#san francisco can KEEP that treat…

[merriblu]

Over the last decade I tried to cultivate my tastes to finer food - nothing too fancy, just trying to stay away from overly processed food and fast food chains.

But y‘all…

I am CRAVING canned tamales. I know it’s a crime against Mexican cuisine but it’s up there with pop tarts and instant ramen for me. I decided to see if I could buy some here and I didn’t see any in the supermarket so checked online.

The cheapest I found was 1 can for 12.50€… or I could buy 12 for 150.00€.

And I am ashamed to say that for a good few seconds, I actually considered shelling out the money 🙈🙈🙈

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Electrons, not molecules

I'm on tour with my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me in TUCSON (Mar 9-10), then SAN FRANCISCO (Mar 13), Anaheim, and more!

When hydrocarbon barons do their damndest to torch the Earth with fossil fuels, they call us dreamers. They insist that there's a hard-nosed reality – humanity needs energy – and they're the ones who live in it, while we live in the fairy land where the world can run on sunshine and virtuous thoughts. Without them making the tough decisions, we'd all be starving in the frigid dark.

Here's the thing: they're full of shit.

Mostly.

Humanity does need energy if we're going to avoid starving in the frigid dark, but that energy doesn't have to come from fossil fuels. Indeed, in the long-term, it can't. Even if you're a rootin' tootin, coal-rollin' climate denier, there's a hard-nosed reality you can't deny: if we keep using fossil fuels, they will someday run out. Remember "peak oil" panic? Fossil fuels are finite, and the future of the human race needn't be. We need more.

Thankfully, we have it. Despite what you may have heard, renewables are more than up to the task. Indeed, it's hard to overstate just how much renewable energy is available to us, here at the bottom of our gravity well. I failed to properly appreciate it until I read Deb Chachra's brilliant 2023 book, How Infrastructure Works:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/17/care-work/#charismatic-megaprojects

Chachra, an engineering prof and materials scientist, offers a mind-altering reframing of the question of energy: we have a material problem, not an energy problem. If we could capture a mere 0.4% of the sun's rays that strike the Earth, we could give every person on the planet the energy budget of a Canadian (like an American, only colder).

Energy isn't just wildly abundant, though: it's also continuously replenished. For most of human history, we've treated energy as scarce, eking out marginal gains in energy efficiency – even as we treated materials as disposable, using them once and consigning them to a midden or a landfill. That's completely backwards. We get a fresh shipment of energy every time the sun (or the moon) comes up over the horizon. By contrast, new consignments of material are almost unheard of – the few odd ounces of meteoric ore that survive entry through Earth's atmosphere.

A soi-dissant adult concerned with the very serious business of ensuring our species isn't doomed to the freezing, starving darkness of an energy-deprived future would think about nothing save for this fact and its implications. They'd be trying to figure out how to humanely and responsibly gather the materials needed for the harvest, storage and distribution of this nearly limitless and absolutely free energy.

In other words, that Very Serious, Hard-Nosed Grown-Up should be concerned with using as few molecules as possible to harvest as many electrons as possible. They'd be working on things like turning disused coal-mines into giant gravity batteries:

https://www.euronews.com/green/2024/02/06/this-disused-mine-in-finland-is-being-turned-into-a-gravity-battery-to-store-renewable-ene

Not figuring out how to dig or flush more long-dead corpses out of the Earth's mantle to feed them into a furnace. That is a profoundly unserious response to the human need for energy. It's caveman shit: "Ugh, me burn black sticky gunk, make cave warm, cough cough cough."

Enter Exxon CEO Darren Woods, whose interview with Fortune's Michal Lev-Ram and editor Alan Murray contains this telling quote: "we basically focus our technology on transforming molecules and they happen to be hydrogen and carbon molecules":

https://fortune.com/2024/02/28/leadership-next-exxonmobil-ceo-darren-woods/

As Bill McKibben writes, this is a tell. A company that's in the molecule business is not in the electron business. For all that Woods postures about being a clear-eyed realist beating back the fantasies of solarpunk-addled greenies, Woods does not want a future where we have all our energy needs met:

https://billmckibben.substack.com/p/the-most-epic-and-literal-gaslighting

That's because the only way to get that future is to shift from molecules – whose supply can be owned and therefore sold by Exxon – to electrons, which that commie bastard sun just hands out for free to every person on our planet's surface, despite the obvious moral hazard of all those free lunches. As Woods told Fortune, when it comes to renewables, "we don’t see the ability to generate above-average returns for our shareholders."

Woods dresses this up in high-minded seriousness kabuki, saying that Exxon is continuing to invest in burning rotting corpses because our feckless species "waited too long to open the aperture on the solution sets terms of what we need as a society." In other words, it's just too late for solar. Keep shoveling those corpses into the furnace, they're all that stands between you and the freezing, starving dark.

Now, this is self-serving nonsense. The problem of renewables isn't that it's too late – it's that they don't "generate above-average returns for our shareholders" (that part, however, is gospel truth).

But let's stipulate that Woods sincerely believes that it is too late. It's pretty goddamned rich of this genocidal, eminently guillotineable monster to just drop that in the conversation without mentioning the role his company played in getting us to this juncture. After all, #ExxonKnew. 40 years ago, Exxon's internal research predicted climate change, connected climate change to its own profits, and predicted how bad it would be today.

Those predictions were spookily accurate and the company took them to heart, leaping into action. For 40 years, the company has been building its offshore drilling platforms higher and higher in anticipation of rising seas and superstorms – and over that same period, Exxon has spent millions lobbying and sowing disinformation to make sure that the rest of us don't take the emergency as seriously as they are, lest we switch from molecules to electrons.

Exxon knew, and Exxon lied. McKibben quotes Woods' predecessor Lee Raymond, speaking in the runup to the Kyoto Treaty negotiations: "It is highly unlikely that the temperature in the middle of the next century will be significantly affected whether policies are enacted now or 20 years from now."

When Woods says we need to keep shoveling corpses into the furnace because we "waited too long to open the aperture on the solution sets terms of what we need as a society," he means that his company lied to us in order to convince us to wait too long.

When Woods – and his fellow enemies of humanity in the C-suites of Chevron and other corpse-torching giants – was sending the arson billions to his shareholders, he held back a healthy share to fund this deceit. He colluded with the likes of Joe Manchin ("[D-POLLUTION]" -McKibben) to fill the Inflation Reduction Act with gifts for molecules. The point of fantasies like "direct air carbon-capture" is to extend the economic life of molecule businesses, by tricking us into thinking that we can keep sending billions to Exxon without suffocating in its waste-product.

These lies aren't up for debate. Back in 2021, Greenpeace tricked Exxon's top DC lobbyist Keith McCoy into thinking that he was on a Zoom call with a corporate recruiter and asked him about his work for Exxon, and McCoy spilled the beans:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/07/01/basilisk-tamers/#exxonknew

He confessed to everything: funding fake grassroots groups and falsifying the science – he even names the senators who took his bribes. McCoy singled out Manchin for special praise, calling him "a kingmaker" and boasting about the "standing weekly calls" Exxon had with Manchin's office.

Exxon's response to this nine-minute confession was to insist that their most senior American lobbyist "wasn't involved at all in forming policy positions."

McKibben points to the forthcoming book The Price Is Wrong, by Brett Christophers, which explains how the neoclassical economics establishment's beloved "price signals" will continue to lead us into the furnace:

https://www.versobooks.com/products/3069-the-price-is-wrong

The crux of that book is:

We cannot expect markets and the private sector to solve the climate crisis while the profits that are their lifeblood remain unappetizing.

Nearly 100 years ago, Upton Sinclair wrote, "It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it." Today, we can say that it's impossible to get an oil executive to understand that humanity needs electrons, not molecules, because his shareholders' obscene wealth depends on it.

Name your price for 18 of my DRM-free ebooks and support the Electronic Frontier Foundation with the Humble Cory Doctorow Bundle.

[distorted59]

A Week In San Francisco pt.2

summary: after sharing a heated kiss the night before, James and y/n are a little on edge when they visit the beach.

pairing: Kill 'Em All!James x fem!reader

warnings: nsfw/smut, fingering, handjob, unprotected sex, p in v, james likes to beg a little, cute lil' aftercare in the end

word count: 3344

A/N: sorry it took a while! honestly took me longer than expected lol. hope you enjoy it, babes! xo

part 1

✪

The fact that she even got a few hours of sleep is a fucking miracle itself. The butterflies in her stomach almost made it impossible to fall asleep. 

But, here she is. Sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee and a cigarette in her hand. She’s wearing a beach-sundress and a simple bikini underneath. And honestly, she’s really excited to go to the beach. 

Kirk shuffles into the kitchen, wearing his glasses and his hair is messy. His favorite ‘Dracula’ t-shirt is completely wrinkled and slightly raised, showing his belly. 

“Morning,” y/n grins. “I see you slept very well?”

"Mhm." Kirk kisses the top of her head and yawns. 

He goes over to the counter and pours himself a cup of coffee, he is a bit wobbly but he can still keep his balance. He goes to sit down next to y/n and smiles at her.

“How did you sleep? Did everything go okay last night?” 

She almost chokes on her coffee, but luckily she doesn’t. A slight blush creeps on her face. Y/n quickly puts out her cigarette in the ashtray in front of her and tries to hide her blush with a smile. 

“Yeah, I slept fine!” She assures him. 

"Great." Kirk moves his hand through his hair. “You know, James told me he spoke to you last night.”

“He did?” She looks into his eyes. “What did he say?” 

“That he told you we’re going to the beach today!” Kirk grins excitedly. “I see you’re all ready to go!” 

Y/n breathes out slowly through her nose. It would be kinda dumb to immediately tell a guy you kissed his sister, right? But, hey. Anything can happen with these guys. 

“Yeah, you know I love going to the beach!” 

They sit in a comfortable silence for a bit, sipping their coffee and enjoying the morning sun that is shining through the kitchen window. 

Until that is interrupted by a fucking war cry.

“Cliff! I swear to god, man! I claimed the bathroom first!” 

“You’re too slow, Hetfield!”     

Lars walks into the kitchen rolling his eyes, “Morning, guys.” He opens the refrigerator and grabs a carton of orange juice. “How did your first night in the Metallica Mansion treat you, y/n?” 

“It treated me wonderfully, thank you.” 

“Great!” He smiles. “That’s really good to hear.”

Later on, Cliff walks in with a big grin on his face. He sits down next to Kirk and looks at y/n and her cigs. “Good morning, can I?” 

“Morning! ‘Course you can.” She slides the pack towards him and he lights one. Cliff thanks her and shoots her a wink, y/n nods back and grins. 

“Dude, are you flirting with my baby sister?” Kirk leans back in his chair and raises his brows.

“Me? Oh, I wouldn’t dare.” Cliff grins, “Can’t say I’m speaking for everyone, though…” 

“Morning everybody!” James walks in, unusually cheerful for this time of the day. “Is there still some coffee left?” 

“Yeah,” Kirk says. “Over on the counter”

“Thanks, dude!” He grabs a mug and pours himself some, leaning against the counter and eying y/n curiously. 

It’s almost like she can feel it, because she turns around and smiles at James. She holds up her mug. “James?” Her voice is sickly sweet, oh yeah, today is going to be that type of day. “Could you pour me another one?”

His eyes almost popped out of his skull, he hadn’t even really noticed what she was wearing. The way she’s looking and talking to him is making James weak at the knees. 

“Y-yeah, of course!" He takes the mug from her hands and shakily pours the coffee in, trying not to spill. 

The other guys are talking about what they're planning on doing at the beach today. Kirk and Lars are arguing over something and Cliff doesn’t know what conversation he wants to keep up with. 

“Here you go.” He decides to sit next to her this time and puts on his best charms. 

“Thank you!” She grins. 

“So,” James starts. “Did you sleep okay, sweetheart?” 

Her heart skips a beat at the nickname and she looks at him without breaking eye contact.

“I slept great. How about you, sweetheart?” she grins playfully. 

“Me too, me too.” He looks into her eyes, not saying anything else. 

The argument between Kirk and Lars has quieted down and one of them lets out a cough.

“So, is everyone ready to go?” Lars speaks up. 

“Yes, more than ready.” Kirk eyes James and y/n suspiciously. “Let's get moving.” 

Everyone gets ready and grabs their stuff; towels, sunscreen, and beer. You know, the essentials. 

It’s a short walk to the beach, but the morning heat isn’t really working with them. James keeps trying to walk next to y/n, but Kirk doesn’t allow it. everytime James tries to pick up his pace, Kirk closes the gap between him and his sister. 

“What are you doing, dude?” y/n raises her brows at Kirk. 

“Just walking next to you, is that a problem?” He nudges her shoulder.

“No, but…” She starts.

“Good, we’re almost there.” Kirk cuts her off and smiles. 

They arrive at the beach and find a good spot, putting their towels down and enjoying the warm sun on their already tanned skin. 

Y/n takes off her dress and sits down on her towel, all of the boys take a quick glance at her and sit down as well. Kirk glares at the three, but doesn’t say anything. 

“Aw, man!” Kirk groans in annoyance. “We forgot the radio!” 

“What? No way, I definitely grabbed it before we left!” Cliff frowns and looks around. 

“Well, It’s not here.” Lars sighs. “We’ll go grab it.” He grabs Kirk’s arm and drags him along. 

Kirk protests and looks over at y/n, who is grinning at her brother and gives him a small wave. 

“Why do I have to come along?” He whines, but walks with Lars anyway. 

Y/n lays down and shuts her eyes. Feeling some movement beside her, she holds her hand in front of her face so that the sun won't bother her eyes, and looks up.

“Can I lay next to you?” James asks. 

“Of course!” She tries to hide her excitement. 

“Thanks, sweetheart.” He grins and lays down. 

Cliff starts laughing and lights another cigarette. He sits up and cracks open a beer. “You’re welcome, guys.” 

Both James and y/n turn to look at Cliff with confusion, this only makes him laugh more. 

“What?” He grins. “You got a little more freedom with Kirk gone, right?” 

“Dude, what the hell are you talking about?” James raises his brows.

“The radio, I hid it under my bed.” 

Y/n starts laughing too, she nudges James and hands him a bottle of sunscreen. “Could you get my back?”

“Yeah!” James' eyes widen and so does his smile. "Definitely!" 

She turns around and loosens her top, making sure he gets every inch of her back. James puts some lotion in his hands and starts putting it on her back, squeezing every curve. 

“I still don’t get the radio thing.” He whispers. 

“Babe, he’s buying us some time.”

“Babe?” James grins. “Time for… oh, oh.”

His hands go a little lower, they slide over her waist and his fingers go down to  her waist. He goes back to her shoulders and he gets closer to her ear. 

“Could you put your arms up for me, babe?”  He whispers. 

She complies as she simply can’t answer him. She wanted to reply with a snarky comeback, but she couldn't. His voice sending shivers down her spine, she can feel his breath against her hair. 

“There we go.” James gives the back of her neck a slight squeeze and his hands slide down her sides. He slowly caresses the side of her breasts and then quickly goes to her back, tying her bikini back up. “You’re all set, gorgeous.”

“Thanks.” She breathes out. Holy fucking shit, his hands feel good. 

He lays down on his stomach and scoots a little closer to her, his fingers playing with the back of her top. 

“Or do you want me to keep going?” He whispers. “I could if you let me.”

“Where are you getting all this confidence from?” She looks into his eyes, trying to read him. 

James smiles and his hand wanders lower, sliding to the side of her bikini bottom. 

“I finally figured out what I want.” 

“And that is?”

“You, y/n. I need you.” He looks at her lips. “The way your lips felt on mine is driving me crazy.” 

“Hm, you are a good kisser.” y/n smiles and turns to lay on her side. 

“So are you, baby.” He slides his hand over her waist and he stops at her hips.

For a moment, they just stare at each other, he leans closer to her face. James’ weaves his fingers between the fabric of her bottoms, his gaze wandering as he admires her curves. 

“Careful there, big guy.” She whispers, teasing him with a smirk. “We don’t want to give all these people a show here, do we?”

She glances at some beachgoers who are watching them fool around. She feels his eyes on her and turns to face him, raising an eyebrow flirtatiously.

“Hm, I don’t care.” James grins, leaning closer to her. “Please, I want you.”

“Don’t you think you need some too?” y/n grabs the sunscreen and holds it up, a mischievous smile on her face. “I wouldn't want you to get sunburned, baby” 

“Oh, you’re mean.” he groans. 

“So, you don’t want it?” She raises her brows.  

“I want… something.” James looks at her through his bangs. “Please?” 

She chuckles and lays down on her stomach again. The sun warming her skin and the waves crashing on the beach almost lull her to sleep. James huffs beside her and lays on his back. His hand creeps over her arm, tracing small circles over her soft skin. 

After a while of enjoying the sun and each other's company, Lars and Kirk finally show up with the radio.

“There you are, what the hell took you so long?” Cliff speaks up.

“Why’d you hide it under your bed, dude?” Kirk huffs, wiping his sweaty forehead with the back of his hand. 

“Dude, what?” Cliff tries to hide his smile. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, brother.”

The three bicker about the radio and y/n smiles, slowly closing her eyes again. The soft static of the radio and the crashing waves are really calming. She sighs softly and dozes off. 

Y/n wakes up a little while later, not knowing how much time has passed. Her back feels a little sore and she immediately winces, she still got burned. She looks over at James, who also fell asleep and gasps. 

“James!” She shakes him slightly. 

"Mhm?" He opens his eyes. “Yeah?” 

His entire chest and stomach are red, along with his face. This idiot didn’t apply any sunscreen at all. 

“Dude! You got burned!” Lars yells. “Like, bad!” 

“What?” James moves towards Lars and winces. “Ow, fuck! that burns.” 

“Yeah, no shit.” y/n sighs. “You are so fucking stubborn.” 

“It’s gonna hurt even more in the morning.” Kirk grimaces and looks at his sister. “You’re back looks fucked up too, sis.”

Y/n nods her head at Kirk. She stands up and puts on her dress, grabbing her stuff. 

“You have to get out of the sun, James.” She says. “I have some Aloe vera lotion in my bag at the house, you can use it.” 

James' eyes widen as he looks up at her, is this actually happening? 

“Are you going with him?” Kirk raises his brows.

“Yes, I am.” 

James doesn’t even speak, he is too busy grabbing his stuff. He’s almost like a madman, trying to find his shirt. 

“Okay,” Kirk kisses the side of her head. “Be careful.” He gives her a knowing look and squeezes her shoulder. 

“Ow!” She winces. “Kirk, that hurts!” 

“Sorry!” He chuckles. 

She walks away and nudges her head, motioning James to follow her. He doesn’t waste any time and runs after her. Lars throws him the keys to the house.

“Have fun, fuckers!” Lars yells after them.

“Dude!” Kirk groans and throws his shirt at Lars. “Please don’t!” 

James and y/n walk home together, the walk back almost seems slower than it was before. Their hands dangerously close to each other, every time their fingers brush they share a look. He shoots her a quick and excited smile and she returns it. 

James tries to unlock the front door but his hands are too shaky, eventually he gets the key in and opens it. 

“It’s in my room, come on.” She grabs his hand and pulls him down the hallway.

They both walk into her room and she pushes him to the mattress. “Sit.” 

James obliges and takes his shirt off, slightly uncomfortable with the feeling of the fabric against his sensitive skin. 

