#so deal with it or sth i'm not apologizing

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hello! (And sorry in advance for the longread). First of all, thank you for all your hard work maintaining the most ultimate fanfic collection I've ever come across and guiding all the poor lost souls like myself towards their perfect fic solution! Life's pretty hard for me rn and through your lists and recommendations I've found exactly the works that help me keep pushing. And here comes the Second: I have two requests if I may? One is for helping find two works that I've read already but lost them and cannot find them for my life (probably just skipping them somehow, I can miss things right under my nose); first is I'm almost but not 100% sure about Sherlock dealing with withdrawal and John helping him, the one detail that I remember vividly is Sherlock telling John how Lestrade saved him from an od by unexpectedly showing up when Sherlock wanted to take his life 10 days after his verbally abusive father's funeral and that's also how he and Donovan met as Greg brought her with him. The second work is about sick feverish Sherlock and John calling Lestrade to help get Sherlock in the shower so he doesn't have to go to the hospital unless it doesn't help, Sherlock also unknowingly throwing punches when feverish, one landing on John's face, and he apologized afterwards.

And the second request is maybe you know some works that feature John asking Sherlock to dance and them subsequently dancing together, publicly if possible? Not an AU (I mean as a different universe like balletlock or fantasylock or sth, canon deviations are okay, even better if it's 'Mary's a villain') and not a sad ending if possible too. It just broke my heart that Sherlock loves dancing so much and John was apparently very reluctant and ashamed of them training before the wedding, so Sherlock had to help hide that, my poor baby. Would be ideal if it was specifically John wanting to make that right but I'll gorge up on anything except for AUs and sad endings.

Sorry if I'm asking for too much and/or if this whole word sheet is difficult to read since I'm not a native speaker. I hope that for as long as you still feel up to this and have love for the fandom you'll grace us with your presence and effort, it is greatly appreciated! Best wishes and thank you again!

Hi Nonny!!!

First of all, Thank you so much for your kind words!! I am humbled that you think of my blog as an "ultimate collection of fics" hahah. That's SO sweet and makes my tummy all squidgy!! I love when y'all find comfort in my happy place! :)

I'm so sorry you're going through a rough patch right now, but I'm glad that my blog makes the days easier for you 💜🖤

And you can have as many requests as you like!! This blog relies on them!!!! I'll try my best to help you find them!!

Sadly, I don't know what fics either of the two you are searching for are (the OD / withdrawal nor the shower fic) but my Lovelies and Lurkers™ have an uncanny ability to find fics that I don't know, so hopefully they'll come through for us for either of those.

As for the Second Request, best I can do IMMEDIATELY are these lists:

Dancing (updated March 14/23)

Sexy Dancing

Evil / Not-Nice / Villain Mary

Not EXACTLY what you're looking for, but I hope that these will be a good start!!

If anyone wants to offer ANY fic for ANY of the requests for Nonny, please let us know!! I check the notes on all posts and add them to the lists! 💜🖤

Hope you're having a great day Nonny, and lots of HUGS!!!

[malhare-archive]

So lemme get this straight, BASICALLY: God created a dude who was the Best TM / his favorite / etc & but HE KNEW (☆) he was gonna "cause problems" eventually then complained & didn't do shit & asked the Now Better Brother to kick them? Now all the problems are blamed to Him & the Girl & dude who just wanted an apple from the Snake that "Knew better than to Not Complain Ever & My dad is the causer of problems"?

I wonder if predestination is involved coz if it was then.. I dunno [stares blanky into space] a lot to unpack lol

Also why did He "create" Jesus... and why did he indirectly killed him eventually- why does he create kids to just have as tools to use on us on his puppet game of life? Is it really worth it? Conditional fake love for another one? What's his deal?

Apologies if I said sth offensive I'm sayin' this to you cause [vaguely gestures]. So you are allowed to call me out 👍🏼This is just One of the "versions" I understand (?). I Could have explained it better as well- But the yuri post got me thinkin xD

You don't need to apologize at all! You honestly treat Christianity with more respect than it even deserves (/lh) and you definitely won't offend my ex-Catholic ass. Speaking of, I'm going to preface this by saying that I was raised Catholic so that's the pov through which I view the Bible, but not all sects of Christianity teach and view things the same way.

ANYWAY, right from the top - The Christian God is not a benevolent God. To Catholics, God is more of a force to be feared and obeyed than anything else. Many would disagree if you said this to their face, but the roots of institutional Catholicism are shame, guilt, and control. Sin is something that we innately desire to commit, but must have the fortitude to resist. Humans' lives on Earth are a trial, a test, a period to devote yourself to God and gain your entry into Heaven through resisting the temptation to sin.

That being said, Lucifer is the embodiment of what happens when you choose to sin and when you choose to defy God. There is no actual, textual reason for Lucifer's rebellion given in the Bible however I was taught that his greatest sins were jealousy (he is jealous of how God favors humans) and pride (he was arrogant and wanted to be on the same level as God/wanted to be independent of God). Lucifer and a host of angels loyal to him waged war on the other angels who were led by Archangel Michael, who cast them all down after defeating them.

Adam and Eve were ejected from the garden for the very same thing; They chose to directly disobey God by partaking of the forbidden fruit (fun fact, the Bible never says what fruit it is! No idea why everyone thinks it's an apple). Lucifer tempted them with the same thing that captivated him so much:

"And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die: For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as Gods, knowing good and evil." (Genesis 3:4)

Both these stories mirror the eternal struggle Catholics face: The desire to sin vs the self control to obey God.

God sending Jesus to Earth is essentially seen as his greatest gift and mercy to humanity. After Adam and Eve partook of the forbidden fruit humans became independent, self-centered, and greedy. Humanity as a whole was too thoroughly corrupted by sin to return to God and in Old Testament times sacrifices had to be given to atone for sins. So, Jesus was sent to teach the word of God and to bring people closer to God. He was sacrificed to take all of humanity's sins unto himself, absolving the human race of that darkness - "Jesus died for your sins" and all that. This is why he's called the "lamb of God", lambs being a very common sacrificial animal.

