#realistically im probably going to go back to college

[1smolbean]

[shaking like a wet cat] i have to get into a good college because universities are tthe only place that have academics strong enough to mentally stimulate me and then i have to get a degree and then a successful high paying job so i can buy a 1 million dollar house in some shitty suburbs full of rich white people and settle down with my partner and have kids and then die miserable and depressed but slightly wealthy

[heartshapedbisexual]

going 2 get wayyy too personal in the tags have fun if u decide 2 read 👍

[fairyofshampgyu]

Super shy !

genre: smut, baker au, college au, crack

Pairing: shy loser virgin bakery worker ! soobin x college customer ! reader

Warnings: sub soobin, dom reader, clubbing, loss of virginity, riding, hand job, titty groping (can’t be a Soobin smut without him being obsessed with boobies be fr), premature ejaculation,

word count: 2.9k

As soon as you stepped into the newly established campus bakery, walking up to the counter and observing all the pastries, contemplating for a rather long time before you end up deciding on what you’d usually order anyway, Soobin couldn’t help feeling like his world got totally turned upside down. The sight of you rendering him completely speechless and unable to even think.

Time seemingly going by so slow like in the kdramas as your shiny hair majestically blows in the non existent wind inside, smile brightening up the entire bakery. He could practically see the roses blooming around your face like in the mangas. Was this love at first sight?!

Realistically, no.

But were you incredibly attractive to him and a breath of fresh air to the moody, stressed out college students that purchase a single coffee and stay for hours completing assignments with their backs concerningly hunched over? Hell yes.

And unfortunately for Soobin, he does not do well with pretty people. At all. Not realising you had even ordered, too in awe and preoccupied with taking in all your features until he’s snapped back to reality with the clearing of your throat and he can already feel his cheeks burning up horribly fast. Oh god. He really, really hopes it’s not evident right now.

“S-sorry…What did you say?” He begins apologising profusely to you, too embarrassed to even look you in the eyes, staring off more to the side. This was definitely not his best customer service.

With a chuckle, you brush it off and state your order again, “I said could I have the strawberry swirl cheesecake please?” If Soobin could look at himself in third person, he would so be face palming right now. Or better yet, maybe he could just go up and like, punch himself straight up or something for acting like such a loser.

“Ah right... That’s ₩7500. Cash or card?”

You pay with cash and Soobin, very nervously, fumbles around to garner the right amount of change to hand you, though doing it in the most awkward way possible and his palm makes direct contact with yours as he hands the money, making him blush even more and let out a small obvious gasp at the feeling of your soft hand. Oh my god. Why did he do that?! He really hopes you didn’t find that weird.

You only let out another chuckle, thanking him before you’re leaving the bakery in an elegant manner and Soobin is left to sigh and watch your back disappear. Damn it. He’ll probably never see you again. You were so pretty and so cute, too cute even-

“You’re such a virgin.”

His thoughts about you are abruptly dissipated by his coworker and unfortunately best friend, Choi Beomgyu who gives him the stupidest, most annoying grin he would definitely like to slap off his face right now.

“Just shut up.” Soobin grimaces and rolls his eyes at beomgyu, bringing a batch of freshly baked cookies out of the oven behind him and placing them into the display glass one by one.

"You’re pinker than the strawberry macarons we sell. That's saying something." Beomgyu raises an eyebrow at him with sass.

So does that mean you could see how flustered he was getting then? Oh no! Soobin clears his throat and narrows his eyes at beomgyu anyway. “Am not.”

“Are too! Anyway, all I’m saying is that interaction was painful to watch. You’re really giving pathetic, loser, virgin right now. I cant lie.” Beomgyu attempts to stifle in one of his obnoxious laughs.

Soobin is quick to snap back, "You've only ever slept with one person!"

"S-so!! At least im not a virgin!" Beomgyu’s cheeks also become the equivalent to the strawberry macarons as he scrambles to try and defend himself, brows furrowed and cheeks puffed.

“Well, the concept of a virgin is purely societal anyway. It doesn’t actually matter. It doesn’t mean anything really.” Soobin bitterly replies, continuing to work whilst his counterpart does completely nothing like most of the time. It's usually soobin that does work, remind him not to agree to beomyu's silly ideas of getting a job together ever again.

Beomgyu scoffs and snickers at this, "Whatever. You’re just saying all that to make yourself feel better because you’re a loser. LMAO"

"I’ll punch you right now."

"Then we'll both be fired~”

A poor customer still awaits at the counter to be served, standing in bewilderment and tiredness. Waiting for the two bakers to finish bickering and sighing as they don’t seem like they’re going to stop anytime soon.

Soobin doesn’t expect to see you again, in complete honesty, he’s almost forgotten you even exist after you never come again. But he’s in luck and more than pleasantly surprised when he hears the bell to the door go ding!, indicating a customer had walked in. He looks up from the cake he was decorating and in comes you looking cuter than the first time he saw you. He tries not to mess up the cake and he stands up straight almost instantly when he sees you, waiting for you to order and trying to remain calm.

You laugh and point at his cute nose when you come up to the counter. “You have like, icing all on your nose.”

“O-oh. I do?” He points at himself and you nod in reply. He feels himself going redder by the minute. He must look so stupid right now! And he urgently brings his sleeve up and tries to wipe the icing off his nose to not make himself look an even more of a complete fool in front of you .

“Ah wait no. Let me do it!” You lean over the counter as you see him struggling and wipe it off the top of his cute bunny like nose instead for him.

And that was the end of soobin. The end.

-

You become a regular at the bakery and soobin becomes a regular of embarrassing the absolute shit out of himself each time he sees you. He really doesn’t think he can top the previous comedic disaster that occurs when you enter, yet he always proves himself wrong, the awkwardness reaching new heights each time. From dropping trays of pastries, spilling drinks, nearly slipping in front of you, giving you a ₩50000 note when it was only ₩5000 change, the list goes on and on. He’s actually surprised he hasn’t lost his job yet.

And there’s also always a disappointed beomgyu shaking his head afterwards ready to make fun of him when Soobin promises to make a move but freezes every time you’re in sight, too much of a pussy.

“I’m calling an intervention.” Beomgyu declares and sighs after the nth time of soobin making absolutely no moves on you whatsoever, “Soobin, my man, my bro, you desperately need to get banged. It’s painful seeing the way you act. Your little crush is not gonna like you with the way you act. That’s it. We’re going clubbing tonight after this shift. No buts.”

“But-”

“I said no buts!”

“You know I hate clubbing.”

“You’ve never even been with me despite my constant pleads.” Beomgyu shakes his head and makes a dramatic pained face at his way.

“So? I know I’ll hate it.”

“You’re such a hater bro.”

“Yes I am. And I take pride in it. I’m a hater of everything.”

Beomgyu just sighs. He was utterly hopeless.

Unfortunately, there was no way Soobin could get out of this because beomgyu was having absolutely none of his protests and excuses and that’s how he ends up finding himself at the club anyway after his shift, sitting off to the side as he watches beomgyu disappear somewhere into the crowd. Soobin sighs as he downs his jack and coke. This was going to be a long fucking night.

-

In the dimly lit club, soobin’s discomfort was palpable, like a fish out of water and you noticed instantly upon arrival. It’s that cute tall baker boy who always serves you! You excitedly make your way and sit next to him, he looked a little lonely. “Hey! You work at that bakery on campus. I go there!”

Soobin’s eyes nearly fall out of his sockets at the sight of you sitting next to him and he nearly chokes on his drink as he splutters on his straw and nods. Act calm, act calm, act calm, act calm. Act cool and mysterious.

It’s you! You’re speaking to him?!

“So…these things not really your scene, huh?”

“Gee. How did you ever notice?” Soobin attempts to smile and joke with dry humour but it executes a little more awkward and nervous than how he would have liked.

You also try to carry on the conversation since this is the first time you’ve got to ever actually talk to the cute boy before. “I’m very intuitive. I can just sense things like that.”

He laughs at that too, feeling a bit more comfortable around you now. “No but yeah, I’d much rather be at home right now sleeping. Can’t say I’m much of an advocate for getting stupidly drunk with sweaty people you don’t even know with terrible rave music and flashing lights that should have an epilepsy warning”

“I get it.” You chuckle at how passionate he gets talking about how much he hates clubbing, frown on his cute face. “So why are you here then?”

“Friend wanted me to. Said I needed to finally get laid or whatever.” Soobin rolls his eyes and sips on his drink again, motioning his head to the direction of beomgyu on the dance floor, clearly drunk off his ass now.

“Oh, you’re a Virgin?”

Soobin’s ears go red when he realises what he said to you. “O-oh um y-yeah I guess…”

“Are you waiting for like marriage or the right person or something?” You question, genuinely surprised. He was tall and very attractive and it was rare for college boys to not hook up every single night these days.

“God no. Just never happened. I don’t really care for things like that. It’s probably overhyped anyway and doesn’t even feel that good. Like porn is highly unrealistic anyway.”

“You think so?” You chuckle at him and he nods, continuing to cutely sip on his drink with his straw. “Well maybe you should to try it out first and see for yourself.” Your words start to become a little flirty as you grow more confident talking with him and also because of the alcohol making you slightly tipsy now. “Sorry, but do you want to get out of here?”

“Yes please.” Soobin’s eyes widen even more at your suggestion and he’s more than happy to get out of here with you especially.

“Umm your friend is a bit….out of it right now.” You watch beomgyu drunk from afar, whipping his long hair back and forth claiming to everyone around he’ll be able to do it fast enough to lift off his feet and fly like a helicopter.

