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#roach when he sees an actual roach
summoningflames · 6 months
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this is my favourite asmr video and now my favourite art trend thank u
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aeb-art · 3 months
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i was trying to make up side characters for @8um8le's space friends and thought "every show needs a grump"
i'm not gonna finish this though, so y'all can have it now o7
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littlewigglers · 6 months
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Do you plan on getting any non millipede friends
I do! I’d love to get some more isopods and raise some beetles from larva again. I’d also LOVE to get back into fish keeping my faves are bettas, shrimps, corydoras and kuhli loaches! Maybe a snake or gecko further down the line? But those are what I know the least about and would be most hesitant to get as I want any creatures I get to have the best care I can give them.
I’d say the only creatures on my never list are spiders, roaches, centipede, anything else that moves overly fast or has a bad bite/is venomous/poisonous. Probably turtles too just due to their life spans.
But millipedes and isopods are what I’m able to keep right now as I’d have to get some new tanks for anything else, as well as all the research I’d need to do to be comfortable keeping them.
Oh also I do have two cats I just don’t post about them here, and I plan to possibly get a third next year but we’ll see :3
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hanzajesthanza · 1 year
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pegasus is straight confirmed
#the neurotic 10/10 woman being in love with an average 5/10 guy with a good heart is honestly a huge reoccurrence in the witcher though#txt#see prev post/reblog for context#c: roach#c: pegasus#i still like that headcanon from the discord server that#geralt takes to equestrian husbandry when he’s older (in the tw3 end / au where he lives at corvo bianco w/ yen)#and is trying to breed roach because she’s a reliable and fast steed#but she and the paired stallion aren’t really taking to each other and during this period of time dandelion rides in on pegasus#and somehow dandelion didnt care to check if pegasus was actually a gelding or not#geralt thinks — oh finally the stallion i was pairing roach with actually did the job because roach is pregnant#however long horse gestation takes later#roach gives birth and geralt is proud — but he doubts the parentage because#— but ​the foal is both a biter and terrible-tempered (roach) and also fat and lazy (pegasus). literally the worst of both worlds#so geralt has to send a letter to dandelion being like#‘your stupid SHITTY horse knocked MY HORSE up’#‘i hope youre planning on paying foal support’ (like child support get it)#‘i thought pegasus was a gelding’ ‘yeah i’m pretty sure he is’ ‘… dandelion do you know what gelding is’#[geralt explains] ‘🫣 GHASTLY!! … ohh that’s why everyone always threatens me with that huh’#‘poor pegasus 😭 my poor boy…’ ‘well obviously he is not a gelding though’ ‘oh. good on you then boy’#anyways… im sorry you had to read this if you think its stupid. i think its funny and something which would take place in a happy ending#the other detail was that there was supposed to be a litter of foals and only one foal is fast yet docile (best of their traits)#but the foal doesnt like anyone except yennefer and she names it thunderbolt or thunderstorm iirc#but i realized later that horses dont have litters they have like one foal#these headcanons are community property but they had to be written out publically at some point so here you are#i find the horses of the heroes to be a great source of comic relief if you think about it
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katyspersonal · 8 months
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Had a weird short nightmare in which someone (don't remember who exactly he was) directed me into my room at my old house, that was supposed to represent my heart, or part of it. It was very messy, dirty and dark, but I was sent there because I was threatened by a "pest" that would drain/destroy my soul if not caught...? According to the "voice" the stakes were high, anyways. Along all the shards, dirt and broken furniture there was also a paper sheet in which it was written who I am. I remember some traits that were written... And that paper sheet already had a lot of bite marks. It actually seemed to be HALF-eaten already.
The pest was really small and fast, I could not see it, but I could "feel" it, and when I caught it, turned out that it was a specific type of caterpillar that the "I can't live without you *changes his mind 1 week later*" guy associated himself with. Strangely enough, despite it being a caterpillar, it was flying. I was feeling so bad about squashing it in my hand, but I did it.. I suppose I stopped some sort of destructive process. Not expecting to instantly be "okay again" after this, but it just feels like it meant something.
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shlonguru · 3 months
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Can we get one of Alastor fucking you in his radio booth and broadcasting it to fuck with Vox~ pretty please with a cherry on top💕
God thank you so much for your request and this idea, it really inspired me so much and I might do even more with this cause I find it inherently hot hehe. I'm so happy so many people enjoyed the first part of Alastor x Fem!Reader x Vox and I'm a degenerate so I wrote a second. I hope you guys like it too! Enjoy my fellow degenerates! o/
I would also like to thank @wipmoop for their amazing art cover for this smut! They're truly the best you can check them out !
And with this, I present you, drumroll please :
Alastor X Fem!Reader X Vox 2 - Rematch !
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Summary : You're tired of waiting for your rematch and decide to take things into your own hands. Are you ready to face the consequences of your actions ?
Warning : 18+, Smut, dirty talking, oral, oral creampie, creampie, threesome, cum swallowing, praise kink, teasing, overstimulation, rough, cunnilingus, hair pulling, bondage, spanking.
Word Count : 4883 words (Yup, it's worse than the first one.)
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After the events of the party Alastor brought you back to the hotel, explaining to Charlie that you might’ve hmm…had more than you could handle. She was delighted at the idea of you residing at the hotel and extended an unlimited invitation to you. You had your own room and actually enjoyed the people there more than you thought you would. You thought you’d give redemption a shot. However, you had been dreaming of your rematch with Vox and Alastor and it occupied most of your daily thoughts, as much as you hated to admit it.
It had been 2 weeks since you moved in and you hadn’t really been seeing Alastor since the party, he was a busy man after all, he was usually very polite when he saw you and would give you a hand kiss or wink at you. You hadn’t seen Vox at all since the party, but it wasn’t too surprising. Slowly, you started realizing that you were okay with what happened being a one-off thing.
This day you had just finished exercises with everyone and was chilling having some tea when Charlie exclaimed: “Oh Alastor is hosting his radio show! We should bring him some tea! Where’s Niffty? She’d be super-fast.” She looked around unable to find her.”
“She was chasing a family of roaches last time I saw her.” You explained drinking your tea. “I can bring him if you want.” You offered, not thinking much of it, but knowing the idea of seeing Alastor brought a slight smile to your face.
“Really?” Asked Charlie with sparks in her eyes. “That is such a selfless act I love it!”
“Is it?” You questioned. She nodded furiously before handing you a tray with a cup of tea, some milk, sugar, and some biscuits on it.
You left the group and started making your way to the radio tower. As you approached it you heard the demon speaking into his mic.
“And that my fellows, is why you should never trust a demon whose name starts with a V. I will return in a moment, enjoy this musical break of electro swing.”
You arrived in front of the door and knocked.
“Come in.” You heard.
You entered the room to find Alastor sitting in front of his station, his legs crossed.
“Oh, Hello Dear!” He exclaimed seeing it was you at the door.
“Hi! Charlie asked me to bring you some tea. How’s your show going?” You smiled as you entered the room. Alastor looked at you intensely as you walked past him, his smile as wide as ever, you could feel his gaze on your body, you were wearing a short red dress hugging your shape and flared at the bottom and a pair of black thigh highs. You sat the tray on the coffee table he had next to him and poured him a cup of tea.
“The show is going as well as it needs to be.” He replied coldly, pausing afterwards. “But more importantly, this dress suits you very well, I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since that night at the party.” He proclaimed calmly.
Your face flushed lightly and he noticed. He hadn’t talked about the party since that night and the simple mention of it sent back embarrassing flashbacks to your mind. Not that you regretted it.
“Oh really? I hadn’t noticed. This is more casual though.” You replied, not looking him in the eyes.
“Is it now Dear?” Asked the demon searching for your gaze then looking you from the bottom up.
“I'm glad you like it." You teased then presented the cup in front of him and thought you noticed a quick glance at your cleavage.
This was enough for you to decide that you had done progress at the hotel and that meant you deserved a little reward, and if you were honest with yourself, you had missed Alastor and Vox’s touch since that night, after all, they had given you a night you could never forget as promised. You had been a good girl but now it was time to drop the act.
You lingered giving him a good look. You then asked innocently: “Is there anything I can do to help?”
He took a good look at you, almost as if he was trying to gauge your intentions. “Actually, I do, would you grab me the mic from the shelf over there.”
“Sure!” You replied smiling. You made your way to the shelf and pretended to struggle to grab the mic which fell to the floor and rolled under the shelf. You then got on all fours and bent over trying to grab it, almost exposing your parts. After grabbing it you stood back up and turned around only to be met with Alastor smiling widely, leaning on the counter of his studio.
“Are you doing okay, Dear?” He grinned tauntingly before taking a sip.
“I don’t know, am I? Here’s your mic.” You handed him the mic. He put down his cup of tea and grabbed the mic slowly, not breaking eye contact with you. He then proceeded to pull swiftly on it, bringing you with it as you hadn’t let go yet. Your body ended up pressed against his.
“You know if you had been craving my attention this badly you should have mentioned it sooner.” He exclaimed looking deep into your eyes.
“Did I crave your attention, or did you miss giving it to me?” You asked smugly smirking back.
“Oh, I can give it to you alright.” He smiled wider, his mouth an inch from yours.
“Do it then.” You smiled back, holding the fold of his jacket.
You felt his lips crash onto yours, the both of you dropping the mic simultaneously. He grabbed your hips tightly pulling you into the kiss, kissing you even deeper as he moved one hand behind your neck. He then lowered his hands to your ass before grabbing both of your cheeks tightly, pulling you off the ground, you legs locking around him instinctively. He turned around, still kissing you while holding your weightless body and sat you on the edge of the counter of his studio. He grabbed both of your wrists and laid you on your back, pinning your hands above your head. He then proceeded to kiss down your neck and onto your cleavage.
“Coming here dressed this way was your mistake.” He smirked.
“Debatable.” You smirked back.
