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findingjoynweirdstuff · 3 years

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Dream SMP Recap (June 1/2021) - All Roads Lead to Rome

Ponk tears down one of the towers of L’Llamaburg for overshadowing his supreme fridge.

Tubbo creates a new outpost just outside Las Nevadas to overlook the country.

Techno has a birthday party with the Syndicate and Quackity comes over to bring a message.

Quackity speaks with Foolish in Las Nevadas about his future plans for the country and roads.

Niki finds out about Wilbur’s revival.

Bad asks for Techno’s help with destroying his enemies, as he’s upset about L’Llamaburg violating the buffer zone agreement. Puffy confronts Bad about the brewing war.

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VOD LINKS:

Ponk

Foolish

Tubbo

Technoblade

Nihachu

BadBoyHalo

Captain Puffy

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- Ponk tears down one of the towers of L’Llamaburg

- Ponk sends Foolish through the labyrinth he built

- Afterwards, they visit the turtle sanctuary

- Ponk shows Foolish that he tore down the tower for overshadowing his supreme fridge. Foolish points out that he and Puffy don’t have the best history. Ponk is still bitter over Puffy destroying Sacrifice’s shrine

- Tubbo creates an outpost on a mountain just outside of Las Nevadas to keep an eye on the country

- Quackity comes over and asks what Tubbo is doing. He says he’ll speak with Tubbo later

- If anyone asks, Tubbo will say it’s just a cookie outpost from Snowchester

- Foolish comes over as well and tells Tubbo that he sent Punz on the mission to find the nuke

- Tubbo asks why Foolish has left Snowchester. Foolish says he’s trying something new -- he’s joining Las Nevadas, actually

- Foolish takes Tubbo on a tour through Las Nevadas. He asks if Tubbo would want to join Las Nevadas, but Tubbo declines

- Techno starts off in his house. He walks outside to find Niki, Phil and Ranboo launching fireworks for his birthday! They also set up a table outside the house with some cake

- After they eat some cake, Techno asks what he’s missed. He’s gone off into the wild to train, while Phil thought he was hibernating. Techno asks if they found out Tommy actually died. Phil tells him he did, but Dream brought him back

- Speaking of things brought back...Wilbur is back too. Niki and Techno are both shocked. Phil tells them that he’s actually living in Phil’s house currently. He tells Niki Wilbur’s changed for the better

- Techno brings Steve out

- He notices the new forest, which the others say sprouted up. It just appeared

- The subject returns to the revival book. Niki says, if Wilbur and Tommy have been brought back, there’s one person left that can be brought back that they don’t want back: Schlatt

- Niki asks if there are any new governments. Phil says no, Snowchester is still there but nothing much has happened that they need to step in on

- They solved the government issue with brute force. Techno says it was “mild property damage,” but Phil disagrees, saying it was mass destruction. They agree to just blame everything on Dream

- While he was away, Techno studied the blade. He suggests a training session for Niki and Ranboo

- Techno has something to do. He leaves, noticing Quackity standing on a hill nearby

- Quackity says hello. Techno tells him it’s his birthday (he’s not sure how old he is, though) and Quackity thanks him for helping with the Egg. He asks if Techno has visited Dream (Techno hasn’t)

- Techno went to the Dream SMP equivalent of Italy on vacation

- Quackity tells Techno he’s been visiting Dream, and that while in prison Dream seems to be a completely different person. Techno asks if Dream’s been treated well, and Quackity says he’s fine

- Just a few days ago, Dream told Quackity that he wanted Techno to visit, that he finally wanted to call in a “favor”

- Techno explains that the “favor” is that he has to get Dream his favorite meal at some point, since they were at a restaurant once and Techno forgot his wallet

Quackity: “He’s changed a lot. If you walk in there, he doesn’t seem like the person he’s always been, which is weird, how a person can change just like that.”

Techno: “It’s strange what five months of near total isolation can do to a person...as we know, it’s always a positive effect.”

- Sometime during this weekend, Techno will visit. Techno asks if Quackity has any written message from Dream, and Quackity says he can probably get one. He only has notes right now

- Techno asks if Quackity is telling the truth. He would hate to be lied to on his birthday...Quackity says he’s not lying, and as he said, he’s glad they set aside their differences

Quackity: “At the end of the day, scars fade away, Techno...”

- Quackity says goodbye and leaves. Techno wonders if he can trust him

- He returns to the others and they celebrate some more

- Phil takes them all down to show off the training arena he made in the basement

- They go back up and talk some more

- Meanwhile, Quackity meets Foolish at Las Nevadas. He asks about Tubbo’s outpost, and Foolish says it’s a cookie outpost. Quackity tells Foolish not to trust it, realizing he actually hasn’t talked to Tubbo recently

- Quackity is bothered by how clear the view of Las Nevadas is from the outpost and questions why Foolish didn’t stop Tubbo from building it

- He asks the last thing Foolish did in Las Nevadas as they walk over there, and then whether or not he’s already discussed the possibility of a “contract” of formal citizenship

- Quackity wants to get to know Foolish better. He makes sure that he can trust Foolish, confide in him certain information

- Foolish remarks that Quackity seems like the kind of guy who would make a lot of enemies, and gives him a set of Netherite armor

- Speaking of making enemies, Quackity takes Foolish over to the lake to look out at Wilbur and Tommy’s headquarters. Someone paid them a visit

Quackity: “Have you ever met...Wilbur?”

- Foolish hasn’t. Tommy told him a bit. Quackity points out an empty spot in Las Nevadas where he wants something done. He tells Foolish he just paid a visit to an old friend and he went unprotected, so the Netherite is a good idea

- Only two people have just given Quackity armor, and one of them is Quackity’s “right hand man” at the moment: Sam. Foolish mentions Sam screwed him over with L’Sandburg

- Quackity points out Eret’s cobblestone ocean pyramid. This country needs more citizens, more things built

- He shows Foolish the gambling machine and gives him diamonds to try out. Foolish wins Linda!

- Their objective with Las Nevadas is to build the biggest, most powerful country, and Quackity’s read his fair share of Sun Tzu. He’s actually helped run a country before, which Foolish is surprised to learn (countries are before Foolish’s time)

- Quackity says he’ll talk to Foolish soon and leaves for a couple minutes before returning. He asks for PVP lessons, but Foolish hasn’t done much fighting for a while

Quackity: “I do all my fighting through dialogue, if you haven’t noticed...That’s my biggest weapon, Foolish, it’s the way I say things, everything, all that. But I think, you know, given what could come of all this...”

Foolish: “I was gonna say, I don’t know if that will work forever...unless you’re very, very good with your words, eventually you’ll say the wrong words.”

- Quackity suggests they make their own lookout outpost

- Quackity has some plans to show Foolish, a project he thought of when he was thinking about making Las Nevadas. His first plan was to build a highway system

Quackity: “They say all roads lead to Rome...in this case, all roads lead to Las Nevadas.”

- He shows Foolish some sign ideas and Foolish says it would be no problem to build up some roads

- Quackity shows Foolish an old idea for a path with rail lines on both sides, layouts for advertisements

- The first place Quackity thinks the road should go is the Spawn area, for when someone joins or dies. Quackity is annoyed that Tubbo blocked the route, but they can go around it

- They plan out the path of the road. Foolish asks if Quackity wants the road to go to Kinoko Kingdom. Quackity goes silent before saying he wants to focus on the main attractions right now

- Quackity leaves again to go check some things

Foolish: “When you choose a side, there’s always other sides...which means I can’t be buddy-buddy with everyone forever.”

- Foolish does the boat slime jump. Quackity comes back with food and continues to discuss plans. Besides connecting everyone, they also need to make cash off of this highway, so he wants to make sure there’s plenty of advertisement

- L’manburg is destroyed, but it also has a lot of history. Quackity’s noticed no one’s really claimed that area. Wilbur and Tommy are neighboring them now. Foolish asks if they’re enemies...Quackity says he’ll explain that in a bit

Quackity: “We can make L’manburg a main tourist area.”

- Foolish knows a few people might be against that. Anyone from L’manburg, maybe. Quackity reminds him he was in the cabinet, and proceeds to tell him the story of Wilbur:

---

When Quackity joined the server, L’manburg was the biggest nation. Quackity asked to join, and he was declined because he wasn’t British -- the one requirement. He didn’t like this, he felt left out, he wanted to be a part of something.The election rolled around, it was SWAG vs. POG.

(They walk over to the ruins of L’manburg)

Wilbur was going to run a “democratic” election with only one option available to vote for, which Quackity didn’t think was very democratic.

(Quackity gets interrupted by George calling him)

Each party had a Vice President. Foolish assumes that Wilbur’s was Tommy...and Quackity’s was George. Quackity points out King’s Court to Foolish in the sky, the place they had their debate. After their debate, Quackity and Wilbur had a talk, a conversation that stuck with him for a very long time.

Then it was Election Day. What happened was, each party had sponsors. Who endorsed Tommy and Wilbur?

Vikkstar.

Tommy accidentally posted the Vikkstar endorsement video in the Discord before deleting it seven seconds later, but that was still enough time for George to get the link and send it to Quackity, and Quackity needed the one person who could match that endorsement: KSI.

Unfortunately, KSI never replied, as it was quite last-minute.

That’s when the turning point happened, and Quackity calls it the worst day of his life. George slept through the event. Quackity had no endorsements, no Vice President. The other party was going strong -- but they made a mistake. Their second endorsement was Schlatt. However, Schlatt arrived drunk, and instead of endorsing Wilbur and Tommy, he made his own party on the spot. SCHLATT2020. Not only this, but Niki and Fundy also made their own party too: COCONUT2020.

The votes go out. POG2020 wins. But, Quackity had an idea, to pool votes with Schlatt. They ended up with 1% more votes than POG, and that’s how Quackity ended up as Vice President of the country. However, this was a big mistake. The policies Schlatt enacted were to exile Tommy and Wilbur, took down the walls, changed up things -- and to be fair, Quackity did join him on this. He was down with taking down the walls. Everything started going downhill. Schlatt would constantly undermine Quackity’s Vice Presidency, his policy ideas, and he did the worst thing to Quackity -- took down the White House that Quackity, Wilbur and Tommy built together.

Schlatt didn’t care. He started teaming up with bad folks like Dream, other people, and the rest is history. Imagine everything that had to happen to lead to this...

(he gestures to L’manhole)

Foolish: “Do you regret it all?”

Quackity: “...No.”

Foolish: “So, you would’ve let it all go the exact same way, down to Wilbur blowing it all up?”

Quackity: “I wouldn’t have changed a damn thing, Foolish...And let me tell you why...All these mistakes, all these things, have made me the person I am now, Foolish. All these experiences, all these bad moments in my life, have made me the man I am today.”

“And you never...you never mess with history. Because everything happens for a reason, Foolish. Everything happens for a reason. You don’t ever pander with history, you don’t ever try to turn it around or change it, because the way things happen are the way things happen at the end of the day. And that’s how we build character. I wouldn’t have Las Nevadas if not for all these...for all these...mistakes, maybe.”

After that, something happened with Wilbur. Quackity didn’t know much about it, but he changed. He was so obsessed with his country that if he couldn’t have it, no one could. He blew up the entire thing, and in that process he ended up dying, and that’s when Ghostbur came to be.

So many more things happened (Foolish finds out that this crater isn’t just from Wilbur), but...it is what it is.

“And if you dwell in the past, you’ll live in suffering your entire life. So take it from me, Foolish. Take in all the experiences you’ve ever had, and apply them to something greater than what you used to be. Take one last gander at...the country that never was.”

---

- Quackity shows Foolish his old house under Karl’s. He’s not seen Karl in a while. He sees that it’s been blown up, and there’s an old message to him from Sam. He’s not sure what happened.

- Quackity shows Foolish the message. Just as he’d said, Sam had given him Netherite armor once. Sam has a good heart. It’s in the right place, he just needs some guidance.

- He leads Foolish down the Prime Path, showing him the other buildings. He takes Foolish over to the museum.

- They look at the maps and discuss routes again. Foolish asks about a road to the prison, and Quackity says improving his “commutes” would be nice

- Quackity is glad Foolish is taking the chance on Las Nevadas. Quackity has to leave to address some business, but he’ll get on to help Foolish build the roads later.

- Foolish goes back to Las Nevadas, looking out over at Wilbur and Tommy’s headquarters.

Foolish: “It’s kinda been a while since I’ve really had enemies enemies...but I have the feeling that is gonna change soon enough...Maybe not even enemies, but certainly not friends. Kind of a shame, though, I’ve yet to really meet Wilbur...”

- He gets out his shulker box from an Ender Chest and looks inside. There is a stack of TNT.

“It’s been a while...”

- Niki is at the Arctic. Wilbur is back. She thought she got rid of him and doesn’t know why he’s back now, in the only place she feels safe

Niki: “Who are you going to manipulate next, huh? Because it’s not gonna be me this time! It’s not gonna be me this time.”

- Tommy? Tubbo? Jack? Jack wouldn’t fall for it. Niki is upset that Wilbur didn’t check up on her. Why would he change? He never changes or cares

- Why would Dream revive him? Dream was his enemy, but at the end he was pretty fond of him

- Niki heads back through the Nether to her secret city. Now the world revolves around Wilbur again

- She still hasn’t finished her city and hasn’t been able to sleep. She goes to a chest to find the diamonds Wilbur once gave her

- Niki saw the TNT when she broke the wall, but she didn’t tell anyone, covered it back up. But Wilbur still blew it up anyway

- Niki puts the diamonds in a chest buried deep in the wall and covers it back up

- She goes back to the main area, to L’manburg. When she was in Manberg, Wilbur promised that he would get her out of there, and she waited weeks. And then Wilbur wasn’t the same person anymore

- Niki thought maybe while Wilbur was still alive, he could still be rescued, could still be happy

Niki: “But you will never be happy, because all you want is what you can’t have. And when you have everything...what will you fight for?”

- Niki wants to see him, ask why he never came back to her. She walks back to the Nether portal and the stream ends

- Bad shows up to L’Sandburg and notices L’Llamaburg next door. He’s upset about the new castle and wonders why Foolish would allow this, as it violates the agreement

- He reads the purpose of L’Llamaburg and is enraged. There’s only one option, and that’s war. He sets fire to the walls of L’Llamaburg, builds an extension on top of his tower to make it taller than Puffy’s build, and builds a giant sign saying “LIAR”

- After visiting the main area to get some resources, he meets Antfrost on the Prime Path, who has a new skin for pride month!

- Bad goes to the Arctic to bake a cake for Technoblade’s birthday. After finishing it, he leaves a letter requesting Techno’s assistance:

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Dear Technoblade,

Greetings on this fine evening. I hope this letter finds you well and I hope your polar bears are doing excellent. It is with my sincerest apoligies that I disturb your peace but I must inquire about possibly obtaining your services.

Important matters aside I have built a delicious giant cake for you in honor of your birthday. I hope this cake finds you well and may you have many excellent birthdays to follow. If you would be interested in possibly destroying my enemies for me and salting the earth they call home so that they never find happiness again that would be most kind. If you would like to discuss this matter further you know where to find me.

Kindest Regards BBH

---

- Later, Captain Puffy hears of this brewing war and comes online. She confronts Bad about the missing tower from her castle. Bad insists it wasn’t him, it was Ponk

- Puffy reminds Bad of Puffy and Ponk’s conflict from a while ago in which they destroyed each others builds, and says it’s only fair that, if Ponk really did destroy the tower, then she should destroy Ponk’s fridge

- Bad tries to reason with Puffy to not retaliate, while Puffy thinks tearing down the fridge would be doing the place a favor

- Bad brings up the buffer zone violation and they start arguing with each other over Foolish’s land, the turtles, Puffy blames Bad for killing her son, one thing leads to another and soon enough Puffy tells Bad that his L’Sandburg llama citizens are all into BDSM

- They go to the turtle enclosure and see Ponk’s ransom note. Bad says Ponk has to die. Puffy points out they could start with the fridge, and Bad says they should take his other arm. Ponk stole Shelly, they have to kill him

- Puffy gets angry at Bad not wanting to take down the fridge and brings up the death of her son again, how she thought Bad was going to turn over a new leaf at the Banquet and then that leaf ended up covered in blood instead

Puffy: “I should have taken your goddamn arm, Bad!”

- After talking more, the two finally work together to take down the supreme fridge

- Once finished, the two write a return note to Ponk. Bad wants to discuss things with Ponk, and there’s a place in Las Nevadas that he thinks would be good to meet

The note reads:

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Dear Ponk,

It has come to our attention that you’ve been responsible for some heinous crimes!

Not only did you completely demolish Puffy’s original mushroom house which she let slide. You now have destroyed a tower of her sand castle. BUT IT DOESN’T STOP THERE!

WHERE IS SHELLY PONK!? You’ve not only commited crimes against Puffy but Bad as well! You’ve kidnapped Bad & Sheldon’s dearest Shelly for ransom!

So me and Bad decided to return the favor and give you a taste of your own disgusting medicine!

YOU’RE FRIDGE NO LONGER SUPREME! YOU’VE MESSED WITH THE WRONG MUFFINS AND TAKEN OUR KINDNESS FOR WEAKNESS TOO MANY TIMES!

We all need to talk immediately before this escalates more then it already has.

Leave a book back giving us a time and a place and we will try to attend.

You’ve been warned!

With love, BBH & PuffDaddy

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- Bad still wants Puffy to move L’Llamaburg, but Puffy wants to stay and protect her son. Bad suggests an alliance: what if L’Sandburg and L’Llamaburg simply combine their territories? It would be beneficial for both nations

- Puffy is skeptical about Bad’s idea and decides that relocating is probably the smartest idea, as Ponk will probably retaliate against her

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Upcoming Events:

- The final Egg lore stream

- Technoblade’s visit (this weekend)

- Puffy’s lore

- Tales From the SMP: “Space Race”

- Ponk’s lore stream

- Dream’s lore video

- Sapnap’s possible lore stream

- Awesamdude lore stream

#what a day huh #dream smp recaps #dream smp #long posts #hhhahfdsjajhdfja #sorry if I missed any details with this one it was A Lot

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hacked-by-jake · 3 years

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Hbj, first of all I hope you have a great day. The theories about Jake using the character, it's making me crack my head, I've always been suspicious of the fact that he has such a quick love interest in MC, I don't see the point in him trusting and liking lovingly so fast in someone he doesn't know, whenever things get tough, he loves to say sweet things to calm down.

I love Jake, but of all the questions he can ask a stranger he decides to ask if MC has a boyfriend? It's like he wants to make sure he can use this method and after episode 8 when we decided to tell how we felt about what happened with Richy, I found him so cold in his responses, trying to treat the situation as unimportant and that bad things happen and when he saw that he was not convinced, he started to say beautiful things, I found it strange that he thought about giving up his sister for a complete stranger, because that's what we are, we don't know Jake and neither does he know us.

Despite all the theories, I know that when I talk to Jake again I'm going to trust him completely, after all they are theories, but the signs are there.

(If Jake is manipulating MC I will cry for days)

Hey, dear Anon! <3

Thank you very much! I also hope that you have a nice day/evening/night. <3

Well, first of all, even though the topic hurts a little, just like with you, but I love talking about it.

And I apologize in advance that the answer has become so long. I didn't expect that myself. xD

I fully understand your thoughts about this, and I’m also afraid that Jake is just taking advantage of us. I try to be as neutral as possible, so as not to be completely biased.

Okay, so I can say for myself, and for many others, that we’re actually the same on that point with Jake. We also trust him incredibly fast although he is anything but trustworthy at the beginning.

You know, I think the relationship between MC and Jake is a little bit based on soul mates. That it’s not a coincidence that we get to know him and that we get along so quickly.

We write more with Jake than with the other characters with whom we can enter into a closer relationship. For example, Richy, even when you flirt with Richy, it goes very fast to the point where you can get closer to him.

I think in some ways this "everything goes fast" is also simply because of the way the game works. I mean, we can’t take so much time to get to know everybody.

We immediately talk to all the characters, and directly a lot. If it would take longer in the game, it would be strange firstly because of Hannah, because she would be kidnapped much longer, and secondly, there would be a lot of tension missing. At least I think so.