“He’ll be…he’ll be fine I’m sure”

Soobin has no idea what good stuff he must have done in his past life to get to this moment right now, in your room, making out with you, in your bed. Did he mention making out? With you?! The customer he’s been crushing on for months?! Holy, he might hyperventilate right now. It all feels like a dream. Is this real right now?

You cup his cheek and move into his lap, continuing to move your lips against his and soobin’s ears and face are all flushed, breathing loud of enough for you to hear and he looks all nervous and a little shaky.

You stop kissing him but he chases after your lips still and you stroke his cheek, “Are you okay Soobin?”

He’s only able to nod, lips parted and eyes all glazed over. He’s so out of it just from making out with you it’s crazy. But so cute too.

“C-can you…can we…just want…”

“What do you want, baby?” You chuckle and stroke his cheek as he manages to utter some words. The petname only makes his head go even more haywire.

“W-want you…”

“What do you want me to do?” You giggle and coo at him.

He shyly shows you the boner he’s had this entire time. You can’t believe he got a boner just from some kissing. “Can you-will you touch me…please? Need it…” He pleads at you nervously, so red in the face.

“Are you sure?”

He nods his head exceptionally fast and you begin to unbuckle his jeans as he watches you take his flushed and hard dick out, breathing only becoming heavier. Damn, you didn’t think he’d be that big.

You take him into your hands and his mouth his already agape, gasping when you slowly start to stroke him.

You pump his big cock at a steady pace so as not to overwhelm him too much, though twisting and thumbing at the tip occasionally that has him drooling at the corner of his mouth and beads of precum dribbling out heavily from his cock. It’s endearing how far gone he is just at you stroking his dick slow, shy whimpers and other noises eliciting from his mouth.

You unbutton you shirt with your other hand as you continue to pump him and his eyes go crazed at the sight of your tits, you guiding his own big inexperienced hands to grope at them and he does, slumping his head into your neck and shoulder moaning into it and still groping and squeezing at your tits.

With a sudden yelp you feel Soobin’s cum spurt up and leak into your hands, his eyes rolling back as he whimpers continuously from his premature orgasm.

He doesn’t lift his head from your shoulder yet, too embarrassed to face you but he eventually does, eyes still half lidded, trying to catch his breath and he’s hard again. “W-will you fuck me? Please please please. Wanna feel it, wanna feel you, please?” He practically begs, still panting out.

“Are you really sure, Soobin? With me?”

“Yes please! Only want you.”

You study his face for any hesitancy but it’s clear he’s so set on wanting you to fuck him. So you wrap your hands around both his wrists and bring him to lay down on your pillows instead, you still straddling his lap.

When you’ve undressed your lower half, you bring his dick and slide it over your entrance a few times, he moans out loud, hands coming up shyly to cover his face and then you sink down incredibly slowly on his massive length . Soobin’s jaw drops and breath hitches at the feeling of his dick finally in your warm pussy, a strangled moan ripping out of him. He could seriously cum just from being in you right now, but he tries so hard not to or you’ll be disappointed and he doesn’t want to see you disappointed or embarrass himself even more.

“You good, baby?”

“M’ f-fine. Just-Just need a minute.” Soobin shakes out.

You take his hands away from his face and lean down to softly kiss him instead, trying to calm him down and he effuses into your mouth, kissing back passionately with his eyes closed.

“I’m ready now…” He pulls away after a while and looks you in the eyes.

So you start to slowly move, riding him, going up and down on his virgin dick. Soobin’s mouth hangs open in endless moans and gasps and whimpers, face buried into your pillow to the side and his hair all messy now. Whole body flushed and shaking underneath you.

“Better than you thought, baby?” You grunt out, bouncing on top of his cock.

“So much better. O-oh my god, f-fuck…ah!” So maybe sex wasn’t overhyped after all. Because goddamn, you feel so fucking good. Maybe it was just you. But Soobin truly feels like he’s gliding on fluffy clouds right now. All the times he’s touched himself not even coming close to how he feels right now stuffed in your pussy as you fuck him, watching mesmerised as your tits bounce with each movement. He could die here right now in full contentment. Oh how he was so wrong.

It’s not long at all before Soobin can’t hold it anymore. His hips bucking up and breath hitching as a loud strangled mewl tumbles out of his mouth and you feel hot cum fill you up suddenly that makes you still your movements on him. He lets out a long slurred groan and then goes limp beneath you, eyes closing shut and open as he fades from conscious to not every now and then. Is he really that fucked out?

After a while, he finally somewhat recovers and comes back to you from his high, still panting out and chest rising up and down. He looks up at you with a small shy smile on his lips, arm thrown over his forehead.

“You know I literally only go to the bakery because of how cute and silly you are and how you always make a mess of yourself whenever I walk in” You chuckle and admit, drawing shapes into his chest.

“W-wait you knew I liked you?” Soobin asks, shocked and feeling embarrassed again.

You laugh, “Come on, you made it rather obvious.”

Please actually reblog !!!!!! and leave comments !!!! guys 😭 if you like the fic. It’s really appreciated and so nice tysm !<3🙏💕🌷🌷! It’s incredibly discouraging and irriating when fics have such little reblogs ☹️. At least send an anon in the inbox if you don’t want to rb, don’t just like. Feedback is always appreciated it make writers want to actually write :)

A/n: having serious writers block rn but forced myself to write this in practically one sitting (it was so painful) and has not been proof read at all so if it makes no sense I apologise 😭

[dr-felitas]

LOVE IS AN OPEN DOOR - chuuya nakahara

synopsis: if you wouldn't know any better you'd think that chuuya nakahara doesn't take a liking to you - he loathes you. but what if one day you make a shocking discovery that it might be the opposite.

pairing: chuuya nakahara x gn!reader | wordcount: 1.2k | content & warnings: im at the first ep of s4, so if chuuya mischaracterized no need to wonder…, school au-ish kind of??, cursing (fuck), dazai teases chuuya for his crush, chuuyas kinda not rly good with his feelings and expressing himself, drinking (chuuya offering to go out and drink), dazai plays cupid/matchmaker

a/n: when i wrote this i didn't have 15 yo dazai or chuuya in mind (cause of the school au yk) just as them idk but interpret it however you like - high school or college wtv, im so obsessed with chuuya rn y'all don't even know, hope u guys enjoy this little thing i've whipped up in an hour

you're convinced that chuuya nakahara hates you.

that's one thing you're sure of. after all, he avoids you like the plague; however when the two of you do get in touch with one another, he starts cursing you out, calling you names such as “dumbass" and abruptly leaves.

yeah, you're pretty sure that that guy dislikes - if not despises you. although until now you've hadn’t had the slightest idea why. well, that was the case up until now.

some days have passed since you started noticing it. every time you hung out with dazai and started laughing a bit too loudly at his jokes or lightly slapped his shoulder, chuuya gave you a death stare - if you wouldnt know any better he looked like he’d grab your throat any minute to shut you up.

admittedly (and also embarrassedly) you never really noticed it until dazai has pointed it out. which, on one hand, explains the weird feeling you’ve recently gotten - it felt like someone was shooting daggers at the back of your head, luckily for you, that’s solved now.

but on the other hand, you still demand an explanation why chuuya would do that. is it simply because of his (one-sided) hatred towards you, that can’t be the case right? or did he have a huge crush on dazai, that’s the most realistic explanation that you can think of.

-

once school ended and the bell had just rung to release everyone from their classes and go back home. you’d usually scurry home right away, because there was no point in staying longer, after all who’d want to endure this hell house also known as school more than necessary, it's no use right?

well jokes on you, staying over time was definitely worth it. kunikida assigned you the task (forced) to carry a huge stack of boxes full of documents and paper to your homeroom teacher's room, because it was the “right” thing to do - well at least according to his ideals. 

“but what about dazai? that idiot  just ran off and is probably slacking off right now!” you protested, because it's not fair when everyone has a task to complete and someone else just gets to relax, right? 

at your complaint the blond could only scoff “i’ll scold him later, but for now let's just concentrate on the task in front of us, time is running out.”

-

that’s how you ended up here, back pressed against the heavy classroom door that separated you and the two guys that were inside the room as you tried to listen in into their conversation.

initially your plan was to find dazai, drag him by the collar of his white button up and beat his ass for skipping and leaving you alone with a ton of boxes that not only cost you ten minutes to carry around or so.

because neither kunikida or anyone else didn’t bother to tell you that there were three, fucking three, of those staples of boxes that were filled with countless papers.

however, it came to a change of plans upon hearing chuuyas’ voice. usually, any sound that was made inside of the classrooms was drowned out and barely audible to hear outside the room. 

this time, that didn’t seem to be the case though. chuuyas’ screaming and dazais' hysterical laughter were faint but loud enough to hear from outside the room. 

“come on chuuya, there's no need denying it, you have a massive crush on them.” dazais’ voice was laced with amusement as he started laughing out loud which seemed to piss the redhead off. 

you were able to hear a small huff that escaped dazais mouth. “chuuya, there’s really no need to start getting all violent, just admit that you’re absolutely whipped for them!” the brunette chuckled. “so stop kicking me in the balls!” that probably earned him another kick as you could hear dazai letting out a small “ouch.”

“shut up, shitty dazai.” the guy in question only snickered at that. “yeah, yeah. everyone’s able to tell that you’re madly in love with them. every time you’re around them you start to get beet red, the color even exceeds the one of your hair! a hilarious sight to look at, really.” 

you didn’t hear a response from chuuya and apparently neither did dazai so he just continued his rant. “also, let me tell you one thing, you’re not making it any better by cussing them out or intently staring at them, that’s just scary, man!” dazai closes his eyes and starts shaking his head before tutting in disappointment.

