#so im staying up to see the new years

[c10v3r]

happy new years ii community !!!!!!! my new years resolution is to be more silly

[puppyeared]

Jitterbug

[ialwaysknewyouwerepunk]

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[floral-hex]

so tired of feeling sick all of the time. I’m in the middle of moving, this time to an upstairs apartment, and just carrying one box up the stairs kills me 😰

[bibimbinge]

tired of being called inconsiderate and rude the second I say something thats not exactly in a nice tone when my brain is working 3× more to be considerate of everyone and everything else 99% of the time.

[mbat]

dude, i dont think im gonna ever be over how last year i knew someone who pissed me off pretty much anytime they spoke (they were a friend of my friend so it wasnt my choice that they were there), and one of the other people in the server decided to jokingly as them a question

and, the context here is that this question isnt that far off from the humor i have with my friends and it wasnt meant to be bad or serious, like we just have a lightly edgy humor sometimes in there. but the first person i dont think was in on the joke

but this other person asked the first person "do you hate jews"

and the first person replied with. "i hate lsrael but i dont hate jews"

and i...

no one. no one asked about lsrael. literally no one brought that up. the question was about jews.

and when i later was trying to convey this to that person, they just didnt get it. and all of my other friends (and obviously both the people mentioned in this post) are goyish so it didnt really bother them as much, but i just still think about it every once in a while

whenever i mention this, no one else seems bothered but im just.

there are millions of jews worldwide of all different kinds and backgrounds and personalities and hobbies and things they love and hate, and most have nothing to do with this whole thing going on (me included), but the first thing that a lot of people think of when they hear jew is this horrible thing going on. like, am i seriously the only one whos bothered by that??

like if i told someone im jewish and their first thought was to ask me about that situation id be like ?? why are you asking me im fucking 21 years old and ive lived in missouri usa my whole life ??

luckily i havent talked to this person since november last year anyway, they were seriously so infuriating for like... every reason imaginable

[ame-to-ame]

there are things that you don't do for a year or more and pick up just right where you left off and these days i fear loving you might be one of them

[moodr1ng]

today in "trying to get bottom surgery is its own circle of hell": on may 28th, i get my surgeon on the phone regarding the issue of my surgery getting approved and inform him that i have an official document of approval that covers all transition surgeries for the rest of my life and therefore i dont need to pass through a specific meeting to have bottom surgery approved. surgeon tells me to send him the document and hell be able to bring it up in a staff meeting "at the end of the week" and schedule my surgery asap. as soon as i get a copy of the document the next day i email it to him. so, of course, its been two weeks since that "end of the week" staff meeting and i havent heard shit!

emailed the surgeon again asking for an update.. maybe at some point ill finally get a date for this surgery ive been going through the process of preparing and getting approved since 2021 :) which was already scheduled then delayed twice in 2023 :))

can i move to the reality right wingers believe in where you just walk into a hospital and say "give me a sex change now!!" and they immediately start prepping an or lol

[indilaras]

Cytham Week Day 4: Sharing a Bed

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The people of Sumeru can now dream. That's not always a pleasant thing, it seems.

.

Bonus: I have some short prose under the cut bcs I was unsatisfied with just this piece apparently?

"--tham. Haitham."

A hitched breath, and then a sound still sticky with sleep, in a questioning tone. Turquoise eyes blearily peeked through lashes.

Cyno huffed. "You were crying." He brushed off the tear on his cheek. "Bad dream?"

"...'m fine. Go back to sleep."

"I can't. Had a nightmare again." He glanced at the bedside, at the steam still lightly wafting from his cup. "If you'd like, I can get up and make--"

"Don't--" His grip grew tighter on his thigh, just the slightest bit shaky. "Don't. I don't need it."

"...Alright." His hand moved up to his head, fingers running through soft hair in slow, rhythmic motions. He grabbed the cup and took a slow sip. Jasmine, sweet and fragrant, soothing his throat with warmth.

Alhaitham's gaze stuck to him, breath slow and soft.

Half left. Cyno sighed, brushed back Alhaitham's bangs, and pressed the cup on the pale forehead. "Here."

For a split second, it was as if those red rings on his pupils were the sun, shining bright on a blue desert sky. Then, Alhaitham pushed himself up to a sit, grabbed the cup with both hands, and drank up the rest.

Emptied, the cup returned to the bedside table, and Alhaitham in turn fell back to

Cyno's lap. He reached up, almost flailing, grabbed Cyno's hand after some failed attempts, and placed it on his head.

A laugh fell out of him, even as he indulged him again, carressing his hair, like petting some oversized housecat. He'd call the man spoiled, but perhaps it was deserved. Most nights he was already awakened by Cyno's night-terrors, already up and comforting him despite stumbling through his words in drowsiness.

Compared to all that, a half cup of tea and some petting was hardly any trouble.

[arionawrites]

1. it’s my 24th birthday today, so my goal of being published by the time i’m 25 is now a one year looming monster, but i never specified what kind of published and am currently looking in various literary magazines that are recommended for writers who have yet to be published, so i’m surprisingly confident that i can make it work? and tbh even if whatever i write isn’t officially published before my 25th birthday, if i have someone in the process of being published then i’ll be happy!! no matter what though, i’m gonna try to be proud of myself for at least giving it my best shot!!

