#recently ive been posting more on twitter than in tumblr

[randompumpkinkiddo]

it's so windy holy shit

[skrrtscree]

Woe ryomina dump be upon yee 💙💛

[caninecrypt]

tbh ive been trying really hard to get back into using my social medias and consistently posting like i used to (depression kicked my ASS recently), and i feel like now since i actually am starting to have the energy again, i may end up deleting/deactivating/altogether abandoning some of my other off-site profiles (mainly instagram, MAYBE twitter?) since i dont have the energy for upkeep on those platforms. i don't like the way that the IG algorithm works, i never really have, and twt as a whole never really... did it for me? i dunno. something about posting there is just more anxiety-inducing than other sites LMAO but anyway, this is to say that i WILL be more active on tumblr and trying to increase my presence on my toyhouse! as always, my website is probably the best way to see all my info at any given time.

[zukosdualdao]

Im glad to read the takes of a fellow zuko stan :)

Honestly, it feels like people just hate on him way too much lately. The posts ive seen on twitter, on tik tok, on tumblr... Do people just not like him anymore? Why did everyone turn against him so suddenly? I've been hoping it's something temporary, just a trend, but. I don't know anymore. People mock his disability, spit on his trauma, wish death on him and interpret everything he says or does in the worst possible way. I saw someone crying about how entitled he was because he took aang's seat when watching the play just the other day lmao. Another person wrote about how mysoginistic he was because he didn't remember katara's name when asking about kya's death to sokka? There are those who even call him a colonizer on the same level as iroh lmao. It seems their justifications for all the salt they throw his way are along the lines of "he's been loved for too long, aang stans have suffered way more, people just watched the show again and realized how bad he actually was, he's catching strays since his fans keep setting him up, his fans paint him as perfect and erase every bad thing he's done" etc etc. I'm all for criticism and deeper character analysis, but this is just said in bad faith. I also think it has a bit to do with how different engagement has become in fandom spaces recently (things people support in fiction need to be morally correct) and well, zuko was the perfect target. He's done bad things, sides with the villains for a good portion of the series, redeems himself but there are things he still has to work on... I don't know, it's been getting to me. There are many other harsh things ive read said about him (like implying how every single member of the gaang hates even after redeeming himself), but i honestly don't have the energy to delve into each and every one. His arc was poorly executed and his development was badly written now, apparently. I kind of just ranted here, i apologize. Im very happy to read the posts of someone who genuinely likes him and doesnt throw him under the bus to defend or elevate other characters...

hi! i'm glad you're enjoying my blog <3 and no need to apologize for the rant, i'm always happy to talk about zuko!

about to theorize a bit as to why it seems like maybe zuko has become a more contentious character, but it should be noted i have not been exceptionally, actively involved in the fandom very long. i loved atla as a kid, have retained fond memories, have witnessed some discourse from the fringes over the years, but only recently has it overtaken my brain to the point of making a whole blog about it. lol. so, like, grain of salt, etc.

i think a big part of it is what you said - in the last few years of fandom in particular, it feels like there has been a huge upswing in purity culture, moralizing liking/not liking certain ships or characters, and an overall increase in very black-and-white thinking. there's also an emphasis on "holding people accountable" (good in theory), often without specifying what, exactly, that looks like (less good). the idea then becomes that if you've done harmful things, there's no way you can ever make up for them and should just, like, hate yourself for all eternity and also die, probably, which is not actually helpful to anyone.

so, i think for those who ascribe to that mindset, zuko is a prime candidate for them to criticize. and while there's nothing wrong with criticizing a character or their arc or writing if you truly have a problem with it, as you've said, a lot of the time, criticisms against zuko don't seem to be made in very good faith. after all, a big part of zuko's arc is having to unlearn some very black-and-white thinking. also, zuko is not a real person. he is a character, and therefore a narrative tool, and if we want him to be 'held accountable', we need look no further than the story itself, in which he is probably the character the narrative holds the most accountable for his actions due to his prior status as a villain.

(it reminds me a bit, actually, of another favorite character of mine: alec in the tv series shadowhunters. he starts out the story already in a heroic role, unlike zuko, but a big part of his narrative is unlearning some prejudiced cultural mindsets and challenging not only his previous ideologies, but his conception of himself and the people in his life as well. as a result, alec can look sometimes more obviously flawed than the other main cast, but the point is that the narrative asks him to examine those flaws and change and introspect and grow in a way that it doesn't always ask of other characters when they are showcasing their own flaws. which does make me thing about zuko vs. aang in the atla narrative.)

the other thing i think is contributing to zuko's more contentious status in the fandom is how long atla's been in the cultural consciousness, and how common it is for things that used to be popular to cycle through to people starting to criticize or actively hate it to people saying "no, actually, it's still pretty good, you just don't want to like a popular thing" (this is me rn), to maybe eventually getting popular again/at least in certain subsects of the audience. zuko was probably one of the most talked-about aspects of atla for a long time, and while i can understand how that could get frustrating (because there are some other really great characters and aspects of the story!), that's not, like, for no reason. people connected with and admired his story for a reason, and many still do, and (in my humble opinion) that is because it is one of the most thought-out, intentional, and nuanced character arcs of the show.

the ableism, i think, really gets to me because like... even if every criticism from the people who hate him were 100% accurate and said in good faith (they're not, but let's pretend for a minute)... that still wouldn't be an excuse for ableism against a character with a prominent facial difference (or making fun of abuse survivors for the permanent injuries they sustain from abuse.) if zuko had never redeemed himself and stayed a villain, it would still be wrong to talk about his scar and abuse the way some of his detractors do. and the show agrees with me! you know how i know? the only two characters to ever make fun of zuko's scar are villains in the narrative: zhao and azula. ("make fun of" might not be quite right for zhao, since what he said - "you have the scar to prove it" - is far more matter-of-fact than azula imitating him by covering her eye or "make sure they get your good side", but he's absolutely being a huge jerk about it.) other characters react to zuko's scar in all sorts of different ways, even when he's still in a villain/antagonist/anti-hero role: zuko's crew is horrified to learn how he got the scar, song sees a point of connection and tries to reach out to him, but, while i think well-intentioned, she breaks a major boundary by trying to touch his scar when he hasn't conveyed he's okay with that, jet makes assumptions about his background because of it, lee, the kid from zuko alone, asks with curious, childish naivete how he got it, only for his father to reprimand him for asking, aang reacts with annoyance/boredom to azula's ableist joke, and katara trips over her words to correct him when zuko thinks she's essentially calling him "scary to look at". not all of these interactions are positive, but the characters (all of whom are written as pretty sympathetic, even if also flawed) aren't outright trying to make fun of him for it, and the narrative never implies he deserves to be treated as less than because of it, even before his redemption.