“oh chuuya. the brunette sighs, eyes still closed. “letting a beauty like them slip away this easily by not showing any proper interest. you’re to be pitied, really.” the male moves away from his previous position and bolts over to the door, crossing his arms as his back leans against the door.

an exasperated sigh leaves chuuyas mouth. “what do you expect me to do then? they probably have a horrible impression of me already. if i pull up with a bouquet of roses and some cliché pick up lines, they’d probably stare at me in horror, wondering if i got possessed or something.” he sneers at dazai. 

just who in the world are they talking about?

dazai pretends to think for a moment before snapping his fingers. “well for starters, how about greeting them, doesn’t even have to be verbal, just some waving or nodding. then start hanging out with them!”

“idiot! how's that supposed to work from just greeting each other!” the ginger scowls at dazai.

“hold your horses.” the brunette whistles. “i didn't say to rendez-vous and have a candle-light dinner. how about accepting those group invites first that you keep declining. then you’d have the chance to meet up with them more often and get to know them.”

dazai continues to advise chuuya by giving him tips and recommendations “try bonding over stuff with each other, like favorite shows or food. and if you’re not incapable of doing so, how about complimenting them. wouldn't hurt you know?” dazai shrugs in simplicity. 

chuuyas still skeptical “assumingly that was the case. the two of us attending the same party, they’re alone and i finally get the chance to approach them, what the fuck am i supposed to say?” dazai only smiles at chuuya, a look that says “that’s up to you.” 

“why not use me as your lab rat!” dazai suggests optimistically.

“no way in hell!” chuuya shoots back pessimistically.

after pondering and musing for a while, chuuya comes up with a curt sentence. “i find you really good looking and cool.” the redhead stops and both you and dazai await his continuation in anticipation. “wanna go out and grab drinks sometimes?” chuuya doesn’t look up from the floor which he’s been staring at for the past minute. the tips of his ears tinted in a vermillion red.

“well, that wasn't so hard was it?” dazai asks cheerily, clapping his hands together. “if you still have doubts, how about you try it on the real thing now?” and before you can realize what's going on dazai swiftly steps away from the door before grabbing the door handle and opens the door, revealing your figure to the two guys. 

you’re not sure who's more taken aback, you or chuuya.

e/n: as y’all can tell the title is inspired by frozen's love is an open door cause y’know dazai opens the door for chuuya to confess his feelings. does this make sense lol??

© DR-FELITAS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms or feeding them to ai is not permitted.

[biibini]

Hii!! After mizu graduates college, what type of job do you think she'd have? Would it have to do with sports or maybe something way different? (I absolutely love your writing and headcanons !! 🩷🩷)

modern!mizu post-college life headcanons

tags: post-grad life, engineering mizu, stable work life, a woman in stem, moving in with reader, basketball with mizu, mizu join fencing club, peaceful post-grad life (the dream)

a/n: ngl the thought of post-college life is tripping me out,,, im a junior in college rn and the thought of it just kinda doesnt?? exist?? also ive heard too much info from my friends' rants ab their engineering degrees and switching majors from mechanic to electrical back to mechanical engineering,, theyre fucking nuts

modern!mizu would prob be in the engineering sector of jobs

wooo stem baby (i am a digital marketing major i should not be talking)

bc hello?? money???

also let’s use that mechanical engineering degree to good use

she didn’t leave home for nothing

with her technical skills from eiji

modern!mizu would probably be a CAD engineer

CAD aka computer aided design

technically speaking, it would allow her to work from home or hybrid

and she can easily transfer her mechanical and on-hand knowledge to a digital format

like she’s smart yall

she just got some troubles w procrastination

but dont we all?

(coping so hard)

this job would also allow her free time and flexible hours to do her job

and i feel like modern!mizu opts for a good work-life balance

if she wishes, she can take the day off snd just go out with u or go to the gym

the freedom of choice while staying comfortable at home?

sign her tf up

she can have her tea time, gym time, spending time w u time, and her self care time

the self care in question: enjoying the silence

and realistically, its a well paying job thatll keep her and u afloat while helping eiji financially if need be

modern!mizu hopes her work and smarts can help her provide for others and herself

its ab time she doesnt let herself depend on a man for money

yeah thats a fuck u to u, m*k*o

shes made the mistake once

shes not gonna make it again

just bc postgrad modern!mizu isnt in sports doesnt mean she’ll stop playing

she needs to get her exercise and movement some way some form

basketball with taigen

and always aim for the three-pointers

and is successful most of the time

and then proceed to aim for the half court shots

and fail most times

fencing with eiji whenever shes back home

she’ll def try to teach u

and its fun at first but

she wants to stretch her wings out

modern!mizu would prob join a fencing club

it would be a great for her to fully practice and spar

not just against her old man

or go soft w u

but also go against ppl her age

modern!mizu would move into a place w u

nothing grand but a small apartment where u could refresh and build the place to be ur own

ringo is a good friend

a true best friend she could trust

but it was time to move in w u

and not be wary of ringo hearing u when he comes home

modern!mizu would be more adventurous in hobbies

yeah she has basketball and fencing and her tea collection

but now she has a stable job

no need to worry about grades

and just to live life one step at a time

she would probably try out pottery with u

definitely practice her cooking with ringo's and ur help

all in all, a very patient life

(she deserves it)

[raythekiller]

back with another bpd req....😁

what do u think would happen if ej/tobys (fem)s/o were to switch on them? like complete freak out. im so interested in how it'd play out.

be so mean or nsfw or whatever with it. i need realistic crp in my life 🙏

🗒 ❛ BPD S/O Having An Episode ༉‧₊˚✧

Featuring: Ticci Toby, Eyeless Jack

#Notes: honestly good thing u picked like, the two most chill and understanding guys cause if it was jeff or masky things could get ugly

pronouns used: none

˗ˏˋ back to navigation ´ˎ˗

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Ticci Toby

While he is extremely understanding of your situation and doesn't blame you at all for it, doesn't mean it hurts his feelings any less. Will most likely blame himself for it, thinking that he did something to make you freak out so badly and so will do anything he can to calm you down. Shame he's not too good at it due to panicking at the situation. If you try to storm off, he'll follow you, asking repeatedly what he did wrong and how he can fix it, which is probably going to make you even more aggravated. If you scream at him, he'll go quiet and leave you alone to go sulk, probably to the point of crying. You'll have some work trying to fix the damage later, cause even though he's understanding, he's not the most forgiving.

꒰⸝⸝₊⛓┊Eyeless Jack

At least where I'm from, it's common for medical students to have shifts working at psych wards as part of their college course, so he might have at least some experience with BPD patients. When it's you, though, things are a bit different. Though he knows you can't control it and tries his best to be considerate, he can't help but feel upset and frustrated at the situation since, unlike Toby, he doesn't believe that he did anything to deserve this kind of behavior from you. Will most likely give you the silent treatment until you calm down, since he knows he might not be able to hold back his tongue if he does speak and doesn't want to make the situation worse.

[yuri-is-online]

Cat Got Your Tongue? (MMO AU: Leona Kingscholar x Reader)

Master Post for AU: (x) please read for overview and links to other parts.

a/n: Sure Leona says he doesn't like video games but this is my blog and I choose the au. I ended up having to re-write this because the original premise wasn't working but this fits Leona's vibe a bit better. Side note, but I am thinking I'll probably write a sort of part 2 for each of these once I am finished with each of the main "routes" since there was some stuff I wanted to include in this fic but cut because it didn't flow.

notes: They/Them pronouns used for Yuu, loosely inspired by Love is Hard for Otaku and crappy otome games, Leona is a junior and Yuu is a freshman in American college years, some mild Ruggie slander? (he's hustlin and bustlin) Not a lot of gaming in this one sorry.

Sometimes Leona really hates having a functioning brain.  Maybe if he had been born comatose his family would have taken time to understand him.  Hell maybe he would have understood them.  And maybe, maybe if he’d been a bit more stupid, a bit more happy, a bit more inspiring and a bit less morose, someone would have looked his way.

Someone.  His bright green eyes settle on a desk strategically chosen in the furthest shadows of the classroom where someone sits.  They’re tired, fighting against the eight am death sentence of a class to stay awake and take notes.  Nose always at the grindstone with so little in the way of reward, just like always.  Sometimes he wonders if they’ve ever noticed his gaze, it’s been on them for a long time creating a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach he’d gladly brush off as disgust to Ruggie when pushed.  Not that Ruggie ever pushed hard over something he wasn’t getting paid for and he had enough sense not to laugh at Leona to his face.  They both knew it was worry.  It was written all over his face and twitching through his tail, they look up to meet his heavy gaze and twitch.  A smile works its way to his face involuntarily as he closes his eyes.  

