#so help me god or whatever im gonna put it in the tags

[stoopidstapler]

SO IVE BEEN GOIN INSANE SINCE THIS TRAILER DROPPED. JUST. SIMON. SIMON. SIMON.

[luck-of-the-drawings]

[<==PREV PAGES] [NEXT PAGE==>(not out yet.wait a year.or maybe more.imagine.]

saw alot of comments on prev pages; saying 'i HATE that mean teacher! im gonna FIGHT HIM!!' & i LOVE the energy!! it WOULD be nice. to have that catharsis. but the story of young tidestrider is Not one of catharsis. it is a story of being so small and so special and sucking so bad.

[our-inspire-verse]

Come onnnn come ON i had to split him and he Had to be this cheery. Okay then

[chiistarri]

what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group

[icarusredwings]

Snippet of my one fic series im calling

"Finding home."

This comes after DOG TAGS. They're spending the night at the Xmen mansion when someone pays them a visit. Established Poolverine.

Warning: Wade is just.. Wade. Logan (worst wolverine) is learning to stand up for himself, Complicated stuff with Jean Grey and other xmen characters. Post unknown context.

Angst, emotional hurt/comfort, fluff.

Coming into the room, Logan had found Wade lying down. Sprawled out beautifully like a dame in one of those fancy paintings. As if he was worn out. This had pleased him greatly. It meant he had so much fun that he was satisfied with the level of exercise and socialization for today. Something that was a rare sight.

Walking over, he climbed into the bed with a big smirk, pulling him close, underneath him.

“Hey..”

“Hi.”

He chuckled softly, starting to kiss him all over. The kind of kisses that meant he was hungry for something more, already nipping at his lips and his neck. Putting his head back into the silk pillows Wade groaned, putting his hands up to the back of his head, beginning to pet him.

Sliding his shirt up, It wasn't often that Logan let himself wonder so confidently. Which is why Wade whined, his stomach fluttery a bit as he groaned. Maybe it was because Logan was leaving a trail of nips down his abdomen or maybe it was because of how nauseous he was getting, but something wasn't right.

“Oh god. I usually would never in a billion life times say this but.. Stop?” What ever has gotten into Logan had got him good because he only chuckled again and bit his ear, Holding him by the hem of his jeans. “Sorry, Bub, But you're all mine now. Stuck with me. So get used to it because you're gonna be scr-”

“Logan Stop.”

Almost instantly, Like a switch he sat up, No longer touching him. In Fact the look he gave him was filled with concern and almost ashamed for the things he's done. For not stopping the first time. There've been plenty of times where stop didn't actually mean it, but he knew better when it was said in that tone.

This only made Wade pout more. Look at him!! All confident and ready to play the way they've been training his self confidence for. And the dirty talk too? Come on! How he was sitting like this? All obedient and worried for him? Ugh! He only wanted to fuck him more now. It wasn't fair.

“I'm gonna puke.” He stated a quick explanation that made the man frown, his thoughts instantly going to because of him, as if he were too gross to play with, but a single brain cell pipped up as he remembered his dear fiancé was not new to throwing up.

“If… if you don't mind. Do you think we could just cuddle tonight?” He asked, looking almost ashamed of himself too, feeling bad for turning him away.

“Yes. I mean- Of course… Do you want help?” Watching him light up like a puppy with hope to be helpful.

Wade couldn't help but stifle a laugh, giggling after the scoff. “Can you hand me that trash can? And.. maybe look away. Or something.” He muttered, not liking when people saw him so gross, especially not him. No one wanted to kiss you with vomit in your mouth. Within a few seconds, He fetched the trash can, sitting next to him as he rubbed his back.

“You're alright.” He whispered, reassuring Wade that it was okay, that he could do whatever he needed to do, and no one would be mad at him. Sometimes, he became upset with himself for times like this. Thought it ruined the moment, and past shitty hookups have convinced him it was true and his fault.

This was the opposite of looking away, but no one really wanted to be alone when sick.

“You're burning up…” he mummbled, looking away but kept his hand on him as he hurled, gagging and grunting how much he hated doing this.

Listening to him try to catch his breath was the worst part for him, knowing how sensitive he was to unauthorized breath play and cancer didn't exactly believe in safe words.

“I know.. I know.” It took him about a month to finally get it when he first moved in, that Wade wasn't lean and thin because he wanted to be, Rather, he could barely keep anything down some days.

“It's alright. Hey. You're okay. I got you.” He whispers to him. Wade put his head back, tears in his eyes as he breathed deep and slow.

“There we go. Better?”

Starting to nod, this quickly became a shake of his head, putting his head in that trash can again. Oh, the poor thing…

Opening the door, Logan swallowed as he saw her. “Hey…”

To make matters worse, there was a knock at the door. God, they couldn't catch a break, could they? Without even getting a chance to ask, Wade went off to the bathroom, slamming the door. He always did prefer a toilet, really. It's much easier to throw your guts up when you don't have to worry about holding a bucket full of vomit. Much easier to clean up too, just flush it instead of rinsing it and cleaning it with soap.

“Erm.. Hi?”

“Look.. Logan I- We.. we're sorry. For everything.”

Crossing his arms he looked away, leaning against the door frame. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

“Yes. You very much do. You claim that you're different, but the way you've been acting shows that we even hurt you in your timeline, too. So.. While I don't know what we did then, I want us to be on good terms.”

“Us?” He asked, a little confused, shaking his head a bit. “Jean.. that was a long time ago. And you're not even the same person. I'm not even the same person.”

Blinking, Logan looked outside of the door, as if trying to see if there was anyone else. “I'm sorry- this is bothering me. We?? Who's we?”

“I know.. but that doesn't mean we can't apologize... Maybe start over? We would like that."

“Well.. you know how he can be.”

“Jean, Usually when people apologize, they're in person and say it to their face. Not send their pregnant wife to come confront them by herself.”

A Small look of horror came to her face, as if she hadn't told anyone else yet. A look that said ‘How did you know?’ But she only sighed.

“Only ever what mattered…” His nose crinkled a bit, Able to smell it. She wasn't far enough along for him to tell if it was a boy or a girl, but the baby was healthy. That's all that did matter to him. There was nothing wrong with worrying for a friend's child.. was there?

“I never could hide anything from you...Could I?”

“Logan, Please. He really is sorry. He's just.. you know.. with the school and you of all people know how much a man's egos can get in the way of things...” She mumbled, taking his hand, rubbing over his knuckles.

She wasn't even doing anything with her powers, and yet he felt this intense wave of relief fall over him, only for it to be instantly covered with a sense of protectiveness. She always had that effect on him. He wanted to protect her no matter what.

Swallowing again, he pulled his hand away as it started to sweat.

“That's exactly my point.. If he actually was sorry and believed he did do something wrong, He'd be standing here with you, now wouldn't he?”

“That's not-”

“I'm not finished!” He growled, tired of being spoken over. Wade did a hell of a job to connect his emotions to his mouth, and now he wasn't shutting it off. He worked hard to turn his grunts into words. And she would litsen.