anyway. if people don't believe in characters' (and, hell, irl people's) capacity for growth and change and don't want to have nuanced discussions about how trauma can impact these things, i mean... that's their prerogative, but i don't understand why they enjoy the show, because those are big parts of it (and not just wrt zuko.)

i know it can be frustrating, anon— trust me, i get very frustrated. but i promise you, there are plenty of people out there who a) still love zuko and his story and b) are capable of and willing to talk about things with nuance and in good faith. i'm happy to be part of that corner of fandom, and i bet you can manage to carve out a space where more people like that exist, too! <3

[cal-writes]

hi, i'm here with a couple of bits for the ask game! ❤️ in general AND specifically 221 Beika Street series. 💥 for both one piece and detco. and ✨️👓🦋🦈📚💛 please! may you have a blessed day, Cal!

damn you did not mess around! lets hope mobile doesnt destroy me trying to answer

i will put this under read more bc it got long!

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

i have many! generally i like my dialogue the best usually so this one is from my most recent one piece wip

-

Kureha scoffs and waves him off. “Oh, please. You’re practically glowing like a young bride. You definitely got laid.”

for detco i loved this exchange in A Matter of Deduction

“For the record, you’re a terrible liar.” Shinichi threw over. Hattori hung his head briefly with a sharp laugh. He shut off the water in the sink and dried his hands on a dishtowel he threw at Shinichi with too little force, causing it to land on the floor between them.

 

“And you’re a terrible detective.”

-

for 221 beika street specifically i loved writing amuro and shinichi being bitchy at each other

“I like him better than I do you.” He told Amuro plainly. It wasn’t much of an achievement, considering, but Shinichi still felt like it needed to be said. Since they were being so honest with each other after all. 

 

“I’m well aware,” Amuro said, chuckling. “I hate you less than I do him.” He was still idly turning pages in the book and Shinichi slammed it shut in his hands.

 

“If you bring your gun here again I will make you regret it.”

💥 What is one canon thing that you wish you could change?

for one piece i think it would be the reveal of why sanji wanted to have to power to turn invisible. listen i have a tough time liking sanji in canon and i thought when it was first brought up that yknow that could be an interesting thing to explore esp with his backstory later with his shitty family like do something with that! and then they were like nah he wants to harass women in the bath. like i pretend i do not see it

for detco its hard bc i think there is so much thats only debatably canon. for me detco isnt really one continuous story so i like to pick and choose with canon anyway. maybe just more queer representation. or any i suppose (the movies arent really canon but the lupin crossover movie has like two or three lines in it that i despise and wish to delete from out universe entirely)

✨️ Out of the comments you’ve received on your fics, what are two or three of your favorites?

there is a lovely person called hikarinomajin (i forgot what their tumblr user name is and cannot find it for the live of me rn) who made a thread on twitter as they read 221 beika street and linked it in the comments and that was a joy to read. they leave lovely comments but that first one and the thread is special to me, ive never had someone make a thread live blogging them reading my writing.

also @blithe-bee is the best hype woman for my wips, lots of comments from her in my google docs drafts that are a huge motivation, i have posted one of my recent favorites on this blog about stabbing zoro being my brand

also a very different but hilarious one is this one on Glue Trap from BnuuyTales, makes me cackle every time

👓 What helps you focus when you write?

playlists! i make playlists for everything. when im starting to get serious about a story i will sit down and make a playlist. here is part of the 221 beika street one

🦋 Which character is your favorite to write?

they all have their unique quirks. i think i feel the most at home in heijis and laws head bc i can project my own way of thinking on it. a bit scattered and a bit overdrive and run on sentences. its the easiest to write as them i think. a few other characters are fun to write though just because i can use a different style. ive really been enjoying writing robin from one piece and my one shot from sonokos pov bc they think very differently and have different focus and expressions

🦈 Which character is the toughest to write?

i really struggled with kaito at first. ive mostly seen the movies for detco in the beginning and hadnt read the kaito manga yet so i felt like pulling teeth trying to get his voice down.

for one piece i tried my hand at usopp recently too and i definitely am not as comfortable in his pov yet as other characters but i could see myself really enjoying him down the line

📚 Is there a fanfic or fanfic writer you recommend?

@the-pen-pot is someone ive been following since livejournal and shes (i hope thats the right pronouns) a great writer! merlin unfortunately isnt my fandom but if you are into merlin im sure her stuff is still great if not better then when i read her fullmetal alchemist fics back in the day

specific fics is a little though for op and detco bc as soon as i start writing fic i will read less of it in any given fandom xD

but here are some favs

i think a classic for detco is a study in scarlette great work by kittebasu

kaishin power hour, great plot and fantastic pace, also really interesting character exploration

for one piece i absolutely loved Cut My Feelings Clean Off by Augment

zoro as the heart pirates first mate, fantastic dynamics here. absolutely love how their wrote law

if you are into grandmaster of demonic cultivation and horror Post Mortem by Cataclysmic_Calamity was a breathtaking piece of work but do be mindful of the content warnings. the climax is so fantastic i read it multiple times

and for some red vs blue fans P versus NP by @glassedplanets

wash and maine in a canon divergent story. one of my absolute favorites, i followed the progress for years and the author recently started writing one piece too! (that ive been meaning to read as well) so definitely check their stuff out. they also make beautiful art

i wish i was better with names bc i know some of these people have tumblrs too that i follow but i cannot remember the names. i just see vague icon blobs when i scroll my timeline

