#so looks like i remain without a job. yay.

[crystalkitty1220]

Might have to scrap a fic idea because I thought the panic that came with time moving too slowly or too quickly was a universal thing, but now I'm realizing I probably have chronophobia and the fic might not feel the same to other people. Don't want it to drag on or feel rushed if readers won't get the same kind of anxiety the character's getting.

[scorpioriesling]

Invisible String - Part 3

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

Pairing(s): Eris x reader

Warning(s): angst ofc, comfort. Please be advised; future parts might not be suitable for all audiences. Proceed with caution.

Summary: You'd taken the nanny position for the royal family over a year ago, not expecting what would come of it or how close you'd grow to the child you cared for. Things became tough for Eris when his wife left him and his daughter, and he found it increasingly harder to raise Riley himself. He soon realizes, you've provided a lot more than the typical job description duties for his daughter... and maybe for him, too.

SR’s Note: I added in the advisory so that younger / uncomfortable readers won't begin the series without knowing or expecting potential risks in content to come. For those who enjoy or look forward to content as such -- get excited! Nonetheless, I hope readers will enjoy this series that came to me in a dream one night. (; Much love to all.

Tags: @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @talesofadragon @rcarbo1 @mandziaaa @lilah-asteria @a-frog-with-a-laptop @kitsunetori @dannul @velarisdusk @lamarmotta @paintedbyshadows @i-know-i-can (inbox me or comment if you'd like to be added!)

･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *

You'd practically torn apart every drawer in your dresser and tossed out every hanger in your closet at this point. All those clothes you'd put away were for nothing; your room was a disaster. Yet, you could not find anything suitable enough for an outing with the Autumn heir and his daughter.

"The PINK one," the four year old chimed in for the hundredth time.

Her commentary was not necessarily helping, either.

"Riley, I'm not sure that the pink is my favorite," you say, and she scootches to the edge of your bed, hopping off and trotting over to your closet. She watches as you furiously flip through the remaining hangers, and her fist closes around a fistfull of marigold fabric.

"This!" She says, tugging on a rather simple milkmaid-style dress you hadn't worn in years, honestly. It was cute, it at least had some floral detailing on it.

You sighed, looking down at the beaming child. You'd done her hair first; half up, half down with a biiiig bow, just as she'd requested. A bow to match her fluffy gown and pretty flats, of course. She truly was the definition of Princess.

"I suppose-"

"Yay!" She twirled, her dress billowing out around her. She wafted toward the corner as you slid the dress on, adjusting it to fit before stepping out in front of the large mirror to inspect it in full. You'd barely laid your eyes on the full outfit before Riley bounded over to you, her mouth wide as she gasped.

"You look so pretty!" She said, wrapping her arms around your knee as her eyes met yours in the mirror. You smiled at her, leaning down to give her a hug.

"Thank you Riles! You look very pretty today too." You complimented, and she giggled, her fingers drifting through the ends of your curled hair. You decided on a few minimal jewelry pieces and flats, pushing your accessory drawer closed when a thin, marigold ribbon fell out. Riley noticed it, racing over and picing it up for you.

"We match?" She asked, extending the hair accessory to you on an outstretched hand. You took it from her; all you could do was agree, tying half your hair back and fastening it in a bow at the back.

"We better go find your dad," you suggest, straightening the last few imperfections of your dress before Riley's attention is caught at the doorway.

"Oh my -- Riley, you look wonderful!" Eris' voice compliments from your doorway, and she bounds over to him, getting caught in his arms in an instant. He kisses her cheek, both of them looking to you after a moment's pause. "You both do," he adds, quieter this time. You turn slightly, blushing at the compliment as you retrieve your purse from your bed and walk towards them.

"As do you, Vanserra." You brush past him with a wink, heading down the hallway with all the confidence in the world today it seemed. Riley's footsteps bounded behind you, the three of you on your merry way.

✧･ﾟ: *

You'd ridden to the Town Square on horseback; Riley with her dad, of course. When you'd gotten to the main district, he'd gotten off with Riley first, helping you next like a true gentleman. His hand lingered for a moment around your waist, the heat of his touch enough to send a thrill down your spine.

Stop it. You chastized yourself. You still work for him, you know.

Riley gasped, pointing toward the center of the streets, the crowds and vendors bustling with business this afternoon. "Daddy, look!" She squealed, pointing and hopping from foot to foot in anticipation. His hand held hers, beginning the trek through the busy streets. You accompanied her other side, sure to keep close to her just in case.

"Look! Daddy!" She shrieked in delight, and Eris scratched the back of his head, failing to recognize which vendor Riley was pointing out. You looked ahead, trying to decipher what might have her so intrigued. That’s when you saw it.

You leaned over, gently tapping his shoulder. He looked to you, and you placed your fingers atop your head, pointing down at Riley and then ahead. He looked forward, the realization dawning on him then.

“Oh! I see, the lady with the crowns?” He asked. Riley shrieked, jumping up and down as your trio continued on, making way toward the craft table. Eris looked to you, silently mouthing a thank you. You only nodded once, giving him a small smile in return.

Riley let go of her father’s hand, leaping toward the table full of play pretend crowns when she was close enough to see it fully. She oogled over them all — finding it hard to choose just one.

“Good morning, folks!” The older woman behind the table greeted, and you bowed your head in polite greeting as well.

“Hi, I like all these,” Riley said, and the lady chuckled.

“Well, aren’t you a little cutie,” she cooed, and Riley nodded.

“Actually, I’m a Princess.” The lady smiled at her, and Riley inspected a pink bedazzled one more closely.

“Oh, I bet you are, aren’t you!” She said. She seemed to only just now notice Eris, her eyes widening in pleasant surprise.

“Why, if it isn’t the High Lord's son himself! Oh, goodness,” She said, curtsying hastily. Eris smiled politely.

“No worries, ma’am. Good morning to you too. Lovely day today, isn’t it?” He said, and her eyes lit up.

“It isn’t isn’t it? Gosh, what a beautiful day-“

“Daddy, I want this one!” Riley thrust a golden crown with red gems glued to it into the air, and Eris stepped forward.

“Alright dear, alright.” He chuckled, fishing out a few coppers from his pocket. “How much for this one?” He asked. The old woman waved a hand, shaking her head.

“Nonsense; it’d be my honor to give one of my crafts to the Autumn Princess.” Riley beamed, putting her new crown on her head in delight.

“That’s very kind of you, but I insist.” He dropped a few coins, definitely more than the piece cost — and the lady gave him a gracious smile.

“Thank you!” Riley said, and the woman nodded to her.

“You’re teaching that one well, Eris!” She said, and Eris waved as you all made your way to the next table.

✧･ﾟ: *

You’d only made it by about five more tables when the face painting station came into view. Of course, that was next on the agenda, and of course, it had the longest line of children. Nonetheless; Riley patiently waited her turn, standing calmly between a few other rowdy kids while you and Eris watched from the fountain a few feet away.

“That’s all you, you know.” He said, your sidelong glances meeting for only a moment. “Her, manners, I mean. How well behaved she is. Her patience,” he explains. You clasp your hands together, his shoulder resting against the stone so close to the side of your face. You were grateful, anyway; he shielded the midday sun from your view.

“She doesn’t get that from you?”

He lets out a sharp laugh, looking at you incredulously. “Oh, absolutely not. Me, as a child… Gods, I wish there was a way I could repay my mother for how reckless I was.” He shook his head, and you bit your lip to hold back your giggle.

“You seem like you’ve got this-“ he gestures his hand in a circle, motioning to Riley who looks over and mistakes it as a wave. She waves, and both of you wave back at her, that little smile so contagious.

“It just seems like you’ve got this whole thing figured out already. Like, you’ve always got an answer for everything.” He scratches his chin, and your mouth tilts in a side smile at his words.

“Eris, truly, I don’t though. I mean, I don’t even have kids myself...yet.” You say, and he lets out a long breath. Your mind races, thinking of everything you know you shouldn’t in that moment.

“You want them someday, though?” He asks. Your expression must say something, because he quickly fumbles his words. “I’m sorry, that’s, um. That’s really personal, I didn’t mean. That.”

You look down at the pavement, more than the afternoon sun warming the skin on your cheeks. “Well,” you say, your eyes daring a glance at him only to realize his face is rather flushed as well. “Riley won’t need a nanny forever, right?”

Eris runs a hand through his hair, readjusting his position against the wall of the fountain. “No, no. I suppose she won’t.”

“Look! She’s almost done,” You say, watching as the artist cleans her brush in the water one last time. Eris tries to peer around people and get a look at what design she got, and you curl your fingers around the rather large muscle of his upper arm.

“Wait! Don’t look — what do you think she got?” You ask, and Eris’ gaze wavers between where your fingers hold tight to him and your eyes trained on his.

“I…. uh… I don’t know,” he says, failing to come up with a good guess. “Probably the pony; little girls love ponies, right?” You smirk, raising an eyebrow at him.

“I bet you one copper that she comes back with a bunny painted on her cheek.” You guess, and he shrugs.

“Alright, suit yourself. One copper it is, then.” Riley scooted back in her chair, bounding over to you with a wide smile on her face. Eris watched as your smile grew with every step his daughter took toward you two, a fluffy, pink bunny painted right on her cheek.

✧･ﾟ: *

Riley started getting a bit fussy after the late lunch the three of you had shared, indicating it was indeed her naptime. She refused to be carried by her father through the busy streets, preferring to walk between you two hand-in-hand instead.

"Swing me!" She shouted, skipping along as she gripped your fingers in hers. Eris looked to you and sighed, but you only shrugged.

"Alright dear, but only a few times, we're nearly to the horses-"

"Okay, Daddy, okay!" She said, rearing back and preparing to be swung off her feet.

"One, two, three!" Eris counted, lifting her in time with you off her little feet, sending her flying into the air a few inches as she squealed in delight. When her feet hit the ground once more, she laughed with joy, asking again and again for the same thing.

You watched as the little girl fell asleep soundly against her father's chest, drifting off with the rocking atop the horse as you'd made the trek home. It made you happy to see Eris getting to do these little things, even if it was just carrying his daughter inside and lying her down for her nap. You'd taken to the kitchen, noticing the darkening sky and decided to prep for the evening meal as you'd be cooking for one extra this evening.

"I didn't realize how much went into what you do."

You didn't need to look to know he'd come into the kitchen, his voice only a few feet away. You continued to pull out the various pots and pans needed, closing the cabinets with care to not wake Riley.

"I'm not sure what you mean," you say, walking toward the fridge in search of the vegetables. Eris stalks over to the island, leaning against it as he watches you pull things out.

"I just meant. Well, I don't get to spend as much time with her as I'd like." He says, and you stand, shutting the refrigerator door behind you. You walk over and stand beside him, laying out the veggies on the countertop before you.

"I see," You say. He was talking about his daughter, you knew that. A soft rumbling sounds from outside, and you glance behind you. The sky outside the window has indeed darkened; you hoped the thunder would only enhance her slumber, not stir her from it.

You bent over, reaching in the cabinet for a cutting board and placing it on the island. Eris went quiet next to you, and you risked a glance at him. Your face fell when you noticed his downcast eyes, so full of light and love just hours ago now replaced with something darker.

"What's... what has you so upset-"

"I'm the only parent she has left," he says harshly, his hands bracing the edge of the marble. "I barely know a thing about my own kid, and I don't get to see her often because of my damned job, my position in this court that I'd give up in an instant if I knew she'd be safe-" he stops, the last word broken by a crack in his voice. His knuckles had gone white against the counter, and your eyes had widened at his outburst.

You reached out a timid hand in comfort, but pulled back as the image of last time flashed through your mind. The way he freaked out when you put your hand on his arm, just trying to be there for him...

You weren't sure what he wanted from you.

"Eris... I don't know what to say." You couldn't think of what to do, shaking your head slowly as your hands hung limply at your sides. "I'm... I'm really sorry, about today, if I stepped on your toes by going with you guys, I know how important your time is with her, I just-"

His head turns, looking to you in that moment. You hadn't realized how close you stood to one another, his intense gaze feeling like fire as he scanned your face. You couldn't read him -- his eyes watered, and he looked... frustrated? Confused? What was it?

"Look, I'm sorry, I'll just leave you alone-"

"Please don't," he whispered, his eyes falling to your hands as a tear ran down his cheek. "Please. Don't leave."

Your heart throbbed, pins prickling the backs of your own eyes. In that moment, you reached both of your hands out, not caring the repercussions of your actions as you slid your arms around Eris' ribs, pulling him into you and holding tight. He breathed deep, his torso shuddering as you fought back your own tears while running your fingers up and down his back. His hands gripped your waist, his strong arms enveloping you as he allowed himself to finally relax against your touch, finally accepting a bit of the comfort you so desperately had been trying to offer him.

"Eris," you said quietly, the rainfall the only other sound in the room over the quiet sounds of your combined breaths. "You have to understand that you are a good father." His fingers flex around your waist, holding you tighter as he takes in your words.

"Riley talks about you all day long," you continue. "She waits everyday for you to come home, and I really think you don't give yourself enough credit for all of the things you do for her each and every day." You say.

"She knows your work is... not, well. Normal," you say, and he nods against your shoulder. "I think everyone knows that you do a lot, and you've been through so much," you chuckle humorlessly, pressing your cheek against his chest. "The main thing we care about, honestly, is that you come home safe every night."

He pulls back slowly, his hand sliding from your waist to brush a piece of hair from your forehead. You hadn't realized it'd stuck to your cheek -- a stream of wet from the corner of your eye was proof of that. His fingers remained lightly cupping your cheek, his thumb brushing across your skin as he continued to hold you against him.

"You truly are a Queen." Eris says, his soft smile drawing a little chuckle from you. "Beautiful inside and out."

Your cheeks are ablaze from his words, your breathing unsteady as his fingers pull you closer, his lips mere inches from yours. You can see every caramel hue in his irises, every light freckle dusting the bridge of his nose when-

A sharp crack sounds behind you, the room illuminating with the bolt of lightning that flashes across the sky. You flinch, embarassed as the moment passes and you're left in darkness again. You realize you'd clung tighter to Eris, and he'd done the same; both of you releasing your hold on the other at the same time.

He clears his throat, running a hand through his hair as he lets out a short laugh. "Uh, well," he chuckles, gesturing to the spread of forgotten vegetables on the countertop before you. "This is another thing I am not proficient at." He shrugs, and you nod, wiping your palms on the skirt of your dress.

"Oh! Right, um, well. I'd be happy to show you, if you'd like. I thought for dinner tonight, we'd do traditional autumn stew?"

✧･ﾟ: *

The rest of that night was nice... for the most part.

Dinner was nice. The three of you enjoying it together was nice. Riley insisted on having movie night afterwards, so Eris set up the projector and the three of you snuggled together in the living area under a mound of blankets and pillows to watch Moana... which was nice. You'd even fallen asleep there, and to wake up using Eris' arm as a pillow... well, you'd be lying if you said that wasn't nice, too.

What was not so nice, was the morning after.

You'd woken up first, enoying the sight around you in the dim light but eventually you made your way to the kitchen for some tea. The first light of morning hadn't risen yet, which meant you had some time before Riley would wake up to prepare a meal for her... and her father, too. You were pondering what to make when footsteps behind you had you whirling around in the dark, squinting to make out the figure before you.

"Don't worry -- it's just me," Eris whispered, and you rubbed your eyes, taking him in more clearly. He was already fully dressed, not in his usual attire or how he would dress when spending time at home, either. He was in his armor, the various straps and ties secured across his chest and arms making your eyes widen and forcing you to wake up quickly.

