#so many HCs and new story of this that its basically an AU of the au but anyway this explains this drawing i guess

[dollarneko]

familiar

[toxicanonymity]

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WELCOME ABOARD! This blog has amazing readers which makes it a lot of fun. Check your content settings to make sure you can see everything. Heed warnings on fics. UPDATED 4/30/24.

Basics

Tox/Toxy, she/her. millennial. Blog is 18+.

As of 4/30/24, I'm still on hiatus, but my WIPs are not abandoned.

Do not copy, translate, or repost* my work. Do not put it into AI or make bots of it. Ty for understanding.

*reblogging ( 🔁 button) is encouraged.

Q: Are Requests open?

A: no, not for new fics. but feel free to send thots, particularly on my stories. if I use it I'll tag you. you can also ask Qs about lore, etc.

Q: Will you write more every inch/left in Lincoln?

A: I plan to. More here. For Every Inch, if you tell me what you liked so far, it might help me decide between a few things.

Q: When is [fic] coming back? How many chapters?

A: IDK, sorry. If I knew I'd tell you. I have to delete asks like this for my sanity. I get overwhelmed. In the future I'm not planning to release things as I go, I'm gonna try to finish everything before posting. Problem is I have a lot of one shot fails / play as I go AUs. We'll see.

Q: Did you read my fic?

A: I'm sure it's good but I'm a slow/bad reader. I'm also overdosed on pedro rn. More here.

Q: AO3

A: Here, not everything is on there but lmk if there's something you'd like me to prioritize as I work on bringing everything over.

Q: Tag list?

A: Please follow @toxicfics, use the person icon to turn on notifications, and use this trick for getting a tab on your dashboard just for your blog subscriptions so you can see what you missed.

Q: Are the fics always dark on this blog?

A: No.

Q: What is the brothel?

A: I HC my characters as living in my brothel which has its own crack sideblog @toxicbrothel and tv show.

Q: What are Joelkémons?

A: Reader-coined term for the Joel variants on this blog. Some listed here: Joelkémon cards.

Q: Can we make your characters into bots?

A: No, please don't do this. It makes me feel bad and they don't even work. Every time it puts me farther away from updating the fic. Please. o not copy, repost, translate, put in IA, or make bots of my work. Please lmk if you ever see my work made into a bot, copied, etc.

Q: Who's night walks!Joel? Who's thighs out?

A: Night Walks is an AU where Joel is your hot, older, creepy pothead neighbor. Night walks masterlist. Thighs out (another AU) is your boyfriend's hot slutty dad.

Q: What's a HOG? Who/what is GILF?

A: Hot Old Guy, from Silence can never be bought pt. 2 and 5. GILF is grandpa I'd Like to Fuck and may refer to the one from Pawn Shop (Joel in his 60s) @gilfjoel.

Q: Who is Dr. Rock?

A: Hot sex therapist who roleplays my characters. Dr. Rock is also the poster boy for avoiding discourse.

Q: Do you still write slashers?

A: Yes. I just wrote my first Thomas Hewitt in March 2024. Main/slashers masterlist.

Q: What other fics & blogs do you rec?

A: Please check out @toxicrecs

Q: How can I stay motivated to write without getting a lot of notes?

A: Please see these posts: here and here.

Q: Why did you unfollow me?

A: As a Tumblr noob, I followed accts all willy nilly--i was impatient to diversify my dash by account. But now I want it more diverse by fandom too. I recently put my dash in chronological mode and began seeing a lot more of some people. If we've never interacted, I don't want to feel like a lurker. Or I could've lost (some or all) interest in your fandom. Or I may have forgotten why I followed you, especially if what you're posting has changed. Or I might be wanting to reduce the discourse I see. Or it could be be something like what's described below that I don't want to see.

✨Q: Am I blocked? Why can't I see your main blog from my account? / Did you soft block me? What is going on?

⚠️ A: The most common reasons I block are for policing or judging what others write or post, kink shaming, or spreading harmful rumors. ⚠️

When it comes to rumors and shaming, silence is not a sign of guilt or agreement. It's confidence in the truth and desire to keep harmful takes off the dash. As a rule, I would ignore and block false accusations, rumors, or kink shamers instead of giving them a huge audience by responding or addressing it.

Harmful takes in the wild / targeted harassment: blocked. And if a post is bad enough--such as calling for targeted harassment of writers or trivializing a serious crime by casually accusing writers of it, I may block people for positively interacting with it. I don't want to be on your dash if you share those views, even if it's about som thing I don't write. On my blog, it's important for readers to understand fiction can't be equated with real life. And who's to say I won't offend or traumatize you on a different topic one day? It's for your own good.

You can get blocked on anon too.

[wintered-debtz]

CT ocs!!! idk their names yet other than kenni's. more info about my fan story/ocs under the cut (warning: its super long!!)

I have a fan AU in my head. The premise of my AU takes place in the Cramp Twins universe, about 6-7 years into the future. The protagonist is Kenny, who is based a lot on myself. In my AU, Soap City has a scandal regarding the soap factory, and people are moving out En Masse. Property value has gone down, people are losing their jobs. So my fan AU is gonna be focusing a lot on the hardships that come with this.

Kenny is based a lot on me, and he is the main character of the story. He is Beady's son, and his father is a Swamp person, but as a child, he lived with his Mother beady

That girl on the way right of my drawing? Thats the bully from the girl gang! (Shes the one in the middle). She is Kenny's best friend.

She and Kenny are long time friends. Kenny was once part of the girl gang and thats why they are so tight-knit. How was he a part of the girl gang, you may ask? Kenny is trans masc. He came out much later. Kenny is in his early 20s. Im thinking about naming her Trix or something similar in honor of an old OC of mine.

The girl in the middle is Trix's girlfriend. I don't know her name yet. Shes the girl from School Disco (the one with orange hair!!)

Many fans suspect Mari Phelps is adopted. So this girl, I think is Maris biological sister. Mari was taken away as an infant/toddler, so Mari does not remember much, but her older sister deeply is hurt and feels wounded by losing Mari. Sometimes only one child is sent away to live with another guardian in certain cases. I feel bad introducing such a dark element into a fan AU. I won't delve much into it. Point is, she really hopes she can meet her younger sister again one day. Im thinking of naming her beatrice but idk.

There is of course, already a huge plot hole in my AU... if this is Mari's sister, then dang, Wayne has an older doppelganger who looks exactly like him... ughhhh -_-

this loophole literally made me want to scrap the story and work on something new ugh. bc even though the main characters of the cramp twins arent the main focus, they ARE present in my story. So this "wayne" is very contradictory if I use the girl from school disco as a character and have her be maris older sister, fff. (I kind of HC that mari is based off her, who agrees? mostly bc the orange hair and her "edge" attitude, for lack of better word)... bc wayne and all the others are present in the story, but they are younger than the main characters.

Again, this story takes place 6-7 yrs in the future, . heres a preview of some designs im making for the already existing characters/ them when they are in high-school

this is Wendy Winkle's new design. in the story, she has a lot going on. with the soap factory shutting down, her family loses a lot of money. her parents are going through a messy divorce. i know this seems out of character, but sometimes hard circumstances will change a person- wendy is still popular at school but she is very depressed and as a result, more reserved and quiet in high-school. she has a lot of regrets on her mind but idk if i wanna say it. shes a sad prep kid basically. i think her father will have main custody, but the money comes from her mother... the soap factory shutting down causes a lot of issues for walter winkle and he has to live in the swamp. wendy may potentially be living with tony for some period of time in this AU. it forces her to uh. sadly face a lot of things her parents never prepared her for.

then this is Wayne and lucien. both of them grow their hair out. (Fun fact: I am digitizing this doodle!! its not done tho)

anyway, Wayne is kind of grungy, he often is wearing overalls bc he works a lot at the junkyard. Lucien kinda loosens up and becomes uh. a "hippie" for lack of better word??? i notice many ppl think he would be preppy, ive seen two fanarts depict him as a prep kid when he gets older. but after i thought about it, its so possible lucien wants to rebel that life style and focus on what matters to him - peace and justice!!! thus the hippie attire :] (im projecting bc i was that way in highschool and i relate to lucien a lot lolol)

theres so much more i can type about my fan AU but basically the premise is... soap city is falling apart, families are falling apart. everything is hard, but maybe things can get better...

tony goes to school in this AU bc his family is worried tony might not have a future. there is a possibility the swamp may be destroyed due to pollution (the Soap factory scandal has to do with a leak into the swamp, hurting much wild life and even civilians). mari realizes she is a lesbian and fights with her conservative mormon parents a lot...

all 5 of the main kids work together at a grocery store, for varying reasons. and Kenny is a long-time employee there, thats how he meets them. Its all connected in some way. Kenny lives with Trix, the girlfriend of Mari's older sister. so thats why one day, they will get to meet, for example.

i have too much going on in this AU, dont i? :P typing this all out has been very exciting tho. i never typed it all out like this before. my ideas for my AU usually just float around in my head as i work or listen to music

[im-a-chunky-potato]

WERE MOOTS AGAIN!!!

DO YOU HAVE ANY HCS YOUD LIKE TO SHARE :D!!

[apologies for the caps i am simultaneously tired out of my mind and full of energy help]

HIIII! okay okay my brain is blanking out on headcannons so you get something even better, and can hear about my coffee shop au! (It's not that impressive but egeghsh)

Its also pretty long so just be prepared!

First off This is just a modern au, there's no abilities in it!

So really the main characters are Fyodor, Nikolai, and Sigma because they run the coffee shop in the au.

Speaking of that the coffee shop is names the Decay of Angles because somebody misheard them and they couldnt afford to fix that when they noticed it so the name just stuck around^^

Sigma is the only responsible one of the group and acts as the manager of the shop

Nikolai's job is to help with marketing ideas and provide fun event ideas.

And Fyodor deals with creating new menu items and just making great coffee

They all take turns taking people's orders so it's a completely different experience with each person you get!

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The basic concept I had for this is that it's just a really chaotic coffee shop where people all around Yokohama come to meet new people and share their stories! Umm as for other characters I've added we have

*Dazai- a pretty popular photographer known for his dynamic photos. His most popular being one known as the burahai trio and then a lot of photos of a certain redhead. He's a pretty common customer!

*Atsushi- A broke student just looking for a cheap way to stay caffeinated and to make money. He helps around the shop and befriends Sigma.

*Akutagawa is pretty much the same as atsushi, but quieter.

*Elise- a sassy little girl who just likes her caffeine

*Yosano- the cities best doctor with some veterinarian skills too! If anything is injured go to her! She's very much in need of coffee.

*Rampo, still the greatest detective the world has ever seen! Usually he goes to the coffee shop to question or give riddles to fyodor

*poe, rampoe's boyfriend and one paying for all the coffee:( he's an ongoing author!

*the hunting dogs are all police officers

*Higuchi is a model! Because I said so

*all of the black lizards+kajii and Chuuya are part of a band for fun! Chuuya definitely gets recognized the most though.