He kept both of your hands pinned together with one of his and took a good look of your flushed, panting, and eager body. While scanning down your body he noticed something that made his eyes widen slightly before he went back to looking into your eyes with a devious smile. His second hand travelled down your body making you realize how sensitive you felt already.
“You might not have missed my attention but this part of you certainly has.” His hand then rubbed against your womanhood, making you realize just how soaked you were already as you squirmed.
“Listen Dear,” he looked at you, still rubbing your pussy, “I’m going to let go of your hands, but you may not touch anything but yourself with them.” He then let go of your hands and pussy before bending over you, resting both of his hands on each side of your head.
“Understood?” He menacingly whispered with a very serious grin.
You nodded.
“Good girl. And be sure to make all of hell know how good you’re feeling.” He smiled before removing his jacket which he threw on his couch.
“Wha-“ You were about to question but then saw him casually turn on the mic of his station. The sign [On Air] turning bright red confirming what you thought.
Alastor then proceeded to kneel in front of you and pull you closer, to the edge of the counter, he then ripped your panties in one movement and started digging in.
You immediately felt his tongue dig deep inside of you, earning a loud moan out of you as he spread your walls. The moans kept pouring as he enthusiastically ate you out, alternating between the inside and the outside of your pussy that he was eating like the first meal he’d had in days. He kept moving his tongue in motions that sent jolts up and down your body.
Before you realized, your hands had made their way into Alastor’s hair, pulling slightly as the pleasure intensified. You only noticed when the pleasure stopped. You looked down, confused, and immediately realized your mistake, letting go of his hair, as the tall demon stood back on his feet, looking at you calmly, which somehow made it scarier.
“Didn’t we agree on you touching nothing but yourself? See not only have you not touched yourself, but you’ve also touched me, and I am not part of you, yet.” He said menacingly.
“Sorry…” You muttered.
“Too late Darling, I’m afraid bad girls need to be disciplined.”
You stared at him as you witnessed him calmly removing his bowtie then grabbing both of your wrists once again, this time tying them together, in a very tight fashion.
“Good.” He exclaimed proud of his work.
And with that he resumed eating you out, this time more aggressively. You felt your walls tighten as he attacked them relentlessly, grabbing your thighs with both of his hands. Your moans were getting louder and louder as his name poured continuously out of your mouth until you felt the knot that had been building up break and the orgasm wash over your body, making your legs shake in the process.
“Holy shit…” You blurted, panting hard as you watched Alastor stand up and give you a quick kiss.
“See, you know how to be a good girl.” He whispered in your ear before licking your ear lobe. You felt his throbbing crotch press against yours.
Before any of you could add anything, you saw a glowing blue circle draw itself around the both of you.
“What is th-“ You couldn’t finish your sentence as you felt yourself fall down through what had now obviously been a portal. The radio demon fell with you, though in a much classier and composed manner, almost as if he knew it was coming.
You felt yourself land on something soft and looked around. It was a very large bed. Alastor had landed comfortably on his feet next to the bed.
“Took him long enough…” He huffed.
You scanned the room; it was very large and luxurious, like a palace. It was a giant bedroom with huge French windows, and tall wooden doors at its entrance. As soon as you laid your eyes on said doors they opened violently.
“The fuck is wrong with you !?” Yelled the handsome tall demon entering the room. It was a very furious Vox. Seeing him furious made you immediately crave him.
“Well, hello to you too.” Smiled Alastor, still in the same relaxed position.
“Why would you broadcast her for all of hell to listen to? Have you lost your mind?” He screamed unable to compose himself.
“I only did so long enough for you to notice.” He mentioned “And if you were so bothered by it, then maybe you should have noticed sooner.” He smiled wider.
“What a dumbass.” Vox walked past Alastor and arrived in front of you. He smiled for the first time.
“Long time no see y/n !” He leaned in front of you making you blush as you took a good look at his handsome figure.
“Hi Vox! I’ve missed you!” You smiled with your face still flushed from your orgasm. He held your chin up gently.
“Fuck I really missed that hot face of yours, I’m sorry you were stuck with such an ungrateful prick for so long, I knew you should’ve moved into my place instead. You’ve clearly gone way too long without getting some well-deserved action, which would have never happened here by the way.” He said that last part louder on purpose. He looked down for a second. “Dear, you are making my sheets wet already, did you really miss me that much?” He smiled looking at your exposed parts, dripping onto the bed.
“We could have settled on a date to have our rematch instead of you exposing her to every lowlife that would listen.” He turned to Alastor.
“Our dear friend couldn’t wait any longer and well I guess I had to take matters into my own hands.” He said innocently.
“You’re such a piece of shit.” Proclaimed Vox with a wide grin on his face, briefly glitching. “I see you’re unable to try and beat me without a head start you radio bastard.”
“It’s not like I was doing anything you could do anyways, Mr. Flat-screen-no-tongue.” The redhead smirked.
“Oh really?” He glitched lightly. “Sit back, relax and shut the fuck up.”
He turned to you, and away from Alastor.
“Y/n! Time to get that rematch baby! Get your ass on the edge of that bed and spread those legs for me!”
Your body moved on its own at this command, and you managed to sit up at the edge of the bed despite your wrists still tied together and sat with your thighs spread open, revealing your most intimate part which couldn’t lie about how much you wanted this. Vox looked at you intensely, taking in the sight he had missed more than he thought he had and bent over resting one hand on his knee, the other holding the bowtie tying your wrists together with a finger.
“Has someone been a bad girl~?” He teased.
“That’s entirely possible.” You smirked back. You could tell from his face he liked that. He let go of your wrists and grabbed both of your thighs tightly, making you lose your balance and fall back onto the bed. The next instant, you sensed something that felt like a tongue slide inside your pussy. It sent immediate literal jolts up your body, earning a loud moan out of you that surprised even you. You came a little from that but didnt say anything, you moved your head, looking at what was going on down there and saw a big blue tongue, sliding out of Vox’s screen and eating out your deepest parts.
“Oh wow!” You exclaimed not knowing what to make of the mix of intense pleasure, surprise and shock you were feeling. A quick glance behind Vox and you saw Alastor roll his eyes unbothered having a cup of tea on the sofa not too far. You didn’t have time to really process anything as the TV demon kept eating you out aggressively, making your orgasm come sooner than you would have expected. You had absolutely no control over how fast it was building up, you just felt it snap and felt yourself come, arching your back embracing the wave of pleasure, grabbing your dress tightly as you did so.
You felt the tongue pull out of you and giving your whole pussy a good lick before Vox stood back up, wiping his face with a satisfied look on his it.
“Fuck you’re so hot when you come.” He blurted trying to keep his composure, but you could already see his member throbbing through his pants.
“Are you done with your ridiculous endeavor? An attempt to prove what exactly?” Exclaimed Alastor in a tone he tried to portray as nonchalant, but everyone else could tell he was ticked off. “Can’t you see she comes so easily you could barely even consider it a challenge.”
That statement pissed you off because as much as you were enjoying yourself you didn’t like being underestimated.
“I had no idea my enjoying myself would make you this insecure?” You responded smirking in your brattiest tone.
“Oh, I like you more and more.” Said Vox raising his brows and smiling at you.
You could swear you noticed an eye twitch on Alastor.
“You brat…clearly if you’re still feeling this confident then we haven’t gone hard enough on you.” He declared with a wicked smile scaring you as much as it turned you on. Alastor teleported onto the bed next to you, grabbed your hair firmly into a ponytail and pulled you further into the large bed, leaving you no choice but to follow him on your knees before pulling your face close to his. Your tied hands were hanging down in front of you as you looked up at the radio demon. “I guess we’ll have to fix that.” He kissed you deeply shoving his tongue in your mouth making your head spin. He pulled away from the kiss for a second.
“Sorry Dear, I am but a terrible spectator.” He went back into the kiss making you dizzy as he pulled down the top of your dress making your breasts bounce out of it. He grabbed one of your tit with his free hand, pinching your nipple and making you whine softly.
"Now you’re going to use all that confidence you were so proud of just seconds ago and you’re going to take it all in.” He let go of you and you fell on all fours, now facing his crotch. You took a good look and immediately noticed how tight his pants looked around his cock, it almost looked painful. With your tied wrists you unzipped his pants, pulling out your reward.
‘Was it this big last time?’ you thought to yourself. A slight look of surprise covering your face for a brief instant.
“Yes, it was.” Replied the radio demon, as if he had read your mind. “You were just too eager to notice.” He finished. You blushed heavily before giving your best shot at taking as much of his member as you could in your mouth, it amounted to about 2/3 of his manhood.
“Not quite, Dear, here, let me give you a hand.” He chuckled before shoving your face down his member, lodging it all the way down your throat. You couldn’t breathe but it still felt good, you pussy was quivering and dripping, and Vox noticed.
“Damn, look at your cunt, don’t worry I gotchu.” You heard Vox who was right behind you and the moment after felt him give your ass a hard spank. That made you moan loudly, and you knew Alastor felt it when you heard a groan coming from him, you looked up only to be met with an intense and serious gaze filled with lust coming from the radio demon. His hands were both in your hair, guiding your mouth up and down, enjoying himself.
Vox stood right behind you, and you heard his pants unzip. Immediately after, you felt one of his hands rest on your hips and the tip of his cock rub against your entrance teasingly.
“Have you missed that?” He asked, lust exuding off his tone. After a few seconds of his teasing, you wanted to beg for him to insert it but you mouth was too full for that.
“Come on…” He teased, knowing he put you in an impossible position.
In one motion you pulled your mouth off Alastor’s cock and pleaded loudly. “Vox please I need your cock in me!” You looked at him with a lewd look on your face .
Seeing you in that state made him blush briefly before he composed himself again.
“Fucking finally! You’re so fucking hot!” He groaned loudly pushing all of him inside of you in one go making you scream of pleasure in the process. You immediately felt Alastor grab your hair in the same fashion he had moments ago, pulling your face close and squinting.
