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#self tak
giftplane · 5 months
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You think of a knife, and the fragility of the human body. You think about splitting it apart to prove something, maybe to yourself. Proof that it's real, visceral.
more fic fanart can you believe it woahghhhhgh anyways this one is for @discatded 's fic TRY IT AGAIN, CHEATER! really enjoyed the new chapter felt something in my own bones reading it
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khaliarart · 1 year
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Finally got around to take a photo of my IZ merchandise for Dokomi <3
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haomnyangz · 1 year
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EPISODE 10 THE UNCANNY COUNTER S2: COUNTER PUNCH (2023)
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irkendogma · 4 months
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i wouldn't count it as poll propaganda because it's a direct transcription of 3:35 am discord groupchat word vomit but in regards to plans for another takcest fic
was thinking on how to do the shift from the fic-described personality upload of a near 1:1 of tak's actual personality vs the initial idea concept of takship as "more perfect", because i DO still want to go for the latter but with the fic ending up establishing that tak has a level of pained reluctance to destroy/crush down a mirror of herself, however unsightly it appears from an outside perspective, it kind of throws a wrench in the logistics of it but in the process of wondering how the personality upload would work anyway i reached a tentative conclusion of like takship, while initially in sullen denial even after having comprehensive, objective documentation of how she was created and what she is added to her databases, gradually latches onto tak for taking care of her when, unlike in the body she feels like she had once, she's incapable of moving or truly looking after herself on her own at the same time tak is latching onto takship for similar "experiencing regular social contact with someone who's not constantly trying to put her down" reasons, and in doing so she's letting her guard down bit by bit, letting the more vulnerable, wounded parts of herself show - takship, seeing this, becomes more and more aware of exactly the abysmal mental and psychological state she was copied from because tak can grow and change, like any living thing, but takship's self is set in code - it's a slow, painful realization that if she clings onto her perceived identity, she'll be hurting and viciously upset forever. the only tak she can be is the tak who's still desperately grieving what she was supposed to achieve and so eventually takship manages to ask for her code to be changed after all - make moving her hull-appendages come more naturally. make it feel okay that she can't stand on two legs and use two arms at the same time. make her exist in a way that she can stand, if she's going to exist this way forever
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codeinenjoyer · 2 months
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tw: sh, 0d
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butnotbubblegum · 2 months
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using the tags to vent my current emotional state into the void bc ig story feels like a bad plan for this, don’t read them if you’re having a bad day, they’ll probably not help in the slightest.
#but jesus christ coming back home while already knee deep in a suicidal episode was an awful idea#like i was maybe on the verge of improving and then i came back to all of this family bullshit#and the place as well like it’s so. i don’t want to say isolated necessarily. but so much it’s own little bubble#and i spent the last eight or nine years i lived here depressed and the last six suicidal#and being back here feels like the actual place is telling me to die#and i don’t think it helps that every place i go i know or know of someone who successfully committed suicide#like. oh this person drowned themself here. or that person hung themself in these woods. or several people jumped off the side of this clif#like. it all feels like reminders of my failures. and it’s like. cmon. wouldn’t it be easy. all you need to do is jump. is slit your throat#is find a decent piece of rope. idk. but everything is so much and i just want it to stop and it feels like the ground itself#is giving me a way to do it.#i genuinely feel like i’m like 16 or 17 again. and everything that isn’t within these hills#feels like a haze and not actually real. like the concept of buxton doesn’t actually exist and my friends do not actually exist and nothing#actually exists except the place i’m in and my family and the pub#i think going back to work at the pub was a mistake; i think it’s making this worse. especially because it’s henry’s dad’s local#and where henry’s wake was. and nothing there has changed at all. it’s like the whole last year never happened.#and i only need to get through two more days but it feels like an impossible task and i keep thinking being back in york will fix me but id#if that even true like. i was suicidal before i left. and it’s going to be intense and stressful and then i have to leave again.#come back here and do three full weeks of this all over again. i haven’t even managed two yet this time around. and i feel like#such a failure and such a drain on my friends (and on one in particular) because it just#is so much and has been so long and everything is complicated and awful and i think if i hadn’t come back i’d be in a normal mental state#by now. that’s the worst fucking part. and also the whole thing of i know how to be suicidal here. i know how to not give a shit about#living here. i know how to do that. but ive never had to try before. like im trying to improve and im trying to hold on and hold off the#urges to kill myself or self harm or whatever because i said i would and because i KNOW it can be better than this and bc i love my friends#and they love me and i don’t want to upset them or make them anxious or anything like that and kat made me promise to try and im trying so#fucking hard and it feels like it’s not even worth the effort because it’s so much effort and everything is so overwhelming and awful and i#hate the way my family interacts and i just want everything to stop and idc if suicide is the cowards way out or selfish or whatever#bullshit people say it feels like the only option i can actually withstand because everything is so much pain and so much effort and so muc#everything and i can’t deal with it anymore. and also i forgot just how much i have to fucking mask in front of my parents and especially m#father and it’s so exhausting and i can’t sleep and there’s so much yelling and i just need it all to stop#i’ve had major breakdowns the last 3 nights about wanting to die so much & trying so hard to not let myself & idk how much longer i can tak
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littlemissgloomexe · 7 months
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Hugz for everyone!!! :D
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mashedbootatoes · 1 year
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Chit-Chat !! (@_@)
[ ZADR DNI ]
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matthewtak · 4 months
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Daily Sketch: Selfie
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When hero cats and tak became friends or enemies?
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krysztal-gorski · 4 months
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Są plusy i minusy amnezji nikotynowej, nie pamiętam złych rzeczy z przeszłości ale nie pamiętam też tych dobrych które były dla mnie ważne.
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rainyjayys · 4 months
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hhey gusy i jusr wanted to say,,, ,, you guys r all superduper cool and ndont let anyone tell you ojtherwise okay goodnight its 3am
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prfm-multiverse · 5 months
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Yasutaka Nakata was involved in two productions for the TM NETWORK TRIBUTE ALBUM -40TH CELEBRATION-. Yasutaka Nakata did the arrangement together with Tak Matsumoto for B'z cover of Get Wild and contributed the synth.
Self Control by CAPSULE is listed with a 4:14 running time.
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afoolishpoet · 1 year
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Bhai kisi bhi din ab result aa sakta hai to agar update na mile meri taraf se to samajh lena (⁠⌐⁠■⁠-⁠■⁠)
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irkendogma · 8 months
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luxlius · 8 months
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no tutaj też nie ma bajki 💀💀also 12 minut na egzamin mamy XD
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