He is getting tired of waiting.

~~~

[FC] <Tempura Kun> I STG IM GONNA KERMIT A FELONY

[FC] <Granny Smith> fr?

[FC] <Granny Smith> where we pullin up?

[FC] <Tempura Kun> whatever hole my Algebra TA crawled out of this morning

[FC] <Granny Smith> we pullin out (´×ω×`)

[FC] <Tempura Kun> （πーπ）

[FC] <Tempura Kun> real brave

[FC] <Tempura Kun> ur such a big man 

[FC] <Granny Smith> HEY

[FC] <Granny Smith> I thirst for the glory of combat not suicide 

[FC] <Gloomy Samurai> whisper or get in a linkshell if you’re just going to bitch and braid each other’s hair

You smother your screams with a pillow as your discord lights up with a call from Epel, which you answer quickly enough it barely gets a chance to ring.

“Just not yer day, huh?”  Epel sighs sympathetically, but you know he’s making that stupid smug face of his.  “Whatcha do this time?”  

“I accidentally gave Dr. Crewel some paperwork dad had me working on and when I tried to explain that to Leona, he laughed at me before I got it all out.”  Epel whistles.

“Did you get the papers back?”

“Yeah.”  You glare at your monitor as you settle into your desk chair.  “Would have been nice to keep my dignity though.”  Epel has enough sense to not to tease you more, just inviting you to a party and shooting a message to the guild to see if anyone is up for running a few dungeons while you stew in your frustrations, squishing your pillow and try to avoid reflecting on your day.  Realistically speaking it wasn’t that bad.  You’ve been pretty lucky in life compared to some people, as your adoptive father is so keen to remind you, he is very generous.  He’s paying for you to go to a good school (that he works for so he’s actually just paying for books), he let you keep Grim when pretty much every other foster family you were placed with tried to get rid of him, and you have a pretty solid group of friends left over from highschool.  But still, you like to think you have a right to complain about things, what sort of father makes his kid go through zoning laws under the guise  of “father child bonding time”?  And what sort of teacher’s assistant says that’s not his problem and snarks about taking off points of your actual homework?

Leona Kingscholar apparently, it’s his idea of a joke.  By the day after tomorrow he’ll be back to his lazy self, slapping a half assed grade on your homework with a bunch of snarky commentary that’s surprisingly helpful when you go to amend your notes.  Assuming he doesn’t hijack your table in the library to take a nap first.  He’s a pain in your ass, and the worst part is you really don’t know why.  Leona’s a junior, you think anyway, and outside of his job as a teacher’s assistant you don’t have any shared classes.  Epel plays on the Spelldrive team, talks him up pretty much every chance he gets, so you guess he’s pretty good at that if nothing else.  Maybe he’s mad at you on Epel’s behalf?  He invites you to their games sometimes, but you never go because you’re too afraid of the crowds.  The thought makes you huff in frustration as Rex and Snake join your party and begin bickering about what to que for; that’s between you and Epel, what’s his captain got to say about any of that?  What does he want to do, show off?

[FC] <Snake Whisper> Tempura you still good to heal?  Gran said you were stressed.

[FC] <Tempura Kun> I’ll stress more if I make you heal lol

[FC] <Tempura Kun> Thanks for asking <3

[FC] <Snake Whisper> σ(^○^)

[FC] <Snake Whisper> You’re good

You stretch and do your best to pop your neck.

Vivat Rex >> You shouldn’t stress about making him heal if you’re tired.  It’s ok to take a break.

Tempura Kun >> lol I like heals I’ll be good promise

Tempura Kun >> ty for worrying tho &lt;3 <3

Vivat Rex >> <3 ofc can’t have our only competent heals falling over dead

Tempura Kun >> HA i’m telling Nautilus u said that

Vivat Rex >> (^_~)  punk ass bitch deserves it

The instance cuts off your reply and you settle into your chair determined to enjoy the hour and a half you set aside for yourself today before you have to go back to being an overworked unpaid student.  Before you have to go back to trying to convince your friend Ruggie that you have a friend named Rex who is real and not a figment of your imagination that lives in your computer caused by dehydra- wait.  Your eye twitches settling on the date and time mocking you from the lower right of your second monitor.

“Epel.”

“Hm?”

“I need you to go wall to wall or I’m gonna be late for work.”

~~~

“Finally.”  Ruggie gives an exaggerated stretch as he yawns.  You sigh to yourself in relief that he isn’t too upset that you’re a few minutes late, you know Ruggie’s a busy guy from the few closing shifts you’ve worked together.  He’s one of the few people you feel actually respects your situation, if the side hustles he kicks your way are anything to go by anyway.  You’d hate for him to think you’re ungrateful for his help.   “I’m practically dead on my feet here, took you long enou-”  You pause in tying your apron, unsure of why he’s staring into you so disapprovingly you almost swear he’s been replaced by Leona.  Almost.  His signature laugh is too unique.

“Stuff it.”  You scowl and his laughter gets louder and it’s a wonder his tail doesn’t knock any of the cigarettes off the back counter shelves.

“Oh you look disgusting.”  He fishes his phone out of his back pocket as he clocks out, checking it just out of your view as you try to salvage your pride and settle into your seat.

“You don’t look so hot yourself either.”

“Yeah at least I don’t look like a truck hit me and backed up to make sure it finished the job.”  He looks somewhat serious for a brief second.  “When was the last time you actually ate food?”

“Before I came here?”

“Instant noodles don't count.”  Your silence is speaking volumes you don’t have the strength to combat and Ruggie sighs.

“I know I’m one to talk, but you should really get some rest.”  His lips quirk into a grin for half a second, quick enough to have missed if you had blinked as if he remembered something amusing.  “Unless you’re angling for someone to force you.”

“Like a health professional?  You know the old crow will just look for a second opinion.”  Ruggie lightly flicks your shoulder while he continues to focus on his phone on the way out the door.

“You mean thirty-second.”  He doesn’t even look up to say goodbye.  “Well I’m out!  Try not to scare off the customers.”  If you had to regularly interact with customers you would not have taken this shift.  Epel had given you a hard time about that, something about personal safety being more important than sanity.

[FC] <Granny Smith> not what I said

[FC] <Granny Smith> u should at least have someone visit when ur alone on shift

And you did sometimes.  Ace likes to drop by after practice, and Epel hadn’t said that with the intention of not showing up himself.  Jack and Deuce probably would have visited even if you were on a daylight shift, not that Jack would ever admit to checking up on you outloud.  But it was still very much only a sometimes thing, not that they didn’t care or worry they just had lives.  Most of your time at the convenience store was spent alone scrolling through magicam on your phone, only looking up to ring up a hoard of energy drinks for whoever was just as tired as you were.  Though maybe not today, Rex had tried to convince you to just call out.  He always does, complaining about how he’d have to run things with Nautilus now, but he might have had a point today.  The chair you and Ruggie snuck behind the counter is not remotely comfortable but you swear it feels like a cloud.  You tried to focus on your magicam feed, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to care about the fan art Gloomurai posted of the First Fantasia Knight Commander.  If anything it just made you sleepier, like he was personally inviting you to take a nap on his lap or something.  Your eyes shut and your phone drops out of your hand.  When you finally wake up you swear it has only been a minute at most but the smug look of your customer suggests otherwise.

“Morning sunshine.”  Leona looks painfully out of place in this shitty college convenience store.  The dingey, twitching light barely bounces off his hair and you swear his clothes have to cost more than all the electronic equipment in the place combined, maybe even more than your computer back home.  An odd thought to have, he’s literally just wearing the same kind of athleisure wear you had been wearing almost twenty minutes ago while gaming, but you recognize the branding on that shirt from a rant Ruggie went on a month ago.  Something about wondering why anyone would pay that much money to leave the house looking stupid in cheetah print.  “Are you even listening to me?”  Leona drawls, lazy and the slightest bit disappointed, he has been talking to you since you woke up you belatedly realize and completely fail to hide the fact.  Leona sighs, tail thrashing in annoyance as he moves to join you behind the counter.  “Whatever, just move over.”  You almost fall off your chair.

“What?  No no no this is an employee only zone you cannot take a nap back here.”  You have no idea how Leona is expecting to fall asleep, even if you’ve tripped over him on the campus lawn before you’re sure the green has to be more comfortable than this questionably sourced tile.  And yet he seems happy enough, bracing his back against the concrete wall as you turn your confusion back to the counter and notice a thermos that you don’t recognize next to you.

“That’s yours.”  Your head whips back around but the fucker’s eyes are closed and he looks so incredibly unbothered your loud retort dies in your throat.  He doesn’t bother to meet your piercing gaze no matter how long you stare at him, you get more of a response from the thermos when you accidentally elbow it trying to get more comfortable at the counter.  It’s a nice thermos, one of those expensive insulated things that cost a ridiculous amount of money, in a bright yellow that nicely compliments the royal looking lion sticker stuck to it.  There are a few other stickers, the NRC logo, a Spelldrive team logo, and a reaper job icon.  The last sticker makes you smile, you’re pretty sure you linked a similar looking sticker to Rex in the guild discord a month ago, the design included a silhouette of the cowboy hat from the class armor set behind the icon just like this sticker.  Exactly like this sticker, you realize as your tired eyes settle on the artist’s signature.  The shop bell rings you to attention, a significantly less interesting customer enters the store and you try to shove your rising panic to the back of your mind and try to focus on doing your job.

