#she's like a raccoon with rabies ... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

deadghosy · 1 year ago

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Hello ! I wanted to ask if you can write a Hazbin Hotel x male!reader that is like a raccon please ?

Ignore it if you don't want to write it !!

(Unconnected, but I really love your writing. You have a real talent for this)

Sure lol! I also wanted to make them have the animal spirit of a raccoon so here you go! 🦆💗

HAZBIN HOTEL X RACCOON! READER

prompt: a ex-thief wants redemption to see his family

You stole shit..like lots of it to the point even your ex-teammates calls you a raccoon for your ability to steal like crazy. So when one of your teammates killed you because of they were jealous you got so much jewelry…. You fell into hell grumbling piss at seeing your ex teammate shoot you before you died.

You dusted off your outfit to fuckin' see you are a raccoon. (You can imagine reader to be a cubby raccoon or your body type 😘) but you gotta admit it fitted you as you looked to see an ad for a hotel that talks about redemption. You didn’t wanna stay in hell any longer as you smell the flames in your snout. So you go over to the hotel.

You stay at the hotel for months, getting the trust of the hotel staff as you live there. Charlie introduces herself in her dreams to you, making you feel at least as you should help her grow in her dreams of the hotel that she’s making out of this.

So you nod, accepting your be part of the exercises she does.

You either was given a red outfit just like Charlie and vaggie or just a black fit to match your mischievous personality.

I can see reader literally just trying to wash their hand from the sink as Charlie pick them up and helps you wash your hands thinking you can’t change heights.

Lucifer picked you up because you’re the size of a raccoon so you kind of found it funny until you grow up in size as human size. Never in his life has Lucifer dropped a person so quick as you chuckled.

“EW A RODENT” “EW A SHORT PERSON”

There was so much silence that the silence was loud as Lucifer gave you a “that’s not nice D:” face as you shrugged.

Raccoon! Reader and penguin! Reader would be cousins 😭

Like literally these two animal readers would be those cousins trying to get a sleepover by their moms.

Angel would probably set you up to steal from Valentino…I mean shit Italians stick together☝🏾

Niffty likes to groom you if you are in your raccoon size. Don’t run, you can’t out run Niffty and her cleaning tools ‼️

I can imagine you and sir Pentious being slight mutuals as you go through peoples trash bins and just collect metal for Pentious making Pentious give you something in return.

A cute headcannon is that you sometimes stick your tongue out when drinking something other than gulping it down.

Husk had gave you some water because you were dehydrated. And this man raised an eyebrow seeing you drink it like a cautious animal. Okay so maybe husk did pet you on your head as you were too busy drinking the water.

You are a slick bastard, you would literally pick pocket people without them even knowing it. Hell, you died with a talent because of this. But it’s sometimes hard to break bad habits.

I headcannon you bit a resident that tried to pickpocket off of you. You definitely gave them rabies with your sharp teeth as they started to spazz and pass out. Leaving you just standing there like. “Did I do that…😨”

I can see raccoon! Reader just being thrown by Angel when he wanted to catch some sinner who tried to take his drugs (pilot reference) and you got on the sinners head and fuck up their face🦆

It was definitely giving “PIKACHU, I CHOOSE YOU!” 😭

Okay so I gotta admit…I headcannon raccoon! Reader to have dug in the trash bins only to get scolded by Charlie as you had a banana peel on your head

I can see raccoon reader also having the personality of rigby, but more of a mature side to it a little. If you know what character I’m talking about hit me up 😘😍

As much as you seem playful and dumb at time, you’re really smart when you wanna be smart. You literally outsmarted Alastor at chess once which made alastor’s eyes widen at you.

I deadass headcannon raccoon! Reader to have like some kinda of accent. Probably Italian, but make it heavy and attractive. 😭🦆

But like if raccoon reader is Italian imagine the secret talks you and Angel do away from the others 😭😭 just two Italian boys planning world domination

Alastor doesn’t have any options on you other than you just stealing his cane makes him pissed off.

You stole his cane for a talent show down stairs that Charlie made. You were doing comedy until this mf grabbed the scuff of your neck and forced you to give it back.😭

STOP CAUSE YOU PROBABLY GOT LOCKED IN A TRASH BIN ONCE AND IT TOOK THE WHOLE CREW TO FIND YOU IN 2 DAYS😭😭

“Ewww…welp found them Charlie!” Alastor said picking you up over his shoulder with a wide grin as he slides down the dump stash.

You are in charge of the lost and found section of the hotel as you just go in room and find shit. I mean you would love to keep them to yourself but Charlie and vaggie knew you would try to steal. So that’s why they made you in charge of lost and found.

You and Angel once went on a hot girl shopping spree..well actually Angel brought you along since you two bond very well. You two legit bought shades together while Angel dust went shopping with you behind him holding his bags.

I headcannon raccoon! Reader to have a locket of his mom in his pocket at all times because before going to bed they kiss the locket and wish their mom a good night.

Charlie learnt you liked being pet from your head to your back as it helps you sleep better. She squeaks at your rare cuteness as she hears you let out a few cute snores.

You stole from husk making him grumble looking for his wallet only to see you come back whistling holding a bunch of groceries.

“Let me guess, you stole my fuckin' wallet?” “Whattt me stole whooo?” You said with a smirk putting down the groceries for husk as he grumbles snatching his wallet from you.

Husk and you have a weird friendship dynamic. It’s like you two hate but like each other. So it’s basically frenemies

When the angel fell down and came to fight, what did you do? Bitch you stole their heaven bucks and dead angel’s weapons. If you can’t beat em, wait for them to die😍

Adam literally seen you stealing money from tel he angels and was going to kill you when he felt his pockets…HIS WALLET WAS GONE?! HOW TF DID YOU TAKE HIS WALLET?!

“THAT LITTLE THIEVING SHIT TOOK MY WALLET?!” “ BUT SIR! THAT IMPOSSIBLE?” “NO SHIT!” Adam retorts at lute as Adam grumbles seeing your figure run away

After Adam had died, you ran his pockets…😭 devious ass shit-

The hotel crew just gave you a shocked looked after you stole half of his possessions.

You and Angel dust literally just be chilling and mess with husk a lot 😭 so now husk got two Italians annoying him lmao

Sir Pentious doesn’t like you because of how you sometimes sneak into his room or lab and steal some of his stuff just so you can have a little stash of something to remember the good old days when you were alive.

Sooner or later, you had given Pentious his stuff back remembering your mom might be in heaven. You miss her cooking.

I imagine raccoon! Reader to be a mama’s boy🤨☝🏾

You’re so use to playing dead as a raccoon, as you literally played dead in front of husk and angel making them scared you actually died….yeah you told them it was a prank and they got mad to the point they locked you out of the hotel.

“GUYS! LET ME IN DAMNIT! IT WAS JUST A JOKE! FELLAS?!”

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munsonkitten · 1 month ago

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high and lonesome

a late 4/20 fic | read on AO3 | 5700 words | Rated M

tags: weed, paranoia, getting together, first date + kiss, sharing a bed

Eddie starts smoking a lot of weed when he gets out of the hospital. Not that he didn’t before, but he smokes a lot more now than he did before the hospital and everything that put him there.

It helps with the pain, of course. And he just likes it. Sue him.

Well, he used to like it a lot more than he does now. Now that he knows monsters are real and shit, the subtle paranoia he always got before has ramped up to, like, two hundred percent. Only when he’s too high, which is good. He tends to know his limits except for when he doesn’t, except for when he gets a really good batch that hits him a little too hard, except for when he decides to ignore all his limits in favor of getting so fucked up he can’t move.

It helps with the pain. That’s what matters.

Except now it’s dark out and Eddie keeps hearing shit outside and he’s so high he’s convincing himself there’s something interdimensional out there even if he knows there isn’t. He wishes he had a big guard dog, maybe he could find a stray and bring it home. Wayne probably wouldn’t mind Eddie having a little protection when he’s home alone at night. Now that the whole town wants him dead, even if the Hawkins Post cleared his name two months ago.

Yeah, he’ll get a dog one of these days. Train it to bark at everyone except him and Wayne and maybe the kids, and okay the dog can like Steve, too. But only because Eddie likes Steve.

Eddie really likes Steve. It would be wrong to make his dog bark at him.

There’s another crash outside and Eddie’s heart thumps in his chest, and his entire body jumps off the couch, and he knows it’s just a raccoon trying to get into his neighbors’ trash because Eddie’s seen the creature out there every night this week, and in fact just saw it while he was sitting on the step soaking up the pleasant night breeze while he smoked the last couple puffs that put him in too fucking much territory.

It still scares the shit out of him when he hears it, even if he knows it’s out there, that’s all he’s saying.

If he had a dog, it would scare the raccoon away.

Or maybe his dog would get rabies.

That would fucking suck.

Eddie knows how rough rabies shots are. He wouldn’t wish that on his worst enemy, and certainly not his imaginary dog who protects him from the things that lurk outside.

And now he’s thinking about the shit that lurks outside, and he really needs this high to subside a bit so he can think about this a little more rationally. Except rationality goes out the window when monsters are fucking real and Eddie almost died because of them.

Fuck.

He’s gotta call someone before he crawls out of his skin.

It’s getting kind of late which means his options are pretty limited. Most of his friends live with their parents and don’t have their own phone lines. He could probably get away with calling Nancy, but she’s got a lot going on these days and Eddie knows she needs her sleep. He could run across the trailer park and tap on Ronnie’s window since she’s home for the summer, but he’s honestly too scared to go outside right now, and he’s not calling and waking up Granny Ecker at this hour, so Ronnie’s a bust, too.

That pretty much just leaves Steve.

Steve, whose parents aren’t home most nights, and Steve would has a direct phone line right to his bedroom, but also Steve, who Eddie’s been kind of avoiding since he got out of the hospital because he likes Steve just a little too much in a way that freaks him out because he knows every time he sees Steve it gets worse and worse, and right now he’s so fucking stoned he’s not sure he won’t just spill his guts to the guy if he calls him.

