#scalped from ex-twitter

[travelingtwentysomething]

[lemonlover1110]

𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐋𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡

Toji Fushiguro

Ex-Rated Masterlist

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x f!Reader

Summary: There's an elephant in the room: Your new boyfriend that Toji has yet to hear about, someone that your daughter clearly knows. Toji needs to hear all the details.

Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT! Angst, Smut, Ex-Husband!Toji, Cheating, Vaginal Fingering, Nipple Play, Vaginal Sex, Biting, Scratching, Creampie

Discord +18 - Twitter - Ko-Fi - Bluesky

“I never want to see you again.” Were the last words you told Toji before handing him the divorce papers. As much as you want your words to hold true, there’s no way in hell that you can escape him. 

In the end, he holds the last laugh.

He sits on your couch, making himself feel welcome in your home as your daughter pulls on his hair with claims that she’s brushing it. At least she’s getting payback for her mommy, even if she does it unknowingly. She finally stops when Toji cries out and yells,

“Stop! My scalp hurts.” 

“You’re going to end up ugly.” She responds, and you can’t help but chuckle at her comment.

“No, he won’t end up ugly. He already is.” You murmur, not wanting your daughter to repeat the words back to her father. Though it’d make you proud to hear it from her, you don’t have to incite disrespectful behavior towards her father. 

“I heard that!” Toji yells, and you roll your eyes, muttering yet another comment, this time about his ears. No matter what, in this situation he ends up losing. He picks up his daughter, and puts her down on his lap to keep her away from messing around with his hair.

“Where’s Megumi?” She asks, wondering where her older brother is. If she can’t play with Toji’s hair, she knows that Megumi will allow her to do anything to his hair. 

“With his friend.” Toji answers, and a small pout comes to her face. Not only is she hearing that her brother isn’t here, but also that he’d rather spend time with a friend instead of his little sister. Granted, he does see her a lot, but in her mind, she should be everyone’s priority.

“I want another brother.” She crosses her arms, her little eyebrows meeting in the middle. Toji chuckles. No way in hell is he letting that happen.

“You’re not getting one from me.” Toji responds, though she’s unphased by the answer. Instead, she gets off her father’s lap and runs to you. She looks up at you with pleading eyes, and you pretend not to see her as you wash the dishes in the kitchen.

You still need to have a very awkward conversation with Toji. You don’t want your daughter to speak a little too much about your personal life when Toji is right there. 

“Mommy, can you and Jin give me a brother?” She makes her voice loud and clear, making your heart drop. You feel your blood run cold as you feel his gaze burn a hole in your head.

“Jin? Who’s that, princess?” Toji’s voice gets sickly sweet as he questions his daughter. Something of his interest has come to light, and Toji will do anything to get information about it.

“He’s–” You begin, finally turning your head to look at Toji. The man glares at you, firmly telling you,

“I am asking my daughter.”

“Mommy’s boyfriend.” She lets it be known, and you bite down your lip. A sudden wave of guilt washes over you as the words roll off her tongue, and the feeling intensifies when you see a frown appear on Toji’s face.

“Jin Itadori? The father of Megumi’s friend?” Toji nearly sighs when you nod in response. He rolls his eyes, and tries to mask his anger by acting indifferent. Perhaps you should speak to him about what’s been going on, but you’re too much of a coward to speak up. It’s an intense conversation, one that you shouldn’t have in front of your daughter. 

“Come here, princess.” Toji tells her, but she shakes her head. She wants a baby brother, and since Toji isn’t going to give her one then there’s no point in buttering him up. 

“I’m going to my room!” She yells, before running away from the kitchen. You’re about to tell her to stop, her father came over to spend time with her but she’s run off.

The tension is thick in the air, and you feel your breath get caught up in your chest. You and Toji stare at each other for a long minute before the man stands up from the couch. He begins to walk to his daughter’s room, not bothering to say anything else.

A sigh of relief escapes your body when he leaves the room, even when you know the relief won’t last for too long. You have to speak to Toji about your romantic life, as uncomfortable as it is.

Toji finds himself upset at the revelation of your boyfriend– Not just anyone for a matter of fact, but Jin Itadori. He knows that you’ve had multiple encounters with Jin, and even though he wouldn’t dare question your loyalty before, Toji is now wondering if there was something that you kept from him.

Even if he’s sure that you’ve always been loyal to him, he still hates the thought of you and Jin being together. You’re allowed to be happy with whoever you’d like, but Jin is too close for comfort. Megumi and that Itadori child are the best of friends for fuck’s sake. 

There might be some other underlying reasons for his disapproval of the relationship, but Toji would rather not think about it. He just wants to blame his feelings on the possibility of a past betrayal; something very unlikely, but anything that gets him away from facing his true feelings.

Toji knows that he has to ask you, but he isn’t sure how to speak about the subject when there’s a child constantly up his ass. So when he gets a text from you, asking you to come over to talk, he cancels all plans for the night and rushes to your apartment. 

“Toji.” You awkwardly smile at him as you open the door. You look as you usually do, since there’s no point in dressing up to talk to Toji. The conversation will last thirty minutes at most. You gesture him inside, “Come in.”

“Where’s Asumi?” Toji asks for his daughter as he steps into the apartment. He wants to know where his daughter is spending the night before anything.

“I asked a friend to babysit.” You answer as he makes his way to the kitchen to grab himself something to drink. No matter what, Toji is going to treat your apartment as his own. It’s something you can appreciate when you’re not in the mood for hosting. You clear your throat before adding on, “I didn’t think it’d be appropriate for her to be here for this… She hears more than what I’d like to admit.”

“Yeah, like you calling me ugly the other day.” Toji points out as he opens a strange can that he finds in the fridge. He doesn’t bother reading it, he’s just thirsty and grabs whatever he can find. He knows it’s nothing alcoholic, you don’t drink alcohol anymore. 

“Oh, you’re not going to like tha–” You try to warn him as Toji puts the can up to his lips and begins to chug it. All to spite you. It’s his way of telling you that he doesn’t follow your orders anymore. To his dismay, Toji quickly regrets not listening to you when he realizes it’s vegetable juice.

“Why would they put this in a can? And why do you have this?” He sounds distraught, and it takes everything in you to not laugh at his misery.

“Asumi loves vegetable juice.” You tell him once you’re sure that you won’t burst into laughter in his face. 

“What a little weirdo.” He mutters before walking to the couch and taking a seat. He makes sure to manspread, making himself as comfortable as possible on your couch. He looks at you with a look of indifference– Indifference that tries to mask something else. “What is it? Just get it out of the way.”

“No foreplay, huh?” You respond, and he lets out a low brief laugh at your choice of words. He ends up humming in response, and you take a deep breath to get yourself ready to speak. You lick your lips before an awkward chuckle leaves your lips. You’re not sure how to start off.

“Take a seat.” Toji pats the little space next to him, and you do as he says. “You should start off with when you started seeing him, and make sure that there’s no overlap between our marriage and–”

“Are you asking if I cheated on you?” There’s a hint of offense in your voice, and Toji knows you enough that he picks up on it. But he doesn’t care to take back his statement, he wants an answer. “I should be the one asking you that– You know what, no. Whatever. I started dating him almost a year ago.”

“What do you mean?” He asks, hating the fact that you’re using his own question against him. You scoff, rolling your eyes at him. You can’t believe he’s asking this question. 

“I filed for divorce, and within a week you had a hussy by your side.” You remind him, not wanting to recall the behavior that left a bad taste on your mouth. He wanted to show her off to you, but you remained as indifferent as possible which drove him insane.

You end up standing up from the couch, walking over to the front door. “Actually, thanks for the reminder. I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

“Huh?” He furrows his eyebrows and you loudly yell,

“Get out!”

“No.” He remains glued to his seat, refusing to get up. He wants to hear more about whatever you and your loverboy have going on. “This is clearly a serious relationship, and he could be my daughter’s stepdad.”

“Yeah, that’s all you need to know.” You unlock the door and open it so the man gets out. You’re not going to take his accusation lightly, not after all that he’s put you through. “And for the record, since when do you care?”

“What are you saying?” Toji asks as he stands up from the couch. He walks over to you, one hand going to the door behind you and shutting it. He looks down at you with dark, scary eyes. Eyes that could make anyone fall to their knees, but they’re no longer intimidating to you.

“The reason we got divorced is because you didn’t want to step up as a father.” You point out, and a frown appears on his face. You fight back a smirk, feeling satisfaction with his evident anger. “So suddenly you care? Or do you not like the fact that I have a boyfriend?”

“What? So you’re saying I’m jealous?” Toji avoids reacting with the anger that you’re attempting to fuel. Toji has a cocky smirk on his lips before saying, “Because trust me when I say, I know I’m not missing out.”

“Good, I wouldn’t want you jealous because there’s no way in hell you can get me back.” You respond. You’re about to walk away, but Toji keeps you pinned to the door. You feel as if your heart is about to beat out of your chest in this position– And you know that if you’re kept here for longer then you’ll do something you regret. “Let me go, idiot.”

“We both know you don’t mean that.” Toji tells you, and you click your tongue. He’s right. You still find him attractive, and if he plays his cards right he just might have a chance– No you wouldn’t. You’re happy with whatever you have with your boyfriend, and you won’t let it go to waste for someone as stupid as Toji.

“The same way you don’t mean that you’re not missing out.” You answer, and Toji bites down his tongue. You look away from his face, hating the thoughts that come to your head if you stare too long. Toji should look uglier with age, but it’s the opposite.

“What do you want me to say? That I’m jealous?” He questions, and you roll your eyes. He notices that you refuse to make any sort of eye contact with his face, and he can read you like a book. He laughs. “I’m jealous. Fine.”

“You couldn’t have made it more obvious.” You respond, attempting to get out from the position, but Toji makes it impossible. “Now will you let me go?”

“Now you explain to me whatever you and that idiot have going on.” He says, and you shake your head.

“You didn’t explain whatever you and your girlfriends had going on. I take back my invitation.” You answer, and he puffs out a breath. His hand goes under your chin, tilting your head up so you’re forced to look at him.

“So what? You’re getting payback?” He asks, and to his surprise, you nod in response. He can’t help but chuckle, finally letting you go. You walk away as fast as possible, putting a lot of space between the two of you. “You know, if you want to give me a taste of my own medicine then you know what’ll end up happening, right?”

“No way in hell I’d end up fucking you.”

“For the record, you were the one who fucked me.” You curse yourself for whatever the hell just happened. You’re covering yourself under the bedsheets, avoiding looking at Toji who lays naked beside you. 

This is the reason why you’re never alone with him. You must have one of the kids with you, or else you’ll end up doing something you regret. 

He holds the last laugh, per usual. 

“Are you picking up Asumi tonight or do we have the night off?” Toji asks, and you’re burning in embarrassment. You’re not listening to what he has to say– And oh my goodness, Jin! You invited Toji to talk about Jin, and here you are, laying in bed with your ex-husband.

“I think you should leave.” You murmur, and a cackle leaves Toji’s lips.

“I can leave, but that doesn’t change the fact that we just had sex.” Toji says, and you want to die inside. He pulls the bed sheet down so it uncovers your face. You look so mortified. It’s cute, really. Back then, he was the one that was cheating so it wasn’t a big deal to you. “Oh, c’mon, it’s no big deal.”

“Would you be this laid back if it was you finding me with another man?” You question, and Toji shrugs. He knows he’d be livid, but he doesn’t want to prove your point. You lightly slap his shoulder before telling him, “Yeah, right. You were just asking me if I cheated on you with Jin– Jin!”

“Oh, c’mon, baby. He’s a loser.” He tells you as he tries to bring you close to him again. You can’t be too close to him. Toji has a way of sweet talking you into things that you wouldn’t do due to common sense. He kisses your cheek before saying, “We both know he was the last thing on your mind while you screamed my name.”

“He’s so sweet, Toji.” You respond, though he doesn’t listen. He couldn’t give a shit if Jin is an angel or not. Toji doesn’t like to share. Before you can get another word out, Toji kisses your lips, stopping any trail of thoughts on your end. His lips work like a charm.

His lips move down to your neck, kissing all the spots he just went over. You’re a weak woman. You just told him to leave, yet you won’t stop him as he picks up where you left off. His tongue traces over your breasts, mouth wrapping around your nipple. A soft moan leaves your lips, body feeling so weak with the slightest touch. 

“Toji–” Your breath gets caught up in your chest as you feel his hand go down in between your legs. Two fingers run through your wet folds before he applies some pressure to your clit. Whatever you were thinking a couple of minutes ago, has completely left your mind.

He pushes a finger into your pussy, making your eyes roll to the back of your head. He shouldn’t get such a reaction out of you, but your body is weak for him. It’s why you go back to him so easily. You feel his tongue lick up your breasts to your shoulder before he bites down. The pain is quickly overshadowed by pleasure when Toji pushes in another finger.

“Keep moaning my name, baby.” Toji whispers into your ear as he curves his fingers so they brush against your sweet spot. Your breath begins to get heavy, and all proper thoughts have completely left your brain.

You mindlessly moan his name, your body turning into putty with his touch. He always does this. He makes you feel euphoric so you go back to him. He knows your body so well, and you don’t hate it as much as you should.

“Right there– Oh, Toji!” You moan as you feel his thumb rub your clit. As if just a moment ago you weren’t worrying about Jin, feeling guilty about your betrayal. 

“Does that feel good, baby?” Toji’s voice nearly drives you over the edge. His lips kiss back down to your breasts, tongue flicking your nipple. Your hand goes to the back of his head, pulling his hair as he bites down. 

“Oh, fuck!” Escapes your lips as you feel the sweet sweet feeling build up in your body. Toji’s looking up at you as his mouth sucks on your nipple. He’s watching your face contort with pleasure, and he feels satisfied, knowing that no one will ever please you as much as he does. You’ll never react like this with anyone else.

Toji keeps sucking on your tit until your legs quiver in pleasure, and you reach your high. Toji continues to pump his fingers in and out of you, until he’s satisfied with his work. Until you’re a complete mess around him for the umpteenth time in the night.

“You’re just too cute.” Toji tells you as he unlatches from your nipple, taking his fingers out of your pussy. His lips kiss yours over and over again. 

He gets on top of you, running the tip of his cock through your folds. He won’t give you a minute to calm down. Before his cock can fill you up, you stop him.

“Toji, grab a condom.” You remind him, and he laughs. His lips meet yours again before you feel his lips on your ear.

“Let me feel you raw, baby. Every inch of you.” He whispers, and you’re tempted. You bite down your lip, and Toji can see the temptation written all over your face.

“I’m not on birth control.” You tell him, and he’s unphased by the confession. That’s never stopped him before, it’s how you ended up with a daughter in the first place.

“I’ll pull out.” He promises, and you nod in response. With that, Toji slowly pushes his cock into you. You bite down your lip to not pathetically moan as his cock fills you out again. Toji feels so perfect inside of you.

Your legs wrap around his hips as Toji slowly begins to move in and out of you. He’s holding a moan in his throat. He hasn’t felt this good in a while. Your nails go to his back, digging into his skin as his thrusts pick up speed.

He’s slowly losing control as he gets lost inside of you. He needs you. He hates to admit it but he can’t be intimate with anyone without thinking of you. You’re so perfect for him. It’s good that he doesn’t have to say it out loud. 

“Toji–” You moan, and Toji is glad that your voice drowns out the moan that escapes his throat. He mutters your name, as he feels your pussy clench around him. He feels the jealousy boiling over, mad that he isn’t the one with you.

“Is it good?” Toji asks you before his mouth goes to your shoulder again, biting down again when he feels your nails drag on his back. He’s leaving marks, clearly marking his territory for whenever your boyfriend gets to touch you. 

“Fuck!” You’re loud, making it clear that he’s making you feel so good. He’s hitting every right spot, and his jealousy is fueling his movements. Your hand goes down to play with your clit, eyes rolling to the back of your head again.

“Does he make you feel this good?” Toji can’t help but say as he sees the look of absolute bliss written over your pretty little face. There’s no answer. You’re too caught up in your own feelings to listen to anything.

“Cum in me.” You tell him, out of the blue. He feels your cunt tighten around him as your orgasm approaches, answering all of his questions. You’re rather risky when you’re in the middle of the act. It’s not an opportunity that he’ll pass up on, not when you so prettily say, “Fill me up, Toji. Please.” 

He watches you shut your eyes and loudly moan his name as you reach your climax, yet again. You’re making a mess all over him, yet again. He misses this more than you could imagine. 

“Fuck.” He mutters, his breath getting caught up in his chest as his thrusts get messy. He’s picking up speed, losing control until he finally comes to a stop and his warm cum fills up your cunt.

He stays still for a moment, watching your sweaty face as you catch your breath. Fuck, you’re so beautiful. He hates looking at you like this because it’s the only thought he’ll have for the next month. He’s just going to think of you. 

He pulls out and fully lays down on top of you, a weight that’s too heavy for you to carry but you support him nonetheless. Your hand goes to the back of his head, playing with his hair and kissing it ever so lovingly. 

“I can stay like this forever.” His words come out muffled as Toji’s face rests on your chest. 

Tonight isn’t as petty as the other nights. Sure, Toji is jealous and he’s set on reminding you that no one will ever make you feel as good as he does, but it’s more than that. It’s also a reminder to him of what he’s lost. His inability to accept a situation out of his comfort zone cost him the family that he’s so badly desired. 

Every tactic to get back at you didn’t work. His inability to act like a mature adult ruined everything that he had. And he truly doubts that anything he does will change your mind. The sex hasn’t worked before, it surely won’t change anything now. 

“I want us to be a family.” Toji tells you, face buried in your chest since he can’t possibly look at you now. Not while he tells you how he feels. 

“Toji…” You’re not sure how to respond. You still care for Toji, and of course you have very mixed feelings for him. But you’re not sure if you can be a family. “I don’t think we can.”

“I’ve changed.” He quickly sits up, ready to get you to consider his suggestion. He wants you to completely forget about your boyfriend in the long-term. “I promise, I’m a better man. I’ll be the best husband to you, and the best father to Megumi and Asumi.”

“I don’t know, Toji. I just feel like you should’ve been that man while we were together. We dated for two years, and were married for five.” You remind him, feeling your heart swell as you recall your past. It’s not like earlier when you were angry, you’re mourning a relationship that you poured so much sweat and tears on. “It’s not like we were teenagers who couldn’t handle a pregnancy. And it was fine if you couldn’t stay with me then, but it hurt to see you come around with other women while I was adapting to everything.” 

“I was trying to get back at you–” He tries to explain himself, but you can’t listen to it. You know. And you always made the mistake of sleeping with him to comfort yourself that he was only emotionally attached to you. You should’ve stood your ground then, but it’s too late now.

“For what? For being pregnant? For not ending the pregnancy?” You quickly cut him off. “As if you had no part, as if I had trapped you.”

“I’m sorry.” He tells you, and you sigh, standing up from the bed. Reality quickly settles in, and it serves as a reminder that you need to run to the pharmacy. 

“Yeah.” You respond. “I’m sorry but I can’t. You’re great to our daughter, but I don’t want to test my luck with you.”

“I promise–” He continues, but before he can continue, you shush him. You hear a weird sound from outside the bedroom, and you begin to freak out– If it was an intruder you could send Toji out. He can fight booty naked and still win, but it’s not that.

“Babe, did Toji leave?!” You hear, and your eyes go wide. While Toji fights back a smirk.

You run to lock the bedroom door and you quickly point to the closet.

“Get in the closet!” You half yell, half whisper. But you know him. Toji listens to no one but himself.

“Let me greet him.” Toji stands up, but you’re in the way of the door. He won’t push you out of the way, he’s a gentleman. Which is what leads him to yell very loud and clear, “Hey, Jin! We had a nice chat!”

In the end, Toji holds the last laugh.

[writer59january13]

Non labor (relations) day September 1st, 2023 poem

Aye dream of Genie (as a lad din)

Schwenksville, Pennsylvania -

keystone state abbreviated as Pea Yay, this stupid non huge poem

deployed courtesy scholar

really...a boot nuttin

butta an overrated allay zee good for nothing, bay sic doofus slob, bray

zing as a ("FAKE") ex pence heave

trumpeting (Don Key Oat Tee), chutzpah twittering Prez, - whom stoop “To Kill a Mockingbird” activate hocus pocus “Go Set NRA

as a Watchman,” yepper, hip pip hooray,

whose coon sitters un mensch hen nib bill, one important, non binding willy nilly play book title, sans how to acquire,

tousled windswept coiffed soufflé

rooted under sworn confidential heady testimony (top secret only known between POTUS, FLOTUS, and hairstylist Tiffany Kaljic)

helped grow "The Art Of The De..." lay sham (poo poo) headline kept under ray dar only "How To Get Ri" Dove lousy tonsuring service, and how easy to get Head & Shoulders above fray dee cats - meowing over petty files

versus joining gravy train via tracking "FAKE" pussy footing faux Trump wannabes, hence ICE hay

immediately railroad competition

viz, against ISIS speck did Amazon tubby a root cause

thus resorting to

"Midas Touch: Why...Enter risk to get scalped, when,

(though periwig poor hirsute substitute), I belay burr the point far y'all

(get a Fred – Roger over) to hoist

by one's own petard oye vey,

while channeling das directv gray

gore re: haired (50 shades), and direct descendent from Kublai

Khan, a moost deplorable display

yellowish, venomous, serpent,

which poisonous scorpion size prey

with deadly fangs straight

(tinned by orthodontists),

a perfect set pearl whites in an array

as daggers hissed ("FAKE")

snaky intergenerational viper, and

true tomb ice elf flave

heard like a pampered baby

(nick named Keebler Khan)

unthinkable alternative little cookie

(forever shunned near and far away)

if this poetaster doth betray his (my) devout followers, no matter

admirably, dutifully, and gracefully fulfilling role as sommelier

replenishing wine goblets

with vintage chardonnay,

nonetheless reprimanding recalcitrants, who opt to breakaway slamming, shaming, and scathing

rants against brand name Matthew Scott Harris finds himself a castaway, thus unsure, how to write without delay

an insipid poem to pay

(overtime) homage about Labor Day

prepping mental gears glommed together like clay

while cruising at mach speed faster then cruising (Tom Hawk)

along the (Al Gore) rhythm information

super highway expressway axe chilly (sh...don't tell a soul lest I club burr you - ha juiced tees zing), yours truly intends

to play umpteen (close

to a bajillion) rounds of golf

on the Harris fairway

Lest a Tony (nay)

boar hood tiger jumps

out of the woods painfully sinking

sharp teeth into mine flesh for play jour rising quickly making mince meat then fillet mignon before (prestidigitation i.e.presto) magically regurgitating my self fully intact

as repurposed slimy trumpeting popinjay.

[bit-b]

The Pi's gone bad...