"Where are you going?" You asked, and he stepped closer, his voice a hushed whisper.

"I recieved word that I would be needed this week for correspondence in a few of the other courts," he says, and your heart lurches. "I am hoping to be back sooner, but-"

"Wait. You're leaving for an entire week?" You squeak, and he nods gravely. You shudder, but you feel his fingers wrap around yours as he brings your hand to his lips.

"I promise, I will try to be back sooner." He says, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of your hand. You shake your head, your mind racing with a million dark thoughts you wished you weren't having this early in the morning.

"What about Riley?"

He sighs, dropping your hand and scratching his chin. "Last time I had to leave like this, you remember she didn't handle the goodbye well-"

"So you think leaving without saying anything is better?" You ask, your frown evident. His head drops between his shoulders, and his hands lightly hold onto your shoulders.

"Y/N, you know it kills me to leave like this," he says, his eyes pleading in the dim morning light. "I can't go through that again with her." He says, and you sigh. It was horrendous last time, her wailing and sobbing as he left for his mission lasted days when she was told what wsa happening. You still felt the guilt in your gut by not telling her what was going on though.

Your fingers found his, your gaze firmly holding his. "I'm telling her today after you've gone. She at least deserves to understand what's happening." He nods, pulling you in quickly to his chest. Your heart skips a beat, the anticipation, fear, and something else all mixed together like the bubbling water of the Cauldron inside of you.

"One week. I'll see you then," he says against your hair, releasing you as he quietly makes his way to and out of the front door.

✧･ﾟ: *

That whole week was Hell.

Riley asked at least once a day when her father would come home, and you felt worse and worse when you couldn't give her a straight answer as you weren't entirely sure yourself as to when he'd return. Honestly, it made you sick not knowing exactly what was going on either, and having to put on a brave face every morning was beginning to weigh on you more than you liked to admit. You truly wished you didn't care so much -- but the tethers around your heart pulled everytime you imagined the worst, thinking of what could be happening to Eris-

"Y/N is sad." Riley stands near the end of the kitchen counter, her limp beagle dangling from her fingers. Her tired eyes were swollen and red, and you lift your head from your hands on the counter at the sound of her voice. You glance toward the clock. 9 pm.

"Riley, honey, I put you in bed an hour ago-"

"But Y/N is sad too." She walks softly toward you, the braid you'd done in her hair now slightly mussed from the tossing and turning she'd likely done in her bed before she'd woken up. She approaches, wrapping her arms around your thigh and pressing her cheek to your exposed skin. Tears threaten the corners of your eyes, all of the emotions hitting you in full today. It was the seventh day Eris hadn't come back, and you were both feeling the weight of his absence it seemed.

You bend down, kneeling before her to engulf her in your arms in a proper hug. She shakes lightly against you, and you can't help the single tear that slips free, dripping onto her soft hair. Her fingers grip onto your silky pajamas, clutching you tightly.

"I miss daddy so much," she mumbles into your shoulder. Your hand runs over her little back, trying to provide her comfort while keeping your own tears at bay.

You take a shaky breath, your voice broken as more quiet tears fall down your cheeks. "I know sweetheart. I miss him too."

✧･ﾟ: *

Riley ended up drifting off in your lap, and you'd opted to carry her to your room. The distance from the kitchen was shorter, and in an effort to not stir her again, you laid her in your plush blankets, tucking her in and watching as she snuggled into the warm blankets with contentment. You left the lamp on in case she woke up, but closed the door this time; Gods forbid you had another emotional breakdown and woke her once more.

You retreated to the living room, reaching for a few blankets in the dark room when the creak of the side door sent a chill down your spine.

Were you hearing things?

You froze in place, every drop of blood in your body turning to ice when you heard it swing shut.

Definitely not hearing things. Someone was in the house.

Your head spun, cheeks ablaze and palms clamming up all at once. This hadn't happened before, or yet, anyway. Eris had touched on this issue when you first started working here, but what had he said about intruders? You couldn't remember.

The pit forming in your stomach grew as your mind raced, trying to think of any escape, any plan, any action to get Riley out of here before you both met your end. Gods, what had he said when you were hired, anyway? Something about his swords, in his room, maybe? Those were all the way down the hall -- you'd never make it in time.

You took a silent step toward the foyer, then another. The intruder would be in the kitchen soon, and you wouldn't waste any precious seconds you had to save Riley. You had to move, now.

Passing the small entryway table, you contemplated the vase atop it for a moment. Honestly, it would only wake Riley and alert the intruder of her presence. Maybe he would just take you and leave, if you could be quiet enough. You had a better shot defending yourself with your fists anyway -- the glass decoration would simply shatter anyway.

You rounded the corner, sucking in a breath as you heard a low moan coming from the kitchen. Your heartbeat faltered, an invisible pull like a magnet drawing you closer. You squinted in the dark, trying to make out any shapes or forms through the dim lighting.

Another low groan, only this time you recognized it. Your clenched fist loosened, and you took a few quick steps toward the small faelight to flick it on, revealing the horrific scene before you.

"Eris?"

✧･ﾟ: *

You worked quickly, trotting around the master washroom with supplies as your mind seemed to fog over. You felt as though this was a silent film, and you were a puppet; nothing was real, you couldn't hear, or think, or register what was going on before you-

"Y/N, please-"

"I'm working on it," you say absentmindedly, your fingers shaking as you begin soaking the rag clutched in your hand with cleaning solution. Eris' eyes widen, and he stares at you silently.

Only when the rag is practically dripping do you look up at him, barely able to look him in the eye before muttering, "this is going to hurt like Hell." He nods, and you quickly press the rag into his abdomen, his muscles immediately tensing around the area. He sucks in a sharp breath, the following few are ragged as he white-knucke grips the counter behind him.

"Gods, Y/N-"

"Hold still." You command, your tone lacking warmth as you move to press against the long gash, attempting to stop the blood free flowing from it. He groans again but you keep going, readjustign the cloth until you've wiped most of the blood away and the wound is clean for the most part.

You retreat to the medicine cabinet, grabbing a jar of salve and some large bandage wrap from it before standing before Eris once more. You gather some of the cool jelly on your fingers, making to apply it but Eris' hand grips your shoulder in an instant, and you break from whatever panic mode you were in and look up at him.

"Wait," he whispres, pain lacing his voice as his brows knit atop his forehead. You blink, realizing that in your momentary panic-ridden attempt to help him, you were not providing what he may have needed most and not gotten much of this past week.

Your eyes dropped, and your fingers lightly wrapped around his, your thumb running over his long digits. "I'm almost done, I promise," You say, with a lot more compassion this time. His eyes meet yours, and you fight against the stinging behind yours as you move toward him, your fingers brushing over the marred skin. His fingers tighten on your shoulder, a pained gasp coming out of him again.

"Shh, it's alright," you say quietly, working as quick as you can. "Almost done, I promise," You cap the salve, tearing open the bandage wrap before aligning it over his wound. His forhead finds your shoulder, his head resting on it as the muscles around his knife wound continue to retract at your touch. You lightly wind your arms around him, securing the wrap around his midsection and completely covering up his injury. It's then that you feel the warmth of his hands on you; his hands that had been holding onto you this whole time, but now had he relaxed a little, his heat had begun to return.

You stepped an inch closer, the familiar lump in your throat from earlier returning as every word you ached to say raced through your mind. Your arms found their way around his neck, and he squeezed you tighter when he felt you holding him. You threaded one hand through his hair, softly running your fingers through it while the other traced up and down lightly across his exposed back.

"You really scared me," you whispered. A small drop of water landed on his shoulder, but you didn't care. You'd allowed yourself to be vulnerable earlier in front of Riley, and it is healthy to show that you can't be happy all of the time, and that's okay; maybe Eris needed to see that too.

He nodded against your shoulder, his head turning as his nose brushed the dip of your neck. His fingers rested on your lower back, holding firm as the two of you sat in comfortable silence, a million unsaid thoughts unshared between the two of you.

"I'm sorry." He said quietly after a few minutes, his lips brushing against your skin with the action. Your body tingled, it itched, you burned inside, just wishing things could be different. You pulled back an inch, moving to look up at him through your wet lashes. He shook his head slowly at you, his thumb brushing over the tear trails down your cheeks.

"Please don't cry," he says. You chuckle, sniffling a little before unwrapping your arms from him. His hands catch yours, keeping you close to him before you can go to far.

"I hate leaving for so long." He said, his eyes dropping as he thought about how and what to say. "I don't like to be away like that."

You swallowed thickly, nodding with the effort. "Riley missed you. A lot. She asked about you every day..." you trailed off, looking to the side. He nodded, his hand letting go of yours and moving to cup your cheek, guiding you to look up at him again.

"I miss Riley, always," he said. "But, I also miss you."

Your heart seized, your chest caving at his words. You opened your mouth to answer, but nothing came out. How, in this worls, would you be able to say everything you wanted to, in just this moment?

You couldn't. You knew you wouldn't be able to. Not in just one moment like this. In the dim lighting of his master bath, just the two of you alone in the quiet -- he looked devastating, a few strands of his short hair brushing against his forehead as he gazed down at you. His gaze, his eyes, burning into yours with desire; you only hoped you coveyed every ounce of love you had in your body with a stare like that alone.

So, you did what felt right.

You pressed up onto the balls of your feet, his left hand on your hip balancing you as your lips finally met his. Every nerve ending in your body was ablaze, the feeling of those pillow soft lips on yours sending your mind into a state of bliss. His hand threaded through your hair, the other snaking around your lower back to press you closer against him.

You pulled back, just for a moment to make sure this was what he wanted as well. You barely had time to blink before his hands pulled you back in, his lips moving against yours with even more desire, more passion, the need only growing.

Your hands rested on his chest, fingertips pressing in slightly when he skated his tongue across your bottom lip. You allowed him in, surprising him when you swiped your tongue across his, the desire to explore every inch of his mouth one you'd been ashamed you'd had for months -- until now. He groaned, his grip on your waist tightening before his hand slid a bit lower, tracing the curve of your ass under his palm.

When you finally pulled back, gazing up at him with a small smile, you felt the heat between the two of you becoming rather warm in the small room. Whether it was eminating from him or it was how hot you felt inside, you couldn't be sure.

"You should... we should... it's late," you fumbled, chewing on your lower lip nervously. He nodded, loosening his grip on you a little but continued to pin you with his intense gaze.

"We should sleep," he agreed. You nodded, turning toward the door and making to leave but his fingers threaded lightly through yours. Your cheeks heated, and you looked to him as he smirked over your reaction.

"I..." you looked to his torso once more, and gasped. "Oh! I'm sorry, uh. Yeah, um. I can, help you. Get to bed, if that's. What. You, need." You stumbled out, and he chuckled lowly. You laughed nervously, and he pulled you against him once more. You squeaked at the feeling of his fingers gripping your hips, his lips pressing a small kiss just beneath your ear before his words sent a chill down your spine, despite the room's warm temperature.

"Maybe, you should just stay in here with me tonight."

Your backbone straightened at his suggestion, and he huffed a laugh once more. Your eyes met his, and a small smile played on your lips as you answered back.

"My bed is taken for the night, anyway. What's the harm?"

✧･ﾟ: *

[abra-ka-dammit]

Here I am again to beg for help paying for my (remaining) cats. Just when I thought I managed to get out relatively-cheap and easy with Zeppelin's quickly solved crystal scare the other week, Zelda cat started having severe difficulty breathing the night before last.

Her lungs look pretty wack on xray and ultrasound, with things that could indicate stuff like cat asthma or long term chronic airway disease, and theres a little air around one lung and under the skin of her chest somehow(???), but she's not presenting in a way that matches up to anything well enough for the doctors to know what's going on. Simply put, while I managed to squeeze the ER visit and 12 hour ICU stay into what had been cleared off my carecredit along with a little overflow on my near-maxed credit card, i cannot afford anything else. I managed to convince my mom* to loan me the $1653 and change in order to bring home a buster kennel and oxygen condenser along with antibiotics and anti-inflammatory meds: basically, I'm home-treating her for the Recover-From-able potential issues this could be. If this treatment plan ends without getting her back to a state where she can breathe "room air" again, the other things it could be are all things that would be irreversible, require serious surgery, or would otherwise ruin her further quality of life, so... you know. Let's hope this works, or once more euthanasia will be added to the bill.

Any help is greatly appreciated, especially since I'm inevitably going to need to go in for a follow up appointment whether this (seems to me like it) works or not, and unfortunately this all happened literally right before rent hit and I don't get paid again until friday of next week (9/13) so i have. no idea how im doing that yet.

*Part of the money my parents paid is refundable upon return of the kennel and oxygen machine but my father has already sent me long guilt trippy texts about how i'm ungrateful (apparently sobbing and thanking them as i continue to live in poverty to avoid further burdening them about my own human needs doesnt count) and essentially need to pick myself up by the bootstraps and afford my own cats (as though this freak timing, the ever worsening economy, or whether better jobs actually hire me is somehow totes under my control) so, yknow. yay for bonus stress

[natashaslesbian]

We Saved Each Other (Part Six)

Summary: Natasha is finally able to become your legal guardian, the problem is she wants to be more than that. She wants to be your mother

Word Count: 2.8k

Parings: (Kid!Reader x Mama!Natasha) (Kid!Reader x Barton Family) (Natasha x Clint) (Natasha x Fury)

Warnings/Content: some crying and some fluff

————

“Sign here please” Natasha swiped her pen over the dotted lines again “and last one just here” finally, she thought, this had taken much longer than she had hoped. “Congratulations” the blonde lady said, dressed head to toe in the smartest suit you had ever seen “you’re now y/n y/l/n’s official guardian” Mrs Williams said to Natasha as she moved her glasses from her nose to her head. The ex widow had now been a US citizen for 13 months, meaning she was finally able to become your legal guardian, meaning you would be staying with Natasha for a long time (you hoped it would be forever.) “yay” you called up from your chair, right next to Nat’s of course. She pulled you up onto her lap and held you close as Fury saw the older woman out. “Are you my mommy now?” You innocently asked “well not quite darling” Natasha said, causing you to frown “I’m your guardian which means it’s my job to look after you, but of course I will be your mommy as long as you want me to be” she explained “I wants you to be my mommy forever!” You beamed as you threw your arms around the redhead.

Natasha thought on what you had said for next week, wondering if she was really worthy of being a mother, being your mother. She thought about it throughout your many movie marathons, you were simply enchanted by the magic of classic Disney movies. She thought about it while you were cuddled together watching Mulan and long after you had fallen asleep watching Cinderella. “Mama” you called from Natasha’s lap, pulling her back to reality “the movie stopped” you whined “I think it’s finished y/n, are you ready for bed or do you wanna watch something else?” Your mom asked. You thought long and hard, a movie night could hardly be over after 2 films but you were oh so tired “finding nemo” you said through a yawn “again!” Nat feigned her exaggeration “we’ve already seen it 3 times this week!” You giggled as she mumbled her words into your tummy “it’s my favourite!” You laughed as you removed Natasha’s head and held it in your hands. She gently twisted towards your palm to leave a soft kiss “alright then baby, but after that it’s bedtime okay?” She said “ok mommy” you huffed.

Going to bed that night, Natasha continued to think about her role in your life. Each time you called her ‘mama’ the crack in her heart seemed to heal a little more. All those years of hurt had started to become distance memories rather than present thoughts that plagued her mind. You were rescuing her from herself without knowing it but a constant questioned remained; could she build a sustainable life with you? All the ex widow had ever known was killing and stealth, the real world was still so new to her too. Being a mother was a choice that was taken away from her and Natasha had accepted it so long ago, but now with you, everything had changed. Natasha couldn’t promise you a safe future, her list of enemies was too long to comprehend, she would always be a target. How could she live with herself if she were to put the same target on your back. But if there was one thing Natasha could promise you, it was love. It was that you would be loved so deep and true that you’d never forget it. She couldn’t replace your past or erase the memories, but she could build new ones. Filled with happiness and joy something she so desperately graved and something that you do desperately deserved.

