#so i am going a little insane watching demon slayer for the first time in like a year and hearing only geto

[sashisuse]

if i had a nickel for every time takahiro sakurai voiced a guy with long black hair that he usually kept back and was commonly referred to as an ‘emo boy’ by the fandom AND was commonly shipped with a guy with short white hair whose name started with ‘sa’ and was voiced by kaiji tang in the english dub, i would have two nickels. which isn’t a lot but i’ll take the nickels.

[orcelito]

orcelito's trigun fic recs!

making this for @trigunfanfic's fic appreciation week! this is a nonexhaustive list & not in any particular order (aside from the smut fics, which i separated into another section). just a few fics i rly love & think should get more attention!!

so Here are the multichapters (some of which have smut, but it's not the focus):

someone to last your whole life by catchatter / @needlab7

this one is sooooooooooooooooooooooo 🥺 i was reading it as it was being released and MAN it drove me insane. every bit of the post-trimax love and healing i couldve ever wanted. genuinely one of my fav trigun fics. it's just so well written & evocative. it really does feel like Vash and Wolfwood... and just. aughghghgh im gonna have to reread it sometime bc it truly is something special

CAUSE OF DEATH (See instructions and examples) by neatrogenous / @floofyfluff

this is the other post-trimax fic that Changed My Life. i read it all in one go in one euphoric hyperfocus. i felt every emotion known to mankind. it is just. slkdfjsldfjlskdfj god. i adore how Vash is written here. both of them, really. it just feels so much like them. someday, i will reread this one Too...

Make it to Daybreak by @hypermoyashi (on both ao3 and tumblr)

god. what to say about this one. honestly i have never watched Demon Slayer so going into this fic i was missing that context, but i never felt like i was actually missing out on much. Allen does such a fantastic job at bringing u into the world without having to know anything about it at all. i LOOOOVE demon vash sooo much. so very much. im a little behind on updates rn sldfsdfkj but im excited to catch back up bc everything about this au is just Sooooo fun. everyone potentially interested in Demon Vash should read this. Do it. Right Now. 🥺 pls

Trillium and Ivy by @shastafirecracker (on both ao3 and tumblr)

AUGHHHHHH omfg this one was one of the first fics i read for trigun, and MAN it really set a high bar for me. im a little picky when it comes to modern aus, but this one is just so.... WONDERFUL... i read the entire thing in the first half of my day one day and spent the rest of my day in a fugue state. it was just SO SO SO good. i recently reread it and even having read it before, it was just as wonderful to read. realistic relationship development, compelling Saverem drama, all of it. it's also probably my favorite fic for the depiction of Vash's injury & recovery. the first time i read it i was just blown away by how realistic it felt, right down to the trauma memories of watching bargain bin movies while he was stuck in bed. honestly i could rant for forever about this one lol. it truly is special.

and RELATED TO THAT,,,

Wildflowers, also by ShastaFirecracker

i actually didnt know these 2 fics were written by the same person at first lol. Wildflowers got linked in my trigun server & i checked it out bc Fuck Yeah trans wolfwood. and then had my world just blown away. it's SUCH a good fic, & i really am such a sucker for fantasy au. and i was just absolutely gushing about how realistic the depiction of trans wolfwood was even before i finished the fic. SUCH a great fic. so imagine my surprise & delight when i went back to reread Trillium and Ivy and realized -- OH FUCK, it's by the SAME PERSON !!! such beautiful writing, For Real. i really do love these 2 fics.

Sun, Moon, and Stars by tragic_unpaired_electron (can't find a tumblr link on the fic or ao3 profile, so if anyone knows them feel free to share this with them pls !!)

WOW LOOK it's a fic that doesnt have VW as the main focus!!! unfortunately the only one of those on this list (i May be a tad predictable...), & it really earned its place here. it's just such a fascinating fic that answers the question of What If Tesla Survived? i adore the exploration of her strengths and struggles, as well as her sibling relationship with Knives and Vash. it's so INTERESTING, and it gets into the meat of fighting for the rights of Independent Plants (and plants in general) and just. man. i read this and wanted to devote my life to one Tesla Saverem. she is so precious and hard-headed and SUCH a good big sister. pls do read it, it's such a lovely fic

and NOW...

onto the smut fics lol.

there are Plenty of very good smut fics around, but these are the ones that really stuck with me. either for being Different than the norm, or just being very... well. ya kno lol.

dont worry about the picture this paints of me lmfaoooo

you'll never get enough by tagteamme / @phaltu

AGHHHHHHHHH oh my god this fic made me FEEL things. it's a boxer / gym au, and MAN does it do it well. u get the sweaty gym setting, u get the homoeroticism & horny pining, u get the blatant masochism that drives them both... im just obsessed with it. that stove scene is going to stay with me For Life. & the smut is of course VERY good, but the Vibes... oh the Vibes are so impeccable. obsessed.

there is a season for all things by SolidShrimp (cant find their tumblr on the fic/profile, but i Know ive seen them on tumblr 🤔 if anyone knows their url, pls do me a favor and send this to them!)

THIS ONE.......................... man. man. man. man. like i know xeno is The Average for fandom vash, except the normal flower "plantussy" doesnt really do much for me. im too much of a monster fucker for that i guess. it's not BAD, just not particularly exciting. this, though? now, THIS one left an impression. ive already gushed about it to the writer in the comments of the first fic (havent kept up with the sequel fics, tho i really should catch back up sometime) so i'll keep it brief here. just. such an UTTERLY delightful inhuman vash portrayal, to the point where his reproductive biology is just plain incompatible with Wolfwood & Meryl's (oh yeah, it's mashwood, which is WONDERFUL...). wolfwood and meryl are in over their head trying to figure out how to get vash off in his own way, but they do their Absolute Best!!! it's just rly sweet and i adore the way the writer went Full Ham into the inhuman aspects. utterly delightful.

Kick me once again, and say we'll never part by epsilontauri (doesn't look like they're on tumblr? there's just a link to their twitter on the fic. but if anyone knows them, feel free to send this to them!)

this one is. so. very. AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. ok i will be honest this is probably my favorite vw smut. and it's barely even smut. the sequel is definitely much more sex, but this one is. well. it's some extreme, dangerous, and barely negotiated S&M. as the saying goes, it's neither Safe Or Sane, but it sure is consensual! it's just so. well looking at just the tags sure does reveal it. horrible coping, it's an intense fic, but it's just so.......... DELIGHTFUL........... i really really really love fics that stick to their guns like this. and i love how even though Wolfwood had a GREAT time, we get to see how it kinda freaked Vash out (he did Not like hurting Wolfwood), so the sequel is good for a fic where they're both genuinely having lots of fun. this one is actually rather not fun for Vash. but it's just. it's about the Extremity of it. the Possessiveness. pushing someone to their absolute limits!!!!!!!!! this is another fic that i rambled in the comments about bc. yeah. yeah. it's. just trust me. if ur into fucked up dudes being fucked up dudes, this is the fic for you.

& OKAY i think that's my list. again, it's nonexhaustive, but ive had enough typing i think lol

hope u guys enjoy the recs 🥺

[erensonly]

Cuddle Buddies (Bakugou x Black! Reader)

[series masterlist], [previous chapter], [next chapter]

Chapter 12: Movie Night

WARNING: SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR THE DEMON SLAYER MOVIE. PROCEED WITH CAUTION ⚠️

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Walking out the classroom with Mina's arm wrapped around yours, you continue speaking about your favorite show.

"And then he was like 'I've been using you all this time.' Girl, I was shook-"

"Well, would you look at the failures of class A." Here goes this obsessed weirdo again. Every time you see Monoma, he's saying something about the class.

You and Mina continue to walk. You both are behind everyone else and Bakugou was pretty far ahead with Kirishima, Denki, and Sero.

"Just ignore him bro," you heard Kirishima say to Bakugou.

"What? Don't have anything to say?" He's really starting to get on your nerves but you keep it pushing. But he can't keep his mouth shut to save his life.

"And you Bakugou," he starts, putting emphasis on his name," You're the worst here. Your nasty attitude and boring quirk, I really don't know how you get into U.A." That's it.

Making your way to stand next to Bakugou, you can hear him yelling at Monoma. Something about him being a worthless extra.

"Bakugou, don't even worry about this idiot. He knows nothing."

"And you. You think you know everything, but you're weak. You wouldn't stand a chance against my class. Do you even understand what I'm saying?"

That was the last straw.

"Listen here you dirt neck, untalented, worthless, piece of shit. I don't know who you think you are, and I don't know who you think I am, but I will fuck you and you classmates up."

"If I hear you say something about my class, especially Bakugou, I will whoop you, your classmates, and your teachers' ass so bad they won't come back to school for the next few days. You got that, or do I have to show it to you?"

You felt somebody grab your arm. Not knowing or caring who it was, you shake them off and walk closer to Monoma, poking your finger to his chest.

"You got that bitch boy?"

"Y-yeah."

"That's what the hell I thought."

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Walking away, you make your way to your dorm. You were irritated, offended, and angry. You close your door and just lay there on the bed, trying to calm down.

You just couldn't believe that somebody who talked so much stuff, was so weak. You couldn't wait to get your hands on him. And if any of his classmates had a problem, they can get the same treatment.

(really said hands are rated E for everyone 👩🏾‍💻)

You hear someone open the door. You know that it's Katsuki, but you don't really feel like talking, so you turn around and stay silent.

You feel him lay next to you and cuddle up behind you. "You good?" He sounded kinda concerned but not really. He knew that if you got like this that you would be fine within an hour or so.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"You should've let me beat his ass." That's such a Bakugou thing to say.

"I would've did it first. He deserves it. And next time I see him and he even breathes wrong, I'm whopping his ass."

"Not if I do it first."

Turning over, you scoot closer to Bakugou, nuzzling your face in his chest. "Your tits are bigger than mine 'Tsuki."

Pushing your head away from him, he looks shocked and slightly embarrassed. "What the hell do you mean my tits are bigger than yours? I don't got 'Tits.'"

"Yeah you do. And they're soft and squishy. You gotta drop that work out routine babe."

"Fuck off." He rolled off the bed and started to open the door to leave. You knew he was joking but you still got up and jumped on his back. He stumbled but still caught you.

"Come on thickems. Let's go to the living room and see what everyone else is doing."

He smacked your leg and took off running down the hall to the stairs. "Hold on tight, kay?"

Humming in response, he starts to go down the stairs. Reaching the end of the stairs he runs to the couch, chucking you onto it.

Sitting upright, he sits on your lap, mimicking how you wrap your arms around his neck. Wrapping your arms around his slim waist, you copy how he nuzzles his head into you neck.

"Can I join?" you look down and see that weird pervert.

"Get the hell away from me before I kick your ass you shitty extra."

Raising your leg as much as you could, you kick mineta away from you. He landed near the coffee table.

"Can we join?" This time it was Midoriya and Kirishima.

"No-"

"Yes-" You both said at the same time.

"Why can't they cuddle with us? They can be our little children." You jokingly asked that just to rile him up a little bit.

"Because only I can cuddle you." He gripped you a little tighter.

"Fine. Then let me lay on your lap." He got off of you and lied your head on his lap. Kirishima and Midoriya jumped on the couch. Midoriya put his head on your legs and Kirishima put his head on Bakugou's other leg.

"Get the hell off of me- Get your big ass head of my girlfriend, Deku!" The three of you started to laugh. You all just stayed there and got comfy.

"Kacchan, let's watch a movie," you proposed.

"Let's all watch it with the rest of the class."

Everyone agreeing, you all went off to do your parts of the task. You grabbed snacks, Midoriya grabbed blankets, and Kirishima and Bakugou went to gather everyone in the living area.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Earlier this week everyone in the class had binged Demon Slayer together. Now, it was time to watch the movie.

When you returned to the living room everyone was already there getting into their spots to get comfortable. You, Midoriya and Kirishima got back in your spots snuggling each other.

"Everybody ready?" you asked. Everyone replied yes and you pressed play on the movie.

The movie started off good. A few laughs and chuckles here and there. Some excitement with the fighting scenes. At this point in time, you had gotten to the middle of the movie and nothing too intense had happened yet.

The movie introduced you to the one of main demons of the movie. The room was silent minus some crunching of snacks. Everyone was so enticed and focused on the movie that it was completely silent.

Now it was nearing the end of the movie. They had defeated the weird demon dude, but now Tanjiro was injured. And to their luck, there was now a new demon here.

You moved up a little on Katsuki's lap. You could already feel something bad about to happen. It was way too intense for it not to be something bad. You saw Rengoku fight this insanely strong demon, whilst telling Tanjiro and Inosuke to stay back. He would handle it.

Your heart rate went up a bit, something horrific was about to happen. "Kacchan, I'm worried for him."

"Me too. Don't worry about it too much."

Smoke was all you saw. You thought he had won, but no. He was extremely injured and it was not going well. The demon seemed okay. He was able to regenerate.

Then it happened.

(aye, i'm not finna say too much of you haven't seen it yet, but to tell you how it went. i finished the movie sobbing. literally)

The then silent room was now filled with sniffles and sobs. Why him? Why did they have to take him? You all had grown attached to the characters from the anime as well as this movie and now it was taken away.

The movie was over. Everyone still crying. And by everyone, I mean everyone. Katsuki was trying to hold in his tears and sobs, but it was not happening. By now Midoriya and Kirishima had moved next to each other to cry together.

You climbed on Bakugou's lap and buried your head in his neck, still crying. That's when he finally let go. You both just sat there crying with everyone else.

"Why him?"

"I don't know Katsu."

"They just can't make us get attached and then snatch it away."

" I know."

The wailing had died down and was reduced to sniffles and whispers to each other. Everyone was sad and heartbroken.

"Let's watch something else," Denki proposed. Everyone agreed and you turned on White Chicks. This was their first time seeing it so it was fun watching them laugh at it.

Somewhere in between the movie you must have fallen asleep because now you were in Bakugou's room with him cuddled up to you as well.

You started to regret falling asleep because now you definitely weren't going to be able to sleep for the rest of the night. You grabbed the manga that was on his nightstand and let the sleepless night take you in.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

and that is a wrap. I hope i didn't spoil too much for those who haven't watched it. but a warning, you will cry and if you don't you're a child a satan himself. y'all stay safe and i'll see you soon with another update🖤

[neonoddeye]

Assigning each Loona member with an anime, Part 1

Hello, long time no see! Since LООПΔ is giving us a comeback (and I adore them), I thought I’d return with something for them :)

DISCLAIMER: These are only anime that I’ve seen, so if you think an anime fits a member better than the one I chose, let me know!

Heejin- Cowboy Bebop

Like the quote below suggests, she’s a strong woman that’s kicked ass the longest in the group! I felt like an action anime would fit Heejin well, and Cowboy Bebop is regarded often as one of the greatest in that genre. It’s had a huge influence in pop culture internationally, and can visually be recognized easily, just like our beautiful center!

Hyunjin- The Disastrous Life of Saiki K.

I promise I’m not just giving one of my top 3 anime to my bias lol. Simply, the humor in Saiki K fits her so well. What I love most about Hyunjin is her unique and charming personality; I love the same things about this anime. I don’t watch comedy anime often, but I absolutely fell in love with this one, and I always find myself going back to it. Also, Hyunjin probably has a glow IRL like Teruhashi does bc she’s gorgeous.

Haseul- Your Name

First off, imagine how well “Let me in” would fit into this movie. Like omg, what a beautiful solo with a beautiful anime. Anyway, Haseul deserves a strong, stunning, incredible movie like Your Name. She’s a fantastic leader who has gone through a lot in her career, and has to carry a huge group on her shoulders. This anime is gorgeous yet devastating, set the bar HIGH for romance movies (in my opinion), and made a large impact on many people. Haseul is insanely important to loona as a group, and we don’t know what we’d do without her.

Yeojin- Hunter x Hunter

I am so dead set on this one, no one can convince me otherwise. It’s just perfect for our fun-loving and talented maknae! One thing that really drove me to pick this one was that, like Yeojin, Gon and Killua clearly mature and grow throughout Hunter x Hunter. Given that she’s the youngest member, we’ve gotten to see her turn into a beautiful young woman who never fails to impress me when she’s on stage (like honestly, she’s so underrated come on). Similarly, the main characters in this anime are constantly growing and learning and have been through way too much as children kinda like how Yeojin lost her childhood.

ViVi- Wonder Egg Priority

This anime deserved better. You know who else deserves better? WONG KAHEI FROM LOONA!!! I cannot think about Wonder Egg Priority without remembering its god awful ending, just like how I constantly think about my BIAS NOT GETTING ANY SCREEN TIME OR LINES!!! “Jokes” aside, the little we got from WEP was visually stunning, tragic, and incredible. On top of that, the main girls have it ROUGH; like, this anime is genus only hard to watch sometimes. Need I remind y’all that Vivi arguably had the hardest training period, having released a full Korean solo while STILL LEARNING KOREAN? No one is doing it like her.