TL;DR: Raspberry Pi showcased police surveillance and police activity in a positive light. And that makes the Bit upsetti spaghetti. ------------------------------------ I don't know how many people on Tumblr are into geeky computer tech, but I felt like making a blog post to vent my frustrations about a recent goings-on. There's a company called Raspberry Pi that's been around since 2011 (with early development of Raspberry Pi starting around 2006). They're known for making small micro-computers the size of a credit card. It was originally an education initiative to get kids interested in coding. These computers run Linux, have a variety of ports for various uses and flexibility, and have a very low introductory cost. They've been utilized in all sorts of places. -Hobbyists used them in custom builds for robotics and automation. -Coders have used them to create all sorts of programs that help with entertainment, productivity, internet security, etc. -Educators have used them to help teach the fundamentals of Linux to students. It's a group and product that I've supported for a long time.

WELL, on December 8th, Raspberry Pi made a news post on their site announcing that they've hired a new person. Which is totally fine. It's good to see company growth. Only, this person was an ex-policeman in the UK surveillance division.

In the interview for the article, this ex-policeman said: “I used to be a police officer tackling serious organised crime and terror threats across the east of the UK. I was a Technical Surveillance Officer for 15 years, so I built stuff to hide video, audio, and other covert gear. You really don’t want your sensitive police equipment discovered, so I’d disguise it as something else. The variety of tools and equipment I used then really shaped what I do today.” "I started playing with Raspberry Pi hardware at home around the same time I started using Linux at work. I have used Raspberry Pi a lot in various police tactics over the years. They were dependable, low-cost, portable, and supported by such an awesome community. I tried almost every ‘fruit-based’ single-board computer out there, but I always came back to Raspberry Pi." Now, I don't blame Raspberry Pi for their computers being used as surveillance devices. It's a very open-source type of device. People are gonna get ideas. And sadly, using a micro-computer for this kind of job makes sense. HOWEVER, Raspberry Pi have full control over who they choose to hire. AND they have full control over what they choose to post to their website. If this hire and this information are things that they are happy to showcase to the world, I can't interpret this any other way than them endorsing their product for secret surveillance. Others saw it the exact same way. People went to the replies on Twitter and Mastodon to voice their concerns. But the social media manager chose to start blocking and hiding posts from people that were talking negatively about the ex-policeman and/or the article. To be fair, there were a LOT of hateful and trollish posts. And I DO NOT in any way support the harassment of anyone. Still it's not a good look to silence criticism on something so potentially contentious. It's ESPECIALLY not wise to word your replies to these comments in a dismissive and antagonistic way.

I don't know if they're still blocking people and hiding comments at this point. There seem to be plenty of angry comments left under their Twitter post. So I'm gonna guess they decided it wasn't worth trying to fight. On top of this issue, people continue to point out that it's legendarily difficult to purchase a new Raspberry Pi computer nowadays. The retailers that sell individual units can't seem to keep steady stock. This means that you either have to be VERY lucky when a supply drop happens, or you have to buy one of the scalped units being sold on either eBay or Amazon. The deluxe model is routinely sold for twice it's normal price.

That being said, if you're a business and want to buy a bulk shipment of Pi computers, that option is still readily available. Seems like the Pi company is more than happy to move inventory around if it means getting bulk batches out the door for businesses that want to stick Pi computers in random things (whether it be service devices or consumer products). And that's who I think Raspberry Pi's current REAL customers are: big businesses with big pockets. I don't completely believe that they hired this ex-policeman for the sole purpose of pushing the idea of using Pi computers in covert surveillance to law enforcement. That hinges on conspiracy talk. But I DO have a suspicion that someone in the marketing department saw the opportunity. The interview at times has an ere of advertisement. It puts Raspberry Pi computers in a position of looking like the perfect solution for police equipment. This is all my own interpretation. I can't really know 100% what their intentions were with this. I could be completely off on my assumptions, and they could turn around and say that it was a complete misfire on the PR side of things. What I do know is that I am now much more wary about Raspberry Pi. I once had interest in seeing how their newer units performed. But now I can't in good conscious hand my money over. I'm a major advocate of only allowing the police what they need within reason. And surveillance like this steps over that boundary. I was one of the first people who ordered the OG Raspberry Pi. I have great memories of learning Linux and tinkering around with it. It's one of the big reasons why I'm so interested in Linux today. I hope the Raspberry Pi company takes a minute to remember where they started. To remember their original goal. Making learning and computing accessible to all.

[wickedghastly]

Where can I find info on princess nokia blackfishing? I thought she was Afro latina, im not saying she isn't blackfishing I just want to find more info on it

I have no idea how long ago you sent this but:

Literally if you just look at images of her you can physically see her morphing herself over the years into looking Black.

I had to research/come to the conclusions and look for this all myself. Some keywords that might help is that she used to go by themermaidgirl and wavyspice with the word tumblr on google (those were the names she went by before she switched to princess nokia.)

On her Blackfishing:

I basically found out through google after seeing what she looked like in her infamous “so juicy so fertile” Vogue video that she Blackfishes because I noticed she obviously uses tanner (Face lighter than body with different tones). I started googling her old pictures and social media names and...yeah here we are.

She deadass darkens her skin artificially, wears fake Afro wigs, and gets lip injections to make herself look Black, and is lying about being AfroPuerto Rican, she’s been lying about being Indigenous as well.

How you go from this: 

To this: 

Her own ex-friends have said she’s not Black and called her out for it. Actual Taino Indigenous people have repeatedly called her out for lying about being Taino.

If you look at pictures shes posted of her family literally none of them are Black. They’re more than likely white or majority white/mestize. None of them in Puerto Rico would be considered Black. None of them. Like my mother’s family is literally all very much white Puertoricans who come from white European colonialists in PR, and that side of my family look JUST LIKE the people in these pictures. She’s not ambigious mixed Black, she’s straight up Blackfishing and pretending to be Black.

She is literally mestiza/white Latina cosplaying Afro-Indigenous Latinidad. Like straight up fucking cosplaying being mixed and cosplaying being spiritual/in Afroreligions. 

Like who tf sits there for instagram smoking cigars with a golden headwrap showing the viewers a Yemaya oracle card like she’s really doing something except for people who are using ATRs and shit for social media clout liiikkeeee.......She can smoke all the cigars she wants, that’s not gonna make her AfroPuertorican or Afrotaino for shit. It’s fucking embarassing.

I swear the reason she’s always going on about being mixed Afro-Indigenous is because in Latino culture, including PR culture, there’s this incorrect idea that we’re all European/African/Indigenous, therefore any Latino can claim Afrolatinidad. Obviously that’s not true. But I’ve even heard this stupid shit in progressive/activist circles. 

And with ATR/ADRs and Brujeria becoming more visible and popular in recent years, why wouldn’t she jump on it to capitalize off the craze, considering that’s what made her popular? So I deadass wouldn’t be surprised if this is why she tries saying she’s Black when clearly neither she nor either sides of her family are any sort of Black Puertorican. But she’s been called out for this shit so many times, nobody can say she’s just ignorant, at this point she’s been telling people straight up lies.  

She wears Afro styled wigs and then lies about it being her real hair. And people have apparently called her out before but she was adamant that its her real hair. You can tell that its not her real hair, and that her actual texture is wavy, not curly.

Those are all wigs. All 3 of them in the images. You can literally tell they’re wigs. Esp in the middle/second pic, look at those roots. You can see the braids underneath and how the curls aren’t actually connecting to her scalp. Bc those are fucking wigs. Even in the bruja video, she was wearing a fucking wig.

Why do you think she goes from a light tan, to a much darker warm almost orange shade, to a neutral medium shade, back to a super dark but more olive/green toned shade? Because that’s not what her actual color is. 

Have you noticed how in a lot of photos of her, her skin is sort of patchy with random spots, or her face is super pale without makeup compared to a much darker body, her body most times being a much darker color than her hands? Why sometimes her nails look dirty?

It’s literally because she uses artificial tanners/spray tan on her skin. She’s always a different shade because it goes between being fresh and faded or she switches up the brands/colors/products she’s using.

Like look at her fucking hand compared to her face (and check out the injections) like wow:

She gets mad fucking CCs of injections into her lips to make them look fuller than they actually are. And she’s been getting it done for ages. In recent moments she’s been doing.......alot.

She’s 100% A Blackfisher like it’s fucking crazy because I didnt know that wasnt what she naturally looked like. honest to god this had me so fucked up and I’m still so fucking mad over this. I had heard people repeatedly saying she wasn’t Black and figured it out through just searching up on google. She’s absolutely fucking wild for profitting off of the idea that she’s AfropuertoRican and acting like shes supposed to be some sort of representation for us when she’s been fucking lyinggggg. Faux-spiritual and faux-Black as fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucckkk and making money off of it.

I even saw that she apparently tried to argue with a visibly Black woman who was calling her out, that the Black woman’s skin looked fake and orange and was probably a tan on twitter. Like. GIRL GET AWAY FROM THE MIRROR BECAUSE....

She’s fucking WILD.

[parkswritessometimes]

Only For You

Egotober Day 11: Game

“Hey ya know, I can record for you today.” Chase rolled his eyes as Jackie sat next to him. “I know you weren’t feeling well last night, so why don’t you take the day off and I’ll record for ya.”

Chase sipped his morning coffee, pulling the blanket closer to his chest pretending he didn’t hear Jackie’s comment. He scrolled through his phone, finding the latest Twitter drama a lot more interesting than whatever Jackie could offer him.

“Chaser, come on man.” Jackie groaned, poking Chase’s arm. “Don’t ignore me.” Chase placed his coffee down on the table, his patience growing thin. His hangover migraine was worse than normal and he just wanted to do his job and go back to bed. He pocketed his phone before picking up the blanket and walking away.

“Chase. Hey. I saw the video. Can we please just talk?” Chase froze in the middle of the hallway. Shit. Shit. Shit. He thought he deleted that video. No one was supposed to see it! Was it still up? Fuck. 

He didn’t mean to spill his guts out to the camera, it just kinda happened. Everything in that game was so raw. It was like that game was reaching into his soul and plastered all his deepest insecurities on the screen. Every day was the same, nothing ever changed. He smothered the emptiness with starvation and alcohol, a stupid, desperate attempt to feel something.  But nothing ever came. Jack was in a coma, Henrik was gone, and his own wife took his kids and won’t give them back. 

“Chase, hey. Chaser-Racer. Come on man, you gotta talk to me.” Jackie’s hand gently grabbed Chase’s shoulder, sending a shiver down his spine. How long had it been since someone last touched him, showed him any sort of physical affection? His best guess was the last time he saw his kids three weeks ago, but that was such a brief fleeting moment. “Chase.”

The tenderness in Jackie's voice caused a flood of tears to rise in Chase’s eyes. He was so used to anger in his ex-wife’s voice. Hostility in the comments. Marvin’s snarky remarks. The judgmental cashier at the liquor store. But here Jackie was, being so kind and using the softest voice he could muster. 

“I-I don’t know what happened. I didn’t drink that much.” Chase mumbled, his eyes focusing on the ground. “I didn’t-I didn’t mean to post that video, I don’t even remember doing it! I privated it the second I woke up and-”

Chase's words were cut off the second Jackie pulled him in for a nice, warm hug. Chase clung to the red hoodie as tears finally came out. Chase pressed his body into Jackie’s, needing to be as close to Jackie as humanly possible. 

“Jackie I didn’t mean to-I’m sorry. I know I fucked up. I know I put us in danger.” Chase stammered through every excuse he could think of. Any reason for Jackie to stay with him. Stay here and protect him.

“Chase, I say this with all the love in my heart, shut the ever-loving fuck up. You had a bad day and made a mistake. I’m not mad. Just, take a break man. Let me record today while you go and visit Jack. Okay? It’s been a while since you went to say hi.” 

Chase shook his head into Jackie’s chest. Recording was the only thing he was good at. It was the only thing that made him worthwhile. That's the only reason Jackie and Marvin put up with him. It was his purpose, his worth. If Jackie took that away from him, he wouldn’t have anything. 

“Chaser, let me do this for you. I’m so worried about you. Chase, please.” Jackie breathed. Chase swore he could feel his older brother's tears hitting his scalp. Chase silently cursed himself under his breath. How dare he hurt Jackie like that. How dare he make Jackie cry over his selfish move. How dare he manipulate Jackie into caring about him that much. 

Chase's chest shook as he attempted to get oxygen into his lungs. He distantly felt Jackie’s thumb brush over his beard, a silly habit he had developed when he was first created. Chase’s lips pulled apart, forming a small soft smile. His eyes glanced up at Jackie’s, wanting, needing his big brother's support.

He had forgotten how beautiful Jackie’s eyes were. Beautiful blue iris’, full of promise and hope. Eyes that had made endless promises of love, of kindness, of life, and hope. Jackie had fulfilled every promise he had ever made to him.  

“Take a break, for me,” Jackie whispered. Chase nodded as he leaned into Jackie’s gentle touch. His big brother had done so much for him, if this could be the thing to make Jackie happy he’d do it. He’d find a different way to provide, to be useful. 

“Okay. Okay, Jackie. For you. For you. Only for you.”

Prompt by: @tracobuttons

[hockeylvr59]

Secret Love Part 19 || Cale Makar

Requested: [ ] yes [x] no

Authors Note: Was hoping to come home to Cale having poured a me a glass of wine ready to celebrate my externship (and me surviving the longest day of my week)....sadly that’s just not reality and this is the only Cale I’ve got so...it’ll just have to do I suppose. 

Warnings: moderate angst, internet trolls.