Everyone else is there too I just need to figure them out heheh

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MOVING ON! Obviously there needs to be some sort of issue so I've decided that Fitzgerald wants to buy out the coffee shop and turn it into a chain. But that would lose the charm it has, and all the customers are against it and chaos ensues

But I think it'd also be fun to just delve into everyone's stories and have fun with that, so who knows.

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Relationship wise I have no clue but

Dazai and Fyodor definitely act like exes towards each other

Sskk and skk exist in this universe

Maybe healthy fyolai? As if that exists.

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Ahaha sorry this is already getting quite long! Maybe I'll share more eventually, I have so many thoughts on this au. Though I don't wish to bore you!

[mmx-code-crimpphire]

The Government in Crimpphire-verse Part 1- probably

Phew okay!!

Apologies for not getting any HCs out in the last few days- I've been in a hyperfocus mode again, wanting to hear my fics be podfics so I can listen when I'm in bed

for some reason, I get inspired to write more when I hear my stories at night when I'm trying to sleep and wanna think about my things hehe

I have been thinking what else to make into personal podfics, and it's def making me wanna write more. So there may be an AU story coming out in a bit who knows~

hope you enjoy this headcanon!!

I thought I would give my thoughts on how the Government treats Robots, Robot Masters and Reploids alike.

NEW CHAPTER ON AO3!

At first they’re reluctant, but chill when it comes to the Robot Masters first being made. But after they were first stolen and reprogrammed, it becomes a surfaced concern, but they let it slide, since Wily has been considered a mad scientist when being expelled from the University of Robotics. Though, that’s another story for another day.

I’ll put it briefly that they aren’t too kind to Robotics after what happened in the Robot Master Era, which I will not spoil for the sake of the fic being made behind the scenes~.

And you know that that means: they especially don’t take too kindly to Zero, even after he turned good boy scout from amnesia and is given a second chance, thanks to Dr Cain.

In the Robot Master Era, they were definitely more forgiving, as previously mentioned. But as time passed, especially towards the end of that era and into an era they called “Robotics Ban” before it was finally lifted, it wasn’t a fun time. It took many Roboticists out of work and a lot of Robot Masters left, especially in the Wanderers were either left to rot, killed on sight, or tried to keep on living as long as they could while going into hiding with other humans who still accepted them.

A lot of them are the Wanderers, of course, but a lot had to live without their founder and leader, Blues. Who had to be changed and converted into an AI along with Night Man, and Bass following afterward. That’ll be another post/chapter for another day.

But because of this “Robotics Ban” a lot of that had happened, and Mega City was in its dark ages.

Yeah- if you couldn’t tell, from the Classic Series, it’s going to be dark from the prequel and gets darker as the series progresses. Which is what I wanted, but I could never figure out how I was going to develop that. Despite the fact I wanted it to be about X and Zero’s development as close best friends and it turning into a romantic relationship, yeah there’s going to be a dark story surrounding the main plot, so it’s gonna be a ride.

HOOOO BOY I don’t even know if I, myself, am ready for this, but I’m gonna try cuz it’s been SO long since I wrote a dark story with a Romantic ship being the main focus.

Point is, the Government was being harsh in the Reploid era. After X was found, they were furious once they found out Cain was responsible for finding anything like him, and Cain has fought for X’s rights. Which will also be another post for another day.

But after all that, the Government is still a harsh mistress to this day, and even supporting the Emerald Spears in this era. WHICH ARE ALSO IN THIS AU I FORGOT TO MENTION LMAO.

I liked them that much from the Archie Comics that I decided I wanted to add them.

ANYWAY HAHA

That’s basically it until the fics progress and I’ll post more about it.

[stitchthesewords]

📒📓📔📕📖📗📘📙📚 have all the book emojis for the ask game go wild w as many as u want :3 (why r there so many book emojis tho. who needs all these books.)

(the answer to your book emoji question is me. I do. I use them to organize drafts in scrivener)

HOHOHOHO OKAY LET ME GO DO SOME DIGGING

Okay so first one. Herobrine haunting hermitcraft. So my idea was like - HC has a lot of old school and new school minecrafters playing together, which i distinguish from each other entirely based on vibes. Like, grian, mumbo, pearl, gem, team zit - they all feel more new school to me whereas like scar, keralis, cleo, joe, beef, etho, bdubs all feel more old school - sometimes because theyve played mc for a long time and sometimes just kind of because. ignore this - the only real important thing is that I think the more 'old school' players are familiar with herobrine as a concept in this au [I think all of the hermitcrafts probably know about herobrine irl so] whereas if the new schoolers know about herobrine at all it's as like, a ghost story. A myth.

So herobrine possessing the server and the hermits having to band together to defeat him and get their server back. And like, Herobrine goes from old school to new school mechanics. He adapts, learns to use a shield, can critical hit, all that jazz. thats all I have for this one but. uh. god. I love herobrine <- has been familiar w minecraft since infdev.

THEN there's my Vault Hunters based AU that's Polytechs that I...need to actually play vault hunters to PROPERLY right but the idea is - Iskall is a Vault Hunter and Mumbo and Grian alike. His basemates. He goes out and hunts vaults, they do everything to keep he base running so that he can keep going out to hunt vaults. Mumbo and Iskall designed the redstone and mechanical contraptions in the base together, Grian built the base around it - and they sometimes help out by reading maps to him over communicators, or prepping for him to come back hard. And I have this basic idea that something is like, threatening their world and that's why Iskall needs the vault artifacts - I have this idea that Poltechs is in one world bubble, the Create guys are in another world bubble, and then Imp and Skizz's skyblock is another world bubble. There are other vault Hunters [AKA the people on the VH SMP which i DESPERATELY want to watch oh my god,,,] unknowingly working against Iskall. Iskall maybe had a sort of Matrix-saw-outside-the-bubble moment where he realized they're all being like puppeted to be distracted from like, a world eater or something so its Polytechs save the day w VH mechanics.

THIS ONE,,,,, IS MORE A CONCEPT THAN AN IDEA BUT Etho & Mumbo & Xisuma as Old Gods - Herobrine, basically, with Grian & Pearl & Jimmy as New Gods - the watchers, and Iskall as like The Creator

Also I have a treebark like. darkish romance beauty and the beast meets buzzfeed unsolved style idea where, basically. Martyn can see ghosts but not really interact with them. He doesn't know how to get rid of it, he's gotten used to it. Ren is a werewolf King who has some sort of violent entity haunting his castle. He kidnaps Martyn because he hears as far as 'Martyn can see ghosts' and decides that can probably help. Martyn, again, doesnt know how to get rid of them but also the one is Ren's castle is weird because it can talk to him and interact with him and it looks kind of like Ren and huh- and basically. Basically. The two of them trying to stop this violent entity that swears it knows Ren, slowly but surely falling in love.

[megwritesnstuff]

Mmkay fuck it. I’m just gonna go for it.

Naruto Modern AU with southern flair. I’m calling it “A Small Town Affair” for now, although I do like that title a lot and think it would become the real title if I don’t think of anything better. Here’s some details/HC’s I have so far already.

Credit where credit is due! While I have definitely considered a fic like this in the past, I really got inspired by @tired-biscuit and the way they portray Kiba and Naruto, specifically their Cowboy!AU ideas. After chatting with them a bit I couldn’t stop thinking about it and decided to just go for it and not worry too much about weather I’d be able to pull this off ““GOOD”“ or not. Please go check out their writing and support them! They deffo deserve it!

SETTING: I’m basing this off of my own hometown, but the name of the town in the fic will obviously be different because I don’t want people to know where I’m from aside from “Southern US” lol.

Mainly, it takes place in and around a smaller city in the south and the even smaller towns and rural communities near it. The city, while much smaller and less progressive than say, New York City, is still one of the most progressive, diverse, and inclusive places around. As you get out to the small towns surrounding, and even further out into the country/rural farming communities, it ends up being more hateful, less inclusive and accepting.

I think the story can take place over the wider region of this area, but it’ll mostly take place in the city (because, even irl, if you don’t go into the city you can’t get much done, lol. Its very centralized to all of the communities where various characters may end up working/living).

PLOT: Obviously, every story needs a central plot, or it just devolves into fluff. I like fluff, don’t get me wrong, but this will be the first “real” story I’ve written in a while, so I want to A) give it a strong central plot and B) actually end up finishing this fic at some point instead of going in too many directions and basically fizzle out when it becomes too hard to keep track of, lol.

I’d thought of the idea of going the whole “Country song murder mystery” route, considering the setting I’ve chosen, but I don’t write a ton of mystery/intrigue, or at least, I haven’t in the past. I also think I’d rather keep things lighter, so it’ll probably end up being more of a fluff/angst romance tale, while also exploring the ideas and themes really prevalent in a setting like this; Racism, homophobia and transphobia, cultural heritage(as in race/where your family is from) vs cultural identity(the region you grew up in/the culture you’re part of now), as well as things that are relevant to the IRL setting this fic is based on. Things like changing traditions and loosing traditions of a region as tourism gains traction, gentrification, and the melding of cultures and how locals react to that.

I feel like people will say that’s a lot to fit into one fic!! And how does that even relate to Naruto?? And I hear you, and I feel the same way, lol. This is basically gonna end up just being an exploration of things in my own life through the lens of my favorite anime/comfort show, and maybe people will like it, maybe they won’t. IDK. Isn’t that how all fanfiction is though? Ahaha

CHARACTERS: So, as far as characters go, they’re obviously gonna be the Naruto characters we all know and love, but I do have a few specific headcannons about these characters and how they would act in this particular setting.

Oh, also!! I have some very specific HCs about characters race! I know people say “oh well its a show made in Japan by Japanese people so OBVIOUSLY they are Japanese” but in a modern AU that takes place in the Unites States I think they could be somewhat different races! I’ll talk about it more in the HCs below lol.

I’m only gonna do the rookie 9 kids for now but if people want to hear more about these guys pls let me know!!

Naruto: Good ol’ Nart, lmao. Not too much I think would be different from how he normally is tbh, he’s still loud, clueless, earnest and amazing. He probably has ADHD, not to mention the trauma from having both of his parents die at a young age. I kinda think he lived in Florida before moving to (insert town name here). He got into some trouble in his last year of high school and ended up in a psyche ward to get help for his PTSD and other neurodivergencies. Once he graduated from school he decided to get the hell outta dodge and bought himself a one way Greyhound ticket to where he lives now. He just really thought that going some place where no one knew about his past would make things so much easier, but, life isn’t so simple. Eventually though he made friends, found a job as a farmhand that keeps him fed (and doesn’t drive him absolutely insane like office work or retail probably would have. ChriST SO BORING) and settled down here. Also!! I HC him as mixed white/Japanese. idk really why but yeah ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sasuke: Broody, moody, standoffish and generally just “weird” to the locals of this town. Was totally goth/emo in middle/high school. Would have gotten picked on a lot more if he wasn’t the sheriffs son. In this fic the Uchiha massacre wouldn’t have happened, so his family is alive and well, and Fugaku is part of the local police/sheriffs office. The Uchiha family immigrated to the US several generations ago and settled in this town because it was the best they could do at that time, but over the years they did a lot to help enrich the community at large and gain everyone’s respect, so no one really gives them crap even though its a majority white area. It was Fugaku’s grandfather who initially got involved with the police, and the men of the family have followed in his footsteps ever since, until Itachi and Sasuke, that is.

