#even my dad thought it was awesome enough to commission me for his own work stuff once! thats awesome

[thepandalion]

and today in "why is fandom so antisemitic" just blocked two more followers in my sideblog, which makes it about 10 of what would have been almost 35 followers over a couple months. because the "all israelis are evil" bs is really big in mcyt circles.

also haven't watched the new season of hc because I don't want to touch the fandom anymore and enjoying things alone isn't as fun when you know there's a fandom. but also the fandom is full of people that wish I was dead so I dont want to be there either. which means right now the only things in my life are the jewish bloggers I follow (love yall) and doing daily challenges in microsoft solitaire. and university ig but it's the weekend and Im trying not to think about my homework rn

also gave up and made a "btw Im israeli plz stop following me if u want me dead" post on the sideblog. hope it works ig.

[songbirdsingingthings]

You and Your Everything - Shouto Todoroki x Reader

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Kohei Horikoshi

MHA Masterlist - Main Masterlist

WARNINGS: Your parents being the absolute worst, a few minor curse words, a lil angsty

Requested by Anonymous:

HI i love your writing and i saw that your requests were open? i was wondering if you could do like a shoto x reader but instead y/ns parents are like the opposite of shoto and endeavor? like for an example how shoto wants nothing to do with his dad and and all y/n wants to do is please her parents or make them happy since they never pay attention to her like that? both house holds are still toxic but i feel like thatd be an interesting dynamic

A/N: This was so interesting and cool to write! Obviously, the subject matter was much angstier and sadder than a lot of the stuff I have written, but I found writing this, like, entire paragraph of dialogue of Shouto (you’ll know it when you see it) to be so entirely incredible. I just kept on writing. Thank you so much for this awesome rec!

Word Count: 1.8K

“You’ve reached the voicemail of Kana Y/L/N. Please leave a message. BEEP”

“Hi Mom, it’s me again. Just calling to remind you that third years are allowed to reserve a box for their parents in the Sports Festival arena! I saved one for you and Dad in the front row, which are the best seats in the whole place. The Festival takes place tomorrow, as I told you guys about three months ago so you could put it on your calendars. I’m, uh, looking forward to seeing you again! Love you, bye!” Pressing the red circle that represented an “end call” button, you heaved a sigh and looked through your recent calls. Nine recent calls that your mother had missed within the last three days. Ten that your father had. They’re just busy, you tell yourself, trying to ease your mind. They’re just busy right now, but they had said that they’d come. They’ll come. Your thoughts had consumed you to such a point you didn’t even register the little nudges to your side.

“.../N? Y/N?” You blinked quickly to rid your consciousness of its prior dilemma and turn your head to the side. With heterochromatic eyes blinking fondly at you matched with a slight frown of concern, your boyfriend prompts the same question that had earlier feel upon deaf ears. “Y/N, I was asking if you are alright. You seemed a little… not here when I asked you just a minute ago.” Shouto’s voice, like always, is level, however little hints of emotion always tend to slip in between the cracks of his pronunciations. Like now, for instance, you hear the traces of worry cling onto his words.

“Oh, sorry, I was just leaving a voicemail.” You say simply. The sentence that left your mouth would seem normal to any person that you were friendly with. However, Shouto knew the implications. His shoulders seemed to tense as he took your hand. You squeeze his hand to reassure him. “Don’t worry Sho, they’re just really busy people. I’m sure they definitely carved time out of their schedules to come and watch me. I just need to make sure I get into the tournament round so I don’t waste their time.” You say, laughing a little dryly. Shouto doesn’t smile at the joke you made at your own expense.

“I just don’t get it.” He says, which makes your smile drop into a frown. “Why do you try so hard for them.” Your spine straightens at his words and your grip on his hand loosens. “Y/N, they’re awful people-”

“They’re my parents and I want to make them proud.” You say swiftly, a slight grimace on your face. Silence settles between the two of you, that is, until you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. Jumping up immediately and grabbing your phone, you take a glance at the caller ID. Your heart sinks as you see it’s a random telemarketer, and click decline call. You look back to your boyfriend, which was a mistake, because his eyes pooled with pity. Not feeling quite right in the space you were in, you grab your school bag and stuff your phone the furthest down it would go. “I’m going to go freshen up before dinner.” You decide, nodding towards Shouto and walking away a bit.

“Do you want me to come with you?” His suggestion on a normal basis would make your face flush and your heart beat a bit faster, however today you just wanted to be alone for a bit.

“No, it’s okay,  I’ll see you at dinner.” You say quickly.

“Y/N.” His grip came softly around your wrist, tugging you back a bit to face him. “I’m… I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I just love you,” he said those last two words a bit softer than the others, “and I want to see you happy.” Butterflies took flight in the pit of your stomach as you held Shouto’s gaze, his heartfelt and earnest words weighing heavily within your heart. Your frown wobbles into a smile as you lean in to place a quick kiss to his cheek.

“I know.”

“Did you see me out there?!” You cheer, careening down the arena hallway towards where Shouto was waiting with open arms. You leapt directly into them and was quickly picked up and spun around in a little circle.

“I did, you were incredible.” Shouto gushes, his cheek squished against yours. You laughed joyously as you felt his arms squeeze you closer to him, your heart racing with both leftover adrenaline from your second round tournament match and the feeling of love from your boyfriend. However, your laughter and the embrace you were tucked into died down when you heard the faint clearing of a throat, causing both of you to turn towards the sound. If you were looking into a mirror, you’re sure you would see your eyes grow to the size of saucers and your jaw dropping just a tad at the sight before you. There, standing about ten paces away, were your parents. Your mother, with her hair tied back in an uncomfortable looking bun with her freshly pressed pencil skirt and matching career jacket. Your father at her side, his suit and pants looking as sharp as ever. And the expressions they held…

“M-mother? Father? You two made it?” You stammer out, dumbfounded at their appearance. “But I, uh, didn’t see either of you in the stands.” You admit, earning a nonchalant expression from both parents.

“Well, with that lackluster performance that you executed, did you really think we would want to show our faces? It’s bad enough our colleagues know of you and all your little failures that you like to categorize as triumphs. Honestly, you really thought that we would want to be on camera for the entire world to see?” Your mother’s bored tone and biting words struck you hard. You felt your spine straighten and your hands stick to your side as you bit the inside of your cheek.

“But… I won.” You said, so soft that the sound of someone’s heartbeat could overpower it. If your gaze wasn’t stuck to your parents’ forms, you would have seen Shouto’s eyebrows narrow, awaiting for the oncoming onslaught.

“Good Lord, you want to call that a win? It makes me wonder how you ever got into this school or passed any physical examination in your class.” Your father’s tone, just as bored and apathetic as your mother’s, sent trembles down your spine. You clenched your fists and jaw to try and prevent crying. But, of course, it was of no use. The tears trickled their way, one by one, down your cheek like raindrops on a car window.

“And you’re crying now. Fantastic.” Your mother retorts, turning her to your father now. “I told you we should have sent her directly to the Hero Public Safety Commission. Would’ve toughened her up in no time-”

“CAN’T YOU SEE SHE’S UPSET?!” You almost didn’t recognize his voice. The soft spoken, pensive Shouto Todoroki that you knew to be your boyfriend rarely got upset. When he did, it was almost always in the middle of a battle or fight, just as he was about to use a special move. But this time, it was pure rage and anger that clung onto his words. Your parents, now sprouting an expression of slight surprise turned their attention to the seething red-and-white haired boy at your side. “All she ever does is work to make you happy. Day and night, twenty-four seven, it’s for you. And now here you come, strutting back into her life with some agenda on how she should fight and how much of a so-called failure she is?! Well screw that! You don’t get to have an opinion when it comes to her! She has been trying to get a hold of both of you for months on end and getting no more than the same damn message from your voicemails, telling her that you’re too busy for her!” Shouto’s face was red now. His fists were balled up and the tiniest flecks of flames were flaking from his left side. “And then, you’re now finally here, and you come with this holier-than-thou attitude! Y/N L//N, your daughter, is the most incredible and capable person I have met in my entire life. The fact that a person like her can rise like a phoenix from the ashes that is your attitudes and parenting styles is a miracle, because in every way, shape and form, she will forever be a marvel. To me, to our classmates, and to the entire world. I just can’t wait to see the look on your sorry asses when the time comes for her to give her thank you speech after becoming the number one hero, and you don’t hear either of your names mentioned once.” The silence is deafening after Shouto finishes speaking. You feel your whole body trembling and can recognize that there are tears falling down past your cheeks, but nothing else. Nothing else, until that constricting feeling that you felt bound to you to your parents’ approval starts to loosen the moment Shouto takes your hand in his. 

“Let’s go.” Your words, merely more than a whisper, is all it takes for Shouto to wrap and arm around your waist as he marches past your dumbstruck parents, towards a private room. The second Shouto clicks the lock shut, you let yourself break down. Sobs racked your body as you clung onto his shirt, his arm, and his love. “They’re supposed to be my parents. How… I can’t even do anything.” You hiccup into his tear-stained gym uniform, the one identical to yours (without the blotches of tears).

“Hey, shh, you’re okay. You’re fine.” Shouto says, his reassuring words grounding you. “You will get through this whole… mess, okay? I know you can. All you need to do is take it one day at a time.” You nod into his chest and let your head lie there as the tears finally started to cease from falling.

“You, uh, probably have to get ready for your match, right?” You sniff, moving one of your hands up to your face to rub at your nose.

“I’m fine here.” Shouto says, wrapping his arms around you. “Y/N, you really were incredible out there. Do not let them make you think otherwise.” You nod again as you feel Shouto begin to play lightly with your hair. “You are enough. More than, in fact. They might think otherwise, but I don’t. I love you, and your smile, and your everything.” You were too fried emotionally to say anything back, but Shouto knew. He knew that it would take time to finally break from your parents’ psychological hold over you and that he would always be there at your side.

[dogbearinggifts]

What are your thoughts on tua S2? Did you feel like the characters grew? What did you like? What did you not? I’m interested in your perspective. Your analysis are super thoughtful and interesting!

Aw, thanks, Anon!

Overall, I really enjoyed S2 and thought it was a solid follow-up to S1. I do have my quibbles about it, so I think (for ease of reference and because my thoughts are a little scattered today) I’ll list some of my personal highlights (in no particular order) before getting into what I didn’t like as much.

Big spoilers ahead.

Allison. I thought they handled her storyline especially well. Of all the siblings, I think she had the most difficult obstacles placed in her way (not only is she a Black woman landing in 1961 Dallas, but she’s a Black woman landing in 1961 Dallas who can’t even speak in her own defense for a year) and they sugarcoated exactly none of it. The writers pulled no punches when showing what civil rights protesters went through, which just made their nonviolent response all the more breathtaking. Allison’s fear and anger during those scenes were palpable even as she kept them hidden. But along with that horror, we see the kindness and warmth of the Dallas Black community, the women who take her in simply because she needs their help, and her love for Ray, perhaps heretofore THE most thoughtful husband ever portrayed on screen. I loved him, and I loved him and Allison together. While I understand and respect his choice to stay in 1963, I wish they’d gotten more time together. They both deserved it.

Vanya. We got to see how much the baggage from her past affected her by glimpsing what she might be like if it were taken away. It’s an interesting philosophical question, and it was explored well, in my opinion. She finds it easier to love and be loved, and she stands up for herself more readily—but she also doesn’t hesitate to use powers she can’t quite control and threatens Five without fully realizing how dire her threat is (or how it might dredge up traumatic memories she doesn’t know exist). The moment where Ben finds her curled up, fully convinced she’s a monster, was heartbreaking. I loved watching her find happiness with Sissy, even if that was fleeting (and dear god, Sissy deserved her happy ending with Vanya, dammit, I don’t care if it would fuck up the timeline). Her patience and sweetness with Harlan were just beautiful. And the way she used the confidence she gained during her amnesia to fully come into her own not to exact revenge on her siblings, but to save them, was fucking phenomenal.

The humor. There was a lot more humor this season, and it was awesome. So many iconic scenes—Olga Foroga, Luther babysitting two homicidal Fives, Elliot awkwardly lecturing his guests on the history of Jello, “NEW TIMELINE NEW ME,” “Your vagina needs glasses,” AJ the fish gobbling up the cigarette bubbles, Five getting to say “fuck”….this season was a lot funnier than the previous one, and I think that was one of its strengths.

Klaus’ cult. It was played for laughs, which I both expected and thought was the best way to handle it. He didn’t want to start a new religion with himself at the center; he just wanted to not get thrown out of any more diners, but Destiny’s Children had other ideas. The “I too am a fraud!” scene was hilarious and tickled the question of whether or not a religion founded on false pretenses can still help those within it find meaning.

Luther. Getting him away from his dad, his siblings, and the Academy was exactly what he needed to become the pure of heart and dumb of ass genius we always knew he was, but his first major step in that direction was heartbreaking. We all knew he’d be rejected once he got to the Academy. We all knew Reginald would rip his heart out and stomp on it in his admittedly fashionable shoes. It gets Luther out on his own and forces him to become his own person apart from his dad, but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch. He got the positive character development he needed, but the catalyst was tragic.

Diego. We see, for the first time, exactly how Reginald kept him in line—not with meds or with PTSD-inducing torture, but with words. Even when he knows Diego as little more than a stranger, Reginald is able to rip off his skin and fling it in his face with a single diatribe; and even at 30, with years away from his dad, Diego is left unable to speak, feeling as if all of his accomplishments up to that point were the work of a dumb kid who thought he was smarter and more capable than he actually was.

Luther and Diego sharing a braincell. Luther has bad ideas. Diego has bad ideas. When they put their bad ideas together, they get terrible ideas. I loved watching them work together as a team, rather than being at each others’ throats for most of the season, even if I’m left hoping Olga Foroga had a pleasant and quiet day after that phone call.

Reginald. At first glance, it may look like the writers were trying to make him likable so they could parade him around as your average abusive-parent-with-a-soft-side. But it’s more nuanced than that. Abusive parents (and abusers in general) often fly under the radar because they fool outsiders into thinking they’re good people. They’re active in their communities. They give to charity. They have friends who attest to their virtue, significant others who think they’re the greatest. And that’s what we see with Reginald. We see him as the rest of the world did: an intelligent, eccentric man with a sharp sense of humor who cared deeply about scientific advancement. That’s how he evaded suspicion—because there were stories from years past of lively parties at his mansion, of what a gentleman he was to Grace and of how he did everything he could to save little Pogo. But those stories would all have come from people he considered his equals. When he’s with people he considers his inferiors—aka, the Umbrella kids—he’s openly condescending and demeaning. We get to see how he fooled the world, and it is chilling.

Elliot. He deserved better, and you can ship him with any one of the Hargreeves kids and get the cutest thing ever. 

The Swedes. They said so much while speaking very little.

Ben. He got more personality and screen time, and it was glorious. His love of his family and resentment toward Klaus practically leapt off the screen. The way he says “I’ve missed you all…so much” once they’ve all left was one of those right-in-the-feels moments; and watching him get so much of what he’s wanted for years when he possesses Klaus was beautiful.

Now, as for things I took issue with….

Ben. I understand why they ended his arc the way they did. I get that they were probably afraid the Klaus/Ben dynamic would grow stale if they didn’t change it somehow and wanted to give him a larger role in S3. His death(???) was heartbreaking and extremely well-done. But it also wasn’t foreshadowed. We never got any sense of what ghosts in the TUA ‘verse are, so the fact they can be destroyed by a ton of sound-turned-energy or by going too far into someone’s psyche or whatever happened….it’s not that it doesn’t make sense so much as there’s not enough evidence to determine whether or not it makes sense. It feels like the writers just kinda made that up so they’d have a reason to change Ben’s relationship dynamics, but if that’s the case, couldn’t they have done it another way? Couldn’t they have made it so the immense energy or psychic woo-woo or whatever gave him a power-up instead of destroying him? Vanya transferred some of her energy into Harlan and brought him back to life. Couldn’t something similar have happened with Ben? And if it tied him to Vanya as well as to Klaus, great! More fodder for angst and humor! (”Vannyyyyyyyy, stop hogging Ben!” “You got him for 17 years, Klaus, you can part with him for 20 minutes.” “Guys, don’t I get a say in this?”) I’m glad they didn’t write him out of the series entirely, but I still wish they’d kept him and all the character development he’d gotten throughout S2.

Episode 10. It looks like they tried to cram half a season’s worth of developments into 45 minutes. Twenty minutes in, I’d already said “Wait what the fuck” half a dozen times. A lot of those moments were explained later on, and I was able to make enough inferences to fill in any lingering plot holes, but…still. Too much stuff, too little time. E9 was a perfectly satisfying ending to the season. Yes, it leaves the siblings stranded in 1963, but they could’ve tied up those loose ends in the S3 premiere.

Lila. She’s an incredibly fun character, but her arc is kind of a mess. Most of that is due to E10, and I do feel that more time to let her arc breathe would’ve worked wonders, but I’m left feeling like her turn from “Handler is the best mom ever and I lurve Diego too” to “KILL DIEGO AND HIS EVIL FAMILY” to “Handler is a bad mom and Diego is right” happened too quickly.

The Commission. Okay, so, the Handler announces the entire Board has been killed, and she’s stepping in as director even though everyone appears to know she’s been demoted (and demoted pretty severely—she went from having an office bigger than some apartments to being a case management drone). There’s suspicion and lots of it. But then, La Resistance is….ten or so people in a single room? And when she calls the temps agents to her side, thousands of them show up ready and willing to fight and die? I dunno. Just seems like there should’ve been more splintering going on there. Again, I think they needed more time to tie everything up.

Aside from those complaints, I loved the season. I set aside most of a day to binge it, and I do not regret that decision at all.

[prettylittlebutterflie]

It All Started With A Break

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31840603

Okay, so I have fallen down the rabbit hole known as MariBat and I just can't stop all the ideas I have because of this and decided that enough is enough and I am doing it.

This is my very first fanfic - or any fic actually - but I hope you guys like it and be WARNED that some of you may find some part of this story that's similar with another and that may've been because I really liked the idea when I read it and wanna have a kinda similar thing here and the same goes with some trope of this fanfic in the future, but I'll do my best to keep it unique. I am also new to the DCU, but I'm doing research and planning to binge watch stuff and if you could please help this poor soul find a way to navigate and somehow get an idea on how that universe work (especially abt the batfam), I'll be forever grateful to thy savior.

This fic is canon until S4 Ep 1&2 (Truth & Lie) of MLU and as for the rest, I'll let you guys know.

So yeah, that's all. Enjoy and hope you guys like it. (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

P.S. Sorry I kinda ranted, this is my first time actually posting smth so bear with me people

SYNOPSIS

It’s been four years ever since Hawkmoth, who now goes by the name Shadow Moth, began his reign of terror in Paris. Four years worth of akumas that have brought pain and suffering. Four years of no rest in controlling their emotions, afraid of what may come if they were controlled.

After four long years, the Miraculous Team can finally see a ray of light. Everything they have sacrificed for that one goal they all share is finally going to be repaid… Not.

Locating Hawkmoth was easier said than done, and the frustration is finally getting to them. With that, it was decided that they need a break from their hero lives — ok, maybe not. After all, Shadow Moth is proving himself to be a workaholic (like dude, don’t you have anything better to do than destroy everyone’s schedule?) — but anyways, it was clear. THEY. NEED. A. BREAK. Away from Paris. Away from Hawkmoth. Away from the frickin akumas.

So yeah, that’s how it was decided (more like forced) that they are going to America to relax, let loose, and have some fun. After all, who knows, maybe a break is all they need to get things to start getting better — or worse.

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

PROLOGUE

“Alright. So, we are going to take a break—”

“For two months.”

“For two months. And because it’s supposed to be a break, that means—”

“No thinking of anything Moth related.”

“No thinking of anything Moth rela— Moth related?”

“You know, Hawkmoth, Red Moth, Shadow Moth, those Moths.”

“Right. Moths. Aside from Moths, it also means—’

“No thinking of akumas.”

“No thinking of akumas. For this entire break, we’re not going to think about—”

“Anything Miraculous related.”

“Anything Miraculous related. Alya, do you really need to do that every time I’m about to say it?”

“It’s because she knows you. We know you. It’s ridiculous, utterly ridiculous, how you always promise not to worry about something, especially anything Miraculous related, just to break it the moment anything related to it comes up. So, yes. She needs to say it and repeat it as much as possible for it to go through that head of yours.”

“Guys, I swear, I’m really going to follow through with this plan. I did agree that we need to unwind ourselves since we’re getting way too stressed and that won’t help us focus on our job.”

“Only after we bugged you about it. Get it? Bugged. Pfft—”

“Hey! Puns are my thing. And you shouldn’t be saying it like that. You’re making it ape-solutely obvious and that makes it not punny anymore”

“Dude, do you really have to do that? That’s so not paw-some. Pfft—”

“All puns aside, it is true that we had to convince you, Mari-hime, to agree on taking a break. Although I rarely take a break from fencing, my Mother and I are aware of the importance of having one and may I also remind you that you were the one who taught us that.”

“And that’s why I told you guys to go have one.”

“But you plus the kitty are the ones who need it the most. Remember what future-me said? About you two always leading us and how she— or rather I am the last one called upon? That means you guys are always gonna work while the rest of us may or may not be needed in some fights.”

“There is a 97.6% probability of you two showing up in fights.”

“Because we have to. It’s our responsibility as the one leading our team.”

“M’lady’s right. Besides, there were only the two of us in the beginning and with all the akumas, we just got used to it.”

“But that doesn’t mean you don’t need to rest. The music I’m hearing from both of you is filled with the stress you guys have and it doesn’t sound nice. Maybe you two unwinding will help make it more beautiful and even more powerful than before.”

“Fine. We’re all taking a break—”

“Especially you and Adrien.”

“Especially Adrien and I, for a month. Now, does anyone have any ideas on how we're gonna do that?”

“Ooh! Me, me! I have a competition coming up this summer break so I can’t really go anywhere too far since I have some training to do.”

“I’m sticking with the ape. Gotta keep an eye on him if I don’t want him messing up with the timeline. Plus, it’ll be pretty fun beating him up every time he asks for a challenge.”

“Hey!”

“The same goes for me. Someone has to make sure the correct time is recorded with not a single millisecond of it missed. Kwami knows how many times he messes it up whenever he does the recording himself.”

“Okay. So Kim, Alix, and Max will be staying in Paris. Are you guys sure that you’ll be able to take a break even if you’re in the city?”

“Yeah, we're fine. And I am totally beating you next time, little bunny.”

“Whatever. There’s nothing wrong with dreaming, y’know.”

“Anything else?”

“Oh, I have an internship in America this coming summer. The one at the Daily Planet. I just got the email and I was finally given an invite!”

“Really? Cool! Told you you’ll get it, babe!”

“Yeah! That’s really awesome, Alya! So I’m assuming you'll be accepting that?”

“You got it, girl! I mean, this is the Daily Planet we’re talkin’ about. I’ll learn so much about writing and journalism there, I’ve just got to take it.”

“So Alya’s going to America. Anyone else with plans outside of the country?”

“There will be an upcoming world-class fencing competition this summer and Mother and I have discussed my participation in it. It will be held in the States as well, specifically Gotham, two weeks before the end of the summer break. Maybe you should participate in it as well, Adrien. That way, you’ll have an excuse for your father to leave the country. I’m sure Mother will be happy to convince him as well to let you participate in it. That way, at the very least, I’ll have someone I know who’ll be an actual challenge.”

“Really? That actually sounds great! I’m sure Father would agree if your mother’s the one who suggested it. Thanks Kagami!”

“Okay. Kagami and hopefully Adrien will have a fencing competition in America too.”

“My Dad is having a tour in America right now. He’ll be having the last one at Metropolis during the summer break. He actually wants me to go with him, but I declined. It’ll be great if we all could go there and see it.”

“Dude, that’s so cool! Maybe you’ll even get to perform with your dad on stage. You did make that song with him that reached the record chart’s top. I’ve even made a playlist based on it.”

“Okay then, that makes Alya, Kagami, Adrien, and Luka going to the States. Chloe, do you also have plans to go there this summer? Maman said your mother was thinking of inviting you to be one of the models in an upcoming fashion show there.”

“She did mention something like that, but I wasn’t really paying attention to details once I found out that it’ll be outside of Paris. I’ll discuss it with her again then I can have my much needed vacation in the States.”

“So now that makes five of you going to America. Nino?”

“Well, I don’t really have any plans this summer. Just chill out and relax, y’know, make some playlist, listen to some music.”

“Ooh! How about you come with us, babe? That’ll be so cool and not all of us will be doing something most of the time while we’re there. You can just chill and relax there and maybe you could even study the kind of music they listen to and make a playlist out of it.”

“I would love to go, but I don’t think I really got the money for it. ‘Sides, my parents might not allow me to go out of the country.”

“You’re already 18 and if your parents ever say no, just tell them that you want to really relax, without keeping your emotions in check and have the freedom to let it out. I’m sure they’ll understand and unlike my Father, they actually listen to you.”

