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sabraeal · 4 years

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Hypewired Unsolved Drinking Game, Rule #2: Shirayuki Despairs Over Obi’s Life Choices

Rule #1

Written for @ruleofexception on the occasion of her BIRTH. I thought this would be more ghost hunting and less metrics, but I should have known I couldn’t resist a premise-building chapter.

[Shirayuki] Have you ever heard of the Gardner Museum Heist?

[Obi] Oohhh.

[Shirayuki] *laughs* What was that?

[Obi] Oh, nothing, nothing. It’s just... I love heists.

[Shirayuki] You love heists? *laughs* No, I take it back, that doesn’t surprise me at all.

[Obi] *laughs* Come on, who doesn’t love a good heist?

[Shirayuki] This one *is* known as the biggest art heist of its kind.

[Obi] Oh ho ho ho. You’re saying all the right things to me.

The thing about haunted houses-- the real kind, not the ones that hire teenagers to wear stage make up and hold fake chainsaws-- is that they’re hard to book.

“Oh, in my hometown, they hired ex-convicts,” Obi says in the same casual way he says anything vaguely terrifying about his childhood, “and they gave them real, working chainsaws.”

Her jaw drops, face still plastered to her phone’s screen. Soft jazz worms into her ear. “That can’t be true. That has to be a-- a rumor or something.”

“Nah, nah, the farm had a work program with the local prison. I think sometimes they did seasonal work too?” He shrugs. “I don’t know. But it definitely made the hayride more popular. Gave it a real element of danger, you know?”

Shirayuki stares. “And they gave them real chainsaws?”

“Well, they only revved them a little.” He twitches his shoulder, as much of a shrug as he ever gives. “One time a guy hopped on the cart and chopped the bale next to me, but I mean, I probably deserved that.”

She might be sitting down, but oh, she could really do to sit down again. Harder. Mentally. Emotionally. “And you’re sure these were ex-convicts?”

“Yeah, probably.” Not an endorsement ringing with confidence. “I mean, I’m sure they were in for non-violent crimes, at least.”

There are two wolves inside of her, and one of them is pleased to hear about a local business working to place disadvantaged community members, and the other-- well, the other thinks that maybe everyone should be a little more solid on the whole non-violent convictions than they are.

Before she has the chance to suggest it, the phone clicks, and a pleasant female voice says, “Hill House, Donna speaking, how may I help you?”

“Oh, hi, yes,” she fumbles, “I’m Shirayuki calling from Hypewire. We would like to talk about booking your location.”

“Hypewire?” Donna pauses, the good long kind that means she’s probably from a generation that prefers to read its news on paper, and not from a website that has an option to react with emojis. “Oh, did you want to do an article on the house?”

“Ah, something like that.” Obi arches a brow, lips twitching as he crams another Funyon between them. He’s far too distracting to have around while she needs to have thinky thoughts, especially if he’s going to make faces at her. “I’m the producer of Hyperwire Unsolved, and we were wondering if we could possibly do a, ah--” she coughs-- “an investigation? Of the house? For the show?”

“Oh, Hypewire Unsolved!” The woman laughs. “My nephew loves you guys. But don’t you do true crime?”

[Sender]: [email protected] [Recipients]: [email protected] [Subject]: Re: Episode Filming

Thank you for your interest in our venue for an episode. Some of our interns are big fans of your show! However, we have to admit some confusion, as we were under the impression you were a true crime show…

“How’d they get that impression?” Higata grunts, hunching further over his keyboard. His screen in the only light in the editing bay, castling a ghastly glow over his face. “The art department just sent me six different aliens to pick from for the Roswell episode, and now we’re Serial? Come on.”

Shirayuki sighs. “I know. But it seems our more popular episodes are the ones about collar bombers and serial murderers. At least by the metrics”

Higata might only be twenty-six, but he’d be right at home at the VA buffet with the way he grumbles. “You know His Highness over there was talking to me about making true crime and supernatural separate seasons. Something about...keeping views and organizational groups or something.”

“Huh.” She sits back, nibbling on her lip. “It would certainly give me more of a focus each season. What do you think?”

“I guess it’s fine. Two editing credits for my resume for one show’s work is a good deal.” He overlays a shadowy police sketch into the video, shoulders rounded and tense. “What do I know? I just sit in the dark and pick which ghostly visage I want to layer over your audio.”

She leans in with her sunniest smile, squeezing his arm right above the elbow. “And you’re so good at it!”

“I am.” He’s too much of a professional to look away from his work, shifting the same image three pixels over and then three pixels back, but his bicep relaxes beneath her grip. “I am a top tier spooky face picker. All the commenters say so.”

She blinks. “Oh? They do?”

Higata twists in his seat, gaze somehow even more incredulous in the lack of light. “No, Shirayuki, they don’t. But they should.” He gestures to the screen vaguely. “They mostly just talk about how much they want to fuck Obi.”

“OH.” There’s some information she really, really didn’t need. “That’s um, ah--”

“Your job, according to roughly half our fan base.” His mouth hooks into a grin she does not enjoy. “What do you say, Lyon? I think we could break the bank if you kissed him once on camera.”

“I-- I mean--” it’s a ridiculous request, clearly a joke, but her heart is pounding so loud in her ears she can’t hear her own thoughts-- “that’s not really w-what the show is about.”

Higata laughs. “That’s what you think.”

“What does who think?”

Shirayuki jumps straight out of her chair.

It’s not an exaggeration; there’s literal air between her butt and the seat, and when she lands again, the soft cushion makes the most obvious whoosh noise in existence, only worse, since it’s slow too. No obnoxious whoopee cushion womp, oh no, just an endless, air pump whoosssssshhhhhh that’s as blatant as a rattlesnake in the silence.

“Obi!” His lean shadow fills the doorway—wow, is he actually that tall?—and his head tilts, just enough so that his eyes shimmer gold. “I—nothing! We were, um, nothing?”

“We were talking about true crime,” Higata supplies, darting her a pitying look, “and how that’s what everyone thinks we are. Winchester House just emailed back.”

Obi grimaces, teeth flashing white in the dark. “Ah, great. Another one of those.”

“Yeah,” she sighs, deflating into a slouch. “I could talk about Big Foot until I’m blue in the face, but everyone thinks I have nuanced opinions about Jeffrey Dahmer.”

One narrow brow arches toward his hairline. “But you do have nuanced opinions about Jeffrey Dahmer.”

“I just think animal mutilation is probably a sign things aren’t going right in your life and someone should have noticed.” She waves her hands, at a loss. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to explore a supposedly haunted house.”

His lips twitch, right at one corner. “For a skeptic, you’re really into the idea you could see a ghost.”

“Stories are part of the human experience,” she explains primly. “We use them to understand what feels inexplicable. And ghosts are part of how we compartmentalize death.”

“Or they are the remnants of people who died too soon.” Obi pushes himself off the jamb, sauntering over to where they sit. “Or whatever bad juju is left by human misery—hey, that’s a sweet mugshot. Who’s it supposed to be?”

Higata squints. “I keep thinking it might be Shiira? But the cheeks are all wrong.”

“Huh.” Obi leans between the two of them, nose hovering mere inches away from the screen. His arm presses into her shoulder, too warm. “Brecker.”

“Brecker?” Higata tilts his head. “Oh yeah, I see it now. He’s not gonna like that.”

He huffs out a laugh. “Good thing he doesn’t watch joyless tripe like Unsolved then.”

“Yeah.” Higata snickers, raising the opacity. “Good thing.”

Obi settles back on his heels, hand gripping the back of her chair. She dares a glance up, and there he is, watching her with one of those looks she doesn’t know how to read. “Don’t worry, Lyon,” he says, thumb rubbing at the plastic back. “The season’s only just started. Give it some time.”

“I’d love to,” she mutters, tilting her head back, resting it on his wrist. “But try explaining that to Izana.”

[Obi] I’m just saying, there’s no sexier crime than a heist. ...Well, I mean, that doesn’t involve actual sex.

[Shirayuki] *wheeze*

[Obi] You know what I mean.

[Shirayuki] Do I? Am I finding out too much about you right now? Is this how you get seduced at parties? Girls just cornering you and telling you about high-profile robberies?

[Obi] *laughs* This is absolutely not how I get seduced at parties. Unless you’d like to try...?

[Shirayuki] . . .

[Obi] Besides, it’s not like this is just a regular robbery. Heists don’t happen to normal people. Just the rich ones.

[Shirayuki] Well, this *is* a museum. It’s for learning purposes.

[Obi] Oh, like all that stuff actually *belongs* to a museum anyway.

[Shirayuki] Actually...this time it does!

[Obi] Wow, now there’s a mystery I want to investigate.

“We want to capitalize on the energy from this season.”

Izana isn’t a man who lounges; his mesh office chair is relentlessly ergonomic, only a few aggressively rolled lumbar supports away from a torture device. But still, he gives off the energy of a cat lazing in a sunspot, already gotten into the cream.

“Unsolved has always had excellent metrics, but since the premier--” he glances pointedly at Obi-- “they’re unparalleled by any other digital media Wisteria has put out on any of its platforms.”

Obi sprawls in one of the wire-frame chairs Izana has out, far too big for its delicate frame, every inch of him as still as the grave. Except for his one, bouncing knee, practically vibrating as he asks, “That’s...good right?”

“Very good.” Shirayuki may not be a metrics person, but working with Zen gave her more than a passing acquaintance with what success sounds like. “I think he’s telling us...we’re his cash cow.”

Izana’s lips lift into a smirk. “Just so. You’re more popular than Stand the Heat, and that’s saying something.”

It is saying something-- Obi’s show consistently has the most hits and the highest likes-to-views ratio. It’s been the backbone of Hypewire’s digital media section since it premiered last year, and now-- now Unsolved has passed it. If the graph Izana’s laid out is right, they’ve passed it by...a lot.

Shirayuki sneaks a glance at Obi as he leans over, taking in the numbers. She can’t move, can’t even breathe as he stares, eyes rounding as he understands what’s happening.

He rips the paper off the desk, shaking it at her. “Do you see this?”

She blinks. “Y-yes?”

His mouth breaks into a grin, like a Labrador who has found a particularly giant stick. “We’re awesome.”

“Oh,” she breathes, and wow, this is really not the time to think about the-- the Abayan effect, even if that smile makes it extremely hard not to. “Okay.”

“We should have you on the show.” His knee bounces a mile a minute, words barely keeping pace. “See if that makes the ratings draw even.”

Shirayuki stares at him, but there’s no hint of sarcasm, no undertone of agitation. For all intents and purposes, it seems as if he’s just...inviting her on his highly rated cooking show.

That can’t be right.

“Not a bad thought, Abayan,” Izana hums, fingers tapping at the desk. “Turn that in to me with the rest of your proposals for next season.”

Obi grins. “No problem, boss.”

“Wait.” This is all happening too fast; it’s all too much. Three weeks ago she was scrambling for a new co-host, and now she’s sitting next to Hypewire’s media darling, talking about how she needs to be on his show for his ratings. “I don’t-- we shouldn’t--”

“Oh, can you not cook?” Obi smiles, and it’s-- entirely too much. “Don’t worry, Lyon, you’ll be on top when I’m done with you.”

“N-no!” she chokes. “I-- I’m the daughter of a bar! I mean, my grandparents--” ugh, four years to get a journalism degree, and she still can’t word good-- “they owned a pub.”

“Great.” His teeth flash, half-feral. “Then you’ll know how to follow my lead.”

“I think,” Izana says, tipping her a speculative look, “that Shirayuki is less worried about her prowess in the kitchen, and more about what these sort of numbers might mean to a show like Unsolved. Isn’t that right?”

“Ah, I mean...” It’s terrible how good he is at his job. “It’s all so...quick. We’re still editing this season, and already I’m working on the ideas for next one, and I have to not only write scripts but also scout locations, and Higata is already stretched thin--”

“We’ll get you another editor.”

Her jaw drops. “W-what?”

Izana folds his hands, so calm, and tells her, “We’ll get you another editor.”

Shirayuki stares, mouth utterly dry. It had been a struggle to get Higata last season; after Obi had roasted the idea during Pitch Fight, Hypewire’s higher-ups had been loath to put any actual support behind Unsolved. Only his dogged enthusiasm-- and flagrantly working on the project behind their backs-- had gotten him on board after the pilot took off. And now Izana Wisteria was just handing her someone else. Personally.

She reaches down and pinches herself. Yep, this is-- this is real life. Somehow.

“You want to-- you mean that--” she gulps-- “you want to give Unsolved a team?”

He nods, brusque and efficient. “I can get you another researcher as well. Or if the locations appear to be a problem, perhaps a personal assistant?” He lifts a hand, a Wisteria shrug. “Just let me know your needs, and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Unless it’s time, right?” Obi asks wryly. “That’s straight out.”

Izana’s mouth stretches into the barest grin. “The internet is instant, I’m afraid. You have to strike while the iron’s hot. I hope--” he fixes her with a meaningful look-- “we are all able to make the best of this opportunity.”

kisskissfall4luv: does ne1 no f this guy is gonna b here 4 the hole sesson? i luv Zen but i lik the nu guy 2 hes so funny!

kayla0202: I hope he is! I never thought I’d like something as much as Stand the Heat, especially a show about aliens and weird crime, but Obi and Shirayuki make me tune in every week! How long are Unsolved’s seasons again??

unsolvedjunky42: There’s only one other season, and that was 12 eps, though a lot of those were 10 minutes long, and these ones are averaging 17-20min. It looks like Obi Abayan is credited as co-host for the rest of the season: [follow link] So glad he signed on, I thought Unsolved would be dead in the water without Zen but Obi brings a whole new dynamic I didn’t ever realize the show was missing.

zenluvr999: i no were only 3 eps in but i think im gonna need a new name lmao

“Ah, I understand, but we really are looking to--” Shirayuki clenches her stress artichoke, its plush petals ballooning out from between her fingers, and stifles a sigh. “Yeah, I see. Thank you.”

The call cuts off with a beep, too cheerful a sound for its finality. Another opportunity lost. Shirayuki spills over her keyboard, groan lost beneath the function keys.

“Going that well, huh?” Kihal barely spares her a glance, but she does pull aside a headphone; the way editors show they care. “Tell me again how much you love this job.”

“I do love it,” she insists, muffled by the cool metal of her desk. “It’s just...so much work.”

“You know, we could just get that personal assistant.” Higata drops his headphones around his neck, settling back in his chair. It creaks beneath him, protesting his slouch. “I still can’t believe you said no to that.”

“We don’t need another team member.” Shirayuki lifts her head, just barely, to give him a warning glance. “We already have Kihal. That’s more than enough.”

“Really? We still have half a season left to edit, you have another season to write, and you want to tell me we couldn’t use another set of hands?” His eyebrow twitches up toward his hairline. “You just love making all those phone calls, huh?”

“It’s not that.” She rolls back, lifting herself upright. Her spine reminds her sharply that it doesn’t like doing that, that it was having a fine time as she was, but if there’s one thing Shirayuki knows how to ignore by now, it’s a complainer. “Unsolved was my idea to begin with, and if we can’t do the proposal we submitted last week, it should be me who’s to blame for it, not some poor intern.”

“She’s so cute,” Kihal coos across the cluster. “She’s got morals and everything.”

“That’s rich, coming from you,” Higata deadpans. “Didn’t you unionize the Yuris office?”

Her teeth flash predator white between the crimson stain of her lips. “Why do you think I volunteered to work this gig?”

He sighs, long-suffering. “See, this is the problem: the both of you like working too much. It’s getting in the way of having someone fetch my coffee for me.”

Shirayuki levels her best glare at him, the one she’s honed from one too many long nights in the editing bay. “If we had a PA, their job would not be to get you coffee.”

“If we had a PA, their job would be to make these stupid phone calls so Shirayuki can get actual work done,” Kihal informs him with a playful superiority than makes his eyes roll. “Instead of spending all day in a fugue of sadness and misery because no one will take her seriously.”

Shirayuki almost protests—there’s no fugue, and if anything, the rejections just make her more desperate and determined, but—

Her list of high-profile options has been reduced by a half, red lines spiking through some of her best hits with no relief in sight. She is about two seconds from eating her feelings through the oversized cinnamon buns in the company vending machine, and a fugue state is starting to sound like a preferable way to spend her afternoon.

“Ugh,” she decides, and lays down again.

“There, there,” Kihal croons, patting her back across their desks. “Someone will have to give you the time of day at some point.”

“I’m getting calls back.” She rolls over onto one cheek, thoughtful. “People are fans of the show! They just...don’t think we’re serious.”

Kihal scoffs. “About what? Aliens? Ghosts? I’ve been fielding queries all morning from Shuuka asking which direction we want to go for The Alexandria episode.”

“It’s the whole ghost hunting angle.” Higata leans over, liberating her artichoke from her grip, tossing it between his hands. “If I want to be fair, which I don’t, but here we are—it’s a new direction for the show. I guess it could be confusing to people used to our format.”

“I know, I know.” She pillows her chin with her hands, letting out a sigh. “I just wish one of them would give us a confirmation instead of—“ she waves her hand at her empty schedule—“all this.”

“They will.” She doesn’t know where Higata unearths all this unearned confidence, but she’s glad one of them has. “Let this season run its course. Zen was never big on the supernatural episodes, but these ones with Obi...people are definitely going to pay attention.”

He wouldn’t be saying that if he had to suggest waiting to Izana Wisteria. “They’re already paying attention to Obi. I’m always getting asked if--”

“If I’m as handsome as I look on screen?”

The thing is-- she’s not expecting it. One minute she’s sprawled across her desk, and the next Obi’s purr is tickling her ear, and--

“Ow, fff--” his gaze darts over where he clenches his nose-- “fudge. Sicles.”

“Nice save,” Kihal deadpans. “Now if only you could do that in the first minute of every video.”

“What can I say,” he honks, rubbing his nose. “I’m an off-the-cuff kind of guy.”

“You’re a ‘ruining our monetization’ kind of guy,” she shoots back, though she pushes over an abandoned chair for him to sit on.

“Oh, Obi!” Shirayuki yelps, hands hovering on either side of his face as he sits. “I’m so sorry! I was just--”

“Surprised, yeah, got that part.” he lifts his fingers, wobbling the bridge of his nose. “No harm done.”

“Good thing,” Higata mutters, “that face gets views.”

“Oh please.” Obi grins, devastating as always. “Chicks love a broken nose.”

Kihal barks out a laugh. “When it comes to you, chicks love breathing.”

He shrugs, sliding into a slouch. “Still no luck, I’m guessing?”

“None,” Shirayuki confirms. “Though people have been saying they enjoy the new season.”

“The concierge at the Roosevelt says you’re a lot cuter than Zen,” Kihal offers, needlessly.

Obi’s grin widens, wolfish. “You don’t say.”

“Maybe you should start using that Abayan charm to get us some bookings,” Kihal suggests wryly. “Earn your keep around here.”

“Please, I earn my keep. I’m the eye candy.” He winks. “Besides, I’d be happy to, but the big boss over here always tells me--”

“You don’t need to worry about it,” Shirayuki says, “it’s really my job--”

Higata waves a hand, long suffering. “You see the problem.”

“I do.” Kihal settles back. “Well, if you really just need a place...”

“I’ll take anything at this point,” she says to the particleboard of the ceiling. “Even if it’s just a haunted hole in the ground.”

“All right, well--” Kihal grins, sheepish-- “my condo is haunted.”

[Obi] So you’re telling me that this is just some crazy lady’s house, filled with all her stuff?

[Shirayuki] Isabella Stewart Gardner was a socialite and a philanthropist, *not* a crazy lady.

[Obi] Right, okay, but...she did turn her house into a museum, and then made everyone promise not to touch it. Not exactly what I think of when someone says ‘stable.’

[Shirayuki] Because she *curated* it, Obi!

[Obi] So what you’re telling me is that she knew that from forever to the end of time, she would have better taste than everyone else on the planet.

[Shirayuki] *sputtering* W-well--

[Obi] No, no, you’re right. I retract the crazy lady thing. Because that’s *baller*.

[Shirayuki] *laughs* O-obi!

[Obi] I want to be that lady. Like that is shade from the grave.

[Shirayuki] . . . . She also was personally friends with Monet.

[Obi] SEE? Life goals.

“So,” Obi hums from around a dumpling, his chopsticks already rooting for another, “what do you think?”

Shirayuki looks up, halfway through a very un-dainty bite of her own. “About--? Oh! I can’t believe they’re only fifty cents each! Where did you find this place?”

Despite his reputation on camera-- forward-facing, casual, intimate-- Obi isn’t someone who looks at people head-on. She’ll catch a glance sometimes, or maybe a considering look from the corner of his eyes, but for the most part, he’s always moving, eyes darting around to watch who filters into a room, or at the cars moving outside, or staring down the squirrel that likes to scratch at their window.

So when he looks at her, gold eyes trapping her as thoroughly as amber, she notices.

“Well,” he says after a long moment, “when you run a food show, people do give you some hot tips. But, ah--” he rubs at the back of his head, ears pink at the tips-- “that wasn’t really what I, ah, meant.”

Her mouth rounds. “Oh.”

His hands raise, chopsticks knitted under his knuckles. “Though I’m glad you like it! It’s, ah, one of my favorite places too. I just thought that you might have some, er--” he grimaces-- “thoughts, about the whole haunted condo thing.”

“Oh! That.” She taps her chopsticks on her plate, trying to gather her thoughts. “I just think...I don’t know. It’s not a bad place to start, but I just wanted...”

She blows out her cheeks on a sigh. “The ghost hunting is a new aspect of the show, and I wanted us to come out strong with an actual location...”

His mouth curls at a corner, too knowing. “And having us just carry around proton packs and talk about cold spots in a friend’s house isn’t really going to do much for our supernatural cred?”

“Yeah.” She slumps against the chair, defeat. “That. But I also feel like beggars can’t be choosers, and no one else is telling us yes, so...”

He nods, mouth pressed into a thoughtful line. “So there’s no rush to say no.”

“Right, yeah.” She glances at him from the corners of her eyes. “How about you?”

Obi blinks, eyes fluttering wide. “Me? This isn’t really my--” he hesitates, mouth working, starting a half dozen words-- “ah, I mean, I think...it’s smart. You’re right, a bigger place will give us more credit, but if one doesn’t come through then we have to start somewhere. Besides,” his mouth tics at a corner, twitching toward a smirk-- “I’ve always wondered whether she’s bikini or boyshorts.”

It’s only when her chin hits her chest that she realizes her jaw has dropped. “We’re not there to look in her underwear drawer!”

“Well, we’re not at work for her to look in my gym bag either,” he replies, sour, “but she did anyway.”

“She already said that was an accident--”

“--a likely story--”

“--That’s not what I meant anyway,” she admits with a huff. “I wanted to know if you were okay with the whole, ah...” her shoulders round, shy-- “metrics thing.”

“Metrics?” His head cocks, quizzical, but then-- “you mean, the stuff Izana showed us weeks ago?”

“Two weeks ago,” she corrects, heat flaring on her cheeks, “and, um, yes. I just...you’re not mad?”

Obi stares. “About what?”

“Unsolved.”

He shakes his head. “You’re...really going to have to be more specific than that.”

“The ratings.” She pokes at a dumpling, miserable. “Stand the Heat-- that’s your baby isn’t it? You pitched it and everything.”

“I...did?” he says, brow furrowed. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“It’s just-- Unsolved is doing better.” It’s not bragging, she knows that, but it feels like it. “And it’s-- it’s okay if you’re, um, upset about it. You’ve been doing this for--”

“OH.” Obi coughs, suddenly looking anywhere but at their table. “No, I really-- you don’t need to worry about that. At all. Please.”

She stares. “Obi, it’s okay. I’m not going to take it personally if you--”

“Kid, please,” he begs, holding up his hands. “It’s nothing. I mean, yeah, if Stand the Heat was on top, I’d be happy. I mean, I was happy when it was on top. But, this is...” his fingers twirl his chopstick mindlessly-- “this is good, too.”

“But--”

“Listen, I know you may find this hard to believe, especially with how we, uh, met, but I wasn’t kidding when I said I was a huge fan of the show. Not even a little. Understated it, in fact.” The tips of his ears flush. “So, uh, it’s kind of cool that I joined my favorite show, and now it’s super popular. That’s sort of the whole fanboy dream, right?”

“O-oh!” She stares down at her hands, willing them to stop trembling. “I, uh...I didn’t...I didn’t really think of it like that.”

“Yeah, well, now you know you don’t have to worry about it,” he says with a laugh. “I’m living the dream here. Not only am I on the show, but I’m more popular than the last guy. And I get to take the cute host out to lunch and call it business. The only square I need to finish fanboy bingo is getting to ki--”

His teeth snap down, so loud she hears the click. “Haah, never mind. Hey look, is that the waiter? Could we, ah, get the check?”

[Sender]: [email protected] [Recipients]: [email protected] [Subject]: Season 3 Hard Proposal

Is there any reason this isn’t in my inbox already?

Shirayuki closes her inbox with a grimace. “Ah, hey, Kihal?”

Her editor looks up, brows raised. “Yeah?”

She licks her lips, bracing herself. “Just...how haunted do you think your condo is?”

#obiyuki #akagami no shirayukihime #snow white with the red hair #my fic #ans #buzzfeed unsolved AU #ghost hunting got pushed back for FREESTYLE FLIRTING #so i'm sure none of you will complain #but also I had lots of thinky thoughts about how i didn't want to push aside the show aspect to do just the romance #since the manga focuses hardcore on her career #listen guys the second chapter of fics is always the hardest because then you're thinking of TONE and OTHER STRUCTURE THINGS #esp since i wasn't sure if i would expand this beyond a one shot #so i had to decided if this was gonna be straight up rom com business #or whether i wanted to be shirayuki making this show work as it sort of grows beyond the two pony operation she had before #and also here is her hot co-host she keeps accidentally flirting with oh no #obviously i'm going the second route here #so ENJOY

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ptergwen · 4 years

Text

4 times peter loved you and 1 time he said it

warnings: angst, swearing, and flash being a dickwad (love him tho)

a/n: i wasn’t sure if i would ever finish this bc i started in march? and gave up but i really like the concept so i made myself get back into it and AHH i’m really happy with how it turned out! fingers crossed y’all like too ahaha. also this is unrelated but send me requests!

to say you and peter were each other’s missing halves would be an absolute understatement. there wasn’t a secret you didn’t share, an inside joke you didn’t have, a text or call left unanswered, or a second you weren’t on the other’s mind.

it had been like that since your first day of freshman year. you took the seat next to peter in first period spanish, and the rest was history.

peter knew you better than you knew yourself. as cheesy as it sounded, it was true. he could guess what you were going to order at a restaurant before you picked up the menu. if you had a bad day, he’d come over to your place with tissues and hugs, without you having to ask. he knew all the little things.

you? you were a peter parker encyclopedia. you watched all his favorite movies so he could rant to you about them, and you’d actually understand what he was saying. whenever he felt overwhelmed by his chaotic life, you found a way to calm him.

you two were soulmates in best friend form.

best friends, nothing more.

♡ 1.

you had an arm around peter’s neck as you picked at some fruit on his lunch tray. his head was resting comfortably against your cheek, whole body leaning on you. impromtu cuddle sessions weren’t unusual for the two of you. they worked in both of your favors. peter was your own personal heater, and you were just really comfortable to nap on, in his opinion.

“are you gonna eat all my grapes? i was looking forward to those,” peter whined, taking one out of your hand. “are you gonna keep using me as a pillow?” you challenged. he responded by moving his head to your shoulder and chewing. “then, yes. i am gonna eat all your grapes.”

“you know what two people who share food are?” ned chimed in from across the cafeteria table. already knowing what he was implying, you sighed. “what, ned?” he cupped his hand over his mouth like he was about to spill the world’s biggest secret. “a couple.”

it wouldn’t be a regular day without ned trying to play matchmaker for you and peter. the idea made peter scoff. “leave us alone, man. that doesn’t even make sense.” “yes it does!” ned nudged mj for backup. she only raised her hands in defense. it was always a hard pass from her on getting involved in these types of things, unless she found a reason to.

“really? how?” you grabbed peter’s milk and took a sip just for the hell of it. he chuckled at that, forgetting he was supposed to be annoyed with you. a bit of milk dripped down your chin in the process. “oops,” you grimaced at yourself and licked it away.

something about the whole thing made peter’s heart clench. it was so... you were so... cute. cute was definitely the word he was looking for. wait, what? that was new. peter had always thought you were pretty and all, but he’d never found himself endeared like this over such a little thing you did. or had he? no. nope. it was ned’s stupid theory messing with him. that was all.

“y/n, dude, everyone knows it’s a thing. like, why else would someone give up their whole lunch? it’s flirting,” ned interrupted peter’s sudden thoughts about your cuteness. the smug look on his face made you want to throw the tray at him.

before you even joined their friend group, ned was on a mission to set the two of you up. peter described you to him and mj as “the actual sweetest girl ever. she makes me laugh a lot. you guys gotta meet her.” mj obviously ‘tsked’ at him, but a light bulb went off in ned’s head. peter was crushing. he just didn’t know it yet.

part of how you and peter got so close was that ned and mj used to back out of group plans. you’d end up hanging out alone most of the time. of course, it was ned’s idea. a successful idea, yes, but neither of you understood the obsession. apparently it was a guy in the chair’s duty to be a good wingman, and you should leave it to him. whatever that meant.

“if i remember correctly, you and your mom went halfsies on a piece of cake at your birthday party last year. what are you trying to tell us, leeds?” mj asked with a smirk. you and peter looked at each other and burst into laughter, ned’s mouth hanging open. the girl could really get someone when she wanted to.

“shut up, you guys! that’s different!” “so is y/n stealing my food and you calling it sharing,” peter made a point of saying more to you than ned. despite his words, he pushed the tray over to you. it was basically yours, anyway.

you thanked him with a pat on his cheek and popped more grapes into your mouth. in that moment, peter decided he’d get you all the grapes in the world if he could. jeez, he seriously needed to reel it in.

ned was only going to keep going now. “see that? peter’s such a sweet boyfriend. isn’t he, y/n?” he cooed and clasped his hands under his chin. you didn’t have the chance to change the topic before flash appeared at your table. he’d probably overheard your conversation. “penis parker is somebody’s boyfriend? good one.”

feeling peter tense up next to you, you put a hand on his shoulder to let him know you were there. you’d been in too many of these situations. the way flash talked to peter pissed you off in ways you didn’t think were possible. he was fine with everybody else, so why did he choose to pick on him? peter was the least deserving person of having to put up with it from anyone.

“just ignore him, okay? he’ll get bored and leave. works every time,” you reminded peter. too uneasy to say anything, he reached back and put his hand on top of yours. he tried to focus on how nice your touch felt instead of the fact that he was about to be humiliated by flash yet again.

“peter could totally get a girlfriend! he has, like, tons of girls after him,” ned attempted to back peter up, pleased with himself. groaning, peter put his head down on the table. he couldn’t bare to watch his friend destroy what was left of his social life. “you’re really pushing this now. stop talking,” mj warned in a whisper yell to ned. that didn’t stop flash from hearing her.

“she’s right. even parker agrees! look at him,” he snickered at peter’s embarrassed state. you’d had more than enough of him at that point. screw the silence. it wasn’t going to cut it for this one. while wingman ned was still making up stories, you tapped peter’s shoulder to find out how he was doing. his head remained down.

“you okay? want me to say something?” “i’m used to it, and no. i don’t wanna make you deal with him.” peter hated putting his issues on other people, but you couldn’t stand another second of listening to the things flash was saying. you cut into an argument between him and ned about peter’s body count. like his was any higher.

“fuck off, flash!” he stopped in the middle of his sentence. “huh?” “i said fuck off. anyone would be so lucky to date peter. you’re probably salty at him all the time because it’ll never be you,” you finally snapped. his tough guy persona faltered for a few seconds at your words, ned and mj taking the opportunity to high five you for telling him off.

peter was glad his head was still down because his cheeks were pinker than he’d like to admit. did you really mean that? would you be lucky to date him, too?

“what are you, president of the parker protection squad? or are you two a thing?” flash quickly recovered. there he went trying to get the last word in. the embarrassment for peter if you denied it was exactly what he wanted, but you weren’t letting him have it.

“ask me again some other time.” you plastered on a shit-eating grin and waved goodbye. unsatisfied with your answer, flash huffed his way back to his own table. after he was gone, peter looked up at you with something you’d never seen before twinkling in his eyes.

“thank you, y/n. you really didn’t have to say all of that.” “oh, no. don’t thank me. i‘d do it for you anytime. i am president of the parker protection squad, after all.” your fake smile turned into a genuine one for him. peter couldn’t help but mirror it.

his was heart doing that thing again. he guessed it was because he loved you so much, but this love felt different somehow. it wasn’t the friend kind of love he’d had for you all those years.

it was the kind of love he saw in the rom coms you made him watch when you got to pick for movie night. cupid’s love was the official name for it. when he put two and two together, the realization smacked him straight in the face. ned was right.

peter was starting to fall in love with you, and there was no way he could stop.

♡ 2.

peter was a workaholic. patrolaholic to be exact, especially when he had a reason. he’d sometimes find himself in a cycle of getting home late and going out early for days on end. he’d gotten used to the sleep deprivation. his grumbling stomach from missing meals wasn’t too big of a deal either. not when he had a city to save.

it was also a good distraction from everything else going on in his life. man, did he need a distraction. after peter came to terms with the fact that he loved loved his best friend, he narrowed it down to two options; telling you about his feelings or taking them to his grave. since the city was so busy, he was thankful he could throw himself into patrolling and not decide just yet.

may would usually only allow peter to patrol on weekends. school existed, and he had to take breaks. peter really wanted to help out more, so he proposed an idea that could potentially let him up it to the full seven days. he had to make it home in one piece every night for a trial week. that would prove to may he could handle it.

ignoring his black eye on tuesday and limp on thursday, it worked out. peter was positive he could finish off the week just fine. may didn’t have the same optimism. she decided that so much as a scratch on friday and it was strike three. friday came, and peter had impressively managed to end the day, like he thought, just fine.

he did one last swing around the neighborhood he was in, then started heading back to queens to gloat to may. on his way, he remembered he had to text you goodnight. he was bound by a pinky swear to you that he would do it every time he finished patrolling.

peter being spider-man was something you figured out only a few months after he got his powers. he technically exposed himself, and you pieced everything together. it all happened when spider-man offered to walk you home from school one day.

the way he rubbed the back of his neck while asking was a nervous habit that was oddly familiar, and urged you to say yes. you also thought it was strange how even though he didn’t ask for your address, he somehow knew where he was taking you. then again, he was spider-man. it was his job to know new york city and the people living in it.

you came to the conclusion you were making things up until he was about to leave. he walked you to the door of your apartment building and said, “stay safe, squirt.” nobody called you that besides peter. he came up with it because he had recently grown a few inches taller and could finally give you hell for being the short one.

needless to say, peter didn’t take off like he was intending to. he realized his slip up as soon as the nickname came out of his mouth. you brought him upstairs and had a long afternoon of questioning, explanations, and making promises.

peter typed out a message telling you he was fine and to go to sleep. as he was about to hit send, he swung too low and smacked his head right into a traffic light. that was what he got for texting while swinging. he could imagine mj giving him one of her famous safety lectures already, but that wasn’t first on his list of worries. he had a throbbing head and may’s third strike to deal with.

crap, may couldn’t know about this. she’d ban him from patrolling probably forever. going home was out of the question, but peter was in desperate need of an ice pack. there was already a bump forming from where the light hit him. his next choice would be to go to happy, only he couldn’t do that because he‘d tell may.

peter’s hands worked faster than his brain, and he started swinging over to your apartment. the overthinking began soon after. nobody wants to deal with a surprise appearance from their possibly concussed friend at 2 a.m. besides, what would he say? he’d barely seen you all week. it wasn’t fair to you, but it was too late to turn back.

peter landed on the sidewalk with an “oof” and crawled up the wall of your building. when he reached your window, he knocked in the same rhythm that he always did. no answer. he knocked louder. no answer again.

seeing as he had no other option, peter had to let himself in. he pushed on your window to see if it was unlocked. thank god it slid up then, but he made a mental note to remind you about keeping it locked another time. he climbed through the window with as little noise as possible so your family wouldn’t hear.

after navigating in the dark, peter pulled off his mask by the side of your bed. he instantly melted at the sight of you. your face was squished into your pillow, hair sprawled everywhere. you’d must have fallen asleep waiting for his text because you were holding your phone. peter was sure he’d never seen something so adorable.

he let himself stand there and watch the peaceful rise and fall of your chest. the bump on his head was no longer a priority. peter was utterly and completely entranced with you. god, why was he acting like this? oh, right. he was secretly in love with you.

before peter could help himself, he brushed some hair that had fallen into your eyes away with his fingers. you squirmed in your sleep, peter pulling his hand back. he was such an idiot sometimes. your eyes fluttered open and landed on him.

