#reader gets involves in shenanigans

[strawberrydutchling]

Little Coffee Shop| Transformers AU

Contains- Incorrect grammar. English isn't my forte.

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Location: Little Cafe, Cybertron University

November 5, 20xx

5:00 am

⠀

"Hello... are you guys open?"

A guy asked as he peek through the inside of the little cafe. Soft jazz is playing in the radio, and the air smell of coffee and vanilla, giving a sort of warm, cozy and welcoming feeling. But there wasn't anyone else expect a lone figure behind the counter.

“Actually, it's just me managing this place," The barista corrected, not in a way that seem sarcastic and instead gave him a welcoming smile.

" but yes, 'we're' open. What can I get for you?"

At this point, the customer completely entered the cafe and grab a seat by the bar as he look over the menu.

"Uh, can I get the latte?"

"Sure! Anything else?"

Before he could get the chance to open his mouth, a low growl took over... and it's coming from his stomach. There was a few seconds of silence between them, until the customer let out a cough.

"Um. . . got any breakfast option?"

The barista couldn't help but let out a small giggle, which only made the guy's face flushed even more in a blue hue. Still, they gladly showed him the available options. From sweet to savory, heavy and light.

"So, anything you'd like to try?"

The customer look through the menu again, looking a bit troubled at having to choose. "Mm... they all look pretty delicious. Any recommendation?"

"Well, if you want my option. I recommend the blueberry croissant. Not too light, not too heavy. It also goes well with latte. "

"Then, I'll have that!" He exclaimed rather enthusiastically. The barista couldn't help but chuckle a bit.

"I'll have your order ready in a jiffy. " The barista began making the coffee almost immediately. Since there isn't any other customer yet, they wasn't the need to be too hurry.

And almost like a blink of an eye, they were done. Just adding cocoa powder on the foam for the finishing touch. The croissant had already been made earlier and only needed to add the cream and blueberry.

"Here you go! One latte and a blueberry croissant. " The barista handed the plant in front of the customer, watching him pick up the latte first. He blew the steam and took a sip. The taste of sweet milk and bitter coffee hit his tongue, but both were perfectly balanced. It wasn't too hot either! His face churn to delight as he takes another sip.

"Waa~ that's some good coffee ...and this croissant is really delicious!"

"Aw, thank you. Glad you like 'em! " And they are! Call them cheesy, but it's always makes them happy whenever someone enjoys their drinks and food. Watching their worried and tired faces melt away in just a sip strikes a certified feeling in them.

But seeing this particular person... never once the smile left his face as he practically devours the pastry. It's definitely their favorite by far.

The customer suddenly reached an arm towards them with an open palm. "I'm Bumblebee, by the way!" He happily introduced.

'What a cute name. '

The barista gladly shook his hand back.

"Nice to meet you, Bumblebee. My name is [Name]. I take it you're a freshman?"

Bumblebee's eyes momentarily widened in surprise, but bobbed his head. " How'd you know?"

[Name] gave a small hum, subtly eyeing his figure, up and down.

"You just have this... energy."

"Energy?" Bumblebee tilted his hear, confused.

"Too fresh, too clean. Has yet to see the  "horrors" of stacking projects. Definitely a freshman. "

"Oh wow, that doesn't sound ominous at all!" He sarcastically said, and [Name] couldn't help but chuckle at his reaction.

"But you're right! I'm actually supposed to start my first day."

"Supposed...?" [Name] echoed the word. Bumblebee gave a weak embarrassed chuckle as he rub a finger on his cheek.

"Well, I live a few miles from here, about err... 10-15 minutes of traveling via bus. So I got up early... 'Cause I didn't want to be late on the first day, y'know?"

He caress a finger on the plate, wiping some remaining cream and licking it. Not exactly an appropriate behavior, but [Name] didn't say anything and remain silent.

"But then," He continued. "I found out I was ... too early. The auditorium was still close when I got there, and the opening ceremony starts at 7. Hehe... guess I got too excited."

By the time Bumblebee finished, he now realized [Name] hadn't say anything. He look up from his cup, only to find them just staring at him... listening intently.

He quickly look away and coughed. "He he, pretty embarrassing, huh? "

Instead of hearing laughter or 'yeah, it was' , [Name] merely gave him a smile and shook their head.

"Not at all. I mean, you are entering  a new chapter in your life.... Everyone does." [Name] shrugged. They slowly pick up the plate and cup, which by now were empty clean, and placed them on a black tray.

"I remember my first day. I was in my car, thinking about what could happen. 'What if there's already customers waiting there? ' 'What if I don't get any customers? ' or What if I forgot the recipe in the middle of an order'. And all that jazz. It was only when I heard my sister knocking on my window that I got my senses back. "

A warm smile made its way on their face, like a fond memory re emerging in their mind. Then that smile turn to humour.

"That's when I realized I haven't left the driveway at all! And you know what else?"

Bumblebee didn't say anything, but he was leaning his head closer. Like silently telling them 'what else?'

"...It happened at 3 in the morning. "

That got Bumblebee to break into a fit of laughter. It was... certainly contagious. [Name] couldn't but join in as well. Looking back, it was definitely a funny experience. 

"Hah...great way to start the day, right? But, point is, everyone reacts differently in their first days. Some might feel too nervous, some might feel excited. Nothing to be embarrass about."

The laughter died down soon after, but there was still a warm aftermath. [Name] took a moment to glace over at the clock hanging above the doorway.

6:00 A.M. It read.

"The auditorium should be open by now. Maybe you can explore the campus while you wait for the ceremony."

Bumblebee followed their gaze at the clock, then at his bag that's been lying on a stool next to him. [Name] watch his movement. There was... hesitation... to move from his spot.

The boy literally woke up early so he could  be the first student (at least first year) to enter the university. But now he was... unsure for some reason?

The air conditioner was just getting cozy, his favorite music is playing h̶e̶'̶s̶ n̶o̶t̶ e̶v̶e̶n̶ a̶ f̶a̶n̶ o̶f̶ j̶a̶z̶z̶,̶ his stomach need more time to digest the food. He could think of all kinds of e̶x̶c̶u̶s̶e̶s̶ reasons not to leave just yet!

Bumblebee glance over at [Name], who was just staring at him. But it didn't... felt like in a way they're telling him to leave already or to stay a bit longer.

There was...the look of patience in those eyes. They were waiting for what he'll do next. And whatever he chose, they won't hold it against him.

"...Actually. I'll stay for a few minutes. I-if it's alright with you, of course! "

"Of course. I don't mind. " was all they said, with a smile and nod of their head.

*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*

Time seem to pass by fast when you talk with someone. Well... Bumblebee did most of the talking. [Name] did their little task like wiping the cups, restocking the pastry bar... but all while listening intently to his every word. Even giving their own input one or two times. It was only when Bumblebee's friend, a fellow freshman name 'Bulkhead', texted him asking where he is, that their conversation had to end.

"I gotta go now, [Name]. The ceremony's bout to start in 20 minutes. Thanks for the coffee and croissant!" He exclaimed, quickly putting on his backpack and ready to reach for the door handle.

"Wait!" The barista suddenly called out, rushing from the counter and stepped in front of him... Now that he got a closer look, [Name]'s actually a few inches taller than him. 

Said barista handed him a brown paper bag. It felt warm in his hands, and-- is that the smell of--

"..!! [Name]?!"

"It's on the house. Think of it as your first-day- in- uni- snack. And, a thank you... for keeping me company. " They said, placing a hand over his shoulder. 

"Welcome to Cybertron Uni, Bumblebee. And good luck..."

You're going to make lots of memories here. 

The boy... was speechless. He was practically frozen in the spot, doing nothing but stare at the package in his hands.

For only about a solid minute, as his face soon beamed in joy again, and it was brighter than ever. 

"Thank you so much, [Name]! I'll definitely stop by again!"

They couldn't help but laugh again. It was probably their third laugh today. They couldn't help it. Maybe it was because his demeanor, or how he's smaller than them, but Bumblebee was just too c̶u̶t̶e̶.̶ 

"You're welcome. Oh, and there's plenty in there, so make sure to share with your friends!"

Did they discreetly use him to promote their food? Maybe.

After all, why waste an opportunity? 

Fortunately, Bumblebee didn't seem to see through their little slip of "trickery", as he was already breaking into a run. Occasionally looking back and giving them a wave of goodbye... which got them to almost trip a few times. 

Even as his figures grew smaller, the smile never left their face. 

A new semester has begun. Which means a new chapter in this ... crazy... university. 

'Now to officially start the day. '

-----

Transformers Cafe/ University Au!

I want to say, there's no actual concrete plot (for now), it's mostly focus on coffee talks, hijinks and *gaspo* maybe... romance???. So suggestions are ALLOWED!

Good bye ☕! 

[muntitled]

COULD U DO MATTHEO X F READER DURING HER OVULATION WEEK AND SHES SUPER NEEDY AND HORNY? (Pls I’m ovulating and craving ur fics so bad babe😭🙏🧎🏼‍♀️)

I love how feral this is lmfao -

𝐍𝐨 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐇𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐬 | 𝐌.𝐑.

Mattheo Riddle x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Established Relationship, Dark Fic, Violence, Language, Mention of drugs and alcohol, Slight fluff, Public Affections, Possessiveness, Smut (+18), Dirty Talk, Touch starvation, Fingering, Humping, Grinding, Whining, Sub/Dom Undertones, Blood Kink, Fighting Kink?, Squirting, Major Degradation, Praise Kink, Breeding Kink, Slight Humiliation Kink

The night is deep, and the dungeon is dim as a few sunken eyes peer curiously at you while you make your way through the crowd. Seeing you emerge from within the walls of your private dorm room was a rare and curious sight for everyone involved. It was especially rare for you to embed yourself amongst your fellow pupils shenanigans, seeing yourself as above such baseless devilment.

You were not here for them.

You were scanning the crowd for him because an unfamiliar warmth had been festering inside your stomach and it had propelled your feet forward, until you reached the very centre of the Slytherin soiree commencing in the common room.

Your core is still aching with the after affects of your fingers as you manoeuvre your way through the party. You were touching yourself under satin sheets only moments ago-spurred on by the imaginings of his bloodied fingers slipping inside you, stabbing your cunt until you mewled like a useless whore and he affirmed you as such. His recklessness and delinquency cracked something vital in your brain and you felt yourself get wetter as you pushed through the crowd. You needed him to touch you, your body practically burned for him to absolutely ruin you, and you set out to do just that.

Although you had turned down a concoction of Firewhiskey from an already inebriated Ravenclaw student, your stomach burns with the anticipation of seeing him.

Feeling him.

Smelling his near constant fragrance of Firewhiskey along his lips. You were never clingy but you wished for nothing more than to be in the presence of your insufferable and clingy boyfriend.

A month into your courtship, and you had failed to bring up how much of his habits bypass all sensibilities in your brain. If only he knew how much his recklessness brought about an unmistakable moisture in between your thighs. That,coupled with his bruised and bloody knuckles, spurred on your need, especially during this time of the month.

It had been easy to maintain your composure throughout the rest of the month, effortless, even. Detachment and independence was a by-product of your personality, showing up in the way you shied away from Mattheo's public affections and always appearing uninterested in any of his verbal charms.

One such occasion; you had found him taking up purchase on your bed after an incredibly tiresome day as a Slytherin prefect.

"Make yourself scarce, Riddle. I'm not in the mood," He, of course, was delighted in your indifference- truthfully, he basked in it. Mattheo was somewhat of a masochist, craving the attention of someone so emotionally detached. The very second he noticed how unaffected you appeared with his shenanigans. He might as well have transfigured into a mermaid, because he was hooked.

"How easy you are to repel my affections," He said, letting a bandaged hand fall on his chest as he lay supine like a starfish on your Satin sheets, "How swiftly you deny my companionship-"

"Dont you have any orphans to torture?"

You mourn the past you... how indifferent she had been.

How utterly in control!

The bed dipped as he slithered closer, letting a hand rest on your shoulders as he began to knead the tense muscle there.

"Don't I get a 'How was your day, Riddle?' How did you sleep, Riddle? How did you acquire these bruises, Riddle, and I hope you looked hot doing it, Riddle" it was then that you glanced at the hand on your shoulder. Busted knuckles bred bloodied and broken skin. Riddle's hand was a smorgasbord of cuts and bruises that disappeared up his black, cotton sleeve shirt. You ignored the useless warmth knotting in your core as you continued to undo your shoelaces.

"I needn't ask you because I know you were in the centre of yet another degenerate fight," you had said, burying all the feelings of need amongst your usual, scholarly distractions.

"You love it"

"I hate it actually. It makes me question my affiliation with you.

"You say that princess, but you secretly love it"

You did love it, and right now, distracting yourself is not an option. You watch with bated breath as the object of your affections walks into the Slytherin common rooms. There are plenty of bodies swaying in the dungeons illuminated by various Ravenclaws who have casted Lumos

You see Riddle across the room, head thrown back while he nursed a cup of Firewhiskey. When his head comes back, he sees you too, he raises his cup and he pushes himself off the wall to lessen the distance between you. Your legs certainly achieve a quicker gait as you push past the swaying bodies and soon enough you're bombarded by firewhiskey, with an undercurrent of sweat and leather.

The second you’re close, Riddle lowers his cup on the desk, already having his explanations ready for the impending combat. "If you think I'm gonna let you take my freedom away again, you’re fucking crazy. I'm barely buzzed and I'm getting drunk, or high by the end of this night and there's nothing you-" But your fist is already digging into the softness of his button up shirt and your lips are open as you force them onto his.

Right there, in the open.

Mattheo is naturally stunned, possibly discombobulated.

Had he really gotten higher than he thought?

Did that fucking Hufflepuff make him a stepped on joint?

Frankly, he couldn't care less, and as the shock of it all wore down, and he could feel you begin to slip away, Mattheo slithers his battered hand around your waist and pulls you impossibly close. He smirks into the kiss, as he brings his hand up, fingers gliding across your collarbone, while the other hand lingers around your waist.

"What happened to your hand?" It is a question that threatens to burst the bubble established between the two of you. Why would you ask him this? Why would you bring him back to the events of earlier today when you were so prettily malleable in his hands right now?

"Nothing,"

"Matt..." You say, clouding your words with innuendo, which has him looking up at you with furrowed brows.

"Nott," Is all he says before he buries himself in the crook of your neck. His proximity awakens something animalistic inside of you, it pushes you to the depths of your lascivious desires and has you melting right there on the dance floor. All around you, fellow Slytherins continue to sway to the beat, letting the thrum of the enchanted muggle music speak for them. You throw your head back, gasping at the overwhelming need pooling in your core as Riddle begins to send reckless kisses down your collarbone, all while you imagine beating another guy silly. You blame your cycle. You blame your body. You blame every single hormone responsible for allowing you to emit such a wanton moan so openly in the very centre of a crowd.

"Who do I have to kill in order to get this reaction out of you everyday?" Mattheo is panting, with his hazel eyes dilated (whether from pleasure or substance, you might never know). Who do I have to curse in order to get you to be this slutty for me every single day?" His breathing is shallow and audible, even through all the noise. Mattheo's mind is foggy and the party guests are reduced to a memory. The only image he's able to conjure up is his lips between your wet folds - his tongue eager to find the source of your need while you moaned above him and kneaded your own breasts in a slutty haze.

"I need you, Mattheo," it was fucking infuriating to admit but the wetness has completely soaked through your underwear and a fresh scar is present in the corner of Mattheo's eye. There's a slight red smudge under his nose, and his knuckles are red and angry at the best of your neck, cradling your head close to his.

"Say that again-"

"What? No, I will not fucking-"

Mattheo's grip on your neck immediately unhooks and he detangles your limbs but before he ventures any furthers you're pulling him down to you and with your lips to Mattheo's greedy ears you angrily mutter, "I fucking need you. I need you really badly,"

He stares in your desperate, dark eyes with wonder and awe before letting your wrist be enclosed by his iron grip. Soon, you're being dragged through a Slytherin party with a boy adjusting the front lf his pants and barking orders at the drunken strangers to move before they fucking died.

Just as you succeed in cutting through the crowd a voice stops both of you in your tracks.

"I'm going to fucking kill you, Riddle," the voice booms from over the thumping bass of whatever muggle music was enchanted over the dungeon. Mattheo's gaze cuts away from you, but before he turns completely away, a slow Cheshire cat grin curls at the ends of his lips.

"That threat has grown so unimaginably tedious after years of overuse, Theo but I can't do this right now-" His sentence has already been cut short by an audible blow to his lower jaw. Theo Nott blocked your path towards the darkened hallway, leading to your dorm room and you're left wholly unsatisfied as Mattheo is sent barreling backwards. He lets go of your hand, stopping to wipe the wetness at the corners of his lips and checking to see if it's blood. It is. And something scratches inside of you.

The Prefect inside you wants to intervene but an even darker part of you tells you not to.

Theo is livid, and his wide chest rises and falls as he descends on Mattheo,

"Why the fuck am I being told by Draco of all people, that I can't play Keeper because I'm stuck in the hospital wing-"

"Theo, I really don't have the time for this-" Mattheo begins, but Theo cuts him short,

"Are you trying to steal my fucking place, Riddle?"

Mattheo's voice is leveled as he raises his fingers and says, "Okay, first off, yeah, I am. Obviously I'm trying to take your place. You're a shit Keeper and secondly, I've got somewhere to be," Theo's barreling towards Mattheo once more.

A silly, borderline maniacal smirk explodes on Riddle's face before he makes the shotgun decision to charge and lands a punch at Theo's jaw, allowing for the taller boy to stagger backwards. Your shoulders jump, and you flinch at the sickening sound as you watch with a wide gaze as Mattheo nurses his hurt hand. Theo is a raging bull, but Draco appears from the crowd, with a firm grip on Theo's shoulder. A stern, quiet reprimand.

At the exact same moment, Mattheo's hand finds yours and he smirks as he stalks past Nott, wiping away at his chin as he leads you towards your dorm.

The quietness within is almost jarring compared to the noise out there and as soon as the door closes, Mattheo's lips descend on your neck, "I know, I know," He sighs heavily, as he brings his hand up to your shoulder, "I’m sorry. I just hope I haven't ruined the vibe-"

"I want your fingers inside me, Riddle." He stills at your quiet command, and you leave him standing by the door as you pad over to your bed. "I don't know why, but I just need you, okay? And my own fingers aren't quite doing the trick and I keep thinking about how fucking crazy you are and-", You sigh as you sit at the foot of the bed. Lifting the skirt of your dress, Mattheo watches in the dimness of your room as you venture your fingers under your dress and hook them into your panties. He walks towards you, propelling the wings of the butterflies in your stomach.

All he says is, "Which hand?" He doesn't know why he asks, but he does and his voice is barely above a whisper as he hopes you pick the right answer. His cock twitches in his underwear at the thought of seeing his blood on your skin.

Mattheo stops in between your legs, causing the fabric of the dress to rise while a breeze drifts over your soaked pussy. You bend forward and reach for his bloodied hand.

"I want your fingers inside me,"

Mattheo's resolve immediately snaps and his hands grip tightly at your hips, pushing you backwards and exposing your wet core to him.

"You're fucking dripping through the sheets like a slut- you're a fucking slut,"

Excitement. It rushes through you like a wave of magma at the neediness in his own voice.

Matheo rushes to rid both of you of the excess fabric, casting Evansco, until all he can see is your warm, glistening skin.

"Oh my fuck-" Mattheo's voice cracks as he stares down at your aching cunt, his fingers almost instinctively rubbing over the wetness.

"Touch your breasts," He commands, "I wanna see you do it,"

Your eyes pierce into his dark ones as you bring a shaky hand up towards your puckered nipples. The smallest brush elicits a violent streak of pleasure which would have occupied your entire mind were it not for Mattheo's long fingers already stabbing into your dripping cunt.

"Fuck, you're so wet," He whines, unconsciously burying his hips into the sheets at the foot of your bed as he watches. He is utterly transfixed by his middle and ring finger disappearing into your cunt. Every time they sink deeper your mind gets filled with images of Riddle's unrest and violence. You're utterly wrecked with the thought of his bloodied fingers being inside you, touching the most private parts of you.

"Pick up the pace, Riddle,"

"Shut the fuck up," He mumbles as he takes his time in exploring the very depths of you. Your voice soars to higher octaves as you feel your first orgasm cresting quite literally against your will. How utterly embarrassing, to cum so quickly.

"You're fucking squeezing my fingers- fuck-" You're desperately humping at his hand, hoping your hips might achieve the feat of sinking his fingers further into you. "You're humping my hand so fucking well." His cock aches as he continues to grind it into the sheets, in tandem with your swollen cunt taking his fingers.

"Are you seriously going to cum so soon? Are you that desperate to get fucked-" Your cunt spasms around his fingers and you're moaning as you squeeze your sensitive breasts, already soaring to the heights of your orgasm. Your screams rival the music outside but Riddle never tells you to keep quiet, instead he watches with hungry eyes as your body melts into its orgasm.

"Look at what the fuck you've done," Mattheo's words have you slowly coming back to earth, but not quite... his voice is heavy with lust as you raise yourself by your elbows. Your stomach sinks as you watch Mattheo, he's frozen in front of you, with his head lowered and his gaze on his palm.

"I-I'm sorry-" Your sheets were soaked with your release, leaving a visible damp spot. You squirted everywhere.

"You're gonna do that on my cock," before you can comprehend your words Mattheo already has his cock positioned at your wet folds.

"I'm going to fucking cum inside you and you're going to take it, yeah?" The serious shadow in his darkened eyes hold no room for negotiation, you'd never seen Mattheo quite this serious because seriousness just didn't run in his bloodstream. However, he's utterly ruined by your neediness, needing to take advantage of your compliance before it slipped through his fingers.

"Oh my fuck- Mattheo!"He pulls your hips towards the edge of the bed and his cock forces itself through your folds, until Mattheo is quite literally fucking you with reckless abandon.

"Matt- I can't-'' You're still riding on the sensitivity of your previous high and you think Mattheo could be a little mindful of this but his goal, it seems, is to leave you overstimulated.

"You can," he mumbles, with his eyes squeezing shut before he quickly opens them, wanting to see every emotion flowing over your face.

"You're a slut but you're not a useless slut, are you?" You tits bounce with every movement of Mattheo's hips, and you're shaking your head despite the fog. Your cunt is squeezing the life out of his cock and you feel him pushing at a very sensitive part of you.

Your head is buried in the pillows as your back arches and you swallow him deeper.

Mattheo bends forward, his hips quickening into a needy, restless rut as his teeth sink into the skin around your nipples.

"FUCK-" The pain bleeds into pleasure which streams into your next orgasm. Riddle moans around your skin, suckling at your nipple while he fucked you like he is as touch starved as you are.

"I'm cumming, Matt-" The fact that you're still able to form words is a complete and utter mystery because, not a second later, you're exploding around his cock. A gushing, clear liquid rushes through you while your lips chant his name like a prayer.

"I'm going to fucking breed you, baby- oh fuck, you're so pretty squirting around my cock-" the cracks in his voice; the desperation laced on every word has him cumming inside you, pushing his hips with every spurt of warmth.

You're still shuddering when Mattheo slumps over you. You're both huffing and puffing and basking in each other's release with his cock still very much inside you. "You're getting a contraception potion from Madame Pomfrey tomorrow," you can do nothing except nod as your satisfaction settles.

"I'll come with you," He says.

[jungkoode]

死 KKANGPAE | #14 死

† camping trip mysteries †

"You'd have never said you'd be involved in a Council of 9 meeting at any point in your life; yet here you are, suddenly thrusted into a mission with the Chief you've just hooked up with, because your life couldn't possibly get more complicated."

next | index

⚔ chapter details ⚔

word count: 9k

content: female friendships, silly conversations, Vyunjin, dodgeball, AD being horrible with throws, cryptic stuff, council meetings, having to work with jeon officially, gang loyalty and bestie gossip

☠ author's note ☠

 I really milked this camping trip for all it's worth, huh? Three whole chapters of outdoor shenanigans! I regret NOTHING. Anyway, here's the conclusion of our little nature excursion! Hope you enjoyed this slightly more chill setting (apart from, y'know, chapter 12's 👉🏻👌🏻 situation) because don't worry—there's PLENTY of time for everything to go spectacularly to shit later <3

MY KIWI HEAD 🥝🤧 I genuinely love him so much and I'm as surprised as you are! Who would have thought?? I seriously had ZERO intentions for Takama when I started this—no plan, no backstory, nothing. He just showed up in my brain one day demanding rights.

Maybe I love him so much because he's the only one with more than two functioning brain cells? Like, the man is just... chill. Nice. Using his fucking brain. Being all wise and grounding while everyone else is having emotional crises left and right. THE VOICE OF REASON IN THIS CIRCUS.

Takama x Reader endgame??? Jkjk this is a Jeon Jungkook fanfic ☝️ ...which doesn't mean shit won't happen before/after 👀

ANYWAY I'll leave you to make your own assumptions about our kiwi boy. All I'm saying is that sometimes characters write themselves into your heart and there's nothing you can do about it. Is it just me as an author having unhealthy attachments to my own creations? PROBABLY! You tell me!

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go cry about my fictional characters for the fifth time this week. It's only Tuesday. Send help.

xoxo 💋

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tumblr/twitter: @jungkoode

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾ ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☁︎

The morning hike with Chaewon was exactly what you needed—fresh air, quiet trails... No drama.

But of course, you can't have nice things in Kkangpae.

Not when you return to find V lounging on a log like some tragic hero while J-Hope patches up his split lip.

"What the hell happened here?"

You eye the scene, already getting a headache. The thorny scent of roses fills your lungs as V gives you what immediately recognize as a smug smile.

"Just a little disagreement." V's smile is all teeth despite his busted lip. "Jeon can get rather feisty when he wants to."

J-Hope just rolls his eyes, clearly done with V's bullshit. He hands you a sanitary napkin without looking up, too busy sorting through his medical supplies—which basically means please help me deal with this drama queen.

You crouch next to V, ignoring how his eyes track your movement like he's a cat and you're the bird he wants to catch. The napkin comes away bloody when you dab at his lip, and his body tenses slightly under your touch—barely noticeable if you weren't trained to pick up on these things.

"Careful now." His voice drops low, playful. "I might bite."

You don't miss a beat.

"You bite, you get no help." The words come out flat, unimpressed. "I'm not one of your fangirls, V."

His games might work on others, but you've seen enough of his thorny side to know better.

Those roses have teeth.

A low chuckle breaks the tension. J-Hope's back with his medical supplies, but V's still watching you—though now with something that might be respect.

Or whatever passes for respect in that thorny mind of his.

"You really had it coming this time." J-Hope clicks his tongue, cranky doctor mode fully activated as he settles back down. "Jeon isn't someone you poke for fun without expecting consequences."

"Me?" V's eyebrow shoots up, all wounded innocence. "I was just having a friendly chat. Who knew our brooding Chief still had some fight left in him?"

The act doesn't fool anyone—especially not J-Hope, who (you bet your ass) has been patching up the aftermath of V's friendly chats' for years.

"Friendly chat?" J-Hope scoffs, dabbing at V's lip with more force than strictly necessary. "You two always turn everything into a dick-measuring contest. One of these days someone's gonna end up with worse than a busted lip."

V leans toward you like he's sharing a secret, mischief written all over his features. "He's just worried he'll run out of medical supplies if we keep this up."

You expect J-Hope to snap back—he usually does when people get like this.

But he just sighs, shoulders heavy with a worry that feels too genuine for the Kkangpae's ruthless doctor.

"Or maybe I'm worried you'll end up with a split skull, dumbass."

It's weird, the way it dribbles from his lips—like actual concern.

Which is weird in a place like this, where caring too much can get you killed. But then again, J-Hope's always been different. Maybe that's why he's one of the few people V actually listens to.

Sometimes?

V's eyes meet yours, like he's either hunting for something or escaping whatever was swirling in the doctor's pupils. Though, as everything with V, it vanishes instantly behind that shark-like grin.

"Ah, Hobi, always looking out for me. What would I do without you?"

"Probably be lying in a ditch somewhere." J-Hope says it casually, but his snark feels less blunt now. 

He gives V's shoulder a quick pat—kinda saying 'you're patched up, now get out of my face.' V nods his thanks, but his attention is already sliding back to you. His gaze lingers a bit too long, assessing.

"You've got a steady hand," he drawls, and you know he's not just talking about your first aid skills.

Thorns prickle your skin.

"And you've got a death wish." You hand the bloody napkin back to J-Hope, keeping your voice flat.

Unimpressed.

V's laugh shatters in the quiet. "Oh, you're interesting. I like you."

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?" You arch an eyebrow at him. "Coming from someone who just got his ass handed to him by Jeon, I'm not sure how much that's worth."

His smile widens; ever so slightly. Like what you said made him feel something—bad or good, you really don't care, but it's like his vines are slowly creeping into your lungs.

You just sigh, shrug it off. It's not your problem.

You've got enough on your plate without getting caught up in whatever dick-measuring contest is going on between V and Jeon.

Your attention abruptly shifts to Takama, sitting cross-legged in the grass like some zen master on his coffee break. Despite looking perfectly relaxed with his can of coffee, you know better—the man's probably cataloguing every movement in a three-mile radius.

He's just that kind of observant. It's just how he is, what he does, that much is clear from your training sessions with him.

Persistent without being belligerent; consistent without being insistent.

It's weird seeing him in casual clothes. The navy sweater and white collar combo is a far cry from his usual tactical gear, making him look almost... normal. Like he could be anyone's slightly intimidating older brother instead of Jeon's deadly second-in-command. Even his loose jeans seem deliberately chosen for comfort rather than combat.

He doesn't move a muscle as you approach, eyes fixed on the horizon like his mind has found refuge among the spongy dunes skittering away in the sky.

Or maybe he's just really into his morning coffee.

You plop down beside him, the damp grass immediately soaking through your pants because of course it does.

"Peaceful morning, isn't it?"

You break the silence, knowing Takama won't. Man's got the conversation skills of a particularly stoic rock when he wants to.

There's something calming about his presence though.

Like he's the drizzle after the hurricane.

Plus, he probably won't try to murder anyone over breakfast. Unlike some people you could name.

"Peace is rare around here." The corner of Takama's mouth quirks up slightly. "Savor it while it lasts."

You settle into the comfortable silence, watching the horizon paint itself in morning colors. Next to Takama, even coffee breaks feel philosophical.

"You and V," he starts, offering you the can. "You get along?"

You grab it and take a sip, considering your answer. The coffee's gone lukewarm.

"Hmm."

Yeah that's your answer, because you don't really know what to reply. It's definitely not a yes, but you don't... hate him either?

"He's a wildcard, but I can handle him," is what you end up settling for.

What follows is Takama's laugh—quiet, understated like everything else about him.

"V is... unpredictable. But he's loyal to the gang, in his own way." He pauses, choosing words carefully. "Just watch your back. Testing people is how he entertains himself."

You pass the can back, watching him take another sip. The liquid works through a swallow down his throat, and his Adam's apple bobs slightly. His head tilts towards you when he notices you've gone silent.

"And Jeon? How do you find working with him?"

The question makes your skin prickle, and you know it's not because of how sudden it is—but because of something else, as well.

Images from last night force their way through your mind like a wiggling worm unwilling to let go—callouses on skin, that silver lip ring, the way he'd touched you like you might break.

You take your time answering, very aware that this is Jeon's right-hand man asking—and that your neck probably still has marks his mouth left behind.

But you're not about to tell Takama that.

"He's... intense." You focus on shredding a blade of grass, needing something to do with your hands. "But we kind of... get each other, I guess."

Takama finally looks at you, and fuck—there's way too much understanding in those gray eyes.

Because with V you have a noncommittal answer.

But you just said you get along with Jeon. Kinda.

He doesn't comment on it, and it makes sense—being Jeon's second means he probably sees more than most.

About how hard exactly it is to be in Jeon's circle. Not part of it, not even near—just hovering.

It's not easy, you know that much.

"Jeon respects strength," he says quietly, like he's sharing a secret. "Stand your ground, and you'll earn his respect."

A pause. Then he adds, hushedly:

"Maybe more."

Your pupils flicker between his, trying to parse whatever the hell he means—but nothing in there gives you a hint.

He simply smiles, getting up and helping you up too.

You both turn back to watch the camp wake up, the morning routine starting to buzz around you.

Someone's cursing about cold showers. Someone else is complaining about AD.

You take another sip of lukewarm coffee, letting the bitterness ground you. It's easier than thinking about what maybe more might mean, or why your stomach churns at the thought.

Besides, you've got enough on your plate just dealing with regular Jeon.

You don't need to add cryptic messages to that mess.

The peaceful morning doesn't last long—because this is Kkangpae you're talking about.

Moon's voice cuts through your post-gossip haze, drawing everyone to the center of the camp like a very formal shepherd. Some people look about as thrilled as you feel about being up this early.

"All right, everyone!" He's got that tone—the one that says 'this is mandatory fun and you're going to like it.' "For today's lunch, we're doing something different. Group bibimbap, but with a twist: you'll work in pairs."

A ripple of murmurs spreads through the crowd. You catch Takama's eye—he just raises an eyebrow like 'here we go again'.

"These pairings," Moon continues, all business in his long coat despite the casual setting, "are chosen to mix different divisions and personalities. It's about teamwork and learning from each other."

You barely hold back a snort. Trust Moon to turn lunch prep into a team-building exercise.

Your attention snaps back when he calls out, "Y/N, you're paired with JM. I expect great things from you two."

Well, that could've been worse. At least JM's not likely to stab you over vegetable chopping techniques.

When you reach him, he's already smiling that gentle smile that makes him look more like a kindergarten teacher than a gang's financial mastermind.

"Looks like we're a team." His voice matches his whole vibe—calm as a lake on a windless day. "Any ideas on what we should tackle?"

You're about to answer when a groan cuts through your chat with JM.

You turn to see AD looking like someone just deleted his gaming setup, while J-Hope's already got that 'done with this shit' smile plastered on his face.

"Bro, why the fuck am I always paired with your annoying ass?" AD slumps against a tree, all dramatic like the gremlin he is.

J-Hope just rolls his eyes. "Because Moon loves to torture me, that's why. Come on, let's just get this over with."

Your eyes inevitably roam around the clearing, taking in the other pairings.

Jeon and Chaewon—they acknowledge each other with matching professional nods, something like 'we respect each other but let's keep this strictly business' hovering over them.

Takama and Jessi make an oddly perfect pair, his zen energy somehow containing her wildfire spirit as they huddle together, already plotting.

V's got Yunjin trapped in what looks like his usual chaotic storytelling, though she seems to be holding her own—and then there's Eunchae and Sakura, who look like they're planning to turn lunch prep into some kind of competition.

Meanwhile, Kazuha's hanging onto Moon's every word like he's sharing the secrets of the universe instead of just bibimbap instructions.

"So." JM's gentle voice pulls you back. "Should we handle the veggies? I think we could make a great team in chopping and prepping them."

"Sounds good to me." You find yourself matching his easy smile. "Let's show them how it's done."

At least someone in this chaos circus knows how to be normal.

You follow JM to gather supplies, falling into an easy rhythm. His gentle energy is oddly reassuring, and makes even veggie prep feel zen.

