#remove trending topics

[fryingpanpoems]

Okay Tumblr, I've had enough.

I was just scrolling the Nex Benedict tag when I stumbled upon a porn bot. In a tag that really means a lot to a very vulnerable community. Shamelessly. Tagged with not just their name, but a variety of LGBTQ+ tags as well.

Tumblr, we don't want you to remove trans folks for showing the progress of thier bodies.

Tumblr, we don't want you to ban accounts for speaking up about fair treatment.

Tumblr, we don't want you to flag posts on topics that are important to us.

What we want, Tumblr, nay, what we need is for you to stop this from happening. This right here triggers a lot of people and seems very disrespectful to the situation at hand. We need you to start looking into the accounts that unhealthily fetishize our sexualities. We need you to ban the blogs that target trans people just to body shame them. We need you to remove the (bot) posts that invade LGBTQ safe spaces because those tags are trending. We need you to stop destroying the community, and start protecting it.

Tumblr, wake up!

[m4sonn]

✧*̥˚ The outsiders Modern AU Headcanons *̥˚✧

- Credits to @stevelovbot on Tumblr for the inspo for this post! And also credits to my friend @peachyponyboyy who I collaborate with for these!! :3

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬ��ᴵᴺᴳ : Ponyboy

• Is a big fan of the Simpsons and can quote almost any episode word by word.

• Says that The Godfather is his favorite movie ever but it’s actually Mamma Mia. He secretly loves musicals.

• Is the only one with a Tumblr account and he’s pretty active in there.

• Definitely writes fan fiction or character studies in AO3.

•The only person that knows about that and gets to read them is Johnny.

• His pfp always matches Johnny’s in any social media platform.

• When he feels annoyed/pissed by his brothers, he likes signing them up for random ass newsletters and whatnot, making sure they get spammed constantly.

• He loves digital books and owns a Kindle but he feels like nothing compares to real books.

• His bi awakening was watching hunger games with dally and seeing peeta, made things worse when he saw the fnaf movie, he’s just a wh0re for josh hutcherson. (He would’ve made the whistle baby edit /j 😣😣🔥🔥)

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Sodapop

• Is the only one who can actually use TikTok and he’s pretty popular. He loves doing trends with the gang, probably forcing them to do the cinnamon challenge. (they agree bc they're all stupid)

• Loves avocados a lot and gets teased for posting pictures of his meals.

• His favorite game is Assassins Creed but isn’t a big fan of the community and fandom around the game. He just wants to play it and have fun.

•Facetimes the rest of the group whenever he wants, specially Ponyboy and Darry.

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Darry

•He’s the owner of the only Netflix and/or any other streaming accounts of the group and is the one who pays for it. The rest of the gang add their own profiles and watch everything they want. (Or they share one account, there is no inbetween)

• Likes to keep up with the news and current affairs, so he follows a lot of reporters and activists on Twitter and Facebook. He’s subscribed to lots of newsletters for sure.

• Was the biggest football star of his school and got a scholarship thanks to it. He went to college but had to stop playing football eventually due to a freak accident on the field. However, this didn’t sadden him, since he got his diploma and works in things related to football anyways, he works as a coach for the local youth football team.

• His phone password is Ponyboy and soda’s birthdays mixed together.

• He is a big fan of No Doubt, when he found out that they were performing at Coachella, he absolutely lost it and started saving for a ticket immediately. When he went and saw them in the front row he cried, absolutely WEEPED.

• Constant listener of destiny’s child and connects with survivor on a personal level and he’s not scared to admit, you’ll sometimes hear him singing it while he’s doing stuff around the house while listening to music

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Dally

•Has been blocked by multiple celebrities on Twitter AND instagram, on various occasions.

•Is a very big fan of The Hunger Games and one of his favorite characters is Peeta.

•Makes sure to be the first one to text Johnny on his birthday, even if they’re standing next to each other.

•Loves crime/serial killer podcasts and has good knowledge about these topics.

•Hates going to the dentist. There is a very embarrassing video of him being out of it after getting one of his wisdom teeth removed that Johnny recorded (Dally forced Johnny to take him since he was scared).

•Is always listening to music and doesn’t like sharing his earphones unless it’s Johnny.

•Has practiced a lot of sports during his life and his favorite one so far is boxing.

•Got drunk one New Year’s Eve and confessed that Darry was like the brother he wished he had had, and that his New Years Resolution was to make it up to Darry (He never did, since he had forgotten). and nobody has ever let him live it down.

•Secret fanboy of the neighborhood, one time he thought nobody was home and started singing daddy issues at the top of his lungs, two-bit has it on video and never lets him hear the end of it about it.

• Still enjoys stealing and robbing old ladies and young children and still enjoys annoying random pretty girls on the street (so basically still and ahole)

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Johnny

• Wears denim overalls with cute sweaters and loves jackets with lots of pockets.

• Loves spicy food and is the only one in the group who can actually eat it without any problem.

• Has always wanted a puppy or any kind of pet but his situation at home always made it impossible. Because of this, Pony gifted him a goldfish one Christmas and they set the fish tank at the Curtis’ so Johnny could visit it as much as he wanted without risking getting his parents angry.

• He gets really attached to that fish pretty fast and treasures the gesture behind it. Pony and him name is Frost.

• Pony and him use Twitter DM’s just to send memes to each other and store them.

• He has a private Twitter account that only Pony gets to follow.

• Can speak Spanish and French.

•Owns a leather jacket that had been Dally’s a couple of years ago and takes care of it as if it was made of gold.

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Two-Bit

• He’s the reason why Darry had to get a Disney+ account.

• Knows all the songs from Frozen I.

• Wanted to have a mouse as a pet (since…mickey mouse, duh.) for a while but Darry refused.

• He doesn’t admit it, but he loves sweet drinks made of fruits and cocktails more than beer.

• His socks never match and they all have at least one hole in them.

• Is the one that gets the most excited about Christmas. He’s not particularly religious but he loves the decorations, and the lights, and the whole mood in general. He’s the one that always makes sure the rest of the boys have presents, even if it’s something small.

• His first time going to disney world he bawled his eyes out, like full on mental breakdown inside the park, Ponyboy and Sodapop saved up all their birthday money, allowance, and paycheck money for about a year and a half to buy the tickets. (they wanted to get a fast pass and like the entire deluxe trip for him, that's why it took so long.) Ponyboy was SO embarrassed from two-bits crying, “You’re 22, Stop. Crying. Over. Mickey.” but still was happy for him.

ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : Steve

• He tells everyone his top artist is Limp Bizkit but it's actually Queen, his top song was good old fashioned lover boy.

• Wakes up early to watch the F1 races and has never missed a season of Top Gear since he was little. His favorite was Hamilton, but ever since he saw that race with verstappen vs hamilton, his opinions have changed…

• He’s the best at playing video games, and he especially likes horror ones like Resident Evil. (absolute wh0re for Leon Kennedy, i am too tho so no shame)

• Sodapop and him are always playing online together and they sometimes let Ponyboy join them. Him and Sodapop gave ponyboy an unplugged controller once and said it was wireless (for the shitz and giggles and to see how long it took for him to notice), he realized half way through the game and told Darry who then yelled at them for 5 minutes.

• Doesn’t like TikTok and is always going about how Vine was just much better. (He’s stuck in 2014..)

• Gets angry when his texts go unanswered in the group chat (they do it on purpose since they know it pisses him off.)

• He listens to cotton eye joe on repeat, change my mind.

[kateysummers99]

Do you think the WWBM Interacial movement has now got to a critical point where momentum has starting to challenge even the majority of White Women now as far as there choices for relationship ? May we as White Males even lose this group of females to African Men more then we keep ourselves ?

The short answer is definitely yes.

Because of my own personal experiences and also just looking at major social trends, it's pretty obvious that IR relationships (in general, but specifically white girls and black guys) are much more common now than they were 10, 30, and 30 years ago. 

I think there are lots of reasons for this and I’m obviously not an expert (I work in finance, not cultural psychology), but lets just look at the obvious trends:

Girls today are more empowered in general, and especially regarding sexuality and romance. I mention this a lot on this blog, there are less things hold girls back than there used to be. Movies and TV and culture in general are so much more accepting that people can love who they want to love, and that applies especially to society being more accepting of girls expressing their sexuality. I grew up in a time when dating black guys was an obvious but implied no-no, and it's just not the same today. (Note this is NOT true everywhere. Sadly there are racists and homophobes still, but they will probably be holdouts until they die.)

