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#side note I know nothing about this hobby personally I just have to assume that every hobby has Those People in it somewhere
oftlunarialmoon · 3 months
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What is Age Regression? Is It Healthy? (UPDATED AS OF 2/25/19) - Age Regression Series
Originally posted to www.onlyfunthings.org on May 14, 2018
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Ciao lovelies! Today’s post is a follow up to THIS post about how there is no expiration date on fun! Today’s post is going to be about how expressing your “childish” side and indulging “childish” wants or hobbies can be super healthy to your mental state! In other words, we’re going to be talking about the unconventional “age regression” coping mechanism. (TRIGGER WARNING- Mentions of sexual abuse, self harm, eating disorders.)
(Please note that in this post we are not discussing the hypnosis level of this coping skill! We are simply talking about tapping into your inner child for the sake of stress relief and coping with traumas. Also DISCLAIMER- I am not a medical professional or a licensed therapist. I am simply recommending this from personal experience, not from a place of expertise.)
Even though this practice is increasing in its popularity, many have misconceptions about what this is or what it’s good for. The most simple and truthful definition is this “Age regression is when somebody reverts to a child-like state of mind, often as a coping mechanism for things like PTSD, depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.” And this meaning is what we are talking about today.
Unfortunately for the sake of this post, there aren’t a lot of reputable sources for age regression, many of these sources get it wrong, and most places that even mention it mistakenly assume it is a sexual thing, when it is absolutely not. And that is why I wanted to write this article, to create a article that regressors can link back to and use to explain this to others, to end stigmas against regression and to stop the spread of misinformation.
MYTHS ABOUT AGE REGRESSION:
“Age Play and Age Regression are the same”- This is incorrect. Age Play is when someone pretends to be a younger age for a sexual reason. Age Regression is when someone feels like or goes into a younger head space for therapy/coping/stress relief reasons. The two are distinctly different but unfortunately get grouped together by ignorance. 
“Age Regression requires you to have a ‘Caregiver’”- This is also incorrect! You don’t need someone to be taking care of you in order to regress, because regression is based off you, your mental state and your coping mechanisms/therapeutic methods.
“You must have had a bad childhood in order to age regress”- Actually, you can have had a perfectly normal childhood and still regress! For one, sometimes the traumas people are coping with happened later in life, so they’re regressing to cope with it now, other times for two, people regress for stress relief not necessarily to relive childhood! 
“You can only age regress if you’re mentally ill/Age regression is a mental illness”- Neither of these are true, as you can regress even if you’re neurotypical. Age regression is not a type of mental illness but is instead a coping strategy/therapy method/stress reliever.
EXPERIENCES:
Now, I will share with you some people’s personal experiences with age regression to help them. Every story shared was shared willingly with us and we have kept certain people anonymous. The only thing changed in these stories is grammar/spelling. Everything else is left untouched.
“I regress because I was sexually abused as a child and teen. When I regress, it’s like I get a new childhood where nothing bad happens to me. It’s nice to be able to play with toys and color and relax and have the flashbacks and painful memories stop for once. I have told my therapist about my regression and she said it sounds like a very healthy coping mechanism. I used to cut to cope with my PTSD from the abuse, but now I can just regress and be happy.” – Anonymous
“I started regressing at the end of high school without knowing what I was doing because I just thought I was childish. I noticed that when I was regressed I could finally get myself to eat which I had difficulty with because of my anorexia. The hardest part of it all for me is knowing I can’t explain myself to the ones I care about because they might judge me or not understand it.”- Anonymous
"When I was very young I went through a lot of mental and physical trauma, and this continued into my young adult life. I ended up developing a bunch of different disorders causing me to have intense mood swings, flashbacks, night terrors, and panic attacks. I'm in a constant state of extreme anxiety without a cause. But when I age regress I am able to express my emotions and deal with past traumas. It gave me a much needed outlet in what I saw as a world of darkness. It helped pull me out of my depression, and helps me cope in a positive way. I've been regressing for about 3 years, and I have never improved as much as I have in these past years. My regressed state is the only time I'm not constantly anxious and paranoid. My mood swings happen less often and I'm more positive in general. Age regression has changed my life for the better, and become a part of who I am as a person." - (Please note that our source for this quote has left Tumblr and we have no other accounts to source them to- 1/13/19 update)
What do you think of Age Regression as a coping mechanism? Would you ever try it? Have you? Let us know what you think in the comments!
One last note! Please do be cautious when using this coping skill. I have been informed that it is possible for this coping skill to cause dissociation. Please exercise caution and only do what you feel is comfortable and healthy for you.
If you are an age regressor, we have some more articles for you! Such as:
 - Age Regression Journaling
and
 -Age Regression Self Care
We also have a YouTube Channel with lots of agere Goodness, like this video:
youtube
Remember to Stay Awesome and Love Yourself!
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rxgclity · 2 months
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[ luca hollestelle | she/her ] Another face is seeking safety in New Orleans. Make sure to welcome ATHENA SKIDERIK to the home of the resilient. Rumor has it that they are an 24 year old HUNTER, who is one of the SURVIVORS but we’ll keep that a secret. They are said to be DECEIVING, but that’s all a façade to cover up their LOYAL nature. We’ve heard that they can be found listening to TURN THE LIGHTS BACK ON by BILLY JOEL, which sums them up pretty well. Let’s hope that they can find a way to survive this harsh new world.
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about
full name : athena 'thena' skiderik
nicknames : 'thena, thea
age : 24 ( 24 physically )
birthday/zodiac : april 4th / aeries
gender/pronouns : cis woman / she/her
sexual orientation : pansexual
species : human (hunter)
occupation : student at the local college
family : artemis and athena's father (father - deceased), angela skiderik (mother), artemis mikaelson (half-sister), _______ skiderik (half-brother/sibling - on her mother's side)
languages : english, asl, spanish (albeit broken)
personality
bad habits … . reacting with violence, overthinking, rambling
hobbies … . hunting, protecting her family, blogging
fears … . getting disowned by artemis, becoming a vampire or werewolf, losing her mother and brother
alignment : chaotic... just chaotic
behind the mask
face claim … . luca hollestelle
height … . 5'8"
hair color … . red
eye color … . brown
scars … . multiple scars all over her body while training
about
fair warning this is going to be short because i'm tired, sorry in advance
She grew up without a father, having been completely content being raised by a single mother along with her brother. Though, at times, when she saw others being doted on by their fathers she wished she could have that. Then she remembered her brother would do that and then some and she would get over it.
Around the age of 6, her mother finally revealed the truth to her - that she was the daughter of Artemis's father I don't know his name but y'all know what I mean xD. Confused, she wondered why this was such a big deal that it had to be kept quiet, and she didn't really think much of it.
She just assumed he was someone who wanted nothing to do with her and her mother so why worry about someone who meant nothing?
Another thing revealed to her was that she had an older half sister, her mother having known him well enough to know about his other family. Hence, to get revenge, her mother gave her the name of a goddess as well.
She knew she should have cared but she found that she felt numb to it. Her family were her mother and brother, but as she got older she wondered more about her half-sister. Some would call it stalking but she would call it doing research but she would follow the other redhead around, taking notes on her and what she was like - yet she never had the courage to speak to her herself.
During this time she found out about the supernatural and decided to hunt - finding it a good way to not only make money but to protect her family as well. She became rather well known by others, noting her skills as exceptional for her age. Some came to even know her as 'the red bandit' which she found stupid but decided to keep it
She's managed to protect her sister, noting that she has become not only a vampire but one with a high bloodlust who likes to get into trouble. She manages to cover up what the other does as best as she can, even if it ends up with her getting in trouble.
She has yet to finally introduce herself to Artemis but feels like she's finally built up the courage to do so
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author-morgan · 2 years
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i sent in an Eivor request and was wondering when it might be completed. it’s been a few weeks now. if you don’t want to write it that’s fine! i’ll check with another author who wrote for him.
I was just going to turn a blind eye to this ask, but you know what? no. I am one of many fanfic writers on this site that is tired of being treated like crap. I put in hours of work, hours of my own time, writing what I want and fulfilling requests for friends and strangers all for FREE. only to never be reblogged by the person who requested it, to never even get a reply to the post or a DM to say 'hey, thanks for writing my request, I liked the story.' I'm tired of it. and now you want to put time restraints on how long it takes me to fulfill a request that you sent me? lmao.
to get things started off, my requests are currently closed. they have been since the summer of 2021. had you looked at my pinned post (which I'm assuming you did to even see that I took requests), then you would've seen this:
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all the stories I've recently posted as responses to asks are me trying to catch up on requests, hence why I am not currently taking new requests. I still have over 10 requests in my inbox and numerous requests through DMs to write before I even think of opening my requests again. but if this is the new attitude? then I might just keep them closed forever now.
secondly, believe it or not. I have a life. I am an adult with responsibilities and a Ph.D. student. which means (even in the summer) I have to work sometimes 50 hours a week writing papers, being in the lab, and helping external users with analyses, even though I'm only paid for 20 of those hours (and for the cherry on top, the pay is shit to begin with).
forgive me for not having an endless amount of time to fulfill your request in less than two weeks when it's a big deal to just be able to cook a meal at night or have an hour to watch TV or play a game. and may I remind you, WHAT I DO WRITE IS ALWAYS FREE. but it's not really free is it? it costs time to write, edit, format, and fight Tumblr's shitty post editor to make sure I don't forget people on my taglist. I am not being paid, this is not a hobby for me, not a ko-fi side hustle.
and lastly? my motivation to write has been shit as of late because I know what the response is going to be like. my friends and mutuals will reblog (and I love them for it) and then it'll be ratioed to hell by likes. when the notes on a post look like this, that's an issue. and it's why content creators are leaving this site or not posting as much as we used to.
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I'm not writing for clout but when there is a reblog to like ratios like this on every single fic? and when the person who requests said fic isn't even among the reblogs? it's a slap in the face. it's mindless consumption which isn't what fandom should be about.
if you want more content on Tumblr, it is a two-way street. you have to interact with us by reblogging posts. you should reply with a simple comment, even if it's just 'hey I enjoyed this story' or 'this was cool.' otherwise? don't be surprised when your favorite writers, artists, editors, gif makers, etc stop creating and leave. if you can hit a like button (which does absolutely nothing) you can take one more second and reblog too.
and idk, if you want a story written with a super quick turnaround time maybe you should consider starting to write yourself. quality over quantity in this house and in the words of Alton Brown "your patience will be rewarded." just ask @mrsragnarlodbrok who has waited sometimes 6 months to have a story written and posted. so yeah, rant over. get off your high horse anon. I don't owe you shit if this is your attitude toward fanfic writers.
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roostertuftart · 2 years
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This meta was sent to me during a argument, and while disagreeing with this opinion, I couldn't line up my thought to why. I want to hear ur opinion on this since you're a Kyle fan like OP and has a lot of meta posts about him. thank u for reading this post and sorry for my bad english! https://curiouscat.live/ginzura/post/1191543937
First of all, no need to apologize for your English, and it’s perfectly legible regardless! I’m going to paste the OP’s exact words here because I don’t know exactly how CuriousCat works and I don’t want to original text to get deleted so no one can see what exactly I’m arguing against, so here it is below: 
Ask: What do u think about those ppl who say  shipping kyman is bad bc you’re shipping a jew with a nazi 🧐
Answer: good question! if people really believe that then i can't blame them for not wanting to have anything to do with kyman, however my interpretation is different. buckle up cause this is gonna get kinda long though....
so first of all, cartman is without a doubt, a bigoted person. he's racist, he's classist, he's shown signs of being sexist too (though nowhere as bad as butters lol), etc. the thing is, his anti semitic remarks towards kyle for being a jewish person feel different than his other very backwards beliefs. i'll expand on this. 
take for example the way he treats token, often alluding to the fact he's black, applying stereotypes to him and commenting stuff such as 'your people'. all this because token is black, nothing to do with token's personality or hobbies, it's just because token is a black person. when he shot token it wasn't because token did something to him, it was because token was a black person, and therefore, a threat to him, a white person. with this we can assume that the first thing cartman notes about token is his ethnicity above all else. he doesn't see him as a person but just part of a minority he looks down upon.
now let's address his relationship with kyle. he belittles kyle, calls him a 'goddamn jew', has threatened his life, etc. to the naked eye you would think it's exactly the same to what he does to token but that's where i disagree. he doesn't hate kyle for being jewish, he hates kyle for BEING kyle. is it cause kyle is smarter than him? maybe. is it cause kyle makes has things he doesn't have? maybe. but the point is that kyle's very existence annoys cartman so he has to put him down and the most obvious thing he could possibly remark about kyle is the fact that he's jewish because it's a low hanging fruit. but that's not the only thing cartman has had issue with concerning kyle. cartman tried to make people turn against gingers and emphasized that daywalkers were the worst type. who is a daywalker? kyle, of course. when he found out kyle was partly new jerseyite, he was against that too. he just tries to single out kyle as a menace as soon as he has an excuse for it. and that's why i don't actually think he's a nazi as much as he's a big fucking dick with an unhealthy obsession for kyle. i'm convinced that if kyle wasn't jewish, cartman would still find an excuse to get on his case
furthermore, and this is something that escapes fans a lot, cartman has pretty much stopped calling kyle 'jew' for quite some time now. the development started in s19 where he promised he wouldn't anymore after getting the shit beat out of him by pc principal. he still did in the ninjas episode, same season, but ever since that habit has died. so, in any case, i think cartman is mellowing out…
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I’m not sure if this is the answer you’re looking for, but honestly, even as someone who really isn’t super fond of both-sided Kyman myself, I kind of agree with a lot of this take and I have for a while, though I don’t think it’s all because of Kyle either. 
Cartman’s feelings towards Judaism seem extremely complicated to me, ranging from fetishizing the religion to outright hating it, and I think in large part this all does come down to his obsession with Kyle. Whether you believe the theory that Cartman is secretly in love with Kyle or not, it’s undeniable that he is obsessed with him and getting his attention. Maybe even having the envy of wanting to be like him in some aspects. 
I’m not going to go into a deepdive into this because I’m not the most well versed about Cartman’s character as a whole, but I can go over how Cartman’s feelings towards Kyle and Judaism seem to work. 
To start off, to say that his anti-semitism entirely comes down to how he feels about Kyle isn’t really true either. In early seasons, Cartman is already spouting out some pretty nasty stuff at Kyle about him being Jewish, and I would argue that this far back, he didn’t yet really hate Kyle or have any real obsession towards him. Not moreso than the other boys anyway- In fact, he even claims to hate Kenny the most, and there seems to be a genuine effort on his part to be liked by Stan and Kyle who tend to pick on him or show their outright hatred towards him- That’s not to say Cartman isn’t an asshole himself, but that seems like how he is towards everyone- He genuinely seems to crave their attention though, especially in episodes like Prehistoric Iceman. We’ve also seen that Liane seemed to have a pretty bad influence on Cartman at this time, teaching him some fairly bigoted shit. It feels likely to me that Liane probably had some if not full influence on Cartman’s opinion on Jews at this time, as she probably did with everything else he believes, leading to his general bigotry towards most minorities that he still holds today. 
What I agree with OP about though is that if Kyle had not been Jewish, Cartman would not be so intent on his anti semitism. I still believe he would probably be in the same way he is racist towards black people like Tolkien, but I can’t see him being nearly as obsessed with it, nor do I think he would fetishize it as much as he sometimes does. Cartman’s hatred of Jewish people in large part is because of Kyle, not the other way around. Of course, this isn’t at all Kyle’s fault and is still extremely egregious on Cartman’s part, but I think it’s important in meta discussions of how Cartman thinks and feels towards Kyle. 
One thing in OP’s post that does bother me however is the last part- Cartman “mellowing out”. I really don’t like the implications that Cartman’s antisemitism becoming more subtle is the equivalent to it being less, or even an improvement on Cartman’s behalf. Like, I do agree that he’s a child who has had a lot of bad influences and that he’s not beyond outgrowing his bigotry, but the show itself hasn’t really given us that just because Cartman doesn’t call Kyle “jew (derogatory)” anymore. We can’t get into his head obviously and see exactly what he thinks of Jewish people now but it’s pretty clear to me that he still holds a lot of antisemitic values and likes to torment Kyle in targeted ways because he’s Jewish. 
Season 21 and the first episode of season 23 are pretty obvious signs of that. In S21Ep7, he straight up told Heidi conspiracy theories about Jewish people and basically convinced her that Kyle has been manipulating her simply because he’s Jewish, as well as even going as far as teaching her that Jewish people are always “trying to get ahead of everyone else”. This isn’t some micro aggression he accidentally dropped despite showing vast improvement most of the time, this is extreme Nazi rhetoric, and it’s just as dangerous and damaging as the shit he was saying before Season 19. In S23Ep1, Cartman uses ICE to have Kyle’s family separated and placed in detention facilities in an extremely targeted act of revenge. He knows what he’s doing, and it’s obvious. He’s not stupid, and I don’t know how anyone can fall for his very clearly fake act in the episode that he somehow suddenly forgot Kyle was Jewish and that this situation would be something Kyle would be extra sensitive to. I’m going to give the benefit of the doubt that OP just forgot about these episodes but this is NOT an improvement in his behavior. It’s just more subtle and manipulative on his part which is disturbing and dangerous in its own right.
And then to talk about Cartman in the recent specials, I think there’s a strong argument for his behavior towards Judaism just seeming really fetishistic and even disingenuous, so even if his hatred isn’t there he’s still pretty antisemitic. 
So yeah, TL;DR, Cartman’s antisemitism seems to mostly revolve around his hatred/obsession with Kyle and he has not mellowed out in any positive ways since Season 19. 
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homarmir · 2 years
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*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*═*.·:·.☽✧ ✦ ✧☾.·:·.*
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I Can't Reach You (As I Am Now)
✧☾✧ relationship: one-sided Hyodo Juza/ Nanao Taichi
✧☾✧ this is me just projecting on taichi the fic
✧☾✧ warnings: none
✧☾✧ A3! Rare Pairs Week 2022
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Taichi had been so stuck on the missing part of his fascination with his fellow troupe member that he started listing his own hobbies hoping that something would stick. There had to be something on his list. The more he thought about it the more it became obvious that nothing would end up fitting Juza at all. Juza was awkward and uncoordinated; it would be unlikely for him to pick up something like skateboarding or yo-yoing. Taichi didn’t see Juza as one to be popular with others or someone that was interested in girls. His gaze alone seemed to scare anyone that happened to be near him. Juza wasn’t a popular person, the only person that seemed to like him was Banri. Like was a subjective word, but it was all Taichi could think of to try and summarize their relationship. Banri seemed to pick fights with Juza just to pick them. It was clear that the other wanted nothing to do with him. Taichi wondered if Banri had a crush.
Taichi had continued his thinking even after the leads had been chosen. Juza being announced as co-lead was something, but Taichi trusted Tsuzuru’s judgment. Juza's acting was pretty much the same as it was on his first day. Taichi had noticed early on that his troupe tended to be secretive. Much different from the other two troupes that were already an established part of Mankai. Taichi didn’t know a lot about Juza outside of the rumors from others. It stayed that way until one day Matsukawa brought in these disgustingly sweet snacks during rehearsal that resembled the parrot that hung around the dorms.
Juza seemed to like them. He denied it when Banri asked, but Taichi could see the sparkle in his eyes. It was cute. Cute that someone as scary looking as Juza would enjoy super sugary bird shaped treats. Taichi felt his blood freeze.
What the hell was cute about Juza?
He was scary and awkward as hell. There was nothing to be seen as cute about him. Pushing down his thoughts, Taichi tried to think of something else. Skateboarding, the cute neighborhood girl from his childhood, the impressed comments from his classmates. Nothing was working. The only other option that he could think of was to push down his thoughts and pretend they didn’t exist. Ignoring things was what he was good at. It should work out fine.
It was not fine.
Nothing was fine.
Taichi continued to pretend like things were fine. He noticed that Juza’s acting had been improving the more rehearsals that were held. From Banri’s constant complaining Taichi assumed that Juza had been putting in a lot of outside practice. It wasn’t a lot compared to the other members, especially Banri, but Taichi did note that it was miles above what Juza had started with. Juza seemed to be happy with his success, so Taichi wasn’t one to tear him down on his victories, no matter how small. The sparkle in Juza’s eyes was worth watching after he received praises from correctly delivering a line. It wasn’t until Sakyo called rehearsal that it finally hit Taichi.
Taichi was jealous of Juza’s passion for acting.
After all of this time Taichi had properly identified why he was so intrigued by Juza. Sure, at first it may have been a marvel and his delinquent statues and cool outward demeanor. That could only last for so long. At some point it had morphed from fearful admiration to something more intimate and rearing ugly emotions attached. That passion wasn’t something Taichi could just copy and put on display. It was something that took dedication and hard work even if the results were minimal.
That was something that Taichi wasn’t willing to do. Taichi wasn’t going to change his ways at the drop of a hat and immerse himself the same way Juza was. Taichi had indirectly put Juza on a pedestal. admiring him and his complete honesty to something he enjoyed. Taichi wasn’t like that at all. It wasn’t something he would be deserving of. Taichi wanted to cry.
He already made it this far. There was really no option for him to go back and remake himself. Taichi didn’t know what he would do if Juza found out about his plans or why he even joined Mankai in the first place. Juza would definitely hate him. Taichi thought it would be best to continue on as if nothing had happened. That was only really the only option left. Push forward until the day of the performance and hope that he is successful. As much as he hated it, there was no other path for him. Continue strong until the very end.
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thedickgraysonrp · 7 months
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What do you look for in a rp partner?
AND/OR
How do you overcome writer’s block?
♡ Munday Meme ♡
What do you look for in a rp partner?
Oh boy. This is going to be a bit long, so buckle up.
I think what most of what I look for in a RP partner can be divided into three main categories, both in Discord and Tumblr RP: Interest, Communication and Initiative. Now for a bit of an explanation below the line if interested:
Interest: If you don't show interest in what we roleplay, why roleplay at all? That is not to say you constantly need to come up with new ideas or plot devices, or fantasize about our muses doing whatever together 24/7—not at all. It links to one of the rules I state in my rules page, honestly: Quality over Quantity (or both, if possible). Quality in writing, for me, comes when you are actually interested in what happens in a roleplay when you write it. You want it to develop and grow, you want to continue writing a story together, or reach a satisfying conclusion to it. For shorter threads, you want to capture a moment—may it be funny, sad, dramatic or silly, it doesn't matter. It doesn't have to be an endless text wall, too. Sometimes a lot more can be said in a juicy paragraph than an empty text wall of nothing. When you're not interested in what you write, it SHOWS. RPing is a major hobby of mine, has been for years, and even if my interest fluctuates and is a subject of my whims it is clear as daylight when I lack interest and trust me, it probably shows in your writing too. Which brings us right to the next point—
Communication: I 👏 CANNOT 👏 STRESS 👏 THIS 👏 POINT 👏 ENOUGH. One of the things I find majorly lacking in Tumblr RPC is communication between partners. Maybe it's because RPs here are based on threads and not an instant messaging system, or maybe other reasons, but it shouldn't matter! From OOC conversations to deep dives into muses, communication with a RP partner is a MUST, no matter what platform you use. You want to wrap up a thread or not make one out of an ask/meme? You can either discuss it with your partner, note it in your tags, or like the post to let your partner know not to expect a reply (which is a thing here on Tumblr, I learned?). Not interested in that blog/partner? Though it's up for debate on this platform if to do so or not, I suggest just sending a small polite message to that blog/partner indicating that. I can only speak from personal experience, but most of the partners I did so were very civil about it and we parted on good or neutral terms. Sometimes it's not forever, and it means they are not interested at the moment. Of course, if civil communication doesn't happen, there's always a block option. Haven't gotten a reply to your thread for a long time? Don't jump to conclusions, message your partner. Tumblr is a glitchy goose and notifications are shotty at best, it might have just not popped up for them. Or, perhaps, initiating a conversation will trigger them to talk about why they haven't replied since they were scared or worried to talk about it. Want to RP with this new/old blog but don't know how? Talk to them. Who knows? They might have been waiting on the other end to hear just from you. There are a lot of other examples out there. Most of the roleplayers I encountered on Tumblr are really nice and eager to write, and even if things don't work out between you two, you know you've tried. Now, I'm no saint—I myself find it hard to message people sometimes and ask/discuss things because I think I may be annoying/a drag/unwanted/etc. (anxiety yaaay), and one of the things that reassure me it's comfortable and safe to talk to other people is them initiating or talking back. You never know who is on the other side of the screen. I would love to make friends here and share my interests beyond RPing and writing if I feel safe to do so, too. People automatically assume communication means constantly talking to your partner every minute of the day, which is NOT even close, and that's where the third category comes in for me—
Initiative: I intentionally put this here and not with communication to make a point. No, you don't need to talk to your partner every hour of the day and be all over them to show your interest, BUT you do have to show initiative. So what does that mean? To me, initiative links both interest and communication together. Yes, we're all people with things to do outside Tumblr and the RPC, some of us more busy than others and so on. And yes, while roleplaying is a hobby and not a job and you have no obligation to it whatsoever and it's for your enjoyment and pass time alone, you are still writing with someone. Naturally, like every communication, there are expectations on both ends. It is recommended to set those expectations beforehand, of course—may it be stated in your rules (as it always should) or discussed over if anything is unclear. Initiative means showing to your RP partner that you're still present and there's a potential of interest. It doesn't necessarily mean sending asks/memes or answering starter calls (though these are always usually highly welcome if your partner posts those), because we're not always in the mood to write with that specific muse or answer that specific thread. Or, sometimes, we're just busy. Initiative means engaging with their blog, show them you are still interested in it even if it's not necessarily in writing with them atm. Liking that visual they posted or headcanon they wrote for their muse, leaving a comment on something, tagging them in stuff and so on. And if you are interested in writing with them? Don't wait around—ask them if they want to write or send them something. You may not always get an equal level of interest as yours, if at all, but they will know you are there. And that's what counts. You don't need to do this every minute, every hour or every day. But you need to do it. If you'll sit there expecting people to engage with you out of the blue and you do nothing at all, it's most likely not going to happen if you don't initiate. People would most likely assume you are not interested in their muses, writing or blog and just leave you alone. I know how hard it is to take initiative sometimes, it can feel like a big step— it feels that way a lot of times for me too. But it takes two to tango. The sheer amount of times I thought my RP partners don't want to write or be partners anymore because they the engagement was one sided is ridiculous.
So, yeah. Be mindful of yourself and others when roleplaying or engaging with RP blogs.
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nctsworld · 3 years
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two nights, one you
✩‌ jaemin ‌x‌ ‌reader‌ ‌|‌ fuckboy!jaemin | strangers (who f*ck) to (brief) enemies to lovers | ‌10.9k 
SUMMARY‌ ‌⇾‌ a last-minute one night stand gone awry is extended into two nights when you’re snowed in at the cute (but rude) stranger’s apartment on christmas eve. [loosely based on the movie, two night stand] // part of the x-mas in ncity collection  GENRES ⇾ crack | smut | fluff  WARNINGS‌ ‌⇾‌ ‌lots of bickering and dialogue, smut, oral s*x (f and m receiving), fingering, mentions of alcohol/drinking, swearing, bit of angst before the end, jaemin’s an asshole... or is he? RATING‌ ‌⇾‌ explicit TAGLIST ⇾‌ @infnteen​ 
AUTHOR’S NOTE ⇾ it’s late (and long fsldkm), srysry but here it is! i hope the humour comes out in this and look away if falls flat zzz fingers crossed that i can finish the last two installments for this collection asap! 
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⇾ gif created by me, please don’t repost or share without credit!
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Maybe it’s because it’s the evening of Christmas Eve Eve and you’re feeling more lonely than usual.
Maybe it’s due to the two glasses of wine you guzzled down in the span of fifteen minutes that get you buzzed.
Maybe it’s your prominent six-month dry spell and you’re in desperate need for some much needed rain in your drought.    
Or maybe it’s just pure impulsiveness.
Regardless of the reasons, you’re aiming to get laid tonight.  
It’s 9:45pm as you make the rounds on Tinder. You’ve used it in the past, searching for a relationship in vain, but haven’t used it much since you broke up with your last partner. Bringing the app alive again, you’re already bombarded by distasteful messages, off-putting one-liners and jokes, and swiping left more than you’d like.
You haven’t had a one-night stand before, but isn’t there anyone on here that is just a little bit attractive, nearby where you are, around your age, and is somewhat chivalrous about the topic besides saying DTF? Maybe you need to lower your standards if you want to get dicked down tonight.
But then, you land on him.
One Na Jaemin, 20 years old, and only four miles away from you.
Scrolling through his profile pictures and Instagram feed, you assume that he’s into photography, is on the athletic side from the various hobbies he partakes in, and he must be at least half-aware of his beauty because there’s the occasional pic that shows off his lean, toned arms, which, if you can be frank, is more flattering than the shirtless ones you constantly see. Oh, and he attends the same university as you.
The cherry on top? His bio is simple and upfront:
“Not up for anything serious, but always down for a good time ;)”
You swipe right without hesitation.
“It’s a Match!” flashes instantly at you. Your mouth swings open in disbelief.  
Usually, you’d wait for your matches to message you and play hard-to-get, but not tonight. Tonight, you’re initiating and leading all the conversations, completely driven by your thirst.  
Messaging Jaemin is a breeze. He types with more than half a brain, and he flirts, but it isn’t overwhelming or repulsive. Segueing the current topic, you drag your bottom lip upward as you send the following message:  
so, hypothetically... if one were to have good time with you would tonight work?
Not even twenty seconds later and he replies with:
-wow, dont you go straight to the point -im impressed -but yeah -tonight works ;)
He’s quick to send his address.
-let me know when ur here and ill come get you out front!
Smacking your lips together, you squeal to yourself in the comfort of your home, excited to meet with him, but then a thought hangs over you—this feels a little too good to be true. Horrible scenarios run through your head, so your fingers dash across your phone’s keyboard:
tbh i haven’t really done this b4 so im kinda new to this is it ok if we video call or smth? gotta make sure you’re real and not a serial killer i’m sure you understand 😛
-for sure for sure -totally get it -ive had my fair share of fake girls and serial killers so i feel u 😛
Grateful for his consideration, you rush to rearrange your hair after you send him a Zoom link, hoping you look decent enough to not have him back off from his initial offer. He appears in the video call on his phone with the front-facing camera on a few seconds after you connect.
