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ibroughtyoumybullets · 4 years

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You said not to ask so please ignore this if you don't want to explain, but could you elaborate on your March 19th / May 1st theory? thanks!

ahfkafhksfh yeah no problem. its not a theory its just ... brain worms that have taken a specific shape but thats not new this is just the latest form. under a cut because i hate like. getting peoples hopes up over something ive entirely made up

greentext format but make it wordy

> i think frank has been like. suspicious lately. i dont know how to explain it beyond that. he’s done a LOT of press-but-not-press in the last month or so. sure, he’s definitely bored and stuck in his house like the rest of us, and he had a new EP come out, and the EP is technically the reason for the press. but it also ... isnt. like the bulk of it has been AFTER the EP came out, and none of it has been wholly focused on the EP. and to me, at least, it feels like, i dont know, easing the band back into public consciousness thru a press circuit without the band ACTUALLY doing a press circuit because MCR been pretty hard and fast about the ‘we dont need or want ur press’ when it comes to the reunion.

> continuing off the last one, in the ... jim ward interview he did, i think? one of the more recent ones, at least - he got asked about his writing process and mentioned working with gerard in present tense. very very likely it meant nothing at all, but also like ... i dont trust him LOL part of me thinks it was on purpose. Im just suspicious of him after the broken clock thing.

> not only did frank mention working with gerard in the present tense, for Months now, but especially during his recent mini press tour, frank has been really vague but consistent in talking about working with people on music remotely. id have to go looking for it and i dont feel like it, but it’s been something along the lines of ‘working with new people And people you know’. suspitcheous.

> ONTO GERARD. Gerard like never uses social media. but then a couple days ago he pops up to mention franks EP (which is sweet) and makes sure to sign it so its like, obviously not something his social media manager wrote up for him. and in that post he mentions being down in the lab. and LORD KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK THAT MEANS besides the fact that he’s working on something. but hey, its gerard, when isnt he.

> But Gerard’s also doing that charity stream on the 2nd. and we havent seen gerard in MONTHS. since august, maybe? and he’s not just speaking, hes PERFORMING. besides the shrine show, the last time he performed was for the muppet charity thing with ray in 2016, and before that, it was the last hes alien leg in 2015. None of us even expected him to perform when it got announced - it had to be confirmed by the event organizers. and that just ... pings something in my brain, same as franks little press tour. It’s gerard emerging from his cave, Being A Musician, you know?

> SPEAKING of the last time we saw gerard, he teased us back in the summer by mentioning that he has something he’s been working on thats not comic book related that he cant talk about. maybe its a fucking line of hot sauces or a tripp collaboration.

> Or maybe its music.

> this is where we depart from reality a little bit more:

> this has been trotted out again and again on here as a talking point, and i dither between agreeing with it or not, but: MCR spent two years planning their return. they had a plan, for whatever the fuck was supposed to happen - even if all that was supposed to happen was the tour.

> and their plan got pissed on, doused in gasoline, set on fire, extinguished, and thrown into the mouth of a lion. But They Had A Plan. And theyve been fucking radio silent except the hipdot collab, and before that, rescheduling shows. I ASSUME their almost-year of silence has been them, in part, reformulating their plan. Changing whatever it was going to be to fit the new timeline, or making a back up plan in case things get worse.

> But the original plan had them all free - as far as we know - after november of 2020. so they wouldnt have had active MCR stuff happening for the national anthem comic book release, the electric century album + comic release, the you look like death tua comic release. But those things still happened, because they didnt require having to be in the real world where the plague is.

> so, what the worms hinge on, is that whatever the New Plan Is, Whatever They Are Doing Now, it involves waiting until all their obligations and projects that SHOULDNT have interfered with MCR stuff - but had to the potential to because of covid - ended.

> and thats now. thats the next couple weeks. you look like death just finished up, mikeys album and comic are out, and national anthem finishes up in like a week in a half.

> and then theres nothing (that we know of) until the rescheduled shows happen, or *knocks thrice on wood* they have to reschedule again.

> and this is where we really enter crazy town:

> so i was thinking about all of these things, and the imagery / themeing for the return (what little we got of it) and how a year ago everybody was pulling out the wheel of the year trying to figure out what they would do next, and when.

> and March 20th (i know i said march 19th originally, i’ll get into that) is Ostara.

> if youre not vaguely witchy, its basically a festival for the spring equinox. light and dark are in balance, yadda yadda yadda. and i could go into full on insane depth about the black and white aspects of the return, the witchiness of an offering + a summoning but i wont. it boils down to: its the closest festival to when all of MCR’s calendars are clear as far as we know, and its almost a year to date of when they had to reschedule the shows.

> and March 19th is a Friday. which is new music release day. Ostara / the equinox are technically on saturday, but its at 5am on saturday morning so ... technicalities.

> so the worms in my brain say new single on march 19th. or Something on march 19th. or 20th. one of those days.

> and the worms in my brain also say MCR are a bunch of cruel little shits, and theyre gonna make us wait before they give us anything substantial.

> so we move to May 1st.

> May 1st is also known as May Day, also known as Beltane. (We’re back to the wheel of the year for this one) Its the halfway point between the spring equinox and the summer solstice. And its a Saturday. which is NOT new music release day - but hey, its close enough.

> may day is also like, similar to halloween / samhain in that the veil is supposed to be thinner on those days, and i think theres a connection the imagery and over-all plan wise between coming back on halloween, and possibly doing something on mayday. i dont think they just came back on halloween as a birthday present to frank.

> so second single on may day, or album? or announcement that theres gonna BE an album? maybe they wont give us a single on ostara but just tease us with something. i dont know. but i think theres something here.

> im aware this was a lot of words and i basically gave you nothing, but i can only give you what the worms give to me.

> sorry for being the way i am. hope this helped.

#Anonymous #asks #anon

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actualbird · 3 years

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Hope you're doing well! ♥️

So I have a confession to make: I haven't played ToT for a whole week now. I'm kinda scared to go back in because of the new event, (the Christmas one) because I'm afraid I won't finish it in time but at the same time I don't want to miss out on it so I have just been sitting in this limbo.

I think I maybe burned out because I finished everything? So the only thing I looked forward to were the events (some of the events were brilliant, some not so much) and in my opinion, they aren't spaced apart enough for me to enjoy them. I play this game for the story so when there isn't much of it, it's hard to just even log in daily - keeping in mind I haven't missed a single day since I got the game.

I really hope we get new main and character stories soon because I can't see myself being interested enough?

I'm genuinely lost because I absolutely love this game!

I don't know, these are just my ramblings.

I'm 👌 this close to sending you angst about Luke dumping Marius and Aaron accidentally telling the NXX team about Luke's condition 😅

P.S. The recent Artem fic - first of all, how dare you make me tear up again? Secondly, I can imagine Artem grading himself after the appointments, like: Oh, the therapists didn't like what I said, I get an F!

LIKE NO! YOU CAN'T WIN OR LOSE THERAPY, YOU DUM DUM!

I just want to hug him! ♥️

Okay, that was a lot! Please take care! 🌺

hullo, hibiscus!!! i hope ur doing well too :DDD

ooooohhh i can relate to this sentiment!! i havent stopped playing but i deffo feel a big mood at "events coming in too fast to enjoy them" like yep yep. im STILL processing luke bday and now theres xmas partyland!! before that, i was STILL processing symphony of the night and then RRG part 1 happened gbsdjkgsd

tho if it's any consolation, the current event Xmas Partyland doesnt have any event plot like Symphony of the Night or RRG. it's just a boardgame thing, like Summer Breeze!!!

also not sure if i u kno but it seems tot wants the global server to catch up to the cn server (i talk about it here and here) so that global wont stay 1 year behind cn server forever. this has pros (more stuff at a faster pace) but also cons (MORE STUFF AT A FASTER PACE, IT'S HARD TO KEEP UP, also it's fuckin up some of the relationship development espeeeeecially mc and marius hoo boy)

based on the cn server, we should be getting the Personal Story 3 AND Main Story 6 installments in February of next year, 2022 (the pvs for them for the cn server was released at that time, 2021), but again, with how tot wants global to catch up, who knows if we're gonna get it earlier.

i'd REALLY LOVE IT EARLIER. i want the main and personal stuff earlier and the events a liiiiittle bit more spaced out bc tbh, i can only write so much so fast to respond to it all HAHA (im enjoying myself, yes, but im close to collapsing at the end of every day so UH)

anyway, if ur excited for more story already, i guess one solution is to watch/read translation of cn server content!!! ofc only if u want, i used to be somebody who didnt want Any Future Spoilers At All, but then luke pearce happened and now im in shambles, i know what happens in future personal story, im in pain SO MUCH PAIN BUT ALSO it rlly bolstered my excitement a bunch, if that makes sense?

sdkjfsbkjBJKSD LMAO AT THE ANGST, HIBISCUS. as always, im very open to receiving angst hcs OwO.....just be prepared for me to find some kinda way to give it a hopeful happy ending HAHA, i have trouble accepting bad endings, when it comes to love....

thank you for reading "designed to send mixed signals, one image made up of different pixels" :DDDD!! sorry for the tears tho skjfbkjBK AND UR RIGHT. YEAH. THATS AN ARTEM THING TO DO (and also something i did back when i was having therapy, OOPSIE DOODLE)

artem: can i see the grading rubrics for this?

dr reyes: artem, this is therapy. there are no grading rubrics.

artem: oh. oh no. what do i do now, then?

dr reyes: love yourself, ideally, but we'll get there.

take care as well, hibiscus!!!!!

#hibiscus!anon #okay my constant exhaustion is more my fault than tot's HAHA but still theres a lot to parse thru!!#asks #long post

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smokinonsomeweed · 4 years

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On tumblr i feel like i have the most transparency, least ppl i actually know following me, and out of the social media apps, i feel like tumblr has the least judgement. so im going to express some things here in addition to what i wrote in my journal.

I experimented with drugs at a very young age. Like 13+

I’m 20 years old now, going to be 21 next month and last time i was really addicted to something was cocaine when i was 17-18.

At an even younger age than 17 and 18 when i was 14-16 i was in a relationship with a boy 2 years older than me who had a history with downers, when we started dating he wasnt using any of that shit but few months into our relationship he relapsed with pills while he was having trouble as an indigenous boy with the law that was targetting him. He eventually moved on to heroin. And i dabbled in it a bit. I was never a fullblown heroin user like he was, but i tried it a couple of times. And you dont just try heroin . After one time that substance changes your brain chemistry, it is THAT addictive.

I never used it as consitently as i saw other people using it in, and my city was heavily affected by the opiate and fentanyl crisis. The amount of kids and young adults thats i still know who are affected by it is devastating. But i havent used the substance since i was 17. Before i got addicted to cocaine.

Just this past week, i had to get an abortion. The most recent man i was with got me pregnant. We’ve been clean together, just weed and occasional alcohol like most people. But i had to get put to sleep for my abortion it was in an IV, mind you i have never shot up any drug in my life. I was put to sleep this past summer 2020 for my wisdom tooth and it must have been a different anesthesia. It was probably morphine (which i experimented with in my teens too, but never got addicted) it didnt feel the same as this time when i went under.

When i went under this time it was like this painful surge all thru my left arm where they shot it, and they warned me of that, then i fell asleep but im quite sure that that was fentanyl, which is fine! The doctors are allowed to use fentanyl, especially for something like that. Im greatful i live in a country with the right to choose and free health care.. but since that anesthesia i’m most definitely having heroin withdrawals. And like i said i wasnt addicted physically to heroin. I watched my ex boyfriend and ex friends go through dopesickness and were truly addicted to the substance to the point where if they stopped cold turkey, the withdrawals could kill them. Yeah it isn’t like that, however now i’m having dreams of smoking heroin and it’s definitely a withdrawal effect from the anesthesia...

I have to be realy careful now and aware of myself. I’ve cut ties with my old drug dealers, and my current weed dealer happens to be a survivor of the opiate crisis himself. I have good family that support me the best that they can and i’m so grateful and blessed that i’m far out of that hole that i was in, in my teens.

There’s not really any reason that i’m writing this except to get it off my mind, and maybe some people relate . I dont know. I’m just reassuring myself of where i am and who i am. And im not there anymore. But i’d feel like i’m lying to myself if i didnt address it somehow.

I really need therapy and i havent taken my ssri’s for 2 days since my abortion because i forgot them at home and ive been staying at my moms for 2 days since to recover.

Its a sunny day and i live around lots of ocean, so im going to go out and watch the waves and smoke a blunt and listen to the birds and just have compassion for myself. Anyone thats gone thru addiction or is still going thru it, or have a love one who is affected by it, know that you’re not alone and it might get tough some times but anything else is a step in the right direction. Some times theres days when i just cant do anything, and thats okay. I dont have a whole lots to say because i’m still healing but i hope this reaches someone that needs to hear this.

#recovery #drugs #drug addiction #drug awareness #opiates #cocaine #healing #abortion

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solara-bean · 4 years

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This is the very extensive and detailed rant of a fed up black, female student of class 2020

-You are free to scroll past this if you want. I really just needed to get this off my chest. But if you have advice or are experiencing a similar situation, feel free to message me-

So first off, I haven't liked going to school since I was 9. And highschool has only deepened my loathing of it. But maybe I don't hate school in general. Maybe I just hate the schools I've gone to ( 4 in total ). This rant is about highschool specifically. Perhaps what I'm about to type is normal and I'm overreacting. But I'm tired of not talking about my problems because I'm worried that I'll sound like an ungrateful brat. Typing/ writing about my issues makes me feel better. And I really need to feel better.