Becoming quiet, she nodded, Implying that he could finish without another interruption.

Taking her other hand, he held both of them.

“I know you're an independent woman. You always have been. But you shouldn't have too. You need a man that will not only defend you, but will take care of you, and stand next to you for things like this.”

This speechless promise quickly becomes a lie. “Logan-” Her eyes were almost… hopeful.

Tears welled in her eyes but wouldn't let them drop.

“I'm not that man.” He started, shaking his head slowly as he did, not wanting her to get any ideas.

“Not anymore… Do you understand? Hell, Even Forge stands up for Ororo and would defend her until his last breath despite her practically being an all-powerful weather goddess!... and your husband won't even stand next to you while saying sorry? Think about it.”

“F-for what?”

“Jean, I'm sorry.”

“Because I'm happy. I was never going to fit into your marriage. Not ever. Not… well. At least. Everyone thinks that relationships are finding someone who matches your puzzle piece. When in reality it's finding someone who's willing to change pieces to fit. I mean- I'm engaged now!” He whispered this bit, almost excited, leaning down some to talk to her.

“Is.. he okay?” She asks.

“How crazy is that? The Wolverine settling down? Crazy to think about. And with a dying maniac at that.” He smiles, only to frown, hearing a big cough and a groan of frustration from the bathroom. “Oohh Fuck..” It said.

He now stands, putting his hands in his pockets. “He gets tummy aches.” He lied, whispering. “Gluten sensitivity.”

“Ooh…then why is he-”

Just before she could say it, Wade came out with a stretch, seeming better as he dramatically held his stomach.

“We're pregnant!!”

“No- we are not.”

“Pfft-” snickering some, Logan put his hand to his face, rubbing it embarrassedly.

“Oh we so are! Don't you remember? It's the only reason he's marrying me really. Got me knocked up and now we're having A shotgun wedding. How scandalous! I can see the headlines now.”

“There's not going to be any headlines, you lunatic!” He chuckled, almost at the brink of giggling.

A frown came to her face, only to softly smile.

“... I've never seen you laugh like that before.”

“Huh? Oh… heh.. yeah. I uhm… I didn't know that I could..”

“Hmm.. Well.. I guess I should be going..” She whispered. “Leave you two alone..” Turning to leave, she had mixed feelings about the interaction. Happy for him yes, but also now had other topics to think about.

“Mmh.. Yeah.. Oh- And Jean?”

Turning, the hope in her eyes made him frown, feeling sort of bad for being kind of a jerk to a pregnant lady. “When Scott grows some balls? He knows where to find me.”

Sighing, she nods. “…Goodnight, Logan.”

“ ‘Night.”

Closing the door, he came back to bed, still giggling a bit. “Why did you tell her we're pregnant? I can't get you pregnant, idiot.”

Laying on the bed, Wade looked slightly offended. “Are you calling me a liar!?”

“I'm calling you the biggest liar.”

He shrugged. “Oh well. And who knows? Maybe I got a cancer baby in there or something.”

Rolling his eyes, He climbed under the blanket with him. “Oh shut up. You don't have a cancer baby.”

“You never know…So…marrying a dying maniac?”

“Oh… how much of that did you hear?”

Grunting, He rolled over, Putting his face in his hands again. “Nngh.. I'm sorry.. I didn't mean for you to hear all that..”

“The bathroom has surprisingly thin walls.”

“It's alright. It's always nice knowing that you're just as big of a whore as I am.”

“Hey! Am not! It was just… complicated.”

“That's what whores say when they can't pick one dick to ride” he giggled, Rolling over to climb into his chest, nuzzling up under his chin.

“Are…are you sure you aren't happier... here?” He asked, the questions slipping out.

So many things were running through his mind, things that he probably shouldn't be thinking but he's learned that as long as it stays in his head, no one would get hurt… except.. that was the hard part.

Logan let out a deep sigh. “Wade?”

“I mean- Do you even like that i'm with Vanessa? What were you doing? Being a barrack bunny? But for the mansion? The mansions personally sex pet or some kinky shit like that?”

“Yeah, yeah.. shut up.. I know...”

“Wade.”

“hm?”

“I let you cut up my dog tags…and turn them into a ring”

“Technically Forge did that- actually.”

“.. a ring that you own now.. right?”

“Uh… yes?”

“And dogs go with their tags.. right?”

“I guess so?”

For a few seconds there was silence.

“So what does that mean?”

“25- no! 26. I'm pretty sure it's 26.”

“What?” He laughed. “That wasn't even a math question.”

“Ugh, just tell me. I'm not good at stupid riddles! If I ever met the riddler I'd just shoot him in the face.”

“The who-? erm, nevermind. If the tags belong to me. Yes?”

“Ok..”

“And now you own them. Yeah?”

“Okay..”

“Then that means..”

Blinking, he suddenly gasped a few seconds later, going into a giggle fit as he held him tight. “Oohh!! I wanna get married!”

“We will. Just not yet.”

“Tomorrow!!”

“No-”

“Why!?”

He wasn't tucking and running anymore. He would stay like a loyal mutt. As long as he wore that ring on his finger, he'd follow him. Whether here, or at that shitty apartment. He didn't care which.

“Because.. you deserve a good one. And good ones aren't planned overnight.” Logan smiled.

“And for your information… I was always the Barrack bunny..”

“GASSSP!! No way!! Same!”

“Yeah I figured that much… and.. As for Vanessa? We're inviting her to the wedding right?”

“Obviously. Duh.”

“.. Go ahead and kiss her after me.”

“Shut up and take orders, Wilson.”

“Really? But that’s- I don't think-”

“Yes sir!.. erm... peanut?”

“Do you still want too?....you know”

“Hm?” It was these late night talks that really made him enjoy having him around. The pressure on his chest, the gabbing, the giggles. It made him feel young again.

“Eh.. not really. 'm tired."

“Oh thank god! My stomach is killing me.” He groaned. Shifting them to lay on his side, Logan pulled him close into his chest, rubbing his stomach softly.

“Behave, Jr.” He mumbled, earning himself another laugh and a deep kiss. “Mmh..” intertwining their hands, Wade curled up against him, happy as always just to be next to him.

“...I love you..” Holding him in his arms as he said this, he felt embarrassed and almost.. nervous. As if he wouldn't say it back. But if there was anything about Wade he knew, it's that he'd never skip a beat to reciprocate affection.. something he wasn't used too.

“..How much?” Usually, he wouldn't ask such childish things. But Tonight? He might have needed it.

“I love you too, Logan. A lot.”

“I'd fight the entire world.”

“You do that anyway. More than tacos?”

“Woah there, Angelcakes! Know your place.”

They both laugh, the giggles die down, and snoring replaces the sounds.

