#self ship vent post

[eboni-napalm]

The only shitty thing about being a self-shipper in some fandoms is when you want to connect with people who are in that same fandom as you and share your love of the characters you ship with, whether with fanfics you wrote or art you drew/commissioned, but having this gut feeling that you just KNOW that people are going to laugh at your or call you gross or whatever, and it sucks. You basically have to tread so lightly and tiptoe around glass with how you talk positively about certain characters because otherwise people will bully you for it in any way they can and almost force you to isolate yourself from the majority of the fandom, if not completely ruin your love for that source- and that shouldn't happen, but it does.

Whether just for fun or actually serious about it, LET PEOPLE SELF-SHIP. So long as they're not hurting or offending anyone, the character and person shipping themselves with them are both adults, and are happy with how they live and express themselves, it shouldn't be an issue. Who fucking cares if people call it "cringe" or "stupid" or whatever words they come up with? It's something we love, and characters we love, and us self-shippers deserve to be able to feel safe and accepted in the sources we love without worrying about being insulted by it. Let us love what we love- we're not stopping you from enjoying your fandoms, so don't do it to us.

--

(PRO-SHIP/ANTI-SHIP/COM-SHIP DNI IN ANY WAY, THIS POST IS NOT FOR YOU.)

[kimiko24-art]

Vent from a ficto I take my relationship with my f/o very seriously. As a non-sharing selfshipper and fictosexual, I consider them my real partner. But it's difficult navigating the real world when everyone expects the norm from you. Most of the time people don't understand, and sometimes they judge. I mentioned this before but: The only downside to being a ficto is that no matter how much you want it to be possible, your f/o can't participate in real world activities with you. I can't invite my f/o out on a coffee date to meet my friends and family. I always wonder how much fun it would be to go on a double date or do couple activities all together with friends.. but then I remember that my partner isn't physically here and it's hard sometimes.

(Also, selfshipping and fictosexuality go hand in hand, but they are not inherently the same thing. Ficto does not equal selfshipping and vice versa.)

Disclaimer(s): This isn't directed at anyone in particular. Ship however you like guys. Just feeling a little down right now love you guys.

[employee052]

turns out a brief moment of feeling ok doesnt mean im done grieving

anywho, heres a vent doodle with a pose i saw online, might not reblog the road trip thread posts for a bit (i feel bad for not being able to participate in my own trend but as long as people enjoyed it then i dont mind all too much)

i dont wanna call it a break bc i cant help but be on tumblr, but things might go quiet in terms of art or me talking.

hope yall are doin well today/tonight/timezone n ill see yall when i see you :3

[selfship-vent-confessions]

ngl i wish people would be less like, overtly violent with their dnis on imagines and stuff sometimes. like i hate pro shoppers as much as the next guy but it’s just kind of awkward to read a cute imagine and then there’s just “proshippers please impale yourself on a metal pole” or something at the end. or worse something like “im sending feds to check your hard drive” or stuff like that because it’s bound to mess with people’s heads if they have paranoia or similar issues (proship or not) and i just don’t think that’s a good thing to be promoting in the community. but idk maybe i’m overreacting, im just kinda tired of seeing really graphic death threats on otherwise nice posts

-

[selfship-shinigami]

What I wouldn't give to hear one of my F/Os say they're proud of me... today's a rough day

[mxtx-purist]

How the fuck do i exist in a world where there are more stories about og!shen qinqiu- teacher figure, actual immortal who should know better, ABUSER, mastermind behind a big part of Luo binghe's pain and someone who actually tried to kill his student- with Luo bingge, than Luo bingge with shen yuan, who showed him kindness when he least expected it, and proved that a reality where he wasn't miserable and actually happy for once was possible?

This is new, too. Cause I remember being really active in the fandom years ago and that ship wasn't even half as popular. It's only when it got serialized and distributed on paper worldwide that this started gaining this much traction. It's disgusting

[rexscanonwife]

I'm just gonna let my queue do it's thing, but I'm not gonna be super active here cause I'm kinda going through some family stuff. Love you all 💖

[rencoons-trashcan]

[dolls-self-ships]

thinking abt that time I went off on a guy at the train station for loudly preaching that women should obey and serve their husbands and we got into a fight and how it made the guy I was with not want to see me anymore and to cope I am thinking about how Lucifer would’ve actually been so proud of me for doing so and admire how I stood up for myself and other women in that moment

[popironrye]

What's the appropriate standard for shipping discourse?

Pretty much a vent post on the whole pro vs anti shipping discourse. This is gonna be a long one.

Would love to hear your thoughts on this, but please read the whole thing.

So I like and share a lot of shipping prompts, positive self-ship posts, and no shame attitude to fandom ocs and indulgence in general as a frequent oc shipper. I mean, it makes sense right. I create a lot of fan characters of my own and it's a fun time.

What I can't help but notice is how much more frequent it is to see positive shipping posts with an abundance of 'proship dni' stamped somewhere in the post. I tend to ignore them, as I do not call myself proship because I feel like it's an unnecessary label in shipping spaces, but this one post I saw was a very good self-ship positive post with the same 'proship dni' at the bottom, but the only comment on the post was the op talking about adults being sexual with minors and it made me pause.

