#really awesome dude and so excited and grateful for this opportunity

[jewshboy]

today has been such a good day

[hortensemitchell]

Love Science: Chapter 5

Logan believed that he could solve anything through the power of science, even something as complicated as love. James is set on teaching him that love can’t be summed up in experiments and charts.

The two of them might just learn that there is more to love than they realize.

Rating: T

Pairing: Logan Mitchell/James Diamond

Word Count: 2305

“It’s really not that bad Carlos.” Kendall said, leaning against the bathroom stalls. “No one will even notice.” He paused for a moment, looking him over again. “Probably.”

Logan kept his head down as he ran some paper towels under the cool water, attempting some medical aid with the limited supplies in the school bathroom. Under the bright fluorescent lights he was finally able to get a good look at Carlos’ face, and well, Kendall wasn’t being entirely truthful.

His eye was swollen shut, a dark bruise already starting to set in. And his lip seemed to be split open across the top. Carlos would wince in pain every time he spoke, but that hardly stopped the smaller boy. 

He isn’t even sure what had happened in the time he had separated from the two. He couldn’t always be with the other boys because of the advanced classes he took. That didn’t keep him from being roped into their shenanigans though. 

 One minute he was listening intently to his teacher's lecture on the symbolism in ‘Animal Farm’ and the next Kendall was at the door claiming Logan was needed in the principal's office. He knew Kendall though, and wasn’t all that surprised when he grabbed him by the wrist, dragging him the opposite direction of the office.

Carlos was sitting on the counter of the bathroom, hand held over his eye and Logan had instantly gotten to work. It was second nature to him, fixing their injuries. He didn’t even bother asking how they happened anymore before coming to their aid.

“Give it to me straight Doc, am I gonna live?”

Logan rolled his eyes at the other boy’s melodramatics, though he couldn’t fight the smile tugging on the corners of his mouth. “You’ll live at least, but you’ll have a pretty nasty black eye for a couple days. How’d you get this anyways?”

Carlos sat up taller where he was perched on the edge of the counter, chest puffed out in pride. “Well you’ll be proud to know that I happened to get a date for the dance. James isn’t the only ladies man after all.” 

Logan heard Kendall snort from over his shoulder, “Yeah and how many of James’ ‘ladies’ leave him with a black eye?”

“She was excited, you can’t blame her for that. Besides, you're just jealous that I have a totally awesome date and you don’t.” Carlos looked over at Kendall sticking his tongue out, and Logan shook his head. Sometimes it was hard to believe he was the same age as them.

Logan clasped his hand on Carlos’ shoulder and gave it a congratulatory squeeze momentarily distracting him from Kendall’s teasing. “Just try and wear your helmet around her okay? I can’t keep missing class to patch you up.”

He heard the bathroom door swing open, and all three of them looked over to see James rushing into the room. “I got your text, sorry it took me so long, Mrs.Bigler was not in a friendly mood today. Can you believe that she told me that- Wait. Dude, what happened to your eye?”

“Kendall! You told me that no one would notice!”

Kendall raised his hands in mock surrender, “ I did say probably.”

James came closer to the pair at the sink, examining the damage. “How can anyone not notice, can you even see?” Logan elbowed James in the ribs sharply to get him to stop talking. 

“It’s not that bad,” Logan gave James a pointed glare, “And it should at least fade a little in time for the dance.”

The mention of the dance seemed to have Carlos perk up again, springing himself off the counter, injury completely forgotten. “Speaking of the dance, Jenny said yes to going with me. So you wanna help me get some clothes for the dance after school? And probably one of those flower things that girls like?”

Logan felt James tense up beside him. James was supposed to be helping Logan after school, and he felt himself deflate a little. Tutoring him would be a chore, and he doubted James would pass up the opportunity to go to the mall for him. He tried to shake off the feeling though, it’s not like he wanted to go to the stupid dance anyways. 

“How about tomorrow night? I have to go to Logan’s to work on algebra homework.”

Kendall raised an eyebrow, examining the taller boy. “Since when do you pass up the opportunity to go shopping for tutoring of all things?”

When Logan glanced over he swore he could see James cheeks flushed with embarrassment, but as quick as the expression crossed his face, it left. It was kind of scary how quickly James could put on a show, and it got Logan wondering if he ever did that around him too. 

James shifted the weight of his backpack on his shoulder, eyes meeting Kendall’s analyzing look. “You know my mother, if I don’t pass my test with at least a C, there’s no way she’ll let me go to the dance.”

The answer seemed to please Kendall for a moment, as he nodded. Logan felt momentarily grateful for James’ quick thinking because it would be mortifying for the other two to know what they were really doing. 

They wouldn’t really care, he knew that much. Minus some teasing, he doubts the other two would think much about it. But still, his lessons in love were something he would like to keep to just the two of them. 

The shrill bell pierced the air reminding the group of boys that they still had half a day’s worth of classes to get through. Carlos and Kendall shuffled out of the door quickly, realizing they had left their bags in their last period, and Logan moved to follow behind them. He only made it a couple of steps before he felt a harsh tug on his bag almost pulling him off balance. 

He stumbled backwards a couple steps before coming in contact with something solid. He turned around in place to find himself inches away from James. The other boy had a huge grin plastered across his face, and Logan could see an almost evil glint in his eye. It was the same look he would see on Kendall’s face as he concocted yet another scheme, and Logan instantly felt dread build in the pit of his stomach.

There was no use fighting it though, he’d learned from years of being their friend. He sighed in resignation, “Alright, what’s the plan?”

“I’m glad you asked, I figured now was the perfect time to start step one of your training.” James set his bag on the counter beside him and began ruffling through it. When he pulled a tube of hair gel and his lucky comb from the bag, Logan finally understood what step one was. He made a move to exit the bathroom, but was stopped by James hand gripping his bag strap, holding him in place.

“What do you think is the first step to getting someone’s attention?” James looked at him expectantly and Logan racked his brain for an answer. 

That question had brought him back to the very same struggles he had yesterday at Kendall’s house. Whatever it is that James did to make the girls fall at his feet, he just didn’t know. At least with Kendall, he could say that girls liked his easy going, down to Earth charm. And any girl that met Carlos, knew they’d be in for a crazy time. There just wasn’t a good answer for James though, and Logan hated not having an answer.

James had stepped out of Logan’s space, and watched him as he thought over his answer. Under his watchful eye, Logan began to feel uncomfortable and turned to the bathroom mirror to avoid his gaze. “I don’t know James, a good opener?”

He could see in the reflection James shake his head slightly, “Step one is getting them to look at you. Why do you think I spend so much time fixing my hair and deciding what to wear everyday? It takes effort to look this good, but it’s well worth it.” He stepped behind Logan, meeting his eyes in the mirror. “And today I’m gonna use that effort on you.”

Logan couldn’t help the snort that escaped him at James’ words. All the Cuda Man Spray and hair gel in the world couldn’t make up for the fact that he was a nerd. And when he stood next to James? Well it was almost unfair. 

James was breathtaking, Logan wasn’t afraid to admit what was true. He had a natural glow about him, and he managed a healthy tan all year round despite the cold Minnesota winters. And when he smiled, his whole face lit up in a way the genius couldn’t really describe. When he stared at them, side by side, it wasn’t hard to compare himself to everything he was not. 

“Let’s face it James, no one's gonna look at me when you’re in the room.”

James' face fell, and an unreadable expression crossed his features. His voice was barely above a whisper now, and Logan had to strain to hear it over the sounds of people walking to class in the hallways. He’d almost completely forgotten the school bell had rang. 

“You don’t have to be me for someone to like you Logan.”

“Yeah, sure I don’t. That’s why there's a mile long line of girls just hoping I’ll give them the time of day. I’m a scrawny, pale, nerd who can barely string together a sentence in front of a pretty girl.” He shifted his head to the side, no longer interested in looking at his reflection. “ I appreciate that you want to help, but-”

He felt James’ hands on his shoulders, gently turning him around. Again he was only inches away from the other boy, a fact that made him nervous.Though James wasn’t making eye contact with him which made the situation a little more bearable as he stayed still under James grip, waiting for him to break the silence. 

When he finally met Logan’s eyes though, there was a deep sadness in them that had him wanting to backtrack on all of the things he had said. He could play dress up for James, pretend that all his effort wasn’t in vain. Anything to keep him from looking at Logan the way he was now.

“Do you-” He took a quick breath in an attempt to steady his shaking voice. “Do you really think that low of yourself Logan?”

Now would be the time to pull back, pretend that it wasn’t a big deal to him. He didn’t really trust his words right now, afraid he’d keep spilling his guts if he opened his mouth. Instead he gave a small nod, hoping that the other boy would drop the conversation right there. 

He wasn’t expecting the harsh tug pulling him tightly into the other boys’ arms. James had crouched down slightly, burying his face in Logan’s neck, his body tense like he would sprint away at a moment's notice. 

Logan knew exactly how he felt, overwhelmed with the close contact. Still he didn’t try to break free from the hold, instead tangling his fingers in the fabric of James t-shirt, holding him close. He didn’t know how long they stayed like that, seconds, minutes, maybe an hour before James finally spoke again. 

“I know it might not mean much coming from me. But I promise you I’m not just saying this as your best friend. You aren’t some pathetic nerd Logan. I wasn’t kidding about all the things I said yesterday, you are more than you give yourself credit for. And if some girls don’t realize it, that’s their loss.”

Logan felt grateful that James still had his face buried in his neck. That meant he couldn’t see the flush across his cheeks and how teary eyed he had gotten from the kind words. He couldn’t really find the words to speak and instead wrapped his arms around James hugging him tightly. 

Behind him, Logan heard the bathroom door slam open and wasn’t surprised when he felt James launch back from their embrace. The student didn’t even look twice at the pair before turning on his heel and heading back out. The heavy mood in the room though had left with him, and Logan didn’t really know what to do now. 

James preoccupied himself with gathering the hair supplies that had been long forgotten on the counter before zipping up his bag and turning his attention back on Logan. “So, I’ll be over at four?” 

He was giving Logan an out, if he didn’t want to do this anymore all he had to say was no. But Logan found himself nodding. Even if he felt the plan was pointless, it obviously meant something to James and he never wanted to see that look of sadness on his face again.

James smiled at his agreement, knocking him on the shoulder as he made his exit from the bathroom and just like that Logan was alone.

Being left with his thoughts seemed to be a very bad idea, as he could clearly still remember the feel of James’ arms wrapped tightly around him. They were all affectionate with each other, sure, but something felt different about that hug, and he didn’t want to think about it.

Instead he rushed out of the bathroom, heading off to make it to the very tail end of his third period class. Hoping a little calculus would distract him from thinking about what happened in the bathroom and the tutoring session later. 

Across the school, James headed to his chemistry class, hoping for the same exact thing.

[survivor-ingary]

Rites of Passage

Keith: Wish we had more time to talk to each other, with time difference and going to the first tribal council of the season. That chance never came. Hope someday we play again.

Babs: It's giving Boy Mulan rn. Wish I could've at least said hi to you lmao

Dennis: We never met

Babs: Your vibes are lovely. I wish you could've stuck around longer :( 💔

Dennis: We never met

Keith: I’m you are a nice person but since you were so inactive, it was hard to get a conversation in the game with you. Hopefully you play again when u have the time.

Babs: Hi! We didn't get to talk at all lmao hope we get to next time!

Dennis: Hope everything is okay with you

Keith: I don’t know why we just didn’t click and spoke much. Even at our first tribal together we never got much of a conversation going. Sorry

Babs: 'm sorry, dude, I had 0 recollection that you were here when I missed my first tribal. Welp. What are ya gonna do?

Dennis: We never met

Keith:  it was very sad to see you go especially for the reason you were being targeted for. The timing was unfortunate.  Where three people came over after mutiny that were safe and people were very worried about you aligning with former Kyoshi cast members at merge. You never got the opportunity only to prove otherwise. I had hoped we could have worked longer in the game being OG Pendragon. Hopefully on another season. :)

Babs: Of all the votes I casted, I regret yours the most. I wish I could've kept you in, but it was the majority regardless of my choice. I hope we can talk after and reconnect. I love your vibe.

Dennis: Sorry Moth :( I hate that you were voted out but it’s not because of you, it’s the people that you would’ve worked with.

Babs: We didn't get to connect very much, but "m'theydy" will never not get me.

Dennis: You are a saturnian legend and you were robbed.

Keith:  I wish you stayed longer with us and didn’t leave.  In the time you were with us, I saw a friendly, happy and great person.  Also a massive team player, who would be willing to color their hair for a challenge.

Babs: ROBBED. That's it, that's the whole rite. You deserved so much better, truly.

Dennis: Queen you were sooooo robbed. I wanted to work with you in this game and I am sorry that Anastasia and Brayden lied that hard to you to paint you a false scenario. You deserved so much better and I hope that one day we can see each other in another org :)

Keith: Just like you, your blindside was an iconic moment of this season. As much as I thought it was too soon for you to go but you putting a bigger target on yourself so that you don’t blindside people who you were loyal to, was going to make the situation hard. But There is no question about your loyalty hence I understand why you did what you did. But I wish we would rather choose a side then keep everyone happy and I wouldn’t have mind going with anyone at that point.  I appreciate you for making the time and effort to connect with me at my pace. I hope you understand that It wasn’t a move against you but became a move for self preservation. Hope we can have a tea spilling party after this season.

Babs: Miss Shady Boots, I see you, ma'am. Wish I could've seen more of your mess this season. Hope to see you at Mary's one day :')

Dennis: King. I did you soooooooooooooooo dirty. I hope we can still play roblox after dis game. Once I heard from Ellie that you suspected me of wanting to work with Raffy it became very clear to me you were not going to trust me down the line. You were a threat who had to go, and I’m not sorry I voted you out but I am sorry about the way that I went about it.

Keith: This was a tough vote. I knew we didn’t have much of a game connection. I knew since I wouldn’t have the option to work long-term with you this season. I didn’t want to string you along on anything or give you any false hope unnecessarily because that would just be cruel.  I honestly found you to be an amazing, down to earth and genuine person. Really wished we came together on an earlier tribe. Someone like you with such an amazing energy would be a great ally and friend. Whether, the game would go our way or not. It would still be a blast playing with you.  Also, I know u don’t need it but the offer still stands. U ever feel anxiety and need a diversion. Call me anytime and anywhere, I will help anyway I can.

Babs: CEO of plants. Your vibes are immaculate. Please let's be friends after this.

Dennis: I wish you and I had developed a game relationship. We had a very strong personal relationship like I feel like we’d be friends in real life ya know? But in this game, you were working with people that ultimately did not work with me and I felt like your loyalty would ultimately never come to me. Sorry that it had to be that way youre still cool.

Keith: Never expected to see you go the way you did. You’re an awesome and sweet person. Excited to see you succeed on twitch and ready to support an amazing person like you in anything you decide to do. Drop that link.

Babs: Dennis constantly sings your praises, and any friend of his is a friend of mine. Drop that stream link asap.

Dennis: You forever changed my life when you told me I’m actually not a red head but a brunette. That’s wild. It was awesome to play with you and I’m sorry that you were voted out the way you were. It was very refreshing to play with someone who wasn’t coming from a survivor-strategy background. Stay awesome :)

Keith: I know based of the previous seasons. Your amazing to watch play the game. From your social ability to your executions of big moves, the fact that you never back down or give up, it is amazing. But all those attributes make it hell to play with you. I knew that you wanted to take me to the end because you could beat me. So day one I knew I would cut you sometime, but unlike last time. I needed to make sure that this time when I took a shot, under no circumstances I could miss.  But getting rid of you was a decision that took into account only from events this season, I saw you subtly trying to push the narrative that I was not doing much in the game during tribal, to ensure I would have no chance to win. So I knew taking you out sooner would be better, which would deny you any chances of flipping things over.  I thank you for supporting me through the initial start of the game and that immunity challenge (which I originally thought of sabotaging. So good call on doing it yourself). You’re a great competitor.

Babs: https://youtu.be/trRgAQ7L8mE

No, but really, your tone seems very pointed. I know that we're friends irl, but I'm not willing to get a strike for anyone unless they're dying. Also, my fellow finalists are fucking sick. I want us all to win. To hell w being a mess for once.

Keith: Firstly I just would ask for your forgiveness. I sat on that call, the night u left. N It was so fucking so hard, to see someone care about the game so much and stressing themselves for it, who would do anything to keep themselves in the game. I loved that passion. N I’m sorry in that moment I had no choice but to lie to you. You were a strong player. I don’t know if it’s the red hair, but you look like an evil genius, whom I hope, I get to play with someday.

Babs: She's giving Captain Brayden Morgan rn, we love to see it. It was fun to have a not-so-cutthroat round w you for once! Cheers!

Dennis: Literally we will never be compatible to work together in a game. Two completely different types of logic. And I am at peace with that.

Keith: I am really sorry about your vote out. It was the one time that I didn’t know a flip was happening, I appreciate you still putting your faith in me during the game at that point, Wish I could have done better.

Babs: Miss Beverly Hills, I will admit, some premerge tea w spilled w me that didn't sit right w my spirit. I don't want it to be something that spreads and comes off as something that precedes your reputation in the community. Some pearls of wisdom from a messy bitch, themself.

Dennis: I really enjoyed our lil talks and happy to help you figure out your rising sign. I wish that fire you had at the beginning of the game stayed lit.

Keith: I really hope you don’t hate me. I genuinely believed you played a great game and you would win if you got to the end. I worked my way in with Dennis, so that he would have more loyalty to me. I can say that after kindergarten, in comparison to my age. You’re the only little girl I am afraid off. Also I stan you for supporting Riley in the instant tribal that way you did and for your Kind heart. Queen Move.

Babs: Miss Country Costco, our vibes aligned from the moment we started to talk! You were a target from the jump, and rightfully so. You're a tough cookie, who still manages to smile and get a laugh out of the rest of us. Never change, except for the boiled peanut thing. Ew, you weirdo. LMAO ❤

Dennis: You’re an icon and my favorite person to have met. It has been fun to enable each other’s chaos and play this game messy. Super fun to strategize with you and our long talks were also a blast. Sorry that it ended the way that it did, but we will be friends after dis I know it :)

Keith: My fellow timezone challenged brother. Words are not enough to describe what an amazing human being you are. I am so grateful to have met you and can’t wait for the game to end so I get to talk to you. My connection with you may have taken more time to develop than with Dennis, But it was a true connection throughout. And no matter what people say, you played an amazing game and I really thought you could win in the end. Officially a lifetime member of the Kenneth Fan Club.Miss Country Costco, our vibes aligned from the moment we started to talk! You were a target from the jump, and rightfully so. You're a tough cookie, who still manages to smile and get a laugh out of the rest of us. Never change, except for the boiled peanut thing. Ew, you weirdo. LMAO ❤

Babs: My dear cousin in colonization, there should've been a final 4, and that's the truth. But, as most things go, that's just not the fantasy that played out irl. Your vibes are fantastic, and I love a gay who laughs at every thing I do. It boosts my ego. Really, it does. Keep in touch!

Dennis: I truly felt like sometimes we were the same person. I’ve appreciated and admired your ability to strategize and critically think. You’re one hell of a game player and I wish you had won an immunity or two because I know how bad you wanted it. I know you’re gonna shine in every org that you play because you are a king. You are a kitty cat. You are zaddy.

[princecharmingmendes]

Heartstrings | Chapter XIV | Shawn Mendes

“ ‘It’s like a best friend, but more. It’s the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It’s someone who makes you a better person, well, actually they don’t make you a better person… you do that yourself because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It’s the one person who knew you, and accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens..you’ll always love them.’ - unknown”

“Shawn was a huge believer that the ‘soulmates’ situation’ was the most stupid thing on the planet, specially since it was such a rare thing to find someone with the same mark as you. He would do anything he could to prevent the so called 'destiny’ from happening, but could he?”

hi, this is the last chapter to this series and i'm so grateful to anyone who followed this story as it was in the building process, and i'm so happy with how it "came to life", so thank you so much. i have to shoutout to two people in particular or this wouldn't have turned out the way it did. first of all, i have to thank my bad boy anon for requesting this series on the first place and being so supportive, and also i have to thank @fanficshawn for helping me figuring this whole concept out. anyway, i hope you like it, and please give me some feedback.

new chapter of a Raul series coming soon

*Word Count: 4.8K+.

*Warnings: cursing, slight angst.

*Posted: June 18th, 2020.

                                                   -*-

Whenever I think things are going alright, everything seems to flip upside down. I can’t seriously follow Shawn’s mood swings, really. I know we’re in the middle of finals and his mom had a car crash, but Aaliyah called me to tell everything was fine and he simply disappeared for a whole week. I couldn’t find him anywhere on campus and I swear I tried being comprehensive, but I just can’t take it anymore, I’m done waiting for him to actually open up to me. And even though he got better last weekend, he got back to normal rather quickly. So I decided to study and ignore the hurricane that Shawn Mendes is on my life.

I took the tests and days flew by as I hoped to go home as soon as possible, I was exhausted and this whole semester was a mess, not for academic reasons, Shawn, and Tyler and then Shawn. Since when guys are the only thing causing trouble in my life?! I mean, that’s all they do, but I never put so much effort on them, so this is a bit frustrating. But when I left my class due to the fact that my tests were officially over and I was feeling so much lighter than I was before. Unfortunately, the light sensation was gone when I saw his jeep parked outside the building and his body leaning on it as he texted someone.

I felt my phone vibrating on my back pocket and I picked it up as I started walking away on the opposite direction he was standing. Pretty mature, running away from my problemas, I know, but what do you want me to do? There was a text from him saying he was waiting for me outside and that we needed to talk. I ignored it and then my phone started ringing and I had to pick it up.

“Hi?”

“Y/N, are you seriously running away from me?” Shawn’s voice echoed through the phone.

“I’m not”

“I’m literally looking at you looking over your shoulder”

“Well, I’m not the one who disappeared, am I?”

“That’s why we need to talk, I promised you I would explain everything, and that’s why I’m here, baby girl”

“Is that how you work?”

“What do you mean?”

“You simply vanish and suddenly you’re ready to talk?!” I know I sounded stupidly mad, but I had to be honest.

“I’m sorry, I can explain, I know it won’t change everything, but I’ll at least be honest” he said and I was able to hear his voice from behind me and not only from the speaker as he turned off the phone call.

I turned around, only to be met with a pair of those gorgeous honey eyes, that even though I was wanting so bad to punch him, the sight alone still made me weak on my knees.

“Why should I go with you? I think you’ve had enough chances”

“I know that, but again, I’ll ask you for one more, let me take you out, we can grab lunch and then pack, I can give you a ride home, please, Y/N, I’ll answer everything you want after lunch”

“You promise me that?”

“I do, can I take you with me?”

“Where are we going?”

“I can take you to the diner, the one from our first date”

“It was a fake date”

“Didn’t feel fake to me”

“It- You-“

“Come on, we can discuss this later, I know you’re hungry and you probably didn’t have breakfast nor dinner”

“How did you...?”

“I know you, Y/N, like the palm of my hand, now come on, burgers and fries and the guys are all waiting for us”

“Are they?”

“Yeah, it’s the end of the semester”

“Oh” Was all that left my mouth as Shawn extended his hand to me “let’s go then”

“Okay” he said as I grabbed his hand and interlaced our fingers, walking back to his car as he practically skipped his way back.

“How’s your mom by the way?”

“She’s fine, she’s at home”

“That’s awesome”

“Yeah” he answered and squeezed my hand softly “thank you”

I looked at him trying hard to hold back a smile, but it was impossible “Let’s not start this again, you were right, I’m starving!”

That was enough for Shawn to basically drag me chuckling to his car and I couldn’t hold back the laughter that bubbled from my throat. He was so excited to go grab lunch it was way too contagious, or maybe it’s because I was about to understand the whole situation and maybe be in peace with him. So the whole time we were in the car, he was basically beaming and jamming to his favorite songs as I tried not to die for laughing too hard. He parked two blocks from the diner cause it was filled with students and got out, as soon as my feet hit the ground, he was beside me, offering his arm like a true gentleman.

“Peace offering?” he tried with a grin and I just nodded giggling “I know this doesn’t mean I’m free, I don’t want to be free, I don’t want to be the reason you’re upset anymore, I just want you to enjoy today”

“Thank you, you are forgiven, for now at least, it’s a truce until you tell me everything”

“Works for me” he answered before placing a sweet kiss to my temple.

We entered the place and our table cheered as they saw us walking hand in hand and we just had to laugh. The guys hopped off the booth and left a spot for us both to sit in the corner against the wall, and Shawn didn’t resist the opportunity to pull me in. He rested his arm on the booth, just above my shoulder and I swear I had to hold back the need to just lean on his chest and relax after this stressful finals weeks. So instead of laying on him, I grabbed the menu to pick something up and Shawn poked my shoulder softly, which made me look at him and he was just smiling down at me which made me very confused at first, but then I heard Mel’s giggle from across the table and saw her holding her phone up at us.

“Come on, don’t pout at me, you two look way too cute for your own good” was all she used in her defense and I ended up just shrugging.

Everyone made their orders super quick cause apparently they’re all starving just like me, but even when the food arrived they kept on talking and cracking jokes all the time, which cause Brian to spill his soda through his nose. Somewhere between finishing my fries and milkshake, I felt Shawn’s arm falling around my shoulders casually, and since I didn’t do anything to shrug him off, he just kept it there, eventually pulling me closer, which led me to actually lean into him as the guys kept on talking.

Shawn looked down at me and placed a kiss on my forehead “Tired?”

“A bit, yeah”  

“I can take you home”

“It’s okay, I’ll miss them anyway and my bags are already packed and my dorm is basically ready for me to leave”

“Oh, you can come nap in mine if you want, while I pack my stuff and then we can talk”

“Seems pretty good to me”

“We can even stop by at your dorm first, so you can pick up your stuff” Shawn offered as he played with some strings of my hair “Ian’s going home after lunch, so if you want to crash at my place and stay in his room, so we can leave tomorrow morning to be at home for lunch, you can”

“That’d be great, Mel’s probably going there to stay with Mike as well, right?”

“Mhmm, but they’ll both leave tonight”

“What are the love birds whispering about?” Brian chimed in.

“We are no-“

“It’s not worth it” I cut Shawn off by placing my hand on his cheek softly “we were just talking about packing and how we are going home tomorrow”

“But that’s not interesting”

“What did you expect, Brian? Them to tell you how they’re going to have sex all night long? Come on, they’re not you” Mel said rolling her eyes playfully at the red-haired boy.

“What do you mean ‘they’re not me’?”

“They’re not dumb” Mike replied and we all laughed as Brian seemed a bit too pissed to find it funny.

“Ha-ha as if you and Ian were a lot better”

“Everyone knows we are, dude!”

“Y/N! Help me out!”

I smirked at him and shrugged “Ugh, I wish I could, but I’m to busy whispering about my sex life with Shawn to help you” and with that the attention was back on the guys.

“Our sex life?” Shawn teased with a boyish grin on his lips as I rolled my eyes at him giggling softly.

“Shut uuup”

“Don’t blush, baby, it’s okay, you know you can talk to me about everything you want”

“I swear I’m not going back to yours tonight” I threatened and he only chuckled, placing a kiss to my hair.

“I’m only kidding, don’t need to get all flustered about it”

“Yeah yeah, fuck you”

“What a dirty mouth” he gasped and chuckled at my frown “I’m only teasing you, come on, don’t get upset”

“Whatever” I said rolling my eyes, but I couldn’t hold back a smile when he grabbed my face and kissed my cheek.

We spent a little while there just chatting and laughing until some of them needed to leave, so we decided it would be best if we left as well, apparently I was the only one with my stuff already packed. Shawn and I got to my place only to pick up my stuff and I took the opportunity to say goodbye to Mel and wish her happy holidays. But before I could leave, she pulled me into the room one more time in a bear hug as Shawn quietly left with my bags, telling me he would wait for me on his car.

“Mel, it’s literally just a couple of weeks”

“I know, I know, call me clingy or whatever, but I’ll miss you” she said with a frown and I laughed at her.

