#she tried very very hard to put her old self back together. and in some regard succeeded.

[the-valiant-valkyrie]

jotting down a couple of my solaris post death engine headcanons. hospitalization and mental decline is discussed, although not in all too thorough detail, so i suppose that's a cw?

saying that the medical team didn't consider solaris worth saving wouldn't exactly be accurate. but her condition seemed bleak, and her survival chance was incredibly slim

physical injuries aside, her radiation poisoning was the worst of it. when she was initially brought in after the crash, she wasn't expected to last even a handful of hours as a result of her exposure

said radiation also got all over her clothes, which- when you factor in that patches of them were melded onto her skin due to the sheer heat of the crash- certainly did not help matters much when it came to mitigating further exposure.

thankfully she survived the three hour grace period for severe radiation poisoning. then the three day grace period for moderate radiation poisoning. and then the two week grace period for 'mild' radiation poisoning… the treatments helped, of course, but her immune system hardly escaped unscathed. nor did her stamina, pain tolerance, hair, or the majority of her muscle mass

getting such a traumatic injury immediately after spending an extended amount of time in zero gravity wasn't exactly great for solaris' physical strength. once she was allowed to leave her cot she found it very difficult to support herself without the temporary use of axillary crutches.

she… did not like them. and accidentally made herself worse for a time by purposefully forgoing them. but it didn't take her too long to learn it was less miserable to use them than it was to collapse in the hallway in front of her coworkers.

the fabricator's company especially helped during that period… having designed her own prosthetic after losing her arm, there was little concern fabby would think her any weaker for relying on a mobility aid

the incident… really changed solaris' perspective on a lot of things. grappling with your potentially-rapidly-approaching death will do that to you. she was always a bit of a perfectionist, but going forward she started to cling to her mistakes with a lot more self-directed hostility. after all, it was, ultimately, her fault the death engine project failed to begin with

she also struggles with regret a lot more- mainly in regards to time, and the ways in which she 'wastes' it. another consequence of watching it slip between her fingers, half certain she would be spending the remainder of her life in a hospital cot.

she tries not to make either of these facts too obvious to her coworkers. the fabricator can tell rather easily, though. but that isn't the worst thing in the world. at least she won't weaponize any of it.

the day after she was let out of the hospital was the day she drafted her resignation letter from zoraxis. but she was too scared to do anything with it, or act on the urge to quit beyond that… it was a miracle she even survived to begin with. zor could kill her with a flick of their wrist if they wanted to. and it isn't as if she and the doctor were ever on the best of terms- especially not after her catastrophic failure. she… didn't want to tempt fate until it proved absolutely necessary.

she threw herself into building her imposing figure and nature back up almost as soon as she physically could. and while she inevitably became just as powerful as she was before the incident strength wise, her constitution leaves much to be desired. functionally, she's a glass canon. thankfully, she doesn't look like one- which is a fact that she uses to her advantage when necessary.

[ellecdc]

My love!! I have an idea for fic (only if you want to of course) james potter x reader where james is obsessed with reader’s tits and after a minor couple arguments james was still sulking and reader wants him to be the first one to talk to her so she wear very revealing clothes to tease him and he give in.

It doesn’t have to be a smut, just teasing and fluff!

hahaha awe this is so funny - the best part is, it would so work!!! Thanks for requesting 🫶

James Potter x fem!reader

CW: mention of boobs/tits/love of tits - no smut, joke about dying from suffocation on account of boobies

You were being petty; both of you were. In fact, the two of you seemed to be working overtime just to stay mad at each other at this point.

You can’t even really remember what you had argued about in the first place that caused this rift between you and James; all you knew was that you were not going to be the first to apologize.

It had been a few days since the big blow up that saw James uncharacteristically stern and firm in his words and left you feeling horribly defensive in response. Words were said, feelings were hurt, and now you were here.

Here being this awkward quasi-polite energy in your few measly interactions as you tried to co-exist in the same flat.

He made dinner one night - shrimp korma and a side of homemade naan - and you may have been mad, but you weren’t a jerk, so you thanked him for it.

You had been cleaning the flat one day and started a load of wash. You had more than enough room for more clothes, and not doing James’ wash just for the sake of it wasn’t worth the extra hit to your water bill (which wasn’t an issue, but old habits die hard in your case), so you threw his in too. And once it was washed and dried, well, you figured you might as well fold it and put it away for him. 

He had to begrudgingly thank you for that as well.

So now it was the weekend, and the two of you were clearly dying to update each other on your weeks. You couldn’t help but admit that you really missed James. You missed chatting with him, you missed laughing with him, you missed venting to him, and you missing cuddling with him.

There were other things you missed but... that was neither here nor there. 

All this to say, the feud needed to end.

But you were steadfast in your stance that you were not going to break first.

The idea came to you yesterday morning when James returned from his run sans shirt and muscles glistening with sweat in a way that actually had your mouth watering like some kind of deranged off-brand Pavlov experiment. The worst part was that James had noticed you ogling him and walked away to shower (alone, the bastard) with a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

No matter, this just served to give you your brilliant master plan to win him back.

You had something James adored... two things, as a matter of fact.

Anyone who knows James Potter knows that James is a certified Boob Guy™. More specifically, James Potter loved your tits. You had two assets free to use in this battle, and you weren’t going to let that advantage go to waste. 

The weather, it seemed, supported your master plan and was finally warm and sunny enough to break out some of your more... revealing clothing. Today’s ensemble consisted of a particularly low neckline and tight-fitting tank top. You gathered a book and a bottle of water as you walked towards the back door for the terrace. James, being completely unable to break his good mannerdness even in the face of petty feuds, jumped up to get the door for you when he noticed that your hands were full. 

You made a point to use your elbows to encourage the girls a little closer together as he approached, causing him to stumble in his steps as his eyes strayed from his destination.

“Thanks, Jamie.” You murmured quietly, making sure a cool sense of indifference still coloured your tone. That seemed to shake James from his reverie as he looked up at you, a look of regret seeming to cross his face briefly at not being able to do what he would normally opt to in this situation (i.e., shove his face between them and die due to suffocation). 

“’Course.” He offered instead of saying “oh my god I love your boobies” and cleared his throat, closing the door gently behind you as you made your way to a lounge chair. 

You knew James wouldn’t have gotten far, so you read a few pages before deciding to step up this little ruse.

You slipped your tank top off to display your torso, boobs only supported by a thin bandeau wrapping around your chest. You poured a little water into your hair and then onto your chest to cool off when you heard a solid thunk on the panned glass of your back door. 

When you turned to look, you saw James’ retreating form and the tell-tale imprint of his forehead against the window where he had been standing previously. 

Though you knew you made an impact today, James seemed resolute in his sulking. No matter, tomorrow was a brand-new day.

Being a brand-new day, your morning outfit was a pair of joggers that you rolled the waist band a few times to expose more abdomen paired with a cropped top that was probably a touch too cropped to begin with, let alone paired with your currently braless state.

You could have sworn you heard James try (and fail) to suppress a groan as you entered the kitchen. You hid a smirk as you offered him a faint ‘morning’ and began readying yourself a cup of tea.

Apparently, James’ self-restraint snapped when you stood on your tip-toes to reach the honey on the second shelf of your cupboard; the action of you raising your arm causing your shirt to also lift sinfully.

“Angel.” He keened, causing you to turn your (what you hoped to look like an) innocent expression on him.

“Yes, Jamie?”

He groaned again and stood from the breakfast table, taking slow, cautious steps towards you. “I’m so sorry, love I... I hate that I let us go this long upset with each other.”

Your mouth pinched to the side as you spread your arms – inviting James into your embrace which he was all too eager to accept. “I’m sorry too, bubs. I’ve been immature.”

He half-chuckled half-groaned into your shoulder as the two of you relished in the feel of being in the other’s arms. 

“You are a cheeky little minx, torturing me like this.” He muttered.

“Like what?”

James scoffed and pulled back to look at you incredulously, but any mirth in his face was completely curtailed by the fondness oozing from his warm brown eyes.

“Oh, I’ve missed you.” He said as he bent his knees to be at eye level with your tits before he shoved his face right between them.

You rolled your eyes though he couldn’t see it, asking “who? Me or my tits?”

He was quiet for a moment as he thought about his answer. “Both?” He said, voice muffled from his place in your chest.

“I’ll allow it on account of your withdrawal.” You conceded. 

Note to self: all future arguments can be solved by flashing a little under-boob. 

[sourpatchys]

•Shigaraki Falling for You•

A series of events following Shigaraki Tomura falling for you. (Reader is not in the league of villains)

Warning: protective/stalker behavior (potentially Soft Yandere?) and Self deprecating thoughts (nothing major)

Reader: written with a female reader in mind, but can be read as gender neutral

It’s going to be a slow process

The most slow burn of all slow burns

Truly he wishes he could just kill you, your stupid face and equally as stupid personality could fuck right off into dust.

He thought it was a fluke— any male his age would get a little flustered at the sight of someone as attractive as you are.

But then the feeling never stopped and he completely lost sight of himself

He’s never had the desire to get to know someone— you can’t really blame him for being so confused

For awhile he completely locks himself away from you, refusing to look at you or acknowledge you whatsoever (though he still found himself lurking around in your vicinity)

Once that fazes out he’s just angry.

Angry at himself, angry at you and angry at the world

You’re stuck to his brain in such an alarming way— he honestly thought it was someone’s quirk being used against him, like it was some sick joke

He hated it. He hated the way you made him feel, and he hated himself for feeling

No matter how hard he tried to fight it (albeit not very hard) he couldn’t find it in himself to hate you

His anger quickly turned to infatuation

He needed to know more about you, he needed to understand why your presence kept pulling him in

You were nice to him when he would come by the coffee shop you worked at

You gave him a smile so genuine it made him want to smile back

He found himself following you home some nights, just too see what route you would follow on certain days

This little routine of his made him wonder how you stayed so upbeat

Your customers were rude and entitled

Some of them would let their hands linger on you when you gave them change

Some of them gave you a hard time just to see you get upset

One guy in particular had tried to get you fired, making up more lies than shigaraki had ever heard.

He saw you cry for the first time in months in your apartment that night

Without really thinking about it, he tracked that guy down and killed him so you’d never have to see his face again

He didn’t know that killing that one guy would start a frenzy in himself

Now whenever someone got angry with you, whenever they couldn’t see that you were just doing your job—

He took it into his own hands to shut them up.

It wasn’t his most calculated idea, it wasn’t long before the police started to watch the area, and soon after more hero’s were out on patrol

He couldn’t really find it in himself to care though

One off handed comment from Dabi changed his whole ideals around in an instant

“If you keep going to her she’s just going to get in trouble”

It was a joke, he was making fun of him for taking so much time out of his day just to watch you exist

But it flipped a switch in his head

You had to come to him instead.

The more he thought about it the more he didn’t want you working at that crusty old coffee shop at the corner of town.

He didn’t want you dealing with those disgusting civilian creeps anymore 

The only safe place for you to be was with him

At this point he still hadn’t put the pieces together, he still wasn’t sure why you made him feel the way that he did.

