#realest shit i’ve ever seen

[moejessepinkman]

[literatureandshit]

i am a kastle and mattfoggy truther!

[um-vvhat]

A LIE DETECTOR AKAIKAJANNANSHJSJSJAJ

[industrations]

Sirius and Regulus being the hottest, baddest bitches in the room and immediately deciding that they carnally desire the most awkward looking bastards in the vicinity is the realest and most canon thing I’ve ever seen 😍

Look at this wet noodle of a man and tell me he isn’t the hottest shit you’ve ever seen

[willthespy]

Make Nico Ftm!! His autistic ass is NOT gender conforming

Pride Month Day 04 - Nico di Angelo (FTM)

first of all, funny of you to assume I didn’t already make him trans/j

this is deadass one of the realest shit i’ve ever seen in my asks. anon ily ur so right u have no bad takes this is so true!!! also you guys should def send more solangelo/pjo/nico suggestions…there’s a significant lack of it despite my whole page being a big solangelo hyperfixation mess

To anyone unaware (yes, here we go AGAIN), I take suggestions to draw a queer/trans/aro (lgbtq+) character or ship every day for pride month. Anyone can suggest any ship, character, etc. (headcanons or not.) No proshipping obviously. You can always request multiple times! Don’t hide your pride…

[kaidiaries]

civilians literally swooning when they run into spider-man is the realest shit i’ve ever seen

[torturedblue]

It’s the middle of the week, have some dancing turtles

Spoilers below as I gush about my Mutant Mayhem Monday experience 🤗 please feel free to gush with me I wanna hear other people’s thoughts too!

First off… When Seth wanted to put the teenager in TMNT he meant it. Like, all the versions act like teenagers, but like Nickelodeon PG stereotypical teens. MM turtles were the realest PG-13 outta pocket 21st century teenagers I’ve ever seen and I love that shit because it’s the first time I actually felt like I was around the kids in middle school and high school again with the way they talk. Kinda appreciate Superfly cussing too? Like idk it’s Ice Cube and this villain goes hard tryna kill some teenage turtles he formally saw as his lil cousins, let the grown mutant cuss

Also uh, was not expecting to be sad so early in the movie? Like I could tell from the trailers it was gon be an emotional rollercoaster but shit like ten minutes in and these turtles are fuckin depressed. And to see it really hit me because in every other version (except for Bayverse) the turtles literally never let not being part of the human world get to them. In the shows especially they’re so well adjusted and never bothered by sticking to the shadows. Then there’s Rise where they pretty much go out whenever they want and indulge in most of the human world stuff they want to. For these guys to be so stunted and desperate to have more freedom was so heart wrenching. Especially when Splinter grounds them for a whole month and the reality sinks in of how much they know the life they want isn’t an option for them

Wasn’t expecting any kind of ship or romance but that crush Leo has on April hit me like truck because…… holy crap the Leo-April pair has never been a thing? On top of that this is only the second on screen black April we’ve seen and I’ve been a Leo kinnie across the board since day one so to see this combo of my favorite character liking a black girl is making me lose my mind 🥲 and like it got me thinking of several of my favorite shows and the single characters I kin in those and if they’ve ever had black love interests and it’s just still not a common normalized thing honestly.

I’m sure a lot of people aren’t excited for the prospect of ships coming back (especially after 2012 scarred us) but as a Leo lover and black girl it got me so excited to see something like this. I’m just hopeful and optimistic they won’t mess it up like a lot of shows do. The “this is just as friends line” already makes me a little worried bc that trope never has a good history but I have faith they’ll handle things tastefully and not make it toxic or messy

MURDER THE SHREKS!

“I assume you’d wanna be on camera. ‘Cause you have, like a very camera ready look…” OKAY SMOOOOOTH LEONARDOOOOOO 👏🏽

Could not stop laughing while he was shooting his shot my face was literally donnie’s restraining myself from bursting out laughing

Just a couple of my favorite questions that April wrote down for them:

“Do you carry salmonella?” Look I still don’t know wtf salmonella is but it’s the second time a TMNT iteration has joked about it so I’m starting to think it has something specifically to do with turtles 👀

“Have you caught covid?” Oml covid exists in this world

“Are you the source of covid?” OUT OF LINE 💀

“How many people has the red bandana turtle stabbed? Does he need therapy?” Yes.

“Does sunlight cause you to burst into flames?” They’re- they’re not vampires? 😂

Leon Ardo deserves the world and whatever he wants in it give him everything 😭

I will never understand what made Donnie laugh so hard at the name Nardo other than it being because it’s his sibling and that it bothers Leo lmao

All imma say about the puke scene is that I’m glad I heard an “out of context” spoiler about it bc I knew exactly when to look away and I’m glad I did bc the scene lasted for so long??? 😀❓But hey at least I had Unwritten to listen too while I was sparing my eyes 😂

The sequence of them going around and shaking down those gangs and Superfly’s connections. BAD. ASS. And each of them got their own moments to shine? Loved it. Like they each even got to take point and have their moments where they got to kick in the door lol. And the fight scenes were just, muah. Chef’s kiss, they all looked amazing taking grown ass adults down together

Okay Splinter definitely gets the best dad award for putting together that little surprise party, with all the celebrity Chris’s and pretending to wait on them 🥺 so pure. It did make me sad the guys immediately left and you can just see such a sad dejected look on Splinter’s face, knowing he can’t provide what his kids really want or make them happy enough without it 🥲 At the very least they say thanks and that they appreciate but I would’ve at least stayed for a lil bit and gone along with it, Splinter just looked so excited about it and it was so sweet 😭

And he doesn’t even get upset though he knows they’re hiding something, he just says he’ll help them if they’ve gotten into trouble, which is something I’m sure almost every kid has wanted instead of having the kind of relationship where they’re more scared of telling their parents they messed up instead of handling it on their own

I love how musical Superfly’s family is 😂 Ray Filet just starts sing-introducing his name and Mondo and the other couple mutants when they drive with in the car trying to find music they could all sing to together 🥹 not to mention the musical references Superfly makes later that I’ll get to. “Kinda don’t wanna murder everyone on Earth, I just kinda wanna sing” Me too bruh.