[bang-bang-gang]

salt unrelated to the show im watching under the read more

ok like (kayfabe hat on) obvs mina should become aew champion and mariah should beat her for the title with a supprotive toni by her side in wembley but . (kayfabe hat off) obvs mina is gonna lose to toni but people are still speculating about her going to aew full time and i dont. want that.

she’d be booked Really Solidly for a good couple months and then get the same treatment as the other joshis. maybe she gets a proper feud with mariah and/or toni, maybe she gets to build up another star like anna jay or show us a new side of (spins wheel) kiera hogan in a good program. maybe she will be taking on some of the greener but promising girlies like anna and skye and aminata and maybe she’d give tay melo a really good return feud, to help get all these women get their reps in.

but by then tk will get distracted and find another woman to focus on and the evil network or whatever still wont allow them to book the women’s matches for 50% of the screentime so mina gets forgotten. best hope for her is she gets put in a stable with mariah or saraya so she gets to look pretty and dance when she walks them out on the ring (and god she would be GREAT at that dont get me wrong) but she won’t be booked in matches consistently enough for my personal liking.

i just fucking love mina man. i havent kept up on stardom lately so i dont understand why shes in a seemingly random tag match on the conversion (maybe this is why the main champ shouldnt also have a trios belt cause when is maika ever gonna defend that on a ppv?) but she fucking steals the show man. she will put her entire fighting h-cup gravure pussy into whatever match shes in and she never comes across as bored or like she's aware she's on the undercard of a show. aew just doesnt DO enough womens matches to allow for them to put on women that arent in an active storyline (though roh is great for that if you want to see more american womens wrestling!!) and i dont trust tk to book her into good storylines like, a year from now.

[desceros]

*cartwheels into your askbox*

Hi des!!! Can I ask you some stuff from the Truth or Dare ask game? Pretty please with Donnie shaped sprinkles on top?

🍓 🥑 🥤 🍬 🔪 ???

If it's too much then just one of your choice. 🤗

Thank you lovely!!!

i was gonna say no but then i heard the sprinkles were donnie shaped and i mean. who can say no to that, am i right

skipping the ones ive already answered:

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

@luckycharms1701. close proximity, check. access to a trash truck. check. know them well enough to blackmail into not talking. check. they know me well enough that i dont need to blackmail in the first place bc they know whatever bitch i killed probably had it coming. check.

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

i've loved all of blake's fics i've read, so they're top of the list for me. also literally every single thing @gbao3 posts incinerates my eyebrows clean off my face, gotta-draw-em-back-on-donnie-style levels of gone. @yorshie gets my bayverse itch scratched, and i'm a sucker for @luckycharms1701's mikey (which. hey. bestie. have you considered yandere mikey? no? go fuck myself??? wow ok.). outside of turtle stuff, @prolix-yuy is my dealer for pedro fic (which, i swear to god, im gonna finish commenting on them, im just SO swamped rn im so sorry), and @threadbaresweater hits the jjk/chainmain itch for me... i think those are really the only authors per se that i follow. as for fics, literally anything that i put in my fanfic rec tag or bookmark on ao3 is something i'm like, Hell Yeah.

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

rise leo is bisexual, not gay. also everyone knows about it, there's no "omg this bitch gay i knew it," because they're all bisexual too and they all joke about how splinter, who is also bisexual, made all of them like this. except mikey who is demirom/demisexual.

[sillymaxing]

I just found your blog and your writing is SO good omg

May I request platonic yandere future tord with a younger sibling reader?

RAHHHH FIRST SELF INSERT OF THIS BLOG LETS GOOOO!!!!

Platonic Yandere Tord & Younger sibling reader part 1

Gender Neutral reader

Btw, this is kinda like prologue. You don’t actually meet Tord in this part. I PROMISE IM WORKING ON THE NEXT PART. This just started feeling way too long for me.

You were born 8 years after Tord was born.

Growing up with him was filled with bickering, but also a scary undying loyalty from his end.

God, you wish you could go back in time and relive those days. He was your go-to for almost everything. Your best friend.

He moved out to search for apartments when he was 21. You were just about 13 at the time.

House after house, apartment after apartment, Tord had trouble getting on his feet. But throughout your teenage years you stayed in contact. You two stayed very close.

Until one day, when you were turning 18, All of Tord’s social medias seemed to just disappear. You had decided to reach out to him, blowing up his phone, but he never responded. You asked his roommates what happened.

They said he just left in a hurry. He packed his things and was gone.

For a long time you obsessed over finding him. You gave up after a few years.

You moved out when you were 20, able to find your own apartment and get on your feet relatively easily.

You had never forgotten about your brother. The way he abandoned you. Left everything behind.

You knew he wasn’t kidnapped. He obviously took the time and effort to wipe himself off the face of the internet.

And sure, you cried and screamed and threw a fit for a while, but eventually you decided to put it behind you.

Plus, all that is the least of your worries when you start to notice a car outside of your apartment. Tinted windows. You couldn’t see inside. It would park on your street and stay there.

For the next week things felt off. The whole town seemed tense. You would occasionally see strangely dressed figures lurking around town in blue trench coats.

Eventually, someone got out of the car. And they came to your door.

It was a man with an upside-down name tag, you could barely make it out.

He explained to you that your brother wanted to see you. Tord wanted to see you. He explained that you could go willingly or go fighting.

A part of you was curious, but this was certainly an odd way of reaching out. You didn’t trust it.

But still, you complied. Plus, this dude was carrying a gun.

He told you to pack your things. Personal items and any medication. He explained that all toiletries, clothing and food would be covered by Tord.

Something twisted in your gut. Something was wrong. Something told you that you weren’t gonna see this place again.

While packing, you decided to call the cops. The phone call didn’t go through. Actually, nothing seemed to go through to anyone. You tried to reach out for help, but all your communications were seemingly cut.

The man seemed to notice these attempts, but didn’t say anything.

After about 20 minutes, he was ushering you into the backseat of the car. There was another man in the driver’s seat.

He looked serious and mean. Cold. He didn’t even give you a glance.

It was a long drive, and any questions you asked were just met with silence. You tried to open up your door at one point, but it was locked. Child safety or whatever.

Eventually you pass out. It gets late, and you’re just being driven on empty roads.

Of course, eventually you do end up at the Red Army base.

And it isn’t likely that you’ll be leaving anytime soon.

[camilaxmartin]

gonna put them emoji’s again💀😭 so it would be: 🥑🍬🌸🐝🎨🍄

I love using these TOTALLY USEFUL emoji’s so I picked em🥰

you don’t use avocado/bee/mushroom everyday? what are you even doing?🙄

BUT ANYWAY

🥑: you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

probably @bunnylove1 and @blookyag, idk why tho honestly, just getting the vibes they’d help somebody out with hiding the body💀 (it’s a compliment, i swear-)

🍬: post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character:

okay uhh- (don’t cancel me plz) i respect with my whole heart that alastor is asexual and (?) aromantic but i don’t get the hate people receive when shipping him with someone? as far as i know being on the spectrum means he can still date? like i know, he doesn’t show any interest in that but if its just for a silly au or for a cool drawing then what’s the fuss about? i’m not talking like about erasing that part of him because that’s a big no no for me, but like…? respecting it but still having fun with his character? i saw a great tiktok explaining my thoughts exactly so maybe i’ll link it here if i can find it (add the link here later camila:) (besides all that i project a lot of myself onto alastor (still debating if im aromantic or not) and i want to explore myself with his character (if i can even phrase it that way) so all the hate and shit really bother me, you know?)

