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imsociallyanxiousgetoverit · 2 years

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Fic Writer Question Meme

Thank you to @missroserose :) their post is the one I saw first

TW for all my fics! Any fic I link probably has at least one common trigger in it and at the time of writing it I may not have properly labeled it.

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How many works do you have on Ao3?

63 are published on Ao3, I believe 38 on FF, and maybe 5 on Tumblr? I have over ~1800 WIPs unpublished as some of my WIPs are published amid those websites/apps

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What’s your total Ao3 word count?

200k, uh 206,726 to be exact

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How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

uh, lemme count my folders in Notes…. a minimum of 63… Holy Crow 63 again. I’m still gonna go count the specifics too cuz some of these are huge groupings like MCU or Disney. Okay so 63 + 53 is 116 I think? So 116 fandoms? oh god wait what are they? ill make a list,,,

Fandoms I’ve Written For:

A Quiet Place, Aladdin, Alice in Wonderland, Atlantis: The Lost Empire, Barbie, Beauty and the Beast, Big Hero Six, Jump, Brave,

Cinderella (all), Encanto, Ever After High, Frozen, HTTYD, The Little Mermaid (all), Luca, Moana, RotG, Robots (2005), Sing, Tangled, The Incredibles,

Toy Story (3-4), Winx, Zootopia, The Umbrella Academy, Castle, The Flash, BTS, The Nutcracker, Subnautica, FNAF:SB, Spiritfarer, ATLA, Gravity Falls, I Am Mother,

Corpse, Cartoonz, Delirious, Irish/Spooky!Lads, Gab Smolders, LilyPichu, Micheal Reeves, Markiplier, Amy Nelson,

The Last of Us, CrankGamePlays, GassyMexican, Smii7y, Kryoz, Thomas Sanders, Julie & the Phantoms, Other Kpop, The Three Female Runaways,

Squid Game, Train to Busan, Switchcraft, Professor Layton, Undertale, Dimension 20, Power Rangers, BBC Merlin, Sanders Sides, PJO/HOO, Slugterra,

Minecraft (not mcyt), Stardew, Animal Crossing, Terraria, Ouran Highschool Host Club, Criminal Minds, Supernatural, Legend of Zelda/Linked Universe,

Danny Phantom, Doctor Who, Maze Runner, Teen Wolf, Limitless (TV), Steven Universe, Princess Debut, Sense 8, City of Ember, Bomberman R+, Arcane,

League of Legends, Overwatch, A Little Princess, Whale Rider, SCP, Edith Finch, GTFO, Scott Pilgrim, Emily the Strange,

Pitch Perfect, Spongebob, Stranger Things, The Old Guard, Tinkerbell, True and the Rainbow Kingdom, Seed, Almost Human, Aerial Magic, Fatal Frame,

The OA, The Runaways, She-Ra, Secret Society of Second Born Royals, Divergent, Voltron, MLP, Hogwarts, Firefly/Serenity,

Drake Hollow, Resident Evil, Humans are Weird, Pokemon, Good Omens, Monsters Inc/Uni, Beyond: Two Souls, Young Justice, Slime Rancher, Avengers (all), Iron Man (all), Spider-Man (all), Loki, WandaVision, Eternals,

Shang-Chi, Doctor Strange, Dead by Daylight, Don’t Starve, & more I couldnt find cuz theyre only in Crossovers lol

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What are your top 5 fics by Kudos?

1. [All Inclusive Twitter Memes]

2. [Autistic!Character Ideas & Stories]

3. [☂️👶🏻👶🏼]

4. [Standing Up Again]

5. [Night Valen in New York]

These are still pretty surprising to me. The Twitter fic is expected, so is the Autism fic, but the last three really are out of left field

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Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! Absolutely. I don’t fully know how to explain both my feelings and the psychology behind why I respond to comments; but know I’m very passionate about doing so!

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What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Phew, uh, lemme look actually cuz most Angst fics are triggering for me so I never finish them- okay so TW obviously. The angstiest ending I think I’ve ever written (I THINK) is the character revealing their c/s/a to family members

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Do you write Crossovers? If so, what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I write almost exclusively in Crossovers lmfao. I have a folder literally named Pandora’s Box where I put my fics that need multiple notes just to keep track. Lemme go find the most complex one,,,

okay so my bestie and I are working on a fic with tens of characters from VERY different places who are all villians and are attending a mental hospital (its legitimate, not a horror fic. I’ve been in one so we’re making it as realistic as we can without it being too triggering or unfun)

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Have you ever recieved hate on a fic?

I don’t know… I take a lot of criticism as hate even though it’s not so I don’t really remember the bad ones anymore. I keep comments that make me happy in my inbox for bad days.

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Do you write Smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, although I rarely post it. I’m not very good at it so it’s mostly fics about very specific kinks I’ve fantisized about and are having the characters act out in my place.

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Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don’t think so. I may have blocked it out if it did occur.

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Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, though I’m fully welcome to that.

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Have you ever co-written a fic before?

The fic I mentioned previously is my first project with someone else. I don’t write well with many people so, my bestie is really my only option.

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What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Probably “Ineffable Husbands”. I’ve felt so much comfort from canon, fanfiction, and the fandom. I learned to love my body because of fanart of Aziraphale.

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What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

It’s a fic from like 2015. I’m partially ashamed of it and partially obsessed still. I won’t describe it due to being embarrassed by it’s current state.

I do plan to try rewriting it though. Just recently I discovered it again and considered posting it as it was just to free myself from it.

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What are your writing strengths?

I really don’t know? I like to think I’m good at Titles and Summaries, but I have evidence against that. Sometimes, I feel like my crossover ideas, the links and connections I find, are very unique. I don’t even know what you’d call that besides Creativity though.

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What are your writing weaknesses?

I was gonna say the genres Angst and Smut. Then, I was gonna mention my grammar. In the end though, I think I struggle to characterize and choose one rule of logic to follow.

I’m far too logical one moment and competely uncaring of logic the next. I also project onto characters far too much sometimes. In my opinion, anyway.

If you’ve read my fics I welcome you to express what my weakness (and strength) is because I’m biased.

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What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Yes. Just, Yes. I’m currently working on a fic where the characters speak a mix of 3 dialects of Spanish and Quechua.

The fic is in English of course because I’m not fluent in any of those languages, but I’m writing songs for the fic in those languages and interspersing famous proverbs people tend to use (like “dont judge a book by its cover” but the spanish equivalent) throughout the fic

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What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Young Justice probably. I don’t remember if I wrote fanfics before I learned what it was. I imagine I may have written for Winx when I was in Elementary, but I didn’t know it was fic so i can’t recall it now

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What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh this is difficult. On FF my favorite has always been [One Death, Two Scars].

On Ao3…. godex I love these a lot: [Loss of the Wild], [Indulgence], [Secrets….Shhh], [An Unknown Chance], [Love Like You], [Father], [Atlantis: The Lost Wilds], [A Beauty, A Beast, and Some Princes], [Pidge]…. but if I have to pick One???

I really don’t know ahhh. I didn’t even include any of the WIPs… I adore [Modern Medicine], oh and [Secret Memories] oh I truly love this one, I like [What’s Left of Us] and [A Seer’s Trance] a lot… [Changed Fate] is good. I haven’t mentioned a lot of the fics I’m proud of because I’m similtaneously a little embarrassed by the current state of writing,,, but

I just love a lot of my work. I learned a time ago that every piece of work you make is valuable in your progression as a writer. To love myself, I have to love what I create, too. Well, not all of it, but I have to appreciate what the fic has done for me to grow from it.

I like [Confident In Love], [“Crossovers”] is great, [Accidental Burn] is so good, and [Brick by Brick a Family is] is definitely absolutely one of my favorites.

I have a fic just called [🌲💫🗯] that I love (actually any of my Gravity Falls fics I love probably). [Good Parenting 101] is sweet, [Subversions] is like [Indulgence] lol very self indulgent- OH and I havent even mention how many of my Stardew Valley fics for my OC Aluna are so good! Though I don’t know if I’ve ever posted them,,,, oh I also have a completely different fic called [Subversions] thats very different lmao

[Shaking] makes me happy, [Captain America: Falcon’s Call] is definitely a fic I want to finish someday, [The True Iron Legion] is ahhh I love it- okay I need to stop lol I love too many of my fics to keep listing them! I really hope you’ll check them out though,,, I love them a lot.

Nevermind, One more!!! I forgot about [정말 너무 혼란스러 (Never leave me alone)]. Oh screw it. I’m gonna keep recommending my favorites. [Heroes Endgame] is a bit dramatic but It took a lot of work to think about lol. Honestly any of my Luca fics I think are pretty good. I think [‘Ohahu Anu] is really creative. Most my Encanto fics are decent or great.

