#so he never influenced me and by god is the rest of my family so different from him

[nexus-nebulae]

it's kinda funny how similar to my grandpa i am considering my birthday was three days after his

[camilyscove]

TO RISK IT ALL . RAFE CAMERON ⍟

trope : friends to lovers .

genre : angst .

summary : you’re ready to risk your friendship with the pogues, and the freedom of your life if it means being with rafe .

WARNING (S) : some dark content .

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO risk it all?

it means to be willing to throw everything away, for one sole purpose. and what exactly was yours?

rafe.

it always had been. ever since you were five-years old, new to the island and best friends with sarah cameron, his little sister. you looked up to him, and anyone else would’ve said he was a bad influence, but he was different at that time.

he was responsible, super mature for an eight-year old. you liked how he seemed so sophisticated, so eager to speak to the adults.

you soon realized when you were older that, he did it so his father would maybe take in the fact that he was worthy of his attention and time. not just sarah. he was enough, too. he could be grown-up, too. he could. if ward fucking cameron just gave him a chance, he could.

you wished he did.

maybe now, rafe wouldn’t be a psychotic, out-of-control murderer.

maybe.

you stood frozen in place, shock overwhelming you as you stared at the cold, dead body of sheriff peterkin. you tried to look away, but you couldn’t. her eyes were drained of life, her face pale. her lips were cracked, and you desperately prayed to God that you’d see her chest move in an inhale of a much-needed breath.

she didn’t breathe.

she never would again. she’d never be able to continue living as the good person she was, never be able to spend time with her family, never, never, never.

it hurt.

her uniform was covered in the dark red substance that you tried to convince yourself wasn’t blood.

“get y/n out of here! go!” you heard a voice say. it was faint, and you felt like you weren’t really there. like it was all a dream and you were going to wake up any second now. but you didn’t. instead, someone gripped your arm tightly and dragged you into the truck.

“i got it all under control, baby. okay?”

you looked up, and the ringing in your ears came to an abrupt stop. your dazed, teary eyes cleared, and you stared at rafe.

this wasn’t the man you loved.

was it?

“okay? you understand that?”

when you continued to stay silent, the horrified look on your face bound to haunt rafe for the rest of his life, he slammed his hand against the seat, right next to your head. “you fucking understand?”

you flinched, nodding quickly as you tried to swallow the bile coming up your throat.

“i— i had to protect my dad.” he pointed at himself, his lip quivering. he backed up and sped out of there, flying down the road. “she was gonna shoot him. she— she was gonna—” he cut himself off with a huff.

“i had to take care of business okay?” he kept looking back and forth at you and the road, and you feared that if he didn’t calm down, he would crash the car with both of you in it.

“okay,” you croaked out, your voice a tiny whisper; shaky and uncertain. rafe must’ve detected that, because his breathing got heavier, the engraged look in his eyes intensifying.

“look at me.” when you didn’t answer, he let out a breathy laugh. he was slowly cracking. “y/n, fucking look at me.”

you slowly turned to meet his eyes you once couldn’t imagine not loving. you were afraid. afraid he was going to hurt you, afraid for sheriff peterkin and how her life was just ended in one bullet.

“i had to do it.”

“stop,” you said, shaking you head as you hit your lip, your tears making your vision blurry.

“you know that, y/n! i’m not crazy!”

“shut up! shut the fuck up!” rafe tried to speak, but you kept shaking your head violently. “rafe, shut up! shut the hell up! shut up shut up shut up!” you screamed, chocked sobs racking through your body. you held your head in your hands, shaking like a wet dog.

rafe turned to you, yelling as you screamed at him to drive. he looked back at the road to see he had drifted onto the other side of the pavement, a car about to slam into the truck. he quickly swerved, throwing you into the door. “don’t— don’t fucking do that, y/n. you want me to crash the car?”

“i told you to stop!”

“you trying to kill us?”

“you murdered her, rafe! you shot her, no fucking hesitation!” you sobbed, trying to muffle your whimpers as you cried. rafe shook his head vigorously, slamming on the brakes.

he looked at you, taking in your current state. your hair was disheveled, tears streaming down your face and your hand shaking from where you covered your mouth. he realized that he, rafe cameron, was the reason of your pain and fear. he made it his life goal to keep you safe, protect you from harm, and yet he had just traumatized you. he sighed, throwing his head back.

“baby, c’mon,” he mumbled, reaching his hand out to you. you moved away from him, afraid that maybe what he did to sheriff peterkin, he’d do to you.

“i’m not gonna hurt you, okay? i love you.”

when you didn’t respond, he felt a panic rise up inside of him. you always said ‘i love you, too.’ your silence felt like a knife to the back, like you were refusing to accept the fact that a killer like rafe, loved an innocent witness like you.

“y/n? i said i love you. i love you so—“

“let me out.”

his eyebrows furrowed together. “what?”

“let me out. if you love me so much, let me the hell out of this damn car,” you whispered, your voice wavering. you felt pathetic, ashamed of yourself that even if you didn’t say it back, you still felt it. the love you had for him was unconditional.

“you know i can’t do that, baby.”

“why? because you don’t trust me?”

“i— y/n, you just saw me shoot the fucking sheriff. you stood there and watched. i can’t—“

you shook your head, averting your eyes away from his.

“fine, rafe. just drive the fucking car. “

“you have to tell me you’re not going to tell anyone i did it.”

you quieted, and rafe pinched the bridge of his nose. “did you not hear me? tell— no, promise me you’re going to tell nobody you were there.”

“i promise, rafe.”

for the rest of the ride, it was silent except for rafe’s distracted, incoherent mumbles. when you finally got to Tannyhill, you didn’t know what to do.

not even an hour later, cops showed up at the house. they questioned rafe, rose, and then you.

you glanced over at rafe’s looming figure in the doorway, how he stared at you so intently.

“you were there?”

you nodded slowly, shifting your gaze to the police officer sitting in front of you. “and you saw who did it?”

“yes.”

“who did it, sweetheart?” the other cop spoke up, sitting down next to the other, not taking their eyes off of you.

you didn’t speak for a moment or two, your eyes constantly landing back on rafe.

you knew.

you knew it was rafe who shot peterkin. who mercilessly killed her, no doubts in his mind as he did so.

and yet all you could get out was,

“john b.”

and the worst part wasn’t even the fact that he was your best friend, but that you didn’t know if you were lying because you loved rafe, or if you were afraid of him.

you convinced yourself it was because you loved him.

but in the back of your mind, the one lingering thought would be that you were scared he’d shoot a bullet right through you, just as he had done to the sheriff.

you had doubts.

‘what would have happened if you said it was rafe?’ you’d think to yourself on the regular

would he have still loved you, just as you had still loved him after witnessing him murder someone?

or would his love turn into hatred? would he come for you next?

you’d never know.

because your love for him was too strong to tell the truth.

[irb-pascalito-99]

Worship You

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Word Count: 5.7 k

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Summary: After she experiences a death in the family, Joel tries to give his girl some space to grieve. When she tells him all she wants is him, he makes sure to show her how much he cares about her.

Warnings: grief, mentions of death, mentions of driving under the influence, smut, unprotected p in v, creampie

A/N: This is an excerpt from chapter fourteen of my fic Always an Angel, Never a God. To read more of this pairing please visit a03.

By the time we finally get to Joel’s house, the sun is beginning to rise. The girls are asleep upstairs when we get in, but Tommy and Maria wait in the living room for us.

When I enter the room Tommy stands up, walks across the room, and gives me a hug. I stand with my arms at my side as he holds me for a minute.

“I’m so sorry,” Tommy says as he squeezes me. I blink a couple times, my tired eyes hurting from fighting the sleep that I need.

When Tommy pulls away he holds my shoulders and analyzes me for a moment. I can feel all the eyes in the room on me, waiting for some sort of reaction. I take a step away from Tommy so he will let go of me.

“Anyone hungry?” I ask. I walk past Maria and Tommy into the kitchen, looking at the contents of Joel’s fridge for something to cook. “I could really use some dinner, but I guess at this point maybe breakfast is the better call…”

The others follow after me as I pull the eggs out of the fridge and grab some bread, cinnamon, and sugar out of the pantry. Joel says my name softly to get my attention while I search the cabinets for some bowls.

“French toast sounds good to me, anyone else want some?” I glance over at the others. Tommy looks confused while Maria and Joel share a similar look of concern. “No?”

Joel says my name again. I pull my attention away from him, grabbing an egg and cracking it into one of the bowls I pulled out. I feel Joel walk up behind me. He grabs the second egg out of my hand before I can add it to the bowl with the other. He holds my hand still as he says my name again.

“You need to sleep,” he says softly.

“But I’m making french toast,” I say. I keep my eyes on the counter.

“I’ll make you french toast when you wake up,” Joel responds.

“It’s already tomorrow though,” I retort. “I have work, Ellie has school. There’s no time to sleep.”

“Work and school can wait for another day. They’ll understand.” I let Joel pull me away from the kitchen, but he doesn’t get farther than the living room. Maria and Tommy stand back and watch our conversation.

“I don’t have anywhere to sleep,” I say, continuing to argue.

I can feel how heavy my eyes are, but I’m not ready to sleep. Sleep cements everything that just happened into reality. I have too much to do, and I don’t want to think of what dreams may bring me.

“You can sleep in my room, I’ll stay on the couch until you guys are ready to go home.” I shake my head. I can’t take Joel’s room from him, even though I know he won’t let me refuse.

“I don’t have anything to wear.”

“I’ll give you some of my clothes to sleep in, and we can stop by your house when you wake up for new clothes.” I try to wrack my brain for other excuses.

“There’s too much else to do. I have to get my car from the school. I have to tell Bill and Frank. I have to call Ellie’s school. I have to call the funeral home. I have to write the obituary.” I count each item on my fingers, staring at the floor as I think of more items to add. Joel places a finger under my chin and tilts my head up to look at him.

“Sleep first, we’ll figure out the rest later.” He says with a look in his eyes telling me there’s no room for argument. I sigh and let him direct me toward the stairs. He keeps his hand pressed lightly between my shoulder blades as he walks behind me up the stairs.

I can barely hear the muttered voices of Maria and Tommy downstairs as Joel drags me away. When we get to his room he walks me inside and lets go of me as he closes the door. He turns away to start rifling through his drawers for something I can wear to sleep in.

I hadn’t thought about the fact that I didn’t have clothes at his house before. We may be together in some sense, but every time I’ve spent the night before we slept with our naked bodies tangled in the sheets. It feels more intimate to be wearing his clothes to bed.

I start to take my clothes off while his back is still turned to me, figuring it’s nothing he hasn’t seen before. He immediately averts his eyes when he turns around to see me standing in only my underwear. I feel a rush of rejection at the movement. He’s never looked away before. Joel clears his throat and holds the shirt and sweatpants out to me.

“Here you go, might be a little bit but it should do.” He keeps his eyes on the floor, even when I take the clothes from his hand.

He doesn’t look in my direction until I’ve pulled both the shirt and sweatpants over my body. It feels absurd that only 24 hours ago I had my mouth wrapped around his cock while he slept and now he can’t even look at me while I change. I can’t tell if it hurts more or if I’m angry that he's treating me like I'm delicate.

“I’ll be downstairs,” Joel says motioning his head to the door. “You get some sleep.”

He walks to the doorway while I stand in the middle of the room watching him. What just happened?

“Joel,” I call after him when he opens the door to leave. He turns his head in my direction. “Thanks for the clothes.”

“You’re welcome,” he says and leaves the room.

—

We spent the first full day after my father’s death at Joel’s house. Despite my attempts to keep things normal, my friends are constantly watching me as though I’m seconds away from falling apart. I know it stems from a place of concern, but it only sets me more on edge. My every move is being observed and analyzed. Everyone is walking around me like they’re walking on eggshells. I don’t know how to convince them I’m fine without them thinking I’m in denial.

Ellie still doesn’t want to go home yet, so Joel offered to let us stay at his house at least until after the funeral. Maria comes by in the mornings and doesn’t leave until after we all go to bed. Joel sleeps on the couch. I haven’t been alone with him since he handed me his clothes to sleep in the morning we came back from the hospital.

When Joel offered to let me sleep in his room, I thought he would make his way into the bed after the others had fallen asleep. After the awkwardness of when he handed me his clothes, I thought maybe he just wanted to give me some space to actually sleep for a bit, or maybe he was concerned about others perceiving the relationship we’ve attempted to keep quiet. I held out hope that maybe come night time when everyone left I’d feel the warmth of his body next to mine again. I stayed awake for hours that night, just in case, but he never came. It’s been a couple days since then, and still nothing.

Today I have to do a couple of errands to ensure things are ready for the funeral tomorrow, the first of which is picking up clothes from the house. Maria stopped by the house a couple of days ago to pick up clothes for Ellie and I to where while we stay at Joel’s, but I haven’t been back since I left with Joel to pick up Ellie and Sarah from their trip.

Maria parks the car in the driveway alongside mine and, upon my insistence, waits outside for me while I go in. On top of the lingering stares, and the constant pressure of being surrounded by people, between Maria and Joel I have not been allowed to drive at all in the last several days. They went so far as to pick up my car from the school parking lot while I was asleep that first morning. They brought it back here after and hid the keys.

When I go inside the house it seems exactly the same as it always does. Mine and Ellie’s things are strewn about the various rooms. I’ll have to make sure to come back and clean before we have the wake here tomorrow. Sunlight streams through the open blinds, sending beams of light across the hardwood floors. I feel like I’m disturbing things in a way, like our home has been preserved in a world before the news and my presence forces the grief upon the space.

I move slowly up the stairs, taking in the tranquility of my surroundings. I don’t have to watch myself here, I can just be. I go to Ellie’s room first, delicately opening the drawers to her dresser. I thumb through various shirts until I find the black sweater she wore to our mother’s funeral.

I run my fingers over the soft cotton of the yarn. I remember her tears that day, the way she refused to look at me for weeks after the accident. I remember asap the fights we had in the months I first moved back. She used to scream at me and remind me that I’m not her mother.

We’ve made so much progress since then. It’s been hard to get the relationship to where it is now, but I can’t help but wonder if we’re headed back to that kind of relationship with the passing of our dad. She’s been so quiet since his passing, it’s hard to read where she’s at. I do my best to push the thought out of my head as I grab the black slacks that finish her outfit and move on to grab mine.

I keep my funeral dress in the back of my closet. A simple black piece with short sleeves, it used to be a dress I would wear regularly. I can’t stand to look at it now, the memory of my mother’s loss dripping off of its fabric. I made sure to save it for the next one though. I grab a small bag from my closet and throw Ellie’s clothes, along with my dress and a pair of opaque tights and black heels, inside.

I glance at my bed from the doorway before I leave. Joel took the time to make it before we went to pick up the girls that afternoon. I stood back and watched him after he declared I wasn’t doing it right. His eyebrows pinched together in concentration as he tucked the corners in neatly. I close my eyes and sigh as I move on.

The last of my father’s things are hidden in the far corner of the closet in the art studio. We kept his nicest suit in a garment bag there, anticipating the need for exactly this, the outfit he will wear to his own funeral. Because the room was originally the master bedroom, the closet is large and I’ve put a lot of things inside to store. Which means I have to walk past stacks of art, both mine and my mother’s, to get to the bag I’m looking for.

The large canvas Joel and I painted last weekend rests by the door among my stack of Joel paintings. My eyes linger on its bright colors as I pass. It feels silly to be so insecure after only days of little romantic interaction with him. It’s not like he’s gone, or even like he’s ignoring me. I see him everyday. I talk to him every day. He shows me he cares every day. However, I can’t help but play the moment with the clothes over in my mind again. I remind myself of his absence in the bed each night. I know there’s a possibility he’s just trying to maintain our secret, but I can’t help wondering if he sees me as weak now. What if that spark is gone?

I tear my eyes away from the painting and grab what I need. Then I turn out the lights and head back down the stairs. When I walk outside with the two bags in my hands. Maria rushes to my side to grab one of the bags when I pause to lock the door again. I ignore the way my stomach clenches in frustration. She just wants to help, but I can’t help feeling like everyone is treating me as though I’m fragile.

We put the bags in the back seat of her car. I don’t look at her as I get in the passenger seat, eyes peering at my car in the driveway next to hers. A lump forms in my throat as I continue to fight against my anger. They won’t even let me drive my own car.

