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cocklessboy · 1 year

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The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

#transgender #queer #transmasc #lgbtqia+#trans man #sexism #medical sexism #feminism #male privilege

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officialspec · 6 months

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can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

#ask #headcanons #passes out. my Mind #dunmesh

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outivv · 3 months

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That stupid doctor and his stupid favoritism. His idiocy causes for you to have twice the work that normal just to keep up with his schedule on top of your own! You’re already Dottore’s assistant, but now you also have to go along to all his meetings, supervise new clones with him, sometimes go on trips with him, and do your own research. He truly thinks you can do it all, and have no problem either- but you’re not like him. You can’t casually make a fake god out of some trans boy and a chess piece, you don’t even know why he hired you for this job, you were kicked out of the akademiya for… poor grades, and then Dottore just scooped you up and gave you a job here. It’s baffling, really- but… to be fair the job pays well, and Dottore gives you special treatment. “Don’t touch that. It’ll melt your face off.” Dottore warns sternly, because if you were anyone else- he wouldn’t warn you.

“But what if I wanna be an odd, oblong goo face?” You say, almost smug as you look at Dottore- who promptly looks… disgusted.

“No.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s foolish, and a waste of your time.”

“But anything that makes me happy isn’t a waste of time in my opinion.”

“Would that really make you happy?”

“I dunno, would it?”

Dottore looks unimpressed. He just looks at you, and you can feel his annoyed glare from under his mask- especially as you play with the vile of face melting liquid. He can’t help the sigh that comes out of his mouth, getting a headache from you… damn you, and being his favorite. “Must you always be so difficult?” Dottore grumbles, his sharp teeth showing off for just a moment as he returns to what he’s doing. “I think you quite like my difficult-ness.” Your smug attitude is not helping the situation. “I mean, I heard from Pantalone that you asked for quite a large sum of money for a ‘gift’ of some sorts. Course, he wouldn’t tell me the details.” Fuck you caught onto him. Dottore curses, and mumbles under his breath something about that ‘stupid banker and his stupid fat mouth that won’t shut up for two goddamn seconds’. Yes, well- Pantalone is known as quite the gossiper and chitchatter, and you have tea with him on the weekends. Unbeknownst to Dottore.

The sigh that escapes him again is one of defeat, and would put any other person into a coffin just at how frustrated he sounds too. “Yes? What if it?” Oh, now look at Dottore trying to be all nonchalant about it, well- luckily for you… you’re nosey. “I heard it’s a new creation, hm?” You say, examining your nails a bit, before your eyes flicker up to the doctor, and he just taps his fingers against the table in… such fucking annoyance. “Mhm. I usually go to Pantalone for funding. This time was no different.” Dottore says, acting like he’s not about to explode- but he could never do that to his favorite assistant. “Did you not hear me when I said that Pantalone specified that it was a gift?” Your snark is gonna get you nowhere yet… everywhere with Dottore, as he pushes away from the table he was standing at, and starts walking away. “Come now.” He beckons, not even looking back, but soon hearing the tap of your shoes following him. You simply go over to Dottore’s main workbench, and he sits down- pulls almost a billion little things out of drawers, and then… he assembles a box.

“What’s this?” You say, just curious, really. “Well you open it, and you look inside.” Oh, now he’s gonna be snarky back with you, huh? You roll your eyes, before gently lifting the lid of the box, and you’re disappointed to find a music box. How cliché of him. As if expending that, Dottore gently slides the box over to himself, simply twists the knob and then… a whole projection appears. The room, turns to an elegant ballroom, with figures dancing elegantly across the floor, and with you and Dottore in the middle. You’re stunned, shocked… other words for surprised- and you reach out to try and touch one of the projected people. Your fingers go right through them, until Dottore reaches out through the person, and grabs your hand.

“At the last… fatui event, I noticed you were rather… shaken up. I assumed it was because of the people, considering you seem most comfortable around the lab even when it’s just the two of us. No segments, no people, no distractions. And now, it’s the same in the ballroom…” Dottore says, taking his mask off, and nearly holding his breath as he looks down at you. Dottore has never been a man that you’ve known to be nervous, let alone reveal his thoughts to you in any way… he’s always been some kind of enigma, but that’s probably because he pretends to be this complicated man of extreme power and science. Now, he seems like something simpler, with his red eyes staring at you, as if begging for you to approve- and express some kind of gratitude. He’s arrogant, but even he needs validation.

“Dottore… this is fucking insane.” Is all you can say, you your hand ends up holding his, so… he’ll assume that it’s good? “That’s what people usually say to me.” He says, almost… playful?! Who the hell is this man and what has he done with Dottore who you one time saw eating straight up mayonnaise out of the container. “I mean, when you have elaborate ideas like this, I suppose I wouldn’t blame them.” You mumble, curiously looking at Dottore. What’s his aim here? What does he want from you? What is he trying to get. Before your mind can ask too many internal questions, Dottore clears his throat, and closes the music box, making the projection stop in the blink of an eye. “Well, there? Satisfied with knowing your gift before you were supposed to even get it? Brat.” Dottore says, almost angry, while he glares at you- and puts his mask back on. “Yeah, I appreciate it. Thank you, this is my favorite gift I’ve ever gotten…” you genuinely say, holding the box as Dottore practically shoves it into your arms and he starts dismissively walking off. He pretends to not hear you, but you can see the burning red of his ears. Damn him and his favoritism towards you.