(another thing more about whole thing not a character is that “whatever it takes” is in my top 4 songs and i don’t get the hate it gets?? i love this song?? it’s so great?? two latina (?) girls singing together?? cmon??)

🌸: do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them:

i do actually! i have a dog and three rats:) (also had a rabbit but he died not so long ago and he was like my whole world so i got a tattoo to remember him, i’ll add it as well just because i can)

🐝: tag your biggest supporters and say one nice thing about them:

@kimmyisachiisaiakuma - ugh of course?? like in my head we are already besties fr fr, what can i saaaay😭 idk i love you and how supportive and just friendly you are!!:) and god of course, i love your art?? but i’ve already said it a thousand times??? so here’s one thousand first??

@bunnylove1 - just how supportive you are towards my stuff and how with exactly one request i felt like we also became besties? maybe it’s just me but yeah😭

@blookyag - liking my every post and responding to every single one of them!!! she’s a treasure, really. i’m surprised someone cares about my rambling this much💀

@informist - i’ve noticed that she’s also reacting to a lot of my stuff and she’s so quick with it like?? idk it makes my heart jump okay? i love attention from people even when it’s just my stupid rambling😭 (#iamanattentionwhore 😗😗)

@rougecreator1 - liked a lot of my posts as well, and somehow i feel like they enjoy my stuff? idk tho?😭😭 yeah just noticed interactions in my activities:)

@riveramorylunar - i feel like we were more active on each other’s accounts when i was still in my lady lesso era, but idk i really liked you then and i still love seeing your stuff pop up on my main page:)

and of course, all of my lovely anons who send me their ideas that i can’t wait to write!!:)

🎨: link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it:

okay so like it changes every day?? but for now i must say this one:

click!

why? simple. a. brokerdoll b. the marvellous style? c. i want to draw like that d. just… just look at it okay? e. lesbians.

(and a special mention for THIS as well, as it’s the first time someone ever drawn my oc and besides the fact that she looks so pretty here it’s just… idk i just love it okay, she stole my heart)

🍄: share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships or pairings:

let’s start with the fact that i even have a favourite account for all the headcanons about brokerdoll which is @vypridae (adore all the hcs, really)

buut! my personal headcanon is:

• carmilla didn’t really expect to fall for velvette, i mean in my head she just saw her as so… respectless and dumb and stupid and careless and carefree and wild and free and pretty- wait

yeah, so in my head velvette was the first to initiate anything and at first carmilla was like “ha! no way, you stupid girl” but then she started to think more and more about velvette as the time went on and one day she just got along the fact that she might be attracted to the young overlord and somehow… went with it? like she didn’t make a big deal out of it… but velvette definitely did, despite the fact she was actually the first one to say or act on her attraction in any way.

(i need to write more headcanons for them, they’re literally eating up my brain)

[dyedfrog]

the ULTIMATE OMORI fanfic recs because one of my favs just ended and it deserves more recognition!!

Okay lets start this off with the one in question (also not in any particular order)

These Days Without You by Smitty1899. absolutely beautiful, please read it this fanfic needs more of a community around it

By Your Side Once More, or, How Sunny Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Occult by Keltikknight. the suzuki siblings and their immaculate sense of humour. thats all i have to say

A New Dawn In Sunless Skies by letos. i wish this one would update again its got such a cool premise.

Sinking and Heroism by TenPes. linking them together because they're not part of a series.

The Faraway Event by kinemortomoli. me putting this here is actually a cry for help. i dont think this fanfic is dead but i cant suffer alone

Tired by Sunburner. this is pretty short and sweet (more like sad, depending on your ending preference)

DEADSPACE by Es_Novels. this one is so eerie as many zombie fanfics are, but i think the imagery makes this one take the cake

Car Trouble by Smitty1899. oh my god

Birthday Picnic by ToxicPineapple. poor kel. he saw mari like a big sister

stuck on one day for the rest of my life by lowbatteryhealth. we as a fandom need more hero angst

Reciting Wrongly by JonRightBackAtcha. not gonna say anything, just read it

Other Half of The Whole by JonRightBackAtcha. did not realise this and 11 were written by the same person. huh.

Fates of Damnation by Anonymous. oh my got two electric boogaloo

heat haze by crowcinthus. as someone who knows nothing about kagerou project wow

The Healing Properties of Reading a Book Out Loud to Your Loved Ones, and Other Domestic Bullshit by Prince_Enby. this ones good even if it hasnt updated in a while

In Which Sunny Is Bad At Naming Things by Prince_Enby. let me introduce you to the chatfic ever

I'll Cherish You Forever by phoeberrie. tiny bit hesitant to recommend this one bc of the themes but there is another fanfic later on this list with similar themes that is basically on every omori rec list ever so just a warning for stalking, obsession and gore. also, heed the tags. its good but not everyone will be comfortable with it.

Sorry as Can Be, For Whatever That Means by JonRightBackAtcha. quite a few fanfics by this author on here. but what can i say, they're great.

sinking. by marlkarx1. this is really good, also pretty dark. heed the tags.

Despite everything by Aisenic_Warrior. another legendary fic with no updates for over a year.

Sometimes a Knife Fight at 3am Can Mend Any Friendship by Shrimp_fry_rice. i dont believe it. you're telling me a shrimp frying rice wrote this fic?

Overwatered Garden by otomerson. rip flower boy lmao (im crying)

Picnic with Mari AU by Gornkleschnitzer. just gonna recommend the whole au

One More Time by GalileoGalilei. think of a 'watching the show' fanfic but its omori post-bad ending. now that i think about it, a version of this fic but they're watching an unserious playthrough on youtube would be kind of funny.

Sometimes Goodbye is a Second Chance by Smitty1899. whatever you're expecting to happen, you're wrong.

Amusia by JonRightBackAtcha. the legend. i wonder how many times this author has appeared on this list.

Kel kicks Sunny's door down by otomerson. attempted hikkikomori route

The Everyday Shenanigans of Something by Practicallyunethical. obsessed with the references in here.

Reality Check, Please by Paramocks. this fanfic has the kind of humour that could kill a christian grandmother.

Endless Dreaming by otomerson. this fanfiction is so beautiful it can make a grown man cry and thats okay (i dont know the quote dont kill me) please read it

Their Time by ShardOfHope. man this fanfic HURTS. you better read it.

The House That Breathes by Shifting_Walls. THIS IS SO GOOD

Broken Space by SpoonusBoius. yes, this fanfic is dark, but i feel people greatly exaggerate it. its not darker than pursuit, don't worry.

