#she learns from you and gains her own life from it.. she felt like a daughter or a younger sibling in terms of you being the one that gives

[inkmonster21]

Hahaha jealous Caesar when he spots you talking to an ape or human and he just scares them away with his imitating look making reader confused on why the human man isnt talking to her and then she sees Caesar do it. Making her tease him for being jealous.

I hope you're doing okay and that you remember to drink lots of water and refresh when needed, so you're not pushing yourself.

Jealous Ape

Caesar x Reader

A/N: thanks so much! I am feeling so much better today! Finally finished my antibiotics and I’m feeling like myself again! ❤️

~o0o~

Caesar observes you from afar, his gaze always watchful and observant. He sees the way you greet everyone with a kind smile, the warmth, and friendliness that radiates from you. There's something about you that intrigues him, that draws his attention and keeps his gaze on you. As you move through the colony, you can feel his eyes following you, studying you from a distance.

As you take a seat next to the female apes, the young chimps hoot in excitement, their eagerness to be groomed and fussed over by you evident. You offer them a warm smile and a friendly greeting, "Morning." The female apes greet you in return, the familiarity and comfort between you all evident. The young chimps chatter and clamber towards you, eager for your attention and grooming.

Caesar observed the scene before him, watching silently as the young chimps clambered and chattered around you. There was something about the way you interacted with them, the gentleness and care in your touch, that stirred something within him. He found himself growing fond of you, the way you engaged and played with the young ones, the way you handled them with patience and affection.

As Caesar watches you, he can't help but admire the way you seamlessly integrate yourself into the flock. Despite being a human, you had quickly become an accepted and respected member of their community. Caesar sees the way the other apes look at you, the way you handle yourself with confidence and dignity, and he cannot help but feel a sense of grudging respect for you.

You and your group had come to the apes months ago, offering a barter. Goods and materials for protection and access to the land that the apes lived on. But as part of the agreement, you had also offered something else - yourself. You had agreed to stay in the colony, to live among the apes, as a way to ensure that the humans would never turn on them again. Over time, you had become a permanent fixture in the colony, and the apes had come to accept and respect you as one of their own.

You had earned your place among the apes, slowly gaining their trust and earning their respect. Your calm and respectful demeanor had helped you integrate into their community, and you had come to feel like you belonged there. You had learned their customs, their language, and their way of life, and they had accepted you as one of their own. In many ways, you had become an unlikely ambassador between the worlds of humans and apes, straddling both worlds and finding a place for yourself in the middle.

Over time, Caesar began to spend more and more of his free time with you. At first, it was just occasional conversations or exchanges of pleasantries, but gradually, he began to seek you out more frequently. You found yourself enjoying these moments, the time spent in his company, and the conversations that flowed easily between the two of you. As the days passed, you grew more comfortable with one another, a strange and unexpected friendship developing.

Despite the growing bond between you and Caesar, you knew that pursuing a romantic relationship with him was not possible. The differences in your species made it impossible, even if you had felt differently. So you chose to remain silent on your feelings, keeping your heart locked away and hidden, despite the longing and affection you felt for the ape king.

You knew that Caesar could never feel the same way you do. The gulf between human and ape was too vast, and the idea of him returning your affection was simply wishful thinking. So you resigned yourself to silently pining after him, knowing that your love would forever remain one-sided and unfulfilled.

Caesar would occasionally leave small gifts at your door or give them to you during meals, simple gestures that showed he was thinking of you. You never failed to gush over the gifts, and he couldn’t help but smile as he watched your reactions. He was pleased to know that you appreciated his thoughtfulness, even if it was more out of friendship than anything else.

Caesar had spent several days gathering shells and twine, working carefully to braid them together into a necklace for you. The necklace was beautiful and delicate, the shells a beautiful array of colors and shapes, woven together elegantly with the twine. Despite the simplicity of the materials, Caesar was pleased with his work, knowing that you would love it.

As you pick through your food, you notice Caesar approaching. You look up and smile, greeting him with a simple "Hi, Caesar." Your eyes linger on him for a moment longer than necessary, taking in his stature.

Caesar was always vigilant, always on guard, but around you, he found himself able to let his body relax. He trusted you, deeply. Over time, he had grown to care for you, his feelings developing from mere trust into something more intimate.

Caesar moves closer to you, sitting down beside you with a gentle rustle of leaves. He holds out a small, crudely wrapped bundle, the gift he had promised to you. His voice is soft and a little hesitant as he speaks, "I brought you...a gift."

You smile as you extend your hand, ready to receive the gift. Caesar gently places it in your hand, and as he does, your soft skin brushes against his calloused fingertips, a brief but charged moment of contact.

As you both smile at each other and gaze into each other's eyes, there is a moment of connection, a spark of something more than friendship. The air between you seems to crackle with tension, the silence speaks volumes.

As you look down into your hands, you can't help but gasp at the sight of the necklace in your hands. It is beautiful, the shells a riot of colors and shapes, the twine woven together elegantly. It's obvious that Caesar had spent time and care crafting the necklace, and you can't help but be touched by his thoughtfulness.

"Caesar," you hum as you look at the necklace, admiring it with reverence. You could feel your heart swelling in your chest, touched by the thoughtfulness and care he had put into crafting this necklace, just for you. It was a simple gesture, but it spoke deeply of his feelings for you.

"It's so beautiful," you say, the words a whisper as you admire the necklace. The shells glimmer in the light, their colors and patterns creating a mesmerizing display. The twine is expertly woven, its thinness almost invisible as it holds the shells together. You touch the necklace reverently, tracing a shell with a fingertip.

"Thank you." The words come out as a soft murmur, filled with gratitude and warmth. Your heart is full of feelings you can't fully express, and there's an urge to reach out and embrace him. But you hold back, uncertain about crossing a line. You don't want to ruin this moment or risk losing the friendship you had so carefully built together. So instead, you simply look up at him, meeting his gaze with a look filled with emotion.

Caesar could sense your desire to embrace him but could also see the hesitation in your eyes. He understood the conflicted feelings that were churning within you. The line between friendship and something more was a delicate one, and he didn't want to force you to cross it if you weren't ready.

Caesar's voice is gentle and soft as he urges, "Put it on." His fingers wrap around the necklace, and he moves your hair gently to the side, revealing your bare shoulders. The movement of his hand is tender, his touch gentle as he positions the necklace against your skin.

You can feel your breath catch in your throat as Caesar's fingers brush against your skin. The touch is like a spark against a dry tinder, setting a fire within you. His hand is warm and strong, and the sensation of his fingertips against your skin sends your heart hammering in your chest.

The shells of the necklace rest gently against your chest, their smooth surfaces rising and falling with each breath you take. The feel of the necklace is almost intimate, the shells cool against your skin, a constant reminder of Caesar's thoughtfulness and care.

You found yourself grappling with conflicting thoughts and emotions. Was this necklace simply meant as a gesture of peace, a way to strengthen the bond between apes and humans? Or was it something more, a display of affection or care from Caesar to you? The line between friendship and something deeper was becoming increasingly blurry, and you couldn't quite make heads or tails of Caesar's behavior.

You look back at Caesar, the sight of his fond smile bringing a flicker of uncertainty to your heart. His expression is soft and affectionate, his gaze lingering on you for a moment longer than usual. It's a sight that both warms and confuses you, leaving you questioning the true nature of his feelings.

This wasn't the first time you had gone to bed feeling confused about your feelings for Caesar, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. The tumultuous emotions swirling inside you, the uncertainty and longing, kept you awake at night. The necklace he had given you remained on your bedside table, a constant reminder of your complicated relationship with the ape king.

The sun had barely risen when your group finally emerged from the woods, looking tired but satisfied. You quickly stood up from your perch on a log and hurried over to them, your heart filled with relief and happiness to see them all unharmed and safe. Without hesitation, you embraced your friends, wrapping your arms around them in a tight hug of greeting and affection.

You were eager to hear all about their journey, wanting to know what they had seen and experienced in the days they had been gone. "So," you say as you pull away from the hugs, "tell me everything. What happened on your journey?"

James, the former military officer who sat next to you, began to weave an embellished version of the story, describing their adventures with exaggerated bravado and humor. You found yourself giggling at several points, easily able to recognize the embellishments but finding them amusing nonetheless.

As James continued his story, you couldn't help but feel eyes on you. The sensation of being watched from a distance was unmistakable, and you glanced around, trying to identify the source of the gaze.

You turn around, trying to see who might be watching, but everyone else in the colony seems occupied with their own business. You absently toy with the necklace at your throat as you listen to James's story, your fingers tracing the smooth shells, trying to shake off the uneasy feeling.

You can't help but laugh at a particularly amusing moment in James's story, your eyes sparkling with mirth. Even as you chuckle, however, you still can't shake the feeling of being watched.

James, just as he was telling the next part of the story, turns towards you, a question on his lips. He looks at you for a moment with curiosity, as though he wants to ask something. Your anticipation for James's question is interrupted as he suddenly looks past you, his gaze drifting away. You turn to follow his gaze, your eyes falling on Caesar, who is standing nearby, watching the two of you intently.

Even without looking, you can sense the intense gaze of the ape king, and you turn to see Caesar's expression, his eyes narrowing at James. The look on Caesar's face is one of possessiveness and anger, and it becomes even more apparent as James leans slightly closer to you.

The sight of James being so close to you bothered Caesar, the possessive gleam in his eyes growing more intense. Caesar's body seemed to tense slightly, and his eyes flicked between you and James, his jaw clenching slightly.



James, perhaps feeling the intensity of Caesar's glare, leans back, creating some distance between the two of you. He looks slightly uncomfortable, and there's a subtle flicker of fear in his eyes as he glances at Caesar.

For the rest of the night, it was as if Caesar was constantly watching you. His eyes tracked your every movement, and any time a male human approached you, his glare would harden, warning them silently to keep their distance. It was a territorial display, a silent declaration of ownership.

You felt your limbs growing weary and your mind weary, ready for respite. "I'm going to head to bed," you finally say, getting up slowly from the log.

James stands up as well, his expression casual. "I'll walk you," he offers. "My tent's close by, so I'm headed there anyway."

You nod in agreement, and together with James, you begin walking towards your abode. The path is dimly lit by the flickering of distant fires, casting dancing shadows on the trees. The night air is cool and quiet, the sounds of crickets and nocturnal creatures filling the air.

You and James continue down the path, and soon you arrive at your house. Its simple structure is made of sturdy branches and leaves, and it blends well with the surroundings.

"Here's my stop," you say, gesturing to your house. "Would you like to come in for a moment?"

As you invite James inside, he looks like he's about to accept, but the sudden change in his demeanor is unmistakable. His gaze turns fearful, and he gulps, shaking his head. "No," he stammers, "I'll just... see you tomorrow."

With a swift sidestep, he walks off, his steps quickening as he leaves. You're left standing there, bewildered by the sudden shift in his behavior.

As you turn around, you find Caesar. He stands, glaring at James's departing figure, his eyes fixated on the human male as he scurries away. You cross your arms and look at Caesar, a mix of curiosity and slight irritation in your expression.

"What are you doing?", your tone is a mixture of annoyance and curiosity. Caesar's attention snaps back to you, his intense gaze meeting yours. There's a moment of silence as he regards you with an almost guarded expression.

"I was making sure you were safe," Caesar finally replies, his voice slightly gruff. As you look back at James's retreating figure, a small smirk tugs at the corners of your mouth. "Pretty sure I can take him," you remark, your tone light and almost challenging.

Caesar huffs in response, a sound that seems both amused and jealous at once. He regards you with a mixture of admiration and protectiveness, his gaze holding a hint of possessiveness.

Caesar's eyes linger on James for a moment longer before he looks back at you, his gaze focused and intense. His question, "Do you... care for him?" hangs in the air between you, the weight of his concern tangible.

Your eyes widen with surprise as the nature of Caesar's question hits you, and you exclaim, "James?"

You study Caesar's expression, trying to discern the true meaning behind his words. Is he worried that you have feelings for James? The thought is both shocking and confusing.

Caesar's gaze remains fixated on you, his expression a mix of concern and vulnerability. He's waiting for your answer, his body tense as if anticipating your response. There's a sense of anxiousness about him, a fear of what your answer might be.

Your curiosity piqued, you press further, asking, "Why?"

Caesar's gaze intensifies as he processes your question. He takes a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking. "I just want to know," he replies, his voice tinged with a hint of defensiveness.

As you shake your head and quietly admit that you care for someone else, your gaze averts away from Caesar. A mixture of emotions flits across your face - trepidation, vulnerability, and a hint of uncertainty. You swallow hard, the truth laid bare in your admission.

Caesar's expression softens slightly as he absorbs your words. The knowledge that you care for someone other than James seems to lift a weight from his shoulders, and his gaze warms a bit. However, there's a slight flicker of disappointment and longing in his eyes. He nods slowly, a quiet acceptance in his gesture. "Who?" he asks softly.

Your hand instinctively grips your necklace, your fingers tracing the smooth shells as a soft smile graces your lips. It's a subtle, unconscious gesture that speaks volumes about whom you care for.

As Caesar takes in the sight of your hand on the necklace he gifted you, his expression softens even further, understanding flickering across his face.

Caesar's tone is tinged with a mixture of disbelief and uncertainty as he points to himself. "Me?" The word hangs in the air between you like a question mark, his eyes searching your face for confirmation. Despite his doubts, there's a spark of hope in his gaze, a glimmer of belief.

You release a nervous breath, a mix of vulnerability and resignation coloring your words. "Don't act so disappointed," you say, your voice tinged with a hint of sadness. "I know it wouldn't... work out."

Caesar watches you, his expression shifting to one of realization and acceptance. He knows the truth, the reality of the situation, and yet... there's a part of him that yearns for it to be different.

Caesar steps closer, his movements deliberate and filled with a newfound determination. "No," he says firmly, his voice laced with conviction. "I am not disappointed... at all."

The distance between you shrinks with each step he takes, and his eyes search yours, filled with a mixture of hope and longing.

Caesar’s smile grows as he steps closer, his body now inches away from yours. "I am… glad," he says, his voice soft and sincere.

The proximity between you feels charged, the air thick with anticipation. Caesar gazes at you, his gaze affectionate and filled with tenderness.

Caesar's hand comes to rest gently on your cheek, his touch warm and tender. He then slowly, almost reverently, leans his head forward to bring his forehead against yours. The press of his skin against yours is intimate and affectionate, an unspoken gesture of affection and care.

As you stand with Caesar, forehead to forehead, the world around you fades away. There are no colony members, no humans, and no dangers to worry about. At this moment, it's just the two of you.

Your heart beats in time with his, and in this quiet, intimate moment, a silent declaration is made. You are his, and he is yours. The bond between you feels palpable, like a tether that can never be broken.

[yuseirra]

The journey

[yourstardarling]

Lilith Analysis

(Lady Lilith, by Dante Gabriel Rossetti)

In my perspective, Lilith symbolizes the female intuition which is often vilified in our patriarchal society. She questions the status quo, defying societal norms and forges her own path for how she lives her life. In some interpretations, Lilith is depicted as the serpent in the garden, tempting Eve with the apple as revenge for her expulsion after refusing to submit to Adam. Targeting Eve instead of Adam, shows how Lilith understands the curious nature within women to want to know more and what ifs. It is the same curiosity that made Pandora open the box releasing malicious spirits into the world.

The energy of Lilith is a vengeful one as she sought revenge against God for her banishment out of the garden. In her expulsion, she was stated to steal babies and harm innocent lives, unsympathetic to anyone in her way. So within our charts, Lilith shows where we've experienced profound shame and societal rejection. It is where we are often demonized for refusing to yield to others' expectations. If we don't heal this pain it often becomes a form of self-destruction, fueling a need to gain revenge, harming anyone in our path. This part of our chart is usually suppressed, relegated to the shadows, but integration of this energy is crucial. Mainly because keeping our shame underneath the surface will often cause self-sabotage within the house Lillith is in. Finding the underlying root of the problem will often lead to reclaiming of your power, making Lilith be an energy of magnetization and authority. Neglection will only exacerbate internal conflict.

Lilith in the 1st:In the first house, these individuals are the walking embodiments of Lilith. They are often faced with deep-seated feelings of shame regarding their sexuality and physical appearance. Many have endured the pain of bullying in their youth, which has made them feel shunned out from society. This shame becomes a heavy burden that feels as if it is a part of them, complicating efforts to express their true self openly. Consequently, a portion of their identity remains veiled, guarded against potential judgment or rejection from others. Yet, beneath this veil within their unconscious, lies a potent magnetism. A profound sense of sexuality that others find rather attractive or unsettling. They find themselves both desired and feared. But honestly like Britney said it’s because, "All of the boys and all of the girls want to if you seek Amy." Lilith's influence in this house encourages independence and self-assertion. It teaches the importance of standing firm in the face of societal pressures and refusing to be demonized for your own authenticity. However, yielding to criticism and seeking external validation risks facing internal conflicts. A constant battle against yourself. That is why confronting the shadow aspects of one's personality should be practiced, as it offers a pathway to self-discovery and empowerment. When you are able to show resilience and unwavering faith in yourself, you're able to garner admiration and respect from those around you. The ability to transmute pain into productive actions serves as a magnetic force, attracting allies and opportunities alike. Learning to embrace your inner sexual energy is imperative, as it is something that cannot be suppressed. Unfortunately, this embracement may invite unwanted attention, leaving you vulnerable to exploitation and trauma. Overall, the role of Lilith in the first house is one of self-acceptance and defiance against societal norms. It's a journey marked by challenges, but also by profound personal growth and authenticity.

Lilith in the 2nd: In the house of personal gains, Lilith has felt great shame surrounding her personal values. Individuals with this placement have a hard time surrounding their self worth and physical assets. Possessive tendencies lie beneath the surface, as a consequence from being betrayed in the past. People may have taken advantage of them for their material value and stolen from them. Financial wounds run deep making them unable to properly trust themselves with money. Might find themselves in cycles of reckless spending, prioritizing instant gratification over long term investments. The types go on a shopping spree and then feel guilty for indulging materialistically.These people can either be overindulgent or extremely picky when it comes to what they spend. There is an inherent value of pleasure and spending resources on things that make you feel good.The sign Lilith is in will give you an idea on what you unwarily spend money on and guide your financial decisions. Implementing a budget plan can be very beneficial in uncovering and healing shame surrounding your spending habits. It will help you regulate your spending. Underlying shadow challenges when it comes to self worth is another aspect of this placement. Leading to having doubts about deservingness and attaining success. Lilith in the 2nd, prompts a reevaluation of your values. Rather than being overly picky, you're encouraged to be intentional in your pursuits. Learn to align your investments with your deepest values and aspirations. Family dynamics may also contribute to your relationship with money, with the possibility of past generations engaging in questionable financial practices. Additionally, Lilith's immature aspects may tempt individuals to resort to unethical means of acquiring wealth, such as engaging in sex work or participating in illicit activities. However, succumbing to these temptations risks exploiting others and ultimately perpetuating cycles of harm. In navigating the influence of Lilith in the 2nd house, you are urged to exercise caution and integrity in financial dealings. By confronting shadows and cultivating a sense of self-worth, they can transcend shame and reclaim power over their financial well-being.

Lilith in the 3rd: When Lilith is in the third house of youth and mental stimulation, these individuals have deep shame within their speech and communication. Oftentimes they were demonized as a child, facing constant scrutiny about their childish behavior. Parental guardians made them seem like they were to blame for the smallest issues that occurred. In school they may have felt shunned out from their peers, becoming the target of bullying and ridicule. This ridicule can even come from their teachers that overly criticized them for not being the perfect student, leading them to feel like they were a bad kid. Might indicate having a speech impediment, having a hard time communicating how you feel and issues surrounding being able to read. Your intelligence was significantly downplayed from the earlier years of school which made you believe you were dumb. For this reason, you may prefer being quiet and only speaking when you are needed to, often avoiding starting conversation. To others you may seem standoffish when you speak, but instead it can be anxiety to say what you really want because of public reaction. This Lilith wound is one centered around your inner child and taking back power over your mind. Intrusive thoughts of feeling less than can often be an underlying trigger, but you must recognize that these voices in your head are not your own. It is programming from the ridicule you received as a kid. Mindfulness and meditation practices can help regulate the outside input that comes in your head. You're a very intellectually capable individual that often understands knowledge about topics considered unconventional by society. Don’t be ashamed of what you know and use it to teach other people information you are passionate about.