Word Count: 2,443

~~~~~

You were in the middle of a house showing when your phone started buzzing incessantly. Not wanting to seem unprofessional, you ignored it as you talked with your clients about the features of the house before sending them to explore on their own for a few minutes. 

Checking your phone you saw that you had missed three calls from Laura. There was no reason for her to be calling you repeatedly unless something was wrong and you quickly called her back, your heart pounding. 

“Hey mom I’m in the middle of a showing, what’s up?” 

“Have you heard from Cale today?” She asked.

“Not since first thing this morning…” You replied, anxiety growing. “Mom what’s going on?” 

“Cale’s not answering his phone. We don’t know where he’s at.” You could hear Gary in the background as the two of them rambled back and forth. “Y/N...there are some pretty nasty rumors online about him…” 

Your heart plummeted to the ground and your stomach twisted violently. 

“Send me screenshots?” You pleaded. After just a minute or two, images flooded your phone that made you want to physically vomit. 

Guess even a Calder trophy winner can be a deadbeat dad. 

He’s on vacation while she’s waitressing...classy move there Cale. 

Guess he’s not so perfect after all is he? #quinnshouldhavewonthecalder

Hearing the footsteps of your clients, you pocketed your phone attempting to mask all of the emotions rushing through your mind. After chatting with them about the house, you moved to leave and though you had planned to take them to see two more, your heart just wasn’t in it. Explaining that a family emergency had just popped up, you promised them you would reschedule as soon as possible before sliding into your car. 

Your attempt to get ahold of Cale went straight to voicemail and you groaned just wishing he would pick up. Opening first instagram and then twitter you realized just what had started it all. The avs had posted a summer update about Cale with a few pictures from Iceland that he must have sent their pr department. The top reply on twitter linked an instagram post from Sara’s page where she was obviously pregnant and wearing a waitressing uniform. Her vague status read ‘working for that dough since my baby daddy is useless’ You’d barely looked at all and you were already furious and devastated, you couldn’t even imagine how Cale was feeling. 

Driving home, you called your favorite coworker pleading with her to take what appointments of yours today she could before calling the rest to reschedule. With your work commitments being taken care of, your plan was to go home and change before trying to find Cale. The moment you pulled in your driveway, however, you felt your heart settle because that was definitely Cale’s car. Dialing Laura’s number again you shut your car door quietly, not sure what state you’d find Cale in on the other side of your front door. 

“Hey mom...his car is here. I don’t know what I’m about to find but you know I’ll do everything I can…” Laura insisted that you could call right back if there was anything you needed and after hanging up with her, you slipped your key into the lock, pushing your way inside. 

The house was quiet and after toeing off your shoes, you padded down the hall in search of your boyfriend. The sight that met you as you reached your bedroom door broke your heart. Cale was curled up on your bed, his shoulders shaking with sobs. 

Crawling in beside him, not caring if your dress got rumpled, you pulled his head to your chest, cradling his large frame as best you could. 

“I’m here...I got you.” You whispered, one hand scratching gently over his scalp while the other ran up and down his back. Though Cale buried his head against you, he didn’t react otherwise and you felt his tears gathering against your skin. “What can I do Cale?” You whispered eventually, hating the helpless feeling this situation had left you with. 

The silence of Cale’s response made you swallow hard. You wanted to scream from the rooftops about how people were making false assumptions, how Cale was the victim in this not his ex, how even if they were right it was none of their fucking business in the first place. But you knew it would only make things worse. The only real option was to let things die down on their own. You knew the truth, Cale’s family knew the truth, your family knew the truth, Cale’s teammates knew the truth. What anyone else thought really didn’t matter but that didn’t make it hurt any less. 

When Cale finally cried himself to sleep in your arms, you continued to hold him for a few minutes before you finally pulled yourself from bed. Changing clothes, you grabbed your phone and stepped out to the kitchen for a glass of water, dialing Laura again as you leaned against the kitchen counter. 

“How is he?” She asked immediately. 

“He’s asleep now. Finally cried himself out.” You mumbled. “He hasn’t said a word mom. It’s obvious he’s devastated, but I don’t know what to do. How do I fix this?” 

“You can’t.” She admitted sadly. “Just be there for him. That’s all you can do. It may not feel like much but I’m sure he appreciates it. I appreciate it. I’m glad he’s not alone. That if he didn’t feel comfortable coming home that he felt comfortable enough to go to your home. He’s safe and you can get through this together, we can all get through this together.” 

“Why do people have to be so mean?” You vented, just frustrated with all of it. 

“I can’t answer that. But don’t let this rock your relationship, that would only be giving these people what they want.” She insisted. 

“I’m not going anywhere mom. Cale is stuck with me.” Your words made Laura laugh and you sighed softly. 

“I’m sure he’s so upset about that.” She teased. “My son is absolutely gone for you. I don’t know how I didn’t see it before.” 

“I don’t know mom…” You grinned shaking your head. “Makes me wonder what else he got away with that you don’t know about.” You joked. 

“Not funny Y/N.” She lightly chastised. Taking another sip of water you heard the buzz of a phone that wasn’t yours and you followed the sound, finding Cale’s phone with his keys at the front entry. 

“Hey mom...I’m gonna let you go. I don’t want to leave Cale alone too long even if he’s sleeping.” You said, tucking your phone against your ear as you flipped Cale’s over seeing strings of notifications flash across the screen. 

“Sounds good dear. Love you. Let us know if you need anything.” 

“Will do...love you too mom.” 

You didn’t want to invade Cale’s privacy too much but even a quick glance at his phone told you that his teammates were worried about him. Unlocking his phone with the code you’d memorized just a few days into vacation, you opened his group chat and started typing a message. 

Hey guys, it’s Y/N...I haven’t read more than the 1 or 2 messages that flashed across the notifications screen because I don’t want to overstep. Just thought you guys should know that Cale really isn’t in a mindset to look at his phone. He’s not ignoring you...I’m sure he’ll get back to you guys soon...he just needs some time to process. If you have any urgent concerns my cell number is (587) 122- 3456. 

Before you could talk yourself out of the message, questioning if even that was too intrusive, you pressed send, dropping Cale’s phone back with his car keys. It didn’t take more than a minute for your phone to ring and though you hesitated, answering revealed the voice of Gabe Landeskog. 

“Y/N? This is Gabe.” He greeted. 

“Hey Gabe.” You whispered, moving over toward the couch so that you were a little bit farther away from the open bedroom door. 

“How is he?” The question made you sigh, your head falling back against the couch. 

“Not so good.” You admitted. “He’s asleep right now...hopefully his dreams provide him some peace.” 

“And how are you?” He followed up, not bothering to comment on Cale’s status any further.

“Heartbroken. Angry. Helpless. Take your pick.” You groaned. “There’s nothing I can do but be here and it’s frustrating.” 

“Being there is probably more significant than you realize Y/N. Cale is a very private person and if he trusts you that’s not nothing.” As Gabe spoke you realized that even though you’d told your parents about your relationship, Cale must not have told anyone else yet. 

“I know it’s not. I just…I want to fix it. And I know I can’t. I know we just have to wait and let this die out. But in the meantime I have to watch this tear him apart. It’s hard.” Gabe hummed in acknowledgement, a slightly uncomfortable silence filling the air for a moment before he spoke again. 

“All the guys have his back...your back if you guys need anything. I’ll try and get them to back off a little so he’s not overwhelmed when he’s ready to talk. And I’m sure Cale will appreciate you reaching out to us on his behalf. I know the guys are relieved to know he’s being taken care of.”

“Thanks.” You breathed, still thrown by everything that had happened today. 

“Well I’ll let you go. And Y/N... I’ll have Mel add your number to the Better Halves chat...glad you guys figured it out.” Gabe was just a little too intuitive and you shook your head as you ended the call. 

Cale was still asleep when you crawled back into bed beside him, your hands rubbing soothingly along his skin again. With your brain focused on what you could possibly do to make things better, you missed Cale starting to stir, his blue eyes droopy as he peered over at you. 

“I’m sorry…” The sound of his voice made you jump and when you looked over at him, you saw the distraught expression remained on his face. “I shouldn’t have dragged you into this…” As he spoke he shifted to sit up, his legs swinging over the edge of the bed. Moving alongside him, you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling his body back against yours. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for Cale. You did nothing wrong. This is not on you. This is on the idiots who think they know what they’re talking about when they don’t even have the most basic of their facts straight.” Cale flinched just slightly, but you felt it, your heart picking up speed. 

“I still caused you pain. I’m not supposed to do that.” Something told you that the next words to come out of your mouth were possibly the most important words spoken in your relationship...more important than ‘I love you’ had been. 

“Cale Douglas Makar…” You declared, refusing to let him get up from the bed as you shuffled to stand in front of him. “You listen to me and you listen to me well. You are not the cause of my pain. I hurt because you hurt. The people that hurt you are the ones that hurt me...not you.” Forcing Cale’s cheeks up to look at you, you brushed your thumbs along his jaw. 

“Never apologize for ‘dragging me into’ something. We are partners, we are equals. You cannot carry the emotional burden of this relationship alone. And lately you’ve been doing more work in that regard than you should. So DO NOT apologize. It’s my turn to carry the weight. Let me. Let me support you like you’ve supported me. Let me care for you like you care for me. Maybe I can’t physically carry you out of a lava tube...but I can lift you up emotionally, mentally...I can give you the strength to get through this. You are not alone. You have me. And I’m strong enough to handle this even though it upsets me. Use me. Please. Don’t push me away because you think you have to protect me and handle this on your own.” 

Cale’s tears dripped along your fingertips and you leaned forward pulling his body into yours. 

“We’re gonna get through this Cale...it’ll all blow over. And when it does it’ll just prove to the rest of the world what we already know. That you’re incredible. And we’re unshakable. So whatever you need. I’m here. All you have to do is say the word.” 

“I love you.” Cale’s words were muffled by your clothing, but you heard him loud and clear. 

“I love you too. Always will.” You assured him, nails scraping against his scalp again. Staying like that until his breathing steadied, you dipped down to kiss him gently but deeply. 

“C’mon...let’s order a bunch of junk food, put some stupid comedy on tv and just relax.” You directed. “Though you should probably call mom first. She’s a little concerned and I know hearing your voice would make a big difference.” 

When he nodded, you stepped back, though you didn’t make it far before Cale was wrapped around you again. If he needed to be a koala tonight, you were perfectly okay with that. 

“Do you wanna use my phone so you don’t have to look at yours?” You asked softly. “I did jump into your team group chat to tell the boys to back off a little so you shouldn’t have as many notifications but you can use mine if you aren’t ready to deal with any of that.” 

Cale didn’t seem at all fazed that you had used his phone but he willingly accepted yours, calling his mom. You’d placed an order for food on your laptop while they talked and upon the end of that conversation, you settled in on the couch for the night, only moving for food or drinks. As another episode of the sitcom Cale had picked ended, you looked down at him snoring softly, his head on your chest. 

Today had been exhausting...this week had been exhausting, but you’d dealt with it together and now Cale knew that he didn’t have to bear the weight of the world by himself. You were bound to have bad days every now and then, but together you could get through so much more than either of you could separately. 

[p---ink]

Stark Contrasts Chapter Five

Author’s Note: This is the last installment, in my Tony Stark Fan-fiction. I loved writing this, but I am also happy to see it come to an end. Please, tell me what you think of this. I can only get better. It means the world to me when I get comments, so let me know how this makes you feel. Also, to my artists out there...I promise I don’t know jackshit about art, so please dont come for my throat. Everything is purely fictional. German speakers, I used google translate, please tell me if anything is off. I love you guys! Thanks for reading!

Summary: Y/N tries to adjust to her life away from Tony. 

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Smut. In that order. 

Song: I had the song I saw you in a dream by the Japanese House, in mind while writing this. 

Word Count: 11.2k

Parts: one | two | three | four | five 

Chapter Title: The Ends of the Universe

Disclaimer: Picture is not mine. 

Berlin, Germany. Pepper Potts sent you to Berlin. Fucking. Germany. While Berlin was breathtakingly beautiful, and to your surprise very diverse, you knew nothing about it. Nothing about the way of life there. Nothing about the people. To say you were nervous would be an understatement. Scared, would still not do your emotions justice. You were in a place you had made no preparations for, as well as no thoughts of ever visiting. But you guessed that was the point. 

Tony would never look for you here. 

Six months. That’s how long you would be here. Pepper had taken care of everything. The rest of the semester and classes that you were enrolled in before you left, were now moved online. It was that or completing them the next semester. Usually, your university required students complete all prerequisite courses before they took on any internships within their respected fields. So how Ms. Potts got your Dean to agree to such an outlandish change of pace for one of her students, you would never know. What she achieved was unprecedented. That was when you learned quickly to never underestimate her. 

Six months. That’s how long you would be away from Tony. Well actually, the idea, as Pepper calls it, is that you two will have moved on from each other by the end of it all. You weren’t even supposed to contact him when your time was up here. In fact, as long as you were in Germany, you were not to contact anyone you knew. 

Pepper had assured your family and friends of your well-being ahead of time. No they could not know of your location, nor contact you, but they were ensured that you were safe. It took some heavy convincing on her part to get your family to agree, but ultimately they did. In their eyes, they were supporting what was best for you. 

Nao, on the other hand, was not keen on just letting you leave the country. Though your friendship had less than a few days to develop, she became very protective over you. She felt that your leaving was downright bullshit as well as unfair. “Why should Edward fucking Stark, get his happy ending?” She spat. She was also not as willing to trust Pepper as you were. But because you had already made your decision to leave, you entrusted her with the secret of your hidden twitter account. No one, save yourself, knew about it. You agreed that you would regularly tweet from it, as your way of letting her know you were okay. That was the only reason, she didn’t blow the whistle to Tony right away.

Unlike Nao, you had faith in Pepper. You two weren’t the closest, but you had an unspoken respect and trust for one another. Pepper, despite every reason you gave her, did not behave in the way that any other woman in her shoes would have. You had broken her son’s heart by sleeping with his dad, her now ex-husband. Yet here she was, going through all of these hoops for you, just to make sure you didn’t ruin yourself. Of course you trusted her. 

There was one thing she was not truthful to you about however. When she told you the internship was all-expense paid, what she really meant was that she was covering all of it. Your school fees, apartment, food, and any and all luxury items, Pepper would be dishing out the money to take care of it all. While you felt you had no control over everything else, you drew the line there. Though you sort of resented her for her speediness to remove you from States, you refused to let her pay for your mistakes. She had already done so much. 

Your entire time living with Tony, he never let you pay for anything. This of course meant, you had money saved up from your previous employments. Enough to live comfortably until you could find a job. While Pepper was more understanding than her ex, she still insisted on covering your school fees as well as the first two months on your apartment so that you could focus on school before money became an issue. She even set you up with some extra spending money to get started. “To have a job, on top of an internship, as well as a full course-load, is too much for any student to bear.” She told you. “I will not set you up for failure, just to prove your smug ass Dean right.” 

Once you were settled in, and she felt confident enough to depart, Pepper left you and Germany, wishing you the best of luck. She was in a hurry to get back home before Tony could catch a whiff of where you were, and where she had been. 

So there you were. In Berlin. All alone, far from home, with no one but yourself to console. That was when the waterworks began. Between Nao’s place and the plane ride here, you didn’t have time to process your emotions. Your life, though not the most morally ideal, went to absolute shit in less than seventy-two hours. You didn’t care who was looking from the outside in calling you ungrateful. You got to experience the world, and your experiences with Tony alone should have satisfied you. 

Still, you didn’t ask for any of this. He was all you wanted. You would give up all the luxury in the world, if it meant just being with him. But alas, you did not have that choice, so you decided to cry. 

And cried you did. Your first three nights consisted of tears, and headaches. You barely even ate. It didn’t help that Tony’s face was plastered every where. He was famous, so what did you expect? “How the fuck am I supposed to get over him, when I can’t even escape him?” In fairness, you also didn’t make it easy on yourself. A t-shirt of his that you stole, covered your pillowcase. You were scared of the day it’s scent would leave. The new phone that Pepper purchased for you, had his wallpaper on the cover. Of course you later willed yourself to change it, but it took time. You even bought books that he begged you to read for months, just because they reminded you of him. Your entire time in Germany, you were a woman of your word to Nao. You tweeted about him constantly your first three nights, just  to feel like your old self again. It was small things that made you feel closer. But small things turned into big ones. You were practically torturing yourself. 

Where nights ended in crying, mornings began with half-hearted reassurements. “This is what’s good for me.” You would chant, to yourself in the mirror. “This is what’s good for Tony.” It was now the weekend, and come Monday you would be starting your internship. “The sooner I get this over with, the sooner I can go home.”

  ººººº

Starting your art internship sounded dreadful to you now. Before, you were more than excited as you planned it with Tony. Your eyes were starry when you fawned over how rich the art and culture was in France. Of course you would be excited, given that Tony had taken you to France on numerous occasions, as well as taught you some of the language. You were even comfortable enough to navigate the streets of Paris alone. That was more than you could say about Germany. 

When Monday came, and you left your apartment, you got lost almost immediately. Luckily to you, in Berlin more people spoke English than you thought. So your day was off to a bad start but you could still turn it around. That was your train of thought before it began to pour down raining. The cute, but simple little outfit that you had put together was now drenched. Not to mention your hair; tight coils retreated to your scalp, and makeup ran down your face. You had tried. You really did. You wanted the outside of your person, to deflect what you were feeling on the inside. Too bad the universe had other plans. 

You were still determined to complete your first day. So you continued on to the location that a kind stranger gave you. 

It sounded right, because soon you were standing in front of the soon-to-be art gallery that you would be interning at for the next 6 months. You were to shadow an art-curator, with the hopes of teaching it one day. Sure becoming an art professor wasn’t very fulfilling financially, but you loved art so you didn’t care. 

You walked into the magnificent glass structure, with high ceilings and tall windows. Your strides made wet squelching sound, as you stepped from the outside concrete pavement onto the wooden linoleum.

Immediately, a man who seemed to be directing others about the room, turned his attention to you. He almost dropped the clear clipboard he was holding, upon seeing the soaking wet brown girl before him. All he could think of was the damage to the floors you had probably caused. 

“Wie kann ich Dir helfen?” He asked you with a grimace painting his features.

If your confidence wasn’t shot before, it was now at a zero as you realized how stupid you must of looked. “I’m sorry I don’t speak German.” You apologized.

The man huffed as he switched languages. “I said, how can I help you?” Now you genuinely felt like an entitled American, in someone else’s country forcing them to accommodate you by speaking your native tongue. 

“I’m Y/N, and I am here for the Schmidt Internship.” You said lowly. You watched him bring his attention back to the clipboard in hand, flipping harshly through the paper. 

“You’re late. On your first day at that. How could you come in here like this?” His words were harsh, but he was right. You were late, and even if you weren’t your appearance would have sent off red flags in his head. 

You had to blink back the water that was forming in your eyes. This was something that you had become an expert at. “I apologize, but I had trouble finding my way here.”

He scoffed “So not only are you coming up with excuses already, but you’re telling me you haven’t even prepared yourself. How are you supposed to retain the necessary knowledge for this job?”

“Again, I’m sorry, but I can assure you that this won’t happen again. ”

“You’re right. So go home.” 

Your brows jumped to meet each other. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You clearly don’t have what it takes. My clients will eat you up and spit you out within seconds.” He looked you up and down before adding, “And if they don’t, I will. So go home.” He turned his back to you as if you were nothing, and began redirecting men on where to put certain paintings. Not sparing you a second glance.

Something told you that he was used to making people cry. You almost did, until you realized that you had been crying for the past week, and now you were just angry. 

“You can place that Delegado by the window.” You heard him say to two men. You walked up to them to interrupt their conversation.

“Actually place it as far away from the light as possible.” You ordered the men who were holding the piece.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” The curator asked. 

You could feel his scowl on your face so instead of spinning to address him, you furthered your explanation. “The choice of medium Delgado used is not compatible with the sun. It will certainly drain its vibrancy. But anyone who attended secondary school art would know that.” You sneered, side-eyeing him. Your insult did not fall on deaf ears. His scowl turned into an almost pained expression. You ignored it, and moved on. 

You walked around the room, as the curator silently, but obviously followed you. “I assume you intend to place a light fixture over this.” You asked him, looking over your shoulder. “If not, this is the painting you should place next to the window. It will not thrive in the shadows. The artist intended for light to cast on certain areas to reveal hidden figures.” You took your phone out to flash its light against the frame to prove your theory, and almost immediately new elements appeared in the work. 

You could almost hear the change in features on the curator’s face. Still you continued your dance around the room, explaining to him pieces of art that worked well with others, and ones that did not. 

Going up to your next piece, you inspected it closely. “When did you purchase this” You asked him.

“A few days ago. Why?” He questioned, his tone was now different, almost inviting you to say more. He was now curious about your every word. 

“Bankole, the artist this is inspired by has not sold a painting in years.” You informed him.

“I bought it from a secondhand distributor. So what’s your point?” 

“You were scammed. The original piece only has seven hooded men. A reoccurring theme in Bankole’s art. This painting only has six.”

“Well maybe Bankole miscounted.” He suggested, chuckling. It was like he was amused, and it was vastly different from his earlier cold demeanor. 

“It also has too many etchings along the border.” You continued. “And the signature is misspelled.”

He stayed silent for a minute. He was awestruck. His assistant who had been standing near him, looked up everything you said to fact check you. She whispered a “she passed, sir” in his ear, when she could validate your arguments. And that’s when you realized it was a test. 

Upon realizing the whole thing was a set up, you relaxed your bewildered eyebrows, and looked down at your feet to smile a smile that screamed ‘I’ve been tricked’. 

The curator, as if scared to take his eyes off of you leaned his head to the side to ask his assistant, “Could you please get Ms.?”

“L/N” You sheepishly smiled, bringing your eyes back up to meet his. 

“Yes, could you please get Ms. L/N something to dry off with, Hanna?” He asked the girl, returning a smile back. 

“Right away sir.” Hanna spoke, scampering away to search the building’s custodial closet. 

He offered his hand to you, and broke the silence. “I’m Finn. Finn Schmidt.”

You took his hand, and shook it gently. “Wait Schmidt? Does that mean you’re—”

“Yes, my family owns this gallery.” He replied as a matter of fact. 

You mouthed an inaudible ‘oh’, as you were now embarrassed about your secondary school comment. Thankfully Hanna was back now with a towel to distract you from your growing shame. Changing the subject you asked, “So is it a German thing to be rude and test your future interns?”

He laughed, eyes lingering on your neck as you dried your hair. “Well its a Schmidt thing to test future interns. As for the rude part, I’m sorry. I was just a bit upset about something from earlier.” He confessed. “I promise I would have called you back later to apologize.”

“It’s fine. I did show up late and track your floors with rainwater.” You glanced outside, noticing the sky was now as clear as day. Just my fucking luck, you thought. But at least the new found light gave you a chance to properly examine Finn. The events from earlier, blinded you from realizing how handsome he was. 