“Hi,” you chirp.
A corner of his mouth lifts. “Hey.”  
Okay, he’s definitely cuter in real-time than in his pictures.  
“You know, I’m not gonna lie, but I lowkey expected to see a dick or something,” you joke in an attempt to dispel your nervousness.  
“Same,” he chuckles, running a hand through his black hair.
Oh God, he’s not just cute—he’s devastatingly gorgeous.
“So, this is my place...”
Jaemin moves around with his apartment in the background, revealing his living room first. Envy prods you as you note the brick walls, high ceiling windows, and well-appointed furnishings.
Recalling his address, you ask, “How’d you get a place in the heart of the city?”
“Lucked out,” he shrugs. His phone shakes a bit as he’s still moving. “My friend slash roommate—who is at his girlfriend’s place tonight, so we have the place all to ourselves—his parents own the condo and they gave me a friend discount on the rent.”
He finally stands in one place and turns the light on to reveal a room. “And this is my bedroom.”
Nothing out of the ordinary. A desk table with a gaming set-up, in tow with a gamer chair, and a decently-sized bed beside a nightstand.
“Oh, and here’s my closet.” Jaemin’s on the move again as he opens his closet doors. “Just to make sure you don’t think I hide the skins of my past one-nighters in here.”
A bubbly laugh rises from you. “Okay, I didn’t think of that before, but now you’ve planted the seed in my head. Maybe you hide them in the other rooms.”
“Nah, my roommate would kill me if I did.”
Both of you laugh in unison, and you bob your head with puffed cheeks.  
“Okay, it all seems very promising. I’m going to get ready and I’ll guess I’ll see you in a bit, Jaemin.”
“Sounds good,” Jaemin nods, then winks. Although you’re sitting down, he’s still able to get you weak in the knees. “See you soon.”
You end the call and rush to bundle up for the snow starting to come down outside. A twenty-minute train ride later, you’re at the front door of a rustic, industrial apartment complex. After informing Jaemin you’re outside, you glance up at the snowflakes falling from the dark pink-grey sky, anticipating for what comes next.
Sex with a hot guy, what can go wrong?  
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So, you must’ve jinxed it because the sex is...  
Unsatisfying. Finished faster than you’d like it to be. Sadly, overall disappointing. If you had to rate it, three out of five stars, at best.
But hey, he came, and you sort of did, and it wasn’t the worst sex you’ve ever had. It half-quenched your dry spell.
And enough happened that it tired you out, leaving you passed out in the handsome stranger’s bed until morning.
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In the morning, your eyes slowly flicker, unused to the foreign, sweet scent engulfing you in your bed. Correction: Jaemin’s bed.
Your eyes flicker faster as you glance through the almost wall-sized window. The snow hasn’t let up from last night. On the contrary, it seems like it’s snowing non-stop. You groan at the thought of going home in this weather.
The bed is without Jaemin’s presence as you reach for your phone on the nightstand. 10:36AM and a few notifications greet you. You rub your eyes and start combing through them, rising upward to sit up on the bed.
“Morning. You’re finally up.”
Peering up from your device, Jaemin’s standing by the door with folded arms. His plain sweater and sweatpants match the colour of his hair. The dazzling smile he gives is so contagious, you’re not even conscious of catching one too.  
“Out you go.”
You blink.
Once, twice, and then you tilt your head as you stare blankly at him, uncertain if you heard him correctly.
After a few moments, because you’re not moving an inch, his smile dissipates and he cocks an eyebrow in expectancy. A serious expression rolls over his face.  
Suddenly, Jaemin strolls to the side of the bed and hitches his thumb towards the door.
You definitely heard him right.
And he’s dead-serious.
You replay the video call from last night, dissecting how you thought he was nice and funny and—
Realization dawns on you.
Why would you expect anything more from a two-faced fuck boy?
Still awestruck by the situation, you’re still solid as a statue, so Jaemin takes matters into his own hands and grasps you by your elbow, casually dragging you from his bed like he’s taking out the trash.  
“What the fuck?!” you screech.
“C’mon, let’s go. Out out.”
“My clothes, though!” you protest in the middle of the hallway. He sighs in frustration, scurries to the bedroom, and returns with a small pile in his arms, then continues to drag you to the front door.  
“Are you always this pleasant with your guests the morning after?” you rage, putting on the rest of your clothes by the door. “You don’t even have the decency to offer me tea or coffee?”
“This was a one-night stand, not a bed and breakfast, sunshine,” he says as he watches you put your shoes on. He’s folding his arms again and leaning against the wall, his attitude dripping with smug. If he wasn’t a stranger, you’d punch it off his face. “You weren’t kidding when you said you were new to this, huh?”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!”
“It means you’re a borderline virgin who needs to toodle-loo, get going and gone because you’re overstaying your welcome as we speak.”
Finishing putting on your coat, you’re fuming as your jaw hangs at the personal jab over your skills in bed. Jaemin swings the door open and shoves you through it.
“But I’ll admit, it was still nice having sex with you!” he chimes with a sickening grin and a hand on the door.  
“Aw, thanks asshole, wish I could say the same,” you sarcastically reply, resting a palm upon your chest.  
He scoffs. “From what I heard last night, I think I can confidently say that you had a great time.”
Flashbacks replay in your mind of your screaming fest from underneath him. Little did Jaemin actually know—
“You know, for someone who I assume has many one-night stands,” you spit with squinted eyes. “I’m surprised you can’t tell when girls fake it.”
You must’ve hit a sore spot because he grinds his teeth and you could almost see the steam coming out of his ears.
Oh yeah, you’re definitely the winner in this fight.
“Okay, you know what, Merry Christmas and fuck you. Have a great life!”
“Fuck you, dickface. Wishing you a miserable Christmas!”
With a bitter smile, you flip him off as he slams the door in your face.
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Carrying a basket filled with dirty clothes, Jaemin’s on the way down to the laundry room in the basement of his apartment with his shoulder scrunched up, squeezing his phone to his ear.
“Bro, she had the audacity to say that I didn’t make her come when she was screaming my God damn ear off—”
As he steps down the short flight of stairs and passes by the foyer area by the main entrance to the building, he notices you’re still here.
“Shit, uh, Jeno,” he mumbles. “I’m gonna have to call you back.”
He stuffs his phone into the pocket of his sweats and calls out to you as he strides closer. “Are you resorting to stalking me by my front door now?”
With crossed arms, you peer over your shoulder, eyes full of bitterness.
“Like I wanna be anywhere near you right now,” you grumble. You jerk your head towards the thick, wooden door. “It’s jammed from the snow.”
The laundry carrier shakes his head and places the basket onto the floor. “A little snow never hurt anyone. You’re probably just too weak.”
Stepping aside and holding out an arm, you signal for him to give it a try.
Jaemin twists the handle and, lo and behold, it doesn’t open. His forehead crinkles as he tries again and again, using more force each time.
Glancing through one of the partially frosted windows adjacent to the sides of the door, he notices the snow has piled enormously high, almost to the height of his chest.
“Well, shit.”  
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Reluctantly, Jaemin brings you back to his apartment. You’re technically his guest and if he left you in the foyer to freeze, trouble would surely come his way, whether it be in the form of his landlords (also known as his roommate’s parents) or the police.
Without a word, he settles a spoon in a bowl, a carton of milk, and a box of cereal onto the small kitchen table.
At first, you stare at it venomously in rejection, thinking you can easily last a day without any hand-outs from this son of a bitch, but your stomach roars ferociously three seconds later.
As you chew across from him, you enjoy the company of your phone over him, while he does the same but with a cup of coffee in hand.
After finishing your food, you adamantly place your phone down and lean back into the chair, boring holes into his head.
“Why are you such an asshole?” you seethe observantly.
“Why are you such a bitch?” he retorts, not pulling his gaze away from his phone.
“Because you started it,” you say slowly, stating the obvious.
“No, you.”
You sigh defeatedly at his childish behaviour. The weather apps predict the snow will (hopefully) die down by tomorrow morning, thus you’re officially stuck with him for the next twenty-four hours or so. Your hands rake through your hair.
“Whether we like it or not, the snow isn’t going away until tomorrow. Merry Christmas Eve to us, I guess.”
He’s still glued to his phone. You exhale another sigh.
“Since we’re not getting out of this until then, can we just...” You soften your voice. “Start over?”
His eyes are still on the screen, but from the way his shoulders tense and how he stops scrolling, you know he’s considering your proposition.
“At least call a stalemate over this.” You drift your hand in the air, gesturing between you and him.
Blowing out air and shaking his head, he rests his phone onto the table.
“Fine.”
He crosses his arms, imitating you, and the two of you sit there, staring at each other in a long silence.  
One minute, to be exact.
You’re the one to break the silence game by running your hands over your face, letting out a hybrid of a groan and laugh.
“God, the fact that we had sex makes this kinda awkward, huh?”
Jaemin’s exterior melts slightly, letting out a snicker. He shrugs, “Then let’s just pretend that we didn’t have sex.”
“We can’t just pretend that we didn’t have sex,” you say, holding two upturned palms near your face.
“We did it, it’s done. I’ve seen your penis, you kicked me out, and you labelled me a prude—” You dart a finger towards him. “—which I am far from, by the way. All of those are pretty huge things.”
One of the corners of his mouth raises high. “Are you saying my penis is huge?”
“No, the implication of said penis is huge. Wipe that smirk off your face.”
He stretches an arm, holding an imaginary microphone to your face. “Do you deny that my penis is huge?”
Rolling your eyes, you swat his fist away. “What am I, on trial here?”
“Do you plead the fifth then?”
Annoyed, you roll your eyes again. Why do you get the feeling that you’re probably going to be doing this a lot more today? Another feeling tells you that if you don’t answer his question, he’ll probably pester you until you do.
You tilt your head side to side. “It’s... decently sized.”
“Bigger or smaller than average?”
“Perfect...” His eyes light up. “...ly average.” And a frown rolls over.
He squints his eyes accusingly at your sneer. “Are you lying like you did before about faking it?”
You scoff. “I wasn’t lying about faking it, and I’m not lying now about your average sized dick.”
Jaemin releases a disgruntled grumble and lifts his cup to his face. You notice he likes to take his coffee black and bitter, presumably like his heart.
“So, Miss I’m-Not-A-Prude-and-I’ve-Definitely-Had-Sex-Before.” His eyebrows perk up on the word definitely. “What’s your story? Why the last minute one-night stand?”
Shrugging your shoulders to your ears, you reply, “Haven’t had sex in a while.”
“When’s the last time you had sex?” he asks mid-sip.
“Half a year ago,” you respond nonchalantly, perching your chin into your palms.
Jaemin immediately chokes, almost spraying the coffee through his nose.
“Half a year?!” he gasps. It takes him a few hits to his chest to dispel the coughing. “Six months?!”
“Wow, you can count!” you exclaim in a condescending tone. You change the position of your hands so that your chin is now atop of the back of your curled fingers and tilt your head. “Can you also spell?”
“As a premed student, I can assure you that I am capable of doing both,” he says with a slight strain due to the coughing fit. The humble brag brings on another eye roll. Of course he’s a premed student with the attitude he wears.
“It’s just—” He clears his throat and swallows the last bit of coffee stuck in his windpipe. “—The last time I had a dry spell was for like, a month, tops.”
So the fuckboy gets laid way more on the daily than you expect. You’re torn between being envious over how much action he gets in comparison to you, or remorseful, since you’re now just one of the many notches on his bedpost.
No matter, sarcasm is always the best defence mechanism.
“Good for you, Jaemin. I’m sure you’re very proud of that.”
There’s an awkward beat. His head hangs for a moment while his thumbs stroke the sides of his cup. A strange pinch of guilt occurs. Did you overstep an unspoken line? But then he drags himself back to reality in a heartbeat.
Jaemin brings the cup to his mouth again, mumbling, “At least the sex on your part makes more sense now; you’re rusty as fuck.”
Completely aware of what he said, you trash your guilt entirely and narrow your eyes. “What did you just say?”
Following a long sip, he hums, “Mmm, nothing.” Soon after, he stands up with his cup.
“I’m gonna go game now. Feel free to watch Netflix on the TV and stay in the living room.”
As if you had anywhere else to go...  
He begins to walk towards his room as you mutter under your breath, “I’m not a dog.”
“Says the bitch,” he pipes up, taking you by surprise.  
“Thought we had a stalemate?!” you shout, leaning your head forward as you watch him entering his room.  
“Doesn’t mean we’re on peaceful terms!” he sing-shouts.
The flinging of the closed door echoes throughout the apartment.
Regret surges through you. You just had to choose a fuckboy fluent in assholery and end up incidentally being isolated with him during a snow storm on Christmas Eve.
You wonder if you can handle being around him for the next twenty-four hours without killing him first.
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During the afternoon, you’re on the living room couch, playing a show as mostly background noise while you’re on your phone. At one point, your phone unsurprisingly begins to die and you tread over to Jaemin’s door to ask for a charger and if you can also take a shower. He’s still annoyed by your existence, but at least he hands you a charger and lets you know where the extra towels are.
Stepping into the living room with the towel in your hand as you dry your hair off, you peer out the large living room window and see nothing but white engulfing the streets and buildings as far as the eye can see.
You pray the snow will eventually stop as soon as possible so you can head back home.
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By the middle of the afternoon, Jaemin emerges from his bedroom and shocks you by plopping down on the opposite end of the living room couch from where you’re sitting.
“Bored?” you ask, eyes fixated on the TV screen.
“Nope,” he replies, popping the p as he says it. His slings his arm around the top of the couch.
“Gotta keep an eye on you in case you do something.” Turning away from the screen, he faces you and motions circles with his hand. “You’ve got a little crazy in you, I can feel it.”
You quickly glance over at him, but try to refocus on the TV. “Need I remind you that you’re the crazy one, dragging me out of the apartment right as I woke up.”
That compels him to turn his whole body towards you. “Well, you’re the one who wanted a last-minute one-night stand.”
You match his stance. “As if I’m the first girl in your bed to stay in the morning?”
“Actually, yeah.” He aggressively tilts his head to one side. “Most girls leave before I even get up. The other percentage don’t fight me when I ask for them to go, so it looks like you’re the odd one out.”  
You press your lips together, refusing to admit that maybe he has a point, under the assumption that he’s telling the truth.
Jaemin twists his body back to the screen and adds, “I make it very clear on my profile that I don’t do morning afters, sweetheart.”
And you agree that his profile is clear about his intentions, but that doesn’t mean you can condone his shitty behaviour.
“Well, sorry that I expected just an ounce of respect instead of getting kicked to the curb after you stuck your dick in me,” you grumble, shifting back to the show and crossing your arms.
“Morning afters lead to attachments, and attachments lead to feelings, and feelings lead to relationships,” he says the string of words clinically, as if it’s a mantra that he lives by.
Your eyebrows knit together as you whip your head towards him once more, studying him.
“And what’s so wrong with that?”
Deliberately averting your gaze, Jaemin grates his tongue between his teeth, a slight tsk audibly heard, and his chin juts out. There’s definitely a story behind his ways. He huffs and changes the subject.  
“Seriously?” He holds a hand out. “You’re watching this trashy show?”
Squinting your eyes at him, you could probably interrogate him further, but you decide otherwise.  
“It may be trashy,” you concur, looking at the TV. “But it’s my trashy comfort show.”
Following an over-the-top acted out scene between the show’s main love interests, Jaemin shoots up from the couch.
“Yeah, no, I can’t handle this. Can we either put on something else or game or something?”
“Why don’t you go back to your room to game, Mr. I’m-Not-Bored?”
“Like I said, I gotta keep an eye on you,” he says while bending over in front of the TV, already setting up the Playstation. He tosses you a controller as he strides to his side of the couch again.
He mumbles to himself, “Need to make sure you don’t go crazy from the lack of human interaction.”
Either Jaemin is selfish and only looking out for himself, or he wants to make sure you’re not feeling lonely in a stranger’s home.
Likely the first reason, you deduce—because why would a guy like Jaemin care about a mere one-night stand?
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Admittedly, you’re not the best at games, especially at fighting ones. You can comprehend the move lists, but you like to live by button smashing the controller and repeating moves over and over.  
So it’s hilarious when you beat Jaemin every round with your surprisingly fruitful technique.
“Okay, this is bullshit,” Jaemin complains, sticking his tongue out in irritation. His ass is currently being handed to him on a plate again since you’re almost done killing his character off. “You must be lying to me; you have to be a pro player or some shit.”
Jaemin’s health bar is dangerously low as your character jabs his with a sword. He winces out loud and you snicker.
“Why do you think I always lie about everything?! Dude, you have serious trust issues,” you joke before you steal the opportunity to slice his character. One more hit and he’s done for.
“I do not! I just—nooo!”
You rise to your feet and pump your arms in the air, turning in circles in joy over yet another win.
Sulking, Jaemin eyes your little dance from his end on the couch, but as he watches you more, a feeling balloons in his chest. Something he hasn’t felt in a long time.
Finally coming down from your post-win high, you spot an emerging grin from the corner of your eye, making you pause.    
“What?” you eye him suspiciously.
Your suspicion pops the sensation in his chest and, like a fish out of water, his eyes widen and his grin melts away.
“Nothing, uhm.” He ruffles his eyebrows and palms the back of his neck, quickly facing the TV. “Let’s go one more round and then we can switch to another game—”
Suddenly, the TV and surrounding lights switch off. Both of you waver your eyes, anticipating for them to come back on, but they unfortunately don’t.  
Jaemin rushes over to the window. When he swivels his head towards you, his face darkens.
“Looks like it’s at least the whole block. The streetlights are out too.”
Without another word, he dashes to the linen closet and brings back several blankets. He calmly explains that there won’t be heat since it’s connected to the electricity, so it’d be best to keep warm with the extra layers.
Not wanting to scare you, he doesn’t add the fact that due to the huge windows in the apartment, more unnecessary cold air will come in, but you’re already cognizant of it from your own logic and since the remaining heat dissolves rapidly.
You groan and retreat into the massive blanket over your shoulders, turtling your head.
You can’t believe you’re going to fucking die in this asshole’s apartment on Christmas Eve.
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On the ends of the couch in your makeshift blanket jackets, both of you attend to your phones for a while.
From what people and the news outlets are saying, it’s not just the block, but the whole city grid is out. You frantically text your friends, giving updates on how you are and half-jokingly telling them that you’re going to die with your dreadful one-night stand. Some time passes and Jaemin tosses his phone  off to one side.  
“Well, since there’s nothing else to do and we should probably conserve our phone batteries—” You glance up at him from your phone and pout. Slowly nodding in agreement, you toss it aside too. “—why don’t we play a game of ‘I’ll-Give-You-Pointers-on-How-to-be-Better-in-Bed’?”
A smile burgeons on his irritatingly handsome face and your eyes roll. At this point, you wonder if the reaction is conditioned into you. “It’ll be my early Christmas gift to you.”
“Wow, so thoughtful, how could I ever thank you?” You drag the blanket closer to your chest in false gratitude.
You think for a serious moment if you really want to go through with this. Hearing Jaemin run his mouth on you unwarranted is already painful, but to give him the go-ahead to do so? Especially criticizing your skills in bed?  
You blow out a sigh, noting the slightly visible cloud. You’re grateful Jaemin has thick, downy blankets.  
Well, if you’re going to die, may as well know what went wrong, right?
“Fine, but if we’re playing this game, we have to say everything honestly and take the criticism we get.” You point a stern finger. “No rebuttals, just acceptance.”
“Wait.” Jaemin crinkles his face in genuine confusion as his hand peeks out from his blanket.
“You have things to criticize about me in bed?”
Your lips tremble before you burst into laughter. Displeasure is on Jaemin’s tight-lipped face as you laugh for a while, almost keeling over in your blanket ball onto the hardwood floor. “How conceited are you, oh, my fucking God?”
He slices his hand through the air. “I’ve never had any complaints—”
“Because you’re too busy focusing on your own orgasm, you selfish dickwad,” you say as your laughter dies down.  
He sits in his snit for a few more moments until he gets over it.
“Fine, fine,” he huffs. Jaemin knows he’s not going to enjoy this, but he’s the one who suggested it. He can’t back out now. “Let’s just get this over with, you go first.”
With your blanket held by your chest, you hop off your end of the couch and shuffle over in front of him where he’s seated. Beaming, you begin.
“Let’s start with foreplay.” Jaemin’s eyes light up with confidence, thinking he’s at least decent with that. You crush his expression as your lips purse and you shake your head.
“Non-existent.”
“What do you mean?! I kissed you as you took off your clothes.”
You stick your free hand out from your blanket, extending your index finger.
“One: you only kissed my lips. You know, there are other parts of me to kiss, like, I don’t know, my neck, my arms, my shoulders.”
You extend another finger. “And, two: it’s weird to not help someone take off their clothes. Like you’re in a super rush to get somewhere or something—”
“We’re fucking!” he cuts in sharply. “This is a one-night stand, not a relationship.”
Closing your eyes and dropping your head, you pinch the bridge of your nose. You sigh in exaggeration.
“Thought we agreed no rebuttals...” you softly sing-say.  
Jaemin’s head sinks a little into his blanket. “Sorry.”
Removing your hand, you shrug. “Maybe there’s some rule that I don’t know about one-night stands, so this could be on me.”
You start to aimlessly tread back and forth in front of him, dragging the blanket along too. “But fuck, foreplay is foreplay for a reason. You work your way up to the heat of the moment and it makes sex much better, regardless if you’re in a relationship with the person or not.”
“Next point.” You stop walking and direct your focus on him. Pointing your finger and looking him dead in the eye, you ask, “Do you know what a vagina is?”
He snorts with a simper. “Uhhh, is this a rhetorical question?”
“No, I’m legit asking,” you say with a raised eyebrow and snarky smile. “Because when you went down on me, all you flicked your tongue at was the outside of it, also called the labia if you didn’t know.”
“I’m premed, of course I—”
“Which is great! But you didn’t go any deeper nor did you go near my clit.”
You thrust your finger again. “Do you also know what that is?”
“Yes...” he groans with the flickering eyelids.
You swipe your arm through the air. “Maybe make use of it, and not only when you go down on girls. Even during sex, touching it is great.”
“And lastly,” you continue. “I’ll be honest here, you have a decent dick.”
Jaemin waggles his finger. “So you were lying before—”
“I wasn’t lying,” you retort firmly. “But anyways, you’ve got the stuff, but why don’t you put it to better use?”
With the following words, you attempt to gesture with your body and execute moves as graphic visuals. Jaemin giggles at the sight.
“Vary the speeds and the angle, don’t just slam it in me and go crazy fast from the get-go. Build up to the climax. Jesus, I couldn’t even get close to coming because you’re like a jackhammer from start to finish.”
When you finally finish, Jaemin’s giggles morph into hollow laughs. Frustration is blatant on your face, pondering if he even absorbed a single word you said.  
After he calms down, he asks, “Are you done?”
You mumble, “Yeah, I think so.”
The two of you switch places. He shuffles onto his feet with his blanket while you sit back on the couch.
Jaemin pulls the blanket across the floor as he ambles. “Okay, your head game is decent—”
“Excuse you, my head game is strong.”
“Uh-uh, rebuttal,” he points out.  
You sigh. Pinching your fingers together, you drag the invisible zipper across your mouth, then wave your hand, allowing him to resume.
“Your head game is decent. You definitely can deepthroat, but—” He mirrors you from before and extends his index finger.
“One: this happened only a few times, but your teeth scraped against my dick, which is why I assumed you were a borderline virgin.”
You fume silently at the accusation, attempting to not speak up with a heap of rebuttals. But he wasn’t wrong—if you teethed on his dick, that’s a classic virgin move.
“But that’s okay, because we already established that you’re just rusty.” Jaemin flashes you a fake comforting smile as he continues to pace. You flash him one back.
“And two—” He holds another finger out. “Don’t be scared to use your hands and stroke me. Give my dick some love. If it’s too wet, just wipe your hands on the bed or something.”
“Okay, duly noted,” you hum. “Next.”
“Don’t be scared to touch me.”
“I touched you so much during—”
He shoots you a glare. You roll your mouth inward, your lips disappearing instantly.
“Your hands were mostly on the sheets, which is hot, but guys like to be felt up too.”
The attractive individual peers up for a second, thinking to himself. “Even hotter when a girl feels herself up during the fucking, but that’s beside the point. Baby steps, just remember to touch the other person.”
Jaemin does a full-stop and faces you.
“And just... don’t fake it.” Distress is evident in his pout. You hate to admit it, but it’s a little cute. He raises an arm and jerks it in the air. “Why do girls fake it?”
“Because guys with egos like you can’t handle criticism,” you reply bluntly.  
“What are we doing, having this conversation, hm?”
“We wouldn’t be having this conversation if it didn’t snow in and keep us here together.” You peel a hand away and gesture to the window. “If I walked out of here this morning, you would’ve just fucked the next girl the same.”
He defends himself, “Faking it just feeds our egos.”
“Yeah, well, if I told you afterwards that I didn’t come, what would you do?”
“Try to make you come in other ways?”
Shaking your head, you scoff. “Guys like you aren’t that considerate.”
“You’re right.” He assents, holding his pointer finger against his chest. “Because guys like me aim to please.”
A brilliant thought leaps in his mind and Jaemin gasps. You can only assume bad things from the wicked smile he sends your way.  
“Why don’t we try it again?”
Perplexed, you squint at him.
“Try what again...?”
“Sex,” he says enthusiastically.
You blankly stare at him.
“You’ve gotta be joking,” you deadpan.
“I mean, there’s nothing else to do and it’ll keep us warm.” 
You continue to stare at him until you groan.
“Oh, my God...” Your blanket droops a bit off your shoulders as you drag your palms across your face. “I cannot believe I’m stuck in this snowstorm with you out of all people...”
Sitting next to you, Jaemin persistently reasons with you. “Think of it also as another learning experience for the future partners we’ll have.”
“Yeah, if we don’t die first!” you shriek.
“We’re not going to die,” Jaemin replies in a mocking tone and a dart of his tongue.  
Outside the window, the snow seems to have slowed down, but not by much.  
God, Jaemin better be fucking right because you want to live to see another day.  
“Fine,” you mutter and match his gaze. “But we have to be vocal throughout the whole thing. Say whatever’s on our mind.”
“Fine,” he agrees to your terms. He produces the same wicked smile again. “But can we film it then? So we can study it after?”
You fire him a death glare that melts his face off, even in the frigid atmosphere.
“I’m joking, I’m joking,” he says, waving his hand.
They say that jokes are half-meant true, but you think Jaemin fully meant it. Still in your blanket jackets, Jaemin snags your free hand and leads you to his room.
“You gotta give me credit for trying, though.”
“No.” You shake your head with an unwilling smile creeping on the edge of your lips. On second thought, maybe the joke was a little funny, but you still stand by your opinion that he’s the most annoying person in the world. “I don’t think I will.”
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“Thank God Chenle has so many scented candles...”
On the edge of Jaemin’s bed, huddled by the blanket, you watch him light up several large jars, placing them on his nightstand and desk in hopes to brighten the room. It’s already late afternoon, but one could mistaken it for nighttime with the muddy sky due to the snow.
“Is Chenle your roommate?”
“Yeah,” Jaemin answers with a slight shiver, igniting the last candle near the bedside. He removed his blanket when he went to nab the matches and candles. “His girlfriend gets free ones from work, so she always gives him a shit ton, even though he never uses them.”
With a glowing hue against his face, he blows out the match. He makes his way to you, a cocky grin plastered on him, as he says, “Guess we’re making use of them now, though.”
Before you can even respond, Jaemin gets right down to business—sitting beside you on the mattress, he palms your face and drags you in for a kiss. You softly yelp, but immediately reciprocate.
The cover falls off your body as you reach to touch him, fingers drifting over his solid arms.
You don’t want to stroke his large ego, and maybe it’s because you haven’t had anyone else on you in a while, but Jaemin’s kisses are something else.
The cushiony pair of lips always executes enough pressure against your mouth, increasing and decreasing on command in perfect tandem and timing. His hands hover over your waist and the nape of your neck, fingers sinking into your hot skin.  
His mouth trails downward the side of your neck. You crane your head back, indulging in his caresses as soft moans trickle out.
He gently signals for you to recline back and lay onto the mattress, moving the sea of blankets aside. Inclined on his elbow, almost atop of you, his cool fingers glide under your top layers, his thumb stroking against your stomach.
Pulling away from your body, he tugs on the ends of your clothes. You rise from the bed to better the angle for him to discard of them.
The hairs on your skin are standing on end from the frigid air, but you’re too focused on Jaemin’s mouth migrating over your upper arm and your bra-covered chest to care. Without notice, he stuffs a cup of the bra to one side and takes your bosom into his mouth.
Air’s seized from your lungs and your core contracts from the pleasure. Your fingers tug on Jaemin’s luscious locks and his free hand squeezes your unoccupied breast.    
After a few twirls of his tongue and a gentle drawing of his teeth on the pointed tip, he mumbles hotly into your chest while he thumbs your other nipple, “Foreplay still non-existent?”
“It’s better, I guess,” you sigh with fluttering eyes. His chuckling reverberates against your cleavage, a sign of amusement from your obstinacy. A gasp pierces the room as Jaemin repeats his actions onto the other breast.
He aids you in taking off the rest of your clothes and, obviously aware of your goosebumps and shuddering, tells you to get underneath the blankets while he strips himself.
Under the toasty ocean of layers, despite how both of you are bare-boned and how easy it is to jump into the main act, Jaemin purposefully continues to prolong the foreplay. Side by side, your lips meld endlessly; your legs and hands are intertwined in an amorous pretzel.
Jaemin ensures he doesn’t leave any part of you untouched—the pads of fingers virtually graze over every inch of your body. Each grip and drag of his digits sends you in a frenzy. Your chest is pressed into him and your eyes are blinded with desire.
In the back of your mind, you think about how you were right about foreplay working up to the heat of the moment—literally, because you’re dripping, he’s hard, and you two have embraced so much that you don’t need the blankets anymore.  