Lilith in the 4th: Within the house of home and heritage, Lilith has wrested with feeling of shame for her family background. These individuals can often grow up feeling sexually repressed by their family. Criticism for what they were and being called a slut for wanting to express themselves. This placement reminds me of Meg from Family Guy, and how she is consistently made the butt of all ridicule by her family. As you went through puberty, you could've felt uncomfortable being objectified by family members. Some could've faced even faced exploitation by their own family. There is a strange focus on purity within the household and committing towards conservative ideals of presenting yourself. From their point of view, you may be seen as someone who is promiscuous and disobeying traditional values. You might find it hard to feel at home within yourself because of these past afflictions. This can even lead to you feeling ashamed about your emotional responses, often viewing them as evil instead of necessary feelings. Aside from sexuality, this Lilith placement also indicates having shame regarding your origin. There might have been concealed truths about your birth, unraveling as you mature. Might have felt like your family were strangers and you did not belong with them. Issues with the mother figure can be highlighted by this placement. You don't get along well and could feel a sense of cruelty from her. A shadow side to you is kept veiled from your family, which makes you feel like an outsider by them. You may have a reputation of being the rebellious cousin. They may harbor outdated ideologies such as racism, homophobia and xenophobia, that makes you more ashamed of them. The home you grew up in may have been the cause of this shame too, because of its design or infestation issues. Overall, stepping away from your family's point of view of the world is a big factor with this Lilith placement. You cannot allow their lives to dictate who you are meant to be. Learning to nurture yourself and finding your own community is an essential part of your journey. As time pass, you may discover yourself becoming a space for other people to confide in about their personal issues. A testament to Lilith making a home for herself outside the boundaries of Eden.

Lilith in the 5th: In the fifth house, individuals have grappled with profound shame surrounding the way they experience pleasure within their lives. Their childhood may have been faced with restrictions on the ways they could have fun, such as engaging in hobbies solely to appease their parents rather than for personal enjoyment. Activities you found enjoyment in, felt like you needed to keep hidden away from other people in order to not get ridiculed. There are plenty of hobbies you enjoy that others will find unorthodox to have. For example, going to shooting ranges, participating in drag shows, taking part in the circus or cosplaying your favorite characters. When it comes to your talents, you might face envy from others because they want the attributes that you have. May face hate in your extracurricular activities and being outcasted by team members. In your own eyes, your often unsure about your talents and feel like you're not good enough in your practice. Additionally, there is also shame regarding sexual pleasure. You might find it fun to explore, but some experiences make it unsettling for you to enjoy. There may be a need to keep your sex life a secret from other people. However, sex positivity can be a notable aspect of this placement though, not having much conservative notions in your sexual experiences. When it comes to children, you might feel some shame for not wanting to have kids and face scrutiny from others for this stance. You can even feel like you hate the thought of children and not wanting them around you. If you do end up having kids, they can exhibit Lilith quality traits of rebellion and unorthodox behavior. There is definitely a shadow side to how you gain pleasure with this placement, indulging in self destructive behaviors and selling yourself away for fun. You must learn to tame that primal urge within you when you are having a great time. Especially as this can lead to addictions to pleasure, such as having a gambling, drug abuse and being overly sexual. Learn to set boundaries when you're having fun.

Lilith In the 6th: In the house of service, Lilith plays a commanding role within her work space. This placement reminds me of The Devil wears Prada, where Miranda was seen as a formidable figure by her colleagues. Similarly, coworkers may harbor similar feelings toward you, casting you as assertive & harsh. You may face a lot of scrutiny in the workplace and could even work in an environment where there's a prevalence of discrimination. Workplace harassment can occur here as well, oftentimes facing oversexualization. Navigating and accepting your shadow persona in the workplace becomes essential. As long as you come there to do your job, that’s all that matters. Just try not to lash out at your colleagues because of misconception and other issues. There may be a big rumor that you are lazy for not doing as much as everyone else. However, you're the type of person that only comes and does the work that is necessary, not overworking themselves as everyone else. On the flip side, you can be hyper focused on work and do a lot more in your day that others don’t really see. This can take a toll on your health and work stress can be a big indication of this placement. Speaking of health, you might have a terrible relationship with health officials. Health experts in the past might have treated you poorly and even faced a misdiagnosis. Your relationship with health overall is something you can feel intense emotions around. A health condition could make you feel like you don’t have the same capabilities as other people. Might struggle with digestion and eating food to nourish yourself. There is a lot of necessary shadow work to uncover within your habits and daily routines with this placement. Learn to not be so hard on yourself, making time to properly maintain your physical needs.Health is wealth after all.

Lilith In the 7th: When Lilith lies in the house of partnerships, there is often shame surrounding the close connections these people have. They often easily attract people with Lilith energy in their lives, such as rebellion, ostracization and outcasts. You're often able to see the version of others that they keep hidden underneath. For some reason, people can feel like they can trust you with their problems and you make space to not judge them. Something about you just allows people to feel easily able to open up their shame to you. It might be because there is a part of you that has felt the same shame of being shunned out by other people. In your love life, there could be a tendency to feel outcasted by your partners which leads to having a warped perception of yourself. Partners often can make you feel like you are too much and incapable of being loved. May find it hard to feel their needs being met in their personal relationships. Here lilith indicates issues of being taken advantage of by other people and personal power being exploited. Aggressive aspects can also show facing abuse, which can make these individuals pretty guarded when meeting others. You could feel the need to be in control and have a dominant role in your love life. However, self-destructive tendencies may spur from not getting what you want out of a partner and lead you sabotaging your connections. You can often pursue relationships you know are unhealthy for you. There’s a tendency to want people that bring out an unhinged version of yourself, becoming a whole different person with a partner. Shadow work needs to be done as to why you chase these toxic connections, which sometimes is rooted from the way you viewed the partnership of your parents.

Lilith in the 8th: In the house of death and loss, Lilith is put to face the extremes. Each time they are in a transitional phase in their lives, they get kicked out of their paradise. These individuals understand the darker sides of life and are somewhat good at navigating their shadow. Shadow side can often take things to the extreme when they are out of control. Really good at understanding the taboo and being okay with things that are scarier for other people. A necessary need to make peace with inner demons and resolving past psychological conflicts. While they are able to easily exude a seductive persona, sex can be a harsh topic for them to feel comfortable with. Losing their virginity might have been a monumental experience that shifted the way they act in their lives. There is a need to work on resolving issues with sex and not being afraid of it . Also, you might be into some fetishes that you feel the need to keep hidden from other people. Hiding is a big coping mechanism for them, whenever they feel like the world rejects them, they bury themselves down in shadows to not be seen. A distinct relationship with death, some hold huge guilt for being unphased by death, while others worry about their own deaths. If a family member had died, you might feel guilty for not being sad or crying at the funeral. These people can mourn their innocence a lot, thinking of a time they were untouched by the world around them. During transitional phases of your life, you could be vilified and demonized for acting differently. Might have had a dark aesthetic or emo phase during your teen years. Change can be a scary thing for you and you could harbor strong resistance towards new possibilities. This mainly comes from the scrutiny you’ve felt by other people. Learn to embrace the taboo and understand change will only allow you to reclaim your power.

Lilith in the 9th: These individuals hold a complex relationship with religion and belief systems. Growing up, they likely experienced a religious environment that instilled fear and submission to authority. It's possible they had overly religious parents who prioritized adherence to faith, rather than showing genuine love and understanding for their children. As you mature, there's a tendency to reject traditional systems of beliefs for more esoteric philosophies, helping you find empowerment through alternative spiritual paths. Although shifting your beliefs will allow you to have a sense of freedom, remnants of past religious trauma still linger in your mind. Guilt for what you believe in is a big focus for this placement. They often find themselves at odds with mainstream perspectives, feeling a sense of alienation and struggling to fit in. There's a tendency to doubt their intelligence and the information they know. This struggle extends to academic pursuits as well, where they may feel out of place and struggle to connect with their peers. Moving away from their area of upbringing can be liberating, allowing them to explore their shadow aspects and embrace their darker side through travel and adventure. In doing so, they may discover a newfound magnetism and allure, attracting others to their path towards self-discovery.

Lilith in the 10th: In the house of public career, Lilith exerts a strong influence on one's outward image and persona. When in public settings, you often see people being easily magnetized towards you. If Lilith is conjunct the Midheaven (MC), it can signify experiences of unwanted attention, including catcalling. There's a deep-seated fear of being seen, stemming from the difference between your public persona and true self-image. Overexposure to the public eye can lead to discomfort, particularly in career fields where others seem to dominate or overshadow you. There is a natural ability to exude sensuality that others find intriguing. They may develop a reputation for sensuality and allure, which can intimidate others, particularly men, due to the inherent power they radiate. Despite the fantasization, they may resent the objectification and sexualization. In professional settings their bosses may even attempt to take advantage of them. This placement can also indicate stage fright and social anxiety, causing them to prefer the sidelines rather than the spotlight. An unbalanced version of this placement would be sabotaging yourself when it comes to your career. Promoting bad behavior so that you can gain the upper advantage in situations. It's crucial for them to be vigilant against exploitation by authority figures and to properly navigate professional relationships and contracts. Despite potential misconceptions about their character, individuals with this placement must embrace their authenticity and prioritize their own career aspirations over societal expectations. Your that b*tch for real, and you cannot allow the public opinion of you to dictate who you are. Also, Lilith in the 10th house may signify a challenging relationship with their father, involving absence, mistreatment, or attempts at control. This further fuels aspirations to become a successful person, in order to prove their farther wrong. Embracing their power and authenticity is important for success and fulfillment in the professional world.

Lilith in the 11th: Friendships are never easy with Lilith in the 11th. Despite outward display of support, these individuals frequently encounter betrayal from those they consider close allies, discovering that supposed friends harbor secret animosity and ulterior motives towards them. Friends could make jokes about insecurities you have, while accusing you of being soft for finding offence. Your secrets are not the safest within your social networks, they are like blind items ready to spill all the tea about your personal life. This atmosphere of distrust can lead to a cautious approach to forming friendships, resulting in a preference for family and romantic relationships over the unpredictability of friendships. Despite these challenges, individuals with this placement often gravitate towards unconventional or marginalized groups of people. Finding companionship in the outcasts who defy societal norms. They may become strong advocates for the rights and liberation of marginalized groups, focusing on the need for women's rights and the empowerment of societal underdogs. So while friendships may be met with much difficulty, these individuals create meaningful connections with fellow non-conformists in society. Finding solidarity in their shared struggles, leading to finding community outside of Eden.

Lilith in the 12th: Individuals with Lilith in the 12th house tend to keep Lilith's energy to the depths of their subconscious mind. They are often unaware of its magnetic, rebellious, and sexually charged nature. May doubt their own sexuality and seductive capabilities, feeling overshadowed by others charm. However, when in solitude, Lilith emerges to confront them about their inner shadows and demons. This often leads to solitary battles with their deepest fears and insecurities. Sleep issues are common with this placement, as they may struggle to maintain a stable sleep routine. May prefer the quiet solitude of the night for introspection and self-discovery. In their dreams, they often confront scenarios designed to evoke feelings of inadequacy and shame, forcing them to confront their inner vulnerabilities. They can be drawn towards dream working, meditation, shifting and exploring unique ways to access their subconscious mind. By using the arts, they can transmute fears and underlying issues in their mind to a reservoir of creativity. You can often see their shadow portrayed boldly in their art. Also, these individuals are often empathetic and hold nonjudgmental view towards the shadows of other people. Overall, through uncovering their darkness, Lilith in the 12th house can lead to spiritual growth and artistic development when integrated unapologetically.

____

Remember to look at the aspects to Lilith in your chart. Since it is an astrological point & asteroid, it doesn't hold as much significance compared to the planets. So aspects allow you to know how much of this energy can be brought up to the surface. Also, this reading is for all versions of Lilith in the chart.

-your Star Darling

(Portrait of Simonetta Vespucci, by Piero Di Cosimo)

[l-uminescent]

˚⁀➷｡˚ KINSLAYER ━━━ AEMOND TARGARYEN X FEM! READER

part two.

synopsis: rhaenyra’s daughter seeks revenge for the death of her beloved younger brother lucerys velaryon. and what better way to gain it, than from the man she was once betrothed to.

notes: did i steal daemon’s plot? yes. did the reader do it better? also yes. fuck aemond targaryen (who is 22 here) for killing lucerys fr, and fuck tumblr for making me repost this bc they shadowbanned me :(

warnings: reader is rhaenyra’s daughter, angst, violence, mention of blood, future hotd spoiler (battle above the gods eye)

word count: 3.9k

ONCE UPON A TIME YOU HAD THOUGHT YOU HAD KNOWN WHAT LOVE HAD FELT LIKE. being betrothed to none over than aemond targaryen in an attempt to ensure peace between the divided targaryen house, had gave you a sense of hope. the childish crush you had on the one-eyed prince had long exceeded into your adulthood (unbeknownst to you for a long while). and the news that you were to be married to the man you had felt so deeply for, had you thanking the gods that you were to be so lucky. 

for much of your adulthood, you denied the feelings you had for aemond. brushing the giddiness you felt when you were younger off as a fleeting childhood crush. now, the crimson paint that adorned your cheeks you put down to a sense of duty; you had to act the blushing bride in order to do your part for the realm. your mother's constant reminders that it was you who could maintain the peace between dragons, made you believe it was a sense of duty to your house; to prevent the bloodshed and the path to destruction that would follow if blood was spilt. as time went on, you begrudgingly admitted to yourself that maybe, just maybe, the small minuscule crush you had on the prince, in fact never left. you often reflected on the times where you had lived in king's landing with your family, often choosing to spend time with the second son of the king. you two were inseparable, where aemond went you were sure to not be too far behind. often, challenging each other on who would learn the most high valyrian words in a day, and who would learn the history of their ancestors first. it was a match the gods intended.

however, this sue for peace had crumbled completely. only a mere memory in your mind of what could have been if the targayren house was not so ignorant to the fact that women had much of a right to ascend the throne (you had king jaehaerys to uphold much of the blame for this decision). and now, the house was at war with one another. the dance of the dragons was surely to follow, leaving nothing but war across the realm and your poor broken heart.

the death of your brother lucerys did not seem to help with the feeling of heartbreak that effected life upon dragonstone. you spent many days and nights cooped up in your chambers. there was no one to turn too. yes, you sought comfort with your mother but she too was a shell of her former self. with jacaerys many miles north in winterfell, and your husband the murderer of such an innocent boy, you were left with nothing but your own reckless thoughts. as the sun rose in the east and set in the west day after day, your pain and suffering festered into a new, dark feeling within you. the sadness within was replaced with a craving of utter revenge. the lovesick girl, eyes wide with care and awe was shattered, replaced by a woman no, a dragon, who would go to any means to avenge the cruel death of her sweet younger brother. the love you had felt for the man you once were engaged to disappeared the moment you had learnt what he done; marring any chances at evading the war that was surely to follow. you swore to seek revenge with fire and blood. in whatever means the gods meant it to happen. 

━━━━━━━━━━ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ━━━━━━━━━

the small council met as the sun lays lazily high in the sky, providing the normally dark and gloomy room with a sliver of light that is often uncommon on the island of dragonstone home to dreary weather most of the time. you welcome the sun in all its glory, soaking it in as you stand next to your brother jacaerys as you listen to the squabbles between the men as they discuss the course of action to take next. small crescents dawned under your eyes, reflecting the many sleepless nights you have come to known. the tiredness you feel currently now and all throughout the days since luke's passing has become an old friend to you, one that is begrudging to leave. you tune out, the effects of another sleepless night and your lack of interest in the bickering that is beginning to fester amongst the lords and your mother is boring you. instead, your eyes are captured by the ball of fire that lay millions of miles away. you weren't all that religious, if it came down to it you preferred the valyrian or old gods in favour of the seven. but there was no doubt the glistening embers that rained upon the room was a good omen. you were sure lucerys was looking down upon you, he adored the few sunny days on dragonstone, and this brought a small smile to your face. 

you hadn't realised just how deep in thought you were until your brothers voice broke you out of whatever hazy trance you were. despite tuning out, you had gathered the basics of the discussion - ser criston cole had set his eyes on rooks rest, and a dragon was needed to defend the castle. jacaerys' proposition to fly vermax was quickly shut down by your mother, deeming the boy as too inexperienced in battle and the dragon too young. 

"i will go." 

the words escaped your lips before you even had a chance to think them through properly. the feeling of revenge running through your veins was more than enough to spark this confident outburst. it had to be you who would go to rooks rest. you did not understand why this feeling was so apparent, whether it be the good omen in the sky, or the smile that had graced your lips for the first time in many moons at the thought of your brother being the one who sent it. but the need to take seat upon your dragon silverwing and fly to rooks rest settled in your soul as a desire you needed to fulfil. you knew immediately your mother would never agree to this, already refusing jacaerys to go meant there was absolutely no possibility she would let you go. 

"no. you too lack the experience that is needed in battle. i will not lose another child to this war." rhaenyra's voice trembled slightly with the mentioning of lucerys but she held strong with her decision to not let either of her elder children fly to battle. the mentioning of luke only feeding the fire in your blood, the need to seek revenge for his passing. 

looking up at your mother, you knew she had understood this as it was plainly evident on your face. alas, rhaenyra could not deny you had your mother's stubbornness and your father's strength. "mother, the entire council knows it is far too dangerous to risk the lives of both you and jace. queen and heir. send me, your grace. silverwing is used to battle and if war and bloodshed is sure to follow with the greens still bot bending the knee to you, then we must become acquainted with it." 

her eyes softened as she gazed upon yours, you reminded her so much of herself in her youth. the fire that burned within you mirrored that of hers. the want to prove yourself as more as weak was apparent, when many men had deemed you fragile due to the gender you were born as, you felt the urge to prove them wrong, just as your mother had felt, still feels with the many lords at the council who still see her as the weaker sex. she knew you were going to fly to battle whether she permitted you leave or not. and with a slight of her head you knew her answer. her lilac eyes gazing into yours with such intensity you knew the message conveyed. be safe, sweet girl.

another voice a the council spoke up, one you weren't expecting to hear. your grandmother, rhaenys. "you must send me as well, your grace. meleys is no stranger to battle, like silverwing. two dragons will be better than one, if the greens decide to also send a dragon to battle."

you were shocked that your grandmother was to fight so willingly for your mother's claim to the throne but yet, the more you pondered the less surprised you were. she too was a woman who should have ascended the throne, the queen who never was, yet king jaehaerys passed over her claim as a count of being weak as she was a woman. gods you hated the man sometimes. 

you were no stranger to the care of your grandmother. she knew straight away that her son was not actually your father, you were born a bastard, fathered to ser harwin strong yet she loved you nevertheless. just as coryls velaryon had favoured young luke, rhaenys, favoured you. your dark her reminded her much of her mother jocelyn baratheon and the way in which you clung to her as a child reminded her so much of leanor. she had grown to love you as you her, and refused to see you alone on the battlefield. 

"come granddaughter, we have much to prepare." rhaenys spoke softly as your mother dismissed the council, guiding you with her hand on the small of your back. giving one last nod to your mother, you notice the look of such fierce love in her. the promise of suffering she would bring if you were hurt. yet, the only thing rhaeynra could do now is pray to the gods above that her only girl would return to her safely. and by the gods she did.

━━━━━━━━━━ *ੈ✩‧₊˚ ━━━━━━━━━

silverwing was just as mesmerising as the day you claimed her at the tender age of  ten and three. her silvery scales often reminded you of the stars that hung from the sky. glistening intently as you often sat at your window deep in thought. such a docile creature, you could not help but fall in love with her kind nature; a dragon who was most friendly to strangers. as you approached her now a small smile once again graced your lips. the she dragon bent down to greet you, pressing her snout to your hand in a sign of understanding. the intelligence of the dragon was also something that had drawn you to her, she was able to sense every emotion you felt. she had known you were grieving and did not hold it against you that you had neglected to visit her. instead, she blew smoke from her nostrils, and you could have sworn she wore a toothy grin. silverwing was glad you had returned to her. 

flying your dragon had somewhat eased the dull ache that seemed to have made a permanent home in your heart. the ocean beneath you and the wind in your hair brought a sense of relief. this was home. you had miss flying your dragon across the realm, watching as the landscape beneath you changed from countryside, to villages, to oceans and to cities. it was freeing. as fast as she was, silverwing was no match for the speed in which meleys, your grandmother's dragon, flew. as she soared effortlessly through the sky, your dragon tried her hardest to keep up. 