“Let’s not get distracted now, shall we?” He demanded sternly.
Vox felt you tighten around him as you heard those words, pulling an involuntary moan out of him.
“You naughty girl, you’re loving this aren’t you?” He spanked roughly you before starting to thrust at a rather fast pace.
“Obviously.” Declared Alastor smiling before shoving your face back onto his cock. He was the one thrusting now, in fact, they both were and soon enough, you felt that coil build up once again in your insides. Your eyes rolled back as you felt the knot snap.
Vox felt you tighten almost uncomfortably around his member as you came. He grabbed both of our ass cheeks tightly.
“That’s right, come for me!” He groaned throwing his head back and fucking you through your climax, holding your ass tightly then spanking it.
You had just finished coming when you felt Alastor pull out of your mouth. You exhaled loudly catching your breath.
“Good job not suffocating, here’s your reward.” Said Alastor grabbing your panting figure, pulling you off Vox and propping you onto his cock as he stood on his knees, you were still panting but it was now intertwined with moans as he effortlessly moved you up and down his member. You moved your tied up wrists over his head, wrapping your arms around his neck and grabbing it gently, you kissed him softly yet longingly as the moans continuously flooded out of your mouth. You felt his member grow thicker inside of you, as expressed by your moans becoming louder. Your kiss was interrupted by the TV overlord who grabbed your chin, turning your face away from the radio demon.
“Now you can’t just give all your holes away so easily my dear.” He said calmly standing bent over next to you.
“My apologies.” You replied looking up into his eyes.
“You’re forgiven.” He added with a smooth voice before you felt his lips meet yours. You were surprised at how soft they felt, and you had just found out he could do such a thing. He probably didn’t do it every day, but he was such a good kisser, you were dazzled by the kiss before he pulled out of it.
“Now open up dove, we’re not done just yet.” He grinned.
He hadn’t finished his sentence that you had opened your mouth, eagerly awaiting him.
“My god you’re such a good little slut.” He laughed not able to contain himself any longer, he pushed himself deep into your mouth and moaned loudly as he did so, you started moving your head swallowing his member to the base each time.
You hadn’t noticed because of how gradual it had been, but Alastor was now moving much faster than how he had started, hitting your deepest parts each time.
“Are you going to come again and prove me right?” Alastor smirked at you, pausing his thrusting for a moment and spanking your ass roughly. You moaned loudly around Vox’s cock and stopped moving as he immediately grabbed your head and kept the thrusting going.
“Nuh uh, you can’t stop yet.” The TV demon said as he kept pumping in and out of your mouth.
You looked at Alastor from the corner of your eye.
“What is it sweetheart? The TV got your tongue?” He spanked you again this time harder. Your pussy tightened around him, and he felt it, making his grin widen even more.
You looked at him trying your hardest to stay in control.
“Aww you still think you can decide whether you come or not. How adorable…I guess it’s time I teach you this lesson.” He squinted his eyes challengingly before he spanked you one last time, harder than all the other time, this time immediately grabbing both of your ass cheeks very firmly, not breaking eye contact with you.
“I…” He slammed you against his cock. “…decide…” He slammed harder. “…if…” He slammed even harder, digging his nails into your ass. “…and when…” He slammed hard and you felt yourself dangerously close to the edge. “…you come!” He grinned, slamming one last time harder than you had ever felt him thrust in you and he saw your eyes roll back as your pussy started pulsating around his cock. You moaned loudly around Vox’s cock, who pulled out just in time to hear it aloud. You were panting hard, your whole body going limp.
Vox grabbed your face and pressed your cheeks together bringing his face close to yours. “You’ll relax soon enough bitch, but we’re not done yet.” He then proceeded to grab you off Alastor and prop you once again on all fours. You were wobbly at best. “Come on are you already exhausted? After all this big talk?” He spanked you now red ass making you whine. You moaned softly and looked at him with pleading eyes. Your legs felt weak from all this thrusting and climaxing, and he could tell. He let out a soft sigh.
“Here. Let me give you a hand.” He grabbed one of your legs and propped it on his shoulder. “Now you’re going to take it like a good girl?” He looked at you his eyes focusing intensely on you.
“Yes, Sir.” You pleaded. As soon as he heard those words coming out of your mouth he felt an irrepressible urge to take you and you felt all of him enter you once more, at this point your pussy being overstimulated felt so sensitive everything felt ten times more intense. You moaned loudly while your tongue hung out of your mouth, and you gripped the sheets tightly as Vox started thrusting more roughly than he previously had.
Alastor, seeing your tongue hanging and your mouth open, took this opportunity to push himself inside your mouth and started thrusting.
“Enjoy your own taste dear, because you’re about to taste me.” He declared with a sadistic gaze on his now flushed face. You loved seeing the evolution of his boldness as lust took over.
“Shit you’re so fucking tight!” Vox thrusted hard, gritting his teeth, and digging his nails into your thigh, pulling it close against his chest as he lost himself in pleasure, his movement becoming more erratic as he glitched and he brought himself closer to the final release, nevertheless, he never failed to hit your G-spot with each thrust. You felt it coming, despite your best efforts, they both felt you tense up more and more. You still did a great job wrapping your tongue around the radio demon’s shaft, you heard his breath get shakier as he maintained composure fucking your mouth, one hand under your chin and the other in your hair.
You felt the knot about to snap as you hear them both declare as one:
“Are you ready?”
They both thrusted deep in you one last time, releasing simultaneously, filling you up from both sides as you came one last time, almost seeing stars at this point.
Alastor let out the closest thing to a moan as he emptied himself directly down your throat tightening around his member, slowly pulling himself out afterwards and enjoying the sight of your dazed expression.
“Good job.” He patted your cheek smiling and slightly panting, much more relaxed than a few moments ago.
Vox pulled out next and you immediately collapsed onto the bed, cum flowing out of you.
“Holy shit you felt so fucking good!” Vox also felt all sorts of dizzy after his orgasm. He quickly got a grip and they both grabbed what was necessary to clean you up, laying you down comfortably after Alastor removed his bowtie from your sore wrists and Vox handed you one of his shirts to wear.
You were fast asleep and woke up probably a few hours later to both of them having tea in the corner of the room.
“Oh, shut the fuck up, you can’t talk your way into being better in bed, she literally blacked out after I made her come, that’s how good it was.” Expressed Vox with frustration.
“Maybe that or you were just so boring she fell asleep.” Replied Alastor calmly sipping his tea.
“Fuck off, weren’t you facefucking her as well? Wouldn’t that make you boring by extension?” He proclaimed, anger taking over his tone.
Alastor ignored him. You moved in the bed making it creak and earning their attention.
“Oh, looks like our friend has finally awaken from her great slumber.” Announced the radio demon.
They both arrived by your side as you fully came to.
“Hello beautiful.” Exclaimed Vox, with his usual smile and composure. “How are we doing?”
“Well!” You replied attempting to stretch then realizing how sore your whole body felt. “Never mind.” You added.
They both smiled with a satisfied look on their face, almost as if admiring their work.
“Yeah, you need to rest. Next time try not to bite off more than you can chew sweetheart.” Declared Vox with Alastor nodding approvingly next to him.
“Any idea who performed best this time Dear?” Asked the radio demon.
“I mean, it’s hard to give you an answer when you both do whatever you want at all times.” You said with a hint of frustration. “Maybe if you both stuck to one hole, I would be able to tell.” You added, genuinely trying to recall all the events in the right order.
“Hmm, No.”
“Nope.” They both proclaimed simultaneously.
“We will, however, keep fucking you until you give us an answer.” Gloated Vox with a hint of excitement in his voice.
“I’m afraid it’s the only way.” Added Alastor calmly.
“Fair.” You conceded.
‘Holy shit what did I get myself into…’ You thought to yourself.
“Now, rest my dear, you’re going to need it.” Said Vox still smiling at you before vanishing into electricity out of the room.
“I’ll see you soon Darling.” Declared Alastor before smiling and disappearing into a shadow.
To be continued...
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Vox is genuinely so effortless to write. I love how versatile he can be, Alastor on the other hand is rough -.- but once I'm done I can fully appreciate it.
PS : I know Alastor is Aroace and I hope no one takes offense to my work. I genuinely take pleasure in writing smuts and I've been loving his personality that's all.
Peace out ! o/
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runicarbiter02 · 11 months
Note
How would each CoD character react to you touching their cheek for the first time? (In a caressing way)
A/N: Oh my god, this is actually the cutest and I couldn't think of a better way to start off this blog, thank you for this, love! I hope you enjoy! ~ Hannah
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ALEX KELLER
Oh, this man is absolutely melting the second your hand cups the side of his face.
The goofiest damn grin on his face, corners of his eyes crinkling, soft laugh rumbling in his chest.
"How ya doing, sweetheart? Hanging in there?" Man is always concerned with you and your well-being.
Absolutely is the type of person to just completely nuzzle into your touch, soft sigh of content leaving his lips.
You aren't getting your hand back any time soon. Try and pull away, and he will absolutely pull the kicked puppy look. You can't bring yourself to pull away anyway.
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ALEJANDRO VARGAS
"Oh, is there something you need, mi vida?" This motherfucker and his sweet, smooth voice. Love him.
He will gently draw you in close with a hand on your waist, that signature cheeky grin on his lips. He'll gently take your hand in his and just press sweet kisses to your fingertips.
This will lead to him pulling you aside for a moment, peppering you in sweet kisses and showering you in the most endearing compliments in Spanish.
Expect to be walking away with a spring in your step and a flushed face.
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GARY "ROACH" SANDERSON
At first, he will look wildly confused, his brows furrowing slightly and his head cocking to the side.
"What's up, hun? Everything okay?" He signs the term of endearment with so much passion every time, it is absolutely the sweetest and most heartwarming thing. Any term of endearment he uses is always signed with more passion than anything else.
Once you let him know you just wanted to love on him, this cheeky little shit is flirting with you like crazy.