He was much taller than you. At least more than half a foot. Chestnut brown locks, thrown up into a messy bun, graced the top of his head. He had honey brown eyes upon first glance, but when the sunlight hit them, they were a brilliant amber. He looked to be close in age to you, but still more experienced; so maybe late 20’s early 30’s you concluded. He was built. Not too muscular, but far from skinny. His beard was immaculate. In fact it looked as if he took better care of it, than he did his hair. Both made him look majestic. He had skin of olive, and it was dewy and radiant; you just knew his skin-care routine was more rigorous than yours. When he spoke, it was gruff. His accent was thick, but he spoke English like he lived in a native-english speaking country for years. He was definitely a man who prided himself in his looks as well as his knowledge. 

“So tell me, is it an American thing to ogle at complete strangers.” He smirked at you. You immediately thanked God for blessing you with darker skin, for you felt your blood pool to the apples of your cheeks. 

“I’m sorry.” You apologized, embarrassed and suddenly intrigued by the ground.

“Don’t be. It’s definitely a Schmidt thing.” He informed you, raking his eyes down your figure. Is he flirting with me? You asked yourself. 

Now desperate for air, you took in a deep breath to overcome the fluster. “So, um. I’m sorry, just to make sure I’m not getting ahead of myself: your assistant said I passed?”

He cleared his throat, and began rapidly blinking away his daze before speaking. “Yes with flying colors.”

“Does this mean I still have the internship?”

“Yes. I’d be honored to have you. ”

You beamed a bright smile. “Great. Well I hope we enjoy working together.” You stretched your hand out again for him to shake. 

“As do I.” He said, grasping your outstretched limb, before bringing your hand to his lips. 

Oh boy. 

ººººº

It turns out, you two did enjoy working together. Finn, despite your first impression of him, was a major sweetheart, at least to you that is. You didn’t know if that reigned true in other aspects of his life, or if it was just because he wanted to sleep with you. Either way, you welcomed his charming nature.

He became your best friend whilst you were in Germany. He was proud of his country, and very eager to show you why. You were dragged from museum to museum soaking in beautiful art. Landmark to landmark, reveling in famous architecture. Restaurant to restaurant, engorging yourselves with famous German cuisines and desserts. He was elated to finally have someone to boast to about his culture. And you were happy to have someone take your mind off of Tony. Temporarily.

As months passed, you still found your mind drifting off as you wondered about him. You dreamed about him at least every other night. But you would still tell yourself,  He’s over me by now. He’s probably happy I’m gone. At least I didn’t ruin his life.

Finn could only do so much. You were close now, so you informed him of a man who had taken over your dreams. He didn’t know who your mystery man was, but he wanted to be him. He wanted to be the one who occupied your mind. He made it clear on numerous occasions too. Spouting to you German phrases that he taught you before hand, revealing his feelings. 

‘Ich steh’ auf dich’. I’m into you. ‘Ich bete dich an’, I adore you. The words were beautiful flowing from his lips. But you always feigned ignorance, acting like you forgot what they meant. He could scream his feelings to the sky in your mother tongue, and you would still say something along the lines of “Quit joking around.” Or “You’re so silly.”

You would be a liar if you said you hadn’t thought about Finn in that way. He was sexy, and more than willing to replace Tony. And Pepper, if she were there, as well as your friends and your better sense, would have begged for you to fuck him…but alas, you just couldn’t do it.

You two were currently planning the grand opening of his family’s second art gallery. It was tomorrow night, and it took all of five months, most of your internship to get the museum ready for the public. It would be a formal event, where renowned guests were invited to partake in a cultured but light-hearted social gathering. It was going to be grand, which meant Finn was bugging out. 

“Lydia, have Hanna approve the guest list for me. I need her to make sure, no strays show up.” He said to one of his staff members. He had a group of people following close beside him as he took long strides to his office. 

“Again?” She asked. 

“Yes! Again.” He shouted.

She rolled her eyes, before skittering off to find Hanna.

“Luka, have you checked with the caterers to make sure the hors d’oeuvres will arrive by 17:30?”

“Yes sir.” The boy squeaked. 

“Check again.” Finn ordered. 

“Right away sir.”

“Oliver—” Finn Started. 

“The wine has already arrived, sir.” Oliver interjected, feeling quite sure of himself. 

“So the Chambertin Grand Cru is here? Great!” Finn began smiling and relaxing a bit. 

Confusion took the place of certainty on Oliver’s face. “Actually sir, I thought you told me to get Richebourg Grand Cru.” 

“Fuck!” Finn yelled in his native tongue, about to tear a new hole in the smaller boy. That is before you stepped in. You were waiting for him by his door. 

“Your guests are coming in for the art Finn. Not the wine, nor the food.”

His expression softened when he heard your voice. “Our guests.” He corrected, smiling at you. “I feel you worked harder than me, so they are our guests.”

“Fine. Our guests do not care about the damn wine.” You smiled. 

He chuckled at your playful chide. “You know you keep me sane right? You’re my savior.” 

“I thought Jesus was your savior.”

“Well you’re a close second.” He smirked, as he let you enter the room before him. You both sat down in close seats, and ran down a list of things he needed to confirm for tomorrow nights events. 

As you two worked, he decided to start a separate conversation. “Have you decided on whether or not you’re coming yet.” His voice was hopeful.

You sighed, knowing you were about to shatter that hope. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. I think I’ll pass.”

“Why?” He cried, abandoning his previous tasks. 

“I have nothing to wear.” You informed him. “Besides I’m a bit beat. I should relax before my exams come up.”

“But, it’s just one night. And anything you put on will be amazing. It’s the girl in the dress that makes it beautiful.” As he said the last part, he placed a hand on your knee and caressed it.

You stood to your feet to avoid his lingering touches as well as ignore the look of disappointment on his face. “I can’t just show up in any thing. There are way too many important people coming. I would have to make a good impression, and I’m just not up for it.” 

Finn abruptly raised now hovering over you and turning your body to face him. “What is this really about?”

“What do you mean?” You asked looking at him through an inquisitive lens. 

“We both worked so hard on this. This gallery is practically your baby, don’t you want to see other people enjoy it?” The pads of his thumbs massaged your shoulders. The act was innocent, but to you it burned to have another man touch you in the way that only Tony should. 

You shrugged your shoulders to make his arms fall and took a stroll around his desk, placing space between you. “Of course I want to see her success, Finn.”

“Then what’s stopping you?” He asked, slowly meeting you on the other side, unsure about his actions now. 

You knew what was stopping you. Finn had to practically beg you to go out with him on regular days, and you would eventually do it to rid your mind of Tony; but this was different. Attending this event reminded you of the ones you, Tony, and Edward would participate in. 

While you were Edward’s plus one on paper, it was really Tony who you would move through a room with. He would introduce you to some of his friends in high places. You two would have riveting conversations about the world and art. By the end of it all, you would ditch Edward (which wasn’t hard, because he was usually the one to ditch you guys) to sip expensive ass champagne until you passed out the next day in some hotel room you had no memory of entering. This event screamed reminders of your past life. And your past love.

“I don’t know.” You lied. But Finn knew you were lying. He also knew what, or rather who, was stopping you.

He sighed, and gazed at you before speaking again. “Is this about your ex?”

You were curious as to why he asked about Tony when the conversation had nothing to do with him. “Why do you ask me that?”

“Because it always seems to be.” He came to stand directly before you, now more sure of himself. 

You could admit your tone of voice changed as you said your next line. “Well it’s not.”

“When are you gonna get over him?” Finn asked, ignoring your words as well as ignoring the defensive tone they were laced in. 

“I am over him.” He made you feel small, so you straightened your posture to appear more intimidating, a sharp scowl now decorating your face. 

“No you’re not. You’re still depressed about him.” He sounded a bit annoyed now. 

“I wouldn’t say I’m depressed…” You cooed, trailing off a bit with your thoughts. Am I depressed? And if I am, do I really wear it for the world to see?

Worry etched itself into your expression, which made Finn say, “You’re too young for this. And you’re too beautiful. You shouldn’t be worried about a guy who isn’t even here.” Finn stated. You thought that what he was saying wasn’t fair, because he didn’t even know the full story. “I can help you get over him.”

He made you blink rapidly at his words. “Woah Finn,” Finn continued his case. 

“Just let me take your mind off of him. I promise i’ll be worth it.” he was always forward, but never this forward. 

“Finn stop.” He was now closer to you, cornering you between himself and his wall. His office felt much smaller now. 

“I like you Y/N, and not just as a friend.” He was now just a breath away, so you threw your arms in between the two of you, only for him to lightly grip your wrists. 

“Finn—” You were cut off by his lips, as they stole a soft kiss from yours. You immediately broke the connection by looking down, brushing the area he just touched with your fingertips. Finn looked at you expectantly, face flushing as he realized what he just did. He dropped his hands from their positions on your wrists and stepped back.

“Y/N, I-I’m so, sorr—”

“I’m late for my other job now. I’ll see you Monday.” You hurried out, as you circled around him to leave the room before he could say another word. 

ººººº

Your entire shift at your neighborhood cafe, felt like a blur.  You chose to work at a cafe for similar reasons to the ones at home: the rustle and bustle of the world made you feel calm, and like your problems were small. But now all you could think about was Finn.

He was right, you were still hung up on Tony. In your defense, five months didn’t seem like enough time for you to move on from a relationship that shifted your entire being. But they did say, to get over one man, you should get under another one. And Finn, was a man that you would have been attracted to under normal circumstances. 

He was handsome. Articulate. Cultured. Kind. He was the type of man, who could move a room just by walking in it. But he wasn’t Tony. That fact alone was how you knew you were beat. If you could pass up an amazing man, for one you couldn’t even have, then you were crazy. 

He smelled of ginger, and he tasted like cinnamon for those fleeting moments that he held you. You thought to yourself that you could do worse. You weren’t supposed to be with Tony anyway, so what was the harm in being with a man who was begging for you to use him?

The harm was, that you weren’t that kind of a girl. And you didn’t wanna hurt him. 

I am making this harder than it needs to be. You thought to yourself, as you walked into your apartment building. Your decision to go to the gallery’s opening became a hell of a lot easier, when your doorman greeted you with a package. You hesitantly thanked him and took the elegant box, before walking up to your flat. 

Setting it down on your counter to rid it of its satin pink bow, you freed the top cover and unraveled the tissue paper. Underneath all of the wrapping was a sparkly rose gold material. You pulled it out to reveal a ball gown, that looked as if it was made specifically with a princess in mind. The puffy skirt of the gown had a large slit in it and it was made of a sheer, almost see-through fabric. Glitter ran throughout the entire dress, but where it was most prominent was the bodice. The straps were off the shoulder, and they connected to a deep plunge a few inches below the neckline. It was beautiful.

Your first thought was to anger. The dress looked like it cost him a fortune.  You felt obligated to thank him, but you were also mad that he spent money on you as a form of apology. You hated when people just gave you things. It instantly made you feel like a burden.

But then your second thought was one of guilt. Leaving him so quickly, must of made him feel terrible, and that fact helped you swallow your anger. He really liked you, and you could at least show up to the gallery to support him. After all, you were still friends. 

You just silently prayed you wouldn’t regret going. 

      ººººº

Cool air nipped at your bear arms and chest as you made your way through the night. The wind caused cold tears to fall from your eyes, and your fingers felt like icicles. You knew it would be cold tonight as winter transitioned into spring, but you didn’t anticipate it this much. You didn’t have a proper shawl to sit across your shoulders that matched your dress, so you sucked it up and power-walked to the gallery.  It definitely felt nice to step into the building’s warm and inviting embrace.You instantly felt your cheeks warm up as you stood in the middle of the entryway.

The event was in full swing by the time you arrived. You were instantly surrounded by laughter, and chatter, as rich people debated amongst themselves about the intent of certain pieces of art. Beautiful melodies filled the air, as classical music played softly in the background. The ambience was warm despite the cold night air peering through the high glass ceilings. You thought it was nice, how even though the building was so well lit, you could still make out the faint glow of stars above you. 

Being an observant person who could easily meld into the background, you thought the sight before you was beautiful, and you immediately felt regret grow smaller in the pit of your stomach. 

You searched the crowd, trying to seek out Finn and thank him for urging you to come, as well as for the dress. You found him at the top of a balcony, chatting up one of his guests. You swallowed your uneasiness as you made it up in your mind to confront his and your feelings. Maybe I could give him a try because he really is a nice guy. That was your train of thought as you made your way up to him. I could learn to love him. You thought. If it doesn’t work out, I still have home in just a month. 

As you got closer, and closer to him, you thought of Tony, and immediately froze in your tracks. You felt guilty for even thinking about someone else before you were over him. You were disappointed in yourself, for your readiness to use one man, in order to get over another one.

You were about to turn around and forget about the entire event, before Finn caught your gaze. He stopped his chat with the man in front of him and excused himself to walk over to you. 

You looked like a gapping fish out of water as he approached you. Finn was always so well put together. Seeing him in a tux, only made him appear more intimidating. He somehow made you, with your dress, naturally done makeup, and beautifully pinned up hair, feel small. Little did you know, he felt smaller.  

“Y/N” He started, almost at a loss for words. “You look beautiful.”

To save face you forced yourself to speak, opting for the playful banter he had come to love. “Why are you acting so surprised?”  You sheepishly smirked. 

“Well I didn’t think you were coming.” He beamed. He was relieved to know you weren’t still mad at him.

“I couldn’t just waste this.” You said referring to your dress, grabbing a fistful in each hand to lift it and emphasize your point. 

Finn bought his eyes over you, basking in your beauty. “You look darling in that. But I thought you said you didn’t have anything to wear.”

You furrowed your brows at his words, smile faltering. “I didn’t, until you—”

“Finn! Over here darling, I want you to meet someone.” His mother called to him in english, gesturing to a well-dressed attractive woman. 

“Okay.” He replied to her before bringing his attention back to you. “Stay right here. Don’t move I mean it.” He floated off, abandoning you and your confusion.

Why was he acting so oblivious? 

You felt moments pass as Finn worked himself around the room. You watched him as he drifted from person to person, seemingly forgetting about you. He was in his element, and you were happy to see him happy. 

Leaving him to do his own thing, you walked down the stairs deciding to occupy yourself by people watching. That was when your emotions began to overwhelm you again. You leaned against a wall, newfound glass of wine in hand, trying to drown out the noise around you. Everything seemed to remind you of Tony Stark. The rich men in their suits. The stimulating discussions. Even the drink between your fingers, reminded you of him. Now too encapsulated with your thoughts once again, you turned to the wall behind you, immersing yourself into the art. The sad girl in the painting, derided you, as you met her eyes. She was pretty, and like you she felt alone. At least we can be lonely together you thought, scoffing at the idea. 

“Why that frown, everyone in here knows you’re prettier than her.” Your heart sank, as you turned to the side meeting the face of the familiar voice. 

“Tony?” You exhaled, blinking rapidly as if your eyes were playing tricks on you.

“In the flesh.” He smirked down at you. You threw yourself into his open arms, as he wrapped himself around you. You felt him kiss the top of your head, then your temple, as you inhaled his scent; it had been such a long time since you had even done that. Your drink spilled on the floor behind you, and the look of shock you received from a nearby stranger made you feel deranged. It didn’t matter, how crazy you looked, Tony was here and that was all you could care about. 

Pulling back from his embrace, you felt your words form at the back of your throat unable to bring them out. “What are you doing here?” You managed to ask. 

“You know I could ask you the same. Berlin? Was all that French I taught you, for nothing?” He joked, holding you in place. 

You were becoming blurry-eyed. You terribly missed his wittiness. “How did you find me?” Though you were happy, you couldn’t help the tears that streamed down your face. 

Tony wiped them away with the pads of his thumb, “First. Dance with me.” He reached a hand between the two of you, willing you to take it. 

“This isn’t that kind of an event Tony.” You chuckled.

“Who cares? I need to hold you.” His words made you tear up again. You soon became a sobbing mess, and those around you shot him dirty looks for making you cry. 

“Princess.” Tony cooed, sending apologetic nods to random people as he tried to comfort you. “You’re making a scene.” 

You ignored him, and kept silently whimpering, gradually growing a bit louder, as your face contorted further into a frown. “You’ll ruin your makeup.” 

Still crying you began dry-heaving as you chocked between sobs. “Alles ist gut.” Tony assured strangers, informing them that all was well. 

“You know German?” You squeaked between sobs.

“When I found out you were in Germany, I learned a bit on the plane ride here.” He grabbed a napkin from a passing by waiter, as he told you this. 

“So you learned German for me?” You sobbed louder, causing more people to look over.

“Y/N, baby please stop crying.” Tony pleaded. “Please stop."

You sniffled and began wiping your eyes, smearing your mascara in the process. He used his napkin to wipe away the excess mess on your face. “Now can we please try this again?” He asked holding his hand out. You took it, and he lead you to the center of the room. 

Now the attention was as a result of the spectacle in front of them. First a girl practically pours her expensive wine on the ground. Then starts crying. And now she and her beaux are dancing in the middle of the gallery. How unhinged you must of looked in the eyes of a stranger. 

Tony couldn’t be more in love with you. He held you close, one hand clasped with yours, the other resting on your lower back as he gazed into your eyes, mesmerized by your existence. You two swayed back and forth, ignoring the judgmental stares and whispers. Eventually others gained the courage to join in, inspired by the silly Americans of the room. 

He broke the comfortable silence first. “I see you like the dress. You make it look beautiful.”

“You bought this for me?” You exclaimed smiling. It made sense now, how else would the measurements be so perfect?

“Of course I did. Who else would?” He asked with a single raised brow, his signature “you better tell me, or you’re in trouble” expression.

“Mmh, hmm, Mmh.” You mumbled shrugging your shoulders upwards. Of course that was a lie, but you would tell him later. 

He decided to address your lie later as well. He changed the subject for now. “So why Berlin? Why not London, or Italy? Italy was you second choice, you loved Italy!”  

You giggled at the amount of times he said Italy. He bathed in the sound. “Germany was the first place Pepper could arrange on such short notice. Besides, we thought you would never think of looking here.”

“I would search the ends of the universe for you.” He said, face and tone all of a sudden serious. You inspected him for a minute, heat rising to your cheeks, before you both cracked a smile. 

“You’re so fucking cheesy.” You laughed. 

“I thought you loved it when I act cheesy.” He expressed, mocking fake hurt. 

You smiled and kissed his chin, ignoring his dramatics, opting to be enveloped by the silence. You were calmed as he rocked you in his arms, pulling you as close as he could. His large warm hand on your exposed lower back felt like home. You two fit together like puzzle pieces, and you were happier now than you were the first time you kissed. Now you weren’t in secret. You were out in the open, as you experienced a new first in your relationship. 

You broke the silence this time, as you laid your head on his chest. “So how did you find me?”

“Tonysbitch99 Y/N? Come on, I’m a fucking genius, and I’m not exaggerating.  Your last tweet led me here”

Your head shot up so you could question him. “Wait. So you went out on a fucking whim?”

He laughed at your outburst. "Well actually a blue-haired girl encouraged me to check your twitter account. I found your hidden one on your old phone. That led me to your apartment.”

“Nao.” You said in a low menacing tone. You had some words for her as soon as you got back home. But when you thought of home, your mind wandered back to the obstacles in your way. Being so happy to see him, you forgot about Edward. “Tony” You sighed. “You can’t be here. Edward will find out. And you could lose everything you worked for. Your dreams have to mean something to you.”

“They do. You’re one of them Y/N.” He always had a way with words, and just as you were about to protest he cut you off. “I won’t go into details about it, but everything is fine. You can even contact both Edward and Pepper if you don’t believe me.” 

You believed him. The fact that he involved Pepper’s name encouraged you to. “Enough  about me though. You seem to have been keeping yourself busy.” He whispered against the shell of your ear.

“What do you mean?” You asked, flustered by his action. He suddenly, but slowly dipped you so that you could focus on where his line of sight was. Your eyes met Finn, who was busying himself with guests, as well as stealing glances at the two of you. As you focused on him, Tony peppered kisses along the heart of your exposed bosom. The gesture forced you to shoot up out of embarrassment. You knew he was marking his territory, but you immediately scolded him. 

“Who is he?” He asked you, ignoring your tiny hits and reprimands. Once you calmed down, you told him about Finn.  “He hasn’t taken his eyes off of us, or should I say you, since my being here.”

You averted your gaze from Tony, and he immediately knew you were hiding something from him. He pestered you, until you told him about Finn’s crush, as well as the shared kiss. By the end of it all, he was sending death glares his way.

“You should introduce us.” Tony suggested, gravitating towards Finn, before you held him taught. 

“Calm yourself.”

“What did you say his name was again? Finn?” He asked, but he already knew the answer to his own question. “Finn. Finn. Finn.” He repeats, as if the name felt like a bad aftertaste on his tongue. “You know what? I like it. No, I really do, it fits him, because he looks like a fucking fish.” He spat.

You grinned and asked, “You’re not jealous are you Tony?”

“And what would I have to be jealous of? Did you not hear me say fish?” He questioned. 

“He’s a sweetheart. Come on, let me introduce you.” You were about to take his hand to meet Finn, but were surprised to see that he was already making his way over to the two of you. 

“Y/N, who might this be?” Finn asked reaching out to shake his hand. He knew who Tony was, most people did, but this was Finn’s way of acting as if he himself was more important. 

“Tony Stark” Tony interjected, acknowledging the outreached hand, but blatantly refusing to shake it. 

  Finn dropped his hand, before speaking again, smile now twitching. “Nice to meet you Mr. Stark. I’m Finn Schmidt.”

“Well that’s rather unfortunate.” Tony mumbled, loud enough for the both of you to hear. 

“Tony!” You chided, slapping his arm. 

“What?!” Tony cried. “You heard him say his last name was Shit, right?”

“He said Schmidt.” He knew that. Tony ignored the glare on your face that demanded he apologize.

The sound of laughter rang in your ears, as you both snapped your necks towards it. Finn must of  thought he was funny. “Y/N, your grandfather is hilarious.” Finn said, now deadpanning at Tony. 

Tony looked down at his hands, then at your brown ones, then back up to question the handsome boy. “Do I look like her fuc—”

“You’re right Finn. My boyfriend is pretty funny.” You say, examining his face with a small smile. Your comment shocked both him and Tony. He was happy that you could finally call him that. 

“Now,” you continued. “I’m a bit tired from these past few weeks. I think I’m going to call it a night. Enjoy your evening Finn. I’ll see you Monday.” You smiled, as you tugged Tony away.

“Goodnight Fish Shit,” Tony smirked over his shoulder, as you dragged him towards the door.  

“It’s Finn Schmidt, you idiot.” You corrected, sending an apologetic nod back to your friend. 

“What did I say?”

ººººº

Pushing the door open to your apartment, you unstrapped your shoes to place them next to the door, urging Tony to do the same. You threw your keys in a dish, and turned to him to whisper your intentions to go and slip into something more comfortable. He stared at you with a small smile as his response, dark eyes searching yours, while his remained unreadable. The dim light from the kitchen, illuminated his face, making it look intimidatingly beautiful. Or was hauntingly the word?

You suddenly felt nervous, realizing that this was the first time in months since you had been alone together. Handing him back the coat he let you borrow for the walk here,  you cleared your throat, and averted your gaze before excusing yourself from the room. Tony relished in the fact that he had reverted you back to your first stage of innocence. 

Upon your exit, he took a slow stroll around the room. He was careful to take in all that he had missed. Curious of how much you had changed, and how much you stayed the same. 

Accents of your favorite color were spread throughout the room. You had an open kitchen, and the living room was right across from it. They were both tidied to perfection. You had sleek wooden floors, that looked like they had never been stepped on. Furniture, that looked like it had never been sat on. A stove, that looked like it had never been turned on. Your place was nice, but he could tell you were rarely home. 

