#sad bitch journal

[sluttypatrickstar]

my brain has been bad lately and im going. crazy. i don't trust my own opinions im scared im wrong and im scared people are going to mock me for being wrong and im scared im going to be a bigot and then no one will want to talk to me ever again. people saying that someone has a bad “vibe” makes me feel stupid when i didn't see that bad vibe. like, i see people saying that the boss tumblr had a bad vibe and was cringe because of the hornyposting, but i see other tumblr users hornyposting. are they all cringe? are some cringe and others not? why can't i tell? what's wrong with me that i can't tell? i feel like im going to be embarrassed bcus everyone else seems to know who or what is cringey and i don't. my brain is just running with these anxieties so bad. they swirl around in my brain all the time. im scared i don't want to be wrong i don't want to be cringey please please please

[s0fter-sin]

i know it's just bc your character doesn't talk in the og mw trilogy but the way mactavish is completely silent in mw2's final mission with price after being so talkative the entire game is just haunting

he's lost his entire team and not even price being back can cut through his grief

the whole game, he gives orders and comments on things but after losing everyone, after trying to get any kind of reassurance from price just to get a sanctimonious monologue back at him, he doesn't say a word

just shuts down, only caring about the mission, only following orders

all of his growth throughout mw2, the five years he spent becoming a captain and building his own team and the second price calls him “soap” it’s all gone; he regresses back to the sergeant

voiceless. faceless

soap

[sh5]

it’s so funny that hot prof is like. listen, if you don’t like the grade I gave you on a paper. go to a bar and get drunk about it. 👋

[ivyllamauwu]

Don’t mind me just picking up my Lancetris crumbs that I have now..

[queenqunari]

Has anyone figured out what to do with the undying rage that lives just beneath the surface? Like the fury that you constantly need to be pushing down because you know unleashing it onto others is cruel? But if you never let it out the build up causes you to explode on some unsuspecting bystander?

[killuamesoftly]

I spent so much energy trying not to cry like a baby in the cinema that I need to re-read the manga and see the movie again to actually Process anything at all

(P.s. there is a post credit scene)

[kittlyns]

Coming to the realization that I'm never going to be a fun aunt to my friends' babies because I always feel like I'm losing more than I'm gaining

[distortionhorse]

Heheheh new journal and sticky notes r coming

[talula-bell]

[changing-the-narrative]

getting high lately is hard bc i think in general being high just makes me see everything through rose colored glasses. everything is so beautiful. and so when i, inevitably, think of you, i just see good and beautiful and the happy times and the laughter and your face and getting to run my finger across it. i feel warm and fuzzy and it just makes me want to see you and talk to you so bad. but i can’t. because none of that stuff is real. i’m seeing it all through a rose lense. and the reality is that you just don’t want me the way i want you. no matter how it feels in the moment. so i just can’t. if i ever want to move forward and have an actual life i have to stop. but it’s just so goddamn hard when i’m high because i just wanna hold you and kiss you and touch you and feel you and laugh with you and sing with you and talk with you and it feels so nice that it’s like i can’t seem to convince myself that this won’t be “the time” where everything changes and you realize you love me and you’ve always loved me and you wanna be with me and can’t stand to live without me anymore. haha. i am aware i am delusional, unfortunately that doesn’t seem to erase the delusion. i just don’t know how you do this. how you did this. i dunno. it’s embarrassing honestly. oof this is when i get a little mad at you. ‘cause i sorta feel like you did this to me, but then you just get to walk away without all the damage. not to say i didn’t deal any damage of my own, but for those i also bear a weight. for yours.. you seem to have walked away unscathed. and it just makes me kinda furious. ugh this is getting too long and too all over the place i am too high.