Plus, he actually knows what he's doing, which is more than you can say for half the pairs around you.

Because AD's already whining about something while J-Hope ignores him completely.

Yeah; that's Kkangpae for you.

But then you catch sight of V with Yunjin and your stomach turns, why, you don't know. Poor Yunjin's holding her knife like she's never seen one before, eyes darting around nervously.

And its knives, so yeah, V swoops right in.

"Let me show you," he purrs, and fuck him for actually sounding smooth.

You see his hand sliding over hers, like he isn't the same person who had blood on his lip an hour ago.

"There's a rhythm to it, like a dance." You watch him press closer, caging Yunjin with his body while he guides the knife. "Feel the movement. It's about confidence, purpose."

"Like this?" Yunjin's voice is small, breathless.

"Exactly like that." He eases into it. "Every slice tells a story of precision and care. And you, Yunjin, have a knack for it."

You grip your own knife tighter, fighting the urge to stab those thorny vines right out of the air. He's charming, you'll give him that.

But you fear the sweet floral scent roses simply masks decaying waste underneath.

And he needs to stay the fuck away from Yunjin.

You can't help noticing how she melts under his attention, all shy smiles and batting eyelashes. Like a moth drawn to a particularly deadly flame.

"There, you're a pro now." V steps back with a wink.

"Thanks, V." Yunjin beams up at him. "I think I've got it from here."

A slight movement catches your eye—JM's knife has stopped mid-chop.

His gaze darts between V and Yunjin like he's watching a car crash in slow motion, and it's real subtle, but you catch the way his jaw tightens.

"JM," you keep your voice casual, "you seem a bit distracted. Everything okay?"

He snaps back to his vegetables, gentle smile sliding back. "Oh, it's nothing. Just... observing the dynamics. It's interesting to see how different personalities interact, don't you think?"

You nod, watching V circle Yunjin. "True. Especially with V. Makes you wonder what goes on behind that smile."

"Exactly." His smile is halfhearted at best. "Sometimes, the most cheerful faces hide the deepest stories."

The way he says it makes you wonder just how many of V's stories JM knows.

And how many of them keep him up at night.

You and JM fall into a comfortable rhythm again, just hearing AD complaining about something, Eunchae's bright laughter, the clatter of pots and pans.

Then—crash.

Your head snaps up, muscles tensing automatically. Old habits die hard in Kkangpae.

It's Chaewon.

She's standing frozen, an overturned pot at her feet, staring at one of Jessi's guys like she's seen a ghost. His hand hangs awkwardly in the air where it had brushed against hers. You can see her breathing speed up—tell-tale sign of panic she's never shown before.

JM's knife stills mid-chop. Before you can blink, he's already moving toward her.

Jessi's there too, quickly motioning for the guy to back off—and he does, looking confused and apologetic, but you notice how Chaewon's shoulders drop slightly once he's out of reach.

JM murmurs something to her, too low for you to hear (though you bet that gentle voice of his could probably talk down a rabid bear). Chaewon gives a tiny nod, but her knuckles are still white where she's gripping her sleeve.

When Jessi touches her shoulder, you catch that silent conversation between the three of them.

The kind that comes from knowing someone's demons intimately.

"Alright, everyone, back to work." Jessi shouts. "Nothing to see here. Let's keep the focus on the task at hand."

Everyone turns back to their tasks, but you don't miss how JM stays close to Chaewon, or how Jessi's eyes keep scanning the crowd like she's daring anyone to make this worse.

JM hovers near her for another minute before coming back to your chopping station, and when he does, he picks up his knife and starts slicing carrots like nothing's happened at all.

"Guess we all have our off days, huh?" You keep your voice light, casual. No pressure.

JM's knife stills for a moment. He doesn't look up.

"Everyone has ghosts they're running from." The words come out soft. "Some just hide them better than others."

You let the silence settle. There's an unspoken rule in the gang—you don't go digging in other people's graveyards unless they hand you the shovel first.

"I'm gonna wash up," you mutter, already heading for the makeshift sink, feeling like he needs some silence before being back to normal.

Behind you, JM's knife resumes its path against the cutting board.

You're shaking water off your hands when footsteps approach from behind. Months in Kkangpae have taught you to be alert even for something as mundane as washing up after veggie prep.

"So you do know how to clean up."

The low drawl sends heat crawling up your spine. You know that voice—and the smirk that goes with it—without having to turn around.

"Turns out, I'm full of surprises." You flick excess water in Jeon's direction, catching his dangerous half-smile when you glance over your shoulder.

His chuckle hits you right in the gut, deep and rich and —fuck—suddenly all you can think about is last night.

His hands, his mouth, the way he'd made you shatter.

"Surprising indeed." There's that smug tone again. "Especially since I recall someone being too fucked out to help with cleanup duty."

"Well," you drop your voice low, just for him, "if you hadn't made such a goddamn mess, there'd have been less to clean up."

Your body remembers how close you'd been—how you'd ground against each other like teenagers, desperate and needy.

How his cock had felt pressed against you, so close but not close enough because someone didn't bring protection.

The frustration from last night still burns under your skin, reminder of what could have been.

If he'd just been prepared...

Jeon steps closer, and—fuck—even after last night, his presence still makes your skin prickle.

"A mess, you say? The way I remember it, you were just as responsible for the chaos."

"Chaos?" You meet his gaze head-on, refusing to back down even as heat crawls up your neck. "Don't flatter yourself, Jeon. It was... mild disarray at best."

His grin widens, and you hate how your eyes keep tracking that stupid lip piercing.

"Mild disarray? You were panting like you'd run through every back alley in Seoul."

You scoff, trying not to remember how he'd made you shake, how his hands had felt mapping every inch of you.

"Breathless, maybe. But let's not blow it out of proportion."

"Hah." His eyes narrow. "You've got a sharp tongue. But we both know—"

A shout from across the camp makes you both freeze. Your eyes meet his for a split second before you step apart, smooth as shadows. Professional. Like you weren't just thinking about climbing him like a tree.

Again.

You turn away, finally letting out that breath you'd been holding.

The banter gets you hot under the collar but fuck if you don't want more. Not that you'll admit that.

Even if part of you is already plotting round two.

This time with actual protection. Because seriously.

"Anyway," his voice cuts through your thoughts, "we should get back to work. Long day ahead."

"Right." You nod, and then go right back to prepping veggies.

Yeah. This is going to be a very long day indeed.

The smell of bibimbap hits different after spending all morning chopping vegetables next to JM's weirdly zen energy.

And yup—everyone's gathering around the portable tables, looking stupidly proud of their contributions like they didn't just spend half the morning complaining about Moon's team-building exercise.

You grab a spot next to Yunjin, who's already halfway through telling you about her latest drama obsession; eyes practically sparkling as she waves her chopsticks around.

"No but listen—the main lead thinks his brother died in that fire, right?" She leans in close, pink hair falling in her face. "But then in episode sixteen we find out he's actually been alive this whole time! Living in China!"

You nearly choke on your rice. "That's the most unrealistic plot twist I've ever—"

"Mind if I join?" Takama's calm voice slices through Yunjin's enthusiastic plot summary; slight smile that makes him look more like a monk than Jeon's deadly second-in-command.

"Pull up a chair." You scoot over to make room. "Yunjin's educating me on the finer points of melodrama."

"Ah." His eyes crinkle as he settles in. "The ones where everyone's secretly related and nobody stays dead?"

"Exactly!" Yunjin beams. "Like this one where the brooding CEO's got a secret relationship—"

"Should've fought harder for the meat distribution," you murmur, poking at your mostly vegetable bibimbap.

Before you can finish sighing about your protein deficiency, Takama's chopsticks appear in your line of sight, depositing a generous portion of beef onto your plate.

"Here. I prefer vegetables anyway."

"Liar." But you're already mixing the meat into your rice, trying not to look too pleased. "Thanks."

Yunjin pouts at that, surely expecting some meat too (even when her plate shows basically 0 vegetables anyway). You kick her under the table, and she almost bounces with a chuckle.

"So, V's actually a really good teacher," she says dreamily, pushing her rice around. "Did you know he used to work in a restaurant?"

You cough.

V's "restaurant" experience probably involved more knife-work than cooking.

"Is that so?" Takama asks, slightly puzzled.

"Mhm!" She sighs, all starry-eyed. "And he's so patient. The way he showed me how to hold the knife—"

"Speaking of knives," Takama cuts in smoothly, "your technique has improved, Y/N. Been practicing?"

You're grateful for the subject change. Watching Yunjin moon over V is like watching a butterfly land on a Venus flytrap.

"Yeah, well. Can't let the Seduction Division down, right?"

His smile is small but genuine. "Right."

Movement then catches your eye—Chaewon's heading your way, black bob bouncing with each step. She smiles when she spots you, but you don't miss how she falters slightly when she notices Takama. Her eyes dart between him and the empty space beside you, calculating.

For a second, you think she might turn around.

But then she simply strides over like she owns the place, sliding into the spot next to you.

You don't miss how she angles her body away from Takama, though.

"What's got everyone looking so serious?" She bumps your shoulder playfully. "Don't tell me Yunjin's got you all hooked on her dramas too."

"Not all of us can be as cultured as Yunjin." You grin as Yunjin pretends to be offended. "We were just discussing the finer points of V's... cooking techniques."

That makes Yunjin blush, but Chaewon's eyes sharpen. You catch that protective glint—the same one she gets whenever any of the male members get too close to her division.

"Oh?" Her voice is light, but there's steel underneath. "And how did you find our resident psychopath's teaching methods?"

"Come on, he was really patient!" Yunjin pipes up. "And his hands were so—"

"Speaking of hands," Chaewon interjects quickly, "I heard there was quite the incident at morning coffee. Something about Jeon's right hook meeting V's face?"

Trust Chaewon to steer the conversation away from V's charms while gathering intel in the same breath. Sometimes you forget she's your Chief for a reason.

Heels on grass make your eyes stutter behind Chaewon's silhouette.

It's Jessi; obviously—who claims the spot next to Takama, all long red hair and confident energy.

She's probably the only person who can make eating bibimbap look like a power move.

"Well, well." She waves her chopsticks at your little group. "What's this about dramas? Please tell me someone's finally calling out how unrealistic those chaebol storylines are."

"We were discussing layers," you explain, watching her pile kimchi onto her rice with the same precision she probably uses to plan weapons shipments. "You know, how people aren't always what they seem."

"Like how our fearless Chief here—" she angles her head towards Chaewon, "—pretends to be all business, but I caught her crying over cat videos last week?"

"That was one time." Chaewon tries to glare but can't quite hide her smile. "And you promised not to tell."

"Please." Jessi snorts. "Everyone knows you're a softie under all that badassery. Remember when you threatened to shoot that guy who made Eunchae cry?"

"He deserved it." Chaewon's voice goes flat, protective instincts flashing. "Nobody messes with my girls."

"And that's exactly what we mean," Yunjin pipes up, somehow making even this observation sound sweet. "Everyone's got different sides. Like how Jessi acts tough but always saves the last strawberry milk for AD."

"Oi—" Jessi points her chopsticks at Yunjin threateningly, but there's no malice in it. "Just for that, you're testing all the new rifles when we get back to the castle. Someone needs to make sure they don't jam."

Something about the easiness of the conversation makes something unfurl in your chest.

It's weird seeing these deadly women just... being friends. Sharing lunch and inside jokes like they aren't some of the most dangerous people in Seoul.

But then again, maybe that's exactly what Yunjin meant about layers.

"Sooo," Jessi prompts, "who wants to share their deep dark secrets? Come on, don't be shy."

"Real subtle, Joo." Chaewon rolls her eyes, but you catch that tiny smile she always gets around Jessi. "What's next, trust falls?"

"I'd let you fall." Jessi winks, making Chaewon snort into her rice.

Takama, who's been quiet this whole time, surprises everyone by speaking up. "Sometimes the secrets we keep aren't about trust. Sometimes they're about protection."

"Like how we all pretend AD doesn't secretly feed the stray cats behind the castle?" Yunjin singsongs then.

That breaks the tension, sending ripples of laughter around the group.

Even Takama cracks a smile.

"Or how Jessi acts tough but cried during that dog commercial last week?" Chaewon dodges the grape Jessi throws at her head.

"That dog was reunited with its family," Jessi hisses, but she's fighting back a grin. "Forgive me for having a heart."

"Yeah, buried somewhere under those nine inch heels."

You smile at that, and you note how the sun is high over head now, warming skin through the trees.

You should probably get back to work—those intel reports won't file themselves. But for now, you let yourself enjoy this moment of peace.

Even gang members need lunch breaks sometimes.

Dodgeball is usually fun. Keyword: usually—because when it's among deadly people... competitiveness is too light of a word.

You're in the middle of debating some strategy with Yunjin when Jeon's presence immediately freezes the whole camp. One second you're planning how to take down AD's team (he might be a tech genius but his aim is shit), and the next—

"Meeting. Council of 9, now."

Jeon's voice is calm, as usual. But it's precise, blunt in a way that makes your hackles rise. His face gives nothing away—typical—but something in his posture screams urgent.

The Council members share quick looks before following him into the trees. Moon's already at his side, glasses catching the sunlight. Chaewon squeezes your shoulder as she passes, and Jessi winks at Yunjin, but neither stops to explain.

Just like that, your cozy little camping trip turns into a war room—playful energy from moments ago gone, leaving behind the familiar sensation that comes with being in a criminal organization.

"Damn." Yunjin drops onto the bench beside you, pink hair falling in her face. "Even on a camping trip, we can't escape the threats."

Your little lunch group now feels weirdly empty without Jessi's loud energy and Chaewon's dry comments. You catch yourself staring at the path where they disappeared, like maybe if you look hard enough you'll develop x-ray vision.

So much for that epic dodgeball tournament you'd planned. Although honestly? Getting hit with rubber balls suddenly seems like the least of your problems.

"It's just how things work around here." Takama shrugs, wiping sweat from his shaved head.

Of course the dodgeball game's been put on hold, everyone too distracted by the Council's sudden disappearance to focus.

"Hey, Takemichi!" Eunchae bounces over, still flushed from running around. "Any idea what's going on? You're like, Jeon's right hand and all."

Takama's eye twitches at the nickname, but he doesn't comment on it. "No clue. But Jeon doesn't call meetings without good reason. Especially not during planned activities."

Your eyes drift to where the Council members vanished into the trees. It's odd seeing Jeon actually interact with people—the man's about as social as a brick wall. Even J-Hope, who he supposedly tolerates, barely gets more than grunts out of him most days. That whole don't-fuck-with-me hurricane aura of his keeps everyone at a safe distance.

And yet.

You'd fucked him.

Well, kinda.

Heat crawls up your neck as you mentally reminisce about last night.

Pride mingles with something else as you remember that untouchable Chief's face when he came all over your belly.

Focus, dumbass. Now isn't the time to replay your greatest hits. If Jeon's gathering the Council in the middle of fucking dodgeball, something's definitely wrong.

"Do you think it's..." Yunjin chews her lip, lowering her voice. "MDF?"

The mention of Myung-dong Faction makes everyone's faces go pale.

"Hard to say." Takama's voice drops to barely above a whisper. "But we did just wreck their trafficking ring. Hanjun's gone now. They're not known for letting that kind of thing slide."

You share a look with Yunjin and Eunchae. You remember Hanjun from your last mission—the way he'd crumpled when Kkangpae was done with him.

The way his whole operation had fallen apart like a house of cards.

Sakura's usually bright face is serious as she crouches next to you. "If it's MDF, we're fucked."

"They've been too quiet." Kazuha runs a hand through her wine-colored hair, eyes scanning the treeline like she expects assassins to materialize. "That's not their style. Not after what we did to their golden boy."

And she's right, isn't she? MDF isn't known for their forgive-and-forget attitude. Their silence these past weeks has been... unsettling. Like holding your breath underwater, knowing you'll have to surface eventually.

"Whatever it is, we need to be ready." Eunchae sighs. "Can't let our guard down. Not even here."

"We need to be united now more than ever." Takama's voice rumbles low as he scans the treeline."Division only makes us vulnerable, they might aim for that."

And he's right; because Kkangpae's strength isn't just in its firepower—it's in moments like this, when everyone's got each other's backs.

"Whatever the Council needs," you say, meaning it. "We've got their six."

The group falls quiet, the forgotten dodgeball lying between you like some sad metaphor for your interrupted normalcy. Somewhere in the distance, a bird calls. You almost miss it under the sound of your heart pounding.

A rustle in the bushes makes you lean back.

Though it's just J-Hope, looking way too serious for someone who was laughing at AD's failed dodgeball throws ten minutes ago.

"They need you." His eyes find yours, steady and unreadable. "Jeon asked for you specifically."

You share a quick look with Takama, and he's wearing the same exact puzzled expression as you.

"Me? Why would he—"

J-Hope just shakes his head. Great. Because being summoned by the dude you almost fucked last night during a secret Council meeting isn't complicated enough.

But you don't really have much choice, so you trail behind J-Hope like a kid being called to the principal's office, mind racing faster than your heart.

What the actual fuck could Jeon want? And why during the middle of dodgeball, of all things?

The Council's little forest hideaway comes into view, and suddenly you've got nine pairs of eyes drilling into you.

Great. Just great. Nothing like being stared at by the most dangerous people in Seoul while you're in workout clothes and probably still red-faced from almost getting beaned by AD's wild throws.

Jeon stands like a statue among them, and he speaks immediately upon seeing you.

"We have a situation that needs your input."

No greeting, no explanation, just straight to the point. Pure Jeon. You'd roll your eyes if you weren't so aware of every Council member watching you.

"Remember your first mission?" Chaewon continues. "The women we rescued? You were the only one who actually saw them in that room."

Of course you remember—hard not to, even if you wish you wouldn't.

That cramped, dark room with its rusty bars and stale air. Women huddled in corners like broken birds, some too afraid to even look up when you'd entered.

Your first real taste of what the Seduction Division actually does.

Not the glamorous spy shit you'd imagined, but the ugly, necessary work of saving people from monsters.

"Remember what any of the women looked like?" Chaewon presses.

You try to remember, but the thing that comes first is the smell of fear and desperation—thick enough to choke on.

Then it's their faces. Burned into your brain. And then... hers.

"There was one girl," you start carefully, watching the Council's reactions. "Couldn't have been more than eighteen. Skinny thing, but her eyes..."

You pause, searching for the right words.

"Even in that shithole, she was... I don't know. Like she was just waiting for a chance to burn the whole place down."

You catch the tiny shift in Jessi's jaw, the way her fingers tighten around her weapon.

The air feels like a forest fire waiting to happen.

"Dark reddish-brown hair," you continue, the details getting clearer as you speak. "Matted to hell, but you could tell it was beautiful once. And the way she held herself..."

"That's enough." Jeon interrupts you. "Your recollection could prove useful. We believe that girl is connected to one of our own. This isn't some random MDF hit."

Your stomach drops. Because shit—that... That changes everything.

MDF might be brutal, but they're not stupid.

Kidnapping someone connected to Kkangpae? That's not just an attack—it's a message.

A very personal message.

You watch the Council's faces, trying to read between the lines.

If MDF knows enough to target someone specific, how much else do they know? How deep have they dug into everyone's past?

The thought makes your skin crawl.

"Now we know this is personal." Chaewon's voice is ice-cold, all business. "The question is, how do we respond?"

"We hit back." Jessi's voice cracks like a whip, raw and broken. "Show those fuckers what happens when you mess with Kkangpae."

J-Hope reaches for her shoulder, ever the voice of reason. "I know you want blood, Jessi. But an all-out war will only get innocent people killed."

Jessi jerks away from his touch, but you see how her hands shake. 

"I should've been there," she whispers, more to herself than anyone else. "I should never have left them alone."

The pain in her voice makes your chest tight; you've never seen Jessi like this—like she's barely holding herself together.

"Why don't we just storm their headquarters and slaughter them all?" V (who's been conspicuously quiet until now) raises his voice.

The guy is just leaning back against a tree, playing with a butterfly knife like he thinks he's the Joker or something.

"Picture it." His smile grows wider, more unhinged. "Their precious hideout painted red, bodies everywhere. We could string up their leaders—or what's left of them—as a warning."

JM gives him one look—one that somehow manages to pierce through V's psychotic haze. Like he's the only person besides RM who can actually rein him in when he gets like this.

V slumps back with an exaggerated pout, thorny aura receding slightly. The switch from bloodthirsty to playful is so fast it gives you whiplash.

"As entertaining as that sounds," JM's voice is steady, like a calm lake washing away V's chaos, "we need precision here. Not a bloodbath."

"You never let me have fun." V whines like a kid denied candy instead of mass murder. "But fine, we'll be civilized."

JM turns back to the Council. "Please continue. V's just... working through some things. He understands the need for balance."

Jeon's face gives nothing away, but you notice how his jaw tightens. Having to share space with V is bad enough—having to listen to his murder fantasies is clearly testing what little patience he has left.

"As I was saying..." Jeon continues.

JM gives V another one of those looks and V slumps against the tree.

The thorny scent of roses fades to something more bearable, though you can tell he's just waiting for another chance to suggest mass murder.

"I might have a better idea." AD clears his throat. "A bloodbath would be satisfying, sure, but we need intel first. Something clean and quiet that gives us some advantage."

You watch him run a hand through his messy blonde hair, thinking three steps ahead while looking like he just rolled out of bed.

"We know where their hideout is. Send in a small team, two people max. Get their data, their plans, their weak spots." He pauses, letting that sink in. "Information is better than bullets right now."

The Council members exchange looks. Even V stops fidgeting with his knife. You catch Jeon's shoulders relaxing slightly—he knows a good plan when he hears one.

"Stealth does play to our strengths," Jeon admits, and his eyes flick to you for a split second. "Who did you have in mind?"

AD jerks his chin toward you.

"She's perfect for this. Hanjun's well acquainted with Flower now, but Y/N? She was only there for the takedown. He never had time to report back about her or the other girls. But between all of them," he adds, "she's the only one who got to see all the girls."

Suddenly you've got nine of Seoul's most dangerous criminals staring at you. But you meet Jeon's gaze head-on, refusing to flinch.

Finally—a chance to prove yourself.

And maybe get some answers about what's really going on with MDF.

"She's just an ensign." JM mumbles. "She's gonna need backup."

The Chiefs exchange looks, probably running through a mental list of who they could trust not to fuck this up. Your heart's still pounding from being called in, from learning about this mission that could change everything.

"Jeon will lead this operation." RM's voice leaves no room for argument. Like he's announcing the weather, except the weather is your hookup being assigned as your partner.

Amazing, really love that for you.

"You're picking him for stealth?" V's voice goes high with indignation, like someone just insulted his knife collection. "I'm literally the Chief of Stealth Assassinations. What the actual fuck?"

Thorns prickle the air, sharp with offense. You definitely catch Jeon's tiny smirk—he's enjoying V's tantrum way too much.

"Jeon has the discipline this requires." RM's tone could freeze hell itself. "We can't afford your... creative interpretations of orders right now."

V opens his mouth—probably to suggest murdering everyone involved, knowing him—but JM slaps a hand over it. The look V gives him could kill a lesser man, but JM just raises an eyebrow.

"This mission's success is crucial." RM continues like V isn't plotting JM's death with his eyes. "We need strategy, not chaos."

You watch Jeon's face carefully. His expression gives nothing away, but you just know he's thinking the same thing you are:

How the fuck are you two supposed to focus on a stealth mission when you can barely keep your hands off each other?

"Come on," V's voice drags after getting rid of JM's hand, "we all remember how well these two work together. Like gasoline and a lit match. Either they'll kill each other or fuck like rabbits. Not ideal for a stealth op, eh?"

JM smacks his shoulder, but V just grins wider. Your face burns as Jeon goes rigid beside you, like a gathering strength.

If looks could kill, V would be six feet under from the glare Jeon's sending him.

You stare very intently at a patch of grass, fighting the urge to squirm, because V has no idea how close to home that "fucking like rabbits" comment hits.

Or maybe he does—you can never tell what that psycho actually knows.

"Enough." JM sighs. "RM's guidance is sound. Jeon, you're our best strategic mind. Tactical is probably our best approach right now."

Jeon's jaw works for a moment before he gives a sharp nod. "Understood. I'll lead the operation."

You let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding.

Stuck on a stealth mission with the guy you've secretly hooked up with, while his psychotic sworn enemy watches and makes sex jokes.

Just another day in Kkangpae.

"For now," RM's redirects the conversation swiftly, "let's focus on the task at hand. This camping trip was meant to build unity and trust. We can't lose sight of that."

Unity and trust.

Right.

Because nothing says team bonding like sending you and the guy you're dying to have sex with to infiltrate enemy territory while pretending you've never seen each other naked.

"There will be time later to prepare for the mission." He adds. "But while we're here, I expect everyone's full commitment to this team-building exercise."

Jeon surprises you by actually looking... chastened? as he gives RM a short nod. "You're right. My priorities were misplaced. I apologize for the disruption."

And that's... New. You've never heard Jeon apologize for anything.

But then again, RM's probably the only person in Seoul who could make him bow down. The amount of respect Jeon has for him is almost an entity of its own.

"No need to apologize." RM's stern expression softens slightly. "Let's refocus together on strengthening our bonds as a crew."

More team bonding. Because that's exactly what you need right now... bonding,̶ ̶o̶r̶ b̶o̶n̶i̶n̶g̶?̶

You give Jeon one last look before V's voice cuts through, all manic energy as usual.

"Last one back has to clean everyone's dishes!"

And then he just... takes off running like the psychopath he is, thorns receding with him. Because of course he'd turn this into a competition.

"Oh, fuck no!" Jessi kicks off her heels, already sprinting after him in bare feet. "I am not cleaning after his ass."

Chaewon and JM share this look—probably something like 'we're both too dignified for this shit' passing between them before they're running too, probably realizing nobody wants to risk V winning anything.

"How childish." J-Hope rolls his eyes, but AD's already got that gleam he gets when someone issues a challenge.

"Childish?" AD's grin is pure evil. "I bet I could eat enough for ten people. Give you something real nice to clean."

"You little shit—" J-Hope takes off after him. "Get back here!"

You glance back at Jeon and RM, both still walking like they're above such peasant activities.

But fuck it—you're already sweaty from dodgeball, might as well commit to the chaos.

"Think I'll take AD's strategy." You flash Jeon your sweetest smile. "Eat everything in sight, let someone else deal with cleanup."

You're running before he can reply, laughter bubbling up.

And then, merely a few second later, you hear his steady footsteps turn into something faster.

Looks like even the mighty Chief can't resist a challenge.

The campsite comes into view through the trees, and you pick up your pace.

You jog into the clearing, lungs burning, only to find V and RM already there.

What the actualfuck?

"How did RM beat us?" The words come out between gasps.

The man runs a criminal empire in designer suits, for fuck's sake. He shouldn't be able to outrun anyone.

V just grins that Cheshire cat smile of his and then, Jessi, Chaewon and JM stumble in next, all tangled together and cackling like teenagers.

"JM's face when I almost tripped him—" Jessi wheezes, red hair wild from running.

Everyone else filters in gradually, catching their breath and comparing notes on who cheated (definitely V).

But oddly enough, there's no sign (or sound) of J-Hope or AD.

Then—

"You absolute fucking cockwomble, let go before I rearrange your face!"

"Not happening, you lil' bitch. I'm not cleaning your blood off the floor again!"

You turn to find J-Hope and AD crashing through the underbrush like drunk bears, locked in what has to be the world's most undignified wrestling match. AD's blonde hair is full of leaves, and J-Hope's pristine turtleneck is covered in dirt.

Seoul's most dangerous gang, ladies and gentlemen.

Truly terrifying.

"You wanna fucking go, asshole?" AD thrashes like a feral cat, trying to land a hit on J-Hope. "I'll rip out your spine and use it as a fucking ethernet cable!"

But J-Hope's got him locked down, using his height advantage like the bastard he is. AD might be scrappy, but the doctor's got experience wrestling patients into submission.

"You need to get out of this unscathed first, you dumbass—"

"Then I'll download your consciousness into a punching bag," AD snarls, still fighting. "Have you getting hit for eternity, you piece of shit!"

Their little death match stumbles closer to camp. J-Hope's got AD in a headlock now, ignoring the increasingly creative threats being spewed at his face.

"I'll be patching you up after this, you psychotic gremlin." J-Hope finally slams AD into the dirt, probably enjoying this way too much. "Maybe I'll sew a live rat in your stomach. Let it chew its way out through your organs."

They keep wrestling, but it's getting pathetic—like watching two drunk uncles fight at a family barbecue. Both of them are red-faced and panting, shirts half-ripped from trying to hold each other back.

You can't help noticing they look wrecked—covered in sweat and leaves.

Actually...

"They must've been holding each other back the whole way here." You snort.

No wonder they're last. These idiots literally spent the entire race trying to murder each other.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" V's voice rings out like a demented game show host. "Our esteemed winners, graceful as ever!"

J-Hope and AD freeze mid-choke hold, finally noticing their audience.

The look of pure horror on their faces is priceless.

"Dish duty it is, boys!" Jessi's grin is absolutely feral.

AD shoves J-Hope off like an angry cat, but they're both too winded from their pathetic wrestling match to do more than hurl insults at each other.

"This is all your fucking fault!" AD jabs a finger at J-Hope's chest, looking about as threatening as a wet Pomeranian. "If you hadn't grabbed me—"

"My fault?" J-Hope's voice gets higher. "Big words from someone shaped like a fun-sized candy bar!"

"Say that again, you overgrown fucking giraffe!" AD tries to lunge but stumbles, still panting. "I fucking dare you!"

RM steps in before they can start round two of the world's most embarrassing fight.

"That's enough, you two. We all enjoyed the show, but it's time to work."

They both shut up immediately—even AD knows better than to test RM's patience. But the glares they shoot each other could probably melt steel.

"Can't believe I'm stuck with your ass for cleanup duty," AD grumbles, brushing leaves out of his blonde hair.

"Trust me, I'd rather perform surgery blindfolded. But maybe next time you'll think twice before dragging me down with you."

"As if I need help being slow from someone who runs like a drunk giraffe."

Their bickering fades as they head back to camp, still shoving each other like kindergarteners fighting over the last juice box.

Well. At least you'll enjoy a show during dinner time tonight.

One would think dinner time would be dulled down now, after the Council meeting earlier.

But nope—gang members are scattered around the fires like this is some post apocalypse scavenging situation.

You can't help watching V with Yunjin. He's leaning in close and probably whispering some bullshit about knives being romantic or whatever gets him going.

And Yunjin—sweet, perceptive Yunjin who usually sees right through everyone's bullshit—is eating it up. She's doing that thing where she plays with her hair, pink strands twisting around her finger while she giggles at whatever murder joke V's telling.

You snort into your food, because you just don't get what's it with these two.

The weirdest part? Even knowing what V's capable of (the rumors about his "artistic approach" to killing make your skin crawl), you kind of get why people fall for his act.

He's got that whole dangerous charm thing down to an art.

"Hey stranger!" Eunchae drops onto the bench beside you, nearly knocking over your drink. Sakura slides in more gracefully across from you, because someone in your division has to have coordination.

"What was the super secret meeting about? You went in looking normal and came out all..." Eunchae waves her chopsticks vaguely. "You know. Intense."

"Classified." You shrug, trying not to think about what that meeting means for you and a certain hurricane-aura'd Chief. "Above your pay grade."

"Ugh, you're no fun." She slumps dramatically against your shoulder. "I wish I could join the Council just to know all the juicy stuff."

"We're here if you need to talk," Sakura adds quietly, and fuck—sometimes you forget how perceptive your division can be.

"Thanks." You bump Eunchae's shoulder, warmth blooming in your chest. These idiots might be professional honey traps, but they're your idiots. "I mean it."

You go back to your food, half-listening to Eunchae's story about some mark who thought cryptocurrency was foreplay. But your eyes keep drifting to V and Yunjin.

What's your friendly neighborhood psychopath plotting this time?

However, the first drops of rain quickly hit your food like tiny bullets. Within seconds, the drizzle turns into a full-blown downpour because of courseit does.

Nothing like a surprise shower to end your deeply suspicious dinner observations.

"Oh, come on." Eunchae snatches up her plate, already running for cover, chestnut hair plastered to her face by the time she makes it three steps.

Your eyes snap to where V still has Yunjin trapped in conversation. They're both getting soaked but Yunjin's still hanging on his every word, pink hair turning darker in the rain.

"Yunjin!" You pitch your voice to carry over the rain. "Unless you want to catch pneumonia, might want to wrap it up!"

She blinks like she's coming out of a trance, finally noticing she's halfway to drowned. The spell breaks—thank fuck—and she hurries over to you, gathering her stuff with slightly shaky hands.

"Thanks for the save." Her voice is quiet, almost sheepish. "Got a bit... distracted."

"Yeah, no shit." You grab her arm, steering her toward your tent. "Let's get inside before we both melt."

You dodge through the chaos of gang members running for shelter, curses mixing with laughter. Someone—probably AD—slips in a mud puddle and lets out a string of creative profanity that would make a sailor blush.

The relative safety of your tent feels like crossing a finish line. The rain hammers against the canvas, but at least you're dry.

Well. Drier.

The rain doesn't let up for hours, turning the campsite into something out of a moody indie film. But inside your tent? It's like a sleepover bubble—wrapped up in cozy blankets and the glow from Yunjin's phone where some poor actor is having his third dramatic breakdown of the episode.

Yunjin's using your stomach as a pillow, pink hair splayed across your hoodie while she decimates the bag of chips between you. Every few minutes her hand dives in without looking, too focused on whatever absurd plot twist is happening now.

"This one's actually decent," she murmurs, smiling at the screen where someone's probably discovering their evil twin or something.

"If you say so." You can't help grinning as the male lead clutches his chest like he's having a heart attack over a text message. "These writers must be on something wild. Like, who comes up with this shit?"

Her giggle vibrates against your stomach.

"That's why they're fun! You never know what's coming next." She tilts her head back to look at you. "Kind of like living here, right? Never a dull moment in Kkangpae."

"God, don't jinx it." But you're laughing too because she's not wrong. Your life has definitely taken some drama-worthy turns lately. "Though I hope we're at least more realistic than that."

You both fall into easy conversation, trading comments about the show and today's chaos. When the male lead starts laying it on thick with the female lead, you see your chance. Time to figure out what the hell V was playing at earlier with all that knife teaching.

"So." You poke Yunjin's side with your toe, aiming for casual. "What's with you and V today? The whole knife lesson thing seemed... weird."

Yunjin doesn't look away from her drama. Of course she doesn't.

"I mean, have you seen him?" She sighs dreamily. "He's like a walking thirst trap. Those hands..."

"Oh my god." You stare down at her pink head in disbelief. "You'd actually fuck him? Like, actually actually?"

She finally tears her eyes from the screen, twisting to grin up at you with zero shame. "Why not? Life's too short not to ride at least one psychopath, right?"

The silence stretches.

"What?" She raises an eyebrow at your horror. "You wouldn't?"

"Jesus fuck no." You mime gagging. "You know he probably has some weird murder kink. Like, he'd probably want to chase you through a haunted house with a knife while dramatic music plays."