Sasuke really didn’t care to follow in his fathers footsteps, but he’s doing it anyway because he wants his approval and love. He’s got to clean up his image first, though. No one wants a sheriff who wears eyeliner and parades around holding the hand of a local farmhand (who also happens to be a guy. What a scandal.)

Sakura: Honestly. HONESTLY. I always have and probably always will feel like we got robbed of seeing Sakura’s development in the anime. Unfortunately, I’m an anime only, so I can’t say much for the state of the manga but I could rant about this for hours. That’s a different post.

In this fic and my headcannon for her in general, I think Sakura is a boss bitch. She grew up in this town, she loves her hometown, but she’s ready to leave. She wants something bigger than what the (1) university or community college here can offer her. She wants to be a doctor, to save lives, to make *real* change in this world, and this town just isn’t big enough to hold all of her ambition.

She’d already have been gone, were it not for her parents and her friends here. How can she manage to balance all of her hopes and dreams, versus the love she has for the people in this place? Can she really leave them behind?

She’s also definitely having a personal crisis with her sexual orientation and she’s afraid thats not gonna fly with her folks. Weather it be because of her Japanese mother and her traditional, conservative attitude towards marriage or her white dad whose spent his whole life in the southern US until he was enlisted in the airforce and met her mother, she’s afraid one of them will have something to say about it. Yeah, they’ve never been anything but encouraging of her in everything else, but still, what if they freak?

Sai: My personal headcannons of Sai and how they interact with this setting are... interesting, to say the least, lol. I completely HC Sai as a transman who uses his shitty humor and sarcastic snipes as a way to deflect anything anyone might have to say about how he doesn’t look like a guy/isn’t a real man/is going to hell/ ect ect ect. He used to live up north, near Boston, but right before starting his senior year of HS got thrown out of the house by his shitty homo/transphobe grandfather (aka Danzo) and had no where else to go except to live with his older brother who’d already left home five years prior.

He totally can’t understand why his brother chose to move down south, right into the middle of the so called “Bible belt” and settle there, but it was his only option to fuck it, it’s that or be homeless on the streets of Boston. It was definitely a huge adjustment period, but eventually he made friends with Sakura (they had their elective art class together in senior year) and she introduced him to Sasuke, Ino, Naruto, and other people.

Sai lives right in the central part of the city, and it isn’t so bad. He has friends who respect him and he’ll tell off any redneck that so much as squints in his direction wrong, but underneath all of that he is a real softie who gets hurt easily. He just wants to finally, actually medically transition and start living his real life.

For the time being, he works as a waiter. He hates dealing with shitty tourists, but at least he usually never sees the same people twice, so its better than working on one of the local farms or local hangouts where people could potentially figure out he isn’t really a guy, just a really skinny girl wearing a binder. Also!! I HC Sai as just being white. He’s so pale come on. No melanin in there dudes. (also bc the way he acts, at least when he first gets introduced, reminds me of a shitty white fuckboi lmao)

Shikamaru: He’s lived here his whole life. He doesn’t have any really strong thoughts about it, doesn’t hate it and want to leave like Sakura, and he doesn’t love it and think its the best town in the whole of the USA like some of the kids he went to school with, either. He’s very meh about this place, like how he is about most things in life, lol. His dad is an elected official on the city council, and he’d love if Shikamaru went into politics as well, but the little lazy ass can’t be bothered. He thinks it’s a drag and he also doesn’t really see the sense in spending thousands of dollars to go to university. He’d rather just go to the local community college, chill with his pals, and (maybe) raise a little hell on the weekends, if he has the energy for it.

Just like in the cannon, he’s super happy to be a chronic underachiever if his family/friends will let him get away with it. Of course though, his dad tries to push him, and choji will encourage him to do better though he isn’t very pushy about it. Ino, though, will nag him every time she see’s him, lol.

I sort of HC the Nara family to be Native American/Indigenous, or at least mixed/partly Indigenous, however I am not NA/Indigenous myself and don’t know enough about the culture or nuance of the different cultures of different indigenous nations to properly write that, without it getting sterotypical/tropey, which is NOT something I want to do. I suppose I could say that the family is mixed, and the older generations are more traditional while the younger gens like Shika are more “americanized” or not as in touch with their culture, but even then, I don’t want to offend anyone or misportray the indigenous identity in any way that could be harmful, so in this fic they will probably end up just being white.

I do think theres a lot that could go into the Nara family’s connection with nature/deer/ect and how most Native American cultures have a very close connection with nature, though.

Ino: Okay, so, right off the bat, I envision Ino as Hispanic AF. Lmao. People are probably gonna give me shit about that, but let me tell you why. I’m married into a Puerto Rican family, and after living with the women of that family for many years, they remind me of the way Ino acts... SO MUCH. Loud, sometimes brash, so fucking fierce, literal goddesses who aren’t afraid to speak their minds whenever, wherever they need to. I’m not trying to say that Hispanic women are rude or can’t read the situation or whatever. Those are all qualities that I admire SO much from my MiL and my partners cousins and aunties. I think Ino is super Hispanic-coded honestly.

Her family probably either moved from Florida, or possibly several generations ago the family were migrant workers who came to this area during some seasons to help with farm work, and eventually saved up enough and settled down in this area (something which is really common in the IRL area this fic is based on). I haven’t really decided yet honestly but one of those two. I think the latter option could give a lot more drama, like, stupid people always giving Ino shit about it and there could be racial tension and different stuff. Ino doesn’t take anyones crap though. Someone is about to feel this babes chancla lmaooo

Wear shoes inside of the Yamanaka home and feel. Her. Wrath. FEEL IT.

Choji: Literally a baby, golden boy, he’s just shy and has no self confidence but hopefully that’ll grow. With Ino always hyping him up and Shika giving him subtle nudges as well he slowly comes out of his shell. I totally HC him and his family as being locals to the region. They live on a farm and own a farm-to-table restaurant that’s not only popular with the tourists that have begun coming into the city but also the locals. Its REALLY popular and for Choji its a source of pride knowing he’ll be able to take over when his Pa retires.

His mom wants him to go to college, even if its just the community college, but even with the success of the restaurant he worries about the money it would take for him to get a quality education, and honestly, it’s not needed, right? He’s gonna take over the family business anyway so there’s no reason for it.

In this fic he really is the poster child for “Good ol country boys.” He works hard, no matter if its in the kitchen with his Pa or helping his cousins pickin crops to bring into town. He’s honest, and a little filled with anxiety, but he doesn’t let it show. Happy to work for the weekend and have some beers with the boys when the week is over. Goes to church every Sunday because his Ma tells him to.

Also drives a pretty ratty pick up truck, lmao. Keeps saying he’ll fix it up one of these days but never gets around to it. Ah, well.

Shino: Definitely one of the “weird” kids in school. He never fit in with the goth/emo crowd, but also didn’t really vibe with the artsy kids either. He was definitely a loner. Is on the autism spectrum, but he’s able to mask pretty well, Really, unless you’re a family member, or Hinata or Kiba, you wouldn’t really be able to tell you’d just think he’s weird. He’s been friends with Kiba forever even though they’re drastically different, personality wise. Kiba’s kinda a fuckboy, sweet talking, ladies man type, but he’s still really sweet and cares about his friends with a ferocity that can’t be matched. Shino and he became friends after Kiba stood up for him on the playground in fifth grade, and the rest is history. Hinata joined their group when they all attended the same summer camp between 7th and 8th grade.

Shino feels more comfortable around those two than basically anyone else, and isn’t afraid to infodump about his special interest (bugs) as long as the other two have time. He’s aroace, but not afraid to tell those two that he loves them (platonically ofc)

He wants to go to uni to become an entomologist, but he’s gotta save up the money first. His family said they’d pitch in to help him so he doesn’t have to take out a bunch of loans, but his family is kind of poor and he doesn’t want to burden them. He feels like being born with autism is a burden enough, although literally NO one else in his family thinks that.

Hinata: I read somewhere one time that Kishimoto had intended for the Hyuuga family, as well as all of the members of team Guy, to have a much more Chinese feel to them and that has stuck with me forever so of course in this AU Hinata (and Neji) are Chinese. Hiashi is VERY strict still and imposes a lot of traditional Chinese cultural values onto Hinata starting from a young age. Originally the family lived in NYC but moved to Florida because Hiashi (and other older members of the family)wanted to go someplace warmer. Turns out, though, Florida is HELLA hot and it was too much, so they ended up settling in TN/NC where the climate is warmer, but more mild than Florida.

(Fun fact: We have a term for people that do this. We call em “half-backers.” Because they moved half way back hgfjhgdl)

Hinata is still very quiet and reserved as in cannon, but I’d like to imagine that when they moved to this town and she met Shino and Kiba, she comes out of her shell, even moreso than in the cannon. She ends up living a sort of double life, where she is quiet, respectful, never talks back and takes care of the household duties at home, but when she’s at school/work/with friends, she’s able to smile, talk, laugh and just generally be more carefree. She doesn’t even stutter, when she’s with the other girls or Kiba/Shino. She only really does it at home because she’s just, SO anxious being there.

Really, it’s quite the toxic situation, and gets even more so when Hiashi finds out that she went to a PARTY with BOYS in senior year of high school. In reality, she only went because she was invited and she didn’t want to be rude, but he really cracks down on those “traditional values” and even starts to suggest that maybe he should try to find a nearby Chinese majority community and see if they have a matchmaker. Or send her back to New York to live with her grandfather.

She quickly moves out and cuts ties with most of her family when she graduates HS. She does feel guilty for leaving her little sister in that house, though. :(

Kiba: Just like Choji, he’s another “good ol country boy” lol. Although in Kiba’s case, he leans a little more “Hell raising Redneck” type in contrast to Choji’s “sweet well mannered church boy”.

His family owns a ranch that raises chicken, goats, and cattle. They sell a lot of the butchered meat to the Akimichi family for their restaurant, and the rest they sell commercially. Kiba’s a good son and helps out with what he can between balancing school and just being a kid/young man. Although, he DOES think it’s fucking annoying when his mom makes him help out during the busy seasons. He complains, Tsume yells and maybe knocks him upside the head every once in a while, he ends up doing what she says anyway even if he grumbles. It’s routine at this point, lmao.

When he isn’t helping out on the ranch or struggling to stay afloat with his studies, he’s out partying with his friends, defending them from other locals, chasing skirts and just generally... raising hell lol. He thinks he’s really smooth with the ladies, and to be fair he DOES get a lot of tail, but mostly from tourist girls who come through on spring break or with their families in the fall to see the Blue Ridge parkway and such. Local girls? Couldn’t nab one if he begged. They all know him and see through his shit.