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royallyprincesslilly · 4 years

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Title: Partners {6}***

OA Zidan/Zeeko Zaki x Reader

Warning: Cursing, Fluff, Angst, Talk of Sex Trafficking, Plot, NSFW, SMUT,

ALL STARS on The NSFW Meter, DO NOT READ AT WORK

Words: 7k

Summary: You’re a damn good FBI agent in your own right. It is definitely partly to do with how well you’ve been trained and partly to do with you not letting anything or anyone distract you. You have a six-year plan that you’re fast-tracking for four. After being transferred from your office in Tampa, you’ve been sent to New York, which you’ve labeled the “big leagues.” Your first day there, after being introduced to your new partner OA Zidan you realized you’ve moved out of the frying pan right into the pot of distraction. A year later and your growing attraction for your partner still hasn’t been snuffed out.

Note: This is a first for me writing about a TV show and interjecting into it. Let’s see how this goes. I hope you guys enjoy this. As always, thank you for reading.

If you enjoyed this please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. ❤️❤️

***Loosely Edited/Proofread***

***Interactive***

Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |

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His hand gripped the nape of your neck and squeezed. It wasn’t hard enough to hurt you, but it was just enough for you to clench around him as a new gush of wetness eased his glide. Every time OA’s hips slapped against your ass, his grip would tighten then loosen as he retreated to repeat the action again and again. He knew what he was doing. This new status of your relationship was new, but he’d been paying attention to every single cue your body gave to tell him what you liked, didn’t like, and what drove you insane. When he slammed forward and rotated his hips, your reflex was to lurch forward away from him.

“Fuck,” you forcefully whispered.

“Did I hurt you?” His voice was filled with concern as he began to pull out. Gripping around him, you kept him where he was.

“No, just--.”

OA bent over your back, pressing his chest onto you before he kissed your ear.

“Can’t take it?”

His voice was so damn deep and seductive. Your belly did backflips as you turned your face to the side to look at him.

“You tell me. I thought I was taking it very well,” you countered. OA’s smile was wide before he pressed his lips to yours to passionately kiss you. Just as t, you were getting into it, he pulled his lips from you and kissed a trail down your spine.

Deciding to tease him, you winded your hips against him, eliciting a satisfied “ah” from him. Peeping back at him, he had his head dropped back with his eyes closed, enjoying the sensations your movement gave him. Slowly you began to move back and forth. You knew he was close. You’d paid close attention to the cues his body gave too. The veins bulging in his neck said he was really close. You sped up and forcefully crashed your ass onto him. It quickly turned into you chasing your release while trying to please him.

OA’s grip on your hips tightened, and you knew what was coming. He quickly pumped into you, sending goosebumps across your skin. Your moans got louder, and soon, you were calling his name louder and louder until your release took over. OA groaned and slammed into you with four staggered thrusts. That was when your knees gave out. OA dropped back onto the bed, taking you with him to cuddle up to your back.

“To think we almost missed out on this,” OA said before he kissed your shoulder blade.

You let his words sink in as you snuggled closer. You couldn’t get close enough.

“Was there a time when you almost--,” you paused, trying to find the word.

“Pushed you into an office or an alley and kissed you?”

You snorted. “I guess.”

“There were a few times. Do you remember the hostage case? We got the perp in integration, and you took the lead, I remember watching in the other room and the way you got into his head and flipped every single notion he had and reason he had to protect the other guy had my jaw dropped. Then when he sang like a canary, I couldn’t believe it. I went in after they’d taken him, and I was so close,” OA confessed.

“What stopped you?”

“The cameras.”

You busted out laughing with him joining in. Slowly it dawned on you what your reality was, and you got silent.

“Are you thinking about it?”

“About what?”

“You know what,” OA pressed as he kissed your neck.

He smelled so good you doubted you’d ever want to be too far from him. Even that thought had you rolling your eyes.

“Thinking about the fact that this is against every rule? Or thinking about the fact that if anyone finds out about this, then there will be consequences? Or thinking about--.”

OA rolled on top of you and pressed your hands above your head, stopping your words.

“I don’t care about the rules or the consequences.”

You didn’t know how he could even say that. He’d worked his ass off to get where he was today. He’d put up with an incredible amount of shit to be the agent he was. How could he be so ready for it to be for nothing? The way he stared at you said he saw the panic in you. Biting your bottom lip, you pushed against his hands, finding little to no resistance. You cupped his bearded jaw and brought his head to you and kissed him.

You got enveloped in the kiss and rolled onto him. You decided to focus on here and now with him. You wanted to enjoy him fully without any nagging thoughts of what reality held for you come Monday morning or even beyond. Neither of you was going to put voice to the things you knew about the dangers of you getting entangled.

You awoke to the soft sound of a sitar and the aroma of cinnamon, nutmeg, cardamom, and other spices that screamed comfort. As you stretched, you noted how sore your muscles were. You climbed out of bed and threw on your robe then walked toward the music. You had no idea what time it was, but it was still light outside. When you rounded the corner, there was OA in your kitchen in nothing but his boxer-briefs cooking up a storm.

It was a beautiful sight, one you were not accustomed to. He was the first man to grace your apartment, let alone your kitchen and bed. Slowly you let your eyes drink in every inch of his beautiful skin. He was perfect. You got lost in your thoughts and gawking over him that you didn’t realize he’d turned around and was doing some gawking of his own. OA cleared his throat loudly, bringing your eyes to his.

“Yeah, you’ve been caught.”

Embarrassment filled you as you covered your face. “No, don’t hide. Own what a pervert you are.”

You laughed loudly, then glared at him.

“Come on, the price for voyeurism is a dance.”

“Oh no, I can’t dance to this,” you protested.

“Lies. Remember when we all went to that Egyptian place, and everyone had a turn with dancing?”

You slapped yourself in the head because you did remember. You had the guts to get up and dance that night.

“You held your own. I remember those moves. Come on,” OA coaxed.

Rolling your eyes because you knew he would never let it go, you walked to him and took his outstretched hands then began moving your hips to the beat the best you could. As soon as you found your rhythm, the music picked up, and OA was leading you around the kitchen in a traditional and modern mix of an Egyptian dance. In no time, you got into it and tapped into your inner belly dancer. When OA pulled up behind you, you rolled your hips then circled them before you jerked them to the beat. The two of you dance around the kitchen together, having a great time. The song was a really good one; you couldn’t lie.

By the end of it, you and OA were laughing together while he hugged you to him.

“See, you’d fit right in. my aunts would love you.”

That sounded serious. Your eyes met, and both of you realized it then. He kissed your nose, then your forehead enhancing the intensity of the moment.

“It smells incredible. What’re you making?”

“Mm, lunch, kofta, or meat on a stick it’s a beef kabab, a red lentil soup, and Aish Baladi, which is a flatbread,” OA listed.

“Wow. You cooked all of this?”

“Yes. I can cook.”

“Wow. I had no idea. I thought in your culture it was all about finding a beautiful wife who could make all of this for you,” you teased. His adorable dimples broke out.

“Yeah. If you ask my umi, then yes, that is what a textbook good wife would be able to do. If you ask me, though, I’d like to spoil my woman.” He kissed your cheek and carried a trail to your neck.

“Oh, I bet you would.” a giggle escaped you as he nibbled your skin.

“Come on, gorgeous, let me feed you,” OA said as he walked away but not before he dropped a slap to your ass.

He gathered plates and utensils as you pried even more into the pots curiosity getting the better of you. When OA realized it, he ushered you away from the pots and put the dishes in your hands, prompting you to set the table that was in the kitchen by the window. For the next few minutes, you worked in silence, him finishing the details on lunch and you making the table presentable. It all felt so domestic and normal like it wasn’t strange that the two of you had just fallen into this situation. It felt like you’d been doing this the entire year.

OA served you filling your plate with kofta and Aish Baladi before he filled your soup bowl with lentil soup. The scents melded together so nicely that you could not wait to taste his handiwork.

“I’m so hungry.”

“I bet. What else do you expect after having sex on every inch of this place?”

Your jaw dropped at the call out. “It takes two to tango, thank you very much,” you countered. OA smiled widely. When he sat, you went for your utensils but stopped.

“We say prayer right?”

OA smiled, showcasing those enviable dimples again. “Ideally.”

“Okay, come on. Show me.”

You watched what he did and mirrored him exactly. With his hands held out palms up, he closed his eyes and said a quick prayer in Arabic that you did your best to repeat the look on his face said he was impressed. Once he was finished, you waited for him to continue. The way he looked at you had you ready to blush.