“You good?” Maria asks as she gets in beside me. Her eyes scan my face while I adjust my seat belt.

“Yeah, let’s go.” I reply, keeping my eyes on the front windshield. Maria looks over me once more before putting on her own seatbelt and pulling out of the driveway.

Despite my arguments against it, Maria does go into the funeral home with me. She follows me awkwardly through the building, observing my every movement. She stays quiet, but always just a step behind, while the funeral director asks me questions and we pick out options for the service.

I wasn’t very present with the planning for my mother’s funeral. Bill and Frank took over most of that for me, claiming I needed to focus my energy on Ellie. It was a reprieve I gladly accepted then, but one I refuse now. It’s nice to have something to do, to have a distraction amidst it all.

A good number of things had already been decided beforehand since his health had been declining for so long. The last steps are really just finalizing the details. Who will be performing the service? Where? Which coffin did we want to use? What will he wear for the viewing? Working out the details has given me a chance for some normalcy in my life while everyone attempts to get me to step back. Even now, when we drop off the clothes my father is to wear at the viewing tomorrow. I’m acutely aware of Maria’s wandering stare beside me.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” She asks, her hands toying with the edges of the garment bag I’ve placed on the counter. I drum my fingers across the counter while we wait for the funeral director to come get the clothes so we can be on our way.

It’s just the two of us in the empty showroom up front. The funeral director went to the backroom for a moment to put the file of our selections away. She offered to bring me back there as well, to give me a chance to view the body before tomorrow. I declined. I don’t want to see him, not now and not at the viewing tomorrow. I just want this to be over. My refusal just seemed to set Maria more on edge.

“I’m fine,” I respond. I keep my attention on the door to the back room.

“It’s okay if you’re not…” Maria pushes. My fingers tighten on the edge of the counter. I take a deep breath and try to keep the bitterness out of my voice when I speak again.

“I said I’m fine okay?” There’s some movement through the window in the door to the bathroom as the funeral director makes her way back to us. “I know he died, but he’s been gone for a while. This doesn’t change anything. If anything, it’s for the best actually.”

Maria and I both go silent when the director comes back out to collect the rest of our items. Maria’s eyes don’t leave the back of my head as the director and I discuss the last few details before the funeral tomorrow. I try to ignore the way her eyes burn into me as I talk.

I walk quickly when we leave, Maria trailing behind me with the car keys in her hand. I wait at the passenger door of her locked car in the parking lot while she catches up with me.

“What do you mean it’s for the best?” Maria asks when she gets to the car. She doesn’t unlock the doors. I sigh and stare up at the sky.

“Maria…” I huff, but she isn’t letting go.

“What do you mean it’s for the best?” She asks again.

I debate on taking off and walking instead. Despite the fact it’s still early February, the weather is extremely nice. There’s a slight chill to the air but with the sun it should be warm enough to walk. That is, if I knew Maria wouldn’t follow me down the road in her car.

“I mean, even if he had by some miracle lived, he would have gone to prison,” I say. Maria and I stare at each other over the hood of the car. She looks concerned, but doesn't judge as I continue. “He decided to drive drunk and he killed two people, now he’s dead. It really is the best possible outcome for him. His little angel will clean up all the pieces for him. The rest of us just go on living and he never has to face the consequences of his actions.”

The weight of what I’ve said lingers in the air. It sounds callous, said out loud. I’m not even sure if that’s the full extent of what I’m feeling right now, but it’s the simplest version to explain. Mourning him doesn’t feel right, so I won’t. I settle on the anger instead, partially because it’s so overwhelming in the face of everything else, and partially because I don’t want to deal with the rest of my grief.

“He’s still your dad,” Maria says quietly. I bite my lip and look away. I know she’s right, but I can’t think of it that way.

“Maria, just drop it.” I plead quietly. She exhales and unlocks the door. I immediately open it and get inside.

—

Joel already has dinner prepared when we get home from our errands. Everyone sits down to eat together, but we maintain an awkward silence through the whole meal. Maria’s eyes keep glancing over at me as I shovel potatoes in my mouth and keep my eyes on the table. Tommy watches the friction between us from his seat beside Maria. He looks as though he wants to say something, but has no idea how to bring it up.

Ellie sits next to Sarah, quietly playing with her food. She hasn’t eaten much lately, but she takes bites from time to time so there’s something fueling her. Joel and I sit on opposite ends of the table. He watches everyone closely, noting the tension in the air as he cuts a piece of his pork chop.

“Is there anything you need help with for tomorrow?” Joel asks, his eyes on me. I look up at him, his expression soft as he offers his help.

“No,” I reply, trying to keep any emotion out of my voice.

“How was-“ Joel tries to ask but I cut him off.

“It was fine. I’m fine.” It comes out harsher than I meant it to.

I can see Joel and Maria exchange a glance in my periphery, which makes the anger turn in my stomach again. I take another bite of my food and get up to clear my plate. I rinse the dish and leave it in the sink before heading upstairs without speaking to the others.

A couple of hours after we all go our separate ways I hear the quiet sound of the doorknob turning and then a gentle click as it latches behind whoever entered the room. I don’t turn to see who it is. Moments later, the mattress sinks under the weight of another body as someone lays down next to me.

“You asleep?” Joel whispers. His breath fans against my shoulder. I nearly sob at the sound of his voice.

“No,” I whisper back. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his chest.

I close my eyes as I feel his face bury into my hair. He presses soft kisses to the back of my head. His hands rub gently up and down my arms. I inhale the scent of vanilla and wood I’ve come to associate with Joel’s presence.

“I really am fine you know,” I murmur. He kisses my hair again.

“I know,” he whispers back. I have a feeling he doesn’t fully believe me, or maybe he does but doesn’t expect it to last. Either way I don’t attempt to convince him any further.

I retreat into him, allowing his gentle caresses to pull out the most vulnerable sides of me. It’s exhausting trying to keep up the balancing act, being sad enough that my friends don’t think I’m psychotic while not being so sad that they think I’m drowning in grief. It has felt like I’m putting on a show instead of simply existing ever since my father passed. I’m too tired now, and Joel’s warmth is too comforting to keep up the facade.

“I’ve missed you,” I say into the dark room. Joel’s fingers brush against my arm again.

“I’ve been here,” he says. I shake my head.

“Not like this.” I murmur. Joel’s hand moves up my arm to pull the hair out of my face. He kisses the skin under my ear.

I turn my body around in the bed to face him. His hair falls in messy curls around his face. He’s wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants. He maintains a soft expression on his face, but I notice a hesitancy in him. I softly press my lips against the patch in his beard.

“I don’t want to push you.” Joel murmurs as I move my lips to his. I kiss him softly, our noses brushing against each other. “I don’t want it to be like how it was when Ellie was in the hospital. That wasn’t fair to you.”

I don’t understand what he means by ‘it wasn’t fair to me’. I wanted to be with him at that time just as much as he wanted to be with me. I didn’t feel like he pushed me to do anything, why would he?

“I know you have a lot on your mind right now,” Joel continues. “I don’t want you to think I expect anything. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything you don’t want to. That’s not what this is for me.”

“I want you,” I mumble against his lips. I kiss him again. My lips are firmer against his this time as I swipe my tongue against his bottom lip. “Please, I want you. I’m not weak or broken. I can drive my own car and make my own decisions. I want you.”

I try to be patient, to let him lead, but I wrap my hand around the thick muscles of his arm anyway. Going from an entire weekend of constant intimacy with Joel to nearly a week without touching him has made me hungry for his attention. His hands spread across my back, holding me delicately as he allows me to take what I need.

“You have me,” He responds while resting his forehead against mine.

“I want more of you. I need more.” I’m feeling desperate now. It’s not enough to be beside Joel, to feel his body wrapped around mine. One of his hands leaves my back and travels down to my bare thigh.

I’m only wearing panties and the oversized t-shirt he let me borrow to sleep in on the first night here. When he looks down at my clothing it’s as though he just now realized I’m wearing it. He grips my thigh harder, eyes darkening with lust when he pulls me in for another kiss.

His tongue slides into my mouth as I pull at the fabric of the shirt he is wearing, fighting to get him closer despite his entire body being pressed tightly against mine. He breaks the kiss only to allow me the space to pull the shirt over his head and then begin to kiss my neck softly.

Joel takes his time with all of it, his fingers delicately sliding under my shirt to glide against my bare skin. I twitch when his thumbs brush my nipples.

“Joel,” I whine. I push my hips against him, his hardening length making contact with my core.

He growls at the feeling, his hands squeezing me harder. He climbs on top of me, finally pulling my panties down my legs. I whine and attempt to grind against him but Joel presses my hips back down to the bed.

“Patience baby, let me do this for you.” I lose myself in his eyes, his hand slowly snaking between my thighs.

There’s something different about the way he touches me tonight. Each brush of his hand is deliberate. Just the slightest movement sends sparks across my skin. He doesn’t break eye contact with me as he runs his finger through my folds. I push my head back a little, my lips parting though I’m careful to keep my eyes on his.

There’s a deeper connection between us this time around. His eyes communicate with mine wordlessly as he begins to rub circles against my bundle of nerves. He puts all his energy into showing me the words that fail him. It makes me squirm, not just from the pleasure he’s providing me but from the emotions involved in all of it. It’s too much to handle, too much to feel right now.

I move my hand down and pull him out of his underwear, hoping to pull some of his attention off of me. He hisses through his teeth when I grip his cock. I twist my wrist as I move my hand slowly up and down his shaft. His hips chase my hand despite the way his hand grips my wrist to get me to stop.

“Enough,” he growls, squeezing my wrist as I pump him again.

“Then fuck me already,” I whisper back. He pulls my hand off of him and pushes his boxers the rest of the way down.

I spread my legs further apart so he can nestle in between them. He rests against me, rubbing his swollen head through my folds as it leaks pre-come. I whine as he runs his length over where I need him most, but doesn’t push inside.

“Joel,” I plead. I push my hips up, the tip of him breaching my hole. He shivers as I pull him in, not moving from where he rests against me.

“Okay, okay sweetheart.” He keeps one hand on his cock as the other grabs my leg and hitches it around his waist. I have to bite my lip to keep from calling out as he pushes inside. My eyes flutter shut, but his fingers squeeze my leg and he pauses his movement. “Oh no you don’t. Keep your eyes on me darlin’.”

I force my eyes open again to make contact with his. He continues in one long, slow, motion until his hips are flush with mine. I expect him to immediately drive into me with the intense passion he normally does, but when I’m completely full of him he freezes again.

He drops his head to my shoulder and I huff in frustration as I wait for him to move. I can feel every ridge and vein of him as I pulse around his length, my wetness dripping around him. The house is silent aside from our hushed breaths. I’m desperate for some sort of motion, but he does not grant it to me.

I start to move instead, pressing my hips up and down the best I can while stuck between his body and the mattress. I go fast, settling for short bursts as I desperately try to get enough friction to build the pressure in my core again.

Joel pulls back slightly to give me more room, but it’s not enough. None of it is enough. He watches me through hooded eyes while I desperately attempt to set a good pace.

“Baby,” Joel murmurs. I feel something vaguely simmering inside me, but it’s nothing like what Joel normally provides. He mutters my name and grabs my hips, pressing them back to the mattress. I throw my head back on the pillow as he stills my movements. “Not like this, not tonight.”

He pulls out of me and kneels back on the bed, looking over my form carefully. I adjust my body on the bed, self conscious from his observing eyes.

“As much as I love this on you,” Joel says, tugging at the shirt that covers me. “I need to see all of you.”

He pulls his shirt over my head and throws it on the floor. I am bare to him now, his eyes roving over me not in lust but in worship. He looks over my body but stares into my soul. His hands skim my form delicately before he positions himself over me again and presses a delicate kiss to my lips.

I watch closely as his lips trail down my entire body. He kisses softly at my skin as though he’s trying to memorize how my skin feels pressed against his lips. He kisses down my neck, over my shoulders, across my chest. My stomach tenses as he kisses further down my body. I jolt when he lightly presses against my core, not in a sexual way like he has before but gentle and loving. He moves to my thighs next and down my legs, then back up again until he reaches my hips once more.

“You’re perfect,” he whispers to me and lines himself back up with my center. I pull my arms around his neck, my eyes staring into his as I await his next move.

He cages me in with his body, wrapping my legs around his waist while his arms rest on either side of my head, holding his upper body above me. He pushes back inside me with a languid thrust and sets his pace.

I moan against him, finally getting the reprieve I need. His hands grip the sheets by my head while he watches my face contort in pleasure. I pull lightly at the ends of his hair, my toes curling as I gasp. I start to lose myself in the feeling of him, allowing the warmth of his body to float me away to some other place.

His body melts into mine. I’m no longer aware of where he ends and I begin. He doesn’t retreat fully, not wanting to leave my body long enough to do so. He thrusts slow and deep, each one knocking the breath out of me. We share the air between us, our breaths mingling in soft pants as he cages me in. The world fades away until all I feel is him. All I see is him. All I know is him.

Sex with Joel has always been great, but this is on another level. The word sex can’t even encapsulate what is happening right now between us. This time it’s not about finding release, or the pleasure that builds in my stomach. This time it’s about the way I can feel the sweat on his skin and each pulse of his member inside me. It doesn’t take long for him to bring me back to the precipice of my orgasm.

I feel tears well in my eyes as I clench around him. It’s everything I needed and too much at the same time. I thought this would provide me a distraction from my grief. Instead Joel holds me like he’s trying to prove how much he truly sees me, trying to prove he’s here to help me hold the burden.

I’ve never felt this vulnerable. It scares me that he doesn’t look away. If anything he seems to hold me closer. The hand that rests by my head moves closer to my face, his thumb brushing the tear on my cheek away. He moves his thumb out of the way to press a kiss to my tear stained cheek.

“I’m gonna-“ he says hoarsely, his lips ghosting my cheek.

“Me too,” I reply. It feels like my entire being is about to explode, and despite how overwhelming the experience already is I need to know what it feels like to be one with him. I desperately want to feel every last moment of this. I don’t want it to end. “Do it inside, please.”

He looks at me with wide eyes, a silent question of ‘Are you sure?’ passing between us. He knows I’m on the pill, but we’ve always been extra careful. We have enough going on with Ellie and Sarah that we don't need to risk any other surprises. Right now, nothing else matters but having all of him.

I nod my head, giving him a final approval. We keep our eyes on each other as he groans and I feel his warmth begin to release inside me. I let go as well. His body wraps tighter around me as I pulse around him. He pushes deeper while ribbons of his seed spread inside me. We kiss passionately, our lips pressed hard against each other as both of us struggle to stay quiet with the pleasure coursing through our bodies.

Once the shockwaves begin to subside, and Joel’s twitching frame subsides into one of heavy pants, he drops his forehead to mine. He holds me close while he rolls us onto our sides, keeping one of my legs hooked around his waist so he doesn’t slip out. I fall asleep with him still inside me, his body intertwined with mine in every way.

To read more visit a03

[xoxoluka]

You comfortable with writing about reader having a semi mild belly kink towards schlatt? I just wanna feed him and take care of my tsundere teddy bear between my girlbossing times 🥰🥰💕

Only if you’re comfy ofc! ^^

yes of course! i’ve got a perfect idea for this!

"ᴛʜᴇ ᴋᴇʏ ᴛᴏ ᴀ ᴍᴀɴ'ꜱ ʜᴇᴀʀᴛ ɪꜱ ᴛʜʀᴏᴜɢʜ ʜɪꜱ ꜱᴛᴏᴍᴀᴄʜ"

jschlatt x fem!reader

summary: just cooking for him, like all the time. but he absolutely loves it.

warnings: fluff, reader is possibly an influencer or streamer or something

a/n: im cooking the best i can chat its past midnight (ps i don't mind the time that you send these! i'll still see them <3)

good god, it's freezing outside. you think to yourself as you reenter your shared apartment. the warmth you're met with inside allows you to shrug off your wet, rained-on jacket and hang it up on the hook, then slip off your shoes after. two sets of paws patter towards you, jambo and [REDACTED] greeting you happily at the door by rubbing up against your legs.