The walk here, you told him of your job on top of your internship, and school.You didn’t complain about it. In fact, you appreciated the chaos, and constant busyness. But he hated that you worked like a dog just to make ends meet. There was now all this time he would have to make up for, by spoiling you. 

He bent over to examine the books on your shelves. Some were new. Some that he had suggested. But what he searched for were the ones you would spend your summers rereading, as if the words would leave the page; desperate to memorize every letter. 

He moved on, now curious about your smart TV. What new shows were you watching? Did you still love the ones he remembered to be your favorite, or did new ones take their place? 

He picked up the candle on your coffee table. The scent of honeysuckle assaulted his senses. It was much different from your usual vanilla. He sat it down to continue his journey to your kitchen. 

He raided your pantry, your cupboards, and your fridge to see if you had been taking care of yourself. The contents were scarce, and he had to remind himself to scold you later.

“Are you hungry?” You asked smiling, grasping the hallway’s entry frame. You were wearing an oversized ash gray shirt whose front was tucked into a pair of frilly pink shorts. Your previously pinned hair now fallen was framing your cheeks, as stray pieces were pushed behind your ears. You removed all of your ruined makeup, and the result left a sheen of dew on the surface of your skin. If he thought you looked surreal at the gallery, ethereal was the word he’d use now due to your natural glowing state. 

“Yes” He replied. But he was getting full off of your appearance alone. There was no need for useless human sustenance. The way you looked was enough. 

You came into full view, grabbing a glass from your cupboards to pour yourself some water. “Well I’m afraid you’re not gonna find anything here.” You took a sip, offering him some. “But it’s not too late. There are still restaurants open.”

He reached for the glass in your hand, but instead of taking it, he placed his hand over yours to make you feed him sips of water. He eyed you over the rim of the glass before setting it down to say, “I’m full now.”

You swallowed hard, walking to sit on a stool on the other side of the island. Tony fell backwards directly in front of you, letting the cabinets behind him catch him. He drank you in with his eyes, as you felt yourself shrinking under his scrutiny.

“What?” You questioned, shy from his gaze. He said nothing, and just watched you. 

After a moment of playing the staring game, you tried to break the silence again. You looked down at the shirt you were wearing to spark a conversation. “I’m sorry I stole your shirt. I needed something to remind me of you. I hope you didn’t miss it too much.”

“The only thing that I missed, was you.” He said after minutes of deafening silence. Is he mad?

Looking down out of guilt you told him, “Well I’m here now. Tell me how you’ve been.”

He felt like your question was a loaded one. Not once did he think about himself while you were gone. He was constantly thinking of you. I’ve been lost. He wanted to say. I’ve been hopeless. I felt helpless not knowing where you were. Not knowing if you were okay. So many things were on the tip of his tongue, but instead he settled for “Let’s just say, I’ve missed you.” 

“That’s not what I asked.” You were genuinely curious about how his life was without you. But Tony looked like he didn’t want to explore the subject further. 

“That’s how I feel.” He declared, drifting slowly towards you. 

You decided to continue talking in order to fill the awkwardness. “Well its obviously how I feel too, but I wanna know how you’ve been holding up.” You ignored his sudden closeness. “Could you at least tell me how every one is? You mentioned Nao had blue hair? It was pink when we met.” Tony stood silent by your side as you asked your questions. “How’s Samuel? And Pepper?”As you rambled on and on, he traveled behind your stool, placing his hands on the chairs bars. His scent began to envelope you, and thats when your rambles became incoherent. If you weren’t already nervous before, you definitely were now. 

He picked up on it, like he usually does, and asked  “Am I making you uncomfortable?” in a hushed tone. You felt his breath fan the back of your neck, goosebumps formed on the little parts that were exposed. Your thighs clenched together, as you were suddenly turned on by how he made you feel both small and secure at the same time. 

He grabbed your chin, lifting your neck upwards and to the side, just before he placed a soft kiss on your lips, the first kiss since your reunion. It was so soft, you felt that he was afraid you might break; or as if you were only a part to a vivid dream. Deepening his touch, he let the fingers that were lifting your chin,  trail down the line of your neck. Soft fingertips brushed against your skin, until they collectively found a loose position around your throat. He let his thumb explore your jaw, while his tongue explored your mouth. Soft lips quickly turned into rough ones, as they fought to release every frustration and emotion he felt for the past five months.

When he pulled away, he had the nerve to place a chaste kiss on your cheek, as if he hadn’t just tongue-fucked your face a moment ago. “Sorry.” He apologized, “I’ve been wanting to do that for a while now.” He then walked back to his position by the counter, as if nothing happened, turned to you and asked “So what was your question again?” Innocence and genuine curiosity etched his features, like the lust, from a moment ago, never existed. 

Quickly overcoming your fit of fluster, you hesitantly stood to your feet. Tony never took his almond brown eyes off of you, as you seductively sauntered over to him. You had an idea. It was one you rarely thought of. One you never acted on; but if your time in Germany taught you something, it was to go for what you wanted. 

Now standing directly in front of him, doe eyes boring into his, he shut them as you placed your hands against his chest, leaning in for a kiss. Much like his, it was soft. A feather like touch against his mouth. You barely pulled back to whisper, “follow me” against his lips. His eyes fluttered open just in time to see you retreating down the hall. 

It was now his turn to become flustered, as he felt himself growing hot. He gave himself a moment to cool down, before taking his time walking down the hallway. As he poked his head in every room, just before he came to the last one, he found you sitting comfortably on your bed, stripped down to nothing but your bra and panties. Your elbows were propped up holding your weight, and your leg was crossed against your other as you patiently waited for him to enter the room. Your head was tilted as a seductive smile played on your features. 

Tony returned the expression, and he was about to dive into you, until you raised your hand to halt his actions. “Take off your shirt.” You ordered.

“Excuse me?” He asked, eyebrows furrowing in amusement. 

“You heard me.” You dared. Though your tone was soft, he knew you meant business. He searched your eyes for a moment, not finding his usual hint of submissiveness. So he decided to humor you. He leisurely unbuttoned his cuffs, glancing up at you every now and then. Then he took his time loosening his bowtie, dragging it off of his collar. He went painfully slow as he unbuttoned his bib, leering in your direction as he did so. Making you wait is what would usually break your spirit, and it was his favorite game. But you had learned patience while in Germany, so tonight was your night. You uncrossed your legs and raised to your feet, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt to roughly pull him into a kiss. This one was more feverish than the one shared in your kitchen, and it caught him by surprise since he was usually the one to take control. 

You switched your standing positions with him so that you were now the one facing the bed. As you deepened your kiss, he got pushed further back, until his knees collided with the mattress. You stood between his legs surveying his cherry swollen lips, before you reconnected your mouthes.

You laced your fingers in his hair, breaking your kiss, to harshly tug his head upwards. The guttural groan that escaped his throat, left an ache between your legs, while liquid pooled to the center of your panties. 

With the newly exposed skin of his neck, you stuck your tongue out to lick a slow stripe from his adam’s apple to his jaw, eliciting a string of curses from Tony. You then placed wet kisses down from there to his abs, kneeling to face his crotch. 

The prominent bulge, made your eyes widen with anticipation, and mouth salivate from thirst. You fell to your knees, licking your lips, fingers now fumbling with the buckle of his belt. Tony grasped your chin, lifting it to meet your eyes. “Y/N, I don’t want you to think you have to do this.”

You smiled at him, assuring him that you wanted to, kissing his fingers before going back to your previous tasks. He tensed up when you placed your hand on his thigh, just as the other worked to release his cock. The veiny appendage sprung free, and its size still intimidated you as you struggled to fit it in your tiny hands. Still, you were determined to make him feel good. 

You wrapped your hand around it, holding his drunken gaze, before stroking him up and down. You placed chaste kisses along the base, until you reached his crown. When you swirled your tongue around his head, Tony’s dick bucked in your hands, and his large palm shot up to tangle in your hair, urging you to suck. You swatted his hands away, and fixed him with a stare, silently telling him you’d stop if he didn’t let you have this. When confident that he learned his place, you wrapped your lips around his tip, lowering yourself further down his shaft, twisting the parts you couldn’t fit (which was still a lot.) He was a moaning mess, when his dick hit the back of your throat. You bobbed your head up and down his length, mewling when you made him groan. The vibrations from your moans, sent jolts of electricity up his spine, and he struggled to contain himself. 

Gagging against him, you shot back gasping for air, only a string of spit connecting you. After six more motions like that, Tony shot three thick ropes of cum down your throat. The sound he let out as he came, made the area between your thighs slick.

He usually spewed words of encouragement when you gave him head. “Just like that” or “Suck daddy’s cock” filled your ears as you worked him through his orgasm. But to see him come completely undone, unable to form a sentence, let alone control the situation, had you feeling more than satisfied. His head was thrown back surveying the ceiling before he bought his attention back to you. His face was a soft shade of pink, and sweat covered his forehead; it worked like glue, as pieces of disheveled hair stuck to it. “Who taught you how to do that?” He asked between breaths. 

“Finn.” You joked, but as soon as you said it, Tony grabbed your arm to yank you to your feet. He grabbed the nape of your neck to pull you closer to his face. 

“I know you’re just kidding sweetheart, but I don’t find that funny.” He rasped in a low tone. The grip he had on your  neck caused you to whimper, but you didn’t mind the sting. It only riled you up. 

You stepped back from his embrace, to undo your bra, just for him to yank you back in once it was off. He began kissing between your sternum, dangerously close to the mounds of your breasts. You chuckled at the feeling of his facial hair tickling your skin, but then your giggles turned into moans as his beard created delicious burns across your surface. He reached his hands down to your waist ridding you of your panties. Once you stepped out of them, you pushed him backwards on the bed, to crawl over him placing both thighs on each side of his. 

He bit his bottom lip at the sight of you, eyes burning with desire, and hands trailing from your thighs to your waist. You grabbed his dick, brushing it against your lips, before slowly guiding it to your entrance. As you sunk down on him, he sucked in air harshly, while you yourself let out a gasp of pain. 

“You still fit like a glove, baby.” He moaned out, glowered at you through hooded eyes. His hands tightened their grips around your waist to help you ease yourself onto him. 

A pained gasp erupted through your chest; the farther you sunk down on him, the further you stretched out. Pleasure began to burn in your loins when you met his end. You threw your head back and planted your palms against his chest,  rocking and grinding on his cock at a painfully slow pace. Your clit grazed his base as you did so, encouraging you to pick up your speed. His hands that were previously on your waist, crept up your front to fondle your breasts. You grabbed his wrists to help lift yourself up and down his shaft. 

The faster you bucked against him, the closer you came to meet your edge. He found his words of encouragement, when he heard your lusty pants of pleasure. “Such a pretty girl.” He praised. “Look at you go.” He whispered. He watched sweat form against your cupids bow, and your expression contort further into one of pleasure.

Your pace began to falter which is when he placed an arm around your back to sit the two of you up. Using the edge of the bed, he met your hips with his own, fucking into you at a new angle. His pace was faster, and more accurate than your own, which meant with each thrust he his your g-spot head on. His grunts and your pants echoed off of the walls as he sent you barreling towards your orgasm. You shut your eyes, letting the ecstasy hit, as you panted his name, over and over again. 

Letting the pleasure wash over you, you came to a complete stop, your moans sending vibrations through Tony’s chest. He didn’t stop though, his thrusts were relentless, as he tried his hardest to bury into you. “Keep going.” He ordered you. 

“I can’t daddy.” You whimpered, already fucked out, when you barely even started. 

“Yes you can.” He simply said, forcing you to sit up straight. You straddled his lap, met his eyes, and placed your hands on his shoulders to steady yourself, trying to will yourself up and down, but your hips just wouldn’t let you. By this time, he stopped completely as well, to catch his breath. 

You laid your head in the crook of his neck, defeated. “I’m sorry.” You exhaled into his skin. 

He lifted your head to cup your chin. When his eyes met yours, he pecked your lips before saying, “It’s okay princess. You did so well…but now it’s daddy’s turn.”

With that, he picked you up and wrapped your legs around him to place you at the top of the bed. He got rid of the rest of his clothes before he crawled back into bed, sinking into you again. You both let out groans at the feeling of his fullness.

Tony threw nice and slow out the window, and immediately began drilling into you. Your moans turned into deafening screams as his hips bruised your pelvis. He pried your legs open, placing quick kisses along your neck as he did so, knowing it would drive you up the wall as well as comfort you. He bit and sucked harshly along your collar bone, sending your mind into a blissful haze. Your hands shot up to his back, clawing at the flesh. You left blood in your wake, as you raked your hands down the skin. He let out a growl at the feeling, thrusting harder into you as a result. 

Your second orgasm arrived quicker than your first, but the feeling was more intense. He left you writhing, and shaking on him, as ripples of pleasure coursed through your body. Giving you a minute to collect yourself he flipped you over, before saying, “I’m not done with you yet, princess.” 

A look of alarm spread on your features, when you looked behind you to see him lining himself up yet again. “Tony I don’t think I can cum again.” You whimpered. 

“Awe, I thought you were a big girl.” He teased, smirking as revenge for earlier. While he loved the way you look on top, it obviously hurt his dominating spirit when you took his control. He leaned down, grabbing the side of your face to better access your ear. You felt his hot breath fan the side of your cheek as he whispered, “You’re gonna take all of me, until I fill you up with my cum.” Then he let you go, causing you to fall forward. 

You were so turned on it didn’t make sense. You just had three orgasms rip through you, yet your pussy was begging for more. 

He slammed into you for a final time, this position trumping them all. He gripped your hips, locking in on you, giving you no chance of escape. That didn’t mean you wouldn’t try. You climbed to the top of the bed, trying to put a bit of space between yourself and Tony’s strokes, but he just pulled you back in, fucking you harder than before. 

Tears welled up in your eyes. The intensity was becoming entirely too much. Your nipples brushed your bedsheets the harder he fucked you into them. His balls slapped against your clit, every time he met your hips. And his grunts of pleasure from using you, sent you toppling over the edge for a third time. The stimulation sending you into a convulsing fit. You squirted against him, covering his member with your sticky wet cream. Luckily for you, he followed shortly after, coating your walls with his thick white seed. 

When you collapsed, he rolled to the other side of you, both of you breathing heavier than before.  When he caught his breath, you turned over to drape your naked body onto his. 

“Was I too rough” He asked, suddenly feeling like he went overboard.

“Absolutely not.” You giggled. “Please do that to me all the time.”

He smiled in response burying his nose in your hair. The smell of coconut immediately comforting him. “I love you Y/N.” He cooed.

You lifted your head from his chest to kiss him sweetly. “I love you too, Tony.” That was the last thing you both said, before drifting off into a peaceful slumber. 

Whether your relationship lasted a lifetime, or ended in a year, in this moment you were happy. Happy that you no longer had to hide from the world. Happy that he was finally in your arms again. Happy to want someone, who wanted you even more. 

Happy to exist at the same time as him. 

A/N: Please do not repost my work as your own. Comments, likes, and reblogs are encouraged. I love you all, and really hope you enjoyed this! Thank you for reading :)

[loyalflutist]

I’m Yours (F!Byleth x Edelgard) *R-18+

Challenge: Edeleth Twitter Week (09/29/2019 - 10/05/2019) Day 6: I’m Yours

A/N: I was busy on 10/04 the entire day, so the fictions are starting to be backed up by a day or two. Also, since I’m not sure why Tumblr is hiding my lemons... (I wrote one for Dorothea and there was an older one with Edeleth that somehow disappeared from the search results...) Hence, I’ll begin to tag them as “LEMON THE LEMONADE” rather than the usual tag. 

Also, beware of minor implications of nonconsensual activity and massive spoilers about Byleth’s origin and the following characters: Sothis, Rhea, Seteth, Flayn, Jeralt. 

---

People sometimes think the world revolves around them. A singular entity in a vast space that shines the brightest. It was their life, and it was their life alone. No one has any control over it. Not their family. Not their friends. Not their enemies. No one. Absolutely no one. They were who they were. No one can define their existence.

Yet fate is sometimes cruel. That singular entity— that person, can be manipulated and placed under a hold from their oppressors. Brutal methods were enforced to brainwash the individual. Terrorize them. Drag them down with metallic chains fit for wild beasts. Mouths muffled by hands tainted with their very own blood. Blindfolds concealing the truth from them. False beliefs instilled into them. Obedience a necessity to survive the next day. And when a savior appears, they are taken away just as quickly as they appear. Oh, how terrifying it must be to open up to their significant other! Everything can go south so quickly… as for Byleth Eisner.

‘ I don’t want to be used. ‘

A shudder ran down her spine amidst her violent trembles. The teal-haired can be spotted in her private quarter, seated on her royal mattress in her loungewear. Legs pulled close to her chest, Byleth’s fingers tangled with her locks, her nails digging into the sensitive scalp. The weak heart that finally came back to life thumped heavily upon her chest; its pounding reaching her eardrums. These symptoms were becoming more and more frequent as the days crawled by… She gritted her teeth and felt her respiration hastened.

‘ I’m scared. ‘

How out of character, one may ask! She stands strong in adversary with features relating her to the infamous nickname, “Ashen Demon.” She commands the armies and battalions with ease. She commends those with their valiant efforts. She becomes a sly fox when teasing her alumni. She pridefully married an emperor of the Adrestian Empire. Hark, is this the Byleth everyone has come to respect and love?

The aftermath of the war was over, but the physical and emotional scars remain. Upon learning the truth about her origin from Rhea, Seteth, Flayn, and Jeralt, she wanted nothing more than to crawl under a hole and stay put. A rush of emotions that she had been bottling up over the years was becoming to rear its head from the corner— That wasn’t right… It came crashing into her fragile mental state like a tsunami. War had kept her emotions in check, but now that the main conflict was finally over with the staggering defeat of Rhea, nothing was keeping them back. Accompanied by poor coping mechanisms, it was inevitable PTSD would terrorize the ex-mercenary every night.

“I’m sorry to leave you behind like this, Byleth...”

No…

“We’re like family!”

No…!

“It is my duty to protect you.”

No!

“Mother, you have returned.”

“NO!!!”

“Byleth?!”

“?!”

She instinctively lashed out to the speaker with her hand. It stopped mid-air by a powerful grip. Dread overwhelmed the older woman as she tugged away from its captor. A couple of attempts failed, their hold was overpowering. Fear clenched her throat and choked her as whimpers trickled out. Why can’t she get away?! Through her blurred vision in the dark room, she began to cry; tears flowed down her cheeks like a waterfall.

The figure holding her was none other than Rhea. She had that holy smile, that holy aura, and that holy title glued to her physical existence. Yet the maiden stared directly into her shivering soul. Those same loving eyes that she once possessed similarities to. The one that she could easily call her “daughter.” Byleth quivered as she used her other hand to weakly push away from the female.

“Don’t call me Mother!”

“BYLETH!”

Rhea instantly disappeared in a blink of an eye. At that same moment, warmth immediately enveloped her entire body and blackened her sight. It was like a protective bubble… a blanket that someone had draped over her physical and spiritual body. Scarlet carnation’s aroma fluttered to her nose from the person’s bosoms. Their arms tightened its hold on the professor as said-person whispered,

“Byleth, it’s me.”

Now it wasn’t the voice of Rhea that vibrated her eardrums. It was the voice of her wife; Edelgard von Hresvelg had pulled her into a firm embrace.

Acknowledging her presence froze Byleth in place. She tried to peel away from her chest only to find it a futile try, the emperor resting a hand on the back of her head. The professor deeply inhaled her scent. Then, she exhaled her shaky hot breaths into Edelgard. This was embarrassing. Her meltdowns were meant for private eyes only, and those private eyes belong to herself. The fact that her wife just witnessed her disastrous distress might color her in a different light. She is her professor, she is older than her, and she has more experience in life than the white-haired. She wasn’t supposed to act this way.

“Byleth…”

“…”

Silence ensued afterward. Not a peep came out of Byleth’s mouth. The noble softly exhaled and pressed her lips upon her wife’s head. Fingers eventually ran through the teal hair, her nails gently scratching Byleth’s scalp. Small bursts of euphoria washed over her scrambled mind from Edelgard’s heavenly motions; drowsiness nearly making its way forward. Byleth adjusted the position of her head as a melancholic tune filled the quiet atmosphere.

“The footsteps of the lost child cease to be heard

Replaced only by that song of prayer

The song soon becomes that burning lamp

Guiding on that wandering traveler…”

It was rare to hear Edelgard sing. Whenever she participated in the fine arts, she would never dare express her interest with them to the public. Not even to her own wife out of embarrassment. However, tonight was an exception. The sorrow that dripped from the lyrics, yet there was a sense of consolation from those words showered to the listener.

Footsteps from the lost child…

That would be Edelgard.

Replaced only by a song of prayer…

That would be Edelgard.

The song that soon becomes a burning lamp…

That would be Edelgard.

Guiding on the wandering traveler…

That would be Byleth.

The two shifted their posture so Edelgard would easily hug Byleth on the bed. They laid down with Byleth holding onto her wife for dear life. Their legs tangled and a blanket providing additional warmth to the solemn night. Peering through the windows was the moonlight basking their resting figures. Despite the height difference, it appears Edelgard was the tall one in the relationship at this moment. She continued to scratch her wife’s head as she sang.

“If you feel afraid, just shout it all out loud

And you will know that I am right by your side

Holding you close with this trembling body of mine

To let you know that you are not alone

It’s alright if we can’t smile like before

For one day we will reach that place for you and me, that place… for you… and me.”

“…you should sing more often,” Byleth mumbled into her lover’s chest. She nuzzled into Edelgard and added, “But I think you should sing something happier.”

“Happier? You must be feeling better if you’re able to suggest something to me.”

“…”

Edelgard had to stifle her chuckle when the older woman reburied her face into her bosoms.

Oh, how the role has been reversed. She remembered the nightmares that had plagued her when she was a student. Numerous visions and hallucinations of her deceased siblings and classmates came to visit her from their grave. Their cold hands pulled her into the darkest abyss. She eventually finds herself strapped onto the wooden chair, the scalpels and needles jabbed into her exposed flesh from multiple non-consensual surgeries. Flaming aches throbbed from her hidden scars. They were unbearable to sleep through. It was always a surprise to Edelgard whenever she was able to function like a fully conscious person during her time as a student and as an emperor. Perhaps it was due to Byleth’s presence.

Byleth had always showered her with more love than she had expected. She would always sneak away from her own dormitory to sleep with her girlfriend. This was not merely an act of romanticism. This was an act to retain Edelgard’s sanity. This was furthered emphasized when Byleth went missing for five years. Nightmares that were shooed away had returned to haunt her. Lysithea and Caspar were unable to kick them to the curb despite their best efforts. Not even Hubert was able to quell those internal demons. She needed Byleth so badly. Byleth is her anchor. Without an anchor, the ship would float mindlessly from its path.

The emperor kissed the top of her head again. Now it was her turn to care for Byleth.

“Can you tell me… how long you’ve been having these breakdowns?”

“…”

“Are you scared of telling me?”

A hesitant nod. Then, Byleth rose until their face was on an equal level. The moonlight shone over their features, and the professor’s were mixed with fear and shame. Edelgard instantly brought her hand up to cup one side of her face. Her thumb rubbed among the cheekbone as she said,

“Don’t be afraid. Whatever you tell me, I won’t judge you.”

“…promise?”

“I promise.”

She deeply breathed.

“I’ve had them since the war ended. It first started when I was in the infirmary, recovering from my wounds.” Byleth’s lips firmed into a thin line. “I… I remember the way they looked at me.”

“They?”

“Lady Rhea… Flayn… and Seteth.”

