#self rb but i miss them so bad

[historicity-was-already-taken]

Welcome New Followers Post xiv

gonna make this bullet points of Things to Know because deadlines, but hi! welcome!

-this is not a jewish identity or a jumblr blog. i am a jewish person and a holocaust historian, so my content often overlaps with those realms of tumblr

-this is first and foremost a public history blog. public history and public historians do history for the public. we're passionate about transmitting complex historical topics from the academe to the people, and we're in constant (one-sided lmao) conversation with entities such as: film writers and producers, textbook writers, government bodies, journalists, etc regarding the construction of public memory, and the responsibilities that entails

-you don't have to ask if something is ok to reblog. I appreciate the thought, but unless I turn off reblogs or specifically ask people not to engage in certain ways, you're fine, that said:

-I do see and read all tags, replies, and rbs. I consider them public, and I often respond to them as new posts. If you want to engage with me and don't want others to see, then send me an ask which includes the words "please respond privately"

-You can should disagree with me and tell me when you think I'm wrong! Now, I won't lie, years of existing as a young-appearing hyper feminine (i like skirts and bows and sparkly shoes it is what it is) female, Jewish historian have made me defensive and bitey af, and I often misread neutral tones as "coming for me" tones and respond in kind. I apologize for when/if that happens to you, and I assure that, once I realize you're not coming at me in bad faith, I will feel horribly guilty.

-There is a learning curve here. I don't have any desire to gatekeep my blog (it's the opposite tbh), but I do use high level terms which can have multiple meanings in different contexts. I actively try to avoid using impenetrable academic jargon in this space, but sometimes that jargon is the only appropriate phrasing available. In those cases, I urge you to do some research and poke around and then, if you still don't understand what I mean, DM me.

-I am a white, American woman. I am actively anti-racist, and anti-bigotry in general, but there will be times when I do or say something clueless or privileged. If you see that and you have the energy, please tell me! I want this blog to be a welcome place for all,* and I appreciate call-outs as an opportunity for (un)learning.

-Building on that, this is an anti-bigotry space which I'd like people of all demographics and identities to feel comfortable engaging with.* That said, I don't play nice when some random corner of tumblr rolls up in here and barfs their shit all over my posts.

-I am a cringe millennial. I started this blog in 2011, when I was 21, had just finished college, before I'd heard back from any graduate schools, and before I had much resembling a career. I am currently 34. It's fine. But a lot of you are in your teens and 20s and are just starting on your careers, so like, please don't negatively compare yourselves to me or get self-deprecating when/if you want to contact me. We all learn and achieve at different paces and that's ok.

-My book, The Girl Bandits of the Warsaw Ghetto, will be released in Fall 2025. Trust me I will be screaming from the rooftops and you will not miss the announcements lmao.

-If I don't reply to an ask or a DM, it's not because I hate you. There are 800 reasons why I may not reply, and none of them are personal.

and finally

-I am not your Good Leftist Anti-Zionist Jew. I am not here as a rhetorical cudgel for left-wing anti-Semites who seek out Jews with politics similar to mine to then use as a weapon against other Jewish folks. Don't fucking do it.

*That does not mean that everything I post here will make you feel comfortable. History isn't supposed to make you feel comfortable. Sometimes, it can and should make you feel actively uncomfortable, because that discomfort/cognitive dissonance means you're learning (keep your cognitive dissonance temper tantrums tf away from me, tho). It does mean that I, as an individual, want you all to feel that this is a space where you are welcome to learn and ask questions.

i tried to use bullet points to keep this short, and i failed miserably. on brand.

[hyuckbeam]

the ups and downs

all your life was spent earning recognition from others. hell, your past relationships ended badly because they couldn’t truly see you for yourself. knowing you’ll never be good enough is something you’ve grown so accustomed to, so why does it feel so nice when he tells you how proud he is of you?

pairing | archi student!renjun x archi student!reader

genre | fluff, angst, college au

warnings + notes | mentions of bad traumas/experiences, parent negligence, some bits of swearing, reader uses she/her pronouns, bff!chaewon, a lot of self-conflict, please lmk if i missed anything!

wc | 5.3k words

a/n | the first installation to the third time’s the charm (tttc) universe, yay! it took a little while to churn this one out because of school but i hope the wait wasn’t too long ;0; *punches school* as always,, likes, rbs, and feedback are appreciated <3 thank you!!

song recs | raise y_our glass - huh yunjin, hug - suggi, walk you home - nct dream

tttc m.list, main m.list

“mommy, look what i got!” your tiny feet carried you to where your mother was, a marked test paper in hand. “see, see? the pretty miss from school gave me an A on my exam!”

your teacher told you to study well because your parents would be really happy if you did your best on the upcoming exam. your younger self believed her and studied with the goal of making your parents proud. however, instead of any praises like your teacher had told you, all you heard was “later, dear. i’m busy. mommy is taking an important call and you’re being distracting.” in a whisper-yell manner that held not one ounce of warmth in it.

you were distracting. you were just a distraction in her life.

stunned was one way to describe how you felt. you were just a measly six-year-old kid at the time, but you could clearly tell your mother had no time for you, much less your father who was rarely home. they had no time to entertain you. they had no time to be proud of you. they needed to do grown-up things that didn’t involve you.

that was probably the first time you realized you were all alone. your parents would constantly be buried in work, and you didn’t have siblings to play with. you didn’t even have many (re: none) friends because you were always shy at school. none of the other kids wanted to approach you first either because their parents warded them off, saying how you came from a rich family and that you might punish them for doing the slightest bit of wrong — which was never the truth. you weren’t anything like that, but that’s how they assumed you to be. what was the point of being rich when your own parents didn’t even seem like family? deep down inside, all you wanted was to be appreciated for being yourself, but right now, you felt like a void had formed within you.

as you grew older, you still unconsciously wanted to gain recognition from others, even picking a course that you thought your parents would prefer. side note: they didn’t really care as much as you thought they would. you had also gained a few friends, but they were always at arm's length because your trust in others decreased significantly over the years.

how could anyone blame you though? you’ve had so many experiences where people came up to you wanting to be friends but actually wanted to get close to you for money. there were even some claiming they harbored romantic feelings for you, and yet, those were all lies to use you for their own gain. you were simply exhausted from being dragged around like a little doll people could put on up their display shelves.

you didn’t even see the point of making friends. you just did so because the school guidance counselor expressed her worries for you. a means to an end, you suppose. there was, however, an exception; that being kim chaewon.

she had introduced herself to you back when you were both classmates in middle school and practically attached you both at the hip since then — you didn’t mind though, in fact, you enjoyed it more than you’d ever like to admit. her company made you feel human. she was there when you first discovered your love for art, she was there to share lunches with at break time when you were all alone, she was there to wipe your tears when your emotions would burst after being bottled in for so long, she was there when no one else was, and you couldn’t be more thankful for her.

it was by chance your parents actually agreed for you to move into a dorm with her for college. you wondered if they would accept chaewon as your friend, but it seems that they already did – granted they allowed you to do this in the first place. they probably had to do a background check on her to make sure she wouldn’t ‘ruin their reputations’, but you’ll let their actions slide for now.

“y/n! you have your first class tomorrow, right?” chaewon pops up from your shoulder as you work on fixing your class schedule by the counter near the kitchen, catching you a little off guard.

“hm- oh, yeah. you’re starting later in the day, aren’t you? sucks to be you.” you tease lightly, watching as your friend’s face contorts to a frown.

“god, don’t remind me. why did they have to make ours a day ahead?” listening to her groans, you can’t help but chuckle to yourself. “we’ll all be starting the new semester eventually anyways!”

“yeah, yeah. still wished i had more minutes of freedom though.” her shoulders slump for a moment. “at least the first days are exciting. it’s nice being able to meet new classmates.”

chaewon was always known for being a social butterfly, but you were in no way similar. “speak for yourself! i already feel jittery from the fact we don’t share any classes at all.” you feign a shiver, pursing your lips into a thin line.

“you’ll be fine. you’re my best friend after all!” with a pat on the back, chaewon makes sure to flash you a reassuring smile knowing it helps your nerves calm down.

“yeah, i know i will be. i’m just worried for… you know… being outcasted by others again.” you bring up, voice getting quieter after every word. this instinctively prompts your best friend to reach out for a hug. “that won’t happen, hm? tell me if it does, i’ll absolutely ditch class for-”

“what, no! go attend class, silly.” a giggle manages to escape your throat, and chaewon smiles at being able to successfully lift your mood up. “can’t believe you’re getting rid of me already!!” she whines with a pout before bursting into a fit of laughter.

notebooks? check. pencils and pens? check. phone? also check- “hey, y/n! are you almost ready? we’re walking to campus together, right?” chaewon beams as she barges into your room bright and early in the morning.

with a yawn, you blink off your drowsiness, stuffing your back with your stationery. “yeah, let me just pack my bag and we can go, okay?”

“alright! i also made you some breakfast you can eat while we walk.” she reminds you before stepping out to fix her own things one last time.

despite being reassured by chaewon yesterday, you can’t help but notice that unsettling feeling crawl the back of your neck. you were still worried about class, but you didn’t have time to dwell on it now. you had a class to get to on time and you were going to be late if you stayed home any longer. walking out of your room to the kitchen, you grab the breakfast your friend had made in advance. “okay, chae! let’s get going. i don’t want to be late!”

you sling your bag over your shoulder, chaewon mirroring your actions as you both quickly head out of your shared dorm. checking your phone for the time, you realize you have around ten minutes before classes start for the both of you. “chae… we need to go- like now, now!!” you urge her to pick up the pace and start running – mentally thanking the fact your dorm is located near campus.

“we really need to work on our time management, huh?” she replies, words coming out breathlessly from the both of you running against the clock (literally and figuratively).

“no kidding, i’ll see you after class, okay?” you pant out, just as tired as she is. “yep! good luck, you got this!” chaewon hastily makes two thumbs-ups before leaving to catch her own class. now you just had to run to your building and- ouch! why does your head suddenly hurt?

rubbing your forehead to ease the impact, you look up to find a boy, who seems to be just as frazzled as you, staring down at your figure. “sorry, i wasn’t looking where i was going.” he apologizes sheepishly, offering a hand out for you to pick yourself back up with. “it’s okay i wasn’t paying attention either-” you finally get a good look at him. jet black hair, kind eyes that sparkle in the sun, a slight flush in his face (presumably from this entire mishap with you), and the prettiest lips that make you want to kiss- no, what were you doing? you just met him, and worse… “I’M GOING TO BE LATE!” you exclaim abruptly once gathering your thoughts. it seems you’ve even shocked him as he flinches a little. you quickly apologize, gathering your things as fast as you can before scurrying off, leaving without him being able to utter a single word back.

finally settling down in the front row of the class, your mind couldn’t help but wander back to the boy you bumped into earlier while waiting for the professor to arrive. you weren’t late, but god, that was seriously embarrassing… maybe you should’ve paid more attention to your surroundings.

or rather, you should start applying that insight right now because why is the same boy in your class asking if the seat next to you is already taken or not? maybe you’re just hallucinating and it’s a different guy- “excuse me? i hope you aren’t still shocked from earlier.”

nope, he was definitely the same guy from a while ago.

“sorry, i just… wasn’t expecting you to be in the same class. the seat is free by the way.” you finally answer back in a swift, yet awkward motion before taking out a small notebook from your bag to pretend like you’re busy. it seems like he takes your reply as a green light, placing his bag beside yours and taking his seat.

the silence continues on for the rest of the class, ultimately making you want to curl up in a hole and hide forever. at this point, you’re even considering dropping the class and taking it next semester to avoid experiencing this again. to your luck, you manage to finish the class without combusting on the outside, already preparing your things to leave, but the sweet tone of his voice makes you halt for a moment.

“sorry, i know we got on the wrong foot, but i’d really like to get to know you more.” he confesses with a calm smile. though the sight would make anyone melt for his charms, at this moment, he was the epitome of what you were afraid of. what if he wants to be friends to manipulate you? what if he wants to use you for money like all the others? so many thoughts started to go through your mind, it was starting to get overwhelming. it seems he senses this too, taking a small step back to give you some space.

“i understand if you don’t want to be friends, but how about i just get you coffee sometime for bumping into you as an apology? it can be a one-time thing.” he proposes, holding onto high hopes. taking a deep breath, you nod along in agreement despite your worries. it’s not like you wanted to assume his reasons for approaching you – you just couldn’t help doing so. either way, you knew judging the poor boy on the spot (or anyone for that matter) wasn’t that great, so you did what anyone else would.