“As for the money, I have some savings and if you want I can lend you some-”

“But-”

“Lend. I’m not just giving it to you. You will have to pay me back, alright? And if you try to say no again, I’m going to insist that you don’t pay me anymore.”

“You sure? You're the best! Thanks, Minette.”

“No problem. So now that makes six of them—”

“Seven.”

“What?”

“Seven. We’re including you.”

“Me? But Alya, I already got plans this summer.”

“Plans? What plans?”

“I was planning on working on my commissions this summer an— Guys, can you all stop rolling your eyes on me and no, Chloe. I don’t need you doing it again.”

“Girl! We all agreed that we’re going to take a break this summer. How does doing your commissions sound like a break to you?”

“You all got your own thing to do this summer and mine just happens to be those. Also, the break was for anything Miraculous related. My commissions don't exactly fall under that.”

“Nope. We actually all agreed that for you, commissions should be added to the list of things you get to take a break from.”

“Adrien! I thought you’re supposed to be my partner? So much for the two of us against the world.”

“He is still your partner alright. But also, as someone who truly cares about you, he decided that you really needed a break. And besides girl, this could be your chance!”

“Chance? What chance?”

“Your pen pal! Doesn’t he live in Gotham? You could go and finally meet him. Who knows? Maybe something might happen.”

“Ooh, he’s from there? That’s awesome! You should totally go meet him. Maybe you could even go on a date or two-”

“A date?! Kim, he’s just a frie-”

“You stop right there, Dupain-Cheng! It’s ridiculous, utterly ridiculous! All of us already had enough with Adrikins always calling you ‘just a friend’ when it’s pretty obvious how totally untrue that statement was. We don’t need you ending up just like him, thank you very much.”

“But he really is-”

“Yeah right. If he really is just a friend, then why do you guys stay up all night talking to each other? You always immediately check your phone whenever a notif comes up and you smile like a love-sick fool whenever you read his messages for you. And don’t get me started on the way you gush about him non-stop.”

“There is something beautiful in your music whenever you talk or even think about him.”

“Your smiles are much brighter compared to before the two of you got to know each other.”

“Markov and I also have a record of your heartbeat and we have observed your heart beating faster whenever we talk about this certain topic.”

“And it's been more than a year since you two have become pen pals. The two of you are now so close that it’s a wonder why you guys still haven’t video-called each other just because you insist for your first time seeing each other to be in person.”

“I think it’s rather romantic. They’ll look into each other’s eyes for the first time then BAM! They’re finally together. But I still plan on giving him a shovel talk the first chance I get. Can’t have him break my twin’s heart without him knowing I have the god of destruction on my side.”

“What do you mean shovel talk- I mean, what even gives you the idea that he thinks of me that way for you guys to assume that we’ll end up in… in that kind of relationship?”

“He’d be an idiot if he still hasn’t fallen in love with you.”

“Literally almost everyone I know had a crush on you or have you forgotten already that my boyfriend’s one of those people?”

“I know for a fact that that’s true since I’ve already admitted that one of my reasons why I began bullying you back then was because I had a crush on you.”

“I must admit, I think I also had the same feeling towards you at the beginning of our friendship until I really got to know Luka and you helped us get together.”

“Oh! There’s also that. Do you actually know just how many people you’ve helped get together, buginette? Alya’s even written an article about it at the Ladyblog of how you are also known as Paris’s own cupid and how all of the couples you’ve paired ended up living a happy life together.”

“Everyone’s been saying how Ladybug’s the next best person they can go to if they ever want to find love after Andre.”

“And yet every time you try to pair yourself with someone, the magic just doesn’t seem to work.”

“So we all decided that we’ll be Ladybug’s cupid and pair her up with the boy she just can’t seem to get off of her head.”

“Now, you coming or what? I won’t be taking the money you’ll be lending me if you say no. I’m only going with these dudes if you also come or else I’ll just end up getting bored when there’s no one who can go around the city with me.”

“...”

“““...”””

“Fine. You guys win—”

“““YES!”””

“So here’s the final plan for the break. Kim, Alix, and Max will be staying in Paris for Kim’s competition, while the rest of us will be going to America doing our own stuff—”

“With you finally meeting your pen pal.”

“Yes. Alright. I’ll go and meet my pen pal. And during the break, no thinking about anything miraculous related. If ever there’s an akuma, only those who’ll be needed will go. Max will bring us to the akuma’s location and if there is anything going on that we can’t be excused of or if the fight goes longer than expected, Alix will bring us back in time making it look like we just went to the toilets, the usuals. Any questions?”

“““Non.”””

“Good. Operation: Taking a Break is good to go.”

@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@

Yay! Finally got to post it. So comments? What do you guys think and who do you think who is saying what? I know there will be new holders in S4, but I decided I’ll either make them a temp or they still don’t know the other’s identities bc of stuff, so yeah. Still thinking abt it. Adios (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31840603

[sparklyaxolotlstudent]

I reincarnated into the villainess of Miraculous Ladybug!

Part 2

WARNING 

kind of Max Salt

-

It had been only a day since Chloe became her new self, and things had been… interesting.

She had made amends with Sabrina, giving her a brooch as an apology for her behavior, even if she recognized that something material wasn’t enough to balance her bad attitude. Sabrina had just stared at Chloe, as did everyone else, even Miss Bustier when they heard Chloe, of all people, apologize and recognize she was in the wrong. Even Alya had stopped calling her “Antibug” after that.

With the help of Sabrina, her butler and the Ladyblog… and very little from her own memories, she had managed to create a timeline of the akumas that had already attacked. Her excuse was that now that they had been akumatized too, they had to become more concious of how it was happening.

And because she now knew who was behind the mask. Of course, she couldn’t tell this to them, but she was afraid that if she was akumatized again (was that even possible?) she could spill the beans about Marinette and Adrien and then all would be lost.

As she learned,s he had already been the cause of most of her classmates akumatizations, which hit her hard, especially Juleka’s as she always thought that had been one of Chloe’s cruelest actions… one of her cruelest actions, because she was Chloe, just with a new perspective of things.

And… well… Kim’s… because she always found him cute on the show. Nathaniel too. Well, all guys were kind of cute.

She didn’t know the specific dates of the rest of the classmates, but she knew Max’s had something to do with a game tournament, so she would have to be on the lookout for that, Mylene would be when they make a movie and Rose’s would be when Prince Ali visited.

…

At least Max’s was NOT her fault, even if basically everyone else was. She couldn’t believe how dumb she was. “A supervillain that can make people into murderous rage machines is on the loose and you make people hate you, you’re a genius Chloe. Might as well tattoo a bull’s eye on my forehead.”

“Please don’t do that Mademoiselle”

Chloe turned red. She had not realized Jean Phillipe had entered.  He immediately started apologizing, thinking she was mad at him.

“I’m only joking!... Maybe. Anyway, could you find that person?”

“There are several Asian old guys that give massages on Paris, it will take some more time to locate the specific one you want”

“That’s ok, thank you for your efforts”

“I… you’re welcome”

The butler scurried after that. Chloe could tell he was still a bit freaked out about her shift in personality. At least he had already gotten her the Ultimate Mecha Strike III game so she could participate on the tournament.

She was bad.

It’s not that she wasn’t familiar with games (She could totally kick some ass in Smash Bros before) but the controls didn’t make much sense, and the EXP and winning items meant that beginners had a clear disadvantage over more veteran players. Still, she could become a bit better about it.

She also couldn’t wait for Prince Ali’s visit! Of course, she was going to give him Rose’s letter, maybe introduce them if his bodyguard… assistant? That lady that accompanied him allowed it, but besides all of that… she would get to hold Tikki! The anthropomorphic representation of the concept of Creation would pretend to be a little toy. But hey, that was better than nothing.

-

The next day, Sabrina, loyal as ever, had told her about the Ultimate Mecha Strike III tournament, which would happen that same friday… but there was still no word of it at her own school.

Then she remembers that in the series, Alya and Marinette learned it last minute, and only people of Miss Bustier class participated… and with how the principal was portrayed in the show, and her own experience in her old life… well.

“MR DAMOCLES!” She yelled in the most respecting way she could. After being given permission to enter his office, of course. Sabrina was with her holding some posters and leaflets

“Miss Bourgeois, what is the meaning of this?” He said, trying to assert his authority. Chloe and Sabrina could tell that was not working. “You can’t just barge in my office and expect…”

“I asked permission to enter, and you gave it.” Chloe reminded the principal. “ANYWAY” she took a seat, and Sabrina took the other. Both of them put the posters and leaflets on Mr. Damocles desk. “The reason of this meeting is that it came to my attention the fact that the UMS company is making a national tournament in which any school can send two representatives, the best they have that can play Ultimate Mecha Strike III, the current Ultima Mecha Strike and…”

“… Isn’t that a videogame?” asked Damocles, equally confused at Chloe apparently liking video games and how polite she was speaking about it.

“… yes. I know my good friend Adrien Agreste likes it and…” Chloe could see how both Damocles and Sabrina made a ‘there it is’ face, but decided to ignore it. “And I thought it could be beneficial to the school to participate. So I took the liberty to commission these posters and leaflets so the gaming community in school can participate.”

“I don’t think the school has the budget to participate in…”

“I already spoke with my father, and he will gladly sponsor our school.”

“…”

“…”

“Well then, what do you need, Miss Bourgeois?”

Chloe talked about the applications Mr. Damocles would need to send to the game company and how they would need to make their own tournament to chose their representatives, and it should be the next day at the latest, or they wouldn’t be able to enter Friday. Mr. Damocles thought they had more time, but decided to not comment and humour Chloe, even if only she participated.

Satisfied, Chloe and Sabrina went to put the posters and to give leaflets to anyone who could be interested (She was amazed at how many of the people at school looked like each other).

“I did not know you liked video games” Said Alya sarcastically after lunch break was over and they were returning to their class room. Chloe made sure to give a leaflet to Marinette

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me” Chloe said with a smile, which freaked out Alya a little. Marinette looked at her very confused.

The class started and Chloe asked Miss Bustier to give the announcement of the tournament, which took her by surprise. Chloe liking videogames AND politely asking to give an announcement instead of just starting talking… maybe Marinette’s good example was finally working.

“As you might have noticed, I have been putting some posters about a tournament. Unfortunately, the city-wide tournament will be this Friday… and today is Wednesday, so we don’t have time. I managed to convince Mr. Damocles to held a school wide tournament tomorrow to choose two representatives of our school”

“You like video games?” blurted out Alix. Everyone was thinking the same.

“… To be completely honest, I only started playing after I was akumatized and was told I needed to relax and let out my aggression in a less harmful way. And I know Adrien likes the game, so I decided to give it a chance. Sabrina noticed there’s a tournament of that same game… apparently it happens annually and we just didn’t know, which I think is a shame, because I bet there are people at this school that must be amazing at the game. Maybe in this very classroom too!”

Everyone was speechless. Marinette wondered if she had somehow brainwashed Chloe when she used the Miraculous cure on her (Tikki later assured her that that was not possible).

“THAT’S AWESOME!” Kim finally broke the awkward silence. Chloe smiled at him, but he gave her a look that meant he was not over her rejection. He turned to Max. “That’s your game, isn’t it? You will surely win!”

“Yeah, I have been training on the game for months! I actually knew of that tournament, but never thought our school would participate, thanks Chloe!” Max’s eyes opened wide and looked at Kim whispering a “sorry”. Chloe pretended not to notice.

“No biggie, if I hadn’t liked the game, I wouldn’t have done this, so if you think about it, I’m as self-centered as ever”

“… what”

“Anyway, remember that this is a tournament, so even if you have been training, other people have probably done the same, so there is no guarantee that you will win”

Marinette could swear Chloe had looked at her on purpose when she said that. She didn’t remember talking about playing with her dad before. Had she? Wait, Chloe also mentioned that Adrien liked the game too, so she was probably looking at him. Typical Chloe.

-

The next day, the tournament was a success! Well, at least more successful than what Chloe remembered from the episode, where she only remembered Kim, Nino, Adrien and Max participating before Marinette joining them. It was sad, really. But now there were lots of people (most people she didn’t recognize).  With herself and Marinette there were exactly 32 people for the tournament. The way the game worked, elimination matches would not be viable, but rather, they would pair up for the first round, and the people with the better scores would go to the next round, even if they lost their match, and this way they would guarantee that only the best got to represent the school.  

Marinette had of course arrived last minute, and thankfully no one had accused her of trying to enter the tournament because her crush on Adrien, or given her grief over “taking Max spot” … yet… but Chloe was 100% sure she would rip anyone who dared imply that a new one. She had long decided she could keep being an asshole if she used those powers for good.

And of course, her first match was against Max. She wondered if she still had to respond to some kind of writer god or if the irony was just a natural part of this world. Either way, she hated it, specially when Max kicked her ass without barely breaking a sweat.

Everyone was expecting for her to throw a tantrum, demand a rematch, or something equally bratty, but she just turned to Max and extended her hand.

“Good match Max, you totally destroy… what’s that in your glasses?”

“Uh?”

A judge from the company, someone who hasn’t been present in the original timeline but had been hired by the Mayor, along with other arrangements asked Max for his glasses and saw that the boy had somehow connected them to the console. And it was deemed as an unauthorized aid in the tournament, disqualifying Max immediately, erasing his score.

Chloe went pale.

Max left the building, with everyone from their class giving the stink eye to Chloe, accusing her of doing Max dirty and buying the judge, which made him request for their removal too. Luckily, Adrien and Marinette hadn’t made those kind of comments (they were in their own matches and hadn’t noticed the whole thing).

“You’re the worst Chloe!” She could hear Kim claiming before being escorted out by security. (Another one of her dad’s arrangements)

“Fuck!” thought Chloe. “Is everything conspiring against me?”

The announcement was made about who would pass to the next round. Of course Chloe wasn’t chosen, and neither was Max.

“Hey Chloe! You did good for being your third day of playing” Greeted Adrien after the results had been posted. Both him and Marinette had placed second and first place respectively.

“… I somehow managed to be 40st place out of 32 participants.”

“…”

“…”

“It could have been worse. Anyway, have you seen Max? And the others? Kim kept saying that Max had trained all year, but I didn’t see his name anywhere”

“Yeh… there was a bit of a problem and…”

“CHLOE!” Marinette appeared and she did not look happy. “Did you got Max disqualified from the tournament just because you lost?”

Marinette was taken aback when Chloe looked… ashamed? She was not expecting that.

“If I had that kind of power, I would have given myself a much better place than 40, you know”

“Is that true? Max was disqualified?”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t know his modified glasses technically counted as cheating”

Ok, now Marinette AND Adrien were a bit freaked out. They had NEVER heard Chloe said sorry before, and they found it a bit jarring.

Chloe sighed.  “I’m like 99% sure that now Max will be akumatized and will target me. At least it’s not Marinette this time.”

Marinette and Adrien blinked in surprise and confusion.

“What”

“I mean… uh… your score is WAY higher than what his was, even with those glasses… HEY, I bet that’s where the akuma would be, I’ll make myself scarce and tell Ladybug that when she appears to save my butt again. ANYWAY, maybe I’m wrong and he will not be akumatized, either way I’ll go just in case so he doesn’t target the school. OH! Hey, if you both win you will be partners, how cool is that? Good Luck on your games guys!”

And she was gone before they could really react. After Marinette rage and confusion ended, she realized she was “alone” with Adrien. She ran to the bathroom to freak out properly. There, Tikki convinced her that Chloe was probably wrong and she should keep at the tournament, especially since her parents had been so happy for her participation. It would be less than an hour anyway.

Meanwhile, Chloe was outside her hotel, and of course, she had sent Sabrina inside for some refreshments, and had changed into comfortable clothes for running.

And lo and behold, the giant robot from the game was coming for her.

“OH, COME ON!” yelled Chloe, after the Gamer had tried his laser on her, and she had been pushed by Sabrina to safety.

“Chloe! Hahaha Do you still think I’m a cheater??” said the gamer in a deranged voice.

Chloe stood up. Dusted herself and looked the weird pyramid thing directly at the eye.

“You are attacking defenseless civilians that did absolutely nothing to you, while piloting a high-tech robot, giving you all the advantage, OF COURSE YOU’RE A FUCKING CHEATER YOU CHEATING CHEAT”

“what” The Gamer was expecting Chloe to be terrified, not to get sassy.

Chloe had not expected her own reaction either. But since it had stunned the Gamer, she decided to go for it.

“Your grudge is against me, isn’t it? And yet you transformed Sabrina into easy EXP for your unauthorized aid” she had chosen her words carefully. The same ones as his glasses had been described.

“That was meant for you and you know it! Sabrina was collateral damage because of you!” Another ray, which Chloe miraculously (heh) managed to dodge, thanks to her own athletism.

She made a mental note to thank her dad for the dance and gymnastic classes later.

“And all the other people? Uh? Besides, like in the game, it would be way too easy to defeat me with that thing… or is that the only way you can win against the Great and Powerful Chloe Bourgeois?”

The Gamer was about to get out of his robot, when it suddenly broke. Chat Noir had broken it with a Cataclysm.

“Quick, grab his stupid glassed before he cheats AGAIN!” yelled Chloe to the pair of heroes, hoping to also distract the Gamer. Ladybug seemed to have learn her lesson from last time and quickly threw her yoyo to the glasses, breaking them.

“No more evil doing for you!” yelled Ladybug, catching the butterfly and releasing it. “Bye-bye little butterfly! Mirac…” She looked awkwardly. She hadn’t called a Lucky Charm yet.

“Huh… Lucky Charm” she said in a deadpan. A Spray Can paint. She shrugged. “Miraculous Ladybug!”

Sabrina and the rest of the population are restored, as is Max.

Chloe almost regrets ending the fight so quickly, as she would have loved to see the giant mecha fights. But she guessed traumatizing people for her amusement shouldn’t happen.

“I’m sorry, it was not my intention to get you disqualified. I also don’t think you were cheating. Not on purpose, anyway.” she apologized to Max, offering a hand so he could get up. He seemed confused, and still a bit annoyed at her, but accepted the hand. “I’ll vouch for you; you might need to fight again for a score and…”

“No, it was my mistake in the first place. I have been using these glasses for so long I completely forgot about them. I will use normal glasses for play and maybe next year I can be one of the contestants. I hope you get better for a rematch too.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ll kick my arse glasses or not, but I accept the rematch.”

“Well, it seemed they’re keeping a clean score!” Chat Noir tried to pun. Ladybug rolled her eyes.

Now that she wasn’t in mortal peril, she looked at them. REALLY looked at them.

She knew those two were Marinette and Adrien but… they kind of looked like them, but at the same time, they didn’t? Like when you kind of recognize someone, but can’t place where do you remember them from? It was weird, the more she tried to recognize Adrien’s features on Chat Noir, the more different they looked. Same with Ladybug. It was giving her a headache, so she stopped trying.

The heroes said their good-byes, and Chloe, Sabrina and Max decided to return to school to see the rest of the tournament. Chloe noticed Sabrina was a bit weirded out, and decided to later ask her dad for therapist for her and anyone else that might need it from this attack… and all the others… it was probably not the first time someone had been… killed? Erased? attacked In an akuma attack.

She also remembered reading somewhere that Adrien and Marinette hadn’t been akumatized not because their Miraculous, but Marinette for having such a positive outlook in life, and Adrien for being a pessimist, so that might be worth looking for too.

Like she had thought, Adrien and Marinette ended up winning the school tournament, and were chosen to represent the school.

They had been a bit freaked out when Chloe acted all giddy about them having to train all afternoon together.

They did end up winning for the school.

Chloe and Max had played together a couple of times in friendly matches after that. Max won every time.

-

Yeah, I'm reading some popular timelines, I don't know if I'll write all the ones "missing", but at least the ones with the classmates will be done.

And yes, she ships the Love Square.

[popculturebuffet]

Sparkshortstravaganza! (Commissioned by WeirdKev27)

Well this was a needed kick in the pants. When I first heard of the Sparkshorts program I was excited. As a kid I loved PIxar, as an adult I love pixar and as an old man dealing with the loss of his partner floating away in my balloon house, i’ll still love pixar. So the idea of a program focused on giving new fresh talent the room to do whatever they wanted and make content that would be on Disney Plus, a platform BADLY bereft of original animation? It was a dream come true and the first one I saw Kitbull is easily a masterpiece and something that I can vividly recall every part of to this day, which for my terrible short term memory recalling EVERYTHING is a rare feat few works have achived.  But given I have a REALLY bad habit of letting things I want to watch sit there if I don’t jump on them immediately.. I let it sit there and didn’t touch any of the shorts and mostly forgot about the program until now. Until Kev, my patron and the only person paying for reviews at the moment, though others are more than welcome wink wonk, just decided what the heck and to test out comissioning shorts picked these ones because why not. And given I had been dragging my feet and reading the descriptions found creative and suprisingly heavy premises... I was fully on board And better late than never because along with Soul this program has EASILY restored my faith in the company after Onward really disapointed. Granted they’ve done worse, while there are pixar films I haven’t seen I need to like Coco or Cars 3, I’ve vowed NEVER to watch Cars 2 unless I have to and that vow has served me well so far. The shorts here are as a whole beautifully animated, have a ton of wonderful concepts and even the two weaker ones are still gorgeous to look at and a decent watch regardless and both come from a very well meaning place with a very well meant message. So yeah i’m thankful for this comission and to show you why let’s go through every Sparkshorts so far and see why their so awesome.. after some background of course. 

Sparkshorts, for the uniniated, is a program by pixar where animators are given six months and a limited budget to create a film based on personal experince. The program was designed to test out new ways of animating, directing and creating and to find a creative “spark” in it’s employees. Thus each film feels unique, has it’s own style.. and is utterly charming. I’ll be looking at them chronologically as while this wasn’t my watch order, I feel it’s a bit neater that way. I’ve already taken long enough to get to watching these, let’s open these films up and see what makes them tick shall we?

Purl: An Adorable Yarn Ball Vs Toxic Masculinity  Purl.. was better the more I thought about it. The first short released, it DOES have a good message and killer animation. The film takes place at B.R.O., a dude broey brockerage firm that’s painfully relasitic both in how broey it is and in how it looks. That’s to contrast our heroine: Purl, an adorable ball of yarn who just wants to be accepted but is instead ignored by the rest of the company till she changes herself up, donning a suit like her co workers she badly wants to fit in with and adopting their wolf of wallstreet esque douchebaggery. She finally gets accepted.. but ends up shedding her new self to help another Yarn Ball starting up.  Director Kristen Lester drew from personal experince, starting work at animation in a mostly male dominated workplace and thus having to adapt and only letting the femine side she’d repressed out when she moved to working at pixar, which had more female employees. The film DOES have a good message about toxic workplaces and toxic masulinty and learning the personal story did raise it a few notches as it made it clear to me that what SEEMED like an over exageration.. was probably just a light exageration given the kind of bro antics we’ve heard about at companies like Ubisoft. So while I didn’t like the film much at first honestly.. it’s over the top because it NEEDS to be because even though it’s 2021.. some idiots STILL don’t get it and kids are better off learning it now so it’ll hopefully stick when their entering the workforce. So we’ll get more people like perl willing to make a change and stick up for those like her and less dude bros. Still a decent and clever short with Perl’s bro form looking really neat and the animation on her in general is really fucking gorgeous. All in all not the best of these but still pretty good and while a bit thick on the message.. it kinda has to be. 

Smash And Grab: A Jaunty Ride to Freedom

This was a really fun one. Directed by Brian Larson and inspried by his need for a break from routine this follows two robots, the titular smash and grab who are designed to well.. smash and grab coal-like energy things for a train and have for years and years. The two long to high five, but can’t because their hooked to tubes so they can’t escape. But one day Smash looks out the window and not only sees fellow robots living a better life.. but a way to power him and his buddy/love intrest? I mean bromance or romance, either way it works. Point is our heroes escape, and have to fight security.  It’s just a really damn fun and creative movie. While robots wanting a better life isn’t new, the crisp art deco animation, breakneck pace, fun gags and heartwearming relationship between the two bots is just charming as hell. It’s just a fun ride the whole way through with a lot of heart and creativity with the two’s way they throw coal to one another used to take out the guards, and all together just some really good set pieces. Easily one of my faviorites here and that’s a high water mark to pass. 

