#roughly bc i hate math

[shellibisshe]

oc- emily l. parker

(template) (icons)

[shinekocreator]

It seems the Nimona fandom has decided that Ballister is god and the best at everything, and I'm here to fix that, so here's a list of things I think Ambrosius would be better at than (or on the same level as) Ballister (this is about the movie versions, feel free to add your own or argue in the reblogs):

Cooking 🍳: after he saw Ballister cooking for himself for the first time, Ambrosius took interest (it was also a major reality check for him. He started learning on his own and took some classes, primarily because he wanted to impress Ballister and feel like he was good enough for him. On their first date, Ambrosius took Ballister on a picnic, all the food was made by Ambrosius himself. He also partially learned how to cook BC of his allergy.

Socialising: he hates it, but he can do it, with Bal it's a problem of anxiety, with Amb it's a problem of will.

Botany 🌿, zoology 🐺, and psychology🧠: Bal has a better grip in biology, chemistry, maths, engineering, and physics, but when it comes to behaviour patterns, Amb is better (botany is because it's something Amb is extremely passionate about)

Which brings us to gardening 🧑‍🌾: partly because I want to believe that Amb still has some similarities to his comic counterpart.

Long range combat: Bal has hand to hand and short range combat in the bag, but in long range combat Ambrosius is better (he underperformed in some of his tests on purpose so they couldn't kick Ballister out)(that's also why they're the dream team). He's also better with long range weapons (archery and sniper guns)

Reading 📗: Bal and Amb have about the same level of reading comprehension, but Ambrosius can read slightly faster.

Kids 🧒: Amb and Bal have the same level of skill in handling kids, but when it comes to levels of popularity, the closer to the outskirts you are, the more popular Bal is and vice versa, the closer you are to the central city, the more popular Ambrosius is.

Dancing 💃: when it comes to the club, they have roughly the same dancing skills, but Amb isn't as shy, when it comes to partner dancing (ballroom and Latin) Amb is better.

Walk in heels 👠: Bal can do this, but still struggles a little when it's 4 inch heels or longer, Amb can handle high heels without even the slightest bit of a struggle.

Diplomacy: Bal has the ideas, Ambrosius does the talking.

Social media: I think this one is self explanatory, Ambrosius has a better hang on how social media works.

Humour 😂: Ambrosius is deemed objectively funnier because his humour is adaptive (his entire personality was perfectly curated to appeal to as many people as possible).

Now for the less safe for work

Drinking 🍸: I wanna believe Amb is slightly better at holding his alcohol, just because.

Kissing 💋: Amb is slightly more experienced, and communicative, while Bal is still learning what he prefers.

Bedroom 🛏️: see above mention. Bal and Amb were each other's first time, but Amb is better at communicating and is more flexible (he can switch positions easily, set the mood, dirty talk, dominate, submit, etc)

[learnyouabiology]

Fun Fact: Hagfish Suffocate their Predators with a Cloud of Slime!

(This week featuring my own art, bc I got a new thing and I wanna USE IT)

Sometimes, I come across an animal that makes me go: “Huh. That seems like a fictional monstrosity, fit only for tabletop roleplaying games and fantasy novels. Except I guess this one is real! Weird!”

 The hagfish is one of those animals.

Hagfish are quite spooky to behold: Rather than looking like a fish, hagfish look more like scaleless, leathery-skinned worms with little tentacle-like things called barbells around what appears to be their mouth.

Except the polite little opening that you can see in the drawing above is not its mouth. That’s its nostril.

This is its mouth:

**SCREAM**

(ok that’s technically a tongue that has teeth on it, but it’s mouth-adjacent so I STAND BY MY STATEMENT). (drawing based on this picture from this paper)

THIS IS THE STUFF THAT NIGHTMARES ARE MADE OF (and I, for one, love it!)

You don’t need to worry too much about the hagfish’s nightmare mouth, though, since hagfish are pretty much only interested in eating things that are already dead (except maybe a few fish, so if you’re a fish, watch out, I guess). 

Plus, they can go more than 6 months without eating and can survive without oxygen for 36 hours, so that’s nice.

(it’s hard to tell, but this is 2 hagfish eating a dead rockfish, plus a third hagfish possibly taking a nap. They’re having a lovely time!) 

 These guys love a good whale carcass.

Hagfish are a type of jawless fish which are categorised into the class Myxini. They are the only known animals with a skull but no vertebral column and possess 4 “hearts”: a systemic heart in the usual place, a portal heart that’s beside the 1st heart, a cardinal heart in the head, and a caudal heart near the tail. Technically, only the first 2 are considered “true hearts”, but Whatever!  x

All of these things are very strange and wonderful, but the weirdest thing about hagfish, in my opinion, is possibly their most distinct feature.

They possess weaponized slime.

Remember that time a bunch of hagfish stole a car were dumped onto a highway in 2017? Everyone (human) was fine, but the slime was REAL (source: x). 

This slimey car crash occurred because hagfish excrete slime when disturbed (they caused the slime part, I mean. The crash itself was something else’s fault). Considering the fact that a single hagfish can excrete a maximum of 24 litres of slime (given ideal circumstances) and that there were roughly *checks notes* 13′000 hagfish in the truck, you could end up with around *does some math*... 312’000 litres of slime!

For reference, that’s equivalent to approximately 1’560 bathtubs full of slime. 

(my rough math can be found at the bottom of the post, if you’re curious).

That said, this crash probably didn’t feature 312′000 litres of actual slime. What the hagfish excretes is a relatively small amount of a substance which is a combination of mucus and long, thin proteins reminiscent of super-fine silk threads.

When this substance is mixed with water, it immediately expands 10′000 times its original volume!

The resulting slime is 99.996% water (source x). So, unless the truck was also carrying 312′000 litres of water to transport the hagfish in (which is doubtful), the slime probably wouldn’t have been able to reach that volume. (assuming they didn’t try to clean the mess up with water, which is... fully possible)

For my favourite demonstration of this, here’s an (admittedly old & grainy) video of someone transforming a beaker of water into a beaker of slime using a itty bit of mucus scraped from a hagfish.

(it’s cooler in the video, tbh)

What is all this slime even for? Well, mostly to protect the hagfish from predators! 

Imagine if you bit into a sandwich and then 24 litres of slime suddenly exploded into your mouth. That would suck. A lot. You probably wouldn’t even finish the sandwich! Probably. I don’t know your life.

Understandably, predatory fish also hate to have a mouthful of slime, except it’s even worse for them, because the slime quickly gets tangled in the fish’s gills, which are important for gas exchange (aka being alive). It is for this reason that hagfish generally don’t get eaten, it seems!

(Ha! That’ll teach you to try to eat in the ocean! i love this paper tbh) 

As far as I have been able to research, there are no recorded instances of hagfish being  successfully eaten in the wild (though we have seen predators make unsuccessful attempts, resulting in them having an extremely bad time!)

(Thriving. Moisturised. In their lane. x)

While the slime sticks to the predator, the hagfish has an easy way to get the slime off its own body: they simply tie themself into a knot, wiping away the slime, and then goes about their day, unphased.

This has been Fun Fact Friday, bringing you nightmare fuel in this, the fine season of Halloween!

I know that it’s September, but if the dollar store can say that it’s already Halloween season THEN SO CAN I DANG NABBIT.