"Haunt play?" Her eyes go wide  before she breaks into giggles. "That's... weirdly specific. But don't knock it till you try it, right?"

"Yun." You roll your eyes so hard they might get stuck. "He'd probably set up a whole haunted house just to get his rocks off."

"Okay but..." Yunjin props herself up on her elbows. "Haunted house but make it sexy? That's kind of genius."

"You're actually insane." You shove her shoulder, both of you dissolving into laughter. "I swear to god, if I ever hear spooky music from his tent—"

"You'll what, call the ghost police?"

Her laughter shakes your whole body, bright and infectious, and the small space of the tent makes this ridiculous conversation feel somehow safer, more intimate.

Just two girls discussing their terrible taste in men while hiding from a storm.

Even if one of those men happens to be Seoul's most notorious psychopath.

Yunjin flops back down, using your stomach as a pillow again. The drama's still playing on her phone, but you're too busy thinking about V's games to focus on whatever chaebol drama is unfolding now.

"For now," she sighs dreamily, "I'll stick to living through these ridiculous romances. Much safer than the real thing, right?"

You hum in agreement, watching raindrops race down the tent's surface.

"Sounds smart. But if you do decide to test out V's haunted house kink..." You poke her side. "I want every single detail. For science."

"Deal." Her giggle vibrates against your stomach. "But only if you keep saving me from his 'passionate teaching moments'. My knife skills are fine, thanks."

"Always."

The word comes out softer than intended, but you mean it. In Kkangpae, real friendship is rare as fuck. People either want to kill you, fuck you, or use you—sometimes all three.

But Yunjin? She's different.

And all the while; the rain keeps drumming steadily against the canvas, turning the world outside into a blur of gray and green.

In here, none of that exists.

Not V's thorny games, not Jeon's hurricane, not the Council's secret meetings.

Just you and your best friend, safe and warm while the storm rages on.

For now, anyway. Tomorrow's another story.

goal: 400 notes

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[jinxs-gf]

Black Cat!Reader x The Team Headcanons

Black Cat!Reader x The Team

note: just because you’re in place of Black Cat doesn’t mean this is fem!reader! this is very gender neutral besides the mention of lipstick briefly…even then that’s not lady exclusive :)

content/warnings: this is seemingly set during s1 like my other yj fics but I imagine everyone being way older 😔🙏🏽 it’s weird but just roll with it pretty please. also…a bit suggestive??

word count: 3.6k

a/n: I wouldn’t have done this but this anon gave me the idea and I HAD to expand on it unfortunately

THE TEAM (platonic)

Lots and lots of flirting from reader, OBVIOUSLY. do y’all even KNOW Black Cat????? it would be relentless. and no matter how annoying and probably overwhelming it got, you wouldn’t back down

with even the toughest/hardest to crack team members

it’s not even like you’re attempting to lure them in…or get romantically involved (unless…), it’s just how you are. who can blame you! flirting is fun

you started off as just another “villain of the day.” Someone they could take on easily. They thought of you as a pity mission. An bad guy as small as a simple thief? What fun was that?! They’ve taken down Gods, magicians, robots…and Red Tornado assigned them a thief??? It was a joke.

until it wasn’t. until Batman saw potential in you (because of course he did. Robin was not happy about this.)

You earned the nickname Cat, which was a nickname in itself for Kitty Cat (Wally's idea, not yours, you gave him hell for it)

your first mission with them was definitely something. messy, to say the least

it was weird, the whole mind link thing. you made jokez and flirted through the link as a way of coping because…well you felt out of place

everyone was so close with each other, not to mention they didn’t come from a background of “bad guy shenanigans”

you felt like an outcast for the longest time, until everyone was revealing vulnerable secrets with each other before a mission. you finally spoke your insecurities with your place on the team

you and Artemis had the same worries (more or less) and bonded over that

you finally were able to let loose and just…be yourself around them

you became soft

the flirting and teasing was still there, however it was saved for missions

you preferred to keep Black Cat’s reputation

individual relationships

ROBIN (romantic)

He was very much against the idea of you being on the team. Sure you weren’t a crazy villain that hurt people (maybe not physically…but you were definitely a heartbreaker, Robin concludes)

You were still a thief at the end of the day. A bad person. And he didn’t like that.

It was Batman’s idea—and usually Batman had great ideas. This was a very bad one. He hated every bit of it.

…until he got to know you better

Taking you down was easy. “Easiest job I’ve ever had,” Robin boasts.

You pout, “that’s not very nice.”

Ha. He knocked you down a peg. Good. You needed a little humbling-

“-How come you’re lying to me, Robin? I thought we had something.”

Uh oh. He absolutely hated when you used that sickeningly sweet voice on him.

Of course you didn’t believe his lie. Of course you could tell how difficult that mission really was.

It’s not apart of his proudest moments. He hesitated to stop you on the mission, completely caught off guard by your flirtatious behavior. I mean, who wouldn’t be?!

In a moment of weakness, he let you go. Awestruck by the kiss you left imprinted on his cheek. Something he got teased relentlessly for.

The rest of the team finished the job for him after that.

In the back of his mind he knows the only reason he didn’t like the idea of you being on the team was because he…knew it wouldn’t end well for him. He was sure to be on your long list of broken hearts (a list that was never confirmed to even exist)

It made sense in his mind…he was Robin. A bird. And you were a cat. A right recipe for disaster. You’d trap him in your greedy little claws and eat him alive.

Over time that perspective changed.

Robin hates to admit it, but he’s softer now. Softer around you. For you.

“I know who you are,” he says with that arrogant smirk.

“So why can’t I know who you are?”

“Only…really important and trustworthy people know. The only person who knows besides Batman is Wally. He’s my best friend.”

“Why doesn’t that include me?” you’re practically purring, rubbing a finger down his face, “am I not important enough to you?” You pout for show

He looks dejected, like he was having an internal battle with himself. And you could tell which part of him was losing.

Your fingers inch slowly towards his mask, ready to lift-

“Robin.” And the stupid, stupid monotone voice that belonged to Batman interrupted you.

You’ll get him back for that.

Robin was now being scolded, but he was having none of it.

“It was a moment of weakness.”

“It will not happen again. No more moments of weakness. You’re growing, your body is going through a lot of different things. Keep it in your pants-”

“Whoa old man! Whoa! That’s going too far. And what about Selina?! You’ve had many moments of weakness because of her. You can’t scold me for this one time.”

“It’s because of my experience with Catwoman that I know better. I’m trying to stop you from…getting hurt.”

Robin calls bullshit on that. What could you possibly do to hurt him? (Thoughts that completely contradict his first impressions of you)

The next time he sees you he’ll spill everything. He’ll let you know that he does trust you and that you do matter. That you’re important to him.

Just to spite Bruce. And maybe because he really likes you and wants you to know it.

It was his idea to bring you onto the team anyways…he’s just giving Bruce exactly what he wanted. A warm welcome to a new teammate.

WALLY (romantic)

Wally was so happy someone FINALLY reciprocated his advances. And especially with a catch like you? Black Cat?! He was over the moon.

At first.

It quickly came to be too much. He's been waiting, praying for someone to match his energy, but now that he's got it? He's not exactly sure how to handle it. He's gotten so used to being blown off, teased, and scolded for his flirting that it was weird when you flirted back.

He was of course the first to tease you when you officially joined the team. He gave your your nickname, Kitty Cat. You despised the name and him for the longest time.

Wally was annoying. Taunting you at all times. Calling to you as if you were an actual cat.

He'd click his tongue, "here kitty kitty."

And for that, your flirting was meaner towards him (compared to how you treated everyone else). Which is the exact reason why he couldn't handle the teasing from you. It wasn't the normal way Robin would, "oh yeah, Wally can't phase the way Flash does. Otherwise he gets a nosebleed. Right, loser?" Or the way Artemis would, "ugh, you flirt like a divorced 40 year old who's desperate for a rebound. Loser."

No, your teasing was quite different. You laughed cruelly, throwing your head back for show, "Come get it before it's gone, loser."

So. He was still a loser to you, but it seemed you actually liked that about him. Maybe.

Wally didn't like it as much as he thought he would. It ruined his cool guy facade (one that didn't exist, Robin would say). It was humbling, the way he suddenly tumbled over his words, face flushed red and all.

More than humbling. It was embarrassing.

You bring him down to the mat with a loud THUD. Much like the time Black Canary beat him during their first time training. Except you used your weight, tumbling on him (and straddling him in the process. Great).

Embarrassing embarrassing embarrassing.

The only person that was able to truly catch him was his best friend, Robin. And that's with years of experience with the speedster. You'd know him all of a few months and you're able to do it?!

"It won't happen again,” referring to his teasing of your name, naming you Kitty Cat and clicking his tongue at you.

“Or I’ll have to teach you a lesson. Much different from this one.” And you casually walk away.

Wally desperately wanted to get up, to humble you back. But he couldn't. He felt physically incapable of doing so.

You had really done it. You slowed down the (second) fastest man alive.

Wow.

"Wow. That was extremely painful to watch," of course Robin had something to say about it.

"Shut up man."

KALDUR (romantic)

It was "unprofessional," he said.

Unprofessional your ass. It was perfectly professional. A lot of people on the teams had partners within those same teams. Black Canary and Green Arrow, Superman and Wonder Woman (exes—but that still counts for something), Conner and M’gann acted like a couple and no one said anything! So what was the problem?

Well apparently there wasn’t a problem…seeing as this “relationship” was more welcomed—as in, Kaldur didn’t tell the Black Cat off when they made advances towards him. Besides when he called their behavior “unprofessional.” That was once. He didn’t say a word of it after that.

In fact, he allowed—dare anyone say encouraged it.

On missions you were attached to his hip. Even if he assigned you to be by Artemis’ side or assist Robin, you wouldn’t listen. And he didn’t say anything about it, instead informing the team to continue on with the plan.

His professional act as the team leader never faltered, not even you could break it down. He merely tolerated your flirting (his words, though you knew better. He loved it).

The team was each in their individual positions scoping out the area, ready to attack at a moments notice. Kaldur was squatted down and you decided it was the perfect opportunity to pounce on him (as you usually did). You wrapped your arms around his neck, now on his back.

“Does the team leader have time for some sweet talk?”

“I, we have a job to do, Cat. Focus.”

You hum, “What are we doing here again?”

He starts relaying the plan to you, you taking note of the way he doesn’t scold you (he repeated the plan to the team multiple times on the way over, he surely would’ve berated one of the other guys for not listening). You never had any intentions of listening, only wanting a chance to annoy him.

“Blah blah blah, is this your version of sweet talk?” You squish his face between your fingers and plant a kiss on his cheek.

He only sighs, “Later. After the mission is complete.”

For once, your find yourself surprised. He’s promising to reciprocate your advances?

This should be fun.

CONNER (romantic)

M'gann was more subtle with her flirting (not really, especially with the way she blushes), more timid and on the nose about her feelings. You? You got straight to the point. Kind of like how open Artemis was when she first joined the team. She had no shame letting the team know telepathically how attractive she thought Superboy was. Seriously, what was it with new recruits and taking an immediate liking to Conner? Why not the other three boys? What did he have that they didn't!

Although Artemis gave up on that crush at first sight almost immediately

You? Not so much. it was very noticeable that the Black Cat was adamant on cracking the boy of steel. it seemed like an impossible mission, but with a little determination and a couple sultry words? it was pretty damn easy

This is very much an enemies to lovers type relationship (kinda):

At the beginning, when you first met, he was open to new relationships. Getting to know people he could count on within the team, though that openness completely died down. Your flirting was nonstop. Even on missions! How was he supposed to concentrate on the task at hand when you found time to graze his arm or speak soft words to him?

You annoyed him, sosososo much it wasn't even funny. Even more than M'gann did. Both of you were insistent, that's for sure. But one was more bold than the other. He tried telling himself it was because he didn't like you: at least with M'gann he wanted a relationship to come from it (not necessarily romantic)

But with you...he hated you. No. He hated the way he reacted to your advances...he hated admitting to himself that your words affected him. That he felt something not so platonic for you. Damn you and your stupid flirting. It was surely going to be the death of him. And that's saying something: the clone of the man of steel actually breaking down? unheard of.

But you managed to do it. Unfortunately.

Conner finds himself thinking about you, more than he'd like. Another reason to dislike you. You take up his mind. Every waking moment and every dream. It's infuriating.

And now he was starting to worry about you during missions. He saw you get knocked down, away from the rest of the team. The fall looked nasty, and with the way you seem to lie there with no intention of getting back up, he's sure you've been knocked out

Conner tries to ignore the way his heart clenches at the sight, kind of like the way it does when concerning you in different context

It gives him the courage to voice his worries, he calls out to you, and as expected: he gets no response

The enemy leans down to your level, ready to do more damage. Conner is quickly snapped out of his daze and starts running over to you

Until he abruptly stops. Because you open your eyes to wink at him, jump up, and take the enemy down with ease.

It's right then that he takes back every thought of admitting he doesn't hate you. Because the stupid smirk you're sending his way reminds him of every reason why he dislikes you.

Everyone is home or in their respective rooms already, leaving you and him. You're behind him, massaging his shoulders gently (your touch wouldn't have persisted if he showed any signs of discomfort, he leaned into it in fact, allowing you to continue)

You bring your head down, cheek to his,

"Oh come on. You can lie to everyone and yourself. But you can't lie to me. I know you were worried back there. Just admit it, Loverboy."

He can only roll his eyes. And blushed. You were never going to live this down.

"I wasn't. Now leave me alone." If only his actions were as convincing as his stern words. Words that would've scared off the likes of M'gann had she been in your position. But you knew better, knew that his shaking hands and quickly warming face meant that his words had no meaning.

Your hand dragged from his shoulder to his chest, right over his heart. Yeah, his words were meaningless with the way his heart was beating for you.

Conner was finally warming up to you and you had him right where you wanted him.

And so you let go. "Whatever you say, Loverboy," and with a kiss to his pink cheek, you leave him alone to ponder his complicated feelings.

Feelings that were in fact not complicated at all. Because Conner was finally, finally ready to admit to himself and to you that he wanted you. So badly.

If only you hadn't pulled away so quickly, he couldn't reciprocated the kiss or two...it would've been an easier, showing you how he feels instead of saying it out loud.

He'll kiss you next time.

M’GANN (romantic)

The Martian can't hide her liking towards you for the life of her. She could’ve even if she tried.

It was near painful, you pitied her. You almost felt bad and stopped teasing her. Almost.

It was fun though, how could you stop?

M’gann would actively seek out your approval and attention when you joined the team. It was only natural, she did it with the rest of the members, so you were no exception.

Besides, the only teammate she was kind of close with was Artemis. Was it sooo wrong of her to want to get close to you?!

Nope! Though she does wish you weren’t so…forward sometimes. Not that it’s unwelcomed, she’s just unsure of how to act because of it. Is she supposed to reciprocate? M’gann has never seen nor experienced such a dynamic on Mars, much less on Earth. So she awkwardly blushes and smiles.

Eventually she gets used to it. And gets very much into it. She won’t vocalize her feelings, instead she’ll mind link and talk that way. Often times it’s easier to communicate through touch. Which says a lot, M’gann would rather use touch?? Not the mind link?? Which was the main source of communication on Mars? Whoa.

It was mainly because…she didn’t want to reveal all her feelings to you. She’s usually able to control what goes through the mind link, having done it since childhood, but you’ve made her mind a complete mess. She all but short circuits when you’re around.

Can anyone blame her?

"You know what I'm thinking?"

"No."

"Well you can read me, can't you Martian girl?"

She giggles at herself, how could she forget? "Hello Megan!"

Her smile turns timid once she reads your mind.

"Oh."

ARTEMIS (romantic)

It was honestly unfair how fast the blonde caught your attention. Her voice. Her stupid raspy voice.

Unfortunately for you, Artemis wasn’t exactly buddy-buddy with you at first. Well, she wasn’t really with any of her teammates. But with time she’s learned to get along with everyone.

“I just wanna get to know you, Blondie. What’s wrong with that?” You asked in the sweetest voice you could muster up, one that usually made everyone fall.

Yet she rolls her eyes.

So that’s how it’s gonna be, huh? Fine.

It was right after a mission, everyone was surrounding Red Tornado, relaying the events to your mentor.

“You know we could’ve took that guy down way faster had you not been on Robin the whole time.”

“Jealous Blondie?

“Stop calling me Blondie!”

You had sleepovers, movie nights, and other hang out outside of missions. With or without the rest of the team. They were fun, the first time you were alone with her is what really got her to warm up to you.

“Ugh! Of course literally everyone else canceled but Cat.” She really seemed to hate you.

You were outside her window, watching as Artemis complained to no one but herself. She once offhandedly commented on how her place was off limits for hangouts (refusing to explain why, which was okay with the team).

You were definitely crossing a boundary doing this, but she seemed upset in the group chat. You couldn’t just leave her by herself.

And then…the Sportsmaster walks in her room. One of the team’s enigmas. A thorn in their side. What the hell?

He does nothing but berate her for not “joining them.” Joining who? Then proceeds to say he’d be happier if she ever thinks to change her mind

“I’m never going to be apart of your messed up team, dad.”

Oh.

And then he’s just…gone.

You’re stunned, and only then does she finally notice you. She ushers you into her room, now berating you for your actions and spying and breaking her boundaries and…

“Your secret is safe with me, babe.” It was meant to be a term of endearment to reassure her,

Friends called each other babe, right?

“Babe?”

“You’d rather be called Blondie?”

She rolls her eyes, “whatever.” And as annoyed as she wanted to seem, she smiled and hugged you gratefully.

It was the only time you allowed yourself to be any kind of vulnerable around her. Or any of the team for that matter.

Once she got over her high horse, it was a very reluctant friendship turned…something more? That’s to be determined. But with the way she now flirts back? You’d say that was a good sign.

“Hey Blondie.”

“You calling me Blondie is the equivalent of Wally calling you Kitty Cat. Maybe I’ll have to teach you a lesson this time around.”

“I like the way you think, babe.” (You say not so platonically this time)

ROY (romantic)

You were on him as soon as he rejoined the team. How could you not be? He was even grumpier than Conner was when he joined, making him extra fun to mess with.

You had no chill when flirting with him, he decided immediately that was annoyed with you. And did not want to be friends.

Because his actual friends brought him joy, they made him laugh and they listened to him when he had bad days. You? You made a bad first impression, therefore he refused give you the chance to do any of those things.

Often telling you to buzz off and if you didn’t he’d “choke you with a hair ball.” Kinky, you replied.

He hated it.

Until you found out about his girl, his other Cat. Cheshire. That’s when things changed. You were less…on him.

"Me and her were never a thing!"

"Getting defensive there. Afraid I'll get jealous?"

"I could care less about your feelings."

“Oh really? Is that right?”

His eye twitched. He couldn’t believe he was trying to…reassure you? Was that what he was doing?

He was trying to make sure you knew he wasn’t with Cheshire. That her feelings were one sided. It’s something he shouldn’t be doing, he tells himself. In fact, he should be doing the opposite. Tell you that she means something to him, or maybe stay quiet and insinuate that they had something going on.

To get you off his back.

You seemed to back off completely when you found out Cheshire flirted with him often on missions when the goal was to take her down. Much like how the team’s predicament when they first met you.

It made you…upset?

And for some reason that made him upset.

“So you’re my Roy Toy? Mine completely?” Wally and Robin had originally griped about the nickname until it eventually made them laugh. They came to appreciate it.

“I’m no one’s. Not yours, not Cheshire’s, not the Justice League’s nor the team’s.”

“You will be mine one day, Speedy. And you’ll love it.”

Roy doesn’t respond but he feels like…there is some truth to your playful statement.

Maybe one day.

bonus:

THE TEAM

They all slowly turn towards you.

"...you've kissed all of us?"

You only shrug, “wasn’t that obvious?”

you can tell I got lazy lmaooo

I hate how I formatted this omg

[amazinglyashy]

Hello! Could I make a request with Sylus where the reader/MC becomes really close with the twins (platonically). They’re always up to shenanigans together but Sylus doesn’t realize how come they are until he finds them in a cuddle pile sleeping ☺️ Maybe he’s irritated at first that the boys are cuddling his woman but I think his heart would warm knowing the people closest to him get along like that

This was so sweet, I loved receiving something for the twins, especially as someone who's so big on physical affection, and especially with my friends <33 Thank you, and I hope you enjoy!!

If it makes you smile-

Read on AO3

Pairings: Sylus x Reader, Luke and Kieran & Reader

Wordcount: 1,031

Sylus was more than aware that the twins could be childish.

More than aware.

And he knew they would oftentimes drag you into their shenanigans- no matter what said shenanigans were. It could be something on a grander scale, such as when you all… pranked, a local, low-ranking crime lord, unbeknownst to Sylus himself until long after the act had been committed. Rigged explosives of confetti and dynamite were what he had heard about, through the grapevine of Elysium. Other times it could be quite innocent, like when he had heard about the time the three of you had gone through his list of trustworthy informants and ding-dong ditched every single one of them, like going through a hitlist with so much less bloodlust.

He had needed to explain himself and his henchmen in order to rebuild so many relationships, and it was no surprise just how many of your little endeavors had left him with inconvenient little annoyances.

But when it was you involved, how could he ever be mad at you?

And that was quite similar to how he was feeling right now, staring down in the living room of the main safe house that he used as a base of operations, fire crackling behind him as it warmed the room from the hearth. Pure velvet couch cushions, silken pillows, and cheap arcade plushies were strewn everywhere like a middle school sleepover pillow fight had taken place in the comforts of his own home, rich designer furniture and décor be damned. There were even some fresh blankets that looked like they had been previously put into a position to create the roofing of a fort, long since torn down in the aftermath of a plush war.

And in the center of it all?

Three people, all draped across each other. Mixed in with all of the blankets, pillows, and plushies that already were scattered around the room- just how many had the three of you collected from around the house…?- Luke and Kieran were out cold, obviously more tired from the mission Sylus had given them the night before than they would have ever admitted to his face. Kieran's head was pressed up against the side of the couch, his chin touching his chest as his arms crossed over it, looking perfectly comfortable despite the severe angle his neck was bent at. His mask was nowhere to be seen, and Sylus wondered if it had been collateral damage in the hard-won battle.

Meanwhile, Luke was across his lap, a hand behind his head as his own mask hung half-off his face, his mouth wide open as he snored. He seemed to be a lot more comfortable than his twin- maybe a bit too comfortable, his other arm was wrapped around you, holding you against him even despite the small amount of drool coming from your mouth that was pooling along his shirt.

That wasn't anything that surprised Sylus, he had known you were tired when you had left for work early in the morning when he had just been heading to bed for a nap, and that was before your already long shift headed into overtime. He'd felt a bit guilty climbing under the warmth of the covers as he heard you rustling around the room and getting dressed, but there wasn't any way he could have helped it. And then he had been too busy to have dinner with you, so he had sent Luke and Kieran home to try and cheer you up, and make sure you had help with anything you may need with how exhausted you would be. He'd been zeroed in on getting his work done in order to come home shortly after them, but even still- it had gone longer than expected, and he was at the end of his rope with the idiots he had been dealing with by the time he was finally done.

He wasn't… expecting this outcome in front of him by the time he got home, per say. But it didn't catch him off guard. He'd long since known how much you loved the twins- they were a connection you'd never had before, and filled the void inside of you that Sylus himself couldn't even fill, being your romantic partner already. They were something familial and familiar, something you had sought after for year after year, and finally found in the two of them. He was happy to see that your day filled with overwork had turned into something fun and sweet, if the plushie causalities were anything to go off of.

Still, he couldn't help the little pang of jealously sneaking into the corners of his heart.

He didn't care for it, he found it unbecoming- especially with how much he knew about your lived experiences and the hardships you had dealt with- that you were still dealing with somehow, despite looking so careless as you did now among old Christmas blankets pulled out of storage for a fort that most children dreamt of, not adults. Not adults that went through so much pain-

At least, that's what most would think. Including himself, ages ago. Back before he had met you. Back when he didn't know that sometimes, growing meant going backward, and enjoying the experiences you missed out on or simply missed. Before he realized how much healing you were working through, fighting your own little battles that he didn't even see.

And while Sylus himself was your prince charming, the twins had taken up the mantle of knights in your story.

They helped you in ways he couldn't- were there for you when Sylus couldn't be- or shouldn't be, and that was okay. It could be a hard pill to swallow, realizing that there were some things he just wasn't equipped to help you with, but it went down so much easier knowing one thing.

The one thing was just how loved you were.

And if the twins could help you with anything you were going through, Sylus could handle seeing a few more destroyed pillow forts. A few more cuddle piles of tired limbs and drool.

Anything, as long as it made you smile.

[spiicii]

the og bloodline / bloodline property (snapshots)

jey uso / jimmy uso / roman reigns / solo sikoa / sami zayn x fem!reader   word count → 7.0k summary → you belong to the bloodline, but life with the family isn’t without its shenanigans. between prank wars and arguments over movie night, the boys certainly know how to keep you on your toes.  notes → this fic is meant to be a fun look at the character dynamics! i get a lot of questions about how the reader interacts with the family outside of the steamy scenes and i thought this would be a fun way to explore it. that being said, there’s still plenty of smut at the end where jimmy finally gets the reader all to himself ;) links → masterlist / taglist tags → daddy kink, dom/sub lifestyle, unprotected piv sex, degradation, dirty talk, begging, spanking, hair pulling, crying, possessive behavior, jealousy, cuddling, and fluff, jimmy likes to be called sir (change my mind)

Movie Night 

The living room was in an uproar. The three brothers were arguing, all of them standing off in front of the TV as they continued to talk over each other. It didn’t help that they all spoke with their hands, gesticulating wildly as they continued to bicker. You could hardly make out the words amidst the chatter, each sentence louder than the last. 

“I done told you we ain’t watchin’ that shit, uce! I hate that fucking series.” 

“What’s wrong with Halloween, man? You nothin’ but a hater!” 

“You picked last time anyway! Why don’t you sit yo’ ass down and shut the fuck up for once!” 

“At least I got some taste! What ‘bout you? Always pickin’ the longest fucking movie ever and then complainin’ when everyone falls asleep. I should snatch that damn remote out yo’ hand!” 

You rolled your eyes, moving back to the microwave to check on the popcorn. You were the only one in the house who wouldn’t burn it. You watched with an amused expression as Sami moved to your side, his eyes still glued to the conflict in the living room. 

“Are they always like this?” 

You chuckled. “Just for movie night. They take it very seriously.” 

Sami made a sound of agreement, watching as Jey grabbed a blanket from one of the couches and hurled it at his twin’s head, who dodged it with ease. 

“Ha! I see yo’ aim ain’t improved since college!” 

“Aye, you better watch yo’ mouth!” 

Sami’s eyes moved to where Roman sat near the balcony door, his hand covering his face in annoyance as the boys continued to yell. 

“And Roman just…let’s it happen?” 

You shrugged. “If he gets involved they just yell louder. But don’t worry, they just need to get it out of their system. Once the popcorn is done they’ll calm down.” 

Sami didn’t seem convinced, frowning as Solo snatched the remote from Jimmy’s unsuspecting hand. 

“Hey! You ain’t slick - give that back!” 

“Don’t nobody wanna watch that shit, uce. Your picks always suck!” 

“Oh you one to talk! Whatchu wanna watch tonight? The Notebook?” 

The bickering continued, Roman leaning his head back against the chair to stare at the ceiling in exasperation. You couldn’t hide a smile as you pulled the popcorn from the microwave, motioning for Sami to hand you a bowl. 

“How on earth do they ever decide on a movie?” Sami asked, his eyes flickering back to the living room in concern as Jimmy tackled Solo to the couch, both of them fighting for control of the remote. 

“They don’t.” You replied.

Sami still seemed confused. “Then how-?”

“Just watch.” 

You turned off the kitchen lights, handing the bowl of popcorn to Sami, before moving into the living room. 

The boys were still wrestling on the couch, Jey now getting involved as he placed his younger brother in a headlock. The yelling was so loud you knew you’d get a noise complaint from the neighbors. Again. 

With a practiced ease, you approached the couch, avoiding the flurry of limbs, and deftly plucked the TV remote from Solo’s hands. They didn’t even notice, Solo now using his feet to fend off Jimmy. Now irritated at his younger twin’s intrusion, Jimmy decided to lunge for Jey who let out a creative string of expletives as his brother tackled him off the back of the couch and onto the floor. 

Roman let out a long-suffering sigh, watching with a growing irritation as the twins knocked over a lamp in their tussle. 

You threw a cheeky wink to Sami who was watching the scene unfold with horror. “Watch this.” You cleared your throat, speaking loudly over the yelling. “Oh no! Who am I going to sit with for the movie?” 

You watched with amusement as the yelling instantly stopped, the three brothers scrambling to return back to their seats. You raised an eyebrow as Jimmy kicked his younger twin to the side in an effort to make it to his seat first, his eyes innocent as he looked back at you. 

“You can sit here, baby.” Jimmy cooed, patting his lap. “It’s right here waitin’ for you.” 

“Man, shut up!” Jey snapped, taking his seat beside his twin. You were impressed at how quickly he switched from irritated to begging as he gave you his best puppy-dog eyes. “You can sit wit’ me, sweetheart. Come on, you know you want to.” 

You glanced over at Solo who had taken a chair of his own, now glowering at his older brothers with his arms across his chest. 

You turned back to Sami who was staring at you. “See?"

You took the popcorn bowl from a still surprised looking Sami, popping a few pieces in your mouth as you turned back to the brothers. “I don’t even know why you’re arguing. You know we’re still watching the Scream movies in order, right? Aren’t we on the third one now?” 

The brothers frowned, looking at each other. Clearly they’d forgotten. 

You sighed. “Well, you’d better get comfortable. I’m about to start it.” 

Jimmy and Jey scrambled to pick up the blankets and pillows from the floor, still looking at you expectantly in the hopes that you would choose them as your designated seat for the night. Solo, ever the wise one, didn’t even try, knowing full well what your intentions were as he settled into his chair. 

You couldn’t help but press a kiss to Solo’s forehead, watching as the irritation melted from his face, his eyes now sparkling with fondness as he looked up at you. 

You turned to Sami. “Sit wherever you want, hon. But don’t engage in the arguments about horror movie tropes. It only encourages them.” 

“Horror movie tropes…” Sami seemed bewildered. 

You waved a finger at the twins. “You got a lot of nerve. Making a mess of this house and expecting me to sit with you. And in front of Sami too? He’s gonna think we’re animals or something.” 

The twins at least had the decency to look embarrassed, both of them fidgeting under the mountain of blankets they’d accumulated. You made a pointed look to the lamp they’d knocked on the floor and Jey quickly returned it to the table, offering you a sheepish grin. 

You rolled your eyes, making your way over to Roman’s chair who had been watching you with unconcealed pride. You were the only ones who could wrangle the brothers without making a scene and he made a pleased sound as you climbed into his lap, offering him some popcorn as you curled up against him.

The twins began to protest, still staring at you with pleading puppy eyes, but a sharp glance from the Tribal Chief quickly silenced them. You chuckled, pressing a kiss against Roman’s neck just to watch the twins stare in jealousy. 

You held out the bowl to them. “Popcorn?” 

Prank Wars

Monday

It started with Jimmy. Of course, it started with Jimmy. He’d decided to hide behind the shower curtain to scare Jey one afternoon after a workout. 

You hadn’t known about it in advance, but you were sure that was calculated. Jimmy knew you would have stopped him.

It wasn’t because you hated fun (although you knew Jimmy would disagree). You loved a good prank as much as the next person. The problem was that pranks were never just pranks with the Samoans. They always escalated and once it started it was difficult to stop. The last time the brothers got into a prank war it had taken months to finally come to a truce. 

You’d been in the living room with Solo, curled up in his lap as you both read the newest Stephen King book.

“Are you ready to turn the page?” You asked, already reaching up to do so before he snatched the book away. 

“No, I’m not ready to turn the page!” Solo grumbled with a frown. “You read too damn fast.” 

You chuckled, a clever retort already on your tongue before you heard Jey’s bellow of alarm, followed by Jimmy’s maniacal laughter. 

You and Solo were quick to abandon the book, making haste to the twins’ shared bathroom to see what all the commotion was about. 

“What the actual fuck, man?!” Jey’s tone was indignant, completely naked as he fumbled with the towel he’d dropped in surprise. 

Jimmy was too busy cackling, pointing childishly to his brother’s naked form. 

“You should have seen your face!” He crowed, doubling over with laughter. 

Jey already looked pissed, but once he saw you and Solo in the doorway his face went crimson. You let out a sigh, Jimmy’s loud laughter still echoing against the tile of the bathroom. There was a glint in Jey’s eye and you knew that this was just the beginning. 

He was already plotting his revenge. 

Tuesday 

You didn’t think Jey would retaliate so quickly, but you couldn’t say you were surprised. Once the prank war started, things always got out of hand. 

Roman and Paul were out, but the rest of you were in the living room eating dinner. Sami was sitting next to you on the couch, his leg pressed against yours as he showed you a video on his phone while Solo and Jimmy were talking. Meanwhile, Jey was leaning back in his chair, apparently scrolling on his phone. 

Things seemed normal. Calm. 

Jey eventually put his phone down and returned to his salad, easily joining the conversation with his brothers. 

Nothing out of the ordinary. 

Eventually Jimmy’s phone started to ding. You didn’t think anything about it at first, but the notifications kept coming, his phone continuing to light up and vibrate as more and more messages came in. 

Jimmy noticed, setting down his bowl to pull his phone from his pocket. “The fuck?” He muttered, his fingers tapping on the screen to see what all the commotion was about. 

“What is it, uce?” Jey’s voice held a teasing note and you were immediately suspicious. 

Sami’s phone started to vibrate as well and you saw a few notifications pop up at the top of his screen, all of them from Twitter. 

@CodyRhodes Looks like someone played too hard last night! 

@AustinCreedWins Posting this online is diabolical 

You watched as Sami clicked on them, pulling up a photo of Jimmy in bed asleep, a spoon hanging from his mouth and a cup of chocolate pudding in his hand. The caption read ‘Big bro caught lacking again’ and already had 800 likes, despite only being posted 3 minutes ago. 

“Are you fucking serious?” Jimmy’s voice was scathing, his eyes narrowed as he looked up at his brother. 

Jey’s smile was smug. “Hope it was worth it, uce.” 

It was taking all of your willpower to avoid laughing, but Sami wasn’t helping, already covering his mouth to hide his giggles. 

Jimmy sucked his teeth. “That’s cute.” He said, his eyes fiery. “But weak. You can’t do better than that?” 

Jey shrugged, taking an innocent bite of his salad while you and Sami watched more notifications come in. 

@RandyOrton 😴🍫

@FightOwensFight So this is why he’s slow as hell in the ring

Jimmy was typing furiously on his phone, still scowling. You saw Sami’s finger hover temptingly over the retweet button, casting you a conspiratorial glance.

“I’m not sure you want to get involved.” You whispered.

“Oh, come on.” Sami whispered back. “It can’t be that bad.” 

“Did you change the fucking password to our Twitter account?” Jimmy’s voice was outraged and Sami quickly turned off his phone, the temptation gone. 