“After you,” he insisted. You took up your kofta and bit into it, moaning as the spices hit your taste buds.

“My goodness, this is really good.”

“My mother’s recipe.”

The two of you ate and joked together like you’d done this every since day since you’d met. He told you more about his family, which included his headstrong sisters, who he worried most about constantly. As he spoke about them, you could see how much he loved them and his entire family. Your mother told you that if you were going to settle down with anyone, make sure they loved their family above everything else. It was clear he loved them this much. He asked about your family, and you told him, finding it easier to open up to him now than it had been any time before.

It was as if you thought if he didn’t know too much about you, it would keep him at a distance. Like the line would somehow be crossed if you told him about your childhood and your friends back in Miami. It was ridiculous thinking about it now, especially since you’d jumped over that line in a way that could not be ignored. You liked this side of him. He looked perfect, sitting shirtless, eating his childhood favorites, and talking about the things that made him happy. Listening to him made you happy.

When both of you’d stuffed your bellies to damn near capacity, you found yourselves in the bathtub making out like a couple of horny teenagers who’d just discovered sex. When kissing got too hot, and both of you became too flustered, OA would showcase just how good he was with his hands. He massaged every inch of you, dissolving every knot in your body. With your back to his chest and you seated between his legs, he kissed your skin and whispered nothing but the sweetest words that a girl could easily get used to.

After a bath, you sat in the living room with the intention of watching something on TV. Those intentions quickly changed. Neither of you could keep your hands off of each other. Neither of you could go longer than five minutes without giggling or making some form of contact, whether it being eye, or physical. You felt like a schoolgirl who was head over heels with the popular guy in school that was showing her she meant the world to him.

For the tenth time you tried to focus on the TV and not his scent that refused to stay on his side of the couch or the sight of his colossal thighs spread next to you. his lap looked like the perfect seat and his face like the only throne you’d ever need.

“Fuck it,” OA grunted before he pounced you, to your delight.

In seconds you both were naked yet again with your arms wrapped around his neck, and his lips fastened to yours. He kissed you with meaning like you were the beginning and the end for him. You matched him emotion for emotion, desperation for desperation. You were practically obsessed with the way he tasted, and it hadn’t even been seventy-two hours yet. As he kissed you, your hand slowly trailed down his chest and torso, pressing every slope and dip to memory. If temptation and hedonism were a person, he would be it. In a matter of minutes, OA was nestled snugly in your heat, completely filling and stretching you.

His slow and deep thrusts brought goosebumps to your skin and sucked the oxygen right out of your lungs. The soft music in the background set the perfect tone for the sultry transference you were engaged in.

“I don’t think I can ever get enough of you,” OA groaned out as he thrust into you at the most torturous speed. You felt every single inch of him as he stretched you.

“Ever?”

“Ever. Uuugh, jeez!” OA rotated his hips, making you moan loudly as your back arched off the couch.

“Mmm, you drive me crazy, you know that,” OA panted before thrusting forward again stroking that part of you that instantly sparked your body to come alive in a hyperactive state of arousal, making you again arch your back. You reached out needing to touch him in some way, but with one of his hands, OA grabbed yours and pinned them to the back of the couch, trapping you.

You didn’t know how it was possible, but that one action made you want him even more than you already did. His thrust stayed at the same pace. He languidly stroked into you softly, commanding your body to do whatever he wanted. If he wanted it to overheat, all he had to do was rotate his hips to touch spots in you that you didn’t even know you had. If he wanted to steal your breath and have your soul leave your body, all he had to do was fill you to the hilt. The man knew what he was doing, and it showed in everything he did. His kisses were not kisses of an amateur. They were kisses of a grown man, a man who knew how to listen to and follow the cues of a woman’s body.

Every time you tried to move from his grip, OA stopped and waited for you to settle down. When you refused, you’d stare into his eyes, trying to convince him to let you go or speed up, but OA was in no mood to listen. His one goal seemed to be to drive you insane. OA stared down at you with his bottom lip hooked in his mouth and intense eyes penetrating you so profoundly you were sure he could see the contents of your soul. He retreated, leaving just a just the tip of his intrusion. You bucked against him, trying to get the friction you needed.

OA used his free hand to hold your waist, stopping your feeble attempts to use his body for your own pleasure, then stroke full speed ahead, sending your breasts jerking. Your gasp was loud, and the clench around him tight, so tight his groan was long. Using his weakened state against him, you pushed him to the side, flipping him to the couch. Before he regained control, you straddled, putting him right where you wanted him. You pressed your hands on his chest for brace as your body rolled through the pleasure.

“Not so strong now, huh?”

OA smiled through his pleasure, then licked his lips, tempting you more. “You found my weakness and took advantage,” he teased.

“And what weakness is that Special Agent Zidan?” You slowly rolled your hips and fought the urge to moan. He felt so good.

OA’s hands gently gripped your waist when you began taking control of his pleasure. What began as slow rolls of your hips turned into energetic circles that had no reason to them but to make him shout your name. Every so often, you slowed it down, never allowing him to predict your next move. With every roll and buck of your hips, OA’s jaw dropped more and more while his eyes rolled back further and further.

When you began bouncing on him, his curses began, but they remain strangled in his throat.

“I can’t hear you,” you teased, speeding up your bounce. Every time you dropped back onto him, you forcefully did it hard enough that a shiver rushed through you. OA’s hands moved from your waist to your hips to hold you. As soon as they squeezed, you stopped.

“Uugh, please don’t stop.”

“Keep your hands on the back of that couch, or I will leave you to finish this yourself,” you warned.

The look in his eyes screamed defiance, while the smirk on his lips said he liked this side of you. As he bit his bottom lip, he slowly removed his hands to grip the back of the couch. The way the cushion sunk underneath the pressure of his hand said he was holding it dangerously tight, showing you just how close he was to flipping you back over to show you just who was stronger.

OA slid his body a little lower, so his back was angled and neck tilted downward.

“Such a good boy,” you coaxed with a cocky smile as you began to bounce on him again only this time, starting from the beginning with slow teasing swirls of your hips. After circles, you rolled them in a figure eight; after that, you combined the two until you gradually sped up.

You loved the sounds he made. He was not shy about letting you know just how good you were making him feel. Every change you made, his back arched. Every time you clenched around him, his grip tightened, sending all the veins in his arms bulging.

“What is your weakness, Omar?”

The clench in his jaw said he liked the way you said his name. In truth, you liked the way it felt. Swirling your hips against him, you expected him to cave—he did not.

“Won’t tell me?”

OA bit his bottom lip and dropped his head back, giving you perfect access to his neck. Hovering over his chest, you licked across his Adam’s apple along his skin, collecting the droplets of sweat that littered his skin. Once at his neck, you bit the flesh and sucked it into your mouth. OA groaned again before he brought his head back down to capture your lips and claim them as his. From the beginning, the kiss was erotic and blazing hot. Your tongues danced together; when yours twisted around his, he sucked on yours controlling who had the power. You’d always suspected he was a tease, and he was showing you just how much of one he was. His kisses did what they always did, made you dizzy, and distracted, making you almost forget what you were trying to do—almost.

You quickly pulled away from him and went to his ear. “Nice try. My interrogation practices are undefeated,” you whispered before you gently nibbled his ear. You intended to slip away, but OA was quicker. He pulled you to him and kissed you stupid, stepping his game all the way up. You were so open for him that you didn’t care who took control.

“You forget who I am,” OA gruffly spoke with your faces mere centimeters from each other.

“And you seem to not know who I am,” you countered, clenching around him again. OA sucked in a sharp breath as his eyebrows knitted together. “Put them back,” you ordered drunk off the power you possessed. You knew if he genuinely wanted to, he could have flipped you onto the couch and had you screaming “fuck me” in the six languages you were conversational in.

OA groaned but didn’t obey right away; instead, he nudged his hips up, thrusting into you to remind you just how good he could make you feel. One thrust was more than tempting enough to give in, but you didn’t become who you were by caving at the first sign of pressure. OA’s smile was playful as he put his hands back onto the back of the couch.

Fully drunk off of the power you held, you got lost in the music playing and teased him mercilessly. OA’s eyes never left you and your body. He watched you as if you were the best show he’d ever seen. You knew what he wanted without him saying a word. When he wanted you to go fast, you went slower. When his eyes pleaded with you to bounce, you bucked. After a few minutes, he looked to be on the verge of taking what he wanted to hell with you giving it. You didn’t know if you were more excited at that prospect or afraid. As you sped, you locked eyes with him.

“What’s your weakness?”