Tl;dr: Lucifer wanted to be independent so God permabanned him. God killed an aspect of himself to absolve humanity of the sin he programmed us to have in the first place 👍 if you don't do everything the clergy God tells you to, you go to Hell forever 👍👍

[katerina-thesmitten]

Hallo everyone,

I wanted to share some thoughts about Good Omens 2, I know that lot's of people have discussed it already and I'm not claiming to add anything excitingly new but... just needed to talk about it.

So after rewatching it a couple of times I realised how well written this season is. I mean don't misunderstand me I love Neil's and Terry's writing (for a long time now) so it's not a revelation just a welcome extra affirmation that we are so lucky to experience such a show.

So, E1 is setting the mood, we get to see our beloved characters in a new way of life, we get some adorable and funny scenes and we are introduced to our main "problem" for this season.

E2 and E3 apart from moving forward the plot also introduce us to a new side of Aziraphale. His connection to his morality and his choice to lie when it feels needed. More or less we learn that not everything that is good is morally right and not everything right is morally good. Aziraphale's interaction with Crowley (and vice versa) is a series of new experiences, lessons, realisations that helps both of them to develop.

E4, apart from being a pure delight to watch magician Aziraphale, is also there to emphasize the way their relationship has grown...they trust each other and they rely on each other (yeah they love each other 😍).

E5 is the calm weather before the storm... Crowley realising his feelings, following around the angel, Aziraphale being more open and spontaneous (the dance scene is permanently staying in my mind), plus we see them once again working together.

E6 well we all know what happens there... all still trying to cope with it so... no details. I'm not sure what the best explanation is for the ending. Personally I believe that Metatron wants to separate them bc they have proven to be very powerful together (he actually seems relieved when Aziraphale enters the elevator), so if it's the coffee theory or the lying theory that remains to be seen. I also believe that Aziraphale has yet a lot to understand about heaven so it's necessary for him to leave.

Although it's painful I'm glad that Crowley did take the extra step even if the timing might not be right. it will help him understand that both him and Aziraphale need to communicate better and deal with all the burden from their past.

We've also come to understand that Crowley was a really powerful angel so that might also be sth to deal with in the next season, (I refuse to believe that there won't be another season).

Well, that's not everything I've been thinking but I've already taken up much of your time.

Thank you for your patience, I apologize for my English since I'm not a native speaker and...

@neil-gaiman Thank you so much for a beautiful journey, once again

Katerina

[moonjxsung]

i saw the thing w/ copying your work and i see that i'm too late to report this user so instead of it i'll just say that you are incredibly strong <3

writing 30k work is exhausting as fuck (no matter if thats what you like to do) because you post it for lots of ppl. i am not a writer, i just read (i mean i do write but for myself). the thought of ppl seeing my works and commenting it, not always with kind words, well, yeah. i know that i am not able to post here.

and thats why i admire and adore you so much. you write 30k long fic GUYS THATS REALLY LOTS OF WORK.

whoever copied any work from here - honestly fuck you. thats so fucking not fair. if you want to translate or sth the ASK THE AUTHOR and don't be mean if the author wont agree.

last but not least - i hope you won't have to fight over your works any longer

wish you the best <3

and if you are a reader, just like me, please don't do this. let's make tumblr a safe place for every user - writer and reader.

thank you, that's all i wanted to say

ps english is not my 1st language so i hope everything's understendable and i'm sorry in advance or any mistakes.

Thank you so so so much angel, you are the sweetest 🥹🫶 those 30k words were my first fic fulfilling a request in the form of a fic and they were anxiety-inducing to put out there because I wasn’t sure about even trying my hand at requests. And the fact that it was so well-received has been a dream come true, but the theft of any of mg work is a nightmare to deal with. It just makes me want to stop writing altogether whenever it happens ☹️

But rest assured I still plan on writing for you guys as long as we can keep holding thieves accountable on here 🫶 no one deserves to have their work plagiarized and I pray it never happens again on here. Thank you for all your support always, sending you all my love and I hope you’re having the best day-night 🥹 also please don’t apologize for your English, just being able to chat with you at all is an honor in itself !! Love you 🩷🫶💖❤️

[anantaru]

YORU I'VE GOT SOME EXCITING NEWS

I was able to get a really nice guitar today + stand and case for the very sweet deal of 55€

Before I met up with the seller I was hella paranoid that it could've been like a weird creep or sumtn (it was my first time actually buying sth from a private seller on my own so I was kinda scaredy as is 🫠) so I made up some story about me having to rush off to work for a coworker's shift so I didn't have to stay too long there 💀

Turns out it was just a mom with a son who fell out of the hobby I felt so bad after lying to them they were such sweet and kind people 🥹 but at the same I didn't regret overpreparing for the worst case and telling relatives and friends where I was, better safe than sorry, stay safe y'all 🫡

Sorry for the long rant but I'm literally that excited, today went great 💙

hello love, i hope you‘re doing good 💕🫶🏻 and omg that‘s such a steal! i‘m so happy you were able to purchase it that‘s so good and honestly very rare !! also don‘t feel bad about lying since you didn‘t do it with any ill intent and as you said, overpreparing is very good and it‘s better to be safe !! 🩷 also never apologize to ranting to me about topics such as those, it brings a smile to my face and my ask box is always open to you !! 💕

[fragilelovelythings]

😅 and 🎉 for the emoji asks?

😅 What's a story or scene you've created that you're a smidge embarrassed exists?

As I generally opt for being blatantly honest, I have to say that after printing my current ongoing fic, 'Eunuch Besties' (Succession) I felt the oh-so-called cringe while reading it. Most of the fic felt pretty weird and I think it happened about my insecurities. I had never written something (prose, narrative) in English before, and my inner critic got to relish in aspects of my writing that maybe, I hadn't seen before. I know this sounds like an apology, and maybe it is to myself. I have been since July so excited about the fact of actually writing fanfics again that I omitted its quality. I mean, I had the plot for the story and I went full-board with it. So, because of that, I barely have gone back to it to reflect on its content and my writing style. I just kept writing, happily to feel ideas flowing and giving form to a story that I hadn't yet read before. I am a very enthusiastic fanfic reader, been for years, so I just vomited most of the chapters crossing my fingers and hoping for the best.

