#really strong feelings

[krillium]

Having Thoughts once more about Jon and Martin, especially Jon. I think Jon fell in love with Martin around S2-S3 AND that he never really hated him. I'm not going to say he didn't bully him without justification because he did. What I'm going to say is why he did it.

When I was six-seven, I was heavily bullied. In this context, I targeted another student. I'm not proud of this, but it's something I did, so I have to accept it happened. I didn't hate her, not really. We just had some sort of rivalry that I took too far.

I believe Jon was in a somewhat similar situation. He didn't hate Martin per se, he probably just felt inferior due to all the teasing and challenges to his authority of Tim and Sasha who were supposed to be his friends. I don't think either of them did it with malicious intentions but Tim was the popular kind of guy and that type of people hurt the weird kids without realising. What for Tim was light-hearted teasing, for Jon was a way of losing control and he probably felt made fun of. So in order to feel in charge... There was Martin.

This is just an explanation, not a justification whatsoever. That's not a good way to deal with that situation. What he did was wrong. Completely wrong and cruel. Most bullies have been bullied before and that doesn't justify anything.

So he didn't really believe what he said, I don't think he even knew Martin would hear those tapes. And that brings us to Martin's statement. There, he tried to stop Martin, probably to protect him from the nightmares (by this point he had taken at least one live statement, but he hadn't taken any from his assistants). Which is not an act of love, but of bare human decency. But he also let him his cot. That's also not an act of love, but a boss being nice and caring while still being a boss.

Then there is a shift after the confrontation in S2, there, he starts to appreciate what Martin does and it's somewhat proud of him. That's when he must have started to fall in love with him. Because Georgie recognised Martin with only the description that Jon gave her. Also, why else would Georgie tell Jon to talk to Martin?

Some argue that Martin said they only bonded by trauma and Jon didn't correct him. Well, are you really going to believe the supernaturally depressed character and the incapable of expressing his emotions character about... Emotions? Yeah, sorry, no, I don't think they're right. I'm not saying they didn't bond over trauma because it just isn't true, but they could have bonded over other things. More slowly, probably, but they would.

Ah, almost forgot. The Martin and Elias conversation. Elias didn't have any material of Jon being actually terrible, in fact, any extra information would have proven otherwise. That's one of the reasons he didn't do that. Also, Martin's mother was more important to Martin than his crush on Jon, so there's also that.

Jon was terrible, but not due to hate. And he did get better. Also, Jon did mean the "let's gouge our eyes out and leave this hell" conversation. He was desperate for an excuse to just leave. And he would have. He let Jared take two ribs from him just to save Daisy. Do you really think he wouldn't do anything just as crazy for Martin?

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[araneapeixes]

in the bathroom at the gay clubbbb

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

finally at that age where i'm thinking i should get a tattoo. not bc i feel strongly about it, just seems like a waste not to. i've got so much skin i'm not using

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Laios's three Boy Best Friends. And yes, they hate him.

[formulaaone]

Logan’s panicked voice when he crashed then asking Gaetan if he did something wrong is going to stay with me for a long time. i feel so bad for him, he doesn’t deserve this. he was stuttering. he was more concerned if he made a mistake than if he was physically alright.

[canisalbus]

hello! i've written a short little machete fic, and i wanted to share it with you as thanks for all the incredible art and generous question-answering you've been doing these last few months. i hope that if you give it a look, you enjoy it. <3 keep up all your amazing work! archiveofourown [.] org / works / 50945128

✦ A Voi ✦

[bookofmac]

Monkey Man is good for many many reasons, but in my look through the tag and for some reason no one is mentioning the comedy at play?

Like guys, he runs at a window to do the big Action Hero Jump and bouces off like a pigeon. The Indian Three wheeler is built like a fast and the furious car, has the license plate s3xy car, and is named after Nikki Minaj. The one kick KO. They play Boney M as he kills people in the Elevator. It's really well crafted

[puppyeared]

id fumble him so bad

[ruporas]

wolfwood redraws (ID in alt text)

[allerghen]

shizun in spring (or the remnants of winter, at least)

[ryvdraws]

pspsps cmere paulkins girlies pspspspsps

[ryllen]

maybe i do want us to kiss a little more

[ineed-to-sleep]

So I've had this wip sitting in my folders for months now and decided to ressurect it to satiate the urge to draw these two again

[thirdmagic]