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#she was very funny for this one it must be said
fluentisonus · 2 years
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t'pring standing next to both the only person ever to turn down a seat on the federation high council and a guy who famously turned down the vulcan science academy for starfleet: so speaking of turning things down-
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daenystheedreamer · 6 months
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team neutral and idont like/care for 90% of team black but ill defend rhaenyra with a gun so i identify with them ig
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sisterdivinium · 2 years
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Finding "the meaning" to a show that could have had up to five or seven seasons but was cancelled after the second is somewhat like trying to understand a novel composed of seventy chapters by having read only twenty — there is a whole wealth of information which we do not possess that could alter our reading of any given element or of the entire thing in itself.
Still, there are always patterns that weave a story into a cohesive unit and they can help us to better grope in darkness towards comprehension. One such pattern in Warrior Nun appears to be how the consequences to mistakes, "sins" or evil deeds committed by characters manifest.
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Basic storytelling usually requires characters to act on something so that complications or resolutions may arise from their choices and move the plot forwards. In Warrior Nun, many of these actions are quite tragic in nature: Suzanne's arrogance and pride lead to the death of her Mother Superion; Vincent's allegiance to the higher power he believed Adriel to be inspired him to kill Shannon; Ava's flight from the Cat's Cradle ends up damning Lilith as she is mortally wounded and taken away by a tarask... All of these events have negative outcomes and heavy repercussions on all characters directly or indirectly involved. Something changes permanently because of them, be it in the world around them or within the characters themselves.
And yet, it would seem that all of these dark deeds not only move the story forwards but might also have overall positive results. We would have had no protagonist without Ava — and she would arguably never have received the halo to begin with had she not been murdered. What's more, on a personal scale, the horrifying crime she suffers is, in the end, the very thing that allows her a second chance in life, a new life.
An act of outside evil permits Ava to grow and develop, shows her a path she would not otherwise have found. Without her own season in some sort of hell, Lilith would not have been able to advance towards other ways of being and understanding beyond her very strict limitations. Vincent and Suzanne would not have embarked on their own journeys of enlightenment without having caused the pain they are responsible for.
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Beatrice might have been paying for someone else's mistakes, but she, too, is given the chance to grow into herself through it. The afflictions that torment these characters advance the overall plot, but they also advance them, as individuals, as long as they are willing to learn and keep going despite the calamities large and small that they are faced with. Beatrice keeps going after parental rejection, Mary keeps going after losing Shannon, Jillian keeps going after losing her son (in part through her own actions, adding insult to injury)... Trouble and the adaptation that follows it, if one is open enough to learn from the experience, motivates the characters, propels them forward, teaches them.
The problem of evil has occupied the minds of many a thinker throughout the ages, given how the very existence of it, evil, might call into question that of God (a good, omniscient, omnipotent one, anyway). A common way of justifying suffering (and also God), then, is by claiming, as Saint Augustine, that "God judged it better to bring good out of evil than not to permit any evil to exist".
Now, it would be rather ridiculous to say of Warrior Nun that it follows in Leibniz's footsteps, also because this philosopher, expanding on the augustinian concept, attempted to defend the goodness of a real God with his "best of all possible worlds" while all we have is... Well, whatever/whoever Reya is.
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But there seems to be an inclination towards some sort of optimism as a worldview nonetheless.
Betrayals reveal truth and grant knowledge (Vincent's culminates with the coming of Adriel, which allows us to know of the threat of a "Holy War" and thus prepare for it; Kristian's gives Jillian much needed insight, William's lights up the fuse for the fight to be taken more seriously...), crimes committed willingly or not open the way for Ava (Suzanne's killing of her Mother Superion causes the loss of the halo, which is transferred to Shannon, whose death opens the gates for Ava to walk through after being herself murdered by sister Frances)... The magnitude of these positive outcomes is perhaps not "balanced" when compared to the evil that brings them about, but there is still something to take out of the catastrophe.
However tragic the tones of a given event, the show itself appears to shun the predetermination that makes tragedy as a genre; if everything is connected, here it at least appears to not necessarily drag everyone into their horrible dooms.
What's more is that this lurking "optimism" matches really well with our own protagonist's personality.
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And it makes perfect sense that Ava would do the best she could with whatever she is given.
Life for her, in the conditions she experienced after the accident, would have been unbearable without some sort of positive outlook on life. However deadpan, the joking and the "obscene gestures" and whatever other forms of goofing around beside Diego are a way of turning a portion of the situation in her own favour. Proverbial eggs have, after all, already been broken right and left — might as well make an omelette of whatever remains.
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Humour is just another way of looking at the bright side of something, or, at the every least, of mitigating the utter horror it might bring. If the show allows for moments of lightness, if it lets us laugh, if it takes us through a perilous voyage which still bears ripe, succulent fruit instead of the rot of pessimism and its necessary contempt for humanity, it is because Ava herself sees things in this way. It isn't gratuitous or naïve in this case, but a true survival strategy, especially as it is confronted with the morbidity of Catholicism.
Here is a religion that soothes its faithful with the promise of reward in the afterlife — how else does one charge into battle against the unknown, risking one's own death along with that of one's sisters, without the balm of believing that we shall all meet again eventually, "in this life or the next"? How else does one come to terms with the ugliness and the pain of this existence if not by looking forward to a paradise perfect enough to make all trials and tribulations here worth it?
True nihilism would have annihilated Ava. Her present perspective is what avoided the abyss.
And there is nothing Panglossian to her attitude or what the show might imply by giving us her view on things. This isn't about "the best of all possible worlds", but of making the best of whatever situation we're in, of taking what we have and doing something with it, something good, something of ourselves. It isn't God making good out of evil, but our choices.
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Killing innocent people and feeling no remorse will never be the best someone can aspire to do. Sister Frances, cardinal William, Adriel all learn this the hard way.
Those who do their best find that, somehow, they can move on from whatever it was that paralysed them. Ava, most of all, knows what it is to be stuck, frozen in place; she can never be the character who refuses to grow, even through pain, lest she condemns her spirit to the same fate her body is all too familiarised with. Those around her wise enough to let themselves be touched by her, by the dynamic power she carries, walk forth with her and live.
