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futureplayboibunnie · 1 year

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Aphrodesiacs

Miguel O’Hara x fem! spidey! reader

yk that bit of spiderman lore between silk and peter where they were bitten by the same spider and can’t be near each other without feeling….

yeah this is that but with Miguel. SO NSFW. i love blue balling y’all. PART 2 IS UP NOW!

There were certain things that were absolutely not up for discussion when it came to Miguel: his leadership skills, his authority, his ability to lead this society, his daughter and…you.

There were too many issues to discuss about your strange…he didn’t even know what to call it at this point. See, you were both bitten by the same spider which everyone deemed highly impossible, but it happened. What came with being bit by the same spider were chemically and biologically bound side effects no one knew the first thing about. You and Miguel were more enhanced than the others, in many ways, many uncomfortable and impossibly distracting ways. You were physically drawn to each other, unable to physically feel anything but an intense primal, primitive and animalistic sexual attraction to one another. Neither of you could be in the same room without wanting to fuck like bunnies. The chemical compounds in your brains were the same, and it made you both become aphrodesiacs for each other. No one knew about it other than Lyla and Jess.

This was a problem, he was your boss and you couldn’t actually look at him without feeling hot and wet, you had fangs the same way he did but no one knew about it, Lyla made sure of it. Miguel on the other hand was a wreck because of it, his blood would burn at the mere thought of you. He worked his body out to the bone, he would work out and sweat the thoughts and desires away from him. It never worked. But he needed to pretend it did. Neither of you would anticipate how drastic it could be. You knew it was the genetics and the chemicals from the same spider that bit you which made you weary of ever getting close to one another but Lord, the desires were still there. It felt like you were muzzled and on a leash, hindered by moral righteousness. You both knew you couldn’t give in but that was rather difficult when you actually needed to see one another.

You ripped a hole in your suit, where your waist was and only Miguel seemed to have the supplies to fix it. A massive horizontal gash that exposed your skin. Your brain was dreading to see him, your heart said otherwise and your pussy throbbed at the mere idea. It was like you were magnets, constantly avoiding due to the the impossibility to be pulled apart. Taking a deep breath to keep a cool calm head seemed to work momentarily and then you walked into his lair.

Miguel could smell you from here. His skin tightened and his muscles tensed when he felt your scent wrap around him, like a warm golden glow. He would taint you in red. He would break you. He knew this. That’s why he could never….

“You know you can’t be here.” He sighed, ignoring your presence as he was staring blankly at his screens. “You know I can’t concentrate.” He added quietly.

You swallowed thickly and closed your eyes, wincing slightly. “I know we’re not- Look, I just need you to fix my suit and Lyla told me I had to fix it immediately or the wiring would go to shit. You know I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t need to.”

Miguel paused and blinked slightly at the last thing you said. You did need to see him. You did need to be here but neither of you wanted to talk about the true reason. He turned his head to face you. He wanted to groan at the sight of you.

Miguel had to force himself not to stare at your body and the way your suit clung to it, there was a massive gash in it that exposed the skin of your waist. Why did God always have to test his patience? Lord above give him strength. Even with his impeccable self control and strength, it took everything in his power to resist the urge to throw you against the floor and...Miguel groaned softly and rolled his eyes. “If that's what it takes...”

“I know you want to get rid of me quickly. I promise it won’t take long.” You say hurriedly as you hop onto his platform. You were really close to each other now, You swallowed and your breathing became slightly more shallow. Please let this be quick. Please. You begged silently. “I just need you too stitch my suit on my waist for me.” You say. “Quickly…” You added breathily. You had to get closer for him to actually help you and as he sat in his chair and pulled out his supplies, he raised an eyebrow to lure you closer. He felt his body tighten as you breathed so near him. The electricity was sizzling between you. Your heart beats synchronized and your minds only on one thing.

You got closer and you were practically standing inbetween his legs, you saw his breath hitch slightly but Miguel was a master at not letting his mask slip. He was good at pretending. His brow furrowed slightly, making a fruitless effort of avoiding that fucking look in your eyes. That face. Fuck.

This was bad, this was so dangerous. Being this close could end in a catastrophe for the both of you.

He paused before he put his fingers on your suit, a spark of electricity caused your body to still. He just closed his eyes and breahed out hurridly. He bit the bullet and grabbed your waist for you to stumble closer.

He needed to get this over and done with. No matter what it took, he needed to get you away from him. You gasped a little when he did that and he could feel that sound travel all the way to his dick. He tried to ignore it by getting to work and scanning your suit and then stitching up. His fingers worked at the speed of light. Your eyes just widened, continuing your mindless gawk as hazy thoughts of grabbing his hair and lowering his head further down between your thighs clouded your head. You tried to shake the sensation of his hands gripping your waist but it felt impossible, part of you genuinely wanted to grit your teeth until they shattered- the tension hurt.

Miguel always seemed to be perfectly fine on the outside, he had masked emotions other than anger or annoyance very well but this was causing that picture of himself to falter at the seams. Internally, he was breaking apart. Weakened by desperation. Lord, you were his weakness.

Images of you flashed through his head as he stitched, he wanted you tied up. Yes. With your own webs. Letting him have his way with you, pounding you until you cried and begged him to stop. He would fill you up, make you guzzle his cum as you pleaded for more. He let out a soft grunt at the sheer idea.

His fingers moved quickly as he sewed your torn suit together. “Why are you always getting hurt?” Miguel's voice was raspy, and he was unable to control his breathing. Miguel did his best to look away, but the smell of your exposed your skin was making it hard for him to think clearly. Your body was perfect. Jesus, it was like it was made for him.

You swallowed hard, your thoughts became hazy as he was this close. His hands were brushing on you and you tensed slightly at his fleeting barely there touchs. “Mm- I’m not always getting hurt.” You say softly, if you said it any louder you were sure you would moan.

“Right,” Miguel mumbled softly, his words catching in his throat. “I'm sure you were just passing by when you ran into trouble.” Miguel kept his eyes down to avoid meeting your gaze. All you could do was scowl at him. He finished his work and immediatly grabbed your waist and pushed you away as he got up from his chair to stare at his screens again as a means to avoid looking at you. “Don’t come back here.” He muttered at you seriously.

“I won’t.” You glowered at his broad and muscular back. You lied though, you were sure you’d be back. “But…I can’t keep going on like this.”

His ears pricked up at your admission and he felt the exact same way. Miguel's body was on fire. He wanted you. Right now. He didn't know what would happen if he gave into his urges. His body was shaking, and he had to make a conscious effort to keep his hands to himself. He was trying not to touch you, but every move you made, every tiny shift, only made your body more desirable. “Please, go.” Miguel choked, his voice harsh and strained.

You did as you were told and you hurriedly left. Praying that this would naturally wear off as long as you stayed away from him.

It had been a few days since your interaction and you had both successfully avoided each other since then but he could still feel your presence whenever you were at HQ. He could still feel the air in his office carrying your scent.

Now it was 2AM and he was still in his office. He was banging another hookup over his desk, she was bent over just so he couldn’t look at her. She was pretty but she wasn’t you. As his dick slid in and out, her moans fell flat to him, he only wanted to hear you. He was praying that this one would be the one that made him forget about you, that this one would tamper down his sexual anger and frustration but no. He got angrier. Animalistic. All he could think about was you. He was pretty sure he was hurting her when he was like this. His mood soured when he wondered what he would do to you if he finally gave in. Would he hurt you? God, what if he did….

He never wanted to hurt you.

He knew you would never be able to take it, to take all of it.

You on the other hand were in your apartment, also fucking a random hookup. You were hoping it would help your predicament but if anything it was making you more frustrated. He wasn’t fucking big enough. Yeah, his dick was better than average but it didn’t have the girth that Miguel would- You shook your head out of any thoughts of him and decided to be in the moment. You decided that it was a terrible moment. There were much more irritating things than faking an orgasm like your incessant need for Miguel.

Even though you were being fucked by another guy all you could thing about was: Miguel, Miguel, Miguel.

Nothing was working, for either of you.

Your mind wandered towards another way to fix this. Maybe there was a suppressant or an antidote to help keep down these primal urges and desires. These thoughts were keeping you from doing any sort of work, you couldn’t concentrate properly. Your mind was burned alive by constant thoughts of him in so many different situations. So you decided to talk to him about it. He’d probably end up killing you for even thinking about it but you were way passed that.

You sighed deeply before thrumming up the guts to see him again. Entering his lair was never a welcome idea to anyone but you and him were struggling and he was lying to himself. Miguel felt your presence again, your scent, your skin. He tampered down the jumping urge to drag you by your ankles and-

“I know you didn’t want me here again but we need to talk.” You crossed your arms but it further accentuated your chest, his stare lingered for a moment and he looked blank. Then he looked back down at a new suit he was fixing up and seemed unamused. That look just made you even more wet and desperate for his attention.

“No… we don’t.” He said thickly and your knees started buckling under the pressure. You swallowed.

“Uhm…there has to be an antidote for this or a suppressant for whatever…this is.” You said hurriedly. “Maybe I can manufacture one, I think I might be able to if I could genetically scan the spider and take it’s DNA and change its raw qualities…” Miguel watched you pace desperately as you rambled on, not even looking at him, you were pleading for a solution to this and he was getting more and more annoyed.

He stared at your lips as you spoke. Flashes of you on your knees, drooling and gagging on his cock pierced the forefront of his mind, causing his legs to feel nothing but limp. The things he wanted to do to you. He was an addict because of you.

“There is no cure for it!” He grunted loudly, cutting you off. “Hell, I’ve tried to make one since the first day I met you and all you’ve done is make me lose my fucking self control. You just standing there is enough to make me go crazy for you and I. Can’t. Help. It. I can smell you, I know you want me too but we have to fight it. We have to manage this because if you let me get close to you, I know I’ll hurt you and I won’t let that opportunity arise.” He admitted in a frenzy, his teeth almost shattering against each other, jaw clenching and unclenching. He ran a hand through his dishevelled hair as his eyes bore a ruby hue and his breathing became uneven and heavy.

You bit your lip at his angry outburst, not being able to deny how turned on you were by his rage and lack of self control. Part of you thought your mind was playing tricks on your or that you were hullicinating all of this as you were dulled by a cloud of lust, but no. You were very aware now that it was real. You were both feral for each other. You just glowered him.

“I have denied every single impulse I have ever had for you.” You grit out. “Maybe I want you to make it hurt, because any other kind of hurt right now is better than the pure need for you to fuck me right here, right now. You are not the only one who is capable of making another person hurt. Maybe I blame you. Maybe I can’t get you out of my head. Maybe I need your cock in me. Whatever….I just need to do something about it or else I’ll go fucking insane.” Miguel watched your brows furrow and your lips loosen as you uttered those fated words. His eyes glazed over twice and widened, your words were sharp and unfeeling. He believed that if you weren’t this way you wouldn’t find a need to be cruel and direct, the way your eyes glimmered yet darkened with need and passion caused him to halt in his tracks, now you were inching closer to him and he didn’t know what to do.

“It's impossible to create an antidote,it genetically and chemically changed our code.” Miguel mumbled, his voice husky and strained. “We're stuck like this...” He sighed, trying to collect himself. “Look, we just have to learn how to handle this," Miguel muttered, trying to convince himself more than you. “We'll learn to control ourselves. This...this is manageable.”

He didn’t believe any of the lies he spewed. There’s no way this was managable.

“Why do I get the feeling that that is not true.” You say softly, biting your lip and blinking up at him. Neither of you knew how you got this close now, it was like you were drawn to each other.

“Stop giving me that look. I-I can’t-“ He breathed heavily, trying to rescue himself or beg for your mercy. He didn’t know which one. Miguel hung his head and quickly turned his head as to not face you. “I’ll hurt you.” He added stoically.

“I. Don’t. Care ”

#spiderman 2099 #miguel ohara #miguel o’hara angst #miguel o’hara smut #atsv miguel #miguel o’hara #miguel o’hara fluff #miguel o’hara x reader #across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara

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ownlittleuniverse · 5 months

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snippet #2 - the villain surprises the hero

warning: captivity, torture, restraints, blood, harmful behavior, touchy villain (not nsfw), depictions and descriptions of physical violence, may be uncomfortable or triggering for some readers, reader discretion is advised.

The hero had been captured again, tied to a chair, blindfolded, and beaten to a pulp until the only thing they could taste, smell, feel, was their blood.

It was routine at this point.

Get captured, refuse to give up information, get a few new scars before their team showed up. At a certain point, these so-called villains became predictable. None of them truly scared the hero anymore.

The hero’s head came up at the sound of a door creaking open then slamming shut, footsteps following behind. They clenched their fists against their restraints, sighing, preparing themselves for another round of mediocre scare tactics.

The footsteps of the person started to become louder and louder, the hero could hear them slowly circling their chair like they were tracking prey.

They stopped right behind the hero, their breath tickling their ear, making the hero shiver behind their blindfold.

Their captors before had never gotten this close, at least without a weapon or some weak verbal threats. This felt… different somehow. It made the hero a bit antsy. Their chest became heavier as they listened to the sounds of the person’s even breathing.

Their gut was trying to tell them something.