“okay. when are you taking me out for coffee then?”

his eyes light up from your verbal agreement. “i think you should know my name first.” he starts with a chuckle. “it’s renjun- don’t forget it, alright? as for the details of grabbing coffee together…”

you were a little surprised renjun had arranged the set coffee meet-up to be just a few days later. perhaps he really was that eager to make it up to you, even when you were partially to blame for what happened back then. he didn’t seem to mind at all though – going as far as to remind you every now and then that he was going to treat you to coffee.

both of you were to meet at the campus coffee shop, and you were preparing your bag for the short trip with plans to study while talking to renjun (and using the fact you’re studying as an excuse if the situation starts getting difficult for you). “oooh, it’s just the first week since classes resumed and you’re already being asked out on a date?” chaewon singsongs from the living room.

“pfft, it’s nothing like that. he just says he owes me or something… i don’t really understand his reasoning considering we both bumped into each other.”

“you should just take the opportunity, my baby y/n.” your best friend coos. “who knows, maybe you’ll both have more in common with each other aside from, erm, being clumsy… then you’ll start developing feelings for the boy-”

“alright, i think you’re getting ahead of yourself now.” tutting back lightly, you wiggle your finger in the air before grabbing your keys and taking a step outside your dorm. “i’ll be back before dinner! don’t wait up if you get too hungry before then.” you add before closing the door behind you.

it takes a few minutes from your dorm to the coffee shop, but you manage to arrive on time, even spotting renjun occupying one of the tables next to the windows, seeming to be working on his laptop. “someone’s early.” you point out with a soft voice once approaching his table, offering him a brief wave right after. “hope i didn’t keep you waiting?”

renjun shakes his head, gesturing for you to take the seat in front of him. “like you said, i came pretty early, but i’m quite used to staying here during my free time. my friend actually works part-time here and drags me along with him.” he explains, nudging his head over towards the counter where you see a familiar face, lee jeno. chaewon had introduced you guys to each other before so you aren’t exactly strangers.

“oh, you’re friends with him?” you gasp a little, finding the world to be quite smaller than you thought. the two of you easily slip into a conversation because of this, and the plans you made earlier to study and avoid conversation as much as possible had now been thrown out the window.

you got to learn much about renjun despite only having a proper conversation today. he’s apparently in the same course as you (which explains why the both of you will be sharing more classes together), he often goes to his cousin’s dorm to play with their cat, and loves hotpot more than anything, even claiming he’s a connoisseur of that field – his words, not yours. you can’t help but find the little things about him endearing, and for once, you’ve let your guard down entirely in front of a person you had only met a few days prior. maybe it's the fact he’s so easy to talk to, maybe it's the glint in his eyes that shows his interest in what you have to share about yourself, or maybe it's the way he laughs at your jokes despite you thinking they weren’t that funny to get that big of a reaction out of him. time had passed by quickly with him as your company, however, you don’t seem to register that until he brings the time up.

“it’s getting a little late. come on, i’ll walk you back to your dorm.” he insists after checking his watch, now packing his things and getting ready to leave. though you didn’t want to bother him, there didn’t seem to be any room for you to protest otherwise, so instead, you let him accompany you home.

this is the first time someone has actually offered to walk you home. not even the people you had a relationship with (if you can even call it that) in the past ever proposed to do that for you. you’d be lying if renjun’s actions didn't send a fluttery feeling to your stomach like how those teen-vogue magazines would describe the feeling to be like. you remember it stating that specific sensation was what you’d feel once you start developing feelings-

oh, perhaps chaewon was right earlier. you might just fall for huang renjun.

you and renjun have gotten a lot closer ever since he took you out for coffee — hell, he’s even well acquainted with chaewon now — and he’s been plaguing your mind more than ever. though, you’re more conflicted than anything.

a part of you wants to let yourself fall for him. i mean, who wouldn’t want to be with a guy like renjun? sure, he may have some anger issues (your experiences watching him and jeno banter by the counter of the coffee shop can vouch for this), but he’s also the sweetest guy you’ve ever got to meet.

just as you’re about to consider accepting your feelings for the boy, there’s the other part of you that wants to keep yourself guarded. you know he’s different from the people you’ve met in the past, so why do you still get the suspicion he’s simply using you for his personal gain? mayhaps, you’re just sinking in your thoughts a little too much, but you can’t seem to shake it off your system.

it’s frustrating. you shouldn’t be thinking this way about a friend of yours. how would renjun feel if he knew you had pondered on the idea of him being a backstabber? surely, he would be offended by that, so you brush those invasive thoughts away. after all, you were to meet him in a little bit for your regular study sessions for the upcoming final exams.

exams always left a bitter taste in your mouth, recalling how it was for you growing up. studying with renjun made exam season just a tiny bit more bearable after he suggested you both should study together so you could help each other out. he’s always had your best interests in mind, another reason why you had come to like him so much- gosh, your thoughts were such a mess today that you wanted to scream out a window.

with a heavy heart, you start making your way to the ever-so-familiar campus coffee shop. as soon as you enter, you spot renjun, eyes already landing on your figure like he had been searching for you moments prior. had he been anticipating your arrival that eagerly? the worrisome thoughts you’ve been harboring have simply washed away as your heart felt like it was running a marathon by how fast it was beating. all you could think about was the blush you felt creeping up your cheeks once you noticed he was staring- staring at you.

“you’re finally here! i got your favorite matcha latte, it’s still pretty cold.” he quickly announces with a smile that’s never failed to make you feel better.

“thanks! i really owe you one, you know?” you chuckle at your own words, walking over to take the seat next to his. while you begin setting down your things on the table, your fingers accidentally brush against his, and yet, neither of you seems to want to pull away from the other. he links his pinky with yours instead, confirming your assumption even more.

was this normal for the two of you? not one bit.

did you wish it was? a million times, yes.

maybe you needed to get your head straight and actually start studying for your exams.

the last week of exams was certainly hell. you’ve never felt this drained in so long — the last time you could recall would probably be back in junior high. though, this time seems to be much worse since you couldn’t understand the number of times your mind went blank during the tests. was your scatterbrain due to the thought of your study “dates” with renjun? you’d like to blame it on those, yes.

results would be posted any hour now for your batch, and that kept your nerves high to quite an extent over the weekend. so much for finally getting to relax, huh? either way, you were glad that all of your finals have finally ended, but now you had to wait a few more days for chaewon to finish hers. she was still pretty swamped with requirements the last time you saw her at your dorm. there is, however, someone you know who just finished his exams in the previous week: renjun. you guys did have the same classes after all. maybe the day you would finally buy him a cup of coffee and make the playing field even between you two has finally arrived.

dialing his phone, you quickly called him up to meet at your regular spot and set out yourself. it’s a good thing you made it to the coffee shop before him this time (you still remember the last time he was earlier and that sent your brain haywire). you see jeno today as well in his spot behind the counter, making sure to greet him as you order drinks for yourself and renjun.

“oh? you’re buying him coffee this time?” jeno questions with an amused look, almost like he’s watching a k-drama he’s so invested in. “thought i’d repay him for all the free drinks i got.” you answer with a simple chuckle.

“he’s definitely going to enjoy this.” the barista adds in a cheeky mutter before preparing the drinks.

it doesn’t take long for renjun to arrive despite your short notice, entering the coffee shop 10 minutes after you did. renjun quickly noticed the mocha frappuccino you ordered for him in advance and was about to speak against it until you rebutted with the fact it had already been made and paid for. it’s a good thing jeno prepares coffee fast, or else you might’ve had a conversation about who’s paying for who’s drinks.

“i really don’t mind paying for your drinks in the first place!” renjun replies before spinning his drink with a pout.

“i sure as hell don’t mind paying for yours either! won’t you just consider this as me making it even with you-” the ping of both renjun’s and your phone has you pausing mid-sentence so abruptly, pulling your device out to see the notification that your grades have been released.

“you’re kidding, right when i was going to enjoy my drink?” you grumble lightly before taking a deep breath. you weren’t usually so scared for your test results, but after your mind went elsewhere during exam season, you couldn’t help but feel a tinge of anxiety.

a hand rests gently atop your shoulder, making you peer your gaze towards renjun. “you’ll do fine. we prepared for the exams for a pretty long time, so i know your efforts will turn out to be fruitful.”

his reassurance was all you needed to muster the confidence to check your scores. biting your bottom lip, you open the email with your scores listed down, scrolling through it slowly as you read the contents. your eyes soon land on your grade and it’s actually higher than you thought it would be – it felt like a miracle was bestowed upon you and you couldn’t help but grin from ear to ear. “renjun i did it!” you exclaim, raising your hands in the air.

“see, what did i tell you? i’m so proud of you!” his words make your heart swell with so much joy. he just said he was proud of you. he’s genuinely thrilled about your accomplishment. his sentiments make you think you could cry right about now.

you’re too caught up in his sincerity, not realizing the two of you are inches apart. one small movement from either of you would be all it took for your lips to be smashed on his.

what if you wanted to make that move? what if you wanted to kiss him? what if… he doesn’t want that?

the same thoughts are probably running through his head as neither of you take initiative, silently staring at each other like your eyes hold everything you’ve been meaning to tell him. it appears as if he realized you weren’t ready for any advances, now taking a step back and clearing his throat – failing to hide the blush that rose to the tip of his ears.

how cute. that familiar feeling of butterflies had erupted once more, however, there was now another emotion that lingered – fear. and that’s when it hit you; you were scared.

what were you even scared of exactly? to be honest, you didn’t even understand yourself enough to give a straight answer.

maybe it was the fact that your relationship had never really been unstable at any point. the fact that it was going so well with him was what made you scared. what if everything would easily come crashing down and you’d never be able to talk to him again? you didn’t want to mess that up, no way. because of that notion, it felt like you were walking on thin ice, wanting to do all you could to keep up the good relationship you had with the boy.

you treasured him more than you’d like to admit.

there were also those negative thoughts you stored in the back of your mind, now resurfacing as you begin delving into them once more. most of those who tried to acquaint themselves with you ended up having a hidden agenda up their sleeve. you’d learn to shut those people off once having the impression they were up to no good, but you couldn't do that to renjun, not when you liked him so much.

it seems as though you had been sharing your thoughts aloud without noticing, with renjun being right next to you. shit, you messed up big time. not only did you confess you harbored feelings for him, but you voiced out your suspicions too. now he’s going to think you’re some kind of crazy-

“do i need an ulterior motive to love you?” renjun perks up from your claim, albeit a little shocked you’d assume that of him. your train of thought comes to a freeze, hearing him confront you about your concerns. wait, wait- let’s backtrack a little. did he just confess to liking, or rather loving, you too?

truthfully, that one sentence was all it took to leave you in a daze. you struggle for a moment to clear your mind, nodding your head as you anxiously reply. “most people have one when they do.” what were you even saying at this point? you didn’t really comprehend your own words either.

he takes a step forward. then one more, and another until he’s standing in front of you. his hand cups your cheek gently, radiating warmth — something you’ve grown to long for every time you weren’t in his presence. using his thumb to lightly swipe your bottom lip, he gets you to stop unconsciously nibbling on it from anxiety. “well, i’m not like most people. i’m in love with you, because it’s you.”

“because it’s me?” you mimic his words in a shaky sigh, “renjun, i don’t think you should be taking this on such a shallow level- i’m sure you… probably don’t like me that much. what’s there to like aside from my rich parents' money?”

“you’re kidding, right? why wouldn’t i like you when i’ve come to cherish every second we’re together because you always make my day brighter without even trying. even as we’re fighting right now, there’s still a part of me that’s happy because i can see you in front of me. this isn’t about money at all!”

“everyone values money one way or another, renjun! this isn’t just about the type of person i see you as.” you sputter out. you were still scared, scared to fall for someone who might actually like you, for you. his genuine love was unknown territory, and you didn’t know the first step on how to go about it.

“i won’t lie, money is valuable, but it’s not everything in life. there really are some things that money can’t buy.” he utters out slowly, wanting you to understand every word he speaks. “it certainly can’t buy you, no?”

you were left speechless because all renjun said was right. he knew the limits money had and understood that. money wasn’t everything, and it’ll never be able to buy someone’s true feelings. that was something you really needed to hear all your life. maybe you’d be less afraid to let people crash your walls down if you had come to terms with that earlier. maybe loving him would have been easier all this time.