That didn’t stop him from stumbling on your doorstep pretending he got mugged though

You were surprised to see him, he could see it in the gleam of your eyes

He wasn’t even sure if you knew who he was. Which he supposed would make things easier

And you didn’t know who he was— all you knew is that he was one of your regulars and that he needed your help

He had asked you not to call the police, he claimed he didn’t want any trouble with law enforcement— that he just wanted some water and a place to sit down

You were obviously on edge, scared, confused— all things he expected. But you let him in.

He had walked to your house on his own, letting himself get soaked in the storm outside. He wanted to seem believable, he wanted you to give him the attention he craved so badly

Your apartment smelled like coffee and sugar cookies, a pleasant smell he knew he wouldn’t be able to forget. It was the smell of you— a smell you carried with you wherever you went.

In the back of his mind he made sure to note that he needed to get you a wax warmer, he never wanted to go without this scent. He was starting to crave it.

You were patient with him, getting him water, checking his head for bumps and his body for bruises

You were like his own personal guardian angel

He took you that night

Not a trace of your life left behind, empty floors and bare walls. Not even your scent remained.

[connoisseursdecomfort]

All the lies in Chapter 86, and the truth behind

Yes, I'm still screaming internally, and I don't think I will ever get over this chapter.

Endo have told us right from the beginning: this is a story about lies:

Everyone has a secret self they don't show to other people. Not even to family. Not to friends. Not to lovers. And thus the world. They hide who they are and what they want behind lies and painted smiles.

Twilight is a liar. He consciously tells so many lies in this chapter, but it's what he (and the people around him) unconsciously shows really count.

*Manga spoiler alert*

Endo masterfully blends lies and truths together in this chapter. They recognise the existence of all facades, but somehow still manage to show what reality lies beneath, i.e. the three scenes many people have discussed.

When he tries to use his infamous excuse, "for the mission", once again, even Nightfall could tell that it's not the whole truth.

What's more interesting is when the team is in the car, and the old agent asked Twilight to grab a drink with him once they got back. Twilight refused, and that's when the old agent said: クツ調子いい時だけ家庭面しやがつて in the jp version.

The slight difference is he's saying Twilight only puts on that mask of a family man when he sees fit. It of course still means that Twilight is using his family as an excuse to not grab a drink with him. Twilight then replied: その面をかぶるのが任務ですつてば. (It is my job to put on that mask.)

There is something poetic about the dialogues. There IS a pretence. There IS a mask to be put on for the mission. But Twilight's excuse has lost some of its validity because literally panels ago he's just got called out. And the old agent's tease is a common one against married men who'd avoid office gatherings "because he needs to go home and be the family man". It's a friendly banter.

They then chatted about his "fight" with Yor. There were four professional spies in the car, and none of them found it weird that he just called Yor his wife, and acted like a miserable married man worrying about his wife being angry at him. They were so normal about the situation it's as if Yor really is his wife.

It is the sense of normality that makes everything feel so real. He tried so hard to keep a distance with "his mission", but his actions and the word choices have exposed him.

He still doesn't call the Forger residence home, but he uses this word - 帰, to return. Mika made a thread about this. You only return to something or someone because at the very least part of you feel belong (I'm being ultra careful here but my soul is screaming it's because you feel at home). The place you "return" to must contain some sense of stability. He unwittingly reveals how the Forgers have become his safe place.

That's probably why once he stepped into the apartment and saw a smiling Yor, he fell to his knees. His body finally allowed himself to relax.

But that is also when his lies reappeared. He lied about his day. He lied about his wounds. And he lied about his feelings. It was Yor who opened up to him. He was lying.

While confessing to Yor in his mind.

This might be an unpopular opinion, but I don't think he's telling the truth in his mind. This doesn't mean he's consciously lying. He is trying to convince himself into "seeing the reality".

I'm going to gush so much about these two pages. Brace yourself.

I love these two pages so much, because it shows how lies can be more revealing than a spoken confession. Especially when Twilight is probably unaware of it.

Yor told him that he could rely on her. She uses the term 甘える.

甘える is to go to someone you trust when you feel scared or upset, to moan about your problems even if they sound trivial, and to ask for help for the tiniest things. It works both ways, you wanting to get attention and knowing that the person would still love you and baby you. You know you can be weak and the one you rely on would still find you to be adorable.

That's exactly what Yuri was doing. He ran to Yor crying after being beaten up. That's also what Anya did.

Yor told him that it's okay to be not perfect, and she's willing to share his burden.

He wanted to tell her so much more, but he only gave her a short answer. He just told her that she's made him feel better, but he wanted to talk to her about it. That's when he started to confess to her in his head.

On the surface, this confession shows that he's trying to deny her request. He is insisting that he has to be perfect.

Here's the tricky thing, by explaining to her why he had to be perfect, he had to admit that he's weak.

He wanted to tell her that he fucked up today and needed to be better. He wanted to show weakness. He wanted to 甘える. And his tone just further gives him away.

I will have to admit that I love how he talked to Yor in his head, especially "でもわヨルさん、オレは". He's using such a soft tone while trying to talk himself into toughening up. He went physically soft too. Fell down thrice even if he had prepped himself to get his guard up. He just couldn't do it when he's with Yor.

There are things he can't tell her, but there are more he can't admit to himself. He has wrapped himself in layers of lies, and they turned out to be more revealing than ever.

Twilight is still a huge liar in Chapter 86. I'm not sure if he's a cool liar, but he is the softest liar ever.

There are so many things I want to scream talk about. How he called Yuri "Yuri Briar" but Yor "Yor san". How he asked about Anya once he got home. How he's failed thrice trying to keep his guard up in front of Yor. How he called out to Yor when he thought Yuri had returned. But I guess it's for another day.

[farfromstrange]

Do No Harm

CHAPTER ELEVEN: He's Not The Sun

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Pairing: Matt Murdock x F!Reader

Summary: Claire puts one and two together, and she confronts Matt when he climbs through her window that night.

Warnings for this chapter: Angst, Claire is a bit "mean" in this one, self-hatred, brief description of injury

Word Count: 3.2k

A/n: At first, I thought about writing Claire's POV, but I didn't like it, so I circled back to Matt. Be patient though, things are purposefully moving very slowly. We all love Matt, but Claire cares for Reader, so she is being overprotective (which we can't blame her for!). Just don't hate me for this, 'kay? (Also, I hope at least some of you get the references I put in this one).

Read Chapter 11: He's Not The Sun here on AO3

The wooden frame of the window creaks as he slides through the opening. 

Matt has been all over the city tonight. He tried to channel his anger and frustration into his fists and out into the world; he tried to make sense of the chaos that surrounds him everywhere he goes, but he didn’t get very far tonight. 

Bloody and bruised, he crawls home to the one person he knows won’t turn him down.

Something feels off tonight though. It isn’t the lack of hopelessness he has been experiencing ever since he heard your voice for the second time that day. That, as unusual as it is for him, doesn’t feel all that odd. He has embraced it. He likes it. Something else is in the air, and a looming sense of doom threatens to constrict his airway.

You’re a bad idea, a lapse in judgment, but no one consumes him more. When everything burns too brightly for him to breathe, you supply him with fresh oxygen. When he’s spiraling, your voice brings him back from the cliff's edge.

Matt is irrevocably obsessed with you. After that phone call—after you dared to ask him out again—he felt his chest fill with a new sense of hope. You gave him something to look forward to. Something good. Something pure.

The prospect of getting to know someone who seems to be a very guarded person is the most valuable. It means that you consider there to be a certain level of trust between the two of you. It may be dangerous, and acting on the feelings he keeps having may be the worst idea he has ever had, but Matt couldn’t stop even if he wanted to. 

Hell’s Kitchen has seemed a little less like a dead end tonight. His fists are bloody now, his ribs are bruised, and the old stitches on his chest have torn the first hour in, but the world isn’t ending. Usually it does whenever he fails. Not tonight though. He thinks of you tonight, and his chest gets a little lighter with each breath of fresh air he takes to calm himself.

He’s in good spirits when he climbs through Claire’s window, but that is where it ends.

Matt enters, and he instantly can no longer shake the feeling that something is, indeed, very wrong. 

Claire has been pacing. The echo of missed calls and text messages hangs in the air. And when he takes a deep breath in, the lingering scent hits him like a truck.

Sliding the mask off his face, he tilts his head.

“How bad is it?” Claire asks from the doorway to the kitchen. 

The guilt drips from her tongue, but it has nothing to do with him. Anger and worry spike her blood pressure; she can’t fool him, no matter how hard she tries. 

“Someone was here,” he deflects. 

“Can’t be that bad if your voodoo senses still work.”

“Just a bruised rib. I, uh, popped my stitches.” Matt takes a step forward, hissing. “I told you not to tell anyone where you are.”

On any other day, in any other case, he would have lectured her, but his voice lacks power this time.  

Matt wants to protect his identity—needs to—but he can’t even keep Claire safe. She didn’t have to pull him out of that dumpster, but he was the one who told her he would be coming back. He’s burning everything and everyone around him to the ground like an old church at first contact with a tipped-over candle. 

He’s unable to stop. He wants to be a savior; protecting the city, protecting his family, and protecting everyone else. Matt wants to be a hero, as much as he claims otherwise. To him, that is the purpose God gave him. 

He grew up believing he was nothing but a soldier. Stick taught him that. Then, he left, and Matt eventually gave up hope. He was just a child then. A little boy, lost and alone. The mindset Stick forced onto him stayed, and it is a resilient bastard. It’s like a parasite that feeds off of him and refuses to leave. 

He has no idea what to believe in anymore. The one person willing to take him under his wing walked out on him years ago, and he has accepted that it’s all he will ever be good for.

Experiencing all the injustice in the world in every sense but his eyes have given him no other choice but to leave the path of lawfulness and take a different turn—a turn he is now facing the repercussions for at a very dead end. 

You’re getting close to him, and that means you’re inevitably in the line of fire too, just like everyone else Matt holds dear—but he never holds them close enough to allow himself to get hurt. The thought of you getting hurt remains to kill him like a dangerous toxin in his bloodstream. 

Your scent is glued to the walls of the apartment, and Matt is roughly brought back to reality. The love-sick haze he had been in all night dissipates.

Catching himself on the back of the chair she keeps next to the couch, he groans. His side screams in protest. He’s bleeding; he can smell the copper in the air, mixing with Claire’s sweat and her previously shed tears that are still thick in the atmosphere. And perhaps it is your tears, too. 

You.

Olivia Clarke. He truly does believe there is more to it, and that something else is going on, but too many thoughts crowd his mind at once, and he can only think about one. 

He imagines her standing with crossed arms in front of him, her stance wide and her eyes empty, wiped clean by the storm of her emotions. The fire begins to burn a little brighter, swallowing her whole. All he can think about is the fact that you have been here. Neither Matt nor Claire can deny that. 

“Who did you meet?” he asks, his voice low and rough as he takes another unsteady step forward.

“You tell me, Mike,” she counters. “Or should I call you Matt?”

The blood freezes in his veins. “How did you—”

But Claire cuts him off. “I was hoping to be wrong.” She shakes her head, and under her breath, she whispers to herself, “She was so happy. God, why does this always happen?”