"hi, my babies," you coo to them, but your thoughts are interrupted by a string of profanities ringing through the walls. Jay must be streaming tonight. might as well make something warm for dinner.

you nod and travel to the kitchen, clearing a bit of counter space and pulling out the cutting board. jambo and [REDACTED] follow close behind, and sit next to the kitchen radiator as they watch you get ready to cook.

you figure you have at least two hours, if not more, until Jay is done streaming, so that should be enough to cook a warm dinner. you first pull out chicken, and put it in a pan for the oven. as the oven preheats, you get out your pot and get chicken broth out of the cabinet to bring it to a boil.

you cut up vegetables, including carrots and celery, as well as some chopped parsley. you put it all into the pot of broth, and when the chicken is done, you cut it up into cubes and toss it in as well. it smells amazing, and you add a tiny bit of onion and minced garlic into the mixture.

overall, it took about an hour and a half to cook up, which was enough time for your boyfriend to stalk his way out of his office to greet you in the kitchen.

"what'cha cookin', toots?" he asks, startling you as he wraps his arms around your midsection and rests his head on your shoulder.

"chicken soup, my mom's recipe," you giggle and rest your head on top of his as you stir the soup.

"smells fuckin' delicious," he says, standing up straight and giving you a kiss on the cheek before walking over to grab a water bottle out of the fridge. "i've got about an hour of stream left, that good for you?"

"yep, take your time baby, i'll be here." you turn to smile at him.

later, he meets you for dinner at the kitchen island. you plated the soup nicely, the fancy soup spoon and all.

he sits at the barstool next to you, where you waited for him.

"you didn't have to wait for me," he tells you, a tiny bit of confusion in his voice.

"i wanted to," you reply, a smile on your face. "you know i love eating dinner with you."

you ate mostly in silence for the rest of the time you sat, it was comfortable and warm, just like it always was with the two of you. as much as it didn't look like it on streams, or on the podcast, or to anyone you knew, it was always like this. the apartment was never rowdy or upbeat, the two of you and your cats lived comfortably and quietly with one another.

just like now, after dinner and the dishes that Jay so kindly helped you with, where you both laid in bed with the cats curled up between your legs. you laid on top of Schlatt, your head on his stomach and your arms around his torso, with jambo and [REDACTED] both curled up with each other between your intertwined legs.

it was like a quiet, quaint, happy little family. you wouldn't trade this for the world.

"i love you," you mumble, "..so much." you nuzzle into him further, wrapping your arms around him tighter, drifting off as you listen to his breathing.

"love you too, toots." he says, one of his hands coming down to caress the back of your head.

this was absolutely everything and anything you could ever want.

pls is this bad or what

© property of xoxoluka. do not repost.

[majorlysapphic]

After I finish my current fic, I want to write a glassheart marriage of convenience fic (either a long multichapter or interlinked one shots in a series) based on an initial miscommunication.

Now hear me out...!

(I'm so sorry for how long this post is, but I NEED to mind splurge about these two)

In this fics timeline, Wonderland had agreed to unite with the other Kingdoms to form what Auradon is today, BUT only on the condition that they get seperate terms for their union (meaning the Queen of Hearts can still rule over her Kingdom - but when it comes to political decisions, the rest of Auradon act as council).

Now we have the basics settled, let's get to Red and Chloe! The two have known of each other for pretty much all their lives. They see glances of each other as they wait for their parents to finish their political meetings and they see each other from across ballrooms. But they don't start their friendship until around eight years old.

Picture this: Red has spent the majority of her childhood in etiquette classes and tutoring sessions to prepare her for her rule over Wonderland, which means she is constantly hyperaware of her image in others minds, especially her mothers. So, when she's talking to the son of a diplomat her mother wants to get closer to, she's silently horrified when he spills his drink on her dress. It's a bad stain. A very, very obvious one that would ruin the perfect image she needs to maintain. So what little Red ends up doing in a panic is hiding under a desserts table, hoping to wait until the ball ends to slip out to her carriage inconspicuously.

But guess what? She's not the only one under that table because to her right is a princess her age, with her face covered in cupcake frosting. That's right, little Chloe is hiding from having to talk to anyone in favour of hoarding as many desserts as possible.

It's awkward at first. Red doesn't know what to do, but her worries smoothen out a little as Chloe offers her a cupcake. Because, wow, Chloe has never seen someone look so worried at a ball before. Sweet treats are the best way to fix this issue, obviously. Red hesitantly accepts Chloes offering, and she forces a smile as she listens to Chloe talk and talk for the rest of the ball.

After the event ends, Red doesn't give it too much thought, she's too busy trying her best to be an exemplar crown princess, thank you very much. But things will take a turn in her life once she's handed a letter by her mother (sent to their castle, addressed to Red, with the Charming family seal closing the envelope). A letter from one Chloe Charming, written in glitter pen and littered with stickers.

Turns out that night alone was enough to place her on Chloes radar for who she wanted to befriend in the royal circles. To say the Queen of Hearts is happy to have more influence on other royal families through Red is an understatement. So, Red is tasked with getting close to Chloe to gain more allies/political sway early on, it's for the good of their kingdom after all.

Still living under her mothers thumb, Red obeys. But what she didn't expect was to end up enjoying the other princesses company, and soon enough her and Chloe are genuine friends; writing to each other every other day, seeking each other out in balls, slipping away together to explore.

This is when Red starts to shift out of her perfect persona. To lean into the rebellion and the longing to act as herself, and when she's with Chloe, it seems a little easier. And soon enough, they have years of friendship behind them.

Now. We can't forget the fact that no matter how rebellious Red may become, the Queen of Hearts will always try to shift her back into an ideal ruler of her perfect vision. And so Red starts being brought to council meetings at fourteen. And oh my god. This is much more different than her lessons growing up, and she's terrible at her diplomatic responsibilities. But you know who seems to take to these things like a fish to water? As it turns out, Chloe is amazing at this stuff. So before and after every single meeting, Red has Chloe helping her (and soon enough, Red starts to improve her approaches).

They spend four years in this partnership, and it ends up being beneficial to both sides because the crown prince of Cinderellasburg, Chad, is no longer with his title to the throne due to the decision to marry into the Rose royal family and become King Consort to Audrey Rose. This means that Chloe is now entitled to the throne as the crown princess of Cinderellasburg.

Both girls are ecstatic, of course - they can rule side by side with their Kingdoms as allies!

But it seems that they may have gotten their hopes up. Because the Queen of Hearts has been getting more and more suspicious of other Kingdoms, and starts placing even heavier taxes on Wonderlands finite resources (causing arguments between diplomats), and just as Red is blowing out the candles of her eighteenth birthday cake, she is informed by her mother that at the next Grand Union Ball (hosted annually to celebrate the union of all kingdoms in Auradon) Wonderland intends to announce that they are going to close their borders for good.

Intensely against this, Red does everything in her power to reverse her mothers decision. But her pleads fall on deaf ears, and soon enough, she's tearfully writing to Chloe about what is to come. And Chloe... She doesn't respond.

It's a whole month before the dreaded ball and Red's letters are going unanswered, and soon enough the date arrives. The Queen of Hearts and Red arrive to the ball, with the knowledge that the announcement shall be made as a closing speech to end the night, and all Red wants to do is run away. But then Chloe finds her, whisking Red away to an isolated balcony.

Their reunion doesn't go well at first, Chloe's still panicked at the idea of losing Red for good and Red wonders why Chloe had stopped responding to her letters. But soon enough, stuttered apologies are made, and Chloe looks ready to faint with what she's about to do. Because she ends up getting down on one knee, presenting Red with a ring she had commissioned to be made exactly a month ago, and is asking Red to marry her.

Red's taken aback. She's speechless with the impulse to jump off the very balcony they're standing on. This is the kind of scenario she's dreamed up in her head. Because she's been in love with Chloe since they were fourteen, and she knows goddamn well that the girl of her dreams has never seen her as anything but platonic. Surely she would have noticed? But that doesn't change the fact that she's looking down at one of Auradons' most eligible bachelorettes, her best friend, practically pleading for her to become her wife.

But it's too good to be true. It has to be?

But before Red can say no and ask what on earth is going on, Chloe starts nervously rambling, as she is prone to do. She tries to explain her actions to the best of her abilities: she had panicked and takes full accountability that in her process to think of a solution, she shouldn't have pushed away Red. But you see, she cares for Red. So, so much. A painful amount in fact. So losing her is just out of the question, as she is simply in love with her, and has been for such a long time (but it took the thought of losing her for Chloe to properly realise it). So here she is asking for her best friends hand in marriage with the full intention of wooing her properly once they're married. Because once they're wife and wife, the Queen of Hearts can't shut the borders of Wonderland if her only heir is residing in Cinderellasburg. Chloe's parents are getting older and they plan to abdicate very soon, so with Chloe on the throne and Red as her Queen Consort (Since the Queen of Hearts is NOT planning to give up her crown anytime soon), they'd have control over improving their Kingdoms to be fair and just like they had described to each other as kids (especially given the fact that their union would prompt more peace talks and trade deals).

Too bad that when Chloe rambles, she mixes up words and sometimes doesn't phrase things the best. Because Red has fully clocked the idea that Chloe wants them to be wives in title only, and they would remain married (as friends) up until they could find a solution against her mothers desire to close off The Rabbit Hole to Wonderland.

So with a heavy heart, she accepts, and the next thing she knows she has an engagement ring on her finger and Chloe is delightedly claiming the first speech of the ball (buzzing from the fact that she thinks her and Red are on the same page about their feelings for one another). The announcement prompts a bit of chaos (especially with the Queen of Heart's fuming that her plans can no longer be put into action with this development, and with King Charming and Queen Ella absolutely gobsmacked that their daughter had not told them that she was seeing Red, let alone planning to marry her) before congratulations are given out.

~Cue a time skip, though I would obviously write a chapter dedicated to the Wedding itself, obviously~

(Now, for the rest of the fic...!)

They're newly weds and settling into their new roles as queen's, and once they get their bearings on their shared new normal, the chaos begins.

Because Red is having to internally scream every other hour, because if Chloe was a good friend to her before, then she was working overtime to be an even better wife. But she has to keep reminding herself that it's all platonic and to maintain appearances (it has to be, right?).

And even though Red has been friends with Chloe for a decade, she's still a girl who has spent her life cooped up in Wonderland. So obviously, when Chloe spares no expense spoiling her on 'dates', she's just reading too much into some strange Auradonian customs. And, obviously, when Chloe kisses her like it's the last thing she'll ever do in life, that's to keep up their appearance as happily wedded wives (and even when their trysts are purely private, it's actually method acting, because obviously they can't risk their facade being found out).

'Because how could Chloe ever want her as something more than a friend after all?'

Meanwhile, Chloe is absolutely buzzing with the fact that she gets to be with Red. Yes, their start may be unconventional, but it'll work out because it's them. Chloe and Red. Red and Chloe. They're a package deal, and she's made sure all the world knows now she has Red with her wedding band secured on her ring finger.

They're doing good, at least that's what Chloe thinks. But when they get a few months into their marriage, Red properly starts working hard to see how she can bind Wonderland to the same conditions as the rest of the Kingdoms in Auradon as she would hate to see her people ostracised from the other Kingdoms on behalf of her mother. Chloe obviously does her best to help, but on a day that they are constructing a plausible solution, she pauses in horror as Red mentions them divorcing once Wonderlands business is all settled. And the worst part? It was mentioned so causally. In the same tone Red had used to comment on the new floral arrangements in their bedroom that very morning.

'What happened? Did she do something wrong? Where did this come from?'

Chloe's mind is whirling with questions, meanwhile Red is looking at her like she's grown a second head with the reaction she's given, 'because wasn't this their original plan all along?'

...And with that, the fic continues trying to deal with them getting to the bottom of their miscommunication and *fingers crossed* properly starting to see each other, with the clear message that, yes, they are sickeningly in love and locked in for life. Thank you for reading my 1AM brain splurge! :D

[enixamyram]

Things I Hope For in Season 2:

Huskerdust - I heard Vivzie is hoping for at least 3 seasons and while I enjoy a slow burn, I also don't want them to get together at the very last minute. I want a chance to have a season of them being together before we say goodbye. So if we are gonna get 3 seasons then can they get together in season 2, please?

Velvette - She's in my top fav so I hope we get a chance to learn more about her since she's still pretty mysterious compared to the other Vees.

The Vees - I really want them to have a genuine familial and caring relationship. Someone else said it better but in general I just want them to be god awful selfish people who care only about themselves and each other and nothing and no one else.

Valentino Break Down - I'm sure you've seen that TikTok. The one with that song I can't remember the name of where Val is losing it over Angel breaking free. I want this! I want a whole song number of Val just having a massive tantrum when he realises Angel is steadily escaping him.

Flashbacks - I've heard this is apparently actually going to be a thing. I'm looking forward to whatever it is but if I was being greedy, I want flashbacks both of their human lives and of when they first ended up in hell.

Niffty Explanation - I still stand by that I both am terrified and in love with this character. But more than anything I'm curious about her so I would love to learn what her deal is!

Chaggie Date - This is kind of a filler episode idea. I have the highest of hopes that now the show has done so well, they'll give it more episodes and maybe we can get some filler type episodes. One of which should include Chaggie having a date! I don't care what whacky scenario follows, I just want to see them being cute and cuddly!

Angel's family - I really hope we see more of his family. I also hope that Molly has a chance to somehow interact with her brother. And, to be evil, I also hope that Arackniss is a bastard and we get some angst with him and Angel because I heard (no idea if it's true or just gossip) that Angel's family was mostly homophobic. I mostly want angst because I then want it to be followed by comfort from the rest of the hotel.

Fat Nuggets Origin - Either a flashback of even just Angel telling someone about how he got Fat Nuggets. I know Val gave him to Angel, but I am curious as to how it came about. Was it when Val was pretending to not be an asshole, or was it an "apology" for being a dick or what? I need to know!

More Overlords - I'd love to see more of the Overlords who didn't really get much screen time in Season 1. Like the T-Rex looking one whose name I'm not sure because I've seen multiple ones for her...

Lilith and Lucifer Reunite - Vivzie has managed to make me love this couple despite never actually seeing them together. Just the way she describes them as a corny sweet romance, I desperately want to see these two together. I want to see the corny sweet romance between them! (And you know, figure out what's going on with Lilith and answer all the questions and blah blah blah, give me the romance!)

Lucifer Vs Alastor - I love these two together. I need more of them pissing each other off. I have been spoiled with fancontent and now I need something canon.

Cherri - I want more of her in general! But I also really, really, really hope we see a softer side of her. I pretty much originally fell for her because of the Addicts music video, seeing her stand up for and look after Angel when he was at a low point. And while I still love her being the good intentioned bad influence that she was in her episode, I do want to see that side of her again.

