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#so it's like they'll make comments i don't love but that are kind of on the edge where it's like. how do i adress this it's just a joke or
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i stand with you in the face of a defensive misunderstanding of what critique is.
i think understanding what a critique actually is is a skill that increasingly is not taught. i remember going through freshman art courses feeling the frustration that all negative, nasty, unhelpful, and missed-the-point-entirely feedback is so commonly conflated with critique, and then critique gets a bad name because everyone remembers the time someone said their painting looked like an asshole (true story, altho now i think i would take it as a compliment) instead of the time a teacher or friend or classmate helped them uncover a hurtful bias or think of new ways to explore the same idea or how to connect it to related ideas or how to look up and understand other people's ideas on the same topic.
anyway i think you're great.
ahhh you're so kind to me!! i appreciate your support, and i think you are great also.
i have experience with giving and receiving critique as a student myself, and i think it was the best part of my degree! i majored in creative writing in college, and critique was just a generally accepted part of learning to become a writer. i don't even remember people being especially worried about receiving critique on their work. we had guidance on what kind of feedback was useful, but we were still at liberty to give it as we saw fit as like messy 19 year olds. the standard was that we gave it both written on printed copies of the work AND aloud in front of the whole class, and the writer receiving it was not permitted to speak during the critique. understanding how people are perceiving your work is important!
i don't have any particularly negative recollections of the critique process, although once in a high school writing class, the boys in the class told me that my male characters touched each other too gently and real boys are more rough with each other. in particular, they took issue with me writing that one boy nudged another. nudging is too soft. nudging is for girls. that was more than 20 years ago, and i still think about it sometimes because it was such an interesting perspective! i did not take their advice, though.
i should dig up that piece and see if it reads queer in any other ways. i think that's what they were getting at. (actually i once had a non-fiction class tell me i was in love with my roommate after reading an essay i wrote about her)(i did not listen to that advice either, but having 12 acquaintances tell you that you're gay in 2006 before you realize it yourself is Truly Something!)
i think people have conflated criticism and critique and think that being more openly analytical is the same thing as being negative. but analysis is so fun to me! analysis is why i joined fandom in the first place, and it's why i write fic! can we trust each other to be respectful and to speak in good faith even when we're not singing each other's praises? for me fandom would be better if we could.
oh i also want to clarify that i don't think it's impossible to demonstrate that you've thought deeply about a piece of fanwork while remaining completely positive. people do it all the time and do it very well!
i know i sometimes have tunnel vision wrt my own perspective. in a lot of situations, i wish it were more acceptable to be more direct, and i know people sometimes find the way i express myself to be kind of shocking. i know a lot of people like to be spoken to more indirectly than comes natural to me, and i don't mean to imply that my perspective is the only correct one or that there's no good reason to err on the side of gentleness/politeness in our responses to amateur art and writing. i just think that at a certain level of circumspection, it feels like we're all holding each other at arm's length.
i think for people who can't bear to feel exposed, making and sharing art is always going to be painful and difficult, and maybe too painful and difficult to enjoy the process unless they're sure of a soft landing. but like. the rewards of being loved only come after the mortifying ordeal of being known, right?
#ten years ago i had a comment section diagnose me with autism and they were RIGHT. and they loved me!!!!#my portfolio advisor told me that my main character was having a mental breakdown and it made all the people around her seem Villainous#for how selfishly they treated her#and i didn't realize that things seemed so dire for her but i needed to know that in order to make the story make sense!#it wasn't a mean thing to say it was just pointing out something i couldn't see! ik it was different because it was a draft tho#'looks like an asshole' makes me desperately want to see that painting#i didn't know that you're also a visual artist and i'm longing to see your work#there's this movie called igby goes down#where someone tells the main character that they're an artist and he says so do you paint?#and the character responds an artist creates art regardless of what form it takes#and i think the audience is meant to consider that character unbearably pretentious but i totally agree#it has also just occurred to me that some people are nervous about commenting on other people's work#to the extent that they're afraid they'll commit some kind of unintentional faux pas or just leave a disappointing comment#and i get that because you're also kind of sharing yourself by leaving feedback#and you don't want to offend or hurt someone who's created something that resonated with you#idk i guess stepping on people's toes is just a normal part of interacting with them#and almost never fatal
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thedreadvampy · 2 years
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the desperate urge to compliment someone online I think is super gorgeous and absolute Butch Goals Vs the utter terror of coming across creepy or making them feel surveilled or voyeured about: FIGHT
#red said#this is why I'm so bad at flirting. bc before i initiate contact with ANYONE I have to go through a 6 month panic period#where i run through scripts in my head and worry about coming off as weird or creepy or parasocial#and the longer that goes on the more sure i am that if i speak to them they will immediately know that bc of this anxiety#i have spent thinking about them. not bc I'm obsessed with them but bc i am concerned about how weird it might make them feel#and then I'm also like WOW NARCISSISTIC OF YOU TO THINK THEY'LL EVEN NOTICE YOUR COMMENT#LET ALONE CARE#god you are truly the WORST what an AWFUL way to think why can't you just be NORMAL#and the whole time the 'creepy' thing i wanted to say in the first place was like#'you're really cool' or 'i love your jacket' or 'i hope you're ok'#it isn't just attraction stuff either. i have invited a friend from work out for a drink ONCE in my life.#and it took a year AND only happened bc she was upset after a conflict at work so i could tell she needed to vent#like I'm SO BAD at this bc large or small any kind of initiating contact is like#wow ok so YOU THINK. YOU HAVE A RIGHT TO THEIR TIME. YOU'RE GOING TO PUT THEM ON THE SPOT LIKE THAT.#and it's so ANNOYING cause it's like. my dude. nobody thinks that about you. you have friends. most people like compliments.#and anyway when i do give compliments it's always in the most casual way possible bc of these anxieties#i don't ever want anyone to feel like. trapped by my regard.#but it's so dumb it's literally the tiniest smallest things#it's why I've always been bad at making friends online. i just silently follow people's blogs and like things.#i have also been known to do the IRL version of that. hovering near the edge of people's groups trying to like. mentally project regard.#which GUESS WHAT!!! comes off way creepier than just saying hey man you look amazing i love your whole vibe#AAAAAAAAAA#(davide this is also why i followed your blog so hard for like 500 years but got very afraid of ever acknowledging you might know who i am)
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elytrafemme · 1 year
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tl;dr a recount of my adventures today with my very affectionate friends/partner
so this morning while we were listening to a presentation i held out my hand for my girlfriend to hold and she held it and alternated also holding onto my entire arm itself, laying her head on my shoulder, et cetera. walked with her and my other friend to our next class where i received several hugs from both, also cool with me i’m very huggable and it’s an easy thing to do. i go to my next class and one of my friends sits beside me and holds my hand/arm, and i’m good with this because i’m steadily learning how to navigate things with my non dominant hand only since my friends hold my other one hostage a lot. then he asked if i was down for hugs and i was like sure! we’re sitting in chairs though. he ends up scooting his chair over and holding me, nearly back to front, while sitting for twenty minutes. now this is fine too, i can still move for the most part, but for those who have been spooned before sometimes the positioning can fuck up your back, and i already have some general shoulder pain throughout my life. so now my back and all kind of hurts and i get a reprieve next block and end up getting depressed anyway so the next block i have one of my other friends and she hugs me a lot too cool whatever and then the NEXT block it’s an alternation between one of the earlier mentioned friends hugging me, my girlfriend holding my hand/arm or asking me to play with her hair, her just holding me in general in her lap (like head in her lap half suspended in air and to her balance’s mercy) and my other friend there did this too. also during this block my girlfriend bit my arm (like gnawed on it moreso) and this is the second time someone’s done that (other person being the other friend there, while my girlfriend was cuddling me on another occasion) and then from there both my friend and girlfriend kept biting my arm and it wasn’t really painful it just kinda pinched but like whatever you know i’ve got a job here. anyway more hugs then we left and then after school club happens and me and one of my earlier friends but different from the aforementioned one kept hugging me, having me sit in her lap vise versa, also accidentally tumbled together to the floor, and she ended up causing me to hit my knee badly but like that’s fine whatever feels normal now. 
anyway, being the teddy bear of the friend group is a difficult task but if this (various pains in my back and neck) is what it takes to feel necessary then by God i’ll do it ^_^
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gideonisms · 2 years
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my fear of roaches is so severe now....yes I CAN grab them with a paper towel and throw them outside without breaking a sweat and yes I AM the bug catcher in most of my living situations but I'm dying inside and if a hot girl WANTED to fall in love with me and catch them for me from now on I would Not say no
#:/#my heart rate is still coming down. i'm at my aunt's so i don't have my tent so i'm just 🤢🤢😱💀#everyone else thinks i should squish them but the sound ...no. urhghgghhhh#well and also i have a thing about unsavory awful disgusting forms of life and how you know. we are all that to someone or something and#who am i really to kill things unnecessarily for walking in the wrong place#sometimes you have to like at my apartment it had to be a battle ground bc it was them or me but u know.#off the point off the point#i have to leave this state this country this universe this galaxy. goodbye#i simply cannot be here under these conditions (saw scary bug)!!! and i'm not happy!!!#also having weird feelings abt time with my family that i chose like it wasn't mandatory for me to be here and i did want to hang out#but i'm just feeling distant & off bc i'm so different than them ig? and my beliefs clash so much and it feels bad not to say anything#but i just can't think of anything to say that would be constructive sometimes#so it's like they'll make comments i don't love but that are kind of on the edge where it's like. how do i adress this it's just a joke or#like sometimes it's not but it's something so deeply tied to their whole belief system that like idek where to start bc#i don't really want them to change their religion etc. that's something they want for me and it sucks so i'd never expect that from others#because it sucks!#but yeah when i spend time away from them it's kinda like wow y'all are the people i love and i'm not sure how i feel about that#anyway. hm. getting weird after 2 am perhaps it's time to admit defeat petition whatever deity controls roaches for some peace & go to sleep
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mrpenguinpants · 5 months
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See you, space cowboy
— Parting words at the end of the day.