Raph immediately going “goochi goochi goo” and playing peekaboo with Genghis frog is so underrated that boy has such a soft side he’s not even that afraid of showing at times, and maybe it’s continuing the trope of Raph having a soft spot for pets/animals? Who knows 😌

Yo I was kinda shook when that government guy knocked Leo out and he just fell unconscious on the ground 😶 Like we’re used to seeing the authorities be brutal especially in movies like this but that’s a whole teenager? You just assaulted a minor? 🙂 Crazy

Also I know it’s sad they got captured and drained painfully but Mikey in that scene was hilarious 😂 like even the way he was dramatically crying and Leo was just started to cry with him like “iM sO sOrRy mIkEeEeEy! 😭” gold. When one of his children is hurting Leo hurts too. One of my favorite moments 🤣

They literally started singing BTS while being tortured they’re so unserious but like in a serious way to them and I love it. Also the fact that they did it just to make Donnie feel better? So pure. Like Raph of all turtles offered to sing while being drained of blood (bc I refuse to use the m word 💀)

The way Splinter snuck in and soloed literal government soldiers single handedly? Badass. Never loved seeing a Splinter save his sons so much 🥹

“But it’s the only way we’ll be accepted.”

“No! We accept you!”

“You can come live with us! We accept you!”

“WE VIBE!”

Oml they’re so puuuuure 😭 I really thought this was gonna be a moment where the guys invite them all to come live with them and Splinter was gonna be like ‘aha 😬 whoa slow down there’ but damn nah he was just as enthusiastic as them inviting all those mutants to come live in their home forever “The more the merrier!” Like ugh he just loves finding family like Baxter Stockman and we see where the guys got their loving nature from 🥹

The amount of his soul Mikey put into that BROSEEEPH was so real like I’ve never heard the name broseph be said in any other way, I’m so glad they put that moment in there

“New York, New York!” “I’m the king of New York!”

Oml superfly’s a Broadway baby 🤗 he’s a big bad villain marching through time square and talking about King Kong but he’s fill gonna nerd out and make his musical theatre references 😂

“For once in your life you didn’t sound lame. You actually started to sound like a leader”

“That was really heartfelt Raph”

I love the Leo Raph dynamic in this movie. Like they don’t always agree or understand each other but they will show love towards one another and show mutual appreciation

Something about any of the turtles shells cracking always gets to me for some reason like those are some serious permanent injuries so I want to see if they do anything special with that in the sequel or show maybe 🤔 And I couldn’t tell if all of theirs cracked or just one, and if so which turtle it was. I think Leo or Raph. I feel like it was Leo but Raph’s are also starting to have a trend of getting cracks in their shells so 🤷🏽‍♀️

Also I do not want to judge what other people like to wear but why are Raph and Donnie the only normal dressed ones 😭 like Mikey looks like he’s going on vacation and Leo looks like he’s going to clock in at Best Buy 😂 tell me it’s because they have limited resources for clothes lmao. HE’S LITERALLY WEARING A LANYARD

Them taking off the masks was crazy honestly… like them deciding not to wear them made my brain pause until I realize they’re kids going to school now and not being ninjas all the time… they don’t need them anymore. I’m just so pleased with the fact that this movie was willing to do what all other iterations weren’t. I see why they’re getting a sequel and show already, these guys and the plot development deserve so much more exploration

Maybe I missed something in the beginning but I’m wondering where Stockman went. Like is he still in custody? Did he die? Because not seeing him again that’s what I assumed but we only saw him get arrested or whatever, so if anything I don’t get why Superfly and the others wouldn’t try to break him out 🤔 I was surprised they didn’t make him a villain though, but I’m pretty happy about him getting to be a more optimistic kind character tho

SHREDDER HAD ME SHOOK LIKE THE ARMOR ALREADY LOOKED SO COOL AND I WAS NOT EXPECTING THEM TO GET THE BIG BAD INVOLVED AHHHH I’M SO READY TO SEE THEM REACT TO THIS ANGRY GIANT TIN CAN

Although I do wonder if Shredder’s gonna have some personal gripe with them since they have a different backstory he doesn’t seem to be a part of. And shit now that they’re public and in school it’s gonna be so much easier for him to go after them 😅 pluses and minuses…

The soundtrack: golden. Cultured. Nothing but range. Goes from a 90’s rap song to Natasha Bedingfield’s soulful 2000’s song. Most movies only ever have all pop mainstream songs or only rap songs because they think they can’t mix but MM does it effortlessly. The turtles are so versatile not just with music genres but they make old and new references ‘cause they’re well rounded kings 💪🏽 Between rizz, Adele, broski, Hey Arnold, K-Pop, Ferris Bueller, etc… I mean Donnie’s literally doing the sprinkler and the funky chicken in that gif up top 😂 they’re born in 2008 I doubt any kids today know about those dances anymore

Clearly I have all the thoughts and feelings about these boys and the movie, but I think this is probably my favorite TMNT movie? I’ve loved all of them but I think this one definitely brings me the most comfort fr

[chrollohearttags]

How I sit on eren face when he get fresh grills

How I look at him before I ride him:

Bon appetite😼

FREN PLEASEEEE!! 😭😭😭 but honestly, realest shit I’ve ever seen.

