#shamanic initiation

[anthropologistfromentropy]

Anyone else who is spiritual and who's parent is also spiritual, but condescending/underestimating you repeatedly?

It also frustrates me how my dad completely disregards the value of learning from other people. Like I have been on this path for 10 years, I *know* the importance of discernment and listening to my intuition. That doesn't mean it should be my only guide, tho.

And as someone who has experienced shaman sickness, I know it can be really dangerous if you don't have someone experienced supporting you. It can and has actually killed people or driven them mad.

It's basically like a spiritual version of alcohol detoxification in a way, a very intense and miserable experience of going through all your trauma and shadow stuff in order to learn to heal yourself. And like the physical kind, it's definitely no joke. I had a shaman mentor and 2 years of trauma therapy and it still nearly broke me.

Like come on man, do some research before you spread such dangerous and unethical advice.

It's probably mostly ego and ageism. Maybe partly a New Age thing - It's relatively new, there's no established tradition of spiritual mentors, and unfortunately a lot of unethical grifters

(*Cough* He's frankly the one with poorer discernment, given he fell for Q-anon *cough*)

[yebreed]

Shamanic Illness through the Eyes of an Insider

Shamanic illness is a particular condition occurring when a person is summoned by spirits. This is a life-threatening experience of an initiative nature. A person leaves the human world and enters into the threefold shamanic realm.

In winter, on one of the warm days, I was riding a horse and looking for my deer. Night was drawing nigh; suddenly I felt like someone’s hand hit me hard in the back; my entire body was pierced with cold, as if someone had poured ice water over me.

I raised my head and saw three ravens: one was white-headed, the other was motley, and the third was black. Curious, I’ve been staring hard, then fainted and fell to the ground. Falling, I heard someone’s voice: “It turns out that the one we are looking for is here.”

[shamanflavio]

Another way to Create Your Reality

One of the definitions for the word: “Realization” is, “the fulfillment or achievement of something desired or anticipated”. This was a word that took a little time for me to reclassify within my vocabulary while I was pursuing my degree in mysticism. It makes so much sense though, to realize is to literally make something “real”, at least in the sense of the word as we understand it. It’s to…

[seeinginthedark]

My advice for people who are being attacked by demons recently. It’s on the rise . Our spiritual warriors are under attack. I give some tips based on my successful attempts at stopping these attacks . They might not work for everyone. I hope it helps these people . Your time for justice is coming.

[shamandrummer]

Initiation into Shamanism

Shamanic initiation is a rite of passage, connecting the apprentice shaman intimately to Spirit. It is probably the most powerful and least understood of all forms of spiritual awakening. It is not achieved by having mastered a body of knowledge or having completed some long-term training program. Though it may be set in motion by an apprentice's human teachers as part of an ordered training process, authentic initiation can only be conveyed by the spirits themselves. Ultimately, shamanic initiation takes place between the initiate and the spirit world. It is the spirits who choose and make the shaman.

The most frequent and most genuine manner of shamanic initiation is that of crisis, often involving psychological and physical suffering. The encounter with illness, suffering, and death not only opens the world of the spirits to the shaman, it also provides an experiential ground for the healing work that the shaman will later be doing. Election can also occur through heredity, signs at birth, a proclivity or gift that is recognized in childhood, through a realization arising in the course of a ceremonial event, or in the experience of a vision quest.

Shamanic initiation is typically the final step in becoming a shamanic healer, a process that is facilitated by the aspirant's shamanic teachers as part of a training regimen. However, initiation may also be spontaneous, set in motion by Spirit's intervention into the initiate's life. To be initiated by a helping spirit forever transforms your life. For the uninitiated, this can be problematic to say the least. They may have no clear idea of what is happening to them, and may find themselves overwhelmed by fear of their nonordinary experience.

The Dismemberment Journey

Initiation into shamanhood often involves the visionary experience of symbolic dismemberment--the experience of being taken apart, devoured, or torn to pieces. In a classic dismemberment journey, the apprentice witnesses their own body being torn apart and perhaps completely destroyed. The apprentice dies a symbolic death and is then restored and brought back to life, whole and empowered. At its deepest level, the dismemberment experience dismantles our old identity. It is a powerful death-and-rebirth process. The experience of being stripped layer by layer, down to bare bones forces us to examine the bare essence of what we truly are.