Kim Lip- Demon Slayer

I will not lie, Kim Lip was the hardest to give an anime to. I tossed Demon Slayer around to a few members, but I chose it for her due to the impact that both have. I think a lot of orbits can agree with me that Kim Lip single-handedly helped the group rise to fame. A song with NASA? The phrase “Loona is for the gays” coming from Eclipse? Of course I’m giving her one of the most popular anime of our time. Eclipse fancams were as common on Twitter as Nezuko cosplays are at anime conventions. She’s an ace, she’s a great leader (don’t forget how her and Yves stepped up when Haseul was out), and she has a unique and infectious personality! Thank you for your service, Kim Lip.

Sorry for making it a 2-parter, but I wanted 2 pictures for each member, and Tumblr wouldn’t let me :(

[takaraphoenix]

random question but what's your favorite show genres and what's your favorite show in each?

Oh, I love random questions! Huh. Okay so full disclosure I do not know what really counts as "genres", so... let's go by the categories I use to distinguish between them! :D

1. Supernatural: Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Supernatural shows are my favorite genre - vampires, werewolves, witches, hunters, demons. There's so often found family in it, I love magic, I love supernatural creatures. And among them all, BtVS absolutely takes the crown, no other comes close.

2. Fantasy: Relic Hunter

Okay, so... don't ask me to explain the difference I draw between supernatural and fantasy as a genre, since they can greatly overlap - both have witches and werewolves in this case. But... there's a difference, for me? Supernatural shows are usually darker, often with a hunt or be hunted element, with a hefty focus on the supernatural creatures. Fantasy are slightly more whimsical with more focus on the magic and magic users - elves, witches/sorcerers; I'd sort a "Harry Potter" into fantasy because the supernatural elements like werewolves are more a side note and the focus is on witches and a magical world, while "Buffy" has the witch-part more on the sidelines and the focus on the creatures of the night.

I prefer low fantasy over high fantasy, because most high fantasy is just... medievial AU but with dragons... So if I can add dragons to things, I'd prefer to see how they'd affect modern times.

I love Relic Hunter and shows like it - searching for magical artifacts. Childhood favorite that still holds up.

3. SciFi: Stargate SG-1

Okay, this genre is actually tougher. For one, because technically I distinguish it into two categories like I split supernatural from fantasy too, because there's a vast difference between a time travel/alien scifi show and a dystopian future on Earth kind of scifi show. Not too big on the latter, more a fan of the first. And then there are many.

For the longest time, I would have said Doctor Who and while I still very much cherish the 10th era and am enjoying 13 right now, I think that on the overall, the bad outweights the good at this point and if I had to choose only one singular scifi show to watch for the rest of my life, I wouldn't go with this anymore.

It's honestly Stargate SG-1 and I'm kind of surprised by that. Back when I watched it for the first time in 2018, I honestly meant to just waste a bit of time and I wanted something scifi and remembered my parents watching this when I was growing up. I never expected it to be as good as it is and while the last two seasons were a slight overstaying their welcome, it's honestly already impressive that there are 8 thoroughly solid seasons?

4. Comedy: Community

There are so many comedies and I guess you can sub-genre them with all other genres too, but if I had to pick, on the overall of comedy shows, I would pick this one, especially now that I've just finished my rewatch earlier this year and it's still hilarious and holds up.

5. Doctor Drama: Grey's Anatomy

Drama is like the vaguest genre possible, so I always split it up into the different categories - doctor, police, lawyer, fire fighter, family. Among them, medical dramas are my favorite and the clear victor here is Grey's Anatomy, I fell hard in love with the show when I watched it last year.

6. Con Arists: Leverage

This is such a nieche little genre and I only know a handful of shows that even fit into it, but there is something very particularly enjoyable about con artists and Leverage is definitely the best of them all.

7. Lawyer Dramas: For the People

I am so mad they cancelled this show after two seasons already. But yeah I love lawyer shows. And I am hoooping the upcoming one with Dom Sherwood is going to be so good it'll take my number one spot for this genre. Until then, the unique look into the different sides of lawyers and the dynamic among the characters makes For the People my favorite.

8. Magical Girls: Sailor Moon

This just ain't a competition. There have been many magical girl anime, but this is like... the OG. The big one. I will always love Sailor Moon.

9. Sports Anime: Haikyuu!!

Though I still harbor very strong frustration about the way the manga ended, after Sailor Moon this might very well be my most rewatched anime.

10. Cartoon: Recess / DuckTales (2017)

Recess has been my favorite cartoon since I was a child and even on repeated rewatches as an adult it still held up (though it's been a while since I last rewatched it), so I can not dethrone it in good faith, but I'd be lying if I didn't put DuckTales onto the top spot, the love and talent that went into that reboot are insane, the story is so good, it is so much fun and so engaging. Though, as with comedy, you could apply all the genres onto cartoons and do their own whole list honestly, but I generally go by my mood, what I want to watch, and when it comes to that, I've never gone for a fantasy cartoon when I was in the mood for fantasy. I have a specific cartoon mood and that can be satisfied by pretty much all sub-genres.

[aros001]

First time read through light novel vol. 7. Random thoughts.

Through some kind of mistake, Rem had completely accepted Subaru, but he knew all too well that the Subaru Natsuki she saw was an ideal far removed from the real thing. Compared with the man she envisioned in her mind, the cards that the real Subaru held were few in number, and poor in quality—

But he learned, now that he stood at the playing table, no one cared about his personal problems.

All anyone in his position could do was try to win with the cards he was dealt.

This is sign I think Subaru has grown a little bit, though he is still growing. It's not about him, and Ferris later seems like he's trying to drill that into him a bit more later when Subaru wants to help with the battle preparations. It's good that he wants to help but sometimes he's unintentionally making things too much about himself, just to ease his own feelings. There are places where he would be getting in the way if he tried to help and Subaru's learning to accept that; to be patient and give his services where he can actually be of use, not just to help himself feel better. And damn, does he put that new maturity to good use in the big battle.

Originally, these negotiations had been Rem’s appointed duty. He could easily imagine how being unable to divulge her task to Subaru and having to speak with Crusch day after day had whittled away at her spirit.

Subaru had continually rotted by himself while the future of the Emilia camp had been entrusted to her—she must have suffered under that burden.

He hoped that in some small way, this victory repaid the girl whose feelings had supported him for so long; if so, then for the moment, that was enough for Subaru to be happy.

I really like this part. Again, it's not all about Subaru. He's acknowledging how much Rem's had to deal with while he was having his breakdowns and indulgences during his prior loops, and how much she still did what she could to support him in spite of it all. We're getting a little more that she does have a life outside of just Subaru and a little more added on to why he feels he's been so selfish. It really feels like he is now doing this for her. It's not like Subaru was completely self-centered before but I imagine there were times, especially with Emilia, where he wanted to help, but he wanted to be the one to help. He wanted good things for her but part of him cared more that he was the one giving them to her, verses her just getting what she needs in general. It's like how he couldn't feel happy that Otto was in support of Emilia first time he met him, though of course that was when he was at one of his lowest points.

And, of course, I'm absolutely reveling in all the sweetness of Rem supporting Subaru through his negotiations. Even if it's just holding his hand and reminding him she's there, he clearly appreciates the strength and courage it's giving him. Obviously they're not a romantic couple but this is the kind of stuff I love to see in romantic relationships. Just the basic comfort and support they find in each other's presence.

“...If I am gone, will you remember me just as long?”

“...I don’t wanna answer that. It’s bad luck.”

Speaking with a voice of dismay, Subaru gave Rem’s forehead a little poke.

When he touched Rem’s forehead, she smiled with a happy expression, almost as if she’d received the reply she had been hoping for.

Given something I believe I've been spoiled on for what happens later in the story (after where the anime leaves off), this feels like a very cruel monkey's paw bit of foreshadowing.

“Subaru.”

“...What?”

“I am fine with being your second wife.”

They were words to make a man unwittingly halt in his tracks.

When Subaru, unable to resist, looked toward her, Rem made a face like that of an adorable puppy, seemingly wagging her tail as she awaited Subaru’s reply.

Oh, good grief, just how far is this girl gonna—?

“If Emilia-tan’s a very generous first wife...”

“Well then, when we get back you must convince Lady Emilia. I shall try hard as well.”

Rem clenched the hand not grasped into a fist, very animated as she spoke with a smile.

Speaking jokingly like that broke all the tension, driving home to Subaru how weak he was. He truly couldn’t hold a candle to the girl.

I'm...going to have to see where the story goes from here, and how truly joking/serious Rem was with that second wife line. Just to put it out there, I don't really have a good view of polygamy. I'm always going to think that, 1st wife or 2nd or 3rd or wherever, someone is always going to be treated like second best and second priority. What they're receiving doesn't feel like real love and that's not fair to them. The only way I can see myself supporting a polygamous marriage in this series is if it's made clear Emilia and Rem are attracted to each other as well as Subaru and want to bang. Then it at least becomes three people who love each other as opposed to just "the guy and his two prizes".

So, first time you read this part in the novels or watched it in the anime, was anyone else afraid of the White Whale not showing up where and when Subaru told everyone it would? Like the world would just want to gut punch him one more time and have everyone think he's a fraud? I remember I was.

One theory I have for why the witch's scent grows stronger, not just when Subaru RBD, but also when he tries to talk about RBD is that maybe the witch likes when he acknowledges her "gift" to him. But she's also quite screwed up and doesn't like it when he tries to "share" what's between them, thus why she punishes him or those around him for doing so.

In front, behind and up above, he saw yet another whale-shaped figure high in the sky, scattering mist all around.

—The infinite mouths of the three White Whales laughed together, drawing out the despair of men.

Subaru, Crusch, the soldiers, everyone, etc.

Though pests had interrupted it, the White Whale’s mission was to cover the world in mist. This, too, was the command of its instinct, and doing so was the purpose of the White Whale’s existence.

One thing I've enjoyed about the various light novel series I've been reading is that, compared to their anime, I get a better idea of various characters' and monsters' mentalities. The best example I could give would be the goblins in Goblin Slayer (that they are not mindless creatures; that they know EXACTLY what they're doing to people and they enjoy it) and this bit with the White Whale is another good one. It seeks to cover the world in its mist and thus destroy/consume/erase everything (maybe?) And it doesn't know why it seeks to do this. It just does, suggesting there is something else, possibly the one behind its creation, driving it.

It's also interesting that, to the White Whale, the witch's scent is described as foul, despite the stories that she's the one who created it. This brings to mind a couple different theories.

Satella didn't actually create the whale. Someone else, perhaps one of the other six witches did or one of the archbishops.

Satella did create the whale but maybe used one of the other witches to do it. Puck did mention something about Gluttony when he sensed the whale approaching in the last loop.

Satella REALLY cannot tell the difference between positive and negative emotions, even more so than we were already led to believe.

Kind of cruel of Rem to trick Subaru into thinking she was dying, but at least we do get Subaru's completely true feelings out in the open. Back to the polygamy matter, I don't have a problem with Subaru being indecisive between Emilia and Rem or being in love with them both. It's not just that they've done so much for him, in which case the relationship would feel just like how Emilia described, just the two of them repaying debts to each other. Both women have been a hugely positive influence on Subaru's life. They've impacted it for the better and helped push him into being more of a man he can live with being, and it works the other way around too. It would be hard to imagine his story without either of them in it. I feel the same way with Code Geass in regards to CC, Shirley, and Kallen in Lelouch's story. It was the only "harem" series I've ever watched where I had trouble saying who the MC should end up with, because all three were irreplaceable in his life and story. Take any of them out and it loses a lot. Emilia and Rem are a similar case.

As Rem looked back at Subaru, now beside her, large tears filled her blue eyes. It was not being left behind that she feared. No, what she feared more than anything was—

“When you are in distress, Subaru, I want to be the one offering my hand faster than anyone. When you hesitate along your path, I want to be the one pushing on your back. When you challenge something, I want to be at your side, stopping you from shaking. That is—that is all I wish for. So please...”

Again, more great parallels between Subaru and Rem, as this isn't dissimilar to what he wanted to do for Emilia.

Wilhelm might just be the biggest example of a tsundere I've ever seen. Married a woman he loved from the bottom of heart for what was assumedly a decent amount of time...never freaking told her "I love you" until he finally killed the beast that killed her.

As for Theresia, it's definitely a case of why context is so important. She never wanted to be the Sword Saint. She only did so because she found purpose in saving as many lives as she could with the insane power she had (the whole "great power, great responsibility" chestnut). If Wilhelm is strong enough to protect and save people, to where her absence would make no difference, then she doesn't have to be the Sword Saint anymore and can live the life she wants. It's what makes it an actual kindness vs. some chauvinistic BS. Probably helps too that she'd already helped put an end to a long war, so she wouldn't have been needed as much anyway.

“So it is said. The existence and origins of demon beasts are mysteries to us. Some propagate in the same manner as ordinary living creatures, but some suddenly appear out of nowhere like the White Whale. Though, properly speaking, the only exceptions on par with the White Whale are the Black Serpent and the Great Hare.”

Oh...I'm so not looking forward to meeting those two. After how much tragedy just the White Whale caused, what the f**k are those things going to do? My money would be that whatever it is, it will hurt Subaru quite horribly.

This book potentially answered a question I had in my last post. The Witch Cult is after Emilia because they see her as an impostor of the Witch of Envy, or at least so the characters in-story are speculating.

Not sure how many people here are fans of Rising of the Shield Hero but after this I kind of want to see the White Whale and the Spirit Tortoise duke it out. That sounds awesome. Mountain Turtle vs. Witch Fish.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Re_Zero/comments/gub735/novels_first_time_read_through_light_novel_vol_7/

[shychiwrites]

Uzui x Demon Reader

Something I wrote for a secret santa event on a discord server! Just a slight mention of nsfw and some spoilers. 

Word Count: 1207 

You could hardly believe it. The moment Lady Tamayo asked you and Yushiro to help the Demon Slayers with her, you thought she had lost it. However, you agreed. This woman saved your life after all. You traveled in the night, your heart pounding. This was insane, demons in a place filled with demon slayers. Despite that, you pushed your fear down.

When you arrived, your job was to help Lady Tamayo and the Insect Pillar, Shinobu. You were better at tending to the injured, but you figured no one here would be comfortable with a demon tending to their wounds. At night, you’d wonder. It was stupid, sure, but you didn’t get the chance to see many things. By the second night, you met the most beautiful man you had ever seen. He was a retired pillar and the strength he oozed made it obvious. His aura was so intimidating, it suffocated you. Despite that, you found yourself curious and often caught yourself seeking him out. His arm muscles were your favorite. You loved watching them flex, even with the slightest of movements. You wished you could see him train, his sweat glistening in the sun.

Uzui was told about demons helping them and naturally, he didn’t agree with it. However, Nezuko had proven him wrong and if it meant they had a better chance at stopping Muzan, he would take it. He first saw you tending to someone who was wounded. Immediately, he knew you were a demon. The room was dark, only lit with candles. He couldn’t help but notice how attractive you were. He especially loved your eyes. They were calm, yet something about them was alluring. He was surprised to see a demon tending to a human.

“Are you injured?” You didn’t need to look up to know it was him. You finished up with the person you were tending to, giving them a light pat on the back.

“You’re all done.” The person thanked you and quickly walked out, unable to handle the intense stare of the pillar. You turned, forcing yourself to remain calm. You were nervous, scared even, but you couldn’t deny the attraction you felt.

“I am uninjured. Why is a demon tending to the injured?” Uzui finally spoke, taking a single step into the room. He crossed his arms and stared you down.

“They asked me to.” You responded, turning to clean up the medical supplies. You couldn’t take a look at him. It was too much, especially with the intense gaze he was giving you. It was supposed to intimidate you, but he had the opposite effect. His eyes narrowed, but he made no moves. “I’ll be keeping an eye on you.” With that, he turned and left. You had to force not to say that you didn’t mind.

The rest of your interactions consisted of you simply watching each other. Uzui kept his word and maintained a close eye on you. He didn’t trust you at first, no matter what anyone said. He slowly began to see things that changed his mind. You were kind and encouraging to everyone around you. Someone would put themselves down and you would scold them, but gently. You’d shower them with compliments, leaving the person a smiling mess. You always made sure everyone was okay, despite their fear of you. Uzui realized quickly that you put others before yourself. He couldn’t help but admire that.

In turn, it didn’t take you long to figure out how much he cared for others. He put their lives before his own, always. He was harsh, but he really did care. His interactions with his wives made this especially obvious. He was so gentle with them, so soft. He flashed them a smile, a genuine one filled with happiness, and you melted on the spot. Despite him being a pillar and you being the one things these people have sworn to hunt, you had fallen for him.

The first time Uzui realized he loved you, was when he caught you basking in the moonlight. Your eyes were closed, head tilted back. For a split second, he forgot you were a demon. As he approached you, he remembered the curse that was given to you all those years ago. He stopped next to you.