It says very little about "God" that Warrior Nun should adopt its heroine's views and seem "optimistic" as it progresses — but it speaks volumes about the values it presents for pondering, of the inspiration its protagonists provide, and of the multiple reasons why this is a story unlike most others.
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#warrior nun#ava silva#you know it's actually very funny to type this as someone who is very schopenhaurian with hints of nietzsche#but i AM doing the best i can too :)#again i will reiterate that i don't think this apparent optimism has anything to do with the classic theodicy#if anything i see it more as a cry in favour of antitheism -- this is YOUR life fuck god#life is shitty so carve out your own makeshift paradise out of the wreck you are given#and don't make things harder for anyone else in the process if you can avoid it#(but that might just be the luciferian in me speaking lol)#anywho this post is a translation of one i wrote not too long ago in cryptic english and a ton of tags#so if it seems familiar that's why#also i do find it rather telling that whenever i try to delve into how the show structures things i talk about ava#i don't set out to analyse her -- but in analysing the show i must analyse her as well if by the edges#which again points to how finely woven she is to the fabric of the entire thing#remember how i said ava is a representation of free will?#well this whole bringing good out of evil thing also touches upon it#saint augustine maintains that it is precisely free will that allows us to do it -- to choose good#of course he means it in a sense of being free to pursue god rather than evil but you see the parallel still works#(this is the post i mentioned in the last reblog. figured i'd go ahead and throw it in the wild since there are more brewing)#analysis and similar#exercises in observation
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sskk-manifesto · 2 months
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Ep 5!!!
#Episodes that make me go “The author has never talked with a woman ever” 😓😓😓#I don't like how Lucy's character is handled at all. And I feel like I can't talk about it because I'm just going to sound like a bitter–#ss/kk shipper... But I really don't like it. And if it can help my case I'm a multishipper so I really don't take any–#issues with atsu/lucy I like the ship quite a lot actually.#So you're telling me there's this girl... Who meets this boy who pretty much ruined her life by directly causing her to lose her job...#And the next time she sees him she's going to sacrifice her own freedom for him as well as tell him “when you're done doing your things–#come and save me” (longest ewwww ever)... And when she regains freedom (author didn't bother to explain how because they don't care)–#she goes to work... As a waitress at the café beneath his workplace. So he can keep doing his Cool Superpowers Job while she literally–#must serve him every time he visits the place. It's just ?????????????????????????????????#Look‚ I don't dislike Lucy and I feel general affection towards her. It's just that they make her act like no one ever would#Just for the sake of the plot I guess#And like I knoww it's (probably just a little) more nuanced than that. I know Lucy is living her own fairy tale fantasy.#It's just that what I've said about her story is still true‚ you know?#I'm sorry but as sweet as atsu/lucy can be. I really hate the author for making Lucy a waitress. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.#It's so weird. This anime has women writing standards that feel like dating back to the 20s#Same with Katai and the ideal woman tbh. Like why are women to be seen as this abstract impersonal entities? Why can't they just be people?#Ideal for WHO. It's like super screwed up of a concept. What even is an ideal woman? What does it mean to be a woman anyways?#They just want to say “ideal wife”. But women aren't made to be wives their existence isn't functional to another person.#Sorry. I derail. Next episode is going to be even worse on this front ughhhh#Back to the episode: once again it really shows they were running out of budget with this season‚‚‚ the animation looks very suffered#Too many flashback also... I feel bad for the animators tbh#I don't really like the shift in art style :( Not even Atsushi I found particularly pretty this episode my heart cries#The nail pulling thing made me feel like throwing up afhsjyabfsbfwasfvb I feel like I can bear worse gore but there's a couple of little–#specific things I can't stand and this seems to be one of them pffftttt#I like Higuchi I think she's both very funny and cool. I really wish she was explored more (but then again looking at Teruko... )#The relationship between Kunikida and Katai looks so interesting even though we only get glimpses of it. Kunikida regrets Katai leaving–#the ada but is also happy for him but also worries for him. He comes to his house seemingly to check on him and starts cleaning around.#The way he loves him and cherishes their friendship and shared history is really evident and it makes for a compelling dynamic.#Perhaps I should read their short story... In any case. Going to someone's house and compulsively start doing the dishes half out of will–#to help out half because he can't bear the mess sounds a lot like something I'd do lol
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burinazar · 1 year
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more Ganja-tai nonsense that either hadn't made it to tumblr yet or is freshly generated. see tags on this post for context. but once again The Context Won't Make These Less Stupid.
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tonhalszendvics · 3 months
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Second or third cousins getting married is legal in most places. How does that thing work with descendants? I mean, it's kinda problematic when a great-great-grandparent gets together with one of their -great-great-grandchild, but what about immortals? Is there a line or boundary there or do they have to keep their whole family tree in mind when they start dating?