The alarms are blaring at full volume in his head. Matt bares his teeth. “Who are you talking about, Claire? Who told you–” he grunts.

She knows. 

“Who told you my name?” he asks. 

“I hate being right sometimes. You wanna know who was here?” Claire pauses. “I have a friend who I happen to work with. You may know her,” she says. “Olivia Clarke? Yeah. She’s the one you’ve been lying to about who you are behind all of—” she points him up and down, “This. A blind, masked vigilante who likes to get himself on Russian ganbangers’ bad side.”

His face falls. Hearing it out loud puts things into perspective. Hearing it out loud makes it real. 

Your scent fills his nose again. Your heartbeat pounds in his ear, a very vivid memory of this afternoon, and your voice echoes.

“Fuck!” he curses. “It’s not—” he was going to say that it isn’t what it looks or sounds like, but that would be the most unbelievable lie. “It’s not like that,” he says. 

“Then what is it like? Tell me, Matt—if that’s even your real name.”

“I… okay, listen. We bumped into each other at the hospital the other night and hit it off. I didn’t know—” His face contorts.

“Didn’t know she had feelings?”

Claire breeches the distance between them. She glides her fingers along his clothed torso, lifting his shirt to see the damage for herself. The skin is slick with his blood, the stitches long gone. 

Her usually so calculated movements are a lot more disoriented tonight. She’s tense, shaking. 

Matt sucks in a sharp breath when she starts working on cleaning the wound with a cotton swab from her first-aid kit. “No,” he shakes his head. “I didn’t know you two knew each other. Let alone that you were friends. If I had, I wouldn’t have…” he trails off. No matter what he says, it will only prove her right that he is, in fact, an asshole. 

“What did you think?” Claire sneers. “You tell me to turn my whole life around while you act like nothing’s wrong during the day, flirting your way through Hell’s Kitchen and landing on someone who works at the same hospital as me? She’s my best friend!”

“We had coffee. That’s all.”

“Don’t lie to me. You gave her your number twice, and you asked her out. She came to me, panicking because you were her first date in years, and I gave her advice like the idiot I am.” She scoffs. “Don’t act like it was just coffee because if it had been, you wouldn’t have said yes to dinner when she asked you.”

Claire pours the disinfectant directly onto the cut, and he howls in the back of his throat. “Sorry,” she says, but it lacks sincerity. “I couldn’t even answer her texts because I feel like I’m complicit in lying, even though I never signed up for this.”

Matt adjusts in his seat. The medicinal alcohol burns through his bloodstream. 

She sticks three butterfly bandages over the cut, one after the other. “To think I told her you were a good guy because I was hoping someone had finally come around for her who wouldn’t hurt her.”

“I would never hurt her,” he answers without missing a beat.

“Then why did she tell me about how she met this handsome lawyer, but not that he runs around in spandex at night, throwing fists at bad guys?”

“Because…I couldn’t tell her. I couldn’t.” Taking a deep breath, his eyes stop darting around. He wraps his hand around her wrist, stopping her desperate attempt to patch him up. 

Right now, Claire hates him. She’s furious with him and worried about you, and she doesn’t quite know where to with herself, but she also can’t let it be. Matt’s hurt; after saving his life, she feels responsible for making sure he’s okay. Her movements are muscle memory, but he can’t focus, not like this. 

“You see the situation you’re in, Claire.” Her pulse quickens at the mention of her name. “If I tell her,” he explains, “she’ll be in danger, and I can’t… She’s too good for that. And so are you, but you chose to pull me out of that dumpster.”

“Don’t act like it’s my fault for not wanting to let you bleed out,” she claps back. 

He tightens his grip, urging her not to slip away. “That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh, I know what you meant. And I agree, Liv’s too good for you.”

The second she has finished bandaging his wound, she breaks free from his grasp and steps away. Being close to him seems to hurt her. He can hear it in the way she breathes, brushing her hair away from her sweaty forehead. Her temples must be pounding. 

Matt lowers his shirt again, sighing. “She has something about her. The way she talks, the way she carries herself, I just… she draws me in. And she’s good to me.”

A million reasons why he can’t stay away from you, but he can’t voice any of them in the way he wants to. The words just won’t come.

Claire wipes her hands on a towel nearby. “She doesn’t exist to make you feel better,” she says. “She doesn’t exist to make anyone feel better. She thinks she does, but she isn’t. I thought you, out of all people, would understand that.”

No one exists for the sake of another person.

“I know she’s had a bad childhood,” he says.

“It’s not just about her bad childhood. It’s everything. She deserves better.”

“Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I’m aware that I’m bad for her? That everything I do has a tendency to backfire on the people I care about?”

She avoids looking at his face entirely. “I want to believe you, but I can’t,” she says.

“Claire—”

She shakes her head. “You need to cancel that dinner.”

The words take a very long moment to register. “You want me to break her heart?” he asks.

Matt imagines that—hurting you, breaking your heart, and never seeing you again—and it crushes him. Over his dead body, that is what he thought when you answered the phone earlier that evening. Now, Claire is begging him to kill himself so that you can be free of him. She finally sees him through the same mirror he views himself through, and it is terrifyingly isolating.

The floorboards creak under the weight of her steps as she begins to pace. “I don’t know,” she admits. “Maybe? Yes? All I know is that you can’t see her again.”

The wave that comes at him threatens to pull him under. She met the Devil first, but he was so broken then that a glimpse of Matt was already peeking through. He wants to disappear.

Claire’s view of the world has always been sober, but now that he is in the spotlight of it all, he wishes he would have never come to her again. He was alone, and she was there, but it should not have happened.

Subconsciously, he matches her labored breathing. “I get you, Mi—Matt,” she murmurs. “I do. And I keep telling myself it’s twisted, but I can’t help it. You’re hurt, and I know how to take care of that. God knows I shouldn’t have got involved with you. I don’t regret it. I’m not trying to make you feel worse than you already do, but Liv’s safety is something I can’t risk. I won’t. Endless devotion is the only way she knows how to love. And if you go out with her—if you make her fall for you—she will get herself killed.”

You. Dead. The combination tastes sour. No amount of bleach could remove the blurry imagination of you, dying because of him. His chest tingles, a thousand lightning bolts at once. If he goes along with it, he fears her words might become real. But who’s to say they won’t either way? The fear settles into his bones like a chronic ache.

Matt gets up. His knees buckle, but he tries to stand strong. The question is, who is he trying to fool? Claire knows better, and he can’t even believe himself anymore. It’s pointless. 

“I know you care about her, but after the Russians are taken care of—” he begins.

Claire raises her hand. The wind brushes across his cheek, stopping him in his tracks. “Doesn’t matter,” she says. “You won’t stop.”

“I…” he sighs. “You know I can’t. Not when I have to listen to the law fail every damn night. This city needs me in that mask.”

“I’m not telling you to stop. I know you’ve made up your mind, and that’s your choice, but Liv can’t be dragged into this. If it’s not the Russians, it will be something or someone else trying to get a piece of you, and they will drag those close to you down with you.” Claire crosses her arms again. “We both know I’m right,” she says. 

“You’re asking me to break her heart. That’s not fair,” the sentence hangs in the air, a helpless breath on his lips as he tries to reach for a way out of this hell. 

Her fingers dig into her biceps. “Can you promise that she won’t get hurt?”

He opens his mouth. Not a single sound escapes him. And Matt realizes that if he wants to answer that question, he has to lie. The truth will prove her right. It proves him right.  

She nods. His hesitation speaks volumes. “If you let her down easy now, you won’t do any irreparable damage. You both can move on.”

But he doesn’t want to move on. Again, nothing but a strangled grunt in the back of his throat slips past his lips. Matt loathes himself more than anything. Death seems kinder than whatever this is supposed to be.

If he had chosen to go home and stitch himself up tonight, maybe he could have still been pretending by now, and he wouldn’t be on the verge of losing you.

She sniffs. She isn’t crying, but her nose is still running from the presence of the very persistent cat, who has been watching them ever since Matt climbed into the window. 

“She’s like family to me,” Claire tells him as calmly as she possibly can. “I can’t let you do this to her, not after I’ve got a taste of what it’s like.”

If you were there with them, you would tell her to mind her own business. Knowing you, you wouldn’t allow her or anyone to control you. You are in charge of your own destiny, but as she said, you would go into it blindly and sacrifice yourself if he truly means that much to you, and if that were to ever happen, he might lose you. Claire might lose you. You might die, and that is a thought that Matt can’t even stand to form, but he has no choice as the voices come crashing back in. 

rough his shirt to touch his wound. It’s not a gentle caress, not at all.

“Promise me she’ll be okay?” he asks. 

Claire nods. “Of course, she will. You’re not the center of her universe,” and although she probably meant it to sound snarky, a certain softness follows through the sound of her voice.

Maybe in another life, he could be. In another life—another universe—he could be your sun, or perhaps the moon that shines at midnight as rain falls. Just not in this one.

He slips through the window back into a reality that is much different from whatever fantasy he could possibly conjure up to soothe the hot ache that spreads through his heart, and when his feet hit the wet ground, he knows he has a decision to make. 

Tag List: @shiorimakibawrites @allllium @siampie @auroraslibrary @roseallisonparker @abucketofweird @thatonegamefish @capylore @kniselle @sumo-b98 @peachstarliight @danzer8705 @kakamixo @littlehappyperson @atemydadforbreakfast @stevenknightmarc @zheezs14 @shouldbestudying41 @kiwwia-wiwwia @writtenbyred @echo-ethe @kezibear @peterbarnes

[thoughtsbydorian]

Random Hazbin HCs cause I can’t sleep

- The cannibals don’t have eyes because they eat them after they regenerate. Cannibal town works so well because no one actually dies they just take turns being eaten before regenerating. Cannibals are NOT hellborn, rather most of them are victorian folks who indulged in the mummy craze.

- Molly died before angel dust, i think she died in a shooting because of the mafia when they were teens/young adults. Hence why Molly was never really involved in the family business and I think it could also account for Angel’s turn to illicit substances.

- Angel and Husk knew each other in life, maybe even hooked up briefly. Husk is actually the younger of the two but not by a lot.

- Charlie used to have another group of sinner friends but they were all killed in the first extermination.

- Angel and Alastor are the only ones of the main crew who were never married in life.

- Nifty got married her senior year of high school and did her best to be the perfect wife. She had some fertility issues and had mental breakdown, causing her husband and family to have her institutionalized. After a while she escaped and took out her rage on her husband and her older cousin who he was cheating on her with. She ended up setting the house on fire and causing a small explosion in which she lost an eye. However she tried to continue her rampage, going to her parents where her father was the one who shot her down.

- Vaggie was never alive. Rather she was created to care for children souls in heaven before she was recruited to be an exorcist. Part of the reason she became an exorcist was to protect the kids. She was under the impression that all children went to heaven. Though when she went to kill the cannibal kid, she realized she was wrong and the system was far more flawed than she realized.