Meanwhile Jey just sat there and smirked. 

Wednesday 

Soft sunlight filtered through the bedroom window, warming your cheek and slowly rousing you from slumber. You could feel Jey’s strong arms wrapped around you, his breath tickling the back of your neck as he kept you pulled close to his chest. You let out a contented sigh, snuggling closer to him and smiling as you felt him lean up to kiss your temple. 

It wasn’t uncommon to wake up in someone else’s bed. You weren’t picky about where you slept and you tried to be fair, giving each of the brothers an equal amount of attention. Jey made it hard though. He was quick to whisk you away to his bedroom, often doing his best to monopolize your time whenever the Tribal Chief was gone or busy.

“Mornin’,” He rumbled, his voice still heavy with sleep. 

“Morning.” You echoed, twisting around to face him. He always looked so beautiful like this, his brown eyes half-lidded and sleepy as he offered you a lazy smile. 

“Sleep good?” He murmured and you nodded, smiling as he pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. 

You quickly shied away, covering your mouth. “I don’t think you want all this. I haven’t brushed my teeth yet.” 

Jey’s smile was a burst of sunshine. “I’ll survive.” 

You relaxed as he kissed you again, his lips impossibly soft. You let out a hum of contentment and he pulled you closer, his hands warm against your bare skin. But when he moved his leg up to wrap around yours he immediately stopped, breaking away from the kiss to frown. 

You stared at him. “What is it?” 

Jey moved his leg around underneath the sheets, his brow furrowed. “This bed feel wet to you?” 

Now it was your turn to frown, moving your legs around beneath the sheets to feel for yourself. The sheets did feel damp, especially near your feet. 

You both leaned up at the same time to look and you couldn’t suppress a scream when you saw what was at the end of the bed. 

It was a lobster. 

A living, moving, wet lobster. The fucker was huge, rubber bands around his claws and his beady eyes staring at you. You continued to scream, pulling your legs up to your chest and pressing yourself against the headboard. Jey was so startled, both by the lobster and your screams that he jerked back, sitting up so quickly that he lost his balance. He fell off the bed, pulling the sheets, and the lobster, with him, where they landed on the floor with a loud thump!

You had enough courage to lean over the side of the bed and stare at Jey who was now sprawled out on the floor, his eyes wild. 

“Jesus fucking Christ!” He swore, yanking at the tangled mess of sheets and blankets to look for the lobster, who was now drowning in a sea of cotton. 

You heard the source of the laughter before you saw it, Jimmy’s guffaws giving away his position in the bathroom. He was crouched in the doorway like a gremlin, a shit-eating grin on his face as he continued to point and laugh at his brother. 

“Oh my god, that was fucking priceless!” Jimmy could hardly get the words out, his smile so wide you could see all of his teeth. “I should have gotten that on video!” 

Solo and Sami were quickly in the room, summoned by your screams and Jey’s cursing. Solo looked worried, though the worry quickly shifted to annoyance at the sight of his older brother laughing hysterically. Sami just looked confused. 

“What happened?” He asked, his eyebrow raised at Jey. “What are you doing on the floor?” 

Jey hurled a pillow at him. “You think I’m just chillin’ here, uce?” He snapped and Sami looked like he was trying not to laugh. 

“Where is it?” You asked meekly. 

“Where’s what?” asked Sami. He took a step forward and you raised your hand in a panic.  

“No! Not another step!” You shrieked. “There’s a lobster in here!” 

Sami immediately jumped back, staring at the jumbled sheets on the floor in confusion. There was a beat of silence before he finally said, “There’s a what in here?” 

“Got it at the store this morning!” Jimmy sounded far too pleased with himself. “And if she hadn’t been in here,” He pointed at you. “I would have put it next to your face!” 

Jey quickly stood, uncaring that he was naked or that there was a lobster somewhere lost in the room. He launched himself at his twin, the two of them tumbling to the ground, while Solo stared up at the ceiling in exasperation.  

Thursday 

Roman had insisted they take you out somewhere nice tonight. They had a big show tomorrow and you knew it would be some time before all of you could spend time together again. You were thrilled by the suggestion, smacking a huge kiss onto Roman’s cheek in your excitement when he’d told you the news. 

It was the nicest restaurant in town, though you weren’t surprised. The Tribal Chief only took you to the finest places - nothing but the best for his girl. Roman had ensured that the seven of you had a private room, far away from the press and fans who seemed to follow them everywhere. 

You sat beside Roman and Jimmy, watching with a smile as Paul told a particularly entertaining story about his ECW days. 

You noticed Jimmy shift next to you, as if he were uncomfortable, reaching a hand up to tug at the collar of his shirt. 

You leaned into his side. “Hey, you alright?” 

Jimmy met your gaze with a distant smile. “Hm? Oh, yeah. It’s nothing.” 

But clearly it wasn’t nothing. Jimmy continued to fidget uncomfortably, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead. He seemed unsure of what to do with his hands, often tugging on his shirt or pants while trying to be discreet. You leaned over, about to question him again, but he quickly got up and excused himself before you could, hardly tossing a backwards glance your way as he made a beeline for the bathroom. 

You furrowed your brow in confusion, though the confusion was quickly cleared up when you met Jey’s triumphant gaze. He’d done something to his brother, that much was obvious, but you weren’t sure what. 

You felt Roman’s hand on your thigh and you were reminded that the Tribal Chief knew nothing about the pranks going on between the twins. He hated them even more than you did and you knew that he would disapprove of the shenanigans, especially since he knew how quickly they escalated. 

“Did Jimmy get lost?” Sami finally asked when Jimmy failed to return to the table. You were the only one to notice Jey’s smirk, though he quickly hid it by taking a sip of his drink. 

“This is supposed to be a family outing.” Roman grumbled, his hand tightening against your thigh. You were quick to reassure him. 

“I’m sure he’s fine,” You cooed, taking Roman’s hand in yours and rubbing your thumb across his knuckles. “Maybe he’s just feeling a little under the weather.” 

Jimmy didn’t return to the table until well after the food arrived, his copper cheeks flushed red. You noticed that his forehead was still shining with sweat as he continued to fidget uncomfortably in his chair. 

You reached out to take his hand and give it a squeeze, but he only offered you a weak smile in return. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” You whispered and Jimmy nodded quickly, focusing on his food to avoid your concerned gaze. 

Eventually Jimmy’s fidgeting caught Roman’s attention. “What’s your problem?” The Tribal Chief demanded, causing Jimmy to drop his fork in surprise. The entire table went silent, everyone staring. Jimmy seemed flustered. 

“Uh…nothing, uce. Whatchu mean?” Jimmy tried to play it off with a weak chuckle but was failing epically. 

“Why can’t you sit still?” Roman’s tone was scathing. “We’re supposed to be out enjoying ourselves and you’re acting like it’s torture for you. Is going out really that big of a problem?” 

“What? No!” Jimmy seemed alarmed. “No, I’m good, uce. I just think I might be allergic to our laundry detergent or something.” 

Jey snorted in amusement but he quickly returned to his food when Roman looked at him. 

You pressed a sweet kiss to Roman’s cheek. “It’s fine, baby,” You murmured, hoping to distract him from his growing irritation. “I’m having a good time. Did you enjoy your food?” 

Roman gave one more annoyed look to Jimmy before he turned back to you, his gaze softening as he answered your question. 

Jimmy slouched in his seat, relieved to no longer be under the Tribal Chief’s scrutiny, though he threw his twin a dirty look. Jey ignored him, resuming his conversation with Paul and Solo while Sami looked on with interest. 

Eventually the dinner concluded, the seven of you walking back out to the parking lot. You stayed by the Tribal Chief’s side, though you didn’t miss Jimmy grabbing his brother’s arm, hissing into his ear, “What the fuck did you do to me?” 

Jey’s grin was devious. “Did you know you could buy itching powder online? Me neither. Glad to see it worked so well.” 

Jimmy was seething. “I’m gonna fucking kill you.” 

But Jey just laughed. 

Friday 

The twins were in the living room, both of them lounging exhaustedly after a particularly brutal workout. They wanted to be sharp for the show tonight, especially since they were defending their tag team titles. You watched appreciatively as Jey leaned back in his chair, his crop top riding up to reveal his toned stomach and his long legs stretched out in front of him as he leaned back to close his eyes. Jimmy looked equally delicious, manspreading on the couch with his phone in hand, his long hair tied up in a bun. 

You stopped in front of them, clutching your back with a bit more drama than you usually did. 

“Oh, god,” you moaned, rubbing your lower back as if you were in pain. “What the hell have I done to it?” 

The twins materialized at your side, their hands immediately on you. 

“You alright, pretty girl?” Jimmy seemed concerned, his hands warm as he reached under your shirt to feel the muscles of your back. You hissed dramatically as he touched you and Jey took a step back. 

“What is it?” Jey asked, his tone worried. He was reaching for his phone. “Do I need to call one of the trainers up here?” 

“No, no.” You waved your hand dismissively. “No, I think I just need you to pop my back.” 

The twins had done it a million times before, their strong arms able to lift you with ease to pop your back whenever you had pain. 

Jimmy’s arms were around you instantly, pulling you backwards against him so he could lift you. 

“Ready?” he asked and you nodded. 

He lifted and your feet left the ground. That’s when you did it. You’d hidden two pieces of uncooked pasta in your teeth and you quickly bit down on them as Jimmy lifted you up, simulating the sound of bones cracking. 

You immediately went limp, closing your eyes as you allowed your body to collapse. 

“What the fuck?!” Jey’s voice was panicked, someone’s hands on you to keep you from falling to the floor. You felt a warm hand cradling your neck, someone’s breath against your cheek. 

“Oh my fucking god!” Jimmy’s voice was equally panicked, his hands roaming you. “I didn’t…I didn’t think I-” 

“What the hell did you do?” Jey bellowed, more hands on you as the two shuffled above your limp body. 

“Babe, open your eyes!” Jimmy sounded distressed. “Oh my god, what the fuck…” 

You didn’t actually want to torture them so you quickly opened your eyes with a wide grin. The twins were kneeling over you, both of them staring down at you in a weird mixture of shock and panic. 

“Surprise!” You garbled, spitting out the uncooked pasta just to watch the twins’ eyes widen in realization. “I’m not dead!” 

Jimmy’s mouth fell open. “You…”

“What the actual fuck?” Jey demanded, still angry and running high on adrenaline. “Why’d you do that?” 

You sat up, trying to suppress your laughter. “To prove that pranks are stupid.” You told them, giving them a knowing look. “And to beg both of you to stop with the prank war before someone really does get hurt.” 

Jimmy closed his mouth, his pupils still dilated from the near heart attack you’d almost given him. Meanwhile, his twin was still huffing and puffing, his brow furrowed as he looked down at you. 

There was a beat of silence and you stood up, the twins quickly following in suit.

“I mean it.” You told them, your gaze at them now serious. “The last time you got involved in a prank war you almost burned down a hotel and wasted hundreds of dollars on a cement truck. Hell, I don���t even know what the cement truck was for. All I know is that we don’t need to go in that direction again. You're both even now. 2 for 2. So let’s agree to just end it here. Okay?” 

There was a long silence. The twins looked at each other, then back at you. You could tell they didn’t want to, but you refused to give in, raising an eyebrow at them. 

“Okay?” 

The twins finally nodded, though they still refused to look at each other. You frowned. 

“Good. Now hug it out.” 

The twins stared at you incredulously, already beginning to protest. 

“Come on…we agreed to stop, ain’t that enough?” 

“I ain’t gonna hug Mr. Ugly, are you crazy?” 

You held up your hand. “Hug it out or no blowjobs for a week.” 

The twins’ arms were around each other so fast you couldn’t help but laugh.

Game Night

I ain’t ever playing wit yo’ cheatin’ ass again! 

Cheating? Just admit you suck, uce. 

You one to talk. Didn’t Solo take half of yo’ last paycheck? 

Oh, you got jokes now, huh? Rich comin’ from you after Roman done took every penny to your name. 

How ‘bout I come over there and knock that disrespect out yo’ mouth? 

That was how poker night had ended last time. Had the Tribal Chief not intervened, the twins would have come to blows right there in the living room. After pulling them apart, Roman had sworn up and down that poker was officially banned and that they would not be doing this again. 

Unfortunately, Roman was full of shit. 

It didn’t matter how horrible the last poker night ended, they would still somehow always end up back here: gathered around the dining room table, beers in hand, and loud music in the background. No matter how strict Roman pretended to be he was just as weak as his cousins when it came to gambling. You couldn’t be sure exactly why, though you suspected that it might be because he was actually good at it. He almost always won, no matter how hard his younger cousins worked to take his money. 

Even now as he kept you perched in his lap, his hand curled possessively on your thigh, you could see him holding the winning hand. You couldn’t help but smile, leaning back to pepper his neck with kisses. You heard his chuckle rumble in the large expanse of his chest, his lips soft as he kissed your cheek. 

“Come on, y’all. We ain’t doin’ dinner and a show.” Jimmy’s words were annoyed, but his tone was playful as he eyed you in his Chief’s lap. You saw the way his eyes traveled down to your exposed breasts, his eyes filled with want. He was waiting for you to give up Roman’s lap for his. Which you had considered. But for now you were more than happy to stay in the Tribal Chief’s lap, his hands warm against your bare skin. 

“What do you think, pretty girl?” Roman asked, his tone knowing. “Should I raise?” 

You grinned up at him, nuzzling against his soft beard. “Mm hm. I think so, Daddy.”

“Well, you heard her, boys.” The Tribal Chief said, pushing his chips to the middle of the table. 

You watched as Jey frowned, his eyes scanning his own cards. You’d told him a million times to work on his poker face but nothing ever changed. He still wore his heart on his sleeve, every thought still on his face no matter how hard he tried to hide it. It was one of the things you loved about him, even if it did cause him to lose every hand of poker he ever played. 

Solo, on the other hand, was a professional. His stoic nature was both his weapon and his shield. In all their years of playing poker together, Solo was the only one to ever take any serious cash from his older cousin, much to Roman’s chagrin. Perhaps he’d win again tonight, his stony face giving nothing away. 

While Jimmy was certainly better than his twin at hiding his emotions, he had tics - dead giveaways that you were quick to learn. His cocky attitude wasn’t nearly as effective as his younger brother’s stoicism and you could always read his eyes, no matter how much bravado he put on. 

Sami was a bit more difficult to read. He was new to the game and he had been timid so far, folding every chance he got without taking any real risks. You wondered what Roman thought about it, though you didn’t get a chance to ask, his hand slapping your ass to urge you up. 

“Grab me another beer, will ya, baby?” 

The Tribal Chief’s words were commanding and you were eager to obey. “Yes, Daddy.” You murmured, pressing another kiss to his cheek before heading to the kitchen. 

You tried to suppress a smile as the entire table leaned forward to watch you walk away. Roman really thought he was slick, but you knew him too well. He’d used you as a distraction. And his family had fallen for the bait. 

You weren’t sure exactly what happened while your back was turned, but you heard a loud cacophony of groans and yells, no doubt indicating that the Tribal Chief had won. Again. 

“Man, this some bullshit!” 

“Jesus, we can’t catch a single break.” 

“Damn, Sami, you gonna do somethin’ tonight, or what?” 

“Hey! I’ve been dealt nothing but crappy cards!” 

You returned with the Tribal Chief’s beer, smiling as he kissed your knuckles in gratitude. He didn’t urge you to sit back down in his lap, which you took as a sign that he was comfortable with you offering your attention elsewhere. 

You looked up and immediately met Jimmy’s hungry gaze again. He’d been waiting for you for a while now and you knew you couldn’t deny him, making your way to his side and allowing him to pull you into his lap. 

His arms were wrapped around you instantly, his lips attached to your neck as he pressed kisses there. You couldn’t help but giggle, your laughter causing him to smile against you. 

“Sweet girl,” he murmured. It was his favorite thing to call you. “Love it when you sit with me.” 

You leaned back against him, pulling your legs up to curl contently in his lap like a lazy housecat. “Love it when you hold me.” You returned, nuzzling into his beard as he leaned forward to grab the cards that Solo had dealt. 

You didn’t miss the way Jey’s eyes flashed over to you, his emotions once again written all over his face. He was jealous, despite the fact that he had bent you over the kitchen counter no more than an hour ago. The man was insatiable. You couldn’t help but chuckle at the younger twin, throwing him a cheeky wink just to watch him squirm. 

“Yeah, that’s right,” Jimmy’s voice was smug. He’d noticed his twin’s jealousy too. “Got the prettiest girl in the world in my lap, don’t I? Too bad she don’t wanna sit with you.” 

A splotch of color dotted Jey’s cheeks. “She only sittin’ with you ‘cause you need a handicap.” He grumbled, causing Jimmy to throw back his head and laugh. 

“Don’t be mean,” You chided Jimmy, your fingers curling in the soft fabric of his shirt. “Or else I’ll get up.” 

Jimmy’s grip tightened against you. “Oh, you ain’t goin’ anywhere, babygirl.” His words sent a shiver down your spine. 

He held up his cards to you but you didn’t care much about them, opting instead to press your face to his chest and close your eyes. 

You heard the others talking amongst themselves, but you felt lost in Jimmy’s touch, practically purring as he stroked your soft skin. You felt him slide his hand down your thigh, his hand resting dangerously close to your already leaking pussy. You felt your breath stutter, instinctively opening your legs just a little further to grant him access. 

To the table, Jimmy announced, “Call!” and threw some of his chips into the pot. Meanwhile, his hand continued to creep further between your legs, your eyelids fluttering at the feeling. And when he found the wetness there it took all of your willpower not to moan lest you distract from the game. 

“Still soaked, baby?” Jimmy had been the one to catch Jey fucking you in the kitchen. “Or is it just me that you all wet for?” 

You reached out and grabbed his wrist, holding it like a lifeline. “Just…just you.” You stuttered, your hips instinctively pushing back to find the erection Jimmy was hiding in his sweatpants. 

Jimmy chuckled, still completely in control as he dipped his fingers in between your folds, playing with you. 

“Call.” Solo said gruffly, his eyes meeting yours across the table. He was always so difficult to read, but you could have sworn you saw the barest twinkle of amusement in his eyes as he looked on, knowing exactly what his older brother was doing to you under the table. 

“Five.” Roman put in his bet. Sami folded. Jey raised. You leaned further into Jimmy’s touch, forcing yourself to keep still as one of his long fingers reached further down to tease at your empty hole. 

“What do you think, sweetheart?” Jimmy asked you, but you were playing a different game, pressing open-mouthed kisses to his neck as he kept his movements slow between your legs. Jimmy chuckled darkly, his lips brushing across your forehead. 

“Guess I’ll call then.” 

He leaned up to place his bet and you felt his erection dig deeper into your backside, your pussy spasming at the feeling. Jimmy smirked against your shoulder as he pressed a kiss there, his breath warm against your ear. 

“Such a needy little thing,” he cooed, keeping his voice low as his brothers began to argue. “Need me to take care of you, baby?” 

You nodded into his neck, your cheeks flushed as you met the Tribal Chief’s amused gaze. He seemed entertained watching you try to sit still in Jimmy’s lap, his eyes traveling down to where Jimmy was keeping a possessive grip between your legs. He smirked at the sight and you wondered exactly what he was thinking. 

The final card came out and you glanced at Jimmy’s hand. He had nothing. 

Still, the older twin’s face gave nothing away, his fingers continuing to glide through your soaked folds as he kept you close. You could feel warmth pooling at the base of your spine, goosebumps exploding across your skin as Jimmy’s beard brushed against the back of your neck. 

There was a silence around the table and you realized that someone had asked Jimmy a question. They wanted to know if he was still in. 

Jimmy chuckled against your ear. “I’ll let our pretty girl decide.” His finger dipped into your leaking hole and you couldn’t take it anymore. 

“He folds.” 

You heard laughter from the rest of the table as you grabbed Jimmy by his shirt and dragged him to the closest bedroom, though you didn’t miss the way Jey’s eyes followed the two of you, his expression hungry. 

Jimmy kicked the door shut behind you, still chuckling as your frenzied hands tugged his clothes from him. 

“Need me that bad, honey?” He sounded smug and it would have annoyed you if it didn’t turn you on so fucking much. 

“I do,” You were too horny to be embarrassed about how desperate you sounded. “Need you so bad.” 

Jimmy’s eyes darkened at your words and before you realized what was happening he was picking you up with ease, throwing you onto the bed. 

His body was on yours in an instant, his lips latched onto your neck with such ferocity that you felt your back arch at the feeling, the pain and pleasure sending more warmth between your legs. 

You felt his cock nudge against your entrance and your legs parted easily for him, soft whimpers falling from your lips. 

“Such a slut for me, ain’t you, baby?” 

You nodded, willing to agree to anything if he would just fuck you right now. Jimmy leaned up to look at you, his chain dangling above your nose. 

“Beg me to fuck you.” He commanded, ignoring your gasp of surprise as he flipped you onto your stomach with ease. “Beg me to fuck you and if you sound pathetic enough maybe I’ll consider it.” 

He was so full of shit. He was just as desperate as you, his cock rock-hard as he pressed against your backside. Still, you didn’t hesitate to obey, every thought in your brain focused on him. 

“Please, sir, please.” You begged, the honorific rolling off your tongue with ease. You knew it drove him crazy. “Please fuck me, sir. I need it. I need you.” 

Jimmy chuckled darkly, landing a harsh swat against your ass just to watch you jump. 

“Keep going. I want to hear more.” 

You wriggled your hips pathetically beneath his strong hands and he smacked your ass again. “Don’t be greedy,” he admonished, his voice rough. “Keep talkin’, slut. Let me hear it.” 

You looked over your shoulder at him, desperate tears forming in your eyes. His eyes were dark, looking far too close to a predator surveying his prey, and you shivered. 

“Please, sir. I need you to fuck me.” You sniffled, arching your back to present yourself to him. “I need you to claim me. Make me yours. Please, sir, I need it so bad.” 

The tears started falling and Jimmy seemed pleased. 

“Good girl,” he cooed, his cock beginning to push through your soaked folds. “It’s alright, baby. I’ll give you what you need. And you need it bad, don’t you, honey?” 

You nodded, letting out a hiss as he pushed deeper into you, your body struggling to adjust to his size. 

“Jesus, you stranglin’ my cock, little girl.” Jimmy groaned, placing his hand between your shoulder blades to push you down into the mattress. His fingers dug into the soft flesh of your hips and you knew it would leave bruises. “So fucking tight. Practically sucking me in.” 

You whined beneath him, your body beginning to tremble with need as he filled you so perfectly. 

He bottomed out and you almost sobbed from pleasure. You could feel him brushing against that sweet spot inside of you, this angle keeping him lodged so deep that you felt it in the back of your throat. 

“Sir, please-”

You could hardly get the sentence out before Jimmy pulled out and slammed back into you, the movement so rough that you felt yourself being shoved back into the mattress. 

“Yeah, that’s it, slut,” Jimmy moaned, his hips picking up speed as he thrust into you. He reached out and tangled his fingers into your hair, yanking at it so that your back could arch even more against him. “Take it all. You can do it, baby. I gotchu.” 

His sweet words, so at odds with the brutal way he was fucking you, sent you into a haze, pleasure spreading across your body like wildfire. 

Jimmy slapped your ass again and the sharp pain had you moaning, your pussy spasming around his massive length. 

“Oh, you like that shit, huh?” Jimmy’s words were scalding you from the inside out, your cheeks burning as he continued to tug on your hair. “Like it when I rough you up?” 

You tried to nod but Jimmy’s grip on your hair made it impossible. Jimmy laughed and the sound was mean. 

“That’s okay, baby. I can give you whatchu want.” 

He shifted the angle of his hips and you let out a strangled scream, his cock now hitting your g-spot with devastating accuracy. A few more slaps against your ass had you crying, the pleasure so good that it was threatening to overwhelm you. 

“Please, sir.” You sobbed, barely able to keep your eyes open as he continued to hammer into you. “Please, can I come?” 

“Come on this dick, slut.” 

You lost all control of yourself, your muscles tensing as the powerful orgasm wracked your body. Jimmy’s tight grip on your hair kept you from fully collapsing on the bed, your pussy continuing to spasm and convulse around Jimmy’s massive cock.

“That’s it, baby,” he gasped, his hips stuttering against yours. “Such a good girl.”

He pulled out so suddenly that you choked on a sob, your body shivering at the sudden feeling of emptiness. Jimmy smacked your ass one final time before he came, thick ropes of come painting your ass and thighs. 

Jimmy let out a contented sigh, slowly releasing his tight grip on your hair to allow you to collapse onto the bed.

"Shhh, it's alright, honey," Jimmy cooed, moving to your side so he could kiss your forehead. "You did so good, baby."

You felt goosebumps prickle at your exposed skin, shivering again as your body came down from its high.

Jimmy noticed, quickly wiping you down with his discarded shirt so he could cover with you a blanket, crawling beneath the covers to join you.

You let out a sigh of your own as Jimmy pulled you close, the feeling of his strong body beneath you keeping you grounded. Jimmy continued to whisper sweet praises in your ear as he stroked your hair, his lips soft as he kissed your tear-streaked face.

Jimmy suddenly looked around, as if he were just now figuring out his surroundings. "Ain't we in Jey's room?"

You looked around too, letting out a small huff laughter at the realization. "Looks like it."

"Hm. He ain't gonna be happy about that."

You smiled, pressing adoring kisses beneath Jimmy's jaw. "He'll get over it."

_____________

next part: valentine's day (solo)

previous part: bloodline property (part four)

besties: @mindairy @amandairene88 @askullasunflower @acute-crashout-jeyuso @partypoison00 @brianochka @femdisa @luvrsluxe @zephyrazzz @scorpiochaos @gardencottage

[radawaycunt]

Bacchanalia

Also on AO3

Pairing: Lucius Verus Aurelius x Fem!Reader

WC: 2.2k words

Summary: At one of Rome's debauched celebrations to the god Bacchus, you and a handsome, masked stranger have a little celebration of your own.

Warnings: MINORS DNI this fit is 18+, smut, porn with no plot, implied orgy (it's happening in the background somewhere lmao), masquerade type setting, oral (m and f receiving), shenanigans with wine, fingering, unprotected p in v (you better not try this at home), creampie, swearing, aaaaand I think that's its but lmk if anything else lol

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The atmosphere was heady, perfumed with sweet violet, myrtle, and the musk of sweat-slick bodies. The air was thick and smoky with incense, giving the vast room a dreamlike quality. The warm flicker of candlelight casted long shadows of writhing forms on the walls, moans and other sounds of ecstasy drifting to your ears as you passed by a couple of curtained siderooms. 

Still, nothing really seemed to pique your interest enough to get involved. At least, not yet.

It wasn’t your first Bacchanalia, so you already knew what to expect, but you were even more thrilled at the fact that everyone was wearing a variety of different masks. Even the naked servants carrying trays of wine did not show their faces. Pleasure did not always need a name, after all. Without it, one could be whoever they chose, if only for a few hours. 

Your mask was meant to represent Diana, lunar goddess of the hunt. You walked slowly and deliberately through the halls of the estate, doing exactly that, except you weren’t entirely sure what you were hunting for.

You passed an archway that led to the gardens and saw a couple of lovers playfully chasing each other in the moonlight, wearing the faces of nymphs and satyrs. You huffed with amusement, leaving your empty cup on a passing servant’s tray and continuing on your way.

Your eyes skirted past Jupiter who was clearly trying to get your attention, but his disappointment was short-lived as Juno came to lead him away. You sighed, following an instinct that led you down another hallway across the atrium.

And suddenly, rounding the corner, you saw a stag at the other end of the hall – or at least, a man who wore the mask of one. The two of you seemed to spot each other at the same time, freezing on the spot. Time seemed to condense into just that moment, while you assessed one another.

He was tall and statuesque, built like the beautiful Adonis. He wore a loose, artlessly draped toga, revealing most of his lean, muscled torso. The thought of him wrapping those strong arms around you, lifting you or wrangling you into different positions, immediately came to mind. As if he could sense your thoughts, he smiled, an eager invitation to make fantasy into a reality. 

You huffed once again in amusement, curiosity finally overtaking you. Like you, he didn’t seem to be accompanied, but that was all the better in your eyes. Something about him seemed to stir your greediness, unwilling to share the bounties of your hunt.

You pantomimed retrieving an arrow from a quiver at your back, notching it to an invisible bow and drawing it back, then releasing it with a splay of your fingers. He reeled back as if struck, clutching the imaginary wound on his chest and falling to his knees.  Your chin was raised triumphantly as you stalked towards him, looking down to see a pair of crystalline eyes staring back at you through the holes in the mask.

There was a spark of mirth in them, reflecting your curious desire. You grabbed his bearded chin with one hand and leaned in,  your eyes drawn down to the slight heave of his chest. A smirk pulled at the corner of your lips.

“Got you now,” you said, voice low. “Come with me, my trophy.”

You turned to lead him away, glancing back flirtatiously as you let your tunic slip off your shoulder. He scrambled to his feet, following behind as you searched for an empty side room. You beckoned him into the first one you found, slipping inside, and he took some wine from a passing servant before joining you.

The room was darker than the hallway, with only a few candles illuminating one side of it. You let your tunic fall to the ground just as he entered,  warm light flickering over your skin. He stood there for a moment, stupefied at both your beauty and your boldness. He felt himself the tribute to an actual goddess, blood already boiling even if he hadn’t even touched you yet. 

He approached, raising the cup of wine to your lips so you may drink. His free arm snaked around your waist, pulling your body flush against his. Instead of drinking some himself, though, he raised the cup above your heads and poured the rest of the wine on both of your chests. You gasped, taken by surprise, and he tossed the cup aside carelessly.

He buried his face in the crook of your throat, licking the droplets that had spattered there as you pulled at his toga, clumsily undoing it. His eager tongue lapped at your clavicles and sternum, moving down to the swell of your breasts. But before he could get there, you pushed him back only to get your mouth on him, too.

The wine tasted even sweeter on his skin, especially when you heard the soft little moan in his throat. Unable to resist, you bit one of his pecs, tongue swirling around his nipple. He sucked in a breath, kicking aside the fabric of his toga as it fell to his feet.  He gently tugged your head back by your hair, his lips meeting yours ferociously.

You weren’t sure if your head swam from the wine or the kiss, but you submitted to it all the same. His arms enveloped you once more, his tongue dragging over yours, eliciting a soft mewl from you. You felt a sort of frenzy overtake you, the impulse to devour him whole threatening to consume you. Especially as there was a rather pressing distraction between you, bumping against your navel.

You cupped him in your palm, smiling against his lips as his breathing hitched. “Someone’s excited.” 

“H-how could I not be?” he rasped, head tilting back as your lips went back to his chest. “Who else can say they’ve been ravaged by the fierce Diana herself?”

You chuckled, flattered at his words. “No one, of course.”

You left a trail of searing, open-mouthed kisses leading downward until you were on your knees in front of him. You kissed one hip bone and then the other, repeating the teasing process with his thighs. His erection pulsed in response, demanding attention. In the low candlelight, you could see a glistening bead of precum on the tip of it, lightly smearing near his belly button.

You flattened your tongue and licked the underside in its entire length. He shuddered, thigh muscles clenching as he resisted the urge to guide your head. You teased the tip with a few kisses, swirling your tongue around it and tasting his arousal. You gripped the base as you took it in your mouth, his deep groan nearly giving you goosebumps. 

One of his hands hovered just behind your head as it bobbed up and down, taking more and more until you could feel the tip at the back of your throat. He murmured expletives, his eyes screwed shut. But before he could get too close to the edge, the muscles of his lower abdomen already tense, he pulled you back by the hair as he bent to kiss you. 

His tongue invaded your mouth, tasting traces of his precum. Given the mess you’d been making of him, a debauched string of saliva connected your lips as he pulled back slightly to look at you. You grinned, biting your lip, your hand still stroking him. He placed a hand over yours to keep it in place, drawing in a long breath.

“Not like this,” he husked, caressing your cheek with the back of his hand. “Let me have my turn.”

You slightly tilted your head to one side and nipped at one of his fingers playfully. You could feel your own arousal drip onto the floor, more gathering between your thighs. The least he could do was help clean you up.

“Come here, then,”  you said, rising. 

You had him sit on the floor, his back against the wide couch on the other side of the room. You drew closer, practically cornering him, and propped a foot on the edge of the couch by his head. You enticingly slipped your fingers through your slick folds, feeling his hot breath against your cunt as he lifted his head.

“Fuck,” he groaned, tongue tracing your inner thigh, followed by his teeth. “Sweeter than wine…”

“And there’s more where that came from,” you rasped, fingers threading through his hair so you could press his face against your cunt. 

He lapped you up with gusto, using lips, and tongue, and teeth to savor you properly. He gripped your leg for support, keeping you in place at the same time. Your head tipped back as a moan was wrenched from your throat, your hand keeping a tight hold on him. Absently, he stroked the head of his cock ever so slowly, keeping himself teetering on the edge. But he wanted to save it for the best part, when he’d be buried deep inside you, your bodies melding into one another.

Your hips rocked back and forth against his face, seeking the added friction. He moaned against you, feeling like he could stay there for hours, drawing out your honey and worshipping you. Quick little flicks of his tongue against your clit make heat spiral upwards from your navel, your legs beginning to tremble.

You held onto his head as a choked sound escaped you. You gushed on his tongue as you came, a few more erratic drags of your hips to fully ride it out. Your cunt clenched around nothing, achingly empty, but not for much longer. You were still dazed when he decided to take over control, grabbing you by the hips and turning you around to bend you over the couch. 

One of his hands pressed your head against the mattress, keeping your hips hiked up. You leaned into his touch as you felt him palming the swell of your ass, making you squeal a little as he bit the supple flesh. He teased the entrance of your cunt with the tips of his fingers, humming pensively.

“Seems like you’re more than ready for me…” he purred, a teasing edge to his tone. “Shall we try it out? Hmm?”

You could only nod desperately, hips wiggling as he pulled back to situate himself behind you. He dragged the head of his cock through your folds, coating himself in your slick, and lined himself up with your entrance.

“Nice and slow,” he said, pushing inside. “That’s it. Oh, you see how you’ve got me? How I’m aching for you?”

You gripped the cushion under you, nearly overwhelmed by the delicious stretch that bordered between pain and pleasure. He felt impossibly deep at that angle, hitting a spot that had your eyes rolling to the back of your skull.

“Gods,” you mewled, voice tight. “You’re so big.”

He chuckled, the sound melting into a low groan as he kneaded your ass with his hands greedily, spreading you to get a better look at his cock sliding inside your cunt. “And yet you’re taking me perfectly well.”

He was in no rush at first, keeping his thrusts shallow until you grew more accustomed to him, enjoying the velvety warmth that enveloped him. You pushed your hips back to meet his thrusts, his grip on them tightening. He was trying hard to stave off his growing pleasure, but you felt so good that he knew he wouldn’t last too long. He murmured praises as the snap of his hips became faster, obeying your pleas to go harder.

“Give me another one,” he pleaded in return, leaning more of his weight on you, pinning you down. “I want to feel you properly this time.”

You didn’t have much choice but to take it as he pounded into you, rough, feral noises escaping him every time he bottomed out inside of you. Your teeth sank into your forearm as you came apart a second time, dark stars dancing across your vision. 