“Do you regret becoming a demon?” He asked, glancing down at you. You didn’t open your eyes, too nervous you’d lose your composure at his beauty. You let out a hum as you thought.

“I do a little, when I think about certain things. I miss the sun’s warmth especially. At the same time, I don’t. When I became a demon, I was dying. If I didn’t become a demon, I wouldn’t have met a lot of people. If I regret becoming a demon, I feel like that would mean I regret meeting them as well. I wouldn’t be here helping all of you.” You explained, opening your eyes and looking up at him. His hair was down, hanging loosely at his shoulders. His gaze hadn’t left you. The moonlight illuminated his muscular arms, which you had to force yourself not to stare at. He was breathtaking. Your gaze was drawn to him and it was so easy to lose track of time once your eyes found him.

“Then, if given the option, would you choose to suffer through all of that again?” He asked. You nodded, giving him a small smile.

“Yes, without hesitation. If it meant I could help prevent others from experiencing Muzan’s terror, I’d become a demon as many times as needed.” At your words, the corners of Uzui’s mouth tilted upwards, “That’s admirable.” He lifted his hand and took a strand of your hair between his fingers. “I expect great things from you then.” He moved his hand down to your chin, gently pulling your face upwards. He leaned down and leaned close to you. Your heart began to pound as his breath fanned your face.

“Maybe if you become human again, I can reward you.” His hand slid from your chin, gently brushing your neck, and sliding down your arm. He picked your hand up, gently kissing it.

“Well then, enjoy your night.” He winked, letting go of you and walked off. You shuddered, craving more of his touch. You barely heard his words over the sound of your heart pounding in your ears.

[animechick2015]

My Hero Academia- My Unwanted, Long Ass Ramble That Absolutely No One Asked For......

So being at home 🏡 due to mostly COVID-19 and a crumbling economy, I decided to rewatch all of my favorite animes, from Bungou Stray Dogs, Inuyasha, Demon Slayer, Fairy Tail and finally My Hero Academia. Once again I was entranced by the bright colors, spectacular animation and lovable characters that Kōhei Horikoshi-Sensei created. But coming to the end of the recent Season 4 a revelation came to me: I just don’t like Deku as the main character 😱.

I know. I know. I must be certifiably insane not to love such a cinnamon roll, with his cute freckles, messy green hair and 1,000,000 megawatt smile. But it’s true. I have no interest with him as the main character. After this new discovery I decided to think why I didn’t like him and the reason was simple: he’s predictable or rather his story is.

From the on set we were told that he’s going to be the greatest hero ever. Every arc that he’s been in he comes out on top with a new increase usage of his power. After finishing Eri’s arc I was just like ‘huh, is it going to be more seasons of this?’ Now for those of you thinking well you just watched the anime, you should read the manga.....I read it religiously every week. It doesn’t matter where I am or what I’m doing you can bet I’ll drop everything I’m doing just to read and re-read that chapter; find myself on tumblr and read all the fan theories and musings about said chapter. So i know what’s going on in the manga and once again I just like meh he’s going to be on top anyways why should I bother getting invested 🤷🏽‍♀️

Dammit Deku don’t look at me like that 🥺.

I still love him and I am proud of how far he’s come but I just can’t find it in myself to get hyped up for him.

So who do I get hyped up for? Well I’m glad you asked ( I know you didn’t but here it is anyway hehe)

Bakugo Katsuki

The gremlin of Class 1-A. King Explosion Murder. Future Number 1 Hero (I wish). Before anyone can finish asking who my favorite character is in MHA I’ll blurt this angry boi’s name. There’s just something about that drew me in from the very first episode/chapter. Yes he was a JERK, bully and ok he was an absolute asshole to Deku but there was something that kept me thinking I want to see more of this asshole. In the beginning, I thought he was going to be another Sasuke type character: join an evil group at the first chance, battle the main character throughout and eventually find his way back to being good and I was like meh. But then the Sports Festival arc happened and I was oh, this boy’s got potential so I took off my Naruto googles and started to really looking at him. If I’m honest, the first time I saw him as a hero was during his fight with Uraraka. I got so hyped during that match that I was standing and cheering, tears in my eyes for the both of them! When the spectators started to complain about Bakugou being too rough with Uraraka I was about to throw hands with fictional characters. Then when Aizawa gave his speech about Bakugo giving his all and respecting Uraraka and I was sold.

Since then I’ve been an avid supporter of his. During the Kamino arc I was worried but also impressed that he was able to go up again members of the League of Villains and was smart enough to realize that he was holding All Might back from going all out again AFO. His fight with Deku was emotional and I was a sobbing mess. Him going through the Hero License arc with all that guilt showed me his determination to being a hero. Even though he wants to portray that he doesn’t care about anyone but himself, he shows time and time again that he cares about Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero. He’s observant with Todoroki and Endevour during the Support Courses. He pushes Deku. He has so many layers as a character that I want to know more about him. Do I think that maybe he should’ve been the main character, yes I do. But I’m ok with him being a support character as well. I can’t wait to learn more about him and to see him be the amazing hero I know he’ll be.

Uraraka Ochako

Ok this girl right here 👆that’s my sunshine girl and no one is allowed to mess with her. Got it?? Seriously, I love this girl. She radiates warmth, hugs and pure unadulterated happiness. Just something about her face just makes me happy and I just wanna squish her round cheeks. Ok ok I’ll stop.

But seriously she is such an underrated character. I know for a fact she gets a lot of unnecessary hate because one: for being Deku’s love interest (I’m not really invested in their relationship tbh but if it happens I’ll be cool with it) and two: her reason for being a hero is to make money. Funnily enough the reason why she’s most hated by fans is the reason why I love her so much. She’s a young girl from a poor family who just wants to make her parents happy and I relate to that so much it made me want to cry when I first learned of her reasoning. Out of all the characters in the MHA world I connected with her the most. In addition, what I admired about her is that yes, she does have feelings for Deku but she’s able to put them aside and follow her goals. Like damn it who wouldn’t admire that? Who can’t relate to pushing their feelings aside to accomplish their goals? I seriously love this girl. Also, I love that she doesn’t limit hereself. When she started U.A. she wanted to be a support hero because of her quirk but after her fight with Bakugo she saw the potential to be more and she took it, trained and made herself better. She really is an inspiration. I hope we get to see more of her in action and maybe even lead a fight instead of being support. I can’t wait to see her grow and blossom into a badass ass woman who kick your ass while looking like an angel sent from above.

Shigaraki Tomura

Finally, this crusty boi gets me so hyped whenever he’s on screen or in a manga chapter that it’s probably unhealthy. From the very first time I saw him at that bar with those creepy ass hands covering his body I was intrigued to say the least. Every time I see him, I’m silently (not really) begging Horikoshi-Sensei to give me more of him. There was just something about him that screams more.

Fast forward to the Villain arc (one of my favorites tbh) and we learn more about his history and what he had to endure and dammit I just wanted to hug him. It’s so easy to hate the bad guys for hurting people but do we stop to think about who hurt them? And my boy was hurt a lot.....from his family (the ones who were supposed to protect him), the heroes (whose literal JOB IS TO PROTECT PEOPLE!), AFO (don’t get me started on that creepy bastard). And then suddenly I was supporting the villain. A part of me wants Shigaraki to succeed because if he does the hero society will admit their many flaws and idk maybe get rid of the hero vs villain Society that caused problems for generations 🤷🏽‍♀️ just a thought. Honestly if Shigaraki was the main character of this story I think it would’ve been much more interesting. I would definitely like to see more of him and I really want him to shake the hero society to the core.

So there it is.... my unwanted, unnecessary (if we’re being honest here) ramble about MHA. What started as a post about not liking Deku as the MC turned into......this. I’m sorry 😭. But once again I’m not hating on Deku. I love my little broccoli boi and I’ll be supporting him until the time he does indeed become Number One (maybe I’ll get myself a pair of red sneakers to match Deku’s before that happens), but there’s so many more characters that hold my interest other than him. I wish I could’ve listed them all but frankly I’m tired and hungry and I need to take a shot of something after this week’s chapter because Oh My God!!

Anyways, if anyone made it this far down my post, thank you for reading, please don’t be mean and have a great week!

[zabbaninja]

Updated Ranking- 2020 Anime Year In Review

Punch Line- Completely unexpected, possibly the greatest anime of all time. The animation is good and the music is great, but the characters and story is what made me really love this show. It’s also very misleading holy crap they work hard to cover up the real meat of the show. 

HaNaYaMaTa- A gorgeous anime with a bunch of great music and dancing.

Promare- 2d CGI hybrid with an amazing soundtrack and inspiring characters. (Still not as good as Kill la Kill though.)

The Helpful Fox Senko-San- Really really cute, probably the most feel-good anime ever made. 

Laid Back-Camp- Absolutely incredible.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba- Way exceeded my expectations.

No Game No Life Zero- No comment, it’s better if you go in with nothing.

Spirited Away- What did you expect?

Parasyte- Outstanding visuals and the best transformation of a character I have ever seen in any anime.

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K- The best comedy anime I saw this year, the animation is a little stiff, but the characters make up for it.

Komi Can’t Communicate (Manga)- A very good read that I don’t think would work well as an anime imo. 

No Game No Life- The greatest fictional world I have ever seen in anything ever. I couldn't imagine half the things the anime does.

Squid-Girl- Made me like squids.

Lupin III: The First- SEE! CGI IS COOL!

Hi Score Girl (Season 2)- Season one was pretty good, but a little underwhelming. Season 2 on the other hand is completely insane and is one of the best anime you can watch on Netflix right now holy crap.

BNA- Trigger has done it again, though some aspects hold it down for me. 

Gargantia on the verdurous planet- Amazing Sci-Fi anime, Ledo is hot.

Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid- Really recommend this one.

Blue Exorcist (Kyoto Saga)- What a grand return!

Kohana Kitan- A beautiful anime with a whole lot of charm.

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 5: Golden Wind- This… Is Requiem.

Dragon Quest: Your Story- Best video game movie, fight me.

Star vs. The Forces of Evil- Really good, had a lot of unexpected moments.

The Disastrous Life of Saiki K: Reawakened- Not as good as original, though still pretty solid.

Steven Universe- Really good.

Steven Universe The Movie- Also really good.

HERO- What an outstanding film. The closest we will get to anime fighting in live-action.

House of Flying Daggers- Why isn't it house of “The” flying daggers? What the heck?

The Last Samurai- I didn't know that it was Tom Cruise until the very end.

In This Corner of the World- Really really incredible movie, highly recommended, will probably make you cry and feel sad though, so watch at your one risk.

Eromanga Sensei- Really really fun anime.

Gourmet Girl Graffiti- If you like food and cute girls, this is the anime for you. (Update after watching again, this was way better than I remember. I would probably put it much higher now) 

Nichijou: My Ordinary Life- This anime is a sight to behold.

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 3.5: Battle in Egypt- There was only one reason you lost.

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure Part 4: Diamond is Unbreakable- My name is Yoshikage Kira. I'm 33 years old. 

Kabaneri of the Iron Fortress: The Battle of Unato- Way better than I was expecting, really solid. 

Sword Art Online Alicization: War of Underworld- Some of the best animation you can watch right now, with some stupid garbage mixed in.

Lupin The 3rd, Part 5- Pretty good, though not outstanding.

Avatar: The Last Airbender- I’m sorry, It’s just not really for me.

Anima Yell!- Very cute, though some other anime do this style a lot better.

Sword Art Online Alicization- This is literally the textbook example of Awful Taste but Great Execution.

Recovery of an MMO Junkie- It’s good, but it doesn't really feel that unique or memorable compared to other slice of life anime. (That opening though… Now that is incredible.)

Monthly Girls’ Nozaki Kun- WHERE IS THE PLOT? WHY DOES IT END THE SAME WAY IT BEGAN? NOTHING HAPPENED!!

Sonic the Hedgehog- “Gotta go fast.”

Nezha- Really good, I liked the story a lot.

LEGO Ninjago- The spiritual successor to the original series, while nowhere near as good, is something I can say is 90% better than everything else on Cartoon Network right now.

Pop Team Epic- Was not really for me.

Scissor Seven (Season 2)- I liked this a lot, I cannot wait to see what happens in season 3.

Infinity Train- Good, though not as outstanding as something like Gravity Falls (Which this show is compared to a lot).

Modest Heroes- First part is okay, Second part is alright, Third part is a must watch.

NinoKuni- The most predictable movie I have ever watched. 

Oblivion- The song was really good.

Scissor Seven (Season 1)- A mixed bag, full of boring episodes and some that truly amazed me. 

Randy Cunningham: 9th Grade Ninja- Good for what it is.

WATATEN!: an Angel Flew Down to Me- Ehh… Really pretty animation- too bad nothing happens.

BAKI- WHY WOULD YOU JUST SWITCH TO CGI IN THE MIDDLE OF A FIGHT SCENE?

Fireworks- Most boring anime I watched this year, a complete waste of time.

Devilman Crybaby- The worst anime I have ever seen in my life, pissed me off and made me never want to watch anime again. I am glad other people like it though, I wish I could too… But I just can’t.

[theliterarywolf]

2019′s Animation Hidden Gems

So, another year has come and gone. And, in regards to animated content, we had a sizable smorgasboard of offerings both on the mainstream end and the Indie scene. 

I figured I would go over some of the ones that caught my eye that I don’t see many people talking about or, if they are talking about them, they’re focusing on shitty e-drama rather than the content in of itself. 

So, let’s begin!

... Just going to use a ‘Read More’ break due to the length of this post as well as spoilers for certain things within.

Tuca and Bertie

So, we’re just going to acknowledge the fact that Netflix’s cancellation of this show before it even had the chance to hit its stride (which coincidentally timed in with the team behind it, the same team behind Bojack Horseman, getting the rights to unionize -- but I’m sure that’s just a coincidence~) was one of the shittiest things they did this year, right? Right. 

Anyway, Tuca and Bertie was one of those shows that, while it took me a good few days to finally watch it (due mostly to Netflix burying this show underneath those damn Ted Bundy movies and that fucking Beyonce concert/documentary/what-the-fuck-ever), was definitely a front-runner for adult-centered animation this year. 

While the wacky animation styles can sometimes throw initial viewers off, by the time the series is halfway through you’re fully engrossed in how it helps to tell the stories this show wants to focus on. 

While, yes, the show was a little heavy-handed in one of the early episodes about women in the workplace (that whole scene of Tuca screaming obnoxiously in the board-meeting to signal that no woman had spoken in 30 minutes was kind of grating even though the message is sound), the series as a whole is a great change of pace in regards to having adult animation centered on/aimed towards women. The characters work great together, the sound design works wonders, and Netflix cancelling this show despite they themselves not promoting it is such a damn crime. 

My personal favorite part/episode: While the episode “The Jelly Lakes” was a great, poignant display of showing Bertie opening up about her past trauma and sexual abuse, the episode that I always resonate with during rewatches of this series is “Plumage”. The way that it tackles not only reconciling with addiction but emotional/psychological abuse and how it often comes from sources that are on the outside beneficial hits so close to home. The fact that it was handled with tact and respect while still being in this wacky world of talking bird-people was amazing. 

Sound and Fury

I... am just going to come out and admit it, my brain still hasn’t 100% wrapped around the ‘what does it MEAN?!?!’ aspect of this animated album but, damn it all, is it a feast for the ears and eyes. 

I honestly can’t talk about it too much because half the enjoyment comes from watching it for yourself.

My personal favorite part/episode: I can’t quite remember what the song’s name was, but visually it was the section that focused on the homeless veteran basically being left outside to die while the city is about to be decimated by a nuclear bomb. The fact that the segment shows everything, right down to how the cat he tries to rescue agonizingly burns to death when the bomb hits, has stuck with me.

Love, Death + Robots

Well, you guys didn’t think I was going to let 2019 pass without me gushing about one of my favorite animation anthologies of the year, did you? 

Seriously, I am so glad that Netflix has greenlit a second volume for this project because it really is the type of stuff I like to see: collections of vastly different stories using different mediums and styles. 

While two of the entries aren’t as strong as the others (”The Witness” and “Ice Age” freaking suck, don’t @ me), the bulk of the anthology is immensely strong and well-executed and no amount of people whinging about ‘myeh, it’s too sex-filled and violent~’ is going to ruin that. 

My personal favorite part/episode: The segment “Suits” still takes my award for best in show, but I still like the series potential of “Shapeshifters” and the attempt at cosmic horror in “Beyond the Aquila Rift”. 

Satellite City

I hate, hate, HATE that my initial exposure to Sam Fennah’s creative world, much like other people’s first exposure, was via that DAMN Nostalgia Critic review for The Wall!

But, in all seriousness, Fennah’s web-series as well as the book that he’s been working on are so excellently crafted. 

The character design: I’ve gushed so much about the character design that doing so again here would be a crime. But it really is wonderful seeing monster designs that think ‘monstrous’ first and ‘marketability’ second. 