Black men are idolized for their physicality and masculinity by society more and more every day. Sports, music, advertising media, movies, social media and TV shows - you name it, black guys are constantly the icon of masculinity, status and power. This is really true for their masculinity, where we regularly fetishize the sexual prowess of black men in every day culture with phrases like “once you go black you never go back.” 

Porn is free and everywhere. Also something that wasn’t the case when I was growing up, but now you just pick up any cell phone and in a few seconds be privately and anonymously staring at an amazing black man and his huge black cock (or whatever your fantasy is).

Also in the last few years, social justice and institutional racism has become a hot topic, I think a lot of women recognize that the same old white male patriarchy that has been suppressing women since the beginning of time has also been responsible for suppressing Black people. This puts white women and black men on the same side on a pretty deep level, where they see each other in the same existential struggle for happiness against the common enemy that is old white guys.

Another interesting thing that I've read reports about is more and more young white guys who are essentially "staying single" forever, sometimes due to porn addiction. They make a sexual connection with porn that is easy and judgment free, which is the opposite of the real-world dating situation where they deal with complex social dynamics and competition (including trying to compete against more masculine black men who are constantly in movies and music).

So if that's a growing tend... then young women find themselves more free in choosing partners, society idolizing black guys, exposed to IR sex and porn, and more culturally aligned with black guys… and young white guys basically removing themselves from the dating pool.

As for me personally, I have always thought think black guy / white girl couples are the most beautiful -- there's a special passion and primal attraction that goes deep down that you just don't see with other couples.

So yes, I think black guy and white girl couples are definitely more and more popular. I don’t think we’ll ever get to a point where all white men are unwanted forever (sorry white boys who message me, desperate to live in such a world), but I do think increasingly empowered girls and wider acceptance of female sexuality will naturally trend to more black guys and white girls together - which is all beautiful to me :)

[wirsindkrieg]

Person ≠ Human = Person

(For clarity, that title should be read as "Person does not equal Human equals Person".)

I've seen a fair few posts over the years I've been involved in the community where someone gets upset by the use of "people" as an umbrella term, generally also claiming that "person" refers exclusively to humans, and therefore the term excludes non-humans.

That is wrong, and it shows that there is a very important conversation that should be happening but isn't.

First thing's first, [this] is the Wikipedia article on "Personhood". I'm going to recommend reading it in full, but if you don't have time or don't want to, the most relevant parts for this are the opening paragraphs (up to the "Philosophy" header) and the sub-headings "Non-human animals" and "Hypothetical beings", both under the "Debates" heading. Those sections should provide some insight into what I'm going to be talking about here, and give you an idea of that conversation that should be happening.

With that out of the way, let's talk about what it means to be a "person", and why it's wrong to claim that it's synonymous with "human". The state of being a "person" (that is, personhood) is less of a biological classification and more of a social one. A person is someone who is deserving of basic rights and decency, which I would hope we can all agree is not a category exclusive to humans. Exactly where the line between "person" and "non-person" lies has been debated extensively for a very, very long time, but there is at least one solid standard that everyone should be able to agree with:

A person is a sapient, thinking being capable of recognizing itself as being a person.

If you are reading this right now, I'm going to assume that you meet that definition, which makes you a person, and that is a good thing. It means you are a being which deserves basic rights like the ability to engage with society, own property, and exercise your free will. Saying you're not a "person" because you're non-human is saying that you shouldn't get to enjoy those basic rights, and that you should not be included in society and allowed to act as an independent being.

All humans are people, but that does not mean that all people are human. And it's worth noting that declaring categories of humans as not being people has been an important part of excusing the removal of basic rights from them. You see it in the way that slaves were talked about prior to the practice being outlawed, and in the way that fascists talk about the groups that they think should be killed en masse. Declaring those groups as not being "people" dehumanizes them, not because being a person means being human, but because being human means also being a person.

There very clearly needs to be an ongoing conversation in the community about non-human personhood, because it is a topic with a long history, with strong points made in favour of including all manner of non-humans under the umbrella of "person". This ongoing trend of declaring oneself to not be a person because of non-humanity is, put bluntly, foolish at best and actively dangerous at worst. Everyone has personhood. It came free with your being a sapient being, capable of thought and self-reflection.

And bonus conversation topic: The reason that anti-kin and related groups do the whole, "Oh, you're not human? Does that mean I can treat you like an animal?" bit is because they don't see non-humans as having personhood. Consider how it would affect how they approach our communities if they were open to the concept of non-human personhood, and how that could further benefit the community as a whole.

Discuss.

[anthurak]

Continuing on the topic of the possibility of a Charlie/Vaggie/Emily polycule*, I thought I’d discuss a few other thoughts on why these three could totally work together:

Assuming that Vaggie was originally human, and perhaps has even ‘become’ human again in a way with the removal of her wings, then these three together could represent an interesting thematic ‘trinity’ bridging Hell and Heaven: We have a Demon (Charlie), a Human (Vaggie) and an Angel (Emily) all coming together.

Next, and this could have some interesting implications for the next two episodes if we get a B-plot focused on Vaggie, given just how SIMILAR Charlie and Emily are, if Vaggie had to spend any amount of time with Emily, you can’t tell me she wouldn’t start falling for Emily too. Or that Vaggie trying to stay angry/jealous of Emily and failing miserably wouldn’t be completely hilarious.

Additionally, you know how Charlie’s and Vaggie’s character designs are clearly meant to subvert a lot of traditional gender norms? Like how Charlie is has a lot traditionally feminine/‘girly’ personality traits like being super upbeat, cheerful, friendly and kind, yet dresses exclusively in masculine clothes and is taller than her partner, while Vaggie has a lot of traditionally masculine/butch personality traits yet wears much more feminine clothing and is the shorter of the pair? Well imagine if Emily ends up following this trend if/when she joins Charlie and Vaggie in Hell?

Like say, Fallen-Angel!Emily ends up going PURE emo/goth/punk look, while of course remaining exactly the same upbeat, cheerful cinnamon roll just like Charlie that she was before. And maybe cheerfully dropping f-bombs left and right because she can swear now and thinks cussing is really fun!

*Speaking of which, have we settled on a ship name for these three yet? I realize ‘Chaggiem’ works well enough (and sounds amusingly similar to ‘requiem’ of all things) but personally I think ‘Unholy Trinity’ is pretty good. Alternatively, ‘Two and a Half Halos’.

[thatsonemorbidcorvid]

why is headless women art bad? i can see why it's seen as objectifying but why is it such a big deal to make art out of the female form? (sorry if i sound agressive this is a genuine question)

Hi anon! You certainly don’t sound aggressive - I’m actually very grateful for the opportunity to collate my current thoughts in one place, so thank you for the prompt. I’m going to try my hardest to keep this short.

For any women who haven’t seen posts on this topic previously, some examples of the ‘headless women art’ trend I’ve been talking about for a while now are below. They’re often missing their limbs, at various points of amputation, as well as all or part of their heads (if she has her eyes, I generally don’t count it). Sometimes their heads have been ‘replaced’ with other objects, typically plants or mushrooms, though I wouldn’t count a woman with an animal or bird’s head. They’re often naked.

So, per Anon’s question, why is it a ‘big deal’?

I mean, really, it’s not. It’s an absolutely minuscule deal - it’s as dwarfed by the issues of the sex industry, femicide, and systemic sex inequality, as we are by the Sun. And yet, much as our bodies are made of particles formed in dying stars, I see elements of the large within the small… ok, I’m not getting poetic.

It’s not a big deal, and I don’t necessarily think it’s wholly terrible either, which is why in my analysis posts on the topic I try to ask questions more than criticise, and criticise gently when I do so. What it comes down to is that I spotted a pattern, and wanted to acknowledge that pattern, think about it, and ask other women for their thoughts on it.

With that said, there are certain things that I question particularly, and have seen other women question, which I’ll list:

Remove her legs and she can’t run, remove her arms and she can’t fight, remove her mouth and she can’t shout, and remove her eyes and she can’t look back at you. You totally disempower her when you remove almost every body part capable of action.

By removing her head you also remove her brain (her personality and internal identity), and her face (her visible external identity). By anonymising her you strip her of her individuality, and depict all female people as a result - so what message are you sending about all female people with your depiction of us, naked and dismembered?

A (living) woman’s neutral existence requires her to have her head. By removing it, you are making an active choice to step away from the neutral (and it’s on you to defend that choice), and you are also by necessity depicting a dead woman. You ask about ‘art out of the female form’ - the living female form has a head. Why remove it?

The simplest test of whether something might be sexist, is to see whether it applies to men and women equally. Are (straight) men decorating their homes with ‘bits’ of male bodies? Do men in general feel conscious enough of, yet alienated enough from, the appearance of their bodies that they seek out their representation, sans heads, to reflect back at them? Why not, if women are? Would it be strange if they did?