The Sun in Another Solar System by TellThemNaegi. if you look through this entire list while only reading one fanfic from here, please let it be this one. i have been totally fixated on this one and it deserves a mini-community of its own just like some other aus.

You're back, Mari by Anonymous. i hope you all expected this one. this is the mentioned one on no.17. im not sure how many trigger warnings i need considering this entire fic is so infamous i'd be shocked if someone didn't know. i don't want to risk spoiling it so just look at the tags. i was debating putting the sequel on here but decided against it. after all, the absolutely visceral reaction the pursuit au can garner from the fandom after just being mentioned probably has enough potential for a case study.

And there it is. the ultimate omori fanfic rec list consisting of 35 fanfic recs (I was originally gonna put way more on here but i got lazy near the end and put only my all time favourites)

[sinfulforrest]

gonna put this under a cut, mentions of strokes and hospital things and just a general cry into the void jdmfm

on Saturday I found my dad having a stroke, like a really really bad one, and honestly the sight I saw will never leave my head I think, I've calmed down a lot since everything transpired and he got taken away to a stroke specialist hospital to get treated, but today is gonna be the first time I go up to the hospital with my mum to see him and im just really nervous about it

I just don't even really know what to say, yknow? I have so much I wanna say but I can't really, the poor bloke is still extremely weak and drowsy from the operation that he had and all the meds and just the fatigue you get when you suffer from shit like that, and I'm also pretty scared that he might not want me or my lil bro to see him in this state, he's one of those guys that cannot show weakness in front of people and absolutely despises bein weak and vulnerable (wonder where I get that from...), and honest to god I think it'd kill me if he got upset with me and my bro

I worry about money cause my dad has a great paying job, whilst the rest of us earn pennies in comparison tbh, because if he gets permanently paralysed then I very very much doubt he'll be able to go back to work, so I'm fuckin praying that when he gets to the physiotherapy and speech therapy side of things that it can help and he can push through like the stubborn ol bastard that I know he is

I just hate that there's nothing really anybody can do, we'll have to wait a good six weeks or so to see what the scale of the damage is on my dad's brain and how much of a hike it'll be for him to get back to a livable state. I just pray to whatever god is out there that he can walk and talk properly again as time goes on, I really miss him not being here swearing his head off and being a grump and it just feels really wrong without his presence bein here

I'm gonna do my best to support my mum and bro though, it's starting to hit my mum a lot now so I'm gonna try and stay strong for her and be optimistic about things. I'll defo be comfort doodlin a lot in the coming weeks I reckon when I regain my energy and can sleep properly, it won't be much but I think that'll help take my mind away from things for a little bit

I think I might reblog this later once I've seen my dad and write my feelings n how it went here too, so if you don't wanna see me clog up your feed just block my tag stuff I guess

make sure to tell your loved ones that you love em, you lot, you never know when horrid shit like this will come outta the blue and sweep em away from you

[lollytea]

Hunter foolishly being worried how willow n dariuses relationship will play out ( sińce they destroyed his ship n he scared her n teammates)

but gosh HE WAS SO WRONG they become besties n obviously both treasure him dearly but sometimes he cannot wrap his head around over their banter/inside jokes. He s glad tho

Also i d love to have Hunter go for advice what prezent to give to willow (he somewhat knows just needs to put his ideas in order) and it ends up with darius picking out the sweater/jacket/dress n Hunter sewing patches/adding on personal details

Hdhdhd adore them being pentagram buddies imagine it starting as missclick on willows part n sending him a dumb meme but they keep chatting from time to time

//you will be the end of me lolly im supposed to be responsible not looking thru your huntlow tag/lh also happy lolly tagged her posts everyone 🎉/lhj

THEYRE SO FUNNY

Like Darius and Willow's relationship is definitely tumultuous and antagonistic and this initially had Hunter very nervous. He had to attempt to be the mediator when the two are about to go at it like feral cats. He's in the middle like "Okay, okay, okay, okay. How about we all just relax?" Only to eventually realize that he does NOT have the social skills to curb whatever the fuck is happening here. If his girlfriend wants to scalp his weekend father, she is far too stubborn to be talked out of it and vice versa. So he has accepted that this is just how its gonna be.

But its so strange because while they bicker constantly, they also seem to have this overly familiar relationship that Hunter doesn't quite understand. He honestly feels pretty locked out of the loop whenever hes with the two but he isn't so much upset by that as he is INSANELY CONFUSED. Like??? What the fuck is going on??? Usually when the three of them are together, Hunter is occupying all his brain power to figure out what the FUCK these two are talking about.

Willow: Boscha keeps vagueing about me on her fensta and it's honestly kinda funny.

Darius: Uck. Well don't just tell me about it. Show me the screenshots. I need to see how petty she's acting.

Hunter: Whats "vagueing"? What's "fensta"? What's a "screenshot"? Why can't you people just use real words?!

Willow: Oh honey, I'm sorry. Well "vagueing" means--

Darius: Google it, gramps.

Willow: Be nice to him.

Hunter: Yeah, be nice to me.

Darius: I am! I just helpfully suggested a place to find answers!

And its shit like. Hunter will show up at Willow's doorstep for a date and just as he's about to knock on the door, Darius will swing it open and stride past him.

Hunter: Darius?!

Darius: Hunter.

Hunter: Wh-you-I-....why were you just in Willow's house?

Darius: Because she's hopeless, that's why. The little purple haired girl is busy today and she needed someone to set her on the right path. Wanted to impress you. Isn't that so very cute? Hair, make-up, outfit, etectera. Of course she didn't care about my plans for the day. Just demanded I get my butt over here and be her little fairy godmother. Real bossy, that girl.

Hunter: Wh--

Darius: Anyway, I did a fantastic job obviously. You're welcome. *Winks and struts away before Hunter can get another word in*

And yes. Yes absolutely. Willow's sixteenth birthday rolls around and Hunter panics big time. Because not only is this her first birthday that he gets to celebrate with her, it's her first birthday he spends as her boyfriend. He knows he wants to patch up a whole dress but it's simply the matter of picking out a dress. And god, if there's one thing Hunter doesn't know shit about, it's fashion.

I feel like, while Hunter is still new to this whole tailoring hobby, Darius is a pro and can probably make some excellent quality clothing. So he makes Willow a dress himself. Hunter helps to the best of his ability.

Hunter: Sorry I think we're just gonna have to buy one. I don't....know her exact measurements.

Darius: That's fine. I do.

Hunter: What?

Darius: I've resized plenty of clothes for her before. That reminds me, I need to teach you to do that. She's only gonna get buffer after all.

Darius makes Hunter promise to not tell Willow who made the dress. ("We can't have her incorrectly assuming I like her.") But Hunter is a SHIT liar so he's just very awkwardly explaining how he just happened to stumble upon it at the market and thought "huh. That would look nice on Willow. Haha....ha."

And of course Willow knows the patches are Hunter's handiwork. But when it comes to the dress itself....

