#so in this au—where he’s op as fuck—that’s exactly what he does

[padfootastic]

oh my god may your anon(s) never stop giving us this goodness.

voldy - i wanna kill the potters (expecting a cheer cause he thinks they share his one brain cell)

death eaters: which tbh 99% consist of people who used to be with sirius at summer tea parties- and have seen first hand what kind of magic he can do and seen at Hogwarts just how much of potters sirius has devoted himself too. uhh Mr voldy don't take this the wrong way, you scare us sure but he scares us more. like have you seen how blacks are?

and how sirius black is ?

and you want us to target potters.

we may wear your mark or whatever but sirius will freaking dangle us and play with us like marionettes

I'm pretty sure 90% the reason no one from dark side told anyone that sirius is innocent cause they would definitely know. mr look at me I'm immortal could never shut up about that. was cause in canon they knew as soon sirius is out he would kill them for targetting potters and succeeding. wasn't that the reason peter was like mhhmm no imma be rat as well?

like also imagine if regulus , narcissa and slightly sane bella were there and canon was just a handbook of rules meant to be looked - hey sirius we're getting bored of this evil overlord manogamic thinking he's the greatest. also uhh, he decided to go after potters.

sirus, with eyes twitching- potters you say? suddenly i have 38494849 basilik fangs and a few teen age diaries and necklaces to rip apart.

like it's tbh frustrating at times with how jkr indicated at power and then cowardly backed away from it (it's like she hated her own characters or something). like sirius black free of shakles of canon should be easily able to kill voldy and and meet harry for midnight ride at the motorbike.

he has everything.

resources. motivation. information. skill. and the determination to see it through.

ahahaha don’t worry, our anon has endless creativity (in fact, it’s me who can’t keep up w them bc i just have. so many asks in my inbox rn 💀) and i’m literally just waiting for them to drop the fic.

also just. i’ve mentioned this before but i’m so sure that in an AU, it’s voldy’s ignorance of exactly how deadly the black family (esp sirius) is so that leads to him being outed as a non pureblood bc u just. don’t do that ykno?

voldy: so the potters—

sirius, immediately getting a twitch in his eye and bloodlust in the back of his throat: something’s wrong.

and that’s really just that.

(also god yes don’t even get me started on the sheer number of plot points and tools jkr introduced only to fully forget about or ignore it later. sirius is literally one of THE most powerful characters we were given and he’s just. so fucking defanged. i think pigwidgeon was utilised better than s was)

[anikasheep]

OM Brothers in Replaced MC AU

Afab mc, chubby mc, ooc brothers and don't argue with me. No beta read and English is not my first language

Leviathan: It's all Mammon's fault.

Mammon: What the...? How could this is my fault?! I'm not the one read the story of some stranger post on Internet. So it's totally your fault, Levi!

Asmo: Could you two stop fighting pleeease?

Satan: I agree, it's no time to blame, my power is weakening, so does my wrath.

Belphie: Yeah, I don't feel drowsy as usual, I wonder why. How are you feeling, Beel?

Beel: I'm hungry, but the hunger is less than before.

Mammon: Just what story we're stucked, huh? Yo, Levi, spill all the beans.

Levi: It's a fanfiction that someone wrote about the seven lords abandoned Henry for another human. Yet it's also a demon au so the writer use ours name as the seven lords' casual name. In the fanfic, we met another human exchange student and we were fond of them. And then we forget Henry, we started to dislike him and we even abuse him with verbally or physically. Henry was so sad and heartbroken that he decided to leave the Devildom forever. The seven lords finally realized their mistakes but Henry was dead when they rush to human world.

Mammon:... Okay, totally don't know what the fuck are you talking about.

Lucifer: So what's our roles? The seven lords?

Satan: I don't think so, cause there's no reason our powers weakening if we are the seven lords.

Levi: But I don't remember there's any other characters. So I guess we're kind of break the rules in this world? Like we're the OP or the bug in this world? Just like the anime......

Belphie: Shut up, Levi.

Satan: I read this fanfic before, too. And I agree with Levi. Still, I am curious about this place where we are. The starter always hide something important to know the world and the whole event after all.

Levi:Umm...I believe this place is where Henry lives shortly after the brothers cast him out. But I can't remember its name.

Asmo: This house have a name? Just like the House of Lamentation?

Levi: Exactly!...And I think the short name of this house also is HOL! Ugh, just why can't I remember its name!!

Lucifer: Levi, if what you and Satan said is true, then I think it's natural that you can't recall this house's name. Cross his arms.

Levi: Eh?

Satan: Nods Well, It's normally if the name of this house is one of the important clue in this story, so you could only remember that when the story near end right?

Levi: Sob Th- thank you, you two...

Belphie: I don't get much you three said, but if we the the characters that didn't exist in the original story, then what's the purpose of we were stucked in here?

Mammon:...Oi! Is that...MC?

All the brothers turn to the place where Mammon points at. There you are, sitting outside the house, alone and stareing down at your phone, you're trembling.

Asmo: Eh? Why are they sitting alone in the street? It's dangerous for a human!

Asmo is ready to walk toward you but Lucifer grabs his collar.

Asmo: Lucifer!!

Lucifer: We could keep an eye on them from here, but how could you explain to them who we are if you just ran into them?

Asmo: *pout*

Satan: Then, we could use some fake name as the casual name we use in this world.

Lucifer: You mean like in the human world, SULLY?

Satan: *grit his teeth* I swear to Diavolo, if you call me that stupid name again...

Lucifer: *smirk*

Levi: Meh, here we go again.

Mammon: They are just like cat and dog, aren't they? Still, we should think some names so we could meet MC ASAP, stop being foolish.

Lucifer/Satan: *TSK*

[lxkeee]

Good morning/evening.

*deep breaths*

IDK IF IT'S MY PRIDE BUT 👺👺👺👺👺I gets if others want a happy ending and if writter is going to make a happy ending BUT i can't I was so fucking pissed two sides of the same coin (┛ಠДಠ)┛彡┻━┻ (at reader your works are amazing darling) LIKE GET OVER HIM HE CHEATER END OF STORY- plus I want to be petty and unsympathetic.

So if you're done with the story, can I have an alternative ending? Where Lucifer REGRETS AND GROVELS SO MUCH GRIEF to the point his begging reader to give a second chance breaking his pride, BUT OFC. So like in the story reader was chosen to do something about the extermination, so she decides to take a look at this 'hazbin hotel' and meet Lucifer (let's just add feelings because unlike me who doesn't give a shit because the past is past, sorry I just have a messed up head that if someone does something like this I get them to fall back in love and wait for a couple of months then announce that I'm dating someone else-- and see them panic HAHAHAHHA-) So girlies/boys who have same mind set as me your welcome-- they have bonding time and reader assuring him, stroking his hair that everything is ok and she forgives him, so this builts up the feelings he once and still has.

So after 4months and Lucifer constantly visiting whenever reader came down to hell to inspect the hotel. Lucifer accidentally walked in to reader and azrael(is that how to spell his name?) Making out. Lucifer first thought that Azrael forced himself on reader and punched azrael's face calling him foul names. Meanwhile reader and azrael looking at each other with a Lovestruck face still not aware that they parted and the short king cursing at azrael. After reader broke from the trance she happily exclaimed out loud that she and azrael are now dating, meanwhile lucifer:🙃

So Lucifer pulled reader into his room, talking about 'what about us?', 'I thought you forgave me?!', 'are you cheating on me!?'(BOY WTF--)

And reader just stood their dumbfolded giggling inside that Lucifer thought that she forgave him and they are back together, so she explains it to him EVERY LITTLE DETAIL. But he interferes with a 'WE ARE NOT DIVORCE YOU ARE STILL MY WIFE!' pulling anything he can.

Reader didn't gave shit and walk to the door, but Lucifer didn't gave up, he broke his pride for what? To end up even more depressed? So....well he fucked reader hoping she got preggy-

GURL DON'T BLAME ME- I HATEHIM AND LOVE HIM AT THE SAME TIME, sorry if this is to much of a bother 🥲🥲

-꧁ඩා꧂anon

.... Jaw dropped... Mind blown... Speechless... Op I can really feel your emotions through this ask 😭😭😭 The emotional rollercoaster I went through while reading this was wild asf LMAO buttt I already have a specific route I wanted to go through with the story and it can't exactly follow through this idea BUT I'll probably write this as an au though, I'm not making any promises but thank you for the suggestion but I don't think I wanna put our boy even more pain lol

Also, don't worry. You're not a bother^^ I personally think this is a wonderful idea but unfortunately I don't think it would fit into the current storyline, perhaps in a future work maybe?

[rachelsshowerthoughts]

Far too sleepy to conjugate this Aware AU thought but given the kids evolving understanding of their own status as victims and the specifics of their abuse and their parents actions.

I do wonder if Chloe picked up on some of the scummier stuff indicated by Andre's actions?

Like, on one hand's she'd definitely know 'something' is off once she's keyed into the fact he does not care and just throws money at her until he wants her around for a photo op or to play pretend.

But I don't think she'd necessarily key into the fact his enabling of her lifelong Audrey imitation comes from more than negligence. Which I maintain is does cos we know he made some efforts to...

'Parent'

At least in the sense he gave her advice on school elections and would sometimes be cajoled into helping with stuff like that. None of it requiring ay emotional labor on his part of course, nor actually effective parenting, but it was something of an attempt.

Thus, given Chloe's impersonating has last for years but also subtly shifted in how its directed at Andre, that feels deliberate.

One can argue it was unconscious, but still required decisions.

Anyway point being, I am unsure she'd realize that side of things right off the bat, but instead have it as some kind of rude awakening. Like she thought she had all this on lokc and understood.

Her mom is hateful & cruel and never loved her, enjoys hurting her as much as anyone else & does not want her to succeed or outshine her.

Her father is selfish and only superficially cares, he only wants a daughter when it suits him & otherwise just wants her out of the way.

Then this realization hits, maybe just life stuff, maybe the lead in to that scene I shared with Adrien & Nino & her storming in, maybe due to an alt Maladiktator or someone else notes it?

Madame Bustier taking Andre out 'for' Chloe still rings to me as her identifying the main issue at the very least, though how much she knows or thinks is up in the air.

...

Gosh this is grim, even the most charitable read to Andre is fucked up.

Cano you believe I got her cos I realize Maladikator probably wouldn't happen as Chloe would not want Audrey to stick around?

Added note:

Cousin not required but just imagining one of the club members, maybe for fun points Lila, overhearing Bob Ross's "My talent-less son!" and just being like, "We are no longer only recruiting fourteen year old's, welcome our newest member, XY!" - "How did they get here so fast?" - "Trade secret." (Miraculous)

(May your sleep be peaceful! This will still be here if you want to respond later!)

I think Chloé would take a while to get the . . . I don’t know, depth? Of her father's fucked up-ness? Cause, like.

Ok, the way I see it - Emilie disappears. Adrien starts falling apart, and Chloé is the only one really there to pick up the pieces. In addition, let's say that summer was some kind of show or event, that meant Chloé was also dealing with both her mom and dad A LOT. So, as Adrien is having realizations about HIS dad (with grief as the catalyst), it triggers Chloé's realizations about HER parents. I imagine there's some shouting matches (maybe they want Chloé to be at some event, Chloé is refusing cause Adrien needs her, there is screaming, Chloé doesn’t go, backlash, etc,etc,) but with Audrey, the realization happens all at once.

Chloé always KNEW, on some level, that Audrey doesn’t care about her. It might have taken different forms, but this is where Chloé would realize it’s more than that. Audrey doesn’t just not like her, she straight up doesn’t LOVE her. The only care Audrey has for Chloé is as a possession. And this is a horrible thing to realize, it fucks Chloé up, but it also isn’t exactly NEW information. Chloé is AWARE her mother doesn’t like her, she just thought that, before, it was something she could change, could do something about. Now she knows that she can't do anything, so fuck it! Screw you, Mom, I'll do what I want! (I imagine Chloé hits that "manic energy, let's-fuck-shit-up!" phase of a breakdown, and then just keeps periodically ending up there. Makes a bonfire of all the shoes her mom has ever sent her - or sends them all to charity, whichever would piss her off more.)

But André would be harder, because even if he DOESN'T actually love Chloé, he's much better at acting like he does. And Chloé would have some genuine affection for him, so I think it would take longer. Maybe go through stages?