But Eddie’s too fucking scared not to call him.

He makes a point to reread Steve’s phone number five times before he attempts to punch it in, and then because his head isn’t on right, he hangs up halfway through another three times because he thinks he’s gotten it wrong. Chances are, he’s got it right every time, but he isn’t confident until try number four.

“Hello?”

Steve’s voice is clear on the other end, which takes Eddie by surprise because he thought for sure Steve would be sleeping at this hour. He sounds wide awake, though, almost like a midnight call is super normal and expected.

“Uh,” Eddie says. “Hey, Harrington. It’s —”

“Eddie, hey,” Steve says. “What’s going on, man?”

“Sorry for calling so late.”

Eddie rests his forehead against the wall next to the phone and takes a breath. He’s too aware of how he’s breathing right now, of the way the plastic of the phone feels under his fingers, too aware of the way his teeth feel in his mouth.

“No, it’s alright. I was up. You okay?”

“Hm,” Eddie grunts. Neither a yes or a no.

“Gonna need more than that.”

“Yeah, no, yeah. I’m… I’m alright. Nothing, uh, life threatening, or anything. Just… Needed to talk to someone. You said if I needed — well, I know it was a while ago, but you said I could call.”

He doesn’t really wanna tell Steve why. Like, how embarrassing that the town dealer can’t handle his own pot, you know? But he can’t risk Steve hanging up right now, and he needs to say something, and needing someone feels embarrassing to admit, too, but Eddie tells himself it’s better than the alternative.

“No, yeah, of course, Eddie. Do you wanna come over?” Steve asks. “I get it, man. You can come over if that’ll help.”

“Ah,” Eddie says, gripping the phone a little bit tighter. “No, nah. I, uh, no. Can’t really drive right now.”

He feels like he could fuck up getting a glass of water right now. Getting behind the wheel like this would probably result in someone dying. If he felt like he could make it outside in the first place.

“Oh,” Steve says softly. “That’s okay, man. Did you want me to come over instead?”

“You don’t have to.”

“It’s really not a big deal,” Steve says. “I’ll come by, alright? Will you be okay for, like, ten minutes?”

Eddie nods before realizing Steve can’t see him through the phone. “Yeah, yeah. Okay. Thanks.”

He hangs up and heads down the hall to his bedroom. The floor is a mess, covered in dirty clothes and empty beer cans. He should clean up, but he knows he isn’t going to make much of a dent in this state.

He sits down on his bed and starts picking up the underwear and dirty socks scattered around at his feet. They nearly make it to the laundry basket when he tosses them, but he doesn’t make any attempt to adjust his aim.

It’s hard to tell how long he sits there trying to think of what needs to go in the laundry basket and what needs to be thrown in the garbage. This should be easy, even when Eddie’s smoked a little too much, but he’s so far gone he would rather just not think at all. Not thinking at all seems like the best course of action.

By the time he hears Steve’s tires on the gravel outside, he’s barely made any progress on his bedroom. Maybe Steve will be fine sitting on the couch in the living room instead of hanging out in Eddie’s bedroom. Eddie doesn’t even know why he automatically assumed Steve would want to be in his bedroom at all.

Steve lets himself in, and Eddie realizes it’s probably a really bad idea to keep the front door unlocked when he’s like this. Anyone could come in and do anything they want to him, and if they were trying to hurt him, he’d probably get no warning either. At least Steve announces himself when he comes in, calls out Eddie’s name and makes some noise shutting the door again.

“In here,” Eddie calls back, but Steve probably already guessed that.

He shows up in Eddie’s doorway a second later.

“Hey, man,” Steve says, leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed.

It’s dark in Eddie’s room, but light in the hallway, so when Eddie looks up, he can barely make out the look on Steve’s face. He might be smiling, or maybe grimacing over the mess in Eddie’s room. It’s hard to tell.

Steve doesn’t turn on the light.

“You hungry?” Steve asks.

Eddie thinks for a second and then nods.

“Let’s go to the diner.”

“Oh, uh.”

He doesn’t think he should leave if he’s being perfectly honest. It feels like he’s wearing a sign on his forehead that says “I’M HIGH OFF ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES, PLEASE CALL THE COPS ON ME,” so he doesn’t really know if going to the diner is the best idea.

“It’s alright,” Steve says. “My treat.”

Which isn’t what Eddie was worried about even if he doesn’t have more than a couple dollars in his wallet right now, but he doesn’t think Steve would understand if he explains his problem, so he just nods instead.

“Let me, um,” Eddie starts, looking around his room. “Shoes.”

“Your white ones? They’re by the front door. I’ll go get them, okay?”

“Okay, but—”

“It’s alright, man,” Steve says again.

“Steve,” Eddie tries. “I’m really high.”

“I know.”

“Okay,” Eddie breathes.

With that squared away, Eddie feels a little bit better about the whole thing.

“I’ll get your shoes, you just take a minute,” Steve says, then he turns and leaves Eddie’s room again.

Eddie takes a minute to breathe, like pulling normal air into his lungs will replace everything he smoked and take him down a few notches. In the end, he doesn’t feel any less stoned, but Steve returns with his shoes in his hand and Eddie has to focus on putting them on his feet.

Without asking, Steve squats down and starts tying them for Eddie.

“You don’t have to do that,” Eddie mutters.

“I know,” Steve says, moving on to the other one. “Just let me help you out, okay?”

So Eddie lets him and then accepts the hand Steve offers to pull him up off the bed.

Outside, Eddie scans the immediate area for any signs of the raccoon, and even when he doesn’t see it, he walks to the car as quickly as possible. He doesn’t even consider the raccoon could’ve been hiding under his stairs waiting to swipe at his ankles until after he’s safe in the car.

As Steve drives, Eddie feels like he’s still getting higher, like those last puffs are just now kicking in after he was already too high. Maybe it’s all in his head.

He knows, realistically, that this won’t last forever, but it doesn’t feel like the end is in sight. He should have just gone to bed as soon as it got too scary for him, shouldn’t have called Steve in the middle of the night, or should’ve told him not to come over at all.

“C’mon,” Steve says when they’re parked. “There’s nobody here.”

Eddie’s surprised to see Jonathan Byers in uniform when they walk in. He seems to be the only employee on the front end of the diner, but Eddie can hear music and voices in the kitchen. Steve’s right, there’s no one else dining right now. It makes it a lot easier for Eddie to feel comfortable, to ease his worries about someone figuring out what’s wrong with him.

He must’ve known Jonathan was working tonight and picked this place because obviously Byers isn’t gonna care that Eddie is blasted out of his mind.

“Hey,” Jonathan says when they come in. He throws the towel he was using to wipe down a table over his shoulder and gets them a couple menus from the host stand. “Booth or counter?”

“We’ll take a booth, man, thanks,” Steve says before Eddie can even process the question.

Jonathan brings them over to the booth he just finished wiping down, and sets their menus on opposite sides of the table.

The old booth upholstery has seen better days and Eddie picks the side with less cracks in it, knowing the chain on his wallet will catch and stick in one of the holes. He’s too high to even think about detaching himself if it comes down to it.

“Can I get you guys anything to drink?” Jonathan asks.

“Water,” Eddie mumbles, resting his head against the window while Steve messes with the jukebox on the table.

“I’ll take a Coke, thanks,” Steve answers. “Ed, you sure you don’t want a pop?”

“Water.”

“If you change your mind, just wave me down,” Jonathan says.

It’s only been a few months since the Byers got back to town, but Jonathan already has a job. Eddie’s been applying to places ever since he quit the Hideout two years ago, and none of the places have even bothered calling back. He knows why — he’s accepted it, but that doesn’t completely tamp down the bitterness in his throat over it.

He picks up the menu on the table instead.

“I can’t even think about this,” Eddie mumbles to himself.

“Doing okay?” Steve asks.

Eddie grunts in response and nods once. He just needs some water and then he’ll be able to think about this menu and what he wants to eat.

“What are you thinking?” Steve asks. “Breakfast or burger? They have the full menu all the time.”

“Yes,” Eddie agrees. “I mean — uh.”

Steve chuckles across the table. “Get both if you want.”

Eddie sinks a bit in his seat, feeling a little embarrassed over the entire thing. All of it, from getting too high, to calling Steve, to needing help tying his shoes like he’s a little kid, to this — Steve’s kindness and understanding.

He doesn’t want to feel this way, like he’s some idiot that needs caring for just because he can't handle his pot like he used to.

A hand covers his on top of his menu, and Eddie glances up, across the table, to see the softest, kindest eyes he’s ever seen in his life. A light smile, something reassuring and not at all patronizing, like maybe Steve just really wants to be helpful.

“Get whatever you want, Ed.”

So Eddie nods and focuses a little bit harder on the menu, so by the time Jonathan comes back with his water, he’s able to order.

“Can I do a cheeseburger? And maybe, like… a side of scrambled eggs. But not, like, instead of fries. I want eggs and fries. And bacon,” Eddie says. “And bacon on the burger, too.”

Jonathan snorts and writes it all down, then takes Steve’s order.

“Hey, man, do you have anything on you?” Jonathan asks before he leaves to give the order to the kitchen.

Eddie shakes his head. “Come by Forest Hills after your shift, though.”

“I’m glad you called me,” Steve says when Jonathan leaves. “I was getting pretty hungry. Thought about coming here by myself, even.”

That could be a lie, but Steve says it so earnestly, Eddie just has to believe him. He starts to feel a little bit better about it.

Eddie drinks all of his water before the food comes, and then asks for a cup of coffee and another water. He pours more sugar in the coffee than probably necessary, but Steve doesn’t say anything about it.

The meal might be the best thing he’s ever eaten in his life.

Steve gives him a piece of his sausage in exchange for a piece of bacon, and Eddie wishes he ordered a side of that, too.