So here are the main points in order of severity: Low income, Advisory, Graphic Arts and Discipline/Work Ethic

Low Income:

I've only ever gone to low income schools in my neighborhood. I hoped high school would be different but thanks to the crappy education of my old school and an even crappier selective enrollment test score, I couldn't get into the schools I wanted. Then again my single mother probably couldn't afford those other schools anyway.

My highschool shares a building with another highschool. And unfortunately they called dibs on the best features and have control of the heating and ac. We don't even have our own gym. We also have the least amount of space with the smallest class being mine of 144 seniors. So there's a lot of packed classrooms.

Speaking of having way too many students, recourses are slim as a result. Our best equipment, chromebooks, need to be reserved weeks in advance by the teacher and even then they still may not be able to get enough of them for their class. Said chromebooks can often be missing keys, not work at all or be stolen easily because of their small size.

A few other issues are terrible lunches ( I've been bringing lunch from home since sophmore year), very limited field trips, mice infestation, very few clubs ( if we have any idk ) and teachers have to pay for just about everything class related.

Advisory:

Advisories were created to prepare us for greek life in college. I honestly think it's to keep everyone in check but ok. Even so I have absolutely 0 interest in anything frat or sorority related ( no offense to those who do ) as well as many of my classmates but advisory is mandatory.

My first 2 years of advisory were hell. Most of my advisory sisters were either people I'd never talk to because we weren't in the same class, had nothing in common or they were straight up terrible people. I should mention that freshman year has the worst students because about 30% don't make to the next grade or just transfer. Most of my advisory sisters I had problems with were in that 30% ( a few had already repeated ).

Since I kept to myself there were very few incidents were I was put into a tense situation with them. The main conflicts involved our advisor, who I guarantee you was not the problem. She was essentially a poor, white, optimistic, young math teacher from out of town that was thrown to the slaughter. And my cowardly self watched not wanting to be next.

She ended up leaving by junior year so what was left of my advisory merged with another and got a new advisor. The only downside is that our new advisor is a firm believer in " sisterhood " and no cliques ( even if you converse easier with a certain group of people and advisory is already a forced clique in itself ). Maybe I'd be more up for advisory events , which we rarely have , if my advisory experience wasn't sullied so early on.

Graphic Arts:

The reason I chose my school was because it had an art class. In seventh grade I knew I wanted to have a career in art and that my talent was lacking but had potential. So you can imagine my horror when I learned that the art teacher had left once I'd gotten there.

I was sad but stayed positive and even highly recommended them to get another art teacher. Then by sophomore we got an art after school program ( 4:25 to 6 twice a week ). I managed to keep my grades the same and take the classes every week for the entire school year. I only missed about 4 days total. For once I actually enjoyed staying after school.

The class taught me so much and I didn't have to wait for the summer to take an art class downtown. Even better I got to interact with other young artists of my race ( there was usually only one other black kid at the summer classes ). Everything was finally looking up.

Then the art galleries happened. The school hosted one per semester. I brought my art to display but I couldn't stay cuz of a shitload of math homework. I got complimented the next day but still regretted not staying. So I vowed to attend the next one with even more pieces than before.

The night finally came and I was hyped. Me and two seniors were in charge of doing caricatures for free ( one senior gave me a dollar tho ). I had fun with that but noticed something weird...none of our art was displayed.

Apparently they cut it out for time along with the theatre clubs performance. And I would've been fine with that. If my family hadn't come.

The icing on the cake was when they turned off the lights in the hallway where we were drawing the caricatures so they could start the show for the performing art groups. I couldn't contact my family until the show was over and booooiii were they pissed. Especially my mom. I was more sad than anything. I had a feeling my school valued the performing art more and this just proved that. At least now we have an actual art class. And my art teacher is awesome and supportive as hell.

Discipline/ Work Ethic:

These are together cuz they've equally fucked me up. Don't get me wrong. I have a 4.2 gpa and 0 detentions.

The problem is my classmates.

I have been to soooo many class/school meetings about behavior and grade issues over the past 4 years. One of which a staff member said " now i know all of ain't bs-in' but why aren't those people helping the ones who are."

Like wow! Thanks. I hate it.

I'd be happy to help my fellow classmates. It's just that their version of help is cheating off my tests and copying my homework.

So yeah my bad. I've been sooo selfish.

I can count on my hand the amount of times I've been told that I'm doing a good job directly and not in front of a class as a way to embarrass them.

This year behavior was so bad that they made a competition to see which advisory would get the least demerits. Big mistake. My heart goes out to all the poor well behaved students who lost because of a few advisory mates. It only takes one. The record for most demerits in a day was 30 I think.

I forgot the competition was going on at some point cuz I've only gotten 2 demerits in 4 years. My advisory won second and we played the waiting game for our prize only to have a pizza party with 17 other advisories. The winning advisory was salty as hell. But hey we got free lunch at least.

I managed to get good grades simply by doing everything on time and having no social life. This was by choice really. I promised myself I'd do better in college but now I gotta study for ap.

It was actually ap literature that gave me a new perspective on my classmates work ethic. We were given a lengthy reading assignment but the due date was stretched by two class days and the weekend. Even though I'd been mentally drained lately ( by lately I mean since the 1st week of school ) and had other work to do, I completed it with slightly less annotations.

Upon the due date I discovered that I and one other classmate completed the reading. Even the valedictorian didn't do it!!! And this wasn't a one time thing either.

In fact my class is notorious for never doing work on time. I'm talking completing-a-project-in-the-class before-the-it's -due- for bad. And some people I understand. Some of them really need help and resources. But every one else. Excuses excuses. The extended due dates gave me extra free time but it made the work I completed on time feel pointless. Like I could've just not done it and not face any consequences.

I tried that and was stressed out all day to the point of doing the work anyway. School's got me whipped I guess.

So if I hate highschool so much why do I go on time everyday, miss at most 3 days a year, do my work, behave myself and study??? Simple. I'm trying to get out. Having a good gpa and test scores will get me more scholarships cuz God knows my mom can't afford art college ( I got into my first choice so yeah:). Really highschool has just been a means to an end.

I've had my good days and have made some friends but I really just wanna run to hills with my diploma in hand. And thats what's kept me going. But now we're quarantined.

And my school has decided to make work optional.....and I have all A's......

Needless to say I've barely done any work at all. If we never have to go back theres a good chance I won't. I'm so numb at this point that I don't care that we may not have a prom ( aka the only dance I was ever going to go to ).

I'm just done. Done and fed up.

But thank you to my mom, family, bestie, teachers and my classmates that actually want to have a future for keeping me going. If I don't completely give up it's thanks to you. Future me, I hope you get everything you want at art school:)

#school #highschool #class of 2020 #2020 #senior year #rant #lomg rant #if anyone wants to share their shitty highschool experience feel free #i actually left a lot of stuff out #like the freshman year camping trip #and social media drama #and spanish class #ughh im getting flashbacks #if you read this thanks it means a lot😊💗💗💗

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thatfunkyopossum · 6 years

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The 4400 AU

In short: Time Travel Shenanigans AU where Katsuki Bakugou is a first generation Japanese American immigrant who was born in 1936 and got sent to the future in 1952. Eijirou Kirishima is a gay american punk from new york living through the AIDs epidemic, born in 1970 and sent to the future in 1986. More information below the cut!

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

Please Reblog & consider following! Buy me a Coffee? https://ko-fi.com/O5O36YKF

Do you know The 4400? Its a show where, over the last 50 years, there have been 4,400 specific disappearances. In the modern day, a ball of light is on a collision course with earth. Before it crashes it slows down, then in a bright flash it deposits all 4,400 of those people. Not one of them has aged a day since their initial disappearance. By all accounts, they were just at the spot and time of their disappearance mere moments ago, even though many occurred decades previously. They’re held for 6 weeks by the government before its determined that they and their families have the right for them to be freed, on the condition that they return for weekly check-ins. Interestingly, after their reappearance, the 4400 begin to display supernatural abilities....

My friend @albino-pony suggested this au! Its one I’ve gotten really into even though I’ve only ever seen the first episode of the show. I’m not entirely sure how to format this so its interesting, but I figure that if you clicked on the readmore and you’re still reading, then you’re ok with some info dumps. So here’s these boys individual timelines. TW For era typical homophobia and racism.

Katsuki

Mitsuki was born in 1914 in Japan’s Aomori prefecture. She was born with albinism, giving her blonde hair and blue eyes. In 1928 Mitsuki immigrated with her family to the United States at age 14, where they were processed at Angel Island, and moved into San Francisco shortly thereafter. She, her parents, and older brother all got jobs as soon as they could. In 1932, amidst the Great Depression, she met Masaru Bakugou and married him in the spring of 1934.

In 1936 Masaru and Mitsuki had their first child, a boy who inherited her albinism, and named him Katsuki. They do their best to provide for him, but it's the Great Depression and they're immigrants who only speak English so well. They scrape by, providing for their boy as best they can. They normally leave their son in the care of an Inko Midoriya, a fellow Japanese immigrant who is being supported by her fairly successful husband.

Then in 1939, things are stabilizing again. Life is getting easier. They still work themselves to the bone but they don't go to bed starving so their growing son can have his best chance. In 1940 life is pretty good. Katsuki's four years old. Mitsuki has a job as a seamstress, and Masaru has an office job. Life is looking up.

December 7th of 1941, Pearl Harbor is bombed. Americans die. Masaru and Mitsuki are scared about the possibilities of war and what it could mean for their little one. But they decide to do their part and work as hard as they can for their new home, because they're Americans, and they love this country and the hope it holds for their son.

February 1942, the Bakugous are detained and put in a Japanese Internment camp in southern California, where they spend the next three years. Katsuki is five years old when they’re forced out of their home, and he remembers the train ride. He remembers his father holding him as they walked. He remembers the cold. He remembers the three coldest winters he ever felt, and he remembers the burning blazing heat of the three hottest summers he ever endured. He remembers the scorching desert of Manzanar. He remembers the stuffy air of the tight quarters. He remembers.

September 1945, The Bakugous finally leave Manzanar. They’re among the last to go. They go home to San Francisco and try to move on. Katsuki is nine years old. His parents are disturbed at how bad anti-japanese sentiment has gotten in the time they were at Manzanar. Mitsuki finds an old magazine in a waiting room with an article on how to tell Japanese people from Chinese. Masaru is spat on and called various racial slurs. They're terrified for their son, and do their best to shield him from it. When Inko Midoriya’s husband is killed only a few blocks away because he was Japanese and his murderer talked about how his brother was killed in action by them, Mitsuki doesn't let her son play outside anymore.

December 1945, Mitsuki realizes she’s pregnant again.

September 19th, 1946, Tsubaki Bakugou is born.

February 27th, 1947, Tsubaki Bakugou dies of whooping cough at four months old, her family lacking access to the vaccine. Katsuki is eleven years old, and is the one to find her body after his mother asked him to check on her.

June 1947, Mitsuki pays closer attention to her remaining child, terrified of losing him too. She gets worried. Mitsuki starts to notice how fond he is of his friends, and how little he seems to care about girls.

1948, She starts to worry about the way he looks at other boys and the movie stars of his favorite pictures. She asks him one night if he likes boys better than girls, and when he says yes she cries and tells him that he has to learn to like girls, and that liking boys is bad and he can't do it anymore. She doesn't let him go to the cinema anymore, and doesn't let him go out at all with his friends unless Izuku is there with him, because she knows Izuku will tell his mom if anything weird happens, and that Inko will tell her. She doesn't tell Masaru.

1949, When Katsuki is 13, Mitsuki and Inko talk, and they end up sending both of their sons to military school. Inko hopes it will help her son to stand up for himself, and Mitsuki hopes it will teach Katsuki discipline and order. It helps Izuku. It tames Katsuki's attitude toward adults, but his treatment of the other kids only gets worse. The only thing he learns there is how to pretend.

1952, Katsuki is 16, he's visiting home. He fights with his mother. They call each other all manner of horrible things. He tells her he never wants to see her again. She tells him thats fine, and to go. Katsuki goes for a walk to clear his head.

He never comes home.

Eijirou

Eijirou is born on October 16th, 1970 in upstate new york. His timeline is shorter than Katsuki’s because I dont know as much about 70s/80s culture in new york that would have affected a young japanese american man, so theres only a few really important events in his life that I know for sure of.

July 28, 1982 - Eijirou is 11 years old and sees Queen live on their Hot Space Tour in NYC, and it blows his fucking mind. It instills in him a love of music, and whenever he needs to psych himself up for something he listens to those songs and remembers that energy.

1984 - He comes out as gay to his parents and is kicked out. He takes a bus to the city and ends up being embraced and taken care of by some members of the punk scene and NYC gay communities.

1985 - The man who took care of Eijirou, Taishiro Toyomitsu, better known by his stage name Fatgum, dies of HIV related complications.

1986 - On his way back to the shitty apartment he shares with his bandmates from a concert they were a part of, Eijirou stops to pee in an alley way or something, and disappears in a flash of light.

When the 4400 appear back on earth in the modern day, many experience small physical changes. For example, Eijirou and Katsuki have red eyes, and Izuku’s hair is slightly green. Todoroki’s hair is half white, and half red.

