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popculturebuffet · 3 years

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Top 20 Animated Episodes of 2020 Part 2 (#10-#1)

And we’re back.. The first part is HERE, which includes the first 10 and my thoughts on this past year in animation, so we can cut the long intro and get right into it. This is the best episodes this year had to offer in animation, and it’s , without meaning to, at least a third bojack horseman. On with the show.

10. I Am My Monster (Steven Universe Future) “We all had Steven when we needed him, but the only person who's never had Steven is Steven. He's always been there for us, so... how can we be there for him now?“ Oddly “The Future”, a finale I did really truly enjoy.. is not on this list. Really good episode, it’s just Future was easily one of Steven Univereses best season, tightining up the pacing without loosing what made the series feel special and really digging into some of more unhealthy aspects of steven’s life. And while the future is good and certanily the needed epilogue.. this episode is the climax, the cumilation of EVERYTHING Steven had done and gone though and something fans sadly saw coming and just had to simply watch, unable to help as Steven slowly lost himself. Previously on this list we saw him hit rock bottom and it only got worse: He went to home world, attacked white diamond due to his pent up trauma and once again ingored attempts to help him, this time from the diamonds and spinle, angrily refusing to listen to his own words she she sang Change at him. This only got worse in the briliant and sadly edged out of the list “Everything’s Fine’ A really damn painful episode where steven tries to assert he’s okay and act normal.. only he cant and he destroys everything around him, and even repeats pearl’s text trick from a single pale rose with a pained voice message to connie saying to help steven. But the pressure of the LONG overdue intervension and the fact it came too late.. means steven confsses his recent sins.. and instead of taking them for twhat they are, spur of the moment acts caused by a toxic influence and a fuckload of ptsd and unreseovled issues with white that while certanly not okay are symptoms of a larger issues takes it to mean “Im a fraud”.. and thus he horriingly corurpts. So here we are as Greg, Connie and the main gems all gap ein horor as Steven has corrputed himself, reduced to a monster whose not even malcious just.. sad.. so full of self loathing he can’t function and at risk of STAYING like that. And the relization hits hard.. and hits everyone who joins in hard. The auxilery crystal gems soon join but attempts from both groups to stop Steven do nothing. The diamonds arrive.. and not only are saddneed by what htey’ve doned but equally powerfless to stop him. Everyone breaks down, blaming themselves for not seeing this sooner and for speding YEARS piling their issue on the kids, everyone ready to give up as they loose the person they care about most.. except one. Connie proves to be the hero of the episode, rallying the others with the above, pointing out Steven would happily help them if he could.. and that’s the problem. He’s spent his whole life fixing other peoples problems and focusing on that.. but never had someone to be HIS Steven. Fighting him’s not going to work.. he needs to know he’s loved... in the end the final battle of the series is not some struggle of life and death.. but of love. What wins the day isn’t a fight, though our heroes various powers do come in hand to restrain steven.. but it’s all of them, one by one telling them they love him in easily the most tearjerking moment of the series, cumilating in connie softly playing a kiss on his nose... and it’s this that FIANLLY frees steven from his self made prison.. finally realizing h’es not alone and that no matter who or what he becomes.. his family loves and forgives him. While we REALLY needed the next episode to wrap things up after this swell of emtitions. this was the climax the series desrved: after spending 6 seasons trying to help everyone ELSE and fix their issues he never should’ve had to.. it’s eveyrone else who gladly pitches in to fix steven’s own issues, to help HIM when he’s at his lowest point like they’ve been, and make it so he can FINALLY heal and finally find himself once and for all. IT’s one of the finest episodes of the series and easily the best of future.

9. The Perfect House (Close Enough) “I’m this close to connecting garfield, TO JESUS” This one’s just really funny, charming and creative. Simple as that.. I could move on but eh i’m a wordy bastard. Once again we’re focused on Emily, this time as we find out an endearing hobby of hers: She likes visiting open houses and fantasizing about affording a better place she likely never will afford, one with trash can nooks, a kitchen and a living room that are fully seperate, and indivudal bins for tea and sugar... and when it’s pointed out she dosen’t drink tea it’s only because she has nowhere to put it. But after Josh and Candace get them thrown out, if adorably so, Emily is forced to face reality... i.e. Alex, in one of the series finest gags, in his underwear with conspiracy boards trying to connect garifled to jesus and having a jug of his urine around for some reason. Did I mention I love this weirdo because I do. Brigette is painting in the ktichen.. using her body as the canvas, though in a bikini because the show wasn’t streaming only yet. You’ll have to wait a season for possible boobs. Naturally this just stresses her out so she goes to visit more houses while Josh vows to buy a family bike, a large circular bike for the whole family, as an activity because of course he does and of COURSE he also has a recurring issue of being mocked by some random kid about not having one.

So she escapes and meets dave and caitlin, a husband whose family life is miserable and a child star who got emanicapted and they quickly form a psuedo family to look at open houses.. only to, as if to remind you what show your watching, instead end up in a tgif sitcom... and trapped in a styigian void, with only Emily desperate to get out. Also she’s been missing three days and Josh has some thoughts on that and goes after her. Naturally given she’s crashing in on her fake sitcom family, this oly has him seen as a plot element, and Emily’s attempt at cursing and everything she can , while hilarious fail.. but the climax is what makes the episode and what inches it slighlty above quack pack.. which itself was fucking awesome. Instead of FIGHTING the format... Emily is forced to play into it, and realizes a cheesy moment of emtional honesty is what’s needed. She apologizes to her fake family, saying their nice but she has to face the world and to josh and much like Donald, seroiusly this episode was made years ago and there’s no way in hell frank knew about it, she just needed an escape but it’s more healthy: instead of wishing for a life she never had Emily just wants a break from the life she does for five minutes. She’s happy where she is, with her loving husband, wonderful daughter, impulsive but still carring best friend.. and well okay maybe not Alex, there’s somethihng really wrong with him, but as much as I love the guy I admit he’s not for everyone. I’m also a borderline feral man covered in hair who wants people to know i’m smart. I get him.

IT’s this that sets her free.. and we get another amazing gag as Dave’s family shows up and Dave chooses the fantasy.. though instead of this being thorughly pogiant it’s just “classic dave”. COmplete with title sequence. And of course it ends on a family bike with Emily getting those tins from Josh. Their relationship.. is REALLY what makes both this show and this episode in paticular work. Here while Emily screws up, it STARTS innocently enough, simply faking being a family and spirals into tgif because while this show isn’t, possibly, in the regular show cinematic universe, it’s defintely in the same multiverse. She just wants some peace of mind from a chaotic life, but dosen’t resent her husband or anything.. he just frustrates her sometimes which is fair. But he’s never portrayed as an abusive asshat which you think would be a low bar to clear but.. you’d be suprised. Point is it’s a wonderfully weird and somehow still unique despite being one of three tgif parodies this year. Seriously that shit is a goldmine. It’s how Dashieel Driscoll got half a season out of full house and a good chunk of a very special epsiode as a whole out of it. Though a certain incident helped.

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Point is good show, jolly good show... and ew’ll be right back with the rest afte the cut

8. Agony of a Witch/Old Bodies, Young Souls (The Owl House) “You always thought you were better than me! That I could never Beat you at anything! “ “I AM Better than you!” “Then WHY WERE YOU SO EASY TO CURSE?!” The Owl House was a show I took WAY too long to catch up on after missing the second half of season 2.. minus Enchanting Grom Fright which I caught first run and we’ll get to that story shortly. Point is my procastnation did me dirty here as this show , which was already fantastic just got better and better, cumulating in this epic, heartdestroying, soul punching, beautifully animated finale that takes everything the show has built up thus far, blows it up in some places and uses it to beautifully end in others, leaving us with a new road for the future. So yeah naturally it’s been a long ride as one of Owl House’s strength.. is that no episode is filler. No really, each one has a purpose great or small in the larger narrative, and every major arc has been expertly paced and crafted, bringing us to this point. The only major arc or plot thread left out is Amity, and that’s honestly for the better. Make NO mistake, she’s a great character.. but like fellow great Donald Duck, she was left out because the episode had a LOT of emotional stuff going on, a lot of plot to fit in, and a lot to do and it’s simply better for her character and for the moment’s she’s bound to have in response to well.. everything happening here, to let it breathe next season rather than try to shove it into an already stuffed two episodes. But this episode is one long string of payoffs, and payoffs creating more setups: So all season Eda, our loveable witch, has been grappling with a curse that turns her into an owl beast, one that’s been getting worse as far back as the mid season finale Escape from the Palisman. She’s been needing more and more elixer to combat it, a harrowing parallel to some real world diseases: Sometimes your meds can only DO so much to combat something actively killing you.. thankfully this time.. not speaking from personal experince. And Luz finds out soon into the episode as Eda makes a cloak of witches wool, which can deflect powerful spells, to protect herself.. only to black out and go owl just as she’s saying she’s fine. Like most parents would Eda hid just how bad things have gotten and it’s gone from needing just one bottle of elixer to needing their entire suply, and even that barely worked. Despite her mentor’s assurances, Luz is now PAINFULLY aware her mentor is on borrowoed time... not helped by the fact the coven attacked earlier that morning and she finds out by finding hooty playing tea party with them, meaning Eda is outgunned, outmanned and while Lilith failed, again.. the emperor can now easily find her himself and send whoever he wnats and however many people he wants to fetch her.. and Eda can’t use too much of her magic or else. So while Eda and King, touched by how much Luz has changed them, decide to throw a suprise party with King making a big cake to jump out of and Eda using witches wool she intended for herself to make her a cape. Meanwhile as you’d expect Luz.. is plotting a dangerous and life threatning mission: with a field trip to the Emperor’s Coven that day, one she was going to sit out because you know they hate her second mom for dogmatic and vile reasons the episode fleshes out, she finds out they have an artifact called the healing hat that can seemingly heal anything. So she does what Luz does and comes up with an impulsive plan to heist the thing.. but for once her impuslivness isn’t played for laughs. Her mother figure is slowly sucumbing to a fate worse than death, for once instead of just acting rashly because Luz.. she’s doing so because she KNOWS, that she has no other choice. Nothing else in sight and she’s smart enough to know that if Eda had a cure she’d of told Luz about it. Even if it was dangerous or required a sacrifice or something Eda would’ve just left that part out. But the trip serves a few other purposes besides getting Luz where she needs to be for the plot that makes it work: it elaborates on just what the emperor’s coven is like and WHY Emperor Belos gets away with everything: He claims to speak for the titan, the giant dead monster whose body makes up the boiling isles and who, as Luz has discovered, is the source of the magic there. So when he bloodily, I mean it’ sa kid show so they dont’ say so but given how violent this one is i’m asssuming bloody, took power, he claimed they were doing magic wrong, killed any hertiics and set up the rigid coven system. It explains just WHY the boiling isles limits themselves, gives the whole thing a creepy dogmatic religion vibe.. something that i’m REALLY suprised disney let them get away with as they had to fight for gays in the series.. but at the same time shouldn’t be because hunchback of notre dame exists and Soul , released the same year, was a big gamble against the bible belt. So their not afriad of religious groups.. but they ARE afraid of homophobic groups.. which have a lot of overlap.

Point is it’s a good storytelling device.. and cathartic given i’ve been playing Fire Emblem: Three Houses as I finally bought it with some christmas money. Good game, probably will talk about it in the future, not the point here.

The point is that the visit gives us some worldbuilding that helps show just how much of a threat the coven is and why their so intent on capturing Eda. We also finally meet belos, god emperor and man tired of Lillith’s shit and giving her till twilight to get Eda.. or presumibly die. I mean he dosen’t say it but he sure is implying it as loud as he can. That’s when things go pear shaped for Luz who finds the hat.. and LIlith who has found her barganing chip to lure Eda to her, which works as well as you’d expect and leads to the best figh tin the series thus far and one of , if not it’s best scene; A duel between edith and lilith. And while they fought back in Covention this time it’s not a petty squabble between siblings masquerading as one trying to capture the other.. it’s fight NEITHER can afford to loose. Eda can’t loose her protege and Lilith will loose everything, dying at best being cast out of the coven at worst, if she fails not to mention loosing what she feels is her only chance at saving her sister. But it’s also VERY clear Lilith is groosly outmatched, and while no slouch herself Eda’s constant bragging about being “the most powerful witch on the boiling isles”.. is entirely backed up. Lilith barely is able to hold herself and only gets ahead by using a child as a shiled, going even lower than her sister. However the stress of this, the build of having been the older sister of someone who constantly outshined her then turned entirely against her, finally causes lilith to snap.. and reveal the curse is her fault. Cissy Jones delivery here.. is jsut perfect, showing a mixture of rage and pain, showing that she’s spent YEARS hiding this, years resenting her sister for constnatly being better desptie working harder and doing the right thigns. Even when she’s trying to HELP Eda, genuinely trying to undo her mistake as we find out and as we’ve seen genuinely sees the emperor as the wise and benevlolent god he portrays himself as.. she can’t let it go. SHe can’t see past her own bitterness to see her sister is right and if she could just let this go and work on Eda’s terms instead of forcing Eda into her world, then maybe it wouldn’t of gotten this bad. Maybe she could’ve told her.

Eda takes it about as well as you’d expect, and Lilith.. uses this to threaten luz’s life and force eda to use up her magic to save her, leading to the series most heartbreaking moment and Wendy Mallick’s best acting so far as she bids her appretnince a tearful farewell. Luz RIGHTFULLY and angrily lashes out at lilith calling her a monster while Lilith takes Eda and urges luz to go home... and after a tearful ending with king realizing something’s deeply wrong.

So thus next episode after a history lesson from king and some suprisinging caution as he KNOWS what Luz is up against.. Luz still decides she dosne’t care. Eda’s sacrificed herself, to Luz it’s her fault she’s in this which while KINDA accurate missues some fine points such as her sister’s stubborness or the fact had lilith not shown up she could’ve taken the hat. And the fact LIlith saying the hat was junk was pretty unreliable. What i’m saying is maybe the child shoudln’t blame herself for being kidnapped while genuinely tring to reach the same goal.

But Lilith soon learns to her horror her sister was right. While Belos restores Eda’ss sentience even fully owled.. he has no intrest in helping her, eveyr intrest in publicly petrifying her, and not even the slightest hint of remorse at betraying lilith this deeply. After all her faith in the man.. Belos spat in her face and told her to like it. Meanwhile Luz goes on the warpath, and we see just how far she’s come.. and WHY Belos is probably so restrictive with magic and put it on such a tight leash: we see that with her natural power and just a handful of spells, the four she’s pciked up over the season, she easily curbstomps the conformotrium staff, gets to Eda fairly easily.. and fines sshe can’t free her and eda wants the door destroyed so whatever Belos wants with it, he can’t have it. Luz heads home, ready to destroy the door.. onlyt of ind two things. her magic dosen’t work there.. and Lilith followed her and grabbed king. After a breif fight and Luz angrily and rightously confroting the asshole, wish she was in Eda’s place.. Lilith admits luz’s right and gives her backstory: That her insecurity was so great that on the day before a duel with Eda to determine who got into the emperoror’s coven, she curfsed her own sister, with no idea it’d last this long or get this bad. And with no idea Eda had lost intrest in it and WILLINGLY gave her sister teh spot.. It’s very clear despite her masssive flaws that will need to be adressed.. lilith never stopped caring about her sister, and it took all this to make her realize that trying to fix the mistake on HER terms without including her sister.. instead has almost cost her it. So Luz and King relucntnatly take her help, though the other two are quickly capatured when theyt ry to get to hte exceution platform and thrown in the cage with Eda.. which dosne’t help the coven’s reputation as gus and willow try to make a case for Eda. Meanwhile we get the SECOND best fight of the series as Luz challenges Bellows.. and it’s UTTERLY chillling and while he’s had scenes before this it’s here we get the true scope of who he is ..and that like eda the god complex is something he can back up. Whlie Luz proves just how strong she’s gotten by keeping up with him it’s barely, and it’s clear from the moment go, and one of the series best shots, with Belos creeply materlizing behind her before announcing “sure, i’ll play” that this is a game. She’s no challenge to him and he simply wants to see waht she can do and is mildly impressed if a tad annoyed at her actually damaging his mask. But with Eda, King and Lilith’s lives in the ballance the only way Luz can save htem.. is to give him waht he wants.

Thing is, just like Lilith, just like everyone has, good an dbad all season.... Belos undereesitmated luz.. who left fire runes on the door, willnig to sacrifice ever seeing her mom again if it meant keeping him away from her. While he has no invasion planned whatever it is CANNOT be good. Luz saves them, and Eda flies them off with Belos saying the titan dismissed them. Also that Belos has a big penis.. super huge, size of a tractor that one. Yeah that’s the ticket.

But we get a happyish ending as LIlith does what she should’ve done a long time ago and apologizes, and Eda starts to fogive her, brought on by King earlier standing up to her as whle he’s not happy with her either, he realizes from her story she’s not a bad person.. just a very messed up one who couldn’t own up to her mistakes. One who belivied in the wrong person to fix her problem and finally takes repsonsiblity and part of the curse into her. So with the sequel hook of Eda having lost her internal magic power but still being able to use glyph’s like luz, we also find out the Emperor has the door and a mysterious masked minon,.. who i’m fairly certain isn’t amity only because it’s too obvious. This is simply how you end a season: It’s engaging, heartbreaking, well animated and pays off EVEYRHTING so far while setting up the season to come. It’s going to be a LONG wait till next time, mid-this year.. but I can wait. The high from this one’s going to last a while.

7. Good Damage (Bojack Horseman) “ That means that all the damage I got isn't good damage. It's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could have been happy this whole time and written books about girl detectives and been cheerful and popular and had good parents, is that what you're saying? What was it all for?! “

Bojack Horseman is one of the best shows of the last decade, and an important one to me. it was the first one I watched when we switched to all streaming. I really related to Bojack and his struggles with depresion and self loathing.. which backfired given he’s a much worse person than me and while I could relate, I also compared myself too much to a character who in retrospect is both far worse and has FAR MORE issues than I do and diffrent ones at that outside of the depression and self hatred. The point i’m framing is that the series and I have a complicated relationship and that coupled with how bad 2020 was meant it took until a few days ago to finally finish it, almost a year later. But I cannot deny how good the show is: it has faults, a bit of reptititon in some character arcs, casting a white woman as a Vietnamize-American woman (something both Ralph Paul Waskerberg and Alison Brie have apologized for to their credit), and .. I can’t think of a last one. They never brought Ralph back? Yeah let’s go with that one what the fuck there. So I felt I owed the show one last round and it payed off as the final stretch, while easily the hardest to get through due to covering the collapse of Bojack’s life, is easily one of it’s best.