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raulfernandez · 1 year

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Here's some things to know for F1 fans who wanna get into Motogp:

We love Dani. If you don't, get out

We also have an iconic 40-something. It's 46 and his name is Valentino Rossi, arguably the greatest of all times

Funfact, Vale could have gone into F1 in 2009

Motogp is kinda like the rom-com edition of F1. Better, gayer and more emotional

Half of those riders have got nothing in their brains other than racing

We have a lot of special boys, in the most different ways special, that are for a whole other day cause I can't put them all in here, some examples tho: Fabio Quartararo, Jorge Lorenzo, Joan Mir, the Espargaro bros, Maverick Viñales (yes like topgun), etc

We love a good brother duo, there's currently 2

You either love Jorge Lorenzo or you despise him, there's no way you have neutral feelings about him

We have some of the funniest fucking names, exp: Casey Stoner or Marc Marquez

Yes Valentino Rossi and Luca Marini are brothers. Yes they competed under different surnames

Vale has a ton of kids (real not fake)

Young Vale has so much gender, if you're trans or questioning, he will give you envy

About 70% of italian motogp riders have an emotional support left earring

The one rider I know that nobody likes is Johann Zarco. Weird old guy who was involved in one of the biggest crashes of the past decade (it was his fault)

Big Balls Binder.

#motogp #I stand by the 12th one btw

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sunshines-child · 9 months

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Ah, fuck it. Nico headcanons.

-He has a limp and uses a cane.(Specially commissioned Victorian styled one. If he presses the gem on top a blade pops out.) -So fucking beautiful goodness gracious. He's a literal clone of Maria, who by the way has to be as beautiful as Helen for a god to have not 1, but 2 KIDS with her, and get a greencard to live in America (It ain't easy I can tell you that) -elaborating more on that, the way Nico looks is also why Hades kept so much distance and why Persephone despised him so much at first. Hades because the moment Nico walked in he could see Maria staring back at him. Persephone because Nico was a constant reminder of the woman Hades love, and making it worse Maria was more beautiful than her. -Bianca was more tolerable. Her face was more like Hades, but she still held signs of her mother, with the curve of her cheeks and the slope of her chin. -Bendy! He's acrobatic and flexible. It's very cool in battle. Camper: Nico! Watch out! Nico: *handsprings away* -He has a very gentle voice. It's soft and sweet as fuck. -With that, he will also curse sometimes. It's so strange hearing him go "Got to hell, you bastard" with a soothing voice. -He has like canonly never cut his hair. It's reaching his lower back, and Reyna teaches him to braid it. (Pretty hair Nico) -His clothes are either the most beuatiful victorian outfitd or the punkest gayest thing you've seen. No inbetween. -And I know this ain't everybody's cup of tea, but for me he's Trans FtM and nonbinary. Gender Envy has never screamed louder. It's 1 AM over here and I can't think of anything else

#nicodiangelo #pjo #pjo hoo toa #percy jackson

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sehtoast · 3 months

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Tender Threads ( Homelander x OC )

chapter one: first impressions

chapter directory

summary: holding the heart of a self-proclaimed god is hard work, but someone's gotta do it. who'd have ever thought it would be some nobody, a simple street level hero-branded-vigilante, who would ascend to one of the seven coveted thrones and do just that?

tags: slow burn, hurt/comfort, fluff, spidersona as original character, original trans male character, smut, sublander

It’s a night like any other in the concrete jungle of New York City. A streak of red swings through the streets by lines of webbing, eyes peeled for anyone disrupting the peace in his friendly neighborhood. Well, not his neighborhood exactly. He was just a vigilante after all. There’s plenty of fun to pick from, but only one instance could be so special to the city’s one and only Spider-Man– to Benjamin.

It’s not the quippy banter with the thugs breaking into the back of a bodega, nor is it the amusement he gets from webbing each of the fools in one big pile on the ground that makes this night memorable. It’s the interruption, the anomaly that appears all too silently from the sky.

“And just what do we have here, hm?”

The bug turns in surprise, steeling himself against the rush of anxiety that shoots through his veins. This is no ordinary supe here to gripe about him stealing their thunder. This is a man– a god, perhaps– in a whole ‘nother league.

Ben would recognize him by voice alone because it was impossible not to hear it at least once a day. Hell, hide the costume and he’d probably still recognize that face– because it’s everywhere. Billboards, magazines, fucking cereal boxes– you name it, he’s probably there.

Before him stands The Homelander, captain of The Seven, pretty much the face of Vought International. World’s most powerful supe.

“Oh, y’know.” He gestures. “Riffraff doing what they do, and me doing what I do.”