He was close to cracking, you could tell, but instead of telling you, he remained silent. You braced your hands on his torso and wildly rode him determined to make him speak. OA’s moans tumbled from him one after the other. The setting sun shone through the window and bathed your skin in its glow, highlighting the sweat that decorated your bodies. Your own orgasm was quickly creeping up on you, and you weren’t sure who would crack first. Once you thought it, OA slid further down the couch until it was just his back on the seat, and that was when his hips rose to meet you in one quick thrust.

His thrust came one after the other until he was pummeling into you. As you panted, the whine in your voice got louder and louder until you were damn near breathless. With one hand, OA gripped your hip steadying you so he controlled your body and controlled just how deeply he delivered your pounding. His other hand sank into the hair at the nape of your neck, pulling your head back just enough to tell you that you were at his mercy now.

Any control either of you possessed before was gone. Both of you were moaning and grunting at the top of your lungs, not caring who heard or who had a problem with how loud you were. The pleasure you felt was all-consuming and maddening all at the same time. You frantically chased your release just as fiercely as OA chased his.

“You!” OA’s shout was sudden. “You’re my weakness, Y/N. You make me weak,” he confessed in a rush.

No words had ever held more power than those from him to you. You bucked against him in no coherent fashion, as if you were riding a mechanical bull. He met your movements with his own penetrating thrusts, which only propelled you more forcefully into the orgasmic cloud that was so close to you.

Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock.

Ignoring the faint sound, you remained in the bubble of sensual pleasure the two of you were wrapped in. The knocking persisted and even got louder. Soon it was too loud to ignore; your body fell out of sync with his, and your movements staggered and clashed with his. OA’s frustration was evident with his loud grunt.

“Hold that thought,” you panted out, trying to catch your breath. You stood sliding off of his length. Glistening, it bobbed in the air between you, distracting you. OA brought his hand to it and slowly stroked himself.

“This thought?”

You smiled and fell for the trap. You slid back onto him, throwing your head back, relishing in the complicated mix of pleasure and a dull ache that only he could produce. You rocked back and forth several times, forgetting the knocks and ringing of the doorbell. You tried to focus only on him, and just when both of you were finding your synchronized stride, the doorbell obnoxiously rang back to back.

“Fuck!”

OA’s frustration over the interruption had you giggling. He shot you a warning look.

“I guarantee you won’t be laughing in a little while,” he promised before he pumped up into you, making you whimper. He didn’t stop with one stroke; he did it again and again. Just when you were going to hover over him, another knock came from the door.

Knock, knock, knock, knock.

Both you and OA kissed your teeth in annoyance. Sighing, you stood from him and swung your leg over him, ready to find your robe. When you bent to retrieve it, OA dropped a heavy-handed slap to your ass, which had you biting your bottom lip ready to leave whoever was at the door there for however long it took for you to get yours.

“Get rid of em’—quick,” OA instructed.

You smirked, “Oh, have plans, huh?”

With a smirk of his own, he nodded, “A few and they involve several of your body parts.”

You gasped and pressed your hand to your chest. “Agent Zidan!”

OA smiled and watched you tie the robe around you before you walked from him down the hall to the door. Forgetting to look at the video feed of your front door, you opened it with a lazy smile to see Kristen.

“Kristen!”

Like cold water, your sex induced haze dissipated, leaving you wide-eyed.

“I’ve been knocking and ringing for like three minutes. What’re you doing in there?”

You pulled the door closer behind you blocking her view. “What’s happening?”

“Nothing. What’s up?” You tied to look as calm as possible. “Why’re you here?”

Kristen studied you for a few moments, then looked to your attire, and her face lit up. “Do you have a guy in there?”

“What? No. It’s nothing. I was—resting,” you lied.

“With the screams and shouts, I heard that’s doubtful.”

You pinched your lips and tried to remain collected to not give anything away.

“What’s going on?”

“I’ve been trying to get in touch. Did you hear OA is okay?”

“Yeah. I saw the message briefly before I fell asleep. I’ve been trying to catch up on some sleep,” you expertly lied.

“Well, everyone’s been called to assemble at the JOC. We couldn’t reach you or OA for that matter. I said I’d come by and grab you,” Kristen informed.

“Wow, I haven’t heard from him. He’s gotta be resting after what he’s been through.”

Kristen nodded, accepting your guesses.

“Yeah. So do you wanna change?”

You grabbed the collar of the robe and nodded. “Yeah. I’m gonna grab a shower too. I’ll meet you at HQ,” you said.

“Sounds good. You should hurry, it’s Sunday, and it sounded urgent,” Kirsten finished.

“Got it! Thanks, Kristen.”

You smiled at her as she began walking away. You wanted to make sure she was actually leaving. When you were sure, you walked back into your apartment and locked the door. When you walked back into the living room, the first sight of OA still laying there with his member still out and so damn inviting had you forgetting Kristen’s words.

“You and I have very different definitions of quick,” OA teased. “Come here.” He stroked himself a few times, reigniting the flame within you that the impromptu visit had doused.

“God, you look so tempting.”

“Let me tempt you then,” OA coaxed. You whined and watched him stand and walk to you. Once before you, he easily lifted you into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist and moaned when you felt his giant hands grip your ass to hold you onto him.

“We gotta go, that was Kristen, we’ve been summoned,” you informed. OA didn’t look phased.

“They can wait a little longer,” he whispered before he sheathed himself in your soaping core.

Both of you released a satisfied sigh as if there was nowhere in the world, either of you would rather be. OA took the lead and moved your body as he wished. He began slowly stroking into you, using his lower half as a wave reaching depths inside of you that had you whimpering as you held him to you. When you whimpered, he mewled. When you clenched around him, he slammed into you, holding you steady so you felt every inch of him.

It didn’t take long for either of you to be at the precipice of your undoing. You felt the wall at your back, and that was when OA hammered into you with the speed of a roadrunner. In seconds you shouted out as your orgasm overtook you and pulled you so deep in the sea of gratifying pleasure that you didn’t care if you drowned in it. Long minutes passed with both of trying to catch your breath and regain your strength. Once you did, OA brought you both to the shower, where you washed each other, trying your best not to get lost in each other yet again.

After a shower, OA dressed and reluctantly left you. It took him several attempts to get through the door, thanks to his sticky fingers trying to get you back into the bed or on the couch or even against the wall. His will was strong, and you were finding you were so corruptible when it came to him. Once he was gone, it took you some time to come down from the thirteenth cloud you were on. You kept replaying the last near forty-eight hours and everything that happened and all that you felt. Needless to say, it was challenging to get your head out of the clouds and back into professional mode.

By the time you made it to the JOC, it was almost an hour and a half since Kristen had stopped by. You did your best to hammer into your head to act as if everything was the same, and nothing had changed. When you walked into the office, you politely smiled at everyone and greeted them as you made it to your desk.

“Y/N, wonderful you were able to join us,” Isobel shouted out, acknowledging your presence. “Any idea where OA is?”

“No, no clue.”

“Here, here, sorry. I’m here,” OA called out as he pushed through everyone to show his face. You kept your eyes forward, not confident you could keep the smile off your face.

“Glad that you’re feeling well enough to join us, OA,” Isobel began. “Are you sure you don’t need more time to rest and recuperate?”

“No. I’m feeling better than ever. Saturday was just what I needed.” OA replied.

You couldn’t help but smirk then. Pressing your lips together, you tried to stop the giggle that threatened to escape. You peeped over to him to see he was also smirking.

“All right. Great work with that bomb, OA. Next time you’re feeling like being the hero, don’t we’d rather have you here with us than watching over us from the great beyond,” Jubal said. You glanced at OA and gave him a stubborn look that was a warning for the next time he wanted to be an idiot. OA smiled and nodded.

Jubal walked to the front of the JOC, where all the screens were signaling he wanted everyone’s attention. “So normally we don’t do Sundays, but this is urgent. New Dawn Bringers, otherwise known as NDB, have been found to have a connection with a serious trafficking cult that the FBI has been trying to lock down, The Rose Vortex. SVU has been running an operation. They have one of their own inside as we speak,” Jubal informed. He walked to a computer and tapped Ian on the shoulder who brought visuals on the screens before you.

“As of twelve hours ago, she’s gone quiet. We’ve also heard chatter that leadership in NDB is coming to town, and that means they need to be entertained. We have the big bosses, and we want them all,” Jubal finished.

“Okay, sounds good. What’s our play?” Jubal pointed at Kristen, acknowledging her question.

“We have an inside man who says they are getting a new shipment of eh-em, women,” Jubal added.

“What’s our in?”

Isobel and Jubal looked at each other with your question. After looking at them for a few seconds, your alarm slowly rose.

“Uh, why are you guys looking at me?”