"Oh, just wanted to love on me, huh? Well, there's more ways you could-" He cuts his signing off with his own laughter when you playfully shove his face away, and he follows after you, making obnoxious kissy noises.
He makes it up to you, though, with the most affectionate kisses. He's goofy and that reflects in how he shows you his love.
(Can you tell I love Roach? I love him very much.)
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JOHNNY "SOAP" MACTAVISH
Johnny will take your other hand, place it on his other cheek, and will gently press your hands against his cheeks to squish his face.
He hums happily, reveling in your touch as his eyes shut and his lips curl into a smile.
"Always know what I need before I even do, mo chridhe." This man is so, so whipped for you. Looks at you with so much love and affection that you might as well melt before him.
Do expect this to end up with you wrapped up in his arms, snuggled close, the Scotsman whispering some of the stupidest jokes known to man to you in an effort to get you to laugh.
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JOHN PRICE
I have like a very specific image in mind for this one!
He tends to work himself to the bone, getting lost and caught up in his work, and its very, very hard to get him out of it. It's one of those nights where you find him hunched over his desk, nose buried in his work.
You walk up behind him, gently resting your hand on his cheek and he pauses, tilting his head back to look up at you.
Despite the exhaustion, his expression softens, the tender smile on his face highlighting the crow's feet at the corners of his eyes.
"It's late, isn't it...? Mmm... Alright, dearest, I'll head to bed."
He gently grasps your wrist and tilts his head to press a fleeting kiss to your palm, and then to the pulse point on your wrist. It takes a bit more convincing before he's off to bed.
(I'm a bit biased, I'm a major John Price simp if you couldn't tell.)
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KEEGAN RUSS
Look, I firmly believe our resident masked men are softies, but they're all different in terms of their softness.
This man is a softie with you, but good god, is he suave and flirty.
"Mmm, what's up, kid...? Just looking for an excuse to see my face, hm? All you had to do was ask." It should be illegal how much this man's voice sounds like a silky purr.
Soft kisses to your fingers, knuckles, and the back of your palm. Fleeting kisses that barely meet, brushing against your skin and leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake.
"Always so sweet for me, kid."
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KÖNIG
(Apparently this man is a colonel? And from what I've seen, if he joined at 18, and if we take the average amount of time it takes to get to that rank... This man is likely in his early 40s. Dilf König? Dilf König.)
Masked man number two! Softie, but different from Keegan. This man is the shy sort of soft.
I imagine this would happen after he shows you his face for the first time. He grew up bullied for his appearance, among other things, and its made him rather insecure about his looks.
When you gently cup the side of his face after studying him for a moment, he heaves a shuddering sigh and averts his gaze shyly. But, the second you tell him how handsome he is, his face goes pink and he flushes shyly.
"Ah, meine Sonne und Sterne... You're going to make me melt." He then proceeds to kiss you softly on the forehead and tells you how much he loves you.
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KYLE "GAZ" GARRICK
A pleasant flush works its way onto his cheeks and he gives you that beautiful smile full of sunshine.
"Missed you, lovely. You been taking good care of yourself?" Sweet, heartless man that he is, worrying about you even though he looks exhausted after his most recent mission.
Gently draws you into him and just hugs you tight, pressing his face into the crook of your neck and sighing happily. The second your cologne or perfume washes over him, all tension leaves him completely.
"Missed this. Missed you." Whispered words against your skin. He gently sways in place with you as you two embrace, his hand coming to rest on the back of your head. Fully cherishes the moment.
"How's about some takeout and we finally watch that show you've been talking about? The House of the Dragon, right? Hopefully its better than the last few seasons of Game of Thrones." You have a stellar date in as you binge the entirety of The House of the Dragon and make up for lost cuddling time.
(Gaz does NOT get enough love and it's criminal. Perfect boyfriend/husband material right here. I adore him. Also? Man is absolutely gorgeous? Best man.)
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NIKOLAI
(Russian dilf? Yes please! Underrated man right here.)
Late nights in bed, curled up with him are always the sweetest. Soft whispered nothings as you both lay together, skin on skin, fully content in a post sex haze.
He shoots you a lazy grin as you cup his face, his hand gently rubbing up and down the expanse of your back. "What's on your mind, мое солнышко? Laying there looking so stunning..."
Soft, playful kisses are placed along your jaw, a cheeky smirk on his lips when you begin to protest, laughter in your voice.
"One more round wouldn't hurt... We can sleep in tomorrow morning, Золотце." You know damn well you're going to be exhausted in the morning as he takes the time to worship every inch of your skin.
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RODOLFO "RUDY" PARRA
(Rudy, my darling, my beloved, my SWEET! This man is also criminally underrated even though he's PERFECT husband material. SHAME!)
He happily returns the favor as you rest your hand against his cheek, his hand cupping your cheek as he rests his forehead against yours.
"Long day, cariño? Mmm, I understand... I'll draw us a bath and we can relax." He takes your hand, pressing sweet kisses to your knuckles before he draws a bath for the both of you.
You both spend most of the evening in the tub, you resting against his back as he holds you close, featherlight kisses pressed to your skin as you both talk about your day.
The both of you take such good care of each other, and there's never less than 100% put into your relationship on both sides.
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SIMON "GHOST" RILEY
Masked softie number 3: Tender and longing edition.
His night terrors don't often wake you; he's usually fairly good at hiding them. The first time he does wake you is during a particularly violent one that has him thrashing and crying out in his sleep.
He wakes not long after you do, sweating and panting, his voice hoarse from how much he had been crying out. Once you're sure he's fully conscious, you gently rest your hand against his cheek and guide him through a grounding routine: 5 things he sees, 4 people he knows, 3 foods he likes, 2 things he hates, and one thing he loves.
As he talks, you become his sole focus as the night terror fades into the back of his mind, the grounding method working wonders.
And when it comes to the one thing he loves, he shuts his eyes and presses further into your touch, a few tears streaking down his cheeks. One hand gently clutches your wrist while the other rests against yours, holding your hand against his cheek. He doesn't need to say it. You know.
You always, always know. And with a kiss to his forehead and your thumb stroking against his cheek, you let him know. I love you too.
[I'M SORRY IF ANY OF THE TRANSLATIONS ARE INCORRECT, I TRIED MY BEST TO GET THE PROPER ONES!]
Mi vida - My life; honey
Mo chridhe - My heart
Meine Sonne und Sterne - My sun and stars
мое солнышко - My sunshine
Золотце - Honey; darling
Cariño - Honey; dear
TAGLIST:
@floral-force
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lxvvie · 7 months
Note
Heyyyy, I'd just had this cool idea, where reader pranks the COD members by getting all glam and dressed up and ask them if they forgot date night and reader pretends to upset with them for forgetting.
*clears throat dramatically.*
Capt. John Price - Clears his throat and talks you down as only Price can and promises he'll make it up to you. Meanwhile, he's trying to figure out the last time y'all even made plans for a date night.
Gaz - Pretends not to know what you're talking about; may or may not be shitting bricks internally. Hits you with the "Er... sorry?"
Alex Keller - Is actually shitting bricks internally. Transforms into Smooth Operator Keller™ to mitigate the damage. "Lookin' good, boss."
Soap - Panics in Golden Retriever. Promises to make it up to you. Is also turned on because you look fuckin' amazing. Wanna have make-up sex or something?
Ghost - Calls your bluff; oh, the bastard would've remembered an upcoming date night. He thinks. You look amazing, though. Real amazing from the way he's eyeing you up and down. Yeah, like hell he's gonna let someone else lay eyes on you. You're all fuckin' his.
Alejandro - The one who reminds you that date night is actually tomorrow night.
Rudy - Jokes on you because tonight was actually supposed to be date night and it seems like you both forgot. Whoops.
König - König.exe short circuits and he. is. DEVASTATED. You're actually the one who has to reassure him that it was only a prank. Oh. Good. He actually does take you out afterward, though.
Horangi - An awkward silence persists before he tells you to sit on his face lmao.
Graves - Is nonplussed by your being upset but not by your obvious good looks. "Wanna go out then, darlin'? Show 'em what they're missing when they see you all dolled up for me?"
Valeria - Calls your bluff and then calls YOU out for missing date nights as well. Oh, shit—
Roach - Wait, what date night?
Keegan - Uh... makes up some bullshit excuse to make himself scarce until you calm down.
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xoxoemynn · 5 months
Text
Summary of Samba's S2 Tidbits
Sharing some highlights I found for those who don't have Twitter. Many thanks to those who shared!!
From this thread:
Buttons had a roped tied around him because he kept trying to run back to the sea.
A scene was cut about everyone at Jackie's discussing what they would have in their Dream Boat - Pete said Lucius, Wee John wants to be a room person, Oluwande wants to be with Jim, Roach wants a kitchen.
Izzy was hit with a dry bread sandwich filled with a pickle and dried jerky in S1 and Roach made the same sandwich for when they kicked Blackbeard off in S2. No one knew Taika was going to hit the sandwich to Rhys the three of them came up with it that's why Nathan was laughing.
Calypso's birthday was initially going to be Lucius and Pete's wedding.
Roach is a verified Ned Low Stan!
Improvised scenes: the thumb war (😭), Izzy saying "rude," Roach flipping off Izzy's headstone
A scene of Jim and Oluwande and Archie stepping out of their room in boxers was cut
And from this thread:
S2E6 was not originally going to be be Calypso's birthday, instead it was Black Pete & Lucius wedding. Wee John & Roach were trying to get Ed and Stede to hook up because there was too much sexual tension on the ship. They gave Stede a makeover, Wee John dressed him, Roach pierced his ear and gave him an earing. Then Stede & Ed actually danced! Samba likes what the episode changed to, and that they didn't force the Ed/Stede relationship earlier.
David Fane got bit by an eel on the toe while filming their spa scene. They had to get back into the water to finish filming the scene. You will see in the episode that they are really kicking their feet in the water to scare the eel off.