As a follow up, since many of these pieces are made by women (often straight women), are (straight) men often focusing their artistic output on depicting ‘bits’ of male bodies? Do men regularly choose to create art intended to depict the ‘beauty’ of the male form? If not, why not?

You mention objectification - what links are there between objectification and violence? Could self-objectification be used to normalise violence against the self, or even excuse it? What about violence against others who are like the self (ie violence against other women)?

As I say, I’m not necessarily saying this artistic trend is exclusively a bad one, or that people/women in particular shouldn’t be decorating their homes however they please. It’s just something I’ve noted and found interesting, and like many apparently free choices, I think feminist women have a responsibility to interrogate their own and others’ motivations.

This is a hasty overview, and I’ve probably missed things - I’ll reblog with additions if I think of any, but you can also see my previous posts on this topic, and other women’s contributions, under my “Headless Women Art” tag. Thanks again for the question!

[kyra45]

In regards to the current stuff going on regarding Palestinian fundraisers, I will reiterate the criteria I use when checking the blogs of accounts that I may see when browsing things:

1. Is the url auto-generated? - This isn’t a go to tactic, but a very common thing among scam blogs. Their url is almost always auto generated by tumblr. However, legitimate accounts can have this too! As I have seen verified accounts who have this.

2. Does the post state who verified it? - Sometimes in red text the blog claims to be vetted/verified but fails to state anywhere in the post who vetted it or who verified it. It’s often in large text format at the very top of the post ending in exclamation marks. There have been two cases where these blogs listed who vetted them but then removed it when found out to be lying. A third used a made up username.

3. Is there PayPal or gfm link? - Not every gfm link is a scam, nor is every PayPal link a scam as some can be legit. However, a private PayPal donation pool with a Kenyan sounding name isn’t very likely to be a Palestinian. Also a linktree claiming to be gfm generally is just a PayPal link sometimes.

4. How old is the pinned post? - Turn on timestamps and see the post date. Is it recent or old? Usually it’s a few hours old.

5. Are there other posts? - Most blogs have more than one original post and more than a few reblogs of posts that aren’t from trending topics.

6. Searched the username/post? - If looking up the url, what do you see? Usually there will be posts answering the asks that may link to any verification from well known blogs or posts calling out the account. If searching the text of the post, it could pull up the source.

7. Come to a conclusion based on what is found during research but also pay attention to any details that are in the post itself. Try to ensure any warning explains the reasoning behind suspicion but leave it up to others to look it up on their own as well.

[zvtara-was-never-canon]

https://www.tumblr.com/irresistible-revolution/633688280720916480/fanon-ships-and-the-alpha-male-x-cinderella

thoughts?

I personally would not go that far, at least on most cases. I'd say that the trend of women insisting the Bad Boy type is actually far kinder and more respectful towards the Main Girl than the Good Guy is a combination of two things:

1 - The sexist belief that women who like the "wrong" kind of romance are too stupid to know that some things should be fantasy only and not a model for real life relationships.

2 - The annoying trend of the past decades of people having to pretend nothing about the things they personally like can be kinky, or even genuinely problematic, otherwise they'd be admiting to being bad people.

It's purity culture. It's the assumption of "I am capable of crytical thinking, you are not." Plain and simple.

Some people just get horny for villains/morally dubious characters, are aware that they will be judged for it - and instead of just going "Fuck you, you don't have the right to judge me because of a goddamn fantasy" they try to argue "Actually, YOUR fantasy is the one that is actually problematic, sexist, racist, elitist, heteronormative and panders to the EVIL Male Gaze, while MY fantasy is secretly empowering and subversive and designed to be enjoyed by enlightened girlbosses because it is made with the Wholesome Female Gaze in mind."

Zutarians, for all their talk of wanting a complicated, mature, adult romance for their ship, are actually fucking terrified of the more messy aspects of their own fantasies, and instead of getting over that complex (or removing them through AUs) and having their fun, they defend themselves from bad faith criticism by attacking people first.

That's why they deem Aang a rapist for the Ember Island kiss and call Kataang fans abuse apologists for it, but constantly sexualize the scene of Zuko tying Katara to a tree. That's why they complain that Katara was reduced to "Aang's trophy-wife and airbender breeder" but write AUs where Katara is literally Zuko's sex slave. Why they complain about the supposed "power imbalance" due to Kataang's two year age gap, but don't say a word about Zutara's two year age gap. Why they insist that Kataang fans are all males projecting onto Aang (because projecting onto a guy is inherently bad) while Zutara fans are all women "connecting" with Katara (because projecting onto a girl is inherently good). Why they label Aang as intolerant of Katara's culture for not liking the food, but will throw a fit if people point out that Zuko, and his entire family and nation, legit wanted wanted Katara dead, or at least subjugated, because of her race.

It's a CLASSIC cope and pure proejction. I like tons of Villain X Hero ships, and I see that bullshit all the time. People feel some kind of guilt or shame over being into a character that is a "bad person", even though that is a morally neutral thing, so they twist the narrative until it fits into a pseudo-feminist idea of an "empowering" fantasy for women.

Zutarians claiming that their ship, that only exists because of rape fics, is actually NOT based on highly kinky shit (namely Male Domination/Female Submission with bonus of dubcon/noncon and race play) but rather just on the vague/nonsensical concept of the "Female Gaze" is no different than a bunch of Game of Thrones/HOTD fans, and even the excutives and writers, pretending that 50% the rapes and 90% of the age-inappropriate and/or incestuous relationships aren't just George R.R. Martin (and themselves) having fetishes.

Both are morally neutral and should just be honest about when they are genuinely exploring a dark topic and when they're just getting off on a kinky fantasy. But being honest about it doesn't give zutarians an excuse to act morally superior, so they just stick to their double-standard and purity policing.

[changes]

Friday, April 21st, 2023

🌟 New

The ability to Blaze other people’s posts is out to everyone.

In the iOS app, everyone will now be able to scroll to see related content in the lightbox when tapping an image in a post.

We removed the “New” labels next to Blaze, Tumblr Live, and TumblrMart in the dropdown menu on web because these things aren’t really new anymore.

When using Tumblr in a browser on a mobile device, new activity notifications are now highlighted in the menu.

🛠 Fixed

Version 29.1 of the Android app fixes the issue where GIFs and images in posts could be very small.

We fixed an issue where blogs in your follower list could be repeated.

The “Recently visited blogs” carousel now excludes blogs you’ve reported.

On web, we fixed an issue where the carousel of blog recommendations on the “Blog Subscriptions” dashboard tab would disappear when resizing your browser window.

On web, we fixed an issue in the trending topics carousel where clicking the left arrow to scroll back would scroll you all the way back to the very first item. Now it matches the behavior of the right arrow, scrolling one column at a time.

We fixed a crash that could sometimes occur when creating a post in Firefox.

On web, we fixed an issue where the wrong option would be highlighted when hovering over an option in the text formatting menu in the post editor.

We fixed an issue where disallowing other people Blazing your posts would also prevent you from Blazing your own posts.

🚧 Ongoing

The aforementioned issue in the Android app which could cause the wrong image to be loaded into the lightbox when tapping on an image in a post is mostly fixed, but there are still a few areas where it can occur. We’re working to solve the root cause in an upcoming app version.

🌱 Upcoming

Nothing to mention here today.

Experiencing an issue? File a Support Request and we’ll get back to you as soon as we can!

Want to share your feedback about something? Check out our Work in Progress blog and start a discussion with the community.

[drewsbuzzcut]

any TikTok trend with Dallas and nick

The Tampon Prank

Nick moldenhauer x dallas blankenburg

a so it goes blurb

warnings: talks of periods and tampons

“Baby?” Dallas calls for Nick from her restroom, her voice high pitched to sound urgent.

“Yes?” He peers around the corner, hand resting on the doorframe above his head.

Oh he looks so good with his hair curly and sweatpants low on his hips. His chest is bare and now Dallas wants to forget her question and take him to bed.

She shakes her head to rid herself of those pesky, dirty thoughts.

“My tampon is stuck. I can’t pull it out, so I need you to pull it out for me,” she requests, shyly smiling but also trying to hide her giggles.

He freezes for a hot minute, eyes flitting everywhere in Dallas’ restroom and to her body. He opens and closes his mouth, lost for words.

“You need me to pull the stringy thingy attached to your tampon, because you can’t find it? If you can’t find it, how am I supposed to find it?” He asks, almost shocked.