"don't push yourself silverwing. meleys is a fast dragon. " you uttered calmingly to your dragon in high valyrian, stroking her scales softly in a show of comfort. oh how you missed speaking the language too. "calm my sweet girl, it will be okay."

as you finally caught up to rhaenys, the two dragons held pace with one another as you surveyed the fields below. ser criston cole's army had been spotted approaching rooks rest. the elder women held your eyes. a message passing through the two of you to get this done as quickly as possible. and with a cry, meleys delved to the army, silverwing not far behind her

a mix of anxiety and adrenaline coursed through your veins. you were petrified at failing the mission and returning to your mother's disappointed face with the castle in the hands of the greens. yet the pure adrenaline of gaining your revenge from those who supported the man who usurped your mother's throne and took your brother urged you to keep going "attack silverwing." you called out causing the dragon to plummet to the ground to attack those below.

the field that was once riddled with soldiers was now nothing but flame and smoke. red heat from the lips of your dragon had engulfed almost the entirety of the battlefield. the flames below you were nothing of the flickering of the candles in dragonstone that brought you comfort. no, the flames you caused mirrored the emotion inside, the intensity of the anger you felt, the betrayal from the man you once loved to cause this amount of pain. 

a sound you had not heard in a long time broke you out of your rage induced comatose. you froze, the greens had come for you. looking up, you recognised the gleaming golden dragon belonging to the usurper king aegon. sunfyre. your anger had only intensified at the man willing himself to fight against you and your grandmother. doubling around the castle, silverwing dipped her sharpened claws into the ocean's water, ensuring a clean cut against sunfyre before rising above the cliffs face, ready for battle. he was no match for that of silverwing and meleys.

despite the adrenaline within, you could not help but worry for your grandmother, as you watched the flames engulf both her and aegon as the dance begun. the women held a dear place in your heart and the image of her being hurt was enough to push you to attack the sun kissed dragon. flying to meet your grandmother, silverwing allowed herself to flip and glide between the flames aimed at you both. the bellows of aegon left a satisfying smirk upon your lips as meleys claws took hold within the belly of the enemy dragon, as you willed silverwing to attack the dragon's wings from above. clawing and scratching at sunfyre, silverwing and meleys both have seemed to have done immense damage to the golden beauty. chunks of the dragons wings had been ripped out and cuts adorned her body, red blood oozing out of her scales. the final blow had been dealt by your grandmother, yet war was far from over as a sickening roar had been heard beyond the trees.

aemond taragaryen had come out to play.

your breath hitched, letting you only to take only shallow breathes as vhagar descended from the trees. you tried to be brave, tried to hold back the tears that were evident in your glassy eyes yet you couldn't. tear drops sprung like rivers cascading down your terror-stricken face as you saw the shining silver hair of the man who had once been the love of your life, and subsequently the reasoning behind all your pain. wrapping the leather reigns that kept you in control of your dragon, you urged her to continue flying around rooks rest. the wind blew harshly as you circled the ashy landscape, drying your tears and making whatever was left stick to your reddened face. as vhagar descended upon the battle in the sky,  hought's swam through your head as you shouted at your dragon to attack, you wished away all feelings of dread. 

in that sliver of calm, you could not help but feel drawn to the sun as it had once again graced you with its appearance. and with lucerys velaryon looking down on you, you knew the gods wanted you to have your revenge in that moment. they had brought aemond to the battle for a reason after all.

flying up to sit side by side with rhaenys, you allowed the hatred in your heart to take over. the fire in your blood burned at the audacity for aemond to dare show his face after all that he had done. 

"it has to be me grandmother." you shouted over the howling winds in high valyrian. the distaste within had spoken clearly, it had to be you who destroyed the man in front of you. you knew rhaneys understood that, but you also knew she carried the same stubborn nature that all targaryen's had come to possess. plowing into vhagar first, it was obvious she was no match for the queen of dragons. sending waves of fire to the boy riding her, melyes took the moment of distraction to tear at the beast's stomach. 

unbeknownst to you, sunfyre had risen again at the sound of vhagar's approach. seeing the flame grown in the dragon's mouth, rhaneys abandoned the attack on the larger dragon, instead focusing on the dragon mere inches from you. ambushing her from the side, meleys' jaws clamp around the neck of the usurper's dragon. in a state of shock, you forced silverwing to the side, gratefulness gracing your features at your saviour. 

nonetheless, it was plain to see that both meleys and silverwing did not hold enough power to over through the two dragon's that had come to fight. with rhaenys preoccupied with the second coming of sunfyre and aegon, it had left you with the battled against  vhagar. having lived centuries you knew that you were no match for her. she had helped with aegon the conqueror's conquest and that alone had gained her much more experience in battle than your dragon would ever come to know.

reality kicked in like a knife to your stomach. understanding what you had to do sent shivers down your spine, but there was no other way.  to kill the dragon you must kill the rider. 

your mind flickered back to the many moments you had spent with aemond over the years. sneaking into one another's chambers at night to tell stories you have read in history books. the days spent in the garden giggling at the idiocy of your family. and as the two of you got older, you recounted the longing gazes in one another's directions, the stammering and blush that rose to your cheeks anytime he was near. the brushing of limbs at the feast as your grandsire had announced the betrothal. 

none of that mattered now. he had made his choice when he decided to slay his kin and you had made yours. 

gazing upon silverwing properly for the last time you spoke quietly "forgive me, comfort my mother when i am gone. i beg of you." the silver beauty squeaked in return, a note of sadness in her tone. she would miss you just as much as she missed queen alyssane, but she would honour your choice gallantly. "fly back to dragonstone when i am gone. i do not wish you to suffer the same fate, my love."

with your mind made up, you willed your dragon to fly to meet aemond and vhagar taking in a shaky breathe as you did. as silverwing glided through the air, her claw's tore through vhagar. nevertheless, the silver beauty had barely left any damage. vhagar's thick skin was almost impenetrable, only small surface wound were left behind from the attacks you inflicted on her. the only thing that kept you alive was your dragon's ability to stray so close to vhagar yet slip effortlessly beyond her reach whenever her jaws made an attempt to kill you both. 

allowing silverwing to deal with vhagar, meant that you were left to deal with her rider; your glassy eyes never leaving  the man who had caused you such suffering. he had grown you noted, his cheeks now hollowed out as if he has been struggling to eat, a dark crescent clear under his one good eye. the hate in your heart weakened, you had almost felt an ounce of sympathy at his obviously heartbroken state. you wondered if he had regretted his actions; had regretted pushing you away. you wondered if he blamed himself for what had happened that night, if he had really meant to kill luke on purpose. but you also knew you would wonder these things for the rest of your life if you let him live. no matter how much remorse he truly felt within you could never forget his actions, the way in which he took pride in what he did, bragging about being the first to spill blood in this horrific war. and that was enough for you to keep fighting.

pulling away from vhagar for a final time, you flew back around the castle unstrapping the saddle you had on silverwing, tossing it to the wind. unstrapping the sword, daemon had given you from your twentieth name day, you held it in your palm with such force that your knuckles began to whiten. as silverwing set her sights on vhagar once more, a final sound of pain came from your dragon as she knew what you had planned to do. knowing there was no way in changing your mind she flew above the dragon and its rider, positioning you perfectly in what you aimed to do. 

holding onto one of the many talons in her back, you allowed yourself to stand upon your dragon's back, the sword still tight in your hand. your eyes had never left that of the icy lilac that sat below you. the mix of fear and understanding stood in his, as he knew what you were about to do a second too late. the shock of realisation came as he tried to unfasten the straps that kept him tied to vhagar. she was too big of a dragon to move in time for what you were about to bestow upon the targaryen prince, and it was too high of a jump for him to survive.  

jumping from your dragon's back you let your mind to once again reflect all the love you had for aemond taragaryen. allowing yourself to find comfort in the fact that you had known love in your lifetime.

and as you drew the sword through him, you felt no remorse. a debt had been payed. revenge had been served. for luke.

but, there was no escaping the torment your heart inflicted upon you in the moment your sword pierced his only good eye. you had thought aemond would hold loathing at what you had done in his final moments, but all he felt was abhorrence for himself. driving you to the point of sorrow and grief where you had felt like you could do nothing more than seek revenge for what he had done. whispering a soft "i love you'' before you had pierced him, gave you the closure you had needed. those three words had answered all the questions that had played over and over in your mind, running rampant through your darkest hours.

the history books recalled that you had died peacefully with no call of a dragon to save you. you had plummeted to the ground with the man you had loved, knowing you had avenged your sweet innocent brother lucerys and had come to learn aemond had regretted his actions dearly. this was truly enough for you to die happily. and that you did.

[pickingupmymercedes]

She's here and she's not only ours - Lewis Hamilton

Series: She's here and she's ours / She's here and she's not only ours / She's here and she's just like you / She's not here, but she'll be / She's here and she won't be the only one / She's here and he won't let her give up / She's here and so is he

pairing: Dad!Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

wordcount: +1k

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

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Navigating the journey from being a couple to becoming a family is often likened to entering a whole new world—one filled with unpredictable challenges and profound joys. The radiant 7-month-old girl had effortlessly woven herself into the fabric of your lives, captivating not only you and Lewis but everyone who crossed her path. Yet, adjusting to new routines, shifting priorities, managing emotional and physical changes, and, most crucially, cultivating a deep bond with your child were aspects of parenthood that no book, class, or well-meaning advice had adequately prepared you for.

And so, the real test of parenthood often lay in learning to prioritize.

“Oh my God, she’s growing up so quickly!” Susie exclaimed, her eyes lighting up as she entered the living area of your apartment, making a beeline for the giggling toddler seated in her bumbo seat on the kitchen island.

“Please, don’t remind me. Time is flying by too fast already,” you replied, your smile widening as you watched your baby recognize Susie and reach out to be scooped up.

“I’m sorry for dropping by unannounced… I just... I had to know why,” Susie said, her expression curious and concerned.

You had expected people to comment and be surprised, but you hadn’t anticipated the attention coming so soon, even before you and Lewis had a chance to share your news.

“So, I take it everyone at Mercedes already knows?”

“More like everyone on the paddock, probably,” Susie confirmed.

“Do you remember her first few days? When she struggled to gain weight and every day felt like a battle?”

The first inkling that something was amiss came mere hours after you had returned home with your newborn daughter. Her incessant cries and insatiable hunger, even after an hour of breastfeeding, had raised red flags.

You had been warned that the initial days would be challenging—that you were now solely responsible for nourishing a tiny human. So, you soldiered on, suppressing your growing panic and tears, dreading the 40-minute feeding intervals where you’d bite your tongue and cheeks to keep from crying.

You tried every trick in the book—increasing your water intake, warm and cold compresses, dietary changes, pumping between feeds, consulting lactation specialists, and even consuming magic lactation cookies. Yet, your milk supply remained stubbornly low.

The sense of failure weighed heavily on you; your primary role was to nurture your baby, something you had done successfully during pregnancy. Instead of relishing the joys of new motherhood, you felt like a failure, a lesser mother to your daughter and a villain to your husband's fairytale of having kids.

Lewis was acutely aware of your distress and tried to be supportive. Despite knowing, as doctors and specialists had advised, that you needed to supplement with formula for both your daughter’s and your own well-being, he refrained from pressuring you. Every night he would feel as though you were punching him in the face when you went out of his sight to cry, or how his chest would tighten when he carried your screaming daughter in his arms, knowing she needed more, from him and from you. Still, he didn’t have in him to lecture you, yet again, on how that little girl needed more, not when you were giving your life and sanity away for her.

It wasn’t until the day before her second week checkup that you broke down. You knew the scale wasn’t going to give her much more grams than she had the past week, way less than she deserved and the added burden that he would be going for his first race of the season in a couple days had you reaching your breaking point.

Seeing Lewis on the sofa, looking worried and worn-out, you collapsed in front of him, letting your tears flow freely. He held you, comforting you with gentle whispers, and you both agreed that transitioning to formula was for the best. Despite the months of hearing about the benefits of breastfeeding, you had come to understand that sometimes the most challenging part of parenthood was knowing when to stand your ground and make the best choice for your family.

“We don’t want his job to feel like a burden every weekend,” you said.

“So, the Hamiltons will be a staple in the paddocks?” Susie asked, her approving smile revealing her pride.

“Life doesn’t always go as planned, does it?” You shrugged

“The media is going to love that smile,” Susie cooed, her attention directed at the toothy grin of your daughter.

“Yeah… She won’t be only ours, but Lewis needs her as much as she needs him. I guess it’s a small price to pay,” you replied, smiling at your yawning daughter in Susie’s lap, her little hands rubbing her eyes—a clear sign that her naptime was due.

“Please, let me. She still loves Disney songs, right?” Susie absentmindedly asked, already heading towards your daughter’s room, laying the toddler on her cheast and ready to lull her to sleep with a familiar melody. As you watched, you couldn’t help but marvel at how your daughter had already captured so many hearts at such a young age.

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TAGLIST - @saturnssunflower @xoscar03 @chocolatediplomatdreamerzonk

If you'd like to be added to my taglist you can leave a comment or send me a dm/ask.

[eggluverz]

Dan Feng's disciple! Reader x Dan Heng IL Synopsis Idea: She tried to stop them from taking him away from her, she really did. But Jingliu and Jing Yuan were quick to stop her. She spent so many nights alone... Until she saw him. The man she loved and would give up her life for. She's not letting him slip away from her this time. Thank you~~❤️

AFTER ALL THIS TIME

PAIRING. dan feng x f!reader; dan heng x f!reader

WORD COUNT. 3,741

SUMMARY. you were the great imbibitor lunae's disciple. he trusted you with his life and you with his. but when the time came, you weren't able to save him. what happens when you run into his reincarnation years down the line?

SOF'S NOTE. i had so much fun writing this!! i wrote it 2 days ago now but i just haven't had the time to post it t-t but i'm finally moved into my new place and managed to squeeze this post in <3 i rly rly enjoyed writing this so i hope y'all enjoy reading!! and special ty to the anon who requested this!! ^-^

The art of cloudhymn magic was difficult to master. Even as a high elder yourself, there were intricacies you could not figure out on your own. But you trained daily, practiced in seclusion, and read all the books passed down from the most renowned masters. 

Each day, your knowledge grew. Your natural talents aided you in perfecting your own personalized form of cloudhymn magic.

Still, Dan Feng noticed flaws in your execution. Movements that should be more precise, patterns that should flow more intricately. You noticed him silently watching you on the vast training grounds. He wasn’t much older than you, yet his magic was already intricately refined— The makings of a leader to the Vidyadharas.

He saw great power within you, he told you in passing as he took you under his wing. There was much you could gain from him, he promised. 

Years went by as you studied under Dan Feng. He has many supporters and people who looked up to him, but he only allowed you as his disciple. You were the only one who could rightfully address him as master. 

As he grew in his status as a member of the High Cloud Quintet and later the Imbibitor Lunae, you too grew in your mastery of cloudhymn magic. You were able to learn Dan Feng’s signature combat skill of deflecting iron, making arrows of most enemies fall flat at your feet. But your skill shined in the illusions you were able to create. Not even the Imbibitor Lunae was as skilled in that art as you. 

Your power grew and as such, Dan Feng recognized you as more of an equal than a disciple. Out of respect for all the teachings he imparted on you, you still called him master. There was no way you would reach your level of strength in this short amount of time without someone like him fostering your talents.

Along the way, you found yourself viewing him as more than your master. When he began treating you as someone who matched his power rather than someone with much to learn, you were able to feel confident in all your abilities.

One late night, Dan Feng took you to his sacred training grounds for a sparring session. He had just returned from a stressful battle and while the casualties were low, they were more than he felt comfortable with. 

“If anything happens to me, at least I will know the Vidyadhara will be in good hands,” Dan Feng commended as you blocked the tip of his spear from grazing the base of your neck. 

You quickly shifted your gears from defending to attacking, knowing if you let Dan Feng get too many attacks in, he would be almost unstoppable. Spinning your spear in your hands, you imbued the weapon with water and launched it directly at your master’s chest. 

A normal man would have fallen dead before even realizing you attacked him, but not the Imbibitor Lunae. He sidestepped, the scene appearing like a mirage due to his speed. 

“Nothing is going to happen to you, master,” you scoffed. “You’re the strongest Vidyadhara alive. Not even I could defeat you in battle.”

He hummed, tapping his spear to the back of your neck, signaling you lost this spar. “Battle is not the only way someone can fall.”

Wiping a bead of sweat off your forehead, you sighed, sauntering away from him and back inside his living quarters. “Continuously speaking of your self-proclaimed inevitable downfall is unbecoming of you, master. What would the people think of a disciple who follows someone without faith in his own ability to live?” 

Dan Feng chuckled softly. “A pitiful disciple, is what outsiders would say.” You nodded and he stopped you in your tracks, running his index finger against your jaw. His fingernail dug into the bottom of your chin to lift your head until your burning gaze met his sharp one. “But we never cared much about what outsiders think, did we?” 

You placed your palm against his chest, feeling the detailed fabric of his garments. They were thick yet light, a sign of great craftsmanship that only the highest of elders could afford. You allowed your hands to roam along his body before Dan Feng grabbed your wrist, his long fingers wrapping easily around its circumference. 

He smirked. “Wait until we’re indoors, my beloved.” 

“Yes, master,” you complied with a roll of your eyes before releasing the front of his outwear. You held complete respect for the Imbibitor Lunae, and you revered him as such. But those moments when it was just you and Dan Feng—just you and your partner—you weren’t one to shy away from meeting his biting remarks. 

This night, like many, led to moments of passion on the silken sheets draped over Dan Feng’s mattress. It was a mixture of love, respect, and the intense craving for more. 

Your master, the Imbibitor Lunae, a member of the High Cloud Quintet— Dan Feng was many things. But most importantly, he was yours. 

Until he wasn’t. 

No good thing was meant to last, Dan Feng once said during an endless night of reflection as he laid in bed beside you. Friendships, relationships, entire civilizations, built to be destroyed from the start. 

No good thing was meant to last. But he would fight his damned hardest to ensure they did. 

And for once, his hardest wasn’t enough. 

It was the middle of the night when your living quarters were barged into. You woke with a start and noticed Dan Feng quickly wrapping your robes around your naked body. 

The noises weren’t at the bedroom yet; you heard the thuds from outside and you immediately called for your strongest weapon. Noticing even the slightest of your movements, Dan Feng softly placed his hand on top of yours. Almost imperceptibly, he shook his head. 

Your eyes widened, wanting to ask what he could’ve possibly been thinking. There was a large group of men outside with hostile intent, did he not want to protect himself from an attack? 

“I am going to see what they need,” he said calmly, pulling you into his arms and leaving a kiss on your forehead. “Please, stay here for me.”

A few members of the High Cloud Quintet—Dan Feng’s closest friends that easily became yours as well—were staying at the guest chambers at the Imbibitor Lunae’s invitation. At the commotion outside, Jingliu came in with a groggy look on her face, tired from being woken up, but not an ounce of surprise in her. 

Dan Feng nodded to her and a silent Jing Yuan that filed in behind her. “Jingliu, Jing Yuan… Make sure she stays out of harm’s way.”

“Of course,” promised Jing Yuan, a soft smile painting his lips despite the sad look in his eyes. 

As he spoke, the doors to the bedroom burst open, a trio of Vidyadhara Preceptors breaking down the defenses you and Dan Feng had set. Your spear was in your hand in an instant and you tightened the knot on your robe with your other hand. 

Dan Feng stood straight in high alert, though his expression remained as one of nonchalance and arrogance. “Can I help you?”

Without a single moment spared for niceties, the Cloud Knights charged in to grab the Imbibitor Lunae. The Preceptors sent chains of rope instead of metal to wrap around Dan Feng. Your eyes blazed as you immediately called upon your cloudhymn magic. Water danced around your spear in sharp droplets, and you pointed it directly at the Head Preceptor. 

He narrowed his eyes in your direction. “Stand down, or you will face the same punishment.” 

“That’s only if you can beat us,” you laughed with disdain. Despite the big group, you were certain you and Den Feng had the ability to hold them off together. 

“Don’t,” Jingliu called out, gently placing her hand on your shoulder. “We can’t help him anymore, Y/N. Not after what he did. Don’t get hurt in the crossfire.” 

You knew what Dan Feng had done. For Yingxing. And you both knew the crime he would have to commit to help his best friend, but you never imagined the punishment would be so severe. A crowd of Cloud Knights and even a group of the Vidyadhara Preceptors here, together, all to subdue the Imbibitor Lunae. 

But it didn’t matter the crimes he committed or the consequences he may have incited through his actions. None of it mattered because he was your Dan Feng. Your master and your lover who you would protect with your entire life. 

Unfortunately, Dan Feng seemed to know that, having gotten Jingliu and Jing Yuan here to hold you back.

Before you could move, Jing Yuan held your arm back and prevented you from using your spear. Your eyes widened in shock. 

“Jing Yuan…?”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. It’s too late for Dan Feng, but not for you.”

The Cloud Guards briefly turned their attention towards you and the members of the High Cloud Quintet. Their swords raised as they noticed the fire in your eyes. 

