#research base hanger

[molmolten]

Oh this new annihilation is pretty chill, just smooth sailing all the way thr-

Oh fuck me.

[golbrocklovely]

the rakish gentlemen // sam and colby

A/N: just a general statement across the board: i'm not going for historical accuracy here. i did a very small amount of research for this, most of which was based on the language and some of the societal norms but even then, it wasn't a thorough search. so if things are incorrect or not quite right… that's why. also this is heavily inspired by my new found love for bridgerton, so anything in the story that reminds you of that (show or book wise) - that's also why lol anyone that writes regency romances or stories, props to you bc the formal English alone made me want to off myself. just kidding… but not really. anyway, i hope you enjoy this one. it was fun to write once i got the hang out it. lmk what you think and i'll see you guys with another fic (hopefully) soon :)

prompt: being out in society was enough of a challenge, but overhearing two very sought after lords' snide remarks about you made you want to give up altogether. that is until you hatch a plan - make them beg for your hand in marriage, and then leave them high and dry. it should be simple enough. || AU!regency era sam and colby x fem!reader

trigger warning: formal english (lol), historical inaccuracy, lots of 'samuel' and 'cole' so if you don't like that don't read lol, snc are kind of dicks but they turn it around by the end somewhat, just a whisper of smut but not really, cliff hanger ending??, heavy on gender norms of the time period so be weary of that if that's something you don't like, bit of angst, everyone is of age/in their 20s

word count: 6347

~~~~~~~~

The weather in London during the middle of spring was the absolute best time of year, according to most in the Ton. To Miss Y/N Y/L/N, it was the most splendid of weather to promenade with one's closest confidant, and for her that was Miss Amelia Ruteledge. The two had been inseparable since childhood, living across the street from one another. And coming out in society together only strengthened their bond over the last two seasons.

"How eager are you for Lady Gillingham's masquerade ball this evening?" Amelia asked, coyly stealing a glance at Y/N.

"I can hardly wait. I am positively elated." Y/N replied dryly, her faux smile wide.

"Y/N, must you indulge in sarcasm?" She questioned.

"Yes, Amelia. I must," a quiet laugh fell from her lips. "It is hard for me to be excited for yet another ball, one where I will again be doomed to the corner of the room, watching as others dance."

"I had presumed you enjoyed observing." Amelia teased.

"It is not as fun anymore, ever since your courtship with Viscount Throne began." Y/N sighed, wiping away pretend tears from her cheeks, "Alas, my spinsterhood is in full bloom."

She shook her head, patting Y/N's arm sweetly, "Don't be ridiculous. You are nowhere near being a spinster."

"I'm two years out in society with little to show for it. One might believe I had contracted the plague, given how much the gentlemen of the Ton disregard me." Y/N rolled her eyes, her voice bitter.

"You mustn't say that. You are an absolute catch, by all accounts." Amelia argued, looking into Y/N's eyes.

She huffed. "Thank you. But your opinion apparently is the only one that is favorable towards me."

"That is simply not true," she protested back. "I believe many gentlemen in the Ton would admire you once they were acquainted. But I would not be surprised if your charm and wit intimidate them, thereby causing their reluctance."

A cheeky smile appeared on Y/N's face. "I couldn't have said that better myself." The ladies giggled, continuing down the walkway towards a small pond. Y/N glanced upwards, noting the eligible men coming their way. Grabbing Amelia's arm, she yanked her behind a tree close by, pressing her back tightly against the oak.

Amelia furrowed her brow, "What ails you?"

Y/N hushed her, looking over Amelia’s shoulder. "I don't wish to speak to anyone else presently. Particularly suitors."

"So you think hiding behind a tree is wise?" She blinked.

Y/N wanted to glare, but held back. "Guess I'm not as witty as you thought."

Amelia peaked behind the tree, their maids coming closer to them. She gestured for them to stop, not wanting the men Y/N was so flustered by to notice. The maids turned towards each other, giving a knowing look, and faced the pond instead.

"Did they leave yet?" Y/N whispered.

Amelia hummed. "No. They are still coming our way."

"Damn." She cursed, scrunching her face.

"Speak louder. I am sure your coarse tongue will make them leave hastily." She gaped.

Y/N held back more careless words, doing her best to remain calm. "I am certain that any gentleman has heard far worse words than a solitary curse from a lady's lips."

Amelia peaked again, her eyes widening. "Oh, you are correct about that. Did you see who was coming?"

"No. I just knew it was three gentlemen." Y/N dissented.

"It's Mr. Beaumont... with Lord Golbach and Lord Brock." Amelia choked out.

"Ah, even worse than I imagined." Y/N gulped.

Lord Samuel Golbach and Lord Cole Brock were some of the most sought after men in all of the Ton. Eager mamas and anxious daughters alike pined to be seen affectionately by the two Lords. They were not only rich, but handsome - a deadly combination. And with years of friendship under their belt, they were basically family to one another. Everyone out in society knew - to get in good graces with one, you had to be liked by the other.

But even with everyone wanting their attention, they were seldom to give it out. The rakish behavior displayed by the two was known throughout, which confused Y/N deeply. Why play cat and mouse if one knows it's not trying to be caught? Why pretend to be an eligible bachelor if there were no plans to seek a wife at all?

Y/N knew to stay away. She had no interest in them, moreover.

"Mr. Beaumont, I do believe you are one of the funniest men in all of London." Cole chuckled, clasping the man on the shoulder.

Edward bowed, "Such high praise coming from you, Lord Brock. You two are going to tonight's ball, yes?"

"Of course. Wouldn't miss it for the world." Samuel grinned, glancing at Cole knowingly.

"I must ask, are there any ladies that have caught your eye this season?" Edward continued.

Samuel shook his head, "Unsurprisingly, no. Cole and I have very high standards. So high, in fact, it has been impossible to find anyone worthy of matching with." 

"How incredibly rude." Amelia murmured.

"I am confident there are several ladies in the Ton that would be worthy of becoming your wives. What about Miss Mullens?" Edward mentioned.

"Terrible dancer." Cole quipped.

He questioned, "How about Miss Walford?" 

Samuel frowned. "Her character is sorely lacking." 

"Miss Ramsbury?" He puzzled.

"Beautiful indeed, most obnoxious laugh I've ever heard however." Cole jeered.

"Miss Y/L/N! What about her? She seems well." Edward exclaimed.

A silence filled the air, Y/N only hearing the sound of her pounding heart within her breast. While she may not have harbored interest in either Lord, the notion of their thoughts about her caused her skin to tingle thrillingly. She had never heard a man speak of her in any way, romantic or otherwise. She was eager to know.

Both men snickered, an almost childish laugh cutting through. Samuel cleared his throat, "You must be joking, Beaumont. That lady, would be the last on our list to ever be courted by us. Remember, we have high standards."

"Not even worthy of considering, if I'm honest." Cole sniveled.

“I suppose those are the lower ranking ladies of the Ton.” Mr. Beaumont chortled.

Amelia moved to jump out from behind the tree, ready to give all three gentlemen a piece of her mind. Y/N grabbed her arm, yanking her close. She motioned for her to remain silent, listening once more to the Lords and Mr. Beaumont.

"It is getting late, good sirs. I must be arriving back home soon for late afternoon tea with the missus. Good day, Lord Golbach. Lord Brock. Best of luck on your endeavors." He bowed, the Lords following suit.

Y/N finally turned to all three gentlemen, still covered by the oak tree. She watched as the Lords went off in the opposite direction as Mr. Beaumont. She waited until they were far enough away, taking her first breath in for what felt like years.

"I cannot believe those men!" Amelia screeched lowly.

Y/N slid down the tree, resting her head back, exhausted. "It's incredible, really. Dare I say... humbling?"

"Calling them rakes is the nicest thing I can think of. They are-" She started.

Cutting her off, Y/N placed a hand up. "Save your words, Amelia. Heaven knows I'm thinking far worse than you."

She stared at the ground for a moment, replaying their words over and over in her head. It hurt to hear how cold they were towards her, someone they had never even had a single conversation with.

"Lord Golbach and Lord Brock don't know you, Y/N. And by the way they speak of strangers, they don't deserve to know you either. No wonder no one has won their affections. They have far too much for themselves." Amelia retorted. She fanned herself, feeling her skin growing hot with anger.

Y/N mumbled. "High standards, remember?"

"I have heard of the numerous rejections they’ve given to the ladies of the Ton. It's astonishing how sought after they remain." Amelia declared, utterly appalled.

Rejected. The word echoed in Y/N's head. No one knew that feeling quite like her, especially not the Lords. Who could ever reject them...

Abruptly, Y/N jumped to her feet with an incredulous smirk; an idea rushing to the forefront of her mind.

"Pray tell, what is that look for?" Amelia queried.

"I believe the Lords just need a dose of their own medicine." She sang snidely. 

Amelia raised an eyebrow. "I beg your pardon?"

"What lady in all of the Ton has ever rejected them? Every girl and mama swoons at their feet; that's why they feel they can judge and dismiss anyone they want, regardless of how perfect a match the lady might be," Y/N stated. "So... what if that is turned on them?"

"How?" Amelia leaned back against the tree, studying her friend.

"Tonight's ball. It is a masquerade. Those two have never spoken to me, not once in all of the two years I've been out. Yet somehow, they've already declared I'm not worthy to be their wife just from mere appearances alone. Well, what if they aren't worthy enough to be my husband?" Y/N's eyes were wild, a mischievous glint sparkling within.

She gasped, "You're going to reject them?"

"I shall make them plead for my hand in marriage, only to desert them after all." She boasted.

"Do you think you can do that?" Amelia cocked her head to the side.

Y/N rolled her eyes, "I plan to beat them at their own game. I am sure they won’t know what to do with themselves when a woman is actually disinterested in them. Plus, anything else my charm and wit can make up for… hopefully."

"Are you sure your skills are up to the challenge? This could possibly ruin you if done incorrectly. A man won't take his pride being scorned." Amelia worried, holding Y/N's hand briefly. 

She gave Amelia's hand a gentle squeeze, "I have been watching for two seasons what works and what doesn't. I've always been too frightened to be myself, to be vulnerable. But I have nothing to lose tonight. I am not interested in them, and they do not even see me as a potential match. I have to do this, for my pride alone." 

Y/N strutted away, nodding to her maid to follow her. She stopped for a moment, turning back to Amelia. "After tonight, no more Miss Wallflower." 

~~~~

Luckily for Y/N, being friendly with the modiste had its perks. For one, she was able to have some alterations done to her gown long before the ball. She was used to wearing more muted colors; colors that faded her into the background of any dance. But now, staring in the looking glass at herself, her rose colored gown almost sparkled in the candlelight.

She knew this would be one of the more flashier gowns, even for a masquerade. Lady Gillingham's balls were always known as being a bit uptight; the masquerade was the only one where going against her rules was allowed. But most in the Ton dared to not break them even so.

Y/N felt a rush of nerves hit her. Would this be enough to cause the Lords to notice her? She hoped. If not, her whole plan would be foiled.

The carriage ride to the Gillingham estate felt like an eternity. Y/N fanned herself repeatedly; the cool night air doing nothing for her warm skin.

Amelia and Y/N wrote to one another to meet at the Gillingham lineage painting that adorned the entrance. Both ladies concurred that the face of Viscount Gillingham in the painting always looked like he was cocked eyed; something they both had jested about their first time out in society. They knew that was their spot to meet if they needed to step away from it all. But tonight, because of their masks, they wanted to be able to find a familiar face in the crowd if anything was to go awry.

Y/N pulled her cloak tightly to her bodice, making sure her dress was covered. She gazed around the foyer of the estate, the grand ceilings always making her feel so small. She could hear the ball had commenced, a fanciful melody being played by the orchestra echoed down the halls. She waited under the painting, glancing at all of the attendees coming through the doors. Which one would be Amelia and her Viscount?

Rounding the stairs, a golden dress shone in the corner of Y/N's vision. She turned, making note of the matching locks of hair.

Along with their meeting spot, Y/N and Amelia devised a query only they knew. Y/N studied the woman, finally speaking. "Excuse me, have you ever read Emma? It is one of my favorite novels."

"There is nothing like staying home, for real comfort." Amelia quoted, relief hitting her at the sound of her friend's voice.

Y/N sighed, "Oh thank Heavens it's you Amelia. I thought you might already be in the ballroom."

Amelia shook her head, "I informed you I would wait until your arrival to enter the ball."

Y/N gazed over Amelia's shoulder, looking for someone. "Where is your Viscount?"

She smiled, "He had affairs to tend to, and said he wouldn't be able to make it tonight. So I'm all yours."

"You don't have to stay with me all night. Just until my plan works on the Lords." The girls locked their arms with one another, slowly walking towards the ballroom.

"They've already arrived. I saw them come in moments before you." Amelia whispered low.

Y/N raised an eyebrow, "Well, let's make our grand entrance then."

As the ladies walked into the ballroom, Y/N noted that they were the last two to enter. She held her breath, staring over the railing of the beautiful marble stairs. She could feel all eyes turn to her and Amelia. Amelia trotted down the stairs, her gloved fingers holding the banister gently. Y/N waited until she was at the bottom, and began her descent. 

Now was the time to woo over the men of the Ton, she thought. She untied her cloak, letting it fall off her shoulders; leaving it on the stairs. Light gasps fell from around the room. She knew her alterations would cause a stir, but gasps? She was taken aback by such sounds.

Not only did she go gloveless to this event, but her slightly lowered neckline showed off her most precious of jewels in more ways than one. The modiste spoke of how most of the Ton was not breaking Gillingham's rules, disregarding the whole point of a masquerade. Y/N knew this was her time to shine. To become a rule breaker.

Lord Golbach and Lord Brock were rule breakers themselves. And even more so, heartbreakers. They were aware of this too. Samuel and Cole gave each other a quick glance, noting the breathtaking beauty dressed in rose coming down the stairs.

Eligible gentlemen from around the room scurried over to Amelia and Y/N, doing their best to introduce themselves quickly. Cole smoothed out his suit jacket, parted his way through the crowd and reached Y/N in no time.

Y/N was taken aback by all the men surrounding her, never having this much attention before. As she glanced up, her eyes immediately made contact with a pair of striking blue ones. The pleasing smile, the chestnut hair, the almost devilish gaze.... she knew it could only be one man.

"Miss Rose, lovely to make your acquaintance." Cole bowed, speaking over all of the men pining for her.

She scrunched her face, confused. "Do you believe that to be my name?"

He blinked, "No. I'm simply calling you that because of your gown."

"Oh..." Y/N cleared her throat awkwardly, returning to a more disinterested persona. "How clever."

"May I accompany you to the floor?" He asked, his voice as smooth as silk.

A man in the small crowd let out a scoff, "Good sir, I do believe I was-"

"I think I can speak for myself, your grace." She turned back to Cole, a playful smile on her lips, "I'm afraid you aren't the first to ask. But if you care to wait, I'll gladly dance with you second."

Lord Brock was surprised, but he chalked up this misunderstanding to her not knowing who he was. No one ever denied Cole a dance. Even those with cards completely filled out. He bowed graciously, moving out of the way so she could be guided onto the dancefloor by the other gentleman.

By his short stature, Cole could tell it was Viscount Davis. While he did have a lot of money, he was a tiresome presence to be around. And surely, Miss Rose would soon find that out herself.

And Y/N did, in record time. Being eye-level with a gentleman was not exactly something she was used to, but all it did was make her very aware of his eyes stealing glances at her bosom. The song ended rather quickly, the Heavens listening to her pleas. Before she could even curtsy at the gentleman, Cole was already next to her, waiting to join her in the next dance. She almost laughed at how eager he was; how easily her plan was playing out. They bowed to one another, and the music slowly began. His expert hands slid into hers, warm and welcoming. His close proximity made her aware suddenly just how handsome he really was. She could understand, for a moment, why so many ladies fawned over him. And her heart skipped a beat.

"Would you be alright with me breaking the rules this evening?" Cole chimed in suddenly.

Y/N cocked her head, "That depends on what you intend to break."

"I would like to tell you my name, and perhaps you will tell me yours?" He wagered. 

"Perhaps..." She trailed off, detached.

"I'm Lord Brock. And if you glance over your shoulder now, the man by the refreshments table is Lord Samuel Golbach." He motioned with his head behind her.

Y/N did peak, noting the eyes of Samuel following her and Cole around the room. "Hmm. Interesting."

"May you wish to tell me yours now?" Cole smiled.

"No, I do not." Y/N shook her head plainly.

"I am surprised. But maybe I shouldn't be," Cole spun her, pulling her back into him. "It appears that you resemble me in many respects."

"And what respects are those?" She questioned.

"If I may presume, you seem inclined to forge your own path. You do not heed merely because it was asked of you." He remarked honestly.

Y/N felt her heart skip again, damning her feelings internally as she kept up her charade. "And you have been able to deduce all of this from the mere twenty minutes I've been in this ballroom?"

Cole smirked confidently, "What can I say? I possess the ability to read others well, particularly charming young ladies."

She held back the urge to roll her eyes at his response. While she wanted to beat him at his own game, she didn't want to be rude. "And how well has that worked out for you, my Lord? Since apparently you and Samuel can't seem to find a match."

Hearing Sam's name fall from her lips was shocking, but that alone made him like her more. She was feisty, and he enjoyed that quality in a woman. "Having standards set high has caused some issues, yes. But maybe I will find the one tonight."

"Have you already encountered someone that has peaked your interest?" She inquired. 

"I would say so. It shouldn't come as a shock since you're the only one I've danced with tonight. And the only one I plan to." He brought his face closer to hers, flashing a charming smile.

"How delightful," Y/N mimicked his look. "I cannot say I feel the same, unfortunately."

His face dropped instantly, "I beg your pardon?"

Y/N wanted to relish in this moment for forever, but the music was slowly coming to an end. "Oh, my apologies, my Lord. I thought we were speaking candidly." 

"You... you don't enjoy my company?" Cole stammered. Stammered.

"Well, you are an accomplished dancer and pleasing to the eye and yet... I am unable to see you worthy as a potential suitor." She curtsied dramatically as their dance finished, her mischievous eyes sparkling from the flames of the candles. "My deepest gratitude, my Lord, for being my second dance. If you'll excuse me, I must go see my other suitors, however."

Y/N turned away, swaying her hips sensually as she walked over to Amelia. Her skin felt like it was on fire from where Cole had been touching her. Even though she hated admitting it, something about Cole was mesmerizing. Intoxicating, even. If she hadn't heard what he said this afternoon, she could see a world in which she would fall for him.

But she couldn't focus on that now. She couldn't believe she had actually done it. She successfully rejected one of the Lords.

Amelia gaped, staring at Y/N. "I'm in awe of you, truly. You are a goddess amongst men."

