#so i wait to write them until they're fully fleshed out in my head

[sillygoofyqueer]

the deity jester WWX au might not be your most popular au but know I am on the edge of my seat waiting for wangxian to finally meet <333

*Sniffle sniffle* that's right, I'm writing the deity jester Wei Wuxian AU solely for you now, you see it you care you are everything. HOWEVER, it's unfortunate to say that we still have like a post or two to get to wangxian meeting....so.....uh...DEITY JESTER WEI WUXIAN AU POST DEDICATED TO YOU!!! It's surprising that it hurts to tear himself free from the roots - whether it's due to being tethered to his body for the first time in some...time period, or it's due to ripping himself away from the nature he is so naturally drawn to - but it does. Every breath burns, his black blood seeps out of rips in his flesh and stains the already stained white sections of his clothes, and the bones beneath the meat of his body ache and grate together in a way that he didn't think was possible. He drags himself out from beneath the ground, allowing the sound of the small human wailing to guide him fully, dirt clinging to his hair and skin and stuck beneath his cracked nails, even dropping out of his mouth and nose when he angles his head down to see the state of himself. Small humans are weak and scared of everything, but the tiny humans had always liked him before they had been killed! He moves in the direction of the wailing, which hasn't stopped, and then almost immediately drops to the floor.

Ah. Human bodies are weak. It has surely been a while since he moved. Other humans always complained about aches and stiffness after not moving for a while, so Wei Ying can only assume that this sudden inability to move well is because of being trapped beneath a tree for some amount of time! However, the wailing is still echoing through the forested area he finds himself in, so he starts methodically dragging himself across the floor by his nails, letting all of his bones crack and shift into their proper positions until he can figure out how to walk again. The bells hanging from his outfit, that had once made such pretty tinkling and jingling noises, are now tinny and dull with metal mould (he didn't know metal rotted!) that flakes off as they're scraped across the floor. By the time the wailing is close by, he's sort of crawling instead of walking, his long hair (it's gotten longer! Humans are so complicated) catching beneath his knees and tangling with the leaves and sticks that litter the floor, so that is an improvement.

He still feels the weight of his mask upon his face, and that's surely good as well because tiny humans smile when they see others smiling, and Master always said it was the closest he could get to such an action. He peeks from around the tree he's found himself bumping around after bunching his hair into his hands to keep it out of the way, coming face to face with a tiny human huddled in the roots of the very same tree. This small creature has a splotchy red face and a tiny hand balled against one of its big brown eyes, hiccupping breaths escaping it instead of the normal small ones that should be leaving its lungs. It stares back at him, hair sticking to its cheeks from the water that sometimes leaks from humans' eyes. Wei Ying raises a hand, wiggling his fingers (yes, they are bleeding and skin is hanging off them) and letting the bells around his wrist jingle in hopes to gain a smile or any sort of reaction from this small human.

The small human continues to stare for a moment, and a strange uncomfortable feeling rises in Wei Ying's chest, a chance of his actions making the situation worse, but then a tiny hand wraps around one of his fingers and whispers 'owchie.' He doesn't get what it's trying to say until he looks at his other hand and notices all of the blood dripping down his palms from the tips of his fingers. Oh. That is an owchie. He nods his head slightly (a snap in his neck echoing through the forest as he does so), watching as the small human pulls his captive hand closer, pressing it against its knee, where he feels more wetness - red blood. It seems that the small human also has an owchie, which could be the source of its distress earlier. He nods once more, pressing his free hand into the ground and once again digs his fingers into the dirt that shifts easily beneath his touch, whispering into the nature that sings around him until a very faint, gentle tugging in his chest pairs with a plant sprouting up from the ground.

He picks the leaves from it and crushes them casually, letting his blood mix in with it for an extra healing factor before holding out the gunk in his hand for the small human. Said creature, who has been watching with interest, hiccupping breaths fading to the typical ones found within these animals, leans forwards and prods at the gunk a little. Only after careful examination does it offer up the injury upon its knee, allowing him to liberally smear the gunk over the minor wound so it can heal faster. Once again, the human just watches him do his thing while he works, until he sits back on his knees and stares right back at the human through his mask; despite how he hopes the creature would react, it looks...disgruntled. It still has a hold of one of his hands, and scoops off some of the gunk he has just applied to its injury to...smear it across his fingers?? Oh. Oh! It thinks that he has an owchie because of the blood and the skin hanging from his fingers. It's trying to help him!

Wei Ying gently extracts his hand from its very weak grasp to rub the gunk properly into his hands for the benefit of the small human, wiggling his fingers after he's finished to show that he's 'feeling a lot better'. Now, he doesn't actually feel better because he didn't feel bad in the first place, but he learned a while ago that tiny humans need exaggerated performances to be appeased when it comes to these things, so he really makes a show out of it. The small human, of course, is appeased by it, smiling up at him so widely that it must hurt even with the teary eyes it still possesses. "A-Yuan!!" The call echoes out through the forest, startling nearby small animals and sending birds flittering from the branches of the trees, as well as breaking the peace between the two of them. The tiny human looks up at the call, blinking as though recognising it before struggling to get to its feet, one hand already reaching out to grasp for Wei Ying's hand. All he can really do is let himself be dragged along by the small human as it wanders towards the sound, not wanting it to get further lost in the forest.

[leniisreallycool]

"His brown is short and but wavey and pretty and he has eyes." I'm such a good writer

[itswisp]

💙 With Dror and Minthara :)

Thank you for this lovely opportunity to FINALLY write Minthara! It's been my first time and I absolutely loved it! <3

Also Dror is an idiot but what else it new lol

Minthara's breaths are heavy; her body aches and her blood rushes with adrenaline.

Her eyes wander; take in burning debris and bloody bodies. Pride floods her senses.

It is done. The Emerald Grove has fallen. The non believers are slain. In Her name.

A smile lifts her lips and she raises her mace above her head. “For the Absolute!”, she calls and all around her, a chorus of victory cries joins in.

That evening, they celebrate.

Drums are struck and fires stroked; meat roasted and ale shared. Goblins sing and brawl and party. They're messy and loud about it, and Minthara can't help it but sneer at them.

She and her fellow drow have claimed a spot atop the walls; overseeing the goblins below while partaking in the celebrations in a far more civilized manner.

Instead of stale ale and human flesh, she enjoys a deep, rich red wine along with some crisply roasted, honey doused rothé ribs and sauteed mushrooms.

Primitive, she thinks as she surveys the raunchy hustle. Someone ought to teach them discipline. Manners. How to bow and follow orders and face rightful punishment with dignity.

Minthara's hand twitches and flexes and a small, sharp smile curves her lips. Maybe she could ask General Thorm about getting put in charge of that the next time they meet. Ragzlin was too soft with them; laughing and treating them like unruly children instead of soldiers. She was sure that if she was fully in charge of their goblin forces, she could teach them some proper behavior and would long have been successful with the hunt for the artifact.

Minthara sneers; her smile turning sour.

They had attacked the grove in hopes to find said artifact, but unfortunately it wasn't there. None of the druids or tieflings had carried it. And they had been thorough with their search – checked each corpse twice, then cut them and their livestock apart to be sure they hadn't used some more unconventional hiding places. But still no artifact. Looking through their furniture had proven equally frustrating and fruitless.

Maybe they had hidden it somewhere else, Minthara mused. Maybe in the nearby area. She wouldn't put it past the druids to hide it in a tree or bush or beneath the earth, or even- …

Her thoughts are suddenly disrupted by someone clearing their throat. Looking up and turning her head, her smile falls further.

“G' evnin' ma'am”, Ragzlin says with a heavy slur and unsteady legs. He briefly bows and almost loses his balance; gabbing for the nearby wall to keep himself upright and tickling a snort out of Minthara.

Instead of verbally returning the greeting, Minthara simply raises her glass and gives a curt, stiff nod.

“Fine evnin', isn't it?”, he continues and approaches with swaying steps.

“It's acceptable”, she says and eyes him curiously. Ragzlin doesn't approach her often – not personally, anyway – and usually only when he wants something.

So, what is it he wants now, she wonders, but doesn't have to wait for long, until Ragzlin explains himself rather bluntly.

“Was thinkin' that you an' me should be celebratin' together”, he says; eyes dark and wandering. “Since all this-”, he pauses and makes a grand gesture encompassing their entire camp, “-is because of us. Bunch of filthy goblins? Held together because of you an' me. The slaughter? You an' me. The party? You an' me.”

Minthara raises an eyebrow. “And how would you have us celebrating together?”, she asks and expectantly looks at him, despite full well knowing what his small, predictable mind longs for.

Ragzlin doesn't answer. He simply grins and then leans down.

Minthara smells the cheap beer before she feels his rough lips aimlessly pushing against her cheek, missing her mouth completely.

Minthara laughs and Ragzlin curses, but when he tries to pull away, her hand lurches upward and grabs his hair. Holds him in place.

He sneers and hisses; lips peeling back and exposing sharp, long teeth. Minthara always wondered what they might feel like.

“That was a charming, but poorly executed proposal”, she says with a low, amused chuckle and Ragzlin growls. “Someone ought to teach you how to properly do this.”

She doesn't wait for Ragzlin to understand her words and simply pulls him back in and this time, their lips lock onto one another perfectly.

[obsessedwhyyes]

for the writing asks!

1, 7, 11, 27, 30, 36, 50

Ooh, many juicy questions 😁 Thank you so much! This is gonna be a long one, so I'll pop the answers under the cut.

1. Do you daydream a lot before you write, or go for it as soon as the ideas strike?

I daydream. A lot. I'll have ideas swirling around in my head for a while before putting them to paper, playing scenes out like a little movie. Then, once I've determined that it's something I can, in fact, write about, I'll stick bullet points in my notes detailing it, which will eventually be fleshed out into a fic.

7. Post a snippet from a WIP.

A little one, just for you 😘 Hand-holding!

11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump about?

Weirdly enough, this has varied wildly by fic! Some fics, I'm able to write very neatly in order, whereas others, I'll be writing one scene, and then think of a good way to write a later scene which I just have to put to paper before I forget.

27. What area of writing do you feel strongest in?

That's a tough one... Honestly, probably either in descriptive imagery or character voice/banter. They're the two things I have the most fun with, and also seem to be the things people comment most on in my fics.

30. How much do you edit your fics? Do you edit as you write or wait until you finish the first draft?

I'm terrible for being an "edit as I go" person. It makes the process so much slower, so it's a habit I'm trying to get out of! But it's something I've done for as long as I can remember - I even do it when writing reports for my actual, irl job, haha.

36. What fic are you proudest of?

Honestly, my first one, haha. A Sound Hypothesis is basically my baby, and it reminded me of how much I enjoy writing fiction - to the point where I'm now fully addicted to writing again. And it was actually the catalyst for me meeting some incredible fic writers who I just adore.

Plus I'm still in utter shock that it did so well. I remember writing it, acutely aware that I hadn't written anything fictional since I was about 13, so I expected maybe 20 notes from mutuals. So I posted it, went to bed, woke up, and it had something like 200 notes in 10 hours? Nothing I write will ever do as well as my first fic 😂

50. How would you describe your writing style?

Also a difficult one! I tend to alter my style slightly to match the vibe of the fic that I'm going for. So A Tale of Fools and Tricksters is purposely written in a very whimsical, fairy tale-like way, whereas anything from The Scientific Method is written in a more grounded way, since the Tav is a scientist who tends to catalogue everything and everyone. But in terms of common traits... I'm a big fan of sensory descriptions, I suppose! A voice might be velvet, a sound might be silk caressing your skin, etc. So I guess sensory would be the answer.

[rmd-writes]

5, 14, and 17, please, Rae!

Thanks Courtney!

5. first sentence of the fifth paragraph of an unpublished WIP

There’s silence while she waits for her dad to speak and it feels heavy, like the air is pushing on her.

14. where do you get your inspiration?

Anywhere really, sometimes it's something I've seen on social media, other times someone has mentioned a prompt that I couldn't stop thinking about, or seen fan art that's inspired me. Often I'll be mid-conversation with fandom friends and something they've said makes me start thinking about a potential fic. Sometimes it's spite 😉

17. talk about your writing and editing process

tbh they're kind of the same thing! I edit as I write which is sometimes an issue because I get stuck editing instead of writing. To force myself out of doing this, sometimes I use the gdocs headings so that I don't scroll through the entire doc and can just click on the outline instead to get to where I was up to.

The process itself is something like:

1. come up with idea 2. flesh it out in someone's DMs (usually @welcometololaland) which may or may not involve messages or voice notes that say things like "ignore this I just had to get it out of my head" 3. copy notes from DMs to my private writing discord and/or google doc 4. outline (may have already occured at step 3 if I'm not doing a detailed outline) 5. write (almost always chronologically unless a scene or dialogue comes to mind fully formed) 6. edit 7. complain about writing/having no time to write/words not working etc etc 8. edit 9. write more 10. edit 11. send snippets to friends and/or add them to gdoc for validation (this one is ESSENTIAL. I am not a writer who can write on their own without constant feedback) 12. repeat steps 5-11 until fic is done. 13. full edit as if I'm beta reading someone else's fic + coding if necessary (there's a whole separate process for that, it involves threatening to throw whatever device I'm working on out of a window) 14. send to beta (sometimes I do this before 13 if I need to stop looking at the doc) 15. final edit 16. post to ao3 and inevitably find typos that I somehow missed 17. edit 18. go to sleep and hopefully wake up to nice comments

[more fic writer asks]

[rinwellisathing]

Paint The Lines, Cut The Flesh: Part 13

As they entered the gauntlet, Sentry allowed Shadowheart to take the lead. As a paladin, he understood the importance of a pilgrimage like this and that she would want to prove herself fully to her goddess. He had to admit, her training was impressive. He watched as she easily crept through the darkness to solve the mechanism to open the doors. There was a heavy feeling of being watched, as though Shar herself were also keeping an eye on Shadowheart's progress. The path forward was dark and cold, the familiar smell of death filled the air as the party made their way into the main hall of the ruin. Ancient corpses littered the ground and the silence was all-encompassing. Sentry could have imagined the party were the only ones here, until he set eyes on a group of skeletal figures. Their construction was slap-dash and their gear was ancient. Some necromancer or another scavenging for scraps, he guessed. Still, the clattering creatures approached, holding up their hands as though to prevent the group from venturing forward. “Ugh...Myrkulites...of course there's loads of shoddy skeletons.” Sentry grumbled, narrowing his eyes at the creatures. “You trespass here...” The first skeleton accused in a noise that grated like metal on stone and earned an incredulous glare from Shadowheart, joining Sentry at his side. “No, it is YOU who trespass here in Lady Shar's domain.” She shot back, reaching for her mace. “Stupid worm infested cockheads!” The head skeleton hissed, drawing its own weapons. “Okay, nevermind, they're actually sort of charming.” Sentry chuckled, though quickly drawing his axe as he noticed several portals opening around them. ---

Jaina found she could do little but wander the tower and the balcony while she waited for her friends to come looking for her. She spent most of her time in the library. Ketheric had not left the roof top balcony since they had spoken up there, but he had given her run of the upper floors. Currently she sat on Isobel's old bed reading through some old letters and journals she had found in the library, smiling gently at the picture they painted of the girl who once called this room home. Isobel reminded Jaina of her mother, someone she could easily get along with as she read through story after story of the Selunite. Her eyes paused a moment as she glanced down at a page, reading a description of the day an emissary from The Moonmaiden had arrived in town. A daughter of Selune herself. The young woman's writing reminded her of so many romances she'd read alone in the dormitories at the school, both as a student and as a teacher. The way Isobel described the woman was like a knight in a storybook. 'Her silver armor shone in the light of the sun as she made her way through our town square and all seemed to come out to see the emissary our goddess had sent. Her skin was the porcelain shade of the moon itself and her hair was pale gold as starlight. She was of a powerful build and carried a sword made to cut down any evil that would eclipse her mother's light and in that moment as our eyes met, I knew I loved her.' The tiefling found herself laying across the bed on her stomach and reading intently over the next few pages, looking away only for a moment when a second body put pressure on the bed, the skeletal watchdog peering curiously at the book from beside her.