💛 What is the most impactful lesson you’ve learned about writing?

i know its hard especially in this current age of social media but just write for yourself. like i sometimes call writing exorcising things from my brain and i think thats where the passion comes from. dont write for numbers and likes (although those are of course nice too) but they arent a sign of quality or capability.

ages ago on a different website i once did this test where i took the same fic, changed the names into one from a bigger fandom and posted them both. and to see the difference in numbers just based on which fandom or paaring it was from really helped me move on from that mindset of “if there are no comments or likes its bad” sometimes it just means less people have seen it

wow thank you for asking all of them!! this is fun

[captainportgasdace]

okay im writing to u as anon cuz this shi kinda embarrassing but like.. RAH IDK WHERE TI START okay so like i've been MEGA hyperfixated/in love with this character since like february but yk ive been liking them for almost 2 yrs. they are my comfort character and i love them with all my heart, in every possible way. idk how to be all sappy and shi I LOVE THIS CHARACTER A LOT. i recently started using tiktok in july-ish? and uploaded tiktoks of my art of this character and js shit posts about them hoping to maybe go a lil famous or gain a community where we can all be delulu together? idk.. but anyways there are a LOT of other people who love this character too. and idk it actually makes me JEALOUS to see them making the same content and getting more comments, likes, etc. it's over a fictional character but i just feel so possessive. overtime, i realized that i stopped focusing on the character and more so the content i post on tiktok. i dont know why, and i miss the days where said character would actually be the light of my day. they are but i feel like i dont show it enough.. i miss when i'd get that giddy feeling in my heart thinking of them, when i'd write 4 chapters IN ONE SITTING of my fanfic with ME as the self insert interacting with the character, when they'd always be on my mind and nothing else. this prob sounds unhealthy asf but it feels worse to see other people saying this character is "theirs" and i just dont know bruh i dont wanna say maybe this hyperfixation is over cuz i find myself doodling them in class and making scenarios but it just doesnt feel the same i want that feeling back i love this character sm and maybe its me because there's one specific account that posts more than me about this character, that has more followers and supporters saying "yeah this character is yours!!" and allat and idk why its a fictional character but i just wanna cry idk why IK ITS NOT A BIG DEAL HELP 😭 idk maybe tiktok ruined it for me cuz i still had my massive, heart fluttering, butterfly giving crush when i used tumblr.. AND IDK I STILL WANNA USE TIKTOK but i js know ill never be as popular and no one will agree that this character is mine and js i miss how it used to be

OMG Okay first, I’m happy you trust me to share this ❤️

Then, DON’T FEEL BAD because somehow I feel the same? And idk if it’s bad but I do get jealous and possessive and I feel like I never bond with other Ace fans, for exemple? Except on tumblr, I really did found my community here and I do love to share everything Ace with the other Ace fans but on twitter (x)? I never did and I saw Ace fans on tiktok and felt…intimidated? 🥺 And it somehow made me feel bad because I was like well, he’s a popular character he’s not yours but still… and when I was at the convention I was like "oh, this person is a bigger fan than me, probably" and it makes me sad AND IDK WHYYY 😭

So I have decided to stay on tumblr. Because Ave fans here are absolutely lovely, I never felt like anyone tried to make someone feel like they’re less of a fan because blablabla, no, we’re just all being delulu together and I love that.

I think what we can learn from this is, sometimes social networks put a pressure on us and we should just stick to the one that makes us feel good and welcome? ❤️

[nivchara-yahel]

Survival Fundraising for Disabled, Queer Siblings - Please Read (and Help)!

My sibling (Hem - a.k.a. rivalconga on Twitter) and I are disabled. Hem has a broken hip in need of a replacement they cannot yet get, POTS, HS, and an essential tremor. These conditions make it impossible for them to work outside of the home, and they have been applying for online WFH for many months. If you have WFH leads on transcription, data entry, or research work, please get in touch with them via the link to their Twitter, or hit me up here on Tumblr.

I just observed (in July) my 10th anniversary of a chronic congestive heart failure diagnosis, and I also am a fairly recently diagnosed T2D working on getting a good treatment regimen, and regularly require infusions of IV iron for lifelong iron-deficiency anemia that doesn't respond to oral iron supplements or dietary iron. I am also in the midst of trying to get an ADHD diagnosis.

I am unable to work, and I applied for SSDI in April, and was given my first denial in July, which happens in about 80% of SSDI cases. I am getting an attorney to appeal, but the process is slow. In the meantime, I'm not able to bring in income.

We do not have family to provide us with assistance, and we have extremely limited resources for help where we live. There are no homeless shelters here, and our state (Missouri) is openly hostile to LGBT+ and unhoused people. Also, most assistance here is tied to evangelical Christian organizations, and I am Jewish.

You can help us by spreading the word on your social media for us. If you can help us financially, even if only $1, please send aid to our payment apps:

Paypal - nivcharayahel

Venmo - heathmarie31 (This is Hem's account.)

CashApp - $heathmarie31

You can find direct links to these and my other social media at my Linktree:

Hem is also a budding artist, and is offering art for $10+ donations. Here's their Twiter thread for more details:

Here are samples of their art (which are, IMO, way better than okay!):

If you're interested and you can't contact them on Twitter, get in touch with me here!

Until Hem gets work and/or I get my SSDI approved, we need about $1200 monthly to cover rent, groceries/household supplies, and Rx/over-the-counter medical expenses.

We also have an Amazon Wishlist if you'd prefer to help in that way. (Link coming soon--it is badly in need of an overhaul.)

Thank you so much for helping us survive!

Read my intro/bio post for more information about me.

[hanarchy]

Hi friends, I illegally logged into tumblr on my work computer on the first working day of 2023 specifically to make this post properly. I don't have a good computer and I simply could not do this on my phone.