[episodeoftv]

Round 4 of 8

propaganda and summaries are under the cut (May include spoilers)

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: 5.16 The Body

tw Death of a major character, grief, dealing with the death of a parent

Buffy, Dawn, and their friends deal with the aftermath of Joyce's death.

The purposeful removal of music for the whole episode, the grief portrayed, the portrayals of people with varying amounts of interaction with death. It hits so hard.

This episode killed me. I have never watched anything that has fully encompassed the feeling of loss and what it's like to experience death close to you than The Body. It is an absolute gut punch in the best way. I actually had to take a week off of watching Buffy to recover because I was so destroyed. 12/10 I don't think I will ever be able to watch this episode of TV ever again

One of the greatest depictions of grief and bereavement of all time. Both formally inventive and unique in its cinematography, sound design, editing etc. while also being an incredible personally affecting emotional experience.

There’s another buffy episode that probably deserves the title more, but I did have to give this one some recognition. For a whacky silly show about vampires, this episode is maybe the realest portrayal of death and grief I’ve ever seen. It’s not just a sad episode that makes audiences cry - I mean it is that - but it’s also this incredible examination of what it’s like to lose someone, and how the world shifts on its axis when that happens. The lack of any non diegetic music is an amazing touch to give this episode a sense of distance from all others. It’s real in a way that’s hard to watch but also unforgettable. Certain scenes and lines will always stay with me and will forever shape my feelings on life and loss.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Body_(Buffy_the_Vampire_Slayer)

Leverage: 3.11 The Rashomon Job

Each member of the team recalls the story of an artifact all of them tried to steal on the same night five years ago.

its a great little bottle episode, if bottle episode meant something completely different than what it does. we get a sneak peak into everyone's histories, we get people making fun of each other by changing their stories once they realize oh my god that was YOU??? and we get shit like the Shrimp Allergy Debacle

https://leverage.fandom.com/wiki/The_Rashomon_Job

[torglives]

willel are so funny because the realest sibling shit i’ve ever seen is will saying “friends? what friends?” and el immediately hitting him with whatever’s in her hands

[theconstantsidekick]

Randy's Donuts In A Suit Of Armor

Pairings: Tony Stark x Stark!Reader (siblings), Natasha Romanoff x Stark!Reader (little bit of flirting)

Genre: A bickering fluffy look back at the good times.

Summary:  Tony just wanted a goddamn donut after wrecking the shit out of his birthday party by being an asshole. He tried to throw himself a donut-themed pitty party but the universe is never that kind.

(These scenes incorporate y/n, codename—Static, into the pre-existing story as a character without making drastic changes to the plot or mythos. All the major plot points from the MCU remain in place with the addition of the reader as Static, who is not only a Stark but also enhanced. Whatever events from the canon aren’t mentioned, take place without much change.)

Warnings: Swearing, Mentions of Death, Hints of Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Past Trauma.

a/n: dedicated to my dear reader @third-broparcelicito who wrote a whole-ass essay for me which kept me going through a rough time. Thank you so much.

sidenote: I just missed Tony a lot, ok?

Meet Natalie Rushman (previous part) | Series Masterlist | The Avengers (Ft. Static) | Age of Ultron (Static Origin Story) | Static Verse Masterlist  | Iron Man 1 (ft. Static) | Bucky Barnes, the Boyfriend

“Sir!  I’m gonna have to ask you to exit the donut.”

And man if that doesn’t throw Tony for a spin, cause when he looks down on the source of the voice, there stands a man in an all-black ensemble with a fucking eye-patch. If you don’t know where this is headed, in some ways Tony’s fucking jealous of you.

Reluctantly, he makes his way down and into Randy’s Donuts.

Seated opposite Fury in a booth that feels all too suffocating in his fucking suit made of gold-titanium alloy, with a coffee that was brewed at least two days ago sitting in front of him, and a giant-green-monster-who-tore-up-Harlem sized hangover crushing his head, he makes his displeasure at the situation known. “I told you I don’t wanna join your super-secret boy band.”

“No, no, no. See, I remember, you do everything yourself. How’s that working out for you?” Fury challenges.

“It’s… It’s… It’s…” Does it really look like he’s in the mood for a challenge? So, he deflects. “I’m sorry. I don’t wanna get off on the wrong foot. Do I look at the patch or the eye?” Lowering his sunglasses, he adds, “Honestly, I’m a bit hungover. I’m not sure if you’re real or if I’m having—”

Leaning in, Fury replies, “I am very real. I’m the realest person you’re ever gonna meet.”

Well, fuck, he thinks.

“Just my luck.” He looks over at the counter, “Where’s the staff here?”

The movement gives a full on show of his… situation? Yeah. Situation, let’s go with that. Fury gets a view of the situation he has at hand.

Fury’s hand comes flying to his neck, where he presumes his situation has become evidently concerning because then Fury says, “That’s not looking so good.”

“I’ve been worse.” He’s lying… kind of. The only thing he’s seen worse than this was back in the cave, which as is infamously known, not the best so, yeah. He’s kinda lying.

Anyway, what Tony sees next makes him want to spit his coffee out. Only thing stopping him is the fact that he might spit it on Fury and he doesn’t really wanna die in Rusty’s Donuts, hungover and shamed. He’d rather let the palladium poisoning take him out.

 “We’ve secured the perimeter but I don’t think we should hold it for too much longer.”

Well, fuck times two.

Looking over the top of his glasses in complete and utter disbelief, trying and failing awfully to contain his shock at this absolutely, “Huh,” he says. “You’re… fired.”