'Father does not believe Aylin's affections for me are true and he cautions me, but he is wrong. How could our love be false when we both feel it so intensely? Aylin, a daughter of Selune, has knelt before me as though I outshone her. She worships me in ways I cannot even worship my goddess. Such a love could be nothing other than true. Father will come to see that...' “Did you like Isobel's lover, Squire?” Jaina asked absently, patting at the dog's clean white bones. “What kind of a person was she?” The question was more towards herself than the dog, knowing that even when she had previously cast speak with animals, the dog was fairly resistant to small talk or indeed giving her much information at all. “Well, regardless of your opinion, she does sound quite dreamy...And anyway, dogs don't know about these things.” She decided before once more losing herself in the story of the priestess and the paladin. As she read on, a small part of her mind began to wander and imagine Wyll might come to her rescue. A smile slowly crept over her face and she closed her eyes, dreaming of him climbing through a window and tossing her a sword, the two of them fighting side by side and then back to back through The Absolute's forces, making their escape from the tower and pausing only for the kind of deep, intense kiss they only wrote about in story books. She sighed and nodded her head a moment, lost in the fantasy, until, blushing brightly, she shook her head and told herself she was being foolish. Wyll was an intelligent man and a sound strategist, he would never attempt something like that alone, but when she imagined Sentry, Lae'zel, Astarion, Octavia....mostly them, the others could at least operate with some subtlety...well, perhaps not Karlach, but she found Karlach's beautiful smile and strong arms were on her mind nearly as much as Wyll was, so her intrusion into the fantasy would hardly be an intrustion at all, but the other four that came to mind, they'd ruin any sense of romance with their style of combat...and then Sentry would, of course, say or do something unsettling... ----

“It's like I said, shoddy craftsmanship. Myrkulites are just no good at putting things together.” Sentry shook his head with a sigh as the party explored the crypt, the broken bodies of the skeletons scattered among the haunted armor of long dead justiciars who had attacked. “I could care less about some foul mouthed skeletons.” Shadowheart frowned. “I'm more curious as to why my Lady's own faithful would attack me. Is it some kind of test?” She seemed to fret as they approached a crumbling stairwell, stopping only as Halsin threw out an arm to hold Shadowheart and Sentry back, causing Astarion to crash into Sentry's armored back and hiss with complaint. “What in the sweet hells was that for?” He snapped, glaring at the druid. “Yeah, Halsin. I see the drop, I was gonna jump it...” Sentry explained, looking to the taller man for an explanation. Halsin nodded towards a dark figure at the bottom of the broken staircase, staring up at them with bright yellow-green eyes, its fur was so dark it seemed to absorb any light permeating the gloom around it. It regarded them only briefly and then turned to slink down the hall, barbed tentacles swaying from its back. “A displacer beast...” Sentry quirked a brow. “I mean...thanks for the heads up, Halsin, but I'm pretty sure we could've taken it.” The druid furrowed his brow. “And alerted what else in the process?” He chided, giving Sentry a chastising look. “I may dislike the Cambion as much as you do, but I listened well to his rambling and I haven't forgotten what he told us was down here.”

“Right...Orthorn...yeah...” Sentry nodded. “Well, we'd better go find it so we can get this over with and help Astarion. Besides, these 'trials of Shar' will be all the more difficult with him creeping around.” The tiefling hopped down to the lower level and followed in the direction the cat-like creature had gone. The others followed along and soon found themselves in a large open room decorated with bodies in various stages of preservation of decay, some flayed and turned into sculptures, some fully skeletal and made into trinkets, a bed of faces frozen in expressions of terror and pain gazed at the party from an alcove where the displacer beast now sat watching them with a smug sense of satisfaction. “You look lost, little rabbit.” A deep voice boomed from above. The party turned in unison to see standing on a balcony of shattered stone behind them was the hulking figure of the orthorn, his flesh red and bumpy with ridges and prongs, cunning yellow eyes glaring down at them as he trained his crossbow in their direction. “Ugh....rabbit, mouse....don't you devils ever get sick of imagining everything as a prey animal? What if I preferred to be a wolf? Or perhaps a snake? What then?” Sentry folded his arms across his chest. “A wolf would have been smarter than to stumble into my lair and a snake would have done so quietly.” The creature replied, not lowering the crossbow. The bridge of his nose wrinkled a moment and he sniffed the air. “Wait a moment...sulfur...and cherries...You're dealing with Raphael.” His lips twisted in a snarl of rage. “Not willingly, I promise.” Sentry scoffed, rolling his eyes. “But look, tell me something because I'm curious...maybe I'm weighing my options here? What's your history with that smarmy asshole?” “Raphael trapped me here ages ago with his damned contract.” The creature's nostrils flared, rage burning behind his eyes.

Sentry nodded his head, putting on a look of deep thought. “I see...And this contract, can I see it?” He noted the creature's incredulous expression. “Only, I'm a paladin and my friend here is a damned fine magistrate, perhaps we can pick up something you missed.” “Aha...one moment.” Astarion plastered on a large, false smile as he grabbed Sentry by the shoulder and pulled him in close. “What do you think you're doing!?” He hissed, “Just kill him already! Otherwise Raphael won't help me.” “I'm getting to it... I'm getting to it.” Sentry replied out of the corner of his mouth before turning with a huge grin up at the orthorn. “You can't 'see' it.” The orthorn frowned. “He gave it in the form of a song.” Astarion gave Sentry a withering look as if to say 'well now look what you've done' as the hulking devil paused a moment and began to sing, his tone flat and following no particular key to speak of. “Spill all the blood sworn to the night, Silence all prayers; smother each rite, Wander Shar's halls; hungry to slay, Leave no Justiciar alive to obey, Leave none to hear it, then be set free; This song is your oath, swear, swear it to me.” Sentry winced and gave an awkward half-clap. “Well, we won't be seeing you on any grand stages any time soon, but it gets the point across....” Shadowheart nudged Sentry and her eyes flicked towards the company of merregons flanking the party, they had stood silent and at attention the entire time. Sentry raised a brow and looked at her in confusion, just barely catching the sudden twitch of her ears. “Oh! Well, they've got ears, haven't they?” Sentry asked, gesturing to the small army. The devil looked at him, somewhat dumbfounded. “They are merregons, they are made only to follow orders, they don't have a thought between them.” “Thoughts, no, ears, yes.” Sentry insisted. “They've heard the song, and yet they're still here.” The orthorn seemed to ponder this a moment, but could not find fault in the tiefling's logic. He nodded to his soldiers and gave them a gesture and within moments, every single merregon had fallen upon their own blade. “It didn't work...” The creature growled, eyeing Sentry with a warning look. But by now, Sentry understood what Shadowheart had meant and he nodded towards the displacer beast. “Your companion has ears AND a mind to comprehend.” He continued.

“Kill Nessa? But...” The orthorn paused a moment, gazing mournfully at the sleek, shadowy creature. He sighed heavily and leveled his crossbow. “Hold still, my beauty...” As the beast collapsed to the ground, lifeless, he snarled with rage. “And still I remain!” The voice in the back of Sentry's mind solved this quandary, urging the paladin on. “But sir, you've heard the song as well...” The devil's eyes widened and a hollow laugh escaped his throat, his expression a mask of rage. “Of course...that bastard would....” He shook his head and glared down at Sentry. “If this doesn't work either, I will return from the hells and hunt you to the ends of the earth...” He snarled as he drew a dagger and handily disemboweled himself, his body slumping over lifeless as his innards spilled. “Well...that's one way of getting the job done...No need to find Raphael, I suppose...he usually does a good job of finding us first...” Astarion folded his arms, taking in the scene of carnage. “Told you I wouldn't let you down.” Sentry smiled confidently. “You certainly do have a honeyed tongue, Sentry.” Halsin remarked, gazing somewhat uncertainly at the havoc that tongue had wrought. “Shall we look around? He's bound to have had some kind of treasure, maybe a powerful weapon or two?” Sentry suggested. “I mean, waste not, want not and all?” “See, I knew there was a reason I liked you.” Astarion smirked. --- Back at camp, Kroger stole nervous glances towards the corner where Arabella had immediately latched onto the camp's mysterious benefactor. She bombarded Withers with question after question and showed no fear towards the undead being, seeming to regard him as an indulgent grandfather almost.

“I should tell her...I shouldn't keep it to myself, it's cruel to let her hope for so long...”The ghustil frowned to himself, inhaling deeply as he tried to work up the nerve to tell the child what he had seen in the house of healing. After all, there was no leniency or indulgence for githyanki children, they were forced to confront such things far younger and far more viscerally. But no, Kroger remembered those feelings, he remembered being expected to handle so much so young. His upbringing told him it was meant to make him strong, but his instinct as a healer told him he had needed, more than that, deserved tenderness. There was too little tenderness in his world when he was young and too little in this girl's world right now. “Brother?” Kroger was shaken from his thoughts by Octavia's interruption. “Sorry to startle you, it's just the others are returning, I thought you might want to see to any injuries, especially considering how you only just finished treating Mr. Ojeda not too long ago.” She continued before making her way to where Gale was cooking a meal to help him. Kroger nodded. Yes, the distraction he needed. He slowly rose to his feet and met the returning party at the fire. He noted Sentry had a large grin across his face and looked slightly dazed. Pressing a palm over his eyes and inhaling deeply, Kroger braced himself to hear what the group had gotten themselves into. “Well, we came through it mostly unscathed, actually.” Shadowheart assured him. Then her expression fell, nose wrinkled in disgust. “And then Sentry had to taste a dead spider we found and he's been weird ever since.” Kroger sighed and shook his head, approaching Sentry. He produced a small wand of light from his pouch and waved it at differing angles in front of Sentry's eyes, deactivating the spell and putting it away, taking out a small metal rod and looking up at the tiefling. “Open your mouth and stick out your tongue, Mr. Ojeda...”

Once Sentry had been examined and Kroger was satisfied the effects of the strange ingestion were temporary, Sentry joined Astarion at his tent and the familiar scent of sulfur and cherries filled the air. Yugir was right, that really was a disgusting scent, Sentry thought.

“Do you know what happens when a devil is struck down on this charming plane of existence?” The cambion mused, striking his usual self-important pose. “It returns to The Hells. To the very point where it last stood before venturing into whatever Devilforsaken plane it died on...” He gave a chuckle and a nasty little smirk. “In the case of our friend Yugir, the Orthorn you so handily dispatched in the Temple of Shar, he manifested in my House of Hope.” “Uh-huh...None of which has anything to do with us. The deal was kill him, we did that. Now tell Astarion what he wants to know.” Sentry demanded, arms folded across his chest. The tiefling was unimpressed with Raphael's posturing and pretty poetry. He still wasn't sure why, but he had less trust, less tolerance for this man than the rest of the party did. Something scratched and gnawed at the back of his mind that even before the incident with Mol, he had reason to dislike Raphael. “Yes, exactly! We did as you asked, now I want what I'm owed. We had a deal.” Astarion glared at Raphael, impatient and irritated that the cambion would, of course, drag this out as much as possible. Raphael's smirk widened. “Indeed we did. I discovered all there is to know about those scars of yours. Rather a grim tale, even for my own tastes...” “Sure, I'll bet.” Sentry snorted. “You're just trying to frighten him so you get something for nothing.” Astarion nodded. “I don't care how gruesome it is, I need to know.” Though he did for a split second seem a big apprehensive, did Sentry note fear in his eyes? “As you wish...” Raphael chuckled darkly. “ Brace yourself, Astarion! We are about to uncover your destiny.” The cambion gestured grandly. “Carved into that ivory skin of yours is one part of an infernal contract between the archdevil Mephistopheles and your former master, Cazador Szarr.” Sentry grimaced. He was afraid of that. The wording did seem official, though he had chalked that assumption up to his own lack of experience in legal matters and hadn't wanted to hazard a guess and risk being wrong, frightening the other man for no reason. He looked to Astarion, checking to see if he was still alright. The vampire was listening intently.

Raphael continued. “In full, the contract states that Cazador will be granted knowledge of an infernal ritual so vile it has never been performed....” Raphael's expression grew dark and serious as he intoned nearly reverently. “The Rite of Profane Ascension.” Sentry and Astarion looked at one another, Sentry's expression one of concern, saying without words that he was here, that Astarion was safe. Astarion for his part held a look of equal parts fear and fascination. “It promises to be a marvelous ceremony, very elaborate, incredibly ancient, and entirely diabolical.” Raphael smirked, his gaze remaining on his captive audience. “If he completes the rite, he will become a new kind of being-- The Vampire Ascendant!” “And what would that entail?” Sentry raised a brow. “All the strengths of his vampiric form will be amplified, and alongside them, he will enjoy the luxuries of the living.” Raphael replied smugly. “The arousals and appetites of man will return to him, and, unlike Astarion, he will have no need of a parasite to protect him from the sun.” “The catch? I mean, apart from it being Cazador and all...” Sentry asked, impatiently. The nasty gleam in Raphael's eyes grew brighter. “Ah yes, the ritual has a price, as do all things worth while...” He leaned in closer. “ Lord Cazador will need to sacrifice a number of souls, including all of his vampiric spawn if he is to ascend...” The cambion laughed aloud. “Imagine, then, how he felt when one of those spawn simply disappeared into thin air...” “Well, I guess it's not a problem then. He won't be ascending because I will never allow him to lay a hand on Astarion.” Sentry replied, instinctively taking a protective step in front of Astarion.

“Either way, our business has concluded and I have much to do elsewhere.” Raphael smirked, Sentry's protective nature was almost adorable. With a snap of his fingers he disappeared in a cloud of red smoke. Astarion frowned, looking at the ground pensively, his eyes fearful but with intense thought behind them. Sentry reached out to him, not touching, not without permission, but leaving his hand open just inches from his shoulder if he need him. “I meant what I said, that rancid old shit won't touch you ever again.” Sentry assured him. “You've got not just me, but all of us. We're stronger together.” The paladin smiled gently. “Cazador wouldn't let me slip away so easily when I was just another plaything, now I know he'll never stop hunting me....” Astarion replied. “He'll keep coming after me until the end of days...” He inhaled deeply. “The only way I can be safe is to kill him.” Sentry's expression brightened. “You know me, I'm really good at that! I'll be right by your side when the time comes.” Astarion smiled and finally allowed himself to lean into Sentry's touch. “Thank you.”

----- After a night's rest, the party had returned to their explorations of the temple ruins. Several uneventful encounters with skeletons and ghostly justiciars led to a strange room, which Sentry half-way recognized as a necromancer's lab of some sort. Ghouls skulked about tidying and replacing incredients, and a large man in a black robe stood at a table guarded by an even large creature of twisted flesh. “Hmm...Not many True Souls could make it this far...” The man gave a wicked smile in Sentry's direction. “You should be proud.” The man looked so familiar, Sentry was sure he had seen him before, even just in passing. Something about him struck a similar chord to Raphael, that instant visceral dislike. “I am Balthazar, advisor to General Thorm...and since you have made it this far, I can only assume you're here to assist me in aiding him...” The man continued, steepling his large, wormlike fingers.

As he spoke, Sentry's eyes drifted to what seemed to be a specimen shelf and his eyes fell on an odd little bottle. Inside there seemed to swim a brain in a viscous green liquid. The colors were enchanting, so charming together. Sentry's mind swam with ideas, the textures such a brain could make as a painting tool and the tint that greenish liquid could give to the right shade of paint. Or, another sculpture, perhaps one of those creatures he had encountered on the nautiloid. He was barely aware of what the necromancer was proposing. “Yeah, yes...we came to help...um...from Ketheric.” Sentry nodded. “If you want to go over the details further with my companions...” He began to inch towards the shelf, by some miracle, either the necromancer didn't notice or assumed Sentry wouldn't do anything. “Yes, I'll take the details. I'm far better at keeping them in mind, our friend is a bit absent minded.” Shadowheart easily picked up with a cover story, her Sharran training on full display as she pretended to be another agent of General Ketheric here to retrieve his artifact. As the necromancer explained the details to Shadowheart, who nodded along and occasionally asked what could have easily been a pertinent question, Sentry palmed the bottle and slid it into his pack before making his way back over. “Fascinating specimens, really just top notch...and that fleshwork you've got there, did I hear you tell my accomplice he was your brother? Amazing.” Sentry nodded with approval, looking up at the creature. “In part, yes—my unborn twin. Mother always resented me for it, said I strangled him in the womb if you believe such tripe.” The necromancer sneered. “Ah, yeah, I've heard similar, I had a sister once with seven twins...um...I feel like there's a word for that, but anyway, she killed them all too...of course, they had already been born at the time, I think she was twelve years old, as she told me...Still, similar stories.” Did he have a sister like that? Or was it just an old story that popped into his head? For some reason, the beautiful smiling elf from his fractured memories came to mind and he made a mental note that she was probably dangerous.

“At any rate, once I developed my powers, I fetched him from the graveyard, brought him back—gave him a new, better body...” The man sighed and shook his head. “Alas, mother was not pleased...” “That's too bad, you know, sometimes parents just don't understand real artistry. That certainly is phenomenal work on his new body...I hope she eventually understood.” Sentry gave a sympathetic nod. “And how's your mother now?” “Oh, we're still close.” The necromancer grinned wickedly. “She's in that jar on the shelf over there.” He blinked and paused as he noticed the jar was missing, his eyes widening. “This jar?” Sentry asked innocently, producing the one he'd stolen from his pack and holding it up. The necromancer sputtered a moment, reeling with angry. “ What the...!? Give me back my mother this instant!” “But she has so much potential...” Sentry frowed, drawing the jar back to himself, holding it up to his face and gazing through the green liquid at the necromancer.. Shadowheart was hiding a mirthful grin behind her hand and Astarion looked ready to burst out laughing. Halsin looked rather ill. The necromancer cried out and aimed a ray of green energy at Sentry, who quickly leapt out of the way. “Damn! And here I thought you were a fellow artist!”