The voice acting: everyone in here does an exceptional job with their performances and giving life to not only the characters but the world surrounding them. Seriously, they’re all amazing and I can only hope that their talents are showcased in other projects. 

The animation: the fact that it’s all done and rigged by one person is awe-inspiring enough but the way that Fennah works to make sure that the characters don’t stick out too much from their real-world sets is incredible. 

The writing: It would be so easy for a series like this to stick to wacky hijinks, violence, and toilet-humor, but no. We have excellently crafted, mature dialogue, we have incorporated world-building that doesn’t rely on exposition dumps, we have diction that rivals some of the commercial hyper-hits of the current year.

Seriously, I wish that more people watched this series; it’s so good..!

My personal favorite part/episode: This relies on some spoilers, but I have to talk about what I think the highlight of the series. While the episode “Slice of Life” gives a good display of the core cast in a day-to-day setting with Lucy Lacemaker giving an incredible monologue about the nature of life and immortality at the end, no where else does the work behind the craft of Satellite City shine more...

Than in Episode 20 - “The Order of Things”. Satellite City centers around the Kivouachians, a species of unworldly creatures who have been around for billions of years but, due to war and betrayal, lost their homeland and have been scattered across the Earth. 

During this war, many died, many were punished, many were tortured, and many were left to deal with horrific trauma and PTSD. 

While this episode has the connecting tissue of informing others that the series’ antagonist has escaped her prison, it also centers upon the heavy issue of destructive, toxic relationships and how people can let themselves waste away and decay just because they can’t find it in themselves to let go of something that may ‘make them happy’. 

We also get a dialogue from Lucy Lacemaker about the nature of art and imitation, but it’s simply the cherry on top of the sundae that the prior themes build up. 

... Seriously, j-just go watch the show; put has-been critics out of your minds and just go appreciate this series for what it is.

Hazbin Hotel/Helluva Boss/Holidaze

God, I can only be in awe of and respect Vivienne for getting to the point that she has gotten to. Two well-received animated pilots, an adorable holiday special, industry ties, and a portfolio that surely can fill two phone books at this point. 

Seriously, though, Hazbin Hotel is great: an adult animated show with an interesting art style, engaging characters, and a world that I really want to see more of. 

Helluva Boss is great too! That show has a more intimate cast and less insanity so if the barrage of visuals in the prior turned you off, then the latter would probably be more your cup of tea. 

Finally, Holidaze is fucking adorable. It boggles my mind that people were getting upset at this special for coming out and doing something different when most complaints against HH and HB were ‘ugh, she really can’t do anything aside from “offensive people in hell are offensive because HELL, lol”’. Well, here you go! Something wholesome and cute and heartwarming!

Some people just want to bitch and moan, I swear...

My personal favorite part/episode: See, here’s where it gets tricky. I love the feeling I get from Holidaze. I love the characters from Hazbin Hotel. I love the setting/premise of Helluva Boss. 

But I wouldn’t want all of those things crammed together. 

So, all in all, VivziePop and her colleagues have done an amazing job with these shorts and I can’t wait to see what 2020 has in store for them.

Dororo (2019)

Look, man! I get it, okay?! When it comes to anime where the main character in a feudal-era Japan setting goes around killing demons, everyone and their grandma was gushing over Demon Slayer. 

And, you know what? Demon Slayer is a good show; it has really good animation and Nezuko is best girl. 

... But fuck ALL OF YOU who slept on Dororo (2019), man! I get it, Amazon having the streaming rights to it made it all sorts of awful to try and keep up with, but even so this show was way too ignored by people.

Which is a damn shame because in regards to revamping classic anime IPs, this is right up there in ‘damn, they actually did a good job’ along with Casshern Sins and Devilman Crybaby.

My personal favorite part/episode:

... Have I mentioned that the theme song for this show is an absolute BANGER?!

That’s all I have for now. I still have yet to watch things like Klaus and I Lost My Body, and I was unfortunately unable to watch Promare due to not having the funds for it when it was in theaters, and -- Oh my fucking GOD, I’m just now finding out that Netflix has Hey Arnold! The Jungle Movie after trying to find a way to legally watch it for ages. 

But I hope that I was able to introduce some of you to some animated pieces that got a little overshadowed this year. 

Here’s hoping for more amazing stuff to grace our eyes in 2020!

[flameofchaos]

Whispers in the Dark - The Slayers Fanfic

Warnings: none (I suppose)

 Beta: @naiokiara <3 (this girl is a treasure)

Chapter 3 

Of the group of adventurers, Princess Amelia first appeared downstairs, as always with a broad smile on her delicate face, and stretching her body happily.

“Good morning!” she waved to the innkeeper and two still-a-little-sleepy waitresses. “Birds are singing with the first rays of sun and there is not a single cloud in the sky. The day is SO BEAUTIFUL, I want to dance and… Oh, I’m sorry, Mr. Xellos!” The dark-haired girl finally noticed a very sour expression on the Mazoku's face, as her positive energy literally filled up the room. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“No hard feelings, Miss Amelia.,” The demon almost immediately returned to his usual innocent and polite smile, already tasting the sweet flavour of regret from the princess. The poor girl was so pure and good that she was even worried about how her happy attitude could be unpleasant for a Monster. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes. I assume the others still aren’t up? They are missing such a wonderful morni-” She bit her tongue at Xellos’ eyebrow’s twitch; “Oh… I mean, Miss Filia will be angry that we still aren’t on our way.”

The demon’s face was now literally angelic. “She tried to wake you all up by knocking on the doors, but I decided my friends deserve good rest… so I have thrown a silencing spell on your rooms, so that no one could disturb you. I suggested that Miss Filia take a refreshing walk meanwhile.”

“And what did she say?” Amelia took her seat on the other side of the table.

“Should I omit filthy words?”

“Of course!”

“Then she said nothing," Xellos took a sip of tea.

“Hello there,” Gourry joined them, yawning like he was ready to swallow them for breakfast. Zelgadis was just behind him, visibly not happy with the fact the Mazoku was still here. 

"What has happened, Xellos? Aren’t there people other than us whose existence you can poison with your presence?" The chimera sat next to Amelia, as far away from the Monster as was possible. Even after so long, he wasn't very fond of the demon. The fact that in the past Xellos burned, with his eyes, a precious manuscript that may have contained a remedium for Zelgadis’ cursed look (the Mazoku insisted there wasn’t any useful knowledge, but could the word of a demon be worth anything?) still burnt Zel painfully.

"I couldn't deny myself such a delicious breakfast as your helpless anger, Mr. Zelgadis," said Xellos, with a voice sweeter than chocolate, looking at the chimera with slightly more open eyes in a way that forced Zelgadis to move uneasily in place. He snorted and waved for a waitress if only to break eye contact with the demon, but halfway to their table the girl was attacked by Lina, who practically yanked the menu from her hands.

“Those five things! Double portions!” She ordered, pointing at the card.

“But maybe your friends would like to choose by themselves, Miss?” the waitress mumbled, overwhelmed with the sorceress' confidence.

“You understood me wrong. It’s only for me. I’m starving!” Lina passed her and placed herself on a free chair between Xellos and Gourry. 

The blonde swordsman waved. “I want the same! Lina always chooses the best dishes!”

“Sorry about them,” Amelia sighed, a little embarrassed, taking menus for herself and Zelgadis.

“Where is Filia?” Lina finally counted her group and gave Xellos a very suspicious look. “Did you eat her?”

“Golden dragon scales are hard to digest even for me,” The demon answered with a nasty smirk. “Don’t worry so much about her, Miss Lina.”

“I’m not worried about her. I’m worried about my breakfast. Filia is the one who pays our bills. If you did something to her-” The sorceress tried to throw a proper threat, but then she reminded herself who this man at her side was. “-you’d better have enough coin in your pouch, because I am ready to eat everything that isn’t fast enough to run away.”

Xellos sent her a smile. “So I assume you did rest well, Miss Lina. The proper relaxation after a hard day can be incredibly effective.”

The sorceress blushed a little, knowing the second layer in the demon’s words. A fast peek at her friends: Gourry was napping with his head resting on his arms on the table and Zelgadis studied the menu with Amelia, probably happy that Lina’s presence meant that he wasn’t any longer the centre of Xellos’ attention. 

“I have a slight headache.” The witch tried not to show her unease, and a thousand questions had been buzzing in her head from the moment she had awakened. The number of holes in her memory seriously worried her. She remembered bathing, talking with Xellos, and the massage of his long skillful fingers on her feet. And later he entered her head.  What had he done to her? She had awakened in her bed wearing a nightgown.

“I only presented you with the offer, but it was a little too much for your mind and body, so you lost consciousness in the bathtub,” whispered the demon calmingly. “I took care of you.”

“Don’t read my thoughts!” she snapped at him, suddenly panicked about what might have happened when she was blacked out.

“I don’t, and I can’t, do that. Reading thoughts is impossible even for Mazoku.” The Trickster Priest sounded offended. “But your emotions are behaving like scared wild horses, Miss Lina. I assure you, I didn’t do anything inappropriate to you. I didn’t even take peeks.” Not too many, anyway, he ended in his mind.

Lina’s face was at the moment far redder than her hair, however, she somehow knew he wasn’t lying to her. Probably indeed better he had transported her to bed rather than leaving her in the cold water where she might even have drowned.

 This is like ending up playing games with Mazoku, the witch realized sourly. She’d let him get into her head not knowing the consequences and he had touched her naked body, even if he wasn’t interested in using the opportunity.

“My, my, Miss Lina! Are you really so disappointed nothing more has happened?” Asked a surprised Xellos, his smile wider with every second, making the sorceress feel the blood flow away from her face. If she only could block his empathic skills.

“I am NOT!” she hissed through teeth, however they both knew it was a lie.

Xellos’ smug smile made her want to punch him or do anything else that could make this handsome face not so handsome anymore.

Suddenly she felt a touch on the inner side of her palm under the table, tickling like someone was brushing fingertips against her skin. Lina froze, seeing that both of Xellos’ hands were actually busy holding a teacup. Who said that human-shaped hands were the only ones the Mazoku had, and that the shadow under the table was just an ordinary lack of light, not a living darkness? The sorceress cringed.

“If you are so interested in more naughty games, we can discuss the conditions of my offer again, Miss Lina,” purred Xellos… and sighed heavily, as Lina had hit his teacup from below, so the warm beverage was now pouring off of his face. “My bad. I guess you need time to rethink the idea. One more tea, please.” The demon asked the waitress with an apologetic smile, wiping up his face with a cloth the woman quickly had offered him.

***

It was late evening the same day when Lina thought (not for the first time) that Filia and Xellos in one place were a greater threat to the world than a gathering of all four Dark Lords created by the Lord of Nightmares. 

The group had ended up camping in the desert because of an embarrassing adventure.

"It is all your fault, you cockroach! You raw garbage! You… you!" Filia's anger finally burnt off and she just drowned in tears, while Xellos’ face was literally a visualisation of the sentence: This time it really (almost) wasn’t my fault! “My dignity has been destroyed! I hate you! Hate you! Hate you!!!”

Amelia massaged the dragoness’ back, pleading with her eyes for Lina's help, but the sorceress could barely suppress her own rage. Her dreams about a cosy room and tasty supper had literally turned into ashes… in Filia’s dragon breath.

"Enough of that! Go sleep! All of you! Gourry, Zel, make a small campfire," she ordered, and something in her voice made the swordsman and the shaman obey without further questions. "I'm taking the first watch near those rocks. Xellos, you are going with me! If I don’t keep you far away from Filia, I will go insane soon!”

“Don’t blame me just because I’m a Mazoku.” The demon followed the redhead girl. “It was all her own fault! She destroyed the town. Filia was the one who chose our path this morning.”

Lina massaged her temples, trying to get rid of her murderous impulses, remembering the quarrel between the monster and dragoness about which way to choose. Xellos’ choice had been definitely rejected by Filia… only because it was a Mazoku’s proposition. Filia was stubborn to a crazy degree, so finally the group had followed her lead and they had reached a nice town.

A wonderful place except one, but important, defect.

“Why the hell didn’t you tell her that dragons aren’t allowed to enter there when she chose that damn path?” Lina yelled at the demon with so much anger that Xellos took a small step back.

“Do you really think she would have believed me? Some people, even dragons, have to burn themselves a little to learn from their own mistakes.”

“But it is MY ass that will freeze now in the desert all night! And you had chosen the right, safe path only because you KNEW she would be in opposition to you. You planned it, didn’t you?”

A smug smile and a light shrug were all from Xellos’ side.

“You aren’t even pretending to be sorry.” Lina sat heavily on sand, leaning her back against one of the rocks.

“Pretending something like that would be an offence to you, Miss Lina. You and I know each other well enough to abandon some false games. Besides, no one there knew Miss Filia was a dragon, but Valgaav’s minions appeared and told that to people in town. She was jailed and they were ready to execute her. Luckily a big bad Mazoku - Me! - appeared to piss the golden dragon off enough that she freed herself from the chains. I was a hero!” He pointed at his own chest happily.

“Filia literally leveled the town to the ground trying to catch you in her rage, you asshole!” Lina ran her palm across her face, tired, knowing the demon definitely had too much fun with this story.

Even from afar the sorceress still could hear the Priestess of Light’s whining:

“I destroyed the town! How embarrassing! What a shame! If only that devil hadn’t provoked me to change into my dragon form!”

“The other outcome would have been you bringing her severed head to the Flare Dragon King’s Temple,” reminded Xellos, sitting low by Lina’s side, to disappear from Filia’s sight. “Don’t worry. People there were fast enough to survive. They will rebuild the town and this time they will be sure to put there also a giant sign: Seriously! Dragons aren’t allowed to enter here.” He burst out with a loud laugh. “Did you see Valgaav’s minions' faces? ‘Oh dear, she REALLY is a dragon’, " the demon parodied the surprised tone of Gravos and Jillas, who hadn’t run quickly enough, and the impact of Filia’s tail had catapulted them high in the air.

Finally Lina chuckled too. Yes, maybe that view had been worth a night under a starry sky, here in the middle of desert. She would have paid to see Valgaav’s face when his servants gave him the report. Anyway, whatever Xellos did, the sorceress just wasn’t able to be angry with him for too long. This damn monster always knew the ways to distract her.

The air was cooler and cooler. The heat of day in such a place quickly changed into cold night, and Lina embraced herself tighter with her black coat. 

In the camp, Filia finally got quiet, and one peek told the sorceress that the exhausted dragoness had fallen asleep cuddling herself up to Amelia. Gourry was already snoring near the fire. Zelgadis also was preparing for rest. 

Lina inhaled deeply, enjoying the quiet and peace. Xellos’ side was warm and sheltered her from the wind, so she allowed herself to relax a little.

“You can rest too, Miss Lina. I will keep guard.” The velvet demon’s tone made the witch snort.

“I’m on watch also to keep an eye on you, Mr. Evil,” she noted, patting his nose sympathetically. “What if you sneak up to Filia and fill her sleep with nightmares?”

“Miss Lina, don’t give me such delicious ideas. Now how could I resist that?” His white teeth flashed in a grin, and Lina answered with her own bright smile, before she rested her head on his shoulder, sighing heavily.

Xellos was surprised with that sudden show of trust, so he reached his senses into Lina’s aura to check it. The demon suspected she was too tired to be fully on guard, or maybe she believed that their agreement about cooperation against Valgaav was valid. Her feelings confused him a little. The sorceress was tired, of course, but Lina had simply sought his closeness because… she was accepting him as one of her tribe. There was neither embarrassment in her now, nor hostility. Only uncertainty. She was far away from home. These were unknown lands, and Filia was also a stranger to her, unlike Xellos. The Mazoku was something familiar to Lina. She knew he was dangerous as hell and that she can’t believe him, but… somehow he was hers, a stable part of reality, from her point of view. 

Xellos considered how to use the new situation to his advantage, but finally he also let himself to put aside his mischievous nature and enjoyed the unusual atmosphere. In this fight between him and Filia over Lina, he was winning at the moment, and the art of manipulation sometimes demanded patience.

“I’m glad you are again with us, Xellos.” The girl’s murmur confirmed what the demon had concluded from her emotions. “Like in the good old good day.” She was observing stars, but her mind was somewhere else. “So many adventures behind us. This town today reminded me of when we snuck into the city where only ladies were allowed to enter and we forced you, boys, to dress like women,” she chuckled, covering her face in his blouse.

“I remember. Mr. Zelgadis as 'Miss Lulu' was quite popular there. I can recall the taste of his embarrassment.”

“And poor Gourry. Till this day he shivers when he sees a pink dress.” Lina wiped away a tear of joy. “Not to mention you. Martina said later that she had to hide you from others’ eyes because of how sexy you were in that red outfit. With what did you fill those false boobs, huh?”

“Who said they were false?”

Lina choked in the middle of laughing on her own breath and looked at the demon in disbelief.

“Nooooo… Seriously?” she blinked.