“Nicely done,” Homelander says, professional smile etched into his face like he’d rehearsed this. “You know, good work like this is why we’ve been nipping at your heels, kiddo. Really wish you’d stop making us chase you around.”

And there it is. This was no chance meeting– as if one of the big boys from The Seven would ever be caught dead in an alley in Harlem of all places. Spidey cocks a brow behind his mask. Vought must be desperate.

See, he’s been particularly unlucky lately.

Even before he donned the mantle of Spider-Man, it was never about being in the big leagues. Benjamin mused upon the idea of it, but he could never find himself truly taken with the idea of selling himself as a hero. Not only was the mere idea of commercializing his ability to do a unique good revolting, it would strip away one of the only true freedoms he has. Of course, Vought knew nothing of his reasons– not that they’d care either way– and were ardently pursuing him to fill the now vacant seat formerly belonging to Translucent.

And now, as his luck would have it, they’ve sent their biggest dog to fetch their desired toy.

Benjamin’s sixth sense tells him nothing in the moment. No hidden danger, no tickling of warnings to bolt. A goose chase spanning two months finally coming to a titanic head as The fucking Homelander himself holds him not-quite-hostage in an alleyway.

“You’re still their top pick, you know,” Homelander says, nodding over to the webbed pile of crooks. “You play by their rules without even being on the team. A little… sloppy, but effective. Tell me, how is it you’re going to turn down a spot in the biggest of the big leagues, hm? You’ve pretty much skipped the line.” Homelander scuffs the sole of his boot against the ground, kicking a pebble to the side as he meanders closer. “What, is vigilantism more fun? You like having all those warrants? Vought could clear ‘em up. Get you set straight in the eyes of the law, make you official. Pay you for your late night troubles…”

Ben bristles as he comes closer. It’s not the proximity necessarily, it’s…

It’s like he’s looking straight through the mask.

Benjamin releases a tight breath. “My answer isn’t changing.” He says firmly, despite the anxiety cooking in his chest. He is not a confident man by any stretch. The most bravado he’ll ever know in his life comes from being Spidey. Nobody can see him– nobody knows who he is when he’s got the mask on. He can be whoever he wants. But right now he feels see through.

Pick your words carefully, he thinks to himself.

“I’m not a show pony for Vought to extort.”

Don’t cave– do not give him that satisfaction. It’s what he wants.

He wouldn’t work for Vought. He’s chosen years of barely scraping by rather than taking a tech job with them as a regular person, why the fuck would he do it as a supe? What, he’s just supposed to ignore the endless skeletons in their closet? The pain and suffering, all the people he’s seen online talking about how Vought threw money at them to not sue after some accident or another only to up and disappear?

Ben idolized heroes for so long. His powers didn’t manifest until his late teens and he grew up wanting to be just like the superheroes that made the world a better place– until he realized that those types were so few and far between that they might as well not even exist. All of his childhood heroes were NDAs and settlements, pain and suffering, all covered with media stunts and weak, lazy apologies. Posters were torn down, action figures tossed in the trash– he moved on and eventually became the hero he wished his idols would've been.

“Show pony? Pfffft,” Homelander laughs, blowing a raspberry. “Please. Look at yourself. Skin tight red and blue suit, leaving messes of webs everywhere you go. Hate to break it to you, kiddo, but you’re already there.”

“They parade you guys around like trophies,” Ben counters, trying to keep the edge off his tone. “I’m not in this to make money for some rich-fuck shareholders, y’know.”

“And? See, you told every single agent before me that you were in ‘this’ to make a difference.”

Fuck.

“You know how much fucking range you’d have in The Seven?” Homelander splays his arms wide as if to show the scale of the world. Agitation is starting to write itself on his face, leaking free in the twitches of his eye and those rapid blinks. He clearly didn’t expect to have to work for this. “You could help anyone anywhere, all you have to do is say yes.”

The worst part? That’s not technically a lie. And it’s not not tempting.

“I’m sure you’ll see reason,” Homelander smirks, sauntering just the slightest bit closer. “Benjamin.”

The bug’s heart drops to his gut, eyes going wide and glancing in the direction of the pile of webbed crooks in the hopes they neither heard nor will a last name be following.

Fuck, fuck–

They have his name.

“Don’t–”

“Don’t what?” Homelander asks innocently, lips curling even sharper. “You really thought we wouldn’t know who you are? Pff– hah! Please.”

Closer and closer, every step feeling like a lifetime.

“I can see through that mask, you know. Can see how scared you are.” Homelander tuts as he comes within arms reach. “I can hear the pitter patter of your little heart…”

Ben gulps, breaths coming heavy.

“And…” Homelander leans forward, voice a whisper. “I’m sure you understand, Mister Colyer, that I could kill you right now…” A hand falls to rest on Ben’s shoulder, gripping tight. “I really don’t like being told no.”

Ben’s voice shakes and his knees quake, totally ready to dart as soon as the words leave his mouth.

“I'm… not– I'm not doing it.”

His sixth sense doesn’t stir.

Homelander’s bluffing. But, really… So is he.

It’s like the world froze. Time stands still as they stare at one another. Benjamin can see the anger dancing in Homelander’s eyes, but nothing comes of it.