“i- i’m sorry.” your words come out in a stutter, trying to hold yourself back from sobbing into his arms. “i’m sorry for thinking you were someone you weren’t. i just-”

“you don’t have to be sorry for anything. you had every right to question my intentions, okay? but from now on,” he starts, bringing his hands up to your already burning cheeks. “i’ll take care of you. i’ll make sure you know just how much you’re appreciated, not just by me, but by everyone around you too. i’ll make sure you know you’re loved.” his words flow out soothingly like a calm river, contrasting the harsh waves you had to deal with all your life.

“i’ll keep loving you for as long as you let me.” truly, at this moment, you know he feels like home, your home.

overwhelmed by emotion, you reach out for his embrace, and he extends his arms out wide as if it was first instinct. his arms that wrap around you radiate a comforting warmth, the hoodie he’s wearing smells a bit like his favorite mocha frappuccino, and his entire being has turned into something you were familiar to – you think you never want to go back to a life without him, and you don’t have to because he’s right here and he loves you.

looking up to get a glance at renjun, you see him being unable to contain his smile with the corners of his lips pulling up unconsciously. god, did you want to kiss his pretty lips. it all feels like dejavu – you were in the same predicament back then when you first met him except this time, you think you finally have the guts to act upon your thoughts.

just as you were about to lean in, you’re caught rather off guard by renjun beating you to it. you both always seem to have the same thoughts in mind as if you both understood each other without anything needing to be said. his lips slot perfectly against yours, and the tingly feeling has your stomach doing somersaults. eventually, you need to pull away for air, noticing how he was still chasing after your lips – yearning to lengthen the kiss.

“i was going to kiss you first, you know?” you bring up with flushed cheeks, reaching out to hug his chest because you were too shy to lock gazes.

renjun laughs softly at your confession, raising a hand to card his fingers through your hair. “i had a feeling you’d do that, so i went for it instead.”

“you really surprised me! i gathered up my courage and everything!” giggling at your own words, you finally felt complete.

as it turns out, those teen magazines weren’t phony at all. you just hadn’t met the right person back then, but that changed after you met renjun. emotions resemble a rollercoaster with all its ups and downs, however, you think you’ll continue the ride for as long as he’s with you.

taglist | @haeravlgs, @matchahyuck, @vantxx95, @ahnneyong, @lixxbr0wnie, @legbouk, @rocarecs

— lmk through an ask if you’d like to be added!

tags !!

[cody-paranatural]

I am afraid that Coby is setting himself up to be severely and devastatingly disappointed with his conclusions about his mom.

THAT BOY IS SETTING HIMSELF UP FOR SOOOOOO MUCH DISAPPOINTMENT <3 

I love Cody’s in-universe theory crafting So Much. I love how much he was able to piece together (he’s a clever little guy :] and a schemer. i say that with all the love in my heart btw) and also in the spirit of actual real life theory making how he completely missed the mark on some of his guesses. And it’s understandable!!!! It’s not like he knows his mom is a weird special werewolf that never changes back into a human. Because that’s straight up not how being a werewolf normally works and why would he assume his mom is an exception he doesn’t even know is possible. 

Something going wrong with Cody’s plan was pretty much inevitable the moment we found out about it, and I for one can’t wait to see how things turn out thanks to Cody’s several incorrect assumptions. And I LOVE how extremely confident he sounds about all of it. “The uncertainty was theater; he’d decided he was right.”; “Cody had no doubt in his deductions.”

Cody my boy, some doubt and uncertainty would do you good in the long run I think. It’s not very surprising though, since we see him make the exact same mistake before! Cody is a pretty capable 12 year old and he knows it, and that’s good! It’s good that he knows what his strengths are. The problem is that he gets so sure of himself that he ends up being overconfident and underestimating those around him. Like with hitball for example! 

Cody knows he’s good at this, he’s quite literally supernaturally good at sports. He’s so sure of his abilities that he told Hijeff that he has to go carry the team. And that overconfidence is how Dimitri, Max, RJ and Ollie got him in the end. Because if you look at Dimitri’s plan, how complicated that whole thing is, it becomes clear that Dimitri used Cody’s confidence against him. Like Dimitri was So Sure that Cody would easily dodge all the other throws (and he was right) and that Cody would get so caught up in the fact that he didn’t have much trouble with dodging them, including the one they made to look like their final one, that he would stop paying as much attention to his surroundings (and again. he was right). Which goes to show that this is a quite noticeable quality about Cody (though to be fair, Dimitri is very clever and seems to be quite good at picking up on these things (at least when he’s able to look at things somewhat objectively, Dimitri tends to let his feelings cloud his judgment.)). 

And that’s not even counting his thoughts “I’ll just slip through the cracks” and his little mind monologue from when he was about to get hit with the golden switch. It also ties into something else I really like about Cody, which is how similar he is to his dad and his absolute lack of self-reflection about any of it <3 Cody is obviously nowhere near as bad as Davy, but the similarities are there! And it makes sense since that’s just how kids work, they get influenced by the people around them. Like, Davy’s absolute trust in himself, his extreme confidence, those are things I’ve just discussed about Cody taken to their extremes. And the list goes on! Just look at Cody’s extreme protectiveness over his friends and his tendency to keep them in the dark. Or the fact that both Cody and Davy do the thing where they carefully control conversation in a way that lets them learn as much information as they can (we can see Davy do this on page 1 with Peter Puckett, and Cody mentions doing the same with LB and RB on page 47, Zack even used similar wording to describe what they did). Or their shared love for theatrics. I just find that so interesting and fun to think about! It’s great :] 

Also I am going to change the topic and talk about how EXCITED this update made me about future interactions between Jean and Cody. I had a mighty need to see these two interact ever since I subscribed to the “Shrike is Cody’s mom theory” and seeing that theory confirmed already made that excitement grow tenfold. But now? Now that we know that Shrike was faking her death for like 3-ish years (Zack confirmed on twitter that they were around the same age as in the first chapter 7 flashback, and based on Cody’s age I’m assuming that Jean, Rick and Mina were 13-ish when Shrike faked her death), and was watching him from the shadows. Now that we know that Jean was wrong in chapter 7 when he said “She would have come back for me, she would have!” (I love Paranatural mentor-mentee/parental figure-child relationships I love how adults never fail to let down the kids they’re supposed to be looking after I love how it all either stems from them prioritizing their own problems or pushing everyone away, thinking that keeping them in the dark is the best way to protect them I love how that secrecy just keeps causing problems for everybody. It's so good.), because she left, thinking she was doing the right thing. Like Jean thinks that the only reason she wasn’t with him is because she was stuck as a werewolf ever since whatever accident he was talking about in chapter 7. And we know that’s not true! And talking to Cody would make that Very Clear, since Cody more or less knows the date Shrike actually disappeared for good. Do you all see the vision. It’s gonna be GREAT.

[cepheusgalaxy]

Hello and welcome! Take a seat.

(Askbox is open, any questions go in. I may take a while to answer since I'm in full time highschool but yea 👍)

My name's Angel, but you can also call me Molly or Bug. My pronouns are fluid but they usually float around they/he/it in English, and ele/elu/dile in Portuguese. I am a cupioromantic asexual pal whose first language is not English (I'm Brazilian), so, sometimes y'all's language won't make sense to me.

Pride: (pride)

Things to do for Pride (my list)

Angel is not reblogging anything undescribed for Pride

Cool posts I did:

Oc intro post! <2 (new)

Whumpblr introdution

Taglist masterpost

My Febuwhump writing masterlist

"So, you wanna make them ace?" - a guide to writing ace characters

Image descriptions tutorials masterpost

Other important stuff:

The picrew I used for my pfp (there are no flags for the bg i think this one was edited in)

My #pronouns tag and #name tag!

How you can help Palestine

"I'm a minor and I want to help Palestine!"

Proteja sua arte de IA no Tumblr!/Protect your art from AI on Tumblr!

Angel's list of bad words (slurs, am I right)

(Wadda wadda important thing for my current wip)

What you'll mostly see here:

Whumpblr

Writeblr

Artblr

Reblogs about fandom stuff

Oc stuff

Queer

Disclaimers:

If you don't like whump, I advise you to block the tags "whump" and "whump prompts". All of my whump posts and reblogs are tagged with either one or another.

I have a lot of ocs! If you wanna meet them, you can meet them at oc intro masterpost or better yet, feel free to ask me about them

If I ever miss a trigger warning, please warn me!

You can also block 'vent', 'swearing', 'swearing in tags', 'undescribed', 'self rb', 'terfs' and 'hate tag'.

And if you ever see that I described a post of yours, feel free to add it to your post! You don't need to tag me.

Note:

I love love love receiving asks. I love ask games specifically. If you want to send an ask, feel free!

(Magic system ideas post)

[theresawritesstuff]

Does canon Midge love Lenny at all?

Depends on who you ask but personally I say yes, much more than she cares to admit, because it scares the hell out of her.

Looking at their interactions, the way she looks at him, especially from Miami onward, she's got it bad but doesn't know how to let herself accept what that would mean for them.

More thoughts including bits from season 5 under the cut.

So I think the biggest barrier in story for these two (meaning outside of ASP keeping RB in the dark for however long on things going romantic between the two and just general ASP being ASP...) is that Midge has been deeply deeply hurt in love and is afraid of opening herself up to that again. She's a perfectionist and has a very specific image of herself she likes to project to the world. And Lenny is one of the only people who actually sees her unfiltered self, outside of Susie. And in some ways understands her better than Susie because they're both artists of the same craft with a similar drive to speak their truths.

His opinion matters to her. He's been a champion for her success time and time again. And she let him down.

Midge isn't comfortable with being in the wrong and getting called out for it for that matter. It doesn't happen that often and for it to come from him really rattled her cage. Because he knows her. And knows she can be better.

I think the whole bit at the airport in 5x01 with her shutting him down about calling was ultimately her guarding against letting herself get hurt and trying to let him off the hook.

They hadn't committed themselves to each other or made any long-standing promises. They've always been ships in the night their entire friendship. So he didn't "owe it to her" to call (she's telling herself). And he's leaving and doesn't know when/if he'll be back. So for her to acknowledge that it meant something to both of them, that she might have wanted him to call, only opens herself up for heartache. I think what makes it even more heartbreaking is this interaction shows her he's listened to her, taken note about what she wants from a man and wants from him (got himself a lease, talking to her about his kid, etc) and he's done the work. He's willing to because she's worth it to him. But now she can't have him.

The way she tells him she's not going to blow it (not going to let him down and break his heart) on the verge of tears as they say goodbye... That's not just a friend. She knows what they missed out on because she messed up.

So yes. She loves him. She just isn't willing to take the risk of letting herself entertain the idea that they could be happy together.

[tired-biscuit]

No I def get it, I really just think a lot of people are used to only having to like on other social media and not having to repost or comment.

A lot of other social media is about consumption, how long can I keep you on my site so I can sell space for ad revenue

Where Tumblr is supposed to be more about interaction and community.

It's really discouraging to write something and want to share it because you know others will like it as well and to get a like at most before they move onto the other thing.

Nothing is sat with for long now with how socials work unless it's a03 and that's hit or miss if you gee a kudo on there too

it’s just……. idk how to explain without sounding self-absorbed or ungrateful, but i feel like the effort and time we all actually put into our fics are oftentimes overlooked

like i sometimes sit behind my keyboard/phone for hours, to the point where i skip a meal or stay up super late cos i really wanna finish a story so bad and cos i’m so inspired and then it gets so little interaction

i made the mistake of checking the graph thingy that shows the reblogs on some of my fics and like most are my own rbs and from moots lol (who i ofc cherish lots and lots and lots!!!!!)

idk, i guess i’m just asking myself if i should even post my stories or just keep them to myself, ya know??? i love to write, it sparks joy, but like if it’s overlooked……… what’s the point of posting so many then for people who take it for granted anyway hahhah

[neurodivergent-adulting]

A quick guide to how I tag things:

Video - Audio - Visuals* - Text - Cooking - Sewing - Cleaning - Organizing - Hygiene - Medical care - Disability* - Pets - Electronics* - Exercise - Emergency - Weather - Employment - Financial - Housing - Reading* - Masterlist* - Miscellaneous*

Visuals - Posts that include some sort of visual aid or guide

Disability - Sort of a catch-all tag for disability stuff

Electronics - Tips or info regarding PCs, gaming consoles, phones, etc etc

Reading - Book recommendations for any topic. Such as a list of books on queer culture, books about racism or colonization, self-help books, etc etc

Masterlist - Posts with links/tips/info on multiple categories

Miscellaneous - Anything that doesn't quite fit into the other categories

Tags for specific disabilities/NDs:

Autism - ADHD - OCD - NPD - Plurality - Physical disability - Image description

I try to be thorough but I may miss a few tags every now and then. Some of these posts are here because I'm tired of them getting lost in my drafts, so not every single post is about ~serious adult duties~ lol. I don't necessarily have every disability or ND that's mentioned here, I just rb things that could be useful to me or maybe for anyone that comes across this place.