When Jonathan brings them the check, Steve doesn’t let Eddie see it and refuses his offer to pay for his half. Eddie thinks he’ll figure out a way to pay Steve back for it, maybe by washing his car, or cleaning the leaves out of his pool, or maybe he’ll send Steve home with a joint or two after he drops him off.

On the drive back, Eddie feels a lot more like himself than he did on the drive there. He feels stupid for needing to call Steve. It’s not like he’s never been too high before, and he’s handled it just fine in the past.

It’s just different now.

And he hasn’t seen Steve more than a few times since everything happened, and okay, so maybe he missed the guy a little bit. This is nice, having a midnight diner run with a friend. It’s been a while since he’s had this and it reminds him of late nights with his band after they finish a show. He did this with Ronnie a lot, the few times they made enough money at a gig to get dinner afterwards.

Something about sitting in a booth with cracked upholstery for hours while he sips shitty coffee and smokes too many cigarettes — it’s these nights that he knows he’ll look back on when he’s fifty.

He just hopes that when he looks back, Steve’s still in his life. And a stupid, pathetic part of him hopes it’s because Steve has a big fat crush on him, like the one Eddie has on Steve. That stupid, lovesick part of him hopes they spend their lives together and think about this as one of their first dates, and look back at it and laugh over Eddie being too stoned to say more than five words the entire time.

If he can’t have that thirty years down the line, though, he’ll settle for this night going on just a little while longer.

“Still doing okay?” Steve asks. “Feel any better?”

“Yeah,” Eddie answers. He tries to clear some of the creeping dryness out of his throat. “Can you, uh, stop at the gas station by me, maybe?”

“Sure thing.”

As soon as the car stops in front of the gas station, Eddie realizes this might have been a bad idea. His legs don’t quite feel right, and he thinks if he gets out of the car he’ll walk funny and make a fool of himself. And that’s not even considering how he’ll act when he actually gets inside and has to make a decision about what he wants or when he has to count his money at the counter.

“Sorry, I—” Eddie starts. “Never mind, I don’t really need anything.”

“Hey,” Steve says softly. “What’s the problem?”

“I’m just,” Eddie groans. “Still not feeling right.”

“What do you want? I’ll go in,” Steve says.

“No, that’s okay. You can just take me home.”

“Well, I need cigarettes, so.”

And then Steve gets out of the car, leaving Eddie alone in the deserted parking lot.

Eddie quickly gets out and follows him in, not wanting to be alone in the middle of the night so close to the woods. He finds Steve standing in front of the drink case, hands on his hips while he looks over all the options.

“Cans of pop are discounted if you get two,” Steve says. “But I’ll probably only drink one, so…”

“I—”

“You might as well get one,” Steve adds. “I was thinking about a big bag of chips, too, did you want some?”

“Okay,” Eddie agrees, a little reluctant.

Steve seems to be on a mission, and Eddie doesn’t want to get in the way of it.

He does put cash on the counter for his own stuff when they get up there, not wanting to make Steve pay for everything tonight. He gets a pack of cigarettes, too, watching as the cashier bags everything up into one bag for the both of them.

“Do you wanna, like, hang out?” Eddie asks when they make it back to the trailer park. “I just… It’s hard being here at night. And I’m pretty sure if you leave, I’m just gonna start smoking again, and I think I’ll just freak myself out all over again, so, if you wanna stay and hang out, you know… You don’t have to, though. If you’re busy, or whatever. I know I called you out of the blue.”

“Yeah, I’ll hang out,” Steve says easily. “Might fall asleep on you, though. Haven’t, uh, been sleeping great lately, so.”

“Hey, if you’re tired, just drop me off, it’s cool, dude, go get some sleep.”

“No, man, that’s not — I mean, I have a hard time being alone, too. That’s all I’m saying. It’s always easier, in my experience — at least — to, you know, fall asleep with someone else breathing in the room.”

“Alright,” Eddie says. He won’t argue with that. “Just, you know, Wayne’ll get home in a few hours and he sleeps on the pull out in the living room, so you’ll have to bunk with me. And my bed’s not all that big, so I hope you don’t mind the inevitability of me kicking you in my sleep.”

Steve snorts. “I think we can make it work.”

The thing is, now that Eddie’s not so fucked up, he remembers he set out some magazines before he smoked. thinking he’d get just high enough that jerking off feels like the best thing in the entire world. That means there’s gay porn sitting on his nightstand when they make it into his bedroom, and Steve sees it before Eddie can shove it back under his mattress.

“Um,” Eddie says, feeling caught.

“It’s all good, man,” Steve says. Like it’s really just all good. Like it’s not proof Eddie’s a faggot freak who likes muscly men in jockstraps. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.”

Which, right, because Steve’s pretty muscly, and probably has his fair share of jockstraps, being an athlete and all that, which honestly makes the whole situation a million times worse.

“If you wanna leave now, I get it,” Eddie says.

“Huh? No, dude, I’m — I mean, me too, you know?”

“You too?”

What?

“I’m, like,” Steve says, waving his hand vaguely like the words will just present themselves. “I’m into… That. Men. Sometimes.”

“Oh.”

“So, I’m not weirded out, or anything.”

They just stand there looking at each other, and Eddie can’t help but notice the pink rising in Steve’s cheeks over it all, and Eddie can’t even say anything because he’s been bright red since he realized what was sitting out in the open, so.

So.

“Cool,” he says. “That’s cool, man. Thanks for, uh, telling me, and all of that. I won’t — I mean, obviously I won’t tell anyone, you know? And I mean, I — People already think they know about me, but don’t, I mean. I don’t want them to actually know, so—”

“I won’t tell anyone, either,” Steve promises. “C’mon, let’s…”

He toes off his shoes and unzips his jacket, laying it carefully over Eddie’s vest on his desk chair.

“Shoes off,” Steve tells him before squatting down to start untying them for Eddie.

“You don’t have to—”

“I’m going to,” Steve says. “Just let me help you out, Eddie. You’re still baked.”

“Not that bad anymore,” Eddie mumbles.

But he lets Steve do it, and then lets him slide his hands under the opening of Eddie’s leather jacket, slipping it over his shoulders.Steve’s practically undressing him after saying he likes guys, too, and it’s — fuck, it’s weird, but not at all unwelcome.

“Do you sleep in your jeans?” Steve asks after laying Eddie’s jacket over his own.

“Boxers, usually, but, um,” Eddie starts. “I have pajama pants I can put on since, y’know.”

“Whatever you’re comfortable in. Could I borrow some pants?”

Eddie nods and goes to his dresser, rifling through the drawers of clothes he doesn’t wear too often anymore. There’s a pair of sweats at the bottom of one that should fit Steve, so he tosses them over, and starts to look for something for himself.

“Hey, man, if you sleep in your underwear, I’m not gonna be weird about it,” Steve says as he drops his jeans to the floor.

Eddie tries not to look, but he does anyway. Clad in just a polo and a pair of tighty whiteys, Steve looks like all of Eddie’s fantasies. He shakes the thoughts away and goes back to his mission. He needs another layer between them so it’s harder to feel his dick when he inevitably chubs up laying beside Steve.

“It gets kind of cold in here,” Eddie lies.

It’s the middle of July.

“Okay,” Steve says instead of calling him on it.

The air between them has shifted considerably, and now that Eddie’s sobering up, he doesn’t even have the excuse of being high to explain why he’s acting so weird. It’s not every day the guy you’ve been fantasizing about for as long as you can remember shows up wanting to borrow your clothes and share a bed with you. Eddie is entirely out of his depth here.

“Do you want some?” Eddie asks, holding up a baggy of bud and a couple joints he rolled earlier.

“I don’t think you should have more,” Steve says carefully.

“I’m coming down a little too fast,” Eddie says. “Just need… Like three hits to sleep.”

Steve eyes him for a second and then nods.

“Okay, just… Just a little for me, too, then,” he agrees.

And that’s how he ends up with Steve Harrington high and giggly in his bed as they laugh about… Something. Eddie can’t remember now that he’s staring at Steve’s lips, now that he’s taking another puff of the joint Steve’s smoking most of. He passes it, watches as Steve brings it to his mouth, pinched between two long fingers, and oh fuck, Eddie’s gotta look away before he does something stupid, but he can’t.

“You good?” Steve asks with a little laughter in his words. A beautiful smile on his lips as he takes another puff. Smoke swirls in the air between them. Oh wow, they’re a lot closer than Eddie realized.

“Mhm.”

“This stuff’s good,” Steve says, giving it back.

“Mhm,” Eddie agrees, handing it back without smoking any more. “I think, uh. I’ve probably had enough for now, though. Finish it if you want.”

He probably shouldn’t have lit this one up to begin with. He doesn't know how to act while he’s this close to Steve.

“Mhm,” Steve parrots after another small hit. He hands it back. “Me too, put it out.”

Eddie has to reach over Steve’s body to put it in the ashtray and Steve shifts to give him more room, but then when Eddie comes back, Steve shifts again. He slips his arm around Eddie’s shoulders, giving him no choice but to press in close.

“I’m glad you called me,” Steve says when Eddie’s settled against him.

He feels so warm, cheeks heating up awfully quick over the position they’re in.

Steve’s fingers are playing with the ends of his hair, brushing against Eddie’s back with little electrifying grazes.

“Shit,” Eddie breathes to himself.

This is not happening. He’s dreaming this. His shit was laced and it’s all a hallucination.

But god, it feels so real. It has to be real. It just doesn’t make any sense.

“You okay?” Steve asks softly, tilting his head so it rests against Eddie’s. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,” Eddie breathes. “You’re killing me, though.”

Steve hums in response, just a little hm, of acknowledgment.

“I’m really glad you called me,” Steve says again. “Been wanting to see you, but I wasn’t sure.”

“Wasn’t sure about what?”

Steve shrugs. “Just didn’t think you wanted to be friends, you know? I wasn’t the greatest guy back in high school. My friends were really mean to you. Just thought, you know, maybe we save the world once in a while, and never see each other in between. I don’t know.”