Leona’s annoyed sigh goes completely unnoticed.

~~~

“You aren’t going to tell Crowley I slept through most of my shift right?”  You have to be pushing things, Leona hates repeating himself and this is the third time you’ve asked him.  Leona had insisted on staying with you until the end of your shift, you had insisted he had better ways to spend his night but admitted, when he had explicitly asked, that no you weren’t uncomfortable with his presence just didn’t want to be an inconvenience.  That made him laugh, not unlike the little exchange you’d had this morning, but this time he had actually entertained your attempts at talking to him.  Until the time came to leave and he offered to walk you home.  Leona seeing you asleep at your shitty job was bad enough, the thought of that ramshackle house made your stomach tie up in all sorts of knots.  “I know you probably don’t see it as a big deal-”

“Because it’s not.”  He snorts.  “Really who do you think you’re trying to impress?”  You wince, Leona swings the thermos with that taunting sticker just out of view, as you huddle into yourself and he sighs stopping under a street light and turns you to face him.  “No seriously, just who are you trying to impress?  You’re always working to the point you’ve practically stopped being yourself.  It’s annoying.”  

“Well what’s it to you?”  You huff and Leona doesn’t bother to immediately answer.  Your eyes drift back to the sticker on his thermos.  

“Maybe I like playing games with you.”  His voice and face are uncharacteristically soft, but still unnervingly intense.  He doesn’t bother specifying what he means, almost like he’s daring you to ask first so he can make fun of you for thinking Rex was anyone other than him this whole time.  “Maybe I like Yuu enough that I want to spend just a little more time with them and not this weird zombie who doesn’t know the way back to their own house.”  

“Oh please-” you roll your eyes and turn back to the road only for your retort to die in your throat.  You are not, in fact, headed towards the haunted mansion.  This road, this stupid street light, is next to a diner you know the college sports teams like to go to after games.  Leona, gently, tugs you by the sleeve of your jacket towards the door.  “Hey, I can’t afford-”

“Oh don’t misunderstand we ain’t here for you, I was just feeling a bit hungry.”  The smug bastard doesn’t even pretend to hear your protests as he pushes his way into the diner and doesn’t wait to be seated.  He just drags you towards the back of the diner shooting you a truly catlike smirk over his shoulder.  “Of course if I have something left over, we can share.  Maybe if you play nice you can get your own straw.”  He spins you into the booth across from him, and despite what he literally just said shoves the plastic menu back into your hands when you try to hand it back to the clearly amused waitress.  

“How long have you known I was...”  You feel stupid even trying to broach the topic, there’s a pretty clear line you don’t cross when making online friends.  It’s even in the guild rules, you’re pretty sure “don’t ask for anyone’s IRL info” is probably Gloomurai’s life motto.  But Leona doesn’t seem to care, which you suppose is in line with what you know about Rex.  His laid back attitude was what had made him the most approachable out of all your guildmates, not that you would ever have thought to apply such a description to Leona.  If anything he seems confused why you’re so shy about talking, like he’s known who you are the whole time and that’s why he spent so much time pinging you in game or why he decided to spend his night keeping you company. 

“Maybe I like playing games with you.”  Something starts curling up in your stomach at the thought that he just might have, if Leona notices you loosening your jacket to release some steam he pretends not to notice.

“Epel mentioned he was gonna try to get you into the guild.”  Well that’s news to you, looks like someone is going to get yelled at later tonight.  “I didn’t expect you to be so excited about healing, but I ain’t complaining, it was cute and now I don’t have to take Naut’s shit outside of raids.”   Cute.  You intake a sharp breath and Leona definitely notices your nerves, clearly planning to press the point unless you can cut him off from the chase.

“W-what exactly do you have against Nautilus anyway?”  With the way Leona’s face wrinkles you idly wonder if he knows who Nautilus actually is too, or if he’s just displeased that the focus is no longer on him.  “He’s not bad at his role.”  

“Naut pays too much attention to pointless shit.  Sure he’s good but it’s not like he does world firsts or anything.”  Neither does Rex but that does seem to be besides the point when he’s paying for your dinner, especially now that it’s in front of you.  Diner food might not be the healthiest but Ruggie really was right about instant noodle not counting as a meal.  “You know he and Snake used to bitch at each other while they were supposed to be doing callouts?  Had whole ass arguments over cooking instead of calling out shackle timing.  Gloom and Musclered never stopped ‘em either since it was ‘funny.’”  They still do, just in discord and not while you run things.  It’s hard to picture someone as professional as Nautilus doing something like that, but then again you know that Rex has known him longer.  “So just in case you thought I was just being nice earlier, you are the better heals.  If I could get the cards I want with just you, Epel, and Ruggie I would.”  It’s disturbing how clear the picture is in your mind: your lala, Epel’s roe, and Leona’s cowboy coded catman being joined by some hyper pink catgirl in the mini game bunny suit that you can easily see Ruggie using to scam some tech worker out of his monthly salary in Pirate’s Port wiping to an EX rank trial because Leona decided his logs weren’t orange enough.  It sounds like a good time, and you can’t keep yourself from blurting out:

“We should try to run something sometime anyway, it’d be fun.”  And before you can retreat back into your shell,  Leona smiles, smiles and burns away any sort of shyness you wanted to have over talking video games with someone as “normal” as him.

“If you can think of something just text me.”  You fish out your phone and can’t even bring yourself to cringe at the time with just how happy that suggestion makes you feel.

And Ace said playing MMOs would get you zero bitches.

~~~

This was a mistake.  It was hard to keep that thought from drumming away at your nerves the longer you stood in the station square; Leona had been the one to invite you out, not the other way around, so if he really ended up not liking this then that was his fault not yours.  You even took into account that Leona was a lazy bitch and suggested you meet up later in the day instead, but then again…  You try to resist drowning in a wave of self flagellation over the clothes you picked out as you somehow manage to sink further into the park bench you have decided to camp out on.  For someone who had been so insistent they were not going out on a date when their generous adoptive father asked where they were going during such prime father child bonding hours, you felt insanely self conscious.  That was normal right, people who actually went out with their friends to do stuff other than pal around the local big box store put thought into their appearance.  Not that there was anything wrong with that.  If this goes south you know you already confirmed you can have Jack over here in two shakes of his tail and that’s probably exactly what you would end up doing.  But when Mannon posted in the guild discord about a First Fantasia themed pop up cafe that was going to be A) running for a limited time within walking distance from your house and B) giving out a code for an in game pet-

Well admittedly your first thought had been to invite Epel, but Leona had texted you almost immediately after Mannon dropped the link.

[irl catboy] ruggie said you aren’t working this saturday

[irl catboy] come with me to the stupid cafe i never know what to order at those places

With such a gentlemanly request how could you possibly refuse?  And now here you were fifteen minutes early trying to keep yourself from going stir crazy, or from jumping out of your skin when an increasingly familiar deep voice whispers a sleepy “hey” into your ear.  

“Seven’s Leona!”  You’re half ready to hit him with your backpack but your indignation and fright are almost entirely wiped away by the sheer figure Leona cuts against the setting autumn sun.  Someone, Ruggie you decide, because there’s no way Leona decided to dress up to come see you himself, forced your upperclassman into a knit  black turtleneck with golden claw-like trim on the neck and rolled up cuffs.  He’s kept his usual tan slacks, but the ugly woven sandals have been swapped out for a more weather appropriate pair of ugly slip ons with similar gold claws to the turtleneck.  His hair’s still tied up like he’s been at spelldrive practice, not that you fully know what he looks like outside of Epel’s descriptions and your own imagination. 

“What, did I scare you?” you drawls, clearly eating up the attention you’re lavishing on his appearance.  Before you can collect yourself enough to stand up he leans down to cow you back into the bench.  “Maybe I should scare you some more?  The mousey look really suits you.”

“Oh shut up!”  You huff and stand, trying your best to avoid cracking your head off of Leona’s stupidly broad frame as you both go to head towards the cafe.  “Did you look up the menu online or are you just planning on winging it?”

“You really like to put effort into things don’t you?”  Leona doesn’t look or sound too upset but there’s a strange wistfulness to his look you do not really like, but it’s gone before you can pick at it too much.  “Nah I figured I’d just let you pick.”

“Are you sure?”  You try your best not to sound excited, you swear the only thing you admire about Ruggie is his work ethic, not his grift.  “I could just take advantage of you and force you to get a bunch of stuff only I’d like.”  As if he’s reading your mind, Leona's green eyes twinkle with mischief you know will bite you in the ass later.

“Oh no you would never do that.  I know for a fact that you are just too nice for that.”  The “unlike someone else" goes unsaid as Leona decides to really double down on the gentleman act when you reach the cafe, holding the door and not even pretending to look at the menu until you prompt him.

“Do you want to get the reaper soda?”  Leona shrugs. 

“Does it sound like it will taste good to you?”  It does but that’s sort of besides the point, you’re much more interested in the white mage one.

“I just thought you might want the coaster.”  You murmur and he smiles.

“I’d lose something like that real fast, you can just keep it.”  Your eyes have to pop halfway out of your head with how hard he laughs, other patrons shoot a confused look at your table as you try to resist the urge to self combust.  “Let me guess, they’re worth somethin right?  In that case all the more reason for you to keep em.”  The look in his eyes is practically daring you to ask if he’s really sure, but knowing Leona he wants an excuse to tease so for now you swallow your insecurities and point your awkward smile up at the server who comes to take your order.  

“Um can we get one reaper soda, one white mage soda…” your voice trails off and Leona pipes up with the name of a burger you don’t remember reading out to him but they apparently serve anyway with how quickly she notes it down.

“And is the check separate or together?”  She sweetly asks and before you can so much as breathe Leona cuts you off.

“Bill goes to me.”  You glare at him, well try to really Leona’s a hard person to stare down.  “Didn’t I say you could get whatever?”  Not literally, it was more implied along with the trouble that you weren’t expecting to catch up to you this quickly.  His smile widens, not quite wolfishly, more like a lion staring down a particularly foolish gazelle that’s stumbled weak kneed into his territory.  “Go on, tell the nice lady what else you want, she won’t bite you, that's my job.”  Flames aren’t enough anymore.  You need to turn into a particularly fine paste or particle dust to relive how fast your heart is beating.  Luckily for you the server seems amused, letting out a good natured laugh as she shoots you a wink.