Although, maybe there is one local girl he could get, if only he’d stop seeing her as just his childhood friend and notice her as a woman.

And yeah!! Those are most of the ideas I have for now, but I’m sure I’ll think of more ahahaha. I’m gonna try to tag this really well so hopefully a lot of people will see. PLEASE let me know what you think and hit up my inbox to talk to me about Southern Modern!AU Naruto stuff. It’s seriously always open and hungry for asks. Also, I get lonely lol.

[pixiemage]

16 and 23?

[Ask Game]

16. What’s an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)?

Hmm...that's an interesting one.

Now I'm the kind of person who has read a vast number of fanfics in my time. If I think of an interesting AU I usually look it up right away to see if it's out there for me to read. (I think I've read every single story of quality in the Peter Parker's Field Trip to Stark Industries tag on Ao3 and beyond.) When it comes to Marvel, I'm a MASSIVE fan of the Iron Dad trope (Tony Stark either adopts Peter, is a father figure for him, or finds out he's legitimately the kid's dad somehow). In MCYT, I find myself gravitating toward Watcher!Grian stories, Hermit!TommyInnit fics (which is how I learned most of what I know about the DSMP), anything from Traffic Life, and basically any story that lays out all the different MCYT universes as being part of one greater universe where they all meet up for MCC once a month.

But in lieu of sharing new AU ideas (because I don't have many and I'd rather save them for my own stories ;3), I'm gonna toss two different fics your way that have absolutely blown me away. They're both angstier than my usual taste but they're both absolutely amazing.

Covet by Oceanbreeze7 | (WIP) Takes place in Boatem during Season 8 of Hermitcraft. An AU in which Grian was never found after Evo and Pearl was taken on as a new Hermit in Season 6 (iirc). They find a strange creature below the Boatem Hole who they dub "Scout"...but Scout isn't what he seems. Heartbreakingly beautiful.

The Take A Chance On Me series by Poppyflowerlesbian | (WIP but it's a MASSIVE BEAST of a story and four novels have been completed thus far) Begins during HC S8, crossover with the DSMP. Ranboo ends up on Hermitcraft during S8, and in the process of helping him get home (and changing the DSMP timeline for the better) they draw the attention of the Watchers. When the Boatem crew jumps into the Boatem Hole at the end of S8, Grian is taken by the Watchers and thrown into the Dream SMP...right before the founding of L'Manburg. He's forced to live through their story alongside them and can't reveal anything about the future. Martyn, Jimmy, and Mumbo are sent to join him at different points to keep an eye on him...and shit goes south REAL quick. (There's Mumscarian, TreeBark, and I think Flower Husbands in this, tons of angst, and a lot of reading. I stopped partway through because I wanted to watch the actual DSMP before continuing, but it's so so good. It's heavy though, so keep that in mind going in.)

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

Ohhh, now this one made me think. More often than not if there's a trope or AU I've been inspired by, I just - write it. Some may never leave my Google Docs but they're out there! That's not to say there aren't some I've never had a chance to try out!

I love reading Time Travel Fix-Its, but it's a genre I've never really tried my hand at myself. Part of that is because I'm a stickler for details and I know I'd have to keep track of a lot of things to make a time travel story work, and I'd want to do it right. Domino Effect comes close, but that's more like a Groundhog Day/time loop fic than actual time travel.

So...yeah. Time Travel Fix-It or even just Time Travel Shenanigans. It'd be a heck of a time. ^^

(Also gonna throw Soulmate AU out there, because even though I'm technically writing in the Double Life soulmate trope for There's Not a Word Yet, I've never written the whole discovering-who-your-soulmate-is thing. I'd love to try that out in the future!)

[maskyartist]

I thought of the characters for my Psychonauts/Persona 5 AU. The characters are Augustus (Fool), Oleander (Magician), Truman (Chariot), Hollis (Lovers), Sasha (Emperor), Donatella (Priestess), Gloria (Hermit), Milla (Empress), and Gristol (Justice).

oh bestie u shouldnt have brought this to me im about to judge the hell out of ur choices cause these? mmmm dont sit right with me, chief :D

first of all, Hollis and Dona need to be switched. Hollis fills Makoto's role MUCH more accurately as she's already very strict in her work space, as well as being very sold on her own idea of persuing justice n such. She's a rough n tough woman and fills Makoto's role better-

-as does Dona filling Ann's role. She works perfectly for the "exchange student whos so pretty everyone hates her" energy Ann has, along with her playing along with Kamoshida's advances for someone else's sake. we can decide a Shiho later >3>

second, Gloria feels like a very out of place addition given that everyone else here is very prominant in Psychonauts 2 rather then Psychonauts 1 (excluding Sasha, Milla, and Oleander), and Gloria just doesnt mesh well with the rest of this cast. if we ARE choosing from the asylum cast, i'd suggest Fred for Hermit, since he'd fit better with Futaba's struggle of seeing hallucinations brought about by her trauma and overcoming the struggles of having an oppressive parental figure become your new mental image for all the bad shit you say about yourself from guilt

i can see Fred awakening to his Persona and finding a cognitive Napoleon in a war game-esc Palace, totally

Truman as the Chariot is...SO out of left field. If anything, Truman and Oleander should get swapped here. Truman is not shown as outwardly loyal and reckless to get what he thinks is right, nor is he shown being firm on his own sense of justice.

but Oleander definitely is. that's literally his entire character arc :D

the rest of the roles i can see fitting, tho. Sasha and Milla work perfectly for their roles I think (tho i would say Milla as the Lovers and Dona as the Empress especially since we as a collective fandom can agree Dona was DEFINITELY from a rich family before marrying Augustus), and Gristol as Akechi is ungodly funny i REFUSE to change that- (plus honestly it works with my own hc of Augustus n Gristol being friends before the deluge happened)

but yeah, this isnt me trying to judge your work or shove my own ideas into ur stuff, however i am ungodly invested in Persona 5 like this has been my special interest since it came OUT and hasnt stopped sense, so i know...a lot about this cast. And a LOT about their personalities, stories, and internal struggles from my many times of replaying this game.

and then u bring in Psychonauts which is ALSO an interest of mine that i've sunk a lot of time into reading and looking over characters n their interactions n like i have a whole BACKSTORY for Augustus written out, along with an idea that could theoretically be a whole third game-

so basically i can confidently say i was NOT the person to come to for this if u wanted gentle advice cause a lot of these choices just feel kinda paper thin and picked out for no real reason, just because they semi-resemble the character in question or fill that character's role and not because of who they are as characters n such

like i cant see Milla and Truman bickering like Ann and Ryuji do, but i can see Dona and Oleander doing that MUCH more realistically since Dona's a hothead and Oleander just speaks outta his ass all the time

...yeah not too sure how to end this, but those are my opinions on ur picks :D the idea's got somethin but the execution is lacking in my opinion, so this is how i'd do it myself but yknow its ur au! u dont need my permission to do jack, have ur fun n explore the characters however u want :D

[bitchapalooza]

I LOVE DADTON HALE ITS SO ENTERTAINING DO YOU HAVE ANY HCS

OMG HI THANK YOU, ITS LIKE MY FAV SILLY AU OF MINE! AND YEAH, I DO!

So like. Saxton KNOWS Spy is Scout's biological father. And he makes it a point to call Scout son right in front of him, mentioning nostalgic stories of things Spy missed out on— just overall being so fucking petty. And it all goes over Scout's head because Saxton is a "gigantic weirdo" anyway. Spy doesn't show it, but he does hate it. He isn't the type to get easily jealous but boy does the switch flip when Saxton is basically bragging about having the honor of being his father, for being there for Scout's detrimental teenage years.

Saxton has a scheduled annual family hike that he has to bribe many of the boys into going on, but strangely enough, Scout is 100% on board to begin with. In fact, Scout looks forward to it. I mean, it is usually in an area infested with things that wanna kill them, but it is pretty and relaxing when those things aren't around. Saxton usually takes care of them quickly anyway. He carries Ma on his back because she's a queen :)

The amount of times the boys have walked in on Saxton talking to his beloved grill-desk even DIRTY TALKING about how he's going to make such sexy steaks of all kinds on it is.......... Traumatizing to say the least.

Socks and sandles and hawaiian shorts. Boy does he enjoy their eye searing suffering on family vacation. He's comfy AND putting the boys through hell! A win-win!

For the second youngest's, Terry, birthday, Saxton bought him a fucking rhino because its his favorite animal. He appreciates the sentiment, but what the fuck is up with rich people, he just wanted some baseball cards and a new bike—

Spy tried telling Scout who he really was and Saxton threatened him! No way in fucking hell was he about to ruin the good mood his son has been in for so long, no longer that hung up on not knowing his biological father and all that. Still obsessed with Tom Jones, but eh, not that big of a problem. Its whatever.

The two oldest, Richie and Roger, were so weary over Saxton at first. No way was the most important man in all of Australia actually in love with their mother— NOTHING against her, its just. Its Saxton fucking Hale! How did he even meet their Ma! Until the engagement, they really fully believed Saxton was just out for something. But over time, Saxton earned their trust. He's annoyingly overzealous, but he has their trust.

In the events of the comic, I like to think Scout was less obsessed with Tom Jones, but still just enough for Spy to disguise himself as him, telling him he's his dad. But in the heaven scene, I feel like he would actually stop mid sentence and finally stop believing his own delusion. The things Saxton has done for him and his family just sinks in and he starts to appreciate it more. But god is like "i brought you down there for the ladies, what the fuck is this sappy crap!" but Scout pays no mind. He wants to go back so he can tell Saxton thank you. But not immediately. Maybe on his deathbed. He isnt admitting shit unless he absolutely needs to lmao.

All in all, Saxton is so happy to be a father. He didn't know he would be, but he's so thankful he is. He tries his best to show his appreciation as much as possible, even if the boys, and Ma, say its over the top. He means well.

[lillian-nator]

Ranch AU

Or, as we all call it, The Cowboy AU 

Essentially, this was something that I created, and it’s gonna be purely fluffy, with a small bit of angst here and there. Any of the angst will be hurt/comfort. It’s meant to make us all feel better after those fucking harsh lore streams. I started it, based off of some shit in the Dad!Schlatt AU, and after that I honestly didn’t write most of it. It had really been a project in the discord, because we were all sad and shit, so if you have some fluff to offer, please do! I am happy to make almost anything canon - and we could always use more ideas. :)

I hope you enjoy some mindless farm boi fluff!

BASIC INFO: 

It's SBI's Ranch (Phil is Dadza, Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur are his sons)

Phil, sells to the local stores, and manages the crops. He doesn't do too much labor anymore. He hired his boys for that.

Dream, SapNap, Purpled, Tubbo, Callahan, and Punz are all hired farm hands

George, Niki, Ranboo, and Fundy work at the shop where they sell their products; Niki makes all of the dairy products, Fundy and Ranboo stock, label prices, and keeps track of sales, and George works customer service with his Gogy magic.