“peter? ‘s that you?” you squinted to see in the darkness of your room. he moved closer. your legs dangled over the bed as you slowly sat up. “yeah, it’s me. sorry to wake you.” he went to scratch his head out of nerves, but stopped when he remembered it really freaking hurt right there.

“‘s okay. i was hoping you’d come over soon. missed you all week.” you frowned at the red and blue clad boy in front of you. except for school, you hadn’t seen peter the past few days. “lots of crime to fight lately?” “missed you more, and yeah. been kicking lots of asses.” the awkwardness peter was imaging faded away when he plopped down next to you on your bed.

“how’s your eye doing? and the limp?” you turned his head towards you by his chin. he exhaled in relief. “getting better, i think. now that we’re talking about injuries...” the sleepiness was knocked out of you. you all but leapt to your feet and turned on the lamp by your bed. peter had a feeling you’d slightly freak.

“we’ve been making small talk and you’re hurt? what happened, peter?” “i-i sort of, um, i was texting you and swung into a traffic light.” “oh my god, where?” he pointed at his forehead with a weak smile. surely enough, there was a big bump. you gasped. “please don’t be mad at me.” “i’m not mad at you. just feel bad it was kinda my fault. do you think you have a concussion?”

you weren’t sure what to do beyond the mostly useless first aid videos they played in gym class. being an avenger, peter had had his share of experience with wounds. whenever he came to you hurt, he talked you through how to help him. the most you’d ever dealt with was a few particularly deep cuts. this was not the same.

“i‘m not sure. you could try that finger thing?” he suggested. you crouched down in front of him. “good idea. let’s do that.” as you waved your index finger back and forth and peter’s eyes followed it seemingly well, his mind was elsewhere. he was thinking about crawling into bed with you and sleeping in your arms.

“well, you passed or whatever they say. i’m pretty sure you don’t have a concussion. you’ll heal fast because of... you know.” you stood up and mimicked the way he shoots his webs. peter chuckled quietly. your thumb ran lightly over his bump, making him wince. “how bad does it feel?” “on a scale from one to ten it’s, like, a five and a half.”

although not what you wanted to hear, it was manageable. you hoped so, at least. “i’m gonna go get some stuff. change into comfortable clothes.” “yes, doctor y/n.” peter saluted you. you were happy to see he still felt up to joking around. biting your lip to hold back a smile, you made your way to the kitchen.

peter searched through the spare clothes he’d left here over the years. there were so many, you had to give him a drawer. he changed into pajama pants and a t-shirt, then sat back down criss cross on your bed.

you came in shortly after with a water bottle, two advil, and an ice pack wrapped in a towel. “i was kidding about the whole doctor thing, you know.” “too bad.” you handed him the advil and water. “take these. they’ll help until your magic healing powers kick in.” peter took the pills while you pressed the ice pack to his bump. he took it from you when he was finished.

“is that any better?” “much better. i’m all good. i should probably go soon.” he mumbled, not meaning it but also not wanting to overstay his welcome. you’d already done so much for him. you stopped him from getting up by putting a hand on his chest.

“what? you already changed, and i’m not sending you home to get killed by may. just stay.” “are you sure? i don’t wanna bother you anymore. it was annoying for me to come here so late in the first place.”

a frown set on your face. “peter, don’t you remember my promise?” there was a beat of silence while he thought about it. “that you’d help out with spidey stuff?” “however and whenever i can. i don’t know what made you think differently just now, but nothing’s gonna change that. doesn’t matter if it’s the middle of the night or early in the morning. i’m always here.”

only you could reassure him just like that. peter was really lucky to have you. really, really lucky.

“right. you’re right. sorry for... whatever that was.” “you apologize too much.” you poked his chest to punctuate your statement and switched the light off. “sorry for that, too,” he teased, wanting a reaction from you. “peter benjamin parker, just get in the bed.” “yes, ma’am.” that was enough before you changed your mind and threw him out.

you rolled to lay on the other side of peter. still pressing the ice pack to his head, he laid down next to you. it didn’t take long for both of you to be settled under the covers. “try not to bang into the wall or something,” you joked and pulled your comforter up to your chin.

peter puffed some air out of his cheeks, tugging more of it back. “you can’t be mean and hog the blanket.” “it’s my bed, so i actually can. i’ll hog everything.”

to prove your point, you moved over to peter until there was no room between you. both of you knew it was an excuse to cuddle. he wasn’t mad about it at all. peter opened an arm for you. you curled into his side, letting him hold you close. his whole body relaxed as you hugged him against you. “goodnight, spidey.” “night, squirt.”

♡ 3.

“what does that cloud look like to you?” you pointed up at the sky. peter’s eyes darted around as he tried to find exactly which one you were talking about. there were a lot of them, in his defense. you made a big circle with your finger around the cloud in question.

“the really curvy one. right there.” “kinda looks like a tiger. can we keep walking now?” peter tugged your arm linked in his in an attempt to move you from the spot you’d randomly stopped in. he made a whiny noise when you didn’t budge.

“i think it looks more like a horse, and no. why are you in such a rush?” furrowing your brows at him, you tightened your grip on his arm. “because some people don’t like cloud watching, grandma.” “i only asked you about one! i’m just... trying to get the most out of today.”

with college around the corner, you and peter both had a lot to do and a little bit of time to get it done. your only hangouts had become some shared extracurriculars and weekly study group with your other friends. trying to binge watch your shows together on facetime hadn’t been easy, for one thing. you fumbled to keep your phone up more than you payed attention.

on a more serious note, being apart sucked majorly. it was going to be this times a million when you would inevitably have to split up in a few months. thinking about it for too long usually made you cry.

peter was struggling in other ways. his more than a friend feelings for you were only getting stronger. having all that love and not being able to give it to you was hurting like hell, and he had to just pack everything up and act normal during the rare moments you were together. you were both going through it.

this was the first sunday in what felt like forever that you and peter were both free. you decided that the nice weather called for a meetup at central park. so, there you were, arm in arm on your afternoon stroll.

“don’t say it like that, y/n. you’re making me sad.” peter let out a breath as you rested your head on his shoulder. “that was the point.” you started walking again, peter following next to you. he kicked at pebbles while you smiled up at him. that made him smile at his feet. you were getting really good at making him flustered.

“so, did you finish that pre calc packet?” peter asked to distract himself. you lifted your head off his shoulder with a groan. “peter, we’re not talking about school for once. let’s talk about literally anything else.” “like what?” you were about to make a suggestion, but something caught your attention.

you raced over to a swingset, dragging peter along with you before he could realize where you were taking him. you stopped in front of it and threw your hands up to present it to him. he let out a breathy laugh. “when was the last time you went on one of these?” you asked, taking peter’s arm again. peter shook his head. “way too long ago.”

with a smile, you walked him over and took a seat on one of the swings. peter sat on the one next to you. you spun around in a circle to see how much you could twist the chains, peter laughing. “y/n, what are you doing?” “having fun. you should try it sometime.” he backed up to get himself started and grabbed his own chains. “i do have fun. it’s just not in the ways you think.”

you untwisted yourself to watch peter. “so, how?” “well,” he started going higher, “i like learning about stuff, even the things we have to in school.” “everybody knows that. that’s the first thing i thought of.” you did know everything possible about him.

everything except his new feelings for you, but this wasn’t the time for him to blurt that out. he was still figuring out when or if he should.

“guess i’m not gonna say i like movies, either.” “singing?” you were swinging next to him, turning it into an unspoken competiton for who could get the highest. peter slowed down a bit since he’d had a head start. “i suck. the only person who’s allowed to hear me is you.”

“it’s possible to suck at something and still enjoy it.” the breeze blew your hair around, peter seeing it from the corner of his eye. he’d always loved how carefree you were around him. it rubbed off.

“remind me to force you to do karaoke one day.” “you’re so annoying.” that motivated you to kick off harder on the ground. peter huffed and tried to catch up to you. “don’t be mean to your only source of fun.” if that wasn’t true, he would’ve came up with a comeback.

the only time peter remembered to relax was when he was with you. it was usually because you reminded him. he skidded to a stop on the swing and looked up at you.

“why’d you let me win? was that too mean?” you looked over your shoulder. “nah, i just got tired.” “oh. we can do something else now. catch me?” “sure,” peter chuckled and got off the swing. he stood in front of you on the grass and waited for you to get lower. you clenched your teeth into a nervous smile.

“ready?” “ready.” swinging towards him, you jumped off and expected to land in his arms. you ended up completely on top of him instead.

the wind was knocked out of both of you, but peter had it worse because he broke your fall. your hands were on his shoulders and one of his was around your lower back. neither of you realized the position you were in. you were too busy trying to breathe again.

“god, that hurt.” “my bad,” peter mumbled. in any other circumstance, he wouldn’t be complaining about this. “i should’ve warned you or something,” you dismissed him.

you were still hovering over peter, your lips dangerously close to his. he could’ve sworn they almost touched. that was when you got off of him. he only forced out a laugh. nothing ever went his way. you offered him a hand, oblivious to his inner conflict. peter took it and pulled himself up, falling into step next to you as you headed to another path.

that could’ve been a chance to make some sort of move, and he blew it.

♡ 4.

it hadn’t been easy for peter to move on from that day. his mind kept replaying the split second you almost kissed on an endless loop, and all he could do was come up with what he should’ve done in the moment.

things were getting to a point where he had no clue how to act around you. being your friend was hard, but becoming your boyfriend would be that much harder. his stupid feelings put him in an awkward place, and he was afraid you were starting to realize. he couldn’t lose you altogether.

you asked peter to meet you for coffee after school. it was this small place in between your apartments you’d both been to once before. they had really good cookies and an overall cozy feeling you liked. peter wasn’t sure what this was all about.

were you going to confront him? did ned say something? maybe it was a mistake to confide in his most gossipy friend about how he felt.

with a headache from stress and a heavy backpack hanging off his shoulders, peter walked into the café. he spotted you at a table near the window. you’d already taken the liberty of ordering, two drinks and a chocolate chip cookie waiting there. you looked up from your phone when peter pulled a chair out.

“hi.” you gave him a small smile and put your phone down. “i already got everything.” peter shrugged off his backpack with a grin. he sat down facing you. “thanks. sorry i’m kinda late. i had to stop at my locker.” you usually met him there. come to think of it, why hadn’t you today? you pushed peter’s drink over to him. “you’re fine. i came here early to get us a table, anyway.” phew.

peter bent the straw to his iced macchiato and took a sip. it made him feel grown up, casually drinking coffee with you over a boring conversation. adult life must’ve sucked. “so, how was the rest of your day?” he asked to fill the silence. you only had two classes without him after lunch, so that was a dumb question. he’d never had so much trouble talking to you.

“eh. betty fell asleep on me during this cold war documentary we had to watch.” “didn’t she say american history is her favorite?” you broke off a piece of the cookie with a laugh. “not after that. what about your day?” the light from the window was shining directly on you, blocking out everything else from peter’s view. he wanted to tell you how beautiful you were so bad, but that would be creepy.

you took a bite of your cookie and raised an eyebrow. he was staring. “uh, nothing interesting. i’m gonna patrol a little bit later.” peter sipped his drink again. you clicked your tongue and let out a breath. “that’s all you do these days.” he knew you were catching on to how off he’d been. what was he supposed to say? it would’ve helped if he’d prepared a few excuses.

“just trying to help out while i’m still here.” that was a half truth. “yeah, but you should still take some time for yourself.” you ripped open your straw wrapper and blew it at peter. he caught it just before it hit his face. rolling your eyes, you put the straw into your drink. “i hate your reflexes sometimes.” he shrugged one of his shoulders casually. “jealousy is a disease.”

neither of you said anything for a few minutes. you stared out the window while peter finished the rest of the cookie. he could tell something was on your mind. whenever you were deep in your thoughts, you sort of zoned out like this.

he was too nervous to ask you what was wrong because of the conversation you just had. it sounded like you had already considered he was being distant before today. his feelings aside, he needed to reassure you. that was more important.

“y/n?” you turned your head to look at him. “yeah?” peter’s gaze shifted from you to his thumbs twiddling in his lap. “i know we’ve both been really... busy lately, but i’m still here. don’t forget that.” a hint of a smile played on your lips. you would’ve hugged him if you could reach. “thank you, peter. i kinda needed to hear that.” he nudged your leg under the table. “of course. hey, you wanna come with me tonight?”

a couple of hours later, you were in peter’s arms on a rooftop that was much higher up than it looked. he insisted on taking you for a swing so you could get the full experience. he’d been trying to get you to do this for the longest time, so he wondered what made you agree today. you wanted to find out what was so enjoyable about it.

“i trust you, but you’re not gonna drop me, right?” your legs were around his waist, and he had one hand supporting you by your back. that wasn’t terrifying at all. you grabbed peter’s shoulders, the idea of it making you nervous. he wrapped his arm tighter around you.

“oh my god, no. i can always web you back up.” “peter! that’s not funny.” even behind the mask, you could tell he was smirking. “you’re always safe with me, squirt. don’t worry.” you brought your arms up to loop around his neck.

“i feel better now.” “good. i’m gonna jump when we get to the edge, okay?“ your whole body stiffened up. peter could sense it. as excited as he was to share this with you, he didn’t want to make you feel pressured. “or we don’t have to do it.” his voice was quiet. you tried to relax in his hold. “i’m just gonna close my eyes. i think that’ll help.” “we’re about to find out.”

peter started walking towards the edge of the building with you holding on even tighter to him, your eyes squeezed shut. he kept finding himself in situations where he was close to you in the ways he’d been wishing for, but never for the same reasons. it was bittersweet.

he bit down on his lip and aimed his free hand at a building. you squealed when he leaned back. “i’m jumping now,” he prepared you, and before you could respond, you were in the air. you hid your face in peter’s chest the second you felt yourself pretty much flying.

“what the fuck, you like this?” you had to yell so he could hear you. peter shot another web to keep swinging. “it’s really not that bad! try looking up!” he shouted back, clearly amused.

grip tightening around his neck, you slowly pulled your face away from him. he kept you close as he swung. you somehow convinced yourself you weren’t going to die by looking at something besides peter. your eyes landed on the sky behind his head.

the sun was almost completely set, deep pink and orange merging together against the glowing lights of the city. you were finally understanding why he liked this so much. it was beautiful.

peter peeked at you for a second to check on you. he swore his heart was going to explode out of his chest. the look of adoration on your face, it was even better than the view. it was the view. the little moments where peter got to see you this way made him realize how in love with you he really was.

“this is... wow. i get it now,” you laughed in disbelief, watching as the city whirled past you. peter smiled so big it hurt. “pretty awesome, huh?” one of your hands slid back down to his shoulder. “take me with you more often.”

♡ 5.

peter licked his lips out of habit as he held the door open for may, who was following behind him with a look of pride. he was about to graduate high school. the ceremony was being held in a really nice stadium-like place. trying to find it added minutes on to the parker tradition of being late to everything important.

peter wasn’t as concerned with his tardiness as he was with finding you.

while he tossed and turned in bed the night before, he went over his whole school year in his head. that meant little things and big things. he was starting to drift off until he remembered a conversation with ned a few weeks back. they decided on a deadline for peter to tell you about his feelings, and it was before graduation.

they chose it because if peter got rejected, he’d be over it by the time college started. that was the goal.

it wasn’t that peter had changed his mind. it was that he completely forgot. he didn’t have a solid plan for what he should do. these things needed to be decided way in advance. he ended up pulling something together last minute because it was you. plus, this extra pressure gave him the push to go through with it. somewhere between steps seven and eight, he passed out.

may rushed him to get ready because he’d slept past his alarm. the whole morning was a mess, and he had at most fifteen minutes to confess his love to you by the time he got there.

“you should go make sure you’re marked here. i’ll see you after. love you.” may pressed a kiss to his cheek and half-jogged to the auditorium for a seat. he squeezed her arm and headed off to check in. your whole grade was already lined up along the walls for what looked like miles. the deal was to tell you before graduation. he still had about ten minutes.

peter walked past hundreds of students with his heartbeat thumping in his ears. everyone was in alphabetical order, so it didn’t take too long to find you. relief washed over you when you saw peter. you were worried he wouldn’t show up at all. his cap was in his hand, hair getting tangled from running his fingers through it. he looked at you with pleading eyes.

“finally, i’ve been trying to call you all morning. where were you?” your tone was dripping with concern. “i overslept. there’s something i gotta tell you, y/n.” he gulped. you smiled in a way that was kind of pitying. “we’re about to start going inside. i- you have to wait, pete. go get lined up.”

this wasn’t how it was going to end. not again.

he looked around to see who was watching, then he grabbed your wrist. “peter, what are you-“ “just come with me really quick.” despite yourself, you let him lead you down the hallway. you dodged a couple of teachers having a conversation and went into a bathroom that was vacant by some chance. he let go of you after the door shut. you stood behind it while he walked over to a sink.

it was making you anxious to not be out there. you could be late. peter was the same way when it came to school, so you knew this had to be pretty serious. you gave up the battle with yourself and made your way over to him. he was looking at himself in the mirror, trying to get a stray curl back in place.

“let me help.” you stood next to him. he turned to face you, that same look of urgency still in his eyes. you used two fingers to brush through his hair. there was so much gel that it was wet enough to mess with. you smiled a bit and took your hand out of his hair. his hand was gripping the sink.

“you look good, pete. you smell good, too.” “so do you.” his voice was lower than usual. you flattened out the material of your blue gown. “thanks. so, talk to me. what’s up?”

the question was so simple, but way too many answers were running through peter’s brain. he wasn’t even sure he’d have enough time to explain everything now. this was why he needed a written out and carefully crafted plan.

but, like he said to himself last night, this was you. his best friend in the entire world and any other that might exist. the person who’s been there for his most embarrassing moments, and who’s been responsible for some of his best ones. if he couldn’t finally say the three words he’d said to you so many times before, what was the point?

his fingers drummed a steady rhythm while he mustered up the last remaining bit of courage in him. you watched him expectantly, waiting for him to say something. “just, um...” he was stalling. he pulled his hand off the sink. “i... love you.” peter only glanced at you for a second, too afraid to see your reaction. “i love you, too. is everything okay?” his heart sank. you thought he meant it in the friend way.

that was what he got for being so terrible with words.

“no, y/n. not like that.” he blurted. you were lost. peter pressed his back against the wall and sat down. confused and equally worried, you sat next to him on the floor. “then what do you mean? you’re scaring me.” he checked the watch may made him wear to see how much time was left before graduation. four minutes. he really should’ve woken up on time.

“we have to get back in line soon. i don’t wanna miss-“ “i love you, y/n. i’m in love with you.” a weight that had been on peter’s chest for months was lifted just by saying it. you squinted your eyes at him, but said nothing.

“i’ve been trying to tell you for a while, and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same. i just had to say it.” “fuck, are you serious?” you sounded what peter could only describe as disappointed. yeah, it was unrequited. here came a summer of crying. “i was gonna tell you first.”

peter’s breath hitched in his throat, and he swore you could hear it. he was so sleep deprived that it felt like he was hallucinating. you shook your head as heat came to your cheeks.

“how long have you...” peter trailed off, an eye crinkling smile interrupting him. “that day we went for coffee. something clicked, so i thought for a while and figured it out. i think i’ve loved you for a really long time.”

you inched closer to peter, just barely resting your head on his shoulder. for once, you felt like the shy one. he put his hand on top of yours. his thumb traced over each of your fingers. “i’d ask you out, but you know. we don’t really have time.”

“peter, it won’t take that long.” you giggled. he squeezed your hand in his. “hm. y/n, would you wanna go out with me after this?” you thought about teasing him for it, but he was right. you had to go. that was the friend still in you. “i’d love to go out with you, peter.”

with that, you both jumped to your feet and ran out of the bathroom. you were still holding hands, and a few classmates made faces when you rushed past them to get to your spots. you exchanged one last smile with peter before lining up.

the person in front of you said everybody was looking for you two. honestly, you didn’t care all that much. you were too excited for your date later. peter already knew he’d be checking his watch throughout the whole ceremony.

it was a best friend and soulmate thing.

#tom holland #peter parker #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland fic #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland writing #spiderman #peter parker imagine #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #peter parker angst #peter parker fluff #peter parker smut #marvel #mcu #tom holland oneshot

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songbirdsingingthings · 4 years

Text

Girls Day - Shoto Todoroki

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Kohei Horikoshi

Work for you this week was grueling to say the least. Your agency had assigned you to lead a coalition of heroes to take down a group of villains holding hostages, which for you was no problem. What was a problem, however, was the fact that some of the heroes in your group got sloppy which led to some of the hostages getting injured. Thankfully none of the injuries led to fatalities, but a couple came pretty close. This stuck you working in your office for four days straight writing up paperwork and detailing exactly how everything happened. You knew you had no fault in this, and so did your superiors, but you were technically responsible for those who did make mistakes.

After you finally finished dotting the last i and crossing the last t, you scanned and faxed the documents over to your higher ups, stuffed any necessary paperwork that involved other agendas into your work bag, and finally, finally, turned off your laptop. You took a deep breath and ran a hand through your hair, but stopped halfway when you got a call on your cell. You see your good friend, Ochaco Uraraka, soon to be Ochaco Midoriya, is the contact listed as calling.

“Hey Ochaco, what’s up?” You asked, fatigue clear in your voice.

“Hey Y/N! Nothing much, I was just wondering if you were free tomorrow! I was thinking of having a girls day - you, me, Momo, Tsu, Mina, Jirou, and Hagakure! You in?” Relishing in the idea of a relaxing day off, a smile spreads across your face.

“Hell yeah I’m in. Where are we all meeting?” You say as you simultaneously begin to shut off the lights in your office.

“Well, those new outlet malls just opened up, I was thinking of heading there! There’s sure to be a lot of cute things, maybe you could get something for a date night with Todoroki!” You blushed lightly as she mentioned your boyfriend’s name and rolled your eyes.

“Yeah, well, we both have to have time off for a date night to happen in the first place. You know both of us well enough to know that we’re workaholics.” You joke. It was true to an extent, though. Both you and Shoto were busy people whose work schedules, more often than not, didn’t line up. The two of you made it clear to each other when the relationship started that you couldn’t really get mad at eachother for occasionally canceling dates or having dinner late. The life of a hero was tough and erratic - you couldn’t really count on when a villain was going to strike.

“If Shoto Todoroki sees you wanting to have a date night, he’s going to make it happen. Add a fancy outfit to that? Girl, you’re set.” You laugh at Ochaco’s statement and lock your door, making your way to the elevator. You give parting smiles to the people still working at the desks on the main floor and a quiet wave to your receptionist. You continue to chat with Ochaco about fun ideas for the day tomorrow like where to eat, if you were going to get your nails done, and maybe heading to the brand new spa.

“Oh, that just sounds like heaven. I’ve been dying to get a massage - I’ve been stuck at my desk for the past few days and my shoulders are absolutely killing me.” You open the big glass doors that belong to your agency, finally making your way outside to where a certain red-and-white haired man stood waiting with a bouquet of (your favorite flower). Your face immediately softens and you give him a giddy smile. “Hey, I’m gonna have to call you back. I can’t wait for tomorrow!” You and Ochaco say goodbye and you hang up.

“Who was that?” Shoto asked, an eyebrow raised.

“Ochaco,” you respond as you stuff your phone into your coat pocket, “the girls and I are going out for a girls day tomorrow.” you announce happily, leaning into Shoto to give him a quick kiss. You trade your bag for the flowers, at his insistence, and take his free hand in yours.

“That’ll be nice - you deserve a nice day out.” Shoto says, rubbing his thumb against the back of your hand. You hum in response and smell the flowers, sighing at its aroma.

“What about you? Do you have to go in tomorrow?”

“Yeah, but it’s a short day for me,” he says, “just finalizing some recruitments for internships.” You smile at his words.

“It’s so great that you're doing that Sho,” you say, “I remember how happy I was when I got to go intern for Hawks. I probably didn’t stop smiling for weeks.” Shoto chuckles at that.

“Yeah I remember. You were practically buzzing with excitement.” Recollection of another memory crosses his mind which makes him laugh harder.

“What?” You say, grinning.

“I remember you calling me and telling me how Tokoyami basically had to shut you up because Hawks was too nice to tell you to stop talking when you were on a mission.” At this point he was cackling. You laugh with him and swat him with the flowers causing some petals to fall away.

“Ugh that was so embarrassing,” you say, watching Shoto wipe a tear that had escaped as he was laughing, “the hue of my face was practically identical to your red hair.

The drive back to your shared apartment was full of laughter and more memories from your time at UA. When Shoto finally confessed, when your relationship became official, and all the silly moments in between. You finally arrive home and the two of you decide to have leftovers for dinner and watch a movie on the couch. You were so perfectly happy at this moment. You and your boyfriend, unwinding at the end of the day. The fact that you were so comfortable with living with each other now that you could be slouched on your couch, eating leftovers right out of the tupperware, and watching a stupid rom com on T.V. .

Finally it was time to go to bed. Your eyes were already shut by the time Shoto finished washing up and you feel the dip in the mattress beside you. It was quiet as you were wrapped in his arms. Well, quiet until Shoto nudged your shoulder with his chin.

“Take my credit card when you go out tomorrow.” He says quietly, pressing a kiss against the back of your neck.

“Shoto Todoroki, I will do no such thing.” You mumble, eyes still closed.

“Please?” He asks quietly, making you melt a little, “I want tomorrow to be completely relaxing. I know you credit yourself as a smart shopper, but I want you to just spend whatever you want on anything you want.” He says as he nuzzles you.

“Sho, I make almost as much as you - I can go shopping with my own card.” You respond. However, his next few words make you agree rather quickly to using his.

“The one I’m giving you is tied to my father’s bank account.”

“...Okay deal.”

By the time you wake up the following morning, Shoto is already gone. You stretch your arms and back and groan. You push the stray hair in front of your face behind your ear and see a little note next to a danish and a silver credit card.

“Breakfast for you, my love. Have a great day. Also, I booked a reservation at that fancy restaurant in town that you like for 7:30 p.m. . Go crazy with the card, my father won’t even notice. Love, your Shoto.”

Your heart always flutters when he writes you letters and signs them with “your Shoto”. It’s a sweet affirmation that you have his heart. You nibble on the danish as you scroll through messages on your phone, the most recent ones from Ochaco and the girls.

Mina: We’re meeting at the outlets at 11:00 a.m. right?

Ochaco: Yup! Get excited!

You eventually roll out of bed and stroll into your closet, looking at the array of clothes hanging up. You decide on a casual yet chic outfit and get dressed. You grab the coffee waiting for you on the counter in the kitchen, yet another gift from shoto, stuff Endeavor’s credit card into your purse, and make your way to the outlets by taxi. When you finally get there, you see that the whole group is there. You thank and pay the driver quickly and rush out to meet up with your friends.

“Y/N!” they all say, giving you a big hug.

“Hey guys! Wow, it’s so great to see all of you here together - I can’t remember the last time we all met up!” You say, grinning. As a group you all make your way into the mall, stopping by some high end boutiques and designer stores.

“How’s the fiance?” You ask Ochaco, wiggling your eyebrows. She gives you a smile as she looks through some of the skirts hanging on the rack next to her.

“Oh, Izuku’s great. Couldn’t be more excited about the wedding, if I’m honest.” She says giggling. The two of you talk about the wedding planning and everything for a bit, listening to Ochaco gush about how involved Izuku is with the process.

“What about you Y/N? Any wedding bells in your future?” Mina says, popping into the conversation. You blush and try to make yourself look busy by inspecting the hem on a shirt very carefully.

“Oh, I don’t know. Don’t get me wrong, Shoto and I are going super well right now, it’s just that the both of us are so busy. I always thought that we would get married but I don’t really know about how he feels about it.” The girls quirk their eyebrows at this, confused as to how the two of you hadn’t had a conversation about that yet. Quickly, you clear everything up. “I just don’t want him to think of his parents’ predicament - I mean that was his first view on marriage, and I know that he knows that that’s not how marriage works, but I feel like it might be a touchy subject.” The girls nod and give you reassuring smiles.

“Oh Y/N, you have got to try the dress on. I mean, it’s made for you.” You hear Momo say. You follow her gaze to a mannequin and couldn’t even try to hold back the gasp that left your mouth. It truly was beautiful. The dress was navy in color and was clearly made of an expensive material. The sleeves, which were long sleeves, were also sheer and dotted with small pearls. On the mannequin as well were matching shoes and a bag. You just couldn’t keep your eyes off of it. It was so expensive, in fact, that you had to ask the store manager directly to go into the back and grab you your size so that you could try it on. You had to say, when you put that dress on, you felt like a million bucks. Momo was right, it really was made for you. Sliding the curtain back so that the rest of the girls could see, you didn’t even try to hide your smile as you saw the girls’ reactions.

“Y/N L/N, if you weren’t already taken I would pounce on you myself.” Mina says, making you laugh. You get similar compliments from the rest of the girls, making you smile, and taking the dress and the accessories up to the register. The woman there kindly wraps the dress, shoes, and bag carefully in tissue paper and places the three items into a pretty shopping bag. You had fun during the rest of the day, eating lunch, getting a mani-pedi, and a massage, but you couldn’t contain your excitement at the thought of wearing that dress to yours and Shoto’s dinner date that evening.

After your busy day of shopping, you immediately run home to shower. You had about an hour to wash your hair and body, making sure to shave your legs so that you looked totally put together that evening. You manage to do your hair in your favorite formal style, slip on your dress and shoes, and swing the small matching bag over your shoulder. You put on a tiny bit of make-up, just a light coat of mascara and a sheer layer of lip gloss. You look at yourself in the mirror and almost explode. You even had to admit it to yourself. You. Looked. HOT.

You finally make your way to the restaurant and ask the hostess at the front to direct you to your table. She led you to where Shoto was sitting, looking at the menu. As soon as he registers people coming towards him, he looks up but almost chokes. Seeing you in that dress almost made his eyes pop out of his head. He couldn’t even form a coherent thought as he mindlessly thanked the hostess and watched you sit down across from him. Smirking, you gently wave a hand in front of his face.

“Earth to Shoto! Is someone in there?” You said, giggling softly. The only thing Shoto could say was something that he had been thinking about for the past two years non-stop. With no filter and no reason to stop himself, he made that thought known.

“You wanna get married?”

#todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki x y/n #todoroki x reader #shoto #shoto x reader #mha x y/n #mha imagines #mha x reader #mha #shoto todoroki #mha fluff #bnha x reader #bnha x y/n #bnha shoto todoroki #fluff #shoto fluff #todoroki fluff #todoroki x reader fluff #shoto todoroki x reader

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johnsamericano · 3 years

Text

𝓓𝓪𝔂 10:

кιм נυиgωσσ

23 days of NCT masterlist.

taglist: @notbeforelong @silent-potato @whathamelon @unknown5tar @ajhdr @mrcarbonatedmilk @curieouscapt

warnings: unprotected sex (reader’s on the pill), y/n is kinda odd but in a good way, thigh riding (? Sort of.

“Please, Yuta. I need you.” You pleaded, falling onto your knees as you held onto his hand.

“Stop, people are watching.” He pulled you up, slightly vowing to the students staring at the little scene. “I’ve already told you I’m too busy with my own projects.”

“Yuta.” You whined, feeling like you were running out of options.

“I have a couple friends that might be willing to help you, but I can’t promise anything.”

As expected, all of them rejected you. Everyone was too caught up with their own work to care about yours. But one magnificent day, you found your muse. You met him at the cafeteria, he was simply eating pizza, yet he looked like a model.

He pretended not to acknowledge your piercing gaze, but as you started walking to his table he couldn't help but blush, playing anxiously with the pages of his textbook. Why was the goddess of the art department walking towards him?

“Hi, I'm y/n.” You casually sat in front of him, extending your hand towards him as if this wasn't the first time you'd seen him.

“I’m Jungwoo.” He was literally the epitome of cuteness, his pretty cheeks tinted pink and his brown locks casting shadows over his forehead.

“What’s your major?” You rested your chin over your palms, eyeing the book on the table.

“Mechanical engineering.” He surely didn't look like an engineer, but that sort of made him even more attractive.

“That's cool. So listen- wait, before that, can I grab a French fry? I'm starving.” He nodded, his eyebrows knitted together. “Thank you.”

You chewed on the savory fry, moaning at the flavor.

“So, what were you saying?”

“Oh, right!” You cleared your throat. “So for my final project, I have to paint a human portrait, but it turns out, none of my shitty friends wants to help me.” He couldn't help the small laugh escaping his lips. “Unbelievable, right? So I had no other choice but to hunt down the perfect muse by myself. I was about to give up just when I saw you, sitting here all by yourself like some mysterious rom-com guy.”

“Do you want me to be your muse?”

“Well since you're offering, I'd be more than happy to paint you.” He was about to object, but you resumed your nonstop chatting. “Of course, I’d pay for your time, not too much though, my part-time job doesn't pay that well.”

And that's pretty much how he ended up meeting you every Tuesday, sitting for two hours straight while you painted his gorgeous face. The mood was always cheerful with you around, always making small talk and provoking some smiles from him. He got to know you better during the month you spent together. Jungwoo realized you were the most authentic person he'd ever met, maybe that's why everyone on campus was so enamored by you. On the other hand, he was nothing like the shy boy you first met at the cafeteria. He was so bright, his laugh so pretty that it made you want to hear it every day.

