#so im just going to deal with it instead of trying to deal with clay and hand sculpting 💀

[kingmaximusboltagon]

since maximus and crystal have never gotten official figures even though the rest of the family has, i decided i'd just... make my own. i ended up buying the parts for max first, mostly because the stuff on ebay ended up being ridiculously expensive altogether and because the torso i planned for crystal ended up sold before i got paid. oops.

but all of the parts are coming from different sellers and arriving at different times. the first part came in today! i was worried about potentially losing it and wondering where i could put it until everything else got here. case in point:

medusa now gets to hold a head for a few days!

[shefromhouston]

Pretty on Purpose

HOW TO MAINTAIN A PRETTY AURA ON A BUDGET

beauty maintenance tips:

at home mani-pedi: having your nails done at a salon constantly can sometimes be hard to keep up with when you don’t have the budget for a 70-150$ set every 2 weeks, so pick up a at home acrylic set to do for yourself along with some cute nail polish for your toes💅🏽 I usually stick to a super cute but classic french manicure. KISS Salon Acrylic Nude set is so pretty + fits every skin tone! It retails for about 7 dollars + lasts for over a week! with great care they can stretched for two weeks.

kitchen face masks: im not crazy about DIY skincare because i do believe proper skin care products are specifically made to absorb into the skin, not just sit on top BUT i do understand running out of my favorite LUSH mask of magnaminty while i’m trying to save a coin or two can cause more stress pimples than my pretty face can afford. SO, a simple yet effective mask (+ only kitchen masks i’ll ever whip up) is my go-to. Try a mix of manuka honey (or any unfiltered RAW honey) and turmeric. That’s all, mix a small amount + apply to your skin for even tone and glowy skin. Also you can’t go wrong with a Aztec Healing Clay Mask, that’ll run you about 12 bucks.

style your natural hair: hair tends to be my BIGGEST beauty bill, so during times when i need save + my hair isn’t already in a style, i focus on styling my curls. Slick back buns + ponytails are my go-to. It’s simple, sleek, + super cute! If managing your natural hair is too much, braiding hair is about 5-8 $ per pack, this’ll be a great time to sit in front a mirror, prop up that laptop + find a good tutorial on easy braid styles. Learn how to do knotless braids on yourself or those super adorable North West chunky braids, building skill during this time could not only save you money but with practice, save you the hassle we all experience dealing with hairstylist.

body mist + perfume minis: idk about y’all but when i look + SMELL good, i feel good. Running out your favorite fragrances during a time when you don’t have the extra cash to re-up can be like losing an old and familiar friend, look up the notes in that fragrance + make your way to a department store like Marshall’s, Ross, TJ Maxx, Burlington, Walmart or Target + get a body mist or perfume dupe! Marshall’s + TJ Maxx usually carry a travel size of many lux perfumes. If you’re obsessed with Juicy Couture fragrances like me, they’re always at these places for super low prices too. Body mists with similar notes can give you a more affordable fragrance option too. To keep body mists scent lingering a little longer try to pick up a similar scented body oil. These options shouldn’t cost you more than 20$, unless your aiming for the perfume dupes or smaller sizes of your favorites, most of them are going for 20-40$ which is a lot more affordable than the 120+ dollars we spend on full size perfumes.

shop your own closet + make a wishlist: shopping sprees are my favorite past time, but saving money can put a quick halt to that hobby. So instead I tend to focus on what i already have, pick out my favorites + literally style them in as many ways as i can- this is also a great time to develop your styling skill, experiment with different pairings + what not. If you just enjoy being out shopping like myself, there is nothing wrong with window shopping for yourself, i call it ‘wishlist hunting’. Go out, get yourself a nice lil lunch, grab ice coffee or chai latte and hit up your favorite stores. There is no law against browsing! (lol but avoid luxury stores or boutique due to them most times having a policy against browsing) Anyways, browse your favorite stores + make note of your next pick ups once you’re able to. It’s like manifesting lol. It also gives you something to look forward to once you’re able to splurge so you won’t be frivolously spending once you get extra coin.

mental health maintenance:

to be transparent, being in tight spot financially can sometimes cause me to worry + feel stressed, even if i’m able to manage all my bills + food. Not having extra money to do the things i want, the way i want can be depressing. My mental + emotional well-being is more important to me than just looking pretty, i want to feel that way too. Being pretty also means my thoughts aren’t against me, especially about things out of my control. Being pretty means that i’m in high energy, not only to be kind to others but kind to myself. Ive been dealing with chronic depression + anxiety since i was 14, so maintaining the things that bring me joy + comfort me is prioritized during times of worry or stress. Being pretty isn’t just about my nails + hair staying done, being pretty is knowing i’m in a safe space with myself so i wont act out in ugly ways. A lot of people don’t acknowledge how managing finances can add to stress + sadness, why should i allow myself to be angry and anxious? that’s ugly to me. Therapy isn’t always accessible or affordable, so journaling is my go-to until i’m able to access professional mental health services. A super cute girls and thems night in is great for the heart, vent it out with your closest friends. Volunteering is free! it’s a great way to give back during a time when you may not have the funds to and gets you out of your mind about things out of your control. Donate or sell some old clothes to help other itgrls on a budget be pretty on purpose. Something about seeing other people appreciate things you don’t show enough love to anymore is good for the conscious.

remember, there is no one in this universe who can be you better than yourself and who you are should not depend on how much or how little you have at any given moment.

xoxo, itgrl Pier

[mercuryferns]

Not to “vent” on main, but i want to speak about pride and autism for a bit

I’m currently in a weird place in my life where im trying to accept many aspects of my identity that i considered ugly for a long long time. one of those being my autism, which i was diagnosed with a little earlier on this year. having that diagnosis fundamentally changed how i viewed myself in ways i struggle to describe to you. i had a brief phase where in desperation to dissociate myself from the stigmatized perception of autistic people that had unconsciously polluted my brain, i swore to use terms like “aspie” and “high functioning” “level one” as if allistic society seeing me as not human but in a slightly more appealing way (that being that instead of being seen as a four year old incapable of original thought i would be a weird carbon copy of albert einstein destined to cure cancer) would somehow make my life easier.

it doesnt, all it does is reinforce the same pseudo scientific eugenic hierarchy of what a clever worthy person is and what a broken unintelligible undeserving one is. realizing that was tough, because i grew up coping with my autistic traits by being whatever people wanted. i was like cheap air dried clay where the more i tried to mould myself into something i wasnt the more i started to crack, smooth over it meticulously with spit and desperation. im still in this spot of fragmented identity, in a liminal space between what i always wished i could be and the disappointing reality of what i actually am.

is it disappointing? is it only disappointing because i’m who i was taught was wrong?

i got what is known as an “unofficial” diagnosis. in other words, we went to a psychiatrist, did an evaluation, and was told hey yeah you’re right. this was because my mother wanted me to be diagnosed with asbergers, which is no longer recognized. i know she meant well. she didnt want me to feel like i was carrying a label too heavy for me. but theres a major part of me - especially after finding out exactly why the label “asbergers” exists - which is in violent opposition to it.

and. upon finding validation in the online autistic community i discovered just how unfounded my shame is. Being autistic is beautiful in so many ways. it makes me so sad that i would ever dismiss it as a part of me. I dont know how i managed to evade diagnosis for so long.

(when i look back on my childhood, i find it riddled with memories of rooms with yoga balls and swings; middle aged ladies with pixie cuts and the same lipstick spending hours trying to teach me how to write the letter C; pulled out of class “where am i going?“ “i think you need to calm down” “i am calm”; my father eyeing my ankles and calling “flat feet” as a reminder to let my heels touch the cold grainy tiles of our stoep, drawing faces on my erasers and sobbing for days when a girl threw penelope in the bin of the afrikaans class; reciting “just think about something else just think about something else just think about something else just-“ while attempting to get myself to eat egg and toast that was too toasted and anything with more than two identifiable textures; seeing someone in my spot in my spot in my spot in my spot in my spot thats my spot thats my spot thats my spot feeling something boil in my stomach; what are you doing i dont like it i dont understand are friends supposed to do this to me?)

Yeah. I have to study for my history exam now. But the point is that im autistic. And thats not only okay thats fucking awesome. Its a huge part of my life and if your idea of normal is what has caused me so much pain and dissociation throughout the years then deal with it when i actually embrace my own brain.

allistics who are cool, this is not intended to shit on you. just some thoughts ive had lately.

[kidfoundonstreets]

aauUUGHHHhhhHhHH  last post suepr. long . psot. sorry i was having a time

picking mysekf up the floor like a muppet and throwqign myself onto the keyboard okay

thinking about claire now that they all know about the contract this is going to get so good and dont worry im hyped but its so scary somebodys definitely going to die and just...aghhghhg... all of the cgs.. so cool the wishes they have im glad their backstories were all revealed but now its all added up to this point in a way

HELPGFJS so true lime so true WHAT THE HELL THE WAY SHE HID THE WORD NEGATIVE TJHATS SO UNFAIR WHTA THEHFGK I GUESS YOU COULD TWIST IT AROUND AND SAY WELL ITS A DEMON CONTRACT BETTER EXPECT IT TO BE NEGATIVE BUT THATS STILL SO CRUEL TO PULL ASHE SPENT SO SO LONG JUST TRYING TO FIND SOME WAY SOMEHOW TO REVIVE HIS FAMILY BECAUSE OF HIS INSISTENT DENIAL THAT ITS NOT OVER AND THATS JUST WHATS GOING TO HAPPEN MAYBE THEN HE’D REALLY BE INSANE/BROKEN i jusghtjgjhg man. this fucking game lime you are so dead the moment rouge finds out. rules are there for a reason but i feel like itll be too late by then  lime is too emotional about what she does her impulsivity is really her downfall i guess

girl./...........youre the worst...................... (affectionate. kinda)

NOEL NOEL NOEL NOEL MY EVERYTHING NOEL </3 NOEL 

THIS IS THE WORST SITUATION TO BE IN SOMEONES GONNA SHOOT HER OR STAB HER SIRIUS IS SO IMPULSIVE NOEL DOESNT WANT TO HURT ANYBODY ASHE IS BEYOND DESPERATE ITS JUST SO BAD FOR CLAIRE AND IT ISNT EVEN HER FAULT

ISIRUS YOU ANGEL NONONONONONONOONONO WHY DOES HE ALWAYS HAVE TO GET THE SHORT END OF THE STICK

still somehow iconic......... THIS IS SO INTENSE UGHGFKSJHGEKWJHRTIEQ I LOVE IT BUT IM SO SRESSTED OUT they were all affected by the dreams and god just reminding someone of their past does that i guess its all so,,

sirius sirius i love you i love you so much but theyre looking at you so distastefully sirius are you buying them time are you trying to get them to understand maybe your words will reach them but it might get you killed please please dont die he died I HATE THIS I HATE THIS

WILARDO??????????????????? THE REGRET GOT TO HIM WILARDO AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA SIRIUS WAS TRYING HIS BEST BUT HE WAS SHUT UP JUST LIKE THAT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA i took all of the rest of the screenshots without commenting so i could play without pausing so!111 if some is a bit vague thats why

HSJHGHGHGHKJHGH I HATE THIS I HATE THIS I HATE THIS SO MUCHGHHG ASHE JUST EFFORTLESSLY STABBED HIM LIKE THAT AND IS TRYING TO LOOK AT HIOW ITS GOING TO BE GRAHNTED NOW AND EVERYTHING WILL BE BACK AGAIN IM USRE THATS ALL HE RUNS ON WHEN E DOES THIS HE JUST TELLS HIMSELF THAT THIS IS THE ONLY WAY FOR IT TO HAPPEN AND OFC HE CANT ACCPET IT SO EASILY HE NEVER HAS IN THE PAST YEARS

a WIALROD WILARDO MAKES ME SO SAD IM SORRY EVEN AFTER SO MUCH TIME OF BEING HGJHKJFFHRWKJHRE3H32ROUI32YRH432UR2KRUJ23HR hE JU7ST DEICDED ANWYAY TO STOP HIM FROM KILLING CXLAIRE EVEN IF HE WANTED THE SAME THING HE PUT ASIDE HIS OWN WISH FOR THIS SO HE COULD STOP HIM AND ITS SO AAAAGHGHH I CANT PUT IT INTO WORDS BUT THIS IS SUCH A GOOD SCENE  SOMEONE HE HASNT KNOWN FOR EVEN A WEEK. HE STOPPED ASHE FROM DOING THAT  WILARDO DESERVED. BETTER

ashe feeling some feelings he doesnt wanna feel i have to admit this guy can run really really fast i really wish we found out what happened to them after this,, DUDE WHAT THE HELL HE APPLIED IT TO CLAIRES SCALP SO SECRELTY TOO HE COULD BE AN ASSASSIN IF HE WNATED 

HELPFHF THEY CALLED IT OUT RIGHT THERE ITS NEVER A GOOD THING WHEN THAT HAPPENS noel right away caring about claire >> i cry about them everyday did you kn ow BUT SERIOUSLY WHY ARE THEY MESSING AORUND EVEN MORE THINKING ABOUT IT THEY TAMPERED WIAH ALL OF IT bro when will they catch a break...they need to face one thing after another and now htey need to face a weird puzzle with fire and everything and im so scared about the poison claire is dealing with how long will it take to kill her

AAAAGGGGGGGGGHGHJHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I WILL NEVER. EVER. SHU TUP. AHBO UT THEM .