Something was wrong-

Their heart stopped when they heard the person’s whispered voice.

“Hello, Darling.”

No.

The hero frantically jerked at their restraints but they wouldn’t budge, it only made the rope dig more into their body. Loud and panicked sounds escaped them as their heart started to beat in their head.

The person only chuckled at their attempts to free themselves.

No. No.

They— there… it’s not possible.

“Did you miss me?”

No. They needed to get out. Tears started to seep through their blindfold, as well as sweat as they jerked their head around. They couldn’t get out, they couldn’t even see where they were. The hero was frantic, horribly panicked, and the villain reveled in it.

The villain was the only one who could evoke genuine terror from their hero. Turn them into a screaming, begging mess at their feet.

The villain trailed their hand delicately over the hero’s neck, wrapping their fingers around them and stroking. The hero let out a choked whimper, their body completely shivering.

“You never thought you’d feel this again, did you?” The villain smiled, “My touch making you deliciously crazy?”

No. They didn’t. The villain was supposed to be dead.

The hero’s breathing grew more erratic by the second, more and more tears streamed down their face, mixing with the dried blood and stinging their fresh shallow cuts.

They saw their dead body. They buried them in that grave. They stuck that knife in their chest so many times they lost count as they watched the life drain out of them. How?

“It’s been far too long, my love,” the villain said, “I think we should relive some good memories.”

The hero couldn’t answer, only cry out and tried to wiggle their way out of their restraints again and again and again. It was a pity, the sight of someone trying to escape the inevitable.

The villain started to slowly lift the hero’s ripped sleeves, rolling them to expose their skin. No. No. No. Anything but that.

The villain watched in awe as their hero completely lost it and tried so hard to escape them, even though their hero was smart enough to know there was no hope. No one was coming to save them.

“Sh, sh, sh,” the villain cooed, their hand sickenly stroking the hero’s neck like comfort, “There’s no need for that, you know you're not escaping me.”

The villain trailed their hands softly up their hero’s arms, leaving goosebumps in their wake. They loved how their hero tried to push them off, completely losing it when the villain finally touched their scars.

They had dreamed of touching these sensitive things again. The deep scars they left all over. They hated the scars others dared to leave. They already killed those others who dared to call themselves ‘villains’, who dared to touch the hero. Only they were allowed to touch their little hero like this.

“All our fun times, etched into your skin,” the villain said in awe. Their hero tried to get out of their hold, their sobs echoing across the room.

The scars felt different this time, some of them. The hero must have tried to rid themselves of their marks, but failed miserably. How cute.

Their hero should know better than to try to rid themselves of the villain.

They continued to trace over the uneven skin, the memories of the many long lovely torture sessions they subjected their hero to flooding their brain, and they were sure their hero was reliving it too.

“Stop,” the hero whispered, choking on their sobs, “Please-

“Just like my scars,” they cut in, pressing delicate kisses to the skin making the hero’s body shiver, “I will never leave you, love.”

It has been so long since the hero felt that terror, the feeling of adrenaline rushing through their veins, their heartbeat reaching heights that could kill them. Their breathing was so rapid, their body was in a state of complete shock and panic.

They forgot what it felt like to be terrified, and they wished it stayed that way. They thought they made sure it would.

“But, you did leave me,” The villain dug into one of their scars, making them gasp, reopening it and letting their hero’s blood trickle down their fingers.

“You left me to rot in the ground,”

“I-I didn’t-”

“Let the world forget about me.”

The villain dug in deeper. The hero cried out.

“Let yourself forget about me,” the villain whispered, their breath over the hero’s mouth.

“I’m- sorry.. please— I’ll do-“

The hero jerked and sobbed again as the villain ripped off their blindfold, the light seering their eyes.

“Your begging is pitiful,” they spat.

The hero’s eyes adjusted to the sudden light as they looked up into the villain’s. They jerked their head away. Those same eyes haunted them when the hero slept, even when they thought they were buried deep underground.

The villain grabbed the hero’s chin, digging their nails into the skin and forced their head back up.

“You really thought you could get rid of me?” the villain snapped, venom lacing every syllable.

The hero sniffled, their eyes completely bloodshot from their tears.

“I’m not going anywhere,” the villain whispered with crazy in their eyes, “and neither are you.”

The hero couldn’t answer, only cry out as exhaustion took over their body. Their body stopped fighting, just twitching every so often from the adrenaline. They were slowly accepting their fate.

“I’m keeping you, Darling,” the villain smiled, stroking the hero’s chin, “and I promise you, this time, you’ll never be able to forget me.”

The hero whimpered a slur of incoherent words in response.

The villain loved their hero like this, shaking and on the verge of insanity knowing what things the villain was about to subject them to. It was a sight the villain was going to come back to every single day. They planned to come back every night, keep them tied up, bloodied and bruised, completely helpless and at their mercy. Then afterwards, they’ll really get to work on molding their hero into perfection.

The villain mercilessly tied the hero’s blindfold into a gag, enjoying the way the hero jerked in response, and took a syringe out. Their hero’s eyes winded, as they tried to plead behind the fabric, but the thing was too tight.

They sobbed. The hero knew what was coming next. They remembered, those memories were burned inside of them. Cut into their skin.

“Don’t worry,” they whispered, kissing their hero’s tear and blood-soaked cheek, “I’ll be all you ever think about soon enough.”

They could only cry and try to plead through their eyes, shaking their head. The villain though had no mercy for them whatsoever.

Their hero betrayed them. They stuck a knife in their heart when the villain let themselves believe someone actually cared for them, they finally let themselves trust and their little hero shattered it.

They stuck the syringe right in their scar. Their hero let out a scream of terror covered by the fabric.

Now it was only fair they would shatter them in return.

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pushingmylimit · 1 year

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I'm still running, anywhere from 6 miles to 15 miles most days.

But to be honest, I've been a mess. I generally have a great deal of stress in my life most days, it goes with the territory of my profession and having kids... but this particular point in my life has proven especially difficult.

A few weeks ago I dropped my oldest son off at college. Even before he left, my heart felt ripped in two. My world is off its axis. It's no surprise that I've fallen into a functioning depression. I'm not super productive like usual, but passably so. It's been so long since I've been in a depression but I haven't forgotten how it works. I know that no amount of talking it through will help. It's not the time to pick up a new hobby. My body and mind physically reject all of that anyway. It's just a time thing. And I need to keep pushing through my day-to-day stuff and try to stay busy.

So I have been running, although some days I have to forcibly push myself out the front door, only to have some kind of anxiety attack while running, to the point where I have to give up and come home because I can't breathe. I still get out the next day and try it all over again.

Some have suggested I have some gummies or see the doctor for medication. No thanks. I am certain I can get this anxiety under control without supplements. And if I can't, I'm not so stubborn that I won't seek help. I just want to give my body and mind time to sort this out. I have faith in myself.

I went to the library the other day for a pick-me-up. It always amazes me how empty the libraries are. I mean, you can check out books for free. There is so much knowledge and creativity there, so many ideas... is that not intoxicating to you? Anyway, the picture shows part of my latest haul (yeah, only part haha).

Hope everyone has a great weekend.

#me #library #running #depression

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adrielrook · 2 years

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Lil soft KazuScara doodles for comfort💕

(They’ll be in my party and wander together and heal *sobs*)🍁☂️

Update:

I just saw a video on tiktok where after the boss fight with Scara, Kazuha walks up to kuni and tells him: “Scaramouche.. your chest is not empty, it’s full of love” and then he hugs him. And kuni says “One last time.. I will believe you human” and hugs him back. And it’s very hurt comfort and I cry. And this! Is the point!! I still want to specify that Kazuha loves him entirely (In this what if of mine where KazuScara exists), he wants to underline the importance of his feelings and emotions, his love and self. And that the acceptance of those feelings is the bravest thing, because it’s so hard to do! That he’s proud of him and he loves him, he matters and his heart does too. I don’t know if I’m explaining this well but I believe it’s a big thing for Scaramouche to hear. He needs some reassurance, some affection, some friendship, some love, someone who cares. (And don’t misunderstand, I’m happy that he is with Nahida now, she will take care of him and treat him gently “as a feather” as she said). But these are simply some messy sketches I drew during class because I needed some comfort (and it worked :’) I felt better afterwards, Kazuha and Scaramouche are a big comfort ship for me💕) so I’m not sure if from another person’s pov it’s as clear as it is for me. I needed to explain it.

I don’t know if Scaramouche really does not have a heart, we saw in the animation where he tells his past that he “rips it out of his chest” because he’s suffering too mush and doesn’t want to feel that pain. But is it real? Or is it just a figurative way of telling that he didn’t want to feel those emotions? Did he REALLY rip out his own heart? If yes where did he throw it? And why did he need to have one? Was it the gnosis? The game did refer to the electro gnosis as a heart, and Kunikuzushi was supposed to store it. Is the inside of his chest really empty? How does he work😭 Does he need a beating heart to live? (I know he’s immortal but how was he created?) Do archons have a heart even if they’re immortal? They can still die tho. Is Scaramouche even able to die? (I don’t wish it to him but is it possible?) he isn’t built like an Archon, he’s more like Albedo.. Does Albedo have a heart? (Cause he is an artificial person too). Scaramouche was then in search of his heart (the gnosis) cause he wanted it back and be worthy again, he sees himself as not good or worth anything, weak, the reason he was abandoned (in his view). In the leaks about him we saw his idle animations and we saw that he gained an anemo vision, that he placed it where his heart should be. And he admires it and is happy, we can see a small smile on his lips, and when he realizes he’s smiling and we can see it he gets flustered and covers his face with his hat. So.. he does have feelings and emotions (And what about the traveler? Does the traveler have a heart? Surely can feel emotions). Maybe I’m wrong but I tend to connect emotions to the heart. So I can’t properly imagine him not having his. There must be something in his chest that makes him feel what he feels. Even if he says that human emotions are useless and horrible he still considers the heart something important. And he’s very human as well (unlike the puppet of the shogun). Yes he did many thing wrong, but to cit Kazuha’s story quest “this blade has committed unforgivable atrocities, but only because it lost its original master. No one was there to correct its errors when it was losing its way”.. we will see what will happen in the future. To end this speech, I like to think that the fact Kunikuzushi is able to feel emotions is enough proof that he has a heart, deep down, and if he doesn’t physically physiologically, he still has something that acts as one. I don’t know if it beats or not, maybe not because Kuni would be able to feel it beat.. I still… I’d still prefer the option where he has one because.. you know I’d like for Kazuha to be able to hear it, it’d be cute.. ;-; Thank you for your attention💕

#genshin impact #sketch #genshin #genshin scaramouche #genshin kazuha #kazuha kaedehara #kunikuzushi #kazuscara #kazuha x scaramouche #kazuha x kunikuzushi #genshin fanart #genshin wanderer #wanderer #soft kazuscara #comfort kazuscara #scara needs some love and affection #my art <3

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chaosthatsmellsgreen · 7 months

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Netflix's Avatar The Last Airbender thoughts part 2/5)

this is the bit about Kataang. i have so much to say.

Kataang (romance vs friendship): okay i can't restrain myself any longer; here we go. by ep 3 i started noticing how it feels like they're deliberately keeping Katara and Aang away from each other. they barely even have scenes together, they just keep getting separated every episode, and even when they are together it's very short and there is not much chemistry between them. and to be clear, i expected as soon as i originally saw the casting that their romantic relationship won't be explored, at least in this season, and that's completely fine - it'd be pretty weird even, if they leaned into it too much, given how visible the age difference is between the two of them. besides, other than Aang's crush, their romance wasn't really an important point in the first season of the original either, it was basically just the Fortuneteller episode that dealt with the subject. so yes, no romance between them, completely fine. in the original though, book 1 established strong foundations for their friendship, for how and why they see each other as a family, why they love and trust each other, and given a background to how that then later evolves into romantic love. here, so many of their big moments are taken from them or changed.

Kataang (secret tunnels) i can excuse the cave of two lovers changes because it was a nice exploration of Katara's and Sokka's relationship, even if i didn't love most of what else they did with it (the whole thing with the badgermoles was kinda dumb). it was also originally not a S1 moment, so who knows, there's still the option for it to come back later in the show. which i really hope it does because my Kataang heart would be so sad if it doesn't.