People Who Reappeared in the 4400 and When/Where

Touya Todoroki - 1923 - Japan

Tenya Iida - 1924 - Great Britain (London)

Shoto Todoroki - 1930 - Japan

Yagi Toshinori - 1946 - America

Katsuki Bakugou - 1952 - America (San Francisco, California)

Izuku Midoriya - 1952 - America (San Francisco, California)

Fumikage Tokoyami - 1961 - America (West Virginia)

Hawks (whats your real fucking name u shit) - 1961 - America (West Virginia)

Yuga Aoyama - 1968 - France

Tooru Hagakure - 1970 - New Zealand

Denki Kaminari - 1977 - America

Ochako Uraraka - 1985 - United Kingdom

Eijirou Kirishima - 1986 - America (New York, New York)

Momo Yaoyarozu - 1989 - West Germany (Berlin)

Shota Aizawa - 1992 - Japan (Tokyo)

Ashido Mina - 1996 - Japan

Hanta Sero - 2000 - China (Yunnan Province)

Kyouka Jiro - 2005 - America

Tsuyu Asui - Literally like a week before they reappeared - America

More will be added as they’re decided on!

#kiribaku #bakushima #Bakugou Katsuki #MHA #BNHA #Kirishima Eijirou #My Art

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noitsactuallyrebecca · 5 years

Text

Lover Review

I Forgot That You Existed

This song resonates with me so much. I feel like I never think about my ex and when I do I’m like wow I forgot about you. She literally took the words right out of my mind and the beat is so perfect for it because you want to be so happy when you remember something that you thought would hurt you but doesn’t 10/10

Cruel Summer

HE LOOKS UP GRINNING LIKE A DEVIL oh my god I actually sob when she says that line because it just puts me in a mood I can’t explain. The first time I heard it I wasn't like totally on board with it but it grew on me so fast I want to sway fast in the living room and scream it at the top of my lungs 10/10

Lover

my wedding song 10/10

The Man

Holy shit Taylor you really did it didn’t you. This song could be your biggest hit and I’ll never stop bopping to it, it was the perfect time for this song. The deep voice she has in the song is everything we ever needed 10/10

The Archer

I fully believe this is the most vulnerable song she has ever written, whether it be about how she feels about her relationship or even the way she sees herself we can all relate to it and how we have this sense of doubt in ourselves and if the other person can see it wow 10/10

I Think He Knows

Catch me strutting down the hallway of my house to this song, gives me a little more of a sped up version of wildest dreams if that makes any sense at all and the chorus makes me feel like I’m dancing in 13 going on 30 or something with my friends or should be playing while I couch surf in Princess Diaries 2 i don’t even understand either 10/10

Miss Americana and The Heartbreak Prince

So Lana Del Rey its insane like I just imagine the visuals on tour for this are going to be out of this world. I feel like I should be dancing to this song in the woods slowing leaning on trees and peeking out while I sing 10/10

Paper Rings

This reminds me so so so much of Kesha’s album Rainbow, specifically Let Em Talk and I absolutely love it. I get a really good 60s dancing vibe exactly like she does in the ME! video. If I get pulled over in the next few weeks it will be from my lack of dance moves in the car on my way home from work. But I will say when she says “you’re the one I want” all quiet near the end, do not ask me why but it reminds me of when John Mulaney says “I know you don’t drink” in his New In Town Stand up but for real this is THE hairbrush song 10/10

Cornelia Street

I don’t think there are even words to fully explain how incredible of a song this is. wow. The way this song starts makes me feel like I’m going to be watching my favorite romcom that always makes me cry and believe that love actually exists. I am the most excited to hear this on tour. Its one I could see her floating across the stadium to while I sob, My roommate also thinks she should be saying “I never want Cornelia Street to end” and now thats all I sing too 100000/10

Death By A Thousand Cuts

The beginning of this song reminds me of a horror film but i love horror films and thats how I knew I stanned this song before the lyrics even began. I felt that looking at the lyrics that I was going to be a slow sad song but I’m so glad its upbeat like AYHTDWS. it’s literally her older, wiser sister. I also love the pinball wizard type piano in the back. BRIDGE CITY BITCH BRIDGE BRIDGE CITY BITCH 13/10

London Boy

If you don’t think every single picture I post next summer in London won’t be from this song you’re CRAZY. The best way to listen to this song would be with some heart sunglasses on, windows down, driving at night and I can’t tell you why, you just have to do it. It’s the most fun on this album and reminds me of how I felt about Gorgeous 10/10

Soon You’ll Get Better

The absolute most personal song Taylor has ever released. This was something so hard for her to do but she also knows how many of her fans go through similar things and this allows them to feel a little closer to her and knowing they aren’t going through it all alone. It just makes me hold my loved one’s even closer every day 10/10

False God

This song gives me such So It Goes vibes and I feel like its not going to get justice on tour just like she didn’t. It’s so different than a lot other other songs and I think it incorporates every type of pop song in one which is absolutely incredible to me. 10/10

You Need To Calm Down

This is my new Shake It Off. The way Shake It Off could automatically put me in a better mood, now YNTCD does it. This song opened up so many people’s eyes to the album and how it’s much more than the first single. Hearing this live at GMA did something to me and just made me so happy and I can’t believe I’ll get to hear it at tour. It just makes me so happy. 10/10

Afterglow

I get really good, Bad Liar vibes from this. i think I say this because I don’t think I’ve heard a song like this in a long time and I was kind of confused of how no one thought of it before, just like how I felt when Selena released Bad Liar. This song is always stuck in my head and I hope it never leaves. 10/10

ME!

Definitely a really good intro single for the album. I honestly don’t think any other song could’ve done well enough for the introduction of Lover tot he world than ME! It just is such a good self love song. It also gave us our lord and savior Benjamin Button 10/10

It’s Nice To Have A Friend

This is the perfect song for a rainy day, sitting on the porch, watching people walk up and down the street. So simple yet delicate and can definitely put tears in my eyes. I really like that theres not a chorus or a change in the beat, the trumpets in the middle is so unique and makes me feel like its just a regular day in the life as taylor 10/10

Daylight

By far the best album closer. As if the other songs don’t scream that Taylor is happy and in love, this one does the most. The line that stuck with me the most is “I once believed love would be burning red but its golden” because she thought she was in love so many times and thought it was the real thing that would last because it was red to her. She saw the different color of love and how even though it wasn’t what she thought it would be, it was the real thing. I’m just so impressed with this album. Taylor always thought that she couldn’t write a song like Tenerife Sea and here we are with some of the most incredible, raw, heartwarming lyrics of any artist. She did it. 10/10

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huangfilms · 6 years

Text

Florist!Renjun

summary: i need cash because it’s summer and my parents don’t give me allowance so i applied for this job and on the first day someone ran into me and now i have coffee all over me and wow you’re pretty cute but i gtg and when i first check in for my shift i see you there,,, with my boss,,, who’s your grandma-- oh im working with you

(A/N) ok kids i am back with another renjun bulleted fic!!!! because i have nothing else to do!!! I honestly don’t know how this is going to go but I hope u like whatever i made, feedback is appreciated! also i suck at summaries so let’s Just Pretend that i have a decent summary up there

i mean I Love Flowers ya know

renjun is a flower himself but u dont know that yet

so it’s summer break and you want to make that ca$h money because ur parents don’t give u allowance during the summer,, that Blows.

okay well you decide to apply for some job in places that interest you

like the cafe around the corner of your family’s apartment complex

or the photography studio, or the arts studio

maybe even the animal shelter because!!! animals!!!

but none of those really caught your attention

sure u liked smelling coffee at like,, 5 am, and u liked taking nice pictures and drawing, and you loved!!! animals!!!

but the thing you loved the most

u guessed it!! flowers!!!

so there was a really cute flower shop that was just across your home

and you applied ofc

step one: done

all u need to do is to w a i t

but you’ve checked out the place, and its literally the cutest place ever!!!

you Really Want The Job Now

so you get a cute little envelope in the mail saying that you could start full time in like 2 days!

u get super psyched because it’s your first job

so fast forward two days, and u wake up bright and early because you’re really excited!!!

when you walk in, you see the cutest old lady just watering the plants

the door jingles since there’s a bell, and she turns around and just looks at you for like,, 5 seconds

and then she gives you THE MOST PRECIOUS SMILE EVER

so she goes in to tell you what you should do today, and says that her grandson will be working with you for summer as well

and you’re like??? oh

because you don’t

you’ve never interacted,,

with,,, boys.

you get SHY my dude but it’s all good because he arrives tomorrow from where ever he came from

SO anyway, you water the plants, tend to the customers, and all that jazz

you go home and you start to think about her grandson,, like

what does he look like? is he nice or what??? how old,,, is he???

so you think about ur job and then you have anxiety because wow new people who might be ur age

that doesn’t mix well with you

(unless you’re a social butterfly but a bitch can’t relate)

so you wake up and you’re feeling a little nervous to meet this kid

you leave the house really early because you’re just gonna walk around to the cafe before your shift started

but then on the way, you bump into this Pure Soul

and he spills coffee all over you

and it’s ho t like that boy?? facts

who drinks hot coffee in summer

ANYWAY you jump in shock and let out a yelp from how hot it is, and then you look up about to POP OFF but then u take a look at him

and he’s a mess, he looks so flustered, he’s r e d, and he’s stuttering out apologies

and then he dabs your t-shirt with the s i n g l e napkin that he has, wasn’t going to help but hey, A for Effort

and u gotta admit, it’s kinda cute

but anyway you say that it’s fine, it was an honest mistake, and it was kind of, both of your faults.

so he apologizes once more and then offers up his light jacket, but then u refuse because your apartment isn’t even that far away.

so you leave hastily before u could get the Cute Boy’s Name

and u literally run to change into like a sweater or something, and then Blast to the flower shop

and u see that boy again with the cute old lady

and then u connect th e dots

it’s the grandson

oh god

and your heart??? speedy fast, like,,, sonic Wishes

so you say a greeting to his gma, and then u speed walk to check in and then start your shift

idk u felt lowkey embarrassed cause!! cute boy!! u ran!! now hes h ere!!

it isnt until the pot is overflowing to know that youre overthinking a lot, and there’s like,,, a huge puddle,, at your feet,,,

so you almost drop the stupid watering can and then fuck your life over because that boy??

across from u

in the next isle

looking at u

and he

He Smiles That Smile

I think he was trying not to laugh because he puts his hand over his mouth

i mean,,,,, u embarrassed urself once more

big OOF

but anyway you turn ur self to look away from him becaus e You Just Cant look at him

But life goes on,,,

Fast forward like idk, maybe 2 hours??? you get your first break of the day so u tell ur boss that you are just going to get a snack back at that cafe that u didn’t get to go into yet cause of That Boy

she tells u to be careful and that you could take like 30 minutes to an hour since you were working so hard

i mean, you were just watering plants but ok,, thanks gma

ur getting off topic sis

and then d cute boy decides he’s gonna take his break too

wow life must be Crazy to have you blessed with his presence

So you see him just like jogging to catch up to you and you hear his little ‘Wait!!’

then you feel all giddy inside because he??? wants to go??? with you???? wha t

anyway you slow your step a little so he can catch up and then he

he puts his hand on your shoulder WOW PHYSICAL CONTACT

and your heart skipped a beat more like all of them

and then he like,,, he kept his hand on your back while you guys were walking

a whole?? gentleman???

you guys didn’t really talk on the way to the cafe but u really wish u did

because u get in there, you order a snacc, and then u guys sit

in awkward

silence

and its so cringeworthy

is this embarrassment installment number 3?? why must life Play You Like This

when you’re about to Finally say something, your guys’ orders were called up and he offered to get them

so he went with a small smile and left u with your Stupid Thoughts

but he left for like 5 seconds LMAO

so anyway

he comes back, and you both go to talk at the same time--

‘Oh no u should go first’ and then he laughs

wtf that sounded beautiful

but u don’t even remember what you were going to say

yeah, staring at his face is THAT powerful

‘oh um its ok i kinda forgot haha’

and then its awkward again

embarrassment installment number 4???

of course though you guys introduce yourselves

“My name’s Renjun”

so he just smiles and tries small talk, like why u decided to get a job, or if you’re still in school, your hobbies

all the great stuff ya feel

and by the end of the break you guys are getting closer

i mean you guys arent in any awkward silences anymore

you guys are walking back to your shifts and for the rest of the time

its just you guys messing around

like you guys Got Close hm who knew also this is getting long oops

but it’s the end of your shift,,, and then u go to check out and leav e

and it isnt until you get home that you didnt even

get his number

ayo ma can i get yo numba

so youre just in bed.

questioning life

but hey!! you made a new friend!!

life goes the same for the next few weeks or so,,, and you and renjun become Really Really Close

So close that youre actually leaving your house!! Voluntarily!!

and one day you go in to your kitchen

to see flowers on the table

and a card right next to it lol its in your moms hand

and you just go up to it cause you see your name on the card

you McSnatch the card away bc your moms all like ‘you have a secret admirer’ and she gives you the Mom Look

so you just Blush and read the stupid card

‘Please come to work, i miss seeing your pretty face.’ and you go !!!! what !!!

and so you throw on some pants and the closest t-shirt near you

and then you yell that you’re going to work

so you step into the flower shop and there are wa y more flowers than you remember there to be

like theres,,, one spot that has Just Flowers

and you walk up to it and then

Renjun comes to scare you what a little shit

and then you yelp!! once more!!

and then he!! hugs !! you!!

but not before he gives you all of these flowers!!!!

and then he!!! says!! he made the arrangement!! just!! for!!! you!!!

so on the inside you are yelling!! wtfkdfjlsdjg

and you are just wondering w hat did you ever do to deserve this precious

and the he!! says!!

‘Will you be my girlfriend?’ and then he just!! smiles so big!

because you say of course!!!

