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#religious trauma is super fun
angelic-omega · 5 months
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Depression will have you watching supernatural all the way through NOT once…not twice but THREE FULL TIMES
If you use supernatural as a means of escapism please seek therapy
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rosicheeks · 6 months
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Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..
I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.
I was texting my sister today about it and she said
“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”
I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences
#I relate to all of this so much#and it’s so sad how many people truly have religious trauma#I still find myself lucky and privileged cause I know there are stories MUCH worse than mine#it’s really hard cause my parents still think I’m a Christian#honestly at this point I have no clue what i am#even if I end up still being a Christian that doesn’t help or heal all of the years of church trauma#but the hard part is still acting the part for my parents#growing up I always tried to fit into the good Christian girl mold#cause I know that’s what my parents wanted and I didn’t want to disappoint them#but once I started smoking weed and they found out? it went all downhill from there#their perfect angel fell from heaven#and I feel like ever since I haven’t been really their daughter…. I’ve just been living on the outside looking in to everything#it hurts looking back at all the years I spent brainwashed into believing that was the ONLY faith#it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the fact that I went to a pro life rally#the thing I was talking to my sister about was how mental health was never talked about in the church#when I started dealing with it and went to my parents or the pastors or any adult really and told them what I was dealing with#wanna know what the first thing they would ALWAYS say? well have you prayed about it? the way they treated mental illness was that it was#YOUR fault cause God is punishing you for something…. that you need to pray or go to church so then God will eventually take it away#and the thing is I don’t necessarily blame my parents (which kinda sucks cause I want to blame someone)#but honestly it’s just the environment they grew up in too… like I’m 99% sure my dad has dealt with depression his entire life#but won’t get diagnosed or anything cause they always believe faith has something to do with it#which makes me incredibly sad cause I just think about how much my dad has suffered and how he didn’t need to#^^ I was typing this out when I was late to my family gathering hahaha but then I think my sister called or something so I had to stop#sorry this post is all over the place - I swear I could write a book about religious trauma#yesterday went ok surprisingly but today? TODAY is going to be so much worse#sure I’ll make a post about it later but I guessssss I should go to bed now? it’s 2am and I have to get up at 5:45 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#and I have a fuuuuull day of fun Christian festivities while I’m dealing with all of this bottled up and unresolved crap from my past#please don’t get me wrong I love my parents and like I said I don’t blame them - they did their best#it just really sucks wondering what my life would have been like if I didn’t grow up in the church or in a super religious family#I wonder if when I told my parents I was depressed if they would have instantly brought me in to get help
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ziracona · 1 year
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Iirc Griffin did something similar in Amnesty, when Aubrey succeeded on a roll that should've saved another character's life, but it didn't work and I don't think they ever explained why
Yeah!! And in Amnesty, Ned used a point of LUCK. To get a 12. That in MOTW is a guaranteed success. You do not take harm in Protect Someone if you use luck. Also, a fucking shotgun does not DO 7 points of harm anyway. It’s 3. And he fucking KILLED him. Never forgiving Griffin for that one >.>
#that’s not just cheap it’s /explicitly/ against the rules#I don’t ever like if a DM is giving ‘me vs you’ vibes to the players in any form but cheating and lying is the worst#ask#anonymous#like dgmw I love Griffin and most of the time quite enjoy his DMing but several times he has now made me /boiling/ mad#not super happy about the way he has handled Devo’s religious trauma either. like Travis is great#incredible character. he’s got some huge flaws but you also get why Devo is how he is and sometimes he’s super right. but Griffin has too#much been like ‘what if the church wasn’t so bad : )’ like Travis had to /push/ for the flashback trauma scene w Guidance to be something#upsetting and abusive. like let him have a history#taz amnesty spoilers#also not a fan of his new ‘no backstories’ thing#like yeah it can get too much or awkward but they can also be great??? you don’t want to live in them but you want them to give you a rich#basis for where the charcater in-story starts. ??? it causes no issues if you do that?#and it’s fun to occasionally have them be relevant even just for a goofy one off. I had a player be a changeling who had helped a coup in#another country and her co-revolutionary she was with and close to turned on her for racial reasons bc she was a changeling when he found ou#out and tried to kill her and they have a mutual ‘if I ever see you again’ and the experience dramatically influenced how she interacted w#other characters in the campaign bc baggage. but she never even /brought it up/ to a Pc or npc. it’s just rich character to work with#you gotta trust players and yourself a little not let having details overwhelm a story it’s not hard#and if it starts to happen it ain’t hard to correct
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siobhanromee · 2 years
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I wish I had someone to explain my religious beliefs to
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This is what cultural christianity looks like:
“What did you do for christmas? Oh you should still celebrate it even though you’re non-christian. It’s super fun and everyone celebrates!”
“Yeah I had sooo much religious trauma. Fuck religions lol. Oh, you’re ex-jewish? Thank g-d you got out of that I heard it’s a massive cult lol”
“Oh, you’re Jewish? I don’t really know much about that; but I love those potato pancake thing. Laykeys, right?”
“Omg I got this necklace! It’s super goth. The cross sorta reminds me of grave stones, don’t you think?”