The morning arrived before Natasha could even close her eyes and an exciting day laid ahead, the start of giving you memories filled with happiness and joy. “What if Cooper and Lila don’t like me?” You asked your mom, hiding behind the car door “oh y/n, how could anyone not like you!” Natasha said “I’m sure you’re gonna be the best of friends” she continued before taking a hold of your shaking hand. You joined Nat in knocking lightly on the wooden door, the large two story house looked so plain on the outside, but when the door opened a stream of colour and laughter caking roaring through. “Hey you two!” Clint said as he gave Nat a quick embrace “it’s good to see you y/n” you responded with your usual high-five “Laura” Clint called after rising to his height again “the girls are here” you stepped across a large welcome mat, signed with four handprints, and managed to take off your shoes with a little help from mommy. “Nat” said a soft voice from behind the corner. You watched as a tall beautiful brunette came into your vision “how are you my darling” she asked Natasha, who simply gave a nod “and this must be y/n” said the woman towards you. You moved behind Natasha slightly, using her frame to shield you. The two woman came down to your level “y/n this is Laura” Natasha said “she’s married to Clint and she’s one of my best friends” you looked between them both, trusting by Natasha’s eyes that Mrs Barton was safe “it’s wonderful to meet you sweetheart” Laura said as she held out her hand to you “hi” you whispered as you connected your palm to her own rather cautiously.

“Would you like to come and meet my children?” Laura asked as she held out her hand again. With a gentle nod and pat from Natasha you were lead further into the large cabin where you came into a room filled top to bottom with books art supplies and toys “y/n this is my son, Cooper” Laura said as she waved over her kids “and my daughter Lila” the pair said their hello’s and you politely waved back “Lila here is a few months older than you, I think you’ll get along very well, and Cooper is a great big brother, he’ll look after you both if you need anything” the older boy had already returned to his Lego set while Lila came to stand next to you “do you want to come see my new dollhouse” she asked. You looked back in search of Natasha and found her in the doorway with Laura “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need me ok darling” she softly spoke “ok mama” you replied. Once the adults had dispersed Lila came right to your side “I didn’t know auntie Nat was your mommy!” She exclaimed “does that mean you’re my cousin? Mine and Coopers cousin?” Lila beamed “what’s a cousin?” You asked, you had never heard of one before and feared it was something awful to be known as “well it means we’re the best of friends, closer than bff’s can ever be!” Lila came to give you a big hug, and at first it took you by surprise, you didn’t allow physical contact with anyone other than Natasha. But Lila’s hug felt nice, you had never had a cousin before and felt excited that she would be your first.

After a few hours of play, Laura called you for dinner “but mommy I wanted to take y/n on the swings!” Lila huffed “maybe after dinner sweetheart, why don’t you show y/n to the dining room?” Laura suggested. The loss of your crafts and make believe games was soon forgotten as the smell of fresh bread seeped into your senses. “Here y/n, come sit next to me” Lila said as she pulled back a chair for you. You settled well considering Natasha’s chair was on your side. Dinner was going by smoothly until Lila’s curiosity got the better of her. “Auntie Nat?” She called passed you “if your Y/N’s mom, why have I never met her before if she’s the same age as me?” Lila innocently asked “well y/n and I haven’t known each other very long you see” Natasha said “what do you mean?” Lila replied “I’ve only been looking after y/n for a few months, since we first met” your mom said as she helped you grab another roasted potato “you only met each other months ago? So you aren’t y/n’s real mom then?” Lila meant no harm, she was just confused. But hearing her say that Natasha wasn’t really your mom hurt. “Well not biologically, which means we aren’t actually related, but I can still be her mom for as long as she wants me to be” Nat said, looking down at you with a smile at the end of her sentence. “But she’s not your actual daughter?” The little brunette asked again “Lila honey” Laura spoke up “do you want to come and help me with dessert?” She said in order to defuse the accidental tension.

You stayed quiet for the rest of the evening, opting to say you had a small tummy ache to avoid going out to the swings with Lila and Cooper. You sat contently with Natasha until it was finally time to leave “thank you so much for coming y/n it was so nice to meet you! We’ll have to sort out a play date for you and Lila hey?” Laura smiled as she helped you into your coat “thanks Laura” Natasha said taking hold of your hand and leading you back to the car. “Bye bye y/n!” Lila called from the doorframe, you managed a small wave back. Natasha hummed along to the radio the whole journey back, flashing you worried glances here and there. You still had your quiet moments and they usually meant that something was bothering you. “Y/n?” She softly asked to get your attention “are you ok sweetheart?” Her emerald eyed remained on you as she came to a red light. “Yes” you whispered, and Natasha knew you meant no but she didn’t ever like to push you to talk. “How about when we get home we have another movie night? I know those are your favourites” Natasha suggested “no thank you” you replied “why not darling? Don’t you wanna spend some time with mama?” Nat smiled at you as the car paused at a red light. “You’re not my mama” you whispered into the window. Natasha sat in shock, only remembering to move the car again when the driver behind gave a harsh hit on his horn “baby” she sighed as the car rolled forward again “that’s what Lila said” you mumbled into your closed fist. The widow understood now why you were so upset and the idea in her head was solidified.

“Are you sure about this?” Nick asked as he placed down the papers in front of him “I’ve never been more sure of anything Fury” Natasha said “and you feel you’ve adjusted enough to this…lifestyle?” The Director continued “I know there’s still a journey to be had, but with her by my side I know I can do it” the redhead spoke through shaky breaths “you know what this means don’t you?” Fury said “you wouldn’t be able to stay here, and we can’t support you outside of your work with us, you’ll be on your own” he sighed “no they won’t” Clint added “we’re converting our barn, the girls will live there and we will support them until they’re on their feet” he finished. “Ok, I’ll contact Mrs Williams first thing” Nick said. Natasha let out the breath she didn’t realise she had been holding “thank you” she whispered as Clint guided her out of the directors office. “Did you mean what you said?” Nat asked “about the barn, because you know we don’t have to I’m sure we can find somewhere” she began to trail off as Clint raised his hand to her shoulder “of course I meant it Natasha, Laura and I would love you to be our neighbours” he finished as he pulled his best friend into a warm hug.

You woke up with your back facing Natasha, just as you had fell asleep. You craved her embrace, to feel her warmth soak into your skin. But Lila’s words were on repeat in your head. The last few days had been tough on both you and Nat, the two of you not really spending much time together. You had wanted to give in so many times but feared she would reject you, as she wasn’t really your mom. You rubbed your tired eyes and reached for your water bottle, only to find it empty. All of your emotions came pouring out of you as another inconvenience was too much to take. You rolled over with tears in your eyes hoping to be met with Natasha’s green ones. But her side of the bed was cold, the duvet hanging at the bottom of the bed. You let out a loud sob, feeling all the weight of the world on your shoulders. You wanted to scream for your mommy but it didn’t feel right anymore. You shuffled down off the bed, grabbing your stuffy and running to the door. You made your way to the kitchen, where usually the smell of pancakes would’ve excited you. You saw a flash of red hair and sped to the legs attached. Natasha jumped, almost dropping the fresh strawberry she had just picked up from the bowl. “Hey angel” she cheerfully said, but her expression changed when she heard your small sobs “oh baby wasn’t wrong?” She asked. “I’m sorry” you sobbed “I’m sorry I don’t care what Lila says I just want you to be my mommy. Please will you still be my mommy I’m sorry” you clawed at Natasha’s trousers, wiping your stuffy nose on her knee “hey hey baby girl” Nat said as she crouched down to face you “you have nothing to be sorry for y/n, I’m still your mommy baby girl, I always will be for as long as you want me to be” she cooed as she wiped your falling tears “but it’s not real is it” you cried. “Sweetheart come here” Nat scooped you up into her arms and brought you to sit on the couch, taking a second to make sure everything in the kitchen was turned off.

Once settled into the redheads lap, you continued to pull at her shirt afraid she would disappear if you let go. “Y/n look at me” Natasha began “you know that what Lila said isn’t true, family isn’t always about blood and genetics. Family is in here” she said as she placed her hand over your heart “and no body can ever tell you what’s in your heart. Sometimes beautiful things can come from bad situations and people can connect in all different ways. You don’t need to be related to call someone family. You don’t need a piece of paper to call someone your daughter. But if that’s what you want y/n…” you looked up into Natasha’s eyes as she paused “I have a surprise for you, if you want it?” She asked “what is it?” You asked back, finally drying your eyes. “Would you like me to adopt you?” Nat whispered, afraid you had changed your mind. “Like be my proper mommy?” You mumbled “no baby, I’ll always be your proper mommy, but if I adopt you then the world will call us a family too, we can be together forever” Natasha smiled as you stared up at her, a glimmer of hope in both of your eyes. “Will you adopt me please mommy?” You asked “of course baby” Natasha giggled, pulling you into the tightest hug ever as she began to cry herself “I love you y/n” she cooed into your hairline “I love you too mommy”.

“Sign here please” Natasha swiped her pen over the dotted lines again “and last one just here” finally, she thought, this had taken much longer than she had hoped. “Congratulations” the blonde lady said, dressed head to toe in the smartest suit you had ever seen “Miss y/n Romanoff you are officially adopted by Natasha Romanoff” Mrs Williams said to Natasha as she moved her glasses from her nose to her head. The ex widow had now been a US citizen for 15 months, and she had finally become your mother, meaning you would be staying with Natasha forever. “yay” you called up from your chair, right next to mamas of course. She pulled you up onto her lap and held you close as Fury saw the older woman out. “Are we going to uncle Clint’s now?” You innocently asked “very soon darling” Natasha said, causing you to frown slightly “hey, I’m sure we’ll be there before you even know it. We’ll get all our things packed up and maybe go to the store and pick you out some things for your new room. And very soon you’ll be able to see your cousins as much as you want!” she explained “I can’t wait! I’m so happy you get to be my mommy forever!” You beamed as you threw your arms around the redhead.

————

A/N: This isn’t proof read so sorry if my dyslexic ass messed a few things up. Also I can’t seem to edit my masterlist atm so bear with while I try update it :))) -Star

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Taglist<3

@saraaahsstuff / @dannipotatoo / @tobiaslut / @a-simpfortessa-lesbriean / @marvelnatasha12346 / @yelenasdiary / @mousetheorist / @ashadash0904

[cyupie]

✦ publicity stunt

pro-hero!neito monoma x pro-hero!male!reader

fluffy! yay!

word count: 1.8k

second person pov + purposeful all lowercase + not proof read

a/n: reader's quirk is known as "kickstart" and functions as follows: "user can generate bursts of kinetic energy and discharge them through their legs, allowing them to move at extreme speeds, leap high into the air, and kick with incredible force." taken from this reddit thread. reader is also kind of sassy ....

you find yourself panting as you run through the streets, chasing down a group of robbers. the only thought going through your head is how much you hate speedster quirks as you make a sharp turn and nearly fall over. a bolt of electricity rushes through you as you prepare to lunge forward - that is until you feel someone hit you over the head and launch themself in your place. “what the fuck!?” you find yourself crying out as you land roughly on the ground. obnoxious laughter fills the air as the perpetrator pursues the criminals and suddenly you’re far too aware of who it is. 

phantom thief, or neito monoma. 

each of the robbers are taken down with an annoying efficiency and skill as he uses your quirk and takes the all of the glory for himself. all you can do is groan as you get up and kick yourself off the ground in their direction, making sure each of them are out for the count as phantom thief stands there with this annoying grin on his face. he looks down at you; you narrow your eyes at him. 

“little bunny rabbit grumpy that his thunder got stolen?” he mocks, poking your chest with a pointed finger as he looks down at you. you think you want to snap his finger as you push him away. 

“i’m not a ‘bunny’ and i’m not grumpy,” you argue. “you didn’t need to hit me over the head the way you did, asshole.” 

his dumb stupid face and his dumb stupid grin don’t waver as he leans back, exaggerated movements and poses that are almost as idiotic as he is. there’s not enough words to describe how utterly aggravating he can be. monoma tilts his head at you, “with a quirk like that, you might as well be a rabbit. plus, i can only raise my rank with flawless stunts like that; not like i’d expect someone like you to understand.” 

the way he flips his hair and looks down at you makes you feel like you’re going to explode. you wish you could legally use your quirk on another pro-hero without repurcussions so long as they were an insufferable little prick like monoma was. 

“great. so it’s not even to like.. be a good person - a good hero, you just.. care about rankings?” you end up questioning, gesturing to the now tied up criminals. your face is scrunched up in both irritation and confusion. why become a hero if you’re going to be more pre-occupied with the public’s opinion of you rather than actual hero work? it didn’t make sense. 

“i’m almost offended you’d imply that,” he scoffs. “i don’t just care about the rankings. but i know if it stays up and the attention on me, i can keep doing my hero work because of it.” 

that makes sense. mostly. at least you can respect him for caring about his job, but your head still feels like it’s spinning from how hard you hit the ground earlier. you point up at him, “it still doesn’t explain why you had to hit me over the head.” 

“oh, that? i just wanted an excuse to hit you.” 

and just like that, any respect earnt was immediately lost. 

you find yourself massaging your temple as the news reporters and crowds start piling in, already shoving microphones and cameras in your faces with question after question. “phantom thief! was chasing down the criminals difficult!? did stealing h/n’s quirk take a toll on you!?” one reporter yelled as monoma put on a facade of friendliness. he smiles - the rest of his face remains flat, otherwise - as he leans into the microphone. 

“it was really nothing; if anything, chasing these petty robbers down seemed more troublesome for our little h/n here,” he laughs and you’re sending a death glare his way. you hope the cameras catch it - and immediately, you regret that thought as the cameras actually begin pointing at you. 

the chorus of questions start streaming in: is that true? how does it feel that phantom thief can use your quirk better than you? did phantom thief frequently copy your quirk during your time at u.a.? is there any reason you were struggling today, h/n? what’s your relationship with the phantom thief? 

that last question makes you perk up. your eyes sparkle with devilish intent - monoma recognizes it all too well - as you smile at the reporters. he feels like he’s going to regret having chosen to mess with you today as you start talking. “oh, isn’t he a sweetheart?” you hum and monoma feels his face light up because that was not the direction he was expecting from you. he wants to tell you to cut it out, to shut up for both of your sakes’ - but, god, he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t even the tiniest bit curious what else you were going to say about him. “he’s just so worried about me all the time, i can’t even go a minute without him clinging to my side.” 

okay, now it was time to stop you; he chimes in, “ha, very funny, h/n. actually-” 

gasps from the reporters holding the cameras interrupt him. it was funny how he seemed to almost forget how the press operates - how rumors spread quicker than a forest fire. 

“how long have you and h/n been friends?” “are you and h/n dating?” “have you two been hiding your relationship from the public?” “you’re gay!?” “is what h/n said true?” they question and question and question and it feels like he’s the one in police custody with how they’re interrogating him and analyzing every movement of his. 

monoma’s trying to calm them down with one-word answers-that-aren’t-technically-answers as you watch on in amusement. you bring a hand to your face as you stifle a laugh; he’s trying so hard to maintain a cool, suave personality in front of the cameras but the way he’s stumbling over his words and flushing isn’t helping his case. “really- h/n and i aren’t dating, just really good friends,” he swears to the camera. the way he’s clasping his hands together makes it look like he’s begging for them to believe it.

they don’t. 