"I feel like I'm going to faint." Y/N grabbed Amelia's arm, keeping her back turned towards the dancefloor. 

"Really?" Amelia pushed her glass to Y/N, who nodded a 'thank you'.

"Sort of." Y/N downed her lemonade, the refreshing citrus drink calming her nerves only slightly. "Is he still looking over here?"

"If by 'looking' you mean casting daggers, then indeed, that is the case. And," she giggled nervously, "try not to faint when I tell you this, but Lord Golbach is making his approach."

Y/N swallowed hard. "You jest."

Amelia gave a weary smile, "No, but I must make my getaway."

She backed away quickly from Y/N, who called out, "Wait, Ame-!"

"Miss Rose, how wonderful to finally meet." Samuel interjected suddenly.

Y/N took a deep breath, spinning on her heel to face him. "Lord Golbach."

He raised a brow at her, "You know who I am."

"How could I mistake a face like yours for any other?" She replied with a sneer tone.

Sam sucked his teeth, her biting tongue captivating him immensely. Ladies hardly ever truly said how they were feeling around him, and it was refreshing to hear such honesty. "I would entertain that notion if Cole had not informed me of disclosing my identity to you."

Her smile dropped, "I would still be able to pick you out in any crowd, my Lord. I would just have to look for the trail of broken hearts and I would instantly find the two of you."

"My reputation makes me sound harsh." He deadpanned.

She held back the urge to roll her eyes, "I think you and Cole are, in fact, harsh. Reputation or not."

A playful grin rose on Sam's face as he reached out his hand towards Y/N. "Dance with me, Miss Rose."

"And if I say no?" She responded defiantly. 

"I will leave you be," he answered. "But what fun you will miss, declining a dance from a gentleman whom you have already passed judgment upon."

She was surprised by Sam's charisma, his almost flirty nature. She politely took his hand, allowing him to guide her onto the dancefloor. Bowing, she steadied herself.. She was not used to this attention, especially from such desirable gentlemen. She knew deep down she shouldn't like teasing the Lords, but part of her enjoyed knowing they found her coveted.

He gazed down at her, inspecting her. "Your gown is quite suitable. You must come from a high ranking family."

"Thank you," she replied plainly. "And yes, some would say that. It helps that I am acquainted with the modiste in town, as well."

"Really? Not many are like you in that way. I've always found it odd how the higher ranking families in the Ton look down upon the working class." Sam admitted.

Y/N nodded, "Truly. It is such a pity. They are no different than us, the only major thing is that we were born into wealth."

"We are all human, after all." He concurred.

"Respecting our fellow man and cherishing the relationships we have and can make should be number one priority. It's a shame how many in the Ton don't see that." She remarked.

Samuel raised his eyebrows, spinning the young lady in time with the music. "You are one of the only women to think so. Many I have courted never spoke of such qualities."

She could feel her skin grow warmer with annoyance, "Interestingly, my beliefs stem from other women I've had the pleasure of knowing. How often do you ask any? Or do you merely go off of appearances and assumptions alone?"

His face dropped, a bitter smile resting on his mouth. "You and I must be similar in that regard."

"Possibly, yes. However, you are the one with a reputation of casting aside women you don't deem fit enough to be courted." Y/N argued, glaring.

He scoffed, "My apologies for having-"

She interjected, "High standards. Yes, I know."

The dance slowly began to end, her grip falling limp in Sam's hold. An anger unlike Y/N had ever felt was bubbling inside of her. Her grace and dignity almost flying out the window when she looked up at Sam, who seemed perplexed by her words. "I thank you for proving my assertions correct."

"And what exactly where they?" He narrowed his eyes.

"Your character is sorely lacking, and I will never want to court or be married to a man like that." Y/N spun on her heel, pure fire filling her veins. She ought to not have become so agitated, but she was unable to restrain herself. While both men played innocent and kind to her face, she knew of how mean they spoke of her mere hours ago. The sole reason they were like this was because of their ignorance of her identity. She had been taught her whole life to be respectful, to both men and women, no matter what ranking they were. And to see such blatant disrespect come from such a high caliber of men in the Ton infuriated her to no end.

This is who was supposed to be the aspiring husbands in the marriage mart? Being a spinster did not sound too bad after all.

Y/N wanted to find Amelia, but decided against staying in the ballroom. She ventured off to the entrance, standing at the portrait. She paced for a moment, trying to calm her nerves. She heard footsteps coming from the ballroom, expecting Amelia to be following her. But two men walked through, Samuel and Cole.

Her eyes widened as she watched them search for her. She rushed up the stairs, finding the closest room and hiding inside of it. It was a study, most likely Viscount Gillingham's. She closed the door swiftly, praying they hadn't seen her do so. She scanned the room, her eyes landing on the window. Fresh air sounded absolutely wonderful to her. She walked over to the window, attempting to open it.

The door swung open, Sam and Cole staring at her quizzically. "What do you plan to do? Shimmy down the garden wall?"

She huffed, turning to the gentlemen. "Do you take pride in stalking ladies or is that just an extracurricular for you both?"

"You have a surprisingly mean spirit for a lady. You must have suitors lining the street waiting for your hand." Cole sassed, stepping into the room.

"Well, as long as you both aren't in line, I shall have decent prospects." Y/N sniveled.

Samuel ranted, "Pray, what precisely is your objection to us? You do not resemble any woman we've previously courted. Why do you harbor resentment?"

"I do not have to have been courted by you to dislike you, Lord Golbach. Perhaps I find your inability to care for a woman's heart atrocious and that alone sparked my malicious feelings." She rebutted, her hands firmly on her hips.

"Did we hurt a sister of yours? Perhaps a friend." Cole responded, almost in jest.

She shook her head heatedly. "No. No. As humorously as that would be, you hurt mine without ever courting me. So congratulations are in order for that feat."

Both of the gentlemen's faces dropped, annoyed. "How?"

"I overheard you, today, at the park. Along with your friend Beaumont. You all had such a delightful time picking apart different women, none of which measured up to your standards for one reason or another." She spat.

Cole shook his head, almost trying to reset his vision. "A-And what is wrong with having standards?"

"There is nothing wrong with that," Y/N grunted. "The problem lies in how you go about finding those standards. Let's not play foolish here: you both know how sought after you are. And you also know that you most likely won't be finding a match anytime soon. So why be out in society?"

Sam’s eyes rolled for a moment. "Are we not permitted to partake in revelry?"

"You can, but not at the expense of women's hearts or reputations!" Her voice boomed off the walls of the study. The room fell silent, the men watching her with wide eyes. 

She continued passionately. "Do you know how completely ignorant it is to badmouth a woman to one of your fellow gentlemen? It is already hard enough as a lady to find a suitable husband when you have every other lady fighting for said affections. But to have fellow men berate and downgrade you as if you are a second-prized poodle is humiliating. Because if you two think that way about me, how else do the other men of the Ton feel? How am I supposed to navigate a labyrinth I had no realization I was in?"

Both men were stunned into silence, but finally Cole spoke. "We should be wiser with our words, yes. But it's not exactly easy for us, either."

"Oh please." She murmured, exhausted.

He moved towards her, shaking his head. "We are told to act a certain way, to be men. The rakish behavior we have to put on is all but a front. At least for him and I. It is exhausting wanting to be open and vulnerable and honest when no one reciprocates those feelings back. So it's easier to put up walls and guard yourself and pretend to be something you're not. But in the end it all hurts the same."

"But you're a man. And not just any one, a prominent one. You could..." Y/N exhaled. "Change what is expected."

"It is not that simple. And it's already a lonely road for those that do not follow what is to be asked of you." Cole paused, swallowing. "I often wonder if a love match is something I will ever find, or if I'm doomed to face a marriage with a woman that is a complete stranger to me for the rest of my days."

She frowned, "Find someone to love, then."

Cole bit his lip harshly, holding back his hurt, "I wish I could. I wish my family would allow that. There are certain expectations I've been destined to meet since birth that I wish I could shake. But it's not as simple as it sounds."

Y/N looked towards Sam, "And what about you?"

"I... I don't know how to express myself. At all," he muttered, stoic and awkward. "This life of mine is not even remotely fulfilling. And I am afraid I am wasting it being someone I never wished to be."

For a moment, Y/N's heart ached for both gentlemen. She stared at them, and they were no longer men, but boys. And for the first time in years, when she expressed exactly how she felt without fear of rejection, she felt like a girl again. The brutal honesty of being a child with no expectations placed.

"I apologize for being so… careless." Her demeanor softened,  "Maybe I shouldn’t have assumed so harshly.." 

"No. Your honesty is refreshing. I don't think anyone has called us out in years." Samuel commented.

Cole smirked, "Or ever, really."

She giggled, and genuinely smiled, for the first time all night. They smiled back, their grins earnest. 

"You have the sweetest of laughs. Almost like honey." Samuel complimented.

She bowed her head, doing her best to hide her blush. "T-That is very kind of you to say, my Lord."

Cole chimed in, the men sharing a look. "May I ask you a question, Miss Rose?"

Y/N nodded, watching them as they drew closer to her.

"Would it be alright if I call upon you tomorrow?" He asked.

Samuel added, "I too, would wish to do that, as well."

Her eyes widened, "I beg your pardon?"

"You are merely unlike any lady I have ever encountered. Unlike any we have met before. And I am certain that both of us would cherish the opportunity to become better acquainted with you." Cole explained genuinely.

"Even after I've insulted you to your face?" She sassed.

"Even more so, yes." Samuel's eyes glimmered mischievously.

Y/N questioned, "Are you sure that would be wise?"

"I would say it's about as wise as you being in a room, alone, with the two of us. Unchaperoned." Cole's voice deepened, causing Y/N's eyes to flutter.

Y/N suddenly became very aware of how close the Lords were to her. Her lips parted, wanting to gasp, but she was rendered speechless. She glanced between the two of them, watching as the space between them and her came to an almost close. Her back was up against the window sill, and she could feel the heat of Sam and Cole's bodies rolling off onto hers.

She closed her eyes tightly, savoring the moment. This was her first time truly feeling stirred by the presence of a man. Multiple men.

"But you are gentlemen." She choked out.

His eyes darkened. "Of course. We would never do anything untoward an honorable young lady, like yourself."

"All you have to do is say so, and we'll stop." Sam uttered huskily. 

Cole spun Y/N to face him, her mouth falling open in surprise. He stared at her devilishly, his eyes taking in every part of her slowly. A breath blew across the back of Y/N's neck, startling her. She glanced over her shoulder through hooded eyes to see Sam, closing the space between her and him. His mouth danced up her neck, stopping right under her ear.

"Do you want us to stop?" Cole whispered softly.

Y/N shuddered a breath, his hands cupping her waist as he stepped closer to her. His mouth was on the other side of her neck, peppering light kisses up and down her throat. Y/N closed her eyes, her chest heaving as her breath fought to catch up. Y/N had had one kiss before in her entire life, right before coming out into society. And she had heard whispers of what... intimacy, between a man and woman was like.

But this was a whole new world for her.

Heat pooled low in her stomach as the men traced their lips over her skin, breathing her in. Sam's hands rested lightly on her lower back, tracing up and down her corset lining. Cole's hands rubbed up and down her bare arms, goosebumps rising in their wake.

Their bodies were firm up against hers. It was almost like a waltz the way the Lords' movements guided her. She was entranced by it all, following their every direction. Then, suddenly it hit her.

She won. And not only did she win, but the clock was very close to midnight. And it was time to leave.

Y/N took a deep breath, something she felt she hadn't done in ages, and slithered her way out from between each man.

"Well, gentlemen, this has been a lovely evening. But I must be getting home." Y/N stated calmly.

Both men were stunned into silence, again, by her. "Wh... What?"

"Did I say something surprising?" She gazed innocently at them, then headed towards the door.

Samuel and Cole stared at her in awe, an almost amused smile resting on their lips. She truly was incomparable.

As she opened the door to the study, Samuel called out, "You must tell us who you are, at the very least."

She paused, her hand resting on the handle. She had considered making her getaway, not letting them know who she was. But part of her wondered what their faces would look like once they knew it was her, Y/N, that left them this way. Hot and bothered.

She untied her mask slowly, holding it delicately in her hands. She turned back to the Lords, gazing at them both.

"Goodnight, Lord Golbach and Lord Brock. I hope you have a splendid evening." She bowed, and rushed out, taking the stairs quickly.

Sam and Cole stood in silence for a while, reliving the moments they had just shared with Y/N. Neither one could wrap their minds about what took place, or that it was Y/N - of all people - that had caused these feelings to occur. Feelings that both men had not experienced in a very long time, if ever.

Sam stuck his hand out to Cole, raising an eyebrow at him. "May the best man win."

Cole smirked, grasping his friend's hand tightly. "Indeed."

The gentlemen knew only one of them would win Y/N's heart. And now it was time to see who could ever conquer such a feat.

[writersdrug]

Ghost x Reader x Konig: I Don't Need You (Ch. 7)

<- Previous - Next ->

Summary: It's time for your first mission working with Kortac. You're stuck reminiscing on the past, accidentally drawing similarities between it and the present. Additionally, you see a new side of Konig.

Chapter Warnings: Smut, semi-public sex, cursing, gore, blood, violence, bad attempts at using military terms (listen I tried to do my best researching this but obviously I ain't in the army)

Notes: Hey! Procrastination is a thing... and it had me in a chokehold these last few weeks. But - and I know I say this often - hopefully I'll get something else posted either tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for your patience and your kind comments - I love hearing them!

Ghost dragged me by the hand through the airplane hanger, making me stumble to keep up with him. He walked with purpose in his step, his eyes focused on his own thoughts. I bit my lip as I jogged behind him, excitement bubbling in my veins. He had sent me the usual “you up?” text – now, we were running around, trying to find a secluded but dangerously public place to satisfy our urges; something that was beginning to become a weekly occurrence.

He stopped in front of the ramp to the C-130 – one of the largest airplanes on base, used for carrying soldiers before they were airdropped. I looked at him with a confused expression.

Ghost was already looking at me, waiting for my reaction. He tilted his head towards the plane suggestively, gripping my hand tighter.

I suddenly understood what he was hinting at. “On a plane?!” I said with disbelief. “It’s not even in the air, what’s the point?”

Ghost huffed. “You said you wanted something other than my bed.” He replied with an accusatory tone. “What did you expect, your bed?”

I grimaced. Imagining Soap in the room across the hall, listening to me and Simon – and most likely getting off to it – it was the last thing I wanted to happen. “No… but an airplane?”

“Just trust me, ok?” Ghost tugged my hand, leading me onto the aircraft. “Bloody picky, you are.”

“I’m not picky, I just have common sense…” I muttered. Ghost ignored me.

I scowled as he dragged me further into the cargo hold. We moved towards the back, which was rather cramped, even though it was empty. Ghost sat down on one of the seats, close to the cockpit, and spread his legs. The space was small and awkward, and only allowed his left knee to move a few inches. He grumbled, getting up and moving down a seat, where he finally spread his legs apart. He finished the display with a smirk behind his mask, leaning back into the seat.

I watched the entire thing with my arms folded over my chest. “This is ridiculous…” I muttered, turning back towards the ramp.

“Why?” Ghost asked, slightly offended. He grabbed my arm and pulled me back to face him.

I gestured to him, huffing out a laugh. “Just - this! There isn’t enough room for the both of us, the door’s wide open, so someone could just walk in and – “

“They’re not going to see us, Bonnie.” Ghost pulled me by the backs of my thighs and down onto his lap. I grabbed his shoulders as I felt myself sliding off of him, and he gripped my hips to hold me in place. “Relax, love.” He drawled.

For a moment, my heart stuttered. It was the first time he had called me something so endearing… although it was probably force of habit. I stilled my heart – it was never good when it got too involved in anything.

“If we do get caught-“

“I’ll pull rank.” Ghost stated matter-of-factly. He sat on the edge of the seat, allowing me to shuffle closer to his torso. He held my hips down as he slowly pushed his own into me, sending arousal shooting through my abdomen and making me gasp at the feeling. He pushed his balaclava above the bridge of his nose, then pulled me down by the nape of my neck and captured my lips in a kiss.

I moaned into the kiss in satisfaction; his hands on my hips and the taste of him – cigarettes and the whiskey he’d downed earlier that night – felt like a reward after the long day. I ground my hips against his crotch, feeling his hard length straining through the fabric of his cargo pants. He let out a low, guttural groan, running his hand further up my back. In a second, I raised my arms over my head, and he pulled my shirt off, tossing it somewhere in the aircraft.

He looked at me for a moment, kneading the flesh at my hips as his eyes danced over my skin. “You changed your mind rather quickly.” He said with a cocky grin.

“Shut up…” I replied.

Ghost quickly smacked the side of my ass, making me yelp in surprise. He then grabbed my chin, not roughly, but enough to capture my attention. I stared at him with wide eyes.

“Care to try that again?” he asked in a cautioning tone.

“’M sorry!” I said quickly through smushed cheeks.

“’Sorry’ what?”

“’M sorry, sir.”

“Atta girl…” he drawled in a deep voice, before releasing my chin. I couldn’t stop the needy whine that came from my throat. I started grinding my hips on his crotch again, urging Ghost to continue.

He chuckled. “Pretty little slut – do you need me?” he asked, and I immediately nodded. “Use your words, love. Tell me what you want.”

I felt myself clenching around nothing at his deep, gravelly voice. “I- I want you inside me, Ghost.” I admitted quietly.

Ghost clicked his tongue. “Didn’t catch that, doll. Speak up for me.”

I fought a scowl rising in my throat. “I want you to fuck me.” I stated firmly. Normally, I wouldn’t stand for being humiliated like this – except I wasn’t standing. I was straddling Ghost’s lap, grinding on him like a bitch in heat, and following his every order like my life depended on it. And, honestly… I wouldn’t have had it any other way. And I would never fold like this, or let myself be bossed around, for any other man – not in a million years.

Ghost laughed. “Well, before we get that far…” he began unbuttoning my pants, igniting the fire in my lower abdomen. I bit my lip impatiently, watching his hands take their sweet fucking time as they worked down the zipper.

“… I need to get you ready f’me, yeah?” Ghost said teasingly. In the next moment, he pulled down the waistband of my underwear and slid two fingers past my clit.

I sucked in a short breath between my teeth, digging my nails into Ghost’s shoulders as he flicked his fingers over my clit. There was no rhyme or reason to the rhythm, making each flick send jolts of pleasure from my cunt and into my chest.

“Goddamn, there you go…” Ghost cooed as he watched my face contort from the pleasure.

“Bonnie?”

I started bucking my hips as Ghost traced along my lips, groaning as he watched me unravel myself above him. I could tell he was getting off from my obedience – the way I threw my stubbornness to the wind whenever he had control of me was like a drug to him.

