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a-small-batch-of-dragons · 3 years

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Tell the Truth

Prompts: aaaa the way you write angst is just *chefs kiss* wonderful. I’ve been really enjoying the butterfly project series, it has made me cry multiple times. May I request some fluff to balance the angst? - anon

Excuse me while I sob over Redemption Never Came and politely grabby hand for more angst with a happy ending (Roman angst my beloved) (Also you are an amazing fanfic artist :D) - anon

This is so heartbreaking and whumpy but so soft in the end and I would devour a second part about everyone trying to help undo all the negative patterns they've all instilled in Roman and just showing him affection and everyone's hearts breaking a little more each time he's surprised they actually want to be around him. - LadyofhteWoods

And now a part of me wants to see all those scenarios again, only this time Roman gets loved- walk in the kitchen, get a hug. Sit on the couch? Cuddle pile. Go on a quest? Bring friends, if hurt, patch up and movies. Crying in bed because you had a bad time and your brain is screaming that you suck and a wave of depression has rippled through you and you feel horrible? Have some tea… cry it out…. We’re here. - A_tiny_star_prince

Read on Ao3 Part 1

Warnings: self-doubt, self-deprecating thoughts

Pairings: dlampr

Word Count: 7688

Roman lies. A lot. Maybe it's time they did something about it.

Roman’s lies don’t vanish overnight. How could they? When he’s so used to repeating them, over and over, in a horrific little mantra before he goes to sleep, how can he be expected to get rid of them in only one night?

That doesn’t make them less difficult to hear.

Janus is downstairs, helping Virgil fold up one of the blankets strewn about the living room, when he winces and hisses.

“J? You okay?”

Janus nods, jerking his head upward. Virgil follows his gaze and winces too.

“…Princey?”

“I think so.” That’s a lie. He knows it’s Roman.

“I got this,” Virgil says quietly, taking the blanket from Janus, “you go. He seems to let you help more than he lets us.”

He never really had the choice to let me.

Janus swallows heavily as he appears outside Roman’s door. The lies aren’t nearly as poisonous as they were a few days ago, but they’re strong enough to curl his tongue at the bitterness in his throat. He raises a hand to knock on the door.

The lies falter for a moment before another one floats through.

Don’t come in.

He smirks, gently pushing the door open to meet a darkened room.

“Impressive,” he says softly, making his way over to the figure in the bed and perching on the end, “that could’ve been one of mine.”

He’s rewarded with the quietest of huffs before a head shyly peeks out at him from the covers. Janus smiles and tilts his head.

“Hello, sweetie.”

“Hi.” Roman shuffles a little. “Sorry. Didn’t realize I was summoning you.”

“There’s no need to apologize.” Janus glances around the room. His computer is off and shut. The bathroom light and fan are off. He looks back. “Can I help, sweetie?”

A shuffling of the blankets that’s probably supposed to be a shrug.

“Let me come find you, then,” he murmurs, standing and moving to where the head was a moment ago, “how did you get this many blankets on top of you?”

He slowly starts to move them out of the way, peeling back layer after layer, only briefly wondering whether or not Roman can breathe properly under these. It’s a careful act, one he treats with the same reverence as cleaning his gloves or his scales, creating a little cocoon of blankets as he gets further and further into the covers.

The last one puffs just the slightest amount, up and down.

So you can breathe, good.

Janus doesn’t move this one all the way out of the way, just lifts it up enough to peer inside. Roman’s little face peers back at him, partially covered by another blanket clutched tight to his chest. He looks so…child-like.

The realization makes something warm turn in Janus’s chest.

“Knock knock,” he says softly, “anyone home?”

Roman blinks. “Mm.”

“May I come in, sweetie?”

“Mm.” Roman jerks his chin toward Janus’s clothes. “Lose the sharp bits.”

Janus snaps his fingers, transforming his usual clothes into a soft yellow shirt and sleep pants. “Better?”

“Mm.”

“How did you manage to get so many blankets balanced on your bed,” Janus asks as he slips beside Roman, “mine always fall off after three.”

“Practice.” Roman shifts to make room.

Janus frowns. “Come here, sweetie, let me cuddle you.”

“You don’t have to.”

The frown deepens. “Sweetie?”

Roman buries his face a little deeper into the blanket. “You don’t like cuddling. Virgil an’ Remus said so.”

Oh, Roman…

“Come, sweetie,” he insists, tugging Roman gently into a proper hug, “there.”

“But—but—“

“I may not be as big a fan of cuddling as you and Patton,” Janus says firmly, cupping Roman’s face, “and I’m certainly the type that enjoys being tackled by Remus—“

Roman snorts.

“—but you’re upset,” he finishes gently, “and I want to help.”

Burden.

Needy.

Don’t understand boundaries.

Don’t deserve help.

Janus hisses. Roman sighs.

“Sorry.”

“No need for that,” he assures, still cradling Roman’s face as he pulls him close, “I understand. It’s alright.”

“I know, and I—I don’t want you to leave, but—“ Roman swallows— “I just—I still don’t believe you’re here.”

Janus wraps a pair of arms around Roman’s waist and squeezes. “I’m real, I’m here.”

“I just—“

There’s another lie swirling in Roman’s brain, too nebulous to make it all the way to Janus, but present enough that it makes his mouth tingle. He leans down to kiss Roman’s forehead.

“…you said it was your job to protect the Ego.”

“That’s right, sweetie, it is.”

“I guess I…I just…”

Janus gives Roman another encouraging squeeze. Roman brings the blanket further up his face.

“…I guess I figured that if you—if you could h-hate me that much or h-hurt me that badly and not—not care, then you…maybe you…”

Janus’s heart clenches as the lie finally makes itself known.

Not worth protecting.

He pulls away, shushing the heartbroken whine that Roman makes, taking off his gloves and wrapping every arm around the poor thing. He presses another kiss to his forehead, letting the hiss out into his hair.

“That’s not true, sweetie,” he promises, “and you’ll never know how sorry I am for hurting you and letting it get this far.”

And the poor thing is so tired, so weary that he goes limp in Janus’s arms, save for the blanket clutched tightly to his face. Janus frowns, opening his mouth to say that might be a little uncomfortable, what with Roman’s arms tucked between them, when he starts putting the pieces together.

Roman is still wearing a fair amount of clothing, he’s got something pressed up against his face, under his chin, and he’s got so many blankets piled on top of him that even Janus feels warm.

“And here I thought I couldn’t feel more rotten,” he whispers, carding one hand through Roman’s hair, another scratching gently between his shoulder blades, “but you must be in agony.”

A questioning hum is let out against his throat.

“You’re still touch starved, sweetie,” he says in way of answering, squeezing a little tighter, “are you still cold?”

There’s a soft rush of breath as Janus cups the back of his neck and then a noise is just about torn from his throat as he uses it to pull Roman close.

“Oh, shh, shh, you poor thing,” he murmurs, pressing another kiss to his cheek, “I’m right here, sweetie, I won’t leave you.”

They lie there for a while longer, Roman’s arms slowly lowering the blanket until he shyly puts his arms around Janus in return.

“There you go, sweetie,” he encourages, “hold onto me, that’s it.”

“Why—why are you letting me hug you?”

“Because it seems like you’d like to hug me.” Janus squeezes him again. “You don’t need to have a reason, sweetie, if you need a cuddle, you can have one.”

I need a reason. I need an excuse. I need an argument. I have to convince you.

Another hiss. “You can always ask for hugs, sweetie, you don’t need to convince me to hug you.”

“…really?”

Oh, Roman… “Yes, sweetie, you can ask any of us.”

The wave of disbelief that hits him makes him grit his teeth.

“I promise, sweetie. I promise.” Another kiss to his forehead. “You’re not unwanted, you’re not a burden.”

The silence he gets implies that Roman may not want to prove that—or disprove it—for himself right now.

“…can we just stay here for a bit?”

“For as long as you need, sweetie,” Janus murmurs, settling them in for some rest, “for as long as you want.”

——————————

Patton is in the kitchen, the first one downstairs this morning. There’s already a pot of coffee brewing and he sets the kettle up on the counter. He reaches up to pull the mugs for everyone. The plain black one for Logan, the Nightmare Before Christmas one for Virgil, the sparkly one for Remus, and the blue puppy one for himself. He frowns.

Roman used to keep his mug down here too. This really big red one with a golden crown on the side. He hasn’t seen it in ages.

Footsteps on the stairs.

He turns and sees Roman walk into the kitchen, smiling brightly as if there’s nothing wrong in the world, not a seam or stitch of his prince costume out of place. He strides into the room like he owns it, as if he’s just come down the stairs in his resplendent palace to a crown of adoring onlookers.

“Ah! Patton!” Goodness, he speaks like it too. “Good morning!”

“Roman!” Patton rushes forward and wraps him in a hug.

This is where everything goes wrong.

Roman tenses. Not in a way that means he wants out, but out of sheer surprise. Patton waits for Roman’s arms to wrap around him but instead, there’s just a very, very soft touch to his shoulder.

“Patton,” he asks quietly, “are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m great, kiddo, why?”

“W-well, you’re…you’re hugging me.”

“Sure am.”

“…why?”

Suddenly Patton feels very cold.

He pulls back, not enough to let Roman go completely, but enough to look up and see a truly heartbreaking look of confusion on his face. He can’t help the soft noise that comes out of his mouth as he raises one hand to his face.

“Are you asking why I’m hugging you?” Roman nods. “I want to hug you, kiddo. You’re hug-shaped.”

“I’m…what?”

“Hug-shaped,” Patton repeats, tugging him a little closer with the arm still around his waist, “you’re worth hugging, I like hugging you.”

“O-oh.”

And Patton has to watch as every scrap of confidence falls from Roman’s expression, his shoulders slump, and he looks like he loses some of his height, even. The shift is so drastic that it almost springs tears to his eyes at how much Prince Roman suddenly looks like a lost child, swimming in a costume too big and too heavy for him. Roman face contorts as he looks at a spot on the counter, furrowing his brow as if it’ll explain everything to him if he just glares hard enough.

There’s something fragile about the way Roman leans into Patton’s hand, something breakable about how warm he is right now. Patton shifts his weight to his other leg and there’s a flash of panic in Roman’s eyes, quickly stifled but there.

“Oh, kiddo, I’m not going anywhere,” he murmurs, pulling Roman back in for a proper hug, “I’m right here, it’s okay. You just let it out, okay?”

Roman’s breathe shudders a little into Patton’s shoulder. Then he starts pushing Patton away.

Patton listens, confused, until he watches Roman shake himself and put the mask of the prince right back on.

“Terribly sorry,” he says in the awful, awful cheerful voice as he rakes a hand through his hair, “don’t know what came over me.”

“Don’t,” Patton blurts before he can stop himself, “don’t do that, sweetheart.”

“Don’t do what, Padre?”

“Don’t pretend,” he says, reaching out for Roman again, “you don’t have to pretend you’re okay. Or that you don’t want something.”

“I don’t like being needy, Patton,” Roman says in a soft voice that’s just this side of wobbly, “and you don’t like me needy.”

And doesn’t that just feel hot and guilty in Patton’s throat?

“I like you, sweetheart,” he says instead, “and you’re not being needy if you want comfort or even just a touch. You’re allowed to want something, Roman, you are.”

Roman huffs in disbelief and turns.

“No, Roman—“ Patton hurries to get in front of him— “you are.”

Something flickers across Roman’s expression. Patton doesn’t even need Janus to tell him that Roman thinks he’s walking into a trap.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” Patton says quietly, “I’ve hurt you so much, haven’t I? I’ve made you think that your job is wrong, that you—that you’re wrong and you’re not, kiddo. You’re not wrong. You’re not awful. I promise.”

Roman’s lip wobbles.

“Oh, come here, sweetheart,” Patton coos, wrapping him back in a hug, and finally, finally Roman’s arms come up to wrap around him too, before he’s being squeezed so tight it borders on painful.

Patton doesn’t care.

“It’s gonna be okay, sweetheart, I promise.” He rocks them back and forth a little as Roman buries his face in his shoulder. “We’ll figure it out, I know we will.”

They stay like that until the kettle goes off and Roman startles, jumping back a little bit. Patton soothes away the last of the jitters and smiles, watching Roman look like…Roman. Not the Prince, not the horribly lost child, just…just Roman.

“I think that’s my cue to make you the biggest mug of hot chocolate you’ve had since Christmas,” he says quietly, “now what mug would you like?”

Roman glances at the cabinet. “Anyone is fine.”

“Then why don’t you go grab one while I get the hot chocolate?”

Patton busies himself with the box, purposely letting Roman have his privacy as he picks out a mug, trying not to make his smile too blinding when he turns and sees Roman shyly hold out a big red mug with a sparkly crown.

“Good choice,” he says softly as he takes it from him, “I missed this mug.”

Judging by the way Roman’s mouth curls up in a little smile, he knows what Patton meant.

——————————

Virgil walks into the room and sees Roman sprawled out across the chair. He almost doesn’t see it.

He’s got to give it to Janus; even though he knows he can hear lies, he’s not sure he would’ve believed that they were actually coming from Roman. Because Roman looks the fucking picture of relaxed right now. It looks like he saw Patton and Logan on the couch and decided there wasn’t enough room for him to take up as much space as he wants. It looks like he’s occupying the entire fucking corner and not just the chair. It looks like he’s every bit the arrogant prince they used to think he was.

Then he sees how tight his jaw is and the slight tremble of his hands.

The room isn’t warm, there’s no reason for Princey to be shivering. There’s certainly no reason for him to be so tense as he sits in the chair, tapping a pen against his cheek in a fabulous impression of mindless thinking but is actually a carefully controlled way of preventing himself from moving any further.

He’s gotta hand it to him. Princey’s good.

Virgil walks up to Roman and shoves his hands into his pockets as Roman looks up.

“Dark and Stormy,” he says in a perfected casual lilt, “is there something I can do for you?”