“since our graduation from u.a. - come on, dear, don’t be so shy.” you tease and you swear he’s somehow even redder than he was before. you’re not sure if it’s from embarrassment or from being way too flustered or if it’s both but you’re having a grand old time as the attention now shifts to both of you. smoothly, you place your hands on his shoulders and lean into him as you answer their questions, “we try not to let it get in the way of our hero work, but he was in the area and couldn’t help but check in on me. it just so happened i was in a pursuit; he’s really such a sweetheart, isn’t he?” 

he splutters. he’s looking at the cameras and then at you and then the cameras - the way monoma is staring wide-eyed and flushed only seems to further prove your statement. “c’mon hun, can’t you give them a smile?” you coo and suddenly he remembers where he is and who he is. 

for a moment, his mind lingers on how nice it feels for you to call him petnames like that. 

monoma masks any unnecessary feelings - he’ll deal with those later - and puts that suave smile on again for all to see. “i tend to get carried away when i notice h/n could be in danger,” he feigns worry as he turns to you; monoma moves your hands off his shoulders and into his own so quickly you’re almost taken aback. “you’re okay, aren’t you, bunny?” 

oh, he’s in for it now. 

you pinch at his cheek - an almost loving gesture, if it weren’t for how roughly you were doing so - and try to smile with some semblance of a worried boyfriend. “aren’t you adorable?” you mock and monoma looks like he’s going to bite your hand off as you pull it away from him. “i’m perfectly fine thanks to you.” 

he brings the back of your clasped hands to his lips and plants a soft kiss to them. “only for you, mon chéri,” monoma finds himself answering. even as you hear the camera shutters clicking in the crowd, you falter at how natural it feels to have monoma with you like this. he has no reason to be such a sweet-talker.

“so cute!” someone in the crowd cries out; your gaze meets monoma’s and he’s staring at you with so much love in his eyes you almost forget you were just trying to mess with him. 

have you ever noticed how pretty monoma’s eyes were, before? they look so.. so… 

stupid! you interrupt your own thoughts, shaking your head and pulling your hand away from the other with an overdramatic huff. it was your turn to blush as he wrapped an arm around you and continued answering questions with ease. how does he do that? this casual intimacy? you two are barely friends - much less dating - and now that you’ve decided to fuck with him, he’s the one that’s fine with it!? 

he’s almost amused at how well you fit inside his arms before he’s trying to dismiss the thought entirely - you’re trying your best to calm yourself as he holds you close. monoma almost finds himself enjoying your proximity. almost. 

“would you two be willing to kiss for the camera?” a voice chimes in from the crowd. 

you’re still trying to process the question as you look between monoma and this small-time photographer holding up their camera with unimaginable excitement. before you can muster a no, monoma answers first with a, “sure!” 

wait, what? 

he’s already pulled you into a soft kiss with his hand on your chin. monoma’s touch is so gentle, it’s almost tender - loving, even. you find yourself strangely feeling like something’s missing as he pulls away. the way his lips slotted against yours or how he seemed so caring with how he did it; you’re sure he’s had practice. 

you don’t push the feeling away this time. 

“thank you so much,” the photographer calls back out and you’re reminded what this is for - publicity. you almost feel embarrassed as you turn away from monoma with a horribly flushed face. why did you let yourself think that this was anything more than that? publicity, publicity, publicity. that’s all monoma cares about. that kiss didn’t mean anything no matter how nice it felt! 

you miss how pleased monoma looks with himself and the lop-sided, annoying smile that tugs at the corners of his lips. 

“well, i’ll see you later, h/n,” he hums and starts to walk away and you miss the warmth of his hand in yours nearly immediately. “stay safe, honey!” 

and he’s walking away to make sure those robbers are safely in police custody, leaving you to the vultures that are the press. monoma hopes nobody notices the way his heart feels like it’s going to pound out of his chest. he thinks he’ll see if he can get your number from kendo when he’s off-patrol.

© cyupie   do not plagiarize, translate, feed to ai, or repost my works to any other websites

[calissto]

On Writing Every Day

Possibly the most ubiquitous piece of writing advice: write everyday. Write every day or you’re not a writer, your work has no value, you’ll never get good, you’ll never go pro. Maybe I am at a bit of a disadvantage because I’ve never published a book, but I feel like I have some place to question this motion. 

Don’t write every day. Write often.

Because I agree; writing is like a muscle; you must train it. You have to exercise your vocabulary, your voice, your prose — all as often as you can. It’s essential. But you can do all of these things without gluing yourself to the chair each and every day. Some of us just can’t do that — some of us have obligations; a job, school, sickness, or emergencies. Things come up. And some of us just don’t want to. And that’s okay, too. 

I say write often because it’s a promise you can keep. No matter how pressed for time, you can construct a schedule around often. You can stick to that. Practice becomes joyous instead of overwhelming. You will improve without being weighed down by guilt clouding your judgment, adding on to the already compounding series of worries and doubts you have about your identity as a writer anyway. 

Often can look like this: every other day, a few days a week, a few days a month. Often is up to you. It’s a malleable guideline, and that’s why I like it. It’s about constant practice — routinely coming to dance with your writerly spirit without letting it die nor allowing it to overshadow everything else you are. You can be a writer and other things, too. It’s essential you are other things, too, otherwise you pigeonhole yourself and dull any unique perspective you may bring to the vast, ever-broadening literary table. Have something to share with your peers. Something to bestow. Besides, some of us have dreams besides writing we would like to pursue, and we have every right to pursue them. 

I think writing (well) is so demanding we sometimes forget writing is an incredibly forgiving art. It doesn’t usually feel like it. Writing is difficult (because it is everything) and mystifying and capricious. It feels like the most unforgiving art (because it is: it can be forgiving and unforgiving all at the same time, because it is everything). The muse coquettishly woos us one day then sets us on fire the next. You can have amazing ideas and, propelled by the whirlwind it conjures in your mind, sit down to write and hate everything you put down. The inner critic can be restricting, mean, impossible to satisfy. Plots can get dizzyingly convoluted and messy (and sometimes they don’t come at all! Yay!), wips take years and decades to perfect. You can spend hours, days, weeks, months, years in confusion as to what the fuck you’re even meant to be doing in order to make your story work. Just thinking about all this makes me tired. Writing can be grueling.

But it is also forgiving. 

We can take our time. We can fix our stories again and again and again. We can wait until we're ready for the world to see it.

A contradictory mistress, writing is. The truth is your writing hands will not fall off if you choose to take some time off. You do not really forget to write creatively. Oh, you can get rusty, and it can take some time to get your groove back, but the talent you’ve accumulated (and, perhaps, have been born with) does not evaporate out of thin air just because you step away from your word processor. I, myself, have stepped away from writing for large swaths of time only to return just as strong as I was before. If this is indeed a problem for you, I suggest reading more often — just so you can remain close to writing without actually doing it. You can stay familiar and play with language and characters and plotting without actually doing anything— watch essays on movies and characters. Stay engaged. Don’t feel like your talents will be irrevocably blunted by a break, no matter how long it is.

I often think writers are their own jailers, while other writers you associate with and look up to can function as fellow wardens; what exactly is gonna happen if you don’t write everyday? I’ve come to really detest writing “rules.” There are no rules — they aren’t even rules to be broken. There are guidelines and things that have worked in the past. The trick is to learn what has worked for others, why, and what works for you. Mix and match at your own discretion. The life of a writer is often a solitary, lonesome affair. Not just because you do it yourself, but because you are your own god; a huge part of being a writer is fashioning things for yourself, coming up with your own rules, if you dare to call them as such. You conjure up worlds for your own amusement. So, the way we find ourselves chained to the so-called rules and those who espouse them has become kinda hilarious to me.

Also, go ahead and accept this: a lot of what defines good writing is completely out of your hands. What is popular and lauded as a masterpiece today may be rejected and ignored tomorrow. There are principles to help you bridge the gap of generations — compelling characters, thoughtful plotting, and, oh, idk, basic understanding of storytelling elements etc, but we all will have our own personal talents as writers. Rest assured, you’ll be an acquired taste, so go ahead and study your own talents and strengths as a word person. What are the things you love about writing? What do you like to zero in on? What do you look forward to? Focus on those things, and just try to have a basic grasp of other, essential things.

The point is this: if writing really is that important to you, it will be in your life somehow. You won’t have to make room so much as it will wedge itself into one of the movie theater seats in your mind. Your mind will wander to your wips. You’ll think of your characters at random times. You’ll picture your settings and scenes will just randomly come to you. Don’t worry about it so much! Write often, stay engaged, but if you need a break, take one.

[silviakundera]

Snowfall ep watch comments 13-15

Keeping it real with his nickname, Loser Li doesn't have the balls to join Team Vamp

Sorry dude, this would never happen to Elena Gilbert

Fun ass escape & fight scenes as our trio trash the train and escape in a field. The search in the field of tall grass as night closes in feels very 80s-00s vampire movie

Once AGAIN Loser Li punks out. This guy 😂😭 I love his constant, unrelenting failure

Look, the way Doctor Bestie realized he had to step up, because Mi Lan was injured & his bro distracted. TIME & PLACE, thank you.

He got close to making it thru this adventure without exposing himself but finally it was clear poor Vamp Daddy couldn't handle this one his own.

I both kinda do feel for Vamp Daddy's angst about his brother in disguise but also I'm too attached to them, so I'm just impatient for him to get over it and accept his only existing (and only mildly evil!!) relative

The brown leather coat is just not as suave a look for Loser Li. Return to your roots!

Oh good.

Henchman makes potentially his only smart move in the drama, to come plead for nep baby to rescue his crush. Li Yingliang looovesssss you! so muchhhhhh! it's ALL FOR YOU.

Our unhinged, unstable cyclone of insecurity & homosexuality emerges from the dungeon to fail another day! Good job, everyone.

"What ill intentions could a young boy in his hundreds have?" lol I love mysterious old guy

Sorry I'm unreasonably & unfairly on Doctor Bestie's side - kick his ass and settle him down. Vampires gotta stick together.

So doc is "complete" and Vamp Daddy, though made with the Blood Amber Stone, isn't? 🤔 Interesting. (ok not really lol, I'm not a 'lore' person)

Doctor Bestie cracked me up with his whole, I know all about equality in the modern age! I went to university! Look, he's probably more than a il evil but I like him SO MUCH, so can you just relent Vamp Daddy?

Otherwise WE might stop being friends. And that would be sad :(

All jokes aside, I do have the lingering feeling that Li Yingliang is being written as queer and the actor is playing it that way. Look at the way he is with his henchman too! It's just.... not like the vibe we see among other similar characters. They've fucked. More than once. And henchman told himself it's all fine between 'lonely' 1930s men, because they'll eventually take wives.

idk Vamp Daddy, I would have accepted the help of mysterious ancient master guy against a pursuing ARMY.

or maybe not kicked out my powerful brother.

Mi Lan knows what's up: stop the navel gazing emo and just get warm, eat well, and spend time with your loved ones.

Flashback to aftermath of Shen mansion massacre. Awful times had by all. Nobody thought burning alive a supernatural mom and her small child might have consequences. They did. Shen patriarch is like whyyyyy. His almost barbecued wife: r u 4 real?

Similarly, in modern remains of Shen mansion a bunch of people ambush Vamp Daddy and his gf, shoot her in the chest, so he goes murdery.

Then vamps her! YAY 🙌

Now you and doctor bestie just need to make up and find a way to extend your life too.

All hail Mi Lan's vampire awakening. Good stuff. Love the goth attire.

Also absolutely adorable and glowing in the bath

This is like Caroline in The Vampire Diaries, who was simply born to be a vampire and took to it like a duck to water. I want her to hang out more with the doctor. They can enjoy vampirism together.

Now that Vamp Daddy has healed Barely Legal Girlfriend, can we get (1) one more bloody kiss? Pretty pretty please? 🙏🙏🙏

Everyone but his henchman bf is hella pissed at Loser Li for being incapable.

This does not seem fair, as it's his defining quality 🤔

[mikanotes]

remains

denji x gn!reader — 1.7k words

genre: angst comfort, platonic (probably)

warnings: csm pt1 spoilers, mentions of death, grief, anxiety, not really canon compliant (written before pt2 came out), talks of marriage, suicidal ideation and depression.

synopsis: the aftermaths of denji’s time as a public safety devil hunter, and the pain that comes with.

author’s note: edited repost from an old sideblog of mine because it was too good. i wrote it before part two came out so obviously a lot might seem ooc bare with me please and thank you… that’s all actually. yay!

Denji steps out of his apartment, sighing and shaking his backpack on his back a little. He sighs and huffs and does all sorts of disgruntled expressions as he walks down the stairs.

“Nayuta, hurry up already.” he yells, jogging down. The girl sighs in annoyance as she closes the door to their apartment.

You laugh as you watch them bickering while they walk down. Once they reach the streetwalk, Denji’s face lights up.

“Finally!” he exclaims, smiling widely. He runs up to you with an exaggerated crying expression and open arms, before engulfing you into a suffocating hug. “I missed you!”

“It’s been two days.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

He pulls away and smiles still. You chuckle and shake your head, before turning to his little sister. “Hi, Nayuta.”

“School.” she says, before walking away. You stare at her with furrowed eyebrows before turning to Denji.

“Uh?”

“Kobeni takes her to school now.” he says, blankly, “She needed a job. She’s still broke.”

“And you’re not?”

Denji makes an exaggerated shrug of his shoulders and begins walking away in the direction of the path to your high school. You shake your head to ignore the hundred questions you have to ask and run up to catch up to him.

For over five months now, Denji has been silent.

Sometimes, he’s overbearingly loud and present— Makes a show out of reminding everyone around him that he exists. He’s joyful, and acts like his stupid, idiot teenager boy self. It’s Denji. It’s him. But it’s different. He’s craving attention; he’s craving comfort, company. He was alone before and he was used to it, but then he got a family, love and company, and it was all ripped away from him— his life— so fast and easily, like it meant nothing. He needed someone. Something. To hold onto.

And so sometimes he’s dreadfully quiet. He doesn’t say a word and practically only replies to questions with nods, shakes of his head or hums. He mumbles his way through his sentences and walks to school like heavy chains are on his feet. He’s visibly unwell. He doesn’t really sleep. It shows on his face— and Nayuta told you.

He misses Aki and Power.

Makima, almost. In spite of everything.

He misses the daydream that his reality had become, for a while.

And he’s quiet when you walk to school. You know he’s glad to have you with him because you were part of the Public Safety Devil Hunters, but you attended high-school at the same time. That meant once he finally enrolled, he wasn’t alone. Yoshida Hirofumi was there, too, but he wasn’t in the same grade and he was also deemed “creepy” by Denji, which earned him a lighthearted hit to the back of his head. The point is that Denji is glad he isn’t alone, and that someone from what one could call his previous life is still there. Alive. Standing. Doing well. Someone who knows about everything, and who won’t ask about anything. Someone who understands him without needing him to talk.

You.

“You’re crying.” you say after a good fifteen minutes of silence and walking to school. Denji is looking ahead and only wipes his tears with the back of his hand.

“Not.”

“Sure are.”

“Shut up.”

You don’t mention it again. Not even when you hear him try to stifle his sobs during fifth period at school. Not when he spaces out and doesn’t eat his lunch to stare out the window without moving. You figure he needs time, still.

When the school day ends, he walks slowly as he exits the gates. You look at him from a few meters back and think for a moment, before jogging up to him.