— Jing Yuan, Blade, Dan Heng, Imbibitor Lunae, Dr. Ratio + Luocha
[Masterlist]
The title is from Cowboy Bebop. I used their "Parting" voice lines if anyone was curious. Ignore how I'm using a Kafka gif for a fic with only men. I promise this is still a "genshin" blog.
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Jing Yuan
"Mmm, rest well... My apologies. There is still some work to be done and I can't see you out personally."
You blink at him before you narrow your eyes and give him a judging stare. Your fingers reach out to curl around the sleeve of his uniform, giving it a small tug that he willingly steps into despite his earlier words. He doesn't try to hide the amusement in his eyes, even letting out a soft chuckle that makes your lips downturn into a frown. Jing Yuan reaches up, smoothing the crease between your eyebrows before resting on your cheek.
"It's obvious that you're tired. You should rest for a little bit more before you go back to work," you lightly scold as you give another weak tug for him to return to your shared home. Another chuckle escapes him as he places his other hand on your shoulder, rubbing soothing circles through the fabric for a few seconds to attempt to appease you. "It's been a while since we've shared a meal together..."
Jing Yuan's eyes soften yet he politely removes your hand attached to his sleeve. This time he avoids your gaze, the disappointment flowing heavy in the air, when he shakes his head and steps back.
"Next time, I promise," he whispers, squeezing your hand to hopefully convey his sincerity. "I'll take a day off as well. I heard that our Trailblazer friend has restored Aurum Alley back to its former glory. I'm sure Yanqing would love to join us as well."
You seem to mull over it in your head. To trade one night for a full day is tempting, plus Yanqing has been running himself ragged given the recent events. It would be nice to have a break where it can just be the three of you without any military or political weight hovering above you.
"...fine. But if you break your promise, I'll sic Mimi on you," you pout at him, twisting your hand from his grip to poke him in the chest.
"I...shall plan accordingly then," he laughs awkwardly because he knows you will follow through with that threat. He still has the scratch marks on the walls as proof. Playful or not, Mimi is unfortunately an overly heavy lion.
Blade
"Go. When the mara strikes, you don't want to be next to me."
"Is that what you say to everyone who tries to help you?" you huff as you carefully bandage his wounds, the white bandages seeping red slowly as you wind them around his torso. Despite the sarcasm dripping from your tone, he can tell you're genuinely angry with him this time. If it were anyone else, he would shake them off to leave, but when you look like you're two breaths away from bursting into tears, so he can only take a deep breath and let you bandage him up.
"They'll heal. They always do," he says after a moment of silence. Alas, his attempt at comfort does nothing but make you more stressed. He winces slightly when you pull too tightly on the bandage, the gauze scrapping against his gash that's already stitching itself together again.
"I know, so shut up already," you spit in an attempt to save face, and he decides to offer a bit of kindness by not commenting on it, "I'm not doing this for you."
He knows. You used to be an ordinary medic before the Stelleron Hunters recruited you, and you incidentally had to switch careers to something more violent. But old habits die hard, and this small bit of control helps to ease your worries. Even if it's only by a small margin. Your weakened hold lets the bandages fall into a heap on your lap as your shoulder shag. You press your forehead against his shoulder just slightly above where his wound is already rapidly healing into another scar.
"Can't you be more careful?" you sigh into his shoulder, a smear of red on your cheek that you both ignore. Blood will wash out.
"I'm sorry," he replies. He won't lie to you and say that he'll try. For as much as the mara controls him and his emotions, he wills them away for a few seconds.
Dan Heng
"Time to turn in already…? Thanks for the reminder. It's easy to lose track of time in the archives — before you know it, a whole day's gone by… See you tomorrow."
You have to stifle your laugh lest you make Dan Heng more embarrassed that he kicks you out of the room to save some dignity. Even though he says all that, he hasn't once lessened his hold on you for you to actually get up and leave. If anything, his arms around your waist tighten so you're practically molded into his chest. To be fair, you had lost track of time as well. After the recent adventures and running everywhere, it felt nice to settle into Dan Heng's lap and waste a day away in the archives, just basking in each other's presence. No crazy hunter trying to stab Dan Heng or overactive mara-struck enemies attempting to decapitate you. Just the hum of the machines and the warmth of company that neither of you are ready to leave so soon.
"You know...technically it's already "tomorrow" since it's 2am. We could just stay here," you muse as you tilt your head up to look at his unimpressed expression. The longer the two of you stay up, the worse the rest of the day will be from the lack of sleep. Plus it's not healthy to stay up to reset a sleep schedule.
"You know we can't do that. Besides, you might be comfortable but this shelf has been digging into my back for the past few hours," he sighs, shifting his body to prove a point further.
"10 more minutes," you bargain.
"2," he denies flatly.
"5?" you try again.
"2." He stares you at with a frown.
"3!" You stare right back with a cheeky grin.
"...fine."
He hides the fond smile into your hair as you cheer on gaining a single minute.
Dan Heng • Imbibitor Lunae
"It's getting late, I won't be staying up much longer. Sleep well."
You have to stifle your amusement less you make Dan Heng recede even further into his shell, but you can't help but think it's kind of cute how awkward this dragon can be sometimes. The way he stands so stiffly and not at all relaxed for sleep, how his eyes are staring at anything but you who is standing right in front of him, coupled with the uneasy way he says for you to "sleep well.". As if he's questioning if it's okay for him to say something so casually despite all the time you've spent in each other's company. Dragon horns or not.
"Much longer...huh. And pray tell, how many minutes does that equate to again? It's kinda hard to tell when I'm talking to an infinite respawn glitch," you tease, lightly punching him in the shoulder makes Dan Heng crack a tiny smile. You mentally pat yourself on the back for that little win. Ever since the Astral Express concluded its journey on the Xianzhou, the new dragon had been walking on eggshells around everyone.
"You're talking too much to that hacker girl. That's not how the vidyadhara reincarnation works either," he sighs but the tension is gone from his shoulders. If you're able to joke about it then you're not mad at him lying about his origins, even though you haven't been in the first place. "But I will return to the Archives with the system hour."
You spare a glance at the clock. It'll be midnight in another 20 minutes. Has it really gotten that late so quickly?
"Alright, but if I check the data bank and there are new entries, I'm kicking your door open mister," you place your hands on your hips as you gesture two V-sign fingers at your own eyes, then at him. "Good night Dan Heng. See you in the morning.".
Dr. Ratio
"Another day has passed. If your problem still hasn't been solved, is it possible that the problem is you?"
He tilts his head to the side gracefully as you hurl your pen at him. The cheap plastic breaks on impact and leaves a smear of ink that you'll have to clean up unless you want another stain for Dr. Ratio to insult you for. Perhaps you can use his name as a tax write-off? It's the least he could do for you with how much attitude you put up with.
"What if my problem is you? If you didn't dodge then I wouldn't have to waste so many precious pens," you counter as you reach for the white cloth hanging from his waist to use to mop up the ink. One that has Ratio slapping your hand away with his stone booklet. He even dares to wipe at it with a handkerchief, as if touching your skin is equivalent to touching trash, rather than offering it to you!
"Ow! Geez, you really don't hold back. I wasn't going to actually use your clothing!" you fake sob as you nurse your poor hand close to your chest. It doesn't hurt as badly as you're making it out to be. You've seen Veritas throw chalk at his enemies and leave chalk-sized holes in them. "Besides, it's not like I can do anything about my "problems". [ Rahu ] isn't the easiest place to investigate..."
Your body slumps in as you think back on how little progress you've made with that strange planet. Diamond has been kind enough to not assign a deadline but you can feel the quiet disappointment every time you report that you don't have anything new to share each month. Maybe Veritas is right. Maybe the problem is you.
"Which is why you've been given the role. The numbers written on a stats page or monthly reports do not measure the trial and error of someone's pursuit of knowledge. Very few scholars I know would be capable of continuing for the sole purpose of finding the truth. Surely you're capable of seeing that? Unless I've severely underestimated your intelligence," Veritas states as if it were a fact. He reaches to take your hand, giving it a once over to see if he has truly hurt you. His words bring a small smile as your heart swells at his encouragement as you squeeze his hand back.
Luocha
"Have an early rest. I'll keep watch here."
It's the last thing you hear before your eyelids droop close and sleep takes you under. Your body slumps against Luocha's side, his hands already out and ready to catch you, before he gently maneuvers you so your head rests in his lap. He hums humourlessly as he combs through the strands of your hair, a bit of dirt clinging onto the ends. He'll have to tend to that later.
"I wonder what someone like you dreams of," he contemplates although he doesn't expect an answer. Your face is the picture of serenity as your chest rises up and down slowly with each breath, completely dead to the world. You're far too trusting of him, even his first meeting on friendly terms with Dan Heng hadn't made that man lower his guard. Sure, they had been on the same team but Dan Heng would constantly look behind him as if he was waiting to get stabbed in the back by Luocha's sword. Yet here you are, fast asleep in his lap and entirely defenseless.
A loud buzzing sounds from your pocket that Luocha reaches for to check, you're not going to be awake to answer it anyway.
"What considerate companions you have," he muses as Dan Heng's caller ID flashes on your phone before his call gets sent to voicemail. It's truly a blessing that all phones operate under the same system programming as he holds down the power button, effectively shutting the phone and other potential distractions silent. Under the artificial night light, when it's just the two of you here, no one can see the secret smile on his lips. Nor the possessive hold he has on you.
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nian-7 · 1 month
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CRUSH, CRUSH, CRUSH!
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In which they have a crush on you.
Various HSR x gn!reader
-> fluff, bonus w/ luka cause he's cute, blood & fighting, first time writing luka so possible ooc
a/n: i wanted to try a new layout because i see so many people who have such pretty layouts for their posts... mine have always felt very blocky and boring so i am trying out this style instead. sorry this is kinda bad, i'm trying to get back into it. this was planned to be short fics but i manage it yet.