“Stop being silly, you won’t even have time to miss me! You’ll be spending Christmas with your new boy”

“Yeah, that’s pretty nice, right?”

“Yeah, and you said, back in August on the first few weeks, that you didn’t want anything serious”

“Guess you’ll never know, you didn’t know Shawn was your soulmate back then either”

“Is he really?”

“Dude, are you dumb or you’re just playing pretend? He’s clearly in love with you for ages, Y/N, he literally worships you, he’s just learning how to show it now”

“Are you sure? Maybe he was right, there is no such thing as soulmate”

“Sweetie, soulmates are simply two pieces that fit perfectly, they don’t have to be romantically involved, they’re just the other’s half”

“Mel...”

“Oh, come on, Y/N, here, I’ll read the definition for you”

“It’s not necessary”

“Shush for a second, thank you” Mel places her hand above my lips to keep me quiet “ha! found it! ‘It’s like a best friend, but more. It’s the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It’s someone who makes you a better person, well, actually they don’t make you a better person… you do that yourself because they inspire you. A soulmate is someone who you carry with you forever. It’s the one person who knew you, and accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens..you’ll always love them’”

“Aaand?”

“That’s you and Shawn, obviously”

“You’re reading way too many novels for your own good, Mel, and I’m the one who’s saying it”

“Fine, but when the both of you finally realize how special is the bond between you two, I’m going to be the one to tell you that I told you so”

“Okay” I shrugged giggling and she laughed in response.

“Now go, your man’s waiting downstairs”

“Okay, bye Mel” I said hugging her one more time.

We let each other go and she just grinned at me “Bye, bitch” So I took my backpack and phone and turned to leave, but before I could shut the door she added “Oh, you’re going to be completely alone tonight, so please do me a favor and use a condom”

I shut the door a bit harder than needed and I hear her laugh from inside the bedroom. I only shook my head, unable to contain the smile from blossoming on my lips as I walked away. Shawn was sitting patiently on the driver’s seat, looking down at his phone as I climbed up in his jeep. He locked the device as he looked up at me, starting the engine and starting to drive to his place.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Melissa, she’s just crazy”

“Took you a while to notice” he said with a chuckle and placing his hand, palm up, on the console.

“She’s just great at hiding it” I replied sarcastically as I laced our fingers.

He brought our hands to his lips, placing a soft kiss on the back of mine “Whatever you say”

The drive was short to his place, and I didn’t even picked up the bags, only grabbed my backpack that had all the stuff I needed for tonight and tomorrow morning and went with Shawn to his apartment. The place was filled with bags and backpacks, but apart from that, was the nicer it’s ever been during the semester. We didn’t stick longer downstairs, Shawn only grabbed two bottles of water for us and dragged me to his room, which was a complete war zone. He only took something’s off his bed and told me to get comfy to nap as he packed.

So that’s just what I did, I took off my shoes and placed my phone on the nightstand, laying down and watching as he started to go through his clothes and fold them not so nicely, and place them on his suitcase. I didn’t even noticed when I dozed off, but was really hard to keep myself awake with Shawn softly humming to some random song. I just noticed I was off, what felt like minutes later, when I felt someone calling me in a low tone and gently caressing my face waking me up. The first thing I saw was his honey eyes, then his body crouching down beside my side of the bed and then his perfectly aligned teeth in a beautiful smile.

“Hey” he mumbled softly.

“What time is it?” my voice sounded extremely groggy “how long was I out?”

“It’s almost 5:30, ordered us a pizza, hope you don’t mind” he replied standing straight “you slept for a bit more than an hour and a half”

“Oh shit” I let out as I ran a hand through my hair “I didn’t even noticed I was out til you woke me”

“You were sleeping pretty heavily, I felt bad for waking you up, but I was afraid if I let you sleep longer you wouldn’t be tired enough to sleep at night”

“No, you’re probably right, thank you” I said as I sat up, rubbing my eyes softly “Are you done with packing?”

“Yeah, I though that maybe if you wanted to talk... We could do it now”

“Oh, okay” I said crossing my legs and he sat down in front of me.

“This is not easy for me, so I’m going to ask you two things, okay?”

“Okay”

“First, I wouldn’t like things to change between us, it might take a while but I don’t want to loose you”

“You’re scaring me” I said with a nervous chuckle and he only smiled softly at me.

“I don’t intend to, I’m sorry, and the second one, I would like to say everything I have to say first, cause I don’t really know how to say this best, and I’ve practiced”

“Okay, sure” was all I could answer and I saw his cheeks getting pink.

Shawn took a deep breath and I placed my hand on his knee, and he only smiled at me as a response.

“You know I never really believed in soulmates and stuff, I just think it is a coincidence, right? And I even covered my birthmark that everyone teased me about with the swallow tattoo, to prevent myself from being stupid and looking for the same mark on others, cause for me this shit just wasn’t real. So when I found out, that you, the girl I had a massive crush on and my best friend and I shared the same birthmark, I completely lost my mind. I didn’t want to believe it was real, I didn’t even know if you thought of me that way. I was scared to death” he took a deep breath and I squeezed his knee gently.

He once again offered me a smile as he kept on going.  “I didn’t want it to be real, didn’t want you to be my soulmate, I didn’t want to lose you, I wasn’t ready to be the one to ruin this amazing friendship we built during our whole lives, so my pretty dumb boy logic brain thought at first to ignore it, act like I never saw it before, and hell, I don’t know if it’s the soulmate/mark thing, if it’s God, if it’s C.I.A or, I don’t know, some greater love force, but every day we went through was getting harder to ignore my feelings for you and the itch sensation to just grab your pretty face and kiss you.

And then, my amazing ability to deal with feelings thought it was better to push you off than keep on falling harder for you, and I know, I was the worst to you and I’m so incredibly fucking sorry for ever treating you like that. You didn’t deserve it, and you also didn’t deserve being left in the dark, and I don’t even know how you found it in yourself to forgive me, but I’m so thankful for that. I felt like shit for ever making you sad and it literally hurt in me to see you less than happy, specially cause I knew it was my fault. And then the whole fake dating thing started and it was a mess. I was constantly jealous of Tyler, cause he’s an idiot who never deserved you and cause I really wanted you to myself. But I was completely torn between telling you everything and keep on pushing you away so I wouldn’t be the one hurting you more. Crazy, I know” he said with a ironic chuckle.

“Just a little bit” I mumbled softly and he shook his head with a smile.

“But since we started spending so much time together again, I just couldn’t keep on pushing you away, I had to be selfish and have you back on my life, and to be honest, since I first found out about our soulmate situation, that’s when I finally felt happy and relieved, when I had you around me again. And I even thought you were into me as well, hell, you kissed me, twice, and then I had to go on and ruin everything cause I got jealous over nothing, again” he said running his hands through his mop of curls, tugging at the roots “and then I was sure I fucked it all up and that you’re never going to look on my face again, and then there was my mum thing, and I couldn’t go to anybody else, I just showed up at your door without even noticing it, I am just always coming back to you.

You took care of me like no one else would, and that’s when I knew I couldn’t hold back anymore, I just needed you and I kissed you, and everything fell into place. I couldn’t stop smiling the whole day after that. And I know I disappeared for a week, I just didn’t want to see you and not explain everything you deserved to know about me, so it took me a while to get my shit together, but here I am”

He looked at me like he was staring at my soul and all I could do was hum in response.

“I thought you’d need some time to process it, so if you want me to leave I can go or if you have any questions you can ask me” he added softly and after a few minutes without any responses he started to get up to leave.

“Where are you going?” my question was barely a whisper, but he listened because he looked down at me with a frown.

“I’m leaving you to absorb it”

“No, don’t, don’t run away from me now”

“I’m not” he said sitting down again and reaching for my hands, that I promptly placed on his “I’m here now, Y/N, and I’m not going anywhere until you tell me to”

“Okay, so let me see if I get this straight” I started and he nodded with those big doe eyes “you were falling for me and freaked out when you found out we were potential soulmates, and decided to ignore it and push me away afraid of ruining our friendship?”

“Yeah”

“And then you decided it wasn’t the right thing to do and started hanging out with me again and noticed that you shouldn’t have done it on the first place without telling me anything? Your best friend?”

“I fucked up pretty badly, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did” I said and he sighed, closing his eyes that were already pretty glossy from the tears that started to form “hey, look at me, now I’m talking”

“Okay” he said sounding completely broken.

“You should’ve told me in the first place and we could’ve figured this whole thing out together, so neither of us would’ve suffered, cause even though you did hurt me, you also hurt yourself, and I know it wasn’t your intention to do it to neither of us. I know you never meant to hurt me, you were just doing what was better in your head for me, but here’s the thing, I’m the one that should decided what’s best for me, Shawn, okay? The whole problem here is...”

“That I’m an idiot?” he suggested.

“No, honey, well, a bit, yeah” I said and he let out a sad chuckle “but the main problem is miscommunication, we should’ve just talked to me, and this whole mess wouldn’t have happened”

He nodded looking down at our joined hands and I let go of them, only to cup his jaw and force him to look up at me “why were you scared of losing me? Or hurting me?”

“Me?” he asked and I nodded in response “I just- you’re perfect and I’m just Shawn”

“I’m sorry, what?” I asked chuckling softly.

“Yeah, you’re the most intelligent person I’ve ever met, you’re good in everything you do, you’re the sweetest, kindest and most beautiful girl I’ve ever met and me? I’m just Shawn, the dumb boy, that never had a real serious relationship and that likes to party on his free time, I’m not enough for you”

“I’m not all of that, I’m flattered, really am, but I’m not that, Shawnie, and you, oh baby, you’re way more than that, yeah, you might have this bad boy with a frozen heart exterior, but in reality, you have the biggest heart and are the softest guy I’ve ever met”

“Only for you” he mumbled.

“And that’s honestly all that matters to me”

“Is it?”

“Yeah”

“Really?”

“Yes, Shawn” I said giggling softly.

“So what do we do now?”

“What do you mean?”

“With all this?”

“Well, we should communicate better”

“Okay, that’s on me”

“No, it’s on me too, if I told you I liked you way too long ago, this could’ve been avoided”

“You liked me?”

“Yeah”

“As in the past?” I only hummed in response and he nodded.

“And now I’m in love with you”

“You’re what?!”

“In love with you”

“You fell in love with me?! Out of all people?Just like I did with you?”

“Yep” I said popping the ‘p’ and he laughed.

“Well, maybe there is such thing as soulmates”

“Maybe” I giggled as he pulled into his arms, hugging me tight to his body.

“So what do we do with this?”

“We can go slow with this, just go with it and don’t hold back anymore”

We just sat there, in each other’s embrace for a while, letting the eventful evening sink in as he gripped at my shirt and I played with his soft curls. Maybe we had a rough start to whatever this is, but having him like this makes me so sure that this was all worth it, if that meant I would have him like this at the end of the day.

“This can’t be real” he mumbled after what felt like ages.

“But it is, very real” I replied sitting up straight properly on his lap and he cupped my face gently.

“Prove it” he smirked at me, great, the Shawn I knew is finally back, and I only laughed in response, leaning in closer and finally pressing my lips to his softly.

The kiss was slow and passionate, I guess we weren’t in rush, we were just exploring each other calmly after everything that happened and I couldn’t feel happier. He was still cupping my jaw and my fingers were lazily wrapped in his curls, just getting used to one another. But when I tugged at it a bit harder than before and he whimper lightly into my mouth was as if something shifted around us. The whole place seemed to lit up on fire and even though all humans need oxygen to breath, suddenly it wasn’t important to us anymore. His tongue ran on my bottom lip as I let him deepen the kiss.

He was carefully leaning in and making me lay back on his soft pillows as his tongue licked into my mouth, one of his hands running down my body, only to stop at my waist, giving it a rough squeeze, getting a soft moan in response from me. And that was all Shawn needed to encourage him to keep on going. He placed a few pecks on my lips as he trailed down to my jaw and neck with his open mouthed kisses that was literally making me roll my eyes back and tug harder on his soft locks. When he started nipping on my collar bone his phone rang.

“Oh shit” he mumbled into my neck, nuzzling his face on my neck and going back to his assault there.

“Shawn” what was supposed to come out as a normal sentence ended up a moan when he left what could only be a red mark on the column of my throat.

“Hm?” he hummed completely ignoring his phone.

“Someone’s calling you”

“Yeah?”

“Mhmm” was all I could reply as he got back to my lips to kiss me all over again, living me completely dizzy, and almost making me forget about his phone.

“Let them” he mumbled before kissing me again, until I cupped his jaw and pushed him away softly making him whine in protest “I’m finally able to have you all to myself”

“And we have all night, baby, but you ordered pizza and I’m starving”

“Oh shit” he replied at the same time the doorbell rang making him groan in frustration.

“Go open the damn door, Mendes!” I said giggling and he got up to do it grumbling how mean I was, but still with a smile on his plump lips.

And I was there smiling to myself like the idiot I was, feeling my lips tingling and my whole body on fire. My phone buzzed from the nightstand and I reached to see who was texting me right now to ruin the moment, but it was only Shawn.

“Come downstairs, honey, the pizza’s here”

To Shawnie:

“I’m literally upstairs, you could’ve just called me, idiot”

From Shawnie:

“Nah-ah, don’t be rude to your boyfriend”

To Shawnie:

“Which boyfriend? I didn’t know I had one”

From Shawnie:

“Come downstairs and I’ll show you who’s you’re boyfriend”

To Shawnie:

“Nope, this bed is pretty comfy”

From Shawnie:

“Y/N, come on, baby, pretty please”

“Seriously, the pizza well get cold”

“Don’t make me go upstairs and pick you up”

“Y/N, I’m serious, if I go upstairs you’re going to be punished with tickles”

To Shawnie:

“Thought you couldn’t be rude to you girlfriend”

From Shawnie:

“Touché!”

“Now come here, baby, and I’ll make it worth it”

“Get your pretty ass downstairs”

To Shawnie:

“I’m coming”

It was all I could reply, still giggling like a teenage girl and I went downstairs, only to find him with our chat still open, writing down a reply I could never repeat out loud without turning myself into a blushing mess. But I’m not going to complain about it, I was happy, completely and utterly happy.

                                                   -*-

*Please reblog or like this post if you liked it so I’ll know.

*Thank you SO much for the love, guys, means the world to me!

*I’m sorry if there are any spelling mistakes.

*Please do not repost this without giving me the credit, this is a completely original piece and I do not give permission to copy this!

*Hope you guys enjoyed it! And thank you so much! See you soon 🙃

*xoxo

-🌙

let me know if you guys would like to be on a “taglist” for this series or anything else

and i’m sorry if i forgot anyone, please send me an ask or just comment down bellow!

[yourcoffindoor]

Bulletproof Heart Pt. 1

Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader

Prompt: Request from Anon- “ could you write one where the reader is a rock singer and they and mcr are on warped tour together, and they both lowkey like each other but think they’re both out of each other’s league, and find out that they’re both secretly into nerdy stuff + maybe getting together? thank you so much xxx”

AN: This is a multi-part series--I couldn’t help myself! Also, I based this fic around something Gerard said in a Rolling Stone interview:

Hope its ok Anon! enjoy!

You had dreamed of this moment since you first picked up a guitar. Back then it felt like an impossible fantasy, being on stage with your band, playing in front of a crowd of screaming fans; which is why it felt so surreal when your manager Tim told you that your band, The Violent Delights, had booked Warped Tour.

"June 18th," he told you with a satisfied grin, "you're in for the long haul, kids."

Your band-mates let out a collective shriek of joy, while you planted a grateful kiss on Tim's cheek.

"You're an OK manager, you know that?"

"Yeah, yeah," he said, dramatically wiping his cheek where your lips had been. "Now you guys better get practicing. This is a good opportunity to really get your name out there. Plus you got some real popular acts to compete with."

Your interest was peaked. "Oh yeah? Like who?"

"Off the top of my head? Fall Out Boy, Dropkick Murphys, and I think a band called My Chemical Romance."

"Oh shit, My Chem?" your bassist, Gavin, piped up excitedly. "That's the band I'm always trying to get Y/N to listen to."

"I'll have to finally borrow their last album," you replied, "gotta scope out the competition after all." Gavin rolled his eyes while you laughed.

Your manager got serious. "It's three months on the road, and its gonna take a lot of energy and hard work. Quite frankly, it ain't glamorous."

"Tim, when have we ever been glamorous? I wouldn't care if it were a 12 month tour," you declared, "I wouldn't miss this opportunity for the world." Liz, your drummer, nodded in agreement beside you.

"You might be singing a different tune when you haven't had a shower in three days."

"As long as I'm singing it in front of an audience, we'll be fine."

* * *

Back at your apartment you marked June 18th on your calendar with a star, feeling invigorated with excitement all over again. This was it, you thought, the next level for our band. You were determined to give it your very best, outperforming every other band there.

After all, you had worked so hard to get to this point. Starting in friend's basements and tiny cafes, the band had slowly built up a sizable following of loyal fans. You were no longer the opening act, drawing sell out crowds more often than not. You made a promise to yourself that the band wasn't going to lose this momentum. There would be no distractions for you on this tour, just hard work and the thrill of performing. That meant no parties, and absolutely no boys. You weren't ready for another relationship, you told yourself, especially since the last one ended in disaster.

Yes, this was the moment the band had been waiting for. You let the warm excitement that this knowledge brought envelope you, and you lay your head down on your pillow, falling asleep to fantasies of what lay ahead.

* * *

Its a long road from Maryland to Ohio. Columbus was the first stop of the tour, which meant your band had 6 and a half hours to go over the set-list, make adjustments  discuss their hopes and fears for the three month experience. Gavin gave you a few CDs to listen too, including My Chemical Romance's Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge.  You had heard their first album ages ago and enjoyed it, but there was something incandescent to the music you were hearing now. It stirred a whirlwind of heavy emotion, and you were enthralled from beginning to end. You made a mental note to see them perform at Warped as soon as possible.

When your bus arrived at its destination, you felt the unwelcome buzz of nerves building in your stomach. This was real, you thought, this was happening. You were used to performing at this point, but it was the amount of people you'd be performing for that was nerve-wracking. Not to mention the fellow artists who may be watching and judging your sound. You breathed deep and tried to push past the nervous thoughts that hummed incessantly around your head like insects.

Your band-mates were buzzing about with excitement, but you needed to distract yourself. Fresh air always helped settle you, so you grabbed your shoes and decided to go for a walk around the venue.

It looked almost like a circus with all the trailers and tents that had quickly populated the surrounding area. Merch stands and catering tents were being organizes as dozens upon dozens of vans and trailers pulled in. There were already a few fans camped outside of the chain-link fence that surrounded the area, eagerly awaiting a glimpse of their favorite artists.

You kept wandering, and you saw that a band was being interviewed in the media tent. There were five of them, each holding a microphone; but one member, a dark haired boy, was doing most of the talking. He was cute, you thought, and your stomach did little flips watching him respond to the questions that were being asked.

You watched a little bit longer from a distance, until you felt a tap on your shoulder. You turned to see Gavin and Liz, who had been doing a bit of exploring as well.

"Hey, there you are! I was talking to a few people by the catering tent. They said some bands are having a party on their buses later tonight, we should check it out." Gavin informed you excitedly.

You hesitated. No parties. "I dunno, I want us to be in good condition to perform tomorrow."

Liz chimed in. "All work and no play, Y/N. C'mon, it'll be a great chance to make some connections with other bands."

"If you don't come with us," Gavin pronounced dramatically, "we'll be far too devastated to perform tomorrow." His hand went to his forehead, as though he was about to faint.

"Somehow I doubt that."

"Pretty please?" Liz stuck her lower lip out pathetically.

"With sugar on top?" Gavin added.

You glanced at the black haired boy in the distance. Maybe he'd be there, a small voice in your head piped up.

"Ugh Fine! But I'll only stay for a little bit."

Satisfied, the pair stopped harassing you, and left you to continue wandering, promising to meet up with them later.

* * *

People spilled out from open trailers as music blared from an unknown source in the background. Some were already far gone, stumbling from place to place, or lying on the ground blacked out.

You followed Gavin inside one of the trailers. You watched as he interacted with the strangers inside with ease, a trait you envied. He managed to find you both drinks, and you grabbed the mystery beverage, sculling it in hopes that it would numb your nervousness. You may have been a great performer onstage, but offstage it was easy for your social anxiety to take the wheel.

Gavin began to walk away, ignoring your whispered pleas not to leave you. Fuck. It always felt awkward to not know anyone at a party. You clutched your red cup like a life jacket keeping you afloat in a sea of drunken strangers.

A man approached you out of nowhere, the smell of alcohol emanating from every pore on his body.

"You look lonely." He leered at you expectantly.

"Then it seems like you need glasses. I'm just fine on my own."

He laughed. "Ooo! I like you. You've got spunk. Name's Brent, guitarist from Midnite Heist."

"Can't say I've heard of you guys."

Brent was either oblivious to your indifference, or just chose to ignore it. "So how'd you end up at this party?"

"I'm in a band on the tour too. Lead singer actually."

"No way! That's awesome, we need more talented eye candy on this tour."

You screamed internally while he droned on, tuning him out as you continued to sip from your fast emptying cup.

You scanned the room, watching people laugh and dance. Your stomach suddenly flipped again as you noticed the black haired boy from this afternoon, solemn faced and quiet, silently nursing a diet coke in his hands. He was clearly not having a good time. The guitarist who had been talking you up soon saw you looking at the sullen figure and turned his attention towards him, his eyes lighting up with recognition.

"Gerard fucking Way!" he bellowed, carelessly sloshing his drink as he waved him over, causing a stream of alcohol to fall to the floor below.

Gerard seemed to hesitate before walking over. "It's been awhile man," he said softly. His eyes, a warm hazel, flicked to you repeatedly as he spoke. "you here for the whole tour this time?"

Brent laughed, his sobriety dangling by a thread.  "Yeah, but still not up on the main stage, unlike you big-shots." he said, punching Gerard in the arm. Gerard offered a crooked smirk in return, his patience already wearing thin. Brent nudged you in the arm. "This is Y/N, her band is new to Warped. I told her I'd show her the ropes." He grinned at you. Ugh.

Gerard seemed to sense your discomfort. "Welcome, nice to see a new face around."

Brent interrupted before you could respond. "How come you're wasting time with a coke? I would've expected you to be the first one wasted here."

Gerard's jaw clenched, and you cringed internally at the sheer awkwardness of the encounter. "I'm sober now," he informed Brent, "I don't touch that shit anymore."

Brent laughed dismissively. "Dude, you?  Do you even remember the last Warped tour? I'll give it 2 days before you're lying face down in the bushes again." he laughed as if he had just said something hilarious.

You were livid, and Gerard was on edge. You decided to step in when you noticed his knuckles turn white from clenching his coke can.

You moved slightly, ready to get between them. "Hey you know what? I'd really love a coke right now too. Mind showing me where they are?" you looked pleadingly at Gerard. He took the hint.

"Follow me."

You gave a curt wave to Brent, who looked on in confusion before continuing his drinking binge.

You stepped outside, and the sounds from the party behind you became a faint, thumping buzz in the background. You were both silent for a moment before you decided to break the ice.

"So that guy was a dick."

Gerard's scowl turned into a thin, lopsided smirk. Your heart melted a bit. "Yeah. I just realized some of these people are only tolerable when I'm drunk."

Stop. Move away. You don't need a distraction like this. You tried to scold yourself but words kept escaping from your lips, prolonging the encounter.

"This is my first time doing Warped Tour, but I'm assuming these parties are pretty much never-ending?"

Gerard pulled out a cigarette and lit it. "Oh yeah, its every night for some of these bands. You're in for an interesting experience." You looked at him for a moment, perhaps for a bit too long. You had never seen anyone look so beautiful while surrounded by clouds of smoke.

"Yoohoooo! Y/N!" you heard the hollering of a clearly tipsy Gavin call from the doorway of the next trailer. "Where'd you go? The night is young! Get back here!"

You sighed. "That's my cue. Well actually that's my bassist, but he'll never let me live it down if I don't go back in there."

Gerard turned his head to the side and exhaled. "Catch you around. Next time you need rescuing from a douche-bag just light the bat signal."

You gave him a soft smile, forcing yourself to turn away and walk back to the trailer. As you did, you whispered aloud to yourself as a reminder:

"No distractions. No boys."

[flow-green]

Fresh dog onwer and a Fuck-It-Diet

Slowly I am crawling out from my black hole. Few months of silence has been broken. I disappeared for a bit due to quite severe reason. I will not reveal it here in details, if anyone is interested, feel free to DM me :). It was not related to my ED. Life just happened and decided to throw quite a tricky challenge on my way, which luckily got solved in a positive way, and within March I managed to pick myself back up again.

These two months were quite adventurous and opened my eyes on many levels. I started to appreciate more what and who surrounds me and how dear and important my family and close ones are to me. I realized that I hurt them with my self-destructive behavior and this constant worrying over me is an unnecessary burden and a source for stress. So, I am really grateful for this experience. More and more I have started to let go of the restrictions and demons in my head and slowly move towards a mentality that my body is my own temple, my own home and serves me and myself only, and not someone else. Or, well, perhaps in an uncertain future it will be a temporary home for another person, so I should really take care of my body.

These last two weeks have opened my eyes even more, because by a happy accident I stumbled upon a book, but more on that a bit later. First, I would like to tell you about one of the biggest changes of my life, which has brought so much happiness and positivity to our lives. Namely, we now have a new family member. No, I did not have a baby (a bit ironic in this context...), but now there is a constant cheerful pit-a-pat on our floor, made by four cute little paws. On February 16 we got an unexpected opportunity to get a dog! Charlie has now been with us almost 2 months, 2 amazing months. In his quite unique size and unknown breed (we suspect a fox is somehow involved...) he has turned us into these crazy dog lady and sir, you know, like a crazy cat lady.

I think if people saw us right now just the three of us in our natural habitat, they would never ever dare to do any official busines with us.

Anyhow, here he is. Charlie even has his own Instagram account (another sign that we definitely are not normal)

Mr. Dog has a massive amount of dog fur which happily floats all over the house and if we vacuum the entire place on Wednesday morning, all the fur bunnies have taken their natural place back to themselves.

Charlie is cool. With his happy face he rides with us to all the places around the country, he loves car rides. Every weekend we go to some new place in Estonia to explore, our 10 km (over 6 miles) hikes have become our cool new habit. One morning was especially special. We both lost our sleep around 4 AM in the morning and after an hour of chit chat in the bed while Charlie still slept between us (yes, he is a heavy sleeper and definitely not a morning person and yes, he sleeps in our bed. Deal with it), we decided that enough of bedtime and no more sleep. let’s wake up as the sun will rise at 6 AM. Let’s make some breakfast and lunch to go, watch the sunrise with coffee and then go to an early hike in Käsmu, around the epic seaside in Northern Estonia. Done deal. This was one of the most amazing days in my life.

Charlie is just like a therapy dog. Every time when I feel like breaking down in tears, I hug Charlie tight and let him comfort me with his soft cuddles and confident and wise eyes. All the sorrow and worries are gone. Charlie has also made us so active physically. We take several longer or shorter walks throughout the day. I have started to really love walking and running again and for me, for myself, and not for calories or for punishment. I am not counting distance or pace anymore. Every evening I fall asleep, happily excited about my upcoming morning run. I truly enjoy every last step I take.

But, as I promised, a few lines about my new ‘diet’ called The Fuck It Diet. Recently, I pampered myself with another e-reader and this motivated me to search some books which are suggested for people struggling with eating disorders. ‘The Fuck It Diet’ popped up and caught my eye. I managed to get it as an e-book and eagerly dug the pages in. The first lines already made my jaw drop: at first with anger towards the stated facts and later on because of complete understanding.

This book has totally topsy-turvy’ed my views as it describes my current situation in exquisite correct details. My whole belief system about diets, eating habits and weight numbers have completely changed. The whole book teaches you how to get rid of food addiction, self-esteem issues and obsession about body image and weight.