Anthropologist Felicitas Goodman, the modern discoverer of Ecstatic Body Postures, notes that Siberian shamans considered dismemberment to be an essential phase of initiation for healers. Goodman researched and explored ritual body postures as a means to achieve a bodily induced trance experience and discovered that this archetype appears to be universal. In her trance work with Westerners, those who experienced spontaneous dismemberment visions were invariably destined to become various kinds of healers.

Completing this restorative rite is precisely the task of the shaman. As Joan Halifax explains in her book Shamanic Voices, "The shaman is a healed healer who has retrieved the broken pieces of his or her body and psyche and, through a personal rite of transformation, has integrated many planes of life experience: the body and the spirit, the ordinary and nonordinary, the individual and the community, nature and supernature, the mythic and the historical, the past, the present and the future." The cure for dismemberment is remembering who we actually are. As Halifax puts it, "To bring back to an original state that which was in primordial times whole and is now broken and dismembered is not only an act of unification, but also a divine remembrance of a time when a complete reality existed."(1)

Shamanic initiation functions as a transformer--it causes a radical change in the initiate forever. An initiation marks a transition into a new way of being in the world. It informs us about the mystery of life and death. According to noted shamanic teacher and author Sandra Ingerman, "Initiation is the death, dismembering, and dissolving of old forms, structures, and ways of life. And I have come to understand that true initiation is allowing Spirit to sing into creation the new forms and new creations. Allowing Spirit to sing formlessness into form creates a new evolution of consciousness."(2)

Shamanic initiation is complicated, profound and nothing short of life-altering--in the best possible way. While it may not be easy, it will improve your life for the better with patience, trial and error, and the passage of time. If you find yourself in one, all you can do is trust the process, hang on tight, and get ready for a newly awakened life.

Global Dismemberment

There is so much more to discover and explore about shamanic initiations and the deep spiritual knowledge held in Indigenous cultures. Now that the present world-age during which all human civilization developed is ending, it might be time to pay more attention to the experience of those whose world has already ended: Indigenous peoples. Depending on how you count them, there may be up to three hundred million Indigenous people still on the planet. Most are survivors of colonialism. The genocide of the Indigenous peoples was the beginning of the modern world for Europeans, but the former remain as veritable end of the world experts. Models for restoring our relationship with the earth exist in the cultures of Indigenous peoples, whose values and skills have enabled them to survive centuries of invasion and exploitation.

From an Indigenous perspective, the global climate and ecological crisis represents a mass shamanic dismemberment--the experience of being taken apart, devoured, or torn to pieces on a global scale, allowing for a shift of awareness and transformation of collective consciousness. The acceleration of planetary crises can either provoke a planetary awakening and a shift into a regenerative planetary culture based on shamanic wisdom and sustainable principles, or a destruction of human civilization in its current form, and perhaps extinction for our species. We are all responsible, for better or worse.

As the global upheaval intensifies, our interest in shamanism represents an attempt to retrieve and include a part of our inner and outer lives that technology and civilization has consistently denied, suppressed, or destroyed since the advent of agriculture. The cultural imprinting of hierarchical, agriculturally based societies leaves the individual outside the realm of personal spiritual experience. Any sense of the Great Mystery is beyond the individual's grasp. In the contemporary world, where our rites of passage for young men mean going to war, in a world where social turmoil and environmental disaster induce fear, anxiety and despair, the way of the shaman, the one who is a master of the initiatic crisis, might well be of great value for all of us.

Joan Halifax, Shamanic Voices: A Survey of Visionary Narratives (Penguin, 1991), pp. 18-22.

Sandra Ingerman. "Messages from Sandra Ingerman." Transmutation News (Mar. 2011): https://www.sandraingerman.com/transmutation-news/english/english-2011/page/2/.

[ascendingaeons]

Things Hidden and Revealed

Much of what I write and post here is eighty percent meticulous research, twelve percent intuition or UPG, and eight percent personal feelings and experience. What I choose not to write is far more interesting. It is exactly those experiences that I keep to myself for fear of ridicule or misunderstanding. I want to share just a few.

1. My mother died when I was a toddler. She had a cerebral aneurysm while I was playing in the kitchen but her soul left her body before her heart stopped beating. She was practically dragged to the other side because the part of her that was human didn’t want to leave me. Sadly for us both, she had Work yet to be done. As I grew up, she was my principal spirit guide. I would hear her voice coming from everywhere and nowhere. She taught me lessons in metaphysics that I verified through thorough research and guided my Initiation using transmissions and dreams. As my nervous system grew accustomed to manipulating energy she would speak to me through my energy meridians. Others who performed energy work on me have been able to corroborate my mom’s connection to my light body, meticulously describing her appearance, personality, and private experiences while never having met her.