signing off feeling sad,

sgt. cheshi🫡

[sluttypatrickstar]

sad bitch journal

december 19, 2022

got a panini from starbucks for lunch but my sensory sensitivities are thru the roof and the smell makes me SICK. had a big cry yesterday bcus the sensory stuff was just too much so im trying to rest but It's So Hard bcus the world is full of sensory experiences

last night was a bit struggle but im still here i guess... i got thru somehow. yesterday started so good with books & brownies too, sucks that it did a 180 on me

the thought that i have to live like this every day, to fight to live, to struggle against this tidal wave of misery to find the good in the world ... it makes me feel so tired, so exhausting, doesn't the world know i don't have the energy to do this every day?

i saw a tiktok this morning of someone's crochet progress from the first thing they made in feb 2022 to their most recent thing and it was amazing and they had made so much progress but of course instead of just being able to think, good for them! that's such a cool design they made! i just thought that i've been crocheting almost the same time and im still not that good and i couldn't do that... sigh.

fucking negativity bias. i learned a whole new hobby this year even though im dyspraxic and i've made so many things, some that i wear and some that i was even lucky enough to sell at a market, and all i can think of is that im still not good enough.

why is it that i'm so cruel to myself? why is it that i can't seem to treat myself with the kindness i would treat others? why can't i celebrate my own successes instead of feeling that they're not enough?

signing off to eat this panini and wallow in my piles of cosy cosy yarn,

[balenciagacowgirl]

Therapy is pricey and my family acts like they don't understand me and don't want to listen and I can't keep turning to my friends. I don't want to burden them and I just want to vanish because this is all just too much and why do I feel a constant sense of doom.

[dancingdorito]

gif cred: livelovecaliforniadreams

colin's reaction to penelope saying his writing is really good makes me sad. bc the main reason he wrote the journal is because she wasn't responding to him :( and her saying that and knowing that she was supposed to be receiving them because she's the only one who would listen to his adventures and actually care hurts me. even when she was trying to ignore him, he was still inspired by her. that's love bitch.

[hadesknockedupintheunderworld]

Okay now that I've reblogged that one post...

Holy shit

Like, please understand me. This is how I already interpreted these relationships after reading Journal 3 but like

Wow Ford really was in a weird kinda complicated gay situationship with Bill and Fiddleford, huh? When he's all alone on Christmas in tbob he's all like "Oh yeah haha of course...of course. You have. Yeah. You have a wife, F. How could I expect you not to leave. I am totally not secretly hoping you'll turn around and come back to me, or that you'll even bring your family back here if you have to so I can see you. I'd retreat to my dreams but I haven't seen my muse in weeks and I miss him so badly. I'm so alone"

He and Fiddleford aren't even dating but it's hard not to get the light impression that this situationship is such that Ford kinda treats Bill like his comfort triangle from his head and dreams and Fiddleford like his comfort best friend in his lab. Like he's sad on Christmas that his boyfriends left him alone, you know? Of course it's definitely more complicated than just that, but they are dear companions to him

Or when Bill finally comes back and Ford is pissed

"You return now? After all of that, after me missing you so badly, almost dying, wondering if I'd dreamed it all up. You return now like it was no biggie? Did you ever mean the things you said? Did you not find some other scientist or some other big brain to talk up? Have you found someone else? Another partner?"

And then Bill, dodging the question was like "Funny you think I'm cheating on you as if you haven't been spending all that time with F. The side bitch. The third wheel. You've even considered telling him everything, even though you know he has second thoughts. Heh. A little birdie told me he dreams of shutting down the project even."

Leading Ford to be like "Aw hell how could I accuse my muse of such a terrible thing when I haven't been a saint. He's right! F has been much less motivated lately and I've just gotten so paranoid from the isolation. I'm so sorry for my baseless accusations."