"Wow. It fits me perfectly. It flatters me perfectly. It's my exact style. The colour matches my skin tone. It's...like it was made for me. What a coincidence, huh?"

And Hunter, sweating absolute bullets is like "HAHAH. Yeah. Coincidences are crazy, right?"

Willow decides to let Darius get away with this one. For now. She'll put it in the pocket of her beautifully crafted dress (he put POCKETS in it, holy shit!!!) and use it as leverage once the opportunity arises.

[bettimbellis]

A Collage (of Yelling)

I saw someone do something like this to advertise their fic- they linked the fic, and then put in a little collage of various comment snippets. I can’t find the post to show off- someone please do let me know if you’ve seen that, I want to credit them. 

Either way, my Hollow Knight post-Black-Egg-Temple fic (linked here) has 209 comment threads on it. I’ve gone through and found some bits. These bits were mostly chosen for entertainment/intrigue value out of context- a lot of my favorite comments didn’t get in. 

Got some good reviews there, I think. Anyone wanna see the collection I have of Discord screenshots from folks yelling at me about this fic?  (Seriously though, thank all of y’all who comment, yell in the tags, whatever- I love it. Really helps keep the writing muse going, too.)

Image descriptions below the cut. 

[Image ID: a collection of bits of text placed on a light green background, in several groups. Text is as follows. 

Excuse me who gave you the right to hit me with this line at seven in the morning”, with an arrow pointing to the left. also it feels like there are many things to be concerned about lmao  God, Hollow is such a poor baby. A lanky wet cat left in the rain. Hollow, that feeling is love, dear, no need to feel so confused about it. Hornet, my sad dumb little spider baby, go to bed. in summary holy shit this is fucked sounds like stressTM can these characters stop being so relatable good Lird *smacks my face* Hornet. Hornet. the fuck HOLY FUCKING SHIT [all caps] It was so soft!!!! And then it became *so goddamn angsty-* *squints harder*  Wet rag is my new favorite character. *thunks my head on a wall* Gosh darn it Oro course you had to have integrity But also OW MY HEART?! SHATTERED?1 POOR BABY HOLLOW IM GONNA CRY Gosh dang. The last chapter was a little lighter, but apparently you were just holding back for this one.  (Chp. 3) I stg this whole chapter made my emotions whip back and forth between “awww :)” and “awwh :(” and “oh. Oh no baby do not think like that”.  Augh. just, augh. / ...except that bit at the end. ...except that last sentence, ‘cause, yeah. / *hides face in hands* this has been exhausting for everyone, apparently. Hollow knight or: when you are so touch starved that your standards for touch that you want are somewhere in the abyss that has spawned you.  Whatever the FUCK happened in the last section is Oh Lord Oh God What The Heeeeeellll Ohhhh My Goood No Waaayyyy... Will be waiting for the next chapter STARING at ao3...

i was so relieved to read this that i accidentally put my phone in airplane mode trying to respond “it is startled out of its pleasant memory-” pLEASANT???? PLEASANT!?! Hollow no. HOLLOW NO- / why does this for some reason almost feel like fluff.  My urge to keysmash at you is strong Just. God. Everything about this is so fucked in so many ways.

Something about this line just makes me want to. Maybe stab the king in the chest. Repeatedly. And then throw them off a bridge. Idk Actually many things about this chapter make me want to stab the king in the chest repeatedly and then throw them off a bridge. Because *holy shit* Hollow, honey, you have so much trauma. OMG ghost, what have you done [stressed emoji] Okay then. Well. Um. That’s a lot to happen.  God it’s such a mess Ah yes, the eldritch nonsense trying to approximate a living creature, my beloved PK you ass. PK you absolute ASS get over here I wanna hit you with something heavy-  oh / im immediately punched in the face okay thank you for that Right off the bat I am mildly excited about this chapter solely because you played with text formatting and that makes my serotonin levels rise. I don’t know why but thank you for that.  CONFUSION SOUP I’M FHDHDJFKFKGH I wanna join the cuddle pile :<<< let me in [holding Hollow gently in both hands] / I will get you all the fresh-dirt-scented soap Fucking superb you funky little vessels. Oh boy! Spiraling!

Oh this chapter hurts ‘specially bad. Because it wasn’t enough to be possessed and neglected and quite literally tortured and driven insane, now we gotta have more medical issues and amnesia-  I fuckign cried at this one, oh my god. Pain is always a tearjerker, but it’s nothing compared to someone who’s been in pain so long finally getting that first big moment of *realizing they’re wanted* and *heard* and *healing*  And I gotta say, (this is gonna sound bad) I really do love Hollow’s victim blaming. Or how it’s written. I love how you write characters in pain <333 “Oh, just a quick chapter to read before bed,” I thought to myself. “I will enjoy it and feel a normal and manageable level of emotions about it.” / ...Thanks for making me all teary in the wee hours, now I’ll never get to sleep! (...I mean this as praise.) Oh. Oh Hollow. So wrapped up in the need to be useful. So incapable still of seeing that their own gut-wrenching familial love might be returned in kind, whether they have some designated purpose for their existence or not.  Yeah. Relieved. / Oh, Hollow... You have already left kudos here :) [three times] / Have I ever been told the definition of insanity?  honestly the body horror was the /least/ disturbing thing in this chapter. not to say! that it was not disturbing - even then, less the horror and more the. context. i want to punch TPK. into a lake. that is on fire.

First comment of my first reread, and MAN. This opening hits just as hard the second time.  Keep in mind Hollow Knight was made by Australian people Hollow 100% deserves a nice date at the palace if they so wish. anyway, I feel very emo about Hollow, all the time.  HOLLOW IS LETTING THEMSELVES HAVE WILL, LET’S GOOOOOO Ghost is doing Fine:tm:, Hornet is doing Fine:tm:, Hollow is *actually* doing pretty well Good news! Hollow is an emotional wreck!  Hornet is doing sooo normal right now (lying).

TLDR; amazing story, glorious update, poor Grimm, I Am Desperate For Shield Lore, someone please tell Ghost it isn’t their fault, the entire gaggle of siblings needs a group hug, I Am Going To Put The Pale King’s Corpse Through A Shredder, and Hornet needs another good cry. 

anyways fuck you for writing this keep it up

[whump-queen]

alright here it is~

Whump-Queen Wrapped ✧.* 2022

I posted 2,389 times in 2022

188 posts created (8%)

2,201 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@whumpsday

@emmettnet

@whumpshaped

@whumpwillow

@suspicious-whumping-egg

I tagged 1,950 of my posts in 2022

Only 18% of my posts had no tags

#inspo - 312 posts

#whump prompt - 235 posts

#queue - 175 posts

#whump - 145 posts

#whump art - 120 posts

#whump writing - 106 posts

#whump scenario - 94 posts

#whump prompts - 94 posts

#torture - 80 posts

#akias asks - 77 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#whumper pov just sorta shows up in my brain while i’m writing like ‘hey babe what’s upp bestie were gonna torture some people now uwu ✨💖’

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Seth looking whumpy as hell in last week’s chapter

Normally I’m not much for sick fic but this… this hits different

This doesn’t contain any direct spoilers, but im putting the rest below the cut bc it is from S2 E35… check this last one though :)

See the full post

141 notes - Posted June 30, 2022

#4

❣️New whump picrew tag!❣️

I love this picrew so make yourself or make an oc — idk just express yourself, have fun with it and tag those beloved mutuals!! <3

rip they didn’t let me have my fourth eye

145 notes - Posted November 18, 2022

#3

now get out there and torture your little fictional characters today 💖

353 notes - Posted July 8, 2022

#2

A sense of horror

One of my favorite tropes that I honestly think is pretty underrated is a loved one or an onlooker’s overwhelming sense of horror when they discover what has happened to a protagonist/MC.