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The Obvious Ones.
they are so obvious with their crush. everyone our them just knows they have the biggest crush on you. it's like they're not even hiding it! whether they're obvious on purpose or not, they continue to wave off the teasing from their friends and say it's just friendly! no romantic feelings are attached at all... deep down, they know they have a big crush on you and they can't help themselves!
-> March 7th, Gepard, Robin, Guinaifen, Luka
The Show Offs.
whether this is on purpose or not, they feel the need to impress you. they want you to praise them and impress you with their skills. this can be very obvious to their friends who are forced to stand by and watch as their dear friend tries their best to impress you with silly tactics that you haven't caught on to yet. they hope to woo you with their skills and hopefully one day it'll be enough to make you theirs.
-> Boothill, Yanqing, Luka, Serval
The Subtle Ones.
they are subtle with everything they do. you'll never know they have a crush on you because they are just so good at hiding it. whether their reason is because they don't want to ruin their friendship with you or because they're in denial, it doesn't matter. they might subtly flirt here and there but they usually are too friendly to pass as a flirt.
-> Jiaoqiu, Acheron, Bronya, Himeko, Jing Yuan, Feixiao, Luocha, Welt, Gallagher, Hanya, Natasha, Xueyi, Yukong
The Flirty Ones.
they flirt with you relentlessly. it's not often they find someone they truly want to pursue so why not make the most of it? they love seeing your adorably flustered expression when they throw a flirty comment your way. while you may think it's just how they are, they truly are trying to get the point across that they are in fact very in love with you.
-> Argenti, Aventurine, Black Swan, Jade, Kafka, Sampo
The Avoidant Ones.
they try to avoid you at all costs. whether it's to keep their feelings from growing more or because they don't want to hurt you, they'll keep it a secret. whenever you show up, they always are trying to find an excuse to leave as their heart aches. as much as their heart tells them to stay near you, their brain is in too much denial to accept the fact that they have a burning crush on you.
-> Blade, Jingliu, Silver Wolf, Dan Heng, Moze
The Nervous Ones.
they're so nervous around you. a blushing mess, a stuttering mess, whatever kind of mess you can think of, that's them. they can't seem to get a grip on themselves when you flash a smile and they suddenly are stumbling over their words, all nervous. it might be unlike them but they can't help it when they're so hopelessly in love with you! it's only natural that you make them nervous.
-> Firefly, Robin, Yanqing, March 7th, Sushang
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Luka -> The 'Show Off'
" Come see me at the fight club later, okay?! "
" ...Okay? "
You were a little confused to say the least, but you were never one to turn down an invitation from a friend. Especially Luka. And even when he looked so excited! Sure, it was confusing but he looked so excited so how could you turn him down?
Awkwardly, you stood within the loud crowd of people who were cheering on the fighters in the ring. Although you were too far into the crowd to see who was fighting, you relied on the announcer that you barely hear over the roar of the crowd to let you know when Luka was taking the stage.
The crowd seemed to grow louder as the fight went on and while you knew he was popular, you didn't realize the extent of his popularity until that moment. It grew hot in the crowd as they continued cheering for the fight as you were getting shoved farther away from the cage, leaving you only able to see his reddish hair flying about as he attacked his opponent.
As you heard the announcer call the match, you tried to squeeze out of the crowd to stand near one of the walls. Soon after, you saw Luka rushing out, waving at you. A tissue shoved up the side of his nose, you could see a little blood leaking onto it.
" (name)! (name)! You're here! I didn't see you in the crowd, but did you see me?! " His eyes were bright as he looked at you with anticipation, waiting for you to respond. He sort of reminded you of a puppy... And you can't lie to a puppy, right?
" ...Yeah! I saw you fighting that- " What was he fighting? You couldn't see at all... " ...In any case, you were cool! " You assured him, placing your hand on his shoulder, his face lighting up. You could feel the guilt itching at you as you lied to him. Best not to dig your grave any deeper, right?
" Alright! " He pumped his mechanical arm in the air in celebration as you turned him around, nudging him back to where he had come running from.
" I think it's time for you to go get those scrapes bandaged up though, Luka. " You let out a quiet laugh as you heard him let out an 'aw' in response.
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won4kiss · 3 months
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𖠵 . ׅ ࣪ ⌇ 𝐿OVE 𝑊INS !
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ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 𝑟ich bf! 𝒴ang 𝑗ungwon x 𝑓! reader 𝒢enre. angst &fluff. 𝓢ynopsis. in which meeting jungwon’s parents goes not very well ! 𝑤𝑐 𐙚ㅤㅤ 1429. ‎⸝⸝ not edited, shamed for not being rich?? kissing. ୭ৎ — 𝓵𝗂𝖻𝗋𝖺𝗋𝔂 ᥫ᭡
PLEASE LIKE & REBLOG ! 𓂃
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YOUR HIGHSCHOOL GRADUATION HAD BEEN A BITTERSWEET MILESTONE.
for years, you had spent countless hours studying hard, made special friends, and navigated through the ups and downs of the life of a teenage girl.
but the sweetest part of it all had been falling in love with yang jungwon.
despite growing up in opposite conditions and his status as the rich golden boy of the school, he had always treated everyone with kindness and respect.
he was charming, intelligent, kind and genuine, making it easy for you to fall head over heels in love for him. — more under cut !
the two of you had been classmates for years, and your relationship had blossomed naturally.
jungwon had been there for you through thick and thin, supporting you in ways that made you forget the fact that he had his whole entire life set up for him.
but now, with graduation behind you, the reality of your future loomed ahead, bringing challenges to your relationship.
you knew that meeting jungwon's parents was inevitable, especially now that his family expected him to take everything seriously.
they wanted to ensure he was on the right path, and that of course included approving of the person he was dating.
nervous but happy for this new step in your relationship, you agreed to meet them, hoping that your love for jungwon would be enough for them to ignore your upbringing.
the day had finally come, and you dressed in your best dress, eager to make a good impression.
jungwon picked you up in his expensive sportscar, another reminder of your different classes.
jungwon gave you a reassuring smile as you got in.
"don't worry, baby. they'll love you," he said, his voice full of confidence.
you nodded, trying your best to believe him, ignoring the sinking feeling in your stomach.
when you arrived at his family's mansion, your anxiety only grew further. the whole property of their home was overwhelming, a shining contrast to your modest upbringing.
jungwon's parents, mr. and mrs. yang, greeted you with polite smiles, but you could sense the judgment in their eyes, anyone could.
dinner was served in a lavish, polished dining room.
it was awkward and silent, the clatter of the utensils filling the air.
after awkward ice breakers and small talk, it seems that they couldn’t hold their “curiosity” back any longer.
as the meal progressed, the conversation took a turn for the worse.
mr. yang started making condescending, disrespectful remarks about your family's financial situation, each comment more hurtful than the last.
"so, y/n, what do your parents do for a living?" he asked with a thinly masked sneer.
you swallowed hard, trying to keep your composure.
"my dad works as an office worker, and my mom is a nurse," you replied, feeling the weight of their scrutiny.
mrs. yang chimed in, her tone dripping with disdain.
"how quaint. it must be difficult for you and your family, living on such modest means."
you glanced at jungwon, searching his eyes for some support, but he sat there in silence, his eyes downcast.
your heart sank, feeling a mix of hurt and betrayal, did he not hear everything they had been saying to you?
the final blow came when mr. yang laughed and said, "well, it's a good thing our jungwon won't have to worry about money with you around. we wouldn't want him to downgrade his lifestyle, would we? especially for some high school relationship.."
you couldn’t hold it back anymore, tears welled up in your eyes, but you refused to let them see you cry. you stood up, your voice shaking with every word.
"thank you for dinner, but i think i should leave."
jungwon finally looked up, evident panic in his eyes.
"no- y/n, please don't go," he pleaded, but you shook your head.
"i'm sorry, jungwon. i just- can't do this," you said, your voice breaking as you looked at him, you didn’t recognize him anymore.
without another word, you left the mansion with the sense of hurt, heartbreak and humiliation trailing behind you.
the next few days were a blur of pain and confusion.
jungwon tried calling and texting you repeatedly, but you ignored every single message and call.
you couldn't bear to face him after what had happened. you stayed in your room, crying and replaying the dinner over and over in your mind.
you had never been so humiliated in your life, jungwon had completely left you to fend for yourself, not even uttering a word as they stripped your worth after every single minute.
it was currently midnight, you listened to music as your thoughts flowed around your brain, making it impossible to get a blink of sleep.
as you laid in bed, you heard a noise at your window. startled, you sat up and saw jungwon climbing through.
"jungwon? how did you- what are you doing here?" you asked, your voice sounding cold and distant, unfamiliar to jungwon.
he looked at you with desperation in his eyes.
"i’m sorry- i needed to see you, y/n. please, let me explain."
you crossed your arms, trying to maintain your composure.
"explain what jungwon? it’s fine, we’re from two different worlds. maybe we’re just not meant to be."
jungwon felt his heart break at every single word you muttered, is this how you felt when his parents picked at every single aspect of you? he thought.
jungwon took a deep breath, his eyes filled with tears.
"i know i should have defended you. i'm so sorry for not saying anything. i was scared, and i didn't know what to do, it’s no excuse but my whole life i’ve never stuck up to my parents- for you, i went home and confronted my parents.”
“i told them how much you mean to me, and how wrong they were to treat you that way, how i want to spend the rest of my life with you, and how no amount of money or anything we have could compare to you."
you felt a pang of pain mixed with a soft fluttering in your heart.
"and what did they say?"
jungwon's voice trembled as he continued.
"my dad... he didn't take it well, but i don't care.”
“i told him that our status means nothing to me if it means losing you. i hate my family for what they said to you. i hate that i was too scared to stand up for you in the moment. but i'm done being afraid, because i love you."
your heart broke at the sight of him, tears streaming down his face. you stepped closer, noticing a cut on his lip.
"wonnie, you're hurt," you whispered, reaching out to cup his face gently.
"what happened? did they do this?"
he leaned into your touch, his eyes closing.