[starsandhughes]

Penalty Box Series— Trevor Zegras Edition (Six)

23-24 Season Masterlist

previous: five

next: seven

OCTOBER 28, 2023

these have been short lately i’m so sorry

yourusername

liked by trevorzegras, leocarlssoon, and 15,688 others

yourusername welcome back to my postgame penalty box update show: MY BABY DADDY SCORED HIS FIRST GOAL OF THE SEASON EDITION!

tonight, my duckies won 7-4 against the flyers! coincidentally, the only time the ducks scored 7 goals last season was also in a 7-4 win where trevor scored and stromer assisted on it! isn't that fun? yay stats! that's my mans and my hero!

you'll notice that i put 0.5 as the penalty count, and that's because z sat for a too many men bench penalty, which don't count towards his personal minutes, but he was still in the box!

and our son! he's taking after his father with his second penalty of the season! i’m so proud of you, leo! i love you! we love criminals in the zegras-hughes family <3

i’m so proud of you guys! you're 3-0 on the roadie so far, with one more game to go! this is your season, boys! i love you!

my love, i’m so incredibly happy for you, and beyond proud! here's to the first of many! (i chugged my drink when he scored to celebrate btw so if you're currently drinking— chug! chug! chug! chug!) i love you, always, sweet boy🧡

p.s. FRANKY TANKY! MY BOY! CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR SECOND HATTY! YOU AND AUSTON PAPI MATTHEWS ARE NOW THE ONLY TWO IN THE NHL WITH TWO HATTIES! IT'S YOUR YEAR, BESTIE! I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! I LOVE YOU! MWAH!

p.s.s. coachy cro, never stop sending z in as the default criminal! it brings me immense joy!

tagged trevorzegras and leocarlssoon

view all 139 comments

trevorzegras i love that you love stats, my precious little weirdo! i wouldn't know my accomplishments without you telling me them🧡 i love you, forever

yourusername y/n "sissy" soon to be zegras-hughes: professional event planner, professional nerd, professional fiancé supporter

trevorzegras damn right

lhughes_06 JUST fiancé supporter?

jackhughes sissy, your brothers exit

colecaufield sissy, your friends exist

yourusername @/lhughes_06 @/jackhughes @.colecaufield i’m an amateur supporter of the rest of you <3

jamie.drysdale you two are bad influences on your son

yourusername YOU TAKE THAT BACK, DRYSDALE! HE CAME THIS WAY AND WE LOVE HIM!

trevorzegras we're trying our best!

leocarlssoon i take offense to this

yourusername SEE! YOU BROKE THE BABY! YOU BUMBLE FUCK BITCH!

jamie.drysdale @/yourusername okay okay i’m sorry! you're doing great! you'll be a great mom to your twins! i didn't mean it!

jackhughes @/yourusername does this mean i’m your favorite ex husband?

yourusername @/jackhughes no <3

user59 when sissy says chug, you chug!

frank_vatrano thanks, y/n/n! i love you, too! your new hat trick medals are definitely a plus

yourusername ya girl has a big brain!!

frank_vatrano she does😂

maxjones98 @/yourusername how much stuff for goodie bags and awards do you actually have on hand right now?

yourusername @/maxjones98 a lot! i have so much faith in my duckies! and my other boys!

trevorzegras @/maxjones89 her craft room has a bookshelf full of the stuff she includes with drawers labeled individually for all of us

frank_vatrano @/trevorzegras doesn't she also give bags to canucks, devils, and habs when we play them?

trevorzegras @/frank_vatrano it's a huge bookshelf

jamie.drysdale @/trevorzegras don't forget the stack of boxes to mail first goal trophies and personal record awards

trevorzegras @/frank_vatrano what he said

maxjones98 @/trevorzegras your girl is so amazingly sweet it's insane

yourusername @/maxjones98 JONESEY! YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME CRY!

user40 the ducks?? on a win streak?? somebody made a deal with a god

_quinnhughes i think z should be at -1

yourusername 2 minute penalty for being a rude head. go sit in your bathtub.

trevorzegras you heard my baby mama! go!

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras @/yourusername STOP WITH THE BABY DADDY AND MAMA

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes NO

yourusername MAKE ME

_quinnhughes oh dear god

user6 sissy and z are gonna make quinn go grey at 24😭

leocarlssoon i love you too mom😂

yourusername you're swimming so well!! you're such a good duckling!!!

leocarlssoon i try

yourusername you're succeeding!

user61 z pulled a quinn after he scored fr

colecaufield @/trevorzegras THAT'S MY MAN!

trevorzegras PLAY INSANE IN THE BRAIN!

yourusername his goal song might be by vanilla ice, but my mans is not vanilla

colecaufield @/yourusername why? just why?

jackhughes MY EYES

lhughes_06 AHHHH

trevorzegras @/yourusername ;)

_quinnhughes @/yourusername MINORS! THERE COULD BE MINORS READING THIS!

jamie.drysdale this is why i moved

yourusername @/jamie.drysdale stfu no it's not

colecaufield @/jamie.drysdale you were a tough soldier

user75 sissy gives no fucks about a digital footprint oh my god

_alexturcotte our boy is giving the rockettes a run for their money

yourusername his true dream is to be a vegas show girl

_alexturcotte shame he had to settle for hockey

yourusername truly

trevorzegras @/yourusername you're my new dream

yourusername @/trevorzegras that's sweet but we were teasing you and you ruined it

_alextucotte @/trevorzegras MOMENT RUINER

trevorzegras i can't win

jackhughes @/trevorzegras about time! that's my boy!

trevorzegras got these flashing lights on me🚨

yourusername that... i think made sense... i might have cracked the hockey boy code with this one!

jackhughes @/yourusername big brain

trevorzegras @/yourusername that's my girl!

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 3 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 4

Summary : Disastrous Dinner with your parents leads to a small quarrel between you two.

Warning: Smoking, mention of recreational drug use, insecurities, a bit of angst, not so great parenting , 4.5 k words

After your mom left you immediately took a shower to cool down a little bit, it was 10 am and you had plenty of time to prepare for the evening.

He went to the bathroom after you and when he came out you could feel him staring at you but he wasn't saying anything.

"What?" You looked at him so he averted his gaze and pretended to read his book. "Gotta call my boss, i don't think I can go to work today"

You mumbled as you dialed the manager's number and put it on speaker phone because you wanted to paint your toenails.

"Hiii Mark it's y/n" you said cheerfully and you heard him grumbling in response. Just great

"I just ..uhh wanted to tell you that I won't be able to make it today, sooo"

"Whyyyyy?"

"Uhhh it's a family emergency"

"You can't just take a leave out of nowhere, you have to inform way beforehand, " he said, clearly sounding upset. Did he understand the meaning of emergency? Doofus

"Yeah I would have but it's umm I don't think you heard me right. I said that my family's car was hit by a bulldozer and some of them were still in it. And now they're in an emergency ward so I have to go see them..see you tomorrow byee" you tapped on your head in frustration as you hung up "Argggghh I hate this day already"

Also, why did you have to keep the phone on the speaker?

"So your mother seem ..a bit ahhh –" you found him to struggling to form a complete sentence which wasn't like him at all.

"Overbearing?"

"That. Yes. That"

"She is like that, but she means well"

His brows furrowed as you said that. He was finding it a tad harder to believe.

"Okay, we need to make a man, asap" you said to him as you tightly closed the bottle of the nail paint after you were done using it. He laughed in response because he thought you were joking.

"Darling, I promise it can not be Asap. I mean it would take months for him to grow in your womb before he's birthed and–" he stopped talking as you gave him the look that he had learned to understand as a sign for Stop right now. You sighed as you stood up and went down on your knees in front of him, you placed your hands on his thighs and the position made him gulp.

"I want you to be my boyfriend" his eyes flickered as you said that.

"Ohhhhh?"

"Just for the evening" you clarified it immediately. God you hoped he didn't think of you as some midgardian desperate creep.

"Oh"

"Will you do it for me please?"

"I uhhh–"

"Pleaseee please do it .. please I'm begging you Loki please I'll do anything you'd ask please " you joined your palms together and begged him to just help you out. You didn't really have to beg he thought, you saved his arse, he would walk right into the sun if you'd ask him to.

"I just..never have been a boyfriend before "

"You said you had relationships "

"What is the correlation here?"

"Huh?" He sighed as you failed to understand him.

"I just don't want to ruin this evening which I am sensing- is already a very stressful affair for you" he mumbled as he placed his elbows down on his thighs to rest his chin in the palms of his hand.

"You won't ruin it, oh no please. I'd love to have a friend while we eat dinner..a friend who actually likes me..you know" your eyes teared up so he cupped your cheeks and leaned forward to press a soft kiss on your forehead. That gesture made you feel so warm but you wished you had more time to relish in this feeling.

"I am very fond of you my darling" he mumbled softly. The words made the butterflies go crazy in your stomach. Okay so you were attracted to him which you had already figured by the intense feeling you kept having where you wanted to fuck him all the time, there was the bubbling scorching heat between you two and you also wanted to cuddle him all the time now, all of these things combined together looked bad when you considered how he was literally unattainable. A fucking prince, he was a god that you couldn't even dream of having. He probably wouldn't even look twice at you if you were in a crowded room full of all the beautiful women in the world, women that he probably deserved to have.

Everyone kept telling you that you had higher standards for yourself but then he must have them too right? You weren't it unfortunately.

"Is that a yes?"

"Yess" you stood up and jumped around a little in excitement.

"Oh wait butt oh no.. they can't see you..my mom will recognise you, she's obsessed with you..but in a very bad way"

"She is?"

"Yeah she hates you "

"I figured that..umm do not worry about that. I'll take care of this" he pointed towards his face so you went down on your knees again. You had to stop doing this in front of him because one of these times he'd forget to enchant his cock to not get hard in a jiffy.

"But .. I don't want anyone else there, I want you, I mean. I like this face..it's such a loki looking face that I like" he chuckled as you said that. Sometimes your words hardly made any sense and that's exactly why he adored them so much.

"How about I change my hair and the color of my eyes, maybe get a bit of facial hair, the face stays" you tilted your head as he said that.

"That could work besides there's no way she'd think that you're him with all those modifications you know..oh that's a great idea. Well I'm going to cook now..by the way can I paint your toenails afterwards? You have such pretty toes" you got up from the floor again so he looked down at his feet.

"Noooo" he yelled, making you giggle but now another thing was starting to bother you.

"Wait a second!! You don't have clothes, I need to get you earth people clothes"

"Yes I was troubled by that thought" He did have a suit he had stolen from a midgardian shop when he visited Thor a few years prior after he was banished but for some reason the idea of putting it on again disgusted him. And he couldn't have worn his famous Terrorist from Asgard terrorising Stuttgart overcoat either for obvious reasons.

"Oh no I have to go get it for you then ..it's 11 already and I have to make dinner, and dessert also and oh my god it's so dirty around here, what I'm gonna doooo??" he walked towards as you started to freak out again.

"Now let us pause for a moment here. Take a deep breath for me, can you?" He told you as he grabbed your shoulders to calm you down.

"Okayy..okay..i'm just freaking out" you took a deep breath in order to not pass out right this moment.

"You go purchase the attire for me and I will tidy up the space until then. That is alright?" He asked you so you hugged him tightly, his arms instantly wrapped around your waist as if it was the most natural state in the world, breathing in the scent of your hair he sighed deeply.

He really needed to get a grip. A woman like you deserved a man so noble and not a hideous looking frost giant like him whose moral compass has broken a long time ago. You have waited so long for the man of your dreams and he could never be it for you.

"I'll be back soon"

It took you two hours to find something decent for him to wear, you even had to buy a pair of shoes for him, you saw a bunch of cute t-shirts so you bought that as well. You heard the shower running when you came back from the mall, you couldn't even recognise your apartment. It looked beautiful. First of all it was clean, ofcourse. But he had done something with the lighting as well, it seemed fancier, like a classy restaurant, and it smelled really good too. He had also filled the space with a much needed furniture you didn't have.

There was an elegant looking table right in front of the kitchenette. Bonus point? It also had chairs, you had chairs in your apartment.

The bed was covered in a beautiful satin sheet. Asgardian sheet. He also had that sofa all cleaned up, it looked brand new.

You put the shopping bags down on the sofa as your eyes circled around again. When he entered the room you immediately ran towards him to hug him, momentarily forgetting that he was naked from the waist up and dripping wet.

"This is.. gorgeous..you're like a sorcerer" you mumbled as you pulled away from him and took a few steps back, he was freezing cold. He smiled as he walked closer and wiped the droplets of water from your cheeks, the ones you had gotten by hugging onto his naked wet chest so tightly.

"I'm a sorcerer " he giggled and it made your heart grow ten times larger.

"Thank you Loki, you have no idea what you have done for me" your eyes teared up and so did his, but then again you didn't have time to enjoy this moment, they would be here in like three hours, you also had to get ready.

He tried to help you in the kitchen as much as he could but he wasn't really helping plus the heat bothered him a lot so you made him sit down on the sofa, he had done enough already and you were very grateful for that.

After cooking and assembling the cutleries on the table which again was the courtesy of your alien friend, you put on a dress and finished your makeup. You looked good for a change, the black dress complimented your dark soul. It always did.

You looked at him as he got himself dressed too, you didn't want to go overboard with his attire, there was a dark green jacket because you remembered that to be his favorite color, a plain black t shirt underneath with a tight fitted trouser. For some reason you knew he wasn't the denim jeans type of alien god.

His tush looked extremely good in those pants but that's not what shocked you, it was the change in his appearance. He kept his face but his hair was no longer raven, it was light brown and shorter, you could finally see the back of his neck and it was as smooth as the rest of his skin, his eyes were hazel brown, light freckles adorned his nose and cheeks. The finishing touch was the golden tan on his skin and that I haven't shaved in a week stubble. Even though he had the same face he didn't look like himself. He actually reminded you of that guy from that one King Kong movie you couldn't remember the name of.

"This okay? Or do I resemble my oaf brother a little too much" He asked you so you smiled.

"You look very handsome mister" And hot, and sexy, delicious.

A nervous laughter escaped his throat at the compliment.

"And you my lady, you look–-" before he could finish his words you heard the buzzer going off so you hurriedly stepped towards the door and got them in. You felt anxious and awkward like always, having dinner with four people where you didn't really like the three of them was not your idea of fun. As you opened the door you saw your mom and her husband David first so you hugged her and your step father gave you a side hug.

"Welcome to my humble abode" you chuckled as they stepped in, then you met his daughters from hell, his perfect little princesses, the elder one was named Chelsea, she was a year younger than you and married. Ofcourse because she was just perfect like that. You weren't expecting her to bring her husband Shawn though.

"Wow i didn't know husbands were coming" you mumbled as you hugged her and your mom glared at you.

The younger sister Courtney gave you cheek kisses. Pretentious bitch. She was just 25 but obviously more accomplished and much more successful in her career according to your mother.

As they all stepped inside you noticed them looking around, they had never been here before.

"Wow, this is so tiny and adorable, you know when daddy said you were renting a studio apartment i thought it'd be bigger" Courtney said and you resisted the urge to poke her eyes out.

"It's actually bigger than most studio apartments, I'm actually not supposed to have that whole window area, default in their infrastructure, goodie goodie for me" you felt everyone's eyes on you so you stopped talking immediately, turned around and walked towards Loki, you grabbed his arm and decided to introduce him to everyone, most of them looked shocked but atleast your mother was smiling from ear to ear.

"This is uhh.." oh god you didn't think of a name. Ofcourse you didn't. You see Perfect Chelsea over there would have thought of a name.

"Mark, this is Mark Johnson..he's an auditor for the ..uhhh Marks and Spencers" they smiled at him as you introduced him. No, that name didn't sound fake at all. Nope.

"Hello Mrs. Umm –" he looked at your mother. Wow you two really should have discussed this part a little more. Like for real.

"Used to be something else now she's Mrs Jackson" you told him so he gave your mom a hug. She looked at you as she hugged him and mumbled a wow behind his back which made you want to die from embarrassment.

You didn't want to waste much time so you all sat down for dinner. The problem was he only made six chairs, and there were 7 of you. Gee, No thanks husband Shawn.

"You sit down okay?" You made Loki sit down so he grabbed your arm and scooted a little to the side, one of his buttocks was hanging in the air but he didn't care, he didn't want you to feel left out at your own family dinner.

As you sat down next to him, well almost onto him, everyone cooed. It's not as if you weren't getting used to being squished against him.

"So i noticed the accent, are you a London boy Mr. Mark" you wanted to hurl at the way Courtney was looking at him.

"Uhh yes, England" You took a sip of the wine you had in front of you, for the god of lies, he wasn't really good at living up to that status.

"So you're here on business? How did you two meet?" Your mom asked you so this time you answered instead.

"Ohh he's a member at the gym I work for" you smiled.

"Why do I feel like I have seen you somewhere?" Your mom squinted her eyes and it made you nervous.

"Ohh he looks like that guy from that movie.. I don't remember..the one with the big burly ape" you agreed as Shawn said that. Well thanks Shawn

"Ohhhh yeah..yeah you're right"

"So auditing? You like that job, son?" David asked him. Oh!! he's not your son David. No no considering his age, David was the son, his father was the son, his grandfather was the son. Why couldn't you just stop having thoughts for once?

"No. I don't know what that is actually" he chuckled and then you heard them all laughing in unison. You did too before you glared at him,

"Wow, good looking and funny. By the way, raise your glasses everyone.. I have an announcement" Courtney grabbed her glass of wine and took a deep breath before she proceeded to speak.

"I got the job in London..ahhhh" she squealed as she celebrated herself and everyone then squealed for her, she worked for an embassy or something, you never cared to find out. Your mother did remind you now and again as how it could have been you if you'd have been a little sincere about your life.

"Ohh honey congratulations, that's amazing, I'm sooo proud of you" your mom said to her so you smiled in disbelief.

"Okay okay..i have a news too. We have a news" Chelsea said as she smiled from ear to ear and looked at her husband "So I'm not drinking wine because I'm abstaining, I lied sorry.. hint hint" She pointed towards her belly and the whole world gasped for her.