“Mazoku don’t have males or females,” the priest winked at her. “Being a shapeless darkness which can take preferred form has many advantages. But I am the most used to the male vessel I have now.”

“That explains those perfect hips in that red dress too. How many convenient secrets do you have, you beast?” Lina enjoyed the new fact to the point that she was biting the fabric of Xellos’ coat so as to not awake her friends with laughter.

“As many as I need. I am always open to new experiences. Even those including your lovely but sharp teeth. Do you remember that my clothes are part of me?”

Lina immediately straightened her back and cleared her throat. It was quite dark despite the stars and the faint light of the nearby campfire, but the Mazoku’s eyes could easily notice a deep blush on her cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, but then shivered when, away from his closeness, cold attacked her fragile body. In the next moment she found herself in the previous position as the demon wrapped her shoulders with his arm, pulling her to his warm side. Lina stopped breathing when she felt how that which looked like his “coat” moved itself too, covering her tightly.

“We don’t want you to change into an icicle, do we?” Hypnotizing amethyst eyes with vertical pupils flashed a little too close for Lina’s preferences. “What is it? You have goosebumps? Just like then, in that doll tower. You were so scared there, because of that little horror story I’d told you all the evening before. Scared of ghosts, ha! If you could have known then that a real Mazoku was just next to you. What a silly adventure. I adore those times when you all didn’t know who I was and were acting so boldly. I remember Miss Martina protecting me, a poor victim, from the rage of cruel Lina Inverse.”

Lina’s stiffness slowly vanished as she noticed that Xellos is still in a talkative, rather harmless mood and she adjusted her position under his arm, looking for comfort, resting a cheek on his chest. Somehow it hit her a lot when she noticed the lack of a beating heart sound. Her brain reacted nervously to the conflict of expectations and reality.

“Oh, my apologies. Next to you, Miss Lina, I’m not so on guard about the human form in such detail. Take it as a compliment that I feel good with you.” The demon finally noticed her confusion, and a moment later, the girl caught the slight beating under her ear.

A cheater among cheaters, she rolled her eyes.

"Poor Martina, you broke her heart! She was so devastated when she discovered that her charming prince was a monster.” Lina still could feel the satisfaction from seeing the annoying princess of Xoana's face in the moment she had understood the awful truth about her chosen man.

"Miss Martina was so funny and delicious! And full of energy in many ways." The demon sighed dreamingly.

Lina raised her head to look at his face suspiciously.

"Did you and she… you know…" 

Was there really a sparkle of jealousy in his redhead sorceress? "Curiosity killed the cat, Miss Lina.” The witch gasped, surprised, when she felt a light kiss on the tip of her nose, and she wrinkled it in a lovely way, ashamed by the cold feeling of wetness that his lips had left on her skin.

Lina suddenly became aware that most of the intimate moments in her life (all of them unplanned), she had experienced with Xellos, and it didn’t help her to feel better.

Him and his teasing games…

"I'm asking only from a scientific point of view." She added quickly. "I wondered if it was possible for your race to-"

"Engage in a sexual act?" Finished Xellos with a low voice that made the girl’s heart drum. He laughed quietly. "Some kinds of knowledge you have to earn."  His fingers ran lazily through long red locks. "Mr. Zangulus was gifted with Miss Martina's innocence during their wedding night. It was not her who I am interested in." 

The demon's words confused Lina more than everything else. It wasn't a clear declaration, she tried to convince herself, ignoring the tips of his nails gently caressing the skin of her head. The sorceress realized that his hand was bare again.

"So there is a woman you are interested in?" She asked, regretting it in the next moment.

"The fact it is a woman isn't important for me. Human mating rituals aren't natural for my kind."

Lina felt suddenly very uncomfortable. The creature next to her looked exactly like a human, but it was only an illusion. To be honest, the Mazoku race was a great mystery even for those who spent all their lives studying black magic. They were evil. They were darkness. And power. Especially power.

"What's happened, Miss Lina? I thought we are talking from… a scientific point of view?" The thumb on the arm he was using to embrace her body brushed her cheek. His cruel lips were smiling mockingly. Oh, how he was enjoying the moment of the storm of her emotions now: the desperate wish to withdraw from this embarrassing moment, to distance herself. And fear… yes, she was scared of him again.

"Yes." She mumbled with an offended tone. "Only from a scientific point of view."

The monster giggled, calmingly massaging the sorceress' shoulder to give her more warmth.

"From a scientific point of view humans aren't constructed to fly, but they do that using spells like Ray Wing or Levitation.” He pointed. "Mazoku don't need intimate acts to breed like humans, but… unknown terrains are always very tempting to explore. Am I not right?" He played with one of her red locks, slipping it among fingers.

"Enough of your seductive tricks," she tried to push him away, but it would be easier to move a mountain than Xellos’ arm.

"It wasn’t doing anything like that. Should I show you my seductive side, Miss Lina?" he whispered, grabbing her chin and pulling it up, so she looked straight into his  gleaming demonic eyes. The sorceress became as if paralyzed, when she felt his breath on her own mouth. He smelled of black magic. She could easily recognize this scent, heavy but fresh, like thunder ready to strike a tree in an open field. "You awoke curiosity in me, and a curious Mazoku is rather hard to get rid of." His lips brushed against hers when he spoke. Suddenly it became definitely too hot for Lina. Growing panic took control over her and she reacted like always, with a burst of anger.

"Let me go, you awful…!" A mistake. In the moment she opened her mouth, his tongue slipped inside, teasing hers and withdrawing before she was able to bite him. 

"Mmm… you are more delicious than I thought." The beast murmured huskily and then chuckled. "What’s with that terrified face? I was only teasing you."

Lina slapped his cheek.

"Oh, dear." He caught her wrists before she could hit him again. "Watch out, sweetling." Amethyst reptilian eyes started to glow delicately. "Violence is a language in which I am better versed than you."

Lina breathed fast, trying to fight down her own fury. Again he had done with her as he pleased. Monster!

The sorceress snorted, giving up. It wasn't possible to win with Xellos, so she sighed and laid her head back on his chest, observing stars and remaining silent. Soon his hand returned to caressing her hair. 

She still could taste the flavour of him on the tip of her tongue. It was like little lightning, tickling her taste buds in a rather pleasant way. Lina wasn't able to compare it to any other taste she was familiar with. Slowly the sorceress calmed down.

"Asshole." She said, resisting licking her lips.

"And still you like me as I am, Miss Lina." He noted, sensing that the girl was now more amused by her own helplessness than angry with him.

"Oh, shut up." Lina yawned widely. It was too comfortable to lie like that by his side. Warmth, the softness of his clothes which weren't clothes, the soothing caresses of his fingers in her hair. She started to get sleepy.

Then she felt it. His aura brushed against hers in a delicate but demanding way.

"No way. Not again. I’ve had enough of that for now." She refused with a tired voice and Xellos withdrew his astral parts obediently. 

"For now," he whispered, and kissed the forehead of the drifting girl. "There is always a new day, like you, humans, say."

[lovingumi]

who are your top 5 faves and why hehe

oooo i’ve been waiting for this one! i’m just gonna do two top fives, one for haikyuu and one just overall! i feel like you’ll definitely see what kind of person i am because of these, so that’s pretty fun! it became pretty damn long and it’s a lot, to be honest. so i get it if you just skip this entire thing! and thank you for asking this!! when i say i love interacting with you guys </4

haikyuu

1. my lil baby bokuto kōtarō!!

i didn’t necessarily have a favourite in haikyuu until he showed up and i was like ‘yeah, he definitely has my heart’ i just kinda aspire to be like him? he has this endless positivity and works so hard to keep up with everyone and just go against the strongest! he enjoys what he does so much, and i hope i’ll be just as happy as him. his lil emotional outbursts always have me laughing and just 🥺 evertime and i just wanna tell him that he did amazing and i’m so proud of him!!! i could literally write an entire book about him right now and i’m really holding back, because there’s so much more to him than his lil mood swings!! but let’s just keep it at this, hm! 

2. miya atsumu

my lil misunderstood baby!! the second i saw him in the anime, before i had even read the manga, i was dead ass already head over heels with him. people dislike him and discard him being the best setter canon, just because he’s a lil threat? i don’t even know why people dislike him. this guy is a whole five year old with just lots of confidence. he genuinely does not care that people dislike him, because he knows his worth. another thing i hope to have. this lil baby starts making mistakes just because he started getting excited!!!! ain’t that just the cutest lil thing ever 🥺 i just find him so funny and amazing!! the sangwoo jokes are also kinda getting old guys, please

3. hinata shōyō

now this one right here- he’s overlooked even when he’s loved so much. he’s insanely versatile and just so much fun to watch. he’s the real definition of starting nowhere to ending up everywhere. i can only wish to have even a sliver of his determination and motivation, because i have none of that haha </3 but no, he’s pretty interesting! people kinda overlook the fact that he’s selfish, but selfish in a good way. d’you really think he helps all these other guys because he wants to be a lil nice? i mean yeah, that plays part in it, but he’s helping them so they can get better and he’s going against stronger people. he wants them to get better for his own reasons, and i think that that isn’t wrong at all. being selfish isn’t always bad, it can benefit you without hurting anyone y’know. and he’s just my lil baby sunshine who i can always come back to.

4. kita shinsuke

i genuinely don’t know how and why he’s in my top five- i’m just gonna improvise this one and just talk some bullshit. kita is someone who does what needs to be done and cares about the people around him. he shows respect and basically has no regrets. he’s a gentle soul and like i said before, he’s basically the word ‘serenity’ in my eyes. if you’re with him, then you’ll probably just feel at easy and so comfortable. being around kita shinsuke means feeling like you’re on a cloud with a gentle smile on your face. and that’s probably the reason why he’s one of my comfort characters.

cant choose, so- honourable mentions!

i know, i know this isn’t right. but i genuinely can’t choose another favourite, so for this one i’m just gonna do a few honourable mentions sjdndn. i think kageyama tobio is among my favourites. he’s just this little dork who only knows volleyball and believe it or not, he’s the one with the most back handed compliments and maybe even hate. my lil baby deserves none of that and i just wanna hug him all the time while he tells me about how important a first step is while setting <33333 udai tenma for no reason. kozume kenma has all the vibes i love. which is weird because he’s basically the opposite of bokuto in some way- he just seems like someone who would accept you, no matter how you look or act like sometimes, you know? if you pique this guys interest, then you know you’re in it for the long haul. goshiki tsutomu, semi eita, tendō satori, sakusa kiyoomi, komori motoya and iwaizumi hajime also join the list of ‘we don’t need a reason, we just make her feel 🦋🦋🦋🦋🦋’

overall

1. bokuto kōtarō haikyuu

he’s just- i already explained why partially but i’ll just add a lil more here! bokuto kōtarō is very much aware of himself. he knows that if something on the court happened to him, he’d just start hitting out of bounds or against the net, he knows his being coddled by his team, he knows he can be a bit oblivious and you know what! he doesn’t care!! he isn’t insecure about it and doesn’t feel bad, because there’s no reason to be! kudos to fukurōdani for that too, i love them for not trying to change bokuto <3 but i’m a very, very emotional girl, it’s kinda sad how easily i cry so i just bond to the characters who are emotional too. they make me feel like i can cry as much as i want, and they’d either cry with me, or hug me warmly and that just makes me so happy!

2. nakajima atsushi bungou stray dogs

god, the amount of love i have for this one- he’s one of protagonists that people love to call whiny, a cry baby, boring or useless. atsushi’s trauma might not seem big for you, but it is for him. he has been called these things for his entire life and has been used as an experiment, of course it’s going to haunt him for an insane long part. he’s just a realistic representation of how some people with trauma can be. but he’s trying to move on and trying to save people just like he was saved. he’s constantly trying to prove that he deserves to live, when there’s no reason for him to do that. and i kinda relate to that? i just want to give him all the love i have.

3. rengoku kyōjurō kimetsu no yaiba

this one- just twenty and i know that he would be the older brother to everyone in the anime universe, even if they’re older than him. he also gives me insane bokuto vibes he has such strong beliefs and always tries to protect the weak, no matter what. his father abandoned him, but that didn’t stop him from following his dream of becoming a demon slayer. he trained and taught himself into becoming the level of a hashira which is basically like the top 3 aces in haikyuu, simply said. he took care of his little brother when his father didn’t and told him things like when no one would support or believe in him, that he would be there and support whatever path he decides to walk. “stand tall and be proud. no matter how weak or unworthy you feel, keep your heart burning, grit your teeth and move forward. if you just curl up in a ball and hide, time will pass you by. it won't stop for you while you wallow in your grief.” the way he called me out with this one- no but i just admire him.

4. levi ackerman shingeki no kyojin

so basic, i know i know.. i don’t really feel the need to explain this one, it’s just pretty self explanatory. he’s seen everyone go and always survives alone. he’s called humanity’s strongest and last hope. do you know how much of a bagage that is to carry in such world? he had to make decisions, knowing that it would cost so much lives. he just deserves to go home, drink a cup of tea and close his eyes without feeling the need to always look around himself.

5. midoriya izuku boku no hero academia (contains spoilers)

now imagine seeing your role model in their real form, telling you, a quirk less kid who has been bullied to almost death, that you can be a hero. i would cry for days, honestly. let’s also not forget training for an entire year, moulding your body beyond its limits and getting a quirk that’s much bigger than you originally thought. and it’s not even one quirk, but around seven or eight you’re getting!!! you’re carrying so much responsibility along with all these things and people expect you to be this badass guy who carries no emotion. please- i fucking love my baby izuku and all his emotions included. i do not accept any slander for any emotional character on this blog <3

honourable mentions!

after reading the manga, i can say with confidence that bakugou katsuki is one of my favourites. i relate on another level to tamaki amajiki, my shy lil baby. khun aguero agnes, ah yeah, i love him. i finished the anime, but i have yet to finish the webtoon. kamado tanjiro is my favourite protagonist and no one can change that <3 hange zoë hange zoë hange zoë the love of my life!!!

[rational-mastermind]

It Doesn’t Hurt

Ch 1/5

Hurt/Comfort. A Trilbhan (Trilby x Siobhan) fanfic taking place after Trilby’s Notes. Warnings of suicidal thoughts and depression (in later chapters) and blood. But I mean.. If you’re into this series you’re sure as fuck not squeamish.

--

 It's been a few months since the Clanbronwyn Hotel incident. The events that took place there still haunts me to this day and my reputation around the Ministry of Occultism hadn't gotten any better, now that I'm responsible for the permanent decommissioning of two agents, Andrew Jarvis and Lenkmann. Granted, most forgave the latter, as he not only threatened my life but was a part of an insane cult named The Blessed Agonies. But AJ…

 Ever since my first day I was referred to as "the one who killed AJ". As if it wasn't bad enough bearing the responsibility of killing the man to begin with. As well as bearing the responsibility of three other deaths, Philip Harty, Simone Taylor, and Abed Chahal.

 A week or two after the Hotel Incident, I attended Dr. Chahal's funeral. At a distance, mind you. Somehow knowing why they couldn't find his body and making it a closed casket ceremony made me feel worse, but at least I could properly, discreetly, pay my respects to the man.

 However, seeing his family come to the casket to say their good-byes, forced me to leave. I suppose that's what people call guilt. I was walking out of the building when a familiar voice called out.

 "Terry Railby?"

 I couldn't tell if my initial feeling was one of surprise for being recognized or dread as I, in turn, recognized who it was. I turned around only to find Siobhan O’Malley standing by the doors, looking a little shocked herself. I should've figured she was here, being the late professor's assistant. Still, I was foolish to hope I wouldn't run into someone who would recognize me, let alone know me by the more common alias, Trilby.

 "Siobhan..." I started, unable to mask my surprise.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, rightfully perplexed.

 "Just came to pay my last respect." I said giving a nod to the funeral house behind us. "The least I could do."

 She nodded sadly and folded her arms around her.

 "Same. But… Well I mean.. ", she started to say before smiling back at me. "It's good to see you again."

 "And you as well." I smiled back politely.

 "I was kinda hoping you would show up." She stepped a little closer. "I don't think I thanked ya properly for rescuing me."

 I gave a modest shrug.

 "All in a day's work." I stated, cringing inwardly from how cheesy that sounded.

 "No really." She insisted. "If it weren't for you, it'd be my family in there. At least lemme buy you a drink, as a proper thanks."

 I nodded back to the funeral.

 "Wouldn't you rather say your proper good-bye with everyone else?"

 "Nah. I actually hate funerals. It's like church, but more depressing." Siobhan explained, looking at the ground in thought. "I paid my respects and don't get me wrong, I do miss him but… Well. I know he's not in there. Saying goodbye to an empty casket isn't gonna do me much good is it?"

 She looked back at me sadly. I knew we were both thinking the same thing. We had both seen what really happened to Abed.

 "So come on. Lemme thank ya for saving me from a worse fate, and we'll say a real good-bye instead."

 I don't know what possessed me to agree, but in about 15 minutes, I found myself sitting in a corner booth of a small cafe with Siobhan and a couple of drinks.