“I’m staying over at your apartment today.” you say, walking ahead of him and skipping through your steps. You hear a familiar scoff and then him running up to catch up to you.

“No, you’re not.” he scoffs, walking next to you with his arms crossed. You look at him with raised eyebrows and he side-eyes you. He sighs quietly, pursing his lips. “… Will you help me cook? Nayuta keeps complaining.”

You scoff in victory and hold up your fist. He bumps his own into it.

“Deal.” “Deal.”

So you stay there the whole night.

You cook some instant ramen Denji has because you’re actually not much of a better cook than him, but it seems Nayuta prefers it when you’re the one who makes it. He sits on a chair next to you and dully watches you cook. You turn to look at him, “What’s up?” you ask, and he shrugs.

“Can we, like, get married, or something?“

“The hell?”

He shrugs again and closes his eyes, sinking down on his chair. “I dunno. I’m like, alone, y’know. I don’t know, I just think it’d be nice having you over more often. And the kid likes you. I just thought about it.”

You laugh because marriage is so far-fetched when he could just ask you to be roommates. You know marriage’s an oath— You’re supposed to be together forever, or something. Denji probably thinks it means security. To stay with you. To not be alone ever again, even if it wouldn’t change much from what you already have and you both know that. You know that what he’s trying to say is that it’s harder than he pretends to live alone. To live alone again. Nayuta isn’t enough to complete the hole that Aki and Power’s death left in his chest. And as innocent as she is, she reminds him of the nightmare that destroyed all of it. Makima. Sometimes, he purposefully takes too long to come back home after class so Kobeni takes care of her longer and he can spend longer without seeing those damned eyes, even if it means paying Kobeni double. You know because when he isn’t staying alone in some street, he’s with you in a park or at your place.

“We’re not getting married, you fucking idiot.” you mumble, laughing still as you pour the ramen into three bowls. You exhale and focus your gaze on the food, “I’ll just come over more often.”

“I don’t want you coming over more oftennnnn.” he damn-near whines, “You piss me off.”

“You said you wanna get married.”

“Yeah, but still.”

You scoff and bring the food on the counter. “Nayuta. The food’s ready.” you say, and the girl looks from her spot on the floor, where she lies down on her stomach while reading a manga magazine. The dogs seem to all wake up at the same time as she gets up. There’s sliced bread on the side of her bowl and she takes it with her teeth before walking off with the bowl in hands. The dogs follow her.

Denji turns on his chair and leans his arms on the counter before putting his head on them. He stares at the side of his bowl and you lean against the counter, taking your own. You mix the ramen with your chopsticks a bit and sigh.

“You should eat.” you say.

“I will.” he says.

“Before it gets cold. Or else you’ll complain.” you add. He sighs and gets up enough to spin his chair so it faces the counter and sits back down, before eating. He finishes the bowl pretty fast and then he’s back to leaning on the surface of the counter. You tilt your head. “The…” you hesitate, “The dogs should probably go out for a bit, right? Wanna go walk them together?”

He nods a bit.

Nayuta falls asleep. You head out with the dogs. Denji holds half of them, you the other. The night is cold. Denji doesn’t seem to mind, or to realize. You’re not sure.

You walk to a small bench next to a vending machine. You sit down and Denji buys drinks. He hands you your favorite and keeps his own in hand. The dogs are seemingly enjoying the night breeze much more than you are. You’re cold.

“You know.” Denji begins, “I came here after Aki died. This exact fuckin’ place. I ate ice cream. And Makima found me, somehow. And she brought me to her place. That’s where I met those dogs for the first time, too.”

You hum.

“Then she killed Power.” he says.

You nod slowly.

There’s silence and it isn’t uncomfortable but it’s heavy. If you couldn’t feel Denji’s grief before it was all you could feel now. Like it hung in the air, suffocating. You knew Aki, and you were acquainted with Power. But you didn’t know either of them half as much as Denji did.

It hurt when they died, but not half as much as it did for Denji.

You could feel his hurt now. It made you wonder how he kept living. It was grief so terribly painful and overwhelming that anyone would rather kill themselves than keep enduring it. But Denji was… Denji. You figured he was just different. Nothing really new.

“I thought to myself, I killed Aki.” he says, then sighs like it was hard to breathe properly, “So it was easy for me to think the same for Power, y’know? ‘It’s my fault. I killed them’.”

“I understand.”

“Mhm.”

He uncaps his can of soda and drinks around half of it in one go.

You two go back home.

The dogs went to sleep fast, Nayuta was still asleep, and Denji was worn out. So you cleaned up the place, put his coat on the coat hanger for him, and put his shoes properly at the entrance where he’d taken them off messily. You put a blanket on him and readjust the one on Nayuta. Then you lay down next to Denji.

He opens his eyes a bit and just looks at you. There’s silence. He hugs you and hides his face in the crook of your neck.

“We should really get married.”

“No.”

“Man. Fuck you.”

He holds you, still, and you hold him. He fell asleep before you did. You spent a while carding your fingers through his hair and rubbing his back, making sure he was really asleep. Making sure he wouldn’t suddenly jump because of a nightmare (it had happened before). And then you allowed yourself to fall asleep.

When the sun was up and you were all awake, Denji was back to being loud. You figured he was okay. It was enough for now. He was alright.

[olliandre]

10 TOP RANKED THAI BL ON MYDRAMALIST

+my opinion, since I’ve watched all of them for this post

1. I Feel You Linger in the Air (8,9/10)

DESCRIPTION: Jom is an architect responsible for the renovation of a historic house alongside the Ping River. There he discovers a wooden chest packed with old drawings, drawings that look strangely familiar. The contents are intriguing. However, Jom doesn't have time to concern himself with them; he has plans to reunite with his boyfriend. For years, Jom has been counting the days till his boyfriend would return from his far away studies, only to find him engaged to someone else on his return. Heartbroken, Jom comes to a place of acceptance as he mistakenly runs his car into the river. In the cold darkness, Jom catches the sweet scent of fresh frangipani flowers coming from the stream and in the distance, he can make out a deep, gentle voice pronouncing clearly, "Pho Jom."

MY TAKE: Well deserved first place. It’s the best Thai drama I’ve ever seen and I really hope we’ll get more like this one in the future. Everything was on point - the costumes, the acting, the cinematography. The relationship between the main characters felt real and absolutely believe, especially thanks to P’Bright (Khun Yai), who delievered everything well through his eyes. The story made me emotional to the point I cried like a baby at the end, which didn’t happen for a really long time. To be honest, I could rewatch this series without ever getting bored because of how unique and heartwarming it was. If I were to criticise anything, I’d choose the fact that Jom seemed quite bland during the first few episodes and also the way Khun Yai wasn’t cautious at all with their relationship despite living around the 1920s. However, it can be explained by some things from the novel, which I’m considering to write a post about. Aside from the romance plot, IFYLITA discussed the topic of women’s opression and offered a lesbian sub-plot that made the story even better. I recommend everyone to watch it, it’s ridiculous how little recognition the series got from the BL fandom!

2. The Sign (8,6/10)

DESCRIPTION: For as long as Tharn can remember, he's had premonitions about those around him, sensing both the good and the bad. Partners on a team of special investigators, when kind and cheerful Tharn met clever and charming Phaya, it felt as though they'd known each other for a long time.

MY TAKE: Another gem showing that the industry is slowly heading to a new, better direction. The plot contains lots of action scenes, investigations and Thai mythology elements, which I don’t think have been used in any series before, at least not in a well known one. I’m a sucker for reinarnation and soulmates motives, I wish Tharn and Phaya believed in each other more though. It was frustrating to see them fight so much. Some of the comedy scenes made me cringe, too. Still, the story was solid and engaging, especially thanks to Tharn and Phaya’s relationship complexity. During some scenes CGI was used and I have to admit they must have spent some budget on it. It’s the third Idolfactory’s drama and they definitely get better with every project. More series like The Sign!

3. Last Twilight (8,5/10)

DESCRIPTION: Burdened with heavy debt, Mhok, a technical college student, applies for a high-paying job as a caregiver to Day, a badminton player with partial blindness due to infectious keratitis. Day hires Mhok who—unlike other applicants—seems to take no pity on him. With so much time spent in each others' company, the two develop a deep bond. When Day learns he'll have approximately 90 days until he loses what vision he has remaining, how will the two weather the trials ahead?

MY TAKE: I’m gonna be honest, I fell in love with Last Twilight very quickly. The acting was top-notch - I think P’Sea portrayed a blind character really well despite having vision and P’Jimmy… P’Jimmy was just on another level of greatness. Just like P’Bright, his eyes told everything. Every emotion could be seen clearly and he efortlessly made Mhok the viewer’s favourite. Mhok itself was a mature, selfless person, but with Jimmy’s portrayal I think it’s even harder not to love him, not be enchanted by him. I found the story heartwarming and moving, beautifully culminating in the last scene of the 9th episode. At that moment I’ve felt that both Day and Mhok’s journey found some sort of an ending, maybe terribly sad, but also with some sweetness in it. Throughout the whole series it was Mhok teaching Day how to live again after losing his sight and encouraging him to stand on his own legs again. In the 9th episode though it seemed like the dynamic shifted somehow, showing that Day reached some maturity that Mhok haven’t had yet, and that he could help him with his grief too. The whole message of Last Twilight was delivered fully then. However, what happened later completely ruined it. I understand that P’Aof wanted LT to be realistic and because of that he decided to face the fact that Mhok can’t be Day’s caretaker forever. But all of this was handled poorly, seemed rushed especially after 11 episode and I couldn’t bear to watch one of my favourite series trashing itself. After that it was also imposible to ignore the issues I had with Mhok and Day’s relationship anymore, especially the August plot. I hated how although Day showed huge interest in Mhok on the beginning, he suddenly revealed his crush on other boy and he seemed really bothered by Mhok’s confession, too. What a mess. Porjai and Night’s subplot was great though, I liked both the characters and their relationship. I recommend everyone to just watch episodes 1-9 despite some disappointments on the way.

4. Not Me (8,5/10)

DESCRIPTION: Black and White are twins with a powerful connection. After their parents' separation, though, White’s father took him abroad, and their family effectively severed in two. It isn’t until fifteen years have passed that White—now grown—returns to Thailand. One day, seemingly from nowhere, White feels an agony like death. He recovers in the hospital, but they’re unable to determine the cause. Then he picks up a call from a childhood friend, Tod. Tod tells him that Black is in a coma following a vicious attack, and he learns that Black is in a motorcycle gang. Unable to endure the harm done to his brother in silence, and suspecting it was one of Black’s close friends—Sean, Gram, or Yok—who betrayed him, White disguises himself as Black to root out the traitor. But White doesn’t know his brother as well as he thought; he’s not behaving like the Black Sean knows, distrustful and uncaring about the feelings of others. Sean's suspicious. The difference gets under Sean's skin and makes him feel things he shouldn’t.

MY TAKE: I’ve actually first started watching Not Me around the time it was coming out, but I became bored around the half of it, so I’ve seen the rest of the episodes just recently. It’s refreshing to receive a politics and society problems oriented BL, this series without doubt was mature and one of a kind. Not Me took on many issues the modern Thailand still faces, struggling with democracy, human rights and equality. The relationship between White and Sean was another difficult thing here with its complexity, as they faced their opposite ideas for making a change - Sean being more reckless and hotheaded, while White more rational and fragile mentally. They went through many stages and although they were allies, it’d call it an enemies to lovers dynamic. I felt connected to both of them - to White because I agreed with his methods more and to Sean because of his abandonment issues. What they had was not pretty, no, it was raw and even rough at times, however, they managed to build mutual trust and the ending was satisfying. Definitely recommend!

5. A Tale of Thousand Stars (8,5/10)

DESCRIPTION: After a volunteer teacher Torfun dies in a tragic accident, her heart is transplanted into Tian. Tian learns about his donor’s life through a series of diary entries that reveal her secrets and interests. Included is her promise to count a thousand stars with Chief Forest Officer Phupha. Tian decides to follow in Torfun's footsteps and fulfill her promise. Now a new volunteer teacher himself, Tian attempts to befriend Phupha who initially gives him the cold shoulder. As the two grow steadily closer, Tian notices his new heart beats quickly whenever he's near the officer. Much like the heart’s previous owner, Tian cannot help but fall for Phupha. Treading on dangerous ground, can he still go through with the thousand-star promise?

MY TAKE: It’s such a classic that I don’t know if there’s anyone who hasn’t heard of it yet, but let’s proceed! 1000 stars for years took a special place in my heart, as it was one of few good Thai BL during the time it came out. I loved the rural atmosphere of Pha Pun Dao and the process of Tian adapting to life in the village. The story was slow, warm and sort of pure, although the tension and chemistry were there. Big kudos for the scene in which Tian came to the conclusion that his feelings for Phupha mean he likes men, since that wasn’t a standard in the „I don’t like men, I only like you” era. Another thing is, P’Mix (Tian), who was a rookie back then, played his role so well that I would never suspect it’s his first time acting! Recommend for anyone seeking comfort, even if it gets sad by the end.

6. My School President (8,5/10)

DESCRIPTION: Student body president Tinn has a secret crush on Gun, the head of the music club and lead singer of the middling band Chinzhilla. The son of the principal, Tinn is instructed to axe any clubs that don't boost their school's reputation. The music club tops that list and Tinn is therefore Gun's number one enemy. Desperate to save his club, Gun will do anything, even pledge servitude to Tinn. When Tinn learns Chinzhilla has a rule that band members aren't permitted to date until they win the Hot Wave Music Contest, he vows to do whatever it takes to help them do just that.

MY TAKE: At first the fact that the story takes place in a high school setting put me off, as I prefer watching young adult stories, but I gave it a shot because of the good reviews. And after watching it I can say it was definitely worth it. My School President is a silly rom-com that delicately touches some more serious issues. Nevertheless, it was a light watch. N'Gemini and N'Fourth delievered an excellent performance, accurately and realistically portraying the main couple. Maybe it’s because they are just slightly older than the characters, so it was easier for them to understand them. I also still listen to MSP soundtracks. Aside from being simply good pieces of music, they make me feel positive and refreshed everytime I hear them. It’s like an energizer.

7. Bad Buddy (8,4/10)

DESCRIPTION: Ever since they were young, Pran and Pat's families had a deep and raging rivalry, trying to one-up each other on everything. This also extended to their sons. Comparing their sons' achievements and merits,—whether it be academic or extracurricular—the two families leave no stone unturned to outshine and gloat in front of the other. The rivalry was passed down as a family heirloom and the two boys become rivals in turn. Until... they grow tired and become friends. Really good friends. However, because of their families' rivalry, their friendship has to be kept under wraps. And so began a journey of secret friendship... and then perhaps a secret romance?

MY TAKE: This is another series I’ve dropped in half and picked up just recently. Although the entire enemies since birth plot seemed a little bit Wattpad-ish to me, I’ve still enjoyed Bad Buddy a lot. The relationship of Pat and Pran was fun and realistic, they also had good chemistry together, probably due to the actor’s long-lasting frienship. There was something about them that just seemed so natural. Big plus for verse rights and lesbian sub-plot. The only thing I’m not content with was that instead of working things through with their families, the scriptwriters decided to just make Pat and Pran lie and avoid the topic. It could have been handled in a better way.

8. Moonlight Chicken (8,3/10)

DESCRIPTION: Jim is an ordinary guy running a Hainanese chicken rice diner. One night, he meets breezy Wen when he stays past closing drunk. Brought together by fate that night, intangible feelings arise. Neither can stop thinking about the other despite Jim's efforts to remain unattached. Working at the diner are Jim's nephew Li Ming, Saleng, and occasionally chicken supplier Kaipa who doesn't mind having an excuse to see him.