CLAIRE FEELING LIKE SHIT EVEN STILL SAW NOEL STRUGGLING AND PANICKING FROM THE GUITL AND EVEN THOUGH SHE FELT SICK SHE EVEN STILL JUST HELPED HIM AND JSUYT THE WLAMI GNG SPRITE THE. THE WLAKJIGN SPRTITE THE AAAAAAAAAAAUGHHGHJHHHHH AND EVENT EHN TEHY CARE FOER EACH OTHER BECAUS E NOEL NOTICES HOW TIRED SHE IS AND THEN HE JUSTJNGGNFJGKFKDJGHFDKJGWRETWE34T32W452324523523

HE FINDS. HISME LF. IN CLAI RE. HE ADMITREWD HIMSELF THAT HE MAY NOT BE RLEIAB RLE. AN DYE T . THA TMAY JUST BE HIS WORDS OR WHATEVR BUT JUST HTE WAY THAT CLAIRE GIVES HIM SO MUCH CORUAGE SHE GIVES HIM SO MUCH MENAING AND SHE MAKES HIM GO TO LENGTHS THAT HE NEVER WOUL FOR ANYBODY ELSE HE RELALY WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR CLAIRE AND IT MAY BE UNREQUITED LOVE ON CLAIRES SIDE BUT I GNEUINELY JSUT EITHER WAY WHATEVER WAY THEYRE HONESTLY JUST SO>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>AGGHHHH I CANT WORD BUT I WAS EXPLODING DYING DISSOLVING DURING ALL OF HTIS SO MUCH

THE TIME LOOP WAS FOUND OUT AND STILL NOEL CANT KILL CLAIRE EVEN WHEN THE KNIFE IS AT HIS FEET AND ITS THE BEST TIME HE STILL CANT FIND IT IN HIMSELF TO EVEN PICK UP THE KNIFE AND INSTEAD JUST BEGS CLAIRE NOT TO DIE GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I CNAT TAKE THIS

SHE PICKED UP THE KNIFE AND JUST,GFDGJFKGHE STABBED HERSELF  SHE HASNT WANTED TO DIE THIS ENTIRE TIME BUT SHE JUST DIES BY HER OWN HAND HERE SO THAT GHJHGFUSDKHFOEUIRH32IH32U43214324J32432 IM SORRY IM KEYSMASHING SO MUCH BUT 

a this is to be honest one of my favorite claire moments i mean i didnt completely understand what was going on and i still dont but it was jusst so,, after it all i felt something i wasnt sure what but i def felt something and wanted to cry AND SHE LOOKS SO GOOD HERE. HER DEVELOPMENT >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> WAHGHGH

the scrtahced out i just died. i love the credits

this place is so weird but comforting its funny to think about how claire can still react to things while in here the entire bonus thing. the music was so good. walked into the place to see zizel

she finds claire way too entertaining which i guess is better than hatred,,,,,,, and apparently theyre playing russian roulette now on what memories she’ll remember from this bonus after everything AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

this is the scariest thing ive ever done in my life maam please istg if theres any actual bullets

to be fair claire was dizzy from poison, suffering stab wounds, just went through fire and tons of pressure and trauma backstories, and had just had the knife in front of her 

[madame-fear]

omg im soo sorry to hear about what has happened with your crush! the situation is so horrible and your frustration is completely valid! i hope your okay. crushes get can complicated ive given up on them now tbh. listen to loads of music, watch shows and films you like and just do loads of things you enjoy thats how i heal! i heard somewhere that like starting a new hobby or like game or something can also help cus it takes your mind off things and gives you something new to focus on. so like idk maybe read a new book or knit something or paint something. (personally i like sculpting and playing with clay i find it very therapeutic) (even just like play-dough) always remember your brave, strong and super cool.

~🦈🗯🧍‍♂️(me shouting at him)

🦈👯‍♀️🐈(us dancing off into the sunset together cus men suck)

Hi hi my dearest, lovely Sharky anon!! 🥰❤🙏 It's very pleasant to see your message in my ask box once again!! :D

Thank you so so much, i really needed to hear that 🥰🥰🙏 I've lately been listening to 3 particular songs that currently relate to my situation:

1 ) Du Lügst (You Lie) – OOMPH!

2 ) The Hills – The Weeknd (the slowed version always gets me...it's so intense somehow :"))

3 ) Labios Compartidos (Shared Lips) – Maná

These 3 songs have helped me feel related with what's currently going on, and somehow, even if I relate to them, they still help me chill & get a bit distracted from all the tension & the upset/overwhelming feelings i've been dealing with. I've been doing just as you said! Crushes are so messy sometimes, and only make you feel overwhelmed...so!! I decided to learn new things such as maths, physics, forensics, read books about the topics i like the most, i even began writing some requests in my draft once again!

The same day i found out about this situation, my dad and i began watching GoT and we got so hooked up on it! It helped me forget about the frustration and annoyance, and entertained me a lot :) So, it's definitely nice to learn new things and watch good shows & movies while eating garbage food, definitely takes your stress out.

Have you heard of Art Therapy? I've done it and, hell, i never realised how therapeutic and relaxing painting could be. I need to read more about it, but it's basically focused on painting and drawing and it helped me so much to get my mind off these things.

It's...confusing as hell, and certainly disappointing, but I guess it's healing, and rather quickly, i'm glad to say :) I guess it might be because not only i know i don't stand a chance w/him (which is irrelevant at this point considering what i'm about to say rn lmao), but because now i know he's got a whole family with a wife that recently she said on her profile that she now wants a baby girl, and instead of focusing on them, he's focusing on some random girl he barely talks to and just stares at...

i guess, things happen for some reason, right? Maybe, this happened for a good reason, and spared me some (awful and inconvenient) trouble! So the best i can do for now, is turn down all his staring and non-verbal flirting and begin to focus on myself & my well being. I realised, some crushes are lame and not worth the pain.

Thank you so so much for your nice words!! ❤❤❤💕😍😍 I will keep finding new hobbies like you said, and I'm going to try new things and forget about all this unnecessary mess. 🥰

(p.s: honestly? Dancing off into the sunset doesn't sound bad at all! Might as well need it, and forget about the world 😂💃💃👭💕)

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Matt Murdock’s child (Part 1)

Matt Murdock x child!reader

warnings: teen!dad matt. it’s not portrayed as like, a weird or horrible thing, it’s more of a growing up together type of deal. also blood, injury, death, alcohol AND there is a mention of the SA that made matt become daredevil (i put a tw in red right before it’s discussed and a couple red dots where it ends)

a/n: this gonna sound weird but the humor in this gives me the same vibes as me and my own dad’s humor. ALSO im cutting this off after season 1 because it got REALLY LONG

prompt:

part 2 part 3 part 4

matt wanted you to have a more stable life than him

which was a little hard considering when became a dad

by the time he went to law school, you were about 8

“is this room 312?” -matt

“yeah, who you looking for..? oh, sorry” -foggy

you dragged in your tiny suitcase behind him

“blind and a single dad? you’re getting all the ladies, aren’t you?” -foggy “how did you even manage to get a kid in here?”

“special arrangements were made, i’m quite persuasive. good thing i’m in law school” -matt

one time, your dad revealed (without much cause for worry) that he “always knows when you are lying” because he can “hear your heartbeat” and instead of that being a cute little motivation for you to always be honest, you literally spent months training yourself to outmaneuver him and you can pass just about any lie detector test. now he just has to take your word for things

being a little shit

“you smell really bad, foggy” -you

“that’s a little harsh…nevermind, thanks for letting me know” -foggy, sniffing himself

matt definitely didn’t want you to fight or be vigorously trained, but he did teach you a few moves because, well. they could help

he also got you some karate lessons to keep you occupied while he had class or internship stuff when you were done with school (which you loved to show off when you got home)

basically abusing foggy (but you were widdle so it wasn’t too serious)

“matt, can you ask your gremlin to stop kicking me?” -foggy

“y/n, stop kicking foggy” -matt

“never!” -you

“that’s it!” -foggy, throwing you over his shoulder

don’t get me wrong, foggy grew to love you, he was family for sure

you cant really draw anything for your dad so all of your masterpieces started going to “uncle foggy”

but when you made stuff out of clay or something…those ones went to your dad

“oh, thank you! is it…a dragon?” -matt, feeling the details

“it is a dragon, do you like it?” -you

“i love it” -matt

“how come i don’t get a dragon?” -foggy, pouting

“because your eyeballs work” -you, using your fingers to stretch your eyelids wide open

eventually, matt and foggy graduated and you moved back to hell’s kitchen, where things got…crazy.

by then you were about 13 or so, so much more experience in being the worst (jk your dad loves you)

*you, trying to sneak a beer without even having your hand on the bottle yet*

“absolutely not, don’t even think about it” -matt

“blindness gave you omnipotence? ugh, you suck” -you

“then you half-suck. it’s hereditary” -matt

matt being REALLY worried about you in hell’s kitchen, but you insisted you’d be perfectly fine walking back and forth from your bus stop

he got u a taser

that was just a horrible idea you love the sound of the zaps

foggy felt threatened

it wasn’t very long before your dad turned to vigilantism, and it wasn’t very hard for you to figure it out

“what’s up with the mask, dad?” -you

“what, uh, what are you talking about?” -matt

“did you think i was actually asleep on the couch last night? are you crazy?” -you

you happened to have an uncomfortable tether on reality that happened somewhere down the line

and your dad knew he could be real with you, but he hated to be. he really did

matt didn’t exactly love growing up in his “reality,” he wanted things to be so much sweeter for you

but coming home bloody and bruised every night wouldn’t make your life any sweeter

in a way, you did think your dad was awesome and kind of badass, but he was literally all you had and from the stories he told you, you could fall into the same boat any day now

“holy shit, are you…are you okay?” -you

“what’d we talk about with your language?” -matt, very injured

“what’d we talk about with your ass getting beaten?” -you, grabbing the med supplies

you reminding your dad of a young him fixing up his own dad after fights.

he didn’t know if that was good or bad

hanging out at nelson and murdock after school

“didn’t say you could drink coffee either” -matt

“you’d think with a blind dad i’d have an easier time sneaking around but noooo” -you

you and him had a great sense of humor

“his greatest accident was me” -you

*karen nearly spitting out her coffee*

“his worst accident was meeting my mom, though” -you “it ties with being blind”

oh yes your favorite joke was definitely the “i was a mistake” one and you milked it frequently, matt got in on the action too

“the teacher said i made a grammar mistake” -you

“i made a mistake once…you” -matt

oh and you both milked the hell out of the blind thing

“every time i look at you—” -you, trying to sass him

“every time i look at you i can’t see” -matt

oh and then

“actually, i’m the reason he’s blind. that’s what you get when you lay you eyes on the most beautiful baby to ever exist” -you

“you were an ugly baby, i literally felt it” -matt

it’s actually a birthday tradition for him to touch your face and “see how much you’ve grown”

“oh, a new pimple!” -matt

“alright, that’s enough from you” -you, laughing

karen and you having a pretty sick friendship (she likes when you tell embarrassing stories about matt and foggy)

“and then foggy threw up and—” -you

“why don’t i get you some coffee, y/n?” -foggy, wheeling your rolling chair far, far away

knowing more than you should, about life and the city. especially the fisk dealings

which kind of freaked you out, especially when death and destruction became more and more common

“dad? please be careful out there. you’re all i’ve got” -you

“i know…just stay put for now. please” -matt

he makes breakfast for you on special days. or when he needs to say sorry for coming home at 4am with intense injuries you have to care for

“i made waffles…” -matt

“i’m still mad at you” -you

“can you be mad at me while you eat the waffles?” -matt

claire thought you were pretty neat

loved your attitude and all

“met your kid on my way in, real character” -claire

“oh…god. what did they say?” -matt

“‘please identify your relationship to my father. friend or booty call’” -claire

“and your answer?” -matt

“the former, of course” -claire

every once in a while, your voice would boom through whatever room you found yourself in, yelling:

“en garde!” -you

“y/n, put down my walking cane” -matt

“you will have to earn it in combat!” -you

if you were in front of foggy or karen or anyone else, he’d just laugh while you poked him

but if you were home alone…

“oh, it’s on!” -matt

obviously, you both knew you couldn’t quite best him, but you could get a few hits and blocks in, for sure. and he always took it easy on you

“do you yield?” -you, poking him in the stomach

“i yield, oh no, how ever will i be able to walk the streets of new york without my cane” -matt, completely monotone

feeling bad that you keep hiding matt’s secret, especially from foggy. like, especially from him

but saying the darnedest things to throw them off the trail

“how do we know that the man in black isn’t johnny cash, hm? i’d like to know…when the man comes around” -you

“what the hell?” -acceptable answer from anyone

whenever matt goes out for any endeavor, whether masked or merriment, you always get the same trusting warning. no really, he trusted you on your own

“be good” -matt

“no” -you

other acceptable answers include: “absolutely not” “you wish” “‘good’ is a point of view” “that’s subjective” “if all your beer is gone, someone robbed us” “i’d throw a party if i had friends” “will you?” “yeah, right” “oh, okay, i’ll try that” “well, i was planning a murder tonight, but just because you said that—” “if i’m not, minors still get lighter sentencing, and i know a good lawyer. you know, at landman and zack”

matt doesn’t push his religion on you. he encourages religious debates if you have any. if you do, he steers you clear of the church. if you don’t, maybe you go to a service every once in a while.