He is a whole Catch, he’s caring, knows how to joke around, AND he’s cute!!!

okay but boyfriend renjun who is also your co-worker would be so cute!

because you would be watering the plants, and then you would see some flowers around with small notes tied with ribbons

with the CUTEST messages on them

and you keep every single one of them in a jar on your desk

by now you have 3 jars filled

thanks for making me the Softest Stan Renjun

and so you would always find cute arrangements in you home!!

and his gma would b watching in the back with That Look

she would think ‘i made a good decision’

BECAUSE SHE DID

his gma: god tier

but anyway florist!renjun who is also your bf!! would be so!! cute!! wtf!!

my heart: melting

honestly my heart cannot handle

SO you guys would just b so happy with each other, life is good,,,

and everytime someone asks how you guys got together,,, youwould always say

lol his grandma like u would Not Believe

but you would always say that the flower shop you both work in, has brought you guys together.

Masterlist

#huang renjun scenarios #unlisted

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fancyharry · 6 years

Text

You Bring Me Home

Part 19 of You Bring Me Home, a Harry Styles series. Parts will not be uploaded in chronological order, but all belong to the same storyline. You can find all the Chapter Names and any previous content to the plot here.

chapter xix. “you can tell her now”

The radio had been playing softly in the car as he remained quiet, your nervous rambling complementing his listening ears, keeping his own giddiness at bay since he knew how nervous you were for the sudden eruption of reactions you were sure to receive from his family that night. They had previously welcomed you in with open arms, and immediately made you feel at home in their company. But now, rather than your kindness, love for their harry, and a wicked sense of humour and compassion, you had something else to bring to the family - a new member, nestled between your hips and growing more and more each day. The reason for yours and harry’s sublime happiness over the past months.

The car was still heading down the street as you continued to ramble on.

“Your mum w-”

“will be over the moon”

“And Gemma-”

“will try and kidnap them the moment they’re born. They love you, I love you.” he’d smiled, putting his hand on your tummy, covering the whole thing. “We love you”.

The cold december breeze had been somewhat welcome after a much too humid autumn. However now, as it swept through the pathway leading to a kind, friendly home which you and Harry knew so fondly, it was pushing into your lungs a new type of air, mixing with excitement, nerves, and anticipation all at once.

Harry rings the bell, his sleeve rolling up inside his coat. You’re wearing a sweater too - it had come to be the perfect climate to keep the gradual swell of your stomach hidden and safely warm, tucked away from the heavy wind and rain which had been storming down in London the past week. You smile and tear up, something which Harry quickly has to address, otherwise the game will be up from the moment you set foot into his mother’s home.

“Darling,” Harry smiles “Theres nothing to be worried about, especially with Mum. You said it yourself, we can definitely tell her now. We’re past any possible complications, and it’s not like they’re going to view you differently just because they’ll now know that we’ve...yeh know...”. He smirks as you hear shuffling behind the door coming from inside the house.

“Harry! You can’t tell me they don’t know anything of the kind when your own sister caught us in your room last easter! We were meant to be at church, and instead we were-”

“Sinning, hmmm yes, tut tut. Shame we can’t be that way with this one on the way” he grins and you roll your eyes “I suppose after tonight we’ll have to try our best to be sensible. Set a good example an’ that. ”

“Don’t make me laugh, Styles”

“Don’t be so nervous, Mrs Styles. it won’t be doing the baby any good.”

You’re about to kiss him for calling you out by your married name - his name - when the door opens briskly.

“Harry, y/n! you’re early! Oh- and you brought wine! You can definitely come in now!”

Coats are shrugged off, and Harry helps you out of yours, squeezing your hand in reassurance. The house is lit with a soft warm lighting, candles at various points of the living areas, and the smell of a delicious roast cooking in the oven, browning and crisping up nicely for all of you to eat.

Anne hugs you first, thanking you for the wine, and embraces harry afterwards with a sweet kiss planted on the cheek of her sweet boy, who is still just as smitten with his girl, she notes. Even after 7 years, the two of you were just as in love as ever before.

The dinner is announced to be ready soon, and there’s discussion about plans and anniversaries. Harry is quick to pipe up there; “well if we can make it to 4 we’ll be doing well- heyyy!” He stops his jokes as you’d given him a rightful but teasing slap across the chest.

Dinner is served, and the inevitable occurs. Gemma’s suggestion of; “Hey we should open the wine!” makes you look at Harry with evil eyes. You knew this was going to happen and yet he had insisted that it wouldn’t and that he’d be able to divert the conversation onto something that wouldn't give your secret entirely away before the end of the night. After all, you've been keeping it for over a 6 weeks now - to spoil the last hour or so would just not be right.

And yet here he is, watching Gemma pour you a glass of red wine since you’d had to choke down a “no, i really can’t” to replace it with a weakly worded “yeah, sure”, as he pulls a face, knowing that he regrets his feeble if not lack of attempt in stopping the situation.

You both quickly focus back to the reality of your conversations, chatting away about music and your new home and the possibility of having New Years Eve at yours’ and Harry’s, since christmas was to be at Gemma’s. You don’t dare touch your wine, feigning sips to make it look as though nothing is suspicious. Harry watches these sips like a hawk, wondering what you’re doing - praying you’re not actually drinking.

it’s when he’s watching you around his family that he smiles, and remember that now is a happy time. He should’t need to worry. He’s going to be a dad. Come this summer he’s going to be a daddy and he hasn't told a single soul, not even his own mother.

And now he could.

“I’m sorry, i...i can’t do this anymore”. Harry shakes his head and stands from his place at the table.

“Whats wrong H? What can’t you do?” the murmurs from the table conversations have stopped as Gemma asks the questions now on everyone’s lips.

“Everything okay Harry? Has something happened?” Anne questions sincerely.

He looks over and you, and immediately, you know.

“Harry, you’re saying this now?” you whisper through your teeth because you’d both established a plan, late one night among organising other things baby related, to make sure that both you and him were going to be comfortable with the announcement of the impending Baby Styles.

The table remains silent, bar Anne’s friend Susanne, who had joined you all for the evening. Notably a hardly subtle woman who quickly rushes out her first thought, she has no intention of holding back in this situation.

“You’re not divorcing are you?!”

Everything stops. Even Gemma puts down her wine. Anne looks as though she’s about to faint. They’re all giving you both a look, shock being the first one you register, right after you realise that your lives are now officially going to change forever, and you’re going to change the lives of everyone in the room too.

“Eh, we’d like to hope not. Actually let’s not even joke about that. Come here love” Harry tries a laugh but the nerves in his throat have come back to haunt him and as he asks you to stand with him, you can see his hands shaking.

You stand and he shuffles next to you so that you’re both facing a captive audience, only minutes ago dipping into snacks and enjoying merry banter with each other. A stoney silence fills the room, somewhat in a claustrophobic manner. You feel his hand sneak round your back and hold onto your hip.

Someone gasps.

“I...I could barely wait until Christmas, so we decided to tell you tonight, although it was meant to be after dinner...i just....we can’t put this off anymore, i’m sorry love.” He turns to you and smiles apologetically, but he knows that you would never be mad at him for being this excited. His other hand moves across both your bodies, to land on your stomach. The slight swell warms at his touch.

He stops, almost as if he’s waiting for your approval, or you to speak first. His attention is on you, yet his eyes quickly dart to his mum every few seconds. it feels like hours and the attention is making your cheeks blush a pinky red.

“You can tell her now, H” you smile, more confidently as you find yourself looking at Anne too, and wondering why you had ever been nervous in the first place once you realised that this woman meant so much to you, and loved you as if you were one of her own.

“Well then” he begins his announcement, “My beautiful wife here, is expecting our first child in the summertime. We’re having a baby!” His hand reaches for your stomach once more as he smiles and pulls you in to give you a kiss as the reactions of your closest family and friends raise the roof in the form of shrieks of excitement and tears of joy. You pull away from his soft, sweet, thankful kiss and notice tears of your own, mirrored in his eyes, glazed with their own happiness.

‘Oh my god! You’re pregnant?!” Gemma stands up and shakes off the relief she felt after learning of the not-terrible news they were expecting to hear. Everyone gathers around you to hug, Harry being mindful that no one goes touching you on the stomach, as anyone but him doing so makes you feel uncomfortable.

Anne is still sitting in her place, watching the exchanges of laughter, as happy tears trickle down her face. Her son catches sight and stops in his tracks to quickly tend to her, pulling her into a tight embrace and feeling her smile wrap around him as she presses a quick kiss to his cheek.

The murmur of “so proud” is something he picks up and he faces her again, looking into her eyes. “Yeh gonna be a granny, Nana Anne, if yeh want.”

“And you- I mean, the baby...you’re at a safe time to tell people? I’m so happy for you both, I’m so glad you kept trying.” She hugs him again and again, so happy that she soon becomes speechless. You fumble out of the mass cuddles to embrace her too.

“But you brought wine!” she exclaims, still overwhelmed about the fact that her baby is going to have a baby. “I never- I mean I hoped it would be soon but- may i?” she asks, gesturing to your tummy. Harry is about to butt in with his usual warning that; “eh she’s not that comfy with that” until he hears you reply with a quick yes, not holding back at all as Anne reaches out for the swell that holds her first grandchild.

“Oh yes i can feel that little bump...how far along are you?”

Harry knows this answer like the back of his hand. He only makes a note of it every single day since you found out.

“12 weeks and 2 days. Due in July...” Harry’s hand reaches out to the small of her back and she feels the added support around the bump and relaxes into his touch.

“Well i am so proud and happy for you both, i think this might be the longest and biggest secret Harry’s ever kept from me.” He feels a bit embarrassed as you laugh, but as he looks down at you glowing, the happiest he’s seen you in a long time, he decides that he really, really doesn’t care.

You sleep on the way home, a soft comforter given to you from Anne that was Harry’s first baby blanket and it makes you smile that already your baby is so loved by their family. The blanket is wrapped around your middle and pulled up to allow the softness to rub against your face, easing your tired soul.

Harry looks at you wrapped up in the blanket he remembers fondly from his childhood, driving carefully, careful to avoid potholes and noisy areas on the 10 mile trip home. The moon washes over your good side, and the blanket is doing a good job keeping you and the baby warm. He places a hand on yours which is clinging to his blanket and protecting your tummy. With a light, quiet and soft squeeze of reassurance, he holds your hand if but for a moment, as he reels with joy, overwhelmed once more, by the exhilarating reality that he’s going to be a father.

masterlist / ask

#YBMH #hs writing #harry styles #harry styles writing #dad!harry #my writing #harrysringss #harry's honeys #bribe-the-door #harrywavycurly

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patriotsnet · 3 years

Text

Who Won The Baseball Game Between The Democrats And Republicans

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/who-won-the-baseball-game-between-the-democrats-and-republicans/

Who Won The Baseball Game Between The Democrats And Republicans

Democrats And Republicans Take Fight To The Baseball Field

Republicans and Democrats honor Rep. Steve Scalise at annual baseball game

For one night every summer, Rep. Cedric Richmond is the most powerful man in Congress.

On Thursday, following one of the most bitter party clashes ever witnessed on the House floor, the right-handed Louisiana lawmaker will try to lead his Democratic colleagues to their eighth consecutive win over Republicans in the annual Congressional Baseball Game at Nationals Park.

The game is one of the longest-running rivalries in both sports and politics. Organized by professional baseball player-turned-congressman John Tener, it was first played in 1909. Yet no match-up in recent memory has taken place under such partisan hostility: Thursday’s game follows an on Democratic sit-in over gun control measures that began before noon Wednesday and stretched through the next afternoon.

With both parties doing battle in the chamber well into the early morning hours, there also looms the question as to which side of the aisle will win the annual game, which has been sponsored since 1962 by Roll Call, the media outlet that presents the Roll Call Trophy.

It’s an extremely competitive game because the players are the most competitive people in the world, said former New Mexico Gov. Bill Richardson, a long-time Democratic team member during his time in Congress.

Related: In 2014, Democrats’ Pitching Too Hot for GOP at Congressional Baseball Game

Related: Pizza, Pillows Help Fuel the House Rebellion

Related: Democrats Continue Gun Control Sit-In as Paul Ryan Adjourns House

The Virginia Shooting Fallout Was Predictably Partisan Can This Ever Be Fixed

Some see in the gulf between Democrats and Republicans a parallel to discourse prior to the civil war, while others hope Americans will tire of the anger

It would be hard to imagine an institution more out of tune with the prevailing tone of modern American politics than the annual congressional baseball game. The Republican and Democratic teams play each other to win, but they do so in a spirit of friendship across the aisle that is all but nonexistent on Capitol Hill these days.

Even the running score between them entering the week of the contest was thoroughly bipartisan: 79 encounters since 1909, 39 wins each .

So the Republicans practice ground in Alexandria, Virginia, on the day before this years engagement made for an especially jarring choice of target when a lone gunman opened fire at 7.09am on Wednesday, critically injuring the House majority whip Steve Scalise and wounding three others. It was as if one of the last oases of civility in American public life had been torn by an outburst of violent hatred.

Partisan violence, at that. When details emerged of the shooter, himself killed in the exchange of fire, it turned out that James T Hodgkinson was a self-styled democratic socialist with a track record of assailing Donald Trump on social media. One of his Facebook entries called Trump a traitor and said: Its Time to Destroy Trump & Co.

Decorum is gone, John Hernandez, a 52-year-old realtor, lamented.