Those names… How long has it been since Edelgard last heard of them? Though Flayn and Seteth had escaped from the war, Rhea was long gone. Still, those three played an important part in Byleth’s life. She knew that for sure. Their importance wasn’t subtle anymore the moment Byleth had merged with Sothis in order to combat their adversities. All three of those individuals began to bow down to the professor as if she were a holy being. Their words were articulated with precision in hopes of proving their devotion to her. It was as if Byleth Eisner was the goddess; her humanity long gone after the fusion. Edelgard always found it baffling. Byleth is Byleth. There is nothing different about her, save it for her insane strength growth. Just what made them so keen with her girlfriend?

“They used me.”

Indeed, they did. That was for certain. Sweet nectar stained their statement the moment Jeralt and Byleth stepped foot into Garreg Mach. Soldiers from the monastery were oblivious and blind to the manipulative threads that dangled overhead. Everyone was dancing to the beat of the Church and Those Who Slither in the Dark. The worst one of them all had to be Byleth, an outsider with little knowledge of politics, who was forced to join the mass. Not even Jeralt could save his daughter from their hands.

“I’ve killed so many innocent lives…”

But that was not her fault. She was simply following orders from Rhea during their time at the monastery. The same fault could lie upon her students too. They were the ones who delivered the final blow to every mortal foe that stand against the Church of Seiros. Villagers from various parts of Fodlan begged for forgiveness as Byleth slaughtered every one of them. Their crimes? Abstaining in the religious teachings of the Goddess Seiros. Regret gnawed at the ex-mercenary each time she received praised from Rhea and Seteth.

“Lady Rhea told me I’m her Mother…!” Byleth curled her fingers inward, unintentionally digging her nails into Edelgard’s back. The young lord bit back a yelp as her wife blubbered, “Can you believe that? I’m her Mother! She told me it was destiny— It was my fate that she be my daughter!”

She began to shed another round of tears and bit the bottom of her lip. Memories began to seep into her mind once more as she confessed her terrors. A child of a mother born of the progenitor god’s Crest Stone and a father who carried Rhea’s blood… She was literally related to Rhea, Seteth, and Flayn. She tried to reject the notion. She objected against Rhea of the ridiculous blood connection they had. She fought against the idea that Rhea is her daughter.

Obsession was something Rhea had to cope with her mourning. The lingering desire for a love Rhea desperately seeks for after the death of her mother extended out towards Byleth. Wet sensation overwhelmed her body, the revolting shudders that pulsed throughout her figure, the fingers that dared made her sing broken melodies unfit for the apparent goddess squeezed nausea into Byleth. It was all in the name of forcing the projected image and mentality into her. It was all there to say that Byleth was hers.

“She did so many things to me, I—I don’t know anymore!”

Disgusting.

“She told me I was hers! I was hers alone!”

Absolutely revolting.

“Byleth—”

“El,” Byleth sharply inhaled and eased her bruising hold. The abrupt pacification was alarming. Though her tears were now long gone, her intonation was grave. “I don’t want to be used by her. I’m not her Mother… and I don’t want to be used by anybody anymore… I’m scared of losing myself.”

“Rhea is long gone.” Edelgard kissed her weeping wife’s forehead. “No one will use you ever again. If anyone does, I’ll cut them out before they can do anything to you.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

From Edelgard’s perspective, it was heartbreaking to hear all of this from her professor. She had known about it. She didn’t know the extent of the details, but she knew these experiences were bad. What she did not gauge was how BAD Byleth had it during her time at the monastery. The façade was well-kempt and hid her inner turmoil well. Whenever the topic was brought up, Byleth would brush it aside with an “another time” excuse. When they did have the scarce time to become lethargic, Edelgard would always forget or hold back on the matter, the fear of ruining the positive energy that surrounds their dates.

It was her fault for having it reach to this level. Everyone has the possibility of hiding something behind their smiles. It just so happens that Byleth was one of them. If only she had noticed it earlier… If only she had suspected it sooner… All these times they spent together, Byleth was afraid to succumb to the lowest point of her emotional health before her wife. Edelgard may have recovered and rightfully moved on from her past after a year from the war… but that was not the same for Byleth. Edelgard lowered her hands to her sides.

“I’m sorry it got so bad for you, my teacher… I won’t ever let it happen again.”

“…it’s not your fault.”

“But it is.”

The blanket began to move in place as the Adrestian Empire’s emperor shifted her position. She eventually sat upright and straddled the older female; both of her hands pressed upon Byleth’s abdomen. From all the times they’ve spent together, Byleth knew where this was going. This kicked up the temperature within her head and caused her heart to beat faster— and for a different reason too.

“Please, let me make it up to you.”

“You… don’t have to.”

“I do. The fact that the archbishop dares call you hers infuriates— doesn’t sit right with me. I want you to be mine, and I want to be yours. Besides…” she cupped her chin and hummed. “I heard that sex is a good way to increase one’s mood.”

“?!”

So, it really was going down that route. It had been some time since they’ve last conducted this passionate activity. After all, they were both important individuals leading the united Fodlan and the Adrestian Empire. One acts as a war hero, and one acts as an emperor. Both always ran about their businesses. Various occasions forced them apart from each other. Whenever they had time to spend, they were either too tired or weren’t in the mood. They might as well diagnose themselves with TBD, also known as the “Too Busy Disorder”!

Edelgard blinked a couple of times when Byleth appears thunderstruck.

“…why are you giving me that bizarre look?”

“I’m confused. Who told you that?”

“Dorothea.”

“…”

“Byleth?”

“…”

“…”

“…”

“…I’m going to kill Dorothea when she returns from Brigid.”

“Please don’t.”

Imaginary fumes puffed out of the noble’s head as beads of sweat flew out of the professor. It was followed up with chuckles and giggles from the pair. The heavy atmosphere that hung over their shoulders began to lighten up. That was the first step towards recovery. Postures still the same, Byleth reached up to pat her wife’s arm. Red discoloration continued to thrive on her cheeks as she murmured,

“I’m yours.”

It may have been soft, but low and urgent. Edelgard felt her core tightened from the intonation. She leaned down and kissed her spouse’s lips. It was brief and simple; an act of consensual agreement for the upcoming event.

“Very well. I’ll make sure to chase your fears away.”

The white-haired fumbled to strip Byleth’s dark shirt. It was a slow and excruciating process as the tactician would lift her upper body every now and then to rid of the attire. Shirt tossed to the side, Byleth urged Edelgard to do the same.

“It would be unfair if it’s just me.”

“Are you sure you aren’t saying that just to see me naked?”

“There’s… that too.”

How bold of Byleth! Then again, wasn’t she always this bold? She had always teased her students of silly remarks. When it came to Edelgard, those teasing were more in line of flirting and outright full of suggestive innuendos.

No— it might have been more so with her underlying desire to indulge in her beautiful wife’s figure. Scars and sutures did not matter to Byleth. She loved Edelgard no matter what she looks like; her love for the lord transcends beyond physical affections and wants. Edelgard heeded to her words and took off her tanktop. It was thrown to the floor without a second thought.

Now, the two bore themselves half-naked to each other. As they were wearing their sleeping attires, there was one less hassle with regards to their bras.

“Breathtaking…” Edelgard commented, her hands sliding up to Byleth’s peaks. “I will never understand how I can make mine as big as yours.”

“Don’t say that. Yours has a charm of its own.”

“Maybe if I drink more milk…”

“El.”

Byleth pulled the young woman down with a single tug on her arms. Their lips crashed together. The way they kissed contrasted greatly from their previous one. Their tongues danced with one another as Byleth held the back of Edelgard’s head. Edelgard whimpered into her mouth the instant Byleth began to sweetly suck on her tongue.

“Mmm…”

In retaliation, when they parted for oxygen, Edelgard leaned forward to litter suckles and kisses onto the woman’s neck. She pushed her hips into Byleth, their neither region softly pulsating from the friction. A quiet groan slipped out of her wife’s mouth. That tickled Edelgard’s raw instincts as she retracted from the abdomen. Then, she pressed against it again. Not too gentle to be considered an annoyance, but not too harsh to elicit a full-blown euphoric trip. Just enough to justify the occasional moans from the older woman. The back and forth motion continued as Edelgard tenderly sucked and nibbled on Byleth’s smooth neck.

“Hah— Y-You’re… good at this as always— Hah…”

She closed her eyes and basked herself in the feeling of Edelgard’s hot mouth. To gain further access, Edelgard pressed her thumbs unto Byleth’s jaw, lifting it up so she could continue to explore the new premise. Byleth shivered from her profound action. The grinding against their private regions wasn’t helping either. She would softly gasp whenever pressure was applied to the soft nub. That turned on Edelgard and encouraged the continuation of her ministrations.

“I’ve learned it— Nngh… from the best teacher.”

“And w-who… who would that be?”

She concluded the hickey spree with one last smooch and raised her head. Sweat began to formulate on their forehead from the ensuing assault as Edelgard smiled. Though she did not offer an answer in return, the teasing question had a predictable response. They knew all too well who it was. In lieu of the lack of verbiage, Edelgard slowed her hips. Byleth had to resist the whine that nearly slipped from her throat.

The white-haired could tell she was frustrated. This was mildly amusing for the noble. How the mighty hero of Fodlan yearns for touches to satisfy her sexual hunger! And Edelgard would be the only person to ever deliver the salivating content to her front door. They exchanged another fleeting kiss, though more so to ease the impatient teacher.

“You’re so cute.”

Their roles were completely reversed in this case. Normally, those were the words whispered into the alumni’s ears while the professor’s fingers were buried deep into Edelgard’s flower. They would thrust in and out of the moist region. Heartful cries were proclaimed to the whole world as the bed creaked and rocked. Tonight, it was different; it was Edegard’s turn to make her wife tremble under her magical spells.

Edelgard proceeded to straighten her back and conduct adjustments to her straddling. Both her hands were kept busy by roaming Byleth’s bare figure. Pleasure zipped like electrical currents through the teal-haired thanks to the sensitive touches of her wife’s fingertips. They brushed, smoothed, and tapped on the elongated scars. Compared to Edelgard, they were not as numerous. Yet they were more haphazard and susceptible to touch.

She traced Byleth’s side.

This blotched scar came from a bandit’s brass knuckles. It derived from protecting Bernadetta. His vicious fist dug so hard into the ex-mercenary’s side, it managed to shatter a small portion of her ribcage. Crimson substances leaked from the corner of her mouth as Dedue and Felix avenged their fallen instructor. A miracle must have been in place to survive the aftermath. Had it not been for Linhardt’s and Marianne’s healing specialties, she would have been long gone.

She traced Byleth’s stomach.

This horizontal scar came from Dimitri. His dagger jammed into the teacher’s already-bruised tissue, breaking through the epidermis and slamming the hilt against it. Tears streamed down his face as he tore through her muscles. Blood splattered among the dirt road with a single flick of his wrist. Hubert and Ferdinand had tag-teamed to exterminate the dangerous noble. This time, Lysithea and Mercedes used plenty of white magic to keep their professor from walking over to the afterlife.

She traced Byleth’s chest.

This burnt scar came from Rhea. It was during the first revolt against the Church of Seiros at Garreg Mach. The archbishop conducted electricity through her open palm. Its incredible voltage charge nearly destroyed the Crest of Flames that kept the tactician conscious after stillbirth. Edelgard and Sylvain went in a frenzied state when the archbishop knocked Byleth into the abyss with another strike of her potent spell. Sothis was likely the one who assisted in the healing process during the five-year coma Byleth succumbed to. Without the female, Byleth would have never woken up from the rubble.

Each of these scars told terrifying tales. Close encounters with deaths were all too common for the students and teachers at the monastery, and their odds increased drastically after the war’s initiation. Edelgard’s scars mostly consist of her surgical implantations, but none ever met drastic battle scars like Byleth; the most she ever had were nicks and small lacerations from arrows and lances. (The army would never let harm fall upon their emperor!) She shook her head and settled her hands onto Byleth’s breasts.

Edelgard’s thumbs glossed over the brown nub, her fingers started to work on the mounds. A gentle squeeze emitted a burst of air from Byleth. She gazed downward and saw the woman furiously blushing from the said-action. The professor raised an arm up to conceal her lower facial features, her navy hues silently staring at her wife. Another squeeze caused a muffle this time. Then, she massaged the pair at a consistent pace. Every now and then, she would pinch the nipples between her thumb and index finger. A pinch would elicit a stronger reaction from the 26-year-old.

“Nngh— Y-You’re getting rough— Hah!”

“You think that’s rough?”

That remark was eventually joined by the returning gyrate of Edelgard’s hips. Byleth’s arm retracted as an uncontrollable moan erupted. A combination of the two activities were driving her insane!

“Hah..! Can you— Can you let me— Haah! Let me take off my pant! P-Please!”

Edelgard nearly laughed. Now her professor was begging for more? This never gets old. She adheres to her request and removed her hands. Another pause took place as they transitioned to the next phase. The blanket over her shoulders threatened to slip off as she yanked on their casual pants. After pulling it off, she tossed it carelessly aside like the other attires. Now it was time to move onto the main course. Edelgard’s predatory eyes darkened. She can’t wait to get her mouth all over Byleth and drive her to the edge of the cliff.

Previous sessions normally had Byleth lead the intercourse. This time, Edelgard took control. It had been so long since she acted as a ruler in their sex life. Another kiss was in a tall order for her lover. Hot bated breaths puffed at their faces upon departure. Edelgard flushed her body with Byleth, the blanket shifted to move alongside with the royal, and planted kisses over every inch of her wife’s alluring body.

“Hah…”

She licked the brown nub.

“Hah—!”

She swirled her tongue around the nub.

“Ha—AAH!”

She bit the nub.

“NNGH—AH!”

She used her teeth to rub the nub.

Byleth’s outcries were escalating in volume. It would be to no one’s surprise if they would earn a few dubious and flustered expression from fellow allies and soldiers. (The worst one of them all would be Hubert. He would hunt after Byleth and skewer her if he could!) But she didn’t care, and she’s certain her wife didn’t care either. Her licks, bites, and roaming hands continued almost as if she were making up the days they hadn’t showered in love. She would occasionally kiss as if to replace the traumatic events with their blissful memories. All in the name of making Byleth forget about those individuals… even if it is a temporary solution.

Edelgard lifted her mouth from Byleth’s breast.

“I’m going to move down,” she said. “Can I?”

“Why are you asking me that?” came a hoarse whisper. “You already know the answer.”

“Just making sure, my teacher. Can’t forget about consent, can we?”

The teal-haired would have playfully knocked on the female’s shoulder had they not been in the middle of having sex. Edelgard was always the careful one in the relationship.

“A-Ah…”

It felt good. Way too good. Byleth’s consciousness was starting to float into Cloud Nine as Edelgard made her way slowly down the writhing body. Pauses were made to plant fluttering kisses and strokes on the curves of Byleth’s belly, her hipbones, and silken skin on the inside of her thighs. Whatever negativity that strangled the professor had dissipated completely. Her body was engulfed in a fiery need of quenching as her walls were slick with arousal. Now all she could focus on was the pleasure.

“AH?!”

She unconsciously pressed her hips into Edelgard’s first stroke of her tongue. Byleth knew Edelgard was eventually going to descend to her neither region, but it had been so long since she had someone relieve her of the pent-up tension through oral means.

“Nngh—!”

God, it felt so GOOD. The strokes from her tongue were slow and steady, yet it managed to drag out the best sensation. Up and down her tongue went, Edelgard tasted as much as she could from the blossoming pink region. Byleth groaned and shuddered when her spouse tried to keep her thighs apart.

“A-AH! E-El—!!”

Byleth bucked from the powerful sensation. Her clitoris— Her clitoris! Edelgard became drunk from its scent as her mouth worked wonders upon the sensitive head and greedy lips. Had it not been for Edelgard’s strong arms keeping her hips down, she would have tossed the other female out of the mattress by accident! A faint grunt came from the busy white-haired. Enough blood had pooled into Byleth’s abdomen to cause a feminine erection of the pink nub.

“I’m not holding back.”

“Hnngh?!”

An index finger greeted the entranceway in the midst of her lavishing. First, its fingertip lightly brushed upon its surface. Vertical strokes croaked immodest sounds from the older woman. Eventually, the lord dug not one, but two fingers into the wet region.

“D-Deep!”

That was the remark after Edelgard wiggled the two body parts into her body. It was a foreign sensation for Byleth since someone other than herself is feeling the inner walls. They naturally clenched around the slender fingers. Its squeeze and release intervals were synched with her core’s reactions. Byleth’s hands immediately flung to the bedsheets. She trembled when Edelgard curled her fingers.

“AH! That— Hnngh!”

Words were discombobulated; sentence structures fractured. The state of her verbal speech was similar to the state of her mind. They were clearly in another plane of existence. Byleth lifted her head as her hips moved on its own.

SLICK, SLICK, SLICK

The sound effects were not helping. In this dead night, the steamy room amplified the wet motion coming from Edelgard’s fingers. Paired with their fast, hot breaths, bliss clouded their mentality and overwhelmed their hearing.

“S—So good— Haaaah!”

Byleth wasn’t the only one to be pleasured. Edelgard felt herself become wet; wanton desires starting to override her sense of self. Unlike Byleth, she had close to zero self-restraint when it came to achieving the climactic finale.

Thank goodness multi-tasking was her forte. A quick prayer to a godless entity sprung forth as she removed her remaining hand on Byleth’s thigh. It went down to her dripping nether region. She grimaced in Byleth’s hypersensitive labia, her fingers making quick work of her own clitoris. If there’s something she wanted to do, it was to be shoved off the edge alongside with her teacher.

“Nngh...!”

“E-El!”

A glance at her spouse drastically sky-rocketed the pleasure by tenfold. Byleth squeezed her eyes shut and found it impossible to remove the burnt image of Edelgard masturbating during their hot intercourse.

“I— Something… it’s coming— AH!”

The way the teal-haired’s face twisted… her looks were becoming desperate as Edelgard relentless tortured her with the thrust of her fingers and flick of her tongue on the clit. She was occupied with three matters at once, but Edelgard had always kept her lilac hues pointed at her significant other. There was so much to take in. She had to record them and burn them to memory. The amount of beauty that glistened from her wife… A dictionary would not be able to fully convey the radiant perfection of a being that is called “Byleth.”

Another groan burst from Edelgard, her fingers rushing to the finish line. The intensity was burning into her core and gathered enough aroused energy to strongly throb her rubbed nub.

“El… EL!”

“Byleth—!”

She was close, and so was Byleth. In an effort, to reach the mountain’s peak, Edelgard pulled back her fingers. They were pulled enough just enough to leave the remaining tips inside of the pulsating walls. A few rough rubs on the outer flesh were made. Then, she slammed it right back inside, curving at the most sensitive and erogenous area of the vagina: the G-spot. This was immediately followed up with her lips closing around the clitoris and sucking hard on it.

“A-AH—!!!”

“!!!”

Byleth’s muscles began to jerk, her figure stiffened, and her knuckles white as a huge explosion implored upon her body. As for Edelgard, she felt her body quiver from a sudden flow of euphoria throughout her figure. She retracted from her own area. Yet it wasn’t over for her teacher. She made sure to drag out Byleth’s climatic experience for as long as humanly possible, her tongue taking in the fluids, licking the moist premise, and swiftly rocking her curved fingers in and out.

“W—Why is it—! No— It’s coming again— NNNNGH!”

Right when she came down from her high, her professor bounced right back up to another orgasm. Though it was not as powerful as the first one, it still sent her spiraling upward to the clouds once more, pleasure rippling through her body until it faded into nothingness.

Their figures finally plopped back down on the mattress. A whimper came from Byleth’s direction once Edelgard removed her soaked fingers. All forms of heat excluding her spouse’s body evaporated instantly; the drug they undertook began to wear off. Now, they were basked with pleasant aftermath. Eyelids half-closed and head fuzzy, Byleth arms were extended outward on the bed to stare at the noble.

Edelgard crawled up as the blanket (with great wonder) continued to cling onto her shoulders. Upper body raised in a cobra position, not long afterward, she inserted the wet fingers into her mouth. Byleth’s eyes widened at the sight.

“T-That’s dirty!”

“Not if it’s from you,” she smirked. “You’re always a dessert I never tire from.”

“…”

Geez, when did Edelgard learn how to talk like that? Did she learn it from Dorothea…? No, it had to be Sylvain, right? No… that can’t be it… Just who and/or where did she learn that from? (Silly Byleth, it was from you!) The professor’s features became bright red, an embarrassed chuckle heard.

“I… I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t need to say anything, my dear teacher.” She leaned down to tenderly kiss Byleth. Strands of her white locks fell upon Byleth’s rising chest as she proclaimed, “I will always be yours, and I won’t let anyone ever take that away.”

“El…”

That’s right… Though her PTSD is not easy to overcome, she must remember that she has Edelgard von Hresvelg. The woman whom she first protected, the woman whom she first taught, the woman whom she opened up to, the woman who became her wife. Past trauma may be ebbed into her history book, but the future can be built on top of them.

Their fingers intertwined. Then, Byleth closed her eyes and beamed.

“I will always be yours too.”

[alessandrapushaw-blog]

With the evidence of this last witness

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Get daily updates directly to your inbox+ SubscribeThank you for subscribing!Earlier today, Record Sport told you how the Ibrox side are considering their legal position after it emerged thousands of their replica shirts are due to go on sale without the club's permission tomorrow.A number of Scotland's leading high street sports shops have been taking deliveries of the club's new look Puma strips throughout the past 24 hours and are ready to start selling the jerseys from in store and online from Thursday morning.(Photo: Tony Nicoletti/Daily Record)But that has come as a surprise to Rangers who say they have no knowledge of any deal between Sports Direct, Puma and other shops Cheap Jerseys china.Greaves Sports confirmed on Twitter that they will not be selling any of the new home, away and third kits until they have discussed the matter with Rangers.The statement on the website read: "Since terminating the IP Licence and Rights Agreement with Rangers Retail Limited, the club has made its best efforts to engage with PUMA on an agreed way forward without the involvement of Sports Direct for the manufacture of replica kits and other merchandise to supporters.Rangers ready to launch legal bid as Mike Ashley prepares to sell the jerseys without club go ahead"During discussions it emerged that PUMA had manufactured some replica kit after receiving purchase orders directly from Sports Direct and without the prior knowledge or agreement of the club and its directors on the Rangers Retail Limited board, Paul Murray and David King."Despite requests to Sports Direct and PUMA we have not been able to ascertain full details of this arrangement or to reconcile it with the commercial contracts that were in place between the club and Rangers Retail Limited.(Photo: SNS)"The club has not been party to discussions on the launch of kit sales by PUMA this week. We were first notified of their intentions after close of business on Friday last week."We are surprised and disappointed by the lack of consultation with the club and/or supporters groups prior to the launch."Mark Warburton's side kick off the new Premiership season at home to Hamilton on Saturday but the players have already been wearing the latest Puma design in summer friendlies and in League Cup action despite its unavailability in the shops.Rangers supporters group, Club 1872, issued their own statement this evening and are urging supporters not to buy any of the kirs no matter what retailer has them on sale."It is absolutely clear from the statement issued by Rangers that the situation regarding official Rangers merchandise has not been resolved to their satisfaction," said Club 1872."As a result we would urge supporters not to purchase the official kit from ANY outlets where it goes on sale.(Photo: Joe Giddens/PA Wire)"It has been clear for some time that Sports Direct continue to treat both our football club and our supporters with utter contempt. It is extremely disappointing to see Puma follow suit by making this season's kit available for sale without reaching a satisfactory agreement with Rangers https://www.cheapjerseys168.com."We have been used to this type of behaviour from Sports Direct and Mike Ashley but it now appears Puma are following suit Cheap Jerseys china.

[whambamcam]

WHO: Cameron, @levi-st-james, and @miles-mccarthy

WHAT: Levi discovers that his brother’s been lying to him about his feelings for his sworn enemy...

WHERE: Cam, Levi, and Miles’ room, LA Airbnb.

WHEN: Thursday, 30th April.

TRIGGERS?: N/A.

Lounging on his bed scrolling through his phone, Cameron glanced up as Levi got up to leave the room, saying something about a shower. It had been hard to find alone time with Miles throughout this trip, despite their shared bedroom. Levi had been a necessary addition to their room to prevent any suspicion, but Cam was learning to take every moment he could, seeing opportunity in his brother finally leaving him and Miles alone. Scheming for a second, a grin spread across his face slowly, putting his phone down and grabbing the pillow behind his head to launch it at Miles. Bounding off his own bed, he joined Miles on his, straddling his hips. "Next time, we're getting our own room," he muttered, before leaning down to capture Miles' lips enthusiastically, happiness bubbling up in him.