----- Octavia frowned. Usually Gale would be starting to cook by now, but there was no fire prepared and the smell of food was uncharacteristically absent from the camp. She looked around for any sign of him, and finding none, she approached his tent, coming face to face with a shimmering simulacrum instead.

“Greetings! I am here on behalf of Gale of Waterdeep, he wishes you to join him at another location, I can take you there when you are ready.” The figured beamed. “Oh...um...yes, I'm ready.” Octavia nodded and took the figure's hand, finding herself in a clearing beneath a sky full of brilliant stars. Gale sat not far from where she had arrived and she walked over to join him, sitting beside him and smiling. “What a beautiful place!” She beamed. “You imagined all of it?” She breathed, gazing in awe at the stars. Somewhere far beyond them was her home. “Yes....having time to contemplate one's mortality will often make a person sentimental...” Gale nodded, leaning back. “I...I wanted to thank you for traveling with me, for all you've done...” “Of course! For a charming man like you? Anyone would have.” Octavia beamed, joining Gale in reclining a bit more. “Gods, this is such a perfect night...is it one you remember distinctly or just what you might imagine one to look like?” She continued. Gale gave her a small, sad smile. “I've spent much of my time absorbed in study and entwined in the weave itself, so I must confess this is put together from what I've read and from what I've seen on our journey.” Octavia nodded gently, her fingertips softly brushing his hand. “Then you are a powerful wizard indeed to conjure this from imagination.” “You could as well, Octavia. The power and potential you've shown while we've traveled together, the brilliant mind you possess....” He began and then sighed. “You make me wish I had more time...” He shook his head. Octavia gripped his hand, squeezing it tightly, she frowned a bit. “And you don't because Mystra decrees it?” She looked up at him with those wide, eloquent eyes.

Gods, she was giving him the reproachful look Tara gave him so often, usually when he was doing something foolish. “It's the only way to defeat The Absolute....” “Is it?” Octavia cocked her head to one side curiously, “Because did Mystra not also decree that her followers, and especially her chosen should preserve magic in all its forms?” Gale opened his mouth to respond, but Octavia held up a hand. “Why then are you being punished for trying to do just that, Gale Dekarios?” Gale thought a moment, lowering his head and exhaling deeply. “Let's...let's not talk about that just now...I actually brought you here because I wanted to confess something...” He took both of Octavia's hands in his, his deep brown eyes meeting her bright lizard-like blue eyes. “I love you, Octavia of Creche K'liir...and I wanted to spend just one night with you before...before the end.” Octavia blushed, smiling softly. “Oh Gale...There were signs, certainly, but I have made errors before, so I said nothing, but...” She pressed her forehead to his. Her skin was smooth and cool to the touch. “I love you too...and though it doesn't seem it now, there will not BE an end, not so soon...but you're right, for now let's simply enjoy one another's company.” The world around them faded and reformed, a beautiful, cozy study taking the place of the quiet glade. Octavia's face lit up as she gazed around in awe. A real wizard's tower! She had only seen them in books or a few lesser ones once or twice when a curious fellow mage would invite her to share knowledge and a meal. Gale's was beyond all of them, however, books lined every wall and more still were stacked on desks, comfortable chairs, ornate statues, and even out on the sun drenched balcony which overlooked a beautiful harbor. “I could stay in this place forever....” Octavia breathed, leaning against the balcony rail and gazing out at the sky. She smiled, pressing her body to his as Gale slid an arm around her waist and leaned in close.

“There's more I can show you, if you like....wonders of the weave itself that even few wizards experience....” He smiled gently. “Then show me. I'm eager to learn.” Octavia gave a coy, playful smile. “And don't be shy, I have loved before, even if never in the way you're suggesting...I like to try new things.” ---- “You know, my memory isn't all that great, but when I became a paladin I don't think I had to jump through nearly as many hoops.” Sentry groaned as the party picked their way over the fallen undead justiciars and made their way into the library's vault to retrieve the sacred weapon which was said to lie within. “Well, that's simply because Ilmater is not as discerning as my lady.” Shadowheart replied, placing the correct book on the pedestal and standing before the massive golden embossed door, waiting as it lowered and stepping in to claim her price. The magnificent spear glimmered before her along with a set of beautifully crafted armor and she breathed deeply as her trembling fingers brushed the shaft of the weapon. Sentry rolled his eyes. “Pretty rude for someone who still needs me to cover them in battle.” The tiefling murmured. He glanced at the weapon and whistled. “That IS a pretty fine weapon, though...the blade looks particularly nasty...” “If all the pomp and circumstance is through with can we PLEASE find this Nightsong and get out of here? I'm all for the whole gloomy crypt look, but even I'm getting tired of this place.” Astarion whined, folding his arms across his chest like a petulant child.

“Far be it for me to complain, but this place truly is far from welcoming.” Halsin added. “We're almost through, I can feel it. My destiny awaits.” Shadowheart took a deep breath as the party made their way back up to continue on. After making use of the strange glowing baubles they'd found in each tedious trial, they crossed the black expanse on another floating platform. Sentry marveled at the statues they passed. Not his preferred medium at all, but he recognized the craftsmanship that went into depicting the goddess of night and every painstaking detail of her elaborate garb and beautiful yet cruel face. They made their way through a final door and into what appeared to be an ancient baptismal bath. The silence was oppressive, but still Shadowheart went to her knees in the water and began to pray. Astarion rolled his eyes impatiently, but Sentry and Halsin both gave him a look which plainly said 'this is important, do not interrupt her.' Sentry understood all too well communion with one's god, and though he wasn't sure he'd ever heard Ilmater's voice, he was well aware the anger he'd feel if he was disrupted while speaking to Commander Ojeda's spirit. Finally, Shadowheart rose to her feet and inclined her head. “Thank you for your patience. We'll press onward now...” And the party ventured forward into the water, slowly sinking, the darkness enveloping them until they emerged on the other side into what felt like a tempest. Shadowheart led the way over the craggy terrain and across the daunting gaps in space. Spirits of past justiciar hopefuls whispered their wisdom on all sides and the storm grew louder. Finally, the party alighted on the final platform, where a pale woman in rags, her body struck through with gold scars, struggled against phantasmal bindings.

“Another would-be Justiciar come to seek the praise of your wicked goddess, come to drive a dagger through my heart...” She woman spat, pacing the floor and glaring at Shadowheart as she regarded her distrustfully. “Not a dagger, a spear.” Shadowheart replied forcefully, hefting the beautiful weapon she had acquired. “My Lady Shar's spear!” Shadowheart turned to Sentry and looked intensely up into his eyes. “Her fate is mine to seal, let me handle this!” The woman shook her head and frowned. “The fate you seal is your own, to be a Dark Justiciar is to turn your heart from everything but loss. You will know no love, no joy, only servitude.” Sentry felt a gnawing in the pit of his stomach at those words. The love he couldn't remember, the sharp jolts of pain throughout his entire body while he saw only red agony, the compulsions that tormented him, the nagging voice in his mind urging him towards evil. He felt a chill through his body, but he took a deep breath. This was Shadowheart's choice, whether he liked it or not. “Until your mistress inevitably discards you...” The woman continued, her expression softening, her eyes held a look of truth to them, she did not seem to care about saving her own skin, only warning Shadowheart away from this awful fate. “And there is much she does not tell you-- a terrible blood price which may extend beyond my own death...” Sentry looked to Shadowheart uncertainly. There was hesitation, she didn't seem certain anymore. Behind that look of determination, there was doubt. If she did this, Sentry worried for her, what her future would be. He had felt this worry before, he realized, though the memory of who it was for was shrouded. He reached out to her. The woman was eyeing Sentry curiously, clearly it was obvious to her that he was not a Sharran, but she seemed to hold no expectation that he would intervene, only that his presence here meant something was very different than the trials of justiciars past.

Sentry inhaled deeply and placed a hand on Shadowheart's shoulder. “I trust your judgment, Shadowheart, I know you'll do what's right.” The half-elf paused a moment, gripping the spear tightly in trembling hands and squeezing her eyes shut tightly. She bit her lip as though fighting back a thought clawing at her mind and for one awful moment, Sentry's own mind raced with excitement, eager to see celestial blood spilled, but he forced it down, no, he didn't want this. But it was Shadowheart's choice....And as he waited with bated breath, he saw his trust was well founded. “...for I know you, a lost child frightened by wolves in the dark...” Shadowheart gasped. “What did you say?” “Much has been promised to you, but what do you know of your own heart, of your own life?” The woman asked. She gazed at Shadowheart, pale grey eyes locking with bright green. “I sense more in you than you know...” The spear flew over the edge of the platform as Shadowheart hurled it into the abyss below them, breathing heavily, eyes wide as it dawned on her that she had betrayed Shar. She had failed her goddess. Sentry offered her am arm for support. “I can't belief I just did that...defied Lady Shar....she will disown me...” Shadowheart murmured, still trembling. “What will happen to me?” “Not what will happen, what will you do...” The Nightsong corrected her gently. “Your past is not yet lost and your future is not yet fixed.” She explained. She knelt before Shadowheart, even going as far as to bow her head in trust to the girl who might have killed her. “Lay a hand on me in friendship, not-quite-Sharran, and I will fight that battle that has awaited me this last century. And then, oh then, we shall have much to discuss.”

Sentry took a step back, allowing the two their space, and he kept watch beside Astarion and Halsin as Shadowheart hesitantly approached, laying her hand on the woman's shoulder. The air around them grew cleary, the darkness abating even if only a little. It felt as though strains of reverent song rang out through The Shadowfell as the woman's fist connected brutally with the ground in rhythmic succession and her rags were transformed in glimmering armor the color of pure moonlight and inlaid with blue gems and glass. A beautiful sword appeared in her hands and pristine golden wings extended from her shoulders. Shadowheart gazed in disbelief at the figure before her and Sentry was unable to hide his awe as a fellow paladin. She was a creature of legend, a true being of light. And with one final glance down at her rescuers, she inclined her head gracefully and flew off at great speed from her prison. A shimmering portal appeared in her stead and the party made their way towards it. “You know, I'm kind of surprised Shar is this quiet about being defied, I'd always heard what a jealous goddess she was.” Sentry mused as his eyes darted around the relatively unchanged domain. “Still, I guess better safe than sorry, we should probably leave.” “A fair point...I shudder to think what's in store for me..” Shadowheart whispered, gazing fearfully behind her as the party left the Shadowfell.

[analogsystemiiboi]

Nowadays I'm constantly pushing people away. "People" not only meaning the world around me but my relatives. Either they pushed me away without me realizing or I'm the one pushing them away because I'm afraid they'll do it before I do. And I don't like to be pushed away because I'm trying so hard to be a good person. I try to change. And sometimes I manage to convince myself that I'm a better person. But let me break it to you : nobody really changes. What's bred in the bone comes out of the flesh. So I'd rather push people away before they do. Being alone by my own doing rather than being alone because other people decided.

.

Maybe I push people away because I don't want them around when I finally die. Whenever I'm trying to imagine my death, trying to ignore the possible endless pain if I miss my shot when I do, my thoughts are polluted by the thought of my relatives being sad. That's probably my hypersensitivity speaking. I don't want them to suffer, but on the other hand I'm tired of suffering and it seems like no one cares if I do.

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It's really not the first time I post dark thoughts from my head here, but no one takes the time to read, to understand. People usually read and listen to answer and not to understand. I think that's why I feel misunderstood. If they tried to understand, life would be much easier. Instead, I'm constantly arguing, with everyone and anyone, because I have so much trouble explaining myself correctly and directly, I need many second thoughts on what I've just said and so I'm always getting back to try and explain better, so afraid people will get it the wrong way and start arguing.

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Recently I've learned that the concept of "best friend" sucks more than anything else. Not one human being is above the other, not one. Not even your "best friend" because you never fully know people and who they are. It takes only a few months or a few years for someone to radically change and then you don't recognize them anymore. Even tho "what's breed in the bone comes out of the flesh", people changes for a while because they're searching for who they really are. You're not who you really are when surrounded. You can be yourself alone. But you'll never be the same when you're not. You tend to copy things your friends say or do because you like them and want recognition from them. They probably do the same because it's in human nature to try and please others by being like them.

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By all the Gods and Goddesses, even my faith is going extinct. Watching the world being burned to the ground by my own kind is too hard. What are they doing ? I'm not asking about the human race. I'm asking about the Gods and Goddesses. What are they waiting for? Just kill us all already, we've done too much, I think it's time. There is no going back, we can't heal the wounds we caused for so long. We don't have time. But writing this I realize we deserve to suffer until the end. Well, not the young generations. But the human race deserve to suffer like hell before the end. You reap what you sow.

[abarbaricyalp]

Idk if you are still taking prompts, but you know the vine two dudes chilling in a hot tub 5 feet apart cause they're not gay, and a girl quoting it in a park about two girls in the distance and one of them hearing and going "Actually I am gay" Like that scenario, only involving them fixing the boat? Maybe Sarah quoting it to give Sam shit when she thinks Bucky cant hear and Bucky goes "Wait, no I'm gay" or something, or just the general gist of that. Sorry if this us too specific, I've never sent anyone a prompt before :P

Hello Friend! Thank you so much for sending anything in at all! I know the vine you're talking about, but I couldn't find it on Youtube. (I did find a two day rabbit hole of old compilations though) This was also my first foray into writing Sarah as a fully fleshed character! I was excited to get the practice 'cause I had an idea bouncing around in my head about her and Bucky talking after he wakes up in the Wilson house. I kept her a little more like she had been in my other fics pre-show here. I so wish we got a little more of her!

Feel free, anyone, to send me Sambucky prompts!

The North American Superhero in a Domestic Situation

Sarah Wilson loved her brother deeply. The kind of soul crushing love that could only be formed through family, loss, and approximately four thousand brawls around the living room throughout their life. She looked up to her brother more than she could ever imagine looking up to anyone. Even when they were fighting or picking on each other, she couldn’t help but feel a swell in her chest when he came into her line of sight.

That didn’t mean she understood him. In fact, from the age of eight, watching her brother interact with the world had become her go-to pastime. Why did he have to roll every pea around the plate individually before eating them? Why did he and his friends spend seven years socking each other in the arm to prove friendship? Why did he talk to himself in the mirror, even when he knew Sarah or someone else was standing in the doorway?

Sam Wilson was just deeply weird. She had no idea how he had tricked the Avengers, a plethora of bad guys, and half of the media world into thinking he was remotely cool. She saw a news story once that had King T’Challa standing on a platform with Sam and the newscasters talked about how impressive Sam’s suit was. It was unnatural, the effect he had on people.

And in all her years, she never thought she’d see anyone weirder than Sam. But then James Barnes had showed up. It was like a complete reversal of Sam. Sarah was taken in for approximately three hours by his charm and face before she realized he too was deeply, deeply weird.

She justified sitting on the edge of the Paul and Darlene, watching her brother and James Barnes spar off about some dumb trivia fact, by deciding it was an anthropological expedition. The North American Superhero in a Domestic Situation. She watched Sam watch Barnes take a long pull off his beer. She watched Barnes kick his feet up near Sam’s legs and then draw them back quickly when a current jolted the boat. She watched Barnes’ fingers tap-tap-tap against the edge of the boat, inching closer to Sam’s shoulder before he chickened out and brought his hand back to his own lap. She watched Sam suggest Bucky take his jacket off, ‘unless you plan on sun blinding me with the robocop arm.’ She watched Sam look away when Barnes did shrug his jacket off.

When she was seventeen and Sam was fifteen, she had found Sam crying in his room, pillow pressed to his face to muffle the noise. They were at the age where going into each other’s rooms uninvited started international conflicts, but Sarah, who watched her brother intently, felt like she knew what was going on. So she let herself in through their Jack-and-Jill bathroom and shut the door behind her.

Sam didn’t stop crying, not even to yell at her to get out, so she sat on the end of his bed and rolled a baseball under her foot for a while. Finally, she’d said, “You don’t have to tell Mom and Dad, y’know.”

Sam had just about wailed and bit the corner of his pillow to stop himself.

“That’s gross, stop it,” Sarah ordered and pushed Sam’s shoulder back enough to yank his pillow free and then reached over to wipe the tears from his cheeks. “I should make you do the laundry this week so I know I’m not touching your snot germs,” she teased softly.

“How did you know?” Sam hiccuped out. Tears were still brimming at his eyes, but they didn’t fall.

“I’m your older sister. I made you. Like a doll. You think there’s something about you that I don’t know?” she joked. And when the tears did spill over his long lashes, she sighed and pulled him closer to her side. “I just know the way you interact with that boy from the basketball team ain’t just friendly.”