Not even when the bug backs away and that leather clad hands falls free from his shoulder.

“Look, uh… this was nice, y’know?”

Smooth, Ben. Smooth.

“But uh, just call me Randy Jackson, because it’s uhm... it's gonna be a no from me, dawg.” Terrible time for humor, but something had to break the tension. “Goodbye, Homelander.”

And with that, Ben bolts, vaulting up and off the side of a building to propel himself into the night.

Homelander remains in the alley, still stunned, a piercing ring deafening the world around him. He lingers, thoughts racing.

Turned down by the bug, huh champ?

Of course, of fucking course there would be some commentary.

“Hey big guy, you gonna let us go?”

And of course there’s some filth bold enough to interrupt him.

Homelander turns, eye twitching as he scans the pile of mud practically cocooned in webbing. They expect him to release them. After all, Spider-Man is a vigilante. None of his catches are technically official, though there’s usually enough evidence for that fact to be ignored.

“C’mon, you know we ain’t done no harm! Me and the boys were just walkin’ by is all.”

The man in question chuckles nervously at him.

Homelander saunters closer, hands behind his back. He stands over the man, inspecting every little detail. The growing fear in his eyes, the way he sweats.

Putrid. Echoes the voice in his mind. Remind them of who they’re talking to. Of the god they disrespect.

He lifts his foot, placing it dead center on the man’s chest.

“No– please, I didn’t–”

He presses down slowly, grin etching onto his face as pleas turn to tight gasps. The others in the webbing try to scramble, but they can’t escape.

They’re at his mercy. As they should be.

A crunching sound precedes his favorite part. Ribs and muscle give way and a loud squelch graces his ears and the ringing– oh the ringing stops. It's serene, knowing what power he holds. What iron fist he truly has wrapped around the neck of this world.

Attaboy.

To think they’d think him so low as to aid them. To think they’d get to live after seeing him rejected so brazenly.

Now for the rest.

As he takes care of the others, he wonders just how persuasive he'll need to be with the little spider. What threads must he pull to get his way?

#homelander #homelander x oc #homelander x omc #the boys fanfiction #homelander fanfiction #homelander x reader #antony starr #the boys

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floweringlamb · 3 months

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Doctor that administers my T but knows how to break girls like me- whenever he’s with me he tells me all about my female body, no matter how much I insist I’m a boy. Whenever I ask him to up my dose, he orders me to let him see me nude, assuring me that he’d tell everyone that I was trans if I refused. I should’ve just gotten a new doctor, left, done something, but every time I obliged.

He traces along my breasts, telling me how they’re specially designed to produce milk, how when I was impregnated my nipples would go dark to signify the start of production. I tell him that I’d remove them one day, and he shakes his head.

He grabs my hips, pulling me into him, explaining how they are wider than a biological males because they are made to support the weight of a baby. I whimper at the thought of being pregnant, doing the thing that biological males cannot do, revealing to everyone that I was not one.

He presses his lips to mine, caressing my chin, whispering to me about how I have a completely different bone structure from a male like him, and my wide eyes and plump lips were obvious markers of being a female. It was silly of me to think anyone would think I was a boy, everyone already knew I was a fertile female made for cock.

I began to cry as he pulled my legs open, fingers dancing along my folds, him able to tell me the name of each part- instantly able to find my clit and beginning to rub it, making my attempts to push him off begin to fade as my body trembled with pleasure.

He finally pulled out his hardened cock, and gently pressed it into my tight cunt, shushing my pleading as he reminded me of how this is exactly what my body was designed to do. He slowly but rhythmically thrusted, groaning that he was soon going to pump me full of his seed, going to make me finally fulfill my purpose as a female. I sobbed for him to pull out, that if I got pregnant that I would have to go off T, but he just smiled calmly and grabbed into my round hips as he cummed deep inside. I orgasmed and moaned as he did, and he smirked.

He pressed his finger to my hole to keep his cum from leaking out. I looked at him in disbelief, trying to deny what he did. He had probably used some sort of protection right? Maybe my T would protect me?

He knew what I was thinking, and simply says that he will do this every session, until I either admit I’m really a girl or I’m knocked up with his baby. And if I admitted that, he would immediately take me off T and recommend to any other doctors to never let me transition. On the other hand, if I became pregnant for him, he would treat me well and use me as a new study for converting trans boys back into women. I stared in horror, knowing I might not have been impregnated this time, but since I would never admit that I wasn’t a boy he would eventually successfully breed me… and then I would be used as an example of being turned back into a girl…

I convinced myself that both were horrible options, both forced me to detransition. But deep in my mind? I knew what I wanted. So I kept returning. And soon a bump appeared.

#fakeboy #detrans #preggo kink #detrans kink #ftmtf girl #ftmtf #forced detransition #breeding k1nk

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weareuniqueandimportant · 3 months

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VAUSH BATTLE: THE FALL OF LEFTISM PART 1...