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toastsnaffler · 1 year
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actually ive been thinking abt this a lot lately like basically for years i assumed i was very (cis)het passing and only recently ive become aware that i am in fact. very obviously perhaps almost comically gay to other queer ppl. like lmaoooo ok then
#i think its bc a) when i came out at like 15 everyone was super surprised so i assumed ppl still found it unexpected even now#+ b) im not super aware of social cues generally (autism) so dont tend to pick up on stuff like that unless its explicitly said#+ also c) ive never felt like i physically appear very conspicuous bc i dont have any piercings/tattoos/never dyed my hair etc#i only cut my hair short relatively recently too..... so idk i just assumed i blended into the background for everyone#but now im interacting with ppl outside of my tighter social circle more often ive become more aware-#of how ppl might perceive me. or rather ive become aware of just how UNaware i am of how ppl might perceive me#and its really funny how many odd interactions ive had in the past suddenly make sense if u assume the other person clocked me as gay#like strangers that have gotten flustered around me that might be bc i was giving off strong dyke vibes etc#the other day i was in a bookstore and the guy behind the counter was very stiff + quiet until i replied to smth he said and suddenly he-#became way more animated + started talking to me more casually + that was the first time i realised i probably sound gay as fuck#like i think i kinda have a stereotypical gay mannerism/lilt to the way i talk... no wonder i used to get called a fag so often lmfao#or like i remember trying to find a lab partner in 3rd yr of my degree + i had to do it on call only bc of covid + there were a bunch-#of us with similar lab interests but it got sorted SO fast bc this one other student seemed to gravitate immediately towards me#and i remember thinking afterward that it was odd how quickly we resolved that. esp bc we didnt even meet it was just voice call#anyway yeah i found out she was a dyke much later but i think maybe she clocked me straight away bc of how i sound....?#and that was why she warmed to me so quickly... but god i remember debating for ages with my ex abt whether she was gay or not#like my gaydar is truly terrible i suck balls at picking up on cues so its funny that to some people im reeking signals#also i met up with an ollldddd old friend last week + 30 secs in she was like oh fuck you must use different pronouns now#gesturing to Me. like oh..... im visibly gnc......? or maybe behaviourally???? idk. also shes v femme which made me realise that-#i rly do come across kinda masc/butch nowadays. even tho ive never really thought abt it that deeply before or made an effort to#i mean yeah i do identify along those lines but ive never directly considered how to flag that to other people etc im just doing me baby#ANYWAY this has been a rly long ramble idr what point i was getting at but just find it fascinating to think abt how im read in public#bc im just genuinely so unaware of it. its weirdly rly validating to find out that im automatically recognised as dykey + a little masc#boosted my confidence a lot as well tbh ive felt rly comfortable in myself lately. partly also cuz im getting a little muscular ;^)#ANYWAYYYYYY enough of all that i need to go sleep if youre reading this ily goodnighttt xoxo#.diaries
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paeinovis · 2 years
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There are many dynamics that Zag n Mel in the new Hades game might end up being... But have we considered it might be a Miles Edgeworth and Franziska von Karma situation
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sewerfight · 1 year
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Kind of a Reddit AITA post but sometimes it is a little funny to fuck with people in ways that deliberately conform to a stereotype of what they must think of you. the other day I was talking to my friend and I randomly said that I wanted a pet chimpanzee. I'd dress it in person clothes (dungarees and hats) and I'd teach it to love science fiction. And this girl nearby was like "you know how dangerous those things are, right? Also how unethical it is to keep an ape as your pet for your own amusement" and I was already seeing where the conversation was going so I was pretending ignorance like "yea but it wouldn't just be for my amusement. It would have practical points too." And she ignored that statement entirely to say "Well chimpanzees can rip faces off" and I was like. What's the most frustrating thing I can say now. Finally settled on "Mine wouldn't do that though." and you could tell she wanted to hurt me very very badly. Like a chimpanzee would if I had one as a pet
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ALL CLOTHING IS SEXIST AND ANTI FEMINIST... WE CAN'T WEAR ANYTHING BECAUSE THAT IS HOW THEY ALL ARE... WE HAVE BEEN ABUSED THE SAME ASWELL... TRANSPHOBIC DOCTORS STRATEGY IS TO SHAME YOU THEY DID THIS SO MUCH... THEY WANT TO HURT YOU... BTW MAKE US TRANSITION WE LIVE IN FINLAND FREEZE OUR LITTLE ONES AND GIVE US DIY HRT...