Kitbull: Tiny Orphan Kitty + Big Abused Doggo = Best Friends

As I said this is the only one of these I saw before today and as I said it’s stuck with me. I love dogs. I have one of my own named Yoshi whose just a sweet boy. So i’ve always loved ALL DOGS.. and was thus horrified years ago when I learned about the stigma Bulldogs get. Seen as “agressive’ and “Mean’ and victious.. when really a lot of them, including my grandpa’s own pitbull when I was little, are just loveable as any other dogs. And having also known a former fighting dog my friend owned, if a much smaller min pin rather than a pitbull, who by the time I met him had become the sweetest dog you’d ever meet.. yeah.. don’t mistreat a dog just because some assholes force it to fight to the death because their sick, horrible, ghastly human beings.. if they can even be CALLED human beings after doing that to these poor animals.  My point is it’s nice to have a short about such a needed subject. Director Rosana Sullivan actually had the idea for the short for years and intended to do it as a side project, but when the program cropped up she moved it to pixar and the result is one of the most popular and easily one of the best of an already bright bunch, brought on by her love of animals and working in a shelter. It’s also one of Pixar’s first 2d animated projects and proves their just as good at that as cgi.  It’s the touching story of a kitty whose alone in the world and initally mistrustful and hissy at a big dog she finds and is naturally scared of.. until she grows to bond with the dog, realizing much like a LOT of fucking people need to that pitbulls.. are just dogs and often victims of circumstance and the poor, sweet pooch who just wants his owner to love him.. is instead thrown into a fighting pit, nearly killed and forced to make a daring escape with their new forever friends help. It’s through this wonderful, heartrending friendship that the dog finds freedom and the cat.. finds them both a home, no longer running from people but instead making sure they both get a person. It’s often brutal at times, with the scene of the dog being forced to fight being one of the most striking: while we thankfully don’t see the action, we HEAR IT, as does the poor kitty, and we see the aftermath: a friendly harmless dog thrown out into the cold just because it dosen’t WANT to fight. It’s just really heartrending stuff that makes the happy ending all the better. It’s also gorgeiously animated which I mentioned but i’ll say it again; the animation here is GOREGOUS, unqiue and stunning. Go watch this if you haven’t. 

Float: This is Why Krakoa Exists

This.. has easily been the hardest to review of the bunch. While ALL of these stories are very personal, very inclusive and very intresting, this one.. is a bit rougher than most of them and hits REALLY close to home. See this one was built out of director Bobby Rubio’s experinces raising his son who has autisim. 

It’s about a dad who discovers his infant son can float... and thus gets stares of fear or judgment from eveyrone around him slowly getting broken down by this. So he makes a HORRIBLE judgment call and rather than just accept some people are assholes, weighs his son’s backpack down with stones despite him hating it then drags him away when he ends up floating off, before screaming at the poor kid WHY CAN’T YOU BE DIFFRENT.. He DOES instantly regret this and the ending is genuinely touching as the father finally accepts his son is different and throws him into the air while on a swing, letting his son soar as he always should’ve. It is a beautifully animated and well meant film and the filipino representation is truly great: Rubio originally was going to have the characters as white but his fellow animators convinced him to go for represntation and be true to himself and honestly in a time when disney itself has had to be fought to get queer representation most of the time, it’s nice that pixar at least is a part of it that throughly encourages representation and will gladly put diversity and representation over any bullshit “risk factors”.  That being said.. while this was a decent short with a very well intentioned message and it clearly connected with a lot of people.. it wasn’t for me and I say this as someone who has autisim. As someone who has worn down people’s patince and been starred at by a freak for something I was way too young to properly deal with.  I’ve been in this Kid’s shoes. 

And that’s the problem: The metaphor dosen’t really work for me. While auitism CAN have some benifits and I wouldn’t be any other way i’d be lying if I said it was easy having trouble commuincating, constnatly misreading people, constnatly worrying if someone’s going to like you, and hyperfocusing on a problem instead of being able to set it and forget it for a bit to my own detriment. There’s other problems and not ALL of my issues come from anxiety disorder: I also have anxiety and depression. They just bleed badly INTO said autisim sometimes, as it’s hard to effectively combat anxiety sometimes when your mind won’t let you. 

What i’m saying is... there aren’t any FAULTS in his powers. See i’m a fan of x-men, so I can only see this boy as a mutant, and yes I know they usually manfifest at puberty but there have been exceptions so don’t at me.. and one of them who has no real downsides other than the unfair stigma of being a mutant. He’s more like storm, who can control the elements and whose power only enhances her life nad lesss like say Rogue, who looks normal.. but can’t touch anyone without knocking them out at best or horribly abosrbing them into her head at worst. There’s no downside other than the fact people judge him and his dad is a dick about it.  And the dad part is hard because I get what Rubio is going for: parents make mistakes, parents mess up and their only human even if they should embrace their kids anyway. That’s a good message and one I support.. I just think Rubio was way TOO hard on himself and thus made his stand in into an unlikeable asshole, one whose more concerned with how everyone ELSE thinks and does the horribly abusive action of basically tying his son’s wings down so he can’t fly. He mans well, it’s so his son dosen’t float off.. but instead of finding a way to help him and work with him on it.. he just stuffs rocks in his back and forces the kid to be miserable so other people can be happy. It just goes way too far in the other direction to work. As I said I think it’s the guy being too hard on himself, manifesting his worst moments with his kids and his biggest regrets and making himself into a very hard to like character because he has trouble forgviing himself for how he acted. So I want to say if you ever read this bobby while I wasn’t hte biggest fan of your film.. I do wholly support you and your son.. and the fact you made an entire FILM just to show your sturggle and show people there not alone was a beautiful act. You are not a bad person , we all make mistakes and we’re all just human. You are a good man Bobby Rubio. I may of not liked your metaphor... but your message is beautiful. 

Wind: Immigration by Way of Rocket Science

Thankfully moving on.. this one is tied with Kitbull for my faviorite. It has a truly intriguing premise, a great metaphor, stunning animation, and is just really moving, gripping and fun to watch. This one was by Edwin Chang, and as is usualy by now, it was built on personal experince.. but not his. It was built on the fact his father was an immigrant who had to leave his mother, Chang’s grandmother, behind to a better life. She rejoined them eventually but it left an impact on his father and thus serves as the core of this story. And honestly knowing that only STRENGTHENS an already impresssive sci fi short.  It’s the story of a boy, apparently named Ellis so i’ll use that, and his grandmother who live in a bizzare, hauntingly beautifuly stygian sinkhole that has floating rocks and debris. The two spend their day farming potatoes and grabbing whatever they can to hopefully make their way out. But it becomes clear to young Ellis after they find a plane his grandmother wants HIM to go alone and escape and is willing to sacrifice herself.. and ends up having to trick the boy into thinking sh’es going along in order to get him to do what he needs to surivive and thrive. It’s a truly gut wrenching story as even when she seems to have found a way for them both to leave.. it’s very clear she’s simply training him with all the welding tools and what not so he has skills to make it out there on his own in the unknown. So he can live without her.. but more importantly.. so he CAN LIVE. Away from the darkness, not having to scrape and to surivive and hopefully find something better out there. While the old parental figure sacrifciing thsmelves so the youngun can start hteir journey isn’t new.. it’s the unique, beautiful and haunting setting and the emotoin, conveyed only through the utterly beautiful animation that make this story feel fresh, along with it’s great metaphor. This short is just haunting, beauitful and really damn sad, and I only dont’ have all that much to say because it’s all in the visuals. The only thing I have left is like all of these really, watch it. But especailly this one. 

Loop: Enough Said

This is part of the reason I didn’t like Float all that much. Loop is just.. way better at conveying the experinces of having auitism. While Renee is a more severe case than me I can relate to what kicks off the film: Renee, usually paired with an adult at the camp she at, is forcibley paired with a chatty boy named Marcus. While Marcus is eager to go home and has no idea how to interact with the two the two genuinely bond, with Marcus slowly getting into Renee’s world. The key scene for this and the one that clinches the film is Renee waving her hands over the reeeds in the water, throughly enjoying it with marcus not getting it.. till he tries himself. Director Erica Milsom, whose worked with autistic children and picked this medium entriely because i’ts perfect for a non verbal character and is one that can tackle heavy issues like this in a way to help people understan, really wanted to counter most depections of severe autisim, paticuarlly sensory issues. While we see the good in them instead of JUST her freaking out or being overwhelemed: how her sounds and the things she feels truly relax her and how she really DOES enjoy nature and is perfectly at home there. It’s just a beautiful way to show this disablility is not ALL bad, as many works tend to focus soley on the drawbacks. While I had my issues with Float part of it was it had too much good.. but Loop is superior at this simply because it shows both with unflinching honesty: The beauty of something that calms and relaxes your brain or a touch or sensation that just FEEELS really good, things that while again i’m not on the same level as Renee.. I can still fully relate to.  But what puts it over float besides not having a messy metaphor is it DOES show the issues that come with it.. but does so WELL and with nuance. It shows how isolating autisim can be, especially for someone like Renee who can’t talk, how people are sometimes freaked out by you and don’t know how to interact with you and how adults can MEAN WELL, and the counsler setting them off was a good idea in the end... but can also be misguided and not fully know how to handle you without overwhelming you. It shows just how bad a panic attack can be, how you can just.. shut down and drive away. It was easily the sequence that hit the hartest and resonated the most as I’ve had those, and i’ve just shut down with no one able to reach me.. and it makes it all the more touching as Marcus eventually realizes how to handle things, and gives her space despite the setting son and the peril of being stranded.. because he realizes she needs it and offers to simply be there when she’s ready. It’s a touching, wonderful gesture, capped by him giving her a reed.. and the two heading home finally udnerstanding one another.This one is very close to wind in my heart and I think I found even more love for it writing this review and realizing just how much it hit me. And that ain’t bad. 

Out: Be Proud of Who You Are.. with the help of a gay cosmic space cat 

Speaking of hitting close to home and really resonating with me, we have Pixar’s first short with a gay main character, with his sexuality being the center of this. And as a bi person who had struggle accepting his sexuality let alone telling anyone, even when you know someoen will likely accept you.. this naturally hit hard. I took some time to realize I was bi, and when I did I was terrified of telling my mom, despite her being loving, supportive and just wonderful, same with my brother. Both fully accepted me as I figured and had no issue with it, esepcially sine my romantic history is nearly non existant anyways, but I related to our hero Greg’s fears of coming out to his parents despite them being utterly wonderful, well meaning people. It’s hard to come out, it’s hard to admit that about yourself, and it’s hard knowing you may not be accepted or things may change. I had an even harder time coming out to my dad, who I fully expected being a trump supporter and having said “if gay marriage is leagal I should be able to marry my cat”, to not support me and to loose him.. and was proud and suprised when nope, he was utterly supportive and happy for me.. if a bit awkward with the “be careful with sex” advice.. to someone whose had none and may never will due to being awkward as shit. But he meant well and the point is I really related to this, and it’s easily one of the best coming out stories of this kind, tied handily with Schitt’s Creek’s episode about Patrick coming out to his parents that dealt with the same theme.  And naturally given the nature of these shorts it was a story close to Stephen Clay Hunter’s heart, as he group up a gay nerd in the 80′s a time when homophobia was even worse and representation was near non-existent. So when given the shot he wanted to make something for a young him, something they can look at and point to and tha’ts me. And the behind the scenes short for this one sold just how... big this felt for him. To draw two men in love and embrcing, to see guys mo capping that. To see someone LIKE him on screen. It shows just how important representation is and how dumb it is it took 20 goddamn years at pixar for them to get gay. 

The short itsel is delightful as we open with a gay space cat and dog appearing in a rainbow. The Cat and Dog are watching Greg, a nice young man whose moving out of his small town with his boyfriend Manuel.. only to panic when his parents who he hasn’t come out to show up to help move and try and hide the one photo he has of them. And despite Manuel seeing it as a very easy thing to do to come out.. it’s not for Greg. He knows it’s hard and a scene of him practicing shows the poor guy breaking down at the thought of telling them despite getting every indicatio their nice people.  It’s then the whole Space Cat thing comes in as the cat enchanted Greg’s dog’s collar, so when greg puts it on as  a jest, it’s a body swap! So naturally we get tons of REALLY well animated shenanigans as Greg has to get his body back. Seriously the animation here is gorgeous with director Hunter choosing the painted on , impercet style to give it a storybook feel which fits the story perfectly.. seriously if Disney hasn’t made a story book of this do so.. and if they won’t someone on etsy do it because Etsy is apparently where the merch companies should be making happens.

The point is it’s fun, furious and leads to some great gags.. and then we get the emotional punch to the godnand as Greg bites his mom’s hand in order to prevent her finding a photo of him and his boyfriend. He instnatly regrets it, and breaking the photo in the process and goes to comfort her.. and we get easily the most emotinal, most beautiful part of it as Greg finds out his mom is hurt as she can clearly tell he’s keeping her at arms length and dosen’t want to loose him.. and she’s known all along he was gay.. just like the Schitts Creek example it’s clear she’s hurt a bit her son is scared to tell her but just wants him to be happy. So with a brilliant use of a squeaky toy greg switches back.. and comes out, with his dad warmly hugging miguel when he introduces himn and the space dog crying. Just a beautiful, charming, fun, and gorgeously animated short with some badly needed representation.

Also... one last note. This isn’t related to the short.. but Disney, who once again proves they can’t be progressive without stabbing themselves in the foot and no I will not stop giving out about this. This time’s especailly bad as while Out was heavily promoted.. the descripton DOSEN’T mention it having Pixar’s first gay lead and goes out of it’s way to hide Greg being gay despite the fact the short dosen’t and his being in the closet is the whole conflict of the short. And the not mnentiong the first gay lead thing is noticable because Loop DID rightly point out it was their first non verbal proganist. You can’t.. brag about being progressive about one thing and then try to hide your being progressive about another you idiots. Plus the “pleasing the bible belt” ship has sailed and left port. Ducktales is gay as hell with Penny being gay, even if Disney won’t let her just come out and say it, the crew still had her say it as much as they could, Violet’s dad’s being gay, Della being bi and Webby and Lena being as close to a couple you can get without disney screaming at them no. Andi Mack is fully avaliable on D+ as well.. well okay not fully because the dad turned out to be a pedophile, but still a series with a fully gay character is out there. And finally Owl House got TONS of press for having a bi progatanist and having her love intrest be a girl. Even if Dana Terrance had to FIGHT for that, and rightly so good on her, the point is you have queer characters already. The groups that hate you for that aren’t going to magically stop hating you because you hide the fact a short anyone can see from minute one is very , beautifully gay, I mean it starts with a very swishy space cat emerging from a rainbow atop a pink dog. COME ON. I only have a few words left for disney..

Okay whew, one more and we’re out of here. 

Burrow: It’s Okay to Ask for Help and To Bang a Willing Salamander This was the first one I watched today. In hindsight had I properly researched the shorts and realized how heavy they were I probably would’ve saved this one for later to help balance out the deep feels of some of these. While Burrow is VERY VERY good, as all these shorts have been even Float, it’s subject matter is a lot lighter. I mean so far we’ve had stories about toxic masculinity, animal abuse, issues accepting your child is diffrent, sacrficing yourself so your loved one can have a better life, autisim and coming out of the closet. Even Smash and Grab which is light and breezy.. still has a disney death, and is still about a heroic rush to freedom from slavery whenyou think about it. This one.. is about an insecure bunny whose afraid to ask for help and ends up learning to get it while ending up plumiting through a bunch of comedic set pieces. It’s basically if Winnie the Pooh and Bugs Bunny had a baby comedy wise, it has the warm feeling of pooh art wise, a storybook quality tha’ts utterly adoring.. but director Madeline Sharafan specifccally wanted the animators to take after chuck jones, using lots of great expressions and reactions. It has a real classic theatrical screwball comedy vibe and given The Looney Tunes, Droopy, and Tom and Jerry mean the world to me and i’m glad nto reocnnect with 2/3 thanks to HBO Max.. I fucking loved it. 

Burrow is still a personal story and is based on Sharifan’s experinces having trouble colaberating, wanting something to be fully baked before showing it off, something I agian relate to. She often hid from the others and refused to show her work until it was done while everyone else was happy to help. And as the previously used to slam disney hard with something they own Hickman Era of X-men has shown.. colaboration is just better and more freeing. By having friends and colleuge s to bounce off of you refine ideas, see how people react to them and grow a bit and that’s what the shorts about. 

The plot is easily the simpliest of these: A young bunny wants to build her dream burrow but gets self concious when she runs into a friendly mole and rat living next door to where she wants to build and keeps digging to find both privacy and her own place.. and instead ends up digging into various shenangians and other burrows from frogs, to hedgehogs to most memorably some Salmanders taking a sauna.. and in the best and most ‘how the fuck did they get away with this bit of it”, one of the salamanders ends up .. gladly removing his town and being liike “You wanna do this? I mean I got an hour free” And i’m just saying while now wasn’t the time and the offer was a little awkward i’d go for it if I was her. I mean at least ask him out for coffee later. He seems nice enough if low on boundries. Then ride him until the morning light girl, ride it. She also finds the Demon Bear from New Mutants at one point.. so that’s where he retried to after danny kicked his ass again. Neat. 

But eventually our heroione digs herself too deep and ends up hitting water before finding a 

Who sees her crumpled plans and then does the stygian call of the badger to call all the other animals to help and after they escape the flood, the bunny finally realizes their good people and lets them see the plans. So we end on our heroine and her new friends and possible salamander lover helping her settle in as she finallyg ets the home she wanted, complete with disco. I mean every home should have a disco. If I didn’t have a ceeling fan i’d have a disco ball.. and I still want one just to set somewhere or hang away from the fan . Let me dream dammit. Overally a fun, hilarious, mad dash short with a good message and a good note to go out on.

Final Thoughts: Overall.. the Sparkshorts program is fucking spectacular, a great way to let some of Pixar’s staff get into the directors chair and really shine, and a way to tackle issues that they may not be able to get greenlit into a full film. Lushily animated, well produced, Pixar has announced MORE are coming and I cannot wait. Thank you kev for comissioning this, and thank you all for reading. If your new and liked this review, follow this blog as I talk disney all the time: when they come back i’ll be doing regular coverage of Amphibia, Ducktales and the Owl House as new episodes come out every week, and i’m currently doing a retropsective on the three cablleros kev also paid for, with the finale of it, an episode by episode look at the legend of the three cablleros, starting this week. I’m also covering LIfe and times of scrooge mcduck (though infrequently for a bit), and finishing up a look at darkwing duck’s just us justice ducks, started with looks at all the players involved and finshing next week with the episode itself.  So if any of that sounds good to you, check out the archives, but goodbye, goodbye, goodbye for now. 

[janaikam]

My second to last commission for the @mlbforblm drive. This one was a pool request by @chatnoirinette for a djwifi date with marichat/ladrien. Because I’m marichat trash I decided to make this one with djwifi and marichat. I hope you all enjoy!

Thank you @marikittynoir for betareading!

Summary: Walking back home one night, Alya spots Marinette letting Chat Noir into her room. Alya and Nino accidentally uncover a bit more than expected when confronting their friend about the situation.

X

“Nino, I’m fine. This isn’t the first time I’ve walked back home alone.” Alya held her phone close to her ear as she glanced from side to side, watching for cars before crossing the sidewalk.

She was passing by her old college, Francois Dupont, which meant she had only a ten-minute walk left until she got home safe and sound.

Unfortunately, Nino wasn’t having any of that.

“Yeah, you do, but normally you’re walking in the daylight not the middle of the night!” Nino exclaimed on the other end. She could just imagine him pacing in his room, worrying about her. Nino was super sweet and she loved that he cared so much, but times, like this, it could be really annoying.

“I didn’t mean to stay so long at the library on purpose, but hey, at least I didn’t stay until dawn again! Plus this time I called you,” Alya pointed out.

The library Alya had just come from was this new 24 hour one that opened up. They had regular library hours, but if you wanted to stay behind and do your own research they let you pay for a membership. Alya had jumped on the opportunity as soon as she heard that they had a whole section on superheroes. There had been many times when she either stayed at the library all night or fallen asleep and Nora had to come pick her up because it got too late.

Tonight she really tried to leave at a decent time. She had even set an alarm, but that darn snooze button would be the death of her. She had been doing some research on past Ladybug miraculous users for the Ladyblog, and by her probably 10th time pressing snooze, she had noticed a bunch of college-aged students glaring at her. She had packed up everything really quickly and exited the building before checking the time on her phone. It had been 11:00 P.M.

“Do I have to start coming with you to make sure this stops happening?”

Alya rolled her eyes as she stopped at the crosswalk not too far from the Dupain-Cheng bakery. The bakery lights were off, but she could see Marinette’s bedroom light still on. Hmm. Maybe she could throw pebbles at her window like a little Romeo. But then Marinette would convince her to stay the night and she couldn’t afford to do that.

“No, dad. I’m fine. In fact, I’m about to pass by Marineee…” Alya trailed off, staring blankly at Marinette’s balcony.

Alya watched as Chat Noir landed on top of the balcony. He knocked twice before Marinette’s head poked out of the trapdoor and she kissed him on the cheek before moving so Chat could enter her room.

“Alya?! Are you there? What’s wrong?” Nino’s panicked voice interrupted Alya’s racing thoughts.

Alya gulped as the crosswalk light turned green, but she didn’t move an inch too scared that she might unravel what she just witnessed.

“Nino, I think Marinette is dating Chat Noir.”

                                                           XXX

No one could ever say Nino never supported Alya.

Alya wanted to be the power duo at Just Dance? He broke out his best dancing shoes and helped her climb to the top.

Alya wanted to chase akumas? Nino was there by her side, making sure she didn’t kill herself in the process.

Alya wanted to be a superhero? Nino was Rena Rouge’s number one fan and everyone knew it.

Alya wanted to help track down Hawkmoth? Well, Nino was more than happy to give the old fart a piece of his mind.

But when Alya suggested her best friend was dating the cat-themed superhero of Paris? Well, that was just a little too hard for him to believe.

Ignoring the fact that Marinette has a giant crush on his best friend, Chat Noir just wasn’t her type. Marinette never seemed to be interested in the boastful arrogant types. At least from what he remembered about her. But then again he could be wrong about her. Heck, he could even be wrong about Chat Noir. Yet none of that even began to explain why the two of them would be spending time with each other that they would start to even date.

It just made 0 sense.

“Nnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnooooooooooo,” Alya drawled. “I know what I saw. Marinette kissed Chat Noir and then proceeded to let him into her room!”

“Maybe it isn’t what you think it is?” Nino suggested hopefully.

“What am I supposed to think, Nino!? That my best friend is just sneaking a boy in a leather-looking magical catsuit into her room in the middle of the night for the heck of it?”

Nino shrugged. “They could just be friends who are hanging out? Chat Noir doesn’t always have to parade around as Paris’ superhero. He’s probably just a normal everyday person and Marinette decided to help him feel normal. I mean Marinette is super nice about those things.”

“But the kiss! The Kiss, Nino!”

“Uhh...maybe they’re friendly? I mean we’re French. We kiss in greeting.”

Alya gave Nino a deadpanned look.

“What else am I supposed to say? There are so many other logical explanations for why Marinette would kiss Chat Noir as he snuck into her bedroom.” Nino paused for a second. “Okay, that sounded really bad as I said it, but c’mon Alya. You really think Marinette would start dating Chat Noir?”

Alya tapped a pen on his cap. “That’s what I’m going to find out!”

Nino groaned, knowing Alya she’d devise some crazy scheme to get Marinette to confess that she was dating Chat Noir.

“Alya, please, don’t do anything stupid,” he begged.

“Stupid? Who me?” Alya blinked innocently as she walked towards the door. “Relax, I’ve got it all figured out.”

Alya winked at him as she exited the apartment.

Hopefully, Marinette has better luck than me convincing her.

                                                          XXX

“On your left!” Adrien shouted as he moved his cat-themed character across the Marshmallow Marsh.

Thanks to Adrien, Nino just narrowly avoided a sugar bomb. Maneuvering around the sticky mess left in its wake, Nino was able to catch up to Adrien’s character as they reached the end of the marsh and the end of the level.

Candy Chompers was one of Adrien and Nino’s favorite games ever since they discovered it two months ago. They had been enamored by the sugary sweet world and all the characters and adventures that came with it.

It was really a nice change from the games that guys their age played. Less violence and gore. More cute adorable animals wanting to save their world from being overrun by the evil Candy Lord.

As the next level loaded, Nino felt his phone vibrate in his back pocket. He shifted his position on Adrien’s couch so he could reach the phone.

Nino groaned as he read the text from Alya. So Marinette failed at her job yesterday.

Adrien glanced at Nino. “Everything okay?”

“No.” Nino paused the game, running his hand through his hair. “Apparently, Marinette and Chat Noir are dating and it seems Alya is making us go on a double date Saturday.”

“Wait, Alya found out Marinette and Chat Noir are dating?” Adrien asked, almost fearful.

“Yeah, crazy right?” Nino set his controller on the arm of the couch. “I always thought you two would get together.”

“Heh, yeah, Marinette and I. Definitely won’t happen now. Cause she’s with Chat. Hehe.”

Nino raised his eyebrows. Adrien was acting weirder than usual. And that was saying a lot, considering he always had the lamest excuses when akumas happened. Nino never really questioned the excuses though. Whatever he was doing when they occurred was Adrien’s business.

“So you’re going on a double date with Chat Noir?”

Nino nodded.

“Awesome. Great. Amazing.”

Before Nino could ask about Adrien’s weird response, Adrien unpaused the game, forcing Nino to refocus on the level ahead.

Adrien’s behavior was weird, but maybe he just had more feelings for Marinette than Nino thought. Man, he really shouldn’t have mentioned the double date in front of Adrien. Poor dude.