I don't even have a lot to say I just love these three. Fiddleford put up with a lot of shit from Ford while also dealing with his own problems and trying to help him regardless, while Stanford saw him as a comfort and a good friend but ultimately someone who was of lesser mind than he and couldn't see things through his eyes, while Bill was in Stanford's corner actively making him worse and contributing to his isolation (trying to get him to drop Fiddleford and actively feeding his paranoia), while Stanford was seeing both relationships of his with stars in his eyes and rose tinted glasses because he refused to do some introspection

There's so much stuff that journal 3 and tbob added to the equation that's just bad/shitty all around. Can't believe Ford went through a double divorce/breakup despite not having ever been married (or, at least, despite not even officially dating them sorta)

The entire situation in the past is just tragic and hilarious and concerning all at once and that's what I like the portal trio for tbh

[thebiggerbear]

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that." - Dean Winchester Prompt Response

Summary: You and Dean refuse to speak to one another after an argument and Sam has finally had enough.

A/N: Prompt from @creativepromptsforwriting (#941). I loved writing this but I always love it when it comes to Dean. 😊 And of course, I couldn't resist when it came to Sam in the end. Brothers, gotta love 'em. ;)

Thank you to my beta @rieleatiel for her services. You rock, girl!

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Female!Reader; Dean Winchester x Female!Huntress!Reader

Warnings: mentions of implied sex

Word Count: 1449

Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187

Dean Taglist: @heartlessdelusions; @nancymcl; @brightlilith

Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat; @deansbbyx

"I hate you." "You have a weird way of showing that."

Soldier Boy version ✨ Beau version ✨ Jenny version ✨ Jason version ✨ Tom version ✨ CJ version ✨ Rachel version ✨ Anael version ✨ SDV Leah version ✨ Alec version

Dean snuck a glance at you only to quickly look away when you looked up from your lore book. In return, you snuck a peek at him but pretended you were looking at something else when he lifted his head from one of the hunter’s journals he’d found in storage. 

Sam had watched this infuriating dance happen at least twelve times by now and it was getting on his last nerve. At first, he thought it was hopeful. Then heartbreaking. Now it was just damn aggravating, more so because he knew his older brother was being his usual stubborn self. All he needed to do was come out and apologize already, and Dean knew that yet still refused to budge an inch.

You and Dean had gotten into an argument during the last hunt. He’d been upset that you had taken on three vamps by yourself—something you had done back in your high school days, along with killing other creepy things that slithered out of the dark. You were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, which you had proven multiple times, and you knew when to ask for help. Dean didn’t want to hear it, claiming you could have been killed had he and Sam not been close by. You both dug in your heels no matter what Sam said, and you two were still at an impasse, giving each other the silent treatment. Still, that didn’t stop the longing glances Dean gave you when you weren’t looking, or the sad looks you gave him when he was none the wiser. It was driving Sam nuts. He had never met two people who were so stubborn—aside from his parents, of course—and now that he thought about it, stubborn or not, you and Dean were well-suited for one another.

“You know,” Sam broke the silence. “At some point, you two are going to have to talk to each other again.”

Dean shot him a surreptitious glare. You had no problem offering a withering glare of your own.

“Look,” Sam continued. “Y/N is right, she can take care of herself and if she needs our help, she’ll say something.” At your triumphant smile, Dean’s gaze darkened.

“No one asked you to butt in, Sammy,” he warned.

Sam nearly rolled his eyes. “If I don’t, this won’t get resolved because you both are too hard-headed to make the first move. Y/N,” Your eyes darted over to him. “My idiot brother won’t say it but the reason he got upset is because he’s scared.”

Dean’s free hand clenched into a fist and he gave a subtle shake of his head. Sam ignored him and continued, “He’s scared something is going to happen to you and he won’t be there to stop it. That’s why he freaked out that night. He’s not trying to tell you what to do or be a controlling jerk. He just wants you to be safe, that’s all.”

You bit your lip and turned your attention to Dean, who suddenly seemed very interested in the book in his lap. “Is that true?”

After a moment, he ground out, “Yeah. It’s true.”