Ok, Time to get emo :)

I discovered SKZ at the end of last year, I personally date my anniversary to somewhere between December 29th 2021 and January 2nd 2022. It's a good thing too because I get overemotional at the end of the year anyway and now I can just schedule all my gratitude and emo times at the same time.

I want to start from the beginning bc the only reason 2022 was a good year for me was this discovery. this is a bit of recap for me because I wanted to do it. If you're tagged in it it means that you played a part in my year and meant something to me. Feel free to only read your little paragraphs (or nothing at all, theres no obligation), this is bound to get unspeakably long.

first, I want to give a quick shout out to the people I started talking to/followed more recently @hyunpic (I haven's checked twitter today, did hyunjin kill you yet or did he get all of that out of the way in 2022?) @mybodyfails (did u ever listen to stromae?) @jisungsjaistandjeekies (how was the first day of your new job?) The best thing about getting another year on tumblr is the promise of getting to know you all more <3

@quokki you were literally the first person I ever followed for stray kids content. It was around february, when I looked for fanart for the first time and reactivated my twitter and I found your hannies. It took a little longer but I'm so glad we are friends now. I really love our chats/meltdowns abt hanji and you're incredibly talented and kind and also just correct abt a lot of stuff lmao

@alexenglish alex, I know we don't talk that much but you were the first person to really talk to me abt k-pop stuff and I will never forget that. I also cannot thank you enough for showing me rolling quartz and for reading the stupid thing that i wrote that one time. it seems trivial but i literally do not show anyone my writing ever and anytime I do and it's a good experience it makes me a little braver so thank you, seriously. and also thank you for sticking around even when I'm a dick

my first comeback in march was soso special because I had people to freak out with. I was in Ireland at the time and even hough I was brand new in online stayville I felt a lot less alone than I could've.

in april i started talking to @sailsflyseaward but I honestly can't believe it has only been 9 months. We've met 3! times since then and you're already one of my most precious online friends and I feel like I've known you way longer. I have to try very hard to stay cynical and not believe in fate and the universe being a good place when I think about how we could've just never met.

I was EXHAUSTED the first 4 months of this year, I hated most of it. I turned 30 in april, i had been to ireland and to the north sea on vacation in march and april but all of it felt hollow and exhausting and terrible. In germany we say that may makes everything anew and it certainly was true for me this year. I planned a trip to toronto, I got a raise, I got to see mamamoo, ive and a bunch of others live and i spoke a little to so so many sweet people.

@nevoono who makes literally the cutest fucking things ever and was my first german k-pop friend ever and also is just... really cool in such a unique way. idk I'm sorry I'm terrible at keeping up.

to @ambivartence who I don't talk to a ton but who also is literally the coolest artist alive and made me feel very happy to know that others also travel very far to see their groups. I stare at your paintings so much, i honestly should not admit it but there's just always so much to see.

and to @pvddins-art who is one of the sweetest and kindest and most generous people I've ever met, which is a high bar because I use those words for a lot of people, but for you they are more true than for anyone.

getting to go to a k-pop festival in germany as my first experience was so good too. I really had no idea what it means to ba a k-pop fan and the whole community and culture and incredible vibes around it when you're there in person. I had a very exhausting day and it was hot as hell and I had a migraine after but it was all worth it

interlude because I don't remember when I started talking to you:

@brianbangs tay my sweetheart, i love you so much. you're just one of the people who get it. like. idk, it's hard for me to put into words properly but you get it when I'm being a hater and you get it when I'm being emotional and you get it when I'm being horny and you accept all of it. I also think you're really fucking creative and talented and I love being here with you so much

then june came and it was one of my best months ever ever. I went to another festival and got to relive the music I loved as a teen. seeing the strokes 16 years after I was a fan made me cry a lot lol. I went to see my favorite people alive @starmotions, @fromadifferentphase (and the third one who is missing but u know who u are) in toronto. and I do mean this literally you're my favorites. I'm the most me when I'm with you, I think of everyone who knows me no one knows me so completely. there isn't anyone I share more parts of myself with. the 1 week I just got to hang out with you was so incredibly precious to me, it made me power through most of the rest of the year. moments of joy! I got to see toronto and got to spend time with people I love. one of my friends came all the way from salt lake city just to see me.

then I went to new york and now there's a long ass list coming because 1. it was the first time I met my beloved julia, 2. it was when i met my beloved kay 3. i got to travel with my beloved di and we got to explore new york and eat so many tacos and learn about queer art and history and also it was when I met both

@chanstopher and @lonelystreetlight and I'm puting you both in the same paragraph bc I started talking to both of you at the same time and also discovered that we're literally the same tumblr user, I cannot believe that I found the old 1D crowd again and the old glee crowd AND even the old starkid people. ok, I had to google the songs from the space tour just now but it's insane that I could text someone about both status quo by starkid AND zone by 3racha.

and lastly it was OF COURSE when i fucking saw fucking stray kids in fucking person (sorry) I was so numb from everything going on, and from the heat and from newark airport that I didn't even cry but looking back on it I honestly can't even begin to believe how lucky I was to be able to do all of that in just one month.

july was the month I went to see harry styles (meh) and hang out with an old friend because of it (yay) and I have literally nothing else in my calender for the entire month but I know I was a bit stressed. however I don't think it was a terrible time.

In august I went to the south of germany on vacation to celebrat my moms birthday, we went to the opera outdoors and I felt extremely fancy the entire time and also saw so many flowers. then we started the stayblr discord.

@snug-gyu @hanjesungs @ggthydrangea @littleclouds @shmalll @babychicklix and everyone else in there! I am so glad it's a space to hang out and message each other and talk about skz. I know I left very quickly (unfortunately group situations are terrible for my mental health and I felt very bad very quickly) but I still got to start chatting with so many cool people and I'm always so happy that we did that.