But before the fall, we get Good Damage, which instead of focusing on BoJack focuses on Diane, said asian woman voiced by a white lady, neurotic writer and Bojack’s best friend, who has moved to Chicago to be with her boyfriend guy, a chill, charasmatic and likeable buffalo cameraman. Things are going better than they ever have: she’s in a supportive relationship and thanks to her antidipresenants, while still her loveably neurotic self, is now not obessing over shit as much and is solving her problems with applomb. Even the weight gain from her meds, which she dreaded in the previous half of the season.. has insteead only made her look healthier and happier, and more beautiful than ever.

The only problem is she can’t write her long promised Memoir, which Princess Carlolyn, her former boss, agent and loveable pink cat and single mother, has promised to a lot of celebrities. She TRIES, she puts lots of work into it, keeps trying to sit there but nothing comes out. And what makes the episode truly great is how this is presented. Bojack is no stranger to beautiful, visually diverse episodes, Stupid Peace of Shit being a notable example and one similar to this one but uniquely great in it’s own way, but this one is easly the bes,t using a squiggly crude style to show just how chaotic and uncomfortable diane is and how stuck she is. She’s TRYING, but she just can’t make her life’s story into anything GOOD, she can’t get the words out which as someone whose had reams of projects I never startd, even to this day and who has genuine trouble writing fiction.... I related to this like all hell. But even people who have never had an intrest in writng can just get the feeling thanks to the wonderful writing and animation, from cameos by the rest of the cast to Diane’s father showing up as a goblin to the word boxes showing what she’s writtne it’s just a treat. But what centers this amazing visual represtnation is Diane’s internal struggles as an encounter with a rude sales person leads her off on a tangent..and to Ivy Tran, a teen detective whose upbeat, optimstic, and in a great bit outlines who she is in jsut the right amount, and solves mysteries in a food court. It’s a genuinely good idea, one I honestly think could support it’s own series... seriously get on that Ralph-Bob. Get on that. Point is it’s good.. but Diane’s so hung up on what she SHOULD be making, she can’t see what’s right in front of her, despite guy saying the passages are good. Things come to a head when Diane makes a huge mistake and goes off her meds.. which from experince never ends well: for the entire episode she’s been under the impression she can’t write because of them.. only to be proven HORRIFYINGLY wrong. It’s a VERY necessary aseop: that your medication will always be with you and that going off it suddenly, or blaming it for writers block not only isn’t true but is DANGEROUS. Diane spirals, cries and her writing gets dark and full of self hate. It’s then Guy proves just how fucking majestic he is: he figures out what’s going on after she tells him, and helps her get to bed so she can rest, puke whatever she needs and they’ll talk about things after she takes her meds again and gets her head on straight, when she’s in a good place to do so. As someone with mental illness.. ti’s nice to see a character who not only supports someone fully, but knows how to handle it. Instead of a shitty third act breakup like many shows would do guy stands by her. He does however step SLIGHTLY over the line, if iwth good intentions and reason and send Princess Carolyn the Ivy Tran pages, because as he puts it he made an executive decision.. and when Diane is a bit annoyed by that as it does sound a tad douchey, he rightly points out she was in a really bad hole of a place, stuck in a loop doign something that even before going off her meds was clearly hurting her and going nowhere, and needed SOMETHING to snap her out of it, and did so not to hurt her or because he thought he knkew better or , like her ex husband, because he was oblvious to her needs; he did it because it was the hard but necessary thing to get her to seee she had something special and that she dosen’t have to constnatly tear herself up by diving into past traumas because of some internal obligation.

Naturally Diane dosen’t take it despite Princess Carolyn not only being impressed but PREFERRING the ivy pages, as she was genuinely unaware Diane had something so happy and charming in her. While Diane is worried about it when the two end up meeting in person, we soon find out why: If all the damage she went through wasn’t “good” damage, things she could writ eabout and use later.. what was it for? Could she of just been happy this whole time? Did she waste her life. And in a rare moment betwen the two PC helps Diane walk it back, explaning that she can do what she always wanted: write something that makes someone like her feel not alone. That she dosen’t HAVE to make her life story into something complicated, just make what makes her and other people happy. Something PC’s daughter could enjoy one day. So Diane finally accepts that maybe there’s something else for her.. and then we get a segue into the next episode with bojack having a panic attack and pasing out but that episode, good as it was didn’t make it so moving on. We also check in with Penny, the daughter of an old friend of bojacks who he nearly slept with and is stil haunted both by the decision and a drunken later visit to apologize... which isn’t helped remotely when max and page, two reporters inovlved in teh subplot that tears bojack’s life apart, start hounding her. While they have good intentions, exposing Bojack’s connection to Sarah Lynn’s death, the two’s methods still come off as creepy, following a, at this point , 21 year old girl whose been through ENOUGH home. While the two aren’t terrible people their actions.. are.. while getting hte story ismprotant is it truly worth genuinely harming this person. And penny wonders if she SHOULD air her story.. she ends up not.. but only because her mother, while lettiner he decide, poitns out it may not be worth all the pressure and possible trauma it digs up,especially since Bojack is getting what he deserved anyway. IT’s a decent subplot tha tties up a loose end but really makes our journalist characters feel like assholes for again, basically stalking and harassing a young woman who didn’t want to rehash the worst moment of her life. Otherwise top notch stuff.

6. Heart (Parts 1 and 2) (She Ra and the Princesses of Power) “Don't you get it? I love you! I always have! So please, just this once... STAY! Stay. “

Now we get to the gays winning.. and to one of the best series finale in recent memory. And given the other two titanic shows ending, one of which we’ll get to’s ending in a moment, last year, it’s a huge compliment. Heart is how you end a space opera... with big wonderful speeches, great payoff, a huge climax.. and a beautiful cathartic kiss paying off the relationship at the heart of the series that ends up saving the universe. So let’s just go ahead and crack open that pinata: The kiss.. was easily one of the best moments of animation this year and, at a time when the quarantine was starting, misery was spreading, and things looked pretty damn bad, having a major animated show, one of the biggest of the last few years, climax with an emotional moment between two women, one the series had been setting up since day 1... it was a huge step foward for gay representation in children’s animation, and warmed my big bi heart. And it’s not just good because of that: the fact it’s a giant pile of representation is wonderous, but it’s because it’s also well baked into the show. This is the conclusion of both their character arcs: Catra finally realizes Adora will not abandon her and her leaving the Horde was not choosing them over her.. it was simply doing the right thing. So instead of running or trying to escape she’s grown enough to fight for what she wants and fight for a future with Adora. Adora meanwhile finally overcomes her martyer complex, her determination, especially after Angela’s death, to make sure no one else is gone and she’s the only one that suffers and looses. To make sure there’s nothing else. It’s Catra’s confesssion that FINALLY gets it through her thick skull that she dosen’t have to be alone or bear anything alone.. she’ll always have someone with her to do that.. and even before Catra.. she’s always had friends for that. She dosen’t have to be alone. So the two embrace and it’s fucking beautiful..and gives adora the full power of the doomsday device they went to shutdown in the first place, restoring the planet.. and allowing her to destroy horde prime’s fucking soul. I just want to reiterate that because it understandably got lost in the shuffle of the gays winning, but our heroine fucking tears out the main villian’s soul.. and it is SO damn satisfying given what a truly repulsive , irredemible, asshat Prime was. So the two finally get a future together, a chance to build and to stop letting the past define them. It’s wide open. But while that alone would probably net it on this list but it’s damn good otherwise, an epic final struggle between our heroes and the horde for the fate of not just their planet but ALL of htem as Prime prepares to finally wipe everything else out in egomanical genocide. There are just.. tons of awesome moments in this one: Bow and Glimmer’s suprising but welcome love confession, Seahawk annoying mermista into fighting her chip, the people of etheria fighting back.. and the reason they do is easily the second best moment of the episode. With the chips down, not literally, and things looking bleak Bow hyjacks Prime’s egoamnacial hologram.. and broadcasts for everyone to fight, to fight back, and to END THIS. After spending most of the series as the one trying to keep his friends together, the glue of everyone.. it’s bow’s heart, courage, and voice, the one that lead his friends through some rough times and severed as reason when they needed it most wether they listned or not.. that frees the world and with Entrapta turns the tide at long last. It’s just a hell of a moment. And the only other moment equaling it is Hordak freeing himself and deciding he is his own man, he made himself tha tway for better and worst and kills prime, at least before adora finsihes the job with the badass “I am HORDAK and I DEFY your will. “ It’s just a wonderful, epic finale that pays off most of the shows major arcs, gives our heroes a MUCH deserved happy ending after spending their lives at war, and let it be said one last time, gave gay representation in children’s cartoon one hell of a win.

5. Nice While it Lasted (Bojack Horseman)

“ No, I need to tell you... thank you... and... it's going to be okay... and... I'm sorry... and... thank you... “

Back to back finales here and honestly both are REALLY close in quality, both satisfyingly paying off their series. But both take equal and opposite routes: Heart is an epic finale in scope size and impact... while Nice While it Lasted is a very stripped down character piece: there are other characters in the background but after the intro the only voiced characters in each segment are Bojack and one of the main cast, each one both showing how much said relationship has evolved since the show began, and giving Bojack time to reflect on his possible future. I say possible because one of Nice While it Lasted’s best aspects it that there’s no real concrete ending for Bojack. Ther’es still closure: after his life emploded and he nearly died, more on that in a bit, Bojack ended up in prison, offically for breaking and entering but unoffically for all the shitty things he did with him glumly accepting it. So one year later he’s out thanks to Princess Carolyn for her wedding, sober again thanks to prison and even started his own acting class at the prison he’s geninley invested in, inteding to continue it once he gets out. But otherwise.. his future’s in flux. HE’s sober for now, but he’s painfully aware that could change again, his friends while, with one excpetion, still having a place for him in their lives, have moved on, and his career is on the upswing again despite being a pariah a year ago because as I mentioned earlier and as PC brilliantly puts it

So he could become a better man, get his career back, make amends for what he did and stay sober.. or backslide and fall down into the same traps he always has. It plays into an aseop the series has always preached: There are no real endings, life just goes on. Even for the rest of the cast hteir lives aren’t over.. their just in a good place.. maybe bojack will, maybe he won’t. Tha’ts up to the indvidual viewer and I like that. While ambgious endings can be frustrating and I get while some preferred the more concrete if still somewhat ambgious ending of a view from halfway down, I feel this fits the series better: Bojack, like the end of every season is moving on to something new, but this time we don’t know what, and that’s okay. IT’s time for us to move on. Well okay not from this entry as each vingette deserves some praise: Our first has Mr. Peanutbutter pick up Bojack from prison, and even get him a new suit.. and then another one offscreen because predictably for his life BOjack got meatball all over it. He also calms our hero down when he wants to go back to jail, letting him know it’s okay and he’ll be there for him.. unless his friend Erica shows up but what are the odds... 1:1. But what’s nice about it is while Bojack still makes jabs, it’s clear he’s gone from truly hating and resenting PB for being the betterversion of him.. to truly seeing the guy as one of his best friends, his jabs having gone from hurtful and bitter to wry and warranted. I mean they were warranted a lot back then too he’s just a lot softer about them.

At the wedding Todd and Bojack finally reach some form of understanding after years of awkwardness, the two having reconclied but not being really remotely close or in each other’s lives hardly anymore after Todd’s understandable blow up at Bojack in “It’s You”. Here Todd has Bojack rush him to the beach to cary him on his shoulders.. to watch fireworks because he could tell he was overhwelmed, the two having found a rhtym again, with, like with mr peanutbutter, Bojacks jabs being a lot friendler and Todd having a respect for his own needs while actually being present for bojack instead of ignorant of how bad things were like he was at the start. He even helps BOjack see even if he DOES replase.. he can get right back on the horse, couldn’t resist that one sue me, and as the hokey pokey says turn himself around.

After, in one of the best payoffs of the series, finally trying Hondedew and finding it’s not so bad, Bojack dances with PC, admittingh e half hoped he’d have to help her go thorugh with it before the two run through the scenario, and PC expresses some honest fears with bojack helping her showing how the two hav egone from a horribly stiffing relationship.. to two close friends who are probably stuck with one another for life. Sunk costs and all that. And if bojack does want to act again she knwos some people. But for now PC finally really has everything she ever wanted:: A daughter, and a loving husband in judah.

Finally we have the most painful of the group because of course the Bojack finale wouldn’t be all sugar and would have to punch us in the gut. Bojack finds Diane again who hasn’t talked to him.. because he called her the night of his near death/sucidide and due to putting the blame on her due to being high out of his mind, made her feel like it was his fault during the 7 hours she could reach no one and thought he was dead. Diane is hurt, feeling betrayed that bojack promsied he’d be fine then possibly left her with the pain of his death on her concious forever. Thankfully she’s doing fine, as she’s now married guy and Ivy Tran is a huge success and probably a series now.. but it’s abudnantly clear her friendship with Bojack is over.. but even this bittersweet, and necessary, seperation, as Diane has moved past LA and Bojack needs to stop relying on her and stand on his own two hooves, still warms the heart as she thanks him and lets him know i’tll be okay, and endugles him in telling her one last story, a rathe rfunny one about prison movie night bfore the series ends on the melancholy and apporriate song mr blue as the two gaze out and they see each other and we see them for the last time.

4 The Wasteland (Infinity Train)

“I'm as good as dead, and if my last act is to bring you with me, sliver, I can't imagine a better way to go!” “Well, I can! “

So from a bittersweet ending to holy shit that’s depressing, we have our only entry from Infnity Train on the list. That’s not to say the series did bad this year. Season 2 was easily the series finest hour, taking the framework from season 1 and crafting a gripping story of a teenage mirror person who just wanted to live without assholes trying to kill her for what she fundementally IS, and be recognized as a person, with the help of a magical deer and a more optimstic teen grappling with his peer pressure issues. The series was still undoubtly silly with a parasite voiced by Bill Corbett, wonderfully so, and again a magical deer named Alan Dracula, long may he reign, it simply deconstructed the nature of the train and thus opened up the floodgates. By giving us a denzin who, after years of being someone’s reflection in both senses of the word, just wanted to live and how that clashed with the train and the racist assholes she met alnong the way, from the ones who wouldnt’ stop trying to kill her.. to humans who considered her as nothing more than a plaything at best and something to get rid of at worst. While Season 3 was not bad, if a bit way too strcuturally messy and trying to do too much at once, Season 2 still handled the same issues but in a much tighter frame storywise. And that’s why only one episode made it: Most of the episodes, espicially the later ones, are pieces of a large whole, with the show being heavily seralized. Which while a great approach intended for streaming, also means it was hard to find a chapter that worked that well on it’s own, steven universe future had similar issues. But I did and the wasteland is easily the darkest, harshest and most intresting episode out of the batch. The episode opens at MT’s darkest hour: The apex told the mirror police where she is, Jesse is gone, and MT is now running for her life from the sadstic assshole and his spinless partner who want her dead just for existing.. gee can’t imagine why a bunch of assholes refusing ot acknolwedge other peoples opinons, rights or even existance was a big topic last year.. or this year.

So while Mace, the main mirror cop, manages to handcuff her MT manages to throw him under the train. THe result is her trying to escape the train by wondering i’ts vast desert, forced to drag Mace along as he taunts her, bleeding out slowly from you know being bisected by a train. It’s a really moody peace as Mace mock’s mt’s dreams of escape and justify’s his own selling out, while MT pokes holes in that: he was so desperate to not nonexist.. he’s willing to kill others who just want the same. IT’s a damn hard watch but fuck if i’ts not compelling.

And the climax is what makes it. MT finds out she can’t leave the bounds of the wasteland, as it only projects so far and after escaping the ghoms ends up back on the train, with Mace, not long fo rthis world trying to kill her.. so we get a 13-14 year old GRINDING HER HORRIFYING ABUSER UNDER A TRAIN WHEEL. Just jesus.. I mean I kind of get HBO Max’s point that MAYBE this is a bit much for kids. I mean i’ve seen other really dark stuff but holy fuck a man died.. and we see his blood splatter. But it’s this horrible, harsh moment that makes the episode.. as is MT”s reaction.. not one of triumph.. but of exaustion and horror at what she’s done, before steadying herself to prove him wrong. A hard one to write about but damn it was good.

3. Enchanting Grom Fright (The Owl House) “Dear Luz, will you go to Grom with me- Amity” Now we THANKFULLY get to something lighter: the gays winning.. again. Coming out during pride month, phrasing, and only a month after the she ra finale we got this delightful episode. As I said earlier I watched this one first run: while I was super behind, I couldn’t resisit to the point I watched it before that week’s amphibia. I was that curious what was going to happen. See as i’ve given out about quite a lot.. and I mean a LOT, Disney dosen’t have the best track record with gay representation: they don’t do horrible sterotypes or anything.. but they also don’t do much of anything for the most part. Alex Hirsch has outright spoke about how much he had to fight just to get Blubbs and Durland firmly together in the finale, and how the symbols for the love god were widdled down to just male and female. And around the time this episode came Disney was coming out of a REALLY bad batch of pr stunt gay representation: They made a big deal about the first gay x in an x having gay characters in avengers endgame, star wars: Deep Hurting and onward.. but these were cameos AT BEST, with the endgame one being so minor I genuinely didn’t realize the character was talking about dating a man and only found out afterwords. Sure Ducktales had gay dads, which is awesome and always will be.. but none of the major cast was allowed to be openly gay. I mean we know webby and lena are gay but hell if disney would allow that. But miracoulsy.. shockingly and wonderfully.. Disney DID mange to finally just say fuck it and let some big gay rep in, something so obvious it can’t be ignored and that actually features the main character and one of the most major supporting characters. And what do you know, the good press and pats on the back outweighed the bad. It’s almost if giving up homophobic markets in exchange for doing the right thing.. is a GOOD thing while also being profable. Who’d a thunk. Point is via sheer perstiance, Owl House creator Dana Terrance got to not only make her lead bi, which Terrance herself is, but have her love intrest be a girl. And I find it genuinely wonderful that gay, bi, pan and what have you children can watch this and say “tha’ts me and this is okay”. But even minus Owl House saying gay rights.. the episode is just REALLY good and part of it is who it focuses on. Amity easily has the most character devleopment out of the cast going from someone who walls herself off from everyone, revels in her superiority.. to slowly opening up to heroine Luz, realizing Luz is not a bad person and that Amity herself dosen’t have to be, and right before this starting the road to patching things up with her former best friend willow. Allt hrough this said friendship had been prettty, prettyy, prettyyy gay. And that’s wonderful obviously, but part of why I watched this was while I HOPED they’d get to be couple.. I wasn’t convinced since see a fucking bove. But I was happy to realize that oh my god I was wrong, the gays won all along.

