#recovering anorexic

[mogai-headcanons]

icon id: 2 icons in a pair. both have the listed flags in order in the background and the left has an image of the listed character with a white outline and a black shadow.

banner id: a 1500x150 teal banner with the words ‘please read my dni before interacting’ in large white text in the center. end id.

Menhera-chan/Nanase Kurumi from Menhera Shoujo Kurumi-chan is a recovering anorexic lesbian who uses she/her and it/its pronouns!

dni link

[josiebelladonna]

top left pic: christmas 2016 (198 pounds—quite thin in retrospect, and i kept looking at my belly and pushing it out to make it look fatter, given i had wanted to be big since i was little) top right pic: halloween 2020 (225/210 pounds—more or less maintained my weight for four years, even through quarantine; if anything i lost weight during the height of covid; “more or less” because i bounced around 200 and 220 a lot, and the incident™️ made me lose a few) bottom left pic: thanksgiving 2021 (252 pounds—stepfather passed in april and all of a sudden, i noticed there was a lot of food in the house and he wasn’t around to give me hell for it, either) bottom right pic: thanksgiving 2022 (267 pounds—not my dream weight, 280+ pounds, but i wish i weighed this much 6 years ago. hell, i wish i weighed this much 10 years ago at the peak of my anorexia).

you know what amazes me is the fact i’ve kept my hourglass figure all this time. almost 70 pounds in 6 years, and you would think that i would be morbidly obese with a fat figure at over 250 

but you’d be wrong.

23 year old me wanted a round belly while still maintaining the curves, 5 year old me just wanted to be 250 pounds, and 19 year old me wanted to feel sexy and sensual. 

phew.

and guess what.

here’s to making 5 year old me’s daydreams—from all the times elizabeth and i tucked pillows under my shirts to pretend we had potbellies, to all the times i fantasized about eating more immediately after dinner, to all the times i’d sneak sweets when no one was looking and it’d give me the butterflies every time, to… the times i wanted to wear my shirt in a way to show off my belly to the world—a reality in 2023 (yes, i am suggesting giving the finger to the whole cliché of losing weight as a new year’s resolution and gaining more weight instead) 😋🍐🥧☕️

[girlblogger360]

I hate how all recovered anorexic people are still skinny... like I might just be a hating bitch but how are you going to stand there and tell me that bloating and gaining is healthy when you're literally very thin and do not come under the umbrella of "fat" and get viewed as fat by society, but you have the confidence to tell me that its fine if i gain weight. I personally believe that all of them are just fully lying about being recovered and just love giving out stale prepackaged "love yourself and love food" advice when they literally don't even believe in it.....

Honestly I wish I could be at peace with that type of advice but in actually it doesn't help anybody in the long run...

[krowkeeper]

Why isn’t there ads for people with anorexia who want to gain weight?

It used to be incredibly triggering to me seeing all these “lose weight” ads, plans, pills, etc.

I want ads for gaining weight!

It’s not taboo! It’s a known disorder and I’m tired of people pretending it’s just this big ole secret.

GIVE ME WEIGHT GAIN ADS.

[jacksoldsideblog]

truly nothing more depressing than seeing a blog glorifying self harm in the fight club tag in an unironic way and you click through to see its an anorexic 14 year old :/ i wish i could communicate like... it doesn't make you cool or better, it's not an actual way to control things in your life, i am so so sorry you think this is the sexy answer. but also jesus why do you blog about it

[jmtorres]

in a variant of useless arguments that unfortunately i can't just use the block button on, i am reliving a wtfry from like five years ago because i'm trying to sort through my medical history and figure out if i have any further lurking disasters and i'm currently stuck on

me: i am trying to eat healthier so i want to add more fruits and vegetables to my diet

nutritionist: no don't eat more fruits! that's too much sugar! sugar is bad for you!

like really we're not talking about processed foods or added sugars, this person straight up told me there was too much sugar in raw, fresh fruit

[cicadangel]

hmmm. maybe if people weren't so verbally repulsed by anorexics and self-harmers, who are not "in recovery" or interested in it, and didn't see that as a moral failing, people wouldn't be pushed to pro-ana and pro-self harm spaces-- the only places were people can feel free from being judged for that kind of thing, and places that will almost certainly make their struggles exponentially worse. hm.

[vorareromantic]

hi!! don't fucking do this!!

this is nearly impossible to filter out and your trigger warnings do absolutely nothing for the people who need them. spell it out. this isn't tiktok, you won't get banned. if you actually give a single shit about not triggering people, SPELL THE DAMN WORD OUT. NO ONE can think of all the ridiculous ways you can censor your trigger warning. they can't filter it out and WILL see your post without any protective measures

[girlblogger360]

I'm so funny cuz tell me why I was thinking that I could never date a skinny guy cuz I would use him as thinspo GIRL YOU ARE SO CRAZY WTF omg

[bisexualgoth]

me when the eating disorder makes my eating disordered

[aaafeminist]

(reblogs appreciated for bigger sample)

[hairtusk]

anorexic bitches stop writing bad novels about hating anyone who weighs more than you and get your ass into therapy 👆

[ghostlover4life]

you can be anorexic and bulimic. :)))

god knows I am!!!!

also it’s not possible to be a “fake” anorexic :) if you have an ed causing/driving you to fix to it calorically you probably have an ED in my opinion and there’s nothing wrong with that!!!! :)))!

why did this actually make me feel a bit better about my ED.

[diapause]

getting ads for fasting apps again for some reason and why do 90% of the people who do those ads look half dead

[tchaikovskaya]

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[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Hi PCE! I have a silly question for you if you have the time! Which of your characters are you the most like and why? :3

Oh goodness this question made me think HARD lmao the singular brain cell out here workin overtime bc y’all I literally have SO MANY DIFFERENT AUS SO MANY CHARACTERS AND I PUT A BIT OF MYSELF INTO ALL OF THEM BUT!!!

I gotta say, I think I poured the most of myself into my Kyles, and especially OrangeJuiceVerse Kyle.

So if you’re familiar w my insanity, you know ojv is my most involved au with 18+ stories and has wound up being my default state when I think abt my shit, and Kyle is kind of the first character I really fleshed out with that au? In a lot of ways, he’s a variant of me that I wish I could emulate better. He’s empathetic and passionate to a fault, feels so strongly about everything and everyone in his life, he craves validation and personal achievement, and is really hard on himself. He has a lot in common with Tweek (I’m extremely Tweek coded too) in the overthinking and sometimes paralyzing anxiety but the difference is that Kyle does tend to bounce back and forth with his emotions; he’s kind of a whirlwind.

A lot of my Kyles are very idealistic in their worldview, because I am. I want to believe that everyone is capable of good, that rainclouds make the sky light up silver, that birds in the winter will be safe and have somewhere warm to go. Like especially OJV Kyle, I want to make the world a better place and spread positivity, because we need that! And while irl I’m a nervous depressed piece of shit, deep down I want to believe that the world doesn’t actually suck, see the beauty, find the art in it all and give people the benefit of the doubt. That romanticism fucks me over sometimes, but Kyle’s in the same boat.

It’s also worth noting that I make every Stan I write a simp and a loser vegetarian because I am lmfao

THANK YOU FOR THE ASK I ENJOYED THIS