@bangchanies king of the dumpster that is new jersey, my absolute favorite eyeshadow model and another one of the bitches that just get it, u know? you just get what I'm trying to say and I am grateful to have you to text when I want to be annoying. (you're also secretly incredibly sweet and I think you're honestly just a very kind and empathetic person and i would be sadder without you but i will not tell anyone that you're secretly nice)

@cheekyquokka even though you're not IN the server, I feel like we started really talking around the same time so you're getting put in here as well. you're so generous and sweet to your friends, I remember the surprise and amazement from both bee and ale at the packages you sent them, you're such a great fucking mutual to have because you know yourself and you make really cool gifs, every time one of yours comes across my dash i know it. idek why. anyway, thank you <3

around september was when I finally started the group chat and seven made it complete, so here comes that bit. I needed to make sure you all know how much you mean to me.

@bourgeoix I swear in some off-kilter way we are soulmates. you make both my fandom brain and the little kid that didn't know popstars but could draw the shape of gorbachevs blood spot feel at home. you're soooo fucking smart and we have like debated moral philosophy and learning and reasoning styles at length so I won't go into it but it's one of those amazing fated coincidences that we both befriended seven and then each other. you think it's cool that I live near to Olaf Scholz's barbershop. you're my favorite of all the nerds. I could read the stuff you write for years and years and never get bored. I need to eat your brain (as jace or seven would say) and I love that we get to be both smart and very very very dumb together.

@hyumjim I honestly cannot top what mel said but you're like. my only grown up friend. You genuinely have a patience and kindness with people that is really hard to find. I know you don't show this to everyone but it makes me all the more grateful that I get to experience it. you're also insane. when seven first added you to the gc I had sth to say that felt really crazy to me and was nervous in front of you and seven said 'emily is also insane' and so i posted it in the gc and now we're friends. i don't remember what it was but you gave great advice and i sort of feel like we disagree and fight in all the ways that makes a relationship better and you make me insecure but in a fun way. you're a huge hater and yet you genuinely love people and humanity more than most people alive. thank you for listening to me.

@jellino jace idek how to describe you but you're like....... my little brother but not in a lame way. you're also older than me in some ways. idk, I just love how much you love stuff. I love how sure you are of what you're not, even while always wondering what you are. I think of you so much when I see sea creatures and ice age characters and dumb stuff. the other day I saw a squirrel irl and i thought 'I have to send this to jace' bc it reminded me of scrat from ice age. i cannot look at a penguin without thinking about you. I don't think I'll ever go to a zoo and not think of you. I also am always hoping that you are ok, that you find your way, that you know I'm happy and proud to know you...

@bewby my love. seven. I think it will never not be complicated how much I love you because I want you to be ok so bad. but it doesn't matter if you are or not for me to love you a whole lot. you're so funny and so smart and I say neither of these things lightly, like you have such a quick wit and you want everyone to be ok so bad and you love people so much and i hope that some day you will know that it is enough and you are enough. meeting you that one time was so fun, like we literally did not need more than a half hour to find sooo much stuff to talk about. I love having a german kpoppie friend, I love your tender heart, I love how understanding you are! I hope you know how much!

honestly it's all 4 of you that got me through fall and winter so far, it's venting and bitching and joking and writing insanely long messages to you that make me feel like a human instead of a gremlin. It's knowing that you like me and think I'm someone you want to listen to. You mean so much to me, I can never pay that back.

so much happened in my personal k-pop world in october PLUS most of my friends had their birthdays too so it was a bit stressful and it ended with my great uncle dying but i did get to see my old friends and family, so it was good in the end.

november was cold and dark as always but i got to feel so much warmth in scotland, just spending a few days going to museums and coffeeshops and nothing else and then seeing my love julia for the scond time, learning about history and eating pies. then I went to london to see @sunflowercocoa again after 5 fucking years and it was so much fun. I know you know how much I love you, I had such a good time, thank you for being my friend. Thank you for making me leave the house, thank you for being generous and fun and spending time with me. I know you're strong enough to get through the next year or so and I know you're gonna be so happy and so successful and you have a great life ahead. I know you're not here much anymore and that it kind of annoys you but you were a big part of this year and this is like my diary at this point tbh.

i also met @geniaparadox my homie and so much fun to hang out with. honestly our day together kind of made me wish i could've gotten to hang out with you in high school, i feel like we would have been friends. thank you for talking to me abt how underrated felix is and for looking at the bts stuff in hmv and despair because being a k-pop fan in europe is very sad and for buying japanese tea and just being cool. i am so happy that you get to not go back to that job

december was november but worse but I started it off sososo well, seeing julia the 3rd time and going to nuremberg and munich and being slightly tipsy at the christmas market everywhere and going swing dancing for the first time and trying so many fun food and drink things. It was a sad and anxiety-inducing month because so many people I know were ill or dying but in the end we mostly made it through and I am grateful. I got to spend the end of the year surrounded by babies and puppies and it felt good to not have to deal with grown-up things for a few days and just play.

[airenyah]

You know, my day started really shitty and the weather is all gloomy, so I put all my hopes on a JD show in GMMTV p2. I was cautiously optimistic. So as soon as I got home, I checked Twitter and the first post I saw was Joong and Dunk kissing next a car. And I was like OMG!!!!! So I watched the trailer, and I actually squealed, because the concept is amazing and they are with FirstKhao (who GMMTV loves), so the script will also be great, and I feel like my whole day is made. (I actually had a stray thought about this leading up to part2, like if JD and FK get a series together, JD will finally be in a quality production. Maybe I should invest in lottery tickets 😂). I finally completely understood the etymology of the word 'fan', because I'm the "unfollow me right now" meme. I'm an adult with an actual job and I still squealed and flailed like Ongsa because JoongDunk finally get a chance to shine.