On the other hand, you wonder if Jaemin was right about skipping foreplay, because with every whisper of each other’s name, the intimacy rises immensely. You don’t know him, and neither him with you, but you’re both freely drowning in one another in a plane beyond the lust.
Although the room’s beginning to smell of a mix of all the scented candles, Jaemin hones in and drinks in your sweet aroma and your entirety behind his hazy eyes and already tousled hair. All of a sudden, one drag of his fingers over a particular sensitive spot on your body makes you giggle.
“I’m ticklish over there.”
“You mean right—” He drums his fingers over the area again. “—here?”
With a toothy grin, he generates more suffering from you and you begin to lively howl. Soon enough, you beg him to stop.
“You’re such an asshat, c’mon, let me live!”
When he ceases, his head hangs over yours and your gazes connect.
The same feeling blooms in his chest from before in the living room.
He gulps as his eyes waver over your face, unknowingly tracing your beautiful features and etching them into his memory.
Your starry eyes. Your glowing aura. Your everything.
You barely register the change in his expression because he quickly tramples on his moment of weakness by kissing you passionately.
Jaemin whips the blankets aside as he lowers himself between your legs. Your eyes are fixated on him, matching his stare, until he starts to devour you by swiping against your lustrous folds. Your back bows, and, following a few more licks, Jaemin makes a point of his knowledge of the vagina by spreading your lips and ravishing your pussy, tongue penetrating deeply.
Rippled moans release in harmony with your undulating chest. You swear you’re getting more wet, too wet, likely making it overwhelming for Jaemin, but he’s eagerly lapping every drop up.  
“How’s that?” he inquires with a grin, hovering over your trembling nether lips. His mouth is evidently glossy, even under the dim lighting.
“Good,” you pant in the most nonchalant tone you can muster up. “Very good-ahhh—”
Jaemin kindly interrupts you by tonguing your clit as he fingers your sex deeply, shattering your fake indifference.
“Move your tongue up more,” you direct, creasing your eyebrows in despair. He follows your direction, and droning moans ensue.
Jaemin’s immersed in your pleasure, but also adding to his own. The more he laps up your wetness, the more he grinds his length against the bed, aching to be inside of you.
Your desire pulses faster, contracting tighter against his fingers, body winding tensely by the second.
“Fuck, Jaemin,” you whine, leaning your head to one side with a parted mouth. “I’m close.”
He draws back and temporarily replaces his tongue with his thumb.
“Good,” he pants, cocking his head to one side. His eyes are filled with determination. “Because I’m not stopping until you come at least two more times tonight.”
You exhale a light laugh. “That’s ambiti-ohgodohgod—”
His tongue works wonders on your clit once more, so much that he has to brace your bucking hips.
Okay, maybe Jaemin did learn a thing or two and actually listened to what you said during your critique.
But now it’s time to demonstrate to him what you’ve learned.
You don’t need much of a break to catch your breath, nor do you want to immediately freeze due to inactivity, so you pull Jaemin in for an intense kiss, tongue dipping into the remnants of your own nectar, then beckon for him to take your former place on the bed.
Perched on the bottom of your feet, you’re on one side of Jaemin, lackadaisically fisting his prominence. After a few strokes, you gradually swallow his inches, keeping in mind to relax your jaw and to not rush in order to avoid any potential teething. You do this to prove yourself worthy of giving head, but also in spite, because you absolutely do not need Jaemin to brand you a virgin again.  
You read his quiet groans and his long fingers running lazily through your hair as a positive sign and advance further.
Carefully, you rest your tongue beneath the underside of his cock and bob your head, licking him until he’s sopping with your saliva. His grip in your hair grows in strength as his length reaches the end of your throat, his groans becoming more and more drawn-out.
A needy whimper leaves him as you suddenly withdraw. Dribbles of your spit follow, and you wipe it off with the back of your hand.  
“How am I doing?” you glow in a pant, lazily stroking the doused shaft.
He simply nods with half-lidded eyes, barely able to look at you. “Yeah.”
You snicker at him in his breathless position, a prickle of pride running through your spine over the fact that you blew his mind as much as you blew his dick.
“Use your words, Jaemin.”
Teasingly, your fingers curl around his blunt head, soothing the sensitive tip and sending jolts throughout him.
“Fuck—” he pulls his bottom lip upward. “Awesome. You’re doing awesome.”
“Anything to critique?”
“Mm-mm,” he shakes his head restlessly. You revel a bit more in having the upper hand on him a little while longer. You grip him tighter and hasten your speed, leaving him gasping for air.
“Am I still rusty?”
“Nope, nope,” he croaks, voice rising to a whine. “Definitely not rusty.”
“You sure?” His cockiness has transferred over to you.
“Yes, yes—fuck, slow down, please,” Jaemin begs.    
Granting his wish, you abate your rhythm and free his inches from your touch.
You wipe your hands on the sides of the bed while Jaemin rummages through the drawer of his nightstand and hastily rolls over the rubber over himself before he prepares to enter the body beneath his.  
Recalling your advice, Jaemin mindfully starts off slow. You sigh blissfully in sync to his thrusts. He adjust himself, attempting another angle, and you draw in air between your teeth.
“There, there—“
Jaemin’s quick-witted and keeps at it, plunging a bit more vigorously. Out of habit, your hands grasp onto the bedsheets, but you wittingly attach them to his frame. Hands grazing his neck, his firm pecs, and his taut muscles.  
“Touch-touch my stomach,” he orders in a hush.
You hands follow through and feel up the flexed valley of his abs. Feeling up evolves into desperate gripping and even the slight dragging of your nails.
“Your abs are so fucking hot,” you state thoughtlessly, eyes eating up the view alongside his cock disappearing in and out of you. “Jesus, fuck.”
“Yeah?” he rasps with that devilish smirk of his. God, you want to smack it off him, but not right now—not when you’re reaching euphoria. “You’re not just saying that?”
Oh, you’ve definitely stroked his ego now, but there’s no turning back. Truth spills from you on a whim.
“You’re a fucking masterpiece,” you gasp acutely.
You’re starting to wither away, yet, as if they have a life of their own, your hands drift away from him and find a new home atop your breasts.
“You make me feel so good, Jaemin...”
Jaemin’s eyes go wide. His mouth hangs at the lewdness of you touching yourself.
“Fuck, holy shit.”
His gaze doesn’t leave your ecstatic face or humming body for a second as you knead your breasts and tweak your nipples between your fingers. Your back arches further when Jaemin deepens his sweet, fulfilling thrusts. He’s holding himself back, not wanting to end this beautiful deed just yet.
The stimulation bursts over your body, both from your own doing and Jaemin’s.  
You plead, “Faster, please, faster.”
And he complies, but he also rubs your bundle of nerves, causing a tight knot in you to build up and your shallow moans transform into heavy screams. You clasp onto his back and claw at the protruding shoulder blades.  
“I’m-I’m—”
You clench, both with your core and your nails digging into him, but Jaemin’s unrelenting, capturing your second peak for the evening.
Instead of coming after you, he shockingly veers lower and closer to you and curbs his pace.
“Was that real?”
You respond with an exhausted nod. Oddly, the smile he shows this time isn’t arrogant, but warm and teetering the line of tenderness. His lips fuse with yours before they stray towards your neck. The passion stews as he sucks your tits, all the while lunging laxly into you.  
With an obscene pop!, Jaemin removes himself from your nubs.
“Ready for the last round?”
His fast thrusts, hitting you precisely in the best spot, cloud your already weakened logic, deterring you from making any response.    
Perspiration is blatant on both individuals. For him, his forehead glistens gorgeously with his damp hair. For you, the back of your bent knees are gluing together. Your bodies are about to pass out, but you both persevere until the end.
As you convulse and perish together in beautiful agony, coincidentally enough, the bulbs in the room and in the streets leap to radiance.
Together, you collapse onto the bed side by side, panting heavily and laughing.
“Told you we weren’t going to die.”
You turn your head to see Jaemin looking at you with a cheeky grin. In retaliation, you stick your tongue out.
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By nighttime, it’s finally stopped snowing outside. However, the streets won’t be cleared until morning, at the very least.
But... you’re surprisingly okay with that.
In a turn of events, the sex inexplicably makes the two of you warm up to each other. There still is targeted banter and tension between you, lingering from before, but it’s less hostile and more playful.
During a fancy Christmas Eve dinner of microwavable pizzas, you poke fun at each other’s majors and discuss your respective hobbies in depth, especially his love for photography. Jaemin even asks if he can take a picture of you, claiming that the kitchen lighting actually looks nice on someone for once.  
“Is that how you collect the memory of your one-night stands? Instead of hanging their skins in your closet, you sweet-talk your way and keep all the photos of them?” you joke, referring to the video call from yesterday night. It feels like an eternity ago, but snowstorms tend to do that.
He chuckles behind the camera as he snaps a photo of you scrunching your face cutely.
“Yeah, but you’re the first one who has clothes on,” he says, glancing down at the photo on the camera roll.  
“Ugh, gross,” you cringe and take a sip of tea.
Jaemin doesn’t add anything further. He leaves out the fact that he never keeps any traces of his one-night stands, that you’re the first girl he’s taken a picture of in a while.  
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After a few hours of more talking and even some gaming with one another, sleep is much needed. Jaemin offers an extra toothbrush and a sweater and pair of sweats to sleep in. You’re facing each other on his bed, noses almost touching.  
“It’s been a while since I haven’t had sex with a girl before I slept next to them,” he whispers, adjusting himself comfortably. The side of his face rests on his piled hands. “It’s kinda nice.”
You cover your mouth as you yawn, then lay your hand back under your head, reflecting the same position as Jaemin.
“You know, it might be my sleepiness talking, but maybe you’re not the worst person in the world to be stuck with during a snowstorm.”
A lovely chuckle echoes in your ear. “I’m glad you’ve had a change of heart.”
After a few moments, your eyes are fluttering to a close until he softly calls out your name.
“Hm?” you stir awake, but not by much.
“Do you...?”
Jaemin doesn’t know what’s gotten to him, doesn’t quite understand why the defences he built for so long are crumbling down in only a day of knowing you.  
And yet, something urges him to give it a chance.
Blowing out a shaky sigh, he anxiously intertwines his fingers with yours. You hum softly at the action and a small smile blooms on your face.
“Do you want to go on a date with me sometime?”
“Hm?” His question doesn’t take you aback as much as you would be if you were fully awake. But even in your drowsy state, you have quips in hand. “Jaemin, the notorious fuckboy and serial one-night stander, wants to go on a date?”
“Yeah,” he replies gently, brushing your loose hair out of your face.
Another yawn. “I thought you said you don’t want feelings and relationships and all that shit.”
His fingers trace your pretty jawline and shrugs. “One date doesn’t mean we’re going to be in a relationship, I’m sure you know that.”
You pause for a good two seconds, but the two seconds feel like forever for Jaemin.
“Mmm, fine. One date, just one.” You barely hold up your pointer finger. “And only because it’s Christmas tomorrow. ‘Tis the season to be giving...”
Relief washes over Jaemin in the form of a smile. Embracing the blatant feeling in his chest this time, he plants a light kiss on your nose and wishes you sweet dreams, even though you’ve already fallen soundly asleep.  
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Sunlight pours over your eyes on Christmas morning.
Déjà vu peculiarly creeps up on you, but the only thing that’s the same as yesterday is waking up in Jaemin’s bed.
He’s next to you this time, deep in his peaceful slumber, instead of waiting for you to leave by his doorframe. The snow has finally stopped, and you think you hear the faint noises of snow plows outside. You inhale deeply and also notice the faded aroma from all the scented candles from last night.
The scenes of yesterday flicker across your mind. The incredible sex. The talking. The dinner. The interlocking of his fingers with yours.
The date he asked you out on.
You stare at him, watching him sleep with a sense of content.
Turning your body, you routinely check your phone, which is charging beside his. You have a slew of Merry Christmas texts from several chats and a few private messages from your friends.
Your attention falls on Jaemin’s phone when it lights up with a notification, likely texts from his friends and family too.
But that’s not what you’re focusing on.
Your heart sinks at the sight of his lockscreen.
It’s a picture of him and a girl kissing.
A twinge emerges in your chest and twists harder and harder.
Jaemin being a fuckboy, you can respect. People can do whatever they want with their lives.
But to cheat?
That’s unforgivable, and a true sin if there ever was one.
You scramble to dash out of there, careful not to make any noises in fear of waking Jaemin up. However, Jaemin’s sensitive to the sounds of the front door, so he rouses awake. His eyes flit open, noticing how you’re gone. He then sees his phone blowing up and adds two and two together.
With his phone in hand, Jaemin rushes to get on a coat and stuffs his feet into his boots, not giving a shit that he’s wearing his thin pajamas in the coldness. He’s bounding down the flight of stairs and onto the bright, white wonderland of the streets.
He swivels his head and catches sight of you almost past down the block, slowly trekking through the thick snow. Jaemin sprints, as much as he can, and hops towards you.  
He yells your name, making others on the street turn, but you don’t. You continue forward without looking back.
“Wait! I can explain!”
You’re trying to gain speed, but cardio isn’t your friend. Thankfully for Jaemin, it’s a close friend for him.
“I don’t wanna fucking hear it, Jaemin,” you grunt, hearing the rapid crunching of his shoes coming closer. “Get lost.”
“No, listen to me for a second.”
The boyish man grasps you by the arm and turns you around. You throw his arm away from you and he holds his hands in the air, letting you know that he respects your space. He drops his hands and sees that you’re seething, even worse than you were when he kicked you out yesterday.
“How are you going to explain your lockscreen with you kissing your fucking girlfriend?! Hm?”
“Ex,” he pants in clarification. “Ex-girlfriend.”
Your eyebrows mesh together in utter confusion.
“Okay? That doesn’t make me feel any better, knowing that you’re still hung up on your ex.”
Jaemin shakes his head and rakes a hand through his hair. You note the large clouds he exhales and how he’s barely wearing any clothes. A tinge of sympathy passes through you, wanting to give him some of your clothes for extra layers, but you smother that quickly in your state of rage.  
“I’m not hung up on her. Remember you asked me yesterday why I don’t want girls to stay the next morning?”
You cock your head impatiently, as if saying, “Yeah.”
“Well, I don’t want to attach myself to girls. I can’t. I...”
He lowers his head to one side. Shutting his eyes, a long puff emits from his mouth.
“She cheated on me.”
The snow plows in the distance can’t compare to the pumping of your heart in your ears. All the feelings you felt in the last day, but especially in the last fifteen minutes, jumble together in your head, making you feel uneasy and unsure of what to exactly feel or comprehend of the situation.  
But you do know one thing, despite the fact that you two barely know each other, the pained look on his face is real—that this is the untold story behind his ways.  
Jaemin lifts his head and holds out his phone for emphasis. “The lockscreen serves as a constant reminder that dating and feelings will and can fuck me up.”
Carefully, he steps a little closer to you and slowly cups your face in his shaking hands. You don’t pull away nor is there the same anger from moments before, so he daintily runs his thumbs over your cheeks.
“Until you showed me yesterday that maybe I’m willing to give it all another shot. Risk it all for fuck knows what, but you make it look like it’s worth it.”
He continues his ramble after adjusting some of your hair from the ongoing breeze.
“Sure, it’s Christmas today, but I don’t want you to say yes to going on a date with me just because it is. I want you to say yes because maybe you like spending time with me just as much as I like to spend it with you.”
You’re completely disoriented—your eyes are shifting everywhere but his eyes and your lips are quivering with no words coming out. He sighs understandingly. 
“Look, I know you’re probably having second thoughts and you don’t have to give me an answer right now. Think on it for as much time as you need, but I want you to know that I genuinely like you and I want to go on an actual date with you.”
He peels his hand away from your face and raises it into the air as if taking an oath.
“I, Na Jaemin, the notorious fuckboy and serial one-night stander, will devote to monogamy once again if it means I can date you.”
His hands grab yours, kisses the back of them, and then he presses one kiss onto your icy cheek prior to walking away.
“Merry Christmas,” he says with a sad smile. “You know where to find me if you change your mind.”
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Later that evening at your large family’s Christmas party, you take another dreadful gulp of your wine.
It’s the happy holiday season, but why does everyone feel the need to stick their nose in your dating life? Well, really, a lack there of.
“Why are you still single?” Layers of their voices resound the same question in your head. You take another swig.
Potential unsaid answers that you kept to yourself fly around as you swish the drink in your glass.  
Because you choose to be.
Okay, not really, but it’s the easiest answer.  
Because you haven’t found the right guy to get you back in the game.
What does that even mean? What makes the right guy even right?
The right guy? It’s someone who makes you laugh, someone who gives as good as they can take it, someone who wants you just as much as you do.
The cogs move in your head as you take one more sip before you finally come to the conclusion—  
Because you didn’t find the right guy until last night.
Despite the mess of today and yesterday morning, you realize that Jaemin is... actually sort of sweet. Annoying, yes, but he keeps you on your toes. It’s a plus that he’s easy on the eyes, but it’s a bigger plus that he’s even easier to talk to.
And if he can find it in his scorched heart to trust you, you can find it in your heart to trust him too.  
You quickly say your good-byes to your family and let them know you have other plans with friends tonight.
As the Uber rolls up to his apartment building, you realize you probably should’ve messaged him on Tinder, but it’s worth a shot to see if he’s home. Anyways, impulsiveness is a controlling entity, as evident from your Christmas Eve Eve’s adventure.
And in retrospect, perhaps Jaemin was the perfect pick of the crop after all.  
Someone’s entering the building and lets you in behind them. You take the stairs two at a time and hear booming music coming from his floor. At first, you assume it’s from other apartments, but it’s all coming from one—his.
Without a thought, your knuckle taps the door.  
A handsome figure that’s definitely not Jaemin opens the door. Behind him, you see a group of young men scattered around the living room, and some have a few girls tucked under their arms.
The man eyes you up and down with a spark in his eye. He’s not Jaemin, but he surely reminds you of him.
“And who might you be?” he asks.
“Who’s at the door, Jeno?” An unknown male voice hollers in a high pitch from the couch. He’s one of the guys with a girl attached to him.
You blink. “Uhm, I’m—”
“She’s with me!” Jaemin shoves the flirty stranger aside and tugs you by your wrist, making headway to his bedroom. He flips the light switch on and the door clicks shut.
“What are you doing h—”
You cut him off with a kiss.
An innocent one, at first, with hints of alcohol on each other’s lips. Your arms wrap around the other and the passion increases with the mingling of your tongues, each party tasting and confirming the specific drinks you both consumed tonight.  
Jaemin forces himself to pull away and presses his forehead against yours. “Did you just come all the way here to kiss me, or...?”
“Maybe I came over to ask... if I can stay with you for another night?” you playfully ask, fingers intertwining behind the nape of his neck.  
He chuckles heartily. His fingers sink into the sides of your waist. “Is my dick that great? The sex with me that amazing?”
“Mmm, that’s definitely a benefit,” you agree, fluttering your nose against his. “But I want more than that—“ You poke a finger to his chest. “—I want the man behind the dick.”
Your gazes converge, bringing you together as one.
“I want to go on that date with you. I want you, Jaemin.”
He flashes a megawatt smile that could compete with a million Christmas lights, but it fades suddenly and you’re unsure why he seems like he’s about to bawl his eyes out.
“That’s so beautiful, I might cry.” He brings a finger to his eye, pretending to shed a tear.
Oh, yeah—you’re definitely going to need to hire someone to constantly shove your eyeballs back into your sockets if you’re going to date Jaemin.
“Oh, shut up,” you whisper, yanking him in for another kiss.
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Three dates later, including a memorable New Year’s Eve, you finally decide to rid of the Tinder app for good.
With his arm around you on his living room couch, Jaemin glances over your shoulder.
“Really? You’re finally deleting your Tinder?”
You snort in disbelief. “That’s gold, coming from the King of Tinder himself. When did you delete?”
He turns to face the television and shrugs coolly.
“Maybe I didn’t.”
“Wouldn’t put it past you,” you nod, eyes still on your phone.
“Nah, I’m kidding, I did.”    
You sharply turn your head.
“No way. When?” you press with narrow eyes.  
A shy smile emerges on Jaemin’s face as he picks his pants over his thighs.
“On the night of Christmas Eve, after you agreed to go on a date with me.”
7K notes · View notes
ramzawrites · 3 years
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I've always liked the idea of eastern dragons, long bodied and often aquatic in nature. And ever since the movie Raya and the Last Dragon came out, I've only grown more enamored with them.
Then came the idea of the Sleepy Bois with a water dragon hybrid reader. I don't know, I just thought it'd be fun to see Phil freak out about a mystical dragon hybrid, Techno chilling out with another hybrid friend, and Tommy challenging this water dragon warrior to a fight. It could just be me, but I thought it would make a fun request.
And for fun, this water dragon hybrid wields a trident for a weapon, cuz you know, ocean n stuff.
A Dragon Friend - Reader and SBI
GN
Pairings: None
Characters included: Philza, Wilbur Soot, Technoblade, Tommyinnit
Warnings: none
Series: a request :)
Summary: Wilbur brings home a new friend so his family can meet them. To Phil’s shock it is a Dragon Hybrid, just one of the rarest kind of people out there that tend to stay away from society. No big deal really. Then again of course Wilbur managed to befriend them.
Words count:
Authors Note: I am not too knowledgeable on easter Dragons so I generalized it more into the Dragons I know of, I hope this is fine :0
Wilbur threw open the gate that led into the front yard of his home.
Philza was currently kneeling in the dirt as he took care of the growing vegetables and other plants. It was his little hobby to take care of these plants, though he isn’t the only one who took care of them. Technoblade, the oldest child of his, begun taking interest in this little hobby of his as well. Though right now Philza was working alone. His clothes covered in dirt but still wearing gloves that protected his hands from it.
As he looked up, curious why suddenly the gate crashed shut, he could see an incredibly happy looking Wilbur standing in front of another teen.
He had to do a double take as he realizes who was standing next to him. Blue scales were growing along their jawline, sneaking at times into the face and going down their throat and arms. Ending at their fingertips. Philza also managed to spot unmistakably gills at the side of their throat, now closed shut due to them being in the air.
Though the thing that was probably the biggest give away to their nature was the long, elegant tail behind their legs. Swishing around nervously in the air. It was mesmerizing to see the scales moving around and glinting in the sun.
On their back was a shining and sharp looking Trident. The bright and colorful shine alone gave him idea enough of how incredibly well enchanted the weapon must be.
Philza threw his gloves off and walked closer to Wilbur, his face contorted into a mix of shock and worry while Wilbur looked like he just had the best day in a long while. For some reason he couldn’t help but suspect that Wilbur must have done something.
“Hey, dad! I wanna show you my new friend!”
“Friend? What do you mean friend?”
He needed to know more. During his travels he has only met a few Dragon Hybrids since they liked to keep to themselves. It was rare to meet one and he was pretty sure it was near to impossible to get them to leave their clan to follow someone else around like this. Knowing Wilbur something must have happened, then again, he was quite charismatic and has surprised Philza before with his people skills.
Wilbur nodded enthusiastically “Yes! This is Y/N and they are my cool friend! We met a few weeks ago.”
Well, that explained why he suddenly visited the ocean so often.
Y/N took a step forward and gave Phil a quick nod as a greeting “Hello, I hope this isn’t a bad time. Wilbur just told me so much about his family that I couldn’t help but be curious. He just wanted to help me satisfy my own curiosity towards people on the outside.”
And here was the explanation why they just followed Wilbur like this. They were curios and not afraid enough to follow up on it.
“Ah, okay. It’s, uh, fine. My name is Philza. Nice to meet you Y/N.”
It was obvious that Phil was still trying to wrap his head around this situation. It just kind of felt unreal and yet it just made sense. This family and the world were already so Ender damned weird, this might as well happen.
Wilbur didn’t seem to be bothered by his father’s clear confusion “Where are Techno and Tommy, by the way? Are they home?”
Phil slowly nodded “Yeah. Both should be in the house.”
“Thanks, Dad. Let’s go Y/N! You have to meet my brothers as well!”
He then grabbed Y/N’s hand and pulled them along towards the old but sturdy wooden door that led into their home.
Before Wilbur could open it though Phil yelled out one more thing towards Y/N “If any of my sons are too much or just generally annoying don’t hesitate to get me, I also give you full permission to just tell them off.”
Y/N couldn’t give him an answer though since Wilbur just opened up the door and dragged them in but at this point they were used to Wilbur and taking the charge like this at times so all they did was follow along.
“Your father seems nice, even if a bit sur-“ but Y/N couldn’t finish the sentence. Wilbur pressed his finger against his lips, giving them the sign to be quiet. They were confused but begun following Wilbur as he slowly opened up a door to what Y/N assumed to be the living room.
In the middle of a couch, with his back turned towards the door, sat another teenager with pink hair and pink ears poking out of it.
They might have never met him, but Y/N could immediately tell that this must be Technoblade. The older one between the twins. Even if only by two minutes according to Wil.
Now, Y/N was very interested in meeting Technoblade as well since he too was a Hybrid and they had only been in contact with fellow Dragon Hybrids.
Though right now, Y/N was just watching.
Watching Wilbur who was sneaking up on his brother. His hands out, obviously he planned on somehow scaring him by suddenly touching his shoulder. And just as he got close enough to slam his hands down, Techno loudly shut his book.
The next thing Y/N heard was a bang and saw that Wilbur sank down to the ground, holding his nose and crying out in pain. Techno’s hand with the book in the air.
He slammed the book into Wilbur’s face.
Y/N let out a chuckle but more out of surprise than anything. They knew from Wilbur that Techno was an incredible fighter and had amazing reflexes but somehow they didn’t expect this.
“What the hell, Y/N. Here I am on the ground dying and all you do is laugh?”
They just rolled their eyes and helped Wilbur back up. His nose was a bit red but nothing more, he probably reacted more out of shock than anything.
Technoblade stood up with a sigh and turned around “You really think I couldn’t hear you? I knew as soon as I heard your sneaking steps what you were planning, nerd.”
With Techno now turned around Y/N couldn’t help but be amazed by his Hybrid features. Two huge tusk decorated his face, bristle like fur growing along his arms and now they could see that the ears were definitely that of a pig.
As Y/N stared at him and Wilbur was still cursing his brother out, Techno noticed how Y/N’s gaze was transfixed on him in awe.
He raised one of his eyebrows “Uh, hi?”
Y/N’s eyes widened “Oh! Sorry! My name is Y/N! Wilbur was so nice to show me around since I usually stay with my own clan.”
His own gaze fell then onto his brother who just nodded to show that this was indeed the truth “Mhm, yeah. Pretty much, also, I was so quiet! How did you hear me?”
As an answer Techno just pointed at one of his animal ears “I have better hearing, remember?”
Wilbur scoffed “Yeah, yeah. You are so much better than us. Better hearing, better nose and even better eyes, but we non-Hybrids are pretty cool too.” He then looked at Y/N expectantly as if to wait for them to support his statement.
But Y/N just squinted their eyes and took a good second to stare Wilbur down “Are you- You know who you are talking to, right? I can breathe under water, my eyes are better as well and I have a Ender damned tail.”
“Okay, maybe I talked to the wrong person.” He admitted.
Techno chuckled and moved next to Y/N and held his hand up, palm towards them. It took them a small moment to understand but their own palm soon clapped together with Techno’s.
“Hybrid Buddies?” he asked.
“Hybrid Buddies.” Y/N confirmed.
They might only really know Techno now for about a minute, but they could tell he mostly did this to infuriate Wilbur even more.
Wilbur just sighed and cupped his hands around his mouth “Tommy? Get to the living room for a sec!”
“Oh, are you getting backup?” Techno mused.
At this point Wilbur just looked unamused, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he waited for the youngest brother to react.
The sudden sound of rumbling and loud steps from above seemed to be this answer.
“What do you want Wil! I was working on something! Wait, who is that?” Tommy begun yelling out as soon as he arrived at the stairs only to stop once he walked into the room properly to see Y/N who greeted him with a little wave.
“This is Y/N. I met them a while ago and wanted to show them where we live.” Wilbur put his arm around his younger brother as he begun explaining.
Tommy seemed to be incredibly confused but nonetheless intrigued. His eyes darting from Y/N to Wilbur and only for a split second jumping to Techno “Okay? Hello, Y/N. I’m Tommy.” He then squirmed away from beneath Wilbur’s arm, taking a closer look at them “Woah! What are you? You look awesome! Is that a trident? I thought they were super rare! It’s also enchanted! I mean… you seem to be alright, I guess.”
Y/N laughed, more at the reactions of both Wilbur and Techno who seemed to grow incredibly tired as Tommy went along with his usual spiel “Oh! I’m a Water Dragon Hybrid! Also, yeah, I got that trident from my parents as a way to protect myself. We primarily live in or close of water, so, tridents are incredibly useful to us. Also, they mean a lot to us as well.”
They then got the trident off their back to let Tommy have a better look at it. He looked awestruck. Not only at the revelation that Y/N was a Dragon Hybrid but that weapon seemed to really have enamored him somehow.
A dangerous glint appeared in his eyes as he looked back up “This is cool but nothing against me and my sword.”
Technoblade seemed to be bewildered at that “You just have an iron sword what are you talking about?”
But Wilbur put his hand on Techno’s shoulder “No, no. Let him. Let’s just watch.” It was clearly Wilbur’s chaos was getting the better of him and Techno was too tired to deal with that.
“Your sword? Are you sure? Even if you have an enchanted iron sword, I’m pretty sure it would be nothing against a trident, especially since I am very well trained with this weapon.” Y/N seemed almost smug.
Tommy puffed up his chest and placed his hands at his sides “But my father is the one and only Philza and he taught me everything! There is no way you even stand a chance against me! Fight me and I’ll prove it to you!”
Y/N rolled their shoulders “Okay, little one, let’s get outside and fight! I’ll show you.”
“Little one? Little one?!” Tommy repeated flabbergasted. How dare they call him little.
The sound of the closing front door rung out through the house which was soon followed by an annoyed groan “I swear by Ender. I leave you alone for a few minutes and I already hear Tommy screaming about wanting to fight our guest. Amazing first impression for Y/N.”
He appeared at the door, gloves still on this time. His expression pulled down into a strict frown as he looked around at the scene in front of him.
