#she definitely says “fuck”

[onbearfeet]

No, Microsoft Word, upon consideration I don't think my audience will be offended by my use of the word "fuck". My intended audience is queers, teenagers, and queer teenagers, all of whom seem to be absolutely fucking delighted by my use of the word "fuck".

[sofiaruelle]

❄️☃️The SDV Girlies in their winter garb!☃️❄️

One side how i interpreted their lil avatars and then the other side is just me playing dress up lmao.

“Bois when?” Dunno. 🤷🏽‍♀️ I will if anyone donates screenshots.

[littlelightfish]

Mr. & Mrs. Folke

[walk-the-fade]

Coming from DAi, Ive seen so many ppl write their inky as a kid or at youngest 18 bc it changes the dynamic between them and the party...

Has anyone done that/ considered how it would change the relationship with Tav?

Lae'zel being frustrated and terrified that her survival is dependent on a teenager. She's taking orders from someone barely old enough to know their way around life on a good day, but now finding her people and being purified fully hinges on this kid's survival and she will be damned if she doesn't die to protect them.

Wyll sees himself in them, wide eyed and terrified at 17 when he bound himself to a devil and his father cast him out. The gods are cruel for giving children their toughest battles. He's going to give them every piece of advice he has and pledge his blade to their cause.

Gale being even more hesistant to open about The Orb and Mystra and his condition because he thinks it's too much for them. They should be tucked away in a library, they should be walking through Baldur's Gate worried about trinkets and sweets and being home on time so they don't worry their mother... not tasked with saving Faerûn from a cult.

Astarion thinks its annoying at first. "Free" for the first time in 200 years. Illithid tadpole squirming in his head and he's stuck following a literal fetus in hopes of survival. Its laughable. He almost –almost– feels bad about having to feed from them, but young blood is always sweeter. And when they earn his approval he's bitter on their behalf. Forced to be a hero, some beacon of light before you've even explored life and it's simple pleasures? Appalling.

Karlach... oh boy Karlach burns hot when they tell her exactly how old they are. Its stupid- its unfair- ITS BULLSHIT quite honestly. The nickname Soldier becomes so much more. This kid doesn't give up. They can't, Mama K will do everything in her power to stop it. They need a friend in these tough times and shes more than willing to be that person. Gods....

Shadowheart is a little surprised, but she's the one that underestimates them the least, for sure. They're not that much older than when she was taken in by The Dark Lady and her followers. She knows that you become strong when you need to be. It may be unfair but that doesn't make them any less capable as long as they understand the task at hand. She will see to it that they stay on the right path. And when her faith shifts she realizes neither of them deserve to struggle.

As for Halsin, it makes his heart ACHE in his chest when someone so young comes to his rescue. His knee jerk reaction is that they need training, gudiance... protection. But he quickly realizes that's only half true. They are young sure, but they are not helpless. He will help them in anyway that he can whether it be in battle against The Absolute or by carving them little wooden animals while they sleep and leaving them in their tent. They deserve a little happiness amongst the chaos.

Minthara (assuming she has been recruited at Moonrise) is surprised more by the fact that they chose to show her mercy than by their age. Given her upbringing, survival and violence go hand in hand and if this kid has survived this long, faced power of absolute and survived? Than they are worthy of her respect, hands down. She may not always agree with their methods but she will certainly not hesistate to stand beside them.

[sare11aa11eras]

So like. The Riverlands, or at least Harrenhal, have like a gravitational pull. Which is why Catelyn, Jaime, Brienne, and Arya can’t ever escape there. Even in death, Catelyn can’t leave. Her memory and her body are bound together and to her homeland once more. And Jaime and Brienne spend all their time in ASOS in the Riverlands, and you think they’ll escape back to civilization and King’s Landing, and they do, but a) they are changed irrevocably from the people who started out so like did they really leave? and b) King’s Landing turns out to be a brief respite only. They must return once more, and they may even die there. And then Arya spends like two whole books there, wandering and traveling and never getting to where she needs to go. And even when she leaves, even with the whole Narrow Sea between her and those forests and streams, her consciousness and her soul still reside there, and she returns there every night, renewing her connection. Okay? They are stuck. They’re trapped. It’s just endless forest and rivers and the occasional band of outlaws or travelers or abandoned castles. Which, none of them can leave, either. Gendry and the Brotherhood are still there, even when their original purpose is lost and their leader dies. Jeyne, the orphans at the inn, Ravella Smallwood, the Freys, the Brackens and Blackwoods, the Bloody Mummers, the bear from the Harrenhal Bear Pit— they are all trapped. Okay?