Why have I spent over 10 years battling with anorexia, bulimia and binge eating disorder? Why do I relapse in my hardest moments and total body hating world into an absurd calorie restriction, where I lose 6+ kg in 2 months, can keep myself skinny, yet sad for maximum 3-4 months, because I will not allow myself to eat anything as I want to lose even more to keep some buffer weight, then get tired and surrender and then eat back all those lost pounds and even more within few weeks? Why can’t I lose weight if I decide that instead of starving myself instead, I will go on some new diet, but this gives no result, weight will not drop, I get frustrated and get back to purging out food or get back to bingeing? Why does this wheel go round, and round and my weight will keep fluctuating vigorously and never stabilizes? Who do I go from one extreme to another? I have punished and scolded myself for years. I have tried to search or reasons: perhaps my genes are messed up and I am forever destined to keep my intake at 500 calories, so I can keep myself in that sweet spot of underweight and normal weight (because that is the only acceptable weight range for me. Sick, isn’t it?)

And then I got my answer: it is not about me or my genes. It’s because of these diets, no matter how beautiful the creators have painted them. It’s because human body has not meant to follow absurd rules about eating, be it fasting, LCHF, keto, paleo, raw vegan, or even mindful eating (eat slow! Rate your hunger! It’s under 10? You are not about to collapse from hunger? Good, drink some lemon water instead. See? Another bunch of rules to stress your brain out).

Most people commute from one diet to another, follows the rules and counts the calories for few months and then a relapse enters. it always does. Then, you will buy another diet plan, which promises even better results. You will haul for absurdly expensive foods like nut butters, almond flour, coconut oil. You replace your favorite foods with some silly alternative. You Google why the hell do I have a massive craving for Chocolate, which of course is your forbidden food. Google tells you have a magnesium deficiency (which might actually be true you know), but the solution: eat 12 almonds and forget about the chocolate. Be honest, that answer frustrates you a bit, deep down. So, instead to go and buy the damn chocolate and make your brain shut up, you force the craving down because FORBIDDEN! But at some point, you still go, buy the chocolate, eat it, and then promise yourself that now you will not touch another piece of chocolate once in upcoming months, will also restrict your intake a few weeks and eat your almonds. And are miserable. And then you eat some more chocolate. And are miserable again. Round and round, it goes.

And you gain those 10 pounds back. WHY, for the love of god?

Simple: your body has no clue whatsoever anymore, what the hell is going on. Years and years, you have kept your body in an unnatural state of starving, famine. Dietary culture has taught us that in order to lose weight all nice, you need to keep yourself in a calorie deficit and this should be around 1200-1500 cals in a day, maximum calorie intake cannot be more than 2000. You count every bite, every mouthful, you write it all down to MyFitnessPal. You eat your food, but you still crave for something more and are already worried about your next meal: can I eat something soon? What can I eat for dinner? Dude, you JUST ate, and you SHOULD feel full. If you don’t, there is obviously a problem. If you are full and STILL want something, there is obviously a problem. And your body is screaming at you the only solution. You worry about food 85% of your day (for me it was 100%, yes, even when I was having sex. Just SPECTACULARLY awesome!)

Body is not stupid. Body now has been taught that no matter what, there is always a next diet and famine state around every corner all the time. Body is scared. Body listens to the brain which constantly repeats those endless rules about eating. No chocolate, no pizza, bread is bad, cheese is bad, ice cream?! Are you stupid? Only a mango sorbet, something sugar free and watery or even better: make your own ice cream from banana (but remember, only HALF A banana!). Forbidden fruit is always the sweetest and then you will go and buy 2 liters of ice cream and eat it all in one go. You will torture yourself afterwards because ice cream is forbidden. You cannot eat it; you need to restrict and go for a 20-k run.

Now comes the most sillies, but the most logical fact: in order to break the cycle, there is only one simple solution: EAT! Everything. A lot. Eat it all that you have craved for years and years and have vetoed. Eat your cravings. Eat even when you are not hungry. Just eat whenever you feel like it. Eat until you are absolutely 100% satisfied and say honestly: no more. This process can take weeks, months, even years, depending on the individual. People in the book describe how they needed three whole years to reprogram their body back to its natural cycle. And it is scary, boy it’s scary. But you just need to take the leap into the water full speed, no splashing with your toes a bit to test the water. The faster you jump, the faster you get the wheels running. Result? Body calms down. Brain can finally rest and reprogram itself back to the way it must be. No food is forbidden anymore (unless you have a severe nut allergy. Please do not eat nuts if you might actually die). The brain now knows that whenever it wants something, it can actually get it, no strings attached, and calms down.

Yes, your will gain weight, sorry, this is not all strawberries and cream (yum, now I want strawberries and cream, will get some for dinner). At first, your body will not trust you. Would you trust yourself if you have been treated miserably for years? It is certain that it’s a trick and another diet is just around the corner. It takes time for it to calm down and start functioning the way it was meant to be. Weight will go up until the body heals and then... it will stop, the weight will naturally balance out, probably even go back down between the weight set points that everyone has, depending on your body and personal physical factor. I know that my middle goldilocks zone is about 5-6 kg more than my absolute lowest weight (right now I am around 10 kg heavier than my all time lowest and it is still in between my weight set points) and I am now completely okay with that number.

And I have now practiced this approach for half a week. Day before yesterday I had some Hesburger (McDonalds basically; had a vegan burger with FRIES), yesterday I ordered myself a vegan pizza without a second thought, with vegan cheese and everything, the whole package. I have now eaten ice cream for 4 days straight (one of my biggest forbidden foods), some vegan desserts. And yesterday I had my first shocking moment. I bought myself another ice cream after the pizza and right after I had bought it, I realized, that I actually do not want it right now. I have no craving. I got home and threw it in the freezer. After my dinner of soup and grilled cheese (!!!), I decided that I am going to eat the ice cream now. I had eaten half of it when I felt that I don’t want it anymore. I still finished it as it was a really small cone, but it was clearly more than enough. The rest of the evening I had no more cravings at all, no hunger. I didn’t even think about food anymore. I just enjoyed the movie with my SO and Charlie. Usually after dinner I was already overthinking about my next meal that was obviously hours away in the morning as no food after 6 PM and I definitely want something as breakfast is so far away, and besides, I try to postpone breakfast anyway as much as possible because intermittent fasting 16 hours +, which made me especially cranky and created countless of mornings with fights and tears with my SO. But now... no cravings and hunger for the entire night. Today morning I woke up with stomach still full from last night. I did not think about foo. Few hours later I bought some oatmeal, carrots, and hummus – and not because it is super healthy, and I am not allowed to eat anything else. No. I actually had a massive craving for carrots and hummus and oatmeal. For lunch, we decided to take some local hand-made burgers. I ordered vegan burger, but as a naked version without buns. Once again, not because empty forbidden bread calorie, but because I actually wanted that hearty vegan patty to sit on a pile of fresh leafy greens, peppers, tomatoes, and cucumbers. My stomach was still quite full of carrot snacks and past dew days’ fast food. I had no inner battle about this with craving vs forbidden food. Nope, I actually did not want any bread or bun.

That was around 3 PM. And hours later I am still full. Back then I had a sever fear over next meal or even a desperate need for additional snack (a forbidden chocolate, ice cream or something similar), but nooo, forbidden, which made the craving and fear even worse.

I have not thought about food today anymore, except now that I write this.

I have gained weight, yes, and it scares me to the core, and I confessed this few days ago to my SO. He looked at me with surprised eyes and said that to be honest, he has not even noticed I have gained, he only realizes this when I have days with severe low self-esteem and when I try to hide my naked body. I think the gain is around 5-6 kg (over 10 pounds), which is not even that big of a deal. Of course, I see and know I have gained, because my clothes now fit kind of perfectly, some rare pieces are a bit tight (I’m in XS-S size, 4-6, and clothes used to be kind of baggy even. Girl, do you need more proof that you are NOT FAT?), my legs are not super-tight sticks with a thigh cap and my collar bones do not press out. I have now extra inches on my body and probably this is the most difficult thing to accept. Recently, I saw over years that the first weight number of 5 has turned into 6 (in kg), over night, which means it was probably water weight from weekend of drinking and salty foods, so this means the actual one is still few kg lower, but the fear is still very real and at that moment I realized that I am tired of crying over a pair of numbers. I am so done. On this day, I asked my partner to hide the scale so I would not now where it is. I went for my morning run and when I came back, I saw him grinning and the scale had disappeared.

On Saturday we went to a birthday party. There was a hot tab with out-doors transportable sauna. Everyone was wild from happiness, except me. I had my bikini with me but for few days already I had stressed out that I will not join the tub, I will not expose my fat body like that. But my friend suggested me to break down the stubbornness, overcome my fears and just do it. No one will judge me, nobody notices, nobody even cares. All those fears are demons in my head. At the party I was sure that I will not go. But then, at some point, I gave myself a mental kick on the butt and went for it. And I am not sorry. I had a blast! Didn’t seem like anyone was giving me looks from head to toes and judged me with their eyes ‘god she is fat!’

This week has been tough, but I now have so many small wins in my bag and overcoming several problems - something I thought I can never do. My motivation has skyrocketed. I could never believe that there might be a time where I am not thinking about food so obsessively. Of course, I know that this is just the beginning of my healing and a long way is to go. I do believe it takes months to amend the damage done in over 10 years.

One of my first fears when reading the book was: What if I eat myself to the absurd size of 400 lbs. seen in those scary reality shows. And my brain gave me the logical answer right away: those 400pound people are also mentally sick, obsessive over food. They have eaten themselves to the slaves of food from very early stage of their lives, being influenced by family, social environment and whatnot, but I am only in my early thirties and 80% of my life I have eaten well-balanced foods and been in the normal weight range, some years I struggled with slight overweight due to puberty and stress from massive changes in life, but this sorted itself out naturally as I got rid of the puberty hormones and stress, weight fluctuated minimally, until I hurled myself head first to the world of diets and eating disorders,

So, most definitely I cannot eat myself to a 400 lbs., it is not physically possible. Perhaps the most real case scenario would be me gaining to 65 kg +, which is coming close to small obesity, but even this is not highly possible as I see that when eating normally, I cannot fit that much food in me and when my metabolism actually heals, the weight should stabilize out and probably even go down a bit. That would actually be a dream: that it will stop going up AND DOWN. I really  want that mental and physical stability back.

I miss a normal life. I am in a seriously perfect relationship which has been really close on the edge of abyss because of my sickly behavior. I have gambled with so many good things in my life and almost lost it all. Enough, seriously. I have

[harringrovetrashrat]

How about something like this for a prompt? Steve takes Billy on a date to see a movie. A horror movie. Billy doesn't want to tell Steve that he's terrified of horror movies and that they give him nightmares. Because that's just embarrassing. So he doesn't say anything. Flash forward to the end of the night, Billy's staying over at Steve's where he has a really bad nightmare and Steve comforts him.

I’m finally working through prompts!  I’m sosososo sorry this took me so long.

The history of this fic is the upside down ended after the tunnels, and Steve likes scary movies because he watches them to ‘desensitize’ himself.  Billy and Steve started fooling around in the summer, and then feelings got involved, so they are trying out this whole dating thing.

Once again, I’m sorry this took so goddamn long!

--

When Steve suggested seeing Nightmare on Elm Street 2, Billy had laughed, because it was obviously a joke.  Steve didn’t watch horror movies.  Had never expressed much of an interest in them.  At least not to Billy.

But then Steve had furrowed his brow, offended.

“What?” He pouted.  “I saw the first one last year, I wanna see this one with you.  Like,” he blushed, looking at his hands, “Like a date.” Billy’s mouth went a little dry.  It never ceased to amaze him how sweet, how romantic and innocent Steve could be.  He looked at his hands, fidgeting with his metal rings.

“Sorry, I-- For whatever reason I figured you didn’t like horror movies,” Billy said.  He’d seen the first one too, but was positive he didn’t want to see the second.  In fact, he hadn’t wanted to see the first one either.  Billy had taken Trisha Connors on a date, and she wanted to use the movie as an opportunity to hold onto him and try and give him a hand job in the back of the theater.  For once, he was grateful for her pushy nature, trying to ignore the movie playing.

Unfortunately, it ended up just making his dreams scary and horny.  He really didn’t want to see this with Steve.

But he was giving him his puppy dog eyes, pleading with Billy.

“I’ll buy?” Steve offered.  “Popcorn and soda too.” Billy let out a breath he hadn’t been aware of holding and gave Steve a strained smile.

“Sounds good, babe.” Honestly, it was worth it for the way Steve lit up, smile stretching across his face.

“Awesome!  I was thinking this weekend, since it’ll be closing soon, and we could uh,” he blushed, biting his bottom lip and looking up at Billy through his lashes, “We could have a sleepover of sorts.” He coughed.  “If you, uh, catch my drift.” Billy snorted, tossing his feet up on the coffee table.

“I get you, Bambi,” he replied, deciding he would focus on the end of the night.  “Getting forward now that you have your own place, huh?” Steve blushed, ducking his head as he smiled.

“You’re such a dick,” he laughed, a quiet, huffy thing.  Billy flopped over, laying his head in Steve’s lap so he could scratch his scalp.  He got lost in the sensation, imagining what they could do Friday night.  The fun they could have.

--

To say that Billy had hated the movie was an understatement.  Steve had been giddy, spilling some popcorn as he gestured animatedly about the movie.  Billy had nodded along, hoping his smile didn’t look too much like a grimace.  They strolled into the theater, choosing some seats in the middle.  The people in the back would be preoccupied, but they were far enough away from the people near the front that they could lean close, whispering to each other during the trailers.  Billy smiled, flicking his tongue at Steve suggestively.

“This popcorn is pretty slick with butter,” he murmured.  Steve blushed and gave him a slight shove.

“Dude, imagine how much that would fucking burn on your dick,” he replied, chuckling.  Billy snorted and looked away, covering the bottom of his face in embarrassment.  He hated when he laughed like that.  Steve grabbed his knee as the theater went dark and Billy’s breath hitched.

And then when the movie had started, when Freddy, a monster, had been inside Jesse?  Was festering and waiting to control him to kill, to hurt?  Billy didn’t like the parallels to his life at all.  It had him sweaty and jumpy, licking his lips and tapping his fingers nervously.

Steve had definitely noticed how stiff, jittery, and uncomfortable he was, if the worried eyes he was giving him were any indication.  Billy slipped his hand into Steve’s, giving it a squeeze while Freddy appeared as Jesse’s reflection in the mirror.  Steve squeezed back, looking back to the screen.

Billy tried to ignore the rest of the movie, focusing on someone near the front who looked like he was jacking off alone.  He was almost impressed by the guy’s courage.  He looked around the front of the theater, avoiding the screen at all costs.  Steve would jump and laugh in scared delight, squeezing Billy’s hand, leaning over to whisper,

“This is so good!” Billy nodded dumbly.

When the movie was finally over and they got to leave, Steve effused about how great the movie was, gesturing animatedly.  Billy nodded along at the right parts as best he could, focusing on the fact that they’d soon be back at Steve’s place.

“...Billy, are you even listening?” Steve huffed.  Billy zoned back in, giving Steve a lecherous smile, running his tongue over his top teeth.  Steve flushed.

“Sorry, pretty boy,” he said, voice low and husky.  “Just thinking about what I wanna do when we get back to yours.” Steve’s nostrils flared and he picked up his pace.  Billy laughed and matched it, giving Steve’s waist a quick squeeze.  “Excited, huh?”

“Oh shut up,” Steve said with a smile.  “You’re one to talk.” Billy sorely wished he could kiss Steve right then.

Billy didn’t wait, pressing Steve up against the door as it was closing.  He licked into his mouth, cupping the small of Steve’s back and pressing his thumb into one of his dimples.  Steve whined, hips jerking forward.  With a smirk, Billy walked backwards, using one hand to feel his way to the couch.  The back of his knees hit the edge and he sat, hard.  Steve followed, straddling his lap.  He kissed along Billy’s jaw, biting his neck.  He sucked on the bite, gently scraping his teeth along the skin.  Billy let out a low moan, bringing his hand up to tangle in Steve’s hair.

“Shit, Spots,” Billy grunted.  Steve pulled back, pouting.

“You know I hate that nickname,” he said.  “Call me that again and you won’t get your dick sucked tonight.” Billy scoffed and pulled Steve forward, kissing him again.  Steve stuck his hands inside Billy’s open shirt, and he arched his back as Steve’s thumbs found his nipples.

Later, after they had moved to Steve’s bed, after they had once again learned every inch of each other, Steve woke up to the sound of a strangled scream.  He felt Billy next to him, writhing in his sleep.  He sat up, rubbing his eye and looking over in concern.  Billy was still asleep, but his brow was furrowed and he was drenched in sweat.  He let out a whimper before his eyes snapped open and he let out a scream that made Steve jump.

“Billy?” Steve said, gripping his shoulder.  Billy jerked and looked at him, terror in his eyes before he recognized what he was looking at.  “Babe?  What’s wrong, Blue?” Billy swallowed, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose as tears leaked out.  He let out a shaky breath and gasped in air, keeping a sob at bay.  Steve grabbed Billy’s hand, letting him squeeze tightly as he took deep and strained breaths.  It was quiet except for Billy, Steve’s mind racing to figure out what could have set this off.  But Billy wouldn’t tell if Steve pressed too hard, so he waited.  He kissed Billy’s temple, cupping his face and pulling him close.  Billy wrapped his arms around Steve, pressing his face into his chest.  Steve scraped his nails along the base of Billy's skull, relishing the touch.

“I haven’t been honest with you,” Billy mumbled.  He heard Steve’s heart speed up, so he tightened his arms.  “Nothing like that, baby,” he said.  “It’s that I don’t like horror movies.  I don’t-- They freak me the fuck out.” His voice was croaky as he forced the words out, feeling like a fucking child, unable to watch some dumb, scary fake movie.  Steve let out a pained noise and he kissed the top of Billy’s head.

“Babe, why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, upset that Billy had put himself through that.

“S’embarrassing,” Billy mumbled.  “They give me nightmares.  It’s like I’m some fucking toddler.”

“Nightmares?”

“Yeah,” Billy sighed.  “And this--” He let out a low groan, squeezing Steve.

“Was this one bad?” Steve murmured.  Billy nodded.  “What happened?”

“I--” Billy’s breath hitched, “It was like the movie except-- Except I was turning into Neil,” he choked out.  Steve gasped and gripped Billy in his arms, fingers tangling in his hair.  “I was hurting everyone, hurting you, and I-- I’m already so scared that’s gonna happen--”

“Billy, babe, baby, no,” Steve said, pulling back and kissing away Billy’s tears.  “No, no, that is not gonna happen.  That’s not going to happen.”

“How do you know?” Billy replied, panicked.

“Because you’re doing better,” he said, voice sincere and earnest.  “You’re learning and growing.  You’re scared of turning into him.  That’s a good sign.”

“But--”

“I love you,” Steve said, making Billy’s throat close up.  He couldn’t look up, couldn’t see if he really meant it.  “And I won’t let you.  I’ll be here to help you, to take care of you.  If-- If you let me.” He trailed off at the end, making Billy finally look up.  Steve was watching him, nervous and tense.  Billy moved up and gently pressed his lips to Steve’s, putting everything he didn’t have the words to say into the kiss.  When Billy pulled back, he smiled, small and weak, but there.

“I’ll always want you in my life, pretty boy,” Billy whispered.  Steve’s breath stuttered and he ducked to steal another kiss.

[a-merman-not-a-guppy]

What I love about your Muses and You

A positivity post by me (Lena) with some commentary by my muses

MK:

You do an incredible job with all kinds of characters, and I love that you do a good balance of good and evil, but you also know how to find that gray area. I think working in that gray shady area is a lot of fun and you really pull it off. You come up with some wild plot arcs and you always find a way to keep people guessing (personally am thrilled about the polyamorous relationship. Nice one!)

Louie: yeah Lou’s been a real cool dude. A R T man. I may not be skilled, but he was always fun to learn with. Someday I’ll learn more. Ashley: Belle like is literally saving my ass with this job. Seriously my favorite person at the moment.

Avarick:

man I’ve always loved writing with you. We always clicked well with that, and I’ve loved all the characters you brought into the rp. I was so so so excited to see that you were coming back and that you wanted to bring RIKU! I couldn’t believe it! I loved it when we wrote horse buddies back in the day, and I’ve loved every other opportunity we’ve had to do stuff. I’m so so glad you’re back to writing with us.

Sora: =DDD RIKuUUUUU. I missed him so muuuuch. Roxas: yo who the f is this Riku guy?

Mckala:

You have always been the backstory queen, and I tip my hat to you. You do the level of research that always blows my mind. I just do not have the time or the energy for it, but you have all these lists, giant ass family trees, you know the works. It’s really impressive, and one can see the dedication that you put into your characters.

Louie: so Elena’s like a sick Crown PrincesS? That’s dope! When you gonna take back the kingdom man? Queen it uuup!

Finn: Adella’s always been nice to me when I would visit Ariel. She’s really talented.

Wilbur: (imagine a happier time) mum’s great! She’s always there if I need her to be, and while she won’t buy me everything I bloody want, she knows what I really need.

 Ashley:

honestly such a great person and great rper. I think the most memorable thing for me lately has been Ashley popping in occasionally when she thought I might be upset or bothered by something and checking in. Talking things out and venting together. She’s honestly such a great listening ear, I think we’re really lucky to have her in this rp. I may be slightly biased toward Ashlee T. and Ollie, but all her babes have nuance and I love them. Ashley: Ashlee!!! One of the only people in this world that matter!!! <3 We made it through some nightmares. Things look up from here babe. Wilbur: duuude Ollie I didn’t realize you were adopted too and it’s the coolest fact I got to know about you. It’s awesome to have someone to relate with.

 Pet:

I feel like we used to have a harder time connecting writing wise and things were awkward, and I’m so happy to say it doesn’t feel that way at all anymore. The things we’ve written have been so fun, and I feel like (correct me if I’m wrong), but I feel like bringing Chickaroo together allowed for us to start having more conversation and plotting and just. It opened doors in some way. I think it’s awesome because I love your writing and I love getting to connect with your babes more. As you know, Al has my heart now because he just does, and Barrel has also managed to steal my heart. But all of your babes are so great, and I’m glad that we’ve managed to connect better. I look forward to more time spent writing hilarious things like Dipper and Roxas at the bar, or Al teaching Arthur about the internet.

Louie: yo Al’s like the chillest boss I’ve ever had. He’s also the only boss I’ve ever had but still! Cool dude!

Roxas: Dipper’s a nice guy. I hope I can get to know him more.

Sora: Dipper is Mabel’s TWIN BROTHER =DDDD that’s SO cool!!!

Wilbur: duuude. Barrel is like the person I didn’t expect to ever care about in a billion years, but if anyone did anything to him...like...die.

Alex:

I feel like we also used to not really vibe and were awkward with each other, and I’m super glad that’s changed because you’re literally so cool and you send such fun stuff and we just have a great time! I love Nyx, you know that I have an appreciation of Arista from afar, and Haley is just...great. All your babes are. I’m so happy we’ve finally made that writing connection because it’s been so fun to talk to you and get your perspective on things. Ahh it’s great. Can’t wait to see what you come up with in the future.

Ashley: Haley was like...almost cool. It’s a shame she’s such a goodie goodie two shoes.

Dot: Haley’s a good dragon? What the hell? She seems okay, but I’m still not sorry I shot her in the foot. She totally deserved it.

Clarion: Nyx has been my constant companion for some time now. I’m so grateful for her presence.

Bee:

Bee my big bro, my wife, my partner in ridiculous here too. You’re such a great joy to write with, and I love the way you tell your stories. I’m still so impressed by your take with Hera, and how she is as a sorceress. That’s so damn cool! And of course you’ve got the lovely Marie who’s charming and vain and I love that about her. Marie is a gift, your writing’s a gift and I’m grateful you’re in the rp. Not to mention you and Chloe are our resident British experts and that’s great. Thank you for joining the rp and for bringing the perspective you bring. Look forward to more crazy storylines with you.

Louie: yo nerd! Just kidding, wassup Huey? You’re the best big bro a guy could have. Keep it real, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.

Fflewddur: Marie! My beautiful wife! Love of my life! The world must envy me for having the most amazing wife in the entire world.

Sora: Kristoff! Best roomie ever !!! =DDDD hope you don’t mind if my best pal Riku stays with us. Thnx dude <3 <3 <3

Becky:

I mean where do I begin. We’ve had such great stories and ridiculous teen hijinks and theatrics. It’s been such a good time. And of course, there are few people I’d be sure about doing a big plot like the one we’ve got going with Ashley and Roo, but we’ve managed it, and I think it’s been a really really fun story to tell. So thanks for taking that leap with me and letting us tell a ridiculous story together. It’s been awesome. Glad to have you in the rp.

Ashley: well, you’re an alright guy I guess Roo.

Bryer:

we’ve only really had a little bit of time to write together before with Dash, but it was super fun, and even just observing, I’ve loved seeing your characters on the dash and seeing where they’re at. Hatter’s awesome too. It’s great to have him around in the rp, and especially with such a different take than we’ve had in the past. Love the werewolf storyline, love to see it.

Chloe:

I feel like you’re a person after my own heart. Mitte often makes me think of my old Shego muse, and that just makes me happy because I just love the chaos that she brings. I love all of your babes of course, but that just makes her a bit more #1 in my heart. You’re also so chill to plot with and to come up with these crazy schemes. I mean remember how we sort of pitched Mitte turning on a bit of a whim and now here she is? It’s literally so good and you went with it and I just...ugh. I truly love it and seeing the growth. All your babes tell such awesome stories, and this just tells me I need to find a way to plot with you more when time/work allows. Keep up the good work. You’re kicking ass.

Anthony: what a brat. As long as this girl doesn’t cause me any more trouble though I suppose she’s tolerable. 

Dezi:

We haven’t been able to interact much writing wise, but I hope to change that someday soon/when time/work allows. Charlotte is honestly such a great character, and I think it’s awesome to see her and Tiana around, I think it’s the first time in a long time...if we’ve ever managed that before? I don’t know. It’s seriously so cool and I love reading your stuff together, and just Charlotte’s stuff in general. Keep cool and carry on writing a great babe. 

I wish I had things my muses could say but I don’t think I’ve had the chance to interact with Charlotte. Just Judy before ;-; Forgive me. I still think you’re swell.

Emma:

Boy do I love that you swooped in with your kids. Phineas, Tiana and Aquata are such dynamic characters. It blows my mind, truly. I love them all. I love how ready you are to plot and to throw out great ideas. Phineas has the kind of chaos energy that I love (obviously, as Louie is my chaos energy). You’re so chill with me trolling your babes on twitter, and a joy to write with. Thank you for coming back as well. I’m glad we’ve gotten the chance to write together. <3

Louie: duuuude we gotta do something crazy again soon? Operation dumbass commence? Jk jk Operation Too Cool For School.

Wilbur: what is with that twitter lady tho? Too old to be arguing with teens on twitter don’t you think?

Ginny:

Ahhh i mean we’ve done so many fun things and continue to do. With so many connections and stuff it’s hard not to! I’m so glad you rejoined as I have and that we got to bring these characters into the rp that vibe (and/or fight each other). To each their own. Our kids have an energy what can you do? I think your characters are all awesome, and I love seeing them on the dash. I love writing with them. Two besties, no wait THREE now with Kairi, isn’t that just wild? I love that best friend energy our babes have. Support it, thanks for writing all kinds of good things with me. You’re a gem.

Finn: I love you Ariel. You’re the best of friends. I’m so lucky to know you =]

Ashley: Ashle B!!! Babe you are a rockstar. You’ve kind of been the glue of our friendship I think. I love you babe. Stay true to you and kick some ass in college!

Wilbur: (in happier times) DADDD!!! Best dad to ever dad, person that gets me cool things. Coolest of dads. You rock.

Sora: ????!!! KAIRI???!!???

Hannah:

Hannah Hannah Bo Bannah Fee Fi Fo Fannah HANNAH...I couldn’t resist. You’ve been so great to talk to and write with and honestly it’s been so great to love our babes together and talk about BTS together and talk kpop in general. I’m so so so glad that we’ve gotten to know each other more over these last few months and stuff. You’ve really been so great, and our plots and characters are such a good time. So glad you got my brother, and my best friend. It’s awesome to have and to write with you.