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krypticcafe · 1 year
Text
When you call them "babygirl" (COD:MWII)
rating: mature
characters: Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Captain John Price, John "Soap" McTavish, Simon "Ghost" Riley, König, Gary "Roach" Sanderson, Hound
warning(s): language, a smidge of suggestivness
a/n: calling them bbygirls>>>>>calling them fictional crushes. also, my personal Roach hc is that he's a selective mute that took up ASL to communicate.
EDIT: there's now a reversal! What if you were called babygirl 👀
Gaz
His eyebrows raise almost impossibly high
"Did I hear that right or did you just..."
He's not upset, just... surprised.
Pleasantly surprised.
He doesn't mind it but man... it might've sparked something inside him. Might've.
You've given him nicknames before, both teasing and affectionate, but he never expected to be called that before. It's a new feeling.
You don't use it too much with him, but when you do, it gets the cutest laugh out of him. Gets him acting like he doesn't like it, but you know he absolutely does.
If you catch him off guard, he'll tilt his cap down and try to stifle a laugh to distract himself from how warm his face feels.
"Fuckin' hell, the things you do to me..."
You cheekily grin in response and give him those adoring eyes because you know that he knows you do it because you love him just that much to torment him :]
Now you only use it to amuse and tease him just to hear that golden laughter. You don't think you'll ever get tired of it.
Price
First time you said it, he nearly choked on his cigar.
"Sorry, what did you just say?"
He doesn't mean to be rude, it's just that you caught him so off guard. Give the poor man a break.
You repeat it to him and he chuckles, a little awkwardly because him? Babygirl? He can't see it, at least he doesn't see if he even has the qualities for such a title.
But oh, do you disagree. In fact, you start using it more, regardless of what he thinks.
If it's in front of the other task force members, it usually gets him to stop in his tracks and let out a knowing groan, shaking his head and trying to get the team to focus back on whatever they were doing before.
Which is extremely hard with how Gaz and Soap are trying to fight back their giggles.
When you're alone, he sighs but leans into your touch a little more.
He's actually amused by it and has even tried to give you something equally cheesy or teasing just to bite back at you.
It works.
He knows he's egging you on to use it more but truthfully?
He can't bring himself to get actually upset over it.
Soap
You decided to test his reaction on a whim one night at a visit to the pub after a successful mission, walking up behind him and greeting him.
You've never seen his head whip around so fast, and you wonder how he didn't snap his neck.
Oh and there it is.
The classic McTavish SmirkTM.
He's grinning so wide, leaning into your side and wrapping your arm around his waist.
"Would'ya mind repeatin' that, love?"
You're starting to regret this, seeing as he's enjoying it a little too much.
Then again... it could make this night a little more rewarding.
After that, he practically pushes you to use it more, says something about getting butterflies or how it "rolls off your tongue so well"
Either way, you don't mind it, seeing how it makes him happy and how he seems more obliged to listen to you.
And every time you do, he's always got that adoring glint in his eyes and an excited grin on his lips because fuck yeah,
He is your babygirl.
Ghost
He freezes so badly, the only movement being his shallow breathing.
To be honest, you were a b i t nervous to try, but you figured there was no harm in it with how far your relationship was.
But now you're starting to regret even trying, wondering if you've crossed a line or-
"Say it again."
Ohfuckohfuckohfuck-
You do as he says, and it gets a dry laugh out of him. He shakes his head and brings a hand to his forehead, mumbling about how stupid it is.
Except you don't miss that softened look in his eyes, the one weakness of his mask.
So you start rolling it out slowly and steadily, mostly in private because god knows he would strangle you for using it in public.
Much to his dismay, the 141 still overhears it thanks to you "teasing" him with it as a "joke".
Regardless, you don't mind limiting it to being used in private because you're the only one that knows and uses the fact that the Simon "Ghost" Riley secretly loves being called your babygirl.
Specifically in a soft or smooth way that gets him to just fucking melt on the spot. Even a simple, "How's my babygirl doing today?" in passing gets him all worked up at the idea of him being yours and yours only. It's even worse when you use it in bed.
So use it wisely!
König
He's looking around as if you're talking to someone else. Poor thing's all confused.
When he finally figures it out that it's him you're talking about, ohhh the way you wish you could take a peek under that hood.
The man's got his face buried in his hands, gripping and pulling the hood down on his face as if any inch of skin would further reveal how flustered he got.
Though you can already imagine it for yourself, his face burning brightly with his lips pressed tightly, causing all his stammering and sputtering.
Even worse, because of that, you add it to the list of various nicknames you have for him.
What you didn't expect is for him to adjust so well to it. At some point, he just sheepishly laughs and smiles whenever you use it, and of course, he's still a little shy about it,
But he starts leaning into it more, responding to it like he would any other name. Loves it like any other nickname when he just buries his face in your shoulder and cuddles you while you whisper reassurances to him.
Just be careful using it around the others, he'll implode if they find out.
Roach
What surprises you is how quickly he accepts it.
You had called out for him, and he just turned and responded with a signed "Yes?"
It kinda caught the both of you off guard.
He snickers and signs again, "Would you want me to call you something similar?"
You know where this is going, and before you can do anything, he starts calling you "hot stuff".
So now the two of you keep coming up with a bunch of corny, cheesy nicknames to sign to each other, some of which don't even make sense.
It's until that you call him it again he's like Soap in that he goes, "You know what? Yeah, I am your babygirl!"
Now he wears the name loud and proud. Almost too proudly. Pretty much the whole base knows it by now.
He got a goddamn name patch of it.
Occasionally, you'll get other 141 members commenting, "Looking for your babygirl?" or "Surprising that you don't have your babygirl with you today." with emphasis on the nickname.
So basically, what was supposed to be you teasing him was now him teasing you.
Hound
They first overheard you using it when you were conversing with some other force members, mostly talking about Hound and you. To many, it was a strangely unlikely relationship come true. He didn't think too much about it. You probably fumbled with your words.
Then he overheard it a second time. Then, a third. Then it came to a point where they just figured that it was now another term of endearment for them.
In all honesty, he's confused why you specifically like using that of all names, he simply can't see how such a cute, loving name could fit someone like him
You explain to them how it's kind of your way of showing them as yours, that they're your baby, and to you, they're one of the sweetest things to exist.
He melts at that.
So now when he hears it from you close or from afar, his head perks up, and he'll give a quick glance in your direction.
Sometimes, you use that fact just to get his attention, and he knows that, but he never minds when he gets to see you grinning so brightly.
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romanarose · 2 months
Text
Scars
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Pre-Outbreak!Joel Miller x pale!fem!reader (see immersivity warnings)
Join my taglist : Masterlist
Summary: You and Joel are taking things slow, really slow. You find that he's easy to open up to about your depression, but you find it's hard to tell him the full extent.
Warnings: Talk of depression and self harm, self harm scars, descriptions of said scars (healed, not bleeding or recent) piv sex, oral f!recieving. Comfort sex. first time between couple, not loss of virginity.
Immersivity: Reader is fem, no specified age. This is a fic i started last year when i was doing very, very poorly and relapsing. I wanted to write something for myself. I usually really try to make things as inclusive as I can but the descriptions of scars are detailed and they are detailed to my skin, which is pale. I'm sorry, but I wanted to write this for myself. I support people writing fics specific to themselves, their skin tone, their hair type, their wieght etc, as long as it's labled right. @fandxmslxt69 said i could do it and said if anyone has a problem, come to her <3
***************
"And the scars remind us that the past is real" Scars, Papa Roach
Joel hadn’t minded when you said you wanted to take things slow. He didn’t mind one bit. Being a dad of a preteen , albeit an easy one, didn’t leave him with much opportunity to move fast. He was busy. In fact, he hadn’t really intended to date at all, at least until Sarah was in college if that… but you had sparkled your way into his life accidentally, and he was trying his best to balance it all. You were understanding, patient, you didn't get mad if he had to rearrange plans or cancel because something with Sarah or work came up, and he thought things were going well. You were beautiful, fun, and the few times you’d briefly met Sarah, she seemed to like you. That was a necessity. Joel absolutely refuses to date someone that made Sarah unhappy, but Sarah had made a few references to him and dating before he met you anyway, so she seemed okay with it. It wasn’t like he had a relationship with her mom, as much as Joel had tried to foster something… her mom hadn’t been interested.
Tommy was a lifesaver. When he noticed Joel had been struggling, Tommy sat him down and asked to help him. Tommy asked Joel. 
“You deserve a life.” Tommy had insisted.
“Sarah is my life.”
“Joel, you deserve m-”
“Don’t say I deserve more, Tommy. Sarah is enough. I don’t need more.”
Tommy sighed. “I know, brother, but can I at least help you out a bit? Give you a little free time to see that pretty girl of yours?”
Tommy had only met you once, but he liked you too. Joel acquiesced, letting Tommy take care of taking her to soccer practices (but he would NOT miss a game). This did end up being a big help and Joel had more and more time to see you… and when Tommy took Sarah out for a movie or she had plans with friends, he found more and more time alone in the evening with you.
Joel didn’t want to take his hands off your body the first time you and him made out on his couch, but when his hand went to feel up your breasts, you noticeably tensed. Fearing he overstepped, Joel quickly pulled back and apologized. Both of you nervous messes, it took a moment before you and Joel got full sentences out.
“Shit, I’m sorry-”
“No no it’s okay!”
“I just thought-”
“And I want too-!”
“No, I didn’t mean for anything tonight-”
“Oh, uh, right-”
“Not that I don’t want to!”
“Me too!”
Eventually, Joel clarified he was just enjoying feeling you, he didn’t want you to feel pressured into anything ‘like that’, and you explained he can touch you like that, you just wanted to wait a little bit… You sat back, nervous, but figured now was as good a time as any. 
“Actually, there was something I wanted to talk to you about, if we could…” You shuffle on the couch.
Joel looks nervous, but open. He wants to know you, good and bad, and if something was bothering you, he wanted to know. “Of course, I’m all ears.”