And wow, okay, if this is what Janus hears all the time then Virgil has no idea how he fucking does it.

Janus hears lies, Virgil hears fears.

Please don’t make me leave.

If you want the chair I’l give it to you, I’ll move, I’ll sit on the floor, I’ll be quiet, but please don’t make me go. I want to stay, please, can I—can I stay? Is that okay?

Virgil tilts his head. “Move the book.”

Roman furrows his brow. “What?”

“The book.” Virgil nods to the notebook in Roman’s lap. “Move it. Move your arm.”

Confused, Roman does as he asks only to squeak in surprise when Virgil pronounces it perfect and plonks himself in Roman’s lap.

“Virgil!”

“Yeah?” Virgil pulls out his phone and leans his head against Roman’s shoulder. “What’s up?”

“You—you’re—“ Roman still doesn’t move— “you’re in my lap.”

“Sure am.” Virgil looks up at him and lowers his voice to a whisper. “No?”

Roman’s voice drops too. “What?”

Virgil indicates his weight. “No? This okay?”

“Y-yeah, it’s fine, I just—what?”

In lieu of a verbal answer, Virgil reaches behind him to take Roman’s free hand and pull it close, tucking it under his chin and clutching it there. Roman’s hand trembles. He finds himself absentmindedly running his thumb over the knuckles, the palm, the fingers. He keeps his eyes on Roman’s face.

Roman’s other arm lowers, gingerly resting on Virgil’s legs. Virgil smiles and squeezes his hand.

“I’m sorry, Princey,” he whispers, “I’ve been fucking awful to you.”

Roman’s face twitches. “…so have I.”

“What, been awful to me or awful to you?”

For a moment, he thinks Roman’s just going to say that he’s been awful to Virgil. Which, yes, he was in the past, but not like Virgil’s been. But instead, Roman opens his mouth and shakily whispers: ‘both.’

“I know, Princey.” Virgil squeezes his hand again. “You’re all good with me, and we can…if you want, I can help with the second part too.”

Roman’s eyes widen and godfuckingdamnit that hurts.

“I gotcha, Roman,” he says softly, lacing their fingers together, “and ‘m sorry I haven’t been there for you recently.”

Roman swallows, Virgil’s eyes drawn to the roll of his throat. “You…you want to help me?”

Roman, you’re gonna ruin my reputation of not having a heart by smashing it into fucking pieces.

“Yeah, Roman,” he reassures, “I wanna help you. You’re important.”

“I am?”

“Sure are, Princey.” He lightly knocks his head against Roman’s. “And if it ever feels like I don’t believe that, call me out on my bullshit. ‘Cause that’s bullshit.”

“What are you two muttering about over there?” Patton shakes his head fondly when Virgil decides to just turn his head upside down instead of turning around. “Virgil, that’s not good for your spine.”

“We’re metaphysical, Pop-star, who cares?”

“When you start complaining about neck pain,” Logan says wryly, “me.”

He glances up too and Virgil hides a smirk at how his face softens when he spots Roman’s expression.

“Is everything alright?”

“Yes, yes,” Roman says hurriedly, “everything’s fine.”

“It’s Hug Roman time,” Virgil says immediately after, “so I’m hugging Roman.”

“I think that’s less of a hug than you sitting on his lap,” Logan says, standing, “but we’ll never fit all of us on that chair.”

Virgil feels more than hears Roman’s inhale as Logan and Patton start moving the couch cushions to the floor. He sits back upright just in time to see Roman’s hopeful face and butts his head against his again.

“Come on, Princey, let’s go.”

“…are you going to stand up, or…?”

“Or you could carry me.”

“Virgil,” he hears Patton chide.

“No, no,” Roman says, “it’s fine, I can carry him if he wants to be carried. I will need my hand back, though.”

Okay, yes, Virgil does enjoy Roman carrying him a bit too much for altruistic purposes but it’s worth it when Roman goes to gently set him down and the other two pull him down instead.

“There,” Logan says softly as Roman’s head comes to rest against the base of the couch, “much better.”

Roman opens his mouth to say something when Logan’s hand tangles in his hair and it turns into a slightly strangled sound. Patton chuckles, wrapping his arms around Roman and sighing softly.

“Hey, who wants to play a game?”

Remus’s head pops up from behind the couch.

“We’re already playing a game,” Virgil says, “it’s called Cuddle Roman, now get your butt down here.”

Remus gasps. “My favorite!”

“Okay good,” Virgil mutters as he moves out of Roman’s lap to make room for Remus, “I totally thought he was talking about butts.”

“I have a feeling, my dear,” Janus sighs, striding from the shadows and totally not making Virgil jump, “that it’s both.”

Remus just cackles. Janus takes a seat, reaching out to take one of Roman’s hands in his. Roman frowns at him slightly, his head still spinning from the amount of people around him.

“What—is there something wrong?”

Janus shakes his head. “It’s Hug Roman hours. So I’m here.”

Vigil chuckles at the blush on Roman’s face. “So this is becoming a regular thing, right?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

“Indeed.”

“Yay!”

Remus just holds his brother tighter.

——————————

“…come in.”

“If you’d like to reschedule, Roman, it’s no trouble, I’m happy to…”

Logan trails off as he walks into the room, Roman’s back to him as he hunches over a table near the door to the Imagination. He shuts the door quietly behind him and tucks the notebook under his arm.

“Roman?” He takes a step forward. “Are you alright?”

“Never better, Specs,” Roman says cheerily, too cheerily, “just give me one moment and I’m all yours.”

Logan frowns. “If you’d like to reschedule, Roman,” he repeats, softer this time, “I can assure you, it’s fine.”

“No, no, that’d be rude.” Something crinkles in Roman’s hands. “Just—just one moment.”

There’s a heavy clunk and a barely contained hiss.

“Roman—“ he starts forward— “are you hurt?”

“Not hurt.” Another clunk. “Just…incredibly clumsy, it seems.”

“Can I help?”

If he weren’t paying attention, he would miss the way Roman’s shoulders tense with disbelief.

“N-no, that’s alright,” Roman says, the first time his voice has slipped, “I’m just…no, it’s alright.”

He jerks his head toward the desk, being very careful not to let Logan see his face.

“It’s over there, I’ll be with you in one moment.”

Logan looks, then walks over to the desk and carefully sets down his notebook. He glances up at Roman and can’t stop the soft noise at seeing Roman’s hands shake and fumble with a large bottle.

“Roman,” he calls softly, “Roman, please.”

Roman freezes.

“…please what?”

“Let me help you,” he says, walking over, “let me help you with this.”

Roman shudders and tries to laugh again. “You don’t need to busy yourself with inane and worthless tasks, Logan.”

Oh. Oh, dear.

“You’re not inane or worthless, Roman,” he says firmly, “nor are you a task.”

Roman’s shoulder is cold under his hand. He cups it nonetheless and leans closer, mindful to keep his gaze down and away.

“Please?”

Under his hand, Roman sighs. “…if that’s what you want.”

He’s not prepared for when Roman turns around, a bottle of micellar water in one hand and cotton ovals in the other. His makeup—done so wonderfully this morning—is smeared and wearing away, his nose bright red under the concealer. Logan lets out another soft noise, taking the proffered items and gently pushing Roman to sit on the table.

He takes one of the cotton ovals and gets it damp, cupping Roman’s chin in one hand.

“Let me know if anything starts to sting or hurt,” he instructs softly and starts to clean the smudges from his face. Roman sits perfectly still, his gaze down at Logan’s tie. His hands fold neatly in his lap and he looks every bit the cooperative ideal.

Except for the way he looks terrified every time Logan so much as shifts his hand.

“You are not worthless,” Logan says quietly as he works, swapping out the cotton ovals when needed, “you are not annoying me. You are someone I care about very deeply and someone I enjoy helping.”

Roman’s chin wobbles.

“I am always impressed by the ideas you create,” he continues after quietly bidding Roman to turn slightly, “and you never cease to amaze me with your creativity.”

Roman’s throat works against his hand as he swallows. “Remus—“

“Remus is Remus,” Logan interrupts gently, “turn—yes, there you go—and you are Roman. You are clever, you are kind, and you are wonderful, and I care about you very much.”

He takes a new cotton oval and takes Roman’s chin again, tapping gently until Roman makes eye contact.

“Close your eyes,” he bids, “and let me know if they start to sting at any point.”

Roman closes his eyes and Logan carefully, carefully starts to clean off the eyeshadow. The golden sparkles are stubborn, clinging to the skin, but he works patiently until the last of them come off. He realizes after that the oval is wetter than it was when he began.

“Oh, little star,” he breathes, glancing around and summoning a soft washcloth to clean Roman’s face the rest of the way, “it’s alright, you can cry if you need to. I won’t mind.”

“It’s stupid,” Roman mutters, raising a hand to swipe angrily at the tears, “it’s stupid.”

“If it’s making you upset, it’s not stupid.” Logan gently but firmly places Roman’s hands on his own shoulders and replaces them with the cloth. “Tell me?”

“I—it’s not even a quest.” Roman’s voice cracks horribly on the last word. “It’s just—I was making something and it broke and I—I worked really hard on it and now it’s ruined.”

Logan lets out a soft noise. “I’m sorry.”

His chest aches when the apology makes Roman shake himself. “It’s fine. Sorry, I didn’t want to just dump that on you.”

“I asked you to tell me what was wrong,” Logan chides, patting his cheek dry, “you’re not dumping anything on me.”

He sets the cloth aside and cups Roman’s face with his hands.

“And I am also sorry,” he whispers, “that I have made you believe that I do not worry about you the same way I worry about Thomas.”

Roman’s eyes fly open. “You—you what?”

“I care about you very deeply, Roman,” Logan says, “you’re very important to me. So yes, of course, I worry about you. You’re upset, and I’ve made you feel like you can’t come to me. I…I have not behaved well toward you. And I will remedy that.”

A new wave of tears meets Logan’s thumbs carefully swiping them away.

“Bonk?”

Roman leans forward and lets Logan rest their foreheads together. After a moment, his hands move to give Roman a proper hug, leaning up to press a kiss to his forehead.

“What were you making, if I may ask?”

“…just a house.” Roman sniffles. “It got destroyed in the last brainstorm.”

“Would you like help?”

“…don’t we have to work on the ideas?”

Logan smiles, resting their foreheads together once more. “This feels more important, doesn’t it?”

Roman’s small but warm smile is more than worth the extra hours they’ll have to spend working on the videos.

——————————

Somehow they forgot.

Somehow they forgot that Roman was scared of the dark.

It wasn’t common that thunderstorms plagued the Imagination, simply because—well, Thomas didn’t need literal brainstorms when he’s got Logan working with him. Sure, sometimes Remus decides he’s going to make his entrance extra cliché and arrive in a literal flash of lightning. Or Roman will create a field of flowers larger than the eye can see and soft bruised purple clouds will roll across the sky, quiet thunder and light rain that feels like a cushion.

But it’s never enough to cause a blackout.

For a moment, they’re all just confused. Thomas’s apartment is fine, Thomas is fine, so they don’t understand what’s happened. Then Remus points out that they, uh, maybe didn’t close the door to the Imagination as tightly as they should have.

He gets smacked upside the head for that.

So they’re here, in the middle of the dark, trying frantically to figure out how to not run into everything. Well, three of them are fine. Virgil can see in the dark. Janus can see in the dark. Remus can see in the dark.

“Is that because you’re the Dark Sides,” Patton mumbles as he puts his glasses back on for the fifth time in the past minute, “or do you each have some kind of ability?”

Remus smiles, even if Patton can’t see it. “It’s more fun!”

“That doesn’t—“ Logan pinches the bridge of his nose— “that doesn’t even answer the question, Remus.”

“I think you’ll find that’s his justification for most things,” Janus says wryly, taking Patton carefully by the arm and guiding him to sit on the couch, safely out of harm’s way.

Virgil elbows Remus to get him to put down the Morningstar, please, and sits down next to Patton. “How long is this going to take to go away?”

Remus shrugs. “Dunno. Probably won’t be that long. We all just gotta sit tight.”

Janus raises a hand to his mouth—not that Logan can truly appreciate his expression—and mock gasps. “Remus, suggesting that we don’t do anything?”

“Oh, fuck off, Snakey.”

“Language!”

Remus blows a fat raspberry. “Even I know it’s a bad idea to try and do something right now. I mean ask Roman—“

It takes a moment for them to realize that Roman isn’t sitting there.

“We should go get him,” Logan says after a moment, “just to make sure we’re all in the same place.”

And with that, Remus is off, stomping up the stairs and conveniently forgetting that two Sides can’t see past the little pinpricks of light at the bottom of the windows. Virgil rolls his eyes and makes to stand, only to frown.

“Virgil?” Logan touches his elbow when he notices him pause. “Are you alright?”

“Feels like I’m being summoned.” He rubs his chest absentmindedly. “But not really.”

“Well, let’s just keep an eye on—hey!”

Virgil doesn’t even hear the end of Logan’s sentence before he’s yanked into another room.

He blinks, disoriented, shaking his head to figure out where he is. Only when Remus bursts up the stairs and pouts that how dare Virgil sink out to beat him here does he realize why he’s here.

Judging by the way Remus’s face falls a second later, he does too.

Remus knocks lightly on the door. After a moment, he curses and goes to knock louder.

“Don’t,” Virgil mutters, grabbing Remus’s arm, “you’re gonna freak him out more.”

“Well, I can’t just blow the fucking door open,” he growls, shaking him off, “that’s gonna make it worse.”

He opens his mouth but another sharp tug from his chest makes him wince. “Okay, then don’t bust it down. Just—oh, god, we gotta get in there.”

“Don’t gotta tell me twice.”

Remus doesn’t rear back and kick the door open, which says something about how concerned he is. They can’t see much of anything except for—

—oh.

Oh, no.

Roman notices immediately when the blackout happens. How could he not? He’d been in the middle of trying to sort out his journal for the day when suddenly he was drowning.