“That’s not up to you,” Replies Natalie—who is definitely not Natalie, from Legal, cause she’s wearing a full on S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent bodysuit and currently in the process of taking a seat next to Fury.

“Tony, I want you to meet Agent Romanoff,” Fury introduces her with what seems like giddy excitement? Who even knows. He’s a fucking spy, Tony trusts nothing about him. Fuck Tony thinks maybe he doesn’t trust anyone anymore, especially since Natalie Rushman is actually Agent Romanoff, who says the perimeter is secure.

“Hi,” Tony replies, while facepalming in some more shame.

“I’m a S.H.I.E.L.D. shadow. Once we were informed that you’re ill, I was tasked to you by Director Fury,” Natalie, fuck! No. Not Natalie. Agent Romanoff explains.

“I suggest you apologize,” Tony says looking her dead in the eyes.

“I agree, Nat,” Comes another voice, and like, honestly? At this point he’s DYING to die at the hands of the palladium cause living has brought him no joy whatsoever. Not when his sister is just… everywhere. “You deceived me,” She says as she slides in to sit next to Tony. “You made me fall in love. I was going to marry you. We were going to have two adorable little children and live a long happy life as that weird family at the end of the most suburban lane with the lesbian moms and their adopted asian babies. You really should apologize.” She steals his coffee and takes a sip, stopping only for a second to make a face of pure disgust. “You broke my heart. Oh and, the perimeter is very much not secure… The north exit? Wesley I think his name was? Yeah, he’s down.”

“How did you—” Natali—fuck. Not Natalie is about to ask something that Y/n can very obviously not answer honestly, so he cuts in.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

“I wanted a donut,” Y/n replies easily, like it’s the most boring thing in the world.

“You wanted a donut?” Huh?

“It’s a Pavlovian response; whenever I feel a deep, profound sense of disappointment I crave a donut, because you give me a fucking ‘apology donut’ everytime you disappoint me… which is really often.” She says it with air quotes and all.

“I don’t do it that often,” Tony tries to defend.

“You do it often enough for me to develop a fucking Pavlovian reponse to it, don’t you?”

“You’re making shit up, there is no chance in hell that I do it that often. I’m the pinnacle of siblinghood. I’m absolutely the best brother anyone could ask for, ever, and you know it,” He argues because well, he is. 

“A pinnacle?” She scoffs. “The only thing you’re the pinnacle of is being a self-destructive asshole.”

And what kinda shit is that to say to your beloved brother? Honestly, that’s just disrespectful if you ask him.

“Guess who I learned it from,” He throws back… like a self-destructive asshole.

“Hey, hey, HEY!” Fury shouts as if he’s trying to quiet the two bickering children. Which, yeah, he might as well be doing just that. “I’m not here to take part in your bullshit. I’m here, cause you’ve been very busy. You made your girl your CEO, donated half your shares to your sister, you’re giving away all your stuff. You let your friend fly away with your suit. Now, if I didn’t know better—”

“You don’t know better,” Tony cuts him off. “I didn’t give it to him. He took it.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Fury exclaims in the most mocking tone known to mankind. “He took it? You’re Iron Man and he just took it? The little brother walked in there, kicked your ass and took your suit?” He turns to Nata—Agent Romanoff (fuck!), adding, “Is that possible?”

Ever so slyly, she replies, “Well, according to Mr Stark’s database security guidelines, there are redundancies to prevent unauthorized usage.” She looks right at him, with a challenge in her eyes that unsettles Tony… this might just be the start of a beautiful friendship.

“What do you want from me?” He asks. Cause, come on. He’s doing the best that he can, given the cards that have been dealt.

“I don’t want anything from you—” He shrugs, almost reassessing his statement and deciding to roll with it. “Mostly nothing. You should be asking her instead.” He points to Y/n, meanwhile Nat—(motherfucker!) Agent Romanoff gets up and walks out. “She’s the one who called us in.” 

“YOU DID WHAT?” Tony’s about to blow his fucking gasket. 

But Y/n is calmer than ever, which if you know her is the most normal thing for her. “You’ve been behaving exactly the way you did when you got chicken-pox and thought you were going to die.” She turns to face him. “You’re exacerbating the problem by scratching away at the poxes like there is no tomorrow meanwhile giving away all your toys to people you love and leaving goodbye notes.” He almost forgot about that one, fuck. “I hate to break it to you, but Howard might have returned your G.I. Joe action figure, but Rhodey sure as shit not giving the suit back.” He remembers that. He had to beg Dad to give the toy back. Howard had only given it back because he’d made mom intervene. 

She shakes her head with a sort of disappointment then. “I don’t even want to think about how concerning it is that your self-destructive patterns haven’t changed a bit since you were four fucking years old.”

Before he can respond, Fury cuts in, “You have become a problem, a problem I have to deal with. Contrary to your belief, you are not the center of my universe. I have bigger problems than you in the southwest region to deal with.” What happens next, Tony has no time to register. There’s barely a second long pause before Fury looks up and commands, “Hit him.”

Suddenly there’s something being injected into his neck and his body is almost on fire from it. “Oh, God, are you gonna steal my kidney and sell it?” Fidgeting with his hands around the neck he looks up at Nata—goddamn it! He looks up at Agent Romanoff who holds the now empty injection in her hands, he says, “Could you please not do anything awful for five seconds” He looks back at Fury,  “What did she just do to me?”

“What did we just do for you,” He corrects. “That’s lithium dioxide. It’s gonna take the edge off. We’re trying to get you back to work.”

“Give me a couple of boxes of that. I’ll be right as rain,” Tony says.