You take a deep breath. “Do you know what depression is?”
“Oh. Uh, yeah, I have an aunt with it but we don’t really talk about it much… Sometimes Sarah’s school sends her home with pamphlets… so I know a little, I guess.” That’s not what he was expecting.
“Well… I have it.”
“Oh.” He says again, dumbly. “I'm sorry. Or… am I not supposed to say that?”
You can’t help laughing a little. He was sweet, and he was trying. “It’s okay, Joel, and thank you. Well, about 6 months ago I started therapy and started taking an antidepressant, and things have been a lot better but… I need you to understand, things can get really dark for me sometimes and… it can be a lot for other people to deal with. I promise, it’s nothing dangerous to others!” You quickly add when you see his confused face. “It’s just, sometimes I’m not myself… and, if that’s not something you can handle, I want you to know that’s okay.”
Joel sat there for a moment, looking at you. He wasn’t stupid, he knew what depression was… but in the South, it wasn’t like they talked about that sort of thing much. Still, he liked you… he liked you a lot, actually, and he wanted to be there to support you. He couldn’t just run away from difficult times, not when he had a preteen. It would mean he wasn’t fit to be there for Sarah…
“I wanna be there for you.” Joel assured you, to your growing smile. “I may not know how to, but I wanna try my best.”
You smile more, and scoot up next to him, in turn Joel lays an arm around you. “Thank you, Joel”
Still, you were nervous… because Joel hasn’t seen you without sleeves… nonetheless without clothes. 
*
In the end, it was almost 4 months before you had sex. Physically, you’d taken things slow, but emotionally you hadn’t at all. You were in love, and you’d both told each other as much. Tommy had given Joel shit for committing to a girlfriend without having sex, but Joel had told Tommy he could talk after he got an actual girlfriend, not hookups. Still, Tommy wanted to provide a good opportunity for Joel to fuck you the way Joel would want to. Sappy and romantic. So, when Sarah’s favorite band Halican Drops was coming to Housten, Tommy offered to pay for them to go and for a hotel. 
Joel had tried to protest, saying it was too expensive, saying he wasn’t sure he wanted Sarah that far away, and that he should just come, but Tommy smacked him on the head.
“Dumbass, I’m giving you a night with your girlfriend!”
When Tommy promised not to have a single drop of alcohol, text every hour, not let her stand by any men, call when they leave the venue and get to the hotel ETC, Joel allowed it to happen. Sarah was ECSTATIC, being the first concert she’d ever been to, and although a teeny bopper band wasn’t exactly on Tommy’s dream list, he was excited to be a cool uncle. Also, Joel needed to get laid. He was getting cranky at work.
The night itself was a lot of fun. Joel took you to a nice restaurant, and after you came back to his place and changed into more comfortable clothes, you’d spent the night watching American Idol. Joel was very critical.
As the night progressed, your nerves grew as you knew where the natural progression of the night would take you. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to fuck Joel; you really, really wanted to. And you weren’t nervous about him. You knew Joel would stop if you said stop. What you were nervous about was your body. Joel looked good, but he had a bit of a stomach himself so you didn’t think he’d be worried about your shape or small imperfections… Joel was a gentle soul, kind, loving. Yeah, that wasn’t the worry. The worry had been on your skin.
In the middle of winter, you’d managed to not show much skin around him, with jackets and long sleeves and pants… but it was inevitable. Joel had been a wonderful support to you these 4 months, holding your hand, listening to you when you cried. Slowly you opened up to him about the circumstances that meant you needed extra help, and he was everything you could ask for. 
But how would he react to this?
Joel had you laid out on the bed, both of you still dressed and his pajama covered pants grinding into your warm cunt. Joel sure liked to take his time. 
“We don’t gotta do noth’n, you know that right?” Joel muttered into your neck, drunk on you but still being respectful like the gentle man he was.
“I know”
He pulled back. “Then why’dya seem so nervous?”
You look up at him, wide eyed and nervous, but you needed this… you needed to tell him the truth. “Joel…”
He got off you, standing up at the edge of the bed. The massive, rock hard erection in his pants couldn’t have been comfortable, but his willingness to stop anyway meant a lot. It was a low bar but it was there.
“We can stop, I’m sorry-”
You sit up on your elbows. “It’s not you, it’s just um… I should tell you something before we start…”
“Okay.” He was few on words, but he looked receptive.
You weren’t sure how to do this, how to open up that conversation… so you decided just to show him. Lights still on, you begin to take off your shirt.
Joel tried to stop you. “Hey, hey, no, let’s talk.”
You smile at him. “We will, Joel, just… let me show you…” After the shirt was off, you slid off your pants and laid on the bed, spread out and close to naked in a bra and underwear.
“Jesus, darl’n…” Joel mumbled, taking in the sight before him. 
Scars littered your body.
It wasn’t a few, it was a lot, and the coverage was significant. Joel’s eyes roamed your body, cock softening quickly despite your near-nakedness and took in the expanse of the scaring. Your thighs were the most noticeable, pink slaves across your skin from the hips to mid-thigh. His hand reached out instinctively, but pulled back. You noticed.
Your voice was soft, reassuring. You knew he was confused and curious. “You can touch me, it’s okay.”
He does. Joel’s fingers a feather light across your skin, feeling the way the scars dipped and raised depending on severity. There there cuts, but also burn mark; small circles from cigarettes twisting up the patterns more. It was all over, reaching back to the curve of your ass. His eyes followed the trail up and the cuts became less in intensity and number, but never stopping over your hip bone and to your stomach. These were lighter; less that split open the skin but the silver lines were still raised over the belly fat as his fingers touched you. Your bra-line showed more burns, and he stopped short of the cloth. 
You take his hands and guide Joel to reach behind you to unclasp the bra, allowing him to pull it up and reveal your breasts. His eyes water as he sees the scars never stopped, marring your breasts, although not nearly the horrific amount on your thighs.
“I don’t understand…” He mumbles, sadness and distress clear in his eyes. “You did this to yourself?” Joel takes your hand in his, examining the scars making a ring around your wrist. He kissed the inside, eyes threatening to pool over.
You nod. “Yeah…”
His voice cracks. “But… why?”
“Sometimes…” You start, overcome with emotions at the clear pain on his face. He loved you so much, the thought of you in this much pain hurt him as well. “It was all I could do to cope.”
He didn’t seem like he understood, but he wasn’t judging you. He didn’t look at you like a freak like so many others did. He just knew he didn’t want you to feel this way again. 
“I havn’t done it in a while.” You give him a smile. “You make things easier. I mean, I’m still… yeah… but you do make things much better.” He did. Having someone who held you, listened to you, helped pick up the pieces… it wasn’t going to cure you, but it was amazing how much support helped with the addition of meds and therapy. 
Joel relaxed at that, a relieved and gentle smile on his face. “I’m glad, darl’n…” He held you hand to his face, chapped lips nuzzling against your damaged skin. “”M here to take care of you now, okay? I wanna help.”
“You do.” You assure him, pulling his face down to you again and taking his mouth in yours. “You mean so much to me Joel, you make me so happy…” His body covers yours once more, his warm encasing you as he protectively holds you.
“You’re safe with me.” Joel mutters against your mouth, fingers digging into your soft flesh.
You pull him closer to you, grinding yourself up against him, enticing him again. “Still want you tonight, please? I can’t wait any longer.” It’s had been a long 4 months and fuck, fuck you wanted him, badly. 
“Always gonna take care of you, princesa.” Joel grinds his jeans-clothed cock against the soft fabric of your underwear, making you shutter. “Gonna take care of my pretty girl, always.”
And god, did he.
Joel’s mouth was sloppy, wet, hot between your legs. His tongue fucked into your hole, prodding you open and his hips bucking against the bed. Insatiable. Arms locked around your legs, his nose nudged against your clit as it seemed he was trying push himself as strongly against your body as he could, to devour you, to bring you and him the most absolute pleasure he could.
You tug at his hair, soft waves in between your fingers as you draw him closer to you. Warmth pooling in your stomach, you felt that pressure grow with every moan, every vibration, every sluuuuuuuuuurp! of your juices, christ he was incredible. You felt elevated, devoted too and adorned in affection the way you had always wanted to be. He was everything in this moment. Joel’s tongue slid up in a swift swipe, mouth and that pouty lower lip latching onto your clit with his fingers pumped into you.
“JOEL! J-ohhhhhh” Your cry for his name melted into moans as you came on his mouth and fingers, crushing his head between thighs as your legs bent. The power of your orgasm caused you to tense and then melt into the bed. You give a low hum as he kisses your inner thighs. As you come to reality again, you register Joel’s sweet kisses all over your legs. He’s kissing the trail of your scars. Joel kisses over the scars on your right thigh and up the crease at your inner hip.
“What are you doing?” You mutter, never for a moment fully let go of his hair.
“Appreciating every inch of you.”
Joel kissed his way up your torso, over the scars under your tits and over the mounds. Latching onto your nipple, he swirled his tongue around the sensitive skin. You can feel him smile against your skin when your back arches off the bed.
“Fuck, Joel, your fucking mouth…” You whimper, and when his mouth lets go his hands never do. Softly, he touches you in all the scarred, squishy parts of you you were trained for so long to hate. 
He kissed you tenderly, gentle hands a contrast to his hungry mouth. That tongue, that goddamn tongue…
When he slides in, your eyes can’t help but roll back; your chest rises up against his broad expanse. He filled you so perfectly, fucking deep inside you and filling you up. You never felt so full. Your heart, your life, your stretched out cunt… every part of you was full and euphoric.
“My sweet, perfect girl…” Joel grunts as he pumps into you, hand braced against the headboard and towering over you. You gazed up at him, the yellow lighting of the ceiling fan created a halo around him. Joel looked positively angelic. 
Fitting, as he was your angel.