Like, at first, Chloé sees her dad as a coward. He bends to everything Audrey (or Chloé) wants, never really stands up for himself. Chloé is MAD at him, for not seeing how damaging Audrey is, for always bending to her will. She wants to spend as little time with him as possible, because he keeps trying to play "peacemaker", and Chloé is furious. Can’t he see what she's doing!? What she's ALWAYS been doing!? Why take HER side, isn’t Chloé his daughter!? Does that matter at all!? How dare he, how DARE he-!!

But, again, André is the parent who actually shows affection, and who Chloé spends most of her time with (vs Audrey, who only shows up when it suits her. I imagine André at least made token efforts to be there for Chloé, regardless of motivations). That confuses Chloé, cause she's thinking of "abuse" (not that she's calling it that) within a specific context. Audrey, Gabriel, Tomoe . . . there are differences, but on some level, all are strict control freaks, who need everything to go their way. As long as André is getting the attention he wants, he's much more flexible, so he muddled things a bit. So Chloé thinks about it, and she's spending time with Adrien, Kagami, Sabrina, and . . . ok, hear me out.

Marinette has, at some point, been brought in as Kagami's friend, and at least now is AWARE of the home lives of everyone else. And she's horrified, but she also introduces the idea that maybe André or Emilie were victims too. Cause the thing about abusive relationships, is that it’s someone conditioning you to react a certain way, to not realize something is fucked up. Most people IN abusive relationships don’t realize that the relationship they are in is abusive, cause most don’t start out that way. It’s slow, incremental changes you don’t realize are happening, until someone is looking in from the outside like "WHAT THE FUCK, how did you not NOTICE!?", but it was so slow, you didn’t notice at all, until the knife was at your throat. And Marinette is enough of an optimist (plus full of misplaced guilt) that she desperately doesn’t want BOTH parents of her friends to be abusive jackasses, so what if André and Emilie are trapped in these relationships? What if they need rescuing?

And Chloé ALSO wants that, so now she starts seeing her dad through that lens too. And I can see it leading WEIRD PLACES, cause now Chloé feels she has to PROTECT HER DAD. So, she's spending more time with him, she's trying to subtly hint about divorce, she's getting into screaming matches with Audrey, defending her dad, cause at least he was THERE when she was growing up!! Audrey, of course, sees it as a challenge, so starts getting André to take her on more dates, spend more time together, which Chloé does her level best to sabotage - can't have her dad stuck with HER! André, meanwhile, is soaking all this up. His wife and daughter, fighting for his attention? It’s really feeding his ego, to feel this important, so he starts INCITING these incidents himself. What does he care how it’s hurting anyone else, it’s proving how IMPORTANT he is, isn’t it?

I can see Chloé eventually getting Akumatized, to go after Audrey (defend, have to defend), and André trying once again to mitigate the situation - it’s all okay, dear! It just means we love each other! So, Akuma!Chloé tries to use her powers to show him Audrey DOESN'T love them, and. Well. That . . . does happen. Both André and Chloé can see, feel, that Audrey doesn't love them. But. Well, André KNOWS that. He gets that Audrey doesn’t love him, but still deems him important to her, and that’s what feeds his ego. While Audrey knows that André loves her as a status symbol, as something to boost himself, which she deems acceptable, as it allows her to control him.

But the connection works both ways, so. Chloé can feel how much Audrey doesn't love her, but aLeo how André DOESN'T actually love her. Can feel how shallow it is, how thin, how it's tied into his own ego and pride. She can feel from both of them, how there isn’t any love, any care, for Chloé herself as more than anything but a possession. And even if, on some level, she knew that, it’s different to having it CONFIRMED.

And with that connection still in place, both Audrey and André can feel Chloé's heart shatter as her love for them dies and turns to despair . . . and neither of them understand it at all.

The "fight" afterward can barely be called that. It’s Chat Noir holding Akuma!Chloé as she breaks down, while Ladybug gently breaks the item, casts the cure. When the Akuma is purified, André, of course, tries to patch things up - are you ok, dear? See, your old man is fine! - but this time, Chloé doesn’t even let him get close. She turns, walks away. Cause, those Akumatized might not remember much, but big moments? Emotional moments? They remember those, so Chloé remembers. She remembers the sensation, the feeling, of knowing her parents don’t love her. That to them, it’s all a game they want to win. Well, fine then. If they want to play that game, go ahead. Have fun. Enjoy yourselves. It clearly matters more than she does, so that’s it. She's out. Chloé isn’t playing this game anymore.

She's done.

(Chloé calls XY, asks her cousin if she can chill on his couch for a few days. XY, just freed from his dad, says sure, is everything cool?

Not even 24 hours later, XY is calling up the lawyer who helped him get out from under his dad. Does he know anyone with a background in custody battles?)

@tumblingxelian

[direwombat]

role swap au for saoirse/price? 👀

Send me a potential AU and I’ll tell you five fun facts that would happen in a story

ooooooh this is an interesting one because saoirse's backstory would have to change ever so slightly. so...

rather than her da being a journalist, he was an active (and rather militant) member of the IRA. he was still killed when saoirse was young and she still swore to follow in his footsteps tho. but this version of saoirse is much more hardened and cynical than she is in her "canon"-verse. i don't think she'd be a soldier, per se, but she'd be an operative for the irish directorate of military intelligence

i think she and price would meet at piccadilly circus no matter what, just with their roles swapped -- ie, john is the one following a lead in his reporting on al-qatala while saoirse was there because laswell (who she befriended while working on ops with the CIA) specifically asked for her help (much to the SAS's chagrin lmao)

honestly, i adore the idea of nik being a mutual friend of theirs but neither of them was aware. the thought of them both being like "i know a guy" when its time for them to track down the butcher in russia and then both of them calling nikolai is very funny to me. like. they land in russia and nik is there to pick them up, and they both go for a hug only to abort it half-way when they realize what the other is doing and just stare at each other dumbfounded.

idk under what circumstances exactly it'd happen under, but also. concept: price who has gone undercover before offering to go undercover for saoirse's sake (because as competent as she may be, she still reeks of a federal agent and any criminal worth their salt would sniff her out immediately). but the entire time he's undercover, saoirse is watching him through a sniper scope, making sure nothing goes wrong. but. of course. there's a point where she loses sight of him followed by all hell breaking loose and she has to go in and rescue him. she's fucking furious with him, but when he reveals that he got the intel they needed AND MORE, she can't help but feel a bit of pride as well. she's still pissed tho. "ye coulda fookin' died, john >:("

it's a staple of the genre but. c'mon. safehouse chats + bathroom patching up. saoirse gets shot while out in the field and john ended up being the getaway driver. she's bleeding out in the backseat and she just gives him an address and tells him to fuckin' drive. he helps her into the safehouse and she's immediately grabbing a bottle of whiskey to help numb the pain and telling price to get the first aid kit from under the bathroom sink. she fully expects him to leave her to patch herself up, but he does it for her instead, cleaning, sewing, and bandaging the wound while they have their heart-to-heart. it's one of those moments where they really see each other -- saoirse pointing out how shrewd and cunning john is underneath his charismatic exterior, and john making note of how she's got a soft heart underneath her cold and distant facade. <3

[moxielynx]

Sorry if you have already said so. But what exactly is the elemental power or elemental essence?? Of dark

How powerful is it?

How powerful is Ryan compared to the other Ninja?

How powerful is the Elemental Power of dark in general

How powerful is Ryan compared to Lloyd Garmadon and Wu?

i am so joyous that someone is asking about ryan garmadon tysm

to answer your questions i wanna state that ryan is supposed to be the polar opposite of lloyd, in terms of powers and abilities. Lloyd is light, Ryan is darkness. They're both equal in terms of powers, so Ryan is stronger than the other ninja, but not Lloyd.

Unlike Lloyd though, Ryan embraces his oni form, so he's much more willing to use it to get out of situations where just his powers arent enough.

How ive imagined his powers working is they're much stronger in dark places/at night (while lloyd is the opposite). He can control a void-like substance that can basically make him extend his limbs or even make new ones (like give himself four arms without having to become an oni). The closest thing to showing off ghosts powers is in a joke video where he just straight up grab's jay

but i think it would be better if i made some (very lazy) sketches explaining his powers

this might make ryan seem pretty unbalanced between him and the other ninja, and even lloyd, but in my au with ryan in it i like to imagine lloyd can still control the other 4 main elements (yes i know the only reason he could before was cause he was the ultimate spinjitzu master/the golden master but im unfortunately a nostalgic fan so i like holding onto stuff from older seasons <//3), they're just much weaker than his own element. for example he can control fire pretty decently but never nearly as good as kai. so it basically balances out if lloyd and ryan ever got into an actual fight: ryan's got his funky void powers and lloyd's got (albeit weaker) 4 other elements at his disposal.

ryan could also merge into the darkness and appear in a different place, but the same goes for lloyd with light (shine a light in two different areas of a room and lloyd will just disappear from one spot to another)

if it wasnt obvious im trying to make ryan and lloyd actually look like the descendants of what is essentially god lmao

ryan in terms of power is more powerful than wu, but wu could still beat him in a fight just cause he's got more experience than it, same with garmadon. the real deciding factor is "will ryan use his oni powers?"

in my au lloyd does decide to use his oni form more, but they much prefer not to. Not opposed, but would use it as a last resort, if anything.

in general? the element of darkness is as strong as the element of energy, ryan and lloyd are as yin and yang as it gets lol

ryan's pretty much inherited all of his powers from garmadon, so anything garmadon can do ryan can do as well, and this goes with the oni thing. ryan uses his oni powers often not to make things easier, but to make sure he has complete control and isnt gonna go on an evil rampage, despite knowing that simply being an oni doesn't automatically make you evil (garmadon trauma 🔥🔥🔥)

while ryan's powers are really strong, he could definitely still be beaten by one of the ninja since they all basically have matching skills, but they are basically really lucky ryan's on their side and not on the evil side.

if something i explained looks weird then feel free to send another ask about it, i probably just didnt explain it right or it can be explained with just "its part of my au lawl", ty again for asking about ryan!

oh yeah also ryan can still summon a dragon because i think its fucking stupid that the ninja get that power taken away from them cause its "too op." THAT IS SO DUMB!!!! LET THOSE DUMB NINJA SUMMON SILLY LITTLE DRAGONS!!!!!!

[gabessquishytum]

i thought about tennis au and tossed that idea through the filth filter and went in a very different direction so. another take on a tennis au for you: star tennis player dream and coach hob. maybe hob was a major competitive player as an under-18 but got injured (fucked up knee!hob my beloved) and turned to coaching instead. and maybe dream is a bit older than him, approaching the end of his professional sports career, and appreciates hob's approach to injuries and respecting one's body. dream may look younger than he is, but he can't walk off a sprain the way he way he used to, and hob won't let him try.

but. for the filth side of this. hob is dream's coach during the training season, but during tournaments? he's dream's stress relief. if dream's anxious before a match, hob will hold his hips still and give him the longest, slowest blowjob of his life until he calms down. if dream wins they'll head back to dream's hotel room, order room service, and dream will sit hob on his cock and feed him sweets as a reward for doing such a good job as dream's coach.

but if he's frustrated after a loss, well... that's when things get interesting. hob makes a point of knowing exactly where the closest room with a lockable door is, because that's the only limit he insists on for dream's post-loss catharsis (he'll let dream fuck his throat in the locker room sometimes, though. if they have to go back to the hotel to get privacy and dream really needs to take the edge off)

because once they're alone? he's dream's to do with as he will, and dream takes full advantage of that. if dream's feeling generous he might start off opening hob up with his fingers. if not, he'll cut right to the chase and start working the lubed handle of his tennis racket into hob's hole.

after a particularly bad loss -- and after he's made hob come once already by grinding the handle into hob's prostate -- he starts working fingers into hob alongside the racket. he gets up to what hob thinks must have been three or four before he pulls them out and takes the racket with them, and then rummages in his bag for a minute. the next thing that presses at hob's hole is... pretty unmistakably a tennis ball. it's covered in lube but that doesn't change the fact that it's textured and rough and big, but dream tells him quite clearly that it's the ball that lost him the match, so he may as well get some enjoyment from it.

(it's not. it's a ball that dream had prepared days ago, had carefully cut holes in so he could thread a cord through it for safe removal later, because he adores hob and also does not want to have to bring him to a hospital to get a tennis ball out of his ass, thanks very much. but, well. hob doesn't need to know that just yet, now does he?)

-🐈‍⬛

Asdfhjl I'm having THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ABOUT THIS OK partly because my favourite tennis player retired last year and im still mourning him. roger please come back, for my mental health.

Taking this in a similar-but-different direction. Maybe Hob was the junior number 1 and he was literally just about to start competing in the senior ranks and then boom, catastrophic knee injury. Dream was a few years younger and Hob was his inspiration so he's totally devastated that they're not going to have a big sexy senior rivalry :/// the solution? He hires Hob as his coach.