Dan Feng snarled when he saw their focus on you. “If you hurt her, you will all pay,” he warned, his voice a low growl that would’ve made an ordinary man quiver. He began to move his arms in a way that could only be described as the start of a cloudhymn spell and in an instant, all eyes were on him. The ropes tightened, restricting his movement in a way that caused immense pain. 

“I love you,” were Dan Feng’s last words as he was forced out of his own estate. “Take care of yourself, my beloved.”

“Why do you speak as if you’re going to be gone?” you cried, refusing to believe someone as strong as your master could be subdued even by a group as large as this. “I’ll come get you—!”

You felt the sharp point of a sword on your neck as you summoned your spear. The nick was only a warning, but it was enough to draw blood. Your eyes widened and you stilled under the mercy of Jingliu’s weapon. 

“I’m sorry,” she said. “You cannot.”

Feeling helpless and pathetic, all you could do was fight to not lose consciousness as Jingliu swiftly knocked you out. 

Your eyes drifted open and shut, your hand that was wrapped around your spear instantly loosened and the weapon that contained so much power fell at your side like a dull needle. 

The next time you woke, you were at your own residence. You had left this place to have a sanctuary with Dan Feng. Your sanctuary that was invaded, attacked, and taken from you. 

You went back on forth between two states of mind. One was complete and utter numbness at the loss you suffered. The other was uncontrollable pain and sadness. 

You spent your days and nights crying, refusing to see a single soul. You turned your meals away even when your loved ones begged you to take a bite. There was a hole in your heart at the thought of your master’s punishment. 

In your eyes, Dan Feng’s own best friends betrayed him, betrayed you. And after that night, you knew you would never want to be in contact with any of them again. 

To save a life, to save a friend who no longer regarded Dan Feng in the same light… You never could have imagined the punishment would be forced reincarnation. 

Uncontrollable sobs racked through your body, throat hoarse from the amount of crying you’ve done for weeks straight. It wasn’t only forced reincarnation, but also torture and imprisonment you knew he was facing. 

You had the strongest Vidyadhara alive as a master, yet you failed to learn enough to save him. When it mattered most, you couldn’t help.

Days turned to weeks, weeks turned to months, and months turned to years. Those thoughts ate you alive before you were able to finally continue on with your life. 

You were no longer a Xianzhou resident. You refused the help the Vidyadhara with any advances in medicine and combat, keeping any profound knowledge of cloudhymn magic that Dan Feng shared only with you to yourself. The Preceptors couldn’t be trusted with anymore power. They had made themselves and enemy to you. As did the Cloud Knights, and inadvertently, the Cloud Knight General himself. 

Still, you tried not to let the hatred consume you. Vengeance would only breed insanity. Your mind would be consumed with sorrow and pain and you would never be able to heal. 

Dan Feng wouldn’t want that. 

You had to continue to live, for the both of you. 

Using your privilege as a Vidyadhara, you were able to travel around to different planets with relative ease. There were so many things to experience, such beautiful things to see—when you weren’t tangled in constant politics and battles. Your only wish was that Dan Feng was here to explore the universe with you. 

There were places where he didn’t need to have the pressure of the world on his shoulders. He wouldn’t be Imbibitor Lunae. He wouldn’t be a member of the famous High Cloud Quintet. Instead, he would just be Dan Feng, and you would get to explore the world as such. 

You wondered if his transition into the modern world would have been as smooth as yours. As you reminisced about your past, a nostalgic smile formed on your face. 

As you walked around this new city, you stared up at the flurries of pink and purple in the sky. The scenery was amazing here. With vast bodies of water and a bustling area of commerce and entertainment on the shorelines, you couldn’t help but look around in awe. Amidst your sightseeing, you felt yourself run into someone, dropping the map you held in your hands. 

“Oh!” you gasped in surprise. “I wasn’t looking at where I was going. I apologize.” 

“I wasn’t looking either,” the stranger said in response, picking the paper map up for you before the wind could sweep it away. “Here you go.”

As he handed you your belongings, you finally managed to get a good look at his face. Surprised by what you saw—what you felt—you accidentally dropped the map once more. 

The man gaped at you before hesitantly reaching down to pick up your map once more. This time, he held it instead of giving it back.

“Would you like your map back?” he asked slowly, this expression unsure.

The memories of the past slammed into you as you looked into his turquoise eyes. The bright green burned into yours. This man in front of you did not have the characteristics of a Vidyadhara. He did not don horns, a tail, or sharp ears like he once did. But there was no doubt in your mind— This was Dan Feng. At least, the person that emerged from Dan Feng’s forced reincarnation.

Tears started flowing down your face as you wondered what to say. Should you even say anything? You didn’t want to lose him again, but you wondered if the man in front of you would even want to get to know you. Dan Feng was a high elder, a powerful one at that. This man must’ve had some dreams about his past life— What if they were bad? What if they were all of the punishment? The crime? What if no part of him remembered you?

As you stood there, stuck in your thoughts, you noticed the stranger staring at the horns on top of your head. Then, at your tears. 

Without saying a word, he seemed to understand. “I’m not him.”

Your breath caught in your throat and you felt choked up. You knew that. Of course a reincarnation wouldn’t be your Dan Feng. But would it be close enough? 

Shaking your head, you scolded yourself internally. This man is not Dan Feng, he said so himself. And it would be twisted to project the qualities of your lover onto him without even getting the chance to know him.

“I know,” you said sadly, a disdainful smile on your face. “I just…sensed some of him in you.”

He nodded, a guarded look on his face despite the tilt of curiosity from his neck.“What were you to him?”

You smiled sadly, clutching the map in your hands and relaxing again. “His disciple. A close friend,” you said. You gazed into his eyes with an unwavering look. “His partner.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

He hesitated for a moment, looking around the area. You were at the beachside with patches of sand, grass, and pavement lining the ground. “Would you like to sit somewhere and talk?”

Deciding it would be rather tiring for you to stand and talk all day, you agreed with his suggestion. Silently, you walked over to the sand with Dan Feng’s reincarnation in tow and took a seat. The ground was warm and soft as you ran your fingers through the rocky granules.

As you watched the waves crash against the shore, you felt your body relax. Cloudhymn magic often   well with the element, and you found you had a natural affinity towards it yourself. 

After a few moments passed, you figured that, since he wasn’t Dan Feng, it would be rather rude of you not to introduce yourself. “I’m Y/N, by the way.”

He gazed out into the water before turning his head to you. “Dan Heng.”

Although you attempted to hide your amused grin, you felt the corners of your mouth lifting upwards. “Creative.”

He shrugged, fighting off a smile of his own.

“So, Dan Heng… Do you remember anything about your past life?”

“Some things,” he admitted, resting a palm on the sand behind his back. “None of them are good.”

You frowned. There was no doubt you blamed the Preceptors for that. Dan Feng lived years and years of life, love, and even sorrow. But for his reincarnation to only know him as something negative? That didn’t sit well with you. 

“Although, I have to wonder,” he continued, gazing at you with an inquisitive look in his eyes, “if he was capable of love and partnership, could he be more than the arrogant criminal my memories have painted him out to be?”

You softened. Any hatred he felt towards Dan Feng wasn’t his fault. And he was certainly struggling as Dan Feng’s reincarnation. 

“He was certainly more than a criminal,” you promised. “More than the Imbibitor Lunae, even. Dan Feng was a real person who experiences emotions and feelings, like any other.” 

Dan Heng’s brows furrowed, but he said nothing. 

“If you want to learn more about him, I’ll always be here for you to ask.”

“And if I don’t?” 

You smiled sadly. “As much as that pains me, it’s your right. Each Vidyadhara can choose how much of their past they want to remember or embrace— Or if they want to start anew completely.”

“I do.”

A long exhale escaped your mouth as thoughts of your past filled your memories. You made no mistake— The man in front of you was not Dan Feng. Dan Feng was deceased, and holding on to any hope would only be futile and lead to more main. 

Instead, the man in front of you was Dan Heng, a reincarnation of Dan Feng. A Vidyadhara who deliberately chose to not incorporate his past life into his current. And that was okay.

“I am remorseful,” you admitted. Dan Heng nodded in understanding. “However, I am comforted knowing his reincarnation is here, and he looks happy. Dan Feng would be happy for you.”

He laughed quietly. “I find that hard to believe.”

You gave him a look. “You don’t know him like I do.” 

“Yes, you’re right.” 

Dan Heng sighed in contemplation, conflict evident in his expression. You weren’t sure what exactly what he was thinking, but you sensed deep turmoil within him. It was only natural, you assumed, after something he had such conviction for was shaken at its very foundation. 

“Do you want to board the Astral Express with me?” he asked hesitantly. 

You blinked at the sudden question. “Pardon?”

“Sorry,” said Dan Heng, clearing his throat. “That was impulsive.” He paused before continuing. “From talking to you, I gathered that maybe you’re being held back by your past, too.”

Your eyes widened in surprised. You didn’t except him to be so blunt. Perhaps he had some similarities to Dan Feng after all. 

“If you’re lost or want a place to call home, maybe you can pay it a visit,” he offered nonchalantly. “We travel the universe and occasionally assist some planets. I have a feeling you’d like it.”

The Astral Express? You wondered how a place like that would be. For so long, you’ve been traveling alone, avoiding the Xianzhou and even some Vidyadhara who might know of your existence as Dan Feng’s disciple and lover. 

A part of you longed for a social connection again— A place to belong. 

After some thinking, you asked, “Do you want me there?” 

“Yes— As Dan Heng though,” he reminded firmly. “Not Dan Feng.”

You laughed in amusement. “Good. I’m interested in getting to know your new life, Dan Heng,” you said, extending your hand out for him to shake. “Thank you for inviting me in.”

He took it gently, his hand lingering on yours even after the handshake was over. “Maybe you can tell me more about Dan Feng once we arrive at the Express. The parts that aren’t so bad.”

The look on his face told you he was genuine. You smiled. “I’d love that.”

Understanding passed between the two of you as you sat there in contentment. The wind whirled around you and the steady sound of the waves soothed your soul. 

“I want to learn about Dan Feng’s life,” concluded Dan Heng, unwavering. “Still, I think it is best if we look forward to making new memories of our own more.”

You nodded in quiet agreement, eyes never leaving his. 

The past was something you held near and dear to your heart. Dan Feng was someone you would always love and respect. But perhaps the future would have more in store for you, if you only allowed it. 

And as Dan Heng smiled his small smile and offered you a hand up from the sand, you thought, This time, you would. 

[glow-in-the-dark-death]

So here is another DPXDC crossover idea nice-ish pariah dark au pariah dark dad au pariah dark x clockwork gender-fluid Danny au ghost prince Danny au Danny x Damien Danny steeling lost artifacts from places so that they don’t get into the wrong hands and Gotham has a bunch

Danny has taken up the job of helping get lost artifacts from the zone back to the infinite realms and giving items lost the zone back to the families of those that lost them Danny is having fun evading the superheroes

Damien is having fun trying to catch the thief that was stealing supposedly cursed artifacts and is surprised when he finally corners the thief that it is a someone his own age and is even more surprised when the thief disappears the literally second he turns his back

Let's see what prompt I can come up with. ✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧

~

Chase Me, Catch Me, Will You Love Me?

When he was a child he dreamed of going to space being able to chase the vastness of stars.

After his accident that was a dream he had to give up, after that his life became too busy to really think about it.

Gaining powers

Fighting ghosts each day

Trying to do her best in school

Realizing her gender

Evading and escaping his parents

The GIW

He needed a break but not because of this

This being his parents finding out about them being Phantom and not taking it well.

Ha

'Not taking it well' was an understatement.

She fled to the Infinity Realms towards ClockWork. CW felt more like his dad than Jack had for a long while now. He was a bit suspicious when CW told him that the Zone had decided to rehabilitate Pariah Dark but so far he had been staying in line if a bit of a harsh grump and maybe a future parental figure with how he and CW seemed to look at each other when they thought the other wasn't paying attention.

But on the other hand she was thankful he was still king and not Danny, wow had that been a shock to her finding out he was almost king before he was even an adult, he was still titled prince but at least he wasn't the one in charge of everything.

Speaking of being in charge of things, they as a prince still had duties to fulfill, ClockPa had decided it was best for his growth that she return to Earth but not the same one where he would be in danger, no instead it was an Earth with multiple heroes and magic and even aliens!!!

The only thing he had to do was find haunted or ecto powered objects and either return them to their rightful owner or have it put somewhere secure.

"This is going to be so much fun!"

~

Damian had a new rogue, they called themselves Phantom and their crimes resembled greatly of Catwoman's only with seemingly spiritual centered objects.

He had already faced the teasing of all his siblings about how he was resembling father

...and as much as he hated agreeing with them, after almost a year of constantly fighting, chasing, bantering and most recently actually getting to talking he had learned that they were very close in age and had a lot of similar interest they could talk about together with for hours if given the chance.

Soon their dynamic slowly began shifting without either realizing it,

And well who knows what the future holds for them but until then,

The chase continues.

~

Fin

~

Hope you liked it Anon

~

Just an Idea

[mysoullanguage]

#0017 your relationship with your mother, based on your moon sign

aries moon: your mother could’ve been an example of independence and freedom. she could’ve been a highly confident person with great ambitions and determination. for you, you would’ve always had your personal space and independence respected. now, you would be a confidently independent person with respect for others’ boundaries. your mother would build you up instead of seeing you as competition. another side to this placement could be a mother who was controlling or superstitious of what you were doing. obsessiveness or severe possessiveness could’ve led you to have a lot of anxiety with others in your personal space. therefore, you’ve become a hyper independent person who sees other people’s company as a threat. because you worked so hard to gain your own independence from having your independence, privacy, and boundaries violated as a child, you tend to build up emotional walls around yourself. your mother could’ve been a temperamental type with an unpredictable attitude in the house. commitment issues or issues with emotions are a common theme with this placement as any sort of tension or problem = a threat to you. this, as a result, causes you to resent your mother as someone who has hurt your self-esteem, confidence, and as someone who never respected your privacy and boundaries. the mother could've acted the father or have bad relations with the father or may have competed with him. mommy issues are common here.

taurus moon: this is a comforting moon placement, as your mother was likely a very caring and hardworking person. the only negative really about this placement could've been a highly materialistic view on life or a person overly protective with low self-esteem; someone who focused on work too much to the point of neglect. generally, however, this is a very reliable person who taught you a lot when it came to self-worth. she could've taught you how to build it yourself through her own insecurities or she could've helped you build it by supporting you. she may have taught you that material things = happiness. you are traditional and have very strong morals. she may have been overly traditional however; she may have had strict rules or may have been rigid with her upbringing of you. generally, she was an anchor to you because of her ability to teach you patience and resistance. this isn't a hugely emotional placement (for you or the mother) but there is great wait and patience when feeling things. impulses are not rushed and neither is sadness but they are felt. you have been taught to take life slowly and to take partnerships seriously rather than treating them like they only come once in a lifetime. your mother could’ve projected her ideal version of you and tried to make you do things to fit a “perfect” picture — she expected too much of you.

gemini moon: your mother could’ve been someone who gossiped or spoke in public. for you, emotions are either a silent topic or are actually very well expressed. if your mother was someone who projected onto you or provided a turbulent household (constantly moving, etc.) then you could’ve learned that, really, nowhere is your home. this is a very depressing placement to those who want a family as they feel it hard setting down roots or even connecting to their own previous roots. verbal abuse or a mother who was very emotionally distant OR unstable and could’ve caused you to be unsure of your true feelings. if your mother was in and out of your childhood, you were probably on your own and therefore became very used to your own company. as a result, you’ve become hyper-independent. curious and versatile with others, your versatility came from your imaginative childhood and forced use of skills and knowledge. on the other hand however, you could’ve just had a dynamic household in which travel and sport was emphasised. your creativity, curiosity, and passions were fuelled by a mother who was the same as you. so, she could’ve been great inspiration to you on how to use your words or thinking in a way that benefits you or the reason you are emotionally fickle. the stereotype that air moons are emotionally cold or unavailable stems from the fact that their mothers never really let them explore their feelings and, as a result, see them more of a chore than an actual element of humanity.

cancer moon: family is a strongly potent memory to you, in whatever context that may mean for you. your mother may have been a deeply compassionate person with a lot of care for the home and family. because this is in its natural placement, it indicates more peace than turbulence. you share a strong connection with your mother. your mother and household will have a big impact on your life, ultimately helping you decide what type of family you want, and what type of mother you want to be. on the one hand, your mother may have been incredibly patient, humble, caring, and loving. on the other, she may have been overly protective and overly possessive over you, sheltering you away from life's harsh realities and, as a result, causing you isolation and boredom. emotions are deeply felt and nostalgia/sentimentality are strong feelings in your life. the result of loneliness in your household may have caused you to be overly dependent in relationships or forces you to over-indulge in emotions in relationships. alternatively, emotions may set you off altogether and you may deal with things on your own. abandonment issues may be a prominent observation with this placement. mommy issues are also prominent here.

leo moon: your mother was the source of your self-esteem issues or your radiant confidence. on the one hand, your mother could’ve been a confident and artistic person with a great attitude towards life. she could’ve been a fashionable and intelligent person with great optimism. this would’ve caused you to develop a healthy self-esteem with a love of self-love and dignity. for you, you are highly dignified and never seek for others’ approval. on the other hand, your mother could’ve seen you as competition or as someone who challenged her authority. she could’ve seen you as an extension of herself, ultimately using you as a project, projecting her insecurities and feelings onto you. you may have, therefore, become heavily burdened with doubts of your own self-esteem and value. so, you tend to look for value through others. you cannot self-validate yourself so you look for validation and approval through others. this toxic pattern leads to many vain and dangerous relationships in which your insecurities must be overcome by appearances and material things. you may have become a bad people pleaser as a result of your mother’s demanding nature or someone who had a strong self-image.

virgo moon: this placement is very popular with vain or insecure people as their mother could’ve been a highly critical and difficult person. for you, you could’ve had a hardworking mother or a mother who was insecure… or even very sick in general. either way, diet may have been important in her life or your life as either may have struggled from sort of diet restriction or disorder. your mother could’ve been a great public speaker who used her voice to help others and was, in general, a very caring person with a loving heart. she could’ve shown you the true meaning of healing and helping others, or she could’ve turned you into an absolute people-pleaser with little to no boundaries. your experiences are often self-sabotaged. for example, relationships are often manifested to challenge your self-perception. you may have a strong work ethic or you may be someone so emotionally out of tune you rarely let others see how you feel. you could be a very gentle and strong person otherwise. your personality can either be magnetic and gentle, or insecure and tense. lack of boundaries and lack of self-esteem and confidence could’ve forced you to let others abuse and hurt you because you have no sense of right or wrong. there could be very high expectations upon you or your mother was just very critical. virgo is a perfectionist; they typically despise anything or anyone that does not fit a specific ideal.

libra moon: your relationship with your mother could’ve been very vain or superficial. on the one hand, your mother could’ve been very feminine and beautiful. as a result of her presence and influence, you’ve become feminine and very beautiful too. if your mother was the type with high standards, her influence could’ve made you into someone who has high standards too, or at least someone who has a strong self-image. regardless however, your mother’s “looseness” or “unseriousness” and general optimism would’ve encouraged you to be the same. your flirtatious attitude and charming personality heavily reflects her buoyant personality. if your mother was the insecure type, she may have used relationships as an escape from reality or used relationships/men as a way to gain validation and value. in some aspects, she may have married the man for money. in general however, this is a very vain placement where appearances are heavily depended on. external validation reassures internal insecurities and reinforces a broken relationship you have with yourself. superficiality is a key observation as you tend to live life and relationships on the surface instead of reaching below.

scorpio moon: there is a greatly intuitive or psychic relationship with the mother. she may have been the source of great paranoia and emotional pain. manipulation, gaslighting, and invasiveness was probably a popular theme in your early childhood and present life. your mother was either very distant or very emotionally demanding with you. she would've expected you to understand life at a profoundly deep level and, oftentimes, she had a negative view of life and people, ultimately projecting it on you. thus you feel as though you were forced to understand too much at a very young age. in some instances, this placement could indicate a family with many secrets, with your birth being a reminder of certain secrets. your strained relationship with your mother causes you to actually have distrust with others and to have a hard time opening up to others. this is oftentimes the source of scorpio moon's "scared to open up unless it's with someone they love" stereotype. many people say scorpio moons are deeply emotional with caring and compassionate hearts but fail to mention it's because their mother has forced them to feel so much when they were young as a result of the mother's "need" to constantly probe into their lives.