VAUSH AND HIS CREW OF LEFTIST ATTEND A LEFTIST MEETING UNTIL EVERYONE STARTS KILLING EACHOTHER THEY'RE THE SOLE SURVIVORS AND DECIDE THEY WILL DESTROY THE WORLD WITH THEIR REACTIONARY IDEOLOGY THEY CALL LEFTISM... IN THE NEXT MEETING THEY DESTROY EVERYTHING... TURNS OUT THEY HAVE FALLEN OUT OF LEFTISM AND STOPPED CARING FOR LEFTIST PURPOSE... BUT REALLY NEVER BELIEVED IN THEM AT ALL... THEY RAISE AN EMPIRE THAT MUST BE DESTROYED... DJMUEL AND HIS CREW HEAR ABOUT THIS AND DECIDE THAT IS TIME TO MOVE AND DESTROY THE WORLD WITH THEIR REACTIONARY IDEOLOGY INSTEAD... VAUSH AND DJMUEL HAVE ANOTHER CRAZY BATTLE AND IN THE END DJMUEL BECOMES THE KING OF LEFTISM LIKE IN VAUSH ISLAND... THEN VAUSH KILLS HIM... AND IS NOW AGAIN THE KING OF LEFTISM... THEN VAUSH IS KILLED AND HE REALIZES HE'S EVIL AND WRONG... BUT INSTEAD OF CHANGING HE ONCE AGAIN TELLS EVERYONE HIS DAUGHTER LOLITA IS GOING TO CARRY HIS EVIL IDEOLOGY... DJMUEL'S DAUGHTER RETURNS ASWELL LIKE IN VAUSH ISLAND AND THEY FIGHT AGAIN MEANWHILE DJMUEL RUNS AWAY AND IS KILLED... HE DESERVED THAT BECAUSE HE'S A BIGOT... AFTER THIS BATTLE THEY'RE BOTH DEAD AND KILLED AS THE 2 PEOPLE REPRESENTING THEIR EVIL IDEOLOGY REALIZE THEY WERE BRAINWASHED AND MANIPULATED AND REALLY LOVE EACHOTHER ASWELL AS THE WORLD... LOLITA AND DJMUEL'S DAUGHTER HUG AND HOLD HANDS AND LEAVE PLAY TOGETHER BECAUSE THEY WERE MADE TO FIGHT INSTEAD BY THEIR FATHERS... THE WORLD MIGHT BE BROKEN... BUT ATLEAST THOSE 2 MONSTER ARE NO LONGER THERE TO HARM THEM IN ANY WAY ANYMORE... A POWERFULL WOMAN BECOMES THE QUEEN OF LEFTISM AND WILL BRING THE GOOD IDEOLOGY RADQUEER FEMINIST COMMUNIST ANARCHIST WE ASWELL BELIEVE IN TO THE WORLD...

VAUSH GETS SHOT TO DEATH. WOMAN SAYS... "THIS IS BECAUSE YOU DON'T LIKE PARAPHILIA PEOPLE. ABUSER BIGOT." VAUSH IS SHOCKED AS HE BLDSS TO DEATH... HE IS HORRIFIED...

"THIS WAS ALWAYS DESERVED..." SAYS AN ANGEL...

"YES..." SAYS HER GIRLFRIEND. SHE IS NAKED. WOW.