                                                          XXX

“I still don’t see why you had to invite them over for a date,” Nino said, watching Alya pull out her famous chicken casserole from the oven. The smell of the dish alone was enough to get Nino’s mouth watering.

Placing the hot dish on the stove, Alya turned towards Nino. “I needed to see if this little kitty is good enough for our Mari.”

“Alya. He’s a superhero. You’ve had interviews with him. How can you say he’s not good enough for Nette?”

There was the sound of voices coming from Alya’s front door, so Nino moved to go open it. From what he could tell the two people outside of it were arguing.

“For all we know, Chat Noir could just be keeping up appearances. Knowing the entirety of Paris is watching, he could have just put on this fake personality, and underneath he’s just this ugly troll, trying to hurt our precious Marinette.”

Nino rolled his eyes at his girlfriend’s antics.

“Why are you dressed like that?” One of the voices in the hallway said. Kind sounded like Marinette if he really focused on the voice.

“I thought that this was appropriate.” Wow, that sounded a lot like Adrien. “Especially considering they think that—”

The voices stopped as soon as Nino opened the apartment door.

Huh, so it was Marinette’s voice he heard, but definitely not Adrien’s.

Marinette and Chat Noir looked like little kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Both of them looked extremely stiff as they stood next to each other right outside the apartment door.

“Oh, you’re here!” Nino jumped at Alya’s sudden appearance behind him. “Nino, don’t make them stay out there all night.”

“Yeah, c’mon in!” Nino moved aside to let the couple in.

“You came at a perfect time, I just took out the food. I’ll bring it out in just a second!” Alya said, walking back into the kitchen.

“Okay, Alya. We’ll be at the dining table,” Marinette responded, leading Chat over to the table in the dining room.

Nino wasn’t sure if it was just him, but Marinette seemed extremely tense like she was a mouse stuck in a field of mouse traps.

There was an awkward pause at the table once the three sat down. Neither of the couple in front of Nino seemed very eager to strike up a conversation. Probably just nerves.

Considering the circumstances, Nino figured that they never really expected to go on a double date ever, so now being on one was likely very weird.

“Uh, so, Chat, what do you like to do for fun?” Nino asked.

“Oh, you know. Everyday teenage boy things. Play video games, flex in the mirror, save princesses. Normal everyday activities. Hehe.”

“What games do you play?”

“I play a bit of Ultimate Mecha Strike III and Cand—OW!”

Nino watched confused as Chat Noir brought his foot up to his face and cradled it. Marinette didn’t seem at all concerned by her boyfriend’s antics. Instead, she was glancing back towards the kitchen where Alya was adding some finishing touches on her casserole.

“Oh, so you and Marinette must’ve bonded over your love for UMS3. She’s like the queen of that game. I still have yet to meet someone who could beat her at it.”

Chat Noir scoffed. “I’ve beat Little Miss Constipation Girl here at UMS3 multiple times.”

Of all the names to call Marinette, that had to be the weirdest one ever. He definitely had to ask about that later. As far as he knew , the only people who knew about the constipation incident were him, Alya, the girls, and Adrien. Well Nino only knew because Adrien had told him about his trip to London and Alya filled him in on some minor details after the fact.

Marinette either blushed in embarrassment at the nickname or at the fact that she wasn’t an unbeatable mastermind at UMS3. “You only won both times because you cheated by distracting me!”

“A true champion knows not to get distracted by the tiniest of things.” Chat had a smug smirk on his face as he watched Marinette turn as red as a tomato.

“Why you mangy little all-”

“Dinner is served!” Alya announced, interrupting Marinette.

Whatever the incident was surrounding UMS3, Nino was definitely never going to bring that up again for fear of his life or Chat’s life.

“So what were you guys talking about?” Alya asked, taking the seat beside Nino.

“Nothing much. Wow, babe this looks amazing. Let’s dig in!” Nino exclaimed, quickly grabbing a serving of the casserole.

Chat and Marinette followed suit while Alya gave Nino a look that read, ‘What the heck is going on?’. Instead of answering the exact question she was thinking, Nino turned towards his plate and started filling his mouth with food.

Alya shook her head at his antics, grabbing her own portion.

The next few minutes were spent in a comfortable silence as everyone dug into the food.

Alya really out did herself this time. Maybe Marinette should sneak around with superheroes more often if this is how Alya ends up cooking.

“You’re a hungry little cat aren’t you?” Alya asked, a hint of amusement in her voice.

Looking up, Nino saw Chat with his claw (paw?) on the spoon for the casserole dish.

“Sorry, I didn’t get to eat a whole lot today and this is really good food, Ms. Ladyblogger.”

Nino, along with Alya and Marinette, looked at Chat concerned. Of all people, Nino would’ve thought a superhero would eat enough to stay healthy. Superheroes like Chat and Ladybug were always out there running around stopping akumas. Not eating enough food? That was practically a death wish.

“Nino, could you go get the leftover coleslaw from our lunch earlier. I think Chat needs it more than Ella and Etta.”

Nino immediately complied, more than eager to help out the poor boy who consistently saved Paris.

“No, you don’t have to!” Chat started shaking his hands, trying to stop Nino.

“Dude, we have a model friend who doesn’t eat enough as it is and I always make him eat some of my leftovers. As far as I know you’re not a model, but you save Paris like everyday so a healthy diet is a must.” Nino pushed the bowl of coleslaw into Chat’s arms. “Here, take as much as you want.”

“Oh, um, thanks. I’m not really sure what to say.” Chat blushed.

“You don’t say anything. Just eat.” Marinette grabbed the coleslaw from Chat’s hands and filled his plate with a nice serving. Alya did similar and picked up the casserole dish, piling even more food onto his plate.

“Oh, okay then.” Chat picked up his fork and stared at his plate now full of food.

“I don’t see a lot of eating going on there.” Marinette had her hands on her hips, watching Chat to make sure he would eat. Chat clearly didn’t want to test Marinette on the topic of food, so he complied by eating the food in front of him.

“I think I finally get it. Marinette is dating Chat to make sure that he would be eating enough!” Alya shouted after a few minutes watching the two.

“Wait what you think I’m dating Chat!?” “That’s exactly the reason!”

Marinette and Chat blurted at the same time.

Nino furrowed his eyebrows at Marinette’s statement. That didn’t make a lot of sense considering they were currently on a double date.

“Wait, what do you mean you and Chat aren’t dating?” Apparently, Alya also picked up on Marinette’s statement.

“Um, well you see Chat is here, umm, filling in for Adrien because you mentioned how you saw me with my boyfriend and I’m dating Adrien hehe.” Marinette smiled unconvincingly.

“So you’re not dating Chat Noir?”

Marinette shook her head. “I’m not...did you think I was?”

“Uh, yeah! I saw him sneak into your room one night and you kissed him on the cheek!”

Marinette glanced at Chat. “Oh, uh, you saw that? Chat and I just hang out sometimes. Giving each other cheek kisses and all.”

Alya blinked while Nino grinned at the explanation. It was practically the same explanation he had given Alya when this whole thing started.

“Oh. Then that means you’re dating Adrien?”

Marinette nodded.

“And Chat filled in because Adrien couldn’t make it?”

Marinette nodded again.

“Uh, I have a question.” Nino felt the entire table’s eyes on him as he spoke. “Why did Chat volunteer if you and Adrien were keeping your relationship a secret? Why not just say Adrien couldn’t come instead of outing your secret to three people?”

“Adrien and I are bad at keeping secrets?” Marinette said more so as a question.

“Clearly.” Alya sighed. Nino could tell she was just as confused as he was.

There was just something about her story that didn’t add up. It was really bugging him, but he couldn’t place his finger on it.

Unless it was…

“Hey, Nette, did you ever tell Chat about the prescription incident?”

“No, why?”

That was it. That was what didn’t make sense. “Why did Chat call you ‘Little Miss Constipation Girl’ earlier?”

“Uhh…”

“There was another constipation incident!”

Alya gave the pair a look of disbelief. “As much as I could believe Marinette had some separate constipation incident. I feel like your actions suggest otherwise.”

“I mean it’s not like there’s anything ba—Oh my gosh, Chat’s Adrien.” The answer just hit Nino like a bullet train. How could he have been so blind. Adrien was the only dude who even knew about that stupid constipation incident. And then his actions lined up almost perfectly with how Chat acted. Even his reaction at the dinner invite. He was probably completely confused on who he was supposed to show up as.

“How could I have been so blind!” Alya exclaimed next to him.

“I guess we let the Chat out of the bag, huh?” Chat whispered to Marinette.

“No, you did!”

“Nah, it was a team effort.”

[pandawritesmanythings]

Loki x Reader (Medieval AU)

Chapter Summary: You need to ask questions, but talking with Loki is surprisingly pleasant...

Warnings: Mentions of natural disasters.

Word Count: 1,919k

A/N: I love writing these two chatting TvT. Thank you guys so much for the support! Y’all are awesome!

Masterlist

-

It was the meeting time with Loki.

This was going to be something else, wasn't it?

In all honesty, you had been looking forward to discussing the book with him, but there were more pressing matters in your hands and right now you really weren't in the mood for a pointless discussion.

Sigyn had come by late at night, a piece of paper on her hand. She had memorized as many points about the meeting she could have and written them down for you. You profusely thanked her and then proceeded to spend the rest of the night sleepless because of what you had read.

You wanted to confirm it with Loki though. Two accounts are more trustworthy than one, after all. And you wondered... Did he trust you enough to tell you?

After eating breakfast with the queen and some of the other ladies of the court, you made your way towards the library, Steve hot in your trail. 

He had yet to confront you about leaving yesterday unannounced and without supervision, but there was a chance he actually didn't know about it. Until he gave any other indication you weren't about to open your mouth.

He, in fact, quietly escorted you to the library and didn't say much. Which honestly weirded you out a little, but you decided to let it slide.

"Hey." He called when you were about to enter. "Call if you need me, alright?"

It felt like there was something else he wanted to say but... "I will. I promise." You smiled, trying to ease the obvious tension he had.

The library was enormous. You took a moment to actually look at it in detail. The columns of marble extended floors above until they stopped at the dome-shaped high ceiling. The ceiling was also painted with depictions of the royal family generation by generation enjoying the knowledge found in the books. They all seemed to be resting on top of clouds, some with books on their laps, others with scrolls on their hands. Paintings of the most delicate nature. 

But despite the architectural beauty, the most incredible thing was the number of books and scrolls that the room held. The shelves were so high they almost reached the roof. And as far as you could see, there was no space in any of the shelves to fit any new books. That probably was why the wall on the far back seemed to be draped with fabric instead of there being an actual wall. 

"They're remodeling and extending it to the room next door," Loki spoke suddenly, making you gasp in surprise.

"My prince. I- Please do not scare me like that!"

He let out a hum of a laugh, but judging by the hand curled over his mouth he probably was far more amused than he let on. "Well, I hate to keep disappointing you so I figured I might as well keep you on your toes."

Oh, how I want to slap that smirk off your face.

You took in a deep breath. "Fair. But please refrain from making my heart stop next time." You said as you rounded him and took your usual spot by the window.

"Well, I shall make no promises." He smirked as he walked towards you and sat at an appropriate distance on the same window seat.

You clutched the book in your hands in front of you and showed it to him with a proud smile.

He raised an eyebrow playfully, "So I guess you managed to accomplish my commission?"

"I asked you not to underestimate me, right?"

You both began discussing the three first chapters of the book, which still ended up amazing him the fact that you were on chapter 10 already. He almost didn't believe it, but when you began referring to future chapters... Well, he had no other choice but to believe you.

"I find that writing tragedy, be it fiction or not, is a way to let out your own pain." You said without really thinking.

"You think?" He asked, leaning a bit forward, interested in what you were saying.

"Well, of course. For example, the writer of this story is telling someone else's, but how can you explain the level of detail and emotion that is in there? I do not think anyone that hasn't felt despair before could have written this..." Your hand glided the carved cover of the book. There was something almost magical about it, sadly ethereal... Even if magic wasn't something that was truly real...

"What else is the world but a balance of sadness and joy? You feel each's highs and lows when the other feeling is present. You can't have one without the other, just like you can't have light without the dark." Loki said looking out the window in thought.

"Who said that?" You asked with curiosity.

"Me. Just now." He deadpanned you.

You let out a small laugh, which shook your shoulders. "Sorry, that was stupid."

He laughed back, his eyes back to looking out at the sea. "No, it's fine. It was just a thought."

"So you are a poet?" You asked.

"What I am varies from moment to moment."

"So who are you right now?"

"Who would you like me to be?" He turned to you. Was it just your imagination, or did his eyes look brighter with the light that was coming through the window?

You took a moment to find your answer "I think I'd like to know Loki."

He seemed momentarily taken aback by your request. "Alright. What would you like to know about him?"

You hummed and looked down at the book in your lap, an idea suddenly popping onto your head, "At what age did you begin to read on your own?" You asked and settled onto the couches, hugging your book.

"Heh..." He breathed out a laugh, "I would guess... About 6 years old. By then I had told mother I didn't want her to read to me anymore, and I began looking for books on my own. You?"

"Aww, father read to me until I was ten. I always liked how calm he was when he read out stories. And it seemed to calm us both down. But I began reading on my own at 5." You got lost in the memory. "Sometimes we still read together, when we're too stressed out."

"Sounds peaceful."

"It was... I'm afraid I can't really do that anymore."

You really couldn't, not only because of the physical distance but ever since Morgan had been born she and Pepper had taken most of his free time. Which you understood, after all, Morgan was his little girl, and Pepper was his wife. It still didn't make it any less hard to have so little time with your dad. 

"What of your brother?" 

"You shall meet him soon." You suddenly perked up by the mention of Peter. "He and his mentor, Doctor Stephen Strange should be arriving between today and tomorrow."

"I believe you mentioned it in the throne room."

"I just hope passage is favorable." Your brow furrowed in concern, "What I said about disaster season, I meant it."

"I've heard some of the border cities with Asgard also receive some damage due to it. Is it truly that bad?" He asked. "I haven't seen much information on the matter."

"It's not good. That much is very true. Of course, is not like getting a tsunami but..." You raised an eyebrow at him teasingly.

Loki chuckled at that. "How do you know that?"

"I've been to council meetings before, silver-tongue. I've heard things."

Asgard had a phenomenon. A natural phenomenon that was exclusive to them. Every five years, on an almost exact date, a tsunami, the size of a four-story building would rush into the coast.

Hence, why the castle and a large part of the city were on a hill.

"I thought we could keep up the act." He playfully smirked.

"That only works with the common folk, silver-tongue," You replied, "The glitter of Asgard doesn't shine as bright up close."

"That's not the impression you gave me when you were gawking at the library." He raised an eyebrow, playfully.

Your eyes widened, but you tried to control your expression, instead, you ended up smiling shyly. "Well, there are some good things here. I will acknowledge it."

"Hmm. Glad you do." He looked around a hint of nostalgia dancing in his eyes. "It is the most beautiful place in the palace."

"I agree. Not even the throne room is this intricate."

"What of the library back at Midgard?"

"It is also a beautiful place, however, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I love the place, but you have to see it for yourself." You replied.

"Then, it will be a pleasure to visit your home soon."

Was it the smirk? The way his shoulders were relaxed? Or the spark in his eyes which made your stomach flip? Or was it the fact that you had referred to a future where the two of you were together?

"You think I'll just end up going with you, princess?"

"I believe you won't be able to resist my charm." You playfully fanned yourself with the book and batted your eyelashes.

"I'm sorry to disappoint."

"Again? Oh, Odinson. You are becoming predictable." You loved to tease him. And you loved the way the corner of his eyes would crinkle when he smirked back at you.

Loved?

You ended up giggling, while he tried to hide his smile by looking down at his book and flipping pages.

"But, about my brother, he and I have always been close. He came into my life when I was eight years old. He was a newborn at the time." You returned to his previous question.

"At the time?"

"Well... yes. Father adopted both Peter and me."

Did tome stop?

Did time stop at that moment for Loki Odinson?

It might as well have. You were adopted. And you knew. And you seemed to be alright with it. And your father and brother loved you. Did you understand? What if he...

"... since he owed them, we couldn't possibly leave their son all alone, my father agreed to raise him. Both his uncle and aunt were quite grateful. She still pays him visits often, and Peter and I visit his uncle's grave every..." You noticed his far off look, "Loki? Are you all alright?

"Yes. Of course."

He was closing off. You could sense it, the way he said those words, it was as if the wall you had been working to tear was rebuilding itself.

"Look, I know that being adopted technically means that my little sister Morgan should be the heir to the throne, but please do not go running off. If you go propose to my little sister I will drop you from a cliff." You nudged him.

The absurd comment seemed to take him off guard, at least enough to make him chuckle in amazement at your statement.

It was at that moment when you suddenly remembered. What you had set out to ask him but ended up forgetting from diving into an easy conversation with him.

"Loki?"

"Yes?" He was smiling, but you could tell he understood something was going on from your tone.

"I need to ask you something."

"I'll see if I have an answer." He sat straight, hands resting on his knees.

"Are the Jotuns really invading Midgard?"

-

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[bouwrites]

Even Heroes Have the Right to Dream: Chapter 12

I’m no Superman. I hope you like me as I am.

First, Previous, Next. Ao3.

Story under read-more.

Jon is fairly certain Marinette is only joking when she agrees to visit each other during the holidays, mostly because agreeing is as far as any planning for it goes. They don’t even go as far as saying they’ll do it this year, or this summer, but as far as Jon’s concerned, he’s got one summer and two holiday seasons left with Marinette before they’re just living their regular adult lives.

And he certainly doesn’t intend to let her go after college – no, he’s going to ask her to move in together permanently. Maybe they’ll even stay in New York. Or Jon will move to Paris with her. It doesn’t matter yet, they still have a year and a half before they graduate anyway, but either way Jon has no intention of letting graduation separate them.

To that end, they have their entire lives to visit each other’s homes. Even so, Jon really wants to invite Marinette back to the farm at least once for holiday. It’s criminal that they still haven’t enjoyed more than a video call for any holiday thus far. Granted Christmas was in the middle of their drama both years (Not this year, he resolves.), but they still had other opportunities!

Unfortunately, she’s always in Paris during the breaks, and Jon doesn’t want to take her away from her friends. Spring break is out, as are the breaks between semesters, so no summer or winter breaks. Jon might be able to visit her, then, especially in the summer with months without any real holiday to call the family together for, but Marinette will be treasuring the time she has with her friends in Paris, so he can’t invite her back to America and interrupt that.

But Paris is far, and there are smaller opportunities to take advantage of. Jon’s mind goes almost immediately to Thanksgiving. The break is only the end of the week, so Marinette doesn’t actually go back to Paris for it, especially since they don’t have Thanksgiving where she’s from, so she has nothing to celebrate in the first place.

Which makes it perfect, because it’ll be Marinette’s first real Thanksgiving! The Kents love Thanksgiving, and Jon is no exception. It’s just such a warm, feel-good holiday full of family, great food, and thanks for all that they have. And Jon has a lot to be thankful for, not the least of which that Marinette is in his life and hasn’t given up on him after their chaotic first years together.

He can’t even imagine where he’d be if Marinette wasn’t his roommate. If he had come to New York two years ago and found himself in this little apartment with Jesse instead of her, where would he be? Still hiding, no doubt. From the hero life he left behind, from his own instincts to protect, maybe even from his lineage. If he didn’t have Marinette to work with, would he have found his ideals? Would he know yet what he wants his life to be? Would he ever have had the example to fix his ideals around, or would he still be struggling to reconcile Justice and Peace?

The Girod is certainly not an easy standard to live up two. Eleven virtues, all embodied in one man. Jon still thinks it’s impossible to truly achieve, but they offer him guidance, a path to follow now that he’s cast aside the one his dad put in front of him. Marinette is that path, and the Girod is just the handrails. What he finds living with Marinette, normal or not, is what he wants. He’s certain of that. The Girod guide him further if he stumbles or gets distracted, but the path is and always was, from the moment he arrived in New York, Marinette.

No offense to Damian, but she’s his best friend. Jon will follow her to hell and back, and he knows with absolute certainty she will never ask him to compromise his peace for her – that’s why he can so easily charge down the path hand in hand with her. They made a promise, to themselves and to each other. A promise that no one else in Jon’s life, no matter how much he loves and trusts them, would ever make. A life of peace. To find that together. He trusts her, and he does his best to live up to her trust in him, keeping her on the path she tells him she wants just as she does for him.

Jesse is a great guy, but Jon will never find that with him. If Jon had come to New York and roomed with him instead, Jon’s sure they’d be great friends, but… Jesse could never be the rock that Jon needs to keep him grounded. Very few people could. In fact, it might just be her.

When Jon itches to fly, all he needs to do is look at Marinette, and all that desire disappears. He’s content on the ground, if Marinette is with him. That is something extraordinary.

It’s selfish of him to want more, but he does. He wants to share more. He wants to have those loud, boisterous party experiences with her, those intimate family moments of holidays with her, he wants to take her flying, not off to any goal, just to the horizon, to see what she’ll do so high up in the sky. It’s selfish, but it’s also what he wants. He can’t just not try, not without sacrificing something dear to him. And he’s not a hero anymore, so he’s not sacrificing a thing.

So, while Marinette is out working on her commissions for the Wayne’s Christmas party, Jon starts making dinner and uses the time, also, to call his mom.

“Hi, Jon!” His mom coos through the phone. “I wasn’t expecting a call today. Are you cooking?”

“Getting started, yeah.” Jon smiles to the image of his mom on the phone, perched on the counter so he has his hands free. “I hope you don’t mind.”

“Of course not. I’m always available for my boy.”

Jon gets all his pots and pans in order before focusing on the ingredients themselves. “So, I actually called to ask you something.”

“Yes? What is it?”

“You know my roommate, Marinette? She’s from Paris.”

“Yes, you talk about her a lot.” Jon flushes despite himself. His mom sounds so teasing about it, and Jon can’t help but let the implication fluster him. “What about her?”

Jon can’t seem to look at the phone as he draws in his breath for his next words. He focuses instead on preparing dinner. “I was wondering if it’d be alright if I asked her to have Thanksgiving with us. They don’t have Thanksgiving in Paris, so she’s usually just hanging out here alone when I go back. I thought it’d be nice to invite her.”

A glance tells him his mother has that knowing smirk that she always has when she knows more than she should. Jon just pointedly focuses on the vegetables and tries to ignore how his cheeks burn. It’s not like that. “That’s a wonderful idea, Jon.” His mom says. “We’d love to have her over.”

Jon breathes out a sigh. “Awesome.” Now I just need to ask Marinette if she even wants to come. “I’ll bring it up with her when she gets home.”

“Oh, is she busy?”

Jon nods. “Damian hired her to make his family’s outfits for their Christmas party, so she’s been working a bit later on that. She’ll be home in time for dinner, though.”

“That’s good. I hope she isn’t neglecting her studies for Damian.”

Jon snorts. “Don’t worry, I’m making sure she studies. Lord knows she’s told me to study enough times. I got to repay the favor.”

His mom laughs. “It sounds like I should thank her. I’m glad you two are there for each other.”

Jon smiles down at the vegetables on his cutting board. “Yeah. Me too. I’m lucky to have ended up with her.”

“No doubt about that.” His mom says. “Now the only question is: when we introduce her to your grandparents, will it be as your roommate, or as your girlfriend?”

“Mom!” Jon fumbles for a moment with his knife and shrinks a little as he gives up and just throws the vegetables in the bowl they’re meant to go in. “It’s not like that!”

“Are you sure?” His mom asks calmly. “Because the last time I’ve seen you this smitten with someone, it was Damian Wayne back in-”

“We don’t talk about that!” Jon only burns hotter at the mention of Damian. To himself, he whines, “Marinette teases me about that enough.” Louder, after clearing his throat awkwardly, he says, “And I’m not smitten!”

“Oh, honey. You’re basically married.”

“We live together.” Jon counters. “The domestic stuff is just being decent roommates.”

“I’m not talking about cooking for her, Jon. I’m talking about how you’re always talking about her. Even Damian noticed you always bring her up.”

Do I? Jon thinks back and realizes that his mom is totally right. That’s why Sam looks so irritated with him when they talk. Every time she tries to flirt or compliment him, he’d… well it must look to her like he deflects to compliment Marinette. He thinks he’s just being friendly and sharing a pretty major part of his life. Maybe I should be a little more careful next time I talk to her.

But that doesn’t mean anything. “She’s my best friend!” Jon says. “Of course, I talk about her.”

“Just like when you couldn’t shut up about your best friend Damian, right?”

“Mom!” Jon whines, drawing the word out.

“Okay, okay, I’m only teasing. You should be ready for it, though. You bringing a girl home will definitely set your grandparents off.”

Jon groans loudly. That’s probably true. Unfortunately, there’s not much he can do about it. He’ll just have to suck it up. Besides, there are much worse things in life than being mistaken for Marinette’s boyfriend. He and Marinette know what they’re doing, mostly, and they’re not kids anymore. They can handle assumptions. There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.

“Are you excited?” Jon bounces in his seat, leaning over to Marinette, who is pressing herself close to the window to watch the farmland pass them by.