If you hear the word pro-ship and immediately think of pedophilia, then I think that's more a you problem than anyone else.

The word 'pro' in proship is a prefix meaning 'in favor of'. As in an 'argument in favor of fictional shipping'. It doesn't mean "problematic shipping", at least not to a lot of people.

But that's where the problem lies. The standards of morality, especially in fiction, is actually incredibly subjective when you think about it and even the darkest of subjects have nuances to why the creator chooses to explore it. Where is the line drawn for what is considered 'the bad kind of proship'? Not every dark theme is created with the intended purpose to 'glorify' it.

You will never catch me defending or engaging in works of biological incest OR pedophilia, I don't care if it's fictional or not/meant to be screwed up or not. I have a problem with those types of subjects, but I certainly won't wish harm on people who do.

But beyond that, there's always the issue with the more pearl clutch types to view other types of ships as morally wrong in all sense, even if the creators don't. Like is it still problematic for fictional adults (both of legal age) because of a massive age gap? Is it problematic to ship villainous characters without completely rewriting them as to not have villainous traits? What about fictional monsters and murders? Are they not allowed to have human dynamics because they're monsters and murders?

Morality isn't as black and white as people think and it REALLY isn't black and white in fiction because fiction should be a place to explore the topics for all kinds of reasons.

In my many years of making fancharacters and sonas, not all of them exist for shipping, but some of the ships I do have are not all gonna be this perfect wholesome cotton candy clouded wonderland of niceness. Characters are flawed, it's what makes them more interesting. While I completely understand a lot of people not liking ships that are straight up abusive and a certain level of toxic (myself included) there are ways to write "problematic" ships in an interesting and thought provoking way.

I've come to a realization something about myself through my sonas. My sona ships either involve giant class difference/power dynamics or some exploitation. Basically it's either my sona lets themselves be taken care of by someone else or they take care of someone.

And for some oc ships, while there are plenty of wholesome cute ones, I've also dipped my toe in morally grey and even villainous personalities. Unwholesome things like mutual drug abuse and criminal activity. Codependent incapability. Brutal enemies to lovers. Actually got a few enemies to lovers funny enough. Huge age gaps (between adults). Master and mentor and of course canon villains being shipped at all.

While none of my ships have the obvious gross stuff people associate with proship, I know plenty of anti ship spaces who would have problems with other ships of mine for being too "toxic" or "problematic".

Basically what I wanna say, if you don't like a ship. Just scroll on. Mute the tags or block the poster, but move on to something you'll actually enjoy. And certainly don't attempt to dox, harass, or tell the posters you hope bad things happen to them.

[i-luv-v-614]

Tw for SH but it's in a funny way I swear

Sometimes, I want to become an overnight sensation on SHtwt, and then I remember that he wouldn't want that. And he wouldn't want me bawling my eyes out over silly things. So I won't, I'll comfort myself and see what tomorrow brings (usually the same bs, but we move on)

For legal reasons, this is a joke post. But sometimes being delulu is the solulu.

[frecklystars]

i have felt absolutely nothing for any of my F/Os lately and idk if coming back online will help. ive been offline since April just queueing literally everything and occasionally coming online if i need to vent and then deleting it and going offline again. my situation really drained me of all of my energy, constantly feeling unsafe and unable to self ship really hurt me. feeling unsafe both irl and with my F/Os really hurts me and i cannot emphasize how damaging it is to feel so unsafe all the time so consistently for 2 years. but im trying so hard to figure out how to bounce back bc my depression is so severe if im not self shipping. so. what do i do here

idk how to uh, reignite a hyperfixation that's 99% gone. genuinely, what do you do if youre autistic and your special interest of one year is fading out? i dont want to replace it with something else + im so depressed i cannot replace it with something else if i tried. i just wanna feel better with my ryan F/Os again even if it's just a little bit. just enough to keep me going

what do i even do? stream a movie night? take ryan character drawing requests/commissions? roleplay with friends who have offered to make F/O accounts interact with this blog? uhhh... man i dont know. ive watched all of ryan's movies except his older ones, and those aren't going to reignite my hyperfixation since i don't have any new characters to self ship with there

its 6am im just rambling into the void and i havent slept. i just wanted to vent 😭 ill delete this later

[blighthusband]

geo the selfshipper.

// 19 year old he/him lesbian with autism //

main : @sedimentarylesbian

SELFSHIP LIST;;;

✿ amity blight (the owl house)

❀ vaggie (hazbin hotel)

✿ emberlynn pinkle (helluva boss)

❀/➊ fluttershy (my little pony)

❀ belos/philip wittebane (the owl house)

❀ murdoc niccals (gorillaz)

✿ = no share romantic | ❀ = romantic | ➊ = platonic

dni: exclusionists of mspec lesbians/gays and other "contradictory" queer labels. terf/tirf/radfem. queerphobe. think pronouns = gender. pro-para/harmful paraphiles. anti-semitic/nazi. racist. generally any bigots. do not involve me in ship discourse as its pointless, real people are in the world being harmed.