Democrats And Republicans Display Rare Unity At Congressional Ballgame After Shooting

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politics

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The Annual Event Comes Exactly One Year After A Morning Practice Turned Violent When A Gunman Opened Fire On Republican Lawmakers Gravely Wounding The Louisiana Lawmaker And Others

9:10 PM on Jun 14, 2018 CDT

WASHINGTON ;They say theres no crying in baseball.

But that was before a member of Congress ;House Majority Whip Steve Scalise ;was gravely wounded in a shooting during practice for a charity game, spent a year in painstaking recovery, and returned to the diamond for the annual contest just one year later.

On the games first pitch, he fielded a grounder and, from his knees,;threw out California Democrat Raul Ruiz. The crowd erupted as lawmakers, even Ruiz, huddled with him in celebration.

And with that, the 2018 Congressional Baseball Game was underway ;though the Republican excitement would soon fade as the Democrats continued their winning streak with a blowout 21-5 victory.

Sweet moment as Rep. Steve Scalise is mobbed by his teammates after snagging a grounder on the first pitch of tonight’s congressional baseball game.A year ago, Scalise was among four people shot during a GOP practice for the annual charity contest.

ABC News

The annual event comes exactly one year after a morning practice turned violent when James Hodgkinson, of Illinois, opened fire on the lawmakers, wounding;Scalise and lobbyist Matt Mika, as well as Austin Rep. Roger Williams aide Zack Barth and Capitol Police officer Crystal Griner. The gunman died after exchanging fire with Scalises security detail.

Roomies that gear together, stay together, Brady, chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, tweeted earlier this week.

Congressional Baseball Game Takes On Greater Meaning After Shooting

WASHINGTON; Republicans and Democrats took the field for their annual charity baseball game;Thursday, setting aside politics for a few hours of;spirited competition;a day after a shooting rampage left a wounded colleague fighting for survival.

The Congressional Baseball Game for Charity, played before a record crowd,;took on a more serious tone this year, as;organizers and attendees said it was a chance to show the nation that more u

nites Americans of both parties than divides them, and that the event could not be shut down by a gunman.

“I have some friends who are interns who were talking about going, and after the shooting, I mean, I have to go,” said Emily Cleveland of;Danville, Ill., as she entered Nationals Park for the game. “I think it’s a big statement that they’re still having it. I think it’s saying a lot because it’s America’s pastime. It’s a really American thing to do, to just go ahead anyway.”

A gunman opened fire on the;Republican;baseball team’s practice on a suburban Virginia field Wednesday, critically wounding Louisiana Rep. Steve Scalise and injuring three other people as;legislators and staffers;scrambled for cover;amid a barrage of bullets.

Scalise, the third most powerful Republican in the House, was shot through the hip and was listed in critical condition at Medstar Washington Hospital Center Thursday after undergoing;several surgeries.

The shooting only drew more people to the game Thursday evening.

Tonight we are all Team Scalise, Pelosi said.

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Bleach Peddler: Trump Consumed ‘miracle Cure’

Ed Pilkington

The leader of a spurious church which peddled industrial bleach as a miracle cure for Covid-19 is claiming he provided Donald Trump with the product in the White House shortly before the former president made his notorious remarks about using disinfectant to treat the disease.

In the 90-minute interview he effectively presents himself as the source of Trumps fixation with the healing powers of disinfectant.

We were able to give through a contact with Trumps family a family member the bottles in my book, Grenon says. And he mentioned it on TV: I found this disinfectant.

Full story:

The Delta Variant Is Spreading What Does It Mean For The Us

Donald Trump has zero desire to be speaker of the House of Representatives, his spokesman has said, though the former president continues to entertain discussion of the outlandish idea.

Under congressional rules, the House speaker does not have to be a sitting member of Congress, though all of them so far have been.

The notion of a Trump speakership was raised by his former adviser Steve Bannon. Trump himself called it so interesting last week, while current House minority leader and aspiring speaker Kevin McCarthy perhaps ironically misspoke when he seemed to encourage speculation.

McCarthy told Fox News: You know, Ive talked to President Trump many times, he tells me he wants to be speaker, and I think he should be president.

A spokesperson later said the California representative had meant to say Trump thought McCarthy should be speaker.

On Monday, Trump was asked about the idea in an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network. Characteristically, he failed to fully disown it.

Well, Trump said, Ive heard the talk and its getting more and more. But its not something that I would have considered but certainly theres a lot of talk about it.

I have a good relationship with Kevin, and hopefully we will do everything traditionally so I have seen talk about that but its nothing that Ive ever considered.

Punchbowl News asked Jason Miller, Trumps outgoing spokesman, for comment.

Trump, Miller said, has zero desire to be speaker.

Read Also: How Many Republicans Are In The House Of Representatives 2012

In Washington To Stall A Texas Gop

By Gromer Jeffers Jr.

6:09 PM on Aug 12, 2021 CDT

AUSTIN–Texas House Democrats who are camped in Washington and pushing for federal election reform legislation have more than voting rights in mind.

They also hope that getting a requirement that state election law changes must have federal approval will impact the upcoming process to redraw Texas legislative boundaries. There are also separate proposals that would curb the gerrymandering of legislative districts.

The Texas Legislature is expected to convene this fall for a special session on redistricting, where Republicans controlling the Senate, House and governors office will have nearly unchecked power to draw whatever legislative boundaries they want.

Just as they are doing with the controversial elections bill, Democrats hope federal lawmakers will be their cavalry.

Were very pleased that our advocacy in Washington last month has helped contribute to this accelerated timetable, said Rep. Chris Turner, D-Grand Prairie and chairman of the House Democratic Caucus. Having a strong Voting Rights Act with preclearances is an essential tool to combating regressive Republican voting laws, as well as discriminatory redistricting plans. It was one of the key tools that was used in the last round of redistricting.

On Thursday the federal government began releasing population data from the most recent census that will be used to redraw local and federal election boundaries.

Do You Think Key Members Of The Biden Cabinet Should Resign In The Wake Of The Chaotic Withdrawal From Afghanistan

Batter Up: Republicans, Democrats Gear Up for 56th Congressional Baseball Game

Republicans have been wary of the media for decades, most put off by such irritants as a pronounced liberal bias in much news coverage plus a tendency among journalists to mix news with opinion and political slant. The trend, however, has gotten worse.

In just five years, the percentage of Republicans with at least some trust in national news organizations has been cut in half dropping from 70% in 2016 to 35% this year. This decline is fueling the continued widening of the partisan gap in trust of the media, says a new Pew Research Center analysis based on a jumbo survey of over 10,000 people.

Nearly eight-in-ten Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents say they have a lot or some trust in the information that comes from national news organizations 43 percentage points higher than Republicans and Republican leaners , wrote analysts Jeffrey Gottfried and Jacob Liedke.

TOP STORIES‘Shaken to the core’: Terrorism fears increasing for U.S. allies, Hagerty says

This partisan gap is the largest of any time that this question has been asked since 2016. And it grows even wider to 53 points between liberal Democrats and conservative Republicans the authors said.

The 35% of Republicans who have at least some trust in national news organizations in 2021 is half that of in 2016 and has dropped 14 points since late 2019 . By comparison, Democrats have remained far more consistent in the past five years, ranging somewhere between 78% and 86%.

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Trump Has Zero Desire To Be Speaker Of House Spokesman Says

Oregon progressive Senator Jeff Merkley and Minnesotas Senator and former Democratic presidential candidate, Amy Klobuchar, introduced the For the People Act, along with majority leader Chuck Schumer, in the Senate in March.

Jeff Merkley

. is absolutely right. This bill is critical for our country. We must fight with everything we’ve got to pass the For the People Act and save our democracy.

Today they probably know it is going to be parked in a cul-de-sac and the Republicans, aided by Democrat Joe Manchin, are going to throw away the keys.

Heres what Merkley tweeted yesterday.

Jeff Merkley

Make no mistake: Our democracy is in crisis. Republican lawmakers are trying to restrict Americans’ right to vote all across the country. Tomorrow we have a chance to right these wrongs by passing the For the People Act. We must get it done!

And heres Klobuchar earlier today reminding everyone that Barack Obama has spoken out to support a compromise version of the bill put forward by Manchin .

Amy Klobuchar

Biden’s Gain Is Democratic Baseball’s Loss With Cedric Richmond

Cedric RichmondSunday shows – Biden domestic agenda, Texas abortion law dominateBiden adviser: ‘Full steam ahead’ on .5T package despite Manchin warningMORE , who announced Tuesday he would join the new administration as a senior adviser to the president-elect.

Democrats are losing perhaps the best player in the long history of the Congressional Baseball Game, which began in 1909.

With a fastball that regularly flirted with 80 miles per hour, Richmond was the games star player during a five-year Democratic winning streak from 2011 to 2015.

Over those five years, Richmond compiled a 2.85 ERA and 45 strikeouts in 27 innings pitched.;

When hes on, hes just unhittable, said ex-Rep. Joe BartonJoe Linus BartonRep. Ron Wright dies after contracting COVID-19Biden’s gain is Democratic baseball’s loss with Cedric RichmondBottom lineMORE , the former longtime coach of the GOP side.

Democrats have won eight of the last nine games in large part due to Richmond, 47, who played outfield for Morehouse College and picked up the game in Little League starting when he was;5 years old.

Richmond accumulated a 2.5 wins above replacement, an advanced statistic that measures a players worth in wins above a replacement-level player, in eight career games, FiveThirtyEight;reported;in 2019.

We always say that Democrats have a deep bench, but when it comes to baseball, it was pretty much just Cedric, said ex-Rep. Joseph Crowley , a former player on the Democratic team.

Read Also: What Is Difference Between Democrats And Republicans

The Crack Of Gunfire Shatters The Comity Of One Remaining Bipartisan Tradition

Nationals Park in Washington, where the Congressional Baseball Game is scheduled to take place Thursday, a day after Rep. Steve Scalise and four others were shot during practice Wednesday.hide caption

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Nationals Park in Washington, where the Congressional Baseball Game is scheduled to take place Thursday, a day after Rep. Steve Scalise and four others were shot during practice Wednesday.

There’s nothing that quite says summer like baseball.

A baseball field is a sanctuary for millions of boys and girls, moms and dads. From the working class to the white collar, from the Marine to the congressman, America’s pastime has been a respite from the day-to-day grind for generations.

Republicans Disappointed In Mlb All

WASHINGTON The Republican National Committee is pushing back against Major League Baseballs decision to move the All-Star game out of Atlanta, Georgia, in opposition to the states new election rules.

I think the best thing that MLB can do now is to immediately retract their decision, Congresswoman Claudia Tenney said.

Tenney says the decision hurts local businesses and minority communities.

Its looking like a potentially, $100-million loss and then theyre going to move it to Colorado which has more restrictive voting rules, Tenney said.

In a statement Friday, RNC Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel blamed President Joe Biden, saying Georgias Black-owned small businesses are paying the price for his reckless misinformation campaign.

But Democrats say Major League Baseball has a right to take a stand against overly restrictive voting rules.

Well, I was actually glad to see Major League Baseball stand up and say that were not going to be in a place where leaders are deliberately moving backwards, Congressman Jim Himes said.

Himes and the White House say Georgia Republicans are worried about losing power.

The Republican party sadly has realized that when lots of people vote, you get an outcome like you got in Georgia, of all places. They dont win, Himes said.

For politicians who didnt like the outcome, theyre not changing their policies to win more votes, theyre changing the rules to exclude more voters, White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki said.

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Rogue City Leaders: How Republicans Are Taking Power Away From Mayors

State lawmakers are preempting the ability of city leaders to enforce their own regulations. The moves represent a sharp ideological shift for a party that has long championed local control.

Arizona Republican Gov. Doug Ducey arrives for a news conference to talk about the latest Arizona COVID-19 information in Phoenix on Dec. 2, 2020. | Ross D. Franklin/AP Photo

06/23/2021 04:30 AM EDT

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Mayors and city councils across Arizona issued face mask mandates during the pandemic to prevent the spread of Covid-19, angering conservative state lawmakers who decried government overreach. So the legislators turned to the newest Republican playbook and passed a law allowing businesses to ignore those public health requirements.

The one-line preemption law signed in April by Republican Gov. Doug Ducey, who refused to issue a statewide mask order, wont make much of an immediate difference now. It doesnt go into effect until later this year, and local officials have lifted mask mandates in compliance with CDC guidelines as the threat of the virus subsides.

But the bills main sponsor says it was needed to ensure rogue city leaders cant impose mask mandates again, should another outbreak occur.

An usher holds a sign to remind fans to wear masks during a spring training baseball game between the Oakland Athletics and the Arizona Diamondbacks in Scottdale, Ariz. | Ashley Landis/AP Photo

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in-paradox-space · 3 years

Video

youtube

TL;DR:

I haven’t taken codeine in 3 days. I don’t feel any withdrawal. I feel energised. I feel good. I feel great. I am happy. I am okay. I am healing. My skin is healing. My body is healing. My joy is back. I am healing. I am grateful for everything in my life and the blessings and the power invested in me by the Love and Grace of The Lord. I am okay and I am well. That’s that now. Onto the next healing journey. Peace and love guys. Thank you :)

I haven’t taken codeine in 3 days (or 2 days?)

It’s Monday; on Saturday the time came where I usually take a small dose just to keep stable.

A few weeks ago I was normally taking multiple doses a day. Most usually, it’s paracetamol and codeine pills. I’d be consuming a lot of paracetamol, which isn’t generally good for the liver, just for the codeine. You can cold water extract the paracetamol out of the pills but I have been down that route before and felt for me it is a slippery slope.