“I am!” Marinette’s eyes sparkle as she takes in the scenery. It’s just flat and honestly pretty drab, but she’s looking at it like a whole new world. Jon supposes that it is, to her. “I’ve never celebrated Thanksgiving before. And it’s so pretty out here! I feel like I can see for miles!”

“You can.” Jon’s dad says from the front seat. “On clear nights, you can even see the light from Metropolis.”

“That’s amazing! Thank you all so much for inviting me!”

“It’s our pleasure to have you, Marinette. Jon talks about you all the time. We’re all very happy to finally meet you properly.”

“Yes! I’m so happy to have this chance to get to know you, as well!”

Marinette is practically glued to the window for the entire drive, and frequently takes pictures with her phone of the speeding vast emptiness surrounding them. Wide fields of dirt or low-lying crops with the occasional tree or copse (usually as windbreakers surrounding property) is the exact opposite of exciting for Jon, but for a girl raised in Paris who has never been in the American countryside, it’s a completely new experience. Jon wagers she’s never seen so much sky.

If the way she clutches her sketchbook and scribbles in it without hardly looking down at it is any indication, it’s inspiring, too. That makes Jon happy. That’s part of the reason he wants to invite her back to the farm. A completely new setting for her is sure to spark some creativity. Just wait until she sees the stars.

When they roll off the asphalt and onto the packed dirt path leading to their home, Marinette loses none of the awe. In a hushed whisper, straight into Jon’s ear as she grabs his arm, she says, “I’ve never been on a dirt road before.” Which, now that he thinks about it, makes sense, but is such a little thing he would never have realized had she not told him directly.

Then they spill out of the car and Marinette gasps, staring at the horizon uninterrupted by the Kent home. Jon smiles at his parents and gestures for them to go on. He’ll wait with Marinette for as long as she wants to revel in the sight, ordinary as it may be to him. “Jon!” She grabs his arm tightly, hugging it unthinkingly. “It’s… I can see forever. It’s like being on top of the Eiffel Tower, except I’m on the ground. And the air! It feels so different!” She giggles breathlessly. “I can’t believe you live here.”

Jon smiles fondly down at her, warm from her touch. “It’s cleaner out here, right? Hard to find fresh air like this in a city.” He agrees. “I’m glad you’re here.”

She looks up at him and smiles, an ear to ear grin that shines like the sun. “Me, too. Thank you again for inviting me.”

Jon’s stomach flutters in an interesting way that makes his cheeks burn. Sharing little things like this with Marinette is probably his new favorite thing in the world. Seeing the inspiration in her eyes, how her excitement reminds him to appreciate the view he’s long considered uninteresting. Just because the view is a whole lot of nothing doesn’t mean there’s nothing to appreciate. The emptiness itself is as awesome as the greatest of cities.

Jon gives Marinette a brilliant smile and says, “Come on, let’s get inside. I’m sure my grandparents are getting impatient to meet you.”

“Oh! Of course! Sorry for taking so long.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.”

Marinette separates from him and starts towards the house. Jon opens the door for her, smiling because he can already hear movement in the kitchen. No doubt that’s his grandma, getting started on the pies.

“Ah, there you are!” Jon’s grandpa says with a glint in his eyes as he examines the two. “We thought for a moment you’d gotten lost on your way in.”

“Ha ha.” Jon rolls his eyes. Those dad jokes will never be funny. Or, never not be funny? It’s a weird balance. “This is my friend Marinette.” He nudges her gently to introduce her.

“Of course, of course. It’s nice to meet you, Marinette. Jonno’s told us all a lot about you.” Marinette politely shakes his hand as he says, “I’m Jonathan, or just Grandpa if you’re under this roof.”

Marinette makes an odd expression that strikes Jon as somewhere between amused and uncomfortable. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Kent.”

Leaning close to Jon, as if to speak as an aside but not lowering his voice nearly enough for it to matter, Jon’s grandpa says, “Ah, she’s too polite for you, boy.”

Jon wants to retort, but he’s honestly not sure whether to be offended at the implication that he’s anything but a gentleman. He knows his grandpa is just teasing him, so he doesn’t take serious offense to it, but still.

“Do my ears deceive me? Is she here?” Suddenly, Jon’s grandma comes out of the kitchen, brushing her hands on her apron, making a beeline for the two youngest. She immediately gives Marinette a hug, and holds her still to examine her. “Oh, you’re just the prettiest little thing! Please, make yourself at home. I was just getting started on the pies for tomorrow.”

Marinette stands a little straighter at the mention of baking. “Can I help?” She asks.

Jon interjects to say, “Marinette’s parents are bakers in Paris. She grew up in a bakery.”

Marinette flushes a little and fiddles with the turtle Miraculous around her wrist. “I- yes, that’s true, but truth be told I don’t have much experience baking pies. Not the kind you have here, anyway. I’ve always wanted to try, but they’re not as common in Paris as they are here. I never had reason to.”

“Will you be able to handle using American measurements, though?” Jon teases.

“Of course, I can. Because I’m not a baby who refuses to try new things.”

“You literally insist our recipe book is written with European measurements.”

“No, I just take the effort to convert things for myself. If you want to convert the recipes into your measurements, then you’re more than welcome to.”

Jon makes a face. “But that’s so much math.”

“Then don’t complain.” Marinette pokes him playfully. She looks back to the adults, as if remembering they’re there, and composes herself again. “Ah, but, may I please, Mrs. Kent?”

“Call me Martha, honey. And you don’t have to help cook. You’re a guest here.”

“But I enjoy it!” Marinette says eagerly. “And I want to. Jon’ll help, too.”

Martha hums thoughtfully. “The more the merrier, then. Let’s find you an apron.”

As Martha leads them to the kitchen and the rest of the adults start talking amongst themselves,  Jon is pulled closer to Marinette so she can whisper to him. “Your grandparents are adorable!” She says, grinning giddily. “Their accents are so cute!”

“So’s yours.” Jon says back. He feels satisfied when she blushes at the comment but is quickly brought out of their little conversation with the aprons his grandma hands them.

They fall into the groove of preparing the pies for a while, conversing lightly as they do. Marinette and Martha get on like a house on fire, mostly talking about recipes, which Jon watches fondly. Apple, classic American. Pecan, necessary for Thanksgiving. Pumpkin, also a staple. Pies spend a lot of time in the oven, but between bakes conversation never lulls. If things in the kitchen die down, someone from the living room will pop in and liven things up again. Jon is even dragged outside at one point to fix the tractor, and Marinette follows out of self-admitted fascination.

Jon explains what he’s doing as he does it for Marinette’s sake, but he’s pretty sure it goes mostly over her head. She probably doesn’t know much about machinery like the tractor in the first place, so he doesn’t expect her to grasp the details. All he knows is that he needs to wash the oil off his hands, and better yet take a whole shower (it’s late November, so he’s not exactly sweaty, but the inside of a tractor isn’t clean, no matter how hard he tries to avoid getting covered in filth) before he goes anywhere near the kitchen again.

It’s only after Marinette assures him she’ll be fine alone with his family for a while that he does so, though. She’s talked to his parents before in passing over the phone, but ultimately today is the first time she’s really met any of them except him. He doesn’t want to just leave her feeling uncomfortable without him around, and he notices that she gets a little quiet while he’s working on the tractor, so he’s worried. But she insists and practically pushes him into the bathroom herself, so he has little choice but to relent. It’s not like he wants to stay filthy, anyway.

When he steps out of the shower, warm and refreshed, he realizes it’s getting late. So, he throws on some pants and goes to ask Marinette where she’ll be most comfortable. “Unfortunately, my grandparents have the guest room.” He tells her, guiding her to his own room. “So, you can take my bed. I can sleep on the floor, or on the couch in the living room if you’d rather have the space to yourself.”

Marinette reels back at the very idea. “I can’t take your bed from you, Jon! I can sleep on the floor, it’s fine.”

Jon chuckles good-naturedly. He knows what she’s doing, and he’s not about to let her. “Not a chance, Marinette. You’re a guest here. You get a proper bed. I’m not budging on that.”

Marinette rolls her eyes. “I’m not kicking you out of your bed!”

“You’re not. I’m offering it.”

“Jon! I’m serious, I’m no- woah.” A slow grin stretches across Marinette’s face when Jon opens the door to his room. “This is your room?!” She gasps, following his gesture to step inside.

It’s not hard to guess what she’s looking at. The lights are still off in here, and her head is tilted back, looking up at the glow-in-the-dark stars all over his ceiling and the free space on his walls. Jon checks out the window, just to see that there are clouds covering the real stars. Shame. Hopefully that clears up tomorrow. If she’s impressed by this, just wait until she sees the real thing.

Truth be told, he doesn’t think much of those glow-in-the-dark stars anymore. He put them up with his dad when he was little and never bothered taking them down unless he needed space on the wall for whatever reason. There’s so many of them, it’d just be a hassle to clean up if he did, and they don’t bother him, so he doesn’t need to. They’re just part of the background of the room. He’d actually forgotten they were there until Marinette points them out.

“Yep.” He says. His eyes search the stars, finding a set of them at the wall opposite his bed, where he’s facing when he’s lying in it.

“It’s so pretty.” Marinette says softly. “And it almost looks like… are those real constellations?”

Jon laughs, mostly to himself. “Yeah, I had a pretty big astronomy phase as a kid. You can imagine why.” Marinette giggles in agreement. “I found some star maps and, together with Dad, put all these up.” He looks fondly at the dim, glow-in-the-dark stars for the first time in a long time. Maybe years. It’s hard to believe, when he looks at them with the appreciation he used to, that he had ever lost that wonder.

The true sky just outside his window is better still, and he never abandoned his wonder for that, but this is… this is special, too. It’s nice to be reminded of that.

Jon looks at Perseus at the end of his bed and smiles. Initially, Jon wanted to put Corvus there, where he can most easily see it, since from Earth’s perspective, that’s where Krypton is located, but Corvus is a southern constellation so even when it is visible in the real sky outside here, it’s low down and doesn’t work well as a starting point for the rest of the sky map of his room. And Perseus, the hero, is just as good. Better, even, since Jon never connected to Krypton, but to heroes? That’s what Jon wanted since he was born.

(And maybe he also read The Lightning Thief at just around the same time his astronomy phase got into full gear. Sue him.)

It’s funny in hindsight. If he wanted it a little less badly, hadn’t tried so hard to reach it, maybe he would have been more ready when he did. Maybe be wouldn’t be turning his back on it now. Maybe now would only be his start.

But pointless hypotheticals get him nowhere. He likes where he’s at now. He likes being with Marinette and working together towards their mutual life of peace. It gives him meaning that he doesn’t need to fill with heroism, and it gives him perspective, so he can gaze upon Perseus and smile, even if it’s a tad weak. He wouldn’t change a thing about his life, if it has led him to this moment.

Even if he does still have to argue with Marinette over who gets the bed. (He wins, in the end, and smugly pulls a spare pillow and blanket out to put on the couch.)

Thanksgiving goes about as expected. Marinette fits in seamlessly with the family and insists on helping with the cooking. There are a few too many of them to all be in the small kitchen at once, but they agree to take turns and split the work of making each dish. While it’s his parent’s turn in the kitchen, Jon’s grandfather has to coax Marinette into throwing a football with them to get her to abandon her spot at the oven.

It’s a lot of laughing and running after the ball, since even though Marinette is coordinated and has a mean arm, she’s literally never thrown a football in her life until today. She’s awkward with it and always apologizing for every wildly inaccurate throw, but it’s still a nice time overall.

Aunt Kara shows up, too, and she immediately adores Marinette. She fawns over her almost as much as she fawns over Jon, which is saying something. For her part, Marinette takes it in stride, eagerly striking up conversation and spending so long just chatting that Jon’s grandfather eventually gives up on including the girls in their game of catch altogether.

Eventually, they gather for the meal itself. Jon makes sure to sit next to Marinette and watches her closely. She seems a bit awkward, maybe even startled, when Martha says grace, but she relaxes again quickly, noticing Kara waiting politely but clearly not participating, and then fully relaxing at the “Amen.” Then, they eat. It’s not all that different from any other meal, except they’re sharing it with more people.

They eat, they watch a football game on television, they laugh, they chat, and it’s all normal. It’s family. And Jon couldn’t be happier.

He keeps an eye on the sky, though. He still wants to show Marinette the stars. The real ones. So far, so good, and when the sun finally goes down, Jon sighs with relief.

He catches Marinette with her sketchbook, sitting on his bed as she hums a tune to herself and sketches. Reluctant to interrupt her, he waits for a moment until she looks up and smiles at him. “Want to see something really special?” He asks, holding out his hand for her.

Marinette grins widely and takes it. He squeezes her hand gently and guides her to the door. His parents absolutely notice them leaving, but aside from some pointed looks they don’t interrupt. That works for him.

They step outside and he barely manages to tell her to look up before he’s interrupted by her gasp. “You weren’t kidding…” She breathes, fixated on the stars.

“Right?” Jon asks, equally breathless. He grabs her other hand, so he’s holding both her hands, and looks up with her. More stars than he can count stretch out before them. The entire night sky is a light show just for them, more extravagant and more beautiful than any city, in his opinion. It’s something that just can’t be replicated, no matter how devoted a twelve-year-old may be. Sometimes, Jon sees this, the soft glow of the galaxy, a gentle band promised to the inky sky, and wants nothing more than to fly up into it. Today, the starbursts between his fingers and Marinette’s is more than enough for him.

“Thank you for showing me this.” Marinette’s voice is small, vulnerable, and when Jon looks closely, he can see the sparkle of the stars in her eyes. They’re a little too wet, but Jon smiles knowing she’s just overwhelmed. It truly is a beautiful sight.

“Want to get a little closer?”

Marinette blinks the wetness away – no tears fall – and looks strangely at him. “Closer? What do you…?”

Jon lifts just a foot off the ground, never letting go of her hands but leaning forward so as not to pull her feet off the ground.

Marinette grins from ear to ear and agrees. “Hold on tight.” He says ensuring she has her arms firmly over his shoulders and he’s holding her just as tightly himself. She’s pressed up against him, head on his shoulder, eyes on the stars.

Jon swears he will never forget the look on her face when he rises into the air. As the house and the trees fall away and all that’s present anymore is her, him, and the constellations. It’s a look of awe, of wonder and bright, bright light, like the stars themselves. The universe he spends so long gazing at out here is written on her face, its constellations in her freckles and its burn in her eyes. There’s so much beauty all around them, but all Jon sees is her.

He leans back just a little, drifting in that direction, and then with a cheeky smile, he spins abruptly. Marinette squeaks and clutches him tighter, and then glowers cutely at him when she calms down. “What?” He asks, innocently.

“Don’t do that!” Marinette pouts.

“No?” Jon gives her his best puppy eyes. “You don’t want me to go…”

“Don’t you dare.”

“Over,” Jon dips her, giggling at her small shriek, “sideways,” he spins again, and Marinette starts laughing along with him, “and under?”

Truthfully, playing around too much is dangerous. Marinette can’t fly, after all, but Jon lays back in the air, letting Marinette lay atop him, essentially using him as a platform. She smacks his chest lightly. “You’re mean.”

“I can show you the world!” Jon starts singing, loudly. He and Marinette both know he can sing better than he does, but being off-key only makes them both giggle harder. “Shining, shimmering, splendid!” He doesn’t know what comes over him that makes his boisterous, off-key yell give way at the next line, but it does. Instead, he barely whispers it. It’s just a sigh in the wind. “Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?”

Marinette blushes deeply, but laughs. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Yeah, maybe.” Jon chuckles. “But you’re stuck with me.”

Marinette hugs him tightly, rests her head on his chest and sighs contentedly, and Jon swears his heart skips a beat. “Thanks, Jon. This has been… there are no words. I’m so glad we met.”

Jon smiles softly. He has to resist the urge to kiss the top of her head. “Hey, that’s what Thanksgiving is about.” He takes another breath, but thinks better of it and instead says, “Hold on, let’s get down from here. I’ll show you one of my favorite places.”

Marinette nods silently against him, so he flies slowly over to his favorite tree and sets her down on his perch. They sit together, watching the stars, and Jon says, “I’m so thankful to have met you, you know. I… you gave me direction when I didn’t have any. You showed me what life without being a hero can be, and you helped me figure out what I want it to be. I hadn’t thought about that before. I always assumed, even later on when I hated it, that I’d always be Superboy. Or… or that I’d eventually be Superman.

“Marinette, I… I can’t imagine life without you. I have so much to be thankful for this Thanksgiving, and you’re… so much of it.” He sighs. “I wish I knew how to tell you how much it means. This doesn’t feel like enough, but… thank you. Thank you for sticking by me. Even when you found out I was Superboy, even when I doubt myself and whether I can really live peacefully- hell, even that, even looking for peace is because of you. If not for you I might still be chasing some unattainable ‘normal’ that I’ll never reach. I… It’d be an exaggeration to say you saved my life, but… you definitely changed it. For the better. I’m happier now than…” He lets out a weak chuckle and looks away. “Well, yeah. That’s what I wanted to say. I’m just… really thankful that you’re a part of my life.”

He sits there, cheeks burning, looking for constellations in the grass, for a long time. Then, Marinette’s melodic voice, strained ever so slightly, makes him jump. “I’m thankful for you, too.” She says. “When I left Paris, I left behind everything I knew. I was so scared, I- I didn’t have any safety net. But then I met you, and… I felt like things would be okay. I was an ocean away from home, from my friends, from everyone and everything I loved, but you made me feel at home.

“I don’t- I don’t know about normal, but you helped me find the life I want, too. This life. You stuck by me when I reacted… really immaturely and shut you out for so long. You stuck by me when I turned my back on all this and fought as Ladybug again- don’t… don’t say anything about that. Please.” Marinette takes a big shaky breath as Jon obediently shuts his mouth. That… that is a wound healed by their promise, but a wound nonetheless. Jon can only hope to continue nurturing it as they have been, rather than picking at it and reopening the thing. “You helped me reconcile being the guardian with the life that I want. I… I never thought I could do both. It never even occurred to me. If you hadn’t been here, I would… I would definitely have given Chat the guardianship and forgotten everything. Eventually, at least. In that sense… I think you did save my life.”

Jon looks over at her, at the constellations in her freckles, barely visible in the starlight, at the burn of the sun in her eyes, the gentle promise ring of the galaxy crossing her irises. Marinette worries her lip and ducks away. “So… this is my first Thanksgiving, but… the thing I’m most grateful for is you. Thank you for being a part of my life.”

Jon’s eyes water. He can’t help it. He knows he’s important to Marinette, just like she is to him, but to hear her spell it out so plainly casts a spell over his heart. It’s hard to breathe. All he can do is stare at her.

She looks up at him, too, and they share a small smile. A tiny, barely-there thing but one full of so much warmth and love that it’s unmistakable. She grabs his arm, leans on his shoulder, and they share that moment, sitting in the tree, gazing at the stars on the horizon, their touch like a hearth warming them from the onset of the chill of late November.

She looks up again; he can’t recall when she gets so close. She smells like the pies they baked last night, somehow, but also everything else. Like Thanksgiving, like gratitude, like her. He can feel her breath on his lips, lighter than the gentlest breeze. It takes him a moment to realize he’s leaning in, too.

That realization makes him jump. Marinette reels back, surprised, and they’re both sitting there, faces burning, not looking at each other.

Aw, hell. Jon beats himself up inside because he knows this is his fault. He doesn’t even know why he jumps. It just takes him by surprise. How stupid of him to react that way! To startle himself with something so… so… Especially because it’s not as if he doesn’t want it. He does! He wants to kiss her! Hell, I want to kiss her.

And when the hell did that happen?!

He needs a moment.

——-=——-

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[iamjustanotheroneshotwriter]

I love you 3000 (Tony Stark x daughter!reader)

[Yes, I am back writing stuff. For, we´ll see how long I´m motivated xD Feel free to send me some requests though!]

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[3.7K words]

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[Warning: FEELS. Major Endgame Spoilers]

[Storyline: 13 years past Endgame, you are Tony Starks 17 year old daughter and attending High school. Since your dad died, you had to attend all of the annual father-daughter dances with Happy and people keep on bullying because of that. All you want is meeting your real dad. (Morgan does not exist, you were born around the time she was born)]

You sat on your window sledge, looking outside. Everyone in your backyard was dressed in black. Avengers, former Avengers, S.H.I.E.L.D. Agents and a few people you didn´t even knew. Same thing as every year on your fathers death day. Your mum looks up towards your window. You had never really spent your dad´s death day outside and you weren´t going to start it now. You didn´t get why your mum wanted to celebrate this day every year anyway. You would´ve been happy with just a small dinner with only your family, instead your mum was hosting a party. You were so sick of people celebrating. Sometimes you felt like people were actually happy your dad died. You weren´t though. You wanted him to still be in your life.

You wanted to be like everyone else in high school. Even though you know it wasn´t true, everyone always seemed to have the perfect life with the perfect family in their perfect little world. And you just existed next to all of that. Hardly talking to anyone, just concentrated on school all the time. You were smart, but due to the experience of loosing your dad and the bullying that started all the way back in primary school, you had a lot of trouble staying focussed on your work. Which caused people to make even more fun of you. Famous daughter of genius Tony Stark isn´t even good in school. She would never live up to what Tony did. She would never be as smart, as talented, that´s just how it is. Her dad would just be embarrassed if he could see her, that was what everyone was saying.

And even though they didn´t knew what they were talking about, you felt like they were right. You created some stuff, but they could never live up to what your dad did. You wanted to be a hero like him, but you just couldn´t. The suit you build wasn´t as good as Iron Man. To be honest, Iron Man is a tough thing to live up to anyway. And you could never.

So, you were sure, this wasn´t a day, you should be celebrating. People should just stay to themselves instead of celebrating that Tony Stark isn´t here anymore.

You heard a small knock on your door.

“Come in,” you said, not even looking at your door.

“You should be downstairs. Not in here on your own,” you heard a familiar voice.

“I´m not celebrating the fact, that I don´t have a dad, Peter.”

Peter Parker, your longest friend, former babysitter and possibly the only person who gets you, walked into the room, closes the door behind him and sat down on the window sledge on the other side. You took a good look at him. He looked stressed, but if you were honest, there was hardly a day any more he didn´t. He was 29, had two kids and had just gone through a divorce. The whole situation left it´s marks, obviously. And during all of the, he still tried to keep being Spider-Man. But he´s been distracted. You can´t quite recall how often you heard on the new, that Spider-Man has been injured. It was really often though. You were actually scared you´d be loosing him as well sooner or later.

“You know, this is our way of showing him, how much we miss him.”

“Well, Peter, and this is mine.”

Peter stayed quite. And so did you. You didn´t knew how to feel, you felt sort of lost. It wasn´t because of Peter, it was probably just the day.

“You ever feel like you can´t live up to dad?,” you suddenly ask.

“I do. Sometimes I just feel like I´m supposed to be another Iron Man. But I can´t. I´ll never be him.”

“Feels horrible, doesn´t it? I feel like I´m always supposed to be like dad, but I can´t. I´m nothing like him.”

“What are you talking about? You´ve created an amazing suit, you are smart, you´ve been working in your dad´s lab so often by now, creating stuff. You are so much like him!”

“I´m stupid, I don´t even know if I can pass my SATs.”

“Being smart isn´t defined by your grades! I´ve seen you tinkering, creating that suit and talking to FRIDAY in a really smart way I wouldn´t even be able to talk to someone in. And I bet, you could do so much more, if you just believed in yourself a little more”

“I just miss him so much. I want him here, telling me all that kind of stuff, I´m sorry, Peter.”

You started crying. Peter tried to get closer to hug you, but you move away.

After a while of silently sitting in your room, you stopped crying again. You actually came up with an idea, though you weren´t sure, whether Peter would be alright with it.

“I want to see him. Not just the pictures all around the world, I want to meet him in person.”

“I know, Y/N, but you can´t.”

“Oh, but I can!”

Peter looked at you in confusion. He didn´t knew what to say or what you were actually talking about.

“You can´t. You´d have to travel back in time and that´s not possible.”

“I can though! You don´t have to pretend to not know anything, uncle Scott told me about the Time Heist and I´ve done some research. And FRIDAY has still got the data about the project saved. I can figure out a way to make the time machine work again. And I even know where the time machine is! I just never knew when the right time was. But now I know, it has to happen today, this is the right time.”

Peter stayed silent, thinking about what you just said.

“Are you in?,” you asked.

“I don´t know, Y/N, that sounds quite dangerous. You must´ve seen Back To The Future or similar time travel movies. Changing the slightest bit about the past can change the whole future.”

“That´s movies, Peter, time travel does not work that way! It´s safe, I promise!”

“If I die, that´s on you!”

“Awesome, let´s go!,” you exclaimed, jumping up from your seat.

“Right now?,” Peter asked, but instead of answering, you just nodded your head.