“Oh, you’re Jewish? But not like, really Jewish right? Because that’s weird. Anyway my aunt just became a nun and it’s super aesthetic but she can’t date so that must be annoying…”
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baldurs-writers-3 · 5 months
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This week, we have fics focusing on Tav! Check under the cut for eight fics that explore custom Tavs as they navigate the challenges of BG3. And as always, comment and kudos if you like them!
staeve multiverse by Deerna (30082,Not Rated) Warnings: Check individual fics for rating and content notes Pairings: Astarion/Halsin/Tav
This is a relatively large collection of fics surrounding Staeve, the drow rogue made by Velnna
Reccer says: Staeve is a super fun tav, and there are so many fun fics exploring his dynamic with his partners.
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Be Worth Something by Masterangst12 (4445,Not Rated) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion/Tav
Tav (named Axel) gives Astarion a present, a thoughtful gesture and Astarion sucks it up and returns the kindness by learning to comfort someone else for once.
Reccer says: I love how everyone picked up on the signs of Axel's self-worth issues, and I love Astarion's response to them even more
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Under the Sussur Tree by spacesunderstairs (73724,Mature) Warnings: None Pairings: Astarion/Tav
Halinae (a reclusive drow bard) wakes up on a mindflayer ship and must find her way out.
Reccer says: I really like Halinae as a character, and enjoy seeing her interact with the various companions.
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tomorrow (and tomorrow, and tomorrow) by maximumentropy (51352,Mature) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Rape/Non-Con (though the non-con is not super explicit, if that helps), Self harm Pairings: Astarion/Halsin/Tav
Astarion is newly freed from Cazador, and Morrow is newly freed from their own abusive master. And Halsin? Halsin is the only one who knows the three of them are soulmates.
Reccer says: I really like Morrow as a character, and the way these three play off each other and grow together. Just very lovely all around
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Fidelity by narla_hotep (102674,Mature) Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Major Character Death, Body Horror Pairings: The Emperor/Tav
Fidelius was a thrall; a mind flayer's loyal servant who obeyed his master's every whim. But everything changed when the nautiloid descended. Now with his master missing and presumed dead, Del is free for the first time in decades... And he has absolutely no idea what to do with it.
Reccer says: The premise is executed so well, and the descriptions are wonderfully visceral.
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Weight of The Crown by Nikolai_237 (2613,General) Warnings: None Pairings: Karlach/Tav
A young Archfey warlock attempts to become familiar with a mysterious power bestowed to him.
Reccer says: I really enjoy the feywild imagery, and Rivera is just a joy to read
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And two fics each for:
Oathbreaker by Mellybaggins (186136,Explicit) Warnings: Dead dove content, major character death, rape, torture, religious trauma, gaslighting/emotional manipulation Pairings: Tav/Astarion, Tav/Halsin, Tav/OC
The fic follows Morwen, an oathbreaker paladin Tav through the events of the game, but also during her rich backstory as told through recovered suppressed memories.
Reccer #1 says: It seems to start as just another Tav fic but really takes off after Raphael messes with her and the suppressed traumatic memories start to resurface. Reccer #2 says: Morwen is such an interesting Tav, and I love fics that really dig into the divide between good vs evil, especially in such a dark way.
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Until I Met You by onlymine139 (50846,Explicit) Warnings: None Pairings: Halsin/Tav
A slow burn that focuses on developing the relationship between Tav and Halsin during the events of BG3.
Reccer #1 says: It helps to fill in some of the gaps in the in game romance with Halsin as well as develop some cute friendships with the other companions. Heavy on Tav's (Tav'ahria) backstory as well, who was also present for the unleashing of the shadow curse. Reccer #2 says: I really enjoy the sweet back and forth between Tav and Halsin, and their companions' sometimes disastrous matchmaking attempts.
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The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ!
Next week, we’ll be back with Humorous Fics!
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striders · 6 months
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super not excited about the new trend i’m seeing where people are making fun of ex-christians from non-catholic denominations for talking about their religious trauma like. lmao. it is in fact deeper than folding chairs and cheap church buildings and grape juice for communion. i promise
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gortashs-skidmark · 5 months
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KAR’NISS HEADCANONS and CANON Facts about DRIDERS - for my monster fuckers out there - get out of bed, come get ya’ll’s food -
I used they/them for Kar’niss. They literally canonically do not have genitals. It doesn’t mean they’re non-binary they could have preference but idfk what they go by and being inclusive is fun.
Not proof read. Will be grammatical errors. 18+ MNDI, MATURE CONTENT FAR BELOW WITH FOREWARNING.
CONTENT WARNING: mentions of suicide, gender mentioning, impact of philogynistic Drow society, sterile peenid cum, smut if you read down far enough, self hatred, religious trauma, religion themes, murder, killing, blood suckin’
Canon first, to back up Headcanons
𝕯𝕽𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽𝕾𝕯𝕽𝕺𝖂𝕾𝕻𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽𝕯𝕽𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽𝕯𝕽𝕺𝖂𝕾𝕻𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽𝕯𝕽𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽𝕾𝕯𝕽𝕺𝖂𝕾𝕻𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽𝕯𝕽𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽𝕯𝕽𝕺𝖂𝕾𝕻𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽𝕯𝕽𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽𝕾𝕯𝕽𝕺𝖂𝕾𝕻𝕴
Okay, let's start with CANON FACTS ABOUT DRIDERS, so ya’ll can dig deeper into the Kar’niss iceberg.
Info Source: Forgetten Wiki Realms
Utilizes 4th and 5th Edition DND lore
CANON
What is a Drider and How Do They Live?