“This is our last session.” You announced as soon as your canvas was fixed in place. “Time goes by so quickly, don't you think?”

“Yeah, sure.” You noticed the saddened expression on his face.

“What’s wrong, woo?” He loved the nickname you decided to give him on your first session, it made him feel closer to you.

“It’s just a pity that we won't get to see each other as often anymore.”

“Who says we won't?” You started moving the paintbrush over the canvas, adding the final details to your portrait.

“You still wanna hang out with me?”

“Of course I do! You're finally opening up to me, I won't risk losing the progress we've made.” His heart felt like it’d escape his chest any minute.

“I thought you were just using me for your project.” You gasped, approaching his seating place with the paintbrush still between your fingers.

“How dare you, Kim Jungwoo?” There was a dramatic pause before you painted the tip of his nose.

“You didn't.” You wiggled your eyebrows, running away from him as he stood up. “Get back here!”

“Stop!” You threatened him with your brush, back pressed against the wall. “I won't hesitate to paint you again.”

“Scary.” His chest was touching yours, faces barely centimeters away.

“Where’s the shy Jungwoo I met?”

“I don't know what you're talking about.” His knee positioned between your legs, pushing against your core. “What is it with that face?”

“Have you been deceiving me from the beginning?” You tiptoed, trying to hold back the small whine threatening to fall from your lips.

“No.” He raised his knee, this time, the imminent whine managing to get past your mouth. “I really was shy around you, but you're so easy to be with. I feel like I can be myself when I'm with you.”

“By yourself, you mean your horny self?” He started moving his limb back and forth, making sure to apply pressure on the right spot.

“I wasn't planning to do this, I didn't even know you wanted to see me after your project was done.” His finger pads danced over your neck, causing goosebumps over the sensitive skin.

“Well, then, are you gonna kiss me or should I take The first step?” He giggled before attaching his mouth to yours, a variety of new sensations growing at the bottom of your stomach. “God, I wish my project would've been related to nude portraits.”

“I would've definitely called the cops if you had asked me to be your nude model.”

“Mean.” Your face inched closer to his lips once again, slightly biting into his skin.

“Are you alright with this?” He lightened up the pressure on your heat, making sure you were both on the same page.

“Yes. But I don't know about making love in a classroom, though.”

“Making love?”

“I don't like the way ‘fucking’ sounds.” He chuckled. “Would you rather have me calling it sexual intercourse?”

“Stop talking before my dick gets soft.”

He lifted you with ease, sitting on the stool you usually used with you on his lap. His hands rubbed the sides of your thighs affectionately, slowly lifting the fabric of your purple dress to reveal your panties. He wasted no time on moving them to the side, quickly using his digits to make sure you were wet enough.

You helped him undo his jeans, clumsy hands struggling to get the zipper down.

“Allow me.”

“Be gentle, alright?” You placed your hands behind his head, toying with his brown locks as he aligned himself with you. He nodded. “I need verbal confirmation, woo.”

“I promise to be gentle, y/n.” You felt his tip prodding at your small hole, bracing yourself for the imminent pain. “Look at me.”

He started sliding inside you, your fingers accidentally tugging his hair. He didn't complain, though, too immersed in your face to even notice. You glanced at him, noticing how handsome he was from up close. His eyes looked like they carried the stars- no, the whole universe, you'd definitely have to paint them one day.

“Can I move?” You nodded, holding back the smile creeping up your lips as he started thrusting upwards. “Not even in my wildest dreams would I have imagined we'd end up like this.”

“Well, I'm glad you accepted to be my model.” You let out an open-mouthed moan, his dick hitting your G-spot.

“Pill?” You nodded, letting him do all the hard work while you enjoyed yourself. “Pretty.” He kissed your throat, holding your glutes to push himself further into you.

There were no words needed to know you were both incredibly close to release, just a few more thrusts had your pussy pulsating around him, his warm cum coating your walls.

“This is the best love-making session I've ever had.” You let your body fall against his, causing him to lose balance and almost fall down. “Sorry.”

“Well, we can always repeat this. Maybe I can actually be your nude model for your next masterpiece.”

“Who is this guy?” He chuckled, the corner of his eyes picking the image of the recently painted portrait. “Don’t look!”

But he was already admiring the product of your hard work, and it was amazing, to say the least. It was a picture of him smiling, sunlight coming in through the large window panel beside him and directly hitting his face.

“If you don't get an A, I'll write a complaint.”

“I like your way of thinking. I'm getting the feeling that you and I will be a power couple, only if you want that too, of course.”

“Let’s go out for dinner and I'll think about it.”

#nct smut #nct fluff #nct au #nct imagines #nct ot21 #nct x reader #nct #nct 127 #nct scenarios

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wheresmynaya · 3 years

Text

Hate to Date Ch.6 | Brittana

A/N - Exciting news, we're out of lockdown and I'm back to work. Not exciting news, I’m back to work LOL. As always, thanks for the reviews and those who have bought a coffee for me through ko-fi! Both instantly make my day & encourage me to keep up with these weekly updates so I really appreciate it!💙

Available on ff.net (x) ao3 (x) & under the cut!

It takes a whole ten seconds after Brittany closes the car door behind her before Puck’s hitting Santana with a barrage of questions. Santana does her best to ignore them because she knows Puck’s been dying to hear about their trip, but Brittany hasn’t even pulled her suitcase from the trunk yet and she can totally hear them still.

“Aren’t you going to help her or something?” Santana asks instead.

“Aren’t you? You’re her girlfriend.”

“You’re the guy. Isn’t lifting things meant to be your specialty?”

Puck narrows his eyes, “That’s not very girl power of you.”

Santana just huffs her way out of the car, but by the time she gets around Brittany’s already got her suitcase out. The blonde gives her a questioning look as Santana lingers by the trunk.

“I was coming to see if you needed help,” Santana explains.

Brittany chuckles, “Little late for that.”

Santana feels her face flush with embarrassment. Damn Puck making her look like an idiot.

“Besides, I’ve seen how you are around a suitcase,” Brittany smirks. “Probably best if I do the heavy lifting.”

“Nice one!” Puck calls out.

When Santana turns to flick him off, she finds that he’s halfway hanging out of the driver’s side window watching with interest. Brittany only laughs as she pulls the handle up on her luggage.

“You’re both dicks,” Santana grumbles as she crosses her arms over her chest.

“I mean, she’s not wrong though?” Puck reasons.

Santana just cuts him with a steely glare and that shuts him up real quick.

“Anyway, it’s been fun. Thanks for the ride again, Puck,” Brittany says before turning to Santana. “And I guess I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Santana nods, “Yeah. Same time, same place.”

“I’ll remember you said that,” Brittany quips before waving goodbye and heading inside her apartment complex.

Puck’s still hanging out the driver’s side window looking back and forth between Santana and Brittany’s door with a slack jaw. Santana rolls her eyes at him as she pulls open the passenger door.

“What’s happening tomorrow?” He asks eagerly.

Santana sighs, “Can you just get in the car? You’re too damn big to be hanging out there like that.”

The reluctance to answer has Puck acting even more giddy. It’s a classic Santana tactic: deflect and insult. Puck listens anyway though and gets himself inside where Santana busies herself with buckling up.

“So what’s happening tomorrow?” Puck asks again.

“We’re working on that assignment together for Prof Martinez’s class,” Santana finally answers. “Because someone decided to fuck around with the teams now I have to actually spend time with her instead of lie about it.”

“Oh, boring,” Puck frowns and goes to start the car.

Santana looks back curiously, “What’d you think we were doing?”

Puck starts to smirk.

Santana scrunches her nose, “Actually, nevermind. I don’t want to know.”

“I’m just joking!” Puck laughs. “But seriously, will you tell me about your trip now? I was a little nervous that one of you wouldn’t be coming back.”

“What? Why?”

Puck shrugs, “I don’t know because you hate each other?”

Santana pauses, “I don’t know if hate’s the right word anymore.”

“You’d probably trick her into boarding the wrong plane or something. Is that not hate?”

Santana smirks, “Now that would’ve been funny.”

“See?”

Santana shakes her head, “I don’t know. She still frustrates the hell out of me and I find a lot of things she does super annoying, but to say I hate her doesn’t really fit anymore.”

Puck looks at her curiously, “You feeling okay? Did you finally get your heart back from Lima?”

Santana laughs, “You know Lima doesn’t have it.”

Puck chuckles along with her, “Well something big must’ve happened there if you’re changing your tune like this.”

“It’s nothing like that,” Santana replies. “I guess – I don’t know – I understand Brittany a little more? That doesn’t mean we’re going to braid each other’s hair anytime soon.”

“Right. What about your fam? How’d they feel about her?”

“We did what we were supposed to do. Mom likes her, Abuela not so much.”

“Shit,” Puck cringes.

“Yeah. It’ll work out though,” Santana answers. “This was a good start, we just need to put more time into it. I’m getting into that firm.”

“Hell yeah, you are!”

“In the meantime though, I’ve gotta up my game,” Santana says. “I can’t have people thinking Brittany’s a better girlfriend than me.”

Puck quirks his brow, “And how are you gonna do that?”

“Well after spending all this time with Brittany, I’ve learned me two things,” Santana smirks. “She’s a pushover and she’s a total sucker for the romantic shit, like the kind of shit that’s in movies. You know, real cliché stuff. Just look at the stuff she does for me.”

“Okay?”

“I just have to do it better than her,” Santana says simply, “I have to be thoughtful and sweet and take her by surprise. I’ve gotta be one step ahead at all times! And maybe I can embarrass the crap out of her in the process? It’s a win/win for me.”

Puck looks skeptic, but Santana’s already crafting her game plan.

Santana spends all night watching cheesy rom-coms just to get some inspiration, because as it turns out – she’s not really familiar with romantic gestures. She’s never really needed them because hooking up isn’t about romance and that’s how she likes it. But this fake relationship thing is really pushing her out of her comfort zone – good thing it’s all an act.

Puck joins Santana after getting back from weight training and together they make a list of all the possible ways Santana can fake-woo Brittany. Puck jots down a couple ideas for himself, lord knows he needs all the help he can get!

The only downside of a rom-com marathon is that most of the movies are predominately straight and Santana struggles to relate. Meanwhile, Puck’s trying to hide the fact that he’s tearing up during certain scenes.

Despite the string hetero content, Puck does end up getting his hands on a bootleg copy of Imagine Me and You. Now it’s Santana’s turn to pretend she’s not tearing up and Puck wastes no time in teasing her about it.

Santana decides she’s going start off slow with something simple; bringing Brittany snacks for when they study together later on. Where it lacks in romance, it makes up for in thoughtfulness so Santana’s sure it’ll be a winner.

She’s already stopped off somewhere on her way to cheer practice to get what she needs just incase she runs late again. At least if Coach Roz goes on another rant again, Santana will meet Brittany bearing gifts.

It’s a pretty perfect plan, but what Santana doesn’t expect is to find Brittany waiting outside of the gym for her. Apparently, the blonde had a similar idea in mind and has beaten Santana to the punch.

Not with snacks, but with something much more valuable.

“Uh hey,” Santana eyes her hesitantly. “What are you doing here?”

Brittany lifts the cup in her hand, “I got you this.”

“You got me a coffee?”

“Yeah, I was in the area and I knew you’d be coming here for practice.”

Santana’s brows furrow, “Did Puck put you up to this?”

Brittany frowns, “What?”

“Nevermind,” Santana shakes her head and moves closer to take the cup. She stares down at the lid and looks to Brittany, “What is it?”

“Coffee?” Brittany answers. “Strong and as black as your heart.”

“Just how I like it,” Santana lies as she masks her disappointment.

She braces herself for the bitter taste, hoping her facial expression doesn’t give her away. Surprisingly though, it tastes nothing like she expected it to – it’s sweet, just like she actually likes it.

Brittany starts to smirk, “Plus a box of sugar and bunch of milk.”

“How’d you know?” Santana asks. “I pay the barista extra to keep her mouth shut.”

“She did, but I’ve seen the inside of your purse,” Brittany chuckles. “It’s nothing but sugar packets and tiny creamers. Plus I’ve spent the last couple of mornings with you, I’ve noticed things.”

“Oh. Right.”

“Who knew this leather-jacket-wearing badass cheerleader secretly likes her coffee super sweet?”

“Exactly. It doesn’t fit the aesthetic,” Santana brushes off. “I can’t have that little detail about me getting out. What would people think?”

Brittany quirks a brow, “Do you really care that much about that?”

“Don’t you?” Santana says simply.

Brittany shrugs, “It’s just coffee. So what?”

Santana pauses. Sometimes Brittany can make the hardest things sound so simple and Santana can’t tell if it’s because Brittany’s naïve or Santana’s just so used to overcomplicating things. It doesn’t matter, she’s not getting into it right now.

“Thanks for this,” Santana replies. “I’ll see you after practice.”

Brittany bites her lip as she nods, “Yeah okay. See you later.”

Despite having a duffle bag full of all kinds of snacks, Santana holds off for the time being. It’s too close to Brittany’s little act of kindness and she can’t have the blonde thinking that she’s inspired Santana’s gesture.

So, she waits a few more days because timing is also important. Being surprised with snacks doesn’t mean a thing if you’ve just ate, so Santana keeps that in mind as she falls back into her usual routine of classes, cheer practice and studying.

The opportunity doesn’t arise until the following week.

Apparently one of Brittany’s classes has a test scheduled at the end of the week and it has the blonde stressed out more than usual. Santana only knows because Puck mentioned something about Brittany rescheduling a tutoring session which rarely happens.

So Santana thinks it’s finally her time to shine and really show off how thoughtful she can be!

As Santana makes her way inside the library with her bag full of goodies, there’s this big grin on her face because not only is she going to show Brittany she’s got some competition on the best girlfriend front there’s also quite the crowd around.

Again, it’s a win/win for Santana!

She finds Brittany in her usual spot at the back of the study area and makes her way over. Students studying at the various tables around watch as Santana saunters down the aisle in her cheer uniform. Santana can hear the whispers starting up and tries to keep from smirking at how good this is going to make her look.

“Hey,” Santana greets once she gets to Brittany’s table.

Brittany’s taken by complete surprise as she looks up. Santana can tell because the usual confidence is no where to be found, in it’s place is astonishment.

“Uh hi,” Brittany finally greets. “What are you doing here? Is it 3:30 already?”

“No. I was just in the neighborhood,” Santana shrugs as she takes a seat in front of Brittany. “Thought you might need a little afternoon snack break.”

Brittany looks questioningly until Santana starts pulling out various treats she knows Brittany loves. There’s a theater box of DOTS, a packet of Goldfish, a Mounds bar, and a few other goodies that are the healthier side.

“Awh, that’s so cute!” A girl from the table beside them coos before turning to her partner. “Where the hell are my snacks?”

The guy just frowns at Santana, “Thanks a lot.”

“Step your game up,” Santana tells him before turning back to Brittany. There’s a pleased smile on her face but she wants to hear it from Brittany herself, “You like?”

Brittany’s hesitant to answer but when she does, she can’t help but smile, “I like. I actually forgot my lunch today so this is perfect.”

Santana pumps her fist triumphantly before realizing people are still staring.

“You know, how long I’ve been waiting for the perfect moment to give you all this stuff?” Santana admits. “I felt like a hoarder having to hide them in my room so Puck wouldn’t eat them.”

Brittany chuckles, “I don’t know how I’ll be able to top this.”

Santana smirks; that’s exactly what she likes to hear.

“Woah, who hit the jackpot?” Puck says, surprising the both of them as he comes up to the table.

“Jesus! Where’d you come from?” Santana gasps. “You know this is the library, right?”

“Yes,” Puck rolls his eyes. “I was studying with some guys from the team since Britt cancelled on me but I see why she did now.”

“Oh no, I didn’t know she was coming here,” Brittany explains quickly.

“It was a surprise,” Santana says proudly.

Pucks brows rise as he reaches for one of Brittany’s snacks, but Santana’s quick to swat at his hand.

“Paws off,” She tells him. “I got that for her, not you.”

“Damn chill,” Puck frowns as he holds his hand.

Brittany only chuckles at the pair, “Thanks for this. It’s been a much needed interruption but I do have to get back to studying.”

“Oh yeah, sure!” Santana nods as she goes to stand. She looks around to see if people are still watching and starts to grin when she finds that they are. “I’ll just be at practice, but let me know if you need anything else.”

“Okay,” Brittany smiles back.

“And I’ll just be over there,” Puck adds as he heads back to his table leaving Santana alone with Brittany.

“Thanks for the brain food,” Brittany mentions again. “Very sweet of you.”

Santana only shrugs although there’s a bashful smile on her face, “You know me, super thoughtful.”

“Uh-huh,” Brittany smirks before pulling her down gently for a kiss on the cheek. It takes Santana by surprise a little, but Brittany’s lips linger by Santana’s ear as she says. “I know you’re just trying to work the crowd. You’re not fooling me.”

Santana eyes go wide but she keeps a poker face, “Can’t have them thinking you’re the best girlfriend around.”

“Can’t help it if it’s true,” Brittany chuckles before letting Santana go. In a much louder voice she waves goodbye, “See you later, Fluffbottom!”

Santana pastes on a fake smile, but she can’t exit the building fast enough. The cringey terms of endearment are such a low blow!

With Brittany onto Santana’s little plan, the blonde starts to up her game too. Over the next couple of weeks, the two go back and forth just trying to one up the other in romantic gestures. They sort of make a game out of who can pull the biggest awh from the spectators that always flock the couple.

Currently, the score is pretty even but Brittany’s never too far behind.

Santana doesn’t get it, but she tries harder anyway.

The next time Brittany decides to show Santana that she’s always one step ahead of her, it’s during one of the basketball games Santana cheers for. At first, Santana didn’t even notice her in the crowd because when has Brittany ever come to a sporting event?

In fact, it’s probably the last place she’d ever expect to see Brittany.

And yet, there she is…waving eagerly with Puck by her side to get her attention.

“Awh! Santana, your girlfriend’s here to watch you cheer!” One of the girls on Santana’s squad coos. “That is so cute!”

“Yeah,” Santana answers as she keeps her eye narrowed on Brittany. “Real cute.”

It’s not until after the halftime performance that Santana’s able to make her way over to Brittany for the first time since spotting her. There’s this smug grin on the blonde’s face and Santana struggles to keep from rolling her eyes at the sight of it. She just knows Brittany’s mentally adding a point to their ongoing tally.

As Santana reaches the bottom of the bleachers, Brittany’s about halfway down the steps. Puck’s not too far behind, his entire face painted in white and Columbia blue for the occasion.

“Well this is a surprise,” Santana says once she’s close enough. “You never come to these things.”

“That’s because I’ve never dated a cheerleader before,” Brittany quips.

“I invited her,” Puck admits.

Santana looks between the two of them skeptically, “I get why Puck’s here, but you? Do you secretly like women’s basketball or something?”

Brittany shakes her head, “I don’t know a thing about it.”

“Then why are you here?” Santana questions.

“Like I said, you’re my reason.”

If anyone else was listening in, they might’ve found Brittany’s statement a little cute. Maybe if Brittany wasn’t Brittany, Santana might’ve found it cute too but she knows the blonde’s true motives. She knows she’s just trying to work the crowd so it rolls right over Santana’s head.

Instead, she looks from Brittany to Puck.

“I’m starting to question where your loyalties lie, Puckerman,” Santana tells him.

“Don’t look at me, I didn’t think she’d actually say yes! I was just being nice.”

His hands are instantly thrown up in defense.

“Uh-huh.”

“He didn’t do anything. I was already thinking of coming,” Brittany interrupts with a sweet smile. “I figured I might as well add supportive girlfriend to the long list of things I’m great at and this was the perfect opportunity.”

Santana laughs off the jab, “Perfect girlfriend my ass.”

“I think it was pretty smart thinking on my part,” Brittany replies as she nods over to the entryway. “Did you know Eddie would be here?”

Santana glances in the coach’s direction and does her best to hide the fact that she forgot all about him possibly being around. “Duh. Of course he’d be here, he comes to most games.”

“Guess I should start coming to most games too then,” Brittany suggests. “Keep up appearances.”

Santana hates that Brittany’s got a point. Now’s about the time Santana would move on to the next girl and Eddie’s sure to be taking note so he can report back to Maribel. Damn Brittany and her quick thinking!

“Sure whatever,” Santana brushes off. “I need to get back. I hope you enjoy the rest of show.”

“I’ll try,” Brittany smirks before lifting the book in her hand. “I’ve got this just incase.”

“You brought a book to read at a game?” Santana tries not to laugh. “Can you at least try not being so nerdy? It’s hard to pretend to like you if you’re making it so easy for me to make fun of you.”

Brittany sighs through her smile, “It’s only a precaution incase I get bored.”

“Bored? Our performances aren’t boring,” Santana tells her. “What’s boring about a full twisted layout?”

Brittany only shrugs, “I don’t even know what that is.”

“It’s a dope move that requires skill and talent.”

“So something you can’t do?” Brittany smirks.

Santana fakes a laugh, “You’re so funny.”

“What about the skirts? You like them, right?” Puck suddenly asks Brittany, still hung up on finding the games boring.

Santana nods along with him, “Everyone likes the skirts.”

Brittany’s eyes rake up Santana’s lithe frame slowly while Santana poses.

If there’s anything Santana’s more confident in, it’s her looks. She’s hot and she knows she’s hot, it’s not even about being conceited it’s pure fact. That combined with the power of a cheerleading uniform has never failed her, so it’s only a matter of time before Brittany’s admitting defeat.

When their eyes finally meet, there’s a smug grin on Santana’s face but Brittany is expressionless.

“It’s okay,” Brittany tells them with indifference.

Puck’s jaw drops, he’s practically besides himself with the news, while Santana only stares. She might not be able to read Brittany most of the time, but what she has become good at is noticing a blatant lie.

And it’s okay is one of them.

It’s like Santana’s finally found a weakness in Brittany’s front because why lie about it? If you think someone’s hot then say so, it’s no big deal – at least, to her it’s not. You don’t have to like people that you find attractive, clearly, so what’s Brittany’s deal?

Maybe it’s the lack of flirtatious banter or the build up of sex deprivation, but testing Brittany’s willpower sparks Santana’s interest and gets her thinking of a slightly better game.

“So this does nothing for you?” Santana asks again with a little shake of her hips.

In all of her years as a cheerleader, she’s never met anyone who could resist. Even without the uniform, Santana’s just got this confidence about her – this undeniable sexual magnetism – that kind of makes her irresistible.

Like she’s always said, she can’t help that she’s attractive. It truly is a gift.

Even Puck looks to Brittany for an answer. Funny thing though, Brittany doesn’t take the bait. Instead, she just maintains eye contact with Santana – unyielding and a little unnerving.

“Honey,” Brittany says sweetly. “If you’re looking for someone to drool over you keep looking.”

“Wow,” Santana laughs. “Some girlfriend you are!”

“I’m not that shallow,” Brittany quips. “I don’t care about what you wear. I’m more interested in your heart.”

“God,” Santana scrunches her nose. “Who knew you were such a cornball.”

“I thought you’d like that,” Brittany chuckles. “But seriously, you can’t distract me with a short skirt.”

“I’ll remember you said that,” Santana challenges with a smirk.

Looks like Brittany’s a harder one to crack than she thought.

Thankfully though the odds are in still Santana’s favor because what holiday is only weeks away now?

Valentine’s Day.

And it’s never too early to start the scheming! Santana’s been going pretty soft in the weeks following the game Brittany surprised her at, but it was all for a purpose. She’s letting Brittany create a false sense of security, she’s letting her think she’s totally got this in the bag. And when Brittany least expects it, BAM! Santana will pull out all the stops!

That’ll definitely put an end to the Brittany’s so thoughtful, Santana you’re so lucky! The roles will totally be reversed and that’s the ultimate win – another she can add to her figurative trophy shelf!

And although Santana won’t be getting laid this year, which is so depressing, the thought of being dubbed the best girlfriend ever over Brittany is pretty up there.

So when Valentine’s week finally rolls around, Santana’s as eager as ever. She has the heart-shaped chocolates, she has the cute stuffed animal in it’s little red bowtie, but most importantly – she has the outfit.

And the outfit is everything.

“Woah,” Puck skids to a stop when he finds Santana in their kitchen dressed in her short candy striper dress. “Where are you going looking like that?”

Santana smirks as she finishes off her breakfast, “I’m going to see Brittany.”

“Dressed like that?”

“Yup.”

Puck tears his eyes away and looks at Santana like she’s crazy. “You know she’s in class, right? Not camped out a strip club.”

Santana brushes him off, “Obviously. It’s all apart of the plan.”

“What plan?” Puck laughs, “Give the girl a heart attack?”

“Sort of,” Santana starts grinning devilishly. “I’m gonna break her.”

Puck rolls his eyes, “This about the skirt thing again?”

“Yes!” Santana groans. “Don’t you think it’s weird that Brittany won’t admit that she finds me attractive?”

“Maybe she doesn’t.”

Santana eyes him like he’s lost his mind.

“Impossible,” She says.

Puck shakes his head, “This is trouble. You know that right?”

“It’s just a game between friends.”

“But you two aren’t friends,” Puck laughs as he makes a coffee.

“Shit. You’re right,” Santana pauses to think before shrugging. “Well then this is purely for my enjoyment. I haven’t had sex in like a month or made out with a hot stranger. I’m not allowed to flirt with anyone because technically I’m taken. The only joy I have left is being better than Brittany and or embarrassing the hell out of her so just let me have this.”

“Do whatever you want, Lopez.”

“Thank you,” Santana smiles angelically. She reaches for her basket of Valentine’s Day goodies, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go make some jaws drop.”

Puck only lifts his mug of coffee in salute as his best friend leaves.

So far, Santana’s outfit works like a charm. She kind of missed the way heads would roll for her whenever she walked by. She doesn’t really get that anymore with a girlfriend around and god, has she missed this attention! With Brittany, the compliments are all for show so it doesn’t really do anything for her but this – the helpless bystanders she leaves drooling in her wake?

There’s nothing fake about that.

Now when it comes to making her entrance, Santana’s a little merciful.

At first, she considered interrupting the class but she knows by now Brittany wouldn’t like that too much since she’s the biggest nerd she’s ever met and takes class super seriously. So instead, Santana waits in the hall until class finishes up. It’s an even better plan than the first because not only will she take Brittany by surprise, she’ll have an audience too without the threat of a professor telling her off for an interruption.

Santana counts the minutes, eagerly awaiting the class’s dismissal.

As the first few students start trickling out, Santana moves to stand taller – ready for showtime. There’s a sultry look on her face – one that’s been known to make knees go weak – as Brittany finally makes an appearance.

This time, Brittany’s the one taken by surprise; so much so that she does a double take when she sees Santana standing there.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Santana greets in a seductive tone.

It takes a second for Brittany to answer, her eyes struggling to stay on Santana’s. The brunette’s already taking this as a big win.

“It’s…not Valentine’s Day yet,” Brittany finally replies although she’s still visibly stunned.

“I figure I’d start early,” Santana flirts shamelessly with a soft touch to Brittany’s arm. “My girl should get a week’s worth of Valentine’s fun. Don’t you think?”

Brittany gulps, “Well…I was sort of waiting until the day to give you my gift.”

Santana smirks; she swears sweat is starting to bead around Brittany’s brow. The will power is definitely strong though, Santana can give her that!

“That’s okay,” Santana bites her lip seductively. “I’m sure it’ll be worth the wait.”

Brittany’s eyes flicker to Santana’s lips then back to meet her eyes. Something flashes in those dazzling blues and it’s like a trance has been broken. Brittany moves to stand a little straighter, her hands falling to Santana’s hips – strong and sure – as she begins to match Santana’s smirk.

“It’ll be so worth it,” Brittany flirts just as shamelessly which makes Santana falter. “Although, I don’t have anything like this is my wardrobe.”

“Only a select few have been able to pull it off,” Santana replies.

“I bet,” Brittany comments. “Looks like a lot of laces and buttons to get around.”

Santana falters again; she didn’t expect Brittany to take her words so literally but it kind of does something to her. It gives the slightest tug to something growing restless within her. But she shakes it off, keeps her eye on the prize.

“It’s quite time consuming. Have to be good with your hands,” Santana tells her.

Brittany cheeks go a little red at that and Santana quickly capitalizes on the moment.

“On top of the goodies I’ve brought, I also have these,” Santana says as she lifts her little basket. “Chocolates, every heart-shaped candy I could find, a teddy bear…”

“Looks like you’ve really outdone yourself,” Brittany notes with a peek into Santana’s basket. “How will I ever top this?”

There’s the slightest bit of sarcasm there, but Santana smirks anyway.

“You know…that’s the second time I’ve heard you say that. You might want to admit defeat while you still can.”

Brittany rolls her eyes, “You’re playing a dangerous game, Santana.”

“That’s the only kind of game I like to play.”

Brittany quirks her brow, “Okay.”

Santana wavers, “Okay?”

“Yeah, okay,” Brittany chuckles.

“But – “

“I really have to get to my next class,” Brittany explains as she takes Santana’s basket while pressing a kiss to her cheek. “This was cute though.”

Cute? Puppies are cute. Kittens are cute. Hell, some babies are kind of cute. But this? Santana wasn’t going for cute. She was aiming higher than that! Much, much higher!

“Wait,” Santana calls out just as Brittany’s take a few steps down the hall.

Brittany turns, looking back at her expectantly.

“You’re talking about the basket right?” Santana asks, “The basket is cute?”

Brittany sighs tiredly although the smile is still there. Her eyes dip down to Santana’s exposed legs, that short, ruffled skirt, the corset and the amazing things it does to her cleavage then back up again.

“The outfit’s not bad too,” Brittany tells her with a smirk before turning away.

Not bad, Santana thinks. It’s not the statement she would’ve gone with but it’s a step up from cute so she’ll take it. The expression on Brittany’s face when she first saw Santana was way better though.

Santana spends the rest of Valentine’s week doing cute little things here and there, but she kind of regrets starting off so strong with the outfit when the actual day comes.

It’s so typical of her to jump straight to the knockout punch instead of doing things slow and steady. She’s never had the patience for that and it’s biting her in the ass now, because all she has left up her sleeve is this giant heart-shaped balloon that she made Puck buy the night before and a bouquet of flowers.

She’s just hoping the simplicity of it is enough to get a good reaction out of the crowd, because walking towards their first class of the day together with a big ass balloon is already turning some heads. Not in the way heads turned for her on Monday, but hey – at least she has range.

When she finally does reach the lecture hall, it’s no surprise that Brittany’s already seated inside.

“Really Santana?” Professor Martinez sighs when Santana struggles to get the balloon through the door. “Don’t you think that’s a little distracting?”

“You know what else is distracting?” Santana quips as she sets her eyes on Brittany. “The adoration I have for my girlfriend.”

“Here we go,” Professor Martinez laughs. “I almost like it better when you two were constantly fighting.”

Santana brushes him off as she makes her way to Brittany, “This is for you.”

Brittany looks up at her reflection in the shiny red of the giant balloon, “Of course it is.”

“And also these,” Santana then presents Brittany with the bouquet. “I went with something a little out of the ordinary, you know, thinking outside of the box. I know how much you appreciate – “

“I’m allergic to sunflowers.”

Santana’s heart drops, “What?”

“Yeah,” Brittany leans back. “Deathly allergic.”

“Shit,” Santana instantly jolts away from her but Brittany starts to laugh. “Wait, seriously?”

“No, not seriously,” Brittany giggles as she accepts the gifts. “Who’s allergic to sunflowers?”

“Uh, I don’t know!” Santana frowns. “I’m sure someone out there is.”

Brittany quiets down, “Sorry. That was a little mean.”

Santana shakes her head as she takes the seat beside Brittany.

“And people say I’m mean,” She says.

Brittany leans over and kisses her cheek, “I don’t think anyone says that.”

Santana lets out a laugh, “You say that.”

“It’s not as bad as I thought,” Brittany shrugs. “Anyway, since we’re doing gifts already I can take you to part one of yours after class?”

“Part one?”

“Mhmm,” Brittany hums. “It should be ready by then. Part two needs a little more time.”

Santana gets to thinking what Brittany could possibly have planned, but Professor Martinez interrupts with the beginning of his lecture. Once again, Santana’s lack of patience has her completely distracted all class.

“It’s in the art wing?” Santana questions as she follows after Brittany who has been tight-lipped since the end of class.

“Looks that way,” Brittany chuckles. “You’ll find out soon enough if you just quit asking questions.”

“I can’t help that I’m impatient.”

“Sure you can.”

Santana sighs and continues following Brittany until they reach their destination just a few minutes later. It’s a narrow hallway with a line of wooden doors and they’re stopped at the very first one.

“It’s in there?” Santana asks.

“Yup,” Brittany grins. “I’ll have to blindfold you though.”

“Kinky,” Santana smirks.

Brittany blushes through an eye roll, “Just turn around so I can put this on you.”

Santana continues joking as she turns for her, “I should’ve known, the quiet ones are always the kinkiest.”

“I’m not quiet,” Brittany replies as she tightens the blindfold around Santana’s head.

“I mean,” Santana snickers, “Just wanky.”

“Can you see anything?”

“Obviously not.”

“Perfect,” Brittany says and takes Santana by the hand.

Santana can hear the door creak open and she’s instantly hit with the scent of flowers. The blindfold’s kind of pointless now because the floral aroma gives away the surprise almost instantly, but just as she’s about to say something – Brittany pushes her to sit down.

Now, Santana’s been blindfolded a handful of times in her life. Santana’s also been pushed to sit down a handful of times in her life too. The combination of the two - historically for her – has lead to some pretty steamy times.

Obviously that won’t be the case here, but God does she wish it were.

The thought makes her wonder if it would matter if the person on the other side of that blindfold was still Brittany, but she doesn’t get to come up with an answer as the blindfold is soon pulled off.

Santana blinks at the sudden bright light to find that she’s surrounded by flowers. Like, a ton of them! They’re in buckets, in pots, in glass vases and in…red solo cups?

“I ran out of space,” Brittany comments when she notices Santana looking confused.

“Right,” Santana breathes out and as she turns to admire the entire room she’s even more surprised by what else she sees – a bunch of people staring back at her through a glass window.

That’s when she realizes that Brittany’s led her to an art display case, a display case that nearly everyone in the entire building walks by on their way to and from class. Santana quickly plasters on a smile while she’s on display in front of the crowd as Brittany comes to wrap an arm around her.

“Didn’t think you were the only one with a few tricks up her sleeve, huh?” Brittany whispers through her smirk.

“How’d you even get access to this case?” Santana wonders. “Don’t you have to book them like three months in advance?”

“I know a guy,” Brittany teases. “Now wave to our audience. They’re all here to witness this, they’ve known about it all week.”

Santana fights the eyeroll and waves, “You know, just because you fill a room full of flowers doesn’t mean you win this.”

“They’re not just any flowers though. I did my research,” Brittany defends. “They’re the lesbians of flowers.”

Santana looks around the room and deadpans, “Oh wow.”

“Didn’t know that was a thing, did you?”

“I can’t say that I did, no.”

“Just wait until part two of your gift,” Brittany tells her.