After you looked at your dad´s calculations about the recreation of Pym Particles, which were essential for a time travel through the quantum realm, you got into one of the cars down stairs. Your dad left you and your mum a few cars actually. You told Peter to get into he seat next to you. You were able to drive. Peter would probably say you weren´t really good at it, he was terrified he might die before even reaching the compound, but somehow, you got there alive.

When you arrived at the compound, you checked your phone. You were sure your mum must´ve texted you, there was no way, she didn´t see you leaving. And your were right.

Honey, where are you going?

- MUM

You thought about a good answer for a second.

Just need to get out, you

know I can´t stand dad´s

death day celebrations.

I took Peter with me by

the way. We´re at the

Compound, that´s all

- Y/N

You put your phone away again. Smiling at Peter. Then you entered the building. You were actually glad everyone was at your place right now, so no one would ever know, what you did. Peter followed you to the basement. You walked into the laboratory, looking if dad probably hid Pym Particles somewhere. You were really lucky, you had found just enough for the two of you to travel back in time and come back. But you had to create new ones after, it was for sure that at least Bruce knew about the Pym Particles and would know what happened, when he realized they were gone. But for now, that didn´t matter. You took all four of them and walked down to a locked room.

“Well, I guess this is over then, we can´t get in there, Doctor Banner must´ve locked it,” Peter said, already turning around.

“Scared, aren´t we?,” you joked, before pulling out a key.

“Locked doors have never been an issue, you out of all the people should´ve known that, Peter!”

He turned back to you rolling his eyes. You could tell he didn´t want to do this, but he had no choice but to join in or stay in the room and wait for you. Because you were going and he knew there was no way around it.

Peter followed you into the small room. Only GPS to activate the suit and the machine itself was in that room.

“I told you, I know where it is,” you said, smiling at your companion.

“Suit up, we´ve got a big journey ahead!,” you add before typing something into the GPS.

You hand it to Peter and he looks at it in slight confusion.

“You should know how dad´s nano tech works. Put it around your hand and tighten it! Then just press the button. I´ve set the timer already.”

Peter did as told and so did you. The suit materializes around both your bodies within seconds. Then you hand two of the vile with the Pym Particles to Peter.

“There is a compartment in your suit. Just put the viles in.”

Again Peter just followed your instructions.

Suddenly, Peter stopped, looking at you: “Y/N, I really don´t know if this is actually a good idea to be honest.”

“You can either join me or let me go on my own, I´m meeting my dad today!”

With that, you step to the remote pad, putting in some stuff, before stepping onto the machine. The machine powers up.

You look at Peter: “Are you coming or not?”

Peter struggles for a second, but then he steps onto the machine: “Let´s do this!”

Travelling through time was probably the worst thing you´ve ever felt. Your surroundings were crushing you, everything was spinning and you really felt like throwing up. And landing gracefully was the other thing that wasn´t really the way you expected it to be. You fell over as soon as your feet touched the ground. But at least Peter wasn´t really doing better.

“Where are we? I can´t see anything,” Peter asked.

You looked around. Itwas night time, but you knew the place. You were exactly were you wanted to be. Everything worked out the way you wanted it to work out.

“In the forest by the cabin. I remember this day vividly. It´s just shortly before dad goes on the time heist to save everyone. During the day, dad was playing hero with me outside, but then some of the Avengers came over talking to him about something. The time heist actually, but I didn´t knew that back then. At night time, he started figuring stuff out. I couldn´t really sleep, so we were downstairs in his workshop eating ice cream before I went to bed. I should be in bed by this time, but dad is still awake. This is like the only day with him I can remember this well. So come on, let´s meet my dad!”

Peter nodded. There was no going back any more anyway. The two of you walked over to the cabin. Only one light was still on, near the garage. You went over to the flowerpot where a spare key was hidden in and unlock the door.

“Looked doors are actually never a issue around you,” Peter laughed quietly, trying not to wake someone up.

“Told you so!”

The two of you entered the house and walked into your dad´s workshop. You had a weird feeling in your stomach before entering the workshop and you felt tears in your eyes. You hesitate. You were about to meet your dad, but at the same time you were scared. What if he hated the way you turned out to be? You couldn´t even blame him for doing so, he would be right.

“Are you alright?,” Peter whispered.

You nodded and took a deep breath. Then you opened a door. A man with grey hair jumped at the squeaking noise the door made and looked at the two of you. Shook was written all over his face in capital letters. He did have tears in his eyes. And so did you. Your dad was standing there, right in front of you and alive.

“Peter? This can´t be! You´re dead, you disintegrated in my arms, this can´t be!,” he exclaimed.

His voice. You haven´t heard it in ages only on record, but it sounded so familiar, like he´s always been there.

“I´m here. But not really. It´s complicated, Mister Stark,” Peter tried to explain.

Before he could continue, your dad had come over and pulled him into a hug. It hurt you a little, that he behaved like Peter was his son, but didn´t recognized you, but obviously, he couldn´t. The version of you that was upstairs asleep was 4 years old. And you did change a lot over the years.

“And who is this beautiful young lady? You look familiar,” your dad then said towards you.

“I- Dad,” you just managed to say.

He looked at you for a second before he recognized you. He starts crying and starts hugging you.

“Y/N? Look at you! You´ve grown so much and you´re so pretty! You look so much like your mum!”

Now you join in on his crying. You clinged to him and never wanted to let him go again. So for a couple of minutes you just stood there and cried.

“So, time travel does actually work? Lang has not gone insane?,” your dad asked.

You nodded: “Yes, dad, yes, it works! And you will save the planet, everyone is back, Thanos is gone.”

“So why are you here then? It sound´s pretty good!”

“Well-,” you stop.

How to tell your own dad that you wanted to see him, because he died saving the planet. That you missed him. You started crying a little bit again.

“I-,” your dad stopped and looked at you for a second.

“I didn´t make it, right? I died,” he then finished.

You nodded and your dad started hugging you again.

“I´m so sorry,” he said quietly.

You took a step back: “It´s not your fault.”

Your dad looked towards Peter: “There is some ice cream in the kitchen, if you wanted some. I´m just gonna go outside with Y/N, I really want to talk to her in private.”

Peter nodded and left the room while you and your dad left the workshop through a door straight to the outside. Your dad walked with you towards the lake and then slightly into the forest til he reached a tree that fell over into the water. You knew this place better than anything, it´s always been your favourite place. You always used to come here when you didn´t feel well or just needed a time-out.

“This is one of my favourite places. I always imagined that one day, we´d sit here, talking about your first invention, planning things, looking online for the most beautiful prom dress or talking about your first boyfriend. We could´ve build Iron Man suits together and maybe even a suit for you and I could´ve taught you everything I knew. And for sure that two of us would´ve skipped a lot of dinners to get Cheeseburgers,” your dad imagined.

You tried your best not start crying again: “This is actually my favourite spot as well. I always come here if I need to calm down and to think about things.”

“Which probably rarely even happens. You´re for sure top of your class and people like you and you´ve got a lot of friends, don´t you?”

“Actually not. It´s just all so complicated. I got bullied since I started school. Everyone had basically their perfect little family. Girls went to father daughter dances with their dads, had their dads at school to introduce their job and got picked up by them. I went to father daughter dances with happy, mum always told about the company at school and I always had one of the Avengers picking me up and people just hated me for all of that and wouldn´t talk to me.”

You really wanted to cry again, but you couldn´t.

“I´m so sorry, I never wanted this to happen to you! But most families are dysfunctional, but who can say that the Avengers are their family. Even if it´s hard, I´d say you´re pretty lucky. Your mother is amazing and so are the Avengers. Even Steve though we fought a lot.”

“Steve isn´t with us any more. After your death, he travelled back in time to bring back the stones. He decided to stay with Peggy, he didn´t came back. In the end, he was dying because of his age. I think he had a really good life though.”

“So he did, what I told him to. Actually, I´m glad to hear that.”

“The thing is just I always felt out of place. My grades slipped and by now everyone is just telling me how embarrassed you would be, if you could see me now and how lucky I am that you can´t. They keep calling me a disgrace for the Stark family.”

“You´re everything but that! Just look at you! I couldn´t be any prouder! Life doesn´t depend on grades or likes and I love you just the way you are!”

You started crying a little bit again.

“Dad, I´m proud of you too. You saved everyone. You are the hero who ended up saving the world. And you died saving it.”

“I´d do everything to make the world safe for my daughter!”

“You didn´t just do it for me, did you? It was for him too,” you said, looking towards the house.

Your dad nodded: “Peter is like a son to me.”

“He has always been like a brother to me. He always tried to be there for me.”

“I want to make the world safer too, dad, to be honest. I´ve been trying to build a suit, but I feel like everyone is expecting me to live up to you.”

“You can´t, honey. No one can. And I don´t want you. The world doesn´t need another Tony Stark. Now what the world needs is a Y/N Stark. And I know you´ll be doing just amazing! And honestly, I would´ve loved to build a suit together with you! Tony and Y/N Stark! The perfect team I´d imagine.”

You smiled a little: “Actually, I´ve got my suit here right now.”

Your dad look at you and you double tapped your watch. The suit started building up around you.

“Nano Tech, I love it!,” your dad exclaimed.

“I guess I learned from the best!”

You and your dad discussed your suit for a little time and he gave you a lot of good advise you wanted to use to make your suit even better.

“I can see it right in front of me: Y/N Stark, the best hero the world has ever seen!”

“You know, mum is gonna kill me, if I started being a hero.”

Your dad nodded.

“Dad, I think Peter and I should head back. It was so good meeting you though. Dad, I love you so much,” you said a little bit sad and got up.

“I love you 3000!,” your dad answered.

“Yeah dad, I love you 3000!”

Silently the two of you walked back to the house. Peter was already sitting outside waiting for you.

“Ready to go?,” he asked.

You shook your head: “To be honest, not really, but I know we can´t stay, so yes, I am ready I think.”

Your dad hugged Peter first: “Promise me, you keep on taking good care of my daughter!”

Peter nodded in response: “Always, Mister Stark!”

Then your dad hugged you. You started crying again, you didn´t want to say goodbye. But you had no choice, even though, this was going to be really hard.

“You´ll be alright! I´m so proud of you and I´ll be watching you from beyond, always keeping you safe,” he said.

“I love you 3000, Dad!,” you said again before letting go of him.

Peter took you hand. Together you pushed the button on your GPS, having the time travel suits building up around you again. You wave one last time, before travelling back to the future.

Again, you had problems landing on your feet and landed on the floor instead. You were still crying and Peter started hugging you until you stopped. Since no time passed, you suggested you´d go back to the cabin. You were suddenly in the mood joining the celebrations of your dad´s death day. He so deserved to be praised and celebrated, he was an amazing person.

“I´m glad we did that, Peter. I feel so much better now!”

At night time, after everyone left, you and your mum were sitting in the living room next to the fire. You have been talking all evening about your dad and you were really happy about it.

“What caused this sudden change of mind?,” your mum asked after a while.

You didn´t have to think about what you wanted to answer: “I had a vision. I´ve seen dad. And I´ve seen what an amazing man he is. I realized that he´s worth celebrating!”

“I´m proud of you, honey!”

“Thank you mum. I love you!

“I love you two!”

In the past, Tony stood outside the cabin, still waving at his daughter that was gone now. Just when he wanted to go back inside, Pepper stepped out of the cabin.

“Are you alright? I felt like I heard you talking!,” she said.

Tony smiled: “You must´ve dreamed. Or maybe, I could´ve been talking to myself, I´ve been trying to figure this out!”

“Did you figured it out then?”

Tony nodded: “I did. And I´m going to help the Avengers. I just had a vision. About our daughter being grown up already. I made the decision, I´m gonna be a hero for one last time. I want to make the world safe for her.”

“What do you mean by one last time?,” Pepper asked in a bit of shock.

“I dont want to continue this! For the family. We´ll be a proper family when all of this is over,” he said before kissing his wife.

He wouldn´t tell her, that that wasn´t the truth. But after seeing his daughter, he knew, that he left the world with someone really special. He would never regret saving it.

[ninthfeather]

because your smile still remains

Also on AO3!

A/N: This fic is a commission for FabHawk, who wanted Haruka interacting with his father post-Summertime Record. Please note that I play pretty fast and loose with canon, which is to say that everything except the songs is basically “guidelines” to me, but this takes place in a timeline that’s basically “the music timeline except everyone lives at the end like in the anime because I like Ayano.” Haruka’s dad doesn’t have a canon name, so I gave him one for convenience.

Title is from Will Stetson’s English translyrics for “Remind Blue.” Thanks to FabHawk for beta-ing her own goshdarn commission because that’s just how awesome she is. 

Warnings in the end note!

because your smile still remains

Loving a terminally ill person was a balance of hope and realism. Hiroshi learned that with his wife and relearning it with his child was like having his heart ripped out all over again. At first, it was easy to believe that his child might beat the odds, might survive what his mother didn’t, but eventually, Hiroshi had to be realistic.

So, while he kept pressuring the doctor for more treatments and looked for other doctors with new ideas…he’d also had Haruka write up a will. Haruka had, of course, smiled through the whole thing, even while Hiroshi tried not to cry in front of a stranger.

He’d trusted Haruka with information about his own health all those years ago because he thought knowing might…help. He sometimes wondered if that was a mistake. It was so easy to overthink and second-guess, when your time with a person you loved was running out.

Then, on August 15th, Haruka went missing, and suddenly, everything turned inside out.

When your child was missing, Hiroshi learned, you never knew for sure if they were dead or alive. You always had an image of them out there, somewhere, unchanged from the last time you saw them, living a life without you. You also had an image of them dead by a roadside somewhere. You never knew which image was correct, and it kept you up at night.

Hiroshi knew that Haruka couldn’t have lasted more than a week without his medications. Some part of him still screamed that his child might be out there, somewhere, waiting for his dad to rescue him.

In the end, he waited a month to hold a funeral, but he did hold it. It was a small affair, mostly family and a few people from the hospital. None of Haruka’s friends came—one had gone missing along with him, and another had killed herself on the same day. The last one still alive had shut himself up in his house and was refusing calls. According to his sister, he wouldn’t even open the boxes of light novels and manga that Haruka had willed to him.

On one level, Hiroshi understood. On another, he was incredibly frustrated. Didn’t his incredible, selfless son deserve this much? One friend, at his funeral?

He tried not to be bitter. He tried to reach out to Kisaragi, but all he got were increasingly embarrassed responses from his younger sister. Eventually, he gave up.

He threw himself into his work, tried to move on, became the kind of distant, weird researcher Aoi and Haruka often accused him of being. He wrecked a good half of his friendships and didn’t talk to his co-workers outside of job-related matters for months. But he’d done this before, when Aoi died, and his oldest friends knew what was coming. They waited him out and were there for him when he finally broke.

After two years passed, he could honestly say that he was…not okay. Okay wasn’t the right word. He’d lost a spouse and a son and that was more than one person should have to bear in a lifetime. But he was moving forward again.

And then the world turned inside out on him once again.

It was two weeks after the anniversary of Haruka’s disappearance. This year was better than last—instead of spending the day working, he’d gone for a grave visit with old Mrs. Enomoto. They’d thought about inviting Dr. Tateyama, too, but Hiroshi was still a little angry that he hadn’t come to Haruka’s funeral, and anyhow Mrs. Enomoto’s calls to him never went through properly.

By now, the grief was more like an ache than an open wound. He could look at the reminders of how his home used to belong to three people instead of one and think “This place is really too big for me,” instead of just starting to cry.

He still wasn’t that much of a social butterfly, though, so he was surprised to hear d a knock on the door around 6:30 pm.

He always had regretted not having a peephole in the door. He’d wanted to install one, once, but both Aoi and Haruka had told him he wasn’t good enough at DIY, and he’d never bothered having a workman over to put one in. So, in the end, he had to open the door and hope that whoever was knocking wasn’t a murderer or a door-to-door salesperson.

It…was not.

Hiroshi blinked. Then tried, again, to make sense of what he was seeing.

There were two teenagers in the doorway, one seated in a hospital-issue wheelchair and one standing behind him. The one who was standing looked somewhat familiar, although Hiroshi couldn’t quite place him. But the one sitting in the wheelchair…

His hair was grey, and there was an odd pattern on his face that looked almost like a tattoo. He was thinner than Hiroshi remembered. But in every other way possible, this person looked exactly like Haruka.

“Hi, Dad,” he said, and it was Haruka’s voice, too.

Hiroshi didn’t understand.

This couldn’t be real. He’d had dreams like this, of course, but there was no way...even if Haruka had been kidnapped, even if the kidnappers had meant to keep him alive….

The doctors had given Haruka  a year to live a little under two years ago. 

“I don’t understand,” he said aloud. 

His voice was probably shaking. He wasn’t sure anymore.

“Yeah, join the club,” said the other teenager. Thin, dark-eyed, wearing a bright red jersey--it took Hiroshi a while to place him.

“Kisaragi?” he managed.

“Yeah,” Kisaragi said. “And this really is Haruka. Things have gotten...weird. Can we come in?”

Too stunned to do otherwise, Hiroshi stepped aside and motioned for them to come in.

“Why wouldn’t it be me?” Haruka asked, all innocent curiosity.

“We had a funeral, moron,” Kisaragi said. “And you were...sick.”

“Oh, yeah,” Haruka said. “I...kind of remember? It’s blurry.”

“That’s fine,” Kisaragi said. “You don’t have to remember everything.”

“You...what?” Hiroshi asked, shutting the door behind them as he scrambled to keep up.

Kisaragi slipped off his shoes at the genkan. “Haruka’s memory is a mess,” he said.

Haruka himself was also wearing shoes, which he took off and passed to Kisaragi. “Yeah, uh, it’s a long story.”

“What happened?” Hiroshi asked.

Kisaragi gave him a careful look. “Why don’t we sit down for this?”

They settled in the living room—Haruka still in his wheelchair, wedged awkwardly next to Kisaragi on the recliner, as Hiroshi took the couch.

“So, uh, how well did you know Tateyama Kenjirou?” Kisaragi asked.

“He never returned our calls,” Hiroshi said. “I don’t think I’ve seen him since, uh—” He blinked, realizing. “Haruka, Dr. Tateyama’s daughter—”

“She’s fine, too,” Kisaragi interrupted. “He faked her suicide.”

“He—what?”

“And kidnapped me,” Haruka added. “And Takane.”

Hiroshi was on his feet before he realized it. “No, seriously, what?”

Haruka blinked at him, wide-eyed.

“All this time—two years—you were right here—” Hiroshi probably sounded hysterical. He didn’t care.

Haruka held up his hands. “He had us in, uh—Shintarou, what’s the word—”

“Medically induced coma.”

“Yeah, that! He wasn’t hurting us!”

Something in Hiroshi’s chest loosened, even as he heard his voice rise in pitch. “He still let us think you were dead!”

“Yeah,” Haruka said, quiet. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Hiroshi said. “It wasn’t your fault, so don’t apologize.”

He crossed the room, then leaned down to wrap his arms around his son. To his surprise, Haruka stood, meeting him halfway and squeezing him tightly enough to ache.

After a few seconds, Hiroshi gently lowered him back toward the chair, then released the embrace.

“So, the wheelchair is until you finish up PT from the coma?” he asked.

“Actually, the doctors think I should keep using one,” Haruka said.

“The doctors don’t really know what Dr. Tateyama was doing, but whatever it was, Haruka’s heart is doing better,” Kisaragi put in. “They suggested that he avoid basically any strain and they wanted access to his full medical records, but they sounded a lot more optimistic about his, uh, outlook than they were before.”

“So, Tateyama stole my son for two years and fixed his heart problem?” Hiroshi asked numbly.

“Maybe?” Kisaragi said. “I think they wanted to run more tests.”

“Do you think whatever he did is also what changed your hair color?” Hiroshi asked.

Kisaragi and Haruka exchanged a look. Hiroshi was pretty sure that meant ‘it was actually hair dye but we don’t want Haruka’s dad mad at us.’

“So, do the police have Tateyama in custody?” Hiroshi asked.

“About that!” Haruka said. “He’s, uh—he’s—”

“He’s dead,” Kisaragi said. “He did something stupid, he died, and it wasn’t any of our faults, but we don’t have evidence of that, so we’d really like it if you didn’t get the police involved.”

“Who’s this ‘we’?” Hiroshi asked.

“Me, my sister, Haruka, Takane, Ayano, Ayano’s 12-year-old aunt, her newly-traumatized friend, Ayano’s siblings, and their friend who lives in the woods,” Kisaragi said. “I think that’s everyone. Haruka, is that everyone?”

“I have memory problems; you have a perfect memory,” Haruka said. “Why are you asking me?”

“Mean,” Kisaragi complained.

“Why were all of you involved?” Hiroshi asked.

“There were several more attempted kidnappings,” Kisaragi said. “Some attempted murder thrown in for flavor. It was a fun two days. If I think about them more, I’ll have to have a panic attack in your bathroom and I’d really rather not.”

Hiroshi glanced at Haruka, whose expression was completely serious. Not exaggerating, then.

“Okay, fine,” Hiroshi said. “I, uh, Haruka, your bedroom—”

“I know, you followed the will,” Haruka said. “And I doubt you’ve had time to clean it regularly. It’s fine. It’s been…rough, after everything. I miss you, but I also don’t wanna leave the others alone. So, I’ve been staying with Ayano and Shintarou and Takane at their house, for now.”

“You’re still welcome to come home if you want,” Hiroshi said. “Your room won’t be ready right away, but I can have it cleaned up pretty soon.”

“I’d like that,” Haruka said. “I want to stay over sometimes. But I’m 18, you know! And I have a lot to figure out, now.”

Yes, yes he did. A whole life ahead of him, even, if those doctors were correct in their assessments.

“Still, I’ve missed you,” Hiroshi said. “I want to see as much of you as I can.”

“You can always visit us, too,” Kisaragi said.

Both of them looked at him in surprise.

Kisaragi flushed. “Well, he can,” he said. “I’m sure the others won’t mind, if we ask.”

“Kano probably will,” Haruka said.

“Kano can kiss my—” Kisaragi broke off. “And Ayano can handle him, anyhow.”

Hiroshi smiled. “I’ll take you up on that, I think. But in the meantime, can you stay awhile tonight?”

“Yeah,” Haruka said. “The others won’t expect us back until later.”

“You haven’t had dinner yet, have you?” Hiroshi asked, already knowing how his son would answer.

“What does it matter?” Haruka asked. “You know I’m always hungry. What are you making?”

Hiroshi got up to look through the fridge and revelled in the opportunity to cook for his son again. There was still a tiny part of him that thought this might be a dream, and he still had so many questions. But he could savor this, without letting himself doubt or worry, just for now.

A/N: Warnings for discussion of terminal illness, end-of-life preparations, child death, kidnapping, and comas, as well as mentions of suicide and murder. Also, the narrator briefly believes himself to be hallucinating.

Yes, I know there’s some debate about how old Haruka is. In my fics, he’s 18, because I decided he was. Similarly, my characterization of Haruka’s dad does not necessarily cleave perfectly to the LN, because I don’t do well with discussion of terminal illness (yes I realize the irony, I can handle writing it but it’s a pretty hard squick for me in media) so I didn’t reread the relevant LN portions and mostly used the wiki.

For anyone curious, Hiroshi’s name is written (天 ) and means “sky” or “heavens.” I chose it to fit Haruka’s association with sky motifs and to be alliterative with his name.

Finally, yes, Haruka uses a wheelchair, yes, he can stand; ambulatory wheelchair users exist and given Haruka’s canon health situation it’s my headcanon that he can stand and walk short distances.

If you, too, would like to commission a thing, 8 slots have been filled, so there’s still time! The post is here!

Thank you for reading!

[ignis-scientia-estrogen-brigade]

If you’ve been following me on Twitter, you might have seen my thread documenting the Ignis-inspired itabag I made in order to have something to display all of my Ignis charms when I headed up to Anime Expo last Thursday. I sewed all night and day to have it done in time for AX and I only just now got around to taking some decent photos of it! Construction details below the cut:

Once my collection of Ignis swag had grown beyond what a single lanyard could reasonably carry, I started looking into itabags that could better display all of my stuff. Wanting something that would fit the theme, I found this skull itabag online that I felt would be appropriately Ignis. But at $40, my first thought was, “I could probably make that for less.” I also thought that I could make it even more on the nose by having a purple Coeurl-print lining peeking out from behind the skull, so I headed down to my local fabric store in search of leopard print fabric. As I was shopping, I had an epiphany—instead of just making the bag mildly Ignis-themed, why don’t I take it a step further and make the display area his shirt? And thus, a plan was born.

I think what really solidified my idea was finding some crinkly leather fabric that matched his collar, as well as black denim that closely resembled his Crownsguard fatigues. I also found a leopard-print in the bargain bin that, while I wouldn’t consider to be cosplay-accurate, was definitely good enough for itabag purposes. Since it was clearly a synthetic material, I had to buy some specialty dye to achieve the desired level of purple.

This was the color of the fabric before I dyed it. Mostly black and white, with a slight hint of blue. The spots were a little bigger than what was accurate to Ignis’ shirt in the game, but all in all it was quite the awesome find!