Kataang (avatar state): i really disliked Aang being able to control the avatar state on his own by remembering Gyatso, because it was both too early in his own story, and i felt that it ripped the carpet out from underneath one of the most defining moments of Katara and Aang's connection - her being the only one who can help Aang control the avatar state for a loooong time before he learns how to do it on his own. i think it was important that it happened so early in the original show, and while i enjoyed the way they recreated that moment to fit it in the last episode, when it actually happened, it felt... somehow more unearned than in the original where it happened after like an hour of screentime. obviously, the idea here was that we'll have a whole season of them bonding, watch them become true friends, see how much of a family they are to each other, and THEN have this scene where Katara helps Aang control his fear and pain, because they now have this real, built up connection. which is a good take! if that's how it went, i may even like how this change reflects on their relationship

Kataang (lack of affection): however, that's not how it went. these two barely even TALK for most of the season. they have very few scenes together, and 1 (one!) hug - btw there is very little tactile affection between them, no hugs, no reassuring touches on the arm, no nothing. and i know not everyone likes physical affection, but i never got that vibe from the Aang and Katara of the OG show, they hugged, Katara kissed Aang's cheek, i vaguely recall that they held hands and had multiple "hand on your shoulder" moments as well. a huuuuuge offender of this is episode 4, when Katara, Sokka and Aang are reunited. Aang collapses after dropping the boulders, Katara runs to him, asks if he's okay and then just... stands next to him, awkwardly. like... that scene was begging for a hug, or at least a helping hand, or dusting him off. i couldn't feel the relief of the characters to have been reunited, even though it was thematically super important in that moment. there is a lack of love and connection, there is a lack of trust and bonding; i mean Katara bonds more with Jet than Aang, and Aang bonds more with Zuko than he does with Katara. the show even explicitly compares Aang's and Jet's impact on Katara's waterbending, and basically says that her connection with Jet is better for her than her connection with Aang. which, i know there is a part of this fandom that doesn't like kataang that likes to say Aang is no good for Katara, that he's just holding her back, i'm not gonna get into that, all i'll say is that i disagree.

No Kataang? and even if they don't want to do kataang at all (which is a little meh, since i love kataang, i just hope that if they don't do it, they don't give an alternate romantic partner to either of them), i want to see Katara and Aang at least being the close friends that they originally were. i can live with them not falling in love eventually, if that's where the show is going, since my ships are rarely canon anyway, but i want their friendship to mean something to both of them. even if i ignore where this leads in the OG series, it's still lackluster, because the show sure is telling us they're very important to each other, but doesn't do a whole lot to demonstrate it. you hear them saying they're a family, but you don't really feel it, which i think is probably because of all these adventures we got to see in the original that were only mentioned in passing in this one

PART 2/5

START // NEXT // PREVIOUS

#natla #natla spoilers #atla live action #atla live action spoilers #kataang

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kithtaehyung · 1 year

Note

HELLO THAT WAS INCREDIBLE

every time you post something new i’m absolutely blown away by how deeply you seem to understand yoongi. like everything he does in this chapter just seems so in character. the way he ran to her when she couldn’t get a word out because her heart was too heavy I SCREAMED ACTUALLY. i truly feel like yoongi would drop everything for his lover because that’s what really matters above all else. like tae said he was probably having an even harder time and i really admire the strength.

i felt physical dread in my stomach while reading the first half. i really feel like i’m there experiencing it. this chapter sucked me in to the point where i felt like i almost couldn’t hear the world around me. felt like i was going to cry for a good while but made it out without shedding a tear a real feat for me i cry about everything

so many things that had me kicking my feet and as a fic writer myself i’m going to include them bc i know i like it when people give me specific reactions

“It was just nights ago that you cradled all his moonlight in your palms.” YOUR WORDS INCREDIBLE MY HEART ACHING

“Yes my love” RYEN RIP MY HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT IM SURE IT WOULD HURT ME LESS. i know this is a happier moment but the way i vocalized so hard i need some citrón tea

“Don’t fall in love” I KNOW THIS WAS PLAYFUL BUT LIKE FRIEND I THINK ITS TOO LATE JUST SAY THE WORDS

The guitar playing SO YOONGI HE WOULD PLAY YOU TO SLEEP BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT TO HAVE TO SAY BYE

YOONGI RESTING HIS HEAD ON HER CHEST PEAK COUPLES IN DEEP LOVE THAT ARE EXTREMELY COMFORTABLE WITH EACH OTHER

the smut was so delicious and i didn’t expect it to be THAT. it makes so much sense because of the MONTHS of frustration but the way it manifested was just perfect. the changing of positions and begging and her FUCKING SHOES !!!!!! scrumdiddlyumptious ! a full course fucking meal.

ryen you never disappoint and i’m so excited to read the other half of this chapter even if it’s going to leave me crying and damaging my vocal chords.

i’m sorry this is very long i just enjoyed it so much. anyways thank you and now i’m going to make theories with my bestie🫶🏻💜

AHHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH OMFGGG! i love your commentary let me bring this to under a cut so we can converse >:D

oh. my god. i'm blushing so hard?? not even two sentences in and i'm already hiding in my hoodie LOL you are way too kind. he really said "where are you" like that was his first reaction? the way my heart beat so damn loud😭 this man got serious quick. thank you for saying that about him.. i truly do love 3tan yoongi with all my heart and wanna protect him at all costs.

whoa. that is some huge praise! it's so interesting to hear too bc when i'm working on it, sometimes i just get lost during the writing process that time goes by and i don't really remember what i wrote. so when i go back to read, it's kind of a surprise! the dialogue itself sometimes gets me immersed enough like i'm actually in it, and i'm just writing what they're all saying?? super intriguing.

so many things that had me kicking my feet and as a fic writer myself i’m going to include them bc i know i like it when people give me specific reactions

YOURE SO REAL FOR THIS THANK YOU T^T “It was just nights ago that you cradled all his moonlight in your palms.” YOUR WORDS INCREDIBLE MY HEART ACHING

i am blushing again!!

“Yes my love” RYEN RIP MY HEART OUT AND STOMP ON IT IM SURE IT WOULD HURT ME LESS. i know this is a happier moment but the way i vocalized so hard i need some citrón tea

umm no lie you made me want citron tea so much that i had it the same night you sent this LOLL. it helped a lot because my brain was so fried from posting, so thank you for that😂 BUT ALSO THIS LINE YEAH....

“Don’t fall in love” I KNOW THIS WAS PLAYFUL BUT LIKE FRIEND I THINK ITS TOO LATE JUST SAY THE WORDS

LMFAOOOO STOP IT

The guitar playing SO YOONGI HE WOULD PLAY YOU TO SLEEP BECAUSE HE DOESNT WANT TO HAVE TO SAY BYE

i really did think of him during this moment and ugh.. to be able to listen to something like that would be so.. yeah.

YOONGI RESTING HIS HEAD ON HER CHEST PEAK COUPLES IN DEEP LOVE THAT ARE EXTREMELY COMFORTABLE WITH EACH OTHER

STOP IT x1000 IM GONNA FLIP THIS DESK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh gosh.. this makes me so happy bc like,, i think smut is still my weakest point lol. like i really need to get better at it! but this was so intense because of the buildup and i know i needed it to be Extra Spicy, you know? THE HEEEEEEEEELS FCK.

ryen you never disappoint and i’m so excited to read the other half of this chapter even if it’s going to leave me crying and damaging my vocal chords. i’m sorry this is very long i just enjoyed it so much. anyways thank you and now i’m going to make theories with my bestie🫶🏻💜

WAIT I WANNA HEAR THE THEORIES ARE YALL GONNA GATEKEEP OR- lmfao i love yall! thank you so so much for reading and for the kind as hell words. you have know idea how happy you made me feel!

#argh thank you so damn much!#daegudrama #asks:3tan #3tan10 #lovely people #*ryenfictalk #mailbox💌#3tan spoilers #long post

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pop-punklouis · 2 years

Note

my thoughts about alice in borderland, the "games" is like a limbo, a place in between life and death. they have this 'visa' whenever they play and i think that those who d.ied or commited s.uicide inside the game are the people who literally died in the real world when the meteor hit the city. those who survived happened to live irl, surviving the meteor.

also, we were given three different explanation when arisu asked the queen of hearts and tbh, i like the first explanation first where she said that they're playing virtually in the future. i think it's more believable, as well as the second where she said that she's his psychiatrist bc his friends really died irl bc of car accident and arisu can't bear the guilt so he made up a scenario, and he happened to include usagi, too.

it was a roller coaster ride, and i was kinda (🤡) when i found out that the others were alive, too? like they were literally shot and stabbed inside the game? but i'm not compalining, haha.

so excited about the joker, too! what's your thoughts about it? sorry for rambling, english is not my main language and i hope you understand and share your thoughts, too!

have a nice day, hopeee! 💘

hi babe! thank you for talking to me about this!! (and to everyone who is rambling with me in my dms)

but i tend to agree. i like how the “country” could branch off into mental health range or being part of a collective limbo for those who survived. but i do wish it was more science fiction/futuristic dystopian explanation wise. the meteor felt like a cop out when laid out next to the other explanations the queen of hearts gave (which that entire episode could’ve been thirty minutes shorter it went on for TOO long rip). like what was the point of the advantageous, progressive plant species that ann ended up discovering was true?? i also have so many questions about the child who showed up in S2? we never see any other children in the entire game, and i know more than that child survived. so i would’ve liked to have seen more explanation and even discussion from the characters about that. there are many aspects of the narrative that seem to have holes in it or weren’t fleshed out enough for me to be satisfied with the ending explanation for the world 🧍🏼‍♀�� but with it being a manga/anime i cant criticize it too much. it’s one of the best adaptations i’ve seen of a manga/anime to live action.

i would’ve loved the explanation to lean more science fiction like the virtual reality ending that you said! or even the rich betting on these AI cyborgs that believe they’re actually human. the mental health one was fascinating and fit the story, but it also felt like a cop out that it was all happening in his mind yk? the other two felt so much cooler and like it existed within the same confines of the world that was built for the games.

although episode 7 is what GOT ending wishes it was, i was also screaming at like. aguni being shot in the head by the king of spades (who would never miss djdkdkdk) yet it only grazing his head, or akane being shot with a machine gun up her middle and still being able to crawl all the way out of the alley to be with aguni to cuddle or even the pipe bomb exploding and both aguni and arisu getting up after djdkdkd it was very manga in that regard which is fun but when translated to real life it was absurd 💀💀 i wish we got more depth to the characters in the end instead of blips of like chisiyah or kuina. and we didn’t get much of chisiyah’s background besides him being a doctor with the most anime look i’ve ever seen which was unfortunately so hot 😪 wish we got to see more of that.

BUT! i think my main complaint is that i wish the games this season were more psychological and strategic like last season. a lot of them were more physical this time. wish we got more games like the two chisiyah went through. those were the most engaging ones for me to watch yk 👁

and yeah the joker was an interesting ending. i like how it left it open to interpretation of that being a mass hallucination and not the true ending. like we, as well as the characters, were all tricked to believe it was over. OR it could mean that we were tricked into believing it was more than it was. which would be a tongue-in-cheek way to end it lmao but also i don’t think there’s going to be another season so it’s just what each person takes away from it which is cool in its own way!

hope you have a nice day too bb ✨👐🏼

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dre6ming · 2 years

Text

I posted 576 times in 2022

That's 535 more posts than 2021!

128 posts created (22%)

448 posts reblogged (78%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@blurredcolour

@burninlovebutler

@bcofl0ve

@blainesebastian

@elvisabutler

I tagged 162 of my posts in 2022

#austin butler - 79 posts

#austin butler x reader - 71 posts

#baz luhrmann elvis - 66 posts

#elvis fans - 65 posts

#elvis songs - 62 posts

#austin butler smut - 62 posts

#austin butler elvis - 61 posts

#elvis film - 61 posts

#elvis biopic - 60 posts

#austin butler fic - 59 posts

Longest Tag: 59 characters

#i don’t think i’d get on my knees for many people out there

My Top Posts in 2022:

Masterlist

Fluff ☾

Angst ♞

Smut ✡︎

Click here to be added to the tag list

Austin Butler/Elvis Presley

See the full post

211 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

Our very last kiss

Masterlist

To be added to the tag list click here

Part II - I’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight

Pairing: Austin Butler x fem reader

Warnings: smut 18+, unclear consent, depression, anxiety, cursing, medication use, crying….oh I hope that’s it~let me know if I missed something

Plot: you’re a 21 year old actress and you get casted to play Priscilla in the new Elvis biopic. You fall for Austin, but it ends up that he only thought you were going method with him, so when filming ends so does your relationship. For him at least.

Word count: 4400

Disclaimer: this story was inspired but Taylor Swift’s song “Wildest dreams” I’m not making any assumptions about anything. Also I wrote an Austin that is far from who I hope he is in real life.

Pain. You've felt it before. You and pain have sat down and chatted like old friends many times. But at some point pain would get bored, get up and leave, so that the healing could begin and you would get to meet up with other feelings again. This time though? Well this time pain was stubborn, it doesn't seem to want to ever leave. It has brought with it some new tools as well, little gimmicks to use on you body, so that everyone could know you were dining with pain. Everyone but that one person. That one mass of flesh, blood and bones. How could he not see? You used to scream that question at the sky, you used to pray for an answer but it never came.

You knew from the beginning it was wrong, but you couldn't help yourself. And you tried, you'll give yourself that much credit, but somewhere along the way you stopped restraining yourself. Now you eat mouthfuls of the dish you prepared.

You close your eyes trying to push back the tears from your eyes. You don't know how it's possible to cry anymore, how you still physically have any power to do that. You want to physically rip your heart out and start slicing it with a blunt kitchen knife, but that's not possible. Instead you open your eyes again, look pain dead in those black eyes and speak.

"Let me tell you the story of how I got here. How I was stupid to believe. Stupid to let myself go. Stupid to love. Stupid, stupid, stupid, so FUCKING stupid"

It started so simple and cliché, because it started with him smiling at you.