If you have any questions or tips of your own, or if you just wanna say hi, feel free! My inbox and dms are open, just don't be rude ❤️

And before you go, know that you are important and wonderful. You deserve to be here and you're doing great by living another day! Please be kind to yourself and others 💕

I don't feel comfortable getting too specific but, hi! I'm a queer, ND, disabled guy in his mid 20s! I was raised by a parent who sheltered me way too much and now I don't know how to do most "adult responsibilities", so I'm compiling a list of resources that apply to me mostly, but also things that may be helpful to others like me.

I am physically disabled and seriously doubt that I can work most jobs because of this. I also have pretty bad dissociation and memory problems that affect every detail of my life. The people in my life don't know about these things and couldn't be trusted with this info anyways, so I kind of suffer in silence irl :')

I developed really bad depression over a decade ago and frequently go through downward spirals, but I still try to treat other people kindly because the world needs more kindness in it. Especially these days. If you're kind to me, then I'll be kind to you, otherwise I'm just going to ignore or block you. I don't have enough battery to deal with rude people, not with all of the shit going on in my life ✌️😕

Anywaaaays this is getting really long now. I hope this blog helps you in some way! Byyyyeee!!

[pepsiiwho]

Thank u for rb-ing the ask game. Here are 5000 asks: ♥️, 🎁 , 👓, 💕, 🍬, and 💌. These are just for you to keep: 💖💓💓♥️💞💕💘💞💘💗❤️💘💘♥️💖💓💖❤️💖💞💓💞💖💗

So many things here should I even answer this in one big thing....

This one is getting it's own post I have too much to say for it but the short answer is "[sound here] sounded like rocks hitting a wall" if you actually read my work you should know this one it's my calling card at this point.

It gets long after this sorry guys

2. This one isn't anything you'd like, a shame I just sent it to you but here's a little piece of the most recent WIP I have as of (checks watch) 3 hours ago. BG3 WIP Title pending.

The woman walks out with her tail between her legs, literally, and Alabaster watches the door close soundlessly behind her as if commanded. The silence between them sits for a moment a second or two before Alabaster speaks. “She's pretty. You might have a type though.”  “What are you doing here?” She didn’t think a sleep-ruffled Astarion would be the one she’d be interacting with when she decided to pay a visit today, but the sight is pleasing all the same. His hair is as white as it’s ever been, only a touch longer. She isn’t sure if actual vampires are capable of being surprised (something something the alertness of darkness or something) but the expression on Asraion’s face was what she would coin as ‘your lover coming home to see you with your mistress' . “You missed me?” He asks. It doesn’t come out like a question, as breathy as it sounds.  “I missed you” She responds. She rolls her shoulders, getting ready for the dance that is talking to Astarion. “I also need your help.”  “You came back because you need me?” There's a sharp smile slowly making it’s way onto his face, laughlines bending to build the expression. He’s sitting up, moving to reach her height. She nods, pulling at the tightly wound strings in his chest, plucking absently.  “I need you.” She responds. Talking to him feels like playing an instrument you haven't touched in a long time, slowly allowing muscle memory to take over so the music can once again be moved by your masterful hands. He smiles full now, as if realizing something she doesn’t know, and she’s reminded that you never really forget how to tune an instrument.

3. What helps me focus when I write... booty shaking music for throwing ass OR hating whatever is happening around me. no in-between.

4. This is a really hard question because if we mean like, emotionally? I could cop out and give a three way tie between Complimentary Soap (it isn't good I'm just nostalgic), Nintendo Direct (Circa June 2021) (it is good and I'm nostalgic) and Like A Brick In The Wall (good and new but god it's chaptered.) But, right now I'm gonna say my most recent fic I posted Going Home; All Over Again. I really love it even tho no one will ever read it (save you). The curse of rare pairs.

5. Okay another long one let's go. I'm only counting things with multiple pics posted...

HADES -

I Missed You Terribly And Like A Dream— You Appeared, Smiling At Me, Just So

Most of my stuff from here isn't good anymore, and while there's another that's more self indulgent and scratches the itch inside my body that aches dully for more Hypnos content at all times, this one reads the best rn. So it win.

HAIKYUU-

Tequilas, Margaritas and Seawater

everything in this fandom is old and arguably bad so nostalgia points carry weight here. This. one was a gift and idk why but it reads amazingly. holds up still

FE3H -

Like A Brick In The Wall

All fe fics are the DEVIL because of any in this list I CARE about these the most no competition. Anyway. This fic didn't win the previous bracket of my fav fic ever but it is my fav in the tag. Don't ask me to explain. I'm sorry.

CSM -

I Squint Out My Peripheral, Peaking Through My Fingers To See You

I don't work here man... I hate this goddamn pic its so good.

DRV3-

Nintendo Direct (Circa June 2021)

She's gonna do it every time... V3 hospital au I lOVE you.

(Listing out my written fandoms like this is the saddest thing ever my GOD I'm cringey)

6. I feel like the tropes I love most I never write myself... it's honestly kinda fandom specific but across the board...? Royalty au. not regency but kinda. A little to the left.

[voidselfshipp]

Would That I

Cw: anger issues ment, self loathing (from f/os part) description of drift being Half naked (only torso area). Food ment. Mentions of Fire. Lmk if im missing something.

Summary: jerico goes to check in on Drift and helping him through a bad day.

->Only mutual allowed to rb.

♡Lovely taglist: @tex-treasures @malewifepatrickbateman @mercuryships

-> pieces of the interview mentioned were found thru the internet, the haiku drift says was also found in the internet though im not sure to who it Belongs to. Lmk tho.

Jerico was looking for drift everywhere, they havent seen him for a couple of hours now.

Sure, they knew that their robot lover was meditating, and he was prone to do that for an extended period of time.

They looked around their garden, only finding the yeager family's house in the distance.

Jeri looks around, noticing growing vegetation, the free house cozily decorated, the flowers swaying with a soft summer breeze and five meters away the Zen garden drift had asked for when they moved in.

A sigh scaped past their lips when they noticed the black and red Mercedes Benz Parked just outside.

They pat the hood of the car and ask-- drift? You there?

--By the cherry blossom-- the car replies.

"Ah...he must be in his holoform..." jeri thought, kissing the hood of the car and entering the garden.

It was decorated with plenty of streams and bridges, different types of trees looming over them, their leaves colored in a wide array of hues.

They notice the well kept koi swimming around the stream, the ocassional frog jumping by, making Jerico squeal with delight.

Finally, at the centre lies the big cherry blossom tree, nurted by none other than Drift himself, lanterns hung from the thick branches, origami that jerico had made for him.

They remembered that their partner had said that "he keeps it around because this place is supposed to give him peace. So he saw fitting that all the things Jeri made for him were kept there".

It always made them tear up and feel moved, Drift appreciated them like none other.

And speaking of the autobot in question, there was his holoform. A japanese Man, long face and sharp cheeks, a thin pencil moustache and a goatee that covered his chin decorated the Lower part of his face.

His clothes were more casual and comfortable,all in a black and red colorscheme. a black harem pant and boots with red accents. His signature samurai esque armor missing.his upper half completely naked. Maybe because of the weather?

But what really caught the attention of Jerico was the fact that his beautiful shiny black hair was down, reaching past his shoulders by maybe three inches.

It swayed in the breeze, making deep greyish red highlights appear and dissapear.

His holoform was just as breath taking as he was in his Real form.

Theres only silence. A heavy air hung around him and Jeri remembered how... sad he looked earlier when he came by, a gaze full of badly disguised self pity and something they couldnt quite place. His blue eyes gleaming as they always did..though then they seemed less bright as he greeted them.

They didnt know what was up with him and they had to know.

Regardless, they knew better than disturb Drift when hes meditating, so jerico goes behind him, eyes settling on the big kanji tattoo that says "honor" on his back.

Carefull fingers trace the symbols, making the Man shudder. Gentle hands move the hair away to reveal the back of his neck, lips place a tender kiss on there.

They put their head ontop of his, one arm falls loosely,elbow resting on his shoulder. The other wraps around his neck and their hand rests on their other arm's wrist.

Drift smiles, not opening his eyes, one hand resting on the arm thats around his neck-- My lotus, what brings you here?-- his voice soft and calm like it always sounded, yet with a hint of sadness.

--Im looking for my lovely boyfriend, have you seen him?

--Ah,maybe-- He said following along-- mind describing him to me? Maybe I have seen him

Jeri Snickered-- ah well, hes tall, handsome, black hair tied in a half bun, he has a very nice voice...likes haikus..

--hmm...he reminds me of me-- he teased.

--But really though, are you okay? Youve been here for a while-- they say.

Drift sighs-- ah well...,my mind feels heavy

--do you want to tell me about it?

He shifted, a little bit uncomfortable-- seems like im having a bad self steem day

-- oh i see, do you want to elaborate?

-- Well...youre aware that I was an ex decepticon-- drift started-- I cant understand how I got so lucky...

Decepticons Hate humans..but the simple thought of anything happening to you is the singlemost frightfull thing that could ever happen to me

You know I was a bad Man.. and yet here you are...I feel like I dont deserve you-- he explained, voice full of sadness,hurt, self pity and...

Self loathing.

Thats what they couldnt pinpoint.

Jerico tightened his grip around him and nuzzled his scalp-- wanna know why im with you?

--Enlighten me, 我が 寸 (my sun)

--Because you changed sides, because you chose to do good after a lifetime of being evil. Thats why.

Deep down youre a good bot, and im dating you because I fell in love with who you are now. Not who you were

Drift smiles, letting out a hearty chuckle-- どうも (Thank you)

--you can Keep meditating if you like, ill go fetch something from the house, love you-- jeri kisses the top of his head and runs off, leaving a very flustered drift.

They return twenty minutes later, sitting behind him-- can I braid your hair?

--Go ahead

Drift could feel the way his lover's hands carefully braided strands of hair, how they made sure not to tug at it accidentally or disturb him much while he kept meditating.

Thats when he hears them sing-- True that I saw her hair like

The branch of a tree

Willow dancin' on air before covering me

Under garden and calicos

Over canopy dabbled long ago

True that love in withdrawal

Was the weepin' of me

That the sound of the

Saw must be known by the tree

Must be felt 'fore the fight, the call

Friendly fire, but that was long ago

"Ah, that song" drift thought " what was that name again 'Would that i'? Yes, thats it"

He remembered telling them he liked the drums at the start.

Then, the lyrics got to him and the last sentence struck a chord within drift.

"Friendly fire, but that was long ago"

He changed sides because one of his fellow Decepticon wanted to kill some autobot prisioners. Drift had opposed and was called a trator.

But the autobots had managed to take down the other decepticon. And the words one of the autobots had said stuck to him to this very day "you'd make a Fine autobot".

That was all it took. He chose to do good.

Drift could not see it, but jeri's eyes were half lidded as they braided his hair, sticking fake flowers on it for decoration.

-- So in awe there I stood as you

Licked off the grain

Though I've handled the wood

I still worship the flame

Long as amber of ember glows

All the wood that I'd loved is long ago-- they sang. When did jerico make their way to almost the end of the song? Drift couldnt tell.

The song and its meaning, He recalls that the creator of the song had said that “There’s a weirdly elaborate pun in it: ‘would that I’ is like a way of saying ‘I wish’”. So the last line is also “All the ‘would that I’ loved is long ago.” Which means he not only moved past his old relationships, but also all the things he used to wish for. All his dreams and hopes don’t matter to him so long as he has Her. He is content."

And that was what drift felt now. Content. His old self is gone, Deadlock, (his decepticon name) is gone and dead.

Drift was content, he was happy, and he'll remain to be happy so long as he had Jerico.

Jerico...they loved him in spite of his manic outbursts of anger (which only happen when he is suddenly startled, or when someone interrupted his meditation), in spite of his past.

He had "handled the wood". His old self. But still "worshipped the flame" which meant that he was still taking the time to discover who he truly is.

--All done-- jeri announced-- ill make some tea and be right back

Drift felt his partner kiss him Gently on the lips, settling something on his lap-- a mirror so you can see what I did

And then he hears footsteps that become distant over time.