After one round of dye. I used about half of the recommended amount of dye for the dye bath because I wanted a very subtle color. This turned out to be too subtle, so I dropped it into the bath again.

Round two. I really should have stopped here, but Ignis’ shirt looks different depending on the lighting and angle and I was afraid this was still not quite purple enough. Into the dye bath once more.

I had a #yolo moment and added more dye to the bath, which proved to be my undoing. This certainly doesn’t look awful, but it’s not what I would call screen-accurate (too purple). I wasn’t making this for cosplay purposes though, so I decided to just roll with it and move forward with the bag construction.

This was the pattern I had initially started to use for the backpack, but ultimately the only thing I took away from it was the shape of the outside (which I ended up changing in the end anyway). At the very least, it helped give me an idea of how a backpack should be put together. More importantly, however, was getting the look of the “shirt” right, so I spent a lot of time measuring, pinning, pleating, and ironing. “I love sewing pleats!” said no cosplayer ever. >.> (Also, you can see how differently the fabric photographs depending on the lighting.)

The “access point” where you stick your hand in to hang your charms is right down the middle there. There’s a long strip of velcro just behind those buttons, which seemed like a good idea at the time but in practice proved to be not as ergonomical as I had hoped.

The #1 most important part of this project for me was including the skull pendant my dear friend @hypaalicious sent me after my dad died. I’ve had it for a while now, and while I’ve worn it here and there, I was always afraid wearing it too much for fear of losing it. I’m so happy I finally found a perfect place to display it! ♡♡♡

After finishing the shirt, I moved on to the rest of the bag. The arrangement here was modeled off the aforementioned skull itabag, although now having worn it around for a day I would definitely do this layout a bit differently. At this point the backpack was still square (like the backpack pattern in the link a few paragraphs above); ultimately I rounded the top corners a bit to better match what a traditional backpack looks like.

The perfect Ignis denim I bought came with the unfortunate caveat of being stretchy, which is not a quality you really want in your backpack material. There are ways around this; fusing it to another fabric will rid it of most of its stretchiness while adding a bit of stiffness, something you do want in backpack material. Unfortunately, I severely overestimated how stiff I would need it to be and fused it to duck cloth, which is just about the thickest, stiffest fabric out there. That meant my sewing machine really had its work cut out for it when it came to sewing through multiple layers. At its thickest, I was sewing through ten layers of fabric! I broke five needles trying to get through everything. If I do this project again, I’d definitely fuse the denim to something much, much thinner.

I wanted an inside pocket to put my chapstick and other small things in; even though I knew no one else would see this besides me, I took the time to line up the spots on the pocket with those of the lining. :D

#restofthefuckingowl It was getting late and I was in a hurry to get everything done, so unfortunately I don’t have any more photos of the process after that. But here’s a photo immediately after I finished it! You can see that I added side pockets modeled to look like Ignis’ jean pockets (I ended up storing business cards and a bottle of sunscreen in mine).

I hope you enjoyed this write-up and/or are inspired to make your own themed-itabag! I got a lot of really wonderful feedback on Twitter and I sincerely appreciate the warm response. I did have a few people asking me if I would ever take commissions; I think this project is probably a bit too labor-intensive for these to be reasonably priced, but I’ve already begun to think about a better 2.0 version of this bag, and I think selling a pattern + in-depth tutorial for it at a nominal price could conceivably happen! If I did that, I’d probably sell this particular bag (sans necklace), so keep your eyes peeled here or on Twitter in the future for news on that. :)

Twitter || ISEB Store

[angelofthequeers]

Ladybug and Reine Nuit: Chapter 17

Dark Cupid I

Disclaimer: I don’t own ML.

I’m still salty that Kagami’s canon outfit is a literal school uniform because…she’s Japanese?

And Chloé seems pretty stagnant now but that’s because there’s not much pushing her to change. She’s still under the delusion that Adrien will eventually come back to her and she hasn’t hit rock bottom…yet.

@miraculousl4dybug​ @livinthebilife​ tagged as requested :)

Check out my Ko-fi for writing commissions!

Chapter 16 | Chapter 18

“In most fairy tales, the prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess,” Ms Bustier says. “Can anyone tell us why?”

“Because only love can conquer hate!” Rose sighs. Although Adrien’s only half-listening to the lesson, his brain demonstrates its useful skill from years of home-schooling by still absorbing what’s being said while his focus remains on the terrifying project in front of him: a love letter. More specifically, a love poem. For Marinette.

Wait, what is he even thinking? This is a terrible idea! He’s going to utterly fail, and Marinette’s going to hate it, and their friendship will be over with a capital O, and they’ll never run away to an island far away from everything and live off nothing but fruit and get married and have two kids – or maybe three, depending on what Marinette wants – and a little pet hamster –

“Adrien, I hope what you’re writing has to do with my lesson.” Ms Bustier’s voice jolts him out of his panicked daze. “Can you tell me what I just said?”

“That's why in most fairy tales, the prince breaks the spell by kissing the princess because only love conquers hate,” Adrien rattles off automatically.

“Very good!” Ms Bustier says just as the bell rings. The students immediately start packing up, so she calls out their homework for the night before they can start swarming to leave. “And Happy Valentine’s Day, everybody!”

Adrien fumbles to pull a small box out of his pocket with trembling fingers as he, Marinette, Nino, and Alya emerge into the crowded courtyard. This is it. Even if he can’t go through with the poem, he can do this, right? This doesn’t require words –

“You got this for moi, Adrikins?” Chloé snatches the box from him and gives an exaggerated gasp when she opens it to reveal a small golden ring with a ruby set in the centre. “Oh, you shouldn’t have! I love you too!”

“I didn’t –”

“I’m flattered!” Chloé slides the ring onto her finger and holds it up to show everyone who’s stopped to investigate the noise. “I’ll be expecting you to pick me up tonight, Adrikins! Mwah!” She gives him a wet kiss on the cheek and saunters off, while girls everywhere rush after her, some of them even crying.

“But that’s not…for you…” Adrien sighs and looks down.

“Uh, is that thievery?” Nino said. “Dude, I’m pretty sure she robbed you.”

“Oooh, who was it for?” Alya says, nudging Adrien. “Who’s the lucky lady who’s caught Adrien’s eye?” The smirk on her face strikes fear into Adrien’s very soul. There’s no way Alya doesn’t know who he’s crushing on. No way at all.

“Alya, leave him alone,” Marinette chastises half-heartedly.

“Hey, my dad got akumatised two days ago because Kim thought he could run faster than a panther,” Alya says. “It’s either this or I sulk and ruin everyone’s day.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Adrien mumbles. “She wouldn’t be my Valentine anyway.”

“That’s a load of rubbish, Adrien Agreste!” Marinette snaps with her hands on her hips. “You’re a total dork, and you’re cute, and you’re really sweet, and anyone would be lucky to have you!”

Blood rushes to Adrien’s cheeks at Marinette’s vehement defence of him, especially with her beautiful face set in a scowl like an avenging angel from above. “Um – manks, Thari – I mean…thanks, Marinette.”

“She’s right, you know,” says a voice from behind her. Marinette steps aside to let Kagami walk next to her as they descend the school steps. “You need to be surer in yourself, Adrien. If you’re uncertain in yourself, how do you expect anyone else to be certain in you?”

Adrien sighs. “Thanks, Kagami. But she’s way out of my league.”

“Of course she is, if you let brats like that steal right from the palm of your hand.” Kagami jabs her thumb over at Chloé, who’s showing off “her” ring to a crowd of envious girls. Sabrina, who’s passing by with Alix and Nathaniel, blinks at Chloé and jumps away on autopilot. Alix and Nathaniel immediately sling their arms around her comfortingly and escort her away.

Poor Sabrina. Untangling herself from Chloé is a daily struggle for her, especially since she can’t even look at Chloé without starting to panic, no doubt triggered by her ordeal with Antibug. Her new style, divorced from her old one while still retaining her nerdy nature, is just one way she’s working on that, such as the white blouse and lilac cardigan she’s wearing with her royal blue plaid skirt today. The only reason she hasn’t moved to another class is because Alix and Nathaniel are the only people who seem to be willing to befriend Chloé’s Best Friend; even the other classes are well aware of Chloé Bourgeois and her reign of terror.

Adrien shakes himself out of his thoughts for the second time that day as they draw level with his car, where his bodyguard holds the back door open for him.

“Bye, dude,” Nino says, holding his hand out for a fist bump. Adrien bumps it and gets into his car, then rolls down his window to wave at his friends until his bodyguard drives off.

.

“So, Mari, who’s your friend?” Alya says with a nod at Kagami, trying to act like she’s never seen the girl before in her life. Even though she technically has. But no one’s supposed to know that she’s Reine Nuit. And Kagami’s wearing a different outfit to the fencing uniform she’d worn the first time Alya had seen her: a red sweater over a white collared button-up, both elbow-length, tucked into a black skirt, with black tights and red sneakers.

“Oh!” Marinette facepalms. “Alya, Nino, this is Kagami. We met her when she showed up to the fencing tryouts.”

“And got akumatised,” Kagami mutters.

“No sweat, dude,” Nino says. “I got akumatised too ‘cause Adrien’s dad wouldn’t let me throw him a party. It’s that dick Hawkmoth’s fault, not yours.”

Kagami frowns at Nino, as though she’s studying him in a new light.

“This is my best friend Alya,” Marinette says, gesturing to Alya. “And this is Adrien’s best friend Nino. Not that he’s not our friend, of course!”

“Operation Valentine’s Day is commencing!” Max announces from nearby. Alya, Marinette, Nino, and Kagami slow their pace to listen in. “According to my extensive research and cross-referencing of online shopping sites, this particular jewel –” He produces a heart-shaped box from behind his back and offers it to Kim, who opens it, “– was ranked highest in popularity.”

“That's perfect, Max!” Kim says. “I better hit a home run with this one. Love is like baseball, right? You gotta have a strategy or you'll strike out. But if you aim right, you'll hit it out of the ball park. Score!”

Alya lights up at this major crush scoop, and she drags Marinette over to the boys. Nino and Kagami exchange glances and follow them.

“Oh, yes, Kim, lovely metaphor,” Max says absently.

“Meta-who?” Kim says, looking inside the box again.

“Ooh, sparkly!” Alya pulls Kim’s hands down to see what’s inside the box, and she catches a glimpse of a golden heart-shaped brooch inlaid with sapphires. “Is that for moi? You know, to make up for getting my dad akumatised?”

“Negative, Alya,” Max says. “The recipient of this gem has already been determined. It’s –”

Kim grabs Max around the neck and slaps a palm over his mouth. “Shh!” the jock hisses. “Keep it on the down-low!”

“Omg! Kim’s got a major crush!” Alya giggles, giddy with Valentine’s-Day-by-proxy fever. Well, at least she seems to have moved past the Animan incident, if she’s not wanting to strangle Kim now. “Who’s the lucky lady?”

“I don’t think that’s exactly appropriate to ask if he’s said he doesn’t want to disclose that information,” Kagami says. Kim shoots her a grateful look.

“Fine, fine,” Alya says. “I won’t pry.”

“It’s awesome, dude!” Nino says. “She’s gonna love it.”

“Technically, she's still gotta accept it,” Kim says, scratching the back of his head. His eyes widen. “What if she says no?”

“She won’t, Kim!” Marinette says, pumping her fist. “Don’t hold back! Go for it! No regrets!”

Kim grins and high-fives Max. “Operation Valentine’s Day is underway!” He starts jogging on the spot, while Max pulls out a map of the area.

“Her route is highlighted here in yellow, yours in red,” Max recites. “If you run at ten miles per hour, you're going to gain a four-and-a-half-minute advance on her. Halt and wait here facing northwest – the third most romantic spot in Paris.”

Alya and Marinette grin and shoot Kim encouraging thumbs-up.

“Go on, dude!” Nino says. “Knock her over!”

“Thanks, guys!” Kim says before sprinting away.

“Come on!” Alya says to Kagami and Nino. “I bet we can get Marinette’s papa to sneak us some of their Valentine’s Day treats!”

“I don’t know…” Kagami says. “I should have called my driver minutes ago.”

“Dude, Adrien’s getting pushed around by his schedule enough,” Nino says. “Fight the system!”

Alya and Marinette raise their eyebrows at him. Kagami takes a deep breath, then types a message on her phone.

“I told my driver to wait an hour before picking me up, so that I can spend time with Adrien and develop our friendship. My mother will be displeased, but I’ll offer her extra training to compensate for this. I just hope she doesn’t realise that I’m lying.”

“Hey, rich kids gotta stick together, right?” Alya teases. Kagami, who looks a little pale, just raises an eyebrow at her.

“Yay!” Marinette hugs Kagami. “Come on! If we hurry, we’ll make it before Papa sells all the treats!”

As they’re sprinting down a street and weaving between shoppers, Marinette crashes into someone and shrieks as they both lose their balance. Acting on superhero reflexes, Alya grabs Marinette and keeps her on her feet, while Kagami catches the other person.

“Adrien?” she says as the person groans. “What are you doing? Shouldn’t you be at home?”

“I –” Adrien stuffs something into his bag and grins sheepishly. “Nothing! I just…wanted to get out of the car…”

“You’re a horrible liar, Agreste,” Kagami says. “Although at least I’m technically not lying now.”

Just then, everyone’s phones except for Kagami’s buzz, and Alya gasps when she’s fished hers out and sees what Chloé’s sent them.

“That witch!” she hisses, angling her phone so that Kagami can see the picture of Kim kneeling and covered in trash.

“Nothing I say is even doing anything!” Adrien’s shoulders slump. “I thought she really valued our friendship enough to want to become a better person. Maybe if I give a little and talk to her to nudge her –”

“Nope,” Alya says immediately. “That’s what she wants. You give her an inch, she’ll take a mile.”

“It’s not your responsibility to make her change, dude,” Nino agrees.

“Some people just won’t change,” Kagami says. “You just need to –” Her eyes widen. “Look out!”

Alya has just enough time to register the winged red and black figure behind Adrien before they’re nocking an arrow to their bow and shooting straight at Marinette. Before a wide-eyed Marinette can so much as blink in reaction, Adrien’s throwing himself in front of her with his arms out, taking the arrow straight to his chest.

“Adrien!” Marinette gasps as he doubles over, while the arrow dissolves. “Oh my gosh, are you okay? What did he do to you?”

“I – I –” Adrien straightens up and rips himself free of Marinette’s grasp. His lips, curved in a snarl, are now pitch black. “I loathe you, Marinette! Everyone thinks you’re such a perfect princess!” He grins cruelly at Kagami. “We both know I won that point, Kagami. Marinette’s just too sickeningly soft to stand by her judgement. Always afraid to hurt other people like the disgusting angel she is!”

“Come on, dude!” Nino grabs Marinette’s arm and drags her out of the way of another arrow. “We gotta get out of here!”

“But what about Adrien?” Marinette protests. Kagami and Alya grab her other arm.

“Nothing we can do for him right now,” Alya says. “We just gotta wait for Ladybug and Reine Nuit to show up!”

Her words seem to pierce through Marinette’s daze like one of the akuma’s arrows, because Marinette shakes her head and flees the scene with her friends, ducking and darting around the screaming passers-by. A good distance away, Alya ‘accidentally’ loses her grip on Marinette and lets herself get sucked into the crowd, pretending she doesn’t hear her friends’ cries. Once she’s able to extract herself from the panicking people, she darts down an alleyway and cries, “Plagg, claws out!”

As Reine Nuit, she leaps out and elbows her way through the crowd back to where the akuma had been, but he’s nowhere in sight. Thankfully, an angel of an entirely different kind lands next to her and says, “It’s Kim! Hawkmoth must have gotten him after Chloé did that.”

“I wish I could slap her and get away with it,” Reine Nuit huffs, crossing her arms.

“Ladybug! Reine Nuit!” Nino skids to a halt, with Kagami following at a more dignified pace. “Marinette and Alya! We lost ‘em – they could be –”

“Marinette’s safe,” Ladybug says quickly. “I got her out of here. She told me that it’s Kim and the akuma has to be in the pin she saw – the one he wanted to give to Chloé.”

Of course! “Alya’s safe too,” Reine Nuit says. “Pulled her out of the way just in time. You guys need to get somewhere safe. Angel bug and I have to…” She shudders. “Protect Chloé.”

“That’s the spirit!” Ladybug says cheerfully with a wide, plastic smile. “Let’s go!”

They bound towards Le Grand Paris, praying that they won’t be too late – although in Reine Nuit’s case at least, it’s more because it’ll be a pain to predict where he’s going once he’s got his revenge on Chloé. They arrive just in time; Chloé’s about to enter the hotel, and Kim is nearby with an arrow ready. Just as he’s about to shoot, Ladybug catches his wrist with her yo-yo and yanks his aim off.

“Ladybug!” he snarls, whirling to face them on their rooftop. Chloé screams and runs away down the street.

“Stop it, Kim!” Ladybug says.

“I’m not Kim! I’m Dark Cupid, and I’ll never stop! If I can’t have love, then no one can!”

“Okay, Dark Cupid, I get it.” Ladybug holds her hands up placatingly. “Chloé totally burned you. But that doesn't mean you have to take it out on all of Paris!”

“Oh, yes I do! I won't stop until everyone's heart is crushed. Say adios to your loved ones. From now on, you'll hate them!”

Dark Cupid shoots arrow after arrow at Ladybug and Reine Nuit, who use their yo-yo and staff to deflect them. But they can’t win like this; they’re on the defensive, and they can’t stay like this forever. All it’ll take is one arrow to slip through their guard.

It happens almost in slow motion. Just as Dark Cupid fires another arrow, Ladybug slips and loses her footing, throwing her yo-yo at a chimney to stop herself from falling off the roof. But this lets the arrow strike her directly in the centre of her back.

“Ladybug!” Reine Nuit dodges another arrow and throws herself down next to Ladybug, whose entire body is tense and trembling. “Are you okay?”

“Reine Nuit,” Ladybug gasps. She looks up, her lips now jet-black, and all the tension melts out of her body. “I hate you!”

“Hey, snap out of it!” Reine Nuit tries to shake her partner’s shoulders, but Ladybug slaps her across the face and then straddles her to keep her pinned. Reine Nuit struggles to stop her body from tingling and flushing. Okay, so she’s had fantasies of being pinned by Ladybug, but not like this.

“You’re the worst partner I could’ve asked for, ditzy kitty!” Ladybug snarls. “What good are you? What, you can pop a Cataclysm or two? I could’ve gotten by perfectly well without your little power!” She smirks. “But you can’t do a thing without my powers, can you? You’re useless!”

Sorry about this, Reine Nuit thinks. She forces her baton under Ladybug’s stomach, then extends it to send Ladybug flying along the rooftop. Before the brainwashed hero can recover, Reine Nuit leaps off the roof and takes off down the street, ducking for cover to try and throw Ladybug and Dark Cupid off her trail if they follow her. It’s not until she’s a few blocks away that she finally allows herself to sag against a brick wall, panting and trying to resist the urge to thump the back of her head on the wall repeatedly.

Great. Ladybug’s gone. And she’s the only one who can purify the akuma. What is Reine Nuit going to do? Ladybug had been right when she’d said that Reine Nuit is useless without her.

Snap out of it! Reine Nuit shakes her head. Save Ladybug now, mope later. She’s a hero. So, she has to act like one.

[raendown]

Second entry for the @naruto-rarepair-bingo. Today’s prompt:  different village of origin/village swap/clan swap

Pairing: TobiramaKagami Word count: 3577 Rated: T+ Summary: In which Tobirama is a Hatake, Kagami is a Hyuga, and Tobirama never believes the rumors that always turn out to be true.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info in the header!

Beginnings Are What We Make Of Them

As a Hatake, Tobirama had never really been able to understand the sheer intensity of whatever strange hatred existed between the Senju and Uchiha. His brother had a friend in the Uchiha clan, the hot-tempered Head Madara who Tobirama had never been especially fond of, but no matter how many times they brought up the topic Madara had never been able to explain it in a way that made sense. As far as he could understand the two clans hated each other simply because they did.

It was therefore an incredible shock to learn that they had somehow managed to broker peace and planned to build a village together, of all things. Tobirama had seen a lot of crazy things in his career as a shinobi but this news broke in to his top three list right from the start. All things considered he hadn’t expected the concept to actually become a reality no matter how nice it sounded. Right up until the day he had to pick up the bags Hashirama had packed for him – because he hadn’t seen the point in doing it himself – and actually move in to this fairy tale of a village with the rest of his clan, Tobirama believed the whole thing would fall apart up until he stepped through the massive gates Hashirama had offered to build as a gesture of good will.

With his two feline companions at his side Tobirama wandered the freshly laid streets and marveled that dreams really do come true. Not his own, of course, because his dreams usually involved Hashirama coming down with a very specific case of amnesia and forgetting how to hug for weeks at a time, but someone’s dreams at least. The village layout wasn’t exactly up to the standard he would have come up with himself and there were some fairly important pieces of the puzzle missing that made him wonder if there would be a suggestion box somewhere he could add his two cents in to but overall his first impression was that the place wasn’t all that bad. He hadn’t really expected any of this to work out and yet now that he was here he had to admit he could envision this as everyday life.

It helped a great deal that they had been promised indoor plumbing.

Rounding a corner, following his nose towards the scent of something absolutely heavenly, he was crossing through an alley when he first met Kagami. With their territories so far apart he hadn’t met very many Hyuga in his life but he supposed the man before him was probably a typical example of his clan. Black hair falling in shaggy curls around his face, large eyes a pale lavender color and lacking any sort of pupil, either young enough or just good enough not to have any visible scars, he certainly was a handsome sight to behold. It was still the blueberry tart in his hands that held most of Tobirama’s attention.

“Where did you get that?” he demanded. He saw little point in going through the necessary social politeness rituals when that would only waste precious time he could be using to find his own blueberry heaven. It wasn’t as though they were very likely to see each other again with this many people from so many different clans running around.

“Uh…bakery down the street? Down here on the eastern side.” Those massive pale eyes blinked at him, possibly wondering if he planned on attacking someone over an admittedly delicious looking tart. Tobirama nodded gratefully and left without saying anything else.

He didn’t think very much about the other man once they lost sight of each other. Sure he was especially good looking for a Hyuga – by Tobirama’s tastes anyway – but he was far from the only attractive face in the hordes of new people teeming through the bustling village and their encounter had hardly been noteworthy in any way. As soon as he’d found the little bakery and satisfied his belly with two blueberry tarts Tobirama had already all but forgotten the man who led him there in the first place.

It wasn’t until nearly a month later that Hashirama’s connection with that blasted Uchiha led to his name being thrown about for certain administrative duties and Tobirama found himself reporting to the great garish tower in the center of town to be interviewed for a position he didn’t even really want. Living here was one thing. No one had ever said anything about making him work for anyone that didn’t bear the same clan name as him. Until Hashirama had ousted him from his lab he’d been perfectly happy continuing on with the same duties he had always fulfilled for the Hatake, playing nice with their new neighbors now that they were here but otherwise keeping to himself for the most part.

After two hours of idiotic questions Tobirama lost his temper and told the man interviewing him that this whole stupid village would burn down around their ears if he was the one running it because his questions left much to be desired. He thought he might get in trouble for it, was actually kind of looking forward to the excitement after such a boring start to his day, but instead after a handful of whirlwind conversations he somehow found himself being assigned a seat on the village high council, far and away the youngest member.

He even had his own office, which was sort of nice. But the most interesting part was the young man they introduced as his new assistant.

“Blueberry tarts!” the man said in place of a greeting. Tobirama eyed the floppy curls on his head and smiled.

“Well. This seems like a good time to apologize for my boorish behavior that day. I was hungry, although I realize that’s not much of an excuse. My brother tells me I get….snippy…when I haven’t eaten.”

“Hangry,” the young man nodded solemnly. Tobirama rolled his eyes.

“Yes, my brother uses the same ridiculous term. I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch your name?”

An enthusiastic hand thrust forward for him to shake. “Hyuga Kagami! I’m to be your assistant, or so they tell me. I’ll just apologize now for all the disasters and save us both the time. Between you and me I’m probably going to make a terrible assistant – but I promise to try hard anyway!”

“Then why, pray tell, were you assigned as one?” Tobirama asked. He noted distantly that the smile Kagami gave him while rubbing awkwardly at one ear was pretty cute.

“Probably because I get really distracted a lot and I like to set things on fire so the elders usually try to make sure I’m bogged down with duties that keep me in a place where I can be watched. I swear I don’t mean for things to catch fire! I just…the flames are pretty.”

Tobirama gave the man a long hard look before finally declaring, “You should have been an Uchiha.”

“Well there’s some disparity about who my dad really is so…” Kagami gave an easy chuckle and shrugged his apparent pyromania off like nothing more than a simple bad habit. Which, to be fair, when compared to the bad habits of other shinobi Tobirama had met in his life, it kind of was.

“I think we’ll do just fine together,” Tobirama decided.