It's your first day of filming and to say you're nervous and scared would be understatement. This is your first big thing. Playing Priscilla Presley is a scary, exiting and overwhelming task. You worry that your very little experience and young age might be an obstacle in doing justice to the amazing person she is. You are only 21 and you've acted in some other small projects, but never something this big and highly anticipated. You are mortified at the thought of stepping foot on that set and making a fool of yourself. "Ok we're done!" The make up artist says putting her brushes away.

You get up from the makeup chair, wiping your sweaty palms on your dress. The first scene you'll film is the one where Elvis and Priscilla are in his room in Germany listening to music while she babbles on about her parents.

You try calm your heart as you walk, but nothing helps, it feels like your chest might explode with the pressure inside it. Biting your nails, you read over the script, making sure to have it tattooed in your brain. "Hi, nice to see you again!" A hand comes in sight, starched out for you to shake. You take it and pray that your palm is just slightly sweaty and not uncomfortably drenched with nerves. "Hi" it's Austin standing In from of you, dressed in military uniform, hair sleeked back and smile as bright as the last time you saw him, at the last table read you attended. That was over a few weeks ago.

"Are you ready for the scene?" The question catches you off guard. Is he asking that so make conversation or to make sure you don't screw up? It must be the later. "Yeah, of course." You try to hide the tremble in your voice by laughing a bit, but that only comes out as a strangled sound. You blush terribly and look away. "Hey, it's going to be fine, alright?" He crooks his head to the side to look you in the eyes. You can see how honest he is.

You nod and go to move some hair behind your ear, but quickly slam the hand back on your lap, you can't ruin your hair. "Okay" Austin lets go of your hand, placing both his hand in the pockets of his pants, smiling at you. You didn't miss the way his eyes looked you over from head to toe. "Alright people, Austin on your mark, on the floor. (Y/n) you begin at the window, come on now. Let's move!" Baz says. Shaking your head and making yourself shift into character, you take your position and start the scene.

Several takes over the next 3 to 4 hours are necessary to complete the scene. You were the one always messing up. 'Too stiff' that called you. By the time the take number 105 and the 3rd hour rolled around you could see that the nice attitude Austin presented himself with, had dissolved into one of annoyance. He was nice enough to not say anything, but his body language spoke volumes. The constant eye rolls, sighs, huffs and scowls, told you how over the whole situation he was.

See the full post

251 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

I thought you quit

“I stayed there” series -part I

Pairing: Austin Butler x Fem Reader

Warning: smoking, swearing, pda, fluff

Plot: Austin gets back on a bad habit due to his stress caused by the Elvis auditioning. You try to explain to him that he needs to relax and take care of himself. Soon you’re crying and your heart is shattered

Masterlist here all parts are here

Part 2 here

To be added to the tag list click here

Word count: 1700

The cool autumn breeze glides through your tied up hair, making the loose strands brush you face. You sit on the bench in the empty park, legs over your boyfriends and kindle in hand. You enjoy times like this, when it's quiet and you get to just be with him, it's rare and it's oh so sweet. As you read lost in your book, Austin speaks, but you don't look at him too absorbed into the paragraph in front of your eyes. "So what do you want to do tonight?" He ask. You shrug your shoulders, not really carrying about it, as long as tonight is spent together you'll have a good time regardless of what you were doing. "I don't know, maybe open some wine, watch some tv..." you say absentmindedly while rubbing your hands together to get them warmer.

You lift your eyes up when you feel Austin move and you notice him pulling out a cigarette and placing it in between his lips. Before he gets a chance to light it, you snatch the lighter from his hand and hide it behind your back. "I thought you quit" you say giggling at his dumbfounded expression. "I did!" He argues back cigarette still between his lips. "Aha sure baby, you did!" You bite back as he leans over you trying to take the lighter from the hand that hides behind you back. "Come on now baby, it just one!" He whines, frustrated at not being able to reach your hand. Now both his arms hug you and you have to take a deep breath to keep yourself grounded. Blue eyes staring into your (e/c) ones, lips plump and read from the cold keeping the cigarette to the corner of his mouth. Your right hand reaches up and take the cigarette out of his mouth. "(Y/n)!" Austin pouts in a warning tone at you. "Kiss me and maybe I'll give it back."

He smiles, licks his lips and leans in, soft, warm lips touching yours. His hands grab your waist and you shiver at the feeling of his big palms splayed on your back. He licks you bottom lip and with a pleasured sigh you open up for him. He tastes like coffee and burned sugar, the taste of him fogging your brain. Your right hand holding the cigarette, quickly drops it on your lap and your left hand holding the lighter places it on the bench. Now both of your hands are free to tangle in his black hair. He'd dyed it a week ago when he started sending in audition tapes to Baz , for the role of Elvis Presley . Tapes for which he started to prepare three weeks ago.. You liked it, but you love his caramel colored hair a lot more, but he insisted he had to dye his hair for the auditioning process, so he could feel more in character. He was livid about the role, he wanted it so bad he barely slept trying to study Elvis as much as he could. He was constantly watching Elvis movies, clips , listening to his songs, talking in his voice. It was nice to see his dedication, but it started to turn into an obsession. It's why he probably started smoking again to get himself to calm down and unwind.

Your tummy flutters as you scratch his scalp with your nails, deepening the kiss. He moans in your mouth and before you get to carried away, he pulls back placing the cigarette back in between his lips and lighting it with the lighter he stole from behind you, while you were busy getting lost in him. Victory can be read on his face as he puffs the cigarette and lets the smoke out through his mouth and nose. "I'm sorry baby, I promise it's just this one. I swear." He places one hand on his heart, bringing the cigarette back for another smoke. "Sure" you say folding your arms over your chest. Slowly you get you feet down from his lap, tuck some of your hair behind your ears, grab your kindle, put it you back and get up, walking away.

Austin is quick to follow you, but you only walk faster. To no avail since he's got long legs and you don't wanna cause a scene running away from him. "(Y/n), wait, baby!" He grabs your elbow and stops you in your tracks. You spin to look at him, but when you see that he still has the cigarette in his mouth, you look away. "I want to go home." Looking at the ground you play with your feet, not liking the way he hovers over you, his height an advantage over you. "Just cause I wanted to smoke one fucking cigarette?" Austin brushes a hand through his hair and looks exasperated at you.

It's not the cigarette, sure you care for his health and you want him to quit for his own good, but it's not what got you so bothered. "It's not the cigarette.." you say in a low voice barley above a whisper. "Then what is it?" He asks inpatient to know. You chew the inside of your cheek and he turns away from you, throwing his hands in the air, annoyed with your attitude. "No, cause it's been weeks now that you've acted like this, I do something or say something and you shut me out, punishing me for something. What is it!?" his voice gets louder and tears gather in you eyes, but you blink them back. You know what it is, you just don't want to say it and be a jerk.

"Say it, god damn it!" He pushed and that's it for your tears to start running down your face. His face softens, he goes to the near by garbage bin and puts out his cigarette. Austin comes back to you and hugs you. You keep your arms folded over you chest and rest your head on his chest. He lets out a shallow breath, running a hand up and down you back soothingly. "What's wrong baby? Talk to me!" He's now begging, your heart breaks for him and you close your eyes. "I-, you just.." you stumble over your words.

"I what?" He's not angry or annoyed now, just scared of what you'll say. "You just, you aren't you anymore..." your voice is so quiet, that for a second he thinks he heard it in his head and you hadn't actually spoken to him. "What?" He can't believe what you just said, how is it that he's not himself anymore. "You're losing yourself in this role and you're just in the process of auditioning for it. What happens if you get? Hm? Am I supposed to start liking to date a replica of Elvis Presley?" You exit his embrace and take a few steps back. He's stuck, frozen in place, he expected anything but this.

"That's not fair, you know how important it is for me!" He looks like he's the one about to cry now. "You don't get it, how could you? All you do all day is sit with your head buried in those stupid books and complain about how hard med school is. Just fucking drop out already!" The steps you take back cause you to stumble on a rock and fall on your ass in the wet grass. You're mute, you can't say a single thing. He blows out more air out of his mouth and doesn't bother to try lift you up. You hug your knees to your chest and cry softly. Then you feel his hand on you knee and you flinch away from his touch. "(Y/n), baby..." you wipe your face and slowly get up.

"You don't sleep anymore and when you do you have nightmares. You don't eat, just sit all day, every day for the past 3 weeks and watch him, listen to him, talk like him, you're killing your self for it" he looks away and listens to you, every word being another slap to his face, because every word is true. "Well it's my job, (Y/n), what do you want me to do about it?" You come close to him and take his head in your hands forcing him to look at you. It breaks him to see the tears that don't seam to stop running down your face, knowing he made them come out in the first place. "Your not listening to me, I just want you to relax a bit, you can't see what a tool this auditioning process took on you, but I can" he lost weight and his hands shook with anxiety almost all the time, dark circles paint his eyes, that are now bloodshot read holding back tears. Austin shakes his head and takes your hands away from his face. You shake your head closing your eyes, ready for his next sharp words.

His nose brushes against yours, you feel his soft lips on yours and this time he tastes like cigarettes and salt. You don't kiss him back and he notices right away, so Austin pulls back. "I think we should break up!" He says. Your heart feels like it was hit by a wrecking ball and you can't breathe. Your vision starts to blur. Heart beating in your ears, you get away from him. "Ok" it's all you say as you walk. You drove here in his car, your apartment is an hour away from where you are now, but he doesn't offer to drive you and you won't ask him.

By the time you get to your home, the tears have dried, but the heartache stayed. You unlock your door and get in. For the next hour as you get yourself ready for bed, you feel drunk on the pain. He was you first boyfriend and he had promised to respect you, what he said, what he did, was anything but respect. Grabbing you phone, you unlock it and shoot him one last message, before blocking the number.

"See you on the big screen, Elvis. Hope it was worth it!"

258 notes - Posted September 4, 2022

Stage fright

The fright series ~part I

Part II - ‘bed fright’ here

Pairing: Austin Butler!Elvis x fem reader

Warnings: cursing, smut, oral(f receiving) fingering, semi public sex, ( that’s all I hope)

Plot: Elvis met you working on his ‘68 comeback show, he feel for you instantly, at a celebratory party for the special he makes a move and you 2 become a thing. Later he shows you the Vegas stage and gives you and unforgettable orgasm to help ease his nerves

Word count:3392 I couldn’t stop 😭😭

Author’s note: this is the second time I write this, the first time around the app crashed and it didn’t save so I had to write it again. Also English is not my first language so I apologize for mistakes, please be kind. Request are open. Enjoy!!

To be added to the tag list click here

It was a strange thing to think about, the big Elvis Presley having stage fright? But he was in fact afraid of the stage, every time he got up there he felt his heart in his stomach and his thoughts traveled faster than he could keep up. His fast skyrocketing career didn't ease that fright. He loved to sing, but if he could just plant his voice on stage while he sat back and watched he would’ve been so happy. His fans didn’t know all this though, and they ate him up every time he got up there. They screamed, cried, danced, shook, all to the sound of his voice, his music, his art.

He often doubted himself and he believed it was all a dream, one from which he would wake up soon to find he was still that scrawny poor boy, form Tupelo Mississippi. He blamed all his success on luck, that thing he was sure of. He was lucky, but now it seamed to him like his luck had run out. In his mind at least.

Since ‘56 when all this crazy dream of his started, till now he had everything, everything but one thing, love. Seeing as the only woman he ever loved was his mom, who tragically died, she left him so heartbroken, he never wanted to feel that way again, so he didn’t. He indulged himself lovers to keep for a night or maybe a few nights, but it was always just raw pleasure, never love.

That was until a few months ago, when he met her, while working for the '68 comeback special, she was Steve Binder's assistant. He liked her instantly, there was just something about her, that made her stand out, even in a room full of glammed up dancers. She always carried a small notebook with her, she either had it in the pocket of her pants or in the waist line of her skirt. The gold pen she wore behind her ear, the one she used to write down in her notebook was the only piece of jewelry she wore. Her stature was that of a 5.6 feet girl who despite her height always wore flats, never heels, that intrigued him.

There were in fact many things about her, that intrigued him, her hair was another one of them. Her (h/c) hair was always neatly styled, she either wore it braided, in a ponytail or in a ballerina bun, he dreamed of seeing her hair cascade over her back. It also looked like it would be very soft, since she never seamed to put products in it. He also liked how shy she was, while also proving to be the smartest person in the room when so opens her mouth to speak, which was rare, in his presence at least.

Her voice sounded like warm honey, he remembers the first time he heard it. “It’s a pleasure to meet you mr Presley” she said as she lifted a shaky arm for him to shake, something not necessarily lady like, since men were supposed to kiss a woman’s hand, not shake it. He shook it nonetheless and he discovered her hand was warm, soft and sweaty with emotions probably. “Pleasure’s all mine darlin’”. That was the only interaction the two of them had for 2 weeks while he worked on the special, in those two weeks his time was split between singing on stage and dancing and when that was over he’d dream about her.

He often wondered if he would get a chance to talk to her, but the timing never seamed right. She was always running out and about, getting everything done for Steve and never in his presence. So he just kept hoping until the last day, but even as they filmed the last shot and shared drinks, she wasn't there. He wondered where she was, but didn't ask.