“that’s not very catholic of you” -you, every time matt does something “bad”

working out with him at fogwell’s gym (when he’s not a complete and utter mess)

punching bags are your jam

every once in a while, he’ll teach you something new

sometimes, you get real with him

“do you ever like, put on that outfit or get the shit beat out of you and think ‘wow, maybe i am crazy for doing this?’” -you

“why, because im blind?” -matt

“because you’re a father” -you

when foggy found out, he was pretty mad at matt. but he didn’t know how to feel with you

you were a kid, matt’s kid, but he was family to you, he was devastated you didn’t share

a/n: this is where SA is talked about, there will be a line of red dots where it ends and the font goes back to normal size (also keep in mind that the hypothetical situation that y/n explains does not automatically imply reader is fem)

you decided to go after foggy on your own and talk to him since matt had revealed the injustice that set him down his path, the abused girl down the street

“foggy, you have to understand—especially as a lawyer—that the legal system doesn’t always work. dad did what he needed to do” -you

“i’m not saying i don’t understand that, but it’s matt. your dad, matt. my best friend, matt. he’s getting his shit rocked every night because of some domino effect?” -foggy

“foggy, do you blame him for going after some sick and twisted father for doing that to his daughter? what if it were me, foggy? what if you were put in his shoes and you found out that was happening to me?” -you

“dont—please don’t go there. that—it doesn’t—” -foggy

“he figured out he could do more than just that. do you think i’m not afraid of losing my father? i absolutely am, but he’s not easily stopped or slowed down. believe me, i’ve tried” -you

••••••

“well, why didn’t you just tell me?” -foggy

“uh because snitches get stitches” -you

“w-what?! no, no. crazy guys who run around in their pajamas get stitches! there’s one laying on your couch!! snitches get deals, you should know this!!” -foggy, very urgently slamming his hand in the other

going back to your dad like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “i did my best”

putting stickers where they dont belong (3D/puffy stickers for matt)

getting frequent calls from foggy when matt is late to work

“foggy, i’m at school! what??” -you

“did matt come home last night?” -foggy

“don’t know, i didn’t check” -you

“you didn’t check to see if your dad was still alive?!?” -foggy

“well, sorr-y, i was under the assumption he was a big boy who could take care of himself” -you

“well, he’s not!!!” -foggy

kinda being the awkward “middle man”/messenger for foggy and matt while they fight

“foggy asked me to ask you to…hold on” -you, uncrinkling paper “‘go fuck yourself, you selfish, blind asshole.’ okay, i was mistaken. it was not a question”

as stresses from the city, your dad, foggy, school, and then some really started setting in, your hardened, sheltered emotions started surfacing for the first time in a long time, shocking many

but matt was there to hold you when you cried

and foggy, too

and even karen. and she always asks about you when you’re not around.

when fisk was brought to justice (or so it seemed), celebration at the office was called for…and foggy snuck you some alcohol

“don’t tell your dad, you swear?” -foggy

“y/n, were you…drinking?” -matt, 5 mins later when karen left the room

“shit, i forgot about your freaky sense of smell” -you

“alright, kiddo, wrap it up. let’s get you home before ‘uncle foggy’ sneaks you anymore alcohol. shame on you, franklin” -matt

“i know, i’m the worst” -foggy

taglist: @alwaysananglophile // @locke-writes // @sweetheartlizzie07 // @queen-destenie // @johnmurphyisqueer // @captainshazamerica // @ravenmoore14 // @canarypoint // @procrastinatingsapphictrash // @lxncelot-recs // @swanimagines // @randomfandomimagine // @petersgroupie // @summersimmerus // @scarthefangirl // @bad4amficideas // @sheridans-dynamos // @simsrecs // @prettysbliss // @popeheywardssecretgf // @skdkdkckfk // @simp-legend // @zoeyserpentluck // @wild-rose-35 // @confessions-of-a-adhd-teen // @itachisdangos // @nekoannie-chan // @punk-rock-raven //

[headcanons-n-shit]

Because I can't get enough pining: FFXIV guys + Hien when they have to be apart from their SO for an extended period of time?

Im weak im weak im weak

Long distance (ff14 boys + Hien)

Thancred

It happens, more than he’d like. The Scions are few in number, they always have been, and there is always the call that pulls you in one direction, him in another. He takes it with good grace, really, always with a smile and a kiss on the forehead and never any promises.

He misses you, that much is obvious to anyone who knows him and/or travels with him. He misses you like a man misses a limb. He’s always looking towards the horizon, towards wherever he thinks you might be. He twists the linkshell between his fingers-- you’re often too far away, and he wouldn’t dare distract you when you might be doing something vital, something delicate, but. The temptation is always there. 

Urianger

The worst part is that he is so understanding about it all. The two of you have such vastly different skillsets, it is only logical that you go and he stay. You will go and shape the fates that he sees, he’ll tell you with a smile, like you don’t see the way his hands are folded so tight his knuckles turn white.

If he were to be honest, he would admit to you that he hates it. He hates it with a vehemence that he hates so few things, that you will go and he will stay. The cards provide little comfort, he is aware of just how quickly some fates can change, the future is a shapeless mass, unmolded clay, and while there may be inherent lines or plans drawn the final form of it will always be shrouded until the very moment it takes shape. And still he deals the cards for you every morning you spend away from him, divines your future every way he knows how, until it leads you back into his arms again.

G'raha

You’d think he’d handle this better at this point, honestly. He spent centuries without you, and he managed... fine. Sure, he got to watch you from afar and even shape some of the events, but this won’t be that different, right? What is a few months, to centuries spent longing in solitude?

And yet, he does not handle it very well at all. He’ll distract himself for an hour or so here or there, sunk in research or his own projects and quests, and then his mind will wander back to you and the ache of longing will return to his chest. His is the linkpearl that gets the most use-- if he can reach you, he will try, every night before bed. And even if he can’t, that won’t stop him from talking like he has, sometimes with the help of drink, to forget that the other side of the bed is empty and cold.

Estinien

It’s him who often leaves first, often in the pale light of the false dawn, leaving you with the empty impression of him in the bed next to you. It’s him who leaves, and it cleaves him in two every time. Sometimes he’ll leave you tokens, a broken arrowhead, a rough cord bracelet, one of his shirts. Something for you to remember him by while he’s gone. Something to give him an excuse to come back to you, to reclaim said token if nothing else. 

The bond between Azure Dragoons comforts him more than he’d like to admit. Him accompanied by Vrtra, and you by Midgardsormr, he can at least know that you yet live. Sometimes there is even the briefest flicker of... something, fourth-hand through the bond. Pain, most of the time, and joy, on occasion, though sometimes the longing in his chest feels redoubled and he wonders if you miss him as intensely as he misses you.

Aymeric

'Tis ultimately a matter of duty. He understands this. Respects it, even. That you wouldn’t ask that he abandon his duty for you, just as he wouldn’t ask that you abandon your duty for him. Besides, it’s not as though he doesn’t also have to go through this whole song and dance whenever Estinien visits and leaves-- at least you have the decency to wait for him to wake and give a proper goodbye, instead of escaping out the window before dawn.

He is very good at distracting himself. There is so much work to do, after all, he often times feels buried under it, and though you may cross his mind once or twice, whenever there is something that warrants it, ultimately he keeps you far from his thoughts lest the longing in his chest grow beyond his control. At least, until the evening, when all his work is done and the candles burn low, and he should be preparing for the morrow, really, or just going to sleep, but instead he procures a few sheets of good paper and writes you yet another letter he likely will never send.

Haurchefant

He does his best to give you a proper send-off, because of course he does. Complete with his arms around your waist, his lips on yours, the slow retreat that leaves trails of burning trails of warmth as he lets you go with as many of his blessings as you can carry. You are a couerl, he understands, or a wolf, or a bird of prey. You may deign yourself to being kept, for a time, but you will never be caged, and never should you be. 

And yet. He fantasizes, sometimes, guiltily, about finding a way to keep you by his side. Late at night, when he misses you beyond all reason, he wonders what it will take to make you stay by his side. To turn your indomitable focus from the world and worlds beyond to. Here. Camp Dragonhead, Ishgard, even just Eorzea, where you will never be more than a week’s ride or an Aetheryte travel away. He would never, of course. He would never deny you your duty, your nature. But sometimes, just sometimes, he turns a ring between his fingers and wonders.

Sidurgu

He always knew you weren’t destined to stay, but still. It’s hard on him and Rielle both. The nightmares always get worse for the few days after your leave. Rielle picks at her food. Sidurgu grows even more surly and silent to avoid snapping at his charge for what isn’t her fault.

But life goes on. Rielle has her conjury lessons. Sidurgu has what can almost be called a job, doing odd jobs and adventuring around Foundation. He keeps himself busy. He takes care of Rielle. But in the night, before he beds down to sleep, he puts out every candle and lets the fire burn down until it’s a barely-glowing bed of coals, folds his legs beneath him, and reaches. For the Abyss. For you. And it is painful, and a little scary, as it always is. But he can feel you, twined with Fray and with Myste, a solid pillar through the tumultuous sea that is the Abyss, and there is comfort to be found in that.

BONUS

Hien

It strikes him at the most senseless of times. In the middle of a meeting, and he will wonder, what would you say, were you here? Biting into something delicious, would you enjoy this? Walking down the street, the cherry blossoms in full bloom-- oh he would love to share this moment with you.

He takes to writing things down, long lists of moments he's wanted to share with you, to remember for the next time he sees you, complimented with dozens of little notes. He'll let you go through them to decide how you two are going to spend your short time together-- though sometimes you spend the whole time just going through the list, listening to him tell you the story behind each.

[iron-sides]

dsmp pantheon but for pjo au lets go

there is no like. ~king of the gods~ or wtv thats laaaame they are all just simply vibing

phil is like a wind god. he also is a bird king. listen hes a very powerful bird man he communes with the birds and has minor wind abilities. he has a secondary role as a god of death

-> phil doesnt really interact w mortals outside of like. because hes hanging out w techno lijkr4ed. also since techno's retired to to the camp he probably spends every other week w his wife

technoblade is a war god/the blood god this is a given. he runs the camp bc he's always been a protector of new soldiers and genuinely likes training young people. phil is there bc he follows techno around to carry the souls of those he kills to the afterlife. phil and techno are like. besties your honor, platonic life partners, whatever. him running the camp is retirement methinks

-> technoblade chooses mortal heroes that he blesses with the ability to hear the voices in battle and call upon the blood gods strength

phil's wife is the goddess of death. is she kristin, is the the samsung smart fridge, idk but shes married to phil. he comes to see her and brings her the souls of the dead as like a romantic gift, we know the deal

-> lady death has a soft spot for dead babies but shes not like. their mom? she doesnt really have kids or mortals that are "hers", shes not super interested in them. i think shes actually p cold and reserved, except to phil

drista is a trickster god, comes to earth and causes chaos until she is once again banished to the heavens- dionysus in pjo got grounded to camp half blood, drista gets grounded FROM camp half blood or whatever i end up calling the camp

-> drista picks out a mortal she likes and smacks them over the head in their early-ish childhood (before the age of ten) with her mark, thus labeling them as Hers. they may as well be a demigod at that point tbh shes technically their patron not their mom but the only difference is the dynamic lol

dristas older brother is dreamXD. i dont know anything about canon!dreamXD but im gonna make him a god of reality? bc as i understand it he comes to c!gnf in dreams or smth idk. hes probably the most powerful but idt he cares to be king of the gods- unless someone was claiming to be more powerful than him which theyre not dumb enough to do.

-> if gnf is a god, dxd never has mortal children, only blesses young adults and teens. if gnf isnt a god, dxd sometimes does blessings n sometimes has mortal children. his blessings work like how dristas do

foolish used to be a god of death before phil was, but when phil married the samsung smart fridge, he stepped down to become the god of life instead. he doesnt reign over births in any way, i think the ender dragon does that, but he like. u know. hes the totem of undying guy, ppl come to him when theyre trying to avoid death. or like, if theyre afraid someones gonna die- hes ya man

-> foolish fashions children out of clay ^^

herobrine is a god of destruction. you give up offerings to him to avoid, like, earthquakes n shit

-> herobrine curses ppl and then their kids are all herobrine descendants, inexplicably. i think there is almost definitely some kind of stigma? or smth? major downside. of being a herobrine kid bc of this.

gnf miiiight be a god of dreams or miight be the son of dreamXD i dont watch him so idk how/how much i wanna play into his and dreamXD's canon dynamic. ill have to watch some vods n talk to my datemates little sister and come back to it later

-> gnf does blessings if hes a god. his mortals have prophetic dreams :]

schlatt is a god of divine justice or punishment, he judges the dead and works w mumza to decide who gets what afterlife. i will not elaborate on why find the clip of wilbur reacting to the matpat video lij5rkefd

-> schlatt Has Kids

FUCK official minecraft lore the ender dragon is the benevolent ruler of the end in-game and here shes the god of like, birth/rebirth/life. bc her whole thing is that shes got this egg and shes protecting it.

-> the ender dragon fucks (love her so much)

lady prime is one of my favorites shes a god a wealth and of business endeavors of all kinds- genuine, scams, pyramid whatevers, if the aim is to get cash money in your pocket u should pray to her shell help u out if she likes u. very much a picker of favorites

-> lady prime Has Kids

the egg is here. its like a bad guy or smth doesnt have kids or anything but does possess ppl

@thenerdistrying pspspspsps give me ur takes

[alittlewhump]

Unbidden - Act 1, chapter 8

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Content warnings: death mention, possible minor body horror with regards to injury

It had been a fortnight since Andariel. Morgan was adjusting to his new reality, one where speaking much louder than a whisper for more than a few sentences made it feel like he'd been screaming his throat raw. Where pain was out of proportion to the damage that caused it. Where his left arm was all but useless. Although he felt well enough to get up and move around, the wound on his arm showed no signs of closing. An inky colouration had spread out from the puncture, extending up above his elbow and down to his wrist. It turned his stomach to look at it. Any remaining strength in the limb was negated by the pain that shot through it at the slightest jostle or pull. Akara's expertise in the healing arts was not sufficient to handle a wound like this, caused by a demon queen and determined to linger. She had offered her sympathies and a supply of bandages, which at least allowed him to bind the damned thing so he didn't have to see it. His own limited knowledge of medicine did not extend to this manner of injury either, so simply keeping it covered and clean seemed like the best option available.

Morgan had been spending most of his time and energy on meditation and geomancy. Physical pursuits were not very attractive at the moment, so instead he focused on improving his magic. He would need it more than ever now, given the state of his arm. Eventually he would return to the graveyard he'd marked, to check on the restless spirits there, but he wasn't yet well enough for that journey.

The ground around the encampment was largely untended, but the soil was good. Morgan had been using it to flex his magical abilities cautiously, not wanting them to suffer from disuse. He turned small patches at a time, shuffling the richer earth up toward the surface bit by bit, until eventually there was a respectable area prepared. Nobody had asked him to install a garden, but it felt like it might be a useful contribution. It also helped to ground him. He had often tended the gardens back home, and found now that he was missing that work.

Short forays into the surrounding fields were still within the scope of Morgan's ability. Over the course of about a week, he'd managed to successfully transplant a reasonable variety of usable plants. Comfrey, feverfew, yarrow, and chamomile had all been easy enough to spot, and each had at least one medicinal use. They also had the benefit of being reasonably hardy, taking root well in the freshly turned earth. He had also experimented a little with some preparations of other plants he'd found - an outcrop of sway grass by a small lake, some sage nestled in among a patch of bright trefoil, a little bark from the willow just outside the encampment - but despite following standard procedures for preparation, none of the resultant concoctions did anything to relieve the pain of his injury. He took some fruits from what looked like an oleaster, intending to dry them for another attempt in the future, but he kept his expectations low. If the wound wasn't going to heal properly, it stood to reason that the other effects would also linger.