2. I’ve noticed that most of the discarnate souls I interact with through shamanic trance and reiki always wear the same white robes, something that other energy workers have corroborated with knowing laughter. A few who feel profoundly connected to certain incarnations choose to wear clothing from other periods or the modern day.

3. Once around July 3rd I was doing a reading in shamanic trance. Suddenly I heard fireworks go off in the distance and I was immediately transported into a previous incarnation. I was a young man fighting on the Western Front during World War 1, an E-2 in the United States Army’s Expeditionary Forces just trying to reach the end of the war. I was overwhelmed by the thoughts and emotions of that incarnation, reliving the sights, sounds, and smells of combat. I started to sob as I watched my friends die once more. We are far more than the composites of body, heart, and mind. We are each a living nexus of all that we have ever experienced.

4. I went into shamanic trance while I was at Disney World during my honeymoon and it was one of the most intense sessions I ever experienced. I was instructed by guides to not attempt trancework the day before because I was recovering from heat exhaustion and I quickly came to see why. As I opened my channel I started laughing uncontrollably as I became flooded by the emotions all around me. For every single person present there were at least two to five spirit guides and they were all having a blast. It was easily the most powerful and clear session I’ve ever had. The phrase “happiest place on Earth” took on a whole new meaning for me that evening.

As you can see, these aren’t exactly the kinds of stories you’d expect to read in a reputable book concerning occult or spiritual practice. Nevertheless, they are genuine and meaningful to me. Every transmission, reading, and synchronicity I've had is later verified or validated through research or experience. There were a lot of things I had to open my mind to before becoming the person and practitioner I am today. The hardest thing, I've found, was to learn to trust my intuition. Funny how that works!

[thesearchforbluejello]

Okay is it any wonder that series about the ancient Amazons never aired? Whoooof.

Also I've lost count of how many times Karl Urban has now been in this show

[wowhead]

HE GOT A PROMOTION!

[assorted-things]

My spicy hot take is that I actually think Jin Mu needed more screentime, so that he could have had a more developed motivation and backstory...

[vimbry]

I won't lie, x.avier r.enegade angel's design kinda rules tho it's great. weird man bird head, digitigrade legs. 6 nipples. trainers. what's not to like about him.

[bookofdan]

The Near-Death Experience as a Shamanic Initiation: A Case Study

J. Timothy Green, Ph.D.

ABSTRACT: The field of near-death studies shares a number of interesting, often compelling, similarities with the ancient spiritual tradition known as shamanism. Not least among these similarities is the fact that a near-death experience (NDE) is a time-honored form of shamanic initiation. I present a case example illustrating how a deep NDE can propel a person who had no prior knowledge or interest in shamanism into spontaneous, often classic, shamanic experiences, while living an apparently normal life in the midst of modern Western society.

[mint-fixates]

Going more in depth with my many, very long thoughts on the AU concept I discussed in a previous post, which I'm calling "Domesticated Bill AU" based on a suggestion from the replies (TL;DR it's just a "What if Bill wasn't evil" AU)

First major difference: No Euclydian massacre. Bill doesn't destroy his home dimension, he just gets sick of them trying to suppress his gift and leaves. Something something he still ends up getting trapped in the Nightmare Realm while looking for a more exciting and accepting world

He spends a lot of time partying and getting up to mischief while hanging out with the Henchmaniacs (who still look up to him as a leader, but have more of an equals/genuine friends relationship with him rather than a boss/minion relationship), but after a billion years or so that starts to get boring. When they realize the Nightmare Dimension is unraveling, Bill has the idea to get someone to make a portal for him, like in canon, BUT Weirdmageddon is never part of the plan. He just needs a way to safely get himself and his friends out of the Nightmare Realm before it unravels, no apocalypse required

Bill still has a series of failed partnerships because no one has the technology to build the portal or because they can't match his freak and get fed up with him and call the deal off. But there's no evil retribution on anyone who fails to make it. He's chaotic neutral at worst, so most of his impact on history is similar to canon!Bill helping the Salem witches free themselves- but because of Earth's societal standards and expectations, he still gets painted as evil for these sorts of acts.

Bill meets Stanford under the same circumstances- Ford finds out about him and summons him to help when he hits a roadblock in his research (though he finds him through different means since there's no shaman warning/prophecy). The only initial difference is that Bill is fully honest about the intention of the portal, because he has nothing to hide.