He opens his eyes and looks at himself, braids decorating his hair with colorfull fake flowers. Drift loved it.

When jerico came back they were carrying a tray with a teapot and some snacks.

Both sit under the shade of the massive cherry blossom and drink their tea in silence.

That is, until drift puts his head ontop of theirs (that was resting on his shoulder) and says--Your hair smells like fire,

your skin like new grass and sun.

I rest in summer

He had always associated jerico with Summer.

Warmth, joy, days of enjoyment with loved ones or days inside the house with Icecream and good movies. And of course, the sun.

Jeri giggled and took his hand,kissing his knuckles-- love you

--Love you too

After their tea and putting everything away, both return to the garden, under the cool shade of the massive tree.

Drift caresses Jeri's biceps, gently, lovingly. Then he moves his hands across their trapezii and resting on each side of their neck, caressing their jaw with his thumbs.

Jeri lets out a short breathy chuckle, unable to look away from him-- you always treat me with such carefulness, a decepticon would never do that

He smiles and cups their cheeks, leaning in for a kiss.They gladly kiss back, hugging his waist and pulling him closer.

Both remain like that for a while, a long while, showing eachother through a kiss how much they loved the other.

As they part lips, their closed eyes Open, and both smile, kissing again and again until both are out of air.

Drift's fingers Gently interlaze with jeri's, his hand falling from their cheek down their neck and arm to their hand in the shape of ghostly gentle touches.

--Lets go cuddle-- he proposed-- inside, prefferably.

Both exit the garden and they get inside his vehicle mode, who drives to Jerico's house and as they leave the car, drift Mass displaces And both go up to the human's bedroom, holding hands.

As they lay down, the autobot pulls his partner close to him, his spark beating against the humans chest, and both barely notice at how their heartbeats seem to synchronize.

--I love you-- drift said giving jeri a quick kiss.

--I love you too-- they reply, kissing him again.

--Sweet dreams, my Lotus

--Sweet dreams, my warrior

Jeri Hides their head on the crook of their lover's neck, who hugs them protectively.

--Ill have sweet dreams as long as youre around-- drift flirted under his breath, to then smile as Jerico giggles.

He deserved to be where he was. He was going to be okay.

[pandora-whowalksbetween]

if i was summoned for the exchange program i would literally tell them to find a better human. this isnt a joke post i would crumble under the pressure at r.a.d. so fucking fast

[bixiaoshi]

[lavynrose]

Hello lavyn ! I just checked out your blog and I loved your writing ! So clear , neat , and poetic 🥰!Hmm, can I request a very confident and flirty reader that one day just decides to kabedons the boys headcanons ? (Like, all four of them , in separate lol). You can make the end a bit … suggestive 👀hehe (with offff couuuurse the reader on top 👀)

ToT men when you kabedon them!

headcanons + scenarios

character/s: Artem Wing, Marius Von Hagen, Vyn Richter, Luke Pearce, gn! reader

warnings: not proofread, suggestive content, lots of tension

notes: this is the result of my intense brainrot bonks myself, this fic got me feeling a lot of things thank you anon i loved this request!

comments and rbs would be awesome <3

masterlist

Marius Von Hagen

"my, my, Y/N. feeling bold today?"

he would treat it as a challenge

at first he'll be in awe because oh you're asserting dominance? nobody would ever dare try something like this on him

kabedoning the pax heir? sounds like a fever dream to many

would be wide-eyed and blushy for 5 seconds before he's back to his mischievous and flirty self

i repeat, only 5 seconds

when his initial surprise is gone, he would tease you relentlessly, "Oh, you want me so bad?"

of course, you're going to have to silence his mocking and teasing with your advances

just a warning though, he'll flirt back harder

Today is a good day.

The perfect day actually, to give Marius Von Hagen payback for his teasing remarks and fleeting touches that had left you hot and bothered - no matter how hard you try to deny it.

You were left with nothing but the phantom feeling of his warm and slender hands touching your bare skin. How his hot breath blew and tickled the hairs on the back of your neck as his hand held yours above the smooth canvas to help you brush the paint properly - how you had felt the heat of his muscular form pressing against your back, and his other hand resting on your hips while he was guiding you. You hadn't missed the way he rubbed circles on your hips as he was doing so, of course.

You and Marius arranged meetings once a week in his art studio because, "It'd be nice if you learn the basics of painting, I promise it'll be fun," He proposed with his familiar but really charming smile, "I'm your teacher, the best one you could ever ask for." he concluded before. You should've known he had other intentions.

That's how you ended up here, your poor patience and self-restraint keeps getting tested every week.

Learn art, he said.

It'll be fun, he said.

After every session you would find yourself wanting to get closer to him, screaming internally whenever he would purposely pull away, his warmth leaving you just when you started to lean on his touch. You decided today was the day to call it quits.

Marius was by the wall, his back facing you while he was hanging your first ever work on a frame that you had just finished painting earlier. It really took you weeks to finish this, as he kept distracting you with his relentless teasing.

You decide it's time to take the leap. The growing tension too much for you to ignore.

Grabbing him by the shoulders, you forcefully made him face you. His body turned around 180 degrees.

His wide amethyst eyes met yours, "Hey-" before he could even question you, you immediately raised both of your hands and pushed him against the wall with a thud, his mouth letting out an "ow" as you trapped his well-built body between your arms.

"Y/N? What are you doing?" He questions as he looked down on you, eyes wide with pink adorning his cheeks.

You pushed yourself closer to him, you can feel his hardened abs on your stomach as you spoke, "How dare you toy with my feelings," You slowly looked up to him from your lashes, sending him a sharp glare, "Von Hagen." you snarled.

Your heated breaths mingled with every exhale, and you can feel the expanding of his chest as he inhaled.

Your faces are only a few centimeters apart, that you can already feel his kiss even without having to connect your lips.

He blinked a few times before flashing a knowing grin, "Oh?" His smirk grew wider, "So that's how it is?" A smug tone coated his words, it was taking every ounce of your self restraint not to close your eyes and lean in to take his lips.

His large hands finds their way on your hips, "I never actually thought you'd make the first move." He pecked your lips, the warmth still there even when he pulled away, "I can't say I don't like it."

Not having the patience to put up with this teasing anymore, you wrapped your arms on his nape and closed the distance between the two of you again, his wet lips connecting with your eager and already parted ones.

The hands that were on your hips were now squeezing them firmly, as you continued to kiss each other with heated fervor. Sending jolts of pleasure throughout your whole body.

His lips continued assaulting yours and you find your hands raking his hair, pulling him to deepen the open mouthed kisses, his tongue exploring your mouth as you do his.

You then pulled away, catching your breath with a glazed look on your face, "Marius," you breathed as you attempted to pull his clothes over his head, catching sight of his toned abs as you pulled it up.

"Whoa there." He gently grabbed your hands to stop you, his eyes still clouded with desire.

"How naughty," He then returned his hold on your waist, pressing you even closer, "You want us to make out right here, the place where i make my pieces?" He licked and parted his mouth as he dipped down to nip on your lower lip, eliciting a sultry moan from your lips, and you close your eyes from the tingling sensation, "You want to make a different masterpiece, babe?" he smirked when he felt your form shudder from his words.

You took his wrist and dragged him with you, "Let's take this to the bedroom, then."

Luke Pearce

LOVE OF MY LIFE

at first he'd be like, "what's wrong, Y/N?" why are you backing him up to a wall??? do you need something???

luke has seen various types of media portraying this famous kabedon™ and what luke has observed is that - you back a person up to the wall, and put an arm or both arms on their sides. people usually do that when they want to confront someone about something, or if someone wants to kiss a person. he notes with realization

wait what

with those thoughts, heat rushes to his cheeks, and would eventually ask you what you're up to

what you're up to, however, is something he didn't know that would completely make him lose his mind and sanity

"Luke, let's meet again tomorrow!" your eyes twitched at the overly cheerful and obnoxiously faked sweet voice, internally rolling your eyes at the annoying display.

You were wearing a bored look as the girl finally hopped off with a bounce on her step, you were certain that she's even humming. You turned to Luke as the silhoutte of the girl disappeared into the night, "Who's that?" you pointed at her direction.

"A client from the shop," he gestured his thumb to the antiques that were displayed on the shelf. He shook his head, "she would always come here to ask about these trinkets," He then eyed at the colorful but old-looking collection, "She claims she's interested."

Still wearing a blank look, you blurted out a "Huh." You groaned internally. You were sure she's interested in something far from the antiques.

It's clear from that girl's actions alone that she has her eyes set on Luke, she would touch his arm everytime she's telling him something, smiles around him a lot.

She even grabbed his biceps and would linger her hands on his chest whenever she's showing him an item that she likes.

Oh, you've always wanted to do that. You've always daydreamed of doing that.

Maybe that's the reason why you were so irked seeing that stranger touch Luke so shamelessly.

Maybe you should start acting shameless like her, no?

You decided that you should.

What if he doesn't like you back? That'll be a problem for later because right now, your blooming affections are overpowering your fear of rejection.

"So, Y/N. What brings you here?" Luke gestured to you to follow him up the stairs to go to the 3rd floor, "I'm actually glad you came, I wanted to try a new game." He beamed, and you melted at the sunshine radiating from his smile, and you would mirror his expression if you weren't so bothered by what had transpired earlier.

"It's in my room." He took the flight of stairs and you followed suit. You remained silent all throughout and he found it weird, but shrugged it off, he'll ask you about it later.

"I'm sure we'll have fun, you love games like these." he grabbed the console box and handed it to you, blush coating his cheeks from excitement.

But you wanted to play a different game.

"Luke." you reached out your hands to get the console from him, before placing it back where he had got it.

He gazed at you with curious eyes, confused as to why you neglected the game, his face turned serious, "Is something the matter?" he questioned, searching your face for any sign of distress.

His expression quickly changed to surprise when you pushed him with enough force that caused him to stumble backwards, he let out a startled gasp when he landed on the wall, his back hitting it with a thud, he let out a groan from the impact. He used his arms to lean on the wall for support, as he lost his balance earlier from your abrupt push that had caught him off-guard. He leaned there awkwardly, "Y/N-"

You wasted no time to cage him in that position, the sound of your palms slapping the wall echoed in Luke's ears.

"Y/N?" He blinked, eyes wide.

You leaned closer to his ear, your breath creating goosebumps on his skin, "I want to kiss you."

"Wha," His eyes widened even more, "What?"

"I just want a yes or no," you intently gazed at his alluring brown eyes, "What will it be, Luke?" you grazed your finger on his chest as you waited for his response.

He was silent for a moment and proceeded to nod with a gulp. With that, you inched your face closer to his, your noses touching before your lips finally connected, warmth flooded your senses and you can't think of anything else besides his lips.

The curves on his mouth fit yours perfectly, and you sensually tilted your head to the side for deeper access, and you opened your mouth to press your tongue on his closed lips, begging for entrance.

He let out a gasp at the strange feeling, giving you the opportunity kiss him deeper. After some time, you needed air and Luke chased your lips when you pulled away.

"Luke," you opted to place a trail of kisses on his jaw, "do you let other people kiss you like this?"

"Hnn," His breath hitched when you left trail of kisses down his neck, "No..." He answered with a blush.

"Good." you pushed yourself away from him and he whined from the loss of contact. You chuckled at his behaviour, "Lie down." you ordered as you gestured towards the bed, and he laid on the mattress, waiting for your next move.

Excitement bubbling in your stomach, you crawled on top of him. The bed creaking with your every movement as Luke lay under you, his ginger hair sprawled on the bed, his eyes glazed with need. You placed your arms on either side of his head, and pressed your body on top of his, "You're mine." you whispered against his parted mouth before crashing it to yours.

He let out a muffled moan as your hands pulled on his hair, your tongues exploring each other's mouths. You savored his sweet taste with fervor, the kiss keeps getting more intense as desperate moans fill the room.

You pulled away, the both of you panting from the lack of air. As you looked down on Luke, you saw a begging look in his eyes.

He looked adorable.

You dipped down again to lick on his bottom lip slowly, "You taste so sweet," you let out a moan as you placed a firm kiss on his lips.

You felt like you were going to collapse if you were standing, Luke held your waist, pulling your body closer.

You moved your lips to his neck, nipping on it to create marks, "Ahh," he breathed, his body squirming and arching underneath yours as you kept attacking his sensitive spots, "So good..." he whimpered, eyes closing from the sheer pleasure.

"Do you want more, Luke?"

With you looking at him with so much need, who is he to deny you?