You stood up, letting the book in your own lap fall to the ground with a heavy thud, and made your way over to Dean. You ripped the book out of his hands, tossed it to the floor, ignored Sam’s irritation at your carelessness with such old tomes, and crawled into Dean’s lap, his hands instantly coming around you to support you. You wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned down to kiss him. You felt him immediately begin to relax under your touch and only when his lips were completely pliant and moving with yours did you pull back, staring into his green eyes.

“Why couldn’t you just tell me that?”

He slid his hand up your back and to your hair, tenderly rubbing the strands between his fingers. “I don’t know. I just… That vamp had you in a hold and it scared the crap out of me when I couldn’t reach you fast enough. What if he had gotten more of a drop on you? What if—”

You gently placed your fingers against his lips, stopping him from finishing that question. “He didn’t. I killed my first vamp at 12, took out my first nest when I was 16. Hunting’s in my blood just as much as it is yours. I know what I’m doing.” You ran your fingers through his hair reassuringly, scratching at his scalp, and watched him lean into the touch. “But if you want, we can talk about it. We’ll come up with a plan that makes you feel better and works for both of us. Okay?”

He gave you a dopey smile that melted your heart. The magic touch had worked; the tension from before had finally lifted. “Okay, baby. Sounds good to me.”

You kissed him again, this time with a little more passion. “You know what else sounds good?” You murmured to his lips when you both needed a breath.

Those green eyes you loved so much immediately lit with an all-too familiar fire. “Do tell.”

You leaned in and whispered your plan into his ear, making sure Sam wouldn’t overhear. By the time you pulled back, he was grinning like crazy. Clearing his throat, he helped you off of his lap and back onto your feet as you both turned to face Sam, a mischievous smirk fighting its way onto your face. You knew that would get him going.

“Actually, I just remembered I left the…stove on in the kitchen. And Y/N here has to go call Jody to…give her an update on the case and how it’s going.”

Sam gave you both a look; he wasn’t buying it. You turned and gave the same look to Dean. He really hadn’t come up with anything better than that? “I hate you.”

“You have a weird way of showing that,” he teased, subtly rubbing up against you and smirking. This man was so lucky you loved him.

You shook your head and looked away, your cheeks growing hot. The bastard was turning you on even more and he knew it. It’d been almost two weeks, the longest you’d gone without since — well, since meeting him.

Sam was the one to clear his throat this time. “Whatever. Happy you both are talking to one another again. Now, go do what you’re going to do but just not in front of me, please. Okay? And you’re welcome.”

Dean shot Sam a look but he was too happy to care what Sam was intimating about his being the one who settled things between the two of you. He gave his younger brother a wide smile. “If you need us, we’ll be…” He trailed off, gesturing to the hallway that led to the rooms.

“Oh my God,” you muttered in embarrassment as you grabbed his hand and pulled him after you.

“Oh, hey!” Sam yelled. “Keep out of my room this time, Dean. I mean it!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean called back.

You had just turned the corner when Dean immediately had you up against the wall, kissing you passionately and picking you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his waist. When you pulled back for air, your brow furrowed in confusion at seeing Dean move past his door. “Dean,” you panted. “Where are you going? You just passed your room.”

“Yeah,” he chuckled.

“Okay, then where are you taking me?”

His smirk was so wicked you knew what the answer was before he said it. “Sammy’s room.”

“Dean, are you kidding me? No!”

“Relax, we won’t be in there long.”

“You know how upset he was last time and he just said—”

Dean came to a stop and kissed the crap out of you, effectively silencing you. You may have been a little dazed when he finally let you get some air. “He’s got the better bed and I want the very best for you, baby.” He then gave you a salacious smirk and leaned in. “Plus I know how much you love that headboard.”

He waggled his eyebrows at you as certain memories replayed in your mind. You were able to hold onto that headboard for a long time, it held you up well, and same for Dean…oh shit. Sorry, Sam.