He husked an encouraging ‘there we go, there’s a good girl’ close to your ear as he felt you clenching around him, pulling him along into oblivion. He stayed buried to the hilt on his last stuttering thrust, his grip on your hips bruising as he filled you with his spend.

His hand rested on the back of your neck like a mark of ownership, his cock twitching once more at the imagery. But you both needed to recover your strength first, and so he collapsed on the couch as you rolled over onto your side.

You looked at each other for a moment, sharing a soft, exhilarated laugh. He pulled you closer, one arm draped over your waist. In any other instance, with anyone else, this sort of intimacy with a complete stranger would seem off. But there was something about him that made it feel almost natural, and therefore you welcomed it.

“Who ravaged who, in the end?” You joked, making him chuckle once more.

“Let’s call it a tie for now,” he said, fingers tracing your back. “After all, we still have plenty of time to decide who the real victor is.”

You huffed, tracing his lips with your thumb. “Something tells me you think it’s going to be you.”

“Well, if there’s one thing you should know about me,” he said, nipping at your thumb. “It’s that I don’t like to lose.”

“Oh, is that so?” You countered, pushing him onto his back and grinning like the cat that got the cream. “As it happens, neither do I.”

--------------

[alexlwrites]

𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒏𝒐𝒕

✿𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: Jungkook x Reader

✿ 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒂𝒓𝒚:  The one where everytime you get dumped you pretend that you never met the guy before to mess with their heads. To the point that if you run into them somewhere you reintroduce yourself and act like you’ve never seen each other before.

Enters fuckboy Jungkook who disappears after your night together, not knowing how much he was about to regret that choice.

✿ 𝑻𝒂𝒈𝒔:  Romance, Humor, Fluff, Angst, College AU

✿ 𝑨/𝑵: thank god this has been ready for months for my ko-fi crew because i have serious writer's block and everything i touch becomes garbage - like an anti-midas, one might say

(Fanfic masterlist)

(support me on my ko-fi)

°•. ✿ .•°

𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫 - 𝐆𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐦

(<<< part three)

“I need a good reason.”

“If you need a good reason to do something, then maybe you should consider not doing it.”

After your not so friendly get-together the previous night, Jungkook had gone home with a pounding headache and a heartburn he refused to associate with disappointment, choosing instead to blame it on the half sweet, half savory atrocious bucket of popcorn he inhaled between sobs.

A good reason. Where on earth would he find one of those? He had never needed much more than “because I want to” to justify his antics, and life seemed to work out just fine when he just kept following his every whim with little to no justification.

Your words had sent him once more into a philosophical spiral that had him questioning his very existence - funny how you seemed to be able to do that with such ease, unblinking and unflinching with a self satisfied smirk. At the height of his college age, Jungkook now needed to find a reason to do things? A good one, at that? Preposterous. 

And so, as he usually did in moments of great distress and moral conundrum, Jungkook seeked the help of his wisest friend, who certainly would be able to guide him to the right decision.

Yoongi was hunched over a duct-taped laptop when Jungkook found him, with eyes swollen and bloodshot like he hadn’t known sleep or peace in his past three lives. His shirt was covered in unidentifiable crumbs and his fingers permanently bent in a keyboard-caused claw, but Jungkook knew that under that goblin-like music production major appearance, hid a well of decades-old knowledge.

“I need a good reason to want to go out with this girl.”

Yoongi paused his typing to stare at his younger friend. “You… What?”

“I want this girl to go out with me and she said I need a good reason.” Jungkook repeated like it made the matter any clearer.

“And what is your current reason to go out with her?”

“Spite.”

“Right, of course.” Honestly, at that point, Yoongi should’ve known better than to expect anything else from his dongsaeng. 

“What is a good reason to go out with a girl?”

“Because you like her?”

Jungkook thought about the constant urge to rip out his hair and stab himself with a spork when you were around. “What else?”

“That’s pretty much all I ever needed.”

“Well, how do you know if you like a girl?”

“Aren’t you a bit too old to be asking that? Have you never had a crush on someone?” 

“Does Jessica Rabbit count?” 

Yoongi did not answer, just stared open mouthed at his friend who never ceased to surprise him. He was way too tired and way too swamped with assignments to truly begin to comprehend the depth of the psychological damage those questions indicated. Was this the result of being too loved at home, he wondered? Did Jungkook’s nice childhood build him no character? 

“When you’re with a girl” Jungkook continued, not bothered by his friend’s concerned astonishment “what are the things that make you think damn I really like her?”

Shrugging, Yoongi turned back to his wheezing laptop, deciding that it was best not to give much thought to whatever shenanigan Jungkook had brewing. He had learned that it was best to get involved as little as possible when it came to his schemes. “I don’t know, is she hot?”

You were scorching. When Jungkook first ran his fingers through your thighs in a soft caress that had goosebumps rising, he didn’t expect to find your skin so warm to the touch. Your presence enough was verging on stifling, but your weight on top of him and your blackberry-tasting lips pressed against his had him lightheaded and gasping for air, palms tingling from where it met your skin. You on his lap were an all encompassing experience that surrounded his senses. He felt you everywhere and the way you grinded down on him before separating slightly had him whining not unlike a desperately thirsty man in a desert. This is ambrosia, he thought, a term he learned from you.

When he looked up at you, everything intensified and he had to hold back the urge to buck up his hips and push you down on him. Your skin glistened and your lips were swollen from his bites, pupils twice the normal size. He allowed his hands to travel up your body, from where your thighs spilled from your shorts up to your abdomen, feeling the muscle spasm underneath his touch and your hips twitch when he climbed higher, reaching underneath your shirt in a way that had you falling back onto him, searching for his kisses as he pinched your…

Jungkook coughed, fixing his pants and shifting uncomfortably. “Well, yes” he answered at last.

Yoongi continued “Is she smart?”.

“What 's this?” Jungkook asked, poking around your coffee table as you took off your shoes and set your keys in a ceramic bowl.

“A book” you said smiling. “Are you not familiar with the concept?” 

“Haha” he laughed sarcastically. He flipped around the book, only interested in it due to the golden foil in the cover. “Are you… Enjoying it?” He tried to make small talk, unsure how to approach you now that you’ve reached your apartment after an hour-long make out session in the back seat of his car that had him harder than a brick.

You reached out, taking his hand and guiding him to your couch, long nails tracing lines on his palms “Yes, I am. It gives an interesting perspective on how mortality impacts our behaviours.”

He blinked rapidly, too distracted by your touch and the sight of you in those shorts sitting so closely once more. “Right” he agreed absentmindedly “mortality, sure. It impacts… What?”

You laughed and even though it was at him, he could tell it was one of those rare non-mean spirited laughs that he didn’t get the chance to see often and that softened your face into something that twisted his stomach into perfect boy-scouts knots.  

“Think of The Eternals, right? That Marvel movie. They live forever. Imagine seeing humanity through their eyes” your hand kept drawing patterns up his arms, voice soothing as you traced his biceps and Jungkook felt as if he was being hypnotized. “Imagine watching these beings tear themselves apart about things that, to you, last a little longer than a blink. Do you feel pity? Curiosity?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“I would feel jealousy.”

“You would?”

“Yes” you climbed on his lap, digging your fingers into his long hair and Jungkook thought it was the weirdest seduction technique ever, lecturing him about ephemerality while grinding down on his bulge, but goddamnit it was working. “When you live that long, you lose sight of how precious it is to actually live, because you watch things die with such unnerving frequency. What importance do your actions have if you outlive all the consequences?” Jungkook wouldn’t know how to answer that even if you weren’t kissing his neck, leaving him distracted and incapable of coherent thoughts, more so than usual. “If you’re mortal, time and death and decay give you a constant sense of urgency that intensifies everything and” you peck your way up to his lips and by then Jungkook is unable to identify your words “if you can die at any given moment, you have to enjoy things while they last.”

“So?” Yoongi called, waking Jungkook from his daydream.

“Oh, yes. She’s smart” he said. “Way too smart, actually, like, it might be a problem.”

“Maybe she’s the one that needs a good reason to be with you then.” Yoongi smirked as Jungkook flipped him off “Is she nice?”

Jungkook scoffed “No.”

“Is that why you like her?”

Jungkook felt like that answer would give his psychoanalytic friend too much ammo, so he remained quiet.

But kind of, yeah.

Wait…

Yoongi smiled, cheshire-like “So you do like her.”

“No!” The younger man denied “I’m just… I don’t know, intrigued! She’s hot, rude, smart, weird and hates my guts…”

“Sounds like one hell of a woman. Have you given her any reason to hate you? Actually, never mind, I know the answer to that.”

Jungkook didn’t have it in him to be offended. His friend was right. 

“Look, man, I’m not gonna validate whatever weird thing you’ve got going on with this girl. I have enough hanging over my head without the probable gnawing guilt. If you like this girl, really like her, you already have enough of a reason.” 

“But is it a good one?”

“That’s not up to me, is it?”

***

Jungkook decided that he was going to spend a weekend focusing on other matters. You had taken over his mind and schedule and he needed a break to think about something besides your smirk and demands. So he visited his parents, who lived less than an hour away and decided to join them watching his little sister’s soccer game in his old middle school in an attempt to clear his head.

Minha, his sister, wasn’t particularly gifted in the sport, but, much like her brother, she was driven and dedicated to everything she set her mind to. And, as it was the curse of all younger siblings, she was filled with unimaginable violence and anger, knocking down other little girls like a WWE fighter. 

Yeah, Jungkook didn’t know where she got that from. But it was amusing to watch the little ankle biter mow her way through the field and yell at the referee until the tired middle aged dad volunteering that day threatened her with a yellow card.

When the game ended in a close call victory to her team, he stepped out from the bleachers to meet her, avoiding the throng of small children on his way to congratulate his sister. When he got there, he was greeted by the one sight he was hoping to avoid on his weekend of peace.

You.

More importantly, you, hugging Minha while wearing a bigger version of her team’s jersey. You were crouching down to her level, saying something he could not hear while petting the girl’s hair, a kind smile he had never seen hanging from your lips that died as soon as you noticed him.

But before you could say something, Minha ran to her brother, climbing up his arms like she did when she was much younger. “Kookie!” she greeted “What are you doing here?”

“Came to see your big victory, Champ” he said, messing her hair affectionately. “Y/N” he greeted carefully.

You nodded with a tight lip smile “Jeon.”

“You two know each other?” Minha asked, gesturing to be put back on the ground.

“We go to the same school, Min.” you answered, noticing the similarities between the both of them to make an educated guess. Siblings. Of course your favorite little gremlin was related to your least favorite gremlin. 

“The same school? But you’re so much smarter than him!”

Jungkook sighed as you held back your laughter “Yeah, yeah. At least I’m not stinky like you. Don’t you have a shower to take? Hit the lockers, mom and dad are waiting for us.”

His disrespectful sister gave him a look before leaving that she could only have learned from you. “At least I know what deodorant is. You still don’t!” 

Jungkook sometimes wished he were an only child, but he knew that would’ve caused even more irreparable damage to his personality.

“She’s cute.” you commented, picking a backpack from the floor.

“The cutest” he agreed sardonically. “What are you doing here?”

“I volunteer as one of the managers to the girl’s team on the weekend.”

Taken aback, he asked “Why?”

“Because I want to?”

“Like, voluntarily?”

“That is what volunteer means, yes.” you started heading to the exit as he followed you absentmindedly, almost without noticing. “Despite what you might believe, I don’t enjoy torturing young girls.”

“Just grown men.”

“You consider yourself grown? Interesting.” You paused, as if considering if you should share something or not. “When I was a little girl, my team got booted because there weren’t enough staff for the girl’s sports. I didn’t want it to happen to this one and I needed the extracurricular hours. Plus, I’m the youngest of three. It’s nice to be the big sister for once.”

Jungkook thought of the booger picking, 4 feet bully he shared parents with. “I don’t know if nice it’s the word I would use.” 

“Well, for me it is. I like looking after these girls and I don’t want their hobbies to be taken away from them just because no one seems to care as much when it’s women kicking the ball. They deserve the chance to become good.”

You seemed so passionate about the subject that Jungkook refrained from commenting that some kids had a bit of work before they came even close to good. Even so, he was glad Minha had you and sad that he didn’t step up for his little sister like you did. 

“Is she nice?” Yoongi had asked and Jungkook replied readily. But now, watching you fix the little girls’ hair and help them with their shoes, he wasn’t so sure. 

Clearly, the problem wasn’t that you were nice. You just weren’t nice to him and the weight of knowing he did nothing to deserve you niceties started setting on him.

Maybe he really did need a good reason. But maybe, just maybe, first he had to be good himself, and he wasn’t so sure he had been. And watching you greet his own parents with a winning smile while handing them his little sister’s bag made him wonder how he could become at least good enough.

°•. ✿ .•°

✿ My taglists are open! Click here to be added <3

[midnight-shadow-cafe]

Oh how I love your writing soooo soo much 🫂🧿

I had a request

Prank wars with taskforce 141, i bet the reader ropes soap into her shenanigans every time and both end up in lots of trouble.

Operation: Prank Wars

Pairing: Task Force 141 x Reader (Poly)

Warnings: Prank wars, chaos, friendly sabotage, Soap being an agent of mayhem, reader being his accomplice, Simon suffering in silence, John pretending he’s above it all, Kyle enjoying the show, and revenge being sweet.

Author’s Note: You and Johnny are the worst (or best?) duo when it comes to pranks. This is pure chaos, filled with playful sabotage, and everyone getting their turn in the crossfire. Hope you enjoy the madness!

Summary: It started with something small—just a harmless prank. But when you and Johnny team up to take things further, Task Force 141 is thrown into an all-out prank war where no one is safe.

Masterlist

MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+

It started as a tiny prank. Just a little bit of salt in Simon’s tea, nothing serious. You had done it absentmindedly, stirring the cup with the most innocent expression you could muster before sliding it over to him.

He took a sip. Paused. Then slowly, his head turned towards you.

“You do realize this means war,” he muttered, setting the mug down with the kind of slow precision that made your stomach flip.

Across the room, Johnny was already laughing, smacking his knee as he pointed at Simon. “Oh, she got you good, mate!”

Simon’s gaze flickered toward him, unimpressed. “You think this is funny, MacTavish?”

Johnny wiped a tear from his eye and grinned. “Hilarious.”

The next morning, your tea tasted like hell.

You spat it out immediately, coughing as you shoved the mug into Johnny’s hands. “He got me back!”

Johnny took a sip, only to gag and nearly drop the cup. “Bloody bastard put vinegar in it,” he wheezed. “Oh, it’s on now.”

And thus, Prank Wars 141 officially began.

——

The first phase of the war was harmless. Simple things. Sugar swapped for salt. Sticky notes covering Kyle’s entire locker. Simon’s boots mysteriously disappearing right before morning training.

Kyle got involved after he walked into his room to find it completely rearranged. Bed upside down. Desk moved to the closet. Clothes hanging from the ceiling.

“I know it was you,” Kyle grumbled as you sat at the table, casually sipping your drink like you weren’t involved. “You and Soap.”

You batted your lashes at him. “Me? I would never.”

Kyle narrowed his eyes. “You two are insufferable.”

“I’d say we’re innovative,” Johnny grinned, slinging an arm around your shoulder.

Two days later, Kyle got his revenge. Your shampoo mysteriously turned into hair dye—temporary, thankfully, but still a shocking neon pink.

Johnny had laughed so hard he nearly passed out, until he realized his shampoo had been swapped too.

Now you were both pink.

Kyle leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed as he smirked. “What was that about being innovative?”

Johnny scowled at his reflection in the mirror, running a hand through his now vibrant locks. “Oh, he’s a dead man.”

You crossed your arms, determined. “We’re getting him back.”

——

John had tried to stay out of it, but it was inevitable. The moment you and Johnny set up a very elaborate trap involving a tripwire and a bucket of ice-cold water, things took a turn.

It was supposed to hit Kyle.

It got John instead.

He stood there, completely drenched, water dripping off his beard as he inhaled deeply.

Johnny was gone, running before John could even process what had happened. You, however, were frozen in place, suppressing laughter.

John wiped his face, exhaled slowly, and fixed you with a look that sent a chill down your spine. “You two better start running.”

You bolted.

Later that night, Simon sat beside you on the couch, his hand resting on your thigh as he watched you fidget.

“You really pissed him off this time,” he murmured, fingers tracing lazy circles against your skin.

You pouted, leaning into his side. “He wouldn’t really kill me, right?”

Simon huffed a quiet chuckle. “No, but he’ll make you suffer.”

Johnny, sitting across from you with his arms crossed, scowled. “We just need a better plan. Something foolproof.”

Kyle, lounging next to you, smirked. “You do realize every time you two try something, we’re all gonna hit back harder?”

You shot him a glare. “It’s a risk I’m willing to take.”

Simon squeezed your thigh gently, leaning down to murmur in your ear. “You’re relentless, love.”

You turned your head slightly, brushing your nose against his. “You love it.”

Johnny groaned. “Oh, get a room, you two.”

Kyle smirked, nudging Johnny. “Jealous?”

Johnny scoffed, throwing an arm around your shoulders. “Nah, because I’m her real partner-in-crime.”

You leaned into him with a grin. “Damn right.”

Simon shook his head, but there was amusement in his eyes.

——

The final straw came when you and Johnny accidentally filled Simon’s entire room with balloons. It was supposed to be John’s, but a slight miscalculation (i.e.: Johnny miscounting doors) led to Simon opening his door and being buried in a sea of latex.

Kyle lost his mind laughing.

John muttered something about retiring early.

Simon just stood there. Silent. Unmoving.

“…Mate?” Johnny hesitated.

Simon stepped forward, very deliberately popping a balloon under his boot. The sound was deafening in the quiet hallway.

“Oh, sh—” you started.

“Run,” Kyle whispered.

You and Johnny ran for your lives.

——

Somehow, some way, the four of them got you back in the worst way possible. You woke up the next morning to find yourself duct-taped to Johnny, both of you stuck together in a ridiculous tangle of limbs.

Kyle leaned against the doorway, arms crossed. “Told you we’d get you back.”

Simon, standing beside him, nodded. “Play stupid games… win stupid prizes…”

John, sipping his coffee, smirked. “Enjoy your morning, love.”

Johnny groaned. “This isn’t over.”

You huffed, glaring at your very smug boyfriends. “I hate you all.”

Kyle leaned down, kissing your forehead. “Sure you do, sweetheart.”

Simon pressed a kiss to your temple. “This was inevitable.”

John patted your head, looking all too pleased with himself. “Next time, don’t prank the man who sleeps with a knife under his pillow.”

Johnny flopped back against the bed with a dramatic sigh. “We’ll get ‘em next time, lass.”

And so, the war continued.

Hope you enjoyed! Please consider liking and reposting! -Midnight💜

[pucksandpower]

Of Roomates and Revenge

Lewis Hamilton x fake girlfriend!Reader

Featuring Max Verstappen, Lando Norris, Charles Leclerc, Pierre Gasly, Esteban Ocon, and Nico Rosberg

Summary: in which your search for a free place to stay leads to helping one half of Brocedes live out his petty fantasy for revenge … and falling in love while doing so

Cat and Apartment Sitter Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1500/week plus all the Red Bull you can drink

I’m a world-traveling young professional who is rarely home. My two beautiful and rambunctious bengal cats need someone to stay with them in my Monaco apartment whenever I’m away for work.

The ideal candidate will be an experienced cat person who is prepared to deal with a lot of energy, chaos, and shenanigans from these two little terrors. They knock everything off every surface, wrestle at 3am, and will likely attempt to smother you while you sleep. If you can handle that, we’ll get along just fine.

In addition to caring for the cats, you will need to keep my place relatively tidy (i.e. no crushed Red Bull cans or fast food wrappers everywhere), collect any packages or mail that arrives, and randomly turn a few lights on and off every evening so the neighbors don’t get suspicious.

The position is ideal for a mature student, digital nomad, or someone between living situations who wants an amazing place to stay for free in one of the world’s hotspots.

Drop me a line if you think you can handle the cats from hell and wouldn't mind living in a 230 m² penthouse apartment with a private terrace, floor-to-ceiling windows, and a badass view of the Mediterranean. Preference goes to non-smokers who follow directions well and won’t throw ragers when I’m gone.

Send a brief intro, your experience with cats, and a couple photos attached. Urgently need someone for various stretches starting mid-February.

Do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers.

Live-in Cactus Caretaker Needed (Monaco)

Compensation: €1000/week, free snacks, and you can play my Xbox

I’m a young dude who’s rarely home because of my job that involves a lot of international travel. I have a single cactus plant that I promised my mum I would keep alive until she visits again. The thing is ... I have absolutely no idea how to care for plants. Like, I nearly killed it the first week by forgetting it existed.

What I need is someone responsible who can essentially live in my swanky Monaco apartment whenever I’m gone and keep my tiny cactus friend alive.

Duties would include:

Watering the cactus like ... once a month? Twice a month? I don’t know how often it needs water

Not letting the cactus die in any other way (pretty sure they need sunlight too … I think)

Keeping the place tidy (I’m a bit of a mess)

In return, you’d get:

A sick apartment all to yourself with a stunning view, giant TV, and full kitchen (please for the love of god be careful in there ... I almost burned the place down trying to make a grilled cheese once. Seriously, I'm not exaggerating. I almost went up in flames over a silly sandwich. If you can't even operate a microwave, we may have problems. There’s only room for one idiot like that in Monaco — and it’s me)

Unlimited snacks/drinks from my well-stocked pantry

Free rein over my gaming setup (just don’t break anything)

First dibs on any events/reservations I can’t make

The ideal person is responsible, shows they can follow basic instructions for cactus care, laidback since you’ll be alone a lot, and trustworthy enough not to wreck the place or throw illegal parties. Having a green thumb would be great, but frankly if you can manage not to kill the one plant, that’s good enough for me.

Send a brief bio about yourself and your qualifications as a cactus/housesitter if interested! I’m gone quite frequently starting in February so could use someone ASAP.

No scammy offers or soliciting, please!

Roommate Needed to Drink Wine and Listen to My Woes (Monaco)

Compensation: Free rent in a nice apartment, plus all the wine you can drink

Are you a good listener? Do you enjoy dry red wines and occasional bouts of tears and venting? If so, I’ve got the perfect living situation for you!

I’m a youngish guy with a high-stress job that involves a lot of traveling. When I’m home in Monaco, I tend to unwind by polishing off a couple bottles of nice Bordeaux or Burgundy while complaining about work, my colleagues, and my rival who is giving me really mixed signals.

What I need is a roommate who doesn’t mind a little drunken blubbering here and there.

You’ll get:

Your own bedroom in my spacious 2BR/2BA apartment in the La Condamine district

Rights to my kitchen, living room with large TV, piano, and music recording equipment

Access to the building’s pool, sauna, fitness center, and lounge areas

As much wine as you can drink (and more)

In exchange, you’ll be expected to:

Listen to my periodic rants and rave sessions without judgement

Preferably nod along or offer supportive-sounding feedback like “Yeah, that’s really tough man” or “Wow, they sound terrible”

Refill wine glasses as needed

Maybe rub my back or pat my head if I’m really going through it

The ideal candidate is a decent human being who can empathize with the high-pressure struggles of a young professional trying to make it in a cut-throat career.

You’ll need a decent amount of free time and lots of patience. Prior experience as a life coach, therapist, or sympathetic drinking buddy is a plus.

If you can handle crying guys after a few too many glasses of Châteauneuf-du-Pape, inquire within! Include a little about yourself and why you would make a good non-judgmental wine friend. Merci!

Expand Your Search? Similar Opportunities:

Impartial Referee Wanted for Parking Lot Brawls (France)

Compensation: €400 per event

Two athletic young men in their late-20s are looking for a level-headed third party to oversee and officiate their semi-regular parking lot boxing matches. Yes, you read that right — we’re talking straight-up fisticuffs in the back alley behind the Circuit Paul Ricard.

A little background: We’ve been frenemies/rivals since we were kids — constantly competing in friends, employment opportunities, you name it. There’s a healthy amount of hatred between us that simply can't be resolved through words alone. Every few months, we feel the need to just take out our pent-up aggression on each other's faces.

Up until now, it’s been an unregulated shitshow with no real rules or oversight. We’re looking for someone impartial who can:

Set some fair ground rules around where/how we can strike

Ensure no prop weapons get involved (last time he tried to scalp me with a wrench)

Officiate and declare a winner once one of us is knocked out or quits

Ideally have some basic first-aid skills in case of a nasty cut or broken nose

We will pay €400 cash at the start of each bout. You’ll get a free show of two extremely fit dudes wailing on each other until there’s a clear victor.

Loser exits with his tail between his legs, winner gets to gloat for the next couple months until we run it back.

If you can be a neutral third party and aren’t squeamish about a little blood, send us your info with some details about yourself and your experience resolving conflicts (legally or not). First come first served — our next fight is tentatively scheduled for mid-May!

No flakes or perverts, please. Serious connoisseurs of violence only.

P.S. Don’t be scared to give out penalties (one of us is used to that)

Actor or Actress Needed to Annoy Ungrateful Ex-Friend (Monaco)

Compensation: €2700 per week, free luxury accommodations

I’m a successful guy in my late 30s looking to hire someone to pretend to be my significant other for a few months. Before you get the wrong idea, let me explain ...

I had a major falling out with a former best friend who stabbed me in the back years ago. We live in the same apartment building, just one floor apart.

I’m trying to show him how amazing my life still is without him … and maybe make him jealous in the process.

That’s where you come in. I need you to move into my penthouse temporarily and act as my gorgeous new boyfriend/girlfriend.

Your main duties would include:

Loudly introducing yourself to said ex-friend by knocking on his door and being line “Hi, is [insert my name] here?” Then pretend to be embarrassed and apologize when he tells you that you’re at the wrong apartment

Hang out in the hallway near his place and have very loud fake conversations detailing our imaginary passionate nights together (rated R)

Post cringy coupley photos on your social media of us dressed up going out, cuddling on my yacht, etc

Ideally you’re an aspiring actor/actress or just a really convincing liar. Being somewhat loud and dramatic is a plus. You’ll need to be willing to play along if my petty ex-friend tries to confront us.

In return, you’ll be living in a lavish penthouse with all the amenities for free. You’ll have your own private suite and can hang out on the oversized balcony, by the pool, or in the media room when you’re off the clock. Might also be able to introduce you to some high-profile people if you’re trying to network.

Oh, and my bulldog will provide plenty of cuddles.

If you can pull off a remarkably realistic fake partner act and aren’t afraid of a little light deception, hit me up! Please include a couple photos plus a bit about yourself and your acting experience. Aiming to start mid-April.

I’m an equal opportunity employer — girlfriend, boyfriend, nonbinary partner, you name it. All genders welcome to apply for the role if you’ve got what it takes! Only preference is that you have especially luscious hair … for reasons.

No weirdos please.

Hi,

Okay, I have to admit — your ridiculous request to hire a fake girlfriend to make your ex-best friend jealous is quite possibly the pettiest thing I’ve ever heard. And I absolutely love it.

I’m literally the perfect person for this role. Petty vengeance is my middle name (well, not really, it's actually Y/M/N ... but you get the idea).

A little about my qualifications:

Took some theatre electives in university so I can really sell the dramatics

Lots of experience putting on an Oscar-worthy performance faking ... well, you know ... thanks to my douchebag ex-boyfriend who couldn’t be bothered to learn how to pleasure a woman 🙄

Not afraid to get LOUD and will happily reenact our “passionate nights” at earsplitting volumes in that hallway

Can pull off playing dumb if your friend tries to interrogate me about you (“Oh [whatever your name is]? Yeah he’s just the best at ... stuff”)

No shame in my pettiness game — I once spent my weekly paycheck on a Cameo just so an ex’s favorite celebrity would call him a dingleberry

In terms of looks, I’ve been told I have just the right amount of “hot” to make your poor pal jealous without it being too unbelievable. I’m attaching a few photos for reference.

Let me know if you want to meet up for a glass of wine and we can workshop some juicy storylines for our imaginary romance. Perhaps I was a former fling you rediscovered? A hot younger thing giving you a new lease on life? The possibilities are endless!

I’m a pro at faking it, so selling our relationship will be a piece of cake. Your ex-friend will be bright green with envy by the time I’m through!

Let’s make him regret the day he double-crossed you, babe.

Cheers,

Y/N

r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 16h

My ex-best friend’s new girlfriend is the WORST!

I really need to get this off my chest. My upstairs neighbor’s new girlfriend is, without a doubt, the most insufferable human being on the planet. She’s loud, obnoxious, and seems to take immense pleasure in tormenting me for some reason.

A little background: I used to be really close friends with my neighbor. We had a big falling out a while back over ... well, it’s a long story. We don’t talk anymore and there’s a lot of resentment between us. Clearly the universe is trying to get back at me now with this new girl.

This chick has made it her personal mission to give me a play-by-play account of every single intimate encounter she has with him. And I mean DETAILED accounts. The other day I was just trying to enjoy my morning coffee and I hear her incredibly shrill voice from right outside my door:

“Oh he was an ANIMAL last night! The things he did with his tongue, I thought I was going to pass out!”

Like, seriously? Keep it to yourself, weirdo! That’s just the tame stuff too. Sometimes she’ll go into pretty graphic detail describing body parts and positions that I really didn’t need a mental picture of.

Here’s the thing — she quite obviously positions herself to be as close as possible to my apartment without actually trespassing — I mean, she doesn’t even live on my floor for god’s sake! So every word comes through crystal clear. I’ve confronted her about it a few times and she just plays dumb, like:

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry if I was being loud! We just get so carried away sometimes, you know how it is,” with this stupid ditzy valley girl voice and hair toss.

I don’t know if my former best friend put her up to this or if she’s just a massive troll in her own right. But it’s like psychological warfare at this point. Literally ANY time I’m home, I have to listen to her yap about their Sex Olympian-level escapades.

My wife even heard them once and thought I was playing porn at an insane volume! She doesn’t believe me that it’s just this deranged lady running her mouth constantly.

I’m half-tempted to start recording her rants and blast them back at full volume to give them a taste of their own medicine. Or maybe start describing lurid details of my own (admittedly not quite so colorful) sex life in retaliation.

I don’t know, maybe I’m being oversensitive. But living under these two insufferable assholes is a waking nightmare. I need to move or something because this is massively affecting my peace of mind. Who knows if they will ever get bored of tormenting me and move on.

Rant over. Thanks for letting me vent about the neighbors from hell.

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u/chronicgossiper · 12h

Damn, that sucks man. Your neighbor and his gf sound like immature assholes trying to get a rise out of you. I’d look into noise complaint options or even see if you can get them evicted for harassment.

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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 11h

Seriously? You really think the landlord would evict someone over this? It’s not like they’re blasting music at 3am. Sounds more like passive aggressive pettiness than anything illegal.

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u/chronicgossiper · 10h

Idk, having to listen to people loudly describe their sex acts against your will seems like it could qualify as harassment or creating a hostile environment. Worth exploring at least if they won’t stop.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 9h

Eviction isn’t really an option here since we all own our apartments and there’s no landlord dictating that. It’s not that type of building.

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u/nosyandproud · 8h

Did your former friend move into that building first or did you move in knowing he lived there?

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u/NotBritneySpears · 7h

He was there first, I bought my place a few years after him when I could afford it. Never expected he'd pull something this childish.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 6h

So you willingly moved into the same building as your ex-best friend that you aren’t on speaking terms with? That’s just asking for drama, dude.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 5h

It’s a great building in an amazing location. I wasn’t going to not pursue the opportunity just because he lives there too. It’s a big place, I didn’t think we’d be running into each other much.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 4h

Still seems like a weird decision to willingly insert yourself into his orbit like that if the relationship was so fractured. Probably should’ve seen some fallout coming.

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u/nosyandproud · 3h

Yeah exactly, why would you move somwhere your ex-friend lives if you two clash that much? Kinda put yourself in this situation.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 2h

Okay, let me be clear — he and I were best friends for over a decade before we had a colossal falling out a few years ago. We’re not just some casual ex-buddies who don’t get along. We were legitimately very close for most of our lives until things went nuclear between us. When I decided to move into the building, our friendship had been over for a while already. I really didn’t anticipate he’d take things to this vindictive level years later. I’m not going to miss out on my dream home just because of what happened between us.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 1h

This is getting juicyyy, do tell about what caused the falling out!

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u/NotBritneySpears

Not really trying to dredge up old drama, that’s a whole other can of worms. The girlfriend situation is annoying enough as is.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 51m

Fair enough, you gave context. Still think you two need to have an adult conversation about boundaries. Purposely trying to loudly narrate their sex life at you is unhinged.

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r/relationships

u/yourusername · 19h

I’m catching real feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend to get revenge on his ex-friend ... help?

Buckle up folks, because I’ve got one hell of a tangled situation to unpack here. This is going to be a long one.

About a month ago, I responded to this Facebook Marketplace ad from a guy (let’s call him L) looking to hire someone to pretend to be his new girlfriend. The goal was to make his former best friend/downstairs neighbor jealous after a brutal falling out between them.

I know, I know, it sounds ridiculous. But the benefits were good and I’d be living in his insane luxury penthouse in Monaco rent-free. More importantly, I really vibed with L’s pettiness and desire to get deliciously pathetic revenge on his ex-friend. My last boyfriend was the actual worst, so I was absolutely here for any slightly insane Karen antics.

Anyway, we hit it off immediately at the “audition” over drinks. L is brilliant, successful, gorgeous, and fucking hilarious in a sarcastic, unfiltered way. We both have a wicked mean streak and frankly get off on emotionally messy situations. It was like looking into a mirror — two beautiful trainwrecks finding each other in the wreckage.

From night one, we had crazy chemistry. The back-and-forth banter was electric, we finished each other’s sentences, etc. I felt so comfortable around him despite the bizarre circumstances. I assumed it was all fun and games to toy with his former best friend.

But over the last few weeks of loudly chronicling our “sex marathons”!outside said ex-friend’s door and doing phony coupley things around the city, I’ve realized my feelings are ... complicated. L and I CONNECT on a deeper level, in addition to just being partners in crime. We’ll be tangled up watching movies and he’ll make some perfectly timed quippy comment that has me cackling until my abs hurt. Or we’ll get deliriously wasted and end up baring our souls about our upbringings, dreams, fears — everything.

I’ve never been so open or comfortable around someone before. Our walls are gone. And the most messed up part? Some small, perverse part of me loves the strange intimacy we’ve manufactured through this farce. How much closer can you get than meticulously co-creating a fictional relationship?

In the beginning, I think we were both just in it for the laughs and pettiness factor. But something shifted for me recently. One night we were drunkenly rehearsing how I was going to describe our latest imaginary tryst to his ex-friend and ... I don’t know, I couldn’t stop staring at his lips while he was talking. His face was so close to mine and I felt breathless. In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to ditch the script and really kiss him. I had to physically stop myself from lunging forward.

Later, when I went back to my room, I was hit with a crushing wave of realization — I have actual romantic FEELINGS for this basketcase who hired me to play-act as his girlfriend! What the actual fuck?