Bill is still a bit emotionally immature and jealous of Fiddleford but generally their relationship is much healthier. Ford still worships and puts Bill on a pedestal at first, but as they get closer over time he realizes that they're equals, kindred spirits. Bill delights in having someone and who finds his weirdness intriguing and endearing rather than being put off by it. They both love having someone they can relate to, someone on a similar level of intelligence, someone they never have to filter themselves around, and with all that in mind it's really inevitable that they fall for each other.

The portal is a success, and Ford makes a ton of money and earns his place in scientific history for his brilliant discovery, but credits Bill with half the workload since he can now prove Bill is, y'know, real and not a hallucination. People are still a bit weirded out by Bill and prefer the idea of a human success story, so as far as the press is concerned, it was 99% Stanford. Fiddleford is not credited at his own request, preferring to live a quiet life while knowing he helped make the world a bit better.

Fiddleford is still crushing hard on an oblivious Ford throughout the portal-building process like canon implies, but once the portal finished and Ford can introduce him to/explain his relationship with Bill, Fidds gracefully bows out and goes back to working on making personal computers and on focusing on his family. He and Ford are still good friends and regularly email and call each other which Bill hates but begrudgingly tolerates

Bill and his friends take a tour of the multiverse to decide where they want to settle, but Bill's thoughts keep drifting back to Stanford. Ford is also touring the multiverse for research purposes, which has disrupted their ability to communicate mentally, and Bill realizes how much he misses him. They both eventually go back to Dimension 46'\ and get married. Bill finds Earth a bit boring sometimes and occasionally goes on vacations to other dimensions with Ford and/or the Henchmaniacs, but "home" for him and Ford is always Gravity Falls.

Stanley calls Ford to congratulate him on his success and they reconnect, both apologizing for their fight. Ford finds out that Stanley is homeless and immediately hires him as his publicist since he's constantly being bombarded with interview requests and the like. Stanley ends up getting his own place in Gravity Falls to be closer to work and his brother.

Dipper and Mabel's parents are going through some Things™ and decide to send the twins off to live it up with their rich, successful Grunkle Ford for the summer. Gravity Falls is still weird but the twins now have a great uncle who actively encourages and assists them on all their weird supernatural and conspiratorial adventures. And, of course, their weird extradimensional triangle great-uncle-in-law is more than happy to help them cause some trouble and solve some mysteries too (Bill 10000% helped Mabel kidnap Sev'ral Timez and hide them from Ford, suggested using the Lilliputtians to cheat in her mini-golf game against Pacifica, etc.)

Stanley and his personal assistant Soos still make frequent appearances at Ford's house, and Wendy is also there (haven't quite figured out how she fits into this yet), so Dipper and Mabel are still close with all of them like in canon

Mabel still meets and becomes besties with Candy and Grenda, just under different circumstances.

Pacifica's parents initially contact Stanford to hire him to dispose of their ghost problem, but he passes it off to Dipper because he and Bill are going to visit Bill's parents in Euclydia. So NWMM/Pacifica's character development plays out mostly the same way as canon

Gideon still meets and becomes obsessed with Mabel, but without the journals as a source of power and motivation, he has no ambition to steal the Shack or means to almost kill Dipper. He's still kind of a stalker towards Mabel but a mostly harmless one- especially after Ford, Bill, and Stanley find out he's been bothering her and have a Friendly Chat with him.

The journals still exist, but they're not hidden, they're just chilling on Ford's bookshelf. He originally intended to publish them but forgot about it with all the hype around the portal. Ford gives them to Dipper to help out with the twins' adventures for when he's busy and can't go help them personally.

[seeinginthedark]

This is what I believe in my heart and in my soul . My heart and soul have synced in and the communication line between is clear . Same goes for my subconscious, after rigorous shadow self work. As for my mind , I’ve synced in my left and right brain hemispheres. I did this in 2022. So they are balanced and healthy . I am of sane mind . I won’t be gaslighted anymore by anyone , any man , any institution and not even gaslighted by myself .

Here we go, strap in .

If you’ve been reading my blogs , you will know that I’m on a mission. I have a psychosis but, as I keep reiterating, a psychosis means different things depending what culture your from. In Indigenous cultures(who are more closer to the Earth and nature) a psychosis is a ‘spiritual situation’ . In the western medicine world , it’s a mental illness. People get scared during a psychosis and don’t know how to handle it. I handle it. I don’t get scared or paranoid. I don’t have hallucinations or hear voices . I know the difference between a delusion and a sign , a message from the ancestors .