“You heard your man, what can we get for you?”  You take back every judgment you have ever passed Ruggie’s way.  With just how proud Leona seems like now he really is asking for it.

 ~~~

��You don’t really do things like this much do ya?”  Leona kept his teasing to a minimum after the bite comment thank god and kept his word about letting you keep the coasters.  Pretty much everything at the cafe seemed to have some sort of First Fantasia themed knick knack you were allowed if not encouraged to take back with you.  Leona had offered to walk you home once you both saw how dark it was, promising that would be your only stop this time much to your relief.  You weren’t sure how much more of his teasing you could take.

“I mean I’ve got Epel, but Ace, Deuce, and Jack don’t really like mmos.”  You aren’t sure if it has ever actually been established if you are friends with Sebek, but unless someone teaches Malleus how to use a mouse you doubt he’s going to be logging into anything other than a literal tree anytime soon.  “Sometimes Epel will send me links to merch he thinks I’d like, but he’s more into the…”  You pause to try and find the words for what it is you want to say, knowing your friend will kill you if you make him look lame.  “Sense of pride and accomplishment you get from beating high end content.”

“That sounds like him.”  Leona says proudly.  “He’s like that with anything mildly competitive.  One of his better qualities, just don’t go telling him I said that.  Wouldn’t want it goin to his head.”  There’s no way you’ll be able to keep his mild praise a secret from Epel forever, but what Leona doesn’t know won’t hurt him too much.  “But that’s not really what I was asking.”  Your pace slows as Leona lapses back into silence and you wrack your brain for what he actually could have meant.  “Do you like going out to cafe’s?”

“I… don’t really know.”  You liked tonight.  Talking to Leona, when he was awake enough to participate, was always fun.  Even when you were trading jabs back and forth in class.  “I used to dream about finally finding someone who I could do stuff like this with, but I kind of gave up after my last date said-”  you freeze in your train of thought and walk.  This had not been a date in any way shape or form.  Sure, Leona played a video game with you, and sure he’s been going out of his way to talk to you in real life more regularly since he came to visit your work.  But it’s not like he did that for any reason other than-  “said it was just too weird.  Said I was just too weird and I guess I just sort of got tired of not being able to talk about things that interested me so I gave up trying.”

“Then why not just date me?”  Leona’s eyes are a really strange shade of green now that you’re staring straight into them.  It’s like he’s got two neon lights shining a spotlight directly on you every time he speaks, judging and picking apart whoever he is looking at.  And right now he is looking pointedly at you, making it clear this isn’t a conversation he is going to let you run from.  “I told you before, didn't I?  I like playing games with you.  I want to spend time with you; I want to hear about your day every day, from what annoyed you to funny things you and your friends did.  I want to see you happy and know I made that happen, because you make my life a happier one just by being in it.  The only thing I have ever not liked about you is that you work too hard, and that’s not unfixable.  You just need to let me be a bad influence on you.”  It’s a confession you never really expected to receive, but somehow so very much him.  It’s insulting, honest, and just a touch demanding but it reaches into that small shrunken part of your heart that you’ve been burying most of your feelings in for who knows how long now and fills it with warmth.

“Would you-”  It feels like a silly question but with how intently Leona is hanging on your every word you feel a rush of power going straight to your head.  “If we were going out would you stop wiping things on purpose?”  He blinks, if he’s surprised by the request or shocked he got this far you don’t quite know, but he quickly recovers, moving into your space to offer his hand.

“If you ask nicely.”  You gladly take the offered arm and influence, squeezing his much larger hand with a soft smile.

“Then it’s a dea-”  Leona cuts you off with a kiss, swallowing your mouselike squeak along with most of your air with a speed you didn’t know he possessed.  

“Don’t use that punks line.”  He practically growls and you can’t hold in your happy laughter any longer.  It could just be the streetlights, but you don’t think Leona looks all that mad.  Quite the opposite really, not that you expect him to voice it out loud.  Instead he leans in for another kiss in a gruff effort to show just how much he means what he has been trying to say all along.

I’m happiest when I am doing things with you.

*if you are curious about Leona's outfit, I based it off of Lion King clothing items in Disney Dreamlight Valley (black and gold claw shoes, tan sunny slacks, and the gray claw top for those looking for specifics)

[vineofroses]

15 questions, 15 mutuals

tagged by @your-catfish-friend !

1. Are you named after anyone?

i do not think so though my middle name might be either my grandmother on my dad's side or my great grandmother. we weren't really that close with my dad's side of the family so im unsure.

2. When was the last time you cried?

sometime this week. there's a lot of shit happening in the world this week.

3. Do you have kids?

nope, and i do not intend to.

4. What sports do you play/have you played?

a few weeks ago i told a friend of mine who's a new friend of a couple of years that in high school i was pretty much a jock. she was shocked lol because i am not athletic anymore.

but anyway, soccer was the first sport i played and i loved it. played rec league through middle school and joined a B competitive team through sophomore year of high school. that was my fun sport.

i ran JV cross country in high school. all of my friends were on the team and i got pretty decent at it.

but the main sport i was involved in was competitive swimming. from the ages of 9-18 i was swimming all the time and it was the bane of my existence. yes, it got me on the varsity team and to the State meet all four years of high school but holy shit, there's a lot of ups and downs in competitive sports. i miss it now, but there's a reason i didn't get back in the pool for three years after high school was over.

5. Do you use sarcasm?

noooooooooooo

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

probably their sense of humor.

7. What's your eye color?

Brown.

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

i like scary movies, but i'll go with happy endings, although i prefer a complicated happy ending. i think my favorite endings are the ones where the character isn't okay yet but there's a moment where they realize they will be. that feels more realistic to me and speaks to an ongoing journey.

9. Any talents?

i ...... have no idea which makes me kinda sad. im sure other people might view a few things that i do as talents but i won't ever view them that way because none of it comes easy. i always wished i could draw, or could play an instrument. i admire anyone who does.

10. Where were you born?

san diego

11. What are your hobbies?

writing, designing the rooms of my house, hanging out with my friends, sending birthday cards in the mail, drinking wine, reading fan fic

12. Do you have any pets?

yes

13. How tall are you?

mid

14. Favorite subject in school?

my favorite classes in college were my writing workshops. they were always so supportive and i loved the writing community on campus. one of my favorite parts of this advanced creative writing workshop i took was how my professor framed how we give constructive criticism during workshops.

the way the workshops worked was we would discuss two students' stories a workshop, coming to class with our notes on their stories ready. we would go around the table and talk about what we loved about the story first. the writer of the story was allowed to engage in the conversation about their story (an important detail because during sophomore year i had a professor who didn't allow the writer to engage during the discussion of their story and i thought that created such a weird, uncomfortable atmosphere).

when it was time to move on to the constructive criticism segment, my professor always started it by saying "what can so and so work on to take their story to the next level?" even though she started the first segment with "what did everyone love about the story," she didn't follow that up with "what did you dislike about the story." I always appreciated that very intentional distinction because it eased everyone into the next part of the workshop where yes, it could be easy to get defensive about your story (as experienced in the sophomore year workshop). it allowed for more thoughtful conversation about the construction criticism and put the writer in a more comfortable position to take in the constructive criticism. the question "what can so and so work on to take their story to the next level" also framed our stories as ongoing works, which is just inherently part of the process. we were not going to write award winning short stories for a single workshop, but that draft could be turned into something down the line. it was a great mindset for a writing workshop. it's been 8 years since that class. I miss those types of workshops and hate how hard it is to find a similar atmosphere once you leave college. But i still carry that class with me.

15. Dream job?

write for tv. i've been saying that for years and it gets further and further away each year it feels like but i suppose it doesn't hurt to keep putting it out there. i've started taking some very small steps to at least start the learning process of crafting stories for tv again, which is very exciting. baby steps.

honestly im not quite sure who are mutuals and who are not so apologies if im crossing a line by tagging you if we are not mutuals lol! tagging @paperstorm @welcometololaland @rmd-writes @thisbuildinghasfeelings @carlos-in-glasses @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @liminalmemories21 @strandnreyes @reyesstrand @michellemisfit @rutherinahobbit @mybrainismelted @storms-s @firstprince-history-huh @freneticfloetry

[terraliensvent]

Cass here. (From the screenshots)

Normally I’m all for not like. Putting 100% faith in mods of CS, but y’all need to lighten the fuck up. We already know it’s not ALL finals. They said that. They said that they have some personal business to address and that they ALSO have finals. Like come on. It’s final season. I know some of y’all aren’t in college because you’re like, 8, but finals typically happen in the span of an entire season. They don’t all happen at once, but rather within a few months. That’s why mods have to crack down and study, because you know, they have a life and priorities outside of a CS.

Not saying I 100% believe it either, but we need to be realistic and stop assuming the absolute worst just because we’re frustrated. It seems to me that at least Tycho wants things to change and is trying to make that happen. Whatever personal business the mods are dealing with though is important and based on my conversation with them today we’ll have some kind of answer by the end of the day, wether it actually give us any info or not. And if it doesn’t, you bet I’ll be the first to say something.

We’re too quick to vilify some of these mods. Yes the staff MYOs are getting out of hand and they need to step it up with the trait sheets, but do y’all really have nothing better to do on a Saturday than be mad on a drama blog? Idk.

Mod, I look forward to seeing what you and Tycho talked about. They’re very open to new ideas and are by far my favorite mod to chat with. At least you can tell that they care and want to do something. It’s a breath of fresh air compared to what we’ve been getting. Look at what voicing your opinion respectfully does? It gets you answers. We’d still be in the dark if someone hadn’t asked what was going on. (Shoutout to them, I can’t recall who) and you’d all still be mad and speculating over nothing.

It seems like if you’re respectful, the mods will at least hear you out. Especially Tycho. Let’s try and have some class, because let’s be honest— this whole “show” everyone is ready for will probably be a small bump at best, and everyone will go back to hoarding and being whales.