“I wanted to,” Eddie says. “I’ve thought about it a lot.”

“Why didn’t you call sooner?”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Toosh.”

“It’s touché,” Eddie snorts.

“Whatever. Yeah, that.”

Eddie presses his laughter into Steve’s neck, letting his hand find a place on Steve’s stomach.

“So we’re both kind of stupid,” Eddie says. “If we wanted to be friends and neither of us called, I mean.”

“Can I be honest? Like, don’t be weird about it if you don’t… I mean,” Steve starts.

“Yeah, anything. I mean, you saw my porn, dude, I think we’re past being weird about things.”

“Yeah, about that,” Steve says. “It’s… I mean, honestly? If I’m being completely honest, I didn’t really want to be friends, I…”

Where the hell could this even be going? Surely not where Eddie wants it to go.

“When I said I’m into guys sometimes, I meant,” Steve continues, and Eddie holds his breath. “And just so you know, this isn’t just the weed talking, to be perfectly clear. I feel this way when I’m not high, okay? I just happen to be right now while I’m telling you.”

“Yeah, okay.” Please just tell me.

“I really want to kiss you.”

“Oh,” Eddie breathes.

“But if you don’t feel the same, just tell me, okay? I won’t be mad. I know not all gay guys like every guy in the world, so I get it if you don’t.”

“Steve?”

“Yeah?”

“I’d let you kiss me.”

Steve slides down on the bed, no longer propped up against the wall and the pillows, but now laying on his side facing Eddie. He leans forward, just a little bit, hesitant like he isn’t quite sure Eddie wants this.

At Eddie’s slight nod, Steve’s eyes slip shut and he moves closer again, nose nudging against Eddie’s, foreheads bumping, but not their lips. Not yet. Eddie just stays where he is, letting Steve lead into this with soft, hesitant bumps of their noses. He wonders if Steve’s ever hesitant like this with anyone else, he wonders if Steve’s as nervous as Eddie is right now.

“You sure?” Steve breathes against his lips. “If you’re not sure, just tell me, we can table this for another time.”

“Steve,” Eddie whispers, a hint of a whine working its way up his throat. “Please.”

And Steve kisses him, just barely at first, like he’s waiting for Eddie to pull away, but Eddie doesn’t. He won’t. Not even as Steve creates a breath of space between them, his heavy eyelids opening so they can look at each other in the dim lamplight.

“Eddie,” he breathes like he just can’t believe they’re here. “Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.”

And then Steve kisses him again, one hand coming up to brush Eddie’s hair from his face, tucking it tenderly behind his ear as he does it. Steve tastes like weed, but then Eddie does too, and that makes him laugh into Steve’s mouth, just a little chuckle that has Steve pulling away to look at him with confusion furrowing his brow.

“I’m just happy right now,” Eddie whispers.

Steve swipes his thumb over Eddie’s bottom lip, pressing down on the scar that cuts through the middle of it, following the line down and to the left side of Eddie’s jaw. Another press of lips to his, slotting them together once more. It’s not gonna go much further than this, Eddie can tell, but it’s nice.

“Me too,” Steve whispers. “Are you still gonna be happy in the morning?”

There is no world in which Eddie wouldn’t be happy about kissing Steve Harrington.

He nods. Steve smiles, pressing it into Eddie’s cheek.

“I’m really glad you called me,” Steve says again. “Not scared anymore, are you?”

“No,” Eddie answers. “I feel good.”

“Me too,” Steve agrees.

“Sleepy, though,” Eddie admits.

He knows Steve is feeling the same way, the way his eyes flutter shut and open slower after each blink.

“You should sleep,” Steve tells him, nosing at his face again before stealing another kiss.

“Will you still be here when I wake up?” Eddie asks.

Because Steve can say he’s wanted this, he can say it’s not the weed talking, he can ask Eddie if he’ll still be happy in the morning. But none of that means Steve will actually stick around. Eddie’s been hurt too many times by too many people leaving to not worry.

“I’ll be here. Promise.”

“I’m glad I called, too. Just to be clear,” Eddie tells him.

It earns him another soft kiss, and then Steve’s rolling away.

“Where’re you going?”

“Thirsty.”

He gets their drinks and the chips from the gas station bag, and passes Eddie’s Mountain Dew over to him before cracking open his can of Coke.

Eddie has a few sips of his and has to reach over Steve to put it on his nightstand. Fingers curl around his wrist as he draws it back, and Steve tugs him in close again.

He feels heavy and light all at once, letting himself be moved to Steve’s liking. He ends up with his head on Steve’s chest, Steve playing with the rings on Eddie’s fingers. It’s like they do this all the time, like this isn’t the first time they’ve really hung out post-Vecna.

It’s easy.

Maybe that’s why Eddie called Steve in the first place. He makes everything feel a little bit easier, the way he just knows what to do for the people around them. Like getting someone their shoes and paying for their dinner is just second nature to him.

Steve plays with Eddie’s rings until Eddie can’t stay awake any longer, and maybe he keeps going after Eddie slips away into sleep. If Byers stops by looking to buy, Eddie sleeps right through it. He only wakes briefly when Steve shifts out from under him and comes back a few minutes later, hands smelling like the soap from the bathroom.

He feels the kiss Steve presses into his hair, smiling to himself in his high-induced sleepy haze as Steve curls up around him again.

#steddie #my fics #eddie munson #steve harrington #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steve/eddie #stranger things #steddie fic

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aestknowsbest · 2 months ago

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It was apparently a running joke that Bernard gets his romantic advances and flirtations from media, what with the whole B necklace given to Tim. And I was thinking that romance novels and movies/shows were probably the only actual portrayals of romance that he was exposed to because his parents weren't exactly lovey dovey and quite frankly they seem like they don't want to be together at all.

This is something that I personally experience actually, so maybe it's a little bit of projection speaking here. But either way I wanted to think about Bernard seeing things in a romantic subtext in full for the first time and it jumpstarting him reading romance novel after romance novel to get a glimpse of what love is supposed to be, how others see it and show it. So now he has a very.... special way of communicating his adoration for people. Like the freak he is (the theatre electives didn't help any either, I'm sure.)

Bernard: "Do you ever think about how the curve of your neck and the dip of your collar bone is moulded perfectly for the sole intent of cradling the head of another?"

Tim: "Is this your way of asking for cuddles?"

Bernard, already making grabbing hands: "Absolutely. Come here."

Bernard: "How completely and utterly tragic it is that in life, death is a guarantee but love isn't."

Tim: "Sunbear, we are not taking that rabies-infested raccoon you found in a dumpster behind the bar home to my houseboat and your apartment doesn't allow animals. It was frothing at the mouth, Bernard."

Bernard: "My heart is broken, I will never love again. I bared my pried open ribs to you only to have it clawed at by your very hands."

Tim:

Bernard: (⁠´⁠;⁠︵⁠;⁠`⁠)

Tim:

Tim: "... I'll look into domesticated options for you. It can run around the docks and you can train it to chase your dad."

Bernard: "So this is the warmth through the trees in the deepest darkest depths of winter that poets spoke of. To be known so intimately and cherished so dearly! I could faint."

Tim, rolling his eyes fondly: "If you do, I won't catch you."

Bernard: "Nevermind fuck you actually."

Tim: "I love you too "

Bernard, laying upside down on a sofa with Tim sitting on the floor next to his head and reading: "If cannibalism is synonymous with wanting everything of your lover to the point of consumption, the greed of taking in all they have to offer in willingness or not- even flesh and blood and scraps–"

Tim, typing away on his laptop: "Morbidly curious on where this is going."

Bernard: "Shh, let me finish! I was just wondering how you would taste. What would you prefer to be seasoned with? I'd personally like to be flavoured with honey-glaze, or maybe lemon pepper? Garlic?"

Tim: "Well since humans taste like swine, I supposed there'd need to be a complementary flavour profile. You'd be sweet, and I'd be something distinctly Umami, so I'd settle for smoked or roasted? With paprika."

Bernard: "I love you so much."

Bernard, spoken off-handedly while grocery shopping: "If ever you were to die, I'd harden your heart into stone with calcium and keep it in a case so that I carry you with me always."

Tim, staring longingly at a 30pk case of Monster: "And where is this coming from?"

Bernard: "My mom once read me Mary Shelly's biography as a bedtime story over the course of a week. She carried her husband's heart in her purse after his passing when he drowned in the ocean and his heart didn't turn to ash after his cremation so she snatched it out."

Tim: "Beatrice, frankly, scares me. And I love you too, darling."

Bernard, lying in bed next to Tim and staring at him:

Tim, sighing and rolling over to face him: "Honeybear?"

Bernard, fidgeting with a pillow: "Being near you is like being in a vacuum."

Tim: "That's a new one. Do you want to elaborate?"

Bernard: "It feels like I'm drowning in everything and nothing and like my chest is caving in. It makes me feel heavy and light, it feels like a contradiction. Loving you hurts in a way I'm not used to hurting. It doesn't feel like sacrifice. It makes me feel safe. I don't know if I'm saying this right, it's hard to articulate."

Tim, pulling Bernard close and pressing his nose into his hair: "I know, I understand, Bear. Intrinsically. I love you too."

#just bernard processing loving and being loved #and tims simple endeared acceptance of it #tim: i have no idea whatever the heck youre saying but i love you too honey #bernard: :D #wow this is a long ramble #they make me sick #i wrote this in my room in complete darkness and when my mom came in to turn on the light i hissed #like a vampire #she asked what i was doing and what was i suppsed to say??#writing dernaged yaoi???#that is exactly what i said btw #bernard dowd #tim drake #beatrice dowd #timbern #timber #tim drake x bernard dowd

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dwobbitfromtheshire · 2 years ago

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Wayne was staying with a friend who, unfortunately, couldn't house anyone else, so Eddie would have to continue to stay with Steve while they waited for their new place to be ready. Neither one of them was complaining about it. Wayne decided to prepare Steve for living with Eddie.