Santana looks back at her hesitantly, “When’s that gonna be?”

Brittany begins to smirk, “When you least expect it.”

Yeah, Santana’s really regretting starting off the week strong now.

When you least expect it ends up meaning later that day during Santana’s cheer practice.

They’re out on the field for training because Coach Roz loves reminding everyone how much of a privilege it is to be able to practice in a heated gym. Apparently when she trained for the Olympics, their gym didn’t have heating so now once a month they train without heating too.

With it being the middle of February in New York, it’s fucking cold. Santana’s past complaining about her tits freezing off and is now just trying to get the hell out of there as fast as she can now that practice is finally over.

She almost gets away with it too, until all the lights in the stadium suddenly turn on causing everyone to stop and look around.

Santana’s been on edge ever since the whole Lesbians of Flowers incident took place earlier in the day, so she eyes her surroundings suspiciously – waiting for Brittany to fall from the sky dressed like cupid or something ridiculous and over the top.

What she doesn’t expect is to see the school’s Glee Club take the stands with Brittany leading them.

“Oh no,” Santana mumbles as microphone feedback echoes throughout the field. “She better not.”

“Attention all Lions,” Brittany’s voice booms over the loud speaker. “As a final Valentine’s Day treat, I’ve enlisted some friends to help me dedicate a little song to my favorite person ever.”

Santana’s face suddenly feels red hot. She barely feels the cold February air now as everyone turns to look at her. If there’s anything that embarrasses her more, it’s being serenaded in public – especially without any alcohol involved.

“This one’s for you, Sweet Cheeks!” Brittany says before the Glee Club starts up with their harmonizing.

As soon as they start singing Britney Spears’ (You Drive Me) Crazy, Santana doesn’t know whether to laugh or take offence. The song choice is actually kind of perfect for them in the literal sense as Santana gets to listening to the lyrics.

Obviously not every line is accurate, but Santana finds herself giggling as the performance goes on. Brittany’s totally feeling it though; dancing along with the Glee Clubbers in her own way although she looks so out of place next to their bland, choreographed steps.

She actually ends up dancing down the bleachers and Santana eagerly awaits a misstep, but it never happens. Leave it to Brittany to be able to dance down bleacher steps while other people usually struggle coming down the things normally.

Slightly out of breath, Brittany skips over to Santana with the smuggest grin yet.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” She says.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Santana replies.

“What’d you think about my part two?” Brittany nods over to the performance still going on.

“Definitely not what I had in mind,” Santana chuckles.

“I’ve paid them to repeat the performance until I give them a signal.”

“Give the signal now then,” Santana urges with a laugh.

“No way, I love this song!” Brittany starts to shimmy her shoulders, “Picked it out myself, you know. Britney’s kind of iconic.”

“Brittany likes Britney,” Santana quips. “Why am I not surprised?”

The blonde rolls her eyes, “You can go ahead admit defeat now.”

“I’ll be doing no such thing,” Santana crosses her arms. “Game’s not over until I say it is and since public humiliation is apparently on the table – “

“A sing-o-gram is hardly public humiliation,” Brittany argues.

“Maybe if they weren’t tone deaf losers then sure.”

Brittany puts a hand on her hip, “That was mean.”

“Just keeping it real,” Santana shrugs. “But seriously. Make them stop.”

Brittany sighs, “Fine.”

Suddenly, she takes Santana in her arms and dips her. A kiss lands on her cheek but to everyone else still watching them it looks as if it’s made contact with Santana’s lips. Santana hangs onto Brittany’s jacket for dear life, just hoping that the girl doesn’t drop her.

She doesn’t and soon Santana’s being stood upright again. The smug grin is back again as blue eyes sparkle with mischief.

“That was your signal?” Santana questions when she realizes the singing finally stopped.

Brittany shrugs, “Felt like it fit the moment.”

“Didn’t think it was a little dramatic?”

“My adoration for you is a little dramatic,” Brittany quips.

Santana just shakes her head and laughs. She knows just what to do to give Brittany a taste of her own medicine. Like the blonde, Santana just has to wait until she least expects it.

The moment happens to arise a couple weeks later when Puck mentions something about Brittany inviting him to some big Brainiacs’ match.

“I can’t go though,” Puck tells Santana. “Got a hot date.”

“Right,” Santana replies – the gears already turning.

“You busy?” He asks. “Maybe you can go instead?”

Santana smirks, “I’m one step ahead of you.”

It’s pretty short notice, but Santana acts fast in gathering her necessary supplies. The pure embarrassment she felt on Valentine’s Day fuels her as she breaks out the posterboard and markers. She even takes it a step further and scours Brittany’s social media for some headshots, anything that won’t go all pixelated on fabric. She narrows it down to a select few and gets to work. In all her years as a cheerleader, Santana’s become well acquainted with showing a little spirit and her decorating skills are on point!

When the night of the match finally comes, Santana arrives to the building in her freshly bedazzled t-shirt donning pictures of Brittany’s face along side a giant Number One Nerd as well as a poster decorated in a similar fashion. There’s no denying who Brittany’s number one fan truly is.

“Santana!” Tina greets her at the entrance. “Hi! This is a first. Oh wow, I love your shirt!”

“Just being a supportive girlfriend,” Santana grins – loving the publicity she’ll be sure to get with Tina around. “I never get a chance to go to Brittany’s matches with cheer practice. Thought I should go all out.”

“It’s a tough match tonight,” Tina tells her. “I’m sure you know that already. The Brainiacs will be grateful for the support.”

“Brittany will crush it,” Santana replies confidently.

When Santana gets inside, she quickly finds a spot near the front so Brittany won’t have any trouble spotting her in the crowd. Not like she could when Santana’s holding a bright blue poster.

She walks the narrow aisle like a tightrope and settles in an empty seat between two older couples. They’re probably here to support someone on either team or maybe just here because they lost a bet – who knows. Santana, however, is here on a mission and there’s nothing more exciting than the suspense in embarrassing the crap out of Brittany.

Once the match begins, an announcer strolls out to introduce the teams.

Santana doesn’t pay him any mind or the geeks that slowly start making their entrance until she hears Brittany’s name. She’s on her feet in an instant as she goes into full cheerleader mode.

“Go Brittany!” She calls out – her voice louder than the sound of applause – as she waves her poster excitedly. She can feel those around her staring, but she doesn’t care because the look of complete disbelief on Brittany’s face is even better.

Suddenly the couple next to her stands and starts to cheer, “Go Brittany!”

Santana eyes them curiously, wondering if she just started something or they’re just chiming in along with her. They’re just as loud, if not louder, but what’s even more curious is the way Brittany shies away from the attention.

Still though, Santana continues to wave as Brittany walks across the stage to her seat. It’s not until Brittany’s seated that Santana tops off her antics by blowing her a kiss then watches with a satisfied grin as she sees Brittany’s face go red.

Safe to say, Santana won this round.

Despite the fact that academic decathlon club is just a glorified way of saying trivia team, Santana’s kind of surprised by how well Brittany actually does. The girl hasn’t missed a question yet which is saying something because Santana hasn’t heard of half of the things these questions consist of.

Another thing that sticks out to Santana is the fact that Brittany’s the only girl on the team. She wonders what that must be like, especially considering most of the guys on Brittany’s team seem really…fucking pretentious.

Their team captain? An absolute dickhead, Santana’s sure of it judging by the way he didn’t clap for Brittany’s correct answer. Some team captain he is and the others just follow his lead.

And Santana doesn’t know why, but seeing the way they interact with Brittany just makes her want to cheer even louder. She doesn’t even care when the rest of Brittany’s team glare at her, she’ll probably never see them again after this.

“Go Brittany!” Santana yells when Brittany answers correctly again. This time she makes eye contact with the couple next to her and explains, “That’s my girlfriend.”

The woman blinks, strangely similarly to Brittany, “I didn’t know Brittany was dating anyone.”

“Brittany’s dating someone?” The man next to her asks. “What happened to Artie?”

Santana tilts her head to the side, “Who’s Artie?”

The couple share a look while Santana starts connecting the dots. The woman’s blonde hair and striking blue eyes, the man’s t-shirt donning Brittany’s name and face – which she didn’t realize until now.

Suddenly, it dawns on her.

“Wait. Are you,” Santana stammers. “Are you Brittany’s parents?”

The woman smiles as she nods, “I’m her mom, Whitney. This is Pierce, her dad.”

The man next to her waves, “Hi. I’m Pierce.”

“I just said that,” Whitney whispers to him.

“Did you? I didn’t hear.”

Santana’s stunned, unsure of what she’s meant to do. She already introduced herself as Brittany’s girlfriend but Brittany doesn’t need a fake girlfriend – does she? And who the hell is Artie?

She’s starting to panic a little as Brittany’s reaction earlier starts to make sense. All this time, Santana’s been sitting next to her parents and she couldn’t do a thing about it! And when it comes to parents, she’s not like Brittany. She’s never been the girl people take home to meet their parents!

This is unknown territory and she can’t believe she’s even thinking it but where’s Brittany when she needs her?

“And you are?” Whitney asks – breaking Santana out of her thoughts.

Santana blinks, “Sorry?”

“Your name, dear.”

“Oh!” Santana blushes, “Duh. Sorry, I’m Santana.”

“Pretty name,” Whitney compliments.

“Santana,” Pierce repeats the name like he’s trying to commit it to memory.

Santana nods, wondering if she should be giving them the well-rehearsed spiel about their relationship or if she should just wait for Brittany. She’s really at a loss here and keeps looking to Brittany for some type of signal, but the girl is too focused on the trivia.

“So you have classes together?” Whitney asks, “You and Brittany?”

Santana swallows dryly, “Yeah. We have a couple together.”

“That’s nice,” Whitney replies. “You know our Brittany is the first in the family to go to college? Technically she’s gone to two so that’s even better.”

Santana’s brows rise at the information, “I-I didn’t know that, no.”

“She’s really something special,” She tells Santana. “We try to go to as many of her matches as we can. She’s just so smart.”

“We don’t know where she gets it from,” Pierce jokes. “Definitely not me.”

Whitney sighs through her smile, “It did take us all by surprise.”

Santana briefly remembers her and Brittany’s conversation on their flight back to campus. There was something about Brittany being left behind, about people not seeing her potential and giving up. It makes her wonder if her parents were lumped into that group, although it’s hard to imagine such a nice couple doing something like that to Brittany.

When the match ends awhile later – another win for the Brainiacs – Santana anxiously awaits Brittany’s entrance. So far the conversation with Brittany’s parents never exceeded surface level stuff which is a relief but she can tell there are questions and she doesn’t think she can answer them on her own.

“Mom, dad,” Brittany greets. “I didn’t know you’d be here.”

“We thought we’d surprise you since we’ve missed your last couple of matches,” Whitney says.

Brittany nods and looks to Santana.

“We had similar ideas,” Santana explains. “Being that I’m a supportive girlfriend and all.”

“I see,” Brittany catches on and wraps her arm around Santana’s waist. “It was a great surprise.”

Whitney and Pete look between the two and start to smile.

“Why didn’t you tell us you were dating someone, Britt-Britt?” Pierce asks.

Santana’s brows rise at the nickname, “Yeah Britt-Britt. Wanna keep me a secret?”

Brittany forces a laugh as she subtly pinches Santana’s side.

“Kidding,” Santana amends.

“I was going to tell you this weekend,” Brittany explains to her parents. “I’ve been really focused on preparing for this match. It’s been a pretty busy week.”

“That’s okay, dear,” Whitney replies. “We just want to be kept in the loop.”

Brittany frowns, “Yeah sure. Well, we’ve got to get going.”

“What?” Santana quirks her brow.

Whitney and Pierce respond similarly, “You don’t want to go for dinner or ice cream or something? You know, like we used to?”

“Santana and I have plans already,” Brittany tells them. “Maybe tomorrow though if you’re still around.”

Whitney and Pierce exchange a look, “We were going to drive back tomorrow morning.”

“Right,” Brittany shrugs. “Well maybe next time then.”

Santana watches as Brittany begins saying her goodbyes to her parents. She can sense the awkward tension and it makes her feel weird for intruding, but it doesn’t last long as Brittany loops her arms with hers and drags her away.

“Uh, what was that about?” Santana questions when they’re outside. “You don’t want to hang out with your parents?”

Brittany ignores the questions as they get to walking, “Sorry if they were annoying or anything.”

Santana grows even more confused, “They weren’t. They just want to cheer you on. How's that annoying?”

“I forgot I was talking to the captain of the cheer squad,” Brittany deflects again with a smirk.

“I'm not captain.”

Brittany looks to her, “You're not?"

Santana shakes her head, “Nope. People suspect favoritism when your step dad is the football coach.”

Brittany scoffs, “What's he have to do with cheerleading?”

“Exactly,” Santana says before getting back on topic. “Anyway, your parents seem sweet.”

“I guess.”

Santana looks at her, “No?”

It takes Brittany a second to answer, “They just, they haven't always been there for me growing up. They had no problem handing me off when something more important came up, you know?”

Santana shakes her head, “What could be more important than their kid?”

“Beats me,” Brittany shrugs. “But I guess they're trying to make up for that now.”

Santana nods, noticing the forlorn look on Brittany’s face and how misplaced it looks. Her comment gets her thinking about her dad and how he wasn’t around that often either, but he never let her forget how proud he was of her accomplishments. Even if he wasn’t around a lot, Santana never doubted how he felt about her.

With Brittany, she doesn’t think she returns the sentiment.

“Well, that's pretty fucked up,” Santana admits. Brittany looks back at her questioningly but Santana only shrugs, “I'd totally be there for my kid especially if they were half as smart as you.”

Brittany starts to grin and that forlornness suddenly disappears and morphs into something Santana’s a lot more familiar with.

“Didn't know you knew how to give compliments,” Brittany quips.

Santana rolls her eyes, “And there you go making me regret it.”

#Hate to Date #Brittana #Brittana Fanfiction #Enemies to Lovers #Fake Dating AU

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astrovian · 3 years

Text

the official ranking of RA photoshoot outfits (pt. 1)

as @dykethorin said when I first proposed doing this particular ranking, “Some real Decisions™️ were made” with these shoots y’all

all photoshoot outfits (for part one) under the cut

the official ranking of Daniel Miller outfits here

the official ranking of Adam Price outfits here

the official ranking of Claude Becker outfits here

guys, I’m crying with laughter

hey quick question: what the fuck was this photoshoot??? (and also I need current RA in these poses)

it’s real nice to see a fun, loosey-goosey RA (before he established himself in the broody-character archetype) but there are so many questionable fashion choices here

when I started this list I had two options:

1) allow some leeway to the older photoshoots because, let’s be real, the early 2000s were an atrocious time for fashion that a lot of us would most rather forget we participated in

2) judge them by today’s standards, which is harsh but some of these outfits deserve it

naturally, I chose option #2

It’s so hard to even pick where to start. the too-loose pants? the ill-fitting suit jacket? The untucked dress shirt that is for some god-forsaken reason undone in two separate directions??

I have chosen one thing that sums the outfit up as a whole: what monster decided to put the shirt collar over the suit jacket????

the jazz hands scream “hey I’m a FUN guy” but the suit screams “I’m the yo-pro asshole at the office who is so unreliable you’re pretty sure some nepotism must surely have had an influence during the hiring process”

I originally said ‘I guess we should be glad there’s no surfer necklace’ but then I had the horrifying realisation that it’s a 50/50 shot as to whether that would improve this outfit or make it worse. and you know when there’s even slimmest chance a surfer necklace could improve an outfit somehow that it’s time to take a good hard look at yourself

1/10 just because this photoshoot made me genuinely laugh out loud

wait I’m sorry, what-

how on god’s green earth is this the same photoshoot (?) as guys, I’m crying with laughter????

the great thing about these lists is that you are getting my genuine reactions as I progress down the images. I had no idea this was the same photoshoot (?) until approximately 10 seconds after writing guys, I’m crying with laughter

this perfectly encapsulates the duality of man – one moment it’s all goofy jazz hands and the next it’s a hunk-of-the-week moment

this man and guys, I’m crying with laughter are the equivalent of looking at pictures of yourself in high school vs. in your 20s/30s/at your prime. the whiplash is insane

and why is he in front of barred windows?? it appears they were afraid of what would happen if this hunk escaped into the general population

I still can’t believe they kept the collar over the suit jacket though

I’m so conflicted guys, the urge to numerically rank this terrible outfit is strong but uh… as per usual shirtless ones aren’t fair/10

revenge of the killer surfer necklace

do you ever look back at a specific moment in time and are so thankful that someone took one tiny action? one small thing they did in the heat of the moment that probably seemed innocuous at the time but had far-reaching consequences? for example, it might something as simple as deciding to take a umbrella on a bright sunny day only for it to be extremely useful on the way home when the weather turns

this is how I feel about the person who decided RA could leave that top button closed for this shoot

if you squint, you can see the surfer necklace under that top button. and thank god you have to squint

this is such an early 2000s look though. that shirt by itself is fine and would actually look killer with a properly fitted suit nowadays. it’s the shirt dress and loose denim look with makes no sense to me

2/10 for a pretty uninspiring early 2000s outfit

revenge of the uh…

from the same shoot as revenge of the killer surfer necklace this loses .1 of a mark for adding a jacket, while pretty innocuous, to an already busy outfit

1.9/10

were we really that afraid of legs?

why were we, as a society, so obsessed with loose, ill-fitting pants? why were we so desperate to conceal legs from the general population? what secrets were we trying to hide? I understand the comfort factor on the hand, but on the other did anyone actually have eyes

the sneakers/suit combo I can definitely live with. but those pants (that I’m convinced must be pyjama pants in another life) turns it all into a sloppy, blurry mess

2.7/10

is it a bird? is it a plane? no, it’s… a floating RA?

what is it about photoshoots in the early 2000s where they just make no damn sense. it’s my opinion that the theme/concept of a shoot should not overshadow the subject, and that’s the correct opinion (as well as being the exact opposite as to what’s happening here)

maybe there was a hint or reason as to why floating wizard RA exists in the article that this shoot presumably came with, but I don’t get it. clearly I’m far too literal of a person and need to embrace my inner artist

looks pretty, still weird

moving on the entire point of this post, the outfit, I uh,… oh god

I’m pretty sure this the same (and similar, if not) outfit RA wore in the North & South behind-the-scenes, and how we as a society went from John Thornton’s stiff collar and top hat to this is amazing

maybe we were so obsessed with period dramas back then because it was a nice alternative to indulge our eyes in when we had to face the harsh, cold reality of modern fashion at the time

anyway – trust me, while I am all for a man in a necklace, let’s pray surfer necklaces never come back 2.9/10

I genuinely was looking up “pinstriped jacket jokes” because I couldn’t think of anything off the top of my head but then I realised I don’t need a joke here because pinstriped jackets are a joke all by themselves

I feel like there may be a situation where pinstriped suit jackets might grow on me, but this is not that situation

also I don’t really know where I stand on the belt, but I certainly think I’m leaning towards the ‘why’ part of the scale. if you’re gonna make a belt that prominent in a photoshoot, at least make it a fun belt

3/10

I’m noticing a trend in these photoshoots and it’s these horrific backgrounds

I will admit that the non-patterned suit jacket is going with the jeans a lot better here. but now that my attention isn’t focused on that, all I can see are the dress shoes. WHY DID YOU PUT DRESS SHOES WITH STRAIGHT-LEGGED JEANS???

please someone I am begging you, can we as a society get to tapered jeans already

3.3/10

did RA genuinely ever get put into any clothes that actually fitted him properly at this point in time?

look, I know I’ve been picking on the bootcut jeans & loose attire that plagued us in the early 2000s (or 2006, to be specific to this photoshoot). what can I say, it’s the low-hanging fruit. or loose-hanging, as the case may be

I do appreciate that rich brown leather jacket and that smile. but that’s where it stops. someone take dress shirts and dress shoes away from bootcut denim PLEASE

3.5/10

this is the bad-boy from your hometown in every rom-com ever

as with well this in an interesting development that I can’t say I disapprove of below, the lower rating is simply because from what we can see, it’s just a plain shirt. however, that dipped v-neck? mm-mmm

look at that smirk. this man knows what he’s doing to us, dammit.

why do you persist in hurting us this way 4/10

well this in an interesting development that I can’t say I disapprove of

god bless the person who said we need this shirt wet and clinging and only half-soaked

I’m so sad that I have to give this such a low ranking because uh… we’ve established I have a weakness for those biceps

this does also get bonus points for the creativity of “only this portion of your shirt needs to be wet for your close-up” but at the end of the day it is a solitary grey t-shirt even if it is floating in an attractive sea of muscles

4.5/10

the photographer really said ‘who gives a crap about the clothes’, huh?

an interesting shirt! but as much as I love RA’s face, we should be able to see more of the shirt (and the outfit) because uh… it’s hard to make a judgement call on a photoshoot outfit without that

also, it’s just so hard to concentrate on some of these with RA staring into my soul like that

*sigh* 4.6/10

hello sir, are you as kinky as your shirt?

this is one of the few occasions on which I will give the bootleg baggy jeans a pass. interesting choice to go shoeless for all outfits in this shoot – but the way the shirt is all crumpled is annoying me an incessant amount. I am begging you, someone pass this stylist an ironing board PLEASE

4.7/10 for a crinkle-cut RA

all that’s missing is the beer cans

I’m not sure of the short sleeves here. I think with the shirt open as well my brain doesn’t know where to look

HOWEVER, this is an RA from the early 2000s that I can get behind – largely because he’s not drowning in his denim

the nice, plain belt which matches with the shirt? excellent

interesting choice to go with the bare feet – this entire look (and the quality of that concrete floor) screams ‘we’re chilling at a summer party in your parent’s basement in the early 2000s’ if not for one thing – that couch is way too nice looking. am I being too pedantic about this? no. If you’re gonna go for the whole basement party look, you need a couch that’s falling apart and has at least one questionable stain on it

that being said, I would hang out in this man’s basement

it’s a shirtless one so once again, I cannot give a numerical answer/10

I’m not sure if this man is dangerous or is just an idiot

they may have been wanting RA to embrace his inner Daniel Miller here but that is NOT a jacket that should have its collar popped or if it is, it definitely should not be popped that much. just turn the intensity of that pop down by… at least 35%

this look is telling me to embrace my inner lacy, ruffled collar that men in England used to wear around the 1500 - 1600s. I hate it and refute it with every part of my soul

this is what happens when you embrace your inner Daniel a little bit too much 5.6/10

the return of the leg monster

not much to say about this except once again we are terrified to put RA’s legs into well-fitted pants. what secrets are hiding underneath those voluminous billows? will we ever know?

5.8/10

the one that crushed my hopes and dreams and then spat on my corpse

so I admit it, I got really excited because I thought that this was a leopard print shirt and I was like “this is something I did NOT know that I needed until right now”, even if I would argue that it could have been nice in a little bit of a brighter colour. no matter, I thought it was a nice subtle addition to this plain suit and was just very excited at the prospect of RA rocking leopard print even though I almost always hate leopard print in single every form it comes in

and then. upon zooming. a disappointing paisley. sorry, paisley lovers. I hate it

I would also argue here that the pocket square would have been nice in a plain, bright colour rather than another patterned item thrown into the mix. come on stylists, stop letting me down with your pocket squares

also if there is a point where a suit can be too shiny, I think we’ve found it. I could wax floors with that fabric and I’d rather be thinking about RA’s talent & good looks rather than imagining him being used as a human mop

the hand porn is uh… strong with this one 6/10

the hand porn one

the ring is a nice subtle touch but I can’t decide where I stand on this tie. for me, the checks are just a *wee* tad too small. so small that it I’m scared it will turn into one of those optical illusions with a number in it if I stare at it the tie for too long

the pocket square could also have not tried so hard to blend in with the rest of the suit jacket. give me some colour, baby!

Richard really needs to put his hand down so I can actually concentrate on the clothes 6.5/10

I’m just dotty for this one (I’m so sorry y’all)

so suave. so shiny. I wanna stroke that fabric so bad, it looks so soft

the dots bring a nice yet understated touch to a monotone outfit and GOOD LORD those thighs

they just had to pose him like this to torture us, I’m convinced. also they call him a “commanding gentleman” in the subtitle which is really just unnecessary to verbalise when he’s sitting like this

Someone put me in a rom-com with this man 7.2/10

the modern magician (at least he ain’t floating this time)

I know that the hat should be the focus of this shoot but I can’t get over those shoes

tangentially related, I have never understood why they make men’s dress shoes so excessively long and pointed. these certainly aren’t a good example of this but uh… I don’t understand why men’s dress shoes are clown shoes

I think part of what’s throwing me off is the sockless look. normally I can handle (and even love) it with some shoes but there’s something about the hem of those jeans and those shoes that turn them into slippers when worn sockless

I love the two-tone scarf but what really excites me is the plaid shirt that we can barely see. I’m eternally sad that they had RA hid it in this pose. and also, come one. you could’ve at least gotten a chair with an actual back to it. that can’t be good for his back at all

the one bonus of this outfit is the hat because when do we ever get RA in hats?? and hats that aren’t baseball caps?? a nice, rare touch. but also one which hides most of that face so…

can we talk about the fact that my gut tells me those jean cuffs have been deliberately turned up at the front and all I want in life is to reach into this image and flip them down 7.5/10

*pterodactyl noises*

holy macaroni. that demin shirt. and this shirt’s even a nice lighter denim colour??? and the v-neck?? SIR

I know he’s worn some faux-denim shirts in the last few years (see: Uncle Vanya rehearsal pics) but as outerwear? knocked it out of the park in this one

also I know this is a shirt not a jacket, but this shirt made me think about how I never realised how much I needed RA in jean jackets until today

It could be argued that a nice crew neck cut would work slightly better than the v-neck but that’s really a personal choice

a lovely respite for my weary eyes 7.7/10

a truly, truly blessed image. the sort of image that would bring you endless good luck

I know I’ve given a lot of pants crap on this list but these. these are the ones. these are doing the lord’s work for sure. and god bless the person who decided to shoot from this particular side angle.

and then the shirt?? I’m honestly afraid it may rip if he moves. I could leave or take the tie though. it’s not adding a whole lot to this outfit and I would much rather that shirt be uh… open at the top for a glimpse of uh… well. you know.

this RA outfit laughs in the face of all those early 2000s RA outfits 8.1/10

me running to open my phone every time an RA-related notification pops up

my only sadness is that this shoot was in black & white. we need more action-shot RA shoots!

also the subtle plaid?? *chef’s kiss*

well, I said ‘my only sadness’ but is it also me or are both ends of that tie strangely square? that is throwing me off from an otherwise spectacular photoshoot outfit, I won’t lie

8.5/10 for a man of action

this is what we all like to think we look on the way to work. hate to break it to ya - we don’t

god, that wind-ruffled hair. the rustic look provided by both the suit material & the photo editing. that stare over the top of that coffee mug. the casual ‘I just picked up the paper on my way out this morning’

words fail me

would it be weird if I said I would pay money to be able to run my hands through anyone’s hair that looks as soft and wind-swept as that 8.9/10

the comfiest RA

I love. love. love this outfit, especially the sweater. the pant colour goes extremely well with this one and I’m so glad they didn’t just stick him in jeans. the is the softest, comfiest RA and I love it. this is an RA who you can simultaneously share a beer and takeaway with at home, cuddling up on the sofa while you watch a film, as well as an RA who will take you out to eat fancy pasta at an upscale restaurant.

the choice of sitting on a stool is also great. my only real gripe here is the watch (and even that’s a minor one, really). the watch isn’t THAT bad, but it’s chunky face reminds me slightly of the watches boys in my class would wear in middle school. the watch could be a *wee wee tad* slicker, but really, I’m nitpicking here (and this is the only time I will admit to it)

the more I look at it, the more this becomes one of my fav RA pics. the slight smile. the relaxed pose. the hint of hand porn

weirdly, for some reason this picture gives me the exact same comfy and ‘just chilling out’ feeling as when I hear the song “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None the Richer 9.5/10

#richard armitage #yes this is a multi-part one because uh... there's a lot of photoshoots guys #also yes most of the early 2000s ones ended up at the bottom and I refuse to apologise for that

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tinyboxxtink · 3 years

Text

“Helpless” *Part 8*

Note: I really wanted to get to the REAL crescendo, but it was already getting long so-- look forward to it! I promise it’s worth this work up.

Mater List:

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 9

Tag List:

@wanniiieeee

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@word-scribbless

@dumauier

-----

The rings felt like they went on forever; one, two, three, four….SHIT please please please…

Hello you’ve reached Rafael Barba…

You dropped the phone, tears stinging your eyes. You debated texting him, but what would you say?

“Hey Raf so my insane roommate is holding me hostage with a gun, so if you could call me back that’d be greeeeaaat!”

He had to answer, he just had to. You didn’t know what you’d do if you were forced to take Arianna alone. Actually yes you did, you’d go with her. And you’d never see Rafael again. Maybe if you texted him.

“CALL ME. ASAP. 911.” send.

Not 30 seconds later, your phone was vibrating in your hand.

“Miss me already?” You heard him smiling through the phone, but there was no time.

“Raf, listen to me. I--I-I….God I don’t even--” You got up and started pacing the room.

“Wow okay calm down, breathe carino. What’s going on? Was Arianna upset?”

“Yeah you could say that,” you tried remaining calm. “She’s holding me hostage,”

“....What do you mean by she’s ‘holding you hostage’?”

“I mean she put a gun to my face and told me to pack all my shit because we’re leaving New York forever!” You shook your hands, despite the fact that he couldn’t see you.

“WHAT?! Please tell me you’re being dramatic--”

“Do I SOUND like I’m joking, Rafael?”

“I don’t understand, you said that Arianna would never--”

“Yeah well, I said a lot of things. And I really didn’t think she would hurt me. Actually I don’t entirely know she’ll actually use it on me, but I’m not about to take any chances,” You twisted your hair in your fingers nervously.

“So how are you calling me?”

“I told her I’m packing,” You started putting clothes in one of the boxes Arianna had given you.

“You’re going with her?!”

“What choice do I have right now, Raf?! What did you want me to say ‘No Arianna I’m sorry I can’t do that, please shoot me right here,’?” You scoffed, grabbing more stuff and tossing it in the box.

“Okay I’m calling Liv--”

“NO! You can’t send cops here. I'm not entirely sure she won’t shoot cops. I’ve never seen her like this before,” You stopped what you were doing and put both hands on the phone.

“Ok well I’m coming back there then--”

“NO, she will ABSOLUTELY shoot you,” You hissed into the phone.

“Then what the hell am I supposed to do?!”

“I DON’T KNOW!!!! I didn’t...I didn’t think that far. I just-- needed your voice,” you started to cry, sinking down to the floor.

“Y/N….” Rafael’s voice tried to soothe you, he hated hearing you cry.

“Y/N? Do you want this straightener?” You heard Arianna open the door, and you dropped the phone.

“Uh….Um, what?” you poked your head up over your bed.

The straightener? Yeah sure,” you faked your best fake smile.

“Are you crying?” Arianna stepped into the room and walked towards you. Panicked she’d see you talking to Rafael. You pressed END on the call and slid the phone under the bed.

“Um, yeah Arianna my best friend just held a fucking gun to my face, that tends to be upsetting,” you snapped.

“Aw, sweetie. I’m sorry. You know I didn’t wanna do that,” she offered you a hand.

“Right,” you rolled your eyes but let her help you up.

“I didn’t! I just...I need you to do this, okay? It’s for the best,” she assured you.

“Look Arianna I’m already doing what you want, can you please at least leave me alone to...come to terms with it?” you snapped again, grabbing another box and shoving stuff in it.

“Sure baby girl, I’m sorry,” She nodded and headed towards the door, but her eyes noticed something on the floor.

“Hmm...I guess you won’t need this right now,” She bent down and picked up your phone that had slid straight through to the other side when you tossed it. Damn wood floors!!!

“I...I…” you had no words; this was like a nightmare. Even worse, it began vibrating in Arianna’s hand.

“Well well well, someone’s popular,” She smirked, answering the phone on speaker.. “Y/N’s phone!”

“Ari? Ari, where's Y/N?�� you could hear Rafael’s voice.

“She’s right here, abogado. She’s busy right now,” she spoke into the phone, looking at your sad face.

“What did you do to her?!”

“Me? What did YOU do to her?! Two days ago she was my ride or die, now you stick your tongue in her ear and she wants to run off into the sunset with you,” she yelled into the phone.

“Raf I’m fine,” You called out.

“See? She’s fine. I would never hurt her. I’m taking her away so you can’t hurt us anymore,” she scoffed.

“She’s not yours!”

“SHE IS MINE,” Arianna screamed, then looked at you shocked she had just lost it like that.

“I’m sorry, babe. I mean you’re your own person, you’re just….my best friend,”

“Yeah sure that’s what you meant,” you could just hear Rafael rolling his eyes.

“SHUT UP. I won’t hurt my best friend but I will hurt you, and anyone you decide to send after us,”

“Look, Arianna. I get it, you’re scared. You feel backed into a corner, and you’re just reacting. I understand…”

“Are you seriously trying to use the ‘hostage speech’ bullshit on me? We know ALL about mind games, asshole,”

“No! I’m--Okay fine kind of, but I just--- look I swear to God I will leave you alone, just let Y/N go and you can leave town,”

“No no no, see I can’t do that. I need her,”

“Yeah you need me to manipulate people for you,”

“Really, Y/N? I could do a lot of things for money,” She acted hurt. “I just want the one person in this world who I love with me,”

“You don’t love me Ari, I don’t know if you ever did,” you bit your lip.

“OF COURSE I DO!! How can you say that?!” she cried.

“You don’t do THIS to someone you love, Ari!!” you screamed.

“Desperate times, babe,” she nodded her head.

“NO! Not desperate times! Nobody is threatening you with ANYTHING, Arianna!! It’s in your head! We both already told you, nobody is going to come after you,”

“I swear,” Rafael chimed in.

“SHUT UP, the both of you!” Ari screamed. “Look, I’m sorry that you two started some kind of little rom com, but if my life has taught me anything is you never trust ANYONE, let alone a COP,”

“He’s not a cop, he's a lawyer,” you muttered.

“Really? You wanna argue semantics with me right now?”

“She’s just nervous, Ari calm down don’t do anything stupid,”

“I’m not going to hurt her, dickhead. She’s my collateral,” Again, Arianna tripped over herself after speaking before thinking.

“I mean, my best friend,” “Look I’m sorry, but she stays with me. We’re a packaged deal, and you’re not going to come between us anymore. Lose this number,”

“No no no Ari--!!!” Rafael’s voice was cut off by the smashing of your phone all over the floor of the apartment.

“God DAMMIT Ari!!! Really?!” you screamed, gathering the pieces as if they would materialize in your hands.

“I’m sorry, that was harsh baby girl. I’ll buy you a new one when we get outta here, I promise,”

“I don’t want a-- you have lost it, Arianna,” tears choked your throat angrily.

“Yeah, well, it is what it is. And now, thanks to your little shenanigans, we have to speed this up,” Arianna walked back to her room and started putting her full boxes in the living room.

“Be ready in an HOUR, and whatever is not packed is getting left here!”