Wilbur works with the sheep, the goats, and he trains the dogs (Collies - they herd sheep), he also works with the crops a lot

Schlatt isn't hired but he might as well be. He can be found wherever Wilbur is, and is probably drinking a beer he stole from Phil. He doesn't get paid, but he eats all of their food.

Tommy works with the cows, the pigs, the chickens, the horses (sometimes), his goose, and the dogs / cats that they own

Tubbo works with Tommy. Essentially. But he also works on the crops, and the bee farm that they have set up.

Techno works with the horses, and is currently training to be a veterinarian.

Dream works on horses with Techno - they race the horses competitively - but otherwise, is where ever he is needed (usually crops)

Purpled works with Tommy and Tubbo. He mostly works with Tubbo on crops and his bee farm.

Punz and SapNap haul things. As your resident Chads, they are in-charge of moving heavy things and doing manual labor.

Callahan is their repair man. He fixes tractors, and machines on a daily basis.

SOME HEADCANNONS: 

HENRY, a saga:

that henry has a matching bandana to the one Tommy has so that everyone knows thats henry. Tommy doesn't like it when people touch henry so henry gets a bandana - Shark -

when Phil first started raising Tommy, he would've never guessed that he would turn out the way he did.

He was loud, and brash, and hit his brothers, and made fun of the neighbor's kids,  but then Tubbo became Tommy's best friend, and then Phil introduced Tommy to the cows.

The cows are Tommy's everything.

When a Bred Heifer is due, he sits with them everyday past their due date - he sat with Betty for 5 days when she wouldn't birth a calf. He was so fucking worried.

When one of his cows are sick, he sleeps in the barn until they get better. His last days with Harvey fucked him up.

Tubbo, Tommy, Purpled, and Ranboo spend long nights at the farm, and Tommy always leans against Henry as he stares up at the stars.

Henry who his best girl (all cows are girls and Tommy doesn't give a shit about gendered names). Henry who wears a matching bandana. Henry who is fluffy, and warm, and Tommy's everything. -

Sometimes when Tommy had a bad day, whether it’s stress, or school, or just whatever, Tommy sleeps in the Henry’s stall with her. Phil has so many pictures of Tommy curled up with Henry. From when she was first born to now. - Eye

Tommy hates winter because that’s the one time of year Phil won’t let him sleep in the barn. Even with the layers and heat lamps it’s too unsafe. Tommy always gets up extra early in the winter. Both because he has to check and break ice in the water troughs but also because he misses his girl - Eye -

Henry's mother, Betty, was the first Cow Tommy had helped during birth. He sat with her for 5 days when she hadn't gone into labor past her due date. It took 9 hours for Henry to be born, and Tommy was there through the entire thing -

Well, almost the entire thing. He was at school for the first hour of labor, and was so pissed at Phil when Phil knew and didn't immediately come get Tommy from School.

It always felt like Tommy and Henry had a special bond because Tommy literally raised Henry from birth. -

They didn't think Henry was gonna make it when she was first born, but Tommy was fucking determined, and bottle fed that cow every single day and night. When she was slowly weened off milk, Tommy got unironically sad that he didn't have to bottle feed her anymore.

He still visited her every morning, and milked her mother at dawn, right after he got eggs from his hens. -

Henry waits for Tommy at the end of their long ass drive way when he gets home from school. She knows that when the bus pulls up that her boy is back and so she’s always there waiting lazily for pets and a nice walk together back to the house. Even when it’s cold and someone is waiting for the kids to get home in an ATV or something Tommy always walks back to the house with Henry - Eye

Thinking about how long these fucking country roads are. And how Tommy and Tubbo have the same bus stop even though Tubbo and Tommy's houses are a couple of miles away. Tommy has to walk a mile to get to the beginning of his driveway, and seeing his favorite girl there is like a reward at the end of a journey. Tommy probably keeps a bag of feed in his backpack, which is just a mixture of grain, hay and corn, and gives Henry a handful to thank her for waiting for him.

Clementine, The Goose: 

Tommy has a goose, and names it Clementine. 

He found her in the woods one day, when she was very young, and he decided he was going to keep Clementine. 

Clementine is only ever nice to Schlatt and Tommy. No one knows why. 

Clementine follows Tommy around. Very endearing. 

Phil doesn’t question it at this point 

NEW MILO, the sequel:

OG Milo is a kitten that Wilbur found on the side of the road, in the rain, and he took the kitten in, trying to save him. Wilbur immediately got attached.

Techno pulled an all nighter, half spent  trying to save OG Milo and the other half comforting Wilbur. "You couldn't have helped, he was too starved and out in the rain for too long." Phil adds that if Techno can't save something, it can't be saved. - Ethan

Wilbur's next cat was named New Milo in honor - Ethan

Anyway, New Milo has three kittens. Blood God, Boots (given to Fundy), and Bumbles (given to Tubbo). They're called the Bees and they were born Christmas Eve - Ethan

BLOOD GOD, the pussy:

Blood God is Techno's cat. Its just a ferall little molly that loves techno too much. - M -

After Techno helped New Milo have her litter, he wasn't originally gonna keep any of the kittens, but he saw this tiny thing with the orange muzzle and just: stole her.

He is also nicknamed Blood God, for both his skill in hunting and healing

He originally named her Piglet because the orange spot looked like a pig snout [the main reason he chose her and not her stronger littermates] but called her Blood God teasingly when he first adopted her

Wilbur didn't realize he meant it as a nickname and told everyone her name was Blood God

Techno still calls her Piglet, but everyone else calls her Blood God because that's the name on her collar.

Most of their cats aren't collared, but Phil made her a custom collar because he was worried she'd get lost hunting with Techno and Dream - Ethan -

Blood God is such a batshit cat. She's a runt, really, oddly small compared to her siblings, and she's their best mouser

She's the cat that everyone leaves scraps for, but never tries to pet out of fear

Often she'll climb up people's legs and sit on their shoulders, and it's the only time you can pet her.

She is very, very affectionate with Techno and he loves her very much. He has her very well trained, and she comes with him and Dream when they go hunting sometimes alongside a terrier.

She's a little itty bitty calico molly and she has an orange patch right over her muzzle - Ethan

TOMMY'S HENS, the chicks:

He gets real defensive of his hens. They lay eggs for him. They deserve to be treated well. -

Tommy does in fact have an egg incubator; Sometimes it's just better. Tommy prefers letting his hens care for their own eggs, but he does still use the incubator - Ethan -

Some chickens enjoy being thrown so they can flap and shit. A few days after passing ownership of the hens to Tommy, Phil is going down to the crops and just sees Tommy chucking his hens and watching them rush back to be thrown again

he feels a hint of "what the hell" but he notes the gentleness tommy does it with and how the chickens seem to be enjoying it and he shrugs and keeps walking - Ethan -

Once Wilbur was helping Tommy with the chickens and he dropped an egg

Unfertilized, of course, but Tommy looked like you'd just punted a toddler

Three years later, Wilbur isn't allowed to touch the eggs anymore

Tommy's paranoid he'll hurt a live one

"Get out." "What - Tommy it was an accident, it was just one egg." "If you aren't gonna treat Phoebe's eggs with care; You can get the fuck out." "Tommy -" "Out." -

the quality chicken eggs depends usually on how the chicken feels. While under his care, the eggs the chickens produced were really good.

Under Tommy's care? Phil's eggs tasted like horseshit in comparison - Ethan -

They have their like, main barn and to the side of it is a little pond. The chicken coops are a little beside it, with the singular duck coop (he only has four ducks) closest. He calls the area the Business Bay

AGES: 

Tommy - 16 Tubbo - 16 Purpled - 17 Ranboo - 17

Techno - 19 Wilbur - 21 Schlatt - 19 Phil - idk like 45 or some dad shit

Fundy - 18 Niki - 19

SapNap - 18 Dream - 19 George - 20 Punz - 19 Callahan - 20

RANDOM HC’S: 

Tubbo, Niki, Ranboo, and Fundy are siblings. -

Whenever they eat meat they talk about who they're eating. 

They tell stories about their day and such but they always start dinner, when its meat, saying "rip lmao" and telling stories about them

...they don’t do it when they eat beef

Everyone sitting down with their plates of ham Wilbur: so who was it? Phil: Fern Tommy, already eating: rest in peace fern Techno: he shat on my boots once -

Each of the boys get a few animals that aren't allowed to be butchered.

Wilbur has Friend, Enemy, and Skit the Bull. (Wilbur wanted to name a Bull "Shit", but Phil said no because Tommy was 11 and already swearing too much for his liking)

Techno has none of the livestock. He only cares about Blood God, and his horses.

Tommy has a pig [currently unnamed], his Hens (6 or 7 of them, that lay eggs), and his dairy cows -

Phil is ALWAYS chewing on straw. -

Tommy, Techno, and Wilbur all call Phil "Pops" or "Pop". They all used to call him "Papa" though. It's like a coming of age thing for the three of them, when they stop calling him "Papa" and start calling him "Pop".

Phil may or may not have cried when Tommy started calling him "Pop" at the age of 12.

ALTHOUGH, all 3 boys know that if you want anything, you call Phil "Papa". Phil can't resist it. -

Techno and Tommy with starry eyes: pops Phil: no Wilbur: Papa Phil, with slightly less confidence: n-no   - Ethan -

Tommy holding a baby calf in his hands that he walls to bring inside for the night because hes in love with her: papa please!! Phil, practically in tears: fine.   - M

[jinxedpanda4life]

DamiRae Hospital AU?

  No I am not writing one, if I could write well I would though! So here are some HCs for a hospital AU.    If someone decides to write this then I’ll be your first reader. Also I am sort of basing things off of Grey’s Anatomy just a bit and my limited knowledge of the medical field.

- Starts of as 1st year residents, specialties may vary

- The “Titans” are residents and 1st years that show great promise, this doesn’t really play a role its just what people call them behind their backs

- Dr. Kori Anders is a OBGYN (women parts and birth) resident, a year or two away from finishing

- Dr. Richard “Dick” Grayson is is a surgery resident, trained by the hospital owner Bruce Wayne (who is a world renowned surgeon, has awards, etc), specifically general surgery

- Dr. Garfield Logan is pediatrician (kid doctor) res, bonds well with kids, but is considering going back to school to become a vet instead

- Dr. Jaime Reyes is an oncology (cancer doctor), having had cancer as a teen and is now forever trying to rid the world of it, works mostly with kids and teens

- Dr. Jonathan Kent is a physical therapist that works with pain management. Up beat guy and is always trying to brighten his patient’s lives.