Y/n finds the lotion from her bag and walks closer to him, crawling onto the mattress and pushing him on his back. “Can I sit?” she motions to his lap.

James nods his head so hard it almost falls off. “Fuck yes, you can.” 

She smirks and straddles him, both of them letting out a quiet gasp. She can feel him hardening in his shorts and he can feel her heat. 

“Mmh” She hums softly and starts to put the lotion on his chest. 

“Ah!” He gasps. “That’s cold, y/n!” 

She giggles and continues to take care of his sunburn. Her hands slide over his chest, softly squeezing her fingers into his shoulders. James looks up at her with nothing but love in his eyes, he squeezes her hips making her moan softly. 

“Do that again.” James whispers. 

She grins and leans down to kiss his chest, making her way up to his neck. He lets out a growl and leans up, smashing his lips onto hers. She kisses him back passionately and smiles into the kiss. James’ grip on her hips tighten as he flips her around, laying her on her back. 

“James!” She gasps. “My back, remember?” 

“Don’t worry, baby.” He whispers. “I’ll take care of you.” 

He rubs the inside of her thighs and he goes a little higher, feeling how drenched her cunt already is. 

“You’re already so wet for me, baby.” He smiles and starts kissing her neck. “Gonna make you feel so good.”

“James, please…” She looks up at him, begging for him to stop teasing. 

“What? I have to prepare my girl, don’t I?” He smirks. 

She pushes him back and takes off her dress, along with her bikini top. James takes off his shorts, his cock springing free, begging for some attention. 

“Hmm, so pretty, baby.” He mutters, his eyes not leaving her breasts. “Fuck, you look perfect.”

James leaves another trail of kisses down her neck and breasts, his fingers playing with the hem of her bottoms. His other hand touching and squeezing her breast, while leaning up to kiss her lips hungrily. 

“Can I take these off, baby?” James whispers against her lips. 

“Yes, Fuck. Yes, you can.” y/n’s breath hitches in her throat. She looks up at James, her eyes glossy and her lips parted. 

He slides them off, desperate to feel her cunt around his cock. James slides his hand down her belly and starts to run circles on her clit. She gasps and reaches for his cock, starting with slow and agonizing strokes. 

“Fuck, you really like to play mean.” James stifles a moan and rubs his fingers over her folds. 

“Don’t hold your moans in, baby.” She pouts. “Wanna hear you too.” 

Y/n starts stroking him a bit faster, she feels her hand getting covered in his pre-cum. 

“Ah! ngh- Fuck!” James lets out the moan that has been stuck in his throat. “mhm! y/n… gonna… gonna prep you for me, okay?” 

She nods and kisses him again, moaning into the kiss as he slowly slides a finger into her drenching cunt. He starts finger-fucking her at a steady pace, the room is filled with sloppy wet noises and their moans. 

He adds another finger and goes faster, curling up his index and middle finger to hit the right spot. 

“Fuck, James!” She moans. “Your fingers… they… feel so good!” 

“Yeah? You like how I work my hands on you, baby?” He groans and goes faster. y/n’s hand starts tightening around his cock. 

“If you keep squeezin’ me like that, I’m not gonna last long.” James chuckles and leans down to kiss her again.

“Baby, ‘m close, please!” She moans and lets go of his cock.

“Cum on my fingers, baby.” He curls his fingers deeper into her and feels her cunt squeeze around them. All he can think about is how her pussy is gonna feel around his cock.

“Fuck!” y/n cums all over his fingers, her eyes rolling to the back of her head. 

James pulls his fingers out and sticks one of them into his mouth, tasting her juices. He lets out a delighted moan and sticks his other finger in her mouth. She sucks it clean without a single thought, looking up at him through her lashes. 

“Wanna be inside you…” He mumbles. “Please?” His face gets a little more flushed. 

“It’s cute that you ask so nicely.” She smiles up at him and guides his cock to her drenched pussy. “You gonna fuck me good, baby?”

“Mhm.” He slides his cock over her folds. “Gonna fuck you so good, baby.” 

He slowly pushes it inside of her and starts bucking his hips into her. Y/n cries out in pleasure, he’s hitting all the right spots. James leans down to kiss her again and thrusts a little faster. 

“Fuck!” James whines. “Been wanting to feel this pussy for so long!” He almost starts crying with how good it feels, how good she’s making him feel.

“James…” She moans “Keep going like that, please!” 

“I will, baby. I will.”

She doesn’t feel the sunburn on her back anymore, she only feels the incredible amount of pleasure James is giving her. She wraps her legs around his waist which makes James pound into her even harder. 

“Gettin’ close, baby.” James whispers against her neck. “I’m gonna need to pull out.” 

She just nods, she doesn’t care what he does to her. She just wants to cum around his cock. 

His thrusts are getting sloppier, meaning he’s gonna cum soon. He lets out some more strained moans and whimpers. 

“Gonna… gonna cum.” He pants.

“Me too, baby.” y/n whimpers.

He makes her cum, her stomach exploding with pleasure. She’s almost seeing stars with how hard she’s squeezing her eyes shut. James lets out a grunt and quickly pulls out, finishing all over her stomach. He keeps fucking his fist to ride out his high. 

“Shit…” James breathes heavily. 

“Yeah…” Her chest moves up and down, trying to calm down from the pure ecstacy sensation.

“I’m sorry for the mess.” James has a stupid grin on his face, but that can’t hide the tremendous blush which reappears on his face. “Let me clean you up.”

He grabs one of the beach towels that were scattered on the floor and starts wiping her stomach. He throws the towel on the ground and lays down on her chest. 

“You were amazing, baby.” y/n smiles and kisses him tiredly. 

“So, were you, babe.” James smiles into the kiss. 

They lay in each other's arms for a while, enjoying the comfortable silence between them. He has pulled her into his arms and they are softly caressing each other. 

“Can I sleep here with you tonight?” He whispers.

“What do you think, baby?” She giggles. “You just screwed me silly, of course you can.” 

[chaithetics]

I love your writing so much and looking forward to more of your Stewy work!!! Can’t wait ! ❤️

Chance Meetings

Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x f Roy reader

Word count: 1.8K

Content warning: mentions of drug use/addiction, some flirting fluff.

authors note: hasn't been proofread, ended up not being the biggest fan of this one but maybe others will hopefully enjoy it. It's how the original idea of Roy reader and Stewy getting together started and then went along. Shout out to a previous nonnie for the berry idea, it'll definitely make more appearances in the future. I know the show itself has a very loose/not super defined timeline other than the fourth season but this is set before the show starts FYI :)

Also thank you Elle! That's so kind of you, I hope you enjoy this and future pieces! There's more coming!

You’d done the un-Roy thing as much as you could for a significant part of your life, you didn’t go to business school, you went to grad school to become a clinical psychologist. Like Connor, you didn’t do the college to living in New York and working at Waystar or a linked profession pipeline. 

You didn’t necessarily think of yourself as the California girl, you certainly weren’t the poster child for that. But after graduating you’d moved to San Francisco and had practiced there. It was the perfect antithesis of the life in New York that your siblings were living that you had no interest in. 

Well, it had been. 

You’d recently left that life for one in New York. Kendall had been going through the wringer lately. It was just over a week ago since he’d left rehab and his marriage with Rava was falling apart. You knew that Rava couldn’t be his only support system, it wasn’t realistic or fair and you frankly didn’t trust your family to be in Kendall’s corner. 

You were heading up to Kendall’s apartment to check in on him and to prepare for a night that would be awful. You’d been able to skip out on these types of events for most of your adult life but Kendall felt an obligation to attend in an attempt to try and get into your father’s graces. You were going with Kendall as  moral support to an entitled gala that Waystar was funding. 

“Wow, Dr. Roy, look at you. What a pleasure to have you amongst the green-eyed capitalists.”

You turned your head in the direction of the voice, you’d recognise that playful tone anywhere, it was Stewy Hosseini. You hadn’t seen him in a few years but as always, he was in a suit tailored perfectly for him and he looked gorgeous. 

“Well, I can’t really say anything with a biting wit, can I? I’m here and I benefit from it all anyway.” You respond looking at his amused gaze, it’s not cruel but it’s like he knows something you don’t. 

“Yeah but you look great though. You do benefit from it, I mean, look at the blood from the human sacrifices in your father’s honour. They’re keeping you young, treating your face and figure well.” He has a smirk on his face as he speaks and you chuckle. His brow furrows slightly and his tone becomes serious. “Wait, wait a second.” Stewy wets his thumb with his tongue somewhat dramatically but still realistically as he wipes at something on your chin. 

“Wait, what is it? How long was it there for?” You immediately ask, embarrassed that there was probably a mark of lipstick or maybe food there. Although the gentle touch of his thumb on your chin makes you relax for some reason. 

“Just a bit of a blood splatter from the sacrifices. I’m sure it wasn’t there long.” Stewy saws moving his hand away and chuckling, you scoff. 

“Wow, smooth.” You respond and his smirk just grows. “Well, looking pretty dapper yourself Hosseini.” 

“Oh, I know.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I know you think I look hot.” Stewy says so confidently, you look at him incredulously for a second but end up smirking, he’s being as playful as ever but he doesn’t seem high. 

“Cocky as ever.” 

“Just a fact.” You look at Stewy’s face, he’s being his usual playful self but there’s a gentleness there, something in his eyes that you’re not sure you’ve seen before. You look into his eyes and for a moment think about Kendall, he’s been in the bathroom longer than you’d like. 

You’re tempted to go into the men’s room yourself but you know that Kendall wouldn’t appreciate that if nothing was going on. You focus back on Stewy’s eyes, he’s always had gorgeous, warm brown eyes. They’re not dramatically blown out, diluted. You’re more confident that he’s not high. You put a hand gently on his arm. 

“Stewy?” His smirk fades a bit as he takes in your more serious tone and expression. 

“Yeah?” 

“Can you do me a favour?” “Of course.”

“Can you um, Kendall’s in the uh bathroom… He’s been in there for a while.” You say quietly. He gives you a small smile and nods. 

“Yeah, of course.” Your hand is still on his arm, he looks at it briefly and smiles at the touch, he places his hand briefly on the small of your waist for a comforting second as he walks off to check on Kendall. 

You watch Stewy as he walks off and you feel a little anxious. Kendall had been gone for a few minutes and you know that you can’t be a helicopter sister but you do worry about him at an event like this. 

After a few moments you see Kendall and Stewy coming out of the bathroom making their way over to where you stand. You feel a flood of relief, Kendall looks depressed still but he doesn’t look high. 

“Hey Ken.” You give him a small hug and look at his face, trying to search his eyes. 

“I didn’t, just the  mirror cry.” He says dryly, knowing what you’re searching for in him. Stewy looks at you with a sad nod to confirm and mouths he’s good. You give Stewy a grateful smile then redirect your attention to Kendall again and nod with a smile. 

“Do you wanna go home?” You ask, your brother looks exhausted. “We’ve been here long enough, dad’s seen you. You’ve talked to people. It’s already been a long night.” You continue knowing that if he wants to he’ll need validation to feel okay about it. 

“Uh yeah, sure.” He says looking down. “Thanks Stewy.” Stewy just gently claps him on the back and nods. 

“I can stay with you tonight, if you like?” You ask and Kendall nods. You mouth a thank you at Stewy as you and Kendall leave the gala. 

As you and Kendall sit in the car you take your heels off. 

“Bump into Stewy?” Kendall asks looking at you riredly. 

“Uh yeah. He came over for pleasantries before finding you.” 

“I don’t think many would associate Stewy with pleasantries.” Kendall says with a small chuckle. 

“Sure he’s cocky but he’s always polite.” You reply eying Kendall. 

“You know what I meant.” Kendall said. 

“Uh-huh.” You laugh a little. “Lot more pleasant than Roman’s friends.” 

“I only surround myself with the best company.” Kendall teases, looking a little less down. 

“I know, that’s why I’m here. Your favourite sibling.” You tease. 

“Don’t tell Shiv that.” 

“Never, Kendall Roy.” 

*************

You’d stayed the night at Kendall’s bachelor apartment, you’d fallen asleep on the couch and you were now woken up by voices only a few feet away. You looked up and saw Kendall casually dressed and Stewy once again in a well tailored suit, looking devlishly handsome. You’d always known he was attractive but he just seemed to age like a fine wine. 

The two men had been standing in the open floor layout talking and then Kendall noticed that you were awake now and that Stewy had also noticed. Kendall quickly realised that Stewy’s gaze had focused on you pretty quickly and Kendall wasn’t sure if he’d seen Stewy ever look at anyone like that. 

“Get changed.” Kendall quickly said. Stewy looked at him with raised eyebrows and you looked perplexed. 

“Excuse me?” “Get changed. Now. Scoot, scram. We have company.”

You rolled your eyes and got up, Stewy did his best to keep his attention on Kendall and not watch you leave. This wasn’t the first time you’d spent the night at Kendall’s lately so you conveniently had clothes here, hence having slept in nightwear. 

When you come back out you can hear the shower going so you assume Stewy has left but you then see Stewy leaning against the kitchen island, scrolling on his phone. 

“Morning.” You greet him and he looks up from his phone, placing it down gently. His eyes are even dreamier in daylight than what you remembered. 

“Good morning. Oh wow, clothes and underwear. How nice.” He teases. 

“I know, a bra with underwire and everything.” You tease back which makes him chuckle dryly. 

“I’m a fan with or without the support Dr. Roy.” He says with a wink. 

“Somebody’s quite the flirt lately.” 

“Always, for you.” You smile at him and walk over to Kendall’s fridge, where there of course is no berries, sighing as soon as you realise. “I didn’t come empty-handed. You walked right past the bagels and smoothies, had to physically restrain your brother from not touching your berry smoothie. You know, it had the most ludicrous name?” Stewy answers, as if he’d read your mind when you’d opened the fridge. 

“How did you even remember that?” You ask in shock as you pick up the smoothie and take a generous sip. 

“I’ve spent a lot of time around the Roys.” He says softly looking at you. 

“I’m surprised that you remember, that’s-it’s sweet Stewy.” 

“You’re not hard to forget. It’s been what 2?3?4 years?” He asks stepping closer to you. 

“I think 3.” 

“Huh.” He says almost to himself, as he wets his thumb again and wipes at a spot on your face. 

“What? More blood splatter this time?” You ask. He chuckles and shakes his head. “No, smoothie.” He says, holding his thumb out for you to see the little bit of purple he’d wiped off you. He then presses it to his mouth, to clean his thumb. You watch him and just can’t get over how attractive and sweet he is. 

“If you were that desperate for some of the berry smoothie you didn’t need to do that. You could’ve asked.” You tease in a whisper as your eyes stay on his lips. 

“Oh really?” 

“I would’ve said yes.” 

“Can I?” 

You nod and Stewy puts one hand on the small of your waist and the other gently cups your cheek. You relax into the touch and then his lips press against yours, it’s an amazing feeling. The kiss is so gentle yet also has passion in it. It stops though when you hear the shower turn off. 

“I need you to return last night’s favour.” “Oh?” You ask, feeling surprised at the timing. 

“Dinner with me?” 

“But-” 

“I know a million quiet places, nobody will find out. It won’t leak or get back to your family and overcomplicate things. Indulge me?” 

“You’re surre you can pull that off Hosseini?” 

“For tonight sure.” You laugh at him and nod, “Sure.” Stewy takes a sip from the smoothie you’d been drinking earlier. 

“Hmm. Just what I thought?” “What?” 

“Tastes better on your lips.” He says confidently with a wink, you scoff and go to respond before you see Kendall coming out.

[zombiekombi-if]

Care to share some facts about the ROs?

Yeah sure! Random facts out of the top of my head. (Because I dive into kissing/intimacy in this one, if you want more of a NSFW themed ask please let me know :))

How Ngam

How might act really above it all, like he doesn't give a shit about people, but he's secretly always giving provisions and equipment to other survivors in San Francisco. How loves being around people despite acting like a loner lol. If your MC ever comments on that, he will deny it. Immediately.

How loves hunting and will look up to an MC who's great at it. You could become sort of hunting partners together, also trading with each other and others. Think Katniss and Gale.

Your MC could kind of form a #vanlife with How. He's the previous (not the first) owner, and if MC is willing to be with him, you'll quickly become van-roommates.

How likes affection in private- (no pda because he will die of embarrassment over having feelings in front of other people) and he will go from Mr. I'm-So-Tough to soft guy who just wants more kisses secretly (and impatiently). Because he's too stubborn to say what he wants, he'll frequently let your MC take the lead, but don't get it twisted, How will be insistent on more.

He'll do so using body language in these scenarios, quick kisses and nudges into your MC's neck, but more in a needy, grumpy way, like he's embarrassed that he has to show that he wants more. Your MC could tease him about this.

Despite How not always taking the lead, if he can tell your MC is in a bad mood, he will give them one quick, firm hug, just to see your MC smile or feel better.

Dylan Chase

She's a massive worry-wart and generally kind of blunt about it. Dylan will constantly talk about the ways people can die, not just zombie related ailments but everything from having indigestion to emergency amputations. She's just looking out for your MC though. Dylan cares a lot, and she'll tell you as much, she's just kind of different about it.

Dylan is not really a hunter at all. She's done it a couple times so she'll be really impressed if your MC is great at it, but feel similar and relieved if you're both the same level. Despite that, she knows if she wants to be self sufficient from the PAA settlement, she's going to have to learn. You can teach her if you're better than her.

Despite Dylan seeming to be cautious- she's extremely positive and really believes in love as a healing power. So she'll constantly kiss and cuddle with your MC, lots of big, long hugs, trying her best to keep the two of you happy. She will absolutely take the lead and be eager if you're just as willing too. She loves random pecks on your MC's face, but she's also very pent-up and will take it out on your MC if you let her.

Dylan likes pinning down people. Easier to control and safer if she can be the one to make all the spicy choices, lol.

Dylan loves brushing her hair, so if your MC indulges her on this, and brushes her hair, scratches her scalp, the works, Dylan will probably never let them go.

Gloor

Gloor is strangely very talkative. Well, not through speech, but if your MC gives him a notebook and pen, he'll babble through written speech for ages. He'll tell your MC everything about his day to what he's seen, good places in the city for tech, people who ran from him recently (🥹) and how he's feeling. He'll ask if your MC is okay too, and it's almost like there's a small smile on his face when he writes that down.

Gloor loathes hunting and while he understands your MC does what they must in this world, he absolutely doesn't like talking about it. He has had too many bad experiences of people chasing him down, thinking he's the same as any feral zombie. He feels upset if your MC treats him similar to an animal of sorts, wild and unpredictable.

Gloor is so surprised if your MC is affectionate to him. Obviously he's not used to it- he only witnesses people running away from him, and if they get to care about him, they keep some physical distance anyways. If your MC tries to kiss him, he'll most likely stumble away in surprise, and quickly write a note in a messy scrawl stating "are you sure?"

He'll keep shoving your MC away with the note. It's not that he doesn't want to kiss your MC, it's just that he's sure you'll regret it. Gloor can remember being in love back when he was alive, and he doesn't see it playing out the same way now. If your MC is insistent, though, he'll melt in a shuddery, drawn out kiss, where he can't quite let go despite his lack of lips and expertise, and he'll realize what he was missing out on all this time. Then your MC might not be able to pry him off.