"Call Odin and ask him if he heard the gasps" you mumbled in his ear and he bit on his cheek to stop himself from smiling. She was pregnant ofcourse. They all hugged her and congratulated the lovely couple, so did you, you had no other choice.

"Both of our daughters make me so happy sweetie" David's eyes teared up as he held your mother's hand.

"I am so proud of them"

After the happiness died down a little, Courtney looked at you.

"So y/n you're a trainer at the gym right..don't they like pay very less?"

"It actually depends on my competence and how many clients I can get in a month," you said to her. No you didn't miss the snark, you just wanted to ignore it.

"Oh.. so less huh"

God you hated her.

"Shoot i am out" David said as he opened the box of his cigarettes.

"Oh honey" your mom comforted him and then she glared at you as Courtney made another comment.

"Y/n smokes, just ask her for one dad"

"It was just that one time.."

You tried to defend yourself but your mom cut you off as she shook her head in disappointment.

"Look if you have it, just be a good hostess and give one to him" she said to you so you were about to get up but Loki stopped you.

"I'll get it darling. I found it while cleaning" he said to you so you smiled, as he walked towards the closet you wondered what he meant, what did he find? As he returned he passed the lighter to David along with that fucking joint you couldn't find yesterday.

"Uhhh this is not..is this weed?"

You stood up and snatched it from his hand. Loki felt mortified now, maybe he should have asked first if your stepfather wanted to smoke weed or something else. He really should have thought a little harder about it.

"It's not mine, it's a friend's" you mumbled so your mom looked at you.

"Oh sweetie, are you in the wrong company again?" She questioned and you immediately denied. You felt overwhelmed now, you just wanted to go cry in your bathroom.

"I apologise darling, i had no clue what he wanted" he whispered in your ear so you sighed. He just wanted to help.

"It's fine..it's okay " you told him, you didn't want him to feel bad about this even though you felt completely mortified now.

"So what are your plans for marriage?" The wine came out of your nose as your mom questioned Loki.

"Mommm" you glared at her and gestured to cut it out but ofcourse she ignored the cue.

"I'm just asking, you two make a cute couple..what do you guys think?" She looked around the table for approval.

"Ohhh yess hook him in y/n before you lose this one too" Courtney cackled like a witch. Loki felt awful, these people reminded him of those bilgesnipes, all ready to pounce and attack you for no reason. He felt something grazing over his shin so he looked under the table and saw a bunch of toes rubbing against him. It belonged to one of your sisters.

"She's touching me" he whispered in your ear so you looked under the table and she stopped immediately.

"Marriage is such a beautiful thing, it just makes me sad that y/n is going to be in her thirties now and she's still..so lonely" Chelsea gave you a sad look making you scoff in response.

"But I'm happy.. and I don't really care alright?"

"Well you should care honey, when you're sixty and alone with no-one to take care of you you'll regret this attitude" your eyes teared up as your mother chimed in. You saw your step sisters smiling and passing glances to each other.

"Didn't you marry twice?" Loki asked your mother so you glared at him and asked him to cut it out.

"Excuse me?" Your mom had the typical look of disapproval now. You could just tell she didn't really like him any longer.

"You married her father and it must not have worked very well since you are married to this gentleman here now?" He asked her again so you facepalmed.

"But that's life, that happens, sometimes things don't work out between two people, there are several different reasons why people get divorced" she raised her voice a little and you could feel everything getting out of your hand now.

"Well pardon my interference but perhaps she doesn't want that to happen to her as well, maybe she wants to spend her life with someone who would be there for every reason and not only for a season" your mom gave him a death glare as he said that and so did you. The tension in the room kept on piling up.

He could tell you were upset with him for opening his big mouth today.

After the dinner and dessert ended, you were hoping for them to just leave, you had no energy to take more insults.

"Sooo we are going to be here for two days, let's go somewhere tomorrow" your mom hugged you as she spoke so you hummed in agreement "And lose this one, he's not the type of man who is going to marry you" she said to you as she pulled away.

"Yeah? Why do you think that?" You chuckled but it was because of the frustration you were feeling in the moment.

"Look at him honey. Don't be such a fool, men like him don't settle for women like us, he's just having his fun I can tell" you nodded as she said that. Once they all left you shut the main door with a force and then you turned around to glare at him.

"Y/n i –"

"You could have just kept your mouth shut you know"

"I didn't intend to disrespect her, she just--"

"What were you trying to do then huh? Do you know how hard that divorce was on her? On me?" Your eyes welled up as you questioned him. That comment your mom made was the last nail in the coffin and unfortunately she wasn't here to bear the brunt of it so you took it out on him.

"I am sorry, please don't be upset darling" he mumbled softly but you were too angry to care right now.

"I'm not your darling, giving him the roll of weed wasn't enough for you huh? God I wish you weren't here today, it's all my fault" his eyes filled with tears as you said that. A part of you knew you were misdirecting your anger and frustration on him but you still couldn't stop, you wished you would have though because the look on his face bothered you a lot, you never wanted to see him look so sad and that too because of you.

You scurried towards the bathroom and then the tears couldn't stop coming, your step sisters were younger and better than you and they were living their best lives while nothing turned your life around no matter how much you worked for it, they were accomplishing everything they had dreamt of while several of your dreams had already been shattered, you had successfully wasted half of your life so far and accomplished nothing. Your mother probably wished for a daughter like them and that's why she found love in David again.

When you came out, he looked at you with a worried look on his face, he still had the same clothes on but he was back to looking like himself. Did you really just tell him that you wished he wasn't here after everything he had done for you today? God, you felt like a selfish asshole. No wonder you didn't have anyone in life that you could actually count on.

"Do you want me to disappear?" He asked you and you suddenly felt so anxious.

"No. I'm sorry..I'm so sorry Loki" as you started to sob he walked towards you and hugged you as tightly as he could, that was it for you in that moment, you broke down and cried until you couldn't cry any more.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean it, please don't go, i ..you're the only true friend I have..the best one i have ever had, and you were so good to me today, so sweet and I'm so sorry lo" you pulled away to look at him so he cupped your cheeks and kissed your forehead.

"I'm sorry I ruined the feast with my callousness" you smiled as he said that. He wasn't being callous, he just wanted to defend you. What a sweet sweet man.

"Well it's not as if it was going any better before..so I'm not really sorry about it" he kissed your forehead again and you just wanted to kiss him, it took everything to not clash your lips against his in that moment.

"You don't deserve to be treated in such a manner, you went through such pain today to make this enjoyable for them and you don't deserve anyone hurting you like that, none of the things they said hold true whatsoever" he said to you softly.

"You don't either Loki, I'm sorry it was me who hurt you today but I never want to be such a jerk to you again" he smiled at the statement.

"I understand, I have had my fair share of outbursts to comprehend that it didn't come from a place of malice but mere frustration and it wasn't intended for me" he mumbled and it made you smile. God he really was a dreamboat.

"Thank you Loki for everything you did today. You have no idea how much I appreciate you being here for me right now, i really do"

You hugged him again and took a deep breath, his hugs and sweet words really made you feel better than before. He was your friend, you loved having him as your friend. You looked up at him and the look in his eyes made you aware of the close proximity so you stepped away a little, he placed his hands inside the pocket of his pants to avoid the awkwardness but he had something in there so he took it out.

"What is it?"

"Something one of your sisters shoved into the pocket when we greeted each other" he said as he passed the slip to you. It was her phone number. What a bitch.

"Burn it down"

"Yes madam" you smiled as he said that.

"Umm..I'll go sleep, I'm tired" you mumbled as turned around and stepped towards the closet to take your pyjamas out.

"Uhh..What can I do to make you feel better?" he asked you, so you sighed.

"Nothing i– " Well actually "There's something you can do" you gave him a mischievous smile and he sighed as he understood what you wanted from him.

That's how he ended up on the sofa with you sitting on the floor with his feet resting on your thighs while you painted his toenails the same colour as yours.

"So pretty" you giggled as you finished the one leg and it warmed his heart. It was unbearable for him to see that hurt look on your face throughout the evening, knowing that there were people in the world who hurt you like that made his heart clench, he just wanted you to not feel that way like ever. He wanted to keep you protected.

"Maybe tomorrow we can do your makeup" you said nonchalantly making him tilt his head in response.

"How about no?" He responded and you feigned a look of disappointment.

At night he slept in that bed of yours, his sad brows were faster than your resistance today. You couldn't sleep though. You kept wondering if he'd come cuddle you but it has been an hour and he seemed asleep now. Wow this really bothered you, him not cuddling you by force like he had done in the last two days really really bothered you.

You sat up and got off from his princely bed then you took a few steps towards yours, you thought about what you were going to do for a moment. When he cuddled you, it was circumstancial, he had a nightmare the first night and then his body ached the other, you had no choice in that matter, you could have always pretended that you didn't love his cuddles but getting in the bed now would affirm that you indeed enjoyed sleeping with him like that and wanted it as much as he did.

Fuck it your cursed in your head before crawling into the bed. He was asleep but he did feel your body next to him, maybe he'd think that he was dreaming. Goddss he smelled divine.

He was lying on his side facing towards you so you sneaked your hand in the space between his neck and the pillow, he felt the invasion and instead of opening his eyes and calling you out for it he scooted closer to you instead and pressed his head down on your chest like he had done before. One of his arms went under your waist to pull you even closer while the other wrapped around you.

He embraced you as intimately as he could without it turning too sexual, this was the most intimate you had ever been with a man. Sure you had sex but even then you had several inches of distance between your bodies somehow. You hooked your legs around his waist in the usual position.

"Thank you" you mumbled softly in his ears and he hummed in response. You were thankful for him, you had known him for mere few weeks but you had never felt so strongly understood by someone.

"I'm overjoyed that you came. I just figured you needed your personal space tonight, perhaps I was mistaken " you smiled as he mumbled against your chest.

"Perhaps"

You knew it won't take you long enough to fall asleep now, you wondered if this was appropriate or not but you no longer cared for it. You also knew that you were only digging a deeper hole for yourself. Getting addicted to the feeling of cuddling him like this will only hurt you later when he won't be here with you. Your mother wasn't wrong, men like him didn't choose women like you for life but then you knew that already, didn't you?

Nothing so good could ever last forever, nothing so sweet and gentle could ever be wholly yours. Maybe you can press the stop button on this tomorrow but tonight you just wanted to indulge a little. Tonight you just wanted to live a little. Something that you haven't done for as long as you could remember.

🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶🥶

Tag list (if you want to be tagged or removed let me know.. also I’m not able to tag some of you, please check your settings)

@annoyingsweetsstranger @mcufan72

@nixymarvelkins @stupidthoughtsinwriting @fictive-sl0th @huntress-artemiss @eleniblue @violethaze @anukulee @ladymischief11 @12-pm-510 @wolfsmom1 @whylokiissocute @hyperlokilover @vickie5446 @pics-and-fanfics @daddylokisqueen @tallseaweed @olivertwistrabbit @blog-the-lilly @prettylittlepluviophile @flashhxn-lights @vanilla-daydreaming @somewiseguy @yaaamadaa-blog @dragonmurray @nyxxharmonia @elthreetimes @grufteila

[dyketubbo]

tbh for me the thing about cbeeduo is that its so like. how am i supposed to look at this dynamic and not feel insane for the rest of my life. like going along w the crushing during nlm hc ranboo fell in love w tubbo at his WORST. they saw some child president who was probably on illegal substances like half of the time with a tired face and forced grin as he got through politics he didnt understand and got insults hurled at him, comparing him to an abusive dictator as he tried to solve a trolley problem (his best friend was on one line and his country was on the other and of course he chooses majority rule but the trolley loops back around anyways and all he did was delay the inevitable) and ranboo saw some 16yr old on his last leg going on about how he felt like he was going to die soon (and hes too too close to the cliffs edge but hes grinning and its like hes really hoping death is a happy ending) and everyone was leaving him and he didnt want all this and ranboo goes follow my voice i wont leave im sorry and they fall in love with whatever virtues there are left in tubbo and decide that they would keep trying to do right by him

and then, inevitably, ranboo messes up and betrays tubbo and tubbos voice shudders and ranboo never wants to see that broken expression of disbelief again so he fights for a country even though hes been disenchanted with it for a while and hes never liked picking sides anyways (but this is tubbo, and if hes choosing tubbo its okay because he cant hurt tubbo again) and of course it falls anyways and tubbo makes a new home and tubbo makes nukes and tubbo makes a plan and then tubbo is on his knees and an axe is held to his neck and ranboo barely gets a glimpse before things are moving forward and tubbo is pressed to her side calling them minutes man again

the marriage starts out as a joke, tubbos never been rich and ranboo only gets richer and tubbo pretends its for tax benefits, hes just a golddigger, because right now its a joke and thats all hes letting it be. but then hes laughing like normal but it feels different and hes looking at the family portrait of the two and michael and hes thinking about bunk beds and he gets a mansion because hes in love at this point because ranboo was there during his worst moments and even as tubbos getting (relatively) better ranboos still there and of course tubbo forgives him because when he met ranboo they reminded him painfully of himself and tubbo cant let ranboo be like him so he falls in love with them instead and if ranboos going to stick by him tubbos going to try and be someone good to stick by

but of course ranboo finds bad influences anyways and tommy is back but different and everythings different and ranboo wont move in so every few days its just him and michael (and god, he shouldnt be a parent at 17, what is he doing with his life? he should have been dead by now) and he tries so so hard to be good for michael and good for ranboo and better for tommy and he isnt really good to himself but thats fine and ranboo is so much better than he'll ever be and michael adores him and tubbo adores him and its fine that the mansion is collecting dust and its fine that ranboo lives by tubbos executioner and the people who helped destroy his country and its fine that he doesnt really know who ranboo is at all outside of his kind husband that was there for him at his worse and its fine that ranboo doesnt really know who tubbo is outside of someone who has been through a lot and needs a good break and its fine that theyre keeping secrets its fine that they never really talk about their problems (its fine that its been months and ranboo still hasnt moved in)

and then they have their first disagreement and tubbo tries to make up for it and it works until they have their first argument and ranboo tries to make up for it but he has to make a point too and they hardly get to talk about it before suddenly time has passed and

and ranboos dead and tubbos a widow and single father at 18 and his (their) son got kidnapped and hes making friends with murderers and hes not sure how to feel about his husbands ghost (and ranboo is so so happy to be dead and ranboo is in limbo alone and tubbo doesnt know how any of this works) so he moves on and his anger gets the best of him and he pushes someone off a bridge and he moves on and he isnt getting better and he moves on and nothings getting better and he moves on and because the dream smp is at its core not that great pretty often theres no closure to any of this ever tubbo dies and loses all his memories ranboos forever a ghost and takes his son elsewhere and thats it the end youre just meant to be normal about all this now. they never learned how to truly trust each other and they were so so in love and wanted to be good for each other but never talked about their problems and now they just Dont Get To. The End !

[skzcollision]

churchboy!felix x afab!reader (5/7)

| 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 |

genre: fluff, smut, teen angst

synopsis: certain expectations come with being a pastor’s daughter. in everyone’s eyes you are a properly behaved girl, albeit rather timid. according to your parents, you aren’t as devoted to the church as you should be. they entrust you to an old family friend’s son, deeming him to be a good influence. these circumstances bring you two closer together and stir up all kinds of emotions.

MINORS DNI

. ⋅ ˚̣- : ✧ : – ⭒ ⊹ ⭒ – : ✧ : -˚̣⋅ .

“What do you want to do?”

Scraping the bottom of your cup, you scoop up the last of the creamy gelato, humming around the plastic spoon in contemplation. You really haven’t given it much thought. Your only goal is to be free from your parents and the life they have set for you—which you’ve just told Felix, and everything you have been planning once the school year commences.

“I- I don’t know. Honestly I didn’t even think about it, all I know is, I want to be in charge of my own life for once.” You say, dropping the spoon into the empty cup. “I’ve just enrolled myself in General Studies for now.”

Felix nods in understanding. He reaches forward to pinch your cheek, a comforting smile on his face. “You’ll figure it out. I know you will,” he then gets up to throw your cups away.

“How about you? Where will you be living?” You lift your gaze, squinting through the sunlight. He has told you about the tech university he’ll be attending in September. Like the school you’ve chosen, it is also in the heart of the city, so it would be a bit of a drive from your town.