Now, I recently got a dear friend of mine, who is also a linguistic expert and an avid reader to check on it, and she said it felt like a draft. And maybe it is. Again, I am still in awe of myself for being able to write anything, considering that I wrote like a possessed in my teen years and then well, I stopped when I began my undergraduate and postgraduate studies. I am now in my thirties and decided to just do whatever I wanted in terms of my life and my artistic aspirations. 'Eunuch Besties' is now on chapter 9, and I've written 50, 724 words (wtf) aiming to end this story by chapter 10 and actually realizing I'm far from putting a pin to it.

There are scenes of course that felt odd to me, dialogues even, and the struggle to find the characters' voices and make them feel in character is something that I have felt more than once embarrassed on its outcome.

I've got two other fics (Loki) which came when I was around chapter 7 I think on 'Eunuch Besties', and those two other fics feel pretty different. Perhaps after practicing, with 'Be my once in a Lifetime' and 'Built yourself a Myth' I feel more confident about how I'm writing.

So maybe yes, I am a smidge embarrassed about my first fic, but I love it deeply because is the one that has been giving me so much happiness that I do not want to stop writing it. 🎉 What leads you to consider a fic a success?

Reflecting on what leads me to consider a fic a success, I'd say I have mixed opinions/feelings about it. On one hand, the count of hits on AO3 does tell you about how many times, probably, the story is being read. So for example, on my Lokius fic 'Be my once in a lifetime' the hit count is 5,074, and is the fic I usually receive more kudos every now and then. But, does that really make me think it's successful? I'm not sure. The same fic has 261 Kudos which, again, are the likes on A03. I get why it's a 'popular' fic and I actually wrote it during Loki's fandom at its peak. I just wanted to contribute and indulge myself from a block on my Succession' one as well as write a smutty PWP. And it worked.

Then the whole deal on comments is for me another different story. I find it hard to get comments on my 3 published fics and this does worry me about the quality of my writing. But, after reading about this insecurity from other writers, I have to remember that not every person feels confident enough to just say 'Hi! I like this fic!' and that's alright. I got a comment like that on chapter 8 from an anon daring for the first time on leaving a comment and sharing with me how much he/she/they adore my work. This fellow reader said that even RE READS my fic. So here, I do believe lies success. Engaging with a fic, with a story that becomes sth that you decide to go back at again and wait for its updates, god, I think it's when you've actually created sth others find solace/fun/distraction/happiness/entertainment in that said fic is success.

Thank you so much for asking these questions :') I loved providing answers to them.

[menalez]

I'm assuming you're a Muslim, and I truly apologize if you're not. But how do you deal with being a lesbian and not feeling any guilt or shame or even fear! I struggle alot. Same thing with viewing Islam as a religion when there's so many sexist and patriarchal things about it, but I can't let go because this is my religion.

im not the best to ask about reconciling religious beliefs with one's sexuality because i was never religious and was always skeptical of religion overall & in my case islam specifically. but ill share my process in hopes it will help & for those of u who come from more religious backgrounds, i encourage you to share your wisdoms with anon as i know my experience is not aligned with what anon needs.

so, i came out when i was 18 and i was very much afraid. i was mostly afraid not because i thought id be going to hell, because that idea didn't make much sense to me anyways, but because i was afraid of the reality of being gay (& especially a lesbian specifically) in my country. i literally felt like a wave of heat take over me and felt this weakness i can't even explain, its like i had a really high fever or sth. i knew i would lose the love & respect of many relatives and that id never be able to actually live a decent life in my country. we are so far behind in terms of gay rights, its not something people talk about yknow and theres no kind of community or orgs for us because its illegal to "promote" it in any way which means its illegal for such an org to even exist. theres no support for us.

at that time, i did look into more liberal & progressive interpretations of islam. it did help me a bit and it made me feel like i was doing something and promoting change that will maybe ultimately help gay muslims like myself. i thought maybe it would be possible to change how muslims view homosexuality bit by bit. so i looked into those things and surrounded myself with other gay muslims and would read about the interpretations from this one gay imam and id argue all the time about how qaum lut (people of lot) were actually not punished for homosexuality, that theres no actual mention of homosexuality, and that what is actually being criticised is them committing adultery (they were married men) & rape for power. i argued they werent even gay anyways and its been misconstrued for homophobic reasons.

i did this for a few years until i realised it was fruitless & theres no changing bigots, but looking at those interpretations at least did give me some kind of peace of mind that this idea of women being inferior and gay being a sin and all the other nonsense most muslims believe is at least not believed unanimously. so... idk how helpful it is but id recommend perhaps looking into that? it was part of my process & journey and maybe it'll at least bring you comfort and a peace of mind. the way ive seen religious muslims also think of it is like, it makes no sense to make gay people and then single us out for something we did not choose nor can change and just reaffirming the fact that if god does exist, then god would love gay people too. idk. good luck tho anon & i hope someone else has better input to provide

[rainbowdelicsunshine]

how are u doing? did sth good happen to u recently that youd like to mention?

I'm doing alright at the moment, hanging out at my mom's new house that she bought (and that I might even be able to move in there myself within a month or two of everything goes well)!!

So I wouldn't have to deal with my Dad blaming me for my brother's relationship with his my friend/his girlfriend/his on and off ex going south and getting in the way of us living our lives since he never wants to do anything about it cuz he wants to our house to be "The House" if you know what that entails!

But a good thing that has happened to me lately is that a week or so ago now me and my mom went to a local pizza place where we live and we both had an AWESOME time on the arcade machines (esp Mortal Kombat)!

And the day before yesterday I made myself an air fry oven turkey leg and sauteed green beans and french fried onions for a sorta late Thanksgiving Dinner (me, my mom, my brother, and his GF/Ex/friends friend had pork and chicken cutlets for actual Thanksgiving dinner at her new house)!

I apologize for the small vent at the beginning but I really really hope that this is at least a good update on my life for you!

Hope to see you here again and have an awesome evening friend o mine!!

[heartstabyuldaisuki]

Thoughts of how/why Azul views interpersonal relationships superficially

Anyone want to see how far can a Heartslabyul stan rumble about Azul?😂

A bit Spoilers for ch3, ch4, his bday card and his PE uniform story

The below is merely my perosnal interpretation🙈, which may or may not be the same as your view.