Louie: DEWEEEEEEEEEEY. DEWFORD. DEWEYYYYY….hi.

Louie: TAEEEEEEE. Bro. my dude. Sorry I make memes outta you all the time. But in my defense...your face is kinda funny. Love u dude =]

Sora: Mabel!!! My GIRLFRIEND =DDDD you’re great! I love spending time with you and looking at hot boys! Speaking of...I have a friend you might think is hot…

Finn: Tae! Thanks for being so nice to me and allowing me to open myself up and get to know you. I’m so lucky that Nemo introduced us. You’re a really great friend =]

Jaby:

JABYYYYYYYYYY. Man we always had muses that vibed and our writing just clicked and that always brought me joy. I’m so glad you came back, because your characters are great, the stories you tell are great, and I really really missed having you around. I know we’ve both been busy lately with our own work stuff, but I definitely want the chance to connect some muses again, because I love your babes and you and I’ve been so happy to see you. Let’s figure something out someday when my schedule stuff evens out a bit better.

Jean:

you haven’t been in the rp long, but boy have you made an impact already. Lachlan is amazing!! Truly an icon and I’m so glad that you brought him in. And so glad that you’re here. We’re all lucky to have you. I really think you’re bringing in such a unique take and writing and it’s just awesome to see and to see Launchpad driving around, and driving people a little wild on twitter. It’s beautiful.

Louie: soooooo did you really nearly kill my bro?

Kiara:

We also don’t really have any interactions right now but that is a-okay because you are living a life doing the real life hero work. Truly I’m amazed by you, and I think we’re all lucky you’re around. I hope you take care of yourself and that you do get to enjoy that time to just write and love your characters. They’re all truly fantastic and I love seeing where you take them. Especially Georgette. I think her journey has absolutely captivated me.

Kit:

man you are awesome to plot with. The pirate au was such a good time, just brainstorming some ridiculous ideas. And your ladies are so truly dynamic and powerful and I am so excited to see where you take them. I don’t think we really have had much interaction besides the au, but I look forward to a day where life is less stressful and we can do some more stuff. That’d be great. <3 Keep doing you, you’re killing it.

Lauren:

Man I love your characters so much. Greg is such an icon on the board and otherwise. And I love pushing your characters buttons almost as much as I love agreeing with them. They’re just such joys to have around. Lol well I’m sure Roscoe would argue about that and be all Roscoe, but I’m glad to have him around. It’s been great talking to you and having debates over milk being a capitalist scam. I am glad you’re in the rp, and I continue to look forward to seeing what new things you and your characters bring.

Lauryl:

This go around of me rejoining the rp I feel like we’ve gotten a lot closer and that makes me really happy. =] It all started with a Jimin, how did it end up like this? It was only a...just kidding. I know exactly why. Nemo and your brilliant writing and his connecting with Louie drew me into this BTS zone and then before I knew it there was Finn and Lunch Squad and and and. The list really does go on because we’ve just come up with some really ridiculous and fun stories and it’s been great. Thank you for bringing Olaf and teaching me a lot more about aromanticism, for Atta and that sister bond that I am stoked about (reminds me we gotta do another thing for them that yes). I’m so glad we’ve connected more and that you are in the rp <3

Louie: Neeeeeeeeeeemo I have a crisis of boy things! CRISIS. WEE OO WEE OO chop chop and help me out. Also I’ve got cookies.

Finn: Nemo, I can’t believe how close we’ve gotten in so short a time. You’re one of my very best friends. I love you lots.

Finn: Hyung, you’re so warm and kind. I’m so lucky I know you.

Dot: did you drink water today Atta? You better not be going anywhere crazy without ME.

Lins:

You’ve just joined but I’m so stoked we’re already talking and talking about TORTALL of all things. Like WOW! I didn’t think anyone out there appreciated those books the way I did. It is so nice to be wrong, and to have a source to discuss my fave childhood books. It’s also exciting to have Eilonwy, and I’m excited to interact with her. <3 

Sav:

I know life keeps you pretty busy, but you push through and you bring your babes and keep steady with all of that and I think that’s really admirable. You’ve got the older gentleman muse energy and I respect that. I think it’s great that you have your niche. I myself have the teens as we know. I’m sorry we haven’t had much chance to interact, but I hope to improve that in the future. Especially with Seamus. That’s my rich uncle. I wanna do something about that when life gets less hectic. Either way, you’ve got great babes and you’re doing a great job. Take care of yourself lovely.

Louie: soooooo gonna buy me a motorcycle Uncle Seamus?

Sid:

man you’ve got a great bunch of characters and they’re all so different and dynamic and I love that. Ratigan is complex, and he was especially good fun in the pirate event I have to say. Truly loved the take we had on the ship and everything. He’s so great. I also love seeing Eric on the dash, and am excited to interact more with him cause I think he’s just groovy. They’re all groovy. I can’t think of any whimsical things to say but you’re doing awesome and your babes are great. Take care lovely.

Sierra:

I have not had a chance to interact with you or your Tod yet, but I look forward to the day where I can. Tod’s a great character, and it’s exciting to see that he’s come back. I know I saw him connecting with some of the other Swynlakers and I think that’s even better. Love a character with history, and Tod definitely has that. I hope you take care of yourself, and I’m looking forward to seeing more of Tod in the future.

[thewritewolf]

Four Times (and the Lucky One) Chapter 3: Setback

Attempt #3 - Is a torn sweater and a classic dinner/movies Adrien's key to success?

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

And so we arrive at the recreation of the scene that inspired this entire fic - this one, by @sweetsweetsweetie, in case you missed it the first time - as well as the midpoint of this short story. 

Enjoy!

Read on Ao3

Adrien sat at his desk, resting his head on his arms as he waited for class to begin. The chill of winter had set in and he was almost grateful for it since that meant that his face was pressed up against the warm softness of his sweater. It was becoming thin in places from how much he had been wearing and washing it lately. He could sympathise - with all these late fall photoshoots and various other activities his father had crammed into his schedule, he was feeling pretty threadbare too.

Marinette passed by and he flashed her a warm smile as she made her way to her seat. She even paused in her conversation with Alya to tell him good morning. Taking her spot behind him, she continued talking. Since he had nothing else to occupy him, Adrien listened in while his eyes fluttered shut.

“Hey girl, isn't that charity thing you're in charge of coming up in a few weeks?"

"Yeah…” Marinette tapped at her desk. “I've got a lot of ideas but I need to start making a concrete plan so that I can submit a request for school funds. I'm going to come in early tomorrow morning to scope out the place and really start making decisions."

“Oh wow, you’ll probably be here before anyone else then, won’t you?”

Adrien’s eyes flew open. Despite the exhaustion he felt in his bones, that sounded a lot like an opportunity. Definitely one that he couldn’t pass up.

Marinette groaned. “Don’t remind me. Just thinking about waking up that early is making me feel tired.”

Their conversation was cut short when class started, but the gears were already turning in his head. This plan was destined for success!

---------------

Shambling through the deserted halls of the school, Marinette made her way towards her classroom. There was still plenty of time before she actually needed to be there, and she had nowhere better to be. Sure, she could technically go back home and slip into bed, but that would only buy her what? Twenty minutes? As strong willed a fully-awake Marinette COULD be, years of abused alarm clocks and delayed mornings reminded her that she'd end up being late today too. So to class it was.

Her plans were to get as comfortable as possible and fall asleep at her desk. Alya would definitely wake her up before class started. What she didn’t account for, however, was the classroom not being empty. Which might not have been that bad, if it weren’t for the fact that it was Adrien Agreste standing in the middle of the room looking pensively at a sweater sitting on a table.

A sweater which he must have just been wearing since the only thing covering his chest was a sleeveless undershirt. Marinette entered the room hesitantly.

“G-good morning, Adrien!” Nailed it. “What’s, um, what’s the matter?” Not perfect, but she’d take it.

“Oh!” He looked over at her and smiled, making her heart do a backflip. “Hello, Marinette. I’m just trying to figure out how what I’m going to do with my sweater.” He turned back to the piece of clothing in question and held it up. His hand poked through a large rip in the side. “The seam ripped and now I’m stuck here in the cold without it.”

“I could fix it for you!” She winced at how excited she sounded. Thankfully, he didn’t seem to mind. “Since, I, um, since I have a sewing kit on me most of the time.”

“Really? That’s great!” His eyes sparkled with joy and he offered the ruined sweater to her. “Would you please?”

“Of course! Just give me a few minutes…” She pulled out her miniature sewing kit and sat down at her desk to work. Adrien took Alya’s spot and watched her work.

“So what brings you in so early?”

In her surprise, she almost missed a stitch. “Oh, um, you remember that thing I was telling you just under a month ago?”

“Three weeks ago, actually.” She glanced over to him to see his chin resting on his hand. “That is, if you’re talking about the charity auction.”

“Y-yeah, that. So, ah, I needed to do some scouting for locations and talk to some teachers. Before I make any committees or anything.”

His eyebrows flew up. “Committees? This sounds a lot bigger than I thought it was.”

“Kinda? I, um, I tend to go… a little overboard. Sometimes. You know?”

“I get what you mean,” he smiled. “I can be a little… much sometimes too.”

She didn’t know what to say to that, but he seemed perfectly happy with companionable silence. After a few minutes of swift stitches, she’d fixed the sweater. She passed it back to him and smiled at how his face lit up. She watched him slip it over his head and giggled when his mop of perfectly styled hair popped out.

“Thanks, Marinette. You really helped me out here. Why don’t you let me make it up to you?”

“Oh no, you don’t have to-”

"I'm free this evening - for once - and I was wondering if you'd like to go out?"

For a moment, her soul left her body and she froze up. This couldn’t be happening. Adrien Agreste did not just ask her out. Then her mind processed what he’d said and she relaxed a little. He didn’t say on a date, he just said to hang out. Like friends.

"Oh! How about dinner and a movie?"

"That sounds great!"

She saw their friends through the glass. They’d gotten here a little early too, but not by much. People were going to start funneling into the school any minute now.

"Awesome! There's Alya and Nino, I'll go tell them!"

Clearly, he wanted to hang out with all his friends, right? They rarely all got to hang out together - surely he was itching for an opportunity to spend an evening having fun. He probably meant that he would pay for her fare when they go out as her reward for fixing his sweater. Yeah. That made sense.

"Yeah, and-wait. Marinette!"

Marinette was so happy that she’d get to spend time with Adrien, so focused on telling Alya and Nino the good news, that she didn’t even notice Adrien groan and bury his face in his hands as she left the room.

------------------

Adrien was on the verge of having a good time, which was to say he was having a very frustrating time.

He had spent the entire night like that - always so close to what he wanted while being so far away. At dinner, Marinette sat next to him, took a bite off his plate (at his insistence) to try what he had ordered. At the movies, he shared popcorn with the love of his life, saw her face illuminated by the light of the big screen. And yet it was NOT a date and she was painfully unaware of how adorable she was being. Like how her nose crinkled when he made a pun. Or how she gets excited over the good food. All the while Alya and Nino were practically all over each other, being exactly what he wanted to be with Marinette. He felt like his head was going to explode.

It was both a blessing and a curse when they stopped at Marinette’s house and Adrien stepped out to hold the door open for her. When he slid back into the car, he was surprised to see both Alya and Nino staring at him.

“Is… something wrong?” Adrien asked, looking cautiously between them. He was having trouble reading their expressions.

“So, are you going to tell us what tonight was all about, sunshine?” Alya watched him carefully and crossed her arms in front of her.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Today was… a fun hangout. Between friends.” As much as the words tasted like ashes in his mouth, that was exactly what the day had been.

“Dude…” Nino tugged on his hat and shook his head. “We’re not blind. There was some kinda something going on in the background. Marinette might have been too caught up in-” He was cut off by a glare from Alya. “Um, things… but we totally noticed. You looked supes frustrated most of the night. When you weren’t making goo goo eyes at M, at least.”

No. No way was he going to have this conversation. The first person to find out his feelings for Marinette was going to be Marinette. Not his prying, if well-meaning friends.

“Sorry, bro. I can’t say anything.” He put a hand on Nino and Alya’s shoulders. “But trust me, guys. WHEN something happens between me and Marinette, you’ll be the first to know.”

Alya’s eyes lit up and she leaned forward to interrogate him further, but Nino pulled her back.

“Sorry, babe. This is your stop. You’ll have to terrify my bro later.”

She glanced rapidly between Nino, Adrien, and the Gorilla, made a face as if she'd sucked on a lemon and sternly pointed at Adrien.

“You better treat her right, centerfold.”

Nino and Adrien rode in silence for a few minutes, Nino only breaking the quiet when they arrived at his home.

Hovering at the car door, he poked his head in and said, “I’m happy for you, bro. You’ll be good for each other, I can already tell.” He grinned and held out his fist. “Good luck, dude.”

Adrien returned his smile and bumped his fist against Nino’s. “Thanks, dude.”

-------------------

Back at home, Adrien collapsed onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. He wanted to bang his head against his desk in frustration. He had been so close!

Although today hadn’t gone as planned, it hadn’t been a bad time. If he had ever been uncertain about dating her before, he wasn’t now. Not when he saw first hand how amazing a date with her could be. No one could deny that he was getting closer to his goal, either. Maybe actual double dates wouldn’t be too far removed from his future after all? Then they could look back at this and laugh…

Plagg snickered. “I guess the casual approach didn’t work out too well for you, kid.”

“It worked alright,” Adrien said with a frown. “It could’ve worked better, though. My problem was that the date idea was too much like a normal hang out. I need to have a more concrete date in mind when I ask next. Something so romantic that she can’t possibly mistake it for just hanging out.”

“You know what would be even more effective? If you just-hey!” Plagg was cut off when a flying pillow slammed into him. Even from beneath the plush layers of fluff, Adrien could hear Plagg loudly cackling.

[but-tom]

Iron Man Dildo

Warning: Smut. But I don’t even get to the good stuff lol. Self indulgent. Don’t bother reading.

It all started out when MJ was browsing through Amazon because “American history is pointless when it’s passed down in the white people’s narrative.” Ned and Peter know not to argue (after learning it the hard way) and get promptly started on their group assignment.

“Parker, As you know, I’m not usually one to pry on other people’s sexual relations because yuck.” MJ deadpans. “But for product verification, how big is Iron Man?”

Ned chokes on his noodles.

Peter blinks, “Well his profile lists him as 6 foot,” He adds uselessly, “Not that I googled him...much.”

His curly haired friend throws him a wtf kind of expression in pure MJ fashion. And Peter immediately concludes he probably has said something dumb. Again.

“Dude I think she meant his penis size.” Ned has clearly recovered from his fit.

Peter sputters, “How - how would I know?” But his cheeks are already burning.

MJ tuts, “We already know you guys are together and if the hickeys you were sporting Monday say anything, you’re obviously the one to ask.”

“Hey! You told me you were bitten by mosquitoes.” Ned turns accusingly to his best friend.

MJ shakes her head in defeat. “Idiots. I’m surrounded by idiots.”

If it was possible, Peter was only turning redder. He never had secrets anymore from Ned and MJ. They were the first and only people in his life who knew about both his Spiderman identity and his relationship of six months with Tony. But talking about sex and stuff was just weird and awkward. It rarely ever had to come up in conversation when MJ hated 99% of the human population and Ned was married to his sets of Star Wars legos. “I really don’t want to talk about this. I don’t even know why you want to know this MJ. Can we go back to the paper please.”

“Don’t be such a prude Parker.” MJ quips. “It says life sized but it’s Amazon you can’t trust shit.” She then turns her laptop around to show Peter the screen.

“What - what is that?!”

Peter’s eyes are immediately drawn to the signature red and gold colours and the glowing arc reactor, but it’s definitely not in the form of the Iron Man suit he knows and loves.

“No way! An Iron Man dildo? That is freaking awesome. Wait does it shoot out stuff like the original suit?” Ned is way too excited about this for Peter to be comfortable.

“Wouldn’t that be a safety hazard?” And as always MJ is way too calm.

Peter slams the laptop close with a bit too much force as apparent in the indignant, “You dipshit!” from MJ. But he can’t help but feel the need to protect his boyfriend’s virtue. Although Tony himself would have grinned fondly at his young lover’s antics.

“Why would anyone sell this? Why would someone buy this? Do you think Tony knows about this?” Peter panics.

“If people are buying Avengers flavoured ice cream, which is false advertising by the way, and an Avengers waffle maker, why not a dildo that actually guarantees satisfaction.”

“Unlike an actual man.” Ned finishes for her. Ned and MJ share a fist bump.

Sometimes Peter hates his friends. “I hate you guys.”

“Even though I spent $80 on you? Plus $7 shipping fees? You ungrateful hoe,” MJ huffs, stealing back her laptop.

“YOU BOUGHT IT?!” Peter and Ned shriek.

“This is your Christmas present by the way.”

——————————————————————————————————

Peter stares down at the small package in front of him, conflicted. He had made a big fuss to MJ and Ned that afternoon about returning the godforsaken thing immediately. But now that he actually has it in his hands, Peter feels the familiar dread of curiosity and something else creep up on him. And Spiderman has never been one to win over his own curiosity. His boyfriend can begrudgingly attest to this.

With shaking hands he unwraps the package. He reveals the prize and it’s smaller than he expected. Slim. Definitely smaller. But it’s long and he can wrap both his fists along the length of it with room to spare. And Peter’s face heats up from the memory this gesture provokes.

He notices the package comes with a small container of lube. Considerate.

There’s no use pretending he’s not going to go through with it. It’s all he’s been thinking about the past three days, alone in his twin bed. On the last day he’d even reached the point of resenting MJ for not choosing express shipping.

It was pure coincidence that Tony was on a business trip for a conference in Dubai for a week. It was the first time since they’ve been together that Tony has been away for so long. And Tony has spoiled his boy, from make out sessions in the backseat of his Bentley to bending him over his desk at Stark Industries overlooking the view of Manhattan.

So Peter, between his teenage hormones and missing his boyfriend, is deprived. He can’t resist this opportunity in the form of a sleek, red and gold promise. He’s never had anything but Tony’s everything up his ass. And there’s nothing like an Iron Man dildo to add to the list.

Peter dips two fingers in the lube, and immediately it drips and soaks his pajamas. He curses softly and quickly undresses himself. When he’s in nothing but Tony’s too big Pink Floyd t-shirt, Peter finally slips one tentative finger in his hole. He’s never really gotten used to fingering himself. Tony had always taken all his sweet time to make sure his young lover was opened up and stretched for him. And Peter never had any complaints about that.

Panting as he adds a second finger, Peter is grateful for the excess amount of lube he’d added. He can hear Tony in his head. “Always so tight for me darling.”

He’s scissoring his fingers but they’re smaller than what he’s used to and just not enough. He clumsily reaches for the dildo and briefly he is comforted by it’s smaller girth because he’s definitely not prepped enough.

When the cool head of the dildo touches his rim, Peter shudders because the temperature is different. It’s also a shock to his dialed up senses. It only makes him want more so he forces himself to relax as he pushes the silicone in slowly. “Oh.”

And from then on, he’s a moaning mess on the bed because the solid head of the dildo is nudging perfectly against his prostate. When he finally has the mind to actually use the remote to turn it on, the vibrations rattle his insides. He shrieks, “No, no, no too much.” But his hands make no move towards the remote tossed carelessly on the bed, clutching at his sheets instead.

Peter can only imagine what he must look like on the bed. His curls sticking to his forehead, the tears leaking from the corner of his half hooded eyes, and lips swollen from his biting. In his pleasured daze, the boy wonders how Tony would react to this sight. Wearing his T-shirt and using Iron Man’s dildo up his ass to bring him to orgasm.

“Tony, oh my god. Tony, tony.” Peter’s sobbing now. He’s so close. His hands creep towards his cock because he knows he needs the touch to get himself there.

Then the vibrations stop.

Peter groans. Stupid Amazon -. But he doesn’t get to finish the thought because there’s a sudden weight on top of him and a hand on his cock that’s definitely not his own. “As much as I enjoyed the show, I don’t think I can just watch anymore.”

Against the solid weight of his boyfriend and the cool fabric of his silk suit against his bare skin, Peter gasps, “Tony!”

He was going to die of embarrassment. How much had he seen? When did he even get here? Why was here? But the thoughts flew out the window as the hand on his cock picked up pace. The calloused hands showed no mercy as a thumb brushed his tip to smear the precum around the head. It was completely unnecessary and absolutely delightful because he was leaking. There wasn’t a dry spot below his waist. “Tony, please. I can’t. Please.”

Tony ignores him. “You know.” He drawls. “I was up in my hotel room in Dubai after a three hour conference, wanting to Face Time my beautiful boyfriend. But when he doesn’t answer after three calls, I get worried and naturally I ask FRIDAY to contact Karen to activate surveillance in your room.” For the first time today Tony meets Peter’s eyes. His eyes are dark and heated. But he continues nonchalantly. “Installed for your safety of course. But this is the last thing I expected to see.”

Peter’s breath hitches. He’s not even mad,  if only in the sense he needs to come right now or else.

Tony is closer now, lips to his ears, he whispers lowly. “I flew almost 11,000 kilometres because I couldn’t help but be jealous. But only after I watched the full footage of course.”

Peter tugs the collar of Tony’s freshly pressed dress shirt and meets his lips in a hungry kiss. It’s teeth and too much tongue. But Tony meets his fire with his own. More, more, he needs more. The dildo is still pressed to his prostate and he was so, so close to coming. He feels half mad with desire.

Tony’s large hands skim the sensitive parts of his body, making a clear path to his ass. Peter moans into his mouth when he finally cups his ass with both hands. He is thrumming with anticipation as one of Tony’s hands wander down to touch the end of the dildo still in his ass. But Tony is a tease and he pulls back, grinning. “So an Iron Man dildo? Once a fan, always a fan.”

Peter makes a sound in protest and retaliates. “Well they were out of Captain America products.”

He squeaks when Tony suddenly pushes the dildo in his ass even deeper. It doesn’t hurt but it’s too much. “You’re going to pay for that.” Tony’s eyes narrow but it’s the promising heat behind them that makes Peter whimper.

“Promise daddy?”

[long-bodyswap]

Oh brother

(don’t have the credits)