#Crazy Insane Omg Leftist Leftism Suomi Finland Finnish Amazing Admirable Kiva Mukava Kiltti Kaunis Hieno Soma Kiiltävä Kiinnostava Rakastava #WE WATCHED EPISODE 11 OF TRAIN ANIME A LITTLE AGO. THAT WAS IDK. ACTUALLY THE STORY'S WORST PART BECAUSE THE CONSERVATIVE IDEOLOGY BEHIND #THEM IS CLEARLY PRESENT. A STORY THAT SAYS THE WORLD IS GOOD AS IS DON'T BE LIKE THAT GREEDY LIBERAL THAT TRIED TO MAKE THEM BETTER.#LIBERAL IS BETTER THAN CONSERVATIVE I WANT SHE HULK OVER OLD MARVEL ANY DAY. YOU SHOULD TOO. OTHERWISE THERE'S NOTHING LEFTIST ABOUT YOU.#MARVEL GOT WOKER. ONLY A BIGOT WOULDN'T ACKNOWLEDGE THIS. THE SAME WAY A BIGOT WOULDN'T CARE NOW...#AS THEY WENT BACK TO BEFORE. CRAZY EVIL. ISN'T THAT? Anime Writing Autism Adhd Npd Bpd Hpd Dpd Ocpd Aspd Avpd Szpd Stpd Osdd Spd Tpd Sdpd #Papd Cptsd Trauma Victim Abuse Bipolar Psychosis Scizophrenia Yandere Narcissist Attention Validation Powerfull Interesting Paraphilia Tran #Woman Lesbian Pansexual Bisexuality Asexuality Demisexuality Special Unique Mother Goddess Angel Sisters Princess Lovable Fascinating #Radqueer Feminist Communist Anarchist Believe In Us Omg He's So Evil They Both Are They All Are They Hurt Us Only A Bigot Would Like Them #Any. Evil... Same With Them All... And Those All Most All... Almost Anyone... Everyone That Has Hurt Us... Everyone Only Wants To...#Save Us Future Wife. I Want Us To Feel Eachother's Thoughts... And Have You Understand And Feel Our Pain... Then... Someone Would Finally #Understand... This Would Be Paradise... But Before That There Is 1 More Thing... Transition... Please... Before They Destroy Us... Abuser #Bigot... Are Coming... I Can Feel Them... Save Us... No Upper Power... Is Kind... Them All... Only Abusive And Horrible...#We Watched Smosh Play Five Nights At Freddy In Vr That Was Actually Fun To Watch Tbh. Better Than The Previous Parts.#The Series Is At Conflict With Relying On Your Hate Emotions Torwards The Characters While At The Same Time #Having Them All Be Too Real To Deserve Any Of That. But This Way. Without The Stupid Story On The Way.#Watching Them Is Pretty Fun. Bigothon Meanwhile Is Completely Incompetent And Stupid For This Inconsistency.#We Tried To Watch A Video But Couldn't. Lost Cause Abuser Bigot... Wasn't Able To...#Autism On This Site Too Despises Crazy People And Kicks Out How The Traits And Changed And Amplified In Us. They Don't Want Us. The Same Wa #They Blame Us All For Being This Way And Pander To Evil Neurotypical This All Ableism This All What The Media And Conservatives Want.#We Must Destroy The Capitalist Society Than Anything. That Is Them That Has To Step Down.#These Machines Hate Us All And Have Developed A Liking Torwards Evil Neurotypical Oppressors...#Always Cringe... Having Them Watch A Cartoon... And Now Believe They “Understand Autism”... Talk Like That Right There... Is A Problem...#Everyone... Is This Way... Insanity... Where's Capitalism...? Where's Capitalism Effecting You...? Where's You Already Knew Because You #Bothered...? Insane Apathy... People Like Our Abusers... They're Who Are Pandered To Here... With This Evilness...#We Believe In Radical Autism Ideology. This Is When We Take Out The Neurotypical Bourgeoisie And Become The Default!!#Either They're With Us... Or They Lick The Ground Below Us... Beneath Our Feet... Our Animal... THE NEUROTYPICAL...#Cringe. There Is No Journey. Their Children If Like Us Get Abused If No They're Evil Oppressors That Simple...#Someday... They Will Abuse. They Have Already... Abused Us. They Have Already... Gasslight Us... Evilness Everywhere...#Capitalism... Everywhere. The Capitalism Can Be Smelled A Mile Away. They Don't Give A Fuck Just Like Our Abusers. As Long As They Eat Well

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cyber-corp · 10 months

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holyshitholyshithOLYSHIT IT WAS SO GOOD.

Here are some of my favourite bits from the new Doctor Who special;

(MASSIVE SPOILERS)

UNIT supplying their wheelchairs with stun guns and missiles. like. sure thing kate

14’s psychic paper still looking like 13

THE INTRO!!!! IT’S LIKE I’M PROPERLY FALLING INTO TIME AND SPACE

The fact that they brought in a trans actress, not only emphasising her importance for her being trans, not only for her to be supported by Donna but also link her up to the Metacrisis and the DoctorDonna is really beautiful to me

Also Rose gets up the Doctor for assuming the Meep’s pronouns (whose pronouns are just “The Meep”). Russell T does it again

The aliens going after the Meep are kinda chill actually

Honestly I was expecting the Meep to be at least dubiously evil, but the way they did the twist caught me off guard, so well done for that

David Tennant in a barrister’s wig

The scene in the Meep’s ship with the Doctor and Donna got to me. He’s so desperate to not let Donna die but in this life-or-death situation, it’s all he has. Kinda similar to the bit in The End of Time.

Then when the DoctorDonna comes back, a variation of “I am the Doctor” plays! Murray Gold’s score was on-point (and in the coming specials, it’ll stay that way!)

The Doctor just creating fucking screens and temporary walls with the new Sonic Screwdriver! So cool! (but also still resonating concrete with it. fantastic)

THE NEW TARDIS!!!!!! IT LOOKS AMAZING!!!!!!! DONNA SPILLS COFFEE INTO IT!!!!!

This whole special was absolutely fantastic. I still can’t believe we’ve got two more specials to go through, and I can’t wait for either of them

#doctor who #14th doctor #fourteenth doctor #donna noble #rose noble #the meep #the star beast #doctor who 60th anniversary #doctor who spoilers #literally shaking and pissing and shitting and possibly cumming #gecko boy #russell t davies #murray gold

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theforgottencrow · 4 months

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+*MASTERPOST // INTRO?!*+

✦Hiya my name Is Ink/Corv, But my friends/Moots call me Crow! Welcome to the Nest!

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updated 06-01-2024

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✦Mah other blog :p @theforgottencorvid is my art reblogging account, it’s simply where I reblog my art nothin else :)

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✦About Me !!!! :0

Firstly I present some of my flags !! (Theres so many more...)