You know, I think he’s asking MC if we have a boyfriend, actually, is more of a sign that he’s really interested. I don’t consider Jake to be someone who gets closer to someone when the person is already in a relationship. I think he really wanted to know. Because if he did all this just to make us trust him, he might not care if MC is in a relationship or not.

As we can notice, Jake has a hard time getting social contacts, having a hard time with things like smalltalk, etc. he tells us (we can ask him that, but I think only in the premium version) that he is and always was alone. (I can’t remember his exact wording.) And later he tells us that Hannah and Lilly are the only family he has left.

I think MC has just been the first person to really care about him for a long time, asking him more private questions. Directly during our second conversation with him, we can talk to him about the desert island, and ask him, for example, which programs he uses to hack.

I think, as he says himself, we immediately had a good relationship with each other. And if he’s been alone for a long time, and then someone like MC comes and pays attention to his personality, and not just superficially, he enjoys it.

We have not been deterred by him and his performances, and have treated him as a normal person. Not, for example, like the government that sees him as a criminal, but we know he’s a hacker, but we don’t let that put us off.

In episode 8, when Lilly criticizes us for really trusting him, we can say that we had no choice. We had to trust him, to help Hannah.

And so it was for him with MC. He was just trying to save his sister who was kidnapped in front of him. And all of a sudden, our number comes from Hannah. He had as few options as we had. He’s just trying to find his sister, so he has to trust the person whose number seems to have something to do with it.

Moreover, we are all in a dark time. A kidnapper and murderer who kidnapped one person, murdered one person, and maybe even a second one, Richy.

Everything is always under stress and we are working hard to find and save Hannah. Stress, grief and worry. When two people like MC and Jake meet and have to work so closely together, then a little distraction is really good. Or being drawn closer to someone when you’re desperate.

And then he writes a pretty agitated message, I don’t know if you ever chose this option, I can recommend it to you.

I think we can see how Jake really is when we talk to him about that Hannah might have done something to herself.

Jake says, "But if you think she might have done something to herself, that’s out of the question."

We can then say it’s okay, and we’ll continue to talk to him. However, we can continue to talk about it and tell him, for example, that we should not exclude anything. He’s still stubborn, and we can tell him, "Why are you so stubborn?"

(well, unfortunately I can’t find the screenshot of this place and I can’t remember his exact wording)

However, he sounds so desperate and worried and it also sounds a bit like a reproach, so that he even apologizes afterwards and says that he did not want us to feel bad about him.

(Maybe there is someone here who has selected it and has a screenshot of it)

Yes, unfortunately Jake, in episode 8 when we talk about Richy, sounds and is very cold and emotionless. I think it’s just hard for him to understand how it felt. And "unfortunately" he is more focused on finding Hannah that is one of the only things that interest him.

I think Jake is also kind of blaming himself for not being able to help Hannah faster.

As we also know from episode 8, Hannah had sent him an email. However, this address was no longer active, and he only saw it when it was actually too late. He called her right away, but if he’d seen the message sooner, that might never have happened. Of course, it’s not his fault, but that’s how we humans are. And I think it’s the same with him.

If he feels guilty, I can understand that he wants to help so badly. He probably blames himself for breaking off contact with her at the time. That he didn’t dare tell his sister he is her brother.

Maybe then everything would have been different, and Hannah wouldn’t have ended up in this situation.

I think he was thinking of giving up on Hannah and running away with MC because it was stressful for him, too. He also suffers from the situation, but does not admit it to himself.

As he says himself, he tries to look at everything as objectively as possible, so he ignores what happened to Jessy and Richy. Because I think he’s also hiding his own feelings.

And in between, we can see him from the emotional side. Only rarely, but sometimes it happens.

And right now he realizes that for some time it would be easier to disappear with MC and turn your back on everything. Since the situation also burdens him, it is quite normal to think about choosing the easier way, which would also make him feel better.

But, as he also says, this would bring nothing. The responsibility would catch up with us and we would live forever with the guilt of just letting Hannah down.

And last but not least: the topic of manipulation.

And yes, that’s exactly what Jake is doing with us, manipulating us by using our feelings for him, and calming us down by telling us nice things.

Best we see this in episode 7. After his pursuers tried to hack us. Although he used this method before, manipulated us, but in episode 7 it is the most extreme to see.

However, I have to say that we are doing the same thing with him. We’re doing the same thing.

And best we see that, in episode 8.

When we tell him that the others want to see what we have for clues, etc., and the others want him to come into the group.

We know for a fact that Jake isn’t thrilled. But we get him to decide against it by saying, "I can’t do this without you."

And that’s actually also a point that shows me that Jake really likes us, he gives in and accepts the situation after we tell him that.

And that’s exactly what happens when we ask him to write the letter to Ted with Lilly, where we can tell him that we’d like him to be there. And from that moment, Jake says yes.

If he really didn’t want it, or he didn’t care that we told him we couldn’t do it without us, he wouldn’t give in.

He would just keep saying that he doesn’t want to and he doesn’t want to talk to us about it.

We wouldn’t even have time to contradict him, or just tell the others everything, since he could have erased any evidence from our phone.

He lets us manipulate him as much as he manipulate us.

And he writes when he joins the group chat that he wants to change his mind to tell the others everything, because of us.

And even the others realize that Jake likes us.

Lilly, for example, says (when we talk to her in episode 6) that he interrupted the vote, that his reaction wasn’t normal just because he cared about the subject. He’s very biased, not just because we’re important to him to save Hannah. It’s because we were treated unfairly by Lilly and the others.

Jessy says to Phil that there’s someone who likes us, but she doesn’t know if we’re reciprocating his feelings.

I don’t think I need to say anything about Dan, do I?

Jake and MC are not as inconspicuous together as the two think themselves.

I think I’ve addressed the most important things now, so I want to say an end conclusion: I really believe that Jake likes us and not just manipulates us. I really think he wants to get closer to us.

I’m not a psychologist or anything, of course, but I think Jake has some psychological problems that he might even know himself. Many things are difficult for him and I can often identify with him on this point.

His actions and manner are not always the right ways, sometimes he does not know how to behave and what is okay and what is not. We can see it with Jessy and Richy.

With us, he tries to show empathy and support us, which is why he wants us to rest a little afterwards.

Jake doesn’t seem to have had an easy life, and of course that leaves its mark. I don’t think he’s that cold sometimes because he means it badly.

I know we haven’t known him for long, but this whole situation is so special that it’s not surprising that MC and Jake get along so well and get closer.

Of course I can’t say exactly, maybe it’s really all just played by him, that we will only see at the end, but I don’t think that everything is fake.

And of course, thank you very much for sharing your thoughts and theories with us. As you can see, I had a lot to say and really enjoyed answering that, and I hope I could help you a little bit.

So, I hope that I have not forgotten anything important now and that I have taken up everything I wanted to and can say. 😅

As I said, I don’t know everything myself, and this is just my opinion. I hope I’ve managed not to be so biased.

Take care of yourself and stay healthy, lovely Anon!💚🎭🌹

#duskwood anon ask #duskwood #duskwood jake #duskwood mc #duskwood Jake x mc #duskwood thoughts #duskwood theories #duskwood game #everbyte studio #everbyte game #everbyte duskwood #duskwood everbyte #duskwood hacker #iamjake #hbj dw answers

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dreamsmp-au-ideas · 3 years

Text

It's late and I'm probably going to regret this in the morning but what about a Paranorman au? It is, of course, going to go severely off the canon media and I'm going to make it so much angstier than it was before.

We're going to have Tubbo seeing and talking to ghosts and stuff. He is going to get bullied and is not having a good time honestly. His uncle showed up and told him about a curse and a few days later he's seeing zombies and whole lot of things.

Also apparently all of his friends but Tommy, Ranboo, Wilbur, and Phil are cursed well then. That's not good for the others.

Schlatt is that uncle who no one really wants to talk to and talks to ghosts as well. Spoilers: He dies early on in the au. Heart attack.

Phil, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy are the family Tubbo got adopted into and they love each other.

Phil skeptic on ghosts but humors Tubbo on it. He tries to help him move on from the Captain just straight up being gone.

Techno is even more of a skeptic and he kind of wishes that Tubbo would stop with the ghost thing. It doesn't help that he still hears the chat. Why? Well I get to that later.

Tommy is the only one who believes Tubbo and equally gets bullied at school. He goes and just chases anyone who hurts Tubbo though. We get Clingy Duo in this house kids.

I am very tempted to make Wilbur dead just for the angst and the fact that Tubbo can see him and no one believes him hurts. Oh boy that hurts.

On the other hand we can have him alive but we got to go and give him a lot of angst in return. I don't know what. Maybe the death of his girlfriend Sally? Wait shit that's worse.

Quackity, Fundy, Bad, Niki, George, Sapnap, Ponk, Eret, and Ranboo are in this story as well. I'll get to their roles later but let's get to Agatha :)

So I'm thinking we have Dream as Agatha. And this is where the angst really hits.

We start off by everything happening at the Village that went Mad. Everything was good at that village. Everyone was completely normal and there is no magic here! Nope! None at all!

Except Cornelius did. Cornelius had magic and he showed it to Catboy and Robin. He loved them so and he would smile whenever they would go and be in awe of his magic.

Cornelius who was known as a god who reincarnated so many times yet would go and rest with these two. He's truly happy with them.

Then a villager spots them. And then they tell the others.

They mistakenly accuse Robin and Catboy for witchcraft. Cornelius begged and screamed that he was the one who did it and yet they did not listen. Both were hanged.

And that's when rage hit. So much rage hit. And so Cornelius cursed the people who voted for his partner and son's demise. He cursed their descendants and leveled the village.

And in that time, Cornelius grieves.

Next lifetime, he's Hubert. He's working for a noble and man he hates it. He still misses Robin and Catboy, but he found joy in making sure that a teenager was well.

He grew fond of Moon and vowed to protect him. He worked for the noble for a long time and knew what he did behind the painting. He knew.

So he promised Moon that one day, they'll run away from the manor. That one day, they'll run away and they'll never look back. Then they'll make a cabin and will live happily. Away from the noble and the egg.

Then a masquerade happens and Moon makes a mistake. Something that could be brushed off and forgiven quickly.

But the noble isn't one to forgive. He instead led all of his guests down and dragged the Butler with him. Hubert running behind and trying desperately to reach him.

The screams will forever haunt him.

Rage hit again and if he had a clear mind he would have seen that the guests were horrified at what the noble has done.

He didn't though. And so he cursed all who was in the manor, the noble cursed the most and burnt it down.

And in that time, Hubert grieves.

Next lifetime, he's Dream. He's scared to get close to others. Oh so scared. He keeps an arm's distance away and hides himself from the world.

Then he meets three people. A child who is energetic and is mischievous, a man who sings songs and is abut odd, and a father who watches over the two and is protective of them.

For a moment, he lets himself get close. He lets himself be happy with this family and he can heal and maybe he can settle down and-

An arguement happens with the musician and an ex friend of his. Someone spills the a candle over. The house catches fire with his family inside.

Only the person with sunglasses survived. Regret and tears pouring out of their eyes. They didn't mean to. Oh god what had they done.

Rage hits once more and he quietly curses the person. He can't level this town. This town was that family's home.

And so he left. Dream leaves and he apurs in his anger and grief and it grows and grows and he's about to snap and then-

A businessman of all people realized who he was and sealed him away to stop him from leveling the town.

And in that time, Dream grieves.

And in that time, Cornelius, Hubert, Dream grows angry. His rage skills and spills and he wants to make them all pay. They deserve all the suffering that they caused. They deserve it all.

It is now tradition for the family of that businessman to go and read him the tales of all of his lives to stop his rage.

Schlatt was supposed to do it. But alas, he died.

And now the god woke up. And he's in grief. But most of all, he's in rage.

#mcyt #dream smp #dream smp au #paranorman au #tubbo #jschlatt #philza #ph1lza #technoblade #tommyinnit #wilbur soot #dream #dreamwastaken #long post

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fandom-sheep · 3 years

Text

MCC 24 JUL 21

Green Guardians and Pink Parrots Part 1/2

Alright I’m finally back! I’m only half watching while I clean my room but it’s fine.

I’m watching Fundy’s POV on my main screen and Ranboo’s on my phone where I’m typing this.

Ranboo pre game stream let’s gooo.

I’m so very entertained by the background Tubbo noises.

He’s so happy. I don’t know if I have it in my to watch Fundy’s POV even though I’m cheering for the Green Guardians.

Sands of time. Let’s go!

We are going to hear these boys in each other’s backgrounds.

This has “mom can we play Minecraft at our sleepover” vibe.

Phil’s streaming. Where is the fox boy…

Boys trying to out noise each other.

Please tell over to tubbo about how loud he is being. It would be funny.

It’s so much fun watching this boy achieve his goals. I love watching people achieve their goals.

Actual MCC server!!!

Good time for screeny. Nobody is chilling.

BURGER!

I saw him! I saw that fox run past!

“Ahh” - Ranboo

“Aaaa” -Tubbo

“Ahhhh” -Ranboo

“Aaaa” -Tubbo

High school ish age boy in competitive scenario. This will be so much fun.

Microphone magic time!

Hey I hear the boys!

And it works well.

It does echo???? How???

“It was a joint effort. I came up with some bad ideas you came up with the idea that works.” -Tubbo

Also known as every other group chat I’ve ever been in.

Lmanburg flag at rally?

What?

No. Let’s do free clout.

Ranboo being a problem.

Why is everyone in that VC?

What problems are these children causing.

Fundy is live! Where is my iPad time to dual wield streams.

Spatula???

Dual spatulas.

It’s time to start!!!

Where is the fox?

You know. I might reverse it. I might have to watch Pink Parrots mainly and just ignore green guardians.

I’m going to put Wilbur on my iPad so I can see the chaos man. Now to decide which POV I’m listening to. Probably Ranboo. Wilbur on mine is slightly behind.

They asked if Wilbur was going change his skin? That never happens. He had to wear the sweater of shame at Christmas time.

I have them both almost perfectly sinced but it’s at the point it almost sounds echoed.

No it’s just tubbo who sounds echoed.

Nope can’t get it to sync. Just listening on my speaker.

No surround sound here. Unless I get really board.

Manifesting the win?

Manifolding the win.

Bavid.

Time to annoy the other teams.

From here on I’m going to try to be productive while I watch. Wait no. The music isn’t in sync with the one I’ll mostly be watching.

Oh I forgot TapL was there. Nope it’s not syncing. Just going to have Ranboos on my phone be secondary.

Wilbur POV let’s go.

We trash talking. Look at them go.

Ahh. English area codes. What the enigma.

Let’s win pink parrots!!! How do I always end up cheering for this team…

I need to make pink parrot art.

Oh no. Just Wilbur.

Oh no. It’s all Tubbo.

Wilbur reminds me of a good camp counselor motivating his team. Not like one of my coworkers.

My brother isn’t home today so we can’t have a watch party like we wanted.

My mom is confused with my and my brother’s investment in MCC but we told her it was the national championships of Minecraft.

Oh poor Fundy tagging on the other side.

I need to remember to collect channel points.

I’m sorry why is my internet acting stupid. Work you!

Pink and purple. The tween girls second most idea color pallet.

They are over motivating the Soot.

Thought Wilbur was going to explode from peer pressure there.

Yooo. I figured out how to watch Fundy! I can split screen my ipad between the app and the website. Tiny Fundy screen and big Wilbur screen and tiny Ranboo screen on my phone.

They can’t warn fast enough.

Time to watch and ad and support Wilbur because it got too far behind for my liking while I fought with the tiny Fundy screen.

I need to put away the books I’m pressing flowers in. But I don’t want to mess up the flowers.

Wonder how soon I’ll have to start a new post because I ran out of bullet points.

Nah I’m not keeping Fundy’s POV open. I want full screen Pink Parrots.

Music brain made the lyric connection.

I could drink 3 bottles of water every round.

The boys with the superior bladders.

What happened with Wilbur? What I didn’t see anything happen with the stream.

Nox crew role play??? What?

Wait. Did red team just fall into the void?

What?

I found a skirt and I’m wondering why I don’t wear it more often.

It goes down to my knees I could even wear this to church.

Offhand wool!

Time to battle in the box!

Exciting death boots.

Go!!! Do wool! Get em!

Oh wow. They both died. At the same time.

They can hear the Tommy. That’s how well these dudes know one another.

Bragging on each other.

Everyone surprised that Wilbur is entering his old man years.

Woohoo!

Random history moments with Tubbo.

Woohoo (again)!

Ranboos just going to jinx it.

Oh no I need my charger!

Got my charger! Rejoined at “Minecraft butts make big… videos” and am quite confused.

Skilled boys!!

Poof goes the Bur.

They beat Dream???

Casually refolding every bandana I own while watching battle box.

I found a peppermint tea bag.

Come on get mid! Noooo.

Pink parrots doing pretty good from what I see in MCC live.

I thought Ranboo had an actual burger on his face cam. I was so confused for a moment.

Yelling across the room casually.

Wilbur is back. You can hear him.

Wilbur is like a kid trying to get a duck out of the pond.

Sky battle?

Shake? Shake shake shake?

Oh no. Now all the chat is crying over Ghostbur. Myself included.

Pink parrots on top so far! Never mind that didn’t last long.

Go Wilbur! Go Tubbo! Go Ranboo! Go TapL!

Wilbur go poof.

3rd atm.

Oh we’ve gone down.

No he was not good. But he paved the way for TapL.

We’re in 2nd?? Are the other teams dead or something?

If we’re going down and yelling timber.

4th. Not bad.

Woohoo!

Go green guardians!!

So proud of them.

Pants and Boots!

Still in 6th for sky battle.

Bless his heart TapL is so worried.

Red Rabbits and Green guardians are close.

My streams are out of sync. So confused.

We’re in lead!!

WE WON!!!

My iPad is struggling with Will’s stream but it’s going!

Come on Parrots!

Alright got it up again. Got it up again.

If I were a streamer I wouldn’t be good at MCC. I can’t competitive properly. I just like making jokes and being goofy.

Not a good lead but oh well never mind we don’t have the lead.

Red Rabbits YUM.

“Do not engage” as they set off tnt.

Get those stupid rabbits! Or whoever is attacking. I’ve never been good at any sports.

First again!

Hold on guys!

They won!!! With Wilbur hovering on the edge of the void!!!

PINK PARROTS FIRST PLACE (for now but I’m still excited)

Talented team!! Look at them go!

Get your screen shot little Y/N fan boy.

Not surprised we’re more popular than the olympics.

Had to go brag to my parents that there are more people watching MCC than the olympics. They were also not surprised.

Sands of Time. The wildcard game.

Sand sand sand sand.

We have a key for a vault already?

Putting away shoes. Nothing to make you be productive like watching Minecraft peeps play a competitive game.

“Everywhere is a way into somewhere”

Come on boys.

Time to switch to Ranboos POV. See if I can spot that N with my grown up can spot things vision.

Nope don’t see this mysterious letter.

TapL if you got nothing to do bother Ranboo to help him find that N.

Calm Tubbo. Tubbo chill.

Really. The map is broken and they are taking forever helping.

Key!!! Fight Fight Fight.

Ranboo apologizing.

If his team loses this kid will blame himself.

Go Tubbo and Ranboo.

Vault open!

Out of sand = prepare to book it.

1:30 (90 sec) let’s go.

Less than a minute. Evacuate!

Oh no Ranboo is lost. Hurry kiddo!

They made it?

They made it.

Off goes the Wilbur. Now to wait.

Come on pink parrots.

Is it bad I can’t see sands of time coins in MCC live or am I just crazy?

5th. Better than I expected.

THEY ARE STILL FIRST???

Barely. But they are.

We get to vote now?!?

Quick to the voting!

I had to fight Twitter to vote.

The app didn’t want to work.

What’s the acronym one?

I’m sorry did I just hear that Wilbur taught Tubbo how to spell fuck?

Ranboo has the iron bladder.

I drank so much water but I just kinda do that.

Listen to Wilbur getting soft and encouraging Ranboo in his first game.

And Wilbur wanting him back. And planning to manipulate Scott.

Doesn’t surprise me that Wilbur would manipulate Scott. I know he probably doesn’t but still.

Look at all us audience beings.

Hooray David. I don’t know who you are but sup.