Oh god.

Oh, god.

Within an instant, his chest seizes. He can’t see. He can’t see. There’s something—

No. No, it’s fine. He’s in his room. Everything is fine. Because he’s safe. He’s in his room, he knows where everything is, he knows what everything is in here, he’s fine.

There’s nothing here to be scared of. There’s nothing here to be scared of.

So why is Roman so scared?

He shouldn’t be. He shouldn’t be. He’s a prince, for Disney’s sake, he’s the protector of the Mindscape, he’s—he’s—

He’s Prince Roman. Not some newly minted squire crying because he’s away from home for the first time and it’s all dark and scary and he can’t see anything because he doesn’t know what’s going on and he can’t tell where anything is and he swears he can see things moving in the shadows and—and—and—

Roman shoves his fist in his mouth before he can whimper.

No. No. He’s fine.

He’s fine.

…besides, what would the others say?

He’s a prince. He’s Roman. He’s not some scared weak thing. He’s just—he’s just—it’s—it’s—

They can’t see him like this. He’s supposed to be strong. He’ll never be taken seriously if they don’t see that he can be strong. They don’t take him seriously already, do they? Let alone if they could see him in the dark, alone, hyperventilating, terrified.

But he is.

He’s—he—

Something moves.

Oh, god, something moved.

He freezes, goes absolutely still, tries frantically to still his heaving chest, be small, be unnoticeable, his pride doesn’t matter right now, it doesn’t, he’s not gonna be hurt if he can’t be seen—

“Ro-Bro?”

His next inhale is a whine.

No, no, not Remus—he can’t—not Remus, Remus is strong, Remus will laugh at him, Remus loves the dark, he can’t cry in front of Remus, not for this—

“Oh, Ro-Bro,” he hears through the haze, “Ro-Bro, I’m so fucking sorry, I forgot, hey—hey—“

He won’t cry. He won’t cry. He won’t cry.

“Hey,” Remus calls, tugging carefully at the hand clapped over his mouth, “hey, don’t do that, Roro, you’re gonna hurt yourself, stop it, it’s gonna fucking hurt if you do that, you know that—“

The sob that tears itself out of his throat as Remus pries his hand away hurts his ears.

“Hey, Roro,” Remus soothes, taking his hands and squeezing them firmly, “hey, you gotta just be here for me, you focus on me, okay?”

“Re—“

“Come here, Ro.”

Remus scoops him up into his lap. To hell with whatever is twisting around in the shadows, Remus is holding him in his lap, rocking him back and forth and Remus is of the dark.

A rush of shame through his stomach and the first real sob into Remus’s shoulder hurts.

“Nuh-uh, Ro,” comes the mutter over his head, “don’t hold it in.”

The shame only grows. Then Remus tightens his grip until it’s all he can feel.

“I’m right here, Ro, I’m right here. It’s okay. You can be scared.”

“N-not scared.”

A gentle hiss in his ear as something—someone presses against his back and more arms than he can count wrap around his chest.

“Shh, shh,” Remus murmurs as he starts, “it’s just Janny.”

“Boo,” Janus whispers as he presses a kiss on his shoulder. Why—why is he here—did he—did he lie too much? He’s not scared, he’s not scared—

“Shh, sweetie,” he whispers as Roman starts to flinch, “I’ve got you, you’re okay, sweetie, stop that. We’ve got you.”

“You’re scared, bud.” Is that—is that Virgil? “Hey, hey, buddy, we got you. I’m sorry, Roman, I forgot you were so scared of the dark.”

Can’t be scared, can’t be scared—

“Shh, shh, sweetie,” Janus murmurs, “stop that. You’re allowed to be scared, it’s okay. You don’t have to be ashamed of it.”

Virgil presses closer, nudging Janus’s head out of the way and replacing it with his own. He leans down to nuzzle into the crook of Roman’s neck, finding the place his collar digs into his neck and loosening it. Curse him. Curse him.

“Hey, bud,” Virgil murmurs, “you’re okay. You’re okay.”

“N-no—“

Janus hisses gently in his ear again.

“No—“ Roman’s breath hitches— “no, no, no—“

“Roman,” comes Logan’s warm voice from somewhere above him, and no—

“Give him to me,” he hears again after a moment, and when he feels Remus’s arms begin to loosen and Janus pulls away he mewls—

“Hush, little one,” Logan says softly, gathering the poor prince into his lap, “you’re safe, you’re right here, it’s just a blackout.”

“You’ll—“ Roman hiccups, his hands still pushing Logan away from him— “you’ll laugh—“

“Never,” comes the chorus, Logan’s arms firmly around his waist. Then another pair of hands covers his and pulls them away.

“Hey, kiddo,” Patton murmurs, gently but firmly placing his arms around Logan’s neck so Logan can cuddle him properly, “sorry it took us a little longer to get here, we had to take it slow up the stairs.”

“Pat—Pat—“

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” Patton coos, crouching down to run a hand through his hair as Logan tucks him into the crook of his neck and Virgil rests his head on his shoulder, “we’re all here, it’s okay.”

“Stupid—st—stupid,” Roman mumbles, “I’m stupid—“

Another hiss, followed by a kiss to the nape of his neck. “Stop lying, sweetie,” Janus whispers, “stop it. You’re not stupid.”

“I’m a prince afraid of the dark,” Roman spits out, disgusted, “of course I’m stupid.”

“Falsehood,” Logan murmurs with more tenderness than Roman can remember, “you’re not stupid. You’re not.”

“I’m crying because I’m afraid of the dark,” he spits again, “I’m af-fraid of the dark—I’m afraid of the dark, I’m—I’m afraid—“

He’s afraid of the dark.

Patton presses a kiss to his forehead. “I don’t like the dark either, sweetheart.”

“You’re—you’re not—you’re not crying—“

“No, I’m not.” Another kiss. “But you are, Roman, and that’s okay.”

“Come on, Princey.” Virgil butts his head gently against Roman’s. “You just gotta breathe first, okay? We’re not going anywhere.”

Remus calls from somewhere over his shoulder—what has he been doing? Where’s he been?— “come on, I got all the pillows.”

“Re?”

“Come on, Ro-Bro,” Remus murmurs, appearing at his other shoulder, “close your eyes.”

“It’s already d-dark, Re.”

“I know, but I don’t wanna get the blanket in your eyes.” Suddenly, there’s a swath of fabric hitting him in the face. “It’s just for a moment, Roro.”

“Ready?” Logan scoops him up. “Up we go.”

“H-how can you see?”

“He can’t,” Janus says, suddenly appearing behind him, “but I can. Come now, my prince, we’re just over here, come on…”

Roman lets out a soft noise of surprise when his back hits something soft.

“Snap yourself into something more comfortable, sweetie,” Janus murmurs, “we’re all just going to stay here for a while.”

Patton takes his hand and kisses the back of it as Logan helps tug down the t-shirt he’s poofed himself into.

“I’m sorry,” Roman mumbles, “I’m sorry I’m so scared.”

“None of that now, sweetheart,” Patton chides, cuddling into his side—oh, Patton’s in soft things too now— “you’re gonna be taken care of now. We’re right here.”

“I’m right here, Ro-Bro,” Remus says, promptly flopping down over Roman’s legs, “and no one else is going anywhere.”

Virgil huffs, curling around his head and ruffling his hair. “He’s right, Princey. Just relax for a little.”

“H-how long is the blackout going to last?”

“I don’t know, sweetie,” Janus says, snuggling into his other side, taking his hand between two of his, “but we’ll be here the whole time. Now please, sweetie, breathe.”

He tries. But it’s still dark and even though he knows the others are here, he can still feel the darkness pressing in on top of him. He can still see things moving in the shadows. He can feel it. He can see it. It hurts.

“Roman,” comes Logan’s voice, warm in the dark, “Roman, listen to me.”

“L-Logan?”

“Yes, dear,” he says, “it’s alright. Virgil is by your head, and he can see in the dark.”

Virgil gives his hair a little tug. “Right here, Princey. I’ve got you.”

“Patton is on your left. He won’t let anything hurt you.”

“I’ve got you, sweetheart.” Patton kisses his cheek. “I won’t leave you.”

“Janus is on your right. He can also see in the dark, and it’s his job to protect you.”

Janus leans down to kiss his temple and squeezes his hand. “My prince,” he murmurs tenderly, “my sweetie.”

“And Remus…”

“Nothing’s laying a fucking finger on you, Ro-Bro,” Remus growls from down by his feet, “they’re gonna have to get through me first.”

Logan chuckles. “See?”

“L-Logan?”

“I’m right here, little star,” he says softly, “what do you need?”

“W—where are you?” Roman’s hands tense in Patton’s and Janus’s. “Where—I—I can’t—“

“Hush now,” Logan says, so softly, so softly, as a hand cups his cheek to brush away his tears, “I’m right here, I know you can’t see me. I’m sorry. I know it’s dark. I know you’re afraid. It’s okay, my dear, shh.”

Roman tries to reach out for him only to be thwarted by the grip on his hands.

“Hush, Roman, it’s alright, what can I do?”

“S-stay, please, stay—I want you to stay—“

“I’m right here, can I—“

“Please—“

He almost sobs again with relief when Logan lies down, his head tucked over his shoulder, curling his arms about his waist.

“We’re right here, sweetie,” Janus murmurs, “we’ve got you.”

“I’ve got you, sweetheart.” Patton kisses the back of his hand.

“It’s okay to be scared, Princey.”

“We won’t let anything happen to you, Roro.”

It takes another half an hour for the storm to end and the lights to flicker back on. Roman stays tucked up in their arms, their soft words in his ear, gentle hands wiping away his tears, until he can blink up at all of them and murmur ‘thank you.’

“Of course, sweetie.”

“We’re here for you, Roman.”

“It’s no problem, Princey.”

“We’ve got you, kiddo.”

“All you gotta do is ask, Roro.”

——————————

Remus knocks on the door, the present in his hands. Roman opens the door and tilts his head.

“Re?”

“Can I come in, Ro-Bro?”

“Yeah, yeah, come on.” Roman shuts the door. “What’s up?”

“This is for you,” Remus says, holding out the box.

“Oh—Remus, I didn’t—I’m sorry—“

“You didn’t miss anything, Ro,” Remus says quickly, “and I’m not expecting anything in return. Just wanted to give you something.”

He shuffles.

“And I, uh, I also haven’t really apologized for the shit I’ve done to you, so…it’s that too.”

“O-oh.” Roman clutches the box. “Thank you, Remus. Can I open it now?”

“Sure.” He watches as Roman carefully opens the box and pulls out the stuffed octopus.

“Oh, Re, this is so cute!” He holds it up, looking at the little face. “I love it, thank you.”

He turns it over.

“Wait, what’s…”

“It’s a mood toy,” Remus says quietly, “if you flip it this way, it’s happy.”

The cream side of the octopus has a little smiley face.

“And if you turn it inside out—“ Roman flips the plush so that a red face frowns at him— “it’s sad.”

Roman’s eyes widen and he looks up at Remus.

“I know you find it hard to ask for things,” Remus says, edging a bit closer, “so I thought this could…help.”

“Re…”

“And I—oof!” Remus lets out a grunt as Roman tackles him onto the bed. He chuckles, his arms wrapping tightly around his brother. “I’m glad you like it Roro, just promise me you’ll use it?”

He gets his request a few days later.

It’s been quiet, Thomas is taking a break, and they’re all in various corners of the living room. Janus and Virgil are lazing about in the patch of sun by the window, Patton is in the kitchen, Logan is working on something on his laptop, and Remus is toying with the grip on his Morningstar.

Roman walks down the stairs and he’s clutching a little red octopus.

“Hey, Ro,” Remus says quietly, hopping up and scurrying over to meet him as he comes down the stairs, “you wanna go be alone?”

Roman shakes his head, pushing gingerly into the living room. Remus turns to see everyone paying attention to them, including Janus, who’s sat up fully and is reaching out to Roman.

“Come here, sweetie,” he calls, “is your brain being a bastard?”

Distantly, Remus hears Patton huff at the language but no one says a word as Janus gathers Roman into his chest, bending to murmur softly in his ear. Virgil scoots closer, acting as the guardian, letting Roman relax with the knowledge that nothing will surprise him right now. A gentle tap on Remus’s shoulder and he turns to see Logan, who bends closer.

“What do we do to help?”

“Help me make a mattress big enough for all of us?”

Under Logan’s guidance, Remus manages to make a normal mattress with lots of comfy blankets and pillows. Patton comes from the kitchen with a glass of water set on the table near the three on the floor. He pauses as he turns and quickly sets a cup of tea next to it.

Roman’s grip on the octopus doesn’t lighten up, even after he’s been in Janus’s arms for a while, even after Logan’s gone over and helped Virgil walk him through coming out of the spiral. Janus walks over to Remus and Patton and quietly tells them they should try and get them all to eat something. Nothing too straining for Roman’s system, but something.

Patton brings out a few bowls of snack food and sets them at the foot of the mattress. Then he goes and gently cards his hands through Roman’s hair.

“Come on, kiddos,” he says softly, “let’s move to the mattress.”

Logan scoops Roman into his arms, depositing him safely in the center of the mattress, little red octopus in tow. The rest of them cuddle around him, some Disney movie playing on the TV. Roman eats, then lays his head on Remus’s shoulder. Logan takes Roman’s free hand into his lap and cradles it there, stroking it with his thumb.

About halfway through the movie, Roman turns the octopus so that the cream side smiles at the screen too.