I'm not too familiar with Azul's character, some points may or may not be my misinterpretion, and I apologize in advance if that's that.😅🙈🙇‍♀️

Please proceed with these in mind,thank you😁

By superficial, I meant the way he views people interaction as 'benefit to one self and the other'.

I believe Azul had developed trust issues coz of

I)His experience of being bullied

II)His adopted dad

III)His successes

VI)Jade and Floyd

Personally, I feel all the 4 above portionally contribute to how Azul develop his twisted belief in human relation.

Here's my interpretion👇🏻

1)Bullying->trust issues

Bullying impacts a person a lot. I don't have deep knowledge about that topic, but here's something I find online.

Kids who are regularly targeted by bullies often suffer both emotionally and socially. Not only do they find it hard to make friends, but they also struggle to maintain healthy friendships.

Part of this struggle is directly related to low self-esteem. A lack of self-esteem is a direct result of the mean and hurtful things that other kids say about them. When kids are continually called "fat" or "losers," they begin to believe these things are true.

I think these descriptions really fits Azul as he genuinely believes his past self is a "Stupid,clumsy octopus", or I should say, that's what he subconsciously views himself as, therefore all the hard work for keep up his appearance is to cover up the low self-image.

They also may have a hard time trusting people, which can impact their personal relationships and their work relationships.

In which, it's true for Azul. I'll be elaborating on that later down.

Anyway,I think (1) +dangerous environment of the sea is the stem of the belief "Shouldn't place trust on others easily." Why? Because this can puts himself in disadvantage/in danger

Also, that's the point where his insecurities begins

2)trust issues->meets the eels and his adopted dad

From (2) onwards(the A,B,C,D) are probably pushing Azul's insecurities about interpersonal relationships more.

A)Merman bullying him

👇🏻

He thinks the reason is because he's an octopus/his worthlessness (self-blame/self-doubt)

👇🏻

He wants power, strong enough to make the bullies fall in a lower position than him 

(Yearns for confidence)

+

B)His mum married another man

His adopted dad is a lawyer =successful man in business

(might or might not be the exact opposite of his blood-related dad)

👇🏻

May stir thoughts like...

"Successful/Hard-working people are more worthy of rewards"

"These types of people can have their ways in being beneficial, so I should strive for that image."

👇🏻

Self-convincing with the belief

👇🏻

Probably also believe he can change himself by training

=Have more abilities

=Can be more confident

= more powerful

👇🏻

Learns about how contract works

👇🏻

Develop his UM +keep working hard in general

👇🏻

All these successes satisfy his insecurities/pride(?), and then he wants more

👇🏻

Possibly view these practical stuff (deals/benefit to one self) more valuable than develop true heart-to-heart interpersonal relationships 

C)Jade and Floyd only sticks with Azul coz he's interesting

👇🏻

While I do believe they generally care for him, these two very likely never express that in words.

 (Not like they are the types/can do fluffy stuffs in a sincere manner anyway😂)

👇🏻

Maybe Azul takes their words at face value. Plus, with how potentially dangerous these two are

👇🏻

A double-edged sword, he may think to get on their good side and uses them to his advantage 

By that, I meant Azul did sth and made the twins think he's interesting

In which kinda happened as in ch3, Jade and Floyd discovered how Azul's contracts and stuffs affect others, and their reactions.

👇🏻

The reactions of others are interesting, and amuses the eel twins

👇🏻

"interesting"=Unpredictible stuff/not boring

And if I get it right, that's what fascinating to Jade and Floyd

I can imagine Azul at first wanted nothing to do with those two but...maybe with them continuing to approach him

(Like that time they discovered the Azul's UM,deals and contracts stuff with classmates,thus develop more interest in him)

👇🏻

"Might as well use these two to my advantage, and satisfy all our wants."

By their wants, I think for each of them are...

Azul👇🏻

Success in sth+being the one in control

Jade👇🏻

Observe and enjoy how interesting things roll+Operates in the background

Floyd👇🏻

See how interesting things can go/join to the fun himself/enjoy the thrill in process

Thus, their current relationship.

(Again, it's all deals/benefits to one self and another)

D)Trust issues->himself/others

With years going on, everything may be on a nice track. Azul believes the past is all the past.

Little did he know, the insecurities still sticks with him.

(Not truly trusting in self)

That's why in ch3,when his contracts were all gone, he immediately went into a panic and thought he's reverting to who he was before.

To be honest,I think it's possible Azul could still pretend the contract are still there to fool others or blackmail to force people signing a new one with him anyway.

(Maybe he couldn’t do that to all people,still at least most at NRC. that's hella pain, but still works)

Also,as the Octavinelle dorm leader, contract or not,that's already enough power to make most students succumb, no?

Yet, he's still Panicked. The proof of his self-doubt, an evidence he doesn't trust himself as a person(?)

(Idk if I explain that clear🙈)

Like he's confident in his abilities to do this and that, but has a mindset of "The abilities/all the hard work contributes to the success achieved." instead of "I'm the person doing all that so I success."

Hopefully, he would develop and find true confidence in himself🥺😭

(Not truly trusting in others)

In Azul's PE uniform story, he thinks Jamil has other ulterior intentions to teach him when the latter only do so coz of a teacher's instructions 

Again,his mind quickly jumps to "benefits for himself/others" mode.

One last thing, I think Azul mentioned somewhere he doesn't fully trust Jade/Floyd/both and vice versa in ch4.

To conclude, beneath Azul's businessman attire, it's a mix of twisted "deal/benefits" belief, a kinda childhood trauma, and a diligent soul.

P.S.

Don't know if anyone happens to come across this and read it to the end🙈

If so, thank you so much for reading it☺🙇‍♀️

I tried my best writing this thought,feel free to express your opinions in the comments😂🙈

[ruinedsam]

27 & 30 for the Sam ask game please

27. Your take on Bobby's treatment of Sam?

Bobby fans look away

I can admit I'm hard on Bobby compared to John, which may sound strange because if you consider their treatment of Sam in terms of the effect it has on Sam, John clearly did more long-term damage. But, bear with me, I have good reasons - I actually did some soul searching recently because I was puzzled about my widely different responses to Bobby and John. The key difference, for me, is that John loves Sam and Bobby doesn't. I can forgive mistreating Sam (to some degree), but i can't forgive not loving Sam.