Gloor will be really surprised to find that your MC enjoyed it. Despite the way he's so clearly rotting and your MC is so healthy.

Alia Jacobs

Alia is great at speaking, and she's extremely extroverted. You get the sense she would be a great public speaker if that still existed. She's into pop culture, yes, but Alia also loves just finding more about anything. She's really curious and will ask your MC tons of questions about their background.

She's also full of trivia and fun facts. She'll share tidbits here and there- it's endearing when no one else has her knowledge or nerdy disposition to share these things.

Alia is also great at hunting. She knows about in theory- so she's genuinely to surprised to find her application of that theory being great. She can be a hunting duo with your MC- but they may butt heads based on disagreements of the "best way" to do things, if your MC is also great at hunting.

Alia isn't used to being pursued romantically at all. But she's very open to it, especially spending years alone in her cabin. She's a bit shy and not sure of herself if your MC tries to kiss her or be intimate with her. It's not like Alia, because typically she's got pride to spare, but in this case she doesn't want to be too out there if your MC ends up rejecting her. It's not like hunting, either, because to Alia your MC isn't someone she's trying to kill.

Slow, tentative kisses are the way to go with Alia. She needs reassurance that your MC is going to stay with her and she won't be alone.

Despite Alia being a bit of a blabbermouth, she will be happy if your MC shuts her up with kissing or other things during intimate moments.

[whatevergreen]

“You Can Have Fun Too” poster, created by Mick Hicks for SFAF, 1984

"In 1984, Rick Crane, director of the (San Francisco AIDS Foundation) at the time, hired famed local photographer Mick Hicks to photograph two men for a safe-sex poster to be put in the city’s gay bars, baths, and other locations. Hicks worked for virtually all the LGBTQ newspapers in the Bay Area and had spent a year and a half photographing people with AIDS, chronicling their struggle with the disease. He quickly accepted the commission.

At the same time, a young Black man named Robert Gray, a native San Franciscan raised in the Bayview Hunter’s Point area of the city, and a proud sixth-generation descendant of the Georgetown 272 (a group of 272 African slaves who were sold, in 1838 by the Jesuit priests who ran George University to keep the school afloat), was rather well known in the Castro and Tenderloin areas. “I had started meeting and dating guys in my junior year in high school,” he told me. “I went to high school four or five blocks from the Castro. I would find my way up through the bar scene during that time, sneaking into gay bars and discos.” Of course, he realized that AIDS was rampant through the city.

One day, as 24-year-old Robert wandered down Castro Street, a man approached him and asked if he would pose for a photo for a safe-sex poster for San Francisco AIDS Foundation. “The gentleman advised me that a young photographer named Mick Hicks was looking for two subjects, one Black male and one white male, for the poster. Having seen so many of my personal friends succumb to this deadly virus, I felt it was something I needed to do to help stop the spread of this horrific disease. I asked myself, ‘Why not?’ With AIDS affecting so many of my gay brothers and sisters, I felt it was my responsibility to do something to contribute to AIDS awareness and prevention. I needed to take action, whatever I could do to be a voice of action and help my community.” He agreed on the spot to do the poster.

“You Can Have Fun (and be safe too)” read the final poster. The image that Hicks created featured Robert, shot from the back, embracing a white model (Hicks’ partner Nick Cuccia), his white arm and bubble-butt standing out prominently against Robert’s skin. Even the Chronicle columnist Herb Caen took notice of the photo. The sex-positive message of the poster advocated “mutual masturbation,” “erotic massage,” “imagination and fantasies,” and “limiting social drugs.” The poster portrayed and promoted gay sex as normal, expected behavior, and emphasized the pleasure that could be had while still protecting oneself against transmission of the virus. The poster caused a huge sensation and started appearing in gay bars, discos, and bathhouses from San Francisco to New York. Mr. Gray told me, “As the young kids would say today, ‘it went viral,’ no pun intended!”

(Castro, San Francisco postcard, 1984)

Regrettably, the poster also launched a two-pronged backlash, one prong based in religious prudery, the other in racism.

By asserting that gay sex could be both fun and safe, the poster was the first to portray gay sex as normal, healthy, and fun. Even before AIDS, gay sex had been viewed as aberrant, “unnatural.” As an offshoot of that prejudice, AIDS was thought by many as a visitation of the wrath of God on immoral men who were violating God’s law. How many times did we hear in the early 1980s, “At least AIDS is killing all the right people”? The poster’s sex-positive message was condemned as an affront to decency and family values.

Even more lamentably, the poster inadvertently shone a light on the racial animus within San Francisco’s gay community. As Rick Crane told the Bay Area Reporter in 2014, “Gays as a group were considered second-class citizens and, ironically, gays themselves were treating gay blacks the same way — as second-class citizens.” Although racial tensions had eased somewhat from the flashpoints of the ‘60s and ‘70s, there was still a clear racial divide in the bars in the Castro. The Pendulum was the Castro’s only gay bar where black men and white men went comfortably to meet; the other Castro bars catered primarily to whites. The Trap, located in the Tenderloin district, also catered to interracial couples. Thus, some of the bars and other establishments refused to display the poster, deeming it “unacceptable.” Regarding the response to the poster, Gray said, “I would go into bars, and I would hear the chatter amongst people about the poster. I heard some really positive things, but also some really negative, racially motivated things.

(Below: "Thyrell And Chris Outside The Pendulum Bar SF", 1986 by Jim James aka Photojimsf)

“At the time that I did the poster,” he continued, “I had no idea that it would be so controversial. Honestly, had I known this upfront, I might not have done it. But looking back on it now, I would do it again because it was the right thing to do.” But still, he laments, “Who would have thought that a photo would open my eyes to the racism within the gay community? We are so much more alike as a people than different. One would think we could get along better and come together for a cause greater than us individually. Being a proud Black gay man, I must fight harder than most for myself and for those who come after me.”

These days, Robert Gray is still that proud Black gay man who changed the face of safe-sex advocacy. Sixty-two years old now, nearly forty years since he posed for the SFAF poster, he is semi-retired and lives in Vallejo, California. He is now a widower, having lost his partner of 42 years (his husband since 2013). He remains quite proud of the poster to this day, even if that pride is somewhat tempered by what he considers a lack of recognition for his work. “I thought over time I would see the poster in the gay pride parades or that I would be given some special honor from major players in the movement, like GLAAD. There is still a lot of racism in the gay community.”

Adapted from a February 18, 2022 article by Hank Trout:

https://www.sfaf.org/collections/status/why-did-a-safe-sex-poster-spark-controversy-in-1984/

[hrsrabbitcenter]

(San Francisco, California) Hi, I’m Sybil, a 4-year-old female black American bunny, and I’m on the hunt for my forever family! 🐰💕

I’ve had two wonderful years with my current family, and I’ve been so loved, but sadly, due to allergies, they can’t keep me anymore. I’m going to miss them a lot. 😔

I’m a healthy, fully desexed, and vaccinated bunny, and I’ve never had any health issues. I’m also litter trained and super house-friendly!

I’m a quiet girl who enjoys a good mix of relaxing and splooting, and excited zoomies. During the workday, while you take calls, I’ll be napping cozily near you, safe knowing you’re close by. Every morning, I eagerly greet my family to ask where breakfast is (hehehe). I’m curious and love to explore new environments, but I’m also a bit shy when you approach too quickly. Give me a little time, and I’ll come to you for pats and treats. I’ll even give you gentle nudges when I’m feeling affectionate. Oh, and if you have some hay treats, apple slices, or dill, we’ll be instant best friends! 🍏🌿

I’m in San Francisco right now but my family can drive me a few hours to my new home.

I’ve been so well-loved that I come with all my favorite toys, a castle fort to sleep in, a travel carrier, about a year’s worth of hay, and a few months’ supply of litter and pellets. If you think you could be my new family, I’d love to meet you! Please email tam.zezan@gmail.com or text 415-828-2977 to get in touch.

[toadallytickles]

My Dream Session with Spiffytickler

So I had the absolute honour of meeting and playing with the bondage master, *thee @spiffytickler.* I have been a huge fan of his work for years and dreamed of playing with him.. still so surreal that he’s a fan of me too and flew me out to torture me~. 

My biggest fantasies and desires are clit tickling, clit focused sessions- like David Mack (The Tickle Channel) style; the girls bound and spread open vulnerable, and have their clits tortured with feathers and toys, edged over and over, then forced to orgasm. My obsession with it is so bad that they are the only videos I get off too. I haven’t experienced play like that before and always dreamed of it. I would drive myself crazy and desperate just imagining what it would feel like to be in that position. Fortunately, Spiffy is very experienced with that style of play, and he’s vetted with references. An absolute dream come true to be spoiled to a pedicure and a Brazilian wax to have my body prepared, to be flown down, given my own hotel room, and then tortured just how I wanted to be.

I’ve never gotten a Brazilian before (but always had a desire to), I’ve never flown internationally alone before, and into a new state, and Spiffy would only be the second person to play with me naked. All new things I would be experiencing~. 

Also the night I flew into the San Francisco airport, the moon was full, big, and coloured orange; it was gorgeous~.  

After we check into my hotel room, I have a quick rinse in the shower, and Spiffy rubs and worships my feet as we negotiate boundaries, our sessions, what will be happening, and what to expect. He wants to explore me a little too.. I lay facedown on the bed as he starts with my feet and works his way up, his fingers uncovering my tickle spots. I eventually flip over onto my back for him to play with me more. We keep the play light this night as it was late, and we both had lots of preparation to do for the next day. 

On Saturday, I wait anxiously and patiently in my hotel room as Spiffy prepares for our session. I’m an early riser and had all the time to pamper and get myself ready to be tied naked and vulnerable in front of him. I knew I was going to be naked for the session and consented to that, I wanted that too- though nakedness, exposing your entire self is very intimate to me. Clay is the only person to play with me naked, Spiffy would only be second- I wanted to look great and feel confident naked in front of him. He offers that I can get delivery or room service to feed myself, but my stomach is so full of anxious butterflies it’s hard to eat. I do take advantage of the wonderful natural light coming in the big hotel window- I don’t usually get a hotel room all to myself; I took a lot of nudes and feet pics~. Spiffy finally picks me up and treats me to bubble tea. Back at his place, he has me relax on his couch to rub and worship my feet as we negotiate our sessions while chill lofi music plays in the background. I get a glimpse of the iconic bed where you get tied to and tortured- so surreal I was where it all happens! Saturday’s session would consist of me bound spread eagle, face up, tape gagged, blindfolded, and wearing earplugs. My safewords were through my hands, 1 finger on each hand being yellow, and 2 being red. The first part of the session would be basically a test, to explore my body, observe my reactions, make note of how I respond to this and that. All to prepare for the next part of the session; the *Torture Timer.* We negotiate here what I want and for how long. I believe I said I wanted 90 minutes of edging and denial, 20 minutes of forced orgasms, and 20-30 minutes of tickling. In this time frame, I would not be allowed to safeword. I bring up that while I’m so excited to be experiencing my biggest fantasies with him, a part of me is nervous that I’ll feel too overstimulated and can’t take it, or won’t react a certain way as I tend to tense up with new people (I’m a pretty anxious sub). Spiffy reassures me that he has a lot of experience with this type of play, and he knows every body is different and reactions will vary. He usually introduces this type of play with those who have never experienced it, and is happy to do so; he’s probably the best person to explore this with~. Also, the goal is to fulfill this fantasy of mine. While he is a Top Dom and likes to play sadistically, he is pleasure-focused and wants to give the sub what they want; he wants to fulfill these erotic fantasies to those who want it, and grants it in a safe setting. I wanted this, I wanted to play sensory deprived with no safeword, and he was granting me that.

I have a quick rinse in the shower and come out with just a towel wrapped around me. I cling to it as it would soon be coming off and he would see me raw. Spiffy has me stand at the end of the bed, facing it. With him standing right behind me, he darkens and dulls the lights, then strips the towel away from me. I appreciated how considerate he was here, to darken the room so I wouldn’t be self conscious. I’m instructed to lay face-down on the bed. He gives me a warm oil massage to soften and relax me. Some spots tickle as he goes over them with his hands. That alone, I already feel wetness between my legs, leaked onto the towel I laid on.

After a nice massage, he has me sit at the end of the bed to put a blindfold on me, and gives me earplugs to put in. Then he wraps tape around my head so everything is snug and in place. I’m then instructed to lay on the bed and get into position to finally be placed in the infamous Spiffy bondage. Once I’m all in, Spiffy puts a few pieces of tape over my mouth to gag me. It finally starts to set in- I’m in my favourite position, open, vulnerable just how I’ve dreamed, and unable to see, hear, or say anything; I am just a toy, a body to be tortured. It starts off with light tickles with his fingers over all my spots, learning my spots, seeing me squirm very little in his strict bondage. Then he sets the Torture Timer. I was finally experiencing what I have fantasized for years~! His fingers investigate and rub my clit- it’s embarrassing as now he’s the second person to touch me like that, but I can’t hide. He then teases my pussy with a single feather, slowly around it, and gradually towards it. The feather is already wet and cool from how wet I was. Then two different makeup brushes stoke over my clit, up and down. This is what I’ve always wanted~. As an anxious sub, I am really good at blocking out what is happening to me, as a part of me tries to deny it like I don’t deserve it. Like I feel too needy the Dom is only doing this for me and not enjoying it themselves. But the strokes were so soft and teasy, hitting sensitive parts on my clit that it would snap me back into the session.. and it wasn’t stopping.. just continuing at its own pace.. and I just had to lay there, open and forced to take it. *Swoon~* No matter how much I squirm and thrust away, the soft bristles don’t leave my clit alone. By surprise he presses the vibrating Eroscillator against my clit, up and down, pressing it into extra sensitive, overstimulating places that make me shift around. Then I hear a familiar, triggering hum- the Pursonic explores my body and uncovers more of my tickle spots to Spiffy, I can’t help it, it’s one of my favourite tools~. It was absolutely awful having it over my hips that were tightly bound down, there was no struggle or getting away. Something then slides into me.. (I am still exploring penetration with toys and body parts, I enjoy it and it feels good, but I definitely prefer external play and have way more experience with it).. the Lelo 2 finds its way inside of me, I make a noise in shock as I wasn’t expecting it, but it’s quickly adjusted into the most magical spot… my body immediately melts and gives into the sensation.. I feel pleasure just radiate from within my pelvis.. he has the toy placed in the perfect spot that helps bring me towards an edge.. then a strong vibration encapsulates my clit- the new toy sucks it up and captures me. I own a Satisfyer Pro 2- this was the Lora DiCarlo Baci, and I fell absolutely in love with it~. Now my clit was being pleasured from both ends, and it drove me wild. Vulnerable and wide open, only to have your most intimate, and sensitive spot focused on and forced to take it..~. My body heats up and trembles as I approach the edge, it feels so good~ I usually announce when I’m close so I don’t go over the edge. As I’m about to cum I attempt to talk through the gag for the first time to warn Spiffy I was about to, how I was trained to, but he ignores me, he ignores my panicked blabbering under the tape and I have my first forced orgasm. The tight straps keep me in place as immense pleasure surges through my body- I tremble and squirm against the restraints as the toys are kept on me. Then I’m subjected to tickles with fingers and the Pursonic, while I still come down from the first orgasm, and all my nerves are heightened. It remains this pattern; forcing orgasms out of me and tickling me in-between. I physically feel myself drop down into levels of subspace. On my fourth orgasm, the Lelo and Lora gang up on me again, and I squirt (more like gush) via someone else for the first time. I realize on my 5th one, I’m drenched with sweat and hot, I’m soaked between my legs.

Spiffy removes my gag and the session is over.. I was not done yet honestly.. but that could be my subspace talking, and we negotiated a time limit. Spiffy let’s me know I squirted twice, and that the session was 2 and a half hours. There was no way, it went by so fast.. too fast- to me it felt like 45 minutes. I was genuinely shocked. I just lay there as he frees me, zonked out, exhausted. I’m not sure what to really think but, I can’t believe I endured that.. did all of that.. with the SpiffyTickler. He kisses and plays with my feet as he tells me I did a good job. I just have to lay there as sitting up makes me dizzy, but we talk about the session, how we felt, and our favourite parts. He gives me back and foot rubs as we order sushi for delivery as that’s what I was craving. Then we watch the newest season of Rick and Morty as we eat it~. The night ends when he drops me off at the hotel I’m staying at- I’m excited to just crawl into bed and just pass out, the whole session and the sensations on repeat in my mind.. I craved more~.

(This is where I randomly took a 3 month break from writing this whoops sorry I’ll wrap it up)

Sunday would be dedicated to content-making and being bound in other infamous Spiffy positions. On my own in the morning I make a trip to Target for breakfast and snacks! Spiffy grabs me in the afternoon and treats me to Starbucks. Back at his place we negotiate what will be going on, including taking me back to the airport. As I’ve never been to California before, and I love sightseeing, Spiffy offers to take me on a scenic route to the airport, and even drive through San Francisco for me to see the Golden Gate Bridge, the Painted Ladies, and those iconic San Francisco houses. (I got a gorgeous sunset video of us crossing over the Golden Gate Bridge~)

The first position he puts me in is the facedown Y-position with my feet tightly secured together. Then I’m positioned face up and mummified-bound in straps, arms to my sides in arm-binders, with my feet stuck in stocks and toes secured back. This is the session I truly had no safeword as Spiffy put my hands in bondage mitts, my safeword signals were with my fingers. This is also the session where Spiffy used his mouth to give me mouth tickles and suck on my nipples.. h oly fuck his mouth and lips were so soft omg… I pretty much lost it when he sucked my nipples and played with my clit, but I had so little room to struggle and thrust. I get frustrated during this session as Spiffy teases and overstimulates me but I can’t edge or get close. I’m extremely picky about the positions I’m in, and can’t cum with my legs closed or close together (I probably can, I’m just spoiled lol). I whine enough through the tape gag that Spiffy takes it off me, and I tell him that I can cum if my legs are spread open. I am truly spoiled as Spiffy invents a brand new position out of his bondage just for me to be able to cum~. I’m in an upside-Y-position, my upper body still bound in straps, hands still in bondage mitts at my sides, but my legs were bound and spread open to the edges of the bed. He doesn’t re-tape my mouth, so I get to moan as loud as I want, all for him.. because of him. 

I have no idea how to end this.. though this was an incredible, wonderful, dreamy experience and opportunity.. I still can’t believe I actually met up with Spiffy and played with him and got put in all those positions AND lived out my biggest tickle fantasy~. I’ve been a massive fan of his content for years, I’ve dreamed of meeting up and playing, and IT HAPPENED!! I had a tickle crush on him, and now I think I actually have a bit of a crush on him after being tortured by him~. One of the biggest highlights of 2022 for me. 2 days was not enough.. that weekend went by way too fast. And I’m still craving and desperate for more. 