I’m sitting on a yoga ball to type and I about fell off. That wouldn’t have been fun.

All of Wills chat blessing him.

David just did the vocal equivalent of 👍🏻

Ooo I found a dollar.

And of course Tubbo likes the olympics. Trampoline boy should love them.

Nooo. Not tubbo!

Whoopsy. There go the parrots.

Why does my Wilbur stream keep goofing. See this is why I don’t actually liveblog I am so behind it’d be delayed anyway.

Instead of replacing with Phil replace with Kristen.

Keep it up Pink Parrots keep it up. *clap clap*

Where is my old cheerleading book?

Oh this is so behind. I saw ranboo fall on his POV then waited a few moments to see him on Wills.

Let’s reset it again for now. Look like it’s close. And I got an ad this time.

If it gets super behind again I’m going to just switch to Ranboo on my iPad and see if that works.

Wills is slightly ahead now. That’s how I like it.

Wilbur is such a motivating human. I swear I keep thinking that I’m hearing my coworkers encouraging campers at a kickball game or something.

Oh we’re dropping. But we’re still going.

How the actual hay are we still here.

Keep it up TapL!!

2nd!

300 and a bit to get back to first.

Look at Ranboo and Wilbur. So happy.

Ok singy boi with the ability to do one sound for a long time.

I want TapL on DSMP. It would be funny I like this guy. What does this guy stream? I want to start watching him.

Ace Race? I love ace race.

Ooo buildmart. Used to be my favorite but now no one hates it anymore.

I like least liked games. Least liked games act as great equalizers. No one is happy and it’s funny.

“You have such a way with words” -TapL (?)

“Thanks I’m a song writer” -Wilbur

Why are we doing dramatic monologues?

Sounds neat. I like this deep story.

Who is dying? What? I zoned out for a minute.

Cant wait to see that audio appear on tiktok.

You go Wilbur. I believe in you.

You go Ranboo become a lover or hater of Ace Race.

“I keep on stabbing people in the butt with my fork” -Ranboo

Again can’t wait to see that audio appear on tiktok.

I love Wilburs angry “which glitch” he’s experienced all of them.

No don’t stop Wilburs channel! I’ll watch an ad but let me watch ace race.

Ranboo has learned to dislike ace race.

Feels like a achievement. You have made Ranboo hate ace race.

Tubbo did it! Whoop!

Good job Will!

Good Job team!

Second team to finish!!!

Wait it says they are in 3rd on MCC live?

Phil Head!

Hey 1st. Good job Parrots!

The perspective I watch doesn’t matter. All I see is shifting at Wilbur either way.

Ranboo booked it.

Techno. Oh how we miss him. He was there last MCC but still.

Wait why are they in the soggy? I missed it?

Dunk tank?

End on build mart! Everyone sounded so sad! I’m so happy! I picked the right team!

Oh acronym is terra swoop force!!! Go Philza.

I’m practical shot who will win.

Pink Parrots doing actually pretty good according to MCC live.

Good job guys!

Resetting Wilburs stream while nothing is happening so I don’t miss anything later.

OH WAIT STUFF IS STILL HAPPENING I SEE IT ON RANBOOS!

Oh final text block. I’m going to have to make 2 posts.

#mcc #minecraft championships #pink parrots #Wilbur soot #ranboo #tubbo #TapL #delayed liveblogging

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schnaphan · 3 years

Text

the ultimate 2020 masterlist ayeeeee! 🎉

2020 has been a busy year. i wrote and published a bunch of phanfics, adding up to 124,433 words. i’m also currently working on my ospbb fic which adds another 25k to the word count! on top of that, i wrote a fic i’m going to publish in the next few days, adding another 10k. almost 160k in the phandom! 🎉

that’s enough for the stats. here are the bebes.

SMOL BEBES ring my bells ~ You try to hide it I know you do When all you really want is me to come and get you ~ my contribution to the wipswap 2020! i didn’t have a wip to do a proper exchange but i was very happy to help out as a pinch hitter ♥ Rain ~ When their dinner date gets ruined, the boys need to find a way to make it work. ~ my first collab in YEARS. @jorzuela and me decided to spend one evening writing, posting the result right afterwards. the ideas were all over the place but we managed to build a neat little story ♥

IMPROMPTU CHALLENGE what’s a great idea if you want to participate in nanowrimo? yep - spend a big part of october writing. i had a lot of fun, tho! ♥ it was really awesome to try out so many different stories and oooooof returning to short stories helped me SO MUCH. cliffhanger It happened so out of the blue. One day, Dan's twin brother was gone. He didn't return home that night - he never did. The sea took him and Dan was left alone. Just like that. the emperor's new clothes Dan picked a special outfit for their dinner date. Phil doesn't quite know how to deal with it. with you by my side Dan and Phil spend their first night together. But Dan can’t fall asleep. family of ten Having a serious conversation with your biggest daughter is rather difficult. Especially when she wants to know if you regret having children. drifting Dan is in love. But his love is confined to a place with blue dim and an electrical hum. exclusive content: murder Meeting with this guy from the internet is kind of risky, kind of sketchy. But it's not just some random guy, it's Phil. So Dan feels safe. Is he right, though? scars of luck Luck. That's what Phil calls it. But Dan knows better. cutting ties Phil likes Dan a lot, he really does. Still, he can't let him know more about his life. But apparently, Dan didn't get the memo. you still have a wish Dan wants to have anonymous sex. Phil agrees. trampoline Whenever Dan is overwhelmed, he runs. Running is the one thing that makes him feel free, the one thing that clears his mind. So it just seems natural to run from Phil. pandemonium The world collapses. And Phil is gone. forever. The waves keep rolling in. Forever. Phil is by Dan's side. Forever. dornröschenschlaf On a trip through the city, looking for picturesque places, Phil stumbles across a seemingly enchanted place. But who knows, maybe he's part of the fairytale too. blessed with a curse everything i touch turns to stone. so wrap your arms around me and leave me on my own. phantom butterflies Dan still got butterflies in his stomach when he sees Phil. But what if they're only phantom butterflies? drown my demons Whenever Phil feels all alone, he knows he can rely on Dan. But maybe he shouldn't. And apparently, demons know how to swim. whiffs of autumn The world is an amazing place. Look at it instead of your flaws. - It doesn't work all the time. But autumn makes things easier. just Dan and Phil are friends. Not ‘just’ friends - they’re friends, there’s no doubt about that. And yet, Dan feels like he’s missing a piece. 知己知己 - zhiji: the one who knows me. soulmate. confidant. THE BIG STUFF

A Song for Lottie ~ Dan was quite happy without Phil in his life. But then, Lottie came along. Lottie, the annoying girl with a sweet tooth and a bad mouth. And you just can't say no to Lottie. Even when she wants you to meet Phil again. ~ sooo i volunteered to be a pinch hitter for the phandom reverse bang. (just in case you can’t tell - i love pinch hitting ♥ just hit me up - pun intended - whenever you need a pinch hitter. i’m a sucker for challenges ♥) and i did what you do as pinch hitter - begin a multi-chapter fic with several storylines. wait, you usually don’t do that? damn, nobody told me :D the story has been on a break for a while but i’m planning to write the next chapter this week! doppelt. ~ The big wheel in Manchester. The big wheel in another Manchester. Phil's disappearance. Finding Phil - twice. Dealing with Doppelgängers. That's not exactly what Dan expected from their first meeting. But in the end, being with Phil is all that matters. ~ i’m not only a sucker for pinch hitting - i also love projects. this time, i took part in the phandom big bang. the first ideas were super ambitious and nobody could understand them and i couldn’t wrap them up so i broke it down a lot. i guess i shouldn’t try to enter metaphysics into a fic - especially considering i have no clue about metaphysics. :D thriving. ~ Sometimes, you meet someone who changes your life. Someone who becomes your best friend. Someone who becomes more to you than just a best friend. Someone who helps you thrive. ~ my actual contribution to the phandom big bang - the one i signed up for. :D i spent so much time looking up flowers, oof. i ended up with 19, one for each chapter and aaaah i just love that feeling so much when everything adds up. common theme, chapter names, even formatting... i still enjoy it. :D MISC writing and posting all these fics wouldn’t have been possible without someone i met in 2020 - my beloved phandom beta @jorzuela ♥ we got to know each other during the phandom reverse bang in summer and i already told you 32763249 times that i was so glad i picked your artwork because it brought us together ♥ thanks for your patience, time, energy, everything ♥ and f... you for stealing my commas. they are essential OKAY 😤 last but not least... i got nominated twice for the phanfic awards?!?!?!!?! i’m still speechless, i can’t even put into words how much it means to me. since i started writing, it has been a dream of mine to win an award but i’ve written off that dream long ago. so it came as a huge surprise when i saw the nominations. y’all are insane, thank you so so so so so so so much for nominating me! ♥ i got nominated in two categories - A Song for Lottie in “best angst” and doppelt. in “best scifi fic”. if you want to vote for me, here’s the link! i would be more than happy to receive your vote ♥ so - that’s it! 2020 wrapped up in a neat post. thanks to everyone who was a part of my journey 🎉

#phanfic #phanfiction

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kariachi · 4 years

Text

Okay y’all, second episode for the day.

Cosplay Day

Oh, look, a Kelly Turnbull episode. That bodes very well.

‘Cos-Con Cosplay Con’ the fuck

Costume-Cosplaying Convention Costume Contest

These announcers need to take a vacation or something

Ben, sweetie, the fuck is that costume? Is a cardboard box with Christmas lights.

And he gets voted off instantly

...how is the Forever Dipshit a popular source of inspiration? How do they even know about him, did he go about his day-to-day life in that outfit? Attend board meetings? PR events? Did he got to the annual bbq in full plate?

...they know about him because Kevin put up a fucking video including him on his youtube channel way back when.

Also the video has FD asking Kevin to reroute ionization readouts, so he at least knew my son had a brain in his skull.

Ben no. Ben no reentering competitions as an alien

Gwen, sticking around the competition to see how horribly this plan goes whiel Max fucks off to look at the rest of the event

Vendor losing her shit that Max dares to be at the event without knowing a damn thing about anything. Meanwhile he’s proudly there in support of his grandchildren.

...the FD mask at her table disappeared. This certainly bodes well

One each ‘Enrique Mendoza’ is walking around in a FD mask and I am Suspicious, mostly because we’ve seen a suspicious silhouette a few times and this seems too convenient

There is a dude at this convention dressed like a hotdog who brought his baby dressed as a bottle of mustard

A skittish fucker, ain’t he? Max corners him trying to give him his badge and he’s going all fight or flight

Also dude’s got the helmet and the cape but not the rest to the armor set and that just seems like a half-assed job. I mean at least wear something other than jeans. Or a shirt with longer sleeves. Something.

And security is after the dude because he knocked Max into their favorite hotdog stand. Seems plausible.

Hmmmmm

Oh gods Enrique’s photo is just of the most saccharine young man

.........okay the helmet is a facehugger. Never thought I’d be so concerned in my life over an article of clothing

Also it’s moved on from Enrique to one of the guards

Max picked up on that shit quick.

The Forever Dipshit is an article of clothing what the flying fuck

Still belongs in the fucking Pit

Forever Dipshit is still a moron. Thinking he can intimidate Max into just letting him walk passed

Max beats Forever Dipshit: Security Guard Edition, the facehugger decides it must move on

And it’s taken over a kid, this should be fun

Okay but this seems to be mechanical so may I suggest catching it and handing it off to Kevin ‘Tech Nerd’ Levin? If anyone would enjoy using it for scrap...

Is, is Ben just repeatedly turning into different aliens every time he gets voted off?

Ben, questioning whether Forever Dipshit could be back, given he fell into a time portal. Gwen, pointing out that so did Kevin and he’s back running around. Ben: “Shh, we don’t talk about that”

Ben. Ben pls listen to your family for once in your life. Or at least give up on the contest, for fuck’s sake

I beat if Kevin were here we wouldn’t be having this problem. If Kevin were here that thing would be a toaster by now

Forever Dipshit: Sports Announcer Edition is a go and Ben still ain’t winning this contest

Using this form to get people to leave the con under the guise of a security announcement

FD judging Ben’s look

Ben: wtf weren’t you halfway athletic before?

This helmet is just not doing good on the ‘selecting host bodies’ thing

FD: “Do you have any idea how long it take to optimize one of these horrible meatbags?”

Goddamnit Max, your timing is awful

FD trying to steal Max

...in his defense, FD, he wasn’t the one who threw you into a time void. That was Kevin. Although I guess it’s easier to start shit with Ben, given he’s got loved ones and also Kevin would take you from robotic facehugger to household appliance within 20 minutes if he didn’t use Bootleg.

He is holding Max hostage. He’ll give him back as long as Ben lets him fuck off without a fight

Threatening to throw himself off the building, Max and all, if Ben doesn’t comply

“I’d like to say it was a pleasure doing business, but you’re a horrible little monster, and I loathe you.” Damn, FD, tell us how you really feel.

Gwen to the rescue, saving Max who then catches FD in a fishbowl. Though I am curious at to what he was going to say to Ben before she showed up.

“So what do we do with him now?“ Well, you have Kevin’s number, hand him over and watch the magic happen. Possibly literally.

Don’t call Phil! Phil ain’t shit and I’m still half convinced he’s part of this whole debacle!

...the man was at the convention in a full Forever Dipshit outfit. I’m not even surprised, just aggravated.

And he wants interviews for his research while he’s handling FD

And Phil wins the contest

7/10, was gonna be 9/10 but the end there was just, a waste. Hopefully they don’t just drop this. If they do it’ll be up there with how they wasted Mike.

#achi liveblogs #ben 10 2.os

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paradisobound · 6 years

Text

24 Hours with an Angel

Summary: Dan was always doomed for hell, he knew that. So when his time came and he finally was free of his body, he wasn’t shocked to find that he did end up in the same fiery pits that he always imagined. But what he wasn’t expecting was to be on the right hand side of Satan himself...as a counsel member who looks at a list of names of souls all eternity. When one of the names poses an issue, an angel named Phil is sent to retrieve it from hell but there is only one problem: the soul isn’t there either. Now, Dan and Phil must go on an adventure and retrieve the soul in 24 hours but the only problem: Dan was ordered to bring the soul to hell and Phil was ordered to take it to heaven.

Warnings: mentions of death, hell, and heaven

Word Count: 2.5k

This is Part One. Part Two will be posted on Friday, November 2nd

[Read on Ao3]

A/N: this is my Halloween fic and I actually really love this idea. I don’t even really know how I came up with it but I am really enjoying writing it. I sadly didn’t have time to finish it before Halloween so I had to split it into two parts but part two will be up Friday! Hope you all enjoy and happy reading! :)

The thing was, Dan was rather sick of everything. He hated how he had to sit at his job and overlook everything around him. He hated how he had to look his people in their eyes and spit at them when they begged him. He hated how everything was unbearably hot.

But most of all, he hated the fact that he was the assistant to the devil.

When Dan died nearly fifty years ago, he didn’t realize that he, quite literally, had a golden seat in hell emblazoned with his name. But when the darkness called and he was found screaming in the pits of fire, he was greeted by a massive male with pitch black eyes and frankly, Dan thought this was it. He was doomed to be tortured in hell forever.

Then his hand was taken, his skin scorched by the overwhelming heat that the other male was omitting. He was led to a series of thrones, chairs if you will, where, if Dan could guess, thousands of other men sat. And now he was convinced he was definitely being tortured in hell because what else does an anti-social person like Dan need? A job where he’s around other people for literally eternity.

He saw his name on the seat nearly immediately. It was hard to miss the giant golden letters saying “D.J.Howell | June 11th, 1991 - September 15th, 2018” shining back at him. He was pushed into the chair, his ass meeting the hard material quite forcefully. He had half a mind to protest when the figure began to finally speak to him.

“Daniel James Howell.�� The figure paused. “You have been chosen to serve on Satan’s council for the rest of eternity. Your decisions will help decide who comes to hell with us and who goes to heaven. Each day, you will be given a list of names of those who are battling in purgatory. You will cast a vote and help us decide the fate of those souls.”

Dan felt a little overwhelmed at first, because how in the—pardon the pun—hell was he going to do this. He was literally going to be deciding the fates of other people. He couldn’t possibly do this. Wasn’t this…God’s job?

He didn’t protest though. He sat back in his seat and was handed a long scroll of paper. He began looking over the names and whelp, this was the start of Dan’s eternity in hell.

But now it’s been fifty years and he’s sick of going through the names and going through the information, only to cast a vote and then have those same people come to hell and begin to beg. And then if they came begging to him, he was forced to scream at them to shut up until they did. And if they didn’t, he’d have to yell for the ‘pokers’, they do exactly what you think, to poke the person with hot coal until they submit and are thrown into their own hell.

Dan just hates this though. He’s never been one to like the autonomy of a life like this day after day. It was partly why he dropped out of law school and became a radio show host. But also, to be fair, Dan didn’t exactly live to see a lot of his life anyway. He only lived to be twenty seven and he died quite abruptly when he was the product of what happens when a car and a bus don’t stop for a cross walk in London.

But from what he did live, he knew he didn’t want this life of just self-autonomy. And now he was stuck…forever…doing this shit every day. Every day it was a new list. Every day it was a new vote. Every day it was another group of poor souls being shoved down here and screaming until Dan’s ears bled. And this is exactly what he’ll be experiencing forever.

He wanted excitement. He wanted something to change the way his life was stuck in this continuous cycle. He just needed a change.

And he wasn’t expecting to ever get one.

That was until the warning sirens went off and Dan had seen a sharp white light leak through above him and there was suddenly a pure white angel standing on the cliffs of hell in front of Satan’s throne.

Dan was mesmerised. He’d never seen an angel in all of the times he has been here. Angel’s only come here when something important needs to be done. He’d heard the rumours of their blinding beauty but he was never expecting to actually see one, and one be so stunning as the one stood right there in front of everyone.

Their wings expanded probably ten feet and they were clothed in a white loose fitting button down with a pair of white slacks. Their hair was a black quiff and they wore glasses—glasses! Dan couldn’t look away.

“What are you doing here?” Satan’s loud voice rumbled throughout the pits of fire.

Dan doesn’t get to hear his boss speak often, mostly because he doesn’t actually do a lot of the work. But sometimes he gets to hear the crimson skinned male speak and today was one of those times.

“I was sent by the big guy to collect a soul.”

Satan scoffed. “There are no souls here for you to collect.”

The angel shook his head. “Nu-uh.” He said, wagging his finger. “There is a soul down here by the name of Johnathan Scott, age 53 from London, and I’ve been given strict word that I need to take him with me to heaven. He’s not supposed to be down here.”

“We don’t have a soul by that name.” Satan snarled out, the growl sending a shiver down Dan’s spine.

The angel’s brows furrowed. “God has a record right here,” he pulled out a small clipboard from his shirt, “that says that Johnathan was sent down here less than a year ago.”

Dan felt a warmth creep up the back of his shirt because he recognised that name from his expansive list. Johnathan was due to die a week ago but by some miracle, he was still alive. He remembered seeing his name disappear from his list before his very eyes not long ago. The name, age and location all matched the angels.

Satan’s hand reached out and snatched the clipboard from the angel’s hand, the paper searing and smoking under his touch. “We don’t have him. Tell the ‘big guy’ that his records are wrong.”

He threw the clipboard down at the angels feet and the angel rolled his eyes before bending down and picking it up, his wings fluttering. “Well, then where do you suppose he is?” The angel snapped back. “I have to take a soul back up to heaven and it’s supposed to be Johnathan’s.”

Satan laughed, a cruel loud laugh. “Did the ‘big guy’ even check to see if this soul was dead? Maybe the soul he’s searching for is still roaming the Earth.” Satan then turned in his throne and all of the members of the council turned their attention to him. Dan just kept his attention fixed on where it was before. “In fact, have any of my council members come across the name Jonathan Scott?”

Dan took a breath—well, not so much a breath because he was dead, but an intake of some stale warm air—and slowly stood up, cowering slightly. He’s never really had to face his boss before. “I have.” He answered meekly.

Satan’s brow cocked up and his eyes, black as the night sky, became even darker in anger. “And what do you know of the name?”

“That his name disappeared from my list not long ago. He’s still alive.”