The next time he got to see her, was at the celebratory party on the 4th of December. Steve rented a bar for the whole staff, everyone was there, even people he'd never seen before, but his eyes searched the room for her. And then he found her. Sat in a dark corner, a true wallflower, she wore a beautiful green dress with a square neckline that showed enough cleavage to drive him crazy. That dress should've been illegal, it hugged all the right places, she was beautiful, well made, with enough meat on her bones to make him wish he could squeeze her every bit in his hands.

Her hair was the next thing that caught his eye, she had braided half of it and the rest hung loose in her back, he blinked and imagined what treading his long fingers through it felt like. She also didn't have her gold pen set behind her ear, instead she had beautiful gold, stud earrings, a pair to the gold bead that hung around her neck.

His feet carried him to her before he even realized he was walking. He sat next to her and gave her one of his most sincere side smiles. She looked at him and blushed looking down, he could see the blush creep up on her face, because she never wore makeup or if she did it was always in small quantities and to enhance the beauty she already had. "Evening ma'am, would you like a drink?" He asked as he motioned the bartender to come get their order. "Evening, sir, just a water, please." He ordered himself a gin tonic. While they waited he looked her up and down, god she was everything. "No need to call me sir, ma'am, just Elvis is fine by me" she blushed again and then started to play with a tissue in her hand. "Well in that case you should call me (y/n), ma'am makes me feel old." He smiled at what she said and had to bite down on his tongue not to ask her how old she was, cause she looked young.

Elvis wanted to talk more but didn't really know what to say, so they just sat there in silence. Until after drinking some of her water she surprised him. "What's your favorite season of the year?" She asked looking at him with big, curious eyes. He took a sip of his drink that had unfortunately gone warm in his hand and was no longer appetizing. He asked the bartender for a Coca-Cola, his favorite and the proceeded to answer. "Well I think summer, days are so much longer so me and the boys get to spend as much time are we want outside and because the night is also a lot more lively we get to carry some of the fun even after sunset" she listened to him very closely, he liked that, when people listened to him, really listened. "What about you darlin'?"

The way the pet name rolled on his tongue made her shiver like a cold gush of wind just passed her, but there was no wind, just him. She looked up at the ceiling like she was searching for the answer and then looked right back at him as she spoke "Winter, I like the cold, being curled up with a book by the fireplace, hot coffee in my hand. The snow, especially the snow, I miss it, we don't get it here in LA" she said it like she used to live somewhere else,he picked up on that so it was only natural that he ask. "You ain't from LA? Where're from, darlin'?" She drank some water and started playing with her necklace. "I'm from Chicago, I moved here for school." School? He was right she was smart. "What do you study at school?" She looked down at her feet. "Economics" he was once again impressed by her, she studied a field in which he thought mostly men get tangled. "And how did Steve manage to get someone so smart work for him?" He asked giggling. "It was a summer job and it paid well, I guess I did good so he told me to stick around."

She kept looking at her feet and silence fell between them once again. He couldn't help himself when his hand moved and with a long finger set under her chin he forced her to look et him. Her (e/c) eyes were so deep he could stare at them for the rest of his life. As they dragged unconsciously closer to each other, she pulled back, almost fell to the floor. Got up and left, he stayed frozen in place and the got up to go after her.

Elvis found (y/c) out in the dark alone, she was playing around with a pebble, pushing it around with the tip of her flats, again she chose not to wear heels. “Did I do something wrong?” He asked and startled her. (Y/c) looked up at him, even in the dark he could catch the glimmer in her eye. “I’m not what you’re looking for, sir.” She answered simply and kept looking down.

He took a few steps but kept the distance between them, he didn’t want her to feel more uncomfortable. He wanted to ask what she thought he was looking for, but he knew the answer, she thought he probably wanted a quick fuck, or an affair to last a few days. He did want to fuck her, but he wanted to fuck only her from now on, he couldn’t really explain it, but he felt it strongly.

He got closer, at the sound him moving she had lifted her head up and was now looking at him. “You’re beautiful!” He said before he was able to catch himself. (Y/c) laughed dry and looked away. “There’s a bar full a girls far more beautiful than I am” he shook his head, but she could see. “That ain’t right, they are beautiful in their way, but are beautiful in a way that I like, I only saw you in there.”

She quickly whipped her head around “Why me?” He didn’t have an answer for that, and while he was lost in his mind he absentmindedly tucked away a pice of hair, almost moaning out loud at the feeling of her hair in his fingers. She moved her hand to grab his wrist, he thought she wanted him to move the hand away, but before he could do it, she kept it in place and sank her face. She had such a small face compared to his hands.

He got his other hand up and now he was holding her head in his hands. She opened her eyes and looked at him, the silence that sat between them was calming. The both closed their eyes and began getting closer. When she felt his breath on her lips she spoke again. "I've never been kissed before" he understood what she was saying, she was giving him a first and it was clear she wanted loyalty. She wanted to kiss him badly, she wanted to give him, her first kiss as well as her every other one. "It's only you, you and me."

The truthfulnesses of his words made her stand on her tip toes and their lips touched. Butterflies filled he stomach and she felt like they took her flying in the sky, she felt light. He moved his hands to her waist and she hugged his neck. The kiss was slow, Elvis had never been kissed like this and he for sure never kissed anyone like this before. When the broke apart to breathe their foreheads stayed together and they both broke into laughter.

Second person pov

Now months later here you are, together in Vegas, where you followed him, after the colonel convinced him the best way to get the money for the world tour, was to sing in the new international hotel for 6 weeks. You learned to hate the colonel and advised Elvis against visiting him in the hospital a few weeks ago. He however cared too much about the old man and trusted him, but he was just a showman that bleed Elvis of every penny.

See the full post

379 notes - Posted September 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

She gave what now?👀 I- y’all needed to see this, because man, I’m shaking :)) I need more of this Elvis, god 👁️👅👁️ I’m a wh0re :/

Btw I don’t know who to credit for this masterpiece:)

417 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #false

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from-dre · 5 days

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Many Million Dreams Ago • Ch. 4 of 10

The weather outside had changed like clockwork—, summer to fall to winter and then? It seemed like it got stuck somehow. The cold had completely frozen the bedroom window shut, it had stalled my car’s engine to where it wouldn’t turn over anymore—, it quickly become one of the eeriest seasons of my life. The only place where I’d found any warmth whatsoever was in my girlfriend's arms. There was only one problem; we didn’t know how to get any closer. Physically, we’d gone as far as we could go. Emotionally, we were completely tied up in the other. Only our mental state had any free space left to give away.

I’d moved to a different city—, we were now farther away from one another. Less time to be together, less time to share and experience new things, less time, less time. We’d become desperate for reasons to stay inside. I didn’t want to leave anymore. Home wasn’t fifty-some miles away, it was wherever she was. We’d become desperate for reasons to keep grasp of the other. She didn’t want to leave anymore. No friends, no work, nothing that seemed like it was from the outside world. We’d become really, really desperate. Desperation turned to anger, anger turned to hatred, hatred personified itself in the form of something too sharp for words. Something too vengeful, too heavy for mere emotions to make sense of. We held onto the handles of ominous instruments and used them to sculpt a darker reality than the one we’d been running from.

“Baby!—,” she’d exclaim upon waking up. What happened here last night? Unsettling thoughts ran through our minds. All we could do is guess at the unfortunate scenarios which may have played out. Furniture moved around. Couch cushions turned upside down. Thermostat all the way up. We’d blacked out and remembered nothing. Only the stains remained—, measuring our madness like height-marks on a wall. We traded in long-term happiness for some temporary relief at the hands of tiny, pointed teeth. Regretful us. How short-sighted can young love really be? We were on a collision course in trying to find out. Two lost ships with no lighthouse in sight. Dense fog. Broken compasses. We never stood a chance at making it out intact. Every inch ripped apart—, another scar on our hearts. Pound for pound, we weighed and made sure to repay in kind. We became unrecognizable; cutlery rivals. That which we loved, we came to resemble.

“What’s happening with you two?,” friends would eventually ask. They’d noticed we’d become more withdrawn, less excited about the things which had made us so happy before. There was always a catastrophe to complain about. It was our new routine and we’d found some type of comfort in it. A quiet humming sound constantly played in the backs of our heads, like we knew something was wrong, but something we couldn’t shut off either. It pulled us out of everyday moments and affected our presence in regular situations. This went on—, day after day, week after week, month after month. Things played out tragically; broken promises, broken spirits, everything around us was breaking apart. Slowly, the seasons began changing again, but not our negative energies—, we’d gotten too used to them. Now, they became ingrained in our thinking, in our voices, and in our love itself.

Summer came around once more so we headed back to a land of lovely memories we’d made just a year prior. Back to Florida, back to the Gulf Coast, and back to a type of temporary lifestyle that’d suited us so well beforehand—, but strangely, felt disconnected from this time around.

“What’s different?,” I asked myself aloud.

“Everything—,” I heard her voice whisper back throughout the once-sunny horizons of my mind. There were no more exciting drives throughout the city, no more people-watching, and no more dreaming about future lives lived out together. I wanted what we’d had before so badly—, I wanted our old memories and moments which had made the previous summer the best one of my life. Now, it all seemed to be a distant dream to which I’d never be able to return. The car rides were quieter, the waves crashing onto the coast were calmer, everything was empty of any excitement or joy. At night we’d lay awake in bed, look up at the ceiling, and wonder if we’d made a good decision to come back here.

The morning coffee started tasting different—, even in a beautiful city like the one we were visiting, the depths of our regret from home followed us. We’d sit and sip and stare at the floor, very rarely bringing our eyes back up. We felt so many emotions at once and directed them straight toward one another. Somewhere deep within our dark roasts—, we could barely make out the shapeless waves of an uncertain future together and it made each passing day feel more hopeless and gloomier than the one before.

We were nearing the end of our trip and an hour before we’d be heading back to the airport, she tried one final time at making a lasting memory.

“Do you want to collect some sand from the beach with me?,” she sweetly asked from the armchair. I just slowly shook my head and looked back down at the floor in disappointment. So much for trying to rekindle a nearly-forgotten feeling. I’d go on to regret the decision for a long time afterwards.

Back home for another autumn. This one brought about a newly discovered rush with it. I’d made all the wrong types of friends in my new neighborhood and they had the party essentials one in my situation of desperation needed to take in order to fully enjoy life again. I bought a bag’s worth and waited until I saw my girlfriend again to dive in. I chopped up the piece and laid out a long line across a plastic case, gently handing it to her along with a rolled-up twenty-dollar bill. She readied herself, bent down towards her lap, and drew in every last flake with complete poise and perfection. I would’ve married her right there on the spot. She was everything a person looks for in their toxic-twin; courage, composure, and the sexiest bloodshot eyes. We were re-sparking a fire that’d almost completely gone out. We were discovering something new together again—, like we had with drinking, smoking, and the rest of our rituals. This time though, the stakes were raised.

We divvied up white lines on each other’s stomachs and took turns inhaling the freshly fallen snow off our bodies. The room whirled around us—, we were alone in a sea of subjective spinning brought on by outside substances. Nothing to keep us tied down to this world—, we flew high above it all. High—, and above it all. Beyond clouds, beyond time and space. We’d found another realm where we watched ourselves slow-dance to a far-off symphony while going through all the phases of life. Together and separated only by our imaginations. Eventually, they too would combine into a singular vision; objective rapture. Never wake up. We almost never did. Earth came calling and we had to answer back, opening our eyes once more. The room stood still. Only our elevated heartbeats kept rhythm with what we’d just witnessed. It was useless to try and ask her if she’d seen the same things I had. I knew, somewhere deep inside herself—, she’d dreamed of them before ever meeting me in the first place. They were just amplified now; feelings, fantasies, an on- going reverie that wouldn’t let up. How could we go back to normal after something like that? We couldn’t. So we didn’t.

Though the fun lasted a short while—, it wasn’t enough to truly keep us going for long. We swam with the current as far as possible before our arms started to give out. Driving back home to her apartment one day, we had the radio unusually turned off. There’d been something on my mind for a while and I couldn’t keep the question to myself for a minute longer.

“Do you feel like we’re drifting apart?,” I sincerely asked. She instantly answered back.

“I really do.” That was all she had to say. Even with new toxins and exciting experiences, we couldn’t escape the let down of our second summer. We tried our hardest to remain hopeful about the future, but things seemed to pull us in separate directions now more than ever.

We hadn’t seen each other for quite a while. She started school again, I picked up another job, things naturally cooled down after our last car ride together. I was finishing up my shift at work one night when my mom walked in to surprise me.

“Hurry up and clock out, I’ve got something to show you,” she excitedly said. We walked into a glitzy restaurant right across the street and headed downstairs. I reached the bottom floor and stood for a second, unable to react as there sat my girlfriend in a glittering red dress. She slowly turned to face us and gave me her signature look.

“Hey—.” That was all she had to say. I’d fallen for her again in a matter of moments.

“I’ve missed you,” I admitted to her later on at home.