sagittarius moon: for you, independence and spontaneity were a big theme in your childhood, and still are. your mother could've been the type of person who saw your potential from a very young age. she could've been overly protective over you or controlling to the point you felt restricted and burdened by her paranoia. alternatively, this could point to a mother who was very adventurous and spontaneous and was a great inspiration to you and helped you shape your view on your own life. she could've been a traditional person with strong morals, with you ultimately having them too. your need for independence stems from the likelihood you were very unique as a child and didn't fit in many places. there is mutual love and understanding of one another but there is also a tendency to be stubborn with one another. oftentimes, your philosophical way of living is actually opposite to your mother's; therefore, you learn to live opposite to what your mother has taught you. so, your mother becomes an important anchor in your way of living this way. personal observation: these people may be foreigners in another country OR have a foreign mother

capricorn moon: one issue with this placement is the material and cold emphasis typical with almost any capricorn placement. on the one hand, your mother could’ve been a highly skilled worker who was very hardworking and determined in the home. she could’ve been a very material person with great success and status to her name. her being family-oriented may have caused you to be the same. you may have traditional values that reflect your mother’s. on the other hand, you may have had a mother who was overly possessive and controlling. she was probably the type to worry too much or have too much control over your boundaries and self-esteem. her micro-managing you could’ve made you resent her care. emotional unpredictability could’ve been a strong theme but also the fact that emotional coldness from her would’ve turned you into someone who rarely focuses on the emotional, but instead, on the rational. you are a rational feeler with little regard to actual feelings like sadness. if this moon is positively aspected, you could have a very strong work ethic with great boundaries and good self-esteem. you are powerful in everything you do; you do not let your feelings and short-felt impulses lead you astray from your ultimate goal. for others, however, the lack of emotional support and comfort or constant smothering could’ve caused you to either become overly independent in fear of vulnerability and in fear of losing yourself in other people. you may have matured early. she was probably very serious and you may have always felt a silent disapproval from her. she expected you to follow the dogma or the rules of the book which, inevitably, has made you want to go against them…

aquarius moon: you are versatile, curious, and emotionally detached. this doesn't mean you don't feel emotions or aren't connected to them; rather, you think logically than emotionally. in your childhood, your mother could have been a highly inquisitive person, but one to let you to your own devices. this means you may have grown up very early or may have matured very early. your relationship with your mother may be very hot and cold or just very cold because the independence acquired in your childhood has caused you to be, inevitably, independent and self-reliant as an adult. there's little to no need for anyone really, even relationships. however, there is still a deeper yearning for connection and understanding between you and others. on a general level, you are a very mental person who prioritizes mental synchronicity. this is the key to ultimately unlocking your heart. your lack of emotional connection with your mother and her unpredictable emotions or attitudes would've ultimately led you to use problem-solving skills rather than compassion in many scenarios. additionally, you may have forgiven yourself for trying to rely on your mother for emotional support. simply put, she couldn’t offer you the emotional security you required. you may have had little to no friend groups as a child; you may have felt left out a lot.

pisces moon: there is often a sad disconnect with the mother as a child, whether the mother was absent/distant or actually dead. you may have a very intuitive bond with your mother but you may have also taken her burdens upon yourself as a child. you may have been lonely. on the one hand, she could have been a highly intuitive and caring person with a deep personality and an admirative perspective on life and people. mental illness, addiction, or neglect may run through the family whether your mother suffered from this or you. with this placement, you have learned compassion and patience and have learned understanding of other people's suffering. she may have been an artistic person with a loose approach to life and she could've been a genuinely compassionate inspiration to you. if not, she may have been an overly smothering person with little regard for your own individuality; she may have been insecure or may have had her head too far in the clouds at all times. she may have found it difficult to truly connect with life. there could’ve been more than one mother figure here. your relationship with your mother has caused you to become hyper aware of other people’s moods and reactions — you tend to “just know” how people feel.

[colourstreakgryffin]

*holds hands out for alms*

Reincarnation content where wife!s/o of Muzan who cared and loved him during his sickly heian days (who died either natural causes / accident, and he didn't get to appreciate her enough and is kind of an a-hole at that time) reborn as a hashira? And he stumbles upon her?

*coughs aggressively* i need bittersweet pining Muzan to cure my desperation

Wooowwww! I like this idea so much! This is actually very cool and I absolutely love this! Once again, thank you all for this incredible concepts! Muzan is quite the common powerhouse for this blog so let’s give him more attention

Kibutsuji Muzan- Loop-Around

Muzan knows those eyes too well… those beautiful, colourful eyes on a woman so pretty and loving. The flashbacks, the memories, the tragedy and the anger he feels over his past. Over his own failure and his own mistakes over what he did during Heian Era, during his life as a human. Those awful, painful drawn-out days where all he could do was sit in a bed and watch people come in and out of his room

The person who arrived the most was his assigned wife, Dokusha. A kind, patient, sophisticated woman of wealth, and she always spent so much time to take care of and love Muzan, all whilst looking around for the right medicine to cure his terminal illness. Muzan, during this time, couldn’t care less for that woman. She was just a useful tool to make him comfortable, feel validated and save his life but through the weeks, as he grew even weaker, he got real tired of waiting to be rescued by so many incompetents.

When he gotten given a type of medicine that worked, that odd concoction from a rather viable doctor you had bought in for Muzan, and when it shaped him into the first ever demon. He could finally walk for the first time in his life

And he walked out of that room… in perfect health, with razor sharp fangs, with a blood-thirst for human flesh, with his muscles clenching and strong. However, as he explored. He ended up finding something else as tragic as what he caused to his rescuer. His assigned wife mauled to death by wild Ussuri Brown bears in the forest, all whilst clearly trying to find absolutely any medicinal herbs that could possibly do anything to save Muzan

Muzan never really appreciated nor cared for Dokusha, he didn’t see her as much of a person and whilst he looked at the mangled body of that woman… he felt… almost nothing. It wasn’t disgust but it also wasn’t anger, it was just… emptiness and after that day. He suspected he would never see a human woman named Dokusha ever again, foolishly unaware of the fact he truly did love Dokusha and truly did feel a deep pit of misery-fuelled fury at her death. She did so much for him and he did nothing for her

Even after learning the fatal accident that caused her death was entirely centred around trying to recover Muzan from his birth sickness

Currently as the high and mighty Demon King, the first ever Demon in existence. Kibutsuji Muzan, has been confronted by the newest Hashira of the Demon Slayer Corps in Asakusa, the Tashio Era when walking back to his ‘family’, and she has the eyes and the voice of his real wife. 10,000 years after her death, she’s back in a entirely new form and just knowing his dead wife has been reincarnated as his moral enemy is making Muzan’s undead heart throb in pain and outrage. Why does he feel this way looking into this Hashira’s eyes?

10,000 years after her death and now, Muzan has finally realised he has missed his wife so bad that he has grown desperate to see her again. He never noticed it, he always thought about locating the Blue Spider Lily and spreading over his ‘gift’ of demonicism around to every human he can find to gain the power he desires, to concur the Sun. Now, he notices how aggressive he is over the idea of love and how he is so repulsed by the six other wives he has pretended to marry throughout his life

Muzan stayed silent, blood red slit-pupiled eyes glaring at his reborn Hashira wife, taking in her features to every corner and constantly seeing glimpses and flashes of her original self… she’s so beautiful and he didn’t even notice how beautiful Dokusha actually was. How she didn’t deserve to die for his sake, if he could, he’d have ordered Dokusha to stay with him when she left upon calling that doctor in, as to save her life so then, he could have turned her into an demon too

Made her his Queen of Demons but no… he failed and now, he is beyond bittersweet. Pining, angry at his own blindness, upset he let the only woman who actually genuinely cared about him go… if he could reverse time, he would

Muzan, now, cannot bring himself to be the cause of his wife’s death once more… he can’t. He’ll just have to figure out another way to get her back, all without hurting her so before Dokusha could even think to begin attacking the Demon King with all the strength she has within that branded Nichirin Katana. Muzan fades away into the pitch black night, his glowing red eyes providing the only semblance of light for him when he retreats from that Hashira and those magnificent eyes, disappearing several streets down from her in a way she can’t track him down

He loves her

He knows he loves his wife and he can’t believe he had to wait for 10,000 years to recognise the mere fact that he did love Dokusha. Even if he didn’t know her enough to even call her a friend, her optimistic compassionate nature and the right to admire that personality was drowned out by Muzan’s own bitterness and desire to remain alive. He messed up royally with the first Dokusha, he won’t mess up with the second Dokusha

And he will make her his queen… even if it includes spending hours following the Ice Hashira around. He’ll do it and he already has a plan devised in his mind. He won’t hesitate to find some method to transform into a powerful immortal being like himself

All because he wants you back so bad

[storm-angel989]

How would Valentine and the other vees react to his daughter attempting to take her own life? Sorry if its too dark u don't have to answer the request.

It’s never too dark of a request. I hope by writing this fic someone, somewhere who might be struggling sees that their life has irreplaceable value.  I’ve been in that headspace, held that belief that the world would be better off without me. It’s a dark space, but I can promise you it gets better- I can’t say it enough. 

It gets better.

For anyone who is going through this- I’ve been there. I promise you, it gets better. <3 My DM’s are open for anyone who ever needs to chat. 

Even if it feels like no one else in the world cares, I PROMISE I do. 

<3 Mandy

Valentino treated overdoses like it was his job. 

In a way, it was. You don’t gain the titles he had without learning a thing or two along the way. When you deal with drugs, afterall, you deal with the unfortunate side effects that came along with them. It was simply good business to have the basic medical skills, enough to keep the user alive long enough to get them to someone who can bring them back the rest of the way. 

After all, dead addicts don’t pay. 

Another late night. There seemed to be quite a few of them lately, not that Valentino minded. Surrounded by his models, beautiful demons who brought out every aspect of the word lust. The music in the club hit perfectly, and his salesdemons were making bank tonight. At that moment, it felt like nothing in the world could go wrong. 

The shrill shriek of his phone interrupted his blissful buzz. Glancing at the caller ID he did a double take.

“Vox? I’m at work. This better be an emergency.” He answered sharply. “You know I don’t like to be…” 

“Valentino, you need to come home. Now.” Vox’s sharp voice interrupted him. “It’s Reader. Something’s wrong.”

Valentino was on his feet and out the door without a second thought. Shoving demons aside, he jumped in the limo. The ride home took less than two minutes, but it felt like an eternity. 

He shoved open the door to her bedroom, and the sight that greeted him felt like he had been punched in the gut. His daughter laid on her side, a blanket draped over her shaking body. 

“What happened? Is she sick?” Valentino demanded as he knelt down next to her. “Why didn’t you bring her downstairs?”

“Val, I just found her. She’s awake, she’s breathing, she has a pulse, she’s just..silent,” Vox replied. “And look…” 

Vox held up her arm and Valentino visibly winced at the sight. Cuts covered her wrist, up as far as he could see. From just below the vein, bright red blood dripped. Silently, Velvette handed him an empty bottle. He looked down at his daughter and gritted his teeth. 

“Bebita, what did you do?” He muttered as he glanced at the label. “You found this empty, Vel?”

“Yeah.”

Valentino cursed. No wonder she was still awake, but she wouldn’t be for long. “Vox, page downstairs and tell them to have the on-call doctor and have him meet us there. Both of you, with me, now.”

He carefully lifted up his daughter and, without waiting for the elevator, hurried her down the stairs, Vox and Velvette behind him. He looked down at her as dark blue foam began to drip from the corners of her mouth. In his arms, she curled and heaved into him. Valentino glanced down as warm blue liquid stained his jacket. 

Fuck. 

“Get up,” Valentino barked at the on duty nurse. He rattled off a list of things he would need as he laid his daughter on her side. From the cupboards, he tossed supplies on the counter. 

“Put an ng tube in,” he growled to the nurse as he handed her a bottle of dark black liquid. “Get this entire bottle down her throat and then take it out. Vox, where the fuck is the doctor?” 

Without waiting for an answer, Valentino stepped back and continued to yank open the cupboards, frantically searching until he found the right combination to counteract the pills she took. Without another thought, he slid the needle into her vein with a practiced hand. 

“Come on, mi amore, don’t you dare,” he growled as his daughter closed her eyes. “Don’t you fucking dare.” He pressed his hand against her chest, desperate to feel the beating of her heart. 

A faint thud beneath his palm. A whimper of pain.

The doctor walked in seconds later and with orders from Valentino, whisked her away to the back. Fury raced over Valentino’s expression and he turned to Vox and Velvette.

“What the fuck happened to my daughter?”

Velvette looked up from her phone and quietly handed it to Valentino. “ I don’t know how else to say it, but…Val, she made a post and…well, it looks like she tried to commit suicide.”

Valentino felt himself pale as he stared down at the screen. “No, she wouldn’t. My little girl? Why would…”

“I don’t know, Val,” Vox said sharply. “But I do know we fucking missed a hell of a lot of signs based on the amount of damage she did to her body already.” 

Valentino sank onto one of the empty beds and stared across the room. His little girl was in so much fucking pain she felt the world better off without her in it? His little girl hurt so badly, she needed to hurt herself? He buried his face in his hands. Had he gotten to her in time? Would she even survive this attempt? Why the fuck hadn’t he seen the signs? 

He felt a hand on his shoulder and weight shift on either side of him. He tried to hold back the tears of sadness, of guilt. The tears that came with the adrenaline rush he didn’t normally feel. 

“Val, we’ll get her through this,” Vox said softly. “I think we found her in time.”

Valentino tried to swallow back his sadness, but his voice still shook as he spoke. 

“What..what cued you in? What made you check on her?”

“Her blood pressure tanked, and I got the alert on my phone. As soon as I saw her, I called you. Couldn’t have been more than…”

“It takes seven minutes for her vital signs to be affected,” Valentino said bitterly. “Blue foam on the mouth and vomiting occur at fifteen. Her heart stops at twenty five. She’s lucky you found her when you did. Lucky I had the drugs I needed on hand, lucky that I knew what to fucking do otherwise…just a few more minutes…she still might not…”

“No, she will. And she will get through this. We will get her the help she needs, Val. Whatever she needs.” Velvette said sharply.

“You wouldn’t walk on a broken leg, depression, anxiety, mental illnesses, they’re no different. They need to be treated, just like any other disease,” Vox added. “We know this, Val. We’ll get her the treatment she needs to fight this.” 

“Mr. Valentino?” the doctor's voice broke through their conversation. 

Valentino stood up. Vox and Velvette joined him.

“She’s in recovery. We pumped her stomach and are running a few tests, but thanks to your quick actions,  it looks like she’ll be just fine. I don’t think she’ll suffer any long term effects,” the doctor told them. “She’s awake. You can go in and see her. I would like to suggest an adolescent psychiatrist…”

“Yes, absolutely. Get her over here as soon as possible. Whatever my daughter needs,” Valentino said quickly as he made his way down the hall. 

The sight of his daughter laying in her hospital bed made him stop in his tracks. He swallowed back the fear and sadness that crept up his throat. She looked too small to be lying there, too frail to be anywhere but safe in her own bed. Her arms wrapped up tightly in white bandages, the monitors that showed her heart rate on a screen. In that moment, he wanted nothing more than to lift her up and sprint her back to the safety of their home, keep her in the safety of his arms. 

But he knew, somewhere deep inside, that that wasn’t what was best for her. 

“Daddy? Are you mad at me?” 

Her soft voice broke through the quietness of the hospital room. 

“No, babygirl, no,” he replied quickly as he made his way across the room. He sat down next to her and smoothed back her hair. “I’m just…I’m glad you’re okay.”

She stared at him with exhausted eyes. “I ruined your good jacket,” she said after a few moments of silence. “I’m sorry…I’ll…”

“Fuck the jacket,” he replied quickly as he pulled off the vomit stained cloak. He tossed it into the corner of the room. “Bebita, I can replace that. There is only one of you, and you my love…oh honey…why didn’t you come tell me what was going on?”

She shrugged and looked down. He took a deep breath and in one swift movement, laid down next to her and pulled her body against his. 

“We can figure that out later,” he said quietly as he held her. “Not now. Right now, Daddy is here.” 

“Are you…are you going to send me away?” she whispered. 

Valentino swallowed. “Send you away? No. Never. You’re my little girl.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “If you need the extra support, an inpatient stay, we’ll give it to you. But I would never, ever send you awake. We’ll do whatever it is we need to do to get you better. Life doesn’t need to be this hard, mi amore. It gets better. I promise.” 

“I’m not crazy,” she sniffled. “Daddy, please..” “No one said you were,” he said soothingly. “My ninita.” He pressed his lips to her forehead. “I promise you, it gets better. And Daddy and Uncle Vox and Auntie Vel? We love you more than all the rings of hell. We’ll be by your side to support you- no matter what.” He held her ever so slightly tighter, “I love you, reader. We will get through this. I promise.”

[nouvxllev]

the girl across your street || p3

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Fem!Reader

Summary: You were only someone she met in her neighborhood, and she became someone unreachable. You were someone she only knew for half a year, and yet, the countless smiles she’d give you when you were around, the moments she looked you in the eyes where you thought you finally meant something to her, the times she’d say you were someone special to her—those became nothing but everything. You start to ponder on who could ever truly stay with you? Maybe it’s inevitable you’d go along with your life without someone special to you, someone who cherishes you like their dying wish.

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: angst, yipee!

part 4 || masterlist

You've found yourself spending a lot more time with Jenna than expected—so much so that you could almost consider yourselves roommates, having explored and learned the backstory of every picture in her living room. You knew quite a bit about Jenna, maybe not everything, but you knew her down to her music taste. Which is, maybe not a lot to some, but it was deep for you. Learning about each other's music tastes felt like exchanging wedding vows.

The two of you frequently dined at fancy restaurants or strolled through nearby supermarkets around the corner from your neighborhood. Making you wonder on where the hell is Jenna getting reservations from at the most luxurious restaurants out of town. These outings became the go-to whether you both were feeling ecstatic or just wanted to unwind after a bad day. And your meetings with eachother started occurring later in the day rather than in the early mornings.

You were slowly falling head over heals, over and over again until you went mad with her. It had reached a point where not hearing Jenna's voice or feeling her presence beside you felt wrong.

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"There's my favorite actress!" You ran towards her, a broad smile on your face that reached up to your ears. In your hands, you held a DSLR camera, not too large but not too small either.

Jenna, seated in her usual spot on the bench in front of her house, responded, "Not an actress," blocking her face with the camera you had pointed at her.

"—Yet," you grinned, "Don't you want to be in my special first video vlog?" Turning around, you gave the camera a chance to capture the changing scenery of the year, with leaves transforming into warm shades of orange and red.

You had big dreams of becoming a director, a career choice you had clung to since childhood. Piles of files filled with DVDs you had created when you were young. It didn't matter if you didn't have a deep story to tell, your videos were filled to the brim with stupid and idiotic stuff you used to do as kids and overall you were happy.

"Where'd you get that from?" Jenna asked, standing up to examine your camera's display. "Ooh… The quality's top-notch," she nodded approvingly.

"It was a very late Christmas gift from my friend I go to film school with. She saw me literally struggling with my phone, so she finally got me a camera for professionals only." You emphasized the word "professionals," feeling proud to have your very own camera instead of one borrowed from someone else.

She chuckled at your comment, "I've always wanted to film something on a camera," she whispered, her voice carrying a hint of nostalgia.

You gently set the camera down, your heart trying to calm down due to how close she was to you.

"I… I have this project for my film class," you began, turning to face her. "We have to vlog something in our lives that we could watch a few years later in time. It's supposed to be something bittersweet, my prof would say." You laughed, hoping to gain Jenna's approval.

You noticed her eyes twinkling, her eyebrows raising in excitement, and her lips forming a big smile that revealed her dimples. Fuck, you were so in love, it was maddening.

"Then let this be the short film of a lifetime."

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The 'short film of a lifetime' became a series of short films of a life time. Capturing your daily talks and strolls with Jenna, hoping that one day, the two of you could meet up again and watch these videos, laughing to your hearts' content. It was a sweet memory you'd hopefully make, really.

The alarm failed to wake you up because you didn't even sleep. It was Jenna's 17th birthday, and being even a millisecond late was not an option. You hadn't been able to celebrate her 16th birthday since she had just moved to town weeks after that, you knew after months of talking to her. And now, you were determined to give her the best party yet.

You stepped outside in the outfit Jenna had picked for you during one of your shopping trips—a comfortable ensemble that solidified your opinion of Jenna's excellent fashion taste.

You had your gift ready for Jenna, all those months of saving up money and even starving yourself finally paid off as you bought headphones that she always wanted and was always ranting to you about how expensive it is, a pair of brand-new Sony Headphones to replace her old ones.

You turned on your DSLR camera, ready to record and all, until you looked up and see people loading boxes into a truck.

Your heart raced as you ran towards the truck, hoping against hope. 'Fuck, fuck fuck... Please, not today,' you repeated to yourself, breath ragged as you tried to calm down.