2. i honestly love that my birthday is on the ides of march because the ides of march meme shitposting is only a thing on tumblr but it also being my birthday makes it easier to like. be excited about the ides of march outside of tumblr. like even in person i can be like “it’s my birthday! i’m an ides of march babe (:” and if someone is like oh what’s that? or if they say something along the lines of oh like julius caesar? i can be like yep!! and even if it’s a small thing outside of tumblr it brings me immense enjoyment and amusement being able to bring it up off of tumblr

3. transportation situation has been very rough since june 2023 when i totalled my car, my gap insurance are being assholes and i ended up putting my foot down on the phone with them yesterday which i’m pretty proud of because i am NOT a confrontational person (something i’ve been working on this past year, so seeing some improvement with my ability to hold my ground and not be a pushover yesterday was very cool!!) i was told i’d get a response from them by friday next week no matter what, and if i don’t then friday of next week i will continue to wreak havoc upon them. but my moms car which i’ve been using since my accident broke down yesterday, hopefully it’s fixable but my parents were saying it might be done for, so trying to think of how i’m gonna get to work next week is kind of stressing me out lmao, but for now i’m just gonna focus on enjoying my birthday the best i can because i don’t want to start off being 24 with an overwhelming anxiety for something that won’t be a potential issue until monday. plus i already messaged my boss today to let her know that i’m going to do everything i can to make it work out but just so she’s in the loop and knows of the potential of me not being able to make my morning shifts (one of my coworkers said she’s more than happy to give me a ride for our afternoon shifts which does help relieve some of the stress!) and i told her i’d let her know for sure sunday so that if necessary she can have time to figure out someone to fill in for me in the mornings!

overall: life is weird and i ended being 23 yesterday with a shitty situation but a positive outlook and i am going to enjoy my first day of being 24 no matter what because honestly i fucking earned it. happy friday everyone, i hope it’s a good day for you and me both!

[wooftphr]

some days i wish i could do a silly little task WITHOUT being consumed by it for like. 2 years.

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

[Belated] Wip Wednesday!

you know my life is hectic when notes ap fics while im waiting for the bus make a comeback. anyway Tesoro is being a weirdly sweet manipulative cunt<3 i need to write one of the many times Celia fucks up everyone lives shes looking to pity-able. this is notes app writing so no editing or rereading [except for the beginning with whos speaking] just stream of thoughts- i already know many places i will sit down and improve when i have time

[Tesoro] Do you know who Amelia reminds me of?

[Celia laughs] It's obvious, isn't it?

[Tesoro, dead serious] She reminds me of you.

[Celia, at the same time] Of Elen-

Seeing Celia freeze in shock, a cruel part of him was glad, to be assured that with just a few words he could still metaphorically lay Celia bare, strip away all of the stone walls and bravado, and leave behind a scared child, even after all these years.

Golden eyes were wide, the white fully surrounding. Bright pupils were growing larger, threatening to drown out the narrowing ring of gold.

Its a secret so few know that those pinpricks growing to even half the size of a normal pupil is an indicator of true fear, whereas the usual pinpricks is normal. To those who knew her younger, they think it just changed over time to be smaller, but the truth is she's in many ways conquered her old fears, and those that have taken their place are a slow constant fear, about larger factors. Celia doesn't worry that she will get physically attacked from any side. these days, its the era of mind games instead.

It was always interesting, Celias eyes. More normal than black in place of white, but those metallic eyes and bright pinprick pupils were unsettling to him even more. At first glance, human, second, anything but. Celia- of heaven, according to some old Latin books, derived from a surname meaning the same.

It was easy to see her as something other, even holy, but no benevolent god could create a soldier like her. Those who called her brother an angel were just as misguided, but the veneer of kindness and comfort that made it easy to ignore Cecios' terrifying power over people and see him as holy was lacking in his sister, who they viewed with fear, no seemingly benevolent and gracious angel but an awesome- in the most classical sense of the word- leader of man, set apart from the rest with an unsettling aura of difference. A far cry from the little girl Amelia so reminds him of. Elena was the seemingly godlike one, inspiring awe and fear, then. Celia was just another scrapper desperate to prove her worth in the eyes of her peer, and oh, how desperate she was.

It's the most likely reason why, why he can disable her like this, bypass years of walls. Because he was there before those walls became impenetrable, before she stepped up and shut everyone else out. Some lingering memories of him as her superior, in their childish hierarchy, instincts to listen to him, still dormant inside her.

For every time she learned to put up a higher and stronger wall, he had learned how to bring it crashing down.

It's the same cruel part of him that whispers it, but she truly is his greatest success, rising from the bottom to new heights - all with him by her side advising her.

[redpiperfox]

But mainly, and really:

[deoidesign]

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[thepandalion]

and today in "why is fandom so antisemitic" just blocked two more followers in my sideblog, which makes it about 10 of what would have been almost 35 followers over a couple months. because the "all israelis are evil" bs is really big in mcyt circles.

also haven't watched the new season of hc because I don't want to touch the fandom anymore and enjoying things alone isn't as fun when you know there's a fandom. but also the fandom is full of people that wish I was dead so I dont want to be there either. which means right now the only things in my life are the jewish bloggers I follow (love yall) and doing daily challenges in microsoft solitaire. and university ig but it's the weekend and Im trying not to think about my homework rn

also gave up and made a "btw Im israeli plz stop following me if u want me dead" post on the sideblog. hope it works ig.

[bloodystray]

ohhhhhh it's getting harder