Chapter 1“Did you see that play?!” Macky asked me as he lovingly hugged me in his arms and lifted me into the air after scoring the winning touchdown.  He was being borderline too affectionate, and I had to hiss at him to let me down when he instinctively tried to kiss me.   “Bro!  We’re in public!  Put me down so we can take pictures.  You’ll get your reward later!” I hiss playfully into his ear.   He begrudgingly puts me down as we pose for some photos together.   “Hey Andy.” “Yeah, Bro?” I answer. “You’re the best little brother ever.  I just wanted you to know that.  I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, but I know what’s gonna be getting into you when we get back to the house.” “You’re the best big brother ever.  I love you, and I’m so happy to give you your victory fuck.” He gives my ass a playful squeeze, risking getting seen in public.  The element of danger makes it so hot.  Fuck yeah, I can’t wait to get back to the house.  You know, Macky sure is right- I’m the best little brother ever…or I would be if I actually was his little brother.   3 days agoSo my name is Shane and I’m just your typical gay guy who’s hopelessly in love with the high school quarterback.  I’ve never even flirted with him, but maybe I’ve had one too many lingering glances at him because Macky seems to have sniffed out my adoration.  And the worst part is for as much as he gives me hell, I don’t stop feeling this way.  I just have an instinct that he’s secretly gay, but just can’t admit it.  Either not now or not to me (the only openly gay guy in our high school) because physically I’m just not in line with his desires.  I mean after all, he’s a toned, strong, football jock and I’m an overly thin, bony, computer nerd.  I try to keep the extent of my research a secret because the nerd shit is just another bullet that Macky uses against me.  Unknown to him though, and the entire world, I may have invented something that could give me the chance to finally get close enough to him to see what he’s really like.  The running name for the prototype is Project Transfero, short for the Latin phrase, Transfero Transtuli Translatum, meaning “to transfer.”  Hey, I didn’t say poetic prototype names were my specialty.  But anyway, this device I have built will allow me to transfer my consciousness into another human being and dominate their body and mind.  If my calculations are correct, I will have access to their memories and abilities in an intuitive manner whilst still maintaining all of my essence.  I will upload my old, empty body with a basic artificial intelligence program I designed that mimics my most recognizable behaviors.  To friends and family I will appear to be completely normal, though I have severely hampered the AI’s intellect so as to avoid any technological conflicts in the future or a scary Terminator doomsday scenario.  I also have a secondary program that will surely come in handy.  But I digress… Earlier today I was thrilled beyond belief when opportunity came directly to my locker.   “Hey.  So word’s gone around you got a perfect score on the SAT.  Andy is taking the PSAT next week and I was wondering if you could help him out.  The kid’s pretty bright, but I bet a little bit of your influence and he’d be a National Merit Scholar.  I already talked to him, and he’s cool with this even though I have some concerns…” “Not a problem, Macky.  Tell him to come over at 8pm.” “Look, I appreciate your help.  I really am grateful, but…no funny business if you know what I mean…” “We’re crystal clear, Macky.  We’re just turning your bro into a national merit scholar, that’s it.” He awkwardly thanks me again before walking off to rejoin his football bros.   “Shit, that was the scariest/best moment of the week.” I speak to myself aloud.  Project Transfero is officially in motion.  “Oh we’re gonna make Andy a National Merit Scholar alright.  I’m pretty sure Andy’s gonna rocking out from now on…”As agreed, Macky’s little brother arrived at 8 pm on the dot.  He seemed exactly like a mini version of his older brother, just maybe 2 years and a growth spurt behind.  I could still instantly see a fine and sexy young man in the making.  Andy…I’ve always loved that name; it just rolls off the tongue nicely.  I invite him inside and to my relief he is a much gentler and sweeter soul than his brother.   “I want to thank you for helping me, and sorry about my bro.  He’s just over protective because our dad walked out on the family when we were young.  The guy’s only two years older than me, but he has always felt like he had to step up and take over the father role.” “That must have been tough,” I try to say nicely and thoughtfully as I hide my grin.  “Say, can I get you a drink before we start?” “Oh a sprite would be awesome man!  Thanks.” “Oh, not a problem at all,” I reply as I run to the kitchen, pour two glasses, and top his off with a clear and tasteless fluid.  Andy gulps his whole drink down right away, and I struggle to contain the excitement building up inside me as he begins losing consciousness.  His dose was sufficient that he doesn’t even process the likelihood of a spiked drink.  There is no struggle.  Instead he just says he needs a nap and plummets into a deep sleep.  Fuck.  Yeah. “ungggg…what the?  Where am I?” Andy asks groggily. Finding himself strapped to a table, he begins pulling at his restraints, soon realizing they are unbreakable.  “Dude What the fuck?!  What is this shit?!  HELP!  SOMEONE PLEASE HELP!” “Andy, I wouldn’t waste your energy.  You’ll need it if you want to put up a good fight,” I say as I finish up the final touches on the software settings.  “I hope you know this isn’t personal.” “OH MY GOD!  Are you gonna kill me?!  Is this because of Macky?  I promise he’ll be nicer to you!  Just please let me go!” “I have every intention of letting you go…once we’re done here.  Say, have you ever heard of that old saying ‘Always want what you can’t have?’” Andy doesn’t respond.  He just grits his teeth as he ferociously struggles to pull out of his straps.   “Andy, don’t worry.  This will all be over soon,” I let him know with a soothing tone as I try to place the helmet contraption on his thrashing head. “No Dude!  Get that thing away!” Andy can see that the helmet device is connected to my computer terminal.  He probably thinks I’ve built some sort of electric chair.  I like a little bit of struggle, but this is just ridiculous.  I go and grab a little solution that I concocted a while back.  It’s basically a fluid that can be sprayed like an air freshener, but breathing it causes temporary relaxation of both body and mind.  I put on a respirator, spray the thrashing Andy, and wait for the fumes to dissipate before safely removing my mask.   “Fuck man!  WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!   You won’t get away with this.  You can’t-not gonna win-son of a –piece of shit-kick your-just wait til Macky hears-stop….” And Andy’s pupils suddenly widen as he stops tugging against his bindings and just lays like a good boy on the table, breathing deeply and slowly.  “What are you going to do to me?” He asks, completely tranquil and struggling to focus on the severity of the situation.   “Just focus on how good you feel right now.  Okay, Andy?” I say as I step up onto the adjacent table and begin fitting my own helmet.   “Wait, why do you have a helmet?” Andy asks softly.   I just finished fitting the device to myself and that’s when I insert my mind-clone AI chip into the secondary input slot so it can be downloaded and run my body after my consciousness is done transferring.  “Sometimes people do crazy things for love, maybe even unethical things,” I say before clicking the launch button.   3… “Please, Shane…” 2… “What are you…” 1… “Stop…” BOOM! My head feels like a swirling hurricane as I feel myself losing my gained knowledge.  Algorithms, code, chemistry, biology, all of that is leaching out of my mind as it is ruthlessly downloaded into Andy’s brain.  I try to remain calm, but Andy is feeling overwhelmed by the sheer rush of knowledge.  In spite of the relaxant, his adrenaline is reviving his panic as he howls out and yanks on his restraints again. “NO PLEASE!  It’s too much!  I CAN’T!” he yells as he tries in vain to shake the helmet off. I continue to feel my mind hollowing out as my preferences and personality traits begin transferring into Andy, leaving me numb, but having a different effect on Andy… With all of my knowledge and research he has realized what I have built and what is happening.  He begins crying as he realizes that in a matter of minutes he will be completely possessed by me, but as my preferences and personality are downloaded into him he stops struggling and notices his cute and toned body all sweaty from his struggle.  He knows he’s supposed to like girls; deep inside he’s always been compassionate to gays, but also 100% straight.  None of that matters though as he gives in to new desires to touch himself and appreciate his body from a whole new point of view.  He begins groaning as he desires to rub his lean abs and cup his balls while pumping that well-endowed cock just so he can taste his own man juices as they shoot out of his cock like water out of a super soaker-he whines and curses his restraints as he tries in vain to touch himself.  Andy reaches new heights of arousal as all of my vivid sexual fantasies about possession, mind control, etc. enter and reprogram him.  This formerly struggling cutie is now thrusting his hips into the air, helplessly thinking about cute boys, gay sex, the rush of possession and being reprogramed by my essence…even the thought of getting his brother’s cock up his virgin ass.   “Oh Fuck yeah!” he shouts between pants as he keeps grinding his hips into the air.  “Yeah!  Fill me up!  Take me over!  Make me better!  Use my sexy boy body to get the best dick in town!  Oh YEAH!  You’re gonna get my cherry popped by Macky’s juicy cock!  You’re gonna use my cute bubble butt to milk his juices out of his cock!” Andy is shivering in pleasure and ecstasy, overwhelmed by the constant flow of data.  Finally, I black out as the final phase initiates and my consciousness begins transferring.   Andy is howling in delight as his back arches and he knows what’s coming.  My consciousness is downloaded into his brain as his central nervous system adapts to a new resident.  Andy moans out in ecstasy as the computer screen flashes to green, TRANSFER SEQUENCE COMPLETE.  But at the last minute he has a moment of clarity as I begin unlocking Andy’s memories and personality, ensuring that they will be available to me.   “Wait-this isn’t right.  This is wrong!  WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO ME?!  GET OUT OF ME!  PLEASE MAN!!!!  YOU GOTTA GET OUT OF ME!  DON’T DO THIS!  YOU CAN’T- UNNNGGGGGGG!!!!”  He screams loudly as the pressure in his balls builds and he knows he can’t control what’s coming.  His toes are curling and his fists are balled tightly as he strains in a last act of futile resistance.  The moment right before he blows his load, my vision comes into clear focus, seeing through Andy’s eyes and hearing his hollers of pleasure leaving my mouth as I have my first orgasm in his fit body.  “OH FUCKKKKKKKK UMMMMMMMYEAH!” I shout as I writhe helplessly as my new cock pours a sea of hot cum into these gym shorts.  Fuck!  This dick didn’t even get touched a single time!  Oh My God! I’m laughing in joyous laughter, feeling my hips thrust with every spurt of warm cum and shouting out every time I feel Andy’s dick seize up.  Oh I want nothing more than to reach down and taste my new juices, but my restraints are frustratingly effective.  Right as I relax my arched back and begin riding this wave of orgasmic afterglow, I see my old body open its eyes and undo the straps on the helmet.  Perfect.   “Hello, Master.  Everything has gone according to plan,” My old body says in a monotonous tone. “Well, this was unplanned,” I say pointing at my cum soaked crotch, “But I’m not complaining.  Anyway, do you understand your programing?  It’s time to act like Shane.  I didn’t mind clone myself for nothing.  And call me Andy.” My old body’s face remains blank for a second or two before finally his facial expression perks up and his vocal tone matches my own.   “Hey Sorry about that Andy.  I’m ready to fill in and put on a good show for everyone.  So anyway, what can I help you with?” the new Shane asks with convincing humanity.   “Well, for starters you could unbind me.  And get me a clean pair of shorts.” I say with a giggle and a wink. I make the short walk back to Andy’s house after getting cleaned up- decided to save my full body examination for Andy’s personal bathroom.  It really is crazy- I have all of myself intact, but I have all of Andy’s knowledge and memories available to me.  I can literally see the layout of his house flashing through my mind.  I’m upstairs, last room at the end of the hall to the left, far enough away that nobody will hear some light moaning.  I know that because I can remember Andy locking his door and beating off this already thick and long cock to internet porn.  Lots of tits and pussies filling his browser history.  Better get used to dicks and ass, buddy! I walk in the side door of my new house and Macky hollers from the kitchen: “How was it?” “It was great!  Learned a shit ton.  That PSAT is toast.” “No funny business right?  I don’t wanna have to have a long, painful chat with Shane.  And- wait what are you wearing?” “Bro?  haha shorts and a tee.  Dude, you should go get your eyes checked.” “Nah man, you wore your favorite shorts tonight.  The red ones that you’ve won so many 5k’s in.  Did  Shane-“ “Don’t worry!  I just spilled a sprite all over myself.  It was my bad, and Shane was nice enough to lend me some spare boxers and shorts.  The guy’s even washing my soiled clothes.  You’re really too hard on the guy sometimes,” I say convincingly as I run up the stairs and crash into Andy’s room, practically a tornado of motion as I try to rip these clothes off so I can worship this fit body.  Fuck, being that close to Macky without him being all homophobic is making me so damn hard.  Right as I slip out of these boxers and find myself nude on Andy’s bed I peer over at the clock and see it’s midnight, meaning it’s officially the first day of the rest of my life.  God, how can I be this hard after that load I blew earlier?!  Gotta take care of that right now! Chapter 1.5We’re done with all the pictures and I’m riding shotgun with Macky, who is still elated after scoring the winning touchdown.  Normally he’d shower with the rest of the team, but he practically carried me to the car, bent on getting home ASAP.   “Are you sure you don’t wanna shower with your bros and celebrate your win?” I ask him as we cruise along the road to our home.   “You’re the only bro that matters and we’ll be celebrating, alright,” he says with a wink that makes me blush.  I’ve been in Andy’s body for 3 days now, and I’m already realizing this was the best decision I’ve ever made.  I flash my now older brother a devilish smile before I reach a toned arm over and grab his thick man meat, massaging it with my soft hands and enjoying the feeling of it growing in my grip. “ohhhhhhhhhh fuck….Andy that feels so good.  Wait, we should-“ “Start celebrating right now” I interrupt as I lean over at the redlight and grab his face, forcing my tongue into his mouth and enjoying this passionate kiss as he explores my mouth also.  “I know you’re good for more than one round of celebration” I tease him as I slide my hand into his football pants and grab his rod and begin stroking him.  I know he can’t wait any longer when he’s moaning like a bitch in heat as he thrusts into my grip on his cock.   “Oh fuck bro!   GOD YEAH MAN THAT FEELS SO GOOD!” Macky shouts as I begin sliding his 8 inches into my mouth and down my perfectly relaxed throat.  He surprises me when he involuntarily thrusts the last 2 inches into me, immediately bringing my lips down to the base of his cock, forcing me to take in the sweaty man odor of his trimmed bush.  I breathe it in gladly as I get ready for one hell of a car ride home.  He grabs at the T-shirt I changed into, letting me know how much my mouth pleases him.  2 Days AgoThe clock just hit midnight which means this is the first day of the rest of my life.  Fuck, I’ve gone from the bony computer nerd to the toned and future jock star little brother of Macky, the formerly unattainable subject of my affection.  But laying here in Andy’s bed, having just implanted my knowledge, personality, and consciousness into his brain, fully possessing him, I feel like anything is possible.  Anything except for these damn socks.  Fuck, I’m trying to kick em off without reaching down to use my hands, but these little suckers just aren’t cooperating.  I smile having a memory flash into my head of Andy having the same struggle until finally- shoop- I get that sucker off and kick it off the side of the bed.  God damn, finally, I’m completely naked laying on Andy’s bed.  With a chance to take it all in I take a minute to close my eyes and just enjoy the feeling of Andy’s soft sheets on his golden skin.  Getting curious, I swing my feet off the bed and walk over to Andy’s bathroom and stand before the full length body mirror.   Right before I can dive into my exploration, Andy’s or I mean my, phone vibrates so I walk over to the bed where I left the phone and see a text of a screenshot snap from a friend.   Oh how fucking ironic.  I chuckle and roll my eyes playfully before returning to the bathroom and looking straight into Andy’s eyes.  I really love his prominent eyebrows, so I work on using them to make all sorts of ridiculous expressions, making him look concerned, Sherlock Holmes inquisitive, angry, sassy, and everything in between.   “God, puberty is a beautiful thing,” I say aloud, enjoying my new voice and seeing a flash of what Andy looked like not too long ago in the form of a memory with his older sister.   Oh yeah, thank God for puberty.  I laugh some more, enjoying Andy’s not fully developed voice.  It’s not fully developed yet, but it has an indisputable masculine quality that still retains just a shred of boyish charm.   I look back into the mirror and taunt Andy a bit. “You didn’t put up much of a fight, eh?  I’m thinking you wanted me in here all along.  Yeah?  That your kink?  You always wanted someone else inside you, using your body to do this?” I say as I begin lightly caressing his face, using Andy’s mouth to seductively suck on one of his fingers.   “Oh you’re just a little whore inside aren’t you?  Yeah, little player, huh?  Bet you never thought you’d be doing this I bet. Unnggggg dammmnnn yeah” I moan as I clamp my eyes shut and toss my head back, enjoying the feeling of Andy’s sensitive nipples being stroked by his soft fingertips.  Oh yeah I start circling them, already feeling my breathing pick up, but then my whole body twitches a bit as I grab one of those perky nipples and give it a good pinch.  “Oh fuck!” I hiss as I feel Andy’s dick twitch.  I use my left hand to go back and forth between both nipples, pinching and twisting and pulling enough to send sparks through my central nervous system, occasionally just grabbing the whole pec and rubbing the developing mound of lean muscle.  My right hand does a full survey of Andy’s left arm, feeling every toned ridge of his lean triceps down to his strong forearms from doing lax and football, just like Macky.  Soon I’m running a hand along Andy’s chiseled abs, enjoying the way they feel as I run my hand along them while taking deep breaths. “Mmmmmm yeah, you little punk.  These are mine now.  This body is mine now.  Thanks for being so athletic you little twink.  I can’t wait to see what your abs look like when you’ve got a thick cock cumming in your hole.  You’re gonna be using all the strength in your body to clamp that dick where it belongs- balls deep inside you.  Oh fuck yeah!” I taunt as I spit on the mirror and enjoy watching Andy lick up his own saliva off the mirror.  I’m getting so hard so fast now!  In seconds, Andy’s dick is standing at 7 full inches and nice thickness.   “This is mine now!” I shout as I grab that man meat and stare Andy’s reflection in the eye again.   “This is my cock and I’m gonna use it whenever I want and however I want!  Yeah, you little whore.  You just love it when I stroke you like THIS!  Oh MOTHERFUCK!  YEAH MAN!  You’re dick is great! Unnnnnggggg Yeah!” I yell as I thrust into this skilled grip.  Holy crap, I’m still using the left hand to tweak these sensitive nipples and it feels even better now that I’m jerking Andy’s cock like this!  I rub that hand over these abs which are popping like crazy now that my hips are thrusting like this.  Mmmmm yeah, Andy’s lean, but strong thighs look so nice right now.  And I fucking love his legs.  Those calves are perfect.  Strong, but lean and toned, just like the rest of his body, but he’s got a nice coat of dirty blonde hair trailing up his legs and up his thighs, getting lighter and lighter until it barely meets Andy’s trimmed bush.   Fuck!  I’m getting close!  I leave the bathroom and hop onto the bed, dick pointed straight up as I grab Andy’s cock again and begin thrusting desperately into my grip, grabbing at the sheets with the other hand and curling my toes as I scrunch my face up in one orgasmic expression of pleasure as I pump the holy fucking shit out of Andy’s cock.   “Ohhhhhh FUCK you feel so good Andy!  I fucking love your body!  GOD DAMN MAN Wooooooo” I gasp as I thrash my head around on his bed, hyperventilating and finally feeling his balls tighten.  Damn this feels so much better than that first orgasm.  I quickly grab Andy’s balls with my left hand and begin massaging them right as my back arches, throwing me into the air, as every muscle seems to contract at once and the first shot of cum flies and lands perfectly in my gasping mouth!  I quickly swallow Andy’s delicious cum and try to scream, but no sound exits my gaping mouth!  I just writhe and squirm, trying to comprehend how good this feels as shot after shot of hot cum coats my lean chest and abs.  I finally let go of Andy’s dick and just stare in amazement as this dick just keeps launching cum.  Right as Andy’s cock finally stops this insane orgasm I black out from the pleasure, overwhelmed by my first ride in Andy’s sexy body.  I wake up just a few minutes later, happy that the cum is still warm from being on my burning hot torso.  Shit, I’m still breathing like I just won a 5k and I’m sweating like a pig.   “That was awesome” I coo as I scoop Andy’s cum into his hand and ruthlessly devour it, sparing no drop.  “Andy, even your cum tastes so fucking good.  God you’re such a perfect little stud.” I say aloud as I lay in bed and think.After enjoying my afterglow I decide to shower and resume the primary goal- to pursue Macky now that I’m inside his hot younger brother.   Chapter 2“OH FUCKKKKKKK!!!!” Macky shouts as he dumps endless rivers of cum down my throat.  I hungrily eat every last drop, making sure that whatever didn’t get dumped directly down Andy’s throat is immediately consumed.  Macky is shivering with pleasure and giddy joy and I actually have to grab the stearing wheel because he doesn’t see that truck that just slowed down.  “Holy Shit Balls that was close dude!” Macky shouts, breaking out of his euphoria.  We both laugh together and he just says, “We’ll have to practice the road head more. I’ve gotta work on my focus,” he tells me with a wink as he reaches his hand and grabs my firm rod through the silky fabric of these shorts, firmly gripping and massaging the rock hard mound trapped in this compression underwear.  He keeps rubbing me until a wet spot forms on my compressions, a nice healthy flow of Andy’s precum as well as my squirming body and attempts to keep my moaning under control let Macky know how much I want him, how much his loving brother, Andy, is turned on by him.  When he slips his hand into these compression shorts and wraps his strong fingers around Andy’s marble hard cock, he knows this cock is hard because I want his body and his dick cumming inside me as our sweaty bodies are grinding all over one another.   He looks at me intently, squeezing, massaging, stroking, jacking my cock as I flash him a smile, gasping for breath and ask him, “Are we there yet?”“Bro, you better be a good boy.  You ask me that again and I’ll pull this car over right now and we’ll start on the side of the road,” Macky says with wickedly cute mischief.   I just lay back and relax, moaning in appreciation as Macky expertly pumps my cock, bringing me closer and closer to shooting a load all over his new car.  Fuck, that would be hot!  Then we can both lick it off together.  Mmmmmm God, I love Macky, but I love possessing his little bro, Andy, even more!2 Days Ago… After that amazing orgasm in Andy’s body, I decide to shower and explore some more, enjoying the feeling of the hot water rolling off of Andy’s skin.  After drying off and doing some sexy faces at my reflection I decide to get dressed.  Hmmmm a memory flashes into my head of Andy and his two siblings.  I guess the guy has a safe sense of style. I’ll start introducing my affinity for bright colors and neon into his life eventually, but not this week.  I just want to blend in and get some one on one time with Macky.  Luckily, big sis is already in college, so I don’t have to worry about her ruining my fun.  For now, I remember that Andy and Macky had been planning on going to a game today- the memory of getting the tickets a few months back flashed clearly in my mind.It’s really too bad that my new parent, Andy’s stepdad, couldn’t end up going with us on the big day, but that’ll just give me more one on one time with Macky.  Mmmmmmm yeah, some one on one time is exactly what I need to set this plan in motion.  I go back to Andy’s bathroom and expertly navigate his cabinets and drawers, finding the randomly scattered things like toothpaste, deodorant, some hair product, etc. Before I start, I take a whiff of Andy’s underarms.  Mmmmmm such a delicious boy odor.  I take another sniff and then I just all out huff in as much of Andy as I can, eventually licking these pits clean, tasting Andy’s funkiness with his own mouth.  I need more!  I grab a pair of Andy’s dirty underwear from a run and hold it against my face, sniffing in the musk and getting hard in the process.  I look directly in the mirror as I continue breathing in Andy’s scent, eventually moaning in satisfaction as I rub the filthy underwear all over my body. Mmmmmmfuck- I manage to stop myself before I get fully hard.  Better wait til later!  I just have to resist temptation and finish getting ready, so I pop the deodorant cap and do a teenwolf style play bite at my reflection.  I feel so powerful and sexy as I do something as simple as roll deodorant on Andy’s underarms.  “Yeah, you can’t even do this for yourself.  You need someone like me inside you to do it for you!” I playfully lash out at the mirror.  I grab some of Andy’s underarm hair and try to mentally measure those coarse dirty blonde waves.  “Not a boy, but not yet a man.  Oh you needed me inside you to make you a man,” I laugh some more at my taunts.  Mmmmm even something as ridiculous as putting Andy’s deodorant on can feel so empowering.  I bet this’ll never get old!  Still elated from doing Andy’s morning routine, I quickly do a mental survey of his bathroom and realize I was going to be bringing about some positive changes.  “Really, man? No facial cleanser?  I mean, overall you’ve been blessed with good skin, Andy, but we’re gonna do every little thing we can to keep you perfect.  I’m gonna get a good moisturizer to use on your face because I plan on preserving your boyishly cute good looks for as long as I possibly can.  And I’m digging your robust eyebrows, but I’m gonna get a good pair of tweezers to make sure they’re kept neat and clean looking.  Several memories flash through my head of Andy complaining about all this shit I’ve mentioned being too girly.  My new mom had the right idea, trying to get Andy on board with skin care, but to his core he always resisted, insisting it’s not what guys do.  “Well, Andy, it’s what YOU do now!” I exclaim as I smirk at his reflection, sensually licking one of his fingers and sucking on it, adding more and more fingers until my mouth is full enough to practice for Macky’s thick cock.  I know it’s thick because Andy has several memories of seeing that beast, not up close, but in various locker room and quick clothes changing scenarios.  Ohhhh but now that I’m inside Andy, he’s gonna be getting really up close and personal with some brotherly dick!“Andy!  Hurry up!  We have to leave now or parking’s gonna be a nightmare!” Macky hollers from downstairs.  Shit, I’ll have to scheme later.  Time to be a good brother I think as I grab some clothes and run downstairs. Thank God it’s Saturday!  Nothing like spending some quality time with MY older brother.   As I walk outside I realize Macky and I are almost matching.  We’re both decked out in Navy Blue with our Georgetown hats and ready to enjoy a good game.  Mmmmm Macky is looking extra on point today.  Just from watching him I can see I have a lot to look forward to growing up in Andy’s body.   We hop in Macky’s car and the drive is kind of quiet and awkward, so I decide to do some probing.  “So have you heard back from that Shane guy?” I ask, trying to stir the melting pot of repressed frustration.“I don’t want you to get help from him anymore.”“But, why?  He was super helpful, and really nice to me.”“I just don’t trust the guy.  I mean you know about him right?”“It sounds like you don’t trust yourself,” I blurt out.  “And what is that supposed to mean?” Macky asks a little shaken and caught off guard.  Andy’s memories flash through my head as I respond.“Bro, you hardly ever hang out with your girlfriend.  I never even see you guys texting or messaging or anything.  I’ve seen you around some of your buds, and when you bring your guy friends over you get really touchy.  There was one time where I borrowed your laptop and a porn site was still on your browser, but there wasn’t any pussy or tits…” I say with fake concern in my tone.  Wow, Andy really repressed a lot of dirt on his big bro.  I’m honestly so frustrated as I sift through Andy’s memories and see that he basically dumped all this incriminating evidence in the Just a Fluke/Better Not Bring It Up part of his mind. Jesus.“Andy….I…Uhhhh…I just clicked the wrong link. I-““Hey.  Bro,” I say looking him dead on, “I want you to feel comfortable telling me anything.  You’ve been such a good big brother all these years.  It’s about time I repay the favor.”“Andy, it’s not like that.”“You know I’m here for you.”“Bro!  Just chill.  It’s not like that.  Okay.  Thank you for extending open arms and all, but I’m not gay.  That’s just wrong.  And I don’t hate gays, I just don’t want that guy Shane to get any ideas in your head.” Oh that guy Shane got wayyyyyy more than a few ideas in Andy’s head I think to myself with mischievous satisfaction.  I decide to let up on my probing, feeling all the more convinced that Macky is a melting pot of repressed homosexual desire.  As I doze off for the rest of the car ride I make sure to spread Andy’s legs so my crotch is in plain view.  I don’t even need to open my eyes to know that Macky is sneaking glances. It would be pointless to fight the grin emerging on my face, as I twist Andy’s face into one of satisfaction, so I just ride with it.  Maybe deep down Macky’s hoping I’m having a fun dream about him.  Once we arrive and get the car parked we immediately run into one of Macky’s best buds, Ben, who takes a pic of Macky and me.  You can see what I meant earlier when I said we were accidentally matching.  And I’ll be God damned if I’ve ever seen two bros who looked more all-American and adorable.  The game is pretty boring, even for the part of Andy’s mind I have at my disposal, so I kind of zone out, cheering when Macky does and just going through the motions.  But then I see how I can spice up my afternoon. I’m going to test the limits of Andy’s cuteness, so I start making lingering eye contact with Ben, enjoying his nervous fidgeting and blushing cheeks.  My sick perversion of Andy’s usually cool and “bro” self continues as I look directly into Ben’s eyes and slowly bring my hotdog to my mouth and lightly lick the end of the meat before opening wide and slowly shoving in as much weiner as I can in a single bite.  I even close my eyes and lean my head back slightly, making Andy look like a cock hungry gay boy for the whole world to see.  Luckily, Macky is actually trying to follow the game intently, so he doesn’t see me using Andy’s mouth to put on a show, or the tenting emerging in Ben’s pants. He gasps, unable to control his urges as he picks up his phone and begins frantically typing.  Just a few seconds later I feel Andy’s phone vibrate and open it to find an old selfie and a message from Ben.   LET’S FUCK!  BATHROOM!  PLEASE!I suck in a deep breath from shock and quickly look at him and shake my head no.  I lie and write to him: I’m seeing someone.   I don’t consider this a lie because I plan on making Macky mine…all in good time.  For now though it’s just me, Macky, Ben, and a new message with an irritated frowny face and the word TEASE!  You better not tell anyone or I’ll fuck up your world! I just smirk at him with Andy’s cute face and message him back: Don’t forget who has the leverage here.   At the same time I raise Andy’s phone and show him the photo and dirty message he sent.  It was like Check and mate.  I do let him know though if things don’t work out he’ll be the first guy I call.  This seems to brighten his mood, but deep down I know there’s nothing worse than false hope.  Mehh…what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. We get back that Saturday night to an empty house- Just Macky and me for the rest of the weekend since the folks are off on some Napa Valley excursion.  It’s pretty late now, and Macky seems pretty tired so he retires to his room.  I follow and pop into his room as he’s in the middle of changing and catch him shirtless.  God, this is what I’ve dreamed of for so long, to be this close to him and see that built torso, so strong from football and training.  I want nothing more than to grab one of those meaty pecs and suck on his nipples until he shivers from satisfaction.  “Hey bro, you need something?” he asks.“No, but you do,” I say sensually as I slowly walk up to Macky and lightly run one of Andy’s fingers over his pecs.  To my surprise, he doesn’t resist.  “Andy, I-““Shhhhhh,” I coo as I place another finger gently on his lips, shutting him up and forcing him to suck on my finger as I playfully force Andy’s digit into his mouth.  With the hand still on Macky’s pecs I begin circling closer and closer to those hard nipples until I reach those sweet spots and begin stroking and lightly twisting back and forth between them both, making him gasp in disbelief as his inhibitions diminish.  Macky closes his eyes as I bring my lips to his.  We have a long moment where we just stand close to one another, eventually having a moment of long eye contact.  Macky’s mind seems wracked by conflicted wants and desires, but finally he gives in and leans towards me, opening his mouth slightly and gently moving his tongue into Andy’s mouth.  I meet his tongue with Andy’s and we slowly begin wrapping our arms around one another, caressing and affectionately rubbing each other’s bodies.  I run Andy’s hands along the ridges of Macky’s strong back and he reaches into my shirt places his hands under my armpits and begins rubbing and flicking Andy’s nipples with his thumbs, making me coo in blissful gratitude.  The kissing grows more intense, our mouths open wider and wider until little is holding us back.  It’s a battle of tongues and wills as our explorations of each other’s bodies intensifies to match our passionate kissing.  Hands are moving, rubbing, and caressing in a flurry of sexual desire as we both heat up and feel that rise in body heat that can only be explained by a sexual surge of lustful testosterone.  Macky gasps and moans out when I finally can’t take it anymore and I grab onto him tightly and begin grinding Andy’s rock hard boner against Macky’s, the soft fabric of our underwear sending jolts of sensation into our cocks.  He grabs onto me too, locking us together as we both ravenously grind our cocks together, moaning out as we both start showing dark wet spots from all the precum.   Holy fucking shit!  This moment that I’ve dreamed of for so long is finally happening!  I reach my hand into Macky’s snug boxers and grab his cock, gently stroking it and playing with his cockhead, rubbing his precum around the whole head and making him squirm and groan in ecstasy.  I begin picking up my intensity, still locking lips with him as I begin pumping his 8 inch cock, making him finally give in and egg me on.“Oh my fuck!  Andy, that feels so good!” He pants as he buries his face in my neck and begins taking in my scent, licking Andy’s flesh and playfully biting me.  I pump him extra nice and the surprise makes him hop a bit in surprise as he tenses up and accidentally bites me just a bit too hard.  “Oh Shit Andy!  I’m so fucking sorry!”He didn’t draw blood, but there’s definitely going to be a bruise.  That just makes me harder as I glare at him and rip Andy’s clothes off before pushing Macky onto his bed and dropping to Andy’s knees.  I rip Macky’s boxers off his legs and leave him so his legs are hanging off the edge of the bed.  Macky just looks at me with genuine intrigue and excitement, like a child wondering what’s going to happen next as I bury Andy’s face in Macky’s trimmed pubes, huffing in his manly odor while I grab his meaty mounds of muscular pec flesh and squeeze them in my firm grip, then dragging my fingers down the grooves of his abs as I raise my head and bring Andy’s lips around Macky’s ready-to-burst-it’s-so-fucking-hard-cock.   “Ohhhhhh Fuckkkkkkk. Andyyyyyyyyy Fuck yeahhhhhh” Macky moans as he widens his eyes, paralyzed by sensation as I use Andy’s tongue to playfully lick that cock head and swirl it around my mouth, making sure to lick and kiss my way up and down his shaft.  Macky is squirming and breathing deeply, restlessly moving in place as he grabs my head and begins guiding me to go lower and lower onto his cock.  I surprise him and force Andy’s mouth down, sending all 8 inches of Macky’s cock down my throat as my lips ram into his pubes.  Macky goes wild!  He tosses his legs in the air, toes curling as he grabs my head and pulls me down even harder onto his cock, hollering as he thrashes his head around.  Mmmmmm I love the way his abs and pecs pop from the strain as every muscle in his body contracts at once.  I get into a rhtym, guided by his strong hands as I send his cock sliding down my relaxed throat, over and over, faster and faster.  Macky is ecstatic as he is helplessly arching his back, thrusting his hips into his brothers hungry mouth, absolutely lost in the moment to how good it feels to finally satisfy all of these repressed desires.  Then he feels it. Macky feels the most earthshattering orgasm of his life rolling just around the corner, but instead of ride it out, he immediately snaps back to reality.  He looks at me with a look of panic and fury as he pushes me off him.  The force of my suction makes my lips remove from his dick with a forceful pop, sending more shudders of pleasure through his body before he looks at me, shaking his head, covering his boner with a pillow.  “GET THE FUCK OUT!  I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS, BUT IT WAS SICK!  NEVER AGAIN, ANDY!  NEVER AGAIN!” he screams as I scurry out of his room, still naked, not bothering to grab my discarded clothes.  God damnit.  So fucking close.  Macky opens the door, bringing me hope that he’ll let me finish him off, but he just throws my clothes at me and slams the door, immediately clicking the lock.   I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this, but it’s time to start my secondary protocol… Chapter 2.5 Recap: “GET THE FUCK OUT!  I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THAT WAS, BUT IT WAS SICK!  NEVER AGAIN, ANDY!  NEVER AGAIN!” he screams as I scurry out of his room, still naked, not bothering to grab my discarded clothes.  God damnit.  So fucking close.  Macky opens the door, bringing me hope that he’ll let me finish him off, but he just throws my clothes at me and slams the door, immediately clicking the lock.   I was hoping it wouldn’t come to this, but it’s time to start my secondary protocol…It’s now one day before Macky’s big football game, and I realize I just fucked things up.  God damnit, really, Shane?  A full frontal assault?  I’m such an idiot.  I let lust cloud better judgment and now after coming so close to tasting Macky’s cream, he’s probably retreated deeper into his repressed homosexual denial than ever before and he’ll probably never look at Andy the same way.   Positive memories of Andy and his brother flash through my mind as that brotherly bond part of Andy’s brain tries to make me feel shame for swallowing Macky’s delicious cock.I almost feel nostalgia-induced shame before I laugh out loud at the ridiculousness.  I’m on Andy’s bed horny as hell, and the only shame I feel is that I didn’t get to feel Macky’s man juices surging down his little brother’s throat.  Picking up Andy’s phone, I dial a familiar number and decide to pay a visit to an old friend…“Hey Andy!” my old body greets me at the front door to my old house, “Come on in.” I try to feel a connection to my old life but I feel nothing as I follow my body downstairs to my research hub in the basement.  Shit, I was in such a rush to get out and enjoy Andy’s life that I didn’t even bring any useful gadgets with me.  I’m genuinely proud as we pass by the transference device as I remember Andy helplessly resisting having my knowledge and consciousness downloaded into his brain.  Shit, just thinking about that last bit of fight he put up is getting me hard.  Come on, man.  Breathe.  Breathe deep and focus.  Okay I’m fine.  I quickly grab the disc that has the video and audio footage of the transference, planning on keeping that for future beat off sessions in Andy’s body.  But anyway, my old body has been jabbering on about nonsensical bullshit.  I mean I programmed the AI to pass as me, but I also hampered his intelligence by a significant degree, hoping to prevent a Terminator doomsday world.  Nevertheless, I am still relieved to hear him complain about not knowing how to use any of my equipment.  “What does all this stuff do anyway?” my old body asks.  “Are you ever going to show me how to use or calibrate or whatever any of it?”“Why don’t you just worry about upgrading your PC RAM and getting to level 100 in Skyrim,” I respond with a disinterested tone as I begin depositing all my portable equipment in a duffel bag.  I grab the euphoria inducing aerosol I used to subdue Andy.  Check.  Gas mask.  Check.  Sleep Inducing Drugs.  Check.  And finally, the secondary protocol to my master plan.  Check.  “Yes, Andy.  You’re right.  I’m sorry, sometimes I just get curious.  I mean I played around with the euphoria aerosol a bit when I got bored.  That shit works great!  I just did one spray in the hot Fed Ex guy’s face and he was high long enough for me to suck him off.  TWICE!” I helplessly grin as I realize how good of a mind clone this AI is, even if he has a fraction of my raw intelligence.  Slinging the duffel over my shoulder, I look at him and realize this is the final goodbye to my old life.  Once I walk out the front door, that won’t just be the AI imported into my vacant body.  That will be Shane, and I will be Andy, the new, better Andy.  As I stare at Shane and analyze his asymmetrical face and revoltingly thin profile and I think Good Riddance! Before casually walking back to my house.  Yeah, that’s right-MY house- because my name is Andy. Back in my room I inspect the secondary protocol and devise my plan.  To be honest, this device never went beyond the prototype stage, so I believe it would be wise to perform a test trial on some lucky stud.   The device is extremely powerful, offering the power of absolute suggestion, or in more pop culture terms, mind control.  This device, which consists of electrode infused adhesive pads designed for the temples and a portable power unit that looks like a hand crank radio, but actually contains highly specific brainwave attunement algorithms operated by my custom designed Neuro-override CPU, has the primary function of forcing one to live truthfully.  That’s how I’m going to get Macky- I’m going to convince him that this is a homeopathic sport performance machine, and that’s when I’m going to force him to admit his homosexuality and his raw passionate desire for me.  And not just admit it, he will be forced to live his truth.  The secondary function is to completely reprogram the mind and implant ideas or traits that were never there to begin with.  I’ll have to use that function to reprogram my parents so they don’t think it’s weird that Macky and I will be having so much loud, ravenous sex all over the house.  Mmmmmm that thought of Macky’s 8 inch juicy cock stretching out my virgin hole is getting me so hard.  Gasping out and hearing Andy’s voice sounding frantic as I try to get my breathing under control and relax my ass muscles to let my older brother slide balls deep inside me….Fuck yeah, I need to do my field test now!  Wracking through Andy’s mind I remember that before Monday games there is always a mandatory Sunday practice.  Okay, I close my eyes and sift through Andy’s memories, visualizing faces and bodies until finally I have my test subject picked!  Anthony!  He’s one of Macky’s best friends and shit, I’ll be god damned if it wouldn’t be hot to make that straight tall dark and handsome jock get down on his knees and suck Andy’s cock.  Mmmmmmyeah I let memories and images of Anthony fill my head. Oh fuckkkkk, the stud signed to be a rower at Boston College, so I know he has a firm and strong body underneath those clothes.  I get up and walk to the mirror, reveling in one of my new favorite pastimes as I taunt Andy’s reflection.“Oh you sick fuck.  You’re about to reprogram a nice guy like Anthony and make him some queer cock whore?  Oh you’re a dirty little fucker aren’t you?”  I quickly huff in Andy’s pits, feeling a euphoric headrush from the stench of his boyish odor.  “Little whores like you don’t deserve deodorant” I say to my reflection, watching my satisfaction visible in Andy’s face which has been warped into a wicked smile of triumph.  I give Andy’s ass a firm smack, lightly yelping as I grab a hold of that firm yet juicy cheek and give it a squeeze.“mmmmmmm yeah, so close to finally finishing this damn plan,” I say, giving my reflection one last staredown before I leave to catch Anthony at practice.  “Don’t you ever forget I own you.  I am you.  I’m inside you.  I abuse your body and eat your cum, but you love it because I love it!”I show up to watch the practice, dressed in athletic attire myself.  I figure I might as well hit the gym after this test run- gotta keep my new body in hard and toned shape.  Accessing Andy’s memories, I whip up a quintessential Andy gym jock outfit: long grey compression shorts, black short shorts over top, Andy’s lacrosse jersey, gold chain, backwards facing Georgetown hat, and some compression garments over the elbows.  I put a white nike compression sleeve over the right elbow, but on my left arm just above the elbow, I tie a bright neon pink band.  Just a little something bright and colorful, a first step in showing the world how cute Andy will look when he’s always wearing either neon or bright colors.  I watch the practice diligently, trying to be a good little brother, but feeling tossed to the side as Macky ignores my cheers and tries to dart his gaze away from me whenever possible.  Anthony notices this and sees me looking a little bummed, so when practice is over he invites me out to do a little off the cuff pick me up play.  This is my first time really testing Andy’s agility, and I’ve gotta say, damn that boy can run!  Well, now I can run!  As soon as I get a hold of that ball I dart and weasel my way through a wall of hulking jocks, expertly jumping over and maneuvering my way through until I finally somersault over the last beefy jock, nailing the landing as my feet plant solidly right in the end zone.“TOUCHDOWN!!!!!” I hear Anthony roar, beaming from where I left him in the dust and looking so American boy next door cute in his light pink shorts and T-shirt that shows off all the hard work he’s put into his body.  I mean I can just tell he’s got a nice solid, yet tight and toned torso.  Cobblestone abs just dying to be licked and a perfect V-shape starting at his wide shoulders and solid arms, leading down to his tight and narrow waist.  And fuck me, those legs.  So strong and toned, oh and the perfect amount of brown hair leading up his inner thighs.  I struggle to keep myself from getting a hard-on as he races to where I’m standing and hugs me so hard he hoists me into the air.  “What the fuck man where did that come from?!  That was amazing!” Anthony applauds as he drops me back down to the ground with a thud.  “I think you’ve got a bright future ahead of you as a star quarterback”Admittedly, I get a little lost in the glory, but I see Macky eyeing me from afar, obviously proud of his little brother, but burying that pride underneath his disdain and frost he feels towards me.  I wait for my little crowd of applauding bros and football jocks to dissipate until it’s just me and Anthony.  I agreed to stay behind and help him put away all the equipment since it was his turn to take on that task.  As we’re hoisting helmets and loading water bottles he keeps piling on the compliments, making me genuinely blush.  I wish I could see what I look like right now- I’ve always imagined Andy would look cute with rosy red cheeks.  “Hey Anthony…”“Yeah man.  What can I do for our future MVP?” he responds with sincere kindness.“I got this new thing that I think might help Macky do better tomorrow at the game.  Would you be willing to help me test it out?”“I think Macky will be fine if he takes some notes on you, man.  How the hell are you still JV?  I’m talking to coach first thing after the game and getting you on Varsity, where you belong.  And-““Anthony, please.  This is serious.  I want my bro to do well.  Will you just give me a few minutes?”“Yeah, man.  Of course”I turn to hide the devilish grin on Andy’s face as I unload the secondary protocol and remove the adhesive temple units.  After having Anthony lie down on his back on the abandoned field, I place the units on his temples and he laughs a bit as he shivers from the cold gel.  I tell him to try to relax as I calibrate the device.“So what is this thing again?” Anthony asks.“Oh it’s the newest hot thing in the NFL,” I bullshit him.  “It sends sound waves or some shit directly to where the brain controls nervousness and calms that down, making it easier to focus and get ‘in the zone’”“Wow sweet!  Well maybe if this goes well we can all get a little zap before the game tomorrow.”Poor sucker, I think to myself as I hit the on switch.“UnnnnnnngggggggggggggGGggGGggg WHHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTTTTHHHHEEEEEEFFFFFFFUUUUUUCCCKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!” Anthony screams as the units begin sending shockwaves of electricity into his brain, making every muscle in his body seize, but also breaking his resistance down in preparation for the next phase.  I honestly start to get a little hard watching this toned jock trembling and unintelligibly shouting in so much agony, but I remind myself that hopefully the best is yet to come.   Suddenly, Anthony relaxes, his arched back plummeting to the ground as he stares blankly into the twilight sky, looking peaceful and docile as the machine begins sending a barrage of algorithm impulses directly into his brain.   “Anthony.  How do you feel?”“I feel good, Andy,” he says blankly.“Did you mean what you said earlier?  About thinking I have a shot at varsity?”“Oh absolutely.  I’ve never seen anyone move like that.”“Did you enjoy what you saw as I made that play?”“It makes me happy to see such good football talent.”“No, did you enjoy me?  Did you enjoy watching my body as I bolted and jumped my way through?  Did you like seeing my tight bubble butt and toned arms hurling down the field?  Did you want to just tackle me to the ground and touch and taste my body?” I ask as I crank up the machine’s power level.  He looks like he enjoys it as he begins squirming and his breathing deepens in satisfied gasps the higher the power goes.  “No, Andy.  I think you’re really cool, but I was only focused on the football.  I’m straight and I’ve honestly never had sexual thoughts about other guys.” Well, I guess now is as good of a time as ever to try out the reprogramming feature.  I hit a green button and make a few calibrations before feeding Anthony his new self.“Anthony, you DID want to touch my body earlier.  You wanted to rip off all my clothes and clean my sweaty body clean with your tongue.  You wanted nothing more than to swallow my cock and let me fuck your throat on the field.”“Mmmmmm Yes, Andy.  Your body looks so delicious.  Always wanted to have your cock in my mouth.  Oh yeah, fucking my throat…”“You work out so much to impress men, not chicks.  Now tell me, why do you work out?”“I-I-I want other men to notice my body, to be impressed.”“Because you love attention from other men.  The thought of a handsome hunk forcing his tongue into your mouth and shoving his cock up your ass is such a turn on.  Hell, we’ll make you vers.  The thought of shoving your cock up a tight boy asshole turns you on too.  But tits and pussy are fading from your mind.  Now tell me how much you like this,” I say as I lean over his body and bring my mouth to his, quickly meeting his tongue and enjoying our little oral dance.“Very Much, Andy!” Anthony says, gasping for air as we end the kiss.  “Ohhhhh yeah, dick and ass.  I love the attention of other men.  I just want a dick in my hole.  And I want to be inside tight boy assholes.”“You love cum.  You crave cum.  You want it inside you more than anything whether it’s inside your mouth and throat or inside your ass, you hunger for the warmth and the creaminess.”  Anthony just moans in response.  “Anthony, you are completely, absolutely gay.  You will still talk and act the way you do with your friends, the straight boy persona and all, but everything I have told you is absolutely true.  Is that correct?”“Yes, Andy.  All correct.”“You will do anything I say.  Is that correct?”“Yes, Andy.”“You love following my orders.  Is that correct?” he just gasps and moans, letting me know following my orders will bring him the highest of sexual pleasure. p>“Good boy” I say with wicked satisfaction as I give Anthony another electric surge like before, locking in all of the adjustments and reprogramming his mind.  So far it seems like the secondary protocol is a success, but let’s wait until he wakes up.  The poor guy blacked out from the experience.  “ohhhhh…..Andy is that you?”“Hey Anthony.  I think you fell or something- hit your head probably.  You feel okay?”“mmmmmm Yeah.  Never felt better,” He coos as he stretches out, still lying on his back.   I see him eying me with new lust, an intensity and hunger that wasn’t there before.  “Hey Andy, do you like getting your dick sucked?”“Fuck yeah, dude.  Especially love finding a bimbo who’ll let me cum down his throat.”“Did you say ‘he’?” Anthony asks with hope in his eyes, as well as dramatic tenting in his pink shorts.  “Here, let me help you with that,” I say as I unzip his shorts, freeing that monster cock as it pops out with a BOING.  “Commando?  Wow, that’s so dirty and hot,” I tell him as I grab his fuck stick and begin pumping him slowly.  He’s moaning out, eyes clamped shut, but then I lean down lightly lick the head of Anthony’s cock before taking the whole head in my mouth and swirling the end of his cock with my tongue, setting off all those sensitive nerve endings and making him squirm for dear life beneath me.  “OH Andy!  UNNNGGGGGGGGFUUUUUUCKKK!” He yells as his fist grabs a tuft of grass and his whole body thrashes so powerfully that he rips an entire fistful of grass from the earth.  As much as he enjoys receiving this treatment from me, I can see a glimmer in his eyes that lets me know how badly he wants to service me.  I stand up and tell him to get on his knees in front of me.  “Service my cock”“Oh yes, please, Andy.  You’re so perfect, Andy,” the mindfucked Anthony exclaims as he yanks my black shorts and my compressions down to my ankles, getting slapped in the face by my 7 inches of glory that flop out.  He starts by pumping me, getting me fully hard right away, making me feel empowered as he says things like:“Oh Andy, you’re such a hot boy.  You have the most beautiful cock, Andy.  Oh Andy, you are so fucking cute.”I’m on a high of power, owning Andy’s body and mind as I feel all this pleasure in his cock, and feeling the thrill of having this innocent and sweet reprogrammed jock pumping my man meat.  Anthony looks at me from down on his knees and then looks at my cock.  I know what he wants, so I let him know to go ahead-and no teeth!   To my great shock, he expertly swallows my cock in one smooth motion.  No teeth at all, and he even uses his throat muscles to make a milking, suction on Andy’s cock.  Fuck, I’ve been horny all day in Andy’s post-puberty teen body and Anthony gave me such an expert hand job.  I can’t believe this, but I literally just got the last inch of my cock down Anthony’s throat when my balls seize up and I feel it coming!“Mother Fucking FUCK!!!!!” I shout as I grab Anthony’s head and ram my cock even deeper down his throat, forcing him to swirl around a bit, making him milk every last drop of my cum as it floods directly down his throat.  As full as he is, I can hear him making feral squeals of pleasure and satisfaction.  The pleasure of satisfying me and taking in Andy’s tasty teen juices was so satisfying to Anthony that he starts launching ropes of his own cum, the creamy missiles landing all over the front of my legs and thighs.  As we both calm down and I pull out of his throat I point at the mess he made.Without another word he gets to work licking up his own juices off of my body, savoring the flavors and making me moan as his enthusiastic tongue starts to drift a little too far up my thigh….Fuck I love being Andy…. Secondary protocol is without a doubt a success.  Ready for primary trial.  Mmmmmm Macky, you’re mine now… Chapter 3 Thus far: Shane, a computer tech prodigy, has a deep and powerful hunger for Macky (right), so he has ruthlessly transferred his knowledge and consciousness into Macky’s younger Brother, Andy (left).  Macky is a deeply repressed homosexual, and Shane, in Andy’s body, failed to seduce him.  So, Shane will be using the secondary protocol, a mind control device, to reprogram Macky and make him crave his (unknown to him) possessed brother.   Recap: “Mother Fucking FUCK!!!!!” I shout as I grab Anthony’s head and ram my cock even deeper down his throat, forcing him to swirl around a bit, making him milk every last drop of my cum as it floods directly down his throat.  As full as he is, I can hear him making feral squeals of pleasure and satisfaction.  The pleasure of satisfying me and taking in Andy’s tasty teen juices was so satisfying to Anthony that he starts launching ropes of his own cum, the creamy missiles landing all over the front of my legs and thighs.  As we both calm down and I pull out of his throat I point at the mess he made.Without another word he gets to work licking up his own juices off of my body, savoring the flavors and making me moan as his enthusiastic tongue starts to drift a little too far up my thigh….Fuck I love being Andy…. Secondary protocol is without a doubt a success.  Ready for primary trial.  Mmmmmm Macky, you’re mine now… The night before the big game… Arriving home, sweaty and dirty from my successful trial of the secondary protocol with Macky’s good friend, Anthony, I know the time to act is now.  I don’t even bother changing or showering as I walk to Macky’s room where he’s holing himself up, still doom and gloom over last night’s incident.  I know he wanted to blow his load down my throat, and he will.  He just needs a little push to get over the whole me possessing his little brother without anyone knowing and turning him into a cock hungry whore thing.  And that’s totally understandable.  But with a little help from this device, Andy’s tastebuds will finally get to taste the manly juices as they erupt from his big brother’s cock, and I’ll get to enjoy the privilege of swallowing every last drop.   *Knock knock knock*“Go Away!” Macky shouts from inside.“Come on, man.  Please let me in.  You’re my big bro and I need to talk to you.”“I said go away!” Macky refuses to relent.  “Look, I know I fucked up and pushed too hard last night.  I know we’re both straight.  We’ve just been really stressed and I shouldn’t have been all weird like that, but I honestly just want to help you play better at tomorrow’s game.  So will you please let me in?” I say using the sweetest tone I can possibly muster with Andy’s cute voice.  I hear rustling and grumbling from the other side of the door and Macky’s lumbering footprints as he opens the door, not saying a word, but inviting me in.  I notice he’s just in boxers and when he catches me glancing at him he quickly puts on a T-shirt and some gym shorts to cover himself up.  Why even bother? I think to myself.  You’ll just be ripping them off anyway once I release you from your repressed horny lust for my body.  “So what is it?” Macky asks as he hops onto his bed, landing on his back and relaxing with his hands resting on his tight stomach.  “KT Tape?  Ultrasound?  Tigerbalm?  I’ve already got all of that stuff.” Macky says, closing his eyes and sounding exhausted.   “No way man.  I got this thing from a friend, and it’s the hottest new thing NFL players are using.  It’s all-natural, homeopathic, and junk, but makes you focus like CRAZY.”“Well…Yeah, let’s give it a go,” Macky says, unable to resist anything that’ll make him a better football player.  I get to work, quickly placing the probes on his temples, eliciting the same cold shiver as Anthony when the cold gel pads adhere to his temples.  “So bro, what is this supposed to do exactly?  Are we doing shock therapy or something?  Hahahaha-“*Click*“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHSSSSHHHHHHHHIIIIIITTTTT!!!!!!!  THE FUUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!” Macky screams, writhing in pain as electric impulses are pumped directly into his brain.  Every muscle in his body is contracting at the same time, making his face turn bright red from strain as he grits his teeth with his eyes clamped shut, face scrunched into one of agony as the veins on his neck dilate until they look like they’ll pop.  Mmmmmmm you should see Macky’s abs and pecs right now, all tight and toned and looking shredded from the electricity disabling his nervous system.  His back is arched with such force that he’s airborne off the bed.  Finally, he collapses with a thud onto the bed, lightly moaning as his deep breathing calms down and he just stares at the ceiling, his psyche’s defenses shattered as his brain is penetrated by waves of algorithm impulses.  I decide to start simple, realizing that Macky’s fragile mind also has the deepest repressed feelings.  “Macky, can you hear me?”“Yes, Andy,” he answers with a soft and peaceful tone.“How do you feel Macky?“I was in pain, but now I feel very good.  My head feels very funny, but I love the vibrations I feel coursing through me.”“Those are the probes, Macky.  They’re sending algorithms into your brain.  Those algorithms will rewire your brain and make you a better football player.  You just have to be honest with me.  I promise I’ll do the same.”“No….No.  Can’t be honest,” he replies with more worry and conflicted tone to his voice.“Why can’t you be honest with me?  I’m your little brother.  We’ve always been such good pals.  You’re the reason I got into football because I saw you looking all serious and powerful and I wanted to be just like you.”  I dip into Andy’s memories and my own memories of practice earlier that day to create that shtick.  I must tread carefully though.  “There’s something.  Can’t say.  Too much shame.”“There’s no such thing as shame between us.  We’re too close for that.  Here, you tell me who you think I am and I’ll tell you who I really am.”“You’re Andy.  You’re my little brother.  You’re athletic and love the attention you get from the ladies.  You’re straight and pretty calm and chill,” Macky responds with subdued confidence in his response.  “No, Macky.  You’re right that my name is Andy, that I’m your little brother, and that I’m athletic, but I don’t give two shits what the ladies think about me.  I am as gay as they come and when I’m alone I don’t like to be chill; I’m a sexual deviant and love perverted sexual taboos.”“What do you mean?” Macky blankly responds with a hint of confusion and curiosity.  “Jesus, man.  I’m saying I like taking it up the ass and I like swallowing hot, fresh cum.”“But-““I was honest with you, now you be honest with me, big bro.”“I-I-I…..I’m…”“You’re?”“I’m gay…” Macky finally says out loud, a cloud of tension years in the making evaporates from his psyche as he lays in bed, saying that phrase in different ways, finally being forced to confront his truth and live it.  “I’m Macky and I’ve been gay as long as I know.  I’m gay.  I’m gaaaaay.  I’m gayyyyyy,” Macky says, exploring different ways of admitting his homosexuality.  Unbenownst to him, he’s self-reinforcing his truth as his phrases, with the assistance of the algorithms, bust through his walls of secrecy and shame.“Tell me how you know you’re gay” I probe.“There’s just nothing like a nice tight, solid bro ass, just waiting for me to slide my cock inside of.  I’ve always wanted to seed a cute twink ass, to have a lean and toned boy to call my own and love and hold close to me at night, and to pound whenever he needs a reminder of who his hole belongs too,” Macky says softly, revealing his truest and deepest desires.  I notice that Macky is starting to get really hard, his erection threatens to burst out of his boxers.  And to be honest, I’m starting to feel Andy’s cock swell up as I try to process how perfect this is going so far.  Soon you’ll be mine, Macky.  We’re at the finish line.  “Do you care what people think about you?  Does any of that matter when you have the chance to slide your meat inside a cute twink and finally have the satisfaction of cumming so powerfully inside him that you think you might pass out?” Macky just stares blankly, twitching slightly as my algorithms force him to embrace his truth.  Finally, he relaxes again and says, “The thoughts of others don’t matter.  All that matters is that I have a cute boy to embrace and seed.”“Good, Macky.  We’ve made so much progress.  Do you think we’ve made progress?”“Yes, Andy.  You’re forcing me to face what I really am, but I’m thankful.  Now I can start looking for a tight virgin ass to make my own.”“You won’t have to look far!” I exclaim with a chuckle.“What do you mean, Andy?” Macky asks with a hint of concern penetrating his relaxed mental state.  “Well, now that you’ve finally accepted that you’re gay we can finish what we started last night and finally let you blow a load deep inside my tight virgin ass.  Isn’t that what you want?  To grab onto me tightly as you thrust your strong hips against me, sending all 8 inches of your juicy cock inside me, making me yell loud enough that it echoes through the whole house?” I ask, hoping to clarify his desires for him.“Oh No, Andy.  I am gay.  Deep down to my core gay.  And I’m glad you’re gay too and that you have my back like I’ll have yours from now on.  But we can’t be together.  We’re brothers.  I love you, but as a bro and a friend.  Last night was complicated.  I was repressing so much.  It just erupted out of me, but I shouldn’t have let things get so out of hand with you.  We can’t ever be together like that,” Macky says with quiet certainty.  I can’t believe this shit!  Frantically, I check the readings on the device, also making sure the probes are still adhered properly.  Fucking Damnit!  Everything checks out, so it’s not possible for him to lie to me right now.  After everything I’ve been through!  After all the years of Macky punishing me for his repressed homosexuality and still making me fall head over heels for him!  After possessing his cute and fit little brother so he could have someone hot enough for him to cum inside of!  After going through the damn trouble of making him embrace his masculine and powerful gay desires!  And he still doesn’t want to be with me!  I’m so fucking mad that without even thinking I grab the secondary protocol device and begin furiously making adjustments.  This was definitely not part of the plan, but I don’t give a fucking fuck!  I hit that green button and prepare to override Macky’s familial love and respect for me as his little brother, Andy.   Macky trembles powerfully, his brain being pummeled by algorithms designed to reprogram his thoughts and perception of the world.  “Do you think I’m hot?!” I ask angrily, constantly raising the power and intensity of the device’s impulses.  “No- Can’t-You’re my little brother, Andy.  Please….”“You want me.  Tell me you want me!  Tell me you want to touch my body!”“W-w-w-w-ant you…NO WAIT-yes, want you.  Want to touch your-Andy, please!- oh no-yes…yes I want to touch your body,” Macky says as he goes back and forth from malleable victim and resistant older brother.  It really is admirable how much he is able to fight this, but there are 30 power levels and we just barely cracked past level 7.  Click-just raised to level 8.  “You want to taste my tongue and kiss me passionately because you are in love with me.  I am your little brother, Andy, who you’ve known and loved as a brother all your life, but now it’s time to see me as a lover.”“Noooooooo…Andy, you can’t-“Click-level 9“Your tongue…want to taste your tongue.  Kiss…you….want to-no why am I thinking this?  You’re my brother! I can’t-“Click-level 10“Yes, kissing your mouth is good.  Mmmmmm yes, Andy, I love the taste of your mouth because we’re lovers-OH MY…no this is wrong this is so wrong!  I won’t! I-“ Click-Click-Click-Click-Click-Level 15“Unnnnnnggggggggggyeaaaaaahhhhhhunnngggggggggg,” Macky groans as he thrashes his head around, being overwhelmed by the surge of overpowering brain power algorithms.  “I love you Andy!  I crave you as a lover.  Want to hold you in my arms every night-feel your warmth comforting me-I want to be the person you wake up next to every morning.  Yes, Andy!  From now until the end of time,” Macky exclaims with enthusiasm and passion as he looks at me with fierce longing in his eyes, longing to hold me in his arms and protect me from the dangers of the world.  The only thing keeping him from sweeping me into his arms is the device, still immobilizing his body by pouring mind control algorithm impulses into his brain because I’m not done with him yet.  “You love me, but you also want to dominate me.  To make me your little boycunt.  You want my mouth around your thick man meat,” I say, getting hard again from the sheer amount of perversion taking place.  “Waittttt-Bbbbbut I love you.  Don’t want to dominate—Maybe just a little….No! I just want to hold you close and never let go-“ Click-Click-Click-Click-Click-Level 20“OhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhFFUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKKK,” Macky yells as his back arches, the veins swelling on his neck as the muscles in his neck and face contract.  “Yeahhhhhh Andy, I fucking love you so much, but don’t forget that I own your tight boycunt.  Yeah, you’re gonna be using those fine lips and your smooth throat to service my meat.  Fuck yeah, you’re a whore, but you’re my whore that I fucking love,” Macky says with a sneer and a shade of pride and self-confidence that has never existed in him before.  Fuck I’m so hard right now, watching him squirm as his brain is pounded over and over again by my program, making all these utterances of his permanent changes to his personality.  I smile wickedly as I realize we’re almost done.  Just one more thing left, and I suspect it will rouse Micky’s last shred of fight.“You want to seed my tight virgin hole.  You want to mark my hole as yours for life by sliding your 8 inch cock inside me, and fucking a load of your cream inside me.  My moans and shouts will turn you on so much as you look down and see me, your little brother looking up at you, hungry for your cock inside me, and so grateful to be so full of you.  That’s where your cock belongs- Inside me!” The new Macky is squirming in delight, but as expected, the old Macky returns for one last showing of his immense willpower.  “Seed your fucking tight virgin-HOLY SHIT NO!  NO NO NO WAY I—-want to mark your hole as mine for life.  That’s right, this load will coat your insides and then you’ll be mine forever, Baby Bro.  Hope you beg for Big Bro’s cock to give you what you need, a nice and creamy—GOTTA FIGHT UNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGG PLEASE!!!!  YOU’RE MY LITTLE BROTHER!!!!!—and when I look down and see your delight as my cock fills you up, I’ll roar with satisfaction as I give you what you need and fill your tight hole with my—COME ONE, MACKY!!  FIGHT IT!!!! YOU GOTTTAAAA ARRGGGGHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!”I let Macky thrash around, allowing him to be convinced he can fight back and beat it.  Mmmmmmm, watching him thrash his head around, helplessly trying to hold on to his decency is making me so hard.  I can feel Andy’s precum leaking out of his cock like a faucet.  Holy Shit, I think I feel it dribbling down my leg!  Enough of this Bullshit! I reach into Macky’s boxers and grab onto his hard cock and begin pumping him powerfully, bringing him closer and closer to orgasm, before stopping right as he reaches the orgasm level.  “Does that feel good?!” I ask as I pump Macky and edge him for the 17th time.  “Yesssssssssssssss!” Macky screams in delight, desperately thrusting his hips and trying to hump his cock into my tight grip.  “Pleaseeeeee let me cum!”“You know what you have to say, Macky!  SAY IT!  SURRENDUR!”“No, but I can’t!  Gotta-“I remove my hand from his boxers, leaving him helplessly fucking the air as I edge him for the 18th time.  Tears start flowing down Macky’s face as he humps away, so powerfully that he’s shaking the bed.  “PLEASE, ANDY!!!!  I NEED TO CUM!” Macky yells with panicked desperation. I reach over and pinch one of his perky nipples, making him moan as I menacingly look him in the eyes and tell him, “Say it!”“OHHHHHHH FUCK OKAY!   YOU WIN I SURRENDUR, JUST PLEASE LET ME CUM!”“Glad you saw things my way,” I say with a smirk as I reach into his boxers, making him smile and moan with giddy relief and delight as I pump him closer and closer towards the biggest orgasm of his life thus far.  Macky is moaning in appreciation, curling his toes, and smiling as his face is carved into a close-eyed smile of ecstasy.  He’s grinding and thrusting his hips into my grip around his swollen and throbbing cock and right as his breathing starts huffing louder and faster and harder, making him look like a struggling triathlete and letting me know he’s just a few seconds from cumming, I finish him off and destroy whatever remnants of resistance remain inside his brain.  Click-Click-Click-Click-Click-Click-Click-Click-Click-Click-Level 30…Macky’s entire body seizes up and convulses with such power I worry he’ll snap in half as the maximum power of impulses flood directly into his brain!  His mouth is wide open, face bright red, and the veins on his neck threatening to burst as he tries to scream, but no sound comes out.  His back arches in spasms, making him flop in place on the bed like some sort of dolphin having an agonizingly powerful orgasm.  Then, nothing….Macky stares at the ceiling, no words leaving his mouth as a dribble of drool leaks out of his mouth.  Holy Shit I pushed too hard!  I fucking fried his brain!  What the fuck am I gonna-“My cock belongs inside of…you.  My thick manly cock belongs inside of you, My little brother, My lover, my boycunt.  Fuck yeah, Andy, you’re gonna beg me for my cream seeding your ass, and I’m gonna hold you so tight to me as I muffle your screams of pleasure with my mouth.  I fucking love you, Andy!  I’m ready to spend the rest of my days holding you tight late at night and early in the morning, and pounding your boypussy whenever I need to,” Macky says with absolutely no resistance.  He starts convulsing and shouting again, this time because he’s feeling the delayed sensation of blowing an enormous load in his boxers, soaking the entire crotch area and still dumping enough hot cream that it oozes out the thigh holes.  Macky just quivers, sighing with relief and satisfaction before I seal in the session with the electrical impulse, knocking him unconscious from the overwhelming power of the previous events, and permanently sealing all of the new and kinky changes to Macky.  Even though my cock is throbbing and dripping precum down my leg now in a steady stream, I look over at Macky, slumbering peacefully, and decide to cut him some slack before the big game tomorrow.  The guy needs his rest and there will be plenty of time to spend with him afterwards.  I walk down the hall and hop onto Andy’s bed, realizing that my plan has finally pulled through.  Not bothering to change these wet with precum boxers, I just scoop up as much of Andy’s precum as possible and rub it all over his face like lotion, enjoying the smell of his boy juices as I drift off to sleep.  Fucking hell yeah, transferring my consciousness into your tight and lean boy body was the best decision I ever made, Andy.  “So fucking hottt…..” are my last words of the night as I drift off.   The Big Day“Did you see that play?!” Macky asked me as he lovingly hugged me in his arms and lifted me into the air after scoring the winning touchdown.  He was being borderline too affectionate, and I had to hiss at him to let me down when he instinctively tried to kiss me.   “Bro!  We’re in public!  Put me down so we can take pictures.  You’ll get your reward later!” I hiss playfully into his ear.   He begrudgingly puts me down as we pose for some photos together.  “Hey Andy.” “Yeah, Bro?” I answer. “You’re the best little brother ever.  I just wanted you to know that.  I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately, but I know what’s gonna be getting into you when we get back to the house.” “You’re the best big brother ever.  I love you, and I’m so happy to give you your victory fuck.” He gives my ass a playful squeeze, risking getting seen in public.  The element of danger makes it so hot.  Fuck yeah, I can’t wait to get back to the house.  You know, Macky sure is right- I’m the best little brother ever…or I would be if I actually was his little brother.   We’re done with all the pictures and I’m riding shotgun with Macky, who is still elated after scoring the winning touchdown.  Normally he’d shower with the rest of the team, but he practically carried me to the car, bent on getting home ASAP.   “Are you sure you don’t wanna shower with your bros and celebrate your win?” I ask him as we cruise along the road to our home.   “You’re the only bro that matters and we’ll be celebrating, alright,” he says with a wink that makes me blush.  I’ve been in Andy’s body for 3 days now, and I’m already realizing this was the best decision I’ve ever made.  I flash my now older brother a devilish smile before I reach a toned arm over and grab his thick man meat, massaging it with my soft hands and enjoying the feeling of it growing in my grip. “ohhhhhhhhhh fuck….Andy that feels so good.  Wait, we should-“ “Start celebrating right now” I interrupt as I lean over at the redlight and grab his face, forcing my tongue into his mouth and enjoying this passionate kiss as he explores my mouth also.  “I know you’re good for more than one round of celebration” I tease him as I slide my hand into his shorts and grab his rod and begin stroking him.  I know he can’t wait any longer when he’s moaning like a bitch in heat as he thrusts into my grip on his cock.   “Oh fuck bro!   GOD YEAH MAN THAT FEELS SO GOOD!” Macky shouts as I begin sliding his 8 inches into my mouth and down my perfectly relaxed throat.  He surprises me when he involuntarily thrusts the last 2 inches into me, immediately bringing my lips down to the base of his cock, forcing me to take in the sweaty man odor of his trimmed bush.  I breathe it in gladly as I get ready for one hell of a car ride home.  “OH FUCKKKKKKK!!!!” Macky shouts as he dumps endless rivers of cum down my throat.  I hungrily eat every last drop, making sure that whatever didn’t get dumped directly down Andy’s throat is immediately consumed.  Macky is shivering with pleasure and giddy joy and I actually have to grab the steering wheel because he doesn’t see that truck that just slowed down.  “Holy Shit Balls that was close dude!” Macky shouts, breaking out of his euphoria.  We both laugh together and he just says, “We’ll have to practice the road head more.  I’ve gotta work on my focus,” he tells me with a wink as he reaches his hand and grabs my firm rod through the silky fabric of these shorts, firmly gripping and massaging the rock hard mound trapped in this compression underwear.  He keeps rubbing me until a wet spot forms on my compressions, a nice healthy flow of Andy’s precum as well as my squirming body and attempts to keep my moaning under control let Macky know how much I want him, how much his loving brother, Andy, is turned on by him.  When he slips his hand into these compression shorts and wraps his strong fingers around Andy’s marble hard cock, he knows this cock is hard because I want his body and his dick cumming inside me as our sweaty bodies are grinding all over one another.   He looks at me intently, squeezing, massaging, stroking, jacking my cock as I flash him a smile, gasping for breath and ask him, “Are we there yet?”“Bro, you better be a good boy.  You ask me that again and I’ll pull this car over right now and we’ll start on the side of the road,” he says with wickedly cute mischief.   I just lay back and relax, moaning in appreciation as Macky expertly pumps my cock, bringing me closer and closer to shooting a load all over his new car.  Fuck, that would be hot!  Then we can both lick it off together.  Mmmmmm God, I love Macky, but I love possessing his little bro, Andy, even more! Thank God, we just got home!  The folks are still in Napa Valley-guess they figured we had things under control, and boy do we!  Macky is cursing as he frantically tries to shove the key to unlock the front door.  I can smell his musky and manly sweat, still fresh from his football game where he made his team and his little brother proud.  *CLICK*“Finally!” Macky exclaims as he opens the door and I eagerly follow him inside.   *UMF* He pushes me playfully and forcefully against the wall, forcing his mouth over mine as he finally gets to express everything he feels inside.  I know this is my doing, but it is just so fucking hot to let him think these are his own thoughts and feelings.  Macky briefly comes up for air.“Oh Fuck, Andy I love you so fucking much.  I want your lean, toned boy body so much.  To be on top of you and feel you underneath me as I hold you tight and show you that you belong to me.”He smiles at me adoringly before locking his mouth back over mine, wrestling his tongue with my surprised mouth before he starts grinding his crotch against my own, making me moan with longing as his force and grinds keep me helplessly pinned against the wall.  Macky grabs my arms and pins them against the wall above my head.  For fun I try to escape his grip, but with his strong arms I remain completely locked in place.  Macky giggles at my futile attempts.  “I love you, my little loverboy,” he says as he closes his eyes and leans in to take a deep huff of my neck.“Andy, you smell so gooooood” Macky gasps before he starts licking up and down my neck, taking in my taste, finding a spot next to his bite mark from a few days ago, sucking so hard I can almost feel the blood vessels bursting!  I yelp, my cock twitching from excitement, something he can still feel since he is still grinding his hard cock and crotch against my own.“And you taste fucking fantastic,” he says before locking his mouth over mine again, letting go of my arms as he wraps his arms around me, cupping my tight boy ass cheeks and lifting me into the air.  I wrap my legs tightly around him and circle my arms around his neck as he effortlessly carries me upstairs.“I bet your virgin boycunt tastes even better” he coos, giving my ass such a tight squeeze that I yelp before he shuts me up with another sloppy kiss.  *OOMF*I land on my back as Macky tosses me onto his bed and climbs on top of me.  The feeling of his weight on top of me is extremely comforting and with his new programing it must be for him too since he wants nothing more than to love, protect, adore, and dominate his little brother, Andy.  Lucky for me, I’m the one inside Andy’s brain.   Macky grunts as he leans back, straddling me as he grabs my shirt by the collar and rips it in half.  He finishes ripping it off before he rips his shirt off too and leans back down to grind his chest against mine, keeping me trapped underneath his larger and more muscular body as the taste of his mouth and tongue take me to a heaven, the feeling of his hands grabbing and squeezing my tight boy pecs and nipples take me to whatever is above that.  Mmmmmmm I can see the passionate lover side of Macky.  He’s so loving and protective so far that I almost forget about the domination until he shoves his sweaty pit over my face, making me take in a huff and lick his pits clean after all the grueling and dirty sweat he earned on that hot football field.  Egging me on, Macky sighs with approval, telling me I’m being a good little brother.  His approval makes Andy’s cock dump out a stream of precum, making me moan out in desperation as I hear Macky tell me, “Mmmmmmm yeah, you have to earn the privilege of having my cock in your boycunt.  You gonna show your big bro how much you want it.  Go ahead, show me.”Macky gets off me and lays flat on his back, his shirtless body tantalizing and tempting.  He still has his football cleats and jock strap and football pants, etc. on, so I start by taking off his cleats and socks, getting smacked by a manly odor so strong I feel like I just got punched by a comic book villain named testosterone.  I can’t help but lick all over these grimy feet, making Macky squirm as I clean his ticklish feet for him.  I finally get up to the toes, using Andy’s mouth to suck each one individually until I’m sure there is no trace of his manly filth left.   I can’t help it anymore and strip off the rest of Andy’s clothes, wanting to show off my body to Macky and gain his approval.  As I finally get my tight compressions off (a difficult task with an erection this hard) Macky looks at me with a twisted mix of adoration and dominance.  Just that one look from him makes another drop of precum ooze out of Andy’s cock, making me go into a frenzy as I try to gain Macky’s approval so he’ll finally let my virgin boycunt be full of his 8 inch man meat.  I grab both waistbands, his shorts and his jockstrap, and I pull them down off his legs in one smooth motion before I toss them across the room.  Macky’s cock pops out and smacks his abs, making a pop sound that almost echoes through the room, eliciting a giggle from him that instantly morphs into a moan as I grab his cock with his little brother’s hand and begin pumping him with a tight and purposeful grip.  “Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Andy, little bro, you’re a good little boycunt.  Keep showing me how much you want it.  Prove yourself to meEEEEEEEEEE- Oh FUCK!” Macky shouts as I keep pumping him while also using my tongue to gently and tantalizingly lap up the precum oozing out of his dick, setting off a firestorm of sensation through that fat cock head.  Macky begins thrusting into my pumping grip, hollering out as I keep flicking his cockhead with my tongue, teasing his cock and making him more and more frustrated as he wishes for nothing else than to feel full satisfaction for his wet with precum cock.  Finally roaring in frustration from my tease, which was just what I wanted, he gets up and roughly flips me onto my back, spreading my legs forcefully as he yells at me, “Oh I know exactly what you’re doing, little bro!  A little boycunt like yours is desperate to be full of big bro’s cock.  Well let’s see how you like a tease!” He says as he lowers his head between my thighs and takes in the boyish odor of my virgin hole, tightly licking rings around it, making my thighs literally convulse with anticipation and desire.  I gasp when he finally places the tip of his tongue right on the middle of Andy’s perky rose bud and slowwwwwlllllly begins forcing his tongue inside me.  “Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Mackyyyyyyyyyy” I can’t help but groan as he begins swirling inside me, getting me lubed and slick for his fat cock.  I grab Andy’s sensitive nipples and keep moaning out in longing and desire as I muse to myself how earth-shattering it is that this moment has finally arrived.  “Yeah keep moaning for me, you whore!  Your boycunt fucking loves it!” Macky grunts before thrusting his tongue back inside me, making me yelp and making my hole clamp down on his tongue so tight that he struggles to pull his tongue out of me.  “Damn, Andy.  You must really want it.  Show me how much you fucking want this cock,” Macky commands as he taunts me with that hard cock, playfully slapping my balls with it before circling it around my tight virgin hole, making me try to thrust against him in the hopes that maybe I can spear Andy’s virgin hole at least with Macky’s thick cock head.  “Oh you’re not ready for this meat yet, little bro.  Show me how much you want it.  Get yourself read for me!”“Yes Macky!  I’m sorry, Macky!  You’re too big for a virgin hole like mine” I gasp as I begin shoving Andy’s fingers into his virgin hole for the first time.  OOOOOHHHHHH FUCK ANDY IS TIGHT! Even though Macky loosened me up a bit with his tongue it still takes all I’ve got just to get a single finger all the way inside.  I sigh with relief as I finally get the finger inside me all the way to the base of my hand, and then I groan in pain as I try to gently pull the finger in random directions, hopefully stretching this hole enough to make room for another finger.  “You gotta do better than that if you want THIS inside you!” Macky shouts as he pumps his hard meat, enjoying the show.  “Right now, you better slide two fingers in easily into your whore virgin ass or you won’t get to feel me sliding inside you!”“Noooooooo I need your cock inside me!” I desperately respond.  “I can do it, Macky.  Your little brother cock whore can impress you and win the privilege of feeling you inside me!  Let me prove it!”Using all of my willpower and my immense and absolute control over Andy’s body, I try with all my might to relax Andy’s sphincters and ass muscles as I slide two fingers in all the way, gasping a huge breath and a sigh of relief as I get them in all the way until the top of my palm is jabbing against my hole.   “Fuckkkk yeahhhhh” Macky says with wide eyes and a predatory hunger as he watches me moan and squirm from the delight of finger fucking Andy’s tight hole.  I open my eyes and see him approaching me, finally willing to give me what I need, so I pull my fingers out and grab at his bed sheets as I wait for what’s coming.  “Unnnnnngggggggg OH MACKY!” I yell as he slowly forces the head of his cock inside my tight virgin hole.  Holy Shit!  I still don’t think I was ready for this!  But it feels so good to finally be filled!  Macky slowly pushes deeper and deeper inside me, using his strong hips to push, inch after inch.  The feeling of his thick cock stretching Andy’s deep insides is surreal!  And the feeling of Andy’s tight ass squeezing onto Macky’s cock as he just keeps pushing in is making me grip at those sheets and yelp out in Andy’s voice, “Oh my GOD!  Macky you’re so BIG!!!! UNnnnNNNNNGGGGG!!!!”   I thrash my head around a bit and squirm from head to toe as Macky finally leans down, sweaty chest on my chest as he grunts and thrusts the last two inches in HARD.  I see just white for a second as I blank out, overwhelmed by Macky’s 8 inches fully inside me, feeling completely full and penetrated.  And even though he’s giving me a chance to get used to his cock, he’s still moving his hips around in a swirly motion, making his fully plugged cock rotate and rub all the nerve endings so deep inside me I could never dream of reaching them on my own.  I wrap my legs around his strong ass and pull him tightly into me, grunting as Macky shoves his tongue back into my mouth and begins pulling his cock out.  The feeling of his cock leaving me and scraping against my nerve endings makes me feel both incomplete and hallucinatory, but then:“Ohhhhhhhhhhh FUCK!” I scream as Macky thrusts back into me in one hard, fast, motion, completely filling me up and making my back involuntarily arch.  “You FUCKING LOVE IT!” Macky hollers has he pumps his cock into my hungry hole, grunting as he pushes my legs up and wraps his arms around me, making it easier to fill me up.  “OHHHHHHH!!!    I” *THRUST* “FUCKING” *THRUST* *LOVE” *THRUST THRUST THRUST!!!!* “IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UNNNNNGGGGGGAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”I reach a hand and caress Macky’s back, helplessly pummelled underneath Macky’s strong body as he pumps in and out of my hole, talking so dirty to me and finally making me feel loved.  “Fuck yeah, Andy!  You’ve got such a nice tight hole.  FUCKING TAKE THIS SHIT!  TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU FUCKING LOVE IT!  YOU LOVE HAVING BIG BRO’S COCK INSIDE YOU!”“OH MACKY!  MY TIGHT HOLE FUCKING LOVE’S YOUR BIG BRO COCK!  UGHHHHH MMMMMMMMMMM PLEASE!!!  PLEASE FUCK ME HARDER-OH! FUCK MMMMM YEAH!!!!!”“SUCH” *THRUST* “A NICE” *THRUST THRUST* “BOYCUNT!  UNGGGGGGYEAH TAKE THAT DICK!” *THRUST THRUST THRUST THRUST THRUST THRUST!!!!!!!!* “MACKY!!! THANK YOU, MACKY!” I holler in joy as I see the look of ecstasy in his face before he leans back down and buries his face in my neck, giving my hickey a hickey as he uses his hands to rub up and down my smooth and toned body, making special attention to my developing pecs as he grabs that lean muscle and squeezes, using his thumbs to flick my nipples.  This continues for almost half an hour, leaving me borderline hallucinogenic, when Macky finally says, “GET ON ALL FOURS!  I’M GONNA FUCKING CUM!  I’M SO CLOSE, ANDY!  BIG BRO’S GONNA BREED YOUR HOLE LIKE THE BOYCUNT SLUT YOU ARE!”I enthusiastically get on hands and knees as Macky lunges at me, spearing all eight inches inside me in one rough animalistic thrust!“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH” I scream in a shrill voice.“SHUT UP, ANDY!  FUCKING FUCK!  SO CLOSE!  DO YOU WANT THIS LOAD?!  YOU WANT BIG BRO’S HOT CUM FLOODING YOUR INSIDES!”“UNNNNNGGGGGG YES, MACKY!  PLEASE FILL ME WITH YOUR Hot CUM!!!!“I’M GONNA DUMP THIS LOAD IN YOU AND MAKE YOU MINE FOREVER!  THIS-UNNNNNNGGGGYEAH!!!!-THIS HOLE BELONGS TO ME NOW!”“YES MACKY!  MY TIGHT BOYCUNT BELONGS TO YOU NOW!  WHENEVER YOU WANT, MY HOLE IS YOURS!  I’M LUCKY TO RECEIVE YOUR HOT LOADS!” I yell as my face is scrunched up in overwhelming pain and pleasure.  I use my ass muscles to try to milk the cum right out of Macky’s cock, so desperate to be filled, but Macky just grabs on to me tightly and says, “NOT YET!”Fuck!  I feel my balls tightening.  I just can’t take it anymore!  The feeling of Macky filling up Andy’s hole and the satisfaction it brings me!  I start breathing deeply, grunting and moaning as the pressure builds.  But Macky can sense this; he grabs me by my throat and turns my head around as he tells me, “You don’t have big bro’s permission!”I clench tightly, holding back this orgasm as he keeps thrusting inside me, sliding his cock against all my stretched out muscles and nerve endings and pounding that abused prostate!  Oh FUCK!!! THIS IS SO HARD!  I NEED TO CUM OH GOD I NEED TO CUM!“PLEASE MACKY!” I wail with desperation.  The force of my effort to clench this orgasm inside is making my abs and groin feel like they’re going to rip into shreds.  I scream in agony as the pressure keeps building, refusing to be subdued by me.  I make a fist and desperately start pounding the bed as Macky keeps using his strong hips and abs to slide his meat in my smaller body, hovering over me in a display of ownership and dominion.  “MACKY PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!” I scream as tears begin streaming down my face.“OH, ANDY! HERE IT COMES!   HERE-UNNNGGGG-IT FUCKING-OH SHIT-CUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMSSSSSSSSSS!” Macky roars as he finally grabs onto me and pulls me so tight into his final thrust that I think our bodies might merge.  He digs that cock deeper and harder than ever before as a flood of cum explodes out of his cock, making my hole feel warm and full as he keeps grunting, fucking ropes and ropes of cum into my satisfied boycunt.  “OHHHHH FUCK!” Macky yells as he looks down and sees that he’s cumming so much that each thrust is squeezing previous cum out of my flooded hole, making room for the next load that shoots out of his orgasmic cock.  I Finally let go and I can’t even describe what I feel as my untouched cock finally gets sweet sweet relief.  I just pass the fuck out!I wake up several hours later, or at least I think it’s several hours later.  It’s dark in Macky’s room now, so I’m guessing it’s night time.  I’m still pinned down comfortably on my stomach as his larger and more muscular body is passed out on top of me.  His cock is soft now, but it’s big enough that it’s still plugged inside me, bringing me a sense of comfort and safety as I drift back to sleep, a smile plastered on my face as Macky’s light snoring serves as my lullaby.  I briefly have a flashback to the game we went to together just two short days ago when I first started making my move.  Oh how far we’ve come (and cum) since then.��I love you, Macky,” are my last words right before I close Andy’s eyes, finally happy that I have the perfect life.