The videos I made in 2022, contain information that I didn’t understand at the time , suddenly now have become relevant. They were warning me of what to watch out for .

We are in a spiritual situation. A war. An attack on our souls . An ongoing oppression. Being drained of our humanity.

To be turned into something un-natural and mechanic. And we won’t allow this happen.

The ancestors that made it to the afterlife (instead of a reincarnation soul trap ) are building alliances with spirits of this Earth, of nature and of the inner Earth. I’m dead serious about this .

A lot of us today are souls of our ancestors who chose to leave the astral afterlife realm to come here in this modern world . They are Mother Earths army. We are at the front line now . The children of today have been absolutely bombarded with screens, technology and toxic social media . In an effort to neutralise us , make us forget who we are and forget what’s important in life . This wave of children , are born already spiritually activated and awake . They have immense spiritual potency and magic-like abilities. They are our salvation now .

A lot of people however , are getting confused thinking they a star seeds or thinking they were meant to be a different gender . These are trends and narratives that have been articulately planted on purpose for the reason to distract and confuse and cause social division . And self identity issues .

Please, if you have one of these special children , who are from magic bloodlines , please take care of them . Nurture them and their abilities. Do not crush their imagination- as it is one of their magical traits . Please limit the amount of screen time they are having. I know it’s hard and we are all busy trying to get by and have to work and have so many things on our plate but please don’t pacify them with iPads and tablets and phones . It inhibits their development. It inhibits their social skills . It socially programs them.

Get them outside in nature as much as possible . Listen to them. Let them have a voice . Let them express themselves creatively. Treasure them . Love them unconditionally. They are here to change the world. I don’t want to see any of these children grow up and be plugged into a permanent virtual reality . With microchips in their brains . With non -organic robotic add ons . Stuck in the simulation. Their souls recycled back into this system when they die . Their souls need to be free, as all of our souls should be .

We can beat this A.I take -over . Together . United . Strong . Keep your vibes high . Self care. Heal from your trauma. Be the powerful spiritual warrior you were born to be . For Earth. For our souls . This is it.

[slavonicrhapsody]

honestly i think the most that can be assumed from hornsent wearing the caterpillar mask is that hes okay with the jarring process, since it has such heavy connections to bonny village+the gaols, plus i think itd make an interesting parallel to marika where you have these two traumatized characters who lost everything to horrific acts of violence whod them go on to condone OTHER horrific acts of violence just because it happened to The Other Guy (hornsent losing his family to the crusade, being okay with jarring shamans cuz its an important ritual of his people and he desperately struggles to retain any last connection he can to them; marika losing her family to jarring, sending messmer to crusade against the hornsent without caring about his methods just so shed have her vengeance)

theres even something to be drawn about marika from how hornsents quest ends ("if miquellas redemption would quell the desire for revenge i feel, then i dont think i want him to redeem anything after all" <-poorly summarized dialogue lmao) wherein, combined with the shaman village lore, we can draw the parallel that marika didnt *want* her thirst for vengeance slaked, because much like how killing messmer didnt bring back any of hornsents people, becoming a god was equally disatisfying for marika. in much the same way marika tramples over corpses to become a god, hornsent metaphorically walks over messmers corpse to try and take his place as crusader, this time against the people of the erdtree.

it also paints messmer in a REALLY interesting light. hornsent is so consumed by revenge he doesnt focus on anything else beyond a nostalgic reminiscence. miquellas goal, as told to him, is to give the hornsent a chance at peace and to rebuild, and hornsent would rather sacrifice that to feed his own flames of vengeance. similarly we can assume marika never told messmer the location of bonny village or the gaols because theyre untouched by the crusade, despite definitely knowing where they are, and the gaols indicate that even after bonny village stopped sending jars, they remained in use by utilizing prisoners (potentially even prisoners of war+deserting soldiers) for at least SOME time before we find them. indicating that also, to marika, it was the death that was important. the fear, and the killing, and the slaughter. messmer by contrast sets up a clinic for the jarred shamans, is capable of being convinced against crusading and burning certain areas such as salza arguing in favor of sparing rauh, and has a library dedicated to the people hes genociding that stores information about their culture and anatomy (judging by the models he has hanging in the storeroom).

messmer, who places himself symbolically between the hornsent and marika to spare her the shame of being the face of the crusade, committing atrocities out of sympathy and love for his mother, vs hornsent who desires to commit atrocities out of an overwhelming need for revenge, vs marika who DID commit atrocities for revenge and desired them to never stop even if it meant losing the things she cared about (despite initially showering messmer with blessings and affection and special physiks, eventually she stopped saying anything at all about the war without grace or honor, and only miquellas prying reveals it all again, including the son she loved and left behind)

like UGHHHH i LOVEEE when characters have foils and you can use the patchwork of lore to help fill in the blanks about everyone theyre connected to

oh Hornsent and Marika are ABSOLUTELY meant to be parallels… both are on revenge quests where their goal is to keep killing and killing until every single person related to their enemy is dead. Marika has Messmer burn the Hornsent cities to the ground in vengeance for her murdered village, but most of these people were civilians, farmers… familes and their children who had probably never even seen a jar — their only crime was to be part of the same society.