- Angel was a an overlord under his father for the first few years he was in hell (leaving after he realized that he didn’t need to pretend he wasn’t gay anymore)

- Every so often Charlie locks her self away to cry about the idea of losing all here friends

- Alastor has a very strict moral code when it comes to who he kills. He only kills those who take advantage or abuse of others. Which is why he didn’t kill Husk when he could’ve.

- Nifty and Alastor would tag team Valentino so hard

- Part of the reason Vaggie didn’t put together that Angelic weapons could harm angels is because she thought she had already fallen before her eye was cut out. She thought the mere thought of questioning the system made her fall.

- Valentino has a major superiority complex, so he thinks he’s the one in charge of the Vees when in reality he’s the last person to be consulted on big decisions.

- Vox was a small local news reporter with dreams of going national. Unfortunately that never happened as he was killed by a falling set piece on live, making him more famous in his death than in his life.

- Sir Pentious had two sons when he was alive. One lived well into adulthood, the other died when he was barely a teen from typhoid or some other old timey disease. It’d be the same disease the Pent ends up dying from. Though not before he starts obsessing over how to cure it, his other son continues his work and ends up discovering the vaccine for it.

- Pentious was a snake’s oil salesman for most of his life.

- Nifty had a lobotomy in life

- If others hadn’t been there, the val and charlie would’ve ended much differently(she was ready to kill him before angie stopped her)

- Charlie has tried to cut her hair short(like pixie) multiple times but whenever she loses control of her powers it just grows back, the only loophole for some reason being and undercut or side cut. as long as the hair on the crown of her head is long it’s fine.

- Alastor’s mom was a teen mom; my brain says 13 or 14. Her parents kicked her out after they found out she was pregnant forcing her to become fully dependent on her (now) husband. They had a shotgun wedding and a really tumultuous marriage. His dad left them both when he was 5 or 6. He also isn’t an only child though i’m not sure if he has a younger sibling or older. probably younger.

- Husk’s actual name is Jack, it’s part of his deal with Alastor that his old name was sold to Alastor. Him and anyone who knew him as Jack have completely forgotten it, they know his past but think he’s always been Husk. I’d like to think if he or anyone else rediscovers his name the deal would broken, kind rumplstisken vibes.

- Quite a lot of the sinners had kids in life, most of them assume that their kids ended up in heaven.

- Sir Pentious’ sons did end up in heaven and recognized him instantly and was elated to see his dad after so long.

[i-want-my-iwtv]

(Cont'd from here)

Anon asked:

5. Is a possible interpretation of the ending that Louis&Lestat are working together again? Lestat said he could go out again if he had Louis but Louis said he had to go. Lestat then somehow ends up going after the guy that Louis was just talking to? Obvi not a coincidence so maybe he's just following Louis…but what if he's doing what he said? He's going out again bc he has Louis. Louis set up Malloy; or at least did so only after his reaction to his story? Maybe a stupid theory lol. ^2/3 anyway, sorry to come at you with all these questions, I just can't find answers anywhere else. Loved the movie and would just like to understand it better. I also think Louis&Lestat could be working together again because if Louis has resigned to killing people to survive, which is all Lestat ever really wanted him to be, is there any real reason they can't be in eachother's lives anymore? Thank you so much for any time you can give me and my questions lol! ^3/3

No worries, these are interesting questions!

I mean, that's an interesting thought, that Louis set Daniel up for Lestat to feed on... 👀 Could be true, but based on the script and the books, and the fact that Louis never hunted with Claudia... (Louis does hunt with Lestat or other vampires on occasion later in canon) but I don't think Louis would send an innocent victim out for Lestat to kill*.

I think in the movie version of the story, my interpretation was that:

Lestat had been following Louis for a while.

When Louis and Daniel went indoors, Lestat crawled into the open backseat of Daniel's car, conveniently parked nearby. This way, he could listen to them talk (the window was open!) and it put Lestat in place for acquiring the tapes of the interview afterward (and the car! And some human blood!).

In the movie's timeline, Louis had visited Lestat in NOLA (we don't know when, but based on Louis's clothing, it looks like late '80's or early '90's) and then left him there...

We don't know how much time passed until he met with Daniel, San Francisco looks like the late '80's or early '90's, too.

So maybe Lestat went to great effort to track Louis down to San Francisco and followed him, still wounded but desperate to reconnect with Louis when he had revived with more strength.

I also think Louis&Lestat could be working together again because if Louis has resigned to killing people to survive,

Yes, Louis seemed to get over his issues with killing ppl when Claudia entered the picture, she never saw him eating rats.

Maybe he wanted to set a good example for her, or maybe he just finally agreed, having tried to kill her, that human blood is more nutritious for vampires... we don't know! Lestat makes some snip at Louis about eating rats in front of Claudia and he tells her it was a long time ago, before she was born, and "I don't recommend them," with this little slurp to amuse her:

because if Louis has resigned to killing people to survive, which is all Lestat ever really wanted him to be, is there any real reason they can't be in eachother's lives anymore?

But no, Louis & Lestat aren't clearly back together again at the end of the '94 movie, but at least Lestat is mostly revived by the very end, there's hope that he's going to be his old vibrant self in a new age, and maybe even turn Daniel! I don't know what the plan was for the next movie, but there was a sequel planned for a long time, the movie rights eventually expired. The more book-focused fans might say that Louis enjoys his space and doesn't need a constant lover, and that Lestat is somewhat of a manwhore who struggles with monogamy (maybe partly BECAUSE he can't get Louis to commit to him, so he goes out looking for love surrogates), but he always pines for Louis. Now matter how hard you ship Louis and Lestat you will never ship Louis and Lestat as hard as Lestat does. [X][X @high-fructose-lesbianism]

The more book-focused fans in VC fandom generally agree that Louis gave the interview in order to get his story out, and if Lestat was still alive, it could provoke him enough to come out of hiding** bc maybe Louis still has feelings for Lestat, but killing people was not the only reason they couldn't be in each other's lives. Louis suffered in the dynamic they were in during the 65 years together in IWTV. There's been a lot of writing on it over the years but most book-focused fans agree there was some level of abuse from Lestat to Louis (and Claudia), whether emotional, verbal, and/or physical. Lestat threatened them both with harm at different times, and he had been very secretive, which created frustration for Louis and Claudia about their nature as vampires, and even if Lestat did all this out of fear for their safety, or worry that they might leave him, or any other reasons, it was still Not Great, not something Louis would want to throw himself back into so easily!

If you read the books, Louis/Lestat has a tension as a ship that continues throughout, and Anne Rice basically tried to have them finally together in the last book. She had teased us about a L/L wedding over the years, and that never went through in canon. 😭💗

**And in the Vampire Lestat, Lestat does rise and he wants to join a rock band, when he tells them his name, they thought it was marvelous that he was pretending to be the vampire Lestat:

*In canon, Louis kills random people, so that he's not responsible for judging them as deserving of death, even murderers can serve their time and return to society! If Louis gets to know a victim at all, he has too much empathy for them to kill them. However, canonically and in the '94 movie, Lestat kills evildoers, it stems from him saving his village from wolves when he was alive, when he was praised for protecting the villagers and the livestock from those terrorizing wolves. It justifies his need as a vampire to kill, while also making him a kind of hero bc he's protecting the innocent ppl from the evildoers.

Killing evildoers takes more effort in some ways, bc Lestat has to read their minds first or see them be criminals in order to be sure they're really evil, but he enjoys it! Sometimes he spends weeks, months, years pursuing a victim.

Anyway, since Daniel's not shown in the '94 movie or canon to be an evildoer, I don't think Louis would feed him to Lestat.

[sk8termikey]

Chapter 9 of 21 Questions

better interface on wattpad

Lily loml🌻

Bro

The triplets 1st podcast is today

I’m so excited

It seemed awesome already from the trailer last week

I knooow

Kinda mad if it's every monday bc it’s my closing day

Sucks to be you

I love my day off even more now💃🏻💃🏻

Jk i’ll wait for you to watch it tonight like you do for the other vids

Thanks bestie😞

<33

Also the fact they’re gonna have guests is really cool

I really can’t wait to watch the first one

I know they probs have a few episodes recorded

But i hope it won’t be too much work for them now

Ye

3 vids a week

Esp nick who has to edit

Nick our king >>

Fact

Btw i might be home a bit earlier bc the café is kinda dead rn

Just the old couple that comes weekly and they’re almost done

So you won't wait much for me to watch the podcast

Yayy

The one together for 50 years?

I love those old ladies, they’re so cute

Fr and they always leave a huge tip

We don’t deserve them😞

Anyways see you in an hour or so ig

See you soon🫶🏻

When Alex put her phone back in her pocket, the “old ladies” as described by Lily were getting ready to leave. When they reached the counter, they both gave the blonde a sweet smile as one of them pulled out a bill from her wallet.

“The chocolate cake was delicious as always, but did you guys change anything?” One of the ladies asked.

“Yeah Lily did!” Alex knew that her friend would be excited to know that someone had noticed. “She tried adding some chocolate shavings before putting the cake in the oven.”

“Now I’m going to have a hard time deciding which one I like most, but it was as good as the usual recipe. You'll tell her that it reminds me of how my mum would make it”.

Alex couldn’t help the smile growing on her face. The couple had never once been rude to her and her other coworkers when they would come. Lily was always glad when they would compliment her food and it helped improve her self-confidence as chocolate desserts were basically the only thing Lily had mastered. Alex was really happy that she would be able to pass on the message to her friend.