He returns to his spot next to you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. “My older sister lives pretty close by so I’ll be moving in with her.”

You grin excitedly and lean into him. “So you’ll be near.”

His eyes crinkle with glee. “I’ll be near.”

“Oh, and just so you know,” his brows raise as you move your lips by his ear, speaking in a hushed tone. “I’ve applied for a single dorm.”

When you pull away, his dark eyes bore into your own and he deadpans, “I guess that means no more fooling around in churches.”

You laugh, resting your head against his chest.

Felix jerks from suppressing his own laughter, and buries his face into your hair. “Still can’t believe we did that… I hope we didn’t miss anything cleaning up.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll tell everyone it was Alice and Jason,” you say, placing a repugnant image in your heads. He dissolves into snickers.

It would be quite the scandal. Everyone knows that the aforementioned couple is waiting until marriage to even have their first kiss so holding hands is the furthest they could have gone.

You turn to him after a few beats of silence. “Hey Lix,” he quirks a brow when he hears the seriousness in your tone. “Do you really believe in God? Like if it weren’t for your parents…”

He pauses for a moment to think.

“It’s not that I believe in him—it’s more that I want to. Like if I put my faith into something, maybe I could also learn to have some faith in myself… Like I could erase my uncertainties about the future and believe that things will work out for me because… because you know, they always say that he has a plan for us. Or something like that… I don’t know…”

Felix trails off, suddenly hyper aware of himself under the weight of your gaze. He has the habit of rambling and trying to express his every single thought, which you find endearing, but he gets flustered when the things he says seem to go nowhere.

You get what he’s trying to say though, you know that he has had some issues with his self confidence and more often than not doubts himself. He’s the type of person that is too busy building others up with positivity, that he forgets to do the same for himself.

But you’ve been staring for too long.

A quiet chuckle leaves him. “Maybe you think that’s lame, but–“

“No, no, that makes perfect sense.” You assure him, waving your hands frantically. “I could never think that you’re lame.”

His lips make a loud smack when he kisses the top of your head and you both beam at each other.

“M’sorry, that was a lie.” You say jokingly, sucking in air through clenched teeth. “You’re pretty lame at Mario Kart.”

“Mmm,” he narrows his eyes. “I believe I let you win that time.”

“Sure you did.”

“Don’t get all cocky now just ‘cause I felt sorry for you.”

“You are mean, you know that?”

“It all comes from a place of love,” he murmurs before softly pressing his lips to yours.

“Love?” You whisper against his mouth.

“Love.” He affirms, grinning.

Your summer is filled with moments like this.

Biking through rough, gravelly paths, finding empty fields to dump your bikes onto. Rolling around in fresh uncut grass, revelling in each other’s presence.

Whispers of sweet nothings, limbs so jumbled up you don’t know where one begins and one ends. His rough, but plush lips, chapped from all the wind and laughter, made soft again when you kiss—until your mouths are sore and pink. Calloused fingers caressing your exposed skin, as if memorizing every curve and detail of your body.

“I remember the first time I saw you,” he remarks, breaking the silence that has settled upon you two.

Felix is lying on the grass, his arms crossed behind his head and face tilted towards the blue skies. You’re on your knees next to his motionless body, trying to get his nose just right.

“We were in bible study, and you were sketching in your notebook—just like you are now.” Freckles dance as the corners of his mouth lift up, eyes falling on your concentrated face. “You were so focused. Like you were off in your own world.”

You glance up from your sketch pad, ceasing the rapid scratching of your pencil.

“Think that’s when I started liking you.”

Heart skipping a beat at his confession, your lips part in surprise. “Really? That far back?”

His parents have been around ever since you were a kid, but Felix had stayed with his grandparents for a good portion of his life before moving into town, so you really only got to meet each other when you were both fourteen. You never suspected that he had feelings for you. He hid it well.

“Mhm,” he smiles widely now, finding your astonishment amusing. “You didn’t even acknowledge me then, but I always looked forward to watching you draw.”

“Psh–“ You scoff, returning to your portrait of him, struggling to contain your smile. “You fall in love way too easily.”

“Only ‘cause it’s you.” He nudges your knee with his elbow, but you refuse to make eye contact now.

Somehow you’re the one feeling all exposed and vulnerable, even though he’s laid out for you to observe and draw.

“Well if you liked me for that long, how come you never said anything?”

You can hear the movements of the grass when he shrugs. “Because I was scared?”

“Of my father?” A breathless laugh breaks through your voice.

Your mother is actually more daunting in comparison. Although your father has a stern and severe air about him, he is quite short and frail looking standing next to her. Your father never smiles, but your mother smiles a concerning amount, and they are never genuine—which makes it more unsettling.

“No,” he says it like it’s obvious. “Of you.”

This gets you to finally look at him. “Me?”

“Yeah, you,” his fingers tickle the outside of your thigh. He stares deeply into your eyes, pupils blown out. “Even now you scare me. You make me question everything I’ve ever known, you bring out this side of me that…”

“That?” You mutter, suddenly feeling short of breath.

WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT

Words are not needed. He pushes everything you’re holding aside, leading you onto your back. Tufts of grass poke at your arms and back, but he lays your head gently on his folded hoodie. Caging you in his arms, he gazes at you for what feels like an eternity, fingers stroking your hair, your rosy cheek, then your lips.

Felix whispers your name, so simple yet, it impacts you so intensely, you don’t know how or why but warm tears prick your eyes. Maybe it’s the way he’s looking at you, like you’re something so precious and worthy, or– you don’t know, you’re not thinking straight and you aren’t making any sense right now.

His lips are on yours in a flash, and you let yourself slip into that boundless space with him.

Your head feels light, every touch, every kiss, stealing air from your lungs. His body presses tightly against yours, hearts beating alongside each other.

Then he’s asking you a question, something you don’t fully process but say yes to anyway because the answer is always yes when it comes to Felix.

Sunlight pierces your eyes when he moves down your body, settling his face in between your thighs and pushing up your skirt. His hands are on either side of your underwear and he’s looking up at you for confirmation.

Only then you realize what he just asked you, and your heart pounds with excitement. “Yes, yes, please…”

The anticipation buzzing through your body is soothed when he finally swipes his tongue across your slit, fingers gently parting your folds and allowing obscene access to your most sensitive part. Felix is careful, calculated, his wet muscle swirling and laviciously curling around your clit.

Your body switches from tensing up to falling limp, swimming with pleasure from his ministrations. Expletives and sounds of ecstasy escape your mouth, urging him on. His fingers dimple the flesh of your thighs, keeping you open as he dives further into you, until his forehead is pressed against your lower abdomen and all you see is a head of hair.

His mouth has fully invaded you now, lips cupping around the bundle of nerves as he eagerly licks up into your sweet cunt. He groans against you, voice raspy and resonant. The vibrations only bring you closer to your release.

Your hips have started rocking into his face and he locks his arms around your thighs as he now messily eats you out, letting you use his mouth to your greatest pleasure.

Your mind goes blank, and for a moment, it feels as though you are floating. Felix holds you down, taking everything you’re giving him, thumbs skimming across your smooth skin.

He collapses next to you, breathing hard.

It takes a while for you to gather yourself, enough to say something at least. “How– how did you…”

Felix turns his head to you, smiling cheekily. “Did a little bit of research.”

“Damn good research,” you sigh, at a loss of words as you swing your body to rest against his.

He chuckles, pulling you tightly onto him, kissing you on the head then all over your face.

You are still dizzy from the day as you are biking your way home. Things had to end a little early because your mom decided to be a buzzkill and started sending you texts telling you to go home.

A melody hanging from your smiling lips, you walk through that door, only to be ripped out of your contentment by your mother.

She stands with her hands on her hips, lips pressed into a thin line. Suddenly you’re eight years old again, getting in trouble for something as trivial as leaving the kitchen tap dripping.

“Care to explain what this is?” Only it is a much more serious matter than that. A letter falls open from the hand she holds out in front of you.

A letter from school that you have hidden in your drawer.

You gulp, holding yourself firm despite your shaking limbs. “I’m going, mom.”

A smile creeps onto her face, more so a grimace, as she steps towards you. “So this is how you repay us, after all we’ve done to raise you.”

“It’s just a school.”

“Is it,” she laughs coldly. “You go to that school, then what? You stop going to church, start partying, doing drugs–“

You scoff in disbelief at her major overreaction. “Mom, that is so–“

“I have always known what you are,” she voices ominously, staring at you with pure disgust, as if you were vermin and not of her own flesh and blood. Then that piece of paper is thrown at your face, her countenance turning fiery.

“You’ve done it now,” she raises a hand—a scene all too familiar to you.

It triggers your fight or flight response and suddenly you’re ripping open the door, almost tripping on your own feet as you rush out of that house. Heart racing wildly in your chest, you bolt down the driveway, ignoring her shouts.

Hot tears spill from your eyes and onto the screen of your phone as you press the button to call Felix.

⭒

| 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 |

| taglist: @moasworld @beautifulixr @vixensss @yeetfellx @g00dtimenotlongtim3 @letrasalvientoblog @yourmercibeaucoupsblog @tfshouldidohere @sxurgrapes @babrieeee @fawnpeaks |

[maxdurden]

share your buddy dawn hcs pretty please..

OKAY, buddy hcs (or at least some of them, i am trying to be so normal you can’t imagine. this guy lives in my head rent free)

a lot of my hcs about buddy also involve his family, just because the family stratification that happens in southern evangelical families is SO fascinating to me.

SO: buddy is a southern grandma’s boy. if you’ve lived in the south you know this guy. his grandma helped raise him, he calls his grandma ‘mimi’ and, to his grandma, he’s essentially the second coming of christ, he can do NO wrong in her eyes. buddy and pamela dawn have the kind of enmeshed relationship that would simply blow your mind

as an addendum to this: buddy dawn calls his grandma ‘mimi’ and his grandpa ‘pawpaw.’ if you are his friend, the whole family will invite you to participate in this naming tradition. this will make you uncomfortable but there’s no way out of it without seeming rude (this is a struggle i know well as a yank living in the south)

on the topic of pamela dawn, i think she’s like such a Matriarch, at least as much as one can be in that kind of misogynistic social system. i think she clings to what power she can grab and is incredibly vindictive (but never direct) about it. i think she was probably just as enmeshed and close with buddy’s dad (think #boymom) and probably HATED buddy’s mom, regardless of how good of a mom/person she was

we don’t know a lot about buddy’s parents, but my vibe is that they’re dead. if they weren’t, it doesn’t make sense to me that they would let bobby and pamela move away with their son (there are other hcs i’ve heard on this topic that are equally interesting, such as buddy’s mom and dad having a different idea of sol/helio worship and being pushed out of the family). my vibe is that they died on a mission trip. this explains why bobby didn’t just revivify them, but it also adds to the themes of legacy and family name that buddy has to contend with. like imagine if your grandpa is The Sol Televangelist Of All Time and your parents were martyred on a mission to the mountains of chaos?? oh the crushing pressure of familial expectations (and helio didn’t even choose you as his chosen one)

buddy’s legal name is robert. this one has no real evidence (in fact i feel like it’s likely that there’s no more to his name, at least canonically, than just buddy), but it makes sense to me that a man like bobby dawn would be obsessed with passing down his name and legacy. so i think it’s likely that his dad was also named robert (maybe called robbie or rob)

OR

buddy’s name is specifically NOT robert, and that’s exactly why he got the nickname buddy. this hc is a bit more convoluted, but here’s the gist: imagine buddy’s mom didn’t name him robert despite all the familial pressure to do so. of course there’s nothing bobby or pamela can really do, but they can give this kid a nickname that’ll stick for the rest of his life. plus, buddy has always seemed like a kind of condescending nickname to me and i think that would piss off his mom even more (which tbf is what i think pamela’s goal would be). but, if buddy’s legal name isn’t robert, i don’t have any super strong contenders for what his legal name would be

(i could get into a whole thing about hcs i have about his parents good god)

i think buddy grew up listening to his grandparents' old records! this means he was raised on old gospel and old country and that’s still the majority of his music taste (it doesn’t help that he’s not allowed access to most tech, especially tech from solace, so the influences he’s pulling from are relatively limited)

this is already. so. long. so i’m going to stop myself now lmao. but thank you for asking!!!!! i ALWAYS have thoughts about this fucking guy so thank you for the ask!!!!!!

[1-up-chump]

I love your MK headcanons. They're so inspiring for my own writing.

Would you be able to give me some for marrying/ wedding ceremony/ wedding night with some of the MK baddies please? Kano/ Shang Tsung/ shao kahn/ mileena? Thank you.

Aaaa thank you! I don't consider myself all that inspiring but im glad someone does!

Mortal kombat villains in marriage

Kano:

Kano never thought himself the "marrying type" but when he met you? He swears he heard wedding bells.

Despite his dignity and manners being "dubious" to say the least, he is a man who knows how to separate business and pleasure. He wouldn't get far in the black dragon if he didn't.

So he keeps the ceremonies small and simple, who he invites is who he personally trusts to behave which is only a few. The rest would probably be on your side, whether they know what you really do or not is how things play out.

Kano makes sure to present himself in a less shady manner to your friends and family if you kept being a member of the black dragon secret. Surprisingly the man cleans up nicely.

Regardless, kano can't wait to get to the "honeymoon" part.

Shang tsung:

Despite being arrogant he's extremely cautious, so if he decides to marry it means it's truly for love. And he trusts to be with someone for all eternity (even if it means if his beloved wont accept immortality he can always attach their soul to his wedding ring to keep them forever)

As prideful a man shang tsung is, he wants the ceremony small and private. Maybe a little traditional but he's willing to compromise for your traditions as well if you have any.

The reception however. Is going to be big, so extravagant that he's waving a big sign to the elder gods that says "haha you may have cursed me but im still a happy bastard!" And of course shang tsung has beefed security on his island so he can show off everyone what a precious jewel his spouse is.

And after all that shang tsung gives you a very rare gift for the honeymoon, his submission in bed. Savor it but don't take it for granted.

Shao kahn:

Makes sure this wedding is the envy of all realms, like shang tsung the reception is going to be bigger than the actual ceremony. However unlike shang tsung, shao kahn is more lax.

All the attention is directed at you and shao, so even if that makes you a bit uncomfortable, he holds you close to him or gets the attention off of you (its very easy because this man thrives off of the attention.) Also expect tons of gifts from "the peasants".

And of course the reception would be a mortal kombat tournament. It's not shao kahn without some kind of brutal kombat time. He wants to show off as much as possible, his display of love is violently tearing opponents apart.

Of course all that battle is really just him "warming up" for the honeymoon. You will be sore for days.

Mileena:

Mileena will not feel comfortable marrying you until after she is kahn. Once that is all settled, you two will marry promptly.

The ceremony is a bizzare mixture of edenian and tarkatan cultures. Shockingly the combination inspires others to view the tarkatan in a different light. Thusly, your marriage is also a boost in political influence.

But that was never mileena's intentions, she loves you too much to use you like that. For the first time her whole being is bared to someone, who wants to stay forever.

Mileena cries at her own wedding, she didn't think about such things before. But when experiencing the ceremony, being in a beautiful dress, exchanging vows, partaking in a shared carcass of meat, her heart is filled with joy.