[thatfuckinjester]

phantom stealing aurora's clothes. that's all i have to say.

[tennessoui]

this has stayed in my brain for like 2 weeks: au where obi-wan gets fed up with the city council because he keeps writing them asking them to fill this pothole on his street that he hates driving around and they keep not doing it so he decides to run for city council himself on the sole platform of if he’s elected he’s going to fucking fix that fucking pothole.

and he wins because he is very charming and not a lot of people vote anyway, and he fills in his pothole and then next election cycle, he’s planning to let someone else win so he doesn’t have to be on the city council anymore because he actually hates local politics.

only there’s this asshole in university who decides to run obi-wan’s re-election campaign because he’s trying to sleep with a political science TA and he thinks she’ll be impressed if he shows an interest in local politics by doing some grassroots voting door to door work for his community service credits…..and he chooses obi-wan to support at random and very nonconsensually

so anakin skywalker becomes the bane of obi-wan kenobi’s existence. obi-wan kenobi becomes the focus of anakin’s.

(obi-wan also becomes an elected official again, mostly because of the bored housewives vote.)

(obi-wan blames this on the fact that while anakin is a very horny intense nineteen year old, he’s also surprisingly effective with his big wet eyes and his obscenely pink lips. anakin blames this on the televised debates he scheduled between obi-wan and fellow councilor maul, where obi-wan’s eyebrows are drawn and he looks furious and his shirtsleeves are rolled up to his elbows, exposing his very nicely defined forearms.)

(they fuck about it.)

[liesmyth]

Do you have any Coronabeth Worsetwin thoughts about Abigail's reaction to finding out Ianthe become a Lyctor in HtN ("Blast. It should have been Coronabeth. Ianthe never was quite the thing")? I love Abigail but ngl I am also a Corona Worsetwin truther in part because I would find it much more satisfying for one of the series' designated Rational Moral Adults to be categorically wrong about Corona.

OH I love this! I hadn't really thought out it until now, but my first reaction is that it might have been just the general "Ugh, yuck, Ianthe?" vibe that she seems to evoke, since she's very much unpleasant on main. But when thinking about it more in-depth, I think Abigail's perception of WHY Corona would be more suited to Lyctorhood depends on which qualities Abigail thinks a Lyctor should possess that Ianthe lacks.

One thing about Abigail in HtN is that she is as much of an atheist as you can get in TLT, but also she seems to have a sort of romanticised view of John (calling him "the Kindly Emperor", "I've longed my whole life to give him my findings") and I wonder if this extends to her conception of Lyctorhood as a sort of state of idyllic quest for knowledge — "the beauty of necromantic mysteries" as Harrow puts it. She's also the leader of a House known for its diplomacy, influence, and not-so-subtle expansionistic ambitions.

So, is she thinking about Corona's diplomatic skills? Her political knowledge? Or — because at this point she still believes Coronabeth is also a necromancer — is she thinking that Corona was the better necromancer than Ianthe, as it was widely speculated?

Going wildly off into headcanon land, we know Abigail has anti-Cohort sympathies (as per Judith's files) and I wonder if that plays a part. We know that Corona regards the Houses's expansionistic strategy as inefficient, but I don't think it's something Abigail would know. Maybe she just thinks Corona would be able to assert authority over the Cohort better? (One of my pet speculations is that there's some antagonism between the Cohort and the Lyctors, and if that's actually a thing Abigail could be aware of it.)

I think it's a combination of Corona's people skill, her personal experience with both twins, and the fact that Ianthe actively puts off everyone she meets.

(If anyone has any opinions about Abigail here PLS feel free to add, I too love her but she's one of the hardest characters to figure out for me)

Personally, a solid 40% of why I am a Corona Worsetwin truther is because I think it's hot. The rest is her everything in NtN / AYU from the threatening suicide to statecraft scheming, with a smattering of that one Taz interview <3 I'm excited to see her wreck havoc in AtN.