Satan quickly turned and faced the angel who was now looking petrified where he stood. “If you want your soul so badly, angel. You better go to Earth and get it.” His lip curls up into a smirk and his teeth ground together as he snarled, his neck craning down to get right into the angels face.

The angel immediately cowered and backed away, sighing quite sadly.

And if Dan didn’t feel bad enough for the angel, Satan quickly turned again and pointed his sharp nailed finger to him and bellowed “And you! Mr. Howell, will go with the angel. Maybe you can convince soul to come down here instead. God and I always did fight over what we both wanted.”

Fear immediately soaked into Dan’s body. He didn’t want to do this. He didn’t want to anything of this. He’ll take back everything he’s said about wanting a change in his internal hell. He just wants to go back to reading names and casting votes.

But instead, he found himself walking away from his chair and following the cracked stone pathway up to where the angel was stood, blinding him, and he stood beside him.

He faced forward, ignoring the white light beside him as the angel visibly shook. Satan’s cracked lips were curled into a smile as he looked them both up and down. “Daniel, you have twenty four hours to go with this ‘angel’ and make sure that the soul gets down to us. If the soul isn’t in our pits, you will be damned to the fire for one year.”

Dan swallowed hard. He could actually cry right now. In front of Satan. That was quite horrific.

“Now, begone.” Satan bellowed. “Out of my sight with you both.”

Dan was lost. He didn’t know what to do and he stuttered. But then there was a hand grabbing onto his arm and tugging left. He looked up to see that the angel was muttering to himself as he dragged Dan down the long pathway to the outside of the cliffs.

He could hear the souls screaming in the pits and the thought of that being him terrified him. He was gonna have to convince this angel to let the soul come down to hell, for a little bit anyway, so he wouldn’t have to suffer this.

“—and now I have this stupid demon to attend to.”

“Excuse me?”

The angel stopped his dragging and turned his head. “Didn’t realize you were listening to me.”

Dan scoffed. “Kind of hard not to when you’re dragging me along.” Dan looked around. “Where are you even taking me?”

“To the elevator.”

“The elevator?” Dan repeated.

The angel nodded. “The elevator to heaven.”

“We’re going to heaven?” Dan asked.

The angel rolled his eyes. “Must you ask so many questions? Yes, I’m taking you to heaven with me. But do forgive me, I’ll have to leave you in the waiting room as I talk with my boss about what I have to do to retrieve Johnathan’s soul. He doesn’t exactly like demons in his presence.”

“Why not?” Dan asked back. “Isn’t God supposed to love everyone?”

“Why are you asking so many questions?” The angel snapped back, repeating his previous statement, beginning to drag him once again. They made it to the edge of the cliff where the angel pressed a hole in the wall and the doors to the elevator shaft opened up. Before Dan knew what was happening, he was being pushed into the elevator by the angel and as soon as the angel stepped in, the doors shut and the elevator began rushing up.

“You can relax.” The angel laughed. “It’s about a ten minute ride.”

“How am I supposed to relax?” Dan countered. “I’ve been in hell for fifty years now and I literally don’t know anything about the outside world anymore.”

The angel turned to him, his blue eyes meeting Dan’s brown…or so Dan thought they were still brown. He hasn’t looked in a mirror in a long time. “It’s pretty much the same. I’ve been dead for nearly a hundred and I go out into the outside world a lot to retrieve souls. Not much changes.”

“Oh really?”

The angel nodded. “Still find it a little bit ridiculous that flying cars aren’t a thing.”

“They’re not?” Dan gasped out and the angel laughed.

“My name is Phil.” The angel said suddenly. “Well, my mortal name was Phil but up in heaven I’m mostly called Angel number 5688943.”

Dan smiled. “I’m Dan. In hell, everyone calls me Daniel. Which I guess makes sense considering that I hated it when I was alive.”

Phil snickers. “It’s odd.” He begins like a thought. “Every demon I meet is normally rude to me. You’re actually not half bad.”

Dan scoffed at that. “I’ll have you know that I’m not even sure that I’m considered a demon. I literally just look at a list all day.”

“Your name is emblazoned onto a chair within the devil’s counsel, Dan. You’re a demon. Your soul was doomed to be in hell since the day it was created.”

Dan didn’t like being called a demon. In fact, he kind of hated that too. Or maybe he just hates too much nowadays. He finds that he does hate a lot.

He stands in silence with the angel until a sudden thought appears in his head. If he’s an important member of the counsel to the devil, is he even allowed into heaven? Even if it is just briefly?

“So let me get this straight. If that’s the case, about my name being emblazoned on the chair,” Dan begins to counter, “Am I even allowed to go into Heaven?”

The angel turns to face him again and nods slowly. “Well...yes. But you’ll have to remain in the waiting room. Like I said before.”

Dan is completely flabbergasted right now. Nothing in his mortal life has prepared him for the idea of heaven having a god damn waiting room.

“There will be plenty of magazines that you can read while you’re waiting for me.” Phil says just as the elevator whirls and sputters a moment before coming to an abrupt stop already. Dan could have sworn Phil said it would take ten minutes but it didn’t feel like ten minutes. Yet again, nothing feels like anything nowadays. And he always knew time was a social construct. The only reason why he even knows how long he’s been dead is because the scroll has a different date on it each time.

He was prepared to say something else but when the doors opened, and blinding light rushed through the crack, Dan gasped. He didn’t have any breath to be taken out of him anymore but if he did, he surely would have been winded by the sight.

He had already claimed this before, but now he’s 100% certain, nothing in his mortal life has prepared him with how absolutely stunning heaven really was.

#phanfic #phanfiction #fluff #smut #angst #angels and demons

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icequeenjules26 · 5 years

Text

All I Want (For Christmas) Is You

Summary: Dan Howell's life as a student of modern piano music is completely turned upside down when he is grouped in an assignment with Phil Lester...

Word Count: 7,2k

Tags: University AU, Fluff, Pianist!Dan, Guitarist!Phil,

A/n: This is written for @babethepig for the Phandom fic Fests Holiday Exchange. As always the biggest ever thank you goes out to my love @succubusphan, who spent a lot of time beta’ing this. You’re the best. <3

Read on A03

Dans schedule was a proper mess this semester. His decision to specialize in modern piano music got frowned upon not only by his parents but also by his Uni, so his curses were not nicely fit together anymore. He had a lot of free time in between, but his time gaps were too short to get back to his dorm, so he mostly stayed on campus, spending his free time in one of the multiple coffee shops around or with his friend Louise, who was assigned a dorm room much closer to campus than he was.

That’s how he caught wind of it first.

He had always been good at playing the piano, the time at uni had only helped with that, obviously; but that he was supposedly the best in his studies had always sounded like an exaggeration. There were a lot of piano students, so he had tried toning down the people talking about him, directing them to someone else. Aside from his musical ability there wasn’t much interesting about him, though, so he had drifted out of the other students’ eyes - at least aside from the talk about whoever was supposed to be dating this week. His open bisexuality made for a large pool of possible suitors, but there were students much more interesting to talk about.

Now, though, he was back inside of the rumor mill, and right in the center.

It started off innocently enough.

“The instruments students are doing trios this year, did you hear?” The two girls in the booth right next to his were chatting animatedly with each other, obviously unaware of him just sitting half a meter away. “Yeah, I’m so excited! We haven’t seen Dan Howell performing for a while, which is a shame. Him at a Piano is enough to get me going to be honest.”

Dan was already puffing out his chest like a peacock, debating on whether to go over there or at least make his presence known otherwise, when the other girl’s reply made him halt in his tracks. “I mean same , but have you seen Phil Lester lately? He got rid of his emo fringe and stuff. He’s scolding hot .” She layed extra emphasis on the word hot and in Dan’s head, two mindsets started battling over what to do. The first one expressed some kind of jealousy in a “I wanted to tap that girl”-kind of way, the other one wanted to spring onto facebook to check out the guy they were talking about, whose name sounded kind of familiar.

Former emo fringe musician that got hot? Sign him the fuck up.

Chuckling lowly about his screaming bisexuality he continued listening, his interest now peaked.

“Well, they’re doing trios right? Just imagine both of them on stage together…”

The other girl actually moaned at the thought and Dan couldn’t contain the smirk creeping on his face. He took a sip from his coffee, his still open laptop on the table in front of him long forgotten. He probably should be working on one of his assignments due this week, but the girls’ conversation was too interesting to ignore.

Dan had to suppress some swearing when his laptop dinged with an incoming email. He could hear the girls whispering behind him when they looked over because of the sound, realizing who he was - “Oh my god is that Dan Howell?” and “Oh my god, do you think he heard us?” - and he quickly leaned forward to appear busy.

The email causing the ‘ding’ was actually about the assignment the girls had just been talking about. He packed up his stuff immediately when he had read through it. The list of assigned groups had just been hung out in front of his professor’s office and she invited all participants to a meeting in about half an hour on the other side of the campus, so he had to rush.

~~~

Even the rushing didn’t help in the end, the unfortunate incident of a broken down bus costed him the time to check the list before the meeting started. When he got there he still had no idea who his partners were, so he didn’t understand the reason behind the quiet whispers that started when he set foot into the lecture hall. He managed to find his friend Louise quite fast and slid into the free spot next to her. “What’s the fuss about?” he asked her quietly but before she could answer, the door opened again and a group of professors walked in.

Their looks varied about as much as those of the students sitting in the audience, making for a quite colourful group. For this assignment, nearly all rock-centered curses were thrown together, not only piano but also guitar, drums, bass, violin and multiple other instruments. The hall was packed full, but the arrival of the professors assured silence among the students.

“Good morning everyone! Hopefully you all checked the list and are in the process of contacting your partners. Teamwork is the key for this assignment! Because of the number of students most groups consist of one piano student, one guitar student and one of another instrument, specifically arranged to play into your strengths and make you work on your weaknesses.” The young male professor’s voice rung soundly through the hall and Dan couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. Prof. Smith, responsible for the guitar department and specialized on rock music, was so completely different from his own professor and so cliché rock musician that it offended Dan’s believes; he fit the stereotype perfectly, including tattoo covered arms, piercings and wild, green hair, often sporting band shirts.

Prof. Johnson, on the other hand, was nothing like her profession. She was a middle-aged woman with slim, neon green glasses and grey eyes that always seemed to shine with mischief. Her jet black hair fell in untamable curls onto her shoulders and she seemed to never leave the house without a nerdy T-Shirt, merch for some comic, TV-Show or movie. When she stepped forward, the whispers around the hall got louder and the grin on her face was so wide Dan couldn’t help but grin back. He liked his Professor, even if she tended to overstep her boundaries and was eager to make friends among the students.

“If you have questions you can always turn to me or Mr. Smith, Mr. Miller or Mrs. Adams, or any of the other Professors involved,” she said, then paused for a second to let the murmures and voices ring out.

“Now, we know this is a big thing among the student body, but we hope you can keep it as low as possible. Drama and relations, as fun as they are to watch for us, will only make your work harder. If you want to outplay this though, be assured I will be watching with a glass of wine and popcorn.” There were chuckles among the group and Louise next to him went red trying to keep in her laughter. Dan grinned at her and made a mental note to tell her about the girls he had encountered before coming here.

It took some time for the students to calm down, but when she continued speaking, Dan was shocked into silence. “That also goes for other students aside from yourself. The list is out for half an hour and the only duo involving Mr. Howell and Mr. Lester has already caused an uproar throughout the whole university, so please think about what you are causing when you speak about information like this next time.”

The rest of the meeting went by in a blur. The professors informed them of the nature of the assignment - the whole thing had pretty much the built-up of a generic talent show. They had to cover one song each week in an open, on-campus concert starting in two weeks. Each week two groups would be voted out by the professors until three groups remained for the finale.

At the end Dan didn’t remember anything the professors had explained to them. He would beg Louise for her notes tomorrow, but that wasn’t the important thing right now.

The important thing was that he was supposed to perform with the one and only Phil Lester - and after a quick facebook check he realized why the name had sounded so familiar. Dan had had a crush on the cute and amazingly talented guitar player performing every saturday in a close-by coffee shop for weeks until he had disappeared. What made it even harder for Dan was the fact that the girls had been right.

The guy had gotten hot as fuck.

Louise’ mumbled keep it in your pants seemed almost impossible to stick to.

~~~~

It took Dan around half a week to stop running from Phil. He kept himself busy with papers not due for at least a few more weeks and working harder for other assignments than he ever had before - he did anything that would make him forget about the short message from Phil awaiting him on whatsapp, where he introduced himself and informed him they were partners. The little dog emoji at the end of the message made him squeal like a schoolgirl, but that was exactly the problem. He had to keep it professional. Which would be difficult considering the increasingly hot pictures Phil posted on his facebook and instagram…

On thursday Dan finally realized he wouldn’t be able to hide from this forever, as he couldn’t afford to fail this class. So he decided to suck it up and went with a generic confirmation and the question to set a time for their first rehearsal as a reply.

On friday Dan was about as nervous as he could be. Fidgeting the entire morning, he changed his outfit for at least five times until Louise threatened to rip his whole wardrobe to shreds if he didn't decide soon. Her teasing didn’t make his job any easier though. He was supposed to meet Phil in less than half an hour in one of the practice rooms in the music building half a campus away and he was dying a little.

“Do you really think I look okay?” he asked Louise, who was seated directly next to him on the bus, anxiously running his fingers through his brown locks. Louise caught his wrist mid-movement and forced his hand back into his lap before she patted it sympathetically. “You look great, Dan. Just don’t behave like the little schoolgirl you’re portraying right now, okay?”

Dan couldn’t get rid of the blush creeping onto his cheeks for the rest of the bus ride.

When he arrived at their booked practice room, Phil wasn’t there yet. Sighing in relief, he let his backpack sink to the floor before moving over to the piano, situated on a little pedestal in front of the window. He took a seat on the stool right in front of it and let his fingers run over the keys testingly. A series of notes rang through the air and he realized delightedly that the piano was pitched precisely.

He let his fingers push the keys purposefully and before he knew it they strung together to one of his favorite songs. He started singing along, just for the fun of it; but he got completely lost in the music. At one point a second voice joined in, harmonizing with him to an unbelievable extend, but he didn’t even realize; it just sounded like it had been there from the start.

Like it belonged there, ringing alongside his own.

Only at the end of the song he realized what had happened. When the last note rang loud through the now deafening silence he whipped around, eyes wide - and met the bluest eyes he had ever seen.

He wanted to avert his eyes, wanted to check who it was, but he couldn’t; for a few moments, he was frozen, lost in time, no connection to reality except for the blue he was drowning in.

The moment shattered like glass around him when some kind of crashing noise pierced in from outside of the room and Dan was finally able to move his eyes.

“That was beautiful,” a deep, melodic voice said and he couldn’t help but stare at the black haired figure standing proudly and tall at the other end of the piano, smiling at him reassuringly.

Dan had to blink a few times and pinch himself covertly, but the picture in front of him stayed the same: Phil Lester, in all his delicious glory, eyes shining so bright Dan was sure he’d need sunglasses.

“It was,” he agreed with a raspy voice, watching wordlessly as Phil made his way over to him. “I’m Phil,” he said, sticking out his hand in front of him and Dan had to gulp down his fast rising excitement. I’ll get to touch Phil Lester!!

When it happened, when their hands touched, he almost flinched back. A warm feeling shot up his arm at top speed and for a second, he forgot how to breathe. Holy shit.

“Dan,” he rasped back, staring up at Phil with wide eyes, not really sure what to do with himself, only one thought ringing through his mind - if touching Phil felt like that , how amazing would kissing him be?

Obviously, the black haired guitar player was not as shocked as Dan. “So, do you think we found our song for the first show?”

Just like that they slipped over into work - and working with Phil, Dan learned, was just as easy as breathing.

~~~

The first week with Phil was like walking on clouds. The numerous holes in Dan’s schedule made for good practice times, and the fact that Phil didn’t have many classes this semester meant that he was there for almost every one of them. Work flowed easily and smoothly and on monday they were already done segmenting the song and deciding who would get to sing which parts.

But not only the work went great, even their voices harmonized like they were meant to be heard together. They didn’t even need transitions between Dan’s singing parts to Phil’s, the changes from line to line went just as smoothly as the ones with longer instrumental intervals between.

Tuesday evening they were basically ready to perform. Dan had his piano playing recorded as a playback to make him more flexible on stage instead of immobile behind a giant instrument. Phil’s guitar skills maybe didn’t quite match Jimmy Hendrik’s yet, but they were definitely up there, and he had the song down to a T. Neither of them had classes the next morning, so as they were leaving the practice room, Dan felt quite courageous from all the adrenaline still rushing through him after a perfect run - and he boldly asked Phil if he wanted to get a coffee somewhere before retiring to their respective dorms.

Ten minutes later they were sat in a coffee shop right off campus. Dan chose a cozy little booth in the corner directly next to the window front while Phil went to get their coffees. When Dan took the first sip of his drink he almost spat it right back out, but instead moved to first eye the drink and then Phil suspiciously.

“How do you know?” he asked, his voice almost high pitched as he narrowed his eyes.

Phil just raised an eyebrow into an almost perfectly shaped curve, looking at Dan questionably as he calmly took a sip of his coffee, not saying a word.

“How do you know my order?” Dan specified and watched incredulously as Phil’s full, kissable lips spread into a wide grin. He could almost picture it, attaching his own lips onto his as they spread into the exact grin before the kisses started to get more serious, more heated, Phil’s fringe messed up, his cheeks red as clothes were coming off…

Oh my god, stop betraying me, goddamn heart.

“I didn’t. I just ordered two of my usual order.”

Phil’s voice ripped him out of his daydream and for a second he couldn’t do much else than stare in stunned silence. “You drink caramel Macchiato, too?” he asked, blinking. Huh. He really hadn’t expected that from a guy as hot as him…

Jesus fucking christ, actually shut the fuck up!

Dan’s attraction to Phil had risen to an unhealthy level by now. Not only was he hot as fuck, no; during their practice time Dan also had had to learn that the guy was smart, funny, lively, and talented as fuck , even more than Dan remembered him to be. Dan was lucky the assignment, and working on the music kept him busy and focused, or else he would have probably jumped the guy by now.

“It’s my all time favorite,” Phil confirmed, his grin transforming into a cheeky smile, and Dan couldn’t keep a blush from dusting his cheeks pink.

“Mine too,” he admitted and took another tentative sip from his drink, purposefully avoiding Phil’s eyes. He knew that if he looked into them now, he would drown in them.

For a few moments it was silent between them, both nursing their coffee, Dan deeply lost in thought about the blueness of Phil’s eyes.

“So, Muse, huh?”

It was Phil breaking the silence and Dan looked up, surprised. It took him a second to realize how Phil had even known he liked Muse , until he realized they had met while singing their song Thought Contagion before choosing it for their first performance. This time he was pretty sure he kept the blush at bay.

“Yeah. I love them.”

Phil’s mouth stretched into a happy smile, his eyes shining brightly, full of honest excitement as he started chattering about them. Dan had to gulp and pinch his hand unsuspiciously to keep himself from losing his mind .

They moved from Muse to Panic! to Fallout Boy to Paramore and even further. Albums became scores, which lead the way to games, movies and TV shows. It was almost scary how much they had in common, how much their interests overlapped, and it actually took Dan a while to remember a question he’d had since he’d heard of the assigned groups.

He used a temporary lull in conversation - one that he could have easily filled with something relatable to the topic they were on, mind you - to finally ask.

“By the way, do you know why we are the only duo?”

Phil raised his eyebrow, a cheeky smile back on his face and Dan knew there was a blush creeping up his cheeks yet again. He couldn’t help but feel like he missed something vital here, but he had no idea what exactly.

“Did you not pay attention at the meeting?”

Dan felt his eyes widen in surprise and blinked, cheeks even hotter than before. “I might have been… preoccupied ,” he admitted and Phil’s smile grew into a full-blown grin.

“Prof. Johnson and Prof. Smith spent like ten minutes explaining,” he informed Dan, “Apparently the numbers didn’t match up and they had to have one duo, so they both chose their best student and realized we would be a good match.” He put special emphasis on the word match and for a second, Dan wasn’t sure if he would be able to stay conscious. Was he just making a joke… Or was Phil Lester really flirting with him?

“We - we are,” he stammered in response and Phil’s chuckling send his heart into overdrive. Oh god. How was he supposed to survive at least 2 more months working with the guy?

“I think so too,” Phil whispered back with a husky voice, making Dan choke on his long cold coffee.

Fuck, these next weeks are going to be torture.