Isobel cleared her throat and stood from her partially seated position. “You’re our in,” she announced.

OA sat up in his seat. “How?” You caught the controlling tone in his voice.

“I’ve read your file, Y/N. In Miami, you went undercover with--,” Isobel began before you cut her off.

“The Mantiago Cartel, yeah. It was a week at a sketchy—sex—club,” you slowly finished catching on.

“Yes, a well-known club that serviced that cartel. You got in with the leader and were integral in taking him down. The plan is to get you in with that shipmen to get into the cult,” Isobel informed.

“Absofuckinglutly not!”

All eyes flew to OA. No one spoke, everyone was in too much shock, you included.

“Let’s talk in my office,” Isobel coolly replied as she took a few steps in that direction.

“It doesn’t matter if we talk here or there, the answer is still no,” OA declared.

“OA!”

When he looked at you, he saw the alarm in your eyes. He took a breath and rubbed his goatee around his lips down to his beard. You stood and walked ahead to Isobel’s office. You filed in first, then Isobel, Jubal, and finally, OA. Once the door closed, Isobel was the first to speak.

“Okay, Agent Zidan, take a breath,” she cautiously began as if giving him a nonverbal reminder of who he was. “The plan is simple; Y/N will infiltrate the shipment. Once at the cult location, you will locate the SVU agent and assess the situation. Your objective is to get the bosses into a compromising position for us to bring them in and nail their asses to the wall to give us the win,” Isobel explained.

“While bringing in whatever intel you can on NDB,” Jubal added.

“No. You want her to go undercover as a trafficked sex slave, and before you tell me don’t know what’ll happen, yeah, we do. These women are kidnapped, brutally and violently broken in, then drugged up to be pimped out. There is no way we’re letting Y/N in that,” OA finalized.

“OA, we understand, but she’s had experience with this. I am confident in her ability and skill to get in, find the agent and accomplish the objective,” Isobel reasoned. “Y/N, what do you say?”

You looked between Isobel and Jubal, who waited each with different expressions on their faces. You could feel the death rays from OA beside you. When you looked at him, the look was worse than you expected. He looked at you expectantly. He expected you to say no.

“I can do it. It’s not a big deal,” assured. OA rolled his eyes, clenched his jaw, then turned his back to you.

“All right, we’ll get you up to speed. Let me say this, as a woman I know what I am asking you, I know the danger and risk this will put you in but I am one-hundred percent sure that this is not more than you are capable of,” Isobel slid in with a warm smile before she walked out of the room.

Before you could say anything to him, OA was bolting out the door too. Jubal put the files in front of you. he looked as if he had a question to ask, but instead, he nodded and patted your shoulder. “We have you, Y/N,” he said before he walked out of the office.

The next two hours passed with you drilling yourself, trying to memorize everything in the files. With your head on the task at hand, it didn’t mean that you didn’t see OA every time he stalked past the room with the sourest expression on his face. You knew he was pissed, and it bothered you. His worry wasn’t unwarranted. He was right going undercover like this was dangerous, especially seeing how dangerous and racist the NDB was that danger was increasingly greater.

When you got up to stretch your legs, you saw him at his desk. As you approached, you tried to act as normal as possible. Once beside him, you inhaled his scent, one of his favorite things.

“Think you can quiz me?”

The look he gave you was an incredulous one that said you were crazy. “No, thanks.”

“OA, come on. Let’s talk,” you whispered. OA sighed and looked around him, accessing the number of eyes on you.

“Fine.”

“Conference room at the end of the hall,” you instructed before you walked off, making a pit stop in the office to gather the files.

Once inside the conference room, you paced the room, walking around the table. Almost eight minutes passed before the door opened, and OA walked in. He stood beside the door with you, standing across the room where the projector was. You stared at each other, neither wanting to concede. At the same time, you both walked around the conference table to meet in the middle. Once before each other, you sighed when you saw the tight clench of his jaw.

“Come on, Omar.”

OA groaned and went soft. “Of course, you’d use my name at a time like this.”

“You’re being unreasonable,” you continued.

“Me? Y/N, this is a sex trafficking ring, a racist one. This is too dangerous, and you know it.”

“No, you know what I know is I've done this before. Neither is the less evil. If this were a week ago, you wouldn’t be acting like this, and you know it,” you breached.

OA sighed again and dropped his head back. “Are you saying I’m acting worried for your safety because—,” he began.

“Am I wrong?”

OA didn’t speak for almost a minute before he sat on the conference table, leaving you to stand there waiting. He rubbed his face and mumbled something that you didn’t catch.

“Yes, you’re wrong. If it were a week ago, I’d still object. I would still feel the same way I do now, about the case and you.”

You stared at each other again. He reached out and pulled you between his legs to him. “There are so many ways this can go bad, so many ways you can get hurt, and I won’t be there. I’m—I’m scared.”

Your heart melted at his admission. OA scoffed.

“I’m fucking scared, and I don’t know what to do about it. I have no control here. If it’s you and me out there, then there is some control, with this--.”

You gripped his jaw and made him look at you. “I get it,” you whispered. OA sniffled and clenched his jaw in that control freak trying to keep his impulses internal way that you’d fallen in love with. You couldn’t help but kiss him even though it was a bad idea, especially considering where you were right now. OA kissed you back, letting it remain slow and tender.

You pressed your forehead to his then sighed as you pulled back to look at him. “We can’t let our fears get in the way of the job. You know that,” you whispered. OA nodded.

“I know, I know, but you’re more than the job now, Y/N. This is more, and no matter if we wanted to just leave things unspoken or not, it is still something. Friday night meant something, Saturday meant something, a few hours ago—that meant something. You’re not just my partner anymore,” OA finished.

He was right; the dynamics of your relationship had now changed. You’d crossed a line, and professional was not what this was anymore. It was something more. Something that neither of you had discussed for whatever reasons, but you both knew you would have to have the discussion. Now was not the time, though.

“OA, this is happening. I can’t be distracted in there. I can’t have you in the back of my head worrying that you’re not okay with this, that you don’t have my back in this.”

“You’re kidding, right? Y/N, I always have your back; I will always have your back. Yeah, I don’t agree with this op, and I wish that you would reconsider, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have your back with it. Your back, my back, we got that.”

You nodded and dropped your forehead to his chest to release a relieved breath. You desperately needed to hear those words, and you hadn’t realized how desperately until now. OA kissed the top of your head.

“I’m going to do whatever necessary to make sure you come home to me. Whatever it takes,” OA finished.

You locked eyes with him seeing the vehemence of his declaration radiating from them.

For the next hour, OA drilled you on the contents of the folder and helped you do what he did best, get your head in the game.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!*** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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#partners fic #oa zidan #oa zidan fanfiction #fbi fanfiction #oa zidan x reader #oa zidan x you #oa zidan x black reader #black fanfiction #angst fanfic #oa zidan smut

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lightneverfades · 5 years

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Emerge (Frostiron AU ficlet) / Post-Avengers End Game

Warning: Major Spoilers for Avengers: End Game! Do NOT read further if you haven’t watched the movie yet!

Summary: What if...

Summary: ... when Tony dies in his timeline, he wakes up in an alternate reality of himself where he had just defeated Loki and his Chitauri army in 2012? In the process, he realizes that he has another chance with the god he thought he lost five years ago? What will he do, knowing his choices may alter a fixed timeline that will ultimately save or bring about Loki’s untimely demise?

Note: This fic was inspired by The OA (if you haven’t watched it, I won’t spoil the premise here! Just watch, it’s a brilliant show!)! Not too sure if I’ll continue this, considering I have a limited amount of time these days, but I had to write down this muse after it occurred to me yesterday. You can tell I’m still a little in denial, haha! Anyways, hope you like it!

P.S. - Since Tony was in a long relationship with Loki, he isn’t with Pepper and therefore Morgan, unfortunately, doesn’t exist in this fic. Was very tempted to put them in here, but I just want Tony to be with Loki in this one, lol.

Music: Genesis and The Other Side by Ruelle

“ They say the end is the beginning. Well, that’s exactly what happened.

I was given another lifetime, a different timeline. Another chance… to save him.

To save Loki. From himself. From death.

From Thanos.”

Tony gasped as he felt the breath he had lost only moment ago rush back into him again, like a jolt of lightning bursting through his body, within his lungs, forcing him awake and bringing him back from the depths of darkness. He opened his eyes, the world a white blur of light.

Was he… dead?