---

After an hour, all of your belongings were divided up into 3 boxes in your now mostly bare living room.

“What are you gonna do about the furniture, just leave it?” You gestured to the still fully furnished living room. All of your knick knacks may have been packed, but there was still a giant TV and a couch along with a futon and a chaise lounge.

“Don’t you worry about it, I’ve got it covered,” Arianna replied, gathering more of her boxes. How did she have so much more stuff than you?

“Covered HOW?” you raised an eyebrow.

“I have people,” she simply replied.

“What people?”

“The same people that are going to help us out until we find somewhere to live,” she explained.

“We HAVE somewhere to live, Ari,” you gestured to the apartment.

“Not anymore we don’t,” she shook her head.

“Why is it you know so many ‘people’ but I was never allowed to have friends other than you?”

“Pfft allowed, Y/N? Really? I’m not your mother,” she rolled her eyes.

“Could’ve fooled me…” you muttered.

“Look it’s not my fault you don’t know how to interact with human beings unless you’re scamming them or falling in love with them,”

“That is so--”

“Yo Arianna,” a guy in a leather jacket appeared in your doorway. He couldn’t be more stereotypical, his hair slicked back, a cigarette in his left ear, a red bandana sticking out of his jean pocket.

“Hey love, just take it all downstairs. We’ll be down in a second,” She sweetly told the guy, blowing him air kisses as he grabbed a box.

“...Are you for real with that guy?” You tried not to laugh.

“HEY. Frankie is a nice guy,” Arianna defended him.

“Yeah, a nice guy who’s probably killed ten people,” you rolled your eyes.

“Not TEN, maybe two…”

“Oh my god,”

“Just...shut up and grab a box,” she hit you and gestured towards the boxes.

You grabbed a box of your stuff and headed downstairs, where you were met with three more thug looking guys.

“I don’t like this Ari…” you whispered.

“Hey, we’re safe with them,” she assured you.

“That’s what I’m afraid of,” you muttered, looking down the street. You knew Rafael would come for you; you hated that he would, but you knew it.

You just hope it wouldn’t be too late.

#rafael barba #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba imagine #law and order special victims unit #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #helpless

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itsarealshitshow · 4 years

Text

Stray Kids’ reaction to their best friend randomly admitting their feelings/asking them out

Requested by anon

Pairing: Stray Kids x reader

Warnings: None

Author: Admin Artemis

Bang Chan

“Okay! Okay, my turn to pick the game!” You say after you finish laughing and you calm down. Tonight was game night with Chan, and you never get tired of the never ending laughter. “Let’s play truth of dare.. If you’re up for it.”

“Of course I’m up for it! That sounds like you’re trying to challenge me.” He points out in mock shock. You shake your head, but he beings the game without another comment. “Ok, would you rather lick peanut butter off a stranger’s feet, or lick a lolly pop that fell in dirt.”

“Both disgusting, but I’ll take the lolly pop one, because dirt is dirt.. can’t be any worse than PB & toe jam..” You both laugh at your comment before shivering at the thought. You take a deep breath before asking your choices, and speedily ask ‘Would you rather kiss me or Felix..”

“Haha, oh definitely you.” He replies, laughing at the thought of kissing one of his best friends.

“Prove it.” You say, with a smirk tugging at your lips. At this he stops laughing and stares at you in shock. He doesn’t know what to say and stutters a reply. Wide eyes frantically search your face, not knowing what to find. Your laugh knocks him out of his confusion, and he leans forward to kiss you. You freeze, and he freezes, wondering if you were actually serious, but when you kiss back, he smiles into the kiss.

Lee Minho (Lee Know)

“Urgh,” you grunt, falling down once again during your practice, “I can’t seem to get this move right.”

“Do you need help? Its a jump move, so I can spot you, make sure you don’t fall again.” Minho offers, gently pulling you back to your feet and laughing at your pouty face. He knows you don’t like messing up your choreography, and this particular dance was hard for you to learn.

“Oh my, yes, thank you, that would be wonderful.” Your pout fades away in a sigh of relief when you hear his offer. You start the music again, and start dancing. Minho has watched you countless times, and knows the parts you struggle with, so he follows along easily and supports you when you need it.

Your big jump is coming up, you prepare yourself. You concentrate on your steps, and your moves, but Minho’s hands grazes your waist at the wrong moment, distracting you. You misstep, and you prepare for impact with the floor. When you don’t feel the bang, you open your eyes, and breath a sigh of relief when you remember you had a spotter. Minho’s face is inches from your own, and you can feel his warm breath of your face.

“You should kiss me.” You breath out. His eyes go wide, and he drops you the last couple of inches to the floor and he falls backwards.

“Wha-woah-why? What did you say?” He stares at you from his tumbled position on the floor. You repeat your question, and he’s flabbergasted at your forward question. You smile and shrug, before pulling the both of you up off the floor. Now face to face, Minho seems to regain some of his confidence, and leans in, testing the waters. You quickly swing your arms around his neck, pulling him in, and seal your feelings with a kiss. After that, you go back to dancing, and you both work in harmony, permitting you to properly finish your dance.

Seo Changbin

Out on your regular coffee run with Changbin, you notice how many people stare at him as you walk by. A handful of them were even bold enough to come up and ask for his number, which he gladly handed out leaving them with his signature wink and smile. You stood by watching them chat him up, completely ignoring your presence. You quietly comment on it, mentioning how popular he seems to be this morning.

“I mean, of course! Why wouldn’t people look at me? Have you seen me?�� He asks, as he strikes some of his favorite ‘bad boy’ poses, making you laugh.

“I mean, can’t argue with that, you do look hot enough to kiss.” He laughs with that, continuing to flex and exaggerate his muscles and overall appearance. He looks up at you, and notices the blush that now cover your cheeks. He pauses, and realizes you were being serious with that statement. You lock eyes, but you quickly look away. You giggle at his poses, when they suddenly become less ‘dark Changbin’ and more ‘baby Changbin’ showing off his more adorable side. His cheeks flush pink as you continue your walk back. Your hand reaches out to his and you see his face go bright pink. You smile and reach up to kiss his cheek and watch his smile grow.

Hwang Hyunjin

Snuggling up on the couch is one of your favorite things to do on a quiet evening. Especially when Hyunjin decides to join. The movie on the screen is a cheesy rom-com, the ones Hyunjin likes to tease you about, but you know that he secretly likes them just as much. Throughout the movie, silence usually fills the air, but when a romantic scene comes on, Hyunjin tries to diffuse the awkwardness by joking about how unrealistic and cheesy these scenes are. You turn around, raising your head from his lap, and give him a disapproving look.

“What,” he asks, “Oh come on, don’t tell me you like these things!”

“I do! And whats wrong with that?” You counter back. “They’re adorable, and sweet, and I always imagine doing that with my significant other.”

“Ohhh, you and what date?” He laughs at that. It’s widely known in your group that you’re the single friend who never dates.

“Hopefully you, one day.” You mumble, hoping he doesn’t hear, and pout at your lack of relationship. Laughter follows your comment, and you realize it might not have been as quiet as you hoped.

“You like ME! Ha! That’s funny,” he pauses, and you think he’s going to mock you, “because I like you too.”

Your head whips up to face him, and he smiles at you. You look for any hint that he may be taunting you, but he looks genuinely happy. You smile back and lay your head back down on his lap, reaching to grab his hand. Your fingers interlock, and your faces shine like stars for the rest of the movie.

Han Jisung (Han)

“Hey, um, Han, can I talk to you for a moment?” you say shyly. The boys were very rowdy in the dorm, and Han barely heard the question, until he sees a nervous face looking back at him. He quickly stands up and you lead to another room, where no one was around to disturb them.

“What’s wrong,” Han asks gently, sitting down on a chair, “did something happen? What can I do to help?” y/n’s heart fills with guilt, knowing that if this didn’t end well, Han would be too sweet to loose as a friend, and his refusal would hurt all the more, despite him trying not to be hurtful.

“So.. I’ve been spending a lot of time here, right? With you and the boys. And well.. I don’t know how to put this without putting you in an awkward position, and I don’t want it to be awkward if this doesn’t end well, and then I come back, but I’ve realized something-”

“You have a crush on someone in the dorm.” he interrupts. The disappointment in his eyes is clear, his whole body slouches, “I’m happy for you, who is it?”

“You” His whole body tenses, and it goes dead silent in the room. His eyes look up, to make sure he heard that right. When he sees no doubt, he stands up and takes a step closer, until they’re face to face. He slowly leans in and kisses you. Both faces light up with joy.

“So..” he says, “is this the ending you had in mind?”

Lee Felix (Lee Felix or Lee Yongbok)

“Oi Felix, wanna go out?” you ask, finally building up the courage. Felix stays lying on the couch, phone in hand, not looking up at his best friend.

“Yeah sure, what are you in the mood for? We could order in too. Kinda in a lazy mood, but walking might do me some good, you know, gotta burn off all the calories in gonna get eating-”

“No, on a date.”

“On a date,” his curiosity gets the best of him and his head pops up, his eyes go big and round, “with who?”

“um.. I w-was thinking me..?” you stutter shyly, hoping their friendship wasn’t just completely destroyed by this one question. Felix quickly stands up and hugs y/n, lifting them off their seat, spinning them around before he slowly sets them down. Shock covers both of their faces, but shine bright with smiles.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

Kim Seungmin

Seungmin quickly rushed past you in the dorm room, and straight into his room. He closed the door softly, trying not to attract the attention of the busy boys in the kitchen. You notice this, and quietly slip away, knocking on the door, waiting for permission to enter. You hear a soft ‘come in’ and open the door to find Seungmin curled up on his bed. He quickly sat up when he saw you, and and wiped his eyes, thinking you couldn’t see his tears.

“Hey Seungmin, is everything ok?,” you say softly, placing an arm around his shoulder as you sit, “Is there anything I can help with?”

After a long silence, Seungmin laid his head on your shoulder, surprising you. It’s not that Seungmin never touches you, but he’s usually a ray of sunshine, always supportive and positive. Seeing him upset hurt you, and you wanted him to go back to his normal bubbly state.

“I just feel like I can do more to make people happy. I want to make people smile, but I don’t know if I’m doing a good job.. Am I?”

“Of course you are! You’re the happiest person I know, and no one can frown when you’re around.” You reply, hugging his shoulders, trying to convey how much he means to you.

“You really think so?”

“I definitely mean it. I know for myself, you make me happy everyday. You make me smile, and laugh. And that’s why I like you,” you stare at him, waiting to see his reaction, and when you see his eyes go wide you repeat your confession, “I like you Seungmin, I always have... I think everyone everyone here knows that.”

“I- um, you do? You really do?” Seungmin asks, lost for words. He sits up and stares at you and a smile blooms on his face. You laugh, and nod. He wraps his arms around you and plops a kiss on your cheek.

Right as he does, the door swings open and the rest of the boys tumble in, tripping and falling over each other, blaming each other for eavesdropping. Seungmin quickly stands up, and ushers them out of the room, but not before you see half of the boys wink in your direction.

Yang Jeongin (I.N.)

You’ve always seen I.N. as the butt end of the boys jokes. He was the baby of the group, and the boys sometimes treated him like he wasn’t a grown adult. You never really thought much of it, you thought it was cute. But you slowly noticed that when people would ruffle his hair, or tell him how young he was, you’d see his shoulders fall, or his face twist in disgust. It was fast, and he’d be back to his normal self.

One day, he sat you down and straight up asked you if he was dating material. In his head, he was a baby, no one would want to date him because they’d want a more mature person. You’re flabbergasted and never thought that that was why he acted so weirdly when treated as such.

“I can assure you, you’re perfect dating material. And I know for sure there are many people who would line up to date you,” you state. And before he can argue you continue. “I know I would.”

His eyes go wide and he looks surprised at the words that leave your mouth. He quickly straightens up, trying to look more ‘adult-like’. You laugh at that, and feel him relax when you lean in for a hug.

#stray kids #stray kids reactions #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids x reader #stray kids fluff

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starsbythepocketful12 · 4 years

Text

headcanons cause i’m in flarrie hours

they are THE couple when it comes to halloween costumes

all their outfits for big events (parties, gigs where dirty candy and/or jatp perform) are coordinated

carrie my femme queen & flynn my nonbinary lesbian darling

go to protests & marches together

flynn lends carrie books by her favorite Black female authors & carrie lends her books by her favorite sapphic poets

they make playlists about each other but the other doesn’t know they do it (julie & kayla are the only ones permitted to know of the existence of these playlists & have been sworn to secrecy, though julie has a strong suspicion carrie also makes playlists about flynn and vice versa)

have a joint pinterest account for their wedding moodboard

carrie adopted a tiger cub and named it flynn for their three month anniversary

they go to the mall together every other weekend and shop, which they both love to do and when they get home they always model the new outfits they bought

flynn squeals every time they see a dog in public and always runs over and asks if they can pet it and carrie always watches her with such a fond look that the owner almost always makes a comment on what a lovely couple they are or asks how long they’ve been together (something that has actually been happening since even before they were dating, and back then you can imagine the flustered ness it caused)

flynn often comes to watch dirty candy rehearsals, cheer them on, make sure they’re staying hydrated/taking snack breaks and that carrie’s not overworking herself

carrie is the first person that flynn tells she wants to DJ professionally and carrie gets her her first gig

eventually flynn gets into producing as well and ends up making a track for carrie, who writes lyrics to it and it becomes dirty candy’s most successful song to date

carrie says i love you first one saturday afternoon while they’re watching a movie on flynn’s computer in her room. flynn laughs at a joke and carrie looks over at her, her beautiful, incredible girlfriend, and simply can’t resist the urge to say it

flynn’s shocked into silence so carrie panics and leaves and doesn’t answer flynn’s messages

that night flynn shows up at the wilson mansion and throws rocks at carrie’s window until she comes out

flynn is upset with carrie for running out and ghosting her and carrie’s trying to defend herself so they argue but then flynn interrupts carrie by kissing her and breathlessly saying, “i love you.” carrie kisses her and not another word on it is said

carrie steals flynn’s hats

they’re not really PDA-y, they just happen to engage in a lot of unconscious, casual affection, like flynn often absentmindedly intertwines their pinkies and carrie doesn’t realize her arm is around flynn’s shoulders until she’s doing it

even after months of dating will still flirt like they’re in their enemies who are secretly very attracted to e/o era

flynn really loves art, particularly murals, so she drags carrie to a lot of gallery openings and museums

at one point when flynn’s going through a hard time carrie enlists all their friends for help making a giant mural full of drawings of things that make her happy

flynn happy cries when she sees it and is pretty much always seen hugging carrie for the rest of that night

only really cuddle when one (or both) of them is sleepy, though flynn does often sit on carrie’s lap

before starting to date, carrie would tease flynn for having stuffed animals during their sleepovers at flynn’s until they started dating and flynn started spending more time at carrie’s and flynn discovers that her girlfriend’s a little hypocrite

flynn has a younger sister and brother (sister is six, brother is four) and they absolutely ADORE carrie and think she’s the coolest and carrie thinks they’re the cutest

flynn’s like no they’re little demons and carrie’s says who says demons can’t be cute? you once called me a demon right, and im cute, aren’t i? and flynn rolls her eyes and fights back a smile

flynn also has a college aged older sister who she looks up to a lot, like that’s her hero and absolute role model, so naturally carrie’s terrified to meet her, and though she tries to appear intimidating at first, she can’t keep up the act for long and starts being friendly with carrie pretty much right away

one day they’re supposed to go on a date but carrie’s sick and forgot to text flynn telling her not to come so flynn shows up at her house but stays anyway to look after her

flynn reads to her and makes her soup

trevor & flynn play video games while carrie naps

flynn makes jewelry in her free time and consults carrie for her thoughts on every piece (in junior year she starts selling them at school & turns out to be quite the entrepreneur)

they have an inside joke about cosmo and wanda

a couple of the dirty candy members sometimes jokingly flirt with flynn and are like “watch out! we’re gonna steal your girl!” and carrie gets possessive and apologizes for it pretty quickly but flynn thinks it’s hot so it works out pretty well

will watch bad rom coms to make fun of straight people and throw popcorn at the screen when they get together

pet/nick names: care, baby, babe, love, (from carrie to flynn who shuts down upon hearing it) honey, (flynn to carrie, who becomes very giddy the first time flynn says it in a text message) sweetheart

if you couldn’t tell before they ofc have an enemies to friends to lovers arc

move in together after graduating, neither planning on going to college (julie goes to berkeley and nick some other place in california where they have lacrosse cause that’s the sport he plays right) and their parents think it’ll be a disaster but it actually goes really well

the first couple of weeks they fight more, all petty arguments mostly out of the stress of moving, but they always talk it out

it doesn’t take long for them to be happy they’re living together and feel really glad they took that step

two years after graduating flynn gives her a promise ring

carrie cries her eyes out and replies “of fucking course, you dumb fuck” when flynn asks if she’ll take it

ten years later carrie’s a successful pop star/choreographer & flynn’s a record breaking producer/DJ and they’re about to buy a house when they realize they never got married

it’s just a moment where they’re relaxing together on the couch and suddenly are like. oh

and proceed to burst out laughing

it’s a small ceremony, thrown together in just three weeks

carrie wears a short, light pink dress with a heart cutout in the back that would probably be more suited for a high school sophomore’s spring fling but no one cares

flynn wears a suit, and is walked down the aisle by her older sister

they both tear up upon seeing each other and sob through the vows (the traditional pre written ones, they wrote vows for each other but they recite them to the other when they’re alone, so it’s something special only they can share)

julie & kayla are the maids of honor, nick and alex are the best men

julie & luke’s five year old hernando is the ring bearer & alex and willie’s three year old umi is the flower child

trevor, flynn’s older sister and parents cry

even flynn’s now teenage younger siblings, who as of late have often been stereotypically cynical and moody shed tears

jatp perform at the reception (they have also become a hit band at this point)

when they get back from the honeymoon the first thing they do is get a dog

they adopt a golden doodle rescue named stella

a couple years later they start talking about kids and look into getting a sperm donor

because they love being competitive they do little games to decide who will be the one to carry the baby

it’s all jokes though, they decided at the start of the process that it would be flynn for the first kid and carrie for the second

but then SURPRISE flynn has twins

a boy and a girl named tyler and ollie (who’s who i won’t tell you cause fuck gender)

they don’t even talk about carrie getting pregnant now cause they’re busy with the babies and trying to manage their careers but one night, when the kids are eight, and flynn has just flopped onto the couch with a dramatic sigh after putting them to bed, carrie puts down her kindle and quietly says that she wants another kid.

they talk for hours because while flynn wants another kid too, when you’re both celebrities with demanding jobs and people constantly trying to peer into your life, that decision involves even more factors

they decide to have another kid and carrie chooses to take a step back from her career for now-she’ll return to it eventually but for now she wants to be able to just be a parent without worrying about work and not have to deal with the guilt that comes with working when she feels like she should be being a parent

though the kids have always been their main priority and they have done quite well dividing their time between work and being with them, and have done decently shielding them from the public eye (majority of the pictures of ollie & tyler that the public has are blurry candids, and the few high quality ones are from when they were three and they no longer look like that anyway so it’s all good)

it’s a harder process for carrie to get pregnant as she’s almost 40 and flynn was 31 when she had tyler and ollie

but it happens though they’re careful about choosing the sperm donor-even briefly consider asking reggie or nick-because with this kind of thing there’s always the risk that other parent could track down where their kid ended up and want to be a part of that kid’s life later on which is uber complicated for many reasons so they get those scary possibilities out of the way by just finding someone who they know wants to be in the child’s life

preston choi, a thai & korean american mathematics professor ends up being their guy

he’s immensely genuine, sweet, respectful, polite, and gentlemanly

when he came out at fifteen his parents kicked him out of the house

it was a long and difficult journey but they’re in a decent place now

but it’s not the family he wants to have and he’s tried but has yet to find a partner

but doesn’t want to wait to have kids so here he is, more than happy to co parent with flynn and carrie

so that’s what they do! tyler and ollie become big siblings to miles wilson-choi on december 10th, 2044

miles grows up in the most multicultural home ever, being fluent in 4 languages (English, AAVE, Spanish thanks to their tia julie, Korean, and Thai) all their life

tyler & ollie welcome preston and miles into the family with open arms, as well as the addition of korean and thai cuisine to the already amazing dinner tables they had of soul and caribbean food

when miles is seven carrie goes back to work full time, with preston’s assurance that he’s got this when her and flynn are busy and tyler and ollie (who are now fifteen) promising they’ll help out as well

at that point the long awaited julie and the phantoms/carrie and flynn wilson collaboration FINALLY happens

flynn wins her 28th grammy for it, leaving her tied with beyoncé for most grammys won by any woman ever (its julie’s 14th, luke’s 6th, and carrie’s 12th, and the band’s collective 10th cause alex never did any solo projects and reggie released one country album but it didn’t win any grammys rip though it was nominated for 2 CMAs)

#whew this got away from me #im sorry idk why this ended up being so long #like i legitimately apologize #idk what happened #long post #jatp #julie and the phantoms #flynn jatp #carrie wilson #carrie jatp #flarrie #flarrie jatp #headcanons

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epochofbelief · 4 years

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Under the Influence: Prologue

A Throne of Glass/A Court of Thorns and Roses Youtube/College Crossover

alwayss-reading masterlist

Hey! I said this was chapter one in my announcements but it’s actually the prologue:) Please let me know if you want to be tagged! Enjoy!

Triggers: cheating, a break up

PROLOGUE

“Dorian? It’s late.”

“Aelin.” Something about Dorian’s tone had me sitting up a little straighter. “Have you checked your phone in the last half hour?”

I glanced at my watch. It was nearly midnight. Chaol had just left after watching a movie with me and I hadn’t had a chance to catch up on my social media.

“No, why do you ask? I’ll check now,” I said, putting Dor on speaker and sliding up to check my apps. “Did Rifthold Weekly post those pictures from my photoshoot yet?”

“Stop!” My finger hovered above the Instagram app on the screen. “Do not check your phone. I’ll be at your place in ten minutes. Do not check your phone Aelin, or so help me I will never, ever make another late-night dessert run for you again.”

“Can you please just tell me what’s going on? It is bad?”

In the pause before he answered, all my usual anxieties came flooding in, including everything I worried about daily—public scandal, being cancelled, really bad hate mail, particularly nasty anti-Aelin Ash Instagram accounts.

“No. Do not check your phone, Aelin. I mean it.” He hung up.

I usually didn’t listen to him, but Dorian sounded really serious about this one. I tossed my phone onto the couch.

Dorian was only a few years older than me. In addition to his status as my manager, he was one of my closest friends. I knew when he meant business, and the fact that he was rushing to my house at midnight on a Sunday meant something big was happening. Normally, I checked social media every hour or so to see what was going on with my followers and subscribers.

But Dorian’s tone and rush to my place worried me. Only one thing could make him so serious: the threat of me being cancelled.

I shook my head. No. I thought over everything that could have possibly happened that would make Dorian act like this. My legal team had a tight handle on every piece of content I ever released—podcast, Tiktok, Instagram, YouTube, even the few Snapchats I posted every once in a while. It was virtually impossible for me to say or do anything that could get me in any sort of trouble in the public eye.

That made me feel a little better. I took a deep breath and watched my hands. Maybe if I willed it hard enough, they would stop shaking. After all, I probably had nothing to worry about. I padded into the kitchen to find something sweet to eat.

Seven minutes later, Dorian burst into the house (he had a key) and made a beeline straight for me. I offered him the bag of chocolates I was snacking on, but he declined. I didn’t get a clear look at his face until he placed both his hands on my shoulders and stared down into my eyes. I stifled a sigh. Dorian really was quite attractive. That might have been one of the factors that contributed to me hiring him two years ago. I had been deeply upset when Dorian contacted me right at the start of my career asking to be my manager, not my boyfriend. But he was off limits for about a thousand reasons, and of course, I had Chaol.

I shook my head and stared into Dorian’s pale, uncharacteristically solemn expression. “Have you talked to Chaol today?”

I nodded slowly. Odd. Dorian knew my every spare moment was spent with Chaol. “He left like twenty minutes ago. We watched a movie.”

Dorian let out a long breath and stalked out of the kitchen, now rubbing his forehead with his fingers, muttering under his breath.

“Dorian. Would you cut the crap and spit it out? Tell me what the hell is going on!” I demanded, stomping over to prevent him from walking deeper into my home.

“About an hour ago, some photos were leaked. Of Chaol. . . With another girl.”

I blinked. “Okay. . . Chaol gets photographed with people all the time. So do I. Those are all rumors. Everyone knows Chaol and me are together.”

“These photos aren’t like the others.”

“Tell me, Dorian,” I said when my manager refused to meet my eyes. I had a feeling that nothing would be the same after what he said next. Because whatever was going on with Chaol would affect me, my following, my career in some way or another.

“You’ve heard of Nesryn Faliq? The TikTok star?”

“Sure.” A horrible sinking feeling settled into my stomach. Nesryn had a bit of a reputation for drama on the Internet.

Dorian brandished his phone. “You’re going to see them sooner or later,” he said.

I took the phone and slowly tilted my head to see. I nearly dropped the phone when I saw the screen. My boyfriend, lips locked with Nesryn, in a dimly lit parking lot, not a centimeter of space separating the two of them. One of his hands gripped her ass, the other was tangled in her dark hair. From what I could tell, her hands were somewhere under his shirt.

“No. No, no, no. Chaol wouldn’t do this to me,” I managed to say, shoving the phone back into Dorian’s hands and making a beeline for mine, powering it on before Dorian could stop me.

My Instagram was blowing up (more than normal) already. My DM’s were full of the pictures of Chaol and Nesryn, from various angles, the pictures sent from fans and haters and gossip accounts alike. Neither Chaol nor Nesryn had posted any responses to the images yet; of course, it was late on a Sunday night and I doubted anything would start happening until tomorrow.

I took a quick peek at some of the photos to read what the gossip accounts were saying about the pictures.

“Is this the end of Chaolin?”

“Aelin Ash’s delicious boyfriend. . . Cheating?”

I nearly threw my phone at the television.

“He’s. . . cheating on me?” Was all I managed to say as I slumped sideways on the couch.

Dorian came to set next to me, pulling me to rest on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Ae.”

I let myself lean against Dorian for a moment. It would be smart if I took a few moments to process everything, decide on a rational course of action.

So after about two seconds, I rose from the couch.

“That bastard is going to pay for this,” I said through gritted teeth. I was not going to be sad about this. No, it was time for Aelin Ash to get angry. “I’m gonna Tweet something. I can’t let this fester all night.”

Dorian plucked my phone out of my grip. He’d moved from the couch to my position in front of the TV without my notice. “You are not Tweeting. We have to be absolutely positive that these pictures are what they are—”

I fixed him with what I thought was my most withering stare. He ignored it.

“And then we have to make sure that you come off as the bigger person in all this. Remember your promise to yourself? No internet drama?”

I kicked the couch. “Yes,” I mumbled. Why did Dorian have to be so reasonable? “But this one’s out of my hands! Chaol started it.” I wanted to scream. I wanted to go key Chaol’s car. Or better yet, set it on fire.

“And we’re going to let him explain himself before you act.”

“I want things between us to be over. Right now.” I kicked the couch again. It felt good.

“Wait til tomorrow and I promise you can call him and force him to explain and then kick his ass to the curb not a moment later. Then we’ll figure out a way to respond publicly. You and Chaol have to work this out peacefully so that you can come out of this looking strong and reasonable. The last thing we want is for the entire Internet to start taking sides.”

I stalked away from the couch. Barely an hour ago, Chaol and I had been cuddled up next to each other watching some rom-com from twenty years ago. How dare he cheat on me and then waltz into my house like he owned the place? How dare he touch me after he made out—and possibly did more—with Nesryn Faliq?

I’d have to get a new couch. Maybe even a new house.

“Aelin?”

I threw up my hands. “Fine! I’ll wait. Go home and get some rest.”

But Dorian shook his head. “Oh no, I’m couching it tonight. If you need me, I want to be right here.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t need a babysitter, Dor. I’m not going to do anything.”

He looked at me sadly. “I know you don’t need a babysitter, Ae. This is in case you need a shoulder to cry on.” I opened my mouth to respond but he cut me off. “And that’s final!”

I huffed out a large breath but relented. “Fine. But I have a guest bedroom, you know. You don’t have to couch it.”

“Nah, I’m crashing right here,” he said.

I shook my head and turned to go upstairs. “Good night, Dorian! And thanks.”

“I’m here if you need me!” Was all he shouted.

I rolled my eyes in the dark hallway. I wouldn’t cry over some jerk who couldn’t keep his dick in his pants. No, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius of the Aelin Ash YouTube empire did not get upset over losers like Chaol.

But about an hour later, when I’d given up on sleeping for the rest of the night after tossing and turning, I padded downstairs and into the living room. Dorian sat up immediately.

“Dorian—” I said, and my voice caught on his name.

“Come here.”

I resumed my place next to him on the couch and let him hold me as I cried.

TAGLIST (a smol one)

@elriel4life

#acotar #tog #throne of glass #a court of thorns and roses #aelin galathynius #feyre archeron #feysand #rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowan #rhysand #high lord #night court #sarah j maas #throne of glass fanfiction #acotar fanfiction #acomaf

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hippychick006 · 4 years

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12.06 - Celebrating the life of Asa Fox Episode Review/Recap

Honestly, I see a picture like this on a promo and I have no hesitation diving straight in. Okay, you all know I have a hurt!Sam fetish, complete with writhing on the floor padabooty, let’s not bang on about it.

Official episode summary: THREE WINCHESTERS ARE BETTER THAN ONE – When hunters gather together to celebrate the life and tragic death of one of their own, Sam (Jared Padalecki) Dean (Jensen Ackles) and Mary (guest star Samantha Smith) must take action when a demon starts picking off hunters one by one. John Bedham directed the episode written by Steven Yockey

My optimum number of Winchesters is two but yeah, I don’t mind a buy two get one extra free here and there.

Overall, I do really enjoy this episode, even after rewatch but putting under a cut to save space.

There’s a lot of things I don’t like about the Dabb era, and in terms of this episode, retconning Mary to be a hunter after parenthood is one of those things that niggles a little (I know she was a hunter before parenthood which also irks for different reasons) so there’s a lot I have to shake off from my mind in order to be able to enjoy an episode. And on rewatch, I had less issues than I did the first time (but given I’m coming at this straight from season 15, it could be a case of me just grasping onto absolutely anything that isn’t terrible).

Aside from the Mary thing, I love so much about this episode, not least because there isn’t a single mention of feathers who I am seriously going to struggle watching in any episode going forward thanks to 15.18 debacle.

Anyway moving swifly on…

First up is the intro and I love the introduction of Asa Fox as a character. We first meet him as a child, who Mary saves from a werewolf attack. And then we see him become interested in hunting (as Mary tells him she’s soon going to retire, and he’s worried that if she does: who’s gonna save people like me?)

Asa decides it’s going to be him and through a montage set to Bachman-Turner Overdrive’s Roll On Down The Highway, we see Asa grow up to become a pretty awesome hunter. Throughout all this time, he writes postcards to Mary, but doesn’t send them (no address) so he has quite a collection by the end and I think it’s all his hunts.

I’m so caught up in how awesome Asa is and how much I like this new character, I’m completely jarred when he comes to a sudden and unexpected end via hanging which also brings the music to an abrubt halt.

Great intro, Asa said very few words but I’m already mourning not getting to know him more.

After the opening titles, we switch to Jody who is chilling out at home about to watch Netflix when there’s a knock at the door. Turns out it’s Sam and Dean who have just finished up a hunt and stopped by to visit. Unfortunately the cardboard cutout “just add water” instant girl hunters are at a concert. Jody offers to feed them, and Dean lets her know that he killed Hitler since the last time they saw her.

Sam: *huffs and walks away Jody: *blank stare “thank you?” Dean: You’re welcome

Love it.

They have pizza and watch Netflix and have a debate about rom coms. Sam says Dean is more of “an animated Japanese erotica chick.”

A little oversharing on your brother’s habits there Sammy, but Sam is not concerned in the least. In fact, I love how totally relaxed Sam is sitting here. He’s clearly comfortable at Jody’s slumped on her sofa.

The phone rings and Jody goes to answer it, Sam and Dean have a conversation about Sam oversharing which Dean’s uncomfortable with.

Sam: Dude, be proud of your hobbies. It makes you who you are.

Supportive Sam encouraging his brother!

Jody returns and walks past them, she’s clearly upset. The boys follow to watch her start packing. They ask what’s wrong and Jody says a friend of hers died – it’s poor Asa from the opener and I wasn’t expecting a link from Jody to Asa.

The name is familiar to Dean and he’s trying to figure it out when Sam says it’s the guy Ellen used to tell stories about at the Roadhouse. Asa apparently killed five wendigos in a single night and now I’m even more mourning his loss. Seems Jody met Asa when he came to town on a hunt, she caught him out when he tried to pretend to be an FBI agent by the name, Fox Mulder. He’s worse than the Winchesters! Anyway she helped him out on a ghoul hunt and they kept in touch.The boys decide to go with her to the wake, John didn’t let them go to hunter gatherings outside of bars as he always said they were trouble.

Turns out Asa lived in Manitoba, Dean says “oh Canada” when he gets out of the car on arrival. Sam is impressed with the house which yes, nice digs for a hunter.

We meet Asa’s mother, Lorraine and she knew her son was a hunter. She’s heavily in to the drink but she’s just lost her son, so I’m cutting her some slack as I can’t imagine anything worse.

Dean finds his way to the kitchen (and the beer) which has no label. He’s concerned but “Bucky” homebrewed it himself and it’s strong. Dean introduces himself which gets the attention of the several hunters in the room,

Randy: No freakin’ way. Aren’t you dead? Like, four times? Dean: Yeah. It, uh, didn't take.

Just wait till they hear about Mystery Spot where he died over a hundred times in a single day!

Sam fanboy hunter: Wait. Your brother here? Sam? Dean: Yeah, he's still alive, too. He's –

Fanboy doesn’t even wait for Dean to finish, he’s off to find Sam. Same fanboy (named Elvis), same tbh

While Dean’s making friend’s in the kitchen – and learning not to say the name ‘Wendigo’ which turns out to be a trigger word to take a drink - Sam’s homed in on hotboy Max and his equally hot sister Alicia. Turns out their mother is a good witch who taught Alicia how to hunt bad witches.

Sam (to Max): What did she teach you? Max: Uh, mostly how to seduce men. Alicia: She also taught him some magic, which is actually more useful. Max: Eh, mostly the men thing.

Max is definitely getting his flirt on, making sure Sam knows he’s into hot men, and we cannot deny, Sam is a hot man. Before Sam can flirt back, Elvis interrupts and introduces himself and then makes Sam feel awkward when he asks Sam about being possessed by the devil. Bad Elvis!

Max (and Alicia) are both pissed on Sam’s behalf,

Alicia: Dude, you don't just ask someone about something that messed up. Max: Seriously, back off.