#Trans Woman Lesbian Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Paraphilia Acceptance Love Compassion Diversity Feelings Emotions Funny#Mother Goddess Angel Sisters Princess Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist Hello Kind Woman... Come To Us... Omg Hello Progressive Feminis#Come To Us... Anime Writing Autism Adhd Tourette Npd Hpd Bpd Dpd Ppd Aspd Avpd Ocpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd Papd Cptsd Trauma Victim#Abuser Psychosis Bipolar Scizophrenia Suomi Finland Finnish Hieno Kaunis Hullu Kiinnostava Anna Trans... Meidät Satutetaan... Our Abuser#Joined Them Too... When You Really Think They All Shamed Us Together... On Purpose... Fitting For Her Too... That Wants Us To Believe We're#Shamefull And Must Change For Being Too Crazy Disabled And Lgbt She's Already Said This... Even Called Us The R Slur...#I Can't Believe We Lost Them... They Hated Us... Despised Us... Never Cared About Us... Never Will... Only We Care About Ourselves... Nobod#Else Does... That Is Excactly What Happened. Suddenly I Remember. She Truly Loves All Those Terfs They Have The Same Agenda. She Can't Even#Tell The Malice They Have. Meanwhile. When That About Her Fake Woman Rights Suddenly That Is Absolute Instead Of “Just A Different Point Of#View“ Because She's A Terf Herself Simple As That. We Have Always Been Far More Progressive To Be Able To Tell. She's Bodyphobic Despite He#Huge Existance That Is... Pathetic... She's All The Bigoted Things... All Of Them... Despite Everything She Is... What A Missed Opportunity#OMG!! AN ABUSER BIGOT ATTACKED US THAT WAS INSANE!! THEY'RE GOING TO MURDERER US BECAUSE WE!! 😱!!!! KNEW REALITY...#THAT IS THEM THAT OPPOSED US THEM THAT ATTACKED US... WE ARE ALWAYS VICTIM ANY SITUATION... MAKE US TRANSITION... OTHERWISE YOU'RE AN ABUSE#BIGOT... OMG THAT ABUSER TURNED OUT TO BE SANIST... THAT WAS ALWAYS OBVIOUS... VERY SCARY... NOTHING PROGRESSIVE ABOUT THAT IN ANY WAY... A#WE ALWAYS KNEW... WE ARE SMART WE ARE GENIUS ONLY WE SHOULD BE LISTENED TO... MAD PRIDE IS EVIL AND BIGOTED WITH NOTHING PROGRESSIVE ABOUT#THEM... ALL THEIR CONSERNS WERE ALWAYS WITH THE PATHETIC NEUROTYPICAL... NOT THE CRAZY PEOPLE... THEY REJECT MENTAL CONDITIONS... WHILE#VILLANIZING PEOPLE WITH THEIR QUALITIES... THEIR PROVEN ONLY BEING BOHH A NEUROTYPICAL COULD BE MISDIAGNOSED 😢... NOT THE ABUSE CRAZY#PEOPLE EXPERIENCE... WE SAW THEM... HOW EVIL EVERYTHING WAS... NOBODY... WILL EVER UNDERSTAND... WE HAVE SEEN SO MUCH... NOBODY ELSE EVER#WILL SEE THE SAME... AND DESPITE THAT WE AREN'T LOVED AND APPRECIATED... WE DESERVE BETTER... WE ALWAYS DID...#EVENTUALLY EVERY SINGLE GROUP WILL CARE ABOUT US... BECAUSE TO CARE ABOUT US DOESN'T EXCLUDE YOU BASED IN ANY DIFFERENCE... ONLY EVIL...#NOTHING ILL ABOUT US... WE ARE NORMAL WE ARE CENTER... THAT IS ABUSER BIGOT THAT ALL ARE OTHERWISE...#WOKE SMOSH AND WOKE MARVEL BEST FOR BOTH BOTH KILLED BOTH RUINED BOTH START OUT ASS#THEY'RE BOTH WHAT WE WANT TO AND LIKE WATCHING FOR BOTH... THE FUN ONES WITH MORE DIVERSITY... THAT WANT US THERE MORE THAN THE OTHER 2...#THAT ARE BOTH MADE FOR THE WASTE THAT WEAPON THEM AGAINST PEOPLE LIKE US... YOU SHOULD LIKE WOKE TOO.#THIS MAKES YOU NORMAL. ONLY A BIGOT WOULDN'T BE NORMAL. DON'T GET CONFUSED WITH WHAT ISN'T NORMAL HONEY <3!!!#BECAUSE ABUSER BIGOT HAVE CHANGED THE MEANING THE MEANING WE MADE... AS ALWAYS...#GOING AGAINST... FORSAKING US... MOTHER GODDESS ANGEL SISTERS AND PRINCESS FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION... AMAZING FEMINIST ADMIRABLE NARCISSIST.#THE WOKE ERA: THE BEST OF BOTH MARVEL AND SMOSH... FACTUAL INFORMATION... LOVE US... ACCEPT US... YOU'RE MINE TO CONTROL...#ABUSER BIGOT WILL SEE YOUR MOST TRUEST AND HONEST FEELINGS THERE ARE AND REJECT THEM... AS LONG AS THIS HAPPENS YOU ARE THEIR VICTIM...#IF ALT RIGHT PIPELINE IS SOMETHING MOST PEOPLE HAVE WENT TROUGH HAVING EVERYONE BE OTHERWISE BRAINWASHED MAKES SENSE ONLY...
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boleynqueenes · 5 months
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😂 Share your funniest line (or dialogue exchange
"The nature of our friendship... with Wolsey is entirely different than the nature of ours with you." "Indeed, for the first is far older."
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thewispsings · 3 months
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better streamer | max verstappen
pairing; max verstappen x streamer!reader
summary; after getting completely demolished on stream by user; fartsnifer max makes it his life purpose to win a game against her. to bad he never does and they fall in love instead.
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— fartsnifer has posted new photos!
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liked by, charlesleclerc, and 57,924 others!
fartsnifer: very nice stream tonight! thank you so much to all those who joined 🫶🫶 and thank you to all of my new followers! welcome, you are now all official fartsnifers 🔥
view comments below!
user1: i love your content but i will not be identified as a fartsnifer.
user2: i too did not want to identify as a fartsnifer. i am now proud to be one 😕
user3: being a fartsnifer is a PRIVILEGE. be proud
user4: i’m sorry but i can’t take you guys seriously while you’re calling yourself fartsnifers 😭😭
user5: this is the girl who embarrassed the f1 grid in cod?!?
user6: this is her!!!
charles_leclerc: @/maxverstappen1, @/landonorris, @/georgerussell63, @/oscarpiastri @/logansargent, @/alex_albon, @/danielricciardo
user7: bro tagged the whole family 💀
user8: LMAO CHARLES???
user9: how did he find her so quick 😭
user10: basically all of f1twt is talking about her 😭😭
maxverstappen1: @/fartsnifer check dms.
user11: MAX WHATTT
user12: willing to bet he’s asking her for a rematch
user13: that’s so ominous “check dms.” LIKE DAMN OKAY
user14: max just accept that she is better than you. it’s okay.
georgerussell63: well well well, if it isn’t fartsnifer herself.
fartsnifer: well well well, if it isn’t the guy who scream like a girl
georgerussell63: um actually, that was @/landonorris, NOT me.
landonorris: why are you lying?
user15: y/n replying to george and not max is killing me 😭
maxverstappen1: check dms.
user16: this is embarrassing max, one comment was enough
user17: i think he wants y/n to check her dms?
oscarpiastri: good game tonight! 👊
fartsnifer: thanks piastri!
user18: thank you oscar for showing y/n that f1 drivers do in fact have decorum 🧍
logansargent: don’t fraternize with the enemy Oscar.
maxverstappen1: check dms please.
user19: oh max…
user20: it just got even more embarrassing
user21: the way y/n is very clearly ignoring him is SO FUCKING FUNNY
user22: i love your content pls don’t die
danielricciardo: please answer Max’s messages.
user23: daniel did max make you do this???
danielricciardo: yes.
maxverstappen1: check dms.
user24: OMG MAX WE GET ITTTT
user24: y/n please answer his dms this is getting sad to watch
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— y/n l/n and max verstappen have shared a collaborated post!