Cain had been good company, stopping by often. He inquired about the garden as it was talking shape and seemed legitimately interested in the various applications of the plants filling it. Morgan took care not to speak at too much length on any one topic, endlessly interesting though they were. Equally fascinating were the tales Cain had to share in exchange. The story of Tristram had been a sobering one, between the king's corruption by Diablo and the destruction it had wrought. And it seemed that it was not yet concluded, given the hero-turned-dark-wanderer who had fled. It would be worth pursuing that tale to its conclusion; Morgan's original request had been duly fulfilled, but the evident threat to the Balance was more pressing than returning to the Necropolis.

He'd also been alternating between meditating on ways to improve his clay golems and creating small versions to test the changes he'd thought of. So far he had come up with a lot of failed designs, going too far to the extremes to test the boundaries. A build with above average mobility that would crumble in combat, a strong and sturdy make that could absorb a great deal of punishment but would be too slow to hit anything that wasn't standing still. Now it was time to rein it in, to tinker with proportions and the flow of magic through the construct until something better emerged. Morgan slipped easily into the in-between state, retreating into his mind while his body rested in a comfortable cross-legged position. A pleasant breeze ruffled the leaves of the tree he was leaning against. Today would be good for focusing on the smaller details. He lost himself for a time in the contemplation of his designs.

A crawling, prickling discomfort pulled him back into reality. The sun was getting low in the sky. Someone had put their hand on his shoulder, and they were speaking to him.

"- word I've said, have you?" It was Blaise, looking annoyed.

Morgan shifted away from her, and she let her hand fall. "I'm sorry," he said, "I didn't hear you. I was meditating." The rough sound of his voice was another thing he was still getting used to. He rubbed his throat gingerly. Should have thought to keep some water nearby.

"Of course you were. I said, I talked to Kashya and she's agreed to give you some training. If you're going to keep fighting monsters and demons, you'll need some help. With your swordplay. It's not very good."

She was right, of course. Now that he could no longer hold a shield, his sword would have to be defensive as well - and magic had always been his strength, not actual physical strength or coordination. He'd been planning to refocus himself entirely on the magical side of things, but this was undeniably a good idea even if he didn't relish the prospect of physical training. Any formal instruction in the use of a sword would be useful.

"When?"

"You're welcome. Whenever you're ready. As soon as tomorrow." Instead of turning to go, she sat next to him. He expected her to keep talking, but she didn't. Maybe she was working up to something. The silence stretched uncomfortably. She didn't like him, she'd often said as much - so why was she staying so near? He'd been doing his best to be avoidable, true to his word. She hadn't been taking advantage of it, instead crossing his path at least once a day. Probably some sort of sense of obligation. The Sisterhood had been treating him with a cautious, grudging respect since Andariel's defeat. It was... strange.

That reminded him of a question he'd been meaning to ask. Now seemed as good a time as any, so he turned to study her. "Blaise. Why did you tell everyone I killed Andariel?"

She startled visibly and raised a hand to shush him. "What the hell, Morgan," she hissed, "you can't just say-" she cut herself off, looking around furtively. Apparently satisfied that nobody was eavesdropping, she continued in hushed tones. "Look, if Akara and Kashya knew I killed that big ugly bitch, they'd never let me get away from this backwater. It's different for you. They're expecting you to go. And when you leave, I'm going with you. At least until I'm well away from here. This place... I'm not really cut out to be part of something like this."

"Ah." That explanation made enough sense. He hadn't realized she wanted to leave, but then he often didn't realize things about other people. Perhaps he'd misinterpreted her loyalty as fondness. There wasn't always a correlation there. She hadn't exactly been talkative during their time together - not to him, not about personal wishes and desires. It also explained the closeness; by spending time around him, she was putting on a front, laying the groundwork that would justify her departure. Satisfied, he turned away to look at the sky. It was starting to be tinged with pink, and it was lovely to see.

"How do you do it?" Now it was her turn to scrutinize him. She was staring intently at his face as though it was going to hold anything other than confusion. Do what? Had he slipped back into his thoughts and missed part of the conversation? "I mean, doesn't it bother you?" That clarified nothing. He stared blankly, and she huffed. "People don't like you. As a necromancer. I mean, we didn't exactly give you a warm welcome. But there's no way it's just us. Your kind are... well, hated."

Oh, that. It was just a fact. He'd come to accept it easily enough. People didn't usually take kindly to him even before they knew his particular area of specialization. He shrugged, wondering idly what had lead to the question. She didn't seem to like that response.

"It's normal," he offered.

"It's not normal! How could you think that's normal? How do you... live with it?" She gesticulated, as though the waving of her hands might clarify her meaning. It did not. How else would he live? He took a moment to search for the words to frame it.

"As followers of Rathma, we are driven by pursuit of the Balance. What others think of us is not important."

"Not im- Morgan, of course it's important! The way people treat you matters. You have to rely on other people all the time."

"I try not to."

Blaise pinched the bridge of her nose as though the conversation was giving her a headache. "Yeah, I know you do. But sometimes you don't have a choice. Like - there's no way you could have gone up against Andariel alone, she would have killed you in a second."

"Mm." While certainly true, it didn't change much. Alone, he would have been more cautious, planned better. Probably died anyway. Others would have come to take his place. His individual life only held value in the contribution it could make toward the Balance. Death came inevitably to all things; to die in service was at least honourable.

Blaise seemed agitated. "I don't think you understand - this is life and death stuff. For fuck's sake, you nearly did die! When-" she lowered her voice, which had risen in frustration. It shook a little. "When I brought you to Akara, she argued with me. She didn't want to waste her supplies on you. She was just going to let you die on her doorstep, because she doesn't like you. That's not normal. You can't just think that's okay."

It certainly wasn't extraordinary. That was why necromancers generally brewed their own potions, not that he'd had either the time or the forethought to reach for his own during the encounter. He started to shrug again. Akara had been pleasant enough since - oh. All the pieces came together suddenly, but the picture they formed didn't quite make sense. Blaise had lied to save him. She'd decided, probably on an impulse, out of desperation, to frame him as the hero because the healer wasn't going to touch him otherwise. She had wanted him to live, and had sacrificed her own part in the story to ensure his survival.

Of course, that type of instinctively selfless behaviour was part of the reason he'd decided she was a genuinely good person. But having that kindness extended to him - that was new. He didn't quite know what to make of it. People weren't kind to him, as a rule. That was familiar, at least, predictable. It didn't feel like he'd done anything to earn this special treatment. He'd have to tread carefully.

"It's what I'm used to," he said quietly. "Death comes to all things. We do not expect others to delay it for us. But you... are extraordinary." It didn't really feel adequate, but he would need some time to process this new information, and the moment would be long past by then. "Thank you," he added. That also felt shallow. He had no reference to draw from - what was the appropriate way to convey this tangle of feelings? Indebtedness, surprise, gratitude, admiration, and those were just the aspects he had names for. He purposely held her gaze for a moment, hoping she would be able to glean something from that since his words weren't doing the job.

Blaise opened her mouth as if to say something, then closed it again. Instead, she stood and stretched. "I bet you haven't even eaten today. Come on, Charsi made these beautiful rabbit pies. You have to try them." She extended her hand toward him. He didn't especially want to join a communal meal, but it would be rude to refuse such a rare offer. And he had, in fact, neglected to eat. He took her hand to pull himself up. Tomorrow he would attempt to train with Kashya, but right now he wouldn't worry about it.

[foryouthegays]

summary of ‘nothing bad ever happens at festivals. [Dream SMP]’

live commentary comin out in a minute or so!!! 

Techno starts the stream making Invis potions, and talks to Phil. Phil lends Techno his riptide trident. Phil tells Techno that he’s going to build a farm, and they talk for a few minutes before Tommy joins and they talk about discs. 

Technoblade gives Tommy potions, and the Axe of Peace. Phil leaves the VC, and TnT finally start rowing towards the festival, and talk about their plan. They agree to try and get the discs back, and destroy L’manburg at the first chance possible. However, they start arguing when Techno says that if there’s a chance, they will kill Tubbo. Tommy freaks out, and says that they’re getting the disc off of Dream, and to not kill Tubbo. 

Techno reveals that he isn’t against Dream, and is instead against the government. They reach land, and find a strange structure, and Techno observes that it looks like a prison. They continue walking, and end up at Tommy’s vacation home.  After taking their hats off for Henry, Tommy finds signs that read, ‘My parents named me after a Minecraft Block so I griefed you,’ and another that said ‘sighed - Clay :) (that is why the blocks are clay)’

Tommy goes inside and doesn’t see any griefing, so they keep moving to L’Manburg. While Tommy watches from the Bee Sanctuary, Techno gets closer to the festival and tries to find Ranboo. Ranboo takes them to a cave, and talks about the games, the meaning of the festival, and who’s coming. He mentions that Dream will be respecting the laws of L’Manburg, and Tommy remembers that one of the original laws was that no one is allowed to wear armor, and if Dream is respecting the laws, he would be vulnerable to attack. 

While exploring and trying to find a place to watch, Techno spots Dream and runs to hide. He watches as Dream places obsidian and they find a good spot to observe the festival. They join the VC and find Dream getting confronted by Tubbo, Fundy, Ranboo, and others. Dream says that Tommy fucked up, and takes them to the Community house. They find it blown up, fully destroyed. Techno yells at Tommy in chat, and Tommy denies any involvement in its destruction. 

Dream continues yelling about Tommy, saying that the house is the oldest building on the server, and that everything is Tommys’ fault. He finally calms down and starts talking about a plan. He says that Tommy has to pay for his actions, and goes back to the historical and cultural significance of the building. 

Techno and Tommy are still talking in chat. Techno says that this was bad, and that the entire server will unify against Tommy, and that they’d have to do a 50v2, which implies that Techno will stand with Tommy. 

Dream comes back around to the Discs, saying that he needs both discs to keep Tommy under control. Quackity, and a few others, start talking about how it isn’t their fault, and they shouldn’t be walled in because Dream couldn’t keep Tommy in exile. Dream continues trying to get Tubbo to give him the disc, saying that the servers conflict will never be resolved if Tommy thinks he can get his discs back. 

(00:40:40) Tommy reveals himself, and Techno follows soon after. He defends Tommy, saying, “Tommy wouldn’t lie to me, ok? He said he didn’t do it, he wouldn’t lie to me.” 

Dream interrupts, “he- he lied about burning down George’s house!”

“He wouldn’t lie to ME, Dream. He’d lie to you, but he wouldn’t lie to me!” 

Dream and Techno continue arguing, and Tubbo finally steps up and almost takes out the disc to give to Dream. Tommy punches him, and they start fighting. Tubbo tells Tommy that he’s untrustworthy, and that their friendship might not be a recoverable thing anymore. Tommy tries to explain what happened, tries to tell Tubbo how he was treated and how betrayed he felt when Tubbo didn’t visit him, but Tubbo doesn’t seem to care. Tubbo yells at Tommy, telling him that everything comes back to him, and not in a good way. 

Their arguing continues, and their trust in each other, and their friendship, shatters as everyone watches. They talk of betrayal, and lies, and eventually start fighting. 

Techno advises against fighting, but lets Tommy make his own choice. When Tommy starts the fight, Techno splashes potions on himself and starts to fight the people surrounding them. Tommy tells Tubbo that the discs were worth more than Tubbo, and Tubbo gives Dream the disc, at Tommys request. 

Tommy tells Techno he’s sorry, and joins Tubbo and L’manburg. Techno yells at Tommy, saying that just because he said Tommy didn’t have to help take down L’Manburg, that didn’t mean Tommy could switch sides and betray him. 

Techno tells Tommy to think about his decision, and Tommy decides to stay with L’Manburg. Betrayed, Techno looks around, and resorts to his last true ally: violence. He asks everyone who wants to go first, and Dream interrupts him. Dream calls Tubbo an idiot, saying that he isn’t a president, and that Quackity is more presidential than he is. He continues, and Techno encourages Dream, occasionally adding on to his bullying. 

And then, Dream says the one thing that brought Techno onto his side: “you just gave me the ONE THING I needed to destroy L’manburg.” 

In chat, Techno thinks about this. He tells us, ‘im liking where this is going,’ and you can tell that his alignment is fitting perfectly into Dreams speech. 

Dream continues berating Tubbos role as president, and reveals that Ranboo is a traitor. He shows Tubbo the book, and Techno denies that Ranboo corresponded with him at all. 

Dream goes back to yelling at Tubbo, and this time, Techno joins in much more often. 

Dream turns to Techno. “Techno. Got any Withers?”

Techno smiles as he agrees, and Dream and Techno ally together.

the crowd around them begs for mercy, but it’s been decided. Without even calling in a favor, Dream and Techno ally to destroy L’Manburg. Dream tells Tubbo and Tommy that at 3 PM tomorrow, L’Manburg was going to be destroyed. 

Dream leaves, and Techno is left to deal with the group himself. They start trying to fight him, but he manages to calm them down, and starts to talk to Tommy. 

00:52:30.

“Tommy. Give me back my axe. You’re not worthy, I was wrong.”

“...no. No! You know what, Technoblade? I am worthy. And you’re not- you’re not gonna side with Dream to take down L’Manburg, are you.”

“I- I’ve been so transparent about how I’m going to destroy the government, I’ve explained my reasons, like, I’m destroying it because of a, b, c, they executed me, they betrayed me, you betrayed me... you know what, Tommy? You’ve made a decision today that can’t be undone, and you know what? I respect you, Tommy. You’re free to make your own choices, wrong as they are, that’s what anarchy is about. It’s about freedom, to do what you want. But all I have to say, Tommy, is that I hope you don’t come to regret it.”

Techno leaves. He pearls to the portal, and runs home, wondering how to contact Dream. He finds Phil at home, and updates him on the situation. Dream finds them, and they talk about their plans. Dream wants to duplicate TNT, and asks if Techno has withers. He gets the stone button, and they walk to the Vault together. 

He opens the vault, and there’s only enough for six withers. Dream is impressed, but why is Techno hiding his true stash of skulls? Techno opens his ender chest and shows off the rest to the viewers, two stacks and seventeen, but doesn’t tell or show Dream. 

They talk, and Techno says that he’s confident that they can fight the server. He says that Dream’ll destroy everything, and he’ll hold off everyone else. Dream says that he has another part to the plan, that guaruntees their victory, but he can’t tell Techno until tomorrow. Techno once again shows the audience the hidden skulls.