Like, a character stumbling in, bleeding and broken, their loved one’s dread building and building as they unwrap the layers of mc’s clothing with shaking hands, only to find more and more and more blood— their panic and anguish overwhelming them when they discover just how deep the injuries go.

MC being brought home after a near-disastrous rescue mission, and the caretaker is finally able to get a good look at their injuries in proper lighting, and the horror hits them like a destructive blast when they see deep, bloody gashes, whip marks crossing along their back, deep cuts and bruises in various stages of healing, a broken bone jutting out awkwardly at an angle it definitely shouldn’t be, and they’re just so overcome with revulsion and terror and heartache at what mc has had to endure. 

And the fact that, that whole time, they had no idea. There was nothing they could do, but god, they didn’t know it could get this bad. 

Or an onlooker, struck with a nauseating realization of how twisted some of their companions can be; the guilt of a bystander a weight that grows and grows, as they wrestle with dueling urges to help and to stay silent. (shoutout to @whumpsday for giving us another perfect example of this trope just yesterday)

Or even a villain/whumper, who agreed to participate in the cruelty, at some point down the line becoming too repulsed by the bloodthirst of their own comrades or fellow whumpers, suddenly unable to look anymore, wracked with guilt and disgust and thoughts of ‘god, what have I done’ 

A caretaker, rescuer, or even a new captor obtaining a whumpee who has been so conditioned by their past abuser that it makes their skin crawl. MC asking, begging to be punished at the slightest perceived mistake, or just bringing their new captor or guardian something to beat them with before falling to their knees. Anything that leaves them horrified, wondering ‘what the hell did they do to you’ yet also being too afraid to ask. The “are you my new master” trope may fall under this category and is also just immaculate. 

God I love this trope, whatever you call it. 

More whump inspo

379 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Y’all.. if you’re following me and your blog looks like this I’m literally begging you to give me something, anything, to indicate you’re a real person and not a bot.

See the full post

448 notes - Posted October 12, 2022

💖💖💕❤️‍🔥💞

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[kokushibouthings]

Stop...

Pairing: Tomura shigaraki x Reader

Color tags: Tomura Shigaraki, Reader, Anonymous

Content: weirdo shiggy, Dub con, Readers cupsize C , Fingering, Over stimulation, Live anonymous sex stuff whatever man

Note: I'm currently suffering in school and I don't know what to write so I'm just gathering inspiration again from a single post I got most likes off, pls like this post if u do. THIS IS COMPLETELY FICTIONAL.

You exit the cafe, after a long group project discussion which is due in the next 2 days...

Tiredly stretching out your limbs, before continuing to walk to a place to wait for a cab you decided to try getting online from a recommendation from one of your friends.

You stare at your phone, getting a call from your cabs driver for some reason... Answering the vibrating phone in hand shortly before lifting it up to your ear.

"Hi, Is this [ ------- ]? Unfortunately your cab driver couldn't make it right now, so as his good friend Ill be taking over for him. Sound alright?" You could hear strain in his voice for some reason at the last bit of words... But chose to ignore it.

You thought about his voice for a bit, It was raspy and a bit odd but you found it a bit hot.. Moving on from that as you shake your head slightly embarrassed to think of that in public as your mind repeats Oh God what if there's someone with a mind reading quirk...that'd be so embarrassing, that'd be so embarrassing...

After a few minutes the cab finally arrived right in front of you, opening the door, getting in it as you put your phone in your bags pocket, then setting your bag aside...

"Hello. You must be thirsty after waiting for quite a long time, here's water. You can drink it if you want to." He offered politely, as he handed a water bottle over. Accepting it like its in your nature quickly not even bothering to think things over just taking a big sip instantly...

You get your phone again from your bag, in the midst of playing an offline game your eyes start to feel heavy. Feeling light headed as your fingers started to go numb. Trying to take a glance at outside after a while of focusing on your game.

Visions to blurry to even tell so you use up the last bits of energy before passing out to say some words... "sorry... I'm a little sleepy so wake me up when we're there.."

You smiled slightly before falling on the couch..? Thing creating a slight thud sound.

...

Your eyes fluttering open, feeling your naked waist being gently caressed with your neck feeling gentle kisses. Finally fully having your conscious back realizing the situation your in

Your own cab drivers cock, sitting still in you. Kissing your neck as he caresses your waist, whimpering as you claw on him trying to get him off of you

"You've been out all day." "Wh– hat the fuck are you doing to me?!" "Mm, A little obvious isn't it?" But honestly... You couldn't help but notice how muscular he looked. Wait why would you even think abo–

Basically being drained off energy from all the shouting and trying to jackhammer your legs and arms even though you're pinned down...you just gave up and melted into the seat with your neck hurting from the position your in.

"You've finally quieted down after like 36 minutes." "Shut up...Im gonna get the cops on you and you'll go to jail.." You whimper constantly in the midst of trying to even say anything and you're out of breathe, what's the point of even resisting anymore anyway...???

Suddenly he pulls out something... A camera? wait why a camera? He can't be recording right? A part of the camera flashed red as he suddenly started to actually move inside of you, and well...

"F..— fuck slow down damn it!" "Ahhnn..~~gyhhgu" "N...nno! shi..Hh- t...ahH!" Not only you were forced into this crap, but you were also being LIVE STREAMED somewhere on a porn site. You didn't know if your face was being included but you couldn't even bother to care right now squirming and crying under his touch. He was touching you in the first place but why does it feel so different now?

"Shhhh... You're safe.. There's nothing to be worried about..." Moving his head closer to you, just to have whisper such a useless reassurement. "Oh, you're such a good fuckin slut. Taking all of me in constantly...dont you agree? <codename>.." He fiddled with your breasts as he pounded you so painfully good almost making you feel like your insides are being stirred.

"Nngh...whhy.. Aahhhng. fe—<gulp>- feels soo... mMMngGhh" tears dripped onto your collarbone, your neck practically getting wet with drool for having your like 6th orgasm...and hes only cummed twice.

After minutes of wet squelching and a huge mess on the seat covers, he groaned and finally shoved it inside of you for a last time then pulling out before getting off of you getting the camera and ending it... But either way, it was almost like youre lifeless at this point to do anything especially moving. Melting into the seat once again passing out.