(bonus of that fish getting pwned, just bc I LOVE those pictures:

(Corrected) math under the cut:

3′400kg of hagfish in the truck (source)

each adult hagfish is around 180-260g (source)

3′400 kg/0.260 kg = ~13′000 hagfish

one hagfish can produce “a teaspoon” of slime (~5 mL), which can expand “10′000 times” its original size when it hits water (~50′000 mL -> 50 L) (source)

This^ is wrong! It’s actually 24 L, max (new source x)

one average bathtub can hold ~200 L of water (source)

(24 L x 13′000 hagfish) / 200 L = 1’560 bathtubs

[hopelesslyromanticshark]

Dear Covey, (31/03/2024)

Hiya, completely forgot to say thank you for the reply on the chronically ill/disabled reader yesterday! Brain fog has been frying my thoughts this last week 😭

But thank you so much and I’ll make sure to be really detailed whenever you decide to open your requests again (no rush!! You and your happiness/health are way more important than your writing!) if you have any questions when that time comes I’ll be happy to answer them 🫶

I love seeing three other people say about their own experiences and I could give my own perspective on really anything for the illnesses I have/chest ports if you need it (saw someone else say about POTS and chest ports and was shocked at the fact I might have an illness twin somewhere out there 😭) but of course please do not rush yourself to open requests when you aren’t ready!!! The amount of fics/requests you have is mental but is reflecting how good you are as a writer 🫶

Anyway, how’s your day been so far? I don’t know the time difference between the UK and California (probably around 6/7 hours I would think but it’s roughly 20 to 10 at night where I am right now so you could probably tell me what the actual difference is)

Been a busy day here despite it being the Easter holidays, I go on study leave for my exams when I go back to school so I’m studying already which is no fun 🙁

Lots of love,

🎞️ <3

of course!! im glad your able to find people you can relate to or talk about similar problems with!! never thought my blog would become a hub for you guys to meet, but that's pretty cool to me!!

ive just kinda spent my day cleaning bc my room desperately needed it, stressing about spanish hw i should do but im not gonna lmao im on spring break god damn it. it's currently 1:49 over here and i would try to do the math but i hate math so someone else figure it out. ugh i hate studying bc as a kid really didn't need to and know i kinda dont know how but ive kinda created a system over the last year. so it's all good!!

hope youre day gets better and less busy!!

[fighterkimburgess]

idt they slept 2gether in 7x19/7x20. the every 6 months or so is prob abt last time they slept 2gether b4 she got pregs. wk they slept 2gether in 7x04 & maybe more after that bc adam told kevin “we hung out a couple of times” & wdk how much time pass each eps. 7x19/7x20 they were both still sad abt miscarriage & wouldnt want to risk getting pregs again. kim said to adam “dont wk better than this” in 8x05 bc last time she got pregs. she wouldnt have said that if they slept 2gether in 7x19/7x20.

So I did the maths on this timeline, because I am an idiot and ridiculous in the best way. Here’s as close as I can get to an approximate timeline between 7x04 and 8x05. Again, this is the Chicago verse and they hate good timelines but here we go.

7x04 - sometime roughly early September. It’s still warm enough for tailgating in Chicago, and that football season started September 5th that year. The Bears played at home on September 15th to the Broncos, which would fit right around when we know this would have kicked off. It was also their first home game of the season, explaining tailgating. The crossover ran the space of three days I think? Based on people changing clothes? So Kim and Adam slept together some time around the 18th/19th

7x05 - picks up nearly immediately because in Adam and Kevin’s conversation about the coffee you cannot tell me that Adam Ruzek is not stride of priding through work. I’m sorry, you can’t. The man is oozing “just got laid”.

7x08 - Kim finds out she’s pregnant. She’s told she’s about four weeks, which puts this at the end of September/start of October. Pregnancy is counted from the date of your last period, so four weeks pregnant tends to mean it’s two weeks since conception. Considering the way it’s gotten visibly colder in the “Jay’s missing” episode, I’d go with first week of October.

7x11 - Kim’s had the first sonogram, and judging from the sonogram images we’re hitting right around nine, ten weeks of pregnancy, so mid November and two months since they slept together.

7x13 - Kim says the baby’s the size of a naval orange. According to thebump.com (yeah, I know, but this is the sources I’ve got), a foetus is the size of a naval orange at around fifteen weeks, putting us at the start of January or so. Which makes sense based on the weather, and that Kim isn’t looking as exhausted as before. We know from 8x13 that she really struggled with morning sickness, and generally around week 12/13/14 is when that stops.

7x15 - we can fairly firmly place this to early/mid February. The weather, the fact that Kim’s back in work and her visible injuries are healed, she’s been gone for about a month. Plus the way she and Adam have the fight? He’s been working and attempting to cope, but she’s been at home thinking.

7x16 - the hockey tickets. This doesn’t definitively place everything, but it’s probably coming into what would have been the tail end of the season, I’m comfortable marking this as late February/early March (from here the pandemic is fucking up my timelines but they treated the season like the end happened in April so I’m doing that too)

8x03 - this is roughly November/December, we can see it based on the Christmas decorations in the back of the upstead kiss. Adam says they go to the same bars, they don’t see anyone, they don’t date anyone, so I’m pretty comfortable saying they slept together at least once while they were covid bubbling. They both ostensibly live alone, it made sense to bubble together.

8x05 - I’m calling this for January. There’s no Christmas stuff up, it’s clearly cold out, and even without the snow you can tell it’s chilly. We know it’s about a month since Makayla’s cousins took custody too.

In 8x05 Kim says “so is this part of our relationship now? We’re accepting that every six months or so we sleep together?” It’s been at least eighteen months since they slept together in 7x04. It’s nearly a year since she lost the baby. Kim Burgess isn’t going to say “every six months or so” if it’s not at the very least a pattern. Maybe it wasn’t around 7x19/20, but they definitely did sleep together at least once between then and 8x05, and I will say that till the end.

[kazewhara]

college au kazuha who...

...is a creative writing major bc i make the rules around here. (also bc i'm a creative writing major <3)

...wears glasses to read!

...gets so invested in the books he reads that he won't pay attention to his glasses slipping off his face

...has a focus in poetry, so rather than spend his time writing books, he dedicates most of his time studying the history of poets, playwrights, and bards alike; that sort of thing

...is a huge shakespeare nerd. he will quote shakespeare off the top of his head, and no, you cannot stop him

...has a little library in his apartment! so many bookshelves filled with texts from all walks of life -- new ones, old ones, hand-me-downs, etc.

...wears cardigans that are always just a little too big? not to the point where you can't see his hands, but the sleeves end roughly at the center of his palms

...embodies the light academia aesthetic. iykyk.

...cannot stand bitter coffee. he'll default to tea most of the time, but if coffee is the only option, it has to be 90% sugar... the madman.

...has a habit of peering up at you over the rim of his glasses and smiling before returning his focus on whatever he's doing.

...can and will entertain any literary discussion that comes up. he may be poetry-centered, but kazuha is very well-versed in just about everything literature related. a true liberal arts major, this one is.

...will fall asleep reading books with his cheek in his palm, and will adamantly deny that he's falling asleep when you catch him.

...cannot do math to save his life. well, he can, and he's really good at it, but he hates it.

bonus:

"you're going to hurt your eyes if you keep wearing my glasses like that, angel." kazuha chuckles when you make a face as you hover his glasses over your eyes. "they're really not all that fascinating, i can assure you."

you slip his glasses on your face and blink rapidly, stunned by how strong the prescription is. "jesus christ, you didn't tell me you were blind!" you exclaim. you feel around for kazuha to make sure you're not too far away from him. it's incredibly dramatic on your part; you two are sitting right next to each other. "this is 'cause you read those tiny letters all the time, isn't it?"

kazuha rolls his eyes fondly. "sure, something like that. now, may i have them back? i have to finish my assignment."

you shake your head. "wait, wait, i wanna see what you see for a while." your boyfriend sighs and plucks his glasses off your face, huffing a laugh when you whine. "you're no fun."

kazuha slips his glasses on and looks you over a few times before hooking a finger under your chin and kissing you lovingly, silencing your complaints. you're shocked, but you soften anyways.

"not that i'm complaining," you murmur when he pulls away, "but what was that for?"

rather than answer you, kazuha kisses you again, swallowing the little noises of surprise you make whenever he tugs at your bottom lip. he pulls away after a while and gives you another once over with a small, yet incredibly smug, smile.

"if only you could see what i see." his words are cryptic and offer no explanation. he doesn't even answer your question from earlier. kazuha ignores your demand for an answer and chuckles when you reluctantly get back to work.

every so often, he'll look up to find you already gazing at him, and he'll never get over the way his heart skips when you avert your eyes when you realize you've been caught.

[pacifymebby]

Hope it’s okay to just kinda rant a little here but UGH so sick of seeing middle aged men especially who back in the day say they had a house at like 23 or something bc they knew what they wanted to do and ‘worked hard’ and they ‘contribute’ to do it like I know I sound pathetic but as someone who struggled w anxiety around a lot of people in my teens and I mean, I still do to an extent in stressful situations I had legit breakdowns a lot when in retail situations so I wouldn’t like pursue that anymore and then I had no idea what to do until like last year so idk i also had like stress eat or not eat and feel super faint or something when in those situations and idk I am just so exhausted hearing people say like ohhh yeah well I knew so everyone should go ahead and do it jsjsjsjdj

NO FOR REAL THOUGH Im glad someone ranted about this!!!!!