Hob has never coached anyone, doesn't have a clue what he's doing, doesn't know why Dream would hire him when he comes from money and could literally pay for anyone... but he's kind of out of a career so he says yes! And that's how they end up spending Dream’s entire professional career together.

Hob sits in the players box with chanel sunglasses and a iced coffee, looking like a damn supermodel while Dream sweats his way through the competition. Obviously on the inside Hob is literally shitting himself with nervousness but he only lets the emotion out when the match is over. Hob literally jumps down from the stands at one point when Dream wins the US Open (terrible for his knee, brilliant for the photographers).

As for the filth... Well, as an athlete, Dream has to be careful with his body. This means that Hob takes the brunt of the physical side of the relationship. If Dream has a good training session he gets to sit down all comfy on the bench in the locker room while Hob does his job and bounces up and down on his cock. If Dream doesn't have a good session, he gets to take his frustrations out by spanking Hob's pretty arse with his tennis racket. Dream’s physical and mental health is Hob’s top priority, and he can and will sprint to the bathroom during a break in play to give the world's quickest, sloppiest blowjob.

Dream just wishes that they would make more trophies with pointy ends. So many of them are shaped like plates! How's he supposed to use them as dildos! It's Hob’s reward to have his hole filled up after he's helped Dream win the tournament.

Maybe he'll just have to take two tennis balls instead.

[transingthoseformers]

Seeing OP as a corrupt cop made me think of that tumblr post that had normal OP be replaced by SG OP and only Ratchet could tell. TFP-verse.

And wow, what an au that would be. Imagine if Megatron found out. I'm just imagining their battles becoming some sort of twisted courtship. I feel like it would be very dangerous for the mecha around them, and the more secure SG OP would feel in his hold over the Autobots, the more he'd let his mask slip. Shorter temper, crueller in battle, less concerned for humans etc.

Okay but that sounds cool as fuck, I've read fics where he was imo slipping into SG territory but never a full on swap like this

I wonder just how would Ratchet react? What's his course of action? Hell even if he did tell anyone would there be unpleasant consequences? What if SG Oppy learned that baseline Ratty knew?

The possible dynamic here for SG Optimus and baseline Megatron is interesting, especially as it falls onto the side of their scale where Megatron is insanely fascinated with him, dare I say enamored. Does anyone notice this? If so, what do they do? Again, consequences?

Don't even get me started on the humans like. Does someone out of the five main humans notices that he's a little more harsh? If so, again, course of action? Consequences?

Is the entire thing just a "frog in a pot of water with the water slowly being brought to boil and it doesn't even notice" situation? (Btw that's a myth. The frog exactly realizes at some point the water is getting too hot.) Where they notice too late?

What about the possibility of someone expressing concerns gets brushed off? Now I don't think any of the autobots would have malicious intentions in said brushing off, I just think they'd try their damnedest to give Optimus the benefit of the doubt because as far as they're aware that's someone they care deeply about and that's a thing. Ignoring red flags for the sake of someone you trust and know that deeply, even if shit is starting to get odd.

But, that's the fun thing about this scenario (well fun to us). That is not their Optimus. That is not their friend. That is not their leader. That is not their prime. That is shattered glass Optimus, a warped bizarro version of the mech they know and love, pretending to be baseline Optimus.

[trashogram]

More Superjail! under the cut bc I watched it all on HBO Max this weekend so I’m a little fixated. Heads up, it’s mostly Ash and Stingray stuff:

So yes I’m contemplating ‘/Reader’ stuff for both, but it’s tricky bc the show def does not lend itself to anything sweet. It would have to be in an AU where things aren’t nihilistic, inconsequential, everything is a tasteless joke kind of way.

At the same time, Ash is actually baby

idk how you’d fuck him without hurting him?? Or describing the mechanics in a way that’s respectful somehow? Bc he’s a burn victim.

Like how to describe that? I’m not looking it up.

Somewhat tempted to make a joke fic where Reader tears Superjail apart trying to find decent lube just to do it

As for Lord Stingray, he’s just an irredeemable POS like the rest of them

I’ve never been particularly into dom/fem-dom or humiliation but… it would be funny to me to call him a little bitch bc that is exactly what he is

The only somewhat wholesome thing I can think of with him is touch-starvation bc he’s always in that suit

Also, canonically it looks like he’s just a human dude and I’m not really a fan (as much as I enjoy a good dad bod and he’s kinda got that going on in S3E1) so I think it would be fun to conceptualize him as an actual marine-based alien

My fav scenario rn, beware of some non-con:

(OP is a cis woman and I’m writing this for me so 🤷‍♀️) During the ‘Stingstress’ era, Fem!Reader is essentially just another prisoner but she’s intrigued by Stingray and manages to catch him apart from Mistress and his own inmates from SJ. Reader plays up being a more shy, docile lady - acting like prey to attract the supervillain bc he’s not immune to the appeal of corrupting innocents

but then in the middle of things, Reader switches it up and completely blindsides him by tying him up and verbally humiliating him bc how could you not?

He calls her every name in the book and vows to kill her but it’s obvious that he enjoys it despite vehemently denying so

a lot of detail on touching him beneath the armor and exploring his wacky anatomy from there

OR for the gag, Reader finds out he’s actually just some human guy and leaves him strung up and shrieking bc that’s so disappointing nvm

[teddy06writes]

It Was Yours, Why Does It Have To Be Mine?

Requested by this anon who decided to break my heart: “Hear me out. Dream x fem!reader angst. Originally, the reader was the one who wore the smiley faced mask. Dream and the reader were in love and dream proposed, reader said yes, then later that night, the reader passed away (either sickness or getting hurt idc) and in order to keep her memory, dream wears the mask in her absence.” 

Dream x fem!reader

trigger warnings: some swears, character death, general angst

premise: in game au; You and Dream have been together since what feels like the beginning of time, and it had always seemed like you would be together, and now he had finally had the confidence to propose, unfortunately, Wilbur and his new developing country of L’manburg have other plans for you

{hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh this one hurt}

{I listened to Sebelius : Finlandia Op.26 on repeat while writting this and only questioned my sanity twice}

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You giggled, “Where are we goingg?”

“Somewhere special,” Dream said, raising your entwined hands enough to press a kiss to your knuckles, “Trust me, your going to love it.” 

You laughed again, free hand reaching back to adjust the knot holding your mask in pace, “You’re ridiculous.” 

Today had marked the four year anniversary since you and Dream had started dating officially, and he had insisted in abandoning all his duties to the smp for a day to take you out. 

The two of you had been wandering through the woods for a while now, and you were fairly convinced that he had no idea where he was going, but still you didn’t say anything. 

“It should be just through here.” He said, leading you down between two trees. 

A moment later you came into a clearing, decorated with lights, a picnic set up in the middle, with a perfect view of the rest of the hill side. 

“Oh my god!” You squeaked. 

“You like it?” He asked. 

“I love it! This is so cute, Dream!” 

Dream chuckled, “Bad found the spot, and I got Sapnap to help get all this stuff out here.” 

You grinned to a point where he could tell even with your mask on, “It’s perfect.”

Carefully he flicked at the edge of the wide mask, “Take that stupid thing off and kiss me.” 

“It’s not stupid!” You protested, “Come on Dream just kiss the smiley face, its good enough.” 

Reluctantly he pressed a kiss to the mask and you beamed, immediately moving to slip it off,  kissing him properly before going to sit down on the picnic blanket.

You looked back up at him, “While don’t just stand there, come on! Sit with me!” 

~~ A while later, after the food had been eaten, you were leaned back against Dream, eyes closed happily, mask still off to the side, “Thank you, for this.” 

“Of course.” He smiled, “But, uh, actually there's one other thing?” 

You hummed, peaking up at him, “Whats that?” 

“Well- I- I’ve been thinking about it for a while and- well- I was wondering, if you’d- if you’d marry me?” He asked. 

Your eyes shot open to see the ring box in his hand, “Your- you’re not kidding? This is real- this is for real?” 

“Course its real,” He chuckled, “Would you rather have me get on one knee to prove it?” 

Dream quickly maneuvered to be In front of you, on one knee, the ring box held out in front of him, “I have loved you, since the beginning of time (y/n) and now I’m asking you to become my wife.” 

Your hands moved to your face in shock for a moment before dropping back down as you practically tackled him, “Oh my god!”

“Is that a yes then?” He chuckled, doing his best to sit up with your weight still on him. 

You nodded eagerly, and he slipped the ring onto your finger, “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” 

Dream grinned, kissing you once more- only to be distracted by a yell from down the hill. 

“Dream! Dream!” 

“Oh god,” He muttered, standing up, “I’ll be right back” 

You stood as well, stooping to grab your mask and fastening it on your face before following him. 

By the time you had caught up, Sapnap was giving a report on what was going on. 

“He’s starting a new country- says their starting a rebellion.” 

“Who is?” You asked. 

“Wilbur,” Sapnap said curtly, motioning over to where wall were being built, “TommyInnt, Tubbo and Eret have all joined this crazy plan.” 

“Thats insane.” You muttered. 

Dream frowned, “I won’t have this. We’ll stop them. Sapnap, see too it that all of there resources are destroyed.”

The man nodded, and hurried away, already pulling out his flint and steel, and Dream turned to you, “This is the exact opposite of what I was hoping for today.” 

“We’ll figure it out, together.” You assured. 

~~

Later that night, after you had returned home, Dream had gone out again, hoping for a civilized discussion with Wilbur, before getting launched into any war. 

He stood at the gates of L’manburg, looking up at were Tubbo sat on watch, “I need to speak to Wilbur.” 

“Why?” Tubbo challenged. 

Dream crossed his arms, “Because this doesn’t have to become something bloody and violent, now get inside and get him.” 

Scared, Tubbo quickly scrambled down off the wall and toward one of the buildings that had risen with the walls. 

A moment later he came back to open the gates, Wilbur following behind, “I was beginning to wonder when you would show up. I knew you’d have a problem with this.” 

“Wilbur whatever this is it needs to be shut down, now.” 

“That's exactly what I thought you’d say,” Wilbur said, stuffing his hands in his pockets, “That's what tyrants always say.”

“I am not a tyrant!” Dream protested. 

“Is that why you’re forcing your agenda on us? Read the fucking message dick head, we don’t want to deal with you any longer. ‘ere. read this, its the conditions of our independence. We are free and there is nothing you can do to stop us.” 

Dream took the book Tubbo thrust into his hands, ‘the declaration of independance’ 

“Forever the nation of the dream smp has cast sin upon our great land of the hto dog van,” Wilbur quoted, “This book declarers that the nation that shall hence forth be known as the L’manburg is free and independent from the DreamSmp, totally, completely and wholly.” 

“You’re starting a fight you can’t finish.” Dream warned, handing the book back. 

Wilbur scoffed, “On the contrary Dream. You’ve threatened a country that is more than willing to fight back. Tommy, hurry up and get inside!” 

As Wilbur barked the last words Dream turned to see Tommy coming out the darkness, an empty bottle in one hand and a dagger stained a dull rust color in the other. 

“It’s done.” The teen muttered. 

“She put up a fight?” Wilbur asked. 

Tommy, even scared by what he’d done, couldn’t help but look at Dream, a glint in his eye, “(y/n) won’t be a problem anymore.” 

On pure instinct Dream ran, the only thing in his mind that he had to get to you. 

The stillness of the house was broken as Dream crashed through the door, “(y/n)? (y/n)?!” 

Shaking he moved through the house, the was no sign of a struggle, no sign of a break in, but there was a slight lingering affect of a potion in the doorway leading to your shared bedroom. 

From the color of the particles he knew it had been weakness, and he carefully pushed through into the room. 

It was dark, and for a moment, with your form stretched out in bed, he could almost think that everything was fine, that you were just asleep, waiting for him. 

Turning on a light he saw that the reality was much different. 

Blood pooled around you, dripping from the bed and soaking the sheets, evidently coming from the gaping holes in your stomach. 

The worst part of it was the mask clasped in your hands, held out, almost like you were offering it to him. 

“(y/n)...” He whimpered, still frozen in the door, “What do I do? Now that your gone? Oh god what did he do to you?” 

Some how the fact that Tommy had seen your face, the one thing you kept hidden from everyone, except him, seemed to hit Dream the hardest, even as you lay dead. 

Slowly, he moved forward, taking the mask from your hands.

~~ Dream stood at the top of the hill, looking over the crater. 