Bobby may talk about loving the boys, but from the very beginning he treated Sam differently. I don't see any actual love for Sam in his behavior, I just see him loving Dean and being vaguely fond of Sam because they're a package deal: He barely reacts when Sam dies in AHBL yet when Dean sells his soul, he's almost crying. In Born Under a Bad Sign, when Sam had to live through a possession and gives him a smile, Bobby only gives him a suspocious look. Of course there's his role in locking Sam in the panic room and forcing him in a dangerous detox. In 5x20 he said some bs about Sam having evil inside of him and told Sam he's too weak to fight Lucifer. He didn't notice somethin was off with Sam when he was soulless - or he did and didn't care enough to do sth about it. He wanted Dean to have a life outside of hunting but shamed Sam for trying to do so. Come on, when he was dying he reminisced about a day he spent alone with Dean. That man didn't love Sam. So yeah, I don't care for him at all.

30. Which character(s) deserve(s) to rot in hell for crimes against Sam?

Who doesn't? Everyone and their mother hurts Sam and no one within the story gives a shit💀

I'd say Dean and Cas deserve a temporary stay in hell because they both deliberately hurt Sam but were never held accountable in any way, shape or form. They barely even acknowledged it, let alone apologized or tried to atone for it. They need some time in hell to realize and atone for their sins. I'd let them out after a while tho 🙂

Wait I forgot - Charlie deserves some helltime too for thanking Dean for saving the world while making a shitty comment to Sam about his dead girlfriend, along with everyone who fails to appreciate Sam. Which is basically everyone tbh. Well, they made their own bed, now they gotta lie in it :)

Lucifer, Toni Bevell and all bmol except Mick Davies, Chuck, Azazel, the demon inside Brady, Gadreel, Metatron, Tim & Reggie and Lillith on the other hand deserve to suffer for eternity :)

Ask Game Here

[cirilee]

Ok so. I have a bunch of posts still in my drafts and I really shouldn't start anything new but like...

The prime family. OP, Ratch and Bee. Dealing with Bee getting wounded by Megs and losing his voice. Hcs and things to consider/explore:

- Pretty sure ripping one's vocal chords out is rather deadly. Hc Megs was just idk, choking him or sth. Or forced some serious irritant down his throat like idk poison or sth. And maybe leaving the damaged chords would be super dangerous so either KO or later Ratch have to surgically remove them. Both versions interesting to explore ('cons didn't help? they're ALL as cruel and heartless as Megs! 'cons helped? no, they just made things worse, it was a malpractice for sure!)

- OP and Ratch dealing differently with the situation. Both are shaken that Megs did that. Both incredibly worried over their son. Ratch is furious, can't sit in one place and has violent outbursts, ready to rip Megs to shreds and not even trying to hide how furious he is. OP is just... miserable. Trying to figure out what to do. Trying to still be a good leader while bearing the burden of being a father who's son got attacked like this by a person that was once upon a time dear to him. Was it possible to play it out differently? Was it possible somehow end the war? Was he too soft, was he to strict? Is it all his fault?

- Either of the dads falling asleep by Bee's side because of course they do.

- OP and Ratch arguing. Ratch doesn't say it outright and wouldn't even think such things but it kinda sounds like he blames OP for being too soft and for letting that happen. He sure hopes OP doesn't have any bits of hope left regarding Megs. I mean how would anyone dare to have any hope left for that demon? OP just wants to know why. Why did Megs do it, what made him do it. But to Ratch he's not angry enough about it. Why isn't he furious as well, doesn't he care?! Both feel alone in this.

- Omg imagine OP feeling like shit and just flopping to bed after a rough day. And Ratch feeling so bad about this 'cuz this is the guy he loves, he shouldn't let him feel so miserable! And he feels so bad for calling him too soft. Maybe OP is too soft but hey, that's one of the reasons he married him in the first place. Realizing that because of arguing he only hurt him more instead of supporting him as he should and swore to do. So when he lays down next to him he just hugs him from behind in a silent apology. He feels better when he feels how OP holds onto his hand and shifts the position a bit to make it all more comfy for them both. Handholding in bed is so underrated and we need more of it.

- And yes, OP is the little spoon. Let the big guy be the little spoon. And when he's the big spoon Ratch is his teddy bear for hugging.

- Bee slowly waking up confused and with weird feeling in his throat. Takes him a moment to realize why his dads are so worried. The reality sinking in. Both dads doing the best they can to help him through

- How did Bee end up getting captured anyway? Does he blame himself?

- How does the sign language learning go for him and others? Does he prefer to just text others at first?

- Does Bee have a scar on his throat? If so, is he self conscious about it? Maybe his parents and Smokes are the only ones he feels comfortable around with it uncovered?

- Oh right, how did Bee and Smokey first meet anyway? How did relationship develop till they realized "omg he's so cute and he's my favouritest person to hang out with, I think I'm in love"?

I GAVE YOU SO MUCH TO UNPACK HERE I'M SO SORRY SKDLJFHDKJS

AAAAHHHH oh WOW ok i will try to unpack all of that!!!