Miles was lounging back on his bed, scrolling mindlessly through his twitter feed. He hummed slightly as Levi left, not really paying attention until the pillow hit him. He blinked, “Hey,” he complained, but went quiet as the other boy bounced toward him and moved over him. Miles smiled as he leant up to meet Cameron for the kiss, his hand sliding into the other’s hair as he pulled him down over him, parting his legs slightly and losing himself in the kiss.

Levi awoke to a minor headache. He'd partied a little too harty the night before and all he wanted to do was wash last night off of him. He threw off the covers & grabbed his phone - not even sending a "good morning" Cam or Miles's way. "Shower..." was all he blurted out, groggily and made his way out the door and down the hall to the right, all the while barely keeping his eyes open. Once he made it into the bathroom, he put on his shower playlist & made his way into the shower. His thoughts drifted to how relaxed this trip made him, given that opening night was approaching quicker than he liked, but he was focusing on having a good time with his friends.

Cameron laughed at Miles' reaction to the pillow, an amused smirk on his face. "Did I hurt you?" he teased against Miles' lips, running his hands down Miles' chest. "I can kiss it better." He trailed his lips down Miles' jaw to his neck, leaving a path of soft kisses in his wake. They definitely didn't have time to do anything else, even with Levi's vanity undoubtedly leading to a long shower, but Cameron could tease him a little -- leave him wanting more for later. They'd have to find an actual place to sneak off to together. Cam was getting ansty. Scraping his teeth against Miles' skin gently, he found his lips again, deepening the kiss as he ground his hips a little. He was definitely there to tease.

Miles slowly blinked open his eyes, smirking up at Cameron and kissing him again quickly before the other trailed his lips down his neck. “Mhmhm,” he hummed, scratching his fingers through Cam’s hair as he tilted back his head slightly. He groaned as the older boy rocked down against him, lifting his own hips and parting his lips to kiss Cam back deeply, trying not to let himself get too carried away but he’d been wanting to have Cam pressing him down into his bed since they’d first stepped foot in LA.

After drying off after his shower, Levi wrapped a towel around his waist & grabbed his phone, making his way out of the steamy bathroom. He looked down at his phone and realized that it was still early enough for him to take his time getting ready, but what he would see next would scar him for life. He turned the corner, opened the door to his room, and was shocked to find his brother straddling the guy that, up until this point apparently, he swore he hated. "What the-"

As Miles scratched his fingernails across his scalp, Cam couldn't help but let out a soft moan. He was getting carried away, but Miles had an effect on him that nobody else had. Caught between kissing him and wanting to pull away and suggest they find somewhere private, Cam didn't register the sound of the door opening until it was too late -- only responding when he heard Levi's voice. Shit. Cam leapt away from Miles as quickly as he could, running a nervous hand through his hair, suddenly unsure where to put his hands or how to hold his body in a normal, human way. "H-hey," he greeted shakily, face an ever-deepening shade of crimson. "How was your shower?"

Miles had barely even heard when Levi spoke, blinking as suddenly Cam leapt off him, before glancing to the side with wide eyes. He slowly reached to grab a pillow and slid it down to cover his hips. “Levi, hey...” he murmured slowly, looking to Cameron for help with how to deal with this current situation, noting how red he’d gone and letting out an awkward chuckle. “So, uh... now you know?”

Levi's face was agape & he didn't know how to react. His own flesh and blood had been keeping a secret from him for who knows how long, and this is how he was finding out. "My shower was great, Cam, how was your grind sesh with your sworn enemy?" He didn't know why he was pissed; it was probably just the shock of walking in on his brother & Miles swapping spit & grinding up on each other. "I think the real question is: How long have you been fucking Miles?"

Cameron didn't really know where to look or how to react, tugging his shirt down as he rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "It was -- good. I -- realise I didn't need to answer that question." He coughed a little, glancing over at Miles to try and gauge the other boy's reaction. Levi wasn't the first to know, but he was certainly the most important to Cam -- and knowing Levi, definitely the most likely to tell everybody else. "It's not like that. We're not -- fucking. We're -- dating. He's my boyfriend." He bit his lip, shrugging a little. "Officially, only a few days. Obviously it's been going on longer, but... I only asked him on Tuesday."

Miles couldn’t help but laugh when Cameron answered the first question, but bit his lip and went quiet as he realised Levi didn’t seem impressed with the situation. “Uhm, yeah, he pretty much covered it. We just- wanted to see where it was going before telling everyone, y’know?” he murmured, looking back to Levi and smiling sheepishly.

So many things were running through his mind, Levi didn’t know how to process what was happening. One on hand: he was pissed that this was how he was finding out, on the other: he was happy that Cam finally found someone. “So...this isn’t just a hook-up, then? You guys really like each other?” He asked. “When did....how....” his voice trailed off at Mile’s comment “So then, I’m the first to know about you?” He said a bit too excitedly. Finally he would have something over everyone else & prove that, just because he was the youngest St. James, that didn’t mean he wasn’t less than his siblings.

"No, it's not just a hook up. I really like him," Cameron confirmed, reaching out to grab Miles' hand and shuffling slightly closer to him. It felt good to tell Levi -- his brother was the person he was closest to in the world, despite all their teasing, and now he could share something so important with him. "Actually, you're -- third. Zeke and Clara both know, they've walked in on us... but I haven't told Hannah, or even Mom or Dad." Cameron bit his lip guiltily -- he hoped Levi wouldn't be hurt by not being told right away. At least he was the first St. James to know. "But you're the first to know he's my boyfriend. I don't know what the others think, but... that's a scoop."

Miles looked to Cam then, smiling as the boy took his hand, squeezing it gently, before glancing back at Levi and nodding. "Apparently we're not very good at this 'keeping it a secret' thing," Miles murmured, scratching at his head with his free hand. "But yeah, you're the first to know it's official. He asked me on the ferris wheel, where I couldn't escape."

He couldn’t help but admit how sweet Cam & Mikes looked together, & he could see how sincere Cam was being. Levi turned his shocked expression into one of happiness. “Wow, guys. This seems really genuine. Congratulations!” He went to go hug them, but realized he was still only in a towel. “Uh...maybe I should put some clothes on before any celebratory hugs.” He said with a laugh. However happy he was right now quickly changed at the revelation that he was not, in fact, the first to know, but rather the third. “So....wait. You told the guy who’s been thirsting after you first, then your ex-girlfriend, and I only found out by walking in on you; Were you ever going to tell me?” He was over this. He and Cam had shared everything with each other & their relationship was the one Levi valued above all. Now he was the last to know. “Y’know what? Forget it. I don’t think I want the answer to that question.” He walked over to his dresser, pulled out underwear, shorts, and a tank top, and headed for the door. “I can’t be in here right now.” And slammed the door without a second look back at his brother.

Despite his fear, it seemed that Levi was happy for them, Cameron smiling as his brother stepped forward to hug him. "Yeah, might be a good idea," he agreed with a laugh, relief seeping through him. Maybe this was going to be painless. But then he admitted the part about Clara and Zeke knowing, and Levi's body language changed entirely -- Cam's heart sinking a little. "They only found out by walking in on us," he protested quickly, dropping MIles' hand to go over to his brother. "Of course I was going to tell you. You were the person I wanted to tell most." He watched Levi as he got dressed, wanting to say more but not knowing how he could make his brother listen to him. Before he knew it, Levi was gone, slamming the door behind him. Biting his lip, he turned to look at Miles, shrugging a little. "I should let him cool off, right?" he asked, fighting his instinct to chase after Levi. "God, he's never going to forgive me."

Just as things seemed to be turning, and Miles was relaxing as Levi moved to hug them before pulling back, Cameron dropped the fact that Clara and Zeke both knew, albeit from walking in on them in very similar situations. He blinked as he saw Levi change, and Miles moved to stand. "Yeah, they only-" he started, but Levi was out the door before he could finish. He sighed as the door closed, and looked back at his boyfriend, slowly moving closer to take both his hands. "He will, it's just a shock," Miles murmured, "Give him a little time. I'm sure if you pull him aside, explain how it was all accidental that Clara and Zeke found out too, he'll understand."

As the door shut behind him, Levi didn't know why he did what he just did. Sure, he was pissed that his own flesh and blood didn't tell him some major news, but he was more upset at the fact that it felt like Cam couldn't trust him to keep this a secret. He'd been running over what Miles & Cam had said about how Clara & Zeke found out in a similar way and thought wow those two suck at locking doors. Maybe he was overreacting - he couldn't help it, though, he was Rachel Berry's son after all - but there was no denying that he was hurt. He thought about going back in the room, apologizing for the way he acted, but he couldn't face Cam again. Instead, he turned on his heels and headed out the main door of the house to cool down. He'd deal with whatever Cam had to say later on.

Cam sighed, trying not to spiral too quickly into a place of despair. Ruining his relationship with Levi was the last thing he wanted -- he loved his brother more than anything. He squeezed Miles' hands, shrugging a little. "I hope so," Cam murmured, before wrapping his arms around Miles and leaning into him. "He's also probably going to tell everyone. We might have been found out for good now." Cameron didn't mind the world knowing -- he was happy with Miles. But Levi forgiving him was more important. "We should tell everyone else. Hiding it is fun, but letting everyone know how cute you are... that's even more fun."

Miles slid his arms around Cameron then, pulling him into a hug and kissing his cheek. "Well, maybe it's okay if everyone knows," he murmured, smiling as he pulled back. "And he will forgive you. You just gotta talk to him, explain that he would have been the first you'd tell if we weren't so fucking awful at locking doors." He chuckled, one of his hands resting on Cameron's chest. "So yes, let's tell everyone. Why not? I want everyone to know how cute I am.”

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S4 Ep1 Part 2: The Soul Stealing Motorcycle Card Gang With an Australian Accent

So a lot of things that happen at once in this episode, and one of the wild things is something that has been building for 3 entire seasons of Yugioh but because all this other stuff is happening, it’s like...secondary. Slowly, we’ve been watching all of these cards becoming more and more real to the point that yes, they are in fact Physical now--other people are noticing, it’s finally happening. the cards are finally real. Magic exists. This is a very big deal.

Like I’ve seen some of y’alls comments about how S4 is kind of crazy and well...cards becoming real was my one and only guess as to what crazy thing could happen in S4 and that happened halfway through the first episode so...it’s all uphill from here

But what’s crazy about this is that although this has been built up for so long,  all our main characters are so freakin distracted, that they look up at the sky and see...youknow...this tapestry here:

And treat it like they’re looking at a flock of really weird birds or something. Like this is world breaking, terrifying, end of the world, Independence Day level red alert and yet instead of the military marching down and shooting lasers at all of these things, everyone is going to just simply walk home.

No one is going to evacuate. Yugi’s Dad isn’t going to show up in a Mad Max style motorcycle in jean cutoffs and be like “I knew it was happening, Son, this is what I’ve been doing for the past 3 years PS, it was worth it now, huh?” no, that isn’t happening.

Instead we’re going to very patiently, and very carefully just not panic and walk home.

Everyone’s just gonna...walk on the sidewalk home, huh? Patiently follow traffic laws? Wait for the light to turn red and everything?

No one even slightly wants to know what any of these monsters taste like? Just me? I mean this is your one opportunity to cook and eat a scapegoat and you know that thing’s got to be delicious under barbecue sauce.

And the funny thing is, people saw this happening and was like “I should call that game company and let them know that there’s real ass dragons that look like their video game flying around.”

Like imagine that Nintendo became real and there’s just...Goombas everywhere. Would I be...calling the Nintendo Hotline?

Hell No. I would be checking all food blogs everywhere for how to roast a Goomba on a grill, because you KNOW those things would be nuts after a few hours in a marinade, draped with fried egg on rice.

But in Yugioh, they’re like calling up Kaiba Corp and hoping that customer service can somehow make the living, breathing dragons and whatever that flying turtle thing was just...stop existing. They’re pretty sure Kaiba can “turn off” the flying monsters.

I think I’m still spelling it wrong, too.

Also, Kuriboh is real now and that...sucks.

That’s a lot of gross hair just flying around and I guarantee it’s gonna give everyone lice. That nasty ass sentient ball of hair you pulled out of your shower drain is just...flying around outside with huge googly eyes.

Freakin sucks. You can’t possibly eat a Kuriboh, it’s way too much hair and I guarantee when you skin that thing it’s like just a meatball to put on the tiniest little skewer and that’s it.

Sorry Bro just informed me that Kuriboh is a ghost??????

???

Also one of the cards is straight up an American Quarter.

I just want to bring up that there’s one (1) cursed ass American Quarter somewhere on Earth and that is going to be a real shocker for the one person that picks up that Quarter and doesn’t realize that when you flip it, it can kill people.

And I just did hunt to figure out what the hell the quarter card is called and I’m starting to think maybe the the show made it up? Wtv my memory is patchy when it comes to the cards.

And for all the cards that are just people but with more muscles, what are they gonna do? Is Dark Magician gonna have to go try and get a reception job to pay the bills? Is anyone going to hire Dark Magician in this economy?

(read more under the cut)

On their pleasurable walk home amongst all the horrible abominations and I guess a couple of bizarre magician hats floating around, they come across...this:

They just left them there in the middle of the street next to this nasty ass Gecko that would ABSOLUTELY eat them.

Also that Gecko...that’s just an alligator that can climb walls, right? Like this is Florida level of insane terrible creature you never want to have climbing walls? That was the one thing we had on alligators--vertical walls.

Youknow, Florida is probably the only place on Earth in this Universe that is actually completely fine.

On the other side of town, Roland is having his best day ever.

I do enjoy that Roland's line was “Mr Kaiba assured me that it’s not their company’s fault” which makes it sound sort of like he had some serious doubts. And might still have some serious doubts. And that he’s so sure that it was Kaiba, that he’s just going to say the “company” isn’t to blame.

And so they decided, well instead of evacuating the city, lets go have dinner at the Muto house. So, they all decided to not check in with everyone else’s parents and family and instead had a fun hang out sesh and watched TV.

They went to school with this guy.

Like they went to school with this guy like a month ago and now he’s giving press conferences in front of a dictator-style tapastry.

The imposter syndrome in Domino High must be pretty wild if you’re always getting compared to Seto Kaiba, is all I’m saying. Maybe that’s why the rest of the class has just decided to drop out.

*Cut to Pegasus’ island where there’s like 80 dead wife zombies running around and Pegasus and Croquet have locked themselves into the bathroom while they watch the zombie wives eat whatever’s left of PaniK.*

It looks like my dream ending of Yugioh, that Seto Kaiba’s company gets sued to hell and back and everyone goes to prison isn’t quite realized yet but it’s looking slowly and surely more real every day.

Kind of surprising that they assume so quickly that Kaiba is lying when they’re sitting next to Pinocchio over here.

So once you think, well...they can’t add more to this episode, no, we’re just gonna straight up knock out Yugi’s Grandpa...again. He needs a life alert. Does Yugi wear a life alert?

And you’d think they’d assume that a monster did this, right? Nah. It’s people. Real ass people did this but not one of the many huge ass monsters that apparently are kind of like Pokémon and don’t feel like doing more than just flap their arms and sit on stuff.

Anyways, the God Cards are gone. Goodbye, Deux ex Machina cards.

Feel a little bad for the one building just directly under the shadow of obelisk, looking up and just seeing a giant, glittery, blue ass.

And then a whole bunch of motorcycles showed up??? Like MOTORCYCLES. And I was like “BRO are they gonna play cards on motorcycles!?” because one of the only reasons I decided “OK Bro, lets actually watch Yugioh” is, and I’ve said this before, because someone mentioned on twitter that they’ll play cards on motorcycles but no.

No one plays cards on motorcycles this episode, they just show up to rev their engines and shine their brights.

Also at least one of them has like the thickest stage Australian accent and it is...rough. He said “bum” once instead of “butt” and you could tell it was just...they said bum to make him sound a little bit more Aussie because we don't really know how to do Australian in the States. We don’t know how this accent works, I’m so sorry.

But anyways, apparently after the God Cards got their energy sapped out, they can now just...be played by whomever? Not entirely clear.

And then they just...drove away.

Like they drove away without even telling them where to go?

And I was like...maybe they just went to that building under construction right there that is...somehow directly across from Yugi’s house which is...directly across from a super wide 12 laned street?

But...that can’t be right, right? I’m sometimes a little confused by the geography of this show but it’s a cartoon and they’re hard to make so we’ll forgive it.

Anyway, while Grandpa Muto counts up the damages to send to the insurance company, they figure out where to go, probably by following the God Cards which are...summoned here like holograms although...they are real? Right?

Like...

...so if there’s monsters just flying around, and it’s all the monsters of the duel monster deck, then there is a version of Slither just hanging out somewhere already, right? Or is the one they summon with the card the real Slither?

The show never thought that hard about it honestly. You can both play duel monster cards which I believe are no longer holograms when you play them and also they just inherently exist now so...Lets not think about it and just go to a brand new fight club roof. You know how much these kids love construction equipment.

Also is this the roof of a freakin IKEA? Look at the size of that thing.

This cultist just begging for Seto Kaiba to run a helicopter straight into him. Which Seto would probably do all over again if Seto were here.

I guess Seto decided to either go the hell to sleep and hope tomorrow will prove today was a bad dream, or he is celebrating the very best day of his life with his brother, sight seeing all the dragons and desperately trying to lure the dragons into his home with carrots under a box trap or something.

This guy ABSOLUTELY does Shakespeare in the park and only gets like minor, very minor roles, right? Like he’s the understudy for King Lear’s manservant who has no speaking lines and just pours water into a cup in one scene? And he takes it VERY seriously?

Yo these side burns.

So bro was like, who do you think would have more product in their hair? This guy or Yugi? And it’s like..well...here’s the thing about Yugi’s hair, he’s got a lot of product, but he has enough scalp to tease the hell out of it. But how do you tease your side burns? How do you tease your side burns so they have the lift of an old timey moustache? you can’t. Those side burns are 90% Elmers glue.

Hello there, offbrand Final Fantasy guy I see you got a Cloud shoulder pad but you wear two of them.

...

It’s a look they chose.

I...there’s a lot going on with all of these looks, especially the guy who is straight up wearing pieces of armor on his shoulders in the middle here for no reason but oh I will get to the looks when we see them in more detail later.

But it’s like, do you think Mr Monocle, who’s only character design trait is a single Monocle, will stay in the show very long? Compared to these guys?

Hm.

I guess we will see.

Thanks, Pegasus.

Thanks for giving us absolutely NO heads up about any of your disaster cards you produced and let loose across the world. Congrats on that. Congrats on printing this freakin card that steals people’s souls and delivering it out there where children could find it in their happy meals.

Like do you think he printed the Orichalcos card before or after the God Cards? Because I’d like to think that he finished up shoving the God Cards onto Ishizu and then was like “phew, crisis averted” and then immediately painted a weird geometric shape and was like “Damn it! I did it again!? Every time I decide not to paint my dead wife I just paint something even worse!”

Anyways, it’s aesthetic takes me back to a much simpler time of my life, and when it shows up the Titanic song pops up in my head? I can’t explain it. It’s just very...very...

It just screams edgy Riverdance to me, maybe it’s just me, but I feel like it should be accompanied by Enya? Just me? The runes just seem very old world Europe.

Bro really wants these to be the runes above Noah’s fireplace and he’s been holding this in for like an entire season, but that’s not going to happen.

Because I have the receipts:

Evidence again that Noah’s fireplace was just what Noah thought art was, since he’s a computer and all. He rendered perfect fire and then got to the art and was like fuuuuuuuuuuu just like anyone else who first gets into Unity.

Anyway, Joey got knocked over, so Pharaoh decided to save his friends and it got him nowhere because, like we already figured out last episode and basically more and more every episode of Yugioh, Pharaoh is a freakin idiot.

So fun fact about the 00′s I’m sure everyone here fondly remembers unless you’re 12 (in which case, why are you on tumblr?) Remember how much we were OBSESSED with glowy blue-green lines and dots on everything in concept art? I really think that trend lasted until about James Cameron’s Avatar when we realized “we took it too far y’all” and then it just kinda died. Still hangs around, but it’s not quite as obvious as the 00′s when it was like “ah I see you have a glowy pastel magicky thingy in your art. A+, lets put it in a grimdark dystopian YA fiction.”

...It was a phase and seeing this shade of green as a glow just really brings me back to the halcyon days of a little less than 10 years ago. It’s very something that would have been in steampunk.

They also get this logo on their head when they use this card, just like Pharaoh but significantly less cool. And it’s on all this guy’s monsters too, so everyone gets the power of branding. With this logo that looks like a joke Portlandia would make about indie logos.

Pharaoh kind of shrugs this off because like...his soul lives in a freakin necklace and he has magic so...whatever.

And then we get the full cheese spread--look at this cheese!

WOWOWOWOW

Look at Dieselpunk Amelie! Here I thought that now Marik wasn’t around we’d have no more stupid crop tops, but it’s back and man I am so happy it’s back. Damn. Everyone has a popped collar covered in as many square inches of belts as they could fit on em. Belts just hanging off willy nilly in every direction so you can barely walk through a hallway without your belt slapping on the edges. Them walking through a revolving door must be the most dangerous game outside of Duel Monsters.

woah.

Oh man, and I didn’t even noticed that they made the middle guy ripped as hell for no reason. His arm looks like a Payday candybar.

But MAN.

Someone give that guy on the right a sword the size of himself because...holy hell his jacket is so massive that it has an accordion shoulder pad for some reason???

Oh shoot I didn’t even realize guy on the right has about 6 rivets on his fingerless gloves, too. Wow.

Oh man it’s a lot to take in.

Do you see em? Do you see how many weird ass accessories are all over these characters these underpaid animators will have to draw SO MANY TIMES?

Oh man, the poor cosplayers! It must be so hard to go from Bandit Keith--a fairly easy cosplay--to the Accordian shouldered 11-belted jacket on Mr I-Dare-You-To-Cosplay-These-Sideburns.

And then this guy screws himself:

I’m not gonna add him to the Yugioh Death Counter yet, but I have a feeling, especially after seeing how few belts this guy has on...I just have a really strong feeling he’s absolutely going to die.

Goodbye, normal guy, you were too normie for this bizarre world.

Anyway, feel free to leave in the comments, if Yugioh cards became real, which one would you immediately eat and how? (and we can count plant cards as actual plants for the vegans, even if they can talk or whatev--them’s plants, they’re kosher.)

(realizes I have no idea if there’s even plant type cards in Yugioh or if that’s just a pokemon thing)

Anyway that’s all for now but if you just got here, this is a link to read all my Yugioh recaps in Chrono Order, fair warning...this is S4.

[comixology]

DC joins comiXology Unlimited, Kindle Unlimited, and Prime Reading

Now there are three more ways for readers to enjoy DC’s acclaimed titles and characters like Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Justice League, Sandman, Watchmen, V for Vendetta, Transmetropolitan, Preacher, 100 Bullets, Fables, and more

ComiXology Unlimited is just $5.99 a month with a 30-day free trial for new members

January 8, 2019 – New York, NY – DC, comiXology, and Amazon announced today that select DC and DC Vertigo titles are now available through multiple subscription services at no additional cost: comiXology Unlimited, Kindle Unlimited, and Prime Reading. Expanding availability to these three services makes it easier than ever for Amazon customers to enjoy DC’s Super Heroes like Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and Justice League, as well as DC Vertigo’s high concept series like Sandman, Watchmen, V for Vendetta, Transmetropolitan, Preacher, 100 Bullets, Fables, and more.

With the addition of thousands of select DC single issues, collections and graphic novels – including exclusive fan-favorites from the DC Vertigo imprint – comiXology Unlimited remains $5.99 a month with a 30-day free trial for new members. Kindle Unlimited members will also enjoy a selection of single issues, collections and graphic novels, while subscribers of Prime Reading will have access to a curated and rotating list of highly regarded DC and DC Vertigo graphic novels, for no additional cost. This expansion across the three services provides the perfect entry points for those new to DC and DC Vertigo.