Techno shows Dream the Vaults redstone, and then Dream leaves. Phil and Techno continue talking, and Techno remembers that Tommy knows about the wolf army and all of his plans. Phil realizes that Tommy switched sides, and Techno starts ranting about how Tommy took his axe. 

at around 01:03:00, Ghostbur joins the call, and things get a lot less tense. Techno and Phil shelter him from the knowledge of the wars going on.  Ghostbur reveals that he has canonical access to twitch and youtube (he’s able to see through their eyes, meaning he’s watching their streams), and the group laughs at the implications of that. 

Techno mocks Tommy for switching sides, saying, ‘oh, i haven’t been betrayed by these government guys enough, I’m going to switch sides, take Technos axe, totally betray the one guy who stood by me, because I am a fooliSH CHILD.’ Techno then tells Phil that he’s his only friend, because Phil doesn’t betray him. 

Techno decides to go back to L’Manburg and get his wolves, fearing someone finding and taking, or killing, them. Phil joins him, and Techno reveals to Phil that he hid most of the skulls, and that he doesn’t trust Dream. 

He then starts talking about how he can’t even trust trust alone anymore, and that he has to have a common interest with the person. Phil agrees, and stands by his decision to destroy L’Manburg. 

Phil sees the bombed community house, and Techno reveals that most people think it was Tommy who bombed it. Ghostbur asks if he’s ok, and Techno says he’s fine. 

While in the sewers, Techno and Phil see a ton of nametags and go quicker, and Techno starts realizing what a huge task he’s going to be a part of in destroying L’Manburg. He lists who he’s going to be against, and ghostbur inserts his name, because he thinks Techno is just listing names. 

Phil finally gets to see Techno’s Wolf Army, and he’s impressed. Techno starts moving all the dogs, and once again he starts making fun of Tommy. 

Techno shows Phil another area of the Wolf Army, which the viewers hadn’t seen before. He sits all the wolves down and tells us to not snitch on the location of the wolves. 

Right after Techno brought the last dog to the cave, Fundy spots him. 

Techno pauses, and sends the message, ‘Run.’ in chat. He chases after Fundy, and kills him. They run, and Techno sends a totally effective diversion in chat, telling everyone that he just saw Techno at Pogtopia. 

Eret spots them, and they finally make it to the nether just before Eret can catch up. 

They almost get caught by Jack Manifold, but he doesn’t see them before they make it through the portal. Once back home, they use the sellout bell, and then Techno ends the stream.

[lxgatus]

Pros / Cons of Dating My Muse

Name: Wahisietel / Ali the Wise Species: Mahjarrat Sexuality: Pansexual? Gender doesn’t really matter to him

PROS:

He’s crazy strong and pretty damn handy. His body is basically a swiss-army knife of sharp claws, flexible ridges, natural glow etc. Need a hand fixing your car? Can’t find the jack to lift it? Just get Wahi to pick it up for you, he doesn’t mind. 

Studies show that being around Wahi makes you at least 15% smarter in the long-term. The man is a living breathing encyclopedia. You don’t live ten thousand years without learning a few things. 

On that note, he has very good memory. He won’t forget things that are important to you. Did you forget you have a dentist appointment on Friday? He didn’t. 

He’s very easy to please and doesn’t ask for much. He doesn’t need a lot, so he’s easy to gift for. It could be something silly or mundane and he’ll love it, because chances are it didn’t exist on Gielinor.  

His fascination with humans has left him a pretty doting boyfriend and despite his own species’ limited emotion, he’s pretty in-tune with others even if he doesn’t fully understand. He might not get WHY you’re upset but he’ll take care of you and make you feel better. 

A VERY good cuddler. Don’t be put off by the ridges and spikes. His body is warm and his skin is the same texture of a well-worn leather jacket. He’s surprisingly soft. Also he makes some really soothing noises. Like the sound of a cat purring? How would you like that, but LOUDER? 

You don’t have to worry about people harassing you while he’s around. Even in human skin, there’s something really unsettling about the way that chubby middle-aged man is glaring. There’s a reason why most animals fear Mahjarrat and don’t forget, humans are animals too. He can really pry into that primal fight or flight. 

CONS:

His kindness borders on patronizing. Mahjarrat were some of the strongest creatures to walk Gielinor and they’re all aware of how powerful they are. Even if his affection is genuine, it contains a lot of ‘human small and weak’ so he must look after and protect. No, don’t go out and fight. You could hurt yourself. Stay and rest, let the big strong Mahjarrat keep you safe from harm. 

He most naturally expresses his affection in a really weird animal way. He WILL lick your face and head, he will lightly headbutt you (though it may knock you over) and he may nip you. He makes really scary noises and Mahjarrat body language can be easily misread as ‘im going to maul you to death’ instead of ‘im happy to see you’. Their native language had a lot of body gestures so don’t be surprised if he says he loves you by acting like he’s about to chomp down on your jugular or get real close to your face and snarl. See that left ear twitch? Thats a HAPPY snarl. 

He’s stubborn as an ox. He prides himself in being adaptable and while that may be the case, just because he IS doesn’t mean he WILL. He’s very set in his ways, good luck getting him to change his schedule.

He is a very patient man, but at the end of that fuse is a nuclear bomb. His anger is rare and incredibly scary. Also, because he retains so much information, he will remember every jab, every comment. He will hold that grudge, and he knows dangerous people. His baby bro murdered a GOD, do not fuck with him. 

He smokes. A LOT. Not just tobacco either. Weed, opium...god knows whatever that hallucinogenic stuff is in that clay pot in his living room.  He owns like three hookahs. This man smokes more than most people eat. Thankfully he can control smoke and generally keeps the place smoke-free, but there is a lingering smell. He also drinks himself to the point of almost drowning. So there’s that. 

Sex is rough and will generally be uncomfortable for most who aren’t equipped to deal with Mahjarrat anatomy. There will be biting, there will probably be tearing. Unless he bottoms. 

He has a very logical way of thinking, and can come across as blunt or a little insensitive at times. He’s aware of people’s emotions but he doesn’t really...understand them? It’s why he tries to be so doting, because its easier to express feeling physically. Words can and will fail especially if one grew up in a society that didn’t really care about each other. He really does try but don’t expect an emotional response to a problem. He just doesn’t really understand the emotional nuance as much as he thinks he does. 

Tagged by: @guthixblessed thank you! Tagging: If you havent done this, do and say I tagged you

[bl--ankhaeji]

It all started with a washer(Taeyong)

Pairing - Fashion Design student*TaeyongXCeramics student*Reader

Genre - fluff, slight angst (if you blink it’s gone), slight enemies to lovers(again blink and you miss it), friends to lover, college au, tutor*Taeyong 

Warning/AN - learning disabilities and mentions of shitty parenting, also really abrupt ending cause I had no idea how to end so im sorreh (unedited not like any of my shit is though)

W.Count - 2253

The way you met Taeyong was pretty hectic 

It was 2 a.m. and you both were in the laundry room on the 4th floor of the apartment building

Surprisingly you two weren’t the only ones who needed a late night laundry run

That shit was PACKED 

Well as packed as a laundry room that only has three washers and three dryers can get 

You had to wait in a short line to be able to even get a washer even though all you had to wash were your clothes from the previous week

You had just enough washing powder left to wash the little clothes you had 

You really just wanted to do your laundry go back to your room open a bottle of cheap wine and drink away the pain you had from your Chemistry exam that you’re pretty sure you failed earlier that day or should you say yesterday

*Le Gasp* Finally a washer is open 

You rush to get there before it’s taken only to make there at the same time as some boy

You both immediately turn toward each other to look at the person who dared to steal the washer you so rightfully deserve

“This washer’s mine” 

“This is my washer” 

You both managed to say at the same time only to pull equally incredulous looks at each other

“I got here first” You both exclaim at the same time and that was like the spark that lit the fire

Not the love fire but like a hate fire lol

A stared down like no other between you two fighting for the washer soon commenced and it looked like neither of you were backing down

You both stood there and glared at each other’s face until a whole new washer became open 

The boy saw it and walked to go to that one instead of the one being stolen from him by some girl who looked about as ruff as his scalp is 

Please pray for TaeTae’s scalp...ok

Only for the washer to get taken by some kid 

His only choice was to go back to his old washer 

Once you saw the boy coming back you immediately closed the lid on the washer and turned to look at him with a humph 

“Too late this washer’s taken by its rightful owner”

If that didn’t irk him in the worst way then nothing did 

That slightly reminded him of his little brother’s annoying friend, what's his name...Doeyuck…

“Look ok I just need to wash my clothes so that I can go to my room and splurge on the possibly life threatening amount of sweets I just bought as a reward for passing my Chemistry exam. Can you please just let me share the washer with you?”

You started to consider letting him use the washer with you then you realize what he said….HE HAS SWEETS and he passed the chemistry exam, but HE HAS SWEETS 

“Ok, I’ll let you use it but only if I get to have my pick at two sweets or if it’s candy then one handful. Do we have a deal?” 

You could see the pout form on his lips only be offset by a slow nod of agreement to which you rejoiced with a quick Yes and opened the lid 

When the clothes finished you both realized that meant that you would also have to share a dryer to which you both looked at each other and raised your shoulders

Even though you both still weren’t on the best of terms you still tolerated each other for the sake of your clothing

Later that night after you have taken your pick of treats from the boy whose name you still didn’t know you retreated to you couch with your wine bottle in one hand and the tv remote in the other 

When it’s the next week and you’re in your Chemistry class your teacher passes out the tests 

To which you can see and confirm that you indeed did fail it

BADLY 

Your teacher asks you to stay back once class is over to discuss something with you 

She recommends you a tutor by the name of Lee Taeyong 

Says he has the highest grades in her class

At first you decline until she tells you that you might not be able to pass this semester if you don’t get help 

You begrudgingly agree to meet this tAeYoNg tomorrow in the upstairs private library room

The dreaded meetup is finally here and you walk into the room with anxiety threatening to bubble over to see 

“WASHER STEALING SWEETS BOY” 

You walk over to the startled boy and see that he has irritation written all over his face “Please don’t tell my you’re the girl I’m tutoring”

“Yup That’s Me”

He starts to regret his life choices and wonder ‘Why Me’ 

He gets started on the tutoring only to realize that you...really don't know anything 

If your lost look said anything 

“Do you even pay attention at all in class” 

“I mean I do but its it just it...I don’t know. This is stupid. I’m stupid. I don’t know why I agreed to this tutoring bullshit. I don’t need help.”

You hastily get up and leave feeling as if you just made a fool of yourself 

You walk into your apartment with fresh clay you just got from your class and go into your safe place

Your home pottery room

Preparing your space and getting everything ready you press play on your music, wet your hands, and start moulding the clay 

You’re pretty deep into what you’re doing to the point where you don’t hear the banging on your door 

Once you do it startles you and you almost mess up your creation 

You wash your hands and go to answer the door to see Taeyong 

He’s staring at you like something is wrong and you look down to see that you’re covered in both dry and wet clay 

“What do you want?”

“I’m here to ask why you walked out like that.” He says with a pretty serious look on his face 

“I already said it. I don’t need help, I can pass the class on my own.” 

He holds up your most recent test only to spread his fingers out and it's every test you've taken and you either failed it or were pretty close, “Does this look like you don’t need help.”

“You can’t help someone stupid Taeyong.”

With annoyance splayed on his face he steps into the apartment and sits his stuff on the couch

“Why do you think that?”

“Cause I am, now can you please leave I was doing something.”

He refuses to leave until you explain to him 

You think ‘Fuck It’ and you start to tell him 

You major in ceramics but there’s a special love for pottery 

It helps to calm your mind...you love it..you’re amazing at it  

But that was never enough for your parents who ridiculed and criticized you every chance they got 

You have both dyslexia and dyscalculia 

Your parents who were both renowned scientists couldn't believe they managed to birth a stupid baby 

The only way you were able to get into university was because of ceramics but your parents didn't care

To them you were still dumb no matter what

“So that’s why I’m stupid. There’s no use in trying to teach me, you would be wasting your time”

You looked to Taeyong thinking you would see a disgusted face but you only saw one of sympathy and determination

“I’ve taught someone with dyslexia before but not dyscalculia. I will not leave you behind because y/n you’re not stupid. Regardless of what your parents and others have told you.”

After that you didn't see him for a few days and then one night when you were about to head to bed 

BAMM 

There he was at your door looking like a lunatic 

“I’ve got it.”

After that you and TaeTae(that’s what you call him now) spent every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and sometimes Sunday together

And to say that spending that much time together didn’t have an affect on how you felt about each other would be a fucking lie 

Soon you started to anticipate the days you got to study with him or the time you two would pass each other in the halls 

It would make you feel giddy inside 

Like you were in a shaken up pop can and when you would see him you would combust

But would you ever tell him that. Fuck No  

Sometimes the studying would either take place at his or your apartment 

To say that after study sessions you wouldn’t sit and watch movies the rest of the night and slick(not slick) cuddle would also be a lie 

It’s to the point where you have clothes at each other’s house

You also may or may not have a key to each other’s apartment

Even though you both still irked the fuck out of each other sometimes this tutor and tutoree realtionship had transformed into somethin beautiful

It was getting close to your next Chemistry exam and you were stressing 

Soon enough you had two days to go and you were TERRIFIED 

Taeyong kept trying to tell you that you were gonna do fine but you didn’t believe him 

Your fears were coming back full force 

You had been doing good turning in little side assignments with no problem but this is your first test since tutoring and 

You really didn’t wanna let TaeTae down

“You won’t let me down. I promise”

“You don’t know that. Like I don’t know, I can know everything on there but when it’s in front of my face I just….blank and everything gets jumbled and I get confused and I just give up.”

“Look if you take the test and pass...I have a surprise for you, ok?”

“What surprise?” 

He just gets up and walks out of the apartment

It’s like the two days just flew by and next thing you know the test is right in front of you and you’re looking at it and 

YOU UNDERSTAND 

Even though you’re one of the last to finish you probably feel the most confident 

When you and Tae meet up the day after you guys are chillin in his apartment eating the food you just got delivered 

“Sooo since I'm close with our Chemistry teacher she let me see the grades before she put them out.”

“Really??!! What’d I make?”