General:@frxgprince @potereregina @reddstardust @gattonero17 @iamhereforthegayshit @thefingergunsgirl @awkwardandanxiousfander @creative-lampd-liberties @djpurple3 @winterswrandomness @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes @iminyourfandom @bullet-tothefeels @full-of-roman-angst-trash @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind @demoniccheese83 @pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious @firefinch-ember @fandomssaremysoul @im-an-anxious-wreck @crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch @enby-ralsei @unicornssunflowersandstuff @wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams @averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @aularei @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws @cecil-but-gayer @i-am-overly-complicated @annytheseal @alias290 @tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance @whyiask @crows-ace @emilythezeldafan @frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires @cyanide-violence @oonagh2 @xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx @rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734 @triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo @cerulean-watermelon @puffed-up-bees

If you want to be added/taken off the taglist let me know

#dragonbabbles #fic #sanders sides #roman sanders #roman angst #logan sanders #deceit sanders #janus sanders #sympathetic deceit #remus sanders #sympathetic remus #patton sanders #virgil sanders

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sidespart · 3 years

Note

If you get the chance, can you ramble about your dark/light switcharoo au for a bit? I found the tag today and it looks super interesting!

oooh okay. I haven't thought about this one for a while so this is a bit haphazard/half remembered:

(First if you haven't seen it already @sher-soc-the-famder wrote this awesome fic inspired by the first drawing and a lot of the world building-y stuff below was inspired by that :D)

· So the 'dominant sides' are Repression (AKA Patton), Ruthlessness (AKA Logan) Self-indulgence (AKA Roman)

· Thomas doesn't have contact with any of the sides except maybe Repression and doesn't realise most of the others exist

· he's not as reflective of a person in this au loll

· Thomas decided to stick with chemical engineering and ended up working for an oil/gas company, eventually pivoting to the more business side of things. He's profit and power motivated guy and a bit of a slimy wheeler dealer

· All the plot of this AU takes place in the mindscape/equivalent

· This is basically a big old castle/fortress with a surrounding city

· the fortress is mostly Repressions domain, Ruthlessness has his own observation tower and the city is mostly under control of Self-indulgence who uses it as a playground that he can twist into whatever takes his fancy

· Courage and Self preservation (Virgil and Janus) don’t have their own domain and basically hide within the city limits, trying to avoid the others and also trying not to get sucked back into the subconscious

· R&R are smart enough to realise that completely destroying Virgil would have a negative impact on Thomas ( as he makes up a lot of Thomas’s caution etc) and since they don’t see him as any sort of threat they let him scratch out an existence on the outskirts

· They don’t know about Janus, who they believe disintegrated back into the subconscious a long time ago.

· Janus is still able to hide himself form the others and would be able to hide Virgil too if he didn’t insist on constantly trying to break into Repression’s fortress, where he believes he will be able to talk to Thomas and exert some influence on him. Or at least do enough to annoy R&R and disrupt their plans

· Janus and Virgil have had many, many arguments about this.

· On one reconnaissance mission into the fortress, Virgil finds Remus.

· Once upon a time, Repression and Ruthlessness decided to split Thomas’ fanciful side in two. They were planning to keep the confidence, self interest and enough creativity to help in his job, but get rid of all the silly childish stuff like the fantasies and the need for attention and the Disney obsession.

· They hoped the less desirable traits would fade away but instead they unexpectedly ended up forming another side, with the body of a child: Self- Expression (AKA Remus).

· Remus was kept chained up in the fortress dungeon and never allowed to grow, until he was eventually found by Virgil.

· Virgil had to convince Janus to come with him to actually rescue Remus and get them all back to their safe house, and during this mission Janus got spotted by Self-Indulgence.

· SO NOW:

· Virgil thinks Remus is the key to regaining control of Thomas. He has similar creative powers to Roman and could help them get into Repression’s fortress. He is also a part of Thomas that clearly still has the potential to grow and change, not locked into whatever roles the others have ended up with.

· Janus thinks this is an insane idea – Remus barley has any control over his creative powers (he tried to conjure a rose like beauty in the beast and ended up with a hammer). And is, for all intents and purposes, a kid – they should be protecting him not throwing him to the lions.

· Virgil agrees Remus isn’t ready YET but it still determined to train him for the right time, all whilst keeping his strange little family safe

· Lots of big brother Virgil and mom friend Janus. Remus is just absolutely beside himself happy to be out of the dungeon.

· Self – indulgence meanwhile desperately wants to see the man with the beautiful scales again. Self-indulgence is used to getting what he wants.

· Even though self- indulgence is on paper the most powerful side, what with his creativity reality warping powers, he hasn’t ever been much of a threat to la resistance as he is more concerned with himself than anything else and is too busy conjuring up gorgeous men to peel grapes for him.

· Now he’s interested in finding them, and the city they know is shifting and changing quickly as he searches.

· Meanwhile meanwhile, Repression has upgraded their threat level significantly and is also hunting them down. Like Virgil, he recognises that Remus is a significant threat to his rule, which is why he put so much effort into keeping him contained in the first place.

· Virgil still remembers when Thomas was younger and Repression had a different name. He’s convinced that if they can just rip his mask away, it will reveal all of Thomas’ true feelings that he’s been keeping down and revert Repression back into Patton.

· So, even though he doesn’t want to put Remus of Janus in danger, Virgil can’t help but be excited that Repression is being drawn out of his fortress and into the city to find them. This could be their chance!

· MEANWHILE meanwhile Janus’s scales are spreading. He’s convinced it’s a sign that he finally is disintegrating and fading away. Since they now have two out of three ‘light’ sides actively looking for them, he’s using all the power he has to keep himself, Virgil and Remus hidden and it’s making him weaker and weaker. He wont be able to keep his condition secret from Virgil for long…

· Meanwhile meanwhile MEANWHILE, Ruthlessness sits in his observation tower, watching the mind palace descend into chaos.

· He hasn’t left the tower in years, since they split Creativity, preferring to communicate with Repression though his head set when he needs to

· His tower is freezing to the point where when he does stand up, the ice on his throne cracks and splinters.

· The chaos in the mindscape is starting to impact Thomas in the real world, leaving him confused and anxious.

· Time for Ruthlessness to take back control.

#dark light swictheroo au #sadners sides fic #sidespart writes #roman sanders #virgil sanders #janus sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #remus sanders #so many sanders #sidespart replies #im now thinkign what the endign would be...i do have an idea but its a wee bit tragic

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cherry-sofa-729 · 4 years

Text

I cannot believe no one I’ve seen has made this headcanon yet.

Puberty Sides

Patton and Virgil with really bad acne, Patton’s is especially awful. Virgil covering his with makeup which just makes it worse, but he’s ✨insecure.✨ and there’s no way he can just walk around showing his disgusting face. Patton still has the scars cuz you KNOW the boi picks at his acne and definitely finds pimple popping satisfying

Logan with a mouth full of braces. That’s it, that’s the headcanon. But seriously the boy tends to spit everywhere when he talks cuz of all the metal in his mouth. He also adheres very strictly to the rules like no candy, no gum, etc.

👏Roman👏with👏voice👏cracks.👏 For real, he loses his ability to sing, period. He can barely talk without his voice splintering into a million pieces. He’s SO embarrassed over it too, every time he blushes and it only makes the cracks worse. Remus likes to mock him which doesn’t help anything

Janus grows scales and the puberty gods were merciful on everything else (unless you, uh, think about the two D’s at once situation if you know what I mean) but seriously he’s laughing at the others embarrassing themselves while he sits there FLAWLESS except for the scales

Remus growing body hair and REEKING of b.o with no interest in showering, shaving, deodorant, or hygiene in general. He grows a little moustache and considers it super impressive for some reason. Definitely doesn’t have any sense of privacy either and JUST figured out what his dick was actually for and how nice it can feel, sooooo… RIP

As always feel free to add on!

#sanders sides #thomas sanders sanders sides #logan sanders #remus sanders #ts logan #ts patton #ts remus #ts janus #ts roman #ts virgil #janus sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides headcanon

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rayisme · 2 years

Text

Romeo And Juliet But Gay

Chapter 10

Janus' POV

//Warnings: Dirty implications, Remus, self harm mention/hint

I hear crying from Virgil's room and I'm immediately worried as he gets Remus. "Remus, Virgil's crying. We need to comfort him. Summon some spiders and snakes to comfort him." I can hear him hum in agreement, then the hiss of many spiders and snakes. Soon after he comes out of his room and takes my arm.

"Let's go Double D!" I grab some snacks and a movie to try to comfort him. When we finally get there, it sounds like Virgil has stopped crying.

"Virgil? Can we come in please? We want to comfort you." There's a soft shuffling, then the door slowly opens. Remus beams and runs in, setting down the 2 boxes of snakes and spiders. Virgil raised an eyebrow as I closed the door and he pulled on his sleeves.

"What are in the boxes?" His eyes sparkle and I chuckle as he opens said boxes. Virgil smiles softly as I put the things down, then summon some bandages since we both know what it means when Virgil pulls on his sleeves. Remus plops in my lap and I chuckle a little when he kisses my cheek.

"Vee, will you let me bandage your arms?" I ask gently and his smile falters, then he looks down. I sigh softly and cuddle into him as I gently take one of his hands. I can tell he's focusing on the emerald and gold ring with the band looking like tentacles on my ring finger.

"... Sure... Remus picked out a nice ring for your wedding ring." He mumbles and I smile softly as Remus beams.

"Thank you Virgil, but you shouldn't try to distract us with complements. From now on, until I'm done, Remus will talk to you to prevent me from being distracted. I'm not gonna pull up your sleeve now so I can bandage your arm." Virgil nods and closes his eyes tightly, as if that could stop time and let him out of this situation. I gently roll up his sleeve and sigh softly at the small black lines of blood on his arms. "Go on Love, talk to him to distract him." Remus nods and thinks before he beams as I start to clean Virgil's arms.

"I'm gonna tell you about our wedding. I know you were there, but I still wanna rant about my husband and how cute he was." I smile more as I continue, then focus on the task at hand again.

Flashback

REMUS' POV

I absolutely beam as I fidget with the note cards in my hands. I know that I tend to be very "vulgar" as Jan-Jan puts it, but I want today to be special. So in the last few weeks, I spent hours writing and rewriting my vows. I even went over them with Virgil to make sure they weren't "rude!" I'm so excited and I bounce up and down a little as I pull a little on the edge of my suit jacket. I still can't believe Double-D said yes! I glance around the room, smiling widely as I watch the group I put on my side of the wedding, and the group I put on Janus' side.

On my side are a lot of zombies, about 200 last I checked. They're all sitting in black cushioned chairs, with the cushions being green. They groan softly when they notice I'm watching and shift, still tied to the seats so they didn't attack any other guests. I shift my gaze to the other side of the room as the zombies go quiet. On that side, there's the same amount of two headed snakes as there are zombies on my side. Their scales shimmer gold slightly in the moonlight, their eyes glowing a soft green. One near the front notices me staring and hisses happily. The others notice soon after and hiss as well. I chuckle and wave as I adjust my black crown with the emeralds to give it a bit of shine. Soon after, I hear the door to the old Victorian church creek open.

My breath catches in my throat when I see Janus coming down the isle, my gaze focused on his black silk dress that's lined in glittering, shining gold. The top is slightly off the shoulder, showing the beautiful green scales on the left side of his body. He has a black hat on that looks almost pinned in his hair to be kept in place, the ribbon on the middle glittering the same gold as his dress. Janus glances up, letting me see the green and gold glittering eyeshadow that accent his eyes perfectly. His lips have a beautiful, dark black lipstick on them that I'm so excited to mess up later tonight. I don't even notice the rest of the room, Virgil, or even the zombies or snakes around him. My gaze is focused purely on Janus.

When he finally sits next to me, my gaze comes into focus again and my mind registers that Virgil put my note cards in my breast pocket, where a glittering gold handkerchief sits, waiting to be tied to our door knocker tonight. We both smile and look to the pastor that I stole from Roman's side of the imagination, who's clearly scared out of his mind. He just gulps a little and looks down at his book. "I n-need your names..." Janus sighs a little and looks to me.

"Love, you know I'm nervous to tell anyone mine. Will you do something about it?" I nod and beam at the prospect of threatening someone, then look to the pastor.

"Sure sugar t!ts! For the record John, if you make fun of his name, I'll eat your arms and legs in front of you, shove your b@ll$ down your throat, then throw your still living body to the zombies!" John gulps in fear at this threat and nods a little, so I say my name. "I'm Remus Prince."

"And I'm Janus Smith." John nods and takes a deep breath before he starts to speak. To be honest, I tune out most of it as I go over my vows in my head, until I hear John say something that catches my attention.

"You may say your vows." I nod and look to Jan as I take out my note cards.

"When I first met you, I was one with another person. At the time, I only thought you cute. However, over time then we split and you took me in. You helped me to come to terms with my existence, and many other things that I don't wanna mention right now. You say I helped you with some self-esteem issues, but I don't see how anyone could dislike you at all. Even when I'm bouncing off the walls, you're supportive of me and listen to my rambling. It's because of you that when I wake up every day, I smile. I promise to forever keep you smiling. It's because of you that I'm happy every day. I promise to forever keep you happy. It's because of you that I know how it feels to truly cared for. I promise to always care about you. It's because of you that I have learned how to truly, deeply love someone. I promise to forever love you. I promise this and more, forever and always." Double-D looked like he was about to cry before he spoke.

"You know... Everyone says fate sounds so romantic. However, they may not know anything about Mythology then. In all the old myths, the Fates were the villains. However... I think one of their best decisions was to let you love me. I don't know what I'd do and I hope I'll never have to find out. So... I promise to love you, to protect and care for you, and to be patient and understanding. To support you, and to always be faithful to you. I will be your friend and companion, and I will share my life with you, through good times and bad times, as long as we both shall live."

"Do you, Remus Prince, take Janus Smith to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?" I beam and nod. We're finally getting to the good part.

"I do." He looks to Janus then, seeming to have calmed down.

"And do you, Janus Smith, take Remus Prince as your lawfully wedded husband to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, as long as you both shall live?" Janus smiles excitedly and looks to Virgil next to him.

"I do." John nods and smiles.