there are some points on here i agree with, and some im a bit hesitant with. im also trying to be a bit more careful with what i say in asks right now considering current circumstances

i think people have a right to be irritated with things, and i also think people have a right to voice things without being tone policed

the bottom line is there are some terra staff who are really rude and who people are less comfortable giving critique to, as well as the fact that there are a lot of people in terras who like to jump down the throats of people who have negative things to say, lots of people in terras have a very toxic positivity mindset

i will say though talking with tycho feels really productive, i plan to make a (hopefully not too big) post going over some of the stuff i brought up and some of the stuff they mention as well so itll hopefully reassure some of you so to you anons please hold off on your asks for a little bit

[florencemtrash]

i love love love your work and reading it has gotten me back into my love for acotar (and azriel shhh). im so inspired/tempted to start writing my own fics on here but i have no idea where to start or how to maneuver anything lol .do you have any tips?!

WRITING FANFICTION - my thoughts on how to get started (and others please feel free to chime in in the comments)

AHHHHHHHH YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DO IT!!! I encourage everyone who is interested to write fanfiction, even if you don't want to post things online, because I feel like fanfiction is the perfect avenue to a) have fun and b) practice any and all aspects of writing in a low stress way.

*cracks fingers* get ready for a brief rant about the glories of fanfiction writing

Fanfiction is such a beautiful way to get invested in a story. We already have our own interpretations of how characters look/act/their inner turmoils and struggles that might not get a lot of page time in the canonical works, AND for me personally, I'm always trying to find ways to insert myself into any media I read so fanfiction just feels like a natural extension of that and it honestly has improved my daydreaming skills for better or for worse.

It helps me escape my own thoughts and any troubles I have and I feel like I can grow as a person through the characters I read and write about.

Fanfiction is also great because you can pick and choose what aspects of writing you want to focus on improving. For me personally, I've always had issues with writing dialogue, but if I were to write something from scratch I would have to go through the efforts of creating a whole universe/characters/plot etc. etc so I would always get overwhelmed and just not write at all.

BUT! With fanfiction writing I can just take existing plots/characters etc. etc. and only write the dialogue for a scene I could make up in universe. AND because I'm writing existing characters that I "know", I have a framework for how they speak and can better gauge whether what I am writing sounds natural/realistic. Sometimes if I'm getting stuck on the dialogue I'll just write the lines for each character so I don't lose momentum and then later on I'll go back in and add the setting descriptions, dialogue tags, actions.

More concrete tips/steps you could take

So, I suppose if you're looking for a place to start and have a specific aspect of writing you have trouble with, you could always write short blurbs focusing on that skillset.

If you have issues with dialogue, just write dialogue. No descriptions/scenery. Nothing. If you have issues with describing settings you can always take the dialogue/actions from a scene of a book verbatim and then write around them. OR maybe if you have issues with characterization you could also take a scene from a book and then write from a different character's perspective. I just think it's a neat way to practice and something I've done in the past.

2. Write shameless self inserts. You know yourself better than anyone else and if you're interested in writing fanfiction, you're probably already a chronic daydreamer who's imagining what you would do in a fictional universe. May as well just write it down for the practice.

3. Start with short oneshots - I only started posting online about 7-ish months ago but I've been writing fanfiction since I was in middle school (so about 10 years now) and that's how I got into writing... and also I started out by handwriting the beginnings of trilogies but never getting past page 10 because I realized I was just copying the Hunger Games.

4. Don't be precious with your writing (see #3) and especially in the beginning I think people should prioritize quantity over quality. I think my writing has drastically improved since graduating college because I now consistently have time in the evenings to just write, even if it's "bad" writing. I also have a document titled "Dump it into the fires of Mordor" for my shittiest ideas and bits that I've cut out from other writing projects.

Other Tumblr-specific tidbits

Keep a google sheets to organize fics/taglists. I like to organize this way because unless you have a masterlist (which most people don't in the beginning), tumblr just has everything on one long scroll. So to get around this I have a google sheets where each column is one writing project with one row dedicated to links to the tumblr page, one row to commonly used tags, and the rest of the rows in the column are a list of anyone on my taglist for that project

Include more paragraph cuts than you think you'll need. This is a personal preference of mine, but because I read fanfics on Tumblr predominately on my phone where the width is narrower, extra paragraph cuts a) help me keep track of where I am in the story better and b) look more visually appealing - at least in my opinion

I'm still getting used to Tumblr myself and everyone approaches writing and using the platform differently.

BUT PLEASE DO WRITE IF YOU FEEL INSPIRED TO! Writing and posting fanfiction, and generally getting to interact with people, has been so much fun and I highly encourage anyone and everyone to do it.

Hmmmm, this ended up being a lot longer than I thought it would be. Whoops. Hope it was helpful though!

Love,

Florence B.

[golbrocklovely]

not the same anon but i wanna add to the alcohol thing. go out,have fun, do you but stas has posted herself out drinking and celebrating getting drunk,being hungover, and curing that hangover with more drinking. i dunno what’s happened to kat, it was probably already in her but she does a lot of this often now almost as if this were the go to choice of beverage. they both have posted themselves pregaming to go out and get drunk and one of them just posted a tiktok where both are holding 2 drinks each. Im honestly glad someone else pointed this out and noticed it too because most of the fandom seems to praise them and treat it like the anon said all cutesy and silly when its not.

I remember last year people blaming snc as a bad influence on the girls for drinking and look now. It wasnt snc it was them. the boys are working and theyre fine. these two are using this as a crutch. also how can you not feel emotionally,mentally, and even physically exhausted going out every night and doing this.sam legit quoted stas last year saying she rather drink than eat.

i'm gonna combine these two asks together since they are about the same thing. hope you don't mind.

this is kinda long so... i'm sorry about that.

so the last time i talked about this type of stuff/the last time i got asks about stas and kat drinking was back in 2021/22 and any time i made the same argument i'm gonna make now, i got chewed out bc ppl misinterpreted what i said and felt like i was minimizing alcoholism. as someone that has had family members on both sides have addiction issues with alcohol (along with other things), i'm not one to be blase about alcoholism. this is also not me shrugging off the real issue that stas and kat could have addiction problems.

however…. we don't know them. we only see what they post. and it's not impossible that they make it seem like they're drinking a lot when in actuality they might only be having one or two drinks. does that make what they're doing any better? no. i'm not making that argument. what i'm trying to say is that we shouldn't jump to conclusions when we don't know the full story. plus, you can't diagnosis someone via a couple stories and snapchat or two. that's just reality.

does that mean that them joking about being alcoholics is cool? no it's not. it's really dumb at the very least, and extremely dark at the most. my hope and my personal belief is that they are just partying a bunch and made some tasteless jokes. i remember when i was in college, basically the same age (if not younger) as them, and ppl around me would joke about being alcoholics. i didn't find it funny, but they did. and i'm gonna assume that it's the same thing with them. that it's not them casually telling their fanbase that they have addictions issues, but more "omg isn't it so funny how we drink every night when we party??"

i don't think this behavior is great, especially since a lot of snc's younger fans have drifted into being these two girls' fans. it's not cute to aspire to be drunkards in your early 20s. you wanna go out and have your fun, so be it. but be realistic about what your limit is. also, you don't have to hit your limit every night. you don't have to drink every night either.

but again, as i stated before, i don't think they actually have addiction issues. if they did, that's for them and ppl close to them who know them to discuss and figure out. not for us to speculate over a couple stories and snapchats. i don't pay attention to them enough to really know one way or the other, but regardless i think it's best to not assume something's wrong. if it is really that much of an issue to anyone reading this, maybe reach out to them somehow and tell them you're concerned. or if it's too triggering, which is totally understandable, just block them and move on.

i truly wish them the best, and i hope their fans know that excessive drinking is not good for you.

[ankhisms]

thought a lot about art today as i mentioned earlier.. this will be very jumbled rambling but i shall now expand

after my mom and i got groceries today we stopped at this building that was hosting an art showing of a local art group, my mom wanted to go because she recently sort of reconnected with a lady she went to college with and this womans paintings were in the art showing so she wanted to see. we both ended up not being very impressed with the majority of the work at the showing, the lady who my mom knew probably had the paintings that i liked the most even without knowing beforehand that it was her. i always try to be very fair when it comes to art and im of the mind that even if i dont like a certain style or a certain piece of art that doesnt make it bad or devoid of meaning and doesnt mean its not meaningful and good to someone else, and i think art is something that every person is capable of doing in some fashion no matter your skill levels or capabilities theres so many ways to create art and thats what makes art so beautiful and amazing and deeply human. i really am aware that in the past ive been surrounded by very unhealthy and toxic mindsets when its come to art and its ended up hurting me and my growth as an artist and im still unlearning and working through allowing myself to be messy and make "bad" art.

so with that being said at the same time ive had this weird feeling that im not entirely comfortable with where like.. i looked at a lot of the paintings that were supposed to be realistic landscapes or still life and thought "i could paint this better". and i dont like having that thought. it feels petty and mean spirited. i dont want to be someone who thinks theyre better than others, and honestly my thoughts about myself and my creative work are usually the complete opposite. but for some context all of the women artists in this show were 60-70 years old and almost all of them had some kind of art degree, ranging from bachelors to masters degrees in art and several of them are art professors or teachers. one of them specifically whos paintings did not impress me is a painting teacher at my old college. all of them are clearly coming from wealthier backgrounds than me and my family and i should note that all of them are white, there were no women of color having their work showcased in this.