“I need someone to go down there and look for the string so you can pull it out for me, and I know no one else will do it for me,” she states with a look of impatience and annoyance.

“No one else is going to look at you there,” Nick claims.

Dallas walks up to the hockey player, wrapping her arms around his waist and placing her chin on his chest.

“I know, baby. That’s why I need you to go down there and pull it for me even though it’s going to be bloody and messy,” she bats her eyes at him.

“Okay, I will, but you’re not on your period,” he says.

Shit. He knows her too well.

“Yes, I am,” she lies, hiding in his chest so he can’t see her face.

“No, you are not. If you were, I’d know. There’s no star on your calendar, no tampons on the counter, and you’re being nice to me,” he states matter of factly, his hands rubbing down her back and to her ass.

“Nick! I hate you for knowing me, and I’m always nice to you,” Dallas pouts and removes her phone from its hidden spot.

“I love you,” he pulls her back into his arms, kissing on her neck.

“I love you. Would you really pull out my tampon for me?” She asks more sincerely this time.

“Yeah,” he says with a deep sigh.

“Awe you really do love me,” the girl jumps into his arms and kisses on his face until he throws her on her bed.

“Yeah, I really do,” he silences her response with a kiss, the whole topic being quickly forgotten.

a/n: Sorry this took so long, but hope you enjoy!

[wolverinesorcery]

UNBLENDING CELTIC POLYTHEISTIC PRACTICES

Celtic Umbrella

This lesson is largely focusing on the insular Celtic nations & Brittany (Ireland/Eire, Scotland/Alba, Wales/Cymru, Cornwall/Kernow, Isle of Man/Mannin, & Brittany/Breizh) - traditionally regarded as 6 out of the 7 Celtic nations. Galicia/Galizia is the 7th, but because of a mix of the below + my own lack of knowledge, I won't be covering them.

The vast swath of Continental Celtic cultures are a different but equally complex topic thanks to extinction, revival, varying archaeological artefacts and the work of modern practioners to piece unknown parts back together.

This will serve as a quick 'n' dirty guide to the insular Celtic nations, Celtic as a label, blood percentages and ancestry, the whats and whys of "Celtic soup", and how to unblend practice.

The insular Celtic groups are split into two language groups: Brythonic languages and Gaelic languages.

Brythonic languages are Cymraeg/Welsh, Kernewek/Cornish, & Breton

Gaelic languages are Gàidhlig/Scottish, Gaeilge/Irish, & Gaelg/Manx.

The language split leads to certain folkloric and religious figures & elements being more common within the language group than without. All of these nations had historic cultural exchange and trade routes via the Celtic sea (and beyond). Despite this, it is still important to respect each as a home to distinct mythologies.

Pros/Cons of a broad Celtic umbrella

Pros

- Used within celtic nations to build solidarity - Relates to a set of cultures that have historic cultural exchange & broad shared experiences - A historic group category - Celtic nations’ culture is often protected under broad legislation that explicitly highlights its ‘Celtic-ness’.

Cons

- Can be used reductively (in academia & layman uses) - Often gives in to the dual threat of romanticisation/fetishisation & erasure - Conflates a lot of disparate practices under one banner - Can lead to centring ‘celtic american’ experiences. - Celtic as a broad ancestral category (along with associated symbols) has also been co-opted by white supremacist organisations.

In this I’m using ‘Celtic’ as a broad umbrella for the multiple pantheons! This isn’t ideal for specifics, but it is the fastest way to refer to the various pantheons of deities that’ll be referenced within this Q&A (& something that I use as a self identifier alongside Cornish).

What about blood % or ancestry?

A blood percentage or claimed Celtic ancestry is NOT a requirement to be a follower of any of the Celtic pantheons. The assumption that it does or is needed to disclose can feed easily into white supremacist narratives and rhetoric, along side the insidious implications that a white person in the USA with (perceived or real) Celtic ancestry is 'more celtic' than a person of colour living in a Celtic region (along with other romanticised notions of homogenously white cultures).

Along side this, a blood percentage or distant ancestry does not impart the culture and values of the Celtic region or it's recorded pagan practices by itself. Folk traditions are often passed down within families, but blood percentage is not a primary factor within this.

Connecting with ancestry is fine, good, and can be a fulfilling experience. It stops being beneficial when it leads to speaking over people with lived experiences & centres the USA-based published and authors - which can lead to blending/souping for reasons further on.

What is 'soup'?

Celtic soup is a semi-playful term coined by several polytheists (primarily aigeannagusacair on wordpress) to describe the phenomenon of conflating & combining all the separate pantheons and practices from the (mainly) insular Celtic nations into one singular practice - removing a lot of the regionalised folklore, associated mythos, & varying nuances of the nations that make up the soup.

Why does it happen?

The quick version of this is book trends and publishing meeting romanticisation and exotification of Celtic cultures (especially when mixed with pre-lapsarian views of the Nations). It's miles easier to sell a very generally titled book with a lot of Ireland and a little of everywhere else than it is to write, source and publish a separate book on each.

This is where centering American publishers and authors becomes an issue - the popular trend of USA-based pagan publications to conflate all celtic nations makes it hard to find information on, for example, Mannin practices because of the USA’s tendency to dominate media. Think of Llewellyn’s “Celtic Wisdom” series of books.

It has also been furthered by 'quick research guides'/TL;DR style posts based on the above (which have gained particular momentum on tumblr).

The things that have hindered the process in unblending/"de souping" is the difficulty in preserving independently published pamphlets/books from various nations (often more regionalised and immediately local than large, sweeping books generalising multiple practices) along with the difficulty of accessing historic resources via academic gatekeeping.

All of this has lead to a lack of awareness of the fact there is no, one, singular Celtic religion, practice or pantheon.

Why should I de-soup or unblend my practice?

Respecting the deities

It is, by and large, considered the bare minimum to understand and research a deity's origin and roots. The conflation of all insular Celtic deities under one singular unified pantheon can divorce them from their original cultures and contexts - the direct opposite to understanding and researching.

Folklore and myth surrounding various Celtic deities can be highly regionalised both in grounded reality and geomythically - these aren't interchangeable locations and are often highly symbolic within each nation.

Brú na Bóinne, an ancient burial mound in Ireland, as an entrance to the otherworld of the Tuatha Dé Danann.

Carn Kenidjack & the Gump as a central site of Cornish folk entities feasts and parties, including Christianised elements of Bucca’s mythology.

The Mabinogion includes specific locations in Wales as well as broad Kingdoms - it’s implied that Annwn is somewhere within the historic kingdom of Dyfed, & two otherworldly feasts take place in Harlech & Ynys Gwales.

Conflating all celtic pantheons under one banner often leads to the prioritisation of the Irish pantheon, meaning all of the less ‘popular’ or recorded deities are sidelined and often left unresearched (which can lead to sources & resources falling into obscurity and becoming difficult to access).

Respecting the deities

Deities, spirits, entities, myth & folklore are often culturally significant both historically and to modern day people (just average folks along with practitoners/pagans/polytheists and organisations) located in the various Nations

A primary example is the initiatory Bardic orders of Wales and Cornwall.

Desouping/Unblending makes folklorist's lives easier as well as casual research less difficult to parse. The general books are a helpful jumping off point but when they constitute the bulk of writing on various Celtic polytheisms, they become a hinderance and a harm in the research process.

A lot of mythology outside of deities & polytheisms is also a victim of ‘souping' and is equally as culturally significant - Arthurian mythology is a feature of both Welsh and Cornish culture but is often applied liberally as an English mythology & and English figure.

Celtic nations being blended into one homogenous group is an easy way to erase cultural differences and remove agency from the people living in celtic nations. Cornwall is already considered by a large majority of people to be just an English county, and many areas of Wales are being renamed in English for the ease of English tourists.

How can I de-soup?

Chase down your sources' sources, and look for even more sources

Check your sources critically. Do they conflate all pantheons as one? Do they apply a collective label (the celts/celts/celt/celtic people) to modern day Celtic nations? How far back in history do they claim to reach?

Research the author, are they dubious in more ways than one? Have they written blog articles you can access to understand more of their viewpoints? Where are they located?

Find the people the author cites within their work - it can be time consuming but incredibly rewarding and can also give a good hint at the author's biases and research depth. You may even find useful further reading!

Find primary sources (or as close too), or translations of the originating folklore, e.g The Mabinogion. Going to the source of a pantheon’s mythos and folklore can be helpful in discerning where soup begins in more recent books as well as gaining insight into deities' actions and relationships.