Your honeymoon will be filled with the most sentimental and wildest of "activities" including new things that either one of you may or may not enjoy in the future

[silenceinternalmonologue]

do you wish to talk about naruto… like I’d love to hear your thoughts on sasuke’s characterization…

oh my god someone asked me about sasuke's characterization. holy shit my time has come. i hope you don't regret this because i'm about to be very annoying

it's such a broad question i didn't rly know where to start so i think i'm going to go through some popular misconceptions people have on various aspects of his character uhhhh

loyalty: not to be all 'sasuke never did anything wrong' but he didn't really do anything wrong. leaving the village and his friends behind was out of a belief that in order to avenge his clan he had to be far more powerful than he was as part of team 7. he was manipulated by itachi (love him tho) and orochimaru who deliberately exploited him as a very young child. he was also given absolutely no support to counteract these influences. kakashi tried to give him a speech, but it was far too little too late

sasuke coped with the loss of his clan by telling himself that being alone made him strong, and being around people made him weak-- because if he had bonds, he would have something he was afraid of losing. and to go after itachi he would have to have nothing to lose. it's not that he didn't care about his friends: it's that he cared so much that he knew they would get in the way of his goal

it's worth remembering that goal was the only reason he had survived up until that point, as he says when facing itachi at the hotel. i have a headcanon that he would have become suicidal if he hadn't fixated so hard on this goal and lived for it, and think itachi also thought this which is why he insisted on getting sasuke to hate him and have something to live for

friendships: a lot of people say sasuke doesn't care about his friends, mostly because he has tried to kill them (specifically naruto and sakura, also karin and he left the rest of taka/hebi behind). again, he does care, to a painful extent. during the fight against gaara's ichibi form, he says 'i won't let anyone else close to me die'. from their very first mission in land of waves, he's extremely protective of team 7 despite convincing himself that caring about people again will be his downfall

although he's already depressed and traumatized by the time he joins team 7, he grows fond of them very quickly and protects them with his life. he also indulges in their shenanigans even though he usually acts like he's above them... but he's just a child too after all. same with taka/hebi: sasuke is supposedly colder than ever by this point, but he helps his teammates and builds a dynamic with them despite always keeping them at arms length

yeah basically people mistake sasuke's quiet exterior and snarky comments for him not caring and use his darkest moments as proof of that. but he's just very introverted, naturally sarcastic and afraid of connecting with people due to his trauma and when he does snap it's because of how much he cares, not because he's a crazy violent murderer

morality: for the vast majority of the show, sasuke is vehemently against killing anyone and even ensures that no taka/hebi members kill either. kage summit arc sasuke is at his very lowest point: konoha had led him to kill the only family he had left after killing an entire clan and traumatizing him for life. it makes sense for him to have a breaking point

it's also worth remembering that here everyone (except naruto) had given up on him and were aiming to kill him. i'm not going to go as far as to say that sasuke fought out of self-defense, but it is clear that he was fighting not in his right mind

sasuke was right to kill danzo, who orchestrated the genocide of all of his people and allowed him to kill his brother who was also a victim of that system. he was also right to want to kill the elders who were similarly responsible. the only goal of his i don't agree with is wanting to destroy konoha which he states at final valley but i'm honestly not even sure how much his heart was in this. i think he just wanted naruto to fight him but that's a topic for another post

basically sasuke did nothing wrong umm anyways on to lighter (?) topics

personality: there's a common trend in this fandom that sasuke's quiet and tough exterior is entirely an act and that he's secretly very soft. i do agree that he's silly (dumb sense of humor similar to naruto's in a lot of ways) and obviously very caring, but i also think that he's genuinely very pragmatic, calculated, and introverted. i think that in a relationship though he would have moments of vulnerability, he still wouldn't be a desperate or submissive type. he shows affection by doing concrete things for other people and helping them even when not asked

his cold demeanor is partially a defense mechanism since he doesn't trust people after the massacre. but it's also because he doesn't place value in pleasantries or hierarchy, and (lovingly) has supbar social skills.

emotional intelligence: sasuke is more emotionally intelligent than people think he is. i think it's easy to see this from the few monologues we get from him, where he's very aware of his own emotions. i think his main issue is putting things into words and communicating his feelings, not that he doesn't understand them

bonus - sexuality: vaguely related to the last point??? but mostly silly, i think because of this emotional intelligence sasuke figured out he was gay pretty early. i mean... he never shows even feigned interest in any women, and no straight person dresses like that COME ON. i think he felt some guilt due to being the last uchiha with a duty to revive the bloodline, but that he also didn't imagine himself living long enough to have a relationship so it didn't really concern him

tldr sasuke is an extremely caring character who loves deeply and desires justice for those people. he's very mentally ill, mainly as a result of a government-sanctioned genocide against his people and being given absolutely no resources to cope with that. he's also incredibly gay. and i love him so mmuch god please put me down before i write anymore

[darkphoenix5037]

Hitta

Welp here is another one. This will be OT7(focus on Namjoon coz he is my bias, but bonds will be formed with others too) with A/B/O dynamics, Vikings influences, with badass but slightly low-esteem oc, stray kids as her platonic family, battle, blood, revenge, game of thrones-esque plot, death and lots of sex.

It will be multi chaptered.

Please share your thoughts and let me know what you think.

P.S. The title means 'to find' in old norse.

SUMMARY- You never really thought that your destiny would take you so far away from home.

CHAPTER 1|CHAPTER-2

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It rains the day you lay eyes on your intended.

In the blood-stained field in front of the castle that you call your home stands him, Kim Namjoon, the biggest warlord the world had ever witnessed. His army consisted of thousands even millions, those savages, as the south would like to call them, were more powerful and disciplined than any army you had ever seen. Their troops were roguish in looks, yes, but their skill in battle was no joke.

Kim Namjoon’s skill in battle was no joke. He fought bare-chested with an axe and a sword; you had heard that he could cut down men with a single sweep of his sword. He was a true demon in battle, as most raiders were, but his skills put the best warriors in your homeland’s army to shame. His great heathen army slaughtered your king’s army by thousands every day, other than leaving hundreds of men injured.

You would know as the chief healer, stitching wounds, cauterizing them, applying salve to burns, cuts were fine. Holding the hands of dying soldiers as they hallucinated their mothers, lovers, wives and sisters was not, not even for someone like you who was used to blood, battle and death.

But you pushed on, for the king, for the country, for the people, you worked day and night you pushed on.

These days the workload had been increased as the king had no taken to treat the prisoners of war as well. The injured and the dying of the heathen army were brought to the camps to get medical assistance if possible and the injured ones were returned to their camps and the dead were returned to the opposing army with respect.

You were not thankful for the workload but what could you do, the king commands and the rest follow.

You were not thankful for the workload but you applauded your king’s nobility nonetheless. Your brother, Christopher Bang was nothing if not noble and kind and humble. Maybe that was why his army were ready to die and kill for him. Maybe it was because he thought of all as equal, be it the duke or the beggar’s son, Alpha, Omega or Beta everyone was equal in the eyes of your Alpha brother.

Maybe that was why you, an Omega, were working in an army camp filled with betas and alphas at all times of the night and day. Maybe that’s why you as an omega, could kill and maim as well as any alpha.

He was strong, your brother, but too kind, too truthful and too righteous for the world that he was in, younger than you but still on the throne for the gods gave him a cock and the second gender of an alpha and you a cunt and the curse of being an omega.

You weren’t brother and sister by blood, you were the orphan the previous king found on a hunting trip, half feral, in the jungle, at the age of seven.  You were brought to the castle, Christopher took one look at your small, slight frame, for he was a giant to you even at the age of five, and decided that you would be his noona. You took his hand and resolved to protect him forever. Nothing much was needed after that.

He deserved better though, you thought. Better than this wretched war and that godforsaken alpha Kim Namjoon who is intent on busting down the doors of your home.

Your name being called out draws you out of your mental reverie.

“Princess, the king calls for you at the front.” Ser Seo Changbin of your brother’s personal guard says.

You finish stitching the heathen soldier’s wound and apply salve and bandage before patting him roughly on the shoulder and getting up.

“What is it?”

“The king calls for you. He did not tell me the reason, your grace.”

You gesture ser Changbin to head the way as you follow him to the wall where your royal brother awaits you. He turns towards you as you come near.

“Leave us.” He commands.

“Is everything alright, my king?”

“Call me Chris, sister, how many do I have to repeat that?” he says.

“When we are alone, my king.”

He sighs, but motions to the battlefield, a far away look in his eyes as he looks down upon the ruin the battle has caused on the once green fields.

“We are not going to be able to defend ourselves for much longer if this goes on, sister, Kim Namjoon gets closer to defeating us every day. We cannot keep going for much longer.” He says. He sounds tired, too tired for someone his age.

“Why don’t you sit on the war council with me sister, we could use your skills?”

“You know why, you might not mind your omega sister, one of common blood at that running around with a sword in her hand, but others do. Alphas do, I would rather die than let anyone of them insult you again after what happened. You know better.” You spoke.

He sighed heavily.

You look at your younger brother, he looks as though the weight of the world sits on his shoulders. It does in some way, you think, this kingdom, as large as it is, it is your world.

His world.

He fights for it today, for its very existence.

Of course, the weight of this responsibility weighs him down. He is fighting, not only for his kingdom, but his world, his home.

“Is it time that we seek a truce with them?” You ask.

“We have no leverage; he knows he can defeat us. He needn’t sue for peace to ask for anything, he can take it, all of it.”

The sun has gone down, you see the enemy camp at a distance, its torches shine bright.

“Then we can only hope to reach stalemate, Chan-ah” You call him by the name your mother called him when she was alive and try to calm him down with your scent.

“I hope so”

He suddenly seizes you by the shoulders and says, “Stay near the battle field tomorrow, sister, I feel that tomorrow might be the day- “he stops, his hands trembling slightly.

“I need you by my side noona, I need you there, the troops need their lioness. I need you, We need you. It could be tomorrow that that godforsaken man would break down the doors of the castle. I don’t care about what happened five years ago on that wretched battlefield. I care about now, about today.”

You looked in the distance. Towards the enemy camp and remembered the amount of injured and dead on your hands, the heavy losses and the weeping mothers, fathers, daughters, sons and wives. You had to be there, if not for your sake then for the sake of your country.

“I will be there Chan-ah. Noona will watch over you. Ask my personal 300 to report.”

He takes you in his arms after that, keeping you in his embrace and you let your forehead rest on his broad chest. He holds you tight enough and breaths your scent in, as if you are the only thing keeping him grounded.

Nothing is said after that, as both of you silently carry the fear of tomorrow in your hearts.

…………………………….

The next day clouds gather in the sky as you don your armour.

You hadn’t stepped in the battle field not since the last war, not after what happened five years ago.

Blood.

All that you could see was blood, it stained everything in sight.

Your hand, your face, your armour, the field around you.

There was a strange ringing in your ears, you moved forward regardless, your axe cutting down everyone and everything that stood in front of you.

A voice called.

You knew that voice.

It was coming nearer.

The person was in front of you.

You swung the axe, but people were suddenly holding you back, you could not move.

The voice was closer, louder, shouting.

“Noona”

You gasped as if you had just broken the surface of the water in the lake and looked around.

You saw worried and slightly horrified looks. You saw your brother looking at you, scared and unsure.

In your daze, in your state of berserk, you had tried to kill your brother.

You hadn’t stepped in war since. You were afraid to lose control, afraid that you would kill your own men in that state.

Being a berserker was not easy, the warrior lost themselves in that state, all that mattered was killing, not injury, not pain, not fatigue, just death. You had been stabbed in the arm and calf that day but you had not stopped your killing spree regardless. The title of lioness bestowed upon you that day and your fame as a berserker had spread far and wide.

Stories were told about the omega berserker who had lost herself and battle and killed half a million people in a single day, who had won the war in a single day. No one had dared to attack your homeland after that, until now.

So, for the sake of the king, your brother, and your people you don the armour you had abandoned.

You sighed and headed to your horse, and followed your brother to the battlefield.

………………………………..

[presidenthades]

Once again, I am doing a series of my behind-the-scenes thoughts for The Golds while I do light edits for formatting, typos, and continuity. Here’s Chapter 10!

For this chapter’s title, I chose the final lyric of “The Song of the Seven”: they see you, little children. The lyric is supposed to mean that the gods are always watching over you. In this fic, Jace and Aegon (and all the Targkids) are constantly being watched by their family, the court, and the realm because they are royal heirs. Although Jace and Aegon are adults by Westerosi standards, they’re still quite young—and now they have a child of their own to protect and watch over.

Aegon mentions in Chapter 6 that Jace hasn’t ugly-cried since she was 7, and now here’s the story! I discussed in previous commentaries how Rhaenyra and Laenor were trying for a son but after Joff was born, they called it quits. Since Joff was born sickly, Rhaenyra was distracted with that for several months. Once Joff was healthy, Rhaenyra decided to tell Jace on her seventh nameday—since seven is a special number in Westeros—about officially being her heir.

Prior to that, Jace is a normal, girly-girl child who’s only worried about games and such. She’s still well-behaved and responsible, but just in the “I need to make sure Luce brushes her teeth” sense rather than the “I have the weight of the realm on my shoulders” sense.

Laenor was like a Disney dad to Jace and Luce. He loved them but was often away living his own life, and when he came back he lavished them with presents to try to make up for it. Jace is careful with the dolls he gives her not only because she’s naturally a careful person, but also because they remind her of her father while he’s away. And to Laenor’s credit, he knows his daughters well enough that he can pick good presents for them. He notices that the dolls never last long in Luce’s hands so he gets less fragile stuff, while for Jace he buys delicate and expensive dolls because he knows she’ll appreciate them. I imagine he picks dolls wearing the clothes and hairstyles of whatever place he’s visiting, so Jace can use the dolls to learn what gowns are fashionable in Lorath or wherever.

Aegon is the eldest Targkid and he’s very important to Jace, so she gives a lot of weight to what he says. And Aegon has said a lot about how it sucks to be the heir and he’s glad he doesn’t have to do it. Now he’s regretting his big mouth 🥲.

Aegon was bad about carrying around handkerchiefs when he was younger, but he was always willing to sacrifice his sleeve if Jace needed it.

Aegon did indeed steal back Jace’s dolls from a 5-year-old, and I’m sure Luce bit him at least once (and yelled for Aemond to come hit Aegon). But once Luce realized how distraught Jace was about the dolls, she was willing to give them up. And Jace is very good about sharing, so Luce knows she can play with them whenever she wants.

Aegon doesn’t understand magic but he fully appreciates Joff’s help during the birth. If she hadn’t gone berserk in the middle of the night, she would have become his new favorite person after Jace and Cheeseball.

Is there symbolism in Aegon undoing his son’s swaddling and telling him “be free”?? Yeah probably.

Aegon was so worried about his influence being bad on the baby, but now he’s so proud and daydreaming about Cheeseball being a troublemaker like himself!

“I won’t be like my father. I’ll be better than him.” Foreshadowing for the rest of the chapter and Aegon’s arc in future fics? Yes it is! Also me pulling in some themes from Greek mythology, where sons becoming more powerful than their fathers is a common trope (Kronos vs his father Ouranos, Zeus vs his father Kronos, Zeus taking great pains to thwart his hypothetical son by his first wife Metis from being born so that son can never overthrow him).

Aegon’s little speech to Cheeseball is basically what Aegon wishes somebody had told him growing up. People called Aegon the future king and had high expectations for him. Aegon can’t stop other people from thinking and saying what they want to think and say, but he can make sure his son knows he has more value than his status as heir.

I’m not 100% sure but I think Aemond was voluntold to transport the egg, and Aemond is secretly pleased by the responsibility. Even though Aemond is awkward around his nephew, he does care about Elenar and he doesn’t want his nephew to grow up dragonless like himself. Aemond is concerned by the seeming imperfection of the egg (just as how he thinks his missing eye is an imperfection), but in the end, that “flaw” is a unique feature that makes the hatchling very special.

I enjoyed writing the juxtaposition of a serious conversation about politics and battle while Aegon is trying to help a baby pass gas 😂. Babies operate on their own timeline, they’re not waiting for the adults to finish speaking. If they need to fart, they need to fart.

Aegon would have been bloodthirsty toward the Tyroshi and Tyrosh in general, but he’s been busy taking care of Jace and then the baby. He prioritized giving attention to his family, and now that he has bandwidth to think about other things, a lot of that initial bloodthirst has died down because…well, Aegon is pretty happy with life right now. Jace is safe and happy, Elenar is safe and happy, so Aegon is content (and it helps that he’s seen what Daemon is doing in the Black Cells). But when Viserys disrupts that happiness, it kickstarts Aegon into action.

Aemond has been thinking a lot about how to avoid marrying Cassandra. His preference would be eloping with Luce, but she has hesitations because she knows his pride will likely lead to the marriage souring. Since he can’t talk her into that right now, he has to think of alternatives. If he remains in Westeros, Viserys could order lords and knights to send Aemond back to KL, which means Aemond would basically have to go rogue with Vhagar. Aemond could go traveling around Essos like many second sons, but that would make him look irresponsible. So he lands on the Stepstones option, which takes him physically far from Viserys’s reach and still allows him to fulfill his duties as a prince and dragonrider. Also, Aegon and Aemond left the Stepstones rather hastily so they could attend Jace and Aegon’s wedding. They arranged a deal with Racallio to make peace, but it ended up being a bandaid solution because Racallio is having trouble now. Aemond likes finishing what he started, so he also has that incentive to return to the Stepstones.