Spiffy, thank you so so much again for spoiling me, and pampering me, and giving me my dream session~. You made me feel safe, so comfortable, and seen. You really boosted my confidence and self esteem too. You go above and beyond to care for your subs; I appreciate the ways you put me at ease as this was so new to me. This was all so honouring! Can’t believe you’re a fan of me and my content aH!! I’m happy to now be a play reference for you! Thank you for being part of my kink journey.❤️

[captainsy-cookiemonster]

Fruit headcanons - Fruit they love, fruit they hate

This is based on a conversation with the lovely @wolvesandhoundshowltogether. The credit for August’s love for sinful red fruits goes to Marta as well. Thank you for indulging in my silliness, baby ❤️ in a summer mood. Summer=fruits! 🍑🍒🍓

no warnings, this is all sfw ❤️

🥝🍏🥥🍎🍐🍊🍋🍌🍉🍇🍓🫐🍈🍒🍑🥭🍍

Mike likes peaches. They’re juicy and sweet, almost like candy. He prefers nectarines though, the skin is less fuzzy. He also likes watermelon, strawberries and cherries. He only touches apples in the shape of apple pie. He doesn’t like many fruits to begin with, but he absolutely despises grapes, blueberries and raspberries, because each time he tried them as a kid, they always were mushy. And he would never in his life touch a banana. ...Is pizza a fruit?

Sy loves peaches, obviously. They’re his favourite. Otherwise he’s not picky. Apricots are in his top ten. But he doesn’t like… absolutely hates citrus. The taste is okay, but he hates the texture.

Walter on the other hand loves citrus. Oranges, tangerines, grapefruit, even pomelo. He loves them all. He also really likes mangos and figs. Hates watermelons. It tastes like sweet cucumber to him… No thanks, he’ll pass.

August likes fruits that are red and sinful. Cherries, pomegranate are among his favourites. He also really likes both pink grapefruit and pink pineapple. Passion fruit, too. Not sure if it counts as fruit, but he hates, absolutely despises coconut.

Geralt likes the fruit he can find on the Path. They are rare, but he is always happy to find raspberries, blueberries, blackberries, the occasional apple or pear when he passes an orchard. And for obvious reasons, he likes gooseberries. It’s not that he hates it, but he doesn’t like fruits that are more exotic than what he is used to. Call it caution. He can never know if the fruit is poisonous… or if he is allergic to it. He learned that the hard way… he curses those cherries!

Will likes papayas, mangos, oranges, pineapples, peaches, grapes… you name it. In sunny San Francisco, he takes every fruit he can get his hands on. Running between meetings, the juicy treats are a welcome refreshment. He makes sure to always keep some pre-cut in the little fridge he has in his office. He hates plums, though.

Napoleon likes tropical fruits. The less known it is, the better! Lychees and dragon fruit are among his favourites.Star fruits, dates and mangosteen are a luxury he got used to. But don’t get him to try kiwi. He hates kiwi.

Clark tries hard to pass as human. His favourite fruits are those considered the favourite fruits of most of humanity. Apples, bananas, mangos. He might include in a conversation that tomatoes and olives are fruits. He likes those too. He could never understand the hype around strawberries, though. To him they smell and look like they should taste so much better than they actually do.

Sherlock is curious by nature. So he tries lots of different fruits imported to England: passion fruit, peaches, oranges. Of homegrown fruits he is used to cherries, apples and pears, and the expensive figs. You can chase him with rhubarb. He hates that stuff.

[apoptoses]

Lestat/Daniel: "This was a terrible idea."

This is a terrible idea. Astronomically bad, worse than the time Daniel introduced Armand to the wonderful world of jello molds and got stuck eating aspics for a week. Daniel had come out of that phase with a bad case of indigestion and a life long aversion to jello shots but this-

Who knows what being drunk at a club with Lestat will get him?

Whatever. It's not Daniel's fault anyways. Lestat's the one who'd blown into Trinity Gate like a hurricane, grabbed him by the wrist and half dragged him out the door ("Come, Daniel, before Thorne and Cyril catch up and come nipping my heels!"). Lestat had hailed the cab, picked the club. Practically shoved him into the crowd to take little drinks off every patron in the place, until they were both tipsy off second-hand alcohol and molly and god knows what else these people have taken.

It's reckless. Dangerous, having their Prince out here with no one old enough in the blood to look out for him.

It's the biggest thrill Daniel has had in weeks.

"Do you know why I like you, Daniel?" Lestat asks.

He's sitting across from Daniel at a high top table, teetering on his bar stool. There's a smear of glitter on his cheek, picked up from one of their little victims. Daniel almost reaches up to wipe it away but then decides against it. Lestat looks younger than he ever has, wild and free in a way Daniel hasn't seen from him in since that fateful night on a stage in San Francisco.

And besides, he can't lift his hand. Lestat's clutching it like a palm reader, Daniel's hand turned up on the table while Lestat's thumbs rub back and forth over his blood-warmed palm. He's got more rings on his fingers than even Armand usually wears. Daniel can feel every one of them, silver and gold and covered in gems that brush against his fingers as Lestat plays with them like a child.

"Because I have Armand's credit card and a chronic inability to say the word 'no'?" Daniel jokes.

Lestat tips his head back and laughs. His adam's apple is so prominent in his throat. Daniel can't keep his eyes off it, just like he can't keep his mind off the way Lestat's fingers are creeping up to trace little patterns on the inside of his wrist.

Daniel shudders at the sensation, amplified as it is by being on the edge of wasted. He tucks his chin towards his chest and hopes Lestat doesn't see him blush like a teenage boy. He's 32 in body, well over 70 in soul. He should be over this, for god's sake. People shouldn't affect him this way.

But then again, this isn't just people. This is Lestat, who's been increasingly touchy with with him all night. Daniel keeps trying to convince himself that it's just Lestat's flirtatious nature, that it's the second-hand intoxication making him especially loose and free. That he shouldn't reciprocate or make a move of his own. If Lestat wanted him he'd do it himself. He's never been shy in that way, so far as Daniel knows.

Lestat leans in conspiratorially. Daniel is compelled to do the same, to get in so close their foreheads nearly touch.

"Because you don't treat me as anything special. Well- I mean there was that period where you were rather impressed with me for my music career but I can hardly blame you for that, cher," Lestat says, Louisiana drawl growing thicker with the effects of the alcohol. "There's no elephant in the room with you, no- no-"

Lestat fumbles for the word. Daniel raises a brow at him.

"Baggage?" he prompts.

"Yes! Baggage, that's it! There's no pressure to be anything other than exactly what I am," Lestat says as he turns Daniel's hand over and traces over the tendons that raise a path down to his knuckles. Before Daniel can process the enormity of that admission, he continues- "And do you know why else?"

"No, but I bet you're about to tell me."

Lestat's lips curl into a smirk. He's so close now Daniel swears he can see freckles on his nose, the very faintest shadow of them brought back to life by the sips of blood he'd taken from each and every single member of a bachelorette party they'd encountered. Daniel's drunk brain has the wild impulse to tip his chin up and kiss them, to nuzzle at his cheek-

He shakes his head. It's a silly thought. A reckless one. Better to let Lestat make the move, if he even intends on making one.

"Because you're freakishly tall," Lestat says.

The whiplash of it makes Daniel bury his face in his hand and laugh. "What? No I'm not! I'm the same size as you."

"No, no. You just have horrendous posture, is all- I assume from decades of leaning down to kiss your terror of a maker, he ruins everyone in one way or another- but!" Lestat declares, and then goes on before Daniel can argue. "I bet that if you stood up you would have at least an inch on me."

"But why would you like that about me?" Daniel asks even as he's been cajoled off his stool.

Lestat's grip on his hand is like a vice, there's no use protesting. And besides, Daniel doesn't really want to fight it, because fighting it would mean pulling his hand away entirely and breaking whatever this- this thing is between them that's been building all night.

Daniel stumbles to his feet. For a second the entire club seems to rotate on its axis but Lestat's face is all he can see, obscuring his line of vision and providing an anchor for him to focus on.

"Now shoulders back, stand up-" Lestat demands.

"I'm pretty sure we're supposed to be back to back, we need someone else to judge," Daniel says.

He's about to wave down a passing woman, but then Lestat steps forward right into his personal space. They're close again, enough that Daniel can feel the heat radiating off him. Lestat always burns hot, he's like a radiator with his ancient blood, and Daniel is helpless but to step even further into his warmth.

And Lestat's right. If he pulls himself up to his full height he's just tall enough that he has to tilt his gaze slightly downwards to make eye contact, that Lestat would have to tilt his chin up to make their mouths meet and-

"Well? Do you understand what there is to like about you being so very tall now, cher?" Lestat asks and gives his hand a meaningful squeeze.

And oh. Yeah, Daniel gets it. Daniel knows intimately what it's like to always be the biggest guy in the room and for once, finally, be made to feel small. It's an inch, maybe two inches difference between them but it's enough that now that Daniel notices it he can't not notice. Can't keep his mind off how he's a smidge bigger, a few years older in mortal years. A handful of qualities that might make him someone Lestat can relax with and just let go.

Lestat is his Prince. A former rock star, current best selling author, Armand's nemesis turned part-time lover. He's notorious in the best and worst ways.

And right now he's just a barely 20-something guy with glitter smeared on cheeks and eyeliner smudged around his grey eyes, drunk as any mortal in the room. And as he looks up into Daniel's eyes Daniel has the giddy realization that he's the one who's been waiting all night to have a move made on him.

Well? Don't tell me I have to make any more obvious. I never imagined I'd have to stand here like some desperate girl at a dance, waiting for you to take a hint.

"And here I thought you liked that I didn't treat you special," Daniel says, just to hear Lestat's indignant huff.

Kissing Lestat is a terrible idea. Enormously bad, worse than coming out with him at all. But Daniel doesn't care.

He leans in, closes the distance between them, and catches Lestat's mouth with his own.

[pandasmagorica]

4 Minutes pre-ep 8 (Mon 9 Sept) musing on sad endings

I'm among those anticipating a sad ending to 4 Minutes. But what exactly is a sad ending in Eastern culture? This is a thoroughly Western take, so please feel free to correct me if I get it wrong.

This post contains spoilers for

Bungee Jumping of Their Own (Korea),

He's Coming to Me (Thailand),

Eternal Yesterday (Japan),

Until We Meet Again (Thailand),

Century of Love (Thailand),

To Sir With Love (Thailand),

55:15 Never Too Late (Thailand),

The Miracle of Teddy Bear (Thailand),

Something in My Room (Thailand),

Once Again (Korea),

and, of course, episodes 1 through 7 of 4 Minutes.

Mention in this paragraph or post does not necessarily mean the show has a sad ending - although there's a good chance of it - so this paragraph is not in itself a spoiler.

This is a long post.

I want to discuss three works that treat reincarnation as an important theme in the work: Bungee Jumping of Their Own, Until We Meet Again, and He's Coming to Me.

Here is the question: In cultures or individuals that believe in reincarnation, does death count as a sad ending?

The first time I had to ask myself this was many years ago after seeing the Korean queer-themed film Bungee Jumping of Their Own at the San Francisco Frameline Film Festival, one of the largest queer film fests on the planet. In this film, a man and a woman in love are engaged to be married. The woman is killed in a vehicle collision. The man remains single and becomes a teacher.

Sixteen and some years later, he becomes convinced that one of his male students, who is 16 at the time, is the reincarnation of the woman he loves. This ultimately turns out to be the case, and they begin a relationship which is roundly (and understandably) criticized by the people around them. At the end of the film, they commit suicide together by sabotaging a bungee jump. But we don't see them die, we see their spirits in conversation about what the possibilities would be for their reincarnation and reuniting, and that they will plan to be together as a same-aged couple, whether straight or gay.

So is this a sad ending on not? It's sad that they couldn't find a way to live in 2001 Korea - really, one solution would have been to wait until the student was an adult - but if it's clear they would likely be reborn and find each other once more, then it's merely bittersweet.

By the way it's a good movie if you can find it.

I understand Dew the Movie (Thailand) is a remake which starts with the gay couple who then get reincarnated as a straight couple, but I haven't seen it and can't comment on it.

Until We Meet Again (Thailand) is a sad beginning, opening with a double suicide of a gay couple sometime around the late 1980s. They get reincarnated, sort of, perhaps 13-15 years later, and ultimately find each other and instantly recognize their connection, even if they're not sure how or why. A better way to describe it is that their spirits kind of hitchhike with their new personas, as it ultimately turns out that they are both combined and separate from the new couple, who have their own personalities. But the spirits of the original couple are ultimately at peace and the successor couple are on their way to forging their own unique and happy relationship. So happy ending for a sad story.

He's Coming to Me (Thailand) is also a sad beginning. Med dies, and is somehow being prevented from being reborn, so is stuck as a ghost. He befriends a young man, Thun, who can see ghosts. Thun solves the blockers that are keeping Med from reincarnating, but in the meantime they've fallen in love, so Thun is heartbroken that he's going to lose Med. Sad ending for Thun, bittersweet ending for Med. But surprise, it's not Med's time to die yet, so they are reunited at least for now. Happy ending!

Century of Love (Thailand) is more of a comedy all the way through once we've gotten past the sad beginning of the female romantic interest dying to save the life of the male lead. The male lead makes a deal with the goddess to live 100 years more so he can try to find the reincarnation of his love and break the spell or else die trying. When the 100 years is about to expire, he thinks he has found her in the guise of a morally gray young man. He has to work through his internalized homophobia and falls in love with the man. But then a woman shows up who might be the reincarnation. Ultimately, we never know for sure if either of them or both are the reincarnation of the male lead's original loved one, but it takes both the young man and the new woman to break the curse. Happy ending!

Again, I am commenting as someone who grew up in Western Judeo-Christian culture, so am at risk of overestimating how important a belief in reincarnation is to Eastern culture. But it does seem to play a big part. I'll acknowledge that Western culture has reincarnation stories as well, but I don't think they have the emotional hit that the Eastern stories I've seen do.

Moving away from reincarnation:

Eternal Yesterday (Japan) has a high school queer couple separated by a fatal traffic accident aka the white truck of death. Except that the impactee gets up and smiles and moves around. But he's still dead. This is the opposite of a scary ghost or zombie flick: he's kindly and they are still in love which each other and doing their best to cope with this change in events. But ultimately it becomes clear that the survivor is keeping the dead one alive, and it's too hard on the dead one to keep going. There was no way this could have had a happy ending, but it's incredibly life affirming. I'm moved to tears just thinking about this series, and would watch it again and again, already have rewatched it once. Don't fear sad endings. (Okay, it's your choice, but I don't fear them.)

To Sir With Love (Thailand) has the least mystical relationship with death, but there is a lot of it in the series. The ending is bittersweet. The queer couple is together, but the mother committed suicide to save them from the bad guy by tricking him into taking poison.

55:15 Never Too Late (Thailand) provides the redo by transforming the five 55 year old mains into their 15 year old bodies. On their way back to being 55, one of them dies, and the others face an uncertain future with the opportunity to try again. Bittersweet.

The Miracle of Teddy Bear (Thailand) gives a teddy bear life and love, but ultimately the bear relinquishes his life so that the human who gave him life could be reunited with the teddy bear's owner. But the owner could still show him love as a teddy bear. Bittersweet.

Something in My Room (Thailand) has a living human and a ghost fall in love with each other. They are ultimately separated, but reunited many years later when the human dies of a terminal illness. So they're together (happy) but the human is now dead (sad). Bittersweet.

Once Again (Korea) sends a young man back in time to meet the man who died saving him from a child abductor as a kid. They fall in love, and the time traveler tries to prevent his savior's death but the guy dies saving him again anyway and the time traveler is thrust back into the present. The savior sends a note through a friend to the time traveler telling him let's do this again every 7 years that some people have taken as being a time loop but which I take as just the savior trying to make the time traveler feel better about not being able to change the past. On the sad side of bittersweet.

Now lets get back to episodes 1 through 7 of 4 Minutes, and look at what beliefs might go into a happy, sad, or bittersweet ending to episode 8.

In the redo timeline, Great's father makes a reference to the three realms, Heaven, Earth, and Hell. Unlike Western culture where Heaven is eternal reward and Hell, at least in Christian culture specifically, is eternal punishment, in Thai culture they are waystops. Again, Thais please feel free to correct me if I'm off. But we don't know if redo Great's father is speaking from belief or experience.

We've also paid a visit to the 4:00 room where people go to - what? - be in limbo? wait to find out if they live or die? move on to the next life?

There's a bed in that room. Will Great and Tyme use it for sex? To nap together?

It would not be surprising for Great to live and Tyme to die, based on the circumstances of their respective entries into 4 minutes territory. Tyme has asked for Great's forgiveness - he would not now expect Great to give up his life just to be with Tyme. This would be sad or bittersweet. How far along that scale it would be would depend on what Great does with his life going forward, which would possibly be shown briefly with a time jump.

We don't know what role if any reincarnation plays in this series. It hasn't been mentioned but is related to the three realms belief. So, they could both die and be reincarnated in the next life, leading to a happy ending a la Until We Meet Again. Obviously with only one episode remaining, we would not get much of a picture of this, but remember Bungee Jumping of Their Own ended with the mains clearly in an unreal space and assumption of further reincarnation awaiting them. It could still be part of the ending. And it would be bittersweet - that they can't be together now but would have a chance to be together in the next life.

We probably are not going to get an unambiguously happy ending. Even if they were both to survive, the police chief would still be out to get Tyme and possibly Great.

Actually that would be a question if just Great survives.

I eagerly await Friday (Saturday for you folks who are ahead of me on the International Date Line) and the conclusion of this series.

[boag]

LA, I picked San Francisco because the man who doesn’t love me lives there.. LA, I’m pathetic but so are you, can I come home now? Daughter to no one, table for one, party of thousands of people I don’t know at Delilah where my ex husband works… I’m sick of this, but can I come home now? Mother to no one, private jet for one back home to the Tudor house that borned a thousand murder plots. Hancock Park, it's treated me very badly, I'm resentful.. The witch on the corner, the neighbor nobody wanted, the reason for Garcetti's extra security… LA, I know I'm bad, but I have nowhere else to go, can I come home now? I never had a mother, will you let me make the sun my own for now and the ocean my son? I'm quite good at tending to things despite my upbringing, can I raise your mountains? I promise to keep them greener, make them my daughters, teach them about fire, warn them about water. I'm lonely, LA, can I come home now?

[aprillikesthings]

Ahahah so much for not writing this until I had more done on my other fic

But if you're seeing this in the tags: It's 1967. Catra and Adora just graduated high school and they're both 18. They were both raised by single moms who were shitty but in different ways.

As always: this scene is subject to possible heavy editing later. It's about 750 words as of right now.

Bow parks a little ways down the street. Adora climbs out of the back of the Volkswagen Beetle. The light is on in Catra's window. She throws a penny at it, like she did as a kid.

Please God, let her be home. 

Sure enough, the window gets yanked open and Catra’s head pops out. 

She looks surprised, then confused. 

“What the hell are you doing here?”

Adora shout-whispers. “We’re going to Monterey Pop Festival. Come with us!”

“What?!” 

“Is your mom home? Can you come out and talk?” 

Catra looks out at the street and her eyes narrow. “Is that your fancy new friends?”

“If you mean, is it Glimmer and Bow, yeah it is. It’s Bow’s car. Anyway, come down and talk to me.”

Catra nearly says something, then stops herself and presses her lips together for a second. “Fine.” The window is slammed shut. 

A moment later and the front door opens and closes, and Catra is leaning on it, arms crossed. She’s apparently stopped straightening her hair, and she has on beat-up jeans and a dark red peasant top. (And no bra. Don’t stare–) She looks good. And far more like a flower child than Adora does.

Catra has a cigarette in her hand, and she lights it and puts the lighter in her pocket, before blowing a cloud of smoke nearly into Adora’s face. 

“So, what are you idiots doing?” 