So with Amity a better person she’s naturally syampthetic when sh’es put front and center at hexside’s prom equvilent which while having a dance, gromprosals and a disco ball tha’ts also a sentient being, becuase boiling isles, it also has the queen or king forced to fight a horrifying monster that manfiests as your greatest fear. And, as we find out towards the end.. Amity’s is being rejected by Luz, having her love letter, which she fails to deliver due to running into luz.. and co (which is my faviroite gag of the episode and the adorable smiles gus and willow give in response are what make it). And . it makes sense. When you stop and think about it.. Luz is the best thing in her life. She got her to change as a person, genuinely cares about and adores her, just wants to be her friend and thinks the world of her. Given her siblings, while trying to be better, are two disaster bisexuals who just stopped a lifetime of untietonally harsh bullying and her parents are controlling asshats who made her abandon her best friend at a young age and she sees LILITH as a mother figure, just let that sink in given a few entires back.. yeah.. no wonder sh’es utterly terrified of rejection. Poor baby.

Of course WE know Luz wouldn’t. Luz may be many things, including oblvioius to thte freaking obvoius as this story line has revealed, but shes not cruel and even if she said no, which I higlhly doubt she would, she woudln’t be a dick about it. But being surrounded by cruel assholes for some time has made Amity a bit paranoid so Luz volunteers to sub in to both genuinely help her friend.. and to prove to eda she can do this. Eda is also chaperoning. and looks neat in a suit, while King and Gus get a wonderful b plot of mcing the dance with the egotisticl king having issues with stage fright. I will get more into that when I review the episode proper, come back in a month for that. But yeah while Luz does well when the time comes, and while sadly not wearing her otter suit does wear a wonderful tuxedo with a tutu.. she has her own repressed issues to adress as Grom takes the form of her mother, as Luz has been nursing guilt over not telling her the truth about what’s going on. Luz runs, and Amity ends up facing her fear to save her crush and the two get a wonderfully romantic, and desturctive dance together as they face hteir fear, untie as one and kill that motherfucker... well okay i’m not sure grom can die but it’s gone for now. The dance sequence.. is easily one of the best scene’s all year, beauituflly animated and painstakingly planned out, with wonderful music.. it’s just awesome and what takes the episode ove rthe top, with the two perfeclty in synch as they take grom out in less than a minute. Also king become prom king and queen, he is best of both as Luz’s own personal issues put a damper on things. Also someone’s been writing her mom.

Overall just a perfect episoe and a perfectly gay episode of one of the best shows going right now. Speaking of a perfect episode of one of the best shows going right now, tha’ts also on disney.

2. Escape From the Impossibin! (Ducktales) ”We have to keep them safe” “But not like this!” So from some emotinal torment mixed with some lovely shipping, we get a whole buttload of emotional anguish but with a robotic scrooge and the time loop room and the time loop room and the time loop room, and time l...

As I said in part 1, Season 3 is easily Ducktales best so far, having far better pacing, character ballance and bolder and more intresting stories than ever before. While the first two seasons are still excellent, this one has taken everything great and honed it and no episode shows off just how great this season is than this one. This one takes place in the fallout of “Let’s Get Dangerous!”, with the family dealing with finding out FOWL”s not only still alive, but is run by Bradford, head of scrooge’s board of directors former shush agent as we’d find out later, and asshole, who knows all their secrets. And given Scrooge is mildly paranoid on a good day and Beakly is extremley paranoid on her best day, it’s done a number on both as they’ve split the family minus launchpad, who just had a whole episode so fair enough, up: Scrooge has taken Della and Louie, wiht their see all the angels schtick, to test out his new security, while Beakly and Donald are securing the house while Beakly has webby throughly test the boys. Neither side goes well. The bin ends up locking our heroes out due to Scrooge’s password being changed, and forcing them to work past it. Louie rises to the challenge, as does della.. but as they beat a robot versoin of scrooge, because of course the final test would be a robot version of scrooge, Scrooge is instead of triumphant at not being dead, incredibly depressed and furious. Because when told he’s scrooge mcduck he tellingly replies “AND WHAT IF THAT’S NTO ENOUGH’. For once.. Scrooge is SCARED, up against someone who knows his every move and is one step ahead, iti’s how it’s always been, no matter what he’ll do, he’ll always loose and Bradford will always win. I REALLY need to watch spies are forever, point is he’s scared and Bradford PROVING the point by revealing he was behind it and taking over the robot dosen’t help. Our heroes win though in a damn impressive action sequence, but as it turns out.. it was just a distraction.. but we’llg et back to that. The other plot though is whyt his is so high. While the first plot is a fun romp with deep eomtional consequences.. the second plot is decidly far darker.. it still has some good bits as webby terorizes the boys and easily one of the best in the season when she horrifying imitates dewey, but its’ only when she does finally attack she realizes she’s taken it way toof ar. She’s terrorized her brothers, caused huey to break his leg and then turn her away when she tries to help.. all she’s done is turn them AGAINST each other and they can’t win this way. Beakly strongly disagrees and clealry lost in her own paranoia and fear, prepares to attack huey.. and thus Webby steps in... leading to one fo the most heartbreaking and tense fights in the series as grandmother and grandaughter fight one on one but both are outmatched.. but Huey and Dewey, despite everything, refuse not to help their sister and help pull webby up, with Webby panickidly realizing something’s VERY wrong and her granny usually isn’t like this when sparring... and is also chasing them. This leads to the roof, in a rainstorm no less, and Webby relcutnatnly ready to fight even though she clearly knows she both can’t win.. and dosen’t want to anymore. Despite her wilingless to scrap, fight and train.. Webby dosen’t WANT to hurt her granny she just wants to help her. Thankfully, the boys attempt to stop this, while failing horribly, catches donald’s attention as he catches them, ntocies what’s going on and furiously refuses to let this go on. While Beakly tries to ignore it and fight..s he instead slips and despite everything, the rest of the group rescue her, with Webby impressing on her grandmother that they aren’t fowl. They wont’ win acting like them and tearing each other apart.. they need to be the family they are. But if all that wasn’t enough turns out.. yeah, Bradford’s thing was a distraction and with the rest of the group distracted with Beakly, that meant his plan went off without a hitch: all the missing mysteries have been taken by FOWL, in a masterstorke that ties both plots together and brings what seemed like isolated adventures on their own in a tagnetally related plot into the fore. Everything so far has built up to this.. and despite the loss.. the family, having been through a dark night of the soul, is ready to fight back. They want the rest of the mysteries? Their going to have to fight clan mcduck in their elment. And it’s been glorious so far. A tense, well paced, hard hitting episode, this one’s a winner. and almost got #1.. ALMOST. But as much as I tried to not go with the obvious chocie, the one with tons of press and praise and that’s graced tons of best of lists... I had to go with what was honestly the best. So...

1. The View from Halfway Down (BoJack Horseman) “Oh BoJack, there is no other side. This is it. “ This episode was my main reason for catching up with the series and finishing it off once and for all. Awash with praise and hype I was curious about this one.. and my curiosity paid off. This is easily one of if not hte best episodes Bojack put out in it’s storied run: it’s creative, impossible to look away from and devistating: in short it’s the show in a nutshell.. and it’s a hell of a view.

Previously as mentioned before Bojack’s life blew up and he lost just about everything, from his friends, though as the finale bared out only one of them stayed away for good and for good reason, his only family in hollyhock, his house, even horsin around. He had nothing left.. so high on drugs and in his old house he passed out at the end of last episode.. and we wake up here with a recurring dream as Bojack has a dinner party at his mother’s house, another wonderful performance from Wendy Mallick. Everyone there is someone Bojack knew who died: his former best friend he betrayed Herb, Sarah Lynn his former child co start turned washed up 30 something he let die, Courdory, a co star who died trying to get off david caradine style, Crackerjacke, the uncle he never knew who die din the war and his parents, distant mother Beatrice as mentioned and his father, who is in the body of his hero secretariat who comited suiccide in this unvierse due to getting banned from racing, as that’s the kind of weird shit dreams do. Also Zack Braff, who has no real conncetion to bojack but still died during that time Mr Peanutbutters house sunk into the earth and his ex wife Jesscia bIel formed a death cult. The group play a game of best and worst, lay into each ohter and have some really intresting conversations with Bojack confident of when it’ll end: before the show their always mentioing. But this time, it’s diffrent.. Bojack is there for it so we get a trippy and horrifyimng stage show as Bojack watches the various people one by one vo into a black door, allt he while bojack coughts up sludge and is persued by it, unaware where he was before this. Sarah Lynn gives one last song, a reprise of a song from previous in the series, Courdroy does a ribbon dance and zack braff gets on roller skates. And bojack has a frank conversation with his dad, with his dad/secretariat revealing he DID care but was just so filled with loathing he coudlnt’ admit it to his son and thus was an abusive ass.. and then reveals to bojack he’s not waking up and bojack horryfigngly see shimself, drowning ina pool. And while he frantically, heartbreakingly tries to flee... he can’t. There’s no exit for him. As herb tells him, this isn’t the afterlife, this is his brain making sense of his last moments, and ther’es no way of knowing if he’ll get rescued, no way to do anything but watch.. watch as his father secretairat shows suicide in all it’s horror by letting it know he wouldn’t of done it if he knew “the view fro halfway down”, a horrifingly haunting poem that sells just how bad it was. As beatrice and crackerjack also go we’re down to herb who introduces bojack... before going in himself, claming there is no other side. Bojack tries not to go genle and runs, and in a horrfying sequence is surronded by the ooze as he tries his damndest to escape.. but in the end he can’t. As herb said.. he can’t do anything about this. So speaking to his min’ds version of diane he accepts he probbaly won’t be coming back and we hear a monitor as we fade out. While we know it’s not the end now... there’s no way of telling then.

The View from Halfway Down is a haunting, beatuflly animated, masterwork, taking 6 seasons worth of communinity and regret and shoving it in bojack’s face in an intresting way, while bringing back characters we thought we’d never see again for one last go round. It was patcually nice to hear LIn Manuel Miranda and Wendy Mallick again,, and Kristan Schaal is always great. The show ALWAYS had a horrifying habit of having it’s penutlimate episode be an utter gutpunch that broke you, with the finale picking up the peices and offering some hope.. and this was no exception. They literally saved the best for last, and it was worth the wait. The view from halfway down may be gahstly,.. but the view of this episode is hauntingly beautiful.

So that was the list, and it was.. a lot taking 2-3 days to finish all together over both parts. But it was worth it and hopefully we can get back to some regular stuff later today. For now, thank you for reading, and hopefully i’ll see you somewhere in the sunset.

#steven universe future #steven unvierse #the owl house #lumity #catradora #She Ra and the Princesses of Power #bojack horseman #close enough #infnity train #2020 #best of the year #animation #disney #cartoon network #hbo max #netflix #disney channel #lbgtq

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unsympathetic-core-sides · 4 years

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14. “You’re safe here, I keep you safe! What else could you want?” (I hope you are doing better)

Yeah, I am doing better now, thanks! This is 1460 words, and Im actually kinda proud of it! Here you go, hope you enjoy it!

Warnings: Unsympathetic Roman, victim Patton, possessiveness, ghosting, implied abuse, abuse, implied murder, kidnapping, drugging (?). Just ask if you want anything else tagged!

Patton was your regular secondary school student. He got good enough grades, he had a big group of friends, he was in the art club, he helped out at the community theatre on the weekends, and he did volleyball three times a week. Perfectly regular life. Sure he got sad sometimes, and sometimes he didn’t want to get up in the mornings, but his family was always there to help him in those moments, so it wasn’t a big deal.

During those weekends he helped out at the theatre, he met tons of new people. One of those people was a very talented boy called Roman Regal. Roman was always the lead and was pretty popular, everyone at least knew OF him. Recently there had been some disgusting rumors about his past relationships, but Patton was sure it was just rumors! After all Roman seemed so nice!

All of Patton’s friends said he was naive to believe that Roman was truly just misunderstood, and not the monster that people have claimed he is. But, if anything serious happened, Roman would have been punished. Right?

So when Roman started trying to get closer to Patton, Patton didn’t think it was weird and surprisingly, they hit it off right away! Roman was really charming and made Patton feel so special, it didn’t take much for Roman to convince Patton to give him his phone number. Over the course of as couple weeks, they started texting more and more, until eventually they were texting every day. Then they were calling every day. Then they were hanging out constantly.

It wasn’t weird! Patton was simply hanging out with his crush. Patton’s friends were becoming more and more convinced that Roman was a good guy and that those rumors were false.

He was nice and kind, he bought Patton gifts and always tried to include people. He seemed perfect, and it didn’t feel fake. So everyone in that group started trusting him more and more, until he was just part of the group, and it felt like he has been there since forever ago.

And then Roman asked him out.

And then Patton said yes.

All was well for a while. Roman and Patton’s friends were getting along well. Everyone was happy.

At least, until the incident.

They were hanging out at Patton’s. They were home alone. Roman was angry that day. Patton was not the target of his anger, he just got caught in the crossfire.

“How dare he talk to me like that?! I’m the best actor he has! I don’t deserve to be treated like garbage, like trash! I am the best thing that has happened to that theatre!” He went off on one of his usual rants about how he was being mistreated while pacing the room. Patton never saw anybody being rude to Roman, but he trusted him that something must be happening.

“Sweetheart, are you sure you’re not, well, um, a little, overexaggerating?” Patton asked cautiously during a break in the rant.

He regretted it instantly when he saw Roman’s shocked expression. Roman’s dark green eyes widened and his jaw dropped. Roman scoffed and his fists curled.

“What? Do you not believe? Do you not trust me?” Roman questioned him, looking him up and down as if he couldn’t believe his ears.

Patton lowered his head and started playing with the sleeve of his baby blue sweater. “No, I just never saw anybody acting, like…that… and I’m just wondering. It’s not that I trust you…”

“Fine. I believe you.” Those words felt in genuine and mocking. Roman glanced down at his watch and shook his head. “Whatever. I need to go anyway, I’ve got…homework to do.” It felt like that was a lie but Patton didn’t want to point it out.

“Oh. Are you sure? You could do it here?” Patton stood up, watching Roman pack up his school bag and get ready to leave.

Roman rolled his eyes “No. I’ll be good. See ya.” He was already closing the door by the time Patton opened his mouth to say bye.

And so Patton was left standing alone in his house at 5:30 on a Thursday with nothing to do.

Over the course of the next few days, Patton tried to text and call Roman constantly, but he never replied, and Patton was pretty sure he was avoiding him as well. He wasn’t really sure why, he hadn’t done anything wrong. Patton was really starting to worry. He had asked Logan and Virgil, if either of them had talked to him, but neither of them had.

By Wednesday, Patton was staring to feel the worry start affecting him more, he couldn’t sleep and had eye bags he had to cover with makeup every morning, he started biting his nails again after not biting them for 2 years, and he had started paying less attention in class. Was Roman even at school? He didn’t share any classes with him, so he didn’t know if he was in. On the weekend Roman wasn’t at the theatre either. Roman never missed rehearsals, not even when he was sick.

Logan and Virgil tried to assure him that he was probably just sick, and at home resting.

Patton was still worried however and that day, after school, he went to Roman’s house to see if he was alright.

He stood in front of the door, he didn’t hear anything inside, and he was worried that maybe he was just overreacting, being possessive or something. Roman had mentioned a time or two that he could be a bit controlling, maybe he was right. But then again, better safe than sorry, right?

He knocked on the door.

The door opened.

And there he was. Roman Regal, looking perfectly normal. Not sick. Not away somewhere.

“Patton! Darling, how are you? What are you doing here, my angel?” He said, smiling brightly at him, as if he was the only good thing in the world.

“I was worried about you Ro! You didn’t answer my calls or anything for nearly a week! I was scared that something had happened!” Patton jumped at him, hugging him with all his might. Roman laughed at Pat’s antics.

“Aww. Darling, don’t worry about me, I just needed some time. Now come on in! Let’s hang out, huh?” Roman pulled Patton in and closed the door, before wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

Patton smiled. Of course there was nothing to be worried about. Roman was perfectly safe and nothing was amiss. He was just being paranoid. They walked into the living room and sat down, Roman started talking about what they should, and Patton finally could clearly focus on Roman’s face, which unlike the usual clean perfection, had spots of dirt on it. Which shouldn’t be suspicious but there was something uncanny about it.

Now that Patton was paying attention, there was something uncanny about all of this. Like, where were Roman’s parents and his brother, they should be home, but it was silent. Then he noticed the open back door, and the dirty shovel propping it open.

It seemed that Roman had noticed Patton’s distress because he paused for a moment. “Are you okay, my angel? Something wrong?” He put his hand on Patton’s face, stroking it lightly.

“No. Its just that, well, where is your family, Ro?” Patton looked into Roman’s eyes and felt himself become even more uncomfortable.

“Nowhere you would need to worry about. You’re safe here, I’ll keep you safe. What else could you want, sweetie?” His hand ventured higher, and he started stroking Patton’s dark brown curls. Roman’s breath seemed to become heavier. “As long as you’re a good boy, nothing will harm you okay?” Roman tugged on his hair, pulling Patton closer, “Okay?” It was more forceful than before.

“What? Roman, that hurt and you’re creeping me out. Can you please let me go?” Patton tried to pull himself out of Roman’s grip, but it held strong.

“No. Say that you’ll be a good little boy. Now.” Roman’s smile never left his face, but something in his eyes flickered and broke, like an illusion finally melting away and revealing a monster’s true form. He tugged harder.

Tears built up in Patton’s eyes. “Okay! Okay, Ill, um, I’ll be a good boy…” Patton gulped as he said, feeling gross about saying it.

Suddenly Roman tugged sharply and threw Patton on the floor, standing up above him, and then pulling something out of his pocket. Patton wasn’t able to catch a good luck before it was shoved in his neck, and he slowly faded away into a deep sleep.

When Patton woke up, he wasn’t the same person anymore, and he would never be again.

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astrogone · 4 years

Text

ANXIOUS MUNDAY MEME

@seekesotsibteadmist: What is something you want people to know right away about yourself?