- Dr. Damian Wayne is a surgical intern, blood thirsty little thing, hoping to become a neurosurgeon (brain, spine) (or cardiothoracic (heart, lungs) both are competitive)

- Dr. Raven Roth is an anesthesiologist (the drug person that knocks you out) and is starting her surgical internship (she wanted to do more than just help people get high essentially or whatever) has no current preference for any specific surgical field

- Add in characters:

-- Dr. Jason Todd, trauma surgeon (fits too well)

-- Dr. Timothy Drake diagnostician (medical detective basically) 

-- Dr. Donna Troy gynecologist

-- Terra Markov is a nurse (i don’t like Terra but nurses are the actual best)

- Story stuff:

- Damian and Raven meet as they are put under the guidance of the same resident

-Damian has an automatic dislike for Raven because she knows everyone already and is equally, if not much more, knowledgable about surgery, the OR, the ER, protocol, etc  He also thinks she is cold because she rarely shows emotion (pot kettle Damian)

- Raven can always be found in the medical archives researching old cases and studying new ones, Damian stumbles upon her when looking for an old cardiomegaly case (enlarged heart).

- Raven gets along with all of the past ‘Robins’ making her a go to intern

- Garfield can be seen whenever he is not needed trying to flirt with Nurse Markov and often goes to Raven to sulk 

- Damian and Raven are always early to pre-rounds and are typically the first ones there (usually early in the morning, getting there before 500)

- Jon bumps into Damian more often than not and they start becoming friends (Damian is reluctant at first and is still you know Damian about everything), Damian even recommends patients to him 

- Though Damian doesn’t want to really ‘hang out’ with anyone he reluctantly hangs out with the Titans, because of Jon and Dick

            - When in a large group when at a bar, club or whatever Damian tends to stay close to Raven because 1) they actually have things to talk about 2) she isn’t loud

- Raven & Damian are both assigned to a case that is frankly befuddling and have to start spending long nights and early mornings together to figure it out

- Over that period of time they learn things about each other:

-- Raven learns: 

Damian has a dog (Titus) and cat (Alfred) 

He is single (Kori told her) and lives in an apartment close to the hospital

He has lived in various countries

He is trained in multiple martial arts 

He prefers his tea with brown sugar and a slice of lemon 

His eyes are a true emerald color with a ring of gold and flecks scattered within 

He may hide it well but when Raven compliments him he becomes flustered

He speaks to himself in Arabic when he curses, trying to remember something, doesn’t want anyone to know what he is saying

He isn’t always an asshole

When he actually smiles a true and genuine smile, she has heart palpitations

-- Damian learns:

Raven has two tattoos (neither are a bird), a gang tat (she is saving up to get it removed), and a mantra in Azarathian; Azarath Metrion Zinthos

She immigrated from Azarath when she was around 8

Her notes are in Azarathian

She actually feels a lot of emotion and knows how to control them

If she is not reading about a current or past case she is reading any book or file she can get her hands on, he has caught her reading in multiple different languages; Azarathian, English, French, Russian, Arabic, Dutch, Mandarin, (could be more or less)

She lives alone and has a cat, Nevermore, and thanks to Dick he already knew she was single

She likes all tea, no matter how prepared, but prefers the sweetener to be honey

Her hair is black but shines purple, especially under the ER lights

Her eyes are a purple that at first glance look blue, like Elizabeth Taylor, he realizes though her eyes are galaxies on their own 

When she smiles the world actually stops moving, her eyes shine like stars and he never wants the world to start moving again

She always wears a necklace with a gold and ruby ring at all times (it was her mother’s wedding ring)

- When Damian starts having le feelings for Raven he considers actually seeking medical advice as this has never happened to him before

- Raven tries her best to contain her feelings when at work, going so far as one day a month staying home just to scream, cry and feel her feelings

- It does not help that new feelings towards Damian start popping up, especially since he starts bringing her tea and hanging out with her at work

- During the middle of their 2nd year of residency someone holds Raven hostage in the hospital to fix someone that person loves (this person had connections to Trigon and knew who Raven was)

- That was not a fun time for either Damian or Raven; Damian was outside the hospital pacing trying to figure something out with the other Titans trying to calm themselves and him down

- Shots are fired and when all is said and done, Raven gets shot in the abdomen and the hand (she was in ICU for a hot sec)

- Damian seemed to be there every time Raven woke up, he was always checking on her during rounds even though he wasn’t on her case

- Raven did have to have surgery on her hand and in her abdomen (idk where i’m not getting that specific), she hated being, in her words, coddled 

- Even though Raven was right handed (the one that got shot) she learned how to do everything, writing, eating, going to the bathroom, etc. (many of the other residents are impressed since she keeps working on it after her other hand heals)

- Raven’s room also becomes a space for other residents to destress and just vent about their day. She listens and gives advice, all without looking up from whatever she was doing. 

- During this time Raven becomes hooked on Pretty Pretty Pegasus

- Raven’s room is also full of cards, flowers, etc all from fellow staff and some from patients. When she leaves (she spends a couple weeks in thanks to multiple surgeries, recovery, and other minor injuries) all of the gifts litter her apartment, the cards end up in a box by her desk, she presses the flowers, and stuffed animals are donated to children’s shelter (she keeps some that she has grown attached to)

- During this time Damian is more of an ass than usual (people notice and tease him)

- Damian at some points keeps working without breaks/sleep for hours on end. Dick pulls him aside after noticing, scolds and forces him to sleep in one of the on call rooms. (He really wanted him to go home, but Damian wasn’t leaving)

- Once Raven was discharged Damian and Garfield help her back home (clothes + gifts + Raven w/a healing hand/other injuries = need help) the other Titans would have helped but were needed at the hospital

- Garfield leaves after dropping off Raven and Damian (and her stuff) as he is called in on a Peds case (could be fake, may not be) and Raven & Damian spend the rest of the time basically watching terrible movies. (with Nevermore sitting on both of them)

- That is the night Damian realizes that not only does he like Raven, but he like likes her. He starts devising plans on how to get her to date him. 

- All his plans basically are thrown out the window because of one reason or another (he kept overthinking it)(poor guy)

- It is not until their 3rd year of residency that Raven realizes her feelings towards Damian (Have I made it clear she likes him? I can’t remember...)

- She realizes her feelings when she has to crash at his place for a night (because he lives ridiculously close to the hospital, like how expensive is that??) and he tries to make sure that she is as comfortable as possible 

- She never realized how much he cared for her? Like she was always helping him out and there for him but she never realized he reciprocated that care? *Shocker*

- Raven becomes kind of a mess because of all her emotions that she is trying to bottle up. (all the corks are disintegrating and the jar is overflowing)

- Raven is during her Ortho rotation (bone surgeon people, they are cool, ik from experience) that she actually gets a good release for her emotions (setting peoples bones and drilling and hammering in pins is actually therapeutic) 

- Raven thinks that may be the specialty she chooses

- Damian saw her as a mess and could not fathom why she was said mess, he figured it was about a romantic interest after someone made an offhand comment about her love life and she became a blubbering mess (very un-Raven like)

- After all of well *motions with hands* that Raven asks why Damian doesn’t have a s/o or someone

- He says there is only person that he has been meaning to ask out (looks pointedly at Raven)

- All Raven says is “Go for it.”

And that is where my HCs end. Now if anyone who happens upon this post decides to write a Medical AU with any of these please tag me, tell me, message me. 

You do not have to give me credit, I just want to read it. 

This took me a couple of days to write up, so if it is disjointed I apologize. 

If anything needs to be corrected for any reason let me know!

 I hope this fuels some imaginations!

-I may post more HC AU things if they come to mind, we will have to see.

[thekisforkeats]

For character: Jon Sims!

First impression: Very good voice but why is he blaming everything on intoxication or head trauma?! (Literally I had to sit my spouse down after MAG 3 and be like "okay but is he going to dismiss every statement" and they were like "just listen to the next one.") Also "damn he's grumpy he needs to chill."

Impression now: A flawed but essentially good person who should never have had to carry the weight of the world on his back. Would fight for him die for him go through fire for him. I love him, Your Honor.

Favorite moment: Torn between two:

MAG 101: The very clear "Fuck. You." he manages through his gag (in the transcript this is "Muffled Feelings")

MAG 102: ARCHIVIST: … Fine. At least we now know you’re of zero practical use here. So aside from sending me other people’s statements, what can you actually do to help? ELIAS: I have been trying to give you the information you need. ARCHIVIST: Sure, when you’re not bashing its head in with a pipe.

Basically, mid-S3 when Jon just stops giving any fucks about being proper and starts telling people how he actually feels.

Idea for a story: I have so many! Right now I'm rolling around an idea in my head about playing with a No Fears AU and specifically a story in which Jon agrees to Fake Date Martin in order to try out presenting as female. "Jon exploring gender" is just a thing I want to do.

Unpopular opinion: As much as I am on Martin's side in, like, "Jon treated him badly from the outset," Jon actually had reason to dislike Martin? A lot? Like, I know people go "oh haha letting a dog into the Archives how cute!!" but no, actually, that Archive was a mess, what if the dog shredded documents? Slobbered on something? Left a mess which it evidently did? And then evidently Jon and Tim had to go deal with the issue.

Like, Martin's behavior that first day was actually pretty unprofessional, just "letting a dog in" accidentally instead of putting down whatever he was carrying and shooing the dog off, etc.

Jon's problem was in how he handled the matter going forward, but I can see why he saw Martin the way he did, it's not like his viewpoint was entirely unfounded. He's in a new, difficult job where he's feeling overwhelmed and the guy who's been assigned to his department without any notification winds up causing issues from the first minute he shows up.

He takes it too far going forward, I think, but it's more complicated than "Martin is so sweet and cute how could Jon ever be mad at him" is what I mean.

Favorite relationship: JonMartin feels too obvious; I am deeply, deeply invested in the relationship between them but it also feels so foundational that it is, like I said, a little obvious.

Generally I love anything exploring Jon's friendships. Jon/Melanie, Jon/Daisy, Jon/Sasha... heck, Jon/Basira, just, I really love anything where Jon gets to be friends with the ladies of the cast. (And Jon/Tim as friends, too, but I tend to ship them as lovers, like, Jon/Martin/Tim. So.)

Favorite headcanon: I really strongly HC Jon as amab non-binary and ADD. Just generally trans and ND Jon is very important to me whatever the specifics.

[pettyprocrastination]

for the love of god please give us some austin powers!whiskey headcanons o queen of au's 😔we're just sluts for ur content

My mf babe boo lee validating this dumb au that i love so fucking much aksksks i have like two hours before all the thanksgiving stuff happens so if anybody wants to send me whiskey shit for this au DO IT!!!

warnings: uhh talk of sex and porn, foul language. theres zero organization or skill put into these i just threw ‘em out there lmao

So the general consensus of this au for those who dont know, is an austin powers au. Yes i said that. 

Jack “whiskey” Daniels is an statesmen from the 70’s who is hailed as a legend for all the lives hes saved and ploys for global terrorism he’d stopped. In his prime, he was cryogenically frozen until the statesmen would need him at a later date (reasoning behind this is vague, even whiskey himself doesnt remember why. He get flashes of distant memories and emotions around it all, but they're gone as soon as they come.)