- a Drider by definition is; “drows that had been transformed from the waist down so they had the body of a spider. The transformation was typically a punishment for failing a test of Lolth”
𝕯𝕽𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽𝕾𝕯𝕽𝕺𝖂𝕾𝕻𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽𝕯𝕽𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽𝕯𝕽𝕺𝖂𝕾𝕻𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽
- Driders are transformed into Lolth’s Image, supposedly. They are transformed using a Yochlol process.
- Yochlol; “a lesser type of tanari’ri demons also known as Handmaidens of Lolth, although the term “handmaidens” was used rather loosely. The Queen of Spiders had these 8 limbed abominations infiltrate Drow Societies, normally undetected”
- they have four forms available: ooze, humanoid, spider, and gaseous. Their typical (Drider) forms are 8 feet tall and weigh 160lbs. They’re often Black Widow spiders with fangs.
𝕯𝕽𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽𝕾𝕯𝕽𝕺𝖂𝕾𝕻𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽𝕯𝕽𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽𝕯𝕽𝕺𝖂𝕾𝕻𝕴𝕯𝕰𝕽
- Driders are canonically sexless!!! Lolth didn’t want to have an army of enemy Drow spider babies against her. Clusters of hundreds of spider babies and colonies aren’t possible. As cute as that is.
- they cannot safely live among Drow Society and are outcasts, they leave after they’re turned.
- They’re violent hunters. They’re filled with shame and fear. Explains his dialogue.
- Most of them are suicidal and want to die in battle bc they’re miserable.
- THEY DRINK BLOOD EVERYBODY. They need to sustain life and drink blood every 4 days. I wonder who the unlucky’s at the tower were.
- usually Drow end up killing drider’s for Lolth. Drider’s are super cautious when dealing with Lolthite Drow.
- immune to all poison, they sap your strength, can poison and paralyze for up to 20 minutes. Their dark vision is shorter than regular Drow. Have really really good stealth. Like crazy good hiding skills. Sometimes they’re spies for Lolth among regular Drow society.
- they have about the same abilities at Lolth Sworn Drow that are blessed. But they’re outcasts.
- THEY ARE KNOWN, to be mentally unstable and it’s hard for them to feel fear. When Kar’niss tells about staying in the light he’s mad not fearful.
- Driders walk like spider but cannot walk on ceilings. They’re too fucking heavy dawg.
- only about half of Driders can spin webs.
- the process of turning into a drider is similar to wyll’s, for visual and mental understanding. And it can be undone with a Wish spell.
- Driders typically live alone, or with 1 or 2 buddies. More rarely they can live in nests of other Driders (heaven forbid you walk into 7 Driders living together)
- calling a Drow “eight legs” is seen as a threat
- it’s possible for Drider Living to be temporary with the spell Spiderform, or specialized spell Dridershape.
What is the Rite of Passage given by Lolth?
- it determines loyalty and strength.
- it’s a battle to the death between Drow. The testée(hehe) and a slightly stronger tester.
- Lolth’s loyalty test was placing the Drow against a friend, family, lover, ally who the Drow trusted. Is your god higher than your relationship? Something of that effect.
- if the Drow didn’t have friends or family, a Cleric of Lolth who wasn’t super into their religion was the tester.
- 3 outcomes; the subject that one took the corpses power for a month, you die and your soul is collected by Lolth, if you don’t win or kill the enemy you’re turned into a Drider.
- Drow can suffer memory loss of the entire event (Shar and Lolth have to be on the same wave length) and then Lolth will accuse them of murder of another Drow, which is illegal in Drow Society. So they’re outcasted.
<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔
Headcanons
• Kar’niss was turned into a Drider because of betrayal. I think that’s why theyre obsessed with being loyal to their moon lamp. They would’ve been obsessed with Strength if they failed that part of it. (They have 127 hp on explorer dude)
• Drow hate the light, they really do. But Kar’niss loves their lamp like a moth. They are so obsessed with the voice in their head and the lamp they carry. I think the Absolute is their new Jesus, obv, but they didn’t need a tadpole to prove it (although they have one bc you can see inside their mind)
• putting a tadpole in their brain was a loyalty test.
• they lived alone before. I think living around other Drider would’ve slightly improved their mind. Even if they’re all mentally unstable. Suicidal roomies with the same mental problems.
• they still carry some pride, and they’re righteously snide with all the Absolute followers. They’ve found some grace again in the Absolute, after they Failed their Loyalty Test.
• They hate Drow. Completely. Look at what an evil-by-godly-nature did to them.
• can’t have sex. 1) they’re kinda mindless 2) they don’t have the genitals bc of Lolth.
• they can feel intimacy. They do a little spider dance to impress you.
• sometimes you clap your hands to communicate with their tippy taps. It’s your silent language you made with them.
• the shorter extra arms near their abdomen, you find them cleaning and wiping blood off themselves with it. Flicking and wiping in a very spidery manner. Uses it like an extra pair of arms. They’ll hold shit with them if you ask.
• their fractured mind is filled with loyalty, light, and determination. You cannot rip this sucker away from the Absolute. The Absolute accepts all and that’s why they love their new Goddess.
• you could convince The Emporer to give them their own mind but then you’ll have to do recon and emotionally de-attach them from the Absolute.
• if you have Minthara in your camp, and you’re tryin’ to romance Kar’niss, you’re getting twice the challenge. She hates them, and they hate her. They’re not buddies, for a long time. She’s Lolthite and a vengeance paladin.