"I now pronounce you husbands! You may now kiss the groom." I smile brightly and Janus cups my face in his hands, then captures my lips with his own. I hook my arms around him and kiss back as we both relax. Once he pulls back, Janus looks me in the eyes and I can see the love in his eyes.

"I love you Remus." I smile brightly and kiss the snakey side of his skin.

"I love you too Jan-Jan! Now everyone go home!" I clap my hands, then we're back in Virgil's room, his arms bandaged.

"Thanks guys..."

Meanwhile

Morality's POV

I'm hanging out with Logic, just sitting in the living room as he reads and I pet a dog that Creativity had summoned for me a few weeks ago. Just as Logic finishes the page he was on, we both jump a little when we hear a thump of someone falling in Creativity's room. "Creativity!" I call out and teleport to his room.

His room is a lot different then our rooms, or even what we've seen of his room before. It looks like his room was once beautiful, matriculate until it seems that a tornado ripped through it. His bed was flipped over, the sheets, pillows and blankets strewn across the room. He has a bookshelf, which looks like it was pushed onto the ground with the books thrown across the room. His sword is lodged in the wall, which has a lot of holes in it. He looks up from where he was curled up on the floor and sniffled. "M-Morality...? L-Logic...?" He mumbles and I sit next to him.

"Oh Creativity... it's gonna be okay." I whisper and gently pull him close to me. He sniffles and hiccups a little as Logic sits next to us.

"Yes... I suppose it will be alright. Would you like to talk about what happened?" He asked and Creativity seemed to hesitate before he spoke.

"Well... The one I f-fell in love with... i-isn't who I t-thought he was..." I felt bad and sighed softly as I gently run my fingers through his hair.

"It's gonna be okay kiddo... do you wanna talk about it or something else?" Creativity shakes his head a little and rubs his eyes. "Okay kiddo. What do you wanna do instead?" I ask softly and he hesitates before he points to a box of Disney movies, so I look up at Logic. "Logic, could you keep him calm while I get some snacks? Thanks." I say without waiting for his answer and gently put Creativity in his arms, then teleport to the kitchen. I come back soon after and I can see that Logic has calmed down Creativity, wiping his tears away as well as wiping off his makeup. I just smile and set down the snacks I had gotten, then summoned a pillow fort in front of the TV, setting both of them in it. Logic nodded in thanks as I put the movie in, then give them their snacks. Creativity settles into his spot and relaxes.

"T-Thank you two..." We both nod to say "you're welcome" and the movie continues. About halfway into the movie however, he pauses it. I look to Creativity and he glances down before he says something almost under his breath. "I... I wanna talk about it." I nod and smile softly to him.

"Okay kiddo. We'll listen. Can I run my fingers through your hair to help you calm down?" He nods and I smile more. "Thank you." I start running my fingers through his hair and he relaxes as he starts to talk.

"Well... I had a crush on this guy... For a year, I thought he was a creation of the imagination. That he would die very easily, unlike us. But... I f-found out... He's a side..." My eyes widen a little, but I let him speak to get it all out. "N-Not only a side... A d-dark side...!" He says and I freeze.

"Oh dear..." I whisper and think to myself before I answer. "Well... If you really care about him, then you should try to do something about it. I don't think it really matters that much. Even though they're bad..." I trail off, hesitating. But this guy misled him this entire time. What if he's using him? Creativity says something and I glance over.

"I d-do... But... I f-feel betrayed... He d-didn't tell me for so long... He d-doesn't trust me and will n-never like me...!" I feel bad and sigh softly.

"Creativity... I doubt he doesn't trust you. And you don't know if he doesn't like you until you ask him." Logic nods in agreement.

"Yes. Though we know the dark sides are bad people, perhaps this man is not as conniving. Though it is not a good sign that he lied to you for that long." Creativity just starts crying again and I try to calm him down. Eventually, he falls asleep into his blankets and pillows, so I pull Logic off to the side.

"Logic, why did you say that? You hurt his feelings." Logic shrugs and seems to be confused.

"But it was accurate. I don't understand your emotions. My brain doesn't work like yours do." I nod a little and try to think about the problem.

Logic's POV

"But it was accurate. I don't understand your emotions. My brain doesn't work like yours do." I reply and push up my glasses as Morality nods, then seems to be thinking.

"Well... Maybe I can try to show you one." Morality says and steps a little closer. I'm a bit confused about what he means and glance around.

"Well... that depends. What do you want to show me?" I ask and glance back at him as his face warms.

"I... I think I love you Logic." My eyes widen behind my glasses and I go silent. "Do... Do you like me too?" He asks softly and I glance away.

"I'm... I'm sorry Morality. I do not share the same feelings. I apologize that I might've hurt your feelings, but I am Aroace. Otherwise known as Aromantic Asexual. I do not experience these emotions that you are talking about at all." Morality nods and looks down.

"Oh... Well, thank you for listening. And thank you for putting it so kindly. I'll leave you to whatever you want to do now." I nod a little and he teleports away as I sigh.

"I'm sorry Morality." I say softly, then grab a book. I shouldn't have to apologize for my orientation. I wish people were more accepting of people like me. This is why I don't show my emotions. I end up hurting others. I sit down on my bed to read, until we're all teleported to Thomas.

Thankfully, both Creativity and Morality have calmed down as Thomas speaks. "We're going to do the first episode of my new series now! I've decided it's going to be called, 'Sanders Sides'." I nod a little at his explanation as Creativity smiles.

"Glad to see you took my vote into consideration Thomas! Now let's get this started."

//I'm gonna be going on break for a bit, but I'll update when I can.

@lovelivingmydreams @transformationloveb @leconcombrerit @fandomfollowerart @strangestormcloud @anonymous-gremlin @virgil-my-emo-son @mountains-on-mountains

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today-only-happens-once · 4 years

Text

(un)claimed

Title: unclaimed

Summary: Virgil is a demigod. The good news is that he is not alone. A Percy-Jackson!AU fic. Platonic/found-family DRLAMP dynamics.

Word Count: 4217

Warnings: some violence and weapons, Greek mythology, passing mention of curses, feelings of anxiety, some self-doubt and self-deprecation, parent issues (of course, it’s a pjo!AU), no Side is a bad guy but there’s some tension between Remus and Roman, I play a little loose with PJO timeline stuff woops, Janus has done some light antagonizing of the gods.

A/N: Honestly, it should surprise nobody that I wrote this. Heh. Just for fun to release the happy chemical in my brain. Not that deep or involved. Just a light little diddy. <3 Hope you enjoy! Edited by yours truly so all mistakes are mine. No tags because it’s a fandom-specific AU, not because I don’t love y’all. <3

///

“See that tree on the hill?”

Virgil quirks an eyebrow at the boy beside him, taking in his bright orange t-shirt and the three beads on his leather necklace. He has what Virgil would swear was snake scales across the left side of his face. Janus, he had said his name was. (Like the god? Virgil had asked. No relation. Not unless Athena has some explaining to do, the boy had told him with a wry smile as if that was somehow supposed to make sense.)

He’d met Janus four hours ago in New York in Central Park after a very weird encounter with a cyclops. Though if he’s being honest, the cyclops had only been the most recent run-in with vicious creatures out of his mother’s old Greek myth anthology. He’d been ducking and dodging and outrunning them for nearly a year at this point. Janus had appeared seemingly out of nowhere, sliced the cyclops with a dagger and it vanished in a puff of gold dust.

Then Janus told him he knew a safe place to go. Perhaps he was an idiot, but Virgil had followed without much objection. The idea of a place that was safe was nearly too good to be true, but Janus had just dusted a cyclops. And Virgil figured there was at least some power in numbers, if nothing else.

Virgil follows where the other boy is pointing and sees a tall pine tree at the top of the steep hill. He nods.

“Go there. You’ll see a camp in the valley. Chiron will explain.”

“Chiron?”

“Yes. Activities director. You can trust him.”

“You’re not coming too?” Virgil looks at the boy beside him again. Janus is looking in the opposite direction of the tree back the way they’d come and he yanks the dagger out of his belt.

Janus’s mouth twitches. “We’ve got company. I will hold them off. The border is protected. You’ll be safe once you cross the tree line.”

Alarmed, Virgil looks over his shoulder and sees a winged creature in the distance. It looks almost a like a bat, if a bat could be the size of a human person. “What is that?!”

Janus gives a slight shove to Virgil’s shoulder. “Run, Virgil!”

“I can’t leave you behind—”

Janus mutters something that sounds foreign, and yet Virgil understands it. A curse word in… was that ancient Greek? Virgil isn’t given time to process it before Janus grabs Virgil’s arm and takes off at a sprint up the hill. Virgil stumbles but he manages to keep his feet under him as he takes off at a run for the looming pine. As they get closer, Virgil chances a glance over his shoulder. The winged creature is maybe twenty yards away. It’ll be on them any second.

Janus whistles sharply. “Hey! We got incoming!”

Seemingly out of nowhere, three other kids appear from near the tree. One of them notches an arrow in an honest-to-gods bow. He aims, then releases. Virgil watches, stunned, as the blow strikes true and the winged creature vanishes in a puff of gold dust that gets caught in the breeze.

Virgil rests his hands on his knees as he catches his breath. Janus, beside him, is breathing hard as well but he nods to the kid with the bow and arrow.

“Nice shot,” Virgil tells him.

The kid looks to be maybe a year older than Virgil, and is wearing a t-shirt that matches Janus’s. He’s also got a necklace of beads, though his has five of them. Virgil realizes that some of them match Janus’s, plus a few more. He slings the bow across his back and flashes Virgil a bright grin.

“Thanks! I’m Sloane.” He extends his hand.

“Virgil.” He shakes the kid’s hand.

Sloane nods to the other two kids that had materializes near him. One of them is a girl that looks a little younger than Virgil, maybe 14, with dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. The other is a guy in a backwards baseball cap and a plaid shirt over the orange tee that looks about Sloane’s age. His necklace only has one bead on it.

“This is Valerie,” Sloane introduces. “She’s from Cabin 10. And this is Kai. He’s from Cabin 9.”

“Sloane,” Janus interrupts. “Where’s Chiron?”

Sloane jerks his head down the hill. “In the Big House with the lead counselors.”

Virgil watches Janus’s brow furrow. “Seems unusual. Did something happen?”

Valerie sighs. “Kind of. Dionysus gave one of his kids a quest. Counselors are meeting about the prophecy to see who is going.”

Janus’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Which one?”

“Jack. The prophecy mentions a death. That never bodes well, and kids aren’t exactly lining up to work for Mr. D.”

Janus hums thoughtfully, his eyes trailing over the crest of the hill. Virgil watches as he shoves the knife into his belt. Kai cocks his head slightly, studying Virgil closely. Then, he looks at Janus. “Has he been claimed?”

Virgil frowns. “Claimed?”

“No,” Janus tells Kai, then looks to Virgil. “Follow me. I’ll explain as we walk.”

Janus nods to the other three and Virgil follows him down to the valley below. From this vantage point, Virgil sees the cabins Janus has been talking about, forming something like a horseshoe shape. In front of it is a large building that Virgil assumes is the ‘Big House’ that Sloane had mentioned. He sees other buildings and structures, but decides to wait to ask about them.

People mill around, most of them wearing the orange t-shirt that has a winged horse and the words Camp Half-Blood printed on them. When they notice Virgil, most of them throw a curious glance to Janus. Janus doesn’t even seem to notice.

“Welcome to Camp Half-Blood,” Janus says as they walk. “It’s one of the few safe spaces left for demigods like us.”

“Wait,” Virgil says, certain that he heard Janus incorrectly. “Demigod?”

Janus glances at him. “Hm. I gather you really don’t know very much. Yes, demigod. Half-god, half-mortal.”

“And you think I’m one of these, uh, half-bloods?” Virgil shakes his head. “Listen, I think you’ve got the wrong guy.”

Janus looks almost amused now, an eyebrow arching almost like a challenge. “You couldn’t have gotten across the border into camp if you weren’t. Let me guess… you have ADHD and dyslexia.”

“Wh—I mean, yes, but—”

“You were raised by either a single parent or no parent at all,” Janus continues.

“My mom, until—”

“You see things others either don’t see or don’t remember.”

“I—”

“Please. Do stop me if I’m wrong.”

Virgil falls silent, his chest a bit tight. He crosses his arms over his chest as they walk.

Janus waits for a beat before he elaborates, sounding like it’s a spiel he’s given a dozen times already. “The ADHD is the battle reflexes. Dyslexia is because your brain is wired for ancient Greek, not modern English.”

Virgil’s mind is reeling. “But—”

“The things you see are because you’re a demigod. You are able to see things as they are. Mortals—most mortals—get deceived by this thing called the Mist. Someday, with training, you’ll be able to manipulate it as well. It’s a useful skill.”

Virgil feels suddenly way too hot, and yet still has the sudden desire to pull the hood of his hoodie up over his hair. “Demigod,” he repeats, though saying it aloud doesn’t help it make sense. “Are… Are you telling me that my dad is a god? Like a Greek god? Zeus? Apollo? Those guys?”

Janus glances at him and looks, for a split second, almost apologetic. “I understand that it’s a lot to take in at once. This is why Chiron usually takes the initiation. He usually has a more, ah, sensitive means of broaching the subject. But since he’s meeting with the lead counselors, I’m afraid the responsibility falls to me.”

Virgil blinks. He can feel the pressure in his chest building and he forces himself to take a breath. It doesn’t help as much as he’d been hoping it would. “Which one?”

“Hm?”

“Which god is my dad?”

They’re passing in front of the Big House now. There’s two people standing on the front porch—a blonde girl holding a Yankees cap and a boy with a goatee leaning against the railing—seeming deep in conversation. The blonde girl offers Janus a small wave. Janus nods back.

“To your question, the answer is that we don’t know,” he says. “Since you haven’t been claimed yet, your guess is as good as ours. But you might be claimed any minute now, or never claimed at all. I was claimed three days after arriving at camp by Athena. But we have several campers who haven’t been claimed at all. Remy Short is one such example.”

