#since he literally has no ties to anyone but his mentor i can and will say hes aT LEAST half kittypet

[thekingthatwrites]

Hello tis I.. rain y day,

If you’re up to it, I would DIE for some Ned and/or Duck comforting Aubrey! I’m on ep. 19 and they make me sooooo so sick in the brain I think they all deserve big comfort and hugs and maybe even a forehead kiss…

-🌧

Yeah, I Get It.

Summary: Sometimes, having a gift like what Aubrey Little does can become... draining. Both in a literal sense and in the way that drags her down in every moment she can't seem to help the people around her. She's seen things, been told things, and can't seem to get the past out of her head. But, lucky for her, there's someone on her team that gets it more than anyone else. Duck Newton takes care of her in a familial type way.

Genere: Hurt/Comfort

Aubrey Little and Duck Newton | Familial

A/N: Thank you, Rain, for this wonderful prompt, I will indeed have a field day with this. <33

Word Count: 3,020 words

@sunnynights-rainydays

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡

It was hard. Being chosen to be something bigger than you were. Sometimes it felt as if there was no point in it. Being put in a position where one is supposed to be something more than what they were before, is hard, it's a hard thing to accept. Be it a blade that is passed down from others or a title and a gift given from another world, it's a lot of weight to be something more.

Duck Newton and Aubrey Little sit in this same exact boat. Standing back to back, they are two sides of the same coin, given something more than what they might be. Aubrey, with her magic, something unique and ... more than she might be able to handle. Duck, with literally being a chosen one to bring about destiny. Though, unlike Aubrey, Duck has been dealing with this pressure since his teenage years, without much of any break from his dance with fate, and in turn, his dance with Minerva.

He has no issue with the woman, his mentor, but with the pressure that he has dealt with, with the idea of saving the world pressed into the back of his mind, it was sometimes more than he realized he signed up for.

Aubrey, on the other hand, has ... something different weighing her down. As memories circle her mind, she's brought back and forth from the past and the present; not only that she's been remembering something that just wasn't her own. She remembered the memories of Alexandra, the young ruler of Sylvain. It was something that felt... intruding, something that she didn't realize at first wasn't her own thoughts, but when she did it felt bad. It felt bad to realize your connection to another world, even though it was slight, or at least she thought this was the case. She had no way to prove it, no way to be sure, but somewhere in her heart she just knew it. With the crystal, with the memories, all of it. It ... no, she had to be something more. Part of her loved the idea of it, she wanted to be the one to help Sylvain but ... another part of her loathed it. She already had to deal with so much, with working with her magic and helping Duck, Ned, and the rest of the Pine Guard with the monsters that infest the world; why did she have to have more on her plate?

These were the thoughts that moved through her head as she sat at one of the window sills of the lodge. She leaned on the cold window looking out on the forest, watching as snow fell from dark clouds that blanketed the sky. She had a somber look on her features with her lidded eyes watching gentle flakes of snow land on the window. A hand rested on her chin as she pushed the weight of her head onto her palm, keeping her elbow pressed on the window sill.

There was an emptiness in the air, the sound of wind passing through the trees was the only noise that was notable as she sat there. As if the lodge had been abandoned, there wasn't a soul in sight, not even Moira at her usual place sitting at the piano. Though, Aubrey didn't seem to notice, or if she did, she didn't mind the quiet. She was a very social person, everyone in Kepler who knew her knew this as a fact, but today was a little different. Solemn and almost gloomy took up the afternoon, and likewise, it took her up as well.

She hadn't known how long she had been sitting there when she heard footsteps begin to sound through the lodge. Heavy boots on wood echoed through the halls, specifically, as Aubrey noted it, through the hall on the left from Mama's office. After living in these walls for months, she, at this point, has memorized it's layout.

When her gaze shifted from the window she stared out of to the other side of the room, she expected to see Mama. Surprise entered her mind when she saw Duck walking away from the hall, noting her with a slight eyebrow raise and a tip of his hat after placing it back on his head. For whatever reason he had it off.

"Hey Duck,"

She'd say, simply, soon finding herself going back to her original position. For some odd reason, she expected him to just keep walking after a small greeting back to her, leaving the lodge; he didn't.

"Hey Aubrey. What's got you goin'? All down in the dumps, it ain't like you."

Duck raised an eyebrow as he found his way over, crossing his arms over his chest as he stood over her, just a foot or so away. Once again, she just hadn't expected it, so she found herself looking over in surprise. Duck tilted his head in response,

"What, can't a guy ask a friend what's got her goat?"

He'd inquire, moving to sit next to her, leaning back into the corner of the window sill, letting out a soft hum.

Aubrey would watch as he sat down, allowing her eyes to just keep on him, staring with that golden and darker color of her irises. A silence ate at the atmosphere for a solid few seconds before Duck cleared his throat, trying to get her attention.

"Oh- uh."

She'd sit up, her posture straightening out as she leaned back onto the opposite wall.

"I dunno, yeah of course you can, but-"

She'd hesitate, furrowing her eyebrows, picking at one of her nails for a moment, before continuing.

"I'm fine, I guess."

She'd shrug, moving her feet onto where she sat, pushing her legs up against her chest, and crossing her arms over her knees. She laid her head down on her arms, a natural cushioning, as her eyes would shift back to the window. The snow hadn't let up, and it didn't seem like it would for a while. As she observed the outdoors, she would note little details, from Duck's car that sat in the driveway to Jake and Barclay hanging out on the front porch, slightly out of view. It really was a quiet afternoon.

"Yeah, that's one hella load of bull there, Aubrey. You ain't someone to sulk, so what's up?"

Duck would continue to probe and prod at the girl, wanting her to open up about her troubles. Listen, he wasn't really the kind of guy to give advice, to be some sort of therapist, but Aubrey was a different case. She reminded him so, so much of his little sister; he couldn't help but try and be by her side.

She moved her head, her chin sitting on her arms as she gave the other some sort of eye contact. Duck couldn't help but note the vibrancy of the girl's eye, the bright amber color of it eating all of the brown that originally was there. He hadn't gotten the chance, really, to take note of this girl's change, but such a thing would be pushed to the back of his mind.

"I'm..."

It was all she could allow to escape her lips for the moment. Duck watched as thoughts processed through her mind, he could almost see the loading bubble floating over her head,

"It's complicated. There's just so much on my plate now, ya know? With the Pine Guard to Sylvain, I mean, my eye and everything. It's just so much... so much I don't know if I can take on. I feel like I'm being built for something more than I am! Something that I ... don't think I can really be."

She'd look down at her shoes, moving them up and down for a moment as a way of slight stimulation. She'd listen as Duck would make that familiar clicking sound with his tongue before letting out a small sigh,

"Fighting with this, uh, whole destiny thing, huh? Yeah, been there. Listen, Aubrey, whatever the future has in store for you, you're gonna fuckin' kill it, I know it. There's no doubt in your abilities, that's for sure, strongest one outta all of us, for sure."

He'd lean forward, scooting over slightly, closer to the girl as he'd place a hand on her shoulder.

"Y'er stronger than ya know."

She looked at him with this hope in her eyes that wasn't there before, or maybe it was a glossiness that coated her eyes, Duck would never tell. She'd look to the side, placing her hand on her friend's, and let out a small chuckle, leaning back once again.

"Thanks, Duck."

She'd say, letting out a small huff and an amused breath. Duck smirked, copying her actions as he too leaned back,

"Any time. You're a part of this team and, honestly, we need you not worryin' so much. Try focusing on the present."

He'd look out the window too, watching as snow fell to the ground, coating the earth, as well as his car.

"Ah, shit that's gonna be a pain in the ass. Probably gonna be stayin' here t'night."

Duck sighed in defeat, realizing that by the time he wanted to leave, his car would be covered in snow. what a pain. Aubrey seemed to chuckle at this, causing him to look over. He smirked, happy that he could bring her mood up with such simple words. While she reminded him of his sister, they were very different. If it were Jane, well, she'd probably push him away. The two siblings love one another, that's for sure, but that girl doesn't need Newton all up in her business. So why not spend some of that brotherly love on the next best thing, someone he sees as a younger sister. In turn, Aubrey sees him in a similar light. It was hard not to with the energy that he gave off to her, the way he cares about the people around him, and wants to protect him. Even if he doesn't try to, he can't help but give the feel of an older brother.

Though, even with those words, such simple words that, for a moment, put her thoughts to the side, she couldn't help but get lost in her head as soon as he stopped talking. To Duck, the silence was comfortable, not realizing, as he looked out onto the snowy forest, that Aubrey was diving head-first back into the pool of stress. For Aubrey the silence was unbearable. It was suffocating, as she began to drown in her thoughts, her eyebrows couldn't help but furrow into a deep knot. Tears formed at the corners of her eyes as one main thing floated in her mind.

What if ... she wasn't good enough? What if her efforts weren't enough, enough to help the people she cares about, to help Sylvain grow as a world, be more than what these monsters escaping it were making it out to be. She was given this task, a task that pressed onto her being and hurt her chest, the pressure was something unlike she had experienced. She knew stress, she knew the pressure of expectations, but this was different. Her parents looking to her, her father expecting more than the magic she wanted to pursue, no, this was as if the world was at stake. In her head, she knelt on the ground, cradling herself as she pressed her head to the bottom of this void of a mind full of fear and distress. The worry clawed at her thoughts, and she couldn't help but let tears fall, be it one single drop moving down her dark features.

"How do you do it?"

She'd ask. The words slipped off her tongue, not really realizing what she had even said.

"Do what, Aubrey?"

Duck questioned without looking over, and for a few moments, it would stay this way. That was until he finally found himself glancing over after she would be silent for a few moments after he responded to her question. He sat up, surprised at the sight of the girl, teary-eyed, looking out the window as she refused to make eye contact with him. He was confused, at first, but it quickly set in that this girl needed more than just words. With his own eyebrows furrowing, he, once more, scooted closer to the girl, putting a hand on her knee as he hummed.

"It's alright to cry, Aubs, shit, there's no need to keep all that in. If you need to let those tears go, let them rip. kiddo"

Duck tried to make the girl laugh, and it seemed to allow a small smirk to move to her lips, but soon after she found herself melting into a puddle of tears. She leaned forward, crossing her legs as she pressed her head into Duck's shoulder, letting out sobs that echoed through the lobby. She was so relieved that there was no one else to bare witness to this tragic sight.

Duck wrapped an arm around the girl, pulling her into a hug as she just seemed to cry. She grasped tightly onto the shirt he wore, something that was more casual than his usual ranger uniform, and basked in the comfort that Duck's hold gave her.

"How... how do you handle it all... how ... how do you cope with... with being more than you ever thought you could be...? That... that isn't just me right? Right? I... I don't know what to d... do. How am... how am I supposed... supposed to do all this bullshit!"

These words were muffled as she spoke into his shirt, grasping tighter onto the cloth. Duck wouldn't care, not for a moment, as he stared down at the shaking girl. He hadn't ever seen her so... weak. So vulnerable. It was heartbreaking that a woman who had such a fire in her heart could be so easily doused into embers.

"...Time."

Duck would say. He'd move a hand to her back, rubbing it up and down, trying to give her comfort. He'd let out a low breath, looking to the side, out and over towards the rest of the lodge. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a figure, and when he looked over he spotted Mama, looking more than just concerned. He shook his head before nodding his head up, dismissing her from the area. Mama quickly understood before she gave a nod back, retreating back to her office to let Duck handle the situation.

At first, he didn't know what to say. He was an expert in all of this, in knowing how to deal with the stress, the intense fear that came along with being 'a chosen'. Sure, Aubrey wasn't literally one of him, of Leo, of Minerva, not at all, but she was still dealing with the same shit he had to go through. So what was he to say? What got him through the times he thought he wouldn't be able to do what was expected of him? In between his doubts, the times he declined Minerva's offering, there was still the intensity of it all. To be chosen by some figure to defend and even save the world? It was a lot … so what got him through it all? Besides his friends who stuck by his side, the people who loved him and cared for him, what really let him push through?

"It took a lotta time. Time that I thought I wouldn't have, really, but time. Listen, Aubs, every day you will find more courage in you to deal with the future, hell, even the present. It ain't gonna be easy, I know you wish it would be, I wish it was for you too. But I know you're strong, and you have not only me but also Ned and Mama right by yer side."

He'd place his hands on the side of her head, either side, and pulled up to look at her. Her face was stained with streaks of tears, her eyes red and puffy, and of course her nose was runny. She looked up to him, the tears not stopping, not for a moment, as he continued to speak.

"So don't worry your firey lil head over it, we got your back. I promise you that kiddo."

He'd give her a smile. That smile held so much warmth, so much kindness, every little ounce of hope she needed in one look. Her heart wasn't in as much pain, as the fire that was fear calmed and replaced with the usual flame that gave her that hell of a stage name. She smiled back, sitting up and retracting her face from Duck's hands, wiping her eyes and cheeks with the back of her hand.

"Okay..."

She'd start, letting out a pathetic laugh, one that dripped in obvious sadness that couldn't help but linger.

"You're right... for once, I believe you."

She joked, poking at the fact that most often he just wasn't that great with words. But lucky for her, this happened to be right up his alley, so he simply knew exactly what to say.

Duck snorted some at her words and reached up to ruffle her hair. Reluctantly, she let him, and would roll her eyes as she continued to rid them of tears.

"Thanks, Duck."

He smiled,

"Any time. Now go get yourself something good to drink, so you ain't dehydrated."

It was beyond her, as she watched as Duck tipped his hat to her once again as he stood from where he sat, bringing an end to this conversation. It seemed that he wouldn't let it go on anyway till she had done what he said. But still, it was beyond her how he could be so ... brotherly yet...

Thinking about it, the words didn't seem to come to her. Her eyes softened and, along with it, so did her features. She couldn't believe she really had an older brother, she just had to look in the right places.

[weeping-gospels]

slaps down some more notable LARP moments that always get added to human Betty’s backstory

- She straight up admitted to L’Neauch (barbarian mentor) that she saw him as a father figure after giving him a lucky rabbit’s foot with Shavali bells tied to it. He already has a literal daughter that’s half orc, but accepted Betty anyway considering the fact she’s learning how to be part of the tribe now. Her now calling him papa (more like ‘baba’ with the accent or occasionally ‘otets’ which roughly translates to father) and him saying he’s gotta get used to that anyway, him thinking about father daughter activities and ends up asking her if she likes anyone before telling the tale of his first half orc lover

Her awkwardly saying her first crush was Shamrock and she got rejected right away because he’s aromantic HGHFHGHVB

I love them so much this was incredibly wholesome he even gave her her own war paint design when she asked for one to feel more emotionally strong

- Rafael is a half elf fighter that hardly ever docks, he’s this powerful captain that’s almost always on seas (basically he lives in Florida and can never come out to LARP because of his children and job lmao) . Betty meeting him for the first time after joining the Battlebound guild (fighter exclusive type shit) then asking him to train her too since L’Neauch trains Spinemangler and Rafael trains the physical body

this was the first time I’ve ever did a 1v1 spar lol he straight up went aight I want you to literally come at me with everything you’ve got. Betty like uh. I only..fight enemies like that and you’re my friend and mentor. He goes I get that, I was like that too — but I will hurt you. I am definitely going to hurt you, so fight me back.