Adora startles a little. Right.

“There’s a music festival this weekend in Monterey near San Francisco, and we’re going. And then we’re staying with Glimmer’s Aunt Casta until we go to college this fall. Do you want to come with us?” 

“Like, right now?”

“Yeah.”

She takes another drag off her cigarette and blows it out through her nose. “Does your mom know you’re going?”

Adora rolls her eyes. “No, I snuck out. I left her a note, though.”

“Aww. You’re literally that cheesy song on Sgt. Pepper.”

“Oh, shut up,” she laughs. 

Catra stops smiling. “Adora. Let me get this straight. You’ve barely spoken to me for six months–”

“--you know that’s not my fault!”

Catra doesn’t acknowledge that. “--and you show up on my front porch at ten o’clock at night to ask me to join you and your little friends on a road trip all the way on the west coast in that tin can and then live with all of you in a stranger’s house for three months?”

“...Yeah.” It sounds dumb when Catra puts it that way.

“Why?”

“Because...I mean. Jefferson Airplane will be at Monterey Pop.”

“That’s not enough for me to crammed in that tiny car with all of you for that long.”

“And, um.” Adora’s face heats. “Because. I want you to come with us.” She takes a deep breath. “With me. I've missed you.”

Catra looks wide-eyed for a split second at that, soft in a way she hasn’t in years. But it’s gone just as fast, and her cigarette is in her mouth again.

“With what money, Adora.”

“I can pay for you. My.” She clears her throat. “When I turned 18 I was able to access my trust fund.”

“That’s your college money from your dead dad.”

“I know.” 

Catra looks past her. Adora turns around. Glimmer and Bow got out of the car at some point and are leaning on the other side of it, facing away from Catra and Adora. They’re talking quietly and smoking.

Adora turns back. Catra’s eyes are narrowed. 

“I’m not your charity case.” 

“I never said you were. But. You don’t have to be stuck here with your mom all summer. You can come with us.”

“I don't need you to save me. I've been doing just fine on my own.”

“I didn’t say you weren’t.”

There’s a long silence. Catra keeps smoking.

Adora takes a deep breath to try one more time. “You don't have to let your mom treat you like shit anymore. You can leave just like I am.”

It was the wrong thing to say. Catra’s face hardens in fury and she steps forward into Adora’s space, making her scramble back. “Oh, because I need to follow you everywhere you go?!” she hisses.

“I didn't mean it that way!”

“I don't. Want. To leave. What don't you understand about that? I'm not afraid of my mom anymore, I’m an adult and she doesn’t control me.” Catra flicks her cigarette butt onto the sidewalk. “I don’t want you to come back, Adora. Have fun in San Francisco.”

And then Catra’s gone, and the front door slams shut in Adora’s face.

[simply-ivanka]

The Reinvention of Kamala Harris

Democrats stuck with Biden because they thought she was even weaker. Has that changed?

By Gerard Baker Wall Street Journal

The only real question for the 90 days remaining in this presidential campaign: Can Operation Transfiguration succeed?

Can the Democrats and a collaborative media pull off their recasting of Vice President Kamala Harris from the verbally maladroit, politically inept, ruinous-policy-espousing electoral dud we have all seen over the past five years into the holy trinity of Joan of Arc, Harriet Tubman and Margaret Thatcher we have been presented with in the past two weeks?

Can, shall we say, the protective phalanx of Democratic aides, strategists, fundraisers, reporters, editors, influencers and Taylor Swift persuade enough voters to imagine a presidential future of what can be, unburdened by the reality of the vice president, presidential candidate, senator and state attorney general that has been?

Time—or the lack of it—is the key to the operation’s success. I say 90 days but in practice they will need to keep the hype show on the road for just two months after an August of jubilees.

This week the hosannas will ring anew when Ms. Harris announces her vice-presidential nominee. It’s a sure bet that when the man is unveiled we will be treated to a week of gauzy newspaper accounts of his genius and kindliness. Television pundits will explain how the pair on the ticket represent the perfect distillation of American diversity. They will take their campaign on the road, Ms. Harris never more than a few feet away from her truly indispensable companion, the teleprompter, and a much safer distance from any enterprising reporter who may ask a difficult question.

Then we will have a week of a Democratic convention like no other. It will open with Biden Night (only one), when the withered man the party has just knifed will be hoisted aloft before adoring delegates and media panegyrists and hailed as Mount Rushmore-ready. Then, three nights of tributes to the Pantsuit Pericles bidding to run the country for the next four years, culminating in a peroration that will leave White House correspondents weeping.

Operation Transfiguration may be the most audacious plan a political party has ever undertaken. It requires the effective deployment of the full toolkit of press and social media deception: selective editorial amnesia, gaslighting, memory-holing. The whole campaign is the political and media equivalent of answering every question voters may have about the pre-July 21 Ms. Harris with “404 Error Page Not Found.”

If you think I’m overstating the extent to which Ms. Harris is being reclothed, cast your mind back oh so many weeks ago, before President Biden self-immolated at the presidential debate, before a would-be assassin nearly took down Donald Trump, before Mr. Biden was bundled out of the race—to late June, a political epoch away, when polling, punditry and political logic all told us the same thing: Ms. Harris was a loser. Her approval rating had been hovering lower even than Mr. Biden’s for most of the past few years. Many Democrats were saying privately—and some publicly—that if Mr. Biden were jettisoned from the ticket, there should be an accelerated primary contest because they couldn’t risk letting the vice president simply ascend to the job.

We are all familiar with why that was: memories of Ms. Harris’s political identity as the most liberal member of a Senate that included Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren; a presidential campaign five years ago in which she pledged to eliminate private health insurance, ban fracking, give benefits to illegal immigrants, and force gun owners to sell certain firearms to the government; more recent recollections of her San Francisco-bred extremism such as when she helped raise money for the legal defense of rioters and looters in the summer of 2020; and her role in helping Mr. Biden deliver a long list of economic, social and national-security failures for the country—most obviously at the border.

All this is why so many Democrats were alarmed at the thought of a Harris nomination, the same nomination they now trumpet as triumphant.

Only two things can derail Operation Transfiguration: The first is a focused, disciplined and relentless Republican campaign that raises the debate above the vacuity of social-media memes and reminds voters that the Democratic candidate is the same person—and her party is the same party—that she was two weeks ago. If the election is decided on the issues, on voters’ perceptions of the state of the country, Ms. Harris is surely in as much trouble as Mr. Biden was. If the campaign is dominated by pointless assertions about Ms. Harris’s racial identity or her maternal status or all the other entertaining little diversions Mr. Trump likes to indulge, she may get away with skating past the realities of her past.

The other is the media. Are they really going to guide this campaign gently across the finish line? Is there anyone left beyond hostile outlets with a modicum of journalist dignity who is prepared to ask serious questions, do serious reporting, demand a press conference or two? Or are they all intent on doing what they nearly got away with doing for Mr. Biden the last few years and cover for someone evidently incapable of holding office?

Copyright ©2024 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 87990cbe856818d5eddac44c7b1cdeb8

Appeared in the August 6, 2024, print edition as 'The Reinvention of Kamala Harris'.

[alovesreading]

Constant Repeat | Part 3

Summary:  Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 15.3k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: Jumping on my spot because this chapter just fully starts it all and I cannot wait to hear what you think about it!!!  I don't even know what to say anymore, I'm just to eager for you all to read this one lol. Enjoy!!! xx

Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 |

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It had been two months since their goodbye. June had been filled with work, mostly for commercials with a fourth of July theme. There were so many brands they’d worked with, that Ella had lost count of how many meetings she had attended in the last three weeks of the month.

True to his word, a week after their last talk, she got an email from their management asking for her name and address to be added to the PR list. Suck it and see had been out for a week already and she had bought it digitally, but her stomach fluttered as she typed in her information.

She just couldn’t wait for when the next video was going to be recorded.

July seemed to go the slowest it could’ve ever gone. And by the time August came, she still had no news about the band’s music video. The end of the first week of August was approaching, she was half tempted to go up to either Ben or Aaron and ask about it, but she was afraid of how that would make her look like.

Little did Ella know, she didn’t have to wait any longer, since the following Monday she got a list that read Arctic Monkeys - Black Treacle, Evil Twin, Suck it and See with dates on the top of the page that said August 14th - 16th 2011.

She hid her slight freakout very deep inside herself and left it for when she finished getting the details on the list ready. Four days later, when she handed the list back to her bosses, she allowed herself to get showered in nerves.

Ella knew by then that they were going to see them at a festival they were playing at in San Francisco, and she was beyond excited for it but her stomach was turning just from thinking she would be seeing Alex again after two months. Sixty days since they last spoke and she realized far too late she had no way to even contact him during the wait for the next music video.

Well, not that she would’ve been brave enough to ask for his phone number and maybe he would’ve laughed at her if she had asked for his email, but she was wondering what it would’ve been like if somehow they could have a way to keep chatting despite the distance.

And as if someone had been stealing the sand from the hourglass, before she even had time to properly prepare herself for the encounter, it was August 14th and the production crew was parking their bus at the festival grounds. It was around three in the afternoon, they had made a stop for lunch that made them arrive an hour later than anticipated but they weren’t late enough to have missed the band’s set.

After a while of walking and trying to make their ways through the artists backstage, the group of fifteen people sporting ‘Outside Lands’ wristbands managed to make it to the spot the brits were standing at.

And Ella almost didn’t recognize him.

Alex had a fresh new haircut, a quiff that just screamed greaser, and she fully had to force her jaw back up after seeing him. He had his leather jacket on, despite it not being cold, gold framed dark sunglasses that fit him perfectly, jeans and a black shirt on. A cigarette behind his ear that had an effect on her she couldn’t quite describe, but she was sure her legs went a little weak when she saw it there.

Holy fuck.

It was around a drinks tent that they were standing by, all of them with plastic cups in their hands and laughing around. She smiled as they got closer, missing being around their banter.

Nick was the first to notice them approaching, turning around with a giant smile and waving at them. The rest of them turned to where the bassist was looking at and when they saw the crew they matched Nick’s grin and gesture.

The directors were the first to approach them and shake hands. Ella followed closely behind, way too excited to greet them again to hide anymore. She hugged them tight, saying a small but high pitched “Hi” to each of them, Matt swaying her from side to side while embracing her.

Alex grinned brightly at her, feeling warmth from her presence. She didn’t waste any time in pulling him in for a hug, her hold so tight on him that he started feeling dizzy from the way it was making him feel inside.

“Hi Ellie.” His arms were around her waist, giving her a squeeze before she let go.

She was grinning from ear to ear, “Hi Al.” Ella knew her greeting had been effusive but she couldn’t care less what any of the crew members had to say, not when Alex was looking at her like that.

They were both slowly letting go off each other when Aaron spoke up, “Thank you so much for having us at the show today.”

Ella took a step back, standing beside Ben. She made it seem like she was adjusting the camera strap on her shoulder, but she was hiding her blushed cheeks behind her hair.

Matt waved it off like it was no big deal, “It’s great having you all here. Hope you didn’t get lost trying to make it here.”

Ben chuckled, “It was a whole quest but we made it.”

Matt turned around then, getting some cups and pouring what seemed to be tequila in four of them and turned around with one on each hand, “Well, you’re all about three shots behind so better catch up.”

Aaron grabbed one of the shots Matt was offering, “Well, let’s get to it then!” The director turned to all the crew, nodding with his head towards the drink table so they could all get tequila shots.

Matt was quick to pour everyone their shots and when they all had them in hand they took them at the same time, he hadn’t been kidding about catching them up because he walked down the line of people filling their cups again so they could go back for a second one.

Alex took the opportunity to check Ella out more intently. She looked amazing under the sun, her tan long legs were out, she was wearing a pair of jean shorts held up by a black double buckle belt, a black bodysuit that showed every curve on her body perfectly and on her feet were a pair of black gator skin cowboy boots with silver detailing. She looked very western, and he loved it. From his spot he could see some tattoos littering her body like the red ink writing she had on her left thigh that was making him have thoughts he couldn’t say out loud.

She wiped the drops of tequila that were falling from her chin to her neck, “Fuck.” she mumbled, “Do we really gotta do a third one?” She was already feeling the warmth from the alcohol inside her buzzing all the way to the tips of her fingers.

Matt smirked, “Yes Ellie!” He poured her a third shot, filling her cup a bit more than the last time.

She narrowed her eyes at him and Alex chuckled at her expression. Matt proceeded to pour more tequila around and when the last person was served, he shouted, “Cheers everyone!”

The burn wasn’t as bad for her anymore, but she felt like if she didn't have a chaser any time soon, she would be throwing her lunch up. Alex saw her struggling after she gulped it down, turning to the table and handing her a lime wedge.

“Ugh, thanks.” She said in a pained voice, sticking the fruit in her mouth quickly after.

The sourness relaxed her and once she felt like it was enough, Ella took it off her mouth and threw it and the cup to the trash. “Matthew, I hate you.”

Everyone laughed, some of her coworkers had reached out for lime as well and she didn’t feel as bad anymore. She was now feeling more buzzed by the second. Oh, I’m already regretting this, she said in her head.

Alex then turned to their crew and said, “We’re going on in about an hour or so, you all can go around the festival if you’d like. Those passes can take you about anywhere.” He pointed to a guy’s AAA wristband, hoping they would all take their ways and he could have some time to hang out with Ella.

With that, many of them turned to pour some drinks and make their way to the closest stage, the directors saying they were gonna check whoever was performing as well. About five minutes went by when they were all left alone with the PA by the drinks tent.

Ella smiled at them, grabbing the strap from her shoulder and taking her film camera in her hands, she turned it on before saying, “Let me take a picture of you all!” They all nodded and started taking position for the shot.

Alex ran his hand through his hair, as he smiled towards the camera. Matt and Nick were raising their drinks in the air and Jamie stood beside them with a cigarette between his lips. She captured her view, smiling at them as she lowered the device. “I’m going to be taking pictures all day so you better be good muses and pose for me.”

Alex and Matt laughed at the way she was starting to slur her words, getting very obviously tipsy already. The singer decided to tease her, “You know… you’re only missing your cowboy hat.”

She snorted, “I always have it with me.” and she lifted her left arm, showing off her little cowboy hat tattoo on the inside of her bicep.

He giggled in response, “Brilliant.” and he took a sip of his drink, “How many tattoos do you have?” He ended up asking, curious to know what she would decide to print on her skin permanently.

She took some time to think and count, touching her rib by the end and lifting a total of six fingers, “About six at the moment:” she showed her cowboy hat again, “this one’s for Tennessee,” she then turned to her side showing him her right arm, “Lover here,” she pointed to her right shoulder where the word could be read, she then proceeded to show her tricep on the same arm “The angel wings for LA,” she turned back to her front, and lifted her shorts a bit over her left thigh, “Divine feminine,” was the one on red ink Alex had first noticed, she then put her left arm up to show the outside of her forearm where three little butterflies adorned her skin “my butterflies,” and she finished touching her left ribs over her bodysuit “And Selcouth here.”

Jamie frowned as he let go of the smoke he was holding in his lungs, “Sorry, Sel– what?”

Her face softly blushed and her lips formed a shy smile, “Selcouth, uhm, it means unfamiliar or strange yet marvelous.”

Jamie nodded while Nick tilted his cup towards her, “That’s nice.”

“Thank you Nick.” She placed her hand over her chest, an exaggerated expression of her gratitude for the little compliment. “Anyway, how have you been? How’s the tour going?”

Alex sighed, moving next to her and throwing his arm around her shoulders, “Well, other than the constant moving and therefore constant jetlag, it’s been great.”

Matt, who had been doing something on the table behind them, turned around then with a smirk on his face, “But nothing some margaritas cannot cure, right lads?” He had two glasses on his hands, raising them up as he walked towards Ella. “Here you go m’lady,” and he waited until she hesitantly grabbed the glass from him to move on.

“Oh no Matt, I don’t think–” She tried saying quickly, holding the glass as far away from her as possible for him to take back but was cut off by the man before she could finish her sentence.

The drummer handed the other one to Alex and made his way back to the table to hand Jamie and Nick theirs. Holding his own drink, he turned around to tut at her, “We’re not thinking right now.” He took a sip and let out an exaggerated sigh of pleasure, “We’re having fun and getting pissed!”

She turned to her left where Alex was standing, still holding onto her. “I–” She started again but Alex looked at her expectantly, softly encouraging her to take a sip after he had taken one of his.

“It’s really good Ellie, try it.” Alex assured her, taking a second sip.

She rolled her eyes, “Okay fine, but you better not complain if you need to end up taking care of drunk Ella today.” pointing at all of them, she took a swig of the beverage.

They all cheered, throwing their arms up in the air. Alex’s arm left her shoulders for a moment and she just laughed at their enthusiasm. When his hold came back around her she approved of Matt’s creation, “That’s really good Helders, you’re gonna have to teach me how to make it.”

“Whenever you want, Ella.” Matt replied, winking at her.

She let out a short laugh that died when Alex held her a tiny bit tighter to his side. The alcohol in her system was making her feel brave, so she let her head rest on his shoulder. She felt him tense for a quick second and she was about to curse herself mentally, when she felt him rest his head on top of hers, rubbing her shoulder with his thumb, over her lover tattoo.

She bit her lip to stop a massive smile from appearing on her face, not wanting to be too obvious in front of the rest of the band who were too preoccupied chatting amongst themselves to notice.

Ella let her eyes close for a second, getting lost in the feeling of his fingers on her skin and that’s when Matt glanced at them, making eye contact with Alex who hid his smile behind his glass. The drummer didn’t say anything, he just nodded and smiled at his friend, happy to see him smiling after weeks of sadness.

A few weeks ago, the singer had broken up with his girlfriend. It was a mutual accord, both of them too busy to even see each other as often as they could manage which made them come to take the decision. Decision that very obviously hurt them both. They had been together for over four years and he had been thinking of proposing one day, but shit happens and all he could do was move forward.

Tour had been distracting him, and he had been writing a lot to cope but there was something about the way he had felt when he saw the American girl again, and now he didn’t want to let go of the feeling—therefore not letting go of her.

Ella lifted her head up, making him do the same. Alex looked down at her and she smiled at him before leaning into his ear and whispering, “I really like this new look.” she pulled back a bit and checked him out very clearly, making him blush.

He smirked with pink cheeks, “You do?”

She nodded eagerly, “Very much.” The green on her eyes, dusted with brown flakes that looked like gold under the sun, was hypnotizing him behind his sunglasses.

He let his arm fall from her shoulders to her waist, leaning into her ear and whispering, “Thanks Ella.” in a tone that almost made her shiver.

The next fifty minutes they spent all together, drinking more margaritas—which Matt had taught her now how to make—, taking pictures and just talking about whatever came to their minds.

As the time for them to be on stage got closer, the people from her crew came back, equally or more tipsy than she was. Alex had counted her current glass to be her third and when she finished it, he grabbed it from her and threw it away, leaving her side to get her a cup of water.

When he came back he grabbed her arm softly to catch her attention, “I need you to start drinking some water now, Ellie.” his voice mellow and coated with wariness over her state.

She rolled her eyes and laughed at his worried features, “Alex it’s fine, I’m not drunk yet.”

He nodded, grabbing her hand to have her fingers wrap around the cup, “Exactly, yet. We’re gonna keep drinking after our set, I just don’t want you to be sick while we’re on.”