Ask lots of questions

Question every source! Question every person telling you things that don't define what pantheon or region they’re talking about! Write all your questions down and search for answers! Talk to other polytheists that follow specific Celtic pantheons, find where your practices naturally overlap and where they have been forced into one practice by authors!

Be honest with yourself

There’s no foul in spreading your worship over several pantheons that fall under the celtic umbrella! A lot of polytheists worship multiple pantheons! But be aware of the potential for soup, and make sure you’re not exclusively reading and working from/with sources that conflate all practices as one.

If you approach any Celtic polytheistic path with the attitude of blood percentage or 'ancestral right', stop and think critically about why you want to follow a Celtic polytheistic path. Is it because it's the most obviously 'open' path to follow? Is it a desire to experience what other folks experience? Being critical, turning inward, and really looking at yourself is important. Originally posted in the Raven's Keep discord server

[yuurei20]

Cater Info Compilation part 1: Secret Inner Life

We are given several hints that there is more depth to Cater than he wants people to know about. His lab wear vignette is particularly interesting: tasked with infusing mandrakes with magic, Vil, Lilia and Cater agree to “make mandrakes that are totally on-brand” for themselves.

Cater’s first attempt is “an ultra-pink mandrake with big, round eyes”. Vil expresses surprise, saying “I never knew your tastes trended so feminine, Cater”, but Cater insists that they don’t: it is the influence of his two older sisters.

“In the Diamond household, everything’s judged by one simple question: ‘But is it cute?’. Day in and day out, no matter what I did, if it wasn’t cute, it didn’t cut the mustard! Drawings, handicrafts, store-bought sweets, you name it! So I guess I’ve got ‘make it cute’ burned into my brain as a first instinct.”

(This is why the word “cute” comes up so often in Cater’s original dialogue, which NA sometimes removes or rewrites, despite being a significant character trait.)

This also possible connects to Firelit Sky where Jamil notices that Cater isn’t buying any souvenirs for himself. Based on Cater’s name brand phone case and bag, he recommends a shop more for locals than tourists, and a salmon pink scarf.

When Cater explains “It’s not really a color I usually go for…” (due to how cuteness has been imposed onto him his entire life), Jamil explains that he “thought a softer color suited (Cater’s) personality”, as he is “so friendly and easy to get along with."

Jamil says, "You give off a gentle vibe….I’ve been grateful for your and Trey’s steadying presence today.” Cater is surprised, saying “That’s really how I come off?…I didn’t know you saw me that way”, but ultimately does buy the scarf.)

Cater’s next mandrake has “a deep crimson coloration with a card pattern” that “almost looks like it’s holding a guitar”, but his third mandrake is described as “hugging its knees and huddling in place”. Lilia comments, “Perhaps Cater’s sunny disposition belies a morose side that the rest of us never see”, but Cater insists that they he is “reading too much into this”. Cater successfully presents three mandrakes, “a skipping one, a flashy, bright-red one…and one rolling on the table laughing”.

When Vil says that he saw Cater make more than the three required for the assignment, Cater insists that they are the only ones he has. When Crewel calls Cater out for socializing in class Vil and Lilia claim he “should take class more seriously”, despite being equally guilty (“The key to being a good performer is knowing when to leave the stage”).

Cater defends himself by presenting three more mandrakes that he had been trying to hide, saying, “It just doesn’t say Cay-Cay if it’s not happy enough to life people’s spirits”.

Cater says he is “a party boy at heart”, but also, “Just between you and me, keeping a smile plastered on my face for hours on end at a party is a exhausting. Ah, just kidding there, really!” and “You wanna know more about me, huh? I can’t go giving away ALL my secrets.”

In a voice line Silver says “Cater’s very cheery and upbeat…which is why the sinister expression he wore in costume sent a chill down my spine”. Trey says, “Cater won’t stop asking me if there’s a trick to growing taller. I keep telling him I have no idea, but he never gives up", insinuating that his height might be a sensitive topic for Cater.

He has a voice line that says, “Sometimes I’ve got no clue what’s going through your head. Whaddya mean, “pot, meet kettle”? I’m plenty easy to understand!”

[reasoningdaily]

Florida leads the nation in book bans.

It had more than double the bans of No. 2 Texas, according to a new report by national free speech group PEN America.

The report found 3,362 instances of books banned across the nation in the 2022-23 school year, up 33% from the previous one. Forty percent of those were courtesy of Florida school districts.

"Over two years, there's a pretty clear trend line of this getting worse, and this is becoming normalized," said Jonathan Friedman, PEN America's director of free expression and education programs. "I think the situation in Florida is really just escalating to a place that feels almost unimaginable to a year ago."

A year ago...

School districts across Florida have purged titles from their library shelves since DeSantis signed the Curriculum Transparency Act last year. It came as COVID-19 controversies brought more attention to what was happening in schools, especially from conservative activists and groups like Moms for Liberty. 

As local chapters spring up across the state and nation, Moms for Liberty has become one of the leading voices trying to remove “inappropriate” books from schools.

DeSantis touted the law as a way to increase parental involvement in education and prevent "indoctrination."  It requires districts to catalog every book they offer and put a formal review process in place for complaints

Then came House Bill 1069, which took effect July 1, further creating wildly-varyinginterpretations on what books should be removed from schools — and putting in question even more books. The law requires school districts to remove within five days any book challenged for including pornography or sexual conduct until the complaint is resolved.

Also coming into play over the last two years are state laws prohibiting instruction on sexual orientation or gender identity in school. School districts have removed books citing that law, though Florida Attorney General Ashley Moody recently said it doesn't apply to books.

A look at the books

The Florida Department of Education recently released a list that school districts removed 386 book removals from 1,218 total objections last year.

But those are just titles that school boards decided to remove after receiving objections. PEN America's report goes beyond that and says state school districts banned 1,406. That's up from 566 last year.

The group's definition of a school book ban: "Any action taken against a book based on its content and as a result of parent or community challenges, administrative decisions, or in response to direct or threatened action by lawmakers or other governmental officials, that leads to a previously accessible book being either completely removed from availability to students, or where access to a book is restricted or diminished."

The list included books that were removed following official objections as well as unofficial ones, such as from concerned emails. The biggest portion of listed banned books are ones school districts removed pending a review of its content.

More than three quarters of books banned across the nation were books meant for younger audiences, like young adult, middle grade and picture books.

Nearly half of banned books included instances of violence or physical abuse, according to the report. Books with topics on student health and wellbeing made up 42%, and a third depicted sexual experiences.

Books with characters of color and themes or race and racism made up 30%. So did titles with LGTBQ characters or themes.

"Hyperbolic and misleading rhetoric about 'porn in schools,' 'sexually explicit,' 'harmful,' and 'age inappropriate' materials led to the removal of thousands of books covering a range of topics and themes for young audiences," reads the report. "Overwhelmingly, book bans target books on race or racism or featuring characters of color, as well as books with LGBTQ+ characters."

Federal lawmakers bicker on book bans:U.S. Senate hearing takes on book bans; Democrats highlight DeSantis' Florida policies

How one group goes after school books:Rockin' and rollin' with book challenges: Internal emails show Moms for Liberty plans

Context on the culture wars

What books should be on school shelves has been not only a question but a pivotal battle in Florida — and national — culture wars.

It’s far from resolved. The two sides can't even agree on the term "book ban."

This was highlighted during a United States Senate Judiciary Committee hearing from earlier this month.

“To put it bluntly, books aren’t being banned,” said Max Eden, one of the Republicans' witnesses and a research fellow for the American Enterprise Institute. 

Eden, who has done research disputing book ban claims, pointed to how removed books could still be purchased on Amazon. He said that most of the books claimed to be banned by national book access advocates are still in school libraries. 

But, for books that are removed, he said communities have to draw a line somewhere. He went on to read an explicit passage from “All Boys Aren’t Blue,” a memoir and manifesto by George M. Johnson, who reflects on growing up Black and queer. It’s listed as one of the nation’s most banned books by PEN America.

DeSantis has taken a similar tack in responding to the controversy. 

He’s maintained that the idea of book bans across Florida, which have made many headlines, is a "hoax." Conversely, though, he’s bashed books that have been recently restricted in public schools as pornographic, violent or otherwise inappropriate.

“Exposing the ‘book ban’ hoax is important because it reveals that some are attempting to use our schools for indoctrination,” DeSantis said in a statement. “In Florida, pornographic and inappropriate materials that have been snuck into our classrooms and libraries to sexualize our students violate our state education standards."

[matchesarelit]

Imagine If You Will... (Presentations, Neal Sampat x gn!Reader)

Neal always made the best presentations, and you'd never say no to catching another one even if it took over your dinner break... although it doesn't hurt that you're totally into him.