 "Here's to a good man." Siobhan tucked away the small flask she used to "fix" her drink, and raised the cup in a small cheers.

 I returned the gesture and we drank.

 "I didn't know you drank." I mentioned.

 "Terry, I am Irish. Of course I do." she chuckled before adding. "Only on occasions."

 I nodded and dropped it. We sat in silence for a while before I decided I should ask the obvious question.

 "So… do you want to talk about Abed?"

 Siobhan sighed a little and shrugged.

 "What can I say?" She asked and looked absent mindedly at her drink. "He was nice. A good professor. Passionate about his work. A nice man overall. I mean.. don't get me wrong, it always hurts to know someone's dead. But well… it's life, isn't it?"

 “That's a very mature way of looking at it." I agreed.

 "Well.. Thanks." She smiled a little, albeit sadly. "Personally I don't think anyone should mourn the dead for too long. It's bound to happen, and it makes life a little brighter to know they were a part of yours. I did. Back at the hotel. But then that was it. Time to move on."

 "Hmm. And where are you moving on to?"

 "Well I finished college last year. I'm planning on opening up an antique shop here in about a month." Siobhan perked up a bit.

 “Well that’s nice to hear.” I smiled more comfortably. “So soon?”

 “Well I've been planning this for a while now." She explained. "It's just now been coming together. And I've already got a decent amount of stock set in storage to get started on."

 "Very smart. Sounds like you have a good head for business."

 She grinned a little.

 "About the only thing I'd be concerned about is if any cat burglars broke in overnight."

 "Hmm. And why would they?" I asked, playing along. "I'd assume anything worthwhile would've already walked out the door."

 Siobhan laughed a little, blushing, and finally dropped the charade.

 "If you mean me, I'm actually going to live in the building. Right above the shop actually."

 "Ah I see." I nodded with understanding, but couldn't resist teasing further. "So there WOULD be a reason for some, tall, dark, handsome, mysterious-"

 "Oh crap Terry!", Siobhan laughed.

 "-sophisticated and impressively dressed gentleman thief to break in"

 Siobhan was trying hard to keep her laughter quiet but it was obviously a strain. Her face started to flush as tears swelled. The reaction caused me to laugh along, equally quiet and strained. It was nice. This frivolous moment of peace. I couldn't remember the last time I laughed like this. It felt good. It felt like such a relief to laugh. I supposed this is what Claire meant by getting a "good vibe" from someone.

 And that was when it dawned on me.

 Oh no.

 Claire.

 Work.

 SHIT.

 I quickly checked my watch and mentally cursed.

 "What's wrong?", Siobhan asked, noticing the sudden shift in behavior.

 "I have somewhere I need to be." I stood up and left a bill for the drinks. "Sorry for leaving so suddenly. It was nice seeing you again."

 "Oh! Um, yeah. It's great to see you!" She said giving a small wave good-bye.

 I hurried out the door. I had just caught myself in time and barely made it back before someone missed me.

 I came into the office and sat down at my desk with a sigh. Just in time. I clocked back in from my computer. Claire, sitting right across from me as usual, looked up from her desk with a smile.

 "So…? Where were you? Missed you at lunch."

 "Had something to attend to."

 "Personal? Or is it a girl?"

 "Wouldn't a girl be personal?" I frowned, quizzically and glanced back at her.

 "You'd be surprised how casual people really are about their love life Trilbs." She rolled her eyes, though still smiled. "It's called socializing."

 "Well I'm not entirely one for doing such, to start with, and secondly, don't call me Trilbs. A nickname of a nickname is ridiculous."

 "Oh fine. You're no fun today." She shook her head and went back to work.

 Any thoughts I did want to have about Siobhan went right out the window. The last thing I needed was office-stereotype-like Claire gossiping my thoughts to the entire department.

 The rest of the day was as normal as it could be and I hadn’t seen Siobhan again for the rest of the month. August passed with almost nothing noteworthy, aside from the occasional ghosts I had to banish and demon slayers I’ve met while working. Then one day, I came into the break room.

 I had been dealing with a woman on the phone who claimed to have seen her dead mother come back to nag her and she wasn’t willing to listen to reasoning. I wasn’t really needing the coffee, though I poured myself a cup regardless. Just needed an excuse more than anything to get away from the griping.

 “Hey Trilby.” one of my co-workers, I believe his name was Darren, came up to me.

 “Good afternoon.”, I greeted, not turning to face him until after I made my cup.

 “Kill anyone lately?”

 My heart stuttered and I looked back to find Lenkmann staring me down, inches from my face. A sudden sharp pain welled up in my abdomen. I screamed in pain and looked down to find blood dripping off my hands.

 It hurts

 Everything was growing dark. There was a scream and I looked up only to find a dead Philip Harty, sprawled out on the dining room table. Simone and Jim were running away into the house.

 It hurts

 I had to chase them down. I had to kill them. I wanted them to suffer. Just like I did.

 It hurts

 I looked down at the floor to find Abed. His porcelain face looked back at me, trying to mouth words but I could only barely understand.

 It hurts

 Pain coursed through every vein of my body and I knew the name of the King.

 IT HURTS

 I was running through the hotel, trying to escape. Sharp, hot, agonizing pain scorched my nerves. The smell of death and blood was everywhere. The darkness around me was growing. I tried to reach out. Siobhan caught my hand. I grabbed her throat and snapped it.

 IT HURTS

 I ran until I tripped on something and fell. Into nothing.

 Into darkness.

                                       Eternity.

                                                                                 On the floor.

 With a gasp of fresh cold air, I woke up on the floor of my apartment, just off my bed. My head hurt with a sharp pain. I likely fell on it first. I quickly checked my body only to find no blood. Just the scar from where I had been stabbed. I sighed. There was a phantom pain there, but it was fading. Why was I? Oh.. Right. The nightmare.

 A pit in my stomach grew. Having a stressful nightmare wasn’t unheard of. You don’t just accept murdering two people under possession and nearly dying. But the last time I had such a vivid dream like that was when…

 “Oh no…” I felt like everything in me suddenly grew cold. “Oh God no. PLEASE NO.”

 I scrambled to look around my apartment for something.

 It wasn’t there. It wasn’t anywhere.

 I hurried to get dressed and ran out the door. Praying I was mistaken.

 I got to the office and came rushing to my desk

 “Trilby? You okay?” Claire asked as I ravaged my drawers, searching frantically.

 “Where is it? Oh crap, WHERE IS IT?!”

 “Trilby, calm down! What are you looking for??”

 “Where the hell is that letter?!”

 “What letter??”

 I slammed my hand on the desk, too flustered and frustrated to listen to her.

 “THE DAMN LETTER FROM NASA, CLAIRE. DID THEY SEND THAT ABOMINATION OUT OR NOT??”

 “That idol? From Defoe?? Yeah, they- Oh, Trilby, calm down they did!”

 She came over and laid a hand on my shoulder. My frantic paranoia was wavering, swaying as she tried to calm me down.

 “Trilby, Trilby, they sent it out.”

 I looked back, still scared.

 “They did?”

 “Yeah, it launched a couple of weeks ago. You got a letter.”

 I started to calm down. I could feel waves of nostalgia and serenity from Claire as she tried to help.

 “They did.. Okay.. O.. okay..” I placed my head in my hands, rubbing away the bags under my eyes. “Holy.. Alright. It was just stress…”

 “Doing better?”

 “Y...yes? No?”

 “Right now?”

 “....Yes. Yes, I’ll be okay.” I sighed. My paranoia and stress melting away. Being replaced with a settled, calm, hollow feeling. Like the still peacefulness of the dark. “I’m… better. I’m sorry.”

 “It’s okay. We all have those days.” Claire reassured me. “So, what happened?”

 “Just another nightmare… I thought.. I was worried that…”, I couldn’t find the words.

 Blurry images of the nightmare flashed through my mind. Growing more distant.

 “You thought you killed someone again?”

 “Y...yeah.” I sighed. “I thought.. The idol…”

 “It was shipped out.. It can’t hurt anyone.”

 “And you’re sure the box wasn’t opened?” “I doubt they would’ve opened it.”

 I sighed with relief.

 “Okay.. Alright.”

 Claire sat down at her desk. I noticed a piece of paper sitting under my monitor and pulled it out, only to find it was, indeed, the letter from NASA. The idol was shipped out. No one had opened the box. I started to ease up. It was okay. Siobhan wasn’t going to be killed. Everything’s alright.

 “Trilby.” one of my higher ups, a short, stocky man with thick round glasses, came and sat a folder down at my desk. I believe his name was Richard. “I’ve got a case for you. Mysterious deaths happening at the same locale. The only person people could have in suspicion, doesn’t add up. Especially cause she phoned in the deaths herself in hysterics, and no one’s that great an actor.”

 “Alright. I’ll uh, take a look at that.” I said, starting up my computer. “Thank you.”

 “We want you to take someone with you. It looks dangerous.”

 “Very well.”

 He left and I looked over the folder. Mysterious deaths happening at an antique store named Rusty Pot o’ Gold. I looked up at Claire. I usually like to go with Chris Quinn, but something told me I was going to need her help in this. Someone who would be a bit more… serious than Chris.

 “Would you like to come, Claire?”

 She looked back, a little surprised, but smiled sincerely.

 “Yeah. Why not?”

 A small drive later, and we arrived at the antique store. The first thing I noticed about it was how new it seemed. I was reminded of Siobhan for a moment.

 For a moment… I was reminded of that nightmare.

 I shook my head, trying to clear it. Nothing like that was going to happen. There are about a dozen antique shops, this side of town. What was one more? No one said this had to be Siobhan’s.

 We walked in, past the police tape and glanced about us. There were dozens of shelves, display cases, and boxes of worn antiques. Everything from hats to farming equipment was found here. Everything was full, cramped, and kind of messy. Admittedly, the owner made it feel homey. The various chandeliers, lamps, and torches, all lit and warming the place while the rugs and strange antiquated china dolls and figurines made it feel almost lived in. I was reminded, for a moment, of visiting my own grandmother’s for the holiday. I would say the shop felt cozy, if it weren’t for the obvious, damp, chill that hung in the air. A first sign of possible specters.

 We started to look around, hoping to find something unusual, or out of place. Something the magenta in our pockets would react to, though they carried a generalized warmth and a healthy glow regardless. But we didn’t get far before my previous concerns came true and Siobhan’s voice called from the back of the store.

 “Are you with the police? Be right with you!”

 “Oh no…”, I grimaced.

 “What?” Claire looked at me curiously.

 “I know her.” I said in a low voice.

 “Ex?”

 “What? No!” I rolled my eyes. “It’s Siobhan O’Malley. From the Clan Bronwyn Hotel.”

 “Oh! Ohhh.” Claire grimaced as well. “Oooh..”

 “I’ve got this.”

 “Aw, man. I came up with names and everything!”

 “Well I’ll still introduce you as your alias.”

 Claire beamed and handed me the slip of paper. I took a glance at it, frowned in disgust and handed it back.

 “And you lost your alias privileges.”

 “Aww! Why?”

 “That’s far too crass for me to say.”

 “Gosh you’re boring.”

 I shook my head and came up to the counter.

 “Siobhan?” I called out. “It’s me, Trilby.”

 “Trilby?! Come in! What are you doing here??”

 I walked in, past the counter to find a hallway leading to a small office space. Siobhan greeted me at the doorway with a smile.

 “Hello, Siobhan.” I smiled back.

 “I certainly didn’t expect this! What…” suddenly her face fell as the pieces began to connect. “Oh.. Wait.. What are you doing here?? Unless...”

 “Yes, I’m here about the deaths.” I said, growing serious. “I’ve reason to believe it’s paranormal.”

 “Into the ghost hunting business now, are we?” she looked at me with reasonable disbelief.

 “Well.. actually, more or less.” I shook my head. “Believe me, not by intention. Just something I’ve… fallen into.”

 “Oh, really?”

 “Ludicrous, but it’s a living.”

 “Hey, Trilby?” Claire called from the other room. “There’s something going on out here!”

 We head back out into the shop. Claire stood up from where she was, piece of magenta in hand.

 “So.. Who’s your friend?” Siobhan asked.

 “She’s my co-worker, Claire.” I explained.

 “Hi! You must be Siobhan.” Claire beamed and shook her hand. Always the friendly extrovert.

 “Nice to meet you.” Siobhan smiled, though it seemed out of sheer politeness.

 “So what’s wrong?” I asked.

 “Look at this.”

 Claire held up the magenta to the ceiling as high as she can. It began to grow dim. She then brought it low to the floor and it burned brighter.

 “Hm. Siobhan, there wouldn’t happen to be a basement, would there?”

 “Um. Yeah, actually.” She headed to a door in the back of the store.

 “Any extra information on this place, while you’re at it?” we followed her down the stairs.

 “Well there used to be a prison here.” Siobhan began to explain.

 I immediately grimaced. Prisons are just one of those things I’ll never fully appreciate, given my life choices. I felt uneasy standing in the old grounds of one.

 “Ooh. That makes sense!” Claire chimed in. “A lot of things could’ve happened in one of those.”

 “Actually the history is kinda scarce, but interesting.” Siobhan began, immediately falling into a sense of careful study and quiet enthusiasm. She almost sounded like a tour guide, if the subject were anything else. “The jailhouse was originally erected in 1602. The plot of land for it was actually a lot larger than the current store, starting from the sidewalk from one end of the block to another, but it was bulldozed down and divided by 1718. What we’ll find down here is some of the original brick foundation and layout of the previous jailhouse.”

 “That’s um.. Comforting.” I commented.

 We came out into a large, brick and cobblestone basement. Some old cells were polished up and filled with various cardboard boxes and crates.

 “Well it kinda gets worse.” Siobhan continued. “Apparently this basement was specifically used for… well.. Death Row.”

 An icy chill went down my spine and it wasn’t just because we were literally in the coldest room. Looking around at the iron bars, I could only imagine what it must’ve been like. Convicts simply waiting here in the musty, damp, dark, wondering when their time was going to be up. Likely a few wrongly accused. The pit in my stomach grew worse.

 “Of course it was…” I muttered, recognizing that I could now see my breath, but only barely.

 “Hm. That could be a good lead.” Claire noted.

 “Possibly.” Siobhan shrugged. “There was a few rumors surrounding the place about police brutality. A few convicts were found dead before their due date. The prison was shut down after that.”

 “So we’re looking at the possibility that several upset ghosts are still haunting, after being killed prematurely in their previous life?” I questioned, looking back at Claire and Siobhan.

 “But if it’s just a mindless ghost… Then why hasn’t it killed Siobhan? Or….us?” Claire asked.

 “Good question.” I pondered and turned to Siobhan. “Any similarities to the previous deaths?”

 “Aside that they all broke in, looking to steal stuff? Um.. No. Old, young, short, tall, man, woman.” Siobhan sighed a little. “They were all different.”

 There was a moment to think before Claire spoke up again.

 “...Maybe the ghosts have something against thieves?”

 “Wouldn’t that be kind of against the phrase, ‘thick as thieves’?” Siobhan grinned a little.

 Siobhan and Claire both looked at me curiously. I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t help a small smile.

 “I find that to be somewhat of an offensive phrase.” I clarified. “I preferred to work alone.”

 “Hm.. Alone, you say?” Siobhan nodded towards Claire.

 Claire laughed a little.

 “I tagged along. Otherwise, yeah, he would’ve probably worked alone.”

 I shrugged modestly and returned to the task at hand.

 “There’s no guarantee that it’s multiples, either. We’d just need at least one to stay and become a ghost.”

 “Would it be alright if I poked around, Siobhan?” Claire asked. “Maybe I can find some piece of the corpse or an artifact he’s attached to.”

 “Oh, yeah, help yourself.” Siobhan offered politely.

 “Actually, while you’re doing that, I might as well try to find more information myself.” I sighed. “Do you have a computer I can borrow?”

 “Yeah, in the office.” Siobhan nodded to the stairs and smiled. “I’ll show you.”

 We headed back up into the office. Siobhan sat at the desk and began to start the dial-up internet.

 “So, be honest. What does one have to do to become a Ghost-buster?” she asked, with a playful grin.

 I rolled my eyes. That reference has been made around the office several times, and even though I’ve yet to see the actual movie myself, I still know so much of it, picking it up in passing conversation.

 “Well you don’t have to wear a ridiculous jumpsuit.” I started to explain, earning a giggle from the other. “Secondly, I don’t think you’d want me for a reference on the job interview. It um.. Wasn’t exactly the best.”

 “Oh.. Really? Is it all that bad?”

 “Mine was at least. I hear it’s different for everyone. Besides, it’s a boring desk job most of the time.” I shrugged. “Half the time chasing down the paranormal isn’t even as thrilling as movies make it out to be.”

 “Oh, it can’t be all that terrible.” Siobhan grinned, obviously still trying to hold onto some silly romantic idea she had of the whole thing. “I’m sure it must be a lot of fun at times. Or at least a few good stories to share.”