PLEASE REMEMBER I AM EXTREMELY SLOW AT EVERYTHING!!!! I swear, there is a no apologizing for quick or late replies oocly and icly policy in this household because if you message me with an apology over that, you may get my response after a few days, if not a week, and I get so embarrassed like shdjsjd please, don’t be sorry at all. I get every reason behind any pace of the responses, so do not ever feel bad or anything replying to me too late or too quickly. Hell, you can take a whole damn MONTH to reply to me oocly or icly and I’ll still act like I would only be waiting for a day and be like “Ah! My friend! I love you”... But yeah, while I am easily distracted and exhausted to do this stuff, I usually have to reply back to ten to fifteen people oocly, and I will always have many people to reach out to when we haven’t interacted yet ( which if you haven’t interact to me yet, please, this is invitation that you can slap yourself in my IMs Now ), and my social energy / motivation to interact with people? It’s erratic as Hell. Also, I usually take way too much time replying to a post / message when it shouldn’t be the case. Like? For me to reply to a one paragraph in the thread will take me at least an hour to two. If you straight just say hi to me and ask how am I doing, it’ll take me at least five minutes to ten to just answer your very simple question.

I have an intellectual disability that gives me difficulties reading the given information, understanding them, and responding to them at a pace the average amount of people can do, but I can’t. The longest time you can get from me oocly is usually six days. Icly though? Boy, am I a lost cause with that. It can be anytime as I can reply to our thread for a month later, if not longer, I will have to let that be known, lmfao... But you’re more than welcome to give me a nudge for anything anytime. It may not get a quicker response from me anyway, knowing me, but just know that my silence towards you while I’m being noisy on dash or to others or such has nothing to do with you, ever. At least with oocly, I try to prioritize replying to people who I haven’t replied to the longest over those that I have done so recently, but I’m an absolute slow and low mess at everything, so! As that’s something I can never change, unfortunately, I can only wish that everyone interacting with me would be grateful for what we have already.

@sinisteraugurey: How much anxious internal screaming goes on with you on a regular basis?

It’s a 24/7 thing, man. I would just try to distract myself with whatever is in my way to block them, but, yeah, it just really be like that with me. Last night while I was trying to sleep, I kept staring at my window in concern because it had these shadows constantly moving behind the curtains, and there’s that small part of me that KNEW it’s just the tree branches that got caught in the lights of the streetlights, but, my mind kept telling me “they’re coming” and I was just constantly like,, “who tho,,, omg,,,,” but,, think about it,,,, I live in the sixth floor of a building, so how the Hell could the shadows reach up there?¿...

@vsentis & @arsonbeast: What’s a tip you would give to people trying to get to know you?

Ask me questions from something simple like what’s my favourite colour to something over the top like how often do I get existential crisis lmfao even if it’s completely out of the blue or we don't know each other well yet, I wouldn’t ever mind answering them at all. As well if / whenever you are comfortable, talk about yourself as it will usually prompt me to do the same in return. I often don’t throw facts about myself to others because I think it would have others feel like they would be suddenly placed in a position of having to bring up information about themselves to me and I know not many people are comfortable to talk about themselves and / or their lives when they’re on this Hellsite to write and develop, which is totally understandable and I’m more than okay to be interacted with for just writing / plotting.

On a different note, I am planning to create a Carrd about my interests ( like what shows, music artists, etcetera I’m familiar with ) and slap it on my pinned post so it can give others a chance to get to know me more and bring them up to me to break down any tension from their end, so you can randomly pop into my DMs like “biTCH yOU WATCH B.UZZEED U.NSOLVED!?¡¿” and I’d be like “FUCK YE A H, I DO” and create chaos from there sndnsmd

@vsentis: Is communication important to you?

Beyond important. I personally think communication is THE most important aspect in not just roleplaying, but in general. It’s what builds a strong relationship with the parties. The more they will interact with each other with a lot of patience and understanding, the higher chance that trust and comfort can be built stronger and tighter within a connection. Now, what do I have to say with me? I love talking to people, even when I’m a slow motherfucker at it and I get extremely frustrated and sad at the fact. I love when people talk to me and I can read about their days, personal projects, characters, so forth. I want people to feel that they can trust me and be comfortable coming to me for anything from a random chat to ranting / venting. Man, just straight up slap my DMs with a random photo of a forest and I’ll just not shut up about the time I nearly got lost in the forest.

Now, it does take time for me to reach out to people first, at least usually not because of IC related like plotting calls. For me to come to you randomly and talk about anything not roleplaying related? Again, I can’t be sure if people are comfortable with talking about themselves and their lives, but the more they come to me first for random ooc conversations, the more comfortable I will be to reach out to them first for so frequently. Another thing I do want to mention that if I do or say anything wrong or it’s making you uncomfortable, please? Reach out to me? I mean, I get that people aren’t obliged to teach others and whatnot, so do what you gotta do it the block and follow buttons to avoid wasting more energy and time, but it would truly help a lot with me and anyone else who I am / will interact with in the future. Just be honest with me and share your thoughts to me— I will listen and take them in mind. I absolutely hate to make people uncomfortable without knowing and I would be extremely appreciative if I was told why so I can be more considerate in the future.

@goldenornstein: Do random asks out of the blue upset you at all?

Not at all! In fact, I encourage sending me random asks! It might take a bit for me to reply like anything else, but I LOVE random asks! Makes me go “!!!” whenever I see a number on that mail symbol thingy. So, send me random memes, random thoughts, straight up just slap the word, P.ikachu, in the ask and send it to me and I’ll be like, “me fucking too, pal” jsjdkdk

@seekesotsibteadmist: What are some things you worry about in terms of new people?

I know I apologize for rambling or taking a long time to reply, but in the end, people being impatient or easily annoyed by me or whatever are my least worries. What I should be more concerned about but am somehow not is if this person actually holds good intentions with a good mindset. Even though I had my generosity taken advantage of way too many times by way too many people who I thought were really good friends in real life and online, I still? Somehow don’t ever think about the possibility that this person is actually very shitty when I interact with them as much as I should, considering how absolutely chaotic this site is. Being cautious is highly draining for me personally as I literally just want to vibe, so…

Just know that I take anyone in who my mutuals haven’t mentioned on their rules page ( yet if I do happen to interact with your abusers or people you’re not uncomfortable with because they’re doing / saying predatory / harmful things? Lemme know and I’ll instantly get out of their hair— you don't even need to give me an explanation, just don’t hesitate to say their URL and I’ll do my shit ), but I will instantly kick them off of my household the moment I see or learn anything from them that is predatory or harmful to people. If you do / say something that I don’t like, like misgender my muses or keep godmodding my muses or whatever, I’ll let you know how I feel, but if you’re gonna be stalking people, being disrespectful / abusive to anyone based on their genders, sexualities, ethnicities, disabilities, etcetera, write / make headcanons based those disgusting things we all know what, and so forth? I will hardblock and never look back, and that’s that.

#long post cw #( because I dread that the read mores isn’t working but )#//#( really took me close to three hours to reply to all of these shdjsjd )#( thank you guys so much for sending these though! )#( this actually makes me feel better / less anxious )#( knowing that people will see what’s up with me especially with how TERRIBLE I am at replying so )#( bless y’all ;; )#( now I want to take a nap I am so hshdhJSJS @ myself )#࿐ ˚ . ‧✧̣̇‧⎛ ooc ⎠ : ❝ take me far from here . ❞

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sharkmobster · 5 years

Note

spider verse coffee shop au??

Anon im sorry i wanted to draw the coffeeshop au but ive been so tired lately so imma just overshare about what goes down bc this au is just (thick tombstone voice) : “everybody’s traumatized bitch lets get you a latte”

• this au is incredibly villain centric bc uhhhhh all i do is think about villains

• its also very aaron davis centric bc time to project my anxiety onto a grown ass man babey!!

• anyway this takes place in a normal world where there’s no superheros or avengers or what have you, everyone’s super average

• like i said this is more or less aaron centric and focuses on him readjusting to society and making connections with other people, and just healing in general. Aaron’s whole deal is that he was wrongfully arrested for defending himself against an off duty cop who was harassing him and ended up with a 10 year sentence (but was let off a year earlier for good behaviour). He’s got a lot of guilt bc of this if only for the fact that he feels like he let down his brother and Miles (who was a small lad at the time).

• Fun Fact! Jefferson was the one that picked up Aaron at the jail when he served out his sentence! The ride back to brooklyn was awkward! but also jefferson loves his brother and even tho they’ve had their falling outs he never once stopped believing that his brother was innocent. Jefferson also made sure to pull some strings and ended up getting an apartment set up for Aaron (even though jefferson and rio were 100% down to open their home to him for as long as it took him to get back onto his feet but of course aaron denied them bc he didnt want to be a burden) Aaron’s grateful but he tends to avoid his own family…a lot….

• it’s ridiculously hard to find a job bc nobody wants to hire an ex convict no matter the circumstances and Aaron’s legitimately about to lose hope when he spots an expensive looking shop nestled in between an old arcade and a knick knack shop

• ‘Vanessa’s Cafe’ is neatly printed above the door in fancy gold lettering. it’s obvious that the owner has serious cash bc the shop looks too damn good and too well maintained to be a regular mom and pop shop. there’s a help wanted sign hastily scribbled on a piece of notebook paper in the middle of the window which is odd since it off sets the professional vibe of the place. But hey it’s worth a shot so Aaron walks in ready to be denied another job only to find the weirdest looking group of people he’s ever seen.

• The first guy that catches his attention is the very large albino man who looks way too stressed out and manic to be working in a coffeeshop, but the job must pay well because he’s very well dressed.

• “Liv, for fuck’s sake! Clean your goddamn station!” he’s whisper shouting? Is that even a thing? oh look at that he’s got a full set of razor sharp teeth. huh. that’s a hell of an aesthetic he’s going for.

• The lady in question isn’t even giving him the time of day, just enthralled by her phone with a smile that looks too peaceful given what’s happening around her. She’s got wild hair tied up messily in a knitted bandana, weird glasses (custom made??) and when she glances up at aaron, her eyes widen in interest like he’s some anomaly to be cracked open. aaron looks anywhere that isnt the wild eyed lady at the counter.

• Theres another big guy that’s hanging around the back, heavily tattooed and lifting stacks of heavy boxes. Aaron takes notice of his prosthetic hand and the tattoo guy takes notice of Aaron.

• “Lonnie. Customer.” The Tattoo guy seems nonplussed about Aaron and walks into the back. aaron assumes that he’s offended him by staring at his prosthetic for longer than necessary which yeah….yeah he’s probably not happy about the staring.

• lonnie’s got a bad case of resting bitch face so he’s glaring at aaron without actually glaring and he’s just rough around ALL the edges so his tones got that nice bite to it as he shouts from across the counter (which is not something you do to a customer but it’s lonnie…..) "Hey! Ya looking for a job, skinny jeans?!“

• Aaron blanches at the idea of working with these people but he is absolutely desperate for a job at this point.

•"Yeah. I just got out of-”

•"Great, you’re hired! We’re speed running this whole introduction thing, string bean.“

•and that’s all i got other than like small details like:

•Peter B Parker owns a ”“’'cafe”“” across from Vanessa’s and its literally just a burger joint that h a p p e n s to sell coffee and Parker will fight you if you call his place a deli ahdhdj

•Liv and May are dating (big shock) and peter b has to constantly deal with seeing his competition over at his place all the time and it’s yikes

• Tombstone and Noir will 100% throw hands on contact. They don’t hate each other tho??? Its weird they just like to fight. gives them a chance to work on their banter i guess. Noir works the coffee machine at Peter’s “'cafe”’ so i guess he’s the “”barista”” of the joint but he drinks the coffee more than the customers do

• Miles and the rest of the spider kids “”“”“"intern”“”“” at the cafe which basically translates to free labor

• spider ham works there but he isnt a pig he’s just john mulaney. i know its weird. nobody actually sees him tho so he’s a complete mystery as to what he looks like so he could be john mulaney you never know. the only person who’s seen him is noir and that’s only bc they’re a thing???

•oh speaking of everyone being gay: everyone’s gay

• Lonnie and Gargan (tombstone and scorpion) are 100% dating but everyone legitimately thinks that the both of them are straight old men despite the fact that they live together, go to work together, hang out afterwards together, and they’re just always together

• lonnie’s daughter (janice) visits every other week (def the product of a divorce he went through years ago) she’s alright with gargan but she’s very distant towards her dad and def has that teen angst phase that she’s going through

• (lonnie can and will talk to you for hours about how much he loves and supports his daughter despite the fact that their relationship is very estranged)

• you can find janice hanging out with the cute blond punk girl at that weird burger/coffee place across the street

• oh gargan’s big and strong despite the fact that he’s missing three limbs, liv works in robotics on the side and constantly tweaks and repairs his prosthetics when they start acting up which leads to them having this weird friendship where they both borrow each other when they need something and dont really expect anything in return (like gargan’s good for getting her supplies and doing heavy lifting when she needs it and liv’s always down to run check ups on gargan)

• oh yeah liv used to be a scientist but immediately lost her license and phd when she started going above some board members heads to buy less than legal things through super illegal sources

.• that’s another thing, kingpin tends to just hire ex cons and criminals to work in his cafe just bc he believes that a person willing to work hard to better themselves deserves a chance to re enter society again.

• like they’ve all done bad things but still ended up with a job at the cafe. aaron fought a cop, liv did some shady deals for an illegal experiment, gargan used to run a drug ring years ago due to personal reasons but once he was free from jail he never dealt with the stuff again, and lonnie killed a dude (allegedly. he never went to jail bc they couldn’t prove anything but hey word spread around quick and everyone knew not to go anywhere near this guy)

• kingpin is in this au btw he’s just……a very depressed man who’s still grieving over his wife and son dying in a car accident

.• he rarely shows up to run the cafe bc its too much for him being in the place that his wife loved and built up from the ground. he used to be the manager after she died but couldn’t handle it and mostly left lonnie to take care of it

• which holy fuck lonnie is trying his best to keep this cafe alive and well and there’s only two other people working there so like its enough to have him scrambling all over the place trying to find more help (thanks aaron)

•miles doesn’t know aaron’s working at the cafe across the street and aaron def wants it that way bc even tho he’s out of jail he hasn’t actually……visited miles yet….. it’s the shame that’s keeping aaron from reaching out to him which is….sad bc miles doesn’t care what happened he just wants his uncle back.

• oh oh one more thing RIPeter used to run the deli across the street but had to leave brooklyn to go volunteer at homeless shelters across the states indefinitely so theres no telling when he’ll be back, so he left the cafe under the guidance of pb parker (peter b parker voice: my cafe now)

•and uhhh thats all i got, like i said this au is just found family trope + the healing we all want + bad people getting redemption which is all the tropes that i love all compacted together in the most cliche au you can imagine!

#itsv #aaron davis #the prowler #liv octavius #doctor octopus #lonnie lincoln #mac gargan #hi i work at a starbucks and it's hell so this is how i cope babey!!#spider verse #spiderman #the life and times of a robot prince

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shellheadtmark2 · 5 years

Text

actually, because i’ve gotten a lot of new mcu mutuals lately, and i need to redo my 616 tony stark care manual bc i wanna tweak it and make some aesthetic changes (because i’m just Like That), things you should probably know because i am actually 616/marvel prime/main continuity-based. i swear i’ll be serious this time. maybe.

the original flavor tony is not going to be the same tony you’re used to from the mcu - mcu tony is actually more marvel ultimates inspired, which is a whole kettle of fish unto itself and that i have a verse for, but we’ll get to that at a later date. instead, meet main continuity tony.

+ he started his path to iron man in a very similar way to mcu tony, in that he was injured by his own weapons (depending on where you pull from the sliding timescale, it’s everything from landmines to micromunitions) that damaged his heart and left him slowly dying. we all know this story, right? he built the first iron man to escape and the rest is history.

+ the difference is, main continuity was dependent upon the armor’s chestplate for a few years. the arc reactor ain’t really a thing in 616, instead we have the rt node. similar in function, only tony could use it to do unibeams without the suit. anyway, when tony came back, he took on iron man as an alternate identity, and told the world iron man was his bodyguard. no one knew for a few years there that tony stark - handsome, generous, kind-hearted benefactor of the avengers who opened his home to them - and the metal-clad adventurer known as iron man was the same person. it took a mishap with molecule man and a tiny red silk thong (no, i’m not kidding) for that little secret to come to light.

+ he was in his very early twenties when he became iron man - much younger than his mcu counterpart, and he’s very, very good at being iron man.

+ his relationship to most of the avengers - and heroes in general - is very different. his best friend in the entire world is steve rogers - he’s had a captain america memorabilia collection since before the avengers pulled steve out of the ice (which is another thing - the avengers thawed steve, and tony has always idolized him - there’s no resentment there - and steve was not a founding member, he came in after the avengers had already formed). his other best friend is rhodey, who was his employee-turned-military liason for stark unlimted (formerly known by many other names). his other other best friend is pepper potts - they’ve never actually been romantically involved. his other other other best friend was happy hogan, who died a few years back during the nightmare of civil war - which was much more us-based and much more horrific in tony’s universe. he’s carol danvers’ aa sponsor. he’s good friends with reed richards. he’s been friends with stephen strange for years. he and bucky barnes are fairly close and tony’s the one that got rid of bucky’s trigger words. he and natasha have dated...ish, and are close. he was never peter parker’s mentor, as his peter is a full grown adult, but peter did intern for him for a while. and was on an avengers team with him before civil war. he, steve, and thor are still the big three, but they have a friendship that’s been forged in the fires of really bad mistakes and they’ve come out the other side still close. he knows the guardians of the galaxy because he was a guardian for a while during his big vacation in space. he’s dated more avengers and x-men than you can shake a stick at. and jarvis for him is edwin jarvis, his living, breathing, now semi-retired butler who served the avengers for many years and is part of the avengers family.

+ he was director of shield for a short time after civil war and steve rogers’ assassination. he hated the job and he hated steve being dead and he hated what he forced himself to do so bad he literally erased that entire year out of his head. and to get rid of the database full of superhero secret identities stored in his brain but you can’t tell me he didn’t have a more recent backup without it.

+ his first ai was named homer. jarvis actually was pepper’s ai, for her rescue suit, and was never tony’s. friday is and has been his main ai for years, and she has a hologram form. she mostly runs the day to day stuff that doesn’t require tony to physically be there for the company. which, also, tony is still ceo, he hasn’t handed that over to anyone, and pulls double fulltime duty as both a working stiff and an avenger. his eyebags are designer.

+ he was secretary of defense for a year - he got himself elected when he found out someone in military research was reverse engineering and stealing things from the iron man.

+ he’s in his early 40s and looks younger: being an extremis enhancile for a while and then undergoing a full-body reboot does wonders for the skin, apparently.