Hornsent, though he despises Marika and Messmer for burning his family to death, does exactly the same thing that she did: he vows to kill Marika and ALL her kin, and he goes after us even if we helped him simply because we are one of Marika’s chosen. It doesn’t matter that we gave him scorpion stew and that I’m sure deep down he wants to like us, we were always marked for death in his eyes just because of who we are.

This is exactly the purpose of the caterpillar mask… feeling any guilt or regret about his actions would get in the way of Hornsent’s sworn mission. Hornsent having this mask implies that he had some knowledge of what the potentates did and sought out their attire for their violent rituals as a touchstone for his own violent quest. A lot of people act as if the jarring process was something the entire hornsent population explicitly believed in and supported, and it’s true that the practice is basically built into the society’s entire prison system, but the ritual slaughter and jar worship are implied to be esoteric practices carried out only by specific groups of people… I highly doubt this is a practice that every Hornsent knows of intimately and enthusiastically supports. And we know some did explicitly oppose the jar rituals; the greater potentate who wrote the cookbooks we find was disgusted by the practices of his village. So Hornsent finding and wearing the potentate mask is like him knowingly embracing the darkest, most violent parts of his society in order to use them against their enemies.

Messmer’s position in this story really is interesting because with Hornsent’s quest, he’s set up to be like his “final boss,” the guy who cruelly slaughtered his people and called them savages. But when we actually get to Messmer, he’s so much more subdued then we’d have thought, like an apathetic shell of his former self… he doesn’t even verbally acknowledge Hornsent’s presence, like he means nothing to him. The war against the Hornsent was never Messmer’s war, it was Marika’s. Messmer carried out this violence in vengeance for his mother and her village, but when Marika stops speaking to him altogether, the war starts to feel more and more like pointless violence, like he’s just going through the motions.

I won’t go so far as to say that Messmer had much sympathy for the Hornsent he was murdering; the specimen storehouse was more of a project said to be created by his fire knights who were uncomfortable about letting an entire society’s knowledge go up in flames (but chose to burn it anyway). but he absolutely has a different attitude than his mother… he feels more like her tool… used up and discarded

and lol no worries

[ascendingaeons]

The Crux of My Journey

“Mind the lessons of the past, but burden yourself not with the cares of ghosts. They cannot trouble you if you do not embrace them.”

Adept Susan Wylie - “Corridors of Light and Shadow,” Ruby Tablet of Set

“Life is an unfoldment, and the further we travel the more truth we can comprehend. To understand the things that are at our door is the best preparation for understanding those that lie beyond.”

Hypatia of Alexandria

I was seventeen when I began to practice shamanic trance. My shamanic journey began with a dream. In this dream, I was exploring a subterranean necropolis until I came across a door that was not a door. All at once, I found myself in a library that was mine but not mine. It was a sacred space that I was to return to many years later in meditation during my Reiki I° class. But, for the time being, it was an awakening. Before long I discovered the power of movement, rhythm, and vibration in altering states of consciousness. Perhaps it is better to say I remembered.

In my first experience with shamanic trance, I found myself traversing the planes of the classical elements. I trekked across the savannas and mountains of the Plane of Earth. In the twilight of the Plane of Water, I danced with its denizens and came to discern the stagecraft of my Shadow. Within the Plane of Air, I beheld the scions of noetic understanding. Beyond that, I soared through the Plane of Fire, across empyrean skies inflamed and infuriated with an ecstasy that has inspired humanity into madness. Rising beyond I beheld a vast ocean of Stars, glistening souls cast against the inky blackness; such was Quintessence. Unexpectedly, my gaze turned towards the ground far below and I knew I was not to remain. So, I chose to sink back down, away from their radiance. The experience was to come full circle upon meeting my soulmate, for he was the first to encourage me to rise while being the one into whose embrace I would so willingly return.