I honestly fucking hate how people make out its as simple as working hard.

First of all, do they know even one thing about the exploitative capitalist system we currently live in? 0 hour, minimum wage culture means people can't ever save enough money to leave their shitty jobs, they have no leverage at all, some companies litterally make it impossible to unionise. Working hard no longer = climbing the social ladder.

It didn't really mean it in the 90s but it meant it far more than it does now.

There are jobs which require doctorates which only pay £19,000 a year.

The thing that gets me most about this is that in the 90s when my parents saved for their first house, my mum had no a levels, hadn't been to uni, my dad barely had gcse's. To do my mums job in 2022 you need a good degree. To do my dad's job ur looking at a poorly paid apprenticeship (I've seen apprenticeships pay like £3 an hour these days).

Their combined income was like £40,000 a year. The deposit they had to put down on their house was £3000.

Now, in 2022 I'm more qualified than both my parents but I can't get a job that isn't minimum wage paid hourly. B has been looking at salaried jobs, he has a masters degree, hes looking at a £19,000 a year salary.

I am on roughly £13,000 a year.

If we want to put a deposit down on a flat (A FLAT) it will be like £8,000 - 10,000.

I'm not much of a maths person but I know for a fact that proves me and B who work really fucking hard, are far worse off than my parents were in the 90s.

The average income in the UK is somet between 20 and 25k a year. The cost of living is rising sharply, taxes are rising sharply (but our public services are shrinking drastically), house prices are going up, the economy is supposedly growing, but wages are stagnating. Its getting harder and harder to rent, landlords are parasites, it's impossible to save for a house when youre renting but most people have to move out their parents homes because their parents now live in inustryless husks where there are no jobs thanks to, guess who, you got it, thatcher and every tory that's ever looked up to her since.

1 in 5 people in the UK live in poverty. Most of those people are in what we call working poverty. That means they are WORKING but they still can't afford to live. Teachers, nurses, social care workers are reliant in food banks.

Anyone and I mean anyone who tries to tell me that all you need to do these days to buy a house is work hard.

I work really fucking hard thank you very fucking much.

[neverdoingmuch]

now hear me out,,, an au where lan wangji is an editor who works for an erotica publisher and wei wuxian is essentially chuck tingle. (also lwj writes romance novels on the side)

wei wuxian didn’t plan to write erotica he wants to make that really clear, he was actually studying like biomed or something equally “oh wow my parents can brag to the other parents about this”

but, as frequently happens in wwx’s life, he got drunk with nhs, like really drunk and they woke up the next morning with a laptop on the floor beside them and loose paper strewn everywhere

they don’t really remember what they were doing or thinking last night but they’ve both drawn a bunch of really shitty and weird porn (the less said about the anthropomorphic version of wen chao’s pet turtle the better) and wei wuxian has like 20,000 words of an erotica story on his laptop

when he starts reading it, at first he’s like haha what the fuck this is so weird but then it turned out to be really good??? and nhs blushed at some of the ~sexy~ scenes so that’s how wwx knew he was writing the good stuff

anyway they’re sitting there, eating their hangover food and wei wuxian goes so uh my story was good right? and nhs is like yeah it was, top stuff i would buy it and wei wuxian goes what if i actually wrote it,,, haha just kidding,,,,, unless?

and in his defence he doesn’t actually write anything for the story for another like three months but then he finds himself in the middle of exam season and he’s like fuck it stress relief let’s write some erotica

he finishes the book and his exams (which he does well in but whatever) and then spends his summer holidays editing the book

when he comes back, he slaps down a paper copy on nhs’ desk and is like i finished it. nhs, thinking he meant his latest lab write up, opens it up to a random page and starts reading it out loud which was a Mistake

he trails off mid-sentence, and whips around to glare at wwx with all the wrath he can muster. it’s raunchy nhs says and just read it wwx tells him so nhs does

like 2 hours later nhs turns to him and says if it wasnt for you and the librarian staring at me the whole time i definitely would’ve felt something and wwx is like so it’s good? and nhs is like fuck yeah it is but i dont get what you want from me?

pretty much wwx passed out after exams, slept for like 20 hours and then woke up and went i should publish this and decided that nhs should draw the cover art.

nhs agrees of course and a month later wwx self-publishes bc there’s no way he can walk into a publishing house with his porn and not just combust on the spot and he decides to go by the name yiling patriarch

wwx clicks the final button to upload the fic and nhs just toasts him and goes yknow what,, this is the closest you’ve ever gotten to having sex and i’m proud of you

wei wuxian is the man who guarded his first kiss for the first twenty years of his life for someone special,,,, wwx definitely wants his first time to be special and there’s no way he’s putting out for someone he doesn’t think is important & despite having dated before, he’s never gotten close enough to someone to go yeah let’s do it so our boy is still a virgin

so wwx’s entire erotica writing inspiration comes from porn, nhs’ way too in-depth answers as to how his latest date went and uh more porn

wwx blusters about a bit bc how is he meant to respond to that and nhs is like maybe you’ll finally move on from reading those trashy romance novels and read something more exciting and wwx is like how dare you call them trashy!! hanguang-jun is a master of the romance novels!! he understands the heart in a way that no other person has ever!! 

and nhs just chugs a bunch of wine and is like yeah hon okay, do you still blush when the main characters hold hands? and wwx is like no! of course not! (it’s a lie, he blushes a lot)

so nothing really happens with the book at first and wwx forgets about it for the most part but then he wakes up one morning and he’s got an extra like RMB 1000 (i dont actually know much about currency so it’s roughly $200 if my quick interneting is legit)

wwx is like wtf? and once he finds out it’s from his novel he’s doubly like wtf? but then he finds out that someone had purchased his book and did a dramatic reading on youtube bc wwx decided that regular erotica was boring and decided to make it satirical or whatever and people loved it??

he’s got nothing better to do so he just goes hm yeah remember that Author i dated who had an “incredible idea that would absolutely amaze The Critics and helped explore his own convoluted mind” let’s make something of that and he writes another book kinda mocking that idea in a very horny way.

he publishes it and someone writes a review of his two books on their blog and now he’s actually starting to get popular - he’s got more money from those two books than he did by working at the local cafe for the whole week

wwx is poor and broke and semi-disowned anyway by this point so he goes fuck it and spends every moment he’s not studying writing erotica. 

he publishes another like five books by the time the year is out (i know the maths isnt working here but this is a book world where wwx can just do that via the power of loneliness and friends who egg you on)

also?? he varies his books. some of them are porn parody things a la chuck tingle and some of them are genuine porn and one book was just him writing a recipe book but making it sound as horny as possible

by the time he’s published his like 8th book or so he starts getting reviews that are critiquing his book and most of them boil down to the fact that he needs an editor or something 

he ends up asking nhs for help and he’s like oh sweet my brother’s boyfriend works for a publisher who does that sort of thing

cloud recesses actually specialises in erotica and i hate the idea that lqr has spent years reading and editing erotica but sacrifices must be made

(side note that i know nothing about the writing or publishing process so pls don’t judge me too harshly)

wwx goes in with his latest manuscript and ends up arriving like ten minutes late, he rushes into the room sweaty and hot, takes one look at the guy sitting on the other side of the desk, flushes an even brighter red and runs back out of the room. he checks the plaque on the door and walks back in slowly and goes hm i didnt expect you to be so hot

cue lan wangji

lwj has always enjoyed being an editor. what do editor do specifically? idk? edit? regardless, he enjoys it. 

while most of the time he’s happy working from this side of things he also likes writing

lwj fucks. he deserves it tbh. but, while he’s had a tonne of one night stands and fuckbuddies, he’s never actually dated someone. so the fact that he’s writing romance novels under the pseudonym hanguang-jun makes his friend jzx laugh a lot

he tried writing porn once and he just couldn’t do it. it was always too clinical or vague and lacked any actual passion bc he was always going oh okay mc sucks a dick but the guy i slept with last week was like a 6.4/10 when it came to sucking dick so maybe mc should also be bad at it or whatever and it just ends up falling apart,,,, but romance he can do

as an editor lwj has pretty high standards for good erotica but he’s really found himself enjoying yiling patriarch’s work even though he’s clearly just been editing himself so when the guy sent cloud recesses an email asking whether they’d be interested in his latest book lwj was ecstatic. 