Vyn Richter

he'll tease you back ngl

would say "you really are mischievous" with a smile flirtier than yours, provoking you to advance your ministrations even further

you think you can fluster him? no you can't, he hasn't blushed in game, not even once!

what makes you think you can /lh

listen, in the face of Vyn's calm and smooth persona, you ain't slick at all in comparison

BUT

DON'T WORRY

the goal here isn't to fluster Vyn, your goal is to rile him up which is very easy by the way

To say that there was a thick, growing tension between you and Vyn, was an understatement.

You were at his residence for your scheduled psychology classes, as you wanted to learn more from him. Just your luck, the topic you're discussing for today was about the psychology of love.

"Why do you think people fall in love, Y/N?" was the first question that he had asked once he was done lecturing.

A soft ray of sunlight cascaded on his hair, as he was sitting beside the window of his study room, while you were sitting side by side, you at his right, your thighs touching. A psychology book rests on the desk before you.

He was too close. The moment he invited you to study on this tiny desk, you wondered why he didn't choose the much larger, much more spacious desk from across the room.

You just shrugged it off, thinking that maybe the sunshine boosts his intelligence and teaching morale.

Maybe.

"Hmm," You put a finger on your chin, "I guess there are many reasons why, like when we find someone attractive, whether it's a physical trait of not," you furrowed your brows, searching the words to elaborate, "or if we care about that person so much and have emotional attachment to them." you shrugged, "just to name a few."

"Do you think it's just a mere bodily response that we aren't able to consciously control?" he looked straight into your eyes, "Or is it more than that?"

You looked away from his intense gaze, "While it's true that the brain releases biochemicals when we are in love with someone, that doesn't change the fact that those chemicals aren't released for everyone you meet, which meant that the person youre in love with is definitely special, special enough for your brain chemicals to register that this particular person," you finally found the nerve to bring your gaze back to his gold orbs, "is the one you love."

You coughed and continued, "In conclusion, it's not just about chemicals, i think it's related to your object of affection as well." you finished.

"You have a good understanding, Y/N." He placed his hand on your chin to make you look at him, "I wonder if you have this so called special someone?" He inquired, flashing you a close eyed smile.

You mirrored his expression, "Yes." You were smiling, but the pounding of your heart was ringing in your ears because of his touch.

"Hmm, I wonder who that is." he then pulled his hand back, his golden eyes glinting with mischief.

He opened his mouth again, "How about lust?" He looked to the side, thinking, "Is it a natural human reaction of wanting to reproduce," his eyes flickered back to you and smirked, "or people just really want a taste of that person and lose themselves in sinful pleasure?" He questioned, voice sultry and provocative.

Him emphasizing the last word wasn't helping the growing heat pooling on your stomach.

You gulped, you weren't sure if you can answer this properly because you already can't think straight from his ministrations, "The latter, I think." you answered mindlessly as your eyes landed on his inviting lips.

"Oh? An interesting answer," He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, "Have you perhaps," he pulled you closer, pressing you to his chest, as his hot breath tickled your sensitive ear, "experienced lust for another?"

Heat rushed to your cheeks and you rubbed your thighs together, fighting the urge to give in to your raging desires.

But he's just so close, your body just wants to feel him so bad right now.

The burning part of you began to overthrow your rational thoughts, you clicked your tongue as you glared at Vyn, slapping your palms on the window beside him, caging him inside your arms.

You felt even more turned on than before because of this closer proximity.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" you taunted, his eyes widened a fraction from your actions, but quickly gave you a teasing smile.

"I can take a wild guess," he placed his thumb on your bottom lip, rubbing it, his other hand finding it's way on your waist, "You're currently experiencing lust right now, aren't you?"

With those words, you felt like burning up.

He wasn't wrong.

"You know..." you let one hand fall from the window to rest it atop his thigh, "I'm a hands on learner," you leaned closer to him, and you can smell his tea scented breaths, "and i bet i could learn more about lust if you teach me, Vyn." You continued rubbing circles on his thigh as you spoke.

"Hmm, then the first step would be a kiss," excitement bubbled in your stomach, "Are you brave enough for that, Y/N?" He whispered sweetly against your lips, his breaths fanning your face.

Not taking the tension anymore, you crashed your lips against his. He quickly responded with the same intensity, as if he'd been waiting for you to do this.

You sigh against the kiss, your moved your hands from the window to his nape, pulling his impossibly closer. He did the same, tightening the hold that his arms had on your waist.

Your hands finds their way on his chest, as you sensually slid it down to his stomach. He let out a groan, feeling warm all over. Your lips still not leaving each other, wet tongues colliding in a sensual dance. Your moans were the only sounds that can be heard from the peaceful room.

The both of you pulled away, chest heaving from the lack of air, a string of saliva hung between your once connected lips.

You removed his glasses and placed it on the desk, "Teach me some more." you panted.

"Oh, sweetheart," he dipped down to bite on your sensitive neck, making you arch your back, "I could go all day."

Artem Wing

ARTEM "I BLUSH WHENEVER YOU GET TOO CLOSE" WING

y'all remember that iconic scene from episode 3 where MC leans in close?

right, and Artem just lost his shit then and there?

I CAN'T EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE HOW MUCH OF A STUTTERING MESS THIS MAN WILL BE ONCE YOU TRAP HIM BETWEEN YOUR ARMS, BODIES PRESSING CLOSE TO EACH OTHER, OUTRIGHT FLIRTING WITH HIM WITH NO SHAME

Artem.exe has stopped working

because really, out of all the 4 guys i feel like he'll be the most flustered one

yeah, no arguments, he'll turn into a puddle of red cheeks and widened eyes

though i think if you guys were together for long enough he wouldn't be as flustered as before

pull on his necktie while whispering sweet nothings in his ear, thank me later

"We still have no leads." Artem sighed, hands finding the knot on his tie to loosen it, and to lessen the stress forming in his temple. His hair is in blatant disarray, a huge contrast to his usually well-kept azure locks. Even though he looked really exhausted, you felt butterflies began to rumble in your stomach when you realized that he looked hot. How unfair, even amidst exhaustion he looked alluring.

Irresistibly so - the epitome of an eye candy. His neckline and collarbone can be freely seen because of the now loosened tie, and it took all of your willpower not to oogle too much, or imagine what's under his long-sleeved polo.

You shoo away your fantasies, and gazed at him with concern, "You should rest, Artem. You've been on this case for weeks, I doubt you had even a wink of sleep."

"Don't worry about me," He stood up to the door to probably get some more files related to the case, "I can handle another document or two."

As much as you look up to his dedicated and hardworking nature, you can't help but think that he's overworking himself too much.

Maybe the case was that important to him.

But to you, his health is more of a concern.

Before he can click the knob, you turned him around by the shoulder and smacked your right palm on the door, the resounding thud surprising even you.

"Y/N!?" His cerulean hues widen.

"Artem, you should take care of your health," you looked up, the close proximity making you notice even the smallest details about him, making you do a doubke-take, "I am very..." you trailed off, your eyes wandering to his exposed neck before flickering back to his tired yet devilishly handsome face, "worried."

"Uhh," He unconsciously grabbed on his necktie, "Please don't worry, Y/N." Then he coughed, "You're too close."

The handsome top attorney stood there while darting his eyes, blush coating his cheeks, caged in your arms.

He looked irresistible.

It drives you nuts and your hormones go wild. They're screaming at you to go and get a piece of Artem right here, right now.

The cold from the AC is doing nothing to cool off Artem's alleviating nerves, while he tries to make himself comfortable from your unwavering gaze.

"I can help you relax, you know?" You blurted out, gaining a confused look from Artem. He blinked.

After some moments of silence, you dragged Artem from the wall to push him to the nearby swivel chair, making him sit.

"Wha-" before he could even react, you already plopped yourself comfortably on his lap, hooking your legs on either side of his hips, your ankles hitting the back of the chair, and wrapped your arms around his neck. You pressed your bodies together, your chest feeling his. There's no space left between you two, except for your lips.

You can hear both of your frantic heartbeats pounding through your chest, his breath hitched and his heaving body emanated heat from the tension, making you even more turned on.

He seemed to be speechless as he just stared at you, his cerulean eyes flickering with lust. So you took this opportunity to slowly inch your face towards his, your heart pounding loud against your ribs with every second.

You whispered, "Part your lips, Artem." and he did so with obedience, all while he slid his hands around your waist.

You parted your mouth and without wasting one more second, you devour his awfully sweet lips with feverish passion. The tantalizing taste of vanilla spread throughout your tastebuds as you slid your tongue to intertwine it with his.

The both of you were a moaning mess as you lapped on each other mouth's, savoring each other wholly. You grind your hips on his for friction, heightening the pleasure that electrified you both senseless. It felt as if you were burning up.

The swivel chair rocked from your movements.

You curled your fingers on his hair, and tilted his head back, "Artem," you opened your mouth to press kisses on his jaw, "moan for me." you slowly removed his tie, pulling it down.

"Y/N..." he tried to buckle his hips in search for yours, you smirked at his desperate state, and moved from his jaw to his collarbone, "Ah," he breathed and closed his eyes shut as he felt your warm lips engulf him.

You pulled away, "Look at you," you pant against his ear as you seperate his buttons one by one, until his polo opens, "you can't even talk straight," your breath hitched when his bare chest and stomach came into view, your body tingling with hunger at the sight. You dipped your head to bite and nibble eagerly on his neck to mark him, as you slid your hands under his polo to feel his heated skin on your palms. He let out a moan as you touched a particularly sensitive spot, his eyes closing shut.

You chuckled, "You don't seem like the top attorney to me, Sir."

do not repost © lavynrose 09/05/21

[transmasc-wizard]

Writing Autistic Emotions: Grief

hello hi greetings to all the allistic writers with autistic characters who have stumbled upon this post! I've decided to start a series of posts that talk about autism and emotions, specifically in regards to how your autistic characters may experience/process/show their feelings.

You already know (I hope, anyway) that autistic people tend to express our emotions in a different way to our allistic counterparts. This post in particular will encompass something I'm sure all you evil evil (affectionate) writers are inflicting upon your characters, including your autistic ones: grief.

Autistic grief is not like neurotypical grief. (That's a link to a great article, btw.) Autistic people are not going to process grief like allistics, and showing this with your characters can give extra accuracy.

Essentially, autistic people often do not do the whole "feel your emotions strongly, cry your eyes out, want to be around people and share in your struggles, are really sad and upset" thing. That's just not how a lot of us tick.

For instance, I lost a family member in 2020. Everyone around me was crying, talking about how they missed her/telling stories about her, constantly thinking of her, throwing themselves into funeral plans, etc. I... cried twice.

Once a few hours after I found out about it, and then once months and months later when it actually hit me. I didn't want to talk to people about her, I didn't know what I was feeling (that is called alexithymia and is common in autistics), and I didn't understand everyone's need to dwell on her. As my low-empathy and high-alexithymia brain processed it, I came to the conclusion that crying & socializing was exhausting and it did not bring her back. However, I was also often tired, frustrated, and irritable during that time--that was my grief.

Autistic grief may look like:

seeming to not be grieving at all, only to have the emotions hit several months later

seeming to be ignoring the source of grief/unbothered by it

having most of the distress stem from everyone dwelling on the source of grief and making us be involved, instead of the source itself

increased meltdowns and/or shutdowns

increased sensory sensitivity/sensory issues

difficulty understanding why everyone is taking so long to grieve and crying so much (especially if we're in the first bullet point, aka not processing until long after everyone else is done)

feeling really really intensely, especially in regards to anger. This is the opposite end of what I am, so I won't touch too heavily on that, but autistic emotions can 100% be extreme

having difficulty describing their grief beyond "It feels bad"

not even realizing we're grieving, but having high exhaustion and stress levels that signal we definitely are

less energy for socializing and communicating; isolating themselves

difficulty with everyday tasks

lowered verbality (a semi-verbal autistic being nearly nonverbal, a usually verbal autistic talking much less or having much more difficulty with it, etc)

throwing ourselves into our Special Interests to an even higher degree as a way to cope (we already use them to cope in everyday life, after all)

using our self-soothing stims a lot more (i.e. i rock when under stress; grieving may have people noticing a lot more rocking from me)

TLDR: autistic people's experiences of grief often manifest in us becoming more "visibly autistic", having difficulty with our emotions/increased alexithymia, exhaustion, and in general not grieving in the "typical" way.