“Hey, Bonnie-“

“Look at you.” He commented. I opened my eyes when I heard him unbuckling his belt. I looked down at him – I could see his pupils had dilated, and he was now panting in desire. Even he couldn’t wait any longer.

“Fucking finally…” I whispered.

“Quiet.” He ordered as he pushed his pants down his legs. He pulled out his-

“Bonnie!”

My eyes widened as I was snapped back to the present. I had been staring – glass-eyed and pupils blown wide – at the exact same seat Ghost and I had sat in earlier. Except, I wasn’t on that same plane. I was on Kortac’s C-130 as it flew us out to the mission point.

I looked to my left – Konig was bent over, hands on his knees, staring at me with a confused expression.

“You alright?” he asked. “Is the mini-you in your head bothering you?”

I scoffed. He hasn’t let me live that down ever since I mentioned it. “I’m fine, Colonel. Just tired.”

He straightened up, towering above me at his usual, freakish height. “Well wake up. We’re almost there. Let’s see if you’re as good as Ridgeback says you are.” He then walked away, pulling out his tablet and fiddling with it. It looked comically small in his hands.

Roze shifted in the seat next to me. “Don’t let him get to you. He’s always bossy right before we rendezvous. Gets him in the game, I think.” She tightened her tactical vest around her waist.

“I’d hate to see him on a bad day…” I mutter in her direction.

“You and me both. Imagine a bear, with a gun, on- I don’t know, cocaine or something…” She replied, earning a chuckle from me.

I looked back at Konig. He sat down in the same seat I was staring at moments before. He leaned back, resting his head against the wall and spreading his legs wide. He placed his hands on his thighs. He breathed deeply, like he was trying to calm his nerves. I dragged my eyes over his form – he was huge – I never really paid attention to just how large he really was. He was lean, slightly on the more muscular side, but he had to be pushing… six-eight? Six-nine? I looked at the girth of his thighs. I imagined what it would feel like to straddle his lap… Would it be comfortable? I thought about how Ghost and I had sat in that seat… Except I imagined Konig in Ghost’s position, his large hand on the small of my back, his torso against mine, his fingers in my-

Fuck. I was getting in over my head. I had to stop.

Konig looked at me, his head still leaning against the wall, locking his eyes with mine.

FUCK. I turned my head away quickly – too quickly. I can’t do this. I can’t let this happen again. I pointed my head down at my feet, pretending the floor was more interesting than Konig.

Don’t do this. Don’t do this, y/n. Remember how bad it ended last time? Why you ended up working for Kortac in the first place? You don’t want that again. Just focus on the mission. Focus on your job.

When I looked back at Konig, he was looking at the ceiling. I thought, if I concentrated enough, that I could see his brow furrowed under his mask. His hands were still on his thigs, but they were now tense, gripping at his thick muscles through his pants. His fingers were long, rough, and sturdy, his nails were short… I couldn’t help but drift back to the image of them plunged into my-

Konig’s eyes darted towards mine.

I huffed and looked away again, at the opposite end of the plane. Fucking get it together… I felt my face flushing – as long as I didn’t look in his direction, he wouldn’t see it… right?

I sighed. I need to be spayed…

-----

“Briefing hostages. Stand-by ‘til further notice.” Roze’s voice echoed over the comms. She, Juno, Oni, and Zero had made it to the hostages. Castillo had helped get them there smoothly, and now it was up to Konig, Horangi, O’Connor, Fender, and I to finish taking out the check points. Majka, Ridgeback’s second-in-command and our current operator, had cut comms for the enemy. Konig and Horangi had already started clearing their checkpoints – there wasn’t much coming from their end of the comms, so I assumed they were managing fine.

I made it to the top of the tower I was in, hiding behind the wall outside of the checkpoint I needed to clear. The entire location of the rendezvous was run down – possibly an old, abandoned power plant. The buildings were in a deteriorating state, making it slightly harder to work my way closer to the enemy soldiers in the room. But I was good at being quiet, so I managed.

I carefully peered around the edge of the doorway – the hallway outside of the room was dark enough to conceal me from the soldiers. Two were positioned outside of another wing in the room; one was facing forwards, staring at the room in front of him and guarding the door at his side. The other was looking out the window, completely ignoring the room he was supposed to be guarding. Inside the room appeared to be three more soldiers, two of them sitting at a computer and bitching about the comms being broken, and the third tweaking his sniper foxhole.

They’re a mess… I thought to myself. I smirked, knowing this would be an easy take-down.

“Bonnie to Majka. I’m engaging.” I said into my comms.

A few moments of silence before he responded. “Clear, sergeant. Give ‘em hell.”

“Copy.”

I took a few deep, quick breaths, flooding the oxygen into my blood and keeping the adrenaline at bay. I jumped around the corner and sank a knife into a soldier’s neck. He gurgled and dropped his gun. Another soldier turned at the commotion – I ripped the same knife from the first body and threw it. Rather than shank him, the edge sliced across his jugular. He barely had enough time to lift his gun before he collapsed, grabbing his throat. I grabbed his body as it fell, quietly guiding it to the floor. I picked up my knife and sank to my heels, pressing myself against the wall. The doorway to the next room was to my left. I exhaled silently. In a swift moment, I snatched one of the fallen soldier’s gun and shouldered it. Never hurts to have another one.

I heard the guards in the other room, alerted by the sounds of the struggle. One of them rounded the corner – I hid in the shadow, waiting until he had fully stepped beyond the other room. I used my knife to slash across each of his Achilles tendons, easily cutting past the material of his boot. He fell with a loud cry – I quickly used the butt of my gun by bashing it against his head, knocking him out in two hits.

I saw one of the remaining two guards in the room through the doorway. I quickly threw my knife at him and lodged it in his neck, but not before he managed to pull the trigger on his gun. He fired a few shots as he went down, gun pointed at the ceiling and ricocheting off of the concrete. Before the last soldier could react, I quickly turned into the doorway, shooting him dead in the face with my gun. He flopped against the back of the wall, body twitching for a moment, before he went still.

I turned back around, looking at the third soldier, lying on the ground. I fired one last shot into his head, ensuring he was dead.

I exhaled heavily. Not my smoothest work, but still timely.

I stood in place, assessing the damage around me. The strong scent of iron began to overtake the room, blood seeping from each body. I pulled my knife out of the fourth soldier’s neck, wiping the blood off against his sleeve and sheathing it. I sighed and began scavenging through the bodies for anything useful.

“Bonnie, how copy?” Majka’s thick accent filtered through the comm.

“Checkpoint two cleared.” I responded. I ripped out the magazine from a gun identical to the one I stole, shoving it into my vest. “Upgrading my inventory a bit.”

“You just got started!” he said, a bit frustrated and shocked.

I gave the room a last glance. “And? I just got finished. What’s my next move?”

There was a brief pause. “O’Connor, how copy?”

The click of O’Connor’s comm came on, followed by the sounds of struggling and muffled punches and hits. “Fender and I are still occupied!” he grunted.

“Roze, position status.”

“Package secured, hostages briefed.” Roze’s voice was hushed.“Ready to move, and enemies inbound towards us.”

“Castillo, how copy?”

“One klick out, ready in FFP. Waiting for target.” Castillo responded.

“O’Connor?!”

“Busy!!” O’Connor said, irritated; the faint sounds of gunshots firing echoed in the background.

“Majka, this is Bonnie:” I said quickly among the commotion. “Sir, I’m in range to follow the package from here. I can clear the path with Castillo, I’ve got eyes up to the objective rally point.”

I heard a disgruntled sigh on the other end of the channel. “You don’t have your sniper rifle, Bonnie.” He said.

“My checkpoint had a foxhole. I’m set up with one.” I looked around me; the walls separating me from the outside weren’t that thick, but they would be enough to hide me. “I’ve got decent cover, too.”

“For fucks sake…” Majka sighed into the comm. “Then get on it.”

Immediately, I kneeled beside the sniper rifle the one soldier had been adjusting. I tweaked its position, changing its trajectory until I was satisfied. I unshouldered both of my guns, before sitting in front of the rifle and getting comfortable. I angled it until I saw the building where the hostiles were being kept in my scope.

“I’m in FFP.” I relayed over my comms. “Ready on your command, Majka.”

“Copy.” Majka replied. “Roze, you’re clear to move.”

I watched closely through my scope as Roze exited the building, followed by the hostages and the rest of the team. She led the group, Juno and Zero covering the sides, and Oni covering their six.

“Bonnie, Castillo, talk to me.” She said quietly.

“I eliminated three hostiles on your path, clear to move forward.” Castillo’s voice echoed.

I focused on the area to Roze’s nine ‘o clock. Three enemy soldiers were slowly making their way towards her – I quickly fired at them, taking two of them down with a single bullet as they were lined up perfectly. The third one ducked down, frantically scanning around to find where the bullet had come from. I aimed my crosshair at him and pulled the trigger at him – he dropped to the ground within the same second.

“Three more eliminated. Your nine is clear.” I said to Roze.

“Copy.” She replied.

I continued to scan ahead of their path with my scope. A few times, Juno and Oni fired to the right of the group, followed by a few shots from Castillo. I knocked out two more targets on their left. The rest of the path went smoothly, and they made it to the exfil point. I scanned what parts of the area I could see from my window, searching for any rogue soldiers that might be left. O’Connor and Fender had finished clearing their checkpoint by then. After a few more minutes of that, and the “ok” from Majka to pack up, it was clear that there wasn’t anyone left on the field besides the Kortac team members.

“Well, that was sloppy on their part.” I commented.

“Ridgeback said it would be.” Majka replied. “Said the hostiles were a big enough gang that ended up with powerful weapons, and just wanted some cash. Kidnapped an easy bunch of relatives of a government official. Probably thought they had a chance.”

I chuckled. “So the payout won’t be great, I’m assuming?” I shouldered my guns, grabbing the sniper rifle and exiting the room.

“Don’t be so sure about that…” Juno piped into the conversation, shouting over the sound of the helicopter blades. “Europeans officials are loaded. Plus, they typically pay a lot to save their reputation.”

“You mean their families?”

“Potato, potahto.” Juno replied.

The rest of us reconnected at the exfil point. As with most of the teams I had gone on missions with, I was the cleanest out of everyone. O’Connor and Fender looked tired and worn, blood splattering their uniforms, dropping their guns with their bags and collapsing onto the seats of the aircraft. Horangi, cleaner than some, seemed to be riding off of an adrenaline high, clapping everyone on their backs and declaring a mission well done – despite that it had been a rather easy one.

I dropped myself onto a seat and looked at my hands, only painted with a few smears of blood. I then leaned my head back against the wall. I thought of what I could have done better. I could have caught the one soldier sooner before he hit the ground – that would’ve kept the others from being alerted. I could have been quicker shooting the last one. Cutting the guys heels… that was flashy. Unnecessary. Same for throwing my knife the second time. I could have just shot the last two. Would have made things quicker.

Suddenly, I heard heavy bootsteps climbing the ramp to the plane. I casually opened one of my eyes, then the other, staring in shock.

Konig dragged himself up the ramp. He was covered in bloodstains, across his vest, his mask, his pants – he held his gun, the end of it spattered in blood. His knuckles were tight under his gloves as he clutched the barrel of the gun in one hand, the other hanging by his side. His shoulders were tense, heaving up and down with each, heavy breath, and his body language was laced with venom.

His eyes were the worst part; they peered through his mask, wide and blood-shot. They were dripping with a post-massacre adrenaline. They stared directly ahead as he appeared to calm himself. He looked like a wild animal that had just killed its prey – for fun.

He ripped out his mags and tossed his gun into the pile, taking a seat directly across from me and grabbing his tablet. He began aggressively punching the buttons on it, his eyes still sinister and cold. He muttered under his breath in German, his voice low and gravelly.

I shivered slightly, before looking away from him and back at the ceiling. Is this what Roze was talking about? I thought.

---

Taglist: @igotmajordaddyissues @princekonig @vixionix

Let me know if you'd like to be added!! ^^^

[fandomfics]

Different Tropes for Different Folks

A Tumblr Made Me Do It fic

Pairing: Deadpool/Wade Wilson x Mutant Pyrokenetic gn Reader

Description: Wade tries using different romance tropes he's seen on Tumblr to get his crush to notice him as more than just a friend.

Masterlist

⚠️Warnings⚠️

Italics are 4th wall breaks, violence, language, fluff

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

*Wade Wilson dawning his well known Deadpool suit sits in a plush armchair in a library*

I have the most raging heart boner for you, reader. A heart-on if you will. This crush is actually emotionally crushing me. Maybe you're oblivious or just want me as a friend. I guess there's only one way to find out...Put you into every romance trope until I have my answer. Que the intro!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

You and Wade Wilson have been friends a long time, best friends in fact. You know every dirty little secret about each other, or so you think. Lately he's been acting weird, well... weirder than usual.

"Hey Wade, what's up?" You say as you walk into the kitchen of your shared apartment.

"Gotta mission for us, gonna be a doozy. Probably take weeks. Just you and me. On an island. With a bunch of other people."

"Okay," you draw out the word, "who's the target?."

"Some shit stain human trafficker, one of the higher ups, but we have to play the long game, get info on their base of operations."

"Sounds fun!"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

When you arrive to the the tropical island resort by boat the beautiful white sands and crystal clear waters draw you in, they're unlike anything you've seen in person before. You admire your surroundings as you walk down the dock, smelling the crisp clean air, feel the warmth of the sun on your skin.

"Oh yeah, we're married. Well fake married. I did a lot of research for this mission, and it's our best bet." Wade whispers.

You're stunned and unsure how to respond, so you thread your arm through his and continue to the resort.

"Checking in for the Wilsons." Wade says with a smile.

"Yes, three weeks in our honeymoon suite for the newlyweds! Congratulations!" The receptionist offers a smile back.

"You got those little do not disturb door hangers? We are definitely gonna need one of those if you know what I mean." He winks and the receptionists smile falters a bit before handing him the keys.

. . .

"Oh my god Wade, this is gorgeous!" You exclaim looking around the spacious room. A breeze gently wafting through an open window blows the curtains into the room where a plush king sized canopy bed rests. On the other side of the large room is a living area with a couch.

"How did you afford this?"

"A Merc never reveals his secrets!" He replies with a wink. "I guess I'll take the couch." He looks at you waiting for you to say something.

"Okay!"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

It was not, in fact, okay. I guess I should have made sure there weren't couches in the room. Fuck. One bed trope, useless.

I read a fic where there were too many beds and they still confessed their love for each other! Next step is getting caught somewhere we're not supposed to be so we have to kiss.

Hehehe

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

You spend the first few days casing the resort and making preparations for the arrival of your targets. At some point you find yourselves on the way out of the managers office when you're almost caught.

"Kiss me!" You whisper yell to Wade when you hear someone behind you in the hall. Without hesitation he pushes you against the wall and kisses you hard. You lean into it, making a show of it as the footsteps approach, Wade moves down your jaw to your neck to give you a better view. A Soft small moan escapes you when he hits your pulse point and you feel him smile into your neck as you slap your hand over your mouth.

His chuckle reverberates against your skin and you can feel his hands gently moving down your back and grabbing at your ass. Your hands hold the back of his head to keep him close as you keep an eye out for the owner of the footsteps. You feel him harden against you and his hips roll as he lets out his own soft moan in your ear, sending a wave of arousal through you.

"This is a restricted area, no guests allowed."

"Oh, shit! Sorry." You say breathily as you push Wade off of you and take his hand, running down the hallway with a giggle.

When you're finally out of earshot Wade speaks up, "Sounded to me like you enjoyed that. We should almost get caught more often."

You roll your eyes and laugh, "felt like you enjoyed it... I'm sure you could find someone to fuck around with while we're here if that's what you're looking for."

His face falls a bit, but his smile remains, "Can't do that Honey Bunny," he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer as you walk through the lobby, "we have to keep up appearances as newlyweds." He whispers.

A chill runs down your spine when you feel his hot breath on the shell of your ear. You've always loved Wade as a person, a friend. You've never thought of him as more though, never wondered what it would be like to be with him in that way. You certainly are now though.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Okay, we're onto something here. Definitely need more opportunities for flustering. That little moan. HEAVENLY. I need to hear more of that.

We still have forced proximity, being emotionally vulnerable, maybe I can get myself captured so they are forced to confront their feelings for me. So many options, so little time.

I wonder if you'll hate me for all this later on...? Like when I tell you I did all this will we have a moment where you feel betrayed and I'll have to win you back. Or if I don't tell you and you find out through some other nefarious means like my mortal enemy trying to steal you away from me.

I mean, it's not like I'm lying to you, I'm just manipulating events to give me opportunities to woo you in unconventional ways. Eh, I bet you'll think it's a funny story.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The following morning you sneak away to enjoy some time to yourself on the beach. As you watch the sunrise you hear footsteps behind you, glancing back you see Wade.

"You know, if you aren't going to use the bed to sleep in in the mornings, I will gladly take it..." He says stifling a yawn as he sits at your side.

"Why are you awake?"

"I heard you leave, you were loud as fuck stomping around like a god damn T-Rex!" His elbow nudges your side.

"Bullshit." You lean into him with a chuckle. "You could sleep through a hurricane."

"I...had a nightmare." He studies his hands, "couldn't go back to sleep. So figured I'd come find you so we can go pretend to be married at the spa. Couples massage?"

"you know you don't have to deflect every time. You can talk to me about these things, if you need to."

"No, it's fine." He gives you a half hearted laugh. "Already forgot about it."

"Must be bad if you don't feel like talking." You lean your head on his shoulder.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Oh wait, fuck! This is my chance for emotional vulnerability!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"You died and I couldn't do anything to stop it."

"Wade, I know that you would do anything in your power to keep me around even if it's just to annoy me another day. BFFFs. Couldn't get rid of me if you tried anyway." You squeeze his arm as you raise your eyes and see a look you can't quite place.

"Like I'd ever want to do that." You hold his gaze for a moment. You're drawn to the way he's looking at you, like he has so much to say but he's speechless. A fucking first.

Tension crackles in the small space between you until out of nowhere a frisbee nails Wade in the side of the head.

"Are you okay?" You say stifling a laugh.

Wade picks up the frisbee and flings it as far as he possibly can into the sea, "Hope you can swim asshole! My blind roommate has better aim then you, and she's a coke fiend!"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Thanks to the teen with terrible aim and timing worse than Tommy Wiseau for the whole near-kiss-that-gets-interrupted thing. Not really what I was going for, but the lil shit head set that train in motion.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

A week later you've made friends with the wife of the target. Yourself and Wade have joined them for dinner, and the drinks are flowing freely.

"How did you two meet?" She probes.