Somewhere off to the side Phil and Techno were celebrating the victory over everyone, the huge hole where L’manburg had been stretching all the way down the bed rock. 

The porcelain was cold against his face, but Dream had long since gotten used to the uncomfortable feeling of the mask. 

With the mask that you had given him, the mask he had unwillingly taken from you had kept everyone from knowing his pain. And now, he had made sure they felt all of yours and his own. 

The chain with your engagement rings felt heavy around his neck, but he couldn’t help grin at Tommy, who had barley made it out of the wreckage, “Looks like you won’t be a problem anymore.” 

[binniesthighs]

Can you write something like female reader teasing hyunjin before performance and like he gets kinda mad and after performance puts her in place and maybe overstimulates her but still he is soft dom but bottom. Does it make sense?😂

which you and hyunjin have 20 minutes until someone notices, or rather, 19 minutes, leaving 1 for you to put your clothes back on

thank you anon for being so patient while I got this out!! <3

19 minutes | reader x hyunjin

Pairing: self insert, female reader x hwang hyunjin

Genre: that good good smut

Tags: idol!hyunjin, established relationship au, softdombottom!hyunjin, bratty!reader, explicit language, mentions of masturbation, semi-public teasing, thigh riding, dry humping, oral (f receiving), face sitting, spanking, overstimulation + multiple orgasms, semi-public sex

Word count: 1.8k 

Gif creds to OP!

“I know what you’re trying to do.”

It’s cold out in the back alley where you’ve led him, and the tips of your ears sting with heat. He’s slipped his hands inside your coat with curious fingers that tug at the folds of your shirt. His lips taste like that strawberry-flavored chapstick you had hidden in his pocket before.

There’s steam emanating off his body that turns into white vapor in the air. Hyunjin’s grip on you is tight, regardless of the fact that nearly anyone could see you had they turned their head.

You lean into him fully, pressing his body and yours against back door which is crinkling with old green paint. His scalp is damp, but that doesn’t get in your way of pulling his dark strands to connect your lips deeply with his.

“Is practice almost over? How much more time do you have?”

Even standing, you grind your hips into his the best you can, giggling out when you feel how hard that he’s gotten. It’s so cute; just getting riled up from this. You then let your hands slither up his shirt, and he hisses at the temperature. 

“-Not enough time to do what you want.” He answers.

“But what if I can’t wait?” You bite a smile into his lip. 

Hyunjin’s head falls back onto the door with a thud when you let your creeping fingers tug at his waistband.

“Now? We’re about to go on?” He’s slipping under your touch, but he carries an annoyed edge to his tone.

“You really don’t have time?” You teased the words out from your lips while your fingertips traced over the outline of his hard on.

“What? Do you need me to spell it out for you?”

“Spell what?”

Hyunjin swings you around, switching positions so that now he’s got you pinned. He kicks your legs open, thrusting one of his thighs between them. You’re helpless, and its like an instinct that you grind down on it. Your boyfriend flexes his muscle, just like you like it.

Hyunjin tilts your head to the side to imprint more fleeting kisses on your neck. “Just you wait till I can get my hands on you.”

“You don’t have any time at all?”

Even with a coat on, you can still feel the cold metal door behind your back.

“I could...make some.”

“Why didn’t you say that before?!” You would’ve been furious, but the pressure from his thigh on your clit dissolves your self-control.

His hands on your face feel huge where he cradles you. “After the performance, we have to sit and watch a couple other groups, I can get away then.”

“They won’t notice?”

“People do it all the time. I could be going to the bathroom for all they care.”

“Want to meet there?”

“The bathroom?” Hyunjin laughs out jokingly, tossing his head back. The dainty silver earrings he wears sparkle under the streetlights. “Hell no.”

He shocks you by moving his leg, and your thighs pathetically shudder from the loss of contact.

“Is that what you want? Me bending you over some sink?” He sweeps up both of your hands in his to warm them up with his breath. “I have a better idea.”

✦✧✦✧

Your cap hides your eyes where you attempt to blend in the rest of the staff, busying yourself with a clipboard that’s been left unattended. Over the loudspeakers there’s music booming from a song that you haven’t heard before--likely a comeback stage, you think to yourself. Down the darkly lit hall, you see the glow of the dressing rooms that hustle with staff members jogging in and out. They’re shouting demands at eachother, and the shuffling of feet can be heard even from this far away.

“Are you ready? Are we ready?” It’s their manager’s voice that you recognize.

“Everyone okay? Innie, youre--” Chan’s sunny laughter spills out of the room, and you turn your head as the group starts to walk out.

Your heart beats in your throat when you see Hyunjin, no longer a sweating mess and hair and makeup perfectly fixed, trail out last. None of them see you, even as they walk right past you. Hyunjin however, in the least conspicuous way possible, twists his head around to search for you.

You tug your hat down further, walking right up to him.

“Oh. Sorry.” You bow after purposefully running into him.

He says nothing, only meeting your eyes for that one moment of understanding. Hyunjin waits until they’re nearly at their seats when you watch as he whispers something into Felix’s ear, then rubs his head like it hurts. Felix nods immediately, and pats him on the back. Hyunjin does the same to his manager who looks considerably more concerned and it looks like he’s offering to go with him, but Hyunjin nods him away.

It’s only when he starts walking directly towards you that this all feels real.

He walks right past you, muttering out, “Follow me.”

✦✧✦✧

Hyunjin’s fingers lace between yours as he guides you down the length of the hallway and the pat of your hurried steps taps on the linoleum flooring.

“Hyunjin--” You hiss out the words, “Where are we going?”

“Dressing room.” He’s still wearing his green contacts, and they only make that glint in his eye more ravenous.

It’s dark and cluttered in there, and you have to tiptoe around bundles of coats, makeup organizers and to-go containers. Hyunjin shuffles around in the dark, then lights up his face with the white from his phone screen.

“What are you doing??”

“Setting a timer.” He says matter-of-factly.

“A timer?? You’re kidding.”

“We’ve got at least 20 minutes until someone might come looking for me, 19 minutes if we count the 1 it takes for us to put our clothes back on.”

Hyunjin taps the “start” button.

“You’re not kidding.”

“What? Don’t trust me? You know that it doesn’t take you that long.”

Hyunjin takes you by the hands to one of those blue (you think) plastic-feeling couches.

“Stop wasting time,” He whispers, then draws you into his arms while pulling you into his lap where he sits down. You straddle him, pouring your pent up adoration back onto his lips. In the dark, you feel him smile against you.

Once again, you grind down into him. Hyunjin’s hands fall down to the small of your back where he guides the rolling of your hips.

“Bold of you to come here thinking that you could get something out of me. You’re lucky that I have a hard time saying no to you...still, I’ve missed you.” His voice drops lowly, “Do you want to know a secret?”

You’re too breathless to give him anything else than “Mm?”

“When no one’s around, all I can think about your pretty lips sucking me off.” His fingers ticked the skin of your stomach, all the way up to your breasts which he took roughly in his hands. “When no one’s around, I imagine that it’s your hand instead of mine. Did you know that you do that to me?”

It was too much for you to handle thinking of him like that: desperately pumping into his own hand with your name on his lips. If you had more time, you would have told him that you did the exact same on your nights alone.

“Hyun--”

“But you come here, begging me...”

You circle your hips harder, both of your gasping breaths become heavier.

“I’ll give you what you want...until you can’t take it anymore.”

Your arms fall behind his back, and scrape up and down over his suit jacket--the threads of which are more expensive than you can fathom. Hyunjin holds fast to you, laying down with you on top of him.

“However long we have, I want to spend it on you.”

“Hyunjin...”

“Time’s ticking.” He snickers, then hurriedly unbuttons your pants.

Your chest pounds with excitement and nervousness being bare in the dressing room, as well as in front of him. The sound of your jeans hitting the ground seems to make everything go faster.

Your boyfriend tugs at your legs as you guide yourself nearer to his mouth. He uses his fingers first, plunging deep into your entrance. The sounds of your arousal wet his fingers and he’s laughing out in disbelief under you. After being together for this long, he knows exactly how to curve his fingertips inside of you to graze at your g-spot: an action that sends you biting deep into your lip. His thumb brushes over your clit as if on accident and your body jerks at the sensation.

Hyunjin’s fingers find you in the dimly lit room, granting you the taste wrapped on his fingers. It distracts you from his grasp on your hips and how he pulls you into his tongue. If this were any other time, he would have taken his time with you, but now, he was relentless. He had you by the tip of his tongue in the way that he could send your body reeling from each circle and stripe. His gorgeously plump lips kissed into your sensitive bud while he kept his unforgiving pace.

“Fuck--Hyunjin...”

His hair might have been perfectly styled before, but now, your fingers raked through it carelessly. For seconds, you wondered what they would say if they saw it all messed up like that just because of you.

“Close, I’m gonna--”

He didn’t pause, but rather hummed tiny little moans into your clit. You had been preoccupied, but his legs were still squirming with his twitching dick between them.

You squealed when he brought his hand back, pumping inside of you once more. He stung your skin, bringing a slap downwards that undoubtedly could have been heard outside the door. He brought you to your orgasm just as you felt your arousal drip down your thigh. You choked out your moans as quietly as you could.

His hand cupped over your mouth, then ordered, “You don’t have to be so careful princess.”

You took the hint, and your moans muffled into the cracks of his fingers.

He continued, forcing your legs to shiver and your hips to writhe over his mouth. You were lightheaded from catching your breath, and your clit throbbed in the aftermath of your orgasm with another one unbearably close.

It washed over you faster than the first, and you had little time to remember that the timer was still ticking. Your entire core felt tight while he brought you back down slowly lapping with a flat tongue.

“W-wait--”  

“Can’t take any more?” Hyunjin gifted one last lingering kiss in your wet folds.

“That was...”

“Felt good, hm?”

You stumbled off of him with legs forgetting how to function.

“How much more time do we have?”

Hyunjin wiped his mouth with the backside of his hand, then checked his screen. “Two minutes...You could’ve got me in trouble, showing up like this, you know that?”

You giggled, “I know.”

Your boyfriend tugged up a little at your belt loops, pulling the denim into your still-sensitive bud.

“When we’ve got more time, who knows what else I’ll do to you princess.”

[nastyburger]

public ShortComings right now right now right now right now ri

LMAO I HAVE SUMMONED CONSTELLAJ WITH MY DASH REDEMPTION ARC KLSADJSALKDJALK anyway heres the episode idea under the cut!!!

the premise/start of the episode is similar to its canon counterpart. danny needs to pass an important physical exam and is paired with dash as a fitness buddy to help prepare for it. however, instead of jack just blasting phantom, a ghost, and an innocent bystander outside the house with the shrink ray and promptly fucks off to not deal with the consequences of that, the shrink blaster is introduced early on to danny as a prototype still in the works. it is then left in the lab until it is needed later and the set up for the actual fitness buddy stuff comes into play.

the real deviation from micro management happens when skulker attacks the duo. danny randomly shouts to scatter in opposite directions to throw the ghost off as a thinly veiled excuse to have a place to transform and promptly bolts...... except dash doesnt run in the opposite direction like he was supposed to. danny gets to a secluded area and starts slowing down, like half a second away from going ghost, before being pushed by dash to keep running with skulker following close behind.

while still running for their lives, danny is just like???? why the fuck did you follow me i said scatter????? to which dash promptly says “dude that ghost was definitely chasing you and there’s no way you can out run it, you would’ve been toast.” to further prove the point, danny is unable to shake dash off his tail and actually is struggling to keep up in human form, to the point where dash is practically carrying him while occasionally tossing him ahead to force him to run without falling behind.

danny, realizing that he wont be able to turn into phantom anytime soon, decides “okay change of plans, we’ll do this the human way” and steers dash towards the direction of fentonworks to get ghost weapons instead. they eventually hit the lab and danny starts grabbing ectoguns and starts blasting at skulker who is putting up quite the fight. dash, seeing the struggle, tries to help too. he grabs some guns of his own, but being more unfamiliar with the tech, he grabs a lot of duds or stuff not fully loaded. in his frantic panic, one of the guns dash grabs ends up being the unfinished shrink blaster.

before danny can stop him, the blast goes off but instead of shrinking only the target, it malfunctions and hits everyone in the room and a couple of weapons here and there. the shrink explosion knocks everyone back quite a bit so they’re far away from the gun and idk some bullshit about jack coming in to be like huh that’s weird and taking it somewhere else. shrunken shenanigans ensue.

if danny couldnt get away to transform before, he DEFINITELY cant now (how is he gonna explain disappearing and then having a mini phantom show up lol). so he an dash are stuck together. they grab all the tiny weapons they can and set off, having tiny happenings and that all along the way similarly to canon. the only difference is danny more discreetly using his his powers and covering it up by saying it was fenton tech. it leads to some funny stuff and danny trying to badly lie through his teeth.

this episode builds on both dash’s character and how his view on danny starts to change. this event is sorta the kicker to his whole redemption arc in the nasty reboot timeline, having moments/seeds somewhat sown before this but never full on sprouting until this moment. dash has seen danny hold his own in a fight before, but only in teams, with his friends, and behind weapons (i.e pirate radio) up until this point. as their weapons start to lose ammo and supplies (and, unknown to dash, danny’s powers) dash starts to REALLY see how resourceful and charismatic danny is on his own. all other possible factors are removed here, its just pure, unfiltered, human danny fenton baby!

even when dash has his breakdown similar to canon, the kid he picked on for years still extends a hand and helps him out of it. even when the goal seems so far away like they’ll never make it, danny tells him to press on and keeps moving forward. even when they’re at their wits end and dash cant for the life of him figure out a way out of the situation, danny still!! somehow!!!! does!!!!!!! all these little moments make dash start to fall in love appreciate the skillset and merits danny has all on his own. (theres also like themes of danny learning how to properly balance/maintain both of his lives and learning he has valuable skillsets as fenton too instead of being a useless half in this reboot. dash’s validation is a small part of what encourages danny into realizing his worth. because, hell, if your bully thinks you’re doing alright then thats gotta mean something, right?)

the climax of the episode is when danny is backed into a corner by skulker with no ammo, no powers, and no significant physical strength. but even so, danny decides to go off the deep end by launching himself at skulker and starts smacking the shit out of the ghost with nothing but an empty ectogun and blind gremlin rage.