Spotting Jenna's sister Aliyah, you called out to her, "Aliyah! Aliyah, wait!"

Aliyah turned, a smile on her face. "Y/n! Hey…"

You exhaled, "Where's—Where's Jenna? Is she going back to your house for her birthday?" You set your camera down, your voice shaky as you released the gift bag you held.

"Didn't she tell you? She's going across the country; she just got cast for a character in a film!"

You dropped your camera, confusion and shock hitting you like a truck.

"What?"

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"There's my favorite actress!"

"Not an actress...

"—Yet."

The video played on and on, a retro sound mixed with sratches from the old camera you once cherished. You lay quietly down on your bed, your eyes starting to form eyebags, and the air starting to sound like a certain song you'd play when you're at your darkest times.

It's been half a decade since your last interaction with Jenna. Countless of sleepless nights, meals skipped, and relationships with others destroyed all because she moved across the country to pursue her acting career. Not once did she think to send you even a single letter, expressing how much she missed you or offering a simple greeting. But who were you to expect so much from her?

You get that she was busy, and you get that she has other matters to attend to. You knew for a fact the harsh reality of the entertainment industry demanded constant attention, and slipping up even once could mean being left behind. But a dark void in your soul could only want to ask of her a simple hi. You’ve watched Jenna through her films, her interviews, her Instagram stories, witnessing how she became a star. You were happy for her, there was no denying it, you were so happy for her she got to achieve the dream she was dying to succeed, but you couldn’t help but wish to celebrate it beside her, even for just one moment, rather from a distance like this.

You were only someone she met in her neighborhood, and she became someone unreachable. You were someone she only knew for two years, and yet, the countless smiles she’d give you when you were around, the moments she looked you in the eyes where you thought you finally meant something to her, the times she’d say you were someone special to her—those became nothing but everything. You start to ponder on who could ever truly stay with you. Maybe it’s inevitable you’d go along with your life without someone who’s special to you, someone who cherishes you like their dying wish.

When she left, your soul left with her. Now you were never the same. You never looked at things the same, walking down that street being something you’d regret, watching a film you’d think she would love could only make you breakdown into tears—missing her touch like you miss the warmth of the sun on a cold day. The world, once vibrant when Jenna entered your life, now appeared through somber lens, your simplest pleasures turned into tortures you would never wish on an empire.

You couldn’t be mad at her, no, you didn’t have the right to. How could you be so instantly attached to one person that they became your entire world? You spent your whole life creating memories you cherished with everyone around you. You had worlds to see, you had symphonies to hear from the beat of your headphones, you had comforting scents to smell whenever you walk into a familiar place, you had delicacies your mom once had made you when she was still in your life to taste, you had humans to touch—people that were close to your heart. Everything you had in the palm of your hands, taken away by a single glance from Jenna. It’s like your life suddenly meant nothing without her.

While you’re all smiles and laughs, trying to hide the fact you’re missing that one person who made you who you are now, thoughts of her still linger at night. You would find yourself after a grueling day, scrolling through the accounts Jenna had created, even reaching out to her closest friends or family members for any updates on her well-being. You still hope one day you’ll take that street yet again, reminiscing about the days when you were delighted to wake up on a cool winter morning and eagerly anticipate seeing someone, and that someone eagerly awaiting for you as well.

You sighed as you took a step on the street you were always walking on. It was already noon, and the feeling of not walking this road without the morning sun will always be so weird to you. The wind of the road reaches out to you like something of a horror film, your headphones you initially bought for Jennas birthday being the only escape to the reality you've sentenced yourself to, as if she was still there with you. If only you had known for what was about to strike you, maybe you would've confessed.

Like Jenna, you too achieved your dream job as a movie director. While you didn't work on big films, you were just happy you got to help bring stories to life, stories that Jenna often liked to read, hoping one day she'd maybe take interest in the films you directed.

As you walked, you find your eyes flickering to the bench Jenna used to sit down, a part of you wishing she would magically reappear and surprise you as if nothing had happened and it was all just a dream.

Then, someone was there—a brunette with the same hairstyle, engrossed in a book, much like the ones Jenna always loved.

"Jenna?" You called out, eyes widening.

The brunette started to stand up, book still in hand that was obscuring her face.

"Jen—! Fuck— Sorry…" You bumped into numerous people who seemed to have materialized on the street that wasn't crowded a moment ago.

“Jenna! Jenna, why didn’t you—" You extended your hand, wanting to touch her shoulder, feeling on the verge of breaking down into tears, desperate for an explanation, screaming whys and hows.

A car suddenly passed by you, the wind knocking you out of your senses.

Shit, it wasn't Jenna. It was never Jenna.

You were going insane. Why were you still grieving for something so alive, but so gone?

You were on your way to the location where your co-director, Emma Myers, had instructed the rest of the actors to shoot for your new film, Finest Kind. It was the first movie ever where you felt a bit uncertain, but you took it anyway. Emma was a friend you had made during your lowest days in film school, always there for your rants and providing a comforting presence that made you feel better about yourself.

Due to a morning that almost got you killed, you arrived 20 minutes late, earning applause from everyone when you finally reached the spot, Emma in the background shouting a rowdy 'Finally!' as the rest burst into laughter. It brought a genuine smile to your face, finally.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You didn't know of the casting, since that was you, your technique. You enjoyed a bit of surprise in your approach to movie directing, a quirk Emma took note of, and so, everyone introduced themselves to you and the rest of the crew, forming bonds for the months ahead.

You sat in your chair with your last name written on the back, reviewing a script that the writers had printed out, it was fairly nice. You were already envisioning how you wanted it to go, and now you were standing up to take the affirmative with Emma, until, a certain voice caught your attention.

"Excuse me, could I…" A voice murmured behind you—a familiar voice you knew and loved from the very beginning. However, for some reason, your heart dropped, and you wished more than anything to erase yourself.

"Jenna?"

"Y/n."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: yikes!!

[strawb3rrystar]

totally didnt trip and run here…why would that happen.

anywho, stolas x stellas cousin!gn! reader :3 idrc if its platonic or romantic this man needs a friend/someone to care ab him and actually show it (staring at blitzø)

if platonic, then it could be that they have a marriage of convenience and stolas is off put but them but they reassure both him and octaviva that they arent like their cousins lol and from there they befriend stolas and be his rock for whenever blitzø shuts down and pushes stolas away

if romantic then it could just be a silly slow burn with stilas veru confused bc he loves blitzø but also is beginning to like his new spouse?! (then they could talk and the cousin could be like “dude we dont gotta be exclusive. esp since u still like the imp dude. if u want, take thing slow, see where u end up and how you feel.”)

and when reader shows affection stolas is taken aback bc all the people in his life aren’t really forward with their own affections?

soz if this is lengthy 😭😭 i love this sad bird sm and just want him to have someone to rely on that isnt his kid or his BF

It wasn't just a marriage of convenience.

Pairing: Stolas x GN! Stella's cousin! Reader

Warnings: Stella slander (im sorry), very slight blitz slander (again, sorry)

Word count: 816

✰Masterlist

Stolas wasn't too keen on remarrying, especially when he found out it would be his ex-wife's cousin. He expected to be just like the rest of your snobby family.

The first time he met you, your beak upturned in a smile that could've been fake. But there was no faking the look in your eyes. The way you were hanging off every word as he talked. That was the most genuine thing about your family. Your eyes always gave you away. Stolas learned that quickly with Stella. Even when she was trying to be nice, her eyes always revealed her true feelings.

After the wedding, Stolas realized the heels of your fancy shoes didn't echo in the hallways like Stella's did. Her footsteps always sent chills down his spine because they were always filled with fury. No matter where you were in the palace, you could always hear her coming.

The first time you threw a ball, it wasn't for a selfish reason, it was for your friend's birthday. Unlike Stella's amazing idea of a 'not divorced' party. She would glide across the ballroom with fake poise, her head turned up at everyone who was below her. But you move so effortlessly and with such elegance that you could put your cousin to shame.

It felt odd to be living with you at first. To be sleeping in the same bed. But you mostly kept to yourself during the day. Stolas finally could get some peace and quiet now that Stella's constant torment was gone. During dinner, when you were all sat at the table, you would have an actual conversation with him. Octavia seemed to like you as well, the two of you would talk about things that she liked. And you would hangout in the library at night.

You weren't trying to be a new parent for Via. Or a new spouse for Stolas. You were just simply existing in the same space. Not trying to disrupt the environment before you. Maybe that's why he was just so drawn to you. You cared about his problems, listened to him, but didn't pry. Even when your cousin was brought up, you were never angry. You were just an observer.

But now Stolas was in a dilemma. He likes Blitz, but now he also likes.. you? It sent his head into spirals, rethinking the last year of his life. It was so bad he couldn't concentrate on the words in his book. Because just a few feet away his spouse sat at their vanity, putting some eye drops in their eyes. Stolas takes a deep breath, going over every outcome in his head. Before he knew what he was doing, the words were coming out of his mouth. "Uh, hey?"

This gains your attention, and you turn to him. But not just your head, you did a full body turn towards him. Satan you were so beautiful. Stolas would compare your beauty to that of the stars. Your head tilts every so slightly, your eyes fill with affection. "Yes?"

"I'm having a bit of a problem.." Stolas admits, setting his book on the nightstand. By the time he looked back at you, you were already sitting on the bed with him. "What kind of problem?"

"I think I'm starting to love you..." He mumbles scratching the back of his neck and then smoothing down his feathers. "Why is that a problem?"

You already knew about his relationship with Blitz as he would often express his issues to you. It was a very simple question, but it made Stolas even more confused. "Because I can't like two people at once."

He shakes his head, his hands in his lap. You raise an eyebrow, then chuckle to yourself. "Stolas, we don't have to be exclusive. Especially since I know how special that Imp is to you. We can take things slow, see if we like it. If not, we can go back to how things are, I won't be upset."

His eyes widen at your words. His body felt like it was on fire. But not the 'I'm horny' kind of fire. More like 'I love you so much I think I'm going to explode' kind. "Could I.. kiss you then?"

You smile, the type of smile that made his heart melt for you. You inch over to him, taking his wing in yours. "I would love nothing more than that."

It was one of the most love filled, passionate kisses that Stolas had ever experienced. His claws grabbing at you like you'd slip away if he didn't. Your claws touch his face delicately, as if he were a glass figure that would shatter if you pressed too hard. When the two of you pull away, Stolas buries his face into your neck. And the two of you cuddle into each other for the rest of the night.

Star's notes -> You know I love it when I get requests from you Adonis!!! <3

(Thank you, @sweetadonisbutbetter for requesting!) (Requests are open!)

Taglist -> @samohxt2-0 @sunshines-bright @astrolovedy @saints-wrapped-in-plastic @sweetadonisbutbetter

@little-miss-chaoss @sunr1s3-strab3rr1 | Join the taglist

[ratcash-wasgud]

A gentle breeze could be our end ༊*·˚

Okay, so I had a vision about this very specific idea for a fic, which is...what if you took the role of Kinuyo? Hear me out, plsplspls.

(i altered a lot of canon things, sorry sorry. (i'm also sorry if anyone has done this before))

WC: 4K

TW: Abuse, Sexual harassement, Pedophelia and Prostitution. Basically kinda fucked up, sorry.

You always felt like a burden to the world. Even in the womb, you hurt your mother. She died the moment you left her body, maybe even halfway, taking a great thing from the world, and giving it something useless with your own birth.

You didn't cry out when you saw the light, your little mouth opened, but no sound came out. The world was quiet.

As you grew up, you never managed get grow into anything you wanted to, and your father hated you for it. You never heard him say a word, but you knew he said hateful things. You tried to learn to read in secret, but only managed to barely get through one book after years. Learning was hard. Living was hard too.

You were 10 when he first hit you. It happened because you accidently dropped a cup, shattering it on the ground. You felt his footsteps approaching behind you, then when you felt his presence right behind you, he striked. He noticed how you survived, and you only gained a bruise from it.Plus, you couldn't yell for help, nor tell anyone. This gave him confidence. He started hitting you for every little mistake, sometimes even just for being born. You could see him feeling bad about it sometimes, but he still did it again. It just made you believe it even more that this is all your own fault. For being born wrong.

And you were 15 when he started missing your mother too much. He touched you, he made you touch him, and he forced you to open up and show him everything he wanted. You hated it. You hated your own body for exsisting, and giving him this option of using you. For having a body that could please men. Please...him.

One day though, he got caught. A neighbour, bringing over some leftovers caught him, standing bare before you, your tears dripping to the floor, as he hold your nose shut, so that you'd eventually open your mouth for him. But he got caught. It was over.

He had to get rid of you, so he sold you. But even after he left your life, he still wanted you to have a rotting future. He picked the brothel where he knew the man were disgusting. The most deprived kind. He sold you to Madame Kaji's brothel. By that point, your body was weak, and even walking was something you hated doing. You just wanted to lay down, and wait for your body to disappear.

But she was something warm. Something beautiful. Madame Kaji took you in, and smiled at you. She taught you everything you yearned for to know. She taught you to properly read and even write. She taught you manners and how to hide your fear. How to survive, even if you're weak. And she never hurt you in the process. She taught you sign langauge, and in the process, you learned to even read lips a little. She taught you a sign, which, in your head, you named "Love". It consisted of her gently kissing her fingers, then putting her hands around herself. Like a hug and a kiss in one. Love.

As you got better in writing, you wrote down everything that happened to you so far to her. Sometimes you teared up while writing, but she was always there, gently soothing you, and caressing your hair. She promised you that no man would ever touch you again, and she'll give you hapiness. You slept in her room, never leaving her side when it wasn't really necessary. She kept you safe. You were happy. She became your world. You wanted to be by her side, forever.

Living in a brothel made you more concious about people's sexual life, and every time you saw a man's face contort in pleasure, a shiver ran down your spine, prickling at your intestines, feeling your insides recoil in fear and disgust. You wanted to run away, and just jump back into Madame Kaji's embrace, but you had to be strong, like she wanted you to be. You never had to sleep with a man, but sometimes you went out to serve drinks, having to see the girls, who you admired greatly and saw as big sisters, having to engage in acts that would've have made you have a breakdown. Still, you stayed useless.

You wanted to be useful, you really did, but she never let you do much. You were too precious, she claimed. You really did love Madame Kaji, but you felt like a burden. No...you knew you were a burden.

One day, you managed to somehow convince her to let you serve drinks on a busy day. You nuzzled your face into her palm, gently kissing it before you picked up a tray and hurried into the customer area. You saw a man, middle aged, balding, the usual kind of man she sees there, sitting alone at a table. You sat down at the table, giving him a small, weak smile, and poured him sake. You put your finger on your lips, signaling that he shouldn't expect words from you.

The man smiled, sipping the sake. He stared at you, and kept...he kept staring. It started to feel really uncomfortable. His eyes started to burn through your clothes, and you suddenly felt his hand on your knee...slowly creeping up. You felt like throwing up.

Suddenly, Madame Kaji appeared next to you, her hand slipping his off you.

"Boss Hamata," Madame Kaji greets the man, as you sit there, not hearing a word. She signals you to leave, so you do. "She's not up for business." She says to Hamata, wearing a polite smile.

"Oh, is she now?" The man says with a cruel smile. "She's be a great addition to my home." He says, mostly to himself, as he stands up.

"You don't want another girl? Your usual is free at the moment." Kaji says after him.

"No," The man says again. "I lost my apetite." He then casually leaves.

The next day was your doom. The same man you remembered from last night returned with an army, and tore you out of Madame Kaji's hands.

Hamata was the devil himself. He took you because you were weak and couldn't fight back. He took you as his bride the same day, and left you covered in bruises the same night. He squeezed your throat, kneeled on your wrists, hit your skin, and forced his way in. He loved it, but you felt yourself slowly die inside day by day.

The worst thing? He was the same as your father. He had the same disgusting glint in his eyes, he licked his lips the same way, and he...he...tasted the same too. You tried jumping off the balcony, he punished you after. You tried stabbing yourself, he punished you after. You tried to poison yourself, he punished you after. You yearned for death by that point.

You spent most of your free time, when you could move, on the balcony, watching the brothel's door...hoping to catch a glimpse of Madame Kaji. Even seeing her form would give you comfrort...but you never did. You missed her more than anything. More than your own freedom.

One night, you were trying to sleep with the pain that he left behind that day, sorrounded by guards, to make sure you're not trying to kill yourself again, until...the guards fell, one by one...and a samurai walked out of the darkness.

Mizu looked at you, the weak, deaf and mute girl she was set out to kill that night. She was determined. She needed those informations that Madame Kaji offered as payment. She had killed a lot of inocent things before, what's one more?

But when she saw your face...covered in bruises, shaking and tearing up, she felt something change inside her. You crawled away from her, backing up until your back hit the wall. She stepped closer to you, not liking the fear in your eyes. She couldn't help but see your beauty, even if it shouldn't matter right now. She extended a hand to you, but you didn't take it.

Obviously. You were afraid of her too. In your eyes, she was a man. A threat.

So, she did the sign Madame Kaji told her to. "Love." She saw your eyes soften, and your features almost brighten up. She offered her hand again, and this time, you took it. She heard more guards coming, so as you took her hand, she started running and pulled you with her. She hid with you, and held you close, gently soothing your hair. She felt you shaking in her arms, and she...she felt something snap inside her. She put her hands around your head, to quickly snap your neck...but she couldn't. Her hands wouldn't move. So, she stood up, leaving you in the hiding place, and started casually walking out.

She knows if the fact that she was here gets out, Hamata sends out his Thousand Claws to burn down Madame Kaji's brothel...so she needed to act now. She decided to face the army now.

As she walked out, and the Claws started charging at her after exiting the first door, she fought back with all her might. She slowly got tired. Her body was about to give out after slashing down hundreds of men, but something flashed in her mind.

She saw Mikio's face. Their duel. The face he made when he betrayed her. And she couldn't help but see your face too. She knows the world betrayed you too. She imagined you getting betrayed in the same way she did, and imagined you crying along with her. She saw you get killed by the men she is currently slaying down.

She couldn't give up. She finished the whole army, and went back to get you, wounded and exhausted. When you saw her, covered in blood, your eyes widened in fear.

You got scared of her again. She sighed "Love" again, but this time, you shook your head, and curled up in your hiding place. Mizu sighed, and kneeled by you.

She then started to write on the floor, using the blood on her. "I'll protect you." She said it as she wrote it, trying to convince you to communicate too.

You read the text, and looked at her, your eyes still so scared and vulnerable, it made Mizu's heart squeeze. She didn't know you, she reminded herself. Still...she meant when she said she's protect you.

Your hand shook as she reached out, dipping your finger in a small pool of blood that dripped down from her clothes. "Protect the Madam." You wrote.

Mizu sighed. Why did you care about Kaji right now? You're obviously scared for your own life too, so why not care about saving yourself?

"She'll be safe." She writes back. "I killed the ones who could hurt her." She finishes. It's true, she did kill everyone...but left Hamata to be slayed by Kaji herself.

Then you looked up at her again, and stood up. You followed her outside, leaving that blood ridden house.

When she brought you back to Madam Kaji, you jumped into her arms.

"They won't come looking for her." Mizu says, switching back to deadpan, as she nudged her head towards the wounded Hamata at the exit of his house.

Madama Kaji nodded while gently while gently caressing your hair.

"Still...she can't stay here. In a place like this...they will want to take her again." She sighed. Mizu's eyes widened. "I couldn't protect her once...I'd rather perish than see her be taken again."

"You want me to take her with me? She'll die by my side." Mizu responds, shaking her head.

"You're the reason she's alive. You didn't give her the freedom of death, you gave her the freedom of life. You didn't do what I asked you to...so I ask you to keep her safe."

Mizu, biting the inside of her cheek, kept quiet for a couple moments, thinking about it.

"I'll find her a new home." She says, sighing. "I'll keep her safe until then." She says, now looking down at you.

Considering now that she was alone, since they took Akemi back to her home, and Ringo left her after she did nothing about it, still...she couldn't enjoy being alone. She now had you.

You cried when Madame Kaji told you that you had to leave. You kissed her hand repeatedly, like how you always did when you nuzzled into her palm, and clinged to her clothes. After you let go, Madame Kaji signed "Love", and with one simple tear, she bid goodbye.

Later that night, after walking the whole day, Mizu set up a small campfire in the woods for the night. You sat there, not even trying to communicate, just staring at the fire. Mizu felt confilcted. She didn't know you, she reminded herself again, but deep inside she already got herself attached. She lightly poked your shoulder, making sure not to make too much contact and to scare you.

You turned to face her, your big eyes shining at her, and your features shining in the light of the camfire. Still...you had circles under your eyes, bruises on your neck, your lips wounded from you...or someone else...biting on them too much.