I'm not saying autistics ALWAYS grieve like this (we're not a monolith) and I'm not saying NTs can't also have this way of grieving, but these are just some aspects of grief that autistic people often experience that you can give to your autistic characters. Other autistic people feel free to add on & allistics feel free to rb!

[tittyblade]

tumblr etiquette 101

a list that is nowhere near exhaustive, from yours truly.

First off, welcome! Whether you’re a twitter veteran looking for anything but whatever twitter is, or a new user just done signing up, glad to see you in our ranks beloveds! Welcome home. Refer to this quick tour to make sure your fandom experience (or tumblr experience in general) is a positive one!

Disclaimer: I know it’s long, but please try to read or skim through til the end if you’re new here! This is by no means meant to be a rule book (for the most part lol), only a guide to help you get settled easier!

1) Your blog

This is where people will see and interact with you, so put some effort into it!

Try to choose a name (url) that’s simple. You can see it as your brand, it’s how people will perceive you and remember you. If you’d like to interact with other users here (and not use the site just for the content) it’s better to have something short and sweet, preferably without spaces. (Of course, these are only suggestions.) Rest assured, you can change it literally any time you want.

Have a theme. Utilize the tool that lets you edit your blog’s color or the font of your bio! You can make it match your profile picture, or your blog if it has a theme of its own. Make it feel homey :]

Fill in your bio. People will be checking out your profile probably more often than you think. Don’t leave it empty! Put in any information you’re comfortable with sharing and isn’t too personal (like your age if you’re a minor, or other TMI that can be found on other people’s carrds). It’s always better to add a name/nickname people can use to refer to you by, but feel free to use your blog description to shitpost still.

You can have an intro post. More often than not, you’ll see a blog have a pinned post, a post permanently appearing at the top of a blog until you pin another post or unpin it. You can make one of those, if you’d like to introduce yourself in more length, link any other socials or a carrd, and show others visiting your blog how you tag things so it’ll be easy for them to navigate. Not an obligation.

Keep your anonymity and your safety. It should go without saying, but there’s no harm in repeating it just in case. Your comfort, privacy and safety has the utmost importance. Don’t share any information you don’t want to. Don’t share your age if you’re a minor, or any other incredibly personal info. I’d encourage you to go by a nickname that’s not your real name, (blog name, your brand, remember?) since there’s safety in anonymity, and that’s lowkey one of the big deals of tumblr, but that’s up to you still.

Choose what you want to be visible. Your liked posts and who you follow are all things you can set to keep to yourself and hide from the publics eye, how handy! You should go through all the setting while you’re at it, set it to your comfort.

Side blogs are a thing. You can have multiple blogs that you can use for different things (see: different fandoms, art blog, etc) to keep them organized or away from your followers. Just remember that the replies and off-anon asks you send will be from your main blog, as well as where you follow other blogs from.

2) Interacting with others

You’ve set up your account, now comes the fun part!

Follow to your heart’s desire. If you care about others seeing who you follow, fear not! In tumblr, usually only two types of blogs keep their following visible to others: newbies, and big blogs using it to point people on other good blogs’ direction. Just turn it off, and go ham following people.

Customize your dashboard. Gonna mention just two things here: this is another reason why it’s really important that you follow blogs without sparing, your dash will collect dust otherwise; and you should turn off “best stuff first” in your dashboard settings, to have a better community here and all.

Follow tags. You can set it in your settings that posts with your followed tags appear on your dashboard.

You can check the og post for edits and context. When you see a reblogged post you don’t understand the context of (or don’t recognize the character in case of fanarts), click on the profile so it will take you to the original post. From there you can check the original poster’s tags to get the context, or see if there have been any edits made to the post, since when you edit a post it doesn’t update any past reblogs.

Send people asks... This is how you make mutuals, people! Do it off-anon if you’d like them to know your blog, or anon if you’d rather not! (You can still end your messages with a signature to show you’re the same person, -[name] is one example.) Send them nice messages, ask their opinion on something, discuss things, or just straight up shitpost lol. Go wild. The sky’s your limit and it’s definitely more than 280 characters.

...and let them ask you! You can set your preference in the settings, do it on desktop tumblr to access more settings tho! What you can customize on mobile is limited (like letting people ask you things anonymously, that’s only on desktop settings). In my personal opinion, it’s always better to tag their username (or a nickname you give them, if they’re a friend) on that post, since you wouldn’t want your interactions with your friends to get buried in your blog forever.

Comment on posts. If you have something to say but don’t want the post to appear on your blog you can add a comment. The owner of the post will get a notif for it, but for anyone else you need to tag them.

For the love of god, reblog. People will only see your liked posts if you have it visible to public and they specifically go on your blog to look at them. You like something? You reblog. It’s already hard for posts to circulate properly, if you don’t reblog them literally no one will see them. If not for anything do it for the artists. Just hold and drag on mobile to fast rb.

3) Your Posts

Finally here! Don’t be a lurker, post and engage!

Make use of “read more”. If your post is long, add it. That’s what you clicked on earlier to expand this post. On desktop leave an empty line and you’ll see three dots appear, and on mobile type :readmore: on that empty line.

Draft a post to come back to it later. Pretty self explanatory.

Queue your post. Whether it’s your own post or you’re reblogging, make use of the queue feature to a) not spam reblog and fill up the dashboard of people following you and b) keep your blog active while you’re gone. Mess around in the settings, it’s fairly easy to set up.

Schedule your post. Same as queueing, the only difference is you get to choose the exact time your post will go up. Handy if you want to schedule a post for certain dates like april fools, or 5 years in the future for some reason. 

Format your texts. You can do all kinds of fancy stuff here (that’s a link, try pressing on it). Twitter doesn’t have this, make use of it. Changes depending on whether you’re on mobile or desktop. (Desktop has less features.)

Check your stats. If you’re trying to understand the algorithm better or want to look at some pretty graphs you can get your data on that on desktop tumblr.

@ people in comments. You’ll get all the notifs when people comment on your posts but they won’t see your reply unless you tag them in your message.

4) Tags, and tagging a post

This is where my earlier statement “this isn’t a rule book” stops being applicable. It’s not a war crime to go against these, I won’t come chasing you (don’t take my word for this) but you’ll work up a bad rep. Just saying lol.

Do NOT crosstag posts. It’s really tempting to add unrelated tags to increase your posts’ interaction, I know, but that’s not what tumblr is about. Don’t be a dick and make other communities’ experience worse for them.

Always tag your posts with “crit/critical/discourse/etc” if it calls for it. There’s no exceptions to it. This is the reason you see people migrating to tumblr. Let people enjoy things.

Don’t main tag a critical/negative post. If your crit post is about “Thing”, you add the “Thing critical” tag, but not the “Thing” tag. People block crit tags if they don’t want to see it, don’t shove it in their faces by main tagging it. 

If you don’t want to see something, just block it. Another reason why people are able to survive on tumblr. You don’t start discourse, you don’t make call-outs, you block. You can find something for every community you can think of if you go looking for it. The worst of the worst probably won’t ever appear on your dash, but if you’re worried or feel the need for it, you know where the block button is.

Feel free to shitpost or ramble. More often than not you’ll see people rb a post with a comment, and their elaboration will be in the tags. The tags are only visible on your profile and the notifications of the owner of the og blog. Just a thing people do.

Reblog artists’ posts with nice comments in the tags! Commenting on a drawing is usually done through the tags (Not an obligation, again, just a thing people do. Feel free to add your comment on the rb itself if you’d want other people to see it tho!) and leave nice messages for the artists! It’s a win-win for everyone involved. 

If you have more than a single follower, always use the common tw warning tags. You don’t need to tw everything, but tw’ing some common things is the bare minimum human decency. Keep it safe for others. 

Tag a post “long post” if it’s really long. Pretty self explanatory. Don’t make people scroll through all that please lol. 

You can use them to organize your blog. This is more of a pro tip, if you’d like to not miss a post in your blog, cause they will start pilin’ up soon enough.

#Liveblogging is pretty fun. If you’d like to talk to people during streams, don’t forget to add the relevant tags still! Again, you won’t show up on people’s dash otherwise.

Whew! That got out of hand. Hopefully I didn’t bore you too much. Check out blogs like @heritageposts and @hellsite-hall-of-fame to honor our past o7. @mcytblr-hall-of-fame too maybe :eyes:. Anyways, don’t forget the most important rule of them all:

Enjoy your stay! You’re meant to have fun on here while also making friends (if that’s your thing). Just be kind and respectful of others, you’ll get the hang of the rest! <3

[svchengss]

hey barista! | l.dh

summary | befriending the barista from your local cafe doesn’t seem too bad

pairing | lee donghyuck x fem!reader ft. jaemin who’s a rlly cute side character in this :(

genre | fluff, angst, slight humour (?)

warnings | a kiss?? i don’t think there’s any but if i missed anything do lmk !!

word count | 3k+

s. tg | @hyuckefi [my apologies since i didn’t release a proper teaser for this 🙏🏻]

author’s note | this is my first fic exceeding 1k words so if u enjoyed reading this, please leave some feedbacks !! rb’s are also appreciated :D ALSO I SUCK AT SUMMARIES LMAO PLS IGNORE THAT

just another day of working at palm coffee, the same old routine. cleaning the countertop and tables before opening up the cafe, prepping the ingredients - more for top favourites! - and examining the machines to make sure they’re working properly. that’s some of hyuck’s daily routines as a barista. he didn’t mind them though, he loved his job. he couldn’t specify the reason why but all these tasks are genuinely interesting to him.

seeing you drop by the cafe is a normal occurrence for him. since you are a regular customer after all, the rest of the staff already know you well. heck, they’re even good friends with you. jaemin hangs out with you more than he does despite being jaemin’s childhood friend. except for him, he doesn’t really know why. he’s not really shy, considering the fact that he’s a social butterfly. he just couldn’t bring himself to say anything to you, the only times he did so was to take your orders when the rest of the workers were busy in the store.

upon hearing the doorbell chime which signals a new customer entering the cafe, hyuck blurted out the usual line. “hello, welcome to palm coffee! how can i help-“, looking up from the cash register only to find you in a disheveled state. “-you?” he eyes you up and down, noting how a few strands of your hair were out of place, the nude lipstick smeared on the left corner of your mouth and your outfit looks really rushed. 

“sorry, what was your name again, hyuck right?” you quickly glanced at the nametag hanging nicely on his apron. “i’m in a rush right now, can i get a,” you scanned over the menu behind him, “uh, white coffee, please?”. 

“that will be six dollars. you can use the restroom in the meantime to, you know, touch up your makeup and stuff,” he takes the bills from your hand, putting them in the machine in front of him before flashing you with that warm smile of his. you wished him a quick thanks before disappearing into the back of the place.

now that was embarrassing.

your eyes scanned over the hall to find your friend before hearing her shout your name from across. damn, why does she have to be so loud? stares were directed towards you as you walked up the stairs to your designated seat. all the chatter going on in the lecture hall became quiet as soon as your professor placed her things on the desk, which means class has started. 

after hearing a two-hour lecture and writing some notes - where suddenly song lyrics and scribbles appear - the words you’ve been waiting to hear finally echoed through the speakers. 

“class is dismissed, thank you everyone for listening,” mrs. hui’s voice later being flushed out by the buzzing voices of the students walking out the hall, determined to finish their own activities. you stuffed your ipad and papers into your light yellow jansport backpack before going out to meet vic who’s waiting for you outside. 

“i’m exhausted, what did she even teach just now?” vic sighed to her heart’s content. you can’t blame her, today’s topic was quite complicated. circuits analysis or something? you can’t really wrap your head around it, your brain being stuffed with all the information. vic kept on ranting  about the problems she faced from the moment she woke up, making you giggle at some comments she made. 

“wait for me, i’m almost done,” he folded his apron neatly before shoving it into the drawer and grabbing his bag from the counter to join jaemin, who’s waiting at the front door with the keycard. hyuck accepted jaemin’s request to help him with some shopping for his sister’s birthday party next week. obviously, the rest of the staff were also invited. 

jaemin divided the shopping list into two, allowing hyuck to find the rest of the things with ease.

“now where are the streamers…” he muttered out loud enough for himself to hear, crouching down to browse through the party decorations on the shelf. or he thought so, as you could hear him sighing clearly in dire need of the certain decoration, that you decided to help him out. 

“um, hyuck? i think the party streamers are in the aisle beside this one? you look a bit troubled there,” you chuckled lightly. the heat flushed to his cheeks, feeling dumbfounded. 