I experienced the numinous as a visage both black and blinding. This was not experienced through sight as much as it was through being. I was everything and nothing, within and beyond, experiencing the colliding, extravagant cycle of death and rebirth. I came to witness the notion of Self with eyes unclouded. It exists between the framework of what we believe to be ourselves. From this, I came to understand cosmos and psyche in an entirely new light. My eyes were forever opened to the precious potential of humanity and the immortality of consciousness. In terrible darkness can be found numinous light. In my experience, shadow is not inherently deceptive for its very nature is revelation and a light cast upon mirrors creates far greater confusion than one extinguished.

I lived the tale of a being that was once a vitki, a Scandinavian sorcerer, but had aged from knowledge to the point of resembling a withered husk. I experienced a memory of his younger days, traversing a timeworn forest in a relentless thunderstorm. Above me, I saw what I would describe as an anti-sky, as though I was walking through the quagmires of Hel. As I gazed upon those clouds, I bore a deep knowing that they were apertures to Aeons both great and terrible. The skies sang, the earth groaned and so it was until I reached a sanctuary in the form of ancient ruins and the yawing maw of a cave beyond—a sign that for every bright sunrise, there is always another night to be conquered. This was the only spot in the forest that saw sunlight. And so, I beheld what remained of a great temple and in that pristine moment, I knew I stood upon hallowed grounds where the ancients still breathed. Through shamanic flight, I would return to these ruins many years later and into the cave system just beyond. In the heart of the cavern, I would learn the means to reach other territories of Spirit, the first being the sanctum of Sekhmet.

I stood upon an emerald cliff before sapphire shores, the Vanir behind me and the Aesir before me. I witnessed my brothers sail off into the great unknown. Their chants and songs rang out against the billowing winds and raging seas until they disappeared beyond the horizon. I solemnly turned and walked into the ageless groves, away from what was expected of me and into the deep, eternal embrace of the Earth. This would prove to be a lesson of great value, one that would take a great while to learn.

It witnessed a pharaonic funeral with an empty sarcophagus and walked in the body of an embittered, disgraced priest of Aten. I experienced his journey of healing that lasted nearly two decades, far from the glistening sands of his homeland. I witnessed his return to a nation that would not recognize him and walked the hallowed grounds of an overgrown temple where he would offer in sacrifice his divine ka to the Netjeru. In exchange, the old man besought the Two Lands and their people healed and redeemed. As I lived, he spoke, and I recorded what I could.

“The life of a newborn child is not defined by his anthropological sinews, yet he is their herald in flesh irrespective of his desire. As the child learns – no, it would be practical to bestow consideration to chance; should the child learn to use causality as an extension of his Will, so too may he begin to grasp all that has been sacrificed and accomplished just so that he may behold this physical world with his own eyes, touch the elements and treasure the miseries and joys of Love, experience the chemistry of pleasure and pain, glory in his individuality and the ongoing eruptions of Will that light the Universe aflame, and feel the pride swelling in him for the celestial rivers of life that cascade within his veins. Since the first monumental and alchemical sunrise over the Black Lands, known therein as Kemet in aspects both terrestrial and visionary, the Netjeru have erected endless skies and buried them just as effortlessly. Every man and every woman are borne of the Netjeru as flesh and blood.”

We are children of a divided cosmos, saplings conceived by the union of Earth and Sky. We possess the capacity for profound healing but find it to be an unconquerable sun, rejecting the notion that we are, in fact, the very Star we fear to surmount. Our demons are part of us just as much as our dreams. Better they be treated with love and compassion than rejection and infamy. We are capable of such greatness but forget that greatness always begins on one’s own terms.

This year I will turn thirty-five and I can say with confidence that I have only just begun to live. I was born with clairvoyance, clairaudience, and clairsentience—the abilities to see, hear, and feel on degrees beyond our dense reality. I like to say that I was born with “one foot in the river;” one step in the foothills of Life and another in the river of Death. I am entirely comfortable with the concept of death as I know it is merely a transition to another state of being. Death is a homecoming, a return to what you always were. I don’t just perceive Spirit, I experience It. For most of my life, I was in denial of that fact, so much that during my first dark night of the soul, I suppressed my gifts altogether and would continue to do so for nearly a decade.

It wasn’t until I found myself in the position to teach, to pass down what experience and wisdom I have attained to someone eager to learn and discover their own Path. I have had a few students but one in particular left an undeniable mark. This apprenticeship wasn’t to last and I soon parted ways with them but with the realization that they had given me a gift—they had reunited me with my Path and Opened the Way. I have since come to learn that this individual was my twin flame; whether or not we cross paths again remains to be seen. Years later, it was in meeting my soulmate that everything that was lost and scattered began to coalesce. When you meet the right person in the right place at the right time, everything stops and a moment in time becomes truly eternal. In that precious moment, another soul becomes a window to our own.