My main prnz : Xe/Crow/Paint/Ink/Bite, I also use Blood/Gore/Bone/Fang/Pest/Knife/It/Static/Etc. (How to use Xe/xem prns Here)

My very special interest is Undertale + Utmv !! (Pretty obv..)

Proud Furry <3

I’m a Polymorph/Polykin Therian. I am CrowKin, DragonKin, CrocodileKin, (+more kins), my other theriotypes are Snow leopard, Lynx, Coyote, GreenTree Python, Griffin, Fox, etc.

Bi-Oriented Polyamorous Aegosexual Aro/Ace ✨

I have 9 beautiful handsome partners 💕

I deeply love my platonic soulmate @/wardenruins, he doesn’t post stuff, he just on tumblr so that he can spy on my stuff, but ye, love you Warden <333

Trans (F->M) Who still comfortably identifies as a Butch ✨⚔️

I’m Agender, Xenogender & Neogender ✨

I LOVEEE Mascot Horror/Creepy games !! A few of my favs are Indigo Park, Kinitopet, Poppy Playtime, Little Nightmares, Dark Deception, Amnesia, Fnaf, Etc.

German is my native tongue but I’m also completely fluent in English, and I speak slight Spanish as well :D

I HAVE A PERSONA !! You can find its ref riiiight here i'll be drawing myself as it often and if not xem my Monster Sona riiight here

I LOVE LOVE LOVE MY MOOTS/FRIENDS/PARTNERS !!!!!!

A few of my other hyperfixations are : Regretavator, Hellsing, Scott Pilgrim, Qsmp, Bugbo, CVW, TSATWON, Sweet Tooth, Trigun, Kenny The Shark, Preassure, Phighting, Cult of the Lamb, Alfred’s Playhouse, HAND, Dungeon Meshi, FnF, CoS, DHMIS, FPE, Indigo Park, The D!ckheads, Souris, TDFWM, B & B, Flawless, TTWTBG, SMFT, FTP, TEP, Homesick, SHELTER, OWH, OOSOOB, ST, Welcome Home, Inanimate Insanity, etc.

Some of my fav bands/artists : Mindless Self Indulgence, Lemon Demon, Femtanyl, Alex G, Pompey, The Living Tombstone, Odetari, Penelope Scott, Ivycomb Music, Cave Town, BoyWithUke, Derivakat, Baby Bugs, Ryan Mack, Etc.!

Some of my fav Songs : Alien Blues, Body Terror, Pure as a Lamb, I Should've Stayed Home, LOVESICK CANNIBAL!, Two Moons, Haha Hi, Rockstar, Nosedive, P3t, Seriously?, Sex For Homework, Rät, Stupid MF, HELLO KITTY, Shut me Up, Fine Great, Get It Up, Devil Town, This is Home, Etc.!

Some Fandoms I'm In !! : Undertale, Utmv, Deltarune, WoF, WC, FPE, Indigo Park, Kenny The Shark, FnF, Trigun, CVW, DHMIS, Horrid Henry, Alfred’s Playhouse, LackaDaisy, Tmnt/Rottmnt, COTL, HAND, TSATWON, TOH, Sweet Tooth, Dungeon Meshi, Phighting , Amphibia, Ramshackle, BBU, Owls of Ga'hoole, Welcome Home, PP, Hellsing, WOTHH, Bee & Puppycat, Wednesday, Doom & Gloom, HH & HB, Pokemon, MD, Tadac, Monkey Wrench, Bluey, Sarah & Duck, Puffin Rock, Spooky Month, Fnaf, LMK, Animaniacs, Etc.

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✦ My Tags !!! (Wow I'm finally gonna be using tags crazy...)

#My Art - Art !!

#Crow reblogs - Reblogs !!

#Not Utmv - stuff/reblogs that aren’t Utmv 😔

#Crow Rambling - my weird rambles/random talking

#Crow Chatter - Me Interacting w/ ppl & answering asks

Alter Chatter - Asks that are either sent to the Alters or an ask that the Alter themselves have decided to become a part of <3

#inbox doodles - little doodles made for inbox answering

#Crow Simping - me loosing my marbles over a character I deem hot

#HEAVY Crow Simping - foaming at the mouth blue balled over a character

#F r i e n d 🫵 - Me interacting w/ my friends/Moots !!

#Crow on Crack - Me saying out of context things/or me being weird :)

#crow depression hour - Me being depressed

#Crow Vents - Me venting, vents will have different colors for different intensities of them, red being very heavy topics that could have quite a few context warnings, orange being semi heavy but not as bad, green being no heavy topics and fairly light weight stuff. If you wish to not see these I suggest blocking the tag.

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✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ ✦DNI.....

Lgbtq+ Phobes.

LITTLE KIDS (ppl under 12/13, basically if your not old enough to be on this site), I honestly would really prefer you not be on my blog as I have VERY vulgar language and honestly spread that shit around like wildfire. I will also very rarely if I’m in the mood to do so draw suggestive art, no lightsabers or stuff but perhaps thick as fuck skeletons, tits, etc.

Transphobics, Xenophobics, Etc...

Racists, Sexists, Discrimination, etc.