But, that's not everything. Because then I logged into Tumblr and I saw that you posted an essay about Dunk to my ask from last week, and now I'm close to tears with how overjoyed I am. Thank you very much for taking the time and writing this manifesto that I'll use as a guide to better understand performances in the future. I love you too, you made this day way better than it already was 💜

P. S. As for the DMs, maybe when I'm less shy 😅

anonnnnnn i'm sorry it took me so long to reply to your last ask!! but yeah, i think you see why and i'm glad it made your day even better 💗💗💗

edit bc i forgot to mention: take your time about dming me, the links won't run away 😌💕

re: "I finally completely understood the etymology of the word 'fan', because I'm the "unfollow me right now" meme." I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING I LITERALLY MADE THIS POST THIS AFTERNOON:

so yeah, me too. me too. i too am that meme. i was already close to posting it hahahaha

as for the new JD show....

ok ok ok so i lucked out completely bc usually tuesday is my uni day but this week i don't have classes, so i was able to watch the entire stream live. and i was already mentally prepared for no JD bl again?? first of all because as i explain in my manifesto, i do want to see them in more solo projects (esp dunk bc out of all the series he's had or will have a major role in 3/4 are with joong which... as a fan i'm absolutely not complaining about but from an acting perspective it would be good for him to branch out)

and second of all, because i'd been talking and speculating with @moonkhao and a couple of days ago joong tweeted something about "this year i will get to play with that phi"?? and @moonkhao mentioned that win had recently followed joong and how it seemed like the two of them were gonna be in a series and we were all like "oh it's gonna be a het show for sure" (HA HA LOOK AT US NOW @moonkhao 🤡🤡🤡🤡) (ive never been more happy to be wrong tho fjkdfkkjdsg)

anyway so i went into the stream fully prepared for them to be in solo het-projects, right?? and when the trailer came on, in the very first shot it's joong and khao, right? but i totally didn't notice joong at first, bc i was too distracted by khao and the fact that first appeared right after and i was all "oh that's gotta be the rumored p'jojo FK mafia show"

and then joong appeared and i finally saw him and i went JOONG??????????

my eyes went big and my jaw dropped on the ground and my head was spinning with thoughts all "is joong gonna be just a side character in this?? or will dunk be there too?? holy shit what is happening????"

AND THEN DUNK CAME ON AND BY THIS POINT, IN ADDITION TO SITTING THERE WITH MY EYES AND MY MOUTH WIDE OPEN I ENDED UP SLAPPING MY HANDS ON MY MOUTH TRYING NOT TO SCREAM AND I WATCHED THE REST OF THE TRAILER AS WELL AS THE PRESENTATION/INTERVIEW AFTERWARDS LIKE THAT

i was literally shaking oh my god dfjkjdfkjdfkjdfjkdsjk

anyway. i'm not gonna be normal about this thanks

[psychotic4ghost]

I think I'm opening commissions. I have been thinking about it recently and it's been on my list of things I want to do involving my writing and activity on Tumblr. Ive really been enjoying writing/posting on her more than I thought I would. (Definitely better than twitter)

But anyway, I might open them since my blog has started to gain the traction I hoped for when I started this! I'm not a huge creator yet (probably cause I suck at remembering to post)

But I know I'll get to where I want to be eventually. Ive had some comments on AO3 saying they loved how I write ghost so maybe I can do some commissions.

I will keep commissions to just Ghost and Konig for right now as I don't actually know much about the rest of the 141 (+Alejandro and Rudy) I also won't write about Graves cause he actually makes me mad 🥴

I'll make a separate post about my guidelines and boundaries soon!

[urlocaltrashgoblin]

but why is tumblr a hellsite

ok, guys i know i haven't been here for very long but i don't get much of the "tumblr is a hellsite" discourse, probably because i haven't found any particularly clear posts about it.

to be clear, im not a reddit or twitter refugee, ive been on tumblr for like 2 months now out of my own volition (shock lmao)

where im coming from is that there are a lot of posts/memes that are essentially "wait how did tumblr end up the site to be on rn? haha how weird this site is bad" (obviously im exaggerating)

its just been such a great time for me here, the vibes are sooo much different than other social media sites, and honestly i like that its all fandom and memes, and yet there's some genuine discourse here as well

i mean i love the fact that people banded together to welcome users from other platforms so easily with numerous posts about tumblr etiquette and helpful resources (some of which even i didn't know about)

that's not to say i haven't read any of the reasons people have beef with tumblr (usually i see memes about staff?) but its more that haven't *really* seen anyone talk about it

as someone who's always kind of lurked on the edge, but has only recently joined, i would actually really appreciate if people comment or reblog or even just message me with their experience and thoughts. i just feel like tumblr users have come together throughout the years to sort of form this community which can be a bit hard to understand or enter if you haven't been there all along to *get* it

bit of a random thought, but i think maybe there's space for discussion, for people to give history or opinions on tumblr as a website as it stands now

[kenjo-arts]

Hey I wanted to ask on how you deal with extrem motivation loss, especially for art. Sadly I am so bad at finishing anything and I mostly have just random sketches and scribbles :/

Mostly i either power through or i say "done" on my scribbles and make a new one. And then keep making scribbles and sketches untill i find something im happy with (that's usually way diffrent from what I set out to draw [but I also have aphantasia so I never truly have something specific i set out to draw so like im used to it] ) For basically every more polished drawing you see here on my Tumblr Ive got maybe 1-3 sketches and 2 erased scribbles i never did anything with. Sometimes i just colour a sketch im only mildly unhappy/happy with and post it like my recent c!Bedrock bros art.

The thing is you don't have to be dishearted about only making sketches if you keep doing it because then you get better and youll be able to make sketches youre more and more proud of. (art is also sometimes also about habbit-> the biggest advices Ive always gotten is to keep drawing everyday (even if it's just boxes or idk hair) that itll help you improve even if the motivation isn't there or youre in an artblock)

Currently im feeling alot of motivation loss myself, which is why Ive not posted as much as I usually do. Which is why I've resolved myself to just keep drawing things im unhappy with untill i get over it <- i brute force it a bit... 😓 Or in worst case ill look at old sketches and just finish something im not that happy about to just get drawing back into my hand.

Worst case you can do like i did in the past (which i still SHOULD DO because Ive been struggeling too sometimes) and draw legs in diffrent poses. Just legs. Legs. Legs. This sounds strange but the likelyhood of you starting your drawings with the head is high so you might actually find it easier to draw more starting from somewhere else on the body. (comon advice is the hips bc that's where everything else goes out from in both directions)

Sometimes it also helps using a diffrent medium or brush. The reason my art shifts sometimes is because sometimes I find a brush i find it easy to draw losely and creatively with <- it's a strange psykological trick like writers writing in casual or funky fonts because it's not as "formal" which lessens pressure.