• They get really offended if you squish spiders instead of gently relocating them out of the way, or just leaving it be. They take it personally.
• They’re not fuzzy. Not one bit. They have a hard shell, shiny and rigid. They’re black-widow adjacent. Their fleshy abdomen and face don’t get poked often but it’s the comfiest part to lay on.
• you could boil their legs like crab meat.
• they have traction alopecia like jojo siwa. Not their fault they have extra eyes.
• some of their eyes are blind, or have near/far sighted problems. They have just okay dark vision but the extra eyes don’t help. You tend to guide them via extra web string or they memorize the way your gait walks.
• females have the worst eyesight, thought both sexes use frequencies disturbance on their webs to see. They use the extra eyes for light and motion, they’re kinda really bad at seeing.
• Kar’niss spins webs, they love to chill in hammocks they spin for themself, and you. It’s super cozy and sticky and warm. They will make intricate woven patterns of webs for you to look at (maybe they’re part orbit weaver). Your favorite is when they leave it overnight to collect dew drops.
• Kar’niss has a super phlemmy hum when they talk, it’s very comforting when you’re against them. They also use it as frequency to communicate with you, the deeper the more dangerous, it almost sounds like a roar when they yell. The lighter and more purr-like, the happier they are.
• they’re really cold. Their hard outer shell, and need to feast on blood (they lack it), means they don’t have blood that pumps through their body. Their webs are warm tho.
NSFW BELOW
¥ Kar’niss can’t fuck you with Spider Dick, but if you really want them to have a sex, then they’re sterile. No Spider babies.
¥ if you do give them a sex, it’s at the lower abdomen on their Drow body. Idk kinda hidden. And it’s cut. (Lolth hates men that’s why I think that). It’s rigid, long, the base gets a hard spider shell.
¥ if you don’t give them a sex, they fuck you with those shorter extra appendages near their abdomen. Those are their extra set of arms (in spider terms)
¥ their nails (fucking claws) are super sensitive. You can’t cut them. They’re more like cartilage, and it’s not unpleasant to be fingered with.
¥ their body is super sensitive and aware. They have that 6th spider sense and they’re good at being quiet, if you ask. You could attempt to pleasure them by stimulating their chest, neck, stomach, certain spots on their spider parts, especially the underside of their spider legs.
¥ they just like to be cuddled and holed up with you. They’re not super fleshy, not terrible comfortable, but they love your soft body.
¥ you let them drink blood from you, sometimes. If you’re into that. Astarion has some competition then.
¥ they’re not poly. Although the spider in them would say other wise, they’re still human most days. They need a lot of attention towards their problems and jealousy is something that comes easy to Kar’niss. Not even up for a one night threesome.
¥ if you’re a girl (she/her), they treat you like you’re above them. It’s natural from their original society. Like it’s a bit weird the way they do it. You gotta talk to them to reassure you’re on the same level. Gotta break that habit. Even in bed you’re like okay this praise is turning in a weird direction.
¥ if you’re a man or they/them, they feel more comfortable immediately. It’s common ground. They do not have to suck up out of habit. Which leads to great sex.
¥ you can feel the cut on their lip when you kiss. You can taste the days of hunger they go without blood. Their nails lightly trace down your back. They kiss you lightly, more often than not.
¥ if they’re kissing you hard, it means in that moment they’re feeling an incredible amount of emotions. You can indulge or take a step back. Kar’niss doesn’t feel a lot but when they do it’s important.
¥ they enjoy it when you praise both of their bodies. They get a little flustered about their spider body but you can show them it’s just as beautiful as the rest.
¥ they’re technically naked at all times. Armor isn’t comfortable. They’re bearing themselves at all times. You have access to their body at all times. By body, I mant pednis nd bawls.
¥ their spider dance, is meant to be mating. It’s gonna charm the pants off of you. It’s like Wyll but more cute-bug-core. With a sense of purpose. They will do different dances, and combine purring/humming frequencies toward you with their taps to woo you.
¥ the spider dancing is a lot of abdomen twitching and hip shaking. It’s a jittery court.
¥ btw fun fact; when jumping spiders wave and kinda dance, they’re signaling others to catch prey. :)
¥ male black widows tend to get eaten after giving their sperm to females, the fact Kar’niss is male, is also pretty rare. They should’ve been eaten by a female by now. When you eat their cum it’s alarming on a spider sense level. They know their sterile but like you’re supposed to store it in your body until you want babies. Which is also not possible unless you’re gith. And Kar’niss is sterile, by the grace of Lolth.
¥ Kar’niss was supposed to be a one night stand. Black widows are incredibly solitary, and only meet up to breed, and possibly be eaten after. They feel lust, but they’re not expecting feelings from you after. The fact you even want to breed with a freak like them gets them all giddy and prepped.
¥ after mating, Kar’niss does feel inclined to try and woo you again. A dance, a dinner, play music, give presents (webbed prey neatly wrapped on your tent step). Thought incredibly spooked. They don’t know how you’ll respond.
¥¥¥Don’t bite them during sexy time it scares the fuck out of them.¥¥¥
¥ I am making them out to be very spider like but they’re also just as human. They hum music, sit/looks like crouching on their legs. They can be playful if you open them up. They find comfort in touch and words.
𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚔𝚊𝚛'𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚜𝚔𝚊
Checkout my Tiefling Canon Facts for fanfic writers and fanartists! more stuff like this coming soon :) or my masterlist <3
Currently working on; He Who Was Headcanons with Shadar'kai facts and events
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amuseoffyre · 13 days
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Got thinking today about the first pieces of queer media I experienced and how formative they were for me when I didn't even know queerness was a thing. Double-whammy of super religious family raised in very religious community and then ending up slap bang in the middle of section 28 in the UK, where it was illegal to teach kids anything about queerness.
But it was there. It found me, even when I didn't know I was looking for it.
First up was the double-header of To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything Julie Newmar and Priscilla Queen of the Desert.
It was 1996/7, I was in my mid-teens. I was having a sleepover at a friend's house and she asked me if I wanted to see drag queens. I didn't know what they were, so I said yes. My wee little mind was blown. Until that point, the only time I had seen anything like it had been as a joke, especially Pantomime Dames.
I know that now these films are very dated, but then? When the only other mainstream films with vaguely trans-ish characters were things like Silence of the Lambs and The Crying Game? Having some of the biggest stars of their respective countries playing sympathetic, fun, silly, loving, happy drag queens and trans characters was so staggeringly new and out of left field. I didn't even know what I was feeling but those films curled up in my chest for reasons I couldn't even understand then.
A few years later, doing my English studies and one of the assigned texts was a book called Trumpet by Jackie Kay. I had never heard of it, had no idea what it was about going in, and again, eyes wide open after it. A trans man who kept his whole life a secret from everyone but his wife, only outed after his death. It's beautiful and poignant and wrenching as his kid tries to unravel and understand their father and who he was.
It's been two decades and I've seen a lot of queer media since then, but those three pieces were the foundation of me figuring things out and realising what I had been told all along wasn't compulsory or necessarily even right. It showed me a glimpse of something else, that maybe all the parts of me that I had been chipping away at, trying to make them fit, didn't need to be chipped away at all.
Took a lot longer for me to put all the pieces together consciously. The trauma and self-hate will do that to you. But I got there :) I got there in the end and I can look in the mirror like Miss Vida and smile like she did.
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WIBTA For discouraging my friend from exploring paganism?
I (20X) have been a Norse pagan for years. It's something I engage with both as a very serious religion and as an academic field of study. It's a special interest of mine as well.
My roommate and dear friend (21F) is a former Pentecostal Christian (something she's coming to terms with being a traumatizing experience for her). She's never had an issue with me practicing, I have a small altar in the living room, she doesn't mind celebrating my holidays with me. But lately, she's started asking a lot of questions about it, expressing an interest in exploring paganism for herself.
Now, I've tried not being judgmental, so far I've given her my impartial knowledge when she asks questions, but I'm starting to feel odd about it.
First of all, every time she's asked questions, I've given her further resources (youtube videos, books, podcasts, articles, everything) but she's never actually looked at them. I can tell. The next day she'll ask something small and inane that even skimming what I sent her earlier would have told her. It feels like she wants to just be spoon-fed exactly what to do and how to do it. I'm not an absolute authority either, this is a lot of weight to put on my shoulders.
I'm also worried because it she tends to pick up and drop hobbies very quickly and impulsively. (Hello to the huge pile of expensive yarn sitting behind our couch because she gave up knitting the second it got hard). She also seems to have super unrealistic expectations about what paganism involves, or even just non-Christian religions. She keeps asking about rules, no matter how many times I tell her that's not how it works, like she expects me to spring secret rules out of nowhere. She also seems to expect it to be a lot more dramatic than it is. She's shocked when I pray and it's a quiet affair, when I talk about gods and I don't hold them in utter reverence, when my rituals don't have shocking and extreme immediate results. It seems almost, sometimes, like she expects me to speak in tongues or be slain in the spirit.
Ultimately, I'm worried she's just going to pick up my very serious religion like it's a fun silly hobby and nothing more. I'm worried she'll be disappointed by it. And if she doesn't drop it immediately, I'm worried she's going to practice it like it's just another form of Christianity where she feigns dramatic results. (She used to pretend to speak in tongues as a kid, for context.) I want to gently steer her away, but I feel like maybe I'd be an asshole for stopping her exploration and like I might be a roadblock in an important step in healing from her religious trauma.
So... AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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autistic-katara · 2 years
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stuff i wanna see in TSATS
its just less than 2 months until TSATS comes out and my pjo phase is coming back HARD so heres some stuff i wanna see (idc how popular or unpopular these r)
Solangelo kiss (seriously like all the other good canon couples had one)
explicit use of queer terms (i havent rlly seen anyone talk abt this but as much as i love queer characters just existing u have no idea how happy it makes me to see media, especially kids media, explicitly say the words gay, bisexual, transgender, lesbian, etc.)
Hunters of Artemis cameo
piggybacking off that, Nico’s reaction to Reyna being a hunter (ive wanted to see this since 2019 PLEASE i gotta know how he feels abt this considering yk his past w/ them)
confirmation on whether Will’s gay or bi/mspec (or just simply queer, no specific labels necessary)
a trans/nonbinary character (specifically transmasc)
a Piper cameo
during her cameo Piper explicitly saying her sexuality (which is lesbian, if u think otherwise ur wrong/hj)
Hazel cameo
more Lavinia content (idc how i just need more of my chaotic Jewish ADHD pink-haired Russian lesbian, ok?)