And they did. They beat the shit out of each other, though he blocked most of her swings and was only using his fists at first — and also inflicting excruciating pain for 10 seconds. Every time. Telling her to fight past it, get up, fight for that fire within her and fight for her aspiration (to liberate and protect the ratfolk and become the rat keeper). Bro my body was BEAT lmao the amount of times I had to crumble to the wet ground and spar and scream to sell the act. Eventually she could resist that pain so there’s that!

He’s also INCREDIBLY flirty. Flirts with people a lot. Flirts with Betty in almost every sentence LMAO of course she flirts back. It’s a shame he won’t be back for another year I adore him

- Another ratling came out the next morning after she finally started opening up to people about her intense will to protect the ratfolk. So, NPCs will come out when a new banner dedicated to a certain deity is issued and they hand these banners off to dedicated clerics who hail that deity for them to pin up.

Well

This ratling came to Florian, who is a dedicated cleric to Jerdano (nature and life) and we’re ready to clap for Jerdano until he unrolls the banner and it’s fucking Ethali. The goddess of deceit, trickery, and lies. Ratlings are children of Ethali.

So the ratling, who doesn’t even know how to speak, starts losing it’s shit laughing at him and so do we all — my guess is it’s because this dude did death strike two innocent ratlings last event and word probably got out to the rest about it so it was a fuck you plot but cast wouldn’t tell me if I was right or wrong lmao

Still funny as hell

I remember being half awake walking into the tavern, barely in character, seeing a ratling (cast hardly uses them) , not even knowing who was playing the ratling, literally speechless and unable to get into character before it starts coming up to Betty patting her shoulder and hugging her and I dead ass teared up :’))) not my plot but still so nice to see a ratling again

- So, Betty is the scribe of the Bardic guild and the illustrator for The New Gazette paper. Bardic guild is in preparation of creating an art gallery and want to feature my art so :‘) that’s exciting I get to have my illustrations and crafts displayed!

- it was fucking raining. every day. I’m so exhausted. holy shit

but god damn is the campsite beautiful

[tailsrevane]

[tv review] ds9 4x01 & 4x02 "the way of the warrior" (1995)

forget about the way of water, it’s the way of the warrior, baybee!

yeah, ok, that’s not going to age well. for future readers (being very optimistic that i’ll have future readers. or present readers. hell, i’ll take past readers even though that’s temporally confusing), i first posted this review on my tumblr the day after i posted my avatar: the way of water review. cool? cool. moving on.

worf was my favorite star trek character for a very long time, is still one of my favorite star trek characters, and has carried that distinction through very different periods of my life. my original favorite star trek character was, of course, spock. i glommed onto worf basically immediately when i started watching tng, which in retrospect makes sense because wow huh weird i was always drawn to the alien/outsider characters gee i wonder why that was? but i think i started recognizing him as my “favorite star trek character” in college when i was getting super religious to compensate for how terrified i was of beginning to question my own sexuality/gender with literally zero support. but when i became an atheist (and, later, a polytheistic witch) my love of worf endured.

idk if this is interesting to literally anyone else, so apologies if it’s not, but i just think it’s interesting when a character is so compelling that you can love them during such vastly different parts of your life, even if part of your realization that you loved them was intimately tied to that part of your life? because the thing about worf is that he’s a klingon of deep commitment to his beliefs, and that appealed to me for very specific reasons when i was a christian and appeals to me for completely different reasons now, but what hasn’t changed is that it appeals to me.

when people talk about the pantheon of great star trek actors, i think michael dorn often gets left behind, and frankly i think that’s a pretty big fucking travesty. because he brings so much to his character, and the fact that he has to act through such heavy makeup & prosthetics just makes it all the more impressive what he’s able to pull off.

i also just fucking love what worf’s presence on the show brings out in everyone else. in the previous season’s finale, when sisko is promoted to captain, chief o’brien says he’s the “newest and best” captain in the fleet. and i didn’t stop & really dig into that in my (fairly short) review of that episode because i knew i was going to get this second crack at it, but the really interesting thing about that statement is that o’brien was (at the time) the only ds9 character who served with both sisko and picard, so while i don’t know if the writers really fully considered the implications of that, the statement that is very clear when you stop and think about it is that captain sisko is a better captain than captain picard, and despite picard also being one of my absolute favorite star trek characters, and someone i frequently look to for inspiration… yeah, i’m… inclined to agree, actually?

and my recollection is that sisko is a fantastic mentor to worf. like, i’m not saying picard was a bad mentor, but i think sisko is just ever so slightly better, and i think that makes perfect sense when comparing the strengths of the two characters. both are paragons of virtue in their own ways, but with sisko there’s a bit more willingness to be vulnerable (while still recognizing his own power & attendant responsibilities), and i just think that gives him the edge a lot of times in his relationships with his crew.

and yeah, “picard plus emotional availability” is also basically the formula for captain pike in strange new worlds, so at this poiunt i think we have plenty of game tape to support the fact that this is a winning formula.

sparks also fly (literally & figuratively, since bat’leths sometimes spark when you strike them against each other) in worf’s first meeting with jadzia dax, which used to be my favorite romantic relationship in all of star trek so i’m looking forward to seeing how i feel about it this time through. certainly it’s between two of my favorite characters, so that’s obviously a pretty big advantage. (... then again, isn’t my favorite ds9 character “literally anyone but odo, and even he has his moments”???)

and that’s just… fuck, guys, i’ve gone on for two pages here gushing about this, and i haven’t even really gotten into the fucking movie-scale plot of this episode? because that would be the klingon invasion of cardassia, and the disillusion of the peace treaty between the federation & klingon empire. just, damn, y’all! there is so much going on in this episode, and all of it is just fucking fantastic!

this episode rules, guys. what a way to introduce my favorite era of ds9. i can’t believe we’re already into the worf episodes! i’m so fucking excited, y’all!

s-rank

[augment-techs]

Fandom ask game; Mystic Force, (if you can offer discourse upon it, and Samurai if not) 👀

ALL

For Mystic Force (including the one comic): favorite character: Oh, what a question. I wanna say Chip, but my brain keeps being torn between Leelee and Clare. Endless possibilities there, after all~

least favorite character: Literally any and all of the Morlocks, except for Necrolai and Koragg.

brOTP: Nick & Madison; adventures in Red Ranger heteronormativity I may never grow to like, but Maddie is a lovely leash for this hothead.

OTP: Udonna/Leanbow (as Koragg, too, sometimes; for the angst).

OT3: Chip/Xander/Vida. Fun loving, endearing, kind, practical--they're all sweethearts who deserve each other.

NOTP: Nick x Anyone he's related to (stahp).

favorite storyline: Mmmmm, it's actually tied. Wherein Leelee experience the 'Two Worlds, One Family' trope to its preferable conclusion and wherein Vida gets to actually BE a vampire.

least favorite storyline: Just...the WAY Nick's relations with Udonna and Leanbow played out. Like, there was possibility and presentation to consider and THIS SUCKED.

what I wish had happened but didn’t: Actual goddamn build-up and consideration towards Nick so he could have grown as a character we could all actually LIKE.

what happened that I wish hadn’t: Mystic Mother Rita being largely left offscreen--also more comics than just the one, PLEASE.

For Samurai (including the comics): favorite character: Shattered Grid did a marvelous job making Lauren Shiba my golden girl (but I also quietly adore Spike Skullovitch).

least favorite character: Mentor Ji.

brOTP: Realistically, we all KNOW Antonio & Jayden are queer as hell for each other, but since the series is what it is, here's their title.

OTP: Mike/Kevin. What can I say? Good writing on AO3 has won me over exceptionally well (PunkPinkPower & aletterinthenameofsanity; you're the ones at fault here, bless). That and the stuck-like-glue episode.

OT3: Mia/Emily/Lauren--plays ~GIRLS!! GIRLS!! GIRLS!!~ on blast.

NOTP: Mike/Emily. Just...no. It's so vanilla and boring and annoying.

favorite storyline: Antonio being the actual blessing that he is, building his was up to find his way back to Jayden. And Lauren fighting with Jason in Shattered Grid :D

least favorite storyline: Lauren being yeeted out of battle with a broken arm and Jayden wandering the wilderness because he has no meaning. :P

what I wish had happened but didn’t: Jayden actually taking any of his lessons about teamwork and being a lone wolf actually sunk in.

what happened that I wish hadn’t: Lauren and Jayden being the victims of home grown child soldiers without any kind of real apology from Ji; Lauren being knocked the fuck out by sexist bullshit.

[makeste]

Do you think Deku will ever get mad at All-Might for keeping so many secrets from him? Deku has been giving All-Might free passes on things he should have known about like AFO, previous holders of OFA and now that Tomura is Nana's grandson. It feels like AM needs to be held accountable at some point.

I think it’s likely; he’s gotten fairly mad at him about this before, back when All Might hid the truth about his falling-out with Nighteye.

and he’s probably going to feel a bit betrayed at the realization that All Might is still keeping things from him even after this conversation. and it’s not like it’s just small things, either; these are some pretty major things that Deku is still getting blindsided by as a result of All Might’s secrecy. it feels like AM hasn’t really learned his lesson at all and is still Dumbledoring his way through this mentorship.

but the thing is, I can understand All Might’s point of view here as well, and I get why he keeps doing it, even if I don’t agree with it. I’ve been meaning to write a post about this anyway, especially since it ties into the matter of the Fourth OFA User and his quirk, so let’s take a look at All Might’s ever-growing List of Secrets, because there’s a pattern there.

1. OFA

starting with the big one. now obviously Deku is very much in on this particular secret. however it is still a secret from just about everyone else, and it’s probably the one secret that All Might has been the most adamant about keeping, going to increasingly elaborate lengths even as it becomes more and more obvious that all of these efforts are eventually going to prove futile.

the thing is, it’s pretty obvious why he’s been trying so hard to keep the truth of Deku’s quirk hidden. OFA paints a huge target onto Deku’s back, one that would attract notice not just from the villain side, but from the hero side as well. OFA is basically the ultimate prize. it’s probably the most powerful quirk in existence, aside from AFO. and once word gets out that this power can be passed on to literally anyone simply at will, things could start getting very ugly.

Deku would suddenly come under pressure from all sides, with people trying to use and control him (well, I say “people”, but mainly I mean the HPSC sob). that’s if they see him as a useful tool and a weapon in the battle against the League, mind you. but if they decide that he’s not, or that he’s not ready, there would instead be pressure for him to give up OFA to a “worthier” candidate. either way, Deku himself isn’t going to be taken into account. his thoughts, his feelings, what he wants, what he deserves; none of that is going to matter to these people.

and these are the good guys, mind! that’s not even mentioning the villains, who have already destroyed an entire city in pursuit of him. Deku is in a lot of danger now. and so far, Tomura/AFO have been surprisingly honorable in their attempts to get ahold of OFA, in that they’ve been targeting Deku directly. but AFO is a notoriously underhanded guy, and it concerns me that there are a ton of more underhanded methods still on the table for him to try out. because we’ve already established that Deku is notoriously self-sacrificing. I mean literally notorious, as in both his friends and enemies alike have all picked up on this trait and made a note of it. so imagine if Tomura ever decides to take hostages, for instance. “give me OFA or I’ll kill so and so.” then what?? jesus.

so yeah, all in all it’s pretty clear why All Might has been exceedingly careful about keeping OFA a secret even from most of Deku’s allies. this isn’t even getting into the whole U.A. traitor thing as well, but I mean, you get the idea, right? the reason All Might has gone to such lengths to keep OFA a secret is to protect Deku.

2. AFO

and now we get to the first of many things that All Might kept hidden from Deku himself! and these are generally going to be a lot harder to defend. like yeah, you probably should have told this barely-pubescent child that that the quirk you were giving him came prepackaged with a built-in mortal enemy, All Might. might want to actually lead with that part next time.

so why didn’t he tell Deku about AFO? well first of all please understand that I’m not trying to justify this decision, lol; I’m just trying to rationalize it from All Might’s point of view. he was less than six years removed from his fateful battle with AFO in which the both of them were gravely injured. and yes, he said that he believed AFO had died from his wounds; but if he really thought that was true, why didn’t he listen to Nighteye and pass OFA on to someone else back then? why did he stubbornly stay in the field for as long as he could? his actions just don’t line up. if he really thought AFO was dead, you’d think he would have been able to retire in peace, as there wouldn’t have been such a great need for the Symbol anymore.

so honestly, what I’m learning towards here is that he didn’t really believe it, deep down. but once his powers really started to wane, he felt like he had no choice but to pass the quirk on to someone else and just hope for the best. and then, once he met Deku, I think he really started to want to believe it was true. because he empathized with Deku and he saw himself in him, and he wanted to give him that chance. Deku wanted so badly to be a hero, and All Might saw that he had the heart and the spirit of one, and only lacked the physical ability. and there All Might was, with a quirk he could bestow on him that could potentially make his dream come true. he wanted to believe he could do that. he convinced himself that the threat of AFO really was nonexistent -- after all, it had been six years! -- and that it wasn’t a burden he was passing down onto this child anymore, but a gift.

and so he didn’t tell Deku about AFO because he wanted to believe it wasn’t something Deku needed to know. so in this case it wasn’t just Deku he was essentially lying to, but himself as well. so yeah, not the best rationale in the world, but a very human mistake for him to make, and one that once again has its roots in wanting to protect Deku. or more precisely in this case, wanting to protect Deku’s dream. he wanted to believe it was all right for him to hand down this power which he so strongly believed that Deku deserved.

3. the Vestiges

honestly it’s a bit up in the air whether or not this one was really a secret, because All Might genuinely didn’t seem to realize that the Vestiges were conscious inside of OFA. or so he says at any rate. regardless, I’m going to include it in the list because he was definitely acting pretty cagey about the subject back during the sports festival, and I’ve never been fully satisfied with his explanation.

if you ask me? I think one of the reasons why he didn’t want to discuss this more in depth with Deku back then was because he was afraid it might inadvertently lead to some other topics that he wasn’t yet ready to discuss.

the idea of the previous OFA users living on inside the quirk is comforting in some ways, but that’s also a conversation that inevitably leads to the subject of AFO and AFO’s brother just for starters. not to mention Nana, whose death was deeply traumatizing for him and which I don’t think he was emotionally prepared to bring up just yet.

but I think the biggest factor that led to All Might being mum about this was the fact that he himself was included among the Vestiges. because I’m thinking he might have been a bit paranoid about avoiding a conversation like this:

All Might: “hey Midoriya-shounen, I just wanted to let you know that those weird little shadow figures you saw during your fight were the ghosts of the previous users of OFA, who are all living on inside of the quirk. my master once told me, 'even if I die one of these days, we can always meet again inside One for All.' so you know, that’s nice.”

Deku: “huh okay, so you’re telling me I have the souls of eight other people trapped inside my quirk, well that’s pretty trippy but I’m a weird little boy who lives for this kind of wild quirk shit so I’m okay with it! but it’s not like it matters though anyway since you’re still here to guide me haha! it’s not like you have any reason to suspect that might not be the case in the very near future, right?”