But then Tony can feel the wind on his face, taste ash on his tongue. His vision started to focus and he was staring up at… blue skies? His body wasn’t numb… broken… unlike his last moments with his team, watching over him with tears in their eyes. The power he had felt when he held those stones and snapped his fingers. It had torn him apart…

Where am I…? Tony thought with confusion. He blinked a little more, his eyes starting to focus on familiar faces that looked down at him. Steve. Thor. Banner…? But they looked different… younger. Less wrought by time.

He tried to speak, but his throat burned with the effort, feeling as if he had inhaled fire. And now his body can actually feel pain, an indication that he was very much alive. Actually, it ached like hell, as if he had just fallen from a great height.

Wait.

“Year…?” Tony managed to rasp out, and Steve’s face, so young and full of relief now, furrowed a little in confusion.

“It’s 2012. Tony, we gotta get you to the medic. You just barely got out alive.”

2012! Tony’s eyes widened in shock. What happened? Why was he alive? He was dead, or he thought he was. How could he possibly be alive?

And then it occurred to him.

That final wish that crossed his mind before the final task.

Tony had wanted to destroy Thanos and his army… That had been his main goal for stealing those stones from Thanos, before history was close to repeating itself. Doctor Strange’s single glance indicating that this was the only possible solution for everyone’s survival made it clear.

But more than anything, Tony had hoped he would be with Loki after he was dead. His Loki...

The god he lost in the war to the mad Titan.

Tony could still remember the day vividly when Thor told him how his brother had died, knowing full well that Tony had been Loki’s lover. Well, the whole team knew. They’ve known for years since Loki actually saved the Avengers numerous times (from Ultron, or from himself, really) and tolerated his presence after they found out the truth about why Loki had come to wreak havoc on Earth. Of course, Loki hadn’t really informed the team that he was in Midgard to atone for his crimes (although Tony was the only one he knew).

“My brother… Loki… He is dead.”

He hadn’t been able to sleep well since that day. Those five years since Thanos had won had been absolute torture. No matter how many years passed, he couldn’t move on. The what if’s and missed moments came to haunt him, reminding him of a life that he could have had with Loki. It isolated him.

In a way, Tony understood how Clint felt when his whole family had been turned to dust.

When Tony had held that gauntlet, that final chance at making Thanos pay for what he had done, he did it with fury coursing through him. His sorrow of Loki’s death, the lost moments he could never get back with the god, brewed as a maelstrom of emotion within him. He knew that if he did the deed, he would die. But knowing that had almost given him a sense of peace in a way.

What was the point of living if he didn’t have anyone left to care for? He had no family except the team, which he cared for deeply. They were the ones he had to keep alive, and if that meant his impending death was going to end all suffering and undo all the hurt that Thanos had caused, then he would gladly do it. The satisfaction of seeing Thanos die by his hand had been enough for him to finally pass on in peace. That, and the hope that he’d be able to see Loki again.

And now here he was… alive and back in 2012, where it all began.

Loki, also alive and well, oblivious of the impending future.

But why 2012?

“Stark, I love you… No one else.”

“You and me both, Lokes.”

“Tony… Tony! Are you okay?”

Tony felt himself being shaken awake again, and he realized he was falling asleep a little. His body felt so exhausted suddenly as if this new state he was in and the knowledge of the future he had was sapping him of energy.

He nodded groggily. Tony felt Steve wrapping an arm around his chest so that he was standing supported by the Captain. He wasn’t really focused as much as he blindly followed out of the rubble of New York City. He heard the blaring sound of the ambulance and the smoke that rose from the destruction that the Chitauri, and inevitably the Avengers, had caused.

“We’re getting you some help, alright? The medics will be here, and we’ll take care of Loki. You get some rest—“

As soon as Tony heard the god’s name, he struggled, “No! I have to come with you. I’m fine, really. See!”

Tony tore away from Steve, to prove he could stand on his own. He managed, barely, willing himself not to fall. Steve looked at him with concern, a small frown emerging and Thor raised his eyebrow a little as well. But then the thunder god wrapped his arm around Tony’s shoulder, stabilizing the man’s wavering footing with an encouraging laugh.

“The Man of Iron wants to see this through to the end! Let us go then, I will take you!” Thor boomed, eager to help. Tony couldn’t help but smile; it’s been a while since he’s seen Thor so stable and happy, unlike the one he knew in his future. The thought of seeing Thor lose everything, of knowing what was going to pass, pained him.

“Thor, wait- Tony, I get it, you want to be the one to see Loki get put away in chains. But I don’t think now’s the right time-,” Steven started but Tony shook his head, determined to get his way.

“I need-“ Tony paused, catching his breath, “-this.”

Steve looked at Tony for a while, studying him, before finally nodding. “Alright. But then you’re getting checked out by a doctor.”

Tony let out a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Cap.”

He got a nod as Tony felt Thor wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him upward. Then they were rushing through the air. It was exhilarating, the same way he always felt when he was defying gravity in his Iron Man suit. It always made him invincible, even when he knew he wasn’t. Tony saw his old Stark tower closing in. Loki is in that building now... The thought of seeing Loki alive made his heart beat faster in his chest.

Thor landed them abruptly on top of the Stark tower balcony. Tony wavered, and the thunder god caught him quickly.

“Come. Our angry, green friend has caught my brother.”

Tony nodded, and he hoped the god didn’t catch onto any of his nervousness now. I can’t mess with the time. Who knows what will happen if I do? I might be altering my past as well. Or… am I actually here now, hiding in the background? Is Scott here too, with Cap?

The thought of seeing his team members, the ones that actually know his past, warmed his heart a little, but at the same time, he wasn’t too sure if he could bear seeing not just Steve and Scott but himself. He had an inkling he was here now, which was ironic considering he was now from the future.

Mess with time, and it messes back at you, Tony thought warily as he stepped into his old living room. He saw a large, green shape - Banner, no Hulk… that was fast, he’d been downstairs only a minute or two ago - hovering over an unconscious body on the ground.

Loki… Tony saw the shape of the mischief god and he felt his body shiver and his heart skip a beat, his throat feeling drier than it already was. He wanted to tear away from Thor’s supportive arm, pound his fists into Loki and shake him awake. More than ever, he wanted - like he had wanted when he first went through the time heist to get the infinity stone - to embrace Loki. Of course, he would kick the god’s ass for leaving him, of course, but the pain of those five years would mend quickly, knowing he had Loki back. But he couldn’t… not yet anyway. Not when he knew he would draw too much attention here.

“Puny god,” Hulk grumbled, glaring at the unconscious god and continued to grunt with a growl on the tip of his tongue. There was a sound from the elevator area, and Tony saw how quickly Steve and the rest of his team came up to capture Loki and stabilize the situation.

Nat… Tony thought softly to himself as he saw Natasha come towards him with Loki’s scepter. She looked just as young and beautiful as he had seen her before their last moments at the time machine. He caught her sharp gaze and hoped he wasn’t giving anything away that made him look suspicious. But then again… they probably wouldn’t suspect he was a future self trapped in his former body, reliving the past. If anything, Nat would probably laugh.

“You’re looking a little pale. Maybe you should sit this one out,” Natasha remarks, narrowing her eyes as she glanced over Tony’s appearance.

“No, no, I’m fine.”

Natasha didn’t say a word after, although her stare lingered longer than Tony would have liked. Of course, she senses something amiss… Tony thought, feeling a small sense of pride for Natasha. She turned her back on him now, her attention focusing primarily on the unconscious Loki.

Probably distracted by the fact that she was holding a weapon that could cause chaos in the wrong hands, Tony thought as he watched the weapon glow ominously, still exuding power. It was a powerful tool of deadly persuasion, which Tony knew only too well from Loki.

Tony walked closer, and he saw the god of mischief. He was cut and bruised, knocked out cold by a rather strong blow brought on by the Hulk. In spite of all this, Tony couldn’t help but notice how peaceful Loki looked.

It reminded him of the face he used to watch after they had made love and the god had fallen asleep beside him. They used to embrace underneath the sheets, willing themselves to forget the pain and darkness that kept coming their way. Of course, we took them on like every other day…

No matter what happened in their lives, those stolen moments had been one of the best memories of his life.

That was until Thanos took Loki away from him.

Tony saw Loki stir, shards of glass and pieces of rubble falling off of his armor. Then he saw the god’s eyes open slowly. He had to suppress a hitched breath at the sight of them. What once had been overtaken by an icy cold blue were gone, the lush emerald hue of Loki’s original eye color taking over again. They looked upwards at them, at him, and Tony felt his insides twist in a knot as he saw Loki’s face contort in confusion, anger and then amusement - a defence Tony knew Loki used to his advantage every time something went wrong.

“If it’s all the same to you… I’ll have that drink now,” Loki drawled and this time, the god looked at Tony with a small smile, as if he were sharing an inner joke. Which he was, although Tony was the only one who knew.