“Jesus, do you think he can tell?” Sam asked and she could hear the mortification in his voice.

“Sam, he’s a freshman in high school. The only thing he knows is that he’s scared of everything too. No one’s paying that much attention to you.”

“Screw you,” Sam muttered.

“What’re all these tears for you if you didn’t make a move and get shot down?”

“God, Sarah, can you not say things like that?”

“Watch your mouth,” Sarah warned with no heat in her voice. “Come on, tell me what’s wrong. I’m not leaving until you do.”

“I just…” Sam sat up and worked his jaw for a while. His chin dimpled and his eyes watered but he managed to control himself. “I’m scared, Sarah. I’m scared of never being in love. Of having to leave if I am. I’m scared to say something and I’m scared not to say something. I’m so scared of...losing any of it.”

“Sam,” Sarah sighed and pulled Sam into another hug. “You’re fifteen. You’re not supposed to be in love yet. You don’t have to think about any of that. You just have to focus on passing Geometry, alright? Mom’ll whoop your ass more for failing than anything else.”

“I have a B+, that’s not failing!” Sam snapped. He kept his face against her shoulder for a second long before he sat up and wiped his tears away. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“Who am I gonna tell? I told you, my friends don’t like you as much as you think they do.”

“Your friends like me more than they like you,” Sam shot back and he almost sounded normal.

Sarah smiled softly and patted Sam’s cheek. “I won’t tell Mom or Dad. Of course not. That’s for you to do. But--”

“I’m always going to tell them when you sneak out the window.”

“No! Sam! You can’t! You owe me now!”

“Going to field parties is not the same thing!” Sam said in a shriek as Sarah leaned over to pinch his sides. They grappled for a second before Sam managed to push Sarah off the bed.

“You owe me,” she reminded him as she walked back to the bathroom.

Sam wiped his eyes again and nodded. “Sure, Sarah. I do.”

Sam almost had the same look on his face now. Like there was something he wanted to reach for that he thought was too impossible to hold. The Older Sister Instinct to Antagonize into a Solution kicked in.

“Two bros, chilling on a boat, five feet apart ‘cause they’re not gay,” she sing-songed. Sam looked mortified again but masked his face into something more irritated with a roll of his eyes when Barnes looked over at him.

“Ignore her. It’s this old video--” Sam started.

But Bucky interrupted to say, “Actually I am gay,” as he looked back over at Sarah. “Sorry if I got your hopes up,” he added with a grin that really did get the hopes up.

“What?” Sam asked and Sarah, ever watchful, could see the beer bottle shaking in his hand.

“What?” Bucky repeated innocently.

“He said he’s gay,” Sarah clarified.

“Thank you, Sarah,” Sam ground out. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

Bucky snorted. “When would I have said anything? ‘Sorry for ripping your wings off and kicking you off of a hellicarrier, by the way I’m gay.’?”

“You did what?” Sarah asked.

“‘Sorry for claiming I didn’t bomb the UN only to be reverted back to the assassin who would have done that and then fighting you again. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Thanks for saving my life. Sorry about the giant undersea prison. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘There’s an imminent battle with weird ass space dogs that want to eat our faces. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Sorry about Tony Stark, whose life I kind of ruined. Lovely funeral. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘I’m in the middle of being pissed at you about the Shield. By the way I’m gay.’ ‘Maybe don’t take me rolling through a field of flowers. It does things to me ‘cause I’m gay.’ ‘John Walker’s fucking insane. I’m gay, but definitely not for this bullshit.’ I mean, come on, Sam.”

“Flowers?” Sarah asked.

“Besides, why would you care? I don’t make it a habit of telling straight guys I’m into guys.”

“You don’t seem to make a habit of telling many people that,” Sarah pointed out. “I googled you. Nothing suggesting that came up.”

Bucky shrugged. “I’m a guy from the 30s. It was trained out of me.”

“Wait, wait, wait,” Sarah said quickly. “Back up away from that because we’re not gonna try to Oppression Olympics our way through our histories. Did you just say Sam was straight?”

“Sarah!” Sam hissed.

“Sure. I mean, I saw him with Romanov. Hill. He has Tinder on his phone.”

“Samuel Thomas, you better not,” Sarah warned lightly. “You’re better than that.”

“He’s a lady-killer.”

Sarah snorted and had to bring her hand up to her face. “He definitely is not. There has been no lady-killing on his end for a long time.”

“Sarah!” Sam tried again.

“You explain it to him then. Mr. 30s is gonna need the long way round explanation.”

Sam sighed and dragged his hand over his face. “Dammit. Fine. I’m not straight either, alright? I’m...bi, or something. It’s been a while since I’ve had to think about it.”

“What?” Bucky asked, not unlike Sam had.

“He said he’s bisexual. Interested in both parties. Swings either way. Hit a homerun and then hasn’t really swung since.”

“Sarah, Jesus Christ,” Sam groaned.

“What?” Bucky asked again.

“I was engaged. To a man,” Sam said.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Bucky asked, clearly missing the irony.

“Oh, it was inconvenient for you but I had plenty of opportunities, huh?” Sam asked. “Ms. Tell-It-All over there wasn’t joking. I haven’t swung any direction in a while. Not since before I met Steve. My fiance died. And then it never came up.”

Bucky blinked at Sam. He kept bringing the bottle halfway up his body and then setting it back on his leg without ever taking a drink. “Fuck, Sam, I’m sorry,” Bucky said, which was not what Sarah was expecting and it clearly wasn’t what Sam was expecting because Sam finally moved closer to Bucky on the bench.

“What for? You didn’t do anything. This time.”

“Yeah, but if I’d known you were into me too, I woulda kissed you in Germany.”

“Oh, I am so not into you,” Sam denied. “And I wouldn’t have our first kiss ruined by immediately running into the government’s roving show monkey.”

“That’s the worst,” Bucky agreed and also finally moved over on the bench until they were pressed thigh to thigh. “Tell me how much you don’t like me again,” he challenged.

“I can’t stand you,” Sam answered and brought his hand up to Bucky’s jaw.

Sarah couldn’t fight down the grin that came to her face and turned to prop her feet on the pier, back to Sam and Bucky. Just this once, she didn’t need to watch her brother to understand him.

Read on AO3 here!

[rivalsforlife]

opinions/speculations/ramblings on that lotr show

I need something to speculate about while I'm waiting to be let down yet again in september by a lack of ace attorney announcements. and I really enjoy speculating/theorizing about stuff and having my opinions written down to look back on later, so, ahead of sdcc (and while my brain is no longer actively rotting from the possibility of oath of feanor) I wanted to cover those for the lotr second age show! this is really just for me and my own records but anyone else who wants to read it is welcome to.

head's up that if anyone is planning to go into the show blind I'm both going to discuss common rumors and canonical material that covers stuff happening later in the show, which may spoil things. also this probably will be long I have a lot to say about elves.

Overall this show is really interesting to me as it's like a mix of canonical material that was never fully fleshed out but also has some original things. So it's an adaptation in some senses but original in other senses. Everyone who's gone through the Silm and assorted other History of Middle Earth books has a concept in their minds, however vague, of how things shake out in the second age. as do the showrunners. this will undoubtedly result in a clash.

Ultimately the way I want to approach this is: do they tell a story, given the outline tolkien provides, that is entertaining and believable? They have original stuff added, of course, because you can't do a direct adaptation of the second age stories because Tolkien never got the chance to add enough to create an adaptation about it. That's the challenge of adapting the second age! And nobody has any idea how good they're going to do at that until they've already done it. It's sort of an approach to fanfiction. Yeah, this isn't canon, you're not retelling the story, but is what you're doing in character and entertaining or not?

I'll just like... go over the plotlines that they have with my general thoughts on how excited/nervous I am for them? The show has a lot of potential and could either be excellent or absolutely awful, and based on what we know so far, I'll cover which directions it's pushing it for me. Of course though trailers can be very misleading, so.

1. NOLDOOOOOR

I am definitely most excited about elves. The Silmarillion and particularly the rebellion of the Noldor and particularly the sons of Feanor are my favorite stories in the entire legendarium, so this is definitely the part I'm going to have the most Opinions about.

And I definitely want to hear more about the first age. The flashback to the ominous red scene in the latest trailer (as of when I'm writing this) is super exciting for me. All the First Age battles in my mind are on such a grander scale compared to what we see in the Third Age, and just seeing the sheer... idk power? of that even in flashbacks would be incredible. How the hell did an entire continent sink!! Whether this scene is the Kinslaying at Alqualonde, the Dagor Bragollach, or the War of Wrath... it's going to be incredible. It really puts things into perspective compared to LOTR and the Hobbit, because the First Age was just... so much. So much bloodier so much more death and despair and anguish. I want to see that sooooo badly.

With this time compression thing, though... I should say the time compression is definitely an area of concern for me. Some degree of time compression may be necessary for an adaptation (they did it in LOTR on a significantly smaller scale) but. well. this degree is concerning. Some interviews allude to the world still recovering from the events of the First Age, particularly with Galadriel, as the elves are still speculating about whether evil is gone or not, which is not a conversation I'd be expecting them to have thousands of years in.

At the same time, it's covering the events of the Forging of the Rings, Downfall of Numenor, and Last Alliance in the span of like... one human lifetime. Last Alliance is very definitively the end of the second age. Is the second age like... a few decades here?

I do very much want to hear what the world was like reckoning with the sinking of Beleriand and the downfall of Morgoth. But I have no idea how long it's been since then.

Those are my General Noldor thoughts so I'll get a bit more specific.

Galadriel

ARTANIS NERWEN ALATARIEL GALADRIEL I am excited for her. She has always been so interesting to me and I am looking forward to seeing how she changed from an active participant in the rebellion of the Noldor, to proudly refusing the pardon of the Valar and having a ban placed on her return, to the woman who would later refuse the One Ring despite its extreme temptation. I also would love to see how she's handling the ending of the First Age, being the last of Finwe's Grandchildren that is alive and not crying on a beach somewhere, particularly with the loss of all her brothers.

I keep seeing people complain that she's too "masculine" somehow and I think these people wouldn't recognize a masculine woman if she hit them with her truck. Galadriel is still plenty feminine, and even if she wasn't, I think we can let the woman who has the name that translates to "man-maiden" be a little masculine.

Though she doesn't really have a role in lots of the battles, and her actively going around trying to seek out Sauron and other former servants of Morgoth isn't exactly something covered by Tolkien in canon, it doesn't seem like a stretch to me. She is Wise, so she knows that evil cannot be gone, and she is Proud, so she seeks them out herself to prove she's right. I think that "fighting evil with a sword and looking pretty" is better than her "standing around in a white dress looking pretty", personally. At least part of her playing such a major role is to tie in with movie-only fans, I'm sure, but there are more egregious ways they could have done this.

Strong Proud and Willful Galadriel is the part of her character I always wanted to see more of, so I'm hoping that the show does this part right. I feel like there's a line between being Proud and being more like... arrogant? so we'll have to see how that's handled.

As for things with Galadriel I'm concerned about: I have no idea what's up with Celeborn and Celebrian. She definitely should be married to Celeborn at this point and she's probably already had Celebrian, but with the time compression it's hard to tell since Celebrian is born in the second age. I do hope they're included because I think lots of times characters like Galadriel fighting evil with swords is done when they're young and single and they settle down and marry and have a family later, but Galadriel being a wife and mother but still fighting evil is more hashtag feminist. hashtag give milfs swords. Also since Elrond is fully grown at this point... like, I know Elrond was fully grown before Celebrian was born, and I know how elves aging works, but I'd still feel better if we don't have significant interactions between Elrond and Celebrian when she's still a kid. you know. Elrond getting a crush on her when they first meet as adults is better.

I really liked Cate Blanchett as Galadriel, so that's probably clouding my judgement, but Morfydd Clark looks quite a bit younger than I expected. She looks like she could be Elrond's little sister, not his (future) mother-in-law, and compared to other characters around the same age or younger like Celebrimbor and Gil-Galad she looks very young. But I have no reason to doubt her acting capabilities so far. So maybe I'll get over it?

I also know Galadriel goes to Numenor at some point during this show and interacts a lot with this Halbrand guy who is a Numenorean. When I start speculating about Sauron I'll get into this more. I just... really hope they don't try to do a romantic angle. I'm so fucking sick of romance and Galadriel's at this point married for sure. Also I want her to interact with other elves more, I'm very interested in the current state of Noldorin politics given... everything that just happened in the first age.

Elrond

Elrond. Okay. I'm not totally sold on the appearance here but also I wouldn't exactly say Hugo Weaving was the most perfectly cast Elrond either, so maybe I'll get over it. I heard this actor Robert Aramayo was one of the bigger Tolkien fans on set which is exciting.

Honestly I don't know much about what Elrond is doing in this show, I don't believe they've had an article on him like they have with the other prominent elves. I know he goes to Khazad-dum aka Moria in this first season. Mostly I'm looking forward to his interactions with other elves, like Gil-Galad and Celebrimbor. Celebrimbor is particularly interesting with the case of them both being closest to the sons of Feanor who were probably not held in very high esteem by the end of the First Age, and they both have family ties and fondness to them. I don't think they'll get into this Noldorin politics stuff but I think it would be really cool if they did.

Elrond is pretty young here depending on how long it's been since the end of the First Age. I think if they don't do anything egregious with him he'll be able to go over well in this show. I'm not too worried about him but I also don't know much yet.

Celebrimbor

CELEBRIMBOOOOR I'm excited for this guy. His appearance is not at all how I imagined and it is going to take me a very very very very very long time to get over that, so I hope the acting and characterization is excellent. I don't think he gets a super huge role in the first season until our good friend Annatar comes around, but I'll be excited to see him and see what he's up to.

If Feanorian stuff is addressed like the Oath it'll be super cool to see how his family legacy informs his character; both living in the shadow of Feanor as the greatest craftsman but also living in the shadow of his father and uncles having an extremely bloody legacy at this point that would make him desperate to prove himself as his own person outside of the rest of the House of Feanor, and I think that could be extremely compelling. The one long article they had on him was promising and lined up with my view of the character. I just... wish he didn't look like that. I was very upset when I first saw the leaked photo haha. He looks too old I think and I always envisioned him with long black hair. But, again, I'll get over appearances as long as they write him well. I don't think they'll get into the actual rings until the second season and that'll be make-it-or-break-it for me.

I would like to see him visit Khazad-dum too and have his friendship with the dwarves and the Doors of Durin and stuff like that!! Lots of shots are of Elrond alone there but I hope Celebrimbor gets to go there too. I think it would be fun to see him bonding with Elrond.

Gil-Galad

"I am Gil-Galad, son of [LARGE TRUCK SPEEDS BY], and I think that the Enemy is still out there."

I think it would be so funny if they took a stake there. like if Galadriel addresses him as a cousin or a nephew. The dark hair indicates they might be going with the son of Fingon approach since the house of Finarfin is associated more with golden hair, but Celebrimbor is blond so nothing means anything.

He does look about how I imagined though. Points for that. And they do seem to make him aware of the fact that evil isn't vanquished yet -- some people had concerns that they would make Galadriel the only one wise to Sauron and Gil-Galad would be deceived, but that doesn't seem to be the case, which is a relief.

Honestly I don't think about this guy too often because most of my interest is first age related, but I'd be interested to see more of him. His motivations, his personality, etc. Not too worried about anything and also not too excited about anything here, other than I love the Noldor would love to see how the last High King is handling stuff. I hope they make him very likeable so that his death is very devastating!

I think that covers the prominent Noldor roles and if I forgot something I'll go jump into a pit of fire.

2. TIR-HARAD (and non-Noldorin elves)

This is one of the original plotlines that's happening with original characters. So I'm going to have less thoughts going in. I'm not... toooooo worried about this one? Allegedly it's happening in pre-Mordor Mordor, which would be interesting to see how it's taken over as Sauron rises to power.

There is a non-Noldor elf here, Arondir, I can't remember if he's Sindar or Silvan? I want to say Silvan? Which would be interesting, we don't see a lot of those in major roles.

The part I'm concerned about is that he's in a (siiiiigh) forbidden human-elf romance. Tolkien had three of those, and apparently there aren't any other marriages. So they're not going to get married but they're in love and stuff. I don't really care about romances but I'd rather they do it between original characters than add something in between existing characters, so... yeah.

I can't remember the kid's name. Arondir's girlfriend (Bronwyn I think) has a son. It's like Theo or something that doesn't sound like I'd expect. He has a broken black sword, which people are speculating could be, like, Gurthang, which I think is ridiculous. But it will be neat to see how that plays out as long as it's not too weird.

... Yeah I'm mostly invested in how the land and village changes over time, because they haven't given a lot of information on these characters yet. Hopefully they're good. Hopefully the romance doesn't take up much time that could be dedicated to elf angst.