he also didnt expect wwx to be so hot

anyway,,, we now get to enjoy a week of lwj thinking that wwx is super hot but even more annoying and then him deciding that annoying is hot and now wwx is just absolutely amazing and wwx is just panicking the entire time 

i want my publisher to rail me so hard wwx texts nhs and nhs just responds has he read the bdsm scene with the alien who has a tentacle dick and a knot yet? and wwx is like no??? nhs just goes shame, it will give him so ideas for if you ever grow a backbone and just ask him out

they publish one book together and nothing happened between them the entire time other than yearning and horniness,, of the heart and body. 

when wwx realises this means that he won’t get to see lwj again he immediately writes a new book and like a month later he’s back in lwj’s office, lying on his couch while whining about the cafeteria prices at university

lwj is very enamoured by the fact that wwx is writing erotica and studying biomed bc wow

they do this for like another three books and wwx’s eroticas evolve from here’s a dinosaur man fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on to be like here’s a dinosaur man with black hair and golden eyes and a stern look to his face fucking a politician while a mary sue watches on

and hanguang-jun’s latest book?? i dont want to say that this au’s version of wangxian is hanguang-jun finally finding inspiration to write porn (his muse is wwx of course) and writing the most amazing porn with feelings and plot novel ever,, but it is. 

wwx read it five times in the first week and when nhs finally tried to read it he was like uhhh wwx are you a narcissist, the love interest is exactly like you? and wwx is like ??? no???? he’s nothing like me??

anyway one day wwx gets called into lxc’s office and lxc is like so i’ve read your latest book (not the dinosaur man, a serious one with like normal people and not overly humorous thank fuck but still full of lwj yearning) and wwx is like okay? and lxc goes yes, see i was worried that you didn’t care very much for my brother but after reading your book i’m not so sure and wwx gets the weirdest shovel talk ever which is interspersed with like compliments for his porn writing skills

anyway lxc accidentally mentions that lwj writes books too and before he can take it back wwx is like who??? and lxc is like are you fucking stupid?? you told lwj to his face that you loved his books,,, he broke his theme of tender romance to write kinky sex with a character that’s a lot like you and wwx is like .,,,,,,,,, hanguang-jun??? HANGUANG-JUN???!!

lxc barely manages to confirm it before wwx is sprinting out of his office and across to find lwj.

regretfully for everyone else, lwj is in the lobby so thirty people get to hear it when wwx comes in and shouts LAN ZHAN!! back then, i really wanted write porn about you! ... i think i have actually? but i want to write porn about you and i want to be able to do the research to make it accurate! and i also want to go on dates and hold hands and feed each other food! and i love you a lot! 

lwj is dying inside bc his brother’s bf is there, his uncle is currently waiting for the elevators and a whole bunch of staff are also there but also wwx likes him??? dinosaur man was lwj??

he goes over and they make out for a really long time right there in the middle of the lobby but no one wants to get between them when they’ve been pining for so long

after that they start dating and they do all the romantic stuff but also,, let’s just say that the next book wwx publishes is a lot more creative than all of his previous books

and they become some writing power couple with horniness of the heart and body and sometimes wwx will be like hey lwj i don’t really know how the logistics of this sex scene will work and lwj will be like we could try it out ourselves? and wwx just pats him on the head and is like im sorry but you dont have enough dicks for it to work ),: better luck next time

[strangetorpedos]

12, 15, 19 for the book asks!

thank you!

12. did you enjoy any compulsory high school readings?

yes!! the one that comes immediately to head is the play arcadia by tom stoppard. i hated it the first time i read it bc it’s kind of confusing (switching from time periods, lots of math/science concepts) but since it’s a play, i reread it a couple of times throughout the unit and slowly became absolutely obsessed with & in love with it. also macbeth, which i think is my favorite shakespeare play that i’ve read to date (though i haven’t read a ton lol)

15. recommend & review a book

okay technically a series, but the wayward children series by seanan mcguire!! it’s a series of novellas with currently 7 books, and it’s light portal fantasy about kids who got sucked into magical worlds and then returned to the “real world” and are now adjusting, and are sent to eleanor west’s home for wayward children. the first book, every heart a doorway, follow (roughly) a murder mystery, and the books take place either at this school or following one of the kids’ adventures in their magical world. this series is SO good and i love the social commentary that’s put in it; the teenagers feel very realistic & the settings are all so fun & different. especially if you’re looking to get in/get back into reading i think these books are a great way to do that

19. most disliked popular books?

normal people by sally rooney :/ i like dark books a lot but this one just felt bleak with no reason to be bleak other than to be edgy/contrarian. the characters weren’t compelling at all and i could not get behind her writing style

send me book asks!

[dannyphantom-rewrite]

Character redesign references: Danny, Sam and Tucker .

(Art by the wonderful @gally-hin-phantom / @gally-hin ) click/tap image for higher resolution.

This is way overdue!! Sorry for the delay!

Danny

Full name: Daniel A.Jax Fenton

-Yes his middle name is A.jax and it's entirely bc of this post and this post .

-Danny is Trans, (note the cute bracelet!) having officially transitioned over the summer between middle school and his freshman year.

-Danny is still fourteen, and is the youngest, as well as the shortest out of the trio.

-12 ounces of whoop ass, snark and anxiety. Also puns. Dear God, the puns....

-hobbies include: Astronomy, astrology, D.O.O.M and horror movies.

-Astronmy is more of a hyperfixation tbh.

-Proficient in gymnastics, having taken classes from ages 6-12, and participated in jr. cheer-leading throughout some of middle school as a flyer. Actually used to be friends with dash and paulina.

-Favorite classes involve Science and Mathematics, he’s good at understanding difficult concepts when he can pay attention. Absolutely awful at reading comprehension.

-His style hasn't changed all that much; he absolutely lives in graphic tees, jeans and sneakers. He usually wears the hoodie to cover up the litchenburg figure scars he received from the accident.

-The Accident occurred roughly a week or so before the start of his freshman year at Casper High. 

-Much of how Danny got ghost powers remains in line with the established canon, with Sam urging him to investigate the ghost zone portal, and his getting caught and electrocuted within the frame after accidentally turning it on. 

-Sam didn't have to do very much convincing though, Danny's definitely a lot more interested in his parents work that in cannon, even if they can be super embarrassing about it a lot of the time.

-And this is the point where I break off from that canon: but I'm going to make a seperate post for detailing Danny's ghost half / Phantom.

Sam

Full name: Samantha Nicole Manson

-Sam isn't an Amity park native, she moves into town over the summer after getting expelled from a fancy private school and finishing the year out online/ at home.

-At 15 years old, She's the oldest out of the three of them- having gotten held back a school year at some point for "behavioral issues"

-Sam's personality is still very much in line with her cannon counter part, although while she may still be stubborn to a fault, she knows when to admit she's wrong.

-Her revised style is really more punk, than goth.

-Sam's family is still pretty well off, as her father is the Owner of "Manson refrigerators" which has had a long-standing partnership with Dairy-King Co.

-She doesn't have a great relationship with either of her parents- they view her as out of control while she feels that they're too controling. Her grandmother is a constant mediator between the three of them.

-she's a vegetarian, she won't eat meat, but ethically sourced eggs and dairy is fair game.

-Pan-romantic Asexual.

-hobbies include: Cooking, Gardening, urban exploration, social activism, Anime, horror films and novels, and D.O.OM.

-She meets Danny over the summer at the movie theater during a horror flick marathon. After talking with him for a while, she's intrigued when Danny explains what it is his parents do. Being equally shocked that she doesn't immediately dismiss their work and call him a freak, he invites her over to see the portal...

Tucker

Full name: Tucker Foley

-Meet Danny in kindergarten, and the two of them have been pretty much inseparable ever since. He's only older than Danny by about a month.

-Was the first person that Danny came out to.

-Bisexual

-Dated Danny VERY briefly (like, a week) in middle school, which, unfortunately leads to a lot of people assuming they're still a "thing" (it's annoying but I has absolutely gotten them out of a few sticky situations *cough* fake out make out *cough*

-Not really a fan of sam at first. Tuck Actually feels somewhat threatened by her in the beginning beacuse for the longest time it's been JUST him and Danny, the dynamic duo. He gets worried that Danny'll stop hanging out with him because Sam is just SO much cooler. (These worries are completely unfounded, of course.)