Both Tommy and Y/N were standing in the middle of the room, turned towards each other due to their bickering while Techno and Wilbur stood to the side. Techno had a skeptical look about him while Wilbur couldn’t help but smirk at the argument of the two.
He purposefully didn’t say it, but Y/N was being trained as a full-fledged warrior of their clan. It was their job to keep off mobs and unwanted guests away from their family. Tommy would have no chance against them, but he couldn’t help but still wanting to see it. Besides Y/N wouldn’t seriously hurt him.
Honestly if anything Wilbur really wanted to see Techno and Y/N fight. In Wilbur’s eyes Techno was definitely the best fighter he knew but Y/N was a close second and while he couldn’t understand it, he also knew that those two would probably bond over fighting each other.
Tommy pointed at Y/N “Well, they started it! Just strutting in here with a weapon! I have to protect our home!”
Philza shook his head, already done with his mischief “Is that right?” He directed that question towards the other teens.
Wilbur just continued smiling while Y/N and Techno just shook their heads.
“Alright. Tommy, stop lying and no fighting. How about you guys just help me make food, at least then I know what you guys are up to.”
This seemed to pull Wilbur back out of his chaotic loving thoughts “Oh! That reminds me! Can we make cookies? Y/N never had any.”
Even Techno, who acted calm and collected, looked shocked towards Y/N. They lived for this long with never eating any cookies? Now that just seemed wrong.
“Sure. Let’s make some cookies then. Is that alright Y/N?”
Y/N���s eyes widened “Oh? Uh, yes! I would love to! It seems to be a big thing that I never had any so I really want to try them!”
Excited Tommy threw his arms in the air “Cookies!”
Laughing at his little brothers’ antics, Wilbur joined in and cheered as well “Cookies!” He then followed said brother and his father out the living room and into the kitchen. Leaving Y/N and Techno behind.
While Y/N was excited as well they were still a bit overwhelmed with this sudden reaction right after being threatened by Tommy. Techno seemed to notice this and put one of his hands on their shoulder “Don’t worry too much about what Tommy said. He was seriously impressed by you, but he unfortunately has an incredibly huge ego with nothing to back it, hence the insults and threats. So don’t worry too much about it. Wilbur seems to really enjoy your company and I too think you are… interesting company. Yes, let’s say that. If you are really such a great fighter, we definitely have to spar at some point though. I rarely get the chance to test my skills against other people besides my family and mobs.”
“I would love that.”
“Nice. Let’s join the others. Seriously, you have never eaten any cookies? How is that possible?”
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lovee-infected · 3 years
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Your character analysis posts are really accurate! I like how you want to show that a character is a lot more than they show. It kind of angers me that there are people who headcanon the boys as something they're not, or they saying that they're this one personality trait only. What other characters from twisted get mischaracterized, at least in ur opinion?
THANK THANKK !! XD
I really enjoy going into depths of characters' personalities because damn- there were some big brains behind their creations!
This question was rather important so I couldn't decide on any specific characters to talk about, so I decided to list all of the twst characters and how they'd often get mischaracterized.
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Mischaracterization isn't bound to twst fandom because as long as a there's a fandom, fanon interpretations of characters exist.
Almost any character in any fandom can be mischaracterized at some point, but it isn't always that noticable or important. Mischaracterization often becomes noticable when pretty different interpretations of rather 'popular' characters exist within a fandom, which causes many to argue over what the correct interpretation is.
For now, I'm dividing all of twst characters into "5 groups" to explain how each of them might often get mischaracterized.
Group A: Complex personalities
It's simple, these characters can be quite hard to understand. It's either because of having too many features at the same time, which makes them quite hard to read because we'll need to achieve a balance between all of their different personality aspects, or being quite secretive and mysterious which awfully bounds our knowledge regarding these characters and their personalities.
•Malleus Draconia: We previously talked about Malleus; the main reason of him getting mischaracterized is having plenty of spine-chilling features while having considerably childish and innocent hobbies at the same time. This opposition often makes it hard to decide on what the cannon Malleus is like, because it can hard to choose one between his darker side and softer side. What we need in order to achieve a rather cannon interpretation of Malleus, is a balance. Just as I previously said: Malleus isn't a baby, but he isn't a monster either.
•Lilia Vanrouge: Even without going into depths, you can tell that Lilia's personality is complicated as hell. Though I can't really tell that he's being Mischaracterized because the cannon Lilia himself can switch into a totally different personality in a matter of second, one moment he's a 90+ year old father trying to lead his children into he right path, one moment he's an unraveled neon teenager playing the ear-scrathing heavy metal with that guitar of his, and the other second he's an absolute monster which can creep the heck out of you with a simple "Boo". Lilia can also get plenty of different personalities through fanon interpretations:Yandere Lilia/Vampire fae/ Papa Lilia/ Daddy Vanrouge many other details which I can't go through now,but let me just say: A Lilia analysis would be rather long, and interesting one.
•Jade Leech: Speaking of reading characters, better know that this mister eel Leech is an absolutely tough one. You'll never know what he's hiding behind that friendly yet evil smile, or what intentions might be behind his extreme will to play the role of the butler and help everyone out. Understanding this Sebastian Michaelis complex is an absolute challenge and this is probably one of the things that makes him so Interesting, you always know that he's hiding something dark on the inside, yet you can't really tell what it is.
•Cater Diamond: This might be rather hard to notice, but there's a lot about Cater which is left untold. Despite his sweet and positive appearance, his personality is actually a bitter-sweet complex of too many emotions and a pretty well-written background. The amount of info found through his voice lines and personal stories is rather amazing as if you're reading a real boy's life story! But this amount of detail and considerably dark aspects of his personality can make it really hard to understand what's going on in this mysterious mind; especially because of how he seems to be hiding a second face under that friendly smile.
•Jamil Viper: Jamil can be quite hard to read. He isn't really emotional and hardly ever expresses his true feelings. Even NRC students agree that he can be quite a mystery, from his past life and daily struggles to how many of his true feelings and intentions remained a secret until chapter 4. Jamil is a complex of pain, power, hatred and patience. His background is perfect example of a villainous story and how a child can grow to be a villain, which is quite interesting! Jamil's story is worthy of a detailed analysis and some time for all of us to understand what this guy has been going through.
•Rook Hunt: We often tend to know him as Pomefiore's "dramatic stalker", and he surely is! The fanon interpretation of Rook doesn't usually go against his cannon interpretation (Expect for the times that people get salty over his appearance or attitude- Which leads to the creation of countless Rook memes-) While it's true that he's more than just a French stalker, it can be hard to talk about anything else when it comes to Rook, because the cannon Rook tends to hide a lot about himself, leaving us with a considerable lack of useful information to use. He really got us all there, huh? Even as he's a fictional character and we're living in real life- he tends to control what we know and think of him-
characters that can also belong to this group: Leona Kingscholar, Idia Shroud, Vil Schoenheit , Floyd Leech
Group B: Ignoring important features:
This group can get easily mischaracterized, mainly because each and every of them has an specific feature that really makes them stand out. (Ex: Riddle's short temper, Azul's soft and sensitive side, Sebek's obsession with Malleus,...) But paying to much attention to that one specific feature often leads to ignoring everything else about their personalities, and gives them a pretty simple and fanon interpretation which can sometimes be the total opposite of the detailed and cannon one.
•Azul Ashengrotto: Azul's fanon picture had an extreme change after chapter 3, mainly because of how his background and breakable side was revealed; the cruel and heartless mafia boss turned into the soft and emotional baby. This sudden change in perspective stole the hearts of many fans and the fandom in general came to appreciate Azul even more, but at some point it caused his most important feature to be forgotten: Azul tends to be strict about hiding that sensitive side of his, so the Azul we get to see in general is the fearful picture of the mastermind who's taken the magics of many away, not that baby Octopus who used to cry whenever other kids bullied him because he was different. Getting to know his background and true feelings made us forget about his professional and strict side which is indeed the most important side of his personality!
•Idia Shroud: Baby boy, soft child, sweet tooth cutie, pretty little emo,...and hundreds of other nicknames to appreciate Idia and his iconic nature. But in contrast to what many assume based on his appearance and social anxiety, Idia is way different from just a shy yet adorable nerd; this guy is seriously hiding some evil inside. If you go through his stories and get to the points where he's thinking with himself, you'll see how different he can be. While he can't really get to tell these properly through his main lines, you can find him secretly insulting and nagging at how annoying some people are several times. It isn't just about being shy, Idia obviously dislikes many of the people around him. Focusing on his social anxiety and awkwardness causes us to forget how different he is when he isn't forced into a face-to-face conversation, also note that there are many thoughts going through this guy's brain that you probably hadn't thought of.
•Floyd Leech: While Jade's personality is obviously a pretty complicated one, Floyd's character is even more confusing because of his playfulness and seemingly childish manners. But it's important to remember that deep inside, floyd is just as mysterious as his brother. Describing Floyd as childish and dumb is equal to falling into Yana's trap, because Floyd is designed as an extremely smart and somewhat of sadistic character. It's so important to know that he's way more than just a chaotic eel or an playful idiot, Floyd literally has anything needed to be ranked among the most dangerous characters of the game, his personality along side his magic and genius can be quite deadly.
•Sebek Zigvolt: To be honest, many of us are just doing him dirty. Look, it's true that Sebek's often caught praising and talking about Malleus but please do not forget that Sebek as well has got his very own personality! Associating Malleus with whatever he says or does (especially through fanfictions) is somehow fading his character because most of the things I get to read or hear about him involves Malleus. Come on! This is Sebek that we're talking about, not Malleus! I understand that talking about Malleus is legit something he often does but while you're writing a fanfic, please remember that Sebek has got hundreds of features and personality manners to talk about other than talking about his "Waka sama". So instead of just focusing on his Malleus appreciation habit, try to get to know his very own features and personality! In many of fanon interpretations, Sebek is bound to doing nothing but talking about Malleus and only him which is pretty unfair! We should all take some time to talk about Sebek himself, not his obsession with Lilia or Malleus.
•Riddle Rosehearts: I understand where this is coming from, but I want to see something more than an angry Riddle shouting and screaming about the importance of rules and harshly forcing others into following them whenever I read something that involves Riddle. I see how being angry and turning as red as a tomato is his rather famous feature but we shouldn't ignore everything else about hum because of it. Other than his background and mentionable talents and abilities as the greatest dorm leader Heartslabyul's history, keep this in mind that Riddle did decide to try and change his way of leadership and reduce his obsession with rules after his overblot.
Characters that can also belong to this group: Vil Schoenheit, Rook Hunt, Kalim Al Asim, Silver, Epel Felmier
Group C: Ignorance/Lack of information
The reason with this group is obvious, we need to talk about them more often! While they're all great characters with interesting designs and personalities, it's somehow rare to see anyone doing a proper analysis of their characters, either because of not going through their details or stories, or even going through them but not finding anything special.
•Ace Trappola: Both Deuce and Ace are characters who have appeared through all of the chapters so far, which means that we've had the chance to get to know them better than any other character in the game! But their fanon interpretations are pretty simple and sometimes, boring. Most of us don't even realize that we're mischaracterizing them-! I often see them being pictured as either stupid or loud and troublesome. Ace for example, got a really strong plot about how he'd go through a relationship and his past experience in the ghost marriage, which can be a strong guide to how we should picture Ace in reader inserts, but sadly we're just sticking to fanon interpretations and don't give his personality the detail and cannon depth he deserves. Let's note that he can be quite evil, smart, logical and unpredictable too at the time.
•Deuce Spade: Deuce's case is pretty similar to Ace. I'm not saying that he's a totally different one from how the fandom is characterizing him, but come on, Deuce isn't just a chicken dummy! We've learned a lot about his relationship with his mother, his past life, his relationship with his close friends, his hobbies and his will to become a great magician so there's a lot we can say about him! Instead of just sticking to his clumsiness and sometimes, stupidity it's better to consider those features and details to describe him. Not only will it make us have more of a cannon interpretation on Deuce, but it'll also inspire us to create newer and more creative content for him!
•Silver: Look, while many of us love this sleepy guy, we need to understand that he isn't just a sleeping beauty or Lilia's cute son! Let's admit something, we're facing a lack of Silver content and even as we go through most of the existing Silver fanfics and content, it either has something to do with his sleeping issues or his relationship with idia, maybe some arguments with Sebek as well but it's rare to see anyone talking about anything else than these when it comes to Silver. His relationship with Lilia and Malleus, he way he appears in others' side stories, how he handles his tasks and the way Malleus and Lilia describe him is telling us that there's a LOT about him which we often ignore!
•Trey Clover: It's true that the cannon Trey isn't that different from the fanon one, but I can tell that the fanon Trey lacks quite a few of the cannon features. We're giving him a rather solid and sometimes boring personality of Heartslabyul's calm and collected mum who treats everyone nicely regardless of how reckless or annoying or rebellious they are. But the real Trey does express annoyance and uncomfortablitiy from time to time, he can even be quite sarcastic. If you come to get a close look, you'll see that Trey isn't always as nice as he seems to be.
•Ruggie Bucchi: I genuinely adore Ruggie's personality design, especially how he mostly comes of as a mysterious troublemaker but at the same time, he's being a tiny family man on the inside. Watching how he can be quite reckless toward other students in NRC (especially the first years) and on the other hand, be a pretty caring and protective sibling who really loves and cares about his poor family and is working his hardest to support them really brings the tears of joy to my eyes. Ruggie's story has got a lot to tell and this interesting design and personality really deserves more attention and supporters!
•Jack Howl: It's true that Jack doesn't really get mischaracterized , but he deserves to be talked about more often! Most of the fandom captured his personality really good and I can feel his tsundere-ish and protective vibes through most of the fanfics that involve him. He's got a rather calm and collected nature which gives him a more balanced personality compared to the rest of the characters, and can make it easier to understand the cannon Jack. He used to get really mischaracterized back in twst's pre-release, but after the game was released and we got to know the cannon Jack, most of those misunderstandings were solved. Perhaps the only thing that I wish to mentioned more often are the adorable details and his background, especially his relationship with his family and siblings.
Characters that can also belong to his group: Silver, Deuce Spade, Ace Trappola, Rook Hunt
Group D: The healing type (Iyashikei)
Look, the cannon interpretation isn't always the happiest or the sweetest. This group usually get mischaracterized because their fanon interpretation is presenting something better, something that more fans would accept and love. 'Softening extremely dark and unapproachable personalities' or 'spreading adorable and wholesome headcanons' are two common ways of the healing type. Characters with extremely bitter personalities usually belong to this group, because their stories can be too sad for the fandom, so many decide to go for a softer yet untrue way of characterizing them, which is sometimes good but going too far with the softening process often leads to creating a character that's nothing like the original.
•Leona Kingscholar: While I was working on my Leona analysis, I came to understand why some fans prefer the fanon Leona over the cannon Leona. Cannon Leona is quite dark and unapproachable, and you'll find his background and personality in general quite painful and sometimes depressing if you try to study the cannon Leona. Within all of the twst characters, he's got the darkest design therefore it can be quite hard for fans to accept his cannon interpretation. That's why some try to give him more of an affectionate and soft nature to make his personality seem less painful to go through. This sometimes create a totally wrong interpretation that goes against everything that the cannon Leona is, but at the same time many fans agree that cannon Leona on the other hand is just too dark to accept. We can tell that this fandom's favorite Leona is a balance of cannon and fanon Leonas, something neither too dark nor to childish and wholesome.
•Ortho Shroud: There isn't much we know about Ortho and his background, and I can't say that he's being directly mischaracterized either. Sometimes all we have to use in order to capture his personality are the fan- theories, which can really complicate stuff. Best way to know him is by paying enough of attention to his voice lines and hidden details, but it can end up being quite dark if you dig too deep- His background with Idia isn't directly mentioned but there are some dark details hiding through the story that can seem quite scary when you actually think about them, therefore many of the fans decide to ignore those details, and since there isn't much of Ortho content (mostly fanfiction) either, many (including me) decided not to mention anything about those dark aspects...
•Epel Felmier: Cannon Epel is quite different from the fanon Epel. Not saying that Epel is a meanie because he surely does have pretty cute and adorable aspects but the cannon can Epel can be quite reckless, mean and rude at the time while the fanon Epel is always described as a shy, cute boy(which is exactly what the cannon Epel hates to be described as). Going through his ghost marriage stories and voice lines, we can realize that Epel's rather bad with romance, and for now, he doesn't really seem to be interested in any love-related issues either. Writing reader inserts especially can be really hard if you're going to stick with the cannon Epel, therefore many choose to use the fanon Epel instead, a cuter and softer Epel who's quite acceptive and approval of being in love. A considerable majority of fans prefer this soft and cuter Epel, and this is why Epel mostly gets mischaracterized in reader inserts.
Characters that can also belong to this group: Malleus Draconia, Azul Ashengrotto, Cater Diamond, Ace Trappola, Lilia Vanrouge
Group E: Mischaracterized on main
Spreading false headcanons, not paying enough of attention to official details and simplifying complicated personalities are often counted as general ways of mischaracterization. Unlike the previous groups, this group doesn't really have a proper excuse for their mischaracterization, especially as we see some fans are being attacked and offended by some who tend mischaracterize characters in this way.
•Vil Schoenheit: We previously talked about Vil and how there's a pile of wrong information about him spread all over the fandom, from the one saying that he's trans and his pronouns are she/her (Many fans were attacked and forced to use She/Her for Vil) to the ones that are picturing him as a selfish character who cares about no one but his very own beauty, and is bullying Epel just because he envies Epel for being more beautiful than him. Look, regarding his relationship with Epel I must say that he's trying is hardest to make Epel be more mindful of his appearance and manners, he cares to help each and every around him look their best and isn't just focusing on his very own beauty. I meant to add him in group B because how many consider him to be obsessed with beauty and ignore everything else about him like his remarkable skills in leadership and other abilities in general, but considering the great amount of wrong information that is being spread around the fandom and is causing misunderstandings and arguments, I thought it'd be better to put him in this group.
•Kalim al asim: One sentence, four words: He is NOT stupid! While I insist that everyone in the fandom is free to have their personal interpretation and ideas regarding the characters and their personalities, keep this is mind that it's okay as long as it doesn't offend anyone else! How does it feel when Kalim stans are just watching others making fun of their favorite and calling him useless and stupid? Even worse, how does it feel when they're being told reckless stuff like: "Hey, you know that your favorite is the dumbest character in the game?" Let me clear 3 points right here: 1)Even if one's favorite is stupid, you do not have the right to insult them because of it even if you mean it as a joke 2)Nope Kalim is not stupid, generosity and caring for everyone around him with genuine kindness makes him a good and pure person, not a stupid one. 3) People who are saying that he's stupid because of not doing that great in school are just as funny as those who told all of us that you won't be any successful if you don't get good grades in exams. Lmao, dude this is the 21st century.
Characters that can also belong to this group: Floyd Leech, Epel Felmier
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Well, I guess that's all? I couldn't talk much about any of them otherwise this would've gotten too long- So I just put a small intro of how each of the boys often gets mischaracterized instead. Okay it's awfully late lol I leave this now-
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shotorozu · 3 years
Text
after quarreling
character(s) : shinsou hitoshi, bakugou katsuki, todoroki shouto
legend : [Y/N = your name] they/them pronouns, quirk not specific
headcanon type : mild angst to fluff
note(s) : i had this idea in my head for the longest time omg, probably since november— but i’m glad i finally got to write this out. in this post, i don’t really go into too many details with what your fight was about, and i deal on how they try to make up with you and stuff.
»»————- ♡ ————-««
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shinsou hitoshi
you guys never really fight, since both of you aren’t petty to drag out a topic to a point there’s some serious discourse
pretty calm throughout the entire thing. no one yells in this argument, more of sarcastic remarks
not the type to immediately want to solve the conflict, because he might make matters worse if he added insult onto the injury
but he won’t tolerate it if you purposely stop hanging out in the places you usually go to because of him (if that makes sense)
like,, lets say he’s already in the hero course, and his room is literally infront of yours. he wouldn’t like it if you waited until noon to leave your room because of him
hitoshi really doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable, even if you guys are feuding
but lets say he’s sorry, or he fucked up in some way— like he wasn’t taking care of himself, or he said something out of hand (which is quite rare)
again, he’ll leave you be for now— but once he’s alone in his room, he’ll start thinking a lot
like “are they going to break up with me? did i hurt their feelings to the point they’re miserable? are they afraid of me?” stuff like that.
it’s really sad seeing him like that
but even so, he’ll still treat you the same. he’ll buy your favorite snack/drink, and hitoshi will ask your friends to give it to them, but they have to promise that they won’t tell you who it’s from
he’ll conveniently place anything you’ll need on your desk like “oh.. where did this hair tie come from? i needed one.”
then, he’ll look at you when he feels your eyes on him— and theres this silent agreement between the both of you; that you don’t want to be like this anymore
he’ll be really happy to have you in his arms once again.
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bakugou katsuki
fights happen but not like to the point you guys are at each other’s throats 24/7 or to the point it’s getting toxic
if you think bakugou will admit he’s wrong in a fight with you, then you are wrong
his pettiness will reach the highest of levels, and his endearing ‘insults’ jabbed towards you will be filled with venom, with wrongful intent
there are times he’ll come to apologize to you, but that’s when he knows he really fucked up, like for example.. he accidentally attacked you during an exercise by accident
then, he’ll definitely apologize to that
but him ‘fessing up his mistakes first is once in a blue moon, and definitely when pigs start flying. it’s harsh, and while you’re used to it— it doesn’t mean it hurts any less
it’s mixed. lots of yelling involved, which isn’t the real issue here— you’re used to bakugou being loud, but he will get louder during those squabbles.
or he will become silent. like really quiet, to the point it looks like his mom is scolding him.
depending on the severity of the fight, he’ll either make up with you on the spot— or he’ll leave, just so he doesn’t end up accidentally setting off his quirk.
moving onto examples. let’s say for instance, he accidentally said something harsh. like.. you’re distracting him from important things
and i’d be swinging at him if he told me that, but you’re really offended and hurt. but you don’t want to make matters worse— so you leave.
and he’ll assume you’ll just come back to him, acting like nothing has happened, but you don’t soo..
he starts thinking, and that’s when he knows he fucked up. he can’t just act like that for the rest of his life, he can’t be the best version of himself if he doesn’t make a resolve.
sorry won’t immediately fly out of his mouth, it’s quite hard for him to say it himself— so he’ll start doing things better
he’ll make something when it’s breakfast/lunch/dinner, and he’ll ‘make too much’ food. but he’ll leave it in the fridge for you to eat
glares at anyone that pokes fun at you too much, but it’s from afar. you guys are still fighting but that doesn’t mean he won’t be protective of you
then finally, when you’re alone— he’ll look at you, practically pulling you towards him, and also so you guys can talk things out
he’ll totally act like nothing bad happened, even though it was so tense hours ago. but he’ll be clinging to your side for the rest of the day.
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todoroki shouto
again, similar to shinsou— you guys never fight. he’s clueless for sure sometimes, but you’re rational enough to clear it up before it gets bad.
but there will be a couple of hard patches, just like any other relationship.
he doesn’t really know what he did wrong at some points, and even if you point it out to him— he’ll still stand by his point
and he has no filter sometimes so sorry, he won’t be afraid to be brutally honest. but don’t get me wrong, he doesn’t do it on purpose. he’s just not conscious about it
but honesty IS honesty
shouto usually freezes up whenever terrible fights happens, because of his childhood (which is an explanation in itself) and because of that, he will avoid the conflict as much as he can
he’ll brush the situation off, and he won’t speak on it, completely ignoring it to the best of his abilities. he’ll also be really down— he’ll get really quiet. literally no one wants to mess with him
with the help of the dekusquad, he’ll realize that he can’t stay like this way forever. and he has to face his mistakes eventually.
from the getgo, shouto is that person that’ll give you space after a fight, and he wouldn’t pester you about making up with him. he’ll give you time
the first thing shouto does is showing that he’s sorry through his actions.
he’ll definitely ask midoriya to ask about you to your friends— because your friends will only talk to midoriya lol and
similar to hitoshi, and also very subtly he’ll put the things you need right infront of you “oh. i needed a pen! good thing this one works.”
during the winter, he’ll grab your jacket and heat it up like normal. then during the summer, he’ll fill your water bottle with cool water.
shouto will send you looks during this entire ordeal, checking to see if you’re ready to talk.
and you honestly can’t stay mad at him, because man literally looks like a kicked puppy. someone save him
he’s not stubborn like bakugou, so he’ll admit he’s wrong after realizing it himself— and he’s not shy on apologizing either
after you guys make up with each other, shouto will literally hug you close to him— completely forgetting about everything even if it’s just for a moment
he’s just really happy that he didn’t lose you.
»»————- ♡ ————-««
likes and reblogs are appreciated, thanks for reading!
i do not own bnha/mha and it’s characters. boku no hero academia/my hero academia belongs to horikoshi kohei. i only own the writing, and i do not profit off of my hobby
do not plagiarize, reupload, translate, or use my work for audio readings without my permission :))
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syndxlla · 3 years
Text
Part Fourteen of the More to Love Series
Summary: The wedding is in a week, and you’re suddenly very aware of how little time you have left to figure out what to do. You decide to take matters into your own hands, and formulate a plan. Din invites you to a night of experience, and you admit a simple truth to him.
Word Count: 11.8k words, NO USE OF ‘y/n’
Warnings: SMUT (PiV, a little degradation, praise, creampie, cockwarming, dirty talk), use of alcohol, drunkness, mentions of scars, sexual harassment
Author’s note: HELLOOOO! this is a fun chapter, and i just wanna let y’all know that we are in the endgame now 😭. don’t worry, i still have so many plans for both the princess and din and just the whole world that MTL is set in. thank you for all the support on this story! it never ends and i will forever be thankful for your love!
Part thirteen
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You were a fool for thinking the castle would start to settle down after the ball passed. Alternatively, the planning did not lessen, but instead shifted from masquerade prep to wedding prep. The decorations were taken out, and new samples were brought in. It was made very clear to you that this was really Korkie’s wedding and not your own, because every decision and plan that was made was done without your input.
It had been a few days since Din told you everything, and he truly told you everything. You had plenty of time to reflect on it, and process everything. You worked so hard to gain perspective on it, to try and give your future family the benefit of the doubt, and to understand the full situation. However, you ultimately sided with Din, your heart aching for the situation he was placed in. It had been apparent that he would not have told you any of that if he did not hold immense trust in his heart for you, and the word Ka’rta over grew into your thoughts for all these days. The both of you had agreed to tone things down, deciding it would be a fair middle ground. Less nightly endeavors would keep you two apart, and therefore less suspicious, but it especially made the reunions of passion more sweet.
Your mother was long gone, she left three days ago, and finally you felt that you had the palace to yourself again without Hugo and various other guests breathing down your neck. Your time as Corellian Princess was in it’s endgame now as your imminent marriage to Korkie was just on the horizon, and you still had no idea how to escape from it. Most of your days, you spent making up excuses for missing afternoon tea, and trying extra bites of potential wedding cake flavors in the kitchen. Regardless of what you did, however, Din was always there with you, three paces behind. You were also given the opportunity to dismiss him more often now. The eager infatuation with him has slowly become a steady understanding of feelings, and the two of you were able to fall into a groove without the anxiety of wondering how the other felt, and how long it would be until you reunited. Tradition and duty had lightened up as well, and there were less eyes on how Din was treating you, which gave you the liberty to give him back an ounce of his life.
This was one of the best things to ever happen to Din. You would retire to your room early every night, hoping no one would wonder if you were ill, and because you were away from the eye of Kryze, you could allow Din to leave the castle early. At seven, sometimes even six, he would go home to his son. It made everyone happy, and that is why it was important to happen. This was much preferred over a midnight dismissal. You also noticed a change in Din’s presence after this change was made. He was springier, chuckling more, even sitting down when the two of you were alone. He had finally relaxed around you, and you accredit to the pure fact that he was finally getting more rest.
Those were your favorite parts of the day: when you and Din would find a quiet corner in the library, or maybe an empty sitting room, and he would just tell you about the world. He had been everywhere, you were convinced. He went into detail of cities in Coruscant, explaining how they have extravagant silk markets and countless taverns with exotic drinks. He described the heat of the desert, and how he once had to search for a merchant’s missing camel in return for clean water, a story that led to one of the scars on his back and a very rational fear of the desert at night. His favorite place to tell you about, however, was his home. The Nevarro Frontier clearly had a special place in his heart, and he spoke fondly of it’s tall mountains and tight-knit communities.
“Nothing like the Mandalore you know.” He would sigh. A kingdom that may have been fantastic on the outside, but was riddled with war and political division and heartache on the inside. “Maybe I can take you there someday.”
It was those words that sparked your imagination, and the plan began to formulate.
The real dilemma you had been in all this time was trying to figure out how to live happily with a man you truly loved, but also protect your kingdom, home and family. It was a delicate situation, one with many sighs and frustrated nights. However, after Din explained his battle with Bo to you, it’s resolution was slowly becoming more clear. There had to be a way you could win in this story. You would not give hope on that truth.
When Din mentioned taking you to his home, you realized that there was very little keeping you from up and leaving Mandalore in the night. It would be a scandal, it would probably cause an all-out war, but it was worth a try, or at least a dream.
Now, when you had afternoon conversations with Din in the library, you were studying maps of the world. You familiarize yourself with the terrain of Mandalore, how long it might take to get to the Sundari Front, and drawing out escape routes on the backs. Din assumed you had thrown yourself into cartography so you could grasp his stories and adventures fully, which wasn’t altogether false, but it went deeper than that. You tried to keep it under control, but you were slowly becoming more and more consumed by your studies: a recurring issue in your life.
Din hadn’t realized you were becoming obsessed with the geography of the world until about a week after the ball, when you fell asleep by candlelight at a table in the library, your face smushed into the parchment of a map depicting some old blueprints that he had paid no attention to, and your hair falling over your eyes. It was almost dawn, and he had come back from his time with his son already, distressed to see no one had the courtesy to wake you up and take you to your room. He didn’t really expect much else from Mandalore, however.
Din blows out the candle, and gently picks you up, being extra careful not to wake you, and carries you bridal-style out of the library and to your suite. It was these moments that Din looked forward to the most. When he did not have to put on a face, when he did not have a million rules to follow. When your sleepy head rests into his chest, and he can look upon your face with his own eyes, no helmet to obstruct it.