"Well," Wade starts, "we both got hired for the same job. Kept yelling at me needing to fuck off, I wasn't the one getting paid for it. Yadda yadda yadda. Turns out it was a clerical error, and love at first sight." He looks into your eyes, and you swear you see nothing but sincerity before he wraps an arm around your shoulder and kisses your forehead. "You absolutely loathed me though, said I looked like I needed a hug from a bear...while covered in salmon chunks." He laughs.

You playfully bat at his chest, "Only a little bit." A smirk graces your face thinking back to your first encounter. "He saw how good I was and asked me to help with his next gig. The rest is history."

"History that involved me begging you to help me again and again just so I could be around you. You kept hurling those cute little insults at me too."

. . .

"I think that went really well. Before you know it they're going to be inviting us to their suite for a party."

"And just how do you plan on making that happen Pookie?"

"Colombian Marching Powder."

"Oh, you naughty lil thing you! When Feige is away the mice will play!" He claps his hands excitedly.

"You did good at dinner by the way. Coming up with that on the fly."

"I just told em what actually happened. I've watched enough romcoms to know that the basis for any good fake marriage is the meet-cute. So it's gotta be something I'll remember. I came up with like five other options but they all involved tigers or Icelandic death metal bands and I was starting to-"

Suddenly pieces start to connect in your mind, "When you told me you did a lot of research for this mission you meant just watching a bunch of romcoms didn't you?"

"I also took an acting class." He says proudly ignoring your eye roll. "Patrick Dempsey's school for wayward actors."

"You're ridiculous."

"Yeah, but you love it!"

You hide your smile as you turn away, you do. You can't deny his off the wall behavior is what kept you hanging around Wade, never a dull moment.

"You don't have to keep sleeping on the couch... I'll share the bed with you. I better not wake up with you spooning me though."

"No promises!" He says taking a running leap onto the bed landing with a giggle.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Quite an interesting lil development. Looks like hitting you with everything at once is working. Soon enough you'll realize-

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Wade, why are you talking to yourself in the closet? Again." He lets out a little scream and covers his eyes with one hand as light floods the small space.

"Can't a guy talk dirty to himself while beating his meat in a dark closet in peace? Have some respect!"

You raise your hands in mock surrender, "okay, well I'm going to bed, good night you fucking weirdo."

"Oooh, I'll join!!

"Remember, no spooning!"

"Your loss really."

. . .

"Psst....hey."

your eyes open slowly in the dark room, "hmm?"

"I know you said no spooning but this is nice."

You look down and realize that at some point in the night you've bundled yourself close behind him and thrown your arm over his side. You scramble away and turn onto your other side without a word.

. . .

Another few days have passed and you've further ingratiated yourself with the target's wife. You've planned after dinner drinks in their room, and this is when you and Wade will strike.

After partying it up with the couple, a night of drinking and drugs that Wade actually partakes in and you pretend to partake in, you manage to chloroform them and tie them to chairs facing each other.

While they're out you and Wade search the room for for anything related to the trafficking ring, but come up with nothing.

"Guess we're gonna have to have a good ol torture sesh!"

. . .

You hear a groan behind you as the target wakes up, "show time!" Wade hops up and stands between them facing the man.

"Mornin' punkin!" He flicks the man on the forehead and he flinches.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"I'm Deadpool," he says gesturing to the suit he dawned while they were out cold, "and this hot piece of ass, full pun intended, is my lover from the fire nation on a mission to find the avatar."

Both you and the target look to Wade in confusion before he continues. "Now, you're going to tell me all the dirty little details of your little ring or I'll start peeling your wife like an onion, and not in the sexy way."

"I swear I don't know what you're talking about about, please, just leave us alone." The man starts to sob as a wet spot forms at his crotch.

"Oh...you do not inspire fear as a leader should. Pookie, are you sure we got the right couple?"

Before you have a chance to speak the woman frantically pleads, "please, don't hurt us! I promise, we won't say anything, just let us go!"

"I don't think we got it wrong..." You chime in ignoring the woman. "Maybe he took the same acting class as you." You shrug.

"With a face like Hugh Jackman's, I would have remembered this stud." He finds their passports to confirm their identities. "Yup, these are them."

You move to stand next to the woman, extending your palm in front of you and igniting a flame the size of a softball. You watch it flicker as you speak. "Tell us what we want to know and we won't torture you...much."

"I need information on your base of operations."

"That's public information, it's a multi-million dollar retailer, you don't -"

"Not that dumbass, the trafficking ring." You bring the fire close to the woman's face, she's clearly far more composed in the face of the danger you're presenting her, "hmm, I think she's actually the target here."

Wade turns to see what you see, a stoic woman, no longer pleading, just waiting for what comes next.

"Shit. Family meeting!" Wade yells as he pulls you away from the couple, "We're gonna have to put a different spin on this. You stay here, I need to go get something."

He leaves the room and you're left with the whimpering man and his badass wife. You stand before the man, trying to determine if his wife loves him enough to tell you what you need to know to avoid him being harmed when you feel the prick of a knife at your throat.

"Fuck."

"You really should pat down your victims better."

"Wade's the one that does the groping, not me." You retort casually.

Just then the door swings open and Wade bursts in with a skimpy police costume over his suit and a boom box from the early 2000s playing If You Seek Amy by Brittany Spears.

"You know shes not really saying- ah, shit." The door closes behind him and he drops the boom box. "Alright, let's talk this out. This was all just a big elaborate stripper gram sent by your friends! For your anniversary!"

"Cut the bullshit," she says holding you firmly to her, "you move a muscle and this knife plunges right into-"

Shots ring out before you know what's happened and blood splatters across your face.

"Nope. Not happening." He reaches out a hand and you take it, "Let's go."

You manage to make it to the hallway and round the corner before you hear voices ahead. Wade ducks into a room marked employees only and you follow suit finding yourself in a cramped linen closet, chest to chest.

"Well this is cozy." He whispers as you grab a towel to wipe the blood from your face.

"Well, we wouldn't be in this situation if you hadn't shot her!"

"She was going to murder you!" He whisper yells as he yanks off his mask.

"She was going to use me as leverage to get away and we could have followed her Wade."

"Not a risk I was willing to take."

You roll your eyes and go silent, listening to the commotion beyond the door. "We're gonna be here a while."

His arms wrap around you unexpectedly and he embraces you tightly. "You said you knew I'd do anything in my power to keep you around. So suck it up buttercup."

"Damn, you got me there." You say returning his embrace.

When you pull away as much as you can in the small Space you find the courage to ask something that's been on your mind, "when you said it was love at first sight...was that part... True?"

"Abso-fuckin-lutely Honey Bunny."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because, as in any good romcom, I was a little bitch with insecurities. I look like the love child of a piece of pizza that fucked Freddy Krueger and then got pushed into a wood chipper."

"Just because you aren't conventionally attractive, doesn't mean I'm not drawn to you. I see more than just what's on the surface. I see someone that matches my freak in the best way possible." You stare deep into his eyes and pull his face to yours.

"Is this sexual tension? Did I find the right trope? Are we finally doing this?"

"Shut up and kiss me Wade!" He follows your orders immediately. The kiss is long and deep, full of years of desire that you didn't realize weighed so heavily on you. All this time the love you felt for him wasnt just that of a friend, it was more.

"Is that your gun or are you just happy to see me?" You smile when you finally pull away.

"Yes"

"Yes what?"

"To both."

"I will light you on fire Wade Winston Wilson"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

And that, dear reader, is how you realized you love me.

"I was there, it happened yesterday. Get out of the closet...and stop calling me reader!"

"Okay Hunny Bunny."

[notgilderoylockhart]

The Wolfkiller Cloak

So I have this thing where sometimes I see something on screen and my brain just short-circuits. It scratches my brain just right, I need to have this, I need to make this. And that’s what happened in nearly every episode of Interview with the Vampire, but especially in season 2 episode 3 “No Pain”. 

This cloak has seared itself into my brain. The soft shine, the drape, the movement of the fabric (as Lestat is dragged across the floor and smashed against the wall) had bewitched me, body and mind. So I went out researching and decided to make one for myself, based on this pattern for a hooded cloak.

The fabric I used was stretchy velvet (for budget reasons, 6m) and a black lining fabric with a small diamond print (for fun, 4m). The pattern I used doesn't include a lining and I did think about leaving it out but in the behind the scenes footage (and when Armand smashes him against the wall, thank you for that) you could clearly see that there clearly is a dark lining on the inside of the cloak and my brain decided leaving it out just wasn't an option. So I just cut out the front and back piece twice, one velvet and one lining.

It might be 35°C and sunny outside, but you gotta press those seams. At least for the lining fabric. Then we can pin the lining to the the velvet, sew them together at the collar and start hemming the sides. Be warned. It's a lot of fabric, so you're gonna need a lot of space. I would also recommend (if you're using a stretchy fabric like me) to pin and, if you're able, even sew the hems while it's hanging on a hanger. Yes, I handstitched the sides and bottom hem. Ever since I started looking into historical reconstructions, I have kind of fallen in love with the lack of visible seams. Not to mention that hand stitching has also become something of a favorite pastime of mine while rewatching IWTV.

Now I shortened it, which was quite hard to do simply because it's so much fabric and I don't have a mannequin. So I hung it up, pinned where I wanted to cut it, tried it on, took a video, so I could see the where the cut would be and went from there. Took me a few tries, but I'm quite happy with how it turned out.

Now that that's done, we can attach the shorter layer and the hood. My biggest issue was finding some fur, but lucky for me, I was cat-sitting for my downstairs neighbor who has been working as a theater seamstress for 40 year and who was out of town for the weekend, visiting her son who, unbeknownst to me, also worked for a big theater company. And both of them had made it their personal mission to find me some faux fur. And they did. This incredible faux fur was everything I wanted it to be. A wolf-gray with a red shimmer and some darker spots. I was over the moon.

And it was totally worth coughing up hairballs for the rest of the evening. In the original pattern there actually is a hood lining, but I just replaced that with the fur. I would absolutely recommend stitching the fur and the hood together, as the pattern instructions say. Do as I say, not as I do.

The other issue I had was the fur on the hood. I had ordered a faux fur hood attachment for a winter jacket, but the look and the feel just wasn't the same. So I went on ebay, as I so often do late at night, and kind of hit the jackpot. A fox fur stole, not one person bidding on it, 3 days left to go. Yup, I got it. 30 bucks plus shipping.

I mean, come on. What a difference.

The last issue, the final problem so to speak, was the fact that there was a big border of velvet on the inside of the cloak. Now I tried attaching a long piece of velvet fabric, but it just wouldn't sit right and after the 3rd time attaching and reattaching and getting increasingly frustrated I simply took the easy way out. I cut out a triangular piece of velvet and attached it right where the cloak would open. Sue me.

And there you have it.

And because it's summer rn and I don't have the energy to head outside at night to take some actual pics, I decided to whip something up in photoshop.

[radscorpionsandrifles]

I kinda don't have the energy to go 100% deep into a whole explanation on why I just don't care for the Sly Cooper franchise. So instead I want to give the smaller version after doing a bit of research over the past year as I've been playing games.

Also obvious, but this post does contain spoilers.

(Trigger warning, explained ableism and racism under the cut.)

- To start with I just was never big on the gameplay for Sly 2 and 3. I think 4 was more tolerable in gameplay and that Sly 1 more level based approach is something I preferred.

- The Sly Cooper franchise is really bad about adding in mini games for padding out time. And none of them are fun either.

- Racism, so much fucking racism. Every single game has it to some degree. But 2 and 4 are the worst ones. I won't dig too far here as legit all you have to do is look up, 'Sly Cooper racism,' to find way too many examples of things that the series did wrong.

- Ableism man. In Sly 2 Bently the turtle; the brains of the team, becomes paralyzed from the waist down. Bently is not good disabled rep, and while they do what is the bare fucking minimum, he has issues in characterization that disabled people have pointed out over the years. Plus a lot of Sly's villains are disabled and pushed into a super bad light. No thank you.

- I don't think I will ever be able to look at Sly 3 without thinking about the fact that they made the indigenous Australian character speak gibberish. Like no. Despite having a giving land back plot, there is still racism there that I will never be able to get over. That one moment stands out so much to me.

- The fact that Sly 4 broke fucking everything. Multiple characters do things that I think are out of line. Bently goes dark in chapter four after finding out Penelope is the Black Knight. That felt very out of character to me. Penelope's redesign felt tasteless where in Sly 3 it connected to her personality. Plus Penelope's whole arc just felt like it broke down all her good development in Sly 3. The plot overall sucked and wasn't executed well at all. Not to mention that the game turned 10 last year and ended on a cliff hanger that no one liked. The franchise is dead at this point and ended at Sly being stuck in time. The main antagonist was uninteresting and his motives weren't explained until right before the final boss. Oh and the final boss fight is awful. It's just, "press the button that shows up on screen."

- The sexualization of Carmelita fox. Sly 3 and 4 do some pretty yikes things. Again Sly 4 being the worst. In Sly 4 her whole character is just so hit and miss between having understandable moments and being used for sexual undertones and scenes. It doesn't actually feel like Carmelita. It's the fact that Sly 4 broke down her development from the past 3 games just so they could add a belly dancing scene. I wouldn't care as much if it was a new character they created for the game, not someone who had their character arcs striped from them.

- Thinking of Carmelita, I don't personally care for the arc she has with Sly. I think that for me this is very much an example of, "enemies to lovers that didn't have enough screen time to show why I should care." The trope can be done well, I just think that it wasn't done well here. The ending to Sly 3 always threw me off, and 4 made their dynamic even more confusing.

- Awful subtitle integration. The subtitles are not accessible, plain and simple. They only cover certain scenes and sections. Some cutscenes will have them, others will not. It's aggravating, because it's not accessible to people who are hard of hearing or deaf. Along with people who are neurodivergent. I like having both text and audio in these types of games. It did make it harder to play.

- A good chunk of the cutscenes can not be skipped.

- Sly 4's forced motion controls. (That also don't work the best.)

These are just the heavy hitters, and this is why I just don't like the games. While now understand why Sly Cooper fans want a new game, I still would prefer a new Spyro instead. (And Spyro has issues too, I am very aware.)

But like anything I cover, I like to go, "hey this thing bad." Even if I'm not the best at explaining it, because it is 100% worth pointing out.

There are many franchises that I like that have issues that I like to talk about. Because some people who maybe have never touched the series or just plain oblivious to it all.

I hope this helps people understand a bit of the issues the series has, and why I didn't enjoy it.

[mamthew]

SPOILERS: thoughts on FFXIV: Dawntrail

I had no idea what to expect from Final Fantasy XIV's new Dawntrail expansion. 2021's Endwalker ended up being probably the most resonant piece of art I have experienced in my life, but I had no illusions that they'd manage to do something like that a second time, nor did I need them to. Endwalker was the ending of a story arc that covered the initial story and three expansions, that then released during a global pandemic, a year after the death of my father. There was a lot of confluence there that would be impossible to recreate.

Dawntrail, on the other hand, promised to be the beginning of a new story - a jumping-on point that would still incorporate previously introduced characters, but in a way that would be more newbie-friendly. I don't have much regard for people who story-skip, but I did at least appreciate the logic of a new story for our old characters now that they've saved the universe from despair and mostly done away with the villainous hangers-on from the old Eden from which the world of Etheirys and its thirteen alternate forms were born. There's still a ton of lore potential to the universe of ffxiv that's fairly removed from the old conflicts, so it was exciting to think that they'd be mining some of that.

Each of the expansions for XIV has been loosely based on each of the old Final Fantasies, in order. Heavensward reuses elements of FFI, Stormblood FFII, Shadowbringers FFIII, and Endwalker FFIV, so I naturally assumed that Dawntrail would lean into FFV elements. I was surprised, then, when they instead said it would be based on FFIX - my favorite in the series besides XIV. That said, it would also be set in the "new world" - a pair of continents across the ocean to the west of the protagonist's home countries, roughly analogous in location and culture to the pre-colonial Americas. As FFIX is based on western Europe, to the point that members of the development staff traveled to Europe to research design aspects of the game, it seemed an odd fit. Still, I wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth, and I happily shelled out for my Zidane and Garnet minions.

The first two-thirds or so of the game do not in any way resemble IX. They're probably closest to XV. Wuk Lamat, adopted daughter of the leader of Tural, has to compete against three other possible successors to determine who's most fit to ascend his throne. She has hired the strongest warrior in the lands outside of Tural to help her compete, and that warrior is you. Thus, like XV, the opening chunk of the game follows a royal and her retinue touring major settlements throughout her nation in preparation for her ascension to the throne. Like XV, Dawntrail does often feel like a road trip. The rest of Wuk Lamat's retinue is made up of several of the protagonist's friends from throughout the previous expansions; the stakes are shockingly low by our crew's standards (the number of world leaders the Warrior of Light has installed has got to rival the CIA by this point, so one more isn't especially noteworthy); and the locations are beautiful, filled with friendly people from diverse and interesting cultures. This expansion released with a pretty sizeable graphics upgrade, too, which further enhances the feeling of taking in the beautiful sights in a foreign country.

Wuk Lamat is essentially the protagonist of Dawntrail, a la Lyse in Stormblood. It's a good call, since the Warrior of Light is too strong and experienced to leave much uncertainty as to whether she can defeat any given opponent or resolve any given conflict. Wuk Lamat, on the other hand, is young and kinda an unknown quantity. Whether she'd even be the right call for the throne is up in the air at the beginning of the story, so through challenging the trials in the competition to lead the country, she's proving herself to the player as well as to the country. Several major established friends of the Warrior of Light actually back one of Wuk Lamat's rivals as well, for more considered reasons than the protagonist's own retinue has, which contributes to a sense of uncertainty as to whether she will - or even should - take the throne. I really enjoyed having the Warrior of Light take this mentor role for a good chunk of the expansion; providing support and guidance to someone who will need to learn quickly if she's going to lead a whole nation.

Wuk Lamat carries this sizeable story importance well, too; she's impulsive and compassionate, ready to fight to help people without necessarily weighing the consequences of her actions. She believes herself to be very knowledgeable about the many cultures and peoples living in Tural, but soon realizes she has much to learn. Quickly, her willingness to learn - to ask questions and chase what she doesn't know so she can better understand the people around her - develops into her biggest strength. She is, definitionally, radical, in that she digs down to the historical or material roots of a conflict or atrocity to determine what needs to be changed to rectify the issue, which is nice to see in a story, even if it's handled clumsily at times. She's dynamic and likeable, strong but flawed. If Dawntrail was a mainline title and not an expansion, she'd easily be near the top of my list of best FF protagonists. As it is, she's absolutely a worthy addition to the huge roster of great characters in ffxiv.