Cut to modern time, you’re scotch. One of the best agents who’s known for getting the job done with little to no issues, but not known to be a socializer. You are tasked as agent whiskey’s new partner as he is unfrozen and helping him adapt to the new world. 

Now lets get into the fun stuff

With adapting to the new world, you had to teach whiskey about the internet and my god was that tiring. 

He still doesn't get the point of dating apps. “I don’t need a little device to help me get laid, i do just fine with my charms and southern hospitality.” you're pretty sure he only says that because he cant figure out how the fuck to use tinder but you let it go. 

Whiskey hates porn. Like DESPISES it. This is something he decided to tell you with an “urgent” phone call at three in the fucking morning. 

“She’s faking! Thayer all faking!! What’s the point if she doesn’t enjoy it? It’s all a lie! This poor woman looks like she’s in pain!! They’ve made sex a production!! What has this world come to!?!”

You hang up and go back to sleep. 

But yeah whiskey hates it. It’s all fake and over the top and just...not what he thinks sex should be. 

To him sex isn’t a production or a race. It’s a celebration of attraction between consenting adults.  

He enjoys the ametur made stuff, where there’s legitimate attraction between those involved

This doesn't mean he’s vanilla in anyway, he just hates that porn isnt really...sex. Its not mutual pleasure, its all jarring categories, fake moaning and very sexist foundation. 

Once he finds the animal video part of the internet? Oh he’s as good as gone. He thin begins to send you links to videos' showcasing friendships between unlikely pairs, such as a sea lion and a horse, or a monkey and a ferret. You don’t tell him that you watch them all late at night when you cant sleep.

He fucking loves nature documentaries. Especially deep sea ones, focusing on fish that light up or are see-through and shit like that. 

If you watch them with him you admit its...kind of adorable. Like seeing a kid all wide-eyed at the aquarium. 

“You know what’d make this really interesting??”

“We aren’t doing lsd while watching blue planet, stop asking me that.”

He’s done drugs, like, a lot back in the day. Statesmen is stricter now, with regular mandatory drug tests so whiskey cant go out, partying like a madman and taking whatever he pleases. 

Whiskey is bisexual . As is basically everybody i write so when you tell him same sex marriage is legal in all 50 states he legit tears up. 

“Never thought I’d live to see the day.” hes so overjoyed at the news. He knows there's still a long way to go but seeing that, something he’d only dreamed and fantasize about while drawing shapes on the chest of his lover? Oh it makes his heart soar. 

Whiskey is a man with brazen sexuality but of course aware of boundaries. First day you met him you turned down his advances, he accepted this and then decided to latch on as your best friend AND wingman! :D

You cannot escape this fate you're stuck with him now. 

Anytime you go out to a bar he scouts for potential suitors. “How about the blonde at the counter, they're your style!” and before you can tell him NO he’s already swaggering over and chatting you up to them. 

Whiskey, although you hate to say it, is a charming man. Hes kind and suave and will sing the praises of somebody hed only just met and have them melting in a puddle right in front of him. It’s annoying really. You have to listen to all the women at work swoon over him and talk about how youre soooo lucky to be working with him. He must be such a dream in the field. What's it like?

You plainly tell them that the other day you saw him get stuck in a revolving door and he asked for your help.

To get out

Of a door. 

You will NEVER admit this to him but when you were a green agent?? Just starting out?? You had a major crush on the legendary agent whiskey. You’d only seen the photos and heard the stories but god you thought he was amazing. 

Then you became a skilled agent yourself (perhaps also talented with a whip and lasso) and finally met the man himself when he was unfrozen. 

Whiskey calls you “little filly” and will make jokes about how you need to respect your elders. You know since he’s technically like 89 years old lmao. 

Whiskey hates that women gotta shave, he thinks you should do it if you want but the societal pressure of it? He hates it. 

And lets be real, he’s a man of the 70’s so he fucking worships bush. (the pussy not the president) (i have a lot of thoughts on this)

He can and will go down for hours on end, almost selfish with it because he gets as much pleasure from it as you. Pressing kisses and nips on your thighs, mumbling praise against you, homeboy gets straight up pussy drunk and doesn’t know how to speak coherent sentences anymore. 

He’s a cuddler. Even before you started dating he was just very affectionate and touchy. You once had to sleep together for warmth on a mission where you were stuck in the middle of nowhere during winter and he nuzzled and cuddled you all night long with a dazed smile. (he’s also your own personal space heater so that’s nice)

You thought you were over the hype and worship of agent whiskey,and you are, but when you get to know him as a friend and not an agent. As Jack, the fool who cuddles and tries to pair you up and sings out of key while cooking? God help you, your heart starts beating when you see his dimples and big goofy smile and all you can think is. “Oh fuck.”

anyways i reall y love this au and have many thoughts please sedn requests or hcs or anything you want me to expand on <3

[secret-engima]

spideypoolalways

Does Regis ever ask how Titus has papers for the boys? Whats Cor or Clarus' PoV of this? What are some things (fluff or humor) that the boys get up to? Because I can see them getting adopted into the Ulric Clan because of shenanigans and Nyx going 'Yes, these are my people' since LCs just remind me of Ulrics with magic. And how do the Galatians take to the nephew of the Nif Chancellor and clone of the Crown Prince? Since I'm imagining that Titus told some of them and the

spideypoolalways

rest are guessing anyway. And does everyone assume that Noctis and Nox's magics resonated since they're kinda sorta close to each other/are the same person? How does Regis take the news that the only reason that Noctis got healed is because Nox pretty much felt everything Noctis did? /Both/ of his sons were basically attacked by a daemon and he only knew about one of them at the time and didn't do anything to calm or reassure Nox? (Clarus: Only because you didn't know

spideypoolalways

About him, Regis. Regis: Thats no excuse, Clarus.) Does Iris get to be a Shield or did Nox latch onto Axis or one of his kids? Does Acastus find Prompting and drop him off with Noct/Cor? Does Nox hang out with Noct, Ignis, Gladiolus and Prom all the time or does the memories act up enough to make him feel weird about it? How does Regis take his brother and son's Sick Days? What about Dissidia? The 3 youngest Royals getting snatched and the group watching on Crystal

spideypoolalways

Vision? Dad Titus/Regis freaking out over their kids having been summoned to a death match? And how exactly does Titus see the boys? Sons, brothers, cousins? Oooh, more Trauma. Noct, Nox and Acastus w/others playing and end up in the Crystal room. Cue the boys lighting up, maybe passing out because the magic hits their young system really hard (its why Royals aren't supposed to be Presented until 18) and everyone freaks out, and news makes it to Regis and Titus that they

spideypoolalways

Are in the infirmary and the gist of what happened via panicked guards and rush there immediately and are jumped by panicked kids talking and crying about what happened. I didn't realize I had so many questions. But now I need to know. 👀👀 Please!🙏

spideypoolalways

Oh! Just remembered a little more! Does anyone pick up on the people/places that he shouldn't know? Do they assume that Nox got some of it from Noct, like with the Marelith? Or are they assuming LC/ Oracle DNA mix?

Me: Yes, Regis asks about the papers and Titus doesn’t OUTRIGHT admit he did an illegal but he does grudgingly explain that he needed papers in case the NIfs came looking and he ... knows ... a few people who can help ... “recreate” papers for refugees who lost theirs in whatever fire or tragedy drove them from their homes.

Regis mulls over that for ten long seconds then blatantly pretends he never heard it in the first place. Those “people” likely saved the life of his son and half-brother, he can let it slide this once.

I need Nyx Ulric to adopt these two now JUST so Nyx can tease that he’s related to Captain (then later when he learns that they’re Lucis Caelums he can quietly die in a corner because OH NO HE’S RELATED TO THE KING). Not sure how or when Nyx adopts them, but he absolutely does.

It probably happens when he's just a wee bit sloshed. Not enough to be incoherent or insincere, but enough that he doesn’t feel any fear offering to adopt the pair while babysitting them because Captain had to work late and Nyx is off the combat roster until his ankle heals. Once he’s sober he is a Panic™, but Captain takes it surprisingly well and Nox loves his new braid. Acastus just looks Amused™.

Lib slaps Nyx over the head because IDIOT THINK THIS STUFF THROUGH then gives him another drink because TWO MORE ULRICS. It’s a good thing Nyx is an Ulric Keeper in this AU, because he can teach them most of the Ulric Clan stories and dances and make them proper Ulrics.

Acastus loves introducing himself as Acastus Ulric Drautos, both because it’s fancy like “Lucis Caelum” is and also because it made both Titus and Nyx spit their coffee the first time they hear it.

The Galahdians ... have mixed feelings at first. But the predominant one is that it doesn’t matter that this kid is clearly related to the Chancellor (at first they all think the Chancellor bedded Captain’s Aunt, since they don’t know about the LC blood, and that’s why he looks like Ardyn) because Captain has clearly staked a claim on him. Galahd (in my HCs) is a Very Adoption Heavy culture and big on judging people by their current family rather than any previous blood ties, so ... mostly the Chancellor thing gets intensely ignored. Acastus isn’t an Izunia, he’s a Drautos (and then later an Ulric). So they will treat him as such.

But in private there is some debate on exactly what happened, for the Chancellor to vanish around the time his ... relation (son? They mostly assume son), shows up in Drautos’s care.

No few number of them think Titus stumbled on Ardyn with the two kids and killed the Chancellor to save them.

For Nox ... the Lucis Caelum blood is basically impossible to hide. This boy LOOKS like a literal carbon copy of the Prince but younger and he’s young so his control over his magic is ... not. Not that good. Especially not when there’s so mUCH of it.

All of Galahd listened to the Glaive who was on babysitting duty when Nox had a rare tantrum and skewered the wall with ghostly blades and all privately, immediately agree to Never Tell Anyone. Ever.

Well. To be fair, they do debate whether they have a duty to tell Regis, but again the Adoption Culture comes into play and they decide it’s up to Titus to spill that secret. A few Glaives do ask Titus about it (Titus nearly has a heart attack because SINCE WHEN DID THEY KNOW) and when they ask if they know who the mother was, Titus looks very grim and very, very quiet for a long time, then admits:

There is no mother. There never was.

They stare at him in confusion until Acastus, lurking nearby with too-sharp eyes, gives a smile that could cut and says brittlely that “amazing things that can be done with science these days you know. Truly amazing. Why, get a blood sample and a tank of the right solutions and you could probably grow anything you wanted”.

The Glaives are Horrified™. So is the rest of Little Galahd when it gets around and then is made a Clan Secret by all the Clans unanimously. The secret never leaves the borders of their little slum.

Also yes, people assume that Noctis’s and Nox’s magic resonated because Nox is a clone and it freaks them out.

Regis is Such A Guilt when he finds out how Acastus knew about Noctis’s injury. No it doesn’t matter that he DIDN’T KNOW NOX EXISTED. One of his son’s (his FIVE YEAR OLD son) was suffering. Was screaming in agony and terror and Regis didn’t do a THING about it and no amount of logic can make that better.