Warnings: Drunkenness (not Neal or Reader), Conspiracy theories (one made up by me), cursing, Jim and Maggie being annoying will-they-wont-they (S1-esque), teasing (non-sexual), mentions of sex ('bone', 'sleep with'), talk of making someone jealous (Maggie) W.C: ~3.5k A/N: wrote this for myself cause the thought would not leave my mind, a bit all over the place tbh

For a Tuesday, the bar you work at was insanely packed, well for any other bar that is. The karaoke bar often found itself full on the most random of days, thanks to the News Night team that often poured in not long after nine. There must have been some serious stress up in the newsroom today, the usual crowd had ran through their happy hour left overs in minutes and were putting away drinks faster than you could open, pour or mix.

Well, almost all of the crowd.

A few tired faces sipped slowly, all but completely removed from the jovial air of the night. Predictably a small table of higher ups had tucked themselves away from the younger employees but for once they seemed at least content, relieved that the day was done.

The aforementioned younger employees were singing along to whomever was on stage, laughing and having what seemed to be a great time.

The most jubilant of all however was practically frothing holding in a ted talk up one end of the bar, Neal had all but skipped in around twenty after nine and slammed his laptop onto the bar. His palms drummed against the device as he sat waiting for your attention to catch on him, he'd prepared yet another presentation that he was more than eager to share.

There had been over a dozen presentations since he'd first caught you off guard with his Bigfoot conspiracy around six months prior, and you'd been intrigued (and smitten) pretty much ever since he'd taken a breath after the speech to introduce himself.

When you'd finished serving the small line you'd gained, you pulled a tray of glasses over to the corner where he'd stationed himself, setting yourself up to begin polishing as he spoke, you waited a moment before meeting his eyes.

'What do you have for me today?'

His smile grew ever wider as he began to ramble, shooting up from his stool, hands wild as always.

'There is a man on the edge of Texas who swears up and down that he witnessed an alien abduction,'

'That's crazy everyone knows-' You kept your voice monotone but the corners of your mouth pulled back as you watched the perpetual motion machine in front of you gearing up, giving away your interest.

'Yes! Exactly! No one gets abducted in Texas, but this runs in a long series of the general trend moving south towards the equator and-'

'Neal' Grabbing his attention with a call of his name and a soft hand stilling his frozen in the air you attempted to slow the speeding train, 'Don't spoil it! Wait for my break!'

Your enthusiasm wasn't new, and thankfully even after you asked him to delay his presentation, he had learned over time that you were truly interested.

Neal was a marvel, he had a way of making topics interesting no matter how absurd or irrelevant they were. Well... Most of the time. Not even his skills could make the discussion of 'Decentralized disingenuous rip-off architectural styles of the 22nd century' an enjoyable way to spend your half hour break... and yet you had sat there and engaged him nonetheless, forced as it may have been.

Yanking the laptop to his chest, he nodded vigorously, muttering out a string of 'of course'-s until he tripped slightly, steadied himself and wandered cautiously off in the direction of his friends.

Continuing the task at hand, you failed to notice someone saddling themselves in the recently abandoned stool and staring intently at the top of your lowered head, until, of course, they cleared their throat.

'Sorry, how can I- Oh hi Jim, what can I get you?' Jim had introduced himself a while back, and given the amount of mopey nights he spent sat at the bar you'd spoken quite a bit. You'd given him the bartender therapy treatment time and time again to no prevail, conceding not too long ago that maybe you'd just leave him be, outside of pouring his drinks.

Strangely enough he seemed caught off guard by the question, stuttering out a brand name somewhat absentmindedly, before falling silent.

'So, what's on your mind?' Placing the beer in front of him and retrieving fresh glass, you began to polish it to really finish the picture.

Glancing back to his group of friends, you followed his gaze, Maggie was sitting with the others but her mind was clearly elsewhere. Letting a groan slip past your lips you set your gaze back on the man in front of you. You'd heard your fair share about the pair of them, from the pair themselves, from Neal and on occasion from a drunken Mackenzie.

'Really? what a surprise! Christ! just make a move!'

'But I cant Sh-'

'They broke up' you cut him off, eyes narrowed in his direction

'Still... I can't- She doesn't thin-'

'Jesus fuck Ji-' This time It was a new voice that interrupted your own interruption,

'If you wanna know how she feels, just make her jealous'

'N-no I-that's not-' Your own stutter was ignored this time as Jim's eyes lit up at the woman's remark.

'Do you really think that'll work Mac?'

'No of course not... its just the plot of every romantic comedy for no reason.' Her sarcasm was about as thick as the idea itself was, this was a recipe for dumb-ass-ery for sure and something you wanted no part in. So you searched for the eyes of another customer, desperate, for the first time, to return to your job as you stepped away from the pair.

'Would you help me?' Ignoring him in hopes he was talking to he woman by his side you cursed the lack of a line, until with a call of your name he repeated his question.

Whirling back to him your face traversed the range of outraged expressions in the milliseconds it took to take the step, before settling on one of exaggerated disbelief.

'No way.' The simple dismissal had his head dropping onto the table, whereas Mac seemed undeterred. A hand, unknowingly heavy in tipsy lack of focus, slapped the back of his head in an attempt at comfort as she set a half hearted scowl on you.

'Why not? They just need a little bit of help,' Rolling your eyes at the push, you took a breath.

The pair needed more than a little help, they needed a truckload, and from what you've heard and witness in the bar, they'd dodged truck after truck over the past year. In your consideration of a reply, you let your eyes wander the space, getting stuck, as they always did, like glue on Neal as he traipsed towards his friends in the overpacked booth.

'They're both adults they-'

'Its because of Neal!' Mac's hushed exclamation followed by the smile of a cat with a mouthful of canary was infuriating, expected as it was.

'Wow great job, I cant believe you figured it out! You really are a journalist!' Your sarcasm was only slightly motivated by embarrassment at being caught staring, or at least that's what you'd prefer to tell yourself.

'Yeah Mac, its kind of obvious' The muffled statement left Jim as he raised his head, 'Even I got that and I didn't even see them checking him out.' Rolling your eyes with a smile you flipped him off for good measure, sure the conversation was sadly destined to continue.

'You'll be too busy with his presentation anyway won't you?'

'Yep! So have fun moping, I'm gonna take my break early.' Dismissing his glass house attempt at teasing you reached behind yourself, untied and shrugged off your apron, before turning away from the bar.

Making quick work of the space between, you stopped in front of the group, giving a quick hello to the others as Neal made a prolonged attempt to scramble from the cushioned seat, laptop tucked under his arm precariously. Offering him your hand and leading him to one of the tables in the back you ignored the all to familiar whistles cast your way by his friends.

Patting down his clothes, he opened the document and gestured you towards a seat, his movements were wilder than usual, the fun of the night clearly twisting his tired mind into an even more excitable demeanor.

'SO', he began, if you'd witnessed him doing a bump you'd have been less surprised by his immediate volume, 'Dirk Sevent, reported that on the fourth of April he was abducted from his backyard in Abilene, Texas.' The clack of his spacebar revealed a map, some photos and what you could assume was a picture of the man in question as he continued on, 'This is the forth report of such an incident in Texas over the last four months...' Clack 'However if we go back, this frequency of reports is triple what it was just five years ago, this is occurring in all states at it's latitude. This rate, which was, around five years ago, present in states at a placement such as Nebraska, which in turn had the rate that was present in Texas five years ago, ten years ago...' As he spoke Neal paced around you, emphatically pulling fact after fact from his mind, barely sparing the computer a look outside of hitting the spacebar. Listening to his speech, your eyes followed every gesture and jerk, utterly enthralled by the enigma that was his presence in these moments.

Clack...

'...the mirror effect in the southern hemisphere...'

Where did he pull that miniature globe from?

Clack...

'...psychological phenomenon...'

Is that a stock photo MRI?

Clack...

'...alien strategy...'

Okay now that's plainly just ET

Clack...

'...The End'

The impassioned speech passed the time much too fast, as it often did, and yet the pair of you continued a lively discussion until your phone alarm let you know to get back to work.

Neal walked you back to the bar, the conversation unrelenting until your apron was secured and a guest had started calling for your attention. With a wave he returned to his booth and you returned to your work, already impatient for the next presentation.

...

The crew from News Night were back at the bar within the week, another stressful day you presumed, and you considered for a moment that perhaps the broadcast had gone wrong when Jim's pouting face settled at the stool in front of you. However, when you heard an obscene chorus of laughter from their regular booth you realized it must be a ~personal issue~, so setting a beer down in front of him, you quirked an eye brow up as you met his eyes and with a sigh he met yours.