Guys, I’m in too deep. How did I let this happen? L is technically still my employer and this whole operation has an expiration date. His former friend is already growing visibly annoyed, so Phase 2 (feign a dramatic breakup, I move out, L moves on with his life) is likely coming up very soon.

Do I just bury my feelings and end this gig without saying anything? Do I risk the humiliation of confessing my heart to someone who was only pretending to want me around? Or should I just go for it and make out with him next time we’re tangled on the couch? I’m spiraling here!

The pettiness that brought us together may also tear us apart. Or maybe I’m just a sad clown who read too much into a fake relationship. Someone slap me with a reality check, please! I need perspective from the outside.

Tl;DR - Developed legit romantic feelings for the guy who hired me to be his fake girlfriend as part of his weird revenge plot. Not sure if I should come clean, keep it professional, or start actually making out with him for real. This was NOT part of the deal!

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u/judgingloudly · 18h

Oh honey, you are in a MESS. This is like a bad romcom plot but IRL. I think your only real option is to fess up and tell L how you’re feeling. Contrary to popular belief, the fake dating trope doesn’t always have to stay pretend!

If he doesn’t feel the same way, at least you put it all out there and can move on with some dignity intact. But who knows — from how you describe the crazy chemistry and connection, he might feel relieved you said something first! Don’t let this fire burn out without taking your shot. Oh and definitely keep us updated, I’m invested now!

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Reply to u/judgingloudly · 17h

I agree with this take. You already acknowledged you’re in too deep emotionally. Might as well put those cards on the table and let the chips fall where they may. Shooting your shot is always better than letting the “what if” eat away at you forever!

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u/livefordrama · 16h

I’m sorry but I simply must ask — how did you land a gig like this? And does he happen to have any more openings for a fake girlfriend? Asking for a friend …

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u/yourusername · 15h

Honestly it was a random Facebook ad looking for exactly this — a girl to move in and fake date this guy to drive his feuding neighbor up the wall. I applied semi-joking but he picked me!

As for openings, not that I know of ... yet. I may have to quit soon depending how this all plays out, so will keep you posted if my spot opens up!

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Reply to u/yourusername · 14h

Omg please do! I would 100% take on a role like this, it sounds like a total riot.

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u/unpaidtherapist · 13h

Girl, I think you already know what you have to do here. Is keeping things professional and never admitting your feelings really an option at this point? You’re clearly enamored with this guy and he seems to reciprocate the intensity at least platonically so far. I say GO FOR IT!

Just pull him aside one day, say “hey this isn’t just an act for me anymore, I really like you and need to know if there’s a possibility for us or not.” If he’s as caught off guard and freaked out as you’re implying, a direct conversation is needed to get those cards on the table. Don’t die wondering “what if?” That’s my advice.

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u/everydayopportunist · 12h

This is so wild, I’m living for this drama! Seriously might need to pursue some similar gigs myself, apparently that’s where all the romance happens these days 😂

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u/devilsadvocate · 11h

I’m sorry but I have to go against the grain here — please do NOT make a move or confess any feelings! This guy hired you for a very specific job under very specific pretenses. Catching real feels was not part of the deal at all. Selfishly throwing that at him out of the blue would be so unfair after he opened his home to you. I worry he could feel betrayed and violated even if he did secretly like you back.

My advice? Give it a few weeks, see if these feelings persist or if it was just a passing crush brought on by the intimacy you’ve found yourselves in. If it’s still intense after cooling off, then maybe consider looping him in. But don’t go nuclear until you're absolutely sure. You could risk imploding a good work situation and friendship over a temporary infatuation. Tread very lightly!

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Reply to u/devilsadvocate · 10h

I’m with this take, OP shouldn’t jeopardize her living situation if her feelings might be fleeting. Taking a step back and giving it more time could provide clarity. It’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy.

The more prudent move is to wait until the “job” wraps up before considering opening that can of worms. If feelings persist minus the contrived closeness, she’ll know it's real. But springing it on the guy now seems wildly unfair and could blow up in her face.

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r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 15h

AITA for turning down my fake girlfriend after she admitted feelings, only to want her back days later?

I think I may have tremendously fucked up in a spectacularly messy way. Let me walk you through the tangled web I’ve woven ...

A couple months ago, I (39M) hired this woman to essentially move into my apartment and pretend to be my new girlfriend. I know it sounds batshit crazy … but I was trying to make my ex-best friend/neighbor jealous after a bitter falling out between us.

She was the perfect partner for this ruse — sarcastic and spunky, with a hint of unhinged energy. We bonded instantly over bottles of wine and throwing deliciously overblown “loud sex” performances in the hallway to drive my ex-friend nuts. What was meant to be a transaction quickly bloomed into a legitimately fun, effortless friendship.

Soon after, we started having real sex. It sort of just … happened, albeit very awkwardly at first. Like “well this is weird, want to try it for real just to see?” And what do you know, we had insane chemistry between the sheets too! We were soon sleeping together nearly every night, always swearing afterwards that it was “just for fun” and didn’t mean anything more.

But I started catching feelings. She was hilarious, confident, beautiful — everything I could ever want in a partner. We had connected on a deeper level through the medium of batshit pettiness. And our physical intimacy only amplified that bond.

Cut to a couple weeks ago. We had just finished a particularly athletic round and were cuddled up, spent. Out of nowhere, she pipes up nervously: “Hey … I think I’m really falling for you. I don't want this to just be sex or games anymore. I want to really try being together.”

I froze. The words I had been longing to hear suddenly terrified me in that moment. My throat clenched up as a wave of panic crashed over me (yes, I’m well aware of how stupid this was in hindsight). After an agonizing pause, I managed to choke out: “I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. This thing between us was only ever supposed to be fake. I don’t think of you that way.”

I could actually see her face crumble. She quickly mumbled “okay” and slid out of my bed, wrapping a sheet around herself to cover her dejection. I swear I heard muffled sobs through the wall once she was back in her guest room. I felt like a piece of shit.

The next few days were some of the most awkward, brutal tension I’ve ever experienced. She was now acting like a scorned woman just doing her job, no intimacy whatsoever. We could barely make eye contact.

It took seeing her so closed off, so cold, for me to realize how much I desperately missed her warmth, humor, friendship. How much I longed for the easy intimacy we once had, both emotional and physical. I tried a few times to apologize or explain myself, but she brushed me off — utterly walled off to protect herself.

After days of wrestling with my suppressed feelings, I realized that I was in love with this wonderful woman. Hiring her as a fake girlfriend was one of the best things I had ever done because it brought her into my life … and now I didn’t want to let her go. She was becoming my person, even if she had started out as a farce.

But here’s where I really need some impartial perspective — AITA for freezing up and rejecting her confession?

I didn’t meant to tank her feelings so callously. I think I just ... panicked in that moment. The idea of committing to a real relationship terrified me in ways I didn’t expect. My career keeps me constantly on the go, always jet-setting to the next thing. Could I really give a romance the time and energy it deserves right now?

Part of me also felt massively conflicted about the circumstances. I’m literally paying her to pretend to be my girlfriend as a sort of ongoing petty revenge. If I admitted I wanted to actually date her, wouldn't that blur consent lines in some messed up way? Like, is she just going along with it because she’s on the payroll?

I know these both sound like flimsy excuses, but they were very real fears racing through my mind in that moment. Fears that made me impulsively reject her, despite how utterly gone I was.

Now, days later, those same hangups don’t seem so insurmountable. Maybe she and I could make something work, travel schedules and all. And if she reciprocated feelings, it would be a starting point — not her just placating me for a check. We could rip up the old arrangement and start fresh.

But I haven’t confessed any of this to her yet out of gut-wrenching cowardice. She’s still giving me this cold, professional shoulder. I don’t know how to begin recanting my idiotic reaction and opening up about the REAL reasons I panicked — the commitment fears, the moral dilemma, all of it.

Part of me wonders if I even have the right to try and pursue things with her at this point? I absolutely shattered her feelings for my own hangups just days ago. AITA for potentially stringing her along further by trying to retroactively take it all back? Maybe I’ve missed my window and should just let this phase of my life be over before it gets even more painful and messy?

Ugh, I’m rambling now. The crux is — AITA for how I recklessly rejected her in that moment? Do I even have a right to try and make amends after that thunderous fumble? Or should I just take the L, chalk it up to collateral damage of being in the world’s most messy pseudo-relationship, and move on?

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u/juryofone · 14h

YTA, but only because you handled the initial rejection in the worst way possible. Your reasons for hesitating are somewhat understandable. But you really dropped the ball in communicating that to her in the moment.

Instead of calmly explaining where your headspace was at, you just blurted out a kneejerk rejection that crushed her feelings. No wonder she went ice cold — that had to sting like hell! If you had taken a breath and talked it through with more nuance, maybe you could’ve reached an understanding.

The good news is, you’ve now realized how much you DO want this woman in your life as more than a pretend romance. I don’t think you’re an AH for having those feelings or wanting to pursue her again, provided you make a sincere, thoughtful effort to apologize for your tactless approach before.

My advice? Explain the real reasons you froze up, how torn you felt over everything, and make it clear you still have feelings. But lead with a heartfelt apology for how horribly you botched it at first. If she’s willing to give you one more chance after that, DO NOT blow it.

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Reply to u/juryofone · 13h

I agree with this take. He’s not an AH for the situation, but majorly the AH for the WAY he handled rejecting her. That had to sting badly after putting herself out there. The mature thing is to own up to that and properly communicate where his head was at.

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Reply to u/juryofone · 12h

Yeah, going straight for “I can’t do that, I don’t think of you that way” after she bared her soul was so harsh and unnecessary. He could have let her down wayyyy more gently if he was that conflicted about it all. She must’ve felt like a fool!

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u/neutralpartier · 11h

NAH — I get that you panicked in the heat of the moment and why this whole situation is heavy with ethical quandaries. The reality is, you two started off pretending but real feelings developed, and that’s okay! It happens. The moral issue only remains if you knowingly took advantage of or manipulated her feelings while she was on your payroll. Since you seem just as confused as she was, I don’t think any lines were really crossed.

The way forward is to rip off the bandaid once and for all. If you have mutual feelings now, figure out if you want to date as equals. If not, it’s time to part ways amicably while you both still can. But don’t keep paying her while catching feels — THAT would make you an AH.

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u/glasshalfempty · 10h

ESH ... look, you suck for how you handled rejecting her confession. That was really hurtful and avoidant no matter your internal struggles. She sucks for going into this thinking it was all pretend, catching real feelings, and expecting you to want to be serious too. You PAID her to be your fake GF and made that clear.

My suggestion is to have an honest discussion about whether you can BOTH separate the transactions from reality. If you’re both all-in on trying for real, great! But one of you is going to get burned if expectations don’t align. And please, for the love of god, stop paying her!

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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 9h

This is exactly what I was thinking too! Way too messy ethically to keep paying her as the lines blur between fantasy job and real romance. Either take the plunge and date properly or go separate ways for good.

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Reply to u/glasshalfempty · 8h

Agree but like ... is this even real? How does someone end up hiring a fake girlfriend to make their former best friend jealous? That alone sounds like a bad romcom plot.

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u/criticaloverthinker · 7h

I’m calling cap on this whole wild story. Childhood besties turned feuding enemies living in the same building? A fake girlfriend who moves in as part of an elaborate revenge plan? It’s all too unbelievable.

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u/struggling-with-reddit · 6h

I’ll play along and rate, but no way is this post legit lol. Having a fake girlfriend you eventually catch feelings for while pranking your neighbor? What’s next, one of you is actually royalty or a secret millionaire? Too much happening here.

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Reply to u/struggling-with-reddit · 5h

Hahaha I know right, the excessive details and backstory gave it away as creative writing practice or something. No judgment from me, it was an entertaining read at least!

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u/struggling-with-reddit · 4h

Next thing you know, OP will be claiming he’s Michael Schumacher or something 😂

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r/AmITheAsshole

u/veganGOAT · 8h

UPDATE — I’m the idiot who rejected then realized I loved my fake girlfriend … and she took me back!

When I made my initial post a bit over a month ago about this whole fake girlfriend situation, most of you understandably called it outrageously far-fetched.

Which, fair. How does someone actually end up hiring a woman to fake date them just to make their neighbor jealous? It does sound ripped straight from a Nicholas Sparks fever dream.

Well put on your straight jackets, because this ridiculous saga is 100% real. And I’ve got an update that’s even crazier than the original tale ...

After reading the feedback on my initial post (and getting a whole lot of shit from some friends too), it became crystal clear that I had to make things right. I put her through the emotional wringer by callously rejecting her in the moment, when her feelings were just as tangled up as mine were. I owed her a sincere apology and a proper explanation of why I froze — with no more deflections or excuses.

So I wrote her a long letter. I laid it all out there. How torn I felt about the ethical and emotional complexities of our arrangement. How her vulnerability awoke my own fears about commitment, my transient lifestyle, and whether I could realistically be the partner she deserved. Mostly, I repeatedly owned up to being a thoughtless prick who shattered her trust out of pure pathetic self-preservation.

But above all, I made one thing clear — despite my bumbling, I had fallen for her too. Completely and utterly. She had cracked through my defenses and healing her hurt became the only thing that mattered.

I ended the letter by owning up to the fact that she now held all the power. While she had moved into this arrangement under certain pretenses, I had violated that implied contract. The ball was entirely in her court now. I would abide by whatever decision she landed on — friendship, an amicable parting of ways, or taking the terrifying gamble of trying to make this the real deal.

When she emerged from her room the next morning, I could barely look at her. I was a sweaty, nauseated wreck, steeling myself for the worst. She sat down next to me in silence and unleashed the longest, most blistering dressing down of my life. How I had made her feel so small, so foolish, so painfully vulnerable. Words like “coward” and “asshole” were thrown around. But you know what phrase stung most?

“I wish you had told me all of this up front instead of dealing with it like a child. I could’ve understood where you were coming from.”

It was a dagger — she was absolutely right. My dumb automatic rejection utterly betrayed the openness and intimacy we had built. Still, she didn’t dismiss me entirely. She would need some time to think, but asked that I stand by for an answer.

The limbo period was … not fun.

After four excruciating days, she came to me again. This time, she was almost shy, like her old self. She told me she had thought it over extensively, and ultimately my explanation and full-hearted apology won her over. I may be an idiot, an asshole, and a bit of a mess (her words), but I was an honest idiot with a good heart under all the bravado. And that’s what had drawn her to me in the first place.

So with the understanding that we would both need to work on our communication skills and respective hang-ups, she was in. We would press the reset button altogether, end our old arrangement, and try to make this relationship happen for real — messy origins be damned.

That was exactly a month ago today, and things have never been better. Sure, we still lean into some harmless (and vaguely unhinged) pettiness with my former friend from time to time. Some habits are too fun to quit cold turkey. But ultimately, I’ve never been so grateful for the insane set of circumstances that brought this amazing woman into my life. We may have started as an acting exercise, but we took a leap together into something beautifully real.

And yeah, I still have to hear shit from literally everyone about how our romance origin story is the most unbelievable meet-cute of all time. But I’ve learned to lean into the absurdity. After all, what’s life without a little chaos and a perfect partner to share in the pandemonium?

Thanks to everyone who offered candid advice on my original post. You may have received an update sooner if not for all the people accusing me of faking it! All I can say is … this is my blissfully ridiculous reality now.

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u/juryofone · 7h

Well hot damn, I have to hand it to you — this saga is even wilder than the original post let on! I went from being totally skeptical of the whole outrageous situation to being fully invested in this insane romance. Love that she put you through the wringer a bit before taking you back. You absolutely deserved that and more after treating her like you did.

But huge props to you for manning up with that apology and giving her the power to make the next move. That vulnerability and respect for her feelings despite your own doubts is what true partnership is all about. I have a feeling you two chaotic bastards are going to be just fine as a real couple now that all the crazy pretenses have been stripped away. Wishing you both nothing but more pandemonium and pettiness together!

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u/neutralpartier · 7h

I’m officially obsessed with this love story. You went from hiring a woman off to punk your neighbor, to breaking her heart over catching feelings, to doing the MOST to grovel your way back into her good graces, to ACTUALLY SUCCEEDING. It’s romcom gold! I need this to get optioned for a movie immediately.

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u/glasshalffull · 6h

As wild as this story has been from start to finish, this update has me straight up emotional! The groveling, the way you explained your fears, her roasting you for days before mercifully taking you back … my heart. Love that she cut straight through the bullshit by calling you an idiot AND acknowledging your good heart. That’s the ideal balance.

I’m so invested in this nonsense and need regular updates on how things progress from here. You better not blow it after all this chaos or I’ll be leading the charge to vandalize your apartment!

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u/romanticempath · 5h

What a journey! To go from manufacturing a fake relationship purely for petty vengeance, to developing REAL emotional stakes, to breaking each other's hearts quite viscerally, to finding your way back together through sheer vulnerability? Incredible stuff.

I laughed, cried (a little, don’t judge), and cringed throughout this entire saga. Thank you for bringing us all along for the insane roller coaster. I wish nothing but ridiculous happiness for you and her moving forward!

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u/fairytaledreamer · 4h

I’m sorry but I still can’t get over the fact that this is somehow a real series of events? You’re a madman and this is truly unhinged (but also incredible). How did ALL of this unfold before your 40s?

Romcoms have been put to bed. Welcome to 2024, where people actually hire fake GFs to get revenge on their scorned former friends, develop legit attachment issues, torpedo everything in a panic, grovel for redemption fit for cinematic history, and somehow STILL end up together in some sort of demented happily ever after!

All I can say is cherish the chaos you've manifested. I can’t wait to see what bonkers plotlines await the two you. Start recording everything for the biopic!

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Reply to u/fairytaledreamer · 3h

“Cherish the chaos” is absolutely the perfect sign off for this update. I’m deceased at this whole wild drama, but also soooo invested! Cannot wait for the inevitable Netflix mini series. Thanks for the laughs, drama, and emotional whiplash!

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r/offmychest

u/NotBritneySpears · 21h

My ex-bestie’s wedding to his obnoxious girlfriend was a nightmare … and so was their wedding night (unfortunately)

You’ll have to bear with me on this one, because I’m still reeling a bit from one of the most cringey, uncomfortable, and downright baffling weekends of my entire life. I need to get this off my chest before I have a full mental breakdown.

A couple years ago, I made a post venting about my former best friend’s new girlfriend at the time. For those who missed the saga, she was an insufferably loud woman who seemed to take immense pleasure in loudly narrating her sex life with my former friend right outside my apartment door. It was psychological warfare, plain and simple.

Well, I’m sure you can all see where this is going based on the title. Against all odds and reason, this woman and my ex-friend somehow stuck it out … until he put a ring on it last year. Which leads me to the first in a cascading series of mind-numbing events — receiving a wedding invitation from the happy couple!

Now, let’s be clear — I have not spoken to my former best friend in almost a decade at this point. Not since our cataclysmic falling out (a story for another day). We were thick as thieves until our bond was shattered beyond repair. For him to invite me to his wedding with the woman who crudely mocked their intimacy for my benefit was … certainly a choice.

On one hand, why on EARTH would you invite the person whose heart you deliberately stomped on so many years ago? It felt like a cruel joke, rubbing salt in an open wound that never fully healed. A reminder of their domestic bliss and my bitter ostracism.

Yet on the other hand, maybe there was a subconscious part of me that would have felt insulted if he didn’t invite me after so many shared years? As if he had utterly erased me from his life without a second thought? The thought gut punched me too in an admittedly unhealthy way.

Long story short, I RSVP’d yes … half out of morbid curiosity and half out of a deeply unwell desire to not get excluded from such a significant life event. In hindsight, a foolish decision that kicked off a horrifically uncomfortable series of events.

The wedding itself was … a lot. An over-the-top spectacle at an insanely expensive venue. My miserable self stuck out like a sore thumb surrounded by all the adoring couple’s friends and family. I sat through mushy vows reaffirming their “unlikely origin” in the “most unexpected yet fortuitous way” … while trying not to puke.

So yeah, sheer cringe start to finish. Little did I know the worst discomfort was yet to come!

In perhaps the most on-brand grand gesture of the entire weekend, the groom rented out an entire boutique hotel for all out-of-town guests to stay at after the reception. That way we could all keep the party going nearby before he whisked his new bride off to parts unknown on their honeymoon the next day.

Ever the gracious host with a penchant for the spectacle, he let wedding guests draw for their room assignments out of an actual top hat. I somehow managed to get seated right next to his parents who, while cordial enough, knew me as the ex-best friend responsible for so much fractured history.

But wait, there’s more! Wouldn’t you know, the universe is supremely messed up because I ended up with the room directly underneath the newlywed suite. Yes … I spent their wedding night listening to a live-streamed porn broadcast courtesy of the paper-thin walls and floors.

Dolphin sounds didn’t even BEGIN to cover the unholy noises raining down from above around 2am. I’m talking full-on screams of unbridled passion echoing off the walls at maximum volume. Mind you, this woman had become infamous for over-enunciating their coitus for my benefit previously. Now it was a frighteningly real-life rendition that no noise-cancelling headphones could drown out.

I finally had to flee my room to the lobby. I ended up crashing on one of the lobby couches until an employee politely asked me to leave around 6am. Disheveled, disoriented, and officially diagnosed with PTSD from the sounds I cannot unhear.

So yeah … not exactly a therapeutic reunion that could have allowed my ex-friend and I to bury the hatchet. If anything, this wedding was one massive “screw you” that opened up all the same unresolved wounds. I need about 20 years of intensive therapy to move on.

I also need to find a new place to live because I can’t bear returning to that cursed apartment building.

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u/chronicgossiper · 18h

Dude, I think you need to get some serious perspective here. Your ex-friend getting married and going on a honeymoon has absolutely zero to do with you. That level of self-centeredness is off the charts.

Why in the world would this guy plan an entire wedding — one of the biggest days of his life — around secretly tormenting you again over ancient history? That makes no sense. He invited you as a polite gesture after years apart, probably hoping to start burying the hatchet. The room assignments were random by your own admission.

As for the … “noises” … look, they were on their wedding night. Maybe overenthusiastic, but 100% to be expected between newlyweds. It’s not some psychological ploy, just poor planning on their part for thin walls. You’re projecting like crazy if you think that was directed at you specifically.

At a certain point, you have to realize the universe doesn’t actually revolve around your grudges or history with this person. They’ve clearly moved on to live their best life. It’s on you to stop obsessing over them and do the same.

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Reply to u/chronicgossiper · 16h

I agree, this is just pure paranoia from OP. No newly wedded couple is sitting around thinking “how can we sneakily stick it to your ex-best friend during our wedding festivities?” That’s deranged thinking.

They invited you to be polite, you drew an unlucky room assignment near their suite, and then biology happened on their wedding night. Hilarious and awkward coincidence? Yes. Intricately designed fuck you from the bride and groom? Come on now, that’s giving them way too much credit.

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u/NotBritneySpears · 13h

Maybe you all have a point, and I am still holding onto way too much resentment and baggage from our falling out. My intention wasn’t to imply they orchestrated an elaborate sting operation around their wedding. More just a general sense that the universe has a funny way of reminding me about them at highly inconvenient times over the years.

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Reply to u/NotBritneySpears · 12h

Even that line of thinking is incredibly self-centered though. Why would random coincidences or them just … living their lives be the “universe’s way of reminding you” about your failed friendship? That makes it sound like they should perpetually be walking on eggshells and avoiding certain life events just because you can’t get over the past.

Look, it sucks that things fell apart so badly between you two. But they have clearly moved on, as you should too. This obsessive framing of their marriage as some universal affront to you is … not healthy, my dude.

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u/nosyandproud · 10h

The wedding itself sounds like it was in poor taste for sure, so I can certainly understand feeling aggravated and triggered being there as the scorned former friend.

That said … you’re borrowing A LOT of trouble by assuming any of their private wedding night activities were purposely being broadcast to you specifically. Projection level 1000 there.

At the end of the day, these people have built a whole entire life and future together now that quite literally has nothing to do with you anymore. You looking for “signs” that they’re still fixated on you is just self-involvement. For your own mental health, you have to let go of whatever happened and see them as background characters in the story of your life now.

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u/realitychecker · 7h

OP, you need to take a step back and realize that the sheer logistics involved in purposely torturing you at their wedding are just not plausible. Do you really think they were like:

“Alright honey, for our wedding night I was thinking we should make sure your former friend gets the room directly below ours! That way when we really get after it, he’ll be able to hear every excruciating moan and body smacking sound in haunting detail! That’ll show him for being your friend a decade ago! Mwahaha!”

Come on, mate. That’s delusional cartoon villain level scheming you’re attributing to them. Occam's Razor — they just wanted to consummate their marriage in privacy and didn’t account for the thin hotel walls. The world doesn’t actually revolve around your history with this!

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Reply to u/realitychecker · 5h

Lmaooo the idea of them sitting around strategizing the most psychological warfare possible on their wedding night is killing me. “Yes honey, we simply MUST reenact scenes from our noisiest adult films for your ex-best friend’s terrible pleasure!”

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u/buildingbridges

OP, it seems like you really miss having your friend in your life if I’m reading between the lines here. Getting invested to this level over random coincidences at his wedding doesn’t come from a place of hatred, but hurt and longing for that bond again.

My advice? Use this weekend as a wake-up call to stop obsessing, reflect on whatever caused your rift, and decide if you want to properly reconnect. If not, you need to rip that band-aid off for good and stop torturing yourself over what will never be again. Or the walls between you two will just get thinner and thinner ...

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r/ask

u/amateurdetective · 15h

I think these juicy Reddit posts actually interconnect … but I need your help cracking the code

I think I’ve stumbled onto something wild here and I need the Reddit hive mind to help me piece this tangled web together. Are you ready for some batshit conspiracy-level connecting of barely-there dots? Too bad, I’m going in anyway.

So, over the past few years, I kept seeing these extremely juicy, dramatically-written posts pop up every few months that seemed … oddly interconnected despite being in different subreddits.

Hear me out:

First there was the unhinged post in r/offmychest from a guy ranting about his former best friend’s obnoxious new girlfriend. Dude was griping about how this woman would loudly recount the smutty details of her sex life with the ex-friend whenever she was in his general vicinity, seemingly just to mess with the OP. We’re talking legitimately disturbing stuff about feeling “psychologically tortured” by her oversharing.

Fast forward a few months and I stumble across a wild post in r/relationships from the perspective of this same “obnoxious” girlfriend! Except her story painted a whole different, unhinged picture — she was hired on FACEBOOK MARKETPLACE by the former friend to literally move in and fake date him as part of an ongoing revenge plot against the OP from the first post. She rapidly develops legitimate feelings for the guy and it becomes a messy will-they-won’t-they romcom situation.

But THEN there was a follow-up post from the fake boyfriend’s side in r/AmITheAsshole about him realizing he caught feelings too before nearly blowing it, followed by another saga-capping update about them deciding to pursue a real relationship against all odds and absurdity.

Are you seeing the parallels here? These three posters each gave one side of an absolute dumpster fire of a convoluted love triangle situation that seemingly intersected. And based on the intricate backstories, my crackpot theory is they all emanated from the same formerly tight friend group that experienced a bitter falling out.

The insane attention to detail, literary flair, and geometry of it all almost had me utterly convinced these were all fictionalized creative writing exercises posted separately across Reddit … but building on the same unhinged storylines each step of the way.

I’m utterly obsessed with mapping this all out into one cohesive narrative now. My working theory is something like this:

Some guy hired an actress to pose as his fake GF and torment his former friend as revenge for some past betrayal

The two fake partners rapidly caught real feelings amid the ruse, he panics and nearly torpedoes it

Meanwhile, the ex-best friend is losing his mind overhearing the fake girlfriend’s loud performances and comes to Reddit for advice, not realizing it’s all a ploy

After a saga of miscommunication, the fake boyfriend comes clean and the couple decide to actually date for real

Capping things off, the former friend is forced to attend their wedding where he’s subjected to one final night of unholy noises

Does it all track? Or have I completely unraveled the conspiracy and stumbled onto a drastically personal set of circumstances being workshopped on Reddit? If so, that’s some ludicrously elaborate storytelling!

I need to know if I’m onto something here or completely off my rocker. If the former, I’ll burn every last calorie mapping out a master record of events across all the posts. If the latter … someone needs to drop their juicy fanfic writing prompts because these were WILDLY entertaining reads.

Help me connect these dots or point me towards any other potentially linked tales! This has been a public service aneurysm brought to you by pure boredom.

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u/scepeticbynature · 14h

Wow, you’ve gone full Sherlock Holmes with this. I’m dying at how insanely detailed your working theory is in tying together these random Reddit posts into one cohesive narrative. This is either a brilliant piece of performance art … or you need your meds adjusted, my friend.

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Reply to u/scepticbynature · 12h

Hahaha exactly! The amount of time and brain power OP has devoted to mapping this out is beyond obsessive. I don’t know whether to applaud the commitment to the bit or get them professional help.

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u/amateurdetective · 10h

I’m sorry, did you actually read through the posts in question? The intersecting pieces of random, elaborate backstory between all three distinct voices is way too specific and layered for it to be an accidental alignment. There are unambiguous throughlines about:

A pair of feuding former childhood best friends

One hiring a woman off Facebook to pose as his fake GF and torment the other as revenge

Said fake relationship descending into a very real emotional entanglement for both parties

The eventual fallout of the ex-friend having to bear witnessing the real couple’s wedding and chaos that followed

Like that’s such a bizarrely specific plot keeping consistent across three different users’ lenses! So you’re either pointing out the artistry of someone doing an incredibly elaborate creative writing exercise across multiple subs … or these people are just leading unbelievably unhinged lives. And part of me hopes it’s the latter? It’s too batshit crazy not to be true!

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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 9h

Or, and hear me out … it’s all an internal dialogue you’re having with your numerous Reddit personalities to work out your own unresolved relationship issues. We’re all just incredibly intricate fragments of your aching psyche!

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u/opinionatedtruther · 7h

Lmao you are both nuts, but I have to side with OP on this one. The chances of these being all interconnected fabricated stories is way too perfect to be an accident. All the tiny threads and recurring backstories/character details woven between wildly different subreddit posts? That’s not a coincidence.

I could buy it maybe being some extended Reddit fanfic experiment between a couple of redditors seeing who can craft more engaging characters and drama while world-building off each other’s plot threads. Like a weird form of collabing through the confined lens of Reddit posts. It would be pretty genius if so.

But for it to be entirely real with all the coinciding details scattered across entirely unrelated posts like that? I’m sorry, but there’s just no way. That’s beyond the scope of believability for me. OP may be bungling the conspiracy, but they’re onto something for sure!

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u/amateurdetective · 6h

THANK YOU, someone gets it! And to answer your other theory … while I can’t 100% rule out some sort of viral Reddit fanfic experiment, I struggle to believe even the most creative writers would be capable of improvising THAT intricately interconnected of a storyline stream-of-consciousness style like that.

Like each voice and perspective they inhabit remains remarkably consistent across such wildly different contexts (relationship drama, life events, ethical debates, and updates). It would take incredible skill to stay in the headspaces of these distinct individuals and keep their personalities/plot orbits from tangling into an incomprehensible mess. While possible, it seems incredibly unlikely.

That’s what has me believing there’s a remarkable kernel of stranger-than-fiction truth at the heart of this whole saga being teased out piece-by-piece. Or again … I’ve finally been gaslit into being a tin foil hatter of beautiful Reddit fantasies. Either way I’m here for it!

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Reply to u/amateurdetective · 3h

All I have to say is please touch some grass and post to r/creativewriting instead 🙄

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[radishaur]

✩ side by side ✩

Warnings: mentions of a slight injury in Luffy's part, semi-Wano spoilers and jealousy in Law's part Genre: fluff Characters: Luffy, Zoro, & Law Summary: How they realize they have feelings for you (quality time edition) Author's Note: Here's the next part of the series! I'm working on a master list, so the link will be here when I finish it! I tried to keep the reader's personalities the same as before so I hope they give off the same vibe. masterlist

Luffy loves spending time with his crew, whether aboard the Sunny or on whatever island you've landed on.

He's always goofing off and taking whatever crew member is unlucky enough to get stuck with him on his adventures. But, there are very few people he would sit silently with. Luffy is a ball of energy and I think being able to spend time with you in comfortable silence would cause him to have an aha moment.

~

Life is always crazy on the Sunny. It's one of Luffy's favorite things about his adventures and his crew, who constantly entertain his antics.

But sometimes, like today, they get a break. The water is calm as can be, there's not an enemy in sight, and the next island is days away so there's nothing for him to do except wait. Normally on days like this, he gets up to his usual Luffy shenanigans, whether it be causing a fight or getting everyone involved in some silly game, but this time it's different. This time, you're injured.

You're normally the first person to engage with him, entertain whatever stupid idea he comes up with much to the chagrin of the rest of the crew, but today he knows that's not an option. You'd been cut pretty badly during their last island visit after taking a hit for Chopper. He was getting overwhelmed and before any of the other crew members could react, you had jumped in the way, taking the slash right to your stomach.

The injury wasn't life-threatening, but it was severe enough that it needed stitches and Chopper had ordered you to rest over the next couple of days. You were recovering quickly, but you hadn't been able to get out of bed yet, so you'd been in the girl's shared room for the past few days.

He sighed, resigning himself to a boring day when he heard the doors to the deck open. He brightened up, thinking it was Sanji with his lunch, but was surprised to see that it was you instead. His heart flipped at the sight and he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. He called your name excitedly and was about to slingshot himself to you when he saw the bandages wrapping your stomach and stopped himself.

Instead, he runs over to you as the rest of the crew notices your arrival and comes to greet you as well. "You're finally up! I'm glad you're ok," he exclaimed, hugging your shoulders tightly. You huffed a laugh, hugging him back as some of the crew joined in.

"What are you doing up?" Chopper asks, running over from where he was relaxing to fuss over you. "You're supposed to be in bed recovering!"

"I've been relaxing. I wanted to come out and spend time with everyone," you huff, pouting slightly as everyone breaks the hug.

"She looks fine to me!" he says, laughing as he finally releases you and allows Chopper the space to look at your bandages.

Chopper scolds him as he continues checking your bandages and after a few moments, he pulls back, seemingly satisfied that you hadn't reopened your wound. Regardless, Chopper says, "You shouldn't have gotten out of bed! Just take the time to recover and relax."

"I will recover, I just missed being out here. I want to feel the breeze and the sun on my skin. Can't I relax out here?" you plead. Chopper thinks for a moment before finally relenting. "Fine, but be careful!" Chopper insists.

Satisfied, you start catching up with the rest of the crew about what you missed over the past few days. Sanji brings out special drinks and food while you spend time with everyone out on the deck for a while. Eventually, everyone breaks off to go back to their own activities and you make your way over to Luffy.

"You're being suspiciously calm," you say, a slight tease in your voice as you ask him, "What are you planning?"

He laughs, glad to hear your jokes again after so long without them before he answers, "Nothing! You've got to recover, so I have to be on my best behavior."

Your eyes widen a bit at his answer like you hadn't been expecting it, but then you smile. "That's very un-Luffy-like of you."

He catches up with you for a few moments before he notices how tired you look. You're talking with him eagerly, but he can see you struggling to keep your eyes open as sleep calls for you.