Ella thought he looked so cute with his furrowed brows, taking care of her, “Hmm, you’re cute,” she said softly, giving him a toothy grin. “Okay, I’ll have some water.” she finally took the cup and brought it to her lips, relief washing over him.

He was blushing, really liking how she was being with him—all soft yet forward. “Great.” he replied in a mumble, holding her close to him once again like they had been all afternoon.

Many had seen them, but no one said a word. Not to him, because he was genuinely smiling after Alexa. Not to her, because no one could question her and be nosy about it in front of the band.

Her cup of water was halfway done when someone from his sound crew made his way over to their group. “Let’s go lads, we need you over by the stage. You’re on in ten.”

Alex nodded, downing the last of his drink. His mates did the same as he turned to her, “You’re gonna keep having water yeah?” his eyebrows raised as he expected her to comply.

An amused sigh was what he got, “Yes, okay, I’ll stick to water now.” She rolled her eyes as he nodded, pleased with her answer.

“Alright, see you up there.” He said before kissing her temple and making his way to the side of the stage, leaving her a statue under San Francisco’s burning sun.

She was frozen and flushed, her temple felt hot like she had been branded. Branded with the shape of his lips and she was sure she had been. That little kiss would be pathetically engraved in her mind forever now.

Matt made her come out of her trance, asking her, “Would you like another one before we go?”

She knew she should’ve kept her promise of sticking to water, but she truly felt like she was sobering back up to a barely tipsy state so she nodded, “Please and thank you, Matt.” She downed the last of the water she had and threw away her cup before going beside the drummer.

When she stood beside him he was quick to ask her, “Would you like another one so you have a refill for the show and don’t have to come back here to make yourself one?”

She giggled, “You wanna see me black out, don’t you?”

Matt laughed, shaking his head, “That would be hilarious to witness but no, I’m genuinely asking.”

“Oh Matt, you’re so kind, look at you!” She nudged his shoulder with her left hand, sarcasm so obvious in her tone. He just laughed as he poured some tequila in her glass.

A minute later her and Matt were making their ways to the side of the stage. Alex was lighting the end of a cigarette, Nick already smoking his and Jamie was telling them something. Ella thought it was the perfect opportunity to get another picture of them, so she set her glasses down on a table a few steps away from her and grabbed her film camera with her right hand.

Her feet took her to where the band was standing, and when she got close enough, she rested her hand on top of Jamie’s shoulder. “Sorry to interrupt but, can I take a picture of you guys?” she asked shyly, a little bit embarrassed over having cut their conversation short.

They all reassure her though, giving her warm smiles and nods. “Sure Ellie, where do you want us?” Jamie asked while turning around, facing her.

She pulled the camera up to her eyes, “Just stand right there and give me a pose.”

Nick kept his stance, smiling at the camera. Alex brought the cigarette from between his lips, and with it between his fingers, he put his hand out as if trying to reach for the camera. Jamie turned to him then, hugging him from behind like they were Rose and Jack from Titanic.

Ella laughed as she looked through the viewfinder, pressing the shutter once she got her lenses to focus. “Beautiful!” She exclaimed as she put the camera back down, turning it off and letting it rest on her stomach while the strap was around her neck.

“What the fuck? Why are you taking pictures of everyone but me?” Matt’s voice got louder as he came closer to them.

She snorted and brought her hand to her chest, “No, I’m sorry Matt, I’ll take another one with you! C’mon!” she waved for him to go stand beside his bandmates but the stubborn man just stood there shaking his head.

“No, I don’t want to be in the picture anymore.”

She pouted at him, “C’mon, before you have to go on stage.” she elongated her words, whining for him to move.

The drummer just stood there shaking his head as he adjusted his in-ears, the reason why he wasn’t around when they took the picture. “No.”

She rolled her eyes at his obstination, “Helders, get in the picture.”

He started playing with the drumsticks he had in his hands, shaking his head.

“I’m not going to drag you over here.” She uttered in a tired tone.

He shrugged, acting uninterested. “Okay.”

Ella threw her head back, and sighed, “Matt, please come here.”

He once again shook his head, “Thank you, I’m good.”

She deflated as the negative response reached her ears again, “Oh for fucks sake,” she mumbled to herself before pouting once again, “Please?”

The band was watching the whole situation, entertained. Matt made eye contact with Alex who was standing a couple of steps behind her, the singer just shook his head with an amused smile and Matt lost his serious stance when he chuckled.

A grin broke on her face, “Will you let me take your picture now?”

The drummer kept laughing lightly and nodded, “Yeah but this is your second and last chance.”

She rolled her eyes, bringing the camera up to her eyes. “Alright Helders, give me your best pose.” watching him through the viewfinder and trying to get the shot to focus.

He made it seem like he was going to strike a big pose, she was excited to see what he would do but then he just flipped her off with his drumsticks sticking out of his hands.

The men behind her bursted out laughing, the shutter went off once and she let the camera back down, hanging from her neck. “How nice of you, Matthew.”

He shrugged, smirking at her. “Well I really enjoyed hearing you beg, Ella.”

She rolled her eyes and it was her turn to flip him off. Matt just laughed at her, waving the lads over to start walking with him.

Just before they disappeared behind a fence, she told them “Good luck!” to which they thanked and smiled at her.

Ella went back to retrieve her margaritas, hoping no one had taken them, and to her relief they were still sitting where she had left them. She was quick to take a sip of one of the glasses, joining the group her crew made and walking with them to the side of the stage.

The festival crowd was loud, making the anticipation for their set build up. Her stomach was in knots seeing that many people and she couldn’t believe how the band didn’t seem nervous at all. They were laughing amongst themselves, adjusting their in-ears and smoking cigarettes as if they weren’t about to perform to a giant mass of people.

Ella had been staring at Alex so it was no surprise that he turned around and saw her. She kept her glance and gave him a bright grin, him matching it. He took a look at her hands and saw the cocktails she was holding onto. Alex raised his eyebrow in question, and she giggled before putting her cup up and mouthing ‘cheers’ to him to then take a long sip of the beverage.

He shook his head, smirking at her. He found everything she did so endearing, he was getting confused on what exactly was her effect on him. He couldn’t help but compare it to how he felt when Alexa would look at him or talk about him to her friends. But that was love, he was in love with Alexa and she was his girlfriend. Surely what he felt for Ella wasn’t love, he only was attracted to her; a crush, perhaps. Yet, it felt nice and he wanted to keep the feeling for as long as he could.

His thoughts were interrupted when they were instructed to get on stage. Walking up to hundreds of people who were screaming for their band and their music was something that he would never grow tired of. Not even in a narcissistic way, but a bloody-hell-I-can’t-believe-this-is-my-job way.

He blew the audience a kiss and waved at them as he went over to retrieve his guitar from its stand, then making way to the microphone to greet them. “How you doing, everybody?” he strummed his guitar, pressing on a pedal so it sounded distorted.

Her and the crew were cheering along with the crowd, only getting louder when Matt started hitting the drums. With ‘Library Pictures' they started their set, Ella knew the lyrics by heart so she was having the time of her life singing, dancing and drinking while she watched them play.

Their set lasted an hour long, and it went by so fast between the crowd going louder for their most recognized songs and the band feeding off their energy.

Soon enough, they were getting ready to play their last song, Alex said a few words before starting it. “Thank you very much everybody, thanks for coming out. You’ve been a terrific audience.” He pointed out to the people as he talked, “We’ve gotta go now, which is sad… but, erm, you enjoy the rest of your day and we’ll see you some other time.” And with that he started playing the chords to ‘When The Sun Goes Down’, singing the starting verses.

Before he repeated the last line of the song’s intro, he took a pause and the crowd yelled, cheering on the upcoming beat change. “Make some noise everybody, let me hear you.” said Alex to the crowd, encouraging their screams.

Matt took the moment to turn to the side of the stage, seeing Ella in the center of the group, with her cup almost empty and holding a burning cigarette between her fingers. She was cheering just as loud, making the drummer laugh before he looked back to the front, at the sea of people standing before the stage.

“I said, he’s a scumbag, don't you know.” sang Alex, making the beat drop and the band joining with their own instruments.

He turned around while playing his guitar, going over to Matt to continue strumming the chords when his friend nodded over to the side, where Ella was standing. He turned to look at her, and a big smile made its way to his face.

She had a cigarette perched between her lips and a half empty cup on her right hand, bumping her head to the beat while she imitated Matt’s beat of the drums with her hands. Alex laughed at how invested she was in the song, she was enjoying herself and that sight made him warm inside.

He turned back to the mic, singing the rest of the lyrics with the grin still stuck on his face. He looked over once again to the side of the stage, seeing her now imitating his fingers on the guitar. She smiled and pointed at him while singing the chorus with him.

Alex was so distracted by her actions that he almost sang the chorus once again, he stopped right away, mumbling an apology that was barely audible from the crowd’s cheers.

As the song came to an end, everyone but Alex stopped playing their instruments. Jamie threw his pick to the crowd and set his guitar down to leave; Matt stood up and waved at the crowd, leaving after Jamie. Nick went over his bass stand to set it down and crouched to get the drumstick Matt had thrown in the middle of stage, he tossed it to the crowd and put his arms up in celebration of their cheering before leaving.

Alex sang the last verse, elongating the last chord, to then turn around and leave his guitar next to Jamie’s. He grabbed his beer bottle and blew a kiss to the people before following the trail of his friends.

When he got to the side of the stage, he smirked and pointed at her, “You were the best dancer of the crowd.”

Ella blushed but jumped up and down exclaiming, “That was amazing!” Which made the rest of her crew come up to the band to congratulate them. The brits thanked everyone as they were all making their ways back down to the festival grounds.

Alex stood by her side, taking sip after sip of his beer. And as they took the last step of the stairs to the grass, she leaned into him and with slurred words said, “You know… this haircut really goes well with the whole rockstar thing you’ve got going on. The leather jacket, sunglasses everywhere and all that, pairs really well.”

He laughed at her drunken monologue, “How many margaritas have you had?”

She thought about it for a few seconds, frowning as she tapped her index finger on her lips, “Three, I think?” She thought back to how many times she’d left the side of the stage to make herself a drink and going back through her mind, she realized it had only been once while they were playing ‘Brick by Brick’.

He hummed and nodded at her response, “Well enjoy your last few sips of this one because it’s your last one.”

Ella pouted but nodded, knowing it would be for the better, considering they had to shoot right after the festival. “Okay, I guess.” She downed what was left of the drink, “Done!” she said with a smile, putting the now empty cup upside down in front of her, a single drop falling to the ground.

Alex chuckled at her, “You’re something else.” She was looking at him, squinting her eyes from the sun, so he grabbed his sunglasses and placed them on the bridge of her nose.

She adjusted them and softly nudged his hips with hers, “Thanks, the sun was about to make me cry.”

“You’re very welcome, they look good on you.” He complimented, making her blush.

She shook her head and put some of her hair behind her ear, “Ever the flatterer, Turner.”

They decided to go over the drinks tent to get Ella some water so she could sober up. She practically downed the first cup in less than thirty seconds, realizing how thirsty she had been for something non alcoholic or sweet. With a new cup of water for her, and a new beer bottle for Alex, they went up to their large group again.

Everyone decided to stay and watch The Black Keys, meaning they would leave at around seven thirty and they could reach their filming location to set everything up before it went fully dark out.

During the American band’s set, she had started to shiver. The sun was coming down and the wind was picking up, her no sleeve bodysuit and shorts weren’t helping her in the slightest and she had left her jacket on the bus.

When a particularly cold draft of air hit her back, the words automatically left her lips, “Shit, it’s so cold.” She was shivering despite Alex being beside her.

He of course took the opportunity to be cheeky, so he put his arm around her and hugged her to his side, “Is that better?”

“As much as I’d love to say yes, no.” she honestly replied when the wind still made her shake even with his hold tight on her.

He nodded, taking his arm off her. She thought for a second that maybe he had taken it the wrong way. But he placed his beer bottle on the ground, and took his jacket off, picking his bottle back up when he had the leather coat on his left hand.

“Here you go.” He offered his jacket to her, a shy smile on his face. He knew all about giving girls his jacket and how that looks to other people but he couldn’t give a shit about others’ opinions when he wanted her to be warm and to see how she’d look wearing something of his—other than his eyewear, that is.

She immediately looked to her sides at the crew scrambled around the main stage side area where they were standing. They were with the crowd but far away enough that no one would bother them, the people were too engrossed in the band playing on stage. The group she’d come with were all distracted as well and weren’t looking at them but she still didn’t want to draw more attention to them and she had a feeling that once they went to the hotel to sleep, she would be drowned in questions from her coworkers about her and Alex’s proximity.

She waved her hand in front of her as if to say no, “Alex, it’s fine I can bear it for a little longer until we leave.”

He knew why she was saying no, as she kept glancing over to her bosses and coworkers, so he reassured her, “Everyone is distracted Ella, no one’s going to see.” He understood her distress since he didn’t want her to get in trouble either or for people to talk about things that don’t concern them, but it would be fine.

Blood rushed to her cheeks when he said that, knowing he knew exactly what her thoughts were on the situation, so she sighed and gave in. “You’re annoying.” she stated as she grabbed the coat from him.

With a smirk on his face, he was quick to bite back, “And you’re very stubborn.”

Ella felt the comfort engulf her as she put the jacket on, drowning in his scent. It was slightly big on her but she looked stunning nonetheless, the sleeves covering up her hands made him want to squeeze her cheeks and kiss her. He felt the sudden urge to kiss her.

But they just smiled at each other, enjoying each other’s company far too much for this to be only a friend-through-work situation. His sunglasses were resting on top of her head now, so he stared at her hazel green eyes, getting lost in her gaze. She was staring right back at him with the hints of a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. They were engrossed in each other's features while ‘Howlin’ for You’ played in the background, it was the claps and cheers that brought them back to where they were.

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About half an hour after The Black Keys set had finished, they had left the festival and arrived at the location they were filming. The production crew wasted no time and scrambled off their small bus to start setting everything up, taking advantage of the last minutes of light the sunset offered.

After what felt like another half an hour later, the empty field was now filled with light panels surrounding a black vintage car that was going to be the main attraction for this section of the music video.

Ella went into full work mode right as she stepped out of the bus. She was no longer wearing Alex’s jacket, she changed it for hers as soon as she got in the bus to avoid any questioning, his sunglasses now hanging on the neck of her bodysuit.

She was running around checking on everyone, making calls to the actor who was on his way for the next section of the music video that they were recording tonight as well. The model, Cali, was getting her makeup done after having been put in a skin tight black latex dress with matching heeled boots.

There was so much to check up around that she was definitely sober now. She stood by the directors once the model was ready and she pointed her where to go.

As the directors were busy and everyone was focused on setting audio and cameras up properly, she went back to the bus to retrieve Alex’s jacket.

He was standing on the left side of the production setup, far away in the shadows smoking a cigarette. The rest of the band stood looking as well, only closer to the directors’ chairs. She made sure to make enough noise for him to realize she was there but not enough to disrupt the filming process.

When Ella reached his side, she lightly touched his arm and he turned to her smiling. “Thank you.” she mouthed to him and he just nodded, scared of getting scolded for making any noise that could somehow ruin the shoot.

Knowing she had to leave and be present at her job, she pointed backwards so he got that she was going back to Ben and Aaron’s side. He would’ve loved to have her beside him while they filmed but she couldn’t and she wouldn’t either, she was professional and he had seen that before. So he nodded once again and as he went to take the ashy stick out of his lips, he waved her goodbye.

The model was posing in front of the cameras, getting filmed by two of them when Ella made it back to her bosses’ side. Only ten minutes later they announced they had enough footage of that and they could move on to the next frame which included Alex and Matt.

She had to call them over and the stylists made sure to have them looking good and ready before they stepped into the car. Alex took over the driver’s seat, Matt in the backseat of the car along with Cali.

A speaker they had brought along blasted the song they were filming for, ‘Black Treacle’, and she had to bite her tongue not to sing along.

The directors wasted no time in recording the new shot. Alex mimicked driving while he sang the lines he had composed, acting very confident and collected as he stared up front like there weren't two big cameras up on his face.

In great comparison, Matt sat with Cali on his lap, acting like she was getting off with him; his hands wandering up and down her sides, one of them grazing her ass.

Ben called cut about five minutes later, making Cali take place beside Matt once again. Ella was instructed by Aaron to retrieve something from the production design table, a Lyle’s black treacle can.

The main camera on Alex’s face still rolling as the two behind him listened intently to the instructions. Alex took the time to mess around in front of the camera, lifting his hand up and showing the middle finger to it, to then raise his index finger and make it a peace sign. He put his hand down to, seconds later, bring the peace sign back up, this time slightly puckering his lips up to the lenses.

She came back with the item in hand and Aaron thanked her before swiftly placing it on top of the car’s dashboard, perfectly subtle in the shot. Ben finished with his instructions and went back to Aaron’s side, calling the other camera men to start rolling again. And after another fifteen minutes of Alex’s fake driving and Matt’s fake makeout, the scene was wrapped up.

The two musicians made it out of the car; Cali followed close behind, but walked over to the makeup team where she could sit. Alex spotted Jamie and Nick standing beside Ella, who had her usual blue clipboard held tight to her side.

Jamie smirked at his drummer friend and was quick to tease, “Look at you Helders, getting all the action.”

Ella grinned at the comment before adding, “Yeah, isn’t that meant for the lead singers?” her gaze playful on Alex now, seeing his smirk as reaction to her comment.

“Oh he would love that, just with someone else I’m sure.” Matt trailed off, looking at Alex and then back to Ella.

Alex’s grin faltered at his friend’s statement, his face going slightly pale at the very obvious glance he had given the American girl, one that Ella hadn’t even noticed since she was preoccupied at how he had reacted at the mention of that someone else, feeling a pitiful sinking of her stomach.

“Matt, I swear I’ll kick you if you talk too much.” Alex quickly threatened through his teeth, staring sternly at his friend missing her brief frown.

Ella was quick to clear her throat, bringing an act up and stupidly trying to pry information on who that someone else might be, to settle the fact that everything that had happened today had been nothing to get excited about. Or maybe he was just flirty and she felt dumb for feeling special about the way he acted with her.

She internally laughed at herself for being pathetic and getting her hopes up for getting his attention for a day, she had to remind herself of what was reality. He was a rockstar and she was just a PA. He was constantly touring the world and she stayed in California. He could have anyone he wanted and she was just another girl.

Cursing herself for feeling so down over the comment she forced out a chuckle, “Oh, who’s the girl that has caught your eye? Is she a model as well?”

Alex whipped his head around to look at her, his features coated in confusion. He automatically saw through her, the way she was fiddling with her pen and the lack of authenticity behind her grin, her eyes showed the slightest bit of disappointment. He softly grinned at the thought of it meaning that she found him attractive and liked his company too, but his heart sank as he saw how Matt’s comment had rubbed off the wrong way on her.

He turned back to Matt and scolded him, “Helders, just shut up.”

His need to keep Matt quiet about the matter made her evening bitter, the thought of seeing herself as a fool only cutting deeper inside her. Jamie and Nick laughed, Matt pressed his lips together in amusement, all whilst Ella had to fake another laugh but failed at making it sound real.

Aaron called her up this time, her feet quickly taking her to her boss without even saying bye to the band since she just wanted to get away.