-Still a tech wiz, same as in cannon. Even though I've decided I'm going to set the rewrite in the early 2000's, there's gonna be more "modern" technology. (bc I love the fact that Jack, Vlad and Maddie were in college in the 80's and also don't feel like doing math to adjust the timeline) Tucker probably still has at least one PDA somewhere cause hey, vintage shits kinda cool! But it's definitely not gonna be his go to device anymore.

-Tucker has an issue with iron deficiency...hence, an increase of red meat in his diet. The "meat vs veggies" debate is absolutely a heated issue between him and sam, although after a while it settles into friendly banter rather than lengthy arguments that have Danny pulling out his hair at the lunch table.

-Tucker hates the horror genre, cause he's a freaking wuss, lmao. But he lets Sam and Danny drag him out to see movies anyway.

-Tucker's hobbies include tinkering, computer games, (including but not limited to D.O.O.M) coding and yarn crafts.

-His grandmother taught him to crochet when he would visit her in the hospital, Tucker Actually made his beanie himself.

-Danny's the only one who knows about that though because he doesn't want to be teased for liking something "girly"

-He still has a phobia of hospitals. Watching has grandma slowly deteriorating in one is what caused it.

I think I've covered everything, but odds are I'll be adding onto this at some point.

Next post will probably cover Danny's ghost half in depth!

(on a final side note, if anyone is interested in drawing character refs for this project, dm me! I can compensate with a fic based on prompt of your choice, or if you have set commission rates, $$$)

[fbfh]

three infinites and a reunion - sirius black x reader (gn)

pairing: sirius black x gn reader

wc: 1.2k

genre: ooh boy some hurt/comfort, moderate angst but it’s justified and quickly resolved, some trauma but what’s to be expected lol

warnings: spoilers for prisoner of azkaban sort of but most of it’s kind of common knowledge at this point, some fucks and other brief swears, post azkaban but the timeline is weird don’t come for me, reader is shaking cause of emotionally intense situation, mentions of bad mental health bc you know... dementors.... and uh, brief mentions of small stress induced weight loss (some promenent bones), sirius is king of consent, “you must be starving” then y’all eat some food, you get really fuckin determined to protect him who wouldn’t

summary: Holding out faith sometimes works out for the best, especially when the condemned love of your life is suddenly right in front of you, embracing you on the floor of your laundry room.  

requested: no i just have dogman brain rot

song I listened to while writing this: snow - ricky montgomery, the shipped gold standard - fall out boy, golden days - panic at the disco (bc it makes me think of marauders era in general lol)

a/n: as I have stated before I don’t know how numbers work or how to do basic math so I fucked with the timeline a little which should boil down to this: sirius was in az*aban for two years before he escaped making him around 23, while harry is maybe 3 or 4, don’t come for me if it’s off lmao

also this is what I imagine sirius to look like but like,, with the expressions and mannerisms in the viria fanart

I have at least two more parts planned out roughly so those should come at some point uwu

requests are open, here’s my kofi xo

Shaking. You’re fucking shaking, tremors wracking uncontrolably through your body as you stare through blurry, tear filled eyes already spilling, at the big black dog in front of you. You look up at your porch light almost instantly, squeezing your eyes shut. You can’t tell which is louder, the layered incomprehensible thoughts fighting and screaming every instinct, or your pulse hammering in your ears. This is almost too much to bear as it is, but right now what you need are some fucking answers. This is confirmed as steel yourself, looking back down at the dog before you can even finish the thought. 

You read somewhere that the more you think of a memory, the faster it fades. After almost two years of thinking of him, of those eyes that held such love and loyalty and courage, you were sure your memories of him must be worn out to near transparency. And yet you stand corrected right there on your porch after one year, eleven months, and two and a half weeks of repetitive, maddening remembering, looking into those eyes and knowing as clearly as you did all that time ago that this isn’t just a black dog.

You don’t even have to say anything, the message clear in those all too intelligent eyes being proof enough. Practicality snaps into place, and you hurriedly usher him inside, not knowing which felt longer - almost two years of painfully tested loyalty, or those fifteen seconds out on your porch. You secure the locks, pushing the foyer table against the door, and lead him into the laundry room and away from any windows or fireplaces. You press your back against the closed door, sliding down, trying to catch your breath, the dog sitting patiently across from you. 

You press the heels of your hands to your eyes, letting out a sharp breath, almost laugh, of relief. You take a few deep breaths, trying to center yourself before you work up the courage to look up. When you do, he’s sitting right there. He looks virtually identical to the last time you saw him, your memories once again stronger than the time trying to erode them. Those same eyes are latched onto yours, disbelieving and searching yours for any traces of hate or bitter judgement. 

He concludes there really is none when you throw yourself into his arms, holding him so tight. He chokes back a sob as he buries his face in your neck, arms wrapping around your back, hands clutching your shirt. You fight tears of pure relief, pursing your lips and letting out a few concentrated breaths. 

“Sirius,” you manage after yet another infinity, still shaking in his arms. His tears finally spill at the raw love in your voice, beginning the painful filling of the hole the dementors had been steadily carving for years. You feel the cool, wet droplets hit your shoulder, and you squeeze him even tighter. 

“I swear, I would never-”

“I know,” you cut him off, his voice tight, riddled with pain and the fear of being unjustly rejected and shunned again. One hand runs over his back in soothing, repetitive shapes, the other smoothing the back of his hair, “I’ve always known.” You repeat, your voice fierce with certainty, free of any trace of doubt. Your warmth almost burns him after all that time in the bitter cold, and he curls tighter into you, almost unable to breathe. 

After a while, you’re not sure how long, you finally pull away to look at him properly. It’s surreal, one moment he looks exactly like how you last saw him, the next he’s almost unrecognizable. His face is slightly more angular than you remember, the rosy glow to his cheeks all but gone, and you’re sure he’s lost some weight. His collarbones and spine are more discernible under your touch than they had been. At only 23, he holds a battered, beaten sorrow beyond his years, but a light lives in his eyes that will never go out. Who could blame him? You’re sure he’s in much better shape than anyone else in that hell hole. 

His hand caresses your cheek, memorizing every eyelash and freckle. 

“I missed you,” he brings his forehead to yours, “so much.” You feel the pain and emotion in his voice, and you remind yourself that it’s all over now. You’re not going to let him go back there. Ever. Your hand runs through his hair, and you bring your lips closer to his. 

“I missed you too,” your warm breath fans over his face, and his breath hitches, “so, so much.” Your words echo his, and his heart lurches, feeling like it’s beating again for the first time in far too long. You hover there for a second, and you feel his hesitance. With everything that happened, all the slander and lies, he doesn’t know how you feel. The last thing he would ever do is try to initiate unless he knows you want to as much as he does. His unbroken, unwavering respect makes you smile - he’s still as much of a gentleman as ever. 

You close the space between with no hesitation, and your lips meet. The corners of both your eyes are misty with relief and passion and everything left unsaid as he pulls you into his lap, as invested in you as ever. You kiss feverishly, his lips slightly chapped but still soft. You angle your head deepening the kiss, and his hands squeeze your waist. When you finally pull away to catch your breath, you pepper a few kisses across his face, trailing down to his neck before resting your head on his shoulder. 

“Does anyone know you’re here?” you ask quietly, already dreading an answer. 

“Not yet, I don’t think,” he answers, kissing the top of your head, “just got out.” 

You pull your head up, staring at him in disbelief, a smile tugging at the corners of your mouth. 

“You’re the first person I’ve come to see,” he continues, loving the look on your face, “though the whole world will probably hear in the papers tomorrow-” “Oh my god,” you mutter, gently batting his chest, pulling him close to you again, pressing more kisses to the side of his face.

“Well, who did you think I’d see, the Queen?” You laugh into his neck, and the sound sends warmth through his whole body, like someone finally turned on the sun. His chest aches, this time from being so full after so long, and his arms tighten around you again. You pull away suddenly, a few moments later. 

“God, you must be starving. Do you want anything to eat?” 

“Well…” he muses, and you know that look. 

“Come on Puppy,” you say, finally getting to your feet, and helping him up with you. 

Sitting at your kitchen table across from him, the love of your life, finishing leftovers and debating on certain wizard vs. muggle foods was something you truly, to your core, never knew if you’d be able to do. In a moment of warm, insurmountable determination, you know that you will let absolutely no harm come to this man. Your mind is made up, resolutely as you pour tea, plans already forming. He fought for himself and for you for so long, now it’s your turn.