“We are thrilled to now include an incredible selection of DC’s vast library of Super Heroes and DC Vertigo titles as part of comiXology Unlimited, Kindle Unlimited, and Prime Reading, bringing an even bigger benefit to all our subscription members” said comiXology CEO and Co-Founder David Steinberger. “With the addition of DC and DC Vertigo titles we’re providing more convenience and a great opportunity for readers to discover and explore some of the best stories comics have to offer at no additional cost to their current Prime, Kindle Unlimited or comiXology Unlimited subscription.”

“DC is constantly looking at ways of growing the audience for comics and graphic novels, so teaming up with comiXology Unlimited, Kindle Unlimited and Prime Reading is a natural fit,” said John Cunningham, Senior Vice President of Sales & Trade Marketing. “From Aquaman to Sandman, there’s so much for DC readers, old and new, to love here.”

Today, comiXology Unlimited and Kindle Unlimited members see the addition of many bestselling DC Comics and Vertigo titles, including a selection of single issues, collections, and graphic novels available to read from the following series:

DC: All Star Superman Animal Man (2011-2014) Aquaman (2011-2016) Arrow (2012-2013) Batgirl (2016- ) Batman (2011-2016) Batwoman (2011-2015) Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Batman: The Long Halloween Batman: White Knight Cyborg (2016- ) Green Lanterns (2016-) Harley Quinn (2016-) Identity Crisis Injustice: Gods Among Us (2013) Injustice 2 (2017-) The Mulitversity (2014) New Super-Man (2016-) Supergirl (2016-) Teen Titans (2016-) Wonder Woman (2016-) …and many more!

DC Vertigo: 100 Bullets American Vampire Astro City (2013- ) Books of Magick: Life During Wartime (2004-2005) Clean Room (2015-2017) Doom Patrol (1987-1995) Ex-Machina Fables Hellblazer Preacher The Sandman Scalped Sweet Tooth Transmetropolitan V for Vendetta Watchmen Y: The Last Man …and many more!

Fans across the globe have been attracted to DC’s amazing characters through top-grossing movies, critically-acclaimed TV series, and ground breaking new publishing series that have driven titles like The Flash, Arrow, Batwoman, and Hellblazer to new heights, alongside perennial favorites like Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, and more. The expanded availability of DC’s content announced today between DC, comiXology, and Amazon builds upon DC’s digital comic book partnership on comiXology and Kindle.

ComiXology Unlimited currently offers over 20,000 comics, graphic novels and manga for just $5.99 a month with a 30-day free trial at comixology.com/unlimited. Kindle Unlimited offers over 1 million titles, thousands of audiobooks, and select current issues of popular magazines for just $9.99 a month with a 30-day free trial at amazon.com/kindleunlimited. Prime Reading offers Amazon Prime members a rotating selection of over a thousand top Kindle books, magazines, short works, comic books, children’s books, and more – all at no additional cost.

About comiXology ComiXology, an Amazon.com, Inc. subsidiary (NASDAQ:AMZN), is a revolutionary, cloud-based digital comics platform. With content from over 125 publishers as well as thousands of independent creators from around the world, comiXology provides an unrivaled library of comic books, graphic novels, manga and bandes dessinées. The company’s first in class innovations include the exclusive Guided View technology which provides an immersive and cinematic reading experience and a new monthly subscription service. ComiXology is based in New York City, with operations in Seattle, Los Angeles and Paris. For more information visit comixology.com and follow the company on Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr. About Amazon Amazon is guided by four principles: customer obsession rather than competitor focus, passion for invention, commitment to operational excellence, and long-term thinking. Customer reviews, 1-Click shopping, personalized recommendations, Prime, Fulfillment by Amazon, AWS, Kindle Direct Publishing, Kindle, Fire tablets, Fire TV, Amazon Echo, and Alexa are some of the products and services pioneered by Amazon. For more information, visit www.amazon.com/about and follow @AmazonNews. About DC DC, home to iconic brands DC (Superman, Batman, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman, The Flash), DC Vertigo (Sandman, Fables) and MAD, is the creative division charged with strategically integrating its content across Warner Bros. Entertainment and WarnerMedia. DC works in concert with many key Warner Bros. divisions to unleash its stories and characters across all media, including but not limited to film, television, consumer products, home entertainment and interactive games. Publishing thousands of comic books, graphic novels and magazines each year, DC is one of the largest English-language publisher of comics in the world.

[taexmi-blog]

hello, hello! this is rosé, again, bringing my second child, lee taeyong! i also happen to play zero, so i’m not entirely brand new in the roleplay. this kid right here is much more approachable and genuine compared to zero; he’s a civilian, who works as a barista at his family owned café and a dancer at the local studio. he’s also studying in myeongcho university under the arts major ( right now, the specific is undefined, but he might pursue dance ) in his second year because although he’s twenty-two, he took nis training for two years, which will be explained under the cut. he’s also an ex-ulzzang, and did some modelling growing up on the island. also, yes, he has the superior silver hair — say hi to your local jack frost until his scalp burns. without further ado, please like this to plot with this shy bean! i’m also reachable via twitter and discord, so please ask for any of those! trigger warning ahead includes night terrors, insinuation to violence, age gap relationships.

he was born and raised in myeongcho, but prior to that, his parents met in the us. his father was a cia agent that dealt with international syndicates for quite a few years before meeting his mother, and they have quite an age gap. his father did not immediately stop the work after the meeting even when they were dating, until he lost some comrades in a large-scaled ambush by the syndicate known as ouroboros ( yes, if you followed zero’s arc maybe, zero did work for this syndicate ).

his father packed his bag after confessing to her about everything, and decided to start anew where she came from, which was myeongcho. giving up his american citizenship because he wanted nothing to do with that life anymore, he built a quaint café in myeongcho after taeyong was born.

taeyong did not know about his father’s origins and background until he was older, so basically, he was innocent until then. unaware of the gang lives here, but his father actually trained him to use weapons, so he’s not completely clueless. also martial arts, but he liked dancing more. his passion for dance showed up early, so he was enrolled in ballet and jazz classes. he also showed excellence in academic skills and some non-academic, like arts. the only thing that plagued him as a child was the night terrors, but as he grew up, this issue dissipated.

growing up as a pretty boy, many started to follow his sns accounts, so he became an accidental ulzzang of some sort. he was offered small modelling gigs as well, but never actually became one full-fledged model. his father disclosed the past during this time, too, intriguing him to follow his father’s footsteps even with his father’s tacit disapproval. he enlisted in nis training at the age of eighteen, and eventually returned to myeongcho from seoul at twenty because he decided he didn’t have that sense of justice in him.

he’s neutral at best, but he can fight back for himself and the people he cares about. that’s enough for him. he doesn’t meddle in gang people, treating them all the same. doesn’t side with the mpd either. morally somewhat light grey. he’s also working for his father while continuing with his hobbies. still popular for his pretty boy look ( did get scouted four times in seoul by entertainment agents ), but he’s quite shy. a bit awkward too, so please help his soul.

[babywhereyougone]

[Translation] The Television 2019-02 (original scan: nsnsns_mmm@twitter)

Takahashi to Inoue: I have an image of you having more defined muscles before, but you seem more soft lately…? My apologies if I’ve mistaken, have you been slacking off (lol). Inoue to Takahashi: You’re so good at talking. Always a big help for us. I would like you to practice your dancing a bit more (lol). As the oldest, please keep leading us forward!

Igari to Hashimoto: In 2018, the two of us were the jokesters causing Yuto stress (lol). Especially during the summer concerts MC, we were such fools. Let’s be even crazier in 2019! Hashimoto to Igari: Please keep working hard on your rapping. Go for a blond, fur costumes, rough around the edges kind of feel. Let’s work hard to have a concert at a huge venue one day.

Hashimoto to Sakuma: Please give me some of your height! I’m the tallest in the Hashimoto family, but I want to be even taller so Saku-chan, could you please give me some of yours? I want to keep up! Sakuma to Hashimoto: It’s gotten colder, but you’re still wearing sandals? And you keep saying it’s cold, it’s cold—please explain!? (lol) You’re gonna catch a cold?

Takahashi to Igari: Your hair is so long now. I think it looks really good! You dyed your hair purple, but it looks kinda red too—it’s really well done. Igari to Takahashi: Yuto and I MC’d together, and that was when Yuto transforms! You start up the conversation with the members, and the five of us in a rhythm.

Sakuma to Igari: We’re the same age, but it does’t feel like that at all. Thank you for always having an idea when I’m at a loss—in both work and in private. Igari to Sakuma: It feels like we’re always together—we go shopping together, we go out to eat together, we go to Disneyland together. The two of us had so much going wild at Disneyland from morning to evening.

Hashimoto to Inoue: Realized we only have a few more months left of high school! Although it was tough balancing school and work, we had a lot of fun when I look back on it. Let’s go all out and have the best time during our graduation ceremony! Inoue to Hashimoto: It’s almost our graduation. The always cheery mood maker Hashimoto was there at school so it always a good time. Looking forward to working with you graduation onwards, too!

Takahashi to Hashimoto: Everyone changed their hairstyles in 2018, but Hashimoto-kun went the above and beyond. I worry about your scalp, but I look forward to even more of your unique hairstyles! Hashimoto to Takahashi: You have to give a serious comment at press conferences, so thank you for being the ones who makes the statement. Because you take on that responsibility, I am free to say whatever I like so you’re a big help!

Igari to Inoue: We don’t really go shopping together, but we often discuss each other’s fashion. I trust Mizuki-kun’s point of view since he gives objective opinions. Inoue to Igari: Thank you for writing the rap. Thank you for creating the choreography. Thank you for everything you did for our concert. Never lose your unique style!

Inoue to Sakuma: Saku-chan’s jokes are pretty boring, but when it’s really bad, it’s kind of soothing. You always have that kind of humor. Also, how tall are you now? You’re freaking huge (lol). Sakuma to Inoue: You were drinking vegetable juice a lot during this summer; have you been skipping it lately? You actually don’t like vegetable juice, right? How do you really feel about it?

Takahashi to Sakuma: There were a lot of days where you would call me, “Let’s go have yakiniku!,” and we’d go and eat so much. Let’s do it again. Also, Saku-chan, you snore pretty loudly when you’re tired (lol). Sakuma to Takahashi: Your music selection timing is so not courteous! When everyone is exhausted, you play hardcore rock music and it’s like… what the heck, now!? Your energy level doesn’t line up with everyone else (lol).

- - - - - - - - - -

My Lucky Item:

Hashimoto: I love sunglasses, and I have more than 20 pairs of them. I’m currently into the 100% UV polarized ones.

Inoue: A good luck charm from Kurumazaki Shrine. My grandpa and grandma bought it for me when I was in my third year of junior high. It’s always in the pocket of my bag.

Takahashi: White wristwatch. To celebrate my entrance to university, my parents bought it for me. I got to pick out the one I liked.

Igari: I’ve only worn it for about six months, but my heart charm necklace. It’s like a good luck charm to get through anything.

Sakuma: Cafe IC card. Had to queue up to buy it so it’s rare and memorable.

- - - - - - - - - -

From concerts to stage plays, HiHi Jets had an incredibly busy year. Takahashi: During the summer, we had our first solo concert at Tokyo EX Theatre which was a huge deal. Up until then, we were backups to our senpai so this was the first time only the five of us were the main acts for the entire show. Being able to meet that challenge has given us confidence. Inoue: Yeah. What we wanted to do became clear, and we were able to show the color (essence/character). Igari: It was a busy year~ Hashimoto: Yeah. A really fulfilling year! Sakuma: We learned a lot when we did “DREAM BOYS” together with Kis-My-Ft2. Inoue: Especially the comedy “time.” Igari: Mizuki-kun, Hashimocchan, and Saku-chan took on the challenge of comedy skits. Sakuma: Yeah. There was a scene in the play where we had to do comedy skits… it was so hard. Hashimoto: It really was~ Was able to do my best with detailed guidance from Senga (Kento)-kun. Sakuma: Senga-kun was watching us from the wings everyday. Hashimoto: We tried harder to make Senga-kun laugh more than we did the audience (lol). Takahashi: Senga-kun laughed so much. Whatever the skit was for the audience, he’d burst out in laughter. Inoue: Getting Senga-kun to laugh is enough! Igari: The success rate of the audience laughing was like 1 out of 33. Hashimoto: When was that one time!? (lol) Igari: The last one with the cockroach. That one where Mizuki-kun freaked out got the laughs. Sakuma: Yeah, that one had the audience rolling. Hashimoto: So, the other ones where all fails? (lol) Inoue: They were all winners to Senga-kun so we good.

Who is the MVP of 2018? Hashimoto: Everyone! Everyone was amazing! Everyone: Yaaay! (high fives) Takahashi: So, how about we go clockwise (around the table) and say one amazing thing about each person. Up first, Mizuki-kun. Your solo performance of “Think u x.” was perfectly done and amazing ne. Inoue: Amazing ne. So next up is “ne”? Takahashi: We’re not playing shiritori here! (lol) Inoue: (Ignores Takahashi) Ne… Ne-oki ga ikemen (The person who looks most handsome right out of bed), Hashimochan! N? Hashimoto: You ended the shiritori game! (lol). Well, whatever. Gari-san’s rap is the best. Igari: Saku-chan got taller! Sakuma: That’s what you’re commenting on!? Takahashi: This veered off real quick (lol). Igari: No, I’m serious. His height really accentuates his dancing. Sakuma: Hehehe (happy). So, last one is Yuto. 2018 brought us all together. We’re an immature bunch, and if Yuto wasn’t here… Hashimoto: If he wasn’t here, we’d be killing it. Inoue: Yes, this is work after all. Takahashi: Hey!! (lol) Igari: Anyway, but really, we have a lot of fun because Yuto is here with us. And so, I hope 2019 also treats us well!

- - - - - - - - - -

Top Recs of 2018! J Concerts & Stage Shows

Hashimoto: Kis-My-Ft2’s concert at MetLife Dome had so many fireworks—they way they went off was insanely intense.

Inoue: Johnny’s Jr. Matsuri. I was impressed by SixTONES’ remix medley of their original songs. So invigorating.

Takahashi: At Johnny’s Jr. Matsuri, the way all the groups had their own ways of engaging the audience—from dancing, band instruments, etc.—gave me goosebumps.

Igari: Kisumai’s concert. The huge venue was something I hadn’t seem before, and I was envious. I bet roller skating on the huge stage would be really fun!

Sakuma: Natsu Matsuri! Hadaka no Shōnen (Sexy Bishōnen’s show). The day I saw it was Taisho’s birthday. They celebrated it together with the fans during MC, and it was a lot of fun.

[wonderhevrts]

Daz Games sentence meme !

Daz plays Until Dawn #1

Collected the best bits of Daz Black playing Until Dawn -game. On the first part are sentences from #1-#5. More sentences under Read More. Feel free to change the pronouns !

click here for #2 !!

"If that is the case, then we should really eliminate all butterflies."

"Oh Jesus Christ i'm gonna get everyone killed."

"Cabin in the woods type of deal.."

"I like hot girls in cabins."

"Oh man, what a slimeball."

"Oh man, bitch alone in the woods.."

"I wouldn't actually be out here! I'd be at home! With a cup of tea!"

"Oooh a reindeer!"

"Holy shitballs and deers!"

"Don't say hello. Stop it. You don't want an answer."

"For Christ sake bitch, i'm wearing my new Yeti boots and you are really pissing me off!"

"No you're not, you just.. You just wanted the D."

"Oh, you lost your phone. What's gonna happen to your Twitter account now?"

"Are they dead? Yeah, they're pretty fucking dead."

"What a bad start.. I'm a monster!"

"You're gonna ruin your fancy-as-shit jacket, bitch!"

"Oh my god, you did not listen to me!"

"Don't have time to be feeding squirrels."

"That is really really odd, i'm not even joking. Haha, and i've been to several strip-bars this week."

"____, I'm gonna throw you off the cliff!"

"Yeah, it's his penis."

"We're gonna shoot some shit? I can do this! Right?"

"Catch some zzz's brah!"

"Bra-strap effect!"

"____! You're dead first, if i get the choice!"

"I'm still gonna punch you."

"AAAAHH! Why!? Such a dick!!"

"Nail his arse!"

"Hahahaa! Having so much fun before we all die!"

"Hah! You ain't getting any of this booty!"

"We know what's going on! We know he was just out there caressing his ex!"

"You dick.."

"I'm gonna be nervous if you keep smacking the table like that."

"You creep me out."

"I'm not coming out with you on a Friday then."

"I'm not paying you next time. I hope you know that."

"No you know what, screw it. I'm gonna ask her out. No no no, not now. Later, later."

"Oh god, why do we gotta walk so slow?"

"That's a bit worrying.. I mean i'd take one look at that and i'd be gone."

"Ready for senior prom.. No, they weren't. They perished."

"Ooohh-whee.. I thought that was a person.." *nervous laughter*

"I completely wasted time, coming down here!"

"Is that jacuzzi-tub?? I'm so getting in there!"

"Oh yeah, he saw the two hugging. Shit's gonna go down."

"I'd dump her, there and then!"

"Oh yeah, selfies!"

"God, everything with these guys is just about sex, isn't it.. It's never about anything else."

"Just keep the torch on the booty."

"Uhh, totally bitch. That's where we're going. You think i'd be out here for any other reason? Oh my god.."

"Did that happen in the shed?? Fuck that, i'm not going in there!"

"Fuck me, sideways, now.."

"Well, your music taste sucks, that's one thing."

"Where is this cabin? Who built it out here? Are they stupid?"

"Fucking CHINA heard that!"

"Could've gone back to the other cabin but noooo.. No, now we're in a mine."

"I didn't do that deliberately, i swear!"

"Four times now, we've nearly died."

"Why are we out here? Why are they putting us all the way out here?"

"This is so unfair. If my friends did this to me, i'd beat the shit out of them."

"Man these two need to relax and have a cold shower."

"A fucking owl in my ear!!"

"Shitballs! Shitballs!"

"I once saw my dad fix a pipe. So i can fix a pipe. I'm super plumber blonde lady!"

"Whenever you're in a cabin, it doesn't matter what noise it is, it's always the killer!"

"Yeah great, thanks. I really need company going into the basement of the big spooky house with no power and the killer outside."

"Oh yes. All this for a bath."

"I've never ever had this tense feeling from holding a torch before!"

"That was not funny! That scared the shit out of me!"

"Can we please just get to the cabin, that apparently, is the same distance that Frodo walked to Mordor!?"

"Don't make me feel bad, you shit."

"I'm obviously not paying you enough, if that's how you decorate your office."

"There's a meat hook by your window, sir. And your curtains are shredded."

"We're doing an Ouija board??"

"She just screamed, did you wanna hurry??"

"Take your time. Probably only being murdered.."

"I don't understand, why is there a mask just floating in the air in there?"

"____, when i find you, i'm gonna FUCKING MURDER YOUR FACE!!"

"So funny, love. Haha. You're dumped."

"We've been walking for what seems like a day!"

"No, don't antagonize it!"

"Why are all the deers arseholes??"

"I mean i love my friends and all, but i'm not out here to do this."

"I'm starting to think that there really is not-- Wait a minute, that looks like a cabin."

"That's not a fucking cabin, that's a shed!! It's got holes in it!"

"Well. I give it precisely an hour tops, before someone pulls my pants down and does stuff against my will."

"No, lets scare her, that bitch. She deserves it for what she did to me."

"Meathooks! Hanging from the ceiling! That means i'm going this way! Bye!"

"I'm gonna find a deer, in real life and i'm gonna punch it in the THROAT!"

"What is it with the deer out here!? No wonder people shoot them!"

"Serves you right for being a DICK!"

"Comfort it?? It's got half of it's neck missing!"

"There there, it's okay deer, it's fine. You're gonna die, but it's fine."

"They said that in the Jurassic Park about the Raptors."

"I'll sit on your head!"

"I just like, feel like they don't fully understand what just happened. He just pulled a deer's head off.. And they're fine!"

"What now? Should we go down to the fucking Levi's store and get you some new jeans?"

"Get a log, stick it in. This is log simulator."

"We're gonna strike the match. AH! Nothing more satisfying than that in life, am i right?"

"Am i that ugly? Thanks!"

"Hey. You want the D, not me."

"Apparently all i can do is show that i have marvelous wrist movement.."

"Alright yeah! I'm on for the blanket! I'll knit you one right now if it'll make you happy."

"Wha-- What am i doing? What am i doing with my head? Have i got a condition!?"

"Love.. I swear to God. Shut up."

"There's the map to Mordor, where we just fucking walked.."

"You say blankets one more time, i'm gonna make a blanket out of your scalp! Shut up!"

"Why don't you fucking do it!?"

"Don't give me the option to pick up the gun, it's the first thing i'd fucking do!"

"Oh my god, it's her phone.. And it's playing Macy Gray.."

"You don't want to know why it came from the window by itself."

"Don't-- Don't go out there. I'm not coming out there after you!"

"Oh my god! She got sucked through a window!"

"Your friend who got sent out in the middle of Mordor, she got sucked out of a window."

"We need a Scooby Doo, is what we need."

"I mean is no one paying attention to how the fucking doors open by themselves in this place!?"

"You don't fire me, i quit!"

"Ow fuck! Ow! Why am i using my head!?"

"What the fuck does Slipknot want with me!?"

"I don't know who that is, but i call him Slipknot apparently!"

"Oh he's bought a.. A scarecrow! And served me.. What looks like a dead cat."

"Starting to think if the therapist, is the one who needs the therapy."

"I don't like ____, she's a bitch.."

"Hah! He knows! He's in my fucking head."

"You know what, i'm thinking about going with another therapist, who doesn't have a naked scarecrow in their room.. If that's cool?"

"___ got pulled through a door, didn't she.. And Slipknot attacked us!"

"I don't think shouting for ____ is working, just wanna point that out."

"Get your lantern, that's it boy. Gun is probably more important.."

"That's it take your time, please.. Girlfriend's not being killed or anything, that's fine.."

"She wasn't the brightest tool in the kit, but she was fit!"

"Circle! Triangle! Square! Circle! Shouting them helps, i'm sorry."

"Okay jump. Jump jump jump, just jump. Just jump!"

"Come on, what's next? I can take it! AAAHH!!"

"___ is just such a beast! He's in a beast-mode right now!!"

"Oh yeah, lets just do it with our bare hands. I like your style, ____."

"You might wanna grab some wood or something to bash the shit out of him."

"Oh, now he's got away. Because you forgot to load the gun, ____!"

"Fuck, ____ is dead, i can't believe it.. And i've got a tank top on in the middle of a blizzard."

"Slipknot didn't kill ____. Does he just like girls or something?"

"Either someone spilled ketchup, or that's ____'s head-juice."

"What the fuck's this? AAAAAHH!!"

"How is that a clue? It's a pig's head! In the middle of the woods!"

"I love walking through the woods. This is like a walking through the woods simulator!"

"Stop shouting! Stop it! He's only gonna hear you!"

"It's a Jigsaw-shit!!"

"Please give me the option to do nothing! I can't choose this shit!"

"Oh man, this is so mean!"

"I don't think he's okay, he's all over your jacket!"

"Oh for fuck's sake.. Who the fuck is that!?"

"Fuck you. You're the worst therapist ever!"

"I hope you fall out the window. Which shouldn't be hard, because you've done very good job at barring it up."

"You don't exist, because this room is changing."

"Oh fuck, here we go."

"Sanatorium? I'm going in there?? Fuck's sake.."

"Really don't like wolves. Really would not like to get eaten by wolves!"

"Careful now, ____.. Wouldn't wanna fall like ____."

"If she's alive, that's very very mysterious."

"I don't know, i'm starting to question everything! My therapist isn't real!"

"Shut up! Bloody howling at the moon.. What's the matter with you?"

"Okay we're going in. Probably won't be able to go in through-- Oh! I was wrong."

"No, it's locked. Yeah, i get it. I get what 'locked' means."

"Morgue?? Why not. Why the fuck not."

"Let's go to the morgue! I'm sure nothing bad happens down here!"

"Now we've got a weapon, we can fuck him up with it and his dogs."

"I'm making hotdogs tonight! Hahaha!"

"Aah you know what they say; See a big wolf shadow, go the other way! That's the old saying right?"

"Hey Skeletor! See ya later!"

"So i think i'm looking for a pass.. Or a hand? That's a fucking hand."

"Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off! Oh my god! Oh my god!"

"I'm not cutting my fucking fingers off!"

"Oh they're gonna fucking make me do it, i'm gonna have to cut my fingers off!"

"Why did i touch it? Why?? This is why we can't have nice things!"

"You just cut your fingers off and you're making jokes!"

"There's my fingers. I'm just going to leave you there guys.. Sorry fingers. I wish i could've taken you with me, still attached."

"Fucking rats crawled out of him/her!"

"Welp! My job is done here. Minus two fingers, so i'm gonna go."

"Now i'm gonna fight him.. With two less fingers and i'm probably bleeding to death."

"____, what are you doing, mate? Come on, i know you're losing a lot of blood, but lets try to stay on topic here."

"Psycho crib.. We're on MTV's psycho cribs!"

"So what have i got in mah fridge? Haha, let me tell you son! I got a head of my wife! Haha! That's what it is! And a few dead guinea pigs!"

"Here boy! Here boy! I've got you my partner's knee bone! You want a knee bone? Who wants a knee bone?"

"Apparently i'm the fucking dog-whisperer.."

"Well, you know what they say! .... I actually don't know what they say."

"Is it loaded? Check if it's loaded you fucking idiot!"

"Well now we know it's loaded, and whoever is still in the building fucking heard that!"

"I've lost a lot of blood, right? I cut my own fingers off, it's been a very stressful day."

"Serial killer guy doesn't really know how to pick where to live.."

"Oh shit! Slipknot's watching us!"

"Damn you Slipknot."

"Oh yeah! We are a lumberjack!"

"These guys are Captain Obvious."

"How about rule number 3, suck my arse? Did you forget that rule?"

"If you fall.. Not gonna lie.. Wouldn't care that much."

"It's fine. Take your time. Don't slip. Break your neck.. Would hate to not have to listen to your wingy fucking voice anymore.."

"Yeah, i'm coming.. Just like, tempted to push you off the ledge though."

"Holy cannoli? Who says that anymore??"

"You're dumped! Holy cannoli!"

"What are the odds that one of these boards are gonna snap?"

"I keep trying to predict what happens and then it doesn't happen and then i feel silly."

"What in seven shades of shit.."

"Just slap it, it's a deer!"

"Yeah bitch, a lot's been happening whilst you've been bathing."

"Oh, we're nakey! I like this game now. Those are some amazing pixels."

"Hopefully there's not a mechanic to pull the towel off.. Am i right??"

"Hide, hide! That was probably a fucking stupid choice!"

"Ohh Slipknot's gonna see me, it's so obvious where i am!"