“Not gonna happen,” Clint snaps viciously as he took out a suitcase, which Tony knew carried the chains given by Thor to prevent Loki from escaping. Of course, that was theoretical, since Loki had later confided in Tony a few years later that if he had wanted to escape, he could have easily done so, but instead, the god had gone along with the charade of playing the captive…

“Huh… Why? You just said you could’ve taken them off. Why did you let us take you away like that?” Tony asked, genuinely curious now as he handed Loki a glass of whiskey. They were sitting a good length away from each other, but close enough to hear each other speaking. The room was lit by a single light on the other end of the living room slash bar (cause really, it was the best of both worlds).

The god raised his eyebrows, looked at the brown liquid for a moment and Tony could see the god was contemplating whether or not he should he drink it.

Maybe he thinks I poisoned it, Tony thought with an inner chuckle.

“I do owe you that drink, don’t I?”

Loki shrugged, and then he brought the glass to his lips and sipped cautiously.

Tony laughed then, even though they weren’t still exactly friends.

He was only letting Loki stay a little to recuperate that day, esp. after the god had come to save the Avengers from his own creation, Ultron. Vision had been the hero that day, sure, but without Loki’s help, millions more of Sokovia’s citizens would have died. It had been so unexpected, considering Thor had told the Avengers that Loki had died in battle in their own world. No one still knew how he ‘survived’, or if he was dead at all.

“Boredom, perhaps?” Loki answered with a question mark added on the end, a mischievous grin spreading on his lips. Tony raised his eyebrows in response.

“I thought you had a reputation for being the God of Lies, Reindeer Games,” Tony responded back, clearly seeing through Loki’s facade.

“Mmm, it seems you see right through me, Stark.”

Tony felt Loki set the glass down on the nearby table, walking a little closer towards him. As soon as he took those first steps, Tony was already up and calling on his suit. But in reality, he didn’t really need to. Loki wasn’t smiling or looking anything like his devilish self; if anything, he just looked genuinely sombre.

“Then perhaps… it is guilt.”

The repulsor hand Tony had raised in Loki’s direction as a warning quickly lowered then. Maybe he had judged Loki way too quickly? Looking at Loki’s expression now, something clicked.

“You never wanted to attack New York, did you? It was the scepter that made you do it, wasn’t it?”

Loki didn’t reply, but his eyes told a story and Tony could tell he was right.

“Why didn’t you tell your brother? Thor told me you didn’t protest when they locked you up.”

Tony almost expected the god to snap at him or attack him then and avert his attention away from that question. Maybe in Loki’s shoes, he might’ve if he didn’t want to explain himself. Tony couldn’t quite tell if Loki was going to continue this conversation, but for the first time he saw something in the god that he recognized, and it was weariness. He could see the god’s eyes filled with a sense of sorrow that even he probably hadn’t felt in his lifetime.

“I deserved to be shut away. My time with the mad Titan has shown me many horrors, and he wrought that misery and pain using me as his vessel.”

Loki took the glass of whiskey again, and this time he drank it all up.

“But you couldn’t have controlled it. Barton couldn’t. Anyone that gets near that thing… it distorts everyone’s mentality for the worst,” Tony heard himself saying, and he wondered - not for the first time- why he was feeling sorry for the god or felt the urge to protect him. Maybe he knew a little something about betrayal in the acutest form. Maybe… reading that file about Loki, hearing Thor’s further conversation about the Odinson family history made him a little soft for the god that stood before him now.

Loki chuckled, and it was bitter now, “There are no excuses, no consolations, for what I have done in the Titan’s name. After my fall, I killed thousands. I wanted, more than ever, to quench my thirst for power and blood was what I needed, regardless whose it may be. The death of your people meant nothing if I could eliminate Thanos’s enemies and execute his plans for genocide. That is how much I had fallen!”

“That wasn’t you, he was controlling you, right? With that scepter of yours-“

“No, it was me!” Loki snarled now, and Tony could see anger burn in those green eyes, hatred fuming at the edges. “The scepter does make you do its bidding, yes. But all of the devastation I caused was from me. Nothing else!”

Tony watched as Loki tried to calm himself, and he could see the god’s hands were trembling from the effort. “Why are you back then?”

“I…” Loki faltered, hesitation clear in his voice, “I wish to atone. I wish… to join your team.”

Tony’s eyes widened a little. “Join the Avengers?”

“Yes, that is what I said, did I not?” Loki spoke and there was an inkling of amusement in the god’s eyes. Tony can see himself reflected in them.

He probably looked stunned. He really hadn’t expected that.

But then again he was Loki’s brother.

“Huh.”

“I have surprised you.”

“I’m thinking you were aiming for that effect,” Tony responded back.

Loki smiled and the mischief in his expression was evident. “Oh yes, I was…”

For the first time, a genuine laugh escaped Tony. In that moment, he felt a certain companionship for the god, the jaded history of their meeting diluted and become replaced with a better memory. That and, oh, the fact that he could tease Loki with ideas of a silly heroes’ costume.

We’ll have that moment soon, Tony thinks, but he knows it’s not as quick as he would have liked. After all, it was in 2015 that he finally got a chance to understand Loki and really connect with him. History needed to repeat itself in order for him to be with the Loki he fell in love with… but time was a cruel mistress.

“Get up!” Thor orders and he forces Loki to his feet, taking the overly sized bronze shackles and clamping them over Loki’s wrists. The god winces a little as the mechanism of the Asgardian chains wrap around his wrists tightly, the gears moving of its own accord. Tony couldn’t help but turn away at that; not being able to do anything and seeing Loki in pain hurt like hell.

Natasha had the scepter trained on Loki as a warning, and Tony shied away from the glow. He had been fortunate enough to be absolutely unaffected by the stone before, but Tony didn’t want to take any chances, now that he was here.

Which made Tony wonder… if he was here, then where was his 2012 self? Was he… gone? Had he erased that other self from existence forever? Did this mean he was going to have to live through his own past again?

Is that so bad? A small part of him spoke softly. Tony really didn’t know what was better.

“Let’s get him out of here,” Tony heard Steve speaking in the background.

He turned as he heard the elevator doors open again and he saw S.H.I.E.L.D agents - no, HYDRA - come up. The soldiers followed the agent in the front line, who held a long suitcase, without question. Tony felt the same distaste as when he’d learned about HYDRA’s existence. He really wanted, more than anything, to tell his team here and now that these men were enemies, that those weren’t really allies of S.H.I.E.L.D. But of course, he couldn’t. Not if he wanted to keep everything balanced.

I’d mess up everything, Tony thought with frustration as he watched Natasha give the scepter to the agent with the suitcase. Cap… he needs those stones to defeat Thanos. It has to be this way…

He watched, a bystander of time, as the HYDRA team left with the large suitcase holding Loki’s scepter. Tony’s hands had balled into fists.

“Tony, you hold the Tesseract,” Steve spoke as he handed Tony a suitcase. Tony nodded, although he wondered why the Captain was asking him to hold onto the Tesseract, knowing how Tony wasn’t in the best shape. But then he didn’t really question it. His future self had everything planned out to take it away from him - it’d be better if he was holding it, then Steve, since his next plan involved a little electrocution.

Not a fun thought… Tony mused at the thought as he remembered that moment when he saw himself writhing in pain on the floor near the reception desk. Nope, not fun at all.

“I’ll go ahead to secure the premises and make sure there isn’t any other threats we’ve missed,” Steve announced.

Oh boy, need to stall him…

“Wait, Captain, you gotta come with us. Loki’s still uh, dangerous fugitive and we need all eyes that we can get,” Tony started, trying to stir Steve away from the door that led to the stairs.

“No can do, Stark. I’ll see you soon.”

Tony followed the rest of the team as Thor dragged Loki away and into the elevator, where he too stepped inside. He purposefully stayed a few inches away from the god, forcing himself not to look in Loki’s direction. Tony was a little amused when Hulk had a bit of a tantrum for not being allowed into the elevator, but other than that, his heart couldn’t stop beating so hard. It was ridiculous just how lovesick he felt as if he were some character from a romcom. But then maybe that was what love did to you.

The ride down was filled with silence, especially after the muzzle was put on Loki. And yet, in spite f the silence, Tony could feel a tension in the air. The team was clearly still on alert. There was another thing where he could feel that particular someone watching him from the other side of the elevator. Tony ignored the intense stare as much as possible.

What was he going to do now though? Was he going to have to let the sequence of events take hold? Tony knew he messed up the first time when he and Scott went after the stone. That plan hadn’t really worked, and he had ended up going back in time to his father’s timeline… Should he let all of that unfold? Or did he have a choice? Could he make it easier for his former self?