Protective!Max alert, I’m going to need a few minutes with my new ship Samax, though to be honest, the way Max and Alicia are sitting together, it might need to be Samaxia, which no issue other than it sounds like a drug that gets advertised on television with all kinds of side effect warnings, like may cause death...)

Elvis makes Sam feel so awkward that he runs off to go find a beer. Elvis then tries to talk to Max and Alicia and they outright just tell him to go away. Love them.

Aww, Sam got his beer and then went off to find his big brother. In fairness, I think they’ve been separated five minutes at this point and in that time Sam was accosted by Elvis. Dean’s looking through Asa’s office and discovers he has a real angel blade. Sam asks if Dean knew people tell stories about them.

Dean: Yeah. Apparently, we’re a little bit legendary. Sam: Yeah, but, I mean, so was Asa. Then a hunt went bad, and he ended up hanging from a tree, alone in the woods. Dean: He died on the job. No better way to go. Sam: You really believe that? Dean: Yeah. What, you don’t? I mean, come on, Sam, it's not like we're in the “live till you're 90, die in your sleep” business. This? [Dean points at Asa’s hunting wall] This only ends one way.

It’s difficult watching this knowing the ultimate end as I know Sam’s never agreed with this, being the one to want to see an end to hunting at some point; but you can’t deny Dean has been consistent in how he thinks he’s going to go out and has always seemed at peace with that.

Sam says they should get back and Dean agrees but warns Sam not to say “wendigo” to anyone. I love that he warns Sam. Every time Dean is a good brother, it just reminds me how much of a bad sister I am as I would not have passed on the warning. Sam’s confused about why he can’t say it but seems to just accept it.

Only a few people are around by the end of the night, still telling stories of Asa’s epic hunts - mainly Bucky. Why show, why give us this amazing man and kill him off in the first five minutes?!.

Anyway, turns out that the “ghoul story” from earlier had more to it. Asa and Jody got together for some “sweet sweet time alone”. Jody plays it down, says it was more of a casual thing. Turns out Asa could beat Dean in the ladies game and I think even Alicia and Max mother was one of his conquests (we saw this in the opening montage as well, Asa kissing a different woman in his car in between hunts).

Randy asks if people want a beer and heads to the kitchen, and I fear Randy is not long for this world as he walks down the hallway alone. We stay on him as he returns and my anxiety is kicking in, even with expecting something, it’s sudden when his throat is slit and he’s dragged off down a side corridor by someone wearing black.

Alicia walks back into the living room carrying two beers – and we’re reminded she’s dressed all in black?! Alicia? Surely not.

We see someone enter the door and only see their boots as they walk, they stop just outside the living rom where everyone is talking. Loraine hears the footsteps stop and tells the stranger to come in and not hover.

Turns out it’s Mary. Awkward Winchester family reunion, given I think from memory Mary walked out an episode or so ago.

Sam, Dean, Jody and Mary go somewhere more quiet to talk.

Mary: What are you doing here? Dean: What are you doing here?

I love the reversed dynamic of Sam being go between Dean and Mary (where it was the reverse between Sam and John). Sam introduces Mary to Jody as their mother.

Jody: I thought– I thought you were... Mary: I was. Jody: [quietly] Wow. Wow! [She hugs Mary excitedly] It is so nice to meet you!

She belatedly sees the awkward tension and ships out to give them “some family time”

Dean asks where Mary’s been and she responds she’s been using John’s journal to work through a few things.

Dean: You could’ve just asked us, you know. Sam: Dean, come on. Dean: She could’ve. Mary: It’s okay. He’s right. But… This is something I needed to do alone. I… Listen, most of the people I knew are dead. And then I remembered Asa. He was so young when I met him, I thought he must still be around. And then… I saw an article about his death, and, uh… Dean: So you’ll text us once a week, maybe, but you’ll drive all the way to Canada to see some dead guy? Well, that’s awesome. I’m gonna get some air. Mary: Dean, wait...

Mary tries to go after Dean but Sam stops her. Sam knows his brother.

Jody on the other hand stops Dean at the door and pretty much says she’s here if Dean wants to talk about anything other than killing Hitler (which Dean spent the five hour drive telling her in excruciating detail.). She talks about giving anything to have her dead husband and son back but at the same time she would be worried it wouldn’t be the same which gives Dean some food for thought in regard to his complicated relationship with Mary.

Mary’s in the kitchen getting a beer, Lorraine introduces herself as Asa’s mother. Mary introduces herself as Mary Winchester, which Lorraine can’t believe as Mary should be her age. Mary: It’s a long story. She says she’s sorry. Lorraine says she should be, Mary’s the reason her son didn’t become an astronaut. She’s very bitter and hands Mary the box with the postcards Asa wrote to her. Mary defends herself and says she saved Asa’s life.

Lorraine: [scoffing] What am I supposed to say to that? After you, Asa got so… Hunting was his whole life. He never married. Never had a family, kids. And now… enjoy the wake.

I love this next scene between Sam and Mary. Sam finds Mary and asks if she’s all right. She thrusts the box of postcards at him and says she’s fine. She goes into Asa’s office and tells Sam she saved Asa when he was a kid, and this is all on her.

Sam: Well, no. Obviously, mom, he made his own decisions. And he helped a lot of people, you know?

Sam and free will and then we have Season 15 debacle. Pfff

Mary tells him that everywhere she goes and everything she does just feels wrong, but she’ll get used to it.Sam tells her he understands, she just needs space and so does Dean, (who we see outside drinking from his flask), He says Dean is just scared they are going to lose her again,

Sam: “that – that because we're (Sam and Dean) hunters, you're gonna walk away. But I know that’s not true. Even looking at these… [Sam holds out the box of Asa’s postcards to Mary] I mean, you saved Asa in 1980, um, after Dean was born. After everyone thought you quit hunting. Seems like you couldn’t stop then, and… I’m guessing you can’t stop now, either. This job, this life, is crazy and insane. But it’s in our blood. Come on. [Sam puts his arm around Mary] Mary: Where we going? Sam: To say goodbye to Asa.

I love that Sam understands more than anyone the desire to have normal/safe, pulling against the need to save people/hunt things so I love this scene between him and Mary and I like Mary a little bit more because of it. Damn you Jared! You even got me to like Claire once!

They go to say goodbye to Asa and I like when Mary undoes the cover over his face and we get blood dripping onto Asa’s forehead. It’s interesting to have both Sam and Mary in this scene in a callback to Sam’s nursery scene. They both look up and it’s Randy, tied to the rafters, dead and bleeding from his neck wound.

Back in the living room, Bucky is still telling stories about Asa. Sam and Mary rush in and Sam tells everyone they need to leave because Randy is dead. I like this, it’s like a murder mystery now. All of a sudden, water is shut off (this is new canon?), and the twins can smell Sulphur. Lights are flickering. Demon alert!

Bucky tells them it’s Jael, a crossroads demon who hangs people, which is his thing, snaps necks (Asa), slits throats (Randy). Turns out Asa exorcised the demon but now it’s back. Bucky tries to open the door, Elvis helps but it slams shut.

Max (trying to impress Sam): you’re wasting your time [he waves a hand in front of the door and we see red symbols] Max says the entire house has been warded.

Not sure if that impressed Sam or not but Max had me at “Seriously, back off” and now this? *Fans self

Anyway, it means they are trapped inside.

Back outside with Dean, he’s still drinking from his flask. He hears footsteps and doesn’t bother turning around, just tells the person to “go away”. I think he thinks it’s Mary, but turns out to be Billy saying “you’re not the boss of me.”

Dean: Billie. What’re you doing here? Billie: My job. [Dean chuckles] Well, I’m not dead yet. Billie: Shame. But actually, I just finished inside. I was reaping a fresh soul.

Wait, what? But Dean’s brother is in there! Dean’s pissed and marches to the door.

Inside, Bucky is telling the group more about the demon Jael. Asa exorcised the demon but not before it killed a first nations girl by tying a noose around her neck.

Outside Dean is rattling and banging on the door

Dean: Sam. Sammy! Hey! Billie: You can huff and puff, but that house is on supernatural lockdown. They can’t even hear you.

Bucky is still expositioning and Dean is still trying to get past that old Winchester nemesis “the door”, even throwing a solid statue at it, but nothing is happening.

Okay, we’ve now reached the only part of this episode I have an issue with. We’ve got a group of hunters standing around wondering who the demon is amongst them and not one of them can remember the tests for a demon. Sam come on! You knew Christo in season 1 and you performed a reverse exorcism in season 8.

Anyway Elvis accuses Alicia of not being in the room and Max says Dean wasn’t in the room either (uh Max buddy, accusing Sam’s brother isn’t going to win you any points in the whole wooing thing, just fyi - of course wooing Sam in the first place is pretty dangerous terratory)

Finally Alicia remembers about holy water but they are all out. Elvis says they can just make more but Mary reminds them the water is off. Uh? The toilet bowl?

Dean’s stopped attacking the door and turns to Billie and asks, What did you do? Billy says it wasn’t her, she’s just cleaning up the mess but “it’s always nice to see a Winchester who can’t get what he wants.”

Dean: You think this is funny? Huh? Hunters are dying in there. Billie: Everyone dies.

Dean is pretty much losing his shit and I’d like to remind people that at this point, he doesn’t know which hunter has died.

Back with the group, Sam finally remembers his brother is outside so all focus is on Alicia who starts coughing. I think she’s faking it to screw with her brother (totally what I would do) but no,

Alicia/Jael: Alicia’s not here right now. [Her eyes glow red] Leave a message. [she punches Max] Oh, you’re a fun group. We’re gonna have a good time tonight.

Jael leaves Alicia in a cloud of demon smoke and flies into the fireplace. Sam and Max get Alicia up (Samaxia forever – warning for side effects which may include internal bleeding and even death)

They now need to figure who in the house Jael has jumped into. Jody gives the orders (I’ll forgive this, she’s a cop) and they pair off to search the house (why not sweep room to room?), Anyway, Sam’s with Mary and Jody’s with Bucky.

Dean’s worked out that Billy got in to reap the soul so if she can get in, she can get Dean in.

Billie: I could, I suppose. But– Dean: Do it! Billie: But it’s a one-way ticket. And you’re gonna owe me one.

Billie, Sammy is in there, do you think Dean cares about “cosmic consequences” at a time like this? There is a door between them right now ffs! Sammy may even be dead and Dean does not want him decomposing before he can find a crossroads to make a deal!

Elvis who was supposed to be partnering with Lorraine, left her briefly to get her a double (vodka I presume?). Anyway Dean comes flying through the door like the overly dramatic bitch he is whenever Sam is in danger.

Dean (whipping out demon knife): Where’s my brother? [he’s already marching past them btw to go look]

THIS IS MY SHOW! What moron thought this show was going to end with DeanCas? Come on, don’t be shy, show yourselves so we can point and laugh because you are going to have an epic tantrum approximately 3 and a half years from this episode which could have been prevented if you’d watched the damn show, instead of wallpaper. By the way, in this episode, Castiel was played by the statue Dean threw at the door. [It represents the violent nature of the Destiel relationship – I have a 500 page meta on this if anyone is interested].

Lorraine accuses Dean of being the demon.

Dean: Demon? Lorraine: Kill him! Dean: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, lady. Look, I’m not a demon, okay? I’m one of the good guys. Now stick with me, do what I say, and everybody’ll get out of here, okay? Everybody!

Elvis – making far too much use of his screentime matches Dean’s dramatics by pulling out his own knife and saying ominiously “well, not everybody” [complete with red flashing eyes].

In this episode, Dean is allowed to be a proper hunter and is able to fight. He taunts the demon, “You’re kinda slow for a demon, aren’t you?” which, he seriously is, no idea how this demon got my wonderful favourite side character “Asa” killed (if he’s not in the final watching Kansas play at the Road House along with all my other favourites, I will be pissed and have a full week meltdown on Twitter – just fyi) [*I won’t really because I’m not insane. Please don’t report me.]

Dean tells the demon to go to hell. The demon tells Dean that Hell is a “complete train wreck” (uh, no, what is a “complete train wreck” is most of season 12-15) Hell is much more pleasant. Dean repeats for the demon to go to hell and starts reciting an exorcism (finally, the smart brother is in the room). Love hearing Dean recite the exorcism. Demon says nuh uh though and snaps Elvis’ neck complete 180 which causes Lorraine to scream, the black smoke escapes from Elvis still standing body. Elvis collapses on the floor and Lorraine is wailing. And I can say “Elvis has left the bulding” which I’ve been waiting the entire episode to be able to say. I’m marginally disappointed Dean didn’t.

Dean helps Lorraine up while shouting “Sammeh!” which brings Sammeh running to the living room.

Mary: Dean. We thought you were outside. Dean: Yeah, I got back in. Sam: How? Dean: It was a one-time deal. Won’t happen again.

Thankfully, there’s no time for Sam to initiate the Spanish inquisition on THAT right now. They account for everyone – except Elvis obviously. The lights go out and everyone puts flashlights on (Max and Alicia have the phone torch on – me as a hunter!) but Dean pulls out the knife which Alicia and Max look at.

Alicia: Mm, impressive. Dean: Demon blade. Kills ‘em dead. Max and Alicia in unison: Nice.

While I try to work out a Sam/Max/Alicia/Dean ship name, Bucky suggests lighting candles, Dean says they need a devil’s trap. Sam says “on it” and Dean is right there with him “yep”. My boys working in sync!

Dean’s plan is for them all to stand in the devil’s trap. The person who won’t get in, is the demon. Clever plan. Mary is impressed and it’s nice for her to see how well one of her sons turned out as a hunter and the other is a cute dumbass – at least Sam had a flashlight.

Mary goes off on her own for some reason and goes to get the angel killing blade from Asa’s office.

Max tries flirting with Sam again, asking what kind of pentagram they are doing

Sam: Standard pentagram. Nothing fancy. Max: I like a Fifth Pentacle of Mars. It’s got more character.

Max bringing his A game to the flirting, I like it. Alicia doesn’t like all the flirting: “Because character is really what matters right now.” They are just like Sam and Dean! Spin off of codependent witch siblings right tf now. Please and thank you.

Jody sees Mary return and is suspicious she was off on her own. She whispers to Sam that she thinks Mary is possessed, she gets increasingly worried which draws the immediate attention of Dean who comes over and asks what is going on (demon knife drawn out and ready once again). Sam quietly tries to tell Dean that Jody thinks their mom is a demon, but Jody shouts, No, I don’t think, I know! I know she’s a demon. [points accusingly at Mary] which prompts Bucky to steps away from Mary and reaches for his knife.

Mary: Hey! Jody: Kill her! Use the knife! Kill her now! Sam: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait. Hold on a second, [turns to look at Jody] Jody, you… You don’t sound like yourself. Dean (not even looking around):That’s because she’s not herself. Are you?

Oh my poor Sam Dumbchester, on rewatch, this episode did you dirty, I was sucked in by my love of Asa Fox and the whole door thing and the Sammeh! I’m so ashamed. Hands my bitter Sam girl platinum membership card back to the bitter Sam girl club in recognition I am no longer worthy of holding it Jody turning into the red eyed demon is in the running for worst “playing of a different character ever” but it’s up against stiff competition from Casifer, Empty!Castiel, Gestapo!Castiel and gayforpay!Castiel and is mercifully short. My main issue with this demon is there is no real consistency through the different bodies it inhabits. They should all have agreed how to play it imo and I do think Kim goes Disney villain OTT but not enough to cause embarrassment, just would have been better if the performance had been toned down some.

Demon Jody had hoped they would kill their mom “wouldn’t that be a riot?”

Dean (sarcastically): Yeah, super fun

Sam tries to attack Jody and is thrown. Big brother is pissed and tries to attack but is thrown too. Uh, how come the lame demon can fight now?

Anyway, Mary attacks and tries to kill Jody with the demon blade and manages to scratch her arm, but Sam says no and pulls Mary away. .

Mary: What are you doing?! She’s a demon. We kill demons. Sam: No, but she’s Jody.

I like this that Mary doesn’t know you don’t just go around killing people, you try to save them first.

The demon is bored and claps her hands, and everyone collapses onto the ground and cannot move (where was this kickass power earlier?). The demon says she’s heard so many stories about the Winchesters, she stands over sam and says, “The idea that he left a meatsuit alive is just so deliciously weak.” Sam gives his “bite me” face.

As for the rest, she’s been inside their heads and starts spilling out secrets – the twins are Asa’s children (I forgot about this detail), Lorraine apparently tried to sabotage Asa’s truck to stop him going out hunting (which is a nice call back to him trying to fix the truck in the episode earlier). She says Jody fantasized about a life with Asa. Bucky manages to get up to attack but Jody grabs him and holds him on his knees.

Jody/Jael: And you. Bucky. Brave, brave Bucky. I was there that night. Tell these nice, stupid people what you did. Tell them what you took from me. Asa was mine.

I like this next scene, Sam manages to stand up and start the exorcism before he’s thrown across the room again. Dean picks up where Sam left off, until he’s thrown through a glass door, the twins are next and get pinned to the wall.

Bucky finally confesses that he killed Asa [and the way he’s dramatically thrown to the floor would never have made it into a scene in seasons 1 to 5]. Oh show, weeps for the quality that once was. Season 12 (heavy sigh).

Mary stands up and finishes the exorcism which sends the demon back to hell.

Sam rushes over to help Jody who says, “That… sucked”

[Try re-watching your performance Kim!]

Lorraine: Bucky, what did you do?

They all turn and look at Bucky.

Bucky says they were hunting in the woods for Jael and he wanted to go back and get the angel blade. Asa wanted to keep hunting but Bucky pushed him and Asa fell and cracked his head and died, which I feel kind of sorry for, not like he did it deliberately and he lost his best friend [and lets be real, it’s not the worst thing a supposed “best friend” has done on this show]. It’s a very tragic end for a great hunter (don’t fast forward to 15.20)

Bucky asks what they are going to do to him.

Alicia: Tell everyone, every hunter we meet. They’re gonna know your name, Bucky. Know what you did. Max: You like stories. This is the story everyone’s gonna tell about you. Forever

I guess I get Max and Alicia’s anger, Asa being their dad and all. It’s just tragic all round because I do feel it was an unlucky accident and Bucky clearly misses his best friend.

I like the setup of the funeral pyre, now 3 hunter bodies being burned, Jody, Lorraine and Mary are standing in front of the pyre. Alicia and Max are resting against their car and Dean and Sam are doing the same against baby.

Lorraine tells Mary she was wrong, “Asa did have a family. He even had kids. I’ve got grandchildren. Suppose I should go meet them.” She walks over to hug Alicia and Max.

Jody and Mary are left at the pyre,

Jody: I don’t know what’s going on between you and your boys, but I gotta tell you, mom to mom, they are good men. Best I’ve ever met. Mary: I know. They’re not the problem.

Jody walks away and leaves Mary on her own, which is Dean’s opportunity, he taps Sam and they both go over to Mary. They ask if she’s okay but Billy appears and says, “She’s really not.” Mary asks who she is and Dean says she’s a reaper that got him back inside.

I would like to have much preferred to have seen Sam’s reaction as well as Mary’s but we don’t get this and it’s a bad choice of angle for me. Billie says Dean owes her one and looks at Mary, “This one. This one right here.”

Billie is still on her “what’s dead should stay dead” kick. She’s a stickler for the laws on that (and never really changes tbh, I don’t really get Billie’s overall arc.)

Mary says she didn’t ask to come back, Billie agrees but says the dead man’s look in Mary’s eyes says she hates it, that she feels she doesn’t fit, like she’s all alone.

Dean: Well, she’s not alone.

Billie (still looking at Mary): Tell me I’m wrong. [Sam and Dean turn to look at Mary and kudos to Jared once again for saying so much with no words as to how he looks at Mary here]

Billy says she’s not here to hurt Mary, “I’m here to offer you mercy. A one-way ticket upstairs, away from all of this.” [Again poor choice of camera for this scene as we see Dean but not Sam]. Mary asks how it would work.

Sam: Mom. [My poor boys!] Mary: You just kill me again? Billie: Reapers don’t kill people. Rules. Mary: Well… then… [she looks up at Sam and Dean] Me: Don’t you dare break my boys fragile hearts! Mary: Then I guess you’re just gonna have to wait. Billie: Winchesters… Me: Same tbh Billie Billie: …if you change your mind– if any of you change your minds– you know my name. [she disappears]

Sam asks if this means Mary is coming home. Mary says yeah, but follows up with: Not quite yet. I just need a little more time.

Sam looks disappointed ☹ but he understands

Dean: Can we buy you breakfast at least? Mary: Bacon? Dean: All the bacon. Mary: I would love that.

I love that Dean and Mary can find a common bond through food. Sam hugs Mary as they walk together towards the Impala

Despite a couple of wobbly bits sprinkled here and there and my poor Dumbchester Sammeh, I still really love this episode overall, the good far outweighs the issues I have and I’ll happily re-watch it as a stand-alone MOTW. I loved the introduction of the witch twins and wish we’d got to see a lot more of them *coughs* and a lot less of other “fan favourite” characters.

It will be interesting where this one will ultimately fall in my definitive list.

#spn rewatch #12.06 #celebrating the life of asa fox #episode review #episode recap #Dabb era actually has some quite good episodes to enjoy #if you ignore being repeatedly punched in the face with Cass is best friend/brother

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artificialqueens · 4 years

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No Strings Attached, Part 2 (Willaska, Bitney) - Albatross, Veronica

AN: New life, new university, new friends…what more could Alaska ask for? Following the end of her relationship with Jinkx, Alaska has decided to pack up and move to a new college…on the other side of the country. Nothing like a bit of space to get over a break up, right? As she settles in for her new life, Alaska must navigate her new surroundings and of course, her new roommates with some very strong personalities of their own. A collab with the amazing @veronicasanders.

It was just before 9 when Alaska finally managed to roll herself out of bed and stumble towards the kitchen. She might’ve slept longer if it hadn’t been for the most annoying bird chirping outside her window and the tantalizing scent of coffee tempting her into leaving her nice, warm blankets. She didn’t even pause at the bathroom first, just made her way straight into the kitchen in search of something to help her feel a little more awake and friendly.

Courtney was the first to notice her, sending a bright, beaming smile her way as she buttered a small stack of toast. “Good morning!” she greeted, “Are you feeling any better?”

A nod was all Alaska could think to give right now. Her sleep-addled mind was still struggling to make proper words.

“Want some smoothie?” Courtney offered as Alaska pulled out a seat at the kitchen’s island.

Bianca was quick to spin away from her pan of sizzling eggs in order to cut in with, “No one wants your gross smoothie!” Then zeroing in on Alaska, she warned, “Beware, Alaska. I saw her put dates in that thing.”

“Shut up!” Courtney laughed, “Dates make it sweet.”

“You know what else would make it sweet? Sugar.”

“Yes, cupcake?” Courtney simpered, fluttering her lashes.

God, this is disgusting, Alaska thought, rubbing away the sleep from her eyes. I stumbled into a fucking Rom-com.

“Is there coffee?” she inquired tiredly, “I thought I smelled coffee.”

“Yeah, help yourself.” Bianca gestured to a French press, then asked, “Do you want some eggs?”

Shaking her head politely, she replied, “No thanks,” and reached over to help herself to the steamy coffee.

With a nod, Bianca scraped two healthy portions onto the awaiting plates and sat down at the island with the others. She pushed one of the servings in front of Courtney.

“Thank you,” she chirped, passing Bianca some toast and licking the butter knife clean in the process.

“That’s disgusting,” Bianca said with an amused chuckle.

Courtney giggled along, offering her a little shrug and a flutter of lashes, “I like to lick things.”

“Where’s Willam? Still asleep?” Alaska had definitely pegged her as the type to stay in bed all day. But at the moment, she would have welcomed anyone else in the room to distract from the sickeningly obvious flirting going on.

“No, she’s at the gym. Gotta keep it tight for her clients,” Courtney said, then when both Bianca and Alaska’s heads snapped up, realized that she’d probably made a serious faux pas, eyes widening. Trailing off, she mumbled, “Uh…I mean…”

“…‘Clients?’” Bianca repeated. Even Alaska felt herself snapping into a hyper-aware state as soon as she heard the word.

“Well…” Courtney trailed off with an uneasy smile.

“Courtney. Are we sharing an apartment with a hooker?!” Bianca pointed a fork at her.

“No!” she reassured her roommates, “No, not a hooker. She’s like…”

“Yeah?” Alaska found herself deeply curious, in spite of her usual desire to stay away from gossip.

“I’m not sure I should say. I mean, it’s not like a secret, but I just don’t feel like it’s my place to-“

“Well too late, bitch,” Bianca argued, “You brought it up. Now you have to tell us.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Courtney asserted. “She just like…video chats with guys and they buy her stuff.”

“So she’s a cam girl?” Bianca clarified, her tone sounding far from excited now.

Scratching the back of her head, Courtney replied with an unsure, “Um. Yeah?”

“Oh.”

Bianca shrugged and nonchalantly went back to her breakfast, but Alaska found her stomach twisting a bit. She didn’t really understand the intricacies of what Courtney described, but part of her worried about whether Willam was careful enough, safe enough. She shook her head slightly, taking a long sip of her coffee. Why was she fretting so much? Who was she, Willam’s mother? And then another thought, immediately shoved down before it had a chance to take root: Does she have a website?

Nope. She was not going to think about that. It was none of her business, she told herself. Any curiosity was simply because she never met a cam girl before.

And she left it as that, tuning into whatever Courtney and Bianca decided to discuss now.

When Willam returned from the gym, Courtney ran to the door to confess her slip up. “I’m so sorry, Bill,” she pouted. “I didn’t mean to spill, but it just came out. Are you mad?”

“Nah. I don’t give a fuck.” Willam flopped down on the sofa, skimpy workout clothes sticking to her, hair piled atop her head in a messy bun.

Alaska’s lips curled slightly into a disgusted frown. Who doesn’t shower immediately after working out? And now she was sitting on the sofa, getting her sweat all over the shared furniture? Gross , Alaska thought, pulse quickening as a strange feeling crept into her chest.

Willam turned her head towards Alaska and gave her a sympathetic smile. “How you doin’, tiger? Feeling better today?”

“Mmhmm.” Alaska swallowed, feeling an uncomfortable heat creeping into her face.

“Awesome. Maybe you can come with us to the mall, then,” Willam added with a coy tilt of her head.

“Sure,” Alaska smiled at her, praying that the heat in her cheeks wasn’t visible to the others, hoping to deflect by adding drily, “Maybe you can shower first.”

“Ha! Well, look who’s out of her shell,” Willam laughed, standing up and whipping her top off, tossing Alaska a wink in the process. “I guess I’ll head to the shower, then.”

Alaska averted her eyes as Willam continued to shed her clothes, trying not to think about her perfectly toned body, how you could bounce a fucking quarter off her ass. Also how did she have no tan lines? Alaska cleared her throat and looked at the ceiling.

By the way Courtney didn’t even bat an eye, Alaska would be willing to guess that this was pretty normal behavior. Great. Just fucking great.

******

Willam was surprisingly happy with her roommate situation. Bianca was a bit of a bitch, but at least she was funny, and Alaska seemed pretty chill, a perfect counterbalance to Courtney’s boundless energy. They were both major improvements over last year’s wet blankets. Not to mention neither of them was particularly bad to look at. That was always a plus.

The mall closest to the campus was incredibly different than the ones Willam was used to on the East Coast. A big outdoor courtyard surrounded by flowers and cute, little shops, not to mention impressive department stores on either side. She breathed in, happy to be back in California, to feel the sunshine - warm without any oppressive humidity, imagining what her life might be someday. If she ever graduated from school. But that was a problem for another day, she decided.

It wasn’t long into her trip before Courtney spotted the See’s Candy and let out a giddy squeal, “Bill, come on, let’s get samples!”

Willam rolled her eyes as Courtney dragged towards the shop. She’d just spent 2 hours at the gym that morning! There was no way she was gonna blow that hard work on candy. Courtney, who had the metabolism of a hummingbird, never understood how disciplined she needed to be.

“My ex girlfriend was obsessed with that place. She never shut up about it,” Alaska sighed. Her heart had clenched the moment she recognized the sign and before she knew it, she was wistfully mentioning her ex. She’d been so open about it at her last school but now with all of her roommates’ eyes on her, she realized that perhaps this might not be such welcomed information.

Courtney had stopped dead in her tracks to round on Alaska with wide, curious eyes. Bianca had arched a brow at her, one of surprise, she hoped, and not judgement. But then there Willam. By the time Alaska’s gaze met hers, her cheeks were filling with a deep pink. Willam’s reaction was the most difficult to decipher. Her expression seemed blank at first but her eyes betrayed her. Willam’s focus was now solely zeroed in on Alaska, studying her, watching any reaction she might make. It left Alaska feeling anxious and uncertain.

But as she stood like a deer in headlights, Courtney broke out into a warm, toothy grin as she blurted out (quite loudly), “Don’t worry, Bianca’s gay too! And Willam’s bi!” before biting her lip self-consciously, realizing that everyone was now looking at her with varying levels of amusement and irritation.

“Foot in Mouth Disease strikes again,” Willam sighed as she shook her head. “Anything else you want to share with the other mallgoers, Court? Maybe inform them of my ass waxing schedule?”

Hand on her hip, Bianca piled on with, “You wanna call my grandma, come out for me? I don’t think she knows yet.”

“I thought…” Courtney looked from Willam to Bianca, stammering out. “I mean, yesterday you said that you-I just thought it would be better if she knew…shit…”

Bianca broke first, taking pity on her with a cackling laugh and slipping an arm around Courtney’s shoulders. “She already knew, dollface,” she assured her, adding in a wink, “She’s seen us at the Gay Agenda meetings.”

“Ha ha,” Courtney retorted, rolling her eyes and folding her arms, but leaning against Bianca in the process.

��Well, I’d invite you, but I’m not sure you’re ready for the initiation ceremony…” Bianca teased. Alaska had just enough time to catch a hint of a smile curling at the edges of Courtney’s lips before she spun around and strolled off towards the candy shop with Bianca following close behind.

“And your grandma totally knows, by the way,” Willam called after her.

Bianca turned back with a smirk, flipping Willam off and holding the door. “You guys coming in?” she asked.

“Um…no thanks,” Alaska answered softly, twirling a lock of hair in her fingers. Any appetite she might have had suddenly left her and all she wanted was to sit down, if only for a moment.

Willam hesitated a moment, sparing a glance down to Alaska before replying, “You know, I’ll wait outside with Alaska. I shouldn’t eat sugar anyway.”

“Suit yourself,” Bianca muttered, letting the door swing shut behind her as a pleased grin settled on her lips.

Willam had to scoff. She recognized the signs already, even if Courtney was oblivious. “Poor Bianca. Really barking up the wrong tree there, eh?,” Willam said, turning to Alaska with a wicked grin. When the only reaction was a half-hearted chuckle, she asked, “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, sorry. I’m just…” Alaska trailed off, sitting down quickly at one of the benches. She turned her face from the crowd up to the sky, expression blank and distant. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m still jet-lagged or something. It just feels weird.”

There was a burning at the corners of her eyes but a few blinks and it was gone. Her heart however felt heavy and dull.

Willam settled down next to her and watched her closely. She didn’t speak for a while, running things over in her mind and seemed to be considering her words carefully. Which, from what Alaska could tell, was slightly out of character.

“Weird how?” Willam finally asked, tilting her head to the side. Her voice was calm and inviting but not pressuring. It was nice actually.

Picking at her nails, Alaska shrugged before replying with an uncertain, “Um…I guess I just need a little time to adjust.” A sigh escaped her as she added in hopefully, “I’m sure it’ll be easier once classes start.”

“Well…” Willam searched for something comforting to say, coming up woefully short. “You know, uh…”

“It’s really fine,” Alaska cut in with an apologetic smile. “Sorry I’m being so pathetic, I didn’t mean to drag you down.”

“You’re not pathetic!” Willam exclaimed. “I mean…maybe a little.”

A surprised laugh escaped from Alaska’s chest, immediately making Willam feel pleased with herself.

“I can see your potential though,” she continued. “So…I hope you feel better.”

“Thanks.” Alaska leaned back, pulling off her sunglasses. “I guess it’s mostly because-” she suddenly stopped abruptly, sitting up straight, as Courtney and Bianca burst from the candy store.

“What do you guys wanna do for lunch?” Courtney chirped, skipping over. “There’s that awesome bakery over by the movie theatre. They have tons of specials.”

“You’re still hungry?” Bianca laughed in amazement, “You just ate 3 pounds of chocolate!”

Waving them aside, Willam said, “You go ahead, we’ll catch up.”

Courtney looked from Willam to Alaska, head tilting, asking in concern, “Are you okay? Are you sick? Do you want to go home?”

“She’s fine,” Willam cut in, feeling oddly protective. “She’s just telling me about a recurring fantasy she’s having…of strangling you in your sleep.”

Bianca barked out a laugh. “Who hasn’t had that one!”

“I know, very relatable,” Willam said, and Courtney blew a raspberry.

“Fuck you all, cunts!” She turned on her heel and began walking in the opposite direction, dragging Bianca behind her.

Once they were far enough out of range, Willam turned back to Alaska, who was shaking her head with a smirk.

“You’re a bully,” Alaska accused, no bite to her tone.

“Am not!”

Alaska raised an eyebrow.

“Courtney’s impossible to bully,” Willam reasoned, “She thinks everything is hilarious…And anyway, I was bullied enough growing up, so now it’s my turn.” Willam finished decisively, sitting back.

Alaska seemed shocked by this news. Incredulous, she asked, “You were bullied? For what? And who would dare?”

“Well…maybe I made jokes about myself before anyone else had the chance.” Willam stated, crossing her arms and legs tightly. She glanced at Alaska from the corner of her eye and admitted quietly, “I was really fat.”

“Is that all?” Alaska raised an eyebrow.

“Hey, being fat sucks. Fat and loud. I doubt you’d understand, Prom Queen.” She was starting to get agitated but something compelled her not to cut the conversation off just yet. And soon enough she was rewarded with a loud, obnoxious laugh from Alaska.

“That is…so very wrong.”

Willam shrugged her shoulders as best she could, muttering, “Come on, you’re sweet and…I mean look at you. You must have been popular.”

Alaska twisted a lock of hair in her fingers, a slight blush coloring her cheeks as she looked to the ground. “Actually, I was the gay weirdo in a class of 45 people.”

“Yikes. Really?”

“Yeah. So…you know, when I first got to college, it was like, this giant relief. But then…” she trailed off. Willam understood where she was going.

“Listen,” she said abruptly, “I’m not gonna go all Oprah on you and ask a million questions. That’s Courtney’s thing.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” A smile tugged at the corners of Alaska’s mouth.

“But if you do want to talk, I do have ears.”

“Thanks.” After a pause, Alaska looked up into Willam’s questioning face and asked, “…you mean now?”

Willam gave a casual wave of her hand, one Alaska assumed was giving her the approval to proceed with bitching about her ex. The trouble was, where to even begin?

“Well, I…” Alaska started, then trailed off to bite her lip as she thought things through.

“You don’t have to, bro. It’s okay.”

“No, I know,” Alaska said. “It’s just that it’s all…a little jumbled. I don’t know. Like, I met Jinkx at orientation. Literally the first day.”