@the-shy-lonely-weirdo correct me if it went differently, but we talked about Bee getting captured because he got lured in by someone like prowl. someone who would want for something bad to happen to the prime's son, something that would finally escalate that "cold war" they were having into an actual war, because "damnit, let's eliminate those cons already, prime was being too soft, organising all those unnecessary peace talks, sitting at the same table as those monsters!"

and then megatron truly shows them what a monster he's become and its awful and op just shuts down, because he cannot lose face even when a tragedy like that strikes them. and ratchet knows it, knows why op can't afford to lock himself in a room with their son and just cry his heart out, but it still hurts ratchet to see op rallying their troops as if nothing happened, while bee is still hooked up to several life saving appliances and can't even leave his bed >m<

> there is a scar on bee, but he's not self conscious about it. it doesn't take long for wheeljack and ratchet to invent several gadgets that help him hook into their communication devices - and autobot training includes learning a rudimentary sign language for silent missions, so its not like he's completely cut off from everyone. its just .. different, especially for a former loudmouth like him :c

> Smokey and Bee meet as soon as they find Smoke's pod where he was stored by alpha trion with one of the relics inside him (ugh, gotta find a better way to phrase that haahahah) - at first they butt heads a lot. Smoke wants to kick some decepticon ass and hates how "soft" everyone's being (that argument again, hA! X'D). Bee thinks smoke is a pompous brat without any tact X'D

[kodzuken-chan]

Hi can you write a romantic HeadCanon for sanji...and the scenario is they had a big fight... because sanji and jealous and then his partner will come and say sorry to him🙏🙏🙏🙏

A/N: Hi dear~ hohohoho the request is pretty facinating but I'm so sorry I couldn't think of anything that makes Sanji Jealous~👀

Its my personal opinion but I do think that he isn't the type to get jealous from random things when it comes to his s/o bcs he trusts her, and i believe that if sth did bother him he would rather talk about it with her~ idk hehehe

I made it as short scenario of the S/O getting jealous instead but with your plot in the form of a headcanon if you don't mind~

Here you go ,I hope you like it~

---------------

Sanji being romantic after having a Fight with his S/O bcs of her jealousy Headcanons

You woke up today and sat on your bed in the girls room...in such a bad mood

It was one of those day that you didn't know why was your mood so bad and why are you even pissed...its just happened like this.

So you dragged yourself from the bed, got changed and went out on the deck, Everyone was preoccupied with their tasks on docking the ship and it seems that you just arrived at a new island.

You weren't in the mood to explore it today so you were ready to state your excuse of not wanting to leave Sunny

Until your smiley boyfriend approched you, and for sure even if your mood was at its worst condition but you couldn't keep that poker face infront of him and smiled .

" Come on my dear (Y/N)-chwan~ Let's go and have a walk ~" he said as he offered his hand

You looked at him for few seconds and then answered, " Mmmm..I'm sorry sweetie but I don't feel like going out today...you can go and have fun without me"

Oh boy , this little Mochi frowned immediately when you said that and started Scaning you looking for the cause of your discomfort, " Are you alright sweetheart? Does it hurt anywhere? "

But you shook your head telling him that you just don't feeling like leaving the ship today, " Then my lady, please excuse me, i will get the supplies quickly and come back to you, I won't take long alright?" He said as he caressed your cheeks witg his thumb and then planting a soft kiss on it.

Soon Sanji left, and so were Luffy, Usopp , Chopper, Nami and Franky left, leaving you , Robin, Zoro and Brook on the ship

Eventually you went back to the girls room and just sat there staring at the wall blankly drowning in your bad mood

However Sanji never left your mind, and you thought that maybe if you went with him your mood could have changed to better, so you decided to get off Sunny and follow your blonde cook boyfie

On the other side, here was Sanji, roaming from a shop to another with few bags in his hands until he stopped on his tracks next to a lipstick shop

You crossed his mind immediately as he remembered how much you loved applying lipsticks, so he stood by the giant Lipstick booth, scanned the different lipstick colour shades looking for sth that will suit you elgencay until he saw the offer sign that says:

" Buy one Lipstick and get the other for Free from your choice, hmmmm this is a great deal...I can get my lovely (Y/N)-chwan her favorite colours~!!" He thought smiling to himself

The lady on the counter approched him, respectfully offered him her assistance and this how he got you two beautiful lipsticks

Now he was waiting for the lady to give him the change, so he took one more look on the tints this time, maybe he will buy you sth else if it caught his attention

And Here you are walking past the shops looking for your Sanji until you spotted him at the Lipstick store

As Sanji was too focused on the tints placed on the display infront of him, one of the those lady staffs mistakenly opened on of those Tints for another customer aggressively making some huge drops of it scattered over Sanji's cheeks

The staff lady panicked and got flustered, she kept apologizing for what she did, and since she was too flustered to the point she started wipping Sanji's cheeks with her bare fingers and hand instead of bringing tissues

" No no its alright Miss don't worry~!" Sanji Sweetly ressured her, knowing that she didn't do it on purpose.

And Of course ,this when you were actually standing by the shop door and saw everything. Him smiling and she's touching his cheeks

Oh crap! this is a really bad timing, you went after him hoping that your mood will change to better, but oh god it turned worse.

Sanji noticed you by the shop door, he noticed your hand clenching into a fist as you and he knew it! He knew you got it all wrong

You were angry and pissed, you turned your back to him and aggressively walked back, Sanji immediately ran behind you and grabbed your wrist to stop you

" Sweetheart wait! Its not what you think let me explain I-" said Sanji with trembled voice

" No Sanji....No i don't want to hear anything, There is nothing to be explained, I saw everything! Leave me!!" You shouted at Sanji leaving him behind

Sanji stood there in shock, this the first time that you shouted on him like that, bcs usually when there are misunderstandings, you always end up sloving it peacefully with a nice calm adult like talk.

He ran behind you again but slowly stopped when he noticed that you're heading to Sunny, he pressed on his nose bridge with his fingers and sighed, " I don't think she will listen to me now...."

You stormed to Sunny with teary eyes and slammed the girls room door with your utmost power, sliding behind it sobbing

Zoro, Brook and Robin were shocked yet worried, they shared some stares with each other wondering what could have happened to you.

Sanji waited for 15 minutes before he came back to Sunny too, but he was rather upset than angry...its as if his soul left his body , he looked sooo down

Again, the three noticed Sanji who reached Sunny, glanced at the girls room door sadly ,quietly walked to the kitchen and closed the door behind him calmly

And of course, Mommy Robin immediately figured out what happened so she got up and decided to ask Sanji about what happened to here his side of the story since he looks much calmer now to talk than you

She knocked on the kitchen door and got the green light to do so, she sat on the counter infront of Sanji

"Sanji... May ask if sth happned between you and (Y/N)?" She asked politely, and Sanji just nodded, " Would you mind telling me~?" She questioned once again

So Sanji Started explaining everything, how you got it all wrong and he doesn't know what to do, Robin stood up and taped his shoulders with her iconic ressuring smile

" Don't worry, I will talk to her, thank you for telling me~", And so Robin walked out to the girls room, she knocked on the door and announced that its her, then she came in.