'I'm fine.' he ground out. Humming in response you moved to turn away knowing full well he was going to continue.

'I have no idea what I'm meant to do'

Furrowing your brow you tapped a finger to your chin, 'Hmm it is a hard one... OH wait, no its not just ASK. HER. OUT!' you were basically yelling, luckily the jarring voices of a duet sounding from the karaoke stage practically drowned you out.

Ignoring the roll of his eyes you maintained, 'She'll say yes.'

'You don't know that!' Jim ran a shaky hand down his face.

'Yes I do, everyone does. I'd even bet the people who see her on the blurry background of the broadcast do too.'

'Oh fuck off. Prove it then!'

'Piss off, I'm not helping you make her jealous' Reason not consciously known, you find yourself glancing around the bar, landing on nothing at all before returning to the man in front of you.

Meeting his eyes you weren't too happy about the smirk that pulled at the corners of his mouth, nor were you too excited about the teasing tone that filled his voice when he began to speak, 'You know he's not here... something about working late then going straight home.' Narrowing your gaze, you awaited what inevitably came next.

'Soo... You could help me? Knowing Neal wont see it, you should be happy to help now. Right?'

Releasing a deep breath you eyed Jim, considering the fallout.

One of their co-workers could see and think it was real and tell Neal, all the flirting over the last six months would go down the drain cause you'd look like you were about two seconds away from boning his friend (and boss).

Then again you were probably overthinking it, Neal wasn't here, and if Jim and Maggie did get together you doubt anyone is gonna remember Jim flirting with you. Even if they did, you'd just tell him the truth, you'd tell him you were trying to help Jim, lord knows he wants the pair together more than you do.

Plus this is a great chance to bargain...

'Okay, I'll do it, but just this once... and only for a price, from now on, you give a 30% tip on anything you buy from me or anyone here, forever.'

'What-?'

'That's the price... I'll flirt with you, help make it convincing and help you figure out if Maggie feels the same.'

He was silent for a moment... mulling over the deal until he slowly began to nod.

'Okay, deal.'

'Good, now slowly fix your posture, as if you want to look less like a gremlin in front of the woman you like.' Watching him follow your words, you let out a small fake laugh, not too noticeable but surely audible even through the never-ending karaoke performances. Painting a sickeningly sweet smile on your face, you tilted you head slightly as you feigned fawning over the man in front of you.

'Now lean back on your stool, I'm going to lean forward...' Trailing off in your lilting tone you reached to undo the top most button of your shirt, the action covered by a scratch of your neck with the other. Leaning across the bar on your elbows you put yourself in his space, fingers tapping on the surface as you kept your eyes on him.

'Why don't you flirt with Neal like this?' Why didn't you? His question was fair, but annoying nevertheless.

'Shut up. Now, do you have a business card on you?'

'Uh yeah, with the office line, why?'

'Write something on one side, and hand it to me with a smirk, let your hand sit on mine for a moment before moving it.' Jim did as you said, leaning closer until the pair of you were but centimeters apart, the smirk on his face was charming as he watched you take his card with a shy smile. Even as he spoke it remained and flirtatious as ever, 'Is all this what you want Neal to do?'

His teasing was short-lived after that, when you leant closer, lips ghosting over his ear as a hand rested on his chest. You eyes glanced around the room as you spoke,

'Neal wouldn't need me to tell him what to-'

Your voice dropped off as your flitting gaze fell on the door,

Standing over the threshold was Neal, laptop tucked under his arm, eyes seemingly stuck on the pair of you.

Pulling back from Jim you move to hold his chin under your thumb, maintaining the smile on your face despite the strain it suddenly required. You spoke through your your gritted teeth, barely attempting to keep the seethe from your voice, 'Going straight home is he?'

His brow pinched the smirk falling slightly, 'Yeah why?' Glancing to your side to lead his attention, you leaned back from the bar. Watching out the corner of your eye as Neal stepped back out through the door, it falling closed with a slam behind him, your hands immediately moved to tug off your apron, still attempting to pretend to be flirting with Jim as you smoothed out your clothes.

'Go speak to Maggie, make this worth it or so help me god...' Forcing out the mumbled words, you tucked a piece of stray hair behind his ear for good measure, before, as casually as you could with your blood pounding through you ears you made your way out from behind the bar and out the door.

Fuck fuck fuck

Whirling around on the stoop, you couldn't see Neal anywhere, your heart sunk and the weather twisted the knife, within seconds every inch of skin puckered in goosebumps and your nose stung red. The frozen wind blew through the tee and jeans you wore to work like water through paper, your coat long forgotten in your rush.

Hands twisting together furiously, in a futile attempt at conjuring warmth and calming your nerves, your focus was spread too thin and you wavered as you scuttled towards the AWN building. Head on a swivel you searched the footpaths for his tall figure, stopping in your tracks only after a car horn blared right past you.

It took a longer moment than it should have before you noticed your feet were on the asphalt. Scurrying back to the side of the road you drove the heels of your hands into your eyes, hoping to wake up your absent brain as you prepared to concede and slink back to the bar.

Until a foreign heat rested on your shoulder, following the hand you found Neal's eyes on yours and his lips moving in some sort of mime act. Oh wait he's speaking,

'Hey-oh watch out there, are you okay? What are you doing out here?'

His voice was soft yet unsure, with an ounce of something new, that you immediately knew you didn't want to hear again.

'I-' Shaking your head in another attempt to collect a single thought you looked towards the ground, '-I was looking for you, and I guess I was moving a little too fast for my head to keep up.' His eyes remained on yours, as he nodded slowly, seemingly at a loss for words in a similar stupor to your own.

'Wait- Why were you looking for me?' His tone was the same and you hated it all the more that it must have been your doing.

'I saw you come in, but you left straight away, it was weird. I wanted to check on you.' Your voice was low, restrained from the casual air it normally held when you were with him, it didn't feel right.

'Yeah, I had a presentation, but you were busy so I thought it could wait.' His new tone wasn't harsh or cold, it was distant.

'Oh- yeah it wasn't-' real flirting, '-He asked if I'd' Fake flirt with him to make Maggie jealous.

Finishing either of those sentences would have been great... finishing that rambled nonsense with anything other than...

'He said you were going straight home.'

Fuck, Fuck. 'Cause what does that even mean?

'What' it was more of an ousting of breath than a question, you could tell his eyes were still locked on you, even as yours burrowed into the pavement.

'The other day, Jim and Mac asked me to flirt with him to convince him that Maggie liked him and would get jealous. I said no, and they knew it was because of you-'

'Me-' his interjection flew cleanly in one ear and out the other as you continued.

'So today, cause he thought you wouldn't be here, he asked again and I agreed because I thought it would be good for them to finally get together already and also I made him pay me 30% in tips in perpetuity-'

'No wait wh-' Once again your rambling tramped over his question.

'-And like you weren't there so there was like no harm no foul so I was like who cares, it can only go well. And even if someone told you I could just explain what happened which I guess is what I'm doing...'

Pushing slightly on your shoulder to get your attention, his tone was still as strange as it had been but now it had an even stranger calmness, 'Why does me not being here mean anything?'

There wasn't really a way to answer without giving it all away, but there was no way you were going to do anything but tell him the truth, so you steeled yourself as you finally met his eyes,

'I figured if you saw me pretending to want to sleep with your boss it would send mixed messages, when I feel like the message of "Wow Neal, you're so hot and funny and smart" has at least been kind of clear. Even if it went clear over your head.'

'Wanna know something interesting?' His hand dropped from your shoulder, and the cold that took his place twisted your stomach...

'No...' In your mind there was nothing good that came from this so you took the slightest step back as you watched him pry open his laptop.

'Yeah, you do.' His eyes were on yours again as he spun the computer around in his arms, across the screen was a new presentation, an image of dark red curtains with script title scrawled in white; 'Reasons we should kiss right now...'

Clack...

'We're both really hot'

I mean he's not wrong,

Clack...

'I'm like crazy into you'

Is that a stock photo human heart?

Clack...

'You're totally into my presentations...'

How did he take that photo without you noticing?

Clack...

'Except for the "Decentralized architectural styles", yes I noticed.'

'P.S. that was a test'

Cheeky bastard...

Clack...

'...kiss?'

Okay now that's plainly just ET again

Pushing the laptop closed against his chest you closed the space between you,

'Kiss...' you confirmed as you leant in close.

.

.

.

'That wasn't originally the one for today so if you do want to hear about MothMan's tramp stamp-'

'Neal?'

'yeah?'