And this is not a fight you’re capable of losing.

[biznichwrites]

Ask: Okay, Biz, please hear me out. May I please have Giyuu being in a one-sided love affair with his longtime lover? Like he knows the score so he tries not to rock the boat, but he can’t deny the fact that she makes him feel so happy and alive. Until one day she just drops out of his life; no explanation. (1/2)

So he tries to go on while lowkey still searching for her. Then one day he finds out that she cut all ties with him so she could die without him knowing— to avoid hurting him more. And then Giyuu vows to live a lonely and loveless existence bc she was the only woman he’d ever loved. Also, for more pain, two words: Unborn. Baby. Thank you, Biz!!! ✨ (2/2)

@dudeandduchess I hope you like the pain 😎👌✨

His heart broke at the idea of her disappearing. Every time he passed by the village she lived in he tried to find her to no avail. Had he done something so bad she left without a trace? He knew he never expressed himself to her, how much he loved her, but he expected at least some warning before she left.

Days turned to weeks which turned into months. He felt the happiness she'd given him begin to crumble and leave a weight in his chest. He must have done something for her to hate him, he was sure of it. He hated himself for causing such a thing, even more for not telling her of the adoration that grew for her every moment they spent together.

Despite his awkward social interactions, he began to ask the villagers where she had gone. He was desperate for answers. No matter how far she had gone he would follow her - he would prove himself to her.

When the villagers told him she had died he didn't believe them. There was no way she was gone - he kept a close eye on demons in the area and slayed any the moment they popped up. She hadn't seemed ill in all the times he'd seen her.

He took to breaking into her home. Was it the right thing to do? No. Did he care? Not in the least, especially if she was on the other side of the blocked door. When he finally made his way in he found everything dusty, desolate and clearly abandoned. Yet when he walked into her room he found her clothing still in place, futon still on the floor and most of her items still in place.

He found a small yukata, tiny as they could be made and other items made for children. Maybe someone with a child had visited. It was odd.

Placed atop her chest of clothing sat an envelope, covered thickly by dust as if waiting for him to find his way inside. It was addressed to him after all. He opened it, his hands shaking as he read the contents. Inside were letters from different days, seeming to stretch from the time of her disappearance to her death. Every day or two she wrote to him without fail, yet never sent them.

In the letters she explained she cared for him and was sorry for leaving without a word, but she was sure he didn't want a child out of wedlock with someone he didn't love. She couldn't do that to him. If she really loved him then she would let him free.

His eyes watered seeing that she didn't believe she would survive childbirth and she couldn't ask someone like him to care for a child that he never asked for. She felt as if she'd be in the way, if not stress him more than she was worth given her illness. She would be no use to him and she did her best to not burden him when they saw each other.

As the weeks went on her letters described how she was sorry to him that she never said goodbye, how she wanted to see him one last time. Her body grew weaker, her organs struggling to support her normally, much less with a baby.

One of the latest letters detailed that she thinks the baby isn't making it, that she wasn't strong enough to keep either of them alive. Over and over she called herself a failure and begged that he'd forgive her for not being good enough to manage the task every other woman seemed to be able to do.

The last letter was written roughly, almost as if she wasn't able to focus. She was having a miscarriage, there was a lot of blood and she was scared. There wasn't much left on the blank page, just the bottom filled with the writing "I love you and I'll miss you."

His heart felt as if was simultaneously in his stomach and being ripped from his chest. The love of his life and a child of his own blood ripped from him simultaneously broke him in a way he hadn't felt before, those two being the only connections that hadn't been shattered by death in the past.

He blamed himself. It was his fault - had he found her sooner and tried harder he would have been there for her. He could have taken her to Shinobu that could have given her treatment like no other, he could have kept her and possibly the child alive. But he hadn't been dedicated enough, he had let her die by his own negligence. If he really did love her, then what did that love amount to if he couldn't even do anything for her?

He did the math on the dates of the letters she wrote to find they ended a couple of months prior. He was just two months too late - after spending the better half of a year looking for her. If he put more effort in he could have at least been by her side. Even worse is that the child would have been born just about the time he arrived, give a few days.

His hands found the dusted yukata and held it in his hands. It was a pastel tone, smaller than he could have ever imagined a human to ever be. Would the child look like her or him? Or a mix? Was it even a boy or girl? His stomach twisted at the thought.

His hands found a kimono of hers, one of the ones she had for so long it was thread baren and narrowly held together by her mending. But it was hers, and despite how tattered others viewed it, he found her still beautiful behind the clothing others would have thrown out. She outshined all of it. Or had at one point. Even when he bought her a new one she kept the older dress, only wearing the one he gave her for special occasions.

For the first time in years he cried, clutching the child's yukata and the old kimono to his chest. It still smelled like her vaguely, even through the scent of stale air and dust. Heart wrenching sobs filled her home, echoing off the dead walls as he felt what was left of his heart shatter.

He took her belongings with him. Her few pieces of jewelry, her and the baby's clothing - he was more selfish with memoirs this time. He kept a piece of her with him at all times, just as he did with his sister and Sabito. As he hung her kimono in his room, along with the one of their child below, he vowed to never look away from her again. She had his heart, even in death.

[ballcrinas]

( hunter schafer / trans woman ) JULIA FELICITY LAURY is 21 years old and is a JUNIOR at thales university. SHE is majoring in DANCE and is known for being THE SILKEN SOUL as SHE can be WHIMSICAL and BUBBLY as well as GULLIBLE and SENSITIVE. every time i see HER, SHE reminds me of BABY-PINK RIBBONS TYING HER POINTE SHOES, THE DELICATE SWIRLS OF OAT-MILK WEBBING THROUGH A LATTE, FUR-TRIM ON A CLEAR BACKPACK. ( adora / 23 / she/they / cst )

hello   my   frens   !   pleasure   to   meet   u   ,   my   name   is   adora   ,   23   yrs   old   ,   she/they   pronouns   !   i   am   super   excited   to   be   here   and   to   write   with   you   all   !   i   am   thrilled   to   introduce   julia   felicity   laury   (   also   answers   to   julie-beans,   jules,   jewels,   jelly-bean,   and   a   variety   of   other   nicknames   )   to   pyrrhicfm   !   if   you’d   like   to   read   her   full   bio   ,   please   click   here   for   more   !   as   for   some   quick   facts   ,   here   they   are   !

julia   is   a   BALLET   STUDENT   ;   originally   hailing   from   hartford   connecticut   ,   she   moved   to   thales   uni   roughly   three   years   prior   for   her   freshman   year.   she   is   also   a   vegan   &&   OAT   MILK   enthusiast.   her   favorite   color   is   PINK   and   she   knows   miss   ariana   grande’s   entire   discography   by   heart.   a   certified   soft   girl   ,   julia   comes   off   as   incredibly   naive   ,   gullible   ,   and   childish   ---   but   be   warned   ;   beneath   the   surface   is   a   catty   regina   george   wannabe   DYING   to   bubble   to   the   surface.

people   would   often   DESCRIBE   julia   as   …

SWEET   -   TEMPERED      ;      with   wide   blue   eyes   &   bell   like   laugh   ,   it   is   no   surprise   that   julia   is   considered   likeable   for   her   peachy-sweet   disposition.

NAIVE      ;      julia   is   often   considered   childish   &   almost   immature   for   her   penchant   to   believe   in   the   best   in   everyone   ;   though   she   can   be   petty   and   catty   at   times   ,   she   looks   at   those   who   spare   her   kindness   with   doe-eyes   and   a   bambi   smile.

PETULANT      ;      the   mean   girls   generation   has   bred   a   certain   level   of   catty   ,   childish   petulance   within   her   --   &   though   julia   is   a   kind   girl   who   tries   her   best   to   be   as   open   &   thoughtful   as   possible   ,   those   who   cross   her   are   liable   to   face   the   wrath   of   a   scorned   teenage   girl   who   isn’t   above   faking   receipts   if   it   serves   her   cause.

BUBBLY      ;      enthusiastic   ,   bell-like   laughter   is   never   far   from   anywhere   julia   is,   for   she   is   quick   to   engage   with   her   friends   with   rapt   enthusiasm   ;   her   sweet   energy   is   oftentimes   infectious   ,   causing   those   who   spend   enough   time   with   her   to   smile   along   at   whatever   it   is   she’s   grinning   at.