I’ve been trying to recover from some health problems and lose weight too. Notably, at the moment, my eczema; my diet and weight kind of affects that I feel. It got pretty bad in Winter.

I was cutting out a lot of foods I knew were making it worse but I still knew the codeine was playing a big role in it.

So, I had a moment of some willpower.

I began not to take codeine in the day wherever I could. I’d just take one or two pills at night as I went to sleep. There were days which I felt I just needed something to numb me, to take away physical sensations(e.g. bad eczema days) or just cope with that lingering feeling of gloom which many can relate to. My domestic life often does cause many feelings of ... not goodness.

Yeah...

things are going well.

It became a normal thing to only take one pill at night, sometimes two. It became less frequent for me to take more.

My diet has been improved significantly the past few weeks. My skin has finally showed a confirmation of healing. I’ve felt I was healing the past few weeks and I’m so glad to say now that to some degree - although, it is still healing - it has healed.

I have binged on cookies and foods I really should not be eating the past 2/3 days. That is going to set me back for sure. If I stop today then the damage is done. Then I can continue healing and progress.

But it’s healing. I can see now I’m going to be okay on that front. :)

I’m good. I will be okay. I’m healing. My skin will heal. I am going to heal. I will heal. I will heal. I am healing. :)

I am healing :’)

Anyway.

I just. The time came on Saturday. A sadness comes of course, because substances like codeine affect mood, after a relative amount of hours since the last dose, the sadness comes.

I just. I felt it. But... I decided, “no. I am not going to take the codeine. That’s it.”

I just stopped.

3 days later. I don’t crave it.

I am okay. I smoked weed on that day too. Medicinally.

Well. I smoked it. It’s a medicine. I don’t smoke large amounts. You know. It doesn’t need to be so deep.

and on that day, well, yeah. I could feel the desire growing stronger to take it. Like now is the time. After a few hours on the laptop I just felt crap

and I completely forgot. Only 3 days later but I forgot... the headache. The sickness. I decided no.

I closed my eyes at some points and remained still to cope (of course I was accustomed to low doses by then, only 10-20mg a day).

Then I’d reopen them again.

The weed helped with the symptoms of course. It has helped with my physical health recently too. I fear the Lord a lot when I smoke it and become very aware of my need to repent. To follow the Lord and submit to His Will and Spirit.

That’s a whole thing. In a way, that fear of the Lord sometimes makes me hesitate to smoke the weed. Understandably. As important as fear of the Lord is, it’s important to act on it and work towards not actually fearing but being one with the Love of the Lord. It is a process.

On that day, reminded and aware of how I must consciously act in my life towards God, at every turn I could, where I could, I did not choose to pray, as if I am to pray then I should preferably do it with a clean mind. So I was able to enjoy the sensation of being stoned and listening to KPOP that day.

I didn’t plan to make such a long post here.

I just wanted to say. Even though I couldn’t sleep too well on that night

and, although, I have been sleeping very well in many respects, I’m grateful just to get sleep at all and with that I have even had enough sleep.

I feel the restlessness at night but it is not too much. Sometimes I’m even so tired in bed that I can’t hold back the sleep. Which, if you’re familiar, is a good sign as a common symptom of codeine or opiate withdrawal is insomnia.

Even though I was restless. well. that was it, I don’t feel any headache. I’m okay.

I haven’t taken any codeine since saturday and im doing good. I’m okay.

I don’t even want to take it. It’s a really good thing.

I remember talking to my girlfriend that night. Being sad about something and being able to talk to her about it.

yeah. hehe. ah. i need to talk to her BUT I do not want to talk about her here!!!! I have mentioned my exes in this blog and I want to keep her out of it!!!! This will not be the same as before!!!!! Anything involving her, will be discussed with her and that is that :)

what will she think when she sees all of these posts. theres many so she probably wont see them all. it’d take me weeks to even do that myself. takes me a whole night to read 5 pages of this blog. so, still. theres a lot of very deep, personal ... eye-opening(?) stuff here. idk. this is like that one corner of my life where i have concentrated my darkness. In many ways it is an extreme flagship and beaming light of hope, this blog, but ... yeah. I worry, I do, as to what she may think of this.

and that.

that right there marks the very very last time I will ever mention her anywhere near this blog again in my lifetime. Done.

with that, day 3. I feel fine. I feel good even. I am even okay.

The sun is shining. I am good. I am hopeful. I recognize limitless challenges ahead in my life but I see so much hope and brightness in the future. I know whatever happens God will reign victorious and we all may overcome this as One in the Love and Power of Christ.

and well. I say this now. As I listen to K-pop, I realize I am actually happy. I am doing really well. I am doing really well. 3 days after I just stopped taking it I am doing great and I am happy too. I am happy to say that too.

I am coming a really long way :) A really long way

and I am so happy to have made it out of the trenches of that Winter which pulled me down, as I let myself frown, from those months.

I hope forward this Summer and I know I will be okay.

and with my energy and my love, I will continue. Peace guys

P.S: The song was a part of the moment. Many things to come in this Spring and I am glad to know I feel the desire and energy within me to actively pursue them and flourish.

All the best.

#personal #codeine #textpost #dependency #clarity #health #eczema #love #hope #winter #summer #spring

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cyberstabbing · 7 years

Text

Non AUs/Somewhat Canon

Unequivocal - This is how it would have happened. 38k

Hear Me Out - It’s not so much the turning into a girl that’s a problem; that’s happened before. It’s the fact that Frank doesn’t turn back. 23k

Okay but this … was so much more than I could have hoped for. Definitely raised the bar for everything else.

Ice Cubes And Rubber Bands - “It’s hot.“

”Shut up.“

”It’s so fucking hot and I’m melting.“

“You’ve said that like fifty fucking times in a row now shut the fuck up and stop whining!” Frank grits through his teeth, wiping the sweat off his forehead.

“It’s not my fault that we are stranded here in the middle of fucking nowhere, Frank”, Gerard says, a bitchy undertone in his voice. It almost sounds like he’s trying to pick a fight. Frank takes a deep breath and closes his eyes; it’s too fucking hot to deal with Gerard’s allures right now. 7k (if you include part two)

Breakdown on the L.I.E. - Frank jerked awake when his dream was interrupted by a squealing banshee, which turned out to be the van grinding and squealing to a halt. 6k

every man - “I won't—we’re a band, Marc,” Gee says, “I’m not—shit. I’m not the girl who stays home.” 1k

with the lights on - Frank is weirdly chivalrous in some ways. He always opens doors for her, he lights her cigarettes like he’s in a forties movie or something, and he always offers her the last seat, even if it means that he has to sit on the floor. 10k

Sparkle Motion - For the next week, Gerard woke up every morning to a new list of Words that Describe how Gerard is In Bed pinned on the fridge. It disappeared after one of them wrote, ‘Sparkle Motion’ because, Bob explained to Gerard, they felt they’d nailed Gerard’s essence with that one. 6k

A Natural Reaction to Rough-housing - He made it to the bathroom and stood there leaning heavily on the sink, staring at himself in the mirror. He didn’t look like a creepy sadist. But neither did Christian Bale, and that hadn’t ended well for anybody. 27k

Sweet Caffeine (and Love of Liberace) - In which Brian tasered them into it, Gerard read too many comic books as a kid, Jamia isn’t worried about anything, and Bob doesn’t wear a codpiece. 4k

Now Honey, Don’t You Cry - Frank has always had an irrational fear of thunder, but when it causes a breakdown beyond that of ‘irrational,’ Gerard vows to find the truth. 6k

Pavlov’s Dog - It’s during one of their coveted hotel nights that Frank finally has enough. 1k

Reaching Through The Mirror - The one where Party Poison and Basement!Gerard have sex. 5k

(part one of Time Travel ‘verse)

James Cameron Got It Wrong - In which 2005!Frank and Fun Ghoul get it on. Then Frank accidentally winds up in 2019. 56k

(part two of Time Travel ‘verse)

Whatever I Want (Whatever That Is) - The first time Frank walked in on Gerard going down a girl in the dressing room, he was pissed. 9k

Distance in the Afterlife - Gerard comes out. 15k

The One Where Ray Can Hear Sex Dreams - I’m really sorry, Mr. Toro. But I didn’t make you have sex with anyone, as per your request. 2k

Heart On - From early days touring in vans to Projekt Revolution, the tour crew swears that they’re not homophobic, they just don’t want to see that shit. Frank takes it as a personal challenge. 13k

I died laughing like 17 times.

Just A Spoonful - It’s actually something of a relief when Frank walks onto the bus to find Gerard learning how to sabotage a car. It’s better than the last time, anyway, when he was trying to snort coke through a rolled-up condom wrapper. Or the time before, when he was passed out in a pile of glass shards. All things considered, wrecking random cars would be a step up for him. 1k

When I Think About You (I Touch Myself) - Van!era bodyswap. Gerard is a narcissist. 2k

You’re so cute when you’re slurring your speech - If this is what Frank wants, then fuck it. Just fucking fuck it. Frank can have it.(Or, Frank wants to bone Gerard. So he does. A lot.) 8k

Ride - This is the coolest place the band has ever stayed at. 15k

jerseymisery wrote this description: okay this is an ULTRA FAVE!! the whole fic has such a dreamlike sort of quality to it? it gives me such great vibes of like summer and transience and SHIT LIKE THAT.. it’s set during bullets i’m pretty sure which is. COOL. it just feels like a snapshot, a moment in time.. i really like it. go read it! it’s frank x gerard and mikey x an oc.

ierohero's write-up: https://ierohero.tumblr.com/post/188897569757/im-reading-ride-again-theres-literally-no

Link to author (they also wrote some fics below)

Sick - It was sort of sick, since Frank was, like, younger than his little brother, but Gerard had wanted to kiss him from the very first second he saw him standing up on stage and smirking into the microphone.

“Who’s that?” he asked Mikey.“That’s Frank,” Mikey whispered back, like it was some big secret or something, hissing the words into Gerard’s ear. “That’s the guy I want you to meet.”

“Figures,” Gerard muttered. It just fuckin’ figured that the first guy he’d wanted to fuck in, like, a semester would be the one Mikey wanted for the band. 5k

Broke - Frank is sick. A companion piece to Sick. 5k

Fucked Up - It’s hard to describe the multitude of ways in which Frankie is fucked up, although Gerard keeps trying. He lies in his bunk at night listening to the other members of the band breathing, soft radiator hisses, the occasional snore, and tries to enumerate to himself what’s wrong with Frankie. He thinks that maybe if he can figure out what the problem is, he can fix it. He’s always been sort of an optimist. 1k

Reasons We Don’t - “Why don’t we fuck?” Frank asks, tipping his head back to blow smoke at the sky. 7k

subterfuge of tiny proportions - It usually takes Gerard hours to wind down from a show. He has this crazy wired look in his eyes when they come offstage, all sweaty and flushed and jittery. He touches people more, talks a little louder, a little faster. Even now, even after all this time, it still gets to him. The nervous energy, the screams of the crowd, the music. Frank watches him every night, because when he is like that, he’s beautiful. And because when the stage buzz wears off, he crashes, hard and fast. 1k

He Told Me I Could Never Go Back - Everything was fine until Frank disappeared. 2k

this broke my heart.

Up Against Your Will (HERE is the chapter index) - Stepping into a world so different from their own, Frank and Gerard struggle to survive. 18 chapters

this was amazing, but also hard to read in some parts, bc of the non con and gore :/ not my cup of tea, but I did love the word building and the fic overall.

When I Was a Little Girl - Frank is a dyke. Period. She doesn't like boys. At all. But if you squint (or you're drunk enough) sometimes Gerard totally looks like a girl. 26k

Silken - Gerard can't help but notice the way Frank bites his lip and shifts in his seat when an interviewer brings up his day in drag. Frank's almost normal when he nudges Gerard with his shoulder, raising his hands in the air and laughing, "Oh, yeah. Man, you should have seen him - like Christina Ricci, you know?" but Gerard can still see the imprint of his teeth on his lower lip and files that away while he relates the story about how the conductor was really nice to him and how he'd managed figure out how to sit without crushing anything vital by the end of the day. <1k

Pushy Little Fuck - "Anyone ever tell you, Iero, that you're a pushy little fuck?" Gerard says, rearranging Frank against his side.

Frank just grins at him and says, "S'my middle name." Frank Pushy Little Fuck Iero. There's a song in there somewhere. 1k

The Kind They'd Like to Flaunt - When Frank first meets Gee, officially, it's because Ray saw Frank from across the room and put him into a headlock to get him over to his booth. 1k

How Dirty Boys Get Clean - Gerard stinks. Frank convinces him that bath time can be such fun. 1k i think?? maybe 2k

Under My Skin - "Maybe," Gerard had said one night, scratching idly at Frank's scalp, "it was something you ate?" "Maybe," Ray said, "it was some kind of sex pollen." Frank growled and said, "maybe if you don't shut up right now I'm going to kick your ass." 1k

Body of a Venus (lord, imagine my surprise) - Gerard is dressed like a girl and decides to pay Frank a visit. 1k

Never Looked Better And You Can’t Stand It - For once, Frank is the self-conscious one. 1k

In the Dark - The problem wasn’t that Gerard was stupid; the problem was that he wasn’t always the most observant guy around. Sometimes he just misses things that maybe he should have noticed. He hadn’t thought anything of it the first time Frank had pushed his hands out from under his shirt and said, “I’d rather touch you.”