"i got that cut from my dad after defending you. but it doesn't matter. you're what matters to me."
before you could say anything else, jungwon leaned in and kissed you softly, his lips trembling against yours.
the kiss was filled with emotion and vulnerability, a mixture of an apology, love, and desperation.
you kissed him back, the depth of his feelings reaching you.
when you finally pulled away, you looked into his eyes, seeing the sincerity and the pain in there.
"jungwon, i... i was so hurt when you didn't say anything. but seeing you here, knowing what you went through for me... it’ll take a while for me to completely forget about it but i can't stay mad at you."
he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close.
"i love you, y/n. i'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, i’ll always stand up for you from now on. i promise."
you held him tightly, feeling the warmth of his embrace.
"i love you too, jungwon. we'll get through this together, don’t carry this alone anymore."
he pressed a kiss to your forehead, his eyes filled with adoration. "i promise i won’t, no matter what. you're my everything."
you looked up at him, your heart swelling with love. "and you're mine."
as the stars twinkled in the night sky, the moonlight reflecting onto the two of you, you knew that everything would be just fine.
there would be challenges ahead of you two, but with jungwon’s promises and his presence by your side, you felt ready to face them all.
and as you shared a sweet, lingering kiss under the moonlight, you knew that no matter what obstacles came your way, your love would always win.
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© won4kiss 2024
taglist open <3 @luvlyhee @sjyunnsworld @shawnyle @suneng @laylasbunbunny
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cheapshrimpysheep · 3 months
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Meaningful Kiss 3
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SUMMARY: Would they make Public Displays of Affection? If not, are they protective instead? And how do they show you how much they truly love you through their kisses?
CHARACTERS: Ruggie, Jade, Kalim, Silver, Lilia
TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader; Established Relationship, Kissing, Flirting, Slightly Suggestive (?)
WORD COUNT: An average of 390 words per character.
COMMENTS: I started writing this for the Overblot Students and because it did so well I made a second one for the Freshmen. Then, as I like to try to include all the characters, I decided to write for the ones that were missing. These were the characters with the most votes to be in the 3rd part. The rest were left for the 4th part.
I hope you enjoy 😘💋
Meaningful Kiss 4 (Cater, Trey, Floyd, Rook)
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CONTEXT: This can be seen as if you were at the beginning of the relationship, or already in an established relationship.
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PDA for Ruggie is the most casual thing in the world. Whenever you are together he will have one arm either around your shoulders or around your waist. It's like a magnet, you get closer to him and his arm automatically wraps around you. Unless you didn't want to or the situation is more serious, of course. He's the type to hug you from behind and rest his chin on your head in a way that doesn't hurt you.
From the outside and at first glance, he makes it appear as if he is simply very touchy-feely. But the unconscious truth is that he is overprotective and territorial. No one can touch what's his! He's like that with food, with his belongings and with his significant other. It's an instinct thing. This doesn't mean he's controlling, if you're fine and happy, he's fine and happy. It’s just to make sure no jerk gets too close to you.
He might get a little jealous from time to time if you're very close to Ace and Deuce, for example, but never to the point of threatening them to stay away from you. He would never date someone he doesn't trust 100%.
Most likely he will help you with your household chores and ask for your help with his. Not because he needs help, but because he wants your company. Doing these kinds of things with you puts him at ease and makes him feel loved. It also makes him imagine what your life would be like together in a little house, but that's a conversation for another time.
When you're alone, he's still very into hugging you and being close to you, but in a more relaxed and lazy way. He likes to mess with you. You'll probably have a few tickle battles here and there.
In public, his kisses on your cheeks range from soft to playfully passionate. On the lips they always remain soft and casual.
Of course, the most meaningful kisses will be those in private, where his instinct doesn't encourage you to be protective. When you're relaxing together, he won't let go of you. He's the big spoon type. He will gently kiss your cheeks, ears and neck. And on the lips, they'll start out soft too, but if you let him get into the mood, they can become as possessive as the instinct he's trying to control.
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Jade is not exactly the PDA type. A nice way of saying that it embarrasses him. He doesn't like to attract much attention and likes to maintain a low profile. So he won't initiate PDA and will appreciate it if you don't either. However, what he doesn't do physically, he makes up for verbally.
He may not be the type to hug you in public, but he is definitely the type to say something in public just to see you blushing and flattered in front of others. However, he does this discreetly. So that people usually only see your reaction without understanding very well what led you to that. He loves messing with you to see how your reactions can surprise him.
He will say things in your ear as if it were something casual. Or saying things out loud, but using words and phrases with double meanings, as a way of camouflaging what he really means or misleading the person, but affecting you in the process. Like a comment that to others seems innocent, but you know from something that happened between the two of you that he was referring to something else.
Even though he's not a fan of PDA, he sees no harm in kissing you hello and goodbye. A delicate and courteous kiss.
In private, he already appreciates the simple fact that you are keeping him company while he does some solo activity like taking care of his terrariums. However, despite the appearance he wants to give as a relatively peaceful person, inside, he is as much a lover of chaos as his twin brother. But in his case, he is the arsonist, not the fire.
In the same way that he likes to provoke you in public, he can be a thousand times worse in private, not holding back with his words and being more sincere since there are no "witnesses". In public he's just a little playful, but in private, what he loves most is discovering how far he can go, how far you can hold back. He loves to push your limits. Not in a bad way, of course.
And it's at these times, when he manages to pull that string that incites you to fight back in kind, that eventually, after a little more mutual incitement, he will return the kiss you initiate with his most meaningful one. That dangerously mischievous and provocative feeling. He loves to play with you.
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But of course Kalim is an innocent PDA fan! What does Jamil mean by holding back and being discreet? He loves you! Why would love be something you should hide? He shows how much he likes and cares about someone, whether they are friends or family, to everyone. The same would be no different with you. In fact, you are the one who deserves the most for him to show you his love.
He will hug you and stay close to you ANY chance he gets. Whenever he sees you, he will stop whatever he is doing to run up to you and hug you. Whenever you see him and say hello, you'll see his smile widen and... him running up to you to hug you. He's more of a hugger than a kisser, at least in public. He will shower you with gifts, expensive, cheap, extravagant, simple, small, big, whatever you love. Unintentionally, causing envy in those around you.
He is 0% jealous, probably because he is also naive. This can also cause him to not be very protective, as he never sees the bad in others. In these cases, Jamil is the one who protects you if necessary, in the same way he does with Kalim. And, most likely, you are the one who will have to protect Kalim instead.
He's a people person, so it's rare that you're alone together. He likes parties and being with as many people as possible. The difference with you is that he never leaves you and if he wants to go talk to someone he will take you with him.
This also means that his most meaningful kisses, unlike most, are not necessarily the ones he gives you in private. He may be a person who likes to hug others in general when he is happy. But the kisses he gives you on your lips when he's excited, especially if he's in a celebratory mood, are the most passionate and loving you can receive from him.
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Silver is pretty neutral to PDA. He doesn't initiate it, but he also has no problem reciprocating if you initiate it. The thing is, he's a very clueless person, so unless you clearly express in words that you want a hug, or a kiss, or just hold hands, he won't know.
On the other hand, if you decide with him, for example, that whenever you meet for the first time in the day he has to give you a kiss, he will give you that sweet smile of his and accept your request. He will follow this order to the letter and never miss a day or think twice about doing it.
He is not jealous, but he is quite protective. Since his actions do not reveal your relationship, people who don't know you at that level end up not even suspecting that you're together. His naivety and poker face only consolidate this.
And then two things can happen: in the best case scenario, he ends up casually revealing that you are dating, for example, if someone talks about a certain place, he comments "Yes, we went there on our last date." In the worst case scenario, someone tries to "woo" you and he suddenly takes over as your guard, surprising and probably even scaring the other person with his defensive posture, either placing himself between you and the other person, or stretching an arm in front of you, with his back to you. But the scariest thing will be discovering that that poker face can also transform into a threatening look.
As he doesn't express himself much, his kisses also end up being rare. Which makes them not only more special, but also makes him not having a more meaningful kiss, because the simple fact that he kisses you already is the most meaningful thing he will ever do.
All his kisses are soft, sweet and delicate, both the ones he occasionally gives you on your cheek and the ones he gives you on your lips. That kind of kiss that makes you feel like you're the most precious thing in the world and that makes you forget everything that's around you. Like those true love kisses in fairy tales when the prince wakes up the princess.
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Lilia is 100% into PDA! He likes to surprise others and he always manages to do so when he is with you. Not only can he surprise others with spontaneous PDA, he can make you blush in seconds. It's like killing two birds with one stone, metaphorically of course.
He's the type to come up behind you and hug you, putting his arms around your shoulders. And if you're taller than him, no problem, he floats. He's also the type who would take advantage of these moments to say something in your ear that would make you blush.
There's a good chance he'll also play the following game with you: appearing upside down, giving you a kiss on the cheek and disappearing when you look. And repeat this 3 or 4 times until he finally reveals himself in front of you and gives you a quick kiss on the lips. (spider-man style)
He is protective in his own way. If he can, he will train you like he trained Silver and Sebek. If not, he will teach you what he can and what you can handle, so that you can defend yourself. He doesn't give the fish, he teaches the person how to fish. If there is a type of person he likes and admires, it is a strong and independent one.
However, he is aware that no matter how much he trains you, you will always be at a disadvantage to someone who uses magic. And if you are a female, you will be most of the time, if not always at a disadvantage to a male. In these cases, he doesn't mind "fishing himself”, he even enjoys doing it. He will protect you the same way he would protect the Draconia family, Silver, and any other loved one.
In public he is just playful, and his displays of affection too. He likes others to see him as cute because he knows how it gives him an advantage. Not only is it a form of pretty privilege, it's also a way for enemies to look down on him and thus let their guard down.
In private however, he cannot deceive you. You know that that cute side is a true side of him, but you also know that it's not the only side of him and that he's not as "innocent" and "harmless" as he likes to make it seem.