GAY ANGST
MORE GAY ANGST
SO MUCH GAY ANGST ITLL MAKE MY AO3 HISTORY LOOK LIKE A HAPPY HETEROSEXUAL PURE BIBLE CLUB FOR TODDLERS
canonically autistic Nico
that Lil Nas X reference we were promised
Nico making more trauma jokes (he just like me fr)
the multiple coming out scenes i heard were allegedly promised
Hades and/or Apollo cameo
Hestia cameo
Jason’s ghost cameo
dead Apollo kids cameo
explicit discussion of Nico’s religious trauma
explicit discussion of just Will’s trauma in general (seriously we all kinda ignore that our “sunshiney golden retriever uwu gay boi 😊🌸✨☀️” actually has some super serious trauma)
both of them coping badly with all this and being worried abt eachother (aka gay angst but more specific)
Maria di Angelo content
Persephone cameo w/ her either still lowkey hating Nico and being passive aggressive asf to him or having had him grow on her in the past few years and is now turning the overprotective mom mode to the max
just some cute, non-angsty moments between Nico nd Will cause goddam we need some queer joy rn ;-;
so much hurt/comfort u physically cant continue living anymore (going both ways not just Will comforting Nico)
a MCGA cameo
Fierrochase and Solangelo meeting and having the same funny interactions they have in the memes (but with the canon versions of them)
discussions of stuff like homophobia and internalized homophobia and mental illness
a relatively happy ending (but not a “2 months later and the world is perfect and neither of them had felt anything close to depression or anything since the ending and if for some reason addiction was a part of this we would we talking abt how they were magically 2 months clean and it would be physically impossible for the thought of relapse to even cross their mind” kinda happy ending cause i hate those kinda endings w/ a burning passion)
setup for another side book (preferably a Piper or Reyna one)
thats all i can think of rn off the top of my head but feel free to comment on any of these or add ur ideas cause 2 months feels like an eternity long wait + hearing other opinions is fun when we arent all in a heated argument over smthn stupid
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rxttenbxnes · 4 months
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Hello! Do you have any fun headcanons to share about Idia? Honestly, I just find it painful to see how badly this guy gets butchered in headcanons sometimes. People always forget that he is in fact a complete ass with a massive superiority-inferiority complex and not just a sad boi, or they overplay the weeb part and ignore how he has other interests like science and art, or they make him too pathetic by assuming he would still be a blushing incoherent mess like a year into marriage, etc. Anyway, it’d just be nice to hear the headcanons of an actual Idia fan since that’s the only way to get anything sane.
Omg totally, first I'mma do a little rant, I'll make sure to label where the HCS begin so y'all don't have to read my rants 😭
܀⊹ ིྀ🕸 ۫ ִ ׂ💭 ◟♡ ˒ ⊹ ݁ ִ  ۫🎮ೄྀ⊹܀
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❱❱﹒⟡﹒𝑅𝑎𝑛𝑡﹢﹒🎮
Okay we gotta acknowledge the fact idia is indeed, an asshole you guys. 💀Well not completely obviously but he's not just gonna be nice to you for no reason. He's not just some depressed dude needing sympathy.
The way Idia is so Infantilzed by the fandom it's actually gets me tweakin, You guys this actually makes me mad, he's not some sensitive bottom uwu boy that stutters 50 times every sentence In fact I honestly cannot see him being submissive half of the time, this man is actually a asshole on the low. Most people get the fact that idia would be submissive from his shy and closed off personality which is just SO wrong to me.
Idia is extremely pessimistic and if we're being real Idia is actually not a good narrator for his own experiences, the constant self deprecation mixed in with his his thoughts about being superior to others is so fascinating to me, one moment he sees himself as nothing but a piece of trash while in the next moment he's boasting about how he's the only one component enough to be ignihyde's dorm leader. He's such a complex character I can Yap about him constantly
I get making jokes and stuff but some people genuinely think idia is some stinky incel creep that hates women and just purposely chooses to not go outside and be chronically online. Like yeah, he has nerdy and loser like hobbies but this man literally has trauma and chronic depression, along with an anxiety disorder, it's not something he can just make disappear. He likes science, engineering, art, anime, games etc which is all just cool, it's not like he's some creep that's afraid to talk to people, nor is he some super submissive guy that'll fold for you in a tiny interaction.
Had to get ts off my chest 💀
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܀⊹ ིྀ🕸 ۫ ִ ׂ💭 ◟♡ ˒ ⊹ ݁ ִ  ۫🎮ೄྀ⊹܀
܀⊹ ིྀ𝐼𝑑𝑖𝑎 ℎ𝑒𝑎𝑑𝑐𝑎𝑛𝑜𝑛𝑠 🎮ೄྀ⊹܀
🎧 Caramelldansen. Idia adores this song unironically. At first he had just saw the meme and quickly ended up falling into the whole thing, laying on the floor completely dazed out of his mind as the colorful lights flash in the background from the music video playing on repeat lol
🎮 I said this in my earlier post but Idia definitely draws his crushes all the time. Luckily he has a little self control and draws anime/manga characters in most of the pages, he's really protective over his sketch book due to 1.) His social anxiety and 2.) The fact that he doesn't want anyone to know that he likes drawing and observing people, especially his crushes.