“Me too,” she replied. We moved from the bed to the floor and back again. It was as I’d remembered—, an unequalled emotion. Something absolute and complete. We were making up with each other, making up for lost time, and making more memories than either of us had in the previous few months. We left the white linen sheets and still had the energy to smoke a couple of cloves on the roof outside my bedroom window while quietly wondering where everything was leading to this time around.

Winter rolled around once more. It seemed colder than the last one—, which was near- impossible. I’d been over her place for a few hours when we started downing shots—, one after another in quick succession. The room spun, the kissing started—, everything was going according to our usual plan. Finally, she fell asleep and I didn’t wait long to do the same myself. The next morning, I could already feel the consequences of what’d happened even before I had the chance to open my eyes. We woke up in a haze—, not knowing the exact sequence of events or what order they’d fallen into, but we felt the weight of regret hanging heavily in the atmosphere. Something vile about the way reality came crashing back down on the both of us kept her and I quiet for a long while. She eventually broke the intense silence.

“Look at yourself,” she got out, raising her gaze up from the floor. She stared at me with the saddest eyes I’d ever seen as I noticed the smears I still wore.

“They’re just arms,” I naively said. She quickly covered her face with both hands.

“Those used to be my arms!,” she cried out from the bed. I had nothing to say—, no words could properly describe the amount of desperation I felt. I turned to walk away, leaving the room with an air of awful energy attached to it. I slowly made my way down the stairs and out through the front door, got into my car and forever drove away. So it went that it’d be one of the last times we’d ever see each other.

I needed to vent—, to lash out at something, anything. I had so much pent up within me that I didn’t know who to turn to. Everything was my fault—, I’d felt the emotion radiating from her spirit without her having to say a word. Without having ever fallen in love with me, maybe she’d be so much farther along—, with dreams, with relationships, with life itself. It seemed that I’d kept her in place for much of the last few months. The same arguments constantly led back to the same conclusions; maybe it just wasn’t meant to be after all.

We didn’t speak for a long time afterwards. We just watched the clocks change seconds and minutes and hours but nothing else around us ever improved. We were without the other and while it gave us some breathing room, it also forced us to remember how everything felt before falling into our first kiss together. It all seemed like it’d happened so long ago—, in a different lifetime altogether. Finally, she called up one night to see how I was holding up and of course, it didn’t take long for the attacks to begin.

“Are you using needles yet?,” she said in a soft tone. I cringed at the thought of her actually asking me such a question.

“No,” I answered back, a little annoyed. How was it possible that we’d drifted so far apart? Wasn’t this the same girl who’d always kept me in line, calculating my grades everyday for an entire semester of English class to help me pass? Now—, she was asking if I’d been injecting myself with drugs. Of course the flow of firewater never let up and the pills seemed to be in full supply ever since I’d moved, but her imagination was definitely getting out of hand.

“I don’t think we should speak to each other for a while,” was her suggestion. I appealed with pure emotion.

“So we can’t even be friends?”

“I don’t want to have a friend like you,” she said, tearing my heart in two. That was that. We hung up and the world seemed a little bit colder than it was before our conversation had started. I pulled myself up off the floor where I’d always sit to talk on the phone and went upstairs to my room—, confused and more alone than ever.

I decided that if people were beginning to see me as a person on a permanent downward-spiral, then that’s exactly what I’d become. Party after backseat after movie after bedroom—, I started making my way through all of them with a sense of invincibility. I’d figured that I’d already gone through enough to where only I could get in my own way—, that nothing could slow me down or could take away from the momentum I’d built up over the last couple of years. Everyone around saw the walking catastrophe I’d turned into while I was becoming increasingly unaware of the dangers starting to surround me.

The night finally arrived when I took one too many pills and was rushed off to have my stomach pumped clean. I woke up with leather straps wrapped around my wrists. My arms were tied to the metal handlebars of a hospital bed on both sides. In the corner sat a woman of about forty with a nice, warm smile on her face.

“Hello,” she said. “Do you know where you are?”

“Yes—,” I answered back. I knew what’d happened. To escape the heavy sadness of the entire situation, I began replaying old memories of happier times. Just when it seemed like I’d made the worst mistake of my life, I noticed there was a phone sitting beside me on the nightstand to my left. I thought about it for a while before finally being allowed to pick it up and dial her number. It rang—, and rang and rang. Just before I was readying to hang up, she answered.

“Hello?,” her familiar voice said with a tinge of worry to it.

“Hey—,” I began, trying to follow it up with something useful to say, but I came up empty. She didn’t wait long to get down to it.

“Why are you calling me from St. Joe’s?,” she promptly asked.

“I—, umm..., almost O.D.ed,” and just before I had the chance to say another word, I heard the coldest click of a telephone hanging up ever. That would be it. Nothing else followed but more tears and praying sessions for me with sidewalk preachers and sobriety milestones that I’d mess up later on anyway. There was nothing else to do or say. We split ways for good after that.

What’s it feel like when pure romance dissipates? It’s being left completely alone in a foreign country with no translator. Nothing around makes any sense and nobody can help out. Every message, meaning, and concept had been made clear through their presence. Now? Static. How can we eat—, or drink—, or even sleep? The soul’s been ripped apart and our own reflection is no longer familiar. Lover was gone—, but so was Best Friend. Nobody was left to confide in. Nobody was left to even speak to about anything that mattered at all. So onward I went—, into the pitch black darkness of an everlasting night with nothing to illuminate my path or guide me back to the dawn. I wasn’t just pursued by the shadows any longer—, I became one myself.

Things started to make less and less sense. I didn’t feel like I fit into the mainstream lifestyles any longer and couldn’t pinpoint what I’d been made for in the first place. People all around me had goals, went in pursuit of them, and reached new levels of their destinies. Me? I just lulled around in self- pity. All that kept coming back were memories of better days. Please let me turn back time, I’d beg The Universe. No luck. What used to be someone so secure and confident was reduced to a mere hallowed-out shell of their former selves. I had to exit the existential framework. Life seemed so forced and anyone who didn’t follow its strict guidelines was faulted to the maximum degree. Selfish arrogance took over. I didn’t think about anyone else—, least of which, the people that truly loved me—, least of which, my mother. She could tell I’d become withdrawn and uninterested in everything that I’d liked so much before. Who was I to take such a special gift as life in my own two hands and try to rip it into shreds just for the sake of self-interest and sorrow? No one. I was no one—, I just didn’t know it yet.

Finally, the day came when everything around me silenced itself into a dull quiet. Like I’d finally reached the end of a long-winding tunnel. What’s left?, I thought. Nothing. I found myself in the backseat of a car with the outside world blurring by. Faster and faster it went—, down the busy street and straight towards the nearest E.R. Once there—, I woke up—, mentally and emotionally. The doctors’ hearts broke for my mother’s own. I couldn’t open my eyes from the sheer heaviness of it all and didn’t know how to process the situation so just fell into a very deep, very detached sort of sleep.

#nonfiction #memoir #love #romance #relationships

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indigo474 · 2 years

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NO TITLE 2/23/23 the planets were perfectly lined up with the moon-perfect. I went out to see them again and clouds. today i heard someone whisper my name-right in my ear. is that crazy or what? i heard it-clear as anything... and i heard it again 2x today- the 2nd time it wasnt a whisper- i asked my coworker if she heard someone say my name- nope. meeting meetings and more meetings- the people on my team are like children. it's very odd - they all seem to need a lot of attention. except one- she's new and reminds me of me.

I saw Kika tonight- she was just exhausted. i tried my best not to complain while working out- i stopped myself- BECAUSE--- it's a privilege to work out- my body is able. how fortunate am I??? but GOD is it hard. lower body hard but i can make myself do it. it's not like that with my upper body.. i just get to a point where i just can't-its physical yes but also mental. I'm making progress 90x4- so maybe next week i'll do 5. my arms started to hurt half way through. the work out- tomorrow i will be sore.

Work is good- i seriously did not think i was going to make it. things are starting to come together. since they cut OT lots of people are upset. A coworker i'm friendly with approached me and said she's thinking about leaving because she needs the OT. she also said something to me that i've thought for a long time- the job gives her a ick feeling. she went on to say how it breaks her heart how we basically rip people off- and we have to convince them it's worth it. I got what she was saying. I've felt like that for a long time. I've come to understand my company is a necessary evil- people need what we have- we sell them on peace of mind- they spend thousands more than they need to because we sell them the security of having someone there 24/7-- people fear what they don't understand. I've talked to so many people who think oil can just blow up. BUT good luck finding a company you can feel good about- she said she was going to look into Amazon- HA - all those trucks on the road and there carbon emissions- Amazon has a huge ick factor. the bottom line is money-

I had another coworker come to my desk and tell me all the ways her alcoholic husband abuses her. Not the 1st time ive heard this. the 1st time we were in the lunchroom and she was going on and on about how awful he is and i said well, maybe you'll get lucky and he'll drip dead-die.. everyone got real quiet- this time i had a little more empathy for HER- she was telling me the horrible things he says to her- X use to say the same things to me- i told her i was sorry and she didn't deserve to be talked to that way. not only is he an alcoholic but he doesnt really work either- part time wal mart- 32 years she's put up with him. she threatens him with her leaving- i doubt she'll ever leave- i'm sure her life would be so much easier without him. why do we people do that to ourselves? invest so much fucking time into someone and something that ultimately drags us down? we fear what we don't know-right? Fear makes us do a lot of things and also prevents us from doing a lot of things. Be scared and do it anyway. James says i need to branch out and do to a different park-i'm scared i'll get lost- do it scared. do it anyway-

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itchybutts22 · 2 years

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Guess who’s back (back back) back again

Welp. It is a beautiful rainy day today. When they sky is gray as far as the eye can see, the world feels a little smaller (in a good way). Still struggling with getting things done. It feels like there are just SO many things to do, I don't even know where to start. I should probably physically write everything down so I can organize... but who knows if I'll get to that. Although, I am feeling more motivated to get to work on some graphic design ideas that have been floating around in my head for awhile. I also need to get moving on Christmas gifts- I had planned to make a document full of links and pictures, so I could know exactly where to go for black friday / cyber monday. Also, I certainly don't mean physically go anywhere - I tried black friday once, and hated every minute of it. As if being around throngs of people on any normal day isn't bad enough - when material greed and a sense of urgency are put into play, well, it gets gross. *cough* pandemic toilet paper and sanitizer *cough cough* I am still watching Lucifer and getting my emotions wrecked so, nothing new there. I'm trying to power through it as fast as possible so I can put it all in the rear view mirror. I have this thing with movies, books - where it's like I take on the mood of whatever it is I'm invested in at the time. It feels like my thoughts and personality shift. After getting done reading I often feel very out of sorts, like it takes me awhile to feel as though I'm back in the real world again. When I read, it's like watching a movie - most of the time I don't even realize I am reading. I get told all the time - "it's just a movie, it's not real" anytime I'm having my heart broken over a particularly sad part. And yes, that much is obvious in the most literal sense, but almost always you can draw a real-world comparison. Potential Lucifer spoilers here - but like, for example, when Charlotte died, I was a hot mess. Yes I know she isn't a real person. That character is not a person who actually died. But people do die in the real world all the time. Then I begin to think about the people who never had enough time with someone they loved - and nothing you can do can bring them back, or give them more time together. Some die painfully young, and some just die painfully. I imagine myself in that position. If my love had just died, how would I be feeling? What would I be missing?... I would miss how they smell, how good and comfortable and safe it felt to be held by them. How they would make fun of me for ridiculous things. How they'd very often break out into random songs that made me laugh. How although it took me years and a lot of struggle and pain to finally open myself up to someone - I had finally succeeded in doing so, regardless of the risk. How every time I see their favorite candy, type of car, or something we used to joke about - they would be all I could think of. Everything in the world would remind me of them, and there would be no escape from the pain. THAT is why I cry about movie deaths. Because those things DO happen to people all the time. It isn't just contained to fictional works. That massive and deep amount of heartbreak has been felt before and will be felt again - and there is nothing to be done about it. I hate that anyone should have to go through such a thing. I would feel as though most of my life had been ripped away - and the absolute finality of it, is heartbreaking. Often times I can get through something if I know that at some point, it will end. Sometimes that's the only thing that gets me through. But to know that their absence and everything they were - the entire world that they were - is just gone and will never return... well, I think that is worth having a good sob. ANYWAY... That's kind of what I'm going through watching Lucifer. And also, of course, the sadness that comes with knowing the world will never be as fantastic as in fiction. I don't believe heaven or hell exist - I'd love to be wrong, but I don't see it. There are so many things that we as humans will create and entertain in an attempt to calm the panic that comes with consciousness - and being aware that we will not live forever. It's terrifying. the more we learn about the size of the universe around us, well, it's hard to even wrap your mind around. I don't know if you've ever seen those animations they have, about size comparisons as they zoom out from earth, but it's insanely frightening. We are so, so small, in such a huge place. It is more than enough to make one question their place in this existence, in so many ways. We want to be important, we want our existence and lives to have meaning. To not just be another blip on the radar that disappears without a trace. It's hard to accept that we really don't know how the universe ultimately works.. how we came into being, or even became conscious. We don't know how things truly began or were created - but we do know- to an extent- that some day nothing will remain here at all. Our planet and everything we have ever made or done, will be swallowed by the sun and cease to exist. Past that, even, the sun someday will not exist. Why bother progressing? Why bother producing much at all? Or why record and try to leave things for people to remember us by? Eventually, there will be no one to remember anything, and no proof that anything ever actually existed to begin with. The thing I have to keep telling myself - is that even if there is no proof, even if there does come a time where simply nothing exists at all anymore - it won't change the fact that things did happen. Proof or not - the physical materials, the lives, the thoughts - they were here, whether anyone could prove it or not. And I think we created religion to try and tame this fear of our actions and our lives being all for naught. I think it was an attempt to not succumb to terror and hopelessness. And so, I do not think any of it is real. Of course I would love to feel like I had that reassurance - That once this body of mine shuffles off the mortal coil - that I will still consciously continue somewhere. I've realized myself that I'm quite attached to myself as an individual. I would want to remain me, wherever it was I ended up. But I won't tell myself a lie just to try and feel an ounce of comfort. I'm a firm believer in knowing the truth, whether or not it hurts. Lying to yourself is just... it's a way to live a fake existence, and I don't want that for myself. Anyway, I ought to get going - much to get done today and all that. I guess that was my blurb for today. I may have more later - although it seems I'm never around my laptop when these miles long trains of thought hit me. So... there's that. Until next time

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bullet-prooflove · 2 years

Text

Tonight: Dominique Luca x Reader

Prompt: "What is it you're trying to tell me? Because right now, I don't know what the hell you're trying to tell me."