[warlordess]

Usagi & Darien/Mamoru

Okay so this one was a doozy and I’m actually kinda excited about having the opportunity to answer about this ship.

I have a long, sordid (notreally) past with Sailor Moon. It was my first exposure to anime and quite possibly to shipping back when I was 7-8 years old. All that being said, when it comes to this ship, it’s been quite a wild ride.

When I was very young and the 90′s anime was dubbed into English (that’s right, I watched the DiC dub; come at me, bro), I liked the ship. I mean, I had about .05% self-awareness and perception and it was just… right there, obviously canon, can’t really be ignored so yeah, I shipped it. I also didn’t mind the dynamic too much wherein the characters fought a lot but probably (definitely) started caring about each other. It did feel like the 90′s anime was relying on/pushing the “destined lovers” trope too far in order to make the ship seem genuine but that may have been the dub. It felt like Serena and Darien (since i’m talking about the dub, I might as well use their dub names here) were just barely starting to turn a corner when Zoy(i)cite (lol) forced them to reveal their alter-egos and caused Tuxedo Mask to sacrifice himself, leading to the reveal of the moon princess and the seven rainbow crystals reforming into the silver crystal…

Anyway, at around 11 years old, my mom let me choose my own Christmas presents and I went on Amazon and found these awesome, pretty Sailor Moon books. I was so freaking excited when she let me pick a couple to buy. Having no knowledge of manga/comics, I picked books 1 and 4 (I don’t remember if I knew they had numbers or if I just picked two different books) and was surprised to learn they were -gasp!- not actual books but comics… but the art was so lovely and the story was so edgy compared to the somewhat gag-humor-riddled anime. Not to mention, Bunny and Darien (switching names a bit because manga opinion) appeared to develop both independently and romantically in a much more organic way, which I appreciated even at that young age. Bunny was very courageous despite her fears, she threw herself at Tuxedo Mask (who she knew was Darien by that time) and kissed him, telling him to run away and stay safe while she battled Kunzite, and she surprised and encouraged him to protect her as well. I just… really adored that.