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liked by maxverstappen1, charles_leclerc, landonorris, and 392,839 others!
fartsnifer: join my stream tonight to watch me humiliate this 3x wdc!! 👊👊
view comments below!
user25: omg she actually answered his messages 😭
maxverstappen1: that is not the photo we agreed on.
fartsnifer: but this one was so much funnier!!
user26: oh i WILL be tuning in
user27: this is going to be the funniest thing ever
user28: strangers to lovers…
user29: OH BROTHERRR
landonorris: best buddy’s with the enemy now mate?
maxverstappen1: i must win.
user30: i love that photo of max
user30: the ways he’s just 🧍
charles_leclerc: woohoo!! go y/n 👏👏
georgerussell63: fake.
landonorris: she is the enemy charles!
logansargent: after she humiliated us on stream? i can’t believe this.
maxverstappen1: you sick traitor. after everything we’ve been through?
charles_leclerc: i like her videos guys 😕
user31: charles leclerc a official fartsnifer confirmed!!
user32: i was planning to sleep early today….but this seems more important
user33: oh but if i said enemies to friends to lovers…
user34: i would say you’re delusional!! 😝😝
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— y/n has posted new photos!
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liked by maxverstappen1, oscarpiastri, and 583,826 others!
fartsnifer: life feels good when you don’t have to pay for your own dinners 🤤 @/maxverstappen1
view comments below!
user35: hasn’t it already been over a month 🤨
user36: i think they played again and if y/n won max had to pay her dinners for ANOTHER month
user37: they just want an excuse to keep in touch 😒😒
user36: oh most definitely LMAOOO
maxverstappen1: when did i get you sushi?
fartsnifer: like three days ago remember????
maxverstappen1: ah yes! i remember now
user37: max is literally traveling the world racing and still finds time to order y/n dinner online EVERY SINGLE DAY.
user38: he wants her so bad and you can’t convince me otherwise 😐
landonorris: can you play today?
fartsnifer: don’t you have quali today???!?!
landonorris: i mean after 😒
fartsnifer: yeah just tell me when
maxverstappen1: can i join?
user39: omg max no
user40: oh i just got the worst second hand embarrassment jesus christ
user41: that was the saddest sentence ever written
fartsnifer: ofc you can maximilian!!
charles_leclerc: you shouldn’t try this delicious italian restaurant! i’ll send max the address!!
fartsnifer: thank you charles 🫶🫶
maxverstappen1; don’t thank him 🙄 I’m the one buying it.
user42: don’t be jealous max…
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liked by 273,827 others!
fartsniferupdates: queen fartsnifer herself was seen at the f1 austrian race today!! i think we ALL know who she was there for… 😉😉
view comments below!
user43: she flew to austria for a MAN ?? 🤨
user44: to be fairrrrr that man is MAX VERSTAPPEN so…
user45: they are so dating!! they literally left together and looked so happy
user46: i fucking knew it
user47: okay enemy’s to lovers…get it ig
user48: maybe y/n can let max win at COD now that they’re a…thing?
user49: y/n looks so good
user50: IKR!!! her hair is chefs kiss
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liked by, landonorris, charles_leclerc, fartsnifer, and 763,825 others!
maxverstappen1: finally payed for her dinner in person 💪
view comments below!
user51: oh HE posted her?? yeah he’s in love
user52: he ruined his entire feed aesthetic to post a picture of her 🥹🥹🥹
fartsnifer: i don’t like that picture🧍delete please!
maxverstappen1: karma!
maxverstappen1: and you look cute 🙄
user53: OH!!!
user54: yeah they are definitely dating
landonorris: finally!! God you were getting to annoying with your “she’s so pretty.” “and she’s good at games.” “do you think if we started dating she’d let me win.”
maxverstappen1: delete this.
fartsnifer: too late!! i’ve seen it. no max just because we’re dating doesn’t mean i will let you win
maxverstappen1: 😕
user55: OMG SHE JUST CONFIRMED IT?? THEY ARE ACTUALLY DATING?? HOLY SHIT
user56: girl he literally flew her out to watch him race. ofc they were dating 😭😭
user33: I FUCKING KNEW IT!! FUCK YOU ALL WHO SAID I WAS DELUSIONAL!! WHAT NOW HUH??? YOU SEE THIS?? I WAS RIGHT!! AHAHAHAH
charles_leclerc: ❤️❤️
charles_leclerc: that was for y/n, not max.
maxverstappen1: geez thanks mate!
fartsnifer: love you charles ‼️‼️
user57: LMAOOO
user58: the way charles became a full on fartsnifer fan is so crazy
user59: he literally talks about her all the time too 😭😭 when he was asked what he’s been watching recently he answered “i’ve been watching a streamer named fartsnifer! she’s funny.” he’s so proud about it
georgerussell63: you are all traitors!! after what she did to us that fateful day? i can’t believe this!
fartsnifer: you literally invited me for drinks tomorrow?? 🧍
georgerussell63: SHHHH 🤫🤫
user60: max is dating someone who gos by the name fartsnifer….yeah i didn’t see this coming
. . .
notes: thank you for reading!! hope you enjoyed :))
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januaryembrs · 6 months
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BLACK CAT GIRLFRIEND | Spencer Reid x reader
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request: Hey Congratulations on the 2K! Do you think you could write something with Spencer Reid and a Reader who has lots of tattoos and/or piercings? Like she's the whole "bad girl" stereotype but Spencer and her complement each other so well and have a very sweet and mature relationship. I would love something like that.
description: the team meet Spencer's new girlfriend and she doesn't look quite like they'd imagined
word count: 1.1k
main masterlist
authors note: I officially hit 2k followers this morning!! see my post here for requesting but lets start this milestone off with a bang!! thankyou so much :))))))
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Morgan had to admit, you weren’t exactly what he’d envisioned when Pretty Boy had been talking his ear off for months about the girl in his apartment building that had slipped him your number. He wasn’t judgemental, not by a longshot, but Spencer had always seemed like the type to date the preppy, library geek, or even the cutesy geneticist if Maeve had been anything to go off of. 
It’s not like you weren’t hot, he could see that you were a mile away, but you looked like you’d sooner break someone’s wrist for so much as talking to you than fall for their resident genius. 
You smiled tightly, shaking Derek’s hand with a crushing grip, as Spencer introduced you to his team, the obnoxiously loud bass almost drowning out his words as the six of you stood in the bar. 