~~~

The next monday morning Dan found himself in yet another on-campus coffee shop, putting the finishing touches on an assignment that was due today. Normally it was a break he would spend with Phil, but he had stuff to arrange with one of his professors, so they decided he would join up with Dan as soon as he was able to. They had managed to get a headstart on this week’s performance by starting working on it on saturday, so they weren’t in much of a rush. They had decided on a song and discussed divisioning on sunday already; it was only practicing left.

Of course the performance on Friday had gone great. They had gotten a lot of applause by the watching students, the little hall on campus used for performances had been packed to the rim, so there had been at least a few hundred watchers. The professors had obviously also been satisfied with their presentation, considering they had informed them they would progress into the next round even before the whole show had been over.

So Dan and Phil had spent their Friday night celebrating. Even though neither of them were really the party going type, they had agreed to go out for a few drinks with their best friends Louise and PJ - who, coincidentally, were in the same group - and Tyler, a music production student Dan had been friends with for years. He had flirted with Phil quite obviously and had teased Dan for his sour mood afterwards, but had assured him that Phil only has eyes for you, you dumbass, pay attention!, coupled with a playful whack on his head.

The memory let Dan grumble absently, but the arriving of a group of students in the booth right behind him ripped him away from his trip down memory lane. “I mean, they’re both bisexual, right?” one of the girls stated while taking a seat, making him peek up immediately. He liked to hear stories about his fellow unicorns and regretted only becoming aware of this conversation after it had already started.

“They are,” a guy’s voice confirmed. Dan was pretty sure he had heard the voice before, but he didn’t have the courage to turn around and check. He was lucky enough to not have been spotted by the group, he really didn’t have to push his luck.

“Have you seen their sexual tension? I know you want to fuck them both, Caleb, but come on.” The female voice was followed by a male groan and the sound of a head meeting the tabletop. “I knowww,” was the answer, “I’m sexually deprived, not blind .”

Dan raked his brain, trying to figure out who they were talking about. Being friends with Louise and Tyler meant that he was mostly up to date with recent campus gossip, and he really wanted to tell them about this later.

“Did you know there’s already a bet going on? About if they’ll be dating by the end of this semester.”

“Which idiot would even bet against that?”

The booth erupted into laughter and Dan furrowed his eyebrows, thinking. He leaned forward, trying to appear busy, but in reality the assignment currently open on his laptop was the furthest thing from his mind.

“Okay, but aside from all that they were the best group, even if it was just the two of them. They’re gonna win this thing, hands down.”

Dan’s eyes went as wide as saucers as realization seeped into him. They weren’t really talking about -

“Absolutely. Thought Contagion was brilliant, I’m so excited to see what they’ll come up with for the next round.”

That was the moment Phil decided to make his appearance, ripping him out of his thoughts almost violently. “Morning!” he said, cheerfully, two cups of steaming coffee in his hands. He pushed one of them over to Dan after he had taken a seat.

A look of confusion, even concern appeared on his face when Dan didn’t react, just continued staring at his laptop screen with his eyes wide open. “Dan? Are you okay? Have you seen a ghost?”

The chatter behind him ended immediately. When he slowly turned around a group of seven people was staring at him, wide eyed. All of them scrambled to their feets as fast as they could. “You’re a cute couple!” one of the girls squeaked out, then they were gone, leaving Dan to explain the situation to Phil.

Needless to say Phil wasn’t fazed at all, instead he used the story to make more flirty remarks, making Dan blush yet again.

Damn, I’m fucked.

~~~~

Almost three months passed by in a rush and by december Dan couldn’t even recognize his life anymore. All the time he had previously spent alone in front of his laptop, browsing tumblr or watching Netflix, converted into Phil-time, slowly but surely. They played games or watched TV-Shows nearly every day after practice. Dan’s roommate had even asked him if he was moving out with all the time he spent away, but Dan couldn’t help himself. Phil lived in a flat near campus all alone. A tiny flat, sure, but it made for the best meetup place, especially for gaming or movie nights or for research about their next song - and it gave them some privacy. Not that much had happened yet aside from the increasingly flirty comments and occasional cuddle sessions, but it still made their friendship easier.

Especially because they were now something like campus-famous and got recognized wherever they went.

So far, they had aced most performances and were through to the last show before christmas break. After New Year’s there was only one show left before the big finale. They were pretty sure they had a good grade secured, but they still gave it their all - they had come so far, there was no way they were giving up now.

In the upcoming show only seven groups were left and it was the first one with two mandatory songs, one optional and one christmas themed, dropping the rock theme just for this once. Since the last week was cut short - Christmas break started on thursday - they had an additional half week to prepare. Dan and Phil had decided on Panic! ’s High Hopes for the first song and Last Christmas for the second and as always, they had been quite fast with their work. They were practiced and basically done on Monday, so they allowed themselves the night off. Phil’s brother was in town and Dan had heartlessly neglected Tyler since the assignment started (his words), basically forcing Dan to spent the night with him.

Fortunately Tyler had a lecture early the next morning, so he wasn’t trying to get himself or Dan trashed. He did, however, made use of the time by grilling Dan about his relationship to Phil.

Dan was a bit annoyed, but at the end of the day he was glad to be able to talk about it, even if he would never admit to that. Louise and her group were still in the run for the finals too, which made her so busy they barely were able to talk for longer than a few minutes at a time - and he desperately needed an outsider’s opinion.

It took him almost an hour to get Tyler up to date on what had happened, all the while getting interrupted by texts from Phil. Right when he was done explaining his phone dinged again, indicating another text.

‘the girl two tables over has a cute lil pup on her lap i keep staring she probs thinks i'm a perv help’ it read and he couldn’t help but chuckle. Tyler inspected him warily from across the table, absently playing with the straw in his half-empty cocktail. “Okay, who are you texting?” he asked then, fixing Dan with a steely gaze.

“Oh, it’s just Phil,” he answered distractedly, typing a quick response before turning his attention back to Tyler. “Why?”

“Are you shitting me?” he asked back, a fitting expression on his face like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Dan just answered with a surprised “huh?”, shooting him a confused look.

“Mate, how dense can you be? You are basically dating the guy, only without the good parts!”

Dan blinked, completely lost now, unable to follow Tyler’s train of thought. “What?”

“You and Phil are dating, Dan, wake up! The only thing missing is the sex!” Dan was stunned into silence, staring at Tyler like he had grown a second head. It took the thought a while to register in his brain, but then he blushed, taking a huge gulp of his drink before calling the waiter over to order another one.

He needed more alcohol for this.

~~~~

The show on wednesday evening went exceptionally well. They had the most fun rocking to High Hopes and got really festive during Last Christmas , with Dan at the Piano and Phil sat on top of it. Their professors called them over and into the next show immediately, making them giddy and high on adrenaline in the process.

The christmas party thrown by the rock music department started directly afterwards and PJ and Louise, immensely proud of their best friends even though their own group had been voted out, insisted on going. Still in an after show rush they agreed, but soon realized why they normally didn’t like parties. It was loud, the room stuffed with people and the food was average at best, and it took them around twenty minutes to revert back to the snacks table, where they hid from the actual party.

When Louise, PJ and Tyler of all people found them, sporting a cheeky expression, Dan knew they were fucked. They were leaning against a wall, talking and laughing with each other as much as the music allowed them to, and only a few people were inspecting them from afar.

“Do you know where you’re standing?” PJ asked when the group was within earshot and Dan raised an eyebrow. “Next to the snacks table where we always are?” he remarked drily, making Phil chuckle next to him.

“Look up!” Tyler singsonged with a high pitched voice and flattered his eyelashes with faked innocence.

Dan perked up immediately. He knew that voice.

He didn’t even need to look up to know what was fixated on the wall over their heads.

“A Mistletoe!” Louise grinned so widely Dan was sure it had to hurt. He turned his attention to Phil, his heart throbbing in his chest on full speed.

There was a cheeky smile on the guitarist’s face as he took a step closer, taking a hold of Dan’s head with both hands. “They want a kiss,” he murmured, lowly, “let’s give them a kiss.”

The second his lips met Phil’s was like a firework going off everywhere inside of his body. For a moment he forgot where he was, hell, even who he was, just continued kissing Phil with passion and lust and love. He didn’t even hesitate opening up his mouth at Phil’s silent request to let him in, too far gone to care - hell, to even realize they had an audience.

The kiss lasted for minutes and it probably could have gone on much longer if there wouldn’t have been a sudden outburst of applause. The blood took a second to reach Dan’s brain after having rushed somewhere south only seconds ago, but when it did, it immediately spread into his cheeks. They broke apart, Dan’s face still in Phil’s hands, silently contemplating the recent event.

He had just kissed Phil Lester. In front of basically the whole rock music department.

Great. Just great.

The applause and whooping didn’t stop soon and he couldn’t do much more then to exchange a long look with Phil. They had a silent discussion Dan himself didn’t know the content of, until suddenly and with no indication there was panic on Phil’s face as he hastily let go of Dan and scrambled to get his phone out of his pocket. It was vibrating violently in his hands and Dan couldn’t even blink by the time Phil rasped out a “Shit! My brother is waiting for me!” and left in a rush.

Dan stood there, staring after Phil until most of the students had averted their gazes from him and went back to whatever they had been doing before. When the ice in his veins freezing him into place finally dissipated, he groaned. He knew Phil’s brother Martyn was picking him up for Christmas with their family, and he wouldn’t be back until january.

Of course. That’s just my fucking luck.

~~~

He spent christmas break in some sort of limbo, like his relationship to Phil was Schrödinger’s cat, platonic and romantic at the same time. He knew the kiss had meant something not only to him but also to Phil, that much had been obvious with the way he had taken the offensive in deepening the kiss and how he had held him afterwards. But that was about the amount of information Dan had, and neither of them mentioned the kiss on any level, so he decided to just ignore the issue for now.

It did made him jumpy and fidgety and mostly unable to focus, though, and only his frequent skype calls with Phil got him focused and concentrated enough to get some much needed work done.

There were only two shows left, but they were only one week apart and both required three songs, so they decided to learn all songs over the break. They spent hours on skype, deciding on the songs and how to play and sing them, so they would be done learning their personal parts until they could meet back up in person.

For a short moment, their reunion was like the sun had risen again. They hugged, soft words of attachment and longing on their lips, but then it was like someone had flipped a switch and they were back in working mode. Phil didn’t mention the kiss and Dan didn’t dare to, so they went back to Status Quo, just like that.

The first show in the new year went okay-ish. Neither of them poured everything into it, already looking forward to the songs they had chosen for the finale, but they still managed to pull through. Their only truly memorable performance was The Black Parade by My Chemical Romance , which they definitely aced, but the other ones admittedly fell a bit flat. Both their professors urged them to not take it too lightly just because they had done so amazingly until now, so they swore to give everything they had in their last performances together.

They were the first group performing in the finale. It wasn’t hard for Dan to get in the mood of their songs, considering they were all pining lovesongs and he would have the one he was pining after up on stage with him, so he was glad they got to go first. It made the waiting and anticipation in between easier, and waiting for the results when they were done didn’t mean much to him anyway - he didn’t care too much about winning.

He just wanted to give his best, pour all his feelings into the songs when he was up there with Phil. He wanted to make it obvious that he meant every word he was singing.

He wanted to get Phil to understand…

In short, he just wanted Phil.

Their first song was a soft piano interpretation of It’s not living (If it’s not with you) by The 1975 , and Dan was so entranced by Phil he forgot to look at his hands while playing. He didn’t make a single mistake, thankfully, but if he would have made one he probably wouldn’t even have noticed. He benefited from the fact that he had practiced the piano part so often on the tiny piano in his childhood bedroom that his parents had asked him to please, please stop.

They spent their break with a bottle of coke huddled together on a tiny sofa backstage, making loose conversation and trying to get their mind off of things. Dan basked in the close physical proximity and simply smiled when Phil just casually took his hand while he talked, playing with his fingers. He had a feeling that things would be going well.

Dan had particularly fun during their next song. The Last Of The Real Ones by Fallout Boy was one of his favorite songs and he connected a lot of the lyrics to Phil. The piano playing was not an issue this time since they had both laid down their playing previously and conjoined it in a track, so he had all the time in the world to focus on Phil, which he took full advantage of. They riled up the crowd so much that Tyler, who had agreed to be the presenter of the night, had trouble getting them back in check for the next group.

During christmas break, far away from Phil and his feelings, their next song had seemed like a good idea. It was romantic, emotional and full of love and Dan couldn’t think of any other song that would make his feelings for Phil more clear than this.

Now, though, it seemed entirely too personal to perform in front of what felt like the whole Uni. During practice he had refrained from building too much of a connection, afraid of taking it too far, but now he didn’t have much of a choice and it made him more nervous than any other performance before. His hands were sweaty, his stomach was rumbling and he was ready to cancel the whole thing when Phil noticed the state he was in.

“Dan,” he whispered, pointedly ignoring the other people lounging around backstage, completely focusing on Dan, “It’ll be okay. You will be okay. And I will be with you, right there by your side the whole time, okay?”

It was in this moment that something settled in Dan’s chest. He returned Phil’s fond look with courage and determination, grasping his hand in his and squeezing it tightly. “Me too. We’re on the same page.”

He was sure Phil caught the double meaning when his look got soft. “I think I always knew,” he answered quietly, almost inaudible. “Let’s do this.”

~~~

Their last performance of this assignment was a complete success. They performed The Only Exception by Paramore sitting huddled together on the little Piano stool in front of the huge piano and didn’t take their eyes off of each other the entire time. It was so emotional Tyler had tears in his eyes when he came on stage, hugging first Phil, then Dan tightly, muttering a soft “go get ‘em, tiger” into Dan’s ear and Dan could feel his heart swelling.

This was it.

Backstage, thankfully, they were alone. Both of the other groups were nowhere to be seen, and Phil obviously noticed faster than him.

Before he even had the chance to turn around from closing the door he was already spun around and pressed against the next hard surface, Phil’s lips attacking his own.

For what felt like ages they were kissing furiously, like they had deprived themselves of this for far too long and now a dam had been broken down, nothing holding them back anymore.

Once they were out of breath Phil separated their lips, lovingly gazing into his eyes instead. “I have waited for this for far too long,” he whispered quietly, softly, his hands on the sides of Dan’s head, his thumbs gently caressing his cheeks.

“Me too,” he mumbled back, drowning in Phil’s eyes and feeling himself falling, falling; falling even deeper in love with him. “I meant every word I sang.”

There was a beat of quiet, then:

“I love you.”

The words were muttered completely simultaneously, and for the single bat of an eye both stared at the other, stunned into silence.

Then they were both dissolving into giggles, holding onto the other to keep from toppling over.

“That,” Phil gasped out, “was so us.”