"You should know that once he's all healed up, he's probably going to go back to sleepwalking. He does some pretty weird shit when he sleep walks," Wayne said.

"Like what?" Steve asked.

"Oh, you'll find out, son," Wayne replied with a smirk.

"Wait, does this have anything to do with the fact that at the trailer, his lock for his bedroom was on the outside of his door?" Steve asked.

"You'll find out," Wayne smirked and left. "Remember, never wake a sleep walker."

"Okay, that wasn't cryptic at all," Steve said and brought it up with Eddie.

"Oh, yeah, I have no idea what that's about. He's always said he doesn't tell me because he doesn't want to embarrass me," Eddie said, narrowing his eyes. "It makes me wonder if he's fucking with me. I don't think I sleep walk at all."

Shortly after he healed up enough, Steve quickly found out that Eddie did, in fact, sleep walk. Steve had gotten up in the middle of the night to get himself a drink of water when he found Eddie standing behind the kitchen island. He wasn't wearing a shirt, and Steve hoped he wasn't completely naked.

"Just shopping," Eddie said in a thick country accent, his eyes closed.

"Shopping?" Steve couldn't help but ask.

"Baby got bit," Eddie said.

"The baby got bit?" Steve asked, smiling.

"By bat," Eddie said.

"Whose baby?" He asked.

"Our Dusty," Eddie said. "Need meds."

"Well, you don't have to worry about that. I found the ointment and put it on the baby. He's sleeping peacefully. If you go to bed now, I'll show you the cutest little hat Grandpa Wayne bought for Dusty," Steve said, struggling not to laugh.

"Mkay," Eddie said.

He moved out from behind the island and started moving out of the kitchen. Yeah, Eddie was stark naked. Steve tried not to look at his ass as he walked behind him to follow him up the stairs, picking Eddie's discarded clothes as he did so. He followed him into his mother's bedroom and watched as Eddie slipped on one of his mother's flowery nightgowns that she never wore and then fell face forward onto his parents' bed. Steve grinned. He could undress him, put his clothes back on him, and bring him back to his room, or he could leave him there. Steve decided to leave him.

"Quick question," Steve said when he called Wayne.

"He slept walked?" Wayne chortled.

"Yeah, why the hell didn't you warn me that he would do it completely naked?" Steve asked.

"Shit, he usually wears his boxers," Wayne said.

"I guess he did that special just for me," Steve said sarcastically.

"Guess so," he cackled.

"You're a menace," Steve said.

"You know, one time I caught him halfway through the park trying to lure a feral raccoon so he could breastfeed the damn thing. Luckily, I caught him before he could get rabies. I put a lock on the door after that, one of those where you leave the key in the lock," Wayne said.

"Last night, he was shopping for medicine because our baby Dusty got bit by a bat," Steve said.

"Boy must be baby crazy. Well, I figure he's your problem now, son," Wayne said.

"Thanks," Steve replied.

Eddie stumbled in, still wearing his mother's dress.

"What the fuck happened last night?" Eddie asked.

"You slept walked," Steve replied.

"I did not! You take that back!" Eddie shrieked.

"You did. You went shopping in my kitchen completely naked and then put on my mother's dress," Steve said.

"Yeah, right," Eddie scoffed.

"Well, what do you think happened? Do you think that tiny elves kidnapped you, brought you to my mother's room, undressed you, and put my mother's dress on you?"

". . .yes."

Steve groaned and slapped his hand to his face.

"Good luck, you're going to need it," Wayne laughed before hanging up the phone.

Eddie started twirling and squatting right in front of him.

"Ooh, I like the way it swooshes around my legs. I wonder if they have this in black," Eddie said and leaned all the way over to look under the dress, his hair falling forward.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Steve asked.

"Trying to see if I can suck my own dick," Eddie said.

Steve looked at him in disbelief. It was hard to believe that he was going to spend the rest of his life with this guy. He was going to be a part of his life whether Eddie wanted him romantically or platonically. It was going to happen.

Part Two

#stranger things #eddie munson #stranger things s4 #joseph quinn #eddie stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson lives #steddie #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #steddie fanfiction #a little bit of a crack fic #wayne munson #he's a good uncle but he's a menace much like his nephew

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ms-demeanor · 11 months ago

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(Bat 1/?) I fully support your fight to help those feral cats and all you do to educate people about the importance of keeping your damn cats indoors. I wanted to provide another example to your readers about the importance of staying up to date on rabies vaccines, even for fully indoor kitties. I have seven cats and a dog, most of whom sleep with me. Two years ago, I was woken up at 5 am by what I thought was a broken alarm or some crazy digital screeching. A bat somehow got into the house.

Continued:

(Bat 2/?) I quickly closed the bedroom door, locking the dog and three cats inside. Two cats were hunting the bat and had injured its wing, causing it to flop into a room with another cat. I grabbed Friday before she could kill the bat and threw her into a crate I keep in the studio (crates are out at all times and in every room). I threw a box over the injured bat and then found leather gloves. I slid a folder under the box and transferred the bat to another box lined with paper towels.

(Bat 3/?) I made sure I never touched the bat, even with gloves on. Bat was secured in the box for transport to the wildlife center when they opened. And then I isolated Minnow, Fig, and Friday from the other cats. When I got to the rec center, she said they could repair the bat's wing, but the exposed cats needed to get rabies boosters ASAP and she was required to report the incident to the CDC. My cats rabies vaccines were out of date, but they had them in the past and I had proof.

(Bat 4/4) Having proof of those past vaccines literally saved their lives. The CDC could have seized them and put them down. The vet said I had to quarantine them for 40 days- no petting or handling them; just give them food, water, and clean the boxes. It was hell for them and me and Minnow still won't go near a large crate years later. I escaped needing shots myself because I never touched the bat. So, yeah, get your indoor pets vaccinated! You never know when a bat or raccoon will get in.

That is so scary and such a great example of why it's important to keep vaccines up to date! Good job on your quick thinking with the box to trap the vet, and on isolating your animals to keep them safe! I'm so glad you and your pets weren't hurt beyond the stress of the extended quarantine!

The CDC and local health departments are *extremely, extremely* serious about possible rabies infections, so having proof of vaccination can be a literal lifesaver for your pets and getting them vaccinated is good peace of mind for you.

It *terrifies* me that Tiny Bastard has interacted with skunks recently and I don't think she's gotten close enough to be at risk but even if she had I know exactly when she's due for her rabies vaccine so I know that she's current and safe even though she got closer than I would like to a wild animal.

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reijisteacup · 12 days ago

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Can you do a scenario where they get like a really silly sacrificial bride who makes dark humor jokes and calls them humanoid mosquitoes and randomly drinks monster and gets shaky and violent afterwards because of all the caffeine and aggressively bites them for no reason.

This is me core

YESSS THIS IS MEE TOO TWINNN <3333

=================================================================================================

Sakamaki's

Shu Sakamaki:

At first, he ignored her. A sacrificial bride with a death wish? Fine. Less work for him. But then she climbed onto his couch, knocked his headphones off, and bit his shoulder hard. “Are you feral!?” She licked her lips. “You taste like wet dog and childhood trauma.” He genuinely considered calling Karlheinz.

Reiji Sakamaki:

He tried to educate her. Tried to instill discipline. Structure. Dignity. But every time he lectured her, she stared blankly and whispered: “God, you sound like a tax accountant. Bite me.” “I intend to.” “Promise?” He banned energy drinks. She started making her own in the garden. She called it “Witch Juice.” It burned a hole through the marble.

Laito Sakamaki:

“Oh~ such a naughty little thing. Kinky, ne~?” She blinked once. “Do you want rabies? Because I’ll give you rabies.” Then she bit his neck like an angry toddler and screamed “BLEED FOR MY ART!” Even he needed a moment after that.

Kanato Sakamaki:

He was intrigued by her… erratic behavior. Until she called Teddy “Build-A-Bear’s goth cousin” and tried to offer him Monster. He screamed. She screamed. Everyone screamed. The windows shattered. When he finally tried to drain her, she whispered, “Careful. I had five Red Bulls and a gummy bear today. My blood might legally count as an energy drink.” He spat her out.

Ayato Sakamaki:

Thought she was gonna be an easy snack. Until she bit him first. While laughing. “Hey! You don’t get to do the biting, Chichinashi!” “Sorry, I thought we were playing ‘Who’s the Bigger Parasite.’ Guess I won.” Cue Ayato chasing her through the halls, fangs bared, her screaming “MOSQUITO MAN DETECTED—DEPLOYING REPELLENT” and throwing holy water like it’s a Nerf war.

Subaru Sakamaki:

Poor, poor Subaru. He tried to be patient. Nice, even. But she snuck up on him, poked his arm, and said, “Hey. Do vampires get heart attacks? Because I think I’m about to give you one.” She then chugged half a Monster, screamed like a war god, and sprinted full-speed into a wall. He just left the room. Nope.

Mukami's

Ruki Mukami:

He thought she was a “livestock anomaly” at first — defective, but manageable. Then she kicked open the manor door, chugged a Monster in three gulps, and screamed: “HELLO POLYESTER DRACULAS, YOUR BRIDE HAS ARRIVED. WHO WANTS TO DIE FIRST?!” He dropped his book. When he tried to scold her for her “utter lack of refinement,” she made unblinking eye contact and whispered: “Your hair makes you look like a rejected Final Fantasy villain.” She bit him later for calling her ‘livestock.’ He had a mark for three days. Ruki locked himself in the library for 72 hours. He now mutters her name like a curse.

Kou Mukami:

At first, he thought it was all an act. “She’s just quirky~ That manic pixie cryptid energy is kinda cute~” Then she punched a hole through his fan mail pile during a caffeine rampage and told his stuffed rabbit: “You’re next, Rabbit Satan.” She tried to bite him mid-photo shoot, eyes wild, pupils two different sizes. He screamed. She screamed. The camera guy screamed. And when he bled a little, she licked her lips and said: “Mmm~ glitter blood. Tastes like clout.” Kou has been sleeping with the door locked ever since.