and it just feels very strange because its like i dont like having the thought "i could do a better painting than this" but at the same time... these ladies all have had so many more opportunities than me and my mom as artists and its like. from looking at the paintings of the one painting professors i felt almost relieved that i didnt take art classes at college when before i had felt kind of sad that i didnt have time in my schedule to take any art classes, because like it was very clear looking at these paintings that this lady doesnt have very basic art theory stuff in mind that i have taught myself with no real art schooling.

but then again i circle back into thinking about how i dont think people should have to have any real technical training in order to do art and people certainly dont have to go to school in art to be an artist yknow as i said before i think every person is capable of creating things and that art is a deeply human thing that is within each of us

i think its just weird because i know how privledged these women are, moreso than my mother and i, and they all are so much older than me and are supposed to be professional artists and yet its like you havent even done really basic stuff where your still life and your landscape look worse than the paintings i was doing in highschool. part of me feels like im just being bitter and maybe i am. i genuinely think my mother is an amazing artist thats not just me being biased because im her child ive talked before about my complex relationship with my mother but she genuinely is skilled and dedicated to her craft she works her ass off to have our family just scrape by and she works on her art whenever she has a little bit of time and the pieces she does are so beautiful and breath taking. but she was talking about how we dont have the money to properly frame any of her work and real frames like the ones in that showing cost a lot of money and part of me just has this anger inside me like. why do these rich ladies with their mediocre paintings get to be in galleries and be art teachers when my mom and her beautiful artwork doesnt stand a chance of ever getting in a gallery. and then i start thinking of all the amazing artists i know or follow online and how many of them are just struggling to stay alive and get their basic needs met and i get even angrier.

so yeah i dont really know if im contridicting myself by feeling that art should be accessible to everyone and that everyone is capable of doing art and wanting to encourage artists at all levels and not be an asshole needlessly to artists but at the same time. i was not impressed and felt bitter i guess. because of the rich ladies paintings. then again these ladies are calling themselves professionals and putting their work in galleries so i guess its not the same as just like seeing art online like i guess you have to expect people to critique you if youre calling yourself an art professional and having your work be displayed. anyway thanks if you read this love you

[sofipitch]

Im curious for the show in how theyll take inspiration from source material here. Like I think I will enjoy it knowing its not meant to be an exact adaption- though Im curious how they will handle Claudia with the actress being a grown person (or really all of them being aged up) Or Louis with his arcs of guilt and repression- when this time he starts owning a bunch of brothels and maybe has a past male lover? Im curious tho optimistic

I'm kind of confused bc this ask isn't a question? I can also only answer these to the best of my knowledge bc I'm not one of the show runners, I'm just some guy 😂

But if you are asking why I support the show and it's changes I'll say that I personally hated being a teenager and in this version Claudia will be 13. I think that is plenty young enough to feel stuck in one's body, which is Claudia's main issue. The show runners have said child labor laws were a reason they cast someone who was legally an adult but I think Durst was the only possible youngest Claudia. She was 12 and already an accomplished actress when she took the role, I read that Neil Jordan wanted a trained child actor since it's such a hard role for a kid to play an adult. The behind the scenes in my dvd copy Durnst even says at the time she didn't really understand what her character Claudia was going through, looking back as an adult made it make sense, so I'm guessing she probably had good stage direction for Jordan or other crew. So at the end of the day, I think to have someone reasonably play a character who is mentally an adult they needed to cast someone older. We haven't gotten a lot of images of Claudia but it looks like from the 2 we have she is still a "child".

I also kind of feel like comments that Bailey Bass is too old are rooted in racist stereotypes. Black girls get seen as "older" and "sexual" much sooner than white girls. Some of what I have seen ppl say about Bailey Bass has really disgusted me. I don't think you should be commenting on this girl's body parts, even if she is "legally an adult". She is still leagues younger than the ppl I see commenting on her body.

For the other characters I also prefer for them to be older. Lestat not having a fully formed prefrontal cortex might explain a lot of his bullshit but I also agree with others in saying that AR consistently saying the most attractive men alive are 21 (and later 20 and then 19) and her harping on how attractive Armand is (who looks 17) sounds more like a fetish than realistic. It's an old post by a friend, now @hedonisticgene but it was his old blog I think, said "Have you ever met the college kid who thinks he's a sex god? That's Lestat". So I do think making the characters older will make them seem attractive and charming and also have ppl not inquire too much about their lives be realistic.

As for the brothel it has the potential to be as morally repugnant as Louis having been a slave owner. I think fanon and late canon woobifies Louis so much that his general weak moral backbone is often ignored. Remember in the book IWTV Louis does not object to kill humans "bc it's wrong morally" but bc he thought it was an aesthetic experience he should work his way up to. He also describes his slaves in some awful ways, so I don't really think brothel owner is out of the question. And when it comes to Louis's repressed sexuality, well wouldn't it be the best cover, if you are gay and don't want others to know, to own a brothel. I am aware some ppl read Louis as bi while others (myself included) see him as gay. I also read IWTV as the interpretation that Louis's struggle to come to terms with vampirism is his struggle to come to terms with his sexuality. And Louis doesn't shy from telling us he went to whorehouses or that he maybe had feelings for Babette. What he shies away from is admitting his feelings for Lestat. So I think Louis being repressed has more to do with internalized homophobia than sex in general. So I feel like surrounding yourself with a whole bunch of hot women would be the best way to be "I'm totally straight! Look how straight I am!" 😂

I have my reservations about the show like any fan. These books (well the first three) mean so much to be I'll be devastated if this show sucks. But honestly for me it's not in these kind of small details, to me what matters is the character dynamic. That's what I love, and as long as this show scratches my brain the same way the books do I'll be happy.

[austinmabry]

Social Media Experiment: Week 4 Blog

After conducting my social media log, I needed to create an experiment. In part 1, I made a discovery that my screen time was alarmingly high. I spent 8 hours and 24 minutes on my phone on Saturday, February 4th. This is just simply too much time. I spent nearly 3 hours alone on Youtube and TikTok, and 3 hours streaming college basketball games on my phone. For my experiment, I wanted to cut my screen time in half for Sunday, February 5, which is the day I am writing this blog.

I wanted to cut my time down to 4 hours specifically, so I could prioritize my internship and schoolwork. One method I'm using is placing my phone in a different room when I'm doing my schoolwork. This is a practice I'm trying to get engraved into my brain. If I can master this practice, I think I will get my schoolwork done more efficiently and effectively. As im typing this, my phone is in a different room, and this has made me conduct this post a lot faster, with few distractions. I like to 'reward' myself for typing a paragrapgh or completing a task in assignment that realistically takes 5-10 minutes. I would normally pick my phone up and get sidetracked easily. As of 6:30 PM, my screen time for the day is 1 hour and 49 minutes, giving myself about 2 hours of screentime for the rest of the day. I think my goal is attainable, as I still have a few hours of homework left. I will probably end my night with 1 hour of TikTok and YouTube, giving myself another hour to use other social medias and texting. 4 hours of screen time is something I want to shoot for everyday, but I am aware that this number may vary day by day, depending on what I have going on in my life.

Overall, I think this experience was a good wake up call. It put into persepctive just how much time I spend on my phone. I was really suprised to see I spent over 8 hours in my phone in just one day. Throughout my experiment, I learned how much more productive I can be when I put my phone in a different room when working on schoolwork. Cutting back on my screen time and being more productive because of it, is something I am hoping to accomplish throughout the semester.

[apothecarywormcrud]

WOEE ASK BE UPON YE HI STROP-- can i get adoration, confession, && smitten for viktor

adoration — how would your f/o speak about you to someone else?

academy era is like. theyve done some very interesting work with chemtech implants and artificial nerve growth that you're probably too stupid to understand. also theyre clearly on drugs and theres something wrong with them. these last two things are objective facts but if you say anything ill treat it as an insult and fucking Get You. somehow despite all this it still takes him like 6 months to realize henis gay. mh era is just yeah thats my work partner. hop off my dick what are you a cop.

confession — how’d the confession happen, and looking back on it, what are your (and f/o’s) thoughts abt how you both were back then?

there are many iterations tht i run through. as one does. but realistically i don't think there is one i think they both just wake up one morning nd realize theyve been making out every other day for three weeks and hey maybe that might be relevant? or something? wick's feelings on the matter are wow i kinda miss when we were young college shitheads with slightly different emotional issues and no body count. viktor's feelings on the matter are [lying] wow i dont miss that shit at all and also love is fake btw. there's a v solid wall between pre nd post mh shit bc he put it there and everybody else just has to kinda awkwardly climb around it like there isn't also a very obvious web of cracks spreading from the points where he's been angrily punching it.

smitten — was it easy for the people around you and f/o to figure out you liked each other? did they get involved in you getting together at all?

sorry for turning this into discord screenshot central i jst think i've said some rlly funny shit abt this already. jayce watching this three-ring-circus of bullshit like cool im going to become gay And homophobic.

[pinkandblueblurbs]

the selfish bitch in me wants to be like "gilli don't you dare leave me here 😭" but realistically it's normal to feel less attached and interested in this the more back to normal things get and you start being able to go out and stuff, and also just because you can get bored of things. you can easily come back if you ever get interested again, know there's no real rules or expectations... even though I would cry and message you on discord every single day still :') mwah mwah mwah smooching you silly <33

asjshshhs no yeah the main thing that makes me sad is the thought if leaving ya’ll :,))) and the thing I’d definitely miss is interacting with u and seeing your sweet reblogs and stuff gah. i dont suuuuuper anticipate leaving? i’d probably stick with it at least through the summer, might leave when i got to college tho….. but then again when im at college i may want to have a familiar space… but i wouldnt want it to hinder my meeting new people or getting through my work or whatever… idk we’ll see

it just feels. weird rn. everything feels weird ajsjs. but rest assured we will still be buddies, i’ll still find a way to read ur stuff i’m sure, and i’ll still talk to u on discord 😤😤😤