Alex was finally able to close the café after the happy couple left and because the day had been a slow one, she had had time to clean little by little so that she didn’t have much left to do now.

~~~

When Alex arrived home, Lily was waiting for her on the couch. The TV was already set up on the Cut the Camera YouTube channel and some snacks were waiting for the two girls on the table. Alex told Lily to start the podcast as she would just be grabbing a can of Dr. Pepper in the fridge. As Lily did so and clicked on the video, the first out of many “Good morning Campers” from Nick Sturniolo could be heard in the house.

The podcast first started with Nick, Matt and Chris talking about looking alike, which is something that never bothered them much as they know that their viewers are easily able to differentiate them – even Lily could do it without problem by now.

As they then mentioned the fact that some pairs of best friends sometimes looked more alike than them, Lily and Alex exchanged a quick glance before laughing. Even though they had been friends since middle school, they had barely anything in common regarding their physical appearance.

The podcast kept dwelling on growing up as triplets, regarding the impact it could have on their friends but also the annoying comments they would always get from people. However, as they were mostly talking about the negative outcomes, they decided to start listing the positive aspects of growing up with two other people. Nick, Matt and Chris all agreed that being a triplet was the same as having built-in friends who were here for you at all times.

A couple of minutes later, Chris highlighted the support he always felt from his brothers and that the three of them being on the same page is something they all feel lucky about.

Then, as the topic of constant comparison was being tackled, Lily and Alex were quietly listening. The two girls felt very close to the triplets in the way that they were learning about their struggles. Them being so open about it was an opportunity to understand how the Life as Triplets was. What hit the hardest was the moment when Matt summarised the small conversation by explaining that no matter if it's about similarities or differences, people still find a way to compare them.

The podcast eventually finished on a more light-hearted tone as Nick, Matt and Chris were laughing about their high school experience when someone would meet one of them without knowing that they were a triplet. This would lead to them pretending to be one another just for a two seconds conversation in the hallways – and then at the end of the day, debriefing who came up to talk to each of them.

“I just loved it so much, oh my god!” Alex exclaimed as the video ended.

“Me too, like– I absolutely adore the Wednesday and Friday videos but this type of content is so refreshing I don't know”, Lily agreed with her friend. “I feel closer to them, make it make sense I guess”.

“I get you don’t worry, I know we’re gonna have another perspective of their lives and they’re gonna enjoy giving it to us as much as we’re gonna enjoy learning about it.”

“Exactly like…” Lily thought for a few seconds, “an inside point of view of not only the Sturniolo Triplets but simply Nick, Matt and Chris as people, just individuals. This is what they're trying to make people realise, they're not only triplets – even though that's a bit of their brand I guess – but they are also their own person.”

The two girls were just really excited to see more of this new project from the triplets, although Alex had to share some semi bad news:

“However, I have no idea if I’ll have the motivation to watch an hour of podcast every Monday when I come home from work”.

“Oh yeah, I understand”. Lily put a comforting hand on Alex’s shoulder while trying to find a solution. “Just pick a day and we’ll catch up at that time!”

“I mean, I might not even watch it weekly if I’m honest so– I won’t mind and it might actually be best that you watch them whenever you want like when they come out if that’s what you prefer and I’ll postpone my ‘watch podcast sessions’ until I have enough attention span to listen to them for a whole hour”, Alex explained.

“If that’s okay with you yeah I’m fine with that”, Lily let out a smile. “We’ll still have to discuss it obviously”.

“Of course”, Alex immediately agreed. “Lots of new info we’ll have to talk about!”

What they didn’t know yet is that watching the next podcasts on their own would finally enable Lily to choose her favourite triplet as she would realise that one of them might be a bit too relatable for her taste, and maybe a tiny bit too attractive on camera.

Thank you for reading. Votes and comments are always appreciated if you like this story :) The story is co-written w @/little_grapejuice on wattpad

[aita-blorbos]

AITA for abandoning my WIP?

Hello everyone! You'll have to forgive me if this is a bit awkward... I am a writer and cosplayer, but nonfiction is really not one of my talents!

So umm... I started this project, some months ago. A real masterpiece! You see, I'm actually pretty internet-famous for my earlier works, so this time I tried something a bit more... exciting. To raise the stakes and add to the delicious drama of it all, I decided this latest project would use real people.

Aaaah, and they were absolutely perfect! I wrote up incredible backstories for them all, and I even added an artificial intelligence unit that my best friend put together for a touch of extra realism (the illusion of an audience was crucial for this project, so the AI predicted "votes" and "chat responses" based on commentary on my previous projects)! Then, finally, I wiped their memories and replaced them with my own writing, set them up in my ultimate fictional world, and watched their real, authentic decisions play out! I, and my best friend, participated in this project, but I did have to wipe her memory along with everyone else's... or else she'd remember building this virtual world machine! And that just wouldn't do.

So, well.... The first few tries were a little bothersome to work with. No matter how hard I tried to tweak their personalities and give them motives, they always ran out of time and left me having to reset! But, ah... I knew from the start that working with real dolls would have its challenges. That's where the stakes are! If I could just overcome this, it would be the best death game ever written!

So eventually, when my beloved first protagonist actually made an attempt to kill... and failed... I stepped in and finished the job. Just a little bug in the system, not a big deal. And from there, it was absolutely perfect! Death after death after death, everything lining up exactly as it should. The perfect drama, the perfect despair, exactly as it should be!

I continued to moderate from within the game, and luckily, no one even tried to kill me! Though, my self-insert was simply a boring old plain jane, so it's not exactly surprising....

There were a few tough spots... and right when I thought the project was tying itself up for a beautiful finish, one of my players somehow ended up convincing the AI to release us, and send us back to reality.

Now... everyone is quite mad at me for placing them in my incredible fictional reality. None of them are certain who they are, or which of their memories are real, and normally I would simply overwrite their memory and start over again, but... here is where I might be TA....

I believe that one of the characters I've written, as played by a very beautiful and talented person, has taken my heart. She was one of the first to be killed, but instead of anger like everyone else, she held my face and told me that her god has forgiven my sins!

Aaaah! I can't help but squee just thinking of it! How can one person be so talented, so beautiful, so charming?! The way I'm feeling, I might as well be a yuri protagonist!

So, well... now I'm reluctant to start over. This girl is technically a character of my own creation, or at least her memories are. But after so much effort, and sacrifice, and torment endured by the other 14 participants... WIBTA if I give up on my project to elope with this girl?? She wants to lead a cult in my name, which I find just sooooooo romantic and hard to turn down!! But should I instead press onwards, and continue writing my perfect story??

[submitted by @mx-shingujis based on a canon-deviant au fic idea that I will probably never get around to writing!]

[peachysooxo]

Hi there! I really love your work! Thank you for working so hard to create an amazing fanfic for us 🫶🏻. I have a request for you. Since I'm a typical person who finds comfort in angst stories, could you please write an angst story about Kyungsoo based on his song 'The View'? Thank you very much!

Answer: when I got this request I literally SCREAMED. Thank you @sooadorable for the request! I have been writing a series and wondered how I could introduce it, and this is the best way because it lines up with the story perfectly! The series is entitled “Romantic Universe”, which contains 4 standalone intertwined stories featuring Kyungsoo, Chanyeol, Jongin and Baekhyun. I have been writing Kyungsoo’s for over a year and this is the product. I hope you enjoy this, thank you so much for the request and all of your support! Dividers by @saradika-graphics

The View

genre: angst, drama, Kyungsoo!AU, EXO!AU, romance

word count: 2,011

theme: marriage in trouble, lovers to enemies, separation, impending divorce, broken heart

warnings: use of alcohol, cursing, mentions of self harm, implied smut, sad kyungsoo, depressed kyungsoo

summary: Kyungsoo is separated from his wife and finds comfort in a bottle of Tennessee Whiskey and old home movies as he tries to figure out what to do with the divorce papers he was served. Based off of his song, “The View”.

I stare out into the vast open sky from my living room floor, the sunset paints beautiful colors that canvas the atmosphere above the rolling waves of the Pacific Ocean. I can get lost in moments like this, the times where my head is completely clear and I take in everything around me.

Slowly, effortlessly, the yellows become the golden flecks in her gorgeous eyes. The wind is her touch, soft and sends chills down my spine. The reds are her lips when she gets ready for date nights, putting on lipstick just for me. Even though she didn’t need it, she looked so spectacular in that shade of red. The waves are the promises we made, consistently rolling back to me to remind me that I failed to keep so many. Being here in this kind of scene just isn’t the same without her.

I watched my wife, Mila, walk out of the door and never turn back due to my own stupidity. I haven’t slept well since she left. I haven’t been able to eat on some days. Nothing in my life feels right anymore.

Our vacation home in Malibu looks out onto the shore, for the times we needed to get away from it all and spend time together. Tonight is my last night here before I have to fly back to New York to finish my album and I wish I could stay here longer. It’s the closest thing that I have to being with her.

Everywhere I turn, there’s pieces of Mila in every single thing. She’s in the clouds, the wind, the moon that grows brighter and brighter by the second. The last six months have been hell without her.

Watching old videos of us together has to be a form of self harm, but this is the only way I can see her smile. My eyes are glued to the screen as memories play out from different points in our relationship. From moving in to our first apartment together after we got married. From traveling to Korea to see my family. Waking up in Spain on our European tour together to staying up late in the studio to our honeymoon. I’ve replayed the honeymoon videos over and over, mesmerized as the events play out on screen. We were so young, Mila was 20 and I was 22. I need to be honest with myself, it wasn’t a honeymoon… It was our elopement at Mila’s grandparent’s ranch in Mexico. We stayed in the guest house on the ranch, and it was the happiest we’d ever been.

"Come here." My voice whines from the TV.

"No! Why are you recording us? It’s so weird!" Mila giggles. I grab the phone and the focus is Mila sitting with her leg tucked under her with cheeks tinted pink.

"Look at you, Angel." I breathe, calling her by her nickname. “You’re so gorgeous and you just woke up.”

“Soo!” Mila blushes. She tries to cover her face but I won’t let her.

“Don’t hide your gorgeous face from me.”

The engagement ring and wedding band on her left hand glimmers on screen. The rays of morning light filter into the room and it can’t even compare to her smile. She didn’t need to try at all, she just naturally glowed. I love it when she’s this way, no makeup, hair down and only wearing my t shirt.

I pull Mila by her waist into the frame and kiss her, my arm protectively still around her. I tease her by tracing her lips with mine and smile between kisses, placing her into my lap. I lean and prop the phone on the bedside table and we're in full view on the bed. Mila’s hands run through my hair, something she did when we’d be intimate like this. Her smile fades as she wraps her arms around my neck.

“Soo… I’m worried. I’m scared that us running off and getting married is going to make things worse with my father and brother.” Mila expresses. I press my forehead against hers, holding her tight in my arms.

"Listen to me. No matter what happens, my heart is yours. Angel, we’re married. Nothing can separate us. Not Sungho, not Chanyeol, no one. I know that we both took a risk when we didn’t tell Chanyeol that we were just dating. He’s your brother and my best friend. I can’t imagine how hard it was for you to keep that from your brother. You’re everything to me, my best friend, my life. All I care about is that you’re happy with this decision. They’ll come around, we just have to give it time.” I say lowly.