Yuma Mukami:

He honestly liked her. At first. Girl had bite — literally. The first time they argued, she lunged for his forearm and gnawed like a rabid raccoon. “WHAT THE HELL—?!” She didn’t even answer. Just wiped her mouth and went, “You taste like fertilizer and unresolved daddy issues.” He tackled her into a bush. She started calling him “Corn Daddy.” He pretends to hate her, but honestly? She's the only person who’s ever scared him without even trying.

Azusa Mukami:

Wasn't scared. At all. No, he was enthralled. She bit him? He smiled. She barked at the others like a demon chihuahua on six Monsters? He laughed softly. Called her "warm chaos." “Do you… want to bite me again…? Harder this time?” She blinked. “You’re kinda weird. I like that. Wanna shotgun Monster together and commit minor arson?” Cue the most deranged, soft-spoken duo in vampire history. Everyone avoids them now. They’ve started a caffeine cult.

Tsukinami's

Carla Tsukinami:

The King of Vampires met her, and she called him a “premium Dollar Tree Dracula.” He nearly killed her on the spot.

Nearly.

But the way she downed a Monster mid-sentence and growled “fight me, powdered donut boy” before lunging at him with a feral bite? That… intrigued him. “You are either utterly brainless… or a divine glitch.” She responded by asking if his cloak was made of dead IKEA curtains.

Carla has not been the same since.

Shin Tsukinami:

He laughed his ass off. “What are you, a rabid possum? What’s wrong with your blood pressure?” She bit him out of nowhere — no warning, no seduction, just CHOMP. “NOW YOU’RE MARKED BY THE GOBLIN QUEEN!” she screamed, eyes twitching from her sixth Monster. Shin didn’t even fight back. He wheezed. He cried. He might’ve imprinted on her. “I think I’m in love,” he whispered, holding his bitten wrist like it was sacred.

#diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers fanfiction #ask me anything #x reader #relationship #ask response

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lunaetis · 1 year ago

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[ these biting asks are getting longer as i try to find reasonings as to why eden would bite random ppl and found none. ]

#.ooc #.mobile #[ she just ... bites #aLSO ARE YOU GUYS NOT AFRAID SHE MIGHT HAVE RABIES ???? ( she doesn't )#LETTING A RANDOM RACCOON BITE YOUR MUSES LIKE THIS ???#( no really i love you guys sm for enabling this menace thank u for my life )#I NEED TO DRIVE TO THE EVENT I'LL SEND MORE LATER ]

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insomniatrical · 2 years ago

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what type of bitch every creepypasta is💀

What type of bitch every creepypastas is💀😭 (Updated- May 27, 2025)

Jeff the killer - the type of bitch who will act like he’s cool but is suddenly scared when you pull out a lighter.

Slenderman - the type of bitch who acts like a mom

Ben drowned - the type of bitch who purposely annoys everyone

Sally - the type of bitch who pretends to be innocent but she’s really a little trouble maker

Puppeteer - the type of bitch who will manipulate you and than gaslight you.

Eyeless Jack - the type of bitch who would use you as a dummy for medical practice lmao

Jason the Toymaker - the type of bitch who hoards all of his belongings

Laughing Jack - the type of bitch who makes really shitty jokes that only a few think are actually funny

Laughing Jill - the type of bitch who gives off horse girl vibes.

Nathan the nobody - the type of bitch that has way to bad anger issues

Nina the killer - the type of bitch that acts like a pick me.

Lazari - the type of bitch you would have to push off a building just to get her to move

Jane the killer - the type of bitch who makes every argument about Jeff

Ticci-Toby - the type of bitch who will cause an accident and then say “wasn’t me.” Then blame it on one of his close friends.

Masky - the type of bitch who needs to chill tf out on smoking and alcohol

Hoodie - the type of bitch who seems really straight but he’s really gay with Masky.

Candy Pop - the type of bitch that has mood swings worse than a woman on her period.

Vine the DollMaker - the type of bitch that sits like L and will threaten you with scissors

Lulu - the type of bitch who is really shy

Suicide Sadie - the type of bitch who will start an argument with you and then beat the shit out of you

Kagekao - the type of bitch who gives everyone ‘cutesy’ nicknames…

Trenderman - the type of bitch who will hold a whole ass photoshoot at the mansion

Offenderman - the type of bitch who is literally, canonically, a rapist.

Splendorman - the type of bitch who isn’t actually a bitch and is just really fucking wholesome and sweet

Nurse Ann - the type of bitch who has resting bitch face.

Papa grande - the type of bitch who acts and sounds like Caine from TADC

Smile dog - the type of bitch who will bite you….cause why tf not?

Dr. Smiley - the type of bitch who will just randomly start manically laughing outta no where.

Hobo heart - the type of bitch who will literally steal your heart

Asylum Nancy - the type of bitch who is way too fucking happy and hyper up all the damn time

Stripes - the type of bitch who will have a full on mental breakdown because they saw something adorable or saw a fit, beautiful woman and got jealous

Sadiya - the type of redneck, cowgirl, western bitch.

Clockwork - the type of bitch who will punch you when she laughs

Zero - the type of bitch who always fucking brags about how cool she is.

homicidal liu since @my-jukebox reminded me!: The type of bitch that has his inner emo alpha wolf side.

Ani the wight - the type of bitch who is sorry for herself just because she messes one thing up

Anna Shurcks - The type of bitch who blasts ac/dc when she’s upset

Ally the slenderdoll - the type of bitch who acts like…well..A BITCH???!

Candy cane - the type of bitch who is way way way too violent for her personality and fashion sense (will strangle you)

Carmen winstead - The type of bitch that is the demon behind you when you wash your face in the shower.

The expressionless - the type of bitch to say “I didn’t do that” when they very OBVIOUSLY DID THAT!!!

Evil - the type of bitch to use riddles n shit to confuse people

Freddy the butcher - The type of bitch you literally have to spray with a water bottle to get him to stfu

Bloody painter - the type of bitch who listens to the most girly K-pop music ever

Judge Angel - the type of bitch to be a devilish little shit and annoy Ann

Kate the chaser - the type of bitch who is the equivalent of a raccoon with rabies.

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alittlebitofloveliness · 6 months ago

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When Curly decided to bare his soul to his malewife he was not expecting this.

“What,” Ponyboy says, “the fuck. Is that?”

Curly was expecting delight, joy, at the very least some fawning. It’s what should have happened,

Instead Ponyboy is staring at Curly’s child with outright disgust. And look, Curly thinks Ponyboy is pretty tuff, that’s no secret, but Curly is a father now and he’s not gonna let his kid be slandered like this.

“This,” Curly glares, holding his beloved Princess Chunko closer, feeding her another McNugget because she will bite him if she doesn’t get at least two every time he springs for the evil arches, and she always knows when he’s holding out on her. “is your new stepdaughter, Ponybabe, so you could stand to be a little nicer.”

“That is the fattest raccoon I have ever seen.”

“It’s not her fault,” Curly defends, scratching Princess Chunko behind her velvety grey ears, “She’s got another litter comin’ soon.”

“She’s pregnant?”

“Yeah,” Curly grins proudly, “I think that fuckin’ mangy asshole under the Lewitt’s porch knocked her up, but I can’t even be mad about it ‘cause her last little ones stopped comin’ around a few months back an’ I miss ‘em.”

“You’re gonna get rabies.”

“Listen Pone,” he starts, as Princess Chunko finishes the nugget and attempts to munch on his fingers instead. He swats her gently on the nose, and then scratches the spot behind her front paw until she starts to purr, “if this is gonna work you’re gonna have to be ok with coparenting.”

“Y’know when you said you had somethin’ cool to show me I was expectin’ like, i dunno, maybe some sort of fuckin’ homemade bomb or somethin, not a monster of a raccoon.”

“Leave her be!” Princess Chunko is an adorable, cuddly, warm mass curled up in his lap, and yeah, sure, her tiny claws are absolutely digging into his thigh, but it’s not her fault. She doesn’t know her own strength. “I wouldna introduced you if I knew you was gonna be mean.”

“She’a a raccoon,” Pony repeats like he ain’t said it fourteen fucking time already, but his severe look finally cracks into a smile, “But I guess she is kind of cute.”

He offers his hand and Princess Chunko snaps.

Pony jumps back, swearing colourfully.

“I’m goin’ back inside away from that fuckin beast,” he storms back towards the house, still swearing intermittently, ”I bet you trained her to do that, didn’t you?”

Curly cackles. In truth, it was a lot harder trying to teach her not to bite, and she still bit him like 30% of the time.

“Y’know, Pone” he calls, still laughing as Pony gives him a final glare as he stomps away, “If you can’t accept her that might be a dealbraker for me.”

A two finger salute and the door slamming is the only response he gets.

“Don’t worry, princess” Curly coos, stroking Princess Chunko’s soft grey fur, “he’s gonna love you in no time.”

He feeds her the last of his fries and watches her scurry away and squeeze her incredibly bountiful rolls into her nest behind the woodpile.

Pony’ll come around eventually. Probably when the babies are born next month, all round and fun before Chunko teaches them how to be fierce.

For now though, Curly follows his disgruntled other half inside, ready to sing Princess Chunko’s praises until Pony starts getting proper riled and decides kissing him is the best way to get him to shut up.

#the outsiders #ponyboy curtis #curly shepard #PaperCut #purly

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eddiemunson-reader-shame · 8 months ago

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Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader: Space Oddity, Part 1

In my ongoing quest to write more self indulgent reader inserts, I present to you: Weird Reader.

Sorry guys, but in school I played with the girls who pretended to be Warrior Cats, and ate lunch with guys who unironically did the Naruto run. The only thing separating me from this reader in this story is the fact that I mask in public and unmask at home.