“Jinkx? That’s a name?”

“Do you really think that the two of us should be judging someone’s name? Besides, for her it was just a nickname, unlike us.”

“Fair point. Go on…” Willam laughed.

“So we like…we hooked up that first day, and then just…did everything together. And for a while, it was perfect. We cared about each other so much, and for the first time in my life, I felt like I could just relax and be myself. It was this awesome little baby lesbian bubble. I forgot all about high school, the homophobic little shits I grew up with…”

“Sounds nice,” Willam chuckled, giving her a lopsided smile.

“Yeah, it was. At first. And then like, things got totally intense. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault. It was just like, there were so many feelings, all the time , especially after we moved in together the second year. We were always fighting and crying and like…we just realized, there was just no recovering, as much as we loved each other. We weren’t coming back from it.”

Alaska paused for a moment, picking at her nails again. Willam was tempted to reach over, if only to stop her from destroying her nail beds, but ultimately restrained herself. Instead, her own fingers tapped against her knee as she waited for Alaska to collect herself and continue.

The air between them was loaded but after a minute of searching for the right words, Alaska resumed her story, “And then after awhile, I realized that I didn’t even have my own life. My own anything. I didn’t have any friends except our friends. So I just…I guess, found it easier to cut my losses and never go back there then to deal with it.”

Willam gave her another half smile, then asked, “Do you regret it? Coming here, I mean.”

“Um…no. Maybe. I don’t know yet,” Alaska admitted. “Ask me in a few months.”

“Will do.”

“Anyway…” Alaska sighed. “Sorry about that. And thanks.”

“Anytime.”

“Careful, I might take you up on that,” Alaska warned.

“Good,” Willam said decisively.

Alaska looked down, a smile pressed between her lips. She felt better.

It still hurt but in a new way. It was still raw and emotional but it just didn’t seem as endless as it had before. She couldn’t really explain it, just knew that she liked this change.

“Wanna go find the other whores?” Willam asked softly.

“Sure…in a few minutes,” Alaska replied, staring back up at the sky.

Willam nodded, silently and awkwardly patting Alaska on the shoulder and then leaning her head back to stare up into the same cloudless space.

******

“Fucking Christ, where are they?” Willam wondered, looking around the cafe for what felt like the 18th time.

“I dunno…” Alaska drawled out. Anxiously drumming her fingers against her thigh, she asked “Are you sure this is the place Courtney meant?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” She marched back outside, spotting Courtney and Bianca strolling at a leisurely pace through the courtyard. “Hey! What the fuck?”

Courtney waved happily, oblivious to Willam’s annoyance, still chatting away with Bianca, and Willam scoffed. She placed her hands on her hips, tapping her foot impatiently.

“Sorry about that, back there…” Alaska said as soon as Courtney was within earshot.

In response, Courtney just gave her a warm smile and replied sincerely, “It’s fine. I hope you’re okay.” She reached out and squeezed Alaska’s hand, and thankfully didn’t ask any more questions. A small pang of guilt made Alaska wish that she hadn’t spent so much energy judging her in the beginning…or any of her roommates for that matter.

“Did you at least have some fun?” Alaska questioned.

“Yeah,” Courtney’s smile brightened as she glanced over at Bianca. “B made an…interesting purchase.”

Bianca gave her a wicked smirk and held a finger to her lips. Although mildly curious, Alaska decided not to pry. After all, Courtney didn’t try to force any explanation out of Alaska, so it was only fair she returned the favor.

“I’m sure I don’t even want to know,” Willam said, shaking her head.

“Come on, let’s go get some food,” Alaska suggested in a joyful giggle.

******

Once they’d put in their orders, Alaska followed Willam outside to choose a table, mildly amused at how picky she actually was. It had to be in the sun, but not too sunny, with a view of the fountain but not the parking lot. Once she was finally satisfied, Willam plopped herself into one of the cushioned wicker chairs decisively.

“Are you sure this table meets all of your requirements, your highness?” Bianca asked, watching with an air of restlessness as Willam made herself comfortable.

“I know what I like,” Willam commented with a shrug, sipping her iced tea calmly.

“Don’t days like this just make you happy to be alive?” asked Courtney, settling down beside Willam with a contented sigh.

“Alright, Miss America,” Bianca said with an eye roll.

Courtney stuck out her tongue, then added, “I did actually win a pageant, once.”

“We know, we know, Miss Tater Tot-” Willam said, before Courtney interrupted her with a shrieking giggle.

“No, Miss Tiny Tot! I was 5. I won a car.”

“What the fuck is a 5 year old supposed to do with a car?” Bianca nearly yelled in disbelief.

“I would love to meet Miss Tater Tot,” Alaska mused. A lazy smile appeared on her lips as she added in, “She sounds delicious.”

“And crispy,” Bianca agreed.

“Eh, I’m off carbs,” said Willam.

Courtney rested her face in her hands, looking around at all of the girls with a hopeful, dreamy smile on her face. She took a deep breath, then before she could speak, Willam cut her off.

“Oh no,” she groaned, looking at Courtney with dread in her eyes.

“What?”

“I know that fucking look. You’re about to get all…Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants on us, aren’t you?” Willam accused.

“No! I was just gonna say-”

“Something lame and cheesy about best friends forever?” she mocked.

Courtney crossed her arms and countered, “-that I’m glad we’re all getting to know each other…and I have a really good feeling about this year.” She looked at Willam pointedly. “Was that acceptable, boss?”

“…barely. You’re on thin ice.” Willam teased, snatching Courtney’s lemonade to take a sip.

Courtney’s face scrunched up into a pout, and Alaska decided to come to her defense. After all, it was a beautiful day and these girls were going to be her roommates for the year, so she ought to at least make an effort. And as funny as the constant shade might be, she appreciated Courtney’s attempt at sincerity. Especially in this group, where she knew that she’d most likely get mocked for it.

“I think it was great, Courtney.” She raised her cup. “Here’s to the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.”

“More like the Golden Girls,” Bianca said drily, and Alaska squealed happily. She absolutely adored that comparison more than words could describe.

“Speak for yourself, you old cunt,” Willam laughed.

“Omigod, I love that show,” Alaska cut in, barely containing her glee.

“What show?” asked Courtney, confused.

“Golden Girls!”

“I’ve never heard of it.” Courtney shook her head, still puzzled.

Alaska tried to keep her mouth from gaping open as she leaned back in her chair. An excuse to watch her favorite TV show, with someone who’s never witnessed the magic before? This had suddenly turned into the best day in a long time. Already thoughts of how to create the perfect viewing party were running wild through her head.

“Well, I know what we’re doing tonight,” she declared with a happy, decisive smile.

“Is it even streaming anywhere?” Bianca wondered.

“Doesn’t matter. I have all 7 seasons on DVD,” Alaska proclaimed, adding a tongue pop for emphasis.

“We don’t have a DVD player…” Willam pretended to look disappointed. Of all the things she wanted to do tonight, a Golden Girls marathon was certainly not one of them.

“We’re at a mall. It’s happening. Also we need to buy cheesecake.”

Courtney clasped her hands to her chest and asked, “Can we all get in our jammies and make popcorn and have a real slumber party?”

“Yes!” Alaska answered, pointing at her.

The pair shared an enthusiastic grin with one another, already feeling their excitement building up to the point of pure joy. “Dear god,” Bianca muttered, looking horrified as she glanced from one beaming girl to the other.

Willam leaned in towards Bianca and said in a loud stage whisper, “It’s not too late to kill them both, you know.”

Bianca laughed and toasted her, but Alaska merely leaned her head on Courtney’s shoulder and sighed happily. Maybe this would be a good year after all.

*******

The first two weeks of classes sped by without incident. It all felt like a blissful daze for Willam, aside from the unfortunate interruptions of homework, that is. But it was still early in the semester and the expectations weren’t too high yet. She could go out and have fun without worrying about some paper or assignment looming over her head…at least for now. So in the meantime, she was dividing her extra time between her roommates, her social life, and, of course her, her side job.

She had a good balance going, she thought.

Tonight however was reserved just for her roommates, complete with plans to veg out in front of the TV, eat takeout (using up one of the rare cheat meals she allowed herself), and watch some horrible B-list movies or maybe just start a new series on Netflix. Either way, it all sounded wonderfully relaxing. The perfect way to close out the week.

They were in the midst of chatting about classes and eating dinner when Alaska’s phone began to buzz. Her previously giddy expression quickly morphed into one of apprehension. Willam’s attention was immediately on her.

She had an idea, even without looking at the phone, as to who could possibly warrant such a change in Alaska’s mood. While Courtney and Bianca chatted away, oblivious to the world for the time being, Willam gave Alaska a small nudge and asked softly, “Jinkx?”

“Um, yeah,” came the quiet confirmation. Alaska was looking at the screen with an air of distrust, “No idea why she’s calling.”

“Pick it up,” Willam suggested with a shrug. “Find out.”

Alaska gave a murmur of discontent, clearly unsure of herself or what she ought to do.

In the end, she let the buzzing go on for another three rounds before snatching the phone up and answering it with a rushed, “Hey, sorry, was just eating. What’s up?”

Her voice was quiet and withdrawn from the start. As Jinkx spoke, Alaska began chewing the interior of her lip, listening intently to whatever was being said. Already Willam was having second thoughts about encouraging her to accept the call.

“Um, yeah, just…Hold on. I’m gonna go into another room,” Alaska replied into the phone, speeding off to her bedroom without even another glance at her roommates.

Yeah, Willam thought to herself, this was a bad idea.

But there was nothing to do now aside from waiting for Alaska to finish her call. All she hoped was that she wouldn’t be too upset when she came back out. But something about the twisting in the pit of Willam’s stomach told her that’d be a long shot. Just look at how dejected Alaska had been at the mall with just the thought of Jinkx. Never mind actually talking to her.

Willam was prepared to offer some consolation once Alaska reemerged and kept a cautious eye on her closed door. She expected Alaska to come out after a few minutes or for the low chattering to stop but every time there was a lull in the noise filtering from Alaska’s bedroom, within a minute it would just start back up again. It left Willam feeling curious and a bit anxious.

Even after 20 minutes and their dinners finished, Alaska still had not come back out. By now Bianca and Courtney had noticed her absence and asked Willam about it.

“Got a call from her ex. Went in there to talk to her.” Her voice sounded weird to her ears. There was some kind of tone to it that she didn’t recognize…bitterness? Not quite right but close.

Courtney stared at the closed door for a few moments, almost as if she too were trying to will Alaska into reappearing. But as Bianca cleaned up the dishes and set them in the sink, it became apparent that Alaska was not coming out anytime soon.

“Think she’s okay in there?” Courtney asked in concern.

“She’s a big girl, she can handle herself,” Bianca reminded her. A short burst of laughter echoed from the bedroom. Definitely not the sound of someone having a horrible conversation. “Seems like she’d doing just fine.”

With that, Bianca unanimously decided that they were going to continue on with their girls’ night. Alaska could join in whenever she was finished, she figured. Courtney was all too eager to help Bianca pick out what to watch, arguing passionately about the merits of whatever horribly depressing documentary she suggested. Bianca kept up the debate, ultimately winning as she had already claimed the remote, and settling down on the couch with a triumphant grin. Courtney pouted of course, but only 10 minutes in and she was lazily leaning against Bianca and watching whatever program with her in contented silence.

Both let their attention become consumed by the show but try as she might, Willam just couldn’t get into it like they were. She told herself it was just because of the consistent drone of Alaska’s muffled conversation and fits of laughter that kept distracting her. It was hard to pay attention when there was some kind of irritating background noise, right?

Hours went by with Willam feeling even more restless than she could remember. She made frequent trips to the kitchen, using any excuse she could think of to just get out of her seat and move. All this resulted in her drinking a massive amount of water and wine. Eventually, she found herself needing to use the bathroom but as she passed by a certain bedroom door, she discovered she was able to hear Alaska’s conversation almost perfectly.

“Yeah, it’s been…it was weird coming out here. I wanted a change, you know? Just to get away from everything.”

There was a pause as Jinkx replied with something.

“No, I like it out here, I really do…Yeah…It’s nice. You’d like it, too, I think.”

Alaska’s voice was contemplative and sentimental. She meant the words, Willam could tell, but there was more to it that she wasn’t saying. Willam wondered what until Alaska continued on with, “I miss you, too. All of you, but you…I miss being able to see you, you know?”

A long, muffled response from Jinkx. One Willam ached to hear.

“Right. No, I get that, really…Just-through a screen isn’t really the same, is it?”

What? Were they facetiming now?

Ugh, whatever, Willam decided, storming into the bathroom.

She was done eavesdropping. She was going to join Bianca and Courtney for Girls’ Night, even if some others weren’t, and she was going to have a good time…even if it killed her.

******

“Good talk?” Willam asked once Alaska finally re-emerged from the bedroom and settled in on the empty space on the couch.

“Yeah,” she confirmed with a pleased, blissful smile, “Really good.”

Willam nodded and left the conversation at that. To anyone else in the room it might have looked like she was intensely focused on the drama playing out on the screen but in truth her mind felt a million miles away. Countless thoughts and questions raced through her mind. Most of them centered around wondering just what the hell came out of Alaska and Jinkx’s conversation.

It sounded almost like Alaska was getting ready to invite her out here but she wouldn’t…right?

It was literally across the country and both of them have schoolwork to consider. There’s just no way Alaska would ask her to come all the way out to California. But…she wasn’t thinking of going back either, was she?

The thought of that had Willam feeling conflicted and peevish. She knew she was working herself into a bad mood over probably nothing but she just couldn’t stop herself from overthinking. She actually kind of liked having Alaska as a roommate- Bianca, too- and didn’t want that to change. It was already so comfortable and easy…why would she want to mess that up? She and Jinkx already broke up once, why go through it a second time?

As Willam’s thoughts began to run wild down that path, she had to remind herself that she hadn’t heard Alaska say that she is or even wants to get back together with Jinkx…so she shouldn’t worry about it, right? It wasn’t even any of her business.

But even that reminder couldn’t shake the burning questions she still had about the call. In the end, Willam spent most of the Girls’ Night in a mulish silence. Courtney and Alaska tried to pull her out of it but Willam was not so easily convinced, so they left her alone…for the most part.

As the quartet cleaned up for the night, Alaska pulled Willam aside to ask, “Hey, you alright? You haven’t really said much tonight.”

“Not that you were here to notice,” Willam muttered.

Alaska cocked her head to the side, as if confused, then suddenly it hit her. “Oh,” she murmured guilty, “Yeah, we were talking for a while, weren’t we?” Willam rolled her eyes. “Sorry, we just…had a lot to catch up on. I promise, next Girls Night, I’m all yours.”

Despite herself, Willam perked up at that thought. “‘Next’?” she repeated, a teasing smirk beginning to appear on her lips.

Nudging Willam’s side with her elbow, Alaska beamed back, “Yes, ‘next’. We are going to keep having these for the rest of the year, right?”

“Yeah,” Willam agreed. Suddenly she felt a good bit lighter. “Until I find some guy to fuck. Then you bitches are on your own.”

Alaska’s laugh was loud and braying, enough that Courtney and Bianca turned around to see what was so funny. Neither Willam or Alaska was willing to enlighten them, something about it made them feel disinclined to share. Though each knew it was a hollow threat, neither commented on the fact and let the conversation drop there. Going to bed that night, Willam had to admit, although there were some things she really needed to work out, and soon, she was still pretty grateful for the roommates she got this year. Her only hope was that things would stay this good, at least until the end of spring semester.

#rpdr fanfiction #willaska #bitney #alaska thunderfuck #willam belli #courtney act #bianca del rio #college au #lesbian au #fluff #angst #eventual smut #eventual romance #friends to lovers #no strings attached #just friends #albatross #veronica #submission

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baekhyuq · 5 years

Text

“Déjà vu.” | Baekhyun (m) Teacher!AU | Chapter 5:

Title: “Stay up.”

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst (maybe)

Warnings: Smut/Language

Word count: 2.6k

Summary: Your new obsession as of late has been masturbating sessions when your favorite cam boy is live-streaming . But too bad some nights you’ve got too much homework due from your Psychology teacher to watch your oh so hot cam boy.

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(Before you continue I just want to say I’m so sorry for making some of you wait 5 months for me to update this story. I’ve gotten so busy with school and I graduated may 25th :) now i have a job and am trying to pursue school in the future. Just a little life update.)

“So you won’t let me?” You giggled as you held Baekhyun’s hand that was down between your legs.

“Did I say that?” He whispered as he curled his fingers and made you squeeze your thighs around his hand. He could make you cum any second and you’d be happy.

“F-fuck.” You choked out, you wanted to cum, no, you needed to cum. Baekhyun was holding out on you through this whole movie. It was thursday night and you both were getting each other off in the cinema on the back row where you guys usually sit. You’re pretty sure somebody has caught on to what you both do when the lights are off, it’s no secret when Baekhyun’s grunts and moans are as loud as the giant silver screen.

You’ve always found his moans gorgeous, they were breathtakingly beautiful. The sound was always music to you ears when you would rub over the tip of his cock as he tried not to buck his hips. His adorable moans sounding only for you.

Your stomach twisted as Baekhyun’s fingers sped up their motions. You could hear the suggestive words Baekhyun was mumbling into your ear as he leaned his head on your shoulder as he always did. His words were absolute filth at this point, saying anything and everything on his mind to get you off.

“You’re such a good little whore aren’t you?”

“Your little cunt can’t take this much can it?”

“When I get you alone you’re in for it, you slut.”

“I’m gonna make you feel really good, would you like that, baby?”

His mindless dirty talk could go for hours, and you wouldn’t be tired of it. You found it an attractive trait of Baekhyun’s, his dedication to anything was admirable.

“I’m going to cum, oh my god. Baekhyun please.” You grabbed ahold of his wrist and came undone on his hand. Your legs jolted and you whined quietly as the cinema was silent.

“Fuck me.” You breathed out in exhaustion.

Baekhyun curled his fingers that remained and you almost choked on your own spit.

“Language, sweetheart.” He smiled at you sweetly, his eyes showing how much he was enjoying this control over you. Like he could play you like a flute to charm any snake.

He pulled out his fingers and sucked on each one and the sight made your mouth water. He got to his middle finger and before he lifted it to his mouth you grabbed his hand and sucked on it suggestively.

Baekhyun’s mouth fell open and you giggle, tapping on his chin.

“Close your mouth hun, a fly might choke you up.” And with that you got up and proceeded to the exit of the cinema. The movie now being over without either of you realizing.

Baekhyun dropped you off at your apartment and asked if he could come up.

“Sorry, I have a lot of work to do and you’re the perfect distraction. Come back another time lover boy.” You blew him a kiss and he oh-so-lovingly caught it and placed it in his pocket.

“Call me then.” He smiled and waved goodbye, you did the same and took the elevator up to your floor.

For a special treat you offer Baekhyun a cup of coffee at his favorite spot. And for some reason you both decide to walk to the shop on a very cold day, the random cold front in the transitioning weather throwing everyone for a loop. Baekhyun kindly offers you a hand warmer and you happily take it. The weather still as cold as it could be outside.

“Its been so breezy the past few weeks, until this cold spurt hit us!” Baekhyun shutters, he hates the cold and you know it for a fact. You smile at his cute whiny attitude he displayed when he was complaining about anything. To think this man could be the exact opposite of himself at one second made you question reality, how lucky did you get.

“Its so cold your nose is even red, you’re too cute Baek.” You tapped his nose with your gloved hand, giggling. Baekhyun responded with a huff.

“Cute my ass, this cold weather is going to be the end of me.” He scoffs, opening the door for you to enter the coffee shop.

You giggle at the thought that Baekhyun’s skinny frame doesn’t conduct as much heat as yours can.

Typically you didn’t drink coffee but since Baekhyun did it became another ritual to get coffee at least one day out of the week. You smiled to yourself thinking about how much you both see each other and how nice it is to spend time with somebody who loves and understands you.

Somebody like Baekhyun.

Baekhyun stands in line while you pick a spot, the shop actually quite empty. You have no problem finding an empty table in a comfortable spot by the window in the back. Baekhyun soon comes to join you with his steaming coffee and your hot chocolate.

You didn’t notice the pink envelope under your hot chocolate till you picked up the cup. You curiously gaze at Baekhyun who’s eyes are set on whatever’s happening outside the window. You smile and open the envelope with care, you pull out a card that’s decorated with pink hearts and cursive writing. You couldn’t help but to imagine Baekhyun going to a store to pick out a card and your heart swelled with adoration.

You opened the card and read the question out loud.

“Dear Y/n, you’ve gotten me through this semester. Will you be my love and get me through next semester?”

You saw Baekhyun’s sides of his mouth turn up into a smile as he turned his head to face you. Your cheeky smile answered the question for him, but you knew he wanted to hear it.

“Yes.” You whispered for him to only hear, the hair on his neck stood straight up. You sat back in your seat before sipping your hot chocolate, satisfied.

“I must be dreaming, you said yes?” Baekhyun’s expression was so surprised it made you laugh. His cute lips forming his signature pouting shape, and his adorable brown eyes wide.

“Is it so hard to believe I like you?” You hit his arm playfully.

“I-I just-“

“Just shut up you fool.” You laughed and kissed his cheek, he placed his hand on his cheek acting bashful.

This was the side of Baekhyun you could baby for days on end and not find a stopping point. Baekhyun being w complete and utter puppy made your heart melt into a puddle on the floor.

Baekhyun stared at you through long lashes, his hands on both his cheeks.

You reached across the table and pinched his cheeks in adoration. “Cutie.”

***

The day carried on with you both being as lovey dovey as possible, watching cheesy rom com’s. Eating chocolates and giving each other kisses here and there.

You didn’t want to tell him what you had planned but the night was leading up to this moment. With all the touches, the kisses, the whispers. Something’s bound to happen.

You went out yesterday and bought a set of lingerie. You knew Baekhyun loved the color black, so when you knew you would be ‘getting some’ soon you thought you would take the opportunity to play dress up.

What was your motive? To get Baekhyun fired up enough to rip your clothes off and reveal that you were trying to impress him with your choice of lingerie.

Baekhyun was starting to get touchy, really touchy. You could feel his hand sliding up and down your thigh, and pinching you cheekily. You would look over at him but he would pretend to not know what we was doing. You figured you would have to take the lead if he wasn’t going to this time.

“Baekhyun-“

Baekhyun cut you off with a rough kiss, with his hand in your hair and another on your jaw. You couldn’t have been more surprised, kissing him back with as much passion as you received.

Your hands pulled on the bottom of his shirt and he instantly got rid of it. And in return he laid you on the couch and began to strip you. Piece by piece your black lingerie set was revealed to him and man did you love the way his eyes scanned your body like a barcode.

The look in his eyes was more than ravenous, his eyes were dark and filled with desire. He ran his hand up your side gingerly, soaking in every centimeter of your body.

How much could you take? He thought, how long could you go until you begged him to stop. How many spankings could you take until your ass turned raw and red. Baekhyun thought of all the ways he could touch you and it just fueled his fire.

Baekhyun wanted to ruin you in every way he knew how and it started with taking off your carefully selected lingerie set. He knew you bought it, he saw the bag at the entrance of the door. Silly girl, he thought. To leave such a big surprise like that from him.

Baekhyun pushed the strap of your bra down your shoulder slowly— sexily. He slid the straps down and let your breasts slowly peak out from the constricting bra. You sighed at the feeling of the cold air hitting your chest.

Baekhyun kissed down your chest, placing one on each breast, on your torso and on the sides of your hips. He wanted to worship you.

He pushed your panties down your legs and tossed them onto the floor carelessly. He slid a finger over your skin, letting goosebumps rise.

The tip of his finger as cold as he air, he let his eyes take in your lying figure. Every inch of every curve and edge. He wish he had a photographic memory but he would only be able to remember your first fuck from his laptop recording.

“Baekhyun, hurry.” You whined, Baekhyun delivered your request, striping you out of your sexy attire and he couldn’t be more happy to see your naked body before him once again.

But this time he didn’t want to be slow, he wanted to be selfish, he wanted to please you as fast as he possibly could.

Baekhyun kissed you deeply and sighed at the feeling that overwhelmed him. The feeling of loving somebody so deeply your heart throbs.

And oh boy were you a heart throb.

He’s pulling your core closer to his hardened cock and you can’t help but to crave him in every way possible. You feel dirty, you feel like a sex hungry woman and you can’t deny any of it.

“Y/n, you’re so fucking tight, still.” Baekhyun grunts as he slides in slowly, saving the rest of his length for a surprise later he begins thrusting in and out. You moan lightly, the feeling of being full not quite there yet, and you were happy.

This night couldn’t have gone anymore right. You thought.

Baekhyun was biting on your neck, sucking, kissing, slobbering, he was all over you like raindrops on roses. You felt your senses become heightened and you craved only Baekhyun in this moment.

You begged for him to pleasure you until you came and he did. He didn’t hold back, snapping his hips accordingly. Your climax left as soon as it came. You were sure Baekhyun came in you but you didn’t care enough to stay awake to find out. You were fast asleep after hearing Baekhyun confess his love for your cunt.

“I know you need it, honey.”

***

You woke up in Baekhyun’s bed, wondering how you went from playing games on your console to Baekhyun’s bed. You turned to see the sleeping man with his arms wrapped around your waist and his head laying on your tummy. You found this version of Baekhyun to be adorable. The small things like this made you wonder how it would be to live together some day.

A domesticated Baekhyun.

You try to stretch your legs without moving Baekhyun, and hear your ankles let out a satisfying pop. Baekhyun grabs onto your middle tighter groaning in protest at your sudden movement.

“No leaving.” He mumbles, the breath fanning over your chest, giving you goosebumps.

“We didn’t even go to sleep till the sun came back up. Thanks to-“ You cut yourself off, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing you went all night, staying up through the night trading sleep for sex. Baekhyun made love to you the way you liked, he would lay you back gently and kiss up and down your body, till you were ready. He’d whisper loving things to you quietly, as if anyone else could hear.

“Thanks to you. You wanted more and more, hm?” He chuckled, rubbing your hip with his hand. “You’re the one to blame.” He traced a shape on your hip bone before moving his fingers down further to your pubic bone.

“You’re the one who begged for more. And more. And more.” He slid a finger over your slit playfully. You yelped, pushing his hand away and pouting.

“You always tease me, it’s not fair.” You thump him on his forehead. Baekhyun lets out a hmm, as you slide out of his arms and stand, stretching more. He has the best view of you wearing his t-shirt, he reaches out to smack your ass. “Ay!”

“Just know who you’re messing with.” He chuckles. You turn around and point at him threateningly.

“I don’t know if I should hit you or not. It’s so tempting.” You sigh, before slapping his own bum playfully. Baekhyun responds with little giggles as if he told his crush he liked them. Baekhyun stretches and he makes going back into bed so tempting. You decide to drag him into the kitchen and make breakfast for you both.

Baekhyun scrolls through his phone as he chews his food. You look over to see him taking a picture of you, you blink as the flash goes off and fight for his phone demanding to see it before he keeps it. He shows you the picture and you almost laugh. Your hair is sticking up in different directions, there’s hickeys on your neck and thighs and your boyfriends shirt looks too big for you as it slides off your shoulder.

“This is my new lock-screen, thanks baby.” He says kissing your cheek quickly. You roll your eyes.

“I’ll grant you my permission this time. But next time i’ll be prepared.” You glare at him and pinch his cheek. Baekhyun laughs smacking your thigh.

“So what are the plans for today?” He asks.

You had no plans today, just be lazy around Baek’s place and play games. “I want to spend the day with you.” You poke your lip out to act cute. Baekhyun recoils and cringes. He thought ageyo was cringey.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, back hugging him. “Pwease can I?” You plead with baby talk.

“Hm. Ill have to hold a meeting as to if you are allowed to or not.” Baekhyun jokes. “Of course you can.”

You smile and kiss the side of Baekhyun’s mouth. “I’m going to shower.”

“Can I come?” He gives you his best puppy eyes, which you shoot down immediately.

“Not a chance lover boy.”

Your shower last about 30 minutes and while you’re cleaning yourself you discover Baekhyun has a cute set of towels with puppies printed all over them. You wrap yourself in one after drying off and make your way to Baekhyun’s room for a change of clothing.

Baekhyun gulps as he sees you with just a towel on and he wants to remove the towel and lick all the water droplets from your body.

He can’t resist you.

You feel Baekhyun pull on your towel teasingly and you swat at his hand.

“Watch it Byun.” You command playfully before slipping on a pair of his boxers and one of his shirts. You feel comfortable.

And in this moment Baekhyun thinks you look absolutely adorable.

taglist: @deliciouslydisturbed365 @92byunie @thenamethatisgiven (tell me if you would like to be tagged or untagged)

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brutcllysoft · 4 years

Text

the infamous couch breakdown ft. @devilwomcn

setting: reina’s house, april 2020

REINA:

It’s late when Reina pulls into her driveway on a Friday night in late April, a little tipsier than she probably should be behind the wheel but a few of her colleagues had invited her out to happy hour, and given the week she’s had she deserved it. Hell, given the year she’s had, she deserves to get drunk every fucking night of the week at least. Reina’s happy to be home though, looking forward to slipping into something more comfortable than her usual stifling dress and dagger sharp stiletto combination with a tall glass of wine and Cookie snuggling up beside her. She doesn’t even register that Rowan’s own vehicle is parked in the visitor section of her driveway, too used to seeing it there to think anything of it. That is, until she opens her front door and the sounds of a very loud movie and sniffle can be heard all the way from her living room. And then it comes back to her — Andrew’s new single had dropped earlier today, and she should’ve known Rowan wouldn’t take it well. God, she can be such a fucking idiot sometimes, and she knows it must be bad because aside from the fact that she can clearly hear a rom-com over Rowan’s crying noises, Cookie hasn’t even come to greet her, which means she’s either being smuggled or she’s too worried about Ro to focus on anything else.

“Shit.” The word tumbles from her lips as she walks through the foyer to put her bag down and take her shoes off, stopping at the kitchen to pour herself a much needed glass of red wine before she goes to check on Rowan. And it seems the blonde’s been partaking herself if the empty bottle and a half of wine sitting on her coffee table are anything to go by. Reina’s steps are light as she makes her way over to where Rowan lays horizontally on her couch, and she tries not to think about how her running mascara is sure to stain the throw pillows as she perches herself on the arm of the couch. “What happened?” Of course, Reina knows what happened, or at least she’s got a pretty good idea, but she has to ask anyway to at least get Rowan talking.

ROWAN:

This is probably the most pathetic thing she’s done in a while, which is really saying something considering in she’d starter off the new year by running away to fucking France because of a boy. The same boy she finds herself now staring down the bottom of her second bottle of white wine over, the one who it always seems to lead back to. The thought sparks a somewhat bitter laugh in the back of her throat, causing the dogs (both of who have taken up their respective places on either side of her --- who needs men when you’ve got dogs, right? At least they’re loyal.) to look up at her with wide eyes, but she hardly notices. She’s busy right now, desperately attempting to text back Tyson in a way that doesn’t make it obvious that she can barely see her keyboard, but she has a feeling she’s completely failing at that. She drops the phone on the table when she’s finished, picking up the bottle and sipping from the long straw she’d stuck in there when she uncorked it thirty minutes earlier, having decided on her first bottle that dirtying a glass just wasn’t worth it when she was fully intending to finish the bottle off.

It says something about her situational awareness that she doesn’t even hear Reina come in, and she jumps when the word ‘shit’ rings out through the living room. Honestly, there’s a mixture of embarrassment and comfort that come from the sight of Reina. The idea of anyone seeing her like this makes her want to crawl in a hole and fucking die but if anyone is going to see her in this state, at least it’s Reina and not someone else --- someone like her mother. Christ, if Addison could see her now. Honestly, the idea of her mother offering her any sort of comfort pulls yet another quiet laugh from her, one that she doesn’t bother to explain to Reina as she sits up on the couch, legs still sprawled out in front of her and she reaches for the remote and bottle of wine on the coffee table, sipping through the straw again and pausing her movie. Fuck Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson and their stupid happy ending. “Do I really need to explain it?” She asks, eyes already glassy as she turns her attention to Reina. She feels something inside of her break even more, somehow, when they make eye contact and before she knows it she’s crying again, head falling to land in her hands. “I just don’t understand why it still hurts so much. I’m so stupid. I should’ve been over this years ago.”

REINA:

It’s hard to see Rowan looking so… well, quite honestly pathetic is the nicest way she can put it. Reina thought she’d been doing well, that France had cleared her mind and any trace of that dumbass kid from her soul, but clearly that’d just been wishful thinking. From drinking straight from the bottle of her wine to sobbing openly for Reina to see, she can only assume this must be Rowan’s rock bottom, but then again she hadn’t been there in France. For all Reina knows, this could be the new normal for Rowan behind closed doors and honestly, the thought scares her. In any other circumstance she’d chalk it up to a bad night and a much needed cry before Rowan can pick herself up and get her shit together again, but her heartache has been going on for fucking months, if not years, and Reina’s a little afraid she won’t ever recover and it’ll lead her down a path similar to the one they’d just managed to get Andy out of. She’s terrified just thinking about it, because she knows that for all of her efforts to take care of Ro and make sure she’s on the straight and narrow while maintaining her success, she’d be way out of her element with that sort of spiral. It’s enough to make her tense up, to take this more seriously rather than just giving Rowan a few words of comfort before patting her on the back and leaving her to herself to sleep it off on the couch. With Rowan leaning forward she takes advantage of the now empty space to make room for herself, setting her wine glass down so she can pluck Scout up from where he’s looking at his mom like she’s a crazy person before she sinks herself back into the couch so Rowan has room to lean on her if she needs to. This type of comfort is rare for Reina, it comes once in a blue moon and Rowan’s probably only seen her get really emotionally invested in anything a handful of times, but she can see the blonde needs her badly now and she’s not about to leave her hanging. A hand lands on Rowan’s back in an effort to let her know she’s there, and Reina’s not going anywhere. “Don’t ever call yourself stupid, sweetheart.” Her tone is uncharacteristically soft but the scold is there, having taught Rowan better than to demean herself in front of anyone over the years. “You can’t expect something like that to just go away overnight. Takes time to heal, or so I’m told. You didn’t exactly give yourself much of a break when you were supposed to.”

ROWAN:

Even after years of knowing each other, sometimes Reina is hard to get a read on even when Rowan is in the best headspace, let alone now. So she’s not entirely sure what kind of reaction she’s going to get from her might-as-well-be-mother. She knows what she needs, but sometimes what she needs and what she gets are two very different things, even when Reina is involved. But it’s relieving when she feels the couch beside her dip, even more so when a hand touches her back in a silent gesture of camaraderie. “I can call myself stupid when I’m acting stupid, which I’ve been doing for a really, really long fucking time.” Rowan hates that she feels this way right now. Over the years she likes to think that she has come into herself —- that she’s stopped worrying so much about how she is viewed and portrayed and that she doesn’t let the words or actions of other people bring her to this low place anymore. But apparently there is a slip up for everything.