Nox latches onto Axis’s triplets in this AU so while Iris will be best friends with him, his Shield, Hand, and Sword are actually all made up of Axis’s three kids. Axis is a BIT of an internal Scream when Nox is at the age people start making noises about him building a Retinue and taking Iris as his Shield and Nox goes, “NO. I have a Shield already! A Hand and Sword too!” And stuff spirals out to reveal Axis as Clarus’s kid (Clarus takes it much better than Axis thought he would, tho Axis didn’t expect to see Lord Amicitia go deathly pale and sit down hard in the nearest chair).

Honestly Iris might be the future love interest in this AU you never know. It would be hilarious if nothing else.

Bold of you to assume Acastus didn’t find Prompto early and bring him home to NOX because “Look Beloved Nibling I Found You A Friend!”. Prompto is a confusion because Nox is like- 4 at the time. But Prompto likes babysitting and playing with Nox and hearing Acastus’s stories and Titus just kinda- sighs his way through the playdates until he realizes that Prompto has been staying in his house for about two weeks with no sign of the parents.

Titus, after much snooping later, sitting at the kitchen table of Grandma Ostium quietly pulling his hair out: HOW DO YOU ADOPT A THIRD CHILD. DOES IT COUNT AS KIDNAPPING IF THEY COME OVER AND STAY WITH YOU FOREVER AND THE LEGAL PARENTS NEVER NOTICE. ACASTUS WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME.

Acastus: I regret nothing. Do you want me to fake Prompto’s death? I’m sure there’s enough Prompto’s out there that nobody will notice if you gain a nephew called Prompto Drautos.

Titus, holding his face in his hands while Grandma Ostium laughs at him in the corner: NO, ACASTUS. DO NOT FAKE THE DEATH OF THE CHILD. How do you even know how to do that? Nevermind I don’t want to know.

Roughly a year later when Everything Gets Revealed, Titus and Cor: *intense staring contest over Smol Blond Child*

Cor: You don’t know where he-

Titus, growling like a cranky Behemoth that might very well bite off someone’s head: He’s a Niflheim created clone. I know.

Cor: ....

Titus: He's been living in my house for a year. I’ve seen the barcode. It’s not like I wasn’t raising one already.

Cor: His legal parents-

Titus: Is me. The Argentums were emotionally neglectful and didn’t even notice when he hadn’t come home for a week and a half.

Cor: *guilty angry silence*

Titus: ...Kid could use an uncle. If you want to man up and be part of his life.

(hgfhg this is post is getting long Imma try to speed through the last questions a bit)

Yes, Nox hangs out with the Chocobros when he can because he adores them (especially Brother Prompto and Team Mom Iggy) but he also has his own friend group in the Little Galahd community so it doesn’t strike anyone as odd really. Nox is a naturally loving child for all he’s shy and Iggy and Gladio are Noctis’s friends and Prompto is his adopted brother (and later Noctis’s best friend).

Regis does Not take the Sick Days well. It makes him alarmed and angry because Lucis Caelums aren’t supposed to get sick days from their own magic and it speaks of BAD THINGS that both of the presumably experimented on and tortured LCs have them.

I’m going to have to come back to Dissidia another time (someone remind me) because this post is too long to ramble here but it would be- it would be Great. Honestly. It would either be the 3 littlest, just Acastus, or just Acastus and REGIS for some brotherly bonding and any of them would be Great and Chaotic. Crystal-o-vision absolutely happens.

The Crystal Room is under 24 hour guard so I don’t think the kids could wander in by accident, plus Acastus would actively avoid the area because of his Trauma.

Now Acastus being presented when he turns 18 on the other hand... >:))))))

Short Version: Much shouting, much alarm, much angst from Regis and Titus and everyone and also the first Sick Day Acastus has had since he turned 17 and by far one of the worst he’s ever had in his (second) life.

I might to a longer version later but not right now.

For Nox’s oddities and odd knowledge they kind of assume both? At first they think it’s just him resonating with Noctis so deeply that there’s a transfer (cue angst from Regis because what is going to happen to Nox when Noctis fulfills his destiny as Chosen King???) but then when Nox starts knowing stuff Noctis doesn’t/can’t know, they start to wonder if the scientists ... Tampered with his DNA. If they got their hands on Noctis’s, which should have been impossible, then it’s not all that out there they got their hands on Oracle DNA.

Sylva is ... very alarmed and very confused when Regis secretly contacts her on a secure encrypted line to ask if there were any ... symptoms to look for in an Oracle child. Because- yes there were but WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW?

Regis: they wouldn’t happen to be *lists very specific things*

Sylva: ....Have you seen any Messengers nearby lately.

Regis: Carbuncle, a black puppy that disappears into thin air, and a bird woman who can summon wind storms. She calls herself Garuda.

Sylva, having a minor crisis behind her Queenly Facade: I am Very Sure I only have two children so please explain this. Right Now.

Regis: Well............. NiflheimclonedmysonandIthinkmixeditwiththednaofyouoryourdaughterandhehasseerpowersandImayormaynotbepanickingrightnowpleasehelpme.

Sylva, slowly running that over in her mind and figuring out what Regis just said:...

W H A T.

XD Honestly Niflheim might invade Tenebrae only to find the royal family gone because Sylva coincidentally packed her backs and took her and her children on a secret trip to Lucis to have a look at Nox, then since they’re there when Niflheim invades and a spy gets word on what just happened Sylva and Co just- stay there. Oracle Mom Death averted.

Also they absolutely think that it’s Luna’s DNA they used to make Nox because of how instantly Nox gloms onto Luna like a limpet- JUST like he did with Noctis and Regis, and how Luna gets this dazed look in her eyes as their magic tangles and she whispers, “I ... I know you. I know you, don’t I Little Prince? I met you in a dream.” Luna starts crying softly as she pets Nox’s hair and when Sylva asks in alarm why she’s crying, Luna blinks and whispers, “Because he was crying in the dream, and I couldn’t comfort him.”

Acastus lurks in the shadows, watching it all with ... very mixed feelings.

Oracles. He could have gone his entire second life without meeting anymore Oracles. Aera she looks so much like you is that what our daughter would have looked like and oh astrals I KILLED her. I killed the girl with your eyes and your smile and laughed about it later.

[snakeboistan]

3-E Looking After Flour Babies

So, I read this Haikyuu!! Home Ec AU about the main Karasuno ships looking after a flour sack baby for a week and getting really into it so I’m gonna write some about 3-E

Karma and Nagisa: Karma teaches it self-defense by showing off his knife collection (Nagisa has about fifty heart attacks every time Karma would do his knife tricks). Nagisa didn’t realise how into it he got until Karma was about to kiss him and he was like ‘not in front of the baby’ without realising that the baby...is a sack of flour. Karma tries to take it on ‘character building exercises’ but Nagisa wouldn’t let him. Basically Nagisa’s the worried parent and Karma’s the cool, fun parent. Nagisa won’t let Karma use any violent language (yes, even ‘assassinate’) in front of the flour baby and covers it in blankets and sets it down on pillows after double checking that the area is all clear. They dress it up in one of Nagisa’s old Sonic Ninja t-shirts and they play with both of the boys’ action figures. They have superhero movie marathons and Karma has like a hundred new pictures on his camera roll. Karma teaches it torture techniques and the best way to fight whilst also planning for him to dominate the world. Nagisa reads it books. Karma will fight anyone that even looks at his kid wrong.

Maehara and Isogai: Isogai is just perpetually sighing and shaking his head at Maehara loudly proclaiming how proud he is of their son (‘how do you know if it’s a boy? It’s a sack of flour’ ‘shh, Yuuma, I just know’). Maehara has definitely gotten into fights with other classmates when they even insinuate that his kid isn’t the best. He gives the sack cute nicknames and keeps on referring to Isogai as ‘your father’ (Isogai flushes every single time he does that). Isogai, being the older brother of two elementary school kids, is much more careful and does things like putting it in a highchair, tucking it into a handmade bed, reading it bedtime stories. His siblings have even gotten into it - calling themselves ‘uncle’ and ‘auntie’ (Isogai’s heart melts). Maehara draws little antennae onto the top of the sack ‘for authenticity’. Maehara is also strangely protective of the baby, he even goes so far as to cover its ‘ears’ whenever they talk about food because ‘do you know how many recipes use flour, the poor child will be traumatised’ and is always the one that carries it around. He comes to school each day wearing sunglasses and one of Maehara’s necklaces

Kurahashi and Yada: Are very proud parents of a purple flour sack. They wrap it up in a butterfly-patterned shawl and take it with them on hikes around the mountain and on walks in gardens. Kurahashi teaches their child about bugs and takes endless pictures of the three of them together. Yada likes to play dress up with it and gives it lots of hugs because she’s a very proud mama. They make plans for their baby to be the CEO of a business and the three of them are just a very happy and wholesome family

Hayami and Chiba: They are the most chill about this project but will shoot anyone that comes close to their kid. Chiba listens to his music with the baby and Hayami just makes sure that the flour sack doesn’t get ripped. They teach it how to shoot. Chiba lets it sit in his lap when he reads architecture books and watches architecture documentaries. Hayami is low-key salty that she has to go a week without cats because Chiba was scared that the flour baby would get scratched. They’re good parents that just watch all of the other parents get into fights.

Sugino and Kanzaki: Sugino is just internally screaming the whole time because he got paired up with Kanzaki OMG OMG MY DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE. Sugino is scared of playing baseball with it so he just watches matches with it and teaches it how to play by pointing out the other players’ tricks. Kanzaki teaches it how to be a boss™ at video games - she basically speaks to the child all cutesy and sweetly before immediately obliterating the opposition. (Nagisa’s phone blows up with texts from Sugino about how awesome his life is. Nagisa just watches Karma go over using shoes as weapons and sighs). Sugino dresses it up with one of his old baseball shirts and is a very proud papa. Their kid is very loved and they both decided that he would be a famous baseball player that designs video games in his spare time.

Alright IDK what other pairings I would do so here are some general HCs

Everyone prays for Fuwa’s kid because she comes in every day with the flour sack dresses cosplaying as a different manga character. Her social media has a dozen ‘Mother and child photoshoot’ pics and Fuwa is beaming with happiness at her little otaku. The sack’s bedtime story is a volume of manga and she watches anime with him. His face has character stickers on it.

Sugaya’s flour sack is decorated with erasable markers so he comes with a new design every day.

Hazama dresses her kid in all black and teaches it curses. She reads gothic literature to it and they visit graves together.

The Terasaka squad are just disasters as usual but Terasaka has gone all mama bear on them because he’s actually taking all of this seriously. It’s cute.

Kimura, Okano and Sugino are being full on Jock parents and training their kids to be the best athletes ever. 

They all make a very detailed daily planner for play dates and when’s ‘nap time’ and stuff like that

They refuse to be parted from their children but realise to that it would be unsafe for them to be in a classroom where bullets will be flying and assassinations happen so they leave them in the staff room with very threatening warnings to Karasuma and Irina to keep them safe

Both teachers actually got scared