“Athena. Goddess of wisdom and strategy,” Virgil remembers. He’d read that name in his mother’s library when he was younger. And he has a vague memory from sixth grade social studies.

“Indeed,” Janus replies. They circle around the house and Virgil realizes that Janus is leading him towards the semi-circle of cabins. “Since you haven’t been claimed yet, you’re designated to Cabin 11. Hermes’ cabin.”

“Janus!” A bright, cheerful voice calls from behind them. Janus stops and turns, and Virgil follows his gaze. A boy that looks about Virgil’s age, maybe a year older, is running towards them from the Big House. He’s got a flop of curly hair and big round glasses.

“Patton,” Janus greets as the boy slows to a stop near them. “Virgil, this is Patton. He’s the head of the Hermes cabin.”

Patton grins and holds out his hand. “Hi, Virgil. Welcome to Cabin 11. I’ll talk to Chiron about getting you some supplies—”

“I’ll talk to Chiron,” Janus interrupts as Virgil shakes Patton’s hand. “I need to ask him about some things anyway. Patton, could you—”

“For sure,” Patton agrees readily. “I’ll show Virgil around!”

Janus excuses himself and starts towards the Big House. Virgil rubs the back of his neck and offers Patton an awkward smile. Now that he’s closer, Virgil realizes that Patton is maybe an inch or so shorter than him. He’s got four beads on his necklace.

“How ya doing?” Patton asks him, startling him out of his thoughts. Virgil meets his eyes. Patton’s are a warm brown, and his smile is sympathetic. “I remember my first day at camp. It’s always overwhelming.”

Virgil huffs. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“You’ll love it here,” Patton says with a surprising amount of confidence.

Virgil arcs a skeptical eyebrow. “I’ve heard that before. I don’t seem to, ah, stay in one place very long.”

“Kicked out of school?” Patton guesses. He starts walking around the cabins and Virgil follows, slipping his hands into the pocket of his hoodie.

“Yeah. Several times.”

“We all have,” Patton says, not unkindly. “That’s the best thing about camp. In the mortal world, we’re all labeled as weird or outcasts. But at camp? We’ve all been through it. Oh! This is Cabin 10. Aphrodite’s cabin.”

Patton walks Virgil around the semi-circle, explaining each cabin’s assigned deity. He adds that Cabins 1 through 3 are empty, though apparently there was a girl that used to be in Cabin 1—Zeus’s cabin—who joined the Hunters of Artemis and left camp. Cabin 2 was Hera’s, and since she didn’t have children, the cabin was mostly honorary. Cabin 3 usually had a kid in it, but he apparently was on some kind of recon mission and wouldn’t return for another day or two. Cabin 8—Aretmis’s cabin—is also, usually, empty except when the Hunters visit.

“Since you don’t know who your dad is, you get to bunk with us at the Hermes Cabin,” Patton explains. “We take all unclaimed kids, since Hermes is the god of travelers.”

“I thought he was the god of thieves,” Virgil says before he can think about it.

Patton smiles sheepishly. “Yeah, that too. If you’ve got anything important, maybe keep it with ya. Just in case. I try to dissuade stealing, but old habits die hard for some of these kiddos.”

Patton leads him around the camp, pointing out the strawberry fields, the armory, and the forge that mostly gets used by the Hephaestus kids. A few of them wave at Patton, who eagerly waves back and calls a few of them by name. He shows Virgil the arena, where two kids are sparring. Patton takes a seat and Virgil sits beside him, watching the two boys circle each other.

Both of them are wearing matching orange t-shirts—Patton had told him that he’d be getting one too—and some armor. One of them has dark hair and square glasses. He’s got two knives, one in each hand, and even from a bit of distance Virgil can sees the slight sheen of sweat to his forehead. The other one’s hair is a couple of shades lighter. His sleeves are rolled up and he wields a sword and a shield.

“The one with the glasses is Logan,” Patton explains. “He’s a child of Athena. The other one is Roman. He’s a child of Apollo. I met both of them in Seattle before we made our way to camp together thanks to some help from a satyr.”

“All three of you have been claimed?” Virgil asks, watching as Roman charges at Logan who rolls out of the way and then nimbly jumps back up to his feet. He slashes at Roman’s back but Roman parries the blow with a well-timed flick of the sword.

“Not immediately,” Patton says. “Logan was claimed as soon as we got to camp, but it was a month or so for me. And Roman was nearly a year before Apollo claimed him during a campfire song. It certainly surprised a lot of people.”

“Why?”

“His brother was claimed by Ares three months before him, so most people thought Roman was Ares’ kid too.”

Virgil glances at Patton. “Roman has a brother?”

Patton’s mouth presses into a thin line for a moment, and Virgil gets the sense that it’s a touchy subject. “Yeah. Remus. It’s unusual for two kids of the same family to both be demigods, and the fact that their father are two different gods led to some… tension. Roman and Remus don’t exactly get along.”

Virgil nods his understanding and turns his attention back to the sparring pair. Roman blocks a quick slash from Logan with his shield and swipes at him with the sword, but Logan parries the blow with the other knife in his hands. Then in a series of quick movements—Virgil isn’t sure how it happens, exactly—Roman is flat on his back and Logan is on his chest with the knife to his throat.

Roman says something that Virgil can’t make out, and Logan says something in kind before he climbs off Roman and helps him up. Roman flashes a grin and shoves Logan’s shoulder before he glances past his sparring match and sees Patton and Virgil sitting on one of the benches.

Roman waves. “Heya, Padre!”

Logan glances over his shoulder and quirks an eyebrow at Virgil but stores his daggers as Roman jogs over. Patton stands and Virgil follows him down to meet Roman halfway.

“Hey, Roman,” Patton replies. “I didn’t know you started using a sword!”

Roman grabs a towel off a nearby bench and mops the sweat off his forehead. “It’s new. I’m still trying to get used to it. I think the balance is off.”

“The balance is fine,” Logan quips, stepping up beside him. “You just need more practice.”

Roman rolls his eyes but doesn’t argue. “Either way, Specs. I’ll take archery any day over waving a sharp stick around.”

“You are definitely a son of Apollo,” Logan rejoins back without malice. “And it would be unwise to only be versed in ranged attack.”

“And you are definitely a son of Athena.”

“Correct.”

Virgil snorts, and then a part of him regrets it as Roman and Logan both look over at him. Virgil flushes slightly, uncomfortable with the sudden attention, but Patton seems to only perk up more.

“Oh! Sorry, this is Virgil. He’s a new camper. Janus ran into him on his way back and brought him along.”

“Which cabin?” Logan asks.

Virgil shrugs. “For now, Cabin 11, I guess.”

“Unclaimed, then.” Virgil listens for the judgement in Logan’s voice, but he doesn’t hear it. It sounds more like a flat statement of fact, as if reporting the weather. Logan nods once. “Very well.”

“I was just showing him around,” Patton supplies. “You guys wanna join?”

Logan starts shrugging out of the armor he’s wearing. “Regrettably, I said that I would assist Harley with some blueprints when I had finished sparring with Roman.”

Roman slides the sword into the scabbard at his side. “And I’m overdue for a Pegasus lesson. I can’t miss it again. The last thing I need is Mr. D giving me another earful.” Roman gives a quick two-finger salute and rushes out of the arena.

Virgil blinks at Patton. “Pegasus?”

Patton grins brightly. “Come on. I’ll show ya.”

…

Patton spends the rest of the afternoon showing Virgil around the camp. They go to the stables (where Roman offers to take Virgil for a ride but Virgil immediately declines because he’s never been a fan of flying). They swing by the beach on their way to the climbing wall. Virgil watches, amazed, as two kids climb with impressive speed and narrowly avoid the magma that starts to pour down it.

One of the kids has a Morningstar gripped between his teeth, a green bandana around his upper bicep and a matching one around his head. He’s fast, scaling the wall with a well-practiced ease. Virgil hears him laugh delightedly when his hand slips and he almost gets burned by the lava. It’s somehow both impressive and disconcerting.

“That would be Remus.”

“That’s Remus?” Virgil repeats, though when he looks a bit closer he sees the similarity in hair color and skin complexion. “I guess I see the resemblance.”

“Don’t tell Roman that,” Patton says lightly. “C’mon.”

They pass the amphitheater where, apparently, there would be a bonfire tonight. Patton shows him the volleyball court where four kids are playing one another. They wave at Patton as they pass.

“You seem popular,” Virgil supplies. He’s lost track of how many kids have waved at them as they walk around.

Patton lifts a shoulder modestly. “I dunno. Since Hermes is the catch-all cabin, a lot of camp knows me since they come to our cabin if they haven’t been claimed yet. Sometimes we get kids that get claimed right away, or kids that already have been claimed, but otherwise? I get to be their lead counselor for at least a little bit.”

“Sounds like a lot of responsibility.”

“I kind of like it,” Patton admits with a smile. “It’s like I’m everyone’s honorary camp dad.”

The conversation cuts out as dinner is called and they head to the mess hall. Patton explains the offering to the gods prior to the meal, and Virgil scrapes part of his plate into the fire. He doesn’t know what to ask for.

It’d be nice to have a family again, dad, he thinks, unsure of who he should even direct the comment to. Patton waves him over, offering a seat beside him.

Virgil chances a glance around the mess hall as they eat. The Hermes table is certainly the most crowded, though Virgil can’t say he finds that surprising. Athena’s table has several kids reading while eating. Two kids at the Ares table are in the middle of an arm-wrestling competition. One kid at the Hephaestus table is pouring over a blueprint, and Virgil wonders if that was the Harley kid that Logan had mentioned.

Towards the end of the meal, a few kids at the Apollo table starts singing “Bohemian Rhapsody” and it’s not long before most of their table is doing the entire song with harmony. Someone from the Demeter table tells them to ‘save it for the campfire’, but it does nothing to deter the Apollo kids. Virgil catches Roman laughing as he sings, one of his sibling’s arms slung around his shoulders.

Virgil glances over and sees Logan at the Athena table sitting next to Janus, watching the chaos unfold and the faintest quirk of his lips betray his amusement.

Virgil feels some of the tension in his chest relax just a little.

…

The bonfire starts around dusk. Virgil is making his way to the amphitheater from dropping supplies off at the cabin when Roman comes up from behind him and loops his arm through Virgil’s, chattering excitedly about how much he loved this part of camp. Virgil sees an ukulele case slung around his shoulder.

Logan appears a second later on the other side of Virgil, commenting dryly that the Apollo kids had done their vocal warm-ups during the dinner. This only served to lead Roman to do actual vocal warm-ups—trills and scales, specifically—as they walked. Patton and Janus were already sitting down, three rows back. Patton waves when he sees them file in. Remus is sitting beside Janus, seemingly trying to goad him into some kind of competition that he was having no interest in. The firelight glints of Janus’s scales.

“Hey,” Virgil says to Roman and Logan. “Can… I ask what happened to Janus?” He immediately regrets the question, cursing his lack of a filter, but neither of the other boys seem perturbed by the question.

“A curse from Aphrodite,” Logan answers. “Janus had gone on a quest for our mother, and it led to some… unsavory tension between himself and Aphrodite. From what he’s told me, he accused Ares of being a snake in the grass while in the presence of Aphrodite, and… well. The love goddess didn’t take kindly to that. But it’s purely cosmetic.”

Virgil arcs an eyebrow. “Remus seems chill with him.”

“I’m not sure that Remus is aware of the accusation Janus leveled at his father,” Logan muses. “And Janus is not one to hold the children accountable for the actions of their godly parent.”

“It doesn’t benefit him,” Roman adds in, using his free hand for air quotes. “Or something like that. Janus is all about himself and how he can improve his own standing.”

“Sounds like someone else I know,” Logan quips dryly.

Roman scoffs, but when Virgil looks at him, there’s a teasing glint to his eyes. “Well, I wasn’t going to say it, but you guys are half-brothers for a reason.”

Logan looks at Roman over the top of his glasses, but Roman just shoots him a cheeky smile as they approach the other three. Virgil slides into the seat beside Patton, followed by Logan and then Roman. There’s a few kids—Virgil isn’t sure what cabin they’re from—trying to lead a call-and-response chant as campers file in. Down the row, Remus enthusiastically calls out the responses at the top of his lungs.

“Roman!” A new voice calls out from the end of their row. A tall guy, a couple of years older than them, is holding a ukulele and jerking his head down towards the bonfire. “You ready to help me kick this thing off?”

Roman grins and jumps up. “Would be an honor, Thomas.” He rushes off and he and Thomas start playing a song together with practiced ease. He and the other Apollo kids start singing, and before long the vast majority of campers are joining in. A few of them, including Patton, sway a little. Virgil doesn’t sing, but he listens and tries to remember the words.

The sky grows dark. The Apollo kids eventually cede the floor to some Ares kids who start up another chant. More songs are sung, some snacks get passed around, and Virgil is starting to think that maybe, with time, he could get used to this.

“Oh! I almost forgot!” Patton says beside him, as the next song starts. He drops something into Virgil’s lap. “I got this for ya.”

Virgil looks down. It’s two camp t-shirts. The black winged horse and the Camp Half-Blood print stares up at him. He looks over at Patton.

Patton just smiles. “Claimed or not, you’re one of us. We claim you.”

Virgil feels like maybe that’s good enough for him.

#sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #sanders sides au #platonic drlamp #virgil sanders #percy jackson au #pjo!au #fighting #weapons #violence #found family? in my fics? its more likely than you think #janus sanders #remus sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders

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creativia10 · 3 years

Text

House Rivals are just exciting

@dukeceitweek

(Snakes)

Janus and Remus have had an unlikely friendship, with their Hogwarts houses being known rivals. There could be more to their friendship

Pairing: Janus x Remus

Wordcount: 3187

Warnings: suggestive themes

“Hey there Double D!”