All Might: “...right.”

so yeah. once again, the reason for All Might keeping this a secret is because he doesn’t want to burden Deku. spoiler alert, the next two secrets also have the exact same reasoning behind them. in fact I’m just going to go and lump them both together.

4. Sir Nighteye, and 5. Sir Nighteye’s prophecy

so #4 is the one that actually finally set Deku off in the scene I posted earlier lol. and yeah, All Might should have told Deku, especially since it was inevitable that Deku was going to find out anyway. once he learned about Nighteye and All Might’s falling-out, him finding out about the prophecy was a given. and so once again I want to stress that I’m not actually trying to defend All Might’s decision here lol. just trying to relate to it.

anyway but that said, the reason why he didn’t tell Deku is pretty straightforward: he didn’t want to burden Deku with that knowledge. he knows Deku looks up to him. he knows that Deku looks to him for support. and All Might has spent his entire career doing everything he could to be that strong support for everybody, for the entire nation. he wants everyone to feel secure and safe. he wants nothing more than to be able to keep them safe. and it’s so hard, when you have that mindset, to let yourself show weakness and allow the cracks to show and to admit and accept that you can’t protect people from everything, no matter how bad you want to.

how do you tell the kid you’re mentoring, the kid who’s come to depend on you for so much, that there’s a good chance you might not be around much longer? that there’s a good chance he’ll be left to deal with everything all on his own, the same way that you were? how the hell do you even begin to approach that conversation? especially knowing what kind of person Deku is, on top of everything else. for a hero, someone who’s dedicated their whole life to helping and protecting others, nothing is more devastating than being told that something terrible is going to happen, and that no matter what, there is nothing you can do to change that fate. that alone would have been reason enough to not want Deku to know. he didn’t want him to experience that kind of helplessness.

and Deku is still just a kid!! Nighteye, a fully grown man and a hero with years of experience, completely fell apart after that prophecy. meanwhile Deku just started hero school less than a year ago. he’s only sixteen. he is far, far too young to have to deal with all of this. yes, he needed to know, both as a matter of trust and as a matter of practicality. but the fact that he needed to know is pretty fucking cruel on the universe’s part, and I get why All Might was so reluctant to tell him. I get it.

side note!! I feel like it’s worth mentioning that this one is still a secret as far as a certain other person goes. like, I feel that’s pretty noteworthy. pretty much every other person who knows about OFA also knew about Nighteye’s prophecy, including Rat Principal, Recovery Girl, Gran Torino, and Nighteye himself. (although it’s not clear whether or not Naomasa knows, come to think of it. but it’s likely, since All Might probably physically can’t lie to him lol.) and of course, Deku now knows as well.

but aside from Naomasa, there is one other person who’s notably missing from that list.

Kacchan knows about OFA and AFO, but neither All Might nor Deku have told him about the prophecy. even though Katsuki has firmly elbowed his way into the OFA Scooby Squad and knows about all sorts of other things including SIXQUIRKS and the Vestiges and all that jazz, and he’s been helping Deku train and has been included in pretty much everything for months now, he still doesn’t know about this.

and honestly, this might be the one time where I actually agree with All Might’s decision. I say that as someone who loves Katsuki to pieces and very much wants him to find out about this, because I’m mean and because I love angst. but once again, I get it, though. because you probably don’t want to tell the kid who was thinking this...

...that at the time, when you came to save him back at Kamino, you were thinking something like this:

yeah. I’m just saying. I don’t think it does Katsuki much benefit to know that All Might originally went out to Kamino fully expecting that it would be his last battle, and fully prepared to die the horrible death that Nighteye foretold. like, on the one hand there’s definitely an argument to be made that Katsuki should know about the prophecy just so that he’s prepared in case anything does happen, because he would then be the one to have to step up and replace All Might as Deku’s primary support. (and this is something All Might already seems to have been grooming him for in recent months, which is a bit of a red flag as far as All Might’s mortality prospects are concerned, but that’s another discussion for another day.)

but on the other hand, Katsuki is a pretty smart kid. and if and when he does find out about this, there’s a good chance he’s going to connect the dots and realize that Kamino was actually a hell of a lot riskier than All Might ever let on. and there’s close to a 100% chance that he starts blaming himself all over again if he ever learns that. I don’t think it would set him back too much, because he’s made a lot of progress, but I do think that even now it’s still something that he feels a lot of responsibility for. and so really this is just an additional burden that he doesn’t need to be carrying on his shoulders. Deku’s not the only one who’s still just a kid.

anyway! so tl;dr this is yet another case where All Might was keeping something a secret because he didn’t want to burden Deku. and is, in fact, STILL keeping it secret from Katsuki because he doesn’t want to burden him, either. basically just trying to protect both of these kids here.

6. Nana’s relation to Tomura

almost done with the list now! for real though, it’s crazy how many of these there are. how can one man have so many secrets. like seriously, calm the fuck down, All Might.

so! again, Deku should arguably have been told this as soon as it became clear that the responsibility of dealing with AFO and Tomura was going to fall to him. except, I guess, the thing is they didn’t think it was going to fall to him. or at least they hoped it wouldn’t. AFO was in Tartarus, and Naomasa and Gran were planning on hunting down Tomura and the League themselves. and Deku is just a high school kid with an internship. so in an ideal world, he would have never gotten near Tomura, and vice-versa. the adult heroes in BnHA may be inept as fuck, but I’ll give them credit where due: none of them wanted this kind of responsibility to ever fall on any of the kids until they were ready. even during this arc, the kids were all originally assigned to the evacuation teams, and the handful who were on the front lines were there because it was essential to the mission. and even then they pretty much had assigned babysitters (Midnight, Fatgum, etc.) shadowing them the whole time and ready to haul them back out as soon as their tasks were accomplished. like, don’t get me wrong, the child soldiers thing was and is still very fucked up, lol. but they were clearly trying to keep them out of harm’s way.

anyway! and so of course this applies to Deku as well. never mind that he’s All Might’s heir and well on his way to becoming more powerful than anyone could have ever dreamed. he’s still just a teenager. and we don’t send teenagers out to hunt the bad guys. we leave that to the adults, supposedly. and so in these guys’ minds, there really wasn’t any reason to tell Deku about the whole Nana/Tomura connection, because even if it was true, in their minds it’s not really relevant to Deku. they weren’t planning on him and Tomura becoming arch-nemeses. and so it was really just another thing that All Might presumably didn’t want to burden him with at the end of the day. “by the way, Midoriya-shounen, you should know there’s a possibility that Shigaraki Tomura is actually the grandson of my late mentor whom All for One killed.” that’s basically just a very unfun fact that Deku can do absolutely nothing about, except feel bad about it. it doesn’t change the fact that Tomura is still a mass murderer who’s eventually going to have to be captured or killed. so in All Might’s mind there’s really no benefit to telling Deku about any of this.

anyway! and so now finally, last but not least,

7. the Fourth OFA User

so now we finally get to the one secret we don’t actually know yet! OFA IV, and his whole mysterious deal.

All Might, after doing all that research on the previous OFA users and their quirks, suddenly changed his mind at the last second and decided not to tell Deku about this one specific user and his quirk (and notably, his cause of death). why is that?? “I don’t want to speculate and talk about things I’m not sure of...” really?? so you think the better option is for him to be unprepared and to not have any idea of what’s coming, then??

no, seriously. I’m seriously asking that. does All Might, in fact, think that it’s actually a better option for Deku to not know anything about the fourth user than for him to be aware of it. I am genuinely asking that question, because I truly suspect that this might actually be the case.

because, you see, that’s the pattern. if you look at all the other things he’s kept hidden either from Deku, or from others on Deku’s behalf, that’s the one thing they all have in common. he kept them secret in order to protect Deku. either to shelter him from the burden, or to keep him safe from people who might try to do him harm.

so I think it’s safe to say that even though we know absolutely nothing about this particular secret yet, it’s still going to follow that same pattern. All Might isn’t telling Deku about the Fourth yet either because he doesn’t want to burden him with something, or because he thinks there’s some other reason why Deku is better off not knowing.

here are a few other things we can extrapolate here:

All Might’s next line after this is “because I’m worried for him”, so yeah. whatever the reason, he’s trying to protect Deku somehow.

All Might has a history of avoiding truths he’s not ready to face yet, such as AFO still being alive. so even though he says here that he’s “not sure of” whatever it is he found, it’s very possible that he is in fact pretty sure of it, but just doesn’t want to believe it.

the fact that he wrote something down but then crossed it out would seem to support that as well. he says “not yet”, but I’m definitely not convinced that’s actually the case.

whatever this secret about the fourth user is, it’s something All Might isn’t willing to tell Katsuki either, even though Katsuki specifically presses him about it. this makes me think that it’s not just something shady or unpleasant about the fourth user’s past (like him being a villain for instance), because if it was just something like that, I don’t think he’d be so insistent on hiding it from Katsuki as well. and also that wouldn’t explain why he’s keeping the quirk a secret, especially since he knows Deku is going to manifest it at some point.

so my thinking is that it’s not something about the Fourth’s history, but rather something about his quirk. and after all, the Vestige storyline is mainly about the SIXQUIRKS anyway, so that tracks. and so if it is something related to the Fourth’s quirk, and this something also convinced All Might to hide the Fourth’s cause of death, I think the most likely explanation is that something about the Fourth’s quirk ended up killing him, and All Might fears that this quirk could potentially harm or kill Deku as well.

“but if the Fourth’s quirk is potentially dangerous, then wouldn’t it make more sense to tell Deku about it so that he can be prepared?” well, yeah. definitely it would. unless, of course, All Might has somehow concluded that the danger to Deku is actually GREATER if he knows than if he doesn’t know. in other words, the risk of the quirk manifesting with Deku unaware of what it is, is outweighed by the risk of Deku knowing and manifesting it on purpose.

and this, I think, is where the rest of Katsuki’s conversation with All Might in ch 284 comes into play:

All Might has no doubt observed the same thing himself. and so what I’m thinking is that this must be some kind of super high-risk, high-reward quirk that Deku, if he knew about it, would be tempted to use while battling someone like Tomura, even knowing there was a risk of it hurting or even killing him as well. this is Deku, after all. Deku, who takes himself out of the equation. Deku, who is ALREADY pushing himself to extremes with OFA and has been doing so from the start. Deku, who barring a miracle will be lucky to have even 1/10th of the normal function in his arms when this arc is said and done. and that’s just with normal, everyday OFA and Blackwhip and Float. if you were to go and add some sort of super-self-destruct quirk on top of all that?? jesus christ. they’d be picking up the pieces of what was left of him, probably.

so yeah. if this really does turn out to be the case, and the Fourth’s quirk really is a potential suicide quirk? I could absolutely understand why All Might would keep that hidden from him. once again, it’s all about protecting him and keeping him safe.

and it’s problematic though, for sure! and most likely futile just like all of his other secret-keeping efforts have been. at some point he’s just going to have to start trusting Deku to handle this stuff, and letting him know these things. like it or not, he’s not going to be a kid forever, and Destiny is currently being Thrust Upon Him at a fairly alarming rate! pretending like all of these threats will just magically go away all on their own is not it. if you didn’t want peril lusting over him at every corner then you shouldn’t have chosen a motherfucking Shounen Protag as your motherfucking heir, my dude.

anyway! so those are all of my thoughts about All Might and his secrets. I do think Deku is gonna call him out on it again soon, and I think All Might will be apologetic for not telling him about Tomura and Nana, but I don’t know if it will be enough to finally get him to change his ways and reveal everything else. he is an overprotective dad filled with anxiety over his trouble magnet son and his arm-exploding ways, and it’s a tough position for him to be in, knowing that either way there will be pain that Deku can’t avoid. it’s rough. anyways, maybe I’m too soft, but while I don’t necessarily want him to just keep getting free passes on everything, I kind of hope they don’t rake him over the coals too badly for it either. he means well!! he is doing his best. hopefully they can manage to talk it out, sob.

[zero00kiryu00]

MHA Unhealthy Habits Pt. 2

▵ To read part 1, click here.

▵ Again, these are personal headcanons. You do not need to agree with them, but please be respectful.

▵ TW for topics related to mental health. ▵

▵ This post contains manga spoilers from chapter 290 onwards. ▵

▵ This should come as a surprise to no one, but Momo, whether she realizes it or not, has a tendency to overthink things, obsessively so.

▵ She will overanalyze a situation, overthink any kind of plan until every single detail is laid out. It doesn't matter if it is something as simple as a trip to the mall with friends or if it's the groundwork for a villain attack.

▵ Momo will ask enough questions that by the time she's fully filled in the details of the plan, you could have an entire book of the day's schedule completely laid out.

▵ She will feel anxious if the plan doesn't follow the schedule.

▵ Tokoyami's habit is based on the backstory of the Hitachiin brothers in Ouran High School Host Club.

▵ Tokoyami, for as long as we know, has always had Dark Shadow by his side as soon as his quirk manifested. He has always had a friend nearby, someone that he can constantly rely on.

▵ It's not that he is skittish around other people, or that he doesn't welcome them around, but he is very purposeful in creating his own self-isolation.

▵ He always has someone nearby, so why would he need to rely on other people or have them constantly in his life? He already knows of someone he has a purely symbiotic relationship with -- Dark Shadow.

▵ They rely on each other, they know everything about each other already.

▵ Reaching out to others, explaining himself and his personality all over again, doing anything to branch out into friendships feels like a waste of time.

▵ Tsuyu's habit partly has to do with her quirk, as it's an involuntary act.

▵ Tsuyu has a habit of oversleeping, without even realizing that she does it, due to her natural inclination to hibernate as part of her quirk when it gets to be too cold in her environment.

▵ Granted, it would need to be quite cold for this to affect her, but in the wintertime, this is a very difficult thing for her to overcome. After all, for most frogs, hibernation begins once temperatures reach just under 32 degrees Fahrenheit, and with average temperatures for winter in Japan ranging from -10 to +7 degrees Celsius, it wouldn't be difficult for Tsuyu's quirk to take effect in the wintertime.

▵ Rousing her from her sleep is a difficult task for anyone.

▵ Sero is known amongst his peers as the class clown, often joking around with other students in 1-A and has even tried to crack a few jokes with Aizawa on occasion, which is almost always met with a deadpan stare.

▵ But every once and a while, Sero will crack a joke that falls flat and makes everyone in the room go quiet. No one knows how to respond to the odd joke Sero uses to cope with his problems.

▵ "Ah, I guess that one wasn't all that funny, was it?" He'll say, laughing nervously as he scratches at his neck, feeling tense with the awkward silence surrounding him. "Sorry about that."

▵ Similarly, whenever anyone cracks a joke that's directed at Sero, be it about something he said or did, or something related to his Quirk, Sero will laugh in the moment, but behind closed doors, he will crumble to the ground as the voice in his head nags at him, saying that none of his classmates actually like him.

▵ They wouldn't make jokes about him if they did, right?

▵ As the leader of the League of Villains, a lot of pressure is put on Shigaraki's shoulders into overturning hero society. All for One's confidence in Shigaraki's success is one of the largest factors in the responsibility he feels.

▵ He wants to impress his mentor, and ensure that he is worthy of the guidance and teaching, and later on All for One's quirk, that he received in order to make his dreams a reality.

▵ Shigaraki ties most, if not all, of his self-worth into his accomplishments.