(Or the one where chubby!Frank is really self-conscious and avoids having sex with Gerard with the lights on.) 2k

Jane Doe - Frank meets a mystery girl at a party. When she turns out to be not such a mystery (and not such a girl), he’s forced to make some hard choices. Set in fall 2000. This isn’t an AU, but some details have been changed. 9 chapters

This fic, man… this fic… An amazing read (though unfinished). Really shows how unbalanced affection and care can be, and leaves you uncertain yet hopeful for their relationship. Here’s an excerpt:

”The heat’s on as high as it goes,“ Gerard said, glancing over with concern. Frank wondered if Gerard would have noticed his trembling if they hadn’t been making out feverishly just a few hours beforehand.

Edit 22/10/2019: I just found out there was a ninth chapter?? Holy shit okay lets go.

Moonlight Model - Frank's a photographer. Gerard's a model. Only not really. 1k

Pack - Frank's a very playful werewolf. 1k

I Wish I Were A Ghost - Halloween is Frank Iero's birthday. It's also the day when the veil between the world of the living and the dead is at it's thinnest.

A ghost-story. Short and sweet. 1k

Immutable - Frank and Gerard are sitting in bed, talking about frank's tattoos, and it's beautiful. 1k

Curl - Gerard finds Frank tied to the seatbelt in the back of their tour van. Sexytimes ensue. 2k

no sleep - Gerard looked terrible, hollow-eyed and sweaty, and it was still only just after midnight. <1k

the second time the band saves gerard's life - soberty fic. 1k

Half the Battle - People tend to assume Gerard is an alpha. Frank knows better. 1k

Afresh - As much as Frank tells him there's never been a time he didn't love Gerard, Gerard knows Frank definitely doesn't miss the days when he could sometimes smell him from the other room. 1k

Just Because - By the time Gerard asked Frank to join the band, the only answer Frank had left for him was yes. 4k

Holding Out For An Iero - When Frank gets his chestpiece, he doesn't have sex for a week. 5k

An Inexplicable Occurrence of Angels - 35k

This was on my Fics-I-Can’t-Find-list, and since this one doesn’t have a description, I’ll just paste in what I could remember from reading it last year:

My Chem (minus Frank) broke up after Revenge. One day Frank kinda shows up (can't remember how). Frank's an angel with big wings and is hopelessly clueless about the world, so the rest or My Chem have to help him. They take him on walks and it looks like he has a hunchback bc of his wings. I think Frank doesn't even know any words in the beginning, but he learns english quickly. Loves watching movies. Everyone in My Chem basically crash at ray's place bc of Frank. And they're all Hey... maybe we should pick up the band again...?

UPDATE: okay i just reread it and it’s sooooo good holy shit. especially the last chapter. there was a comment on AO3 about how they would come back and reread the last chapter over and over again because it made them so happy. that’s probably what i’m gonna do from now on.

A Necessary Requirement - description by jerseymisery ... i think: it’s like a warped tour fic i believe, god it’s so fucking funny, the dialogue is gr8.. basically the whole fic is frank wanting to know what gerard’s dick looks like okay dhgvjsdghg. 3k

Twenty Percent Down - We're rock stars," Frank says firmly. "We're not moving back to live in our parents' basements." 7k

House hunting!

"What's your credit rating like?" he pants out. "I - what?" Gerard stops mouthing Frank's skin and lifts his head up. ^ Never fails to crack me up.

One Hundred Percent - (Almost. Maybe.) - Frank sighed. "I'm playing tonight," he said, firmly. "It is a fucking sore throat. Luckily, I am not the lead singer. I can play my fucking guitar with a sore throat. I can play it with my eyes closed. I am fine." (11,400 words of, you know, Frank being sick. A LOT.) 11k

Raspberry Swirl - The time that the whole band woke up as girls was maybe the weirdest. 16k

Away With The Boys In The Band - Behind the Music: My Chemical Romance, in the world where Mikey has always been a girl. 69k

Ship(s): Mikey Way/Otter, Mikey Way/Gabe Saporta, Mikey Way/Pete Wentz, Mikey Way/Alicia Simmons

^ I could not put this down. The writing is so so so spectacular, and the dialog is both interesting and realistic. A lot of angst, but still hilarious at parts. Please read.

Update because I need to add some things: Listen! Words can not express how obsessed with this fic I am. I made a mixtape for it. Fanart. Currently working on a ebook version of it so I can print it out. Guys. You do not understand how fucking fantastic this fic is. Don’t scroll away from me, I’m serious! Fucking click the link dammit. Click it. C’mon. I’m waiting–click iiiiit. You back yet? Yeah? What did I tell you! I know, it is amazing! You okay? Got tissues? Good. Okay now go wash your face and eat a snack. No, no, no need to thank me, the pleasure was all mine.

Any Way You Want - Gee Way is fronting early MCR when Frank spots them in a shitty bar and immediately finds himself immersed in the energy of the music; not to mention the addictive personality of the lead singer. 18k

Sucker Bet - Since Frank's currently got a sloppy handful of Gerard's hard-and-getting-harder cock, oops kinda seems like an understatement. But Frank's a practical kinda guy. 2k

A Helping Hand - Frank just wants to be able to jerk off. He doesn't think that's too much to ask. 6k

Frank the Failiest Vampire - Frank's a vampire, and he's finally ready to let the world know. 0.9

a not!fic

Three Sharp Bites - When Frank had imagined the joy of finally finding a helpless thrall who would tilt back his neck for him, displaying the jugular with a undertone of love and utter submission, he didn't really expect it to include the joy of being bent almost in two while his mate fucked the living shit out of him. 0.7k

part two of Frank the Failiest Vampire. This isn’t a not!fic though.

Fantasy Book - This was really, really not normal behavior for Gerard - not for real, normal Gerard, and it was even a little abrupt for the imaginary Gerard who lived in Frank's head and came out during his Special Alone Times with his dick. 16k

The Year of Living Safely - Post-sobriety MCR. This is as much about me and my own brother as it is about the Way boys, and Christ was it hard to write; it brought a lot of painful things to the surface. 12k

Incredibly painful but worth a read. Or ten. One-sided Frank/Gerard.

second word, one syllable - Prompt #60. Frank loses his voice and has to use notes, texts, charades, etc. to communicate. 4k

More Than He Can Say - Frank doesn't know what it is about tonight. 2k

I've Got Friends in Closed Spaces - Written for the no_tags challenge for the prompt of 'accidental frottage.' Set in the middle of a tour, vaguely 2004. 4k

it’s the hide-and-seek fic! i’ve been looking for this for an eternity.

First Class - Gerard is totally disturbed, because he's sort of obsessed with making Frank drool. 1.6k

Party Games (Eureka!) - Gerard has awesome ideas. 2k

MCR: untitled no.1 - Gerard plays piano in the loosest sense of the word - plays, with fingers stuttering a little in the air above the white keys and even more over the black ones; body hunched over and shoulders tucked in as soft lines form between his eyebrows. Zero-point-something k.

and here’s another piano drabble by the same author!

just like it was - Basically, I had this really urgent desire to write about Gerard's high school reunion. <1k

love on the webways - As a writer, Grant supposes he could have considerably worse habits than trolling his own message boards.

A totally ridiculous AU vaguely inspired by You've Got Mail. 32k Grant/Gerard

This was so fun to read! It’s a what-if-they-broke-up-after-tbp fic btw.

you weaseled your way into my heart (and ferreted out my feelings) - You gotta watch out for those bands with umlauts. 5k

Reverberation - Frank feels like he just fell off the stage, staggered directly from the lights and out into the long hallway backstage, tipping over into the momentary quiet. 1.5k

Not a Pretty Girl - 28k

Gen. Always-been-a-girl fic featuring kick ass female drummer, Bob Bryar. The story is a series of shorter fics all about her life before MCR, growing up as a woman in the Chicago scene, touring with The Used, joining MCR and everything that comes with that. It's awesome. + art!

I Am a Patient Boy - So this is an AU about Gerard being a girl named Helen (after her...grandmother?) and Frank being sort of, head over heels. 5k

“He goes to the next show alone. It’s in this basement club, red-lit and smoky. Frank stands on a chair at the back of the room. Over everyone’s head so he can get a good look.”

This fic follows Frank as he leaves Pencey Prep and joins My Chem in 2001. The author changed a lot of details though, so I recommend thinking of it as an AU in how the band formed. Unless you want to yell at your screen at 1am for it getting the timeline wrong (like I did).

Not Smashing Windows - In the beginning, they were the scene. An origin story. 32k

From Gabe’s POV, and it’s done flawlessly. It somehow emulates the same feeling one gets from stumbling across an overlooked short film at three a.m. on youtube. The one you can’t help but wonder about, how it is that you’ve never heard about it before. Like it is in its own bubble of existence. Feeling afraid to even breathe or look away, afraid that it’ll disappear at any time, that it was too good to be true. Something you shouldn’t be able to hold in your hands. This fic feels incredibly personal to read. Gabe’s longings of intimacy, the hopelessness at parts. I could feel my fondness for the characters grow enormously in this fic. The wording and conversations and scenes paint a brilliant picture that will stay with you for a long time. I know it will for me at least. Ship: Gabe Saporta/Mikey Way

For a Different View - AU. Ray Toro is a girl, Rae, but MCR is still just MCR. 49k

The first time they went over to Mikey's house, Mikey tossed her a beer and said, "My brother might come up. Maybe not, though. He gets weird in the middle of projects." She found out what he meant halfway through Dawn of the Dead, when a bundle of black fabric barreled from the basement door to the refrigerator and back down to the basement without saying a word to either of them.

I need to finish this!!! But –gah. Such awesome awesomeness. Ship: Ray/Mikey

Double Exposure - “The worst part was the confession. Well, the explanation sucked too.” Written for prompt 38. Frank/Mikey - Frank and Mikey bodyswap during tour and have to play shows as each other. 2.5k

Frank isn’t part italian in this fic. He’s part alien! :D Ship: Frank/Mikey

Anti-Sex (It Comes Around remix) - The first time Frank ever really talked to Mikey's brother it was at a house party somewhere in the shitty part of the Oranges. Before that, Gerard was just Mikey's weird older brother. In Frank's mind, their interactions were always relative to Mikey, spinning out from him, Mikey first, Gerard a trailing but connected afterthought. At that party, though, Mikey's brother was a little buzzed and cheerful with it, talking with a charisma and charm Frank hadn't seen before.

Here’s a v 2018 relevant part: “Hey, you bring me my voter's registration, I swear I'll turn it in." "You're not even registered to vote?" Gerard said, and brought a hand up to run his pinky across his eyebrow like it was all just too much, and Frank laughed.

Crooked Crown - There's always a voice in the back of Frank's head, tiny and barely registering after years of shrugging it off, but still present nonetheless. It says things like, this is a bad idea, and it's satisfying now, but there'll be consequences later. Or, this is the line and you're about to cross it. Someone had once said that Frank had no conscience, which wasn't true because hi, voice in his head. He totally did have a conscience - it was just that he wasn't much of a slave to it.

In any case, the voice dampens out even quicker than usual this time and he's then free to scribble 'BALLS' in Sharpie over each page of Gerard's brand new issue of Hellboy before stuffing it back underneath the seat to be discovered later on. 4k

“The next day they're in Austin, and it feels like an armpit. Mikey walks around with his fingers splayed out, trying to prevent any part of his body from touching another”

^ Ah Mikey, never stop being so relatable. Anyway, this was hilarious. I love how petty both of them were. Poor Ray with his head in his hands!

Rappelling Down Mount Vesuvius - 1k | Gen

I love reading little snippets of their lives like this. Just the right amount of fluff and backstory for something bittersweet and hopeful.

down to the water - Things were better than they were a month ago, hell, a week ago, but that wasn't saying much. A week ago, Gee was stumbling drunk on a stage in Japan and puking so much Frank had honestly been afraid she was going to die. So, while her over-caffeinated, white-faced sobriety of today was a welcome change, Frank still felt like they were all on the edge of disaster, that everything they'd worked so hard for could still collapse around them. 10k

New Rule - Pitch-black basement sex. 2k

Frank is jammed in between Gerard and the wall. He made Gerard check the entire basement for spiders before they turned off the crazy-bright fluorescent strip light, but he’s still wrapped himself up in the blankets like a burrito, jamming the edges under his body until he’s fucking airtight. “If you stretch you’ll pull the blankets out,” he says, muffled because his face is pressed under Gerard’s chin. “And then the spiders will get in, and then I’ll have to kill you.”

Oooh nooo, they have to share the bed. [cackles loudly]

Kiss The Bottle - A drunk wizard slips Frank a love potion while the band is in between tour dates. Chaos and mischief ensues. 35k

An impeccable casting of the wizard, I must say. lol

Don't Fear the Reaper - Gerard's not the greatest with faces but there's one that keeps crossing his path that he can't ignore. 4k

THE SCENE IS DEAD - 20k

Can’t remember who wrote this description (it’s on my to-do list) (was it disenchanted?) but THEY PUT IT INTO WORDS: “I don't know how to begin to describe this one... It's written in an unusual format - ie. a lot of it is told through newspaper articles and webpages but it's one of those super haunting fics that stays with you for days. I don't think there are any triggers listed so be warned there are character deaths and supernatural stuff.”

And I really don’t have more to add. I don’t even want to say anything more because honestly for this fic, the less you know the better. For me the experience of reading it was made a hundred times better just by the emotional rollercoasters I was put through. Lol. Trying to figure out what was going on/going to happen next was really fun.

Candy Cane Vodka - "Yeah, Mikey, you accidentally made fucking peppermint Everclear. Congratulations and all, but Jesus Christ."