You were aware how he was perceived in his culésac. Joel was highly respected; kind, hard working if a bit disorganized. A good southern man who raised his brother and daughter well, helped the elderly neighbors, bailed his brother out of pinches and would use his truck to help anyone move. Yeah, people liked Joel. But they wouldn’t call him gentle, like how you feel his hands over your stomach. They wouldn’t call him soft like you felt his stomach against yours. They wouldn’t call him angelic, but that was all you could say as you came on his cock.
They certainly would not call him warm, but that was all you felt as you pulled out and sprayed ropes of cum on your stomach. 
You dozed off to sleep as he spread his cum around your scarred skin.
You vaguely register him cleaning you up, tired and content, and wait for him to join you again. His body felt perfect against your, fitting so well against your body like two puzzle pieces so close together. You had mumbled a request to be dressed, just in case Sarah and Tommy came home early, so you were both cuddled up in sweats under a thick blanket.
Everything with Joel felt safe and warm.
"Scars remind us where we've been. They don't have to dictate where we're going" -David Rossi, Criminal Minds.
******************
So, there we are. I'm very frustrated by the new bought of scars that are quite noticable that I have to wait to fade again but I refuse to be ashamed the way I used to. My scars are just scars from my trauma and illness. It's a moral failing of the people who have and continue to harm me, not mine.
Thank you all for reading, this was quite a venerable piece for me but I see a light at te end of the tunnel, and things will be getting better, I know it <3
@fandxmslxt69 @runa-falls @k-ra @ahookedheroespureheart @mikaelak @littlenosoul @stevenandmarcslove @pikapuff-316 @del-ightfulling @faretheeoscar @harriedandharassed @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @campingwiththecharmings @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @milly-louise @casa-boiardi @joeldjarin @mrs-oharaxx @pedge-page @readingiskeepingmegoing @survivingandenduring @yorksgirl
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sorcerous-caress · 13 days
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I'm so jealous of Daniil. Having only played the Haruspex route so far in both game, each time I'm invited to the Bachelor's place I turn green with envy at how he resides at an actual proper house with a real room and a real bed.
A real bed with a whole bedframe. A pillow with an actual pillowcase!! His bed even has sheets!
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He has WINDOWS. His house is in a nice neighbourhood, and his roommate is a very attractive woman. There is actual furniture in his room. Not one hint of fungus growing on the walls or rust!
Can you imagine living there as your lair? Spending the whole game knowing you have a real house with a real bed to go back to at the end of each night? Seeing Eva's face every day before leaving to do quests?
Meanwhile, Artemy is stuck in this dumpster room of an abandoned factory. Cuddling with rats on his makeshift bed, held by nothing but a wooden panel, some boxes and a dream.
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A pillow so yellow it has its own ecosystem where bugs established real estate. Is that even a pillow or is it some random rock Artemy found and chucked in there? Is it a stale loaf of bread?? Why is it hard looking?
But no, you don't even get to keep the rock roach pillow because in P2, they take it away.
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Fuck you Artemy, you had it good for too long. No pillow now because what are you gonna do about it?. Fold your mattress instead to have a resemblance of a faux sense of protection under your most vital organ during the long hours of death rehearsal that you call sleep.
Somehow, they made the bed even more unstable looking. As if that thin panel in the middle could hold Artemy's weight without caving in. Oh, and apparently, I ran out of boxes to use for furniture because the bed and the table have to share custody of the same box.
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We have downgraded into barrels now, as you can see :) No, I don't know what they used to contain inside.
Waking up every day to Sticky's snotty face telling me not to spit in the wind and nagging me about cleaning up the week-old human organs thrown around that are stinking up the place.
THERE IS MOLD GROWING ON MY WALLS. RUST FLAKES FALL FROM THE EXPOSED METAL PIPES DOWN INTO MY CEREAL EACH BREAKFAST.
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This single wall holds so much mold and fungus that they started crossbreeding and evolved into new, never seen before types of bacteria. Satan's asscrack is more hygienic than whatever biohazard plagues of Egypt this slab of concrete contains.
I live in the gutters. My only neighbours are an illegal gang of minors with a hatred for furries and another illegal gang but of adults this time who sell me bullets way above the market price. A dangerous neighbourhood where you can't have shit because SOMEONE STOLE MY BULL.
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The basement I reside in has no windows, the smell is pungent and fucking vile down here. There isn't even a space for a bathroom.
This is my kitchenette/bathroomette/showerette/cupboardette/surgery tools disinfection stationette/sinkette/watercoolerette/toilette/fridge.
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also my buckets yk.
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One bucket for the makeshift bathroom, another for holding important organs and loose guts during surgery, a third one as a cooking pot for making tasty meat grub soup and the final one for murky water after sweeping the floor.
What do I use to tell them apart? Oh nothing :) I just mix em up every now and then, oppsie daisy.
Oh and the floors are CONSTANTLY wet for some reason. Yeah sticky slipped and almost broke his neck the other day so watch your steps.
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There is also this eerie room with literal garbage and broken furniture right next to the entrance. Don't worry about it, sometimes I hear someone crying and screaming for help when I'm trying to go to sleep but it's just the factory being silly lol.
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Now this? This is where the M A G I C happens. This is where Artemy the Menkhu makes his famous herbal remedies and natural mixtures. This is where the Panacea for the infamous sand plague gets made!
In a rusty empty food can.
Falling into a bucket with shit stains.
MEDICINE BABBYYY. GET YOUR WEAK SOFT BONED ASS BACK TO THE CAPITAL BITCH, THIS IS HOW REAL MEN MAKE REAALLL MEDICINE!! RAWRRRRR🦅🦅💥💥
Meanwhile, dickovsky has the view of the cathedral and polyhedron just around the corner from where he resides. He has a backyard with a lake, and all I have is a swamp behind my basement. I trudge through the mud each night, collecting weeds and herbs to mix and trade so I and the two orphans who adopted themselves into my life don't go starving.
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Not to mention the gaggles of herb brides loitering outside and giving me a false bad reputation.
That dandy douchbag has a pharmacy, a grocery, and a tailor right next door. The closest establishment to my shrekcore place of resident is a dingy basement bar with shady drinks and no bouncer to check for ID, I saw two kids in there once.
Pov: a qt3.14 surgeon says his dad isn't home and invites you over.
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clonerightsagenda · 23 days
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May I ask what the 'no sex in space' rant is? Zero G sounds like fun :<
The space sex rant is my passion. Possibly because I have no emotional investment in the act so when it gets broken down into weird biology and mechanics by the cruel forces of physics, I find it kind of fascinating.
Sticking this below the cut because it will get long. My primary source is Packing for Mars by Mary Roach, but A City on Mars gets into the same issues. Yes, at least two books have entire chapters devoted to the space sex problem.
Note that this is all assuming microgravity. Many of the problems go away if you have artificial gravity, which we haven't cracked yet beyond building centrifuges. Your Star Trek fanfics are safe. So without further ado, and in no particular order, reasons why you probably shouldn't have sex in zero gravity and it probably wouldn't be that fun if you did:
The infamous 'no boners in space'. Since we're evolved to live in gravity, our bodies compensate for it by putting more effort into getting fluids above our heart. In microgravity, that's unnecessary, so you end up with fluid shift - more fluids, including blood, in the upper body. Your total blood volume also goes down. This would make an erection more difficult, and in fact most astronauts interviewed for whom this would be relevant claimed they didn't get any. The outlier here is Mike Mullane, but having read his memoir, he is the kind of guy who would lie about that. Now, as I touched on while despairingly liveblogging Barrayar, that does not prevent you from having a good time. However less blood flow would presumably mean less sensation in general for anyone below the belt. Or if you stimulated too much blood flow, with the lower total blood volume, perhaps that 'got dizzy because I got horny' joke will actually come true.
In microgravity, body heat and CO2 don't disperse the same way they do in regular atmosphere. Astronauts have to make sure they sleep in well-ventilated areas and are also trained on symptoms of CO2 poisoning. If multiple people are in an area exerting themselves, that buildup will happen faster and would need to be taken into account. It would be super embarrassing to suffocate crammed into a closet for some hanky panky.
The laws of motion are not your friend here. I've seen videos of astronauts pushing themselves across the room with a strand of hair. If you're trying to hold onto someone, you'd either want a relatively small space (maybe not a great idea, see point 2) or hold on really well. One astronaut Mary Roach interviewed suggested duct tape. Perhaps fuzzy handcuffs are critical here. Still you're going to need to put a lot of thought into every move you make.
Space is gross. :( Right now astronauts just wipe themselves down with clothes and dry shampoo. "Skin flakes" is a serious problem. Also we're still not entirely sure why, but astronauts develop awful body odor. According to Mary Roach again, while armpits are famous as a BO source, apparently the crotch is as well, it's just that those regions are typically further from our nose. So idk if anyone's going to want to get that close and personal with anyone else while they're up there. Then again I'm sure people have hooked up in grosser situations.
I'm probably forgetting some tidbits since I just woke up, but in summary, zero gravity sex would need to be carefully choreographed, require some equipment (fan, fasteners), and probably wouldn't even be as enjoyable as its Earthnorm counterpart. It's a good thing that's not what anyone's up there for.
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almondamaretto · 2 months
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hii i loved ur crossfaded story, do u think u could do some stoner matt bf hcs? 🫶🫶
YESSSSS omg girl u have good taste
i was looking for an excuse to write ts. also not proofread!! and not good because i was high!!
stoner!matt x afab!reader
warnings: use of weed, smut
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— ok lets get one thing straight, this man is one of those deep thought, random fact stoners that make you rethink everything about the world.
— "who decided that the alphabet was in alphabetical order? maybe we wanted e first, yknow?"
— always has at least one joint or the makings for one joint on him at all times. not as bad as chris who i would imagine carries around like 2-3 all the time.
— i would give anything to see this man rolling a fuckin joint.
— feels like an unpopular opinion i'm not sure, but he definitely thinks watching his girl roll one is hot. especially if you're not as experienced as him, yet still make an effort to try and impress him.