The crew had to put up a bonfire now, so a group of six people started gathering what they would need. The car was moved to the side by a crew member, getting the space free to make the brick circle in which they set the tinder and kindling wood, and then formed a teepee of firewood over it. Ella threw three matches and started the fire, the flames growing taller as the seconds went by, warming everyone around the site.

In fear of the fire burning out too quickly because of the wind, they started rolling the new scene soon after the flames came alive. The whole band was instructed to come in front of the burning wood, and they were filmed standing around it for only five minutes as they grew too hot, too soon.

With a few minutes to cool down, Matt was called in front of it again, to pose for the camera just to have those visually pleasing shots. And lastly it was Alex’s turn. He looked angelic, contrasted to the hell-like heat that burned; his leather clad back facing the camera, all Ella could see was the way the flames outlined his body frame in a way she just had to capture. She placed her clipboard between her legs and was quick to pull her camera to her eyes after turning it on. She took the picture and after advancing the film, quickly turned the device back off, feeling the weight on her neck again but satisfied by immortalizing such a moment.

He was hypnotic to her. The way he moved, the way he talked, the way he looked. Everything he did was smooth and magnetic, and she couldn’t peel her eyes off of him.

She was too enthralled by the singer that she didn’t notice how Matt had caught her taking the picture. He smiled at the sight and at how her shoulders slumped after she had pressed the shutter as if relieved to have caught the perfect frame.

He wouldn’t say anything to her about it but he wanted to make her know he’d seen it happen in a subtle way. So he approached her slowly and once beside her he asked, “Enjoy film photography much?”

Ella turned to see him, wide eyed and flushed but cleared her throat knowing there was nothing she could do if Matt had seen her actions. “A lot, yes. I started back in freshman year of university. Learned quite fast since I took a lot of pictures in frat parties,” She chuckled at the memory, “You become quite popular and invited to each and every one of them when you are recognized as the photographer.”

Matt hummed in response, “I got into photography in college at 16, around the same time I got into the drums. It was mainly because we just had access to cameras and we also had a dark room to develop our own pictures.”

She was slightly surprised but her smile quickly made an appearance on her face. She hadn’t genuinely smiled in a good fifteen minutes. “That’s sick! I’ve always wanted to have a proper dark room to develop. What camera do you use?”

“A Canon Canonet and I love it but I think I might get a Leica next. It’s just hard to let go of the first camera you fall in love with, isn’t it?”

Ella giggled as she nodded, “It really is.”

“Can I give yours a look?” Matt asked, genuinely curious about her gear and she nodded with enthusiasm.

She handed him her Minolta X-370, telling him how she had started in digital when she was in highschool before she saved up enough to get a second hand Olympus OM-10 in university and that was when she had fallen in love with analog photography, that had only led her into a massive spiral of film photography which was now one of her true passions along with videography.

Ella let him take a few shots, telling him how many shots she remembered to have left on the roll and she loved being able to bond with him over photography.

Alex was a few steps away from them when he saw them standing next to each other, sharing a high five. Her arm was on his shoulder while he held her camera in his hands and something inside Alex stung. His jaw tightened but seeing her smiling big after what had happened before made him loosen up again, stubbornly grateful for his friend for bringing back the sight.

The singer cleared his throat and they both brought their eyes up to him. “Hey mate. Was just telling Ellie how I’ve been into film photography since we were 16 and she let me give her camera a go. Can’t say I’ve ever used a Minolta before.” Matt explained, seeing the obvious unsettled feeling his friend was showing.

“Now that I know you take film, promise me you’re gonna send me your scans.” Ella pointed at him seriously, “The pictures you get while on tour must be stunning.”

Matt chuckled and gave her back her camera, “They are. I’ll send you some later.”

A tiny shriek came from her as she hugged Matt briefly, “Okay, I’m going to check on Ben and Aaron now, see you in a bit.” Her steps were fast, making her miss the sigh Alex left out after her abrupt goodbye.

A few minutes later, she had received a call from the actor telling her that he was at the place, so she met up with him and brought him over to get ready. It didn’t take long for the man to be in his costume which consisted of some jeans and an orange flannel.

Taking advantage of the energy they all still had, they didn’t waste more time and drove to a gas station that had allowed them to film, a mile away from them.

Once there, everyone took out their equipment and settled for the filming to resume. Matt had to act like he beat the man up in exchange for his clothes, since the drummer was playing a fugitive who still wore that typical inmate orange jumpsuit.

In the middle of the filming, Matt had started complaining about being hungry and not subtly commenting how good the food from the place crossing the street smelt like so Ella was sent over to the tiny restaurant and came back in record time with a big burrito in her hands.

Matt thanked her and went straight for it, the camera even catching him eating while he was supposed to be in character, driving Alex and Cali. She was sure the editing team would still use the shots though, since they looked so natural and weirdly accurate for the plot.

When the drummer came back out of the car, munching on his food, Ella took the chance of teasing him. “You know, you look like a proper southern dad. A farmer dad.”

Jamie and Nick doubled over in laughter, “Oh my god, he does!” exclaimed the bassist in laughs.

“Mate never move to the south of the states and have kids, it isn’t a good look.” Alex added, struggling to keep the laughs inside.

“You’re all jealous because I’m the main character now.” stated Matt, which earned him multiple head shakes and sneers.

Ella snorted, “Trust me Matt, no one’s jealous of that look.” And with that, laughter rained up on the group.

Their amusement was interrupted by Ben wrapping the evening up, signaling everyone on the Focus Creeps crew to pack up and fit everything back in the bus.

They drove up to the hotel the band was staying at, Aaron having managed to get rooms at the same place for a night.

At the lobby, the crew separated into groups and made a line to retrieve their keycards. Everyone with a backpack on their sides and a tired look on their faces. The British men were far too tired to wait until they were done, deciding to just say goodbye right there and go to their rooms.

Alex went up to the directors, shaking their hands and saying goodnight. The rest of his mates doing the same, and despite wanting nothing more than to hug Ella goodnight, he had to settle for waving her goodbye just like he did everyone else.

She gave him a shy smile and a tiny goodnight that definitely didn’t reach his ears. And with that he went to the elevators, eventually passing out in his bed with her on his mind.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

They had a good night of sleep, despite having to wake up early to have breakfast and check out as soon as possible. They should be arriving at Los Angeles before one in the afternoon, and with a six hour drive ahead of them, they needed to fight the clock.

Her brain had been swarmed by thoughts and she cursed her tendency to overthink for keeping her up longer than she had wanted to.

Ella knew people had noticed how close she was with Alex throughout the day and she knew questions were coming but the palms of her hands still clammed up when multiple people approached her in the lobby wanting to know details on the situation.

She had denied everything, swearing none of them felt any type of way towards the other—even though she knew she’d let her hopes rise up and it had ended up poorly for her. She denied having kissed him when they asked her, even if she’d been thinking about how that would feel all day.

She told them all how he was flirty with everyone, it was his personality so they shouldn’t think anything else about it. She was glad half of them shut up after that, the other half smirking at her, calling her lucky or mocking her words as if to say she was full of shit.

Ella got ready and had breakfast quite early, pinching an Advil from one of her coworkers for the slight headache she’d woken up with this morning. Today was packed: they’d be driving back to Los Angeles and basically recording the whole day, for as long as the sun decided to stay up; so she really needed this headache to go away.

They ended up loading the bus and heading off back to LA before it hit eight, managing to arrive at their location a little bit over one in the afternoon.

It was good that the crew was quick and effective, setting everything up in less than twenty minutes, enough time to have Matt ready and Breana, the new model, getting her hair and makeup done as well.

They were propped up inside an abandoned police station in the middle of the desert. It had a couple of jail cells, a tiny medical wing and some offices for the staff that used to work there.

Right when the cameras were ready to go, Ben had Alex walk through hallways to be recorded like that. He was wearing his typical jeans and leather jacket, with a simple shirt but always loyal to his sunglasses, even indoors. Matt was in one of the cells wearing an inmate jumpsuit, being filmed by two people and guided by Aaron.

She was running everywhere, being needed for small things every five minutes, even having to leave the premises with one of her coworkers to retrieve the rental car they had gotten that was the same make and model from the one they had used in San Francisco the night before.

Ella smiled at Alex when they made eye contact as she made her way to Ben. “Rental is here, we have Breana ready in the wedding dress and Aaron is still over there with Matt, I don’t really know how much he’s got left.” she informed her boss, to have him make the decision on what to do next.

Ben nodded and thought for a couple of seconds under the gaze of multiple people, “Let’s go ahead and do Breana’s shots outside while Aaron finishes up with Matt.”

“Alright, I’m gonna let him know.” just as fast as she said that, she left.

Alex knew that after Matt’s comment on set, she had retrieved back into that shell of hers. He wanted to know why, not trusting himself to come up with his own answers. The one thing he knew is that he’d try to make her feel better today, in any way he could. He’d just have to trust he’d have his chances.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

His luck had run out, or that’s what he thought had happened as he had no chance of talking to her at any moment throughout the day.

When she was free to talk, he was being filmed. When he was given the light to stand back behind the cameras, she was outside filming with Ben and Breana. When he could see her coming inside the building, she was way too busy for him to try and approach her. When they all went outside to join the other part of the crew, he had to go in the car to film with Matt and Breana.

Ella was on full work mode, it was hard to believe she was fighting a resilient headache that hadn’t died down even after the pills she’d taken. She was constantly asking Breana if she was alright, knowing she had to be somehow uncomfortable in a big wedding dress, in the middle of the desert under the blazing sun. A total of four water bottles is what the model had gone through, and Ella was slightly concerned as she was on her fifth bottle herself and she wasn’t the one running for the camera.

Ella trusted her though. Breana, or Bre—how she had told Ella she could call her—, was so nice to her. She had been making her laugh in between takes and she was grateful for the lovely distraction being the model and not Alex.

Maybe, she thought, I can get used to not being distracted by Alex and keeping it professional if I keep busy enough.

Now, after hours since Aaron and Ben had decided to wrap up on the desert scenes and they had all gone to a new hotel close to where they were filming the next day to shower, the whole group had followed someone’s suggestion on a bar nearby and they were surrounded by very American decoration—too neon for her tired eyes—and the constant chatter and clinking of glasses against each other.

The thuds of balls hitting the pool table’s wooden borders were surprisingly loud over the old juicebox machine that was playing some country song she could remember listening to on the radio when driving around the countryside at six years old in her dad’s truck.

Places like this brought her back home, and she found herself rubbing her fingers over her little cowboy hat on her arm while she took sip after sip of her rum and coke, absentmindedly nodding along at her coworker's story from her sister’s bachelorette party.

“Thank God her best friend didn’t end up calling those strippers or my grandma would’ve fainted and made her kick her out before the evening was over.”

Taking that as a cue, Ella straightened up and excused herself to go over to the bar for a refill. The place was fairly busy for a Sunday night, so instead of going back to her friends while she waited for the bartender to take her order, she leaned on the side of the bar’s varnished wood countertop.

“Excuse me.” She heard someone say softly to the couple talking to her right, they nodded towards the person and stepped aside to give him some space.

Of course she didn’t need to turn to see who it was, Alex Turner himself was standing beside her, looking as handsome as ever and smirking down at her.

“Fancy seeing you here.” he greeted, his smirk only growing when she rolled her eyes and blushed.

“Hey Alex,” her voice was soft and if he wasn’t right beside her, he could’ve missed her words. “You enjoying yourself?”

She was adorable, going all shy, and Alex felt slightly bad for coming over with the intention of being explicitly flirty with her but he also wanted to shoot his shot and see her reaction. “It’s been good so far. I actually came here to tell you something.” he left his words lingering in the air and she frowned at the mysteriousness of it all.

He was still smirking though, so it was confusing her a little, “What’s up?”

“I think there must be something wrong with my eyes,” he started and she got a tiny bit closer to see right into his eyes so she could see if he’d gotten anything in them, but he caught her off guard with what he said next, “I can’t seem to take them off of you.”

Ella could feel her cheeks burning up, her jaw had fallen slightly and she almost let out a scoff in disbelief. She ended up laughing as she shook her head, “How much have you had to drink?”

He shrugged and completely evaded her question, “I mean it.” Truth is he had only had two pints of beer, he wasn’t even drunk.

She was sure it was impossible for her cheeks to go redder but they had and she felt them hotter than ever, “Oh Alex, stop it.” she stared at the ground and shook her head.

The bartender caught her attention then and she got another glass, filled almost to the rim. She tipped the man good for the generosity, she really needed the liquid courage if Alex was saying shit like that to her.

But before she could keep the conversation, he leaned into her ear and with his arm snaking around her waist and said “See you around Ella.” and with a gentle squeeze of her side, he left her there, blushing and breathless.

Fucking hell, so much for keeping myself distracted from him.

Thirty minutes later, she felt like she was in those movies where you get stuck in the same day, over and over, because Alex was by her side once more while she waited for the bartender to make his way around to her.

She turned to her side to face him and before she even had the chance to say something he gave her another flirty line, “Serious question,” she nodded at his fake appearance of curiosity, already feeling her cheeks turning crimson by whatever he was going to say, “How does it feel like to be the most gorgeous girl in the room?”

Ella was expecting a pick up line but not that pick up line and she definitely went bright red. She covered her face so he couldn’t see her like that but he had been staring at her face, he hadn’t missed the way she’d blushed even if he’d only seen it for a second before she’d use her hands to hide.

“Alexxxx” she whined, not knowing what else to say, because what could she say after that? She never had a clue of what she was supposed to respond to pick up lines and the fact that it was Alex saying them made it even harder to think. Not just a response, anything. Anything at all.

He hummed in satisfaction, smirking at her,“I like it when you say my name like that.”

Something inside her flipped and she felt a tingling feeling travel all throughout her body, specially feeling those words between her legs. She wouldn’t even dare to open her mouth, scared of the noise or whatever words that would come out so she stuck to shaking her head.

A few seconds later, she pulled her head back up from between her hands, “Do you always tell girls the same lines?”

He shook his head confidently, “No, I promise this is the first time I’ve ever told a girl that last one.”

Ella narrowed her eyes at him, “I don’t believe you.” He’s full of shit, there’s no way he hasn’t used that one before, she thought.

He grinned softly at her, as if to reassure her, “It’s a promise and I don’t break those Ellie.”

In the same second her name had left his lips, the thud of a glass being put on the table was heard. She slapped some ten bills on the side for the man who served her to take and she turned around to the singer to lift her glass up and down her double rum on the rocks.

He chuckled at her, as she wiped a drop of alcohol from her chin and licked the finger she’d done it with. “Okay, easy there Ellie.”

She was feeling a little bit braver by now, and still not believing him she dared him, “Don’t you have any cheesier lines left, Turner?”

He smirked, “Yeah, this one,” he cleared his throat and started, “Excuse me, I don’t mean to intrude, but you owe me a drink…” he took a pause, his facial expression dramatic as he put up a character to deliver the line correctly. Ella was expectantly waiting for the next bit, slightly growing impatient even if it had only been a pause of five seconds, “Because when I saw you, I dropped mine.”

She burst out laughing, not believing him for using that cringey line. “Has that one ever worked?” she asked between giggles.

He smiled amused at her laughter, “To be honest, I don’t think so.”

They both doubled over in laughter, the alcohol making the situation funnier than it was but she was laughing with him and that’s all that mattered, and as she stayed the rest of the night with him, talking and sharing drinks, it made him feel even more pleased. It was a feeling that stuck with him even after the rest of the band and some of the members of her crew joined them for the rest of the night.

After the short walk back to the hotel from the bar that she’d done beside Diana and Tyler, she went up to her hotel room. The night was quiet, hallways echoed at the slightest step you took and it felt like you could startle everyone awake on your floor when you closed the door to your room, but her brain was in a frenzy.

As she dumped micellar water on a cotton pad to take off her makeup, continuing with every step of her nighttime routine, it seemed like her mind wouldn’t shut up about the bar and Alex. Alex at the bar. Alex at the bar with her. Everything he had said at the bar. All the fleeting touches she could still feel on her skin.

Ella felt like screaming at herself, to shut it all up. She couldn’t get her hopes up for some cheesy pick up lines he could’ve googled five minutes before approaching her, for some hugs that maybe were usual for him to give around, for the behavior that maybe was his normal way to be.

He could be flirty with everyone.

She didn’t necessarily know him that well to tell if this was special treatment or if he was that way with every lady he got close with. And on top of it all, he had been drinking, and under the influence she was well aware people tended to turn more flirtatious than usual. Her older sister was living proof of that, and she shivered at the flash of memories that came to the front of her mind with that train of thought.

She pointed at herself in the mirror while brushing her teeth, her eyes stern and seemingly threatening. You either get a grip or you get someone to slap you into consciousness, she threatened herself and with a nod, she finished getting ready for bed. She only hoped that once she got in bed, sleep would get her as soon as her head touched the pillow.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It hadn’t been like that.

Her brain did her dirty once again, and she kept herself awake for way too long overthinking. Just like she always did. Her days were a cycle of constant overthinking, that’s why she made sure to keep herself busy, or to keep a packet of cigarettes and her lighter always on her.

This new day was going to be just as exhausting as the one before it, only even harder due to the hangover she was sporting. She’d taken two ibuprofens first thing in the morning, chugged a bottle of water and put on some cheap black sunglasses she’d bought at a gas station on the last spring break she’d celebrated in Florida with her university friends that surprisingly had survived the wear of the years. Her film camera was hanging around her neck once again, making sure she’d have it with her since regretting leaving it in her backpack instead of taking it to the bar with her the night before.

They all drove to a house a couple of miles away from where they had stayed the night. Still out in the desert, the house was very rustic and had a giant backyard. There was a pool and outside of the fences that surrounded the property was an old stable, surrounded by old cars and a junkyard in which the owner seemed to like to play mechanic.

Bre was getting ready and her outfits for the shoot had Ella’s jaw dropping every time. She couldn’t deny how gorgeous Breana was, and to be honest she might even have a slight crush on the model but she wouldn’t do anything about it.

The day was going by smoothly. Aaron and Ben stayed filming with Tyler inside the house, most of the time the crew was kept to a minimum to keep Bre comfortable when she had to film half naked or topless.

Breana was a good sport though, very professional and keeping a straight face and in character even when Ella thought she’d feel vulnerable, because god knows that if she even had to be in her underwear in front of one single camera she’d be blushing and shaking non stop. Ella was in awe of how easy it was for Bre to strip down in front of Matt—who she’d just met the day before—and the rest of the people standing behind the scenes, and basically act like she was having sex with the drummer.

So Ella was running around as per usual but most of the time it was to have Bre be at her most comfortable state, getting her water when she needed it, handing her a robe if she asked for it, asking if she wanted anything in particular or if she was comfortable with the shot they’d just done.

When everyone came outside and it was time for Matt and Breana to be filmed messing around in the pool, Alex finally saw her behavior towards the model and he couldn’t help but silently laugh. Nick and Jamie confused as to what was the laughter for when Breana was topless diving into the pool now, they thought maybe it was funny because of Matt’s reactions to the model and that was the only conclusion they could get at while watching everything unfold in front of them.

When Ella made her way by Alex’s side and sighed, he chuckled under his breath. She turned to him and frowned, slightly confused at his reaction to her coming his way. “What?” she’d asked rather defensively but still lighthearted.