She found you under the sheets, wrapping yourself like a sandwich in your blanket, she sat on the edge of the bed and called you softly, you poked out your tear stained face, eyes are swollen and you answer her with a horase voice.

She smiled and stroked your hair, " (Y/N) dear....Why are crying...? Is there something bothering you?" She asked as if she was clueless.

But soon, tears filled your swollen eyes as you told her what happened and what have you seen, " I-...I-...*sniff* " you mangaed to say but she pulled you into a hug

" Its going to be alright dear....what you have seen is not what you think, you misunderstood the situation" she said as you looked up at her now confused, "W-what do you mean Robin?" You asked.

She explained to you everything and how it was just an accident, the girl didn't mean anything at all and so was Sanji, and you just misunderstood the whole thing

Now the guilt is killing you, oh poor Sanji you shouted at him when he didn't do anything, you pushed him back not giving him a chance to explain himself, letting all of your bad assumptions and thoughts under your bad mood control

You couldn't stand it no, You have to go amd apologize, yes you were afraid that there is a possibility of him breaking up with you or turning cold, but no you have to apologize immediately its your fault, its all bcs of your stupid bad mood

You thanked Robin and rushed out of the girls room running towards the kitchen, slamming the door open you ran towards Sanji and pulled him into a tight hug

" I'm sorry!!! I'm really Sorry Sanji oh my god I did a horrible thing!! I- I i didn't give you the chance to explain yourself I-I'm sorry bcs i raised my voice on you I-I " you couldn't continue bcs you were cut by your sobs

Sanji froze in his place, but immediately pulled you into his embrace asking you to stop apologizing and its alright , he felt your body trembling, " Its Alright (Y/N)-chan my sweetheart, it alright!! You understood the situation and that's enough please stop crying " he gently rubbed your back and stroked your hair to calm you down

Once you did he sat next to and kissed your swollen eyes, " I'm sorry Bcs i made you feel this way...I-" you hugged him once again making him quiet, " No... don't... don't say sorry, you did nothing wrong" you said burying yourself even more in his chest

He moved you gently apart and cupped your cheek, he slowly leaned closer and brushed his lips over yours in a passionate kiss then he parted, taking out a small pinkish bag as he handed it to you, "here, this is a small gift for you"

Once you saw the tiny Lipsticks inside the bag , your eyes began to water again, he was there for you, he went there to buy you these and you had the guts to let out your anger on him and yet assuming worng things. You muttered a soft thank you, ready to let your tears out

" Come on Let's try this color, they told me its good for an unforgettable kiss, lets see how does it look on you", he smirked, as he started applying it on your lips, "Perfect~! You look stunning my beautiful angle"

" Now lets see how does it taste" he licked his lips as he leaned closer once again, pulling you now into a deeper kiss

You swear that your heart would leap out of your ribcage any second at this rate. He parted gaze not leaving yours, his lips were stained with your lipstick, "Mmm..its taste good..But I 'm not sure if it was the taste of the Lipstick, your lips or both...I guess I'm not going to leave you until i figure it out, I hope you don't have any plans my lady" he smirked as he brushes his thumb over his bottom lip

You were too dazed to even reply, so he considered it as an approval, he carried you in a bridal style to the kitchen couch and was now on the top of you, soon his hungry lips founded yours, and so, you were trapped in between him and the couch for the next few hours~💙

[fractallogic]

every time I think about what I have to do to make myself feel less stressed, the scream from Immigrant Song goes off in my head (but it's sharper than what's actually in the song, so it really sucks)

I'm going to try to real quick just list out the stuff I have to do to wrangle my brain

roughly in order of priority:

guest lecture (+slides) for the psylx class on monday (there will be no pre-class time to prep for it; has to be done tonight)

pay (and file) taxes ASAP

call photographer for wedding album ASAP (not actually urgent but it's been on my list since like. november.)

read and make slides for two papers for tuesday

post grades for discussion and reading comments

read article summaries, post grades

respond to the person's email from like two weeks ago at this point about the project we were supposed to start last term

send email to CW folks to apologize profusely and say I can't do next year (not like they would hire me back after this year!!! gotta beat 'em to the punch!!!)

that's what I wanted to get done this weekend because like. I am so behind on it, except for the class stuff, which I would like to continue NOT being behind on. feels like a reasonable amount (when you consider I have three students). like enough to have an actual weekend for part of it. but now... lolfuck.

and of course there was more stuff I wanted to do both late last week when I was dealing with migraines/sludge brain (which I'm now realizing is pre-migraine brain) and this weekend

review code for stats consult meeting on monday

maybe reschedule the meeting now that we're apparently not meeting for that paper until at least friday?

read and make slides for thursday's papers

finish the (2-3, I think) Q1 contracts???? at least?????

read the two articles for the other paper

put all of the refs for section 2 as zotero refs

see when RA is able to get responses collated so I can do basic stats on them

continue collating the edits that need to be done on the done chapters

finish up sections of ch 8 on language nests and nicaraguan sign

get the other edition of the experiment programmed and set up to run online with student participants

give lab UGs first crack at being paid to record stimuli for the next-next iteration

if we still need speakers, RA can draft a flyer

read something out of any of the books I have out from the library because theoretically they're useful for my research

do a little bit of digging on how to do a word-learning study with school-age kids

re-pot the aloe and orchid and a bunch of spider plant offshoots

other self-care things like doing yoga and taking really long walks outside since it's finally nice out this weekend

it's hard to do things when your executive functioning is shot and you're overwhelmed by "okay I have to ... OPEN??? documents???? god" because apparently right now that is too many steps. like I've realized I literally have to list out the things I need to open to do something right now BEFORE I EVEN OPEN THEM. like "oh shoot I forgot I said I would give a guest lecture on my current projects next week, I need to write some slides for that" means stress about when is the class, where is the class, did I say I'd do it monday or wednesday, how do I want to talk about what I'm doing, what did I give them as an example to read, etc etc etc, which means I need to very purposefully think through how I would find out the answers to all those questions, and by the time I've done that, well, there goes a bunch of brainpower. fewer things can get done today. guess I'm sacrificing the grocery store until tomorrow or sth.

i mean it all comes down to how I'm an overambitious idiot who was like oh fuck yeah I'll take on all these projects and do these things because it's gOoD fOr My CV and/or possible non-ac aspirations, and then I go oh no this was a terrible mistake when all of them are due at the same fucking time (and the stuff I had to put off is now coming back around to also have to be done at the same time). I really do need to have that punch card of "say no to nine things and you can have an ice cream" I saw on twitter yesterday. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[lifeofkaze]

So sorry for missing this <3 I do apologize

Can I please have 6, 13, 16 and 37?