— if you're a stoner, he's buying you cute shit. cute papers, a cute grinder, lighters and stash boxes.
— is either non-verbal while high or actually yapping with no in between, but the simple truth his, he wants to be touching you at all times.
— imagine js sitting there, chatting his ear off, reflecting on your day n he's just staring, completely engrossed. meanwhile his fingers have been trailing up and down your thigh...
— or, he's running his mouth while taking a hold of your hand, leaving chaste kisses all over your hand, face, neck, and lips, only quiet whilst doing so.
— would def always be down to smoke w you, he could never say no to his sweet girl.
— loves to smoke in a group with his brothers, closest friends, and you cause he is a big quality time guy, but there is something so satisfying about being alone with you, watching the way you move through the haze filling the room.
— i think he would get more jealous while under the influence, you just look so good and he knows what every other guy is thinking.
— he is obviously very touchy and needy when he's high, but he also speaks in such an insatiable way, voicing all his dirty thoughts with no reserve.
— "and that's when- wow i can't shut up" "i could think of a few ways to shut you up."
— and you're gagged. figuratively and literally.
— one day, the friend group is at a party or some type of event. you and matt are nowhere to be found though, tucked away in some large room behind a locked door, the window cracked open.
— the roach of a used up joint was thrown onto the bedside table, hands now busy with pulling each other impossibly closer.
— he had pulled you up onto his lap, large hands gripping your ass as you pressed against his hard-on. your lips were quickly pressed together in sloppy kisses, your hands exploring his torso enthusiastically, his grazing up your sides and ass.
— "you were sittin' so pretty down there for me doll. did you really expect me to not pay attention?"
— he grumbles out while his lips ghost over your neck. you practically melt into his hands.
— chris came banging on the door, talking about something neither of you had interest in. matt never faltered in his movements, continue to squeeze your ass and nibble on your neck and chest.
— "matt!" "shh, stay quiet for me baby, he'll leave soon."
— when chris persists, he's groaning loudly and laying you gently on the bed, leaving a final kiss to your lips. he swings the door open to reveal only himself, blood-shot eyes and lip gloss smeared over his lips. his hair was jostled every which way, chest heaving slightly.
— chris just grins and shakes his head, mumbling something to matt that undoubtedly makes him roll his eyes.
— "nick and i wanna go to this other party madi's going to, you gotta drive us."
— he immediately refuses and goes to shut the door, but somehow chris convinces him with the reasoning of "less people means less chance someone tries to barge in."
— side note, you always get whichever seat you want and aux when matt's driving, it makes the other two go insane.
— mornings when you both don't have anything important to do or wake up a little earlier than usual, he wants to do two things.
— 1. wake and bake
— 2. morning sex.
— i mean seeing you first thing in the morning, getting high, and then fucking you dumb? thats his own personal heaven.
— it's doesn't take long for you to end up face down whimpering into a pillow while he drills into you from behind, senses heightened by the drug.
— he's struggling himself to keep quiet, opting to let out small grunts and whimpering into your ear, otherwise biting his lip to stay quiet.
— you fill all of his senses so well, your sounds sounding so heavenly to him, your walls squeezing him so well while he thrusts into your tight cunt.
— "doing so good for me mama, takin' me so well." he strains out as he gets close. you're both especially sensitive, highs coming all too soon.
so sorry if this is bad y'all 😭
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vintagesuga · 3 months
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☆Nicknames Skz call you
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tags: Ot8 x gn!reader. Fluffy, Pet names, established relationships, cute short little thing
summary: These are nicknames/pet names I think the members would call you. Enjoy!
a.n: This is the first work that I am posting on Tumblr so idk what I'm truly doing here. This is also cross-posted on Ao3 under the same username.
Chan:
I feel like he isn’t too big on using pet names, so he just calls you by your name
However, if he is feeling particularly lovesick, he calls you Sweetheart or Beautiful.
If he wants to tease, he calls you cheesy gross names like Pookie Bear or Apple of my eye
When you're going all ‘Mom mode’ (as the members like to call it) he calls you Boss Lady
You’re saved as ‘Love Bug’ in his phone
Minho:
Calls you Honey, Dear, or My love (and this is why the members think you’re married)
If he wants to tease you, he calls you Sweet Stuff or Honey Bunches
Said something very serious to you and ended it with ‘Suger pie honey bun’ and started cackling like a witch
Sometimes he is an absolute menace if you call him by a cute nickname, will not answer you
People get confused when they see ‘Mother to my children’ in his contacts
Changbin:
Very buff man of him to call you like Doll or Toots.
When he is serious, he loves to call you Sunshine, Buttercup, or Pumpkin, tho
Called you Dumpling once, and you absolutely melted, Hearts for eyes frfr.
Has and will call you Wifey when you go out, finds it hilarious
He has you saved as ‘Queen💅’
Hyunjin:
He calls you short stuff
Unlike Chan, he is being 100% serious when he calls you the Apple of my eye
For real, tho he probably calls you something like Love or Darling, something really romantic.
Jokingly suggested he call you My Treasure or Aphrodite, not expecting you to actually like those names
Saved as ‘My muse’ with a gross amount of emojis
Jisung:
He calls everyone Baby, and that includes you, too.
Probably shortens it to Babe and just interchanges them.
Schnookums or Pookie if he wants to be a little shit.
If he wants something from you, he tries calling you the Love of his life. You see right through him, tho so his trick never works.
Jokingly saved you as ‘Nutter Butter’ in his contacts and found it hilarious, so he just hasn’t changed it.
Felix:
Mans calls you a whole bakery. Cupcake, Pudding, Cutie Patootie, Sugar Pie. The whole 9 yards.
If it is sweet, in his eyes, you are that sweet
I feel like he just switches his pet names for you like every other day, so it is never the same one twice.
He once called you Bubs for about 3 weeks, tho; you absolutely loved it. Favorite nickname.
Has you saved as ‘Muffin🥰’
Seungmin:
Calls you like Cold French Fries or Roach, you know mean things. Catch him dead before he calls you cute nicknames.
Definitely, one to call you Trouble. Especially when you call him by cute nicknames
You know he is being difficult, but names like Chicken Nugget??? Those aren't endearing
When it's just the two of you, he calls you stuff like Hon or Darling
You’re saved as ‘My only one😒’ in his phone.
Jeongin:
I feel like he is also not one for pet names
Calls you Baby, but it's like rarely
If he really wants you to understand how much he loves you tho he calls you Angel or Precious
Called you something like Bestie once, and you didn’t speak to him for hours
Has you saved as ‘Number one cuddler🫶’
©️vintagesuga Do not repost.
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lunememes · 3 months
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🌙 * ― 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐒𝐀𝐈𝐃 𝐎𝐍 𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃 ( a collection of unhinged and relatable things said on discord. feel free to change wording as needed! do not add to the list. )
❛  you know bullying is my love language and you’re still here so… ❜ ❛  i mean... who am i to say no to that. ❜ ❛  hey, some might be into that. i won’t judge. much. ❜ ❛  we can both be dumb but pretty. ❜ ❛  because you wanna know why? fictional men can't disappoint me like real life men can. ❜ ❛ i need someone that’d end the world for me.  ❜ ❛ can’t be sad with dick / pussy. or nice tits.  ❜ ❛  thinking of how they're all old in this movie like wow i love dilfs and milfs. ❜ ❛  he fucking is like a ROACH, CAN'T EVER GET RID OF HIM. ❜ ❛  [name] do not encourage their antics, I BEG OF YOU. ❜ ❛  don't bully me, i'll cry. ❜ ❛  [name]..... why are you such a people pleaser. ❜ ❛  i am an indecisive bitch okay. ❜ ❛  don't squish his TUMMY! ❜ ❛  fair enough but what did you do dumb bitch? ❜ ❛ i have a flyswatter, i will smack him.  ❜ ❛  oh god yeah, add that motherfucker as well... the hate list grows. ❜ ❛  he gets no peace in any universe. ❜ ❛  if they get hurt, they get hurt. ❜ ❛  no love… there is no love in this house. ❜ ❛  truly, the braincells are not in my head. ❜ ❛ i wanna grab his waist. ❜ ❛  they just… need to fuck the anger out. ❜ ❛  could be worse but i'm judging. ❜ ❛ yes, oil me up baby.  ❜ ❛  don't you shush me. ❜ ❛  how dare you make me NOT distracted. ❜ ❛  i'm sure you've seen each other naked before, this is nothing new. ❜ ❛  suffer. ❜ ❛  i ... fucking THIEF. ❜ ❛  old men are just superior. ❜ ❛  sometimes people just deserve to be stabbed. ❜ ❛  bisexuals don't sit normally. ❜ ❛  i never said i was smart. ❜ ❛  what am i to say about this? want me to kiss your booboos better? ❜ ❛  JOKES ON YOU, I ACTUALLY DO, AHAHAHAHA. ❜ ❛  we both know you have a mask kink. ❜ ❛  kick him six feet under. ❜ ❛  to be fair i only killed those at the gate. ❜ ❛  well sooooorry, can't all be goody-two-shoes like [name]. ❜ ❛  i'm gonna murder you. ❜ ❛  it's because you're OLD. ❜ ❛  we're just ... too nice for our own good. ❜ ❛  and then you got sweaty [name] out here going batshit crazy and killing a whole building of people. ❜ ❛  we are in fact too dumb and yet here we are. ❜ ❛  actually i'm a liar, i'd let a lot of men get it. ❜ ❛  oOP NOT ME SEEING ANOTHER VIDEO/PICTURE AND I THINK HE'S FINGERING HER. ❜ ❛  he's adorable when he isn't being a gremlin and trying to randomly bite me. ❜ ❛  it’s in my contract of existing to bully everyone. ❜ ❛  well clearly you enjoy it since you’re still here. ❜ ❛  feeling a little called out? ❜ ❛  anything can be a dildo if you're brave enough. ❜
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