“It’s not a cure, it just abates the symptoms,” Agent Romanoff explains.

“Doesn’t look like it’s gonna be an easy fix,” Fury comments.

And you know what? He’s been ambushed twice in this conversation by people he thought he knew. And that’s not even counting the random injection of a so-called cure into him. So yeah, he’s a little short on patience. “Trust me, I know,” He says, with enough distaste that it makes Fury lean back. “I’m good at this stuff. I’ve been looking for a suitable replacement for palladium. I’ve tried every combination, every permutation of every known element.”

Fury leans back in, looks him in the eyes and says, “Well, I’m here to tell you, you haven’t tried them all.”

That stumps him for a second. Because, well you see, Tony’s been convinced he’s dying of this thing, this thing in his chest that while being absolutely foreign is an integral part of him now. He’s dying of the thing that he made to save himself and that’s been consuming his every waking (and most of his sleeping) hour. He had prepared himself for the worst, ready to face the bitter end, rotting from the inside out. It was a fitting way to go, he’d thought. The rot outside of him will have matched his insides. But that was his hubris. 

How could he have thought he could decide to give up on his own life, as if he didn’t share it with someone. That too with someone who was just a little bit more stubborn than him.

Suddenly, “All that remains is the matter of your signature,” Na—Agent fucking Romanoff says from next to them as she places a document in front of Y/n. “Just sign here and here, and we’re good to go.”

The tone of the room changes in an instant. He has seldom seen his sister uncomfortable, so you best believe he senses the change coming from miles away.

“Signature for what? What the hell is this?” Tony asks, completely confounded.

Y/n shifts uncomfortably in her seat, “I gave you my word, we shook hands—that should be more than enough. I don’t do documentation. You know that,” she says looking at Fury.

“You don’t do digital documentation,” He pushes the papers closer to her. “This is analog.”

Tony’s had enough.

“What the fuck are these for?” He asks, loudly.

“Integration of Y/n Stark as a S.H.I.E.L.D. Liaison,” Agent Romanoff replies easily.

He turns to his sister. “Ah. Of course, I’m the self-saboteur in the family. The only one.”

“Tony—”

He’s not in the mood to listen to her bullshit. “What the actual fuck, Y/n? Have you fucking lost your mind? You want to be a fucking liaison for S.H.E.I.L.D?”

“Are these rhetorical questions or are you hoping for a response?” The nonchalance in her attitude pisses him off even more.

“Where is all this attitude coming from, young lady? You really think this is a situation where you should be running your mouth—”

“Oh my fucking god! Tony! What the hell was I supposed to do? You were dying, literally being poisoned by this thing in your fucking chest and I was supposed to do what? Sit back and watch?”

“Do not put this on me. This is not on me! How is this on me? This is a decision you made! By yourself!”

“I didn’t make it in a fucking vaccume, did I—?”

“Everything is my fault? All of it? I am not taking responsibility for your stupidity—”

“—MY STUPIDITY?!! You’re the one who put decided to put a fucking magnet in your chest, jerkface—not me!”

“I’m sorry my solution to being blown up by a missile was inconvenient for you—a missile which by the way had my own fucking name on it—I didn’t have much choice in the matter—”

“UUUGGGGHHHHH! FUCK!! Here we go again. Here we go for the millionth time—”

“—On account of me being held prisoner in the fucking desert!”

“Are we still milking that? Really? Are all your future crimes absolved cause you were kidnapped‚—”

“I wasn’t kidnapped, I was abducted! And do you think I liked—”

“You did like it! You said it yourself, you narcissist—”

“That was a fucking joke, Lincoln Lawyer!”

“How was I supposed to know that?”

“You’re telling me you can’t gauge tone difference now? Really? You childish little shit—”

“You’re a fucking childish little shit—”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Fury shouts. “Shut up—” he cuts off any protest from the siblings before it even forms, “—the both of you. I’ll make you regret it if you don’t.” He fixes them with a look which makes the two Starks silently climb back off of each other and take their seats; once again a part of polite society. This must please Fury to some degree, because he clears his throat before continuing, “Now, here’s the deal, you both will sort this little quarrel out on your own damn time.” He looks over at Y/n, “And you have to sign this, we need proof of some sort. Besides, you will have access to some of the nastiest secrets known man, there has to be some sense of accountability? If you catch my drift?” Reluctant as ever, Y/n just grits her teeth in displeasure but remains otherwise silent. Fury takes this as her assent and moves on to him, “And you! She did this cause you were being a little shit about all of this. So, just be a little nicer maybe?” When Tony remains silent as well he takes that to be an agreement too. He gets up and out of his seat, brushes himself off and then begins to walk away, stopping only for a second to say, “I’ll see you crazy kids back at your place.” With that Fury is gone, and Agent Romanoff along with him.

There is a short silence between the two. It’s something like tense, but not really. 

Tony decides to break it. “You didn’t have to do this, you know?”

He can feel her shrug next to him. “Eh, it was for the best.”

“How?” Tony questions. “You hate all this spy stuff.”

She leans back, hands back in her pocket. “I actually kinda love the spy stuff. I just kinda sorta hate S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Then why go back?”

There is a beat before she replies, “You were suffering. I hate watching you hurt.”

Af if he didn’t know that. The woman burnt the books that gave him paper cuts.

He sighs. “We could’ve fixed it… found a way. We would have.”

“That was the whole problem, Tones. Ever since you’ve put on the damn suit we haven’t been ‘we’. It’s been you in the suit, you in the lab, you alone. 

“That’s not—”

She cuts him off even before he has the chance. “And I understand that I can’t be there all the time and I understand that maybe it wasn’t your intention to cut me off, but none of what you’ve done with regards to all this has been a unanimous decision.”