[oceanwithouthermoon]

hi you will understand my view

saiki has a lot of boxes full of shopkins and miniature things in general

one day in the middle of a hang out w the gang they're bored in his room and he pulls out one of this bad bitches

ignore the low quality 😭

FUCKKKK YESSS. I DO. I DO UNDERSTAND.

there needs to be like a masterlist of kusuos fixations/special interests LOL but mini things is definitely one of them.. i like to imagine him with a little dollhouse full of shopkins and other mini things so he can shrink down to their size and hangout inside.. sorry that's so silly but i love it LMAO imagine his parents walking into his room and hes in a little mini hammock in a barbie dreamhouse..

omg kusuo writes in a diary but nobody can read it because its mini and he writes in it when hes tiny..

sorry im gonna keep adding my own stupid things to this but. some of his other fixations include zelda, my little pony, mario kart, hot wheels, stuffed animals, the frozen movies (specific ik), vocaloid (pjsk)..

remember how he made his dads figurine move like a real robo-suit when he was in it ? that but with hot WHEELS and those little mario kart figures oh my GOD. sorry.

i still believe that all of the objects and collections he's accumulated because of his fixations are all in hidden places around his room because he's embarrassed of them since like. collecting cute plushies and shopkins isnt a thing the average teenage boy would do. like his closet and the space underneath his bed or even boxes underneath his desk are like portals to another fucking world bro.

[adelaidedrubman]

—LOCAL CRINGEFAIL MASS MURDERERS WALK INTO SEX THERAPY. (template found here. | credit to @derelictheretic for both oc portraits used!)

was alerted to the existence of this incredible meme by dearest @henbased and obviously had to do it for the flop couples and try starting off a game. below cut is blank template (+ full res johnjess version for easier reading because tumblr decided to be difficult with me on preserving transparency) and tags to play if you have any failsex couples to share!

tagging: @florbelles @henbased @derelictheretic @nightbloodbix @mccarthycormac @corvosattano @shellibisshe @socially-awkward-skeleton @voidika @fourlittleseedlings @blissfulalchemist @clicheantagonist @cassietrn @firstaidspray @josephseedismyfather @cloudofbutterflies92 @stacispratt @strangefable @nonfunctioning-queer @nowandthane @risingsh0t @direwombat @ladyoriza @g0dspeeed @inafieldofdaisies @deputyash @afarcry5fromstraight @orionlancasterr @wrathfulrook + nsfw games opt in here!

[camels-pen]

consider sanuso bodyswap where Sanji is of course "admiring" Usopp's body and Usopp is trying desperately to keep himself from getting worked up so that he doesn't light himself on fire.

Luffy and Chopper are not helping. They are in fact doing the opposite of helping. They've ramped up their pranks and are doing anything possible to get Usopp angry so that he combusts, freaks out, and then dives into the ocean to put himself out. They think it's hilarious.

Nami and Brook are Also not helping, since they're conspiring with Sanji to put on a fashion show with Usopp's body. Sanji called it "not wasting a precious opportunity to get him in something other than overalls". Usopp called it mutiny and he was gonna- dive into the ocean, holy fuck Sanji why is it so easy to catch fire?!

Best part about this is that Sanji assured him, several times, that his body doesn't get hurt by catching fire. Usopp still jumps into the ocean every time.

Robin pipes up at one point, asking if Sanji was immune to just his own flames or all flames. Sanji just kind of shrugs and said it depends. Franky, having just been leisurely watching all of this gets an idea. Would his Franky Fireball hurt Sanji's body or just give him more fire to work with?

He tries to coax Usopp into agreeing to test it out and, somehow, he manages it. Albeit, Usopp is all knocking knees and chattering teeth, a very odd sight from 'Sanji'. As part of the deal though, he can only shoot a fireball the size of his hand.

Usopp meant his small hand. The one Franky used for tinkering and fine detail work. He did not, however, clarify this.

So, when a fireball the size of Franky's big hand comes out, well. Usopp runs for his goddamn life.