Mikey gets an idea on the road after finding a bargain bin book on homemade infusions. Experimentation follows, and Yuletide chaos ensues.

ngl... i’m tempted to make that vodka mixture

Ships: Mikey/Ray, Frank/Gerard

#frerard #frerard fic #frank/gerard #rec list

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resilientreader · 5 years

Note

1-98 for asks like we did a million years ago, I dare you

i knew the MOMENT i saw the notif in my inbox that it was gonna be YOU pulling this shit and i crossed my fingers when actually clicking, HOPING i wouldnt have to answer all 98, maybe you’ll be tame this time, but no! this is what you’re doing to me. and ykno what, Fine. u dare me and i Will do it. i hope u rb the asks post so i can do it to u too, tho

1. coffee mugs

2. chocolate bars

3. bubblegum

4. that smart student who always read instead of actually paying attention

5. soda from glass cups is the best

6. its hard to just Decide between all these styles so ill say which one applies to mine most, which i Gotta say has to b preppy even if i want like goth or grunge to b mixed in

7. headphones

8. good omens, fmab, castlevania, uhhhh. those are just the ones ive watched so far this summer

9. my grandparents’ home. which is kinda weird but i have a lot of summer memories there

10. i sucked at like Everything in p.e., there Was no best

11. leftovers

12. i cant choose a favorite playlist?? /some/ of them, tho, are soar my ethereal heart, neither here nor there, mountainside storms, and sync of my heartbeat. so like any of my more recent ones

13. lanyard

14. i had to google a list for this bc honestly i always eat just chocolates but i like starburst

15. fahrenheit 451 was a rly fun read. ray bradbury’s writing gave me inspo for metaphors and writing and such and it was rly nice

16. sprawled across one of those comfy armchairs where i can swing my legs over one arm n lay my head on the other one

17. my black converse

18. cool temperature and rain without storms, or a cloudy day that lets me take a nice walk

19. on my side if i can but on my back otherwise

20. on my laptop, in google docs, to be more specific

21. winnie the pooh

22. idk?? i try not to look to just one person for a source of “this is how i should be”, so i guess,,,, a mix of family members and then a couple like more famous ppl??? which would basically consist of one of my aunts, my dad, and jenna marbles, to keep my Brain Process for role model stuff simplified

23. i dunno if any of the habits i have are strange?? i bounce my right leg and my right hand kinda. like. shakes when im nervous. i cant rly think of anything else i do tho i Know i probably have other habits

24. amethyst or pyrite

25. ur really just assuming my memory is good enough for this but if i had to say, it’d be any popular song from 2009 specifically

26. hide in my room with a fan and ac

27. read with a blanket wrapped around me or smth

28. atlas: six by sleeping at last, flaws by bastille, atlas: five by sleeping at last, she by dodie, and neptune by sleeping at last. there are probably more/better ones but those are the first ones i found

29. listen. be open with me. talk with me. not to sound like that person, but sharing ur life secrets is a rly big ice breaker for me because it helps let me know i can trust u. but also idk im a really awkward person and can accidentally distance myself from ppl so when ppl notice theres smth up w me or even do the bare minimum of doing Their part to maintain a friendship, that’s always rad as shit when idk how to communicate what i need

30. my room, my high school’s auditorium, the local barnes and noble

31. black boots, black jeans, any button-up shirt that’ll match that combination OR a really cool sweatshirt

32. im a bad bitch, you cant kill me. road work ahead? uh, i sure hope it does. it is wednesday, my dudes! welcome to chili’s. i love you, bitch, and i ain’t ever gonna stop loving you, bitch.

33. probably “omg” or “oh my god”

34. sc johnson. a family company.

35. i dont even have one but on a good night like 10-11

36. the troll face memes

37. suitcases feel much more organized

38. lemonade

39. lemon cake

40. ummmmm....one time a tech/theatre kid left a paint can sitting out in the open accidentally and a person took a shit in it or smth then knocked over the can, spilled a bunch of paint, and tried to clean it up w a broom and proceeded to like snap the broom in half. then they ran away to leave the kids to clean it up the next day. i wasnt actually there for that but ive heard the story firsthand enough times to Know

41. my dad

42. jacket pockets

43. hoodie is what i wear, tho everything else is Very Good

44. lavender

45. fantasy, my dudes

46. this set of pjs i got for xmas w a soft tshirt and matching baggy flannel pants

47. colby jack

48. uhhh a banana?? i could probably give a better answer if i was more

49. i dont rly live by a quote or saying, i just Go for it

50. my sister has probably done smth before to like Break me

51. everything ever but mostly myself

52. arial

53. uhhh...kinda worn? my nails aren’t doin so good and i have a couple scratches and stuff that Still havent healed after a few weeks

54. get a move on

55. the ugly duckling

56. tradition is kinda vague but i like that it became tradition for me and my siblings to go to my grandparents’ home every summer

57. i think im still overcoming like everything ive been faced with ever

58. writing? listening, helping, giving advice. idk tbh like talents who?

59. "jesus christ, my dude”

60. a fantasy/comedy, or at least if its gonna be fantasy with death and stuff, it should be dope as fuck

61. "isn’t vulnerability the opposite of being in control?” from a webcomic called aerial magic. super simple but the entire scene leading up to it,,,,,so good

62. umm fuck! i dont kno whether favs r usually ones that i relate to or ones that i wanna b like but??? keith from voltron, jirou from bnha, chromedome and/or rewind from transformers/mtmte, sypha from castlevania, and jayfeather from warriors

63. planetary (go!) by mcr, the seed by aurora, hayloft by mother mother, the cup/halloween blues from relient k, choke by i dont know how but they found me

64. coolmath was THE shit

65. yes! two on my leg from a surgery i had to get to realign my femur, bc i snapped the bone in half

66. lavender, snowdrops, hibiscus

67. i dont really have any, mostly bc i have a hard time attaching like. That sorta meaning to just random objects, but i do still have a small teddy bear stashed safely away in my room from when i was a little babee

68. pickle-flavored pringles. disgusting. would not recommend

69. lions’ roars can be heard up to 5 miles away from the original source

70. right handed

71. horizontal stripes, i guess? there’s not much wrong with them but i just Never wear them

72. math

73. i dont usually eat /weird/ flavor combos, even tho ill eat basically anything, but i like ketchup in mac and cheese sometimes. or fries in shakes. chicken and waffles. stuff like that

74. 11

75. idek honestly, my memory is too bad

76. hashbrowns

77. i dont kno a Lot of plants off the top of my head other than the Basic ones but literally any flower in a windowsill is like bone apple teeth in my mind

78. sushi from a grocery store. publix taught me that grocery stores can, in fact, be trusted when needed

79. my school id photo

80. earth tones

81. fireflies

82. pc

83. writing

84. talk radio is nostalgic but podcasts are always more entertaining to actually listen to

84. polly pocket

85. mythology with a dash of fairytales

86. cupcakes, because of my dog’s name

87. abandonment

88. to grow unbreakable attachments with everyone i care very deeply about and grow into an old age with them, or something

89. i feel like answering this question totally honestly would hurt ppl’s feelings, but also i literally could think of like 4 people to put down for this and i’m bad at deciding, esp w smth like this, so. not to b vague but These People kno who they are

90. becoming a part of a certain website with a bad crowd and managing to pick out the good apples in such a rotten batch

91. boxes

92. lamps /and/ fairy lights

93. i dont rly have any but my parents call me hannah banana. that’s ab it, tho

94. fall/winter? it kinda is inconsistent because fall has bad weather in florida but winter is when like everything has Gone Wrong in life these past few years, but then fall has such a GOOD aesthetic and my birthday is in winter, so they’re pretty even rn

95. uhhh??? thats such a weird thing, to try and assign a “favorite” app, but the only thing i could think to say would be spotify just bc i use it so much on my phone, even if the app itself isnt the greatest

96. i havent set one, actually, bc im lazy and havent found anything that’d fit

97. 2 and a half

98. the part where fish were learning that they could walk on land

#asks #resilientspeaker #trying to put this under read more #but either tumblr doesnt let asks to do that or its not showing me anything #either way if this Does show to b a long post sorry ab that

0 notes

shrimpcache · 3 years

Text

Journal entry 6/6/21

Feeling lots of things, thinking lots of thoughts, remembered my idea to do journals here. id rather you didnt reblog but i cant exactly stop you either, and its not like anyone important to not see this is really on tumblr. anyways.

I hate this stupid situation with this passport- i want to go to italy, id love to be anywhere that isnt the piedmont anymore. at least anywhere that isnt the same suburb with the same roads and street signs and city design and construction where i used to see forests and fields. I want to see where my best friend grew up, im excited to see this new side and learn something new about someone so familiar to me. im excited to meet people whos language i dont speak, to just look at store signs and roads and cars that are unfamiliar without being frightening because theres someone next to me who knows what to do already. imagine me traveling and not stressing about how i need to know where i am at all times lest i get lost, or keeping track for my group of friends who is equally unfamiliar with somewhere that looks just like every north carolina town. new mountains, new people, new norms, new sounds in the morning, new sounds at night. will i miss the cicadas this summer? will it even matter?

the sad part is i dont know if my passport will get to me in time. I might have to take a day trip to vermont where i cant even explore national forests or non-chain restaurants. Ill have to walk into a passport facility without all my necessary documents and hope theyll see in the system that the fucking government still has my birth certificate. I want to go to europe. I want to get out of here so bad, but i never got my passport because things like that didn;t just happen to me.

Im not the one who gets the interesting summer trips. Always too broke, working, or i just cant justify to myself why i would just drop everything to go somewhere where i know nothing and know no one. Why that thought is so sad to me, “things that fun and cool just aren’t meant for me”

Maybe its the insinuation that it is for other people. Does it just tie into this image i have of myself? this barely human person who just copies and mimics until people read me as one of them too? I think i really understand that artist now who makes adhd comics and draws herself with little alien antennae- i really do feel like an alien. even when I take adderol, it only really helps with the energy and executive dysfunction. Which is great!!! i love my adderoll and im so glad that i can feel a little bit more like a normal person, and im proud of myself pursuing it until i got it. But it doesn’t change that i wont ever be able to just relate to most people. Its like growing up with undiagnosed adhd created a Me and Them venn diagram, where everything that makes me who i am can never be in the center of the interlocking circles. The way i speak, how fast, how slow, how hesitant, how exuberant- i never realized how much i masked until i started talking with people whos brains worked at the same pace as mine. people who thought the strangest, unhelpful thoughts too. Im not trying to make myself special or some sort of ‘other’ in society -im a little white girl who grew up in a house with two floors and my own room, nothing was really working against me outside of myself. But having something inside of you that is unquestionably you and it just seems like youre the only one whos like this for no reason was just so hard. its kinda...harder now that i know none of it was because there was something inherently wrong with me.

sigh. this is all over the place. anyone who cares to read congrats on seeings how my brain connects thoughts in real time. i dont have aphantasia or anything but my imagination and thoughts have always been more word and language based than visual, so rather than having racing thoughts of intense images of memories my brain just produces sentences ed nauseum or whatever. Thoughts that i might not even agree with but they rile me up and pull me under anyway- if im stressed the stress just manifests as a tornado of sentences and phrases happening concurrently, like theres some sort of crowd in my head saying vaguely similar things out of time. or harsh things. or mean things. but i think thats kai’s fault. like when i was spiraling over a failing grade in chemistry in my dorm at 2am where i couldnt stop thinking that the only reason i hadnt killed myself already was because i was such a financial drain on everyone around me and i couldnt waste their money by dying. maybe theres a hint of truth in there but its so exaggerated. i havent killed myself because i want to live and experience my life as much as i experience the lives of others, but i also always feel this heavy burden of wasted money, wasted time, wasted potential, constantly stirring up my brain.

this started with my passport, right? thats my stressor right now, and its pretty big so it bleeds into other parts of my life so easily. my therapist says i have this habit of replacing one stressor with another, and sometimes i can recognize it, but i dont think its getting replaced as much as its being amplified. Im waiting on my passport, which probably wont get here before my travel date, so ill have to fly to vermont and get one the day before i travel even though i already have one in processing. I spent $1400 on my ticket and i cant even transfer it to anyone without getting a refund or something, and i spent that much money without even knowing if i could travel. can i even get a refund? i worry about it as soon as i wake up, whenever i have a free moment to think, when im going to bed, when im playing games. when im doing anything that isnt working on getting my passport, even though i cant really do anything but call the same phone number and wait on hold for hours. but because im ‘not trying hard enough’ to get my passport, im too overwhlmed to do my laundry. to clean my room. to exercise my dog properly. im irritable. i just want to see my friends but i dont even talk about whats bothering me because im afraid to cry in front of them. im crying right now because this is the only outlet ive given myself to feel in literal months. writing always does this to me, drags me into emotions i dont realize im pushing down until the words just come out against my own will. i missed typing on my keyboard though. i missed thinking and seeing it in front of me, so i guess this is a sort of catharsis. i put some clothes in the laundry, at least. good job me.

maybe this will all work out in the end and itll feel great. maybe ill get on a plane with my original ticket and have a fun few weeks away from everything ive always known. maybe ill set foot on a sidewalk ive never touched before! maybe ill get that tattoo. maybe things will be okay. i can focus on stuff working out too, if i try hard enough. i think im done writing now. half way through this i worked some stuff out with my friends and there are a few things that are less scary now than when i first started writing. see you next time

#journal #6/6/21 #personal #suicide ment #prefer it if you dont reblog

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