▵ He becomes frustrated if even one thing goes against the plan, tearing himself up both figuratively and literally to punish himself for failing, time and time again.

▵ He does not want to leave room for error and will destroy himself in the process of having everything go perfectly.

▵ This may be the most obvious of all of these characters, but Dabi's unhealthy habit is his stubborn obsession with grudges he holds against the people in his life.

▵ Little Touya Todoroki was told endlessly that he would be the greatest hero Japan had ever seen, surpassing All Might, surpassing Endeavour, and rewriting hero history.

▵ Of course, he would hold a grudge against his own father for filling his head with dreams that would never be fulfilled.

▵ Of course, he would feel worthless and desperate for any kind of acknowledgement after he discovered that his body was not built to withstand his quirk.

▵ Of course, he would do anything, literally anything to prove his worth; to prove that he in fact could and would surpass All Might and Endeavour, no matter the damage done to his body or the consequences he would face.

▵ His obsession is part of his own self-destruction. His desire to prove himself, to make sure that he can actually do what was drilled into his head as a child, to do what he had trained to do, destroys him, inside and out.

▵ As a double agent, Hawks is very particular about the relationships he has with certain people and guards himself very closely.

▵ He is a phenomenal actor, having been trained under the Hero Commission to manipulate and extract information from both heroes and villains in order to keep the peace as best he can.

▵ Because of the distance he needs to keep between himself and those around him, Hawks has only ever had surface-level attachments to people; using them only when they are useful to him.

▵ This of course affects all of his relationships, friendships, and alliances both in the present and in the future.

▵ Hawks does not know how genuine contact with other people should play out, since he has only ever acted as the friend, the ally, or the partner for his missions, leaving him a very lonely individual.

[theartofdreaming1]

Slightly paraphrased, but Peeta talking about that moment he developed his crush on Katniss is just too sweet 😊

As usual, my thoughts regarding this week’s prompts and random thoughts on chapters 22-24 are below the cut (sprinkled in some psychology thoughts again).

heart

Honestly, I think the people in Panem would perceive the whole everlark storyline the same way we perceive and react to our ships on tv (desperately wanting to reach through the screen, shoving the characters forcefully together, screaming “And now, kiss!”); especially the Capitolites who barely recognize the tributes (or people in the districts, in general) as people. The people in the districts would definitely view the whole thing more under a “reality tv” kind of lens, questioning how much of the relationship is real or not (we know that Finnick certainly thought that the entire thing was just a spiel, until Peeta hit that forcefield). The time spent in the cave must have been pretty convincing, though.

mind

I think that Katniss is still torn here - On the one hand, she kind of wants to believe that Peeta is actually into her (remember the happiness she felt when Peeta told her how his crush on her began, and it all added up and seemed so real), but on the other hand she’s terrified of that possibility because A) lingering trauma from her mom’s depression in response the Mr. Everdeen’s death, B) Katniss never even considered falling in love, so that’s a sudden unexpected thing to deal with, and C) maybe it’s just for the sake of the Games; and wouldn’t that hurt, getting your hopes up only to learn it was only for show? (How about we ask Peeta about that?)

soul

Yeah, that quote about Peeta only eating stale bread also struck me as quite sad. It just further adds to his understanding how there should be more to life than just survival, though. (One day, I’ll make that post about Peeta, Katniss, and Maslow’s pyramid of needs, I swear! I’ve already gathered some research material)

Chapter 22

My mother’s hand strokes my cheek and I don’t push it away as I would in wakefulness, never wanting her to know how much I crave that gentle touch. How much I miss her even though I still don’t trust her. - Ugh, I can’t... Katniss misses her mom, misses being cared for😢 I’m so glad we’re going to see her patch up her relationship with her mom in CF... On a different note, Katniss craving that gentle touch just perfectly illustrates why she’s so drawn to Peeta, who is generally such a gentle soul (I mean, he’s literally the person stroking her cheek here 😊)

He [Peeta] doesn’t seem angry about my tricking him, drugging him, and running off to the feast. Maybe I’m just too beat-up and I’ll hear about it later when I’m stronger. But for the moment, he’s all gentleness. - As I was saying... 😉

“I’ll go hunting soon,” I say. “Not too soon, all right?” he says. “You just let me take care of you for a while.” - I love them so much😊🥰 And then Peeta makes sure she’s well-fed and hydrated, he rubs her cold feet and tucks her into the sleeping back... and she let’s him! 💗

“He [Thresh] let you go because he didn’t want to owe you anything?” asks Peeta in disbelief. “Yes. I don’t expect you to understand it. You’ve always had enough. But if you’d lived in the Seam, I wouldn’t have to explain,” I say. “And don’t try. Obviously I’m too dim to get it,” he says. - Oof. This exchange here is interesting in many ways: 1) it highlights their different experiences, tied to their different socioeconomic backgrounds, basically, and 2)  that Katniss is very much aware of this difference, but we also see hints of her own ignorance here - because Peeta didn’t have to starve in his childhood, she thinks that he can’t possibly understand this level of hardship; but there are other ways in which one can suffer/lack fundamental needs, which brings us to 3) Peeta’s response about being “obviously too dim to get it”; I think this is a clue to his mom being also verbally abusive towards him: she called him “stupid creature” when he burnt those loaves of bread for Katniss and when he’s losing it in the attic of the Justice Building in D11 in CF he is mad that Katniss and Haymitch keep things from him “like [he’s] too inconsequential or stupid or weak to handle them”, which - to me - sounds like he’s tired of being treated that way (i.e. the way his mother treats him)

“I want to go home, Peeta,” I say plaintively, like a a small child. - God, this is a teenager in a murder-arena who feels like wanting to go home is a childish notion instead of a totally legitimate wish for anyone in that situation, regardless of age 😢

It’s not that Peeta’s soft exactly, and he’s proved he’s not a coward. But there are things you don’t question too much, I guess, when your home always smells like baking bread, whereas Gale questions everything. What would Peeta think of the irreverent banter that passes between us as we break the law each day? Would it shock him? The things we say about Panem? Gale’s tirades against the Capitol? - Geez, Katniss, give Peeta some credit here! A) It’s not like Peeta can walk around District 12 talking publicly about the injustices happening there - she and Peeta hadn’t even talked with each other before the reaping, whereas Gale is her best friend who rants to her while they are outside the confines of D12 and B) Peeta is literally the one who introduced the whole “not a piece in their Games”-idea to her; why would he be clutching his pearls over Katniss and Gale’s irreverent banter?! Just because Peeta didn’t live on the brink of starvation (she again brings up how his house smells like bread and - at this point - still thinks that the family running the bakery actually gets to eat what they produce just like that), doesn’t mean he doesn’t see how shitty life in D12 is - he can still want better conditions for those who are worse off than him!

“I did do the right thing,” I say. “No! Just don’t, Katniss!” His grip tightens, hurting my hand, and there’s real anger in his voice. “Don’t die for me. You won’t be doing me any favors. All right?” - Well, we’ll see this song and dance again in CF...

And while I was talking, the idea of actually losing Peeta hit me again and I realized how much I don’t want him to die. [...] And it’s not about what will happen back home. And it’s not just that I don’t want to be alone. It’s him. I do not want to lose the boy with the bread.” - I wish CF Katniss would remember this moment when she is questioning her motives about saving Peeta’s life in the arena - You. Care. For. This. Boy! You. Value. Him. For. Who. He. Is!!!

This is the first kiss that we’re both fully aware of. [...] This is the first kiss where I actually feel stirring inside my chest. Warm and curious. This is the first kiss that makes me want another. - Whoo! Is it hot in here or is it just me? 😉

I’m struck by his immediacy now. As we settle in, he pulls my head down to use his arm as a pillow; the other rests protectively over me even when he goes to sleep. No one has held me like this in such a long time. Since my father died and I stopped trusting my mother, no one else’s arms have made me feel this safe. - He makes her feel safe in a murder-arena!!! 😭 This is the kind of stuff that makes everlark just a top tier romance, tbh

Peeta telling Katniss about his crush starting on their first day of school 🥰😭 - and her reaction to it... For a moment, I’m almost foolishly happy - yes, because you have a crush on him, too! - and then confusion sweeps over me. Because we’re supposed to be making up this stuff [...] So, if those details are true... could it all be true? - YESSSSSSSS!!!

“You have a... remarkable memory, “ I say haltingly. - as a severely socially awkward person... I felt that lame response in my bones 😅

“You don’t have much competition anywhere.” And this time, it’s me who leans in. - God, this would be such an amazing moment if it didn’t get tainted by that immediate sponsor gift, which just serves to muddle Katniss’s feelings with her sense of survival, further complicating her relationship with Peeta... *sigh* 

Chapter 23

“What was that you were saying just before the food arrived? Something about me... no competition... best thing that ever happened to you...” “I don’t remember that last part,” I say, hoping it’s too dim in here for the cameras to pick up my blush. “Oh, that’s right. That’s what I was thinking,” he says. - Peeta is the master of being a cheeky little shit and adorable flirt at the same time

“So, since we were five, you never even noticed any other girls?” I ask him. “No, I noticed just about every girl, but none of them made a lasting impression but you,” he says. - I appreciate that while Peeta has had a crush on Katniss forever, he clearly didn’t spend the entire time pining after her, oblivious to the rest of the world - he has a life outside of Katniss Everdeen, but ultimately, it all lead back to her

A disturbing thought hits me. “But then, our only neighbor will be Haymitch!” “Ah, that’ll be nice,” says Peeta, tightening his arms around me. “You and me and Haymitch. Very cozy. Picnics, birthdays, long winter nights around the fire retelling old Hunger Games tales.” “I told you, he hates me!” I say, but I can’t help laughing at the image of Haymitch becoming my new pal. - Laugh all you want, this is going to end up being your future anyway 😄

He [Haymitch]’s at something of a disadvantage because most mentors have a partner, another victor to help them whereas Haymitch has to bready to go into action at any moment. Kind of like me when I was alone in the arena. I wonder how he’s holding up, with the drinking, the attention, and the stress of tring to keep us alive. - Katniss is already worrying about her “new pal”, I see ;)

Maybe he [Haymitch] wasn’t always a drunk. Maybe, in the beginning, he tried to help the tributes. But then it got unbearable. It must be hell to mentor two kids and then watch them die. - Honestly, that sounds absolutely awful...

Poor, Katniss, when she learns of Thresh’s death :( - But no one will understand my sorrow at Thresh’s murder. - It’s horrible how compassion and basic human decency gets construed as ‘weakness’ in the world of Hunger Games (esp. the Capitol)

Then I escape into sleep, comforted by a full belly and the steady warmth of Peeta beside me. - Honestly, I think a word analysis of THG-series could be interesting; how often does Katniss mention “warmth”, “steady/steadiness” “safe/safety/security” in connection with “Peeta”?

“We make a goat cheese and apple tart at the bakery,” he says. “Bet that’s expensive,” I say. “Too expensive for my family to eat. Unless it’s gone very stale. Of course, practically everything we eat is stale,” says Peeta [...] Huh. I always assumed the shopkeepers live a soft life. And it’s true, Peeta has always had enough to eat. But there’s something kind of depressing about living your life on stale bread - Katniss is starting to realize that the lives of the merchants isn’t a cushy as she thought; also, in a way, we see a “prettier” version of how Panem treats the districts overall -> feeding the districts just enough that they can do their work (plus/minus a couple of people who’ll die of starvation, but at a small, for Capitolites insignificant margin), but not so much that they are in good shape to rebel; here, the merchants of D12 have just enough that they can live a “decent” life (they know it could be worse -> the Seam), but they don’t have enough to live a free, comfortable, self-determined life either. This also just further drives a wedge between the inhabitants of D12 (the merchants won’t want to rebel because they don’t want to get ‘demoted’ in their lifestyle, starving like the people from the Seam, and the Seam folk feel resentful towards the merchant people, while also not having the resources to rebel, due to their awful socioeconomic conditions)

What would be my life like on a daily basis? Most of it has been consumed with the acquisition of food. Take that away and I’m not really sure who I am, what my identity is. - It’s so sad who Katniss has been so consumed with ensuring that her most base needs are fulfilled that she barely has had the time to really figure out who she is and what she wants from life (If we’re talking Maslow’s pyramid of needs, Katniss would primarily be stuck on the lowest tier 😢)

At least, we’ll be friends, I think. Nothing will change the fact that we’ve saved each other’s lives in here. And beyond that, he will always be the boy with the bread. Good friends. - Honestly, Katniss counting on being good friends with Peeta after the Games is the highest honor she can bestow on him at that moment (she’s so into him, lol); of course, knowing that their relationship is going to be a bit rocky once they’ve come back makes this thought a little sad... but we also know they’ll make up (and out ;) in the future

Peeta licking his plate and blowing a kiss out to Effie is such an adorable goofball-moment 😊

I cover his mouth with my hand, but I’m laughing. “Stop! Cato could be right outside our cave.” He grabs my hand away. “What do I care? I’ve got you to protect me now,” says Peeta, pulling me to him. - This moment would be so cute (also, Peeta’s so confident in Katniss’s skills to protect him, which is adorable - toxic masculinity who?) but... Ugh, he’s just so giddy here, it kind of breaks my heart for when he learns later that (at least some) of Katniss’s reactions were just for show

“If we want food, we better head back up to my old hunting grounds,” I say. “Your call, Just tell me what you need me to do,” Peeta says. - Love how Peeta’s always ready to follow Katniss’s lead :)

Ideally, I’d dump Peeta now with some simple root-gathering chore and go hunt [...] “Katniss,” he says. “We need to split up. I know I’m chasing away the game.” [...] “Show me some plants to gather and that way we’ll both be useful.” - Teamwork! If it weren’t for Katniss worrying for Peeta’s safety, they’d be on the same page here

“What if you climbed up in a tree and acted as a lookout while I haunted?” I say, trying to make it sound like very important work. “What if you show me what’s edible around here and go get us some meat?” he says, mimicking my tone. - I really like how Peeta’s challenges Katniss here; he doesn’t just go along with everything she says, while still being quite reasonable

I feel like I’m eleven, again, tethered not to the safety of the fence but to Peeta, allowing myself twenty, maybe thirty yards of hunting space. [...] I allow myself to drift farther away, and soon have two rabbits and a fat squirrel to show for it. - I don’t know, but Katniss feeling tethered to Peeta makes me think of Mary Ainsworth’s attachment theory, according to which children with a secure attachment to their primary caregiver use  their “attachment figure as a safe base to explore the environment”... Of course, Ainsworth’s Strange Situation was conducted with young children, but attachment styles are supposed to influence the relationships we form with people in our later lives as well (including romantic relationships)... I dunno, just a random association that popped into my brain 😅

Chapter 24

Peeta’s a whiz with fires, coaxing a blaze out of the damp wood. - Heh, Peeta sure knows how to handle fire, huh, Katniss (or should I say: Girl on Fire?) 😏

I order him into the sleeping bag and set aside the rest of his food for him when he wakes. He drops off immediately. I pull the sleeping bag up to his chin and kiss his forehead, not for the audience, but for me. Because I’m so greateful that he’s still here, not dead by the stream as I’d thought.  - Aww, this is so sweet (and domestic)!