[alwastakenofc]

RANT INCOMING.

WOWIE ZOWIE it’s a good thing that tumblr keeps u logged in for FOREVER bc i would NOT have remembered that this was my username LMFAOOOO.

anyways !!! i’m just here to rant now to see if it’ll still help me like it used to. just scrolled thru all my personal tagged posts and MAN was i going thru it from 2013-2016 LOL. im glad life is better now. different, but better. me and that guy that i posted abt a lot and would rant abt how he was hanging with that girl all the time broke up in 2016 THANK GOD, that was a sick and toxic and abusive relationship that went way longer than it needed to. i moved back home with my parents and got a few years with both of them before they passed away from different circumstances (fuck alcoholism and fuck cancer). now i live with my roomie/friend and she evicted the other roomie we had that was Toxic As Fuck and a literal Man Child so WAHOO! it’s been nice.

i’m going back to college this year i think, and im both so excited and also Terrified to finish. i only have 1-2 semesters left and then i gotta go get an actual CAREER.

being famous never took off, as expected LMFAO. i don’t stream to get popular anymore, it’s just a genuine hobby i enjoy that gives me an excuse to keep playing video games and having fun. but i don’t mind not having a genuine job off of it anymore; probably should’ve attempted streaming when i was posting abt it so much a decade ago, Honestly Probably Would have taken off a bit more and actually had a chance to make money off it BUT alas, i was too lazy and worried abt public perceptions lmfao

i still have that worry abt public perception especially since i now identify as non-binary (she/they). i wish to be perceived as an amorphous blob that moseys through life, ya know? i only keep the “she/her” pronouns bc a) i’m not fully out to Everyone, and b) i just know some ppl are more used to it and i Do Not mind. i would honestly probably say i don’t prefer ANY pronouns, call me he/she/they i just do Not care, but finding ppl that would reference me as “he” while being respectful just is daunting to think abt and i do not care enough, just call me whatever. but don’t perceive me as a woman exclusively ya know LOL. i don’t identify as a woman or man, i have more feminine days and more masculine days but calling myself a woman sincerely just feels … icky and weird LOL idk like i said. AMORPHOUS BLOB SQUAD, RISE! idk how else to explain it LMAO

also discovered asexuality is a thing like 6-7 years ago which has been LIFE CHANGING !! being told you are broken by ur partner for years, being made to feel like something is Wrong with you because you don’t get why everyone is All About Sex and why tf everyone actually Enjoys Sex…. MANNNNN when i discovered asexuality i don’t think ive ever had a moment in my life where i just said “oh my GOD. it’s ME. i GET MYSELF NOW.” (until i fully understood and embraced being nb about 2 years later lmao). idk i just feel so much more confident in myself and it’s great.

hmmmm what else… i guess i had a stint of struggling with alcohol and weed, but have managed to cut it back. currently on week 2 of no smoking, gonna go a couple more weeks then maybe i’ll buy a pen and edibles. NO MORE DABS! wax just Annihilated my tolerance and not even smoking 3 full joints or eating 250mg of edibles could get me high. it was BAD. but that’s what happens when u do Multiple dabs a day, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. for 5+ years !! sooooooo that’s a thing too now. i try to Only drink on weekends now (and only 2 weekends per month, instead of Every weekend, is the new goal) and know i can’t trust myself to buy alcohol on a weekday and hold it to the weekend, which honestly Go Me for that self reflection and understanding that my brain doesn’t have the ability to Not drink alcohol/do shots if it’s in my fridge lol. well, not yet at least. maybe in a couple months i’ll be able to put some vodka in my fridge on a tuesday and be able to keep it there til the weekend without touching it, but for now i still don’t fully trust myself.

BUT! i’m trying to be healthy! i did get a treadmill and jump rope and even tho ive been neglecting jumping rope (maybe i will today idk maybe not LOL) i do still try to walk on my treadmill at least every other day!! i did a mile walk today and i was So Sweaty lol it’s crazy how outta shape i am but im hoping that cutting down on weed and alcohol helps with that too overall. i miss having abs. i miss not being flabby. i have awful body dysmorphia already bc of my boobs and getting bigger has made Them bigger too and it just makes me feel Horrified when i see myself in the mirror. or see my stomach, or double chin, or jiggly arms, or WHATEVER. i just need to be healthy again UGH. anyways.

MANNNNNNNNN i’m so scared of college LOL. i’m not double majoring anymore (also not even in art college anymore HELLO lmao, i dropped out of art school and got my associates degree from community college then transferred to a university where i was originally double majoring in International Relations and Japanese)! i just am gonna drop my Japanese major down to a minor so i still at least know Some Japanese. and ill study on my own post graduation (I HOPE!!!!!) and get better. i took a 2 year break when my mom died and its just so Daunting to think of going back LOL

i really, really… REALLY need to get better with procrastination and laziness and being at a standstill/comfortable. like, i KNOW there’s more to life but i just. UGH. idk. it’s so Hard after everything that’s happened these last few years. if i didn’t lose my dad in 2018 then my mom in 2022 i think it would be a lot better. HELL, if i didn’t lose my mom to cancer in 2022 things would be SOOOOOO different!! i would’ve probably graduated with my double major and had a kickass job and my mom would’ve seen me walk the stage UGHHHHHHHH ill never forget how i lit said “you prolly won’t see me get married but you gotta stick around to watch me walk the stage” and she said “WHERE ELSE WOULD I GO????” and IDK I JUST WISH I NEVER JINXED IT UGHHHHH. i have a lot of unaddressed trauma from both my parents’ deaths that im sure therapy would definitely help with but FOR NOW, i just gotta get thru college and see wtf is waiting for me on the other side.

ALLLLLRIGHT well this went on a LOT longer than i expected and …… idk if it helped??? idk if i feel any better after typing it all out but MEHHHHHHH. it’s nice to just throw it all out into the ether and not have a ton of questions or assumptions or embarrassment or shame come from feeling like im taking up space. i think that’s been the biggest thing ive struggled with since my mom died; i can’t even post my random thoughts on twitter anymore bc the anxiety of “well who even cares, who would even care about you saying anything, why would you even post at all? what’s the point?” just gets SO damn overwhelming. ive become a COMPLETE recluse and i haven’t done ANYTHING like this rant in at Least half a decade LOL. so. idk.

typing this all out therapeutic in a way but again, i just feel kinda anxious at the same time and idk if it’s really helped me out overall. bc why does anyone care? what’s the point?… but also WHY do i feel like People Need To Care ?!?! why can’t i just go back to my old mindset where i did not give a single fuck about what i posted bc i just liked throwing my thoughts out for everyone to read?!?! idk. maybe tumblr is gonna be the bridge to help me get better with voicing random mundane thoughts that don’t matter in the long run LOL. bc WHY is that so scary to me, man….

ANYWAYS i’m done okay. wowie. what a rant. PHEW.

hope u enjoyed reading about my last 6-7 years 😎