🎧 Idia constantly has his headphones on, I know of a fact that Idia listens to Nightcore, anime OSTs, Vocaloid, animation meme music, Vkei, video game sound tracks and breakcore religiously. I think idia would honestly listen to everything he can get his hands on
🎮 I feel like he had a 2020 alt kid phase lol. I feel like quarantine would've been his time to thrive, his peak enjoyment of life would be set during this time lol. Being able to express himself like he wanted without others seeing??? Sign him up
🎧 Ironically, he's not super weak. I feel like he just sucks at physical activity, especially running since he doesn't leave his room much. His hands/fist are definitely strong, I feel like he has a strong hit.
🎮 That being said, I think Idia’s hands are large, thin and boney. They definitely have a few scars and calluses from all the machinery he works with, you can't tell me that his hands aren't pretty rough.
🎧 Idia is a fashion icon, in games. Not irl, he would never due to the attention it would grab him, though he definitely is into all of the alternative and Gothic fashion stuff. He'll give his characters the most perfect and pretty outfits and make sure everything is customized perfectly, not mind at all if it takes him hours to do so.
🎮 This man definitely collects figures. I feel like they're all anime and video game figures; he's even commission artist and such to make custom work of his favorite interest and brag online about it.
🎧 Has an habit of repeating words and phrases he likes over and over again. It doesn't matter if it's from an obscure meme that literally only 5 people including him know or if it's in a different language, he'll constantly reference and repeat it like no tomorrow.
🎮 He's a biter. He bites a lot of things randomly, he'd bite someone out of love if he got the chance. I'm telling you he'll just naw on random stuff, not caring if it's edible or not. It could literally be a plushy and he'll randomly bite it while he's hugging it.
🎧 Idia definitely finds confort in the rain and gloom weather. Really, he just enjoys typically gloomy things. It's extremely comforting and relaxing to him to just be able to sit on his bed with his headphones on while it rains harshly outside, making the world around him dark and gloomy.
🎮 Curses, like a lot. Gamer rage is real you guys and he definitely has it. If he loses a game too many times or gets too frustrated with his teammates, he'll curse like a sailor. His anger isn't directly to his teammates or anything, it's of him being frustrated with everything in general.
܀⊹ ིྀ🕸 ۫ ִ ׂ💭 ◟♡ ˒ ⊹ ݁ ִ  ۫🎮ೄྀ⊹܀
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aydien677 · 25 days
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Southern Mc with a little Trauma
A/N: as someone who grew up in southern U.S. in a Christian home with their Grandparents and getting religious trauma just to have ended up Bi with pronouns, this is very self indulgent.
Warnings; slight mention of a bad home life and stereotyping
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It was just a plain day in the HOL, except quieter until Lucifer started yelling at Mammon for the usual bullshit. Mc stayed silent but eventually couldn’t handle it. 
Mc in a heavily southern accent: “Listen hear you Motherfuckers! ain’t you got anything better to do than scream at each other like a damn banshee?!
Everyone paused and stared at Mc as they had never heard them use an accent before, they didn’t even know that Mc was southern
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He had no clue you had an accent
The file he got only said where you currently lived, not where you grew up
He stops arguing with Mammon and doesn’t bring it up.
After dinner he calls you into his office to ask a few questions.
Lucifer: “Mc, can you please explain why you never use your accent?”
Mc: “W-well… umm”
Lucifer: “Mc”
Mc: “Well my grandmother always used a southern accent and I don’t want to associate myself with her. People also automatically assume that because I am south I am homophobic”
Lucifer: “Oh… well feel free to use around us Mc, we won’t judge you for having an accent”
Lucifer won’t bring it up again unless you bring it up
He knows Southerners can be extremely religious so he assumed it was that because for him it was like “yeah same” 
He doesn’t ask any questions about your life growing up and instead uses other sources (Barbatos) to look into it
He finds it amusing whenever you accidentally use southern terms such as “Skeeters” and “ternaders”
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Oh my lord is this boy a himbo
His first reaction is to laugh
He thinks you just picked it up off of old westerns or movies 
Then he heard you use other southern terms 
It takes him a longgg time before he realizes unless Mc tells him outright
He actually gets the tea from Asmodeus first because Mc didn’t want to explain it to him since they knew Mammon would freak out
He freaks out and tried to get to Mc and would have if Lucifer didn’t clothespin him.
Mc doesn’t need to be overwhelmed by Mammon freaking out over them
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Gets super excited when he first hears the accent
“OMG you sound like [inset character name] from [super long anime title]”
He won’t ask a lot of questions 
Mc may have done impressions for him before so he’ll ask you to sound like southern characters and maybe want you to do a few cosplays
He doesn’t ask if it’s your original accent or why you don’t use it because he’s too excited 
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Hehe, Helluva Boss wrath ring
He will laugh his ass off because of how funny he finds “southern wrath”
He asks where Mc got the accent despite having a good guess
They mostly avoid the topic of their home life and just mention they grew up south
Satan doesn’t dig deeper despite having a feeling there was something more
He won’t bring it up again but still giggles when you do the accent or use southern terms
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Asmodeus already knew about the reason Mc won’t use their accent thanks to Mc venting during spa sessions 
He may know why you don’t use it but he still gets horny every time
He wants this cowboy to ride him into the sunset
He’ll never actually bring it up unless Mc does first so his horny thoughts will stay thoughts
He does have to stop Mammon from bringing it up since it’s not a fun topic for Mc
He stays as understanding as possible while containing his horny
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Doesn’t notice 
I don’t think he goes to the human realm often unless it’s to eat so he won’t really know a lot about Southern culture 
He assumes Mc either learned the accent somewhere or grew up with it
He doesn’t really question it but may ask a few questions about where Mc grew up
The questions are mostly food related
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Also laughs at the accent
He couldn’t care less he just thinks it’s funny
Well, that is until he overheard Asmodeus talking to Mammon
He won’t ask questions but that won’t stop him from laughing his ass off
he won’t take anything you say seriously if it’s in the accent
He may also ask food questions so he can cook something for Beel
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violetsdust · 1 year
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let me be a nerd for five minutes — can we talk about the gearbreakers duology?