Janus rolled his eyes as Remus sat across from him at the Slytherin table. Which of course was followed by stares and whispering as though Remus hadn’t been doing this carelessly for years.

“Hello, Remus.”

It was almost funny how it started.

Janus had been one of those bright eye incoming first years, new to the magical world but not oblivious to it. You couldn’t exactly be completely in the dark when half of your face was covered in snake scales due to your dead-beat magical Dad’s farewell curse as a final F you to his muggle mother. Yet, he had discovered right away that even in the magical world, he was an outcast because of his face.

This kid, an energetic thing, had sprung into his lonely cabin before the train left, sitting too close, and asking excited questions about the snake scales on his face. Janus had just been too bewildered at the reaction at the time to be offended. His look alike that followed him was less thrilled to join Janus in the cabin, although he didn’t keep Remus from his excited babble.

For some reason, nobody was surprised Janus ended up in Slytherin, although at the time Janus wasn’t sure why considering nobody knew him yet. It’s not like anybody had told him about the house reputations. His mother, while supportive of him, was also in the dark.

He was shown pretty early though about the house rivalry with Gryffindor. He would say the description of that house’s occupants did seem rather annoying. However, when Remus still came up to Janus after sorting, with them now in rivaling houses, Janus couldn’t help feel some fondness for the weird boy. It’s not like Janus ever cared about sticking to what people expected anyways. His friend Remy, also a Slytherin, didn’t really get it, but at least he didn’t give Janus a hard time about it, unlike others in their house.

Remus wiggled in his seat, somehow still having that restless energy even though he really wasn’t a child anymore.

“Soo, what are you up to today~?”

Janus raised an eyebrow at him,

“Nothing exciting is on the agenda. Probably some studying, maybe see if I can somehow get approval to visit with the snakes, again.”

Remus let out a raspberry at that. “Boo. That’s boring. We should do something together!” He stood up dramatically with his last statement. Janus sighed at the attention he was drawing to them.

“Well, unfortunately, our N.E.W.T. exams are coming up and I actually care about how I do on them.”

Remus had given a variety of answers over the years when asked what he wanted to do after school, so nobody was really sure what he actually wanted to do, or how seriously he took his classes because of that.

Remus pouted. “Well…I could keep you company while you study? Maybe we can study together!”

Janus smirked at him.

“I can’t picture you sitting still to study. I appreciate the sentiment, but I am pretty sure you would just be distracting."

Remus frowned, but it seemed less playful then earlier."

“Ok well…I’ll just see you around then.”

Janus hmmed and waved as Remus stood up and walked away, to his twin who had been waiting for him off to the side.

Janus looked up to see Remy giving him a look with a raised eyebrow.

“What?”

Remy rolled his eyes.

“What do you mean what? I can’t believe you haven’t caught on yet.”

“Caught on to what?”

Remy huffed out a dramatic sigh then leaned towards him.

“Uh, that Remus has a major crush on you?”

Janus blinked.

“What?”

Remy gave him a ‘really?’ look.

“Uh yeah. C’mon girl, it is soo~ obvious. That boy has had it bad for you for a while.”

“Wha- why do you say that? He has been the same crazy Remus he always is.”

“Uh huh…tell me, has he been asking to hang out with you more since you first became friends?”

“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure it’s normal for a friendship to increase.”

“Oh my gosh, okay, let me put it this way, has he asked to spend time with you, just the two of you, more?”

“…yes.”

“Mhm~.”

“But, that alone can’t mean that he likes me!”

“Gurl, there are so many signs, like it ain’t even funny. I am pretty sure he’s been flirting with you for years.”

“Wha- what do you mean?”

“I am not going to point out every single time he has flirted with you, it’ s too much. I think part of you knows anyways. How much has he made an innuendo directed at you?”

“But that’s just Remus being Remus.”

“Uhuh, and has he said those towards anyone else?”

Janus paused, as he tried to recall if he had. None came to mind.

“You’re realizing it, aren’t you?”

Janus opened his mouth, but found he didn’t know what to say.

“Well?”

Janus looked back at him.

“Well what?”

“Well, what are you going to do about it?”

“What do you mean what am I going to do about it? Why do I have to?”

“Seriously? Okay, if you care about him, which you haven’t actually said, but I know you stopped denying forever ago, you need to be real with him on how you feel towards him, whatever way that may be, cause with the rate he’s going, he is going to ask you out directly sooner rather than later.”

Janus pursed his lips. He would have to think about this.

Luckily, Remy didn’t push him any more after Janus came to the realization about Remus liking him. After all, they did actually have to study, and Remy was surprisingly focused with him.

Yet, Janus found he couldn’t stop thinking about what Remy said. How did he feel about Remus?

* He found he was thinking of Remus more lately since that conversation with Remy.

“Hey hey, sexy scales!”

Janus actually jumped next time Remus talked to him. Remus paused, still smiling, but brows furrowed some in confusion.

“Er, you good? I didn’t expect to startle you.”

Neither had Janus. Yet somehow, thinking about what Remy said made him feel all the more awkward around Remus. He looked to see the direction Remus' eyes went as they looked at each other, and had trouble looking Remus in the eye. He cleared his throat and awkwardly laughed,

“Eheh, yeah. I was just, you know, in school mode. Barely breaking from studying for those tests, lowers my reaction expectations or something.”

Oh gosh, had he ever sounded awkward? What happened to his usual suave way of speaking!?

Remus still looked at him in puzzlement, not seeming convinced.

“Okaay…you must really need a break then.” And he came closer, like he usually did, because Remus had never seemed to have a sense of a personal bubble. A fact which Janus was way more aware of now.

Janus cleared his throat again, and shifted awkwardly.

“Uh well, maybe, but we’re about to go to class so now’s clearly not the time. See you later!” and he sped off. Janus felt utterly mortified at that interaction.

What the heck was his deal? Remus was just being Remus. Why did he act like that when nothing had changed? Or had they? Janus was usually not self-conscious around Remus. His ridiculousness made it hard to be. That made Janus feel even sillier. He just, didn’t know how to be around Remus at that point. Flustered for no reason, he felt silly.

For some reason, the Slytherins and Gryffindor’s always shared some classes. So seeing Remus was unavoidable. If Remy was in class with him, Remus usually partnered with his brother Roman and sat right by them.

Janus walked in and quickly sat in his seat. Remy gave him a look. Janus started to get his stuff, as though he was merely focused.

Yet he felt very aware of when Remus entered the room, unsurprisingly late, and sat behind him. How close was he? Was he watching him? Is that why he sits behind them? It made Janus feel awkward now in a way that he hadn’t before.

During a pause from notes to do an activity, Remy leaned over.

“Dude, what’s your deal?”

“W-what do you mean?” Janus asked, then mumbled a curse to himself at the stutter. Remy sighed.

“Is this about what I said the other day?” Remy whispered. Janus didn’t answer. Remy sighed. Thankfully, Remy let it go then so they got back to their school work.

Many of Janus’ encounters with Remus went like that interaction in the hallway.

The innuendos and flirty remarks affected Janus in a way they hadn’t before. He tried to put it off.

Had Janus ever thought much about dating or sexuality related things before? Apparently not, at least not when there was a real possibility that someone wanted to be with him. Of course after thinking about what Remy told him, Janus did think he saw the signs that Remus liked him. Also, lately Remus had seemed more nervous with his suggestive comments and whenever he was soft with Janus. Which Janus didn’t get, they’d been friends for years. Janus was used to his comments, or at least he had been. There had also been a few times where Remus had asked to do something just the two of them, which Janus usually fled from.

He felt like he was going crazy. What was going on with him? Remy definitely noticed. It would be embarrassing if Remus had too, although Janus wouldn’t be too surprised at this point. Part of him wanted to hide away cause he felt like he was ridiculous. Unfortunately, you couldn’t get much privacy at Hogwarts. So, he kept using the studying excuse, which likely wouldn’t work forever.

“You shouldn’t keep running from him, you know.” Remy finally said at one point.

Janus groaned and put his pillow over his burning face.

“Kill me,” He muffled. Remy sighed and sat on the edge of Janus’ bed.

“I am pretty sure you two can get through this,” Remy said hesitantly. Janus didn’t know how to respond. He felt like his brain short circuited with this topic of conversation. How can they ever talk about this when Janus felt like he was gonna combust on the mere topic of Remus desiring him? He didn’t know how to get out of this mortifying state and felt completely pathetic. Stupid mush.

Before they could continue, both of them jumped at a sound. A frazzled prefect came rushing in.

“That Gryffindor gremlin is causing a ruckus just outside the entrance to our dorming!”

One would think that description would be vague enough to not know who was being referenced, but the action itself was enough to clue that it was Remus. Remy gave him a curious look, before he went with the others out of the dorms. Janus joined them, coughing at whatever smoky substance was set off from the prank, and looking around for Remus as it was a bit hard to see. It didn’t take long. He felt a hand grab his wrist, pull him back, and then his body felt a strange warping sensation before suddenly he landed in a completely different place.

He stumbled, and held a hand to his mouth as he felt nausea. A pair of arms steadied him.

“Easy. Heh, sorry. I kinda forgot some people don’t respond well to apparating,” Remus said sheepishly.

Janus carefully turned to face him.

“I didn’t even know you were learning apparition.”

Remus simply shrugged in response and smiled.

“It sounded fun.”

“And, I thought you couldn’t apparate from within Hogwarts?”

“Ah, well, those who were taking the class got special permission so we could practice.”

Janus narrowed his eyes, unsure of that explanation, but left it be for now.

“What are you doing anyways?”

“Ah, I noticed you hadn’t left your dorm all day, and I thought you could use a study break.”

Janus smiled at him.

“That’s actually rather sweet of you.”

Remus looked away, “So you don’t mind?”

“Nah, I was feeling done for the day anyways. What did you have in mind?”

Remus’ typical unhinged smile made it back onto his face.

“Well~, I am always up for crime, causing mischief, or we could just hangout. At Hogsmeade, or hide out somewhere away from everyone, with food swiped from the kitchen, at our own personal picnic. Just the two of us.” Remus looked him in the eyes as he said that. Janus felt his breath catch, and quickly glance away.

“I am always a fan of crime and mischief, but I am good with the slightly troublesome picnic for now.”

Remus smiled brightly and started swinging their hands.

“Great! I already took us to the spot I mentioned. Lemme just swipe some food, be right back,” and he swished away.

Janus took a deep breath and sat down where he was, apparently already on a picnic blanket. The situation was starting to sink in.

Was this a date? It sure seemed like it.

He hadn’t been completely alone with Remus, away from everyone, like this before. He didn’t even know where they were. Was it just off from Hogsmeade? Somehow, the unknown was a bit thrilling as well.

He didn’t know what could happen, but thinking of being with Remus like this was already making him feel warm.

Janus didn’t want to be a sap, but he was already finding he could help it, and they hadn’t even done anything yet.

“There we go!”

Janus jolted again upon Remus’ sudden appearance. Remus gave him a confused smile before jumping into a seated position on the blanket.

“I don’t know what it is, but swiped food always tastes more thrilling,” He said with a smile. Janus smiled back. Remus immediately scooted closer.

“Yeah, I uh agree. Although I can’t say I have swiped much food.”

Remus tsked playfully.

“Well that’s disappointing. What kind of Slytherin isn’t a rule breaker?”

“Oh, I didn’t say I didn’t break rules,” Janus said with a smirk. “Plus I am almost certain we are likely breaking rules right now.”

Remus smirked back. “You know it. Isn’t it great?”

Janus laughed at that and shook his head. Then he noticed Remus scooted closer again. He inhaled at that, really hoping he wasn’t visibly blushing.

“Y-you know,” he cleared his throat. He knew they needed to just out with it. “I am curious why you decided to have my all to yourself, so far from everyone, and that we have a mere picnic. You tend to need a lot to do, with your energy. So, what exactly were you wanting to do?”

He glanced at Remus, and his breath caught again. Remus had an intense look in his eyes. He started to lean towards him.

“Perhaps, I had hoped this could be a date?” Remus said, surprisingly quietly. Janus couldn't help looking back at him, wondering how his own face looked.

“I’m sorry I didn’t ask ahead of time,”

“I-it’s ok,” Janus cut in, and then blushed. Remus paused and then smiled slowly.

“Yeah?”

Janus made a small noise and nodded. Remus leaned in closer.

“As for what we can do…let me know if you’re not ready for what I have in mind.”

Janus stuttered an exhale and nodded, “O-okay.”

Remus reached up, before touching Janus’ scales, and then looked at him.

“May I touch you here?”

Janus blinked at him.

“Yeah, but I don’t know why you would wan-“

He stopped as Remus lightly brushed his fingers against Janus’ scales. Remus fingers felt much warmer on his scaled skin. Janus felt himself involuntarily relax. It felt weird, but nice. Remus smiled at him, and then cupped Janus’ scaled cheek.

“It’s part of you, Jan. Just another beautiful feature of you.”

Janus shivered a little. “You’re gonna take this opportunity to shower me in compliments, aren’t you?”

There that endearingly crazed smile was back.

“Oh you know it.” He turned and pulled Janus forward with his own Slytherin tie until there was barely space between their faces.

“May I kiss you, Janus?”

Janus gulped, “Y-yeah,”

almost as soon as Janus had uttered the confirmation, Remus lips met his. It was a brushing of lips at first, yet each one became more.

Remus pressed forward, and starting to move his hands over Janus, cupping his face, twining his fingers in his hair, Janus sighed into the kiss, and did his best to kiss back. This was definitely his first, yet it felt so right for this to be with Remus. Their touches matching each other’s felt right. There was always Remus.

Remus had found a way of getting Janus into his lap, he felt so warm against him.

That eventually lead to him pushing Janus gently so he was laying back on the picnic blanket. Janus blushed as he was laid down. Yet it was thrilling to have Remus over him like that, and he felt him even more that way. Janus wasn’t really sure where he was headed next when they heard,

“Duke!”