Because pressure is the killer of motivation in my personal experience, not pressure in deadlines, but in perfroming to perfection. It's also why i draw for myself mostly and kick myself mentally in the face when I get to caught up in drawing things that will do good on Tumblr or twitter instead of what give me brainrot.

Visual of my brain when it's going really well, regardless of how good the drawings are->

I hope any of this made any sense, i feel I rambled a bit all over the place so feel free to ask any questions. I don't have any profisional artist advice because Ive never had any art education outside a few videos on yt, so this is whatever i could think of right now.

ALSO REMEMBER TO USE REFRENCE OH GOD IM SO BAD AT THIS BUT YOU!!! YOU REMEMBER IT!! BE BETTER THAN ME!!! USE REFRENCE FOR POSES!!! FOR TEXTURE!!! FOR HAIR!!! FOR FACESS!!! FOR EVEYTHING IT ONLY IMPROVES YOUR ART!!!! AND ITS NOT CHEATING!!!

[wishchthumblr]

time for long and not re read vent post aha

i am genuinely so fucking mad at my mom rn

im crying over twitter because it seems like it’s actually breaking this time, more than last. and i know its “the shit site” and it’s “garbage” and whatever but i dont care because its my home. its the only social media (before now maybe tumblr too) that ive felt good using. insta made me feel so terrible and nothing else really worked before i got twitter.

i’ve always been more of a lurker than poster and twitter made that possible for me, its where ive spent over a year. its the first social media i actually enjoy using. and then that dick head bought it and is just breaking it on purpose at this point.

i went to my mom almost crying because my mental health has been so terrible recently that ive barely been able to bring myself to even use my phone, let alone twitter and the thought of Being Perceived brought me physical pain. and then im finally okay enough to go on it and talk to my friends and see the people i admire and the first thing i see is everyone leaving. and my mental health just goes down again.

im telling her about the new limit shit and how everyone is leaving and that //im scared// and she just. makes some joke about how “im sure that doesn’t apply to the musk supporters🙄” and something about musk’s relationship with chinese government

what. just WHAT

does she not see that im saying this with tears in my eyes? does she not hear that im about to cry in my voice? does she not see that i dont fucking care about the politics of it because im losing my friends and my outlet and the people i look up to and im losing the place i used to go to make myself feel better after dealing with everything in my real life and im losing the good memories.

she keeps doing this again and again and im so tired of it. your daughter is terrified of losing her friends and her safe place and you’re joking about chinese bots and politics? i feel like my mom doesn’t care

im literally crying while writing this and she’s posting on her facebook about some “oh but im sure the pro chinese gov and elon support accounts will still be able to tweet🤔🤔” bullshit

im so tired of her and other people disregarding my feelings and genuine heartbreak over losing my online support system because “oH iTs juSt TwiTtEr LOOLLLL itS alL ShiT anYwAy!!!!”. i hate you. i genuinely hate people who say that. how dare you just throw aside other peoples support systems and livelihoods like that just because its on a website you dont like. how fucking dare you. it doesn’t matter if the website comes back because you directly told me you dont care about my fear.

idk im just so tired of it. idk tumblr etiquette about venting or whatever but i needed to get this out. might delete later if i feel better idk. just. be nicer to people. just because you don’t relate doesn’t mean your dismissal isn’t breaking my heart and my trust in you. this is why i never tell people anything and just hide away whenever i feel terrible

[taffyforever]

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ HAPPY JUNE, DUNCIES !!!! ヾ(˵ •̀ ᴗ •́ ˵ )

happy summer, happy pride month, and a happy afternoon from me to you, duncies !! welcome to my BRAND NEW taffyblog !!!!!! i told yall i would do it and here i am !!!! ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

as my first order of taffyblog business, i encourage you to look around the site ! i havent edited tumblr html in ages so it was super fun going back to my roots for this project ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡ you may notice a... new face in that header..... i didnt want to go thru the effort of creating 2 headers for when i redebut, so congrats ! you get a sneak peek at some new art for the new design ૮(˶˃ᆺ˂˶)

i need to make a dedicated tweet for it, but my comms are very open rn !! if you're looking for a last minute summer outfit, or a very early winter outfit, i'm your gal ! of course my strengths lie in gyaru and similar fashions, but ive done anywhere between elegant seamstress to gothic vampire. send an ask here or dm on twitter/discord if you'd like to comm me or discuss any other services (illust, reactive png, etc) (๑>ᴗ<๑)ぐ〜♡

aight, business out of the way. how have you been, duncies ? (seriously, send me an ask and let me know !) i miss yall a lot, but i know im making the right decision being on hiatus. there's been some recent developments in my life that are making things a lot nicer for me, so i'm doing very well as of late. my physical health is pretty good ! isnt it crazy how when you take medication it makes u feel better lol. i am scared for the summer, as last year's heat wave was a major factor in me getting as sick as i did. i do have air conditioning now ! so hopefully things will be a lot easier. my mental health is also better, though i still need to take many steps in ensuring the best for myself. like, im good now, but im not set forever just yet. we work hard one day at a time 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼

ultrakill news: i've spent a loooottttt of free time cybergrinding......... like i might just guerilla soon because ive gotten much better since last you've seen. marksman my beloved im coinpilled now <3 i also got a p rank in clair de lune ! (haven't bothered to try the other levels yet i love cybergrind too much)

i have no geoguessr news that game is still as ass as ever </3 still love her tho (✿˶•ᵕ•)♡(• ᵕ •˶)

redebut is still set for august 25th ! very very excited to come back more cracked than ever ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ if you'd like to support me until then, follow my twitch if you havent yet ! you can also support me financially (IF YOU ARE IN A GOOD SPACE TO DO SO) by commissioning me or sending me a gift from my throne ! i am reworking my tipping page, so tips/donos are currently unavailable. i would heavily appreciate anything, but it is in no way necessary. you reading this and supporting me is enough <3 o(⸝⸝✦ᗜ✦⸝⸝)☆

thank you duncies for everything !!!! ⋆˚✿˖° i'll be updating this blog every so often before my redebut to keep yall posted on anything cool in my life. i really appreciate all of you for being here for me. i'm very excited for my return ৻( •̀ ᗜ •́ ৻) !!!!!!! ♡ ༘*. stay tuned on twitter for some rebrand changes (❀❛ ֊ ❛„)ಇ