“I’m sorry to tell you this…”

Taeyong was gonna pull a trick on you but seeing your face fall and the tears build up he couldn’t go through with it 

“Noo I’m just playing please don’t cry. You passed, you passed I promise.”

When you hear those words you immediately start to beat his ass..literally you start to spank him 

“Why would you do that to me. Do you know how sad I got, I almost cried!!”

He kept trying to apologize but you kept hitting him so he did something to stop you

He kissed you 

The feeling of Taeyong’s lips on yours was euphoric 

Even with the taste of the takeout on his lips his kiss was still intoxicating 

Luckily he pulled back before you could slip too far 

You unknowingly chased after his lips after he pulled away, wanting more

“I didn’t plan on saying it this way but yea that was the surprise. I like you y/n. I like you a lot.”

You took a good look at Taeyong’s face to see an unnoticeable blush spread across his cheeks

Que the Fangirl 

“AHHH you’re so cuteeee. I can finally say that now without feeling like I’ll make things awkward.”

Also que confused Tae 

“Wait so you like me too?”

Uhh duh 

So I was gonna stop here butttttt Why don’t I give yall a lil more fluff shall we 

Immediately start dating after the confession 

Istg you guys are the cutests little shits ever 

It’s disgusting 

Study dates [check]

Cuddle buddies[check] 

Hella pottery dates[FUCKIN CHECK]

You and Tae already stay up all hours of the damn night so why not teach him how to mould a little 

“Oooo are you gonna do the little backhug hand guiding thing they do in the movies.”*insert winky face* 

You do the making he does the designing 

Did I mention that he’s a fashion design major 

Him and his best friend Johnny revamp your entire wardrobe because and I quote ‘As the top fashion design student I will not be caught dead letting my girlfriend walk around looking anything less than Fabulous’ and ‘Who says you’re the top student but anyways you didn’t pass Johnny’s Fashion Evaluation...not my problem’

Oh and better believe he has the couples outfits on LOCK

“This passes the Evaluation”

He makes little cup holders and coasters for the cups you make

For your first christmas together Tae makes you a ceramic necklace with the date you guys started dating thanks to the help from your best friend Yuta who specializes in metal ceramics 

You knit him a scarf out of you guys favorite colors 

The blush you made cross his face when you wrapped it around his neck and used it to pull him into a kiss was totally worth the plenty times you caught a hand cramp trying to make that scarf 

“We’re under the mistletoe.” *insert smirky y/n*

AHHHH I can’t deal 

But yea that’s it for you and TaeTae’s relationship 

[mothmansfriend]

when i’m happy oh god i’m happy

TW: alcohol abuse, non-graphic sexual content, unhealthy coping mechanisms, self harm (in many forms), drug use, couchsurfing, mentions of delusions and paranoia, otherwise reckless behaviour

Note: this takes place in @illogicallyinclined’s hockey au and is a Prequel this is supposed to represent what Remus’s manic episodes look like everyone is different, but im using a mix of my own experiences with bipolar i and some friends who were willing to talk about theirs, then changing it to fit Remus’s existing Absolutely Feral personality, Jared and Payton are OC’s and teammates of Remus, the three of them are known for wrecking havoc at all times because none of them possess a braincell.

The art studio was empty, filled only by the assorted music of Remus’s sculpting playlist on the bluetooth speaker he brought in, and Remus himself. His hands glide through the wet clay and he basks in the slimy feeling between his fingers. Remus’s hair is held back by a small headband and he is wearing a tank top and jogging pants already covered in various mediums he has used through the day. He does not know where the energy to finish every project for this semester came from but he isn’t about to object.

If you were to look around this studio, there is a high contrast painting of a tentacle creature that is unsettling in an almost unidentifiable way, half of a self-portrait which uses resin teeth as the main element, as well as his current project of a large cup shaped like a decapitated head. In short, while Remus believes these are his best pieces, the chances of the university permitting them to be displayed are very low.

Remus gets frustrated that the music didn’t seem to be filling his inspiration in the way he hoped he changes the song revealing it to be approximately 4am, and no texts received since he sent D a picture if the teeth pile around 10pm.

—

“Can you go wake Remus up and ask if he wants any breakfast, he really shouldn’t sleep in this late, even if it is Saturday” D asks from the stove while Roman grabs his carton of milk from the fridge and doesn’t bother grabbing a cup.

D grimaces at him as he chugs back the milk, once again thankful that they have separate ones (even if that is at fault of Remus deciding to mix apple juice with milk in the carton without alerting anyone else in the household). “He actually headed out like, real early this morning, I spoke to him when I got up for a shower at like six. He said he’d be back today though?” Roman replied ignoring D’s look.

“Well, that’s even weirder. I’ll make extras so he can eat when he gets back, it's already eleven.”

“Sounds good,” Roman noticing D’s almost done slides a few plates next to him and accepts D’s soft ‘thanks’.

Suddenly they hear someone miss the keyhole three times before getting it and entering. Unsurprisingly, it’s Remus inappropriately dressed for a casual outing, surprisingly he seems to be holding several bags full of merchandise. “Helloo roommates! Look what I bought!” Remus shouts, slamming the door with his foot and bringing his bags to the couch.

“Are those... cups?” D asks turning off the stovetop to curiously check out Remus’s merch load.

“Hell yeah they are! I figured since you-” He pokes at D, “Took away all our glass cups after me and Roman went to that last party, I would take it upon myself to replace them. Look!” Remus proudly pulls the ugliest Jar Jar Binks cup out of one of the bags.

Roman visibly recoils as his brother parades the worst cup he’s ever seen around their apartment. D rolls his eyes but collects the cup and hesitantly places it into the dishwasher. “Thank you, Remus, these cups are horrid but they’re functional, which, I guess is good enough. Though, how much did these cost?”

“No idea, probably around sixty bucks total though, maybe. I went to three different thrift stores. Look at this one!” Remus holds up a vaguely terrifying cup that seems like it may have once resembled Spongebob Squarepants to Roman.

“That’s��� Great, Remus, thanks” Roman says taking the offered item.

—

The three make it to practice 20 minutes early because Roman likes to prove he’s dedicated and a good captain. Coach Thomas and Joan greet them and Thomas talks to Roman briefly as Joan finishes setting things up. D and Remus do some stretches as others begin to show up, D comments on Remus being shaky and Remus hops around quickly explaining that he just woke up with a lot of energy for some reason.

Coach Thomas reminds Remus to take his time during practices speeding through everything doesn’t work if he keeps messing up before he even makes it halfway through.

—

D is going to kill Remus tomorrow morning. The repetitive sound of the bedframe slamming against their shared wall, and Remus wailing like a cat in heat at 1am is not something he wants to deal with right now. It’s a Tuesday night and D knows Remus has a class at 11am, one that D will not let him skip because he decided getting laid was more important. How does Remus even get a man to willingly enter that nightmare of a room? D rummages through his bedside table for ear plugs and regrets giving Roman the far room so easily.

—

“Jesus- Hello? Do you know what time it is?” The tired voice answers the phone after the third time of going to voicemail.

“Of course I don’t, Jared, I’m not a fucking nerd! I just thought I might extend my offer of filling the fountain in the middle of campus with bubble bath and a swim to you and Payton! D already said if I woke him up he would cut my dick off and feed it to his snake,” Remus audibly pouted at the end of his sentence.

Despite it being three am, it didn’t take a lot for Jared to wake up Payton and agree to meet him just off campus to run to the 24/7 convenience store for soap for the fountain. Remus leads the group in talking a mile a minute about something that Jared and Payton actually missed out on entirely. They try to contribute but realize Remus doesn’t notice when they have their own conversation anyways. They listen to him vaguely flit through topic after topic and get lost and confused in his own sentences, and once the soap is collected, they head to the large fountain in the middle of campus.

The fifth bottle of soap has been discarded and the fountain is sufficiently bubbly by the time the three hockey players strip to their boxers and begin their bath. There are attempted drownings, bubble beards, and the fountain change being thrown around.

At some point Remus stops talking for a second, observing the lithium bulbs through the fountain streams and bubbles floating across the courtyard. For a moment, he thinks he’s never been this happy in his life, these last few days have been the best days of his life. He lets Jared and Payton know this and like stare at him for a moment before teasing him about going soft and a few “I love you, bro” “Dude, you mean so much to me” and such were exchanged. They leave moments before campus security’s due to do their rounds in the early morning and laugh when about an hour later they receive a campus-wide notification to avoid the courtyard for repairs.

—

Remus spends most of practice being more annoying than usual. He gets a bit more of a stern talking to than he has in a while, in response says that he’ll try to do better to prepare for the game this weekend.

—

He did not succeed and got an even sterner talking to by Coach Thomas and Joan, and then by Roman separately.

—

Remus has a brief moment of clarity regarding his spending habits from the last week and a half in the middle of his current project. His solution is instead of buying the club size container of hot sauce, he makes a trip to the Taco Bell off campus. After dropping off the rest of his goods at the apartment, it was pretty late in the evening and he was dressed in nothing but neon green basketball shorts, slides, and a pretty badly stained grey tank top. Thankfully, Florida weather permitted this, though the looks he had been receiving all day disagreed. It likely did not help that if prompted, Remus wasn’t 100% on the last time that he slept, but if he had to guess it was two or three days ago, but that was probably a maximum of five hours. Surprisingly, he had never felt so good in his life. He’s also pretty sure he’s said that a lot this week.

He leaves Taco Bell with a small meal bag full of hot sauce at no cost.

—

D doesn’t ask any questions when he uses the bathroom in the early morning and is met with the sight of Remus in the bathtub. He is covered in a large variety of substances. The floor is covered in Taco Bell hot sauce wrappers, there’s a box full of water balloons of various colours and sizes. Remus waves with his available hand before he resumes filling the current water balloon with what may be a bulk container of banana lube. D pisses, not bothering to ask Remus to leave and just pulls the shower curtain over a little before washing his hands and deciding to figure it out tomorrow.

The next day, D woke up around 10am to a few texts saying some prick is throwing weird water balloons at first years off this academic building on campus. D didn’t think much about it until he was leaving his 12:30 lecture walking past splatters of mayo, egg, egg shells, hot sauce, and more, all separately. While observing the damage he found Remus asleep on some grass outside said academic building and had to call Logan for help to get him home. The two are used to this by now and D reminds himself to tell Remus to clear his ‘great ideas’ with someone containing a braincell.

—

Remus spends a good majority of his day listening to one song in the living room of the shared apartment. He was there when D left for classes, he was there when Roman left a little later in the day, failing to go to his own classes at all that day. The second D returns for lunch Remus is trying to explain a hidden meaning in the song, D brushes it off and reminds Remus, that to pass his classes he has to at least go.

—

This is Remus’s third night out in an area of town he really doesn’t know. He went home yesterday for early practice before coming back out. He knows it didn’t go well.

In attempts to make himself feel better, he blew a guy who’s name he already forgot but was hot as hell, he lost count of the shots he’s done, but at least there’s no practice tomorrow. He doesn’t have to worry about when he goes home, doesn’t have to worry about Roman or D and their weird concerned looks. He’s doing great! Why are they concerned, they just don’t get it.

At 2 am everyone gets kicked out of the club. Remus walks six blocks with his new friends with the promise of couch space to crash on and additional alcohol.

It’s suddenly 4:47 am and Remus is the only one awake and all the booze is gone. He is sitting under lithium streetlights smoking a cigarette on the porch of a strangers house with the humid Florida wind enables him to sit comfortably without a jacket. There is a moment, with sirens in the distance that Remus lets his eyes go out of focus. For the first time in who knows how long, he feels present. There is cracked cement under his feet, a dog barking a few houses down, and he wonders why he’s even here. The hidden Prince twin, here, in a city he has only been to once for a tournament, in a stranger’s house, drunk off his ass, his phone dead. He takes time to wonder, is this fun to him? It has to be right? Why did he just leave without telling anyone? Spending nights on the streets, or finding someone to go home with just so he didn’t have to find somewhere else to sleep. Is this who he is now?

He doesn’t know if he can answer that. Remus shakes himself before putting out his cigarette on his arm and deciding it doesn’t matter.

He still doesn’t sleep that night, but plugs in his phone and decides he needs to go home soon.

—

This is a different club than the previous night, someone sold Remus a few pills earlier and he figured why not? He feels better than ever. He lets the man he’s making out with know that and he lets out a kind of raspy laugh that Remus thinks is the hottest thing. He lets the other man know that too before sticking his tongue down his throat.

—

Remus is in the park yelling. It is almost 6pm, he pauses for a moment, completely forgetting what he was yelling about. He realizes that he is pretty drunk. Remus would normally like to say he only drinks with an excuse, but he doesn’t remember why he’s drunk, or how he got to the park. This isn’t near campus, he doesn’t recognize this park at all. He just stops yelling and googles the next bus to take him home.

—

Upon arriving home and greeting D, Remus falls asleep in his room for almost 12 hours to make up for the missing sleep from the last four days. When he is woken up for food and offered tylenol for his hangover, he tries to tell them he doesn’t have one. They don’t believe him, but he takes the food. Remus makes a joke recalling how the other day all he had eaten was some stale croutons he found in a pantry and half a bottle of Fireball he found in the fridge nearby. The joke did not land, but he was too busy laughing about it to notice.

The three eat their Sunday lunch with small amounts of banter and D switching between who he agrees with based on who’s statement didn’t sound like it came from a six year old. As they clean up, Remus starts excitedly talking about something that’s topic changed around four times in one sentence. Roman feigns interest but got lost and doesn’t care enough; D listens and has to ask Remus to repeat things slower every few minutes.

—

Several times throughout the night, D hears Remus loudly leave his room to check the front door. In the early morning D doesn’t hear Remus return to his room, but faintly hears netflix turn on in the living room.

In the morning, Remus seems wary of the door but does not say anything.

—

One day while messing around in the kitchen Remus is struck with the need to just go. The urge is so strong that the more he stands still in the kitchen the more his body just begins to tremble with barely contained energy. He doesn’t quite know where he’s going yet, but as he grabs his wallet, double checking he has his bus pass and ID, a jacket, his phone, and his keys. Without telling anyone, he walks to the main exchange near campus where he hops on the first bus that arrives. The bus isn’t particularly busy, and it makes it easier for him as he settles into the back of the bus bopping to his music, but not having the focus to listen to a song all the way through. He hits his hands softly on the very 90’s looking patterned seats to the beat of the song, watching out the windows with both legs bouncing. He rides this bus to the end of the line and catches the next bus to arrive at that bus exchange that takes him into a new smaller city. The sun is beginning to set and he finds a pub to grab some food and a few drinks at.