“Awesome! Yes! Oh man, I’m so glad you didn’t refuse to work with me because then they would have found someone else for me to work with and I’m pretty sure my elders were going to try and set me up with one of the Yamanaka next.” A shudder passed through his new assistant. “Just the thought of someone getting in to my head like they do freaks me out. Ugh.”

Since Tobirama sort of agreed with that he couldn’t really justify reprimanding the other man for saying it, although he did murmur a quick reminder about being careful not to say such things in other company.

Getting used to each other took some time. Tobirama wasn’t the most trusting of people, having learned the tenants of the shinobi life perhaps a little too well, but Kagami’s naturally open personality wore him down bit by bit and in just a few weeks he found himself learning to rely on the man for small things that gradually increased to semi-important things. It was nice. Tobirama was hard pressed to remember the last time he’d made any friends outside of his own clan, although a lot of that could be attributed to how put off most people were by the two massive leopards that followed him everywhere.

Unlike most people Kagami seemed delighted by them and before long he had taken to spoiling them whenever Tobirama’s back was turned, often showing up to work with raw meat sealed in his pocket to be doled out as treats under one of their desks. Also unlike most people he managed to restrain himself from asking about the nature of their bond until they had all known each other for several months already.

“Why cats?” was his typically tactless way of bringing up the subject. “All the rest of the Hatake have contracts with dogs or even the wolf packs. And from what I can tell most of them just sign the summoning contract and then call on their companions when they need those skills like everyone else who has a summons. Why do you always have to be so different?”

“First of all fuck you.” Tobirama narrowed his eyes across the room playfully. “I’m not different, I’m the upgraded model they all wish they could be. Second of all I like cats. End of story.”

“Oh come on! There has to be more to it than that!” Kagami laughed but Tobirama only shrugged.

“Nothing momentous. When I was young there was one very brave cat that refused to show fear to the dogs in our clan and she often came to sleep under my front porch. I liked her. So when it came time for me to find a summoning contract of my own I found a family of cats instead of dogs.” With a rueful twist of his mouth Tobirama eyed the couch on the far side of the office, home to two massive spotted leopards. “I may have underestimated how tightly our contract bound us together when I signed it, though. Now they won’t leave.”

One of the cats lifted her head to blink two golden eyes in his direction. “You would have us no other way,” she purred. Then she lay her head back down, presumably fast asleep a moment later.

Kagami was polite enough to snicker rather than laugh outright as Tobirama cleared his throat and stood from his desk to pretend he was looking for something important in the file cabinets in the opposite side               of the room, hiding the mild embarrassment on his face. Only when he was certain the pink was gone from his cheeks and he could turn his lips down in a stern expression once more did he turn back around.

“At least you got to choose your own binding,” Kagami pointed out.

“Did you not choose you own summoning contract?” Tobirama asked. His assistant blinked and then waved the question away with a laugh.

“No, no, I meant- well, we’re both bound but at least you got to choose when and to who and, well, yours probably doesn’t come with the threat of having your brain boiled inside you own skull.” He was laughing. Kagami was laughing now despite there being nothing funny about that statement.

Tobirama stared at the man in horror. “I’m sorry, what was that bit about the boiling of brains?”

“You don’t know about the seal?”

Then Kagami was lifting the fringe of his curly hair to reveal a simple design in green ink tattooed in the center of his forehead. While it certainly did explain the low chakra buzz Tobirama could feel from his assistant at all times it did not explain why it was there. He’d certainly heard a few rumors about the Hyuga clan and some kind of clan-wide slavery seal but he’d thought obviously those were just that: rumors. In no world would he believe a clan as old and venerated as the Hyuga to be capable of such horrific treatment of themselves.

Eyes riveted to the vague ‘x’ shape in the center of the sea, Tobirama stepped closer for a better look and asked with trepidation, “What is that and what does it do?” Questions he could answer himself with a bit of study but he was hardly about to shove the man’s head down on his work table for three hours of observation.

“It’s called the Caged Bird Curse Seal and it’s given to all branch family members when we reach twelve years old. Mostly as a safety precaution so that if we fall in battle our Byakugan can’t be harvested.”

“Mostly,” Tobirama repeated slowly. “What is its secondary purpose?”

“Ah, I’m not really supposed to talk about it without permission. It’s kind of a clan secret.” Kagami shifted uncomfortably, checking the windows and door like he was afraid they might have been overheard. He jumped a little when Tobirama stepped closer again.

“Do you trust me?”

Gnawing at his lip, Kagami nodded. “That’s unfair, Tobirama.”

“If it gets me answers then I don’t care. You know very well that I will not sell your secrets. Please. If you don’t tell me what the does then I’m sure my imagination will come up with a hundred things worse than reality. All I have in my head right now are rumors I can’t put any stock in.” Tobirama wrinkled his nose at the thought. He always had hated not having all the possible details about a situation he was walking in to. No one had told him that getting attached to a Hyuga would be any sort of ‘situation’.

But attached he was. Kagami was interesting and fun, understated intelligence hidden quite cleverly underneath a propensity for fire and a love of pranks. Over the months they had gotten to know each other Tobirama had spent more time trying not to think about the man at night than he had sleeping and, embarrassingly, his thoughts were usually more on the innocently romantic side.  

Of all the outcomes to be found in joining this village, falling in love had not been one he foresaw.

Now here was Kagami shuffling his feet and rubbing nervously at the back of his neck in a manner Tobirama had learned meant he was worried about the reaction his news would get. Thankfully for Tobirama’s nerves he spoke up quickly.

“Ah, well, the other point of the seal is to keep the branch members of the clan in line, I guess is the most basic way I can put it. Only the members of the head family know how to activate the seal but when they do it causes extreme pain.” Kagami reached up to brush against his forehead unconsciously with a haunted expression. “It is not…a pleasant experience. Prolonged activation of the seal can cause irreparable damage to the brain or even…or even death.”

“That is quite possibly the most horrific thing I have ever heard,” Tobirama whispered.

Yet Kagami only shrugged and mumbled, “It’s not so bad.”

“Not so bad? Not so bad!? Kagami”- Tobirama lurched forward without thought to take the man’s face between both hands and look deep in the pale eyes he had grown to love-“you just told me that at any moment one of the main branch members could take you away from me. Us. Obviously I meant us as- as a whole. The village.”

He cleared his throat awkwardly and dropped his hands, stepping away once he realized exactly how close he had brought them. It startled him in to freezing in place when Kagami stepped forward to keep the distance between them closed. When he felt fingers closing around his own he looked in to his companion’s earnest expression and thought dimly that his palms were probably clammy with nerves. He hoped that wasn’t too off-putting.

“Don’t freak out, okay? I meant it! It’s really not that bad!” Kagami tilted his chin to smile up at Tobirama through his eyelashes and the effect was devastating.

“How can you say that?” Tobirama asked quietly. Confusion touched him when, before answering, his companion began to gnaw on his lip again and those pale lavender eyes of his darted nearly everywhere else in the room before meeting his gaze once more.

“It doesn’t matter to me what seal I wear. This has been a part of me since I was a child and I made my peace with it a long time ago but that’s not the point. Wherever I go and whoever thinks they have me bound in any way…I always feel free when I’m with you.”

“Oh.”

Such an inadequate response yet for perhaps the first time in his life Tobirama found himself truly without words. All that existed in his mind at that moment was a powerful and contradictory cocktail of triumph and anger, both primal and furious emotions ready to boil over at any moment, each of them vying for dominance until he couldn’t decide how to react or what to do. So he stood quiet and still while Kagami stared back at him with an oddly understanding smile.

It took a shameful amount of time for the truth to settle in to past the cacophony inside his own head. Between one moment and the next Tobirama shook off the stupor and, in a sudden burst of movement, drew Kagami in to his chest to tuck the small man underneath his chin.

“There you go,” a warm voice teased from somewhere near his clavicle. “Took you long enough to get it.”

“I think I can be forgiven a few moments of shock. Neither of us have given the other any hint of romantic advances until now; there was no reason for me to imagine that you might return my interest.”

“Yeah well you should try reading your own face some time. It’s impossible! How was I supposed to know whether or not it was safe to flirt when I could barely get it out of you whether you’d ever dated before at all?” Kagami huffed with great insult, entirely offset by the way he squirmed a little closer.

Before Tobirama could say anything in response he was interrupted by a rumbling purr from much closer than expected. He looked down at their feet to find both of his feline partners up off the couch and sitting behind Kagami, butting their heads against his hip affectionately in a silent declaration that they approved of his choice. One of them met his eye and he offered her a nod in thanks but her response was only to purr a little louder so he turned his attention to pushing the curls back from Kagami’s forehead and bending down to press a kiss against the seal.

“First,” he murmured, “I am going to bring up a few of the ‘rumors’ I have heard about this issue to the council and see what your representatives have to say for themselves. And then I am going to spend whatever effort it takes to force your elders to realize how utterly inhumanely stupid this practice is. I will not stand for it.”

“Would you be this grumpy about it all if you it was anyone but me wearing the seal?” Kagami asked him. Tobirama lifted one eyebrow to grant the man a flat look.

“You know me well enough to know the answer to that.”

“Right, sorry.”

“You should be.”

A heartbeat passed and then suddenly Kagami was smiling up at his brilliantly. “So are you going to kiss me now or what?”

“Oh have you absolutely no sense of romance at all?” Tobirama griped.

Still, he did kiss the man though. The urge had been buried in him since mere weeks after they met so it was no hardship to finally give in and press their lips together with a breathy sigh of satisfaction. Of course, the mood was a little undercut by the raucous purring from around their waists but he’d learned to work around that sound years ago. Hopefully Kagami could learn to do the same.

He had every intention of keeping his word to follow up on this issue, to make sure the rest of the village understood the truth of the injustices to be found in the Hyuga power imbalance, and to one day see Kagami and the others of his clan free from the wretched seal ‘keeping them in line’.

But that was for later, tasks to be tackled on another day. Right now it was getting late in the evening and they should both be leaving the office soon. With the way things were going he thought it was reasonable to hope they might leave together and continue this conversation over an intimate dinner. Curse seals aside, Tobirama had other plans for the man in his arms. He was a Hatake, after all, and he enjoyed a good hunt as much as the rest of his people.

What excellent luck that his prey seemed all too willing to be caught.

[polyrolemodels]

Poly Role Models: Janet Bruesselbach

PolyRoleModels: Well Welcome to PolyRoleModels. Would you like to introduce yourself?

Janet Bruesselbach: Hi I’m Janet. I live in New York. I’m a 33 year old bisexual artist.

PolyRoleModels: Awesome! Uh So how long have you been polyamorous or how long you've been in practicing polyamory?

Janet Bruesselbach: I would say that I've been instinctively polyamory my entire- polyamorous my entire adult life but- but practicing actively since I was 21.

PolyRoleModels: Okay.

Janet Bruesselbach: And that was still not even all that like, well-organized. But when I hit 23 then it was sort of like “Okay you're single and now you can start to structure things the way it you want.”

PolyRoleModels: Yeah. I mean very few of us actually have it together at age 21. So yeah.

Janet Bruesselbach: Yeah but it was- definitely something I knew that I- like I was not capable of exclusive relationships. I’ve always known that.

PolyRoleModels: Fair.

Janet Bruesselbach: It just took me a while to recognize that a default existed you know? I had to like deal with a default.

PolyRoleModels: Yes I understand that.

Janet Bruesselbach: Yeah.

PolyRoleModels: So what does your relationship dynamic look?

Janet Bruesselbach: I have at the moment one primary. And have been somewhat lazy about dating for the past few years. It's been more like maybe just the motivation isn't there. Maybe I'm just getting older, right? But I have a few other partners. Some are romantic. Some are sexual. One is like long-distance romantic. Another is like primarily sexual and they all kind of have different dynamics. And I sometimes like my husband and I'd like date the same people, which is kind of exciting when it happens. But uhm it hasn't it hasn't gone as far in like multiple dynamics as- as it could.

PolyRoleModels: Fair enough. Well what aspect of polyamory do you feel you excel at?

Janet Bruesselbach: Probably communication and lowering drama as much as possible.

PolyRoleModels: Okay what aspect do you feel you struggle with?

Janet Bruesselbach: Uhm? I don't know I should have looked at other people's responses to this, because then I would have been like “Oh yeah obviously that.”

PolyRoleModels: Fair enough.

Janet Bruesselbach: Maybe maybe setting boundaries.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah?

Janet Bruesselbach: Yeah I tend to not be great at sort of like defining how things are and- and so it's become something I'm just more conscious of. I'm also- there's just sometimes I’m more dismissive of people's feelings.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah.

Janet Bruesselbach: Than I should be. So that's yeah. I would also say that a positive thing that I like doing is this sort of matchmaking thing. And it's something that I realized that that I did, so it's like this feeling I get first was like if I'm- if I like somebody a lot, I start to think of all the other people that they would like.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah.

Janet Bruesselbach: So it's like I'm projecting other people's desires and like try to like yeah, trying to expand the network in a way

PolyRoleModels: Well like how do you how do you address that- that and the boundaries? Like how do you feel like you overcome that?

Janet Bruesselbach: I tend to just put the brakes on myself a lot so that uh… And I- again I’m not- I don't have as many examples because I didn't sort of stay. I stay back when I'm not sure what to do, right.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah.

Janet Bruesselbach: Yeah.

PolyRoleModels: In terms of risk aware or safe for sex how do you and your partners protect one another?

Janet Bruesselbach: So the primary and I are fluid bonded. So we don't really use anything with each other anymore.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah.

Janet Bruesselbach: Everyone else I with will sort of check in about what we've been- how often we've been tested and will always use like a condom or a- or a latex boundary. Gloves, etc.

PolyRoleModels: What is the worst mistake you've made in your polyamorous history and how did you rebound from that?

Janet Bruesselbach: So that was the sort of like uh 21 to 23 difference.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah.

Janet Bruesselbach: That was when I got into this like obsessive relationship with my boyfriend's friend. And this was like during a road trip so that we were all like sharing a car while it was happening. And so like after that, I realized that I was like emotionally involved with both of them and I like- I didn't want to have to choose, so we were just like okay this is our relationship but. The friend was not- was like very mono. And so I like let him kind of like push me into making decisions that I didn't feel like I needed to make. And like once we opened that relationship, like my boyfriend went and like dated around a little bit, and I was like a “Yay, great!” But like the whole thing was still just because I was like obsessed with this other guy so eventually… [inaudible] Like that friend and- and I both brok up with who we were with at the time in our like traditional hetero relationship stance. And then like tried to date long-distance and it didn't work, and part of why it didn't work was that I like still felt like I was being limited. And like what I needed was more experience at that point.

PolyRoleModels: I get that. I get that. And so what was like the take away? I had to rebound

Janet Bruesselbach: That I needed to be very clear early on that I was not going to be exclusive. That I- the levels of emotional attachment and like the boundaries that people wanted to set with me would be negotiated verbally from then on. It was also an element of like knowing that I couldn't necessarily be totally honest with everybody. Like communicating what I needed to communicate.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah.

Janet Bruesselbach: Because the long-term partner that I'd been with- what part of like the strength of our relationship was that we were always, always honest.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah.

Janet Bruesselbach: Like two a fault and so that strained from like the relationship with this friend. Like that was the thing where it was like I should not tell him everything that goes on in this other relationship. Because it's- it hurts both of them. But now- now that like- now that I sort of establish things better with my partners, like I have a lot of fun talking about intimate details. Or just like the relevant ones you know the ones that will turn people on.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah fair. So what self-identities are important to you and how do you feel like being polyamorous intersects with or affects those identities?

Janet Bruesselbach: I'm not even sure if I call myself bi or pan at this point but that's- that's pretty important to me. Like definitely- like I have a lot more romantic feeling for women than I do for men but I tend to interact more sexually with men or just better sexually with men so there's- there's like this weird sort of structure to it.

PolyRoleModels: Right.

Janet Bruesselbach: There's like it's- it's not- it's not like I'm attracted to every person in the same way. I would say there aren't a lot of other like notable identities. Like I hate that- like I don't like that whiteness can be an identity but it’s kind of there. Because like a lot of my relationships are interracial and so like it comes up. It comes up a lot.

PolyRoleModels: Makes sense.

Janet Bruesselbach: I don't know. I'm Jewish, but I was raised atheist and my mom was very, very honest with me about like her sexual openness of her practices because she was engaged in BDSM, and my dad wasn't into it, so they had this arrangement.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah.

Janet Bruesselbach: Yeah, so like I didn't grow up in a way where like things that I realize were normal were actually normal.

PolyRoleModels: Understood. Do you have any groups, projects, websites, blogs, etc., that you're involved with that you'd like to promote?

Janet Bruesselbach: Well, the last big project that I'm the most proud of is Daughters of Mercury; that was a few years to go and I’ve sort of like closed it because I made so many paintings and then like kind of sent them out to everybody. And also because like I wanted to limit how like as a cis-woman, I was using trans women. Like I’m very like- like that is such a like strong community that I feel like I've been privileged to watch, and to like be involved with. And so yeah like that's it's a- it's a series of life-sized, full-length portraits of trans women, or like trans femme. Like some are non-binary. And like most of them are some of them are partners or were partners, and some of them were just people that I like really admire and like. All of them, I just like loved them and thought they were beautiful, and wanted to give them money and attention, and like share their work. Um so, and at the same time I was trying to get like a nice sort of like diversity of personalities in that.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah I definitely understand that with my own work that being the same way.

Janet Bruesselbach: Yeah, my more recent portraits of just I've just sort of been like doing smaller ones, but it's a bit more- it's sort of intersectionally interesting because the point of it is to try and paint people who would never think to commission a portrait, but who like I see just being like beautiful people every day. And so like many of them were struggling with like mental or physical disabilities. Many are in marginalized populations. There's a lot of like interestingly gendered people. So like well it's really just like my friend network right, but it's also like you know people who are- who are having to struggle in America today.

PolyRoleModels: Yeah I think I understand. I think I understand. Alright well thank you so much for taking the time and being a part of PolyRoleModels.

Janet Bruesselbach: Thank you Kevin. You’re doing- you’re doing wonderful work. And I apologize, I’m a little bit boring, but um…

PolyRoleModels: I don’t think you are.

Janet Bruesselbach: Now you know you're inspiring need to like be more active in this community so…

PolyRoleModels: Awesome. I'm always that when- anytime any of my work impacts anybody else's work so thank you for saying that.

Janet Bruesselbach: Thank you.

PolyRoleModels: Have a good night.

Janet Bruesselbach: Yeah you too.

—

Support Inclusive Polyamorous Representation at  https://www.patreon.com/PolyRoleModels

[asktheraggededges]

A question for Boone and Raege, what was your first meeting like? Is there a story behind it?

It was only about six months after the founding of the unit. We had maybe..80..85 troops and were still hopping from ship to ship. We’d been stuck on Menathot for five days before Levy picked us up in one of his own ships. I’m in the docking bay, making sure everyone’s present and accounted for when the inquisitor taps me on the shoulder  (the far one, making me turn in the wrong direction, naturally) before coyly letting me know he has another gift for me. I’m already tired at this point and I get the usual sinking feeling. A gift from Levy usually means he needs extra leverage because he’s about to ask for favours on top of favours.

On top of that the gift is a psyker, apparently. We all know how much I love those.

Sure enough, he casually mentions en route to his office there’s been a farmer uprising on Riatex Phelta. Awesome. So we enter his office. And there is..one the smallest people I’ve ever seen bent over looking at his amasec collection.

It..it had been so long since I’d been in a place that nice. It had central heating, and enough light to see properly. No one was chanting around me or pushing me toward something. I didn’t have a headache. I was even starting to get used to the new linen clothes I had. I was looking over old vintages that the Inquisitor had. I knew I had drunk some of them. I know I knew the taste. But I could not remember it. It seemed like so long ago. I was lost in thought.

Now, in my experience, psykers always do that creepy thing where they either start talking before you enter the room or are already staring at you, ready, when you enter. A psyker who not only can’t feel someones presence but fails to hear MY footsteps does not fill me with confidence.

The Inquisitor addresses me and I whip around with a start, self consciously adjusting my robe. Next to him is, according to what I have been taught, a Commissar. The person whose job it is to kill me if I demonstrate odd behaviour or hear the wrong voices. She’s over a foot taller than me, or seems to be. Shiny, black hair down to the middle of her back. Broad shouldered. Sapphire coloured eyes that are looking straight through me. There is so much intensity in her. So much ferocity. But no hatred. Not for me. Not that I can feel. She regards me for what seems like forever, but what I’m sure is just a few seconds. I try to introduce myself.

She walks up and does this weird gesture where she sort of bows and lifts the hem of her skirt a little. Her voice sounds exactly like I’d expect. She starts talking about her dad or something so I cut her off. Make sure to set the precedent early that this is military unit not a ball or a soiree or whatever these people do.

“Ease up, Kiddo.”

I was so surprised. I had been doted over for one half of my life and then treat as less than human for the other up to this point. And for a commissar - almost certainly the person who was going to end my life someday to talk to me so casually. To call me ‘kiddo’. It meant a lot to me. I was off guard but it felt nice. She made me feel normal.

Levy excuses her from his office and he immediately starts trying to placate me. Tells me that ‘well, yeah, y'know she’s not going to be flipping over enemy tanks or blasting people with lightning or anything but…’ .

 In a rare moment of honesty he tells me that she’s the daughter of an old friend of his that he promised -at some commission, I imagine- he would keep safe.

So I’m getting a psyker and not even a useful one. I’m being sentenced to decades of bodyguard duty. A commissar babysitting a psyker. Like I don’t feel like a punchline already.

The inquisitor talks some chaff about this tiny woman maybe being my commissarial aide and how I need one of those since I’m a real commissar again, commissar - he leaves his own office giving me the finger pistols, utterly convinced that he’s still doing me a favour.

It’s getting close to lights out. I’m laying in my bunk. I can feel every side of it, but it has a blanket and pillow of sorts so it feels amazing. I could almost fall asleep right then. As I’m between states though, I feel this…not a voice just like a feeling, like remembering to do something you were never told to do in the first place.  It wakes me up with a start. Recaff. I need to make a pot of recaff and take it up to deck 3 , room 304. So I do. I’m wide awake now anyway.

I’m in my temporary office, attempting to psyche myself up for a long night of paperwork. It occurs to me I’m probably going to need some recaff so I get up to get some from the cafeterium. As I open the door to my room, though, there’s this tiny psyker again. She makes a noise I can only describe as a ‘meep’ and stammeringly tells me she thought I might want some recaff. That’s a little more in keeping with my experience of psykers and she’s saved me the trip so I invite her to sit down. Maybe have some herself. Maybe she can impress me , yet.

I was already impressed by her - on some base level. The way she carried herself, the clarity and certainty of her voice.  This sort of..constant intensity.

[subject averts gaze and swallows]

When I first saw her..without the cap and coat? With her hair down? I was kinda taking her in, I admit it. These long, runners legs beneath her skirt, the way her white shirt pulled taut around her biceps when she bent her arm, this..mane of hair like a pack of ravens behind her. She’s taken the pot out of my hand and is back seated behind her desk before I know what’s going on. She’s poured her own recaff and put down a second cup for me. I feel like I dropped the ball again. I’m meant to be her aide and she’s doing things for me.

I want to brush that hair. 

Before I realise it - I’ve asked if I can.

Even back then the length was hassle. That’s two time’s she’s kinda predicted my needs. I’m almost thinking this could work out. But once she starts brushing she stops talking. So I’m trying to do paperwork with someone brushing my hair in complete silence, save for the occasional sniffle. It’s awkward. I suck at small talk. I ask her about her home planet.

I’ve been keeping it together. All this time. Nobody has thought to ask about my home. My family. I haven’t had to talk about it. She’s..she’s the first person to ask. 

I think about home. I think about poppa. I think about this amazing woman I’ve just met and how I’ll never in my life be able to live a normal life with her. I am an abhorrent. I am a risk. She is the emperors will made manifest. It is her job to routinely execute people like me. I will never be on her level. We will never even be friends. The dam bursts.

Apparently that was the worlds worst question to ask. She goes from little sniffing sounds to sobbing to out and out crying. Shaking and inconsolable. She almost can’t stand. I fumble with trying to calm her down but its worthless.

I’m worthless. I feel like I’m messing up so badly. It’s my first day as part of the imperial guard and I’m crying like a baby in front of my new boss. The more I try to calm down - the more she tries to calm me down the more of a failure I feel. If she wasn’t disappointed in me already, she certainly is now.

I walk her back to her quarters. I let her lean on me.

Every inch of her is ready. She doesn’t relax. He grip is strong. Her stomach is hard.

I close the door on her quarters. She’s back to just sniffling.

 It occurs to me, I’m not sure I’ve seen anyone cry. I know of crying.  I am sure, perhaps when I was very young that I cried also. My whole life I’ve been involved in the armed forces. My father was an adviser. My uncle was a general.

 I had always been training or fighting or killing or teaching others to kill. I’d never met a civilian. I’d never met someone who had experienced a life outside of war.

This girl was weak, she was emotional, she was human.

She was everything I wish I was.

She was everything I’m not.