Dan couldn’t help but agree.

~~~

“Do you really think so, Badiha?”

“I don’t know, Henry, but they did seem smitten during that song, don’t you think?”

“True!”

There was a group of at least five people seated in the booth directly behind Dan’s and even though he wasn’t that much of a gossip he couldn’t help but eavesdrop. He was busily procrastinating the work he needed to do until the next day, refreshing tumblr around ten times a minute, so it wasn’t too surprising the conversation distracted him as soon as it got loud enough for him to hear.

“But they haven’t been seen in public with each other in ages aside from their performances. I just really want them to be happy with each other, is that too much to ask?”

That was the first voice again. Dan allowed himself a short look at the group out of the corner of his eyes and recognized all faces he was able to pick up on. They had all been to the performance Phil and him did twice a week in a near bar ever since their joint assignment last year, he was sure of it. He mostly recognized them because of the person that had spoken first, a girl with the pride flag drawn on her eyelids. He remembered how she had attracted his attention during their first show because of her truly iconic makeup.

“I know, right?!” a male voice joined in and this time Dan didn’t need the information practically jumping into his face to realize they were talking about him and Phil.

After their win in the finale they had decided to keep their relationship at a down low, trying to make themselves comfortable with being boyfriends before they truly made it public. They were still pretty famous throughout the students and the center of the rumor mill, but they had been in a relationship for almost a year now and had only recently realized there was nothing to be afraid of if everybody knew. Most of them would be happy for them, and the rest of them, well -

They’d just have to suck it up.

That was the moment his boyfriend decided to show up. He slid into the booth, taking a seat directly next to Dan, pressing their thighs together. “Morning, love,” he greeted Dan gently, planting a kiss on his cheek before grinning happily. “Busy procrastinating?”

“Yeah,” Dan replied extra loud, grinning right back, “but I’d rather kiss my boyfriend.”

So they shared a short, cute kiss, making the group behind them gasp loudly. “It’s them,” the girl with the pride flag on her eyelids whispered into the silence stretching between them. Dan grinned.

“It is,” he confirmed cheekily, turning around to look at her. “Very iconic Make-up by the way, I like it.”

“Oh my god, thank you,” she answered, a blush becoming apparent on her cheeks and Dan’s grin only got wider before he turned his attention back around to Phil.

“What was that about?” he asked with a raised eyebrow and his head cutely tilted to the side.

Dan pecked him on the lips. “Had to make a point.”

Phil looked back cheekily, a grin on his face so wide Dan was able to see his tongue poking out between his teeth. “A point about what?”

Dan puffed out his cheeks, feigning huffiness. Phil knew exactly what this was about, and they were both aware of that. “You’re an idiot,” he said, pouting.

“Yeah, but I’m your idiot.”

Dan looked at him, eyes full of fondness and adoration and love. “Exactly.”

#phan #phanfiction #phan fluff #phanfic au #my writing

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thomasvol6 · 6 years

Text

Do you remember? // Phanfiction

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: slight swearing, fluff, very light smut

Summary: Dan and Phil have been married for 16 years and one night in bed they decide to re-live their favourite moments together

“Can you sleep?”

“Not really”

“Same”

Phil rolled over to face his husband. They had been married for 16 years now but his heart still did that ‘flippy-over thing’ every time he looked in Dan’s eyes, just like it did the first time they kissed, back in 2009 on the Manchester Eye.

“Do you remember our first kiss?” Phil asked softly, still staring fondly at his husband’s eyes

“Oh so that’s where we’re going?” Dan replied chuckling at Phil’s cheesiness. He sometimes had these moments where he just started being incredibly cheesy and romantic, he had always had them and Dan surely couldn’t complain because he loved them.

“I was just thinking at how far we’ve come…I mean, 20 years ago we were lying on our bed, nervous as hell to publish PINOF 10, and now we are married and we have a 15 years old son and a 5 years old daughter together…time flies” Phil said as he started playing with a curl from Dan’s hair.

“Shit we’re going to die like tomorrow”

“Oh c’mon don’t kill the atmosphere with your sad thoughts”

“You’re right, sorry…by the way yes, I do remember our first kiss as well as our last one”

“Our last o-“ Phil didn’t manage to end his question because Dan had moved slightly forward to give him a quick kiss and rest his head on Phil’s shoulder

“We had been walking around Manchester for hours and decided to go for one ride on the wheel and then go home. You payed for both our tickets even though I had insisted that I wanted to pay and the man at the ticket booth pulled the most annoyed face ever because I wouldn’t stop insisting, so you took my hand and dragged me in our cabin. It was cabin number 22 and we were the only people around as it was a monday evening. You kept staring at me and I was like ‘fuck it’ so I leaned in like I was going to rest my head on your shoulder, but then I kissed you and you seemed so shocked that I was afraid I’d hurt you. You re-arranged my fringe and put your hand on mine and we just stayed like that for the rest of the ride, smiling at each other. Wait- are you crying? Oh baby I’m sorry!” said Dan whilst passing his thumb of Phil’s cheeks to dry his tears.

“I…I just got a little emotional, you made me travel back in time there, you know?” said Phil almost apologising.

“Why don’t you make me travel a bit now?”

“Sure, where do you want to go?”

“Mmh…maybe our first time? Too much?”

“No, not at all. Close your eyes though, okay? So…it was a couple months since our first kiss and you were coming to stay at my house for a whole week! I couldn’t wait to spend all that time with you and I remember our last skype call, the night before you came here, where you were so happy you couldn’t calm down so you ended up not managing to sleep a minute that night, and when you arrived here you were really tired. My mom, bless her, had prepared the guests room for you, even though I had told her that we were together. I’m pretty sure she was just fine with it and it was my dad to be over-protective about the whole thing so he asked mom to set up the guests room, but anyways…Where was I? Oh yes, you were knackered so I asked you if you wanted to just lay on the sofa and watch a movie together. Being geniuses, we watched Wall-e, like the saddest movie ever, and ended up crying like two babies by the end of it. At that point it was about 4pm and we agreed that if we had a nap we would never be able to sleep during the night, so we decided to go grocery shopping and cook dinner, since my parents had gone to visit my aunt up in Scotland for the week. We went out without our coats and regretted it immediately but we were both too lazy to go back up to get them, so we decided to freeze our way to the store. I think we had seen this recipe on TV earlier and for some reason decided to bake a chicken and aubergines pie, so we bought what we needed and practically ran back home as it was really really cold outside, you know, december…

As soon as we arrived home we were so cold that we decided to snuggle on my bed for a while before cooking and so we did, but then you started to tease me putting your hand on my thigh and kissing me. When I realised what you were doing, I started to do the same. I started stroking your thigh going everytime a little bit higher and closer to your crotch, until you started complaining about the teasing. You were the one who had started!”

Dan let out a chuckle at the memory but didn’t open his eyes, he was in full immersion.

“So…the rest you know” Phil stopped himself from telling the whole story because he knew it would have gotten both him and Dan horny and it would have been a mood killer.

“Yeah I do. Did you like it?” said Dan still keeping his eyes closed but smiling from ear to ear

“Of course I did, you dingo! It wasn’t as nice as it is now, maybe, because neither of us were experienced almost at all and especially not with each other, but it was a great first time. I mean, I had only been with a girl before you and let me just say it’s definitely not the same thing!”

“I hadn’t been with anyone before you, actually” said Dan, only at this point opening his eyes to look at his husband’s reaction

“Yeah I know babe, it was so obvious that you lied about not being a virgin!” answered Phil surprising Dan

“What?? You knew? Oh that’s embarrassing!”

“It’s not embarrassing at all! I actually like the idea that I’m the only one who ever fucked you”

“Philip Michael Lester Howell, first of all, did you just say ‘fuck’? And second of all, we’re 50 years old. I think ‘fucked you’ isn’t the best of ways to describe our love making”

“I’ll tell you what, Daniel James Howell Lester, I say whatever the fluff I want!” said Phil not managing to keep a straight face and bursting in laughter. They both cuckled for a while until Phil said “Hey, I want to travel more! Tell me about our wedding pleeeease”

He closed his eyes waiting for Dan to start telling the story but he was surprised by a quick soft kiss, and his blood started to go to his shoulder again as his husband had moved his head onto his own pillow.

“Sooo, let’s go back to 2022, shall we? I remember being so nervous I actually threw up a couple of times the night before and I wanted to call you so bad but I decided to be strong and ended up suffering alone, until my brother came to look for me in the bathroom. He knocked and came in without waiting for any reply and as soon as he saw the mess I was he sat next to me on the floor and put his hand on my knee, like a silent ‘I’m here’. After a couple minutes of silence I said something like ‘I really love him’ or ‘I love him so much’ and Adrian hugged me saying ‘I know you do’. I didn’t sleep a minute that night and was about to text you a million times but I actually only did it once, to say goodnight to you. You replied IMMEDIATELY and I remember thinking that maybe you were in my same situation” Dan stopped to check if Phil was still awake

“I was in the exact same situation, just without the throwing up part, you know my stomach is made of iron!” Phil said keeping his eyes shut.

“Yeah, I know. Anyways, when my mom came to wake me up in the morning she was really excited to see that I was already up and getting prepared. She said she had made pancakes for me downstairs and that my suit had been ironed and was waiting for me in the laundry room. I ate my pancakes and put on the suit, then went to check if Adrian was ready. He was still in his pj’s but the ring boxes were ready and his suit had been ironed too so it was no big deal. As soon as I saw you walking towards me in the wedding garden I completely forgot of any worryings or preoccupations and my heart was filled in with just love. I can’t even remember what the guy who married us was saying because all I could think of was how could you possibly look even more beautiful than usual in that suit. Yet, you did. I still remember, though, my votes. ‘Phil, I promise I’ll always be by your side: when you decide to dress up as punks, when you want to have 3-hour-breakfasts and when you want to live the rest of our lives together. I promise I will do the laundry every saturday as we decided 10 years ago, that I will tell you when I finish the milk and that I’ll take Nuki out for walkies more often. I love you Phil, I’ve loved you since when, back in 2008, I would watch your videos to relax, I loved you when you asked me to move in your flat and I loved you even more when you told me that there was powerful wifi- I mean…when you said that you loved me too’ Jesus, I think I will remember that forever” Dan said with a smile on his face

“That was a wonderful speech, I can imagine you remember that I couldn’t contain my tears, too” replied Phil, him smiling too.

“Your turn again! I want…mmh…the day we finally took Noah home please” said Dan closing his eyes again and settling down

“Okay, soooo 2023. It was the 31st march when they called us from the hospital saying that Noah was arriving. I remember literally grabbing our wallets and keys and RUNNING downstairs like the building was on fire. You almost got killed by a taxi whilst trying to get him to stop, which ended up working, but still! Anyways, we got to the hospital in 10 minutes and ran through the corridors trying to find the room. When we finally found it, room 209, and walked in, we were immediately attacked by the nurses who quickly gave us gloves and and masks and went back to the bed where Lauren was. She seemed really happy to see us but also kind of terrified. Mmmh...I guess it's because a baby was about to exit her ladydoor"

“I cAN'T BELIEVE YOU SAID THAT” screamed Dan pushing himself up with his elbows. He didn't scare Phil, though. He was expecting a similar reaction.

“Shhhhh you're gonna wake Emily!” said Phil, now on his elbows too

“From here it's much easier to wake Noah, Emily is three rooms away!”

“Earlier, when I went to the loo, I checked if the kids were alright and Emily had crawled in Noah’s bed. She’s probably had another nightmare”

“Oh bless her. By the way, our 15 and 5 years old kids sleep together every now and then?? You realise that's parenting goals, yeah?”

“Well my brother and I used to do that every now and then too, but I guess it's because he's only a year and a half older than me"

“Exactly. Plus, 15 is a critical age! You know, he's starting to seriously grow and that kinda scares me"

“First of all, we’re freakishly tall so I don't think he's ever going to be taller than us. Second of all, he's only like 5’5. Third, I'm really scared too. What if he's going to meet someone on the internet and run away with them??”

“Oh you mean like I did? Yeah I hope that doesn't happen”

“You were 19, Dan”

“No, I was kidding” said Dan playing with his husband’s face “Now, can you resume the story telling?”

“Oh yeah right, so Lauren was screaming a lot and I don't know about you but she was holding my hand really tight, I thought it was going to explode!”

“Same"

“But finally, after about 5 minutes, Noah came out, screaming a lot too, and the nurses washed him before giving him to Lauren to breastfeed him. He was perfect, about 3.5 kilos and 50cm long. His big brown eyes stared at us for a bit before closing and then he slept for like 10 hours.

When, three days later, we finally brought him at home, we were both really emotional but his room was so cute! Do you remember it? We had put a tiny little wooden bed and painted the walls of pastel light blue. The floor was a very light green moquette and we had bought those huge Ikea plastic leaves so the whole room looked like a forest.

Being right next to our room, we could (and still can) hear everything he did so for the first couple of months it was really difficult for us to sleep, but then we got used to it and now I don't even notice it anymore to be honest. We were so happy when he arrived home and every free minute we would talk and sing to him our favourite songs, but the only song that managed to make him fall asleep was Interrupted By Fireworks. Do you remember how many times we played it at the stereo? I think probably more than ten thousand times...anyways, I think Noah’s love for books comes from the fact that we used to read to him constantly so hey, that's some good parenting right there!”

“It sure is!” said Dan “My turn, I'm telling Emily’s story.

We had decided, this time, to adopt, so after contacting the agency and signing all those papers and various meetings with various people, we only got to see a photo of Emily in june 2033! She was a week old, so it was the 27th, and she was sooo cute! She had very light blue eyes and very thin,almost white hair. I remember the nurse who was taking care of her telling us to make sure we thought her some Swedish so that she could learn about her origins. I think she knows it pretty well by now, doesn't she?”

“Definitely, plus both her and her brother love Knäckebröd so I think we've done a good job with that too” said Dan, satisfied.

“Yeah...Dan?”

Dan turned on his side to face Phil, as a silent ‘Yes?’

“I love our life. Thank you for giving me all this” said Phil, getting teary again

“Oh baby I love it too. I love our kids, I love our dog, I love our home and I love you, so much”

Phil kissed his husband then went back on his pillow

“Now I'm gonna go make us tea and check the kids, could you go lock the door please?” said Dan getting out of bed

“Sure” replied Phil, him also putting his feet on the floor and slowly standing up to not get dizzy

“I really needed this tea, you know?” said Phil stroking Dan's hand with his

“I think at this point I'm pretty good at reading your mind. Let's see...mmmh...right now you're thinking that you'd like to fuck me" said Dan moving his fingers on his head like he was actually reading Phil's mind

“Hey! You told me off like an hour ago for saying that!”

Dan chuckled and pulled the duvet to his chin, pulling a fake innocent face

“But you're right actually, you are pretty good at reading my mind"

#dan and phil #phan #phanfiction #phandom #dan howell #danisnotonfire #phil lester #amazingphil #phan fluff #phan fiction

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botanistlester · 7 years

Text

Life in Death

Summary: Dan, the God of Death, and Phil, the God of Life, have sex. Except sometimes, embarrassing things happen while Dan has Phil's cock in his ass. Word Count: 3815 Warnings: smut, second hand embarrassment A/N: this is a companion to A Dance With Death and The Flower of Life, but it’s not necessary to read those first to read this. I... have no words. Truly. Y'all liked my death god fics so much that you guys wanted another sequel. Except, you wanted a SMUT sequel. And not just that, but you wanted a sequel where Dan turned into a skeleton during sex. I hate all of you so much. Don't say I don't give the people what you want. So here it is. The most anticipated fic I've ever written. Just in time for autumn as well!

Voted Best Comedy in the phanfic awards 2017!

Read it On AO3!

Dan loved everything about Phil. He loved the way his black hair shimmers in the sunlight, the way his smile got so large that his tongue poked out from his teeth. He loved how Phil had a bright aura around him, shining so brightly as if he were the sun itself. He just loved Phil. A lot. And he wasn’t ashamed to admit it.

But the one thing that Dan liked the most about Phil was his performance in bed.

Over the past few thousand years, Dan’s learned that Phil is amazing in bed. He didn’t know whether that was because he had a lot of practice on Dan, or if he’d had a lot of practice while he was still alive. He had been a prince after all; do princes screw around a lot?

Dan didn’t know, but either way, he was grateful to have Phil all to himself now. He was grateful that he could have Phil fuck him into the mattress for the rest of eternity. Dan was truly a lucky man.

Like now, Dan was incredibly lucky to have Phil kissing down his neck, sucking and biting at his skin to leave red marks in his wake. Phil had this thing where he wanted everyone to know that Dan was owned, that Dan was his for now and forever. Plus, they really enjoyed when Theos would look at the marks and make that disgusted face, just because he hated the thought of Dan and Phil being happy together. It made a thrill go through them at the thought of that.

Phil was so soft, so loving and gentle when he dealt tried to make Dan feel good. His lips were warm against Dan’s cool skin, leaving trails of fire behind that made Dan completely melt underneath him. He was already coming apart at the seams, but that was just what Phil could do to him, he supposed. Dan reckoned that Phil could just blow him a kiss and Dan would probably faint from sheer happiness.

Phil nuzzled his nose along Dan’s chin, breathing against his neck. It made his lips brush against the skin and Dan whimpered, tilting his head to the side to allow Phil more access. Goosebumps rose along Dan’s skin, and Phil chuckled, kissing his throat. “Feel good already?” he accentuated his words with a grind downwards, making Dan squeak as their cocks pressed together deliciously.

A swarm of heat took over Dan’s body, and he couldn’t tell if it was because he did feel good, or because he was just completely embarrassed. “Mm,” Dan breathed, his eyes fluttering shut as Phil bit down on his collarbone, then ground down once more. It was sort of like a game. Bite, grind, bite, grind. It was driving Dan wild.

Dan was already a sweating mess underneath Phil, panting and moaning at the ministrations. Phil’s tongue was talented, that’s for sure, and he definitely knew what made Dan tick, knew the way Dan would squeal if he flicked his tongue over the nub of his nipple, or how Dan’s eyes would roll if he tugged at his hair the right way. In Dan’s opinion, Phil was the best person in the entire universe to have in bed. But maybe Dan was also biased because he’d never been with someone else in such a way before.

It’s no wonder why Phil was the God of Life. Because he was certainly bringing life to Dan’s dick right then.

Phil’s fingers, so slim and steady despite the way Dan was quivering under his touch, unclasped Dan’s cloak. He let it fall over Dan’s shoulders, and Dan sat up so he could take off his undershirt as well, leaving him bare-chested and completely vulnerable. It’d been awhile since anyone aside from Phil had seen Dan unclothed, and he definitely didn’t miss the days when he was a human and clothes weren’t yet a thing.

Now whenever Dan had his clothes off, it seemed to only result in Phil touching him all over, palms hot and heavy on his skin, fingers dancing along the insides of his thighs, gently caressing every inch that Phil could reach.

He always started with those fingers. He would pull at Dan’s hair and inch his way under Dan’s cloak, scritching his nails down Dan’s sides to make him squirm. His lips would soon join, hotly kissing Dan and letting his tongue slip into Dan’s mouth while those sinful fingers fiddled with the button on Dan’s trousers.

“You okay, love?” Phil asked, because Dan had spaced out, his eyes half closed and glossy. He was staring at Phil’s ceiling, the way the galaxy moved in a spiral motion, but he wasn’t actually seeing any of it. He was lost in Phil’s touch, the way Phil was leaning over him, their chests firmly pressed together and one of Phil’s legs between Dan’s thigh. His knee was rubbing circular motions into Dan’s crotch to stimulate him, and it was working.

Damn, Phil knew how to work Dan up.

“So good,” Dan rasped out, leaning into Phil’s touch as he caressed his face with gentle fingers.

Phil was looking at him with an expression of heated fondness, of love, and it was making Dan feel a bit dizzy. “Can I keep going?” Phil asked softly, and Dan didn’t have to be asked twice before he was nodding violently.

And then Phil was kissing him again, nipping at his lips, his thumbs pulling down Dan’s trousers. They had to part so Dan could kick them off, and Phil took full advantage to strip at that time as well, revealing the beautiful expanse of skin that Dan loved so much.

He was pale. So, so pale. He seemed to radiate some sort of light, and he had freckles that dotted along his shoulders that Dan liked to connect with a string of kisses. Dan reached for him again so he could do just that, nipping at his shoulders because he’s always had a fascination with bite marks. Especially bite marks he’d left in Phil’s skin.

One of Dan’s favourite things in the entire universe was being naked with Phil. He liked how Phil’s body was so soft and warm. Dan liked to grab onto his love handles, liked to give them a little squeeze as he ground their dicks together, creating a delicious friction that made them both moan. Phil was so warm against Dan, and Dan focused on the way their chests slid together and the way his own cock was already dripping precum, making a mess out of both he and Phil.

“You’re so wet already,” Phil purred into Dan’s ear, and Dan could do nothing but moan as Phil’s hand finally wrapped around his cock. His thumb swiped through the precum gathered at the tip, and he used that as lube to give his cock a couple of jerks. “You’re so pliant already, too. So hard. Have you been thinking about this all day again?”

Dan moaned, bucked into Phil’s hand, and nodded. “Want you,” he begged, and Phil tsked at him, kissing him softly. The kiss was such a contrast to how he had been handling Dan originally, but Dan always liked a tad of gentleness thrown in there so he didn’t mind. Of course he didn’t.

Phil pushed Dan into the bed, put nearly all of his weight onto him to keep him pinned there. His legs were on either side of Dan’s hips, and Dan kicked a bit out of frustration as Phil took his hand away from his dick. But his frustration didn’t last long before Phil was wrapping his fist around both of their cocks and jerking them off in time together. “A little foreplay never hurt anybody,” Phil reprimanded him. “Be patient. It’s not gonna kill you, you know.”