As Din looked upon your resting face, there was much he realized. He first noticed that scar on your body that he hadn’t seen before, and swiped his thumb over it. He also studied the way your chest rose and fell with each breath, how you were perfectly still, and yet completely full of life and beauty and pure goodness as you slept. Din deeply admired how much you cared, how much you cared about everything. The wellbeing of the staff, the customs of Mandalore, him. You threw yourself into your passions, and you had a deep love for the hobbies and aspects of your life that no one else he knew possessed. You were a dedicated person, and he found both attraction and respect ino that.
Din also realized a fundamental truth at the very moment the sky began to lighten up, your cracked balcony doors letting the curtains blow into the suite dreamily. Din felt at peace. It had been so long since he felt peaceful. Too long. He felt the same type of peace here with you that he would normally feel sleeping under the stars with his son nestled to his side. Or the same feeling of peace that he felt when he held his son for the first time. It was a rare feeling, and it was pure. It was so rare that it was only saved for the people most important to him in his life.
You woke up a few hours later, changed out of the pale yellow gown you fell asleep in. Din had not only put you in your nightgown, but had taken the time to pull your hair so it was out of your face. He was more thoughtful than you could have ever imagined. The Knight sits with his back against your door, helmet tilted up at the ceiling, and you wonder if he slept, and why he was not in bed with you. You had invited him several times, and wished he would fulfill the request.
As soon as you sit up in bed, his head lifts, and he stands at attention.
You yawn before speaking, “Were you resting?” You ask, stretching your arms over your head. He shakes his head in response. “What were you doing?” You ask, your arms coming down to rest on your mattress.
“Listening?”
“For?”
He shrugs, “The birds at first, but then it was footsteps. I didn’t want to get caught waiting for you to wake up.” He sighs.
“Well… I wish you would have listened in bed with me.” You glance over at the empty spot next to you. He doesn’t respond, and you are reminded that in many ways, he is still the silent knight you first met from three weeks ago. Din walks over to you, and you smile as he does.
“Did I wake you last night?” He asks, and you were honestly confused about what he was asking. He sensed the confusion, he was always so good at reading you, “When I carried you from the library here?”
“What?” And then you remembered, your eyes blowing wide. “Shit!” You jump out of bed. “What time is it?”
“Uh…”
“Is the rest of the staff awake?” You let your hair down, and slide on the pink satin slippers on the floor of your bed.
“What?”
“Did you bring the map I was studying?” You look up at his emotionless helmet.
“…No?” To be truthful, he didn’t even take the time to glance at the map you studied, he was far too distracted by you.
“Fuck.” You muttered. Din liked it when you swore.
You thought of nothing, and hurried to the door of your suite, swinging it open and marching down the corridor. Din follows you in confusion, trying to catch up to you and bring you back to your room. You’re weary, and just woke up, so you pay no attention to Soniee who passes you in the hallway with your tea, looking at you in confusion, or the maids who were trying to sweep the floor that you scurried over. Din tried to halt you, but was never one to speak unless spoken to, especially not in public and in the presence of others, and felt unable to stop you and ask what was going on. Everyone turned heads to see the future consort in a panic, and were left with questions. Most of them shrugged and ignored it, a few began the rumors.
You practically ran down the stairs, feeling a little out of breath when you finally made it to the doors of the library. The fact that they were closed was still a good sign, and you swing the heavy door open, entering the library with haste. Your heart drops when you see the last person you wanted to this morning: Prince Korkie.
He turns to see the commotion, his eyes are shocked to not only see you out and about this early in the day, but also in your nightgown. He sputters on a ‘Good Morning’, and you don’t even hear it because you’re too panicked to see that he has the map you were reading last night in his hands. You swear in your mind, and your heart falls out of your feet. Din comes hurrying behind you.
“Princess? What is the meaning of this?” He asks, an eyebrow raised, trying to sound chipper as he greeted his fiance. You swallow thickly. Din bows for the prince, and then bends down to whisper in your ear so Korkie can’t hear it.
“Highness, please come back to your room.”
“What? Why?” You say a little too loudly, and before he can reply, the door is opening again with General Vizsla and a group of knights entering.
“Y-your gown.” Din whispers, and you look down to see that it is very sheer, far too sheer to be in the presence of your fiance… and half of the Mandalorian government. You want to shrink from the embarrassment, and notice that Korkie’s eyes are fixed on your chest. What a creep. You fold your arms over your breasts.
“What map do you have there, Prince Korkie?” You ask, trying not to make it seem too obvious that you were clearly in distress, but shaken up by your exposure and the perverted ness of the prince before you. Din wondered what in the world could be so important about that specific map. He stands behind you to cover your back side.
“What is this commotion?” Vizsla asks, interrupting your conversation.
“Nothing, General.” Korkie clears his throat. He turns to you, “Vizsla and I were just about to discuss the plans we have for… the southern border of Corellia.” Korkie awkwardly smiles. You raise an eyebrow.
“Plans?” You ask.
“Yes, you will hear in time.” Vizsla’s obnoxiously nasally voice busts in again. He was always one to unwelcomely invite himself.
You try not to roll your eyes, “And the map, Your Highness?” You repeat yourself, trying not to sound too demanding. You were still a princess, after all.
Korkie nervously chuckles, eyeing the multiple men in the room and shocked by your ambition. He takes a step forward, rolling the map up in his hands as he advances in you and Din’s direction. Din placed a discreet hand on the small of your back, hoping to reassure you. His touch was barely noticeable, but it was enough.
“Princess,” He says, sort of hushed. “You can call me Korkie in front of other people.” It was clear that he had an expectation to fill, and it would be bad on him if his fiance was still addressing him with a title a week before the wedding.
You scoff, “No, I don’t think I will.”
You hold your hand out for the map in defiance, but the prince doesn't hand it to you. He has a dark look in his eyes, one you have never seen before. Din tries to pull back on your bicep, trying to alleviate the situation, but you stay steadfast. “I will take that map now, Your highness.” You bite through the title, wanting it to cut. Korkie lifts his chin with an authoritative look, putting the rolled up map behind his back.
“Get this woman out of my meeting!” He calls out, and turns away. Your face drops, thinking you had the upper-hand, but realize that is taken away from you as two muscular guards pick you up, pulling you away from Din, and walking you out of the library. Korkie always does this, he’s madly in love with you until he’s not. It makes you remember that all of this is probably a ruse for power. Your heart and spirit drop, and you feel nothing but pure disrespect and rage. Din quickly follows. You try to writhe out of the guard’s grasp, not wanting to give up without a fight, but failing miserably. They were both very strong, probably because they had to compensate for how scrawny the Prince is.
“I can take it from here, gentlemen.” Din says, loudly, louder than you usually hear him speak. “I said I can take her!” Din yells when they don’t respond. Then, you hear the indefinite sound of a punch. These guards were still fully armored, but there was no withstanding the strength and brute force of your Knight when you were endangered. The guard Din had punched lets you go as a reaction, and you use it as an opportunity to take your now free hand and twist the wrist of the other guard off of you. All of the self-defense Din had previously taught you paid off in that moment as he yelled out in pain, not expecting your strength or skill. You were taught by the best, after all.
Now that you were free from the clutches of Korkie’s personal guards, you felt Din grab your hand and pull you. The two of you ran through the corridors, down another flight of stairs, and passed the throne room, making sure not to look back in the direction of the library. You ran parallel to the ballroom, and then finally down a final flight of stairs to the foyer of the castle. Din tugs you into a narrow hall, and down a spiral staircase. It was the way to the staff quarters, you remember from the day you went to the ocean. You were shocked and confused about what happened, and truthfully kind of exhausted. You were relieved when Din finally slowed down, and pulled you into Koska’s sister’s room. It was empty, thank the Stars.
“Close your eyes.”
“What?”
“Close them!” Din says and it startles you, but you do it. He pulls his helmet off with haste, tossing it to the floor with a clang. Din places both of his strong hands on either side of your face, pulling you towards him and then kisses you with so much force and hunger that you stumble back in surprise, your eyes cracking open for just a split second. You didn’t see much, because his face was so squished into yours. All you caught a glimpse of was his eyelashes for a millisecond, but that was enough. Din is pushing you against the wall, pinning you to it, and kissing you so hard that you have to pull away to get some air. “I don’t think I have ever been as attracted to you as I was when you stood up to that prick.” He chuckles, and you hum back. Din takes a deep breath before speaking up again, “What was on that map?” He asks, out of breath, too.
You sigh, sort of embarrassed, eyes still shut tightly, “It was the tunnel plans of the castle.”
“What, you mean the blueprints?”
“Yes.” Your eyes stay closed.
“The blueprints that are at least three-hundred years old?”
“Mhm.”
“How did you get your royal hands on those?” Din asks, baffled.
“It doesn’t matter! What does matter is that I made notes on the back of the map!” You blurt, feeling shame, “I wrote the estimated times it would take and which halls to take from my room!” You groan, so badly wanting to open your eyes. You remembered what you said to yourself all those weeks ago, however, reminding yourself that it should be his choice to show you his face and no one else’s. You sigh, “The Prince isn’t stupid! I’m sure he thinks I’m plotting something now!” You hope you don’t sound too panicked, but if you were being honest, you were. Din sighs, clearly frustrated, although you weren’t sure if he was sexually or emotionally… or a little bit of both. “I’m sorry.” You sigh, your hands coming up and searching for his shoulders. “I should not have been so careless.”
“No, you shouldn’t have.” You weren’t expecting him to agree with you, he usually doesn’t. He takes a calming breath, “…Are you plotting something?” He asks, his eyes moving between your closed eyelids in search of a non-verbal answer that he’ll never receive.
You don’t want to answer, but know you don’t have a choice. “Yes.” You feel guilty after saying it, although you aren’t sure why. Din exhales deeply this time. “But listen! We could run! I don’t have to stay here! We can fix this! We can get into Coruscant and they’ll never come looking for us, and then we can go to Nevarro, go to your home! We’ll take your son-“
“Rue.”
“What?”
“My son, his name is Rue.”
Rue. It was simple, to the point, just like Din’s. You liked it. “We’ll take Rue! Please, Din, we need to! It will be the only way we will ever be happy!” Your thumbs rub into the thick skin of his neck. You didn’t mean to vomit so much information on him at once, but he didn’t really give you an option.
He exhales deeply, and you know he’s processing everything you just told him. “We can’t”
“Why not?”
“Because!” He yells and it scares you. You drop your hands, your heart rate rising. A lump grows in your throat and you silently curse your emotions for betraying you. You swallow back a tear. He walks away from you and you hear the helmet pick up from off the floor. He puts it back on his head, and you know from practice and instinct when to open your eyes. When you do, he’s sitting on the chest at the end of the bed, his head dropped and hands pressed to the edge of the wood by his sides. You frown, and walk over to him. Din pushes his head into your abdomen, and you hold him there, just existing in not-so-comfortable silence. It’s tense, and not the type of tension that you usually like to experience with I’m.
He’s surprisingly the one to speak up, however. “We can’t… because Bo will hunt me and kill me and Rue and you… she’ll kill everything I love.” His voice cracks at the same time your heart does. Did he actually…
“Not to mention the war between our kingdoms it will start. Corellia can’t support itself in a war. We both know that.” Din sighs, maybe he was telling himself this just as much as he was telling you.
You sigh. He was right and you knew it, but it didn’t keep you from wanting to run away with him any less. “Din…” He looks up at you. “We have to get that map from Korkie.” You say, more stern but still comforting this time. His head tilts in question. You sigh, feeling guilty. “I wrote something else on it.” You look away from him, your eyes trailing. His hand reaches up to grab your chin, pulling your head to look right at him. Your eyebrows furrow. “Directions to your home.” The atmosphere in the room changes. You can feel it. “I know I shouldn’t have, I know it puts Rue in danger, but it gives us all the more reason to get that map back from Korkie as soon as possible.” His hand drops from your chin. You felt terrible.
“Okay, okay. We can check the library again and… if it’s not there we’ll go confront him. We’ll get it tonight.” He nods.
“Are you sure? What if he reads it?” You were surprised how lax he was, but something told you that he was controlling himself from his true emotions.
“As far as I’m concerned, the Prince has no reason to cause me or my family any harm.” He nods.
“Not yet.”
You swallow, your face inches away from the door of the Prince’s bedroom. Din was around the corner of the corridor, both of you knew this was something you would have to do on your own, without his support. You had never been here before, and after ample search in the library for the map all afternoon, there was no other option. It was late, but not inappropriately late. You wore that same dress you wore weeks ago, the soft blue one that was off the shoulder one that adorned your figure elegantly. It was one of the most sophisticated gowns in your closet. More mature than most of the flowy princess ballgowns. It was a diplomatic but still ethereal fashion choice, which you desperately needed after a humiliating encounter this morning. The scar on your shoulder from the endeavor in Keldabe had mostly healed, and only had a pale pink to it. You looked back at Din, who was peering around the corner, for some reassurance. He nodded, and you took a deep breath. Two knocks would be enough. The door swings open, and you are suddenly very aware that you would have to brave this encounter without the support of your trusted Knight. Korkie is who answers the door, and he looks mildly unamused to see you.
“Princess?” He tilts his head.
“Evening, I hope it is not too late?” You suggest, keeping your voice as monotone and unwelcoming as possible. You wanted him to know that you were here for a serious matter.. You noticed he was covering the door with his body, perhaps he was hiding something from you too.
“For my fiance? Never.” You hated being called that, but if it was what it took for him to invite you into the room,you could deal with it. Korkie’s room was large, it was far more spacious than yours. It had a billowing fireplace and sitting area, the ceilings twice the height of your suite’s, and a private library pushed into the northeast corner. You familiarize yourself with your surroundings, and the heir closes the door behind you. You silently scanned the room for the map, you would have to snatch it up without it being suspicious, and you could not explicitly ask for it again. “What do I owe this honor?” He says from behind, charming as usual, although his words did seem a bit slurred. You see that an opened book sat on the seat of a chair in the sitting area. He must have been reading before you interrupted him. You turn around, and lift your chin, trying to look and sound as put together and unsuspecting as possible.
You clear your throat, “I wanted to apologize for this morning.” You nod. It wasn’t true, but you had rehearsed with Din several times the best way to stall time as you looked for the map, and this was the best way of going about. “It was inappropriate behavior, especially in front of the General.” You disagreed with your own words, and felt bad lying, but it came so naturally when done to the Prince.
Korkie sighs, and crosses over the room, looking up at a portrait above the fireplace. Your eyes still searched for your map, but had no clue where it might be. This was your first time here, after all. “Worry not, Highness.” Korkie downs a bit of brandy that was sitting for him. You didn’t like him when he was drunk.
“You’re sure?” You figured that would have made conversation more natural, but he clearly was not in the mood for propriety. He pours another drink, and even pours one for you, offering it. You shake your head and mutter a ‘no thank you’, not really wanting to get drunk tonight. Din wouldn’t touch you if you were drunk. You admired that he respected you that much, but it also deprived you of the one thing worth all the pomp and circumstance. Korkie shrugs and drinks both, and you’re frankly appalled by this conduct.
“Indeed.” He hiccups. “Everyone loves a little show.” He chuckles, and you frown. Was that all your humiliation was to him? A show? “Now, Princess,” He takes a step towards you, and you feel so unprotected. Din would have stepped in by now, you knew that. You didn’t have the same sense of security you usually had when he wasn’t at your side. “Why did you really come here?” He asks, running his hand through his hair.
“Excuse me?” You nervously laugh. How did he figure any of this out? You take steps back that mirror his, trying to keep the same amount of distance between him and you but struggling to when you hit the post of his bed, your back flush against it. Your hands wrap around the wood working, and you look up at him nervously. You felt the same as you didn’t when you were cornered and harassed in the slum of Keldabe. “I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You clear your throat, trying to solve something, anything. Where could that cursed map be?
“Don’t-“ He says through gritted teeth, he catches himself from lashing out, and collects his composure before speaking again. “Don’t assume I am blind.”
“I would never-“
“Liar!” He spits out and you flinch back. He laughs a few times, it’s that evil, frustrated laugh. It was the type of laugh that people do when they’re trying to calm themselves down, but in turn they simply seem more angry. You were genuinely scared, unsure of what to do in this situation. “What were the directions you wrote on the back of the map?” He asks, and you furrow your brows.
“I don’t know what you mean?” This was partially true. How did he not understand the very neat and clear directions on the back of the blueprints to the secret passages? And in all curiosity, why did he care?
Korkie grunts again. “You are foolish.” He was dangerously close to you, and you wanted to get out of that room as soon as possible. You wanted Din to come protect you, you needed him to. “Are you forgetting who you belong to?” His hand sets on your hip, and you flinch again.
“I belong to no one.” You defy.
“You belong to me.” He grits his jaw again. You closed your eyes out of instinct due to the sheer anger and tension in his tone. His breath smelled of alcohol, and you wished you had the authority to slap him. He laughs his chuckle of malice again, and then before you can blink, he leans in for a kiss. How could he? How could he take advantage of your vulnerable state like this? Your blood boiled, and just in time, you dodge his lips. You swoop under his arm, away from the bedpost and back to the security of a full room you can avoid him in. He looks at you, clearly appalled. You were dizzy, probably from adrenaline. You wished this was surprising, but it was the exact thing you expected The Prince to do. This is when you noticed the map was rolled up and on the floor beside the fireplace. The new perspective of the room is what made you see it. Had he intended to burn it?
“You know,” You say as you take a step towards the map, “You should have another drink.” You offer. “You’re clearly tense,” You stepped between each phrase, “And it would be better for everyone.” Somewhere deep down you wanted to believe that Korkie was only acting this way because he was drunk. But you knew it wasn’t true. You realized that everything inside of you was looking for a redeemable quality in him, a reason to stay perhaps. You wanted to believe he was worth staying for, but you knew that he wasn’t, not when everything you’ve ever wanted was just outside the door.
Before Korkie can take another step towards you, you’re bolting towards the map, snatching it up in your hands and then running towards the door. The adrenaline shoots through your veins, and it only grows when you hear him growl again and his heavy footsteps run after you. You have to physically hold yourself back from squealing in stress, your hand slapping over your mouth. You rip the door open, and try slamming it behind you, but Korkie’s arm is caught in the door, and you smash it. He cries out, and the commotion makes Din run down the hall towards you to check what was going on. Korkie was able to get a hand on the collar of your dress, and he tries to pull you back in, but your strength is enough to get away. You ran to Din, who looked concerned, you could tell by his stance alone. He was tense and his hands balled in fists at his side.
Korkie pulls open the door, holding his arm to his chest, and you look back, your heart racing. You are so relieved when you make it to Din, and you grab his hand, threading your fingers into his and pulling him down the hall in the same fashion he did early that day. Several guards who heard the heir’s yell were running in all directions, but none of them paid any attention to you, thank the stars.
You think you are crying, but you aren’t sure. You felt raw fear being alone with the Prince. You never wanted to be alone with him again, never.
You keep running nonsense in the castle, not really sure where you’re going but wanting to be anywhere other than there. Din is the one to stop you after the mindless escape, pulling you into a branching hallway and against an unsightly window. He grabs both of your arms, and pulls you flush against his chest. He holds you there for a long time, and you both get a chance to catch your breath. You cry into the beskar chestplate, and feel rather foolish for reacting as such. Din was silent, and just held you, his strong arms wrapped around you as tightly as they could be.
“What did he do to you?” He asks, and you sigh out pathetically. Din repeats his question, still calm and gentle, but more urgent.
“I-I was so scared.” You stutter. Din somehow squeezes you tighter after you say this. After you collect yourself a little more, you can speak again, “he was drink-“
“Did he… touch you?”
You weren’t sure why you felt like you were in trouble, but aggressively reminded yourself that Din would never be upset with you, at least not for something like this. “Yes… But not very much, he just touched my hip and leaned in to kiss me.”
“Did he?”
“No!” You say almost defensively, “I got away just in time.” You pull away and look up at him with teary eyes. His hand comes up, and he pulls the glove off. His bar hand caresses your flushed face, swiping a tear off your cheek with his thumb. “I’m sorry-“
“Why?”
“I don’t know!” You breathe out shakily. “For crying I guess? For letting the map get away? For letting him touch me-“ You try to look away but his fingers catch your chin again, pulling your gaze back onto his helmet.
“Stop that. It’s not your fault. He is disgusting for doing that.” Din nods, and you swallow a sob. “Do you understand?” He asks, and you slowly nod once. “And promise me, that you’ll never ever blame yourself for anything like that ever again, okay?” You nod again. “Promise me!” He wasn’t angry or forceful, just steadfast with his words. He meant what he was saying.
“I promise.” You mutter. After you reply you hear his exhale in his armor. He pulls you against his chest again, and you can feel it move with each breath. You wished you could hear his heartbeat again like you could when you wake up next to him. You’re able to finally relax, and his embrace was the most calming thing you had ever experienced.
“I was worried sick about you.” He says, far more soft spoken than his remarks before. You didn’t verbally reply, but he was able to read how you felt. “I don’t like you being alone with him.”
“Me neither.” You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut and letting the final few tears fall out of your lashes. “All the more reason to leave.” He tenses after you say it, and his arms loosen a bit around your shoulders.
“You really want to?” He asks, you nod against his chest. “You know the possible consequences? This could mean the destruction of Corellia.”
“I know. That’s why it’s so hard. I don’t know what to do. I know what I want, and that is to leave here with you, but I don’t want my own selfishness to risk the lives of thousands who I vowed to protect.” You pull your head away from his chest.
“You… really want to live a life with me?” He asks, almost oblivious to your prior remark. You nod nod, or even say yes, but you just look up at him in all seriousness, hoping it would be enough.
It was.
“You don’t even know what I look like.” His arms drop. Did he think you a fool for that?
“We…” You debate your words, “We can change that.” You close your eyes, hoping that it would mean something to him, and maybe it did, but just as always, he didn’t show it. He just takes his cursed, gloveless hand and tilts your chin up to see him.
“In time we will, but only when it is right.” He nods.
It wasn’t the answer you wanted, but it was enough. It was more than anything he had ever given you before.
“Come on,” Din says gently, “There’s something I want to show you.” He beckons with his head down the hall, and you follow, interlocking your fingers with his again, the map in your other hand. You weren’t really sure how he was able to be so calm and reassuring, especially without showing an ounce of emotion through all of it, but it was a Godsend. You weren’t sure if Din loved you, at least not in the same way you loved him, but you were sure that he cared about you, and he wanted you to be safe and happy. And that was all you needed, for now.
“Had he read the map?” Din asks as you walk down a flight of stairs, descending the various levels of the palace and undoubtedly heading for the staff quarters again.
“I believe so.” You sigh, “Although he seemed confused about it. I think he was a little too drunk to fully comprehend, or he was giving me the benefit of the doubt.” You shrug.
“Well, at least we have it now, right?” Din asks, his head slightly turning back to look at you as he says it, and you give a nervous but relieved smile in response. The two of you loop through halls, and you’re very aware of how much the castle is winding down. Staff have retired for the night, doors were closed, even the usual laughter coming from parlors or the ballroom was silenced. Was it really that late? You didn’t really have much of a perception of time anymore after everything that had just happened.
The one part of the castle that was full of life, however, was the staff quarters. As you got closer, you could hear the usual laughter, and warm, welcoming light poured from the low corridor. Music played, it was loud, and your eyes searched for the spectacle that was just awaiting you.
“You said you wanted to get to know the staff better…”
“I did?” You ask.
“A few nights ago, you were really tired, you might not remember.” He shrugged. You didn’t really care whether or not you really said those things, what stuck out to you, however was that Din remembered that. He was observant enough to remember specific phrases you said, and not any phrases, the ones that were sleepy and probably full of nonsense. You would lie if you said you didn’t gush over that a little.
Din takes you into the staff common room, and it’s all clear. The warm smells, the enticing light, the infectious laughter, it all came from the whole castle staff crammed into this one room. There was food, and everyone laughed and danced to the music that a handful of staff members played. Their instruments were humble, probably retired from the royal orchestra years ago, but you could tell there were fond memories and stories linked with every single one. It was hot, and there were a lot of people crammed into the room. The doors were wide open, and the tables were pushed back against the walls so that the floor could be opened to a large and intricate group dance. It was nothing like the pompous dances that the nobility did at the ball, however. This dance was filled with joy, and mistakes were not only welcomed, but celebrated. Expression was the center of the party, and all types of people were involved. Children who were up far past their bedtime joined in the festivities, dancing and laughing and chasing one another, elderly staff sat at the tables, clapping along to the folk music, and the servants who usually give you sour tea and hot bread had their shoes off, jumping on the stone floor of the common area. Some of the knights and guards had their helmets on like Din usually did, and others did not. You realized it really probably boiled down to personal preference, or duty.
You smiled at the spectacle, and it gave you a deep and undeniable sense of community and love. You quickly learned that the livelihood of the castle did not rest in the parties and rules that an uptight Queen set in place, but the very people who made the castle work smoothly.
The laughter and joy was contagious, and you couldn’t stop yourself from joining the fun. You jump into the dance, not sure of the steps, but picking up your ridiculous skirt and starting anyways. You hoped it wasn’t obvious that you had been crying a half hour before, but no one paid any attention if it was. The women in the circle linked their arms with yours, and you spun in a circle. The one to your right couldn’t have been older than fifteen, and she yelled over the noise how to do the footsteps. You couldn’t really hear her, but looked down at her feet and tried to mimic it. You had the cheesiest smile on your face, and the room spun as you danced. Din crosses over to a wall, leaning against it and crossing his arms, watching you.
After that dance finished, another song started, and the moves were rather different. However, a girl pulled you out of the circle, and tugged on your dress. “It’s too big!” She shouts over the music, “You’ll never make it through the next song!” You nod and then walk over to a table. You stand on top of the table after a few jumbled ‘excuse me’s’. You were sure everyone recognized you, but they didn’t treat you differently for one moment. It was… refreshing. You kicked your shoes off, and several people turned to look at you, some cheered, others laughed. You then bite your bottom lip and pull the strings of the corset you wore, loosening it enough to slip out of your crinoline and ruffled-slip, leaving you in nothing but your undergarment petticoat and the top layer of the gown you were wearing. There was laughter, and you didn’t hear or see Din chuckle. You swayed your hips, and after a playful “huzzah!” from the crowd, a few knights helped you off the table. You immediately return to the dance circle, and you’re able to move much easier. You’re thrown back into the stimulating dance. The woman was right, this was much more physical, jumping and kicking was done and it was far more exciting than any of the proper waltzes you had spent your life dedicating time to.
You step out after two more songs, trying to catch your breath and wiping the sweat off your brow. There was alcohol, just hooch, but a bearded man gave you a big mug and you happily chugged it down. Din was impressed with your ability to consume so much so quickly. The men all cheered and hollered as you downed the drink, also impressed with the skill. You didn’t know you could do it, either.
A game of cards is being played, and you’re roped into that, too. You bet some money (money you didn’t have) and helped a tired, old man who usually worked in the stables play, after a few tough rounds, and struggling to learn the rules as you played, you won the pot for the old man. Three other much younger boys who usually worked at the front gate looked in shock as you pulled the money towards you and the man. He laughed and thanked you for your help.
Some little girls examined your crinoline and corset, a few older women all pinched your cheeks, and a fat man gave you a huge helping of mashed potatoes and greens. You got to overeat shamelessly, and it felt so rewarding after weeks of eating like a bird in fear of being judged by your in-laws. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world to be treated normally. You caught a glimpse of Soniee, who braided a boy’s hair. You even noticed that Koska was there, the center of one of the dance circles, swaying her skirt to the beat with another girl, the two dancing together in a vibrant duet of culture and community. Your feet only began to hurt when you were pulled to dance again, and your cheeks ached from smiling so wide. It was the most alive and accepted you had ever felt in Mandalore.
At one point, you found yourself just a few feet away from Din in the dance. You hold your hands out for him, beckoning him to join. “Dance with me!” You shout out. Before you get an answer, however, you're pulled back into the center of the group. It isn’t for a few more cycles and bars of the song that you’re back out by him. “Please?” You try to be as enticing as possible. He shakes his head, his hand coming up to decline. You raise an eyebrow.
“I don’t dance!” He yells back. You roll your eyes and step out of the group momentarily. You grab both of his hands, your face with the cheesiest smile ever, and pull him onto the floor. He tries to fight back, but ultimately loses.
“Yes you do!” You reply, yelling as loud as possible so he might be able to hear you. “You proved it to me last week!” You say and in perfect time, your arms go up together with the beat of the song. He hadn’t done this dance before, but has watched it enough times to know what’s going on, although he looked rather awkward and foolish doing so. You grab his hand, your hips turning left to right in time, and you look down at your bodies, trying to show him as best as you can.
“I have no idea what’s going on!” Din yells at one point, the two of you now in the heart of the party.
“Me neither!” You laugh, “That’s what’s so wonderful about it!” Then came the part of the dance to clap your hands, the two of you clapping up by your face, and mirroring one another. “Now you’re getting the hang of it!” You nod. He rolls his eyes, and is thankful you can’t see it. It would be horrible for his reputation if anyone knew that he was having even a little fun, especially because it was with you. Din doesn’t usually come to these parties. They happen most Saturday nights, but he runs home to his son. Tonight, however, it was important to him that you got to experience it, especially after everything that happened earlier today.
You both start getting the hang of it, and Din mentally thanks his helmet for hiding the smile on his face. Your feet grapevine, and then you both jump. Everyone hoots and hollers, it’s part of the dance. Suddenly, the both of you are in the middle of the dance circle in the same way that Koska was with her partner a few songs ago, and you’re leading the spiral. You can’t wipe the darkish smile off your face and genuinely can’t believe you got him out here.
“Atta boy, Djarin!” Koska yells from a table, standing up and toasting a Ming of hooch. The music picked up in preparation for the big finish. Din and you spun around one another, your bodies coming flush until your palms press flat, your faces only inches apart. You always thought playing off of one another in a dance was important for the emotion during a waltz, but a fancy three-step had nothing on the emotion and passion put into a dance such as this. Somehow, you could still play off of him, and the performance was one of shared respect and assurance. Despite never having seen his face, you got the Knight, you understood him in a way no one ever did. The song ends, the two of you real close to one another, and out of breath. The entire room roared in joy as they cheered for the both of you, and you looked up at the visor of his helmet.