"You're tired," he says bluntly. "You should rest."

You frown, seemingly frustrated with yourself for being exhausted already as you say, "But I haven't spent any time with you." That makes his heart flip and he doesn't have the heart to send you back to your room to sleep.

He frowns too for a moment before an idea comes to him, and he takes your hand. "I have an idea, come on!" he says, pulling you behind him as he leads you towards the front of the ship.

He stops near the figurehead of the Sunny, extending his arms to pull himself up and then carefully reaching back down for you. He's extra careful as he hoists you up next to him and even more careful as he settles you next to him, making sure that he's supporting your weight and that his arms are around you in case you slip.

"You can just sleep here with me! That way, you get your rest and we can still hang out," he explains, satisfied with himself for his genius idea.

"Are you sure? That doesn't sound very fun for you," you ask.

"I always have fun with you!" he answers earnestly, smiling as he says, "Just relax and I'll take care of you."

He sees you visibly relax, whether it's from his words or just the exhaustion slowly taking over you, he can't tell, but you relax all the same. He feels his heart rate pick up slightly as you shuffle closer to him to lay your head down on his shoulder and mumble a thank you under your breath.

After a few minutes, when you're still moving around and trying to sleep, he starts to sing softly. Usually, he sings without a care in the world, but this time he finds himself trying to stay on pitch as much as possible. It's not long before you finally fall asleep, but he keeps singing for a while longer just to make sure.

He spends the next few hours holding you as you sleep next to him. He was expecting this to be hard, thinking that he would be restless and itching to just move around or talk to someone, but surprisingly he finds he's content to stay here with you. Watching you sleep next to him makes him happy in a way that's hard for him to describe. He meant it earlier when he said it was always fun with you, no matter what you were doing, and he finds himself thinking about it more.

By the time you wake up, at night as Sanji calls out that dinner is ready, he's figured out what it is that he's feeling. He thinks that he's always known, what with how he gravitates towards you, and now he just has a name for it. He helps you down from the Sunny's head and follows you inside, now hyper-aware of every time he touches you and how it makes his heart burst. For the next few days, he takes you up to the Sunny's figurehead to rest, reveling in the peace you bring him by simply being around him as he figures out what to do about his newly discovered feelings.

Zoro is a straightforward person when it comes to how he spends his time. He does what he wants to when he wants to.

He's willing to engage in whatever silly antics the crew has, but he also prioritizes his dream and the training it takes to get there. I think for him, spending quality time with him that shows how well you fit into his life, and how you support him, that's what would make him come to terms with his feelings.

~

The crow's nest is like Zoro's personal haven. He knows that technically its purpose is not as his training or nap room, but other than being on watch, almost nobody ever uses it. He'd been training on the deck below when Luffy had started one of his stupid games that broke the whole ship out into chaos and he realized that if he wanted to get anything done, he needed to move, so here he was.

It had been almost an hour, and he'd been able to train completely uninterrupted—until he heard a knock on the door.

"Go away, Luffy! I'm not playing your stupid game," he shouts, lifting his weights.

The door swings open anyway and he almost yells again until he looks over at who's coming in and sees that it's you. "It's not Luffy, don't worry," you say with a slight tease in your voice. "Mind if I stay?"

He sees a few books in your hand and decides that if you're just going to be reading, he doesn't mind the company. "Fine, but don't get in my way."

He goes back to his weights and you make yourself comfortable on the bench that lines the crow's nest. You set two of your books beside you on the bench and pick up the largest one to start reading. He looks at the cover absently as he's lifting and reads the title. He doesn't really understand what the words mean, but he knows enough to recognize that you must be studying something regarding your dream.

He trains like this for another 30 minutes, nothing but the mumble of his counting and the shuffle of pages to fill the air. After a while, he decides to switch to push-ups, so he drops the weight down on the ground, causing you to start slightly.

"Jeez. It's a wonder that the crow's nest is still intact," you laugh, mostly to yourself. He still hears you and shoots you a half-hearted glare that you don't catch, already reimmersed in your book.

He starts his push-ups, starting with both arms as a warm-up and then switching to one for the main event, but he quickly realizes that's not enough. He looks at the surrounding weights and almost considers putting them on his back for the extra weight before he reconsiders. While he's strong, he knows his limit and he doesn't want to break his back and send Chopper into hysterics. He almost gives up on the idea until he hears a page flip to his right.

He calls your name and you pause, looking up from your book to regard him. "I have a favor to ask," he says, stopping his push-ups for a moment to speak to you. "I need some extra weight on me for these push-ups, but these weights are way too much. Can you sit on my back?"

"Sure."

He's surprised at how easy that was, no complaints or promises of a return favor later needed to coerce you. You stand up, bringing your book with you as you make your way over. He lowers himself onto the floor and lets you climb onto his back. You settle into a criss-cross on his back and when he's sure that you're stable, he lifts himself up. Other than a slight jostle, you stay put on his back, so he begins his workout.

The added weight is exactly what he needed to get his blood pumping. He's still going one-handed, but now he's focusing on not letting you drop and supporting your extra weight. He also finds that he has a slight fluttering in his chest every time he feels you move slightly on his back, but he thinks that maybe that's just a side effect of the new strain.

You don't say much, still ingrained in your reading, and he finds that he appreciates how much you've respected his request. He knows that you tend to talk slightly while reading, something about it helping you process better, but you've been totally silent aside from your one snide remark. He feels a little bad and decides that since you've been so helpful, he'd try and help you back.

"So, what is it that you're reading about?" he asks, huffing slightly at the extra effort it takes to talk with you on his back.

Even though he can't see you, he can practically feel how vibrantly you light up at the question. You begin explaining to him exactly what it is that you've been reading and how it relates to your goals. He begins to relax slightly as you keep explaining, the conversation taking his mind off of the strain.

You begin talking for quite a while and besides the occasional question from him here and there, he lets you talk. He's surprised to find that he doesn't mind the noise and actually enjoys it. His skin feels warm all over at the admission and he blames it on the extra body heat from you.

As you're explaining, he realizes that he's missed the last few seconds of what you've said. You pause slightly before asking, "Sorry, I'm rambling. I should let you focus."

"'s fine," he assures, steadying his breath before continuing, "It's a nice distraction, so keep talking."

He's pleased when you giggle, sending flutters off in his stomach once again, and continue explaining. You keep explaining while he works out and while the concepts are mostly lost on him, he wants to show that he's listening so he asks a question about something that doesn't make sense to him.

He's not expecting you to lay down flush with his back and reach your hands over in front of his face. He falters slightly as you point at a diagram on one of the pages that he guesses is supposed to answer his question.

"Right there," you breathe, your face so close to his ear that the puff of warm breath brushes his ear.

He feels his arm give out as his face heats up at a rapid pace as his mind twists your words and proximity into an entirely different context. You stay mostly put on his back as he falls onto the ground, groaning slightly as he completely cushions your fall. You immediately move back into a sitting position, taking your book and your warmth with you, and apologize once again with a giggle.

"I guess I should probably warn you first before moving, huh?"

"Fucking idiot," he mumbles under his breath, eliciting another small laugh from you as it doesn't quite have the heat he wanted it to. "Stay still, woman."

You apologize again, but continue to explain the last bit you had been reading. He's glad you can't see his face from where you're sitting on his back, or he's sure you'd be able to see just how embarrassed he is by how red his face has gotten.

The rest of the workout is uneventful. You finish your explanation and he lets you read quietly while he finishes his last few sets, the light twisting feelings still curling in his gut. Eventually, he finishes his push-ups and he lets you get off of him. You spend the rest of the day with him up in the crow's nest, long after the shenanigans on the deck have ended, but he doesn't mind.

The room is once again filled with only the sounds of your pages and his movements, but this time his mind is too busy trying to figure out what the hell the feeling in his gut is to appreciate it. He's halfway through the next set of his workout when everything clicks and he's glad that he's facing away from you because he can feel his whole face heat up all the way to the tips of his ears.

Over the next few days, he finds that he seeks out your presence more, whether it's working out, visiting the town, or even sleeping on the deck. His body betrays him every time you guys brush past each other and at this point, he's surprised that you haven't noticed as most of the crew has. When it gets to the point where he begins missing your presence by his side whenever you're too busy or preoccupied to spend time with him while he trains or whatever he's doing, he realizes just how deep these feelings for you go.

"I'm so fucked."

Law likes to keep a certain degree of separation between him and everyone else.

He trusts his crew, but he also likes his space so I think opportunities for him to realize his feelings through quality time are far and few between. However, some social situations like a celebration would call for his presence and I think the two of you getting to slip away and have a quiet moment would make him realize his feelings.

~

Law has never particularly liked parties.

Unfortunately for him, he chose to create an alliance with someone who treats every day like a celebration and his own crew is not one to turn down an excuse to party. Their business in Wano is finally done and the alliance should be over, he declared it so as well, but he has a feeling he's too far in if Strawhats response is anything to go by.

Now, the Strawhats and his own crew were celebrating their victory with a giant banquet. They had been eating, dancing, and drinking for a few hours at this point and it showed no signs of stopping.

"Come on Tora-o," Luffy said, bouncing on his feet in front of him as he whined. "Join the party!"

Law huffed from his spot leaning against a tree on the outskirts of the party as some of his crewmembers nearby heard the nickname and started laughing. "I'm not dancing, Strawhat-ya," he responded, sending a glare off to his crewmembers that sent them scattering.

Luffy was about to pester him more until someone called his name and he went bounding into the crowd. He watched him disappear, taking another sip of his drink, and returned to people-watching. He saw Zoro and Nami, presumably in some kind of drinking contest if the amount of empty bottles was any indication. They had a few onlookers, Usopp and some of his crew egging them on. He saw Sanji cooking up a storm, Bepo and Chopper having an animated discussion about who knows what, and then his eyes landed on you.

He wishes now for some reason that he had taken Strawhat up on the offer to dance. You're laughing with Ikkaku and Strawhat as he dances, pulling you along with him.

He watches him pick you up and jump around as Ikkaku hoots and hollers and you laugh, looking at Luffy like he hung the very stars in the sky. It makes his stomach ache and he thinks the noise and commotion of the party is finally getting to him.

He pushes off the tree, downing the final swig of his drink, and makes his way back to the Polar Tang that's docked not far away. He makes his way onto the deck and stops to lean against the railing. He's close enough to the celebration that he can still hear the music faintly and there's a warm glow cast onto the sub from the bonfire, but far enough away that he can breathe a little easier.

He leans his head back slightly, letting himself get lost in the music in an attempt to relax but he finds himself still thinking of you and Luffy. He thinks he's hearing things when he hears your voice calling his name until he can see you making your way towards him.

You're smiling as you make your way onto the Polar Tang and lean against the railing next to him. He can smell the bonfire on you with how close you're standing to him, but he doesn't move.

"Finally get tired of the party?" you ask, looking over at him.

He nods, breaking his gaze away from you, and looks back out over the ocean. "I don't like parties," he answers, feeling the tips of his ears flush at the admission. You have the audacity to laugh at him, which only causes him to scowl as his embarrassment spreads to his cheeks.

"I know, Captain. You always stay on the outskirts," you respond, following his gaze as you add, "I needed a break too. Luffy's got a lot more energy than I do."

The mention of Luffy sends that same ugly feeling off in his stomach and he frowns. "You looked like you were having fun," he says, his voice dry. He doesn't understand where this feeling is coming from, but he tells himself it's just his general annoyance with Strawhat.

"I was. Luffy's a lot of fun..." you reply, making the feeling in his gut worsen. "But I need some time to relax too. When I noticed you were gone I figured you must have needed some peace and quiet, so I decided to come find you."

"You don't have to check on me," he says, letting his eyes flick over to your face for a moment.

You laugh again, soft and carefree in a way that makes his heart flutter before you respond. "I know I don't have to check on you. I just wanted your company, if I'm allowed to stay."

He doesn't respond right away, unsure of what to say. You look up at him after a few moments and he finally huffs, "Do what you like."

He can feel his ears burn as he breaks eye contact, but you don't laugh at him this time. Instead, you smile and settle in, seemingly content to sit here in silence with him all night. The music and the lull of the ocean are the only sounds. He surprises himself when he's the one to break the silence by asking, "Where did you learn to dance?"

You seem surprised by his question, but you recover quickly. "I never took any lessons. It's kind of just something I picked up by doing it. I just tried to copy what everyone else around me was doing," you answer, smiling to yourself before asking, "Do you know how to dance?"

He grimaces slightly at the question, but keeps his expression as neutral as he can as he says, "No." You don't seem surprised by his answer, but you don't move on from the subject as he expects you to. Instead, you seem to perk up as you turn to face him.

"Maybe I can teach you?" you propose.

At this he scowls, wrinkling his nose and looking at you like you just asked him to jump into the ocean and have a swim.

"Come on, I promise I'm a great teacher," you beg, pushing yourself up from the railing so that you're standing right next to him. "There's nobody else around, so now is the perfect time to learn. Nobody can make fun of you."

Normally, under any other circumstances, he would immediately refuse again, more forcefully to really get the point across, but he finds himself wanting to say yes. He wrestles with the idea for a few more moments before he sighs and stands up at his full height. He doesn't even get to reply before you grab his hand and pull him into the middle of the deck.

You explain to him that to start, you'll take it easy on him. All he has to do is hold your hand and help you along with your movements. It'll be less him dancing and more him just guiding you. He finds himself remembering how you danced with Strawhat, how free and happy you looked, and the feeling that curls around his heart makes him want to prove himself.

"I think I understand," he says, stepping closer with a new burning determination. "Let's try it."

You step closer, hesitating for a moment before grabbing his hand and beginning to dance. He tries his best to match your pace and you don't say anything the few times he messes up, simply continuing to dance and letting him figure it out. Eventually, he starts to pick it up as he lets himself relax and get out of his head. You're smiling now as you compliment him. "There you go! You're a natural."

He feels something hot and possessive grip his heart and before he can think better of it, he steps closer and mimics the way Strawhat was holding you earlier. You seem just as surprised as him at his sudden move, but you reciprocate quickly, starting to dance more with him than just around him.

He watches you with his heart thumping wildly in his chest as you fix him with a similar look to the one you gave Strawhat. It's free and happy and filled with admiration, but there's something more to it that makes his heart stop. He stomps down the feeling and continues to dance with you until the song stops. You break away first and he feels his cheeks heat up slightly as he realizes that he's still looking at you.

"You're a good teacher," is all he gets out before the next song starts.

He spends the rest of the night talking with you and ignoring the growing feeling in his stomach. By the time the celebration finally ends and people start making their way back to their respective ships, the sun is painting the sky a dark orange on the horizon as it starts to ascend and he realizes that the two of you must have been talking for hours.

Eventually, you both get tired and he finally heads to bed. Alone with his thoughts, he realizes just how much he enjoyed the celebration this time around. That fuzzy feeling is still alight in his chest and he can't help but hope that he gets another opportunity to dance and talk with you. It doesn't take him long to realize what he's feeling.

He acts like nothing has changed, he has to be professional after all, but he does make more excuses to talk to you or to have to spend time together. Each time he does, that feeling grows worse and worse and he knows he's in too deep.

ღ radishaur — i do not own any of these characters. do not plagiarize. please enjoy and remember to be respectful! 

[yoijin]

FRIENDS, BUT HE'S DOWN BAD !

∆ College AU, really dorm involved, implied reader plays sports(Rin's part), lowkey can be read as Gn!r, Sae's part a little short

Ft.: Nagi, Rin, Sae, Karasu, Bachira × M!Reader [separate]

Trying to come back to writing, so this is just me testing the waters.. interactions appreciated :D

Nagi's own way to flirt with you is to sneak into your dorm (when Reo's out to drag his ass to practice after classes). Shadowing your steps with his ":x" face, watching you unlock the door. And hurriedly shuffling his steps in, — knowing how Reo is fast in seeking for him — flopping on your bed with little bother before whining to not snitch he was hiding from practice. Even having the audacity to fall asleep on your mattresses. Rumors say he doesn't even share a dorm with Reo anymore by how often he is by yours. When you tried to shoo him away, Nagi cried 20 excuses so you just gave up.

"Your dorm is closer to the campus than mines. What a pain, just give the spare keys already. It would be easier like that. Easy peasy."

Rin's own way to flirt with you was to be around more often than needed. Always taking the seat beside you in hangouts where he’s dragged in by his teammates or in events where ALL the other seats are open. Sharing walks across the campus just to refill the water bottles because the water fountain near the clubs would be crowded by other players. Often seen coming over to your dorm during Friday nights, a day only reserved for watching and playing horror media with you, rather than chilling/studying on his own dorm.

"The game you wanted to play is going to be released soon." Rin said while picking up his phone, looking up at the way you perked up. "Really—? When?? I have to get an early buy." "I already did that."

Sae's own way to flirt with you is to invite you to be his plus one in anything, especially in events where it's required of presence. ' you free for the xxx gala? I need a plus one ' as you read off the phone. He doesn't even do it for romance— your presence just happens to be the most enjoyable out of all his friends. He'll let you yap about whatever and sit through it. You'll get quiet and you'll both enjoy it. The simplicity made a contrast to his daily achievements, and he quietly harbored the feeling of warmth you shared.

"When am I goin' to be your plus one again? I'm lonely, Sae-chan." Shidou slumped on his couch, boring eyes at the ceiling. "Quit whining. I do it because I want it to be him."

Karasu's own way to flirt with you is to agonize silently as he once again, the first view of your posts. Look, he just happens to be online at the moment and his finger just presses the notification bubble instinctively, so it's not his fault he's seeing your freshly posted story... 1 second was his record. 'm' an idiot...' as he closes his eyes and suck his lips into a tin line, suppressing the wave of embarrassment. He feels like a stalker. A no-life aside from soccer and high scores. But he's afraid he cannot escape the white lies he tells himself when the same thing keeps happening even during training. Not in a creepy way of course, the feeling of an embarrassing side like this being so exposed to you makes his mind spin.

"Not again..." He quickly closes his phone in hopes the system of views magically doesn't register him.

Bachira's own way of flirting with you was to give you things he made during an art course he took for fun. Oh what is this, your boring pencil? Let him disappear with it for a day and you'll now have a colorful, weird shaped pencil! Smiling without a clue in the world to his other art peers as he yet makes another fun interactive trinket for you. You have a shelf dedicated to his shenanigans and he's over the moon when he sees it. Even his mom — throws knowing looks at him when he's all over some project, again, with you being his muse. (His classmates are tired).

"Look, look! It's us! I made this, isn't it cute?" It's two rocks with the personification of you and him.

tyty for reading !

[infwects]

kiss & make up ⋆ t. stark

pairing: boss!tony stark x assistant!reader

warnings: 18+ content, nsfw, minors dni, sexual tension, teasing, dirty talk, vulgar language, praise kink, oral sex (f), cunnilingus, little grinding, fingering, tony stark.

summary: you’ve been tony’s assistant for a few years now and have been cleaning after him throughout your career. one day, tony decided to throw an early spontaneous birthday party for himself, and like always, left you to clean it up. though, tony found a way to make it up to you.

word count: 2.2k

author’s note: this is my first fic on here so enjoy sjkdjsks please leave a comment & reblog <3

Being Tony’s assistant was one hell of a job. You thought it was a simple assistant position where you would file papers, get coffee, create meetings and schedules. Escaping death and running from terrorists or aliens was never in the job’s description; you couldn’t leave if you wanted to, you were far too involved to go now. So, you were stuck with Tony Stark for the rest of your life. You weren’t sure if that was a good or bad thing.

Another thing that wasn’t in the job description was cleaning up after Tony’s mess after he threw a spontaneous party and slept with a random girl there. You were exhausted. Tired of being his cleaner. Maybe you’d take your chances and leave this job. God bless whoever would come after you if you did succeed with leaving.

You were now standing in front of Tony’s mansion after Happy had informed you of another party that Tony threw. From what Happy told you, Tony decided to host a birthday party for himself three days in advance. He told Happy that he wanted to throw an early birthday party, and on the day of his birthday, he would host another one. You promptly ended the call after Happy informed you of Tony’s shenanigans. You didn’t want to deal with this if you hadn’t had your morning coffee yet.

You took in a deep breath before knocking on the door. A few moments of silence passed before the intercom made a staticky noise.

“State your name, please.” The familiar voice of Jarvis spoke through the intercom, and a loud sigh left your mouth as you pinched the bridge of your nose.

“It’s me, Jarvis.” You answered tiredly, “Happy called me and told me what happened last night.”

“Ah, Ms. L/N,” Jarvis responded, his tone lighter. “Please come in.” The doors unlocked with a click, and you pushed through, met with the sight of balloons laid everywhere, red solo cups discarded across the floor and counters, and a large ‘Happy Birthday’ sign hanging from the balcony of the second floor.

“Jesus fucking Christ.” You muttered under your breath as you continued to scan the area, “I don’t get paid enough for this.” You sighed before turning toward the stairs. “Jarvis, make a call to the usual cleaners and have them come in 15. Oh, and add an extra $300 for the inconvenience.”

“Yes, Ms. L/N. Will do.” Jarvis answered.

“He’s in his room?” You asked.

“Yes, ma’am.”

You took in a deep breath before you stopped in front of Tony’s room. You gave a knock before entering his room, and surprisingly, it was only him in the bed.

You walked closer to the bed and took in the sight of Tony’s sleeping figure, soft snores left his lips as his cheeks were smushed against the pillows. You grabbed a pillow from under him, causing his head to fall against the mattress, and threw it roughly on his head.

Tony jolted up with a surprised shout, and his right hand immediately thrusted out as a part of his Iron Man suit came flying to him and secured around his wrist and palm.

Tony’s suited hand made a whirring noise and shone brightly, ready to fire at anything and anyone. You raised an eyebrow and crossed your arms over your chest, unfazed by his technology and gadgets now. Tony let out a relieved sigh, finally noticing that it was only you and not some assassin who had broken into his home to kidnap him.

“An early birthday party, Tony?” You asked in a bewildered tone, “Seriously?”

“What?” Tony smirked with a shrug, “There’s nothing wrong with celebrating early.”

“You—” You sputtered, “You’re ridiculous. Get dressed. The cleaners will be here soon and we need to leave. You have some paperwork to sign and you will come or so help me god.” You narrowed your eyes at him with a stern finger pointing at him.

Tony’s smirk grew wider, his tongue poked against the side of his cheek, “Or what?”

You glare at him and threw another pillow at his face, “Get dressed. I’ll be in the car.” With that, you turned on your heels leaving behind a laughing Tony Stark.

God, was he infuriating.

Tony didn’t take long to get ready. By the time he finished, the cleaners had arrived and were ready to clean up his mess. The car ride to the Avengers Compound was quiet. Tony could tell that you were pissed at him. He found it cute, he liked getting on your nerves.

“C’mon sweetheart, you can’t stay mad at me all day.” Tony smirked as he followed you into the tower.

“Watch me.” You answered immediately without looking at him. You reached the elevators and stepped in with him following inside. Tony chose to stand behind you and a chuckle left his lips at your snappy response.

“You should loosen up. Have fun.” Tony suggested, “You’re always so tense.”

“And whose fault is that?” You laughed humorlessly. You hear shuffling behind you, and suddenly, you feel a pair of lips brushing against your ears. You tense up, not daring to move a muscle.

“I’m sorry.” Tony’s warm breath fanned against your cheek, goosebumps rose on your arms, “Promise I’ll make up for it.” Just then, the elevator dinged causing you to slightly jump in place. A low shuddered gasp left your mouth as you turned to face Tony. A teasing look was evident on his face, but there was something else in his eyes that you couldn’t decipher. Something. . . dark.

You watched as he walked out of the elevator. He turned to look at you and raised an eyebrow, “You coming or what?” You let out a quiet squeak and quickly brushed past him, sprinting to where your office was located. You hear him chuckling and gulped, is this real?

Once you both made it to your office, you made Tony sit down and immediately made him sign the paperwork that you needed his signature for. You had him sign while you wrote emails to people who ranged from journalists, businessmen, investors, and more.

“Honey, you’ve been at that for hours. Take a break.” You glanced away from your laptop to see Tony putting down his pen and walking toward you.

You furrowed your eyebrows together and gave him a look, “Did you finish?” You asked him instead, choosing not to answer his question.

“I finished five minutes ago.” Tony raised an eyebrow. He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against your desk, “Now take a break, I’m not asking.”

“Tony.” You began with a sigh.

“Nuh-uh.” Tony clicked his tongue. He moved to close your laptop, and your mouth gaped at his actions. “Break.”

“Fine.” You grumbled, leaning back against your chair.

Tony smiled with satisfaction, “Jarvis, place an order for a turkey sandwich with a side of potato wedges and a vanilla milkshake please.”

You look at him in surprise, “You know my order?”

“Please.” Tony scoffed, “You’ve been with me for what—five years now? Of course, I know your order. I know you. Just like how you know me.”

“Really?” You asked with a laugh. “Enlighten me, Mr. Stark. What do you know about me?”

Tony smirked, his foot reached over to slightly turn your chair so you would be facing him, “You like order. Hate disorganized things. You like to be clean, hate being messy. It shows in your outfits, too. You’re always wearing a white button-up and a long skirt. You leave your hair down, though, because you’re too lazy to style it. You like simple things, sometimes if you’re feeling bold, you go beyond your usual style.” You froze. It seems that Tony Stark does know you better than you thought, “Oh, and you’re a complete brat, but I like that about you.”

“Why?” You asked breathlessly.

Tony’s smirk grew wider, he tilt his head to the side as he held your gaze, “Cause I would have so much fun fucking the brattiness out of you.”

Your eyes grew wide, and a quiet gasp left your lips at his statement. What the actual fuck.

“Why are you so surprised?” Tony inquired teasingly. He lifted himself off your desk and walked toward you. You gripped on the armrests of your chair tightly, “You don’t think I noticed the way you would look at me? You’re not really discreet.” You continued to stare at him in shock, completely at loss of words, “You always look at me like you want to devour me whole, but don’t worry, the feeling’s mutual.”

“Tony. . .” You muttered breathlessly.

Tony’s eyes dropped to your lips, and his pupils seemed to darken and dilate. “God, you have such pretty lips. Can I kiss you? Would you let me, pretty girl?”

You gasped. Oh my god. This can’t be real.

“Honey?” You glance up to see Tony looking at you in concern, “You still with me?”

You nodded meekly, “Mhm. I—You can kiss me.”

Tony smiled, and he brushed his thumb against your bottom lip, “Yeah?”

“Please.” You pleaded. Tony grinned and pulled you up from the chair and into him. A satisfied moan left him as his lips made contact with yours. He softly licked your bottom lip, and you parted your lips, allowing him entrance. Tony reached behind to grip the back of your head, pulling you closer to him, and causing you to gasp against his mouth. You felt him smirk, and he pulled back, a string of spit was visible, and he reached up to wipe your bottom lip.

“Pretty girl,” Tony mumbled. His eyes trailed over your face before he pulled you into another kiss, “C’mere.” You moaned against his lips as his tongue immediately shoved in your mouth. He flipped you over, flinging everything on your desk off and onto the floor. You gasped and arched your back as Tony’s kisses began to trail down your neck, one hand held down your hips while the other gripped your neck softly. You parted your legs for him, and he immediately began to grind against you, which caused a groan to leave his lips, “God, you’re addicting.”

“Tony. More.” You whined, scrunching up the fabric of his shirt. Tony chuckled between his kisses; he pecked up your jawline to your cheeks.

“More what?” Tony whispered, “Use your words, honey.”

“Want more of you.” You muttered, grinding against his thigh that was wedged between your legs. “Want to feel you.”

“Where?” Tony teased. His fingers trailed dangerously close to your center. You felt like you were on fire, and his touch wasn’t helping at all. “You gotta tell me where, sweetheart.”

“Here.” You moaned as you moved his fingers directly on your clothed panties.

A hum emitted from Tony, he left a peck on the corner of your mouth, “Good girl.” You felt the warmth of his body leave, and you perched yourself up by your elbows to see that he was kneeling down, face to face with your heat. A whimper leaves your lips at the sight, and you wanted to combust in that moment. Tony’s eyes darkened, and he gave you a raised eyebrow before he began to place kisses on your inner thighs, “What do you want? My fingers or tongue.” You only whined in response, “You gotta tell me what to do here, honey. I’m just following what you want.”

“Your tongue.” You gasped. You felt your eyes tearing up from desperation and want, “Tony, please.”

Tony chuckled, “Aren’t you a needy little brat?” He leaned closer to place a soft kiss on your clothed heat, and your hips stuttered forward, but Tony was quick to hold you in place. He slowly pulled off your panties and groaned, “Fuck, look at you. So pretty and perfect for me.” Without hesitation, he dove in, licking up your center like a man possessed.

You moaned loudly and gripped on his hair tightly, your back arched off the desk, “Tony!” He moaned against you, the vibrations causing your eyes to roll back. He sucked on your clit harshly making you grind against his face with a whine, the feeling of his nose brushing against you made you tighten your hold on him. “More, please. More.” He followed your request and added two fingers into your heat, curling them up to reach that spot inside of you, and he knew he reached it when a loud moan left your lips, causing him to smirk against you. He expertly pumped them in and out simultaneously with his tongue, bringing you closer to the edge. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

Tony felt you clench around his fingers and pulled back, licking his lips, “Come for me, sweetheart.” You arched your back, eyes rolling back as you thrusted into his fingers. He leaned back down to flatten his tongue against your folds before sucking on your clit, the simulation of that made you come undone.

Tony pulled back and grinned at the breathless sight of you, chest heaving up and down with pants and eyes hazy. You watched as Tony licked his fingers clean, moaning at the taste of you, and you never wanted to jump onto someone so fast before in your life.

“Did I make it up to you?” Tony asked with an amused grin. He leaned down to place a kiss on your lips.

You nodded in response, still out of it, “Tony—”

“Mr. Stark, your order has arrived.” Jarvis’ voice announced, and you jumped in surprise.

Tony stared up at the ceiling for a second before chuckling; he trailed his gaze back down to you and smirked, “Lunch’s here, honey.”

[chlorinecake]

HURTS, DOESN'T IT? ✦ — 𝐉.𝐒𝐂 👾

▹ PAIRING: Boyfriend Sungchan x F. Reader

▹ SYNOPSIS: While at an arcade party to celebrate Halloween alongside your boyfriend and his friends, one random activity leads to another before you two find yourselves completely wasted and horny as fuck…

▹ WARNINGS: KINKTOBER SPECIAL, swearing, kissing, halloween themes, impact play, spanking kink, face slapping, giggly (but also very emotionally unstable) protected sex, exhibionism (public bathroom), ft. other kpop idols, mentions & consumption of alcohol, jealousy, that's about it

▹ WORD COUNT: 2.7k — DAY 9

T WAS SOMETIME during the second week in October when your boyfriend Sungchan got a text from his old college buddy about wanting to get in touch at some party.

The occasion was a fashionably early Halloween celebration at a local arcade where there’d be tons of food, good conversation, and entertainment.

Needless to say, the location choice was odd at best, but throwing a house party would’ve been much more expensive anyway.

And of course, knowing that the party could be an unfriendly zone for anyone in a relationship, Sungchan decided to take you with him as a date, both to stay out of trouble and because he didn’t want to leave you home alone that night.

“Babe, look at this,” Sungchan offered as you sat on the couch together, scrolling through a few pins from his Halloween costume Pinterest board. “Which one catches your eye?”

“Hmmm, that one,” you chirped with a smile, pointing to the photo that seemed easiest to recreate...

So, Sungchan ended up dressed as a basketball player and you as his cheerleader girlfriend, and everyone at the party absolutely adored your costumes.

It came to a point where you recall somewhere around 8 people asking to take a photo of you two by the time y’all actually got there, but I digress...

Considering this was a grown-ups-only party, there wasn't any candy or tricks involved, but there was a lot of booze and raunchy shenanigans.

Additionally, the arcade was a space strictly for adults, so you didn't have to worry about any little kids wandering the place or making a disturbing fuss, either.

“Ohhh, look what the cat dragged in,” your boyfriend’s clearly drunk friend remarked upon seeing you, who was ironically dressed as a tipsy-looking Jack Sparrow.

“This is my lovely girlfriend, _____.” Sungchan smiled awkwardly now, “____, Seonghwa... It’s time you two finally meet each other.”

“Nice to meet you, Seonghwa,” you offered as confidently as you could, shaking his hand while saying, “Thanks for having me, by the way.”

“Ahh, don’t mention it... You two lovebugs have fun now though,” Seonghwa slurred, all before stumbling away into the distance.

That’s when you felt Sungchan’s hand slip around your waist, pulling you close to him before whispering, “Is it just me, or are we currently too sober to enjoy this party?”

“No, it’s both of us,” you agreed with a painfully honest nod, making your boyfriend chuckle a bit as you both promptly made your way over to the drinks bar.

But since you step foot in the arcade, you feel like there is a second pair of eyes watching you aside from Sungchan’s, and you could bet on your grave that it is the barista running the bar.

“Hey guys! What can I get for the sexy player and his ditsy fangirl today?” She started sarcastically while annoyingly chewing on a wad of gum with her dark red lips, might I add?

“We’re actually a couple,” Sungchan answered before you could even get a word out, and fortunately so because you certainly didn’t have anything good to say to her.

“We’ll take whatever specials you guys are having tonight,” you began to say while glancing at the drink menu, but she had already helped herself to chatting things up with your boyfriend.

Right.

In.

Front of you…

Just from glancing at her name tag, you knew the skank went by “Samantha G” to most people, which only irritated even more once Sungchan nicknamed her “Sam.”

“You have such a bright smile,” she said, reaching a hand out to touch his arm. “God, and you’re strong,” she chuckled slightly before humming as if someone had just stuck a vibrator in her ass.

“Miss G, don’t forget that you’re hired to serve, not to swoon,” an employee from the back called out to her, and it was easy to hold back the laugh in your throat once Sam replied with:

“Oh, give me a break, Eunseok... Besides, with the outfit I’m wearing, I could easily get away with doing both.”

Gag me with a fucking spoon, you thought to yourself, feeling relieved to see Sungchan peeling that vipers grip away from his arm by her wrist.

“Serving and swooning?” Eunseok repeated with a look of cringe on his face, “You must be mistaking this job with Hooters.”

But nonetheless, Samantha lifted her chin proudly, ignoring his words as if her behavior right now was something to be proud of.

Eventually though, Eunseok got started on making your drinks while Samantha pretended to look busy.

Not wanting to cause any further confusion, you simply ignored her frequent glances towards you two, letting Sungchan pay the bill before walking off to enjoy yourselves.

And as the night continued, you and Sungchan helped yourselves to some pizza next, shooting hoops for a few rounds at the basketball game before eventually delighting yourselves to a Pac-Man tournament.

You obviously lost more than half of the rounds y’all played together, but only because you really needed to stop by the bathroom after all those drinks.

Sungchan cut the game off, returning it back to its default home screen before taking your hand and walking you to the ladies bathroom.

“I’ll be out in a bit,” you told him as you lazily kissed the apple of his cheek before waltzing inside, and he rested his back on the outside of the door, planning to wait until you were finished.

Though, you were starting to take a lot longer than promised, causing Sungchan to grow a bit suspicious...