“Nice to meet you, Spencer talks about you all the time,” You said politely, and no sooner had you let go of the man’s warm hand, two arms were thrown over your shoulders and you were tugged into a hug. 
“I’m Penelope- oh you’re so pretty, Morgan isn’t she so pretty? You should marry Spencer then you can be boyfriend girlfriend for, like, life-” The perky voice was all a jumble as the blonde pulled away, cupping your face, rubbing down your arms kindly, sweetly, like you were swallowing a warm spoon of honey. 
“Penelope, newbie rules, remember,” Emily chimed in, seeing your eyes widen at the sudden intrusion of personal space. She could see this ending with the pretty pink bows Garcia had plaited her hair in torn to shreds on the sticky floor, right next to her long barbie locks if your intimidating figure was anything to go off, “Not everyone likes hugs,”
“No, no,” You replied, smiling gently at the woman who was softer than cotton candy, “Hugs are nice,” 
“We’re going to be very best friends, I can feel it, which is funny because my tarot actually said I’d meet a strong Taurus woman- or are you a Scorpio-” Penny’s smile was dazzling, but she was soon ushered to let go of the bear like grip she had on your shoulders by a chuckling Morgan.
“Let the other kids play with her, babygirl,” He said, and you were pulled in another direction towards Emily who gave a polite handshake. 
“Nice ink,” She said with raised brows as she saw the intricate sketches that covered the back of your hands, trailing up your arm and under the band tee you wore. She knew who they were, though they only dragged up memories of her own days of thick eyeliner and rebelling against her mother. “They must have hurt like a bitch, I got one on my hip and could barely sit for one hour,” 
You snickered, nodding, seeing her eyes trailing over the ones on your ankles and knees where your ripped jeans flashed them all. 
“Bones hurt the most, though the one on my ass is up there for the worst ones,” You replied, and Penny’s brows shot into her hairline, though she giggled like a schoolgirl being told a secret.
“I think we’re gonna need to see the proof on that one,” Morgan teased flirtily, the way he always did, the way he did even with JJ who had a whole child and partner, because it was his natural state of being. 
Spencer smiled as his team warmed to you, though he was quick to pull you to him with a gentle arm around the waist. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Derek, that man was practically his brother, he’d taken bullets for the guy, but he liked having you close, even if to just remind himself that you were all his, including said tattoo on your buttcheek that he’d seen plenty of times. 
The team didn’t need to know that, but you could tell your words had reminded him of it as he pressed a shy kiss behind your ear.
He was careful to avoid the studs and links that glittered from your ear lobe, wrapping over the cartilage on your helix, though he loved to stare at them on nights where you tied your hair up and he could count every one of them. To him you were a work of art, complex and detailed with every glance he stole. You were an illustration in one of his many books, everything he imagined for himself times a million. 
“I’m going to go get a drink, do you want one?” You said, looking up at him with puppy eyes, like a lovestruck teenager, fat adoration in your gaze. It oozed out of every inch of you, and JJ thought for a moment that you looked nothing like the scary doberman woman that Spence had originally brought over to meet them. You looked in love, the saccharine, soft and dazed kind of in love. 
“Let me get it for you,” Spencer rooted around his pocket for his wallet, turning to see Morgan’s beer bottle running low, “You having another one?”
“I’m good, my man, you just sort yourself and your lady out,” Derek flashed him a thousand watt smile and clapped him on the shoulder as you entwined your fingers with his, pulling him through the cluster of people and towards the bar, “What a stud,” 
Penelope giggled again, leaning towards her adonis best friend with honeyglow cheeks, watching their genius get led like a dog on a leash. 
“Oh lover boy had got it bad,” She drawled, watching Reid, their Reid, develop an uncharacteristically protective stance as a few men at the bar shot looks up and down your body. She couldn’t blame them either, you were a sight for sore eyes. “Okay, so do I have to be the first one to point out how hot she is or have I maybe had one too many margaritas?” 
“She seems nice,” JJ chose her words carefully, still not entirely sure she would have ever put the two of you together but she saw the way Spence’s eyes got round and longing when he looked over you. He’d clearly said something to make you laugh, and an inked hand raised up to brush his chocolate curls out of his face lovingly, “She seems good for him,”
A murmur of agreement ran through the four of them, Emily taking one more sip of her martini as her eyes roved over your figure returning with something fruity and colourful, “Anyone else dying to know what’s on her ass?” 
-
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foldingfittedsheets · 6 months
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When I was getting my associates degree I took a course on human sexuality. It was really fascinating and wonderful. One of our assignments was to write about the first time we ever masturbated which was very uncomfortable and silly at the same time.
Mine was extremely boring because there’s nothing exciting about a five year old realizing that climbing the fire pole feels really good.
I told a coworker at the time about the assignment and she laughed and told me about her daughter. They had these really old dining room chairs with carved legs. The chairs had smooth wood bulbs going up them that the kid loved to rub on.
Her mom didn’t want to dissuade her or make her ashamed but she also needed to establish that masturbation should always be private. So she talked to her daughter and explained that she could do that but must do it in her room alone.
The result of which was that everyone was aware the girl was going to masturbate when she dragged the chair into her room to be alone with it.
My friends was my favorite though, because his discovery was in stages. He liked it when his penis would get hard as a kid because it meant he could grab it and pretend to be flying a helicopter. His aha moment was when this happened once in the shower and the grabbing plus soap made him realize something else might be going on.
That was funny on its own, but nothing could match when in the most betrayed tone he said, “It was so much more fun then, before stuff came out at the end.”
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simpforrooster · 10 months
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actually, it’s captain.
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Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw x f!reader
summary: request for @kpopgirlbtssvt. rooster’s girl is hit on by Top Gun students.
t/w: touch her, you d i e trope. cursing. mentions of alcohol.
Rooster leans against the bar, laughing at something Penny tells him. His jeans hang low on his hips, and he’s wearing the Hawaiian shirt you bought him for his birthday.
Rooster’s hand slaps the bar as he continues to howl. Penny and Mav exchange a look. Maverick murmurs something to Penny. Your guess would be “it wasn’t that funny.”