poc main characters that are also sapphics, science fiction with heavy cyberpunk influences and fucking mechas, religious themes, citicism towards authoritarianism, generational trauma, actually good lesbian rapresentation (because its a rarity) and characters that are easy to love and to empathize with. its really just fun to read. i understand everything, but i think we should really hype this type of books. i need more sapphic sci-fi. here are the super cool covers.
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jumalanpelko · 18 days
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Welcome to edgy farm cat cult
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There is a creature inside of Suncat. A god, savior, who is killing her slowly, just like She has done to many Suncats before. However Suncat's Guard won't let it happen. He just can't.
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-Jumalanpelko (eng. the fear of god) is reboot of my old old comic and will be my stress relief comic. My guess is that I will be super active, then go quiet here and then just pop up again once i feel like it.
-Comic will be kinda episodic and interactive taking a lot of inspiration from my fav clangen comics (like @fallenclan @loudclan-clangen @circus-clangen and @aphidclan-clangen , pls follow them, amazing stuff, so many cats!) Im just here to have fun and I want to focus more on that and less on writing a clear story. I have the main plot planned but i will tell the story with mini comics and by answering questions ect. We will see how things go!
You can also read from Comicfury and instagram (@/jumalanpelko_)
My main tumblr is @sysiheart and I use all pronouns.
English isnt my first language and while someone checks the comic pages for errors, i do not care enough to google every word i write here so sometimes i wont make sense. Feel free to ask.
Anonymous questions turned off, tell me if you want me to block out ur name!
CW:
-Religious trauma and cult stuff
-(child)death, sickness, blood...
-Abuse and toxic relationships
-Cats might not swear but I will.
-This is a tragedy dont think it will have an happy ending
-I do not understand how to tumblr and most likely never will
Tags
#jumalanpelkolore for info about the world
#jumalanpelkoasks for qna stuff
#jumalanpelkocomic for comic pages
#jumalanpelkoart for art
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Goth Songs for the Ghouls :)
Phantom: Mi Amour, Mi Vampira by DECIETS
Rain: Cascade by Siouxie and the Banshees
Swiss: Floorshow by Sisters of Mercy
Aurora: Cassandra by The Naked and The Dead
Mountain: The Hanging Garden by The Cure
Dew: 92 Degrees by Siouxie and the Banshees
Cumulus: This Corrosion by Sisters of Mercy
Cirrus: I’m the Woman that Killed Jack The Ripper by Scary Bitches
Aether: Scopes by Bauhaus
Several of these are just because i think they would like them, and others are because of how i see them personally. Not all of these are great or super accurate to what the song is about, but more what i feel it is about. (and how i’ve been able to interpret them)
Mi Amour, Mi Vampira is just a song Phantom would constantly have on repeat sorry guys.
Cascade is one of my favorite Siouxie and the Banshees songs. It is a sad song. Rain strikes me as a sad song person. The lyrics are also kind of off putting: “My chest was full of eels/Pushing through my usual skin.” i feel that Rain’s whole vibe just screams this song.
Floorshow is a fun song, with very interesting vocals. the song mostly describes a group of people dressed in black with makeup who are dancing. Swiss is known for his shimmy so… Floorshow. Coincidentally, also one of my favorite Sisters of Mercy songs.
Cassandra is a song about a religious girl, but it is the darker side of religion. it is a song about religious trauma. I mostly just see Aurora vibing with the song, not necessarily relating to it. *this song does describe abuse at least the way i see it
The Hanging Garden is one of my favorite The Cure songs. the lyrics describe monsters in the garden. The song itself seems to be describing a nightmare. overall, fun song.
Dew’s is kind of obvious, 92 Degrees starts off with a monologue saying most murders are committed at 92 Degrees (really bad summary). The song describes sort of heat stroke, and maybe a mirage sort of thing. it’s a good song. I was also debating choosing Souvenirs of Surgery by Specimen for him, i think it’s again obvious why. however, i think the song isn’t particularly right, but still a good song :)
Cumulus’ is a song with very beautiful vocals, and she has very beautiful vocals. also, it’s just a very fun and dynamic song in my opinion.
I’m the Woman that Killed Jack The Ripper is a really good song where the person described by the singer is a vampire who kills Jack The Ripper. Cirrus is a badass and she would totally love this song as well as every Scary Bitches songs. you might know their most popular song Lesbian Vampyres from Outer Space.
Aether's is a goofy song because Aether is goofy. Scopes just names a bunch of words that include scope, including: telescope and microscope. i think he would generally enjoy Bauhaus cause their music is so fun but also unique.
i could probably do a whole list of songs for some of them, but here’s what i came up with, as a goth who happens to like ghost as well
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