Then, by the time I was 14, I hit my “rebellious shipper” phase. (I should  mention that part of this is due also to outside influences convincing me this ship was no good, and my not wanting to ruin the two or so friendships I had formed over this series.) I decided, nah, Bunny x Darien (or now that the internet was a more widely-spread thing and the sources were easier to find, Usagi x Mamoru) were… what? Too boring? Too obvious? Why not ship her with someone more powerful or something? I dunno. For a while, I had a soft spot for Prince Diamond/Demande (this is due only to the 90′s anime giving him redemption, which I was grateful to the series for introducing me to as well… redemption arcs are where it’s at, dudes~), then I remember continuing to read the manga and gettin’ real excited about Haruka kissing Bunny… but of course I shipped Haruka with Michiru so finally I landed on the somehow-so-explicit-it-ended-up-never-being-dubbed Stars arc character, Seiya.

A part of me still ships UsaSeiya, and as an adult I’ve learned to appreciate Usagi’s relationships with Minako and Rei in a romantic light as well… But with adult eyes and an adult brain, I go back to UsaMamo and I recognize just how well they fit together; what a wonderful, mutual relationship they have, just how much they’re willing to sacrifice for and support each other.

Mamoru is unexpectedly like Eugene Fitzherber/Flynn Rider, or perhaps it’s the other way around. I remember when Tangled came out and the question of “Why is this male love interest so popular with female fans?” was circulating and someone said it was because Disney interviewed girls/women when they were cultivating the character in order to create someone with traits that would genuinely be found attractive to a woman. Mamoru was created by a woman who wanted to create a love interest/story that girls and women would adore and find passion in… and Naoko Takeuchi nailed it.

Btw, if anyone is wondering, no I don’t buy in to the pedo argument. :-/ Wtf dudes.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 050: Hunting Down Villains

Previously on BnHA: Deku and Gran Torino had a fierce fucking fight, during which Deku successfully utilized One for All LIKE A MAN, bouncing all over the damn place and increasing his body’s strength and speed. It was very badass, and he even managed to graze Torino’s cheek, although he was tired out afterward. Over at the Villain Bar, Stain rassled with Tomura and lightly stabbed him a bit to test his mettle, and apparently he was impressed enough to hold off on killing him for now. Then he headed back to Hosu, presumably to fuck up Iida’s shit ffffff.

Today on BnHA: Deku and Gran Torino hop on a bullet train trip to do some training in the city. Iida’s field training mentor Manual warns him not to try anything stupid like hunting down the guy who maimed his brother. Stain and Tomura arrive in Hosu. Tomura is annoyed and craving some mayhem, so he goes and summons THREE FUCKING NOUMUS to go wreck some shit. Deku and Gran’s train is attacked by one and Gran flies off to fight it. Iida spots Stain about to kill a dude in an alley and ignores everything Manual said and goes to confront him, announcing that he’s the hero who’s come to take down Stain in his brother’s stead: Ingenium.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 123 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

apparently we’re already on day 3 of the internship! we’re also just about a quarter of the way through the whole series now which is also cool!

this chapter is titled “Kill ‘Em Dead” so. that promises to be fun

looks like Deku has gotten his ass kicked again. but he wants to keep going!

“time for phase two... the actual internship!” oh yeah, that. I was wondering if he was ever going to actually do something hero-related. he hasn’t gotten much in the way of practical day-to-day experience thus far

off they go to hunt down some villains

bad villains, really bad villains, talkative villains, mysterious villains, fabulous villains, lame villains, surprise villains, tragic villains... there are a lot

Deku doesn’t think his heart is ready for this. even though he already fought like three of the worst ones out there

even Gran points that out, and says this won’t even come close to how bad that was. well, good

(ETA: this just goes to show that YOU CAN’T SEE THE FUCKING FUTURE, GRAN TORINO)

apparently there isn’t enough crime in this quiet neighborhood, so they’re taking a taxi and then the bullet train

there’s a whole map explaining where they are in Japan, and I’m ashamed that I don’t know enough about the geography of Japan for it to mean much to me. I do know that Shibuya, where they’re headed, is basically the Times Square of Tokyo, though

apparently they’ll be passing through Hosu on their way, which gets Deku thinking about Iida again

he’s thinking to himself that maybe he’ll get in touch with him later, so clearly something terrible is about to happen

“meanwhile in Hosu City” oh lord. bracing myself

the guy Iida’s interning with is apologizing that things aren’t more exciting. but Iida says it’s better that way

because this guy was not, in fact, born yesterday, he finally asks Iida if he’s after the Hero Killer. since it’s pretty obvious that this kid, who recently tied for third place in the sports festival and is the younger brother of a bigshot like Ingenium, probably had a few more exciting prospects than his little agency

he’s telling Iida not to be motivated by personal grudges. I’m sure Iida will take all this to heart and drop the whole thing immediately

actually that’s interesting to hear that they don’t have authority to make arrests. basically they just capture the bad guys and then let the cops and the courts deal with it from there

(ETA: although the way this rule is applied at the end of this arc is frankly mind-boggling to me. it should have been “thank you, children, for apprehending this serial killer who’s been terrorizing the country, and for saving Apache Chief’s life. we’re incredibly grateful to you and so very sorry that we fucked up so badly our own selves so as to make your actions necessary to begin with.” but nooooo, they get chewed out for having the fucking gall to take action in a life or death situation. and they’re told their actions can’t ever be made public or else they’d have to be punished since they broke! the! rules!! oh gosh. really the cops just didn’t want to deal with this on top of everything else and this was the laziest way they could sweep it under the rug.

sorry for that impromptu rant lol.)

Iida says he appreciates the warning. like I said,this gives me a ton of confidence that he’ll just go ahead and let this go

he is staring off into the sunset and clenching his fist

this kid got bitten by the vengeance bug real bad

now we’re back on top of that water tower where Kurogiri first met up with Stain

for whatever reason, Tomura has decided to tag along

“sacrifices” oh lord

Stain says the title of “hero” should be reserved for only the truly great, and that too many of them are just in it for the money and are undeserving

(ETA: Stain’s Annoying Rant Counter: 4)

now he’s jumping off, presumably to go kill some more of those money-grubbing heroes

as soon as he’s out of earshot Tomura immediately starts dissing him

(ETA: it’s amazing how much I sympathize with Tomura in this arc)

but Kuro says the other cities Stain has appeared in have actually seen drops in their crime rate, and that it seems to tie in with “an increase in hero awareness”

Tomura’s like, great, isn’t that the exact opposite of what we, the evil villains, are shooting for

and he wants Kuro to bring out Noumu so they can go on their own rampage

wtf. Noumu who’s supposed to be in police custody right now?

yeep

oh my god, fuck you and your s-less plurals you stupid misleading sneaky Japanese language

so these guys just have Noumus by the barrel, just lying in wait ready to be used at a moment’s notice, then??

THREE FUCKING NOUMUS

one of the Noumus has FOUR FUCKING EYES because WHY NOT

so basically these guys are their fucking Sentinels

back to Deku and Gran on the train!

it’s going to be nighttime by the time they make it to Shibuya. awesome. Gran is happy because there should be more crime to put a stop to now

oh my god Deku is waiting for Iida to reply to his text. omg. I’m having a “millennial reads a gen z manga for the first time” moment once again

FIRST OF ALL, I didn’t post the panel right before this, but basically Gran is like, “ON YOUR PHONE AGAIN?! KIDS THESE DAYS,” and OH MY GOD. GRAN IS LITERALLY NINETY PERCENT OF ALL BABY BOOMERS I’VE EVER MET

SECOND, DEKU HAS HIS READ RECEIPTS ON BECAUSE HE DOESN’T TRUST HIS FLAKY CELLULAR NETWORK

THIRD, HE HAS A PICTURE OF ALL MIGHT AS HIS OWN TEXT AVATAR, I AM FUCKING DONE. FOREVER!!

also, Iida read that shit and didn’t say a damn thing. that’s some shady fucking shit, Iida. up to no good

(ETA: I would also like to take this opportunity to complain about this translation, because in this version Deku has abbreviated the word “you” as “u” and ARE YOU KIDDING ME Deku would never)

oh shit they’re making an emergency stop

IS IT VILLAINS, IS THE TRAIN BEING ATTACKED

...okay yeah, I would say that is a yes.

yep. same

oh SHIT, it’s the Noumus. of fucking course they got those guys rather than Stain

so Deku immediately recognizes the familiar exposed-brains-and-vacant-expressions aesthetic, but before he can do anything, Gran shouts at him to stay put. and now he’s springing off into action

fucking shit. even All Might was only just barely able to beat the last Noumu, and that was with him using his full power and then some

oh shit the train hasn’t stopped yet!

shiiiiit

DAMMIT GRAN YOU SAID THIS WOULDN’T BE AS BAD AS LAST TIME

so now Deku, looking out at the city which is aflame, realizes that they’re still in Hosu, and...

and now we’re cutting back to Iida and his pal. and his pal is telling him to get a move on and that they need to head toward the scene, but all of Iida’s attention seems to have become focused on this random dark alley nearby, and now he’s taking off in that direction

(ETA: what a fucking coincidence though that Stain just happens to be in the alley right next to them though. like, come on)

and it’s Stain... he’s looking towards the explosions? presumably? and complaining to himself that “that idiot” is being too flashy

so the explosions were what was drawing the attention of Iida’s hero pal, but Iida himself probably saw this guy. and just ran over without thinking

I mean, Stain’s clearly about to end this guy though

the poor hero dude apparently can’t move. just like Kurogiri in the last chapter

and Iida’s appearing in the frame behind Stain now

oh godddd

!!

GHKHHKHFKH

LOOK AT THAT. GLASSES CAME FLYING RIGHT OFF. WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY EARLIER

now Stain is asking Iida who he is. does Stain not watch the U.A. Sports Festival broadcast along with the rest of the country

wow he’s telling Iida to leave

I left out “honorable villain” from my previous list of villain types, but this guy increasingly seems to fall under that category

(ETA: nope, already had him covered under “talkative villain”)

hoh boy Iida has his rage face on

but while he’s busy being dramatic, Stain cuts him off and points his katana right in his fucking face omg

he says he can tell from his eyes that he’s out for revenge. OH CAN YOU. YOU DON’T SAY. THOSE EYES, REALLY? THEY’RE SO FRIENDLY THOUGH

“watch your mouth or your age won’t be enough to save you”

I didn’t mention this before because I was too caught up in everything, but Stain must be the first ever person in history to look at Iida fucking Tenya and immediately think, “child”

maybe it’s the lack of glasses. if Iida still had his glasses on he’d have immediately been pegged as forty and would now be fucking dead

now Iida’s pissed off all over again because Stain doesn’t consider him a threat

look at this fucking monologue

IS HE GONNA TAKE HIS BRO’S NAME AFTER ALL OMG

HE TOOK HIS BRO’S NAME

and Stain is all “oh really? time to die then”

and the chapter ends

why are heroes so brave and stupid

BONUS:

oh cool, I think this is Iida’s hero pal and I was wondering what his name was

“Manual” omg. like manual as in training manual? instruction manual?

“favorite things: equilibrium.” favorite color: beige. favorite food: oatmeal. favorite musician: phil collins

I actually love him now and I hope we get to see him more and that he somehow manages not to become collateral damage during this arc

[xtswifts]

in all my years on tumblr, this is still one of my favorite gifs of tay in existence, so i shall use it now on my mega ooc appreciation post.

i am still on hiatus — it has been a ROUGH 36 hours my dudes — but i did want to drop in and post some ic/ooc appreciation things while this week is still here because i am all in the business of sharing the love. it’s one of the many reasons i absolutely adore this group. this group has always been about love, for me, and would probably be the singular word i’d use to describe my experience here.

i joined this lovely bunch back in july, i do believe? i had actually just finished up writing and self-publishing my third book which wound up being a behemoth (seriously it was a lot) and while i was absolutely and completely braindead when it came to writing, i still wanted to write. i’m a writer. that’s who i am and that’s who i’ll always be. i wanted something a lot more low-stakes, kind of go-with-the-flow, no real pressure and more collaborative than the isolating fun of novel-writing, so i turned back to roleplay. hollywood rps have always been my absolute favorites in the rpc for whatever reason; i have such fond memories in hollywood groups and it’s a fun and creative way for me to just project the love i have for my faves. after a few experiences in groups during late 2017 and early 2018 i was pretty sure that i was done with roleplay. it just wasn’t the same for me, no matter where i went. priorities had shifted and it was no longer about writing because you loved to write. but, me being ever the optimist, i decided to dive back into the tags and see what was still around or had recently popped up. i found this group and i saw that they had just had a taylor swift removed from the group, and hi hello nice to meet you i am taylor swift trash no. 1!!!, i felt like it was all Meant To Be or something like that (plus, she was taken in every other group and that’s who i really wanted to put a hand at writing). so i put in an app for her, got accepted, and i have been plaguing your dashes ever since :~))

in the four-ish months that i have been here, so much has happened in my life. i started my (outrageously stressful) junior year of college, i lost my grandma, i went to go see queen swift in atlanta and meet my baby princess camila, i have had major friend complications and doubts about my career track and i have had just really boring, empty days where everything was going seemingly okay. this group has been there for me through every high, low, and in between. this group has been my escape to run to when i’m stressed or up late at night and can’t sleep or just really looking to be social or want to write something. this group has been so welcoming, warm, and fun; i have had the opportunity to explore my character any which way that i please and form awesome plots with people, and even more awesome friendships ooc. some of you send really, really kind things my way which, fyi, i’m super grateful for and have probably cried over because this was the first time i not only felt welcomed in a group as taylor, but felt welcomed in a group as me. i am so grateful that i get to call this place my internet home and there is absolutely nowhere else i would rather be spending my free time writing. i stand by what i say: this is the best group in the tags, hands down. you could not ask for a more inclusive, diverse, welcoming, creative playground to spend your time on. to all the lovely admins over on main @hollywoodfamerp​ thank you for doing the heavy lifting and giving us a safe and warm place that we can call home. the work you do never goes unnoticed. you are appreciated and you are so, so loved. ♡  

some ~personal~ shoutouts:

@nhxran​ — peyton, you are without a doubt one of my best friends both in this group and just in general. we had an immediate chemistry as writing partners from that very first starter reply and nothing about that has changed. you are the writing partner i always hoped i would find in a group due to how generous you are in every reply, the way you are willing to headcanon and brainstorm (even at the craziest of hours) and i still remain in awe of you as a roleplayer with the way you juggle such diverse characters, all of which have their prominent voices that never seem to overlap. you are the roleplayer i wish i could be. even though we might sometimes be ships in the night ic, ooc i know that you are always there and you always have my back, and i truly hope you know that the same goes for you. i love you, you intelligent, creative, witty, beautiful, heart-of-gold woman you. i would not have stayed in this group if i had not met you. you are one of my favorite people, period. thank you for being one of my dearest friends.

@cara-x-delevingne​ — mickey, the first person to ever pop into my ims and say hello (and you were FAST about it too, lol), you have been one of my favorite people to write with! the way you breathe a life into your characters is almost unparalleled to any writer, much less any writer in a hwood group. you have such a talent and not only that, you are funny and kind and inclusive and i am so glad that there are people like you (and you) still out there in this world. we need more people like you. thank you for one of the most epic friendships i’ve ever written in a group and always challenging me to step up to the plate and bring my a-game with taylor. you inspire me and i love you. never change.

@armiehmmer​ — graaaaace, the law to my swift! you were actually one of the reasons i joined this rp; before i joined i stalked a few blogs and as i have told you (and you have probably seen via my wildin’ ass on twitter) i love jen, so much. i saw how dedicated you were to your jen and how included she was, which i thought was amazing because like my girl t, some people just aren’t about. i figured if you could put in the effort and grind hard enough with her and get positive results, i could do the same for taylor. and here we both are, killin’ it. you are such a lovely person who has always been nothing but kind, i am still endlessly jealous you were in pasadena for rep tour but we’ll let it slide for now, lol. i love you, thank you for being the epitome of grace in this roleplay. you’re a pure light and the dash is dimmer without you on it.

@jstntimberfake​ — nicki, or should i say, GOD, i don’t know where to begin with you. you are the reason i almost took home a jt standup from 2nd and charles. i love everything that you do on both of your characters. you become them, they stand so far away from the person that you actually are and i think that is the testament of a true, talented writer: they are able to convince you that they’re someone else. and you do, every time. i’m just really, really happy that i get to say that i’m in the same rp group as you because it makes me feel like a Cool Kid on the playground who has light up sneakers. you are so cool and it sometimes lowkey intimidates me, how amazing and talented you are. thank you for always putting a smile on my face. love ya love ya  

@itsscarjo​ — aria, my magnificent love. you are so well spoken and kind and as my clumsy twin, i have no choice but to love you dearly. it’s so nice to just have somebody to talk to sometimes and every time we’ve talked, it’s like being all bundled up in a warm fuzzy blanket. you are so easy to talk to and i cannot wait for the things you and i do on all of our people now that our lives have calmed the heck down and we can come on and write. thank you for being such a spectacular, inviting person. i had several other people sing your praises to me when you joined the group and i can wholeheartedly agree with them. you are one of a kind. big love

@aubreycplaza​ — marissa, i mcfreakin’ adore you. i’ll be honest, i have not had the best experiences with aubreys in the past but that all goes out the window with you. i’m obsessed with you and all of your people, and to know you and get to write with you is an absolute pleasure. thank you for being so much fun to write with, thank you for giving me so much quality stuff to stalk while i’m on the dash and feeling like trash, thank you for being so understanding of me constantly feeling like trash, i adore you. can’t wait for tay and aubrey to finally go on their fuckin girls trip and become little jetsetters together (forevaaaa)

@jamesrodriqez​ — hello stranger idk you but i think you’re pretty cool! and i think that you have been one of the most entertaining, fun people to write with in these last couple of weeks when i feel like i’m barely able to write two sentences that haven’t been written onto a powerpoint that i’m copying off of. you just give me so much excitement about writing and plotting and that excitement is something that can be difficult to find again after you’ve gotten comfortable in a group. thank you for keeping things refreshing and new for me and taylor. i’m excited to get back to all of our fun shenanigans (and to love on your new people bc yes amen) #jandrea forever

@jarpadking​ — nikki! first of all, i’m in awe at how fast you can come up with replies on TWO characters that are so well-crafted and authentic to that person’s voice. i struggle just writing a single coherent reply on taylor half the time, lmao. you are one of the hearts in this group, the way you make it an effort to branch out and talk to every single person and create connections with both the mun and the character. you’re one of the unsung heroes and if we could all be a little more you like you, we’d be the best roleplayers around. love you so much, my dear, and of course, thank you for being so warm and inclusive. people like you are rare

@itskeeoone​ — i have spent all day binging pll because that is how i choose to veg out and every time i see keegan on screen now, i think of you, em. you just write him so wonderfully and truthfully and i don’t ever want to let you go (please don’t ever leave this group or i’ll cry). taylor and keegan have given me all the life, they are very similar people and i’m happy that my 15 year old self’s dreams are coming true by their worlds colliding here in the group. i’m so excited to write even more with you now that the holidays are coming and i’ll actually, y’know, BE AROUND, but yes. love you.

@goddamnjade​ — lucy, you know anybody that is as big into the dance scene as i am HAS to get a spot on this appreciation post ;) but also, you have just been one of the loveliest people ever? i think you’re one of the hearts in this group, the reason that it is why it is and the reason that it’s so warm and welcoming. you are so inclusive and fun to write with and i really hope that i get to talk with you more ooc because i adore youuuu!

@yosebstan​ — rileyyyy, gotta admit, sometimes you intimidate me but it is only because you are an absolute fuckin’ legend in this group, and not just because of your admin status. your characters have something that a lot of people try hard to encompass but can’t ever capture, and that’s longevity. your characters never feel stale, they always feel new and fresh and like real people, not just tropes or over-concentrated personality traits and i get so excited every time i see one of your people on the dash. i’m lucky to be in a group with you, so so lucky. i sometimes hope your natural inclination for rp will rub off on me and make me a better writer. love you, and i really hope we get to do some fun stuff in the future!!

@jpgsasha​ — cami, you and i clicked so fast when we started replying to each other’s stuff back when you still had camila and i cannot WAIT to write with you as my honey sasha (seriously, a fuckin’ plus switch). we had some of the LONGEST replies on the dash at one point but when you’re inspired, you’re inspired! thank you for inspiring me and being one of the most down to earth people in this group. you deserve all the fuckin’ love. please love me so i can give it to you.

@avycias​​ — katieeee!! it legit surprised me to find out how close we are to one another #hurricane watch friends, lol. you are so sweet and your alycia is absolutely legendary, i was biting at the bit to write with you from the minute i joined this group. i hope we get to do all of the things with taylor and alycia because writing with you makes me so happy. you are wildly talented and the way alycia comes to life every time you type something is magical. you write her with a conviction and you make her your own and i think that’s why i adore her so much. thank you for being you. love you much babes

@milesdominic​ — marie! miles and taylor had one of the cutest friendships ever and it needs to make a comeback asap, because 1) that, and 2) writing with you comes so naturally (*plays naturally by selena gomez and the scene*). i barely have to think about what i want to reply to you with because there’s a chemistry there that is hard to replicate; thank you for keeping me on my toes and my brain alert and being such a fun person to write with. you give me the chance to explore sides of taylor’s voice that other people look over and that i love, and that’s all anybody could ask in a writing partner, someone who allows them to run wild!

@blccmtroye​  — fiona, i fuckin’ love your troye. he is too much fun to interact with, and i am thankful that you gave this group a shot (and that you gave me a shot). i couldn’t imagine this place without the wit and the charm that you supply with every single post you make.

@flynnpls​ — marie, i’m just in love with all of your people and you. you’re one of the people i feel like i admire from afar because i stay in awe of the way you write and how effortless it seems to come to you. you balance all of these different personalities with finesse and i really do feel like i’m talking to or reading the words of the actual celebrity in every single reply. i am crossing my fingers that i get the opportunity to write some really incredible things with you here in the future because i have such mad respect for you.

+ to everyone else that i either forgot to mention, have not really formed connections with outside of replies or haven’t had the chance to talk to you/your babies due to my super fun hiatus: i stalk so many of you on the dash and keep up with your plots and where you take your characters and it really and truly is such a privilege to be in the same group as you. they say that birds of a feather flock together and if that’s the case, i am simply a reflection of all the things y’all are. kind, funny, clever, creative, welcoming, intelligent, and a part of something, and i could not ask for more. i love all of you, whether we’ve talked or not (believe me i probably stalk you and just love you from afar) and any time you ever need a friend, call me beep meeeeee. i’m always game to do things with taylor and explore her more through whatever plots or connections we could create, and i promise that if i don’t respond to an im, it’s because i’m off on hiatus or it got eaten. i want to do ALL the things with ALL of you. come hit me up! let me love you! k thanks!!!

obligatory thank you note to my queen taylor alison for existing. love u bitch.

xx, caroline

[lxvechauncey]

Thank yous

Ay, first and foremost I gotta thank God you feel me, for every single blessing and lesson and opportunity that has lead to this release. 2018 was the most beautiful year and I'm beyond grateful and that's an understatement. You are an amazing God and I don't have enough mouths to thank you enough. But thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you, anyway!

So, before I get into this, I think it should be known that although I'm from NY, this EP belongs to Chicago. Cj's from Northside, he did the beats. Gary is from Southside, he shot the Trombone cover. Josh is from North Shore, he's the voice of Clyde that you hear on the skit. LaurenSpinz is from Southside, I'm wearing her bracelets on the cover. Since Hardball, the Chi has always held a special place in my heart, so it feels good to be able to come full circle with No Trap, No Fear.

To Cj TheFlii: My fuckin' guy, the energy that you possess in a single studio session is unmatched. You're a pure individual with exceptional talent. Don't ever lose that geniuine love in ya heart, and keep grinding. You're literally one few producers I know really really working. I'm already proud, but I'm excited to see what God has in store for you.

To Dynasty: Bro, what a ride. First of all you are the one of the realest niggas in LA. Your focus and drive is inspiring and the fact that you really care. No, REALLY care, beyond this music shit, is your biggest attribute. Don't ever change a thing. Don't ever stop showing these artists what a real manager looks like. Thank you for everything, let's keep goin'!

To Joel: Boyyyy you know how to work a camera, let me tell you! We've become so close over the past couple years, I'm truly blessed to know you and call you family. We shot this album cover in 28 minutes, in real cold weather with props and everything and all I did was show you the American Gangster cover and say "I wanna look like Hov" lmao. Your vision is impeccable. I love you, bro.

To my beloved Daishaundra: My sunshine, this is your album too, shorty. There would be no Chauncey Bass without the love of my life to sing to. You are so necessary, you are so brilliant, you are so awesome. Thank you for being my executive producer, in the literal sense. Thank you for teaching me how to love unconditionally. Thank you for sharing your light with me; the brightest light, my God. Thank you for deeming me worthy and thank you for co-writing the best love story I've ever told and helping me make the best cluster of songs I've ever created and I cannot wait to sing beautiful duets with you to our little SuperNova. We made a Baby Blue!!! I love you. I love you, I love you. Word is bond, you my nigga.

Real quick tho... Ma, I love you. Dad, I love you. EZRA I LOVE YOU, you amazing little man I miss you so much I can't wait to show you everything mamaDai and I have planned for you. Rej, my borough brother, I love you! Yel, Topp, Nobi I can't even express, yo. I thank God everyday to be surrounded around such TRULY incredible people and call y'all my siblings. Not to mention y'all make FIIIRE music omg. Gary, I said your name earlier but you're an amazing man don't ever let nobody tell you you're not! All my Brotherhood dudes!! Thank God for y'all; Jonathan Tillman, I love you dog! Derrick Jasmin I love you, dog! Damn, this shit long as hell my bad for the novel. All my SHPLFTD people!!!!! Omg your support is so amazing, thank you all; everyone mentioned in this shit, thank you all for existing. You mean the world to me.

LOVE ONE ANOTHER! STOP HOLDING IN POSITIVE ENERGY! LET GO OF NEGATIVE, TOXIC ENERGY THE WORLD NEEDS LOVE, THE WORLD NEEDS PRAYER AND PRAYER WORKS. AIGHT?! WORD UP

Live life in this order: first you Bless Up, then go head and Act Up.

Surf's Up! 🤙🏾

lxve, Chin Chop

[nastymeowmeow]

So Friday nights have become my unofficial Magic nights with my little group of friends and tonight they invited one of their old friends over to play and he brought a draft cube that he has been building for 10 years and it was fucking insane. There were 8 of us and we all drafted and played against each other in two pods of 4 and I built a killer deck in colors that nobody else cared for and my pod's game lasted 4 hours. I killed off two of the players and for a solid hour it was just me vs. one dude. I came in second, but it was so fun!

What's even crazier was the total value of all of the cards in this draft cube was estimated to be worth $32,000. All of us were so grateful and excited and happy to be able to have such an awesome opportunity to play with super fancy expensive shiny foil and fancy art cards. It was a fucking blast. I wish Autumn could have been there, she would have lost her shit and I bet she would have had a lot of fun.

She reached out to my friend to ask if she could join, but wanted to make sure I was okay with it and when I told him he could invite her (I just wouldn't attend if she would be there) she just poofed and stopped replying to him. They were sad that she ended up not going on the nights that I wouldn't be there because they were looking forward to having another Magic player.

I really want to text her and tell her she should go next time they have a draft cube night, but I'm still not ready to break that barrier and it would be weird to just message her randomly, tell her to hang out with my friends, and then dip out. Plus I don't know how she would feel being around a bunch of random dudes by herself in a house she isn't familiar with.

I really do miss doing Magic stuff with her, but I'm a giant baby and I'm still not over her. It has gotten easier though. I'm not as sad anymore and I don't get anxiety or depression and I'm not angry at myself anymore. Still sad, but I'm doing better. It helps to have good friends to support me when I'm being weak.

Anyways.

Nerd rant over. I had a great fucking night.