And his most meaningful kisses demonstrate this. They happen when he has that mischievous look in his eyes. When he takes off his “sheep’s clothes” and shows his real “wolf snout”. When he confidently approaches you with a naughty smile, and you're reminded how vivid the red in his eyes is. His kiss is elegant but dominant, almost like... a vampire perhaps?
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If you would like to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
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cy-cyborg · 3 months
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It's been confirmed that there are 3 amputees in the main cast of Dragon Age: the veilguard - Neve (leg amputee), Bellara (arm amputee) and your inquisitor (arm amputee). So as an amputee myself, here are some things I'd like to see.
Note: these aren't predictions, just things I'd really like to be included.
The inquisitor doesn't use a prosthetic (I already talked about this in its own post but with 3 amputees, and 2 of them already being shown to use prosthetics that, lets be honest, do look like "perfect replacement" prosthetics, it would be nice to see at least one who doesn't)
We will get to customise our inquisitor in chatacter creation, so I would love, if they do use a prosthetic, for there to be some customisability to it (im not holding my breath there but still).
Neve and Bellara's prosthetics aren't perfect prosthetics, and they are actually acknowledged as being disabled while still being active members of your party.
There's some kind of party banter between Neve and Bellara about some of the downsides/problems with their prosthetics, not necessarily in a "poor them" way, but in a "ugh, don't you just hate it when you can't get the stupid thing on in the morning" kind of way.
I get a kind of jokey/adventurous vibe from Bellara, I hope they aren't affraid to let her use her prosthetic for pranks or jokes. I don't think neve would, but I can see bellara having a blast with it.
I hope the prosthetics come off during down time. No amputee wears their prosthetics 24/7, it's uncomfortable, and they get heavy and sore after using them all day.
I hope we see Neve express some frustration or see her alter her walk animation on rough terrain. It's hard to get a clear look because the trailers she's been shown in are so dark, but her foot doesn't look articulated, which is going to change how she walks, even just a little bit.
I hope the prosthetics don't break - this is a trope I'm starting to notice more and more, where someone has a perfect prosthetic that is only not a perfect replacement when it breaks, usually for plot reasons, at which point the character in question is forced out of the action until its fixed. DA has forced companions out of your party for story reasons before (e.g. solas after you free his spirit friend and he needs to cool off) so I can see this being used for plot, and I really hope it's not.
The inquisitor, Neve and Bellara compair prosthetists (the maker of the prosthetic) and maker techniques.
I really doubt they'll do this but I'd love it if random NPC's approach you if you have any of the amputees in your party to ask what happened and/or make weird comments at them ("but cy, that would be so annoying and inconvenient!" That's the point. So many people do that to irl amputees, and it's never at a convenient or even safe time, and I've never seen it happen in media. A game is arguably the best place to have it happen, in, say, a random event similar to the ones that could happen in origins)
In that same vein, I'd love to see a scene where someone approaches the inquisitor to call them an inspiration- you and the inquisitor assume it's for, you know, beating corripheus (I know I spelled it wrong lol) and saving the world, but it's revealed the chatacter has no idea who the hell the inquisitor is and just means it's inspiring that they're out in public "like that" - referring to their arm. This also happens to me all the time, and you can't tell me some snooty orlesean or tevinter noble wouldn't make those back-handed compliments, lol. You also can't convince me that any version of the inquisitor would just accept that
I hope none of the chatacters are used as inspiration porn ("don't you worry Rook! I can still pull my own weight on the team despite being an amputee, you just have to give me a chance to prove myself!")
At least one of the chatacter's stories of how they lost their limb is left untold in game (we don't always need to know how it happened if it's not relevent to the plot).
Like I said, these aren't predictions, just my hopes. I wouldn't hold my breath for any of these to be honest (bioware has not been the best in term of disability rep in the past) but A lot of them wouldn't be hard to implement and could take the representation from hardly even acknowledging their disability to something actually pretty decent disability rep-wise. It's also pretty rare to have so many characters with the same kind of disability in the cast of such a mainstream piece of media, and I really, really hope they do something with that because you can have a lot of fun with that.
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pyrpaw · 4 months
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How about the Mc meeting sebeks parents? I love those kinds of fics
dude-insainly real for that tbh, I especially love the whole "doting mother" ones (also, because Sebek's name (Sobek) is as Egyptian God, I gave his parents Egyptian names as well(specifically ancient Egyptian makes because they're pretty as hell) )
(contents: (name) is said to be a human... and Mrs zigvolt loves humans, Sebek is said to have gotten bullied for being only half fae as a kid
A human!
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Sebek's parents were thrilled to hear he was bringing a friend home for spring break, I mean he's never gone out of his way to make any friends... and with the fact people would talk about him being half fae. And the excitement doubled when they saw you and realized you were human! Do you know how much character development for him that is?
On the other hand, you were silently freaking out about going to meet Sebek's parents, because if it took Sebek that long to warm up to you, what about his parents?! You're sure they'll hate you.
But, once you both stepped foot into Sebek's home, you were immediately bombarded by a very tall fae with long green hair. "Ahh! A human!" The woman who you can only assume is Sebek's mother exclaimed as she grabbed your hands. "a-ah! Mother-" Sebek exclaimed with embarrassment littering his face. The woman started pinching your cheeks lightly as she smiled and spoke to you. "what's your name dear? are you good friends with Sebek? he isn't being mean to you is he?" She asked as she kept squishing your cheeks, while you nervously spoke up.
"uhm-i'm (name) Mrs Zigvolt, yes we are good friends-.. uh-no he's not being mean" You mumbled out as best you could with her squishing your cheeks. "oh! Please just call me Mutemwia, and this is my husband Rameses" She happily said and motioned over to her husband who was standing behind her with a polite wave and smile. "ah~ I'm so happy Sebek brought back a human!" Mutemwia exclaimed as she cupped her cheeks. Her husband came up behind her and put a hand on her shoulder. "now, don't frighten them too much darling" He chuckled as Mutemwia's eyes widened slightly. "right! human manners" She smiled and looked back at you with a much calmer expression.
"I do hope you'll enjoy your stay, I'm sure Sebek will gladly show you around Briar valley" She spoke, much calmer, and right as Sebek was going to make a comment about "a human in Briar valley", his mother quickly looked at him with a stern gaze which made him immediately shut up. ".... fine" He mumbled and crossed his arms, pouting like a child. Mutemwia was clearly not happy with his response and the two started bickering, Mutemwia claiming he was being rude and Sebek trying to defend himself.
As you silently watched the two bicker,Rameses came up and put a hand on your shoulder. "Don't worry, they're always like this... Sebek is just like his mother" He chuckled, causing a small smile to adorn your face. Rameses looked at you with a caring expression and spoke. "... It's nice to see Sebek bringing back a human, he seems to talk about you quite a bit" He smiled, which apparently Sebek overheard and jolted his head over quickly with flushed cheeks. "Dad!" He whined in embarrassment, before going back to bickering with his mother once he scolded him to not disrespect his father.
... well.... your spring break is looking pretty fun already
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uravitypng · 7 months
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I loved it!!
But what would Bully!Tsukishima would do if his beloved starts dating someone that isn’t him.
I feel like he’d destroy the guy and then go claim her saying shit like “you’re fucking mine understand?”
I love Tsuki and I love Bully!Tsuki
~ Anon ❄️
-( i'm glad you loved it!! <33 i love him so much too! i had a dream about him last night asdfghjk ) (i had to put this under a cut because it is slightly longer than all my other parts)
i think tsukishima would say he had nothing to do with it, even though you both know the truth. i think he'd be like, "i don't know what happened but whatever did happen to him was his own fault"
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it would be very rare for you to actively pursue someone or date someone not knowing the kind of wrath tsukishima would have towards you but recently you've just started a new relationship and it's going so well, you've never had one since starting uni and they're so nice to you. they help you study, insist on paying whenever you both visit the cafe just outside of campus before classes and wait for you outside of your classes to walk you home. they're amazing and whenever you think about them your heart flutters but it was only a matter of time until tsukishima found out.
when class ends he leaves just behind you ready to pull you somewhere quiet but instead he finds you and your partner, he sees them kiss your cheek and take your bag from you to start slinging it over his shoulder, "hey! stop doing that. i can carry it."
"i could never allow that babe. you're far to pretty to carry it," he grins and holds your hand before you both walk off.
tsukishima's jaw clenches. who the hell is holding your hand? who is kisses your cheek? complimenting you? how dare they, how dare you for thinking you could do that.
he's never even seen the guy around before, boring and dull looking, someone punching above their weight and it pisses him off however he doesn't do anything, he just watches you leave, seething. if you looked around for just a second you would realise how angry he is by his expressions that you've gotten so good at identifying since he first started terrorising you.
he doesn't do anything, at least for a few days. whenever you pass each other in corridors he'll still make sneering comments and sit behind you in classes. it still makes you tear up and cry but you hide it all from your partner.
when tsukishima realises they're still there walking you home and making you smile after a few days he knows he has to do something. he's gotten good at cornering people by now with how much he does it to you. tsukishima is tall and can be very intimidating when he wants to and right now he does want to.
he throws them against the wall and grabs hold of their collar, glaring at them. your partner is in complete shock. he knows of tsukishima, everyone does, he's popular and his friends are even more popular, all the girls like his cool demeanour and he's been playing volleyball for years even before he joined uni back when he was still just a teenager but he's never interacted with your partner before and they have no idea why he's so furious at them.
the shocked expression just pisses tsukishima off even more and he holds them tighter, not in any fear that they'll try and leave but because he can and he wants to scare them. he wants to hurt them. it's only fair for laying their hands on you.
your partner tries to sort through their thoughts to say something but tsukki won't allow for that. "you've got some nerve."
"what?" they're completely confused, having not one clue about what he's talking about.
"did you really think you could get away with touching my girl?" he spits.
"what?" they repeat themselves. "your girl? i promise you i haven't been talking to anyone. i have a girlfriend."