 I decided to spare her the retelling of one obnoxious, love-sick, school boy.

 “Well.. Perhaps I’m just unlucky.” I simply told her. “Claire would know better than I.”

 “Hm. Maybe I’ll ask her opinion.” Siobhan chuckled. “She’s nice, by the way.”

 “She’s the nicer of the people in the office, at least.” I agree. “A little absent minded.”

 “Hm, sounds like someone else we know.”

 I chuckle.

 “Okay. Not that bad.”

 “So… What’s her.. thing?”

 “‘Her thing?’” I looked at Siobhan, perplexed.

 “Well I mean, I doubt any normal person could be right for the job.”

 “Ah. Well, she’s a um.. Clairvoyant.”

 “Claire the clairvoyant?” Siobhan grinned, though incredulous.

 I shook my head and chuckled.

 “As silly as it sounds, she’s actually really good at what she does.” I replied.

 “She reads minds?”

 “Somewhat. She’s said it’s a little more complicated than that. But basically it’s about what you’d expect. Read minds. Telepathy. Senses ghosts. Um.. Feels…. vibrations or something?” I shrugged. I never really understood it myself, though I had tried to read up on it.

 “Hmm. Well, the internet’s up now. Here you go.”

 We traded places. I sat down and began to search. Siobhan made herself comfortable on the desk. I checked reports on the previous deaths. No leads there. The victims were all just as varied as Siobhan explained. Mostly hooligans. Nothing similar.

 ‘Rookies, the lot of them.’ I thought to myself, reading through their reports. ‘No wonder they got caught.’

 I tried looking for information on the jailhouse. The deaths that occurred were equally varied. The only thing any of them had in common was that they all appeared to have been horribly beaten to death. Everything from cracked ribs to broken bones. One was even killed with his skull bashed in. To be fair, my stomach was somewhat weak to read in more detail what all had happened. The chief of police at the time, a man by the name of Brutus J. Ustyss, was held in suspicion for the deaths, but never brought to court.

 Suddenly the website I was searching turned blank and then the screen flickered and went black.

 “Wha-?” I sighed in frustration and Siobhan did as well.

 “I’m sorry, Trilby. The computer blinks out, sometimes.”

 “Well..” I checked my watch. It was late into the afternoon. Soon enough I would have to stop. “I suppose I should go check on Claire. After that, we’ll try to gather more information elsewhere. I’ve been meaning to pay the library a visit, anyway.”

 We headed back out of the office.

 “You know, I’m still curious how someone as infamous as you landed a job as a paranormal investigator.” Siobhan started as we walked into the main room of the shop. “I mean, did you always want to be one? Or did you want something more?”

 “Honestly? I wouldn’t have ever wished for something as ridiculous as this.” I sighed. “I yearn for the days before the Defoe Manor. Back when things were simpler. I’ll always be a thief at heart.”

 The shop suddenly began to shiver and quake. Miscellaneous merchandise began to fall off the shelves around us. I felt an icy cold hand grab my shoulder and before I realized I’m being turned around, I’m met with a brick wall of immense pain and darkness.

[sparda3g]

Kimetsu no Yaiba Chapter 166 Review

Kokushibou is no joke whatsoever. If his calmness and lack of any expression other than curiosity didn’t tell you that, I don’t know what does. Actually, this latest chapter will certify that claim. It was horrifying enough with Tokito easily overwhelmed; it only gets worse from here, unless that man pulls a miracle. This chapter was damn riveting with yet another horrifying display and surprisingly, a heartwarming scene that instantly changed my mind.

I like that Gotouge sometimes uses the chapter’s cover to illustrate a moment from elsewhere, instead of using multiple pages. It’s not necessary to exploit it with exposition; it can be shown in one image. In this case, we now know Tanjiro is reading the letter about a huge possibility to defeat Muzan. It could be the deal breaker, though we won’t know until he goes for it, let alone learn it. With that out of the way, it’s back to the horror story.

Kokushibou easily impressed me the last time. We’ve never seen his sword yet, so more shock value is on hold. It only makes me even more worried. It’s good for interest level, but bad for me that truly cares about these characters. Even if Tokito doesn’t die, him becoming a demon is bad enough; fate worse than death. The first page was sort of convincing that it was going to happen. The second page helps the nerve, but the tension remains high.

I’m mixed about Genya appearing. I’m happy for he will have a moment to shine and save Tokito, somehow, someway. I’m upset because he’s about to go up against Upper Moon 1 who singlehanded defeat a Pillar. It’s telling when Genya is scared to pull the trigger. One move, one fail, God help them all. That alone got me nervous. But that feeling is nothing compared to the follow-up.

Kokushibou is scary as hell, all thanks to well thought-out sequence. Your nerves were running wild with Tokito about to convert to a demon. Kokushibou explains in an eerie fashion, as Genya takes aim from behind. Then the very next page, Kokushibou appears instantly behind him, asking if he agrees. That’s so unnerving. His dialogue flow perfectly, as if all three were always in the conversation. That’s how you display a serious threat. I haven’t felt this frightened since Arima from Tokyo Ghoul. The hype, the atmosphere, and overall presentation had me convinced.

The last chapter was tough to watch Tokito losing badly. This one however is even worse. I gasped hard when I saw Genya’s arm sliced off, and you can’t even see it happen in motion. He’s a demon, so he should be fine. Still, the way how the scene plays out gives you damn chills. Genya goes for a swing and that arm gets sliced off as well. Again, you can’t see the motion. It’s so instantaneous, his Demon Art might as well be Time-Travel.

Genya should be fine, but good God almighty, Kokushibou wasn’t done. Cutting his arms weren’t enough, so he just cuts him in half. I’m all out of gasp. This is brutal; no, it’s insanity. I don’t know what to believe anymore. You have Genya trying to reach for his arm, which by the way, a nice subtle development compare to the last arc. He is more of a real fighter now, and I respect that. You have Tokito trying to remove the sword, and he’s the only hope to save Genya. “Live or die” is the name of a game. It’s hell of an intensity that leads to a hell of a surprise.

Sanemi comes to save his little demon brother. Now, this is surprising to me because of couple of reasons. One is that Sanemi appears out of nowhere with a badass attack, Rising Dust Storm. Hell, he even has a one-liner moment. Second is how happy I was to see him, and yet, this is the same guy that I detested a lot in the past, especially the time when he was harming Nezuko. Lastly, he never comes to my mind because his impression has been rough, and for writing perspective, that’s a good thing.

I was under impression that Sanemi was a total prick. Even Tanjiro don’t like him. I didn’t think of him as a possible savior, because he looks like a guy who wouldn’t mind his brother getting killed. Fans would be deceived to think him as a cold brother who wants to kill all demons; nothing more, nothing less. It is now that we get to see him in a more shockingly sentimental side, and honestly, I am so shocked that I feel stupid for my dislike for him.

I’m not saying everyone should feel the same, but you should reconsider his character as a whole after he expresses his genuine feelings. It’s worth mentioning that he has been stroke hard with sad and dark reality as of late, which is probably why he’s more collective. When Ubuyashiki died, he was legitimately broken up. It’s like his insane persona is what keeps him alive and motivated, and judging by his words here, it really sounds like it.

The flashback with Tanjiro’s words of wisdom is touching; adds more to the drama that needs to bring them close once again. By the way, Tanjiro sitting on Inosuke’s back is so funny to look at. The point is, despite Sanemi being rowdy and bashful at Genya’s action, nothing has changed. He’ll always love him. Take it from Tanjiro; he knows sibling love all too well. Amazing how these characters can benefit from each other. If his words weren’t convincing enough, Sanemi will settle it.

I was surprised about him caring about Genya, but I’m even more surprised when he speaks in sincere tone. His words are strikingly heartfelt. It’s his deepest regret that his little brother has become a demon. He couldn’t save his family. He couldn’t save their future. That hits me hard. Genya makes the scene warmer with his only reply, “I’m sorry.” I mentioned this in another series that I reviewed, but brotherly love always gets to me, and this is no exception. To sum it up, Sanemi is more or less a tsundere, and that’s fine. I really like the fact you don’t see his face during the tender moment. You don’t know if he’s sad, smiling, or anything. You can only judge by his words and its tone, and that enough makes this scene so heartwarming.

You can damn well tell he’s pissed when you do see his face however. The action has just started and already, it’s promising as hell. The glimpse of the main course is stellar with its solid sequence. The baseball slide from Sanemi is slick, but couldn’t get Kokushibou, even with Dust Whirlwind Cutter. At least it looks awesome. It’s a relief that finally someone is able to force Kokushibou to draw his sword. I thought his design is great, but now I can say the same for his sword. Nasty, but a great complementary to the overall.

This was a great chapter. The tension remains strong and believable. I was cringing badly during Genya’s downfall. Sanemi was a character that I really didn’t like because of his attitude. Now that we got a clearer image, it’s a lot more understandable. You don’t have to forgive him, but I am willing to give him a chance. Plus his brotherly love was heartfelt and sincere. I believe his sorrow, even without seeing his expression. The artwork is solid and the action looks very promising with a slight of hope showing. I should note Kokushibou mentioned about brothers; I wonder if he had one. Three slayers should be fine to take on him; or is it? We could only wait and see.

[neriad13]

Best of the Best Media Consumed 2019!

This year I had a whole lot of focus on nonfiction, film and comics. Resolution for next year: read more fiction. Seriously, I read over three times more nonfiction than fiction this year. I read a little over one novel a month. But I really do love picking up a book on something I know nothing about and coming away knowing more than something. X-P

Anyway! The list!

Books - Fiction

Out of the 17 works of fiction I read this year, the best of the best is...

The Snow Queen, by Joan Vinge

The Snow Queen was one of my absolute favorite fairy tales as a child. The 2002 film adaptation of it was one of the things I watched endlessly. 

It was SO MUCH FUN picking apart this sci-fi retelling and discovering which characters are meant to represent the ones from the original story (of particular interest: the character representing the reindeer is human in this...and he has a one night stand with the character representing Gerta. Yes, I’m still cracking up about this. Yes, it actually was a pretty well written scene). 

But the absolute best part of it was the masterful characterization. Every single character has ulterior motives and often heartbreaking reasons for why they are the way they are - especially including the Snow Queen herself, whose final scene is horrifying, tragic and beautiful. 

I always like me some solid villain characterization.

Runner Up:

Fairy Tales: Traditional Stories Retold for Gay Men

I am not a gay man...but this very much spoke to me. It was at turns heartwarming and hilarious and the turns these fairy tales took felt so natural, like they’d been told that way all along. 

There are also many allusions to AIDS in the stories - sometimes as something a character is directly dealing with whether in himself, or a loved one and sometimes under the guise of a metaphor for inevitability. These ones were my favorites (aside from The Frog Prince, which was turned into a metaphor for accepting the process of aging with grace). 

Books - Nonfiction

Oh boy. There’s...definitely going to be more than one here. Of the 65 works of nonfiction I read this year, my favorites were...

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes & Other Lessons From the Crematory

A memoir about the author’s time spent working as a crematory operator and her entry into the funeral business. This book was absolutely hilarious (it contains a story about the author getting absolutely soaked with corpse fat that wouldn’t stop flowing straight out of the incinerator), tragic (a 12 year old girl is cremated and her ashes are mailed back to her parents as part of a cremation mail-in program) and extremely poignant (the author talks openly about the time she was contemplating suicide). 

I love Caitlin’s youtube channel and I loved this book even more.

My Age of Anxiety

Partially the memoir of a man who has battled his extreme anxiety his entire life, a historical study of famous figures who have also endured it and a scientific look into why it exists at all. 

Ultimately, it offers no answers. As of the writing of the book, the author has found no treatment that helps him for longer than a few months. But what he has found over the course of his research is that he is not alone - that anxiety has historically been a factor in scientific breakthroughs and artistic accomplishments. And that perhaps most importantly, that anxiety has been a key part of human evolution from the start, which served a vital role in the survival of the species. 

Mental illness or evolutionary adaptation? Is there even a line between them?

Cassell’s Encyclopedia of Queer Myth, Symbol and Spirit

This is the only book, period, devoted to queer mythology, that I have ever been able to find. But the good news is that it’s fairly extensive (though the authors themselves admit that they had trouble finding as much information about non-western mythology as they did for western mythology), is chock full of references and is extremely thorough in the information it presents. 

I’ll admit that it was a slog to get through at times, but what it’s provided has been invaluable to my conception of history and my own place in it. 

Also, I can now say beyond a shadow of a doubt that almost every culture on earth has at some point in their history had a tradition of transgender shamans.

Hope After Faith

This is the memoir of a charismatic Pentecostal pastor turned atheist. It follows him from teenagerhood and the beginnings of his dream to be a preacher to a little bit after his deconversion decades later. 

The eventual crumbling of his faith was something that spoke to me on a deep level. The scene that I still think about months later is the one in which he finally gives up his belief in the afterlife and accepts the finality of death by saying goodbye to everyone he ever loved who has died with the words “I love you, but I’m never going to see you again.”

I was not a huge fan of the writing style at first, but this one won me over totally and completely. It touched me immensely at the time when I needed it most.

Comics - Fiction

I read 52 fictional comics this year and 46 nonfiction. I absolutely raided my library’s graphic novel section for months. It was a good time.

Beautiful Darkness

A French graphic novel wherein tiny people survive and feud over the corpse of the child they came from. It’s...hard to explain. Kind of a fairy tale Lord of the Flies, but more subtly horrifying. It’s a story about decay and collapse - of society, of the physical form, of the dreams of a child. It has no single interpretation and different people may take something very different from it. The most inventive horror story I read this year.

My Brother’s Husband

A story about microaggressions and how their buildup over time can drive a wedge between people without them even noticing. I cried. Go read it.

Mis(h)adra

A semi autobiographical account of a college student learning how to live with his epilepsy. I also cried over this one. 

The art is stunning, the metaphors are amazing (the main character’s epilepsy is visually portrayed as a set of ghostly knives that follow him around) and the ending is extremely affecting if you’ve ever dealt with any kind of chronic illness. 

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba

The absolute most fun I had reading a comic this year. Gets extremely dark and incredibly sad but never feels overwhelmingly heavy, thanks to its great sense of humor. 

Edward Scissorhands: Parts Unknown + Whole Again

A series of adventures set decades after the movie, after Kim’s death, in a time when her granddaughter begins wondering if the stories about the castle on the hill are true. 

It deals with such issues as the difficulties Kim had with her daughter growing up, when all she would do is tell stories about Edward rather than give her the emotional support she needed, whether removing the thing that both makes you unique and brings pain is worth it and how to stop angry villagers from burning down your house (again). 

Also, seeing Edward be surrounded by a group of friends who care about him was extremely healing.

Comics - Nonfiction

My Solo Exchange Diary vol 1-2

A series of updates about the author’s continuing battle with mental illness and about how recovery is anything but a straight line. 

Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant?

Finally, some light reading!

It’s a memoir about the decline and death of the author’s aging parents. 

I found it...extremely comforting. Extreme old age, whether in one’s self or in one’s loved ones, is a scary and often obscured prospect, despite being a near-universal human experience. This book took the mystery out of aging and the fear out of taking care of aging parents. I’ve seen it done now. I’m more ready to do it myself.

The Best We Could Do

A memoir of the author’s family’s flight from Vietnam and their immigration to America, through the lens of the birth of the author’s first child. About how being a refugee changes a person in small, often unexpected ways, how trauma leaves its mark on families - and how, knowing all this, one can still keep living and raising the next generation.

Film - Fiction

I caught up on a lot of classics I’d not seen before and really got into Jidaigeki this year. Me putting only four of them on the list is a show of restraint. Of the 64 films I watched this year...

The Fall of the House of Usher 

Impeccable costume and psychedelic set design. The unanswered question that bounces throughout the entire movie: is it the curse or is it the fault of human belief in the curse?

Patch your walls, dude.

A Monster With a Thousand Heads 

A Mexican thriller about a woman whose husband is denied cancer treatment for seemingly no reason. The doctor gives her the runaround. No one can answer her questions. No one listens to her.

So, naturally, she and her teenage son spend a night kidnapping and holding at gunpoint every person she needs to get her husband’s cancer treatment approved. Wild and intense and timely.

Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

I watched a couple of Kubrick movies I hadn’t seen before and of them...I died laughing at this one. The tight plotting! The inevitable buildup to disaster over something so insanely stupid! 

I did not live during the Cold War, but damn do I feel for the inherent ridiculousness of it now.

Seven Samurai

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAFGFTRTRNHUKIJUHNJNHHHHHHHHHHHHYHYHYHYHYHYHYHYHYXCVVGGERDSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

...this movie is insanely good. I watched Citizen Kane this year. This movie’s better. 

It has a plot which can be described in its totality, in a single sentence - a group of samurai are hired to defend a village from bandits - but what they do with that premise is so much more than that. 

This movie is three hours long. It did not lag once. 