Mila nods her head, her hands glide down my shoulder to my forearms.

“I hope Chanyeol will come around, him and I are close and I never expected he’d react in the way he did. With my father… He may take longer but it’ll be okay. I’m beyond happy. This feels so right, yeobo.” Mila smiles again, and it’s a personal victory that she’s glowing again. “I just… Don’t know how I feel about you filming us in bed. It’s kind of…”

“Jagiya, stop. This is for our memories. This is our honeymoon. I had to document just how gorgeous you are when you wake up in the morning. You make the world around you envious.” I whisper, caressing her face.

"This is like a dream. I don’t want to go back to reality.” Our eye contact is strong, it never deviates from one another. I run my fingers through her hair and cup her face in my hands.

We fall into a deep kiss, molding ourselves to each other. We break slowly and a fire is ablaze in her eyes, full of want. She pushes me down onto the bed, I roll over until I’m on top of her.

“Look at me, Angel.” I straighten her gaze back to me by guiding her jaw back to face me. I lean down and kiss her velvety soft lips, my hand slides down to her throat. Her soft whimpers fill the room as my lips roam her jaw and down her neck. I stop at her shoulder and smirk into the camera.

“Mila, you’ll never forget this.” I say into the camera and nip her collarbone. She shrieks and holds onto me tighter. Before we go further, Mila grabs the phone and laughs.

“Nice try, Mr. Doh.”

We laugh and she cuddles into me, stopping the recording. I turn the TV off. Seeing my wife smile like that is something I haven’t seen in a long time. Tears threaten my eyes as the moon glows brighter. I can’t even remember when I started drinking or how I got halfway done with my bottle of Tennessee Whiskey. Now there’s nothing left but reminders that she’s not mine anymore. I shouldn’t have been working so much, prioritizing everything else over her, or even worse… I shouldn’t have been such a jealous monster. Being young and stupid, I’d bubble over with jealousy if a man just as much as gazed at her.

To be fair, Mila is a beautiful woman inside and out. She’s so selfless, humble and never afraid to be herself. Mila is known around the world for her music, to say she’s talented is an understatement. Watching her onstage is like a dream, she bursts to life when she performs. The entire world gets to see the woman that I am so proud to call her my wife.

Her physical beauty is just a bonus. Her sun kissed skin seems to glow, her plump lips framed her adorable smile perfectly, I could lose myself in her gorgeous eyes if I could. Her body is a gift from God, effortless curves that would hypnotize me the moment she’d walk into a room. She came right out of my dreams, everything about her is perfect.

It was never a secret that men pined over her and how gorgeous she is. I never checked my jealousy, something she never deserved.

I was certain every man she came across fantasized about her and wanted her the way I wanted her. I was so certain that it made me crazy. It was so bad that we started to fight all of the time and she finally had enough.

I open the sliding glass door to listen to the waves. The warmth from the whiskey offsets the cold night air, I wait for Mila’s arms to hug me into her embrace and when it doesn’t come, my heart splinters. I handled winter and spring without her, but summer reminded me how much worse it is that we’re separated. How she takes shape in the view.

“Mila… I miss you…” I whisper into the night air. The stars and moon start to sway and my vision clouds over. I rub my temples and turn my back to the ocean, glancing over at the divorce papers on the counter. I wrecked my brain relentlessly over what made Mila want a divorce. I didn’t cheat on her, I didn’t ever lay a hand on her and I didn’t lie to her or kept anything from her.

We could work on our problems easily, if she’d just allow it. Our last fight was the worst one, I can’t even remember what words were exchanged but that didn’t matter. What haunted me was that I made her cry. Something I swore I’d never do. I wanted to fix it and Mila wanted nothing to do with me.

Divorce papers.

This is not how I expected our relationship to end. I didn’t want it to end at all. I have to prove it to her that I’m going to change… Once the room stops spinning…

I stumble back and collapse onto the couch, closing my eyes to continue the memory the week we spent together on the ranch when we got married. Mila and I were in bed, cuddled up during one of our late nights. Mila’s fingers dance across my chest, her eyes heavy with fatigue.

“Promise me something, Soo.” She whispers.

“Yes, Angel?”

“Promise me that no matter what happens, we’ll never give up. We’ll never separate. Even if times get difficult, I don’t want to give up.” Mila pleads with her eyes.

“I promise you, Mila. I’ll never give up on you or us. If we somehow get lost or strained… We’ll fix it. I’ll fight for you until the very end, that’s my promise to you.” I reply, kissing her forehead.

“I’ll fight for you too. I’ll fight for us. This is different… Marriage is so different from just dating. You and I are in this together for life. I know I’m stubborn. I know I’m difficult to deal with, I’ll do better.” Mila smirks. I laugh and pin her under me, my forearms are on either side of her head.

“Your attitude is very easy to deal with. You’re a brat sometimes but it’s nothing I can’t handle.” I laugh, kissing her slowly. “But you’re mine, whether you like it or not.”

“I love it. I love you.” Mila smiles. “Our promise is sealed with a kiss, isn’t it?”

I kiss her mouth and cheeks, nodding. “Of course it is, Angel.”

The memory fades from my head. Everything she said that night resounds in my head. I can’t sit her and feel sorry for myself and drink myself to death anymore. She made me promise her that I’d fight for her, and that we’d never separate. It’s my fault she pushed away, it’s my fault she doesn’t want to be near me. I have to fight for her, I have to keep my promise.

The first thing I decided to do is not sign the papers. If Mila wants a fight, that’s what she’s going to get. I can’t take her just being a memory that I can see in the world around me. She has to see that she is my world. She’s my view.

[frodothefair]

New OC for Expats, let's go!

Ok, this wasn't even that hard! I was in the shower, and came up with a character sketch for my movie-star OC for Expats. What do you think? (Any similarities to real people, living or dead, are purely incidental).

Meet Elliot James. He is a Hollywood actor who got his start as a child star, but came to prominence when he appeared in a fantasy epic loosely based on events in early Medieval Britain, where he played a sweet, heroic squire who saved the day, but ended up giving his life in the process. Afterwards, he became a household name and in demand for everyone's epic or period piece anywhere, and while this was certainly very nice, it was somewhat disappointing to be typecast, so he tried to seek out other roles -- in indie films, horror movies, and genre cinema.

In rapid succession in his early 20's, he played a sick WWI veteran in a period piece with a plot like Flowers of Mordor, a prince in the medieval French history franchise Les Rois Maudits, a young Louis XIV, King Francis in a movie about Mary Queen of Scots (ok, yes, a lot of Frenchness here), and Nikolai Rostov in War and Peace. He also played Pip in Great Expectations, and Link in a cinema franchise of Legend of Zelda, and was one of the brothers in a multi-season Regency-era show similar to Bridgerton. He came to see his period piece and fantasy work as a "Jury duty" of sorts, but did it to please the fans and because he had some difficulty saying no. In the end, however, he put his foot down, and instead of taking the role of Jim Hawkins in Treasure Island, which he was all but being bribed to do, he insisted on auditioning for Blind Pew and Israel Hands.

Why does he get typecast playing young literary and historic characters, you may ask? Well, this is because after age 20, he looks like he essentially stopped aging. He is also short and slightly built, and looks like he stepped off a renaissance painting. He has striking hazel eyes that look like liquid gold, and naturally curly dark blonde hair.

In terms of personal history, he hails from South Dakota, from a long line of ranchers and early settlers to the area of Swedish and German extraction. (Hello, inspiration from Mr. Nisilë's white heritage). His mother raised him and his sister alone, and he has a very loving, down-to-earth and supportive family of origin. However, work as a child actor gave him a lifelong hair-pulling habit, to the point of trichotillomania at times, and he is completely unable to grow a beard of his own as a result.

In his personal life, he gets together with a fan named Marina who is an immigrant from Ukraine and has both Ukranian and Russian heritage. They connect over his upcoming work on War and Peace, and impending trip to Eastern Europe to film it. (This is obviously well before the present day). During his (very ample) free time, Elliot enjoys collecting and listening to vinyl records, attending live concerts, traveling as incognito as he realistically can with his distinctive looks, and watching off-off-Broadway plays (or whatever the LA analog is for this). Ironically, he has never been in a play himself, except for a school play at a very young age.

With his girlfriend and later wife, he is a total sweetheart, and his mental illness helps him understand hers. He is also a complete and utter goofball, slightly disorganized in his household and self care, and unassuming and slightly awkward whenever the cameras are off. The weirder the topic of conversation with him, the better.

His partner, Marina, works as a medical malpractice lawyer who defends doctors, and has a crazy, domineering mother who both loves and dislikes Elliot, and belittles his work behind his back, comparing him to old Soviet actors who she thinks are the true greats. However, she has no qualms about accepting gifts and financial assistance from him. (Guess who this is based on, haha).

Elliot never went to college himself, but he paid for the college education of his sister and Marina's law education. The only thing he asked for in return was that Marina and his sister share the particularly interesting things they learned whenever they could.

What do you think?

@konartiste @emmanuellececchi

[austinsmutler]

Dancing in the Dark | Austin Butler x Reader | One Shot

Summary: Reader is having a hard time with her mental health and Austin wants to comfort her.

Pairing: Austin Butler x Reader

Word Count: 797

What you’ll like: This one is heavy on the hurt/comfort and emotional intimacy. Austin understands what you're going through with your mental health and I hope it's healing to read.

Warnings: Big ol' trigger warning for those of you struggling with your mental health. Reader is going through a hard time with depression and anxiety in this. There is no mention of self-harm, suicide or any of that, but she's having thoughts and insecurities that go hand-in-hand with a mental health crisis. Brief mention of alcohol.

If the above is something you can't deal with right now, don't worry! Look after yourself first and read Everyday instead- it's a soft, fluffy AustinxReader oneshot with 0 trigger warnings!

A/N: Not gonna lie, my mental health hasn't been great lately. But knowing that Austin Butler can be as confident as Elvis, rolling around onstage like a ferret in heat in front of hundreds of people, and then go on Jimmy Fallon and shake from anxiety? That helps.

I hope this helps you, too.

Listening to Dancing in the Dark by Bruce Springsteen is also great.

Masterlist | Requests are currently open (Please tell me everything you want! Confess your sins! Have a good time with it!)

“What do you say to yourself, in those moments?”

Austin’s question came as a surprise. You were laying together on the couch with him watching TV and you reading a book, head on his lap. His fingers played with your hair, but stopped when you stiffened up.

“What moments?” You tried not to freak out, but your heart betrayed you by leaping to your throat. You closed the book you’d been mindlessly enjoying just a minute before, but didn’t look up to meet your boyfriend’s eyes.

“You know. Those moments.”

You did know. Those moments came like contractions, getting closer and closer together until the pain was overwhelming; but you weren’t pregnant. You were just depressed. And it was getting worse. Austin noticed it first, when you started sleeping in all day on weekends and stopped doing the little things like loading the dishwasher and folding your clothes, which stayed in a pile of clean-and-dirty in the corner of the bedroom. Other people were starting to notice the way you clung to your wine glass at dinner parties, making sure it never emptied. Work was starting to notice little mistakes that were ‘very unlike you’ according to your manager. Put simply: you weren’t okay. 

“Why are we talking about this now?” You muttered, fingernails digging into the spine of your book, leaving crescent indents in the glue there. Great, now I’ve ruined the book too.

“Because I’m worried. You’ve been reading that same page for 30 minutes now.”

“It’s got some big words in it.”