As for other elves though I'm a little surprised we haven't heard much about the Sindar. Like, Oropher and Thranduil. I totally thought that would be something they'd go for to tie in to Legolas for that sweet sweet fan nostalgia, but nothing has mentioned them so far. I guess that's a good sign, but sorry to all the Legolas fans out there.

3. NUMENOR

Numenor is going to be hit pretty hard by the time compression since we're not seeing generations of kings die. Tar-Miriel seems to already be in power here. Honestly, I need to reread the Akallabeth to get the series of events straight in my head, so I don't have a lot of thoughts at the moment.

Pharzaron is currently advisor to the Queen, but we know he's going to force her to marry him and take over the title of King that way, and that's going to really suck to watch. Right now Pharzaron looks to be aging, so that's what makes me think all of these events are going to happen super fast. Seeing Numenor would be cool, I think the sequence of Iluvatar throwing it into the sea is going to be very cool, but that's not going to be for a while. I'm not sure how they're going to fill a lot of time with Numenor until they actually get to a dedicated Numenor arc, though.

Apparently the giant statue in the city of which the name escapes me is a statue of Earendil, which is VERY cool. Love the idea of Elros wanting a statue of his dad made. I would love for Elrond to eventually get some time to go to Numenor and see it and see what's going on with his brother's descendants (and be disappointed, undoubtedly). That kind of reference stuff is stuff I'm really looking forwards too.

4. DWARVES

Sorry I don't really care about the dwarves that much I don't have a ton to say. But I think these are the guys hit hardest by the time compression because Durin III and Durin IV are alive at the same time, which... should not be how it works since each Durin is supposedly a reincarnation of the original Durin. No idea how they're going to get around that.

I'm excited to see Khazad-dum and the dwarves at their greatest, here. I'm looking forward to seeing them collaborate with Celebrimbor and his fellow elves. I think the more glorious it is the more haunting LOTR Moria is going to feel, so that's going to be great to see it for ourselves.

The shots so far have things growing and light being able to come in to the mountain and I think that's going to be particularly interesting if they can talk about all the engineering going in to making it a livable city instead of just like. stone. So far I like how it looks, looking forward to more beautiful shots of that.

Aside from that... not many opinions on the dwarves since they were never at the forefront of my mind, sorry.

5. HOBB -- I MEAN, HARFOOTS

This is the part I'm easily most concerned about. I get wanting to have hobbit precursors to tie in to LOTR and the Hobbit for casual fans, and I don't think it's a terrible thing for them to be there -- they did exist as far back as the Elder Days, the thing is that they just... didn't do anything notable. At least, not anything that catches the attention of elves and humans.

So far they've taken up quite a bit of marketing time in the trailers and such, and I'm not sure how well that's going to reflect how much time they get in the show. It's also tricky because I have no idea how the harfoots' arc is going to end. They're not going to be participating in big battles, they're not going to be finding the Shire and settling down (this doesn't happen until well into the third age), they... might all die horribly, but I feel like they wouldn't do that to hobbits in a show that already is going to have a lot of horrible deaths.

I mean who knows they might have Galadriel hoist the little Hobbit on her shoulders after Sauron is defeated and say "this little one... is the bravest of us all" as everyone cheers but I don't think they're going to do that and I'd be disappointed if they did.

A lot of the arc of the Hobbits is going to be related to whatever is going on with this "Meteor Man" falling from the sky. Which is a good transition into the next topic...

6. WHERE IN THE WORLD IS SAURON?

Sauron's the ultimate bad guy here but we've had no indication of him so far. From what I've read online most Sauron Theorizing falls into about three characters, and I'll go through them one by one.

Meteor Man

Referring to the guy who was found in the Meteor by the Harfoots. This is the direction the show probably wants you to think, given the trailer the meteor flames made the shape of a pretty distinctive and familiar eye.

Meteor Man's whole deal is like. we don't know yet. Presumably he's amnesiac? Why is he part of a meteor? If it's Sauron I fail to see any reason why he would be a part of the meteor. It would fit his otherworldly "I was sent by the Valar" image but there's no way he'd want to talk to Hobbits, he'd land right by an elven encampment if he wanted to do this.

And that's kinda the problem I have with "meteor man is sauron" because Sauron really doesn't care about hobbits. If they left any sort of impression on him, it would kind of take away from his ultimate downfall. The only way I could see this working is Sauron for some reason makes a mistake with the meteor and loses his memories, regains them eventually, and then absolutely slaughters all the Harfoots, which again, seems like unnecessary bloodshed in a show that's already going to have a lot of necessary bloodshed.

Outside of Sauron, though, I have no idea who this guy is or what is role is going to be. It's a little area of concern for me. Some people are speculating he's one of the Istari, aka the wizards Gandalf was part of, but iirc they aren't supposed to be sent to Middle-Earth quite yet. I saw a theory or two that it's Tilion, aka The Man In The Moon, tying into some later Hobbit songs. It would be neat, but I don't think that's likely to happen.

I have the personal theory he's somehow Tom Bombadil. how he gets in the meteor is something I haven't figured out yet. but I think it'd be funny if there's an intense sequence of the little hobbit girl pulling this mysterious figure out of the wreckage of the meteor as the music swells and the flames die down. and then. "HEY DOL MERRY DOL TOM BOMBADILLO"

"how does this result in any sort of hobbit storyline" you tell me.

Halbrand

Halbrand is the Numenorean guy who ends up shipwrecked with Galadriel and then reportedly joins her on her adventures to search for Sauron, and then surprise... the REAL sauron was under her nose all along! uh oh!

Not a huge fan of this theory tbh. As far as I know this is just a random Numenorean and I have no idea why Sauron would disguise himself as a Numenorean when he should be going for, like, emissary of the Valar eventually. I guess he'd try to get close to Galadriel to kill her or something, but... idk it just isn't sitting right with me. Galadriel in canon was able to identify that Annatar was suspicious pretty quickly, so I guess this could be a "fool me once, fool me twice" situation, but if that were the case I see no reason why Sauron (following being identified by Galadriel once) would then try to trick her again in what's arguably an even more suspicious disguise.

I think it's more likely this guy is going to have ties to the Numenor arc, whether that's being a member of the Faithful thanks to his friendship with Galadriel or who knows ending up being duped by Sauron in the end and becoming a Nazgul, though I have no idea why Sauron would target him for being a Nazgul unless he like... is actually a lord or something.

Adar

This is something solely from leaks/rumors, that there's a character named "Adar" who is a corrupted elf leading the orcs. He's allegedly the villain of the first season before we get Sauron, so I think it'd be a little too obvious to then make him... Sauron. The only real motivation I can see is that he's going to be the evil guy and then walk out switch disguises and come out like "wow that guy was evil huh. What's up with that. Anyways I'm Annatar."

I don't know what's up with this guy and I'm honestly pretty worried about him. Alleged leaks/rumors claim that he's somehow Galadriel's brother who got corrupted, which is... messed up on a number of levels. Some theories are now speculating he's Maglor, which is also messed up on a number of levels but somehow funnier. I really, really hope he's just some OC and not a canon character or related to any canon characters.

So far all the villains/possible villains are worrying me at least a little bit. I think this is where they have the most room for error.

Sauron's Taking A Vacation

And he's not going to show up until later, in his Annatar disguise, kicking off the forging of the rings plotline. I honestly think this is the way they should go. Having Sauron run around before now as the only source of evil is kind of. lame? could lead to contradictory things in the show? people will speculate about where Sauron is and how evil he's being but when he shows up we all will Know. That's kind of the tragedy of it all in the second age. We all know who he is we all know what he's going to do, we just want it to be entertaining.

7. THE TOLKIEN FEELING

There are a few debates on whether this show "feels Tolkien" or not. But honestly I'm not sure if this is a fair debate to make. The overall feeling of LOTR and the Hobbit is very different from the overall vibe of the Silm and assorted second age stuff. LOTR is about the smallest people in the world making a difference. The Silm and most of the second age is "a lot of powerful people screwing up very badly leading to a lot of death". It's a lot more grim than LOTR. If the vibes weren't different, it'd be a massive contradiction of canon.

Besides, I think the show is trying to alleviate that somewhat with their original plotlines of the Harfoots and the elf-human romance. These tie in more to themes that exist in LOTR.

And also, we can't get a good read on the vibe of the show from trailers. I went to go watch some of the original Fellowship of the Ring movie trailers, and it generally feels like a generic action movie with some like, horror elements with how much they emphasize how evil the ring is. It doesn't feel like the final product which made me cry several times about how there's good in this world.

And in addition! It's very common for people to act like Peter Jackson was sent by the spirit of Tolkien himself to perfectly adapt LOTR, but that's very much not the case. The movies are quite different. Several characterizations and arcs were changed. (Off the top of my head: Aragorn. Elrond. Arwen. Merry and Pippin. Gimli. Faramir. Denethor. I'm sure there are more.) Christopher Tolkien, JRR Tolkien's son who did a ton of work putting together all of Tolkien's posthumous work, hated the LOTR movies and surely thought his father would too. Tolkien has probably been rolling in his grave for a long time now and I'm not going to pretend this show will change that.

But I can't really see much to suggest that it's going to be worse or less accurate to the themes than the Jackson movies were? They have a bit more room to play around with character arcs a bit as long as they end up in the places they need to be when they need to be, and they have lots of room with original characters to do whatever they need to do. It is pretty scary how badly this could possibly go, or it could go very well, and we won't know until the show actually comes out.

I just hope they give me enough Noldor content that it'll conveniently wipe my brain of any other errors. really living for them right now.

IN SUMMARY

I am excited for:

Noldor

First Age references/fallout of the First Age

Good Galadriel Arc (if they can pull it off)

Khazad-Dum at its height

Numenor at its height

I am concerned/hesitant about:

Romance :/

Time compression effects on just about everything

Harfoot plotline

What they're doing with Sauron

What they're doing with the Meteor Guy

What they're doing with the alleged corrupted elf

So overall a fairly mixed bag. I'll probably make more posts as more info comes out! So bear with me!

If you read all of this I'm shocked but thank you.

[diana-prince-s]

I will read literally ANYTHING u write

hi I'm using this to continue the camgirl nali au, they're finally going to meet!

---

Rosé never should have RSVP'd to the company Christmas party.

Sure, it's a great opportunity to network within the magazine and see some of her coworkers outside of the office -- but these kinds of events just give her anxiety. She may look stunning in her overpriced black cocktail dress that shows much of her cleavage and with her blonde hair perfectly coiffed and styled. She may even be happy to partake in the delicious hors d'oeuvres that are carried out by the wait staff at various intervals. But she still has this sinking feeling of being out of place and alone.

She should have brought Jan or Lagoona as her plus-one instead of sending the RSVP message back with a sad little lonely empty space on the line for add-ons.

Ted from finance scoops her up near the bar while she's ordering her third virgin Red Bull and proceeds to talk to her about year-end sales and the Q-4 numbers, probably all stuff that he could get fired for sharing. Rosé nods along and lets him talk, and in the meantime she contemplates if it's too late to get one of her friends to the party to keep her company. She's counting down the minutes until it's socially-acceptable to leave the conversation when her phone buzzes -- perfect, she can play it off as an emergency.

"Excuse me," she says, and she turns around so she can check it in a semblance of privacy, and when she sees the notification she's glad that she does.

It's Icy Spicy Princess. She's posted a new update to her OnlyFans, and from what little Rosé lets herself look at (she's still in public, of course), the woman is riding reverse-cowgirl on a man with a ball gag in her mouth and cuffs around her wrists. Rosé marvels at the sheer core strength Icy Spicy Princess must be using to be bound and still ride like that. Then the sounds of the party come back to her ears -- the deafening small-talk and din of glasses clinking together and forks scraping over plates, and the band switching to their next cover of a Christmas song -- and she closes her phone quickly.

This isn't the time or the place.

As soon as Rosé tucks her phone back into her purse, she feels a tap on her shoulder. She turns around, deep breath already in her throat, steeling herself for another boring conversation with Ted, but her eyes catch warm and sharp eyes belonging to Chamilla, and she smiles politely.

"Glad to see you here, Rosé," Chamilla says. Her hand is laced with a man's, and she tugs him closer. "This is my husband, Manny. And our daughter, Denali..."

Chamilla steps to the side, a little away from the bar, and over her shoulder Rosé can see her daughter taking a glass of champagne from the bartender. She turns towards them, and Rosé's heart stops.

It's all she can do to keep her mouth closed, and she isn't even sure she succeeds at that when the Icy Spicy Princess, there in the flesh, looks at her like she's grown a second head.

She looks as beautiful as ever, more radiant in person, and sexy even fully clothed. Though Rosé can't in good conscience admit that Denali is fully clothed -- her black silk slip gown dips low on her chest, barely held up by thin straps over her shoulders, and the sides of the gown are cut high enough that Rosé gets a good look at her thighs -- those thighs that she just saw riding...

"Nice to, uh, see-- meet you," Rosé says, her voice several octaves too high. She swallows and tears her eyes away from Icy Spicy -- Denali, Denali Foxx, her boss's daughter -- to look at Chamilla again. "You have a lovely family, Ms. Foxx."

Chamilla smiles politely and tips her head. "I was just telling Manny and Denali how quickly you've made a name for yourself here. It isn't often new hires pick up..."

Rosé can't hear much over the sound of her own breathing in her ears. She keeps her eyes on Chamilla's lips moving, otherwise she won't be able to control the blush on her cheeks and the way the room is starting to spin.

This can't be happening. Her first foray into the world of live, online pornography and the object of her desires is her boss's daughter? It's a cruel trick the Universe is playing on her, testing her self-control and punishing her for her lust. And if she gets found out-- she'll never be able to show her face at the magazine again. Hell, she'll get fired, and then she'll be back to doing what she was doing before she got this job, singing at nightclubs with barely more than a dime to her name. Then how will she pay for the Only Fans subscription...

"You know what?" Rosé says suddenly, cutting off whatever praises of hers Chamilla was singing. "I'm so sorry, but I just got a text about an emergency, a-- fire, at my friend's... library, and I've gotta--"

She points over her shoulder pathetically but doesn't wait around long enough to see her boss's incredulous reaction.

Rosé moves quickly through the crowd, dodging waiters and her coworkers alike. The restrooms are at the edge of the large ballroom behind a heavy door that she yanks open with a sudden force of urgency. Thankfully, the powder room in the ladies' restroom is empty, so she collapses against the vanity and pulls her phone out of her purse.

Rosé: SOS situation that the Christmas party

The text in the Steph's Child group chat can't send fast enough. Her friends are always on their phones, though, so she gets a quick reply.

Jan: What's wrong, doll? Need rescuing?

Lagoona: Who do we need to fight?

It's an embarrassing situation, and not one that Rosé ever imagined telling her friends. They know everything about her, but Icy Spicy Princess was just going to be her secret so she could stew in her shame all alone. But this -- it's too much for her to handle on her own. So she starts typing.

It's a long block of text, and she's halfway through when the restroom door opens. Rosé ignores it, too deep into her embarrassing recount of blowing hundreds of dollars on porn websites for just one woman who happens to be her boss's daughter! But the person stops just next to her and Rosé, curious and ashamed and anxious all at once, glances over at her. Her phone tumbles out of her hands.

Denali raises a manicured eyebrow at her. "My mom told me that you were going to talk to me about jobs or whatever," she says, "so I'm here to talk."

Rosé bites the inside of her cheek and keeps quiet.

Denali sighs. "Look, I don't know what your problem is-- maybe you hate my mom or you're just a mean girl or whatever, but I promised her, so--"

God, to know that the Icy Spicy Princess is just as bratty in real life--

"Well, like I said, I'm kinda busy..."

Rosé points to her phone where it's face-down on the vanity, and she regrets it instantly because Denali reaches for it, probably to be nice and hand it to her, but in the fall from her hands Rosé somehow managed to leave her text messages and switch over to the only other app that's open -- OnlyFans, where the video of the woman standing in front of her riding a dick and moaning obscenely around a ball gag starts playing, sound on.

Denali stares at the phone in her hand for a moment. Rosé stares at it, too, and then snatches it away from Denali, locking it so the sounds disappear. When she looks back up, Denali is staring at her, her eyes and features gone cold and harsh.

"The fuck..." Denali crosses her arms over her chest. "You're a fucking subscriber?"

Rosé throws her hands up in defense. "Hey, I didn't know, okay? I didn't know that you were Chamilla's daughter, I didn't even know your name. I just came across your Twitter the other week and I-- I liked what I saw--"

Rosé's eyes go wide when she hears the words that are coming out of her mouth right now. She looks down in a feeble attempt to hide her blush.

"You won't tell my mom, will you?" Denali asks, and Rosé hears the genuine fear in her voice behind the chilly exterior.

Rosé shakes her head, still unable to look Denali in the eye. "No, I don't think that would go well for either of us."

It's silent for a few moments. Rosé is becoming well-acquainted with the pretty, strappy red shoes Denali is wearing -- totally impractical for the weather, but Rosé thinks trivial things like that won't get in the way of Denali looking like the most beautiful woman in the room from head-to-toe--

"What's your name?"