First off - thank you. The ask, your friendship, you being you. You know why 💛💛💛

Now let's get cracking.

6. Share one of your weaknesses. You mean apart from major impostor syndrome every time I read something by someone else? Haha, joking (not joking), something that I find I edit out of my drafts a lot is all the things I overdo. I tend to over describe, over explain, and over dramatise things to a point it annoys me, so I usually tone down things a lot and try to give the reader space to think for themselves.

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across? Not every single sentence has to be a masterpiece. Some are just there to get your story along and that is NORMAL and FINE. Also, semicolons.

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be? Had you asked be before I started Rockstar straight off the back of AoB, I'd have said Lizion. Now, I'm actually quite happy to have Ava's fic Larger Than Life to work on to give me a little break from my og OTP. Not because I don't love them as much anymore (I do!!) but because I feel like I'm getting repetitive. But if I *had* to choose, I'd probs still go for them.

37. Talk about your current wips. Uhm, okay, let's see! (edit: fml this is a lot)

When Stars Ignite: The Rockstar AU that at first seemed to have no ending and is now pretty much coming to an end (in writing at least, you're still faaaar off). Kinda makes me sad.

Crimson Tide, Deep Blue Sea: The Avarlie Pirate AU is completely written and unedited as of now, and will probably be a space filler between my next big WIP and the end of Rockstar.

An Art of Balance Bonus Chapters: Basically says it all, doesn't it? These are all the little episodes which didn't fit into either AoB or SfB and are happening in between. Will be published the same way as the Pirates AU, as space fillers.

A Search for Balance: The sequel to AoB will take us to Lizzie's and Orion's first years as professional Quidditch players and how they deal with all that comes with it.

A Source of Balance: The final part of the Balance series will deal with Lizzie and her great-grandmother Selene, the expectations of society through the centuries and how to overcome the trauma of a freaking war.

Larger Than Life: Ava's fic is the darkest thing I've ever planned and probably will ever plan. It will take us back to the reason why Ava would love to kill Charlie on sight and why she's changed so drastically. It's going to be dark, heavy and twisted, and will take every last shred of writing ability that I have.

Warcraft AU: A play of thought on how A) Lizzie would have been had she been the cursebreaker MC and all the bad stuff had happened to her and B) set in the world of my favourite game, feat. the wonderful Samantha @samshogwarts

Witcher AU: Not much to say about it, probably sth shorter along the lines of the Pirates AU, and probably with Ava and Charlie, too. Looking into the conflict between what you want to do and feel is right, and what you're obliged to do.

Assassin AU: My favourite concept, and the least developed AND the most complicated. Basically the idea is a crossover between the Assassin's Creed games and a Reincarnation/Soulmate AU with Lizion. To be really honest, I just want to put them into all the historic settings without making a WIP for every single one of them, haha.

Misc: I have loads of unrelated shorts flying around. There's the Murtriona smut for @kc-and-oc and a some Murphy fluff as well, there's the story of how Selene and Ethel rescued Alan the Ferret and of course, all the October prompts.

[ilhoonftw]

the ifans constantly bringing up runie and ot7... do they not get that it only harms the group since most kmels/gp hate him? many don't even allow any mention of him ffs. i fully love & support runie, but he's not gonna rejoin at this point, do ifans not realize it would completely screw over the others? did they forget what happened with cs and the7 fingers?? if you search him in korean articles about that are still among the first to pop up! the naivety and delusion are so frustrating to me :/

i wouldnt say most kmelos hate him, as a lot of btob fanedit channels still post videos with him... but yea, it's annoying. he left btob to avoid them getting dragged into his mess?? so why ppl bring it up all the time now. i miss ot7 but i'm not gonna delude myself runie will be fully back one day... he smoked weed to deal with all the bs he had to deal with as an idol... i wouldnt be surprised if in his 70 apology letters submitted to court he said sth like 'i deceived the public, set a bad example so i'm gonna retire and live a normie life now'. maybe in 10 years time he will be back as a producer, using different name so ppl wont figure it out that easy

[practicalmagicintuitions]

As far as I understand Ben has supported JH by liking an IG post. *eyreoll to anyone thinking world of it*. Honestly, if that 2013 movie and not cancelling aquintance/friend/FWBs at the rate of internet warriors is all there's against him, I feel like fanning him more. :D I'm getting curious WHY some people are so offended by him? I wonder if it has sth to do with him being somewhat protected, possibly spiritually inclined? Curious case :D

I start with the end.

I am sure he is protected spiritually. And not just a little bit. I cannot describe but I don’t feel I want to try again read on him. Beybe on JH and her love life and maybe that way I can see BB a little but I am not sure about this.

I think people made a big deal about that like because he usually likes her private, fun pictures not the business ones as an Anon said to me. So liking this one should mean something. I guess. And that’s where people are jumping on conclusions.

I think people are more offended by JH then the movie but I think it’s because JH is the present (and who knows, maybe the future) while that movie almost 10 years ago. And it was tasteless and a very bad casting choice, without a doubt. I only can apply to Ben what I said about NV. I absolutely could explain her past picture with being young and stupid without her non apology in DM. Because that was the present and showed she hasn’t grown a bit and doesn’t understand what’s wrong with the picture.

Same with Ben. Maybe he needed the money back then, and felt he cannot decline the role etc. It is still eye rolling, but this thing with JH is the present. And if he now at age 40 thinks that show is a good idea… then Huston we have a problem.

But maybe he just liked it without read the article. Which is equally stupid