LOYAL      ;      julia’s   most   infallible   trait   is   her   almost   self-deprecating   loyalty   to   those   who   have   captured   her   affection   and   adoration   ;   julia   stops   at   nothing   when   it   comes   to   supporting   her   loved   ones   ,   often   bending   herself   backwards   &   spreading   herself   far   too   thin   in   the   name   of   showing   her   appreciation   as   best   as   she   can.   her   friends   get   to   see   the   most   honest   ,   most   raw   sides   of   her.

ROMANTIC      ;      julia   is   known   to   be   starry-eyed   for   any   boy   that   smiles   at   her   too   long   ,   often   leaving   herself   as   a   victim   to   her   own   romanticism.   a   lover   before   anything   else   ,   julia   finds   that   she   desires   nothing   more   than   a   fairy-tale   love   story   in   which   she   is   courted   &   wooed   by   her   handsome   knight   in   shining   armor   --   but   such   a   fascination   often   causes   her   to   throw   caution   to   the   wind   to   chase   any   chad   from   sigma   apple   pie   whenever   she   can.

POTENTIAL   PLOTS   !   friend   with   benefits   ,   a   “chad”   who   thinks   shes   an   easy   booty   call   at   2   am   (   she’s   a   sucker   for   a   2   am   hey   wyd   ah   ha   :p   )   ,   best   friends   since   orientation   ,   an   acquaintance   that   secretly   hates   her   ,   ballerina   rival   ,   ballerina   ALLY   ,   the   one   person   who’s   order   she’s   memorized   bc   they   always   bump   into   each   other   at   the   coffeeshop   ,   tinder   matches   &   bumble   matches   ,   people   who   went   on   an   awkward   first   date   with   her   ,   concert   buddies   ,   study   buddies   ,   the   kid   who   julia   cheats   off   of   in   math   class   bc   gays   can’t   do   math   ,   that   one   friend   she   only   ever   talks   to   in   her   instagram   dms   ,   someone   who   bullies   her   ,   and   anything   else   !

[captain-flint]

We know Buck went to college because he mentioned it in 3x09. What do you think he studied there?

my idea is that whatever it was, it wasn’t what he wanted at all. think business or law or management or econ or whatever else parents expect from their kids so they can become rich and influential. although, in buck’s case probably not anything math related, that i fully believe he sucks at. i’ve read several fics where writers headcanon buck as a college football player which was meant to be his professional career, but it wasn’t what he wanted. that’s also a good take i could get behind, even though it kind of perpetuates the idea that buck is nothing more than a dumb jock. i honestly can’t tell you exactly what i think he studied, but i’m sure it was something incredibly boring and sedentary. something that would’ve most likely led to him working from behind a desk which would’ve ultimately killed him. i mean it’s kind of obvious that whatever it was he probably hated it, since he didn’t pursue his college career and he said he doesn’t even remember what his college essay was about. it’s kinda clear that he put that life behind him and closed the door on it.

mostly i think his parents either expected of him or wanted him to go to college and he didn’t want to disappoint them so he played the part. however, i’m torn between him actually finishing college (bc i do genuinely believe buck is smart, competent and hardworking when he wants to be) or believing he chose to stand up for himself and pursued something else instead. we don’t know what happened in the years between him finishing high school and joinining the navy seals at the age of roughly 25. all he reveals is that he bartended one summer in south america. could very well be that he actually graduated college, shoved the diploma at his parents, and fucked off to be someone else. or he could’ve dropped out and done god knows what during all those years. whatever it is i can’t wait to find out in Buck begins 

[xianmudelaozu]

*; OOC » SO I was rewatching the animation with my best friend while staying at her place bc my electricity was down and because I hate leaving things unfinished and also bc I was maybe trying to refresh my memory a bit for oc development reasons I continued watching where we left off.......

AND I COULDNT HELP BUT PULL OUT MY CALCULATOR AGAIN! Join me on Age/Timeline calculator road! (or skip to the bottom to read what I have come up with)

So, referencing this post of mine, we are safe to assume “it’s Year 25 when the Yiling Patriarch died. He’s been dead for 13 years which makes it the Year 38.” Easy as that. Basic Math, am I right? Cool, moving on.

Now, what I know is, that JC and WWX were about 15 when studying at Gusu, right? The study was supposed to last a year (it did for JC, but WWX got kicked out) which means JC was 16 when he returned from Gusu. At a certain flashback we hear Madam Yu’s voice claiming the boys are 16 and 17, and knowing WWX is older, it’s safe to assume it was after JC returned to Lotus Pier from Gusu. 

Then, the Archery contest, thing... stuff you know Discussion Conference happened shortly after, followed by Wen Chao feeling humiliated and the Wen Clan destroying several clans, including the burning of Gusu’s Cloud Recess and the uhm.... recruitment of the other Clan’s students and them having to turn in their swords yadda yadda.

It is save to assume there wasn’t too much time in between those happening, let it be a month maybe, but JC and WW were still 16/17 respectively. So, they get pushed around by Wen Chao, find the turtle, rest 3 days, kill the turtle, recover 7 days (?) all in the same year. We also know WWX was younger than 20 as commented by JC that he killed such a wild beast before reaching adulthood (Age 20)

Madam Yu and JFM get into a fight. JFM leaves assumed for several days, (since Yanli is there when WWX wakes up but is stated to ‘have left 2 days ago’ the night the Wen’s attack). Lotus Pier fell in a single night, meaning that was a quick defeat.

It takes Lan Xichen several months (as stated by his uncle at his return to Gusu) to gather the clans for their cause.  I guess it’s save to assume (since MXTX is like fuck timelines) That there possibly is a span of two or three months between attack on Gusu and the attack on Lotus Pier given the above statement.

WWX and JC wander for a few days before returning to Lotus Pier, where they stay for 5 days until Wen Chao’s returns. It is not stated how long it takes them to get to Baoshan Sanren’s mountain, but I’m assuming a few weeks. It is then that WWX gets attacked and thrown into the Burial Mounds.

I say, this might have all spiraled down in the span of a year, give or take a few months.

Fast forward to Sunshot Campaign starts. It is said their first attempt to take the Nightless City was unsuccessful which is why they split up and started smaller territorial battles. Now, War aint done in just a few weeks, so I guess it took a while. H O W E V E R, when Wen Chao attacks Chongyang he taunts JC and LWJ by saying he threw WWX into Burial Mounds a few days ago, so maybe it’s only been a week or two since the Sunshot Campaign started. Or Wen Chao is just a prick yknow. 

EDIT 1: I forgot, the Sunshot Campaign is said to have been taken 10 days, or rather that the Clans fought the Wen for 10 days in total, so I guess that fixes that. If we say Wen Chao threw WWX into the mountain “a few days ago”, however long that was, WWX joined somewhere in the middle of those 10 days.

EDIT 2: Season 2 literally starts with the Nightless City being stormed in Year 23 and it is said to have lasted several weeks and ends with the Fall of Wen Rouhan.

WWX joining JC back when returning to Lotus Pier. The animation flashes ‘back’ to current times after his awakening titled “16 years later” --- he died 13 years ago. So he’s been acting as the Yiling Patriarch for 3 years before he died. that is safe to assume. Also fits with Sizhui being 3 years old when he was found by LWJ after WWX died.

What else we know is that Jing Ling is 15 (edit: at the end of the story! in the beginning he’s 14, close to 15 I believe) and Sizhui is 16. which means there is a roughly 2 year gap between the bloodbath of Nightless City and the Siege of Burial Mounts where WWX died in Year 25.

EDIT 3: It is questionable if the Sunshot Campaign really lasted about a year, but we have two different time stamps. One, with the Animation showing us Wei Wuxian being thrown into Burial Mounds and rejoining JC and JYL in Lotus Pier being 16 years before his resurrection, and another with S2 opening saying The Nightless City/Wen Rouhan fell in the year 23 in a battle that lasted several weeks. 

Then again, we are told the Clans fought the Wen for 10 days which is just confusing the fuck out of me not gonna lie. How I understand it, the 10 Days/Several weeks are probably referencing the same period of time and refer to ONLY the battle of the Nightless City where Wen Rouhan fell and not the whole Sunshot Campaign. That would definitely make more sense anyway. 