The joke fell flat in Dan’s current state. The sensation of Phil’s cock pressed up tight against his was almost too much for him. Phil’s dick was such a wonderful thing, in Dan’s opinion. It was thick and a tad longer than Dan’s, which was perfect. That also meant that when Phil was jerking them both off, Dan could feel the head of his cock nudging right beneath the head of Phil’s, creating an entirely different sensation. Phil was leaking precum too, and it made for a great lube. The thought of their cum mixing together, Phil’s hand using it as lube to jerk them both off, made Dan’s toes curl and his head throw back against the pillow.

“Ph- Phil, please,” Dan gasped out. He felt as though he were suffocating. “Please just fuck me already. I need you so bad.”

Phil hummed, thinking about it. His hand came to a slow, steady pace, which made Dan whine even more. He tried to squirm, but Phil kept him trapped firmly in place with his own body. “Suck me off first,” Phil ordered. “I need your pretty little lips wrapped around my dick. Suck the life out of me, yeah?”

Through his haze, Dan picked up on the pun and he glared at his lover, shaking his head. “Now’s not the time for stupid pun- oh!” Dan gasped out suddenly, stopping mid sentence as Phil’s hand went a bit lower until he was pressing a dry finger against Dan’s entrance.

He rubbed a little bit at the rippled skin, rubbing circles there to stimulate Dan as he ground their cocks together. “Don’t talk back to me,” Phil ordered, and Dan nodded. “But since you’re so impatient today, I’ll let you off a bit and finger your pretty hole while you suck my cock.”

Dan could have shouted for joy at that very moment. He scrambled out from under Phil to grab the lube from his bedside table, tossing it at him. “You don’t want me to morph into a girl today, right?” Dan teased, because they’d tried that once and it was one of the strangest experiences of Dan’s life.

Phil dropped the dominating act for a moment and let out a giggle, shaking his head. “Shut the fuck up! I’m trying to be sexy,” he whined. Dan didn’t want to make him smug, so he didn’t mention that it was definitely working. As usual. “I just want you as your pretty self today. You’re perfect.”

Dan didn’t dare mention that his actual self was a skeleton, because then that’d probably ruin the mood. So instead, he stayed quiet and climbed on top of Phil, knees on either side of Phil’s shoulders and his own face inches away from Phil’s delicious cock.

“Ready, love?” Phil asked quietly, and Dan gave his consent by taking the tip of Phil’s cock into his mouth.

He moaned at the taste. The wonderful saltiness exploding on his tongue. Phil was arguably one of the tastiest things in the universe, and Dan could probably suck him off for hours if his jaw didn’t lock up from Phil’s girth.

He sucked Phil down with vigour, his tongue laving at the skin, lapping at the precum that collected at the tip. Meanwhile, Phil lubed up his fingers and began to tease Dan’s rim before pushing his index finger inside.

Dan pulled off of Phil’s dick slightly to let out a breath, nuzzling into Phil’s thigh. He always loved Phil’s fingers, how they were so long and delicate and knew exactly where to press that would make Dan keen. Phil pressed kisses to Dan’s inner thighs, occasionally biting, and Dan could feel his own cock absolutely dripping with anticipation.

“Keep sucking,” Phil murmured against his skin, and Dan couldn’t disobey. He shuddered as Phil crooked his fingers in just the right spot, pressing against his walls, before he inserted another finger to stretch Dan open.

Dan took Phil in his mouth again, taking in as much as he could. Phil’s hips bucked slightly, forcing him just that little bit further into Dan’s mouth until his dick was nudging the back of Dan’s throat. Dan gagged, but he refused to cough even though his eyes were watering. He liked this. He liked choking on Phil’s dick. It made him even wetter, if possible.

Phil finally inserted the third and final finger, beginning to scissor Dan open. It made him feel more prepared, like he was completely ready to take Phil’s dick. He knew that this was going to make him see stars, and he couldn’t deny how wonderfully excited he was. But then again, he was always a slut for Phil’s dick.

“Think you’re ready for me?” Phil asked again, patting Dan's thigh. He kissed Dan’s asscheek too, a friendly and loving peck that made Dan feel warm all over. He was such a good partner to have in bed, one that truly cared about what his partner was feeling and wanting.

Dan’s answer came in the form of scrambling off of Phil and turning himself around. He laid on top of Phil, his expression wanton and full of love. He probably looked like everything that Death wasn’t. Rosy cheeked, eyes full of fondness, completely falling apart at the seams. A horny Death.

Phil cupped his cheeks with both of his hands and kissed him, their lips moulding together and making Dan feel whole. Phil was his other half, and being with him like this was the absolute best thing in the world. They kissed for another moment, Dan’s eyes watering for no reason other than the fact that he was so full of adoration, until they became too antsy. Phil needed to be inside of Dan. Right now.

Dan didn’t want to think about the last time when they’d waited to have sex and Theos had decided to kill someone off in that moment, forcing Dan to disappear out of the room with a suddenly-empty ass, and a Phil who had to finish himself off with a lonely hand.

Dan reached behind him and grabbed Phil’s dick, lubing it up and guiding it to his hole. He felt the tip circling his rim, and he quivered in anticipation. Phil leaned up and kissed his cheek as he pressed in, stretching Dan wide to accommodate his size. Dan moaned and dropped his head, his eyelashes fluttering and his chest turning the same shade as cherry blossoms. Phil was whispering in his ear, telling him how good he felt, how well he was doing, how Dan took his cock so well.

Dan lowered himself until Phil had completely bottomed out, buried inside of him to the hilt. Dan could feel inch by inch pressing against his wall, so warm, making him so full. He always became the biggest baby whenever Phil’s dick was inside of him, babbling and whimpering, actual tears sometimes falling down his cheeks. He just couldn’t help it Dan had truly never known pleasure until he’d first had Phil inside of him.

“Can I move?” Phil murmured after a moment, and Dan could tell that he was struggling to stay still. His hips were quivering, and Dan could feel his dick pulsing inside of him, his hands squeezing tight to Dan’s hips.

“Please,” Dan choked out, and then Phil let himself go.

His hands, that were originally grabbing onto Dan’s hips, were now wrapped around the small of Dan’s back. Dan fell forward and Phil held him to him, keeping him in place as he pulled out slowly, oh so slowly, before slamming back inside. Dan could have sworn his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he made the squeakiest noise ever, something between a moan and a whimper. It was just that Phil was pressing into him so well, and it made him want to just let Phil pound into him for all of eternity.

If only the other gods could see Dan now. He probably looked like Adoré with his doey eyes and rosy cheeks. He was certainly as loud as Leonidas and Theos whenever they were fucking, and he had no doubt that they were going to get called out as soon as they left the room. Lucky for them, they didn’t have to see all of the marks Phil had left in his wake, literally Dan’s chest and thighs. He always made sure to wear his cloak hood extra high those days, because Phil apparently couldn’t maintain a serious work demeanor and not leave marks on him. The other gods always liked to take bets on who would top in their relationship, most of them agreeing that Dan would definitely be the one topping considering how edgy he was. Little did they know, Dan actually liked having Phil’s monster cock shoved inside of his ass.

Phil held Dan down, biting into his collarbone, as he slammed his hips up in just the right way that made Dan keen. He hit a spot inside of Dan that made him arch his back, giving his own neglected cock some friction. He was leaking all over their stomachs, so wet, but they didn’t pay any mind to it as Phil continued to pound into him.

“Ph-Phil-!” Dan whined, burying his hot face into Phil’s neck. The emotions, the sensations, were getting to be too much for him and he started to cry, the tears dripping down his cheeks and landing on Phil’s naked shoulders. He wasn’t crying because he was in pain, no, but because it just felt so good that he couldn’t keep it in any longer.

Phil grunted and released his arms from around Dan’s back. He flipped them over to give them a new angle, so he could hit Dan’s prostate with each thrust, so that he was pounding so deep inside of Dan that Dan began to writhe. “You good?” Phil moaned, kissing Dan’s forehead. He always did this when Dan started crying, although by now he was definitely aware that Dan wasn’t crying because he wanted to stop.

“Mhm,” Dan managed to get out, but his eyes were glossy and he couldn’t seem to keep his hips still. He reached between his legs to give himself some much needed relief, the touch making him seeing stars. He was arching his back, his head thrown back, his eyes closed, and his mouth was gaping open with pleasure.

“Stay still,” Phil whined, and he grabbed Dan’s hips again to keep him in place. With that, he didn’t take mercy on Dan. He began to slam into him so hard that the headboard rattled against the wall and the sounds of their thighs slapping together.

At this point, Dan was far gone. All he could focus on was the pleasure that had taken over his body, making him boneless, making him a creature of pleasure. He felt like a succubus, taking energy in the form of sex, taking energy from Phil’s dick. He was close already and it bothered him because he wanted to keep going forever. But he couldn’t, and that sucked.

Thankfully, Phil was close too, and Dan could tell by the way that his hips had started to stutter, his thrusts becoming sloppy. He had this beautiful red blush over his cheeks and his aura glowed so bright that Dan could barely keep his eyes open anymore. Well, he had already been having trouble keeping his eyes opened due to pleasure, but this was certainly adding to it.

With one more thrust into Dan’s prostate, Dan inhaled a breath, and then let out a long whine as he started to cum. His vision went completely white and his head dropped onto the pillow. He was moaning, gasping, writhing on the bed, and not even Phil’s hands on his hips could keep him still. He was completely at peace, the best feeling in the world had just hit him like a freight train.

He didn’t even realise that his skin had melted away with his good vibes until Phil began to groan in frustration, even though there was a little bit of laughter coming out of his throat as well.

Dan cracked open his eyes and looked down, to see that his physical body had dissipated, leaving behind a skeleton, and Phil had literally came on his bones. Where his ass used to be was now just his pelvic bone. Thankfully, Phil had pulled away before any harm could come to him and that beautiful dick, but apparently he had been so close to orgasm that he couldn’t hold it back.

Now, Dan was a skeleton. A skeleton with a smatter of white cum smeared all over his pelvic bone. And the only thing he could think was not again.

“I’m so sorry!” Dan squeaked, scrambling up. He tried to conjure up his physical form again, but he was still theoretically boneless and couldn’t wrap his head around what had happened, so his body stubbornly stayed in his natural form.

Phil didn’t seem to care. He was laughing so hard that his face had gone bright red and his eyes were shining like the aura surrounding him. He was still naked, his cock growing soft, still slick with cum and lube. “I can’t believe-!” he started, shaking his head and bursting into another round of laughter.

Dan glared at him and sat up enough so that he could smack Phil with his boney hand. “Shut the fuck up! You know I can’t help it sometimes!”

It didn’t stop the laughter. Phil was laughing as he grabbed a towel. He was laughing as he wet it under the sink. And he was laughing as he came over to start to clean off Dan’s bones so he was free of cum. And other sticky substances.

Dan just pouted as best as he could and sat back, allowing Phil to clean him up. When Dan had gotten enough time to relax his brain and gain his breath back, only then was he able to conjure up his physical form, glaring at Phil as the laughing continued.

“You are the worst person ever,” Dan told him flatly. “I never should have saved your ass all those years ago if you were going to make fun of me for something like this.”

Phil snorted and sat next to him on the bed. He opened his arms wide, and because Dan was weak, he cuddled into his arms with only a grumble and a sad whine. Phil was just really warm and he appreciated it so much because Dan, himself, was pretty cold in comparison. “You know I love you,” Phil said. HIs voice was so tender that it made Dan melt. Not literally this time, thankfully.

Dan sighed but leaned up to kiss Phil on the lips. “I love you too. Especially because you don’t blink an eye when I turn to a skeleton during sex.”

“I definitely think it’s weird, but I love you so I put up with it.”

#phan #phanfic #phanfiction #fanfic #ffanfiction #botanistlester #botanistfics #crackfic #phan crack #phan smut #smut #death god #death god au

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rebeccalynndufresne98-blog · 6 years

Text

Afternoon Tea (part 3)

Sorry it took me so long to post this I just couldn’t decide how I wanted to write this part, but I’m happy with how it turned out.

I moved the time frame up a few weeks after Dan confesses his feelings and it’s still a slow burn but more of she starting to have feelings but she’s in denial about them type of slow burn.

Warnings: cussing (only a little bit)

—————————————————————

It’s been weeks since Dan confessed his feelings to me, and in these few weeks we’ve gotten a lot closer. We’ve began to really open up to one another about everything. It’s nice to have this type of connection with him, but I’m still not sure if I have any romantic feelings towards him. I feel like I’m leading him on; getting his hopes up, but that is the last thing I’m trying to do. I care very deeply for Dan and I wish I could just hurry up and have these feelings he wants me to have, but I just don’t know what I’m feeling right now. I know I’ve been feeling differently about him and I get tingles every time he looks at me or even when he texts me, but I’m not sure if it’s a romantic or platonic feeling.

“Speaking of him,” I say out loud to myself seeing that Dan has texted me. Those tingly feelings arising as I read his text.

Dan: Hey Y/N Phil and I are actually going outside today. We are going to that winter wonderland place with PJ and Sophie and we were wondering if you’d like to come with?

Y/N : Yeah sure! Do you want me to meet you guys there?

Dan: You can come to Phil and mine’s we are all meeting up here so we can go as a group.

Y/N: Okay! See you in a few!

Y/N: wait what time are we going? I forgot to ask lol

Dan: I think in about an hour

Y/N: cool I’m going to get ready and then I’ll head right over

Dan: Ok see you then!

I set my phone down on my bedside table. I get out of bed and go to my closet to pick an outfit. I pondered at what I wanted to wear, finally deciding on simple black skinny jeans and an oversized cream colored sweater. I paired it with my black booties and my black jacket. I left my hair in its natural state only brushing through it. I decided to do light makeup this time adding a pink matte gloss lipstick. I looked in the mirror and decided I like how I looked, so I grabbed my purse, phone, phone charger, and my keys.

I knocked on their door waiting to be let in. As I was waiting I began to reminisce on all the times I’ve been over here and all the good memories with both Dan and Phil.

My thoughts were cut short when the door opened revealing Phil.

“Hey Y/N! Wow you look lovely. Sorry it took me forever to get to the door I was talking to PJ and Dan was being lazy and didn’t want to get it.” Phil laughed.

“That’s okay, and thanks you look lovely too.” I smiled at him. We joined the group in the lounge. They seemed to be in a deep conversation when we walked in. They suddenly fell silent once we entered the room only to be broken by PJ a few seconds later.

“Hello Y/N!”

“Hey PJ! I haven’t seen you in what feels like forever!” We hugged hello.

“Hi Sophie! How are you?” I asked my friend.

“I’m good! How are you Y/N?”

We had a long conversation when Dan stated we should leave before the winter wonderland closed. We rode in PJ’s car with him driving, Sophie in the passenger seat, Phil behind her, me in the middle, and Dan behind PJ. We finished our conversation about some conspiracy theory Phil read about as we pulled up to where we were headed.

“Yay, we’re here!” Phil and I said in unison causing everyone to laugh.

“You two are such children I swear!” Dan said rolling his eyes and with a light chuckle.

“Whatever I know you are just as excited as we are!” I exclaimed sticking my tongue out at him.

“Yeah alright you got me. I am really excited!” Dan admitted. I smiled fondly at him.

We’d been walking around this little fair ground for a few hours talking about everything and nothing all at once when I got this sudden urge to hold Dan’s hand. I didn’t though, but man do I want too. We were walking side by side our hands would slowly brush up against each other and every time they did I want to grab his hand a intertwine our fingers. It’s an innocent thought, but it got me thinking ‘do I have feelings for Dan?’ I pushed the thought aside thinking to myself, ‘no holding hands can be a platonic thing it doesn’t mean anything. I probably just want to hold his hand because our hands keep brushing against each other.’ That had to be it, right?

We continued our stroll when PJ, Sophie, and Phil wanted to go ride one of the rides. Dan and I waited behind not really up for any rides right at that moment.

“Are you having fun?” Dan looked down at me.

“Yeah, this has been one of the best nights of my life honestly. How about you? Are you having fun?”

“Yeah I am.” Dan didn’t sound too sure of himself with his response.

“What’s wrong?” I inquired.

“Nothing. I-It’s nothing.”

“No Dan don’t do that. I can see something is bothering you and I’m not going to force you to tell me anything but don’t dismiss how you feel. It’s okay to say something is bothering me but I’m not ready to talk about. I’ll still respect your wishes and not pry.” I lectured.

“I know.” He seemed hesitant to say anything else.

“I want to tell you what’s bothering me, but I don’t want this night to become awkward because it is a really good night.” Dan expressed. I began to think that he wanted to tell me how he couldn’t handle our friendship anymore. That it was all too much for him. I began to get sad and worried. I really want to be his friend.

“I’m sure whatever it is won’t make tonight awkward, but whenever you’re ready to tell me I’ll be here to lis-“ I was cut off by Dan beginning to speak.

“I’ve met someone. I really like her and we’ve gone out on a couple of dates and I don’t..... I felt weird keeping it from you. I know we aren’t and never have been a thing but I don’t know I just felt like you should know.” Dan rambled speaking in a fast pace.

“Oh.. um.. okay.. cool.. is she..

Is she nice?”

“Yeah she’s really nice.” Dan said.

‘WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!’ I thought to myself. When the hell did he start talking to someone? When and how did they even meet? Why am I so jealous right now? I need to calm myself down before I finish this conversation.

“Oh that’s good. Hey um I-I need to go to the bathroom so I’ll be right back, okay?”

“Yeah um okay.”

I walk into the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. As I gazed at

myself I began to wonder why I was feeling so upset over the fact that Dan had met someone. I mean it’s not like we are dating or have dated, so why is it bothering me so much? I’m not jealous or anything I just don’t understand how he could be with someone when he claims to have feelings for me. I hate that I feel this way; I hate that I can’t explain why I feel this way. Sophie enters the bathroom and walks up to me.

“Y/N are you okay?” She asked concerned.

“Yeah I just- I just needed a break from the crowds is all.” I lied.

“Okay, well I think we are getting ready to leave and head back to Dan and Phil’s to watch some movies and have dinner.”

“Okay let me just wash up and I’ll be right out there.” I smiled.

“Okay!” She walked out of the bathroom leaving alone again. I washed my hands and left soon after.

Once I approached them we headed back towards the car. I was caught up in my thoughts when Phil said my name.

“Y/N,” Phil started, “we were talking about watching a Christmas movie when we get back to mine and Dan’s place. Which one do you vote for?”

“Um, I like the Santa Claus movies or the grinch or home alone or polar express!” I chimed.

“Okay! We can just have a Christmas movie marathon tonight!” Pj chuckled joining mine and Phil’s mini conversation.

We got back inside the car and headed back to Dan and Phil’s. The only noise was the radio playing softly. My phone vibrated in my pocket signaling a text notification.

Dan: you okay?

Y/N: yeah why wouldn’t I be?

Dan: I don’t know you just seemed a bit off when I told you, and you rushed off to the toilets so I don’t know.

Y/N: I’m fine I just had to pee is all.

I locked my phone and tried to ignore Dan’s stare. He was looking at me knowingly. He knew I was lying and I was upset about his news; he just didn’t know why I was upset.

#daniel howell imagine #dan howell fic #dan howell fanfiction #danisnotonfire #dan howell x reader #daniel howell smut #dan howell smut #dan howell imagine #daniel howell #dan howell #daniel howell x reader #dan howell fluff #daniel howell fluff

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phillipcole · 4 years

Text

Post-AGT Appearance 1099: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert October 20

Impossible, improbable, unlikely but True would drop to 84 and Forever’s getting closer every Day would drop to 63 this week, but with new life as Rush Limbaugh and Jeff Bridges would use the theme with their respective health updates. Time of our Lives would rise to 86.

My efforts to promote the Libertarian Party would have tripled the membership by now, however the membership would have slipped slightly early this year as some became Democrats or Republicans to vote in the primaries and forgot to change back. The majority of those would have voted in the Republican primaries, giving William Weld a lot more delegates but not close to a victory. Among the Democrats the most popular choice would have been Bernie Sanders, but some would vote for others, especially for outsiders like Yang and Steyer. The change in totals would have resulted in Biden winning 3 fewer primaries and Sanders still within striking distance when he dropped out, scared of Covid 19 (over which I would have no influence until the Shaco masks started saving lives this summer.) So the same candidates would be nominated and Libertarian Jo Jorgenson, with poll numbers about 5% when her name is mentioned in polls, would not be allowed to debate and only a few more interviews.

By tonight I would have been heavily dosed with cough syrup, making me dopey for the interview with Stephen Colbert. He too would show the clip of my scene before the break to give one uninterrupted interview late in the show.

Colbert: Welcome back. Before the break I showed a clip of our next guest Phil Cole in his upcoming feature Attack of the Lysol Rabbit, direct to video October 29. We’ve got a lot to talk about so let’s get to it. Are you there Phil?

PBC: Yes I am.

Colbert: And where are you

PBC: Somewhere on a beach in California.

Colbert: Is everyone alright?

PBC: We’re better now, but...uh...we all had breathing trouble for a while from the wild fires.

Colbert: By everyone you mean...

PBC: Myself and the Variety Team, wife, son, stepdaughter, and a lot of the staff (cough).

Colbert: Not fully well yet, I see. We’ve got a lot to talk about and only one segment. As we talk...we played a clip from the movie before the break-your scene-now we’re going to play another clip with the sound down. It’s the 2 leading ladies,Katie Cassidy and Haley Pine, talking about the leading man. We’ll play it with no sound as we speak and see if the audience notices anything. Play close attention. Start the clip. So Phil, you wrote the script, helped direct, produced and acted in this movie. That’s most of the Orson Welles treatment. How does it feel to be compared to Orson Welles?

PBC: As long as it’s not for weight or...pompousness, I guess.

Colbert: And the Lysol Rabbit, I notice the title character is absent from all the clips you’re sharing.