'Kiss.'

'OH yeah!'

[olderthannetfic]

Re: ‘most big fandoms are dominated by male characters so there’s less f/f’ - I think the conclusion that there’s so much more m/m and m/f out there because media with big fandoms include fewer women as characters and we are ‘just writing about the characters [we] connect with in the media [we] enjoy’ removes some of the agency involved in how we choose the media that we potentially end up fannishly enjoying. Yes, if there were more characters who are women in media with huge existing fandoms, we might see more f/f, but I think that many of us gravitate toward new media (and if we click with that new media, then new fandoms) based on our established interests from prior media/fandoms. I’ve been in online fandom in various capacities for over 20 years and in the first decade of my fannish ‘career’ I largely shipped m/m and wrote m/m. I was therefore, unsurprisingly, often drawn toward new media with m/m potential.

About a decade ago my personal interests began to shift and I found myself more drawn toward women characters and f/f. If I’m interested in women and f/f, I’m not going to keep focusing on new-to-me media with a whole slew of men and a couple women who barely interact. I’m keeping an eye out for media with several prominent female characters, media with lots of women, media with f/f potential. Luckily, that isn’t as hard to find across a variety of genres and formats as it used to be. It doesn’t always click — I enjoyed watching She-Ra and Ahsoka, for instance, and saw the f/f potential, but neither were id matches that sparked fannish creativity for me personally — but if I’m not checking out media with women and am instead continuing to watch/read/play media where the characters are largely men, then yeah, I’m going to get frustrated by the lack of f/f i those fandoms pretty quickly. That’s on me though, not on the fandom at large. If I’m not looking at what’s out there, trying to find the media that hits those iddy places and sparks the fannishness I crave, then am I really that interested in f/f in the first place? I don’t think fandom ‘hates women’, but I do think a lot of fandom just isn’t that fannishly interested in women for a plethora of reasons, and that’s fine! I do wish we could just admit that though.

There’s also…look, there are assholes in every corner of fandom. There are plenty of people out there who write posts that criticize unrealistic m/m smut, but that doesn’t seem to drive away the m/m fans from writing that super unrealistic m/m smut they want to read. Why then do a few jerks criticizing what they believe to be unrealistic f/f smut get blamed for driving people away from f/f? Did you really want to write that f/f smut to begin with? It’s okay if you didn’t really want to write it! But also, there is fantastically unrealistic f/f smut out there on ao3 with an appreciative audience. Unrealistic smut always has its place.

--

Yuuup.

I do think the few loud jerks on whatever topic have a disproportionate effect on things that people are already insecure about or that there's already less content about. Criticism from inside the house also seems to hit harder than from outside, for various definitions thereof. But I agree that there are bullies or just loud assholes everywhere, and it doesn't stop the juggernaut ships and fandoms. I think "the meanies made me not write f/f" is not a good analysis of the overall trend even if some specific people really did get bullied quite badly.

I do see people acting surprised that they don't like any f/f, yet not checking out media with multiple female leads. This is silly and we should move away from this along with ditching "There are no interesting female characters".

But another pattern I see is that, for the most part, really big fic fandoms come from things a ton of people consumed in the world overall. (The reverse isn't necessarily true: something can have mass mainstream popularity and no fic.) So even aside from willful blindness on the part of individual fans or personal reactions to gender, the overall lopsidedness of media does still matter for the big meta discussions that look at the ratio of stuff on AO3. If someone isn't really into small fandoms, they're going to have to go where the crowd is already going.

The top fandoms, according to tag search, are these (counts are different from current AO3 works if you click through, but they seem inflated by roughly similar amounts):

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling ‎(664365)

Marvel Cinematic Universe ‎(389476)

방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS ‎(289493)

Original Work ‎(273412)

Marvel ‎(233004)

Teen Wolf (TV) ‎(219504)

Haikyuu!! ‎(215127)

The Avengers (Marvel Movies) ‎(208509)

原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game) ‎(207259)

Star Wars - All Media Types ‎(188548)

Sherlock (TV) ‎(169092)

Batman - All Media Types ‎(137281)

Captain America (Movies) ‎(118954)

Minecraft (Video Game) ‎(117892)

Stranger Things (TV 2016) ‎(117489)

Video Blogging RPF ‎(110169)

Voltron: Legendary Defender ‎(105117)

Miraculous Ladybug ‎(104003)

Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan ‎(103914)

魔道祖师 - 墨香铜臭 | Módào Zǔshī - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù ‎(101819)

文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs ‎(95606)

Merlin (TV) ‎(88893)

僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) ‎(86484)

NCT (Band) ‎(85868)

Dream SMP ‎(83222)

Stray Kids (Band) ‎(82711)

One Direction (Band) ‎(79490)

呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Manga) ‎(78975)

Homestuck ‎(77676)

Game of Thrones (TV) ‎(77361)

Good Omens (TV) ‎(76805)

陈情令 | The Untamed (TV) ‎(73444)

DCU ‎(71054)

ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure ‎(70648)

Undertale (Video Game) ‎(68959)

A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin ‎(67854)

Star Trek ‎(67221)

Doctor Who ‎(65172)

Doctor Who (2005) ‎(65166)

呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen (Anime) ‎(65109)

Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett ‎(63727)

Once Upon a Time (TV) ‎(62211)

Avatar: The Last Airbender ‎(61743)

Hetalia: Axis Powers ‎(61343)

Star Wars Sequel Trilogy ‎(59581)

Iron Man (Movies) ‎(59158)

EXO (Band) ‎(58948)

Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types ‎(58055)

Hannibal (TV) ‎(56796)

Thor (Movies) ‎(56604)

I'm seeing some truly gargantuan franchises and their network of metatags, top Weekly Shounen Jump manga that are mega bestsellers far, far beyond how much any shojo manga sells in Japan, some of the biggest musical groups and most popular youtubers in the world, etc.

Some of these do seem a lot more popular with the AO3 crowd than the world in general, of course. It's not an exact 1:1 causal relationship between media's audience/impact and how much fic writers care or how much fic writers on AO3 care. It's certainly possible for fandom to make fetch happen with a relatively less popular canon; it's just not the default and not driving the big overall numbers.

I look at The Untamed and (often mistagged) MDZS) being on this list and I think of all those hot fanvids for f/f Chinese dramas.

I keep seeing fans watch one, go "Okay, I have got to watch that next!" only to be disappointed that the canon is a handful of 5-minute episodes, not some epic 50-episode thing like the censored m/m ones and the bromance ones and the het ones get. They want The Untamed-but-with-ladies, not the reality of those canons. I suppose there are some nominally-straight series with two female leads and not a heavy focus on a het romance with just a single female lead, but the one I'm thinking of was reportedly godawful and the people who saw potential between the women had no interest in writing fic about it.

Do any of those f/f c-novels have good translations? That's not what brings the big fic crowds (it's the adaptations that do that), but maybe I should try reading a few. I just keep getting turned off of Chinese webnovels in general by dodgy translations.

[sosuigeneris]

what are the best life lessons you’ve learned?

Basic grooming is a must. You can’t just walk around looking like an animal and then wonder why no one in the world can take you seriously. As a society, we do place high value, respect and positive attributes towards people who look a certain way. Keep a base for yourself. For me: my facial hair must be removed at all times, eyebrows always done, I use a body perfume and a hair perfume to ensure I always smell nice, my teeth are always clean and my nails are always shaped and filed.

Read, read and read. Sign up for various newsletters to get bite sized info. Not just hard news but even things like arts, culture, history - there’s a lot of great newsletters out there. Try to incorporate at least one new learning in your conversations with people.

Mediocre work ethic is your biggest weakness. Learn to have good work ethic. If a task takes 5 minutes to do, then do it in 5 minutes. Be proactive.

spend some time alone in your day. When I mean alone I mean no phone, no laptop, no music, no books nothing. Just sit in silence and let yourself interact with yourself. Do nothing. It’s okay if you get bored. So many of us can’t stand our own selves and resort to blocking out our internal connection with distractions. Learn to THINK.

Practice everything. If you don’t know how to do something practice it. Don’t know how to have conversation? Practice in the mirror, create frameworks for yourself, but practice. Keep a set of generic questions that you can ask anyone you meet. Think of a few things that you’ve done over the last month or upcoming travel plans you have before you meet someone. I have a list called “socialising homework” on my notes app which i fill in before a major social event: my recent experiences, upcoming experiences, work status, current hobbies, current trending topics (politics, global news, culture and travel), and ideal perception (how do I want to be perceived? Intelligent, warm, marriage material, etc etc it differs from social group to group or person to person).