“I want to kiss you!” He yells, and although his request is very clear, no one can hear it over the volume of the room.
“Then kiss me!” You reply. You didn’t give a damn if every servant of the Mandalorian royal family saw it. He laughs, you feel it, and then he’s pulling his helmet up.
He just reveals his lips, but you look upon them with no shame, admiring the way his Cupid’s bow dipped, and the scruff on his jawline. You smiled wide, and he smiled back. You feel honored to share this moment with him. Everyone around you was so loud, and they were cheering for both you and Din. You couldn’t believe how many of them knew his name as they called it out in encouragement.
Din’s free hand wraps around your waist, and pulls it in tight to him forcefully, you blush at the gesture, and the crowd “ooh’s” flirtily at it. Din Djarin then kisses you. He pulls your body into his soft lips and you sigh into it and it;s too quiet for him to hear but as soon as your lips meet, the crowd of staff disappears. Their cheers blur together, and fade out. Your lips move together passionately, and you do so with no shame. He groans against you, and you can feel it more than you can hear it, and it’s all you ever wanted.
For weeks now you just wanted to share your love with him publicly, and now that you have, you’re aware of how personal your love with him really is.
The crowd fades back in, everyone laughing in support and amusement. Your lips softly party and you grin from ear to ear. Din does too, shameless for once. His teeth are nice and straight. Oh God, you loved his smile.
Oh Stars, you loved him.
“Din!” You yell out. “I love you!” It was time to say it, because it was true. You meant it and as you say it, giggle.
“What?”
“I love you!” It’s so loud that you’re even sure if he can’t hear it, you can barely hear it yourself. But, in classic Din Djarin fashion, he doesn’t answer. He was never good with words, and was much better at showing you what was on his mind. He kisses you again, just as passionately, but this time it’s a series of short, quick pecks on your lips that get progressively more sloppy. He smiles into each kiss and you feel those magic butterflies again.
The rest of the night is a dreamy blur, Din dances the whole time with you, the music eventually slows, you notice that there are less and less kids in the common room. It winds down, and your feet ache in the best way. An ache that would be associated with happy memories. It was long past midnight when you decided to stop dancing, and a lone fiddler is all who was left in the band, playing a ballad to end the night. There was still soft laughter, and a few stragglers who slowly danced to the music. Din was one of the few who were still playing cards, one of his fellow knights challenging him to a game. Din was always up for a challenge, and both he and the man he played against looked deep in thought. You realized you were finally able to read him through all that beskar, and he was far more reactive than you ever would have known if you weren’t looking for it. Your cheek sits in your palm, and your eyes are heavy, but you watch him fondly from across the room. Koska sits next to you, handing you a cup of water.
“You had fun.” She hums, taking a sip out of her own cup.
You nervously laugh in response, she wasn’t wrong. “I didn’t realize how connected you all were.” You say with a sigh before taking a sip of the water and being so relieved to finally get some hydration after all of the energy you exerted.
“Yeah…” Koska was in her typical undisturbed mood, relaxed and observant. “These are the people of Mandalore.” She sighs, “They are what we really represent. We aren’t all about war and decoration, there’s so much more to us that the world doesn’t see.” You were touched by that remark, because you had seen it too. “The truth that’s hard for all of us to believe is that the rest of the world only respects us to stay on our good side.” Her voice drops a little. She looks at you, her eyes heavy as always. You aren’t sure how to respond, because it was true. Koska takes another sip before changing the subject, “I’ve never seen him dance before.” She nods towards Din. “At least not like that.” She laughs into her cup.
You smile, “I didn’t think he had it in him.” You tease.
“He wouldn’t have if you weren’t there.” Koska shrugs. “He’s like a whole different person around you. It’s refreshing.”
“He told me about everything that happened.” You reply. “With him and Bo.”
“He did? I don’t think he’s really talked to anyone about it.”
“He just told me last week, after the ball.” You nod. “I had no idea… but it all makes sense in the end.” You finish off the last of your water as his card game finishes, the few people watching cheering as Din lays down his cards and wins. The other knight, whose face was also covered by a heavy, beskar helmet slammed his fist down on the table in defeat. Din took the money that was on the bet.
“He’s better because of you.” Koska says, smiling as he wins. “I’ve had to look out for him in a way for a long time, he’s one of my oldest friends.” She speaks of him fondly. “But I feel like he doesn’t need me as much anymore, now that you can keep an eye out for him.” Koska turns to look a t you, but you don’t notice it. “You love him?”
“I do.” You nod. “Well… I think I do.” You sigh, “I don’t really know what love is I suppose, but I believe how I feel about him is the closest thing to it.” You shrug. “And I’m totally fucked because of it.”
“I wouldn’t know.” Koska explains, “I’ve never been in love either.”
“Really?” You ask, mildly shocked in all honesty. Koska nods. “There’s no one special in your life?”
“Well, there’s one girl.” Koska begins, “But my feelings towards her are more of an… obligation, I suppose.”
“I used to worry that’s how Din felt about me.” You admit.
“Oh trust me,” She chuckles once, “It isn’t like that for him at all.” She hums and you sigh in response, you sit in comfortable silence for a moment after that before Koska speaks up again, “What are you gonna do?” She asks.
“I don’t know.” You admit, turning to look at her, “But now that the majority of the castle staff has seen us kiss, I need to think of something.”
“That was pretty stupid, by the way.” Koska rolls her eyes.
You chuckle, “I suppose it was…” Din starts walking back to you, “But I can’t seem to care. I’m sick of hiding from everyone.” Din makes it to the two of you, and you smile as you look up at him.
“It’s not much,” He holds out the money before pocketing it, “But Rue will be happy.” He laughs and holds a hand out for you to take. “How drunk is she?” He asks Koska.
“She’s fine-“
“I only had one drink!” You roll your eyes, knowing that your night with Din will end very quickly if you were drunk. You take his hand and he hoists you up with him.
“Hm… that’s what you said the other night.”
“She’s okay, maybe a little tipsy but nothing keeping her from holding a perfectly normal conversation.” Koska says to Din, knowing full well why he even asked, a smirk plasters on her face.
“Come on.” Din hums, and pulls you down one of the various halls that branch from the common room, but not the one that both of you were familiar with because of your aid from Koska.
Din leads you through the candle-lit halls, and into a small bedroom. It was cramped, and there was barely enough room for the both of you, but it was cozy. He lit an oil lamp, and it illuminated the room just enough. Din slowly pulls off his helmet, and it’s so dim that you can’t really see anything like normal, but you can make out faint features and the light in his eyes. It was enough. He started to take off his armor too, and you patiently waited with your back against the outerwall that the window was in. He sets the chestplate and pauldrons in a neat pile on the foot of the bed, and kicks his boots off. His arm comes up to rub his neck, and he stretches a few times. He pulls the chainmail up over his head, leaving him in the same peasant blouse and trousers that he wore at the beach all those days ago. You would never get used to how trim his waist was, and how broad his shoulders were. He turns around, and has a smile on his face. You wished you could see him in the light. Din runs his hands through his thick curls and then steps towards you. You close the gap and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in for an innocent kiss.
“Thank you.” You mutter.
“What for?”
“For bringing me here tonight… for being with me.” You sigh, and look up at him lovingly. He sighs, and kisses you again. Din starts to deepen the kiss, and you moan into his lips. He was a good kisser, that was for sure.
[SMUT BEGINS HERE]
Din wastes no time, he picks you up by the thighs, lifting you on his waist so you’re kissing down into him, and before you know it, he’s kissing your jaw. Din had learned your body, he knew the sweet spot on your jaw, and always knew just how long he could suck on it before it became a hickey. He never crossed that line, he knew when to stop, but how badly you wanted him to mark you up so Korkie could see, you wanted everyone to see who you loved and why. His strong hands bunch up your skirt, and lift it up so your ass could be uncovered. His arms hold you, and he stumbles back until he falls on the bed in the room. You straddle the knight and get comfortable on his lap. You can feel his hard-on growing, and you’ll never get over the confidence boost that gives you. You start to tentatively rub your hips so that you grinned down into him. You get a sting of pleasure through your spine, and you’re already getting wet. Because you were down in the lower level of the palace, and was totally isolated from most people with thick, stone walls, you take advantage of the opportunity to make noise. You moan into Din’s mouth, and he holds his lips apart for you. His breath against your face was enough alone to drive you crazy, and your fingers twist around the strands of curly, brown hair that sit at the nape of his neck.
Din’s thick, calloused fingers find their way between your legs from the back, and he starts to gently run his fingertips through your slick folds. You gasp at the feeling, he was so gentle with every move. He starts to moan as well as your hips grind further into him in search for more friction and pleasure, and the sound of his voice unobstructed by the beskar is your favorite sound in the whole world. Din settles into his seat, and he pulls you forward onto him. This allows your hips to lift up just enough that he can insert a finger through your cunt. He starts pumping his wrist immediately, fingering you. You pulled your lips away from him, and sat up straight. You throw your head back with a moan, and then bring your hands to the tucked in portion of your shirt. You pull it up over your head, and wriggle out of the slip that kept you clothed. You were finally naked, and you took your free hands and squeezed each nipple. Between the feeling of Din’s fingers deep inside of you, his growing-bulge rutting against your clit, and the added pinch of your nipples, you were already in a euphoric bliss that didn’t take long to reach.
“Din-“ you moan his name, which he loved. He’s eager, and isn’t afraid to show it. Din pulls his cock out from his trousers, and he lets you grind against the tip. You keep it from going in, trying to tease him in the same way that he did the morning after the ball. It was really just driving you over the edge, really, and so before you let his swollen tip prod at your slickness anymore, you steady yourself on his broad shoulders, and take a deep breath before sinking down onto him. Both of you moan out when you do, and he throws his head back, exposing a thick cord of muscle in his neck. You bend down to nip at his adam’s apple before suckling into his tan skin, making sure to leave a massive, purple bruise on the middle of his neck. You bottom out as you do this, and the sensation shoots up your body. You liked being on top for the sheer fact that it gave you a different angle. Din’s length was pressing up into you now, and he filled you up delightfully. Your favorite feeling in the world was being stuffed by him like this.
You could feel every inch of him as you lifted your hips up, you were so wet and it was already such a loud, obscene noise. You kept sucking hickeys into him, and your hands moved from his neck down to the hem of his blouse. You grab the sheer fabric, and pull it up over his head so that Din is finally as shirtless as you. His huge hands stay on your ass, squeezing the fat there and using his own strength to lift you up and down on his cock. It’s slow at first, but it allows the both of you to really savor the feeling of one another. You scratch your fingernails down his pecs, scratching at his abdomen, and then finally trailing in between your legs to circle at your clit as the pace picked up. You lean forward to rest your glistening forehead on his bare shoulder, and your bare chests press into one another.
Din begins to thrust his hips up, and before you know it, you’re bounding on his cock. It’s fast and hard and your weight is slamming you down on to him over and over again with no end in sight. It’s painful in a good way, the same type of ache that would have good memories and passion attached to it. You knew your core would be sore tomorrow, but it was worth it as Din’s huge cock runs against your g-spot over and over again inside of you. Your fingers speed up on your clit, and you bite down on Din’s shoulder muscle to keep from being too loud. He’s grunting and growling and is absolutely feral and the noises eliciting off of his kiss-swollen lips are needy yet dominate at the same time. You could get drunk on his breathy-sighs, his voice as dark and husky as always.
“That’s it,” He groans into your ear, you moan in response to his words. You loved when he was vocal because it was so rare that he actually was. “Are you gonna cum on my fucking cock, Princess?” He asks.
“Mhm.” You pathetically moan.
“Fuck-“ he groans, and then shifts his position. Suddenly, the two of you are standing up, and the way his length moves and twitches inside of you as he stands up pulls an involuntary moan from your lips. Din lifts you up with his arms, arching his torso back so that you can lean on him. He then gets right back at the task at hand: chasing your orgasm. It was close, you could feel it, and somehow Din seemed to have more energy and strength in this position. He lifted you up and down on his cock, and your arms found their place wrapped back around his neck, desperately trying to hold yourself up as he absolutely tears into you. He was so big, you keep forgetting how thick he is until his swollen and hard cock is filling you up like you were only made for this exact thing.
He must have gotten tired, you could tell not only by the sheen layer of sweat on his chest, but he pulled you off of himself, and threw you onto the bed. You giggle at the forceful contact, and like being tossed around in bed. It made you feel small, and it really showed his strength. Din pumps his leaking cock a few times, kneeling in front of you and pulling your legs apart. You bite your lip out of lust before he slaps the head of his length on your cunt a few times. The sound is so dirty, and it makes you even wetter.
“Stars, you’re so fucking wet for me.” He bites his lip, slapping his cock harder against you. “Can you hear that? Can you hear how fucking wet that pussy is?” He asks you. Stars, he was good at this.
“Yes… so wet for you.” You sigh, your hand coming down to play with your clit again. Din mutters a ‘that’s right’ before he slides himself through your folds a few times again before pushing into you one more, and he doesn’t hold back. His hands find their way to your hips, and he presses them down into the bed as hard as he can, pinning you in place. He starts to pound into you, and it knocks the wind out of you because of how abrupt and forceful it is. You can’t even really make noise to show how good it was, and instead a few strangled and helpless cries pull from your throat.
“Do you fantasize about my cock when you’re with your fiance? Hm? Does it turn you on knowing that you’re cheating on him?” He asks, and you can finally moan out. He was right, he knew you would say yes.
“Yes!” You say, “I can’t stop thinking about your cock!” You reply, your voice high-pitched and so needy.
“Do you think about me fucking this pussy like a bitch on my cock when you’re in important meetings?” He asks again. There was something about the disrespect that you loved, it only made things better.
“Yes sir!” You cry. Din chuckles and then smacks your ass cheek. His slamming into you so hard that you can’t believe he hasn’t gotten tired yet. You can see how his muscles flex against the moonlight and your core is aching from the knight but it’s all worth it. “I’m gonna cum!” You warm, arching your back in pleasure. Din then spits on your cut, adding to the hot wetness and dirty sounds, and he pulls your fingers away from your clit and replaces them with his.
“Cum with me,” He groans, and almost immediately, you’re cumming on his leaking cock at the same time that he does. He cums so much, and you’re always surprised by it. His load drips down your folds, and he fucks you through it. It’s filthy and you want to keep doing it for the rest of your life. Your arms come up to grasp his biceps, trying to steady yourself on anything. Din moans loud when he cums, and it isn’t until he starts softening inside of you that he quits thrusting. He doesn’t pull out, however, and he stays stuffed inside of you as he catches your breath. You’re fucked-out, your eyes heavy and breasts heaving with each deep breath that tries to calm your heart rate. “I love cumming in you.” He sighs. You already knew that, but you loved how he told you. He goes to pull out, but your thighs squeeze together, holding him in place.
“Stay inside.” You whine. Din tilts his head.
“Fuck, you’re perfect.” He bends down to kiss your forehead, and then very carefully and slowly turns the two of you so that he is spooning you, his cock still buried inside your dripping and swollen cunt. “You did good, you did so good.” He kisses your neck as he says these, breathing in deep your scent. “S’good… so good.” He catches his breath, and is just as exhausted as you are, if not more. His chest heaves against your back, and his arms pull you against him. You fight against sleep, but ultimately fail, submitting to rest almost immediately after Din pulls the blanket over the both of you. Just before you fall asleep, you hear him mumble something against your neck, although you aren’t sure what it is.
Taglist: @remmysbounty @snow30285 @what-iwish-you-knew @carbonated-beverage @frogllady @baileys-corner @leaiorganas @weirdowithnobeardo @ginger-swag-rapunzel @bewitchedbodyandsol @mograh @justavolcano @theokatz @lowkeytesss @hallway5 @news4bees @istealyof00d @songofcosplay Y @mcueveryday @310ra @thatonedindjarinfan @songofseraphine @callmekane @theelilbritt @bbwithaknife @firstofficerwiggles @jedi-jesi @ironbabey @minttchipp @bel-ppa @cp11 @venomous-ko @bbwithaknife @lunatic-sunsets @1800-fight-me @foundtheavacados @elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey @florenceivy @theanothersherlockian @spideysimpossiblegirl @mandosmistress @floraandfrost @paradoxpictures @stinky-child @goldielocks2004 @kenoobiwan @elinedjarin @uniquebiscuitmongerdonkey @artooies-scream @yuiopiklmn
“If you are included in the taglist, you are expect to interact with the post you are tagged in (ex. Reblogs, Notes and Comments). If I see that you are not interacting, you will be removed from the taglist permanently.”
part fifteen
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linguacoreana · 3 years
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Something really bad is spreading within online language-learning communities, and it’s not intentional. In general, the positivity and motivation on langblr, language tumblr, or studygram, study Instagram, are really common. It’s good to motivate people to make positive changes to improve their language skills. However, jealousy is a powerful byproduct of the motivation-focused social media accounts. What can we do to overcome polyglot envy?
What is polyglot envy?
Polyglot envy is the jealousy that language learners experience when treating language acquisition as a leaderboard. It’s natural human psychology to compare yourself to people similar to you. In school, it’s classmates. At work, it’s coworkers that joined at a similar time to you. In our world controlled by social media, people that share a hobby will compare themselves just as much.
Generally, online language learners will experience some jealous feelings when comparing the language abilities of their (perceived) equals. This could be about someone’s speaking ability, frequency of studying, or the sheer number of posts someone makes about their target language. The triggers for envy are endless. This could be someone’s flag emojis in their profile. Speaking practice videos might trigger this feeling. At the heart of it, comparing your skills to another person’s skill create something that I call “polyglot envy.”
Why do some people experience this?
Online language learners are particularly motivated, which contributes to something that may turn into toxic competitiveness. If you are motivated enough to learn a language, which most people don’t even want to do in school, it’s almost guaranteed that you will feel seek out constant improvement. That’s on top of the fact that language learning is a hobby that is generally social. You will therefore always be encountering people that can share their skills. This dangerous concoction can create a situation where online language learners become obsessed with being better than the others.
Be wary of social media
A big reason that some polyglot envy can be so severe is because of how social media presents language learning. Because you are only seeing a portion of someone’s life, you cannot see the blood, sweat, and tears. Nobody posts the day that they don’t want to learn. It would be really strange to see someone post “didn’t feel like learning language today; did nothing” on Instagram.
Social media is a curated perspective of someone’s life. In regards to language learning, you only see people’s successes and not their failures. Videos are edited to include only the best takes of someone using a language. Instagram posts only go live when the poster actually accomplished something. It’s not intentional that people give an inaccurate view; it’s the nature of social media that people only post the interesting parts. That’s not to underestimate the performative posts that exaggerate people’s abilities for views.
Like any social media niche, language learners can get more views by using inflammatory titles that aren’t necessarily accurate. Titles like “POLYGLOT speaks OVER TEN languages” or “WHITE GUY surprises STOREOWNER with his PERFECT CHINESE” are bound to get more clicks, but they can create a false image that you should be doing everything you see. However, what people do not post is the effort that goes into learning a certain grammar point. There is nothing glamorous about posting a video about how you didn’t understand the difference between these two tenses then looked up 7 different resources on the topic, and you still don’t fully get it. The problem is that that is the reality. For everyone, even the most seemingly genius people online struggle.
Social media will never communicate this to you. A major step in overcoming polyglot envy is to recognize this inaccuracy to reality.
Stop comparing yourself!
I think the most important part to avoid polyglot envy is to attack the source of the envy: comparing yourself. We are all different people. It simply makes no sense to compare yourself to others; there are millions of factors that contribute to the reason we are at our current levels in our languages.
Imagine a person who is mother of two children, has to work 40 hours a week, goes shopping, laundry, childrearing, and only finds 10-15 minutes a day to improve her French. How can you compare her to the 19 year old part-time university student who doesn’t need to work and has all the time in the world to learn ten languages? With the given situation, 10-15 minutes a day is a huge accomplishment.
The flashiest online polyglots dedicate most of time to language learning, so assuming you need to be at their level will only hurt you. Even if you compare yourself to someone in your age group with a similar lifestyle to you, it is still really bad to assume their situation because the internet conceals the uncomfortable truths about language learning. You can see them post their aesthetic notes, but you did not see deeply they understood the material. The person with the ugly notes might have worked harder, but social media could have you thinking the most beautiful notes or most enthusiastic speaker has the best skills.
Although I love to post my language efforts of the day onto my Instagram, I always try to make an effort to show the real side of my thinking in the caption. “lol I don’t get it, and I think I never will” caption so many of my posts, and I put an effort to show my weaknesses. I don’t want to push the idea that everyone should have an easy time with language learning or that I am some perfect language learner.
Think relatively
It is important to remind yourself that any studying is good. The thought that “I am not studying enough” should never cross any language learners mind. Of course, there is room for motivation and pushing yourself, but we should be very vigilant that we are not setting unhealthy expectations. The average person spends no time learning languages, so spending 10 minutes a day is totally fine. The average American or European does not know any Chinese characters, so it makes no sense to beat yourself up over the fact that you do not know the same number as another language learner. Knowing 2000 is better than knowing 1000, but knowing 10 is better than knowing 1. The fact that you have studied a language at all is already a victory in and of itself.
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sankyeom · 3 years
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picture perfect | k.m
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pairings: kevin moon x reader genre: art student au, strangers to lovers, art!student kevin, actor!reader, another secret admirer situation (yes i know we already did that in my sangyeon fit but it’s cute so idc) summary: in which you find a sketchbook filled with drawings of you, and go on a mission to find the owner word count: 8.5k (these just get longer and longer wow) series: sankyeom’s 2k followers celebration
masterlist
Your psychology professor always spoke a mile a minute, and it made taking notes unnecessarily difficult. Usually when she lectured, your wrist cramped from writing so fast, and your classmates couldn’t wait to get out of the room. On one particular autumn afternoon, you stared into nothingness as your professor gave a lecture on Milgram’s experiments, running lines in your head instead of taking notes like you usually did.
When you were cast as one of the lead roles (who didn’t even have that many lines to begin with) in your University’s winter play of An Ideal Husband, you were ecstatic to be given a new challenge. You had never been involved in acting or theatre before University, and you always felt like you were behind your peers. Your excitement soon morphed into something less productive: fear.
You were so afraid to mess up and disappoint your peers that you frequently did poorly in rehearsals and were the source of your cast’s frustrations. Perhaps it was your lack of experience, or perhaps it was because you didn’t really have any faith in yourself. Either way, it was all you could think about.
As your classmates started packing up to leave, you realised that the lecture was over and that you had just been in your own head for over an hour without learning anything from your class. Scrambling to pack up, you put away your notebooks and pencils as your phone chimed. Checking the text, you saw a message from your friend Sunwoo asking if you wanted to get lunch with him.
Getting to your feet, you texted Sunwoo that you were down for lunch as you exited the now empty lecture hall. As you left, you felt your shoe come in contact with a solid object in the doorway; a notebook that somebody must have dropped on the way out. Knowing that you would want your notes back if someone found them – especially in this class, where your professor spoke way too fast – you opened the notebook to see who it belonged to.
Your breath caught in your throat.
It wasn’t a notebook, it was a sketchbook. With a drawing of you on the first page.
At first, you scolded yourself for assuming that the person in the drawing was you. It was presumptuous of you, wasn’t it? But the texture, colour, and length of the person’s hair perfectly matched yours. The person in the picture had your eyes, skin, clothes, and smile.
Perhaps it wasn’t so arrogant of you to presume that you were being depicted in the drawing.
“That’s a lovely drawing,” Professor Shin, who was on her way out, complimented. “You’re an excellent artist.”
You glanced up from the page, feeling a little dizzy. “It’s not mine,” you admitted, head spinning at the idea of somebody drawing you. Plain, simple, me? You couldn’t believe it. “I just found it here on the floor.”
“Looks like somebody admires you,” your Professor mused, smiling before bidding you farewell, leaving you standing in an empty lecture hall, clutching the sketchbook in your hands.
You tried to find a name on the other side of the cover, but there was no number or form of identification anywhere. The only thing that alluded to an identity was the small signature at the bottom right corner of the drawing.
Moon scribbles.
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The first time Kevin saw you, he was seated three rows behind you in one of his Cultural Anthropology classes last semester. You were jotting notes as quickly as possible, brows furrowed together in concentration as you gripped your pen hard enough for your knuckles to turn white.
Kevin didn’t take any notes that day.
All the could do was watch you, appreciating the way your expressions changed as you understood the content, and the hesitance on your face when you volunteered an answer during class.
He didn’t mean to start drawing you. You had simply inspired him to pick up his pencil and start sketching, the soft strokes of the lead slowly but surely forming shapes that resembled your eyes, nose, lips…  
Kevin didn’t think that you’d be all he could draw from that moment onwards. Even during his art classes; if the assignment was to study the scenery surrounding the University and draw a landscape, Kevin couldn’t get the image out of your face out of his head. Whether he used paint, charcoal, ink, or lead, it was your profile that emerged from his efforts.
Today was no different; Kevin was supposed to be studying the Psychology slides from class that day – which he hadn’t taken notes on because he was too busy sketching you – and yet he only had the urge to add the finishing touches to his drawing instead of facilitating his studying. Dragging his messenger bag over to his desk, Kevin rifled through it in search of his sketchbook. He had filled many, many pages with your face at that point, and it had become a habit for him to bring it everywhere with him in case he had the urge to draw.
Kevin furrowed his brows when he couldn’t find it. His heart pounded suddenly, the idea of him having lost his sketchbook in a place you might find it seeming terrifying and disastrous. After a final sweep of his bag – which included emptying it inside-out to make sure he didn’t miss anything – Kevin could only hope and pray that he’d find it before you did.
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“You found what?” Sunwoo asked through a mouthful of noodles, his eyes comically large and rounded in surprise.
“A sketchbook full of drawings of me,” you replied in a monotone voice, knowing fully well that Sunwoo had heard and understood you the first time. This was the fourth time you had explained the situation, and it was starting to get a little old.
Eric narrowed his eyes, judging Sunwoo’s eating habits, before turning to face you. “Are the drawings cute?” he wondered.
“I wouldn’t say they’re cute,” you said absentmindedly, thinking back to the drawings you saw. After succumbing to your own curiosity, you had looked through the notebook to see what other drawings there were. You knew this was an invasion of privacy but you couldn’t help yourself. Surely enough, they were all of you.
“They were beautiful. Drawn in such detail that I couldn’t even believe it when I first saw them… And I look genuinely gorgeous in them,” you paused when Sunwoo scoffed at your words. “I’m not saying that to be vain,” you defended. “Trust me, I look much better in the sketches than in real life. Whoever drew them just… sees me differently than I see myself. I look beautiful in the pictures.”
“Your Professor’s right, it does sound like you’ve got yourself an admirer,” Eric teased you, pleased that somebody other than your close friends was starting to see how great you were. He wasn’t your best friend like Juyeon or Sunwoo, but he knew you well enough. “Did you get a name or anything?” he asked excitedly.
“Nothing,” you sulked. “I can take an educated guess that this person is probably in my Psych class since it’s the only class I have in that room, but who knows? It could be anyone that’s seen me before.”
“Maybe it’s one of your fans from the drama department,” Sunwoo poked fun at your cast members, not liking how they were treating you in rehearsals.
“Very funny,” you rolled your eyes, finally picking at your rice and starting to eat. “I just want to know who’s drawing me in such an amazing way. It’s so detailed that I assume it might be someone will a lot of skill, maybe an art major? But a lot of people draw as a hobby who aren’t art majors as well. Maybe-”
Eric interrupted you. “You’re thinking too much,” he said, trying to clam you down. “Just… slow down a little. Maybe they’ll come looking for it next time you have Psych? There’s no name or information so you can’t do anything to find them, anyways,” he rationalised, something that was usually your role in your friendships.
Your eyes lit up. “Moon scribbles,” you exclaimed.
Sunwoo gave you an unimpressed look. “Bless you.”
You ignored his cheek, taking out your phone and going onto Instagram. “The artist signed all of their drawings with a signature that says Moon scribbles,” you explained.
“You know it’s rude to go onto your phone during mealtimes,” Sunwoo replied.
You laughed. “I’ll be sure to remember that for the next time you do the same, Kim Sunwoo.”
After typing moonscribbles into the search bar, you saw an art page by the same name pop up. You couldn’t tell who it belonged to, as the bio vaguely gave information about the artist going to your University, studying art and being a pisces. Since the account was private, you decided to risk it and request to follow them, no matter how strange that might be if they weren’t the person you were looking for.
“I should have invited Juyeon out for lunch instead,” Sunwoo decided, picking at your rice dish in between bites of his noodles.
“Juyeon would rather hang out with Eric than you anyway,” you teased your friend back, knowing that Juyeon and Eric had a deeper friendship despite Sunwoo and Eric being the same age. Eric grinned, amused that the was the topic of discussion and not chiming in to deny anything. “And excuse me, I paid for lunch, you rascal! Now stop complaining, I’m done anyway.”
“Alright, fine. Did anything come up?” Sunwoo wondered, slapping your wrist when you tried to take some of his noodles. You rolled your eyes. Typical Sunwoo: always taking your food but never willing to share his with you.
“I don’t know yet,” you admitted. “Guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
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A few days passed without any response from moonscribbles on Instagram. You checked a few times a day to see if they ever accepted your request to follow them, but nothing ever came back. They didn’t deny your request, nor did they let you follow them either. It was frustrating, but it fell to the back of your mind after a week due to your schedule.
You had started doing full rehearsals with your cast members on stage for the play. At first, you thought that the setting might help you remember your lines and act without feeling awkward, but you were wrong. Most of your cast mates thought you got one of the lead roles for an alternate reason; perhaps you were related to someone on the University’s board and the director put you in because they wanted to keep their job. None of that was true, of course, but it didn’t help you make any friends.
The only friend you made was Younghoon, who played the lead opposite you, and with whom you frequently got together to go over lines and practice. He was one of those actors who was a completely different person from his role; he could keep be totally in character while doing his lines and the second the scene was over, he was back to his smiley self.
It didn’t help your confidence that he was an absolute pro. It only made you seem less competent in comparison, and you scolded yourself for even thinking that. Of course you knew it wasn’t Younghoon’s fault that he was simply much better at acting than you, but it definitely hurt your pride even more.