I have some mixed feelings, however, on Tural itself. Tural as a nation, in its current iteration, has only existed for a few decades. Eighty years ago, Dawnservant Gulool Ja Ja - Wuk Lamat's adopted father - traveled throughout both continents with a growing roster of allies and used his peerless strength and wisdom to pretty much solve every major conflict between cultures in the entire land. His city of Tulliyolal, then, is super new and still led by its initial founder. Many of the historic cultural practices the party learns about only date back to when Gulool Ja Ja helped create them. I like this idea, to a point. "Dawnservant," as a title, is clearly meant to be analogous to the Warrior of Light, so Gulool Ja Ja was for his continents what your protagonist was for Eorzea, Ilsabard, Othard, Thavnair, the First and Thirteenth reflections, and Ultima Thule - a Really Really Big Strong Guy who cut through the shit and fixed stuff by being big and strong, collecting a diverse group of loyal friends in the process. That's cool, but it comes at the cost of much of a greater historical context for the nation.

While Tural has some ancient history, the chronal scale of much of it pales in comparison to, say Sharlayan, who left a boat on top of a mountain in Gyr Abania fifteen centuries ago. This is pretty different from the...real-world cultures Tural is based on. While conquistadors may have called Tenochtitlan part of "the New World," that city had been around for around two centuries by the time they got there. I don't love the framing of this country as being literally "new." There's an easy fix to this problem, too: just make it so Gulool Ja Ja did this stuff two hundred years ago instead of eighty. Players aren't going to question whether two-headed mamool-ja, viera, or giants can live that long. If you can say eighty years, then you can say two-hundred, and that gives Tural a little more time to have a history. Tural also has many of the features the United States claims to have, but with no irony or darker side. It's a melting pot, but because all these different people with different cultures and beliefs already lived there and a Big Guy came through eighty years ago and solved their disagreements.

My issues with the setting got even dicier when the characters traveled to the northern continent. Xak Tural is designed after the North American Western frontier, with two wild west-style towns built only in the last twenty years, an older town of pueblo-style houses, and an encampment of tipis. The people and places there all have Native American names, while the people living in the pueblos and tipis are explained away as being "more traditional" and against the oil drilling operation and railroad the new frontier-style towns have brought. At one point, a railroad operator meets with one of these "traditional" leaders, hears he has concerns about the railroad, and says "we'll talk about it," which pretty much ends the conflict. It's an oddly bloodless depiction of the deep divides between old and new in colonial and imperialist North America, especially in a game that's usually pretty good about refusing an easy answer to historical traumas broadly and imperialism and colonialism specifically. The characters in Xak Tural all have USian accents too, in stark contrast to the accents everywhere else in ffxiv, which is an accent I associate with having reached a late stage of imperialism. It's not an accent I consider - at least in the language of fantasy storytelling - to represent indigenous characters living unmolested in their historic homelands.

But this discomfort recontextualizes some of the rest of ffxiv, too. If I don't feel great about the fact that real-life conflicts between colonizers and the colonized that fueled countless real-life genocides are being mined here to give Gulool Ja Ja another notch on his belt, why shouldn't I feel the same way about the Warrior of Light having brought the feuding Dwarf tribes back together? Or ending the conquest of Bozja and Zadnor? Again, the stakes for this story are pretty low because the Warrior of Light has installed so many world leaders already, but that's...kinda messed up, when you think about it. I'd already had some hang-ups about Stormblood - an expansion with a story about getting Mongolian tribes to team up with Korean peasants to form an army to free Japan from the Soviet Union to create a distraction that will ease the pressure on the Mujahideen, to whom you are covertly providing military aid so a Soviet military base won't be able to focus on your own country. But those hang-ups were noticeable because Stormblood is so bad in comparison to all the other expansions. Dawntrail, on the other hand, is good! And still uncomfortable! So there's nowhere else to channel my discomfort.

The back half of the game introduces a twist that's also where most of the FFIX references come in. The fabled "golden city" turns out to be a portal to another reflection (or alternate dimension), which attacks Tulliyolal with a robot army and traps a section of the northern continent under an impenetrable energy dome. When Wuk Lamat and the Warrior of Light's party invade the dome, they find that the land there has fused with a city from this other reflection, like in FFV, and thirty years have passed within the dome. Much of the rest of the game is focused on Wuk Lamat applying the strategies she learned over the course of the Dawnservant competition on this new, strange and hostile kingdom. It's a good idea and in hindsight I really like the story resonance there, especially since her strategies help her make headway but ultimately fall short and don't prevent a conflict between the nations, forcing her to develop some new strategies. But in the moment, it's harder to tell that this is what's happening, and the sharp change from exploring a mostly pre-industrial South and Central America to exploring a sci-fi culture borne out of Western Europe gave me whiplash. I stepped back some and did a few side things at this point, which is pretty odd for me when going through a new story.

This kingdom, Alexandria, was once nearly identical to the kingdom of Alexandria in the original FFIX, gorgeously rendered in FFXIV's new graphics. After a devastating calamity that killed countless citizens, the kingdom put up a protective barrier and over time developed a culture around technology used to avert the trauma of losing so many and the pain of living a difficult life under a deadly eternal lightning storm. Their solutions were to implement storage systems for memories and souls, allowing people to reload their memories on harvested souls when they die of unnatural causes, continuing their lives until they die of old age. When someone dies, all memory of them is deleted from the minds of everyone who ever met them (a FF Type-0 reference), so that no one has to deal with the pain of loss. Then, the memories of the deceased are sent to a highly curated virtual afterlife that runs on the energy of harvested souls, so they can live a blissful existence for the rest of eternity. This is why Alexandria plans to invade Tulliyolal: they're running dangerously low on soul energy, and their whole society breaks down without it, so they plan to violently harvest those souls from other reflections.

This conflict is a pretty short hop away from the central conflict in FFIX, which also involved nations committing genocides to harvest souls for powering an army or resurrecting the long-dead people of another planet. And it uses this conflict to explore some similar themes of the fear of death, the dangers of nostalgia, and the genocidal tendencies of expansionism. That said, it explores those themes in ways that moved me less than FFIX does. I couldn't tell you if that's because Endwalker already set such a high benchmark for feeling emotions about FFXIV, or if FFIX actually is legitimately better at tugging at the heartstrings than Dawntrail is, or some combination of the two. I teared up once or twice, but there was never a scene that impacted me as much as the Black Mage cemetery scene in IX, or the Palaka's Stand scene in Endwalker. It made some solid thematic points, but the complexity of the society that got us there maybe made those points feel a little less applicable to something real.

God, though, as a FFIX fan, I still ate up their absolutely beautiful shots of Alexandria, reorchestrations of music from IX, references to characters and locations from IX, and thematic similarities. Wuk Lamat, as an adopted daughter of a king, and Krile, as an unwitting refugee from a far-off land, both serve as neat parallels to FFIX character Garnet. The final zone is a sort of sci-fi take on Memoria, the final dungeon from FFIX. I'll say, too, that while this section contrasted pretty heavily with what came before it in the expansion, they did still bring it all together pretty well. The second round of the war between the two powers had me literally on my feet cheering, and I appreciated that Wuk Lamat was doing here what she'd done in each previous area before it. The final boss fight, too, was a blast.

There's another neat convergence between this futuristic dystopia and the pre-industrial South American setting of the first half of the game that I wish the writers had made a little more explicit. The "golden city" that turns out to be the portal to Alexandria is an obvious reference to El Dorado, an alleged city of gold that Spanish conquistadors sought in their conquest of the Americas. I think it's kinda neat that here the golden city is instead indigenous folklore about what turns out to be an imperial power, turning that original context on its head. But another legend the conquistadors chased was the "fountain of youth," a spring they believed would grant eternal life to anyone who drank from it. The fountain of youth is never mentioned in Dawntrail, but Alexandria invades Tural because its people's souls serve as a literal fountain of youth for its people. It seems obvious to me that this was an inspiration for much of the plans for Dawntrail, but unless I missed something, it never came up throughout the game. I think a more explicit reference would have been nice, so I could have connected those dots earlier than like...two days after I finished the expansion.

All in all, Dawntrail is a strange expansion. I really enjoyed it and think it serves as proof that FFXIV is in good hands moving forward from Endwalker, but I still had major issues with it that caused some real friction with the game and should have been easily avoidable. It's much better than Stormblood, but flawed in similar ways that are maybe more obvious to me as an American than some of Stormblood's flaws may have been. I think it's probably better than Heavensward when I consider them outside of their release contexts - Heavensward was more emotional but had some weird pacing issues and questionable detours because it was still trying to figure out a formula that has since been perfected well before Dawntrail's release. But it's no Endwalker, and certainly no Shadowbringers. All in all, though, I think ffxiv players are eating pretty good, and with two new continents, a host of new characters, and a fantastic graphics update, it seems like we'll continue to eat pretty good for a long time to come.

[djuvlipen]

[T]he count of half a million Sinti and Roma murdered between 1939 and 1945 is too low to be tenable; for example in the Soviet Union many of the Romani dead were listed under non-specific labels such as “remainder to be liquidated,” “hangers-on,” “partisans,” [&c. . .] The final number of the dead Sinti and Roma may never be determined.  We do not know precisely how many were brought into the concentration camps; not every concentration camp produced statistical material . . . Sinti and Roma often. . . do not appear in the statistics.

Also, as the Auschwitz Memorial Book points out, Romanies were murdered unrecorded, sometimes by the hundreds, outside the camps, in the most numbers in the eastern territories, for which only scant records exist.  As research continues, for example that being undertaken for Czechoslovakia by Polansky (Strandberg, 1994) or for Serbia by Ackoviƒ (1995), the figures rise steadily higher.  In order to estimate the percentage of total losses, we would have to know, in addition to the number of dead, the number of Romanies throughout Europe before 1933, and this we will never be able to determine accurately, although both Colliers Encyclopedia and the Encyclopedia Americana list the pre-war European Romani population as 700,000.  A guess as good as any is that there were perhaps three million Romanies throughout the German-controlled territories at the period of their maximum extent, between one and one and a half a million of whom were murdered, i.e. between a third and a half of the population.  The world population at the same time was probably ca. five million.

Only a few thousand survived in the Nazi-controlled territories, and none was asked to testify in behalf of the Romani victims at the war crimes trials.  Reparations to Romanies as a people have yet to be made by the German government, which has only in recent years even admitted the racial motivation of the Nazi genocidal campaign against the Romani people.

The massive increase in neo-Nazi activity since the reunification of Germany and the collapse of Communism need not be elaborated upon here; it has been documented in a series of book-length treatments published by Helsinki Watch, and in a 50-page report by the Geneva-based U.N. Human Rights Commission.  And in poll after poll, the Romani population in Europe stands as the prime target of both sanctioned and unsanctioned discrimination.  In 1995 alone, in the Czech Republic alone, there were over 450 documented attacks against Romanies, several resulting in death; those were only the reported incidents.  There have been rapes and house-burnings in Romania and Bulgaria; letter bombs and booby-trap explosives have killed four Romanies and blinded and maimed many more.  At the October, 1995 OSCE meeting in Warsaw, one of our delegates was hit and robbed by four youths on the street shouting racial epithets; another was turned back at the Polish border simply because he was a Romani, and as a result was not able to attend the meeting.  The previous year, in the same city, a group of nine of us, all Romanies, were refused service in a restaurant. 

One of the issues at the 1995 conference in Warsaw was the official protest of Romania’s resolution to replace the words Rom and Romani with Úigan in all official documents.  The word, which was a synonym for “slave” during the five and a half centuries of Gypsy slavery in that country, is as offensive for Romanies as the word “n*gg*r” is for African Americans.  The Romanian government’s reason for this is that Romani sounds too much like Romanian, and outsiders might think that Romanians were Gypsies.  In November, 1995, Amnesty International released a 62-page document on human rights abuses in Romania which referred in part to “reports about torture and ill-treatment by police officials [and their] violent abuse of power . . . Massive arbitrary measures against the Romani minority and the lack of protection of this group against racist attacks have continuously posed a problem since March, 1990.”  The Romanian government has responded by declaring that “hereafter, slandering of the state and the nation will be prosecuted by imprisonment of up to five years” (Romnews, No. 46, November 19th, 1995, p. 1.).

-- Ian Hancock, The Roots of Antigypsyism: to the Holocaust and After.

(I censored the n-word)

[emininjago]

Kaiya Yoshida head-canons

this is cross posted from my Wattpad 🤍

ꕥ On nights when Kaiya is unable to fall asleep she either quietly hums or sings a lullaby to herself to help make her fall fast asleep. This was a habit she picked up at a very young age where one of the girls in the orphanage she grew up in would often sing lullabies at night to help both herself and those around her fall asleep, Kaiya was one of these girls that would fall asleep to the sounds of the lullaby. Now Kaiya sings the lullaby's she remembers from her childhood to help her sleep and quite often if Lloyd is nearby or sleeping in the same bed as her he falls fast asleep at hearing the sound of the calming lullaby. This is a secret kept between the two lovers, the ninjas team have heard Kaiya singing lullabies but they don't realise that Kaiya is the one singing they all secretly asssume it's a ghost haunting the monastery humming lullabies on certain nights a year. Kaiya doesn't plan to reveal it's her humming any time soon and finds it funny when they all have a in depth discussion about the singing ghost haunting the monastery.

ꕥ Kaiya has a secret tatoo on the centre of her back just above her bra line, she got the tattoo after the events of Hunted to commemorate the victory the ninjas had over Lord Garmadon and Harumi. Her tattoo is of a small Chinese dragon, celebrating a positive change. Only a fair few of her friends know about the tattoo, Nya knew because she dragged her to be her comfort whilst getting the tattoo, Cole and Jay have only heard rumours of Kaiya having a tattoo, Zane and Kai have no clue Kaiya even has a tattoo and Lloyd found out on accident. Lloyd found out during one of their ✨intimate moments✨and her blond boyfriend caught a glimpse of the tattoo on her back, let's just say Lloyd was quite shocked and muttered a loud what the fuck when he discovered the tattoo and completely ruined the mood instead they had a long talk about the tattoo and how cool it is. 

ꕥ Kaiya has a collection of tote bags that she uses on a bi-weekly basis, it's an unhealthy obsession the amount of tote bags she own and nothing the ninja can do will convince her to get rid of them. According to Kaiya they are her second most prized possession.

ꕥ She can curse like a sailor if she wanted too, she just choices not to because Kaiya heard a saying that cursing makes someone sounds less intelligent and she wants people to know that she's smart. 

ꕥ Kaiya has insomnia, this is called the worry insomnia cycle. Based of my own research the cycle of this insomnia is that because of worry/anxiety the person finds it difficult to sleep causing them to get worried about not sleeping, then adrenaline, noradrenaline and cortisol are released into the body, causing the fight or flight nervous system response to be turned on resulting in the brain becoming alert and hyperviligent meaning she can't sleep. When this happens she usually does quiet stuff around the monastery or goes down to the hanger bay and hang out there for a bit. It's easy to tell the next day if Kaiya's slept or not because usually the next day she is unusually hyper as she is relying on coffee to keep herself going, one of the ninjas (Lloyd) has to physically drag her to bed when she gets like this.

ꕥ Kaiya used to idolise Clutch Powers, she owned his book, had a poster of him and even had a celebrity crush on him. This stopped after she found out Clutch wasn't how he presented himself of television and when she started to find out more about him personally she began hating him and after what happened on the uncharted island she absolutely loathes him. Lloyd was incredibly pleased when she started to hate Clutch because he didn't have to pretend to like him infront of her anymore. 

ꕥ Lloyd taught Kaiya spinjitsu before she became Foxling, this was done to inhance her combat abilities. It took a lot of restraint for Kaiya not to use spinjitsu in the beginning stages of her being Foxling when no one knew her identity because if the brunette did use her spinjitsu ability it would feel like she was placing a big sign on her head which said 'look Lloyd it's me your girlfriend the one you taught spinjitsu I'm the person who's been helping you'.

ꕥ Kaiya adores flowers, her favourite are carnations because they remind her of the flowers that grew in Jamanakai village.

ꕥ She will flirt with Lloyd at any given moment, Lloyd is grabbing his weapon preparing himself for battle 'you look so sexy when you're getting ready for battle, you look so serious.', Lloyd is washing the dishes and Kaiya comes up behind him wrapping her arms around his back in a hug 'your ass looks very smackable', when Lloyd is walking out of the shower with a towel on 'damn babe, if you waited I would've joined you. I've been dying to see you naked', Lloyd is playing video games with the other ninja 'wish I was the controller, I would love for you to touch my buttons like that.' She literally does this because A she is the embodiment of horny and B she likes making Lloyd embarrassed and she thinks it's funny when he shouts her name. 

ꕥ Kaiya's nickname amoung the team is stubborn ox, she is the most stubbornest of them all that it rivals Kai's own stubborn nature. The brunette doesn't know that's her nickname and doesn't realise they're talking about her, Lloyd uses that nickname the most out of all of them when he wants to talk about Kaiya without directly mentioning her. 

ꕥ Kaiya is in a rivalry with Kai, nobody knows why this rivalry started it's just one day everything is fine and the next they are competing against eachother over the most ridiculous things. The ninjas have started making bets on who will win these competitions. But beneath all the rivalry they do care for each other, they consider each other family, they call it their quote on quote sibling rivalry. In relation to their rivalry, remember my oneshot 'friendly' banter  where Kaiya throws pebbles at Kai as a way to copy the tradition of the Geckles she still does this. Depending on how serious everything is she will find a pebble and throw it at Kai to show her agreement in a plan/discussion, the only reason she does this now is because it annoys him. 

ꕥ Kaiya used to be a quiet kid, never speaking out, following the flock and all that jazz. When Lloyd grew out of his little shit phase Kaiya grew into hers now Kaiya is known as the gremlin child. Lloyd and Kaiya pretty much are Yin and Yang, they are the complete opposite of each other in a sense but surprisingly work. 

ꕥ She has a thirst for knowledge always has, it has gone to a point where she will spend weeks maybe even months on end researching a single topic. Her office at the museum and her bedroom in the monastery has at one point become the literal definition of a crime scene investigation with red string attached to various pictures and articles. The ninjas had to urge Kaiya to halt her investigation and fix her room, they have threatened on numerous occasions to revoke her privilege to enter the library in the monastery if she doesn't sort out her room. One time Wu and Mistako themselves had to intervene because it got to a point where she wasn't sleeping and her room looked like a pig stall, they took away her access to the monastery library and any library in Ninjago for a two months as well as threaten to revoke her Lloyd privileges. Whenever Kaiya acts like this by accident it's usually when Lloyd is away on a long mission and when they say they will revoke her Lloyd privileges they mean that they will tell Lloyd what Kaiya has done and she'll has to face the wrath of Lloyd when he gets home, she usually calms after this. 