“I—” he takes a second to reassess before he says anything further, because yeah, maybe she isn’t wrong. Cause right now her breath smells of cigarette smoke and she did just decide to sign herself away to an organization she had come to despise. That would all seem like an overreaction if Tony hadn’t been acting alone, especially from Y/n who is, for all intents and purposes, the most chill person he knows. So, yeah, maybe he fucked up a little bit. So he says, “I—I’m sorry.” He licks his lips. “I was a little too focused on not pulling you back into all this that I just ignored that fact that I was pushing you away all together.” Fuck. He takes a breath. “It’s always us against the world.” He knocks on his suit,”This tin-can won’t change that.”

She looks over at him then, “I know.” She smiles a little “We’re good.”

Nodding, he smiles too. “So, what now? You gonna sign these?” He asks, pointing at the papers in front of them.

“Yep,” she replies, popping the ‘p’ at the end. 

“You think Fury will back out of helping me if you don’t?”

“No, no I don’t,” she answers. “But I’ll sign it anyway.”

“Why?”

“I need the access to the intel that they have.”

Tony has to laugh at that, “Oh yeah, you need them to gather intel. It’s not like you have a whole secret network of informants around the world or anything”

She rolls her eyes with a fond smile. “Yeah well, it’s more than that, okay? There’s something going on at S.H.I.E.L.D. Fury’s planning something.”

“What?”

“I don’t know, that’s why I need this,” she pulls the papers towards her. Pulling out a pen, she signs them. “I gotta be on the inside to figure it out.”

Reaf the next part here. Find the series masterlist here. Find the Static Verse Masterlist here. Read The Avengers (ft. Static) here.

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hit me up if you wanna be added to the tag list.

[frenchkisstheabyss]

Hellouw 🥹 I don’t really know who else I could talk to about something that has been on my mind lately and I’m kinda questioning how “normal” it is so I wanted to ask you and hear your opinion about it. You’re always so nice and I feel like you wouldn’t judge others.. 

So..I know a lot of K-pop Stan’s joke about having a crush on their biases or when they say “giggling, blushing, kicking my feet to XYZs picture” or whatever but I’ve also seen so many fans judging others for that. 

I was feeling really down for a while and when I discovered my ult group and especially my bias I finally felt some sense of enjoyment and happiness again. I began to notice how my mood and happiness depended on them and also how much I actually liked my bias. Obviously most idols are super attractive and with all the fan service it’s easy to develop celebrity crushes on them but I began to wonder whether I should feel bad about it or even try to stop it by maybe taking a break from my ult group. It’s not that I’m delusional and think I could actually pull my bias or would get mad if he dated someone and cancel them for that. 

It’s more like daydreaming about him and admiring him, finding him obviously super attractive but with no ill intent. 

But then I see videos or tweets of other fans who talk about “breaking the first rule of K-pop”and they’re really harsh and mean and talk super negatively about people who have crushes on idols and then I feel bad about myself and wonder if I’m actually weird for that or if it’s okay as long as I’m not delusional about it.. 

Have you ever felt like you like an idol too much? Or where you were close to actually falling in love with one? 

I don’t even know if what I said makes a lot of sense but I’d really like to hear some more opinions on that topic without being judged 🙃

Let me be the realest of realest of real with you. Anyone who’s judging you can suck a dick and not in the fun way. In the most disrespectful way possible.

It’s completely okay if your biases and the groups you love are the thing that makes you happy. Kick your feet, giggle, smile, feel good. Have a nice time. Be joyful. You’re not hurting anyone by doing that.

Would it be ideal if we could source all of those feelings from within ourselves? Totally but that’s just not the case . Life is fucking hard and it can be a struggle to make it through the day.

It doesn’t matter what the people judging you wanna say, they’re into KPop because it does the same thing for them. They can pretend that the entire industry isn’t one big parasocial relationship factory but they’d be lying to themselves.

We love our biases and our groups and the music and the concerts because they make us happy. They bring light to our lives. And yeah sometimes you’re super duper into one of them but so what?

I gave up KPop after first getting into it cause friends shamed me for loving it so much but I got back into it and I love it more than ever now liiiiike Hyungwon from Monsta X is my man period. I’ll go to war over my lil 6ft tall chronically sleepy turtle boy lol

All of that is fine and if anyone ever gives you shit TAG ME. GIVE ME THEIR INFO. I got your back 💜

[asiandramas-takeover]

You know something I appreciated this last episode?

Prapai cleaning cum off Sky’s stomach. That is the realest shit I’ve ever seen in a BL. I don’t remember seeing something that relatable & intimate in another BL. Like that’s true domesticity & trust between two people.

[aqueeracademic]

morse being queer (and other commentary) pt 14:

season 4, episode 2, “Canticle”:

- so far this season isn’t very gay 🫤

- i miss jakes ‼️‼️

- SINGGGGG BITCH

- this music video would be a target pride ad tbh

- don’t even try to say i’m wrong

- wait isn’t this episode super gay?

- IT IS

- omg

- get ready for me to go absolutely ballistic

- character hasn’t even introduced himself yet and we r already seeing his entire ass

- also can this lady stfu?

- “‘kiss me.’” “what?!”

- morse panicking every time theres even a suggestion of physically intimacy is so….

- anyways

- as someone who grew up in colorado, i forget constantly that weed has ever been illegal

- the way morse looks at the younger brother when he meets the band

- clocks the queer and is immediately interested 🥰

- i actually have 0 clue if that’s the gay one i’m just guessing

- “never did anything for me.”