Causing both of them to jump. Remus pulled his head up, while leaning over him more as though to cover up Janus.

“Yes, Professor?”

“I don’t know how you even got over here, but students are forbidden from going so far out from Hogsmeade. And who is that under you? Such levels of PDA go against school conduct as well.”

Janus groaned and put his hands over his face.

“We’re not at school though, “ Remus said. Janus could only imagine the glare Remus received from that comment.

“Look, I’m the one who brought him here, he didn’t know we would end up here. And I’m pretty sure he’s going to combust if you make me show him to you.”

“Remus,” Janus whined in a quiet high voice.

The professor huffed.

“You have ten minutes to compose yourselves and go to a proper approved location. Then I expect you both to head back to Hogwarts immediately, your recreation rights to Hogsmeade have been revoked for the day for breaking school conduct.”

“Got it, thanks professor.”

That was a swivel of a cloak as she marched off. Remus pried himself off of Janus.

“Sorry about that.” He held out a hand which Janus received in a huff. Then he helped Remus to quickly gather up the picnic and head back to where they were allowed to be.

“You didn’t have to cover for me you know.”

Remus shrugged. “Eh, it’s fine. I didn’t want to embarrass you.”

“I’m kind of surprised she let you.”

“Well, let’s just say I’m well acquainted with discipline at this school. She's probably happy I found someone.”

Janus huffed and leaned into him, as the group made it’s way back to Hogwarts, the two of them hanging back.

“Does this mean your new method of breaking the rules is going to be finding new places to sneak off to and make out?” Janus asked quietly.

Remus shot him a mischievous smile. “You know it.”

Janus rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. Honestly, it could be worse.

#dukeceitweek #sanders sides fanfiction #ts janus #dukeceit #ts remus #ts remy

23 notes · View notes

mc-i-r · 3 years

Text

He tries

Pov: Janus

Tw: major character death, angst, hint of unsymp!sides (except Remus), arguing, illusions(?), knife/stabbing mention (hypothetically), panic attack (implied), swords, all caps (screaming), language, crying, unintentioned body morphing, self deprecating thoughts, overworking, unintentional triggering of panic attack, a t o u c h of derealization(?)

Let me know if I missed anything!

Word count: 2460

A/N: hi @imma-potatoo um I know you probably don’t know me but do you remember this post? yeah I um I wrote it so yeah here it is :)

Edit: tumbled being a bitch baby and I can't get the fuckin link to work I'm so sorry D:

Janus is a complicated creature. He always has been and, presumably, always will be. But that's what humans are, aren’t they? Complicated, fickle little things. They suffer with emotions and thoughts and actions and make their way about the world like little ants trying to please their queen. But Janus has no queen, only five sides and a human to please. He’s not even a human, only a fraction of one that’s forced to live and breathe among the ants. However, no matter what he does, no matter how much he sacrifices and works and improves himself, he just can’t please them. Like I said, he’s complicated.

It’s not as if he’s the perfect person either. I mean, all humans make mistakes right? So why should he be any different? I suppose it’s because of his function, being Deceit rarely has its perks. Sure, impersonating other sides to be listened to or get his point across most likely wasn’t the most effective way to help Thomas but...who can blame him? I mean, it’s not as if he could just pop up and immediately be listened to. Hell, Logan shows up in almost every video and even he’s not listened to! But Janus still tries. And tries. And tries. And tries. And tries.

Nothing works.

Right now, he’s trying to tell them that Thomas needs to take a break. He’s been working nonstop for the past three weeks planning videos, photoshoots, costume arrangements, events, and auditions. Needless to say, they're all a bit stressed. Janus most of all.

Changing from Deceit to Self Preservation was a major change in Janus’s life. I mean, spending years being hated and feared and hidden away from others did its damage, it's part of the reason why Janus inherited the snake traits but, finally being acknowledged that he’s real and a part of Thomas just like everyone else is was....overwhelming. Granted, nothing’s really changed. He still gets ignored, pushed around, and left out but...when those two words left Thomas’s mouth… that was all he needed. All he wanted. To just be seen. To be noticed by someone other than Remus.

It only lasted for a week.

Still, he does his job. He makes sure Thomas washes his face in the morning and drinks his coffee. He makes sure he goes to sleep, takes a shower, washes his clothes and does everything else a man in his thirties does. But throwing more and more projects in the mix means Janus gets pushed to the side, left to scream from a distance that Thomas needs to take care of himself. He’s been working overtime just to make sure Thomas goes to bed, not even worried about what time as long as his head hits the pillow before the sun comes up. Sometimes, he’s been unsuccessful. But he still tries. Even now, stressed and overworked out of his mind, he tries.

He was relaxed...well, somewhat, giving his points sparingly to not push the boundaries of his newfound acceptance too soon. He added a pro here and a fact there, trying to lead them all in the right direction. So far only Patton agrees and, given recent events, that basically means everyone else is against it. Still, Janus tries.

He’s settled in between the banister and Logan, putting him unfortunately close to Virgil who is definitely not sparring on giving him his fair amount of glares. Still, Janus endures, knowing that a break will only do Thomas good. I mean, have you seen Hamilton?

But the bickering soon turns into arguing between Roman and Patton, Janus not even daring to interject. It was surprisingly intense, the newfound hatred on Romans end and the persistent pushing from Patton coming together to explode in a bout of yelling. Janus shrank back from the noise, pushing himself further into the shadows in an attempt to hide himself. It, unfortunately, didn’t work.

“Jan, tell him that he needs to take a break!” Patton pleaded, looking at Janus with eyes that held all too much emotion behind them. He wanted to help, he really did, but…

“Oh yeah, please Janus, tell us why Thomas needs a break now that he’s finally getting work done,” Roman sassed back. Janus knew Roman just wanted to prove a point. He knew that. But the intense gaze the creative side gave him made him shudder. Roman was mad at Patton, not Janus. Still, the look of pure hatred bore into Janus, pricking his skin and making his stomach drop.

He couldn’t speak. No witty quip or sarcastic remark, not even a hiss. He just froze. He felt everyone’s eyes turn to him, waiting for a response to the very simple question. Hell, Janus had been supporting it for the past hour they had been talking about it! But now, all eyes on him and tongues ready to object, he couldn’t speak.

It felt as if the room was spinning, warping and contorting around him until he couldn't tell left from right. He knew it wasn't really happening, the real world didn’t work like that, but his brain was convinced that it was. He felt his eyes go wide and he stumbled, catching himself on the banister. He tried to hide it by adjusting his hat only to be met with a concerned voice.

“Janus? Kiddo, are you okay?” Patton, sweet sweet Patton asked, dropping the fierce gaze and tone and replacing it with a gentle question. Janus swallowed and cleared his throat.

“I’m fine, Patton, thank you for your...concern” Janus trailed off, taking a breath in between his words. His eyes started to waver in and out of focus. He gasped and stumbled again, leaning in the banister to keep his weakening body up. He heard Patton shout something, presumably his name, and rush over to him.

Too close too close too close-

Janus hissed at him, shrinking away from Patton and further against the railing. Patton paused, a flash of hurt washing over his face before he took a few steps back, holding his hands up in defense. Janus hated that look, the type of look that made you want to wrap Patton in a blanket to protect him from the world. He wanted to apologize but his throat wouldn’t work, staying stubbornly quiet as the room spun.

A sharp pain bore its way through his skull, feeling as if a hot knife was being stabbed in his snake eye over and over and over again. He yelled out and grabbed his face, kneeling over as it sent a wave of pain through his body. He could feel the others rush forwards, all ready to help the now screaming side.

Get away get away ge-

“Get away!” Janus hissed out.

He felt his body glitch, his insides morphing into something inhuman. He heard a gasp and he opened his eyes to see Patton covering his mouth, Logan furrowing his brow, Virgil staring at him with wide eyes and, of course, Roman with his sword drawn. Janus reached up to his face to feel glasses. He looked down to see a cardigan wrapped around his shoulders and draped over a light blue shirt. He glanced at Patton, confirming the suspicion that he had transformed into the moral trait.

“Kiddo...what's happening?” Patton asked quietly, patiently waiting for an answer.

Janus didn’t have one.

“I don’t kn-aaAAHH!” Janus tried to speak but was interrupted by another glitch, his voice cracking and diving deeper. He kneeled over again, wrapping an arm around his stomach. He could see a blue tie hanging from his neck and, upon sitting up, he realized he had now morphed into Logan.

“Janus are...are you okay?” Logan asked, speaking quietly and for the first time all day. Janus opened his mouth to speak when he glitched again, changing into Roman quicker than he did Patton or Logan. His mind didn’t have time to register the change before he glitched again, becoming draped in a plaid-patched jacket. He heard Virgil hiss.

“Okay, what the fuck is going on?” Virgil hissed out, more panicked than angry. Janus began to sass back when he glitched again, changing back to his former self.

He took a breath and shook his head, leaning against the banister to support himself. He wrapped an arm around his stomach and felt his skin prickle, his scales shining as well as his discolored eye. He slowly looked up, locking eyes with Thomas.

“H-...help-” Janus whispered before he was cut off by a scream, his body morphing back to that of Patton.

He couldn’t control himself now, his body moving on it’s own accord while his mind begged for it to stop. He just wanted it to stop. His mouth opened and before he knew it, he was speaking.

“I don't know if I can believe whatever YOU tell me.”

The words left his mouth before he even realized what they were, his hand involuntarily slapping itself over his mouth to stop him from saying more. Patton looked at him with wide eyes, covering his mouth with his hands in shock. Janus could see...he could see the pain in his eyes. The hurt. The regret. Tears were already forming on the moral traits’ face, one or two of them rolling down his flushed cheeks.

“J-Janus? What…?” Patton whispered out, voice barely audible even though the room was silent.

“Pat, ple-” he wanted to apologize. He needed to apologize. But the words couldn’t come out. He glitched yet again, changing into the logical side once more.

“You’re nothing more than a glitch, a mistake in the mind.”

Logan froze solid, face blank in shock. Janus couldn’t blame him, having his own hurtful words thrown back at him would do that to you. Logan absentmindedly fiddled with his tie, staring blankly at Janus. Janus tried to reach out, to take a step and tell him that it was okay, that this was all just a big mistake and that he was sorry, but the fear in Logan’s eyes when he took a step forward was enough to know he should keep his distance. Perhaps, forever.

The bones in his back shifted, forcing his body to morph into the creative side. He leaned exhausted on the railing, looking up at Roman in reluctant hatred.

“We can’t trust him! Did you forget that he’s EVIL?!”

Romans surprised gaze turned into a scowl, his eyes narrowing at the unwilling imposter in the room. Who could blame him? Janus has barely even been acknowledged as a facet of Thomas’s personality, much less accepted and liked. If he starts changing and mocking other sides in front of them all is it really such a stretch that Roman would be on guard?

But Janus can’t stand it. Not anymore. He and Roman had come to somewhat of an agreement, both apologizing soon after the last video and working on building their relationship from the ground up. Things had been good as of late but this...this could ruin that completely.

So Janus cried.

He didn’t mean to, it just kind of...happened. The stress from the past few weeks mixed with whatever was going on currently and the loss of trust between him and Roman was enough to send him over the edge.

He choked out a sob, covering his mouth with his hand as he looked pleadingly to Roman. Praying, wishing for it to stop. He just wanted it to stop. Romans intense gaze softened, his sword lowering as the creative side was at a loss for words. Well...almost.

“Jan? Jan, what’s wrong?” Roman asked tentatively, scared of saying the wrong thing or making the wrong move. Jan appreciated him for that, always willing to look out for others no matter what. That's what made him an inspiration.

He reached out with his hand towards Roman, hoping that something would happen to make it go away. All he got in return was another glitch and a purple patchwork hoodie over his shoulders.

“N-no-” he tried to make it stop, to morph back to his old self and hide away forever. But his body didn’t hold him any sympathy, his mouth dripping out evil words.

“Even if he can tell the truth, that doesn’t mean he can be trusted.”

Virgil's eyes lit up in shock, his eyeshadow darkening as he backed up from the deceitful trait. He started shaking his head, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he slid down the wall. He tried to speak, his words cut off by a wave of panic.

“I-...I’m so-sorry, Jan. I-...I-” the boy in black buried his face in his hands, Roman soon rushing over to comfort him.

“I...It’s o-” Janus was cut off by a grunt as a wave of pain passed through him. “-kay. It’s okay.”

“Kiddo, are you sure?” Patton asked...scared? He was careful, speaking softly much like he did when calming Virgil down from an atta-….oh.

Oh.

Janus slowly looked up at him as his body morphed around him, changing back to his own skin. He didn’t feel real anymore, his face feeling too foreign to be familiar. He had no mask up anymore, all his emotions out there in the open for all to see. His eyes were cloudy, covered in a film of exhaustion and weakness. His skin was pale and flushed, his body shaking. He was absolutely pathetic.

He weakly looked over to Thomas, his body relying solely on the support of the wooden stairs behind him. He locked eyes with him, his stomach souring at the pity in his eyes. He opened his mouth, voice coming out in hoarse rasps.

“Oh, I hate this guy and his creepy...snake face!”

“Get out of here, Jack the Fibber!”

“Gah, Deceit! Leave me alone you slippery snake!”

“Well, your face ruined my day so we’ll call it even.”

“Why is he still here?”

“E V I L!”

One by one he repeated the words, his tears falling faster and his body growing weaker. He collapsed on his knees after the final word, clutching his chest as his breath grew sparse. He heaved in a final breath, looking around the room at each of the sides individually. He gasped out his final words, ones that would stick with the rest of them forever.

“I’m sorry.”

With that, he disappeared, his body falling limp to the floor. There were screams. Cries. Pleas for him to come back, for him to have a chance at being accepted. But it never worked. Day after day, year after year, nothing ever worked. Thomas would realize soon after that he had lost the ability to lie…

...and Janus with it.

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