The locker room wasn’t the place for this, you knew that. Both you and Luca had agreed to keep work and your relationship separate. In here you were colleagues and out there you could be a couple, albeit keeping it low key under the radar. However, things were changing, what had started out as a casual way to burn off a little steam at the end of a shift had become more and before you knew it the two of you were falling for one another. You knew it was only a matter of time before your secret came out, there were too many close calls recently. There were so many ways in which things could go wrong and you couldn’t have that. So, you had made a decision.

When Luca had stormed into the locker room it didn’t take a genius to deduct, he had worked out what was happening. There was hurt shining in those eyes of his, you felt like you had driven a knife right into his chest.

“Luca,” you began, shutting your locker and turning to face him.

His blond eyebrows were furrowed together, his forehead creased as he jabbed a finger at your chest.

“You couldn’t even tell me,” He snarled at you. “I had to hear it from Hicks.”

“Dom, what did you expect?” You questioned him, your hands coming to rest on your hips. “We both agreed we couldn’t go on like this anymore.”

"What is it you're trying to tell me?” he snapped, his chest heaving. “Because right now, I don't know what the hell you're trying to tell me."

“I was going to tell you.” You said reaching out for him. “Hicks just jumped the gun.”

Luca pulled away, crossing his arms over his chest and blinking furiously.

“So that’s it huh?” he said shrugging his shoulders. “You wanna break up? You wanna give up on the two of us?”

“Dom…” you started again, stepping forward.

“It feels like you’re ripping my heart right out.” He told you, his voice lowering an octave. “Like the last six months haven’t meant a damn thing.”

“Dom…” you whispered, swallowing hard part the well of emotion in your throat. “The last six months have meant everything to me. You mean everything to me.”

“Then why are you doing this?” he implored quietly. “Why are you leaving the team?”

“I can’t be a secret anymore.” You told him. “I want to step outside and not worry that people are going to see us, that we’re going to get caught out and lose everything we’ve worked for.”

“So, you decided to leave S.W.A.T?” he prompted, his muscles in his jaw clenching.

“I chose to leave S.W.A.T, Dom.” You said, before sighing. “But not you, never you.”

“Do you mean that?” he asked, his voice shaking just a little as you lingered close.

Your palms came to rest on his chest as you looked up into his face. You could feel his heart beating underneath your fingertips, you thought about the ways this man had saved you not just physically but spiritually too.

“Yea I do.” You told him; his hands came to rest on your hips as your eyes met. “I’ve thought about this for a while now, when I got hit in the vest the other day it made me realise what’s important and that’s you Dom. S.W.A.T is like family to me, but you, you’re home.”

“Babe…” he murmured, drawing away for a second so that he could see the truth in your eyes. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Special Victims will be a change but it’s where I need to be. That last case with the kids…”

“Yea, it was a tough one.” He said softly, tucking a strand of hair back behind your ear. “You still have nightmares about it.”

You smiled into his hand as he cupped your face tenderly, his thumb ghosting over the apple of your cheek.

“And you’re always there when I wake up.” You said, your lips brushing over the pulse point of his wrist.

“Always.” He murmured earnestly. “I’ve always got your six.”

“It’s time to step into the light Dom.” You told him, your hand coming to rest on his.

“Tonight.” He promised, leaning in close. His lips brushed over yours gently before he spoke. “Tonight, we’ll tell them everything.”

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

#dominic luca #dominique luca #dominic luca x reader #dominique luca x reader #dominique luca imagine #s.w.a.t. imagine #s.w.a.t cbs #s.w.a.t.#swat cbs #swat

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firstbeachgoblin · 3 years

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Hey! I hope you’re well, can i request an imagine where reader is Embry’s imprint and they haven’t seen eachother in months because reader has a life she can’t just drop for him but she comes back when the pack is blowing up her phone ? Thank youu and don’t worry if you don’t write it, it’s fine!

Thank you for the request! It took a Long time But It's now complete with a total whopping 5k words!! Any way I hope you enjoy the fic.

I put it under the cut because it's so long but it's my brain baby at the moment lo.

Returning to you.

Embry Call x Reader

5058 words

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Most of my life has been spent in the Forks area so getting to travel to Europe for six months to see the art and culture was a dream come true. The past four months I’ve been travelling through Europe, starting in Greece and ending my trip in the Irish countryside.

The old art and architecture filled me with a joy that I could not get anywhere else in the world. The smells, sounds and sights all played their own part into the experience. I got to see the moon rise over Mount Olympus, the David by Michelangelo in the Vatican, tour through the Louvre, drink wine on the beaches of France and so much more. I’ve been living my best life.

It's been a dream to see the world, I've met so many new people and tried so much food. I’ve enjoyed every minute of my trip, but there was a part of me that longed for the beaches of La Push.

That part is Embry. Embry Call. My boyfriend, my pal, my love and my light. To me Embry is my everything and to him I’m his everything. That is one thing that has been made perfectly clear the past four months I’ve been away. Every day he’s told me he misses me and I know he means it, I’ve been told not just by him but also the rest of the pack.

Everyday I’ve woken up to ‘Good morning I miss you.” Sometimes he phones to tell me that he feels like he might die if I’m away for any longer. I always chuckle and tell him he will survive, it’s not like I’m going away forever; but that's what he feels like it is. This usually earns me a long winded whine from the other end of the line.

My phone buzzed against the smooth surface of the bedside table while Embry’s face flashed across my screen signalling that he’s calling. A smile graces my lips as I pick up the phone to be greeted with his loving voice.

“Hi (y/n)!! I miss you so much.” sadness was laced in his usual cheery greeting, it hurt my heart to be away from him but I would never trade this experience for anything. I’ve been planning this for years and I wasn’t going to pass up cheap plane tickets.

He filled me in on the pack's shenanigans, complaining about how they keep teasing him for being glued to his phone awaiting any updates I would send him. The later it got the heavier my eyelids seemed to feel, my speech started to slur with exhaustion of time zones while Embry continued to become more energetic with each passing minute.

“Em. . .” A yawn interrupted me mid sentence, a low whine emanated from the phone as he knew I would want to get to bed to have the energy for the long trip I’ll embark on tomorrow for Ireland, which is my last stop. I’d be spending the remaining two months of my trip in the lush countryside.

“I think I should get to sleep, I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow.” I mumbled into the phone.

“But (y/n)!” he dragged out. I knew he wanted to talk longer but I physically cannot do it. Even though Embry and I don’t live together officially yet, we’d talk into the early morning till one of us fell asleep.

“But (y/n) what?” I dragged out the ‘a’ matching his whine.

“I miss you and want you to come home.” I could hear him pause over line before he continued.

“Besides, sleeping isn’t the same without you.”

I ran my hand through my hair gently tugging on the roots easing the tension that’s built up over my trip. As much fun as I’ve had, he does have a point. Sleeping just isn’t the same without Em. My nights have been spent restless in beds that aren’t mine without the comforting touch of my boyfriend; but that doesn’t mean I can just drop everything and go back home.

“Em you know I can’t just pack everything and go home. . .” I looked at the painting that hung over the tv that sat opposite of my bed. A puppy-like whimper fell from his lips when he spoke again, his voice cracked like he was going to cry. It broke my heart hearing him upset.

“I-I know I just really miss you.”

“I know Embry I miss you too, but it’s only two more months then I’ll be home.”

We chatted for ten more minutes before I fell asleep on the phone. As much as I missed falling asleep in his warm embrace I can’t just fly back home, not yet at least.

The blaring of my alarm woke me from my slumber. The clock face read 6:02 a.m. taking everything within myself to peel back the blankets that encased me in their warm grip. I patted through the bed sheets to find my phone only to knock it onto the floor in the process.

My lock screen adorned a photo of Embry with icing smudged across his face from his birthday party but a swamp of text messages from the pack covered my favourite photo of him. Five texts from Leah, seven from Jake, nine texts from Paul, 12 texts and two missed calls from Sam and a whole group chat titled ‘(y/n) come home.’

The group chat kept pinging with the members of the pack who were still awake discussing the logistics of flying out to Ireland to take me back home. Was Embry really causing that much strife in the pack for them to create a group chat? Knowing him, it couldn’t be too far from the truth.

Leah and I call once a week to check in and make sure the other is doing okay since I left. It’s one of my favourite parts of the week being able to have a one on one with someone sensible. Every week she fills me in on Embry begrudgingly, she does it because she knows it makes me happy which I appreciate.

Reading through her texts she didn’t say much in regards to Em’s behaviour the only message relating to him was “come get your man child please, he’s getting snot on the floor.”

I listened through Sam’s voice mails which were begging me to come home, he informed me that once Em knew I was asleep he started moping around Emily’s house again for the fourth consecutive night in a row. This was news to me.

The texts entailed that Embry was becoming a pain on patrol and that Paul ‘couldn’t take another minute of the incessant whining.’ I told them the same thing I told Embry; I’m not dropping everything and rushing back home to sooth the wails of a love sick boy. There isn’t much I can do from across the ocean anyway.

I stretched my body and headed towards the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower before I had to leave for the airport.

I packed the few remaining things I left out to prepare for the flight and headed my way to the lobby to check out. I enjoyed travelling but I wasn’t going to miss sleeping in hotels and hostels.

Two weeks have passed since I touched down in Ireland and to say I’ve been having the time of my life is an understatement; I’ve been having a ball living my best life.

The land was capped in a luscious emerald green sea of grass that waved in the wind, the roads were lined with hand built stone walls that marked the division of farmers fields.

Sheep and cattle grazed in pastures, and old castles dotted the countryside. It was gorgeous. It was a view that I wanted to see again, a view I want to see with Embry.

It felt like time was flying by between sight seeing, trail hiking, museum tours and calls with Embry and Leah. It has already been a month. I had one more month before I was to jet set back to the U.S. and see my Embry.

One more month before I was back in La Push surrounded by the scent of sea water and trees with the looming threat of rain constantly overhead except in the summer. For two months of the year La Push was bright and sunny with the expected summer storms that happened.

I had fallen asleep on the phone with Embry again when I realized my phone was lost in the sea of sheets as it buzzed with an incoming phone call.

I couldn’t find it until the call had gone to voicemail and my phone landed on the ground when I gave up and ripped the blankets off of the bed but whoever called must have felt it was really important. Picking up my phone the most unflattering photo of Jacob was plastered on the screen, his name in white.

“Hello?” I asked groggily into the phone, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. I looked over at the clock which said in bold red numbers 1 am.

“Hey (y/n)! You sound like you just woke up.” I heard him chortle from the other end.

“That’s because I just woke up Jake, it’s one in the morning.” a yawn escaped my lips, I know I’ll have a rough time getting over jet lag when I go home.

He occupied twenty minutes with idle chatter and borderline interrogation about all the sights I’ve seen before I asked him why he was calling me so early in the morning

“Embry has spent the week at my house, you need to come home there’s nothing we can do anymore to occupy him till you return.” He sighed, Jake knows I want to finish my trip but we made a deal that I would come home early if there were absolutely no options left to keep Embry from sending the pack into hysterics.

I knew he was buttering me up for something.

“Are you sure you can’t figure something out? It’s just another month!”

“Another month of him eating my cereal and getting dirt on me from my dad!”

I snorted with laughter at the fact that Billy was telling Embry every embarrassing detail from his childhood.

“Jake please just let me think about it okay?” I sighed, flopping back into my hollowed cave of blankets and sheets.

“Okay, I’ll let you think about it but don’t think I won’t be telling Sam.” he warned.

We laughed together and he wished me a good night before hanging up the phone, before I slipped back into slumber I sent Jake one more text.

‘You wake me up at one in the morning again and it’s over for you.’ in which he responded with ‘Oh no I’m so scared lol.’