“I haven’t seen someone act like this since I was in primary school and someone had a crush on a girl from their class.” he smirked playfully at her.

She rolled her eyes, blushing at being caught for tending a lot to Breana. “Oh shut up, you can’t blame me. Look at her, she’s stunning.”

He didn’t take her eyes off of her though as he replied rather lazily, “Hmm, I guess she is.”

She turned to him slightly offended, “You guess?”

He rolled his eyes playfully now, “Okay yes, she is stunning.” He stated one more time but was still watching the American girl in front of him intently.

Ella hummed with a doubtful expression on her face while she frowned, “I thought so… Was starting to think you had some real trouble with your eyes then.”

He took the opportunity to bring yesterday back up then, “I tried telling you yesterday, you wouldn’t believe me.”

Something in her went hot and flipped at the same time, “You’re a tease, you know that Turner?” she nudged him with her hip, making him slightly sway to the side.

“I’ve been told that one too many times.” Alex smirked at her, nudging her back with his hip.

Ella had to force her jaw to stay in place, unholy thoughts making way through her mind and she knew she would go bright red if she kept looking at him while thinking of all the ways she could make him prove that.

She looked back to her front, seeing Breana come back out of the water and hugging herself. She cleared her throat and pointed to her right side, “I’m gonna get her a towel.” she muttered and a shit eating grin was plastered on his face from seeing her reaction to such a simple sentence.

As she left, with the slight sway of her hips and the sight of the high rise black shorts she had on and how they contrasted against her tan legs, he also had some unholy thoughts about how pretty she’d look in between his sheets.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Before the trip had happened, and the list was handed to her at the start of the month, Ella had suggested bringing a biker gang to record with the Monkeys. Because what’s more American than a biker gang.

Ben and Aaron had jumped on the idea straight away, and she made sure to find the friendliest group of bikers out there that were down to appear in the video posing as a dangerous outlaw gang.

An hour later since she had left Alex’s side, she had made her way back to where the band—minus Matt—was standing. “Okay so I have a surprise…” she said in a high pitch tone and with her hands clutching her clipboard tightly to her chest as she rose up and down on her tippy toes as if she wanted to jump on her place but was holding back from doing it.

Nick automatically matched her enthusiasm, “What is it?” he asked effusively and Jamie raised an eyebrow and laughed at his mate’s reaction.

“So I hired a biker gang for the video,” she paused and her smile got even brighter when she saw the three men respond positively to her surprise, “and you’re all joining them on the ride while we film.”

Jamie nodded excitedly, “That’s brilliant, thank you Ella.”

She almost screeched, “I’m so glad you liked the idea, for a second before coming here I got scared you all hated bikes or something.”

Alex shook his head, “We actually have ours at home.”

She gasped, “Oh really?!? Oh my god– Okay, okay, let’s go!” She turned around quickly, hoping they would follow her as she made her way to the big group of sixteen people on bikes that were waiting by the side of the big empty road.

The guys chuckled at her eagerness, and went behind her matching her quick pace. Once they reached the bikers, she made sure to introduce them all and thank them for coming and filming with the band.

She’s adorable, thought Alex.

Ben had gotten four bikes for the band, which were standing a little further behind the large group of bikers. Ella made sure to guide them to the vehicles, Matt already sitting on his with Breana sat behind him. They seemed quite cozy for the camera’s not to be rolling anymore.

As the guys chose their bikes, she turned on her camera. Alex was sitting on the bike he’d chosen, putting the helmet on and the leather gloves that were there as well.

Matt opened his mouth, seeing the perfect opportunity laid out in front of him so he asked in a tone that said he was up to no good, “Ella! Have you ever ridden a motorbike?”

She shook her head, “No, but they seem fun though.”

The biggest, most satisfied grin appeared on the drummer’s face then, “Oh I’m sure Alex would love to take you for a ride.” His tone so suggestive, Breana laughed harder than she’d anticipated, having to hide in Matt’s neck to lower the intensity of it.

Nick continued the teasing, “Alex likes a good ride, you’re assured to have fun.”

Jamie not even missing a beat before adding, “Or you could take her for a ride later if that’s what you both want, privacy and all.” The guitarist winked and she was as red as one could be, but she took her camera and used it as a prop to hide her blush.

In the viewfinder she found Alex flipping off Jamie and Nick who were standing on his right side by the bikes they had chosen. She focused the shot and pressed the shutter, rolling the film to have it ready for the next frame.

Alex turned to Helders then, taking his helmet off to talk. Instead of directing his words to his friend, he sent them to Breana, “I assure you Breana, it’s not gonna be a good ride so don’t waste your time.”

Breana laughed even louder, making Ella do the same and the guys exploded in laughter when Matt copied Alex and flipped him off. “Don’t listen to him Bre, I promise that’s not true. He’s just frustrated.”

“Well that sounds desperate now, Matthew.” Ella chatted back after gaining back some composure.

“No it doesn’t, I’m just saying… It’s not a veridic statement.” The drummer continued pushing his argument.

Jamie snickered, “You’re just making it worse there mate.”

Matt huffed, the bandana covering his mouth blowing at his action. “You know what? See ya’ later, dickheads!”

And with that and a shriek from Bre, he changed gears, pressed the pedal and went fast straight into the empty road.

Ella turned around after the cloud of dust had disappeared and looked at Alex who was squinting from the sun’s intensity and his lack of sunglasses on his face. She still had her camera on and in between her hands, so she snapped one last shot of him with his hair all messy from taking the helmet off and sweaty from the desert’s burning weather.

She advanced the film roll one last time before turning her camera back off and letting it hang on her neck. Nick and Jamie had put on their gloves already and were getting the helmets on their heads when Alex spoke up.

“So are you hopping on or not?” his hands were resting on his spread thighs and she had to force herself not to get distracted by those legs and look up to his face.

“I don’t know… Ben and Aaron might need me and I–”

“They won’t say anything if I explain how I’d refuse to get in the shot if you weren’t riding with me.” he shrugged nonchalantly while she was blushing once again. “C’mon, I wanna be the one that gives you your first ride.” he said innocently, no suggestive undertone.

She raised her left eyebrow and replied, “You wouldn’t be the first one.”

“But you said–?” he continued, confused until he saw her face and realized what she meant. He smirked at her sudden boldness, “Well then, we shall see how well you ride.”

And just like that her boldness was snapped away and she blushed harder. Keeping her stare at the ground as she took her steps over to him and the bike, she reached to grab the helmet Matt had left behind and she put it on carefully under Alex’s gaze. Moving her camera to rest on her left side rather than on her stomach.

Carefully she sat behind the singer, not really knowing what to do with her arms. He saw her hesitating hugging him by the waist so he encouraged the action. “Just hold onto me alright? I promise I won’t go too fast.”

She hummed at his promise, scooting a bit closer to his back so she was pressed into him. Her hands clasping each other around his middle was a sight that made him smile hard under his helmet.

When he revved the engine of the bike, her hold got tighter and he laughed at the tiny shriek she let out. “Don’t worry, I got you Ellie.” He squeezed her right thigh briefly in reassurance, and with the thought of how natural it felt to do that with her, he changed gears and started driving.

They rode the bikes for about twenty minutes, mainly following the same path as the bikers. The cameras followed them and she was living for the thrill it gave her. The day hadn’t finished, yet she couldn’t wait for the next time she’d get to ride a bike.

Taking a break in a long dirt field, Matt and Alex stood up from the bikes, Ella still sat on Alex’s but without her helmet now. Alex’s helmet had taken over his seat and they were all smoking Ella’s cigarettes.

Both musicians had teased her for her selection of cigarettes, “Really Ella? You couldn’t get more American.” Matt had said the second he saw the turquoise Natural American Spirit cigarette pack.

Alex giggled, “What does organic cigarettes even mean?”

She excused herself blushing like she always did. “It means the tobacco is organic,” she rolled her eyes, “but okay, let me be, I just wanted to try them. A friend recommended them to me but I’m waiting to finish this pack to go back to my Marlboro reds. I miss them.” she sighed letting the smoke out of her lungs.

Matt continued to tease, “Organic cigarettes…” he shook his head smiling, knowing that he was pushing Ella’s buttons even more.

“Okay Helders, you know what? Just shut up, I’m never sharing smokes with you again.” she scoffed, not annoyed entirely but she was teasing him as well.

“Good for me if I can avoid whatever this is.” he said waving the half burned cigarette.

She rolled her eyes once more before taking a long drag of her cigarette and then tossing it on the ground and quickly stepping on top of it. “Whatever,” she pulled her camera that was still resting on her side and turned it on, “pose for me idiots, lighting looks good here.”

They stayed where they were, chuckling but turned to look at her. Alex took a drag of his cigarette and Matt just stood there with the bandana around his neck now rather than covering half of his face. After she pressed the shutter once, she used the lever to roll the film and took one last picture. She turned it back off and waited for the men to finish smoking.

And right there her thoughts were once again all taken by Alex. She knew smoking was bad—hell, her mom had given her a huge lecture when she’d first found her smoking on a picture in Facebook, telling her all about how your lungs would slowly die and she’d get cancer if she kept that up. She knew it was true but she still rolled her eyes, she’d grown with the smell of burning tobacco from how her dad would always have at least two a day, what did she expect?

But it truly seemed like smoking didn’t do anything but good to Alex. He looked so especially hot to her when he was smoking. And she swore he could be the example of the arguments to fight the debate on smoking, in favor of the scientifically proven murderous addiction.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The day had gone on, Ben and Aaron didn’t say much about her riding in the back of Alex’s bike. She’d been nervous when approaching her bosses to ask if there was anything she could help with, but she was surprised when they just told her that the bikers scenes had been amazing, they thanked her for the good idea and managing to get such a cool group of people to work with.

She was elated to say the least, a weight lifting off her shoulders at the lack of trouble. She still had had to deal with the curious looks from multiple people on her crew but she was getting used to them now and she had been learning how to ignore them.

One of the last scenes they filmed was of Matt and Breana getting off on top of a UK flag. A fire was burning on a metal barrel beside them, the flames contrasting perfectly against the pitch black surroundings and setting the mood for the couple being filmed.

She wasn’t sure what she was feeling, she just knew Matt and Breana were hot together and she was holding her jaw closed with a bit of struggle. The band was standing with her, Nick and Jamie to her left and Alex to her right. The singer had told his two bandmates about her crush on Breana so that they would keep an eye on her behavior around her throughout the day, so while they were all watching the scene, they’d take turns to look at Ella and the poor job she was doing on trying to keep her reactions neutral.

After what felt like an hour but had only been half of one, Ben had wrapped up the production officially and everyone clapped to themselves and their hard work. Breana was called over by the costume and makeup department and after giving Matt a kiss on the cheek, she left him to get changed. The drummer spotted his friends and made his way to them with a satisfied smile.

But before he could say anything, Ella talked. “Helders, you did a good job… you lucky bitch.” she added that last bit sounding jealous, leaving the man confused.

Alex laughed, “She is a bit too jealous of how close you got with Breana, she’s got a slight crush on her.”

Nick snorted, “Slight? Not at all.”

Ella gasped, turning to Alex who was the only one who had caught her on her crush on Breana. “Alex Turner, you snitch!” she said through her teeth.

“C’mon you think no one would notice?” the singer said in defense.

Jamie aiding his friend and saying, “Yeah Ellie, you’ve been drooling.” The smirk on his face made her roll her eyes embarrassed.

Matt put an arm around Ella’s shoulders then, sighing in a fake defeated tone, “Well, who do I think I am stepping in the way of true love?”

She shrugged his arm off, “Piss off Helders.” she mumbled.

The drummer raised his eyebrows at her then, “You hang out with Alex for a bit and you start sounding British? I’m impressed.”

This time though, it was Alex who replied for her, “Helders… piss off, would ya’?”

Matt laughed, shaking his head and pointing towards Alex while looking at Jamie and Nick as if to say ‘get a load of this guy’. Jamie and Nick gave him knowing smiles, it was painfully obvious that he liked Ella and they were wondering where it would lead to.

Ella had excused herself and gone to help the production team pack everything back up. Keeping the chats with her coworkers to a minimum so she could finish sooner and so she could also avoid any talk about the band—well, Alex in particular.

Since it was a Monday and they had had quite a busy weekend, no one even suggested going out for drinks to celebrate, too tired to think about anything else other than their own beds. Ella had been too, but looking back to everything that had happened in just this weekend alone, had her filling up with a surge of energy that she was struggling to keep down.

Matt and Breana seemed especially affectionate after the production, talking to each other for the hour and a half it had taken for the Focus Creeps crew to fit everything back up on their bus.

Before everyone got to bidding each other farewell, Matt and Breana approached the directors and Ella.

“Ben, Aaron. Was just thinking here with Breana, wouldn’t it be fun if we went to Las Vegas for the day and filmed a bit there? We could get some good footage there.” He sounded very convincing, really trying to sell his idea. Not because he wanted to be filmed more, he’d rather be done with it already but he wanted to spend more time with Bre and Alex to have Ella’s presence for a little while longer too so if this idea would have them that, then so be it.

To Ella’s surprise, Aaron declined on the idea, “I’m tempted to say yes, but we need to go back and start editing and look over the footage just to see if we need to do any reshoots.”

Ben’s addition though was the one that gave her whiplash. “But Ella could go, and film you guys around like she did in the arcade. I know you all get along with her so I’m sure you wouldn’t mind just having her than the full crew.” His suggestion lingered in the air and everyone turned to look at her for an answer.

She opened her mouth to respond but nothing came out of it. Matt looked at her encouragingly, Breana was resting her chin on his shoulder and kept nodding at her to incite her to say yes. Ella sighed and cleared her throat, “Uhm, yes of course I’d love to go.” her voice sounded hesitant as she thought of how on earth she’d go to Vegas if her car was back at the office. “I’d need to go back to the office to get my car though…”

Matt clicked his tongue at her which made her blush, feeling silly. But what had been silly about her comment? How else was she going to go to Las Vegas? In a taxi? That would be worth at least half of her monthly income.

“You’re going with us on the tour bus.” the drummer replied, making her freeze.

“Are you sure?” she had to ask one more time, just to give him the opportunity to take back the offer but he didn’t.

“I am sure.” Matt said confidently, “Bre is coming with us on the bus as well.”

An oh escaped her lips, “Okay, well, erm… Yes, that’s fine by me then.”

Breana let out an excited squeal that made a grin break out on her face. And a minute later she was getting a bag with the camera she’d used at the arcade and a couple more things she could need throughout the day in Vegas.

With her hand clutched on the backpack carrying the filming devices and accessories, and with her other little backpack she’d brought over for the weekend, she walked up to the Monkeys tour bus.

The couple of the hour were there waiting for her and Breana leaped forward to hug her and link her arm with hers to walk into the vehicle. Matt said she could drop her things inside wherever she wanted and that they had enough bunks for everyone so Ella needn’t to worry about anything so she sighed a bit in relief.

The relief only lasted a few seconds since when Matt opened the door to the stairs of the bus, she realized she’d be spending the day with the band and in their environment. With Alex and in his environment. Fuck.

The nerves she had were overpowered by the loud cheering she heard when Breana and her stepped into the main lounge area of the bus. And when Matt opened one of the cupboards on top of the makeshift kitchen sink, grabbed a silver Patron tequila bottle and set it on the table in front of the band, she was weirdly excited and scared for what was going to happen on this trip.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: Vegas babyyyyy!!!!! I love me a Vegas fanfic moment so it was a blessing Evil Twin mv has Vegas clips in it. That's coming to you guys in a fortnight heheh. Any ideas of what will happen?? I hope these two weeks fly by because I'm hurting not posting the next part right now. Thank you so much for reading!! I hope you liked it and I love hearing any and all of your thoughts so please feel free to share them with me! Have a lovely weekend everyone, see you soon! xx

Taglist: @imagine-that-100​ @red---moon​ @kennedy-brooke​ @faveficz​ @indierockgirrl​ @ladydraculasthings @moonvr​ @unwantedlovergirl​ @eaglestar31

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Sliding into yr asks to request an infodump about His Impossible Brushstrokes now that I know there's Rivals-to-Lovers and Horror. I heard that treat tin shake from 15 blocks away.

I am simplifying a bit when I say Rivals-to-Lovers, it is essentially One-sided admiration both ways -> Awkward politeness -> Something More? -> Wait a minute something's wrong here -> [SPOILER EXPUNGED] -> Night Of Terror -> Rallying -> Fight to the death pt. 1 -> Uneasy Alliance -> Genuine (?) Love? -> [SPOILER EXPUNGED] -> Fight to the death pt. 2 -> [SPOILER EXPUNGED]

I suppose everything between "something's wrong here" and the end can pretty much be collapsed into a Rivals To Lovers arc, although the precise emotions in play at any given time is... more implicit than explicit let's just say.

This is perhaps all getting ahead of myself. Let me start at the beginning:

Oscar Skerry is a San Francisco Art Critic with a singular artistic obsession. He loves the strange, bleak and jagged paintings of one Tomasz Gildebrant, a Polish-Dutch autodidact artist, at least he's assumed to be an autodidact, as nobody can find any documentation for his education. There's actually precious little known about Gildebrant, as he has not made a public appearance for decades, and the only a handful of photographs prove his existence.

Gildebrant's art isn't particularly popular, given how unpleasant many of his paintings are to watch in obscure but tangible ways, but a small community of fans, as well as the allure of his mystery, keeps getting his paintings sold. There might, however, be something more to it. Skerry follows a thread of brutal violence and odd obsession that seem to follow the Gildebrant paintings, and in stepping over a fair few ethical lines himself, he even secures an invitation from Gildebrant himself, to join him in his home in the Romanian mountains.

Once he finally meets the artist behind his obsession near the top of the Carpathian alps, Oscar can't quite get himself to believe that this refined, gregarious man produces art so bleak it is on occasion described as Depression Put On Canvas, but still, under the overwhelming almost-romantic friendliness, something else lurks. Try as he might, Oscar can't help but notice the cracks in the facade. Why are there so many different pairs and sizes of mountain boots at the entrance? What secret does the Gildebrant basement hold? Why does every door in the house lock automatically at midnight? Oscar simply must know, but what he will do, what he even could do, with the knowledge Gildebrant's house and mind contains, remains to be seen.

Oh shit, I almost forgot. The above isn't even the first time Oscar gotten himself into an antagonism-into-love situation. It's how he met his best frenemy, Mara. They met just after he moved from Minnesota where he grew up and went to University, and started hating each other in the most heteroerotic way possible just about right away. Oscar would belittle Mara, who in retaliation, or just because she felt like it, expose his parochial origins, mock his pretensions, or just throw shit at him. Things grew a bit messier, but much more interesting when Mara came to realize that Oscar had, and still has, a pronounced masochistic streak, and their relationship took a turn for the sexual. Hate-fucking turned into a more amicable sort of slap-and-tickle, and before they knew it, Mara and Oscar both had come to regard each others as whatever you call the overlap between friends, fuckbuddies, and rivals. Whatever you might call it, Mara and Oscar are still very close, and she provides much commentary on Oscar's ongoing descent into obsession in the earlier act of the book.

As for the status of this whole thing, the first draft is finished, but work on it is on a temporary hiatus as I do a final legibility pass on my previous work, The Clockwork Boy (which sadly contains no rivals-to-lovers at present,) but if you want to keep abreast of the developments when I start up working on HIB again, do feel free to check out my Tag List Post