When Reina tells her these things take time, she wants to find comfort in that. She’s vaguely aware of the history between Reina and Chris, and she can’t help but wonder if she’s speaking from experience even if she won’t admit it. But then Reina has always been such a force that Rowan has a hard time imagining her getting this emotionally invested in anything, let alone a man— and that makes her feel even more foolish for being here herself. She has always strived to carry herself in the way that Reina does but maybe it’s time she accepts that that is just never going to be who she is. Her head lifts from her hands, wiping below her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater as if that’ll stop her from crying. “It shouldn’t have ever gotten to a point where I had to heal at all,” she admits, bitter taste returning to her tongue. “I should’a listened to you back then —- You told me I was gonna get hurt and I didn’t listen and now look.” She sniffles, surprising herself by how easily the words pour out. She’s not sure if the lack of embarrassment is due to the alcohol or the fact that Reina is the witness to her meltdown, but she doesn’t dwell on it. Instead she shakes her head once before letting it fall back into her hands again. “I hate him sometimes.” She doesn’t — not even close but it’s easier to say she hates him for how he has made her feel over the years than admit she loves him still despite it all.

REINA:

For once in her life, Reina isn’t happy about being right. The I told you so on the tip of her tongue tastes bitter and she’d never let herself actually speak those words out loud, at least not now when Rowan is clearly at her breaking point. She keeps quiet and lets the blonde rant about how she shouldn’t have fallen so fast and so hard, but looking back Reina knows that was probably never going to be an option. Hindsight is 20/20 and even though Reina had warned Ro that this would be how it was going to end between her and Andy, she never expected it to hit as hard as it currently is. Her fingers come up to play with a lock of Rowan’s hair, brows furrowing slightly at her last statement. “You’re allowed to hate him,” she assures, but Reina has a feeling there’s a lot more to it than that. She clearly doesn’t hate him too much if she’s more upset than angry, and if anything that just makes things ten times worse. Reina can deal with angry, she can deal with rage and acting on impulse, but distress has never really been her forte. There isn’t much she can say to comfort Rowan, at least not that she knows of. But she’s gotta say something because if they just sit in silence while Ro cries herself to sleep, nothing’s ever going to get resolved and she’s definitely not going to feel better. “You know, when Adam and I ended things I was a wreck,” she supplies in a teasing tone, the hint of a smile evident in her voice. Rowan’s gotta know she isn’t actually speaking on her relationship with Adam fucking Levine, a relationship she barely gave two shits about, but she isn’t about to clarify who she’s really talking about. The jest leaves her voice at her next words, a quiet tone taking over as she thinks back to the dark place she’d found herself in post- engagement gone wrong. “It was like I couldn’t even fucking breathe in a particular direction or he’d be on some billboard, or one of his songs would be playing in the fucking grocery store. There’d be office parties for his singles that I’d be expected to go to and I’d wanna blow my fucking brains out because I knew they were about me. It was hell.” She doesn’t really know why she’s telling Ro all of this — their situations are completely different and she’d been the one to hurt Chris, not the other way around, but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t upset after the fact and she thinks maybe if Rowan hears that it does actually get better, she’ll believe it. “But then over time I stopped noticing as much. After a while it all sort of faded to the background and I knew I’d moved on,” she shrugs, running her hand through Ro’s hair absentmindedly. “I promise you, it’ll eventually stop hurting.”

ROWAN:

It makes her feel a little better to have Reina validate that she’s allowed to hate him. Rowan’s not sure she’s ever really going to be able to hate Andy but she wishes she could. Hate and anger would be so much easier to deal with than all of this. But there have been fleeting moments, ones like these where she’d think he had finally pushed her too far away and she’d see their relationship for what it was and the anger and resentment would come --- but it’d be gone before the night was over, always finding herself back in his bed again the next time their paths would cross. She really is an idiot. Reina’s hand on her hair brings another wave of comfort and before she’s fully aware that she’s moving, her head is resting in Reina’s lap, legs sprawled out beside them on the couch. She lets her eyes fall shut, listening as Reina speaks and trying to stop her shoulders from shaking and the tears from falling, focusing on the feeling of fingers running through her hair. Even in her drunk state, she’s very much aware of the fact that Reina isn’t talking about Adam but she’s not going to push that. She’s got a feeling it would only blow up in her face and have Reina storming off to her bedroom at the insinuation that she’d been hung up over Chris and honestly, Rowan just needs Reina right now. So she nods and takes the story for what it is because it’s comforting to know that someone -- especially Reina -- understands how she’s feeling. “When?” Her voice comes out quiet, a sigh leaving soon after. “S’been months since I’ve seen him. I wrote that whole stupid album that was supposed to help me move on --- I’ve got a someone who actually likes me now.” It seems like all of the pieces to moving on are there, she just can’t make them fit together. They’ve had time and distance, she’d gone through the motions of writing him out of her system, she’s found someone else. It just doesn’t add up. “I’m tired of cryin’ over someone who doesn’t give a shit.” Because as far as Rowan is concerned, Andy made it perfectly clear how he felt over the years ---- he didn’t care. He’d never cared, and it’s on her that she’d been the naive little girl with her heart on her sleeve and her head in the clouds who fell for it over and over again, but now that she’s actually trying to move forward she still feels stuck. “He wrote me a letter when he was in rehab,” she admits quietly, words tumbling out. She hadn’t told anyone about the letter when it arrived, tucked it away and ignored it’s existence --- now it’s in her purse, practically begging her from it’s place in Reina’s kitchen for her to come open it but she doesn’t know if she’ll ever be able to. “He breaks my heart a hundred times and he sends me a fucking letter.” Maybe it’s a little unfair to think because he’d been stuck in rehab but Rowan can’t help but think if there had been anything worth actually saying in it, he could’ve come to see her any time between now and when he had gotten out.

REINA:

When? Rowan asks, and God isn’t that the million dollar question. Reina wishes she had an answer, wishes she could give Rowan an exact time frame for when she might stop being in so much pain over this. She hates seeing her girl like this, her once bright and bubbly demeanor dimmed because of that fucking twerp. Before Rowan had come into her life, Reina had always been a bitter person even when she was with Chris, and while she’s still far from being what anyone would consider rainbows and sunshine, Ro has managed to brighten her life up just enough that she actually smiles sometimes now. So to see her like this, so down on herself with the light that’s always been inside of her having all but gone out — well, let’s just say it’s only right that she has a bad taste in her mouth for Andy Thane considering it’s his fucking fault. “I wish I knew,” she answers truthfully, though from what she’s seeing tonight Reina could guess it won’t be any time too soon. Rowan may be acting like she’s moving on but it’s clear she’s just going through the motions of what she thinks she needs to do — and Tyson may be part of that but Reina’s pretty damn certain he’s not going to be the one to make Ro whole again. She won’t say it out loud and the kid’s nice enough, but he’s an obvious rebound. “You and I both know how I feel about crying but sometimes that’s just what you’ve gotta do. Get it out of your system until it’s all gone. At least you got one hell of an album out of it.”

Her hand stills for a moment in Rowan’s hair when she mentions a letter, which is brand spanking new information to Reina although in the grand scheme of things, she can’t imagine it’ll change much. Still, it could be what she needs. “You really should read it, Rowan.” If nothing else it might at least give her some closure, and Reina currently hates Andy but she doubts he’d have it in him to send Rowan a letter telling her everything that’s wrong with her, and she has an inkling that it may just be the other way around. She can only hope the entire thing is just Andrew admitting what a piece of shit he was since he’s now clean and sober and sees the error of his ways, and while that might not fix things it sure as hell might be the validation Rowan needs. “You don’t owe him fuck all, but if he’s taking the time to write you a letter it’s probably something you wanna hear. If he didn’t give a shit, he wouldn’t bother.”

ROWAN:

It’s disheartening to hear Reina say she doesn’t know. While logically Rowan knows that there is no magic date Reina could pencil into her calendar and say ’this is it -- this is when it stops hurting, a part of her had been hoping she could. Like she’s a little kid expecting her mom to make everything better again with a brush of her hands through her hair and a few reassuring words. Your mom is supposed to be able to fix everything, right? At least, that’s what Rowan has always been told --- Addie certainly has no interest in fixing anything in Rowan’s life right now, but Reina has always been a completely different story. The idea of crying until it’s all gone is laughable, because honestly --- she thought she’d already done that. Her first few days in Provence had been similar to this, everything hitting her almost the minute her plane had landed. Holed away in her apartment --- cry, write, cry, sleep, repeat. By the time she had gotten back to America she thought there was no way she could be physically capable of even producing more tears let alone having a breakdown like this, but apparently she had been wrong. “I hate cryin’ about him. I hate that it feels like all I ever do anymore.” Which is honestly kind of dramatic because if she’s being entirely truthful, it’s been a while.

She’s been on a high since she got back --- throwing herself into recording that hell of an album Reina had referenced. Throwing herself into a new relationship, throwing herself into things that somehow manage to distract her from the giant hole in her heart and the fact that both those things always end up circling right back to Andy. The album is about him and the whole reason she’s convinced herself she’s in love after only a few short months is because she’s so desperate to get back the love she gives finally after years of having it crumpled up and thrown back to her time and time again. “I’m tired of it. I wish I could just go set his car on fire or something instead of all this.” The words come out mumbled, a huff leaving her lips at the thought. There’s no denying it’d be satisfying, but then because she’s Rowan there would surely be an aftertaste of guilt. She ignores that.

If she wasn’t so drunk she probably would’ve pulled away at the mention of reading the letter. Put up some walls and become defensive while kicking herself for bringing it up at all. Not reading it is the last little bit of control she feels like she’s got over this whole thing --- in the past she’s always dropped everything for him. Always come running every time he has called and listened to everything he has had to say, even if it never added up to anything. But now, she doesn’t want to do that. Doesn’t want to set herself up to fall into another trap or even worse--- doesn’t want to read about how it had all just been an outlet for the adrenaline of the life they lead and the drugs he took. That she’d just been there and it had been easy because he’d gotten her wrapped around his finger years ago, her heartstrings so tangled up they could practically spell out his name. God, she knows that, she didn’t need a physical reminder hand delivered to her front door. “I don’t want to.” She admits, voice quiet again. “He doesn’t give a shit,” she counters, eyes rolling. “ And I don’t wanna read whatever pity note he came up with when he was in there figuring his shit out --- I don’t need it.” Because the idea of it being anything other than that seems so unthinkable to her. And then as soon as the anger is there it seems to be extinguished, voice taking on a quiet tone again after a moment of silence. “Did you see the track list?” Of course she had. It’s been all over the media since it’d been released. “Am I stupid to think it’s got anything to do with me?” She’d be stupid to think it isn’t about her, but she’s at a point where the song could be called Rowan Fisher and she would still question it, having become so used to second guessing and being insecure and unsure about herself with it comes to all things Andrew Thane. “I hope it sucks.” She knows it won’t.

REINA:

Once again Reina’s stomach drops at how upset Rowan is about this. What she wouldn’t give to find Andrew fucking Thane and strangle the life out of him, even if it’d probably land her in a jail cell. Honestly, though, it might be worth it and she could probably find a way out, so the temptation remains even if she’d never act on it. She gives Ro’s shoulder a small shove when she’s openly down on herself again, which is something Reina’s never let her get away with. “Hey — I can see you moving forward. Don’t think just because you got sad again one night means it’s never gonna end,” she scolds lightly, throwing a stern look down at Rowan. She understands being upset — hell, Reina’s been here herself — but she’s not going to allow Ro to wallow in self pity forever. Either she’s going to find a way to get her shit together herself or Reina will magically figure out a way to do it for her. “But you know I’ve got gasoline in my garage if you’re ever serious about that. No one’ll ever know it was you.” She’s kidding, mostly, but honestly at this point Reina thinks lighting Andy’s car on fire might be the only way she can actually help Rowan right now, so it’s tempting considering how useless she currently feels. It’s literally her job as a manager to make sure Rowan is at the top of her game without a worry in the world, and it’s her job as the blonde’s mother figure to make sure she’s not hurting. Right now, Reina is failing at both.

Even with how shitty Andy’s treated her and how he seemed not to mind flinging her heart around like it was nothing, Reina has a hard time believing he truly doesn’t care about her. The man who took him in and raised him has to have had some kind of influence on him, regardless of how bad the kid is at fucking showing it. But she’ll let Rowan have this one, because at the end of the day it’s her decision and Reina isn’t going to tell her what to do — at least not in this case. Instead she keeps quiet on the matter, letting her fingers run through Rowan’s hair again until she brings up Andy’s impending album. Of course she’d seen the track list, and one very particular song with Rowan’s name in it stuck out like a sore fucking thumb so she can’t help but scoff at the fact that the blonde even has to ask if it’s about her. “You were his life for a long time, sweetheart. Who else would it be about?” Even Reina doesn’t dislike him enough to think he didn’t spend his time in rehab thinking about what a piece of shit he’s been. She leans forward gently to grab her glass of wine and Rowan’s bottle with it, and she probably shouldn’t be condoning her drinking anymore considering how blatantly wasted she is, but if there’s ever been a time she deserves it is tonight. “I’m sure it won’t be very good considering the state he’s in. Rehab isn’t exactly an inspiring place.” It’s a lie, an attempt to make Rowan feel better because if anything a clear head might be the thing to give Andrew his best album yet, but Reina can only hope the drugs were the only thing that gave him any kind of talent.

ROWAN:

It’s not surprising that Reina is scolding her again, even if it is done more gently than it normally would be. But she hadn’t been expecting this kind of comfort in the first place anyway, so she figures this night is going better than anticipated, all things considered. Besides, tomorrow morning when she manages to find a coherent thought through the hangover that is surely going to leave her brain dead she’ll come to see that Reina is right --- which it seems she always is. “I guess,” she huffs out a reluctant agreement, staring at a space on the wall across the room. “Feels like it’s not gonna, though. If I’m still cryin’ two months from now put me outta my misery.” With any luck she’ll have finally managed to cry Andrew Thane out of her life and in the next few days she can actually begin to move on with her life rather than continue this cycle of a stretch of good days or weeks followed by wallowing --- but for now, wallowing seems like a good option. Despite the ache in her chest, there is relief that comes with letting it all out, like her breathing comes easier with each moment that passes. Or maybe that comes from Reina’s hands in her hair --- or maybe it’s not that deep at all and it’s just the wine catching up to her.

She almost wants to laugh when Reina mentions that she had been Andy’s life because as far as she’s concerned, she’d barely even been a part of it. She’s a blip in his system where as sometimes she felt like she orbited around him. “I dunno,” she admits with a shrug when Reina asks who else it could be about. Honestly, thinking about it being about someone else hurts even worse somehow. “Gotta be someone out there who managed to make him stick around, ‘cause it sure wasn’t me.” There’s a bitter taste on her tongue clearly reflected in her tone. It feels like her entire life has been a revolving door of people --- they come into her life and she opens up her heart to them, only to have it stomped all over and trampled while they make a beeline for the exit. She still hasn’t figured out what it is about her that somehow manages to push every single person out the door, but by now she figures there has to be something and Reina seems to be the only person immune to it. The thought brings along another tug at her heartstrings though she’s not sure if it’s in sadness over the things she’s lost, anger at herself for causing it all or appreciation for Reina for never leaving. She tells herself it’s the latter, finding that easier to deal with as the woman passes her her wine bottle and taking it eagerly. “I wish you were my mom sometimes,” the words tumble out of her mouth dumbly before she can stop them and immediately she’s sucking back a big amount of wine to try and swallow them back down. Maybe that’s why she pushes people away --- she loves them too much and says dumbass things like that that makes them realize how codependent on them she is.

REINA:

Reina nods seriously at Ro’s request, like she’s actually willing to take her up on it and they won’t probably be exactly where they are now if the blonde is still feeling like shit in a few months. This is Rowan’s heartache to navigate, though, and for once Reina is perfectly fine with sitting quietly in the passenger’s seat and taking her lead. It’s why she bites her tongue to counter when Rowan is adamant that Andy must have found someone else — she knows that’s not possibly the case, but she doesn’t want to seem like she’s defending him or playing devil’s advocate by saying as much, because that’s the opposite of what Ro needs. “I doubt it’s specifically someone — more likely he’s got a band of whores he doesn’t care about nearly as much as you. He’s just got a lot of fucking growing up to do, and unfortunately you can’t do it for him.” She doesn’t know what else to say, or what else she can do to convince Rowan that men are trash who don’t know how to express themselves correctly — not that Reina has any room to talk, because sometimes she thinks maybe she’d thrown away the only one who does. So she waits a beat until Rowan’s confession has her chugging from the straw, and Reina herself takes an equally large gulp of her wine. Under normal circumstances Reina would be running for the hills at just the idea of any sort of affection, even from Rowan, but tonight is different and all that comes from her is a quiet snort. “No you don’t. I’d be a terrible mom,” she counters, and that’s the honest truth. If Reina had real kids of her own, the poor things would probably be incredibly fucked up from her subpar parenting skills. But over the past nine years she’s known Rowan, she’s become more than just a client for Reina. There’s no one else Reina would open her home to, or put so much time and effort into their wellbeing, or even comfort like she’s doing now for Ro. People have always claimed she plays favorites but at this point, it’s beyond that. “As far as I’m concerned, you are my kid, though.” Or at least, she’s the closest thing Reina will ever get. She’s always been adamant about not wanting children, but when Rowan came into her life as a tiny blonde teenager with no idea how her new world worked, of course Reina couldn’t help but take her under her wing. She likes to pride herself in being alone, and needing no one, but it’s hard to deny that the blonde is a source of light in her life that Reina finds herself leaning on. Her main priority is making Rowan feel comfortable, not the other way around, but Reina silently depends on the younger woman more than she’d ever say. “And all this shit going on in your brain is gonna go away eventually if I have any say in it. You remember that time Greg tried to make you guest judge on X Factor and I ripped him a new asshole so you didn’t have to do it? This is cake compared to that.”

ROWAN:

More likely he’s got a band of whores the sentiment brings a laugh from Rowan, though it’s choked and watery and while she knows that was probably meant to be reassuring in Reina’s mind it’s not really. She knows that it’s selfish of her to be upset at the idea of Andy being with someone else considering she herself is with someone else --- the thought reminds her that she needs to grab her phone and make an attempt at reading and replying to whatever messages have come through her phone. Rowan has moved on, and so it’s only fair that she should expect Andy to do the same -- but that doesn’t mean the idea of him with someone else (or multiple someone’s, as Reina has now put into her head) doesn’t make her chest feel like it’s full of stones. She doesn’t have very long to dwell on it though, instead having been swallowed up by her own slip of the tongue that’s lead to the feeling of embarrassment creeping up her spine. Part of her wants to argue when Reina says she would be a terrible mom because as far as she can see that wouldn’t really be the case. But then Rowan knows that her relationship with Reina is not the norm. Even with all of her insecurities and self-doubts she can see that Reina has always treated her very differently than she treats most people, and it would be a lie to say she hadn’t enjoyed that. That’s only doubled when she hears Reina say that as far as she’s concerned, she’s her kid. It’s surprising, but Rowan isn’t going to argue it --- especially not on a night like this when she desperately needs that reassurance that someone, especially Reina, is in her corner. A warmth spreads through her at it and she swallows down the mouthful of wine, regretting it only a little when she realizes her bottle is basically empty now. “You’re not a terrible mom, then,” she counters with a short shrug of her shoulders, even in her intoxicated state wanting to give Reina at least a little bit of reassurance. She knows that as hard as this year has been on her, it hasn’t been easy for Reina either. “I put you through a lot, and you haven’t kicked me to the curb yet… s’pretty good, I think.” She tries to laugh, wanting it to come out as more of a joke than a serious confession, even if that’s what it is. She knows Reina isn’t great with touchy feely moments. “‘Least he hasn’t tried to get me to do Dancin’ With The Stars yet,” she shrugs her shoulders, though she had been beyond grateful when Reina put her footdown as far as the guest judging had gone. But then, on second thought, “Actually that might be kinda fun,” she tacks on, brows furrowing as she thinks it over --- not really thinking in her drunken state just how much of a nightmare the dance competition show really would be. A second later, she leans over to set the wine bottle back on the table and picks up her cell phone in the process, unlocking it with more difficulty than she would ever admit to. Christ, the alcohol is really catching up to her. “Will you text Tyson back for me an’ tell him I’m goin’ to see? I don’t want him to know I’m drunk.” Though she has a feeling her last few messages and the subsequent silence that came after made that perfectly clear.

REINA:

Reina wasn’t looking for any kind of reassurance from Rowan — she’s never had any intent to be a mother and that’s not something she dislikes about herself. But there’s a warmth that spreads through her chest when Rowan tells her she’s not a terrible mom, at least not to her. It’s reassurance that she’s managed to do something right with her, that Ro trusts Reina as much as Reina trusts Ro — and that’s a lot, which is more than anyone in the world could say. Rowan is her girl, her right hand woman, and her friend more than her client and most importantly, she is her daughter, for all intents and purposes. The thought has a swell of emotion running through Reina and she feels her throat tighten just slightly, which is fucking ridiculous because she never cries, but thankfully it’s dispelled when Rowan starts going on about fucking Dancing With the Stars, and she lets out a laugh. “Okay, motormouth. Time for bed.” She’s clearly had more than enough to drink judging by the now two empty bottles of wine, and Reina quickly finishes her own glass before reaching for Rowan’s phone to do as she asked.

Tyson’s texted her a few times since Rowan last texted him, and it sets alarm bells off in Reina’s head that he’s just a little too needy, but she’s not about to comment on that now — not when Rowan’s already worked herself into a state. Instead she sends him a quick ‘Fell asleep, going back to bed.’ that sounds absolutely nothing like a text Rowan would actually send, but he can eat shit if he has a problem with it. Phone locked and safely in Reina’s grasp, she moves to push herself off the couch, careful not to dislodge Rowan in case she wants to sleep there, although she’d prefer if that didn’t happen. “You sleeping down here tonight or are we getting you upstairs? Cookie’ll be pissed if she doesn’t get to sleep in the big bed with you and Scout, you know.”

ROWAN:

Reina’s words have Rowan letting out a dramatic gasp, as if she’s said something insanely offensive. “I’m not a motormouth!” Though they both know that she is --- whether she’s stone cold sober or wine drunk, it’s rare that Rowan ever just shuts up but it’s definitely worse after she’s had a few glasses (or bottles) to drink. But, she yawns a second later, as if now that the idea of going to bed is in her mind nothing sounds more appealing. She moves to sit up, struggling with her balance just a little and looks up at the stairs. The couch is comfortable but there’s no denying that her best upstairs would be a lot better. “I can get upstairs --- s’not gonna be hard.” But it’s clear that it will be at least a little hard as she stands and then promptly falls back on her ass on the couch, causing her to let out a loud laugh that, of course, gets both dogs up and alert.

“Okay, okay, okay, okay ---- lemme try that again,” she laughs as if she finds the whole thing hysterical before dramatically heaving herself up off of the couch. She sways for a minute, arms stretching out to balance herself before she grins over at Reina --- her mood having, apparently, taken a sharp left from the heartbreak she’d been feeling earlier, though she has a feeling that will come back again when she’s alone. “See? I told ya --- piece of cake.”

REINA:

It’s nice to see Rowan smiling for the first time tonight, and the way she can hardly stand would be downright fucking comical if Reina didn’t know the reason why she’d gotten so hammered, and even then she can’t help the smile that quirks on her lips as the younger woman flails around like a baby lamb. “Come on, stop fucking flailing and balance yourself on me.” Reina holds out an arm and helps her upstairs, not bothering to ask if she wants to brush her teeth or anything like that, because based on the slowness of her movements Rowan’s got no intention of doing anything but passing out. They’re up the stairs and turning towards Ro’s room when she takes a quick turn in the other direction and books it for Reina’s room before she can be stopped — and of course the dogs eagerly follow, so by the time Reina catches up they’re all tucked into her bed and how the hell is she supposed to say no to that? Rowan’s on the verge of passing out, her eyes are closing and her breathing is labored and normally Reina wouldn’t stand for this for a second; she’d be hauling Ro out by her heels and leaving her to sleep on the floor if she can’t make it to her fucking bed.

Tonight’s different, though. She’s clearly fucking been through it and besides, Reina’s got a king bed, and she has a feeling the blonde just wants to be somewhere that she knows someone is there with her so she doesn’t feel so alone. As much as she hates to admit it, Reina’s been there too, so she doesn’t disturb Rowan before going about her nightly routine. At the end of the day, Reina would much rather deal with an inconvenience like this than have Rowan wake up upset and alone, and that’s always how it’s going to be.

#v: nashville.#nash: reina.#nash: reina 003

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ladyreapermc · 5 years

Text

Fic: This isn’t a rom-com 14/17

Author’s notes: we’re getting closer to the end. I’m thinking I’m just gonna post the last three chapters daily so it can end on Monday. Also I wrote two possible finales for this and I still have no clue each one to go for. Make your bets on what’s gonna happen!

Summary: Keanu and Lilah meet at the set of John Wick. Rom-com shenanigans ensues

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13

Wordcount: 2385

Warnings: a lot of yearning, a tiny bit of angst, but nothing too serious.

As Keanu stepped into the airplane that would take him to Tokyo, his chest felt tight and heavy and his head was a jumble of confused thoughts. He knew he wouldn’t get a wink of sleep the entire flight. Not that he ever managed to sleep in red eyes anyway, but in any other situation he would at least be able to distract himself with the book he brought along or with inflight movies. Tonight, Keanu knew the only thing he would manage to do was think about Lilah and the fight they had.

This was the one thing he did not miss about relationships, about letting people that close to him. The ability they gained to hurt him. Not that Keanu didn’t do his fair share of hurting. He was quite aware he had been very petty bringing Pierce into the entire mess, but Keanu just couldn’t help himself. He lashed out when he was scared and when she mentioned Oxford, terror and dread overtook him.

They had known each other for about two months. Had been dating, really dating, for not even a month properly, but the thought of losing Lilah was terrifying. Right now, just knowing that he would be away from her for a few days, especially with all the uncertainty that hung over them, made Keanu feel like he left a piece of himself behind in New York. No matter what he did, he couldn’t shake that feeling.

He let out a heavy sigh, making the person sitting next to him look over. He just flashed a quick smile of apology and went back to stare out of the window of the plane. Keanu still couldn’t believe he was this hopeless in love with her after such a short time.

Sure, he realized his feelings had been running deeper than just infatuation that first night they argued about her father, but he didn’t really realize he was in it this deep. Not until tonight.

Keanu should have been more careful. He should have been smarter than this. He had been here before. He had given his whole heart and it had been wrenched out of his chest, smashed and torn, leaving him reeling and barely able to function.

When he picked himself up from that mess, Keanu promised he wouldn’t allow himself to fall like that again. He had been mostly successful at it; keeping his shields up and people would eventually turn away. There was always affection and care for whoever Keanu decided to date, but he never let it progress into something else. He had that pattern fine-tuned down to an art in the last decade. Sometimes it felt as natural as breathing.

He still couldn’t quite understand how Lilah managed to break through that. It took Keanu by surprise, but not really. He saw the warning signs and had every opportunity to turn away, but he didn’t. Because Lilah had been such a breath of fresh air with her honesty and openness and earnestness. With the way that she never asked of him more than he was willing or ready to give. How she accepted him and liked him for what he was, not what she wanted him to be or something she made up in her head. Not many people did that, and Keanu found himself letting his walls down just enough for Lilah to sneak under the wire and lodged herself so deep it suddenly felt like she had always been there and he was just discovering it like a buried treasure.

And now Keanu was scared shitless because he didn’t want to lose her, but he didn’t know what to do either. Because part of him wanted to be with her no matter the cost. That hopeless dreamer that he thought he had lost so long ago didn’t care about the damn age gap or what the rest of the world would think of it. Keanu would move to New York or England or wherever the hell she wanted, if that’s what it took. Because he needed Lilah in his life.

The saner part of him, the one who had loved and lost knew it wasn’t healthy, not for himself and not for Lilah. This part of him knew that he couldn’t interfere with this choice in any way, at least not any more than he already did by offering to pay tuition and helping her through it. Keanu shouldn’t even have done that. He had hadn’t been aware of the weight her father’s wishes had on Lilah’s decision. The second he pushed her Keanu wasn’t being any better than her father was. And that was the last thing he wanted.

At the same time, the thought of Lilah giving up something that was obviously her dream broke his heart and every fiber of his being was screaming him to fix it; to make it better. Because he loved her, and it killed him to see her hurting like this. But Keanu knew that wasn’t what Lilah needed. She didn’t need a hero. Someone to fix things for her. She needed someone to be there for her, no matter what. So that was what Keanu was going to be. The supporting partner she needed, even if the uncertainty of her choice was almost driving him crazy.

With a new sigh, Keanu picked up his book from his jacket pocket, snorting at the cover. He had left home in such a hurry that he forgot the book he had separated to take with him so he stopped by at the airport bookstore to pick something else. The second he laid his eyes on this, he knew he needed to take it. It was Keanu's way to stay close to Lilah even miles apart.

He settled a little more comfortably on his seat and started reading The Shining. Keanu went through almost half before his eyes demanded a break and he put it aside again, smiling because he could almost hear her at every page; her thoughts on this or that scene. She had gone into a lengthy discussion on this book and Stephen King’s work in general, as well as her love for horror books and movies. He had never really thought about it as she did, as an exploration of the human psyche. It was an interesting take.

When he finally landed in Tokyo, Keanu fought the urge to call Lilah, check how she was doing. This was the moment to give her space, let her come up with her answer on her own. Instead, he decided for a text to let her know he arrived safely. He did the same for the rest of his family as he headed to his hotel.

Keanu was exhausted, physically and emotionally and as soon as he got to his room he pretty much passed out. He couldn’t remember the last time he slept for eight hours straight in the past few months, but he woke up to the sound of his phone, his publicist name flashing on the screen. It was time to get ready for the first round of photocall and interviews.

The thing Keanu hated the most about doing press for a movie premiere was that there were always so many things happening at once. He would come out of something and head straight into another with barely enough time to eat or have a smoke or check his phone. And that was how most of his days in Tokyo went in the time he had there. He only managed one afternoon free and he used it to buy some gifts for his friends and family.

Despite all, Keanu really enjoyed the trip. He had always been much fonder of Eastern culture and philosophy than Western. It was also quite nice to meet his fellow cast members for 47 Ronin again. As well as the director. Debuting the film in Japan, considering it was a tale of Japanese culture just felt fitting. The right kind of homage.

But as he headed to the airport at the end of his fourth day, Keanu was anxious to get back since he couldn’t get his head out of New York. Part of it was his worry about how much he was hindering John Wick’s production by being away. Even if it was just for a week. Chad and Dave assured him that they had come up with a plan, so they wouldn’t get too behind schedule and both of them understood that this was the sort of commitment that Keanu couldn’t say no, but he was still worried.

Keanu also couldn’t wait to get back to Lilah, see how she was and if she made up her mind about anything yet. Since they were in such different time zones and his schedule had been so full, they hadn’t managed to speak directly to each other. Only a few text messages throughout the day and he hated it. Apparently, he had grown used to their daily phone calls.

He settled in one of the seats in the airport lounge, leaning his head back and closing his eyes as he heaved a long sigh as he waited for his flight to start boarding. Keanu was exhausted. All he wanted was to sleep. Fortunately, his publicist managed to book him a better flight this time, but he was probably gonna get to New York in the middle of the night. He was almost drifting off when he got a call from Karina. Doing a quick calculation on his head, Keanu winced at how early she must be up to be calling him.

“How come I had to hear from Kim that you’re dating someone?” she asked as soon as he picked up and Keanu rolled her eyes fondly at his baby sister.

“Well, hello to you too dear sister. How are you doing? I’m good, thanks for asking.”

“Oh, screw that!” she said with a huff. “Just give me the details because all Kim told me was that you met her at the set, was head over heels and being an idiot about telling how you felt.”

Keanu chuckled, pushing his hair away from his face. He really needed to call home more often. They were both a little out of the loop.

“I can’t talk much,” he said with a quick glance around. Everyone seemed to be minding their own businesses, but Keanu knew that didn’t mean anything. “So yes or no questions.”

“Fine,” Karina huffed. “She’s an aspiring actress?”

“No.”

“Good. She’s probably not dating you to advance her own career,” she said, and Keanu let out a long sigh, his argument with Lilah coming to mind.

“Definitely not that.”

They went back and forth with a few questions, Keanu chuckling slightly at Karina’s growing frustration, but he wasn’t crazy to talk about his personal business in a crowded airport. Even if he was in a private area.

“I wanna see her,” Karina said, and he winced. Keanu should’ve known that was coming. “Come on. Pictures. I know you have them”.

With a sigh, he pulled his phone away from his ear to browse his gallery, trying to pick one picture of Lilah to send Karina. Keanu smiled to himself because he noticed he had quite a few. She was fond of sending random selfies, which he really appreciated.

He picked the one they took on the mirror, maybe his favorite picture of them so far and sent it to Karina.

“She’s beautiful,” Karina said after a moment’s pause. Keanu smiled and just hummed in agreement. “Way out of your league.”

“If you’re gonna be an ass I’m gonna hang up,” he threatened with a snort.

“No, no!” she said chuckling. “I liked her Matrix shirt.”

“Me too,” he admitted with a smile. Keanu had really loved to see her with that shirt. Almost as much as he liked seeing her in one of his.

“Oh, man! You’re so in love!” she teased, and Keanu could feel himself blushing. He lowered his head, letting his hair block his face from view. “I can hear it in your voice. I can see in your face in that picture.”

“Yes,” Keanu breathed out. There was no point in pretending otherwise. His family knew him too well anyway.

“She makes you happy?”

“Very,” he said with a smile and he could hear his sister smiling on the other side too, as well as his phone beeping to signal low battery.

“Good. That’s all we all care about. You know that, right?”

“I know,” Keanu said, noticing his flight was about to board. “I gotta go. Talk to you when I get home.”

The flight back went a little better. Keanu actually managed to nap a little, but every inch of him felt stiff and ached when he finally landed in New York. His phone had died mid-flight and since he didn’t really want to give the entire airport a view of his dirty laundry by digging through his carry-on for his charger, Keanu hailed a cab instead of calling the car service he usually used.

The driver was a nice guy who recognized him immediately and asked for an autograph, which he didn’t have the heart to refuse. When the man asked for his destination, Keanu hesitated, checking the time before letting his impulsive side win over. He gave the driver Lilah’s address. It was late and he should be heading home, but he spent five days without seeing her. Keanu needed this.

Jean looked really surprised when she opened the door to see Keanu standing there and he gave her a sheepish smile.

“I’m sorry about the hour. Is Lilah…”

“You didn’t get her voicemail, did you?” she asked, her expression shifting into a grimace and Keanu’s heart stopped in panic.

“My phone died. What happened? Where’s Lilah?”

“Her brother was in a car accident,” Jean explained. “She left for Miami earlier tonight.”

A lot of feelings went through Keanu at once: relief that nothing happened to Lilah herself, worry for how she must be. From what all her stories, she was really close to her brother, but the thing that was stronger was the need to get to her. Make sure she was ok.

“Can I borrow your phone?”

x(tbc)x

Go to part 15

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