(exactly like this lol)

in the struggle, danny is doing surprisingly well (which dash absolutely notes in awe) but then at one point, skulker points a weapon in prime position to shoot danny without him noticing. dash panics and rushes to pull fenton off of skulker, but danny, upon realizing what dash is doing, takes opportunity and latches onto skulker’s head trying to pry it off with dash’s combine strength (much to dash’s confusion).

basically, danny manages to rip skulker’s fucking head off (dash is horrified until danny shows him the actual ghost and how his body was just a suit) and sucks up skulker into a spare thermos. the two then use the suit to jet pack them up onto the welding table in the ops center where jack had been tinkering with it.

the shrink blaster had its final fixes implemented in it now, with a reverse switch as well, so danny and dash easily changes back to normal. they share a bit of a moment, similar to phantom and dash in canon. but instead of dash ruining the moment this time, its danny who simply states “well the adrenaline has worn off so i should probably tell you my leg is most likely fractured” before collapsing onto dash. at some point during the tussle with skulker, danny’s leg apparently got scrunched pretty hard to the point of being broken but danny was being too feral in the moment to react right away.

(again, as stated in a previous ask, my shitpost jock protection squad au took various elements from this plotline in the reboot so there will be overlap but its not canon)

because of the broken leg situation, danny is unable to do the test but is allowed to retake it once he recovers. of course, this means dash is still danny’s fitness buddy. this gives an excuse for them to be stuck together for a little longer and so the redemption process begins!!!! (even if danny’s leg technically already healed after a day or so lol)

[refinedbuffoonery]

Broken Like Me (1)

masterlist.

THIS FIC IS NOT INTENDED FOR READERS UNDER THE AGE OF 18. Please see the masterlist for content warnings. 

Here it is, the long-awaited dark!MacRiley AU! First, I want to thank my lovely beta readers and my life-saving brainstorming/workshop buddy. You all know who you are. ❤

This fic adheres to canon through 5x05 and then goes off the fucking rails. Backstory and other important tidbits of information revealed in the latter half of season 5 may be used, but timeline-wise anything after 5x05 does not exist in this fic. Also, Jack is dead and is staying dead, so don’t get your hopes up for a happy ending. 

I will do my best to update this regularly, but hanging out in and writing such dark headspaces is HARD. I will definitely be taking breaks to write fluffier fic, because a big chunk of this story is all hurt and no comfort. 

Without further adieu, let’s get this party started. (It’s not a party. In fact, it’s like...the opposite of a party.) 

*****

They say he was a good man. 

A good soldier. 

A good father. 

A good friend. 

They say they are sorry for her loss, sorry he was taken from this world too soon. 

They say Jack would be proud of the legacy he left behind, would be proud to have gone out in a blaze of glory. 

Riley is sick of it. 

It’s like she’s a teenager, and Jack is leaving her all over again. Only this time it’s worse. This time there’s no coming back. 

The guests at the wake gaze at the folded up American flag on the fireplace mantle with deep respect, but Riley only feels anger every time she glimpses the piece of fabric the government sent back in his place. A flag and a life insurance claim feel like a mockery of the kind of man Jack Dalton was. 

Was. Past tense. 

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

*****

Mac has never been afraid of Riley before. 

He’s seen her angry and upset, but the rage-filled woman he stopped from killing Anya Vitez with her bare hands back in Croatia is someone he does not know. 

The frightening part is that Riley isn’t a hot-headed person. In work mode, she is cold and calculating, so for her to go after Vitez like that...something inside her snapped. 

Three weeks have passed since then, and every time he looks at Riley, Mac remembers holding her back, fingers digging sharply into her waist until she stopped fighting him. He sees the fury radiating off Riley’s body like heat waves off asphalt—sees the way she clings to it, finds purpose in it, letting it consume her so there’s no room for guilt or grief. Mac knows the feeling all too well. And he also knows there will be a very loud thud when she finally comes crashing back down. 

But he also knows that the woman is like a loaded gun, safety off and desperate to fire at something. 

Which is why he worries when Matty calls them in for an op and Riley isn’t there. She’s at Vitez’s trial, Matty informs them, but that doesn’t make Mac feel any better. Whenever there’s downtime during the mission, and Mac’s mind is free to wander, he can't stop thinking about her. This new Riley is becoming obsessively vengeful, and if someone doesn’t reel her back in soon, she might do something she can’t come back from.

The thought plagues Mac every second there aren’t bullets whizzing toward his head. 

After the op, Mac drives to Riley’s apartment. Upon arrival, his ears are assaulted by Riley’s upstairs neighbor blasting Macklemore’s greatest hits. Mac hears the lyrics clear as day, even though both his truck windows and the apartment windows are closed. 

Riley really shouldn’t have moved out of Mac’s house, not if this is her best option. He still doesn’t understand why she did. 

It doesn’t take long to notice the GTO is missing. Riley should be back from the trial by now, but Mac has a sneaking suspicion where she is. 

The drive to Jack’s apartment seems to take forever. The brick building is in an older neighborhood, one of few affordable ones with trees planted along the sidewalks—a luxury in LA. Sure enough, the GTO is parked on the curb, not far from the fire escape that connects to Jack’s living room.

Looking up, Mac spies a familiar body perched on the stairs. 

Riley sits on the fire escape, soaking in the last rays of sunlight. Her eyes are closed, head resting against the brick wall. Mac doesn’t say anything as he sits beside her on the narrow metal stairs, their hips and thighs just touching. 

He doesn’t know what to do with his hands. Should he hug her? Hold her hand? Leave her alone? Riley isn’t a super touchy person. Mac decides on the latter, picking at his fingernails while his gaze drifts west to study the sunset. 

Several minutes pass before Riley says, “Hey.” Her voice is low and scratchy, like she’s been crying. 

“Hey,” Mac repeats. “How long have you been here?” 

Riley shifts beside him, sitting up. “I don’t know. A while.” 

“This isn’t the first time you’ve come here, is it?” 

A sigh. “No, it’s not.” Mac figures as much. Aside from the constant clamor of the city, Jack’s apartment is relatively quiet. It’s not in the greatest neighborhood, but it’s safe enough for Riley to sit alone and think. Or not think. Whatever she feels like doing. 

Riley rests her head on Mac’s shoulder, and a wave of protectiveness floods his system. It’s new, this need to watch her back more than the others’. It came on so gradually that Mac doesn’t know when it started or what triggered it, only that he feels it all the time now. Especially after Jack’s…

He avoids examining the feeling too closely. 

Without warning, Riley says, “If you hadn’t held me back, I would’ve killed her.” 

Knowing exactly who she was talking about, Mac glances down at Riley in surprise. He knows it’s true—thinks so himself—but hearing it come out of her mouth makes his stomach turn. The last, and only, time Riley killed someone...it took her months to piece herself back together afterward. And that death was in self-defense. 

This one would’ve been murder. Intentional and vindictive. 

Mac isn’t sure Riley could come back from that, at least not as herself. The woman who would emerge from that would be a total stranger inside his best friend’s body. Mac suppresses a shiver. “I know,” he says.

“Thank you for stopping me.” Riley’s voice is quiet. So, so quiet. 

“You would’ve done the same for me.” Gingerly, Mac wraps his arm around Riley’s shoulders, ready to let go at the first sign of her discomfort. When she doesn’t react, he relaxes and holds her more surely. 

The sky is painted in vibrant oranges and reds, fading into deep blue overhead. Subtle strokes of pink outline the scattered clouds hanging above the horizon. Out of all the sunsets Mac has seen, all over the world, nothing quite compares to the ones here at home. He wishes Jack was here to see it. 

Mac spends far too long debating whether to bring it up before asking, “Why did you go to the trial?” Agents, especially secret ones, don’t go to trials, mostly to keep their identities safe. Publicly tying oneself to a case is never a good idea, for more reasons that Mac can begin to name. 

“I swore I’d be there every step of the way. I meant it.” Mac tries not to bristle at the snarling, defensive edge to Riley’s tone. “Eventually, she’ll make a mistake, and I will be there when she does. And then I’m going to rip out her entire organization from the roots up.” 

Fear wraps its ugly hand around Mac’s heart. Until every single person associated with Tiberius Kovac is behind bars, there will be a target on Riley’s back, and Riley will have put it there herself. Losing one person to Kovac is more than enough; Mac refuses to lose Riley too. 

“How can I help you?” 

Riley looks up, eyes wide like she’s expecting him to try to talk her out of it, not offer to help. “You don’t have to do that.” 

“And miss out on all the fun?” Mac almost smiles as he quotes her. Almost. 

She sits up. “Honestly, I don’t know. I’m going to hack Interpol first, to see which of her colleagues might also be dirty. So unless you secretly picked up hacking…” 

Mac huffs. “Sorry, I only hack hardware.” He expects some insane, crackhead plan, not something so…reasonable. Maybe Riley isn’t as off-the-rails as he thought. 

But only maybe. 

A seagull perches on the railing below them, honking and squawking for seemingly no reason at all. Gulls are just like that. It glares at Mac, pinning him to his spot with a beady yellow eye, challenging Mac to shoo it away. 

Go find some tourists to harass, Mac wants to snark at it. Leave us alone. 

The seagull cocks its head, as if to say, I know something you don’t. 

Mac narrows his eyes. I bet you do. 

He swears the seagull shrugs before taking off, flying low over the GTO before sailing over rooftops on its way back to the ocean. It passes a billboard advertising a new blockbuster spy thriller, the product of millions of dollars and Hollywood plot recycling. Mac saw the trailer. The movie is about a soldier who joined the CIA in a quest for retribution after his best friend came home in a box. Usually Mac likes watching spy movies—mostly to make fun of them—but this one hits a little too close to home. 

It takes a monumental effort to tear his gaze away. 

When his eyes finally meet Riley’s, Mac understands the silent ache in them—the ache that’s surely reflected in his own eyes. He and Riley are drowning, but at least they’re drowning together. 

Mac frowns. That must be the dimmest “on the bright side” thought he’s ever had. 

Riley doesn’t say anything more, so neither does Mac. They sit on the fire escape until long after the sun sets and the temperature drops, and the city's nightlife stretches its limbs as it wakes. Mac shivers, but Riley seems oddly unaffected by the cold. That or she’s too numb to notice. 

He threads his still semi-warm fingers through her icy ones, letting their joined hands rest on his knee. It seems like his last tether to the Riley he knows and loves, one who’s slowly slipping away from him and being replaced by a woman who might very well bring the world to its knees as payback for all that it’s done to her. 

Mac has no interest in ever meeting that woman. Mostly because he refuses to lose his Riley, but also because Mac knows he won’t be able to resist that other Riley. She will slash his restraint beyond repair, and Mac will follow her to the ends of the earth. 

He will find a way to keep them both afloat. He has to. 

Or else the Phoenix may very well be hunting him and Riley again, and this time, they’ll deserve it.