Hara Kiri

As the Tokugawas secure their grip on all of Japan, war ceases. Great houses are dissolved and their retainers, cast into the streets. The relevance of the samurai is ending and the cities are awash in starving ronin. 

Once, one of these starving ronin approached a great house, asking if he might be able to end his life honorably, in front of witnesses there. So impressed was the lord with this ronin’s resolve, that he instead hired him on as one of his retainers. 

Hearing this story, other ronin, having no intention of actually offing themselves, tried the same trick in the hopes of securing a job, or at the very least, a little something to eat. 

It became a common scam which, in the end, fooled no one. Most houses gave the ronin a handful of cash and sent them on their way. 

But one house, seeking to preserve their warlike spirit in these peaceful times, chooses to treat one beggar ronin very differently. 

This is the story of vengeance taken for that death.

Yojimbo

A ronin enters a town that is being torn apart by gang warfare and decides to play both sides in order to end the conflict. It contains such comedic gems as:

 - the ronin suddenly deciding not to take part in a street battle, leaving both sides evenly matched and extremely nervous about fighting each other, while he watches it all from the top of a watchtower, laughing his ass off

 - the ronin is critically injured and being smuggled out of town in a coffin. A fight breaks out while this is happening and scares away one of the people carrying the coffin. A less intelligent goon of the gang he just escaped from is cheerfully recruited to carry the coffin the rest of the way

 - standing up in the coffin, declaring that he’s fine and immediately fainting

Also, you should totally bring a knife to a gun fight. 

Ran

A jidaigeki reimagining of King Lear. 

A visually astounding, sweeping epic with amazing acting and a complex interplay of conflicting passions which might just be more bleak than the original play. 

The scene in which the main character goes mad and is cast out into the wilderness is especially haunting.

Jojo Rabbit

I don’t think I’ve EVER experienced such violent mood whiplash in a movie before. One moment you’re crying-laughing from a joke that hit with absolute perfection and the next you’re...actually crying. In the same scene. Within thirty seconds. Multiple times. It is the oddest feeling to be so elated by the best joke in the entire movie while every character we’ve come to know across the course of the movie is in the process of dying violently. It’s not a feeling everyone’s going to like, but for me it was completely new and fantastic. 

The best part of the movie is the main character’s relationship with Imaginary Friend Hitler. He’s wildly funny and relentlessly charming. I got excited every time he appeared in a scene and was, oddest of all, actually comforted by his presence. 

He was all of these things until, in the most terrifying scene in the movie, he was not.

This movie shows you the mechanisms through which fascism becomes an appealing idea for a lonely child by putting the audience through a version of the same process. It’s so clever, so funny and so sad. 

What do you do when your world is destroyed by absurdity and there is nothing left for you to return to?

You dance in the streets.

TV Series

Good Omens 

Wildly hilarious comedy, fantastic costume design, multiple androgynous characters for which NO ONE bats an eye and honestly?? the best queer love story I’ve ever seen in television or film. 

The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance

I am not sure if I have ever seen a production with so much love poured into it. The dozens of painstakingly crafted sets and characters, the sheer level of artistry on display - the next thing I saw was always more amazing than the thing I’d seen before it and the amazingness just kept coming with no end in sight throughout the entirety of the show.

And the story itself! The way it deepened and played with the lore of the original movie in the most perfect and unexpected ways! It felt like I was watching the most fantastic and labor intensive piece of fanfiction ever conceived, that was written by a person with a deep passion for and knowledge of the source material. 

Speaking of fantastic throwbacks...

Dororo

I’ve said a lot about this one already. While it ultimately fell kind of flat, what it did get right was phenomenal. The motherfucking FIGHT SCENES! The love between bros! The fascinating reconception of Hyakkimaru’s powers and its emphasis on a disabled character actually being portrayed as disabled! The journey of good characters going down the path of evil with good intentions!

Mwah!

Primal eps 1-5

Genndy Tartakovsky’s next big project after the completion of Samurai Jack! 

It is gory. Like, extremely gory. Do you know how much gore a thing has to have before I consider it ‘extremely gory?’ It’s a lot. Like...really a lot. There’s a thirty second (or possibly longer. time lost all meaning as I watched it) sequence in which the main character punches the intestines out of a horde of hominids in loving, exacting detail. It’s like Genndy’s letting out all the pent-up gore he was forced to keep in check during the years when he was working on Samurai Jack. 

But it isn’t just gore. It’s a journey about the main character’s grief over the sudden, horrific, unexpected death of his entire family. A story which is also mirrored by that of the dinosaur he joins forces with. There were parts during it in which I literally felt my heart being torn in two over the travails of these two, as well as wildly funny and completely adorable parts.

The settings, creature design and fight choreography are insanely creative, as is the decision to do it with no dialogue whatsoever.

And that cliffhanger, DAMN!! They’d better get the next five episodes out soon!

Honorable Mention:

Rick and Morty S4 eps 1-5

This one doesn’t entirely make the list proper because the latter two episodes...were rather subpar. But I can’t entirely keep it off the list because the quality of the first three episodes was off the charts. A particular shoutout to ‘The Old Man and the Seat’ and ‘One Crew Over the Crewcoo’s Morty’ - the former, which somehow managed to use toilet humor, of all things, to reach a crushingly tragic conclusion and the latter, which has a twist better than that of some of my favorite horror movies. 

Games

Shogun 2

I didn’t do a whole lot of gaming at all this year. But what I did do is have a fantastic time getting into the Total War franchise. Shogun 2 was my entry point and a FANTASTIC game. The ninja animations! The tiny, exacting animations of every single person running around on a sinking ship! The way Realm Divide changes the game into something much more dangerous and the way I learned to dance on the edge of it until I was good and ready! 

Plays

Love’s Labours Lost

One of two Shakespeare plays I saw this year, the other being The Tempest - which was also excellent (especially the part where it legit started raining when Ariel summoned the storm in the first scene and then that showing had to be cancelled. The second time was the charm). 

Love’s Labours Lost had some excellent comedy and the usual absurd web of misunderstandings you’d expect to find in your standard Shakespeare romcom. But the thing which pushed it over the edge for me was that...it had a sad ending. It goes against the definition of comedy and has a sad ending. Because it was so unexpected, it hit unexpectedly hard and made it that much more memorable.

[ghostmartyr]

SnK 106 Thoughts

PATION

What a mess.

In Yu Yu Hakusho, the antagonist of one arc is a man who used to have the protagonist’s job. He’s described as a character who sees things in black and white. When he’s confronted with the grey of the world, he snaps and ends up with a lot of new voices in his head. One of the descriptions of him and his journey is that such a pure soul, once touched by corruption, is destined to turn entirely dark.

The individual describing this finds it enthralling.

Eren’s friends appear a touch more against it.

I’m really tempted to just say, “and then Eren ruined everything,” and stop typing, because every time I try to form deeper thoughts, it feels like that summary would save everyone a lot of time. Mostly me. It’s also more amusing than addressing exactly how he’s ruined everything, because yikes.

As a deep appreciator of the themes I believe this series holds most dear, I like this chapter.

As a deep appreciator of Eren pre-timeskip... ahaha tfw Armin is an audience surrogate. Geez.

This is a sad chapter. Yes, that gets its own sentence. It will possibly get its own sentence multiple times, because it is the most accurate statement I can make about what’s going on in this awful world.

I think I said once or twice (a month) that my problem with the Marley chapters is that there was no hope for the stars of it. The Warriors, even if they were to succeed, are pawns in a system that doesn’t care about anything but bleeding them dry of every use it can before it cannibalizes them. Month after month, we saw good people growing up in an evil world that would corrupt even the best of their intentions.

That is a depressing setting to spend a year in. Everything about it makes you start seeing nothing but trains in each glimmer of hope down the pit. Part of why I wanted to get back to Paradis so badly, besides cast preference, was that Paradis still has the concept of hope.

Yeah, it’s a concept that is largely built on sacrificing many, many lives, but when they think that they’re dying to leave a better world behind, where less of them are eaten alive, they’re not wrong. Their view of the world is horribly incomplete, and deliberately so until they dismantle the worst of their government, but the lies that build the foundation of their world are not self-perpetuating.

People on Paradis can move forward, and make the decision to try to blow up the brick wall they run straight into. In Marley, those brick walls have been arranged as a rat maze for Eldians to run.

Now we’re back with people trying to change the world for the better. And the odds are bleak. The first conversation Hange and Yelena has lays it out nicely: Paradis is not built for the kind of war waiting on their doorstep.

The wonder in Yelena’s eyes at these professional titan slayers is a beautiful sight to behold. No other group on the planet has fought these monsters so successfully, and other countries are still a few technology upgrades away from being able to say the same.

Human v human combat on a large scale, though? That is the one thing they’ve never really dealt with. They’ve lived in fear of it at times, when their walls started feeling like the cage they were, but it’s not a thing they’ve concentrated on.

Compare that to literally the entire rest of the world.

Paradis fights giants.

But like. Non-figurative ones.

This applies that same fundamental to a very different environment, and it’s no surprise that the enormity of that ask has led to some sad places. There’s a reason not everyone joins the Survey Corps. There’s a reason, before RAB show up, people wonder why they even need the Survey Corps.

Fighting impossible odds is a fruitless endeavor, from many perspectives. The will to keep with it is hard to harness. A lot of the people we have still fighting have been given some very rough shoves into it.

Wanting better for a world that doesn’t think it needs to change is challenging. It’s been challenging from the beginning, but with the setting expansion, we’re back to fighting giants.

What this chapter illustrates fantastically is which members of our cast are still dreamers. From the start, the Scouts have been full of crazy outcasts who shoot for the moon. Even Erwin, the guy thought to be the most rational of them, starts out as a starry-eyed kid. These people don’t just believe in eventual victory; they believe in the world that victory can create.

There’s an entire ocean out there. Volcanoes. Glaciers. Armin makes this point really, really easy.

There are trains. Zeppelins. You can fly through the air without 3DMG. Guns that fires multiple shots are commonplace. Ports. More foods than you could ever imagine.

You can see so many soldiers light up this chapter. For a year, they’ve known about the outside world. They’ve known they’re hated. They’ve known this is a serious fucking problem and oh no.

Then they hear about what else is out there, and it’s like they’re all little kids reading illegal library books. Yelena looks at Titans and the Scouts with awe. Hange is thrilled by every new word Onyankopon and Yelena share. Sasha experiences seafood. Nicolo’s first understanding of the demons of Paradis as people comes from experiencing Sasha. Armin and Mikasa can talk about the Marley soldiers they’ve come to know with a smile.

Enter the Eren of it all.

His name is Eeyore now.

In the beginning there was darkness. Eren, he of ferocity and indignation, brought a spark to everyone he met. Before Trost, he inspires an entire squad to ditch their original reasons for joining the army and follow the insane dreamers. He brings Mikasa a reason to fight. Just by being a good friend, he helps his country find its true ruler. After the serum bowl, he has no trouble believing that Armin, his best friend, is worth every bit as much and more as Erwin.

He vows to become humanity’s hope. Again and again, he confronts challenges no one’s ready for, and he removes the question of his ability in favor of always taking the next step forward. Do or do not, there is no try, and he always chooses to do.

They’re surrounded by all sides. Walls have been replaced by ocean. There are enemies out there. They aren’t ready for them. They need to be ready.

Eren’s only moment of hope this chapter is when Zeke’s plan is proposed. The plan to scare the world into leaving them alone long enough to live. Eren talks about a destructive force smashing everything underfoot, and his eyes light up.

It isn’t a seashell. It isn’t a train. It isn’t lobster tail. It’s power.

When Yelena’s boat comes in, he’s angry. They can’t do anything. They’re helpless. He wants to be able to do something before they’re all wiped out.

Zeke brings him that.

Everywhere in this damn chapter, Eren’s eventual isolation on Marley is illuminated. He’s kept marching forward, just like they all have, but unlike the rest of them, he does it without faith.

“If we don’t fight... we can’t win.”

“If we win... we live.”

Mikasa’s side comes first. Eren doesn’t bother reaching that point.

I don’t know that Eren knows what living means anymore. For Mikasa, it’s her family. For Connie, it’s his friends. Plenty of characters have things or people that light up their world, and they dream of the day when they’ll be able to enjoy that light without danger encroaching.

Eren’s powers start out as a symbol of hope. It’s appropriate, then, that he’s lost his. Fight, fight, fight, but what for?

Heck, even his decision to hide Historia’s possibly significance originally came from a human place. A day or so after watching Armin die, he can’t do anything but reject the possibility of sacrificing another friend.

A year later, Eren doesn’t even flinch when he discusses that motivation. “I will admit that it was a thoughtless decision.”

(Sidebar:

Am I seeing things, or does Eren look a lot like Frieda there? I mean yes, the hair length, but the way the framing is done, his bangs are cut off, letting it match up more closely to Frieda’s style, and their pupil/iris style has always been similar. I ask rhetorically because Eren has Frieda’s memories, and on the topic of Historia, that feels very relevant. Please be intentional and not an optical illusion.

Let Eren be Historia’s big sister 2k18. He has at least two voices in his head who adore their baby sisters, give me this.)

Historia might not be Armin-Mikasa tier of friendship, but she doesn’t need to be (and hell, she’s the one witness to him begging for death; I’d call that a bonding experience (...actually, based on where things were left on Historia’s side, Eren is her best friend, and wow is that not a good spot to be in (go find Connie, Historia; he’s down a bestie))). Eren loves his friends. That is perhaps on a top three list of important Eren traits. Trost is basically a giant introduction arc, and a primary point is Eren’s rock-solid faith in Armin, his bestie.

Eren loves his damn friends. It was not a thoughtless decision to hide the risk to Historia; it was him being at the end of his tolerance for anything coming even close to hurting one of his people. It was a bad decision, and everyone should be very annoyed with him for not letting it enter the think tank for a whole year, because hey, maybe we don’t want to turn the reigning monarch into a titan, but experimenting with blood magic might be useful just a little don’t you think kind of.

Dumb decisions do not equal baseless ones. Eren being comfortable writing off his concern is a very bloody red flag.

At one point, the threat to Historia mattered to him (which, again: Eren, they were not going to turn the reigning monarch into a fucking titan on a whim).

At one point, working together with his friends as a team mattered to him.

At one point, the ocean could bring a light to his eyes.

Now, everyone around him is on board with chasing freedom. He isn’t chasing it with them. He’s chasing the win. What comes after that, who knows, but he can’t find out until he wins. That’s what matters. His buddies can talk all they want about making friends and life being better, he’ll be busy practicing his aim.

Eren.

You and Reiner need therapy.

Seek. Help. Stop murdering children and go find Mikasa and ask for a hug, because she’s probably the only one who might go for that at the moment and you need one. Well, maybe your brother might too. You know, that guy who will spend the last year of his life receiving death threats from Levi every single day.

This is a very nicely constructed chapter, and for once it makes me happy that Armin likes playing narrator. ...Even if I think I’m supposed to care that he’s addressing his narration to someone. And I don’t. I really don’t. Please don’t ask me to.

But yeah, coming back to Armin, who gives birth to Eren’s dream, at the obvious death of it, is a great format. Eren was right during serum bowl. Armin’s never lost sight of the ocean. Armin has always dropped into moodiness fast, but he doesn’t get lost in it. He’s sensitive, but nowhere close to fragile.

He’s as lost as everyone is with this, so he does the sensible thing: he goes to someone who must have known what it’s like to bear a burden like this. Annie can’t talk back, but Armin knows her experiences well enough to go to her anyway.

When Annie’s a giant, looking down at the tiny ants of the Survey Corps, she spares his life. She kills plenty of people (funny how insignificant that feels nowadays...), but Annie, in an impossible situation, finds room to let her heart stop her from destroying everything.

Armin destroys everything. He doesn’t see a face and pause. He walks, and buildings fall, and people die.

I think Armin’s always seen something of a kindred spirit in Annie. She’s a fighter, but she’s also a thinker. Most of the things she says have an ocean of depth to them, and I think that Armin is someone who appreciates that. Now that he knows what it’s like to kill huge numbers, feeling like he has to, it’s no surprise that he’s reaching out to her.

Especially since his best friend is unrecognizable right now.

I hope it won’t stick, but... the assault on Marley was horrific, and even if the same choice would have been reached regardless, Eren’s actions guaranteed devastation. Armin’s Paradis’ most destructive weapon right now. His best friend abandoning them turns him into a mass murderer.

That is not a small thing. And part of why it hurts so much is that Armin thought he understood his best friend better than anyone. He’s known Eren for years. He’s previously been a staunch shipper of Mikasa and Eren, but he still puts his understanding of their guy over hers. Before this.

Eren’s not who he used to be. No one is, but Eren’s trials have broken him into something his friends don’t trust, and don’t know how to trust.

“I wonder if... just maybe... there could have been a different path. I keep on coming back to that.”

There’s good in this world, and it’s worth fighting for. What they’ve got to worry about is how much of that good their fight will destroy before the end.

This is a sad chapter.