+ he’s canonically bisexual.

+ is known for using himself as a lab rat for incorporating experimental technology into his biology. ask me about the suit he carried in his bones!

+ he’s 6′1 with blue eyes. that’s, uh. kind of important to know. he’s tall. he’s lanky. and if you’re not a metahuman he might just can kick your ass, because captain america trained him in hand to hand combat (of which he’s very proud of).

+ the ten rings are literally ten alien rings used by his main archvillain, the mandarin. they hurt. a lot. and he hates when he gets an up close and personal view of them smashing into his face.

+ he’s not as quippy as his mcu counterpart, and instead is more prone to bad puns and rambling awkwardly. canonically he has depression, anxiety, and ptsd, and struggles with them regularly. he’s also a recovering alcoholic.

+ take mcu tony’s tech. then put it on steroids. then make it the craziest scifi thing you can imagine. and you’ve got the barest hint of what this tony’s tech is like. seriously. ask me about the suit he literally carried inside of himself. or the time he could control machines with his brain. 616 is wild.

+ he’s been homeless. and i don’t mean rich people homeless. i mean living on the street, nearly froze to death riding out a blizzard in a doorway and almost lost fingers and toes to frostbite homeless. tony’s a Rich Boy but one who’s had a taste of how the other half lives on more than one occasion. he’s also worked a regular nine to five like everyone else and lived in what was...honestly...a really shitty apartment.

+ he’s adopted, and he has a(n adopted) brother named arno. his bio mom’s a former rockstar, and his bio dad a hydra double agent. you literally can’t make this shit up.

+ he’s incredibly self destructive and self sacrificing. if things look hopeless he’ll be the first to offer himself for the pyre. because he has absolutely horrid self esteem.

+ he’s a liar. he’s sneaky. he tends to make decisions for other people without consulting their feelings on the matter - partly because of a tony knows best attitude, but also because there are people in the world he’d do anything, and i mean anything, to keep safe, even if they hate him in the end. it’s kind of awe inspiring and terrifying if you manage to inspire that level of devotion in tony, because really. anything.

+ he has a playboy reputation, but he’s anything but. you either get casual sex out of him? or you’re married now, sorry, that’s just how it is. he settles and nests with a vengeance. he’s one of those people that would love to be happy and safe and loved and married and all that happy shit but doesn’t feel like he’s worthy of it. his issues with this have issues, to be honest.

+ if you call him in the middle of the night and need an evac and you’re on his People list he will come. twice in two days. dropping everything to go to the middle of indiana to do it. if you are sad and text him about it he will bring you food. if you don’t answer his texts he will find you and check in on you. if you feel out of place and adrift he will try to buy your baseball team and move them back to brooklyn to make you happy. if you die and he can’t cope with your death he will buy your first avengers indenticard for 2mil at an auction because he can’t stand the thought of anyone else having it. if you’re really special he’ll call you “beloved” and “captain handsome”. sometimes sweetheart. please note these things are all canon.

+ he dies a lot. it’s okay, he gets better.

+ his irrational fears are the dark and cockroaches. his actual fears are waking up drunk and the suit becoming a coffin.

anyway this is a Lot. and it’s not even really scratching the surface so. i’m gonna just drop this on the dash as is. and you know it helps for me to make dumb lists like this from time to time to refresh things. anyway, i know it’s a lot! i know it’s different! but my (broken) ims and disco (shellhead#8434) are always open for questions and plotting. and my inbox, too, ig. so you know. remember we’ve got a canon multiverse. it’s real easy for me to drop him in the mcu to make your day annoying.

#★ array . misc / do you walk in the shadow of men who sold their lives to a dream #★ subroutine . about / waging my wars behind my face and above my throat #★ array . psa / i can hold a grudge like nobody's business #long post #long post for ts #// me: i'll keep this short #// this post: incorrect

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let-me-make-you-proud · 5 years

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Tangled: The series Q&A with Chris.

This is a recapitulation from today’s (February 9th, 2019) Questions and Answers session with Chris on the Tangled Discord Server.

Q: How was your day? How has the crew been? A: That’s an easy one... so far, my day has been great! We’ve all been actually REALLY great! Everyone is still loving making the show! And we all can’t wait for you all to see what’s coming up!

Q: What this series means to you personally? A: As most already know, the show is very personal for me. I pull a lot of the themes and situations from my own experiences and the experiences of the people I love. The writers do an amazing job!

Q: Which episode are you most excited for out of the new titles that were released? A: I need to stay away from commenting on anything coming up. Sorry guys!!! You will love them though, I promise!

Q: Do you know whether or not there will be a long hiatus between season 2 and season 3 too? A: I do not know anything about Disney Channel’s plans for the shows schedule.

Q: I wonder who has built the caravan. Was it Rapunzel herself? A: We all just imagined that the caravan was picked up along the way shortly after the events of season one. I liked the idea that they were out there picking up supplies and things along their way. There could be more stories about how they acquired it. Those stories could be very fun.

Q: I know there are a lot of questions coming in but when you have a moment, would you mind telling us some of your favorite fan theories or AUs? A: AU’s - Well, that Moon Varian thing has gotten a lot of attention.

Q: What did you think when you heard that Germany was getting the episodes first? A: Honestly, it was quite odd to hear that Germany was getting the new episodes first. But again, I have zero say over how programming works at the channel. No one at the studio really does.

Q: Do you read fanfiction of the show? A: I don’t really have the time to read fan fiction, and I’d be worried that some of those ideas would find themselves into the show, so I stay away from them.... I’m sure they are great though!! I love that people feel so connected to the story that they write their own stories! That is SO GREAT! And inspiring in itself!

Q: Have you met any cosplayers? A: Uh, I met a few at D23! Amazing people!

Q: Fave piece of fanart? A: Any of the Cass fan art! I screen shot them and send a few of them to Eden! She loves them!!!

Q: Who's your favorite character? A: It’s hard to have a fav. I love them all so much!

Q: Bouncing off of that question, do you have a favorite villain? A: Well cone on, what would happen to me if I didn’t say Varian wasn’t my fav? HAHAHA!!! I do love Varian!

Comment: I noticed Varian went through lots of design changes, not really a question but I just gotta say how amazing his design is. Chris: He was conceived very early on in the development of the show. But he didn’t really come to life until Jeremy stepped into the role. His design changed after Jeremy was cast. Once we knew more about him he started to take more visual shape. He was a little softer in his design, not as dynamic. Ben Balistreri really found the right tone with him and gave him his final look! You can thank him!

Q: What about Cass. DId she change as well? A: Cass was similar. We had a pretty good idea of who she was, and what she would look like. But once I heard Eden’s voice, she became much more real and started to influence the design much more. Tough and able, she needed to look older and feel different than Rapunzel.

Q: Are you planning to add any more major-ish characters? A: Can’t really speak about upcoming episodes, SORRY!!!

Q: Do you or the other crew members have any pets that inspired any of the animals in the show, like Max or Rudiger or Pascal or Owl? A: Not REALLY?!I wanted my Scottish terrier to make it into the show, but he never did. His name was Conan!

Q: Is there anything you can tell us about (Shorty)? A: No, I like his mystery.

Q: Is he gonna be the Old Man Mcgucket of the series? A: He will NOT be the Old Man Mcgucket of the show.

Q: What is working on a creative team like? It's something i would love to do one day, but i was wondering what studio life is like? A: Working with the crew is the best part of the show. They are amazingly talented and inspiring! I love our crew. The artists, the writers, the voices, the musicians. It’s an amazing process. I’m so lucky that I get to work with ALL of them. I’m the only one that gets to work one on one with every single person on the show. Every single person brings a unique voice to the show. It has its challenges, but at the end of the day, you guys make it ALL worth it. So much more to come! You guys have no idea! I feel like the best stuff is ahead of us. I just wish there were more of you! I know, you guys do a GREAT job. But it’s amazing that so many “Tangled” fans still don’t even know that there is a SHOW!

Q: So at what point in the creative process do you think it's easiest to see what the episode will be? A: Hopefully it’s pretty early, but it doesn’t become solid for me until we start talking to the director and board artists about it. I love the visuals so it becomes clearer to me when I can start seeing things. The themes are always clear. It’s really about finding what the individual episode has to do with the season. Then I can start fine tuning it.

Q: What is you favourite scene? A: Oh I have so many. Um.......When her hair comes back. Her jumping out into the moonlight was my drawing. I loved that. It was like her being reborn.

Q: What made you decide that the leaf people on the Island (Lorbs) should talk with a German accent? A: It just seemed to be a funny thing for them to be German. Flula Borg is hilarious. He was in Pitch Perfect. And is on Conan O’Brien all the time.

Q: Has there ever been bloopers during the series? A: Bloopers are rare in animation. We cut scenes from time to time but the process needs to be tight so very few things get cut!

Q: Did anyone who said the idols name have trouble pronouncing "Idol of the Vershaftsbezeigungengien"? A: Oh! That?! HA! Flula just said it, nailed it. And it just became what the idol was called! We laughed every time he said it. He never messed it up. Nailed it every time.

Q: What background do we have on Friedborg's creation? A: Oh Friedborg.... She was simply meant to be this fun silent member of the castle. The show is SO heavy... and emotional, we just try to look for as many light moments and characters as we can to lessen the heaviness of the overall story.

Q: Did you have any inspiration for the character of Cass? A: Oh Cass. Ummm... she’s made up of a lot of people and experiences. I had an older wiser friend growing up that showed me the ropes. I wanted Rapunzel to have one of those. I cool, experienced buddy. Outside of Eugene. There’s your boyfriend, and then there’s your BFF. They are different.

Q: Were show auditions done all at the same time? Or as new characters needed? A: No, Lance came later, but I knew who I wanted for him. James was ALWAYS Lance.

Q: I'm curious, why did you decide to give Cass an Owl? A: Ben loves owls. And it seemed like something she’d have. Lives most of its real life at night.

Q: What was your inspiration for Quirin, Varian, and their family? A: Varian really came out of necessity. We needed something that would illustrate Rapunzel and her Father’s strained relationship.

Q: What inspired you to get so much Broadway talent for the voices? A: Well. I love broadway. And it seemed in line with the film already. Donna Murphy is a Broadway legend! So it only seemed natural. I knew there was going to be a lot of music and wanted a more sophisticated talent pool than just the regular Disney Channel Stars. Our cast is AMAZING! You guys have no idea.

Comment: Im a huge broadway fan I was so sad Christian Borle didn't sing. Chris: He didn’t sing.... BUUUUT STILL!!! CHRISTIAN BORLE!!!! He’s amazing!!!

Q: Whose bird design is your favourite? A: I loved them all. They won an award!!!

Q: With two legends like the actors playing mother and father, why did you decide to not do a song? A: Songs are difficult to do in the 22 min episodes. We knew we wanted Rapunzel and Cass to sing about the road, so after that we just ran out of time!

Q: Without going into spoilers, any information we can know on Adira's development? A: Well obviously she has the tattoo... So she’s connected in SOME way.

Q: On character design, how long does it take to design a character? A: As far as time goes.... The crew gets a few weeks to design a show, but for major characters that we know we will see over multiple episodes, we take more time. Ben was working on Adira’s design even before we ended season one.

Q: Could I be cheeky and ask for some portfolio tips? Like.. what would be the number one thing a studio (not just disney, any really) would look for when it comes to a character design artist? A: Good question...The number one thing needed for a designer is to know how to turn a character in space.It’s boring, but it’s the NUMBER ONE THING required for the job. Knowledge of shape and space. Not just 3/4 front. So many portfolios have these amazing drawings, but they don’t mean anything if that can’t animate. Do tons and tons of turns. A lot of people think that character design is this super creative flourish of whatever you want all day long. And honestly, it’s not.It’s a lot of mundane clinical turns that are done for use by animators.It’s very boring most of the time.

Q: Would that be very similar for general concept art? A: Well, there’s a difference between visual development and character design.Character design for TV is CLINICAL AND STERILE. But VERY useful. And necessary.But it’s not the life of a “Art of” book.You need to be able to think like a computer.

Q: How early did you have the concept for Lance, and did his role change during development? A: I think I’ve told this story before but I love telling it. About Lance. So. I had flown to New York to pitch the show to Music legend Alan Menken... We spent the day pitching and Alan loved the concept of the show and agreed to write our songs!!! HUGE! Life changing day for sure. So I think he got us tickets to see Aladdin that evening on Broadway. I had never seen it on stage. So we went and I always keep notes for ideas in my phone. And the moment I saw James Monroe Iglehart, I knew he needed to be in the show. He was so much fun! And big! And funny! And a GREAT singer.I wrote down “Eugene needs a fun friend from his past and James would be perfect!” This was before we even began writing any scripts for the show. So from then on out, he became a character in my head, it was just the details of how he would play into the story.But we all love him and James is like a brother to me. We have so much in common! He’s the best! He’s in Hamilton on Broadway now! He and Lin go back a LONG way!They have been friends for years! Q: Which movie or show song is your favourite? A: Well, if it’s not too obvious, I’m a “Little Shop of Horrors”/“Little Mermaid” guy.I love the tragedy of Little Shop and the beauty of Mermaid. I love music and animation. I think our songs are some of the best Disney has to offer across the board. I’d put any of our songs against the features any day.And there are more coming that are some of the best in the series!!!

Comment: Listen up is one of my favorites. Chris: I like listen up because Rapunzel at that point needs to listen to the voices in her head... it was motivated by the things that were happening in the bigger story.

Comment: I liked View from up here. Chris: View from Up Here was also motivated by the bigger arc of the story. Songs for me should work hard to inform the audience what is happening in the story overall, not just what’s happening AT THE MOMENT. “Ready as I’ll ever be” was really about Rapunzel getting ready to leave home. She was as ready to start her adventure as she was going to be. We just used the song to give that same attitude to everyone. But Rapunzel is the focus. Everything SHOULD have purpose. Narrative purpose.

Chris: Keep watching and SPREAD THE WORD!!!

#Tangled #Tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #Q&A #Tangled crew #Questions & Answers #chris sonnenburg #Rapunzel #Cassandra #Eugene #flynn rider #Varian #Lance #Adira #Disney

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mendesunicorns-blog · 6 years

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Believe

This is just my sad self, writing angst and not letting myself get lost in this shit. Also, my first try at angst, so I’m so sorry if this sucks.

Summary: you meet his friends for the first time and they seem to love you, but then you lose Shawn in the crowdy house and you’re not happy, so he brings up some stuff that he has wanted to say for a while.

a lot of asshole!shawn, im sorry. shawn, honey, ily

1k+ full of angst, enjoy x

You felt comfortable. Your hand in Shawn’s, you enjoyed walking from one circle of his friends to another, until you met the host of the whole party. You two had a chat, the friendly brunette showing you some stuff in the kitchen until you realized that your boyfriend wasn’t around.

Now, you weren’t a person, who’d get nervous about stuff, but anxiety kicked in as soon as you realized Shawn was gone. See, you were a normal, regular person, but you had anxiety doing stuff, that other people can do easily, since you felt scared to be rejected or misinterpreted.

You swallowed the lump that had formed in your throat and it felt like being okay. “You good?” the female you had been chatting with the whole time, asked you. “You look out of place.”

“Y-yeah, it’s just...anxiety issues. Shawn promised to be around, but he left and it just kinda hit me,” you nervously laughed, trying to remain calm. This is stupid, you shouldn’t be doing this, Y/N, it’s fine.

It quite frankly didn’t help, that the house was really crowded. When you went to the living room and saw how many people there were, you felt lost. You felt like you could scan the room a hundred times, yet you still wouldn’t be able to find Shawn. Maybe he just went to the men’s room.

You suddenly felt an arm grab you and shove you in a room. You were ready to scream, but then you saw it was Hailey, the girl you were talking to earlier. “Hails, I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not.”

Then it hit you. You couldn’t feel it until you sat down. All the thoughts came back to you, it felt like the power of your anxiety took over your body and you just broke down. You couldn’t help it. Everything was okay, but it felt like it wasn’t. It felt like the walls you built around to make sure you were okay today, weren’t there anymore. They all fell down and you were just you now.

But everything was okay.

You started crying and slid down the wall, shaking uncontrollably. Suddenly, Aaliyah, Shawn’s sister, ran in and saw the state you were in. Hailey gave her a quick rundown and ran outside, but you didn’t hear why. Probably to look for Shawn, who’s gonna beat the shit out of someone, because his girl was a mess.

You didn’t see him run in, but you did saw him in front of you. His face made your heart break, it was so...fragile. Like, you did something to him. Oh yeah, you panicked with no damn reason, but that was mainly all. God, you felt terrible.

“Baby, look at me,” he put his soft hand on your cheek. Lord, his touch always made you melt. “Hey, shh, I’m here.”

He held you, while you cried your heart out over the stupidest thing. The moment you seemed to calm down, you just remembered why you were crying and it all started again. But when you finally had calmed down, he asked you the same question he had been asking this entire time. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s stupid,” you looked down, embarrassed, shy, feeling rather pathetic.

He kissed the top of your head, while rocking you in his arms slowly. “Honey, nothing you say or cry about is stupid, you know that.”

You sniffled.

He turned you around, so you’d have to face him. But you didn’t want to. “Hey, look at me.” You didn’t. You wanted to bury yourself deep under ground in embarrassment. He put a finger under your chin so softly, you could just fall apart. He looked in your teary eyes, feeling his heart break in thousand pieces. If not even million.

“It’s just...” you couldn’t find the right words for the situation that had happened. “You left,” your voice cracked. “It’s okay, it’s not your fault, it’s just...the moment I realized you’re not around, I felt vulnerable. And the moment I saw the crowded living room, Hailey brought me here and I just...fell apart. I’m sorry-”

“No, don’t even apologize. I should be the one to apologize, as I promised to be next to you the whole time. Let’s just go home, okay?”

So you did. Although, you noticed something snap in him after a talk with a dude who’s name you couldn’t remember. His mood was snappy, he wasn’t the soft and caring boy you spent the time calming down with, in one of the rooms.

He suddenly stopped the car, at a green light, so you kinda flew to the front. When your back hit the uncomfortable seat, you looked at him. “Shawn, you okay?”

He looked at you. “You had to do that, didn’t you?”

“What are you talking about?” you let out an awkward laugh. Knew I’d fuck it up with my anxiety issues.

“It was part of the plan, wasn’t it?”

“What plan?” you put your hand on his cheek. “What plan are you talking about, honey?” he did what you thought he wouldn’t do. He slapped your hand away.