[Chapter Two]

***

“You want me to play D&D with you guys?”

You watched with suspicious eyes as Mike Wheeler and Dustin Henderson nodded frantically, stirring the sweet, syrupy dessert of fruit cocktail in your lunch tray compartment. Staring at you was like staring at a taxidermy raccoon: you were dead eyed, but still positioned as though you could jump out and give someone rabies.

If he had been asked at gunpoint, Mike would have admitted that you were a last resort choice.

“Yeah…” Mike said cautiously, trying not to stare directly into your eyes.

Dustin smiled, leaning forward.

“You like D&D, right?” He tried, hopeful.

Everyone they had asked in Hawkins High had so far said no to subbing in for Lucas Sinclair, and Mike had balked at the idea of even thinking of asking you when they got rejected for the fifth time. You were even worse than the freaks of Hawkins High. The collective student body had come together as one to declare that you were a weird, mean bitch.

“I like what I’ve heard of it…” you mumbled, “I never played it before…”

Dustin’s face lit up like a Christmas tree.

“Really?” He asked, his geometric pattern button up nearly dipping into his open can of chocolate pudding, “Never ever? So you’d need to be taught?”

Before you could venture an answer, Mike pulled him back.

“Could you-… Could you just excuse us please? Thank you.”

You nodded slowly while Mike dragged Dustin away to a corner of the bustling lunchroom. While they conversed in hushed whispers, you sat there alone, the students sharing your space giving you a wide berth at the head of the lunch table.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?!” Mike hissed at Dustin, “You’re going to ask The Bitch to play, and she’s never even played D&D before?!”

Mike knew the stories. Robin had once asked to borrow a pencil from your jubilee of pens you kept in the pocket of your shortalls. Reluctantly you agreed, and then you had a meltdown when she took the flat contractor’s pencil with the He-Man sticker on it. Steve had told any of The Party who would listen about his encounter: even Eleven could perfectly recite the story about the weird girl who had flat tired Steve in the hall every day at 9am when he walked by Mrs. Click’s class, ruining the backs of his brown suede moccasins so often that his mom stopped replacing them after a while. His description of the perp matched you exactly.

Even Mike on his first day of school had been subject to your oddities. A casual lunchtime stroll found him tripping over a trap, made of plastic milk crates and dead branches you’d constructed by the football field. The encounter ended with him being subjected to your twenty minute screaming lecture on why it was rude of him to wreck the “houses” you’d made for the skinks that darted around the concrete walkways.

Mike Wheeler hated you because of reputation, but Dustin knew better than to fall victim to heresy. He had seen the drawings of dragons, daleks, dinosaurs, wolves and mermaids on xerox paper you had left behind once in the lunchroom. When he found you to give them back (you didn’t say thank you), he’d been gifted with a drawing a day later in his locker: a very detailed Spock giving the Vulcan salute, “Live Long and Prosper” written underneath in bubble letters above your loopy cursive signature. He still kept it taped to his Geometry folder.

“Dude, yes! Chill out!” Dustin hissed back, looking at you fondly from a distance, “You remember what Eddie said? ‘Find the little lost sheepies that need us’. Look at her, man. Doesn’t that scream little lost sheep to you?”

They turned to look at you simultaneously. After looking both ways to check the coast was clear, you commandeered Dustin’s abandoned chocolate pudding. Spooning the syrupy peaches, pears, pineapple, and single half of maraschino cherry of your fruit cocktail inside, you mixed the chocolate and fruit together. Lathing up the leftover pudding with your tongue, the spoon was licked clean before you tossed it vaguely into an indignant girl’s creamed corn, but she was too afraid to yell at you while you were armed with chocolate.

With great relish you began eating your concoction with your fingers.

Mike grimaced while Dustin just laughed.

“She’s perfect.” Dustin gushed, “And you should see her drawings, they’re badass!”

“Just because she’s a gross weirdo who’s good at drawing doesn’t mean she knows jackshit about tabletop games!” Mike growled, nearly gagging when he saw you mop up the leftover pudding in the can with your bread roll, “You bring a beginner into Hellfire Club, Eddie’s gonna blow a goddamn gasket! He’s already on the warpath because of Lucas’ championship game tonight, can you imagine what he’ll do when we bring in The Bitch?!”

“Mike, relax. Eddie’s not going to know she’s a novice. Everyone still flips through the handbook, they won’t notice if she does it. We’ll give her a crash course, I’ll even let her borrow my Player’s Handbook so she can come in looking like she at least knows the basics. And if Eddie does get pissed we can just… ease him into the idea that a succulent babe wants to play with him.”

Dustin made the shape of a curved figure with his hands, while Mike looked ready to punch him in the groin.

“You think he’s going to fold for a fat girl?” Mike snarled.

“… Shut up Mike,” Dustin said, immediately protective of you, “He’s going to fold for a cute girl. Look at her! Soft arms, round face, thick thighs… Eddie’s gonna lose his goddamn mind, man! That’s like his ideal type.”

They continued to argue back and forth, finally coming to a grudging resolution when Dustin dragged Mike back by the shirt to your lunch table.

“If this goes to shit, I know where you live.” Mike hissed quietly.

“Shhhh!” Dustin slapped Mike’s arm before looking back at you with a dopey grin.

You were staring down both of them, eyes flicking from Dustin to Mike. The empty pudding cup can was sitting exactly where it had been once full before, but the pop top was gone, and you were pretending like you hadn’t just gone to town on an unholy concoction.

“I made a decision.” You said suddenly.

The two freshmen looked at one another, before leaning in closer. Mike looked skeptical, but Dustin’s grin was nearly splitting his face in half.

“I’ll play with you guys.” You said after a few seconds.

Dustin couldn’t help but fist pump into the air, nearly tipping over backwards on his chair while Mike just grimaced like he was about to puke. An imperfect smile with chocolate teeth flashed at the boys, and you were just about to speak when Mike stopped the party.

“Okay, listen… if you’re going to play, you’re going to have to put in the work, it’s not like playing Monopoly.” He said, staring you down, “This is serious shit.”

You closed your mouth, head tilting to the side.

“Oh… I thought it was like, making your own characters and pretending to be them and stuff.” You said.

“It is, but it’s a lot more nuanced than that. Our Advanced D&D campaigns are different. We play very combat heavy sessions, we use actual strategy in battle. It’s not a goddamn tea party.”

“And Eddie takes the rules very seriously…” Dustin chimed in, “So we’ll have to familiarize you with the basics.”

“Eddie!?”

Both boys jumped back as you banged your hands on the table, getting up close and nearly crawling on top over to them. The students sitting next to you collectively jumped, the metal legs of their chairs scraping and making a horrid screech against the linoleum flooring.

“You mean… you’re talking about Eddie The Freak, right?” You hissed under your breath.

“Eddie Munson.” Dustin corrected, frowning when you called him a freak, “He’s the dungeon master of our club… of Hellfire Club.”

Your eyes widened, and your chest began to rise and fall rapidly.

“You’re right though. That is the very same freak.” Mike cut in, lowering his pitch hoping that feeding into the negativity would scare you away, “He’s a dick to newcomers. You might get the boot if he finds out we brought you in without having any background knowledge of D&D.”

His words made you shrink back, looking at your lunch tray and the little mess of chocolate you’d unknowingly splattered on your clothes. Dustin could have killed Mike, while the latter just looked smug.

And then… you began to giggle.

“Okay…” you smiled.

“Okay?!” Mike and Dustin repeated.

Mike managed to speak up while Dustin was still picking his smiling jaw up off the floor.

“You’re sure you still want to play?” Mike asked, panicking as he pulled out all the stops to get you to quit, “Eddie is not a patient guy with new players, he’s going to rip you to pieces and sacrifice you to the devil!”

You nodded quickly, breathlessly hyperventilating.

“Yeah…! I… If Eddie Munson is running the game… I really wanna play.”

Dustin gave a high pitched giggle of his own and shook Mike’s shoulder, absolutely loving the way your face broke out into a goofy grin. You didn’t even flinch at Mike’s attempts to scare you.

“You got a thing for him or something?” Mike ventured cautiously.

“Yes.”

You answered so unabashedly, with no hesitation, that for a minute it actually endeared you to Mike. Who knew that The Bitch of Hawkins High was actually a human being with wants and needs?

“Wait… are you serious?” Mike asked.

“Uh huh…”

You giggled, biting your lower lip and covering your burning face.

“I think… I think he’s really hot…”

If they had been drinking Tab, they would have spit the liquid out all over you.

“You think Eddie’s hot?” Dustin wheezed.

“Yeah… um… I’ve had this like monster crush on Eddie since I was in fifth grade. He did like this talent show and played the guitar real good, and he’s all loud and funny and crazy and I think he’s got a real charming smile…”

The cadence in your already deep contralto was lilting into a mezzo soprano the more you talked about their sadistic dungeon master, and you were rocking side to side in your plastic chair while Dustin and Mike just watched you make a complete ass of yourself.

This probably would have turned into two hours of blabbing, had not Mike refocused you and Dustin and begun to actually lay out the basics of TSR’s Advanced Dungeons and Dragons. No time to lose, back to business. If you were going to play with Eddie you had a lot of catching up to do. They had a spare set of dice, and Mike helped you roll for stats as Dustin began to write out a crude character sheet for you based on your imaginative ideas.

“We can probably make you a character very quickly.” Mike said, flipping through his own Mead Composition notebook as he checked past characters that had died valiantly in battle, “I have one you can use. Barbarians are stupid easy for first timers since you’re just hitting shit with a sword-...”

“I want a character based on my story I’m writing!” You exclaimed, and then you subjected Mike to your brief (lie) synopsis of one of many witchy characters who was cursed by a dark goddess.