"I saw you reading lips." Mizu says, making sure to articulate every word properly. "I didn't know you could do that."

You tilt your head at her, then purse your lips. You pick up a stick from the ground and start writing in the dirt. Your hands move softly, gently even, as if the stick was breathing in your hand. You focused your eyes on the thing your were writing, and your gaze followed your hand. Your hair fell into your face a little, framing your features.

"Madame helped." You write, then turn your face back to Mizu, to read her lips if she responds.

"...kind of her." She murmurs, making you unable to read it. She wanted to talk to you, but somehow...it was hard. Not for the fact that you were deaf or mute, but the fact that she somehow...felt nervous. As if she made the wrong move, you'd shatter where you stand. You seemed so delicate, and Mizu knew her blood stained fingers and harsh words would only cause you harm. She really didn't want herself to be the one to look after you. Plus, she knew you were deadly afraid of men, and you saw her as one. Suddenly, she felt this strong urge to reveal herself. To make you feel safe. Or maybe because of other, more selfish reasons...to make you feel more comfortable around her. To make you open up.

"Don't be afraid." She says, now articulating enough for you to read. "I'm no man." She says, putting a hand on her chest. Your eyes widened in surprise, and wrote "Boy?" in the dirt.

Mizu shook her head. "Woman." She says, correcting you. You looked at her, utterly confused. Mizu slowly lowered her haori, revealing her binded chest. "Woman." She repeated.

Your gaze softened. You finally understood. A small smile pulled at the ends of your lips and nodded. You moved your hand again, writing again. "Fooled me." You then look at her, your smile reaching your shining eyes. Mizu chuckles in response.

"A habit of mine, yes. I do it most people." She leans back on her hands, now feeling more relaxed. She looked at your face again, and...she felt mesmerized. She felt horrible when the thought that she understood why Hamata wanted you popped up in her head.

You then start writing again, and Mizu's gaze snaps back to your hands again. "Thank you." You then give her a weak smile. "I'm not like you. I am not strong. I will die easier." You stopped for a moment before continuing. "So thank you for not letting me die."

Mizu's eyes widen. If she thinks about it, it's true, but the fact that you're talking so openly about it bothers her. "You won't die easily. You're strong too. I mean...you're still alive. That has to mean something." She says, squinting her eyes at the fire.

Mizu sees your shoulders move a little, as if you're giggling, but no sound comes out. She does imagine what your giggle would be like though. She imagines it to be soft and gentle, since that's the only way she ever seen you do anything. "True. But I wish I wasn't born wrong." You write.

Mizu presses her lips together and looks at you with pity. She doesn't know why she feels pity, she herself was born wrong too. She's a halfblood, someone who has always been a dog. Something rather than someone. "Sometimes the world is not fair." She shrugs. "But you need to make the most of your situation. You're lucky in a lot of ways."

Your eyebrows lifted, and you tilted your head, as if saying "Like what?" Mizu noticed that you were able to communicate a lot with your eyes and the way you moved your head.

"Well, for starters...you're beautiful." She said, not managing to keep her gaze on you. That was a stupid thing to say, huh? Why would she even say that? She met you the other day, saving you from some sadistic bastard, and having to take you in afterwards...she's not being appropriate.

But when she turned her gaze back to you, she saw you with your eyes wide and your cheeks flush. Oh. Did she do that?

The days go by, and wherever she goes, Mizu's first thing to do, is ask around for a new home for you. She doesn't want to bring you along to this wretched journey of hers any more than needed. You already had to see her kill a group of people the other day, and it left you pale and scared. She remembers how you looked with a drop of blood splattered across your face, and how you wiped it away with a shaky hand. She never wants to see it again.

While traveling together, Mizu learned how precious you are. She knows your past, and she sees you flinch when a man passes by you, but still you want to do anything you can for her. Even if it's small things like running the errand of buying food, running after her hat that fell off her head then got kidnapped by the wind, and sitting by yourself at a river for hours, trying to scrub the blood out of her clothes, even if it makes you shiver. Your delicate hands started to have small callouses from living out in the open with her, but your bruises faded away. Good, she though. You don't deserve to have any, so she'll never have you gain another one again.

Hm. She was planning more and more ahead. Why? Wasn't she planning to find you a home that's not beside her? She knew you couldn't be happy by her side, it wasn't the life you deserved. You deserved to find an angel of a husband, who's strong enough to protect you, coddle you daily, and never let you do any work. Who'll kiss you whenever he sees any sign of gloominess on your features, and someone who'll make you believe you're not born wrong.

And she knows you'd be the sweetest wife too. You'd put your delicate hands on his aching muscles after a hard day, massaging away the pain, then gently kiss the tip of his nose. You'd snuggle into him after feeding him something delicous for dinner, and trace the words you want to say into her skin with your fingers. Mizu would hum in response, just gently playing with your hair, letting the peace take over as she'd put her hand under your chin, making you look at her face when she'd say something, so you could read her lips. She'd never tell you about the blood she had to shed that day, only the good things. Like when she saw a small bird, and it reminded her of you, or when she managed to buy a kind of sweet you liked on her way back. She'd feed you that candy by hand too. She'd watch your pouty lips open as she'd place the sweet treat in your warm and wet--!

When did this turn into being about her? Something like that could never happen. She's a woman with a quest, not some domestic husband. Still...she wants it to be like that. She'd treat you well if she had the chance...But she doesn't. She lacks everything for that. She can't abandon her quest.

So, one day she finds an inn. The inn keeper tells her about recently losing his daughter, who was his only staff. He even sheds a tear. Mizu tells him about the girl she's traveling with.

"She's deaf, she's mute...but she's a hard worker. She can read lips, and writes well." She tells the inn keeper with a serious face. "I'm sure she won't even ask for payment if you take care of her." She says, but inside, she doesn't want to do this. She wants you to stay by her side, but...that's a wretched path. You need this. You need a peaceful life.

The inn keeper seems to be deep in though for a couple of moments before he nods. It's settled. After two months of torture, being in her care, she finally found you annew home. It's good news, right? So why...why does she feel like slashing the inn keeper's throat just for agreeing? Why does she feel the need to burn the whole inn down and running with you, hand in hand? She hates this. This dumb, annoying aching in her chest when she thinks about not staying by your side.

Your eyebrows shoot up when she breaks the news to you, and she sees you freeze. She sees the gears basically turning in your head, then...you shake your head and take a step closer to her. You point to her, then to herself, finishig the sigh by putting her hands together.

Mizu's heart skips a beat. "No, look...I can't let you stay with me. This guy, the inn keeper...he seems like a nice guy. He just lost his daughter, and he's willing to take care of you."

You shake your head again, and sign "Love". Mizu sighs. She wants to say "I love you too." but that's not how it works.

"I have a quest to finish, and you'll surely die in the process. You know that. So just...be happy about this." She says, averting her gaze. Your eyes droop, and your shoulders deflate. You shake your head again and hug her, wrapping your arms around her torso.

She hated the fact that she had to leave you, with a man no less, but she hoped she's making the right decision. She really wanted you to be happy. And if she wanted you to be happy by her side, then she needed to find her own peace first. She had to save ehrself first before she could save you.

In reality though, she knew you saved her.

After the hug ends, she looks into your eyes. "If I survive, I'll come back to you." She says, gently petting your head. Your eyes brighten up and you nod.

That was farewell, because Mizu left withouth another word.

And she meant it...she'll come back. She just wishes you'd wait for her, even if it's the most selfish wish she ever made. She sheds every drop of blood, thankful you're not there to see it. She closed her eyes every night, hoping you're doing the same too under a warm blaket, filled with warm food. And she sat sail, making a silent promise about spending the first night by your side when she arrives back in Japan.

That will be her true peace.

༊*·˚

[wekiamo]

still love you

first request!! hope you guys enjoy it (ik the title is so cliche im sorryy 😭)

part 2 here

warnings: spoilers for Scream VI, swearing, angst, fluff, mentions of getting stabbed and murdered, and i think thats all!

no, this can’t be happening. ethan landry? your fucking boyfriend? no, this had to be some sort of joke.

at least, that’s what you thought. but you knew well it wasn’t true, and you were just trying to convince yourself none of this was real. well, it didn’t work. you were still there, standing in front of all these killers you’ve been running away from.

you were still trying to process everything that was happening, when quinn steps forward your direction with her knife in her hand, and your brain just stops working correctly. you could be killed right there and right now. you certainly didn’t want to die, you still had so much to live - you wanted to travel the world, learn new languages, meet new people and even have an own family. and you wanted to experience it all with ethan. the guy you just found out to be a psycho killer, who was just trying to kill you this entire time. all of your moments together were fake? you felt the need to cry even harder than you were already. ethan, the guy who you loved the most in this world and you thought loved you back, did not want you or your love

he wanted your blood. he wanted to see you dead.

“oh poor [name], you’re not even what we want. there’s no need to be so scared of us this soon.” quinn said as she turned to sam and tara “it’s you two bitches we want”

“why? why are you all doing this? did we ever do something to you-” tara was cut off by quinn’s voice “yes you little whores you KILLED OUR BROTHER” she said, yelling at the two sisters.

“we don’t know who you guys are talking about, seriously!” tara said with a desperate voice and look in her eyes, while sam looked like she was processing their words slowly.

“is… richie… your brother?” sam asked, between pauses.

“yes, and it was you, sam. you were the one to kill him you fucking slut” quinn said kind of quiet, but loud enough for everyone to hear.

“now, we all know both of you girls love [name] like she’s your sister too. wouldn’t it be such a despairing thing to watch her be stabbed and killed right in front of you?” bailey asked, making ethan smirk “i don’t think we should do it right in front of them, dad. they shouldn’t even get to see it, only listen to her screaming miserably while she’s dying” the tall boy said, gaining everyone’s looks at him.

“nice one, ethan. wanna do the honours?” bailey asked the boy, who was smirking once again.”

“you better not fucking TOUCH her, you asshole” sam yelled. “you don’t get to yell at us, bitch” quinn, that was next to her and tara, threatened sam with the knife in front of her throat

“come over here” bailey ordered, and you not obeying him. “no, no i’m not going to.” you said crying, trying not to fall on your knees from the mental weakness you were experiencing.

“NOW.” ethan yelled in a rough tone. you stepped forward slowly scared for your life as you could perfectly listen to tara’s whines. “stupid slow whore” quinn said behind you as she pushed you hardly, making you stand in front of bailey and ethan.

were these your last moments?

you finally managed to say something: “ethan, i- how could you do this to me?”

“yeah, and how could you be so dumb?“ ethan laughed as bailey and quinn did too, you looking at each of them, with fear and disbelief in your face.

“well now i guess it’s time to say goodbye to your little friends” the boy said, grabbing you roughly by your wrist and pushing you in front of him, taking both of your hands and putting them together on your back as he grabbed your shoulders, guiding you somewhere.

“tara, sam, please, i don’t wanna die.”

you were now somewhere darker. you couldn’t really see what was happening inside the place, but you knew something: these were probably your last moments.

he took his hands off your shoulders and stopped guiding you, as you stopped walking too. he was now standing right in front of you.

“i loved you deeply, ethan. do you know how much i trusted you? or how many times i argued with my friends for defending you and your unexistent fucking innocence? of how many times i cried just by feeling guilty of being suspicious of you? i loved you and trusted you with my heart, ethan.”

“listen [name], i need you to scream” the boy said gently, making your brows furrow in confusion.

“what?”

“scream like you’re getting stabbed or something.”

“wait, you’re not going to kill me..?”

“don’t ask too many questions. just do it, quick before they come and check what we’re doing.”

you smiled and hugged him tight. you knew this could be some sort of trap but you still felt relieved that there was a chance of you getting out of here, and see all of your friends alive and happy again.

“okay i’m ready. 1, 2, 3-”

[zeyris-daydreams]

I tried to get a tighnari ai to behave the way I wanted it to but it did not work. Instead I wrote a tighnari fic myself

// sexist tighnari, implied sexist Cyno, non-con, tighnari and reader without a vision, kidnapping, breeding

「—————————·♡·—————————」

Tighnari was nothing but kind and patient to you. Sure, you had to be dragged back to Sumeru by your feet given how idiotic you were, but it was your own fault.

It all started when you went to Sumeru after hearing your traveler friend say what kinds of things Sumeru has while they were in the process of traveling there. Back and forth, their life sure must've been interesting. Not only trying to find the missing sibling, but seeing so many nations and knowing so many people.

As much as it wasn't the life you wanted for yourself, that itself was inspiring enough to get out of the unchanging surroundings to visit Sumeru. It sure meant to be a one time visit, just seeing the mushrooms, trees. Exploring the culture, people, their way of being. You were fortunate to stay in Sumeru while the conflict with dendro archon was finally resolved, and the Lord of dendro freed herself from the oppressive hands of akademiya. To think they'd hide away their once beloved God just because she was no longer the size she used to be.

That itself was a story full of inspiration, and just like that you stayed in Sumeru longer, as far as allowing your friend to introduce you to the people they met. Paimon sure kept talking the whole way, but alas you were there. After meeting Cyno you met the forest ranger called Tighnari; it wasn't the first time you met a person with animal body parts, as much as his huge ears always shocked you. After exchanging pleasantries traveler explained what Tignnari does, and he agreed to let you learn from him about the forest. As much as you weren't a person to like the outside world, the beauty of sumeru had you captivated for a while. To the point you didn't even realise that something from the forest made you sick. Weakening you, you hardly had the energy to leave the village, it sure wasn't related to Tighnari.

Yeah, right.

You knowing other people was irrelevant, as you spent more and more time with Tighnari, completely oblivious to the fact that you had an effect on him. It was confusing the other, Collei had a vision. He could teach her, given that Celestia was kind enough to even accept her input. Collei was just a girl after all, but you? An ordinary person with no vision, expecting to get some knowledge? Tighnari didn't know whether to find it hilarious or astonishing, and yet he fed you with the thought that you were in fact learning valuable things.

Sure, the mushrooms he taught you about aren't really that common, so there's no need to learn about them, but he had to have a reason to tell you about the plants that definitely will not heal wounds? When you asked about essential information, he only said you had more to learn before you'd be able to gain that top knowledge.

It frustrated you to no end, after all you didn't plan to live there. Tighnari refusing to share essential knowledge was sickening, and yet you clung to the idea that maybe he will tell you something important.

From not caring, you became a person who's sole idea was to get Tighnari's approval. Your weird weakness didn't go away and only grew worse, and for some reason the only relief you could get was to not be exposed to Sumeru for the most part.

"Let's see if staying inside does you any better."

He said. And you didn't expect that to work, in fact you didn't expect him to say it again a week after.

Your skin felt less itchy, but as soon as it started to get better, the sensation of your clothes against your skin was the key to your irritation. As much as staying inside helped, now the clothes kept bothering you. And whenever you as much as stayed in something looser or shorter, Tighnari would look at you for a moment, before he'd continue doing what he did before.

It remained unclear wether that was the intended effect, and one could only assume it wasn't what the ranger intended. Still, that being a side effect made it all more convincing.

And yet to him you were nothing but trying to tempt him. Make him snap, which is what you'd get if you weren't careful enough. And after a few weeks he regarded to you with some sort of coldness, some sharpness to his speech.

And still, you remained as kind as ever, as much as sometimes it annoyed you. You were offered a drink or two by Tighnari at some point, and he drank some as well. After all he only taught you how to get rid of witherings by a long distance, if he ever needed your help. And you stupidly believed he finally began to treat you like a friend, only to end in his bed, crying out, spread open. All because you gave him the permission, and maybe it was your own fault for being too relaxed around the fennec.

After that Tighnari began acting weird around you, closer. More touchy. There he'd pull your hair from your face, other time he'd tickle your chin. You thought it was going better, your weakness finally fading ever so slightly.

One time when he was telling you about the completely irrelevant topic of sumeru roses, you mentioned briefly if his dendro could dry them up or preserve them so you could take them to your homeland. Show these beautiful flowers to people you knew. If he could help you take more.

That was met with an expression filled with blankness, before he jokingly said something along the lines of. "we will see"

He didn't take you seriously though, and after you mentioned it again, he seemed irritated as ever, long ears pushing themselves back on his head as Tighnari fought the troublesome feeling in his gut. But he agreed to let you see if his dendro can work to preserve later. And you, like an idiotic human you were, agreed.

Only a day later did you see that your weakness returned, and that it only came in the morning. Tighnari blamed it on allergies and pollens, that "these flowers aren't ones that you grew around. That's what makes you weak, possibly."

Confused, you never understood why. It was only when you were looking for Colleis medicine did you knock over a bottle that spilled down your shirt, and within a moment you felt your body burn. The effect truly was invisible, the substance clear as water. The first thing you did was to wipe it off, the sensation so terrible it took you a moment to connect the dots. It felt the same as when you'd step out of the house, the same as when you'd put on more layers. Was it someone's- was it Tighnari's doing?

The idea made your stomach curl, and you were quick to try and confront him. But all you've been met with was Tighnari telling Collei you seem to be getting worse, making up stories about him.

"I didn't expect local flora to affect you that way, we will be more careful next time"

And when your whining was finally over, now that Collei walked somewhere else, you had to deal with what you've caused.

To think someone like you could try to make Tighnari, the beloved caretaker of the forest, look bad. You couldn't forget the look of disappointment on Collei's face when she walked out, remembering the gloomy look on the foxes face. The memory had your hands shaking.

"To accuse me of such things. I really do wish to know what I might've done that you try to make me look bad" and yet you already knew what face hid behind that mask. Any protest you brought up was muffled by his hand, fingers easily making you drink a vial. Being pressed against the wall with his fingers blocking your nose was sure one way to get you to swallow it whole.

It made you dizzy rather fast, and he managed to just about lay you on the bed before you fell unconscious. Tighnari panicked, he had to find a backup plan. He couldn't let you leave him with that issue, leave him stranded till he'd die.

Sure, you were just a human girl. A pathetic little idiot who thought she'd get away with getting on his nerves, teasing his nature. And then planning to leave, he couldn't let you be away without a consequence.

And not once did he mention the weakness of his kind, to him, his manipulation was just means of ensuring your stay. And now that you had clear plans to move, Tighnari made it sound like he was used by you.

Maybe him not telling you why you couldn't leave was also means to keep his own shame to himself. He'd whine about this to someone, and not bring the issue up with you. and since you pretended to deserve knowledge, to be so knowledgeable, maybe you should've known what you've done when you let Tighnari have his way with you.

You hated everytime he turned it that way, and Collei didn't look too keen to touch the topic anymore. Because as longest as you didn't try to leave, the forest ranger didn't mention the topic to anyone. You'd be good, let him do as he pleased, and you'd be fine.

That's until your friend was back from Fontaine to meet with you up again. Tighnari dreaded that visit, traveler always could tell when something was wrong. And you were meant to be gone from Sumeru by that time, so after a while of planning he made you behave. By some miracle you had your hands on herbs that would help you with not conceiving the first and last time you let Tighnari act up, and you thanked Archons for that opportunity.

But this time, Tighnari was straight about it. And if you dared to as much as make a wrong look, he'd make sure you'd be swollen with kits before you'd be able to say another accusation. Before you'd able to leave and not depend on him anymore.

And so, when Traveler and Paimon finally arrived, you did your best to behave. Using their visit as means to distract the forest ranger, you had a plan. After all he couldn't chase after you when they were there, so you waited carefully for the time they'd arrive, and dressed up. Earlier you didn't do that, because of the odd feeling on your skin, usually wearing loose clothing. That was preffered by Tighnari's standards. You were a silly woman, easy access was what was preferable.

And the moment you were alone for as much as a moment, you ran. You ran on your feet fast, you ran for a while. And even if the pain was like needless, you pushed through, just to make sure you weren't there anymore. And even if you were faintly aware that someone was after you, you landed in the famous sumerian port. Only then did you realise how long you haven't seen this place, and before that someone could catch up to you, you sneaked on the container ship. It rather fast sailed away, leaving the person who followed you rather angry.

Traveler did ask Tighnari where you went, and as much as the ranger tried to hide both his anxiety and anger, he assured it must've been to get Collei's medicine. Shortly after the traveler was gone though, Cyno met face to face with the other.

"She sailed to Inazuma, now that the decree in Inazuma is lifted, a lot of merchants move their things there." He started. Ah he was annoyed, Cyno didn't want to disappoint his friend like that. But he almost had you, almost.

"It will take three days for the boat to arrive to the port in inazuma, but there's no other boat available for at least a week" and yet Tighnari couldn't bring himself to be angry at the general. It was his own issue. "Thanks for letting me know that."