[jessicas-pi]

it's actually, genuinely, honestly hilarious that in a fandom where popular ships include characters who are biologically related, characters with a 10+ year age gap who met when one was a teenager or even a child, and characters who have tried to kill each other, people hate on a friends-to-lovers ship with a <2 year age gap where the characters have a deep emotional bond and plenty of romantic subtext, because "they're siblings". my brother in the force they are literally not.

[rexscanonwife]

Ok I'm gonna be salty for just a sec because this has annoyed me ever since I started shipping with Barb

YEAH. THAT'S TOTALLY WHAT I WANTED, A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT CHARACTER THAN I FOLLOWED THE TAG FOR

[tireddovahkiin]

CW: VENT POST!!! mentions of depression/indirect mention of suicidal thoughts/unhealthy coping mechanisms

Y'all I've come to a conclusion that seeing self ship doubles MAKES ME MORE SAD THAN SEEING CANON X CANON SHIPS-

Like bc- they actually dont bother me THAT much, I think of them more like a 'alternative cursed universe where there could always be a posibillity for crazy stuff' ship. Yk, like, how there COULD be an alternative universe out there where every president of a country have to wear a maid dress or something idfk-

the world is vast and we don't know SHIT about it

BUT THE FUCKING- ... DOUBLES...

It actually really really breaks my heart... Almost like I'm watching a "thief" take away my most valuable treasure, yk... No offense to any doubles out there, you're valid, and you're no thief, you cannot choose who you love.

But I dunno... I also am very scared of "shadowbanning" in the self ship community... Like VERY scared.

With "shadowbanning" I mean, there being some bigger, more popular users on social media who are famous for being the (character's) spouse. The character we both self ship with. But of course, the popular one is going to gain much more attention and interactions because they have been self shipping for longer time, or their art/ s/is are very popular and likeable.

So, if I tried to break the ice through and consider myself the (character's) spouse, and share my self ship stuff on the platforms, I would be DOUBLE IGNORED, and FORGOTTEN above all.

And I cannot have the same mindset with the canon x canon ships, because I know that person DOES exist in real life. And that they the character much longer than me... And have merch... And celebrate anniversaries... And treat the relationship as a real one.

It's literally like a war... where the more 'loved' one wins.

Don't get me wrong. I ALSO want to do that form my own f/os. I WANT to build the a shrine, I WANT to treat my ship serious, I WANT to draw us, and to gather merch, I WANT to love my f/os as much as I feel love for them.

But sometimes, people are not able to fulfill their needs because of the situation/environment they're in.

For example, they could either be financially unstable, the country they live in has no 'merch' of the said media, the family is unsupportive and abusive, or just... Be VERY busy with life in general. Not being able to give attention to even the smallest things, like stuff they love to do in free time, let alone their beloved f/o.

.. I myself am in that situation. My country is poor, I am about to enter university, I am still healing from my past traumas/trying to get better and fight off the problems on my own, even if it is VERY difficult, and no one understands. I should already work and have a job, have MY money, ACT like an adult should, and become independent. But I am not. I was emotionally scarred, which left big impact on my (concerning) social, (terrifying) future, and (nonexistent) work life.

I basically depend off my parents, and know absolutely nothing in general, like- I feel hopeless, dissapointed. Scared above all. Because I think a part of me is still not ready to move on and grow up, and I already did.

So, if I cannot take care of MYSELF, how can I take care of the sacred relationship me and my f/os have, love I feel for them? The attention I oh so, DESPARATELY want to give them, yet I don't even give attention to my life, and try to hide away from everything? How can I even think about them if I cannot think about anything else?

... I dunno. I'm just... I just sometimes think I am underserving of such recognition, and to be called the (character's) lover/friend/family. Because, not do I "ignore" us, but I ignore my life, too.

With ignore, I mean, I TRY to survive every single day as the best I can. Get over it, then repeat again. For quite some time now. Cope with "stress" (when there IS NO actual stress) with unhealthy maladaptive daydreaming methods and isolation. And the stress is just... Life, in general.

Being a depression survivor is hard, because you're supposed to find a purpose for yourself, when you didn't even PICTURE yourself being THIS far. Keep going, while you're actually still somewhat struggling to find the path, and will to continue.

You isolate yourself from the world in your mind, your safe, comfort zone. Where anything good can happen, there's no stress, no duties, adultery, no work. You ghost people, avoid everyone and everything, stay in your home, and LITERALLY survive the day to the best of your abillity. Try to avoid thinking about ANYTHING else but you, your f/os, your perfect little world. You struggle with most simple things like getting up, eating the right ammount, doing things you like, taking care of yourself, but you're supposed to be an ADULT. To already KNOW how to take care of yourself, because FAR more worse things are waiting for you out there.

I love my f/os. But I don't love myself, what I have become. And that is what makes me worried the most. I cannot become what I want if I already act this terrible.