He continued to drive. “The whole anxiety attack prank. It was a prank, wasn’t it? Oh no, wait, it was just a trick, huh? And let me guess, it was Hailey’s idea, since she thinks she has something to get back at me with. You just went with it, because you know how to do it.”

“Shawn, no-”

“I can’t believe I was sitting in that room, holding you, but it was all fake. Your cries were legit, it felt like it was real.”

You yelled. “Because it was!” Silence consumed the car. You didn’t let him continue to humiliate you. “It was real, because it felt like the walls I built around myself, preparing for the party broke down. When I saw you weren’t there, something inside me clicked, something inside me just....fell apart. I’d never join in a plan involving something like that or a plan, that’d involve you, being hurt, because I love you. You’re the one that I love and for God’s sakes, you’re stupid for believing whatever the dude told you.”

Silence. Again.

Shawn reached his hand for your thigh now, as he usually did, but you slapped it away. “Piss off.”

Once he stopped the car in the parking lot, you got out, took your stuff and went in the house, before unlocking the door, messing with the keys. Shawn was fast on following you, but didn’t catch you. You took your shoes off and ran upstairs, slamming the door shut and it made Shawn wince.

He fucked up. He believed a dude’s theory rather than the sad, embarrassing truth.

You fell on your bed, got under the cover and sobbed loudly.

He didn’t believe you.

just before I post this, I’d like you know that I’m not using anxiety to romance the relationship between characters. anxiety is a thing, it’s real and it happens, and I wrote Y/N’s experience as my own. i’ve been there, so if you dare to tell me that it’s not, i’ll just end you. bc it is real and it’s a thing. love you. goodnight. x

#shawn mendes #shawn peter raul mendes #shawnmendes #shawn mendes fluff #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes angst #angst

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syxsol-blog · 6 years

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hey guys. not so happy annoucement this time, but bear with me

I have health issues that i need to focus on for now, so ive decided to leave the directory (a wandering ghost of a character around the ship doesn’t really help development of the directory you know??). i know it seems really sudden, but i wouldn’t leave like this if it wasnt really important for me to. I love everyone here, i love the story line, and i love watching everyone create these super detailed characters to drive along the plot.

however, im a pretty sappy person, so ive decided to write some personal goodbyes. some of you i didnt get to speak with on as regular of a basis, but i still read your stuff on dash and appreciated you creating a story and experiecing that passion second hand. without further hesitation...

@sysidereus you’re married to multiple people but i GUESS that’s fine. as long as im the number one wife, it’s okay. ;) I love talking to you, even if it’s unrelated to the directory or just random shit about tv shows like jane the virgin (i still wanna make that meme board including the entire crew of serenity). we vibe well, and you’re an incredible writer. sid has always been one of my favorite muses here, and the one thing i regret-- TWO things i regret are not being able to talk you as much, and not being able to see sol and sid become best friends but sorta gay. like naruto and sasuke. honestly i adore you, and i hope i see you around again.

@syxephraim babe babe babe Bae. I know you’ve been worrying about my disappearance acts for a while, but ill say it a hundred times over. you’re one of the best rp partners ive ever had. no contest, really. you’re incredibly sweet and wonderful, too. the plot between eph and sol is one of my favorite plots ive ever had, and I’ve had a LOT of plots, trust me. there’s nothing quite like finding a writer like you who i can trade headcanons back and forth so seamlessly until it becomes this story that’s bigger than i ever imagined. there is not one moment i regret logging in to send you a message, even just a quick one before i fell off the earth. i wish i had more time to develop the relationship between sol and ephraim. spoiler for you: Sol is in love with ephraim, and he has been since he left persephone. He loves that boy down to his core, and there’s no changng that. I hope to return one day so I can write with you again. You’re loved, angel. Don’t doubt that.

@kamorasy what’s funny is our characters always end up in brother/sister roles together. you have me on twitter, too, so we won’t lose contact, but you still get a sweet message from me because *clenches fists meme* I just love you that much. we knew each other from vanta black, too. and girl... your characters are like discovering treasure. so complex, well thought out, and experately played. we’re always able to headcanon w each other (altho for some reason we can never quite actually rp). but i never have a problem writing with you. it runs like clockwork. take care of yourself, okay? & if you ever need someone to drive away a strange man that hits on you, call me up

@syjaewon Queen Bee. you’ve been really understanding with everything and i can’t even say how much i appreciate that. like... wow. two directories we’ve known each other, and in each one, im awed by you. jaewon is an unforgettable muse, he really is, and you’re unforgettable mun, you really are. you’ve built an amazing place for people to come to and feel safe to express and write stories together. in all my rp years, ive only seen that a few times. thank you for letting me be a part of serenity, and you know where to find me if you ever need me. <3

@syxhenry Hi, doll. sorry that goodbyes have come down to this long ass message full of sap. i still think it’s hilarious that you were in kingsman & i didnt realize that till much later. there’s something very special about your characters. they’re all so well done, and the way you write them makes you want to keep reading everything about them. i’m lucky that i did get to write with you in not one, but two different places. henry and sol’s relationship didn’t develop quite as far as i would have loved to see them go, but there’s always more opportnities. i loved talking to you about characters, and plotting out the bizarre admiration sol has for henry. and i will always probably ship henry/noi. can you blame me?

@syaudrey im crying in the club right now because i have to say goodbye to one of the muns of a kickass engineering lady. you make me happy bc of how you are as a person, and the fact you’re writing about characters people don’t normally write about. can i just say how much i love the fact that audrey is asexual and amazing and complex and hilariously prickly all in one? sol and audrey are so funny bc all sol wants is to be friends with her, and she finds his bubbly attitude suspicious. i wish we’d gotten to rp that relationship to completion. we only started talking more frequently for a little bit, but omg i wish id had more time to chat with you. you’re so great and so is your muse. i only wish you the best, babe.

@sysullivan i only hope you can forgive me... maybe if i get on my knees. we had a lot of plans, and im sad we didnt get to write them out together. maybe some day, right? you’re one of the first people i talked to a LOT here, and i just want to thank you for humoring me, especially when i would send you the most ridiculous ideas or thoughts about things. also, i was the one that sent that secret admirer message that one time. ;))))) sol’s little crush on sullivan was really fun for me to write out, even if i only got to for a short time. what i like about you the most as a writer is how much thought and detail you put into your characters. absolutely blows my mind, honestly it does. i hope you never stop writing that way. you’re brilliant. thank you for sticking with me

@syxyihan you NEVER fail to make me smile, it’s incredible. plus writing with you is always really fun-- i had the most fun writing with you because you’re not afraid to be silly or a little ridiculous. i love both versions of your muse with all my heart, and i enjoyed every second i did get to speak with you. you’re in the wind now, like i am, but i still hope you see this. your creations are some of my favorite to see, and i really hope you keep writing. there’s a particular quality about your writing that makes you want to keep reading and reading and reading, and you’re sad when you reach the end of it because you want to see more. i loved the relationships between our characters even if they were short lived... and for the love of god i need real closure with yihan and henry. im crying. BUT. ill just write fanfic for them instead. LMAOO. your writing is gorgeous, it really is. best of luck to you <3 thank you

@syxmina mina is my kick ass cool aunt :( you’re one of the first people i interacted with... and their dynamic is sol being the annoying little kid who almost gets killed by mina all the time. yet, i love that. she never really killed him and deep down i like to think she still sort of... tolerates him in a positive way. i love mina will all of my sol (LMAO LET ME BE LAME). the way you play her is great to see. i hope you keep writing, and continue to spread your creativity. it’s worth wtinessing every time

@syxsonmi WE NEVER GOT tooooo WRITE. i’ll always remember you becuase you plotted that super cool, super dark plot with me right from the start. it takes a certain person to go crazy with that subject material right along with me, BUT YOU STILL DID AND I ADORE YOU FOR IT. you’re also a dreamcatcher fan and i gotta protect my fellow dreamcatcher friends. siyeon is my wife and ill worship her until i die but i digress. i love sonmi, and im sad we never got to write out that super cool plot. i only hope you can forgive me for disappearing on you. i loved watching sonmi develop beyond her trauma. you write her well, and this rp wouldnt be the same without you

@sybyul you thought i wouldn’t mention you, didn’t you? Well, think again. we didn’t get to writing that super awesome dynamic between our characters, but it’ll live on in my head and ill always remember you fondly. 1) you’re a really talented writer. 2) you’re really funny lmao afFALSKJKl. i wish i had more time with you, but maybe ill come back, or maybe we’ll run into each other again in a different directory. your writing is gorgeous, i never get tired of reading your application ( i think ive read it at least five times ). no lie. sorry that we have to part ways like this, but i really did enjoy being around you. remember to watch ice spiders or dragon wars & hate me for bringing that into your life. <3

at @ everyone else.

you make this place unforgettable, you really do. ive been here for a while, although i have been a ghost, i still logged in to keep up with the activity and the development of everyone’s characters. i don’t regret one moment or one second i spent here. one reason i didn’t write a solo of sol leaving is because i hope to return, i really do. but for now

you’re all talented, and I enjoyed watching all of you be so creative and passionate about this place. i love all of you. and since ive already been sappy, ill be a little even more sappy. remember to be kind to people, take care of yourselves, and keep writing.

see you, space cowboy

#[ ooc; ]

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miya-kaka · 4 years

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Yori info 1

I just really want to answer questions about Yori, I have zero followers so I must rely on myself. ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ

questions from:

“OC questions I haven’t seen yet” 1. Do any of your OCs have a speech impediment? hmm I don’t believe any of them do.

2. Do any of your OCs have a physical disability? They do not; because I myself don’t/haven’t experienced what its liked to live with a physical disability, I would rather study/educate myself deeply on that topic before creating a character that may have/experience it. I don’t want to make one that could come off as disrespectful in anyway, since it’s a serious matter.

3. What is your OCs favorite band if they have one? I just realized i don’t have alot of ocs.... hmmm with my oc’s i just realized that I tend to have them living in their own world apart from my own. So I never took time to think if they’d like any celebrities/music/groups from irl.... hmm yori might like something like kinokoteikoku?.. hmmm

4. Does your OC have anything they take pride in? (like an award or collection?) Yori takes alot of pride in his business that he started with his friends help. They inspired him to live life for himself for once and find something he loved and he managed to do just that, now his business is like his baby. Apart from that he also starred in a few competitions for baking and won a few awards from those as well as his collection of vintage wedding dresses~ his pride and joy.

5. Does your OC have a favorite film? He does not... hmm I feel like he’d be a sucker for sad romance movies, not romcoms but ones where hes like a sobbing mess constantly yelling out BRO.

6. How tall is your OC? I don’t remember how tall i originally made him...I wanna say I said 4 something, but now I wanna have him at least 5′5 or 5′6 (167cm) average height.

7. Does your OC have any celebrity crushes? Hmmmm, does my other oc, celestin, count lol. Celestin is a model for a period of time so I think he could count.

8. Do you ship any 2 of your OCs? I do!~ I ship Yori and stein of course, the main pair, but I really like to draw yori and celestin together alot. Theres just something pure about them (｡•́︿•̀｡) 9. How would you describe your OCs fashion taste? Hmmm, as a teenager, yori definitely had an average sort of style (wearing sweaters, school unirforms, cardigans, beanies, like regular scene/hipster teen stuff). But as he grew up and worked along side saga (his fashion designer friend), he was able to find his own certain flare. I’m not sure how to describe it, cause he can go from goth king, to chunky shoe hip cool guy. idk. im not good at describing fashion... i should draw him more to give visuals hmmm. for the most part though, turtle necks and black clothes. but he has moments where he likes to switch it up.

10. Does your OC have any special talents? adapting. and baking. he didn’t realize how good he was at baking until certain stuff starts happening around him and he needs an outlet to suppress negative thoughts. probably the wrong way to go about things, but...realistic in a sense.

11. Is your OC really bad at something? as a teen he is very bad at keeping his daydreams and reality apart. he thinks everything comes easily ex: Because he and stein are in love, if they move out with little to no preparation (no income, no help, etc.), things will be easy sailing. I guess hes very naive?He was also pretty bad at cooking and generally just taking care of himself overall. As an adult, hes really bad at expressing his emotions, he was amazing as a teen, but now hes very... seclusive.... keeps things bottled in, kinda like he doesn’t want to get hurt, but in a, lol no one can hurt me cause i just wont care/invest.

12. Does your OC have both of their parents? He does...for a while...

13. Does your OC know their parents? He does and doesn’t. he knows who they are, but he never built a relationship with them so he honestly doesnt know much about them.

14. Does your OC have any siblings? Yes~ he has an older sister, Naoko and a younger/twin sister, Yuki who had passed away at a young age.

15. Do any of your OCs have pets? I never thought about them having pets....maybe i should give them pets... hmm~ Maybe yori would have a dog, ooo maybe like a collie, a husky, german shepard or golden retriever... or maybe a smaller breed... i have to think about that.

16. Do you have any nonhuman OCs? HMMM well yori and the rest started off as half human half animal oc’s, but I ended up changing them around, because I wanted a different kind of story going on... Yori was originally a wolf, stein was also a wolf, saga a cat, kairi a lamb, celestin a bird (i dont remember what kind, I wanna say swan), Miya a fox, Narci a spider, etc.

17. Do you have any OCs you haven't posted about? Technically because I restarted my art blog for this series, all of them apart from yori lollllll

18. How would you describe your OCs nature in one word? Resilient.

19. Who is your youngest OC? mmmmmmm I DONT REMEMBER. hm... I guess it would be Narcisse?

20. Who is your oldest OC? I think it was Kairi if I remember correctly, unless we’re including parents? then maybe Celestins mom...

21. What race is your OC? Yori is Japanese.

22. Would your OC like you? Hmmm I feel like he would and wouldn’t. He would probably be friends with me, but maybe treat me the way saga treats celestin. Harsh towards him, but in an endearing, older sibling kind of way but also “you’re a fucking idiot, i’ll destroy you.” (;´༎ຶٹ༎ຶ`)

#yori #answering questions

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groundramon · 7 years

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Do you have a list of like top 5 tv shows? (Cartoons and anime included)

!!! Yes I do, actually!

I’ve actually thought about doing a YouTube video about this in the past, and while I do want to do list-like videos (and I already have at least one in mind) in the future, I put off doing this one because it actually…depends greatly on where certain shows I currently like are headed because some currently-airing shows would be on this list if they hit their full potential, but who knows if they’ll hit their full potential. Also I always split anime and cartoons into two categories because I always had a hard time picking otherwise xD But I do have some semblance of a list, and I adore talking about this kind of stuff, sooo:

5. Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

This spot is kind of a three-way tie between Voltron, Bojack Horseman, and FMAB, all for extremely different reasons. So consider Voltron and Bojack my honorable mentions. But while I believe Bojack’s best is honestly some of the (if not the) best out there, and if Voltron promises through on what they’ve promised it will easily skyrocket up this list, Bojack’s worst is everything I hate about Hollywood and Voltron just has too many holes at the moment. FMAB has the best of both worlds because it has great animation like Voltron, doesn’t have any of Bojack’s bad kind of moments, and doesn’t have many holes in it. (Another honorable mention goes to BNHA, but like Voltron, I just don’t think it has had enough time to develop all the way. Unlike Voltron, it doesn’t really have any holes, but I do have a problem with how strictly it adheres to cheesy super heroes of the past.)

BUT onto FMAB itself. God cmon, its FMAB, do I really need to elaborate why its so great? The characters are compelling, their motivations are powerful and interesting. I could write an essay examining Ed’s character alone, because he has so many interesting motivations and morals that seemingly conflict with his angry disposition, and I don’t even like Ed that much. The story is exciting - there’s basically no filler, and it almost moves too fast at points. I do have problems with the show - as I said, it goes too fast. The only two deaths in the season happen in the first 12-15 episodes of the series, and although I think that’s because the original FMA animated those scenes already, it still fucks with the pacing of this show. Additionally, despite Lust, Gluttony, and Envy all being revealed before, the show introduces a completely new villain - Greed - to introduce the homunculi. And then they kill Lust - the presumed leader of the first three introduced homunculi?? Idk man, the show barrels in a completely different direction way too quickly. But other than that, its a great show. The only reason it isn’t higher is because I’m a biased shit towards other good shows.

4. Teen Titans

Speaking of being a biased shit, idk if it shows or not, but I have a HUGE soft spot for corny kids shows that try to give kids bad laughs and dark/relatable storylines, or rather, have a heart while doing so. Its not so much that I like a balance of comedy and darkness in my shows - although that’s a good thing, I eat pure angst up and I’m all-for pure comedy shows that have the aforementioned heart (ie we bare bears, another good show not on this list) - its just specifically corny pun-ridden teen/tweeny-feeling shows/games that actually have a decent story underneath that get me. (Also my sense of humor aligns much more with shitty teen lingo and puns than modern cartoon humor that’s considered “good”. Like I find Teen Titans 10x funnier than I’ve ever found Steven Universe. I’m a 90s kid at heart even tho I wasn’t alive in the 90s)

But the biggest impact of this show for me was the heart and the plot. The silly moments made me laugh, sometimes iromically and sometimes unironically and sometimes I wasn’t sure how, but it was the story that really gripped me. The first season’s overarching plot for Robin is honestly one of the most compelling things I’ve seen in kids cartoons…period. Its dark, its unique, its a subversion of such a simble and broad trope. Sure it had a nice cheesy ending but Robin actually saves the day through INTELLIGENCE, something he always had. No other Teen Titans ending did that, but I digress.