Or more importantly…

Could he change time so Loki lived?

Tony could still feel a presence staring at him, and he couldn’t bear to ignore it anymore. He turned to look.

Loki was watching him, silently observing him from the corner of his eye. But it was enough to see that the god was intrigued by something, which Tony tried desperately to hide. He tried to keep his composure as much as possible, yet this time he couldn’t stop looking into Loki’s eyes.

And then he heard it.

Why is your heart beating so fast, Anthony Stark?

Loki’s voice slid through his mind like a serpent, nestling comfortably. Tony felt his body shiver at the magical contact. He wanted to embrace it, but another part of him was panicking. Shit, shit, shit.

Blasphemy does not suit you. But I commend you for winning this time, mortal. I do believe you and I are not so different when it comes to our morals, Loki’s silky voice spoke. So tell me… what are you hiding?

I’m not hiding anything!

I could easily break you apart, here and now, right in front of your comrades. You avoid my glance, your heart rate speeds up when you see me. You are afraid. If I were to take a guess, I daresay you may very well be in love, but that is close to impossible, all things considered.

Of course not, Tony thought quickly, maybe a bit too fast. He heard the elevator chime and saw the floor was close to stopping. He eyed the numbers, descending excruciatingly slow. Meanwhile, he could hear Loki’s amused chuckle.

Mmm, you are not a very good liar.

Tony felt Loki’s presence subside, and he let out a breath of relief. He broke his eye contact with Loki when Thor pushed his brother out of the elevator, and into the large hallway.

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” Clint stated as they stepped out of the elevator. Tony was in front, with Clint, Thor and Natasha training all their weapons on Loki. Even from the corner of his eye, Tony can feel the god watching him, can almost imagine the trademark grin spreading on the god’s lips.

He turned a fraction and saw a man wearing the suit of special forces near the reception desk, lingering a little too long for a normal soldier. Yup, that was him.

Tony saw the HYDRA team again now, and this time it was Alexander Pierce himself and his merry gang.

Great, just what I needed… Tony thought distastefully but he smiled brightly on the outside, showing off his pearly whites. He hoped the son of a bitch wouldn’t notice the disgust in his eyes.

“May I ask you where you’re going?” Pierce spoke.

“A bit of lunch and then Asgard. I’m sorry, you are?” Thor questioned.

Tony went through his script, or at least he improvised, pretty stealthily. He was probably a pretty good actor, all things considered. Maybe he should have gone into the Hollywood business. Oh, that would have made Loki laugh… Tony thought for a split second before he focused on reenacting his past. After all, Scott was probably going to zap him any minute now. In nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two… one.

The shock was to be expected, but Tony felt the jolt of pain all the same. It knocked him off his feet, shook him apart. It wasn’t as bad as his last moments when his whole body was scorched from the effects of the stone, sure, but it still hurt. A lot.

“Stark?” Pierce’s voice echoed ever so faintly as Tony let go of the grip on his suitcase. He forced himself to look before he fell, saw the suitcase slide over to the his other self, that waited for the case to come into his hands. Ingenious as it was, Tony almost wanted to hate that other guy who let his past self go through this pain. And yet, a part of him was also a little relieved.

Everything is going as it should be…

Like I said, Stark. You are a very terrible liar, a familiar voice pierced through his haze of pain and before Tony could even think to reply, he knew he had made his first mistake: letting Loki in.

Through the surprised cries, most likely created from the commotion the Hulk had made after bursting through the long stairwell, Tony felt a hand on his shoulder. The pain immediately dissipated. He gasped and blinked, expecting to see Thor’s face. Instead, he was staring into the face of the mischief god, who smiled broadly, the muzzle now gone.

“Loki! No!” Tony heard Thor’s angry roar and he flinched, feeling his exhausted body being hoisted up. He thought he could hear a crackle of thunder, but he knew he was probably acting as Loki’s human shield now. From the corner of his eye, he could see a blue glow and realized that Loki was now free of the Asgardian chains as well, the other hand gripping the Tesseract tightly.

“Goodbye, brother,” Loki nonchalantly.

Wait, I can’t! Tony thought, but it was too late. The whole room disappeared before his eyes, and he was now standing in a dark room of some sort. Loki let him go as soon as they were away from the past he knew.

“Oh no,” Tony heard himself whisper. He tried to get up, but the effects of the shock he’d gotten still rendered him a little weak on the knees. And second, he couldn’t see a thing except for the glow of the Tesseract in Loki’s hand.

He heard a snap and the lights came on, revealing a luxury suite of some kind. The designs were the same as Earth though, thankfully enough.

“I do need to thank you, Man of Iron. Without your help, I really wouldn’t have seen quite the error of my ways. You didn’t think a mere muzzle and some chains could hold my magic, now, did you?” Loki drawled and smiled, the glimmer of mischief evident in his eyes.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen. Loki, we have to go back! You’re not supposed to-“ Tony started, trying to get up. It was a painstaking process - he should have anticipated this.

“No doubt it wasn’t quite what you planned… Yet it is what it is, no?” Loki spoke, and Tony watched as the god squeezed the Tesseract cube in his grip. It splintered and broke until finally, the sound of glass breaking sounded. Tony had to close his eyes for a moment before he saw Loki with the stone, the blue Space stone floating in Loki’s palm.

“What are you doing?”

Fear crept up in Tony now, and he knew it wasn’t for him now. It was for Loki. Of course, the fear of messing with the timeline was there, but more than anything, he wanted to keep the god safe from himself.

“Loki, whatever you’re planning, don’t do it. You’re better than this.”

“And how do you know this, Stark?” Loki snaps back at Tony, and this time he realizes that he’d once again judged Loki wrong. He thought he had seen glee in those eyes, but it was an illusion. Behind the grand facade, the god’s smile was a desperate attempt to hide his despair.

I know you’re hurting. That pain isn’t going to go away. You won’t be able to get over it anytime soon. But don’t run away from it. That stone isn’t going to save you.

“Why are you acting so wise, all of a sudden?” The god snarled. “A moment ago, you were happy to see me fall, like the rest of your silly group. I am the villain in this story, am I not? I will be called the monster that devastated your short. Pathetic. Lives!”

Loki struck out and Tony, without his suit, was hit full with the power of Loki’s magic. He felt his body bang into the wall, making a good dent of it. The glass around them broke a little, and he saw that he was still in New York. Loki hadn’t travelled far, and of all places, the god had decided to get a room with a good view. Figures.

He got up as fast as he could, but it still wasn’t fast enough. One minute, he was dragging himself up, leaning heavily on the wall behind him, and the next he was pressed right into it, Loki’s free hand (the one not holding the stone) pushing his aching back to the wall.

“You’re not a monster.”

“Such conviction. And yet you know nothing!” Loki hissed, eyes filled with anger. Tony flinched as he felt the energy of the stone permeating from it. Somehow though, seeing it so close again, Tony wasn’t afraid. This time, the threat of death seemed almost pointless, considering he had died once before.

“I’ll prove it,” Tony said, staring up at Loki with determination.

“You canno- NO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DON’T!”

Tony had reached out his free hand quickly to grasp the floating Space Stone, knowing full well that touching it will most likely kill him. Again. But his life wasn’t as important now. He’d lived all the lives he was meant to. Getting this second chance… he needed to use it not just for himself, but for the god he loved.

Tony was pushed aside so quickly, he hadn’t even noticed until he was on the ground, his hand still intact. Loki, on the other hand, looked as flustered as ever.

He smiled up at Loki with a knowing grin, “See?”

“You fool! The stone would have destroyed you!”

“Mmm, I was counting on it.”

Loki looked at Tony in disbelief. “Why would you be so reckless? How could you stake your life on a petty gamble such as this?”

Think of the timeline… Tony thought then, and he felt all the agony of loneliness, self-loathing and sadness he had felt the past five years come back to haunt him now. Seeing Loki now, alive and breathing, was a gift. But the future was a curse, something he wished he could change from the bottom of his heart. Was there no other way? Could he not trick time into letting Loki live?

A gamble, eh? Maybe I’ll have to take that chance.

“For you, I’d do anything,” Tony spoke, his voice coming off softly. He could see the anger and disbelief dissipate, replaced with confusion.

“Why!? What are you hiding, Stark?” Loki demanded.

“Oh, didn’t I tell you?” Tony said with a small smirk. “I’m from the future.”

#frostiron #my fic #i couldnt resist the temptation of that scene #i can almost say that different alternate timeline kind of gives me life right now #my frostiron #im still a learning writer lol so i might be repeating some words #excuse any errors

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