It’s funny. I feel almost as if it’s the first day of the Games again. That I’m in the same position. [...] But no, there’s the boy waiting beside me. I feel his arms wrap around me. - They are a team! Katniss doesn’t have to face the horrors of the Games alone anymore! It keeps boiling down to this.

[sepublic]

The Bad Batch’s Coming of Age

        Just... Omega willingly went back to Kamino to save Hunter, after he promised he’d never let anyone take her there! And nobody forced Omega to, Hunter DID protect her in that regard... She went of her own volition to save HIM, and not because he failed to save her!

        When Hunter made his promise, we all thought someone would eventually capture Omega anyway... But no, in a rather telling and mirrored coming-of-age moment, she chooses go back to Kamino on her own terms and agency, with her own friends and family- Because she’s going to give Hunter that same promise herself now!

        The fact that Omega has grown, that she can now decide for herself what to do- That she can go to Kamino as she pleases, this once-dreaded place of imprisonment, and choose to head there... Choose to return of her own free will, which means Kamino is no longer a prison for her, but a place Omega has the power to enter and leave willingly. Not that she’s going to be coming back anytime soon after that, but...

        She has basically conquered her past, a place where she had no freedom and control- And returned a victor with the family that’d help her, with the power to go about as she pleases, to save Hunter. Omega has freed Hunter from his imprisonment there, as well as Crosshair in the process- The one clone she left behind and couldn’t do anything for.

        ...Omega really HAS grown, hasn’t she? She’s no longer a scared kid but coming back to Kamino like it’s her own damn place to conquer... It’s just too bad there’s nothing to left to go back to. What a metaphorical death for Tipoca City, once a cradle for Omega, a childhood cage... And now that she’s grown up and is free, she’s gotten to visit it one last time, free Crosshair and Hunter, before she leaves it behind forever, in the depths of the ocean.

        Displaced, forced to grow up and leave behind home- Not many clones can say they were able to do this on their own terms, that’s for sure. Again, I keep saying it- But with Omega being a kid, with the Bad Batch and clones in general being so young... It really is a coming-of-age story as they learn to leave behind their upbringing, their ‘parents’ in the form of the institution that fed and housed them, gave them purpose.

        And now they’ve grown to find a sense of independence, and their OWN place in this galaxy... They’re growing up now, when for years they’d stagnated, in contrast to their accelerated physical growth. The Bad Batch and others have stepped out into the world for themselves and get to explore who they are... Even Crosshair, who fell back on that ‘upbringing’ to give him a familiar sense of purpose and structure.

        But that’s not the family that made him feel like he belonged, it was the Bad Batch. THEY made him feel like a part of something, the Kaminoans nor the Empire ever provided that. He and the clones lived for each other, and less the literal purpose of their creators. And now Crosshair has the chance to leave and grow up, and find himself like the rest have.

        I guess it’s fitting. With all of the themes of adolescence, childhood, nurturing and cradles- Of parenthood, as shown with Hera and Cham and Eleni... Cut and Suu Lawquane with their kids. Guardians such as Fennec, familial ties one is born into, as they try to make a name for themselves with Roland Durand. Kids like Muchi growing up and being freed, returned to those who DO care... This really IS a story about growing up, about the familiarity of the womb and leaving that.

        It’s about parents and ‘mothers’ like Nala Se, and it’s a show that really delves into the messed up realization; That the clones are all really still kids, who are being abandoned by their ‘parents’ and now have to fend for themselves, and figure things out together.

        Because they’re not alone, they’ll always have each other, and they go back for each other- Rex for Gregor, Hunter for Omega, and now vice-versa in a full-circle moment. Just like how Rafa and Trace lost their parents and were abandoned by both the Republic and Empire, these two siblings still have each other. It’s a story of mentors and guardians, unconventional such as Cid...

        This very much IS a story about growing up, in a new and unfamiliar world- And looking back now, at the more complete picture that is the nearly-completed first season, I much more appreciate it now. It’s about making new friends and connections (such as the Lawquane kids and Hera, children of Omega’s age) and fending for yourself, but also your true family who always have your side, because eventually they’ll always come back for you;

        Just as Avi Singh saw himself as responsible for Raxus, and vowed to return one day, as an older figure whom the people trusted... Just as the people of Ryloth look towards Cham Syndulla as a guiding figure, as Hera has a mentor in Gobi Glie as well. Caleb had his own mentor and arguable mother figure in Depa Billaba, who taught him as his master, only to lose her; But he’ll find his family with Hera eventually, who will also have something to say about losing her own mother.

        ...Star Wars really IS about family, and finding that- Either lost and biological, and/or found, making that for yourself. Omega lost her family in the Bad Batch since they were too young to remember, only to reunite years later when they were adults- And I’m sure she can resonate with Crosshair on feeling like she lost her family and was left alone, only to reunite after all this time, reintroducing herself of her own accord. A dark parallel that is mirrored with Crosshair also initiating a reunion of his own, too.

        Star Wars is about death and endings, but also new beginnings- The Republic died and the Empire was born, yes... But there’s always another generation, a new hope so to speak, to nurture and look forward to. Look ahead, and don’t cling to the past- That’s a very Jedi mantra, is it not?

        The time has passed, now to move on and embrace change, a new beginning... And eventually an end that will repeat the cycle, over and over. Child is nurtured by parent, only to grow up and become a parent themselves, with their own child- As they remember lovingly how they were raised and grew up, and continue that sense of love and familiarity to others as well.

        The spark lives on like in any Rebellion, a true passing of the torch. I can genuinely see this show ending with a similar cycle as things come around for Omega, as she came back around for Hunter- As Omega is grown up in an epilogue and becomes a mentor and parent to someone else. In a weirdly poetic sense, her experience of watching her younger siblings become her older parents, has now been mirrored in herself.

        And she fondly, sweetly remembers those who cared for her, as she sees herself in this new kid, and becomes a parent like those who raised her. Just like old times... Just as Din Djarin raises Grogu, this is a story of parenthood and family, and growing up. That familiar dynamic and love will always live on, even as the people in the roles pass and change. It truly is a timeless tale, a story from a long time ago made modern and ever-new, just as the Force transcends time itself.

[lafayetteworld]

Robin 2021

Okay, so it's been a while since I've been actively posting on tumblr, mainly because I haven’t had time. That being said, the commentary I am about to make on the Robin 2021 series is not meant to offend anyone and while I am particularly critical, I also acknowledge that some people genuinely like it/prefer the direction its's going in. And that's fine. But I did want to break down why I feel the current series is just 'meh' to me at the moment and it’s not necessarily because Damian is potentially being shipped with a newly introduced character.

Please be aware, that there are lots of spoilers. 

So, to start off, I am a big fan of the older Batman and Robin (2009) series, where Damian had partnered up first with Dick and later Bruce (2011). I do no think they are flawless, certainly. I think, in particular, the Nobody plot - excluding of course the interactions between Batman!Dick and Robin! Damian which are gold - was very good. In just a handful of issues, I think we were offered a great insight into Damian's character and how layered he is. 

My first thoughts when I heard about Robin 2021, based on the announcement: Damian will follow his own path, for some reason he retains the Robin moniker which is weird but okay, it does seem like something he'd do I suppose. He will participate in mortal kombat-sort-of-tournament, which will showcase his abilities and in the process, 'he will seek his own destiny' (which I believe was a line used in the actual announcement). The reason he wants to win? Initially, it appeared to be only because he wanted to prove to be the world's best fighter -- which by the way, how is only a tournament of this level only coming up now? Anyways, ignored that. Not a big deal. The idea of watching Damian fight different opponents was appealing either way.

The art of those comics is perhaps nowhere as striking/appealing as Robin 2021 and there's certainly not as many elements to it, but there was just something about it. I stopped reading comics after, for reasons I can't recall but I do remember finding out that Damian was killed off sometime after. I was super heartbroken over it but luckily I found out about it right around the time DC decided to bring him so really I had to wait a short while to see the little shit being Robin again.

I am not as familiar with the arc on Alfred's death but I know Damian watched what was basically his grandfather figure die in front of his eyes. How it was addressed after was rather poorly and that's a discussion for another time, just as it is that hot mess of Gleason's Titans.

 My hopes may have been too high in thinking we will be offered the introspection we'd seen in Batman and Robin, or him deciding what type of vigilante he wants to be. Like who remembers Damian admitting 'sometimes I don't know who I am or what I want' or him saying he does not wish to be like Nobody. That was so poignant.  

First issue of Robin 2021 was a disappointment. I know that there's a lot of damage to the character that had to be addressed but why did he die from like the beginning? Why is it the first thing we see is the author's OC defeat him? I mean, we really didn't need that to find the tournament's rules. Anyway, I was so sold on the art that I could have overlooked all that, except then the art became inconsistent so.....

Do I think Flatline's design is awesome? Yep. Do I like that she is potentially a badass female fighter? Sure. Do I like her abilities? Somewhat? They haven't been explored that much. But to me, having an OC appear out of nowhere and kill the character I was hoping to watch mature/develop is a bit underwhelming. Then, we start getting references of how poetic it is that Damian may fall in love with the first girl that kills him. I thought it was funny at the beginning but subsequent issues only seem to point that actually, the author does want to use Flatline/romance in this journey of growth that Damian is undergoing. I mean, we really shouldn't be romanticizing that she killed him? The girl is serious about winning too. That she caught him off guard is actually rather awesome but I don't think it had to mean anything more than Damian meeting a potentially dangerous fighter and that he needs to be less reckless.

Damian is a pretty complex/difficult character with a lot to figure out. Why does he need a girlfriend? Why can't he have friends that helps him grow or mentor figures? Him and Rose have such a great dynamic, for example.

I see a lot of people saying 'well, he's a teenager boy so it's normal'. Yeah of course it is. But why can't it be the opposite? Damian isn't a normal teenager. Out there, may be teenagers who feel the same. They don’t care about this stuff. 

It is so frustrating, and underwhelming. Not because there's anything wrong with Damian having a crush. Not because there's necessarily anything wrong with Flatline. But because there's no need.

Why is it just because he's a teenager he has to have a romantic interest? If romance is introduced in a plot, surely it doesn't have to be just because 'he's a teenager'. And if he does, why does it have to be an OC that hasn't been explored very well? Flatline could be a seriously cool character without needing to be a romantic interest for Damian and vice versa, Damian has so much to figure out on his own. So for me it's not the shipping that’s an issue, it’s the reasoning and how it may perpetuate clichés when there’s other angles that could be explored. 

Also, why the hell is Alfred used to drive Flatline's likeability? If Alfred is Damian's guilt manifesting, then that's actually Damian thinking that?

'I like this one, Master Damian.'

Seriously. I really hope we end up finding out that was tied in with Flatline's ability or something. So, Williamson won't explore Damian's guilt over Alfred but he'll give us a panel where Alfred (or a manifestation of him) is basically giving his thumbs up for his OC. That doesn’t sit well with me. Not so early in the series, anyway. 

Why is this whole manga thing keep coming back? Yes, Damian reads manga. I loved this addition and I think it's great that Williamson actually brought it in. The fact that it was Flatline who found it seems cliché. And no, I don't think it's a parallel between the shojo manga characters and them two. I really hope that particular manga has a deeper meaning than that. The fact that we keep seeing the blood sprayed (or is it cuts? not sure) on it does seem to hint at that.

There were some good moments. Damian and Dick. Basically every single interaction between Damian and Ravager. The whole Damian and Conner could have been developed better, because it seemed rather sudden they had a heart to heart when Damian can be such a distrusting little shit. Damian reuniting with Goliath.

Why is it that we're five issues into this series and it's all over the place? I don't dislike it. The art is great, although there's so many inconsistencies. But it's been super hard to feel in any way about it other than just 'meh'.

Issue #6 was boring. I didn't mind Flatline and Damian analysing other fighters, it was interesting actually, but that it's still being framed as heading towards a romantic relationship is so.....well, eugh.

Overall, I just don't feel there's enough...substance? Damian does interact with a wide variety of characters and there are a lot of things going on - batfamily searching for him, Ra’s Al Ghul (which was funny yet so odd the way he was characterized), the whole tournament and magic island, so on.

Flatline is not the issue for me, but rather one part of why the series has not managed to appeal to me. I do feel there's a bit too much of her. Or rather, there's not enough of her as a character and too much of the whole 'they're teenagers so they'll have to end up having a crush on one another because he's a boy and she's a girl who literally stole his heart'. Like, I wouldn’t mind having Flatline or other fighters background explored, just to see the types of people they are and so on. 

I wish there'd more of Damian's inner thoughts too. If not that, then give us more fights. Not just snippets. It's a tournament. Let's see how badass they all are. Damian’s fight scenes in #6 were beautiful but brief. I hope the next issues will give us more of that.  As someone who does like Damian x OC fics, I can’t blame the author for wanting to hype their own OC, but I am also a great fan of friends to lovers, slow burns, friendships can be just as great as romantic relationships, of taking the time for mental/emotional growth. 

Anyways, if you've made it to the end of this commentary, I applaud you. Once again, if you do like the whole Damian x Flatline thing, that's cool. I don't, but I do understand to an extent why people find it appealing. And if you think the Robin 2021 series is amazing, then I am happy for you -- I wish I could be this enthusiastic about it.

P.S just saw the cover for issue #7 or is it #8 ? I think I may cry.

[wolfsneedles]

about daenerys not knowing how she can and fulfills the criteria of so many prophecies if we exclude other and maybe is the candidate for at least AA and YMBQ prophecies, if not all. Thinking about how rhaegar, her brother and other targaryen ancestors were educated about the glory and their need to have dragons, how their worth was tied to magical aspect of asoiaf and dragons of their house, hatching of eggs and failed experiment, how the post dance of dragon was like the depressing years of targaryens since their golden age ended in a lot of ways as they had in prev years, soaring on their dragons and seeing the entire westeros below them, taking trips to KL and coming back to dragonstone, thinking about also how dragonstone wasn't inhabited later after post dance era by anyone when the dragons died one by one and aegon the third reigns also ended and how aegon the fifth had different taste to his rule but he also was intrinsically tied to the glory of their house: dragons. Also wondering how dragonstone was actually never resting house for post dance targs until some ot few only preferred to stay there (i loved how aegon the one , always spent time there too) until rhaella and viserys were sent on ship by aerys with willam derry (not to mention dany is the only sibling born in the midst of smoke ruins and salt sea, dragonstone)

anyways abt danys childhood education being strictly limited to one mentor in his life her brother who well, wasnt really an accommodating man later, she grew with viserys who himself wasn't too much of magical man believing in prophecies, thinking abt how dany never interacted with rhaegar either and neither did rhaella and aerys might have know their exiled daughter would bring dragons back to world, considering if everyone thought rhaegar was the last dragon, and dany is solely educated by viserys and learns rest on her own, SHE dreams about dragons, eggs, her ancestors calling her to fly in AGOT, its all prophetic and so magical for her and she does it so effortlessly without even knowing there is a prophecy about cersei that links her to westeros and cersei' worst fears (hot i think) and their is AZHOR AHAI prophecy which we assume for jon or dany both but apparently stannis is the one who is just parading in it (so far, thanks to mels wrong interpretation but it could be obv grrms biggest way of subverting expectations).