"your girlfriend?" he glares. "she was mine before she was yours and she'll always be mine." your partner still looks confused but then whispers your name. tsukki smirks and leans closer, "that's her. touch her again and you'll see what'll happen." he pushes them harder against the wall and then lets go, causing them to fall. he thinks about the consequences but does it anyway as he punches the side of their face, definitely leaving a heavy bruise by tomorrow morning.
that night you get a phone call after not hearing from your partner all day, you didn't have any classes so you've been studying at home, you grin as you pick up.
your partner cares about you a lot, they really do but they had no idea you knew tsukishima and you had told them you never dated in university before. your partner believes you, you'd never lie to them but obviously there is something you haven't told them about tsukishima. they want to stay with you. they want to ask you about it. they really do like you and they don't want to break up with you but then they feel the bruise on their cheek and remember the threat.
your partner stays silent and you wonder if they accidentally called you. you ask if they're okay. they start talking so quietly you have to turn the television off so you can hear them. "hi, babe. i don't really know how to say this but i think we should break up." as soon as the words left their mouth they felt immediate regret.
all the warmth left your body, "what?" you say just as quietly.
he gets a flashback of tsukishima cornering them as they kept repeating 'what'. "...yeah. let's break up." he hangs up the phone and you sit in silence crying all night.
the next day you go to and seek them out in campus, wanting to talk to them face to face. you can't just end a relationship like that, you don't even know why he broke up with you. if you've done something wrong you want to try and apologise, you want to work it out, even if them breaking up with you hurt and over the phone hurt even more, you want to try and make it work.
you see a huge bruise on his face. you gasp loudly. "are you okay? what happened?" you ask worried. all thoughts about your relationship leaving your brain just concerned about them.
"nothing happened i'm fine."
"you're not fine. it looks like you were punched."
they get frustrated, they like you a lot but you're the reason that they're ended up like this. "it's because of you that this happened."
"what?" they turn around, leaving you confused and mostly upset blaming you for something you had no control of and no knowledge of.
you walk aimlessly away, not wanting to be left next to them. you find yourself on a bench and you can't stop the tears from streaming down your face.
tsukishima fortuitously finds you while he was walking back from practise. he sees you looking down at the floor and he can tell why, your partner is now your ex. he smirks and walks up to you, before he announces himself he hides the smirk and crosses his arms. "what's wrong with you princess?"
still looking down you reply, "go away tsukishima."
"don't be like that. i just want to know what happened."
"i got dumped."
without misses a beat tsukishima responds, "it's for the best. you two don't work together. it's wrong that you were with them."
when hearing this you look up with watery eyes, still sniffling, "did you have something to do with this kei?"
you've gotten use to what his slight change of expressions and body language really mean but there wasn't any indication this time even though this might be the biggest reaction he's ever had to you before. you called him kei. he always hated when people called him nicknames growing up, only really letting yamaguchi get away with it but you, you calling him by his given name? he wants to hear you say it everyday, it sounds so beautiful coming out your mouth. what would it sound like if you were moaning his name?
he has no physical reaction at you saying his given name, staying collected, as he lies to you, "i don't know what you mean princess."
"it looked like he was punched. he has a huge bruise on his face."
"nothing to do with me. i'm sure whatever it was he deserved it though."
"i don't believe you." and you don't, the way he knew you were even dating someone in the first place is suspicious and it does seem to you that it is something tsukishima would do, punching someone, breaking up your relationship, and then not admitting to it.
tsukishima tilts up your chin making you keep eye contact with him and then squeezes your chubby cheeks, not hard enough to hurt you though. "that's fine by me princess. just know you're fucking mine."
you start crying again and you're not even sure why, maybe it's because tsukki tilted your head up so carefully or maybe it's because he called you princess. maybe it's because he said you're his. maybe it's because of him that you got dumped. maybe it's because he looks really attractive in that purple shirt he's wearing. you don't know. tsukki kisses your forehead. "i've got to go and meet kuroo but i'll see you soon alright. make sure you go inside soon, it's going to get cold and it might rain," he murmurs gently. he squeezes your chubby cheeks one more time and wipes your eyes before getting up and leaving to go meet kuroo.
you hold your hand on your cheek to where tsukki's hand was and take a deep breath to calm down. you hurry to take cover inside before it rains.
bully tsukishima masterlist
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ackermai07 · 5 months
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Hi! Could you write a one shot for Bakugo, Todoroki, and Kirishima where the class is watching a movie or something at the dorms and their crush falls asleep on them? I can see the boys getting all blushy when she unconsciously snuggles up closer to them 🥰🥰
Thank you!
ᵗʰⁱˢ ⁱˢ ˢᵒ ᵃᵈᵒʳᵒᵇᵃˡᵉ ⁱ ᶜᵃⁿᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗᵗ ᵘᵍʰʰʰʰʰ ᵃⁿʸʷᵃʸˢ ʰᵉʳᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵍᵒ ˢʷᵉᵉᵗⁱᵉ ⁱ ʰᵒᵖᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵉⁿʲᵒʸ ⁱᵗ
wearning! : pure fluff
Don't repost please!!
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"Is everyone ready?"
Mina shouted, making sure everything was set and everyone was prepared.
In short, what was happening was that tomorrow is a holiday, and after a tiring week, the girls suggested the idea of watching a movie (the kind you like), staying up late, and enjoying themselves to compensate for the positive energy lost through training and studying, and of course, everyone agreed.
𝗕𝗮𝗸𝘂𝗴𝗼𝘂 𝗞𝗮𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗶
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The surprise was how this early-to-bed, serious guy had actually agreed to this silly movie night offer, but of course, no one dared to comment on it (they didn't want to be the reason for him changing his mind).
"Tsk... why on earth did I agree to watch this stupid movie in the first place," Bakugo muttered to himself, his eyes fixed on the TV screen where the movie was playing. Truthfully, he knew the reason he was here- 𝘆𝗼𝘂.
Bakugo had always admired your confident, composed, and intelligent personality, to the point where he found himself gradually falling for you, struggling to break free from its grasp.
Another annoyed sigh escaped his lips, feigning irritation as usual, but deep down, he was genuinely happy to be sitting next to you on the couch, able to inhale your soothing scent.
It didn't take another minute before he felt a weight on his shoulder. His eyebrow raised in confusion, and when he turned his head to see, he was met with your lovely, soft face resting on his shoulder. The boy swore he could feel his heart pounding out of his chest, and for a moment, he stopped thinking, just staring at you with flushed cheeks, thankfully unnoticed in the dimmed lights.
"Oi... you," he said in his rough tone, which seemed calmer, then lightly shrugs trying to wake you up. "You'll miss the damn movie... wake up."
Meanwhile, all he got in response was a sleepy nuzzle from you, moving closer to hug his side more, enjoying the warmth emanating from him.
Poor Bakugo stopped his movements and froze in place for about a few minutes. The first to notice was Kirishima, who turned to see what was up with his friend.
"Hey Baku-bro, what's wro..."
And there Kirishima caught sight of your sleeping form next to him, a wide grin spreading across his face. Even before he spoke, Bakugo silently gestured to him, thus ensuring he stayed close to you for a longer period.
He absentmindedly played with your hair, eliciting contented hums from you, which seemed to draw the attention of the entire class towards you two. Oh, and don't worry about any commotion; once Bakugo gives them the death glare, they'll turn away without saying a word.
(half of the class has fallen asleep already, anyway).
By the end of the movie, he didn't even realize he had fallen asleep, his head resting on yours, inhaling your refreshing scent and feeling your warmth.
(This incident might actually serve as a strong incentive for him to hurry up and confess to you as soon as possible).
𝗧𝗼𝗱𝗼𝗿𝗼𝗸𝗶 𝗦𝗵𝗼𝘁𝗼
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It was known that Shoto often found himself in these kinds of nights, spending time with his friends, and with you, the love of his life.
Both of you attended the same middle school, and there were many clashes between you, but at that time, Shoto was only focused on his deep-seated hatred for his father.
Now, at U.A. High School, he found the time to develop his feelings for you, thus becoming immersed in love for you.
And there he was now, on the floor in front of the TV, covered with blankets for comfortable seating. You were sitting beside him, and oh, how difficult it was for him to focus on the movie content with you so close.
He also threw sidelong glances at you, admiring your focused face on the screen, and your slightly parted lips from concentrating so hard on the events. Honestly, he wished desperately to overwhelm your lips with kisses until you couldn't breathe (you can't really blame him).
As he was lost in his fantasies, he suddenly felt something descending onto his lap. And guess what? It was your head being placed on his lap.
The poor boy's brain stopped functioning as he tried to process what had just happened.
(He also felt like his heart stopped for a moment.)
"Y/n... y-you okay?" Shoto whispered softly to you, making sure only you could hear him, and his hand moved to brush a strand of hair away from your face, while a terrible blush spread across his cheeks.
The poor boy wasn't used to being affectionate :(
"Very... sleepy," was your only response as you hugged his waist and snuggled closer to his left side where warmth emanated.
Let's say he miraculously managed to control his quirk so as not to accidentally hurt you.
Meanwhile, the boy's heart swelled with emotions, and he found himself gently stroking your hair, a small smile adorning his handsome face.
And as soon as the movie ended, he carried you bridal-style and took you to your room under Momo's guidance, making sure not to wake you up at all.
On the other hand, he couldn't sleep a wink that night, but be prepared to receive the most beautiful confession in your life soon.
Bonus points: His desire to kiss you became unbearable.
𝗞𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗺𝗮 𝗘𝗶𝗷𝗶𝗿𝘂𝗼
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He was one of the biggest supporters of the idea, especially since you were the one who suggested it, so of course he would always support your opinion.
He always did, seeing you as a fun person who radiated warmth like the sun, an optimistic personality he fell for boundlessly.
You were always a source of inspiration for him with your positive energy, encouraging him and praising his perseverance, and in return, he gave you the brightest smile.
His friends somehow learned about his secret admiration for you (Mina was the reason... ahem)
and they always tried to involve you both more to bring you closer together.
This event was no different as they made sure you two were close to each other, leaving the couch for you to sit on together.