So, being the rule-breaker that he often was whenever he drank too much, he walked inside the women’s bathroom, knocking on the stall door to see if you were okay.

And surprisingly, you weren’t in there throwing up your entire digestive system, so that concluded you fine for the most part...

The only issue was that your pussy wouldn't stop throbbing and leaking arousal all into your underwear, and even after trying to calm yourself down a few times, nothing was working—

“Baby, just let me in before some chick sees me standing here and assumes I’m harassing you,” Sungchan pleaded despite the calmness of his voice, impatient hands finding the pockets on his track pants.

“Fine, but I’m only letting you in if you promise to help me,” you pouted as if he could see you, and he let himself giggle at the whiny tone of your voice right now.

“Help you with what? Wiping yourself?” Sungchan teased, but all of that stopped once you opened the door to pull him inside.

“No, asshole… I seriously need you right now,” you whined again, and he kissed you, cupping your face in one hand and supporting the small of your back with another.

“I only did that to shut you up, by the way,” Sungchan muttered upon breaking from the kiss, turning back to open the door and leave. “Now let’s go back...”

“Channie, please…” You tugged on his arm.

“I’m not staying here in a women’s bathroom stall with you, ____,” he whisper-scolded.

“But I want you to be in here,” you went on, clinging to his arm like a koala in distress...

Sungchan sighed, finally closing the door back so you could stop whining. “Okay, baby, what’s all this really about... hm?”

You stayed quiet, only reaching inside the cup of your bra to pull out a condom packed in shiny blue foil.

“Baby,” Sungchan breathed out with a soft smile, finally realizing the true motive for your sudden change in behavior: “Why’re you letting that barista girl get to you?”

“I dunno, why’re you bringing her up?” You retorted, closing your hand around the condom you held, but Sungchan found your hand anyway, opening it back up and taking the condom himself.

“Because you’re obviously still bothered about how she was acting with me,” he returned, undoing his track pants while keeping eye contact with you, “and that’s okay... Even I get jealous sometimes.”

“I wasn’t jealous of that skank,” you correct him.

“Then what were you, baby?… Tell me…”

“I was... upset,” you admitted through a gulp once he freed his cock from his pants, and he was surprisingly somewhat hard already just from talking to you, “There’s a difference, y’know?”

“Sure... but what upset you?”

“That... that you just let her touch you and... and talk to you as if I wasn’t standing right fucking there,” you said with a frustrated tone, feeling your skin shiver at the sudden sound of him tearing the foil packaging before sliding the rubber over his tip and down his shaft.

“I’m sorry I made you feel that way, then." Sungchan apologized, and either being too drunk to notice or even care that he was being sarcastic, you closed the space between you two, looking him straight in the eye with your own lust-filled ones.

And before you knew it, he had your back against the wall, fucking his thickness into your sopping cunt as you clung to his shoulders, eyes shut with overwhelming pleasure.

Given the crammed space in the stall, it wasn't very easy to move around in there, let alone with two fully grown people. Though, at least one benefit was that the arcade restrooms weren’t like the cheesy ones with zero privacy...

The stalls were fully sealed all around, almost like a closet with a toilet in it, and judging from the thick wooden walls, they were pretty soundproof too for the most part.

His hands gripped at your ass as pretty little grunts fell from his lips, and all you could hear in the back of your mind was Samantha’s irritating voice.

“K-kiss me,” you breathed out suddenly, and Sungchan did just that, finding your lips in his own as you kissed him passionately, trembling at the sensation of his hands spreading your cheeks as he held you tighter.

That’s when you took his lower lip between your teeth, biting down hard enough to leave a mark.

“Fuck,” he swore as quietly as he could, and you released his lip, only because you wanted to see the pained look on his face as he kept fucking you.

“Why the hell did you bite me so hard, ____?”

“Hurts, doesn’t it?” You returned with a whisper, and he only hung his head, snickering to himself before looking back up to meet your eyes.

“You’re fucking crazy, y’know tha—ahhh...” His voice trailed off, but only because your walls kept clenching around him, your slick coating his entire pelvis now given how wet you were... though, your physical arousal didn't match your visible pleasure...

“Why're you holding your sounds in, huh?” Your boyfriend huffed, only to chuckle slightly at the docile look of sexual desperation overtaking your face now, “still trying to stay mad at me for no reason?”

“Even if I was, you're literally laughing at everything right now, so it'd be pointless,” you said with a surprisingly stable voice, only to tighten your jaw at how slow he was dragging his cock against your walls now, making you focus on every last inch of his length as he slid in and out of you, slow and steady...

“Stop that,” your voice came out strained, and you turned your face from him to hide how effected you truly were, but when his hands fiercely gripped at the sensitive flesh of your hips, you couldn't stop yourself from wincing.

“So bossy today,” he replied with a smirk, biting his own lip at the sight of your tough girl act crumbling before him.

“Go faster already, Sungchan,” you sighed with desperation, hating how he was delaying your release by going so slowly

“I'm sure Samantha wouldn't mind me fucking her at this speed,” he snickered, ghosting his hot breath right below your ear.

“The closest that bitch is ever getting to you again is in... in a dream,” you stammered out incoherently, but only because he was sucking on your neck now, surely leaving a mark as his hips finally picked up the pace.

“I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you,” Sungchan mumbles through grunts in between kissing your flesh, making your eyes go in and out of focus the faster he pistoled his cock into you. “She’s probably waiting for me in the stall beside us... touching herself while she listens to us fuck... wishing it was her—”

Smack!

You slapped him clean across the face, cutting off his words with your bitter force, and you’re not sure if that’s what makes his eyes appear watery at first...

Though, maybe, it was the feeling of your snug walls sucking him back in that made him tear up a bit, and it didn’t help how you subconsciously rolled your hips against his, desperate for more friction.

“Feel better after doing that, angel?” Sungchan asked in a wobbly voice now, and you could tell he was getting close just from how pronounced his veins looked now, coupled with the additional saliva pooling in his mouth.

Before you could even answer, he was back to kissing you, and his skilled tongue, despite all the drama it had caused thus far, was making you feel so good right now...

The contact was so sloppy, and primal even, with his powerful hips pushing through their own stuttering as he chased his high, spanking the swell of your ass to get your attention.

“I asked you a question, didn’t I, baby?” He offered through his adorably labored breaths, still trying to get that reply out of you before y’all left the stall.

Smack.

His large hand hit your ass again, making you jump against the wall as the painful sting traveled throughout your entire body, part of it turning you on somewhat.

“Sungchan,” you panted, tracing the swollen part of his lower lip that you had bit earlier, and now you were starting to feel your eyes tear up, too, “I’m sorry, I... I don’t know what made me do that.”

“It’s okay, angel, we’re both drunk out of our minds right now,” his voice began with a weak giggle, just as his arms were starting to feel numb for holding you for so long.

Fusing your back with the wall, you were shocked to feel that Sungchan could possibly reach even deeper inside you, and it was only with a few more thrusts while coupled with the pleasured whimpers you finally let out for him that your boyfriend reached his climax.

“Fuck, baby... ahh... nghh... fuckkk,” a string of curse words spilled from your lips, but Sungchan covered your mouth almost instantly once he heard someone open the bathroom entry door.

“Mmm,” you hummed again, but he shushed you with a finger, hearing a stall open and close just a few feet away from you before their footsteps stopped.

And you couldn’t be more lucky that there was faint music playing from the speakers, provoking you and Sungchan to get back dressed as fast as y’all could while you still had a chance at doing so undetected.

Your feet hit the ground with a gentle thud once he released you from his grasp, and you both smiled at how ridiculous you both felt in this moment.

Slipping off his soiled condom, he discarded it down the toilet, pinning you against the wall to find your lips in yet another harsh kiss as he hummed softly, “We’re never going to a party like this again, right?”

“Agreed,” you said back, readjusting your cheer skirt and panties as your boyfriend slid his pants up, ruffling his hair a few times before finally opening the stall door to leave...

Both of your emotions were always like a rollercoaster whenever you got drunk. One second you were both a bunch of moody lug nuts, and then the next, you two were practically inseparable...

With your arm hooked in Sungchan’s, you rested your head on his stature as he led you out of the bathroom stall, and you weren’t all that surprised to spot Samantha there, wide-eyed and confused as you and him casually walked out together.

“Did you guys... Why were you both?... Wait…"   Samantha’s voice trailed off as she tried her hardest to get a coherent sentence out but failed nonetheless once Sungchan and you started giggling to each other before walking out the restroom.

And you’re certain the stall you two had just left reeked of body warmth and sex, but being too drunk to spare a care, you both waved everyone off before heading home, only to flat out crash on your shared mattress and sleep the night away while still wearing your costumes...

⋆♱✮ Thanks to everyone who made it to the end of DAY 9's fic entry for my Kinktober Event !! This is a bit shitty tbh, but nonetheless, if you're interested in reading more works like this, feel free to check out my main enhypen masterlist or my kinktober masterlist by clicking one of these links :3

⋆♱✮ PERMANANT TAGLIST:

@squoxle, @nishiimuranights, @ashgonedash

@yourmomscuntis2tighy, @wonbinisbabygurl

@watamotee33, @addictedtohobi, @ot7sevenlvr

⋆♱✮ KINKTOBER TAGLIST:

@pasteltheghost16 @fawnpeaks @melonvrs

@mheretoreadff @skzfelixlove @inishij

@yaorzu-blog @andromedawillburyyou @ramyeonzprincess

@zaihypen @simjaeyunns @gardenwonnies @hynier

@idontknowhowtomakeusernames @enhymeowz @minhosimthings @stormy1408

@crownj1min @jay-0n3s @gacktsa @leeknowinggg

@d-dilemma @mrsjohnnysuh

[solifloris]

≡;-꒰ 𝐗𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐄𝐑 ꒱₊˚ ପ⊹ I  𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒂 𝒔𝒌𝒚 𝒇𝒊𝒍𝒍𝒆𝒅 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒉𝒆𝒔…

╰┈➤ ❝ xavier x afab!reader | 18+ only

tags : kinda pwp (without plot) but like uhhh a poetic version i guess?, like actually don't expect anything super explicit for this askjhgs, more introspective and prose-y (aka less dialogue involved), loosely inspired by "inflorescence imprints" but no direct card spoilers, xavier glows when he's happy (bc this is my new personality and i'm including this in all the xavier fics ever /hj), slow dancing in a field, kisses and making out, wandering hands, heavy petting, oral (f. receiving), semi-public setting (open (empty) field), let's ignore the technicalities of open field shenanigans yes? yes.

wc : ~2k

an : i lied when i said i would get a fic done before april ended, so HAPPY MAY !!! THAT WAS MY LIE IN APRIL hehe <3 bc the title is from 'hikaru nara' aka the first opening song of 'your lie in april' <3 (since i was supposed to post this yesterday when it was Still April…) (but you're with me on the xavmc your lie in april parallels right…)

taglist : under the cut! (SIGN UP HERE)

ko-fi jar / commissions

In this meadow full of flowers, the two of you are the only ones who exist.

Did you need music to dance?

Your feet touched the grass, light steps gliding to the gentle crunching beneath every little movement. A rhythm, in the silence. Soft, whispered melodies of the night, flown delicately into the passing breeze.

One, two, three; one, two, three; one, two, three; one, two, three.

It was easier, this time. You knew this dance. You knew these steps. Three counts in a measure, feet on the ground with every count… practiced movements, now freer, now easier. After all that time you'd spent with him in his living room under the dim lights of his apartment, you'd gotten used to it. One step forward, two steps back—one, two, three; one, two, three; one, two, three.

And, yet, this time… you didn't need to count, not really.

This was a waltz, yes; this was a dance, yes.

But an open field lay no constraints.

All you'd needed was one phrase of invitation—

Dance with me.

It was your lead, after all.

With a warm hand in yours, the other placed on your waist, expert ease allowed him to keep to the rhythm. He was used to it, far more than you were. The grass didn't deter him, nor the soil beneath your feet. Your arms felt lighter, steps more nimble; a more relaxed atmosphere surrounded the both of you as barefooted steps whirled around in the meadow belonging only to both of you.

And Xavier was always gentle.

Xavier was always patient.

Even now when he smiled at you, even now when he'd adjusted his footing ever so slightly to guide you into the right direction, he would still skillfully guide you to follow him. You'd made a misstep—the first one of the night. An achievement, on your part, for lasting so long without making one. It was enough so to earn a chuckle from him as he drew you in.

"Good," he murmured, quiet like the evening, firm like the stars in the sky that night. "You've gotten better."

Xavier was always gentle. Even in your error, he still quietly nudged you along.

And as moonlight spilled across the open meadow, filtering through his hair, painting silver over the flora surrounding… You didn't need music. You knew that well enough. Your hold on him relaxed, your head dipped down to rest on his shoulder… It was less of a waltz, now, and more of a simple slow dance, but he adjusted. Careful, unhurried. Easy. And, now, it was as if the night itself had paused to watch the two of you.

This was all you could have ever needed.

Every step and every twirl, every movement floating above the field—his hands held you close, securely nestling you into him. He smelled like cinnamon, like warm vanilla. He felt like spring afternoons, like this field of flowers now attuned so specifically to him that you were sure you wouldn't look at another lily without drawing in thoughts of him.

It didn't take you too long to realize that this rhythm you'd been dancing to was entirely his—

You didn't need music; his heart was enough. He was enough.

The clouds, the sky, the grass, the flowers, the dew drops of silvery light from the moon above… all orchestrated like twinkling stars in the night sky, rendered solely to match the beatings of your heart.

That was music enough.

A melody so free-flowing, so smooth, so—

So everything.

So you waited with baited breath, trust in his every move, a melody to the will of its conductor. And your body fell pliant to his hands as he dipped you low against the grass.

Rise, fall; rise, fall.

The dance had ended—

The music had not.

"Xavier," you murmured. You liked the sound of his name—liked the way his lips twitched when you said it, the way the tips of his ears turned the slightest bit of red when your gaze lingered a little longer. "Xavier."

Again.

Cradled gently in his arms, the next measure of the piece had begun anew.

"Xavier."

It was his turn to settle into you, draw you close enough for his forehead to meet your shoulder. His breath proved unsteady, fingers trembling slightly with a single caress down the curve of your spine. Silence gave way to apprehension—yet, sometimes, music would speak for itself.

You let him wander.

Eyes raised to meet yours, blue and bright. This man in your arms, you knew, was yet another star—but one that could have settled in the sky yet chose, instead, to stay here with you.

"Xavier."

Every whisper of his name made him bolder.

Gentlemanly touches turned coy, trails and caresses added a subtle knead against every expanse of skin he could find. And then his hand dipped beneath your skirt—

"Xavier…"

His touch stuttered.

More.

Again you felt him nuzzle into your shoulder, shifting slightly to rest in the crook of your neck. Lips met your skin—a warm welcome against the chill of the evening, soft kisses trailing your nape before he let out a quiet groan.

"You make me so impatient," he whispered. "A star doesn't forget to shine, but, I… think this one… shines even brighter when it's with you…"

Teeth grazed at the base of your neck.

Slowly, you felt yourself falling. Light as a feather, down to a bed of flowers, he caged you between his arms and nudged at your jaw.

"And, you make me feel… free," he groaned. "So much, I… can't…"

Your eyes closed.

You didn't stop him.

It had long since been a symphony of his own making; kisses littered all over your skin like notes on a page as the sleeves of your dress pushed aside and you wouldn't dare keep the music from playing.

"You are my freedom."

He said it in a hushed whisper.

You'd have missed it, almost; drowned in the way he would nip at your skin and then soothe with a lick. But a moment passed as he raised his head to look at you, then. Your skin felt ablaze, eyes easily beginning to fog with a cloud of lust you were familiar with, and…

Closer.

Closer.

There was no need to reply to that.

Unsteady vision focused only on him as he moved in, thumb grazing your lower lip before finally—finally—

He kissed you.

Feather-light, soft. Slow; warm. His hand reached to gently cup your chin and tilt you towards him, and there was no rush. Only the quiet hum of devotion seemed to flow through the way he pressed his lips to yours, over, and over, and over, and over—

You're unreal. You thought it, yet you couldn't speak it.

You're like starlight. He thought it, yet he couldn't speak it.

But you could see it in your peripheral—the glow of the moonlight did nothing to hide the specks of light mixing in with the tufts of his hair; daresay these shined even brighter.

And you knew what that meant.

Xavier glows when he's happy.

And the scent of crushed petals filled the space between the two of you, evening wrapping around you like silk as you fell. Deeper, deeper—kisses gave way to a desire blooming parallel to the blooms that carried you, fingers tangling in each other's hair as you turned and rolled in that little bed of flowers. Down then trailed his kisses, a resumption of his earlier exploration; every kiss and every touch carried with it a whispered promise of devotion.

…Devotion.

You felt your legs part pliantly to the nudging of his hands, and then you felt it again.

Devotion.

How was it that?

He'd find so much freedom in you, and yet worship you with such tender aching that you gasped.

He held you with such love.

Ever slow, and rhythmic, and deliberate—still the symphony moved onwards, with every caress, every trace of his tongue mirroring constellations twinkling above. Your back arched, allowed him to dive into you. You gripped his hair tightly while the other curled into the earth below, and you knew what it was that he truly felt.

He'd been telling the truth.

In the end, never before had you seen him so unbridled in his desire.

Yet, there was something different now—gentle, as always, but… more certain. More sure. As if truly, in loving you, something inside him had unchained. His movements stayed reverent, hands gliding over your skin as if they belonged, kisses deep and intimate and so determined to bring you to your high—

You had been wrong.

This was not a melody that had been orchestrated by him.

Your breath caught in your throat, because it was him. He who gave himself to the rhythm of your very being; he who danced to the tune of what you had commanded.

He would follow you.

He would adjust for you.

Each flick of his tongue against your sex was more than just a vow—it was surrender.

He could speak—I am yours.

And a quiet moan filled the air between you as you writhed beneath his touch, writhed beneath the intensity of his love, the weight with which he had resigned himself to carry for your sake.

"Am I not… your undoing?"

You swallowed thickly as your words spoke out of your moans, and you threaded your fingers through his hair.

"Am I not… selfish?"

No reply.

Stars clouded your eyes—he wouldn't stop.

His mouth latched onto you as his hands roamed your body once more, and he didn't dare to look up to meet your eyes, yet he continued. His tongue thrust inside you, thumb reaching down to circle where you needed him most.

Perhaps the answer to those questions was yes. Perhaps the answer had been one he'd come to accept so long ago. Something so sacred as love, so precious as freedom… so terrifying as sacrifice…

His eyes raised to look at you as you cried out his name, a sputtering chant as you arched into his mouth and the sky above became clearer.

Your thighs trembled. Your breath fell in uneven staccato pants; the music had now begun its diminuendo.

And all of this; all of these feelings, all these values… They'd been given to you by the very man that you loved. You were his freedom, he would say—yet in these words unspoken, you understood. Understood that in giving himself to you completely, then he'd chosen to be bound—Because he wished to be.

You had never meant to own him.

But there was that look on his face.

Xavier's eyes were half-lidded; satisfied— He had poured out everything and anything, all for your sake, and, that look, you—

"I…"

Another swallow, and swift movements pushed him back against the flowers.

"I want… to choose, too," you whispered. "I choose you, too."

Legs drawn on either side of him, you straddled his hips, reaching between you, taking ahold of him.

As the swollen tip brushed against your entrance, your legs quivered.

A smile tugged on your lips as you took note of that little telltale sign of his relief.

Xavier glows when he's happy.

Tentatively, you reached out to sift your hand through the glowing particles of light floating around you.

Ah, Xavier… You'll let me be a little selfish for wanting this… won't you?

You leaned in to kiss him as his hands found your hips, and slowly, slowly, he sank you down onto him. Moans muffled into your kiss, hands cradling his cheeks as you wished, wished, wished that you could mirror the way he had loved you, even as you let him guide your hips to your own undoing both.

If the night doesn't end, then the stars won't leave, will they? you thought.

In that case, then… From a sky filled with wishes, I wish, that… I…

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[lumosandnoxwriting]

look at you || Fred Weasley

Title: Look at you Pairing: Fred x Reader Summary: distance really does make the heart grow fonder. Warnings: NSFW - minors DNI! This contains, vaginal sex, female receiving oral, breeding kink, mentions of cum marking, dirty talk, praise, mentions of sex toys/sexting and pregnant sex.  A/N: hockey!fred could hit me with his car and I would say thank you. Anyway as always this is dedicated to @darthwheezely b/c she always encourages my shenanigans. 

The away games are always the hardest. 

Fred is usually gone for a week, and between traveling, playing multiple games and the time differences they mainly communicate via text and maybe a phone call if they’re lucky. At first the lack of communication bothered Y/N. They moved across the country after Fred got drafted and it felt isolating to have the only person she knew in Washington unavailable most of the time. But now that Fred’s in the fourth year of his contract Y/N is a pro at handling the distance. Her and a bunch of the other WAGS always get together to watch the games at someone’s house, and usually do dinner or brunch on some of the days the guys are gone. And now that she’s working and more involved in the area she’s got plenty of friends and activities to keep her busy while Fred is away. 

She figured this season would be just like the others, that it would suck while Fred is gone but she’d just keep busy until he was back home in their bed. 

Until those two little pink lines stared up at her from the bathroom counter the night before training camp started. She wasn’t totally surprised at the result, considering her and Fred had been together for a decade, married for half of that and regularly relying on the pullout method as their main form of contraception. And of course they’d talked about having kids, but their general consensus had been that they would start trying once the season was underway, hoping to time it just right that their baby would be born at the beginning of the off season, so they could spend the first few months as a complete family unit before hockey took over Fred’s life again. 

But of course life decided to say fuck their plans, and now Y/N is due to give birth just before playoffs begin in April. 

Y/N had thought that having Fred gone during her first trimester would be the worst part of it, having to deal with morning sickness and those first few doctors appointments by herself. But the nausea and vomiting left her feeling so gross she was glad Fred didn’t have to see her like that, and they were able to work with her doctor so that Fred didn’t miss a single appointment. 

It’s now, with Y/N into her second trimester that Fred’s absence seems to be hitting her the hardest. Her bump has finally popped, and she can barely keep her hands from stroking over the smooth skin at all hours of the day. The baby has started to move around too, starting off as gently flutters she assumed was gas that have now grown into distinctive pushes against her belly. Not to mention the nausea and vomiting that plagued her first few months of pregnancy have faded away, and Y/N finally understands what people say when they talk about pregnancy glow. Her skin is the clearest and softest it’s ever been, and her hair and nails look amazing thanks to her prenatal vitamins. 

And just as she passed the five month mark her newest, and most annoying to deal with on her own, pregnancy symptom started. 

She’s unbelievably horny every hour of the day. 

Her newly filed out breasts constantly ache, and some days her nipples are so sensitive just the material of her bra sends a shiver down her spine. Her pussy is almost constantly slick, her clit throbbing and her cunt aching to be filled. Once the seam of her maternity jeans pulled so deliciously against her as she was driving that she nearly crashed the car as she came from that brush alone. 

Everything seems to turn her on these days, no matter how inconvenient the time or place is. 

Like right now, the guys are on the last leg of their longest away game stretch, the final game of a two and a half week trip, and her cunt is dripping as she watches Fred punch the other team’s center in the jaw. Not only is it inconvenient because she’s sitting on Melaine, the goalie’s girlfriend’s couch, but because Fred isn’t due back home until tomorrow afternoon and she passed out last night before she could put her vibrator back on the charger. And her own fingers will never live up to the memories of how worked up Fred gets after a fight, and how the only thing that seems to calm him down is taking Y/N from behind as he growls in her ear. 

She tries to shift subtly as the ref throws Fred in the sin bin, his mouth still moving wildly as he throws insults at the other team, but when Rachel throws her a look Y/N knows she’s been caught. Rachel is the wife of one of the defensemen, and had been heavily pregnant for most of last year’s season, so Y/N figures she knows exactly how she’s feeling right now. 

“Tomorrow afternoon can’t come soon enough,” Rachel teases, voice low enough so only the two of them can hear. 

Y/N snorts in laughter, nodding in agreement. “You have no idea.”

-

Fred throws a middle finger over his shoulder as he rushes towards his truck, causing his teammates to laugh even harder. The bus had barely stopped before he was up out of his seat and making his way to the front, far too eager to get home to Y/N. Because the texts she’s been sending since he got off the ice last night have had him perpetually hard in his pants and the only thing on his mind is getting home to his wife. 

He drives well over the speed limit on his way home, praying to whatever deity that exists out there he won’t get pulled over, since he’s pretty sure his urgent need to fuck his wife is not a good enough excuse to get out of a ticket. The car is barely in park as Fred throws the door open, hockey bag left behind in his haste to get inside. In a matter of a few seconds he’s barreling through the front door, taking the time to lock it behind him before he heads for the stairs. 

“Baby?” he calls as he climbs, ripping his shirt off as he goes. He pauses to kick his shoes off, just letting them tumble back down as he continues up. 

“Hi,” Y/N greets breathlessly when Fred appears in their doorway. Her eyes are immediately drawn to the way his jeans hang open, his cock clearly fighting against the material of his boxers. 

Fred groans as he takes Y/N in, cock throbbing at the way she kneels on their bed in nothing but his jersey. The curve of her bump is visible even in the oversized garment, and Fred almost can’t believe that this is his life. He makes a living playing the sport he loves and every night he gets to come home to the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen who’s beauty has only grown as he watches his child grow inside of her. 

“Fucking hell,” he practically growls as he steps into the room, his complete focus on Y/N. “Do you have any idea how fucking sexy you are, wife? That picture of your pretty pink pussy all wet and begging for my cock has been driving me crazy. I couldn’t sleep knowing you were all alone in our bed, desperate for my cock wearing nothing but my jersey.”

Y/N practically pants as Fred stalks toward her, hands clenched in fists at her sides to try and resist the urge to touch herself. She had to give herself a pep talk before taking the photo she sent, so to see Fred’s reaction to it here in the flesh makes her cunt throb with want. Before falling asleep Y/N had managed to work herself up to a few weak orgasms with her fingers, but those are nothing in comparison to what she knows Fred is about to give her. 

“Sexy?” she asks teasingly. Fred has finally made it to the edge of the bed, and she runs her hands up his arms and over his shoulders, resting her palms against the sides of his neck. “Even with my big old bump in the way?” 

“Especially with your big bump in the way,” Fred practically purrs. He finally gives in to his urge to touch his wife, one hand hooking around her thigh while the other fists the front of her jersey, yanking her closer to him. “Just knowing that you’re full of my baby, that I did that to you is enough to make me cum, something I know you’re well aware of.”

And she knows Fred isn’t lying. He’d always been possessive in the bedroom, and it only intensified when she got pregnant. Once her bump popped Fred was like a man possessed, needing to have one hand on it at all times. He’s finished on her bump more times than Y/N can count, rubbing his cum into her skin so he can claim her fully. 

Instead of responding Y/N lets Fred pull her into a kiss, her fingers tangling in the hair at the base of his skull as he nibbles on her bottom lip. He claims her mouth with his, crawling up on the bed so he can get even closer. The hand he had on her jersey makes its way up to cup her jaw, angling Y/N’s face so he can kiss her deeper, while the one that was on her thigh starts to travel further up.  

“Fuck,” Fred moans into her mouth as his hand brushes her bare hip. “No panties? Dirty girl.” He lets his hand cup the swell of her stomach, thumb slowly brushing back and forth in a sweet gesture that is the total opposite of the way he kisses his wife. 

“Please,” Y/N pants as Fred’s mouth finally leaves her’s, starting to press kisses into her neck. “Need you to touch me, Freddie, only feels good when it’s you.”

“Well how can I deny my wife when she asks so nicely?” 

Fred kisses the juncture of her throat one last time before pulling away just enough so he can pick her up under her thighs. He positions her back on the bed just how he wants, her back flat against the mattress with her legs spread wide, a hand on each thigh to keep them open for him. 

“You’re fucking cunt,” he groans, his eyes drawn to her slick pussy as he bites his lip. He sinks down on the bed so he’s resting between her thighs, thumb and forefinger spreading her pussy apart to put her clit on display. “This pussy is going to be the death of me.”

Y/N gasps as Fred finally puts his mouth on her, hips nearly lifting off the bed as he sucks her clit between his lips. Her toes curl as his tongue flattens against her, thighs already quivering as Fred’s thumb presses against her entrance. “God, please, Fred.”

That’s all the encouragement he needs to fuck into her with his index finger, curling it to press against the front wall of her cunt, right against the spot that has her moaning his name. His cock twitches as Y/N’s hand tangles in his hair, curling his tongue around her clit as she tugs. 

“Such a good girl,” Fred praises as he presses another finger into her slick cunt, letting his thumb rub small circles into her clit. “I love this pretty pussy so much, wife. Gonna eat it every fucking day of the week.”

He takes her clit back between his lips as he fucks her with his fingers, needing her to cum before he can give her what they both desperately need. His cock aches as Y/N grinds down against his face, the feel of her taking control of her pleasure only turning him on more. Fred’s tongue flicks at her clit as his lips suck, and he can tell by the way her cunt grips his fingers that she’s close. 

“Cum for me, baby. Cum all over my hand so I can have you cumming all over my cock.”

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Y/N babbles as Fred licks her, fingers tugging him even closer into her as she grinds against him. Waves of pleasure are swirling in her core, electric shocks radiating all down her spine as Fred brings her closer and closer to the edge. He makes her feel like she’s on fire, completely erasing the few weak orgasms she had last night from her memory.

Fred wraps his arm around her thigh to keep Y/N in place as her orgasm takes over, his fingers and mouth still working her through the pleasure. Y/N’s toes curl as pleasure consumes her, thighs quivering as a cry of Fred’s name leaves her lips. Aftershocks of pleasure send shivers down her spine, and Y/N has to use her grip on Fred’s hair to separate his mouth from her cunt as she comes down. 

He doesn’t say anything as he crawls back up the bed, letting Y/N catch her breath before he leans down to kiss her softly. Her legs wrap around his hips, the need for Fred to be close overwhelming her need to get off for a brief moment. 

“Need you inside me,” Y/N murmurs against Fred’s mouth, her legs tightening around him. 

“Needy girl,” Fred teases, nipping at her jaw. But with one final kiss to her lips he pulls back, climbing off the bed so he can rid himself of the rest of his clothes. Who is he to deny the needs of his wife, the woman growing his child? 

Y/N makes a move to pull the jersey she’s wearing up over her head, and Fred grabs her wrist, shaking his head. 

“No, the jersey stays on.”

Fred’s pretty sure he hears her mumble something about him being a possessive idiot, but he doesn’t even care. Settling on the bed, back against the headboard with his cock leaking against his stomach, he beckons Y/N closer. “Come sit on my lap and make yourself cum on my cock, baby.”

Under normal circumstances she’d make some joke about how he’s making her do all the work, but her cunt is already aching again and if she doesn’t get Fred’s cock in the next three minutes she may die. Y/N crawls up the bed, shivering at the look in Fred’s eyes. It’s full of nothing but pure desire, and she can feel her heartbeat pulsing in her clit. At one point she feared that pregnancy may change the way Fred looks at her, and now as she straddles his waist Y/N can’t believe what an idiot she had been. 

One of Fred’s hands lands on her hip, the other on her bump and the contact sends a shiver down her spine. It takes a little bit of finesse with her bump in the way, but as soon as Y/N has Fred’s cock pressed against her cunt she’s sinking down. She’s slick enough from Fred’s mouth and her previous orgasm that she presses down until she’s fully seated in his lap, and her eyes flutter shut from the pleasure coursing through her veins. 

Fred is so thick and full inside her, and Y/N just sits there in his lap, eyes closed and her head tilted back as she appreciates the feel of him inside her. Y/N’s cunt pulses around him, and with how desperate she’s been to feel her husband like this, she already feels embarrassingly close to her climax already. 

“Fuck you are perfect,” Fred groans as her hips start to gently rock. He fixes her jersey so the hem rests on the top of her bump, wanting to see it in all of its glory. With one hand squeezing her thigh, Fred places the other on her stomach to help keep her balance. “So fucking full aren’t you, wife? So full of my cock and my baby, hm? Love being full of me, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she responds breathily, leaning back to brace herself against Fred’s thighs. The new angle lets him sink even deeper, and a sharp gasp falls from her mouth at the sensation. “Always wanna be full like this.”

“With my baby or my cock?” he teases. 

“Both,” Y/N hits back truthfully.

“Fuck,” Fred growls, unable to keep his hips from thrusting. The moan that comes from Y/N spurs him on, and he continues to match her movements with his own. “Whatever my wife wants my wife gets. Gonna keep you nice and full with my cock and my cum and my babies until we’ve got a whole fucking hockey team, baby. And no one will ever doubt who you, who this fucking pussy, belongs too.”

Her cunt clenches even tighter at his words, encouraging Fred to keep talking. 

“Look at you, my pretty little wife, fucking herself on my cock. Bet you thought about this the whole time I was gone, didn’t you, love?”

“Fuck, yes,” Y/N moans. She’s inching closer and closer to her orgasm with each of her movements, thighs quivering from a mixture of the pleasure swirling in her core and the effort it’s taking to fuck herself on Fred’s cock. 

“Fuck you look so good like this, baby,” Fred praises. “Not gonna be able to take you like this much longer, am I? I swear everytime I look at you, your belly is bigger. It’s not long until you’ll be too big to ride me like this, isn’t that right, love? But that’s okay, because you look so fucking good all full of my baby. Seeing you like this, knowing I did this, makes me feel fucking feral, baby. You’re doing such a great job, growing our baby. Gonna be such a good Mama.”

The combination of Fred’s cock stretching Y/N to her limits and the constant stream of praise coming from Fred pushes Y/N over the edge, and her back arches as she comes. Shocks of pleasure jolt out from her cunt, her clit aching and her toes curling as her orgasm washes over her in waves. 

The feel of Y/N’s walls pulsing around Fred’s cock as she moans his name pushes him to his own climax, his hips just barely pushing up into her as he empties himself into her eager cunt. 

“Taking it so well, baby. Fuck.”

He places a hand on her lower back for support as they both come down, the hand he has on her bump rubbing soothing circles into the skin. When having her in his lap starts to get uncomfortable, Fred carefully lifts her off, maneuvering so he can lay Y/N next to him on the bed without jostling her too much. 

Finally feeling satisfied, Y/N watches Fred move around their room through her barely open eyes, too tired to try and stay awake any longer. She lets him move her around too clean up, a soft whine coming from her lips when he pulls the jersey up and off over her head. But she’s immediately placated when Fred helps her into one of his old t-shirts, and she doesn’t even fight him as he pulls sleep shorts up her legs. 

He disappears into their bathroom then, and Y/N is practically asleep by the time he reemerges and gets into bed beside her. But instead of Fred pulling her into his arms like she expected, her eyes open in surprise as Fred pushes up the hem of her shirt just enough to expose her bump.

“What are you doing?” she murmurs, tone laced with humor. 

“What does it look like?” Fred responds as he pours lotion into his hands, rubbing them together to warm it up. He cradles her stomach carefully, slowly starting to massage her skin. “I’m taking care of both of my girls.”