Even without looking, you knew the expression on Austin’s face. The one that said, Come on, talk to me. A sigh boiled over the back of your throat and escaped, like you were an air mattress slowly deflating. When you finally met his eyes, they were soft. The same blue eyes you fell in love with. His fingers rubbed soothing circles on your scalp, playing with your hair. 

“I don’t know. I can’t control it. I know it’s stupid and not true, but I believe it anyway. I’ll tell myself I’m dumb, and ugly, and ungrateful and boring. Then my brain opens a whole filing cabinet of things I’ve done wrong, everything from yesterday to a decade ago.” 

You swallowed and closed your eyes, not wanting Austin to look at you. “When I was six years old, I made my baby sister cry because I pinched her cheek too hard. That’ll just pop into my mind, and it won’t leave. I’ll think, how could I do that? Why did I do that? Then I’ll blame myself for feeling guilty, because what normal person blames themself for something they did when they were still a toddler?”

Austin tilted your chin so you were looking up at him again. His expression was gentle; curious. 

“In your defence, Rosie does like to push your buttons.”

You laughed, the sound coming out strangled from your choked-up throat. 

“How are you feeling about your appointment?”

Therapy. You’d been before, and you’d go again- this Sunday, in fact. 

“Alright.” You swallowed. The tightness of your throat was starting to ease, even if your stomach still churned like a meat-grinder. “I know this stuff isn’t meant to be a straight line.”

“It never is.” He sighed. 

Austin had his own experiences- he hadn’t slept for two years while he filmed Elvis, waking up in the middle of the night and going downstairs to watch old interviews, read old books. You’d wake up and find him with dark circles under his eyes, mumbling quotes in a voice that wasn’t really his. It was haunting to watch the man you loved go through so much stress. Then the movie came out, everyone fell in love with him, but the stress stayed. Muted, but visible in the way his hands shook on Jimmy Fallon, at press events, even when you were hand-in-hand on the red carpet. 

“But it does get better, right?” No matter how little sleep he’d had, Austin always seemed to deal with it better than you. Even on the days when you found him with red eyes, shaking, curled into a ball with an Elvis concert playing on his laptop, he still had remarkable control of himself. He rarely took it out on you, and he never gave up trying. He slept soundly nowadays, the two of you wrapped tight together in bed until the early hours of every morning.

“It does. You learn to live with it.” Austin leaned down to press a kiss to your forehead. “I’m proud of you for getting help.”

“Thank you.” You’d been together so long it was easy to forget how much you loved hearing those words, most feelings expressed through actions and shared looks instead of words.

I’m proud of you.

[otherworldseekers]

Something's Gotta Give: chapter 6 part 1

This has been a long time coming but for some reason I've just really struggled getting words out. Anyway, this is the First Kiss scene so please enjoy.

Picking up from the previous chapter, Severia and Nero are still at the Gold Saucer Charity Gala. Godbert Manderville has decided to auction a dance with Severia to raise money without her permission or knowledge causing Severia to panic. Nero leads her out of the ballroom to look for a place they can escape to without being observed for a little while.

Something's Gotta Give Masterpost

Severia picked up her skirts and together they raced up the stairs. Nero tried the first two doors but only found a broom closet and then a lavatory. Then he tried the third. It led out onto a wide balcony overlooking the vast starlit deserts of Thanalan from a considerable height. But it looked safe enough. Hopefully no one would think to look for them here. Nero closed the doors and leaned back against them. For a few minutes they stood side by side, fingers still woven together. 

“Are you all right?” Nero asked. 

“I think so,” she said, as her thumping heart slowly calmed. She looked down at their clasped hands, the embarrassment of it warring with her desire just then for the comfort of his presence. 

Nero broke the contact, putting his hands in his pockets, and strolling over to take a seat on the railing around the balcony.  “That old man certainly has some gall.”

“You don’t have any idea,” Severia said with a sigh. “The Mandervilles are… not generally bothered by mortal concerns. And to be honest, I’m more than a little afraid of him.”

“You?” 

“Yes, me,” Severia said with a half-hearted laugh. “I’m afraid of all kinds of things.” Wrapping her arms around herself, Severia walked out towards the balcony’s far edge and turned her face up to the moon. 

Nero felt enchanted by the sight. His eyes traced the lines of her bare shoulders, the expanse of her tantalizing back, the subtle curve of her hips beneath the silken dress, all limned by moonlight. Something about the way she looked, framed against the night sky, took his breath away. Without her armor and weapons, without the hat she always hid beneath, she looked very fragile, like something out of a dream. He had the urge to hold onto her so that she wouldn’t disappear, to embrace her and feel her realness, to take all her fears away and make her look only at him. And when her head tilted back in his direction, her eyes shining in the night like two red stars, he found himself breathless at her beauty. 

“Gil for your thoughts, Nero?” she asked him. 

“Hero, I am insulted. My thoughts are worth far more than 1 gil.”

Severia turned to face him squarely, her arms crossed over her chest. “The value of a product is determined by what the market is willing to pay. Since I am the market, you’ll have to give me some kind of evidence that their value exceeds my offer.”

“Very well, but you asked for it,” Nero said with a wry smile. “I was thinking that I want very badly to kiss you right now.”

Severia took a startled step backward. “W- what?”

Nero chuckled in amusement. “Surely you are familiar with the concept of a kiss?”

“Of course I am!” she retorted. “It’s just not at all what I expected you to say!” Her cheeks flushed prettily. 

“I see. Then you are not necessarily averse to the suggestion?”

“I mean… in theory… But I’ve never… never…” 

Nero’s eyebrow rose in surprise. “Never been kissed? I find that hard to believe.”

“I’ve never wanted to be kissed,” Severia said in self defense. “I don’t see the point.”

“The point, my dear hero, is that the sensation is extremely pleasant.”

“Is it?”

“Yes.”

“Oh.”

“Would you like to see for yourself?”

Severia’s mouth gaped. The audacity of the man! Did he really think she was that easy? Only… only now she found her gaze going to his lips, curved into his trademark smirk, and wondering, for the first time, what they might feel like. 

“Possibly… Possibly I might be interested in seeing what all the fuss is about. As an experiment.”

Nero grinned. “Excellent. I offer myself as your test subject.”

“Right now?” she asked weakly. 

“No time like the present for a little experimentation. Wouldn’t you agree?” He took a few steps closer to her, hands safely tucked into his pockets, slowly so as not to startle her too much. She looked alarmed, but she didn’t retreat. He considered that a positive sign. He watched as her eyes darted around, unsure but considering. 

Then she answered in a soft voice. “All right.”

Nero felt his heartbeat quicken. He hadn’t actually expected her to accept. He’d thought this flirtation would end in the typical impasse. She still looked uncertain, but also interested. He needed to proceed carefully. When he had managed to close the distance between them, he reached out to tilt her head back and make her lips accessible. It wasn’t the first time he’d found himself studying her lips, wanting to touch them. He let his thumb run over her luscious lower lip.

Under his heated gaze Severia felt her reticence transform into a sharp ache of desire. “What are you waiting for?” she whispered. 

“Impatient are we?” Nero teased. “The anticipation is part of the experience.” 

“I’d rather just get it over with.”

“No confidence in my abilities?”

“Should I have? You seem to be stalling.”

Perhaps he was. Some part of him was inexplicably nervous. It’s just a kiss, he told himself. And she’s just a woman. But he felt the lie as soon as he thought it. Severia Zetsuen was like no one else and he wanted her like he’d never wanted anyone else before. 

Before he could continue wavering, Nero leaned over her and brushed his lips softly against hers. A fleeting touch, but a promise of more, if she wanted. She met his gaze as he pulled back, looking thoughtful. 

“Is that it?” she asked, eyes wide and innocent. 

Only she could make such a palpable hit to his ego. “Not enough for you?” Nero said in exasperation. 

“From the way people talk I just expected something more… spectacular.”

Nero ran a hand through his hair. If she let him, he would show her spectacular. “I was trying not to take any liberties. Naturally not all kisses are equal. There’s the question of length, of pressure, and what other parts of the body become involved, among other things. If you would like to approach this in a scientific fashion, I am more than willing to demonstrate all of the above.”

“What do you mean, other parts of the body?” 

He had to remind himself to take these revelations slowly. There were things she was by no means ready for. “A kiss does not involve the lips alone. One is generally touching one’s partner in other ways during a kiss. For instance, I might wrap one arm around your waist and use the other to cradle your neck. All these points of contact provide additional levels of sensation.” Nero acted out his words, pulling her close against his body before leaning over her. The difference in their sizes was an interesting obstacle to overcome, he’d never been with anyone so small before, but he found that he enjoyed it. The way she looked up at him, eyes shining and lips slightly parted in expectation…

Where the first kiss had been light as a whisper, this one swept through Severia like a spring breeze; fresh, new and invigorating. Nero’s lips were both firm and unexpectedly tender against hers. And they lingered. The first kiss had been brief as a breath, but now Nero gave himself time to relish the softness of her lips before he pulled away. 

“I see what you mean,” Severia said when they had parted, sounding slightly dazed. “That was very different.”

“Did you like it?”

Her eyes fixed onto his chest as she mumbled her response. “Um… I think… perhaps… That is… it was…”

“Well, if you’re uncertain, we can try again. I wouldn’t want to leave your curiosity unsatisfied.”

“You think you just get to kiss me as many times as you want?” Severia protested instinctively.

“No, I think I get to kiss you as many times as you want me to,” said Nero smoothly, cupping her cheek in his palm so that she couldn’t look away. “You do want me to, don’t you, Severia?”

She wanted to say “no” and wipe that smug look off his face. If she had been at all uncertain she would have. But it was too blatant a lie. She was hooked on the tantalizing promise of more contact, more sensation, more of Nero’s lips and hands. And it was with a sudden shock that she realized she couldn’t have done this with anyone else. That as much as the man angered and exasperated her, he attracted and excited her in equal measure. He made her want things she never had before. 

The thought frightened her and for a moment she almost managed to pull away. But she remembered Nero’s words from earlier… For just tonight, I am only Nero and you are only Severia… Then perhaps, just for tonight, she could allow herself these desires. Tomorrow she could go back to being the Warrior of Light and he could go back to being a questionable ally. Tonight they could simply be two people seeking the pleasure of each other’s company. 

Letting herself relax against him, Severia moved her hands to grip the lapels of his jacket. “You’re very annoying when words are coming out of your mouth,” she said as she pulled his head back down towards her. 

“You’d like me to use it for something else?” Nero smirked, his lips just ilms from hers. 

“Shut up and kiss me.”

Nero didn’t need to be told twice. His arms tightened around her as he captured her lips, eliminating any chance of escape. Gently, he coaxed her lips apart so he could taste her more deeply and, gods, she was delicious. Severia released a delighted little gasp. 

“Nero…” Severia’s hands moved up around his neck. How she longed to be able to touch him, to feel his skin under her fingers. The brief glimpse of his body the day before taunted her. She mentally cursed men’s fashion for covering him from neck to toe while she was so inequitably exposed. 

When her fingers curled into the back of his hair, Nero broke the kiss with a rough moan that thrilled through her in ways she couldn’t describe. Up onto her tiptoes she went, reaching to return his kiss as best she could. She didn’t want him to pull away. Not yet. 

But the insufferable man was not done talking. 

“My, my,” he purred. “It would seem you don’t dislike me so much after all.”

Severia huffed in frustration, barely conscious of the fact that her hands still rested on his chest. “If you think this means you win that stupid bet you forced me into…”

Nero laughed. “You don’t think kissing me like that is evidence of a more favorable opinion?”

“What do you mean, ‘like that’?”

“I mean, oh scintillating Severia, that if this is really the first time you’ve done this, then those lips of yours are truly talented. I’m quite swept off my feet.”

“Well, that has nothing to do with me. I was merely curious.” Severia tried to gently pull away but he held onto her. She didn’t struggle. 