Rosé looks up at Denali from beneath her lashes. "Rosé?"

Denali rolls her eyes. "I mean your screen name, idiot."

"Oh." Rosé bites the inside of her cheek to keep her blush from deepening. "Uh, pinkchardonnay."

Saying that name out loud, in this public space, feels wrong, especially when she knows Denali has moaned it during an orgasm.

Denali, surprisingly, shows a little smile. "I remember you from the last stream." She regards Rosé for a minute, and Rosé feels seen in a way that she isn't sure she's ready for. "I don't usually have a face to match the name, but--" She shrugs a little nonchalantly, a little dismissively. "--can't say I'm disappointed."

It's not necessarily a compliment, but it isn't not a compliment. Rosé doesn't have time to decide what it means or how she should respond, if she should respond, because Denali is already out the door and into the party again.

Rosé slumps against the vanity. It feels like air has finally been let back into the room, and she practically gulps it into her lungs. So she's met the Icy Spicy Princess, something she's been dreaming about but has now become somewhat of a nightmare.

There's no way Chamilla can figure it out, though. As long as she keeps her notifications turned off, wipes her browser history, and never sees Denali in person again...

Her phone rings. It's Jan. Rosé answers it carefully.

"Hey, girl, I'm here with Goons. You didn't answer, are you okay?"

Rosé bites her lip. "Jan, I think I really fucked up this time..."

[living-in-the-darkness]

Date Started: 06/15/20

Date Finished: 6/17/20

Pairing: Henry Cavill x Reader x Sebastian

A/N: this is my first writing of smut. It may not be too good but I've not seen many Henry Cavill and Sebastian Stan x Reader smuts. Also if I stole your gif please inform me.

Word Count: 3740

Summary: You are best friends with Henry and Sebastian. You are a famous actor that is acting in a movie with both where there is a threesome sex scene. After the premiere, Henry and Sebastian decide they want the real thing.

"You, Avyanna, are a beautiful woman. Don't you think so, Rand?" Henry says as his character, Logan. His voice was deep and sultry, his pupils blown wide, only a bit of blue showing.

"Very much so,” Sebastian says as his own character, Rand. His voice a bit less deep than Henry's but still in a lower octave. His bluish grey eyes showed the same desire as Henry's, full of want.

Sebastian and Henry have been your friends for a very long time, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't want this moment to be real. Though, as much as you wanted it, you valued their friendship too much and refused to ruin it based solely on wanting their cocks buried inside your holes. Every chance, every joking suggestion, anything they’ve ever said that alluded to them wanting you just as mush as you wanted them- you remembered it. Their words and actions flow through your train of thought making you forget what you’re doing.

When you came back to yourself in the scene, Henry was kissing your chest while Sebastian was working on getting your dress off. You were letting out little whines, wanting them to do more to you. Once your dress was off, Henry started to kiss more of your breast, biting down gently on the soft flesh.

Sebastian managed to tear your bra off. He didn’t know if that was his own strength or if it was because his character was supposed to be strong and full of desire, but regardless, he managed to do it. With the bra out of the way Henry moved his head to start sucking on your nipple, swirling his tongue around the bud, making you moan loudly.

You stood in between them, silently begging for them to touch you. There was no answer to your pleas. Instead, they continued to stand there, talking about how beautiful you looked in your maroon gala dress.

After Henry deemed your nipples abused enough by his mouth he picked you up and carried you to the couch. He laid you down and moved to get his shirt off. Sebastian already stood their naked, although the crew had him put something over his cock to make it invisible to the audience. Henry had the same thing because well, Hollywood.

Sebastian looked at you both as he walked over and kissed you roughly. Henry continued to undress as he watched the two of you, immensely enjoying the view.

Once Henry's clothes were fully off he tapped Sebastian's shoulder to tell him to move. Sebastian kisses down your chest and to your ankle missing your mound. He kisses up to your thigh and runs his fingers through your folds before moving his head between your thighs and flicking your clit with his tongue.

Henry kissed you deeply, swallowing your moans as one of your hands went to Henry's hair and the other went to Sebastian's and tugs on it wanting him to continue. You let go of his hair when he tapped your thigh.

You got up from the couch for Henry to sit down. You make it look like your taking his cock in your ass and Sebastian makes it look like he's putting his cock in your pussy. They both make it look like they're waiting for you to be used to them. After a good few minutes they start to thrust as Sebastian thrusts in, Henry pulls out and vise versa. It goes like this for a long while before you scream out in pleasure and cum hard. And it wasn't no Hollywood fake moaning shit, no you actually came. Henry and Sebastian held back their shocked expressions and faked their orgasms.

After the director called cut you ran off to your dressing room, quickly. You sat in your dressing room, bawling your eyes out thinking you had just ruined your friendship. All sorts of horrible thoughts went through your head.

Henry and Sebastian, however, sat there shocked that you had just came on camera. They look at each other before getting up and grabbing their clothes putting them on. "That was fucking hot." They mumbled to themselves as they walked away and went to their rooms.

------------------------------------------------

As you guys continued to film the movie, you avoided them like they were the plague. Every time they were near you off set, you moved to go stand next to another co-star. It was clear in their eyes that they were hurt but they couldn't say anything; of course, they couldn't, they were scared you would tell them you didn't want to be friends anymore.

------------------------------------------------

Finally, on the last day of filming, you talked to them.

"Henry, Sebastian." You addressed them

Henry looked at you, surprised that you were finally talking to him. "Y/n..." He trailed off wanting to ask what happened but he couldn't. He was scared it'd make you run off.

"What happened?" Sebastian asked bluntly, a bit annoyed that it took you so long and fusterated because he didn't know why. "Why'd you stop talking to us and started to avoid us like the plague?"

"You two should know damn well why." You said in a cocky tone.

"Because you fucking came on screen? Because you came while we were fucking you in a scene? So fucking what? That doesn't mean it changes anything." Sebastian kept his voice at a normal volume for him. He didn't want to make you run off if he yelled or raised his voice.

"Yes! Because I shouldn't have! I should've faked it like you two did." You mumbled the last part

"Hm, I've gotten used to sex scenes." Henry says and shrugs. It was true but he was also trying to make you feel better.

"Same here. I've gotten used to doing them. Plus when your just ramming your cock against some you kinda get turned off. I mean, it's just ramming your cock against someone." Sebastian says with a shrug

"Well... I.. I've never acted in one like that..." You say softly

"Niether have we but, like we said, we've gotten used to sex scenes." Henry says and looks at you.

Henry moves to wrap his arms around you. Sebastian does the same and kisses your forehead in a friendly way.

"there was no reason to avoid us for cumming on camera. Especially with us." Sebastian says and holds you close wrapping an arm around Henry.

"We should get going, the sets gonna close down then we gotta go to our houses and get ready for premieres." Henry speaks up after a good five minutes of cuddling up to each other. Henry is the first to let go then Sebastian then you.

After looking at each other for a good minute, you all went your seperate ways.

-------------------------------------------------

After about two months, the premiere finally happened. You wore a beautiful purple dress that showed off your breasts and your legs with gold heals. Your stylist picked the color because it went perfect with Henry and Sebastian's dark grey suits. You liked the dress but the long slit was starting to get a bit annoying as sometimes it would move in the wrong way and showed off your black lacy panties.

You took pictures with the two men and a lot of interviewers were asking about the sex scene and how good it would be. Henry and Sebastian did their best to not answer the questions but if they had to, they kept it extremely vague. The answer they gave the most was "you'll have to watch the movie." You mainly ignored the questions and moved on to the next interviewer if the previous one pressed.

 After all the interviews were done, you guys decided to do a bit of photos with fans and signed some things for fans. After finishing with that, you guys rushed to the movie theater and went to the seats.

 All up until the sex scene you three enjoyed the movie immensely and complimented each other on how good the acting was. Then came the sex scene, you three were silent and just watched it. You couldn’t see it since it was so dark but your best friends’ pants were tented. Henry was shifting in his seat trying to get it to go down but as the sex scene went on, it just got worse. Sebastian was having the same problem, but he didn’t bother with it trying to just let it go down on its own. It wasn’t until it came to the moment when you came hard and with a scream that they both just say, “fuck it” and put their hands on your thighs. You looked at them quickly with desire and shock. You decided not to say anything until their hands went higher. You grabbed their hands and looked at them, “What are you doing?” you ask a bit louder than you meant to which made people “shh” you.

 “Isn’t this what you wanted?” Henry whispers in your ear and you can hear the smirk in his voice.

“For us to touch you. For us to fuck you like the movie.” Sebastian whispers and kisses your neck making a hickey on it.

 You blushed red like a tomato and looked at them. “Yes but… I didn’t think you guys wanted that…”

 “Oh, I’ve always wanted you but seeing you cum like that, for us, I finally see that I really do.” Henry says and kisses your neck making a few marks on it before turning to watch the rest of the movie fingering you.

Sebastian ignored the movie and sucked on your neck rubbing your clit and using his other hand to massage your breast in his hand.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------

 You all arrived in a limousine so you didn’t have to worry about who would get to your house first. Once you were all sat in the limo and it was driving off, Henry was fingering you with those thick fingers and Sebastian was rubbing your clit while you palmed them through their pants and went back and forth between kissing them deeply and kissing their necks leaving your own marks. All the way to your home, they didn’t take their hands off of you.

 Henry started to suck on your nipples just like the movie, he nibbled on the soft flesh of your breast, and he continued to finger you. Sebastian made hickeys on your neck as he continued to rub your clit letting Henry have most of you for now. You knew by the end of the night you would be filled with hickeys and you didn’t mind one bit.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

  Once you guys arrived at your house, you all rushed out of the limo thanking the driver before rushing to the door. You unlocked the door and near body checked it open as it wouldn’t budge at first. Henry was the first to walk in, then Sebastian, then you. The second the door was shut, Henry had you pinned to it and kissing you roughly as you locked the door. Sebastian was getting his jacket and shirt off not daring to waste anymore time. Henry pulled away when you both desperately needed air and Sebastian got to his knees in front of you kissing the soft flesh of your thighs. He pulls you up so your legs are on his shoulders as he licks a stripe from your pussy to your clit and sucks on your clit. He moves to lick your hole and slides his tongue in devouring you like a man who hasn’t eaten in days.

 Henry got his suit off down to his boxers before he walks over to you both and starts to massage your breasts in his hands. He starts to suck on the sweet skin of your breast and makes some hickeys on them.

Soon you cried out their names, arched your back, and came for the first time that night and it sure wouldn’t be the last.

 They both moved away from your body and stood up. Sebastian moving your legs from his shoulders to around his waist and carrying you up to your room. He placed you down on the bed and smirked at you, admiring the view. Henry admired the view from afar as he shut the door. He knew no one was going to come into your house but he felt more comfortable that way and you wouldn’t dare comment on it.

 Once they were both on the bed, their hands were all over you.

Sebastian ran his hands over the outside of your thighs as he kisses your neck while Henry kissed you roughly and massaged your sides gently wanting to give your breasts a quick break. Sebastian moved his hands from the outside of your thighs to the inside and slowly moved them higher pushing two fingers into you slowly making sure you could take it. He made sure to open you wide enough that you could take either of their cocks. Henry had you flip over, and he started to run his hands over your ass. He smacked it a few times and another few times after you let out delicious moans.

Henry moved to look you in the eyes “how do you feel about anal?” He asks bluntly not wanting to beat around the bush.

“I’ve never done it but it’s something I’m open to.” You admit and look him in the eyes to let him know you are serious.

Henry nods and gives you two of his fingers to suck on before moving the newly wet fingers to your hole and starts to push one finger in. He slowly moves it making sure to watch your face for any signs of wanting to stop or long bouts of pain. Once he deems you’ve gotten used to it he pushed his next finger in and slowly moves them, again watching your face. He kissed you roughly and started to move his fingers a bit faster swallowing your moans. Once he deems you open enough to take either of their cocks, he pulls them out.

Henry and Sebastian look at each other for a moment before moving to claim their holes. Sebastian claimed your pussy and Henry claimed your ass. They knew they’d have you go again if you were up for it and would switch holes then.

You moved from your spot on the bed and let Henry lay down. You moved and slowly took his cock into your ass. Sebastian moves and slowly enters your pussy. They both wait for you to be ready before they start to thrust. As Sebastian moves out, Henry moves in and vise versa. They alternate between kissing you, devouring your sweet screams and moans, and kissing your neck marking you more. You had a feeling they wouldn’t stop until you were fully covered in them and you were right because once they ran out of room on your neck, they moved to your shoulders. You knew you were getting close after a while as you started to clench around their cocks screaming out their names and arching your back into Sebastian. You held onto Henry’s hand and Sebastian’s shoulder as they whispered sweet nothings into your ear. You cried out their names and came hard, your thighs twitching with the aftershocks. After a bit came Henry then came Sebastian who whispered something about breeding you.

“I’m going to fill you up with my cum and watch you grow with my babies.” He growls right before he came with a loud groan of pleasure.

Henry and Sebastian continued to thrust a little bit more after that to help you ride it out. Once you were settled they switched holes and Henry started fucking you so hard and fast, Sebastian actually had to tell him to slow down and give him a chance. Once they got back into their old rhythm they both picked up the pace allowing you no time to get used to them. Henry was a bit bigger than Sebastian, but it just added a little more pleasure as he filled you up so full it was actually visible in your lower abdomen. You cried and screamed out their names as they allowed you no mercy as they thrusted in and out of your precious holes.

Soon enough you came again and actually blacked out, they got worried for a second before realizing what it was and calmed down, finishing inside your holes. Sebastian pulled out first and looked around your room for anything that was like a plug. Once he found an actual plug he walked back over. Henry pulled out and Sebastian pushed the plug in gently. He smirked knowing you could possibly get pregnant with one, if not both, of their children.

Once they were done admiring your body, Henry went to the bathroom and grabbed rag wetting it before bringing it over and cleaning you up. He found your underwear draw and put some panties on you. He went downstairs after to grab his and Sebastian’s suits as well as some water and snacks for when you wake up.

Sebastian held you close and kissed your forehead whispering sweet words to you. Once Henry was back, Sebastian grabbed his shirt and put it on you then Henry grabbed his blazer and put it on you. Henry put the water and snacks on the side table before looking at you fully and pulling the blanket over you.

“I’m staying, are you?” Sebastian whispers to Henry and looks at him.

Henry looks at Sebastian like Sebastian has just asked the stupidest question in the world, which he did. “Of course, if she wants us gone in the morning then we’ll leave but until then I’m staying,” Henry answered.

Sebastian and Henry nod to each other as they lay on either side of you and wrap an arm around you. They cuddle up to you and each other and talk for a good half hour before finally starting to drift off to sleep. As they were entering the last moment between slumber and awake, they hear you whisper “I love you..” and then all of you go to sleep.

-----------------------------------------------------

When you wake up in the morning, Henry was downstairs making breakfast while Sebastian was still sleeping next to you. Henry finished the breakfast a good half hour later and after you took a bath. He walks up the stairs, tray in hand bringing you breakfast in bed. You sat there looking up at him as you were dressed in his shirt as well as a matching set of underwear, you weren’t really cold but you didn’t want to leave Sebastian out so you put on his blazer. You smiled seeing the tray and sat up more for it. Henry placed it on your lap before going downstairs and grabbing two more plates. At this point Sebastian was already awake and had been taking tiny bites of your food. Sebastian takes his plate when Henry hands it to him and you all start eating together.

After you all finish, they look at you and smile. Henry was the first to speak up.

“Good morning beautiful.”

“Good morning, handsome. Good morning, hottie.” You said to Henry and Sebastian respectfully.

Sebastian smiled at you and Henry, close-mouthed, in response having a mouth full of food.

Henry looks at Sebastian with a smirk “Shall I tell her what we discussed yesterday?” Sebastian just gives him a nod in response, and you have a look of confusion and worry.

Henry chuckles, “Don’t worry, it’s not bad. In fact, I think you might even like what we discussed.”

You look at him, same look of confusion but much less worried. “Okay… well, what’d you discuss?”

“We want to do that again some time.” Sebastian pipes up, finally, taking a break from his food to talk.

You were taking a sip of apple juice as you heard Sebastian say that and spit it out all over Henry’s chest making the two men laugh. Their laughs always made you smile so instead of focusing on being embarrassed you focused on that.

“Well, that’s not what I was expecting.” Henry says, honestly, through laughs.

“S-Sorry, just shocked. Was expecting you to say that you didn’t like it.” You looked down at your food which you stopped eating when Henry asked if Sebastian wanted him to share what they discussed.

Both men’s faces went dead serious, they looked at you with confusion and surprise.

“Not like it? Baby, we fucking loved it.” Henry says and Sebastian nods. One of each of their hands went to your face cupping it. “You are the most beautiful, amazing, and crazy women we have ever met,”

“And we fucking love it.” Sebastian finishes Henry’s sentence to which Henry just nods.