*****

Entering her apartment later that night, Riley realizes too late that it isn’t empty. Bozer is still there, and he’s making dinner. Locking the door behind her, she hears a rushed, “Got to go, Matty. She’s home.” 

Bozer crashed on her couch the night they got the news and never left. I don't want you to be alone, Bozer keeps saying, despite her insistence she doesn’t need a babysitter. Other than that, they don’t speak to each other much. In fact, Riley wouldn't have noticed he said anything at all if not for the way he stares at her, standing at the stove and twirling a wooden spoon between his fingers. 

"What?" she snaps. 

Carefully, Bozer asks, "How was the trial?" 

"Fine." Riley knows he cares, and that he’s hurting too, but nothing he says or does is going to help her. The sooner he figures that out the better. She drops her keys and jacket on a chair before heading for her bedroom. 

“You hungry?” he calls after her. 

Riley yanks off her boots, chucking them into the closet with too much force. “No.” 

“Have you eaten anything today?” 

Her fuse is running short these days, and she’s just about had it with his incessant smothering and questioning. Riley marches into the kitchen, rolling her shoulders back and bracing her hands on the counter. “Last I checked, I still have a mother, so if you’re just going to keep nagging me, then I think it’s time you get the fuck out of my apartment.” 

Bozer’s eyes widen and his mouth opens, but no sound comes out. 

“Get out,” Riley snarls. 

Still struggling to regain his ability to speak, Bozer stammers, “At least let me finish making you dinner first.” 

“Fine.” Cracking her knuckles, Riley retreats to her bedroom once more. “I’m taking a shower. You better be gone when I come out.” She doesn’t wait for a response. 

When Riley emerges, her dinner is cold, and Bozer is long gone. 

She doesn’t eat.

*****

On the second day of Vitez’s trial, Riley sits in the back of the room long after the trial adjourns for the day, thinking. She didn’t recognize the witnesses who testified today, and as the prosecutor called each one forward, Riley wished she had her laptop so she could look them up. Now, as she stares over the rows of empty wooden seats to the section where the jury sat, Riley can only hope that the witnesses’ testimonies are enough. 

Riley knows there’s more than enough evidence to convict Vitez—especially since she recorded the confession herself—but obsessing over the trial is easier than facing the reality waiting outside the courthouse doors. 

Her mom invited her to visit his grave today, after the trial, but Riley declined. Facing that slab of granite will make it real, make it…permanent. 

She knows what it says. Jack Dalton. Beloved. Gone too soon. Someone asked for her approval before it was made. It doesn’t say nearly enough to encapsulate all that he was, but at the time Riley couldn’t think about it—couldn’t look at it—long enough to suggest any changes. She still can’t. 

Chewing her lip, Riley anxiously toys with her rings, spinning them and moving them from finger to finger. 

At the wake, one of his old Delta buddies joked that the gravestone should read “Yippee-ki-yay, motherfuckers,” but Riley didn’t laugh. 

Riley hasn’t laughed since Matty broke the news. It’s like the part of her that knows how to feel joy died in that explosion too. 

Instead, she wants to scream at the universe until her voice gives out, cursing it for taking her dad away too soon. Because that’s what he is. Her dad. Riley doesn’t even know when she started calling him that again, but if she has to guess, it was sometime between the first “I’m proud of you, honey” and him kicking her ass at skee-ball for the millionth time.

Tears leak from Riley’s eyes without her consent. 

It feels like she failed him, in a way. By not being there. By not keeping him alive. 

Now the best she can do is make sure his death means something. 

Vitez will go to prison for the rest of her life, that Riley is sure of. But the rest of her organization is still out there, and Riley intends on putting every single member behind bars. No amount of justice will even begin to heal the Jack-shaped wound in her heart, but at least the world will be better for it. Safer. 

But she’d rather live in a more dangerous world with him still in it than a safer one without. That way they could save the world together, like they always did. 

This isn’t how it’s supposed to be.

Anger rumbles through her body, like a Texas thunderstorm in her veins. It’s the only emotion Riley feels anymore, ever since the sadness gave way to numbness. 

A woman in a security uniform pokes her head in the room. “Excuse me, ma’am. I need to lock up for the night.” When Riley doesn’t respond, the woman adds, “Are you okay?” 

Are you okay? Riley hates that question more than all the others. How are you? Have you eaten today? What can I do to help? 

She feels like she’s dying. She can’t eat. Nothing will help. 

But that isn’t what people want to hear. Even Mac asked that last question, yesterday on the fire escape, although Riley didn’t automatically despise the question like she usually did. It’s different coming from him than anyone else; his offer was genuine, not coming from pity or obligation.

She isn’t surprised Mac recognized her need to do something. After all, he had been the same way after his dad was killed. 

Coldly, Riley finally says,“I will be.” The woman doesn’t deserve her abrupt answer, but Riley can’t quite bring herself to care. She lets the anger the questions bring up fuel her, lets it hold her together. 

The anger is all she has left. 

Riley stands, her heels clicking on the floor as she exits the courthouse. 

She’s coming for all the monsters who hurt him. She’s coming for the ones who rendered him nothing more than ashes on the wind, the ones who turned her life into a nightmare she can’t wake up from. 

Because she doesn’t need to wake up to become theirs.

~

Want to be tagged in future chapters? Send me an ask.

[morifinwes]

Lauraa I finished all the fics, apart from decay (currently reading that now) and I love it sm! Especially the lip gloss one lmao the whole thing was so hilarious to me XD but also like the concept of lwj wearing lipgloss is >>> -yibobibo

@yibobibo then i'm going to rec you some more!! the lip gloss one was !!!!! ajsksks yes!! lwj wearing lipgloss is just so!! good!!

modern

this one is the painful one i talked about:

visitations by var_abelasan (12K, wip, divorced wangxian, post divorce, most of this is angst, uhm lowkey don't but also do want wangxian to end up together, it's messy, the jiangs & lans are shitty, wwx was in prison (brief mentions of that but it's kind of a major plot point), mxy & xy are the little brothers he never wanted but wwx picked them up anyways)

"Wei Ying-" Lan Zhan says, stutters, "I'm sorry." 

And now Wei Wuxian sees it, the red rimming Lan Zhan's eyes, the rumpled edges of his blazer. There is an old, familiar urge for him to reach over, to hold Lan Zhan's hand and smooth his hair, to tell him that everything will be fine. 

"We're all a bit sorry about this, I think," he says instead, and finds that he means it. For Lan Xichen and Lan Wangji and everyone else in that Guanyin temple, the pain must be unbearably fresh, like skin just flayed open. But Wei Wuxian's chest had been cracked open a long time ago, his wounds licked and cauterized and sewn shut over five long years - Ever hurting, but a dull, constant ache, "It's really alright, Lan Zhan."

 

Five years after being accused of corporate espionage and losing everything, the Guanyin Scandal breaks open and Wei Wuxian finds a familiar face at his door.

please don't let me be misunderstood by sysrae (3K, partly deaf!wwx, lwj notices, nobody else does though, idk wwx is like made out of fucking steel or some shit)

Lan Wangji has known Wei Ying for a fortnight, the first time he sees him get hit by a car.

light by redkosmos (10K, blind!lwj, which causes angst, but they manage it, best friends to lovers, fluff, lwj being insecure and feeling like a burden, college au kind of? but it doesn't matter too much)

The realization slowly dawns on him.

He can never again see the brightness of Wei Ying's eyes, the way they crescent when he smiles, never again see the rich black of his hair, the mess of it in the early mornings, never again see the beautiful tan of his skin, the beauty of the scars and marks adorned on it, how he wears his clothes, how it hugs his frame beautifully, how he looks like he's adorably swimming in cloth when he wears Lan Zhan's, and-

(Lan Zhan loses his vision in a car accident and learns to cope with it.)

don't leave me by trippinonskies (19K, brief very brief mention of lwj cheating, he doesn't but wwx is afraid lwj is cheating on him or just wants to break up with him, (he doesn't), marriage proposal, lwj acting distant = wwx's insecurities show up, fluff, angst and comfort)

Lan Zhan! Where are you lost today?” Wei Wuxian finally asks, at the end of his patience.

Lan Zhan looks a little guilty as he looks at Wei Wuxian, “Sorry, just a lot of work to deal with.”

Lie.

If there is one thing Lan Zhan can’t do, it’s lying. Especially to Wei Wuxian. But he doesn’t question Lan Zhan. He just accepts the reply, too scared to know that he is right. Too scared to know the truth.

// or where Lan Zhan is too hung up in planning the perfect proposal and ends up accidently ignoring Wei Wuxian making the other think that he wants to break up //

want you closer by xiaobucephalus ((3K, HORSES, only in the background tho, but wwx is an equestrian vet, which is so fucking valid bro, the lans own horses, a sick bunny, lwj the bunny parent!, super cute, dark bay throughoutbred chenqing is honestly so valid)

“Thank you,” Lan Zhan said, breathing a sigh of relief.

“Don’t thank me, Lan Zhan,” Wei Ying laughed again, his voice warming the chill of fear that had settled in his chest. “I’ve been looking for an excuse to get into your hutch for a while anyway.”

safe in your thoughts by anonymous (20K, it's a cherry magic au???? (i haven't watched it, but you have i think?), horny lwj but only for wwx (always for wwx))

Wei Wuxian learns three very important things on the night of his twenty-seventh birthday.

One, that Lan Wangji is ridiculously funny, which Wei Wuxian had known before but what Wei Wuxain hadn’t expected was Lan Wangji to be funny at his brother’s expense.

Two, that Wei Wuxian had finally gone mad, absolutely mental at the ripe age of twenty seven because nothing else would explain the third thing he had learnt.

Third, and the most unbelievable of the lot, that Lan Wangji wants to fuck him.

iura by yoo_im_finally_writing (1K, only added bcs op is right and wwx would've the cutest german accent, it's more fun if you understand german so hit me up if you want translations for the german sentences)

Wei Ying calls in the middle of the night to talk about German law, and Lan Zhan tries very hard not to fall asleep. Or at least, not to let Wei Ying notice he's falling asleep. (As best friends do.)

breathe in the air, the last of its kind by wereworm / @neverdoingmuch (27K, getting together, jealous!lwj, but also kind of supportive, brief mention of cheating bcs of miscommunication, no actual cheating tho, college au, lwj pov)

Following Wei Ying’s line of sight, Lan Wangji can barely prevent a smile from crossing his lips when he sees the short row of rabbit statuettes placed at the front of the display. Silver, with bright gems for eyes, they look elegant yet lively and animated.

“A-Yuan would love one of those,” Wei Ying murmurs, almost as if to himself.

Lan Wangji frowns; the rabbits, while cute, don’t seem like a suitable gift for Wei Ying’s A-Yuan.

...

It’s only when he glances back at the rabbits and notices what has been placed on display behind them, that the pieces fall into place. They’re engagement rings, there’s no doubt about it. Lan Wangji feels his heart sink – Wei Ying isn’t just dating A-Yuan, he wants to propose to him.

Or: the five times Lan Wangji thinks that A-Yuan is Wei Ying’s boyfriend and the one time he learns the truth.

paint smears on sunny days by snowshadowao3 / @angstsexual (53K, getting together, art teacher!wwx, single parent!lwj, they're rich if i remember right, wwx & lwj are both good with kids!!!, this is so good actually, fluff)

To say that he runs to his car would be incorrect, as he is a Lan, and running is both undignified and unnecessary unless in immediate danger. Nor does he slam his key into the ignition, or aggressively swerve around the cars on the freeway, or have a mild panic attack at the fact he is picking A-Yuan up late from school for the first time ever.

He comes close, though.

By the time he arrives, it’s 4:35PM, and he has imagined about fifty different worse-case scenarios. The door is partly open when he gets to it, a messy label of 104B—Art Room scrawled with chalk on a placard next to the faded wood. As he opens it fully, he expects to see a wailing, terrified child, or perhaps a scene of utter misery and betrayal.

What he finds is his son, hands covered in paint, being sung to by a beautiful, dark-haired stranger.

“Ducks live in the pond, yellow ducks, happy ducks!”

Lan Wangji stops in his tracks.

(Or: Falling in love with your son’s art teacher, in five parts)

no bunny compares by gusucloudbunny (4K, god this is cute, fluff)

“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian cornered his friend one week before his birthday. “If you could have anything in the world, what would it be?”

Lan Wangji furrowed his brow at Wei Wuxian, not exactly sure how to answer that question in a truthful manner that didn’t involve confessing his undying love for his best friend.