It takes him a few moments- and the voices of his friends sounding distant and below him- to realize he hadn't, in fact, run to the men's quarters, but rather into the fucking sky.

And oooooh, boy he is gonna kill Sanji one of these days. Why was his body's first fucking instinct when running to go up, what the actual HELL-

Usopp lit himself on fire again.

He curses out Sanji as his Sky Walk fails in the same moment and he plummets towards the deck.

[s1ushyz]

Think about it, you're walking around in let's say a mall and suddenly that slushy you had at the food court hits you and you need to use the bathroom, you casually and calmly make your way to the mall bathroom and as you open the door and prepare to do what you need to do you see.. gerard way??! What do you do next?

[eclecticopposition]

give meee... headcanons about the Sangfielle friends in the most boring AU you can imagine like. idk. office Sangfielle. grocery store Sangfielle. they all work at a movie theater. whatever sounds mundane as hell and you have Thoughts about :3

okay tumblr ate my fucking answer the first time. let's try this again.

the thing about these guys is that no matter how mundane you make it, they can make anything into a situation. that's just the guys they are. so we put them in a Walmart.

Marn is an employee with a great customer service voice. She's keeping it together in the face of some truly wild statements and requests. One man keeps asking for frootie hooties, a brand of cereal that he insists is real and everyone is just refusing to sell to him, and she's spent twenty minutes trying to tell him that they just don't have it in stock

Lye and Es are having an animated conversation in the clothing area, where she is examining various colorful dresses and he is distractedly picking things off of nearby shelves and putting them back down. The conversation started at how they got kicked out of dayward yve's novelty store and is now about whether stealing should be more or less of a crime than manslaughter, because it's not as bad as killing but it is on purpose. People are trying not to pay attention to them. Eventually they are asked to leave, at which point it is revealed that lye has about two hundred dollars worth of items in his pockets and es has some candles she liked and a new pair of shoes in hers. They are both barred from Walmart.

Duvall hates it here. It's loud, he hates the lights, the aisles make no sense, he can't find anything he's looking for, and people keep coming up to him to ask him where things are. He doesn't even work here. Why do people assume he works here? He's not even wearing any Walmart merchandise. Is that what it's called when you're an employee? Merchandise? Well, it's what it would be called if he wears it, which he never will, because he doesn't work here and never wants to. Have a nice day ma'am.

Pickman is slowly marching her way through the aisles one at a time, peering at her shopping list and holding a tiny shopping basket in one hand. She has to be very careful not to knock the shelves over sometimes. Just trying to get groceries. People are nervously avoiding her. Says "Hey, you" to some poor employee to ask where the milk and cigarettes are. Just grunts at everything else. When she's at the checkout, the guy there asks "Did you find everything you're looking for?", and she just says "No." and leaves

Chine comes out of the bathroom with a live rat in his hand. People scream. The manager finally comes up to him like "Sir, you can't have rats in here." They say "Oh, she's not mine. She was just having trouble opening the door." Gets a big meat on the bone at the deli and nothing else. When he asks how much it costs, they just say it's on the house and try to get him to leave as soon as possible. They go like "Oh, really? Are you sure? I have some money." and sound surprised but pleased, like they're being done a personal favor. The employees insist. He's like "Alright, thanks!" and then asks the rat if she wants anything

[rollingoverinmynonexistentgrave]

Sam: “Colin seems to be having a mental breakdown and I’m really worried about him, is there anything we can do to help him?”

Lena:

[francy-sketches]

The age difference between tommen and myrcella bothers me way more than it should like sometimes it's 2 whole years sometimes they're the exact same age like grrm wanted to make them twins but he forgot. Girl what is the truth

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Hey yall im back with Fig and the Cig Figs professionally produced Freshman year album (formally known as Detention) track list:

Detention

Bad Kid

Dragonslayer

Sk8er Gurl (yes it is basically just a fantasy version of Sk8er Boy by Avril Lavigne)

Burn Towns Get Money

Pit Fiend

Corn Cuties

Disguise Self

Closed Book

Infodump

Seven Maidens

Every Album Needs A Bonus Track (yes that is the name of the song)

Here’s the Junior Year Track List in case you wanna see it!