(Kaminari was included to sit next to Kirishima just to make it less suspicious.)
Now, in the middle of the movie, just like Shoto, he couldn't focus at all.
He was just captivated by the little sounds you made whenever an exciting scene came up or your eyes sparkled with interest at what was shown on the screen in front of you.
He was literally in his own world, worshiping your facial expressions and your gentle demeanor.
But at some point, he stopped paying attention to you, replacing it with discussing the details of the movie with Kaminari. Then, in a sudden moment, he felt something land on his chest... it was your head.
The boy quickly covered his mouth to suppress the scream that was about to burst from the depths of his heart.
In contrast to the two above, he had a quick response as he gently shook your shoulder.
"Y/n, y-you awake?" His voice came out as a somewhat quiet tune, not wanting to draw attention to himself.
"Sorry... feeling sleepy... just... a little nap." After that, you held onto his arm and used his muscular chest as a pillow, drifting back to sleep.
Because of your action, his quirk activated for a few seconds, and he slapped his own face out of embarrassment and happiness he felt.
Your sudden move caught the red-haired boy off guard to the point he didn't know how to react :(
"Yes, of course... it wouldn't be manly of me to move and disturb you," he muttered to himself in embarrassment, stiffening in his position before wrapping his arm around you to pull you closer to him.
But he forgot about Kaminari, who saw everything and struggled to suppress his laughter as he ran away, catching the attention of the class, only to stare at both of you in awe and admiration.
All I can say is that by tomorrow, you'll see plenty of pictures taken of you sleeping on Kirishima, and his friends endlessly teasing him about it.
Then get ready for his confession of his feelings for you.
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ᵃⁿᵈ ʰᵉʳᵉ ʷᵉ ᵍᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ
ⁱ ʰᵒᵖᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵉⁿʲᵒʸᵉᵈ ʳᵉᵃᵈⁱⁿᵍ ᵗʰⁱˢ ᵃⁿᵈ ⁱˡˡ ᵇᵉ ᵈᵒⁱⁿᵍ ᵐᵒʳᵉ
sᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜ!
𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐄𝐧𝐝.
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cutielando · 8 months
Text
i'll take care of you | j.m.
synopsis: in which you promise to take care of him
my masterlist
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You woke up to the sound of your phone ringing. You reached our for it and when you saw who the caller was, you immediately sat up and answered it.
"Babe? What's wrong?"
JJ's heavy breath was the only thing you could hear.
"JJ? Is everything okay? What's going on?" you pressed, panic settling in your chest.
"Can I come over? I'll explain everything" his voice was so small, you could barely hear him.
"Of course you can, baby"
"I'll see you in 10 minutes" he said and hung up, not giving you a chance to say anything else.
It wasn't weird to get phone calls from JJ in the middle of the night, but he was never this distressed. Your mind started coming up with all kinds of scenarios, one worse than the other.
The 10 minute wait seemed like forever before you heard the all too familiar knock on your window.
You immediately jumped and opened it, being met with the bloody and bruised smiling face of your boyfriend.
"What happened to your face?" you asked while helping him enter your room without making too much noise to wake up your parents.
"Nothing serious, it's fine. Doesn't hurt as bad as it looks" he shrugged his shoulders and laid back on your bed.
You stood rooted in your spot, staring at him. You knew where the bruises came from all too well, but it didn't help that JJ was still trying to hide them from you.
"J, please just tell me the truth" your voice was small, knowing that JJ couldn't deal with screams and anger.
"I am, it's nothint that hasn't happened before. I'm used to it, it's fine" he was now sitting up, patting the spot next to him.
You bit your lip but complied and sat down, putting your right hand on his knee.
"I'm sorry you have to go through this, baby" tears started streaming down your cheeks by now, sobs fighting their way out of your body.
"You have nothing to be sorry for, it's just how he is. He's not always like this, you know, he has his good moments" the fact that he still tried to defend his dad, beaten to a pulp by him, brought even more tears and sadness in you.
"You don't deserve this, baby. Nobody should ever lay a finger on you, let alone a hand. You deserve so much better" you rested your head against his shoulder, squeezing his knee in comfort.
He brought a hand down to his knee and took hold of yours. You interlocked your fingers and squeezed, knowing how much JJ needed to feel you there with him.
"I have you, and that's all I need. Don't be so hard on yourself, it's not your fault" he whispered, kissing your forehead.
"Please let me take care of you. I'll talk to my parents and see if you can stay here for a while. They can even become your legal guardians until you turn 18. I know they'll do it, and you'll finally have a safe place that you could call home" the idea seemed so simple and easy for you, but it seemed like such a stretch to JJ.
"I can't ask you or your parents to do that, babe. Being a burden to your family is the last thing I want to do" he tried to reason with you, but you weren't having it.
"No, you listen to me. I am not letting you go back home, JJ. My parents love you and I know they are going to want to help you. Please don't push me away, let me help you" you were basically begging him at this point, but you didn't care.
Nobody deserved the life that he had, and you'll be damned if his father touched him one more time. You were going to do everything in your power to make sure he'd never received another punch or insult from his dad ever again.
"Okay" he finally whispered after a while, chewing on his bottom lip.
You let out a big sigh of relief you didn't know you were holding and wrapped him in your arms, silent tears falling down your face.
He buried his head in your neck, taking in your familiar scent and warm hold.
He finally felt like things could finally take a turn for the better. Like he would get a new chance at life.
All because of you.
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ariaste · 1 month
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I made a post a few days ago about how dire the hits-to-comments ratio is in this fandom and since then I have tried an experiment, got great results, and I am back to explain how we solve this problem as a community.
Several people made disheartened comments on the previous post about how consumer culture has finally made it to fandom (that is, people don't comment on fics as much any more because they're passive consumers of content rather than equal participants in fandom) but... I kind of think that part of this might be our responsibility as fic authors as well, and something that we as can do something about and take agency over. Because yeah, it's correct that commenting has gone down, but you know what I also don't see very much anymore??? People adding a note at the end of the fic saying "Comments give me life!" or "If you liked this fic, please let me know, a nice comment makes me smile all day" or "Comments keep me energized to write more, please let me know if you enjoyed this!" or "I would love to hear what you thought of this! :)"
The culture of a community is not something that people just know instinctively. It's something that has to be taught, just like manners and etiquette in any other context (you don't know the fish fork from the entree fork from the dessert fork until someone shows you, for example). The venn diagram of "the good old days of fandom when lots of people were in the habit of leaving comments" and "the bad old days when we had to humbly ask people to please comment if they liked it at the end of fics" is probably almost a circle. Yes, it's true that we are living in a society where we are being encouraged to be passive consumers of content and that this is probably leaking into fandom spaces. But the way that we start course-correct is to simply communicate clearly in public about what your needs and preferences are. Not in posts like this, because not everyone is going to see it and it will eventually disappear into the ether, and because one big essay isn't going to affect much change. Just... in small spaces where people will see it immediately when it's relevant, like in the end notes of your fic, or in the caption/description under your fanart post. It is not a bad thing to tell people that you like comments. You are not vain or arrogant for wanting engagement and appreciation for something you made out of love and enthusiasm, you are HUMAN. It is not a bad thing to communicate your needs. And oftentimes it is way more effective than you realize until you have actual data to back it up, like the data I'm looking at right now for this fic.
I made one change on the most recent chapter, and that was to put this at the end:
LISTEN TO ME REAL QUICK HERE, WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOMETHING. This fandom has the worst comments-to-hits ratios on fics that I've ever seen. That sucks. Comments are part of a healthy fandom ecosystem, and I can't tell you how many unexpected friends I've made just by telling them I liked their fic. If you don't feel like leaving a comment on this fic, that's okay with me. But you have to PROMISE that you'll leave one on the next three IWTV fics you read, ok? Give our authors some love so they'll keep writing. It'd be a really, really long hiatus until s3 without them.
Since posting this, I can only describe the state of my inbox as, "Oh, THAT'S more like it, there we go, much better!" So... try it out? Tell people that their thoughts and comments are welcome? Remind them that this is a good thing to be doing? It's not going to make everyone comment, but I bet it'll make at least a little bit of a positive difference, and the more people start doing it, the faster we'll inch ourselves back to a thriving and healthy fandom ecology. :)
Rome wasn't built in a day, and culture has to be taught, and the best and happiest kinds of communities grow when the participants are aware and intentional about it.
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altocat · 1 month
Text
FFVII FANDOM PSA
I've seen several of my mutuals being accosted by the same loser troll that's been stalking my inbox. They have a distinct way of typing and bizarre no-context fixations that make them very easy to distinguish. They will attack you over nothing. Sometimes they'll go after you over random posts you made weeks ago. And they are not afraid to get personal. I've had them literally stalk and document my active hours online so that they could make a low-effort comment about the kind of person I must be irl. They've commented on my home life, my pets, my tastes, my presumed relationships, everything. All without actually knowing me. All in an effort to be malicious. Just really weird, creepy behavior.
Anyway, I'm telling you all this because it's likely they will eventually show up in your inbox. And yeah, at first it's cute to flash a snarky comeback or two. I did that at first. But I can assure you that that's exactly what they want--attention. Your best course of action, regardless of what they say, is to IGNORE them. Don't engage. Don't acknowledge. They are liquid filth beneath your feet. They don't deserve your attention. They are a cowardly troll hiding behind the anon setting. They are not worth your time, energy, or talent.
I hate that it took me this long to figure that out. I hate even more that I have to post about this in an effort to bring attention to this issue, thus giving them their fifty seconds of fame. I TRIED to be diplomatic, wanting to settle the issue privately over DMs. They don't want to talk, nor are they genuine, even if they claim to be. They're a troll. That's all they are, and all they ever will be.
Please stay safe out there. Everyone deserves a safe, fun, and welcoming atmosphere here. You are all worth so much more than whatever pathetic insults they're able to squeeze together. Keep an eye out and take nothing they say to heart. They deserve nothing.
Love you guys. Stay awesome.