ꕥ Kaiya has one piercing that she got on impulse, it's a nose ring a really tiny one. She walked by a place advertising it with Cole when they both went out to pick up groceries for the monastery and the brunette practically dragged Cole into the store to get her nose pierced. Everyone was surprised when Kaiya and Cole got home to see Kaiya with a small nose stud with her face red, tear stains streaming down her face and Cole with a smirk because he tried to get her out of it and she wouldn't listen. Every time Kaiya complains about her piercing around Cole he laughs says tough shit and leaves the room. Speaking of Cole, he and Kaiya are close they bonded very easily and when one of them are stressed they dance together. Cole is basically Kaiya's gay bff because he's gay and nothing will change my mind. 

ꕥ Kaiya has neat and elegable handwriting but cannot draw for the life of her, once Lloyd suggested they do an art date as he's an amazing artist and wanted to see if Kaiya was any good aka had she improved her drawing abilities from when she was eleven the brunette only agreed because Lloyd looked incredibly happy when he proposed this idea to Kaiya. Cue him drawing a literal masterpiece of Kaiya looking incredible and looked like it belonged to be hung up in an art gallery and Kaiya who drew a pathetic stick figure of Lloyd with the paper creased because of all the mistakes she had to rub out. She never agreed to an art date again and Lloyd never suggested one again.

ꕥ Kaiya was homeschooled by Mistako from season 3 to before season 8, she did an apprenticeship at the museum let's say the apprenticeship lasted for three years and during Crystalised she's officially became a historian at the museum meaning she got her office after Crystalised.

ꕥ Lloyd, Cole and surprisingly Jay are the only ones who can handle Kaiya when she's particularly stubborn. Cole and Jay are both very patient people and Lloyd just nods his head in agreement making her think he's listening when in reality he is making a plan on how to make her less stubborn, he usually tries to make Kaiya believe that what he said was already her idea. 

ꕥ Kaiya uses a Japanese weapon called the Wakiashi, it is a medium size sword that was used by samurai in ancient Japanese history. This is Kaiya's most prized possession because the ninjas, P.I.X.E.L and Wu gave it to Kaiya when she revealed herself to be their newfound ally called Foxling, this to her proves that they believe in her and giving her an accent sword that had been touched by heroes of the past only signified her trust in her own abilities. 

ꕥ Similar to Lloyd Kaiya does have Oni features, she had tiny fangs and her stubbornness is from her oni heritage. However her features are more humane as she only has her oni heritage to worry about Lloyd has both oni and dragon making his features more noticeable. Kaiya does however has an oni form, think of a mix between Mystake's oni form and Lloyds there's hints of gold in her form but it mostly purple with sharp horns coming out of her head and her fangs become longer.

ꕥ Kaiya has a massive fear of Snakes/Serpentine, she will do everything in her power not to be standing beside or looking at one. This fear came because of her and Lloyd releasing the serpentine at the ripe age of eleven and she had to see all the horrors of them, the great devourer almost eating the bounty and herself alive, being kidnapped by the snakes controlled by Krux and Acronix it felt like she was being constantly strangled and Aspheera's rampage on the monastery and Ninjago. She hides behind Lloyd every time she so much as sees a serpentine, when Aspheera was at the monastery during the beginning of Crystalised the serpentine noticed Kaiya's uneasiness around her and slowly slithered behind her whilst she was talking to Lloyd and hissed into her ear 'I could devour you in one sssssssecond flat if I wanted too' this caused Kaiya to yelp, scream, jump, wrap her legs around Lloyds torso and her arms around Lloyds neck screaming incoherent yells of curse words all while basically grabbing hold of Lloyd for dear life. Lloyd told Kaiya to go back to the apartment and Aspheera got death glares from Lloyd the whole time she remained at the monastery. 

ꕥ Another way Kaiya is the exact opposite of Lloyd is that she is a complete slob. Her room is a mess and only she knows where everything is, there's filled notebooks of history and to do lists on her desk, her bookshelf is filled to the brim of biographies by famous Ninjago historians, history books, history of ninjago books and the occasional smut book hidden deep within the shelf that she at first bought for a laugh and now she's buys them when she's bored and want to spice up her life or sometimes to spice up her bed room life with Lloyd 😉. back on topic her closet is overrun with her own clothes, clothes she's actually borrowed from Nya recently Kaiya is surprisingly good at returning clothes she's taken from Nya and clothes she has stolen from Lloyd that she's forgotten about and think they are actually her clothes, the only tidy thing in her room is her bed because she makes it everyday the rest is like a pig stall. The only time the room is ever spotless is when Lloyd has nothing to do and Kaiya is at work so he decides to clean the room for her, he always takes his clothes back, hides the smut books and leaves a note that says 'babe, your room is a literal mess I cleaned it for you because when you will actually clean it? The answer is never. Please tell me when you take my clothes, I've been pestering the others for months about them and most of the clothes you've taken are brand new that I've only worn once so c'mon babe I need clothes more specifically shirts I don't want to live in my GI twenty four seven and for the love of the first spinjitsu master please stop buying those dumb fucking books yes I cursed you've annoyed me, I've hidden them because they are the literal spawn of the Overlord that deserves to be burnt by Kai's fire, electricited by Jays lightning, frozen by Zane's ice, Drowned by Nya's water, burnt again by my energy and buried at the bottom of ninjago by Coles earth. Find me when you read this note, I'll probably be in my room bleaching my eyes out after reading the monstrosity you call a novel. I question why I love you sometimes.' She never listens to him, she'll keep the room clean for a week but as revenge she'll buy more smut books and place them in places in her room she knows Lloyd will see them in. Also when you think of smut books think of all the books advertised on TikTok you know like Haunting Adeline, Icebreaker, The love hypothesis all those books, those are the type of books Kaiya owns. 

ꕥ Kaiya's love language is touch, she looks being held affectionately by Lloyd but also being the one to hold him to her it just feels nice to let both of their guard down and be hopelessly in love.

ꕥ She is a horror fanatic. Absolutely loves them, most of her movie nights with just Lloyd is typically a horror movie, she feeds of the adrenaline watching a horror movie gives you. Shockingly she doesn't often get nightmares from the horror movies, only if they are really bone chilling or hit a bit close to home then she will but other than that she loves a good horror. 

ꕥ Kaiya has anxiety and traits of ADHD, however anxiety is her main issue because even if she is stubborn she is can easily get into her own head. Which causes her insomnia to act up and you'll never guess what else her deep rooted trust issues often she's able to cope with her anxiety on her own but sometimes it can get out of hand that she had to talk to someone. 

ꕥ In serious situations she will either A deflect all concern and avoid discussing the issue or B instead of using humour as her coping mechanism she will flirt with Lloyd depending on how serious it is her flirting can either be not that noticeable or incredibly noticeable that Lloyd has to walk away from her. 

ꕥ She wears makeup, not a ton but she wears enough to both make it obvious she's wearing makeup but also gives a natural glow to her complexion. Usually it's brown eyeshadow, dark pink lipstick, mascara alongside concealer and foundation to hide her blemish's and eye bags. Only on special occasions will she wear eyeliner. 

ꕥ If Kaiya was a Taylor Swift song she would be Anti-hero, this song is literally the definition of Kaiya.

ꕥ Kaiya's favourite colours are blue and green. No particular reason she just loves these colours. 

ꕥ Her pain tolerance is low, unlike Lloyd who is basically the living embodiment of a Zombie when Kaiya gets beaten she feels it. After she became Foxling she understood the hardship of being a savour of ninjago, her body got constantly bruised and cut so she had to hide it or make up excuses when nobody knew her identity. 

ꕥ She is very sarcastic but unfortunately I the author am really bad at understanding sarcasm so I don't know how to write it, oops. 

ꕥ Kaiya has reading glasses that she rarely uses because she often misplaces them and can't find them when she needs them. Everyone outright refuse to buy Kaiya any more reading glasses as she's already on her eleventh pair in a span of five years, they all disappear and they're never seen again.

ꕥ Her birthday is the 19th of March

ꕥ Kaiya hates Harumi, at first she thought Harumi was nice and wanted to be gal pals with her. Now she loathes her and when Harumi became quote on quote good after Crystalised every time Kaiya was near her she would piss Harumi of by being the definition of a bitch. She may or may not have one time whispered to Harumi when no one noticed how she had sex with Lloyd the night prior and how Harumi must feel so jealous that she was the one getting to feel Lloyd up and Harumi wasn't, Harumi couldn't retaliate in any way as Lloyd was in the room and she couldn't met his gaze for the rest of the ninjas visit.

ꕥ Kaiya really is the definition of a gremlin child, a little shit. Lloyd and the ninjas have their hands full. 

[tryst-art-archive]

Oct. 2012: Chell Cosplay

As indicated in one of the written pieces from this month, I cosplayed as Chell circa Portal 2 for PAX East 2013. Most of the costume was me buying things to create the right look, but I created the boots myself from some go-go boots and a wreath hanger. These are progress shots related to that!

Here's the final boots so you know where we're going:

Here's her character model for reference:

The boots before any modification:

First, I made the open front with straps:

These are the steps as I remember them:

Create a cardstock template and fold it over the boot in the correct place so you can make sure you're cutting the shape you want at the right size.

Trace around the cardstock template using a pen or pencil you can wipe off the boot. I think I used an Expo marker.

Cut out the shape you traced.

Fold over the ragged edges of the shape and find four spots to cut symmetrical slits into, for the bands. This may take some finagling to be sure of.

Cut the slits, but make sure they're tight to the D rings used in the next step.

Take a D ring and slip it through each slit so the rounded edge protrudes and the flat edge is contained in the folded over flap.

Glue everything down with so much Krazy Glue.

Take some felt and cut strips of it to cover the ragged edges and glue on the interior of the boot. This is for your comfort.

Take some double-sided velcro and thread it through each set of D-rings.

Put your foot in the boot and adjust the velcro until its the right tightness. I recommend flipping the velcro so the soft side is toward your skin.

Leaving a little bit of extra for leeway, cut the velcros to size. They should basically form a closed loop.

While these boots had a zipper, after I modified them, I generally got out of them by undoing the velcro and sliding out. Either method was possible, but I found that easier and less likely to damage the D-ring situation.

I also generally adjusted the Velcro strips over the course of the day when wearing these. This was less about loosening and tightening and more about varying the feel of the straps against my leg so that they weren't bothering me over time.

The next steps were getting the right markings on the boots and trying to disguise the heel.

I decided to not go for the hoof style shoe, given I'd be walking around in these for a long time, so I needed the support of the stiletto but didn't want it to draw the eye.

I recognize that "walk for a long time in a stiletto go-go boot" probably sounds absurd, so this is where I remind you that I'd been wearing exclusively high heeled shoes for two solid years, such that flat shoes were painful for me. Wearing something like this for a long time was actually totally feasible. I did, however, get little gel inserts for the ball of the foot/toe area and stick those in there, as I found that the way the front platform was shaped caused me to roll otherwise.

Steps for the painting:

Stuff the boot full of stiff paper or, ideally, a boot hanger so that it holds the shape it will be in while worn.

Based on reference images, sketch out the shape of each black area of Chell's boots onto cardstock.

Apply the cardstock to the boots and, using a pen or pencil you can wipe off easily, trace the shape of the cardstock onto the boot. Use the same piece for each boot so they match.

Take a generous amount of painter's tape and apply it around the edges of each shape that you need to paint. Make sure to give yourself an inch or more of space between the edge of the shape and where the tape ends.

I used some kind of acrylic paint for this, but I'd recommend researching a better option if you're working with pleather or vinyl like I was. Similarly, I'd recommend gently roughing up the surface of the shoe in the area that you're painting to try to encourage the paint to stick better, but maybe research if that makes sense, too.

Paint all of the shapes black and paint the heel and platform black, too. The heel should blend into the sole/black shapes as much as possible. Be generous with the paint.

Let the paint dry. You may need multiple coats.

Remove the painter's tape and use a white paint equivalent to the black paint to cover up any areas where the black paint bled past the tape or spots where the shapes of the designs look off. This may also take multiple coats.

Let dry.

The final step was adding the struts to the back of the boots!

Acquire an over-the-door wreath hanger or two. I used 1 that had hooks for both sides of the door. You want the metal of the hanger to have some give, such that you could bend it by hand but it isn't going to lose shape at a slightly resistance.

Using a jeweler's saw, cut the wreath hanger in half so that you have two separate hooks.

Put on the boots and use your hands to adjust the shape of one of the hanger halves so that it conforms to your calf and then juts out from the boot in a smooth curve. Use reference of Chell's boots to get the right look.

Repeat that step for the other boot and hanger half.

Find paper or a boot hanger to stuff the boots with so that they hold their shape without you having to wear them.

Use a generous amount of crazy glue to attach each hanger half to each boot in the shape you made. For the hanger I had, I aligned the top edge (where I'd cut it) along the top of the boot and had the hanger follow the back seam of the boot.

Allow the glue to dry.

Put the boots on and walk around in them a bit to test the struts. If you find gaps forming between the boot and hanger, take the boots off and apply more glue. If you find the bottom of the struts are scraping the floor or getting caught on things, use your hands to adjust the curve of the struts so they have less direct contact while still retaining a visual of contact.

If you lined the top of the strut up with the top of the boot, you'll want to take some scrap fabric from the piece of boot you cut out previously, cut off a couple of inches of the curved bottom, and fold it over the top of the boot where the strut is glued on. Glue this down and let dry. (Your legs will thank you.)

Acquire some pliable black crafting foam sheets and thick-ish black felt.

Cut out rectangles of craft foam and fold it over the bottom tip of each strut, gluing each piece on, until you've built up a softened nub. This is to be nice to floors.

Cut a piece of felt to the width of the bottom of the foam pads where they touch the floor and glue this on as well. This is to reduce catching.

Put the boots on and walk around in them to test them one more time.

Use your hands to adjust the curve of the struts if you find yourself catching, stepping on the struts, or otherwise having difficulties with the struts. Also use this time to do a final stress test on the D-rings and velcro straps. Use scrap fabric from cutting the boots before to strengthen the bind between the D-rings and the boots if you find them slipping out of place.

All done~

For the Portal Gun, I just bought a thing, but here's some goof photos:

While buying that instead of making it is less impressive, I've found it to be a big hit with kiddos both at the con and when handing out Halloween candy. Since I bought it, it's not all that delicate, which means I could hand it off to the kids to play with for a bit. I particularly remember that when nerdy families would want to snap a pic of my cosplay, they'd often have their kid in the photo with me, and I'd give the Portal Gun to the kid to hold. They loved it.

Unfortunately I don't actually seem to have pics of the complete cosplay that shows all the bits of it. There's a non-zero possibility I find some in future archive folder, tho.

As far as longevity for my heavily glued monstrosity? I do still have the boots to this day, meaning they outlasted literally every other part of the costume except the Portal Gun (which hangs out with my video game figures in my living room). Every other piece eventually got destroyed (mostly by me sweating or gaining weight).

That said, they did generally need repairs after each wear. Most commonly, the paint would flake off, and I'd need to fill in gaps.

The other common failing was the D-rings which slipped out very frequently until I increased the leeway on the velcro straps and used scrap fabric to make the connection between the rings and the boots stronger.

Similarly, the felt bits on the interior had a tendency to rub off, which I honestly never fully solved. I'd generally just wind up stuffing things around the edges of the open front to make it not chafe, which sometimes meant just stuffing the felt back into place. I did find that adding wider felt strips helped a bit, possibly because the placement didn't have to be as precise.

Interestingly, the struts literally never caused a problem. They just worked.

One fun story: when I first wore this cosplay to PAX, I went with the jumpsuit on for convenience, and the looks I got on the T were priceless~ I think some commuters thought I was literally fresh out of prison, haha.

[androidcharles]

The One Where Ellie and Henry Find Out

A small memory fic while I sort out my ideas. This is a month after CtM happened. Charles hasn't been honest about what he is. And Henry and Ellie are about to find out whether he likes it or not.

TW for mentions of death and of course, robo gore as well

Charles heard a small beeping outside of his head as he flinched, reaching over and slamming down on the alarm clock. He groaned, looking at it carefully before letting out a small gasp. It was six thirty.

“Oh no…” Charles said softly as he suddenly stood up. Every process in his mind was telling him not to as he flinched, feeling a jolt of electricity go through him. After he finally calmed down, he let out a small sigh as he cried out, suddenly realizing he had no time to fool around. He shot up, running around his room, struggling to get dressed as he rushed into the bathroom, grabbing a specially made tooth brush and brushing his teeth quickly before he ran out. He quickly ran a comb through his messy hair as he tied it into a ponytail, putting on his shoes as he rushed out the door, slipping his bomber jacket on as he rushed down the hall.

“Good morning Charles, oh!” A couple of scientists jumped back as Charles rushed past them.

“No time to chat, I’m late!!” Charles shouted. One of them let out a small sigh as he smiled at the other.

“Not much has changed…”

“Quenton’s gonna have an earful for him when he gets there.”

Charles finally burst out of the science and research building, practically running at top speed across the base as he headed to the helicopter hanger.

“I’M LATE, I’M LATE I’M LATE I’M LAAAAAATTTEE!!” Charles shouted as he opened the door to the office, seeing Quenton standing at the door with a hard look on his face.

“You sure are Calvin…” Quenton said, rolling up a magazine and bopping on him on the head with it.

“Seriously!?” Charles shouted as Quenton let out a sigh.

“Charlie, I know that you’re still very young… by your standards…” Quenton said, “But didn’t Galeforce buy that alarm clock for you so you would actually get up on time for once?! You can’t always rely on your internal clock you know!”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I guess I just got all caught up in my dream simulation!” Charles said.

“What were you dreaming about that was so important anyway?” Quenton muttered, “C’mon, the new recruits aren’t gonna wait forever. You have to train them, remember?”

“AH! Right, right…” Charles said as he followed Quenton, feeling an itch at his hard drive. What was he dreaming about? A windmill maybe? Either way, he got started with the day, training the new recruits in flying techniques and such. After about seven hours of this, Charles finally stepped into the locker room, letting out a small sigh as he leaned against the lockers.

“Done for today… done forever…” Charles said.

“Hard time, huh?” Liam said through his scarf, handing Charles a can of cola. Charles didn’t have the heart to tell him he couldn’t drink it, so he took it, smiling gratefully.

“I guess you could say that,” Charles said, “They’re a bit of a handful, but you always seem to handle the afternoon classes so well.”

“That’s because they know better than to cross me!” Liam said, adjusting his sunglasses.

“Well, good luck. I’m off for the day,” Charles said, “Unless they call me back here for another mission.”

“Have a nice evening,” Liam said, waving to Charles as he left the locker room, stepping out into the fresh air. He felt the soft breeze on his face, smiling to himself as he walked through the base. The late September air felt so clear and crisp and with the leaves changing colors all across the base, it was almost like a fairy tale.

“Charles!!” he heard someone shout. He flinched as he saw Ellie and Henry standing behind him, all smiles as Charles practically jumped for joy, barreling towards them and hugging them tight.