- thursday smokes pot and listens to the grateful dead is my new hc for him

- “you ever tried it?” “i’m a serving police officer!” MORSE U ARE LAME BOO BOO BOO

- “you put enough beer away.”

- TELL EM THURSDAY

- “beer is brain food.”

- YOU TELL EM MORSE

- [i am fully joking. smoking is bad for you, and i would never encourage it under any circumstances. i would also never shame anyone for partaking. i do vouch for the legalization of drugs such as marijuana and shrooms tho. just do what u wanna do!]

- i love summertime because they’re all walking around in just their shirt sleeves 🥰

- thursday and morse just laughing at this lady is so real of them

- the daughter immediately becoming attracted to morse because of how he talks to her mom is the realest shit i’ve ever seen

- i am obsessed with The Wildwood

- like i said in the tiger episode, the episodes where a woman is guilty are always more interesting and this one is the PRIME example

- let’s not pretend like loads of rock songs aren’t based on poetry

- they could have been onto something 🙄🙄

- this band is a bunch of 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

- debryn choking morse ???????

- like okay

- pressing up against his back and shit

- i love these two together

- given the marching band coats they’re all wearing i wanna say this band is supposed to represent the beatles during their sergeant pepper days which had me wondering which of the beatles this writer thinks is gay

- joy pettybon is SO ANNOYING 🙄🙄

- this song is an absolute banger

- so basically the position the gay guy has in the band is the same as john lennon for the most part

- so this writer thinks john is a lil 💅

- and i respect that

- however!

- the english band that was supposed to tour with the kinks and got denied their visas was the Moody Blues so they could be referencing that band also

- THURSDAY IS SO MEAN

- pettybon’s daughter is kinda…

- jk

- free her from this hell tho!

- the way he goes 🤫 at her after she asks him not to tell about the cigarette

- i’m obsessed w him 😭

- the way her talking about homosexuals is not even an outdated argument

- like

- we have not progressed

- props to this guy for standing up for himself and other queer people

- and i hate that nick is the one she said all that homophobic shit to directly

- i know morse hated her ass

- “he’s a pervert” SHUT UR BITCHASS UP

- as a gay, i can guarantee you gay people want nothing to do w ur dirty ass kids

- “it was about love. she said it was dirty. how can love be dirty?” “well if it isn’t then i suspect you aren’t doing it right.”

- HES FUCKING GAY

- this man jessop is talking about writing about the queer experience and wondering how it can be dirty and morse tells him that if it isn’t a little bit then he isn’t doing it right

- that’s like a quadruple entendre

- he’s fucking queer and that line alone proved it to me

- also good on him for telling joy her supporters got violent with jessop

- she’s a bitch

- her performative goodwill-doing is SO ACCURATE

- HOW HAVE WE NOT PROGRESSED???

- oh this bettina girl is a hoe

- good for her!

- morse instinctively straightening up when he decided to have a drink w her 💀💀

- he’s such a whore

- this girl straight up called his life sad because he’s alone 😭😭😭

- like she’s right but goddam girl

- “you seem lonely”

- FINAL STRAW

- death by chocolate is so wild

- the way she catches morse’s eye the day after and he just looks away 😬

- “the threat was made against you. so far as i can see, you’re still here.”

- GO MORSE GO

- the way morse smiles while jessop goes off about pettybon

- and the way that after they accuse him he looks to morse

- people go to morse for comfort in every scenario i hate it here

- OMFG I HATE JOY

- her daughter has NO FRIENDS and sought comfort in an older man via CONVERSATION because her father died and she’s projecting and her mom slaps her across the face for it

- like what the fuck 😀

- i. hate. her.

- the way nick is mourning a lover this entire episode and we don’t know until the very end

- and the way that queer people had to mourn silently for lovers, dead or alive, just because they couldn’t be together

- and people still now have to do that

- i’m sick.

- this is my favorite episode if you couldn’t tell

- combines my two favorite things

- gay people and the 1960s progressive movement via its ties to rock music and bands

- like i live for this shit

- also detectives

- i love a detective

- “comparing his [nick’s] lyrics to james joyce and oscar wilde” AKA TWO QUEER AUTHORS (joyce was only alleged it’s never been proven)

- like how did people not clock him as a homosexual

- tf?

- trewlove is so real for being a serious police officer and genuinely a genius while also being a boy band fan

- the reverend literally shit himself to death

- i’m not laughing 😐😐

- morse listening to rock and roll agenda ‼️‼️‼️

- nah this girl is wild for showing up to his flat

- him letting her in is even crazier

- his face when he says “no more than usual” IM SCREAMING

- why is he so 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

- i’m gonna lose my mind over him

- her asking him if she’s gonna burn in hell and him being like 🫤 like girl he does not believe in hell

- YOU WHAT

- “i love you” GIRL WHAT?????????

- his face

- boy said

- 😮😧

- “there’s someone else” GIRL U WERE NOT EVEN ON THE ROSTER

- “nick wrote it about me”

- girl….

- and then says she’s not allowed to go to the Enchanted Place but fully lets morse go

- like queen

- she looked at nick and said I Know What You Are and then committed murder over it

- so wild!

- PLEASE IM DYING

- bro gets offered a drink and says no SO aggressively

- trying not to catch the sleeping with suspects allegations out here

- nick reaching for his drink the second barry comes up 😭😭

- i feel so bad for this kid 😀 but i’m normal about it i swear 😀

- “don’t you want to expand your mind?” translates directly to “i know ur gay and u should act on it”

- “you ever tried em [mushrooms]?” “only as part of an english breakfast.”

- and then BOTH OF THEM GIGGLING?????