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF BE KIND TO OTHERS KEEP IT P.L.U.R. ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝

[adelle-ein]

hi! i cant believe i saw ur post about my tags! (no worries about @ing or not @ing me.) and ur SO RIGHT about the quality being too high for 2013… (id also love an aesthetic writeup)

it really was just a surprise because the number of gif creators has been drastically reduced since this post type has been dying out on all other platforms. for me it gave me the similar vibe of recent dvd movies being redesigned for vhs covers (tho not quite that old). it was super charming!

and i hope i didnt imply that your gif work was bad or outdated! i think the colors are quite fitting and the quality speaks for itself.

im quite new to the fe3h and ferdibert scene, so im having a great time trawling tumblr for all the great posts ive missed since 2019. i was quite happy to see this particular gif post because it felt like such a classic tumblr staple, like all ships need (at least) one dedicated set of gifs/edits, and this was the one i needed 🥰

thanks again, for both your original post AND reply!

Hi! I'm glad there's no worries there, I went back and forth for a bit and I didn't want it to feel like a callout post because. it was very much not! I just wanted to talk about gif stuff a little bit

and I definitely don't feel bad about your comments or anything! At first I was surprised but when I went and looked at the gifset I definitely agreed with you (despite nitpicks about the time period heh.) It did make me think about how, in general, I don't think tumblr gif-making trends have continued changing as much since the mid-2010s, and if they have I stopped really keeping up with them. I think some of that is probably just me, esp due to my never buying Photoshop CC (i remember looking at others' methods in maybe 2016ish and seeing that I just didn't have the tools others did anymore. my old CS6 is still chugging along…) but also due to the site becoming less popular over time and there being less interest and fewer people getting into gif-making. Like you said it's a bit of a dying medium, and it's never really been a popular post type on other platforms, so if not for tumblr who would people be making gifsets for?

Lol I definitely feel you about that style of post being an older ship staple though! It used to be such a common thing that every fandom had (albiet less for video games bc that's often harder - I do not honestly remember really making that series of 3h ship gifs but that was definitely dedication to the cause at the time, there was so little media to work with). Now a bit of a dying art alas (including from me since I don't really make many gifs at all anymore….learning to draw instead for a number of reasons)

Anyway yes that was a fun rabbit hole to go down! Genuinely I would love to read a Tumblr gif/graphic aesthetic writeup - putting framerates aside I don't think people really use textures that much anymore for example unless they need a background, and sharpening has definitely been toned down. And fewer song quotes. And filters still lean more pastel than the really saturated stuff in the early 2010s. But I don't really have the time atm to do some kind of deep dive myself…it would be really neat though!

(Also just in general as someone who never left, seeing the site come back to life a little bit as the twitter BS kicked off has been fun…idk if it will last but i'm enjoying it while it does!)

[grgie]

I posted 1,266 times in 2022

That's 166 more posts than 2021!

59 posts created (5%)

1,207 posts reblogged (95%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@dingdongyouarewrong

@deathbyfiction

@colemckenzies

@spyderverse

@leaf-is-tired

I tagged 356 of my posts in 2022

#helena talks to the void - 29 posts

#goncharov - 16 posts

#helena speaks to people - 15 posts

#unreality - 12 posts

#knife gang - 12 posts

#taz duck - 5 posts

#work things - 4 posts

#my posts - 4 posts

#hmm - 3 posts

#tagged - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#he is also slightly blue bc i once got bright blue bedsheets without washing them first and they stained everything (including my skin) blue

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

i never give customers my name at work whenever they ask for it, not because i dont want them to use it to report me to my managers (although thats a bonus) but because of the fae. "can i have your name?" no :) nice try tho you tricky bastards

13 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

#4

uglystudies → grgie

url change!! i now track #grgie (although i'll still keep an eye on the uglystudies tag too, i just wont be reblogging study content to this blog anymore)

19 notes - Posted August 6, 2022

#3

my friend knows nothing about the dsmp or dream and george and is trying to put the pieces together through twitter

23 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

#2

a lil timelapse of me finishing and submitting my dissertation (32 minutes before the deadline) but i realised that this is likely the last study post i'll ever make (not that i was ever regularly posting lol) so its a little bittersweet! ive had this studyblr since 2015 (seven years holy shit thats a long time) and i do think its been an incredibly important part of my life, for better or worse. i started this blog in an attempt to hold myself more accountable whilst studying for my gcses and i think for most part it was helpful (ignoring 2016/17 studyblr... muji and overexposing our pictures really had a grip on us huh) despite the weirdly large number of asks i got from people telling me that i shouldnt do 5 a-levels (i did 5 and i aced all of them. suck it. AND i did an epq as well! extra suck it!)

apparently theres 15k of you, which i simply do not think is true (i imagine the vast majority of my followers are made up of long abandoned studyblrs) but for those of you who continue to stick around and like my silly little posts, even if we don't interact, ur huge and i appreciate u. ive made some many wonderful (and hopefully lifelong) friends as a result of studyblr and genuinely wouldnt change it for the world :')

i've mentioned this in the tags of a post recently but im going to change my url soon to a non study related one because im not studying anymore lol, but dw im not deleting this blog or anything, this blog has always been very loosely defined as a studyblr so you can expect plenty more dracula daily memes in the near future

also yikes that is not the most flattering angle lmao

44 notes - Posted May 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

[getting validation from mutuals about my spotify wrapped songs]: ah yes, i am winning in being a good mutual with good music taste, something both normal and possible to achieve

172 notes - Posted November 30, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →