#red dawn was really bad and the day after was meh

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

Sometimes you will be assigned a movie for class and it will literally be one of the worst films you will ever watch.

[twdmusicboxmystery]

FTWD 6x11: The Holding

Wow! Where to begin with this episode? We had some super-stellar parallels going here. I don’t think it was any secret that I wasn’t thrilled with last week’s episode. It was fine, but also kind of meh. I LOVED this week’s episode. So much good stuff!

***As always, spoilers for 6x11 abound below. Don't read until you've watched!***

So, we learn about these “end is the beginning” people. They’re staying in a place called The Holding, which is really an underground parking garage. (Um…cars, anyone? Let’s recall that Daryl and Carol walked through at least one parking garage in Consumed while looking for Beth. They also passed lots of above-ground ones, including one that had a red car with its door open in front of it. Also, the fact that it’s underground could make it a symbolic tomb/grave.)

These people are composting walkers to grow food underground. (People do use blood and bone feed to fertilize gardens. Like compost and waste, it really does help them grow. Of course in our society it’s ANIMAL blood and bone. Using walkers/humans is definitely more sinister and cringy. And they have proven that eating various parts of humans leads to things like Mad Cow’s Disease, so I do think Alicia’s question about food being grown that way being healthy is viable.)

But moving on.

It’s important to note that the showrunner called this group a cult, so are not they meant to be “good people.” Most of those that live there aren’t sinister, but they’ve been brainwashed into thinking their leader is a good man and that what he’s trying to accomplish is good. They’ve drunk the koolaid (or eaten the walker food?).

So, we have the ivy walker.

There really couldn’t be a more clear parallel to the blond girl Daryl saw on the tree in 5x15. Plus all the green ivy around her.

I believe we saw a promo of this walker early on. Like maybe nearer the beginning of S6. Which, thanks to Covid, was more than a year ago. I’d pretty much forgotten it, but we actually do see it in this episode.

The dogma of this group (“the end is the beginning”) is that from death springs new life. This walker is meant to represent that. Life growing out of death. And on its own, it doesn’t seem like an overly negative mission statement. After all, this world is full of death and people are trying to survive. But it quickly becomes obvious that there’s more sinister stuff at work here.

So what does this have to do with Beth? I think she’s the ultimate symbol of life springing from death. So, not only does this foreshadow her, but they’re also using her as a symbol here. I don’t know how this group may feed into future story lines, or if they’ll just be a FTWD thing, but it will be interesting to watch.

Some of the major things in this episode: a Sirius reunion, a Daryl/Merle parallel, Grady parallels, at least two major Beth/Bethyl proxies, and some tantalizing hints for what’s to come involving both this group and the CRM. (See why I loved this episode?)

Let’s dive in.

First, let me acknowledge all the background symbols. There are tons of them, and I don’t want to go into tons of detail about them. But we see cheese (think Morgan/Eastman), tomatoes, eggs (lots of food). We also see fire extinguishers, lots of green (especially paint), an elevator. You get the idea.

The first big thing that happens is Wes meets his brother, Derek, whom he thought was dead. 

Welcome to the first Beth proxy.

Okay, I didn’t remember much of this backstory or how much of it was told when we first met Wes. I do remember talking about his brother as a possible Beth proxy, but beyond that, I didn’t remember details. But they rehash it all here. Care to take a guess?

Wes went out for supplies and was overwhelmed by, you guessed it, a walker horde. He ran into a shed but it collapsed (becoming something of tomb) and the walkers were beating on the outside, trying to get in (think Beth and Daryl in the trunk). He passed out and woke up in The Holding.

That’s exactly like what happened with Beth, actually. She told Gorman she was fighting a walker and everything went black. She woke up at Grady.

The difference here is that Beth never bought into what Dawn was peddling, but unfortunately, Wes’s brother did. We eventually learn that he’s a true follower of “Teddy,” the cult leader and condones the murder that’s being done.

And of course that’s also what we think happened during the missing 17 days. Overwhelmed by walkers, left behind. Perhaps she woke up back at Grady, or somewhere else.

But the actual reunion between Wes and Derek is very on-the-nose. Because Wes truly thought this brother dead, he even says things like, “You’re alive?” and “What the hell?” Probably things that will be said about Beth when she finally shows up.

There’s also a serious/Sirius mention when they sit down to talk. And Derek keeps mentioning his bike. Like Daryl, he had a bike that Wes took when he thought his brother dead. But the fact that he mentions “bikes” like five times in this conversation is important.

I wanted to mention coffee. We’ve seen coffee as a symbol before, specifically around Carol. We first noticed it when Paula told her little story about the carrot, the egg and the coffee beans going into the water in 6x13. She said the coffee beans changed the water itself. So, coffee = a catalyst for change. But this episode made me realize it’s a catalyst for a change that’s not necessarily good.

Apparently, the supplies Wes’s brother went out for was coffee creamer. The change that came was not only him being left behind and presumed dead, but changing into a person that no longer empathized with other human beings. (Correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t we see Carol making and drinking coffee just before they went to the caverns and Connie disappeared?)

There’s also a huge eye/sight/see theme. They take everyone over to see this green-ivy walker and ask them what they “see”. The idea is that they should see life and possibility springing from death, but it’s just a way to indoctrinate them and check to see if they’re willing to go along with what the cult’s beliefs are. Lots of talk of eyes (opening your eyes), what one can and can’t yet see, etc.

Later, we see walkers with their mouths sewn shut. So we have at least the see no evil, speak no evil themes. There might have been hear no evil that I didn’t catch.

The second major parallel is to Daryl and Merle, since these two are brothers. 

But it’s more than just that. Wes took Derek’s bike after he disappeared (same as Daryl and Merle). When Wes found his brother again, he was with a bad group (with Merle, it was the Governor) or rather a group of decent people led by an evil man. Derek has a skewed mindset, and is working for Teddy. Remember that Merle not only worked for the Gov but even tried to kill Michonne at one point. And how they die is…similar. Merle’s, in the end, was more chivalrous, as he died to help save Daryl and TF. That wasn’t the case with Derek, but his death resulted from him pretending to work against Teddy. Unfortunately it wasn’t real, and he betrayed them, but there are still parallels/anti-parallels between the two stories.

How is this place like Grady?

There’s the underground tomb aspect, the fact that they grow their own food. At the beginning, Alicia’s group keeps asking them questions about the community, which Riley (Nick Stahl) pretty much refuses to answer.

One of them is, “Are we allowed to leave?” or “Is anyone allowed to leave?” That, of course, instantly reminded me of Grady. Now, they never answer it directly, and at one point, Riley says they can decide if they want to stay or not. But by the time we get to the end of the episode, I’m pretty sure that’s BS. So, like Grady, no one’s really given the choice to leave. Even if they tell people they can.

They’re taken into a room with medical equipment at one point. It just looks a lot like Grady, though I could tell it wasn’t the same kind of medical equipment. We’re told that it’s embalming equipment.

In fact, Al says something that should catch your ear. She says, “they must have hit the funeral home.” Naturally all our minds will go to Alone, but she’s talking about the funeral home she and Dwight (I think) were at before. I don’t remember which episode, but we talked about it looking a lot like the funeral home in Alone. So, I think Al is saying these people, The Holding, raided that funeral home and took the equipment. Kinda makes me think the funeral home in Alone will come back into the picture at some point.

And it turns out, The Holding is embalming walkers. Al’s group ends up in a room with dozens of walkers strung up by their wrists (kind of like Daryl and Michonne were in Scars). They’ve been embalmed and their mouths have been sewn shut.

So, here’s where the plot becomes super interesting. I mentioned above that Riley told them they could choose to leave at some point, right? Al was saying that everything they’ve set up is impressive—food, power, water, they’re very self-sustaining—but it felt like they were preparing for something big.

He admits that they are. He says they are planning to soon close the doors permanently. He says they never want to go topside again, and the new way to live will be underground.

Later, when talking to Morgan, Al sort of implies that maybe it’s not so much about them choosing to go underground as that something will drive them underground for a long time. Almost like they’re preparing for a nuclear winter or something. But we don’t know exactly what it is.

I think what we’re supposed to infer is that they’re collecting walkers to use as compost in coming years. (They even call the walkers ‘posters.) They’re embalming the walkers to keep them “fresh.” Riley says the walkers last about 2 months in the composter before they break down entirely, so putting away 20 or 30 walkers really will last them for years.

CRM Ties

Wes and Al snoop through Derek’s room. They find maps of different communities and some of those transparent overlays that have the three rings of the CRM on them. That’s how they know that this group is attacking communities (like Tank Town) and that Derek knows all about it.

The other thing Al figures out from looking at Derek’s maps is that the group seemed to be tracking the CRM’s drop sites. She thinks they want to get their hands on a helicopter. (So, when it comes to Nora’s group, who was in the high rise, this group wasn’t after them. The roof was a helicopter drop site and that’s really who they were after. Though, they might have set the plague on Nora’s people because they are trying to kill humanity.) And given that this cult might be planning the end of the world, clearly them getting a hold of a helicopter would be a bad thing. 

Al tells Dwight she’s going to go look for Isobel and warn her. I think she’s just planning to go to the drop sites and wait for a helicopter to show up.

So, we have more potential interaction with the CRM through Al. And I’m really hoping we get some good Bethyl symbolism and clues through this storyline. I’ll definitely be keeping an eye on it.

Morgan and Burning it Down

Wes confronts him and talks him into leaving with them. At one point, Wes mentions Morgan. I think he just does it without thinking, because what would Morgan mean to his brother, right? But Derek instantly gets weird when he hears Morgan’s name, and Wes doesn’t really notice.

When they try to leave, they get caught, and it’s obvious Derek set them up. They’re taken to the embalming room, and Riley asks where Morgan is. They won’t say how they know him or why they want him, but they’re VERY interested in finding Morgan. 

I was thinking it might just be because Morgan killed those two guys in one of the early episodes when they attacked him in his truck, but they both died and wouldn’t have known his name from that encounter anyway. So I’m not sure what this is about. There are the tapes they were leaving at gas stations and such. Maybe that’s it, but it wouldn’t explain why they would want Morgan more than the others.

They’re taken to the embalming room and threatened with death. Derek takes Wes back to the ivy walker to see if he can “see” what Wes does. 

A fight ensues, and Wes throws Derek into the walker where he’s bitten. He shoots his brother so he won’t turn. The thing about this part is that it doesn’t show it. It instead shows the (somewhat yellowish) mural Derek was working on before, and Teddy’s voice is talking about how light comes from darkness. Then, we just hear a single gunshot. 

That gave me *major* Beth vibes.

Wes then goes back to the embalming room to rescue the others.

Wes’s reaction at this part reminded me a bit of Daryl/Merle too. Not so much at Merle’s death, but back in 3x10 when Daryl returned to the prison. It just struck me that, while Wes did cry when his brother died and clearly mourned him, he got over it really fast. He went back to where the group was and no longer seemed terribly broken up about it. I was just thinking he seemed to have figured out who his true family was and where he really belonged, and that that was more important than his brother’s warped mindset. Much like Daryl and Merle.

When he goes back, he takes Riley hostage briefly and they all escape into another room and bar the door. This room is full of the hanging walkers full of embalming fluid. They have to walk between them toward an exit on the far side.

Al Parallels Daryl in 5x15

Here’s another super interesting parallel. Al sees one walker hanging that has the black CRM gear on it, including the helmet, so she can’t see its face. She walks over to it and lifts its helmet, clearly looking to see if it’s Isobel, which it’s not. Such an obvious parallel to Daryl looking into the face of the blond walker on the tree. It even lunges at her and she kills it, like Daryl did with that walker.

What I liked here is that Alicia freaked out about it. She said, “what the hell was that?” Aaron didn’t say that to Daryl, so they weren’t drawing as much attention to it there as they did here. But clearly we are supposed to notice that, without knowing more, that behavior is bizarre. And here, we the audience know that Al was worried it was Isobel. But Alicia doesn’t. Where the blond walker on the tree is concerned, the audience is in Alicia’s place, not being terribly clear about what’s behind Daryl’s behavior. (I mean, TD is, but most of the rest of the fandom isn’t.)

So then Alicia says they should take this place down. When Al stabbed the CRM walker in the neck, embalming fluid poured out. Embalming fluid is highly flammable. So, long story short, Alicia stays behind to “burn it down” and the others escape. (I don’t have to explain that parallel, right? ;D)

It all happens really fast. We see Alicia light the match (which Al had; just reminded me of Daryl having matches in Rick’s hallucination in 7x01, and clearly Al = Daryl in this parallel), and then it skips to Al, Wes, and Luciana back with Morgan telling him what happened. They say the fire was huge and burned hot, and Alicia could have gotten out, but they couldn’t FIND her. They also don’t know if any of the Holding people got out.

So Morgan just says they’re going to go back and start at the Holding location to look for Alicia. I’m assuming that will happen next episode.

So, we aren’t exactly clear on this group’s dogma or what they’re trying to do, but it does seem that they want to kill off everyone who lives up top. Which is, you know, everyone. And once again, that makes them a lot like the Wolves. They believe killing people is saving them. I’m not saying these are Wolves or anything (they might be; after all, both groups tied a blond walker to a tree and believed similar things about killing off the remnants of humanity) but rather that the Wolves were a foreshadow of other groups to come.

And the next question is, are they part of the CRM? Because of the CRM walker, and what they implied about them trying to hijack a helicopter, I’m thinking not. But there’s clearly a lot of entanglement going on.

Alicia = Beth

So, in the final scene, we have some interesting developments. This may be the scene that got my mind spinning the most, just in terms of symbolic Beth potential.

We see Alicia, very much alive, and still in the embalming room, though now all the walls look blackened. So obviously the entire place didn’t burn down. (That doesn’t surprise me. It’s an underground parking garage. It takes a lot to burn down cement.)

She’s being held hostage in there. Riley comes in and says some weird, cryptic things. He says new life springs from death, for MOST people, and that they plan to preserve Alicia exactly as she is. It’s obvious they mean to kill and embalm her.

But I had the thought that maybe they meant her to take the place of the Ivy Walker. We don’t know what happened to that walker. It might have burned in the fire, but they didn’t show us either way. I was thinking that it would make a twisted sense for them to embalm Alicia (who tried to take their community down) and put her in its place. Which would make her a Beth proxy.

Riley leaves her alone with the embalming guy, but she stabs him in the eye (Sirius) and then, after a brutal scuffle, sticks him in the neck with the embalming needle, killing him.

It’s then that we finally meet Teddy, the leader of the cult. We hear about him and hear his voice a lot during the episode (they play tapes of him talking throughout the garage as people work) but this is when we first see him. It’s John Glover. I don’t know if everyone’s familiar with him. He was on Smallville back in the day. I totally forgot he was going to be on the show. He’s usually a villain, but more of a funny villain than a scary villain.

Anyway, he basically tells Alicia he has a special role for her and that he’s been looking for someone like her for a long time. He seems convinced that he can convert her to his philosophy, but he’s also fixated on the fact that she sacrificed herself for her family. So, it doesn’t say what he means by “someone like you” but I’m assuming someone who is brave or else self-sacrificial.

But here’s the thing. I’ve been thinking recently that they haven’t really done much with Alicia lately. She’s one of the few surviving originals for this series, and one of the most well known actors going into it, because she’s been on other highly-watched tv shows, but they’ve kind of been ignoring her.

So, I think this is the beginning of a big arc for her, and I think it will be a major parallel for what happened with Beth after she was left behind.

Alicia becomes a proxy here for Beth, not only because she’s in the Grady-like medical room, and stabs a guy in the eye, but Teddy totally razzes her about being left behind.

He says, “they left you behind.” She says, “I made them.” He says, “Yeah, but they obliged.” And then goes off about how they’re her family and family is sacred and they shouldn’t have done that.

And in my head, I’m screaming, “Beth! Beth! Beth!”

So yeah. Super intrigued by this episode. They’re setting up some really intriguing things and it will be very interesting to see what happens moving forward.

What did everyone else think of the episode?

[avis-writeshq]

Bakugou Katsuki x Reader: In Case You Didn’t Know

Requested: By myself

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x Fem!Reader

Summary:  As far as everyone could tell, you were friends with Bakugou. The two of you had quite the history, after all. But when one is never able to convey his feelings, things can take quite a turn.

Warnings: Coarse language (I mean, it’s Bakugou), fluff, a bit of angst, trash writing

Other: For mah good friend @lyz-fics who needs a heck ton of comforting because sChoOL. Also loosely based off of the song ‘In Case You Didn’t Know’! Oh, and whipped this baby up in half-an-hour so don’t hate meh

Word count: 1,738                                                                                                  

 Things you probably wanna know, for all you ‘x reader’ illiterates:

(Y/N): Your Name

(H/C): Hair Colour / Color

(E/C): Eye Colour / Color

(N/N): Nickname

 ***

As far as everyone could tell, you were friends with Bakugou. It was true that you hung around him quite often, always cheering him on during fights and standing by him whenever there was something going on. It came to the point where many believed you and Bakugou were a thing until he shot that idea down quite harshly. You were basically a stray puppy following the person who gave you food and the unlucky person just happened to be him. In all honesty, the male had actually grown accustomed to you being around him. He certainly made a use for you, too.

 There were multiple times where he made you be his ‘errand girl’. In other words, kind of a slave. He would order you around saying, “Get me some water!” or, “I asked for luke-fucking-warm! Who the fuck drinks freezing cold water?!”

 There were multiple occasions where Momo or Ashida asked why you even bothered with Bakugou. Your answer was always the same.

 “I want to support him in any way I can. He and Izuku are my good friends. Even if my quirk isn’t strong for battles, I can still help out with healing!”

 Unfortunately for you, despite always being the one to cheer him up, you would sometimes end up on the receiving end of Bakugou’s wrath. Usually, it was nothing crazy, just him ranting and complaining about the class.

“FUCKING DEKU!” Bakugou yelled one day as he stormed into his dorm. Throwing his glass of water to the ground, you made a mental note to always use a water bottle when giving him his water.

You raised an eyebrow, barely looking up from the book you were reading. “What happened this time, Katsuki-Kun?”

 “Does he take me for a fucking fool?”

“You’re acting quite foolish at the moment,” you drawled, suppressing the smile that was trying to stretch across your face.

He grunted angrily, sounding between an angry pig or a pooping cow. You didn’t bother saying anything more as you placed your book down and began to gather the broken glass. Katsuki did a double-take. Did he seriously think that you would get away with picking up glass with your bare hands?

“Oi, what the fuck are you doing, idiot?”

You blinked. “I’m cleaning the mess that you made…?”

He ran a hand through his unruly hair. “You’re gonna get hurt, dumbass. Use a broom or something.”

“It’s carpet,” you deadpanned, continuing to pick up the pieces of glass only to have one prick into your skin. You hissed, drawing your hand back. It was drawing a little bit of blood, and there was no doubt a small shard of glass embedded into your skin.

“See, what the fuck did I tell you?”

You sighed, “I can heal myself.”

“There’s a piece of glass in your hand. You tryna get infected or something?”

“Baku-“

You were cut off by him lifting you up and forcing you to sit down, grabbing a pair of tweezers from his first aid kit. “Hold still, dammit.”

“I can handle- hey, that hurts!”

“Well, I got the fucking glass out! Now say thank you.”

You sighed. “Yeah, thanks. I’ll ask Iida for a vacuum.”

With that, you walked out of the dorm room. Meanwhile, Bakugou was trying to ease his rapidly beating heart. God, why did you have to put yourself into dangerous situations like that? Were you trying to make him worry or something? He wiped his face to calm himself down. Dammit.

***

Bakugou had no filter. And this was one of his… not so good moments. He was pissed. Up to the point where Kirishima, Ashida, Jiro and the others were too scared to go into the common room. The door was cracked open slightly, and they all peaked through waiting for Bakugou to go back into his dorm or faint from exhaustion. That’s how you came upon the scene. You wanted to get your notebook to show Izuku different costume designs when you were bombarded with requests.

“(Y/N), Bakugou is going crazy!” Sero exclaimed, not giving you a chance to say something.

Ashida nodded, “Yeah! He’s not letting us go into our dorms! I just want to take a freaking shower!”

“He’s getting in the way of our schedules!” Iida said, chopping the air with his hand. “If this keeps happening, the teachers will end up getting involved!”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. They were acting as if Bakugou was some crazy monster or something; in reality, he can be a real softie sometimes. You were sure that there was just a small misunderstanding between him and one of his classmates.

The students led you to the door of the common room, and you couldn’t help but survey the damage. What the hell? A vase was broken, the TV had a crack in it and a phone was thrown promptly across the room.

“So this is what you do when I’m not around.” You remarked, drawing the attention of Bakugou who was sulking on the couch.

“No my fault everyone is acting like a piece of shit,” Kutsuki grumbled, “Fucking extras.”

“What did they do?” You asked gently, glancing at the TV that was very much needing a replacement.

He didn’t say anything. This probably meant it was really stupid.

Tapping your foot on the ground and crossing your arms over chest, you gave him a pointed look. “They didn’t do anything, did they?”

“I’M TELLING YOU THEY DID!”

“You didn’t tell me anything,” you argued.

“If you’re gonna act like that, why don’t you just run along with fucking Deku?”

You blinked. “I’m just trying to help you.”

“WELL, I DON’T NEED YOU! I DON’T NEED YOUR FUCKING HELP OKAY?!”

Silence. There was no doubt the other students heard his outburst from behind the door. “Is that how you really feel?”

“Wait-”

It must have dawned on him. The look on his face said so, anyway. He looked like he was going to punch himself.

“Fine. I’ll go.”

And with your tears brimming in your eyes, you stormed out of the room, Uraraka catching your arm. She looked like she was about to say something but you cut her off. “The common room will be empty in 5 minutes. Count on it.”

You were right.

***

3 weeks. You had been ignoring Bakugou for 3 weeks. It was getting to the point where even Aizawa felt as if something was up. Hell, you even went up to him to ask if you could swap seats with Aoyama who was the furthest away from him and closest to the door. It was a strange request coming from you; you were always sitting directly next to Bakugou – why did you want to change now? Tsuyu was also concerned, and as your closest friend besides Katsuki, she knew something was going on between the two of you.

Mina was doing her best not to push you together because she knew you would kill her for that. But the tension in the air was unbearable. You were always the one initiating conversations, so that was why the classroom was always so lively in the morning. For the past couple of weeks, there was only obvious tension as Bakugou got angrier and angrier.

‘What are you doing talking to stupid Deku? Why the hell are you laughing with him? Is he better company than I am?’ he thought to himself, glaring at the wall.

That’s when he heard it.

“Hey, (Y/N), what’s up with you and Kacchan?”

The room froze. Mina and Ochako were right by your side, while Asui grabbed a bar of chocolate for you. You just smiled. “Nothing’s up.”

“But aren’t you guys close? I thought you were together or something…” Midoriya continued, ignoring the warning looks from Momo.

“No, not really. And we’re not together.”

That was the last straw. Storming across the classroom, Bakugou had grabbed your wrist and pulled you out of the room, ignoring Iida’s complaints about it being 5 minutes until class.

“Hey! What are you-”

“Just shut up already!”

You tugged your arm away from him, rubbing your wrist lightly. “What do you want?”

He flinched at his steely tone, eyes fixed on your wrist. “Did I hurt you?”

Scoffing, you shifted your footing so that you were leaning on your back leg. “It’s not the first time.”

“Why are you talking to Deku?”

“What’s wrong with me talking to him? He’s my friend, Bakugou.”

He can’t remember the last time you called him by his last name. Has it really been that long ago? “I didn’t mean what I said,” he mumbled, a tinge of red on the apples of his cheeks.

“What did you mean? My friendship wasn’t something you wanted, I get it. I just thought that you would have… I don’t know… been more comfortable with me after time.” You rolled your eyes preparing to walk back to your class. “Apparently, that’s not the case.”

“I am comfortable around you!” He yelled suddenly, his face getting redder. “Why do you have to make it so… so hard?!”

“I make it hard? I’ve been helping you for the past year! I’ve been cheering you on, helping you train, healed you. What did I do that is so bad?!”

Despite the rapid beating of his heart, Katsuki took your hand and pulled you towards him so that you collided with his chest. With your ear pressed directly against his chest, he tried to calm himself down. “Ya hear that? That is what you do to me.”

You felt your face burn as you listened to his heartbeat. It was quick, slightly uneven, and his chest rose and fell with his breaths.

“Do you like me?”

His breath was caught in his throat. Shit. He buried his face in your neck. “Yeah. I do.”

[itzagothamcitysiren]

Welcome to the Family

I went missing for a few days, I’m sorry about that. I haven’t been feeling the greatest and had to put my dog down late Saturday night. So that was pretty rough. I’m still kinda meh, but felt some inspiration to sit down and finish what I have planned for you guys. 

So pretty much how these next few chapters will work is that they’ll each be about a different part in Jason and Halley’s relationship before and leading up to Death in the Family, because that’s coming up soon! 

Like You Imagined When You Were Young pt. 1

           Being back at Titan’s Tower was something Halley hadn’t quite been ready for. She’d been excited, of course, but she hadn’t been back to the Tower in almost two years now. She felt bad, not having the chance to visit really. She had fully dived into her life in Gotham, having been living in the manor for close to two years at this point now. Between school, being Nightshade, and her new found normal teenage life, she sort of pushed the Titan’s aside.

           She saw them all once over the summer for her sixteenth birthday when Dick threw her a pool party at the manor and invited the entire team. It had been a great day and she hadn’t realized how much she had missed them all. She wished she could make more time for them but she was reaching the end of her junior year of High School, and the pressure was already starting to be put on her and even Jason to get ready for college by not just her teachers but by Bruce.

           She was all too crazy about or good at school, only really having an interest in her English and History classes, and of course Journalism. Her talent for it came out of nowhere but she ran with it, finding herself getting excited as her teacher started talking about possible summer internships the school offered with different newspapers and outlets. Of course, only if all of her grades were good would she even be considered for the internship, so her hopes weren’t being set to high.

           At first she’d been pretty annoyed when Bruce told her that he was sending herself and Jason off to stay with the Titans for their winter break, him having to attend to Justice League business and wanted to give Alfred some time off while he was gone. Jason insisted that they’d be fine alone in the manor alone for two weeks but Bruce knew better. So after a phone call with Dick, they were now set up at the Tower until Bruce could come back.

           “So you really don’t want to check out the Tower with me? Babe, they got an entire room dedicated to obstacle courses! This place is better than the fuckin’ Batcave!” Jason said, clearly overly excited about their stay.

           “Jay, I’ve lived here before. I know everything this place has to offer.” She rolled her eyes but didn’t removed them from her laptop as she continued to furiously type away. “Also, watch your mouth. You never know who’s listening in this place.”

           “I’m pretty sure they won’t care if I say the word fuck,” Jason chuckled, plopping himself down on her bed. Resting his arms underneath his head, he looked up at the ceiling; he was so excited to be able to bring Robin out of Gotham without Bruce’s watchful eyes.

           “I didn’t mean that.” She laughed back, letting her head fall forward in amusement. She let her fingers halt their movements, feeling them grow cramped. Leaning back into her chair, she stretched out her muscles, satisfied when she heard a pop. She craned her head to look at Jason, still resting it against the head of the chair. “You called me babe.”

           “Oh dear me, I am so terribly sorry for calling my girlfriend babe.” He exclaimed, a little too loudly for her liking.

           “Jason!” She hissed, shooting him a warning look as he sat up from his spot.

           She watched him gingerly as he swept his feet over the bed until they rest on the floor. Placing his hands on his knees he pushed off them until he stood, walking the short distance from the bed to her. He stood behind the chair, placing his hands on her shoulders. Giving them a gentle squeeze, he began to massage them, feeling how tense she was from focusing so much on her school work.

           She relaxed slightly, forgetting how Dick or anyone could just barge right into her room at any second. She let her eyes close as Jason continued to move his fingers up and down her shoulders, squeezing and pulling the knots out. Before she could stop herself she let out a moan as he hit a particular spot. She hadn’t even realized the sound she made until she felt Jason’s lip on top of hers. Now completely and uttering in a trance she let herself moan again as he deepened the kiss and let his hands wander downwards, her feeling them brush against her chest-

           Her eyes shot open, seeing Jason’s face titled down above hers and smirked, playfully swatting his hands off of her. He let out a grunt, protesting but when she swatted at him a second time, he pouted but pulled away. She sniggered at him before patting his cheek gently with her hand.

           “You have a death wish don’t you?” She teased, pulling her chair forward and turning her attention back to her laptop that rested on her desk.

           “No, but I do wish to be able to do things to my girlfriend.” He pouted a second time, resting his upper body on the head of her chair.

           “You whine a lot,” She teased but softened her face when she found she was the only one who found her comment amusing. “Jay, come on,” she sighed, feeling bad but knew that this wasn’t like back at home. “It’s two weeks. You can wait two weeks.” She said, not only trying to reassure him but herself.

           “Says you,” he grumbled, turning around to go back onto her bed. He face planted into her pillows, muttering something under his breath that she couldn’t make out and didn’t bother to ask him to repeat.

           They’d been here for three days already, they were semi-almost halfway there. They could get through this, she once again repeated to herself, blushing as she thought about how silly their whole problem really was. It was actually quite comical actually, causing her to cover her mouth in order to suppress a giggle as she snuck a glance at Jason’s distressed form.

           They’d just started to be more intimate with each other, only having sex a handful of times now. She felt her cheeks burn just thinking about it, trying to focus back on her paper. Now wasn’t the time to be thinking of those things right now especially not while she was so close to finishing her English paper. But she had now found herself losing her train of thought completely. Her eyes trailed back to Jason only for her to shake her head and turning back to the screen.

           Dick’s room was right down the hall, along with Wally’s and Hank and Dawn’s; there was no way they wouldn’t be heard. Though, she knew Wally and Dick had gone out for the day, stating they’d come back around dinner time with pizza. And Hank and Dawn would most likely not be interested in spying on them in the slightest no matter how much Dick begged them.

           She found herself biting her thumb as she thought about it, until she ultimately saved her word document and shut her laptop silently. She slowly looked towards her door, knowing that it was locked but if Dick suspected anything he knew the code to unlock it. Taking another look at Jason she felt her thighs push themselves together deciding on taking a note from Jason’s book and say fuck it and stood up from her chair.

           As she rose up, she started to pull her shirt up until it was up over her shoulders and her head, tossing it down to the ground hurriedly. Jason heard her stand and lifted his head up enough to peer an eye out at her, a smirk pulling itself up on his face. She gave him a daring look as she moved to take off the rest of her clothes, knowing they’d have to be quick as there was only about an hour before dinner time.

           “You gotta be quiet though,” she warned him as he sat up, pulling her down onto the bed.

           “Oh yeah, sure,” he muttered sarcastically as he flipped them so she was beneath him. “I’ll be quiet.” He teased before leaning down to capture her lips with his own.

           The pair meshed together, their bodies moving in synth and making sure the other was taken care of. They’d begun to get a rhythm down, having learned what the other liked and what the other didn’t. It wasn’t awkward as the first couple of times, the first being something they still laughed in shared embarrassment about, both having been truly unsure of their movements. It wasn’t anything like it was now; now once they done their cheeks weren’t red from embarrassment but just from exhaustion.  

           Once Jason finished cleaning himself off, knotting off and throwing the condom in the trash barrel in her room’s bathroom, he returned to her bed. He crawled in next to her, pulling her back to his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around her, loving the feeling of her still naked body against his. She pushed up against him finding it comfortable in his warmth but knew they couldn’t stay this way forever.

           “We should get dressed,” she said sadly, wishing they hadn’t had to rush. She missed him, not used to not being able to share the same bed with him at night as Dick was still suspicious of them and did periodical bedroom checks at night.

           “Give me a minute.” Jason’s voice was muffled by her hair as he snuggled into her neck.

           “You’ve had a minute,” she said patting the arm that wrapped around her waist. She began to drag herself out of the bed, shivering from the lack of coverage. Jason’s hand trailing up and down her back also didn’t help with her growing goosebumps, she smirked as she reached down to pick up her underwear.

           Jason reluctantly followed, not instantly getting up to change but instead sitting up and leaning against the headboard to watch her change. He watched as she slipped her sports bra back on, wanting to frown as she did so but found himself smiling at the sight before him. He hadn’t thought they’d be where they were today. It wasn’t like he saw themselves not lasting long, but it was just hard to picture himself with someone like her.

           He didn’t know how she put up with him and was sure he’d annoyed her away from him. He was a hard person to get along with, being closed off and slow to open up. But the two off them had clicked almost instantly; almost, he had been quite the asshole to her at first, something he still apologized to her for. He wanted to think that he didn’t deserve her or more so that she could do better than him but he also wanted to think that he did deserve her. He’d been through enough where he thought he should at least have one good thing in his life.

           “You know I love you right?” He found himself saying as she pulled up her leggings.

           She paused once her pants were up over her hips, looking at Jayson after he spoke. Of course she knew that he loved her. Sure, they didn’t outwardly say it a lot, not really needing to. It was kind of an unspoken thing that only became spoken when it felt right or needed. She could remember them saying it two times, seriously at least, like it was yesterday.

           Obviously she remembered the first time they told each other. It had been a few dates after they first snuck out to go on a date together. This time they opted on going to a concert for one of Jason’s favorite bands. They told Bruce that they’d be out with Dylan and all of them, knowing that even though Bruce actually and surprisingly liked the Clash, he wouldn’t let them go to some punk show in a not so great area of Gotham.

           Halley had never been to a concert before and was somewhat afraid when she watched the crowd willingly thrashing their bodies together, knocking into each other and flaring their arms out. Moshing, was what Jason had called it but Halley just called it stupid. She tried to stay focus on the show, loving the sound of the pounding drums and heavy bass lines.

           Her favorite song from the band was being played when she saw a body come flying towards her. She clung to Jason like a child, pulling herself out of the way before she could be knocked down. She stayed like that for the next couple of songs and apparently the guy behind them thought her fear was hilarious and proceeded to shoved her into what Jason had also called the pit.

           She didn’t remember much, feeling herself enraged as she was pushed around and prodded by elbows and other body parts. She pushed her way out in a matter of minutes even though it felt longer. Her hair was a mess and her shirt was slightly jerked up, revealing her stomach; she hadn’t even realized she lost her beanie until she had gotten home that night.

           She saw Jason and the older guy who pushed her arguing, Jason clearly pissed that he had done so. She was going to grab Jason’s arm and pull him away, not wanting to chance him breaking into a fight because Jason would obviously lay the guy flat on his ass if that had happened but she stopped herself. The guy was either drunk or just didn’t care about punching a kid right in their face because that’s exactly what he did, after vulgarly declaring that he should “take his bitch home” and that it was past their bedtime.

           She marched right up to him, cutting Jason off as he was about to punch him back with his free hand; his other was now holding his bloody nose. She stared up at the guy, her eyes almost venomous and found herself stomping on his foot with her platform combat boots she had just bought. As he cried out, calling her a bitch again, she raised her leg, kneeing him as hard as she could in his groin. He reeled forward in pain and she used it as leverage to use her favorite move and flip him over her shoulders.

           She didn’t care if it was excessive but she was mad. The people around them parted, some laughing, some sneering at the teenagers. Her heart pounded at the sudden attention but focused on Jason when his hand grabbed hers. His face looked ecstatic as he smiled widely at her with wide eyes, the blood from his nose now dripping onto his t-shirt.

           “I fuckin’ love you,” He shouted before catching himself.

           “You-you do?” She stammered, slightly shouting so he could hear her.

           Jason looked down, having some difficulty maintaining eye contact with her as he realized what he had just revealed. He’d only just come to terms with his feelings and recognizing them as love towards her. He let out a shallow breath before nodding. “Erm, yeah. I do. I love you,”

           “Oh.” She said feeling her toes curling up in her boots. “I- um, I love you too.”

           The other time they had exchanged I love you’s hadn’t been so harmless in retrospect. It had been on Halloween night and Scarecrow of course thought it was the perfect time to test out his new fear gas. With the help of the G.C.P.D. they were able to subdue the leak and affected people into one area of the city as Bruce, and with the help of Lucius Fox, rushed to make an antidote.

           It had been the first time they were allowed to patrol alone, Batman needing more ground covered. He even called in Nightwing and Batgirl for backup. Halley had met Barbara once, liking her but never worked with her; it felt weird working with another female on the team.

           When Nightshade dropped down from above after seeing a little boy being cornered by a group of clearly infected men she wasn’t prepared for them to get the upper hand; she was too focused on grabbing the boy and getting him to safety. She knocked down most of them but one had snuck up behind her, crying about how she was some sort of demon or whatever; who knew what he was seeing. He punched her in the face, cracking her gas mask as her head was slammed into the concrete, knocking her out cold.

           Robin had swooped down, taking them down easily as they were now distracted. When they were all down, he saw how her mask was cracked and panicked, not wanting the gas that was still in the air to affect her. Without thinking he ripped his own mask off and replaced hers with it.

           When Nightshade came too, she noticed the child had already ran away but she was still not alone. Robin laid a little away from her, curled up into himself as he cried. It didn’t take long before she realized what he did and freaked out. Why would he do that? She rushed over to him and didn’t flinch when he jumped at her touch. He was stammering on about his mother, her noting him crying for someone to stop.

           “Hey! It’s me!” she shushed, brushing his hair out of his face, noting how he was sweating. Without a thought she clicked her emergency signal on her belt, knowing that there were hundreds of others who needed help but she could only see Jason. “You’re okay, I got you. Ja- Robin,” She corrected herself, trying to keep herself from having a panic attack. “Robin, you’re okay.”

           The next morning Jason woke up in his bed with the worst migraine he’d ever had in his life. It didn’t take long before it all came back to him and he let out a loud groan. He’d never hallucinated that hard in his life. He’d been sprayed with fear gas once before and had to be put under anesthesia when he broke his leg really bad during his first year of being Robin and thought those times were bad but holy shit was last night a rough, he thought.  He swore he was back hiding under the dining room table in his parent’s shitty apartment as they went through one of the bouts.

           “You’re awake!”

           He looked to his left to see Halley, looking more exhausted than he probably did, sitting on a chair next to his bed. He felt bad, clearly seeing how worried she looked, before he could apologize she punched his upper arm. He cried out, “Ow! What the hell was that for?”

           “You scared me, you asshole!” She shouted. She hushed herself, not wanting to bring the attention of Alfred or Bruce into the room.

           She brushed her hair over her shoulder before looking towards the door. Looking back at Jason she stood from the chair and leaned down to pull his face to hers, giving him a rough kiss. When she pulled away, her eyes searched his, as if making sure the antidote Bruce and Fox came with was really working.

           “Why would you do that? I can’t believe you did that!” She hissed, feeling her eyes water up, remembering his face being so afraid of her touch last night. “I love you so much and you shouldn’t have taken your mask off.”

           “I took my mask off ‘cause I love you.”  Jason teased, somewhat enjoying her fretting. She slapped him again causing him to laugh and concede, reaching to grab her hand in surrender.

           “Gross, that’s so cheesy, Todd.” She scrunched her face up and snorted.

           Halley stopped her train of thought when she saw Jason give her a confused look, wondering why she just suddenly froze. She took her head, looking around to find where she had thrown her shirt. She couldn’t find it and instead just threw on Jason’s, not even thinking twice about it.

           “Yeah I know.” She said as she straightened it out over her. She looked up at him curiously, “I love you too. What’s wrong?”

           “Nothing’s wrong,” he waved her off. It was true, he was completely satisfied at the moment. Well not completely; he had wished that she was back underneath the covers with him and her clothes were back on the floor.

           “You sure?” she pressed, grabbing his boxers off her floor and tossing them to him.

           “Yeah,” he assured, catching the material in his hands. “I just wanted to tell you I loved you that’s all. You know? I love you, don’t make it weird.” He shrugged, feeling heat rush back up to his cheeks.

           His awkwardness was adorable to her and she couldn’t help but feel her features soften. With a light chuckle she moved towards the bed, jumping onto it and on him. He huffed, telling her to go easy has she roughly made her way on top of him, straddling his waist. She could still feel him underneath her clothes and seats and hummed. Maybe they did have time for another go?  

           Jason got the same idea just from the look in her eyes and was already pushing his shirt off of her as his lips attacked her neck. Halley let out a soft moan, grinding her hips down. She was about to raise her arms so he could remove the shirt from her torso but both teens froze, hearing the sound they dreaded hearing: the sound of a code being entered into the keypad outside of Halley’s door.

[himbowelsh]

webgott + jane/ chicken pox

a little fall of meme can hardly hurt me now  ( accepting )

AN:  this is almost certainly not what you were hoping for, but do you have ANY IDEA how much i’ve missed this little family??  writing jane??  this is officially part of the single dad web au and i regret nothing

It takes exactly thirty seconds of Googling for Joe to declare Webster banned from the house.

“What?” Webster exclaims, bracing himself against the doorframe as his fiancé blocks his way. “Are you serious? This is my house.”

“Our,” Joe corrects, because this is the hill he’s willing to die on, but not one Webster should. “The day I moved in, it became my house, and I’m temporarily kicking you out.”

“This isn’t funny, Joe. Let me in.”

“Nope,” Joe declares, and moves to slam the door in his face. Webster blocks it, and nearly gets a broken shoulder for the trouble. He’s nothing if not determined, the idiot. Gritting his teeth, Joe moves to shove him out, but Webster takes advantage of his loose stance to push himself further inside.

“My name is on the lease, so you can’t evict me — Joe, seriously, what the hell?” Finally, Webster pushes his way inside; he stands in the middle of the living room, hands on his hips. Webster’s got a Dad Mode, obviously learned through experience, and it’s in full gear now; he looks like he’s about to take away Joe’s X-Box for a week, though the genuine anger on his face speaks for itself. “What are you trying to do?” he demands, taking a step forward. “My kid’s in there, and she’s sick, so what do you mean I can’t be in there with her —“

“She’s got spots, Web,” Joe interjects, voice flat. “They showed up while you were at the store. Her arms are covered in them.”

Webster processes this for a moment, understanding dawning across his face. “Just chicken pox, then? Okay, that’s not so bad.”

Joe snorts, running a hand through his hair to force it back. When Webster raises an eyebrow at him, he just shakes his head. “That alone tells me you ain’t ever had chicken pox. So you’re gonna stay out of this house until Jane’s better, and I’ve deep cleaned everything. Not taking any chances.”

“Joe. Come on.” Webster’s incredulity is clearly toeing the line of frustration, but he doesn’t get it. “It’s just chicken pox.”

“Yeah, for her, because she’s ten.” Joe sweeps a hand towards Jane’s closed bedroom door — brightly decorated with drawings of Pokémon, sea creatures, and cartoon characters. Behind it, the poor kid’s laid up in bed, sheets thrown off because she’s too hot. Her dark curls are a tangled mess, since she couldn’t be bothered to tame them this morning; but they can’t quite hide the bright red rash steadily creeping up her neck. Joe was freaked out for a few minutes, before he recognized it. Once you’ve had chicken pox once, you never really forget those splotches, or the goddamn itch. “For her it’s just a little thing, sure. It’ll be over in a week. But in adults, it’s not so little.”

“Oh, come on —“

“Chicken pox is twenty-five times deadlier in adults.”

That shuts Webster up.

“I — you —“ He fumbles for words for a moment, the gears in his pretty little head apparently jammed up. “Have you —“

“Yeah, Web, I’ve had it before. Gave it to my whole family when I was six.” He rolls his eyes, before they catch on the plastic bag in Webster’s hand. Leaning across the room, he gets just close enough to pluck the bag from him, and immediately starts pawing around inside.

“Whatcha get, whatcha get... Tylenol, good.” He tosses it on the counter. “Children’s vitamins, weird, but okay — seriously, Web?” He holds up a shark plushie with unnervingly large, glittering eyes. 

“They were on sale,” is Webster’s only defense. “And Jane loves getting new toys when she’s sick!”

“Amazing you didn’t raise a spoiled brat.” Joe returns to the bag with a snort. Pulling out a pack of mango orange juice — the only thing Jane will drink when she’s sick, apparently — he finally lays out Webster’s haul on the counter. For a moment, he scrutinizes it, lips pursed. “You’re gonna have to go back,” he finally says. “She’ll need calamine, for the itching. You can find it in a bottle, or a little can that sprays... and who can you stay with ‘til this blows over? We could ask Lip, he’s got an extra room, or — could you call Hoob? Dukeman?”

“For god’s sake, Joe,” Webster groans, “I’m not going anywhere, just to leave you to take care of my sick kid!”

That actually bites. Joe goes still, words dying in his throat. His gaze stalls on the counter for a moment, intent, before he rounds on Webster. This is a conversation they’ve had before — many, many times before — and he didn’t think they’d need to have it again.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he demands, voice low instead of harsh. “You really think I mind it? You think when I moved in here with you guys, when I put that ring on my finger, I wasn’t signing up for this?” He pauses for a moment, drinking in the silence, before throwing his hands in the air. “Jesus, Web. Shit. If we’re still on that page —“

“Alright.” Webster, at least, looks appropriately shamefaced. In any other situation, this could easily spiral into an argument — not like they haven’t gone to war over dumber stuff — but now isn’t the time or place. He sighs, raising his hands in surrender. “I’m sorry. It just... feels wrong to leave you on your own.”

Jane’s not bad company at the best of times. Actually, Joe likes hanging out with her more than he does with her dad. At least Jane can put up a good fight in any video game — even the ones she’s technically not allowed to play — and she’s got enough stories to fill a library. Half of them, Joe suspects, she’s just making up off the top of her head, but Jane’s got an imagination like a firecracker. Her drawings are always brimming with color and life. When she brings them to her dad or Joe for inspection, she demands constructive criticism, and takes it seriously. Jane’s always busy — if she’s not drawing, she’s reading, and if she’s not reading, she’s writing, and if she’s not writing she’s caught in a very intense make-believe game in the backyard — but somehow she still finds time to spend with the adults.

It’s not like Joe doesn’t like Jane. It’s not like being around her is some burden or anything. Hell, he thinks he even loves her a bit — in a way he never imagined getting to love a kid of his own. He loves Webster, and Jane means the world to Web, so it’s simple as that.

And Web thinks he wouldn’t want to take care of Jane while she’s sick? Jesus.

“You kidding me? We’ll have a great time. Jane’s been trying to get me into Harry Potter, anyway, and you gotta show your kid Star Wars… I don’t trust you with the greats.” His topic shift is clearly a dismissal of the entire argument. Good old Web doesn’t get the hint.

“But you shouldn’t —“

“Fuck’s sake!” Joe exclaims — and if he wasn’t genuinely mad before, he is now. His tone lowers a second later, mindful of Jane in the other room, even if it’s hardly the first time she’s heard the two of them tear at each other. Instead, Joe settles for tossing the plastic bag on the ground, in blatant defiance of Web’s “pick things up” rule, and glaring at him. When Web gapes at him, incredulous, Joe just raises an eyebrow. Whatcha gonna do? Come over here and pick it up? It’s probably got chicken pox on it.

“You,” Joe says in a low voice, “are gonna let me do this for you. I’m gonna look after Janie. You are gonna go to the store and get some calamine, for shit’s sake, and then you’re gonna call up Hoobler and ask if he’s got a spare room. You can get whatever you need from our room, but I want you outta here, Web.”

Webster is silent for a moment, like he has to thoroughly chew his thoughts before saying them. His sigh, when it comes out, shakes a bit. “Joe…”

“Just let me take care of you,” he says again, and sees the exact moment Web breaks.

“What sort of lotion do we need again?”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Joe’s encountered Sick Web in the wild before. He’s a drama queen if they ever existed — clingy, listless, and depressive. If he can manipulate you into doing something for him, he will; if he needs to act sicker than he is, he’ll damn well do it. If he gets you sick, he’ll have no remorse. Flu season in their house still feels like a bad dream, one Joe prefers not to revist.

Sick Jane, in comparison, is a dream.

“It’s so nice not to be in bed,” she chirps, sounding downright cheerful as she balances a soup bowl in her lap. Joe keeps an eye on her — not just because she’ll be devastated if she spills on her octopus PJs, but because of the scratching. Jane’s a sneaky scratcher. Joe’s caught her doing it at least twenty times today, and no matter how much he hammers the point home that she won’t get better if she keeps scratching at the things, she doesn’t quite get it. There’s a patch of spots just under her chin that are really giving her trouble, but other than that, she’s holding out well.

“It’s only if you’re up for it, okay? You start feeling tired and it’s back to bed.”

Jane makes a face at him. Joe rolls his eyes and makes a face right back.

“So,” she says, having seized control of the remote. “What do you wanna watch now?”

“I dunno, the amount of movies we’ve watched this week —“

“You want to watch a cartoon? Some of the new Marvel ones are supposed to be good, I haven’t seen them.”

“Meh. We could. Ooh, how about Young Jus—“

He’s cut off by the sound of hammering — not at the door, but at the goddamn window.

Jane yelps as a splash of her soup hits the couch cushions; Joe nearly falls to the floor, scrambling for the first weapon he can find, which happens to be the remote. The curtains are half closed to the cool night, which means anyone outside could see in if they got close enough — and, as Joe approaches the windowpane, he can see a white hand pressed to the glass.

It clicks for Jane first. “Oh my gosh,” she gasps, leaping from the couch. “Daddy!”

Joe has to fight the urge to groan as Webster’s smiling face appears in the window. How many times is this, now — eight? Nine? It’s been almost a week since Web left, but he sure hasn’t let himself be forgotten. Every day, he stops by… either to see Jane and leave gifts, or to see him and leave gifts. Collectively, they’re now three books, two plushies, three video games, three DVDs, and a dozen snacks richer.

At the moment, though, Webster’s not carrying any bags. He doesn’t seem to have shown up with anything — just himself.

It’s also impossible to hear him through the window, but to Jane that doesn’t seem to matter.

“Hi, Daddy,” she says, pressing her hand to the outline of Web’s in the glass. “Are you okay? Are you staying safe? Look at my spots, these ones are starting to get scabs. Joe’s been making soup every night, I’m so tired of it — can you get me a fruit salad? I like the hammerhead you brought over—“

Heaving a soft sigh, Joe steps back, giving the two some space. Knowing Jane, she can go on for a while… and she’s missed her dad. Rather than intrude on the moment, Joe slips out the kitchen door, into the backyard. The night air is sweet, waking him up in all the places exhaustion was starting to weigh on him. He closes his eyes, tilting his head to bask in it. The temptation to light up a cigarette is strong, but he’ll never hear the end of it from Web if he found out, so Joe just sits in the steps, arms braced against his knees as he stares into the night.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, footsteps echo around the side of the house.

“Oh, scarecrow. I think I missed you most of all.”

Joe exhales, deep from his chest. “That why you’ve been coming around every day? Careful, Web. I’m gonna start thinking you’ve got a crush on me.”

“Now, more than ever,” Webster replies, and the sweetness in his voice takes Joe aback.

When Joe looks over, he finds Web standing with his hands in his pockets, silhouetted against the porch light. His expression is open, warm — and his eyes might be glittering a bit too, which, crissakes Web — vulnerable in a way that leaves Joe feeling unmasked.

These are not the sort of feelings Joe knows how to deal with. He shrugs, eager to shake them off.

“Hey, you know, you don’t come back soon and Jane and I might take over this place for ourselves. We’re thinking of putting in a movie theater… indoor swimming pool…” Web is still smiling at him, and it leaves Joe feeling a bit weak. The bravado in his voice slides away, tone gentling. “A few more days, yeah? You saw her. She’s doing great. As soon as those spots scab up, she’s all yours.”

“You’re doing a great job, Joe.” And, because Web can never resist making everything ridiculously sappy, “Thank you.”

Joe shrugs, and has to look away. “Next time you visit, bring a pizza or something, huh?”

“I do have something for you, actually. Jane, uhh — Jane told me to give it to you.”

“Yeah?” Interest piqued, Joe turns back. “What?”

Web isn’t smiling now. He actually looks a little mortified. Sterling himself, he shuffles his feet, clearing his throat. “I — okay, Jane told me, remember, she said I had to —“

“Web.”

At last, Webster cracks. He raises a hand to his lips, and — to Joe’s amazement — blows a massive kiss.

“Thank you,” is all Web says — and he doesn’t get upset, even when Joe almost falls over cackling.

Any time, Web, he thinks, gripping the porch railing for dear life. Any time.

[starryviolentine]

Color Me Blue (That’s Me Without You): A Pre-Apocalypse Story

Part 1 (here)     Part 2 (here)     Part 3 (here)     Part 4 (here) 

Part 5/10: Shell Shocked

March 21, 2001 

Dear Diary,

Ms. Martin came to check on me last night and took my temperature. The good news is my fever’s finally gone! The bad news is I still feel kind of lousy. Can you believe that my cough seems to have gotten worse instead of better? I won’t go into detail (because it’s really icky) but it sounds AWFUL!! Other than that though, I guess I’m okay.

Starting today I’m allowed to eat in the cafeteria again but I don’t have much of an appetite yet. Oh, that reminds me!!! Every day I was sick I woke up and saw that somebody left snacks for me on my desk. Mostly juice boxes, fruits, and crackers but once there was a cup of red jello! I just know it was Therissa. I thanked her yesterday but she pretended to have no idea what I was talking about. I hope Therissa doesn’t catch my cold, but if she ever does get sick one day I want to do something nice for her, too.

B.B.

It isn’t a bump in the night nor the ringing of her alarm clock that wakes Brody this morning. The girl jolts upright in her bed with a start, a nightmare bringing an abrupt end to what was a restless, fitful sleep anyway. Ever since she got back to school the other day, Brody’s had a serious case of the blues. There’s been something troubling on her mind that she just hasn’t been able to shake off, no matter how hard she’s tried. 

It’s her roommate, Therissa. 

Sometimes, when Brody fixates on something so intensely, to the extent that it’s the only thing she thinks about all day, it slithers into her dreams and continues to plague her while she’s asleep. And that’s exactly what’s happening now. To be honest, Brody is actually sort of glad that she woke up when she did. Dream Brody had come back to her room after a long day of classes only to discover all of her belongings dumped in a huge pile in the middle of the hallway. Her bedroom door was locked, which, in itself, wasn’t out of the ordinary, but when her dream self tried to unlock it, she found that her key no longer fit. And then Therissa... Dream Therissa appeared, who told her that she had better find somewhere else to live because she was no longer welcome there.

It was a horrible dream, to say the least.

Brody can’t put her finger on it, but something feels off. For one thing, their reunion was not at all like she imagined. It was late in the evening on that day Brody returned to Ericson’s, and she and Violet had been in the bathroom getting ready for bed when she realized that she forgot to bring her toothbrush along. Letting Violet know that she would be right back, Brody zipped back down the hall to their bedroom to grab it… and that’s when it happened. 

It being the conversation that still haunts her days later. 

With hair still wet from the shower and baby blue bath towel draped over her shoulders like a scarf, Brody opens the door to her bedroom. Therissa hasn’t been in all evening, so the girl isn’t expecting her to be there now, especially because their bedroom was empty when she and Violet left not even twenty minutes ago. But there she is. Therissa sits comfortably, cell phone in hand and feet propped up against the edge of her desk, looking as though she could’ve been there all along.

“Oh!” It catches Brody by surprise and, for some strange reason, she almost feels a little nervous. “Therissa. Hi.”

The teenager barely looks up before turning her eyes back to her phone. “Oh, hey. You’re back.” 

“How was your weekend?” Brody asks, fidgety fingers playing with the doorknob.

“Meh,” Therissa replies flatly, preoccupied with clacking away at the tiny keypad in her hands, “uneventful.”

Brody waits for the conversation to progress, but the question never comes back to her. Suddenly remembering that she has something special from her trip for Therissa, she drops to her knees next to her duffel bag and digs through its contents until she finds what she’s looking for. Brody approaches the teen from the side, holding something tightly in her fist. “So, I went to the beach with my-”

“I know,” interrupts Therissa, cutting her roommate off mid-sentence. “You talked about it for, like, a week.”

Brody’s lips form into a slight pout at the older girl’s icy tone. Therissa doesn’t seem to be in a very good mood. Maybe this isn’t the best time to give her this souvenir. Or... actually, maybe it’s the perfect time. Gifts make people happy, right? In all her life, she’s never met anyone whose day doesn’t get a little brighter after receiving a present. Taking a deep breath, Brody opens her palm. “I got you this.”

Finally breaking her eyes away from her phone, Therissa looks. In Brody’s hand is a small, creamy white sea shell mixed with streaks of sunset orange. The shell is shaped like a horn with a pretty spiral at the wide end, its surface smooth, shiny and unblemished. Therissa’s expression softens and Brody is relieved, taking this as a sign that everything might be fine between them after all. Thank goodness. She was getting worried there for a second.

“Wow, the empty husk of a dead sea creature.”

Brody wilts. Sarcastic joke or not, the comment still kind of hurts. “I thought it was really pretty. I figured maybe you could put it on your bookshelf or something.”

“Thanks.”

When Therissa reaches over to take the offering, Brody notices right away that her roommate’s fingernails are now a different color than when she saw them last… and then she remembers. There’s just one little thing that she wants from her roommate… something that would make her the happiest girl in the world and would make every doubt she’s had about their newfound friendship disappear just like that. Something that would reassure her that Therissa does, in fact, enjoy spending time with her and likes her just as much as she likes Violet.   

Brody doesn’t want to outright say that she wants Therissa to do her nails. In order for it to count, she needs the invitation to come from the teen herself. That doesn’t mean she can’t try to prompt the idea with little hints, though. Keeping her fingers on both hands crossed for good luck, Brody tries one last time to get Therissa to talk to her. “Vi told me you got to hang out together this weekend. What did ya’ll do?”

With a slight huff, Therissa slides her phone shut. “Brody, seriously. We didn’t do anything special.”

The younger girl clams up, picking up on the annoyance in her roommate’s voice. Why is Therissa being like this? Did she do something to make her mad? Brody replays their conversation in her head a couple times, but she’s unable to pinpoint where things might have gone wrong. Things shouldn’t have gone wrong. 

Noticing Brody’s silence, Therissa lets out a long sigh. “Look, if you actually want to hear about our boring weekend, I’m sure V will tell you all about it. Why don’t you ask her?”

V?

V as in Violet?

Their conversation comes to an end after that, and Therissa doesn’t talk to her for the rest of the night. Brody really believed that talking to Therissa again would make everything better, but, instead, it’s left her feeling more worried than ever. Could it be possible that she somehow just imagined that she and Therissa were friends? After what just happened, it’s certainly not impossible. 

Maybe Therissa just never liked her in the first place.

November 8, 2002

Dear Diary,

I don’t have much time because I need to get back to the auditorium, but I’m happy to report that my speech was a success!! I really owe it to Therissa for helping me practice. I never thought that I’d be able to speak in front of that many people without crying or running away or passing out or something. I mean, remember last year when I froze up during that group presentation on Sacagawea? My voice got so shaky that I couldn’t even talk and Meghan had to read my part for me.

I started feeling a little queasy backstage because of how nervous I was. Then when it was my turn, I almost couldn’t get my legs to take me to the podium. The lights up there were so bright and the entire room was full of people staring at me. It was SO scary!!! But then I remembered what Therissa told me about looking out at that line where the back wall touches the floor instead of the audience, and then...

There she was, standing right by the doors! Yes, Therissa came to watch my speech instead of going to class! She gave me a thumbs up and after that I knew I could do it. I just kept looking at her the whole time, like when we practiced in our room, and it didn’t even feel like there was anybody else there. Amazing, right? It was all over so quickly. 

I promise I’ll write more later!

B.B.

What Brody likes the most about her diary -- other than the actual act of writing inside it, of course -- is the fact that it gives her the power to travel back in time and relive the most memorable moments of her life. If she’s feeling sad, looking back at old entries from her happiest days always lifts her spirits. If she’s feeling lonely, getting to read about the amazing times that she’s spent with her family and friends always puts a smile on her face. Even when her memories start to fade, when the finer details start to get fuzzy as the days, weeks and years go by, they still live on within these pages, as clear as the day they happened.

The bedroom glows a dim blue, telling Brody that it’s that part of the morning just before dawn, when the sky is just barely starting to light up. She flips through page after page in her diary, straining her eyes to make out what’s written on them in the dark, desperately searching for a memory, any memory about Therissa that will comfort her. Brody has come across a few already that should have been able to put her heart at ease, reminding her that the teenager does care about her, but it still doesn’t feel like enough. What began as a knot in her belly has progressed into an uncomfortable tightness in her chest, and now it’s infecting her lungs and traveling up into her throat, which now feels like it’s closing up.

The little blue book falls into her lap, instantly forgotten, as all that Brody can think about now is the sound of her own heartbeat in her ears, the sensation of her chest cavity caving in on itself, and the fogginess in her head. All signs of an oncoming panic attack. Before things have time to escalate, Brody squeezes her eyes shut, takes a slow, deep breath and starts to count. 

And as Brody counts, she breathes, matching each of her breaths to a number like a metronome keeping time. She focuses on how the hard, wooden headboard feels against her back. She listens to the faint ticking of the alarm clock on the desk beside her. The sound of her own voice inside her head. You’re okay. You’re okay. You’re okay.  

After a couple of minutes, Brody finds herself in the clear. Although the feeling of panic has passed, the worry remains, hanging heavy on her heart. Whenever Brody comes out of an anxiety attack or, in this case, an almost attack, she likes to turn to her loved ones to help take her mind off things. The same goes for when she has nightmares. Up until now, Brody’s go-to source of solace for both has always been Therissa, even back when she first got to the school. Violet makes her feel better, too, of course. Brody loves her best friend and trusts her with all of her secrets, but there’s just something about seeking comfort from somebody older that never fails to make Brody feel extra safe. 

For the first time ever, Brody feels like she can’t go to Therissa, and it’s the worst feeling in the world. So, instead of climbing up the ladder to her roommate’s bunk and crawling into bed with her like she usually would, Brody forces herself to stay right where she is. She can still hear Dream Therissa’s voice echoing in her head.

“I always hated having you as my roommate.”

Closing her diary, Brody lies back down and hugs the book to her chest. Blinking back tears, she curls onto her side facing the wall. There’s no way she’s going to class today. She can’t. Not when she feels like this. She doesn’t think she has it in her to face Therissa right now, even if it’s just seeing her in the same room while they get ready for school. Brody buries her head underneath her pillow and wills herself to go back to sleep. If she’s lucky, maybe she’ll feel better when she wakes up… though something in the back of her mind tells her not to count on it. 

[nightwingshero]

Lonely Eyes Part 2

So...That little thing I was working on has another part to it....AAAND I’ve been sitting on it for awhile, because I love/hate it. I really don’t think I captured Hudson well, at all. I tried to make it funny and I was hyped up on too much Monster. So, there’s that. I just really think Wren and Rowan are chaotic dumbasses together sometimes, and it really shows here. Anyway! Here’s the thing with the stuff. @chazz-anova you seriously helped in convincing me to do this lol

“You set her up with who?!” Hudson asked, completely flabbergasted. She groaned as she shook her head, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Of all fucking people, Rowan.”

I chuckled under my breath as I took a bite of the yogurt I was working on. Rowan had stopped by to eat a late breakfast with me and Hudson. Of course, she immediately demanded I tell her what happened. I shrugged, giving her just the bare minimum. I was still embarrassed for how everything had turned out, and I had gone home with the smell of sandalwood in my hair. I did not need them knowing about John Seed, especially since Hudson seemed to work closely with him a lot of the time.

“Eli fishes with him sometimes. I don’t know him well, but I thought it would be worth a shot! He’s friends with Pratt—”

“That should have been your first flag, Ro.” Hudson snorted before popping a piece of her bagel in her mouth. I laughed fully as I leaned back against my chair. “I mean, you’re with Jacob Seed all the time. You couldn’t have set her up with—”

“I am not with Jacob all the time!” Rowan gasped out, becoming defensive. “We just hunt sometimes.”

Hudson raised her brow as she stared at Rowan. “You hunt all the time, liar. Just do it, man. Seriously. It’s so obvious you two are into each other.”

“It’s true, dear!” Nancy chimed in from the next room and we laughed as Rowan’s face burned red. One of the disadvantages of having such a small office. Everyone heard everything if you weren’t careful. “Bye, girls! You have a good one!”

We turned to see two women walk out, one blonde and the other a darker, almost a dirty blonde. They both smiled at Nancy as they made their way to the exit. The oldest had honey brown eyes, her long hair pinned back and framing her face. She had a yellow sundress that reminded me of a warm summer day. The youngest had flowers printed on her white dress. They exchanged looks, both smiling with a secret hiding behind their bright eyes. They waved at us as the made their way outside.

“Who are they?” I asked.

“Oh, that’s Whitney and Faith Seed. They stop by here and there for Whitehorse, you know, to help with organizing community benefit stuff with their church. They’re probably here about the county fair. Faith is the baby sister and Whitney is married to one of the brothers.”

“Which one?” I blurted out without thinking. Rowan and Joey eyed me, and I tried to recover. “I mean, how many brothers are there? There’s two, right?”

“Three.” Hudson corrected with a laugh. “Whitney is married to the middle brother, Joseph, and they have a couple of kids together. He’s a pastor at the church further North.”

“Oh.” I replied.

“So, what did you say? When the guy came back from the bathroom?” Rowan asked, folding her hands together as they supported her chin. I just sighed and smirked, twirling my spoon in the cup of yogurt.

“Told him off for being rude and disrespectful, you know? Then said that girls love to go mudding.”

“Hell yeah we do.” Hudson chimed in, taking a sip from her coffee.

“I may or may not have told him that girls didn’t like guys with small dicks who use their dad’s money to buy trucks they can’t drive.”

“Deputy Blake!” Nancy cried as we lost it.

“Sorry Nancy!” I called back as we began crying from laughing so hard.

“You—you should have seen his face!” I gasped out. “Oh my god!”

“What did he say?!” Rowan gasped through her fits of laughter.

“He called me a bitch and a fucking tease, then left saying he couldn’t handle my crazy shit.” I replied with a shrug, calming down a bit.

“Wow. What an ass. I’m gonna get him the next time I pull him over for drinking and driving. John won’t protect his ass this time.” Hudson scoffed with a smug smile on her face, a mischievous glint in her dark eyes.

I frowned as I gave Hudson a look. “What do you mean?”

“Meh, Trey’s dad would hire John to defend his son every time he got in trouble. He used to have some sway here in Hope County. Used to be mayor before Virgil. Anyway, John got tired of it, defending this guy over and over for him to just end up repeating the same shit. So, he told him the next time his son gets caught, find another attorney, and pray it’s a good one.”

“John said that?” I breathed out as Rowan eyed me.

“Fuck yeah he did. Well, he would have to pull someone from Missoula and even then, with John’s reputation? There’s no fucking way. Big time Atlanta lawyer? There was no way he wasn’t making waves showing up here. Whitehorse was thankful, you know? For once he had someone that wasn’t afraid to cross that damn family. He knows his shit, man.” She threw me a smirk at me. “Oh, does he know his shit. You wanna get set up with someone? John Seed, sweetie. Ride that train.”

“I thought you said you hated him.” I wanted to ignore her comment, but I couldn’t ignore the fluttering in my stomach as I looked back down at my cup of yogurt.

“No, I said I can’t stand him half the time. And that’s when he’s defending someone I’m trying to put away.” A door open and closed, and we could hear Nancy’s low voice talking from the next room over, deeper voices answering her in return. “Don’t get me wrong, he can be a bit arrogant and cocky —”

“He can be sweet, too.” Rowan interjected in his defense as she threw Hudson a look. But Hudson just kept going.

“—But the guy can back it. Fucker knows he’s good looking, too. Knows he has a certain affect on people, good or bad. I swear he can read people like the back of his hand.” Hudson sighed as she tore another piece of her bagel. “Either way, don’t listen to Rowan the next time she thinks you’ll hit it off with someone. Come to me before she sets you up. I’ll save you, Rook.” She smiled as she popped the piece in her mouth.

Rowan threw her hands up and rolled her eyes. I just shook my head and took another bite of my yogurt. I decided right then that it was a good call on my part to keep the details about what happened with him under wraps. I could only imagine the lash back for that. We heard deep laughter then, pulling our attention to the next room. Whitehorse and Pratt were standing near the front, laughing and talking with none other than John Seed. He laughed at something Whitehorse said as the Sheriff shook his head. Briefly, just briefly, his blue eyes met mine. In that second, my heart seized as panic filled my veins. I didn’t know just a glance could hold so much weight, it was practically unbearable as I recalled the utter humiliation that resulted from our last run in. I look away immediately, all the liquid courage I had last night was no longer there to help me out of my shell. I fought the urge to run and hide, but I was at work for fuck’s sake, I needed to get over it. The embarrassment would go away…eventually. Then I would be able to show my face around him without a threat of a blush or the memory of his breath fanning across my skin. I gave an involuntary shiver at the thought.

“Deputy Hudson, Deputy Blake—" I jump clean out of my skin before Hudson and I both turn to see Whitehorse approaching us, just in time for him to catch sight of Rowan. My eyes widened a bit as his face twisted in confusion. “Palmer? What the hell--? What are you doin’ here?” Rowan and I shared a quick look, trying to figure out the excuse we were gonna use this time. We both turned, word vomiting in front of everyone at the same time.

“We’re long lost fraternal twins—”

“Ride along.”

Whitehorse’s brows furrowed as I took in what Rowan had said. I place my fist against my mouth as I shot her a look. You’ve got to be kidding me. Rowan’s mouth is a straight line, her eyes wide as realization dawned on her. Snapping her fingers and then pointing at me, she gives Whitehorse a smile.

“Ride along.” I shook my head slowly in disbelief as I stared at her, my fingertips pressing into my temple for support. I couldn’t meet anyone’s eyes at this point. How the hell was this person becoming my best friend? “Just like Wren said. I’m, uhm…riding along for the day.”

Whitehorse crossed his arms as Pratt snickered next to John as they stood behind Earl. “Rowan Palmer, I’ve known you almost all your life. Not once have you shown an interest in law enforcement. Even after you came back from the military.”

“People change, Sheriff.” Rowan insisted. He cocked a brow at her, and Hudson chuckled before chiming in.

“Wren and I were just taking Rowan’s statement. There was a bad run in with a park ranger last night, and it was Rowan’s fault.”

“That’s the third time you’ve changed your story in the past five minutes.” His honey voice rang out, a light amusement in his tone. I didn’t dare look at him, but I knew his blue eyes would be full of amusement with a smirk on his lips. “Even I wouldn’t want to defend you if you were on trial, Hudson.”

She glared at him, immediately taking the bait. “Nobody asked you, Seed. Besides, Rowan would be the one on trial. You know, for setting her up with Trey fucking Kohrs—”

“Hey!” Pratt cried out as Whitehorse let out a sigh. “That’s my best friend you’re talking about!”

“Well, fuck—” Hudson caught the way I crinkled my nose and she held her hand up. “I stand corrected. Non-fuck your best friend. It’s Rowan’s fault for setting them up, and he should be put on trial for how he treated my partner. Do your fucking job, Mr. Hotshot Attorney. He’s a fucking cu—”

“Deputy Hudson!” Nancy shrieked in horror from the next room. I turned slowly and stared at Hudson, completely mortified. I realized quickly that I was wrong, oh so wrong. I told them about how the person next to me had heard everything and made a snide comment at the end, but that was it. Maybe if I had told them from the beginning, this wouldn’t be happening. I tried to avoid trouble, tried to avoid it turning into something else or maybe escaped some teasing I knew Hudson would’ve thrown my way. But I underestimated how much damage these two could do when kept in the dark. Hudson smirked at me as I glared at her. Rowan whipped her had around so fast, I wasn’t sure how she didn’t snap her damn neck.

“Shut up, Joey!” She hissed. “That was so not my fault! Trey—"

“Alright.” Whitehorse cut in, raising his hands in a calming fashion before giving Rowan a look. “You know what I’m gonna say—”

“We’re in a polyamorous relationship, so I’m visiting my wife and mistress at work. It’s important for our communication and love life, Sheriff. Happy wife, happy life.” Hudson and I both look at Rowan as Pratt loses it, bent over and clutching his stomach as he leans against a desk for support. Whitehorse’s face goes red, and in the corner of my eye, I can see Nancy peeking around the corner. I didn’t dare look up to meet the blue eyes I felt burning a hole in my face. I wanted nothing more than for a black hole to appear and swallow me whole.

“Are you serious?” I asked, finally breaking my silence as my hands come up in absolute horror at the turn of events. “You couldn’t stick with ride along? You had to go that far—"

“What the fuck?” Hudson asked as she stares Rowan down.

“Number four.” Pratt muttered as he elbowed John.

“Shut up, I panicked!” Rowan replied, getting defensive. She looked at Whitehorse while pointing at me. “That’s my wife and you can’t destroy our love.”

“But I’m not gay—"

“Why is she the wife?” Hudson’s voice rising in pitch as she glared at Rowan incredulously. “I’ve known you way longer.” Rowan threw Hudson a smirk, her eyes full of wrath.

“That’s the point.”

My eyes widened as Hudson slumped back with a scoff. “Fine. Neither of you are my type, anyway.”

“Wren is wifey material, Joey. Total babe.” Rowan shrugged then, making a show of examining her nails. “Besides, she’s a silver-tongued devil, you know? Comes in handy.”

“No. Please just stop.” I beg as I rest my face in my hands in pure embarrassment from the sexual innuendo. This was my best friend. This person in front of me. “For the love of God, please stop.” I could hear Nancy choking on her coffee in the next room, the Sheriff shuffling uncomfortably. Pratt just laughed harder. Rowan wasn’t usually one to pull something like this, from what I had known of her, but she always became flustered when nervous or caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to.

“You’re married to your long-lost fraternal twin, and you’re here for a ride along with her and the mistress in your relationship?” Pratt wheezed out. All I wanted in this moment was for it to end. This was too much.

Rowan hesitated for a second. “Yes…?”

I sighed out as I looked back at the Sheriff and he just shook his head. “Palmer, I need you to leave. And hun, you gotta stop sneaking into my station.”

Rowan groaned and agreed as Sheriff finished giving Hudson and I orders. We hummed in agreement before him and Pratt walked off, and it was then that I noticed that John had already gone. My shoulders slumped a bit, but I was mainly relieved. How the hell was I always embarrassing myself around that guy? I grabbed Rowan’s arm, pulling her to the side with Hudson. I gave a quick look around to make sure we were in private for the most part as they gave me weird looks.

“You know how I told you just a bit about the guy that was sitting next to Trey and I last night?” They both nodded and I took a deep breath. “Yeah, well, I may have left out the fact that the man was John Seed. And that maybe, maybe, there’s bit more to the story than I had originally led on.”

It takes just a second for it to hit them before they’re eyes are widening. “Oh shit…so, my little comment about the park ranger—”

“Yeah,” I said, cutting Hudson off with sarcasm dripping heavily off my tongue. “Thanks for all that, by the way. None of that was embarrassing at all.”

“Hey, I didn’t know!”

“Wait.” Rowan chimed in as she put her hand up. “So, what happened then? What didn’t you tell us?”

I sighed, biting my lip before I go more into detail as I recalled everything that had happened last night, not leaving anything out. They hang onto every word as I relive the worst date of my life. It was awkward, and my face burned bright red the whole time. And then I came to the end, taking note of every move he had made, reciting him word for word. When I finished, Hudson was smirking at me and Rowan just gapped at me.

“And then what?” Rowan breathed out.

“Nothing. I checked outside for him and he was just…gone.” I shrugged as she sighed in disappointment.

“So, he bought all your drinks? Without you even knowing? God, that’s such a John move.” Hudson scoffed and shook her head before looking back at me, crossing her arms. “Makes all those comments I made about him doing his job so much sweeter, though. Totally worth it. So then, when are you going out?”

“Uhm…what?”

She furrowed her brow and cocked her head to the side. “When you are you guys going out? Like, you stopped him when he was here, right? To ask him out? You know, follow up about showing you around and being a legit gentle—did you seriously not talk to him?”

“No!” I rushed out as I motioned to the next room. “I had no fucking clue he was even here!”

“No idea—Wren, he’s always fucking here since you started.”

I froze and stared at her. “I mean, he’s supposed to be, right?”

“Are you kidd—okay.” She put her hand up, stopping me as she pinched the bridge of her nose with her other hand. “I’m surrounded by idiots. Seriously, the both of you. I don’t know how you two survive being this blind. I’m setting this straight right now, or else I’m going to scream.” She sighed as she looked at Rowan. “Jacob is into you. You’re doing things with him and his daughter all the fucking time. He literally only hunts with you or his brothers. He’s only ever hunted with Eli a few once or twice. Ask him out, I’m tired of you not getting plowed by that fucking lumberjack soldier guy.” She turned to me and I gulped. “And you, partner of mine, need to get your head out of your ass. We’re in the 21st century. Know what that means? We have cell phones and email. You think John needs to be here all the fucking time? Does he look like someone who really belongs in this damn station day after day? No, he doesn’t. In fact, before your pretty ass showed up, he was hardly ever here. Now he’s always here, and Whitehorse isn’t complaining. He likes doing things face to face, he’s very old fashioned that way. Pratt doesn’t notice shit like that, but Nancy and me? Oh, we noticed.” She scoffed, looking at her boots with a shake of her head before she gave me a curious look. “He was in Alaska with Jacob for a hunting trip when you showed up, did you know that?”

“I remember that.” Rowan muttered. “Lucky bastards.”

Hudson ignored her as she continued, placing her hands on her hips. “He comes back, sees you, asks Nancy, Pratt, and I about you. Because he was gone a fucking week and all of a sudden, we have a shiny new deputy. A deputy with long dark hair and pretty eyes, who, for some stupid reason, can’t seem to stop fucking smiling at everyone. So, dumbass, when we’re done with our shift, you’re gonna go home. You’re gonna put on jeans, boots, and a flannel with a tank top. Maybe a t-shirt. You’re not going to dress up for this. Now, don’t get me wrong, you probably looked great last night. But he called you on your shit, so going back like that again is gonna be the wrong thing to do. You’re going to be 100% you. So, you’re gonna braid that fucking hair of yours, skip the makeup—you don’t fucking need it, and walk your ass into that fucking bar. You’re gonna sit next to him and buy that guy a fucking drink.”

We stared at Hudson in shock, not sure how to respond to her. Nancy walks past us to grab something from the copier. “Blue, darling.”

“What?” I asked, turning to her. She looked up at me, her red lips turning into a smile.

“Wear blue. Trust me.”

 Hudson groaned again as we made another pass on the main street. The fair was in full swing this late afternoon, the sun high with no clouds in sight. It was hot with our uniforms and I thought for sure Hudson was going to drop dead beside me. We were just here to cover our bases. Apparently, that was what the two Seed women were doing this morning at the station. Making sure they had some security for the people of Hope County. Despite the heat, it was a good day. Cotton candy, popcorn, and fresh straw hung heavily in the air. Kids ran by giggling and screaming in excitement to the next ride, their faces painted. I smiled as I took it all in, it had been so long since I had gone to one of these. It was a nice change in pace.

“Won’t be too much longer before Pratt shows and we take a drive around the county to make sure everything is all good.” Hudson said as she watched the Ferris wheel, her hand shielding her eyes as she looked up. I had to fight the laughter that threatened to escape. She immediately threw a cussing fit when she realized her aviators were still at the station. She threw me glares here and there as she studied mine. I had offered to buy her a kids’ pair, all pink and covered in flowers. That only led to her flipping me off in return.

“Think he can handle it?” I asked with a scoff. She laughed and shook her head.

“Poor guy—”

“Excuse me, Miss Police Officer Lady?” a small voice called. I turned to see a little girl staring up at me with wide eyes, tears threatening to fall any second. “I can’t find my daddy.”

I knelt down, pushing my glasses up as I smiled. “That’s okay, I can help you. What’s your name?”

“Luna.”

“Hi there, Luna. My name is Deputy Blake, but you can just call me Wren.” I held my hand out to her. I watched as she clutched her plane toy close with one hand as she reached out and shook mine.

“Like the birdie, right?” Her bright blue eyes were glistening, with her red hair pulled back in a French braid. “My daddy knows a lot about animals.”

“Just like the bird. I can’t fly though.” She laughed at my lame joke and I smiled brighter. “You know,” I pulled at my necklace, bringing the plane pendent out of hiding. “Even though I can’t fly, I like planes. I really like your toy. I have a necklace just like that.”

“Oh, cool!” She smiled, stepping closer to look at it. “It’s pretty.”

“How about we do this? We’re gonna look for your dad. I’m gonna put you on my shoulders and let you wear my glasses, so it’ll be like you’re flying. How does that sound?” She nodded enthusiastically and I stood. I handed her my glasses before I picked her up and placed her on my shoulders. “See? Safe and sound, and you can see almost the whole world.”

“I’m so tall!” She giggled. I turned to Hudson as we began to search the crowd.

“That’s Luna Seed.” Hudson muttered to me and I gave her a look. “Jacob’s little girl. We just gotta find one of the brothers, or Whitney. They should be around here somewhere.”

Hudson stopped to ask people if they had seen the family, and while she did so, I made airplane noises to keep the poor girl distracted. Anything to keep her from feeling as scared as she was when she approached us. It only took us about 15 minutes to spot the frantic family. My eyes first caught onto the two familiar figures. I laughed as Hudson shook her head.

“Hey wifey! You lose something?” I called and Rowan whipped around. Spotting me, her face broke out into a huge smile and I could see her visibly relax. A blonde from this morning waved behind her and Hudson threw her a thumbs up.

“My best friend and better half, I love you.” Rowan laughed as I approached her. Luna greeted her with a wave as the blonde, Whitney, reached for her. “Seriously, thank you.”

“Of course. Never a problem.”

“I’m glad I caught you. Come say hi.” Rowan motioned for us to follow her. Sharing a glance, we followed. We were trailing behind, laughing here and there. I froze immediately once I saw where she was taking us. Nancy was chatting away with a group of people by a few pickup trucks, and by the looks of it, they were grilling out. I swallowed as I took in a tall man, his long hair in a bun with yellow aviators covering his eyes. He was playing with a pair of twins, one boy and one girl. Whitney approached a tall, broad shouldered man with the same hair as Luna. Jacob. Whitney handed Luna to Jacob, a stern look on his face before holding her close.

Luna giggled as she turned pointing to us. Jacob and Nancy both turned, and I couldn’t help but return the smile. Nancy waved us forward, wrapping me in a hug once I got close.

“It’s good to see my favorite deputies out and about.” She said as she rubbed my arm, turning to the strangers. One by one, she introduced me to John’s family. Joseph was pleasant and polite, his wife a total sweetheart. Jacob shook my hand, thanking me before he gave Rowan a soft smile. I looked down with a smile on my face at the interaction.

We laughed and talked as I slowly got to know the rest of the Seed family. Whitney, who turned out to be Nancy’s niece, was an art teacher and helped out at Joseph’s church whenever she was able. Joseph talked a little bit about his work, even inviting me to come watch on Sunday. Jacob was a man of few words, but I could tell he felt strongly for his family. I also took note of how he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off Rowan when she wasn’t looking. Luna beamed at me, asking me to fly her around again, just like her Uncle John would. I almost died as Hudson burst out laughing. Jacob just chuckled and pulled her away, distracting her with a kite he had for her instead.

“We should get going, our shift is almost over.” Hudson said after a while, and I gave her a quick nod.

“Yeah, that sounds good. It was a pleasure meeting all of you.” We all said our goodbyes, exchanging pleasantries before Hudson and I were off to finish what we had came here to do.

 I found myself sitting in my jeep, glaring at the Spread Eagle. After work, Hudson had pointed at me, reminding me what she had said. I had gone home then, took a shower, and did exactly what she had told me. I even found a blue flannel, which wasn’t too hard. It was my favorite color, in all honesty. I wondered if that was why Nancy had suggested it.

I was desperately trying to work up the courage for this. I wasn’t sure what would happen, being bold wasn’t something I was normally good at doing. I opened the door, my boots hitting the gravel. It was like déjà vu, and I prayed that maybe tonight would end differently. I crossed the road with my hands in my back pockets. Before I set a foot on the porch, I turned back around with a curse under my breath. What was I going to say? Hi, remember me? Yeah, so you were totally right and I’m sorry?

I scoffed to myself. Did he really want me to call him? Did he mean that or was that a way to make a point? Maybe he wanted some sort of sick gratification for being right. Guys like him weren’t usually interested in girls like me. He was rich, if the watch on his wrist or the shiny black mustang in the parking lot, with JSEED on the license plate, said anything. He was so out of my league. And yet…I looked over my shoulder, eyeing the entrance. He had sounded so genuine, and he had been right. I knew that, I wasn’t a total idiot. He had even bought my drinks without asking for anything in return. I exhaled heavily in frustration. This whole situation was so new to me, I wasn’t used to someone being so straightforward with me without ulterior motives. The doubt was eating me up on the inside, he hadn’t said a word to me this morning. It was like it never even happened.

I sighed as I turned on my heel, making my way to the entrance. I opened the door and was immediately greeted with the rumble of a loud crowd. The fair had the people super excited, so it was more crowded than usual. It made it almost impossible for me to scan the bar for him. Getting bumped into here and there, I tried to squeeze through. I stopped, spotting him in the same seat he had sat in the night before, the one next to him just as empty. I breathed out at the irony, a light chuckle escaping from the back of my throat. He wore a white button up with a black waistcoat. Black slacks fit him tightly, showing off the muscles in his legs. I immediately felt my face flush. Maybe I should have worn something else. I felt too dressed down to even sit next to him, assuming the seat was even available. What if he was saving it for someone else? I bit my lip and approached the seat cautiously.

I caught Mary May’s eye and she glanced between him and I before smiling at me, sending me a wink. I returned the smile, her encouragement boosting my confidence just a bit. I hopped up on the seat and leaned forward on my arms. Mary May approached with a smile.

“Well, look at you. Blue is definitely your color. That dress was super cute and all. Gotta admit though, I’m sucker for a woman in flannel.” She teased and I laughed at her.

“I’ll be sure to tell Joey.” I replied with a wink. She blushed, looked at me in shock for just a second before recovering.

“You do that.” She smirked, her eyes shining a bit more brightly. “Wine?”

“Bourbon, actually.”

Her brows raised. “Oooh, nice choice. I knew I liked you.”

She quickly turned away and I pulled out my phone to check my notifications. Just a text from Rowan asking me if I was at the bar, a meme from Hudson, and a couple of junk emails. The glass was set in front of me, and I gave her a genuine, beaming smile with a thank you. I was…lighter. I was here on my terms, no ties that kept me here. No expectations, no obligations. Just me and whatever I wanted to do. It was so…freeing.

I take a sip, and revel in the strong taste. I hummed lightly to myself as it burned all the way down. My body was already buzzing from the adrenaline, my heart pounding loudly to the beat of the music. I was ready to combust, and I willed the alcohol to calm me, but I didn’t see it happening anytime soon. I ran my fingers through my long bangs, gathering them and any loose strands of hair that had escaped the braid, and tucked them behind my ear. I took a deep breath, and I dared a glance to my left.

He was rubbing his finger lightly over the lip of his glass, leaning back like he had been the night before. But the second my eyes landed on him, his eyes shot up to mine, meeting my gaze head on. My breath got caught in my throat at the intensity, and he just continued to play with his glass without a word. I tried to swallow but was having a difficult time with just that simple task. I turned back to take another sip, immediately regretting stepping foot in this place. I should have stayed home in my pajamas to watch Netflix or read. This was so stupid. I couldn’t bring myself to even say hi.

The question hung in the air between us. I knew he wanted to know; he had asked me to inquire as a favor to him. He wanted follow through. My pride wasn’t letting me though. What would that really prove? That is was a waste of my time? Maybe that was all he was in for. Just a little game, another boost to his large ego, the one Hudson claimed he had. I suppose it would give him something he could muse over and laugh at later. I took a deep breath, settling my nerves as I began to trace the vine tattoo snaking its way down the side my wrist, from the top and all the way down to my thumb. The leaves branched out a bit, covering some of the back of my hand. One on each wrist, one with a bloomed flower, the other with just the buds. They seemed interesting suddenly, as I fixed my attention to the ink on my skin.

That’s not what you really want. His words, so confident and sure. Luring, even, and something told he hadn’t even been trying. The longer I sat there, the more I could smell his cologne as I slowly circled the small flower buds on my right hand with my middle finger. I licked my lips again, trying to scramble to find something, anything to say. All I could do was replay his words. He probably thought I was crazy. I glanced at him again, and to my mortification, found him still staring. The serious look in his eyes was gone, replaced with a light amusement and it dawns on me that he’s actually waiting for me to speak, to make the first move to show that I want to engage him. That this was on my terms. A fluttering in my stomach makes me squeeze my glass a bit. I rolled my shoulders lightly, forcing myself to relax, and suddenly I was word vomiting before I could even think.

“Oklahoma.” I sighed as spun my glass slowly, my other hand pulling away. “I’m from Oklahoma.” Daring to meet his eyes once more, I see his smile spread across his face.  

[dalamjisung]

someone to lose ✤ lee felix

word count: 2583

genre: angst, with a pinch of fluff

pairing: reader x lee felix

description: he couldn’t have you, but what if you just wanted to be lost?

You were there when he first moved in.

You hear the truck first, loudly shaking, parking, unloading. The memory starts with that, and with you, on your pretty yellow bike, dirty from the busy, fun day with your friends. Knees scrapped, smudge of mud in your cheek, and a curious glance was all it took– you had his attention first thing. His feet touched the ground, and his eyes found you. And you remember– because you are sure that you can’t ever forget– the disgusted look he threw your way. And you also remember– and this because your mom won’t let your forget– how you came home crying because you thought you were ugly. You were nine and that was kind of a big deal. Your mom hated Felix since then. 

You were there when he enrolled in your school.

It was just a couple of days later and you see him again, in a similar uniform to yours. His freckles pollute his face and you want to get lost as you count them, and you want to have to start again and get lost again. He was two grades above yours and barely spared you a glance as he paraded around with his brand new friends– another international kid and a kid that was a grade above yours and one bellow his. You learned their names that same day; Bang Chan and Kim Seungmin. They ate together at lunch and you stared at them with a dreamy look in your face, until you tripped and fell face first on the floor. Once again you came back home crying and hurt and humiliated. And one again your mother swore to protect you from the new kid in the block. 

It was a few years later, but you were there when he got his first girlfriend. 

And when he broke up with her. The whole school found out the very next day, interrogating him with questions that he clearly didn’t even know the answers yet; he was just 15, after all. It happened during lunch time– when it was decided that he broke up with her, and not the other way around; you, once again, were on your way to the football field, where you usually ate your lunch while doing the homework for the next class, and you saw him. Walking. Running. Marching… to you. He is fuming and you can feel the anger, but Felix just looks at you, then at your homework, and rolls his eyes. 

“Let me help.”

You didn’t say a thing, but you listened to every word as he explained the mathematical formulas. You aced your pop quiz the next day. But is appeared that he didn’t care. 

You were there as he grew– more.

And when he found a stray cat and took it home.

And when his mom got angry cause the cat ruined her sofa.

And when his dad returned home from a work trip in Australia. 

And when his dad went back to Australia and never came back.

And when he got beat up in the end of his Junior year in high school. 

And when he beat someone up in the beginning of his Senior year.

And basically every other moment because it is very hard to mind your own business when his window is just right across from yours. Or when he goes to your school. Or when this nagging feeling of him bothers you basically every second of the day. 

During the years that passed you had more interactions with him. Still not enough to apparently satiate your undying crush on him, but enough to actually make you crave more. They were all the same, though; something bad would happen, and you’d be the first one he’d run to because what could actually be worse than this, right now? You are sure he didn’t quite realize how hurtful that was to hear, but he laughed and the melody tone of his voice soothed the wounds away. One time it was a fight, with a new girl, boy, lover, friend– anyone– and he found you in the swings in the end of you guys’ street. He sat down as asked if you had any homework for the next day and, if so, to bring it there. Once again, you aced a quiz. Another time, it was just oppressed emotions; apparently his dad facetimed him– cause I only left your mother, Felix, not you,– and told him about the new wife that was pregnant with the new kids. So he marched to your house, politely ignoring your mothers angry glares, and asking if you had any subject you were struggling with. Enough said, your grades improved exponentially once Felix’s life got… well, complicated. He’d always come to you, study, calm down, and leave. Not talk; no heart to heart; not late night confessions. But still better than nothing. 

Safe to say, Felix’s life was at its peak– of fucked up. He had just hit the last stretch of his Senior year in high school and had to start thinking about colleges, and majors, and life, and adulthood. He didn’t want that. Not yet. He wanted high school a little longer, and he didn’t quite know why, but he does. And you? Well, you were in the final round of your Sophomore year, struggling with things that only get worse, and happy with things that probably will get worse, too. You had a friend or two, and you felt like you didn’t need more. You had the people that you love you loved you back, what else could you want? With the exception of a certain neighbor loving you back, that is. Jeongin and Jisung always said that they should be enough, and they are. But sometimes you just need an extra something that they can’t provide and that’s okay. 

It was during one of those nights– the ones that you feel incredibly alone, even though you have Jeongin clinging to your left arm as he snores in your bed, and Jisung mumbling in his sleep on your other side,– that you decide that you were done. It was time to take action yourself, cause you knew he wouldn’t. You sleep that night with sweet dreams of strawberry fields and Bowie’s songs. And Felix. Always Felix. 

You started off simple. A note. And not the lovey dove kind of note– no, you’d never!– but rather a friendly one; one that would uplift him that rainy morning because you know he needed it, because you heard his mom shouting and him crying and you weren’t about to just tell him that to his face so. A note it is. You leave it in his car during your free period, and you honestly couldn’t give two fucks if anyone saw you, cause you wanted it. You wanted Felix to know it was you. 

You are waiting in the field, sitting on your usual spot in the bleachers, with your chemistry book on the side. He finds you like that, bobbing your head to the song playing through your headset, school work set aside, lunch half eaten. 

“You need to eat,” He basically snarls as he pulled your headphones down. “Or else you won’t grow.”

There was a moment of silence before you spoke up. 

“I’m 16, Felix,” You frowned. “I haven’t been “growing” for a few years now.”

His face flushes red and he rolls his eyes. 

“Need help?”

“No, but I think you do.” You say and oh my god you did it you finally did it!

“What?” He chuckles, incredulously. “What do you mean?”

“I’m your neighbor,” You mumble, suddenly shy. “I see… and hear, a lot. And I’m not prying but I can’t really not listen when it’s loud and– well, that’s beside the point. What I mean is that I’m here to listen.”

“And who said I wanted to talk with you?”

“Me,” You shrug. “You come to me whenever something bad happens. To study, even though I am really not sure how that helps you, but let’s skip formalities. What’s happening?”

“What the…?” Felix is seizing you up and you know it. He’s done it so many times for you to recognize the sensation. “You are so weird, Y/N.”

“Meh, I’ve heard worse,” You joke and lean back.

“Who?”

“Who what?” 

“Who told you worse?” Felix asks and he is frowning. For a second, you want to tell him you. You did, with looks, and gossips, and actions. But you don’t. You just shake your head and laughs. 

“Doesn’t matter, Felix,” You say. “Talk to me.”

“What if I don’t want you?”

“Then you wouldn’t be here,” You clarify and you think that’s exactly what he needs; someone to clarify his own actions to him.

So he talks. His mom got angry because he asked if he could visit his dad and then shouting. And more shouting. And him crying and her leaving and him being alone. He hated being alone. And you nod; you nod not because you understand– you don’t,– but you nod because you hated being alone too and because you don’t want to say something and scare him away. So you silently listen to him, for ten, twenty, thirty minutes, until it’s class time again. 

This time, when you are walking to Literature and see him by the lockers, he smiles at you. Just a simple, closed-mouth grin. But it was more than enough to make you giddy for the rest of the day. You arrive home and run to tell your mom and she tries to smile, but ends up with a grimace, because oh god how she hated that boy. 

You wake up the next day and it dawns on you– you did it. You managed to talk to him like friends. Laugh like friends. Smile like friends. And it starts there; it starts with friendship. 

“Y/N!” Your mother shouts from the kitchen, hoping, for the first time in her life, that you were late and still sleeping. “Someone’s here for you.”

You come out of your room with you backpack, looking at something on your phone, when you hear his chuckle. In the morning. In your kitchen. And you are not dreaming; you even slightly pinch yourself to make sure. Felix is in your kitchen. 

“Ready?” He asks adjusting his bag on his shoulders. 

“Yeah, just… just a second.” You blush while kissing your mom goodbye and grabbing an apple. 

You guide Felix out of your house and awkwardly walks besides him. 

“Why…?” You frown, confused.

“Why not?” He laughs and grabs your apple, taking a bite, and giving it back to you. “We’re neighbors, after all. The walks to school don’t need to be lonely.”

And there it was. Once again, Felix didn’t want to be alone. And you were his choice. Last. First. Easiest. Convenient, if you must. But it was you and no once could take that away. 

You two talk about his Senior year so far and your Sophomore hell, and he laughs when you mention those stupid field trips the school took Freshman and Sophomores, and you tell him how it is basically all just an excuse to hook up with people when the teachers are asleep at night. He nods and agrees with you, earning him a slap on his shoulder and a chuckle from you. He tells you about Chan and Australia and, weirdly enough, his dad. He smiles when he mentions Australia, and a weird feeling takes over your body.  A not-so-good feeling, at that, but you simply push it away. 

For weeks, that is your routine: waking up, grabbing any kind of fruit, and walking with Felix to school. It evolved as days went by; first he started coming up to you to talk, then he started befriending your friends, and now, he even ate lunch with you. This was a dream come true and you were on cloud nine. Until college entrance exam day came by. 

Felix had been a ball of nerves and irritation because of it; barely studying and eating no more than the necessary amount to stay awake and studying. He was one of the top students of the school and no one knew where he was applying, not even you, his new rumored best friend. You would occasionally check up on him through your window, and watch him for a few minutes before sighing and minding your own business. But then you heard it all again; the shouts. This time it was worse; louder, more desperate, and then you heard it. Something breaking, shattering, maybe, and a door slamming. You count ten minutes; and then you follow. You know exactly where Felix will be and you take your time waking to the playground. He needed alone time but he also hated being alone. Funny. 

“You took long enough,” He gruff when he sees your shadow approaching and then he is on you.

You didn’t expect that; his hands on your waist, mouth on yours, bodies pressed against each other. He pushes you until your back is against the metal poles holding the swings up, and his hands explore– your waist, back, hair, until they settle; one on your neck and the other pulling the baby hairs you still had. His mouth moves way faster than you’ve ever had the power to imagine; passionate, intense, relieving. You knew what was happening, and you didn’t care. This was a hell of an upgrade from him helping you studied and you didn’t care. You didn’t care he was using you. You didn’t care that he was taking it all only to throw it out. You wanted this, in any shape, way, or form. And, unfortunately, this was yours. 

It takes a while for you two to separate. Your hands keep him close, though, and he doesn’t complain. He wouldn’t dare. 

“I’m leaving,” He winces at how harsh his voice comes out. “I’m leaving and here we are. What am I doing…?”

“I don’t care,” You shrug. “I had a feeling. That you’d be going… back. And I guess I was right?”

“How’d you know?” He mumbles, nose poking your cheek as his mouth dispersed kisses here and there. 

“You love it, Felix,” You sigh, letting your head fall to the side, basically telling him here you go. “I knew you’d be going back home.”

“This is home too,” He growls. “Home is here.”

“Meh, same difference,” You chuckle, enjoying the feeling of him. “You heart is there. It always was.”

“And where is yours?” He asks, breath hitching. You felt his heart speed up, nervousness taking over. 

You smile, in peace. “Right here,” And you let your palm fall on his chest. “With you.”

“Y/N,” He pulls back, nose touching yours. Eyes on yours. Mouths so close… “I’m leaving. I can’t have you… I can’t do that you. Or me.”

“Then lose me,” You whisper, pecking his lips. “Lose me, Felix, and let me find myself again, years later when you visit. I don’t need to be your forever, but… let me be your right now. Let me be your someone to lose.”

He nods. You see tears in his eyes and you kiss them away. You kiss the freckles in his face; the jutted lower lip; the button nose. Everything. Felix was here, now, and that’s all you needed. That’s all you’d allow yourself to need. 

-----------

hello lovelies! I’m sorry it took so long to post, I’m working on about five fics right now and this is the first one to get posted! Let me know what you think :)

[weeping-petals]

Shadow Rabbit

Word Count - 2,493

The Crystal Gems need to have a talk about their encounter with the hostile Spinel, and send Steven off on a quick ‘errand’ to pick up doughnuts. By the time he returns home, he has even more questions.

“That can’t be right. You didn’t just fall asleep.” Pearl began, promptly when they return to the Crystal Temple.

 The blast of light faded, and each member of the Crystal crew stepped off. Pearl followed close behind Steven, still aboard the ‘you’re wrong and I must be correct’ train. Behind the Pearl, Amethyst made a face.

 “Maybe fell on your head,” the lilac gem posed. “Or got dropped, tossed, hurtled. Maybe a fist collided with—”

 “Would you guys stop it!” Steven burst. He tugged off his hoodie and threw it aside. They weren’t listening, and hastened to judge ever sentence that popped out of his mouth. All throughout the hike back, they boggled him with interrogation of what happened, how he felt. The trio was uncharacteristically clingy, more so than if he had fallen into actual peril. “That’s how it happened. We were sneaking around, well, she was sneaking. I stopped paying attention, and… yeah, it was really boring.”

 Amethyst shrugged. “No, that doesn’t sound like Spine. Try again.”

 Pearl disregarded the coat on the floor (very unusual) and knelt on her knee, to examine Steven once more. “You must’ve suffered a concussion. You shouldn’t have been sleeping, in fact, you should stay awake for the next few hours. To be safe.”

 Steven was at his wits end. “I didn’t FALL! The complete opposite of interesting happ—”

 “I could use some doughnuts,” Garnet blurted. She put a hand on Pearl’s shoulder, stole her away from Steven, and set a hand on Amethyst’s head. The two gems went along with the gesture, grasping a hidden meaning. “Steven, you’re the best at catching doughnuts. Do you mind running a quick errand?”

 This was a universal request to excuse them for a short spell. Steven toed the floor with his sandal and pouted. “Sure. Any special requests?”

 Pearl raised a finger. “Two bakers dozen.”

 Amethyst piped up next. “Filling. And coating. Lots of sprinkles. BACON!”

 “Red and blue,” Garnet wished, clasping her hands together. “You better take the wagon.”

 It hurt a little more than it should have, despite knowing it was gem business. The topic always spooked his dad, but it fascinated the pants off Steven. He should have been a part of it; he was the one kidnapped, but he also wanted to help Spinel. The time he spent in her company (or captivity?) felt like days, though it was only a few hours. The sun was rising on the tranquil shores of Beach City, the denizens emerging from storefronts or meandered their way along the boardwalk to begin opening shop. The Crystal Gems spent a whole day and night out in the forest.

 The wagon was easy to haul off from the beach and to the road. He ventured to the front of the Big Doughnut and hurried inside.

 “I need a bakers dozen! ASOP!” He whooped.

 “Whoa-whoa!” Sadie, opening shop today, struggled with two large boxes of merch. “I barely got the displays set. Can ya kinda give me a sec?”

 Steven immediately chilled. “Oh. Sorry! Forgot what time it was. What time is it, by the way?”

 “Barely got in, if that’s a good ref,” she offered. She set the boxes on the counter and began opening, pulling out pre-packaged pastries. “You’re up early for a Saturday.”

 “So, time doesn’t flow differently in the magical petrify forest. Huh?” Steven tried to sound clever, stroking his chin as he crossed to the counter. “In-teer-esting.”

 Sadie smirked as she rose up from behind the display case. “Magical forest? Time flow? Is this more of that gem stuff?” If Lars was here he would be groaning at her, to not get Steven started. But it was nice to have some positive company while she was setting up, and Steven was always getting into some wild adventures. It kept him out of trouble.

 “It was cool,” Steven enthused, eyes starry. “We – the gems and me – went out to check on this rock forest, where this temple was bein’ built. There were crystal trees, bigger than the city, bigger than the temple and the city combined!” He swung his arms up, exaggerating details. “It was sunset there, while here it was middle of the day! Oh-oh! And there was a gem there! A real gem, like Garnet, Pearl, or Amethyst!”

 “A gem person? Y’mean, other than those gem monsters….”

 Steven broke from his whirlwind showman and gawked. “Why does everyone keep hating on her? She’s not a monster!”

 A loud thump resounded from the counter, likely from Sadie bumping her head. “Hold up, take it easy.” She straightened, rubbing her crown. “I’m going off on all those stories you tell, and the fact the other gems are always fighting these… monsters.” She cast her eyes away, hesitant. “And, aside from you, your friends, and… your mom – I had no idea there were other gems, gem people, around. So….”

 “A bakers dozen! Make that two!” Steven announced. “I have to get back, so I can ask them about her.”

 “I gotcha the first time, kiddo.” Sadie resumed ripping packages and lining up the inventory. “That’s like twenty-six doughnuts, and we’re not officially opened yet. What sort of doughnuts you want? I can go through the boxes and get started.”

 “My dad!”

 Thump!

 “Maybe he knows something about her!” Steven did an about-face and raced to the door. But halted. “Wait, Amethyst might be upset if she doesn’t get her doughnuts.” He did a little dance at the door, indecisive about what he should do and fighting the urge to blast out to the carwash. Even worse, what if his dad didn’t know anything?

 “Yes, do that!” he harped.

 Sadie sighed and dropped her forehead to the countertop. Adorable as Steven was, he sure was a mess.

 “So,” she said, after hauling out the third box from storage. “Did you catch the name of this new gem?”

 Steven sat at one of the tables, swinging his feet under the chair. “Spinel.” He was twiddling his thumbs on the tabletop, focused intently. The crash of the box snapped his attention back to Sadie.

 “Spindle?”

 “Spinel,” Steven repeated. Sadie gazed at him, expression perplexed. “Hmm?”

 “Sorry. I’m sure I’ve heard that name before.” She shook her head. “No idea where.”

 “My dad?”

 “Nope.” Sadie collected up the boxes and made progress on filling up the order. “That’s half my stock. Anyway, I think it was… Sour Cream? Certainly not Lars. I think it was around Halloween, we were sharing creepy stories about stuff that frightened us, y’know, when we were kids. That guy Sour Cream told us about this imaginary friend that was a kind of variant of this crooked man, and he called it Spindle—”

 Outside the Big Doughnut, Steven burst from the doors screaming, “SOUR CREAM!”

 Sadie was not close behind, didn’t catch Steven, and stood at the threshold. “Steven! YOUR DOUGHNUTS!”

 For the better part of the day, Steven raced across Beach City checking every nook and cranny he laid eyes on, every shady alleyway seeking the ‘Cool Kids’. He ventured to the abandoned warehouse, but the nights activities ended hours before dawn. In desperation, he tried hammering away at Lars door, but the father of Lars answered and spoke on behalf of his son that “that boy is still sleeping.” Steven raced off, exploring all the likely cool places the Cool Kids would meetup. He had no idea where Sour Cream lived, let alone other go to hangouts. He didn’t want to race out to the cliff.

 At long last, Steven began a desperate patrol of the shoreline. And there, near the pier of Funland he spied the Cool Kids in the midst of a round of hacky sack. And there was Sour Cream, balancing the lumpy satchel on his knee.

 “Sour Cream!”

 “Huh?” He balanced the sack on his elbow, right before Steven nearly bowled him over. “Brah! What gives—” He passed the orb, and Jenny managed to nab it on her ankle. “I guess I’m taking two!”

 “I have questions! Questions! And you have answers I need! Please!”

 Reluctantly, Sour Cream let his arm get tugged by Steven, and went along with the pre-teen. “I was in the middle of something. Do you get bad reception at your house? Texting is a thing.”

 Steven stalled. Above, the noises from screaming ride goers spilled down as the coaster careened through its track. “That’s… true. I’m used to talking face-to-face though. Heh.”

 Once Sour Cream liberated his arm, he jammed his hands in his pockets. “That’s more direct. I see the appeal.” He nodded. “I can’t help but catch those vibes of tension radiating off you. You got something you think I’ll help you with?”

 “I don’t know.” Steven was beginning to second guess. He was in such a hurry to locate Sour Cream, a task deemed all but possible, he didn’t gather up a good question. Or beginning. “Uh… did you ever know a gem?”

 “Amethyst? Yeah. Forever a long—”

 “No-no-no.” Steven took a breath. And stalled. Amethyst? He shook his head. “A gem named Spinel?” The bafflement that met him was disheartening.

 “Sorry lil dude. Aside from Amy, I don’t know any gems.”

 “Well,” Steven cupped his chin and considered. “What about the crooked creature? Spindle?” At first Sour Cream shook his head, but then, recognition lit up in his eyes.

 “Ooh, yeah. That thing.” He turned his gaze up thoughtfully. “This critter used to hang around the city, I’d see it lurking in the shadows sometimes. Kinda spooked me, but I didn’t get the ambiance it was dangerous.” He stooped on the sand, and began sketching out a face, grin, bent body, and tall ears. “It was sort of like a rabbit, made of ramen. Say, who’s been telling you my stories?”

 Steven didn’t answer. He was mesmerized by the crude picture, and could see how Spinel could be mistaken for a rabbit. Minus the fluffy tail. “Spindle?”

 “Yeah! Er, don’t know where the name came from.” Sour Cream weaved his arm in the air, fish like. “It did this deal, sort of slithered up and down walls. I’d see it, but no one else could. Meh. As I got older, I stopped seeing it. One day, I guess.” He shrugged and stood. “I grew up.”

 The story was very strange, but there was no mistaking what was staring at Steven from the sand. “Thanks Sour Cream. That really helped.”

 “Really? I didn’t do much.” He wiped the sand from his hands.

 Steven waved, as he took off. “That was all I needed. Sorry for stealing you from the game!”

 “No prob. Don’t do anything I would!”

 It was a long hike back to the Big Doughnut. Long, because Steven was halfway to the Crystal Temple, before he realized he’d forgotten the goods. He hurried back to the shop and raced inside.

 “Where’d you go?” Sadie asked, upon coming from the back storage.

 “No time to explain! I hope I’m not too late!” He grabbed the doughnuts, nearly forgot to pay, and went back to the cash register.

 “Too late for what?” she was getting panicked. Steven was sweaty and red, from running around too much in the sun. “Are you okay?”

 “Thanks for the doughnuts! I’ll see you tomorrow!” Steven blew out of the store, nearly plowing into Lars.

 “Crud, what is it now?” Lars barked, scuttling aside. “Don’t they feed you?”

 “I was just leaving!” Steven threw the boxes onto the wagon and took off, leaving a cloud of dust.

 Lars scratched his head. “Weird. Usually he tries to hug me… or something else weird. Sadie!” He entered the shop. “Did you give him caffeine again?”

 “Again!?”

 Racing a second time back to temple winded Steven. He managed to not lose a single doughnut or box on the uneven, and soft surface of the sand. Local seagulls took an interest in his cargo, and a few brash winged beasts pursued prepared to tear apart the precious goods if the boy stopped for the barest of moments. It raised the stakes for Steven’s skirmish back to the home, but he managed.

 “Shoo! Rawr!” He swung his arms at the seagulls, as he unloaded the boxes. They were still following him, gracefully gliding on wind current, while Steven ascended the steps. “AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”

 Steven plowed through the screen door. Boxes went flying, a few doughnuts scattered, and seagulls poured in through the gaping portal. “Hey guys!” More seagulls swooped in, settling on the confectionary treats slain in the madness.

 The Crystal Gems gawked with varied stages of horror. Except Garnet. This was not the scenario she anticipated, but it was no less what she would’ve expected.

 “My DOUGNUTS!” Amethyst roared. She shifted form mid leap, and a large liger pounced on the crushed boxes, hissing and swiping at the laughing gulls. One bit her on the nose. “OW!”

 Steven rolled away before he got stepped on. He still had a lone box in his hands. “Salvaged one!” He scampered up and held it out to Pearl.

 “Aw, uh, thank you… Steven.” She took the box and handed it to Garnet, whom just held it. “It took you longer than we expected.”

 “RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR!” Liger Amethyst shook her mane. Seagulls had overrun her, while she competed with them for eating the doughnuts. The birds were stealing the crumbs from beneath her jagged teeth. “THAT’S MINE YOU SEA RATS!”

 Pearl grimaced and clasped a hand over her mouth. Garnet sighed.

 “I think that’s enough of that.” Garnet handed the box back to Steven. “Cover your ears.” Pearl did that for him, but Steven was concerned, and dropped the doughnut container to set his hands over Pearl’s.

 Garnet formed the gauntlets and walked over to the doorway, where Ligerthyst combated the bold avians. She raised her hands over her head.

 “OUT OF OUR HOUSE OF SUFFER MY WRATH!” She screamed. That was it. She was loud, and commanding, and terrifying when needed.

 The seagulls screeched and flapped, vacating the premises in a white cloud. In their wake, feathers covered everything, including a scratched and scuffed up Liger. “ooOow.” Amethyst pawed at the boxes, tears formed in her eyes.

 Steven shifted his head to view Pearl. Her hands went tense, and were uncomfortable on his head. He couldn’t hear, but Pearl looked super upset and paler than usual. He pulled away from her grip.

 Amethyst sniffled. “Nothings left. It’s all gone. Everything. Gone.”

 “Look! We still have one box here! TADA!” Pearl snatched the box off the floor. She barely got the lid off, before Ligerthyst lay siege to the contents. She sighed, relieved.

 Steven almost expected vultures to descend, it looked like one of those nature documentaries in the veldt. Anything would be more pleasant than those seagulls. “Um, so… did Spinel live in Beach City, too?”

 The room went silent, and all three gems looked at Steven. Ligerthyst had crumbs all over her muzzle.

[dailydoseofcolor]

Taking Stock of Units in Fire Emblem Heroes, Part 2

Next! Let’s take a look at the merged heroes I have and feel some sort of affinity for:

My 5*+10s:

Nowi (+Atk): She still puts in WORK. My first 5*+10 and she is an evergreen feature on any Grand Conquest teams, first runs of Lunatic maps, etc. She deserves a kit upgrade sometime soon, but somehow LB/Aether/SB/QR/Threaten Res/Distant Def still get the job done almost every time. Sothe (+Spd): Sothe is one of the first characters I ever really fell in love with from Radiant Dawn. He was an easy +10 decision. Again, I need to upgrade his kit soon, I have Broadleaf Dagger+ fodder....I just feel like I have to choose between him and Matthew, and I adore Matthew’s personality and I feel like I just need to bite the bullet and just raise both. Ross (+Spd): I literally yelped when he was released. Favorite character from the first game I actually beat (played FE7 first but beat it after beating SS). Every major decision in summoning since his release was clouded by “but I should still summon on Green for Ross merges.” But he’s done! This little dude runs so many builds and is also a main staple on teams. The Almosts (Most of these I actually have the resources to +10 but have been holding off because of a need to keep resources on hand to remain competitive):

Lyon, +7: My sweet boy. Major staple on most teams for a while before he just...couldn’t keep up. He needs a refine BADLY. Sophia literally takes him behind the woodshed and beats him within an inch of his life. We all know he likes it. He was the first person I sacked a Counter skill to. I love him and I want the best for him...but not until I know what his refine is.

Mordecai, +7 (+Atk): Another soft boy. Honestly, I merged him up because I had them available and got drunk while playing PoR. He functions very well at this merge level. I’ll get him up one day, but he really can’t be a focus right now, given he serves a very similar combat function to Nowi.

Shigure, +6 (+Atk): This is one of those scenarios where the voice actor really drew me to the character. Matt Mercer kills Shigure’s voice lines and also I got pitybroken by him a LOT. He’s got a pretty balanced stat-line, but performs better as a player phase duelist....except I want to eventually use Valter instead. That’s 99% the only reason I’ve held off, the other is having Harmonic Lance+ fodder just in case. I have the merges for Shigure, but I have a feeling this is as far as he goes.

Micaiah, +5 (+Atk): Best girl from RD (we all know this). Honestly, I haven’t ever sniped for merges on her, these are all organic, which is impressive. But she deserves the +10 and I think I would rank her pretty high in terms of trying to achieve that. Too bad I just missed several good opportunities to do so. This is why I should have done this a while ago.

Nino, +5 (+Spd): I have uncovered a not-so-secret trend. I have a major bias towards characters from Blazing Blade, Sacred Stones, Path of Radiance, Radiant Dawn and, to an extent, Awakening. These were the games I played growing up, so it makes sense that they stayed. ANYWAY. Nino, adorable and punches through everything. I find I don’t really have a ton of space for her on teams, though...she was easy to merge and offers no fodder. I have all the materials, but she’ll honestly have to wait, like Mordecai.

Now, I think I should list out every character with at least +1 merge, to sort through who should be a priority. So this will go in descending order:

Mia, +3 (+Res): One of the only speedy sword girls I actually give a shit about (unsurprisingly). I would love a +10 eventually. Masked Marth, +3: A product of a bygone age. I never spent any real fodder on her, so I’ll chalk this one up to *meh*. OG Eliwood, +3 (+Atk): I have all the resources to +10 him. He’s my favorite Lord. He’s incredible in combat. He has amazing Resplendent Art. Why the fuck have I not finished him. I’ve failed my boy. Forgive me Eliwood. He’s clearly a high level priority. What have I been doing. Astram, +2: He’s a strong unit and has a great niche but I just....don’t care about him. I built him for this week’s Arena needs. His cost is just way too high as a Grail unit. He’ll stay at +2 for now.    Joshua, +2: He was almost my first grail merge project and I...held off. Idk, his cost is so high. but I love his personality and he’s near the top of the grail pile that deserves a refine. I might wait until then?? Idk, I’m torn. I think he could put in good work if I took the time to kit him properly. I need to put more thought into him. Eldigan, +2 (+Def): Multiple pitybreakers that have been merged. Garbage. Next. Donnel, +2 (+Atk): Donnel’s another character I’ve always really liked, but held off, because my Blue Enemy Phase Infantry slot remains filled. His new refine gives him an interesting niche, but is he worth the resources? I have the merges and feathers, but I’m hesitant to pull the trigger. Hawkeye, +2 (+Def): Another random decision I made months and months ago for...no particular reason? He’s got a great refine, but there’s nothing he can do that Ross or Brave Ike can’t. Brave Ike, +2 (+Atk): Speaking of...amazing typing, amazing refine, I sacked my only Nailah to him in order to finally make it to T21 in AR. I have one more waiting in the wings, because I worry that I might need Steady Breath for someone in the future. But I think the ship has sailed on SB’s hey-day. An extra merge for survivability is likely better. Rath, +2 (+Spd): I love Rath so much. His personality, his art, all great. He got SHAFTED stat line wise but....we shall prevail. I have a +Atk waiting in the wings, but I think I’ll keep the +Spd. Speed is king and will remain king until something drastic changes in the meta. He could be +7 with the copies I have, so I’ll likely up his merges soon. Lissa, +2 (+Res): I love Lissa. She’s so cute and she was the first true defensive healer, and I LOVE healers...but she’s incredibly outclassed at this point. Resplendent Lissa when??? I don’t see this going forward without some kind of refine/Resplendent. Adult Tiki, +2 (+Atk): Tiki has the misfortune of just not appearing as fast as Nowi did in terms of merges. I don’t love all dragon teams, and Nowi has the better color. Plus her refine isn’t amazing. She’ll remain here for now. Y!Marth, +1 (+Atk): I am on the fence about whether I feel regret for not pulling more for Y!Marth. His weapon is so strong, he’s got great stats, and not great fodder. But I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I decided +1 was better than trying for the +10 and getting mad when I spent money on orbs. But he puts in work. I love him as a unit. OG Alm, +1 (+HP): Funnily enough, as an almost day-one player, I didn’t pull an OG Alm until halfway through his availability as a Limited-Time Divine Code option. He was a free pull on some random banner and obviously got a merge afterwards. I like his character, but I don’t know if I will ever make an effort to +10. Saber, +1 (+Atk): One of my absolute favorite units. One of the characters I had Summoner Supported for a period of time. His refine is very interesting and allows for some really interesting builds. I might need to make more of an effort for him in the future. Ayra, +1 (+HP): I’ll be honest, I don’t love Ayra. I don’t like the speed arms race she kicked off, and I’m bummed I didn’t just use her as Swift Sparrow fodder. Whatever. Black Knight, +1: Big surprise here: I love the Black Knight. I think he still holds up as a viable option for Red Armors. His cost remains high as a Grail unit, but I think it might be worth it, given how many armor skills exist now. Elincia, +1 (+Atk): The trend continues: character from PoR and RD that I love. She’s got amazing player phase capabilities, and eventually she’d be a great +10. Lukas, +1 (+Atk): The OG physical tank. Great personality and solid niche, but I have others who do the same thing. Nephenee, +1 (+Spd): The Halberdier class in PoR still ranks as one of my all time favorite character ranks. Nephenee languished as -Spd for a long time before I snagged another merge. I love her character and need to prioritize her builds. I’d love for her to demote one day (lol), but she’ll go on the list of 5* exclusive merge desires. OG Azura, +1 (Neutral): I feel like OG Azura is still outclassed, even with her Resplendent stats. Although she has a strong niche as a triple Chill support unit. I need to actually build her and deploy her before I sink any real assets into her. Legendary Ephraim, +1 (+Res): I pulled Legendary Ephraim long before I ever pulled OG Ephraim. He finds use mostly as a Grand Conquests lead. Which makes me realize that I don’t have a ton of lance cavaliers....or really any that I would really love to build. I’ll look into this. Altena, +1 (+Def): I adore Altena. She’s one of those characters that FEH really introduced me to and I fell in love with her personality, and she’s got a great kit. I’d love for her to be 3*/4*, but I find myself thinking I should pull for Blue on random banners, just in case I pull extras. She’s a high priority merge project. Halloween Dorcas, +1: Another case of a strange decision made without any real thought. Especially since Hack-o’-Lantern+ is a solid axe to have in a unit’s back pocket. I’m suddenly mad at myself for doing this. Minerva, +1 (+Atk): You know, Minerva was the third 5* I ever pulled in this game, and I never really found a use for her somehow. I suppose I avoided flying units for a long time, just because they were always physical, and usually less useful than infantry or cavalry units (what a time). She’s merged because of a pity breaker. Young Minerva, +1: Ironic, I know. Y!Minerva is near the top of my list for Grail projects. She’ll likely get a +10 eventually, it’s hard to top the skills she has available. And I’m weirdly a sucker for tiny children who destroy enemies. I love this unit. Legendary Alm, +1 (+Def): My first pull of L!Alm was -Spd, which was a major fucking bummer. I ultimately decided I needed to fix that when I pulled one a while back, it was a good decision. I am never going to have the resources to pump more into him, though. So his base kit will do for now. Matthew, +1 (+Atk): Let’s talk briefly about how fucking bad Matthew’s attack stat is. At lvl 41 with a 14 mt dagger equipped and attack boon he has 43 attack. Literal garbage. His refine makes him useable and I want to +10 him so badly because I love his character, but again, it clashes directly with the Sothe I already built, who only loses out on the defense that Matthew’s packing. It’s hard to justify, ngl. Kagero, +1 (+Atk): I am only human. Every once in a while, I am susceptible to the pull of a waifu or two. Cool refine, solid niche, but hard to justify when I have characters that do the work better. Julia, +1 (+Def): Another character I didn’t have for literal years, and got in back to back banners long after she had a hey-day. Crystalelemental on Tumblr loves Julia and, honestly, that love kinda rubbed off. She doesn’t even have skills equipped, but I’ve been on the lookout for a way to deploy her. She’ll get a good kit eventually. Legendary Female Fallen Robin, +1 (+Spd): Describing some of these characters becomes a mouthful. Solid niche, and she got a merge because she kept pitybreaking me on the road to Bramimond. The rest were sacked for Res Smoke fodder. She’s useful from time to time, but not a favorite. Lethe, +1 (+Def): I always liked Mordecai more than Lethe, but she hits a lot of criteria for me. Her typing holds her back a little bit, though. I also don’t run all beast teams very often, and that’s where she really shines. It also doesn’t help that her first appearance was as -Atk. Sometimes heroes with bad IVs that you love kinda lose their luster, which is sad. Kaden, +1 (Neutral): Both times a pitybreaker. Great niche as a unit, sees plenty of use when I’m running Bonus Doubler shenanigans. Doesn’t see a ton of use outside of that.

Phew. That was a lot to write. If you read through that....I am deeply impressed. I think next is taking stock of what I actually want in terms of unit niches, and which ones would fill those roles that I could target. 

[movedyourchair505]

Napule Nights - ventidue

I had this chapter planned since I decided this would be chaptered, and I cannot thank Elana enough for helping me through writing this, I am truly a mess, and I appreciate everyone’s support so much. I hope this does mine, hers and all of your expectations justice. Smut ahead. 

- chapter navigation -

x

If anything, talking to Kane had made Jade think more about Turner, wondering while she was hearing more and more about his close friend, what he himself thought of it all, how deep their relationship really was, but Kane changed the subject or made a vague comment whenever they even neared it so when she was back in her suite, after he'd walked her down despite the presence of the security guard, she was left with more questions than answers.

Finally getting comfortable in bed, the buzz from dinner slowly getting to her head, she got lost in a frenzy of orgasms again, replaying in her head how Turner had looked at her when driving himself inside her, pressed her into the seat and restricting her from moving, forcing her to take his every thrust, gratefully taking anything he was willing to give her. The more time passed since she'd seen him, the more she was beginning to process what she was really doing and despite it only being whenever he pleased, it was starting to dawn on her that she had been consistently having sex with Alexander Turner.

The authority that rang with his name, the power she knew he possessed merely because of who he was, it fuelled her desire for him even more, the more she grew aware of how much things had changed and the more perspective she was gathering, the more she thought of the way she'd continuously made him lose control, him of all people, and it made her felt empowered, while she also reveled in the feeling of how he'd dominated her, how he dominated her without even being present, when she alone in her bed, her fingers rubbing her own clit vigorously, pushing one of her toys in and out of her eager heat, attempting to mimic the way Turner would fuck her but it wasn't hard enough, his voice was merely a memory but it was enough to have her sobbing his name into her pillow, wishing he was on top of her to give her what she so desperately craved because despite her best efforts, nothing she did herself would feel as intense as him, would make her so dizzy with lust that she forgot where she was and who he was.

Eventually, after more orgasms than she could keep track of with her drunken mind, she dozed off, waking up way too early the next day from a harsh knock on her door, shooting up straight in her bed and hoping with every fiber of her being that it was a henchman that Turner had sent to get her, because while she'd been reduced to hopes and pleas the night before, she was starting to grow frustrated that Turner hadn't told her he'd be leaving and even though he didn't owe her anything, she felt entitled to at least know where he was and when he'd return, her anger only fuelled when another henchman she'd never seen announced she'd take a trip with Serena.

Similarly to the previous day, Serena spoke only the necessities with her, relied on others to explain the things that seemed to need explaining and despite her tiredness and the slight hangover, Jade tried her best to keep up, knowing that Serena would not have done this without Turner ordering her. The realisation furthermore acted as another drop in her already boiling frustration, because it'd meant that when leaving, he'd thought about her after all, had not simply forgotten but instead made the conscious decision to not tell her and instead create a work schedule to keep her busy. But more than she liked to admit, it also made her hope that if he had made sure she'd learn and do all those jobs, he'd also demand to be told how she did and she was desperate to impress him, to defy him by succeeding even when he'd simply tried to occupy her time with business.

At the end of the day, sat in the car with two more henchmen she'd never seen before, she was exhausted, ready to go home and aching to take off the slinky black dress she'd been restricted by all day, the thin straps barely holding up her breasts that threatened to spill out the second she made the wrong move. She ached to take another hot shower, getting rid of the boredom, the pent up frustration that had built throughout the day and she just needed a relief, needed desperately to relax as she worried more and more that maybe Turner had decided she wasn't worth it, had decided she'd seen too much and from now on she really was just working for his family after all.

The car stopped and one of the security guards climbed out of the car, holding the door open for her, her hand moving subconsciously to her bag that held her gun the second she stepped out. It seemed they were now nowhere near the headquarters, instead, she could hear the waves which suggested they were close to the ocean, her whole body tensing as she looked back and forth between the henchmen, one of them walking ahead and gesturing for her to follow.

She wondered now why she hadn't been told where they were going, if the reason was that she was supposed to be caught off guard, because had it been another job, she would have been prepared, that's the one thing she was certain of and she considered for a moment to just run, have her gun ready and shoot and then she'd get away from it all but she tried to use the method she suspected herself, appearing calm and collected on the outside by taking slow, shallow breaths.

She swallowed hard. “Where are we?” She asked, her voice steadier than she'd dreaded at least.

Neither of the men accompanying her turned around or even took notice of her question, her heart dropping when she recognised the man standing by the door of the building they'd been approaching. Cook.

It was one of the few times she was relieved to see him, but already regretted her sentiment when she saw the underlying smug expression on his face, probably having seen the initial fear in her eyes and he held his arm out as a gesture for her to follow him, walking into the large building through the sliding doors, leaving the other two men behind.

Her heart was pounding, but she refused to get her hopes up, she'd already the day before thought she would see Turner and then been disappointed, now she was not going to make that same mistake. “Tell me where I am” she demanded, the slight panic in her voice now more apparent, especially to him.

He stared back at her blankly as he held a card down on a scanner by the lift, the doors sliding open and he led her inside, pressing a button that made the doors close instantly again. His stare only made her feel more uneasy, like she shouldn't even be asking that question.

“Cook” she said, her voice louder, harsher.

He remained unimpressed, shifting in place. “Weh're at Turner's place.” His tone was mocking, matter-of-factly, and more frustrating than anything that had ever come out of his mouth but when she heard him confirm her suspicions, her heart beat sped up tenfold.

Now with the knowledge about what was coming, the ride up with the lift took forever, number after number flying up on the screen and she was just beginning to think that they were only playing with her again when the doors flew open and she was staring right at Helders, waiting on the other side of the door and gesturing for her to follow, leaving Cook behind to go back down again and then they were stood in front of a black double door, gold handles and the number 505 on her eye line.

Helders held a key card to the screen beside the door, a click and he turned the handle to push it open, gesturing with his hand for Jade to go inside and before she knew, she stood inside a large room, the door falling shut quietly behind her.

Her eyes fell on Turner instantly, the sound of her heels clicking on the ground as she placed one foot in front of the other, approaching him, it didn't stir him where he sat on the edge of the large bed standing on a raised part of the room, the sheets satin and wine red, three steps separating the elevated platform, despite his profile facing her she couldn't see his face properly as he sat bent forward with his hands on his knees and for a moment, she was worried that she'd make him jump, startle him if she spoke up but he must have already heard her, her thought confirmed when she cleared her throat and there was still no response.

He only looked up when she was right next to him, looked at him without knowing what to think. She was still frustrated about how he'd handled leaving and leaving her with all these tasks, conflicted because she wanted him so bad, relieved that he was okay and her heart stopped when his eyes met hers, having taken a few seconds until his eager gaze had made its way from her heels to her face.

“'ello, Jade” he drawled, elongating her name longer than necessary as she came to stop in front of him, his lip stretching slightly in that way that made him so distinctly himself and he reached forward to pick up a glass of whiskey from the table, the bottle beside it already missing a good portion, the glaze in his eyes suggesting he'd consumed it not too long ago, his gaze still locked on hers as he took a sip, then placing it back down before leaning and shifting back slightly. Half of his black shirt was unbuttoned, collar not as crisp as usual, the sleeves rolled up, his chain resting against his collarbones, his shirt tucked into his grey suit trousers, hair falling into his eyes.

“I'm gunna need yeh teh dance for meh” he stated, surprised by the authority in his voice but clearing his throat, not allowing himself to let his poise falter now.

Somewhere, faded into the background, there was a record playing, something slow, mellow, the lights turned down enough to not irritate her tired eyes, dipping the luxurious living space into a soft light. The furniture was dark, the colours tasteful, expressive of him as a person, and it smelled exclusively of smoke and the cologne that always intoxicated her.

It was strange, felt unreal that she was in his apartment, having thought about what it would look like and it didn't stray too far from her imagination, but the overwhelming feeling was instantly overshadowed by his demanding tone, his indifferent demeanor, acting as if this was normal.

“Did you have a nice trip?” She asked, staying as she was, crossing her arms in front of her chest and refusing to break eye contact. In her mind, she was already ten steps further, sat in his lap, drawing the shallow breaths and little repressed moans from him she was aching to hear again, realising now how much she'd thought about him when touching herself, and that now he was right there in front of her.

His brows furrowed in confusion, he tilted back his head. “I told yeh teh do summat for meh, doll.”

“Is this a booty call, Turner?” She asked, raising her eyebrows.

His expression remained blank, unimpressed. “Dun't act like yeh dun't want me attention” he said, licking his lips. He could taste the alcohol on his lips, unsure if she could hear the way he was slurring his words, but concealing it best he could. “Been finkin' 'bout meh, 'aven't yeh?”

She swallowed, shifting her weight from one foot to the other. It took everything inside her not to follow his instructions, despite her frustration she was desperate for him, had been desperate to see him again for three full days, but she refused now to give in, only to then be disappointed again.

“Well” she said, a small smile playing around her lips, sensing a small window of opportunity in the way he phrased his question, slowly closing the space between them, the slit in the thigh of her dress allowing her to move despite the tapered shape. “Have you been thinking about me, Turner?”

He scrunched up his face, shaking his head and spreading his thighs apart slightly as she got closer, licking his lips again. “Told yeh teh not fookin' call meh tha'...” he drawled, his voice straining, his adam's apple bobbing in his throat as he swallowed, looking up at her body as she began slowly swaying her hips from side to side, her fingers running through her hair to give it a bit of volume, pushing her lips forward slightly into a sultry pout, her eyes half-lidded, yet focused on his every move.

She ran her hands flat from her hips up her breasts, palming them through her dress, but making sure it stayed in place, the sense of hope slowly fading when he lowered his gaze for a moment, his eyes only snapping back up when she got closer, pushing her hips forward, then circling them slightly, spreading her legs enough to hover over his lap, tilting her head so her hair swung slowly over her shoulder, her movements drawn out, teasing, more daring even than last time, yet barely eliciting a reaction.

She'd pushed her previous worries to the back of her mind before, but now she realised that maybe she'd been right all along, she'd pushed him too far and he'd given in too much, had gotten bored, even now when she had given in despite his disrespectful behaviour, and she was growing desperate for a reaction now, the atmosphere so different, so unfamiliar, it almost scared her how distanced he was, even when she was doing her best.

She knew she had nothing to lose now, bending forward to bring her breasts onto his eye line, his scent intensifying around her as she spread her hands out on his knees, dragging them up his firm thighs, holding her breath when there was still no reaction, his eyes looking up but they were staring into the distance, his mind off somewhere and she slowly retreated her hands, standing up straight, the song in the background getting quieter and quieter and she swallowed.

Beyond confused, she shifted, her tiredness slowly beginning to take over, the exhaustion from the day taking a toll on her and now this, she breathed out, disregarding her place completely and sitting down beside him, yet carefully watching him just in case, almost jumping when he suddenly turned his head and looked right at her, eyes wide open again, glossy and inquisitive, but mainly, he was genuinely confused.

“Why'd yeh stop?” He asked, his voice quieter now.

“Tur-...” she sighed. “Alexander, a stripper pole would give me more attention.” She tried to keep her voice down, but it was all threatening to come out, her tone snappy, and she was unsure where the confidence suddenly came from.

“Fookin'ell” he muttered. “The trip were no good, I'm fookin' tired, alreyht? 's not me job teh give yeh attention, it's yehr bloodeh job teh dance for meh.”

“Is that my job?” She asked, her voice rising higher and she shook her head in disbelief. “It seems my job description changes every fucking day!”

He raised an eyebrow at her, his lips twitching, a dark chuckle following. “So yeh're swearin' at meh now, yeh?”

She sighed, running her fingers through her hair. “Are you drunk, Alexander?”

“Dun't fookin' matter, does it?” He muttered, swallowing hard, holding her gaze.

“Are you back to being a dick now then?” She wasn't holding back now, she was getting impatient.

His eyes widened, then he blinked, several times before he was able to speak. “Come again?”

“Well, one day you're fucking me to build up your ego, another you're sending me on little errands to keep me busy” she stated.

“Oh, Jade...” he said, the tone in his voice unsettling her, it was the mockery, the realisation that he could turn her words around, gain the upper hand. “Are yeh joost sulkin' because I 'aven't put me cock in yehr mouth? Or because I'm not poundin' yehr droolin' little cunt yet?”

She took a breath, trusting herself enough to know that she wasn't imagining the shift in how he was carrying himself around her, that there really was something off, that he was forcing his words, rather than dropping them naturally, barely looking at her, eyes fully diverting her gaze when she gave him no reaction, his shoulders dropping and he let out a sigh.

Jade swallowed, the silence slowly becoming unbearable and she took another deep breath, deciding there really was nothing to lose, no rules applied now and she reached to touch his hair, the shaky breath that escaped his lips enough to ease her to the point where she felt safe to continue, the initial flinch brief, instinctive, and she felt him lean into her touch. “Alexander” she said quietly, her own voice not quite as stable as she would have liked. “Do you want me to relax you?” No matter his name, he was a man after all, and she refused to watch more this shift.

His eyes fell shut, his head automatically tilting into the touch of her hand and she shifted instantly, moving one of her legs over his to situate herself in his lap, the tension in her body slowly easing when he didn't seem to mind and she stroked her fingers through his hair the way she had before, the reaction now finally familiar, the sigh of relief, the way his hands came down instantly on her hips, the grip tight, demanding.

She was not only eager to distract him, but also sensed an opportunity to get exactly what she wanted now, raking her fingers through his hair again before adjusting her sitting position in his lap, satisfied with the guttural moan falling from his lips when her dress was pushed up slightly as she got more comfortable, rubbing up against the bulge in his tight trousers and she reached to start unbuttoning his shirt to simply ease him into the idea, still worried that he might change his mind and push her away, but he merely looked up at her, his hooded eyes clouded with lust, and something else, deep, something she hadn't seen before, something he hadn't allowed her to see before.

She felt safe to continue when he didn't push her away, grinding her hips down into his again to elicit more of a reaction, slowly beginning to push his shirt down his shoulders, the irony of being more worried than ever before, yet doing something she wouldn't normally dare at the back of her mind as she was now trying not to think, to do what felt natural, to trust her instinct and what she'd already figured out about him, it was surreal.

She was prepared for him to snap at any moment, to grab her throat and flip them over, push her face into the cushions of the couch and take all his pent up frustration out of her, but right now, he seemed to be in no state to do so, drinking her in instead, even lifting his arms slightly when she moved to push the shirt down his bicep, her hand moving to the back of his neck to gather leverage once one sleeve was off and she was about to move her fingers back up into his hair when she felt something at the nape of his neck, having expected his skin to be smooth, the way the perfection he embodied suggested and she absently traced her fingers lower, touching more and more bumps slightly lifted on his skin, moving his other sleeve down his arm and leaning enough to spot a series of scars trailing from his back to his shoulder.

He seemed to pay no mind to her discovery, merely leaned into the touch of her fingers, his eyes closed once again, face scrunching up with discomfort when she disrupted the silence. “Alexander...”

“Mmmm?” He asked, forcing his eyes open.

“What the-...” She asked, trailing off as she gasped when she realised just how many scars were scattered all over his shoulders, leaning forward but his hands tightened their grip instantly on her hips, keeping her in place.

Alex took a deep breath, having almost forgotten what she could possibly be looking at, had tried forever to forget about it all, and on nights like these, the booze tended to do the trick.

“Alexander” she said, her voice now firm, looking at him intensely for an explanation rather than trying to shimmy out of his grip.

He swallowed, his adam's apple straining behind the sensitive skin at his throat and his eyes found hers, deep and dark and she felt a tear on her heart. “Yeh fookin' kno' people try teh kill meh” he muttered, praying intentively that it was enough. “Tha's not fookin' news, yeh was there.”

“What the fuck happened?” She asked, now unable to keep her voice down, she was not going to let this go because as if it didn't look horrific enough already, she was also completely taken aback by how unnerved it made her feel, seeing him hurt, not physically, but also clearly having trouble keeping on his mask right now and it was wrong, his usual strength and authority reduced to harsh defenses, unsettling her deeply.

“Still swearin' at meh then, are yeh?” He drawled, the corner of his mouth twitching upwards, but the amusement his question should have evoked didn't reach his eyes, the joke defeated.

She pressed her lips together, refusing to take her eyes off his. She hated the shift of dynamics, found it disturbing that he was struggling to justify himself while he would have shut down any of her questions at any other point in time, but now here they were, and she wasn't going to let that opportunity pass without making the most of it. “Tell me” she said, reaching to run her fingers through his hair again, her nails scraping at the back of his head, making him sigh out and drop his shoulders, tilting his head back into her touch, his gaze never leaving hers. “You can trust me.”

He let out a shaky breath, she could slowly feel the tension leaving his body, observing a slight roll of his eyes. “I fookin' kno' tha'...” he muttered matter-of-factly, as if it were unnecessary to even utter aloud. He swallowed. “There were a girl...”

The second she sensed that he was opening up, she peeked her chance, reaching behind her to pick up the lighter and fish a smoke from the pack on the table, lifting it for him, transfixed by the way his lips parted and trapped the cigarette eagerly, both of them watching the flame dance until she lit it and he let go of her hip to take a drag, visibly relaxing more, his eyes fixed on hers again and despite his troubles, his mind clearly at war, the intensity never left his gaze, had her heart racing and questioning everything she'd ever known about him as opposed to making it easy for her by looking away, as anyone else would have done in the vulnerable situation he was in.

“That seems to be a pattern for you...” she said, feeling more confident now, because while she didn't quite receive the upper hand, she felt more and more secure in her assumption that he wasn't just going to snap, gently tracing her finger over his scar below his eyebrow, jumping when she felt him flinch.

He covered for himself with a weak chuckle, his chest rising and falling heavily. “Betrayed meh” he muttered, taking another drag from his cigarette. “Let 'er in when I shouldn't 'ave.”

Jade pressed her lips together, trying to process it all, trying her hardest to not relate it to the patterns she'd observed in his behaviour, his defensiveness and his desperate need to dominate, unable to keep herself from wondering if it was related or not, if whatever had happened had sparked it, or if he'd been like that all along. It was only when she made the connection to the scars on his back and the story he told that anger slowly rose inside her. “She didn't do this, did she?”

He slowly shook his head, waving it off. “No, it were Alfonso's men. Ambushed meh. Fookin' left meh for dead.”

Her eyes rested on his, patient, inquisitive, waiting for an explanation because she didn't want to make any assumptions, she needed him to tell her more, tensing when she saw just how glossy his eyes were, watched him force his eyes to stay open, looking up slightly. “Fookin' told them all me secrets, didn't sheh?”

She was unsure if he was talking to her now, seemed to be recollecting the memories more to himself and she couldn't stand another second of it, no matter how much she wanted to know, the shock already sat so deep in her bones, reignited every time she thought about the knife scars on his back, her eyes fluttered down to see what seemed to be the last traces of a bullet wound on his shoulder blade, she refused to process it all, shifting forward in his lap and moving her hands to his shoulders as she adjusted her sitting position.

“But you're still here” she stated, her voice now calmer, quieter, barely audible over even the soft tune playing in the background, sultry, more seductive and she took his cigarette from him when it was all burnt down, crushing it in the ashtray.

“I want yeh, Jade.”

His slurred words, yet clear despite the booze were all the invitation she needed to continue, running her fingers through his hair again, grinding her hips forward into his, slowly. She was desperate now to distract him more than anything else, have him weak for her in all the right ways but couldn't help a shaky breath falling from her lips when his hands moved to her ass, squeezing it through the fabric of her dress, guiding her forward to roll her hips into his,

She kept her movements slow, yet eager, not teasing him the same way she had tried dancing, the appreciative hums she received in return only encouraging her, allowing him to guide her hips, her mind slowly starting to trail off when she felt him growing harder between her legs, adjusting the angle of her hips slightly to feel his bulge rub right against her clit when she gave another grind of her hips, the agonising friction eliciting soft moans from her lips, gasping shakily when she felt his head resting against her chest, pillowed by the softness of her breasts pushed up in her tight dress, felt his shallow breath against her skin.

The more he gave her, the more eager she grew, all those memories rushing back of how it'd felt having him inside her and she ached for his cock to satiate that desperate need, the stretch of her tight walls around him, drawing him in, hearing his moans, and now she was going to take control of it.

She shifted backwards, his sigh that could only be read as disappointed satisfying her immensely and he was ready to stop her until he realised what she was doing, leaning back when he saw that she was undoing his belt buckle, undid his button and drawing down his zipper, pulling out his cock, the shudder that went through his body had her wanting to drop to her knees and worship him, pull him back into the here and now and out of the past, desperate to be the only thing on his mind.

“Fookin'ell...” he muttered under his breath, his eyes still fixated on her face as she started to pump him slowly, her fingers wrapped tightly around him, speed increasing gradually, her thumb toying with his tip, spreading his precum down his shaft to start stroking him faster.

“Is this okay?” She asked quietly, part of her wanting to tease him, but she still needed to know that she was doing the right thing.

“Fookin' … tha's not wha' I brought yeh 'ere for...” he grunted, his hair in his eyes as he looked up at her, the intensity of his gaze locked on hers undeniably needy despite. “Fookin' c'mere...”

“Don't you ever get tired of being so demanding?” She coaxed, pushing her dress up as far as she could until it was hitched up around her waist and she moved her thong to the side, positioning herself above him as she shifted closer to him, despite her teasing she was still cautious, worried that if she didn't do as he said or teased him too long, the opportunity would be gone, he'd take over or even change his mind – and she couldn't bear the thought, had learned from experience.

He watched her lift her body as she situated herself above him, giving his cock a few more tugs, drawing more moans from him that he now had trouble suppressing, so eager to feel the stretch of her heat around his cock, to draw him in and make him forget all the things he couldn't bear wrapping his drunken mind around. “Fookin' sit down on me- … fook, fook, Jade...”

She threw her head back as she sank down on him, a haze of pleasure enveloping her mind, she was incapable of thinking straight, thinking anything, even the fact that she was on top of him didn't matter because despite it all, he had all the control, his hands firmly squeezing her ass before moving to her hips to force her down on him all the way, his cock filling her completely, the burning sensation bringing tears to her eyes and she squeezed them shut, her breathing heavy.

“Fookin' look at meh” he demanded, breathing out shakily when she forced her eyes open and locked his gaze, the pleasure on his face alone almost enough to send her over the edge.

He was desperate for something, anything to take the edge off, no matter if it meant her being on top of him and his hands gripped her hips tightly, guiding them as she rolled them into his, his bottom lip trapped between his teeth.

She moved her hands to his shoulders to hold herself up, gather some kind of leverage as she slowly started lifting her hips, then lowering herself down on him again, the continuous stretch his cock offered, the pain morphing into pleasure each time she thought he would be too much to take before she almost burst out into a stream of gratefulness like last time too much to handle, the power she had on him, the way she was able to at least influence the pace of his cock slamming into her somehow with his hands locked on her waist sending her into a frenzy of pleasure and satisfaction.

Alex was trying desperately to hold himself together, to suppress his moans that would have instantly given away just how needy he was, his fingers tense, clinging to her waist as he tried to move her the way he pleased, feeling her nails dig into his skin as she held herself up, bouncing in his lap in a way he never would have imagined.

“Enjoyin' this, aren't yeh?” He drawled, looking up at her, unable to leave that hint of a smile that played around her lips uncommented, the bliss, the joy in her eyes making his heart race.

She moaned as he forced her down on him again, the deep tone of his voice only making her wetter, a satisfied chuckle rumbling from his chest. “F-Fuck...” she whimpered as his hard cock filled her once again, pulsing, stretching, making her see stars with how hard he pushed inside her. “Y-You have no idea...” She moaned, letting out a shaky laugh.

The genuine joy that spread across her face, the sound he drew from her with just his teasing, it fuelled him, made him feel warmer and he groaned, his eyes threatening to flutter shut when she began picking up the pace again, her hips rolling into his over and over again, his cock filling her at different angles and he was having trouble holding on. “D-Dun't yeh get used to it...”

Sweat was beginning to collect at his collarbones, close to his chain, his hair sweaty and she stroked it back, desperate to see his eyes, the intimidation she was used to now something she craved, the intensity making the way their bodies were moving together, so in sync, so naturally so much more than his words suggested and he leaned into her touch, swallowing hard, his jaw stretching, nose shiny with sweat and started clutching at the material of her dress. “Fookin' take this off, pupa...”

She breathed out, only realising now how hot she was and she brushed back her own hair, gathering fists full of her dress when he let go of her and she leaned back, pulling her dress up slightly and shimmying out of it, sighing with relief when she drew it over her head and dropped it on the ground, setting her breasts free.

Alex's movements slowed, his eyes growing wider, lips parted, hands coming down instantly on her hips again, the tight grip restricting the movement she was about to pick up again, lowering her body again and looking at him with confusion, her hair now in soft waves, falling over her shoulders, her smooth skin shiny with sweat.

“Alexander...” she mumbled in an attempt to snap him out of whatever had gotten the best of his mind again, once again attempting to move.

“F-Fuck, Jade...” he drawled, looking back at her, the way he held her down now making her struggle cease.

“What?” She asked, instantly worried she'd fucked up, had thrown out everything this chance presented, had once again done something wrong.

He swallowed hard, his eyes trailing from the flawless curve of her hips to her breasts, then they snapped right back up to lock her eyes, jaw locked and tense, his lip stretching slightly. “Yeh're beau'iful.”

Her breath hitched in her throat, her own eyes growing bigger, the fear that flickered over his face when the words had rushed out enough for her to not comment on the sentiment, her hands moving to his on her hips to loosen the grip of his warm fingers pressed to her skin so she could move again, distract him while she knew she was never going to distract herself from the words he'd just let slip, having heard them so many times from many different people, knew herself that they were true but the way he drawled them, purely due to a lack of self-control, it made her aware of just how much she craved his validation, felt attracted to him beyond his power, her confidence built up tenfold.

He'd for a brief moment been prepared for her to respond, to mock him, to get back at him for all the times he'd degraded her, but when she just started moving again, he felt his authority reignited, stretching his hand before reaching to wrap his fingers around her throat, forcing her to look right back at him.

She gasped, the panic in her eyes instantly replaced with lust, a rush of wetness between her legs coating his cock, his eyes wild. “Fook yehrself on meh, pupa...” he drawled. “Tha's reyht, take me cock, yess...”

“Mmmmm...” she hummed, pushing her bottom lip forward, the sultry look irresistible. “Do you like me on top of you?” She coaxed.

He was focused on watching all of her now, her wide eyes, soft lips parted, the way she had trouble holding on to his shoulders with the way his hand was wrapped securely around her throat, the way her walls fluttered, she covered his cock with her juices, got wetter as he took ownership of her again, writhing in his lap.

She started fucking herself harder on his cock, as hard as she could, chasing that painful pleasure she'd been aching for for the last three days, knowing it wouldn't take much more for her to let go.

“Are yeh gunna cum for meh, Jade?” He drawled. “Yehr cunt's joost desperate teh come 'round me cock, innit?”

She whimpered, the way he filled her over and over again making it impossible to hold on and she gripped on harder to his shoulders, desperate for leverage, struggling to breathe evenly as her chest rose and fell.

He watched her breasts bounce, so focused on her every move that it was hard not to get lost in her, the way her body curved into his, desperate to accommodate to his size, to his every word, desperate to please him, he squeezed her neck as he finally let go when she sank down on him again, his cock filling her all the way, twitching inside her and he coated her walls with his release. “Fookin' cum...” he grunted, his breath heavy, sweat glistening on his forehead and he nearly came a second time as he watched her writhe in his lap.

His words fuelled her, had her gasp out with relief and she whimpered as her walls melted around his cock, squeezing around him over and over again, the burn sending shocks of pleasure up her body and she cried out desperately at the way he held her down, forced her to take it all as he was buried deep inside her, her whole body shaking, almost falling forward but he held her in place despite the strain of the muscles in his arm, his own breathing heavy, his body tense and glistening with sweat, eyes locked on hers as they both panted out their orgasms, breaths shaking, chests rising and falling.

It was like for a brief moment, a realisation hit him and she swallowed, using the second the grip of his hand loosened around her throat to push herself off him, climbing off his lap and biting her lip, unable to suppress the whimper that left her lips when his cock slipped out of her, leaving an ache of need and emptiness inside her that already had her desperate to have him fill her again, her knees too weak to stand up straight away and she allowed herself to lay back for a moment, tensing slightly when he kicked off his trousers before shuffling to lie back as well, yet no further attempt to move, no snarky comment, just his own panting filling the room alongside hers, the record having stopped playing now.

She stared up at the ceiling, cautious to not breathe too loudly, to catch her breath and get her heartbeat to slow down to the point where she could get up and put her dress back on without him saying anything first, after this she wasn't ready for him to degrade her because she wasn't gone yet even though he was done with her.

After a few moments of silence, she realised his breath had slowed as well, turned her head just slightly and saw his eyes were closed now from the corner of her eye and she rolled carefully off the bed to not shift the mattress too much and stir him, tiptoeing around the bed to pick up her dress and pulling it quickly over her head, needing a few moments because her skin was still slick with sweat, despite the cool air now spinning from the ceiling fan and she started feeling his release leak out of her and run down her warm skin.

She grabbed her bag, took another look at him before turning, but freezing in her step when she heard his deep voice cut through the silence, quiet, barely audible, but enough to make her turn around. “Jade?”

She swallowed, wondering if maybe he'd just go back to sleep, because he'd regret this anyway, it might be better to just leave, but his eyes fluttered open, his forehead creasing as he tried to focus. “Where are yeh goin'?” He mumbled, slurring his words more than before, his voice thick with sleep and he moved onto his side, his arm extended out on the space of the bed where she'd been moments ago.

She parted her lips, went to say something, but she couldn't find the words, her body shaking slightly. Before she managed to settle for something suitable, there was another mumble, quiet, yet demanding, his tone too tentative to be an order, yet harder to deny than any demand he'd ever given her.

“Dun't leave meh alone.”

She stood still for a moment, debating herself in her head on what to do, her heart skipping a beat when he spoke again, quiet, hardly audible.

“Please.”

She approached him again, saw only now the look in his glossy eyes, tired, desperate, and she moved to lie back down, going against everything her gut feeling told her to do.

“Take tha' off.” He gestured vaguely to her dress and she took a deep breath, pulling her dress back over her head, confused for a moment because she was sure he was in no state to go again, but kicked off her heels, shuffling to lie back down, her heart starting to race when his arm snaked around her instantly.

“Didn't fookin' say yeh could go...” he muttered, unsure what he'd said before, well-aware it must have been something inappropriate, desperate now to reinstate his dominance, the buzz now having really gotten to his head, it was all too much to keep up with and he rested his face against her neck, his hand coming up to rest on her breast, absent, barely aware, yet possessive, leaving no doubt that he didn't plan on moving anytime soon.

She tried to settle comfortably, come to terms with the shock she'd just suffered, but couldn't help the calm that washed over her body, the warmth of his skin against hers, half resting on top of her, she allowed herself to move and shift until she was able to relax as well.

“Are you sure-...” she whispered, a quiet grumble against her skin cutting her off.

“Fookin' sure...” he drawled, his voice merely a mumble, nothing coherent. “Yeh're me girl now.”

“W-What?” She stuttered, sure that now she really hadn't heard him right.

He let out a quiet sigh, his body heavier on her, no doubt he was drifting off to sleep. “Yeh're me girl.”

[claitynroberts]

Ig-Pay Atin-Lay

Summary: The exorcism falls to y/n during a hunt (her first one ever), however, a miscommunication causes the event to go awry when she recites the incantation in Pig Latin

A/N: This came to me the other day and I cackled so loud I scared the students working in my Library! I hope I was able to do it justice!

Special thanks to @couldabeenamermaid for beta’ing for me! Your reactions always make me happy! (Direct Quote: “Hahahahahahahahahaha!”)

Written for: @spngenrebingo

Square Filled: “First Time”

Warnings: None really, canon level violence. Crack.

Word Count: 2,625

“Hey, Y/n,” Dean’s voice cut through her reverie. The three of them were in the Impala riding down some two-lane road, the blustery wind causing the black car to drift over the line whenever a strong gust hit her broadside.

“Hmm?” She responded, letting him know she had heard him as she was flipping through the lore book on Demons and Demon kind.

“Can you read Latin?” He asked, his eyes punctuating his question in the rear view mirror.

“Latin? Yeah, I can read it. I can speak it, too.” She sent him an incredulous look and went back to her book.

“Really?” Sam asked, half turning to look over the back of the front bench seat at her.

“Yeeeaah… Can’t most hunters?”

Sam’s mouth pulled down in a noncommittal look of ‘meh’ as he bobbled his head back and forth in a ‘so-so’ motion. “I mean, I guess it’s more common than not.” He shrugged. A few minutes later he was rummaging through a small notebook he kept with him. It contained thoughts, hunches, and things that did and did not work when it came to their line of work. He always preferred to write things down, at least if it didn’t help him it may benefit someone else later on.

He ripped a page from the back, then slung his arm over the seat-back offering it to y/n. She looked at his proffered hand, and took the paper from between his fingers. Flipping it over she glanced down at it. “What’s this?” She asked, her brows furrowing.

“It’s the Latin and English translations of a basic exorcism. Dean and I know it, and we thought it may be handy if you memorized it, too. Especially with the case we’ve got.”

“Yeah,” Dean piped up, “A black-eyed bitch who likes to prey on unsuspecting couples and play with the guy while making his girl watch?” His eyebrows had quirked up to his hairline in the mirror again, his tongue licking his bottom lip between his teeth quickly as he glanced at Y/n’s reflection. “Better safe than sorry. There’s no telling what could go down.”

Their rag-tag team had successfully found and saved the latest victims earlier that afternoon, and twenty minutes later, y/n and the boys had pulled up to the derelict house said to be the location of the deaths and disappearances. The house was weathered grey with flakes of white and green paint still clinging desperately to the siding and shutters. Shingles and pieces of the roof had either been blown away or had caved in from the roof, and the front porch was a labyrinth of dangerously molded and rotten boards.

Inside the remaining furniture had sagged to the floor or simply fall apart. Dust covered every inch of flat space, and cobwebs hung from the remnants of the ceiling. The whole property was remniscent of a haunted house from one of those cheap Hollywood thrillers from the eighties. Dean began shoving the rubble aside, as Sam dug through the supply bag for a can of spray paint. A canister of salt was shoved into y/n’s hands as Dean retrieved his own and ordered her to begin salting the windows and doors.

She had been reciting the exorcism incantation under her breath as she went about her appointed duties. When everything was readied, and each hunter had some form of weapon, Dean called out, riling up the demon. Minutes passed, and Dean provoked it once more using language coarse enough to cause even Sam’s face to tinge red.

Everything happened in a blur. A young woman with milky white skin and flame red hair flickered into appearance right in the middle of the pentagram. Windows and doors were flung shut, and anything not bolted down was thrown back against the wall effectively out of the demon’s way.

Cackling she turned to look between y/n and the Winchesters. “Oh, a ménage á trois,” she squealed, “How scandalously delicious!” She clapped her hands together in glee, recognition dawning as she realized just who these men were. “And with the Winchesters, no less. Boy am I going to have some fun with you two.” Her grin turning maniacal.

She began to pace toward Sam, the paint on the floor stopping her as she neared the edge of the circle. She let out a scream of frustration, her fists thumping against the invisible barrier in futility. “Not fair!” Her eyes flashed black and a growl erupted from her chest as she flung out her hand and Sam became airborn.

Sam landed against the wall, an oomph! And a groan leaving him as his head gave a solid thump after making contact with the dry-rotted plaster and lumber. The force knocked him out cold, and he was now laying in a crumpled heap at the base of the wall, the demon knife falling from his grip and skidding across the dusty floorboards.

The demon had Dean pinned against the railing of the staircase, force choking him and pulling him off the ground much like Darth Vader. He kicked his feet and stretched his legs trying to make contact with something in order to relieve the pressure, his hands scrambling at his neck, trying to get a purchase on the invisible force. Y/n watched on in horror from the opposite side of the room where she had been magically pinned to the ground kneeling.

“Y/n!” He managed to gasp out around the crushing of his windpipe. Her attention snapped to him. “La-tin,” he coughed. His mouth falling open in a futile attempt to draw breath.

Right! She thought, of course. The exorcism.

She took a deep breath preparing herself for the moment the demon cut off her air supply as well. Y/n just hoped it may distract the woman long enough to allow her power over Dean to falter so he could finish the incantation. She cast around in her brain, searching for the words Sam had presented her with just before they arrived.

Latching onto the first couple that came to her mind, she began, her voice uncertain and quiet. “E-way exor-yay-ise-cay ou-yay, every-way impure-yay irits-pay,” y/n’s voice crescendoed as the words came back to her, “every-way atanic-say ower-pay, every-way incursion-ay of-yay e-thay infernal-yay evil-day.”

The demon’s head began to turn toward y/n, her attention on Dean lost for the moment. An amused smile lighting her gruesomely beautiful features as she took in what was happening. The demon loosened her hold on Dean’s throat allowing him to breathe properly, though his mouth still hung agape, confusion creasing his features.

“No, y/n!” he coughed. “Latin! Like actual Latin!”

Y/n’s voice ringing in her own ears caused Dean’s to fade to the background. “Every-way ongregation-cay and-yay iabolical-day ect-say, erefore-thay ou-yay also-way ursed-cay ragon-day.” She persisted.

“Oh honey, you are too Ute-cay!” The demon squealed in delight. “You’ll definitely be the last one I kill.” She chuckled as she turned back to Dean where he was knelt on the floor. “Your girlfriend is adorable! Too bad I have to kill you.” She shrugged as she raised her hand to blast him.

“O-say at-thay our-yay urch-chay an-cay erve-say ee-thay,” the Demon’s face began to flash in quick succession between her real appearance and the meat-suit she was wearing. A confused look crossing her features as Dean looked at her bewildered.

“What the hell?” She barked as she began to convulse, black smoke slipping out of the vessel’s nose and mouth. She whirled around, leveling her gaze on y/n. “How,” she coughed, “is this working?” She screamed in annoyance.

The demon threw her power at y/n, knocking her to the side. Her head smacked against the floor, but she groaned through the pain, never letting up on the incantation. “In-yay ecure-say iberty-lay, e-way eseech-bay ee-thay...”

“Y/n!” Dean’s voice was drowned out by the demon’s screaming.

She was poised for another attack, smoke still trickling from her face as y/n kept on, Dean watching in horror.

“As-yay e-way ray-pay…”

The demon unleashed one last attack, blowing y/n into the wall behind her as the demon turned back to the hunter.

“Ear-hay us-yay!” Y/n bellowed to the heavens as she crashed into the wall. The force knocking the rubble down around her and burying her in dust and plaster.

“Aaaarrrgghhhh!” The demon’s head snapped back as a torrent of black smoke and goo was unleashed from the meat-suit’s mouth. Once the abominable force had disappeared through the window, the poor woman left behind dropped to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

Dean sat there for long moments, bewilderment and amazement swirling together in his mind.

“Dean?” Sammy’s voice broke him from his consternation.

“Sam,” he walked over to his brother, “You okay man?”

He groaned as he sat up, rubbing the crown of his head. “Yeah, I think so. Maybe a minor concussion,” he mumbled as he felt the goose egg that had sprung up. Another groan slipped from him as he stood. “And a few bruised ribs.” He looked over his brother. “You okay?” He asked, concerned. “Where’s y/n?”

“Shit, Y/n!” Dean jogged over to the other side of the room. The two hunters began moving pieces of the rubble that had fallen on top of the young woman, unearthing her rather quickly. Dust coated her body, her hair gray from the fine particles, and blood trickling from a cut at her right temple as well as the left side of her nose.

“Y/n?!” Dean questioned frantically, taking in the state of her as he lightly tapped his fingers against her cheek. Sam had grabbed her hand and was performing the same motion. “Please, be alright,��� Dean whispered, his thumb rubbing lightly against her cheekbone.

A cough and a groan left her as she blinked the debris from her eyes. “Owwwwww…” As her vision came into focus, y/n saw Dean crouched over her, the worried look on his face morphing into one of hopefulness. “Dean, what happened? Did it work?” She tried to sit up, but dizziness washed over her. Sam and Dean pulled her into a sitting position, with Dean arranging himself so he was knelt on one knee, the other bent at a ninety degree angle in front of him as he settled y/n’s back against it.

“Y/n how do you feel?” Sam asked as he ghosted deft fingers over her joints looking for breaks.

“I’m okay, just dirty and bruised as usual.” She groaned.

“What’s your full name?” Dean asked.

She glanced up at the green-eyed hunter, “What? You know my name, Dean.”

He waved her question away with a flick of his wrist. “Just humor me, will ya?”

Rolling her eyes she answered his question. “I’m y/n y/mn y/ln. I’m y/age years old and I’m a hunter. You two are Sam and Dean Winchester, also hunters, and the biggest pair of mother hens I’ve ever met.”

“Do you feel dizzy? Nauseous? Is there any ringing in y—.”

“Sam Winchester, I am fine! Quit hounding me.” Y/n glared at the taller brother.

He threw up his hands in a placating signal. “Sorry, Sorry, just making sure you don’t have a concussion.”

“Maybe a minor one, but I’ll be okay.” She waved him off and turned her attention back to Dean. “The demon? Did it work?”

“Uhhh...y-yeah, it worked.” He chuckled before looking at her, “Surprisingly.”

“Surprisingly? Dean, we’ve used that incantation before,” Sam stated. “It’s foolproof.”

A laugh bubbled up from Dean’s chest. “Well maybe not the way y/n performed it.” He recalled the scene, and mirth began to spill out of him now that the danger had passed.

Her brow furrowed and she looked at Dean confused. “What? Did I get a word wrong or something? Latin can be kinda hard…”

Dean laughter quickly turned to full blown guffawing as Sam and y/n shared confused looks. The longer his fit of belly laughing continued, the more they became worried about the eldest hunter.

A voice groaned from behind them. All three hunters turned toward the new voice, Dean’s laughter subsiding quickly at the possibility of another threat. The young woman the demon had been possessing had woken up, apparently not too worse for wear. “Seriously?” She looked over at y/n, incredulity burning in her eyes and disbelief edging every feature as she pulled herself into a sitting position. “Pig Latin?”

The term set Dean off again, as understanding passed over Sam’s face. Y/n was still confused, and was looking between the hysterical older brother, the former meat-suit, and the young academic looking for some answers. “Wh-what? Is there another kind of Latin?” She asked innocently, looking to the young man with the chestnut mane. Dean’s side was now in stitches, and Sam was pinching the bridge of his nose.

“S...so let me get this straight,” Sam said, using his pointer finger to put the events of the evening in order. “Dean asked you if you could speak Latin, you said yes, then I gave you a copy of the incantation?” He ended the statement in a questioning tone, waiting for y/n to confirm it was true.

She gulped. “Yes.”

“Then, instead of memorizing the Latin translation you memorized the English. And while I was unconscious, with Dean apparently out of commission as well, you decided to chant the English version? In Pig Latin?” The disbelief was evident on his chiseled face.

Another gulp, another mumbled ‘yes’.

“And it worked?” His brows were knitted together in confusion, as he looked to his brother for confirmation. Dean had folded his lips between his teeth to calm the joy he felt at the hilarity of the situation, nodding his head as sagely as possible.

“Apparently…” Y/n lifted a shoulder in a half shrug.

Sam’s mouth hung open much like a fish out of water, his mind working through every possible reason it shouldn't have worked. All through the clean up process and the trek back to the motel, Sam’s mind was spinning, his brows pulled down so far over his eyes they nearly disappeared.

Y/n had slipped in the door to the room first, leaving the boys to trail behind. Dean had stopped in the doorway as he reached it, looking back to his brother and clapping him on the shoulder to bring him out of his reverie. “Hey Sam, let’s, uh—let’s give it some time. Y’know, before we start teasing her.” He waved absentmindedly toward the door behind him indicating just who he was talking as if his brother had forgotten.

“I, uh—yeah, agreed.” Sam looked at his brother to see the thinly veiled affection he harbored for y/n. “I just can’t figure out how it worked.” The night’s events confusing him the more he thought about it.

“Y’know, me neither.” Dean smirked. “Maybe it was a miracle from Chuck, maybe it was a fluke.” He shrugged as he turned back toward the room, glancing at his brother as Sam followed him inside, shutting and locking the door behind them. “Either way, let’s just chalk it up as a win, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Sam agreed as he pulled a beer from the mini fridge. He flopped down in the tattered chair by the door, heaving a befuddled sign as he yanked the cap off. Bubbling the cool liquid a few times he plopped the bottle against his thigh, bracing it with the force of his arm. “Pig Latin,” he mumbled as his head plunked against the wall behind him. After a moment a baffled snort escaped him. “Who woulda thought.”

Tags: @speakinvain @katsanders @shamelesslydean @thekatherinewinchester @stusbunker @couldabeenamermaid @pisces-cutie @mzbones108

[chriswritesthings]

Generation Zero offers a great world to shoot in, but is technically flawed

Originally uploaded to MSPoweruser.com

Just Cause and Mad Max creators Avalanche Studios have been busier this past year than I think they’ve ever been. Just Cause 4, the upcoming Rage 2 and the just-released Generation Zero is a rather large line-up for one studio. But are all of these games of quality, or are they hindered by a spread workload?

Set in 1980’s Sweden, shortly after the fall of the Berlin Wall, Cold War tensions are at their peak. You play as a nameless 18 or 19-year-old in your first semester of university, the threat of thermonuclear annihilation constantly looming in the back of your head. It’s decided that a camping trip is a good idea, as a getaway, and your friend decides that a small island just off the coast is a great locale.

You grab a couple of coolers—for a cheeky bevy with the boys—and food before setting off. On your return, you get shot out of the water, have to swim to shore, discover that everyone has been murdered and that there are machines roaming the wilderness that are out for blood, and you and your friends are left to piece together the events of the last few days while attempting to avoid heavily armoured death, probably all while hungover.

This is the premise of Avalanche’s first foray into a co-op first-person action shooter since theHunter: Primal. At its base level, it feels like an amalgamation of Fallout and Far Cry with a sprinkling of Horizon: Zero Dawn.

However, before you can begin roleplaying your Swedish Rambo fantasies you must first create your character through a fairly rudimentary creation suite. It offers eight pre-set 80s stereotypes to build upon with gender options, face shape and skin tone. We’re not talking Black Desert Online levels of character customisation, but enough to give the player a distinct look from their allies.

Generation Zero starts out solidly, prompting you as soon as you make landfall to find a weapon and some first aid kids in the nearby buildings. There’s ammo in a police car parked on the road—sorted. Not long after you’re introduced to the games’ basic enemy machine, the runner. Fast and deadly, they pose a challenge from the get-go and don’t get much easier as the player progresses. Physically, they look like robot dogs or wolves with a fuel tank and a machine gun strapped to its back. Once these machines are dispatched, the game points you in the vague direction of the nearest settlement that might have people in it at one point and lets you off the leash.

It’s certainly not a game that will hold you hand or tell you where every objective and enemy is. The in-game compass functions purely as a compass, it always points north. It won’t tell you where objectives are, there won’t be a red dot highlighting nearby enemies, it just points north. Enemy detection is only signalled by two things: actual sound and a shotgun mic style detection meter.