Wei Wuxian is on a mission to get Lan Wangji the perfect gift for his birthday. What Wei Wuxian doesn't know is that the only thing Lan Wangji truly wants is him.

wei wuxian's week of realizing things by photojenny (12K, i have read this multiple times, i always forget what happens, idk why but my notes say it's good, the tags say drunkji makes an appearance and i'm always up for that)

"Lan Zhan, do you like Mianmian?" asked Wei Wuxian.

Lan Wangji blinked, and stared. It was not the first time Lan Wangji had questioned the perceptiveness of the boy he had a crush on. Wei Wuxian had been smart in the class they had taken together. Yet time and time again, Wei Wuxian had tested the old wisdom that there are no stupid questions.

---

Lan Wangji must figure out how to confess when Wei Wuxian is the most oblivious person he's ever met.

are you my wisdom tooth? because i'd like to take you out by yellowcarnations (1K, crack, fluff, lwj stop flirting with a stranger, even if he is your husband, drunkji but make it to max level)

Lan Zhan wakes up and he has no idea where he is.

There are bright lights and his jaw hurts, he doesn't who this man next to his bed is but oh he might be in love, maybe, probably, definitely.

–

based off that guy-forgets-who-his-wife-is-and-hits-on-her vid but its wangxian.

beep! goes his heart by wearing_tearing (3K, fluff, lwj is like "he, he likes me right? he likes me" and everyone is like "yes, yes he does")

“Wei Ying’s heart monitor,” Lan Wangji starts.

Wen Qing blinks at him. “Yes?”

“It beeps.”

“That’s… what they generally do, yes.”

“The beeps change,” Lan Wangji continues, “when others are around.”

*

Wei Ying’s heart only sings for Lan Wangji.

canon

obedient and bellicose by thunderwear (19K, lwj is cursed by the lan elders, they notice too late, fix-it fic kind of?, lqr being a good uncle and lxc is a good brother, wwx accidentally uses the curse but he doesn't know about it)

It took Lan Wangji a long time to realize he was cursed. Too long really, anyone else would have noticed so much sooner. The problem was, he liked following the rules.

Ella Enchanted AU that no one needed but I wanted.

hello my old heart, how have you been? by ravenditefairylights (10K, amnesia, fluff, wwx taking care of lwj, so much fluff and softness, angst too but not that much)

The issue is, Lan Wangji brings his thoughts back before they stray too far, that it is impossible for someone to be in his bed, unless Lan Wangji himself invited them. He has not. He would remember doing so, and besides, all his night clothes are still on and there is no headache to imply that he was inebriated last night. No, the situation is simple.

There is someone in Lan Wangji’s bed. It is impossible for anyone to be in Lan Wangji’s bed, and yet that doesn’t seem to have stopped the stranger.

or lan wangji wakes up, and wei ying is there. he doesn't understand how or why, and he can understand even less why his hallucination of wei ying is so insistent on bathing him, and braiding his hair, on holding him and fixing his clothes. why the hallucination of wei ying seems so happy to see him.

teach me the way by likeafox (58K, rogue cultivator!wwx, horny wangxian, lwj wants wwx to teach him how to be a good lover, ....wwx is a virgin, the porn is the plot, but there's less of it than i thought)

"I do not wish to leave my future spouse… dissatisfied with my intimate knowledge,” Lan Zhan says, very seriously. “I am hoping to find an instructor, to better prepare myself for such matters."

Wei Ying feels his mouth drop open. He's pretty sure the Second Jade of Lan just told him he's a virgin who wants to learn how to do sex good.

Rogue Cultivator Wei Wuxian is the stuff of local legends. Some of those legends are even true! The ones about his tremendous experience in bed, on the other hand, are not so true. Which becomes a problem when Lan Wangji, on the verge of an arranged marriage and worried he won’t know how to please his future spouse, enlists Wei Ying's help to teach him the art of love-making. Wei Ying's great at improvisation, though, and is pretty sure he's got this sex mentor thing under control. What could possibly go wrong

other aus

of god: my love unholy by tunnelodfawn (3K, tw blood / war, dark!lwj, god!wwx, kind of poetry)

Lan Zhan takes everything as a sign from his god. The blood staining his fingertips—a holy anointment. He sanctifies himself through blood. The strings of his guqin gleam red in the sun—a divine blessing. This is an instrument of destruction. A single note—a cry of power—and in this note the voice of his god unravels the earthly threads tethering man to earth.

The Yiling Patriarch blesses Lan Zhan with war. Wei Wuxian blesses Lan Zhan with agility. Wei Ying blesses Lan Zhan with love.

The base of the Yiling Patriarch’s shrine is the home of Lan Zhan’s knees. He worships. There is something of the blasphemous and the unholy in his prayers. He prays not for victory but for the sight of Wei Ying. Bless me with your presence, he begs.

Or, wherein, Lan Zhan bridges the gap between the mortal and the divine—the worshipper and the god—with blood.

the river and the sea by sasamelons / @sasamelons (7K, soulmate au, arranged marriage (wangxian with each other), they're both kind of dumb but i love it)

Lan Wangji gritted his teeth, wishing to just be left alone. "I am looking for my soulmate," he ground out.

"Oh."

It took Lan Wangji a few moments to realize that Wei Wuxian had stopped following him. When he looked back, the other boy seemed to be frozen to the spot, eyes wide and lips still parted. He quickly looked away when he saw Lan Wangji looking back. "I see. Well, have a good trip!"

--

At six years old, Lan Zhan met his soulmate on the streets of Yiling and promptly lost him again.

At sixteen years old, Lan Wangji met his betrothed and was determined not to like him.

[fbfh]

fangirl’s paradise - leo x reader

genre/vibe: romance, adventure, slice of life

word count: 2.8k

pronouns/perspective: first person present, no pronouns (I think), gn reader

au: soulmate kind of?? also traveling to other dimensions/multiverse

pairing: Leo x fic writer!reader

requested: nah

warnings: you think someone broke into your house for a minute, you feel like you’re going crazy for a minute, questionable pop culture/internet references, you get really embarrased about stuff you’ve written, you say fuck a lot, tiddy as an explative

summary: all you wanted to do was write some leo one shots for your blog, but finding out he’s your soulmate is good too

reccomended songs: havana - camila cabello, where do we go from here - amelie obc

a/n: got really meta and self indulgent with this bad boy, probs gonna do a part 2 at some point, cause this got really long and I started to get tired lol. For clarity, you’re from the riordanverse, but ended up in a world where it’s fictional. also some memories were erased. 

requests r open xo

All I wanted to do was dance embarrassingly and sing along to the same playlist I’d been listening to for the past three days in terrible accents while I wait for my ramen to finish cooking. That’s it. I really don’t think that’s too much to ask for. Plus, I’ve been home alone all day, so it’s really not too much to ask for. I flip over the waistband of my sweatpants while shimmying my way to the kitchen. 

“Half of my heart is in havana oh nana,” I sing along off key, in a pseudo growly voice that makes me giggle. I’m going to turn the corner, make myself some ramen, then finish the episode of love island I’ve been watching. Except that’s not what happens.

“He got tha-” I cut myself off with a scream, seeing a stranger in the hall way. He looks up. I scream more, way more, and choke out, “JFK’s left fucking tiddy!”, because this dude is either the best freaking cosplayer ever, or those tiktok reality shifting tutorials actually worked at some point. 

He looks too natural, too organic. The level of detail and strategic imperfection is beyond conscious choice. There’s no way he’s a cosplayer that broke into my house. Also, that would be a super weird crime. 

Either way, I’m standing in front of a dude who looks exactly like Leo Valdez. 

It feels… fake.

I didn’t really notice I’m covering my mouth with my hand to stop my hysterical scream laughs, but I’m able to get it under control after a second. 

He’s looking at me, eyes wide, examining me, probably wondering why I’m acting so erratically. Or why I just spat out such strange bullshit. In my defense, I’ve been watching chaotic tiktok compilations inbetween updating my blog for like, two days straight. Three other people round the corner. I don’t know what I expected, and it shouldn’t have been a surprise at this point, but I’m sure I’m looking no other than at Percy Jackson, Annabeth Chase, and Piper Mclean. 

“Jesus fucking christ, fuck me with a chainsaw!” I spit, retreating into the kitchen, reminding myself that while they are my favorite characters - and again, somehow real and in front of me? - they’re still technically intruders. I grab the nearest kitchen implement, a pair of red kitchen scissors I’d used to hack open the ramen packet, and point it at them. 

“Woah,” Piper says, “it’s okay, we’re not going to hurt you.” I count to four and breathe in, setting the scissors back down within arms reach. Hold for seven, exhale for eight. I repeated the process again, watching Annabeth whispering to Leo.

I can feel the initial freak out subsiding. I’m starting to calm down a little.

“We’re not going to hurt you,” Piper repeats. Well duh, they’re the good guys. A spike of pure what the fuck shoots through me, as I realize I’m already adapting to the fact that fictional fucking characters are standing in my kitchen. Leo’s ignoring Annabeth, and still staring at me, searching my eyes for... something.

Piper’s brow furrows. I call past Piper to Annabeth.

“Yeah, hi op, what the fuck?” They all have a silent conversation for a minute, and I continue, “Anyone want to tell my why the fuck fic-”

“We can tell you what’s going on, but it’s going to sound crazy.” Piper starts.

“After the past five minutes, probably not.” I glance past her shoulder, Leo’s still examining me. I look away, overwhelmed almost immediately. About 30% of my brain is just an endless loop of ‘ohmygodohmygodohmygod he’s real??? Like,,,, r e a l real????? Aj;dlfkajskdla ohmygod he’s looking at me what the fuck richard’, 20% was still trying to calm down from freaking out so much earlier, so I was at about half brain power for the conversation ahead. 

“Okay, wait. Let me get this straight.” they stare at me in silence. We’re standing in the hallway outside the kitchen, and I feel like a complete disaster trying to process what they’re telling me and not look like a total idiot.

“So, Calypso went missing, and Leo got Aphrodite to activate his soulmate link so he can find her and it led you here?” I’m already smiling. There’s no chance, I can’t get my hopes up. 

Piper continues, “Which means it might not be Calypso.”

“Unless you’re wearing a really good disguise or something,” Leo says. I’m pretty sure that’s the first time he’s spoken to me. I let out a breathy laugh and look away from him. If I try to look at him my brain goes haywire. Scenes from stuff I’ve written about him on my tumblr flash in my mind, and it makes me feel like I’m about to explode. 

“Yeah, the reason we know is-”

“The gods are real, monsters are after you, et cetera et cetera. Yeah.” They seem a little surprised that I’m more concerned with the soulmate part than the mythology part, but I’ve been reading these books since middle school. We been knew.

Piper keeps looking between Leo and me with a weird look on her face. God, Piper, don’t get my hopes up. A knowing look passes over her face and she looks around the room again.

“Gods, where did he go…” She gets up and leaves the room. No one says anything. Between right then and when she gets back should have been in a ‘top ten most devastating anime uncomfortable silences’ compilation. She enters again a few seconds later, a tall hot guy behind her. He has red flowers in his hair and isn’t wearing a shirt for some reason. He looks between me and Leo.

“I see… interesting.” he turns to me and says, “Can you tell me anything… personal about him?” My face flushes. I turn to Piper.

“Sorry, but who the fuck?”

“I mean the only noncanon stuff I know is what I came up with for like, writing and stuff but that doesn’t count-” I sputter.

“Eros.” she replies, “My mom sent him along to help find the right person.”

“Normally I’d be able to tell instantly, but my powers don’t seem to work here very well.” his voice is like honey, and it seems like he’s heavily implying something no matter what he says. 

“Yeah, go on hermosa,” Leo says, smirking, “take a whack at it.” His voice sounds so much more… real than I could have imagined. If I could verbally keysmash, I would have then and there. 

“Hmm… why don’t you try anyway. What kind of lover is he?” the room erupts into protests. They don’t want to hear personal stuff about their friend, I don’t want to talk about cripplingly embarrassing smut headcanons in front of the character they’re about, and he probably doesn’t want me taking a wild guess at his bedroom habits. Eros turns to Percy, Annabeth, and Piper.

“You two, out. You, leave but stay close.” They leave the room hastily.

“Since I’m the god of sexual desire, I know what gets people going. I’ll be able to tell if you’re right or not. ” Eros says. I risk a glance at Leo, who I have a feeling has been staring at me a lot. He leans forward, playful intrigue all over him. How is he not dying inside?? 

“Ah ah,” Eros says to Leo, “you too.” Leo obliges, and heads up the stairs.