Aegon and Aemond aren’t the kind of guys to have a lot of heart-to-hearts, but Aegon still knows him really well. They aren’t friends, but they’re definitely brothers.

Luce fending off suitors from her island palace while Aemond is away = Penelope and Odysseus vibes, except our Penelope is NOT waiting for 20 years and she has a dragon that can take her places.

In Episode 9, Aemond stopped Aegon from running away from his duty. Here, Aegon is helping Aemond run away from his. Who would’ve thought Aemond would be the one shunning his duty? 🤪

Aegon has learned from his past mistakes. In Chapters 3 and 4, he forgot to communicate with Jace what he was doing, but now he makes sure to keep her apprised of his shenanigans.

Cheeseball being happiest while naked is another trait he shares with his father 😂. Both times when we’re introduced to Aegon (Ep 6 and Ep 8), he’s butt naked. He just seems really chill about casual nudity.

Aegon has been projecting dialogue and thoughts unto Cheeseball ever since he was in the womb, but honestly Aegon is probably accurate 99% of the time what his son is thinking and feeling.

Several months ago I saw a guy waiting in line at a fast-casual restaurant with a newborn, and he just started doing squats to soothe the baby. Hence, Aegon doing squats with Cheeseball and totally not caring that the entire court is watching him.

The Baratheons might be power-hungry, but they are genuinely mourning Floris. Most of them, at least. Cassandra is kinda heartless in F&B, so I could see her excitement about marrying a prince outweighing her grief. She’s done her homework about what (or whom) Aemond likes in the hopes that’ll make him like her better. Unfortunately, her efforts to evoke Luce spur him to flee the country instead 🥲.

Cregan is like twice Aegon’s size, but Aegon is still willing to fight him for hurting Jace’s feelings.

Deep down Viserys knew Jace and Aegon would NOT be happy about the fostering arrangement, and that’s why he didn’t say anything about it until they were at a public event where they can’t make a scene. But Aegon did make a scene, and that’ll be a cue for a lot of courtiers that there might be a schism among the Targs.

Viserys’s dragon dream is different than his show canon one (seeing his son wear the Conqueror’s crown), and what he sees gives him a greater sense of urgency re: the prophecy of the PTWP. He thinks it’s really important that the Targs forge a stronger bond with the Starks ASAP, so he’s speeding up the timeline for a fostering. Ironically, if Viserys set the fostering for age 7 like most, Jace and Aegon probably would’ve been unhappy but more accepting since it’s a normal arrangement. But yeah, this was really bad news for two new parents who just experienced a harrowing birth, and Jace’s emotions especially are still all over the place.

Viserys invoking being Aegon’s father when he’s done a shitty job of it 🫠.

To be fair to Cregan, he doesn’t really want to take Elenar as a ward at all, but like he said, it’s hard to say no to the king. And fostering a future king is supposed to be a huge honor.

In F&B, Baela gets dealt a crappy hand after the Dance. She marries Alyn Velaryon to avoid a worse marriage, but Alyn ends up being a serial cheater 😑. In this verse, with so many other Targ girls ahead of her in the succession for the throne and Driftmark, Baela has the option to not marry at all, especially if she goes the Queensguard route (Daemon would let her, and everyone is still thinking about Jace’s abduction so a sworn shield seems like an excellent idea to most people). But Jace knows Baela is reacting very emotionally right now and she didn’t want to entrap Baela in a lifelong oath she might regret later. For now though, it’s a good path for Baela so she can maintain her independence and stay near her family. Girl just needs to make sure not to enter any rebound relationships…

BTW if Daemon had an enemies list, he probably took the Targbros off but put Cregan on it instead because of the Baela situation.

Now we have a mirror scene of Aegon’s convo with Otto in Chapter 2! In Chapter 2, Aegon leaves the convo determined not to be involved in anything political because he wants to just focus on Jace. Now, Aegon realizes he has to be involved in politics if he wants to achieve what he and Jace want.

Otto truly isn’t happy with the fostering arrangement. The Starks aren’t happy with the Targs right now, and someone cynical might worry how Elenar is treated while he’s far away (he probably can’t even write a letter at age 4 to tell anyone what’s happening). As a prince and heir, Elenar would be accompanied by a household full of trusted servants and caretakers, but it isn’t the same as his own family keeping an eye on him. The North also isn’t a bastion of learning and diplomacy, so Otto is probably worried about what Elenar’s education will be like.

Since there’s so much genderbending in this verse, Targ princes are a hot commodity because there are only three of them in the current generation. Otto likes the Baratheon arrangement, but because Viserys offered Aemond as reparations, it affected how much the Crown could negotiate from the betrothal contract. And like Otto said, bad precedent: “Did the Targs wrong you? That’s ok, you’ll get a royal marriage or ward in exchange.”

I originally wanted another scene with Bethany in this fic but there wasn’t room for it. Her face is scarred very badly, and this hampers her marriage prospects (which is a lot of the value of a highborn girl in Westeros). Remaining as Jace’s LIW sends a message that Bethany is being honored rather than sent away where nobody can see her scars, and if Bethany is unable to marry, she still has a position of status and privilege at court. Bethany’s family isn’t happy about the attack at the Sept, but they’re grateful she at least survived. And since they have close ties to Alicent and Otto, they’re willing to be less grumbly than the Baratheons and Starks.

Otto gives zero credence to things like prophecy, so he is worried Viserys might be suffering a mental decline/break. This especially concerns him after Viserys has publicly declared that as king, his word is law (re: the fostering, but Otto is also thinking about Viserys keeping Rhaenyra as heir).

Otto might not care personally about the smallfolk, but he definitely appreciates the power of popular appeal, which Jace and Aegon have in spades. Otto sees that Aegon has a natural instinct for certain aspects of politics, and he’s frustrated that Aegon refuses to engage unless it’s by accident or at Jace’s behest. Otto knows what Aegon is like, so he pushes all the right buttons to trigger Aegon and motivate him to act.

A lot of Jace’s hangups about food are because of her fear of moon tea. But she wants to overcome that mental roadblock so she can continue with her life, and now moon tea is beneficial rather than harmful. She’ll probably still have some trouble with drinking it, but Aegon will be there to help her, and they’ll probably learn about/invent other contraceptive methods to double up on protection.

Aegon is willing to commit war crimes for Jace and she knows it, but she’s too lawful good to take advantage.

So many commenters were rooting for future Alyssa x Elenar! And at least one person suggested Elenar having a polygamous marriage with both Alyssa and Viserra (Daemon would love that lol). We shall see what happens! The kids are still developing their personalities.

Daemon resigned himself to Jace/Aegon a while ago, and now he’s spying a new opportunity to potentially get his blood on the throne one day 👀. Which means it behooves him to play nice with Aegon, who is understandably suspicious of Daemon being nice to him. I also think Daemon, after his growth arc in the Handbook, would like for his daughters/stepdaughters to have some semblance of happiness. And now that he’s begrudgingly admitted to himself that the Targbros aren’t so bad, he’s kind of insulted that Viserys is just handing out royal princes to any house willy-nilly.

“Much sorrow, many tears.” I haven’t seen Queen Charlotte but I have seen the memes of Charlotte going “sorrows, prayers” constantly. If you’re wondering whether there’s a connection…yes.

Viserys was 100% a snitch when he was growing up.

Joff didn’t have a real first meeting with Elenar. She passed out in the birthing room, and then she had her Exorcist moment that night. She just wants to meet her nephew without any drama 🥺.

Aegon isn’t particularly interested in magic in the first place, and he knows that way lies madness, so he decides the possible benefits of digging for more info aren’t worth the trouble. He’s had two months to let his anger settle and mull over the events. If the candle is the reason for Joff’s behavior, and if Joff is willing to put the candle aside, then he’s willing to move forward and carefully allow her interaction with Elenar as she regains his trust that she won’t act like that again.

Joff can be really sneaky about her words and actions, but she has a pretty strong personal code of conduct. If she did something wrong, she’ll own it, and if she makes a promise, she’s keeping it—which is why she’s so sneaky about it in the first place.

Viserys is not a good father, but generally it IS a father’s duty to arrange a good marriage for his daughter, which is arguably what he did for Helaena. But anyone who knows Helaena’s preferences (so definitely not Viserys) knows that she would hate a marriage taking her away from her family (and Rhaena) and forcing her to have a bunch of children.

It could be argued that it’s unwise for Viserys to wed a female dragonrider outside of the house, and this is true. But options for Helaena’s husband are limited. There are very few Targ princes in this universe. As for the other Valyrian families, the Celtigars are still kinda in disgrace from the Clement incident, and the only Velaryon men are from cadet branches like Vaemond’s sons, who have no inheritance worthy of a king’s daughter. The other option is for Helaena to remain unwed, which is her preference, but Viserys is trying to play politics 😒. At least he could address the dragon issue by declaring that none of Helaena’s children are permitted to have eggs or claim dragons—if he thinks of doing so.

Joff and Daeron are the little siblings trying desperately to keep up with their older siblings, and Aegon is NOT having it.

Before Joff and Daeron were born, Luce was the baby of the royal nursery, so she spent a lot of her early years running after the others. Then after the Driftmark funerals, Aemond and his siblings left with their parents for KL while Rhaenyra and her daughters stayed longer—only for Luce and her sisters to realize they weren’t returning home to KL but moving to Dragonstone. Then of course there was Aemond’s first trip to the Stepstones (I don’t think Luce even had a chance to say goodbye that time). Then when she was fostering at Driftmark, Aemond visited often but had to leave at the end of every visit. So Luce has developed a bit of a complex where she feels like Aemond is always going somewhere and she can’t go with him.

I realized that Aemond ended up being a very important secondary relationship for Aegon in this fic, so I wanted to make sure they got one last scene together. Daeron is also Aegon’s brother but he’s much younger, whereas Aemond has been his partner in crime for most of his life 🥲.

Aegon is actually pretty decent at planning logistics for his schemes. There’s this scene with the council, and earlier in the fic there was the raid on the warehouse, and in the Handbook I feel like he had a strong role in plotting the elopement.

“I am, as ever, your obedient son.” Aegon is so damn sassy in that moment 😭.

Viserys had put all of his children where he thought they belonged in his masterplan (kinda like how he puts all the pieces in his model of Valyria exactly where he thinks they belong), but Aegon (whom Viserys is quick to blame) has upended the board. Now Viserys is wondering if he needs to be worried about what Aegon will be up to in the future…

Is the white raven announcing the end of summer a symbol? 👀👀👀 Honestly this day is probably one for the history books. End of summer, Prince Aemond departs for the Stepstones, Aegon’s nameday, and a new dragon hatches.

The hatchling mostly resembles Sunfyre (like how Elenar mostly resembles Aegon), but with some sunrise coloring as the culmination of all the sun/morning symbolism throughout the fic. The blue eye is like a sign from the universe that even though Aemond is away, he’s still with his family in spirit 🥲.

[cirilla-fiona-riannon]

Chevalier's Sequel Chapter 8 Spoilers

This is a rough translation, so expect grammatical errors. Spoilers ahead.

As soon as he heard my footsteps, the man turned his gaze towards me and smiled.

???: “We meet again.”

Emma: “You are...umm...”

The man had mysterious eyes that captured the starry sky and silver hair that shone when illuminated by the light.

Although he had an unforgettable appearance, I couldn’t remember it.

Azel: “I’m Azel. It’s no wonder you don’t remember me.”

Azel: “After all, this is a dream within a dream, something meant to be forgotten.”

(That’s right, Azel!)

Somewhere in the depths of my mind, fragments of memories flickered faintly.

I could only remember bits and pieces, but I had a similar dream before.

Azel: “By the way, you’re not from Tanzanite, right?”

Azel: “Then there’s no point in being overly polite.”

The gentle atmosphere from earlier suddenly disappeared, and his affectionate smile turned cold.

(He’s as quick to change as ever.)

Azel: “Anyway, did something happen to you?”

Emma: “What do you mean?”

Azel: “Look at the rose.”

He beckoned me, and I quickly walked towards the glass-domed rose.

It looked like a beautiful gemstone similar to a rose used when selecting the king, but something was strange.

Emma: “This is...”

(Some of the rose’s petals are discolored.)

Emma: "Why...?"

(I have no idea.)

(What does the rose's discoloration indicate in the first place?)

I sought an answer in his mystical eyes but was met with a sigh.

Azel: "There's no way I would know. Besides, I have no intention of listening to your troubles."

Azel: "I'm tired of working day in and day out, so let me at least rest in this dream."

(Weird. This is a dream, so he's not supposed to exist.)

Emma: ".........."

Azel: ".........."

Azel: "If you want to think about something, go somewhere else. You're distracting me."

Emma: "But this is my dream."

Azel: "I'm having this dream too."

(This guy is so unreasonable.)

(But I don't think pondering over the rose will lead me to any answers.)

After all, this was just a dream.

I still love Chevalier just the same.

As long as my feelings remained unchanged, maybe I didn't need to worry about it.

(If that's the case, I should focus on something else.)

Emma: "Are you from Tanzanite?"

I asked to distract myself, and he nodded.

(It's strange. I've never met anyone from Tanzanite before, so why does he appear in my dreams?)

(Maybe it's the influence of something I read.)

While I understand that this dream had nothing to do with reality, if the person standing before me was really from Tanzanite, then I need to worry.

Emma: “Speaking of Tanzanite, didn’t you guys recently form a tripartite alliance? Why did that happen?”

Azel: “I never thought I’d discuss politics in a dream. Even if I tell you, you will forget about it.”

Emma: “I still want to hear it.”

Azel: “Alright. I’ll tell you. Consider this my apology since I’m intruding into your dream.”

For some reason, he returned to using honorifics and smiled mysteriously as if a halo was shining behind him.

Azel: “Let’s just say it was due to divination.”

Emma: “Divination?”

Azel: “Yes. In Tanzanite, divination is everything.”

Azel: “Those foolish people, ahem, those devout believers, follow God’s guidance.”

(Ugh, this sounds so fishy.)

(But they say that dreams reflect our subconscious, so maybe I secretly think that way?)

(It’s rude to jump to conclusions, so next time, I’ll study Tanzanite properly.)

Azel: “Although, Achroite and Kogyoku are far more sensible strategic alliances than Tanzanite.”

Azel: “That’s all I can tell you.”

Emma: “..........”

I took a breath, and the divine light that shone from behind him and his gentle smile vanished like an illusion.

Azel: "Since you're worried about the alliance, are you perhaps related to the royal family?"

Emma: "My fiancé is the King."

Azel: "The King's woman..."

Azel: "Oh, I see. You're the famous 'Belle' from Beauty and the Beast."

(Has that story even spread to Tanzanite!?)

(No, that's impossible. This is a dream.)

Azel: "I see. I've heard about your love story."

Azel: "It really is a curse. But I didn't expect it to be a curse involving the country's fate."

(A curse, huh?)

(I remember he said that love is a curse.)

Emma: "I still don't understand."

(I have never felt love as a curse.)

(And never will.)

(So why do I feel so confused?)

Azel: "Think about it."

Azel: "Originally, there was no benefit for the royal family to marry a commoner."

Azel: "And yet, knowing this, the King of Rhodolite chose you to be his wife."

Azel: "That sounds like a story the people would love, but what about reality?"

Azel: "A love affair with a commoner is usually harmful to the king."

Emma: "That's not true!"

Azel: "It happens often. There were stories of kings who destroyed themselves by being in love."

(Chevalier said the same thing when we first met.)

However, the Chevalier now admits that love brings growth.

I feel that way every day too.

Azel: "You stubbornly deny that love is a curse, but can that man choose his country when the time comes?"

Emma: "He can. Prince Chevalier is that kind of person."

(Even if he loves me, that will not change because Chevalier was born a king.)

Azel: "You don't understand the horror of love, do you?"

However, Azel shook his head confidently.

Azel: "The same can be said about you. A queen must prioritize her country's interests alongside the king."

Azel: "When the time comes, can you choose your country's interests?"

Emma: "Of course, I can."

Azel: "Easy for you to say."

Azel: "Let me make a prediction. You will definitely not be able to choose."

(That's not true.)

I tried to respond, but my vision suddenly became distorted.

(Huh?)

Azel: "It's time to wake up."

Azel: "I'll pray that the story of Beauty and the Beast doesn't turn into a tragic love story."