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sated?”

And something about the curve of his lips as he said it sent a rush of heat through her body. But it dissipated just as quickly and she shivered. Nero’s lips turned downward. 

“You must be cold,” he said. “Here.” He took off his jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. 

Severia clung to the lapels of the jacket, grateful that he had forgotten his other question because she didn’t know how to answer it. Was her curiosity sated? Yes, amply. Was she sated? Her body was screaming ‘no’. Every fiber of her being wanted more, wanted to see what would happen next, wanted to surrender itself to him. His hands were resting lightly on her shoulders, but she couldn’t feel his skin through the jacket, and it was driving her crazy. He was driving her crazy. 

And yet, it wasn’t as if it was unpleasant, this feeling. She leaned her forehead against his chest as she teetered on the brink of saying things she would almost certainly come to regret. 

“Are you all right?” To her surprise there was nothing but concern in his voice. 

Severia took a deep breath. “I need to know… Why did you want to kiss me?”

There was a whole story in the way she spoke the words. This was a woman who had no idea of her own value. Who was somehow oblivious to the fact that she was intensely desirable. And how could that possibly be? How could such a beautiful, intelligent, extraordinary woman be so ignorant that she was worthy of adoration? 

Nero lifted her chin once more and cupped her cheek as she gazed up at him with wide eyes. “Have I not been obvious enough? Severia Zetsuen, how could I not want to kiss you?”

His lips began to descend toward her uplifted mouth once more and Severia felt her heart flutter in anticipation. But before contact could be made, the balcony doors crashed open and through them stepped Godbert Manderville.

[jensenismywholelife]

I can’t keep pretending

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: low self esteem, fluff

Summary: (Y/n) has loved Dean for years but could never share her feelings out of fear. Fear of rejection and embarrassment.

(Y/n) had loved Dean for years, but could never tell him because she didn't want to get her feelings hurt. She feared rejection, so almost no one knew about her feelings for him. Sam was the only one who knew how strong she felt for him, but she trusted that he’d keep it to himself. The brothers planned on going to a bar later in the night after finishing a hunt and they begged (Y/n) to come with them, but she lied to get out of it. She didn’t wanna watch Dean have his way with other women, it hurt her bad.

A few hours later, she was sitting on the uncomfy motel bed, watching some old stupid shows on the crappy tv that they had in the motel. The brothers came back and to her surprise, they didn't seem drunk, but that was very hard for her to believe, especially when it came to Dean.

"I thought you were tired" Dean said, dropping his keys on the table of the motel room.

"I am, but for some reason..I can't sleep" She said, lying again. If she were to let Dean know how she was really feeling..damn would she be hurt, it was obvious he didn’t feel the same.

"Hey i'll be right back, I left my bag in the impala" Sam said, walking quickly out of the motel room and to the car. He could tell they both needed some time alone.

"Hey (Y/n), Can we talk real quick?" Dean asked, sitting next to her on the bed.

"Yeah sure, what's up?" She said, turning the TV off and sitting up.

"So..this is out of nowhere I know, but for a while now I’ve had this weird feeling whenever you’re close to me or whenever I hear your name, or..i don’t know, anything about you. I guess..I never really understood why, but a year ago I did.” He smiled weakly and took her hands into his own “I love you (Y/n) and I can't keep acting like I don't feel anything between us because I do. I know..I probably waited to long to tell you, but I was nervous." Dean said.

She got off the bed and laughed while walking to the fridge. She grabbed a beer and popped the cap off, taking a sip. "How drunk are you?" She asked.

Dean got up and walked over to her. “Well uh..that’s not really the answer I was expecting?” He scratched the back of his neck. “I’m not drunk (Y/n). Look, I understand this is random, but I felt something tonight, I felt so lonely without you near me”

"Yeah right" She said.

"You don't believe me?" Dean asked.

"No" She said.

"Why not" Dean asked. He got up and walked over to her “How could you not believe me? I just poured my heart out to you (Y/n).” He sighed softly and looked down at her.

"Because Dean..it's impossible for a guy like you to..love a girl like me" She said, looking down. She played with her fingers and avoided eye contact.

"How could you say that? Really.." Dean said.

"Dean i'm not like all the other girls you sleep with or find interest in. You like the blondes..the skinny girls with the perfect hips..the model looking girls. I get it..you probably found out I liked you and felt bad. Look you don’t have to do this ok? You don’t have to pretend because you feel bad for me.” She sighed.

"Look at my face and tell me if i'm lying to you" Dean said, lifting her chin and he stared right into her eyes, a slight smile growing on his face. Her (Y/e/c) eyes stared right back into his forest green ones. She couldn't say anything, he was just so damn perfect, it left her speechless. Before she knew it, he leaned in, put his hands on her hips and kissed her lips softly.

He then pulled her body flush against his and smiled. He tried pulling away, but she only pulled him back in for another kiss, running her hands through his soft, slightly spiked hair. After a few minutes, she pulled away and rested her forehead against his, her hands still lost in his locks and their bodies still pressed close together.

"I don't care if you don't believe me, I love you (Y/n)" Dean said, smiling softly.

"I-I love you, Dean" She said, a slight blush rising on her cheeks.

[rachelchinouriris]

i'm afraid to ask about what a 16-year-old you did 🧍‍♂️

oh boy

purposely skipped my first two hours of class and blamed it on living far away and having to wait for my parents when in reality i was just too lazy to go to class

had the worst friendship breakup of my life which started because i did not say hi to my ex friends and i promise you it was not out of bad blood, but i took the opportunity to leave them and tell them it was because i didn’t like them at all. proceeded to tell everyone who listened that they were the worst, but in my defense they didn’t treat me well, often put me down, spoke behind my back, and were probably friends with me out of pity, but i have to admit i was a bitter bitch and just wanted some kind of revenge

somehow managed to make my ex friend’s boyfriend break up with her because he developed feelings for me (there’s the revenge)

speaking of, had my first kiss with him and promptly told him we couldn’t be together because he was moving away, but in reality i kissed him because i wanted to prove to myself i only liked boys because i was falling for my girl best friend at the time. the kiss was really good and to this day i regret not only using him but not giving him a chance

oh and speaking of that kiss, we did it close to the staircase that lead to the second floor of the school, so while we were kissing my ex friends, including his ex girlfriend, saw us kissing. my other ex friend and i shared one class and let me tell you, it was the most awkward moment of my life, but because i was the worst and very very petty i kept smiling hard and happily sighing, and making sure she saw it

speaking of the skipping, the next year i got in so much trouble i was called multiple times to the deans office to the point they got sick of me. they asked me what the fuck was going on, and i just told them i hated their school and the people there. i managed to transfer to the other big school in the area

let’s end this in a good not shall we? after i transferred i started to behave better, made lots of friends, came to terms with my sexuality and started my gender identity journey, actually began apologizing when i fucked up and tried to make amends, made a film (no i’m not showing you), taught some foreign students english as part of my senior project (which in retrospect was what made me love teaching), and got along with my teachers

safe to say those years were kind of insane. i’m glad i’m not a teenager trapped in high school anymore, and i seriously would take my 16 year old self to therapy because she absolutely needed it, and i’m happy i’m going to therapy now because, as you can see, there’s A LOT of stuff to unpack

[uncommondumdum]

Reposting the Kai lore here just cause I can,, quick info/ other stuffs I forgot to add:

Kai is basically a Coyote fanboy oc that I made back in I think… August??

Yea.

Kai’s name was thought of from the way Coyote’s name was pronounced. The two sound very similar.

His full name is Kai Odie.

Kai was born on the 15th of the 5th. Idk what year tho.

Also some of my ocs timeline and Kai’s timeline aren’t the same,, there’s other timelines out there but they all still have zombies in them.

The timeline takes place before it died took place around the 1990s-2011.

Kai has also somewhat improved as a person,, he’s pretty chill nowadays…I guess. I mean,, less mean that’s for sure.

He beefs with ppl/things a lot tho,, it’s literally ez to get Kai to hate u,, u could be a Taylor Swift fan and he’d hate u for that. 😭

Kai is basically pretty friendly tho,, sure. He murdered a bunch of zombies and possibly people but that was out of self defence. He wouldn’t murder anyone on purpose, unless it’s Midnight Shadow or it’s someone that wants to harm him.

Kai wore glasses when he was a kid due to poor eye sight (not being able to see from distances) until he was a teen,, which he just started wearing contacts (even tho it’s semi dangerous to wear those) …this did somewhat give him the reputation of him being the “smart nerdy” guy but he later proved them wrong.

Kai’s also deaf as well,, he wears a hearing aid although it’s unnoticeable. He got this from putting his headphones on max volume and plus other people playing loud audio/screaming into his ear when he was a kid. O and he knows how to read lips as well and he knows sign language. (He didnt get the hearing aid until he was 17,, his parents thought he was deaf because of the fact he had a hard time hearing them directly unless they yelled sooo yea) Kai also just turned off his hearing aid whenever he didn’t want to hear sum however with the zombie apocalypse he kept that on 24/7 cause he didn’t want to risk not hearing sum and dying from it.

Kai also wears earrings, he used to wear black earrings but now he wears cherry earrings, the only reason why he’s wearing cherry earrings of all things is because of Coyote.

Kai actually also has a tattoo on his back where it’s just Coyote’s name in a rlly rlly fancy goth font. Forgot the name but yea. No one knows about it except for Coyote. They actually got the tattoo together and have matching tattoos.

Kai has average strength, sometimes it works out in his favour, sometimes it does not. Mainly depends on who he’s fighting though.

when Kais Mom first saw that Kai dyed his hair gave himself whatever that pink and blue thingy is called that covers his other eye she tried cutting it off however Kai just kept on refusing to do so, which ended up with him getting grounded and Kai’s Mom kept on trying to convince him to get rid of but no matter what she said he just kept it. Which,, made her rlly mad and her hatred for Kai only grew more and more the more she looked at him. Kai’s Dad however just didn’t care and eventually convinced Kai’s Mom to just let him do whatever he wants since he thought that if he was happy then he’d get better grades (very weird logic god damn) and so she did. But she still secretly hated him. (Kai’s Dad was also old and just simply did not give a fuck about what happened anymore. The Mom was also old but she had more care then the dad did.)

But however there was a deal,, Kai can keep the eye cover thingy if he only put it in a feminine ponytail or pigtail/kept the hair rlly long and he agreed. This deal was made by Kai’s Mom and she did it behind the Dads back.

O yea speaking of that,, during the apocalypse in his timeline, while he was asleep he was attacked by a zombie and he got half of his face infected. He was able to cure it tho. Gud thing it was where the eye cover thingy was so it’s ez to hide.

Anyways spoiler for night 3 under here

ok so the only thing that’s different here is that instead of Coyote being the traitor it’s Kai.

The deal in question (and betrayal) basically went like this:

Shadow:

“I’ll get u out of here if u help me make deep night strong and stuff.”

Kai:

“ok 👍”

(Literally after he meets Coyote and the others and night 3)

Kai:

“I change my mind I hate u I hope u die.”

[EXPLODES THE ENTIRE PLACE]

Now,, Kai didn’t intend or plan to explode the place on purpose. He wanted to keep the cabin in shape however with the way Midnight Shadow planned it all out he had no choice, he had to explode the place with what he had on him to try to kill Midnight Shadow.

When Murch found out that Kai betrayed him he basically just started hating on Kai and being a big meanie to him and Coyote had to go and defend him every time but that only just made Murch hate the both of them. Except,, not only is it hatred from the betrayal. It’s jealousy.

He secretly wants Coyote, but with Kai being there for Coyote more then he himself is. He grew jealous of him.

So yea.