The sum composite of my being exists far beyond this reality, a realization that came later than I would like. My purpose in life is not to grasp such things, for Thou Art That. As much as I love to learn and theorize, I came into this body, first and foremost, to help people. The first way to do this is to be my authentic self. By living in accordance with my True Will, I find myself in a position to master my own existence and in doing so will attract what is in resonance with that. I’ve found this a feat much easier said than done but I have lived its success and thus know it to be true.

The second way is to live as a human being. We do not master ourselves by being perfect for there is no such thing. Our journey of imperfection—of skinned knees, bitter fears, and many, many falls—is meant to help us grow by reminding us in small doses that we are eternal. I haven’t discovered the third way, which I am sure exists, but if the formula rings true, I would imagine it has something to do with one’s unending potential. I am fortunate enough to have experienced the lessons afforded to me. In the final analysis, they were just that: things that happened for me rather than to me. I am not always able to maintain that outlook but the fact that I can at all tells me that I have grown.

There emanates a fundamental duality from the heart of the cosmos. The resonance of its heartbeat touches every particle, every antiparticle, all notions of gravitation and expulsion finding themselves awash in the grace of the First Energy. We’ve given that primordial spark many names throughout civilization but the most endearing one can be the easiest to forget when its wisdom is needed the most: Love.

We only have so much time incarnate on this Earth. A third of the way through this life, I now stand at the beginning of a grand, new adventure. I choose to make the most of this life. What makes this easier for me will not work for others. Find what works for you, my friend, and embrace life.

Image is Life Journey #2 by PsychoShadow ART

[mtkay13]

Working hard on the business!!

I had a lot of fun working on this piece that fits well as a companion to this one! I really, really enjoy Wuxi and Zishu's side hustle and think about it a lot.

More musings on this piece below!

I have been thinking a lot about Wuxi and Zishu's relationship for the past few months--working on the translation of Qiye has given me a fresh look and new perspective on it which I feel like elaborating on for a bit.

While they come from very different place and are 5 years apart in age, Wuxi and Zishu seem to rather quickly relate to each other due to both being outsiders--to the capital and its codes. It's very sweet to see how quickly Wuxi seems intrigued and interested in Zishu, wanting to know more about him and quick to react when he's around.

Beiyuan is Wuxi's only friend so far, and I think it's very refreshing for Wuxi to find another person with whom he may be able to relate more on some regards, and whom he can look up to in terms of martial arts skills and craftiness. This is a personal HC of mine, but I sort of see Wuxi as having this sort of (fully platonic) "cool older guy crush" on Zishu.

Because of that, I feel like Zishu showing interest in Wuxi and going as far as to offer him to collaborate must have been incredibly validating and exciting. It was a way for Wuxi to be more independent, do something for himself aside from his own training, aside from his role as the young shaman of Nanjiang. Something for his own experimentation and profit--be useful, but also be shown respect and interest by someone he himself is interested in and respects.

I like to imagine that Zishu was already interested in poisons given his field of work and potentially learned a thing or two about that back in Siji manor--even potentially worked on some of his own, and was therefore more than excited to be able to figure out new things with Wuxi's help. On top of that, it must have been pretty fun and gratifying to work on this side hustle which in turn also helped gain some more control over the population (welp).

So yeah! It's nice to think more about what lead to the bond they have, and I can't help but think of how affected Wuxi must have been in TYK when he discovers Zishu's state several years later. Regardless of how helpful Zishu was when Wuxi worked to get Beiyuan out of the capital, he was a friend first and foremost and that alone must be a big reason why Wuxi is so determined to find a way to save him.

(that aside, the illustration was more fun to make than I initially feared. I usually don't like having to work on a ton of tiny details LOL but somehow the atmosphere here made it entertaining!)

(btw! I don't know if I mentioned it before, but in case I didn't: I transliterate "Wuxi" as such ((in one word)) because, him not being han, it feels more right to transliterate his name in a non-han fashion as well. It's unlikely that his family name is Wu and first name is Xi--rather, Nanjiang/Wasa names seem to work differently ((same for Axinlai and Nuaha)) than the typically han family name-first name model. Many thanks to Lianzi and the other members of the 7.0 team for bringing that up! That's it!)