“What are you waiting for?” You bit out impatiently, slipping your tongue into his mouth and swallowing his chuckle. As he walked you into Sam’s room, shutting and locking the door behind him, you made a mental note to later google the hell out of this headboard and find one for Dean’s bed.

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[cottoncandytomu]

Y’all can fight me on this but Modern!Ellie isn’t a player, she’s the gamer nerd who plays D&D, trolls online and is definitely a perv. 

18+ Content Below! MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT!! (Age in bio or pinned pls!!)

Tomu Notes~

NEW NERDY! PERVY! ELLIE X F!READER!!

Thought I'd do a little gremlin perv Ellie headcannon. !!Definitely some perv themes (ofc) mentions of sex and masturbation. Slight cursing, very minor references to depression/sadness!!

I'm close to (just about hehe) 50 followers y'all so THANK YOU OMFKDKJ. I've been enjoying writing for these two divine women and I'm thankful that you beauties are taking the time to read what I write. It means a lot hehe~ okay I'm done with the sappy shit, enjoy~

She absolutely has zero play when it comes to you. Always turning into a stuttering mess, then goes on to rant about her mistakes in her journal she keeps. Which is ALL about you, of course. 

You got yourself a fan, Ellie gives faaaaan behavior~ she stalks your socials and even follows you to class or around town. 

She grew up being your neighbor so she had unlimited access to seeing into your room across from hers, which is one of her favorite past times. Her hands would maybe kind of most certainly slip past her shorts while she watched you get undressed. Could you blame her though? You’re so irresistible. 

She basically creamed herself when you gave her a kiss on the cheek, as a thank you for helping you out on one of your assignments. 

Dina and Jesse made fun of her for weeks for it. 

She couldn’t help it, she’s had a crush on you ever since you were both little. The two of you were best playmates until you grew up and drifted apart. Belonging to very different social circles. You being the pretty popular socialite and her being the nerdy unseen introvert. 

You both grew apart, but you never treated her differently. Something Ellie was extremely grateful for, your friends would make fun of you for it. You didn’t care though, you two grew up together and you weren’t gonna let something as silly as a social status ruin that. 

It’s just unfortunate that when college rolled around you had to get with the most arrogant son of a bitch to ever walk the face of the earth (As Ellie tells her friends). 

Abby Anderson 

Ellie never liked Abby, never thought she was good enough for you. Yeah she may be captain of the hockey team, insanely attractive with a beautifully sculpted body and is extremely talented at just about anything she did but she was a piece of shit. 

Ellie had to endure the torture of Abby for years now. Abby knew how Ellie felt about you, Ellie thought she was good at hiding it, apparently not. 

Abby took a wicked enjoyment in making sure to shove your relationship down Ellie’s throat. Upping the PDA when she was around or showing up to your house where she’d make sure you’re obnoxiously loud in your bedroom, the window being wide open of course. Ellie never liked Abby and Abby never liked Ellie, finding her to be weird and gross. It definitely had nothing to do with their fathers being rivals.

But as much as Abby tortured Ellie it didn’t stop her from finding any means to be around you, watch you or think about you late at night. 

You never knew Ellie’s true feelings for you, seeing her as your childhood best friend was the farthest your relationship would ever come to be. 

It pained Ellie that that was all she was destined to be. 

She would be forever obsessed with the thought of you, dangling on a string and you’d be living your best life. Completely oblivious of what’s going on behind the scenes. 

So Ellie will just continue to click through your socials, saving each photo to her computer. Journal and draw you in her private time, keep an eye on you from afar. Watch as you enjoyed your life while she was stuck in her sorrow and daydreams of you. Stuffing her hand down her pants at the thought of you, alone and frustrated that you’re not there with her.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hope you enjoyed it!! Don't think I'm gonna write any fics based off of this,, unless y'all want more!

Thank you for reading and as always I welcome any feedback!! Have a beautiful day/night loves!!

=^.^=~