This would be great if it wasn’t for the fact that both sound and detection are broken. This much becomes abundantly clear when you go into the first underground location you come across. While inside you’ll constantly have a detection bar even if you’ve cleared the entire building of enemies if you walk or sprint—not because enemies are down there with you, but because they’re above ground and can apparently hear you down there. The second time it becomes noticeable is when trying to sneak past a patrol. If they get too close, even moving while crouched will raise their awareness forcing the player to either sit perfectly still or attempt to engage them hope the entirety of Sweden doesn’t come running.

It’s unfortunate that Generation Zero is consistently marred with technical issues, all of which seem entirely unpredictable. For example, being downed and then reviving too quickly may make the player unable to sprint at full speed. The next time this happens, the same set of actions may have no effect. Machines locked in steel containers can seemingly warp out of them at will, and then there’s whatever this 28-second clip of nonsense is.

Despite its many, many flaws, I wouldn’t say that Generation Zero is a bad game. From the moody nightime lighting to the midnight thunderstorms followed by dense fog, its world is dripping in a thick, dripping atmosphere. The morning god rays and autumnal leaves are a definitive pep-up after a brutal firefight. Much like their previous games, Avalanche really does know how to sell a world.

All of this is backed by an 80s soundtrack that fits so beautifully to the design of the machines and the world they inhabit. The game is true for the player character who feels as weighty as their firearms, all of which have great audio-visual feedback. Encompassed in a story about a sudden invasion and a missing populace, never meeting a living NPC, interacting with hastily written notes and skittish recordings—it’s a unique and mystical world trapped in a rugged game.

Generation Zero is a game propelled by its ability to be played with a group of friends. While its technical systems may be flawed, its world and mechanics are still engaging enough for fun-times-with-mates. Once you get into the groove, you’ll find amazing atmosphere, story, and a rocking OST. You’ll also discover busted mechanics, flawed AI and bugs crawling out of every corner.

7/10

Pros:

Weighty combat

Incredible visuals

Stunning audio

Cons:

Sub-par AI

Flawed detection system

Mehs:

Inventory management can be sluggish

[neraawritesxx]

Orange Daisies

naruto couples event - day 3

prompt: first pairing you ever shipped // first date pairing: naruto x sakura genre: romance // humor  word count: 2,147

summary: “Naruto…,” she began, cautiously. “What are you wearing?”

author’s note: Whenever I think of this pairing, I can’t help but think that they would probably have the most awkward first date in the history of first dates because Naruto is too much of an innocent goofball to get it right on the first try. I threw this together in about an hour so I apologize for the choppiness, but meh, I tried. I hope you enjoy it either way!

“Would you sit still?” Ino chided, yanking on a strand of pink hair in reprimand.

“Ow! Lay off Pig!” Sakura hissed, jerking forward in an attempt to break free from the hand tangled in the hair at the nape of her neck.

When her actions earned her another sharp tug, Sakura gritted her teeth but stilled her struggles. Ino, satisfied now that her subject was no longer looking to escape, eased her hold.

“Remind me again why I asked you to help me with this?” Sakura grumbled, grimacing as she felt a bobby pin scrape against her scalp.

The blonde was too invested in her task to answer right away, and the rosette’s whine fell on deaf ears.

Sakura settled a glare at her reflection in the mirror, fixing sharp emerald eyes on the head of golden hair that poked out from behind her.

There was a sudden movement in her peripheral vision and Sakura watched in the reflective surface as Ino’s hand reached over her shoulder, blindly grasping for the pile of hair clips that resided on the vanity top.

Sakura fought down the sudden, childish urge to turn her head and snap her teeth at the offending appendage. Though it would serve Ino right for manhandling her in such a way, it really wasn’t worth hearing the Yamanaka heiress wail after the potential mauling.

The blond clicked her tongue, seeming to struggle with getting the last pin into place. There were a few more tugs, then a violent, tight twist of coral tresses before Ino stepped back, a broad grin plastered on her face.

Cerulean hues studied the back of Sakura’s head appreciatively and the pinkette could swear that she could feel the smug satisfaction rolling off of Ino.

“You’re all finished Forehead. Go on. Admire my handiwork,” The fair-haired woman commanded. “And to answer your earlier question, you asked for my help because I’m the only one capable of taming this unruly mop of yours.”

Begrudgingly, Sakura had to agree.

Turning her head from side to side, Sakura took in all the details that Ino had put into her hairdo. Her best friend managed to sweep her pink locks into an intricate french twist, braiding some of the longer strands around the crown of her head and pulling them back into the knot of hair at the base of her skull. Her bangs fell loose and free, parted so that they framed both sides of her face.

“Not bad, Ino-pig,” Sakura complimented softly. “Not bad at all.”

“I know,” Ino replied cheekily. “Now hurry up and go get dressed.”

Grabbing ahold of Sakura’s arm, the blonde dragged her towards the closet, ushering her inside.

“And don’t you mess up all my hard work in the process!” She added as an afterthought.

-o-

Sakura couldn’t place the exact moment when their relationship changed.

It was well known throughout Konoha that Team Seven was more a family than anything else.

The bonds they formed were deeply rooted, uniquely their own. Solidified by trials filled with betrayal, blood, and tears.

They were a genin team of misfits; an avenger, an orphan, and a girl with a broad forehead and no kekkei genkai.

Team Seven was destined to fail; they had far too many obstacles to overcome.

But despite what others had to say, nothing ever stopped them.

Through prolonged absences, countless battles, a war, and a teammate’s defection and eventual return, Team Seven strove forward together, defying all the odds that were stacked against them.

And through all this, through the ups and downs and all those crucial moments in their lives, Sakura had only one person who she could say she could undoubtedly rely on.

Naruto.

When he first left the village, she didn’t have time to focus on the void – the ache – that came as a result of his absence. She needed to get stronger for him and the others.

So, she trained, and broke, and bled, and cried, but she looked at all those obstacles and promptly told them to ‘fuck off’, starting herself down a path that helped her grow up.

Despite all the progress she made individually, however, the day Naruto returned to Konoha, Sakura realized just how much she missed him. A weight she hadn’t known she was carrying was lifted from her shoulders and with it gone she could finally – finally – breathe again.

All of those years Naruto spent childishly comparing himself to Sasuke and all the times she felt insignificant in comparison to her teammates didn’t seem to matter anymore.

They changed, they had grown, and now they were finally together again.

Nothing was going to change that.

She became his rock and he became hers.

-o-

A while later, Sakura stood in front of the full-length mirror which resided on the back of her bedroom door.

Pivoting on the balls of her feet, the pinkette spun back and forth, trying to gauge her outfit from different angles. Unable to distinguish how she felt about it, Sakura turned towards Ino, holding up her arms gracelessly at her side.

“Well? What do you think?”

Ino, who was lying on her stomach perched on Sakura’s bed, idly flipping through a magazine, didn’t even spare Sakura a glance before she drawled her response, “It looks fine.”

“How would you know?” The med-nin huffed, arms crossing over her chest. “You didn’t even look!”

She received an unladylike snort in response while Ino turned another page, eyes beginning to skim another article.

“The last three outfits looked fine Sakura. Just pick one already,” Ino muttered.

Her best friend’s dismissal caused Sakura to puff out her cheeks in a pout.

Sighing, Sakura turned back to her reflection, cocking her head to the side as she took in the picture she presented.

Her final outfit choice had been a dark, lavender skater-style dress that flared around her hips and ended slightly past her knees. She paired the gown with a small, white cardigan. The color of the dress made the seal on her forehead stand out, popping with vivid color.

Overall, Sakura felt well put together. The hairstyle and the dress were not too fancy, but she was dolled up enough to make a good first impression over dinner.

Though, that might have been redundant at this point, seeing as who her date was.

“This will do,” Sakura confirmed with a bob of her head.

Meandering over to her closet, the petite woman began a search for suitable footwear.

“Where is Naruto taking you anyway?” Ino asked, her tone curious.

“I’m not really sure,” Sakura responded, walking back out into the main part of her bedroom. “He told me he wanted to surprise me. He’s been hush-hush about the whole thing.”

Ino glanced up from her light reading at the sound of her approach. Pale blue eyes regarded the smaller woman as Sakura held up two different pairs of shoes in silent question; a pair of sandals in one hand and a pair of flats in the other.

“The flats,” The blonde answered before looking back down at the magazine.

The room descended into silence then and Sakura began to fret over some last-minute touch-ups to her make-up while Ino continued to read.

After a minute or two, Sakura heard her best friend gasp and paused in applying in her mascara, turning towards her bed with a raised brow.

“What’s wrong?”

Ino was now kneeling on the mattress, looking at Sakura with her face contorted in pure horror.

“You don’t think…” The words seemed to die on Ino’s tongue as she hesitated.

Swallowing thickly before she continued, Ino asked in a deadly serious tone, “You don’t think he’s going to wear something orange, do you?”

-o-

It dawned on her one day; slamming into her with its suddenness and spontaneity.

It – everything – just instantly made so much sense and the clarity of it left her breathless.

There she stood, frozen in the middle of the doorway to his hospital room, looking at him like it was the first time she had ever laid eyes on him.

Naruto, unaware of her sudden internal epiphany, greeted her with his usual cheery demeanor before rattling off his reason for being in the hospital.

But Sakura just stared, then blinked, and stared some more.

Something shifted within her and the question was already out of her mouth before her brain could even formulate what she was asking.

“After all these years, why haven’t you asked me out on a date?”

Naruto’s initial response was the unhinging of his jaw, an embarrassed flush crawling its way up from his neck and dusting across his sun-kissed cheeks.

Cerulean eyes were wide as he regarded her, and for a bated breath, they both froze. Then, he suddenly began stumbling over his words, trying to come up with a viable excuse as to why, in fact, had not asked her out; as if it was actually his fault they had never been on a date before.

Mind suddenly reeling as she finally pieced together what she had blurted out, Sakura turned three different shades of red before fleeing from the room on limbs that felt like jelly.

She didn’t make it very far before he caught up with her.

The hand on her forearm was clammy, but the fingers against her skin were firm as he halted her movements.

His scent enveloped her; the smell of sandalwood and spice and ramen and it was so distinctly Naruto that it caused butterflies to erupt in her stomach.

What he said next, caused those butterflies to increase tenfold.

“We could…we could change that if you like.”

-o-

After Ino said her goodbyes, Sakura decided to wait out the remaining time in her living room, perusing through some medical scrolls to keep herself occupied.

More often than not, green eyes would stray from the words on the page to look at the clock mounted on the wall across from her position on the couch.

The closer the hands drew towards their appointed meeting time, the more uncomfortable Sakura seemed to become.

Five minutes before her date was supposed to arrive, Sakura was as stiff as a board, shoulders hunched towards her ears and fingers awkwardly fiddling with the edge of the paper she was holding.

What the hell was she nervous about?

It was just Naruto.

Her awkward, loud, obnoxiously cheerful teammate who had somehow wormed his way into her heart even though he still ran throughout the village pulling childish pranks at the age of nineteen.

They had known each other for years; there was nothing she should be worrying about.

Though her mind rationalized that everything was going to be okay, that she had been on plenty of dates before and this was nothing new, Sakura’s stomach still bottomed out when she heard the small, tentative knock on her front door.

Immediately, she tensed and only after a second knock echoed throughout her apartment did she finally manage to stand, scrambling towards the entryway.

Upon pulling it open, Sakura was greeted with a massive bouquet of daisies being thrust into her hands.

“Oh!” She gasped, awkwardly trying to situate the flowers in her grip so that she didn’t crush any of the buds.

Once she had a firm grasp on the stems, Sakura directed her gaze beyond the white blossoms and instantly froze.

Naruto looked sheepish; right arm crossed over his chest, slowly rubbing his left bicep.

“I hope you like them,” The words were out of his mouth so quickly, they were practically jumbled. “Ino said they were your favorite and she gave me discount…granted she did say that the discount was only in place as long as I didn’t mess this up. Otherwise, she was going to wring my neck with her bare hands and then charge me full price for the bouquet and wow…I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

He nervously chuckled at the end of his rant, blue eyes focusing on her face.

He took a slow, deep breath and said, “You look beautiful, Sakura-chan.”

Though his compliment was heartfelt, it didn’t immediately register with Sakura.

Veridian hues swam with confusion, and a small frown began to form between her eyebrows.

“Naruto…,” She began, cautiously. “What are you wearing?”

Her question must have caught him off guard because his spine seemed to straighten and the muscle in his jaw jumped.

Unsure how to proceed, Naruto looked down at himself, paused for a few brief moments, before he looked back towards Sakura with a small grimace.

“…Too much?”

By Sakura’s standards, yes, the three-piece suit – complete with a bright orange bowtie and matching lapel – was indeed, too much.

She immediately sent him home to change.

-o-

Though his fashion choices might have been questionable, Sakura wasn’t deterred from giving Naruto a kiss at the end of the night.

[hopelesstvaddict]

(SOME) VILE THOUGHTS ON THE VILE VILLAGE

At the exact middle of the season, A Series of Unfortunate Events suffers its first major loss and cements its step into darker territory. Sure the show never really shied away from killing off characters in various ways (yet elegantly never shown). After all, this is a series that started off with the deaths of two parents and has since killed off two guardians, one villain and another set of parents as well as one child. But Jacques' death hits and hurts in a way no death so far has and that's entirely thanks to his story, largely expanded from the book - really he was supposed to show up only in these two episodes (the first one only actually if we're to take the episode cliffhanger into account). But the show placed a winning bet on casting Fillion in a recurring role rather than a one-time guest star. By endearing him to viewers, they make sure to take them by the guts when the character bites the dust and they also provide treasured bread crumbs about VFD.

Of course, it does play with our emotions a lot. Book readers know in advance what's going to happen in the stories but the show has by now reached a point where deviations integrate well within the narrative and it absolutely nails the spirit of its original material by managing a frustratingly short but actual victory for VFD when Olivia and Jacques arrest Olaf. Once again, the device serves as exposition for VFD-related backstory, confirming what was hinted in earlier episodes. Olaf was once part of the organization himself. And he and Jacques know each other well and they were not always on bad terms. Putting this into perspective, what with his loathing Lemony's name in the first episode of the series, his school photograph from Prufrock, his mention of Beatrice and the fact that the Snicket and Baudelaire families were close, really paints the picture of a still nebulous drama - probably involving that sugar bowl Esme seems so bent on finding that she'd let prisoners escape for the sake of it.

That sugar bowl is now Olivia's role which makes sense. Her partnership with Jacques culminates in this episode as she fully embraces VFD (and him if we're to be absolutely honest) but it could not last since he was doomed from the beginning and she didn't exist in the first place. The whole sugar bowl story was never really developed in the books; that it falls to a character that didn't exist in the books is thus an evidence. With Jacques and Olivia gone, we're back with original VFD duo Jacquelyn and Larry to (try to) do the saving. It will be interesting to see if Olivia can manage on her own.

VFD fills more and more of these episodes and these two were full of it in particular as the titular town is integrated in the greater scheme of things. As opposed to a seemingly random red-herring in the books, it is revealed to have been once home to Larry and to some VFD members including Olaf and Georgina (a nice callback to the previous season in addition to references to Lumber Mills popping everywhere - way to build and establish your universe). The town inhabitants, however, have seemingly all gone to the bad side and they are as frustratinly infuriating as their book counterpart. In this, the adaptation is faithful - The Vile Village does not stand as one of the fans' favorites and the show had the difficult task to translate it to the screen faithfully while also maintaining and amping up the stakes (no pun intended). It does so with honors in some places but fails on others.

For starters, Olaf and Esme's personas were not among the best in this book. It is not either on the screen. If Officer Luciana gets a pass, Detective Dupin gets a mere meh. And while musical numbers were welcome when used sparsely, too much is too much and becomes unnecessary. No wonder Klaus' impatience start showing. In this, it is indeed necessary to highlight that Book!Klaus is very different than Show!Klaus as the latter is much more prone to voice his concern and frustration. It is a conscious choice but one that is emotionally consistent as Klaus visually acts as us viewers in being increasingly tired of the adults' idiocy. It is then a bit surprising that unlike their book counterparts, neither Klaus nor Violet end up fighting but perhaps that is for the best. The spotlight belongs to Sunny anyway, who literally drives a fire truck to save the day, um, the morning (making the Hook-Handed Man proud - a running gag apparently).

Speaking of which, cinematography and music are the strongest aspects of this adaptation. While the book didn't really specify the setting of the story, the visuals make the choice of giving a whole Far West-ish vibe that is not unwelcome and offers the loveliest palette of colors as dawn and sunset compete for the prettiest sets. Combined with smart clothing choices (Violet's pastel dress is her most beautiful yet), these two episodes also feature an original score that definitely stands out, interweaving both Mexican sounds and a recurring melancholic choir that accompanies the murder of crows on their way to Nevermore Tree, easily the most lyrical scene the show has offered yet. The second part counters this by opening at the lowest emotional level yet as Lemony quietly narrates his brother's death. It's the closest the show has gotten at making us feel absolutely despondent and distraught over the injustices that inhabit its universe.

But for all the dire situations the Baudelaires endured this episode, they have at long last achieved something positive. The Quagmires are safe with Hector (Ithamar Enriquez). At this point, it must be said that Enriquez was not necessarily what I had in mind for Hector but given the choices made for the themes underlining these episodes, it still works. (And it must be commended that thanks to the creative liberties it has taken, the show managed to make us fearful for Hector's life - even if it was for a few seconds). It is however just a bit disappointing that all of the VFD subplot meant that the actual literary content had to be squeezed a bit which meant that Hector ended up a bit less fleshed-out than his book counterpart was. The importance of the crows in the town is also toned down which makes the final scene just a bit less effective than what it was in the books. Similarly, we're skeptical of the blooming romance between the two sets of orphans. While Isadora and Klaus work well together, Violet and Duncan as a pair is more problematic - given that she fancies a major character in the next books. It remains to be seen how many more creative liberties can be taken before the show starts to definitely stray away from its source content.

[shadowsong26x]

Solo reaction post!

So, I saw Solo this afternoon--generally, I liked it! It was fun, it was engaging...

Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t perfect (I think, objectively, it was probably...not a great movie), but overall, especially given the production issues I know it had, it was a lot better than I was expecting?

Like--it was overall more like a string of good moments (mostly--there were a few I didn’t like) than a cohesive whole/movie. So, was it a good movie--like I said, objectively speaking, probably not. But I don’t care, I liked it a lot!

(Also, any of y’all who have seen it and/or read this without caring about spoilers, feel free to reply/reblog/interact/discuss/etc.!

More detailed review/ramble behind the cut.

So, like I said, I overall liked it, and I plan to focus on the positive. But I do want to get the stuff/moments I didn’t like out of the way first.

First--what I said above about the less-than-cohesive narrative. This made some of the pacing a little off. Some parts, especially in the beginning, did drag a little bit.

Second--and this is probably my biggest issue--I am not happy that they fridged Val. She was SO COOL and I wanted more with her and...yeah. Not...not really much else to say there other than Not Happy About That.

Third--L3′s death...kind of fell flat for me? I’m not sure why, but it felt overblown/melodramatic, rather than a moment of genuine pathos. Possibly because it was (or felt) kind of out of place, tonally, with the rest of the film. Possibly because she/her relationship with Lando needed a little more buildup for it to pay off properly.

Or possibly because I couldn’t help comparing it to K2′s death, which was just...just perfect. Can’t really top that one.

...those are the main things, I think, at least that I recall off the top of my head. Possibly there will be more after I see it again (which I definitely will)

Now! Onto the good stuff!

Lando. Just...Lando. And his closet full of capes and his smile and...basically, every time he was onscreen. Donald Glover was just perfect. Nailed it, hit it out of the park, etc.

Paul Bettany was also awesome! Such an enjoyable villain/antagonist. And his bat-dagger/brass knuckle/plasma knife things were SO COOL!

Uh. Anyway.

Pretty much anything from when they picked up Lando--the whole Kessel sequence--was awesome.

Also, that pirate girl, I loved her. I kind of wonder if there was something else in a previous draft--some more to the moment where she took her mask off? Like, when she did, and she and Beckett just stared at each other for a moment, I was half-expecting a reveal that she was his and Val’s daughter or something? Maybe that long shot was supposed to be “look a young relatively innocent girl fighting for a Good Cause” or something, but...eh, IDK.

L3 was delightful, too! And Riyo? Whatever his name was, the other member of Beckett’s original team.

Oh, I mentioned Paul Bettany’s SUPER RIDICULOUS SO EXTRA daggers, right? WELL THEY WERE COOL SO I’M DOING IT AGAIN.

Also, Han’s heart eyes when he saw Val on that battlefield.

Han’s heart eyes when he saw the FALCON!

Okay, Qi’ra--initially, I actually liked her a lot less than I was expecting to. I mean, not that I disliked her, or anything, just...she was more of a generic action movie love interest? She felt like a generic trope--the childhood sweetheart/old flame who is now working for the bad guys--rather than a real/interesting character in her own right. And, I mean, it’s an archetype I happen to like a lot, but...yeah. She did have decent chemistry with Baby Han, I’ll say that for her. Basically, I was just kind of “meh” on her. I was mostly just hoping she wouldn’t get fridged (as romantic false leads have a nasty habit of doing), rather than enjoying/being invested in her for herself. If that makes sense?

Anyway. Just--comparing that with the trailers where there’s that shot of Lando and his “hey-there” grin back to back with her Murder Walking away from the Falcon in the red cape that together were like...where’s that “cries in bisexual” gif when I need it?

(I mean, the Murder Walk in the red cape and LBR all of her super awesome 40s/50s hairstyles still appealed to my shallow bi heart A LOT).

Cough. Uh. Moving on.

Then that whole final sequence happened and it was GREAT.

Again let me mention the daggers of AWESOME I WANT THEM.

But also it was...just...just a really cool fight scene???? And then Qi’ra killing Paul Bettany with his own plasma dagger that was STUCK IN HER SWORD and...

And then. AND THEN.

Then she dumped Han. And as he’s walking out and she’s promising to follow him I’m like, “oh, honey, baby, she is not going to do that.”

There was a vague chance that she was going to die at that point--that it was a Kanan-style h/c angst drama “I’m right behind you” but I didn’t think it was going there. And sure enough it was straight-up Michael Corleone closing the door on Annie Hall which for all I’m a fan of the h/c “I’m mortally wounded and don’t want my loved one to see/worry” trope was SO MUCH BETTER.

And then she picked up Paul Bettany’s ring and took over the syndicate and suddenly I was SUPER INVESTED IN HER.

I have a Thing for anti-villains, okay. Maybe not as much of a Thing as I have for double agents/conflicted loyalties (though we did get a bit of that with her at the end, too) but still, a Thing.

And Qi’ra, Qi’ra, Mob Boss of My Heart, hit SO MANY BUTTONS, LET ME TELL YOU INTERNET.

And then she called her boss. And at first I was like “is Palpsadoodle behind this?” But the voice was wrong. But he was clearly being set up for a Reveal, but then again I thought Pirate Girl was, too, but then I vaguely remembered reading something somewhere that implied a Surprise Cameo (I’d been hoping for Hondo to get promote to a higher level of canon) but then I thought maybe it’s a Legends nod/recanonization of someone...

And then he dropped his hood and I legit clapped my hands over my mouth to keep from shrieking. I don’t even like Maul that much and yet. AND YET. (Also, he was played by both Ray Park and Sam Witwer, which pleased me! I don’t remember who voiced him in TPM but I do know they dubbed everything)

(Also, nice to know that Star Wars still doesn’t know what the hell a cohesive timeline is, lol. Although...I’m sure smarter people than me will math/meta it better, but I’m pretty sure this has to be set before he goes to Malachor, since he seems to have been in active control of Crimson Dawn for a good long while, plus Han and Qi’ra would have to be pretty young at the beginning. I’m guessing a timeframe of 10-12 BBY for the prologue? Assuming Han is ten years older than the twins, which I always thought, but one of my roommates, who generally keeps better track of this kind of thing than I do, thought he was supposed to be 35 then...Also, it can’t be any later than 3/4 BBY, because there’s that one bit in the Leia novel, which is set in 3 BBY and heavily implies that she almost meets Han three years ahead of schedule, and he already has the Falcon...eh, who cares, welcome to Star Wars where the timeline’s made up and the points don’t matter XD)

Anyway. Um. Final verdict--the ending was great, Lando was great, there were some bits that dragged/some pacing issues, some clunky bits, and it was something of a stitched-together Frankenmovie with some underdeveloped plot threads/characters, but overall I really liked it.

(Also, I really hope Qi’ra, Mob Boss of My Heart, outlives Maul and gets to run Crimson Dawn all by herself/properly some day.)