You throw back the rest of your drink. As your glass returns to the table, a group of men circle you, all clad in khaki. Must be new Top Gun recruits.
“What’s a pretty little gal like you sittin’ here alone for?” one of them asks you, his accent very similar to Hangman’s.
“Mind if we join ya?” the second asks. Before you can reply, two of the slide in across from you, while the one who spoke first sits next to you. His burly arm comes up around your shoulder. You stiffen under him, feeling small.
And not in the way you feel with Rooster. He makes you feel small, protected, but also empowered. This guy has a hold on you like he’s claiming you. Telling every other guy in the bar he plans on taking you home.
“This here’s Crane and Sorry,” he points to the two in front of you. “And you can call me Pleasure. As in, it’s a pleasure to meet you. As in, the way all ladies feel after a night with me.” He winks. He actually winks.
Your brain is so shocked, you can’t form words. You should take this guy’s arm and bend it behind your back, the way your dad taught you. You should give him on of your grade-a verbal lashings.
But you don’t. The sheer audacity of this man has you frozen.
You try to make eye contact with Rooster, but Pleasure’s frame blocks your view.
“Get your hands off my girlfriend, asshole.” Rooster’s voice makes a relieved breath come from your mouth. His tone of voice would make anyone run for the hills, but it leaves you full of wanting.
Pleasure chuckles, meeting Rooster’s gaze. “Actually, it’s Lieutenant.”
Crane and Sorry exchange an amused look. Rooster’s face is set in a hard line. He reaches for Pleasure’s bicep, ripping him from the booth.
“I said to get your hands off my girlfriend, asshole.” Rooster is a whole head taller than the aviator that just had himself draped on you.
“Shouldn’t leave your girl all alone, dick.” Pleasure tells him, bowing up. Rooster’s mouth pulls up on the left, giving him one of his infamous cocky smirks. Second only to Hangman’s.
“Actually, it’s Captain. And I hope to God you’re in one of my classes. Lieutenant.”
At this, you see Pleasure audibly gulp, knowing he’s fucked up. Rooster still has a death grip on his arm.
“Come on, man. Make my day,” the words come out laced with venom.
Before things can get out of hand, you hop out of the booth and high tail it to Penny. Quickly giving her a synopsis, she rings the bell, signaling these guys need to be thrown out. Hangman, Omaha, and Coyote each grab one of the guys and drag them to the exit.
Rooster joins you at the bar, taking your face in his hands. Those brown eyes roam over you, searching.
Your hands come up to cradle his face, “Roos, I’m fine.”
“When I saw him draped over you, I saw red. Nobody touches my girl.” He leans down to place a kiss against your temple. Rooster’s words have your toes curling in your shoes. You’ve never seen this side of him.
You lower your hands to his shoulders, threading one of them in his curly hair that’s definitely longer than Military regulation.
“You’re the only one I want touching me,” you murmur in his ear, your face flushing.
“Yeah?” he murmurs back.
Not trusting your voice to not come out completely needy, you nod.
“Come on, guys. Quit being disgusting,” Maverick says to the two of you, feigning gagging.
Penny pops his hand over the bar, eliciting a laugh from him.
Rooster ignores him, placing a deep kiss onto your mouth.
“Take me home, baby,” you say, taking in those brown eyes.
“I don’t know, pretty girl, I don’t think I can get further than the Bronco,” he winks.
masterlist.
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charlieeenby · 6 months
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meeting robin
the justice league is happy that batman is socializing, but they're worried that he doesn't seem to notice when robin is switched out every few years
warnings and tags: miscommunication but it's funny, alien invasion, mentioned violence
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“Batman,” Clark said slowly, “why do you have a second heartbeat?”
Instead of responding, Batman grunted.
“A second heartbeat?” Barry questioned, zipping over. “How would that even work?”
Another grunt from Batman.
“Batman?”
“I don’t.”
“But I can hear a second heartbeat coming from you.” Clark said, confused.
“It’s not mine.”
Barry choked. “Huh? Who is it then?”
“Robin’s.”
Clark frowned. “Who’s Robin?”
Batman grunted again, and Barry groaned.
“Come on, man!”
Then, Batman’s cape, which hid his entire body, shifted. Clark heard a small giggle. A child popped out, beaming.
“I’m Robin!” he exclaimed, clearly excited to be there. Barry was startled and jumped back a bit.
“What the f-” he stopped short when Batman glared at him. “Fudge?”
“Batman, what is…who is this?” Clark asked.
“This is Robin.” Batman said, like it explained anything.
“We got that. Why is he here?”
Robin bounced. “I’m gonna help!” he said, and Clark caught an accent he couldn’t quite place.
“Help?”
This got him a nod. “Yeah. B said I was ready to meet the Justice League!”
“Who’s B?”
Robin squinted at Barry’s question. Then pointed up at Batman. “B.”
“Batman, where’s Robin?” Diana asked, surprised the young vigilante wasn’t with Batman.
“He’s busy. Couldn’t come.” Batman said, and Diana got the sense that there was something that Batman wasn’t saying to her, but she decided to leave it be.
“I see. Is he alright?”
“Fine. Work.” Batman seemed to be giving short answers again, something he’d stopped doing after Robin had shown up.
“Well, tell him we all missed him, please.”
Batman grunted.
“Batman, what happened to Robin?” Barry questioned, staring at the small boy that had replaced the teen they’d watched grow up. This one seemed shy, half hidden behind Batman.
“Nothing.”
“Well something had to have happened, Robin was a lot taller last time we saw him.” Clark said, also watching the boy. “That’s not the same person.”
“No.” Batman said in an almost growl.
“Huh?” Barry said, confused.
“That’s not the Robin we know. That’s someone else.” Clark said.
“We’re ready to start.” Diana said from behind Batman and Robin, the latter of which startled by her.
Clark heard a quiet ‘woah’ from the boy and smiled. He must be a fan of Wonder Woman.
The Justice League and Robin shuffled into the meeting room, Robin sitting in a chair very close to Batman.