“Wow, Charles, you really missed us? You just saw us yesterday!” Ellie said.

“Yeah, but that’s a long time you know!” Charles shouted, “You have no idea!” Henry giggled as he returned the hug, smiling at him. Charles had to admit, Henry had become a lot more open since he had met him. When he first started becoming friends with him, he had run away from Charles’ hugs. Meanwhile, Ellie seemed to really enjoy them a lot, full force accepting the hug when she first met him.

“Man, you’re super warm. How do you do that?” Ellie asked.

“Uh, good genes, I guess. Uh, hey, I have this cola here if one of you guys wants it,” Charles said.

“Still on that diet, huh?” Ellie said, taking the cola from his hands as Henry whined a bit.

“Rock, paper, scissors Henry!” Ellie said, balling her hand into a fist. Henry gritted his teeth, a bit more determined than usual as he felt someone tap him on the shoulder. He turned to see Rupert, smiling at him.

“Finally off for the day?” Rupert asked.

“Yeah, how about you?” Charles asked.

“I’m free for lunch, but I’ve still got a few hours to go. It’s such a drag I swear. Even when I’m not a new recruit, I’ve still got so much work to do, you know? Negotiating with the Wall is such hard work,” Rupert said, “We’ve been trying to get some big players from them, but they’re insisting on keeping them. It’s so unfair…”

“Well, what do you expect?” Ellie said, “The place is full of hardasses. But after everything that happened when me and Henry escaped…”

“Geez, I remember. You know, in the negotiations, they were going on about how they really wanted you guys,” Rupert said, “It’s so stupid, in all honesty… well… if I had to choose… Henry maybe.”

Henry narrowed his eyes at Rupert before raising a middle finger up at him, which caused him to growl a little.

“Hey, hey, now guys…” Charles said, “If we’re all free for lunch, why don’t we go somewhere to eat, huh?”

“Where should we go?” Ellie said, “Gouda’s?”

“Oh definitely!” Charles said.

“Sounds good. If Dave’s awake, we should invite him too,” Rupert said, “How does that sound?” Once the plans were confirmed, the four of them headed out of the base, letting General Galeforce know they’d have Rupert back in about an hour or so.

- - - - -

The four of them had met up with Dave at the restaurant and were seated at their usual booth as they started to talk amongst themselves. Charles glanced at the four of them as Rupert pulled out his phone and began to type on it.

TheFinalBastion101: Say, have you told them yet?

xXBold_Action_ManXx: About what?

TheFinalBastion101: You know what. You got permission from the general. Why don’t you tell them already?

xXBold_Action_ManXx: Ah, well They haven’t really asked so

TheFinalBastion101: You’re waiting for them to ask? Isn’t that kind of dumb?

xXBold_Action_ManXx: I know it’s silly but I’m not used to being able to tell people you know! Also I’m afraid of how they’ll react you know

TheFinalBastion101: I’m pretty sure they won’t treat you any differently than when they didn’t know. Look, you know I’m not fond of Henry and Ellie is I’m kind of on the fence about her but They’re pretty sharp despite how they are. They’re going to find out eventually and when they do find out from someone who isn’t you, how do you think they’ll react?

Charles let out a small sigh as Ellie ordered for the table. He knew he would have to tell them he was an android sooner or later. Ellie may be slow in other aspects, but she wasn’t slow when it came to noticing little details. And Henry obviously knew something was up, because he would often look at Charles a little too hopefully from time to time.

“So, what are your guys plans for this weekend?” Ellie said.

“I still have to teach classes on the weekends, so I’ll be pretty busy,” Charles said.

NOTHING MUCH, Henry said, JUST GONNA RELAX AS MUCH AS I CAN.

“I have more negotiations to go through, but they don’t want to waste the money if it’s gonna be difficult. We might as well just let the Wall have those Toppats and worry about the rest later…” Rupert said.

“Ah, I have Sunday off. If you guys aren’t busy after maybe… one thirty, I could hang out,” Dave said, trying to feel included, “I mean-!”

“It’s no trouble Dave, seriously,” Rupert said, “I might be able to escape for long enough to play around a little.”

I WON’T BE BUSY. UNLESS WE GET ANOTHER CASE, Henry said.

“We’ve been working a lot of government cases, right? It’s no trouble at all though, because it means we get to see our favorite boy Charlie here! Huh, Charlie!?” Eliie said, putting her arm around his shoulder.

“Mm hm!” Charles said.

“What’s wrong? You seem kind of distant…” Ellie said, “Are you gonna tell us something important?”

“Is something wrong Charles?” Dave asked. Charles chuckled as he waved his hands at them as Rupert rolled his eyes.

TheFinalBastion101: You should tell them.

xXBold_Action_ManXx: Ah but I’ll tell them tonight. If we’re not too busy.

Rupert narrowed his eyes at him, letting out a low growl.

“Oh, I see what’s going on… you two are dating aren’t you?!” Ellie shouted, pointing at Rupert and Charles.

“Ah! Ah no, I haven’t, I mean I shouldn’t I mean-!” Rupert blushed a deep red as he covered his mouth, whimpering a bit as Charles chuckled a little. Their teasing was interrupted by the food arriving. They switched topics after a bit of eating, trying to keep the mood lighthearted when suddenly Charles got a ping on his messenger.

H_Galeforce: Hey, Charlie, sorry to interrupt you while you’re in the middle of lunch, but a big emergency just came up. I know it’s short notice, but I wouldn’t be bothering you if it wasn’t important. I promise I’ll cover your guy’s bill if you come right away. And make sure you bring Stickmin and Rose as well. Get over here as soon as you can please.

“Oh dear…” Charles muttered, “We might need the to go boxes a bit early…”

“Huh, seriously?” Ellie said.

“Sorry, it can’t be helped. The general wants us to come back to base right away. It’s an emergency, he said,” Charles said.

“Ah, I see…” Ellie said as Rupert immediately called the waiter over. Henry stood up and started to make his way back to the front of the restaurant as they put away their food and told Dave to have a good day.

- - - - -

Charles gripped the control stick of the helicopter, thoroughly in his element. He let out a small sigh as every single processor in his head fired off at once. The situation was pretty dangerous. Apparently, a hostage situation had escalated out of control pretty badly. Team Triple Threat was tasked to getting out the hostages safely and hopefully capturing the person responsible as well.

There were bombs, of course, so they had to approach the situation carefully. He hovered the helicopter a reasonable distance, spotting two people talking to each other outside. Considering their looks and the weapons, they couldn’t possibly be police officers.

“There’s two people outside of the building right now, you two. I have a feeling one of them will have some information for us. Do you almost have everyone out?” Charles asked.

“Almost. There’s a little girl who isn’t really cooperating,” Ellie said, “She’s really scared.”

“Well, ask her mom or dad to help you,” Charles said.

“Um… her mother… she was…” Charles felt a horrible pit in his stomach as he gulped, mostly out of habit.

“Oh… oh I see…” Charles said softly, “Hm?” The two people who were talking were now pointing at Charles. Oh no…

“Guys, you really wanna hurry up, I’ve been spotted,” Charles said.

“Don’t worry, Henry has a plan for the little girl. I’ll try to get out as soon as I can. I think I see the main dude right now…” Ellie said, “Do you think you can get out of there safely and inconspicuously?” Charles saw one of the men rush into the building.

“Not anymore…” Charles whispered, “Don’t worry about me, Ellie and Henry. Just find a way out and hopefully things will turn out alright.”

I WILL WORRY ABOUT YOU, Henry tapped in morse code.

“I said don’t worry. If you do, than you’ll lose focus. Just concentrate on the mission, OK?” Charles said, “I’ll see if I can’t find a way to fly off without being hit.”

“You don’t think they have anything that can take you down, do you?” Ellie asked.

“I sure hope not,” Charles muttered as he started to fly off a little bit. He observed around the building, noticing the small crowd of people a good ways away from it. He saw Henry and a small girl, who had been crying her eyes out very recently. Henry patted her head as he beckoned for her to follow him towards the group.

“But, my momma!!” the girl cried out as Henry shook his head.

“I wanna go back… I have to say good-bye…” she said softly.

“You will… in… due time…” Henry forced himself to say. He didn’t really like speaking to strangers, but he had to provide some form of comfort (plus she didn’t look old enough to know sign language yet).

“Henry, the situation might have escalated out of control. I’m gonna try to get out as soon as I can, but there’s a lot of shouting and shit. If you can get in here and help me, than I would really appreciate it!” Ellie said.

“Stay here. Please,” Henry said. The girl nodded her head as she ran towards the group, Henry dashing as fast as he could towards the building. He didn’t care about being noticed anymore, he just wanted to save Ellie as quickly as he could.

“Henry, I’m gonna try to get out of sight. Let me know when-” Suddenly the feed cut off as he heard an explosion outside.

“Charles?” Ellie whispered, “Charles?!” Henry gulped but he shook his head.

It has to be this way. He’ll be fine… he has to be fine. He rushed down the hallway as he entered the main room where the hostages were being kept, already seeing three burly looking guys shouting at each other.

“Andrew said he took down the government chopper, but where there’s one government agent, there’s a dozen more in the brush! We gotta find them!” one shouted.

“Calm down. They could have just aborted mission and gotten the hostages to another location. We’ll find them and we’ll smash their brains in. And we take a few civilians out if we have to, just to show them who’s boss!” another said.

Disgusting, Henry thought, What are my options universe?

A grenade. It would work in theory. But Henry usually had pretty bad luck with grenades. Especially when said grenade was actually a smoke bomb.

Smoke ‘em out! Could have sworn that was a grenade...

It doesn’t work that way unfortunately.

A lightsaber. That could intimidate them enough to back off, but in the end, he would end up slicing his own hand off.

So who’s the father?

Shut up, shut up, shut up!

A chain. That could work to say the least. Henry swung the chain around as he whipped the chain around, striking the first person he saw. The other two charged him as he dodged quickly, running around before strapping the chain to a nearby shelf, tangling the brutes in the chains before they finally collapsed in a heap.

How should I keep them here I wonder?

A rope, maybe? Henry would tie the rope together only for the crooks to wriggle free from it.

That’s KNOT right!

KNOT funny…

Maybe some handcuffs? He quickly pulled out enough pairs for each of them. Feeling satisfied, he walked off only to find himself handcuffed to one of them.

Seriously, how did you do that?

I WISH I KNEW!!

Henry groaned as he finally pulled out a stapler and stapled the crooks shirts to the wall. All three of them were extremely confused, just as confused as Henry that it worked.

“HENRY!!” He flinched as he rocketed out of the room and saw Ellie being held at gunpoint by one of the brutes.

“Hello there… you must have been sent by the government. That pilot of yours probably didn’t make it out of the chopper in time. And as for your friend here… I’ll splatter her brains out if it’s the last thing I do!”

OPTIONS UNIVERSE, OPTIONS!!!

Without thinking, he grabbed a grappling hook and fired it straight at the brute, which caused him to flinch and drop his gun. Luckily, the pain from Henry misfiring distracted him long enough for Ellie to hook her arm under his and flip him over.

“GAH!” he cried out, trying to find another weapon before he was swiftly kicked in the head by Ellie.

“Geez, that was close. Where are the others?”

STAPLED TO THE WALL. IN THE STORAGE ROOM DOWN THERE, Henry signed, pointing down the hall.

“Seriously? Well, let’s give the all clear so the officers can come in and make these arrests.” Ellie switched frequencies as Henry ran off to find Charles.

“Attention all officers, everything is clear. Hostages are rescued and the perps have been apprehended. We have three in the storage room in the backrooms and two who are unconscious right now in the main room,” Ellie said as she followed Henry out.

She followed him out to the parking lot, where she saw the wreckage of the helicopter. It was currently in flames, the smell of burning gasoline in the air as she walked over to it.

“Charles?” she said softly as Henry shook a bit, looking straight at her with a bit of worry in his eyes.

“I’m… I’m pretty sure he’s fine! Maybe…” Ellie said, but she was a bit worried herself. She didn’t want to think about how badly he was injured. Or worse.

“G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-guys?” they heard someone say behind them. They turned to see Charles limping towards them. But something was way off about him. There was a huge gash in his chest where he had been impaled in the stomach, his arm was coming off of his shoulder, his fingers were sticking out everywhere, his leg was barely attached to his body, and parts of his face seemed to be ripped a bit.

Except there was no blood. Only mechanical sparks and wires as Charles limped towards them.

“GuuuuUuuuUuuyyyys?” Charles said, his eyes blinking different colors as he shook, “Is that you?”

“Ch… Charles?” Ellie said, “What the heck are you?”

“Huh? What, oh this? This this this this this this this is nothing…” Charles suddenly fell flat on his face as Ellie jumped. His arm was barely hanging on to a couple of colored wires and his inseams started to emit some steam as Henry’s eyes widened.

“Rose? Stickmin? What’s going on out there?” they heard Rupert asked over the radio.

“Uh, hey, Rupert, I think Charles needs a doctor… or a technician. Whatever works best for… robots…” Ellie said.

“Wait, what happened?!” Rupert shouted.

“You’ll have to come out to the parking lot and see. Even I can’t understand what’s going on. Right Henry?” Ellie asked. Henry nodded his head as he stared at Charles’ body, mangled up from the helicopter crash.

Just what was Charles Calvin?

- - - - -

Ellie paced the floor of one of the break rooms in the science and research facility while Henry sat on the couch, pressing his hands together nervously as he tried to remain calm. They were finally back at the base. After the mission briefing they gave General Galeforce, they had been allowed to come in here to see about Charles’ condition.

There had been some arguing about whether or not it was necessary, but General Galeforce said that if Ellie or Henry had been in the same condition, he’d want to be there, too. He seemed a bit disappointed that things had turned out the way they did.

“What is Charles? Those sparks, the wires, his face… it was all mechanical! Is he like a top secret government experiment!? Are you gonna kill us now?!” Ellie had shouted.

“No, there won’t be any unnecessary deaths,” General Galeforce had said, “Especially since you guys had clearance to know about it anyway.”

“What?”

“Hm?”

General Galeforce had let out a small sigh as he glanced at Henry and Ellie.

“That’s something that he’s going to have to discuss with you. It’s time he was honest, no matter how afraid he is…” General Galeforce had said, “Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to get this paperwork done please.”

So here they were, waiting in the break room after a few minutes of arguing. Ellie opted to sit on the couch with Henry as he sighed, leaning his head against Ellie’s.

“So… that’s just how it is,” Ellie muttered, “I wonder what Charles really is than. General Galeforce isn’t gonna say anything to us.”

“Do you… do you really want to know?” Henry asked.

“Do you know what he is?” Ellie asked. Henry shook his head. He had vague memories of other timelines sure… where Charles had revealed the truth. But even than, he couldn’t quite understand it.

ITS BETTER IF YOU HEAR IT FROM CHARLES, Henry said, EVEN IF I KNEW, I DON’T THINK I CAN EVEN BEGIN TO UNDERSTAND IT.

“Ms. Rose? Mr. Stickmin?” one of the scientists opened the door, looking to the two as they stood up straight.

“No need to be so formal. Anyway, Charles will be fine. Some rest, a bit of repairs here and there, and he’ll be fine tomorrow morning,” the scientist said.

THANK YOU, Henry signed.

“Yes, thank you so much for letting us know what’s going on. Um, by the way!” Ellie shouted. The scientist stopped at the door and turned towards Ellie. She squinted at the scientist's name tag before continuing.

“Dr…. Abigail. I know this is a strange question, but, what the heck is Charles?”

“Oh, that’s not a strange question at all. Hm, let’s see…” Dr. Abigail smiled fondly at them before turning back towards the door.

“That’s something I’m afraid Mr. Calvin will have to discuss that with you on his own,” Dr. Abigail said as she headed out the door, “Come back tomorrow morning around say seven or eight AM. He’ll be just as chipper as ever. Especially after seeing you two.”

“Isn’t there a way we can see him now though…?” Ellie said softly as Henry placed his hand on her shoulder.

“Guess there’s nothing for it. We’ll see ya tomorrow Charlie…” Ellie said softly as they walked out of the break room.

The next morning, Ellie and Henry approached the science and research building, both carrying presents and flowers as they walked towards the elevator. They were told by a scientist in the building that Charles was currently in his room on the third floor of the building.

“So he lives here? No wonder he’s late all the time…” Ellie muttered as they went up the elevator.

Meanwhile, Charles was sitting in his room, bending his fingers and sighed a little. He had his knees up to his head as he pulled the blanket over him, trying to think about what he was going to say to Ellie and Henry. He gazed outside the window, seeing the early morning light pooling into his room. His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door.

“Mr. Calvin. Your friends are here to see you!” someone on the other side said.

“Uh… let them in!” Charles said. Ellie opened the door with a flourish as she looked at Charles.

“Hey Charlie!” Ellie said, “How are ya?”

ARE YOU “um…” PUT BACK TOGETHER ALRIGHT? Henry signed as Charles chuckled.

“As put together as I can be. Thank you,” Charles said.

“We brought you presents,” Ellie said, “I figured you would like a pick me up after all the surgery, you know.”

“Ah, you guys didn’t have to,” Charles said.

“We wanted to. We insist,” Ellie said, “So why don’t you tell us what just happened back there? I mean, I know your helicopter crashed, but your body…” Charles was afraid of this. He let out a small sigh as he looked out the window, his head going side to side as he turned it over in his head.

“OK, but you have to promise that no matter what… I’m still Charles… right?” He looked at them with his soothing green eyes as Ellie smiled gently and Henry placed his hand over Charles’, nodding his head. He took a deep breath before finally spitting it out.

“I’m an android!”

Ellie and Henry sat in stunned silence as Charles shook a bit, crossing his arms over his chest as he did.

“I’ve… I’ve been an android for… as long as I can remember, actually,” Charles said, “One day I woke up in the science building here and before I knew it I was living here with my dad.”

“There’s a lot of holes in that sentence. First of all, as long as you can remember? How long is that? And were you built by the government? Or someone else?” Ellie asked.

“I wasn’t built by the government. Well, I kinda was. I was part of a secret project that developed security droids to help protect people who could afford them. But it was shuttered and forcibly shut down once word got out that they would sell to criminal groups as well,” Charles said, “I was a… scrapped defective android that was found on site and repaired by one of the scientists here. He and Galeforce… well they basically became my adoptive fathers.”

“How come we haven’t met your dad?” Ellie asked.

“Oh, because… he’s dead. He actually died a while back, after my second birthday,” Charles said, “There were some moles and… I… I don’t like to talk about it.”

YOUR SECOND BIRTHDAY? HOW OLD ARE YOU NOW? Henry said, a sort of mischievous smile on his face.

“I don’t think you’re supposed to ask that question yet considering the situation,” Ellie said, slapping Henry on the back of the head, “Sorry. I’m pretty sure your dad was a wonderful man.”