Cyno scoffed. Although not earlier mentioned, Cyno met with you quite a bit. Everytime he visited Tighnari, you exchanged glances. And these weren't pleasant. You knew Cyno was aware of everything, and Cyno didn't care either. As longest as his friend was happy, he couldn't care less for an opinion of a woman. Even more so, one who thought she could handle taking care of plants and forests without any real talent.

Or a vision, to show her ambition was worthy of attention.

You tried to gain knowledge to be able to develop more solutions for the problems of your nation, and now you were not only chased by a crazy fennec, you also had a general from Sumeru on your tail.

First days in Inazuma were nothing but an issue, and you eventually managed to ask the sweet girl you met to find you a job. Ayaka already knew where you'd be useful, and so you ended up as the main caretaker of her garden. Her estates garden that is. Even though you hardly met her brother, Thoma was good enough of a friend. Although nothing was between you two, it took you some convincing to make Ayaka hide your traces in Sumeru.

You cried to the Celestia itself that day, just how blessed you were that someone as kind as her was willing to help you out on your second day in Inazuma, keeping in mind your impromptu arrival. After all you didn't get ready for this at all, maybe it was better. Maybe that cursed Ranger would've known something was up otherwise. Regardless, you were happy that Cyno couldn't show up. General in Inazuma could cause some diplomatic issues, and even if he sent men here in disguise, they'd never find you.

That is what you thought, because when the traveler came there to meet with people again before their new journey, you were sure you'd collapse.

"Paimon meant to ask, after the last visit in Sumeru we didn't see you for a while. Paimon is curious, do you not like the sumerus climate?"

She could be sweet, and yet that question itself seemed to fill you with anger. By then the fear of the ranger turned into anger faster than it could be seen that you were scared.

You said something unpleasant, after which paimon didn't ask about that at all. In fact, paimon didn't ask you anything again, and the guilt you felt in that moment was enough. You told the traveler that there was nothing to worry about, keeping Tighnari's little threat in mind.

He wasn't there, and it filled you with fear nonetheless. "Try anything, a word. Any weird movement, and I'll fill you with kits enough times for you to understand who you belong to." So that you wouldn't be able to leave.

It was sickening.

To bear the children of your captor was the last thing you'd want, and even if he wasn't there, that fear didn't go away.

Alas Traveler ended up hanging out with Ayaka for the most part, and it was peaceful for another week. That time spent in Inazuma felt great, refreshing aside from the constant paranoia. That whenever Ayato wanted something, you assumed he'd send you back to Tighnari. Or whenever Ayaka would take you out in her limited time, you'd look around, back and forth to try and see if someone is waiting to snatch you.

It took you another week to calm down and grow accustomed to the people, but it didn't last much longer.

One day that you finally felt fine enough to walk out on your own, you bought Ayato another rather weird combination of ingredients. And you weren't even there to carry it in, only remembering the blunt pain to the back of your head the moment you turned to walk back to the estate.

From the sound of it, it wasn't Tighnari to be the one to drag you back. He was quieter, but these steps were rougher, heavier.

Whoever that was, you woke up on the boat again, tied to the wood that kept the floors of the boat separated. The column of that wood was thick, and with how you were tied, you couldn't even shift to the side.

There he was, you saw the light colour of his purple vision in the darkness. It seemed he stayed on boat, because in the end he really came for you. "You're lucky Tighnari can't leave Sumeru for more than a few days." Cyno spoke. "otherwise he'd smash your skull in the moment he saw you"

You knew it didn't mean to make you feel better. In fact it only brought more fear to your gut, tears swelling in your eyes as you bit your lip. You wouldn't give him any satisfaction, silent whenever he spoke.

Coming to Sumeru was a bad choice. How could you not notice the way you were treated just because of your lack of vision? Just because you weren't from Sumeru, because you weren't a man. "he was worried sick for this past month, and here you are, parading with some other men like a whore"

Cyno murmured, looking down to you again. By then he was stood near you, and you couldn't help but hiss. Only hearing him made you fill with anger.

It ended as soon as it started, and soon you were led out of the boat by force of course. After making sure you were unconscious again, you were driven back to Ghandarva vile.

Ah Cyno kept complaining just how worried Tighnari was the whole time you were on the ship, and now even if you were unconscious, you could hear his annoying voice repeat that.

And you didn't care, to you, they both could die. They could just go at eachother if that's how Cyno cared for Tighnari, you didn't care.

More than seeing Tighnari, you dreaded waking up. Dreaded the consequence of your own action, facing him after knowing what you did. And how angry he'd be.

As soon as you opened your eyes you saw you were stuck in the similiar office again, with the soft bed, and the unfortunately similiar figure at the desk.

At least he seemed to be composed for now, eyeing you in silence before you were lectured. He'd leave the physical punishment for later, firstly telling you just how idiotic you are.

"You sure are pathetic, such a weakling like you going away. I sure hope you had fun, that was the wrong way to beg for my attention" he started, putting down the mixture of herbs he was mixing.

Tighnari stood up, his fluffy tail twitching. And it was clear he did his best to keep his ears straight, so they wouldn't betray any emotion. And yet they kept twitching backwards in annoyance. "I never wanted your attention, asshole-"

At least you managed to have some of your sass, his fingers squeezing your chin to tip your head up. You almost forgot you had your arms tied behind your back. "quiet, let the adult speak."

"To think you can toy with me and my feelings is truly disgusting" he started, scoffing. "you really are pathetic, getting me to bond with you to then try and leave me forever. How cruel can you be, y/n?"

Your face twisted in confusion, repulsion. You felt dreadful with how he turned the blame on you again. "I never wanted any of this, Ti-"

"You didn't! Ah, yes tell me all about it then!" Forcefully you moved your head away from his grip, and that did not seem to please him. "You know fully well we mate for life, and you just got up and left. What is actually wrong with you!"

"First you start showing yourself around me, carelessly showing off to tempt me. And when I finally had enough, I am to blame?" At that point you knew that speaking would rile him up more.

It wasn't the Tighnari you used to grow fond of. He was nice, he cared for you ; and now he's just awful. He didn't deserve any more words to describe his behaviour. And whenever you brought it up earlier, you were met with 'if you behaved, I could be nice around you again'.

Now wasn't the time to think about that, because he hissed. "I'm a man for Archons sake! You lured me in and then dared to-" he spoke with utter disgust. "Leave like nothing, are you really that dumb to think we wouldn't find you?"

It seemed the anger pent up and he didn't know how to express it anymore. Especially with his recent heat, where he couldn't cope with it anymore, crying from pain at the thought of not being able to get it out on you. It wasn't as bad before you two had sex that time, but now, now that he craved you, the pain was bad enough to make him throw up. That thankfully was a few days ago, now he was way better. It still brought a lot of anger and frustration, but you not seeing him in that sorry state was the most convenient.

"Or was it just some competition?" He started. "make yourself my mate and then fool around to make me prove myself like a pathetic little cub, all for your own amusement? That must've been what you wanted. To make me show how well prepared I am to care for you and our little kits-" oh no. No. "Ah, to test me like that, you sure are not trustworthy"

"But now, that..that will change. You won't leave me again to entertain other men" he started, leaning to look at you. By how he looked at you though- The threat from before finally sank in. He wouldn't let you leave. You wouldn't be able to leave.

You'd be stuck there with his kits, unable to go anywhere anymore. You'd be a good girl and stay in Sumeru, and you wouldn't make yourself visibly available to any other men as he assumed you wanted.

"Tighnari I'm- ssorry please ddon-t do this-" before you knew it you were already crying, his finger wiping off the tear as he sighed. "Don't cry, I'm only doing what's best for you, please, understand it" it wasn't time to focus on how angry he was. Because oh how happy he was to finally have you back.

For a brief moment that caring voice returned, even if it was nothing but condescending. By that time Tighnari was already sat on the bed, pushing you back to lie down. And with your arms tied, you couldn't as much as sit back up, shaking your head when he tugged you by your legs.

Like that he was sat between your thighs, looking at you.

Oh he'd rather do it when he'd be in heat, but he knew if he waited more, his little darling would find a way to leave.

Again.

And Tighnari could not have that in any way, he could not have you as much as think about it. "calm down now.."

Despite saying that he took your top by it's edgee, ripping the buttons off to open it up. "tighnari nno-" another whimper.

Squirming away was of no use, he held you down, and within moments your bottoms were off as well, face buried in your neck as his fingers dragged across your clothed heat. At least your underwear was still on.

You dared to try and hiss again, this time his hand dug into your waist, making you wince. After he made sure to bite your neck he spoke, maybe he enjoyed seeing your face twist in that pain.

Either way his other hand didn't have the glove on it anymore, fingers moving beneath your underwear to move up your folds, index one rubbing your clit in circles.

You really were just crying, whimpering for him not to do that, and each time he'd say something along the lines of. "Let me take care of it.." or "behave now, you brought this upon yourself" and even if he didn't speak it harshly, it was clear he was belittling you, focused on how easy it was to slick you up, his fingers easily entering you.

Tighnari shivered, oh it felt nice. You were so hot, squeezing his fingers in a way where he couldn't just wait to sink into you. And yet he was careful, dragging them over your walls, scissoring them lightly with each move until you were whimpering.

Each move made your body tremble, shivering. Your thighs squeezed him in a pathetic attempt to try and slow him down, or discourage him, but Tighnari only took it as a challenge, gripping your thigh to move it open.

"H-nhho- I'm ssor-Ssorry let's- nh- ttalk it o-ooUt.." your pathetic crying mixed in with the whimpers, breath hitching each time his fingers dragged out of you.

"It's far too late for discussions, mate" mate. Only then did it click he couldn't have been lying. Was it really your own fault for letting him use you that one, single time? No. You couldn't let yourself be tricked, he did it himself. He should've thought about what he did.

Tighnari's fingers felt undeniably nice, and despite the weak kick you tried to give him, your thighs only shook, funny feeling in your gut tightening, curling. Your little struggle only made him tip his head a little, did you really think you could do anything? Weakened?

He knew how to pick you apart, so when you felt close, he made you come on his fingers against your will.

The forest ranger knew how to make sure you weren't distracted, and once he slipped the remaining fabric off your legs he undid his pants, taking our his mostly hard length out.

Mostly hard- he must've gotten off to the sounds of you whimpering and asking him to stop. Fucking degenerate, you didn't understand how someone could get off to that idea. You couldn't even tell him how disgusting he was, Tighnari's tip already moving over your heat to slick himself.

Moving into you easily he groaned, the sound melodic as your heat tried to push out the unwanted intrusion. But it only made him let out a whimper, Tighnari bottoming out inside you soon after, pressing into you, almost grinding as he nibbled on your neck again. "ggonna stuff you sso good-" ah it's been so long-

He really really missed it, that's how it was supposed to be. You were his mate for archons sake! And as a good mate you were supposed to fulfill his desires! Not run away and make him hurt and ache!

After all it was your fault for allowing him to have sex with you that one time. It was your fault he couldn't stop himself from wanting you so much, you should've known. You should've asked. And you were selfish instead, now paying the price as he slowly moved his hips away from you, just to bottom out again with a shaky groan. That was right, you were his.

"N-nnari please don't-" you knew the nickname usually worked, pace smoothly picked up as he shook his head. "N-nhh.. shhut up-" another grunt followed. "Bbe good and take it- Nhh fuck- you're sso tight.." it's been some time since someone did that to you, and Tighnari felt somewhat grateful that, by how you reacted, he was the last one you laid with in this way.

All you could do was whimper through tears, your body feeling funny. For some reason your body reacted in a way that betrayed your mind, it wasn't what you wanted. And yet it only grew warmer, hiccups leaving as you stared at the ceiling.

"nGh.. you'll bb-be a good girl- take it-" the ranger started again, the softness of his tail tickling the underside of your thigh. "Look at you already- hheating up like that.." he was aware this was a punishment, but to Tighnari, - before he'd let his anger take over and destroy you - the punishment would be better if it was taken slow. Your body betraying you, violatiing you in a way where you couldn't control yourself.

You enjoying it would only make it more humiliating, and he really did want to make you ashamed enough not to get any more funny ideas.

With each move the pace picked up, hand tight on your waist as you let out a shaky hiss, other hand sliding down your thigh so his thumb could press to your already aching clit, giving it slow rubs.

It all made you feel tight again, abdomen growing tense as you tried to use your legs to shift away, digging your feet into the bed to move up. But his grip was too tight, Tighnari's hands forcing your hips back onto his cock.

"Don't- hhn.. don't ffucking try that--" the thrusts grew sharper, and you had no choice but to look away. That gave you some sort of control, distracting yourself from what Tighnari was doing. You wouldn't give him the satisfaction of coming on his length like a cheap whore.

He seemed to catch on with your plan, his thumb pushing into you even more to make you wince. "Don't annoy me even mm-more, y/n- you know what's.. hha.. gonna happen otherw-wwise-"

You thought back to the traveler. To Ayaka and Thoma. You used their kindness up and were snatched without a warning, you didn't even get to say goodbye.

You imagined yourself taking care of the garden there, remembering the way you had to use the knowledge provided by Tighnari to do that. That itself made your brain focus back on reality. "Look at me, nnow-"

Once he was ignored he decided to let your hip go, hand gripping your chin tight to make you look at him. His eyes were narrowed, ears pulling themselves back in annoyance. It took you a moment to realise how rough he had become, uncontrolled cry following. Were you really moaning pathetically while thinking about Inazuma?

"You'll look at me-" Tighnari hissed, thrusts nice and hard. Oh god. You'd break.

"And see everything-"

Another harsh thrust. You'd spill.

"I'm doing to you-"

With that your core went tense again, the orgasm you so badly avoided making your toes curl, shaking your head. But his grip was too firm.

It was understandable, he was rather good with his how.

"Y-you understand?"

Unfortunately for you, you weren't able to hiss again, shaky and quiet cry leaving as you arched into the other unwillingly. That itself had him shudder, feeling you come against him like that mare his hips stutter into yours.

"H-mhh.. ggonna fill you-" oh no. "You wwant to be a mommy?"

You cried out that no, despite it being muffled. You whined and tried to kick at him after realising what he really meant, but it was useless. He was too strong, he was too fast.

The pace was all funny, ah he was close it seemed, face lowering back again so his sharp teeth could graze your neck. "g-ngh.. you're ggOnna- nhh llook soo good swollen with my kkits-"

That outcome was to be expected. You did that to yourself.

And now you had to pay.

You recalled that before all of this, when that mistak between you happened, he pulled out right after he came, but now, now that he finished inside you, he only stayed in, the discomfort only now settling in.

He felt odd inside you, did you tighten or did he thicken? Even if you tried to shift your hips it only made you wince, Tighnari's ear giving a small twitch of satisfaction.

"We will be stuck like that for some time. This gives you time to reconsider what you've done"

You really were crying up to that point, salty and hot tears streaming down your warm cheeks as you hiccuped, shaking your head.

He was nothing but manipulating. Always talking like he cared about what you had to say, always behaving like he could resolve the issue when in reality, you were never listened to.

"It's fine if you don't feel talkative this time. We have much more opportunities to talk it out tonight"

[clockwork-ashes]

Daylight

The smallest of stones, the greatest of ripples.

Summary: Eris learns that Lucien is not Beron's son (one-shot).

Eris paced the small room, his steps soundless. Barefoot, ready for bed, cold rough stone to warm soft carpet. Over and over, again and again, a comfort. 

The smell of copper, sharp like night blooming flowers, hung in the air. Eris noticed that he had bitten through the inside of his cheek. He traced the wound with his tongue, the salt and metal of his blood enough to ground him, to clear his mind.  

Eris took a deep breath. He knew all the flames of this world, it was his birthright. Centuries he had lived, had witnessed much, gained enough wisdom. 

Eyes like gold, glowing unlike any fire made of Autumn, Eris had seen only a glimpse of it and had known. Magic was ancient, but simple, responding like a trained hound to those who had taken the time to learn its secrets. Stoked to life in the court he had been raised in, Eris would have recognised the flames as his own. 

Daylight. 

Sunbright, lovely, Lucien’s eyes had been twin stars in the darkness. 

It had taken every ounce of self control Eris possessed not to rear back at the sight, a death sentence. 

An oath taken, a promise made in blood, Eris had nearly forgotten. His mother’s hands, claws as she had gripped his arm, begged her eldest son to grant her strange request. Everything had been made clear as Eris had silently watched the Lady of Autumn gently stroke Lucien’s curls from his face, eyes half-lidded and gold only like sunlight could be. 

Small for his age and precious as all fae children were, Lucien was coddled by everyone in the Forest House.  

Half a decade, nothing in the grand scheme of things, and yet enough to change everything. The smallest of stones, the greatest of ripples. 

The flames in the fireplace flared, Eris tugged at the short strands of blood red hair at the nape of his neck. He felt like he was drowning, his head already below the water’s surface, Eris choked on his own fear. 

“Eris, please.” His mother’s voice was quiet, a tremor in her words as she took to begging him once more. For what, Eris did not know, and in the moment he could not be bothered to care. 

Eris whirled around to face her, smaller than he remembered, the Lady of Autumn looked up at her son. His fear was reflected in her eyes, the weight of knowing that an executioner’s axe hung just above Lucien’s head. 

“How could you?” Eris snarled, the words biting, accusatory. Never had he spoken to his mother in such a way, the softest of tones always reserved for her. 

She shook her head, loose strands falling from her braid and framing her thin face. Defeated, her shoulders curved as she curled in on herself. Eris hoped she felt guilty. “You wouldn’t understand,” she murmured, dismissive and soft.

A strangled laugh, short and unamused, was dragged from deep within Eris. His mother took a careful step towards him, and Eris took a measured step back. Closer in age than half his brothers, Eris had always understood the Lady of Autumn. “Six sons were not enough?” Eris snapped harshly.

“All children are a blessing,” she did not look at Eris as she said it, more to herself than to him anyway. 

Eris wondered if those were the words his mother had told herself when she had first married the High Lord. A half truth quietly whispered when she had been alone, but not entirely convincing despite how often it was said.   

“A fate worse than death awaits him,” Eris argued, sure that flames had come to life in his amber eyes, voice louder. “You’re lucky father is in Spring, or Lucien would be dead already.”

“You don’t know that,” hands clenched into fists at her side, the Lady of Autumn raised her own voice to match.

Eris felt as the temperature in the room changed, uncomfortably hot, the flames in the fireplace and in the torches along the wall responding to the raging emotions of them both. “It’s cruel,” he hissed, “it’s wrong.” 

A child born of an affair, Lucien was well and truly doomed, and who else was Eris to blame but the Lady of the Autumn Court.

“And you know much about cruelty,” the condemnation was clear in the tone his mother used. 

If Eris had taken a moment to think, to consider how worried and frightened she was, perhaps he would have known to stop their argument. Instead, Eris pointed a shaking finger, angry, at the female that had raised him as best she knew how. “And whose fault is that?” The question was bitter, all poison, meant to hurt. 

“You can be so much like your father.” 

The last word a growl, the statement hung between them. Eris would have rather she had taken a knife to his chest. 

Almost as though the Lady of Autumn had struck him, Eris flinched back. 

With a startled gasp, eyes wide in shock and lips parted, his mother put out her hand. Regret, clear as river water, flashed on her sharp features. But the words had been said. “Eris,” she took a step towards him, “I didn’t–” 

The door opened suddenly, the ancient hinges screaming in protest, cutting her sentence short. Eris was glad for it, wished he had not come home, would have preferred the war camps to this. 

Eris had assumed the door was locked, panic coursed through his veins as he wondered who might have heard. Relief, like rain during a drought, came over Eris as Lucien walked into the room. Only the crackling of the fire could be heard, Eris and his mother silent. 

Eyes half shut with sleep, russet once more, Lucien dragged his bare feet along with a small blanket behind him. Eris watched as he rubbed at his eyes with one hand, as he broke into a little yawn.

“Ris?” He mumbled, voice heavy. “I thought I heard your voice.” 

Eris watched as his mother moved towards her youngest son, expecting him to go to her. Instead, Lucien made his way to Eris, nearly tripping on the blanket he had brought with him. 

“Why aren’t you asleep?” Eris barely recognised his own voice. 

With a half-hearted shrug, Lucien knocked into Eris’s legs. “I heard you talking in the hall,” another yawn before he continued, “You didn’t come say goodnight.” Completely trusting and entirely unaware of all that had happened moments before he had entered the room, Lucien clung to Eris. 

The Lady of Autumn watched with wary eyes as Eris lifted Lucien into his arms gently. “Let’s get you back to bed.” He murmured. 

Lucien merely hummed his response, tired. Resting his head on Eris’s shoulder, his breaths slowing once more. 

Eris could see the pleading on his mother’s face, but he did not look at her long. He turned his attention to the arched window, watching the first rays of the sun inching over the horizon.  

Daylight.