“H- okay, uh… he acts like a top, but he’s really kind of a bottom,” I choke out, trying to remember details from past posts, and Eros nods in approval, encouraging me to keep going, “he’s really-” my voice falters, and I hide my head in my hands, “he’s really vocal, like really vocal… uh…” 

“Oh yes, I can tell.” Eros says, and I laugh slightly. “What else?” 

“More? God okay… uh… he really likes hickeys, and-” I choke on my words, still unsure of how I got in this situation. 

“He holds hands a lot in… the bedroom? God…” I trail off.

“The next morning, he kind of… he just sort of stares at you while you get dressed and stuff. I don’t know anyone else who does that.”

Eros studies me for a second. My heart is beating so hard. How long does it take to say yes or no? I’m uncomfortably aware of the distracting adrenaline in my arms and chest and head. 

“Interesting,” he says, then stands up and leaves the room.

What the fuck, is he not going to tell me anything?

I’m listening as closely as I can, and I’m pretty sure I hear Eros say five out of five. I got everything right or everything wrong. Nailed it or failed it. 

Piper speeds past me a second later and races up the stairs. After a few seconds she comes back down. She nods toward the staircase.

“You should go talk to him.” a knowing smile is playing at the corner of her mouth, and I can’t stop one from starting on mine. I run up the stairs, and see him, kneeling on my bed, reading what’s on my laptop. 

Oh god, no. 

He stands up. He’s staring at me so intensely, I look away immediately. I start sputtering out a panicked apology and sit down on my bed, moving to shut the lid of my laptop.

“Uh… I just listen to a song or something that makes me think of you,” my voice gets really tiny at that last part, “and stuff starts to pop into my head. I just keep replaying it, and uncovering more details so I can wr- wait,” I start to look up at him, but can’t bring myself to meet his eyes. I stare intensely at the pattern on my quilt instead. “Did you say remember?” He lets out a breathy laugh, and I can hear the smile in his voice. 

“-of course I never thought you were going to read any of that, or…” His hand is on top of mine, my hand and voice freezing at the same time.

“How… did you remember all this?” my fears are being squashed. He doesn’t sound mad, or grossed out, or judgemental. He sounds… impressed.

“Yeah, I mean, I’m only starting to get back bits and pieces, but you remember… everything.” 

“Wait wait…” I mutter, completely dazed, “so it wasn’t… it was all real?” I feel him nodding behind me, and he makes a noise of agreement. 

“It was genius, really… as soon as I felt like I was remembering something, I’d forget it.” His other hand rests on my shoulder, palm flat against my back. “Only you would think to write it like that…” 

“So… it all happened?” I breathe, my face heating up as I think of the titles marked with a little asterisk. 

“Yeah,” I bite my lip, feeling his breath over my skin. It’s quiet for a second. The mattress shifts and I can feel him leaning closer to me, feel the heat coming off his body. His lips are dangerously close to my ear.

“Want something else to write about?”

Oh my fucking god.

I nod before I finish registering what he said. His free hand moves to my cheek, tilting my face towards him, and my skin explodes with sparks where he touches me. 

Our lips brush.

We both freeze.

Flood gates open. Countless vivid images and feelings and scenarios flash across my mind. It was like watching a movie connecting every fic I’ve written. I gasp-laugh a little, and he does the same. It seems like the visions or whatever that he’s seeing are a lot more intense than mine. His eyes flutter open and he looks at me stronger, more intensely, more passionately than he had before. He lets out a soft, breathy laugh, and presses his lips to mine. Everywhere he touches feels carbonated, and I’m trying not to smile too much. I don’t think I’ve ever been more in the moment than right this second. He pulls me closer, tilting his head and deepening the kiss. I didn’t know a kiss could be deeper than it had been a few seconds ago. His mouth moves feverishly against mine. My arms move up on instinct, one hand playing with his hair, the other tracing the collar of his shirt. He shifts his weight, and one hand on my waist, lowers me back onto my bed. His left hand intertwines with my right, and I smile, remembering what I had told Eros earlier. 

“Estrella,” He groans into my mouth, our teeth scraping as we smile in spite of ourselves, and I get the sense the nickname was an ‘as you wish’ type of thing, from the Princess Bride. It feels like he’s saying I love you. My heart speeds up as he nuzzles into my neck, pressing kisses and little bites into my skin. I think about the nickname I always thought would suit him, the one I kept writing down over and over. Now or never.

“Sparky…” I smile, hiding my face in his hair. He freezes for a second, then lets out that breathy laugh again, his face in my neck. His lips graze my collarbone, and he starts to say something, but the door opens suddenly, and we jump apart. It doesn’t help much though, because he’s still hovering over me on all fours and we both look very flushed. And I’m pretty sure the start of a hickey is forming on my neck. 

“Right,” she replies, “we gotta get going, the door is closing soon, so come down stairs as soon as you’re… free.” 

“Sorry!” Annabeth yells, averting her eyes. Leo and I stumble over each other’s flustered responses.

“-looks bad but nothing… happened… we d- we didn’t like, do anything...” I trail off. 

The door closes.

“I’m coming with you guys?” I breathe. He looks over at me, that unflappable sense of playfulness present as ever. 

Leo sits back, scratching the back of his neck.

“Yeah, we should get back soon. Everyone else will be worried once they remember.” My heart plummets. I didn’t know you could go from feeling so incredibly euphoric to beyond miserable in about five seconds. I open my mouth to choke out a response, but before I can, he stands up and stretches a little.

“Do you wanna change before we go?” The question has such a normal tone to it, it’s a little bizarre after all the unusual things that have happened today. The bad feeling and tears at the corners of my eyes start to recede. 

“Of course you are. If you think I’m losing you again this soon you’re crazier than I am.” I let out a relieved laugh, and stand up. I look down at my monster foot slippers and sweatpants. 

“You know where to find me,” he winks before closing the door on his way out.

“Yeah, I should probably change.” He pulls me close to him, one hand comes up to the back of my neck, the other on my hip. He starts swaying us back and forth, dancing around my room.

“Well, if you need any help…” I laugh, and shove him away playfully.

I take a second to catch my breath. Oh my god. Thoughts are still racing in the back of my mind, but I don’t pay attention. I don’t have time to worry about what’s real and what’s not, I need to find the perfect demigod adventure outfit. I throw open my closet, start shuffling through dresser drawers, digging through my shoes. I don’t remember having one or two of the pieces, but after a minute, I find exactly what I’m looking for. It’s the exact outfit I’d always imagined myself in if I ever went to camp half blood. I search through my accessories, grab a bag, and hastily fill it with anything I think I’ll probably need. I turn back to my laptop, and change my blog description to on hiatus. I check my hair, flattening out the back from before, and determine I’m ready to go. 

I walk down the stairs, and everyone’s watching me. I feel like it’s prom or something, which sounds silly since I’ve got on ripped jeans and a backpack instead of a dress and clutch. Leo’s watching me with that look, the one that makes his eyes all sparkly, and he meets me at the bottom of the stairs. He puts his arm around my shoulder.

“Ready to go home, Estrella?”

I have never been more ready for anything.

[morwensteelsheen]

for the character meme: faramir and cassian

yaaaaaaas thank u 👑👑👑

Faramir

How I feel about this character

Oh boy. Yeah. So I see in Faramir what I wish I were — not just the good stuff like the pacificism and the intellectualism and the romanticism, but what I wish my flaws were too. It’s hard to not treat him as something of a literary patron saint of historians for all the incredible exposition work he’s given throughout the books, y’know? Like he has this incredibly historically-minded perspective on things, yet instead of taking it and behaving (as I tend to) in a sort of deeply pessimistic, confrontational, and defeatist way, he uses it to enable his (over)confidence. And I think that’s really brilliant and something I wish I could do. Yeah. God. I feel a lot of things about Faramir all the time, constantly torn between gender envy for him and normal, slightly furious envy lmao.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

lol whoops it’s just Éowyn lol. I am very much pro he and Aragorn shagging, if I don’t think too hard about it, but there are basically no other characters in the book who have forceful enough personalities to act as a countervailing force to some of his, uhhhh, Extremes, and I think Éowyn ends up being his [David Duchovny voice] human credential, which is lovely.

I guess I’m also partial to the Faramir-As-A-Sloppy-Bitch hypothesis which has him behaving like a bit of a fuckboy, but that’s not really shipping so much as character development? I guess?

My non-romantic OTP for this character

I’m buying him one of those awful one man wolfpack tshirts lmao, my dude absolutely does not have pals. I think he’s got loads of decent working relationships with people and is definitely charismatic when he wants to be, but outwith that……. lol

My unpopular opinion about this character

looooooool, I feel like the Faramir Is Not A Crybaby one is well trodden ground at this point, but one of my favourite unpopular opinions is that I think he’s, like, 15% more cynical than everybody gives him credit for. I think a lot of what he does can be construed as very obviously, uhhh, putting the moves on, I guess? Like I think he’s not making grand statements to Éowyn because he’s Magically Compelled To Do It, but because I think he absolutely 100% knows it’s stroking her ego. And I think playing one man good cop/bad cop with Sam and Frodo isn’t him rapidly changing his Take on the situation after getting new information, I think he’s very purposefully trying to unsettle their psychological defences a bit so he can get a better sense for what’s really going on and whether these two guys are going to end up handing Isildur’s Bane™ over to Sauron.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

Actually nothing super significant. I guess I think the one kid shit is nonsensical. Even without turning on dumb horny shipper brain that says 0% chance he and éowyn weren’t fucking loads, I genuinely refuse to believe that any self-respecting feudal lord would not at least go for the And A Spare, if not And Several Spares, especially if you’re Faramir and your entire family got obliterated leaving you — Man Who Was Not Meant To Hold The House Down — the sole survivor.

Beyond that Faramir gets exactly what he ought to out of LOTR (though I would have loved to have read about his misery life in the Fourth Age), and I can’t really complain? Maybe a line or two at the trothplighting in Rohan? A chat with Galadriel? idk he really did fine for canon appearances imo

Cassian

How I feel about this character

There’s no way to say this without sounding slightly unhinged, but the scene in R1 where he shoots the injured informant on the Ring of Kafrene is genuinely one of my favourite moments in all of Star Wars. It threw down the gauntlet for visceral depictions of the unfeelingness of the GFFA in a way that hadn’t really been done before. Both the OT and the PT make gestures at it (the destruction of Alderaan is a good example, as is the slightly-bungled slavery subplot in TPM), but neither really show how fucked up people can get when they’re living in a fucked up world and they never show good guys doing things that are of ambiguous morality. Cassian ends up making a (surprisingly, given it’s a Mouse™ production) sophisticated argument for how the Real World works once you get past the golden boy heroes. Yes Luke blows up the Death Star, and yes he brings Vader back to the Light — both things that are unambiguous moral goods — but the reason he’s able to do that is because there’s someone like Cassian out there taking the karmic/emotional/spiritual/whatever hit to enable the Golden Boy behaviour. And I think that’s a really beautiful, really exciting bit of narrative development for SW generally, but to also do it in the context of Cassian — who actively defends his choices? That fucking rocked. I’m bracing for impact with the new show but R1 Cassian is absolutely one of my favourite SW characters, lovely wee man.

All the people I ship romantically with this character

Literally just Jyn. Actually funnily enough he’s very much like Faramir to me in that I think if he didn’t end up with Jyn, he wouldn’t have really ended up with anyone at all. Not in a weird comphet or soulmates way, just in that I think sometimes people need a very specific kind of personality to wear down their defences and sometimes it’s a very specific kind of personality.

My non-romantic OTP for this character

Okay in a fix-it AU I like to think he and Hera would get along fabbo, but from a great distance, as I think each of them would prefer it. Otherwise, I’m sorry to say it but my guy absolutely does not have pals lmao. Cassian no mates rip

My unpopular opinion about this character

I don’t think he’s actually repentant for the fucked up shit he’s done. When he tells Jyn that he’s had to do stuff he isn’t proud of, he’s not saying that because he’s seeking absolution or a chance to do penance or whatever, he’s saying it because it’s objectively true. He has done some stuff he’s not proud of, but contextually I think it’s pretty clear he’s able to justify it to himself well enough that he’s not looking for redemption or whatever.

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon

I feel like I need to whisper this so the monkey’s paw doesn’t curl in advance of the show, but it would be genuinely very interesting to see him try to build an actual espionage network for the Rebellion. SW: Rebels touched on the notion of industrial sabotage (actually Mando did too, didn’t it?) and I think it would be especially interesting to see them try that out in a resistance/rebellion framework via Cassian. Let him do some covert ops organisation of workers to undermine Imperial production/supply lines or whatever.

Give me a character xxoo