After another disastrous rehearsal, your cast mates had left to go backstage so you could have a word with the director. Younghoon sent you an encouraging smile and a pat on the shoulder before he followed your cast mates backstage, going over his lines in a faint whisper.
“Y/n,” your director began gently. “I don’t mean to hurt your feelings, but what’s up with you?” You said nothing, prompting her to keep talking. “Your audition was really great. I knew I wanted you to play a lead role the second you were done auditioning. But you’ve been doing pretty poorly in rehearsals.”
“I know,” you admitted. “I’m really sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
Your director sighed. “Look Y/n, I still want you to play your role. I like your chemistry with Younghoon and I think you guys could be really great leads. But if things don’t improve, I’m going to have to replace you with your understudy for the sake of this production.”
Even though you knew it was the obvious thing to do, it still hurt to hear. “I understand,” you whispered, nodding as you glanced at the floor.
“I really hope you can figure this out,” your director said, gently placing a hand on your shoulder. “Let me know if I can help in any way, okay?” You nodded, and your director excused herself, leaving you standing at the edge of the stage by yourself.
You groaned once you were alone, taking a seat at the edge of the stage and letting your legs dangle over the edge. Welcoming the silence in the theatre as most of the cast had left for the day, you allowed yourself to lay back and close your eyes.
Why couldn’t you get this right?
Maybe I should just quit the play, you thought to yourself. It’s probably for the best.
When you heard the gentle patter of footsteps leading onto the stage, you spoke without opening your eyes. “Let me guess, you came to tell me how terrible I am too?” you uttered, not even caring who it was anymore.
The footsteps paused. “Um, actually, I’m just here to paint the sets…” a soft male voice spoke, causing you to open your eyes and sit up.
A familiar face stood a few metres away from you, paintbrushes and paints in hand. He had black hair that slightly covered his eyes, cat-like eyes and small lips that were pursed at the awkward interaction the two of you had just had.
“Sorry,” you apologised, getting to your feet. “It’s been a rough day,” you paused. “You’re Kevin, right?”
He looked surprised that you knew who he was. “Oh. Yes, actually.”
“I’m close with Juyeon,” you explained, realising how strange it might seem that you knew his name and recognised him. “I suppose I should probably have led with that.”
Kevin smiled. “No worries. I know you as well, you’re Y/n. It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Likewise,” you replied, bending down to collect your script and other belongings, pushing them into your tote bag as quickly as possible. “I’ll get out of your hair, then,” you smiled at him, implying it as your farewell.
“For the record, I don’t think you’re terrible,” Kevin confessed, rolling up the sleeves of his shirt and starting to mix paints. You glanced at him. “Are you in your head a little? Maybe. But you’re far from terrible,” he assured you, his brown eyes brimming with kindness.
“That’s very nice of you to say,” you replied. “Thanks. Although, you seem more like an artist than an actor,” you added, teasing him just a little. You couldn’t help yourself, he was pretty cute.
Kevin laughed. “Fair enough,” he allowed. “If you want me to brag about being the lead in Aladdin in middle school, then I will.”
You placed your tote bag on your shoulder, holding your hands up in surrender. “I take it back,” you said immediately. “You have more experience than I do on stage.” The two of you shared grins.
“You’ll get the hang of it,” Kevin assured you. “If I can do it then you certainly can.”
He seemed really sincere, and you appreciated it. “Thanks, Kevin,” you said, feeling much lighter and in a far better mood than before Kevin had come on stage. “I’ll see you around,” you bid your farewells before exiting the stage.
You’d have to ask Juyeon more about his friend Kevin.
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The next time you and Kevin bumped into each other was after one of your rehearsals a few weeks later.
You had improved in your rehearsal times, with a lot of help from Younghoon – who practiced with you in between classes – and Sunwoo – who you ran lines with anytime the two of you were together. When you were done rehearsing, your director had expressed how happy she was that you were starting to warm up to the stage and really get into the character the way she was hoping you would. Younghoon earned himself two week’s worth of free coffee from you, and your cast finally stopped glaring at you whenever you came to rehearsals.
“Oh, hey,” you greeted Kevin, who started coming onstage to work on the sets with other people who were involved in the production process. “Good to see you again,” you told him.
“You too,” Kevin beamed, his hair falling over his eyes just slightly. You had the urge to brush it out of the way so you could see him better, but you resisted the urge and scolded yourself for being so forward. “You guys are looking pretty good out there,” he complimented, waving at Younghoon as he left the theatre. His older friend gave him a knowing look, making big eyes at him and puckering his lips to tease Kevin about his crush on you.
“Thank you,” you smiled back at him, entirely clueless to Kevin cursing Younghoon with his eyes right in front of you. “The sets are really coming along too,” you commend him, gesturing around you. “It’s certainly adding some more colour to our rehearsals.”
“Glad to hear it,” Kevin replied. “Set painting isn’t exactly my vocation or anything, but it’s a fun way to help out with my skillset.”
“Skillset?” you echoed, tilting his head in curiosity.
“Ah,” Kevin cleared his throat awkwardly. “Um, I’m a fine arts major. So set painting is a little less refined than what I usually do. Not that I’m bragging,” he added quickly.
“Not at all,” you agreed, your eyes widening in realisation. “Fine arts, that’s a really cool major. You must be pretty talented to get into fine arts here, it’s such a competitive major,” your eyes widened in sudden realisation. “I’d love to see something of yours that doesn’t involve painting sets,” you motioned to the stage around you.
Kevin almost blushed. “Really?” he asked, his heart beat hammering in his chest at the idea of you seeing his art.
“Yeah,” you nodded your head eagerly. Partly because you were really curious about his art, but mostly because Kevin was pretty damn cute. “For sure! I mean, if you come to opening night of the play, I’d love to go see your art some time.”
“How’s this Saturday?” Kevin asked, his words almost slurring together at the speed he was talking. “The art department’s putting on an exhibition and a few of my drawings are going to be in it.”
“That sounds great,” you agreed. “Do you think I could bring some friends?”
Kevin nodded, his deep brown eyes brightening at the idea. “For sure! I already invited Juyeon but you can bring Sunwoo along as well.”
“Then I’ll be there,” you promised.
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“Oh my god, are you touching the art?” you heard Kevin exclaim semi-loudly. You froze from your place, pointing at the water fountain from which you were filling up a cup of water to drink.
“What?” you asked dumbly, your eyes widening as Kevin smirked, hiding his laughter.
It was the Saturday of Kevin’s exhibition and you were doing your best to blend in with all the artistically-minded people in the room; admiring the paintings, motioning at the sculptures and pondering over the meanings behind the light exhibitions.
“I thought this was just a regular water fountain,” you tried to defend yourself.
“It is, I’m just messing with you,” Kevin shrugged, causing you to exhale in relief and slap Kevin’s arm.
“That was awful of you,” you scolded, unable to hide the large grin making its way onto your face. “You suck.”
“So I’ve heard,” Kevin retorted easily. “Hi. Thanks for coming.”
“Thanks for inviting me,” you replied. “So, when am I going to see your pieces?” you asked, motioning around the room. It was filled to the brim and people were bustling around the room to get a good look at every piece.
“Right now if you’re up for it,” Kevin suggested, waving as Juyeon and Sunwoo made their way over to the pair of you. You had excused yourself to get some water when Kevin spotted you and came over. “Hey guys. Sunwoo, good to see you again.”
“You too,” Sunwoo replied courteously, which was unlike him. Sunwoo knew Kevin vaguely through Juyeon, who was the same age as Kevin and had a lot of classes with him, and Eric, who Kevin often hung out with because they both spoke English. “Any of these yours?”
“A few,” Kevin said modestly.
Sunwoo nodded, looking around. “Are they good or are they more… conceptual?” he asked, his own way of asking whether or not Kevin’s art was a piece of crap or not.
You rolled your eyes. “Your eloquence astounds me, Sunwoo,” you said sarcastically.
“Well I might as well get to the point,” Sunwoo chided, glancing back at Kevin. “So?”
Kevin, who was observing you and Sunwoo with the same amused smile that Juyeon was, motioned the three of you over as he led you in the direction of his drawings. “I’m not so sure if they’re good, or conceptual, but I suppose you could judge that for yourself,” he told Sunwoo, coming to a halt in front of a display of drawings.
The drawings were lively and bright; colours in the form of pastels and charcoal bringing richness and warmth to the image. Most of his drawings depicted a faceless person. There were multiple drawings where the person was being portrayed from the back, and ones that were head-on didn’t have any facial features.
“These are amazing,” you breathed out, enchanted by the creativity of the drawings, as well as the immense detail that went into them.
“I like them,” Sunwoo decided, causing Juyeon to nod in agreement.
“They’re really good,” Juyeon complimented his friend, patting him on the shoulder. “I’m really glad you decided to put something on display this year.” Juyeon knew all about the artistic slump Kevin was in last year, so he didn’t have any art on display.
Kevin thanked Juyeon quietly, still studying your expression. “Can I ask why they’re faceless?” you asked, tilting your head as you studied the drawings further.
“Ah, that,” Kevin began, an uncharacteristic shyness appearing in his tone. “Well, I’ve been inspired by somebody for a few months now,” he explained. “I suppose I made my drawings faceless because I don’t want people to know who my muse is. I’m not ready to face how I feel when I draw them yet, and I think it’s too personal to put in an exhibition.”
You nodded your head, understanding where he was coming from. “That’s really great. I hope that one day I’ll get to see their face,” you said kindly, genuinely enjoying his art. Your eyes widened as you realised something. “Hey, do you know the other students in your major well?” you asked him.
Kevin raised an eyebrow at your sudden change of topic. “Yeah, I think so. We’re a small major and I have all of my 300-level classes with all the same people. Why do you ask?”
“Would you be able to recognise one of your peer’s work?” you inquired, the sketchbook in your dorm room burning a hole in your mind. He might be able to solve my curiosity.
“Maybe,” Kevin drawled slowly. “Why?” he found your sudden change of pace surprising. “What’s up?”
“Well, I found someone’s sketchbook in one of my classes and I was wondering who it belonged to,” you began, hesitating before bringing up the sketchbook you found in your Psychology class. “But they didn’t put their name on it so I can’t return it to the owner. It was really detailed and skilled work, so I thought they might be a fine arts major.”
Kevin’s heart plummeted into his stomach.
His worst nightmare had come true: you had found his sketchbook. His sketchbook that was filled with his heart-felt drawings of you. And here you were, asking him if he knew who it belonged to. Somehow, it was equal parts thrilling and mortifying.
Sunwoo, having heard about your secret admirer decided to check out a different part of the exhibition, but Juyeon – who was hearing this for the first time – stayed out of curiosity. “You found someone’s sketchbook?” he repeated. “What was in it?”
You laughed awkwardly. “Oh. Well, here’s the thing… There’s some drawings of me in it,” you admitted, feeling shy about divulging everything about the sketchbook to Kevin. “I just… I guess I want to meet the person that made me feel so vibrant and beautiful when looking at the drawings.”
“You have an admirer,” Juyeon realised, beaming at you; eyes squinting into little crescents. “That’s adorable. Does it say anything inside?”
“Yeah it does, actually,” you told him, giving him a smile before meeting Kevin’s eyes again. “All of the drawings are signed with the handle Moon scribbles,” you recalled. “No name or phone number, though.”
Juyeon’s brows furrowed together. “Kev, isn’t Moon scribbles-“
“A really interesting name?” Kevin cut Juyeon off, sending him the clear message that he wasn’t ready to tell you about the fact that you were his muse and he couldn’t stop thinking about you.
Getting the message, Juyeon eagerly agreed, thanking Kevin for finishing his train of thought. “Um, I don’t think I’ve heard of it before. But if you show me the drawings, maybe I could recognise the style?” Kevin suggested, coming up with a solution for you to find the owner of the sketchbook.
“That would be really great, actually,” you acknowledged. “I could bring it by the next time we hang out,” you suggested, excited to figure out who you should thank for their hard work.
“Next time?” Kevin echoed, excitement filling his stomach. “Are you really so eager to solve your mystery?” he teased you.
“Well, you’re not such a bad addition,” you added with a wink.
Kevin’s heart soared.
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You met up with Kevin in the library a few days later to show him your sketchbook. It was good timing because you definitely needed to study for your Psychology class after zoning out in your last few lectures, so the library was the perfect setting to meet.
“Hey,” you greeted Kevin, taking the seat next to him on one of the sofas in the more secluded area of the library.
“Hi,” Kevin mumbled in return, his voice sounding quieter and more hoarse than usual. At first, you thought it might be the fact that he had to whisper that made him sound more quiet. Then, you spotted the dark circles under his eyes and the fact that he was wearing glasses, which he didn’t normally do.
“You okay?” you asked him, seeing him stretch out and yawn in his seat.
“Me?” Kevin murmured, meeting your gaze with tired, glazed-over eyes. “Yeah, I’m good.”
“Not to sound like an asshole who’s telling you that you look terrible, which I’m not, but you look really tired,” you had to tell Kevin. “Are you sure you’re up for this? You look like you could use some sleep.”
“Sleep,” Kevin said the word like it’s funny. “Sleep and I… we aren’t friends.”
You smiled sympathetically at your new friend. “Up all night studying?” you wondered.
“Insomnia,” Kevin corrected you.
“Ah,” you nodded in understanding. “So sleep is… a distant acquaintance?” you played off his previous joke.
“Something like that,” he allowed, moving his glasses up onto his forehead to rub his eyes. “I’m good, though. I look like this most days, don’t worry about it.”
“If you say so,” you trail off, your concern still not being calmed by Kevin’s explanation. “We can do this anther time if it helps, though. I wouldn’t want you to be unwell because of me.”
Kevin grinned, adjusting the beanie on his head. “But I couldn’t possibly be unwell if I’m around you,” he said, pointing his finger in the air as if he had made an excellent realisation. “Now, show me the sketchbook.”
You pulled the sketchbook out of your tote bag and handed it over to him.
Seeing it right in front of him, Kevin could confirm that it was definitely his sketch book that you had found. Although the chances of another person on campus being entirely smitten by you to the point where you became their artistic muse was slim, it wasn’t zero.
“Can I,” he motioned to the sketchbook, asking for permission to open it. It was incredibly ironic, but Kevin was too embarrassed to come clean about the sketchbook being his.
“Go ahead,” you nodded, telling him to flip through the pages.
Kevin did so, pretending he was seeing all the drawings for the first time. He paused on every page, looking over the details in the sketches and the way they realistically depicted your features. Even though he was the one who drew them, Kevin could admit that the drawings were really great. They were great because he appreciated the subject and was inspired by you. That much was clear to anybody.
“Wow,” Kevin said when he was done looking at all the drawings, holding the sketchbook on his lap. “That’s… you,” he observed, as if he didn’t already know.
“So I’m not crazy?” you asked immediately, biting your lip. “That’s me?” you glanced down at the open page in front of Kevin, seeing the resemblance between you and the person in the drawing.
“Oh it’s definitely you,” Kevin confirmed. “Unless you have an identical twin somewhere out there, there’s no doubt in my mind that it’s you.”
You let out a relieved sigh, leaning back onto the sofa. “Okay, good. I thought I was being really shallow and presumptuous at first but it’s good that you agree,” you told him, feeling a weight being lifted off your chest. “So, does it look familiar?”
“I’m not sure,” Kevin replied vaguely, wondering how he was going to get himself out of this one. “Do you think I could keep this? Maybe look over it a few more times when I’m not about to pass out,” he added.
“Sure,” you allowed. You trusted Kevin enough that he wouldn’t lose the sketchbook, since all of your mutual friends spoke very highly of him. Besides, you were becoming more impressed by him every time the two of you met. “I hope something comes up. I looked moonscribbles up on Instagram but their account is private and they haven’t responded to my follow request yet.”
Kevin had completely forgotten about his private art Instagram account. Before he was inspired by you to draw, he was in a serious slump and had been spiralling downwards. In this time, he made his Instagram account private in an effort to not think about it too much. Kevin scolded himself for not realising that you would look him up on social media to find him.
“That’s too bad,” he said sympathetically. “Maybe they’ll respond soon?”
“I hope so,” you mumbled, sighing. “I just… I want to meet them.”
“Just out of curiosity, why do you want to meet them so badly?” Kevin wondered. “Because they drew pretty pictures of you?”
“Kind of?” you replied unsurely. “That’s definitely part of it. I guess I wanted to meet somebody who thought I was vibrant and colourful and beautiful,” you shrugged, glancing down at your lap. “Because I don’t think that about myself at all. It’s why I suck at acting, and it’s why my cast mates hate me. I just thought that if somebody out there really thought I was special, maybe I would have a reason to believe it, too.”
Kevin felt butterflies rising in his stomach again, but not in a fluttery, nervous way. He was anxious about what was going to happen. “I’ll do my best to help out,” he said gently. “And Y/n?” you looked back up at Kevin. “I think you’re special,” he admitted. “A lot of people do. Juyeon, Sunwoo, Eric, Younghoon… You don’t need Moon scribbles to be special, you’re already special to us.”
A grateful, shy smile spread across your lips at his words. “Thanks, Kev. For your help, and for saying that. I really appreciate it,” you acknowledged afterwards, realising that Kevin was going out of his way to figure out your mystery while he was dead tired.
Noticing the shift in atmosphere, you cleared your throat and changed the subject, heart hammering. “I’m going to stay here and study for my Psychology class, so you don’t have to stay if you’d rather get some sleep.”
“Psychology?” Kevin echoed. “Are you taking it with Professor Shin?”
“Yes,” you groaned. “She talks so fast that my hand feels like it’s going to fall off after her lectures,” you complained.
Kevin laughed. “I can relate,” he commented. “I didn’t think you were in my class. I’m in section fifteen, what about you?”
“Section twenty-two,” you said, shrugging. “Although I’m glad to hear that it’s not just my class that she’s driving crazy.”
“Ditto,” Kevin agreed. “I actually have to get some studying done for that class too. You mind if I stay?”
“Not at all,” you promised. “It always helps to study with a friend,” you added, pulling out your notes and laptop from your tote bag.
After setting up all of your work, you quickly got to studying, cross-referencing terms from your notes to the textbook to make sure you didn’t write down anything wrong in your hurry. Kevin was silent and still beside you, which you took no notice of because you were so focused. In your distraction, he soon drifted off to sleep with his pencil still in hand, head lulling back to rest on the sofa as his eyes shut by their own accord.
Forty minutes later, you had finished both of the units on Social Psychology and furrowed your brows at an unfamiliar name. “Hey Kev, did you guys talk about-“ you paused after turning to face your new friend, seeing that he was peacefully sleeping, his head now leaning to the side to face you.
The sight of him sleeping peacefully warmed your heart, especially after he had talked about his insomnia earlier. Smiling, you pulled your headphones out of your tote bag so you could listen to the recorded lectures in favour of waking up Kevin to ask him for help. As carefully as you could, you slid the pencil out of his palm and placed it to the side so he could get some rest.
You spent the next half an hour studying in silence, until you noticed Eric, Sunwoo and Jacob walking up to you and Kevin. “Hey,” Sunwoo greeted you, earning a wave from you.
“Hi guys,” you whispered back. “What’s up?”
“Are you and Kevin dating?” Eric interrupted whatever Sunwoo was about to say, an excited glint in his eyes. “You guys are in the make-out section of the library!”
You made a face. “That’s why nobody’s here?” you realised, looking around and frowning. “No, Eric. We’re just studying together.”
Jacob grinned. “Looks like Kevin’s making really great progress on that front,” he teased. “I’m Jacob, by the way,” he added, since the two of you hadn’t properly been introduced yet.
“I’m Y/n,” you replied. “Nice to finally meet you! These rascals have told me all about you,” you motioned to Sunwoo and Eric, who beamed proudly.
“I’ve heard a lot about you as well,” Jacob replied. “And I’ve come to collect Kevin. If he doesn’t wake up soon, he’s going to miss his Ceramics class,” he explained.
“Aw,” you pouted, glancing over at Kevin. “He looks so peaceful when he’s sleeping, though. And he said he was struggling to sleep.”
“Yeah,” Jacob agreed. “I hate waking him. Believe me, I’m his roommate so I see it all first-hand. But attendance is graded in this class, so…” he trailed off with a small shrug before leaning over and waking Kevin up.
Kevin awoke, eyes blinking drowsily as he took in the image of four people staring at him. “What did I do?” he asked, wondering what prompted all the attention.
You grinned, finding the sight rather cute. “Your wake-up service is here to tell you it’s ceramics time,” you explained.
“I fell asleep,” Kevin realised. “I’m sorry,” he apologised, feeling bad that you were studying in silence when you were supposed to be helping each other out.
“Don’t be, I’m glad you got some shut-eye,” you assured him. “Go get ready for your class.”
Kevin gathered all of his things into his bag and waved his goodbyes, trudging out of the library with Jacob. “So,” Jacob began, a wide grin gracing his features. “That’s Y/n?” he teased.
“Yes, that’s Y/n,” Kevin replied quietly.
“The famous Y/n?”
“Oh my god please tell me you didn’t say anything to Y/n.”
“What should I have said? Oh so you’re the Y/n that Kevin has been in love with all semester! The famous muse! Nice to meet you, I’m the guy that has to listen to him gush about you.”
“Don’t make me hide your guitar.”
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moonscribbles accepted your follow request!
You sat up from where you were lying down on your bed, startled at the notification you had just received. Racing to open your Instagram app, you looked at moonscribbles’s account. None of the drawings on their account were of you, so you couldn’t decide if they were the right person. But they simply had to be. They went to your school, they studied art…
Braving it, you decided to send them a private message.
Hi! I think I found your sketchbook in Professor Shin’s lecture hall. How do you want me to return it to you?
You waited for a response, which came within a minute.
You can keep it.
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You were pouting over your cereal in the dining hall when Juyeon joined you, his plate stacked high with all kinds of delicious breakfast foods. “Hey pouty,” he teased you, giving your shoulder a gentle nudge when he took the seat next to yours. His smile never failed to cheer you up, which is why your frown caused concern to grow in your best friend. “Why the long face?”
“I’m never going to meet moonscribbles,” you told him, your eyes uncharacteristically sad and shiny when they met Juyeon’s.
He startled at how upset you were. “What? Why would you say that?”
“They accepted my follow request on Instagram,” you explained. “And they told me I could keep the sketchbook. Then they went offline,” you recalled. “I guess I was wrong about them.”
“I’m sorry. Whoever they are, they clearly have no idea what they’re missing.” Juyeon frowned, sympathetic of your situation and confused about what Kevin thought he was doing.
“What who’s missing?” Jacob and Eric took the seats opposite you and Juyeon, their plates equally filled with breakfast foods.
“Moon scribbles,” you said vaguely, not wanting to get into it with anyone other than Juyeon and Sunwoo. While you were starting to get to know Jacob better, you didn’t feel comfortable enough around them to discuss the matter with them. And of course you loved Eric, and he knew your situation, but you hadn’t anticipated feeling so upset about Moon scribbles’s response.
“Kevin?” Jacob asked innocently, picking up his fork and elbowing Eric so he wouldn’t steal his food. “What did he do?”
Your eyes snapped over to Jacob. “What did you just say?” you asked. Juyeon’s eyes widened, mouth slightly open as Jacob revealed Kevin’s secret to you without even realising it.
“I was asking what Kevin did,” Jacob repeated. “You said Moon scribbles, didn’t you? Kevin’s artist handle?”
“That’s clever,” Eric chimed in, innocently eating his food. “Since his last name is Moon, and all.” Then his eyes widened and he realised the situation, his gaze snapping over at you to see how you were handling the reveal.
In that moment, you’d never felt like more of an idiot.
“Kevin is Moon scribbles,” you echoed, dropping your fork onto your tray.
“Oh,” Jacob paused, reading the room as he saw the way Juyeon was staring at him. “Did you… not know that?”
“No,” you told him, having lost your already minimal appetite. “He didn’t say a thing.”
“Oh boy,” Jacob said awkwardly. “I feel like I definitely just messed up.”
“No, no,” you denied, waving your hand in Jacob’s direction. “Not at all. I’m just glad that I know who it is,” you tried to convince him, as well as yourself. “Did you know?” you asked Juyeon. “That day at the exhibition… You were trying to tell me that you knew it was Kevin, weren’t you?”
“Yes, I knew,” Juyeon replied slowly, confirming your suspicions.
For a moment, a dull pain ached in your chest. “Why didn’t you tell me?” you asked, hurt that your best friend had lied to you.
“Because I figured Kevin wanted to tell you in his own time,” he explained. “I wasn’t trying to keep anything from you, I just thought he’d do the right thing and explain it to you himself. It felt like it wasn’t my news to tell.”
“Okay,” you nodded. “I understand,” you got to your feet, grabbing your tray after putting your bag on your shoulder.
Juyeon stood up with you. “Are you upset with me?” he asked. “Because I understand if you are.”
You did your best to smile, not caring if it looked real or not. “I’m not upset with you,” you assured him. “I’m upset, but not at you. I have to get to the last dress rehearsal before opening night, so,” you glanced over at Jacob and Eric, who both looked mortified. “Enjoy your breakfast,” you told them before putting your tray away and walking to the theatre as quickly as you could.
“Hey!” your director greeted you when you came in, beaming. “You’re like a half hour early,” she observed.
“Oh, I’ve just come to go over lines and talk to some friends,” you lied, smiling at her before stepping backstage. The set design volunteers were adding last-minute touched to their sets, and you knew that was where you’d find Kevin.
“Hey,” he greeted you when you arrived in front of him. “What’s up?”
“Moon scribbles doesn’t want their sketchbook back,” you told him, as if you didn’t know that he was Moon scribbles. “So you don’t have to keep looking for them,” you added.
“Oh, okay,” Kevin nodded as if he didn’t already know this. “Did you want the sketchbook back?”
“You can keep it,” you declined, crossing your arms over your chest. “It’s rightfully yours anyway.”
Kevin paused his painting. “It is?” he asked, voice squeaking just slightly in surprise.
“Yeah, Moon scribbles,” you narrowed your eyes at him. “Besides, it’s the only way you’ll get to see me ever again, anyway,” you added, frowning as you turned around to go. “Bye, Kevin.”
“Wait,” Kevin put his fine paintbrush down to stop you from leaving.
“What?” you asked him, facing him with a raised eyebrow. “You know what, I actually really want to hear this. What exactly is it that you’re going to say to save this situation?” you wondered.
Kevin sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean for it to go on this long,” he began.
“That’s a joke,” you accused. “You knew how much this meant to me! Just admit that you were never going to tell me that you’re Moon scribbles.”
“How could I tell you?” Kevin exclaimed, startling you with his sudden increase in volume. “How could I just come forward and tell you that it was me? What would you have thought of me?”
“I’d have thought more of you than I do now,” you retorted. “Look, I get it now. I read the situation all wrong. You don’t think I’m special or vibrant or any of those things. You just drew me because I was there, I suppose,” you decided, feeling your heart dropping in your chest at your own words.
“That is not true,” Kevin denied, shaking his head. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”
“I suppose you might have though I was pretty if you drew me,” you allowed. “But clearly, I was putting too much onto this whole Moon scribbles thing, and it didn’t mean anything to you at all. Which is fine, it doesn’t have to mean anything. It just sucks that you couldn’t just tell me that to my face,” you confessed wholeheartedly. “But it’s fine. You can just go back to drawing your faceless muse now, I’m over it,” you lied.
“That’s not why I didn’t want to tell you that I’m Moon scribbles,” Kevin insisted. “I didn’t want to tell you because I didn’t want you to think I drew you just because you’re beautiful.”
“That worked out well,” you muttered.
Kevin sighed. “I don’t care about your looks, as ironic as that sounds. When I first saw you… You exuded an aura. I know that sounds cheesy and not everyone believes in vibes or energy, or whatever, but it’s true. You inspired me to draw and be creative,” he explained. “But I liked you when I met you. When I saw you in class and when I saw you around Sunwoo and Juyeon. You don’t get it. You are my faceless muse. You have been ever since our Cultural Anthropology class last semester.”
That stopped your train of thought. “You were in that class?” you repeated, confused.
“Yes I was. The first time I saw you… I swear, I haven’t drawn anything other than you since that day,” Kevin’s tone was uncharacteristically serious, and you felt inclined to believe him. “No matter how hard I tried. Flowers turned into your eyes, landscapes became your hair; I was a man possessed. I still am.”
“Then why not tell me all of this?” you wondered, frustrated with the situation.
“I thought that if you found out I was Moon scribbles, you’d just think I was shallow,” he paused. “Or worse.”
You rose an eyebrow. “Worse?”
Now it was Kevin’s turn to sound frustrated. “I mean, I’m not so great and special. I figured you’d be disappointed that it’s me.”
Your heart clenched for him. “How could I be disappointed that it’s you?” you asked him. “You’re great. It’s me who’s awful.”
“You aren’t awful,” he denied. “You’re so much greater than you can see. Don’t you get it? You inspired me to create after the most awful year I’ve ever had artistically. I drew you instead of studying, I drew you instead of leaving my dorm, hell, I drew you instead of sleeping. You didn’t misunderstand anything. I do think that you’re special, and vibrant.”
You buried your face in your hands. “Okay,” you spoke quietly, your mind spinning in circles. “I believe you.”
Kevin nodded. “Good.”
You nodded back at him, unsure of how to continue. “So… You have a sketchbook full of drawings of me,” you decided to tease him, just to bring some of the usual lightheartedness you felt around Kevin back.
Kevin visibly reddened at your words. “I mean… I’d be lying if I said it was just one,” he confessed.
You brightened at his words. “You have multiple sketchbooks full of drawings of me?” you exclaimed.
“I made drawings of you for the art exhibition,” he reminded you. “I haven’t been able to draw anything else for seven months. And I draw a lot, so the sketchbooks just started piling up. Plus my iPad,” catching the delighted glint in your eyes, Kevin cut himself off. “You know what, we don’t have to talk about my iPad.”
You smiled, flattered that Kevin had been so inspired by you. “Well, thank you. For filling sketchbooks and iPads and whatever other mediums with drawings of me. You made me feel seen for the first time in a really long time, and I appreciate it,” you acknowledged his efforts. “Is this why everyone acts so weird when we’re together?” you put the pieces together.