And god, do not even get me started on Terra’s arc. Just because Robin’s was the most well-structured arc doesn’t mean his was the most emotional. I was fucking distraught after Terra’s season. Those memes weren’t a joke, I legitimately cried right in front of my mom. IT WAS SO OBVIOUS, BUT IN MY BLIND LOVE, I MISSED ALL THE SIGNS… and god, even when she comes back, even when she’s given a happy ending, she manages to make me cry AGAIN. I never, ever thought I could cry over a character like Beast Boy, but she made me do it. I didn’t even cry when Sokka’s girlfriend died, but this really, really got to me. Once for personal attachment, and the second time because…the finale is so good. Literally its Bojack levels of deep, emotional, and realistic, and this was the ending of a fucking kids show. What the fuck. To this day I still get emotional whenever something reminds me of her arc. Which brings me to my next series…

3. Cybersix

Hi so did I mention Cybersix is really good? Because Cybersix is really good. I’m not even done with it but yeah, I love this show. It’s got an amazing art style, great animation, an intriguing story…I have a feeling I’m gonna be really disappointed when it ends because I’ll want to know what happens next so badly. I like the characters, I like the aesthetic, I like the old-timey music that dates this cartoon so wonderfully, I even like the romance between Lucas and Cybersix/Adrian! How’d you make me do that. Oh yeah, because it’s not hard to get me to care about a mutually rewarding relationship that’s gradually built up through a friendship, then an aesthetic attraction, then presumably a relationship but idk yet, where both parties care about one another and their boundaries and have gotten along well since the start. I forgot. (I could nitpick that Lucas doesnt have the same buildup for the relationship as Cybersix [its complicated, basically he’s friends with Cybersix’s alternate persona Adrian but he’s in a relationship with Cybersix, and he doesnt know theyre the same person] but I’m not gonna.) It’s just…a good show man. @ hollywood, reboot THIS you cowards. Stop rebooting shit nobody wanted a new version of and reboot shows that were ended to quickly. Actually dont reboot Cybersix because the only animation studios that would be able to do it any justice are Studio Mir and anime studios, and whoever owns the current copyright to Cybersix would probably be okay using flash for it

2. Digimon Adventure (with a honorable mention to Digimon Tamers)

You can rip my love for the entire Digimon franchise from my cold, dead hands. I’m sincerely surprised any show passed up my love for this show. If/when the currently airing series in Japan gets brought over here, I’ll watch it, even though Digimon has kind of abandoned what made it so great in the first place. But hell, even Fusion was enjoyable - the second arc, from what I remember, was pretty dark and interesting (im still mad they got rid of the two best characters tho) - and the only reason I disliked Data Squad so much is because of Marcus (that and it doesnt have anything else that’s absolutely stunning, in fact from a technical standpoint Marcus is the best thing about the show).

But there’s a reason I put Digimon Adventure here and not the entirety of the Digimon franchise. Digimon Adventure is what started it all. No Digimon season has as much heart in it as the original. Sure the animation improves each season, sure Tamers is probably better story-wise on a technical level, but I dont think any season matches the raw charm of the original. It was so charming, in fact, that what was supposed to be a 13-episode miniseries evolved into a massive franchise that’s still beloved to this day. Hell, there’s still content being released for the 8 Digidestined of this season! It’s right alongside Pokemon, Invader Zim, Hey Arnold, and all these other beloved 90s/early 2000s cartoons that are being revived in recent years, and I think that says a lot.

I wasn’t even alive when Digimon Adventure was airing, but I loved the Digimon games I had played so much that I went out of my way to watch it. And I…loved it. Sad as it may be, it was the greatest TV show I had seen at the time. Growing up in the late 2000s watching only Nickelodeon and CN was not a good period to grow up in, and I never saw Avatar as a kid. By the time the 2010s had rolled around, I had mostly given up on cartoons, and besides, they were all fugly. I still tried to watch some, but just…the humor didn’t grip me, they seemed dumb, and they weren’t pleasant to look at. (Okay the main shows I’m vaguing about are Adventure Time and Regular Show, as well as whatever Nickelodeon was doing but I begrudgingly put up with Nickelodeon for the most part because I preferred Nick and I never knew what else to watch) Then Digimon came around, and hol-y-shit. The characters were like nothing I had ever seen before, the storylines engaging and interesting. Sure it was cheesy, but there was 95% less fart jokes than the average cartoon, a good story, and actually relatable characters that actually go through hardships and actually change for the better!

Digimon Adventure has been and always will be proof to me that no matter what you are, no matter what your show is, you can make a good show out of it. If you get people who care, who can make relatable characters, who can come up with an interesting story, you can make a good show. Digimon Adventure is basically a big long toy commercial, and yet its better than lots of shows that dont even have merchandise - and its also better than a lot of shows that have merchandise now, but weren’t created to sell toys in the first place. I just. Love it a lot.

Also, the reason I specifically chose Digimon Adventure, outside of having a personal attachment to it since it was always my favorite, is because Tamers hecking scared me as a kid and I’ve never gotten over how creepy the last arc is. Like it’s good, but it still scared me.

Honorable mentions: Bojack Horseman, Voltron: Legendary Defender, We Bare Bears, Gravity Falls (thats a big one, it would definitely be on this list if I had 10 spots, and will gladly take the 6th spot if Voltron doesnt follow through or Bojack goes south), Over the Garden Wall, the aforementioned Digimon Tamers ,and Infinity Train might be #2 or at least #3 if it wasnt just a single episode l m a o

1. A tie between Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra

HI SO YEAH if you didnt expect this then you dont know me //BRICKED

Before I explain both, I want to be very clear that I’m not counting them as a single entity. No, I just cant pick between them. They’re two extremely different shows, and I actually agree with people who say ATLA is overall a more-rounded show. Problem is, I watched both during a period of my life where politics and darkness make an extremely interesting show for me (aka the current period of my life) and thus its a very biased and “nostalgic” pick, just like Digimon Adventure. Had I watched these shows when they were airing, I dont know if LOK would even be on this list. Heck Digimon adventure probably wouldnt be on this list since ATLA would’ve held the crown for my favorite show for all those years.

They both have amazing animation and solid writing, but that’s about all they have in common in my eyes - even though they share the same world.

Avatar: The Last Airbender is a kids show. Through and through, its a kids show. That’s not an insult in the slightest though; no, the fact that they can make something so sophisticated and enjoyable that still clearly appeals to children is really a testament to their skills. Many kids shows that try to take on heavier/darker stories feel like completely different shows when they try to do that - shows that arent intended for kids. Voltron and SU are the most notable examples of that, but even LOK has a little bit of that (but in LOK’s case, its the entire show, so I kinda give them a pass lol) Other shows do it okay (Gravity Falls) but really the only show I’ve ever seen match Avatar’s perfect balance of comedy and seriousness is Bojack, which isn’t a kids show so it has an advantage over Avatar.

Avatar’s world is fanciful and larger than life. I’m so sad that I watched Avatar and LOK after my fanfiction days; I would’ve loved to spend nights thinking about a potential Avatar story, complete with my own Avatar and original cast. I could put it before Avatar, after LOK, who knows? but it would’ve been so much fun. Hell I HAVE thought about Avatar stories, but I obviously dont have much thought up on any of my potential ideas.

The pacing of Avatar is golden. How a show wish such good pacing got through Nickelodeon, I dont know, but whatever deal allowed Avatar to go on for three seasons and then end was a once-in-a-life-time deal (as evident by what happened to Korra). Somehow this show came out almost completely perfect, with few or no flaws.

This is the pinnacle of children’s entertainment, in my opinion. This is proof that there’s no excuse for the garbage that makes up 90% of children’s entertainment. The standard doesn’t have to be this, since this is the best, but this show is proof that we need to raise the standard. I wish executives actually gave a shit about quality; if they did, maybe we could get mostly good shows instead of mostly bad shows.

If most shows were half as good as Avatar, the average show would be gorgeously-animated, smartly-written, and really good, even if it had a flaw here and there. If most shows were half as good as Avatar, Steven Universe would be the average instead of a godsend.

If I someday, somehow make a show that’s 2/3rds as good as Avatar, I’ll officially be a good writer. I’d love to make tons of shows just as good as Avatar, but hey, I cant get TOO cocky now lol

Now for The Legend of Korra. Korra has slightly better animation (god i love studio mir) and different but still intriguing worldbuilding. I know a lot of people found the political bs to be annoying, but I actually found it quite intriguing. Avatar did a little bit of exploring moral gray areas and playing with politics, but Korra just goes all-out. I wish the first season’s morality could’ve been a little grayer, but even then, the politics were still interesting. And god, that one scene in the first season finale, the murder-suicide…that’s still a really powerful scene. The entire finale would’ve been super powerful were it not for everything resetting by the end of it, but hey, they basically did the same thing in season 3!

Holy shit though, season 3. An on-screen strangling. Someone exploding themselves to death. And then the finale’s fight. The finale’s fight. The finale of season 3 is one of the most intense things I’ve seen…ever. The atmosphere in that fight is just…so good - combined with the animation and choreography, its just amazing. You can almost feel every hit, you actually feel concern for Korra, you’re legitimately concerned for her life. And you know what? You should’ve been! Because she almost dies, and she has to suffer the consequences of that. The fourth season has a time gap in-between, but even then, she spends episodes trying to fully recover.

In my opinion, the only thing making Korra a kids show is Milo. I’m certain they put him in there because otherwise, it wouldn’t have been allowed to be called a kids show. It’s dark, its intelligent, its beautiful, and it’s going to go right over most kid’s heads. As a kids show it does kind of fail; it just doesn’t really appeal enough to them. Once you’re old enough to understand, say, Naruto or Dragon Ball you should be okay, but ATLA appeals to all ages while Korra really needs a certain maturity in its audience to be understood and to not scare its audience.

They’re just both. so good

(thanks for the ask!!!)

#stormy answers #long post #this took forever to answer but it was w o r t h #i actually have a script for this video now lmao so i could make this video now if i wanted to

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battystumutchildren-blog · 7 years

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RYAN: -back at it again at the silvah dollah. it's kinda nice to have someplace new to stalk around the later hours of the day. she knows it's not exactly advisable for various reasons to transportalize out onto the satelite isolated far from her home. but... whatever. it's comfortable here and finding comfort elsewhere, somewhere more familiar, is a difficult task for her.-

RYAN: -she's hanging out at the counter again, poking at the remaining contents of a strawberry milkshake and being far less chatty than she was yesterday.-

SILVAH: -Given that there's not really much ON this station other than Skaianet research facilities, private research facilities and basically....the one resturaunt at least there's not much trouble Ryan can get up to up here. Silvah is just finishing cleaning and restoring his stocks from last night. He stayed up far too late and got a little drunk himself, but he's in good spirits. He's fairly sure the reopening was rousing success and that he's gonna make back the money he spent on the deck. Big man is boppin with the radio as he works until he finally makes his way back behind the counter and sees Ryan there. His fins flick.-

SILVAH: Blondie!

SILVAH: I thought I made a regular outta you.

RYAN: -perks up, immediately putting on a smile when she hears his voice, but it's definitely half hearted.-

RYAN: naturally??? youve got some great vibes going on here. :blush:

SILVAH: I built it that way babycakes, but that don't mean it ain't nice to hear.

SILVAH: -starts restocking the baked goods displays as they chitchat.-

SILVAH: You had some pretty good vibes yourself last night. -Not so much today though, huh? He's peepin on her.-

RYAN: again. naturally! as a new regular youll soon discover im always the life of the party. :wink: -leans on the counter, chin in her hand.- SILVAH: That's quite a claim. Maybe I should think about buyin a leaderboard. Huh huh.

SILVAH: Sure are cute though. Feel like I should be payin you to sit there and look pretty.

RYAN: well im not about to turn down that offer. :hugging:

RYAN: ive got a pretty lengthy resume as a professional cutie. you wouldnt regret the decision.

SILVAH: Now, now. I'm not totally sold. You strike me as a troublemaker too.

SILVAH: Acutally now that I'm thinkin about it, the round robin never made it to ya.

SILVAH: What's your story?

RYAN: :scream:

RYAN: its not polite to ask a lady such questions...

RYAN: which is definitely NOT something a troublemaker would say. :thinking: SILVAH: Keepin it close to the vest I see. That's fine. I'll get it out of ya eventually.

SILVAH: Food is great at makin people talk. RYAN: -chinhands intensifies.- yeah? what do you find is the best thing to feed a person to get them to share their life story? SILVAH: Somethin' caffeinated.

SILVAH: I'll tell you what- I'm crossin strawberry milkshakes off the list as of today.

RYAN: -giggles. geez... it feels good to laugh.-

RYAN: okay fine. youve fed me enough lines to change my tune. :stuck_out_tongue:

RYAN: youre right about me... i am a troublemaker. but im trying to cut back these days. SILVAH: -Seems satisfied at getting her to laugh. And to crack.-

SILVAH: Respect, little lady. It's not easy.

SILVAH: I'm also one of those.

RYAN: yeah? what are your vices?

RYAN: mine incluuuuude... -checks them off on her fingers as she says them in an attempt to keep it light.- running away. all manner of narcotics. and beautiful sad men and women that only break your heart.

RYAN: so you know. the standard really.

SILVAH: You're right. That is a hell of a resume. -Scratches under his fat chin with Robut hand.-

SILVAH: Lesee....I'm right there with ya on runnin away. Dissapointin my family. Sexual deviancy. An you may have noticed that I like to eat a lil bit.

SILVAH: We already got the makins of a pretty good country song. Too bad that's not my favorite genre.

RYAN: hehehe. id love to inspire any kinda song really.

RYAN: but other than that it seems weve got a lot in common. -sips milkshake.-

RYAN: ive been... disappointing a lot of people for a long time. but i feel like i really dropped the fucking ball again recently. :weary:

SILVAH: -Now he's got both fins angled towards her.- You wanna get into it?

SILVAH: Don't gotta. But if you feel like you need to I have time.

SILVAH: That's how I got so fat. I'm full of secrets.

RYAN: -snickers and shrugs, swirling the straw around in the glass thoughtfully.- well... guess theres no harm in it.

RYAN: since youre being so nice and charming. :wink:

RYAN: things have just been... i dunno.

RYAN: first i fell off the wagon.

RYAN: definitely disappointed my family... and probably my boyfriend. or like. whatever our deal even is. -sighs.-

RYAN: then my ex comes along and starts pulling some burn book bullshit... spilling all my secrets. pissing off my friends. making aforementioned romantic relationship all the more complicated. i think.

RYAN: ugh. -just sighs. it's hard to really dig deep when it's all so frustrating, so she just kinda slumps a little.-

SILVAH: Mm. Did ya say some things you regret?

RYAN: -nods slowly, pouting a little.-

RYAN: yeah. so much stupid shit.

RYAN: im trying to fix things but... i dont know--

RYAN: i dont know what im doing half the time.

SILVAH: -Pauses for a minuite, and while he's processing all the vibes he's picking up from her he's making himself look busy, which is something he's pretty practiced at by now.-

SILVAH: It's not the easy route. It's easier to keep cuttin out. Start over somewhere where they don't know ya. But that would be a waste in the long run.

SILVAH: If you keep tryin eventually they'll see the effort and appreciate it. Even if you're graspin at straws and you say all the wrong shit. RYAN: -peers up at him, finding that answer... strangely comforting. she gets the sense he understands. maybe because of his own experiences, or just because he's used to dealing with sad sacks like her. it was kind of a cliche. in any case, she's quiet for a moment as she thinks it all over too. her voice is a little hushed when she does speak, a bit embarrassed by admitting the things she is... but knowing full well she needs to say it.-

RYAN: i feel like my efforts are pushing him away.

RYAN: alienating him cuz he feels guilty too. hes always stuck in his own head.

RYAN: i think he feels like hes not good enough. but i dont really get it. im the one who kept running away.

RYAN: he never did anything wrong. at least i dont think he did. it just-- a shitty time. and i dunno if its ever gonna pass so long as im around to remind him that-- fuck.

RYAN: -puts her head in her hand with a sigh.- sorry im not making sense anymore.

SILVAH: -Frowns as he takes this in, and at the same time takes in extra information. All her good intentions, the desperation that go along with them.- Y'know most of the time tryin to anticipate what someone's gonna do or why they feel the way they feel is real misleadin. Unless you have a real blunt discussion about it, you could never know. You might've fucked up, but it don't mean every bad thing that person's feelin is your fault.

SILVAH: The stuff you can pin down as yours is what you should concentrate on, is what I'm sayin.

RYAN: -peers up from behind her hand, eyes glossy with sadness but... there's some hope too. she laughs a little, trying not to seem too broken up about the stuff going on in her head.-

RYAN: i hear you.

RYAN: i just...

RYAN: wanna know im making someone happy for once.

RYAN: you know?

SILVAH: -She seems so vulnerable, it almost hurts to look. They're barely acquaintances at this point, but he doesn't care, he's gonna lightly reach out and touch her hand with his non robotic one.- You got yourself a super acheivable goal there, blondie. I think you're gonna be ok.

SILVAH: -Backs it up with a warm smile too. Believe him. He belives in you!-

RYAN: -well... it's hard not to smile when it feels like someone believes in you. and for some reason, in this moment she kind of believes it too. she doesn't mind the touch. she welcomes it in fact, feeling a little bit touch starved lately.-

RYAN: ill definitely be okay if i keep coming back for these milkshakes...

SILVAH: Hah! You think I'm gonna let you keep orderin just milkshakes.

SILVAH: -Pats her hand, gives it a gentle little squeeze and then releases her.-

RYAN: -giggles again. what a big softie...- i thought the customer was always right???? rude ass...

SILVAH: -Laughs with her. Huh huh huh.- I'mma personally fight whoever came up with that horse shite. The customer ain't right even half the time, let alone always.

SILVAH: This is the only place in the goddamn world where I control everythin. It ain't a fuckin democracy.

RYAN: -snorts and then full on cackles.- geez!!! then i guess ill have to refer to your expert opinion every day im here. :wink:

SILVAH: Heh heh. S'long as its real food some of the time I'll be a happy clam.