“really? uh, thank you for the help,” he gave you a small grin that could hardly be seen if you didn’t spot the corner of his lips. and with that, he’s long gone with his shopping basket.

you are fond of the atmosphere you’re in right now. the decorations left you in awe - white and pink silk hanging from the wall with silver letter balloons spelling out happy birthday stitched onto them. you can see jaemin’s sister, eun-ji, being carried out of her room with a small flowy white dress and wearing a golden bow on her head, her brunette hair being tied into ponytails. the na family really adore their youngest girl.

meanwhile, there are only a couple of adults your age attending the party -  jaemin’s co-workers, some of his other friends which you aren’t familiar with and hyuck. he looked rather chill, with an oversized beige sweater and white jeans to suit the party’s theme. you’re not quite bad as well, your hair combed nicely and kept neat with a headband, a white sundress with strawberry patterns on it fit nicely on your figure, complemented with a heart-locket necklace placed on your collarbones. before reaching jaemin’s house, you made sure to drop by a local store to get some gifts for eun-ji. she’s a very well-mannered kid which made you adore her very much.

“y/n? very glad to see you here,” hyuck said as he approached you, offering you a plate of cake which he cut.

“i could say the same to you too, mr. lee,” you let out a soft laugh. he made sure to keep a mental note over how pretty you looked today.

“y/n, hyuck! glad you two broke the ice, did you know how hurt i was seeing you two act like strangers whenever y/n came by the cafe?” jaemin enveloping you into a small hug before fake pouting. you can only laugh at the fake debate the two guys in front of you were having. after conversing with hyuck and jaemin for quite some time, you realised that he’s a cool person to talk to, where all this time, you thought he hated you for some reason. before leaving, you made sure to thank mrs. na for hosting the party and off you went home. 

following the previous encounters, hyuck felt much more comfortable around you - even hanging out with you during his shift where you would do your assignments at the cafe he’s working at. every now and then, he would also invite you to hang out with him and jaemin. however, what he didn’t realise was how he slowly pent up feelings - romantically. 

ding dong!

he pressed on the doorbell button with a box of doughnuts in his left hand. the three of you were supposed to be having a movie night, but jaemin got caught up with his groupwork which leaves the two of you alone. 

“hey hyuck! come in,” you gestured, arranging the cushions on your sofa to make it look more organized. the interior of your rented apartment is calming, the light grey walls suiting the navy blue sofa and furniture with darker undertones. the walls are also not left empty, with modern art portraits hanging from it. 

“i brought donuts, your favourite, right?” he opened the box, placing it on the coffee table while you set up the television. you wished him a quick thank you before grabbing two canned drinks from the refrigerator, handing one to him and pressing play on the remote control. you two weren’t quiet throughout the whole movie, with snarky comments on how hot the actors were or how stupid they were being were made. 

he didn’t know you were sleepy though as all of a sudden, he could feel the weight of your head on top of his shoulder. it was a rather awkward situation as he didn’t move at all so you could sleep comfortably. before long, he joined you and dozed off to wonderland. the next morning, you were more than embarrassed to find yourself cuddling up to him, with the next movie still playing on the screen.

seeing your figure outside the front door made hyuck more excited to greet you today. after making a quick order for a green tea latte, you fished out your purse from your handbag, feeling frantic if you’ve lost it outside. luckily, you were the only customer in line as the rest of them were already seated and carrying out their own businesses.

“sorry, but i think this might be yours,” you turned around to find a tall-looking guy handing out your black purse. a wave of relief washed over your soul, thanking the latter profusely.

“mind if i buy you a drink? i hate feeling like i owe someone,” you offered, which he gladly accepted. 

“i’d like a double espresso, please,” he kept his hands into his pockets. 

“and your name, sir?” hyuck looked mildly bothered.

“yukhei,” he ran his slightly blonde hair through the slender fingers. hyuck hated how cocky he looked, feeling more annoyed than ever over the scene that was played in front of him just now. he hated how yukhei looked at you. 

why should he get jealous? he’s just a mere friend to you, that’s all. you have to stop overreacting, hyuck. 

those words kept running through his mind all day.

“dude, are you okay? you looked-” jaemin opened the staff room, interrupting him from the self-talk he was having, “-distracted,” finishing up his sentence. 

“nope, i’m just fine,” he said, bringing the honey smile back onto his face. jaemin nodded before disappearing back to the front to serve the customers. 

stop being so jealous, hyuck. you’re just a friend. not more, not less. 

“jaemin, how do you know if you like someone?” that question is kind of shocking to him, especially if it’s coming from hyuck. of course, he’s had a crush before but it was during middle school. just a silly, little crush. growing up, he’s never had one - not even in high school.

“you’ve asked the right person,” jaemin managed to do his obnoxious voice, even while driving the car. he’s right, he is the matchmaker of the friend group, just how many relationships worked out because of him? eyes still focused on the road - he’s a responsible driver of course, he began to explain the feeling to hyuck, making his points loud and clear.

“first of all, you start feeling a little too happy whenever you’re around them. and no, this is not the oh-we’re-best-friends-forever type of happy, it’s the i’ll-make-you-the-happiest-person-on-earth one. not to forget, you will also experience some kind of turbulence in your heart, expect them to be jumping around a bit. or a lot, whichever suits you the best.

you also tend to feel nervous around that person. like, stuttering your words in obvious or non-obvious ways, feeling faster heartbeats than usual, you name it. oh! if you’ve ever felt jealous whenever they are around someone else, i mean, in affectionate ways, you might have one. however, my tip is for you not to act out of your mind. you don’t want to ruin whatever relationship you have currently, do you?” even when driving, he still managed to deliver his points with full precision and accuracy. 

nodding his head, hyuck took some mental notes to be thought through when he gets home. 

hyuck stared at you, whose figure is snoring soundly on his lap. he assumed you must be feeling exhausted, mid-terms just ended after all. while threading his fingers through your hair, he remembered what jaemin said to him weeks earlier.

1. being happy around them

like jaemin said, it is normal to be happy around your friends. but being with you, it kind of gave more joy for him. not to mention that he started to catch himself smiling over your texts and being reminded of you over small things - your favorite donut topping, the name of that one stray puppy you gave. 

2. feeling nervous around them

his heart would beat a lot faster whenever you get closer towards him, whether accidentally or to mess with him. 

3. getting jealous over someone else

he shouldn’t be jealous of how yukhei looked at you. but he seriously can’t help it. and the way he’s always there during your hangouts. he doesn’t care if he seems petty, yukhei just isn’t in his favour.

his deep thoughts came to a halt when you called out his name, eyes still half-closed, attempting to open them a bit more. 

“did i interrupt you or something? gosh, i’m so sorry,” you quickly stood up but he pulls your body back onto his lap, asking for you to stay.

“what are we?” that question caught you off-guard. the same one that has been at debate in the back of your mind these days. 

i don’t know hyuck, it’s complicated. 

“what do you think we are, hyuck?” you shot the question back at him, your gaze piercing through his soul.

“i don’t know. it’s just-” 

“are you sure?” a deep sigh left your lips. have you been interpreting his body languages wrong? did he only see you as a normal friend, nothing more? 

“sorry, i’m not feeling well. see you later hyuck, bye,” you tried your best to shoot the sweet smile of yours but only a faint one seemed to appear. once you stepped out of the room, he buried his face into his hands. 

god, what have i done?

“don’t feel too down, y/n. maybe there’s something more that he couldn’t bring himself to say?” vic suggested, handing you some tissue.

“i don’t know, i seriously have no idea. why can’t he just say it?” you continued to sob into her arms, she pitied you, especially in your condition right now. but she can’t do anything to help you, other than consoling and listening. 

jaemin knew something was wrong, from your rare visits to the cafe to hyuck not being himself lately. something was definitely wrong and it’s between the both of you. sure, hyuck might be saying that he’s fine again and again, but his expressions can’t lie. the sweet smile of his is long gone and his jokes are no longer heard. whatever it is, jaemin is determined to solve it. he just wants his best friends back. 

looks of dismay can be read all over hyuck’s face when the person facing him is no other than the guy himself, yukhei. still, he tried to control his composure, not making his inner feelings any more obvious.

“so what brings you here?” he took a sip of the mineral water, still making his throat rough from the tension hanging in the air. 

“look, i’m not here for any fights. i know you like y/n, everybody can see it. and honestly, you were oblivious to your own feelings,” he rubbed his hands together. the latter’s puzzled face made him continue his words.

“i’m not trying to make her like me, or whatever you’ve been assuming. sorry if i gave the wrong message but you are the one who should make a move. i can see from the way she looks at you, the feelings are mutual,” he straightened up the denim jacket outside the white shirt wrapping his figure. 

letting out a heavy sigh, hyuck’s face begins to soften up. “no, i should be the one who’s sorry. i’ve been such a prick to everyone around me lately, especially you,” he took of the cap from his head, messing up his hair. 

“no problem, bro. it’s understandable, i guess. now good luck with her, please treat her well,” the two guys exchanged a fist bump for the problem solved. jaemin leaned his back against the wall, smiling and feeling satisfied.

you called out jaemin’s name but to no avail. he invited you to his apartment but seeing that the lights are out, it’s clear enough that he hasn’t finished whatever he was doing yet. just as you were about to leave, you saw hyuck at the other side of it, both your faces mirroring the same look of confusion.

“so, uh, how have you been doing these days? it’s been a while since we talked,” he chose to break the silence. now, you two were sitting facing each other by the balcony. inhaling the breeze, you paused for a moment before responding to his question.

“i’ve been feeling, not as usual. definitely not happy but not that sad,” you pushed some of the loose hair strands hanging on your forehead behind your ears before asking about his.

“you know what, i’m just going to be direct with you. i, lee donghyuck have been holding feelings for you since i don’t know when. yeah sure, i wasn’t really sure at first about what i was going through. i guess i was just scared of how you would react,” he scratched his ears which are not feeling itchy at all, but rather an attempt to distract himself from the overwhelming emotions deep inside him. 

not wanting to waste time any longer, you placed your right hand onto his cheek, standing on the heels of your feet to bring your two lips together. the kiss was short before he pulls you back in for another, this time a more passionate one. he could feel you smile against his lips before enveloping your body into his arms.

“i’ve missed you, you know?” he whispered, his voice tender, directing right into your ears before you replied with how you missed him more. the both of you continued to whisper sweet nothings while embracing each other’s presence. 

jaemin looked at the both of you from a distance, his heart swelling with pride. 

— another pair of lovers matched, cupid jaemin signing out.

[ollovae3]

I saw the post you reblogged about respectful self inserts and felt like I needed to say something. While I agree with the sentiment of the post itself, I've been increasingly concerned over the past several months watching you ship your (white) self inserts with moc over and over and over again, while using aspects of Māori culture like Tā Moko in ways you clearly don't understand. It honestly strikes me as very fetishizing and though people have definitely expressed their concerns on your posts before, it doesn't seem like you're really listening. You post and rb a lot of antiracist stuff but it doesn't come across as genuine when viewed in the context of the rest of your blog. Please try doing some research about why this kind of fan behavior is harmful, and listen to poc fans when they speak up about it.

Hallo there, stranger!

Sticking this under a read-more to be polite for length!

While I understand and agree about the Tā Moko aspect (which is why I haven't drawn it on any characters since July), I'm a little confused about the rest?

On top of only having two ships that fit that bill, I haven't draw them since August? And while I'd love to change them if they need some changing, there's just.... Nothing here, and nothing in previous "crit", that gives me anything to work with but "he's a MOC and you're white, therefore this is fetishizing"? I take a lot of care to avoid any bad tropes (ex: keeping Bee from teaching Boba about his own damn culture/keeping Avi out of Thorn's line of command), and if I ever miss any I'd LOVE to hear about it! If I seem to lean too far into some territory that I've missed in my research, I'm HAPPY to hear about that, even if it hurts to realize!

But, so far it seems to just be critique that my characters are white, while the ones they're shipped with are brown, which.... Isn't bad? Do I have MOC as favorite characters? Yes! Are they my favorite just because they're brown? No! Are MOC my ONLY favorite characters? Also no?? Do I think they're very handsome? Yes! Definitely! But is it only because they're brown? Absolutely not!

And on the final points, I do actually listen to POC, and if you're one of my friends on anon, anon, I am really happy to listen to what crit you have! I have researched how self inserts can be harmful, which is why I've discussed before how to make better ones, including a push for new creators to research what they're getting into.

TDLR: interracial ships are FINE, being interested in character different from yourself is GOOD, and so I've researched what to avoid and how to write characters of color better. When critique is no longer "but you're white" and that alone, I'm happy to listen!