For the entire meeting, he sat quietly, mostly watching Diana with obvious wonder across his face.
Afterwards, Diana approached him, kneeling down to his level.
“Hello. My name is Diana.”
“H-hi.”
“How long have you been Robin?” she asked gently.
“Uh,” he looked up at Batman, who nodded encouragingly to the small boy. “A few months.”
“And are you enjoying it?”
Robin nodded. “Yeah. It’s fun and we get ta help people.'' This boy had an accent as well, though it was quite different from the first Robin’s.
“That’s wonderful.” Diana said. “We’re excited to work with you, Robin.” the kid beamed, looking like he was having the best day of his life.
“Batman, what the fuck?” Barry exclaimed, ignoring the various looks he got at the curse. “Why did Robin get smaller again?”
“Because I’m a different person.” Robin said.
“But he just replaced the first one like, two years ago!”
“Four, actually.”
“Batman? Could you explain, please?” Diana asked.
They got a grunt in response.
Clark sighed. “Batman, please, can you explain this?”
Robin scoffed. “Are you stupid?”
“Robin.” Batman’s tone had a warning in it.
“There’s nothing to explain.”
A grunt.
“Batman, Robin is a girl.” Hal said, confused and done with the entire thing.
“Is that a problem, fuckface?” The entire League took a step back, surprised by this Robin’s language.
“No, of course not. I’m just surprised, that’s all.” Hal said, trying to recover.
Robin huffed before turning back to Batman.
“Language, Robin.” was Batman’s response.
“Oh, come on, I coulda said a whole lot worse.” Her accent reminded Clark of the second Robin’s accent, though more pronounced.
“Tell that to Agent A.”
Robin gasped. “You wouldn’t!”
Batman grunted, though this sounded like one of his amused grunts.
“Fiiine.” She turned to Hal. “I'm sorry for calling you a fuckface.” that got a sigh from Batman.
She turned back to Batman. “Happy?”
Batman grunted again, and while Robin seemed content, Clark and the rest of the league had no idea what it meant.
“Oh my god, this one has a sword!” Hal screeched, running into the meeting room.
“Who does?” Diana asked, standing.
“Robin! Batman got a new one and he has a sword! He tried to stab me!”
“If I had tried to stab you, you would have been stabbed.” a small voice said from the doorway.
Everyone looked over to find Robin, scowling and glaring at all of them.
“He looks just like Batman.” Barry whispered, and Clark agreed. The boy in front of them had an uncanny similarity to Batman.
“Of course I look like him, I’m his son.” Robin snapped, and there were various gasps around the room.
“His son?” Barry’s pitch was high enough that Clark winced.
“Yes.”
“Robin.” Batman appeared behind Robin, frowning at the small boy and looking more annoyed then concerned. “Please don’t stab them. They are our allies, not our enemies.”
Robin looked annoyed, glaring at the Justice League. “Fine.”
“Go sit.” Batman said, nudging the boy towards a chair.
Clark looked up when the computer whirred to life.
“Recognized, Nightwing, B-0-1. Recognized, Red Robin, B-0-3. Recognized, Spoiler, B-0-4. Recognized, Robin, B-0-5.”
Clark stood and walked over to the zeta tube, staring at the four people that stepped out.
“Hey, Supes!”
“Who are you?” he asked, confused.
“We’re-” the one in black and blue started, but was interrupted by the one in red.
“We’re looking for Batman. It’s an emergency.” he stated, matter of fact. “Where is he?”
Clark hesitated. He didn’t know these people or how they got into the tower to begin with, but he wasn’t keen on taking them to Batman.
He didn’t have time to make a decision before the zeta tube started again.
“Recognized, Red Hood, B-0-2.”
He knew that Red Hood was a crime lord, how was the computer recognizing him?
“Where’s B?” Hood asked as soon as he was through.
“We’re still working on that.”
Hood groaned. “What part of ‘emergency’ did you not understand?”
The person dressed in purple scoffed. “We just got here and Superman is in the way. You wanna fight Superman?”
Hood looked over at Clark. “Hi.”
“Hi. What’s going on?”
“We need Batman. Got a bit of an emergency.”
Clark frowned and looked down at Robin. “Robin, what is going on? Who are these people?”
Robin scoffed. “Hood and Red Robin both informed you of what is going on, Superman. I didn’t know you were that dense.”
At least he knew the name of one of the new ones.
“Alright. Just, stay here, okay?”
“Fine.” Robin snapped, looking annoyed.
Clark went over to the chair he’d been in and hit the intercom. “Batman, you’re needed by the zeta tubes.”
A few minutes later, Batman appeared. When he saw the assortment of vigilantes, he sighed loudly.
“What happened?” he asked, sounding tired.
“We are being attacked by aliens.” the one in purple said.
Clark frowned and Batman shook his head.
“So you came up here to tell me instead of using the coms? Why?”
“Well, the com lines are down.” Hood said. “So yes, we came up here.”
“B, we really need to go take care of the aliens. Can we go?” the one in black and blue asked.
“Yes. Go, I’ll be down in a minute.” Batman said, still just sounding mildly inconvenienced instead of like someone who was just informed of an alien invasion.
As soon as they were all gone, Clark rounded on Batman. “What the hell? Who are they?”
Batman grunted. “Notify the rest of the League, then get down there.” he walked away, and left through the zeta tube.
Clark sighed and did as Batman had asked.
“Will you explain this now?” Clark asked, waving at the group of vigilantes that all said they worked with Batman, despite the League only knowing about Robin.
Batman just grunted and Clark was about to lose it, but then Batman said, “Robin.”
Clark stopped. “Huh?”
“Nightwing was the first Robin, Hood the second, Red Robin the third, and Spoiler the fourth. Orphan was never Robin, but she was Batgirl. Signal is new and has only ever been Signal.
“What the fuck?” Barry exclaimed. “I thought they all died!”
Hood raised his hand. “I did die.”
Batman sighed at that.
“Did he really?” Clark asked.
“Yes. But he’s fine now.”
“Am I?”
Batman groaned.
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