“Did you mean what you said when you were falling back to sleep?” Henry asks looking you in the eyes.

You tilted your head; you clearly didn’t remember what you said. “Don’t remember so I can’t say.”

“You said ‘I love you’” Sebastian reminded and looked you in the eyes

“Yes, I did.” You nod and look back down at your food “But-“

“I love you too.” Henry and Sebastian say at the same time.

“I’m sorry it took so long to realize it but I do, I truly do. You make me feel like no other woman can. I feel loved, adored, and honestly, I love that you’re able to come to movie sets and auditions and stuff when you’re not working on your own.” Sebastian says with a big smile

“And I love that you’re able to watch me at the races and challenges. And come along for rides. Kal loves you too.” Henry admits with his own big smile.

“So the only question that stands is, who do you choose?” Sebastian asks thinking you only want one. The question makes you roar with laughter and they both look at you confused.

“Choose? Oh no, honey, I pick both.” You say with a straight face before you start to laugh again.

Henry and Sebastian look at each other, shrug, then give you one word to end all your wishful pining that you used to do. “Okay.”

[sebs-anxiety-and-insanity]

You're human?!

Zombie apocalypse au

I have a request in one of the comments and to that person I respond: your request is being done as fast as possible, I had it done but then I reread it and realized it was crap so I am rewriting it again :] the outfit above is Virgil's current outfit he is not genderbent it's just one of my favorites also this is a long one so yeah

Entry number 604:

I don't consistently write unless something big has happened. That said, I have realized something big. I haven't seen another human in roughly three years. THREE. All that remains is undead. This isn't even meant for humans anymore... Haha maybe I'm just starting to lose it... The isolation is getting to me...

Rotten, molded flesh was everywhere around him. He had forgotten the turn again! Ugh, how could he be so stupid!? He  could hear their staggering footsteps closing in, hear their groaning get louder and immersed Virgil in the pain soaked groans coming from behind. It's bizzare to think that they could be in pain while they're chasing you. Well, not really chasing you, but, eh- you get the point. Virgil looked around the alleyway (classic, right?) Looking for a place for him to escape. He looked to his left. Brick. He turned his head to the right. Stone. In front was a back of an apartment building, he could try his luck climbing? Yeah, that might work.

Virgil didn't realize how much time he actually spent thinking of a way to escape the group of Z's behind him until he heard a call from someone- a walker? No. Maybe some disembodied voice- "You're gonna let them eat you?" Virgil looked around to see a disgusting hand reach for him, and succeeding in grabbing his backpack, tugging him backwards. He could hear the voice in the back of his head? Maybe? "Shame." After his fight or flight kicked in he quickly pulled forward, making his way to the building, hearing the sound of something hitting the ground he assumed to be a Z. He quickly reached down pulling the knife he had in his boot out and started to climb the building. He got on the dumpster, struggling to stay up right with the dumpster moving beneath him. He reached up for the window sill, pulling himself up with the help of a push. The push off of the dumpster caused it to roll backwards and to the side hitting a wall. "Shit." He looks up to find the next place to grab. Taking a deep breath Virgil reached for the next window sill using a near by air conditioner as a step stool of sorts. A few seconds after his foot put it's weight on it he heard a creak. Uh oh. The air conditioner quickly fell out of the window, crushing a Z at the bottom and almost sending Virgil down with it. He managed to keep a semi good hold on the window. Virgil closed his eyes resting his forehead on the building. "C'mon, c'mon.. Whew okay Virgil you got this." He whispered before continuing his journey up.

At the second window from the roof Virgil decided to rest a moment, taking advantage of the open window. He took deep breathes, trying his best to hold on as he was reluctantly losing his grip. As he caught his breath Virgil felt chills run down his spine as he heard the most inhumane groan. He looked up, scared at what he might find. There stood a HUGE Z. No this one goes into walker. More dangerous than a Z (they are all zombies just he names them in categories-)when stuck in place. It began to walk toward him dragging his leg behind him. Virgils breath hitched. He was screwed didn't have enough time to climb past the window without the walker getting his legs, but he also couldn't get a weapon to defend himself with. He could try climbing in and then grab a weapon but that didn't seem like he could win that. No,, his best bet was to keep climbing. He grabbed the next window sill, the cuts and scrapes from the brick building he was on, burning his hand. Clenching his his eyes shut he continued to go for the roof. "Open your eyes!" A different disembodied voice said it this time. Virgil obliged and looked up to see a man. Wait, a man? As in, HUman?! "C'mon kiddo grab my hand!" Virgil stared at the out reached hand. Is he even real? Or is this man a figment of his imagination? Something made for his spiralling mind. He felt a finger glide against his boot. He wouldn't have long if he just stared. Real or not he'd rather take a chance with the guy. Virgil quickly stopped staring and grabbed the hand. The stranger Began to pull him up, and Virgil let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding, until the walker grabbed his boot. Shitshitshit nonono. Gasping Virgil began to try and pull himself up more with the help of the man of course. "A little help Rem?" The man struggled to get out between grunts, obviously using all his strength to get Virgil up on the roof. "Ugh, fine!" The first disembodied voice spoke- did he say 'Rem'? Virgil was felt himself be pulled up a bit but the walker wasn't giving up and wouldnt let go. Virgil went wide eyed upon feeling the breath of the walker. "NO!" Virgil began kicking in spastic movements, kicking and flailing harder then before. Was this how he died? Delusional and alone?

One kick seemed to land or something cause Virgil felt himself being lifted with ease and sat down on the roof. "I have saved the damsel in distress again!" Virgil didn't realize he'd closed his eyes, but when he opened them he was pleasantly surprised. Three people stood before him. REAL PEOPLE! In a moment of  euphoria, and a lot of mixed feelings Virgil

Lept onto the closet person to him, clutching onto him tightly, muttering things the taller male couldn't hear. "Sweetie? Are-are you okay?" Rem, as the other male called him lightly touched Virgil's back, tapping him in a questioning manner. Virgil's heart fluttered at the nickname, and his skin buzzed and hued at the touch. Virgil coming to his senses sat up Apologizing, of course not fully to his senses as he continued to straddle Rem. "Apologies- it's just.." Virgil looks down at Rem, staring into his eyes for what felt like forever (five seconds) and then looked over to the other two, who looked as if they didn't know what to do about the situation, before looking back at Rem. "You're human?" Virgil leaned forward a tiny bit,, his hands holding him up on Rem's chest. Rem chuckled and Virgil could just explode in happiness by just feeling the vibrations of coming from his chest. Rem was real. That's all he knew. Rem wasn't from some twisted part of his head making him believe he wasn't alone. "I-i Mean- like, you're real?" Virgil looked away blushing, "As real as that pretty little face of yours sweetheart." Virgil was sure he was a tomato by now and- wait. Is he..? OHMYGODIMSTRADDLINGAREALLYHOTGUY.  Virgil quickly got up, looking over at the two strangers. "Aww." The one with glasses and curly blonde hair said. The other looked as if he would be the definition of perfection if he were a prince.

Hell most of the people here could be on most sexy guy alive or whatever that magazine was. "I'm Patton, and this is Roman!" The man-Patton enthusiasticly pointed at the main with red tipped hair. "He's super strong." Patton whispered. "And that's Remy!" Patton pointed to the hot guy getting up from the ground. "And you are?" Patton displayed a puppy face that could get someone out of death row after there wasn't a response. Virgil contemplated telling them his name, after all Virgil isn't a very good name.. "Well, sheesh! You look like my anxiety and depression demon from like 8th grade." Virgil shrunk in on himself at the remark from Roman. "Roman that's enough." Remy spoke up as he stood beside Virgil. "What? I mean this.. Look" He gestured at Virgil. "Looks to be a lot of effort! Does he try to make himself look like this in the APOCALYPSE-" Before he could stop himself Virgil hissed at Roman. Virgil slapped his hands across his mouth, shocked that he did that to a stranger. Virgil carefully looked back up to see Roman in shock, Patton whispering things like "woahhhhhhh my new son". Virgil didn't wanna look at Remy's reaction though, afraid of the look he might be given. If there is one thing to know, even when seperated from the rest of humanity, it to know that Remy gave off a different vibe then the rest. Roman gave off a 'more bark then his bite' (although he definitely could put you down) Patton  a dad vibe. And Remy the bad bitch of the apocalypse vibe, one that could end you with words. Or even just a glare. "Fuck you princey." Virgil crossed his arms. Roman looked to be glowing and Patton covered his ears. "Why thank you anxiety." Virgil glared at him. But decided not to tell his name. At least, not to Roman. "I'm good enough for Royalty! Even in the end of the world." Remy sighed. "So, what now?" He looked over to Patton, dusting his leather jacket. "Hmm, I suppose we take him with us! Maybe Lo will lemme keep him." He didn't like being compared to a pet or a piece of property but when these are the first human contact you can let it go... Once.

Okay, when hearing he might get to go to a camp with other humans- people, he didn't expect to be carried, but, Remy insisted, saying something about Patton not wanting precious cargo damaged. Virgil let himself doze on Remys back listening to the light conversation taking place between Patton and Roman. The breeze hitting Virgil was delightful and helped lure him closer to sleep. Virgil remained on that edge of sleep to where you're asleep, but you knew you were asleep and was partially awake. (Make sense? Idk it happens me-) he heard the conversation take more serious tone, "So.... Now that anxiety is asleep, what are we gonna do with him? I mean we don't know for sure if he is safe. Maybe he has been bitten.. You know somewhere hidden by those clothes." He heard a sigh presumably from Patton, "I'm sure he would've shown symptoms by now. Besides, he's adorable, right, Remy?" "He is definitely adorable-" "See!? Let's just wait and see what Logan says." Virgil tightened his grip on Remy and finally drifted off fully to sleep.

Remy nudged Virgil's head with his own, effectively waking Virgil up. "Huh? Smguhthmbi.." Remy chuckled, "before turning the corner into an abandoned looking apartment. "We're back, bitches!" A man dressed in a duster and jeans with a tie wrapped around a jar that hung from his belt, looked over at the two, eyes narrowing at Virgil, making him very aware of his position. Virgil immediately got out of Remys hold, Remy taking his arms away from Virgil so he didn't trip him. "Out, everyone, please." The man took off his glasses gesturing in his and Remys general direction. "Not you two." Virgil felt a lump in his throat, anxiety creep up his spine. Ah, how he missed this. He didn't. This was actually the only thing he didn't miss about humanity. "Now, tell me," The door shut with a soft click as everyone else had left. Leaving behind all types of supplies filling up the kitchen and various other rooms. "Why are you here?" The man walked in front of the table he was behind, leaning on it as he crossed his arms. Virgil was starting to feel panic as he didn't actually know  why he was here. "We saw him in an alley way, cornered by Zombos." Remy lifted his sun glasses letting them rest on his head. Moving over to the old kitchen counter. "He climbed up the side of a building and we just kinda keep him-" "I do not believe I was talking to you." Virgil flinched at the amount of venom oozing from  his words. "Can he even help us in some way? We have enough people to house! If he cannot pull his own weight then he can leave. Of course he would have to prove himself, he does seem weak. Having to have been carried seems strange.." His eyes squing through the glasses placed on his nose. "I-" "Has he been bitten?" Virgil had to swallow irritation from being cut off and the amount of questions coming from this stranger. To be frank, he was actually missing being alone and isolated already. "N-" "I wasn't talking to you." The man shot back, okay, now Virgil was getting really irritated. "Any sane person knows that one would lie to save their own skin. I mean, you had to be running from something to have carried that much stuff." The man gestured to his things. "Jesus, calm down! He hasn't been bit!" The man raised his brow, as if begging the question 'and you know this how?' Remy rolled his eyes. "Bitch, he would've shown symptoms by now, Einstein! Sweating, really fucking hungry, etc. Fucking hell! Leave it to Logan to make things overly dramatic." "I am merely being protective." He seethed. The man who Remy called Logan, pinched his nose sighing. "Fine! We can keep him-" "Can everyone stop fucking saying that!?" Remy and Logan stared at him in suprise. "I'm not some fucking THING you can keep! I was doing just fine without this place- yes this means, I. Don't. Need. You. Damnit I'm not something you can claim as property and I sure as HELL ain't no fucking-" Virgil threw his hands up in the air before taking a breath. "No, I don't need to prove myself to you and I won't. You don't want me here then I'll go." Virgil began to turn around to leave. "I'll gladly take another three years without people." He muttered. "Hey, I saved you." Remy reminded. "You are my responsibility and if I say you stay you stay." Remy took a step forward. "... I owe you and the other two but I don't owe him." Virgil stopped moving and stared between Logan and Remy. "He is staying with me Logan. And really how much pain can he cause I mean we have Remus." Logan paused thinking a moment. "*sigh* fine. I'll get him an outfit. But he is pulling his weight around here." "Alright!" Remy turned and started to guide Virgil towards the door. "Feels nice to have two bad bitches here." Remy smirked at Virgil as the walked. His hand floating around the small of Virgil's back as he showed him the place. Maybe having found a group of survivors wasn't so bad after all.

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Woah that's a long one 😅

Anyways I'll work on a part 2 soon

Hope you enjoyed💜

Not proof read

Tag list {you can ask to be added or removed}:

@reiney-weather @helloidkwhatimdoing-0 @love-lemons @emo-sunshine42 @autumnpleaves @hedgiehoggles @radicalskatervirgil

[beeblackburn]

Book asks (sorry if these were asked before): 8, 9, 25, 27, 28 and 30.

Thank you, @books-and-doodles! You're in luck, though, I've been asked questions on this book ask before, but not those ones!

cracks knuckles

8. Do you prefer to read first person or third person?

First-person, despite most of my formative influences being multi-POV third-person narratives (hadn't fully sunk into Hobb until after my teenage years), fantasy-wise. Fitz's POV in Realm of the Elderlings was so rich, so rife with unreliableness and idiosyncratic melancholy and sorrow and depression, that any chance of preferring third-person over that was gone.

Hell, I even wrote a bunch of short stories in first-person in my university couses and they kept getting me pretty consistent >80% marks. I used to want to be a third-person epic fantasy writer until I realized I grew downright awkward with writing third-person novel fiction (roleplaying, however, is fine, don't know why). That's fine, I know my preferences now.

Also, the best third-person POV stories end up reading like first-person POV narratives with just an extra distance of perspective. GRRM and Abercrombie and Hobb (via Liveship Traders and Rainwilds Chronicles) are great at that sort of thing, adding in sprinkles of unreliableness, character voice, and intensity to their characters.

9. Are you for or against multiple narrators in the same book?

With the obvious caveat of none of this is worth a damn if you can't write solid characterization: depends on the scope/scale of the story and the vantage points of the sides of an event, really.

If everyone's on the same side, they better have different nuances of ideology and motives on why they're on the same side and make their decisions accordingly. Otherwise, it'll just take away focus on the protagonist who's likely already fleshed out enough by dint of getting the narrative focus. I heard Anthony Ryan fucked up with the succeeding books of Raven's Shadow, after Blood Song, by having POVs that blended together, voice-wise, and no one gave a shit about.

I'd certainly rather get a plurality of perspectives from different sides to avoid an Othered side in a conflict. Hearing different sides, getting different sympathies, is good. It's recognizing humanity in a different side, even if it's against a likeable one. It's tearing and empathizing in the emotionally complex way when you root for multiple sides, but the story's headed towards a conclusion where only one wins and it breaks your heart that not everyone can get a happy ending by dint of them being in opposition with each other.

A Song of Ice and Fire does great work in terms of making multiple sides of a conflict humanized and complex. Davos makes Stannis appear more human when others wouldn't see his better qualities, Ned and Cersei have entirely different perspectives of Robert Baratheon, Theon is a microcosm of how fucked the Starks and the Greyjoys are against him, Tyrion is a shat-down disabled, decent-enough person who has to work for the Lannisters, due to family with a far different viewpoint of his siblings.

That being said, multiple perspectives on different sides can very much go so wrong. Looking at you, first few chapters of Gardens of the Moon, where I didn't give much of a shit about anyone, despite spanning towns and cities and empires across, from village children to soldiers, from wizards to gods, one of the grandest scales ever devised in epic fantasy and I just did not care. Also, Wheel of Time, to a lesser degree. I gave a few shits, but not enough to justify the time-sink I put into that series.

Wait, does this technically mean Erikson is the first author I ever dnf'd, even if I only read the previews? That's a frightening thought, given I didn't even do that for Rothfuss' The Name of the Wind. FUCK.

Thing is, most authors aren't particularly great at insinuating messy humanity or depth out of supporting characters, so that's why I suspect they use multiple narrators to compensate. But I'm hardly against multiple narrators, given my first two favorite series have them. Unless you're a Robin Hobb-grade writer, chances are, your singular narrator's gonna feel thinner or limiting by dint of a single lens on the events involved.