“Mhm! I was actually named after his brother. He died in a government raid of the Toppat manor. Apparently, he got close to one of the members so he could get information about them,” Charles said.

“Aw, that’s sweet,” Ellie said, “So, that’s it. You’re just an android.”

“Yeah… like I said, for as long as I can remember,” Charles said, “I don’t really have any special features. I enlisted so I could help others and save people. I started to naturally gravitate towards flying because dad- er, General Galeforce noticed how much I loved building models of planes and stuff. See?” Charles pointed out the shelves with tons and tons of models all lined up in a row.

“Ah, I see,” Ellie said, “And well… can I ask one more thing?” Charles tipped his head to the side as he narrowed his eyes at them.

“If it’s about my age than… I’m seven years old OK?! But that’s like in android years! I’m practically an adult compared to other humans my age!” Charles shouted.

“OK, OK, I get it, but I was going to ask why you didn’t tell us this before. Was it supposed to be a secret?” Ellie asked.

YEAH, WAS IT? Henry signed at him. Charles placed his chin between his knees as he nodded his head, than shook it, than nodded it again.

“Yes, but no?” Ellie asked.

I’M CONFUSED…

“I mean, I’m supposed to keep it secret because if a whole lot of people knew that the government employed an android… a lot of ethics concerns would rise up. Very few people know that I’m actually an android. I was given permission to tell you guys and even Dave, but…” Charles glanced to the side, letting out a small sigh.

“But what?” Ellie asked.

“When I started to think about how differently everyone treats me because I’m an android, I start to get a little scared,” Charles said, “I didn’t want to say anything because I was afraid that if you guys knew that I was an android… you wouldn’t treat me the same way as you treated me before.”

“Remember what you made us promise earlier?” Ellie asked, “That no matter what that you’re still Charles? Well that’s still true. Doesn’t matter what you are or anything.”

IT DOESN’T MATTER IF YOU’RE AN ANDROID, AN ALIEN, OR A FOUR ARMED MONSTER, YOU’LL ALWAYS BE CHARLES TO US, NO MATTER WHAT, Henry said, smiling at him kindly, AND WE’LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU NO MATTER WHAT. Charles eyes started to display tear drops as he sniffled, smiling at them.

“Thank you,” Charles said, “Thank you so much, you two. I love you guys, too.” He pulled them into a great big hug, which both of them accepted gratefully.

Charles smiled as he looked the window again, seeing the sun shining through his window and feeling a sense of ease over himself.

I guess I had nothing to worry about...

[c-atm]

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#5

So...

Thanks to @screwpinecaprice for making art of another one my other favorite shipping based of my SC6 character select .

Love your work please follow them...the first two are their drawing..the other is me having fun..

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38 notes - Posted January 11, 2022

#4

Dreadlocs and Deep love.

Thanks to the always amazing@screwpinecaprice for maki g this awesome domestic image of Danny(Daniel) and Tricia (Patricia) from my AU (fighting flirty)

Love is learning to retwist and care for Locs in secret just in case your partner Loctitian ain't available.

40 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

#3

I ride for this couple too thanks @screwpinecaprice

50 notes - Posted November 16, 2022

#2

Sooo..I made some Connie's using an Ai generator (I can't draw OR..ART) abs made theses

First in celebration of Bayonetta 3 Have some umbra witch Connie Concepts

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53 notes - Posted September 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Care

"Steven?" Connie called as she looked at Steven, lying in their bed, pale face, dried and cracked-lipped. A look of dazed fatigue on his feverish red-cheeked face."Bisky? You ok?" The researcher asked, putting her coat on the hanger before walking up to him.

"Uhh?" Steven groaned, "I think I got something from my trip." He mumbled.

"That's a given," Connie stated, walking over to him and checking his head. "You're burning up." She said, feeling his forehead. "Do you need another blanket?" She asked, moving to get one.

"No, just... stay here." Steven moaned, falling back into the pillow.

"Well, maybe you should take some fluids," Connie said, getting up and going to the bathroom.

"OH! NO!." Steven groaned, "No more drinks!"

Connie arched her eyebrow at the sudden energetic protest.

"Quite the apprehension there, Mister."

"I drank a lot at the last meeting...been feeling off...soon after."

Connie considered, "Drank what?"

"...Something one of the delegates brought from their home planet, it was tasty and reminded me of mango and cream... Said it was a very fermented stout...at least that's what it translated to."

"Oh-ho, no!" Connie giggled as she crawled up next to him, putting his head on her lap.

"Diamond essence didn't wo~oork." Steven complained in Connie's thighs as she brushed his hair with her left hand, "Happy you're wearing shorts..." He muttered as he snuggled into his Heartberry warm flesh.

"Oh, really, and why is that?" Connie teased lovingly.

"I like the feel of your skin on mine, so warm." 

She smiled at Steven's honest yet weak tone as he looped his large limb around Connie's hip line.

"Why didn't the essence work? I thought it was a heal-all?" He muttered.

"Sure, wounds, bruises, disembodied limbs, burned flesh, viruses can even bring back the dead... Given the formula."

"Then why didn't it work on me?"

"Cause you...Mister galactic ambassador of Era 3; aren't sick...You're hung over."

"Hung over, like when you wake up from a night of drinking alcohol?" Steven asked, his fever slowly dropping as he started to feel acquainted with Connie's scent.

"same almost exactly," Connie confirmed,

"But I didn't drink any alcohol?"

"You got drunk on a fermented alien beverage. Good chance it's an equivalent to alcohol."

"You think?" Steven mumbled, getting a bit exhausted.

"Stout...a synonym for beer." 

"Arrgh." He bashfully groaned," I did?"

"You did." 

"It didn't taste like beer?! It was so fruity."

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55 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[anamericangirl]

Back alley abortions were performed by medical professionals. They were called back alley abortions because the client seeking the abortion would enter through the back door, which was usually facing an alleyway, instead of the front.

That’s quite literally not true. Back alley abortions referred to unsafe abortions for women that were done in an environment lacking proper medical standards. More often times than not, these were performed by women themselves and unprofessionals without a license.

I don't know where you're getting your information but you're incorrect.

Mary Calderon, who was the former director of Planned Parenthood, wrote an article in 1960 that was published in the American Journal of Public Health and in it she estimated that around 90% of illegal abortions were performed by licensed physicians and that with the improvements in medical technology, abortion, whether done legally or illegally, is not dangerous. 

Abortion is no longer a dangerous procedure. This applies not just to therapeutic abortions as performed in hospitals but also to so-called illegal abortions as done by physicians. In 1957 there were only 260 deaths in the whole country attributed to abortions of any kind. In New York City in 1921 there were 144 abortion deaths, In 1951 there were only 15; and , while the abortion death rate was going down so strikingly in that 30-year period, we know what happened to the population and the birth rate. Two corollary factors must be mentioned here: first, chemotherapy and antibiotics have come in, benefiting all surgical procedures as well as abortion. Second, and even more important, the conference estimated that 90 percent of all illegal abortions are presently being done by physicians. Call them what you will, abortionists or anything else, they are still physicians, trained as such; and many of them are in good standing in their communities. They must do a pretty good job if the death rate is as low as it is…abortion, whether therapeutic or illegal, is in the main no longer dangerous.11

In 2009, research done by the The National Abortion Federation confirmed Calderons claims. See, the future of abortion is more medical than surgical. Using medication to induce abortion or finding a doctor who is willing to perform an illegal abortion since they will already have the necessary tools would be the most common methods of procuring an illegal abortion rather than women attempting to perform surgery on themselves with a coat hanger. That’s just an emotional appeal not based on facts. 

Most of this information can be found here and here and it will also direct you to other source material if you are actually interested in learning more about this.

[jcmarchi]

Uphill battles: Across the country in 75 days

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/uphill-battles-across-the-country-in-75-days/

Uphill battles: Across the country in 75 days

Amulya Aluru ’23, MEng ’24, will head to the University of California at Berkeley for a PhD in molecular and cell biology PhD this fall. Aluru knows her undergraduate 6-7 major and MEng program, where she worked on a computational project in a biology lab, have prepared her for the next step of her academic journey.

“I’m a lot more comfortable with the unknown in terms of research — and also life,” she says. “While I’ve enjoyed what I’ve done so far, I think it’s equally valuable to try and explore new topics. I feel like there’s still a lot more for me to learn in biology.”

Unlike many of her peers, however, Aluru won’t reach the San Francisco Bay Area by car, plane, or train. She will arrive by bike — a journey she began in Washington just a few days after receiving her master’s degree.

Showing that science is accessible

Spokes is an MIT-based nonprofit that each year sends students on a transcontinental bike ride. Aluru worked for months with seven fellow MIT students on logistics and planning. Since setting out, the team has bonded over their love of memes and cycling-themed nicknames: Hank “Handlebar Hank” Stennes, Clelia “Climbing Cleo” Lacarriere, Varsha “Vroom Vroom Varsha” Sandadi, Rebecca “Railtrail Rebecca” Lizarde, JD “JDerailleur Hanger” Hagood, Sophia “Speedy Sophia” Wang, Amulya “Aero Amulya” Aluru, and Jessica “Joyride Jess” Xu. The support minivan, carrying food, luggage, and occasionally injured or sick cyclists, even earned its own nickname: “Chrissy”, short for Chrysler Pacifica.

“I really wanted to do something to challenge myself, but not in a strictly academic sense,” Aluru says of her decision to join the team and bike more than 3,000 miles this summer.

The Spokes team is not biking across the country solely to accomplish such a feat. Throughout their journey, they’ll be offering a variety of science demonstrations, including making concrete with Rice Krispies, demonstrating the physics of sound, using 3D printers, and, in Aluru’s case, extracting DNA from strawberries.   

“We’re going to be in a lot of really different learning environments,” she says. “I hope to demonstrate that science can be accessible, even if you don’t have a lab at your disposal.”

These demonstrations have been held in venues such as a D.C. jail, a space camp, and libraries and youth centers across the country; their learning festivals were even featured on a local news channel in Kentucky.

Some derailments

The team was beset with challenges from the first day they started their journey. Aluru’s first day on the road involved driving to every bike shop and REI store in the D.C. metro area to purchase bike computers for navigation because the ones the team had already purchased would only display maps of Europe.

Four days in and four Chrysler Pacificas later — the first was unsafe due to bald tires, the second made a weird sound as they pulled out of the rental lot, and the third’s gas pedal stopped working over 50 miles away from the nearest rental agency — the team was back together again in Waynesboro, Virginia, for the first time since they’d set out.

Since then, they’ve had run-ins with local fauna — including mean dogs and a meaner turtle — attempted to repair a tubeless bike that was not, in fact, tubeless, and slept in Chrissy the minivan after their tents got soaked and blew away.

Although it hasn’t all been smooth riding, the team has made time for fun. They’ve perfected the art of eating a Clif bar while on two wheels, played around on monkey bars in Colorado, met up with Stanford Spokes, enjoyed pounds of ice cream, and downed gallons of lattes.

The team prioritized routes on bike trails, rather than highways, as much as possible. Their teaching activities are scheduled between visits to National Parks like Tahoe, Zion, Bryce Canyon, Arches, and touring and hiking places like Breaks Interstate Park, Mammoth Cave, and the Collegiate Peaks.

Aluru says she’s excited to see parts of the country she’s never visited before, and experience the terrain under her own power — except for breaks when it’s her turn to drive Chrissy.

Rolling with the ups and downs

Aluru was only a few weeks into her first Undergraduate Research Opportunities Program project in the late professor Angelika Amon’s lab when the Covid-19 pandemic hit, quickly transforming her wet lab project into a computational one. David Waterman, her postdoc mentor in the Amon Lab, was trained as a biologist, not a computational scientist. Luckily, Aluru had just taken two computer science classes.

“I was able to have a big hand in formulating my project and bouncing ideas off of him,” she recalls. “That helped me think about scientific questions, which I was able to apply when I came back to campus and started doing wet lab research again.”

When Aluru returned to campus, she began work in the Page Lab at the Whitehead Institute for Biomedical Research. She continued working there for the rest of her time at MIT, first as an undergraduate student and then as an MEng student.

The Page Lab’s work primarily concerns sex differences and how those differences play out in genetics, development, and disease — and the Department of Electronic Engineering and Computer Science, which oversees the MEng program, allows students to pursue computational projects across disciplines, no matter the department.

For her MEng work, Aluru looked at sex differences in human height, a continuation of a paper that the Page Lab published in 2019. Height is an easily observable human trait and, from previous research, is known to be sex-biased across at least five species. Genes that have sex-biased expression patterns, or expression patterns that are higher or lower in males compared to females, may play a role in establishing or maintaining these sex differences. Through statistical genetics, Aluru replicated the findings of the earlier paper and expanded them using newly published datasets.

“Amulya has had an amazing journey in our department,” says David Page, professor of biology and core member of the Whitehead Institute. “There is simply no stopping her insatiable curiosity and zest for life.”

Working with the lab as a graduate student came with more day-to-day responsibility and independence than when she was an undergrad.

“It was a shift I quite appreciated,” Aluru says. “At times it was challenging, but I think it was a good challenge: learning how to structure my research on my own, while still getting a lot of support from lab members and my PI [principal investigator].”

Gearing up for the future

Since departing MIT, Aluru and the rest of the Spokes team have spent their nights camping, sleeping in churches, and staying with hosts. They enjoyed the longest day of the year in a surprisingly “Brooklyn chic” house, spent a lazy afternoon on a river, and pinky-promised to be in each other’s weddings. The team has also been hosted by, met up with, and run into MIT alums as they’ve crossed the country.

As Aluru looks to the future, she admits she’s not exactly sure what she’ll study — but when she reaches the West Coast, she knows she’s not leaving what she’s built through MIT far behind.

“There’s going to be a small MIT community even there — a lot of my friends are in San Francisco, and a few people I know are also going to be at Berkeley,” she says. “I have formed a community at MIT that I know will support me in all my future endeavors.”

[generalmacnamara]

I can draw you a map if you give me a basic idea of what rooms should be how far apart :)

(Like just tell me the main rooms, I’ll make all that other shit up)

OOC:

arite! basically there's a big hub in the middle of the whole HQ, main building is this hexagonal place in the centre of the hub. behind it is an area with all the research labs and storage centres and such. riiight at the end of the road with all the research facilities on it is a large building that has the portal inside it (and more classified underground labs). on the left is the target range, training grounds, gym, all that kind of business. on the right is living quarters, cafeteria, staff room, medical bay and all the recreational stuff. there's other assorted buildings dotted around with mixed purposes but it's a huge place (since it is the main operative base for PEIP) so there's plenty of room for it. you can interpret how those assorted buildings are placed and what they are however you like. i'd say there's stuff like a garage/mechanics for all the vehicles, airplane/helicopter hanger, etc. :)

I hope that makes sense I'm bad at describing locations lol!!

[hale-home-services]

Common Mistakes to Avoid When Cleaning Your Drain Pipes

To keep your plumbing system healthy and operating properly, you must maintain clean drain pipes. On the other hand, a lot of homeowners commit typical errors that might result in inadequate cleaning or even pipe damage. This article will help you in avoiding these problems and maintaining the condition of your drain pipes.

1. Using Harsh Chemical Cleaners

Mistake: Using strong chemical drain cleaners is one of the most frequent mistakes. These products may seem like they would work quickly, but over time, they might harm your pipes. The chemicals are bad for the environment and can corrode the pipe material, causing leaks or corrosion.

Solution: Use natural, less abrasive cleaning products like vinegar and baking soda. These substitutes are efficient and less hazardous for the environment and your plumbing.

2. Ignoring Preventive Maintenance

Mistake: Before acting, a lot of individuals wait until they experience slow drainage or a clog. Ignoring preventive maintenance can eventually result in more serious problems.

Solution: Make time for routine drain pipe repairs. Regular inspections, either quarterly or monthly, can help prevent future issues and maintain the smooth operation of your drains.

3. Overusing Drain Cleaners

Mistake: In an attempt to increase the cleaning impact, some homeowners may use excessive amounts of drain cleaner. Overuse might have negative effects and increase the risk of pipe damage.

Solution: For any cleaning product you use, make sure you follow the manufacturer’s directions. Generally speaking, most cleaning jobs only require a little amount. Overuse can be inefficient and hazardous.

4. Neglecting to Flush with Water

Mistake: Not completely flushing the pipes with water after using a cleaning or do-it-yourself solution can leave residues that could cause blockages in the future.

Solution: After using any cleaning solution, make sure to always flush your pipes with hot water. This keeps your pipes clean and helps to wash away any leftover residue.

5. Using the Wrong Tools

Mistake: The interior of your pipes may get scratched or damaged if you use the wrong tools, such as metal hangers or stiff brushes.

Solution: Make use of instruments made expressly for clearing drains, like a plumber’s auger or a drain snake. These are made to be both efficient and kind to your pipes.

6. Forgetting to Check for Pipe Damage

Mistake: The interior of your pipes may get scratched or damaged if you use the wrong tools, such as metal hangers or stiff brushes.

Solution: Make use of instruments made expressly for clearing drains, like a plumber’s auger or a drain snake. These are made to be both efficient and kind to your pipes.

7. Improperly Handling Grease and Oil

Mistake: Grease and oil pouring down the drain is strictly forbidden. These materials may harden in the pipes and cause clogs that are difficult to clear.

Solution: Grease and oil should be disposed of in a container and thrown out with regular household trash. Use an enzyme-based cleaning or grease-fighting cleaner to remove any grease accumulation if you have previously dumped grease down the drain.

8. Ignoring the P-Trap

Mistake: Despite being an essential part of keeping blockages and collecting debris, the P-trap beneath your sink is frequently disregarded while cleaning.

Solution: Take out and clean the P-trap on a regular basis. You can accomplish this by removing it from the drainpipe, cleaning out any debris that may have become lodged, and then reattaching it.

9. Not Following Up After Cleaning

Mistake: It’s simple to believe everything is OK after cleaning without making sure the issue has been completely fixed.

Solution: After cleaning, keep an eye on your drains to make sure everything is operating as it should. If problems continue, more research might be required.

10. Failing to Seek Professional Help When Needed

Mistake: Some people try to solve serious blockages or pipe problems by themselves, which might result in harm or inadequate solutions.

Solution: Don’t be afraid to contact a licensed plumber if you run into serious or chronic issues. They can safely and efficiently manage difficult challenges because they have the knowledge and resources to do so.

Conclusion

If you stay away from these common mistakes, cleaning your drain pipes doesn’t have to be a bother. You can keep your pipes in top shape and prevent expensive repairs by employing the proper techniques and equipment, adhering to regular cleaning schedules, and taking quick action when issues arise. Keep in mind that maintaining the proper operation of your plumbing system just requires a little preventative maintenance.