PBC: That’s right, Steve. I want to...emphasize the...uh...the talents of the actors and crew. This is almost an art house movie really. There is a stage version which was supposed to start performing in little theaters all over the world this month, but Covid sunk those plans.

Colbert: Was the Lysol Rabbit your idea?

PBC: Yes and I think it’s fantastic that I got the company to agree to the product placement.

Colbert: Ha ha ha I got the pun. You are just gushing with cleverness. So now we are approaching the end of that little clip of the 2 ladies and maybe you can tell me, was the camera angle your idea?

PBC: Yes it was.

Colbert: If you didn’t notice folks, for...someone timed it at 68 seconds the camera was pointed straight at the 2 young ladies’ legs. This is highly unusual, even in porn movies I think.

PBC: We spent enough time on their faces in the film too. You didn’t play the sound but that scene and another spent a long time talking about fashions. It’s set in the 60s and it had to be for other reasons.

Colbert: Very good. So your family is feeling better. How is Phillip?

PBC: Still in a coma.

Colbert: Do you think that might change soon?

PBC: Well, there might be some news in a couple weeks that could help.

Colbert: Does that mean you’re voting for Joe?

PBC: Yes, Jo Jorgenson, Libertarian candidate for President. Our party represents the best ideal of Republicans: low taxes, and the reason many people are Democrats: no limits on personal liberty.

Colbert: That’s enough! Every time you come on our show you have to eliminate one suspect from the last name on Phillip’s sick list. Here’s the list of people you eliminated in past visits, and here’s the list of present suspects. In first place is Hillary Clinton, followed by Jane Fonda, Nancy Pelosi, Rush Limbaugh. Chuck Shumer rounds out the top 5. Looking further down the list we have Ruth Bader Ginsburg at 11 even though she’s already dead...

PBC: The person is alive folks. We’ll let you know if that changes.

Colbert: Woody Allen is 15th even though you eliminated him on this show. o. J. Simpson is 21st even though he’s already on the list, as is Howard Stern at 26th. Last week you were on the Drew Barrymore Show. Does that mean she’s not a suspect?

PBC: That changes nothing.

Colbert: She’s at number 31 and look at number 34. That’s me! So who are you eliminating today?

PBC: Shirley Maclaine.

Colbert: Let’s see. Is she on this list? Yes, there she is at number 23. You’re not making this too much easier for the bookies of the world?

PBC: I hope no one is spending too much money on this.

Colbert: Normally each member of your team, even Phillip when he was able, told why you don’t like the person. I know that’s not possible but give some reasons.

PBC: Mostly we object, not just to her belief in reincarnation, but the idea that she was some type of big shot in each past life. Folks, if reincarnation happens to be true most lives were spent as a peasant farmer, because there are more peasant farmers than anything else.

Colbert: So Shirley Maclaine joins the list of people who are not on the list of possible last names on Phillip’s sick list. Thank you Phil, we’ll see you again with the next development.

PBC: You’ll be the first to know.

Colbert: We’ll be right back.

#stephen colbert #shirley maclaine #katie cassidy

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jnnmtl-blog · 6 years

Text

U N T I L T R I L O G Y -- a must read book 💕

Until He Was Gone

Until He Returned

Until Forever

The Until Trilogy which was written by the amazing and incredibly awesome Jonah Pacala or was known by her pen name jonaxx in the world of wattpad. Her fans gave her nicknames such as “The Royal Writer”, “Queen J” or “Ate J”and she was the first Filipina wattpad writer to gather more that three million votes.

Being friend-zone sucks, being seen-zoned hurts but being cousin-zone is a different story.

Have you ever thought of you falling to your cousin? Or sometimes the thought of you falling to your cousin passed through your mind? Well, if yes, start having goosebumps.

Incest is, according to wikipedia, and has been one of the most widespread of all cultural taboos, both in present and in many past societies. It is some sort of attraction between your family members or any close relatives. It remains one of the sensitive issues in our society until today.

The Until Trilogy has a ‘incest themed story’. But aside from that, many revelations,realizations,life lessons,heartbreaking scenes,twists of events that will make you thrilled happened. You will got swayed from all the romantic excitement and you will wish that you want to be Klare, that you want to have an Elijah in real-life. You will experience all the ‘demons in your stomach’ as said by Klare, the protectiveness of your cousins, the happiness being a Montefalco, enjoyment everytime you and your cousins bond at your house or sometime at Lifestyle District. But of course, you will cry a lot to the heartbreaking scenes, like you are the one feeling the pain, and swear it will be worth reading the trilogy.

I’ll just tell a summary so that you’ll have a prior knowledge.

Klare Montefalco was born in well-known family. Everything was perfectly fine. She loves her famile, and her family loves her so much.She lives a simple life, away from the dramas, having an ultimate crush which is Eion Sarmiento.She does everything to notice her. Before her debut, he asked Eion if he can be her escort and he agreed. Debut came, Eion became her escort. After her debut, Elijah acts so weird in front of their cousins. He knows why is that, and he’s just keeping it to himself.But the time he can’t contain his jealousy against all the guys around Klare, he confessed to her. Klare is shocked by the confession.Starting that day, she’s confused on her feelings towards Eion and Elijah. But she decided to let go of Eion cause she already fall to Elijah to. They dated secretly until their cousins came to know their doings.They resented them,and the time came that their parents also came to know what they’ve done. The parents of Elijah want to sent him to New York, to forget and separate him with Klare. But he was eager and determined enough to not give up Klare. But Klare made her choice, he pushes Elijah away, and she chose her family and their reputation over him. He was hurt, really hurt but what can he do? The one he love was the one who pushes him away and give up on him.He went to New York for 2 years.

After 2 years, finally he came back to Philippines. But with a girl named Selena. They were in a relationship,that’s what they know. And that news broke Klare into pieces. Finally he came back, but with another girl. Little did she know, Elijah came back because of her. He just used Selena so that her dad will let him go back to the Phil. He knows what happened to Klare, of what struggles she overcome. After Klare pushed Elijah away, she was shocked of the damn reality. She was not a Montefalco. She find out that she was child out of wedlock and she thought that she was a mistake but her mother insisted that she was the fruit of their love from another man, Ricardo Ty. Her biological father wants to have a quality time with her so temporarily, she stayed on her father side, meeting her 2 brothers, Hendrix and Pierre Ty. Until she decided to change her surname to Ty. That time, she was now Klare Desteen L. Ty. And because of that, their cousins hated her for doing that. But as time passes by, they actually accepted it but still considered her as their cousin. But another problem came, and that is her ama(grandmother) on his father side. Her Ama don’t want to accept her in the family. Klare also come to know that Selena is her relative and her Ama match-make Selena with Elijah and it’s fine to her if he is not a Chinese because of his family,which is rich.

Then the last book, Until Forever, half of the book is the POV of Elijah. It was a flashback. On how he fell for Klare. On what his thoughts are. Not to mention it above but the whole two books were in the POV of Klare. Then on the last half of the book is Klare’s POV. There’s one problem again that almost destroy their relationship and that’s because of her Ama. She wants Klare to at least date or get along with Gavin, a son of a Chinese businessman who is close to Ama. Ama was too strict to their traditions. ‘Chinese is only for Chinese’. She wants Klare to marry a Chinese also. Gavin and Klare have a deal. Klare will help Gavin because he have a girlfriend but he is too scared to disappoint his father so he kept it. It went well, at least. Then on Ama’s birthday, the Montefalcos were invited, including Elijah’s dad. In the midst of the celebration, Ama introduces Klare in front of the father and grandfather of Gavin. But Klare cut it out and said that she have a boyfriend. When they ask who it was, she answered with all bravery “ Elijah Montefalco po”. That’s the cue. She pulled th e trigger. The tension was too strong. She stand up on her decision and no one can changed that. She said it in front of everyone and to Elijah’s dad. Elijah stand behind Klare and nod to Klare’s parents, brothers, to his parents and to his cousins. After that, he kneeled in front of Klare, not minding Ama, and showed the red box with a diamond ring. Klare gasped. She’s not moving nor talking so Elijah was the one who put the ring in her fingers. Then they moved out of the venue with their cousins. After that incident, their parents want them to go abroad because they know that the news will spread and the society will judged. But they insisted to stay until Klare will graduate. The end.

1. What life lessons can be learned?

*”We don’t always like their decisions but as their family,the best thing we can do for them is to support” as said by the father of Elijah which is true. Our family is the only one we know who can understand and support us all the time.

*”The world is a cruel place. You don’t just get what you want immediately, you will need to break some principles, break some people and even break yourself” as said by Klare and again true. World is cruel place, not all people can understand you unless they will be in the same situation as you are.

*Don’t let society dictate your decisions. They’re not the one who will suffer all the pain in the decision they want you to do. You have your own principle. Don’t mind them.

*you two are going to be together if it’s meant to happen. That’s right. If you are meant to be, then don’t rush it. Destiny will be the one in charged of that. Go with the flow. Think of the positive side.

2.What part was the most powerful and enduring?

* It is when all the secrets are revealed. When the two of them suffer a lot and needs to push each other in the name of their reputation as a Montefalco just to find out that the’re not blood related. But it was too late.

3. Who was your favorite character?

*Klare Ty and Elijah Montefalco. Why? Because even though I didn’t experienced such, if I am to wear their shoe, I know to myself that it’s so painful. If I were to be Klare, maybe I’ll get depressed and decided to end my life. But she still fighted for their love. Anf to Elijah to surpass all their hardships just to prove theirlove to everybody is such a bravery.

4. Did anything happened in the book remind of something similar?Cite this event.

*Nothing in the book remind me of something similar. I swear guys, read the Until Trilogy of jonaxx, and it will be worth that you spend time readig it because of the plot/story. It will bring you the ultimate romantic excitement but also tickle your tears to flow.

5. If you had a chance to ask a character from the book a question, what would it be?

*To Klare and Elijah, what happened after that?That was sooooooo cliff-hanger, I can’t think of what happened after that huhu. Did you have a child? Was it a girl or boy? Does it looks like Klare or Elijah? Ugh, one question is not enough for me. Sorry for that.

#until he was gone #until he returned #until forever

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demonphannie · 7 years

Text

7,500 Kilometers

read on ao3

summary: 7,500 kilometers is a pretty large distance to bridge but Dan and Phil are trying. Or rather their cell phone connection is. It’s 2013 and Dan’s in India.

words: 2.3k

warnings: swearing and a spider

a/n: uh i just banged this out in two hours because i hadn't read any fics based on this point in time so enjoy

Dan’s phone is pretty quiet most days. He doesn’t keep the notifications on for most of his apps because they cause too much clutter. Usually the only time his screen lights up is when a random family member or Phil is calling.

India is hot. And Dan says this every time (he really means it this time) but it’s hotter than any other time he’s visited. If he stares at the flora surrounding the hotel for long enough, he swears he can see them sweat. Maybe he’ll regret not joining his family on another adventure through another forest later, but right now his cotton bed sheets feel like they’re strangling him and it’s all he can think about. The open window is not providing the relief Dan considered to be it’s only function. It’s fucking hot.

And his phone is still quiet. It’s around eight at night and the sun is making one last swan dive through the sky, starting to blaze a gaudy blood orange. Dan is twenty-two, undeniably of age to stop waiting by his phone and twirling his hair. But there he is, about 7,500 kilometers (7,544.6 if he trusted Google) away from home, longingly watching his screen.

Maybe he should grow up and --

The stupid picture Dan saved as Phil’s profile glows onto his face. It’s one that he took of Phil while he was sleeping, a private Edward Cullen moment. Phil’s mouth is slightly open and he frankly looks a little dopey with his box dye black hair falling in his face. Maybe it’s his contact picture because he looks dumb. More likely it’s because Dan misses Phil like this, quiet and all his. Dan doesn’t remember.

“Hey.”

“Answered on the fourth ring. Strong resolve today, Howell.”

Phil can’t see Dan but they both know he blushes. Dan elects to ignore it. “You called late. What’s up?”

“Nothing much. Nothing much to do here without you, if I’m honest.” Dan can hear Phil walking into the kitchen, the familiar creak of the glass door giving it away. He can picture the sipped wine bottles on the right hand counter and the Sugar Free Ribena next to the sink and the small cactus Phil probably hasn’t moved since Dan last complained about it and the bright socks on Phil’s feet padding the tile. Dan hasn’t spoken for a few seconds too long.

“Grandma took the family out to another jungle trek or somewhere. Going to bring back dinner for me.”

“Why didn’t you go?”

“It’s fucking hot, mate.” Dan winces at his words but waits for Phil to continue after his bout of laughter.

“Like me?” Phil’s voice warrants an eye roll. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, young man.”

“You can’t even see me, Phil.” It’s meant to be punchy but it falls a bit off the end. Dan’s sad if he’s being honest.

“But I know you and you’ve probably propped yourself on your bed all day, reading or something. Proper bookworm you are when you’re not on the internet. Lamp on all day even though it didn’t help much. That’s bad for the environment, you know. And it’s probably just hot because you haven’t moved in forever.”

Phil’s voice has been crackling a little for the last minute and a paranoia has been slipping through Dan’s nervous system. “I’m gonna go out in the garden. Maybe the walls are --”

“Bad signal?”

“Yeah.”

It’s a few minutes of shuffling down the stairs (they got rooms on the second floor) and probably some unattractive breathing from Dan (getting fit was really a resolution this year?). Knowing Phil, Dan’s probably on speaker. Too lazy to hold the phone to his ear, the fucker.

“Okay. Down in the garden. Can you talk so I can see if you’re more clear?”

“You can’t really see if my voice is clear. It’s more of a hearing thing.” Dan knows Phil’s doing a full smile.

“Shut up.”

“Is it more clear?”

“Yeah.”

They both give a sigh of relief. They won’t admit it to anyone but more than a few calls have been dropped due to shitty connections. It’s always more depressing than when they started talking when that happens. It already had on this particular trip and Dan was in a sour mood for the rest of the day. Dan still hasn’t switched to a plan with international texting and Dan’s family still hasn’t given into his groans about getting a hotel with a good wifi connection. Communication with Phil is a moot point with the Howells. Not that they didn’t like him but an unplugged holiday was an unplugged holiday.

“So what book have you been reading?”

“It’s kinda dumb but I’m reading the Maze Runner.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yeah.”

“Then it must not be dumb.”

“It’s a total young adult novel.”

“And you say never to feed into stereotypes.”

“I’m a man of many layers, Phil Lester.”

“Yeah, okay.”

There’s a bit of a lull. Dan can hear all the bugs humming in their trees and the lights are starting to flicker on in other guests’ rooms. The sky’s being painted in broad strokes of violet and blue, sun fading with a scarlet blaze.

Dan’s still holding the phone close to his ear. He can hear a bit of noise, a bit tinny. Probably the TV. It’s midday for Phil. Probably bright white clouds hovering outside, typical weather. Those always gives Phil his headaches and Dan hopes he’s remembered to pull the shades down a bit. He usually doesn’t and it leaves him with Dan having to give him ibuprofen and the lights off for the rest of the day.

“You watching the TV?”

“Reruns of Bake Off.”

“Lower the shades a bit?”

“Why?”

“It’s probably bright out. Don’t want you to get a headache.”

“Oh, right. Thanks.”

They don’t have to talk all the time. A lot of their time is spent in the quiet. Dan’s pretty sure talking to someone 24/7 would drive him up the wall, boyfriend be damned. But Dan doesn’t want there to be quiet between them along with the 7,500 kilometers. Sometimes he can’t fill it though.

Phil understands.

“Tell me about the garden?”

Dan looks around contemplatively. If Phil were there he would make a show of it. Maybe put his hand on his chin and narrow his eyes. “The garden is big but it’s pretty. There’s a lot of trees. Probably with a lot of bugs in them.”

“Kind of plants?”

“You know I don’t know the names, you dork.”

“Make them up.”

“Well.” Dan can’t get past his first word without giggling. If anyone’s watching him from their hotel room, he’s sure he looks like an idiot. “There’s… Plantus Redium? Of Asian origin. Spiky leaves or very hefty petals that are, you guessed it, red. And Phillus Treeus? It’s a tree, Phil.”

“Interesting… You’ll have to send me pictures.”

“You already have nudes from me, Phil.”

Phil splutters on the other end and Dan’s eyes crinkle.

“What if I had someone over, Dan? What would I say then?”

“The only people you would have over would be our friends. And not even them considering I’m not there.”

“You don’t know what I do when you’re not around.” Phil’s trying to come off as indignant but they both laugh a little anyways.

“There’s a few rocks in the garden, lining the flower beds. I’d like a garden.”

“We just moved.” Phil sounds exasperated but Dan knows it’s something they both want.

“We moved over a year ago.”

“Still.”

“There’s some nice hanging plants as well. I know you’d like some of them.”

“Are there blue ones?”

“Blue flowers?”

“Yeah.”

“I can’t tell from this distance. It’s getting a bit dark.”

“Maybe you should head in soon. Your family might be back.”

“I’d prefer not.”

“Okay.”

“So… Hottest Lad of 2013? Impressive.”

Dan knows Phil just scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah.”

“I hope you know I did put in some illegal votes.”

“Really?”

“No, but I’m sure others did.”

“Oh, so that’s how you won last year?”

“Shut up!”

“You’re cutting off a bit, Dan.”

“No… I don’t want to.” It’s a stupid answer but Dan’s a little desperate.

“Okay… moved a bit. You’re better now.”

“Good.” Not that Dan’s throat closed up or anything. It’s properly dark out now but Dan doesn’t want Phil to know so he doesn’t tell Dan to go back to his room. Dan’s heart is a little lonely, being by himself all day. A recharge is always needed but not texting Phil is a drain.

“Just in case… Uh, just in case the call drops maybe we should talk about the radio show a bit? I was editing some of the videos today.”

Dan can’t help but be a little disappointed at the change of pace. He stares at the wall opposite the tree he’s leaning against. The garden is all dark and green now, the only light filtering from surrounding rooms through thick curtains.

“Uh, yeah. Radio show.”

“I’m fixing up the Ariana and Conor videos.”

“Exciting.”

“Yeah, I was wondering if I should edit out or keep in your gigantic grin towards her.”

“A little jealous?”

“No. Trying to help you protect your cool facade. You look like an over-joyed puppy.”

“What? It’s a look.”

“Sure.”

“She’s nice isn’t she?”

“Looking for a new girlfriend?”

“Maybe… I don’t know… My boyfriend’s long distance right now, it’s a bit difficult.” Dan’s dramatically fanning himself before he remembers Phil isn’t there to laugh at his little gestures.

“Is he now? Sounds rough.”

“Yes, especially rough with the phone calls. Terrible connection.”

There’s a pause. The air’s quite humid and Dan thinks about how Phil would like his hair like this. It’s incredibly curly and he tugs a strand at the nape of his neck for Phil.

“So the Conor video --”

Dan’s not listening anymore because he’s pretty sure something’s on his back. Maybe being under a tree with a high probability of bugs was a bad idea. It’s sneaking down his back and he’s just about to shit his pants. He’s peering over his shoulder, and sure enough there’s a gigantic spider meandering along his shirt.

The sound Dan makes is probably ungodly, maybe even enough for the hotel patrons to call the police. All of a sudden, he’s scrambling at his back, fighting off the spider like a knight in shining armor. Except he probably looks more like a jester doing some physical comedy.

Eventually, Dan can’t find the spider anymore and assumes he flung it off. Head back on his shoulders, Dan realizes his phone is decidedly not in his hand anymore.

A minute later, Dan’s on his knees when he finds his poor phone prostrate next to some of the garden rocks. He would give a pitiful moan in condolence if not for the scream he had made earlier and also the phone is still obviously working. In fact, the call is still running.

“-- something must have happened. So I guess since you’re not around I’ll just hang up. Call me when --”

“Phil! I’m here, don’t hang up.”

“Oh, Dan, are you okay?”

“Yeah… fine.”

“You’re not but what happened?”

“Don’t laugh.”

“I won’t.”

“Promise.”

“A spider was on my back.”

Dan knows he promised, so Phil’s holding back his laugh. There’s probably a smile rolling behind his eyes and that grin he can’t exactly pull off his face where his tongue pokes out. But to his credit, Phil doesn’t actually laugh. Dan can hear a tremor of one behind Phil’s, “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Fucking gigantic, I’m telling you. Monstrous.”

“Sure it wasn’t just a way to get off the phone?”

Phil’s teasing but Dan can’t stop his quick, “No!”

“Can’t get enough of me, then, I suppose.”

“... Maybe.”

They go on like that for God knows how long. They talk until it’s been five minutes of silence between the two of them, just aligning their breaths to each other’s. They don’t have anything else to talk about. Over an hour has passed. He won’t tell Phil the phone bill. Dan misses home and the rainy London weather and days on the couch and Phil. He wants to align with Phil’s breath while he’s laying on his chest.

“How dark is it outside?”

“It’s been dark for a while.”

It’s quiet again and Dan can hear the bugs humming louder than before. He’ll be spending Christmas without Phil again. They’ve never really spent it together before. The fourth Christmas they’ll not be seeing each other. Dan desperately wants to change that but he does not have the faintest idea how to bring it up.

“I miss you.”

“I miss you, too.”

Dan is not going to get sappy and start a scuffle over who misses the other more but he’s pretty sure he has the prize. He’s homesick.

“You watering your houseplants still?”

“Of course. Who do you think I am? A heathen?”

“You’d be surprised, babe.”

They both know Dan’s too sleepy for this conversation if he’s started calling Phil ‘babe’ but they really don’t want to end the phone call. “You’ll have to go out into the garden more often. Good connection. No interruptions. Except that spider, what a cockblock.”

“After this phone call, I’m never gonna come back out here. No spiders please. I’ll just lean out my window.”

“Whatever suits you.” They’re really pulling for time now considering they’ve gotten to the point of discussing Dan’s future phone call locations.

“Well, I…”

“I know you’re tired, Dan. Go to sleep.”

“Getting rid of me so soon?” The tease is flimsy at best.

They inevitably do say goodnight and the whole lot. Dan doesn’t even notice the dent in his phone from when he threw it until the next time Phil lights up his phone.

fin.

#phanfiction #phanfic #phan #jasmine writes

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