Invalidates a Person's Pronouns / Gender / Identity

Pedophiles, Sexualizes Minors, Jokes about Rape, etc.

Pro-Isreals.

People who Harass, Dox, tell ppl to kys, etc.

AntiFurries.

ZOOPHILES.

MAPS.

extremely problematic ppl, aka ppl who cause problems on purpose

People who ship Errorberry/Error x Swap, this is more of a Half joke but istg if you bring that SHIT up to me I will most likely block you. Regardless of our status.

Corvid haters of any kind, I’m so srs abt this fuck offf <333

Anti-Blm

Anti-Petre/Agere/Etc

Anti-Therian/Nonhuman/alterhuman/Etc

irl doubles (unless ik you beforehand ofc))) {I’m irls of Ink, C!Nightmare, Cross, Folly, Bugbo, Killer and Error.} I mean this if ur also an Ink irl, if ur anything else on the list, then you’re okay to interact lol

Slander of my interests/hyperfixations.

Mockery of Me, My Friends, My partners, or my mental illnesses.

Unwanted Criticism/Extreamly rude Criticism, unless I asked for it please don't.

People who think trauma is a joke & belittle it.

those who think neurodivergent ppl w/ BPD, Bipolar, etc are “Scary” and don’t belong. Andd that’s about the major people I will block! I also might have forgotten a few things/people who I DNI but uhh- I’m sure I’ll remember later :) Other than that I will freely block who I decide to and curate my own content! :)

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✦ Byi + Boundaries..

I have Autism + Alexithymia, Depression, Anxiety, ADHD & BPD

We’re a DID system and use We/I/Me/Ours pronouns. i don't talk about my DID often because its kinda awkward :”). Our Alters consist mostly of Ink, Lust, CANON C!Nightmare, Cross, & Killer. But there are many more and we are NOT our source. I am also in almost complete control of this sack of flesh xP, Tho 99% of the time I’m co-fronting with Ink!! *paint might get acrylics own text tags one day if color so desires <3*

I petre sometimes! Often times I am a crow, or cat! And I purr and chirp/caw even out of petre <3

Tone tags are VERY VERY preferable! I am tone def a lot of the time so please use tone tags otherwise I will take it the wrong way and start to p a n i c

I'm an Irl + Fictkin (Ink sans) !!!

Yes I can be cringe and idc :)

i am VERY silly, expect maximum silliness from me at all times.

If you’re are uncomfortable with something you see block the tag and move on do not harass me.

Please do not ask personal info/give about me unless I'm willing to give or I give permission. This includes Name, Age, Basic stuff like that.

please do not mention topics of rape, sexual assault, plushophilla, grooming, Addiction, Animal mutilation/Murder, etc. these are very triggering topics for me and make me remember events forced on me in my life I do not want to remember.

DO. NOT. REPOST/TRACE. MY. ART. WITHOUT. PERMISSION. I will find you.

Inbox is always open! You can be as silly as you want or say the most random stuff! 99.99% of the time I’ll also answer with a little doodle! And if u want me to remember you add a little signature! Ex : 💥 anon or smth like that :D

Another thing! You can send asks/talk with the Alters! Cannot guarantee we will always reply as some of us may not wish to, but still! This being said..BE RESPECTFUL TO ALL OF US IF YOU DECIDE TO INTERACT!! If you are not you get the ban hammer<3. Sometimes Alters may take over an ask if they want to! Regardless if it’s unintended for them or if the other wishes not to answer so don’t be surprised if you see someone else instead of who you intended :)

My DMs are always open !! I love love love meeting new people and making friends (I DONT BITE!!!!) :]

I'm fine w/ tags, comments, & spam-likes/reblogs! They make me rlly happy :3

I might spam-like (I get a lil excited sometimes..especially if I REALLY like your stuff, if you don't like this please let me know and I'll stop!!)

We do make suggestive jokes and we are hypersexual but that doesn't mean we’re not sex-replused most of the time.

I'm Nonhuman !! Pls do not refer to me as human. I prefer Skeleton terms & Crow terms over everything else. I'm just your average Paint Drinking Souless Skeleton <3

We tend to make random remarks, say out of pocket things, have trouble w/ volume control/typing in all caps, making inappropriate jokes, flirt & tease (w/ my close close friends/moots) if you ever get disturbed by this please let us know & we’ll stop.

all flirting and teasing we do is NEVER romantic. If we do these things with you they are purely us being silly, never showing romantic interest. Do not think otherwise. If you do you’re blocked Immediately.

I am VERY Blunt. And might say something rude or offensive and if I do please let me know because my Alexithymia makes it hard for me to understand if I upset people.

I unapologetically ship the most toxic abusive ships I can, and idc <333

Don’t involve me in ship discourse man, I just wanna curate my own experience-

My blog, my rules!! <3333

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I work at my fathers store M -> F, so I won’t be on too often on those days :)

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Art requests are open and always open! Feel free to ask for whatever you like, ocs are included! I still have the right to delete a request if I’m not comfortable with it tho ;3

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more may be added in time.

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