So, if we're going with whether singular or multiple narrators of similar writer skill levels... sure, I'm for them, but I'm very aware of how sour and congesting multiple perspectives can get, and Hobb remains Queen of Characterization, primarily on the strength of her Fitz books, which only had one narrator for six solid books.

25. Do you enjoy concepts in books to be concrete or abstract?

Very likely abstract. I'm more attuned to understanding something through abstraction anyway, and writing that's too grounded or prescriptive can nail down something that would've been better left more ambiguous. It might be why I'm partial`towards fantasy than sci-fi, given the latter's penchant for concreteness and rules and such.

27. Classics or modern literature?

Oh my. Absolutely modern literature. I tried to dig into Shakespeare and Charles Dickins a few times and the language alone felt like hitting my head against a brick alone. Not to mention how white and straight-centric it all was (still is, just to a lesser degree). Granted, that could purely be because Western culture is super dominant in the world, and I hadn't dug into any non-English classics, but still. Nowadays, more marginalized people are given more leeway to have their stuff published and spread around and known. I'm sure there were plenty of people who wrote literature and were inclusive, but were never published and their stories are lost forever now. We just have the advantage of our forebears nowadays.

However. I haven't read that many classics, comparatively. I did read Madame Bovary, The Old Man and the Sea, and a select amount of William Faulkner's works, and I quite liked those enough, even digging the hell out of Faulkner’s Barn Burning, what an amazing moral journey for the page-count. I still need to read Frankenstein, Pride and Prejudice, and Middlemarch alone, so take my opinion on classics with a decent grain of salt. I'm sure there's a reader or two out there who thinks there's a classic or two or ten out there that's really good and inclusive and I'm Boo Boo the Fool.

28. Thoughts on adults reading YA?

I mean. If this book asks game is asking in the sense of thoughts on adults reading something that's too young for them, I've watched Steven Universe, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, and the first season of Infinity Train recently, while thinking of trying out Adventure Time and Centaurworld nowadays. And read Warrior Cats and Wings of Fire in my adult years a few years ago, while thinking of reading The Princess and the Goblin, Little Lord Fauntleroy, Redwall, and Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH. So. Clearly, I've got no reservations on that sort of thing. Adults should read what they want.

If anything, purely from personal experience, I was systemically scared of and mocked for consuming media for kids by judgmental-ass parents. I was told to watch Titanic and Friends at like 8 years old because it was more "grown-up!" You bet I'm not going to judge anyone for reading something intended for a younger audience and liking/loving it. We former children of abuse and trauma should be allowed to reclaim the joys that were ripped from us without fear or condemnation. And everyone else should read what they want, fuck everyone else.

That being said, I do have a few thoughts on adults reading YA.

1. Do bear in mind you're reading books that are meant for an entirely different demographic. You're not the intended audience, so please don't presume your thoughts of a book will necessarily generalize to what a young adult will and should take away from it. That's hardly a bad thing, in some regards, but do keep some context in mind when evaluating it.

2. Don't judge a demographic standard by a really bad/popular book in it. It's not only judgy, it's cruel to a whole scope of books. I'm not a fan of Twilight or Divergent at all, but Earthsea Cycle, To Kill a Mockingbird, and Speak were formative well-written experiences to me as a teenage (for the latter two) and as an adult (for the former). Hell, I'm tryin to read more Young Adult novels to see what I've been missing.

30. Have you ever written your own book?

Hahaha. No. I've got plans and have two reasonably solid bones for books though, for a start!

1. My dragonrider revolution fantasy, full of gender-nonconforming dipshits in a shitty end-of-middle-ages society (already got some solid details about the protagonist, and the supporting cast) that's going to take a good chunk from Hobb's Farseer trilogy, in terms of premise and interiority of supporting cast, except queerer, and taking a stab at a fantasy revolution story that goes loads more messier.

2. My Croatian supernatural romance post-war travelogue, tentatively titled The Folk Devils of Hrvatska, full of disabled shitty people, asshole invaders, and a goat-devil who the protagonist snarks at, but also wants to fuck? Lots of ruminations about war, the aftereffects and what happens when you have to rebuild from the ashes of destruction and what purpose you make after your losses.

I want to get published, of course, I'll even claw my way to self-publishing, if I must, but I just want to try and actually make it as a writer and try at a dream I thought was impossible for the longest time. If just one person loves it with the fervor I have for these stories, I'll be content and smile.

Now, if someone calls me the next Robin Hobb, I'll fucking die on the spot. That's way too high, but sometimes, you need that ambition to surpass the greats, or else fade in mediocrity. And you'll likely do that anyway if you dream smaller. You have nothing to lose by dreaming bigger. Even the giants got their weak spots you can strike at.

Thanks again, Books! Really appreciate the opportunity to be totally unhinged with opinions. 😉

[creekqueen27]

Control (Pennywise) 2

[I always listen to music, mainly one song during writing a chapter to get the feels really going. This is the one I mainly listened to during writing this chapter. It's different for every chapter. I'll be posting them, happy reading <3]

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The necessities. That's all that were packed away in the few suitcases that used to lay in the back of the large closet, collecting dust. A new apartment awaited the arrival of it's new occupant, on the more dangerous side of town. The perfect place to settle into. The pictures that hung on the walls, all the false happiness within the memories. It still burns to look at them. The pure, true hope that I had.. pure stupidity. I shake my head as I exit the home-his home. This was no longer my place. As I drove the small, slightly beaten up car across town it was deadly silent around me. The perfect way to drown in my emotions. I boiled in negativity all the way into the apartment. The anger finally rising to the surface. A few things were unpacked here and there. Pacing and thinking occupied most of my time. Deciding on the first victim took a bit of thought as I scrolled through photos of his friends. The smartphone had a photo of a smiling young man on the screen, my first target. His work friend, who first introduced him to his new lover. "Brian.." I mumble to myself. What a mistake you've made. You poor, poor soul. You have no idea what's coming to you.

I get an outfit ready, knowing where he'd be tonight. He'd always go out on the weekends with 'the boys from work'. I was probably cheated on nearly every weekend and I didn't even know it. I may just have quite a feast tonight. In fact... I fully intend to.

I go to Brian's usual weekend hang out spot, a little bar near the edge of town. I walk up to the door and enter, nearly immediately spotting him with a trio of guys. I purposefully walk by them slowly, hearing a few whispers about my body. I smirk to myself and sit at the bar by myself, ordering a drink. I grow bored when I realize they're going to be a while. I pass by them again to exit the bar, giving them a good show on the way out, raising my shirt up a bit and doing a sexual gesture before motioning them outside. I doubt Brian even remembers me, if he does, he'd be too drunk to realize it- until it's too late.

I stand outside, waiting for them to exit the small bar. Finally, I recognize a few guys stumbling out of the door. One, two, three, four... yummy. I am pretty hungry.

"I could stand to spoil myself to a nice meal tonight." I smirk to myself as I purposefully strut over to them leaving my spot underneath the streetlight, careful to keep my face partially hidden in the shadows of my long hair. I hear two of them whistle at me as I sway my hips. Idiots.

"You boys wanna have some fun?" I asked in a flirty voice while pushing my chest out.

"Hell yeah baby!" One said. There was slurred agreement all around. I smirked to myself. Quite a feast, indeed.

"Follow me, I know somewhere we can go where we won't be interrupted." I say with a giggle. I start down the sidewalk, towards the edge of town and farther away from the city. "It's not much farther." I say as I hear one of them whisper a complaint on the length of the journey.

"Why do we have to go so far?" He asks, slurring his speech. I stop and turn around, running my hands down my chest and stopping at my sides.

"I'm a screamer. I get pretty loud. You boys look promising, I'm sure I won't be disappointed. I don't want to be interrupted either." I say in a sultry voice. He immediately perks up and quickens his pace. I smile at his actions, so eager. I can't help but giggle a bit. I go across the road and towards the woods, taking them close to the creek around the barrens. No one will hear them here.

I walk to the edge of the creek and stop, turning to look at them. The moon is so bright tonight, I can see them perfectly. I smile at them, they're standing in a near perfect line watching me intensely.

"Are you gonna strip for us first babe?" Brian asks. I giggle and bite my finger, feeling my fangs begin to come out. I walk over to him, slowly while swaying my hips. I circle around him while touching his chest lightly. I repeat this with each one, feeling an odd and sudden sensation of being watched. I ignore it and continue. I couldn't be identified even I am being watched. No one would believe the truth, anyway.

I convince myself to continue with my plan. I get to the tallest one, he looks the fastest. I put my hands on his face and bring his head down to mine. Just as he thinks I'm going to kiss him, I lunge for his neck biting and ripping with my teeth. Warm, beautiful blood begins spewing everywhere. The rest of the guys have a delayed reaction because of the alcohol in their system, but they scatter once they realize what just happened.

"Crazy bitch!" One screams as he tries running for the hill. I'm faster, I catch up to him grab his ankle, successfully crushing the bone and immobilizing him; at least until I can have my full attention on him. I look frantically for Brian as the anger rises more and more, seeing him running across the creek. I target him, my speed faster than that of a human. I tackle him into the creek, smelling his blood. He must have hit a sharp rock hard, the water is already turning red. I catch a faint scent of someone-something..

I open my mouth, and dig my teeth into his jugular, drinking him down quickly. I feel the smooth, warm blood in my throat, a delightful feeling. The one with the broken ankle is struggling hard, the tall one is dead, I'm drinking Brian.. where's the other-

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!" I hear the fourth one scream in pure terror while falling next to the one with the broken ankle. I stop drinking, Brian's long dead, and turn to look at what's going on. I see a tall silhouette lunge at my food. Blood goes everywhere. That must have been who I was smelling. Not only did they take one of my foods, but they started attacking the one with the broken ankle too!

"Hey! What the hell! They're mine!" I scream over to them in anger, completely offended. "I got them here, get your own!" I call as I begin walking over. I hear a- what I can only describe as maniacal- giggle as they stand to their full height. Much, much taller than me. I can't see their face, tilted down and hidden in shadows. Definitely not human, though. Is that red hair?

"Well, you're more than welcome to try to take them back from me." A male voice with a slight lisp says happily. Maybe I shouldn't push my luck...

I sigh angrily, nearly growling. I can't fucking believe this. "I don't want to have to hurt you, too." I lie. Honestly, I'm a little nervous. I'm not sure if I can take him or not. He's bigger than me, and seems to be much stronger than me too. I have no idea what he is. Is he even a he?

"Oh, are you going to hurt me?" He laughs, nearly mocking me, "That's not very likely" He says arrogantly, a slight lisp still in his voice. I roll my eyes and stare at him. What an ass. Something catches my eye, a red balloon floating towards me. I glance at between it and him, not sure what's going on anymore. The balloon gets closer and closer until it's right in front of me. It slowly spins, printed words revealing a message before suddenly popping and two of my victims, along with that arrogant thief, are gone. I look around me in every direction, searching for any sign of any of them.

Nothing. It's like they disappeared into thin air. I roll my eyes and look back at Brian lying in the creek, little to no blood left in his body as the water is tinted a beautiful shade of red. I walk over to the tall guy laying on the creek bank with his jugular ripped out. I sigh as he, too, has little to no blood. I'm not starving, in fact I'm quite full.. but I'm still pissed off.

"What in the hell just happened? Who was that?!" I sigh angrily while walking back towards town, towards my new apartment. A shower intended for relaxation turns to a nearly obsessive, repetitive brainstorming session. He wasn't one of me.. he ate their flesh..

Where did he come from?

How long was he watching us?

Has he always been here in Derry?

Why did he eat their flesh?

What is he??

I turn off the water that's going cold quickly, these questions still running through my mind as I dry myself off and get dressed. I stretch before crawling into bed and grabbing my phone, looking through social media. I smile as I read a post about a party in two nights. A good way to sharpen my hunting skills again.. I think with a smile, hopeful that I might run into someone on my drink list and just kill two birds with one stone. Should I make the new lovers the next ones; or should I make them watch as everyone around them that had a hand in my pain, dies? Decisions, decisions... Just before sleep overtakes me, my mind wonders back to the creek around the barrens. The thief.. what kind of creature could he be.. and how dangerous is he to me? Should I be worried.. cautious?

The last thing running through my mind is the strange message on the balloon...

"We belong..."

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Okay guys, so I know it's a little rough but there will be more of our favorite guy in the next chapter and he's obviously gonna be a regular in the chapters. I plan on having his 'human' form involved just about as much as his 'clown' form. Also, of course, this in the fanfiction universe so please don't get too bent out of shape that his entire being isn't like it is in the novel (Which I haven't read all the way through.)

Comments, suggestions, requests for oneshots, let me know <3

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi, ENTP user here. You've once mentioned that dropping things and people quickly can be a sign of unhealthy Ne. I have a great issue with the people part, particularly with romance. Once I get at least a tiny bit bored I freak out and run away. I used to think that 'well they're not THE ONE' but after some thinking I tend to think it's the issue of MY mindset - no matter how much I try, I'll always end up like this if I don't solve it. Any advice/commentary?

(Gif: Dolores, Westworld. ENFP.)

This is specifically an inferior Si problem.

High Si know that great relationships take time. High Si knows life is not an endless succession of exciting moments. High Si knows the ups and downs of life and of relationships are normal. High Si knows trust, compatibility, and true understanding of another person comes with the willingness to wait, and allow a relationship to develop. High Si knows the details of someone else are valuable. High Si knows that someone might be ‘the one’ if you grow together.

Here is the hard truth every Ne-dom struggles with: life can and will often be boring. There will be periods of your life in which you are bored, when nothing interesting is happening unless you make it happen. It is your choice, whether you sacrifice your relationships on the altar of boredom or take those people with you into excitement. Now, it is true some people are not compatible with one another. If you have known someone only a short time, but most often find your mind not fully engaged with them, a relationship with that person may not be your best option, because you will “lose interest” quickly.

However, part of growing up and maturing, especially for the EXXP, is learning commitment; once a commitment bond forms, it takes a great deal to break it. I used to waffle on a friendship a great deal. There were times when we had fun, and times when I felt little interest. Then I realized that I was essentially being selfish; I was mostly concerned with filling “my” needs, some of which were unreasonable. Ne kept telling me, “What if there’s a BETTER person out there? The PERFECT match? You should throw this person aside and look for them!”

But… is that how I want to be treated? As a Substitute Person? A temporary placeholder until a more exciting person comes along? Is that how I want to live my life? Going from one person to another, USING one person after another, chasing endlessly after something abstract (what defines a “better” match?) instead of appreciating, maturing, and developing the relationships I have? There was a point where I stopped and said, “That’s it. I’m going to stop doubting this friendship. It’s good. We have fun. We hardly ever fight. We believe roughly the same way on a lot of issues. I’m just going to stay friends with her.” That was it. I haven’t doubted since. (We’ve been friends 14 years.)

Does she fulfill all my needs? No. She doesn’t have to. That’s my job. Are there boring patches where we have nothing to say? Yes, there are. That’s life. And in those boring patches, I find a new interest – not a new person. I am letting Si build our understanding of one another and ground me in reality. I cannot chase after an abstract individual who will keep me constantly entertained; the real thing, real conversations, real people, real lunch dates, are better.

I hear you in the romantic department. There’s a reason I’m single. I’ve had a couple of boyfriends but the minute it started getting “serious” … I ran away. I got scared. Scared I might get “trapped” in something I don’t want or like. Scared of the major commitment that comes from a serious relationship. Scared of all it implies. Are you really bored or… scared? Are you letting your Ne run away with you into the future as you live out an entire relationship and decide – nah (like I did) instead of living… now? In this moment? JUST HERE? If so,thats not fair. You just lived a life with another person out in your head in which they had no say, and assumed it would end in boredom. Why not just live it?

When you are facing one of those moments of “eh, should I cut and run?” ask yourself these questions:

Am I really “bored” with this relationship or chasing something abstract (a “better” one) that does not exist? Stop living in abstract-land. Write up a list of deep, character-driven qualities you want in a partner or friend and seek out people who have them.

Am I throwing away something good because it’s not moving “fast” enough? The entire world does not move as fast as the Ne-dom brain does. Are your expectations of how quickly a relationship progresses realistic?

Am I bored because I have not taken a true interest in this person? Look at your relationship. Do you only ever talk about what you want to talk about? Do you enjoy them when they take an interest in you, and then get bored when it’s their turn to talk? Do they exist just as a sounding board for your ego? Or do they actually matter to you as a human being? Do you know details about them? Did you ask questions and show interest in their likes and dislikes and passions, even though they are not yours? Or did you not listen because that’s “boring”? Did you pay attention when they confided in you?

Am I scared? Of… commitment? Letting someone get close to me? Giving away my heart? Opening up to someone else? Being tied to another person? Closing the door on other possibilities?

Or is what you have right now in the glorious, complex, fully flesh human being in your life… better than some abstract dream?

- ENFP Mod