#ryan strider #silvah balila #the silvah dollah #ip log #ic

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somedaypast-thesunset · 7 years

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i’m not really sad or anxious. i’m more or less kind of pissed off. and i wish i had anxiety because in a way being pissed makes me sad because it means my personal patience has run out.

this person is sick and the way they treat me is abnormal to any relationship, romantic or not. it’s very harmful of them to act the way they do and then pull away. its wrong and manipulative and disrespectful. i’m tired. my whole life is built around them and when its not you can tell theyre disappointed and like ‘well fuck u then’.

i do nothing. even if i was asking for money, which i dont, it would pale in comparison to the trauma he causes and he pays to get away with it. he believes people talk shit about him, that no one is trusted - but all theyve heard is these things hes done. when he freaks out and stops talking to me for a few days, for little to no reason. when im blamed for the pitfalls of his life.

he told me it was “not nice” and “not appropriate” to i guess even respond to his message that he doesnt want to be asked to hang out or help and that hes “taking a step back”. like, in no previous relationship id i have to account for the days when my boyfriend is “taking a step back” and no longer exists in my life but teyll be back in three days having done their own thing which includes trolling dating sites and talking to other women and i’ll be asked in back handed ways if i’ve been with anyone else.

my response was that i wasnt about to argue with him and that ive been nothing but appreciative of the help hes given. around noon the source of his stress right now popped up and wante to give hm money so i tried to work that out for him but that was a huge mistake even remotely being involved. i shouldve taken and kept all the weed and stayed quiet. when our mutual friend called again to ask to get a hold of him in the afternoon, i tried to call then texted him to call this guy and he responded “youve already bothered me x amount of times since i asked you not to”

and “bothering” is literally just sendng a text message. i’m not allowed to send even a text message. and if i do, god forbid it’s more than one and longer than four sentences or else ive sent “a wall of text”. like i’m tired of living by arbitrary rules that benefit no one but him. he forces everyone close to him in his life to follow these rules or he legitimately punishes them. but he first will put in just enough time and effort for you to feel like you want to be around him before slowly subjecting you to these rles one by one and telling you everytime by ignoring them you’re disrespecting him when he does nothing but give to you.

i needed a small reminder that this behaviour is abnormal. when i told a friend, she said ‘why would anyone think that sending a message like that would get no response in return? no one would feel okay about that especially if you hold a romantic relationship with this person’

i’m tired of being seen like an inanimate object that he pumps money into to keep around / for maintenence. like i feel like one of his tools. just another tool he has to service and take care of and oh sure he loves his tools but theyre kept on the floor in the garage.i’m not even allowed to be myself with him because he’s forced all of the “myself” out of me. i’m whatever came out of his mold. i don’t tell him half of the shit i would tell someone else, i reguarly choose not to talk to him about things in my life and i dont even speak to him the same way i do other friends.

but he presents, sometimes, the things i want. like maybe even what i want most in life. like dangling a carrot in front of a horse. so because i so desperately want these things - not that i want him, anyone coud fill his shoes, but what he presents - i tend to do more to have them in my life. i put up with being treated unfairly. being belittled. being asked to wait on him hand and foot. perhaps the role has even brought me comfort since i did the same for my mother and perhaps a same sort of resentment was built there too. sure - my mother would “always be there”. an she would “always help” but like .. it had to be the very worst situation and no other option in the world but to ask her to do something. and she would use it - i bought her pants, why doesnt she clean up after me.

but i wanted a mother, you know? i still wanted a mother and a family and i still begrugingly did all the stuff she wanted me to do until i just stopped one day. i say hes alot like my father because he has endearing qualitles of an old man. but he does not share the personality of my father. my father was a strong man emotionally and mentally. he saw some shit and he did not once take it out on the people around him. maybe thats the most important thing my father ever did in his life. he didnt become violent or hold resent towards women or treat children badly. but he had “excuses” to do so. he had the traumas and lonliness and shitty dealings of life.

my mother was coddled, expected to care for her family. but our days were run by her emotional instability. everydays success was based on her mood and how she would lash out on people. by noon i may have had several arguments with her. and she didnt want a kid - but wasnt she a great mother. she hated helping me - but look at all the toys she bought.

i see this sickness in him. what is it? narcissism? borderline? bipolar? does it matter? who cares what its called when it affects all the same. i’m predisposed to being a victim - perhaps they know this and see it. this is all over a garage door. but he wont say that - its about the money, its about his time, its about my lack of job but this doesnt matter until the garage. its “no problem” until the garage. its trapping.

on a strategic level i feel like i should play the game until i can get the money to get a business liscence, which he already offered. i may be able to just help myself with that last boost and it would be a really hard independent road to take but a really respectable one i may proudly suck dick for one last time.

i am everything he wants to be, really. independent, making my own rules, putting up with the people i choose to put up with, bartering services for goods, hanging out with a variety of people doing a variety of activities and being responsible for something people want to be apart of. i dont have to answer to my parents and i have no family responsibility - i could just run.

today is the launch of something ive worked really hard on for the past few weeks. he will forget and ill receive nothing about it. its proof of the insignificance of my life to him. i am trivial. my whole being is trivial. nothing i do is that important. maybe thats my last straw. you know, maybe thats the pinnacle of disrespect for me - all i want is to be acknowledged for something i actually worked on and i’m nothing more than a bag of meat. i have no brain, no concious.

i wanted to cry when a friend took it upon herself to mention my website at a meeting recently. like someone actually saw value in something i do. he shows me photos al the time of the things he builds and i’m supposed to feign interest on a regular basis. i wont even get that.

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brooklyn-penny-blog · 7 years

Text

Me too.

I was 13 when I met him. I was in the 8th grade, my best friend Jessica was a freshman in high school and was dating a sophomore who sang in a pop punk band called Harper's Drive. He wasn't a good singer, even by pop-punk standards, but the mere fact that he was in a band upped his cool factor to about a 9. Harpers Drive was performing in a benefit concert for the high school's marching band, and Jess had invited me along. The show took place in the high school's performing arts center and while it wasn't the first rock show I'd been to, I was in a position where any band performing live might as well have been Green Day.

I don't remember much of the concert, but I do remember that Jess and I were able to go backstage, a fantasy of just about any young girl. I met a lot of local musicians (who may as well have been rock stars to be honest), but one in particular stood out to me. He was just about my height, had spiked up, faded orange hair and I assumed he was about 16 years old. We were in a high school, after all.

Boys didn't pay too much attention to me. I was thicker and curvier than most of the girls in my grade. I had developed early, and while I wasn't overweight, my body appeared to be more of a full-grown woman than a middle school student. I struggled with body-image issues, was bullied over my weight and the fact that I chose a "goth" or "punk" aesthetic rather than the more American Eagle brand of many of my peers. I chose deliberately to be an outcast, and I liked it that way.

He paid attention to me. He commented on my outfit and accessories. I remember I was wearing dickies brand slacks, a thrift store tee, and a rubber wrist cuff with fake rubber spikes. He ran his fingers over them and referred to them as "safety spikes". I didn't necessarily know what it was like to be flirted with, but it seemed to me that he was coming on to me-- and as sad as it sounds, in that moment I felt alive and valid and mature. It was thrilling.

I found out shortly after that he was the drummer for the headlining act. This sent my heart into a tailspin- because this musician, this rock star, had paid attention to me. I could swear that he was making eyes at me from behind his drum kit. This was also the first time I had ever heard ska music. My life was changing that night-- and the entire evening felt... monumental.

Jess and I had been giggling the entire time and after some convincing and a rather impassioned pep-talk, I worked up the courage to rush the stage with a group of fellow squealing teenagers and at the end of their final song I leaned down and kissed the drummer boy on the cheek.

Before the evening ended we had exchanged AIM screen names and I went home, my heart all a-flutter because I had met a boy who was cool, funny, talented, cute, and totally into me.

The following day, I logged on and he wrote to me. We chatted for a moment before he mentioned he was at work. I was confused because normally, after-school jobs for high schoolers didn't lend themselves to being behind a computer screen. Not in 2003 anyway. And that's when I found out that he was not 16, or even in high school. He was 21, and he was at his regular job where he cared for teenagers with disabilities.

He admitted to me that he thought I was 16 (in hindsight, this doesn't make the tale any less squeamish) and when I told him that I was 13 and in the eighth grade he was disappointed because he thought I was "really sexy". To which I replied that I felt the same, and we decided that it was only appropriate that our friendship remain platonic.

There was not one single part of me at this point in my life that realized that any sort of relationship with a grown man in his twenties who had any sort of sexual desire for me, a thirteen year old girl, was safe or appropriate in any possible way. Before I go further, I feel it is imperative to note that 1) at 21, no one should be attempting to have physical, sexual, relationships with 16 year old children and 2) even if this was the case, the moment he discovered I was 13 years old, he should have blocked my username and pretended he never met me. Whatever heartache I may have felt I could easily overcome.

We agreed to remain platonic friends. The two of us often chatting when I got home from school and logged on. After a few weeks, he invited me to help him flyer for his band's next show the following weekend. I felt very cool, being asked by the drummer of my (now) favorite band, to help him promote his upcoming show. I invited Jess and her boyfriend along (the boyfriend had a car) and we all met at the local mall to hand out flyers to the other "cool" kids. After a few hours of passing out flyers, he invited the three of us back to his house which was nearby. The band had built a recording studio in the living room and he wanted to show us. I can't begin to tell you how much this excited me. I felt like I was getting a glimpse into a world where I didn't belong.

I was teased and bullied and felt like a troll at school, but that day I felt like a fun, fearless, beautiful young woman with an all-access backstage pass. The three of us went over to his house, he showed us around, gave us each a beer and invited me back to his room alone.

Jess and her boyfriend were anxious to be alone. The pair had a vibrant sexual chemistry, the kind that can only occur between two enthusiastically hormonal teenagers in young love. And I do not at all hold either of them at fault for the (however tame) indiscretions that followed.

I went to his room. He kissed me, like I had never been kissed before. He lay me down on the bed, lifted my shirt, fondled and kissed my breasts. He stopped himself, told me that it wasn't right and that if we wanted to fool around we had to wait until I was older. Ashamed and embarrassed, I put my bra back on and went back to my friends.

I didn't see him for a while after that, but we stayed in contact via instant messenger. At some point between this and the second offense, I received threatening IM's from his girlfriend at the time (who I didn't yet know existed. She comes back into this later). He assured me she was his ex and that because he and I were "platonic" friends, I had nothing to worry about.

I spent most of that summer visiting my dad in Oklahoma. At the suggestion of the drummer, I went to check out another ska band at a show in Norman. It was there that I met a trombone player named Thom. With an h. Really that's how he spelled it. I don't know how old Thom was, but he was tall, and classically handsome. We flirted and made plans to go on a date a few days later. My sister agreed to help cover for me. We told our dad that we were seeing a movie with her boyfriend so she could drop me off with Thom, and she would come back to get me a few hours later. I was now 14.

The night before the date I was chatting online with the drummer. I confided in him that I was nervous because I really liked Thom and I had never been on a date before. The drummer asked me if I was going to suck Thom's dick. I admitted that I had never done that before, the drummer offered to teach me how to do it. He then went into graphic detail about how to properly give a blow job, continuously referencing his own cock, mentioning casually how he wished he were there with me so he could teach me in person.

The following night I went out with Thom, we went and got slushes, pulled into a parking lot. I sucked his dick. He brought me back to my sister who took me home and I never heard from Thom again. Which was fine. This story isn't about him.

My first month of my freshman year of high school I caught wind that the band was having another benefit concert, and my drummer's band was once again headlining (it turned out the trombone player for that band had a daughter in my school's marching band). Jess and I once again got dolled up and joined the fun. But this time, rather than rushing the stage to give (what I thought was) a 16 year old boy a kiss on the cheek, I wound up backstage giving a (now) 22 year old man a blow job.

A few months after this incident, I was newly single from my first ever high school "boyfriend" (the term is in quotes because really we never made it official, but i loved him, spent the majority of my time with him, and gave him lots of head-- all of which went unreciprocated-- which is beside the point) I found myself always going back to him for validation. Whenever I felt down or like I was worthless or boys didn't like me and never would, I'd find myself chatting with him online. He'd say something complimentary (predatory) and I'd feel better.

Jess and I kept going to his band's shows. We had both grown to truly love ska music, it both lifted us up and made our young hearts soar. But at nearly every show, I would find a dark corner to lure him to so I could suck his dick.

A few months later I received another IM from the girlfriend who had threatened me a year before. She was apologetic and admitted to feeling "crazy" and jealous. She wanted to make things right and knew that I meant a lot to him, so she wanted to get to know me. I thought she was the epitome of cool. She had funky colored hair and an eccentric, pin-up sense of style that I admired and adored. I wanted to be her. She was younger than him, but still much older than me. She was 19.

She invited me over to the apartment that they shared. I told my mom I was going over to another (age-appropriate) friend's house and she picked me up in her silver Volkswagen bug and took me to their apartment on the Westside. We drank beer and played Nintendo as the two of them told me about their non-traditional relationship. The two of them were "open", a brand new concept to me. I had only known about monogamous relationships and could hardly wrap my head around the idea that two people could be together and also be with other people.

After a few drinks, she kissed me. And the two of us made out for quite some time while he watched. They got riled up and led me to their bedroom where they proceeded to have sex with each other while I lay next to them. Occasionally one of their hands would reach over and touch my breasts, a mouth would meet my mouth. At some point I slipped out and waited on the balcony for them to finish. I was still a virgin.

I was curious, because for the past year he had been the only constant. Something about this man made me feel important, and valuable. I believed that I had genuine feelings for him.

I was informed (not asked) that I was the girlfriend of both of them by her in a text message. I had told her that I was so happy we were friends now, and she responded "we are more than friends, you're a girl I'm seeing". I said "what am I to him?" She said "you're a girl he's seeing". "So I'm dating both of you?" "Yes".

I am, at this point in the story, now 15. I have known this man and been intimate with this man for two years. He is now 22. I have just been told by his girlfriend that, even though I considered myself to be heterosexual and had never touched a woman further than kissing that I am currently in a polyamorous relationship with two adults. And I just... went along with it.

Because I was a deliberate outcast, and I suddenly felt cool and special and different and valid and important. I couldn't see what I see now, that I was a strange pawn in their hebephilic sex games. I don't think I was special- I think I was 15 and willing.

I went back over to their apartment a few more times for a few other parties. Occasionally I'd bring a friend with me so as to not completely lie to my mother. Every time I went there I'd wind up participating in kissing and fondling with either or both of them.

The last time I went over there alone, I told my mother I was sleeping over at a different friend's house. The three of us had some drinks and put a movie on. I made the first move on him, kissing him. She became jealous and left in a huff. He tore my clothes off and lead me to their guest bedroom. He took off his underwear and said "are you sure?" And I said "yep".

It didn't hurt. I don't remember if I liked it. When we were done he tucked me in, kissed me on the forehead and went to his bedroom. She came home later, said goodnight, kissed me on the forehead and went to their bedroom.

The following morning she drove me home. I didn't call, text, or reach out to either of them for two months. She texted me a few weeks later and told me she knew he had taken my virginity and asked me why I didn't tell her. That I should always feel comfortable telling her secrets. I told her that I didn't want to date them anymore.

A few months later, we had all decided just to be friends. Their house became the party house for me and my high school friend group. Me, Jess, and three boys would all go over to their house every Friday. He'd buy us all booze. We'd play drinking games and usually all wind up naked, but we'd always be home by curfew.

I slept with him a few more times. Eventually I'd have other boyfriends, and they eventually broke up. He'd still have us over, I'd bring over new friends, younger friends that he would either sleep with or try to sleep with. I felt possessive of him, and would be angry when he wanted to touch other high school girls who weren't me. He once yelled at me and accused me of not wanting him to fuck anyone but me.

I started college and saw him infrequently. He still had parties, there were still teenage girls all over him. We were in contact until he was about 26/27. Eventually it tapered off. I was busy with my life, a live-in boyfriend, school, work at camp. He wasn't a priority for me anymore.

The last major significant interaction I had with him I was 21 years old and was drinking legally in a bar downtown. We ran into each other. It was like two old friends meeting up after "all this time". He was shocked because he'd known me for so long

"Man this is crazy! You're 21 now!"

"I know, right?"

"I've known you for so long, how long has it been?"

"I was 13 when we met so... 8 years?"

"Damn... damn... hey listen, I am so sorry. For everything. The way I treated you was really shitty."

"You know what, its fine. I forgive you"

But... it wasn't until he apologized that I realized he had something to apologize for. And suddenly it all came rushing back. He picked me up when I was 13 years old, fondled me, groomed me, he owned me. And when I reacted in a negative way, he attempted to gaslight me, called me crazy and hysterical and possessive. He took my virginity over beers when I was 15 years old, in braces, after a rousing session of Mario Kart on his fucking GameCube. And I, in the process, was taught that I was only valuable, cool, important, beautiful, worthy, interesting, special- if I was the object of someone's sexual desire.

This has affected me throughout my twenties. It wasn't until two years ago, at 26 that I experienced sexual desire on my end. I had lots of sex between when I lost my virginity until then, but never because I really, truly wanted to. I had sex because I wanted them to like me. I wanted them to value me. I wanted to be important to them. I thought that if I gave them what they wanted, that they would reciprocate with love and affection. That was not the case, so when I was rejected (which was often) I punished and blamed myself. I did horrible things to my body (mostly restricting and purging my food).

On some level I take responsibility for the role I played in these five years of my life. I kept going back to him, I never told him I was uncomfortable or had any inclination that what was happening was wrong. But, I was a kid. I was young, vulnerable, and he was the adult. He should have stopped it before it even began. He took advantage of my naivety, my innocence, my insecurities and used them to take my virginity and continue to commit statutory rape over and over again until I wasn't an option for him anymore.

I am now 28 years old. I remember when I was 21, 22, 23 thinking if I would ever consider someone as young as 13,14, or 15 an option as a sexual partner. The mere thought of it turned my stomach. It felt icky and wrong. I worked with kids that age at the camp in the summer, I was responsible for their well-being. I wondered what kind of sick and twisted shit would have to go wrong in my life for me to do the kinds of things that he did to me. I cannot even fathom.

In recent years I've been involved on and off with group chats with my old buddies from high school. They've said his name. Most of them are still friends with him and see him from time to time. I've asked that when I come home for visits that he not be invited to hang out with us. None of them (the boys, Jessica gets it) understand why. "He didn't rape you." "We were all there, you wanted it!"

I was hesitant to post "me too" because even now, after writing this- I still feel that it is my fault. I feel like I am somehow to blame and that what happened to me "doesn't count".

Let's assume that it doesn't. Let's also assume that catcalls, or being followed home in the rain from the subway by a guy begging me for my phone number doesn't count. I'll tell a much shorter story:

Two years ago I went on a date with a man who I knew was trouble. He was clearly unstable and had reached out to me after years of radio silence after our first date (we drunkenly made out for hours but didn't sleep together) and left me countless drunken voicemails about how I was the one who got away. I agreed to meet up with him, had one drink and felt drunker than I'd ever felt. The majority of the night I remember in vague, hazy vignettes. I totally blacked out as we got into a cab and I came to in someone's front yard with my tights and panties around my ankles. He was pulling on his pants. I told him I needed to get home. He told me I was home. I told him I lived in Brooklyn. He told me we were in Brooklyn and kept trying to convince me that we were at my house. I finally managed to tell him my address and he helped me get in a cab and take me to my actual home. He helped me up the stairs, kissed me goodnight and left. The next morning he told me that we had sex and it was my idea, he couldn't have said no if he wanted to and that he hopes I remember it next time. I have no evidence of whether or not there was something in the one drink I had before the world started spinning. I know I had at least two more drinks that night. But I do know that I was in no position to consent to any sexual contact that night. I blocked his number and social media channels. I stopped dating.

Whenever I start to think that mine don't count, I have to think seriously-- would it matter if it happened to Jessica? To my sister? My mother? My colleagues or clients? Of course it would. So why should it not matter that it happened to me?

So yeah, I guess, me too.

#me too #trigger warning

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