An hour and a half and four drinks later Remus is fighting some asshole in the pub and they both get kicked out. He wanders these smaller streets buzzed and poking at forming bruises while he smokes a cigarette. He walks by a convenience store and two homeless men outside ask him for a cigarette, he shares and spends a solid amount of time socializing with them and gets some booze for his troubles. They eventually part ways when one of them come out from the bathroom with a pack of stolen cookies. The store attendant chases them away and Remus finds himself wandering down empty streets again. Eventually, Remus decides to sleep for a few hours curled up in a stairwell, he doesn’t quite sleep, but does relax. Again, in the sounds of small city life, yellowed flickering light bulbs, and humid wind, Remus wonders why he’s out here.

—

The flashing neon lights and bass heavy music resonate through Remus’s bones like electricity giving him a never ending feedback loop of energy. Just before the club closes Remus sweet-talks a kind of nerdy looking guy into taking him home, while he’s mostly just hoping to not sleep outside tonight, getting laid wont hurt either.

—

Sneaking out of someone’s house before they wake up isn’t something Remus is necessarily proud of, but he doesn’t want to risk them doing something cheesy like make him breakfast. Sorry sir, Remus is a Manic Pixie Nightmare Boy, do not catch feelings, do not use for your own character development. He laughs to himself a little walking down the morning rush streets.

—

After waking up in bed with a man he doesn’t remember meeting the night before is a little jarring, but this is not the first time. It makes him wonder briefly if something is wrong with him. Remus is tired. Exhausted with himself and getting a little tired of this much fun. Instead of finding a diner for breakfast he catches a bus home and asks Logan if they can hang out tomorrow. If anyone will force him to go home, go to practice, sleep and not give him a choice to study or not without expecting him to explain himself. It will be everyone’s favourite Large Nerd. Remus doesn’t know what’s happening or why he feels like this, but he needs to go home and stop this for a little bit.Virgil, D, and Logan will help him get things a little back on track.

[ilguna]

i also have a list of shit my history teacher (this year) has said and done so I will share it with you:

warning: its really fucking long bc he would say/do shit MULTIPLE times a day

goes onto the next slide, “it’s a meme, get it?” proceeds to explain the meme (its the hey arnold meme with the first)

also goes onto another slide, with the twitter opinion meme. at the end of the paragraph it says “this class smacks, I’m lit”

“I’m going to beat up your brother. i am going to pummel him.”

On the 6th day of class he finally realized that there was a total of 6 guys and the rest were girls

student: “You should not put it in (as an assingment)”. teacher; “laugh out loud, im dead”

he was teaching us how to write a DBQ, the computer had a pop up saying that the battery was low, and then a spider shows up out of fucking nowhere, hanging from the ceiling. he CLAPS it, jokes about eating it, and then sets it on his desk (not in the trash can 2 feet away) so he can “deal with it later”

his endless military stories, specifically ORANGE DESERT

he wrote “if you would have had your thinking skull on” on my first DBQ

him saying “I hate this” after typing a word wrong multiple times while teaching us DBQ’s lmfao

“For the lols”

Threw a box of tissues across the room into the trash can

threw a box of tissues at a student

he had this obsession with throwing expo markers at his whiteboard, trying to make it land on the metal part so expect that a lot.

“Do you want me to drown him in a bathtub?” (which was about a student’s dog that had separation anxiety lmaoo)

Sang the rain drop, drop top song

The collars on his shirt turned up

“He’ll be beaten for that distraction” (after his son called him during his lesson and he willingly answered)

“Stay woke” 

“It was a hot boy summer for him”

expo marker landed on the metal thing for once thanks to a towel that was there

kyle (it must have been a story or something i dont remember)

He woah’d at some point

HAHA so there was a kid in my class that had got caught with a bong on the second week of school and he was suspended. when he came back to class, we were going over what the south grew in the U.S. very early on into colonization. and he used the bong kid as an example of a tobacco farmer

tried to eat a balled up paper

“important revolutionary war stuff”

“My bae, George Washington”

“They could’ve killed g-dubz, but they didn’t”

called george washington “g-dubz” frequiently

“Facts”

“Swagtastic”

he got excited over a military general (baron friedrich von steuben) for being a gay military general--”That was very well respected!”

“He had a ton of swagger”--referring to ben franklin

“His nickname was the swamp fox. You guys can call me that”

The snowball fight story--his brother was friends with a kid he hated next door. my teacher challenged the kid--Eric--to a snowball fight. In preparation, my teacher had froze snowballs, and so when he did have the fight, he LITERALLY knocked Eric out and left him on the front lawn unconscious (he was an elementary school kid)

one time he gave us the punishment quiz by accident, tried to make up for it by giving everyone the answer to #6. however, it turned out to be wrong so he just gave us all 100′s instead

another military story of the goat he bought from an old man with his buddies. unfortunately they had to kill the goat to eat, but the FACT that my teacher said this “a cute little goat--you know, baaa?” as if we didn’t know what a goat was 

He was the golf/hockey coach!! so not only would he talk about beating up the kids in the golf club

he would also do random golf swings all the goddamn time! with no gold club or ball, it was just air.

“You are about to get clowned, young lady”

pronounced pamphlet as pamplet fora good part of his teaching career (another story he told us)

“It’s definitely not the declaration of independence you mouth breather!”

George washington = bae on a powerpoint

“you tied me up real good”

“France also popped off”

Compares the Connecticut compromise to ppap (with the song and everything!)

Told someone to shut up after they suggested that Iowa was the least populated state (he’s from Iowa)

hick iowa, to be exact

Wrote 23 as 32, realized his mistake and said “oop im dyslexic”

“If it’s a purge, I’m killing everybody”

“Federalism, not onion!’

“Who’s the dumbass guy? Ducey!” (our state governor)

he got arrested once. his mugshot is on google images and everything

he got arrested bc some guy was destroying his house w a baseball bat at a party his friendw as throwing (but it was at my teachers house). my teacher respectfully punched him and brought him to the front lawn. called the cops when the guy wouldnt leave and ended up being arrested too. teacher thought his career was over and threatened the guy the entire way to the police station

“laugh out loud!”

“We beat the begeezus out of a bunch of british people”

pronounced wolf as woof

“Who was his daddy? Who’s his daddy?”

Called a swim cap a bonnet

“Kick!”--then proceeds to kick a tennis ball. before that he had just thrown it to get out of his way

“Jesus, you’re a big boy”

for like 2 weeks straight he used that same tennis ball to try and erase a whiteboard. and im not talking rubbing it on the board, he fucking threw it at the wall, getting it off little by little. he eventually gave up, though

“I’ll snot rocket into the trash can”

“Cause I realize most of you are morons”

was obsessed with the cowboy boogie

“Every time I cough, my tail bone hurts”

“Do i look normal?”

“I look like an old man”

“Shut up your faces”

“I see you back there, queen”

“Some of you girls need to learn from this article”--the article was old & about girls being submissive

“that would hurt some people’s feelings, but I’m not gonna show it hurt mine”

“He’s just--’meow’”--about his cat

he had a sweater that had his face on it, photoshopped over a boxer that a student gave him. he wore it during winter

flicked a tennis ball across the room with a hockey stick. hit the coffee thermo on his desk, stared for a couple of seconds, and THEN realized that it was open

First off, all you kids making memes about dodging the draft--we don’t want your dumbasses anyway” --continued to rant for a few minutes after that

he HATED the national anthem with a burning passion

“I’m old as shit”

also, his cat’s name IS meow cat

more expo marker throwing

“Hey there handsome”-- to the teacher next door

“Henry clay is going to haunt you until april” (unfortunately we didnt make it that far into the school year bc of covid. disappointed that i didnt get to be haunted)

Singing electric avenue

“but here’s the tea”

“Flagstaff is like--” *reaches as high as he can to put expo marker on the wall

“I’m adopting all of you, and we’re moving to saudi arabia”

teacher: “I’m gonna break bowers kneecaps in front of you. you still want to be on strike?” not bowers but a different kid: “no...?”

Cleaned the shades in the middle of him explaining something

“You know your pinky toe? this little roast beef?”

THE TURTLE SOUP STORY. when my teacher was still a kid, he found a turtle in the wild, and brought it to his grandparents house (they owned a farm). he took care of the turtle for a while, even after his grandfather found out. until one day he came home and saw blood everywhere, went to find the turtle to see it was gone. then found his grandfather chopping up the fucking turtle so they could have it for soup for dinner. his grandfather literally made him fatten up the turtle so they could eat it

“Did mr.*****--?” (referring to himself in 3rd person, also blocked out to protect privacy)

“i’m going to staple your nostrils closed. staple, staple. ‘I can’t breathe mr.*****!’ should’ve done your DBQ!!”

his pedo stache 

stood with a paper and smiled, thinking that a student was taking a picture of him when it was really the paper

doesn’t know who gaston is???

him: “I’m going to staple your noses together. One staple” Student: “*****’s piercing parlor!”

*singing* “beauty and the beast”

“I’m going to tackle you”

more random golf swinging

“What’s up (my name)?” me: hi *he then hits the bun on the top of my head on his way in the door*

And he did it again the next day

he literally made kids compete with pastries

which reminds me, he brought donuts in 2 days in a row like a week after that and make us (his first hour) take bites bc he realized he didn’t want to eat it. one of the girls was glad to take it from him, everyone else told him no

“Good morning (my name) how are you?” me: “I’m sick again... do you need help? (with the door)” him; “Actually, yes” (normally he can open the door even when his hands are full but there was a stack of pop tart boxes that were as tall as him so) i opened the door, he goes in and says, “thank you (my name), for not being rude”

the following quotes are for the Hot Seat

Student: “what do you do--?” him: “you’re in the hot seat!”

“Some people cry”

“La *****, luxurious”

“You sit here, and you stare (into the projector light)”

basically everyone in the class had to answer a question as a review. there was a stool in front of the smartboard, perfectly placed so that the projector light would LITERALLy be in your eyes. i actually got the question right on some miracle.

“2 points of weed?”

“Can I get some of that hot leaf?”

“They will make more drugs! You can’t do that much drug!”

“You guys bullied me and stole it”

“Whole rest of the nation sucked an egg”

“Whelp, let’s just kill myself”

“Do you guys know david chapel?” *sigh when everyone says no*

*some girls singing the national anthem* Him: “no! none of this, none of this!”

“Calibri’s for idiots” (the font)

“The only thing that was in--shit”

“and uncle sam--gettin lit”

“Their daddy--UH--”

“They’re going to blame the jews--my people” (he got a dna test done, he’s not actually jewish)

“Whatever you say, boomer”

“Use my words to plagiarize in college”

“I’m jewish, that’s offensive”

“Tell him he gave me instant cancer”

Me: “can i go to the bathroom?” him: “I’ll allow it”

him: “He’s antisemetic and it hurts my feelings” student: “what does that mean again?” him: “Hates jews :(”

“You guys can call me kingfish if you’d like”

~ after we said no to the nicknames, we tried to make one for him ~

student: “cornhusker!” him: “no, that’s offensive... and it’s also nebraska”

student: “corn picker!” him: “no--that sounds like a racist term or something”

“Unless corona really does take over--” (thank u, mr. for ruining the school year”

Student: “how old was she (his mom) when she had you?” him: “thirteen”

“My mom just turned 40 the other day...” (a joke)

him: “My brother got t-boned by a semi truck last night” Student: “Why are you laughing?” him: “Because he lived.”

“Yeah bc I would hide out in a public school with 300 new kids a year” (about him not living in iowa so he’s hiding out in az to get away from his “criminal record” (refer to the 1 time hes been arrested))

“Baby death?”

“Their family has more money than jesus”

*Standing outside the door yelling “CORONA” to students walking in”

“Hey I’m *****, f-word, blah, blah”

“We should fight our cats.”

“OH that’s a big chonk cat.”

“Mortal Kombat is pretty cool. I haven’t played in 25 years”

he told us in class once that we shouldnt open the front door if cops show up at a party. just to shut the blinds and be a little quieter bc the cops cant legally open the door

also one time he had a gun pointed to his face but he never finished that story bc he never liked it

during quarantine he set a DBQ as 1000 points (and i still didnt do it)

and “Here’s the tea, kiddos!”

honorable mentions: all the time he’s sent out emails bc theyre fucking hilarious

[aplaceforthesoul]

Anonymous submitted:

for tash again pls from https://aplaceforthesoul.tumblr.com/post/620183874016870400/anonymous-submitted-from

i’m really sorry that i keep hammering on about this but some days im ok and i thought im getting over it but sometimes like today it all comes in waves and i’m overwhelmed with sadness and cry about it again and i dont know where else to turn because i dont really have friends and my family expected me to be over it.

i used to have a friend who is still working there (lets call her C). we bonded bcs we’re from the same country, on the same visa, and the same age, although she’s been working there longer than i have. our visas expire around the same time, and we both had spent a lot of time together worried about what to do about it (we wanted permanent residency, but it’s not easy) so we talked about maybe going to regional australia and study something else, maybe we’ll just return home, and we can live together. we bonded over how we were not getting paid, our toxic employers, etc.