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nohaijiachi · 1 year
Text
I got randomly recommended this video by YT and wrote a ginormous comment in response because I have no self control, apparently, so I thought I might as well also share my thoughts here in regard to whatever is going with THIS FUCKING SMILE
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(under a cut to not clog y'alls dashboards)
(the first part of the comment here is a direct response to some of the ideas put forth in the video, it is very short so give it a quick watch for more context if you want)
Imo it's not necessary to look into overcomplicated theories that rely too much on off screen shenanigans to explain the smile, for how amusing the idea of them having swapped during the kiss is (like, the kind of stuff I won't want to be actually canon, but I'll be very happy to see explored in fan fics lol)
I think to fully explain that smile we have to take in consideration multiple factors:
This show is very purposeful in what it does and doesn't, well... show. That last shot is very long and I think the fact that Aziraphale's and Crowley's expressions in the aftermath of their disastrous break up is shown in such a manner tells us a LOT about the state of mind they might be at the start of S3, and the obstacles they'll have to face. Aziraphale doesn't immediately smile, rather he seems to look almost shell-shocked for most of the shot; it's clear (to me at least lol) that the quiet ride up the elevator is finally giving him some desperately needed time to fully digest everything that happened, because too much has happened in an extremely short amount of time, and we all know Aziraphale doesn't do well with speed lol.
But, for how much he can sometimes be a complete moron, he is smart, and all he needs are just those seconds of quiet to properly ponder on everything, on the choices made and the ramifications of said choices, and that's how we get to smile-- I'll delve into what I think Aziraphale is going through in his mind in more details later, because I also think it's necessary to focus a bit on Crowley's own expression, since the both of them are so intrinsically linked that the narrative cannot make sense without taking the both of them into account.
Crowley's expression is much more static and doesn't change the way Aziraphale's does; he looks profoundly tired in ways we've never seen him before. I don't think he's giving up on Aziraphale, and I fully believe the fact that he stood there and waited for Aziraphale to disappear in the elevator, the both of them sharing that last look, was a quiet message: He'll never give up on Aziraphale, he'll be there, waiting. But wait is all he can do for Aziraphale, now, because he can't follow where Aziraphale is going.
For how messy and full of heightened emotions the confession + kiss are, I think actually denying Aziraphale's request was a HUGE step forward for Crowley's character. He's never been able to deny Aziraphale, he always went back to him after every fight, and we all know how stupidly whipped for Aziraphale he is and how he'd empty the ocean with a spoon if Aziraphale asked him nicely-- But to actually put his foot down and say "no, I cannot do this for you" when asked to all but renounce the person he is now? Especially with how Aziraphale is all but begging him openly? That's a huge step, and something I think Crowley desperately needs to mature as a person (or, well, person-shaped being). We all love how Aziraphale has him wrapped around his little finger I'm sure, but we also all know that if they truly want to build a strong, healthy relationship they also both need to be able to keep their individuality and to put forth adequate boundaries about what they are willing to do for each other within reason.
Asking Crowley to come back to being an angel when he's made blatantly clear for six thousand bloody years how much he despises Heaven is not a 'within reason' request, innit?
So, yeah, for how heartbreaking the break-up was, in a sense Crowley needs it. They both do. They both need time apart to figure their own shit out, dismantle all those unhealthy habits they had to adopt in order to be with one another as safely as they possibly could while still 'employed', and then come back together with a clearer mind and a whole deal stronger than before, both as individuals and as a couple.
And I think how tired and downtrodden Crowley looks in that last shot is a precursor to this process, just as much as Aziraphale's smile is... So, let me get back to our favorite angel and what I personally think is going on with him.
I think to properly contextualize that smile we need to look at not just the happening of those infamous last fifteen minutes, but of S2 as a whole, and what Aziraphale does in it.
So, what is Aziraphale doing during S2?
At the start he seems to be more or less comfortably settled in his current life; he's as happy as ever doing what he's always done, enjoying humanity's creativity with his books and his music and his food and drinks, seemingly content to be puttering about in his bookshop (which is a stark contrast with Crowley's homelessness and his kinda adrift and depressed attitude). Of course then Jim!Gabriel throws a wrench right into that, but imo I think there was a lot more going on behind the facade of Aziraphale's well ingrained habits.
Sure, he still has all of his familiar comforts and his routine, but from the moment we see him interact with Crowley I saw a deep restlessness emerge in him: The panicked look he launches Crowley when Nina asks him about his 'naked man friend', the way he speaks with Crowley with all those 'our' he uses, the blatant way he keeps reaching over and touching Crowley-- To me that suggests that Aziraphale is clearly not as happy as he seems to be on a superficial glance. He clearly wants more with Crowley, wants to bring their relationship to the next step, but because the both of them are so deeply entrenched in their unhealthy coping mechanisms and habits and their inability to openly communicate it doesn't even occur to Aziraphale to just... You know. Take the first step, actually say something about it. So he just keeps throwing bait after bait in the water, hoping Crowley will bite and be the one taking the initiative as he's always done, finally allowing Aziraphale to accept said initiative, this time around.
Of course, we all see that Crowley doesn't take any first step, which is probably something deeply frustrating for Aziraphale at a subconscious level. That's how we get the ball; sure, on the face of it it was Aziraphale's way to make Nina and Maggie fall in love, but... Was it, really? Let's be real, for how entirely believable it is that Aziraphale makes up the lie about Nina and Maggie's love to cover for their miracle is, since we've seen him being anxious around other angels, I don't think for a second that had Aziraphale just stopped and spent three minutes thinking about it he wouldn't have found a way to convince Muriel that Nina and Maggie were, in fact, in love, especially with how 'green' Muriel is about humans.
I fully believe that Aziraphale is not properly thinking during S2, period. He's frustrated by his inability to bring his and Crowley's relationship to what he wants it to be, and that frustration and single-minded objective is utterly obfuscating his thought process. There are plenty of moments he seemed almost manic, imo, which I read as another sign about his 'impaired' (allow me the term) state of mind as of S2.
So, yes, the ball: On the face of it something to actually turn his lie to the Archangels into truth, but deeper down, perhaps almost unconsciously, I think Aziraphale sees the ball as a way to finally make him and Crowley happen. That fact that he's taking pointers about romance from human literature is blatant, and obviously he truly does believe the ball will be THE way to make love bloom.
If you stop and think about it, the ball scene is terrifying. These people are being manipulated to play the perfect background parts to make, what is in Aziraphale's mind, the height of romance atmosphere happen. The fact we get a juxtaposition with Nina's "what the F is going on, am I losing my mind???" rightful attitude underlines this. And I truly believe Aziraphale isn't exerting said manipulation with intent, but rather doing so subconsciously, because he's just so fixated on the idea of having finally the perfect set-up to have Crowley as he desires that he is influencing everything around him. After all, we all know they both have the tendency of making things happen the way they want simply by thinking that's how things are supposed to happen.
And again, he's so manic and giddy when he asks Crowley to dance, his ass is not LISTENING. He literally needed a brick thrown through a window to snap out of it.
So, in the present we have an Aziraphale who , in his own way, is trying to take the initiative, come out with plans. There is a moment that I think might have slipped under the radar of a lot of people but that's frightfully important about who Aziraphale is at this point in the story, and who he will need to become: "I have a plan," Aziraphale said to Crowley during the stare down with the demons outside of the bookshop after the ruined ball; Crowley didn't even seem to have registered that sentence at all, because his mind is already projected forward and going a mile a minute about what to do to keep both the humans and Aziraphale safe in this situation.
Crowley, who loves to swoop in and save Aziraphale, doing what he's always done to keep his angel safe, even to the detriment of their relationship with one another... And Aziraphale, who adores playing the part of the damsel in distress in turn, is actually telling Crowley that *he has a plan*.
That's not something to take lightly, methinks. That's very much just another sign that Aziraphale's individuality is struggling, trying to emerge through Aziraphale's anxiety and doubts and fears and deeply ingrained habits. Aziraphale's cognitive dissonance in regards to heaven, and his shaken faith in God are huge motivators of his actions, and in the grand scheme of things the scant few years he had away from under the oppressive thumb of heaven is nothing. It was barely any time at all in the face of the eternity of an immortal life spent under that oppression, and yet we are already seeing little glimpses of Aziraphale's rebellious side struggling to get fully free.
I think these little glimpses inform us at great lengths about the evolution Aziraphale's character will go through in S3, and greatly explains that strange smile right at the end; in my opinion that smile isn't the smile of someone who's trying to convince himself that he's ok, or realizing that Crowley loves him (he knew already, they both knew and have known for a long time, their inability to properly express those feelings was their downfall, but I don't think either of them has doubted even for a second when it comes to how much they love one another). In my opinion that smile is the smile of someone who is steeling himself for what he envisions in his future; equal parts old-sedated anxiety and yet determination to actually enact plans he's surely concocting in his brilliant little mind. That's the smile of someone who has just realized that not only they can, but that they need to do something, and you can damn well be sure they won't be sitting and twiddling their thumbs waiting to be saved, but they'll be the one saving themselves and everybody else along with 'em, this time.
Just as Crowley needs to actually spend some time define himself as himself, and not just in relation to Aziraphale, Aziraphale needs to spend some time shedding all those fears and doubts that are weighing him down, and emerge the other side someone much more self-assured and ready to do what he thinks is right without all the hesitations that have indirectly been strengthened by Crowley; in a way, by allowing Aziraphale an out with his 'temptations', Crowley had been feeding into those hesitations, and had been holding Aziraphale back from fully maturing, even if not done on purpose, obviously. Imo is very important for Aziraphale's character that he comes to realize that he doesn't need those excuses Crowley gifted him to keep doing what he thinks is right, that he actualizes his own morality properly, and enacts on it.
I don't have the faintest clue about what is going to happen in S3, but I do fully believe the above paragraph is what Aziraphale and Crowley's respective character arcs will focus on. And once they'll come back together they'll be the most power couple that has ever power coupl-ed, and the Metatron will have no clue about what is about to hit him >:)
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