(makes her diff from rhaegar too in a way he is this dreamy idealistic character that tried too hard to make or restore the dignity of his house if not his whole house but misinterpreted probably and erred, yet dany is the similar sibling to him, but has effortless control on her urges too and brought dragons something i see as her biggest accomplishment (hard fangirling)

Its really bizarre she doesn't know half of the things or important prophetic indications that can point to her, she doesn't know how her ancestors also tried to bring dragons to the world but failed with their experiments, but she singlehandedly with blood ritual, bought them and hatched them for which in a way, it was necessary for her unborn son rhaego viserys and drogo to die. Excluding her son, who was innocent and her baby, her husband and brother, we thought who were gonna be her protectors and for long time she thought viserys might sit on the throne and get the crown, he is still in her eyes the last dragon, but the death of patriarchal figures jn her life one by one esp these two changed her, so much, it birthed her in a way, and made her new. She literally can be the prophetic hero and she still doesn't know. 😭💞

(i think about her meeting jon together too, because aemon met jon and dany never knew aemon as a targaryen, but aemon knew the prophecy change regarding the prince that was promised, and danys dragons. its all so beautifully connected sometimws bw jon and dany)

[child-of-hurin]

Dark Narn AU

Recently I mentioned I had some ideas for a Dark Narn AU and @outofangband  expressed curiosity, so I decided to copypaste my notes here :)

The reason this AU was conceived was that I wanted Túrin and Nienor to get buddy buddy with Gothmog and Glaurung…. Literally my motivation for this lmao.

WORD OF WARNING:

1. This is almost 3 pages long on Gdocs 😭 2. This is actually dark, so mind yourself. CW for mentions of nonconsent, manipulation, murder, slavery, the whole nine yards and, of course, incest.

And btw, this relies on my headcanon/understanding that there were mortal slaves in Angband as well as elves.

When teenage Húrin and Huor are cornered by orcs in Brethil, they are in a dense spot. Húrin stays behind to hold the orcs while Huor runs up the hill. Huor would never have left his brother behind, but it’s a mess and he doesn’t realize what happened until he’s being carried away by other soldiers/rescuers and screaming his lungs out for Húrin, who’s pulled back by the orcs and then taken captive to Angband.

There he undergoes some brainwashing by Melkor, who, true to the essence of their Narn interactions, sees he can profit more from corruption than from killing this agent. By this point Húrin is a teen and hasn’t met Turgon yet. He breaks eventually and becomes Melkor’s champion. 

We have Húrin, and now we need Morwen. To keep the chronology, I prefer having her be captured during a raid on Emeldir’s group of refugees, when they’re migrating west to escape the Battle of the Sudden Flame; that can also have Rian either being captured as well, or escaping and following canon and marrying Huor and mothering Tuor, which I prefer for this AU (also casts a shadow on them as… replacements for the true heirs, sort of! Both having dear family members, who are also the eldest and the legitimate heirs, captured by Morgoth). Either after his brainwashing is complete, or during it, she is given to Húrin to marry as a token of Melkor’s regard: Morwen the beauty, the heir of the House of Bëor, the only fitting consort for the heir to the house of Hador, etc. Túrin is born in 464.

Lalaith is born two years later, which is a weird year because that’s when Beren and Lúthien steal one of Melkor’s silms! Angband has never been more somber, but there is talk of hope among the slaves, of which Morwen hears some, as well as the name of Beren her kinsmen who she knows and loves. She’s fiercely proud of him. But then Húrin, who is head over hells smitten with her, but who’s still wary of her loyalties, casually mentions in bed at some point that Beren was killed by Carcharoth (a lie meant to shake her/destroy any hopes of rescue), and that despite the loss of the Silmaril, Melkor is somewhat satisfied that the whole ordeal ended up dividing the elven kingdoms further apart, and confides in her about some of the plans for the following war (Unnumbered Tears).

The very next day, Morwen kills Urwen. She knows how other female thralls fare, and she knows that as soon as Húrin is dead Melkor would have no more use for them. Like canon, better dead than a thrall. To her, killing Urwen is not only a mercy, but an act of love. I think Morwen was about to end her own life too, or maybe end Túrin’s, but they caught her before she did any more. Maybe she locked herself with her children in a bedroom, ready to off all of them, and someone intervened before she could.

This sends Húrin into a rage out of despair because he really dotes on Urwen no matter the AU, and Túrin takes it all pretty hard, as he adored his sister and feels betrayed and confused. Melkor ofc enjoys the opportunity to turn Húrin even more towards him, and encourages him to get another child from Morwen to make up for the one he lost, whether she wants it or not. 

In this AU Niënor is conceived (at least) nine months before the Unnumbered and not nine months later. During all the pregnancy Morwen is watched, to make sure she won’t do anything drastic. Túrin is one of the people keeping tabs on her. Morwen names her Niënor, lamentation, and instead of being offended, Húrin laughs and says it’s an appropriate name for a warrior that shall bring woe to her foes, who will lament upon seeing her. Morwen is forbidden to be alone with Niënor and they are closely watched; as a result, they aren’t very close in this hc, as opposed to canon.  Niënor grows up being reminded that her mother wants to kill her, never wanted to conceive her in the first place.

Both Túrin and Nienor have strong mommy issues. Túrin is always keeping Morwen company and they have a very similar temper, but he tries to keep his visits a secret from Nienor. Nienor loves Túrin enormously but confronts him when she learns he still visits Morwen; also I think she sees Morwen in Túrin a little, too, because they’re so similar. It drives her mad. There’s a lot going on here with sibling competition / possessiveness / jealousy; Nienor doesn’t want Túrin to get along with Morwen, against whom she has a big grudge; she also doesn’t like that Morwen gives to Túrin the love she has always denied Niënor (according to how Niënor perceives the situation). She wants Túrin to choose her but Túrin just evades the question or gets angry and they fight. 

I like the idea of Húrin heading the fight against mortals in the Unnumbered, and him and Huor meeting on the battlefield, and killing each other. 

Túrin is crazy about Nienor, though you wouldn’t guess it by looking. Not only they’re the only mortals around who are equals and thus relatable on any level, he projects a lot of his Urwen grief on her and is very protective and possessive. There’s a lot of unresolved tension that they don’t even acknowledge. When they’re together onlookers get a feeling like there isn’t space for anyone else - though Morwen is an always-felt presence and the only crack in their bond. Túrin is stoic and reserved and his canon obsession with fighting Melkor is changed into a type of family pride. Right now I think he’s really mad that Dor-Lómin was given to the Easterlings and his mistrust of Melkor grows. He’s also concerned with the hidden elf cities, especially Nargothrond and Doriath because of their ties to the Silmaril heist. 

In this AU Túrin (and Húrin before he dies) is buddies with Gothmog who is sort of a mentor to him, and Nienor has a great friendship with Glaurung, whom she rides on sometimes, maybe into battle. 

I had considered the idea of either Túrin or Nienor meeting Gwindor by accident on the woods and goading him and fooling him, following him until they got the path to Nargothrond, while the other sibling followed them from afar. One sibling goes into the town and the other comes with the army down on them, no need for bridges I guess. Or the bridge can be deliberate sabotage. Since I like Nienor riding Glaurung, it can be Túrin who goes in, as in canon - OTOH idk how good Túrin can be with deception no matter the AU, so maybe it is Nienor... though, really, is she any better? Also, would she have a voice in council? How sexist are they? Maybe if she got Gwindor’s ear somehow… idk, thoughts!

Anyway, Finduilas is captured and not killed, though I’m not sure how much better this is. Maybe both Túrin and Nienor take her for consort in a smoking hot, nonconsensual, incesty edain sandwich. 

I haven’t thought ahead of this yet, that’s all I have! They need to have a cool and tragic ending, though I’m still unsure how. I feel like they need to fall with Brethil, but then I’m unsure what happens. Also I really don’t want Túrin and Nienor to have a permanent falling out and dying hating each other, it’s not my thing. I feel like they need to die together, like in canon. 

Things to consider:

>> Tuor and Aerin as kin who are held captive. Do Túrin and Nienor know they exist and are there? If they do, how do they react?

>> Morwen + other mortal thralls, or maybe Morwen + having ELVISH thralls to serve her, which Melkor does to show Húrin how much he honors him bla bla. I love this concept.

>> Húrin and Gothmog banter, Gothmog warming up to the mortal once he sees him being an absolute savage in battle, Húrin and Gothmog competing to see who causes more havoc

>> Glaurung is super mean to Morwen once and that tickles Nienor so much she just gets attached to him. Nienor joking with Túrin that she rides a dragon (Glaurung) and he is ridden by one (the dragon helm of Dor-lómin)

>> Gurthang???? I think Túrin needs a black sword. I’m SUPER attached to the visuals of Nienor using an axe though.

[24-guy]

So. The tales of the smp thing.

Cw:// minor amounts of swearing (one mild word)

I don't usually put my two cents into things like this, keeping my theories to myself and all that since my friends don't watch the smp or anything like that.

And just a fair warning, this is going to be a long post so you can skip this if you're looking for other things. I don't know how to put the "read more" cut on the post.

I want to talk about what the significance of John John (ranboo) dying in the most recent tales thing. As far as I can see, nobody has said anything along the lines of what I'm thinking but I have just woken up and I went to bed immediately after the episode, with my brain going brrr.

Long story short: I think ranboo is going to die.

And I mean, lose a life and everyone thinks he's dead because he goes somewhere else when he dies.

My evidence;

The wild west episode had little explicit lore in it. The masquerade had the egg, very obviously, and the city of mizu is a future city with a shit ton of ties to ranboo, what with him saying he'd like to build an underwater city one day and ranbob and all of that.

Now. The egg said to techno on the 13th that he looked familiar and if the egg knew him. It could just be a joke at the fact that techno didn't change his skin for the masquerade one very much, but it could also be because, in canon, both billiam and techno are pig men.

How does this lend into ranboo potentially dying?

The past tales episodes predict the future.

It's instilled into us time and time again that the past keeps repeating itself.

Even in minor things.

The thing repeating itself now is the egg. It's repeating it's hold on the world.

So if ranboo died, then that could happen in the future.

"But it could have been an accident".

To that I say, no. Karl chose to have ranboo go up. It was planned. And usually, correct me if I'm wrong, but usually ranboo is a pretty good shot. Meaning it was intentional that his character was a bad one.

I know I'm doing a lot of reaching here, but yeah.

Now I'm gonna spill my thoughts on the egg.

Specifically the interactions with techno and ranboo. Because it seemed odd to me how it interacted with them.

Usually, the egg has to be interacted with for you to hear it; tommy started destroying it, sam is a spy, bad and ant are completely possessed, you get it.

But techno hadn't. Yet it started talking with him. This probably means it's getting stronger. Now. As I said before it said techno looks familiar, referencing to billiam, most likely. This could be why it was trying to show more of an authority to techno, saying "silence" after techno and that were beginning to go off topic, trying to control the situation but clearly failing because techno is just that type of person.

It began speaking to ranboo in a worse way as well, instead of asking what ranboo wanted, it picked at the little things nagging at ranboo himself. I remember seeing somewhere that apparently the egg called ranboo a slave, but I don't know how true it is. If it is true, then that could explain the more intimidation based tactics the egg tried to use, since the egg could be thinking that ranboo, who literally followed techno around during that stream, was the butler.

It seems that the egg is getting caught up in what and who it does and doesn't know.

I know that a lot of this is reaching so far I have to have a ladder to get there but even so, it's just something weird I noticed.

That's all. Sorry for the long post. I did like ranting though, so maybe I'll do it again. This is just two episodes of the tales series so, maybe I could try again.

Edit:

It's just occurred to me that I never said where I think ranboo is going to go.

Personally, I don't think he's going to go to the inbetween. My first thought was like... A recreation of The End, so he didn't get the achievement because, like, what if he actually came from there in the first place. But then I realised, no. That wouldn't make sense and would be very difficult to pull off with the ender dragon being there and the endermen. So what if he re-appeared at a completely different location in the server, one that maybe prompts him to start building a certain underwater city. Maybe the cause of death was because everyone found out about him trying to break dream out of prison, with how it seems the storyline is going currently, and that underwater city is the one place that nobody has a chance of anyone finding him. He writes down everything about everyone he knows, the most unreliable narrator picturing stories of men who can lift mountains. And his ancestors think he had the best memory since he wrote everything the city was founded on. Each story of his friends being told through this single lense that we, as the audience, know is unreliable due to memory problems. So it would make sense as to why mizu would think ranboo had the best memory. Everything they know came from him.

Shoot. Edit 2:

The consequence of ranboo dying. I keep forgetting to finish my thoughts in this. But this is the last one, I think.

Forgive me, for I only wish for wholesome family interactions. And this certainly is one.

It seems like techno and ranboo are a reccuring thing in the tales thing. With techno, there's also ranboo. Which makes sense, they're friendly in real life I assume and their smp characters are friends. But they also retain that mentor-mentee bond throughout the timelines too. Techno and ranboo, billiam and the butler, now the sheriff and John. This could be just like, "oh yeah. They're friends, it makes sense that they'd be friendly in the tales things too" if it wasn't for tubbo. Anyone who watches any of ranboo or tubbo's streams pretty much knows that they're practically best friends now, which is a really really nice dynamic. I love it. Now. If it was just real life friendship causing the friendly interactions between the sheriff and John then explain why tubbo's character, percy, is the one mainly picking on john.

Could be friendship, and a silly one at that, but you know. Reaching here.

Not to mention, the sheriff is the first one who reacted and reached where john died and reacted the worst, via... Milk... Drinking... Competition... Apparently? I don't know. It's very silly.

So. My thought process here is that we know techno and Phil are indifferent to ranboo's actions when he sleep walks, and we know techno knows about the voice now and he doesn't seem to care. We also know that ranboo trusts techno due to that shared commonality of voices in their heads.

So I think that, if ranboo dies, then techno and Phil are gonna have some words. Maybe moreso techno than phil because techno really seems to be warming up to everyone's favorite enderboy recently and I don't think that's without good thought. Techno very easily could get ranboo to go away if he wanted, but he's fooling himself at this point. He wasted no time hesitating giving ranboo his only trident to save him from the egg, was constantly trying to get him away from it when they were in the same room, ect.

So two possibilities for ranboo's potential death, have arisen:

1) The rest of the smp find out that ranboo has been trying to break dream out of prison.

2) ranboo tries to destroy the egg, maybe it grows slightly bigger and he doesn't bring enough totems to live through destroying it, as we see it causes damage to him to break it's blocks.

So yeah. Ranboo dies and techno decides that something needed to be done in dramatic techno fashion. I'm not sure what that is yet, but yeah.

[littlemisssquiggles]

What do you think of the idea of Emerald/Oscar? They have some soft moments together.

Hello Sweet o/ Well this squiggle meister is definitely on-board with the Green Team/Emerald City pair as a FRIEND-ship with Emerald being yet another proxy big sister figure to “adopt” Oscar as their close companion whereas the little prince in turn could finally provide Emerald with the strong and devoted family type of bond that Emerald truly wants and failed to garner from the villain side especially with Cinder Fall who she saw as a “mother” or close guardian figure who saved her from her former life of poverty.