C came to australia as a student, on her own, and started working at this restaurant years ago, when it once was a small takeaway shop, before it reopened in a bigger place - thats when i joined the team. in some way, the original boss had acted as a sort of maternal figure to C, who is obviously far away from her family, and she is also epileptic. so the boss had done things like fetch her to and from the airport, the clinic, advice for living in the country, etc. and somehow, in this employer’s twisted mind, she thinks it is then ok to treat C like free help for her shop rather than an employee because she had done all this for her. so instead of paying C properly, as well as paying her super and everything else an employer should do, she finds it ok to abuse C by paying her whenever she likes, screaming at her for not answering her phone, overworking her, etc.

and C has on numerous occasions complained to me about the abuse she went through. she clearly doesnt like the boss, as on numerous occasions she had brought up the idea of reporting the business, she complains about the work, not being paid and the difficulty it had caused her and flat out said doesnt like the working conditions. BUT. if u were to ask her about the NICE things the boss has done for her, she changes her tone. she boasts about the GOOD things the boss has done for her like the flowers for her birthday - the pictures of her holding the bouquet is her profile pic everywhere, and how the boss takes care of her during an epilepsy episode - (and then put her to work the next night.)  i’ve always thought it was weird , but never questioned her more about it. soon after the fallout with the two bosses, i was on the phone with her. i was crying bc i was distressed about the change, and she said: “we are the children, and they are the adults. if the business fails, it fails. let them deal with it. we’ll just carry on our work."

we were talking everyday after that just before i realised i had gotten fired. our last conversation was in february, on the phone, when we were talking about hanging out after work. and suddenly, everything dropped. i realised i had been let go from work, and suspect that the boss had told C not to talk to me anymore. i know C had extended her visa by changing to a student visa, to study cooking, because the boss said she would sponsor her if she did that. she went to study with borrowed money from her family (since she isnt getting paid nearly enough to even pay her rent smh) which is something she told me she didnt want to do. like i dont understand that at all.

what a shit show huh.

now C is not returning my messages. in fact i saw her at the shopping mall just last week. my first instinct was to go up and speak to her, until she spotted me, stopped in her tracks, and went the other direction. i truly did not expect her to be the one to turn her back on me, after everything we’ve been through.

my visa is supposed to expire next month, but after the lockdown my family and i decided that it is the best decision to stay put in australia for the time being. so i applied for a visitor’s visa for a year. the form asked for proof that i had stopped working, in the form of payslips or contract, both of which i dont have, obviously. but i submitted it anyway so now im still waiting on my application.

it just baffles me how one bad employment and two incompetent bosses had fucked up my life this bad. i cant apply for anymore work in australia, so i have no income, the only other person who understood my situation is now gone, now im just waiting until its safe to leave the country. sitting at home, doing nothing but mulling over how i had lost my job, lost my best friend, lost the opportunity to do my masters, and leave the country i had lived in for this long.

im trying not to think about it anymore but its like half a year later and its still causing me grief but nobody knows or gets it.

anyway. sorry that this is long winded i just need to vent. you’re amazing tash, if only i could borrow your residency while you’re in the uk.

hey again <3 yeah getting permanent residency in australia is a nightmare, australia’s government is mostly anti-immigration which makes me sad. 

I can honestly understand why you’re still thinking about this and being negatively impacted by it all, the job gave you hope of completing your masters and staying longer in the country? and hope is a very powerful emotion! to then have it all taken away in such a brutal and unfair and cruel way...well that would affect anyone pretty badly. add in the fact that the ending of the job has created a lot of other negative situations and distress? it makes a lot of sense about why you’re still upset over this. 

this business needs to be reported, honestly what they’re doing is cruel and illegal. it’s quite clear that they are using the promise of sponsoring study as a way to manipulate vulnerable people into underpaid work, it’s also now very clear that they have no intention of following through on that promise -- it’s now become a pattern of behaviour if they did it with C as well as you. they shouldn’t be allowed to continue to operate and to profit off the backs of immigrants and illegal wages. you’re the one who’s suffered, it’s up to you whether you do want to do this? but I would think a lot about it -- I know you mentioned that your parents are close with the owners, but this isn’t ok.

I think all you can do now is put this behind you, accept the reality of the situation and try to be as kind to yourself as you can. spend time looking after yourself, practising self care, prioritising you and your well-being. maybe that means daily exercise and walks, or creating art (clay, painting, drawing?), or spending time gardening, or practising yoga / meditation, whatever works for you. as long as it’s calming and relaxing for you, and you find some measure of peace? then that’s what matters. 

know that what happened to you wasn’t right, it wasn’t your fault at all. you were exploited and taken advantage of, and you didn’t deserve that. try to keep yourself busy as best as you can, take it one day at a time. make a conscious decision to work on letting this go and looking forward, see how things go. I think right now is the hardest bit, because you’re kinda stuck in limbo and there’s lockdown / social distancing measures to deal with too? but once you get moving again and things change, it may have a more positive impact on your mental health when you’re being kept busy again and you have a change of environment. 

I’m glad you were able to vent and get this off your chest, I hope you’re able to find some peace and acceptance moving forward xxx

- tash

[prettywordsyouleft]

Through His Eyes - Part 6

Summary: Losing your sight after your accident was traumatic, and Jaebum’s guilt of knowing it should have been him instead creates an intricate bond between you both, as you overcome adversity and try to find your way in life again.

Genre: angst / romance

Characters: Im Jaebum x female reader

A/N: This story is emotional and raw compared to some of the content on my blog. It is in no way an attempt to glamourise or undervalue the lives of those who suffer from something similar. This story is purely fictional.

Through His Eyes will be posted every Tuesday at 10am NZST.

Index: Prologue | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 [M] | 13 - FINAL

“Okay, so we just need to head this way now, Y/N.”

You whipped your head towards the voice and gripped tighter on her arm, unsure if you were hurting her or not. The sounds around you were overwhelming and you tried to compose yourself internally, worrying if you were attracting any attention with your behaviour.

It was your first day back at university and a mixture of nerves and excitement had already sent you into overdrive before your minder, Yoona, had picked you up. You were slightly dejected with having to be led around a campus you had known like the back of your hand for the past two years, but now that you were in the bustling environment, you couldn’t have been more thankful for Yoona’s aid.

“Relax Y/N, you’ll be fine. After all, English Literature is something you did a lot of during high school so your application said. I can’t see how hard it will be for you to keep up with this class.”

“I feel ridiculous though, having to start a new degree when I was already halfway through…”

“Through?” Yoona asked as your throat closed up, your mind imagining the painting studio you had spent the majority of your campus life in previously. A strong smell of clay triggered within your brain and you faltered in your step. “Y/N, are you okay?”

“Huh?” Shaking your head clear of your previous Art and Design degree, you tried to smile. “Oh, completely. So we’re near the lecture building now?”

“Almost. I thought we’d have to turn back for home just then.”

“What, why?”

“This seems to all be too much for you. Are you sure-”

“Positive, I need to get on with my life. This will be perfectly fine, come on.”

Three hours later, and you had managed to last through the introduction class for one of my literature courses, and Yoona had taken you to the enrolments centre to get your disability information and access card. Now you were sitting at a table waiting for your friends to arrive, hoping for some normalcy to ease your heightened state. Whilst a small part of your brain was congratulating you for getting around campus somewhat successfully so far, you were slowly beginning to feel despair. You couldn’t even take two steps alone by yourself, the world never having felt this big until now.

It was scary being blind in a place you once knew so well.

“Y/N! I honestly didn’t expect you back so soon!”

“Neither, I honestly thought it was a joke when Clare told us.”

You smiled towards the voices of my friends Jinah and Lian. “Why would that be a joke?”

“I guess it’s not easy for you to be here right? I mean, it must be pretty scary.”

You nodded. “Well starting a new degree is a bit nerve-wracking.”

“I meant-”

You heard them both move across from you awkwardly. “Li, drop it. We’re not here to discuss that aspect to Y/N, right?”

“You don’t have to avoid the fact that I’m blind,” you stated, feeling dejected by their wording. You hoped it was because they were as nervous as you were, and tried to relax. There was no immediate reaction though, and you reached out over the table, tapping your fingers until you knocked into your drink. Both girls gasped as the water seeped over the edge and into your lap.

“Y/N, that was so silly of you! Why would you do that?”

“You both went quiet; I was trying to see if you were still there.” You remained calm, it wasn’t the first time you had spilt something over yourself.

“Of course, we’re having lunch together. Well, we should be but you’re really wet now. Aren’t you embarrassed? Where’s your minder?”

“Jinah’s right, you shouldn’t be alone like this. God, what a mess.”

The pair continued with their exclamations, whilst you remained silent in your chair. You were confused, wondering if they had always been this superficial, or having to look at life in a different way had made you take nothing for granted and let the small stuff not affect you anymore. Despite not understanding the sudden change in the pair, you were beginning to feel more uncomfortable being in their presence the longer they made a big deal about it.

You let out a hollow laugh, shaking your head slowly. This seemed to cease their constant talking. You sighed and folded your arms across your chest. “Leave.”

“What?”

“It’s obvious that my lack of eyesight is hard for you both to comprehend. Further, I’m not embarrassed by small things like this, it’s a part of my life now. You two have the problem though, so you’re free to leave.”

You heard Lian scoff. “Seriously Y/N, we took time out of our schedule to meet you here today. Clare was right, you’re not the same!”

You didn’t reply, unable to form a sentence that would make you sound as strong as your previous words had been. You listened to the scraping of their chairs, knowing you were alone at the table again. Your body let out a small tremor, the suppressed emotions making it difficult to sit and remain composed. You checked your watch for the time, knowing Yoona had given you an hour before she would come back. You had assured her that your friends would take good care of you, though that clearly had been a poor assumption.

Choking back your sobs from thinking over the word friend, you had never felt this alone in your life. You were known as the adaptable one, the friend who easily meshed into any group or scene, and happily made friends wherever you went. Now, because you had lost your ability to see, things were different. You were frustrated, knowing you still were you on the inside. Further, just because you lost your sight, didn’t mean you had misplaced all the years of memories and friendship with them. You were desperate to view yourself in their eyes, wondering what exactly about you made you seem different. You gripped the table edge then, hoping that Yoona would arrive soon. Admittedly, the wetness of your pants was bothering you, and adding greatly to your discomfort.

You managed to calm down enough to give Yoona a call, hoping she would be able to assist you to go home. Her phone, however, kept switching to the unavailable message, and your mind started to race, wondering what or who could help you. Your Mum came up as the most obvious solution but you shook away the thought, knowing if your first day had gone this rocky, she’d never let you back out the door again. Anxiety began to creep up from the pit of your stomach, and you felt queasy, your immediate need now being to make it to the bathroom.

Trouble was, you had no idea where it was.

You gathered your bag clumsily and reached inside for your guide cane, clicking it out to its full length once you had it out and stood up. You then raised your hand and feebly called out, praying someone would hear you. Thankfully, someone did and helped you over to the bathroom, allowing you to feel your way along the countertop before leaving you to assess your current predicament. You felt your pants and groaned that they were still damp. Cupping your hands under the faucet that you had managed to find, you waited for the sensor to catch your hands, unexpectedly getting sprayed with more water. You cursed, reaching into your pocket for your phone again.

“Why won’t she answer?” you questioned softly and contemplated calling your Mum. It was then that you heard the bathroom door open and footsteps entered. You tried to angle yourself away, feeling ashamed at how you must look to them. There was a small giggle and you lowered your head further.

“Don’t laugh; those taps have sprayed all of us before. She’s blind, she can’t help it.”

You stood there whilst they used the bathroom, and then when they came closer, you tried to smile. “Could you please tell me the name of this café?”

“It’s C4, do you need any help?”

“Thanks, do you think you could help me outside the building?” you continued, trying to battle away your ever-increasing anxiety. The truth was you wanted out. You needed to escape this hellish experience, but you knew you couldn’t do it alone. Despite the initial comments, they both were kind enough to escort you to the exit and after thanking them, you pulled your phone out again. Lowering your head, you rehearsed what you would say to your Mother, your mood darkening at thinking how poorly your first attempt of returning to normalcy had been. I guess I need to accept my goals are too big for who I am right now.

Your phone went off in your hand and you jumped at the sudden vibration, scrambling to make sure you didn’t lose it as you fumbled to push talk. “Help me!”

“Where are you?!” Jaebum asked and you felt so relieved to hear his voice. You could hear that his breathing had increased and yet the sound seemed to relax you further. “Y/N!”

“I’m at university and everything has gone terrible. My minder won’t answer her phone and I’m completely alone outside of a café.”

“What’s the name of the café?”

“C4, it’s near the English department. But I’ll call my Mum-”

“I’m already heading to my car. Don’t move, I’ll be there soon.”

The phone disconnected and you obeyed his instructions, shifting about slowly on your feet as you waited. Holding onto your cane for support, you remained standing still for an immeasurable time, until you smelt a familiar perfume coming closer. You moved towards it somewhat recklessly, hoping that Jaebum would be the only person in the vicinity to wear it. A hand soon slipped into yours and you began to cry with relief.

“I told you to stay still!”

“I knew it was you,” you told him despite your emotions and allowed him to lead you away from the campus, and all the way to his car. You hopped in and relaxed into the chair, listening as he soon sat down beside you. It was then that you panicked over who Jaebum was and gasped noisily. “Oh my god, why did you come here?!”

“You needed me!”

“Jaebum, you’re famous! You’ll get recognised!”

He sighed heavily. “I took measures to make sure I didn’t stand out too much. Regardless, how could I not come for you? Now explain to me in full what happened.”

You did as he asked, and when you finished telling your events, you hung your head dejectedly. “I guess I can’t return to university after all.”

“Why can’t you?” he asked softly reaching for your hand. “You’re too smart to be cooped up, Y/N/N.”

You blinked, realising the way he shortened your name was new. It felt good to hear him relax with how he called you. “Did you just give me a nickname?”

“Isn’t that what friends do? Give nicknames, listen and help, and drop their entire schedule when needed?”

“Jaebum!”

“Why not try giving me a nickname too then?”

“Okay, I choose irresponsible.”

“I choose to ignore that choice.”

“Idiotic.”

The car engine started and Jaebum pulled the car out of its park. “Well, my manager will agree there. But it doesn’t sound good, and it’s definitely not a nickname.”

“Oppa?” You teased and he went silent. “Hey, that was a joke!”

“Oh, so calling Mark that is fine, but not me?”

“Eh, oppa seems so, so-”

“Correct?”

“Fangirl,” you insisted and scrunched up your nose. Jaebum scoffed and you grinned. “I mean, I was, well am, a huge fan of you all, but it seems weird to call you that now.”

“So what will I be to you?”

“Everything,” you blurted out, feeling your cheeks redden deeply at the slip of tongue. Jaebum didn’t respond immediately and then you felt the car spin on itself quickly, disorientating you a little. “What is going on?”

“I need to show you something. It might give you some confidence to take control of who you are.”

You became curious; wondering how today had gone from disaster to complete comfort within such a short space of time. Smiling, you knew it was because Jaebum had become someone who you wanted to do everything with.

He accepted who you were regardless of your eyes.

_________________

[Part 7]

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