It took a lot of adjusting and words that held no meaning to you, like “Domain of Trickery” and “Cleric of Shar”. The two freshmen helped you settle on a character that would be deemed useful for Hellfire’s campaign, and made sure to force feed you every rule and spell that Gygax and Arneson had conceived for your chosen class. True to his word, Dustin let you borrow the Player’s Handbook he carried with him at all times when the bell to conclude lunch rang out. You took it with promises that you’d give it back when you met them outside of the drama room later after school, already burying your nose in the pages when you walked off to your class.

The boys saw a different side of you that possibly no one else in the school ever had: a familiar side, a human side. A side that was brutally honest and sometimes a little mean, but just as vulnerable and relatable as anyone else. A consensus had been reached during their shared English class: you were definitely weird, but actually pretty smart and imaginative. Possibilities of keeping you on as a permanent member were being discussed when Dustin and Mike found you hiding behind the lockers just outside the drama room around three pm.

“What are you doing?” Mike asked.

You shook your head, clutching your fat trapper keeper to your chest and handing Dustin back his Player’s Handbook.

“Eddie’s in there…” you muttered, chewing on the spine of your trapper keeper covered in duct tape

“Yeah, he usually gets there with Jeff, Gareth and Frank really early, to set up the map and the dice towers.” Mike nodded.

From the rectangular slat of a window, one could see Gareth and Frank meticulously setting up Jenga pieces and miniatures on top of a slab of butcher paper marked in sharpie, janky cindrilical tubes painted to look like castle towers were set up at each place at the table (the dice towers, fashioned from Pringles cans, cardboard, glue and paint). Eddie and Jeff were deep in conversation, plugging in lamps and electric candelabras left over from the drama club’s last production of ‘Pride and Prejudice’. Inside the mood was almost holy, reverent (or like Eddie liked to call it: a softcore porn on Valentine’s day mood), and the boys couldn’t help the eagerness as they went to the door.

You, however, stayed firmly planted behind the lockers.

“What are you doing?!” Mike hissed, “Come on! We’re gonna be late because of you!”

“I don’t wanna go in…!” You snapped back, suddenly shy.

Mike looked at Dustin, ready to destroy him, while Dustin tried to talk you down.

“Hey, hey! Come on, it’s okay. Don’t worry! You have a good character, and if you need help you can just sit with me and Mike-…”

“But what if he doesn’t like me?” You protested.

“I swear to you on my mother that Eddie is going to love you.” Dustin said, trying to calm you down, “You’re great. You actually came with a character to play, and he’s going to be so happy that a girl is showing interest in his hobbies.”

You were about to turn tail and leave when you felt an iron grip around the meat of your bicep, pulling you forward with an unnatural strength born entirely of Nerd Rage.

“Oh hell no!” Mike said, pulling you kicking and protesting towards the door, “You’re not doing this to me right now god dammit! You’re going to get your ass in there, and you’re going to play! I didn’t sit through lunch listening to your weird edgy character backstory just so you could pussy out at the last minute! Now get your ass. In. NOW!”

With a harsh shove, you flew into the drama room – tripping on your own two feet trying to catch yourself – and spilling the contents of your trapper keeper all over the ground. Strong hands caught you before you face planted into the floor, holding you steady.

“Easy, easy!” Called out a familiar voice, “Goddamn... What the hell was that for, Mike?! You could’ve broken her nos-…”

Eddie Munson’s voice trailed off, and the boys watched as their fearless leader, their metalhead bard, began to stare open mouthed slack jawed at you.

“You told us to find a lost sheep.” Mike snarled, “So here she is.”

#stranger things #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #stranger things x reader #stranger things reader insert #stranger things fics #eddie munson reader insert #eddie munson fanfiction

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vase-of-lilies · 2 years ago

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… for the tiny tiger au. How about Wanda and Nat freaking out thinking that R got out. Which we did, we’re alone outside. But instead of running like they think we did, we found a baby fox and start poking it and what not to see if it’s alive (cause it’s sleeping) and thinking it’s cute we bring it back to mommy and mama who are in hysterics trying to find out where we went, only to turn when tapped to find us covered in mud/dirt presenting the new friend we have to them, wide eyed kan we eep em? Mommy mama pweeesss?

Nat and Wanda don’t know what to do side eyeing one another because they don’t want their baby to cry, but also. It’s a fox.

Muddy Buddies

Paring: Mommy!Wanda Maximoff x Little!Reader x Momma!Natasha Romanoff

Warnings: this is a dark AU, wandering off into the woods, finding a friend, fluff, heavy MD/LG, needles, rabies shots

A/N: This immediately reminds me of this video I saw where this kid found a raccoon and is crying because she can’t take him home 😭 Another small drabble for Into The Tiny Verse:) Also, I'm so sorry. I am so tired so if it sounds like a 10-year-old wrote this (my vocab sucks when I'm tired) then just- Idk bear with me here 😭

Your little self was none the wiser when an opportunity to go outside came up. You didn't have any intention of escaping from your new caregivers, all you wanted to do was go on an adventure with your lion! And when this opportunity came up, you took it.

Natasha had just returned from her trip to town, grocery bags in her arms. Usually, she was much better at keeping an eye on you when Wanda was busy, and when she didn't see you come running to the door to say hi to her, she figured you were asleep or with your mommy.

At this point, you were now a couple feet into the forest surrounding the cabin. Not wanting to scare your mommies, you never lost sight of the house. That is until a little hint of orange just a little further inside the trees caught your eye.

Your curiosity moved your feet closer to the unknown blob of color, and once you saw it you let out a soft gasp. Your hand covered your mouth and you moved just a little closer.

It was a baby fox!

Looking around, you grab a stick with some leaves still on it and you kneel down next to the still fox. Is it dead? Your head pushes. Why isn't the mother here? Another question you ask yourself. With the stick in your hand, you gently poke the soft bum of the fox. The animal twitches, and you jump in surprise. Dropping the stick, you crawl to it, not caring about the mud on your pants or hands.

The small fox squeaks, and opens her little eyes, looking up at you. However, it did not run away. Instead, she yawned and got up from her position on the muddy forest floor. She stretches and even approaches you. Carefully, you hold your hand out and you smile as the fox's wet nose sniffs your fingers.

"Aren't chu jus' the chutest ting?" You whisper, scratching the fox's chin. "Yous name is Butto! (Butter)"

Butter lets out a small whine and a raspy bark, and you pick her up. She looks around as you stand up with her, and she slightly starts to struggle. You hold her comfortably tight, and you walk quickly back to the cabin.

Upon entering the cabin once again, you hear your mommies' worried voices. They shouldn't be worried... I'm right here! They don't hear you come in through the front door, too focused on reviewing the camera footage from outside of the warm abode. The two women don't even hear you enter their office!

Holding Butter and Leo (your lion) in one arm, you gently tap Wanda's shoulder to get her attention with the other hand. Her head snaps to the side, her eyes widening when she sees you. "Tiny! Oh my- Oh, and tiny's friend..." She says with a hesitant laugh, pulling her hands away from your muddy self and your muddy friend.

You tilt your head at her reaction to you but shake it off to ask the more important question at hand. You look up at the woman with doe eyes, "kan we eep em? Mommy mama pweeesss?" Wanda and Nat look at each other, surprised to say the least, but not wanting to hear you cry if they take your friend away.

"Who- uh- who is this, little one?" Natasha says, looking down at the fox in your arms.

"Her name Butto'" You say nonchalantly, as if it was just a new stuffed animal.

"Butter?" Wanda confirms and looks at her wife, eyes wide and asking for some type of support. Natasha can’t help but chuckle, and she kneels down in front of you.

“Tiny, I know this little one looks like a friend, but these little guys are tedious. They aren’t very friendly,” Nat frowns, starting to take the fox from your arms.

“Nnnnooooo! No she fren, mama, she nice,” you protest, pulling yourself away from the woman. “She tan stay wif me in m’room, and she can snuggle wif us!”

Wanda and Natasha devise a plan to get the little fox away from you and back to its mother, and they do that by putting you outside with Butter. In the backyard of course.

Butter in fact wasn’t nice. She scratched you, bit you, and made you cry, but your intentions on keeping her never wavered. Your little brain was just seeing another friend, and that’s all you thought this little fox was.

Wanda offered you a deal. “How about we make a trade?” She asks with a smile. “How about I take Butter, and you take Pancakes?” Your mommy pulls a plush fox from behind her back, and you tilt your head. “Just like you need mommy to take care of you, so does little Butter, and we need to get her back to her mommy.” Wanda says, and you start to understand.

“Butter has mommy too?” You ask, tears forming in your eyes at the thought of being taken away from your caretakers. Wanda nods softly and takes Butter from your hands.

“Yeah, so let’s get her back to her home and we can play with Pancakes all night. How does that sound?” Wanda asks you, finally pulling the baby fox from your scratched up hands.

Natasha had contacted Bruce Banner. He may be a human doctor, but he knows where this little fox can go to get real care. He even said that you and your mommies could visit her too! While Wanda held you in her arms, Natasha was distracting you while Bruce gave you a few rabies shots, and a few other vaccines to help you stay healthy after touching a wild animal.

You were not a fan of needles, and the two women knew that.

As you waved goodbye to Bruce and Butter, you sighed softly. “Butto’ sc’atched me,” you sniffle, looking down at your hands that now stung.

“Oh honey, it’s ok, let’s go get you cleaned up for dinner, ok?” Wanda says, picking you up bridal-style and taking you to the bathroom to wash up.

Once your bath was finished, Wanda bandaged your hands and arms and got you all warmed up in your pjs. After dinner, your mommies kept their promise and you played with your new (fluff-filled) friend until you fell asleep!

“We need to watch her carefully…” Natasha chuckles, stroking her knuckle over your sleeping face.

Wanda nods, “Agreed!”

#natasha romanoff x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #into the tiny verse #wandanat x female reader #mommy wanda maximoff x reader #mommy!natasha romanoff x little!reader #mommy wanda x little reader #mommy!wandanat x reader #mommy!wanda x little!reader

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