Another reason why I like the Emerald City duo is because I’d like to think that part of Oscar’s willingness to believe in Emerald and desire to look out for her stems from him and Oz essentially fulfilling Hazel’s role of continuing to watch over her in his absence.

After all, it wasn’t just Oscar to be saved from Monstra. Emerald was too. Hazel Rainart gave his life to ensure that both Oscar and Emerald were finally free of Salem and since Hazel is gone, Oscar probably sees it as his right to stand by Em in his place; especially since he also owes her for his salivation.

Plus, a second reason why I think the showrunners may be pushing the Emerald City bond is because, ultimately, Emerald will become the next Fall Maiden; replacing Cinder Fall. 

Think about it. Professor Ozpin was the Headmaster of Beacon Academy. Beacon Academy is the fortress secretly housing the Vault of the Fall Maiden which contains the Crown of Choice---the only relic that Salem couldn’t acquire on her own since the true path to claiming it still rests in Ozma’s memories. Memories that will soon be passed onto Oscar Pine who is Ozma’s current incarnate officially succeeding Professor Ozpin.

Even if Oscar gains the knowledge to locate the Relic of Choice; he and the heroes would still need the hand of the Fall Maiden to open the vault. And as it stands, the Fall Maiden powers still rest with Cinder Fall who Emerald Sustrai was a former affiliate of and whom she shares a bond with; whether Cinder dares to admit it or not.

You see where I’m going with this?

 Emerald becoming the Fall Maiden after Cinder has been a headcanon for her that I’ve been rooting for since the conclusion of V5. Based on how things are shaping up and what is required to move forward, I think Cinder’s final curtain call may be drawing near and what would actually be most fitting is if Emerald is the one to deal the killing blow to Cinder.

As a matter of fact, it would almost be symbolic if Emerald is the one of all characters to be the one to put a stop to Cinder---not only saving the others from her but also ironically saving Cinder from herself. Emerald killing Cinder would be an act of mercy from someone who genuinely loved Cinder and wanted nothing but the best for her. And why I love this idea is because it would be a fantastic parallel to the end of Cinder’s backstory in the Midnight episode.

In RWBY V8CH6, Cinder’s path and descent in her megalomaniac madness was forged the instant she killed Rhodes. Say what you will about him as a character; Rhodes cared deeply for Cinder…even up until the moment she cut him down with the very same weapon he gifted her. 

So with that in mind, imagine how fitting of an ending it would be if Cinder died the very same way she was ‘born’, essentially.

You can pretty much say that the person we know Cinder Fall to be was born when she killed her former mentor and the one person in her life that actually genuinely cared about her at the time. 

 So…imagine the poetic irony that would be for Cinder Fall to now die---killed by the hands of her own former apprentice and the one person in her life who genuinely cared about her at the time---Emerald Sustrai.

Imagine if…Emerald kills Cinder and Cinder gets a strange sense of déjà vu because not only did her surprised expression at being killed by Emerald reflect the one Rhodes made to her the night he died but through Emerald, Cinder sees her former young self---the side of her she discarded when she chose her path that night. 

Cinder began her path with the bloody end of a blade through the chest of someone close to her. So for Emerald to kill Cinder the same way---even better if it’s done with her very own weapon---then that would be…downright perfect as ending to Cinder’s arc.

Apologies to all the Cinder Fall fans reading this post. The CRWBY showrunners have had Cinder dance with death one too many times. I myself have honestly been curious about how Cinder’s story was going to end in the canon. While I still like my Red Queen headcanon for her, I would be okay with Cinder dying if Emerald was the one to kill her.

NOT Ruby. NOT Jaune. But Emerald. If there is one character who would be most fitting to be the one to put an end to Cinder Fall, it would be Emerald.

Killing Cinder, especially if it was done in protection and/or aid of the heroes, would be the final nail in Emerald’s own arc of “switching sides”.

As stated back between V6 and V8, Cinder was technically the one thing still tying Em to the side of evil as she once remarked that she was only on Salem’s side out of her loyalty to Cinder. Emerald already left Salem but Cinder still lives as an anchor to possibly tempt Em back to the side of evil. But if Em were to be the one to stop Cinder, then that cord would finally be cut thus cementing Emerald as being on the side of good---officially in respect to her story.

Emerald helping to save Oscar and return him to his allies on Monstra doesn’t make her a “good guy”. Emerald helping our heroes take down Ironwood, help Penny and save the refugees of Atlas and Mantle doesn’t even make her a “good guy” either.

But stopping Cinder Fall for good---to be the one to put her down and essentially save everyone from the monster she knew Cinder would ultimately become if not stopped--- that, to me, would be the move to officiate Emerald Sustrai as a “good guy”.

Even better if Cinder were to plant the tough choice right in Em’s face. Imagine if…Cinder puts Oscar’s life in danger and orders Em to be the one to kill Oscar for her; like the devoted pawn she always treats her as. Imagine if…Em is placed in a position where she is made to choose between her old loyalty to Cinder as a villain or her newfound loyalty to Oscar as a hero.

Just as how Cinder was Emerald’s anchor to the villains on Salem’s side, Oscar is technically now Emerald’s anchor to the heroes on Ozpin’s side. So if Cinder forces Em to kill Oscar but Em ends up killing Cinder instead to save Oscar for a second time----this would be it. This would be the deed that cements Emerald as formally giving up on Cinder and fighting for the side of good; at least in my humble opinion.

And the cherry on top would be that killing Cinder causes the Fall Maiden powers to go directly to Emerald and if Emerald becomes the Fall Maiden---the maiden tied to the vault and relic housed in the school that is tied to Professor Ozpin whose very successor is her closest ally on the hero team---I’d like to think this would be a perfect conclusion to Emerald’s “arc”. I think that could work epically.

This is why I’m rooting for Em to become the next Fall Maiden. This happening would definitely further cement the Emerald City dynamic since Oscar’s new “big sister” or rather “cousin” would be the maiden tied to “his” relic needed to open “his” vault hidden in “his” school.

(I think I’d rather refer to Emerald as Oscar’s adopted cousin since I low-key like the concept of Oscar taking Emerald back home with him to Mistral only for her to be adopted immediately by his family since Emerald was an orphan who grew up on the streets and never truly had a family of her own but ultimately finds one with the Pines who willingly take her in. It FITS; dagnabbit.)

My one gripe with Emerald City duo though is that I wished it had better build-up throughout the series run. I’d be lying if the fact that Emerald and Oscar barely had any interactions prior to V8 definitely hurts the believability of them suddenly being close now with Oscar willing to vouch for the good in Emerald…even though he literally just met her like yesterday according to the timeline.

I know it helps the meme of Emerald “only knowing Oscar for 24 hours and would be willing to kill anyone who dares to hurt him” but from a storytelling perspective, I really wish the development of this dynamic had been delivered better. I mean I’m happy that we finally got the payoff of Emerald and Oscar becoming friends and seeing Em joining the heroes thanks to her friendship with Oscar…but it’s like eating a delicious cheese burger without the cheese.

You get to see the beginning of it and the joyful payoff of the end but the middle part that was needed to make it fully work is non-existent and ends up hurting it in respect to consistency. 

While I understand that Emerald helped to save Oscar’s life---that’s not really enough to sell his sudden faith in her. At least for me. Can’t speak for everyone else. Since, like I said, we barely got any scenes of Oscar and Em interacting before she showed up to help get him out of Monstra.

The ONLY thing that’s canonically helping sell Emerald City to me is the fact that Hazel was shown to care for and look out for Emerald’s wellbeing in the past and since Oscar spent more time with Hazel; by extension; custody of Em was transferred to Oscar/Oz the minute Hazel died…especially since, he was technically the one forced to kill him when he sacrificed himself to stop Salem.

I guess I just personally would’ve liked to have seen these two interact more over the seasons, particularly for V8 while Oscar was imprisoned. 

Perhaps that chance will come now that Em is on the team working with ALPN. And it would probably work even better if Em becomes the Fall Maiden. But for now that’s mostly just speculation.

All in all, bottom line---as I’ll say again, this squiggle meister really likes Emerald City as another close friendship dynamic for Oscar and Em respectively and I’m looking forward to seeing how this dynamic develops over the next season. 

I’m curious to see how much more Em and Oscar can help each other as friends especially since Oscar still has own inner demons with the Merge to deal with emotionally and I’m especially curious to see how Em would react to reuniting with Mercury in Vacuo now that she’s joined the heroes---even better if she’s now the Fall Maiden after killing Cinder. 

That should be a fun development but we’ll see how that goes. In the meantime, hope this lengthy response answers your question, Sweet XD

~ LittleMissSquiggles (2021)

[fckwritersblock]

Act 1: While We’re Young

Chapter 5

Erik ‘Killmonger’ Stevens x Black OC

(Unedited.)

Tuesday

January 10th 2005

Last night was the only night I'm allowing myself to cry over him and his 'return'. What good would it do me? No, I was gonna take Erik and whatever he had to throw at me by storm.

Waking up the next day, I feel refreshed. Like a brand new person with a more positive mindset. Today I had 3 classes and I'm determined to have a good Erik free day.

That whole Erik free thing went out the window as soon as I got to my first class.

Double O Computer Programming 1 was a junior class, however I'd taken it during the summer during my first year at UC Berkeley. DOCP 2 wouldn't be available until next semester but I needed to have a class since this was my first year on the actual campus. Thankfully Miss Hill really needed a T.A and the fact that I could help with an algorithm that tied into thermal nuclear astrophysics had her sold.

Right after I finished taking attendance, she barely got a word out before the door swung open revealing Erik as our late comer. I quickly glanced at the sheet in front of me, scanning for his name. I was so use to calling him N’dajaka when we were kids, I completely skipped over ‘Erik Stevens’. I huffed rolling my eyes, arms crossed over my chest. His timbs were the only thing heard shuffling across the room making hid way toward the front of the class. Wordlessly he handed Miss Hill before his eyes were on me. They scanned me from top to bottom, before locking with me a smug grin on his lips.

"Hey Lona," my jaw dropped.

Before I could get out a word, Miss Hill opened her mouth, looking up from the paper he handed her.

"Welcome Erik, sorry for the confusion."

"It's all good," he shrugged.

"Im Miss Hill, and I see you already know my aid. As I explained to the class prior to taking attendance, If I'm unavailable feel free to email or call her during the hours listed on the sheet." She is then took a sheet from me and handed him to me. "Other than that, find a seat."

He nodded pretending look over the sheet before averting his gaze back on me.

"I'm definitely gon do that."

Fuck my life right?

Well, Erik just so happened to be in the Calculus class I skipped two days ago. I thank God my record was squeaky clean and Mr. Kennedy accepted my poor excuse before I was quickly reminded the man upstairs has a sense of humor as the only available seat was next to Erik.

"The person next to you will be your partner for the remainder of the semester so let's take the next 15 minutes getting know one another hmm?." Mr. Kennedy instructed.

I couldn't suppress the groan that slipped as Erik casually leaned back in his chair, examining me.

"You heard the man, get to know me."

"I know all I need this know about you Erik."

"Oh so I'm Erik now? Like that?" He spoke cool, calm, and collected like our exchanged was normal.

I gripped my pencils tight, my knee bouncing up and down my body tense.

"Let me set things straight now. We don't need to talk to one another. If it doesn't have anything to do with any of the classes we take together, don't want to hear it. When you see me act like you don't know me. We clear?"

The expression on his face was unreadable before his lip twitched slight him responding.

"Crystal."

Wednesday

January 24th, 2005

It had been two weeks since Erik showed up here.

Ok that's a lie.

Apparently this man has been here. And to top it off, this mans name was in every bitch mouth like the second coming of Jesus Christ. From what I've observed though, he doesn't say much, or gives any of these broads much attention. He don't say much in general actually, he's really good at blending in. He got that laid back, mysterious, bad boy vibe going for him and these females out here hella into that.

But when he opens his mouth, that cocky bastard sure knows how to disrupt my entire soul at least while we're in class.

Outside of class though, he acts like I'm invisible.

It was like he never knew me. And honestly, I don't know how to feel about it. I know that's what I said I wanted but it bothers me just the same.

Today in particular though, he argued me down during our Calculus class. We had one problem to figure out before we could leave class today. You and your partner were supposed agree on the answer, and heaven forbid he just agree with me so we can get out of here. Math was always my subject when we were kids, nothing has changed. I was damn near about to say fuck it when he started laughing.

What in the entire fuck it so funny?" I was fuming.

"You," he shook his head. "You really hella mad."

"Um, YES!" I damn near shouted fed up. "You literally been tryna convince me it's 5 when it's-"

"Chill. I know the answer is 3 girl. C'mon, let's go." So smoothly he closed the book, grabbed his bag and headed to the front.

I was so upset, I had to let him do all the talking when it came to explain to the teacher I'll answer and how we got there. I know I open my mouth I wasn't going to say anything nice.

"Girl what crawled up your ass and died?" Donise questioned with a stank look as we sat at one of the benches outside of the library.

"Yeah What did Erik do now," I could hear teasing in Tatiana's tone so I flipped her off.

Only giving a brief explanation, I went on a mini rant about what happened in class 20 minutes ago. Donise's thought it was funny, while Tati just shook her head.

"I still can't believe it him," Tatianna glanced as a group of guys from across the quad headed our way, Erik included.

"Yes, and I wish it wasn't."

Tatianna was the first real friend I made in a while. I was actually tutoring her online for a while before she found out I was 4 years younger than her. Our friendship started off as a trade. I was her tutor and she both convinced and enrolled in a mentor program to help me with my social skills. I didn't speak to anyone much when Erik left, but I got into a lot of fights. According to the school counselor I was taking out my anger and abandonment issues on.I have meds to tame the anger, and while I haven't had to take them in a while Eric definitely bring that anger out of me.

"Girl that's just sexual tension. You got to fuck all that out." Ashley put in her unwanted two cents.

"Trust me when I tell you on God it isn't."

"Well if you out to holla, then trust and believe I will." She tossed her hair over her shoulder

I didn't really mess with Ashley like that, but she was Tati's frat sister which made them 'friends'. That little thot pocket will screw anything with legs, D, and a pulse and I'm not bout that life. Plus she messy as fuck and I don't trust her as far as I can throw her.

"I don't doubt it," I smirked as Donise said exactly what I was thinking.

Donise was coo' though, I meet her when I first got here 2 months ago. Believe It or not she was apart of the welcome comity for MIT and turned out her and Tatiana were already friends. Once she figured out  who I was, I was shot to the front line during registration and everything.

"Anyways, y'all going Ant and them party tomorrow?" Ashley questioned probably tryna bum a ride.

"What party?"

"The Que's," Donise answered. "The dudes with Erik are frat."

Now this was news to me. I met most of them before but I had no idea there were in a sorority. Examining them, I guess it all made sense. Most in the clique sported some sort of purple and yellow lanyard either around their neck or on their keychain that hung from their jean pocket as if  they wanted everybody to know who they were. Which I wouldn't doubt.

"Ladies! What we chattin about?" Moses questions every bit of his thick English accent tapering off every word.

"Our plans for mañana," Tati answered l

"Word. Y'all coming to the party tomorrow?" Jay spoke playing with a few strands of Donise's curls.