- morse couldn’t help but flirt huh

- i hate him

- and then smiling at him genuinely and asking him about his interests???

- hello.

- PLEASE THE SMILE WHILE NICK EXPLAINS WHATS BEYOND THE DOOR

- AND THE WAY HIS FACE DROPS WHEN NICK SAYS “infinite love”??????

- he figures it out really early on he just didn’t want to out him

- i stand by that

- “there is no shame. no guilt.”

- and morse finally breaks eye contact and looks away??????

- this scene is so inherently queer

- and then nick finally breaking down over barry 😭😭😭😭

- and morse is just not judgmental

- he KNOWS what happened between them 😐 and he won’t out nick 😐

- i’m normal about this episode 😀

- morse refusing to look at her naked 😧 sir i need you to be normal

- “Well, i hope you’ve arrested him. Dudley Jessop. He’s an abomination in the eyes of our lord.”

- “Strangely enough, the police training manual omits to mention abominations.”

- i just want to point out that no one in this entire show defends queer people the way morse does and i feel like it’s really telling

- just like jessop, he stands up for queer people

- they are comparing the two of them

- and they juxtapose him to nick while also making it clear that there’s something similar between them

- like HELLO????

- wake up.

- writing my dissertation about this episode

- anyways ‼️

- “Thankfully, Thursday and I can remember a time when people were decent.”

- the way morse looks absolutely disgusted by her

- i love him

- morse is literally celebrating in his mind when this lady gets arrested

- he’s so fucking happy 💀

- “he’s hiding something.”

- once again, i fully believe that morse KNOWS that nick is queer

- he knows that nick was with barry

- but he refuses to out him

- morse going back to nick’s spot because he knows where he goes to escape is so…

- morse just understands the queer people in this show and i’m obsessed w it

- nick 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

- justice for my boy!

- his brother is so real for keeping the girls away from him

- this girl is FUCKED for fully melting his brain to cover for herself

- i hate her

- debryn is awfully aware of the culture surrounding acid 🤨

- anything you’d like to tell us doctor?

- i like thursday referencing cain and abel

- makes u think it might have been the brother’s doing

- but no!

- i love a lil red herring

- morse finding the proof of nick’s relationship with barry 😬

- he can’t keep it on the dl now

- how unfortunate

- always sucks when ur fellow gays are tied up in murder 🙄

- “it was what he deserved.”

- GET HER BETTINA

- saying that someone deserved to die because of how they were “carrying on”???????

- ma’am

- you married a gay man

- it’s as simple as that

- there’s no need for all this hatred

- just divorce and move on there’s no need to drive people to end it all

- “she’ll be back.” “no. she won’t.”

- GET HER THURSDAY!!!!

- trewlove being a fan of boy bands is the ONLY reason morse solved this case so here’s a shoutout to all my boy band girlies out there!

- it’s me. i am the boy band girlie

- morse’s freckles 🥰🥰🥰

- the lemonade was already spiked when he drank it which means that girl was tripping ballsack and speaking completely normally

- good for her

- he drank so much 💀💀💀

- bro is about to meet god

- ope i was wrong

- nick is bisexual

- bisexual awareness!!

- OSCAR WILDE APPRECIATION

- morse being privy to the contents of a book about… actually i won’t say 🤨

- the book is called Justine by de Sade

- if ur curious

- the contents are sensitive tho so be wary

- ANYWAYS

- i always appreciate queer people from that period using oscar wilde as a means of communication or identifying other queer people

- and the fact that morse knows that off the top of his head…

- oh my god

- chris and nick 💀

- what all of you don’t know is that i assumed chris was the gay one at the beginning of the episode because i couldn’t remember which of them was gay

- and i wrote in these notes that it was him

- and then went back and deleted it because i was wrong and it was nick

- BUT I WAS FUCKING CORRECT

- CHRIS IS QUEER TOO

- i’m losing my mind

- just like morse is about to 🥰

- morse having a bad trip is so unfortunate

- it would b interesting to see him have a good trip and change his entire perspective on drugs tbh

- except that he has an addictive personality

- so it’s actually good he had a bad trip and will never even attempt drugs again!

- we won ladies

- his waist is soO SNATCHED

- morse 🥺🥺

- i don’t wanna know what he was hallucinating but yes i do

- because i’m a nosy bitch.

- “he went to hell and back.”

- thursday gets it

- morse in a wife beater agenda‼️‼️🗣️

- “what day is it?” “corned beef.” “it’s friday.”

- I LOVE THEM OH MY GOD

- i hate it here

- there’s no way that pillow is comfy

- why is it up so high

- oh my god he’s so fine

- GOOD FOR YOU BETTINA

- nah joan is foul for calling him and then not saying anything

- absolutely foul.

- to be quite honest i’m not sure i can forgive her after this little plot point

- so for anyone who isn’t privy to tarot card meanings:

- the hanged man, upright, means the person is experiencing sacrifice and martyrdom. this is obviously applicable to morse as he is very self sacrificial. martyrdom is typically defined as suffering or death to obtain sympathy; this can be applied to morse as he is intentionally being made to suffer by the people around him and it is causing people to swarm to him. we will see more of this in the future.

- the lovers, upright, represents duality and union as well as an important relationship. it is interesting that they chose to display this card upright given he keeps losing people he loves and the card in reverse (representing loss of balance and disharmony) would be more fitting. it does mean, though, that he could be seeing a relationship coming into his life that will provide him balance and unity

[beepsnivy]

yooo my coworker is watching phineas and ferb on company time that’s the realest shit I’ve ever seen. Common phineas and ferb W

[maaarine]

oh my fucking god Succession

realest shit I’ve ever seen

sublime television 10/10