MY TAKE: I’m a Chinese learner and liked P’Earth and P’Mix’s performance in 1000 stars a lot, so I was looking forward for Moonlight Chicken to come out. The relationship between Jim and Wen disappointed me a bit, as it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. They started off from a one night stand and Jim was doing everything he could to keep things this way, with Wen persistently trying to change his mind. I’m still happy though, because the series maturely portrayed real life problems of Thai people. Jim, as an adult, was a person tied by chores and responsibilities of a restaurant owner and legal guardian for his teenager nephew. It’s understandable for him to take more things than just his feelings into consideration, especially since he was older than Wen. The problems between them made the series even more realistic, but N’Gemini (Heart) and N’Fourth (Li Ming) undoubtebly stole this show from the main couple. Not good for people wanting to watch something romantic and fluffy, nevertheless, still good.

9. Triage (8,3/10)

DESCRIPTION: Third-year emergency medicine resident Tin has to cope with a deluge of different patients every day. Up until the eighteenth, that is. Tin's life is transformed when university student Tol's car is overturned, and he's rushed to the emergency room in serious condition. That night doesn't end when Tin fails to save Tol's life, though. When Tin next wakes, he finds himself in a time loop, a loop he won't be able to leave until he's altered Tol's fate.

MY TAKE: Triage was a slowburn and it took quite a few episodes for the main couple to start developing feelings, as the time loops didn’t help in building any kind of closeness. They had good chemistry though and I really liked the performance of every actor in this series. Also! The! Plot! It was truly a masterpiece. It turned out that Triage novel is another work of Manner of Death’s author and that those two are actually connected. Doctor Bun and Tan appear in one episode of Triage and if MoD season 2 actually happens, it will be a continuation of the mystery after Triage’s ending. About the ending itself, it wasn’t satisfying. Also, why do I feel like they got some inspiration from the movie Bruce Almighty?

10. To Sir, With Love (8,3/10)

DESCRIPTION: The Five Dragon Guild is under the leadership of Jao Sua Song. He's skilled and in control in business, but things in the family have become chaotic. By his main wife Li, he has his eldest son Thian. He has a secondary wife Jan with whom he has a son named Yang and he has a mistress named Bua. In a Chinese family, masculinity is prized. Thian is the face of the family, the one who will eventually succeed Song, who will carry the power his father has built. Khun Chai is not a position just anyone is suited to. The love between two men is obstructed by Chinese society.

MY TAKE: Everthing was good here - the acting, the costumes, the setting... a high quality series indeed. I especially loved brotherly bond between Tian and Yang, as it was the purest and the most wholesome thing in this drama. The murder plot was interesting too. However, all of this was simply too prolonged. Because everyone for 17 1-hour episodes straight was running around and trying to find that Tian’s homosexual, they may as well just name the series Tian’s secret. I got sick of it around 9th episode and there were still 8 more. It’s a pity that it completely ruined To Sir, With Love for me. Tian and Jiu, the main couple, didn’t receive many screentime, so it was quite unsatisfying too.

[there will be a link to 11-15 in the future]

[simmeons]

thirteenth story for @badthingshappenbingo's bingo :)

characters; Montgomery Scott, Leonard McCoy, Pavel Chekov, some guy named Dexter and some unnamed crew

words; 1,544

warnings; getting stabbed, Scotty is STILL killin these hoes, descriptions of injuries, more blood yay, guns(?? they're phasers but) and animal attack (Scotty is said animal)

prompt; Stabbing

FYI; this is a continuation of THIS story!!! friendly reminder this is the Mirror Verse- people are assholes! fuck em all!!!

Scotty roared in anger as the doors closed, slamming his fists against the walls of the turbolift. He slammed his back against the metal once, twice, his scaled body scraping against it as he slid down to the floor of the turbolift.

He was trapped, and it was all that damn stupid doctor's fault.

Forced to wait, Scotty stirred in his anger as he waited for the turbolift to continue its journey before the doors opened, leaving Scotty to leave the turbolift. He looked around cautiously, having to move his whole head to look around due to only having one. No matter- the sea monster pushed himself up onto his hind legs, standing more like a human again.

Scotty prowled through the empty corridors, his breaths deep and heavy, the air tinged with the coppery scent of blood still lingering on his scales. All the doors were locked, and the turbolifts he was coming across were closed too. The one he was trapped in seemed to be the last one able to operate during the lockdown, but stopped when he was let out.

There was a soft whimpering he heard, and his head poked around a corner.

There was a woman laying on the floor, a very pregnant one at that. She looked up, terror filling her eyes as she saw the large hulking sea monster, red blood looking black against his scales in the lighting.

“Please…” She begged, tears filling her eyes as he tried to crawl away. The other crewmen must've simply shoved past her and left her for dead. “Don't hurt me. Please, I'm begging…”

Scotty’s eye looked over her trembling form, seeing how she was rendered practically useless. His breathing was ragged when looking at her, watching as she pleaded helplessly. He remained still, watching her like a predator before a thudding sound made his head whirl around.

Footsteps. More than just one pair of them, no less.

Abandoning the easy prey, Scotty turned from the woman and made his way to the sound.

---------------------------

“Stay with me, Pavel,” McCoy urged. “You’re gonna be okay. Just keep your eyes open, alright?”

Chekov managed a weak nod, his breathing shallow and ragged. “I’m sorry, Doctor… I didn’t mean to…”

“Shh, don’t talk.” The doctor interrupted, his tone firm but gentle. “Just focus on staying awake. We’re gonna get you to Sickbay, and you’re gonna be fine. You hear me?”

The ensign nodded as McCoy kept wrapping the wounds the best he could with the pocket roll of bandages he had. The blaring alarm had stopped on their floor of the ship, allowing some relief. Doors were open too, allowing some other trained medical crewmen to come help. It was a rough patch job, but with more hands on board, McCoy was able to get Chekov more ready for Sickbay. They just had to carry him to a turbolift and go down a floor. Thankfully McCoy had gotten Scotty trapped elsewhere so this rescue mission was 10 times easier.

Chekov made a noise of pain as he was lifted up by several doctors, having to do it the old way since stretchers only went out from Sickbay. McCoy felt bad for the man, but he couldn't hide the inner thrill of it all. His favorite experiment had gone absolutely ballistic- and it was glorious.

He had wondered if Scotty had it in him. He was always an ass, but usually remained docile. But now he was acting like a wild animal without any form of self control. His only regret was not being there to watch him really let loose. He would've been able to fend off Scotty much better than Chekov.

---------------------------

The footsteps were growing closer, and Scotty was remaining as hidden away as he could. Hunkered down to the floor he was frozen in place, ears occasionally twitching as the sound grew closer.

“Where is he?” A man asked aloud, fear clear in his voice.

A female responded. “I feel like we're in an Alien movie.”

There was a scoff in return. “Don't joke like that. A man was seriously injured because of this.”

Scotty poked his head out just enough to steal a glance. The two people- no, 3 of them, were clearly security. Two women and a man. Ginger male, around 20ish years old, and the two women looked similar- brunette hair and slim figure.

“I agree with Dexter,” The previously quiet girl replied. “This is serious, sis.”

“Hey, don't worry! We have phasers, and he doesn't.” The sister nudged the other. “We have an advantage. We just have to be careful, okay?”

Scotty's single eye narrowed as he watched the security team make their way cautiously down the corridor. They were tense, weapons drawn, but they were also distracted by their conversation. The sea monster's nostrils flared as he took in their scent, thinking of what to do.

They were growing closer to his hiding spot- a closet he had pried the doors open on- so he needed to lay and wait, be patient before striking. He had to take them by surprise. He crouched lower, his body coiling like a spring, ready to strike.

The moment the trio stepped past his hiding spot, Scotty lunged. His powerful legs propelled him forward, his claws outstretched as he targeted the person towards the back of the trio- one of the girls.

His fangs sunk deep into her arm with the phaser, jaw tightening around the appendage until he couldn't bite down any harder. His body had forced her to the ground with a blood curdling scream, his claws digging into her delicate human flesh.

“Sister!” The other woman screamed, the man stepping in front of her as he tried to fire at Scotty, but the fear made his hands shaky- the phaser shots never grazing the monster.

With such a firm grip on the woman, Scotty used his legs to push himself back, dragging her with him. She kept screaming and crying out, but it was pointless. His head jerked aggressively, making her drop the phaser, no longer able to hold on she to the severe amount of pain.

The moment the phaser hit the floor, Scotty's tail whipped around, knocking it further away from the other two security officers. The young man in front of the other woman tried to steady his aim, but his hands continued to shake uncontrollably.

"S-Stay back!" He shouted, his voice cracking with fear. "Let her go!"

Scotty growled low in his throat, the sound rumbling through his chest and echoing down the corridor. He released his grip on the woman's arm just enough to roar at them, a warning to stay away. The taste of her blood was sharp and metallic on his tongue, mingling with the coppery scent already filling his nostrils.

The man’s finger twitched on the trigger, and he fired a shot that went wide, narrowly missing Scotty’s head. The sea monster hissed in response, taking that as his cue he's on borrowed time. He bit down on the injured girl’s shirt, dragging her along as she was pretty much useless, her legs kicking out to try and stop from being dragged. Trying to keep the woman over him, Scotty slithered away, essentially using her as a meat shield.

"Stop firing!" The other woman cried, grabbing the man's arm and pulling him back. "You might hit her!”

The man was torn between what to do, and it gave Scotty his opening. He retreated into another darkened corridor, away from the terrified security officers who were seemingly starting to argue- from what Scotty heard when their voices got quieter. His breathing was heavy, each exhale a low growl as he looked around for a place to hide, somewhere he could plan his next move.

Nearby he noticed a hatch on a wall. Hatches weren't electric, so he could snake his way into the jeffie tubes. That's exactly what he needed.

He dropped his prize on the floor, letting go of her. She seemed to pass out, motionless on the floor. The sea monster looked at her closely, unsure of what to do with her. It would be too much of a hassle to bring her with him. Scotty licked his blood coated lips with thought, his singular eye staring at her with contemplation.

Deciding on leaving her, the sea monster went to pull back and leave, but he was caught off guard when the woman reached out with her injured arm, her determination pushing her through the pain.

Shock filled the sea monster’s eye when there was a loud scream of effort, and then a blossom of pain in his side. Hissing out in agony, he ripped himself from her, backing up. Looking down, Scotty saw a dagger lodged deep into his side.

“Karma’s a bitch!” The woman laughed triumphantly, feeling proud of her achievement.

Scotty snarled at her, but he couldn't attack her now. She had definitely drawn attention to them with her shout out- a good proof she was alive. The other 2 would come to get her later, so Scotty couldn't stay long.

Deciding against ripping the dagger out and having an early blood trial, the sea monster rushed to the hatch, and slithered his way inside.

[wafflesrock16]

Nihlus Kryik/Ashley Williams Coffee Shop AU

I'm a huge Nihlus/Ashley shipper (yay rare-pairs!) and couldn't help but write some crackfic of them in a coffee shop AU setting. Nihlus as a sexy barista? Tell me I'm not alone in liking that idea. Below a cut cuz longish.

Waking up before dawn had never been a problem for Nihlus. No matter the planet or biome he was predisposed to cresting with the sun, or suns, whatever the case might be. Even on the Citadel, he awoke before the artificial daylight seeped into the sky. He considered this knack a useful trait, especially since he worked as a barista.

Spectre Cafe had come highly recommended to him by a former roommate. Situated in the upper wards, the cafe catered to the elite early morning crowd; kava, tea, coffee, kaf, and the quasi-toxic sludge elcor loved. Nihlus was damn good with a kava machine and could make the fancy foam designs humans and asari loved so much in their drinks. He’d breezed through training and was loving his job—until Tela quit.

Nihlus didn’t resent Tela for quitting, seeing as the asari matron had provided ample notice. He did resent Saren, the cafe owner, making zero efforts to replace her. Rather than seeking to hire a new employee, Saren seemed intent on making due with a skeleton crew. Nihlus had been shoved into the role of manager and barista, while Kaidan was simultaneously busing tables, washing dishes, and ringing people up on the cash register. Jondum, the bookkeeper, had even been pressed into service front of house, something the introverted salarian loathed and unsurprisingly, was terrible at doing. 

Nihlus glared over his shoulder at Jondum, his own hands flying over the kava machine as he foamed up a fifth large kava for a massive order they’d just received from the turian embassy. “Bau! Where’s my triple shot coconut creme latte with vanilla?”

Jondum slowly poured brownish-white liquid into a to-go cup before managing to pump syrup into it at an even more languid pace. 

Nihlus’ subvocals growled in barely suppressed irritation. “Bau! Step on it!”

“I’m going as fast as I can without having made a latte before,” Jondum replied in a snarky voice. His dark eyes remained fixated on the syrup pump. “Your shouting won’t help me learn any quicker.”

 A human female with long, ebony hair leaned over the counter toward Nihlus. She wore a black harness over her shoulders and chest, leaving her taut stomach bare before it disappeared into tight spandex leggings, leaving little to the imagination. Typical human work-out attire he’d been told. It’s definitely working for her, Nihlus thought. Were the cafe not so slammed, he might have been tempted to flirt. As it was, all he had time to do was register that she was attractive before trying to send her along. 

He stuffed plastic cups into a holder. “The line starts back there,” he informed her with a jab of his thumb. “Cutting isn’t appreciated.” 

“Where’s the bathroom!” the human demanded in response to his flippant dismissal. 

Nihlus glanced back at her. Her dark dark eyes glared daggers at him, teeth bared. Why did he somehow find that attractive? I need to get laid, Nihlus privately considered. Spirits, it’s been too long. Aloud he said, “The bathroom is in the back, behind the water fountain.”

“Thank you.”

Nihlus didn’t watch her leave, focusing instead on handing off the embassy order to a volus in a delivery uniform. Turning around he nearly bumped into Kaidan, who was standing ramrod straight with his apron out-thrust. “I need to take a break.”

Nihlus gawked. “Are you joking? You can’t leave now! We need you on the register.”

Kaidan looked on the verge of tears. “I have a headache and I’m taking a fifteen minute break! Breaks are mandated by Citadel ordinance and I need mine now. I need fifteen minutes and aspirin!” The last part came out in a screech.

Nihlus reared back under the force of the tirade, taking the apron as Kaidan rushed out. “Just you and me for the next fifteen minutes,” he called to Jondum. 

Jondum looked up from where he was carefully steeping tea. “What?”

“You heard me!” Nihlus snapped, storming over to the register. “Fucking cheap nothi Saren,” he seethed under his breath. “Understaffed as fuck and where’s that prick? On vacation. Spirits damned son of a—What can I get for you?”

The attractive  human woman in tight spandex quirked a brow. “Caramel macchiato.” She glanced over Nihlus’s shoulder as a loud crash and metallic clink echoed behind him. 

Nihlus closed his eyes and counted to ten. I’m going to kill Bau. 

“On second thought, maybe just a large latte,” the human amended. 

Nihlus opened his eyes. Up close, the human was even more attractive. Lithe figure, trim waist, strong arms, full lips and deep brown eyes the color of coffee. Nihlus stamped down on an appreciative purr. “One large latte coming up.”

He decided to take a page from Bau’s book. People could wait for their drinks. If Saren lost some credits this morning that was his fault for being a shit businessman. Nihlus heated the milk—or whatever the imitation substance was—before mixing it with the caffeinated brew. Feeling inspired, he used the excess foam to draw the human a flower shape in her drink. 

Her eyes widened in delight when he handed it to her. “Wow. This looks great. Thank you.”