So we have Year 22 with the start and year 23 with the end of the Sunshot Campaign, leaving 2 more years until WWX’s death. We know the Lanling Jin Sect enslaved the remaining Wen in the same year. (S2, EP15 mentions those events to be 15 years ago. 38-15=23). Notable things WWX did in those two years are, resurrecting Wen Ning, taking in the remnants of the Wen, punching Jiang Cheng in the face leaving the Yungmeng Jiang Sect, awakening Wen Ning’s consciousness.

The Animation notes that “the issue” at Qiongqi Path took place “one year later”. Since Jin Ling was born in November and WWX was on his way to the one month birthday anniversary, I think it is just referring to “the next year” and not directly a year later, unless of course you take into consideration Jin Ling was still 14 at the beginning of the story (which I assumed was just bc he has a late birthday in November) but he might actually been born in Year 24! Tho the evidence suggests it is at the end of Year 24 (specifically December since JL was born in November and aged 1 month) that WWX and Wen Ning are on their way to the 1-Month-Banquet and WWX loses control and kills JZX..

Edit 4: It’s later referred to again that ‘the person [that cast the curse on JZX1] has reappeared after 14 years”, so it is save to say Jin Ling was born in November of Year 24 and his father died a month later in December. Since WWX died in the Year 25 it is safe to assume, with everything taking place at the end of Year 24, he died very early in the Year 25, most likely still in January. That is, however, like most of the rambling I put in here, purely speculation and assumptions. Tho I do believe it is closer to being accurate than my first half assed attempted at trying to figure out the timeline.

That concludes the timeline/years of Mo Dao Zu Shi so far as I can tell up to the beginning of the story!

Regarding the matter of Xue Yang and XXC, I have the following theorie which is mostly just speculation and assumptions! Feel free to hash it out more or get inspired by it if you will.

NHS mentions that about 11 years prior (of the current year) the trouble at the stone castles began, which was shortly after he was appointed sect leader because Nie Mingjue died. That leads to assume NMJ died in the year 26 or 27. 

Xue Yang was imprisoned after WWX died and NMJ was still alive, so around year 25-26 (if we assume WWX died very early in January year 25 as mentioned above). Xue Yang was released AFTER NMJ died, probably in the same year (26-27) and then went on to get his revenge on Baixue Temple before returning to Lanling Jin Sect. 

He helped JGY to plot JGS's death and once that succeeded, he was captured and abused before released/escaping prison. Then, XXC and AQing found him. If we assume, this all happened until Year 27. 

During Year 27, he probably recovered from his injuries. We do not know how many years Xue Yang stayed with XXC, but it was at least 2 because he mentioned going night hunting with XXC 'two years ago', but given the fact his injuries needed to heal for several months I personally think he spend a year recovering and then started night hunting with XXC and stayed for the aforementioned two years = a total of 3 years

That would make it Year 30 - 8 years prior to WWX's resurrection - when he is found out and fights XXC and collects his shattered soul, as well as killing A-Qing

SO the only year we are explicitly given is the Year 25 when the Yiling Patriarch died and Year 23 when the Sunshot Campaign ended/Wen Rouhan died. Going from there, this is all speculations of timelines/ages unless we know the year/gap we’re given

* the happenings concerning Xue Yang, Song Lan, Xiao Xingchen and A-Qing are PURELY speculation on my part!

YEAR 20 - JC and WWX study at Gusu 

(JC Age 15, WWX Age 16)

YEAR 21 - JC returns from his 1 year trip to Gusu 

(JC: 16/ WWX: 17)

LATE YEAR 21 - EARLY YEAR 22 - Archery Competition/Discussion Conference in the Nightless City. Destruction of Cloud Recess, abduction of the Students by the Wen, death of the turtle. 

(JC about 17, WWX 18)

(- 16 years) YEAR 22 - Start of the Sunshot Campaign. WWX becomes the Yiling Patriarch/Develops Demonic Cultivation 

(JC: 17, WWX: 18) // Sizhui is born (just for reference) My heart bleeds imagining JC was just sweet 17 hot damn

(-15 years) YEAR 23 - END of the Sunshot Campaign / Death of Wen Rouhan (confirmed in S2 EP1 of the Animation), Death of Wen Ning/Resurrection as the Ghost General (S2 EP5) | JYL & JZX get married

( -14 years) LATE YEAR 24 - Jin Ling is born in November, about a month later, JZX dies on Qingqi Path / Wen Qing & Wen Ning’s execution and Bloodbath of Nightless City / JYL dies.  

(JC: 18/19, WWX: 19/20) 

Beginning of YEAR 25 - Siege of the Burial Mounds - WWX dies 

(JC: 20, WWX: 21 (deceased) | Jin Ling: 1, Sizhui: 3)

YEAR 25-26 - Massacre of Yueyang Chang Sect / Imprisonment of Xue Yang one month later -  Nie Mingjue insulting Jin Guangyao

(Speculated Age for Xiao Xingchen 17-18, Song Lan: 17-18, Xue Yang: 15-16)

YEAR 26-27 - Trouble in Nie Sect Stone Castles / Speculated death of Nie Mingjue / Release of Xue Yang / Baixue Temple Masacre /  Assumed Death of Jin Guangshan / JGY abusing XY / XY escaping prison / XXC and A-Qing finding XY in the streets

(JC: 22, WWX: Deceased | Jin Ling: 3, Sizhui: 5)

(Speculated Age for Xiao Xingchen 18, Song Lan: 18, Xue Yang: 15-16)

YEAR 28 - Xue Yang and XXC start night hunting together

YEAR 30 - Song Lan confronts Xue Yang, dies / XXC confronts Xue Yang, dies / Xue Yang kills A-Qing / Xue Yang spends 8 years trying to piece XXC’s shattered soul back together

(Speculated Age for Xiao Xingchen 22/23, Song Lan: 22/23, Xue Yang: 20)

(+13 years) YEAR 38 - WWX gets resurrected 

(JC: 33 / WWX techincally 34 | JL: 14/15, LSZ: 16)

(Speculated Age for Xiao Xingchen 30/31, Song Lan: 30/31, Xue Yang: 28)

[alatismeni-theitsa]

On the game theory thing - spends over half of the vdeo complaining how Ovid ( who invented Icarus tale now ) didn' t know science bc air gets colder the higher you get up ( with cancel Ovid joke for that but Poseidon is evul and Minos kinda okay ) , spends the next large chunk going about how OG Icarus wings would fail bc birds have lighter, stiffer bones for flight than humans. Basically dragging out every diffrence that evolution made between us and birds which left only roughly 4 min 1 / 2

In the last 4 min he pulls out data from the 40s ( people dug up an ancient greek graveyard and guessed at the weight of the people), goes on how there was a dino bird on earth heavier than that, does some barebones math to find that doesn't work either than complains that the mechanical wings could have used the Hummingbird version of flight and the game would have been cooler bc you could constantly fly ( didn't even touch on how wind factors into flight ) and his fans just parrot him

Sorry to complain to you about game theory but with the way he present data his fans can be LO level of annoying bc they don't fact-check and the channel hardly ever admits to faults and shifts the blame whenever possible and there are so many other channels that pay more attention that their science checks out ( tumblerinas love game theory, saw one recently quoting about medieval fights which got debunked from 3 different history channels and Icarus wings have more mass appeal )

_____________________________________________

No worries, all rants are accepted!

I saw the video and I will say my opinion - but this doesn’t mean I hate on the team behind the videos. It was an interesting thing what they focused on but overall the video gave me a weird feeling, like it was going in circles or like it was going nowhere. It said a lot but the information value was small, I found. As you said, spends a lot of time away from the science. And the mathematics are very superficial, but I think they kept it as simple as possible because not everyone is a math nerd, and they didn’t want to alienate the average watcher.

They probably spent a few minutes on Wikipedia where it says that *the most famous* telling of the myth came from Ovid (but the presenter said it like Ovid was the one who first told the myth, while this is untrue. We have mentions of the story the 6th and 7th centuries BCE from what I saw). Like, he said that “it’s the fault of an arrogant author - meaning Ovid - not doing is his research”. But Ovid wasn’t the author of the story. Maybe he is implying that Ovid put his own twist on the wings but... I don’t think he had a reason to change this when he heard the Greek story.

The suggestion at the end, about changing the wings for 360 degree movement was nice, though.