“What are you talking about?” Kevin asked, dreading your answer.
“Eric practically skips over to me whenever he sees me now, asking about you and all kinds of other things. Jacob is a lot more subtle, but he looks at me like a proud dad sometimes,” you explained.
Kevin rested his palm against his forehead. “Why are they so obvious?”
“The real question is: Why was Juyeon the least obvious,” you retorted.
“I think he just wanted us both to figure things out in our own time,” Kevin mused, earning a hum and a nod in agreement from you.
“Hey Y/n,” Younghoon poked his head around the corner. “We’re getting ready for rehearsals. Are you going to be done in time to change?” he asked, eyes flitting between you and Kevin.
“Yeah, I’m good to start getting ready. Thanks Younghoon,” you agreed, grateful that your friend wasn’t making a big deal out of what he might have overheard. Younghoon nodded, disappearing with a wink to get himself ready. “Well, that’s my cue,” you trailed off, motioning to the backstage area where you had to get changed for your last dress rehearsal.
Kevin nodded, slightly upset that your conversation didn’t come to a closure yet. “Okay,” he replied. “I guess I’ll see you around?”
You agreed with him, grabbing your bag from where you dropped it on the floor and making your way to the changing rooms. Before you opened the door, you turned back to face Kevin, who had been watching you leave. “I came to your exhibition, so you have to come to opening night,” you reminded him of the agreement the two of you made.
“I’ll be there,” Kevin assured you, taking it as a sign that the two of you could still – at the very least – be friends.
“Good,” you smiled. “And after opening night, we have a few days off so I would definitely be available, say, Wednesday?” you informed him, hoping he’d get the idea.
Kevin brightened up, his posture straightening suddenly. “Oh?” he stammered. “Would you maybe want to get dinner on Wednesday?” he offered. “Like, a date?”
You grinned, your eye dropping into a wink. “What an excellent idea,” you told him. “By the way, don’t bother asking the boys about what I like, they’re completely clueless. My favourite flowers are peonies.”
“Peonies,” Kevin repeated, accompanied by a nod. “Any preferred colour?” he asked, giddy with excitement at the outcome your confrontation had.
You shrugged. “Surprise me.”
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note: okay i know you guys waited forever for this so thank you so much for your patience!! i hope you guys enjoyed it xx
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depravitymoon · 3 years
Text
Yandere Bucci Gang x Four temperament Dere type Darlings head canons
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Author’s note: People love writing about Yandere types, so I kind of wanted to do some darling types. I based this on the 4 temperaments and the 4 main Dere types. Since darling’s suppose to be anyone (a self-insert), I didn’t want to post pics of Dere girls. Remember, it’s a mix, so the temperament pictures won’t exactly fit my descriptions.
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Warning: Assumes AFAB Darling, mention of violence, imply noncon, typical Yandere scariness
What Dere girls I’m talking about:
Dandere: Super shy cutie.
Tsundere: Super angry cutie.
Kuudere: Super aloof cutie.
Deredere: Social butterfly cutie.
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Dandere-Phlegmatic
Dandere-Phlegmatic types are the ideal darlings. You’re kind, thoughtful, sympathetic, good listener, timid, docile, and most importantly, SUBMISSIVE. Just a shy little sweetheart! This Dere type is best for a Yandere Bucci Gang Harem! 
Small monogamous head canons for our 6 males:
With Giorno - You’re either older than him or mature for your age like he is. You two have the same interests of plants and animals. Most importantly, you have a big heart, either you love helping out your community or you love rescuing animals. If you’re not materialistic, GREAT. He’ll spoil you with with charity money and new pets. 
With Bruno - You have strong maternal instincts either towards your kids or towards kids in general. Your meek docile demeanor activates Bruno’s protectiveness. Mammina/Bambina, you’re so easy to manipulate! You need Bruno! Only he should be able to take advantage of you!
With Abbacchio - You’re so sympathetic and wholesome. You just want to make the world a better place. You don’t deserve the shittiness thrown your way. Let him hide you from all of it. You’re not that social anyways, so Abbacchio can be all the social life you need! He’ll shop for you and give you all the books/games/etc you ever wanted!
With Fugo - Even if you’re not smart, you’re open to learning and a good listener. You’re a perfect student for him! You know what to say to calm him down. You’re always willing to see the good in him. What he likes the most is that you follow his instructions and you’re not noisy.
With Narancia - He loves that you baby him. Since you’re not a social person, it’s perfect! He’s all the social life you need. You’re able to give him the majority of your attention. He adores how passionate you are in your hobbies, even if he’s not particularly interested. He’ll get interested because it’s YOU. And in turn, he wants you to like the activities he loves doing, like dancing, games, etc.
With Mista - He LOVES the way you cry, it’s beautiful. You’re so fun to tease and rough up. You’re so great at his non-con “roleplay” and your pleads are super realistic. And you always shiver with anticipation whenever he feels you up. You’re a great playmate. 
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Tsundere-Choleric
Tsundere-Choleric types are the least likely to be darlings. You’re dominant, bossy, short-tempered, aggressive, and if you’re a strong stand user, you’re busting out ASAP and your Yandere will have a hard time finding you. The most resistance and the most defiant darling. Nearly immune to manipulation.
Most compatible: Giorno and Mista.
Mista and Giorno LOVE the challenge and your spitfire attitude arouses them. Nothing is hotter than hate-fucking. For Mista, you’re just playing hard-to-get for the roleplay. For Giorno, he loves trying to break you and mold you into the perfect Sugar Baby.
If Tsundere!Darling is a powerful stand user, it doesnt end well…. FOR YOU: Even without the Requiem Arrow, Gold Experience can handle any and every stand; and with luck on Mista’s side, the Sex Pistol can handle anything too. All you’re gonna do is convince Giorno and Mista to gangbang you.
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Kuudere-Melancholic
Kuudere-Melancholic types are the most elusive darlings. Stoic and aloof, your  demeanor is already standoffish, but not as standoffish as the Tsundere-Choleric. However, you’re also mature, analytical, and paranoid, so you can see right through a Yandere’s antics. Your ability to catch early red flags helps you avoid them. Even if you do get kidnapped, your attention to detail helps you strategize a successful escape. If you’re a stand user, you wait for the right moment to use it. 
Most compatible: Fugo and Abbacchio. 
You’d piss them off, but they can respect that you have a good head on your shoulders. All the smarts in the world cant save you from Moody Blues and Fugo likes a woman who he could respect as an equal. Fugo wants an obedient darling, but having a smart darling is very important, so your escapes and disobedience will be less punished. Abbacchio will feel less paranoid about you getting hurt, so he’ll ease up on isolating you. You’ll at least be babysat by the others more often.
If you try to use your stand, Abbacchio will just get Bruno involved to remove your limbs, while Fugo can just threaten to use Purple Haze on you and your family. 
You would THINK Giorno wouldn’t mind Kuudere-Melancholic darling. He loves the Hard-To-Get Cat-And-Mouse scenarios. However, having a darling who is actually competent in leaving him is more annoying than entertaining. He’s the Don, he has shit to do, he doesn’t have time to figure out when your escape plans will happen. Also, it’s more embarrassing that the Don of Passione is constantly out-smarted by his lover. He’d much rather have a headstrong darling that he can always mock and capture with ease. However, if there’s a way he can use money/power to help you in ways no one else can, and convince you to stop resisting him, you’d be as perfect as the Tsundere-Choleric Darling.
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Deredere-Sangunine
Deredere-Sangunine types have the best social skills of the darlings. You are the darling who can change a Yandere. You are absolutely precious to your Yandere. You’re a social butterfly, good with people, charming, jovial, and CAN be manipulative as well (but most of the time, you aren’t). You’re optimistic and forgiving, so you try focusing on your Yandere’s good traits in the hopes of minimizing their flaws. If you weren’t so talkative, hyper, and scatterbrained, you’d be the ideal darling too. If you’re a smart Deredere-Sangunine, you’ll use your Yandere’s obsession with you to your benefit.
Most compatible: Bruno and Narancia
With Bruno: He appreciates that you’re grateful, and he loves spoiling his Mammina/Bambina. Your smile always puts a smile on his face. You’ll be able to talk him out of his obsession with a big family and have only 2 kids at the most (unless you actually want more). You have him wrapped around your finger. He loves that you’re very outgoing and involved with the community as he is.
With Narancia: You’re able to convince him to compromise on his clinginess. You give him puppy dog eyes and he bends to your whims. It wasn’t easy, but you convinced him to let you keep some friends, and to hang out with them whenever he’s busy hanging out with his own friends.  And you give him a lot a “goodies” for not throwing a tantrum about your social life.  Mista, to a lesser extent loves a socialite darling. However, he’s not as easily manipulated as Narancia and Bruno are; and considering that Mista loves promiscuous darlings, he’d be paranoid that all those “friends” you have are secret fuckbuddies. So for Mista, you got to prove your loyalty or be shared with his other friends.
BONUS DARLING: YANDERE
Obviously, most Yanderes would love a darling just as obsessive and loyal as they are...... EXCEPT Giorno and Mista. Why? Because they’re cheaters. They love having multiple darlings and a Yandere darling would kill the competition.
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my-emotional-self · 3 years
Text
Toxic Love Chapter 2
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Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes
Summary: Finding out your soulmates were Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes was one thing.  But when someone from your past comes back to haunt you, you have to figure out if a relationship with two super soldiers is something you really want to pursue or if you’d rather go back to your comfortable single life.
Series Warnings:  18+, Swearing, Angst, Fluff, past mentions of rape, self-harm, attempted rape, domestic violence, stalking, death threats, possible Dark!Steve?, Steve will be an asshole a LOT in this series but I don’t know how dark it will get, explicit sexual content, mental health issues, kind of A/B/O dynamics but not really (no they are not actual wolves, more like the hierarchy)
A/N: There will be no taglist for this story!  I apologize in advance!
So it was true.  Confirmed.  Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes were your soulmates.  Not that it bothered you much, it just wasn’t something you were planning on happening.  Things didn’t end too good with your last, well, and only, boyfriend.  Not ending good meaning he was in prison, at the moment. You weren’t sure when he was going to be getting out.  
Looking down at your arm, you lightly traced your finger over Steve and Bucky’s mark.  Here is the thing about your soulmate marks. Everyone has soulmate marks, at least two; yours and your soulmates.  But sometimes there are more and everyone has an ‘order’ for their marks. Think of it as a hierarchy.  The mark in top is in charge, kind of like the ‘alpha’ of the relationship while the mark at the bottom is at the bottom of the hierarchy.  It would make sense that Steve’s mark was on the top.  Hell, he was Captain America after all.  It just was the way it was and nobody complained about it.
There was also another unique trait to finding your soulmates, at least what you’ve read about. Once you find your soulmate, or in your case, soulmates, slowly you can begin to feel each other, kind of like a sixth sense or intuition.  You’d never known anyone who could actually be able to do this and you didn’t know if there had to be somewhat of a strong bond between soulmates, but you always thought that was pretty cool.  Like if something ever bad happened to you, maybe you soulmates could sense your fear. But then again, maybe that was just a fairytale.  
Lost again in your own mind, like you always were when Steve’s rough voice brought you back to the present. “Let’s sit down and talk,” he bellowed.
On shaky feet you followed him towards the couches and sat down.  Steve stood on the other side of the coffee table, his thick arms crossed in front of his chest.  Your eyes roamed over his form, mouth going dry at the sight of him.  The scowl on his face nearly made you coil back, as if his look burned you.  You were unsure why he looked so pissed, so angry and you didn’t know if you wanted to figure it out or not.  The biggest thought weighing on your mind was if you wanted to go through with a relationship at all right now, even if they were your soulmates.  
The couch dipped next to you and you couldn’t help but return Bucky’s smile.  Something about his smile made him look innocent, angelic, but you knew he was far from that.  Oh yes, you heard all about the Winter Soldier and everything those Hydra bastards did to him.  But you also knew that he was better now, he was an Avenger, fighting for the right side.
“So,” you began to say, the silence and tension thick in the air as you stared down at the ground.  
“What’s your name?” Steve barked out, causing you to jump slightly.  
A rough yet gently hand was placed at your back and you quickly realized it was Bucky’s.  “Jesus Stevie, can you be any more of an asshole right now?” came Bucky’s reply as his hand soothed up and down your back.  
He was right, Steve was being an asshole, but it was nothing, absolutely nothing compared to your ex-boyfriend.  This was a cake walk compared to him.  “Y/N, my name is Y/N,” you replied as confidentially as you could, trying to show Steve that you weren’t afraid of him or scared of his intimidating tactics.  
“Well Y/N, I’m Steve and that’s Bucky but I’m guessing you already knew that,” he replied, letting out a huff of annoyance as he looked at his watch.  “Look, I don’t have a lot of time for this right now so let’s just get to the basics,” he began.  “This is mine and Bucky’s living quarters.  There is another bedroom down the hallway if you want to move in. There is a communal kitchen and living room a few floors down that we all share, including the other soulmates. Most of the time we all eat together when possible and do movie nights at least once a week in the communal area. If you want to move in, you will also have a hobby room on the communal floor just like everybody else.  So what do you say?”
Well, it wasn’t the best speech you’ve ever heard from someone trying to get you to move in with them. Hell, your ex-boyfriend wooed you with flowers and romance for months before you finally gave in.  But this wasn’t your ex-boyfriend.  This was your soulmate, both of them, but you were still unsure.  Your own apartment was calling your name, wanting you to come back to the safety and comfort that was your home.  Did you really want to just up and move in with your soulmates?  Most people did once they met their soulmates, but you were still teetering on the fence.  This was the Avengers Tower after all and what place could possibly be more safe than that?
“Umm, can I…can I think about it?” you questioned, eyes slowly glancing up to meet Steve’s.
His large hands were on his narrow hips, his mouth in a tight line.  “Fine.  Do what you need to do.  I have to get back to work.”  And with that being said, he marched over to the elevator and slammed the button.  
You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding when Steve disappeared into the elevator, leaving you alone with Bucky.  
“Come on doll, I’ll bring you home,” he spoke with a soft voice.  
Looking to him, you smiled. “Thanks Bucky, but you don’t have to. I only live about a mile away.”
His whole body shook with a quiet laugh.  “I don’t think so.  No soulmate of mine is going to be walking the streets of New York at dark.”
~~~
The walk home was nice. Bucky was a gentleman as you asked him questions about his life growing up and being with Steve.  As it turns out, Steve and Bucky weren’t lovers, just best friends, more like brothers.  You felt embarrassed after you found that out, assuming they were together, but he reassured you it was fine and that it happens all the time.  You always assumed if there was more than one soulmate, everyone was together intimately, but now you knew that wasn’t the case.  Those with multiple soulmates didn’t mean everyone was intimate.  They could be a brother figure, a mother or father figure, or just best friends.  But you had a feeling that wasn’t going to be the case with you if you decided to give this relationship a try.  No, you could feel deep inside that things would be intimate with both men.  
“I don’t think Steve likes me very much,” you blurted out like word vomit.  
Bucky sighed next to you as the two of you stopped in front of your door.  “I know Steve wasn’t on his best behavior tonight and I apologize for that.  He’s been stressed because he keeps getting new leads about someone but it keeps falling through.  Steve can be an asshole, but he isn’t normally like that.  It was just bad timing is all.  Please be open minded about this and give it a few days.  Why don’t you come back to the tower on Friday night and we can discuss what you decide?”
Friday night was two days away.  Two days to think about everything.  “I think I can manage that,” you agreed with a small grin.  
Bucky smiled back, giving you a nod and wishing you a good night.  
In the safety of your apartment, the first thing you did was grab a glass of water and dig your medications out of your purse.  Placing the pills in your mouth, you swallowed a gulp of water and sighed in relief.
The next thing you did was take off your clothes and get into your comfies; a pair of shorts and a loose t-shirt, your favorite combination.  
Lastly, you dropped onto your bed and stared at the ceiling, contemplating what you were going to do. Yes, Steve was being a douche bag tonight, but you could handle that.  Words and attitude were easy to deal with as your ex-boyfriend was that way. But that wasn’t all.  He had turned into a violent monster and you were lucky to get out when you did; you knew for a fact you wouldn’t be alive today if you were still with him.  
So yes, you caught Steve at a bad time and he was a douchebag, but you would give him the benefit of the doubt.  Not the greatest first impression but you could get over it.  
At the same time, is a relationship, not just with one person but two, something you were really ready for?  You rather enjoyed your single life.  Going to bed when you wanted and staying up as late as you could.  There were usually rules that were enforced when it came to soulmates, especially if you were at the bottom.  Usually the ‘alpha’ of the relationship had rules they wanted their soulmate to oblige and you didn’t know how stern those rules could be.  But you hoped you could also compromise those rules if needed.  
Just then, a sheet of paper slid under your door and you rolled your eyes.  You knew what it was before you even got out of bed to grab it.
Taking the paper in your hands, you went back to your bed and opened the note.  
Payback is a bitch.  Just like you.  Ready or not, here I come babe.
-J
Rolling your eyes, you dug beneath your bed and pulled out a small box.  Inside the box sat 15 other notes just like the one you received.  It was from your ex.  John was still in prison, this much you knew, so it was a friend of his dropping it off.  But you knew you were safe, for the time being, as long as John was in prison.  He was too proud to let anyone else do the damage he had done to you.  Oh yes, he liked to do it himself and you knew he wouldn’t let anyone else hurt you, except for him.  
You had gone to the police about the notes, but because there was no actual evidence and he was still in prison, nothing could be done about it.  
As you looked over the multiple notes with the same kind of threats on each, you thought maybe perhaps it would be a good idea to move into the Avengers Tower.  At least you would stop getting these threats….right?
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syubub · 3 years
Text
May 13th Reading
Definitely long awaited and way bigger than I intended it to be so buckle up.
Funky disclaimer: this is for entertainment purposes only and not to be taken as fact! This is my interpretation of the cards!
Oh boy. The continuation of yoongis soulmate saga.
(Note frome future me: it's not proofread but I'm hungry. Sorry for mistakes!)
So so so so
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Let's start.
I started with all the normal jazz. Connecting with his energy and shit. Same as usual same old same old. Platform= same same. I was like, "hey, let's talk about your soulmate and the whole may 13th shit" and we connected via energy stringy thing to the forehead and such. I was intresting bc my end of the string was kinda my energy color! Neato. Looks like some rest has really done me good!
Okay, here's where I start actually asking shit. I made notes at this point before the reading as I usually do. I'm just gonna insert the screen shot here.
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The 14 thing really fucked me up. You'll see later. Also, when I got the whole Pisces Jupiter thing I had to do me some googling bc we established that Jupiter went into Pisces ON May 13th so I was like?? Am I missing something?
I was. I forgot that it goes retrograde and then co.es back to Pisces on December 28th. And I do indeed think it to be significant.
The shit about temperance makes a lot of sense. In yoongis first soulmate read I flipped my shit bc he was like, "You're gonna get temperance reverse" in regards to a card for his soulmate and I was like "pft whatever. Don't play me like that"
And then I got temperance reverse. It's been a significant card from the jump.
I asked him if he had any advice for his soulmate and that's what "Don't wait for big things, you'll miss the small ones that lead you to bigger things" and "Look for facts before assuming" and "Don't try pushing it, forcing it won't make sense" and "A spade is a spade/ ace is an ace" and "Don't make ill informed guesses" all were
Now this part:
"Union has happened , yet to on the physical"
Gave me some hints thankfully because he straight up said no more hints.
This ties back into the whole Jupiter thing too. The seeds are/ have been planted and now they have to grow before they can be harvested.
Well Mr. Yoongi, I'm impatient and I don't want to wait. I want to see you in love pronto.
Anyways
He showed me a little dream box/ trinket box looking thing and a super vague Keychain with no further explanation... so... there's that I guess.
I can't quite decide if "Don't make ill informed guesses" was a tongue-in-cheek pike at me or if it was genuine advice to his soulmate? He just loves to not explain things.
Now let's begin the monster read.
So. The first row of cards
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I asked the question, "what the fuck was May 13th and what was it's purpose in regards to your connection"
Important is what it was lol. I interpret this as them finding their footing and this being the starting point of the genuine foundation being layer. Like they've been manifesting eachother for a while but May 13th marked the start of them making the real life changes in their actual lives that will be the set up for them meeting.
The seven of coins is about thoughtful planning and creating security/ stable plan. The tower is essentially ripping away anything and everything that was built on unstable foundation and challenging/ testing your character (an extremely rude awakeing if you will). Judgement is releasing the past so you can rise above it and confronting yourself as you are (Also legit awakening) the queen of coins is financial security and self confidence in your abilities. Ten of coins is prosperity and abundance and most of all, stability. Eight of wands is explosion of potential and rapid movement. Temperance is awareness and balance between physical and spiritual. It's also that quiet peace where you find balance.
So. Seeing all those cards it really does seem like maybe his soulmate took on something new that could lead straight to union? Same for yoongi. I'd like to analyze and recent or new-ish habits or hobbies he's picked up?
Moving right along though. I asked what the 13th did for each of them in their personal life and personal journey. Kinda like what came as a result of that energy? Let's start with yoongles
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This was really intresting to me. I think he definitely gained some form of clarity about the situation with that sun card. The 5 of cups tells me that either he was kinda forced to confront some of his flaws in a way that he was trying to avoid or he had to consciously let go of something dear to him? Could be something he had to leave behind because it crumbled with the tower moment but he didn't see it coming or didn't know that it was time to part with it? With that queen of wands though fits beautifully with the sun! Its like he's found warmth after a long winter. Definitely found a spark of compassion and generosity from a place of happiness and love rather than anger, fear, obligation or pitty.
I asked for clarity cards/ anything else that may 13th signified bringing in and we got the 2 of cups and 10 of swords. I have two thoughts. Either he let go of a relationship that he was already in because he didn't feel as though they were particularly compatible anymore (Also ties into the above section) OR the 13th had made him very much consciously aware of his soulmates incoming status and he is now preparing and working on himself for when this person comes. The 10 of swords would be him releasing the past and the pain and any ill fitting behavior that don't vibe with him any longer. Yellow really seems to be working for him by the way.
Soulmate time
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Lol. All signs point to his soulmate genuinely starting a new venture. New creative pursuit that will bring them good money. 10 of pentacles is abundance, prosperity and stability. The ace of wands is a new creative spark and passion and it's the first big steps into something new. The 2 of wands is "the world is in the palm of your hands" vibes. Choices need to be made swiftly and with the ace of wands I think they will be. With the heirophant too, it will be a well informed decision because they've been manifesting this and has been searching for all the possible information.
As for clarity, we have the moon. Damn. Soulmates been doing that shadow work. Dredging up all their bullshit and getting rid of it while still taking the time to sit with it and release it so nothing is unresolved. Also probably extra creative due to all the emotional baggage being thrown out. (Definitely helping with the ace of wands vibes tbh)
Now for the bad boys in the middle
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The question I asked is what those individual changes (detailed in the last two sections) will bring for the bond and I just can with them. These fuckers. I am so invested in their love story bc it's so... them? And just so fucking ROMANTIC. UGH I CAN'T.
Back to the point. High priestess, 4 of wands and the lovers. The high priestess is deep knowing and insane intuition, the 4 of wands is the purest joy and marriage and the lovers is well, the lovers.a magical union.
FUCK DUDE I NEED THIS TO BE A ROMCOM.
For the row of bottom cards
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I asked if they had anything at all to add so I'm gonna explain each card individually bc I think they could be individual tid bits of shit.
Knight of coins is good news about finances/ money looking promising and organized work (also dependability!!). Death is all about transformation, the beginning of a new chapter and accepting in order to move foward. Ace of coins is spiritual and material abundance and also a reminder to keep grounded. Page of swords is confidence, important news coming and really good insight! Roots out secrets or hidden things like a truffle pig. The star is promising potential, healing and guidance from an enexpected place. The two of cups is a soul connection, love, intuition especially in regards to another person and a good bind. The emperor is self awareness, foresight, fearlessness to achieve a goal and confidence. Eight of coins rev is poor discipline and skating by on low effort.
Now to the sides!
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Yoongi is the left, soulmate is the right.
So, let's begin with yoongi. The first two cards are anything he wants to say to his soulmate. Wheel of fortune and three of swords reverse. I take this as "its all in divine time/ it's destiny" (wheel of fortune) and "trust your intuition. It's okay to get hurt, you just need to remember you can always pick yourself up" (3of swords rev.)
We have now cards that I asked what he was learning through this process/ in this time. Be positive and first step.
The last two cards are affirmations he wants to give his soulmate.
"When I introduce joy to a situation, I change the vibrational frequency of what's happening around me" and "directing my focus onto what's thriving creates more of what I want"
Now for soulmates cards (same structure)
Strength and eight of swords. "You're stronger than you think. Take every part of yourself and acknowledge it. You're a force to be reckoned with" (strength) and (soulmate snapped at him on this) "the only thing holding you captive is you."
Now we have peer pressure (I think soulmate is learning to say "fuck you" and "fuck off" to people who have a set idea of how everyone should be living their lives), emotional healing and open your arms to receiving.
Then we have "its good to feel good" (lol I feel like yoongi definitely needs this one) and "when I connect to the spiritual realm, I open the door to recieve divine guidance, clear direction, and great wisdom"
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The last stretch my friends.
So. Completion, leave behind the things that no longer serve you. Exist in the present and don't keep mulling over the past or any future happenings. Magic, pay attention to the magic around you. Listen for the signs of the universe and take them as they come (essentially listen to divine guidance) . Be open minded but logical as well. Luminous warrior, try focusing on the good in yourself instead of berating yourself for every small flaw. Spiritual path, self explanatory. The blade, your power can be a weapon when used willy nilly (most often wounding the wielder) or it can heal. Don't fear it but also consider how you choose to utilize it. The give away, be greaful for the sake of being greatful for it, not because you want something in return. The rain maker, manifestation station. Create with the tools you have because you have everything you need in order to manifest. "Don't take life personally"
Now we have heaven sent.
""Let yourself be helped" assistance is coming your way so act on it and say yes"
" This Oracle also comes with the message that you are to trust in the things that you feel and say to others without knowing why. It moves them. You might not understand, but through trust you are allowing yourself not to overthink and censor yourself. As such you are able to become a vessel through which the spiritual gift can be passed on to others. Don't block yourself. Let life happen through you. Only benefit can come from this."
And free from judgment, free to love
" If you have been asking life for a solution to a specific difficulty you have been having, this Oracle comes with the message that a solution is in gestation right now. This situation is already being sorted out and the resolution will come to fruition very soon. Hold tight and wait for the eminent birth of that resolution."
" This Oracle also brings you a message about love. You may find that you are loving, or soon will love, in a different way. You may worry about this love, given that it defies what you have known or been taught about love. Perhaps you are becoming able to love another tremendously, even though you don't have much of a personal relationship with them. You might question if this love is real. It is real Kama it is just happening at a different level to the love and attachment you experience when you are involved in a personal relationship with someone. It is not more or less, it is just a different facet of love. It may be that you are opening up to love the planet and her creatures, including the animals, the ocean dwelling life, your own body, the trees and so on, more than before period you may feel passionately purposeful about giving your time and energy to causes that protect and nurture the Earth and her creatures. You are affirmed in this love too. The universal mother is operating through you to nurture life. She will support you in your work, so that you can continue To come from love and not become drained, depleted or lost in despair or fear of futility. Instead, you will be energised and expanded by your dedicated service to life."
" Finally, this Oracle has a message for those who may be feeling alone or lonely in a need of greater nurturing from others. You are asked to stop, relax, centre and settle into your body to feel your connection with life itself. The air in your lungs is the same as the air that moves through the trees. The water in your blood is the same water that fills the oceans and is moved by the phases of the moon. The flesh of your body is the same substance as the body of the Earth itself. The heat in your digestive system is the same fire and heat as that from the Sun. Feel this connection, then do something nice for another without agenda. Make a donation, even if just a small one, smile, say a prayer, sent out a good thought or make a wish for another. That's it. You have connected to life again and in doing so, life can connect with you. And so it shall.
And that's all for the cards but but but.
Someone (either my guide or yoongi) was like, "do a song. Do a song. Do a song." And I was like, "oki doki, sounds good.
So I asked what numbers I should try refreshing and then it hit me. The number 14 came up before the reading and it seemed a bit misplaced? So I did 14 shuffles and look what popped up
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You gotta be fucking with me.
Istg these fools will actually be the death of me dude. Euphoria is so romantic and I lowkey feels like it describes a bit of what their bond must be like.
YOONGGGIIII
Anyway,
I came back to the platform to be like, "thanks homie" and it was weird bc he was practically pure energy? Like usually I visualize his energy as what his physical body looks like because it's easier to comprehend? But nope, he was just a big shimmery glob of energy.
As I was going to disconnect, a few things happened. I felt tingly and the platform was vibrating almost? So I was like, "hold on, what the fuck is this?"
And then
It hit me
"MIN YOONGI IS YOUR SOULMATE HERE??"
I could tell this fuckin asshole was smug even in his blue glob form.
The color was... blue like yoongi but also a light lavender/ pink kinda vibe. Pretty damn distinct.
I was so stoked and I thought we'd all get to chat and I could yell at his soulmate for being an elusive asshat
But Mr smug butt had different plans.
My dude dropped a little marble thing in my hand and I was like ??? And he was like, "you'll know when you need it" and I was like ?????
My guide took pity on me and said, "it's just a representation on information that you've been given but it isn't the proper time to unpack it yet"
Cool cool so like and energetic zip file that will release itself whenever it damn well pleases? Cool cool cool.
(Asshole)
Anyway, I genuinely think that my excitement of this whole situation must somehow also influence how yoongis energy handles my prodding? Like what the fuck is this marble bullshit?
To top it all off, he gives me a friendly shove off of his platform.
Thanks, buddy.
Now we are here. And as always, I'm left with more questions.
My main take away is that amay 13th through July 28th will be all the foundation and ground work and December 28th 2021 through May 10th (11th? 9th?) 2022 will be a more likely time for physical union and actual relationship stuffs.
Anyone who knows more about astrology please feel free to chime in on this whole Jupiter in Pisces bit! My understanding is super surface level!!
~~~~
That was a big boi and now my thumbs hurt real bad. Hope you were entertained by the chaos.
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