Nihlus gave her a flared mandible grin. “Don’t mention it.”

The rest of the morning flew by at a rapid pace. Kaidan returned in a far better mood and they closed early. Early enough that Nihlus decided to hit the new bar that had opened up near his residential complex. 

He took extra care to oil his plates and pick an outfit that would accentuate his waist and eyes. He wasn’t expressly seeking to end his overlong celibacy, but should the opportunity arise, he wouldn’t turn it down. 

Clad in an emerald green tunic with a jet black jacket and leggings, Nihlus strolled into the Normandy Lounge. It wasn’t quite late enough to be crowded, but the bar was doing a tidy business. Nihlus eased his way up to the chrome bartop, flagging down a human bartender. 

Her hair was pulled back in a tail and makeup had been applied to her eyes to give them an alluring, dusky feel, but Nihlus instantly recognized her from earlier that morning. Given the way her lips pulled back in a bright smile, she’d recognized him, too. 

“Hey!” she greeted, leaning forward. “Coffee guy!”

There were worse monikers, Nihlus supposed. He rumbled in affirmation, matching her lean. “That’s right. Should I call you work-out girl?” He winked. 

The human chuckled. “Fair enough. I might prefer Ashley.”

Nihlus grinned. “Nihlus Kyrik.”

Ashley cocked her head. “Nice to formally meet you, Nihlus. Can I get you a drink? I can’t do any fancy art in it but I make a mean dextro cocktail.”

“Gimme your best,” Nihlus said. 

That night was memorable for more than the drinks. He and Ashley had ended up dancing and sharing beers when her shift was over. They both had an interest in poetry and target shooting at Armax Arena. When artificial night began to turn to artificial day, the pair had found themselves back at Nihlus’ place tangled up in his bedsheets. 

When Nihlus blinked awake, it was late morning—possibly early afternoon. The spot next to him in bed was still warm, but Ashley was nowhere to be seen. 

He sat up in bed, body still pleasantly loose and satiated from the night before. 

“Morning, sleepy,” an amused voice called from the doorway. 

Nihlus turned. 

Ashley leaned against the doorframe, her bare legs crossed at the ankle. His green tunic from the night before hung loosely over her shoulders, drooping nearly to her knees. 

I’m one lucky turian, Nihlus considered, subvocals drumming in arousal. 

There’d be a morning round or two of love making followed by a shower. After that, well. He’d invite Ashley out for coffee.

[slonekaru]

15 Day BL Challange - Day 15

This is it, the end! HERE is the full list of the challenge

Thank you @negrowhat

Here are my answers: Day1, Day2, Day3, Day4, Day5, Day6, Day7, Day8, Day9, Day10, Day11, Day12, Day13, Day14

HERE are everyone else answers

Day 15 - 5 Bestest Besties

This was so hard!! I had so many :)

Rain & Sky (Love in the Air)

They are there for each other, they are ride and dies. Getting into trouble for each other. And Sky platonically Dom's Rain in public. You know just everyday best-friend type things!

Yai & Tharn (The Sign)

They've been together since childhood. Yai knows all about Tharns secret abilities. He's also the Captain of the PhayaTharn ship!

Hao Ting, Bo Xiang, Xie De, Xia En & Gao Chun (History 3:MODC)

Between Hao Ting marching up to Zhi Gang and giving a sales pitch for dating Bo Xiang, Bo Xiang dealing with Hao Tings big bisexual awakening and having to listen to him gush over Xi Gu like a 12 year old with her first crush, plus after finding out both Hao Ting and Bo Xiang like men Xie De, Xie En & Gao Chun sneaking gay manga or whatever and looking at it so they can understand their friends is just adorable and gives them a place on the list. Nevermind they were all there for Hao Ting after the event that shall not be mentioned because it never happened!!

Mhok & Phojai (Last Twilight)

You have to appreciate ex's that can remain friends. Although Phojai and Mhok broke up she never abandoned him when he was in prison and supported him after his sisters' death. She encouraged him with Day and getting jobs. And he was there when she cut out her loser boyfriend, was left pregnant, and left homeless. They were family already but they thought hey let's solidify this and marry/date brothers! No one doing it like them.

Toh, Jao, Daisy & Som (Secret Crush on You)

These four! What a friend group. They supported each other in everything. Including some of the crazy delusions! They were there for each other through sexual explorations, identity crises, bullying, confidence issues, and general life. They probably wouldn't have done half the things they did without supporting each other.

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Solar Opposites in: Solar Monsters (by @avaveevo)

Ch. 6

Later that day, Beverly is walking in the hospital halls with Dr. Schroeder and some other scientists.

Dr. Schroeder: Are you sure Korey died in a so-call hellhound accident?

Beverly: Yes sir. And that why I must show you his… then sees Human Korvo with Human Terry, who has recovered fully with his wounds gone and no pain as he reunited with his friends and children corpse?

Dr. Schroeder is then overjoyed as he and the other scientist walk towards Human Korvo and his family and friends as Beverly looks dumbfounded.

Dr. Schroeder: Korey! Human Korvo walks up to him I’m so happy you’re okay! What happens to your husband?

Human Korvo: Terry was mauled by a hellhound but then, a miracle happen. Terry’s wounds were gone the next day. It remains unknown but I am so proud of my husband.

Solar Opposites Gang: Alright Terry! Woo-hoo! Amazing job your brave bruiser! What a brave fuck! That’s our dad! Hooray Mr. Terry! Terry! Yay!

Dr. Schroeder: Well, I just hope your scanner can do something about the mysterious attack last night. Most people have died from that attack. We don’t know who sent those hounds, but we’ll find him soon… I’ll see you Korey.

As Dr. Schroeder and the scientists leave, Beverly looks on as she growls quietly. Later, at Terry’s hospital room.

Human Terry: So, maybe I should sing to the kids now. Because, that could help boost bravery, into those who have been injured. They’ve been trying to recover, but could use a little hope.

Human Korvo: Really? Well, I love to see you try.

Human Yumyulack, Human Jesse, Sonya and Human Pupa: Yeah. I agree. Good idea Mr. Terry. Music.

Principal Cooke: Wait, that’s seriously gonna work.

The scene then cuts to Human Terry, with his bandages gone, gets up on the stage with the injured kids staring at him with a guitar as he sits down on a stool. His friends and family look at him, hoping it won’t backfired.

Human Terry: taps microphone Hey um, my name is Terry Opposites. I was one of the survivors of the hellhound attack last night. murmurs were heard So, without further ado, I’m gonna sing for those who are struggling with hope of recovery. Because, I believe in true bravery and strength deep inside, it can help you get through anything. It’s something my husband Korey taught at me at the beach last week. Thank you.

Human Korvo smiles.

Human Terry: So, takes a deep breath when he suddenly felt a sense of fearlessness inside him like a wind Let’s begin.

Human Terry starts playing the song with his guitar as he began to start off with the right verse. Song:

Human Terry:

🎵 So clever Whatever I'm done with these endeavors Alone I walk the winding way (Here I stay) 🎵

Human Korvo smiles tearfully at his husband’s singing while Mia romantically out her head on Ms. Perez’s shoulder

🎵 It's over No longer I feel it growing stronger I live to die another day Until I fade away 🎵

Human Yumyulack, Human Jesse, Sonya and Human Pupa dog piled on each other while looking at their father performing. Beverly starts walking away in disgust, which caught Principal Cooke and Miss Frankie’s eyes.

Why give up, why give in? It's not enough, it never is So I will go on until the end We've become desolate It's not enough, it never is But I will go on until the end

Miss Frankie and Principal Cooke sneak away to follow Beverly. Then, Miss Frankie text a message to Human Korvo as he looks down but looks surprised.

Human Korvo: Huh? I wonder what Frankie meant to by that.

Later, Miss Frankie and Principal Cooke kept a close eye on Beverly as they watch her drive away in her car. They then head inside Miss Frankie’s car and Miss Frankie starts the engines as they drive off. Miss Frankie looks on while giving Beverly a death stare.

Miss Frankie: Alright bitch, let’s see what you’re really up to…

As the car drives on, it cuts to the Solars arriving home as they got out with Human Terry holding Human Pupa, who is hugging him.

Human Terry: Aw, look at Pupa. He must’ve miss me so much.

Human Jesse: He sure did. tickles human Pupa by the feet; singsongy Tickle wiggle.

Human Pupa: giggling

As the Solars head, the Shlorpians and Pupa turn back into their normal alien selves as Terry and Korvo kiss.

Aisha: Terry! You’re okay! Don’t you scare the fuck out of us again! Damn, you are one brave yet stubborn son-of-bitch!

Terry: Well, I rather not get too cocky. I hope don’t do that dangerous stunt again… well, clap his hands who’s hungry?!

Jesse: I AM!

Yumyulack: I AM!

Sonya: Me too!

Korvo: Okay okay. Let's all settle down now.

Pupa: Mmm yummy.

Terry: Don’t worry, I’m about to to make you kids some lunch!

Korvo: Aw. kisses Terry on the cheek

Terry: Now if you excuse me I’m gonna go make some food.

Yumyulack, Jesse, Pupa and Sonya: Yay!

Terry then heads into the kitchen after making some Aisian food, while making it sure it doesn’t have peanuts in them since Sonya is allergic to peanuts. He smiles as he gets out a jar of kimchi.

Terry: And now for the final touch, a smite of kimchi!

But as soon as Terry tries to open the lid, it’s been shut tightly as Terry as struggles to open it.

Terry: straining voice; struggling to open the right lid Come on you… fucking tight… goddamn lid…!

As Terry struggles to get the lid open, suddenly the jar starts cracking as it shatters into pieces as the pieces fall on the floor, while most of the kimchi sauce spills on Terry, much to his shock.

Terry: looks down in his hands Wh-what? Pupa tries to come in kitchen Stay there!

Pupa: Huh?

Terry: Oh, there’s glass everywhere. That’s why.

Pupa then smiles and heads back to the living room as Terry starts climbing up the mess until he thought of something. Later, the scene then fades to Beverly’s car heading to David’s house as she parks there. Miss Frankie and Principal Cooke then parks their car as they sneak quietly and overhear the conversation.

Miss Frankie: whispering Aw man, I knew there was something about that godawful woman. She is such a total fucking jerkass!

Principal Cooke: whispering I know. I can’t believe that sick bitch would do this to Korvo.

Miss Frankie: whispering Oh! Shh.

As the two teachers listen carefully to the conversation…

Beverly: offscreen Where are you? listen to phone Well, this experiment failed. A monster followed them here and beat the shit out of them. I saw the news. listens closely Mm-hmm. Yeah. Only four colleagues. They and I will be here to search the perimeter. I’ll make sure this new one doesn’t blow up in our faces… I’ll call you back soon…

Miss Frankie: whispering

As Beverly hangs up the phone, Principal Cooke and Miss Frankie stay hidden as they sneak in the fenced gate while watching Beverly leave and heads back in her car before driving away.

Principal Cooke: Oh shit. That woman is a bitch!

Miss Frankie: Grr! That whore is gonna pay! trips on something and falls Whoa!

Principal Cooke: Babe, are you alright?

Miss Frankie: Yeah, I’m fine.

As Miss Frankie, she then sees Darcy’s jacket on the ground, but now ruined, torn and dusty as Miss Frankie picks it up.

Miss Frankie: We found evidence!

Principal Cooke: Oh my God! That’s Darcy’s jacket! That must’ve been on how they found out where she lives!

Miss Frankie: Oh, that cunt must’ve gave him that jacket!

Principal Cooke: We gotta warn Korvo!

Miss Frankie: Come on!

The two teachers then head back into their car, as Miss Frankie puts Darcy’s jacket in the backseat as the car takes off. Meanwhile, back with Terry, he is staring at a glass bottle, wondering about how he easily destroyed that jar of kimchi.

Terry: Hmm? Let make sure if this is it!

He grabs the bottle and squeezes it until it breaks.

Terry: gasp in wonder

Korvo: coming outside with the kids Terry? What is it?

Terry shows the Korvo and the kids what he can do as the rest of the family gasp in surprise.

Yumyulack: Holy shit! Terry is strong!

Terry: Oh my God! I’m strong than I ever been… I never felt this way before… I’m not afraid!

Korvo: This is not good...

Yumyulack, Jesse, Sonya and Pupa: Yay Terry! Alright! Woo-hoo! Yay! Terry!

Terry: I’m not afraid turns into his human form as he runs off

Korvo: gasp Terry no! Come back!

Yumyulack: Oh shit! That’s not good! Uh Terry?!

Jesse: Uh, I don’t think this is such a good idea, Terry!

Korvo: Oh shit! We need to go after him!

Yumyulack: Come on! runs off with Korvo

Jesse: Hey, wait! I'm coming too! follows her brother and father

Pupa: Me too!

Sonya: Me three guys!

Then, we see Human Terry running around the neighborhood.

Human Terry: calling out Mia! I’m not afraid!

Mia: Well, aren’t you super duper re-couper

Then, Human Terry ran past the old folk home.

Human Terry: Old man I don’t know! I’m not afraid

Old Man: Then you’re not paying attention you fucking nitwit

Then, Human Terry runs past the market where Kevin and his family are at.

Kevin: Hey Terry, how are you- suddenly sees something that frightens him Oh my God!

Kevin’s kids scream as they behind their mom. So did the grocery shoppers hide. Human Terry then turns around and it turns behind him was the mugger from the beach!

Human Terry: gasp You?!

Mugger: Hello, weakling. Come back for more?

Human Terry: sees the knife again as he breaks it apart with his strength as it shatters to pieces Not anymore, motherfucker! punches Mugger

As Human Korvo and the kids came, they gasp in shock and surprise over seeing Human Terry beating up the mugger, but with self-control. Human Korvo can’t help but blush as he sees his husband beating up the mugger, infatuated by his husband’s new fearlessness.

Human Korvo: Oh god. I am so fucking turned on right now.

Human Terry then bites the mugger’s fist as he hits him him with a trash can lid and kicks him to the curb

Human Terry: You’ve just been Terried! turns around and kicks mugger again

Human Korvo then runs up to Human Terry and the two make out as the town cheer for him. The kids then ran up and praise their father and cheer for him.

Human Yumyulack: Alright Terry!

Human Jesse: Yay!

Sonya: Alright!

Human Pupa: Terry!

The police then arrived and picks up the mugger as they cuff him. As the mugger gets taken away, the family watches on. Later, Human Terry and Human Korvo were heading outside on the porch back home.

Human Terry: I’m sorry, I just got excited there and it was because I somehow have a new Shlorpian strength. But, I’m really sorry if I scared you to death

Human Korvo: Sssh. seductively Let's not worry about that right now. To be honest, I shouldn’t worry about you anymore. You have became a tough Shlorpian since the hospital.

Human Korvo and Human Terry sits down on their bench chairs as they look at the sunset

Human Terry: You know this is nice. sighs sadly

Human Korvo: Yeah… notices a worried look on Human Terry’s face What’s wrong darling?

Human Terry: I-I think I should be careful with this strength. I could seriously hurt someone looks down at his hands This strength might be dangerous to innocent people.

Human Korvo: Oh, why the fuck would you think that?

Human Terry: I don't know. It's just...ever since I found out about the Super Shlorpians and the Mundane, I've been thinking that I might be a Mundane.

Human Korvo: Wait, you saw something that looked like a mundane?

Human Terry: I-I’m not sure. I did see spirit, like in my dream. But, I’m not really sure. But, what if I am one? What I lose my memrorie?! What if-

Human Korvo hugs Human Terry as he calms down, but tears stroll down Human Terry’s cheek.