"Tomorrow? It's Thursday." I said confused. "Ain't there class the next day?"

"What's the matter, you can't hang?" I glared at Jay, knowing he was only chastising me because him and Erik were close, according to Tati.

I swear to God men gossip more than women do. Rolling my eyes I spared Erik a glance and he looked like he was waiting on me to respond.

"Oh, I can definitely hang."

I couldn't hang.

Around midnight I was  in the bathroom throwing up everything, damn near hug in the toilet as my surrounding looks so blurry and I can barely function. Im not sure when I'd finally finished, but I could feel someone picks me up and out the bathroom and soon everything goes blurry and then black.

Tag list: @kitesatforestp @xsweetdellzx @justgetitoverwith0 @letsshamelessqueen-m @cmkcolove @readingaddict1290

[justsasuke]

Here’s the thing about Kakashi. He’s quite possibly Konoha’s worst (yes, you read that right) worst Sensei. Mostly due to the fact that he’s so caught up in his guilt and past that he literally had nothing to give his students.

I’m not saying this to hate on Kakashi, he’s his own person with very valid struggles and I don’t want to slam him bc of his life experiences, but for the purpose of this here writing I’m going to ignore Kakashi’s right to be stuck in the past and talk about why he isn’t qualified to do the job the 3rd Hokage assigned him. Specifically in relation to Sasuke (bc let’s be real, after shippuden started was Kakashi really Naruto and Sakura’s sensei anymore? also this blog is about Sasuke so if you’re expecting any other type of content IDK how to help you)

Let me start by saying Kakashi had a lot of potential to help Sasuke out; they come from somewhat similar backgrounds - prominent families in the village that at some point were no longer favorable to the village, and then losing said families.  Both were child prodigies and (I assume) had a lot of external pressure to live up to and not enough time to work through their own feelings...

you’d think with everything they had in common Kakashi could have used his experiences to relate to Sasuke and then guide him down a much healthier path--but instead he only made things worse.

and here’s where we get into the main meat of this rant and my list of reasons why Kakashi was a horrible sensei (grab some popcorn bc I’m about to go off)

1) Kakashi identifies Sasuke’s issues early...and then does nothing. without a doubt, Kakashi knew who Sasuke was.  He knew what had happened to the Uchiha clan, and he could probably imagine what kind of pain Sasuke was going through and yet when Sasuke very openly admits that he doesn’t have any purpose for his future except to avenge his clan Kakashi simply makes a mental note that it was ‘just as he thought’

2) Kakashi doesn’t really say anything nice... your mileage may vary with this one, and of course it’s a matter of personal taste, but Kakashi doesn’t say anything nice about Sasuke.  Not to his face anyway.  and it’s not just that he isn’t nice, he taunts him too. To a regular person this may not cause much damage, but we have to look at the fact that Sasuke has grown up alone and un-nurtured for the last 5 years and that the last person who was important in his literally told him that he was worthless and unfit for anything (hello root cause of Sasuke’s insecurity) Kakashi’s words then become really destructive and damaging to any chance he had of creating a safe space for Sasuke to open up and feel looked after/get the help he needed

3) Kakashi didn’t get it This happens during the infamous treetop chat, where he literally ties Sasuke to the tree so he can say what he wants to say. (red flag right there bc honestly what is with this village and constantly trying to force Sasuke to do what they want him to do without actually taking the time to listen to him or address his problems directly.  Seriously.  Also why are you waiting until just now to reach out to him when you’ve known he’s been struggling since day one.  see #1 on this rant)

I hate this scene because it’s a really good moment outside of the context of, well, Sasuke and all that he is and has been through. It was meant to be a call to reality scene where Kakashi helps Sasuke see that he’s not alone in his suffering, that he has friends who care about him, that leaving the village isn’t going to help him, and his life situation isn’t actually all that bad. (can you spot the sarcasm?)

Spoiler alert: this scene is another example of people who thought they understood Sasuke and knew how to help, which is not the same as actually understanding him and knowing how to help. See also Naruto, Sakura, and Gaara to name the most prominent other ones.

4) “sure, but everyone I ever loved is already dead... :)” Ok listen.  I get where Kakashi is coming from, I really do. but this line.  I hate it. Again, it’s a great line out of context of everything Sasuke is dealing with. And yeah, I can see why Kakashi thought it might help. But just to recap, Sasuke’s entire clan, his immediate family, probably the bulk of his friends because Bigotry™, his extended family, everything he’s known and loved and held dear, his security, the family culture he grew up with, any promise of a bright future etc. was taken away from him by his older brother whom he loved more than anything in one night.  He literally lost everything that would help him gain any sort of bearing of identity and sense of worth, not to mention anyone to love him, in one night.  and it was taken by the person he loved most, someone he trusted and looked up to and believed in.  And then that person told him he was completely worthless. Kakashi on the other hand lost his best friend during a ninja mission (a devastating loss but common within the context of everyone being ninja and it being wartime), and lost his father and other friend/crush? to suicide. All very real pains, but different than Sasuke’s.  

Sasuke’s lash out of “what if I killed everyone you ever cared about” was a plea for someone to understand the kind of agony he was carrying everyday, and Kakashi--who honestly out of everyone else should have sensed a need to sit and listen--ignored it by taking the opportunity to invalidate Sasuke’s very specific pain.

5) Kakashi kind of ....gave up? At some point it seems like Kakashi just gave up trying to help Sasuke and decided that it was unavoidable and inevitable that Sasuke was going to “go bad” and leave the village. I mean, he noticed it on day one, right? (srry, I’m salty about that one if you couldn’t tell).

6) Except he didn’t At some point he decides that as Sasuke’s sensei he should be the one to take responsibility for Sasuke going “bad” and kill him. Forget talking to him, forget apologizing for not taking the time to talk to him earlier, he decided that he’s going to fight Sasuke and “take care of the problem once and for all”.

I could go on, but at this point I think I should stop and take a really, really long walk. In summary:  While you’d expect Kakashi to have seen and treated Sasuke differently he didn’t, and while he was set up to be the perfect mentor character to Sasuke (Naruto got Jiraiya so you’d think Kakashi would’ve stepped in to help Sasuke more) he really fell flat. Overall as a sensei I think he was too bogged down with his own pain and survivor’s guilt to really be present, and maybe he was too scared to help Sasuke grow because he thought if he fed the fire it would only get worse. In any case, other than teaching Sasuke chidori, Kakashi was really detached from Sasuke’s struggles except when he thought it had gone too far.  And by then it was too late to do any good. I think if he had stepped in a little more, listened a little more, helped Sasuke channel his feelings productively, maybe even helped Sasuke work through said feelings, things could’ve been great. He could’ve been the Iruka to Sasuke’s Naruto, you know?   but he wasn’t.

[kitkatopinions]

I'm tired of fantasy world writers being like 'oh, this is my allegory for racism in my fantasy world where actual racism doesn't exist, also I'm going to not do any research on how to properly include said allegory, badly portray it, make my main characters affected by this white or white passing, and then use racist stereotypes later.' Long post full of RWBY criticism ahead.

RWBY is terrible with the Faunus racism they chose to make part of their story. They made the White Fang an evil terrorist group, they made Blake lecture fellow Faunus about how they're the ones actually hurting themselves by using violence against each other, they framed comfortable and peaceful protest as the only good way despite establishing that peaceful protest didn't work, and they made their child slave coded character who literally got branded turn into nothing more than an abusive stalker and then had him killed without ever addressing the aforementioned child slavery. Also, the only Faunus among our main cast now that Sun is gone is one of the most privileged of the Faunus. Blake can pass as a human if she wants to, she grew up fairly rich, she has two loving parents, and she comes from an inherently powerful position as the daughter of the Chief. Having Blake be privileged would be absolutely fine, if she acknowledged her privilege, wasn’t the mouthpiece on Faunus rights, if she wasn’t the only Faunus in our main cast, and if she didn’t repeatedly lecture other Faunus.

On top of that, two of our main cast have been racist (within the narrative of the show) towards our main Faunus character, one of them learns from it (even though that as well was badly handled) and became the only member of Team RWBY to ever call out human's being racist after season three. Oh wait, except the other member of our main cast that was racist that never had it addressed because it was treated like a joke now has yelled at a racist once, in an incredibly tense situation, so I guess her racism is gone. It’s good that it’s gone, since CRWBY is pushing her and Blake as a couple, but it’s frustrating that her racism never even got a ‘that wasn’t funny’ and we never see Yang learn any better, because it feels like CRWBY brushed it off and acted like it was fun and quirky instead of treating it like the casual racism it was. They do a similar thing with Robyn in season seven which came out in 2019, when she calls Marrow ‘Wags.’ Also none of our main cast are ever seen protesting for Faunus rights (sans a two second flashback of child Blake at a rally and a non canon RWBY chibi cartoon.) I don't think Ruby - our main protagonist - has ever even mentioned Faunus rights. In a world where Adam was branded with the SDC logo under fifteen years ago at the most, racism and fighting racism should be a big part of the story, and instead, it's brushed to the side and used for the occasional 'we don't like racism btw' moment now that Blake got rid of a Faunus run terrorist group. To me, this implies that the number one threat to the Faunus… Was the Faunus, and although some humans are still anti-Faunus, no one has to devote their time or energy into fighting for equality. In season 7, Blake doesn’t even attend the rally of the political figure running against Jacques Schnee - who as far as I’m aware, is the only business owner or person in power who has ever displayed anti-Faunus racism in the show. By the way, please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong. It’s been a hot minute since I watched through the show.

Instead of attending a rally that seems very important for the Faunus, Blake goes dancing with her crush. It’s like she stopped caring about politics and rights after the White Fang got removed. That feels so bad. Also, I'll note that most of the actual POC Faunus that can't pass as white in this show are on the bad side (Sienna, Fennec, Corsac, Lionheart, Ilia, Marrow.) And either they die, or they must learn to give up their destructive ways and become better people. I’m not saying this was intentional, I’m saying it’s a pattern, it’s alarming, and the writers should’ve known better.

I believe Miles Luna and Kerry Shawcross have admitted that they mishandled Faunus racism, but first off, it still doesn’t excuse them because they were grown people putting out a product that premiered in 2013 and they should’ve known to do research and do better. But second off, I still feel like they haven't done the research they need to and continue to mishandle the racism by ignoring it when they want to and bringing it up only to let us as an audience know Weiss and Yang aren't racist anymore. They can’t just cut the Faunus from their storyline now, but they can’t just ignore it, and need to actually make it a better allegory. Honestly though, one of the big reasons I'm convinced that they still haven't done any real research on how to properly portray POC or racism is because of how terribly they're handling the Ace Ops.

They're writing a fantasy show, they aren't tied to real world portrayals of law enforcement, but they went the route of commentating on real world police, corrupt police, and use of excessive force. That's fine. But things are already pretty dicey just starting off because of how they've mishandled and continue to mishandle Faunus racism. Outside of Jacques Schnee and his company and business partners, I don't remember seeing Faunus racism in Atlas (not Mantle, Atlas.) If I'm wrong about that, again, please correct me, I may have missed it. But without seeing actual discrimination against Faunus within the police force, right off the bat, that's a mishandling of commentating on police brutality. But also, other than Clover who is now dead, the Ace Ops are all people of color. CRWBY made their bad cops all not white. Even Ironwood - who is white passing - is voiced by a person of color who has said he believes that James is Chinese American. I'll point out that being a Hunter is pretty much just being a cop with more freedom and seemingly less rules. Qrow (a Beacon Huntsman) goes around destroying public property and comments on how some hunters work outside of the law, and yet it's only the Ace Ops who are held to real world ACAB rules and everyone else gets to be a good cop/law enforcement officer. Ruby gets to proudly proclaim herself a Huntress, Weiss gets to arrest people, Jaune gets told that he deserves his Huntsman license, we've been getting told for seven seasons that Hunters help people and do what's right, and we're given long time Hunters and mentor figures like Oobleck, Glynda, Qrow, and now Robyn is being framed that way, and they back that up. Even training Atlas soldiers like Neon and Flynt are fine and fun. But only the Ace Ops are bad, corrupt law enforcement officers. So that way, we can have the entirely white passing Team RWBY beat up the entirely POC, not white passing Ace Ops. Even though Team RWBY is a byproduct of the same kind of program and even though we’ve seen the police discriminate against Faunus in Vale. If CRWBY wants their allegories to be taken seriously, they need to recognize that RWBY and co are also certified police. Also, it’s really not funny to see people use ACAB as a reason why the Ace Ops are of course bad, but then turn around and simp for Winter, and be like ‘We want Winter to be redeemed, but Harriet? What a bitch!’ Like… I’m side-eyeing that pretty hard.

Speaking of Winter, now she’s in charge of the Ace Ops. But unlike Marrow, Winter doesn’t just look sad sometimes and blindly only follow direct orders without protest. She’s actually feeling all kinds of things, and she’s actually being framed as strong, intelligent, and reasonable. I’m sure no one forgot this, but I’ll note it anyway; Winter is white. Having Winter be the only Ace Op to actually listen to JRY and do things without James explicitly telling her to (although I don’t consider what she did a betrayal or going behind his back) is dicey. They could’ve given this moment to Harriet and nothing would change. ‘This lady typically follows orders, is short tempered, and pushes down her emotions, but she can still recognize a fairly good idea when she sees one and can actually think for herself, so although this isn’t a betrayal, she compromises and lets Team JRY go after their friend.’ Yeah, idk guys, I feel like there was literally no reason to slot Winter in with the Ace Ops to be the lone voice of reason when Harriet could’ve become the new leader and played the exact same role. Instead, Winter gets to have a power move where she puts Harriet in her place. Winter is given actual depth and gets to put down the black woman who the writers have made display nothing but anger for the whole season. The fans rally behind Winter because she was given depth and hate Harriet because she has none, but that’s the fault of the writers. Btw, ‘this black woman won’t show any emotion besides anger’ is a racist stereotype. It would probably have taken like five minutes on google for Luna and Shawcross to have realized that it was a bad idea to write a black woman in any sort of position of power to be constantly angry + hiding her emotions. Elm is in the same boat as Harriet, and I was going to say it’s less severe, but then I remembered that she literally attacked Ren for talking about their emotions.

Look, my point is that RWBY as a show has never handled allegories like racism and corrupt police well, and either they should stop trying and stick to ‘make believe land is just different than the real world’ or start putting in the work and fix this. By the way, I’m not trying to make anyone feel bad for watching or even enjoying RWBY, but I hope people can watch it while recognizing that some of the things CRWBY has chosen to put into their show are destructive and that the creators need to be called out. I’ll continue to hope that most RWBY fans do recognize that RWBY is deeply flawed, but I’ve just been stewing recently about someone who told me that I shouldn’t have expected the show to address Faunus racism in the Atlas arcs because that ended when Adam died.

I want to make it totally clear that I agree with and support ACAB in the real world and I'm not against it being used in fantasy works, I just think CRWBY is doing a poor job of portraying it and many fans are misusing it and it feels disrespectful. This is an actual real world movement with actual real world consequences. It feels very bad to see people use it to argue that the writers who have never handled allegories of racism well can make an all POC group be a destructive, violent, easily controlled, easily beat group of corrupt cops that need a white woman and fellow cop to be the voice of reason.