Human Korvo: Oh I think this might be a new Shlorpian trait, for Shlorpian who develop strength. You don’t have to worry about it. As you long as you kept it in control, this strength might be easily tamed. wipes away tears from Terry’s eyes Don’t let that shake you up. All I see in my eyes is a brave Shlorpian, who I know will do things right.

Human Terry smiles and holds Human Korvo’s face softly.

Human Terry: Oh, come here you.

Human Terry and Human Korvo kiss as the sun fully sets. Suddenly, they heard stuff breaking and their children play fighting.

Jesse: offscreen Korvo! Terry! Yumyulack is messing with me again!

Yumyulack: offscreen I am not! Hey come on Sonya, no fair!

Sonya: offscreen That's what you get for standing in the way!

The kids then starts squealing and laughing as Human Korvo and Human Terry shake their heads and sigh while rolling their eyes

Human Korvo: sighs Come on, let’s go in before they try to murder each other

Human korvo and Human Terry heads back inside while holding hands romantically as they look at each other lovingly, like the sweet living alien husbands they are as Human Korvo closes the dork behind them.

[techmomma]

I don’t draw as much as I used to. Some days it drives me insane. Since getting this job there’s been whole MONTHS without drawing even the sloppiest thumbnail or even just a warmup.

But I think it’s been good for me? Yeah, it still drives me insane. I have so many things to draw, all the time, forever, and it never feels like enough TIME FOR ANY OF IT. I am a visual communicator, there are so many THINGS that just don’t work in words! But they’d make sense if I drew them. Just this one idea, I gotta get this idea out of my head and it demands a visual aid. And I gotta decide between that, or this thing I’ve been wanting to draw for two weeks, or this other thing I out off for a month, or this thing, etc. etc.

But

I think it’s been finally, actually helping the burnout I staved off healing from for ages. I’d pull back but still try to make myself draw and it’d only somewhat help, temporarily, but now actually not drawing for long stretches of time, I can feel something healing. I don’t draw often and I don’t draw a lot but each time feels like more and more of a joy. I feel more excited to draw, less tired, less staring at a document like “JUST FUCKING DRAW ALREADY!” and nothing happening.

Maybe it’s been helping me get away from feeling like I owe people, personally and in-general, art. Not just in the sense of commissions but as a content creator, like if I don’t meet these invisible quotas for posting then idk everyone will hate me or stop following me or whatever. “You have to draw content like it’s your job or like it will be your job someday or you’ll never go anywhere.” Or, as has happened, people will ask “Why aren’t you making art anymore??” and I won’t have an answer. Worrying that people will think I’m NEVER DRAWING AGAIN and look on me pityingly, like I’m no longer an Artist or.... something.

brain: something bad will happen me: what brain: something bad

me: cool, great, thanks

And now that I’ve not been drawing and people HAVE asked that but it was a single instance thusfar, and there’s still people following me and enjoying my art and my characters, which is great, but even if there weren’t.... it’s been showing me it’s really not so bad. It’s okay to not draw anything for long stretches of time. Yeah, it kinda sucks, but who cares? I’m liking my drawings more on the rare chances I do get to draw, even if I don’t finish them. I’m enjoying my art more and more. Maybe I only have the spoons for a headshot but it’s spoons at all, and that’s awesome. Instead of being ONLY a headshot, it’s more like “yay, I got a chance to draw a headshot at all!” Art is feeling less of a chore that has to be done every so often because you have to, and more of a joy that I get to indulge in.

So unfortunately, it does mean that art will still probably be few and far between, in terms of here on tumblr and what I post. I’ve also started taking a joy in not posting everything I draw; sometimes it’s just for friends, sometimes it’s just for me. So you guys don’t see everything I do, even when I do draw. But I’m still here. And I’ve been feeling better about my art. Maybe one day I won’t be so tired and I can happily draw everyday for hours like I used to; or maybe it’ll still remain sparse and sporadic.

But that’s okay. Maybe I won’t get any commission deals out of drawing so sporadically, maybe I won’t get huge follower numbers. But that’s okay. I like my art. I like my circle I’ve got here. And I’m learning to not hate myself for staring at an open document and not drawing anything. I’m learning to be okay being tired.

Love you guys, still! Lots of love to people still sticking around and lots of love to people who’ve stumbled on me recently and made the flattering-if-questionable decision to follow me. You may not see much art from me but I’m still here lurking most days, and enjoying the quiet.

[idnek83]

Service With a Smile 3/?

Fandom: Trigun

Rating: Explicit (eventually)

Pairing: Vash/Wolfwood

Tags: Coffee shop au, Vash owns a cafe, Wolfwood is a mystery man, Trans Vash, Getting together, Fluff, Slow burn, Eventual smut, Recreational drug use, Drinking, Vash is self conscious about his scars, afab language

Summary: Vash works at a little coffee shop known as Seeds Cafe,  and likes to make his days more interesting by trying to make each of  his customers smile or laugh at least once before they leave. He has a 100% success rate... That is, until one day a moody man with a taste for cigarettes and black coffee shows up...

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6

Read on Ao3

_____________________

It’s about 30 minute before close and Vash keeps glancing at the door between cleaning glasses. Logically he knows that just because Mr. Grumpy came in around this time yesterday, it doesn’t mean he’ll be back, but he can’t seem to stop himself from looking up at every little noise, hoping to see the man’s scowl coming through his door.

The minutes pass by agonizingly slow, but the door remains closed.

When 8 o’clock rolls around without anyone coming in, Vash lets out a disappointed sigh and flips over Seeds’ open sign.

-

Vash flops face first onto his bed, ignoring the way the bed frame groans and creaks in protest.

Even if he spent most of the day doing nothing, working 14 hour shifts at his cafe still takes a lot out of him, and he’s always more than content to immediately pass out as soon as he gets home.

As if to spite him, his phone vibrates.

He grumbles and shifts enough to grab it from where he’d tossed it on his side table. When the screen lights up he’s hit with a wave of conflicting emotions.

He has a text from his brother, Nai.

He considers ignoring it. It’s not that he doesn’t want to talk with his brother, it’s more that their relationship is... complicated, and he isn’t sure if he can handle all the heavy emotions that generally come along with their conversations right now.

Despite himself, he unlocks his phone to see what Nai sent him.

      Hope you're well. I’m departing for Stockholm soon.

Vash vaguely recalls Nai mentioning something about an upcoming conference in Stockholm last time they spoke on the phone, but for the life of him can’t recall what it was for.

Nai’s job has always confused Vash, but he could best be described as... an entrepreneur? Or maybe a business tycoon? From what Vash understands he basically owns a lot of business and makes money by... giving them money and then taking a cut of the profits later?

At first he had been worried his brother was some kind of loan shark, but after a lengthy explanation, during which Vash nodded a lot and understood very little, his brother had assured him that was not the case.

And Vash is mostly sure he can trust him.

He isn’t really in a place to question him at the very least, considering Nai is the only reason Vash was able to open Seeds in the first place.

Vash sighs. Just send Nai something light and move on. If he’s getting on a plane soon he wont have time to inquire into every facet of Vash’s life and inevitably (if accidentally) make him feel awful about himself anyways.

      I’m good! Have fun in Stockholm! : )

Vash waits, part of him hoping he took too long and Nai is already on the plane, while the rest of him feels guilty for hoping that.

      This is a business trip. Not a vacation.

Vash feels his stomach sink. Right. Business. No fun allowed. Vash should know better. He tries to think of an appropriate response but his phone vibrates again before he comes up with anything.

      But I suppose I can try.

It makes him smile, but then for some reason his throat gets tight and he suddenly fells like he’s going to cry. He types up a quick response before his vision blurs too heavily.

      Yay! :D

He rolls onto his back and lets a few tears roll down his cheeks. He hates that he’s like this. He hates that he isn’t a better brother. Nai does so much for him and yet Vash can barely manage to even talk to him without having some kind of emotional breakdown.

Nai just makes him feel... too much. He’s thankful, and he loves him, and he misses him, but he’s also angry, and jealous, and knows he’s not worthy of being the twin of someone so completely perfect. He’s ashamed. He wishes Nai was ashamed of him too. Nai gave up so much for him and all Vash has to show for it is a tiny apartment and a cafe that’s just barely staying afloat.

He hates relying on Nai any more than he absolutely needs to. It’s why he works so much at Seeds. Why he’s only hired 2 part-time employees, even though it means he works 70 hours a week.

Vash closes his eyes and encourages his thoughts to stray away from his brother and his guilt.

They land on his part-timers.

Meryl and Milly are both wonderful. He had hired Meryl first, she was a regular who would often come to Seeds to study or work on homework, and Vash had always enjoyed her visits. Then one day she had offhandedly mentioned looking for part-time work, and Vash decided pretty much that instant that he wouldn’t mind a little extra help during mornings and weekends.

A few weeks after hiring Meryl, she asked if Vash would consider hiring someone else as well, insisting he worked way too much and that he looked so tired most days that Meryl was certain it was only a matter of time before he accidentally poured scalding hot coffee on someone's face. Vash had relented, saying he could probably afford to hire another part-timer to cover the mornings Meryl couldn’t work, but Meryl insisted he have them work weekends too, so that Vash could actually have days off. He had been opposed to it at first, he already felt bad about taking Meryl’s weekends away from her, but Meryl had argued that no one would take a job that only offered a handful of morning hours, so Vash eventually agreed to give up his weekend shifts.

He had left hiring to her, saying he didn’t have the money to advertise an opening, and he’d be happy to just hire one of her friends if she knew anyone looking for work.

Two days later, she brought in a girl nearly as tall as Vash, and just as broad.

Milly is an absolute delight, Vash has never met someone so polite who also managed to have a great sense of humour and take absolutely no shit from anyone who even thinks about being rude around her.

Apparently Meryl had met her at an orientation event for their college, and when Meryl had mentioned not being able to see the stage, Milly had simply scooped he up and put her on her shoulders. After that they got to talking, realized they were both majoring in journalism, and had been inseparable ever since.

Vash had immediately taken a liking to Milly, and welcomed her to Seeds with open arms.

Still though, the first Saturday the girls had worked on their own, Vash came in 3 separate times before they banned him from visiting his own store on weekends. Milly literally carried him out, lifting him up under his arms like a child and placing him outside, before scolding him for not taking time for himself.

It had been months since then, and he still never really knew what to do with his weekends.

Mostly he sat around his apartment, slept, and occasionally got high. He didn’t really have the money to be going out to bars every weekend so...

When was the last time he’d gone out? It had to have been more than a month ago... maybe two?

His thoughts flicker back to the image of Mr. Grumpy, clothes rumpled, obviously exhausted, smelling of booze, and likely on his way back from a one night stand.

God. When was the last time he’d slept with somebody?

Vash starts counting backwards, but gives up when he realizes it’s been longer than he wants to admit.

It’s not that he has trouble finding partners on the rare occasions he does go out. He knows he has a pretty face and a body that easily catches people’s eyes on the dance floor, and he isn’t against using that to his advantage.

No, the problem usually comes after the bar, when the clothes start coming off and his partners get a look at the mess of scar tissue that makes up his body.

That was usually the point people started conveniently deciding they were too tired for a hookup, or remembered they had to work early the next morning, so would he mind leaving actually?

The last time he had actually gotten laid, the guy had insisted he only ever fucked in complete darkness, and had not just turned off the lights, but made sure to close the blinds to stop any light from coming in.

He’d conveniently brought this up right after Vash took off his shirt.

Vash can’t really hold it against anyone though. He knows what he looks like.

Sometimes he can’t even bare to look at himself...

Vash heaves a deep sigh, rubs his face and tries to shake himself out of his pity party.

Even if he doesn’t go home with anybody, the idea of just going out to dance still sounds like it could be fun. He’s been cooped up in his apartment and at work for too long, and as long as he has a few drinks at home first, a night out shouldn’t set him back too much.

He remembers hearing about a new bar opening up not too far away. One of the employees had come in and asked if they could put a flyer up on his shop’s bulletin board last week, and he thinks it’s probably still there. He'll have to take a look tomorrow. He hadn’t paid that much attention to it at the time, but he’s pretty sure he saw a rainbow flag on the flyer, which was good news if he does end up finding someone to... maybe not sleep with, he doesn’t think he can deal with another rejection right now, but maybe just make out with? Get a little handsy with?

Either way, if it’s a gay bar that means his pool of potential partners isn’t limited to just women, and at the moment he’s kind of craving someone big, and broad, maybe with dark hair, a bit of stubble, big hands, nice pecs...

Vash falls asleep to thoughts of drinking and dancing, the scent of cigarettes lingering somewhere in the back of his mind.

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[episodicnostalgia]

Spider-man: The Animated Series, 101 (Nov. 19, 1994) - “Night of the Lizard”

The Breakdown

After sightings of a mysterious lizard-creature in the sewers make the news, J Jonah Jameson offers a $1,000 reward to whoever can provide a photographic proof.  Peter Parker is hurting for cash, so he grabs his camera and thwips into action.  First up, he begins his search with a visit to his professor (Dr. Curt Connors) because that guy knows, like, a LOT about Lizards you guys. In fact, Connors even has a fancy ray gun at his campus facility called a “Neogenic Recombinator” which is capable of giving small mammals the ability to regrow missing limbs just by zapping some Reptile DNA into them. Pretty neat, right? Maybe one day this device will help Connors regrow his own arm, but surely not today. Of course, that expository information is purely to set the tone of the story, and I’m sure it won’t relate directly to the primary narrative or events of this episode.

In the twist that utterly may shock you, it turns out that Doc Connors and the Lizard are-one-and-the-same on account of engaging in a reckless attempt to regrow his own arm, which has gone horribly wrong! (Who could have foreseen this?) With a new set of reptilian priorities, Croc Connors decides to turn everyone into Anthropomorphic Reptiles, because he’s decided being a dinosaur-man actually kinda slaps. (Important follow up question: does he maybe have a point? That does sound awesome.)  Regardless, it’s poor form to assume that’s what everyone wants without checking first, so Pete gets into Spidey mode and shuts the whole thing down, using the gene-ray-gun to turn Connors back into his normal human self.  And to top it off Peter gets the pictures so he can keep the noose of capitalism at bay for a little while longer!  Yay!

The Verdict

One thing these old 90’s cartoons excelled at was in getting to the point. ‘Night of the Lizard’ picks up when Spider-man is already well established, and Peter is in university. Even Peter’s supporting cast are all introduced as if the audience could already know them, and it works. At no point are we ever left to wonder what’s going on, or who anyone is. The writing and animation on this show never reached the maturity of Batman: TAS or other WB fare of the era, but this episode still holds up pretty well for a 90’s kids show. Visually the animators do a decent job of capturing Spider-man’s acrobatics (the webbing looks great), although the CGI backgrounds have not aged gracefully. Meanwhile, what the writing lacks in emotional depth, it makes up for it in whiz-bang adventure that’s simultaneously a faithful update to the source material. 

When all is said and done, this is remains a solid intro to an iconic show from my childhood.

3 stars (out of 5)

Additional Observations

I like that they introduced Eddie Brock as a rival photographer right away. Gives us some time to establish his dynamic with Peter before he becomes Veno- I mean, I’m sure they’ll sort out their differences amicably.

The Lizard’s design is spot on. As a kid watching this show felt like like a comic book come to life. Coincidentally the Lizard was one of the first Spidey rogues I was introduced to back when I first started reading comics.

I love how a university has access to a device capable of creating literal super-monsters almost instantly, and there seems to be no resources devoted to guarding it. And this is only the first of many times that specific one-of-a-kind device will be misused to a similar effect. Maybe the line between this universe with super-people, and ours, is a better security budget.