I reached over to the bedside table and plugged my phone in before the sweet embrace of warmth and slumber took over my senses.

The next three days I was bombarded with texts from Paul whining about the wolf mind link and how every patrol shift he had with Embry was spent tuning out his constant thoughts of me.

Standing in the shower with hot water running over my skin soothing my tense muscles I heard my phone buzz against the granite countertop. I rolled my eyes and continued to bask in the endless hotel hot water.

As bad as staying in hotels could be, the hot water made up for the early breakfast and sheets that were tucked in a little too tightly.

I had shampoo in my hair when my phone started buzzing again, this time with a call. I grumbled under the stream of water washing away the soap before it could get in my eyes; whoever's calling can wait.

I moved on to conditioning my hair, letting it sit while I wash the rest of my body with a lightly scented lavender soap.

I refused to use the complimentary soap because it dried out my skin and the lotion just left me feeling sticky instead of moisturized.

Watching the soap run down the drain my phone rang again, I clenched my fists, who could possibly be calling me now? I still refused to get out of my steamy heaven to answer my phone.

My gut told me that whoever was calling wouldn’t let up until I answered. I washed out the conditioner from my hair and wrapped it in a towel.

The mirror was coated in a layer of steam, the tiles were cool against my feet. I wrapped the plush towel around my body, mopping up the droplets of water that remained.

My phone started vibrating with rapid fire text messages from the pack’s group chat they made a month ago. I sighed, picking it up to sift through the messages. I read a message from Jared telling me he’d pay me to return.

The pack always made me laugh, together they’re a walking sitcom. There is never a dull moment with them, someone always had something witty or sarcastic to say.

I checked to see who had called me and it turned out it was Sam, I listened to his voice mails and immediately phoned him back.

As soon as I hit the call button it only rang for half a second before he picked up.

“Thank you for calling back, I thought I’d have to call two more times.” he chuckled.

“Well I was in the middle of a shower, can’t really take a call there.” I moved through the room with my phone pressed between my shoulder and cheek. Stopping at my suitcase to pick out what I was going to wear for the day.

“I’m going to be frank with you, I need you to come home. . .” I let out a huff before he continued.

“Embry needs you badly, he’s just a pile of mush on the floor now. It’s a chore to get him up to go on patrol. Please?”

“Fine, I’ll see what I can do Sam, I’ll try to book a flight for the earliest date I can find.” I knew I was giving in but from what they were telling me and the constant texts were getting to be difficult to manage.

“Thank you, when you get back I’ll buy you take out for a month okay?”

“I hate that you know what my weakness is.” I laughed through the phone, a month of free take out? Hell yeah. It made the prospect of going back a little brighter since I wasn’t going to complete the rest of my trip.

I wasn’t losing out on too much though, I had seen and done everything that I wanted. It wouldn’t be too bad to go home early.

We talked for a couple more minutes before parting ways, I threw my phone on the bed and watched it bounce a couple times before turning my attention back to getting dressed. Since I had a flight to book it was okay to spend the rest of the day lounging in pj’s.

The soft fabric of my pj’s brushed against my skin as I jumped into bed with my computer in hand, and now it was time to book a flight back home. Maybe text Paul and tell him he can quit complaining as well.

I woke up the next morning with my flight booked for take off in the afternoon and my daily good morning text from Embry. I felt a little sad to be leaving such a beautiful country but the trees, ocean and Embry all called my name.

Pacing through the room I grabbed the comfiest set of clothes I packed for my return flight back to Seattle, I had enough time to sleep on the plane to be conscious enough for the three and a half hour drive back to La Push.

I was set for a long day ahead of me but it was going to be worth it in the end, seeing the bright and happy face of my boyfriend, getting to hug him and kiss him again.

I made one last check of the room before I gathered my clothes and toiletry kit and made my way into the bathroom to shower before my long flight. As I was stepping into the shower my phone pinged from the counter with a text from Sam.

“Have you booked that flight yet?” it read.

“Yeah I’m due for take off at 1. I should be back in La Push some time tomorrow!”

My fingers brushed the cool surface of the counter top as I put my phone back and got into the shower, hot water immediately running down my back; this time my phone wasn’t being blown up by a desperate wolf pack trying to get my attention.

I can’t sit in the shower for hours on end this time, I have a flight to catch and a boy to surprise. Embry was currently still under the impression that I would be coming home in two weeks. Boy would he be in for a surprise.

The residual steam wafted out of the bathroom while I brushed my teeth revealing my towel wrapped body and hair in the mirror behind the skin. I checked the time and noted that I had two hours to check out, make my way to the airport, and check into my flight back home. Two more hours before I could smell the trees and ocean, two more hours before I could see my friends and hug Embry.

The time managed to move by in a blur by the time I was shutting the trunk of the yellow cab that was going to drop me off at the airport. I got into the back seat and the driver peeled away from the hotel front onto the winding roads.

“Aye where are you headin’?” The driver inquired in a thick Irish accent.

One thing I noticed in my stay here was that the accent changed in every town or village I passed through. It added to the charm

“Well, I’m on my way home after spending six months in Europe.” My eyes scanned over the green hills that rushed past in a blur.

“My favourite places I’ve been have definitely been Ireland and Greece.” I smiled towards him.

The lines around his eyes crinkled with the smile that graced his face at the mention of Ireland.

“Well that’s good to hear innit? Glad you’ve enjoyed your stay. We welcome ya with open arms if you return.”

We held a light conversation until we arrived in front of the drop off area for passengers, thanked him and grabbed my bags before heading into the crowded lobby.

The front of the terminal was metal and glass that reached towards the heavens with automatic doors gaping open like a mouth. Inside was a dull white with light grey floor which my shoes clicked against with each step.

It was packed with people like a can of sardines, I weaved my way through the masses towards the check in desk which thankfully only had a short line to get through.

Under the mix of fluorescents and natural light the desk lady’s bags that donned under her eyes glared with visible exhaustion from the mass amounts of people that swarmed the terminal.

Despite her clear drowsiness she still greeted me with a warm smile and a soft hello.

I grabbed my ticket and thanked her then turned and pushed myself through to the security check, dropped my luggage off and took a seat to wait for the boarding call for my flight.

As I waited grey clouds started to fill the sky blocking out the little sun that was once shining in its place.

My eyes grew heavier by each minute that passed, waiting could be hard, but waiting in an airport where there’s no sense of time is worse. So I distracted myself by people watching.

A lady was bouncing her baby, the old man across from me was snoring. A businessman paced back and forth speaking urgently into his phone, a family chatted excitedly for their family trip to the Canary Islands.

I pulled my eyes away from them as the call for my flight rang out over the crowded terminal, grabbing my suitcase and making my way towards the gate.

Excitement filled my every step as the anticipation grew and bubbled inside me. I gave the greeting flight attendant a small smile and made my way to my seat, for being last minute I managed to get a window seat.

We sat on the tarmac for twenty minutes before taking off and before I knew it the seat belt light pinged off and I was fast asleep jet setting my way back to America, back to my home.

I couldn’t tell what time it was when I woke up but the clock on the tv screen said 2 a.m. and that we’re due to arrive in an hour. I sat up in my seat and gazed out the window into the starry night sky.

Energy started to course through me as I watched the arrival time tick closer and closer. A light rain misted down over Seattle as I left the Seatac terminal and made my way through the maze of cars in the night that was made darker by the rain.

I spotted my blue Subaru and popped the trunk so my interior and seats wouldn’t get wet. It had been a long six months since I last sat in my driver's seat, the wheel almost felt foreign in my hands as I turned the key and listened to the engine roar to life.

I drove through the winding roads of the city to the Seattle-Bainbridge Ferry to take the 45 minute ride into Bainbridge and headed North to get on the 101 then turn onto 110 which would take me back into the heart of La Push.

The closer I got to Forks the brighter the sky became; well as bright as it could be on a gloomy day. The clouds became painted in the glow of purple and pink as the sun rose over the horizon, the rain had let up and left me with an overcast sky for the remainder of the drive back.

Since I slept virtually the entire flight back I didn’t feel the weight of exhaustion at all, but surely when I arrived back in the arms of Embry I knew I’d hit the wall with sleep deprivation.

As I barreled through the corridor of trees I passed the signature ‘welcome to Forks’ sign and turned right onto the 110, twenty minutes to home. I was so close but my soul felt like it was light years away.

The clock on my radio told me that it was currently 6:45, the pinks and purples that coated the sky faded away to the typical grey that fills my senses with delight. Sea salt and washed up kelp started to seep into the air that circulated into my car making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

Closer to Beach Drive I got the stronger the smell of the ocean became. The turn signal clicked as I turned onto the road that gave way to Sam and Emily’s house so they could take me over to Embry’s in the off chance that he happened to be awake at this hour.

It’s highly unlikely that he would be up at this hour but it’s not something I could be one hundred percent positive about. I stepped out of my car and turned around to see Emily running as fast as she possibly could towards me with open arms and a huge smile plastered across her face.

Dropping my bags I dashed across their lawn into her embrace.

“Oh (y/n)! I missed you so much, you must be so tired.” She released me from her hug and settled her hands on my shoulders giving them a gentle squeeze.

“I missed you too Emily, I knew I’d be tired but not this tired.” I chuckled while wiping at my under eyes in a feeble attempt to wipe away the exhaustion.

She put her hand on my lower back and led me inside for the awaiting cup of tea while Sam moved my bags into his truck.

The warmth of their home embraced me, the comfort of their kitchen was familiar. The only thing missing was the rowdy group of boys that made up the pack who usually occupied every available seat in the home.

I took a seat at the kitchen table where three cups of tea sat waiting, I should have expected a q and a when I returned. Wrapping my hands around the mug the warmth that radiated from it filled my hands.

Emily took a seat beside me and Sam entered through the door and sat adjacent to both of us.

“So how was the trip?” We sat around their table chatting until our cups were empty and filed out of the house into the early morning air.

“Emily and I will drive your car back to your place after I drop you off at Embry’s, the kid’s been sleeping in my living room more often than I’d appreciate.” Sam’s eyes crinkled with a smile, I knew he was joking but at the same time there was truth to his words; and honestly I couldn’t blame him.

“Thank you for putting up with him while I was gone, I owe you guys one and you owe me take out for a month.” He rolled his eyes and ruffled my hair turning into the Call's driveway. Embry’s mom had already left for work leaving him to his own devices; which meant he would sleep in as late as his heart desired.

We got out of Sam’s truck and he dropped my bags on the doorstep. I turned and gave him a quick hug and a thank you before sticking my key into the lock.

The door creaked open and I dragged my suitcases to a stop in their front entry way and shut it behind me.

My shoes landed on the floor with a soft thud and I gingerly walked up the stairs to ensure I wasn’t too noisy while making sure to avoid the one squeaky stair.

I got to the top of the stairs and hung a left down their light beige hallway that gave way to the oak door that guarded Embry’s room. His soft snores filtered through the door, it’s door knob was cool in my hand. Making an audible click with the turn of my wrist.

Dark mahogany brown hair peaked up from beneath the sheet that tucked Embry’s body out of view. One pillow was on the floor while the other was tucked firmly between his cheek and arm, I smiled at the sight of my sleeping boyfriend which filled my every inch with the utmost joy.

My sock covered feet pressed into the carpeted flooring with each step I took towards his bed making sure to step over the piles of dirty clothes that were scattered around the room.

The sun filtered through the gaps in the window blinds casting pools of golden light on the floor and along his walls causing the crystal prism that hung above his closet to sweep dashes of colour across his walls.

I pulled back the grey top sheet to reveal his peaceful face and I swear my heart was going to burst with the amount of love that I feel for him. His hair was tousled in every direction and a cow lick stuck straight up on the left side of his head.

My hands ran over his hair, smoothing it out while I whispered his name. Embry groaned a bit and rolled over, I whispered his name a little bit louder and moved my hands from his hair to his shoulders running them along his arms finally waking him from his slumber.

“Hi Em!” I gushed out as his brown eyes opened and focused on me. His face split with his toothy smile and his arms shot around me, pulling me down into his chest.

“Do you know how much I missed you?” Embry mumbled into my hair.

“I figured a lot with the amount of texts I got from the pack.” I reached up brushing the hair from his face.

“You can never leave me for that long again. . .I didn’t know what to do without you here.” He ran his hands through my hair placing a gentle kiss upon the top of my head.

“I was so worried about you. I couldn’t protect you and make sure you were safe.”

“Well next time I’ll make sure you can come, then you don’t have to worry.” Craning my neck up I placed a kiss upon his lips which were still a bit swollen from slumber.

“The important thing is that I returned safe and in one piece. The other important thing is I get to spoil you with the gifts I brought back!”

His laugh filled the room sending vibrations through my body.

“Hey! That’s my job to spoil you, not the other way around.” He ruffled my hair causing us both to laugh. I peeled off my socks and wiggled my way under his blanket.

“I think it’s time we catch up on six months worth of cuddling.” I poked a finger into his side.

“Yeah I think that’s a good idea, you owe me for being gone so long.”

“What? I came back early!” His hands made their way under my shirt to rest on the bare skin of my back sending waves of heat through my body from being pressed into him. Oh how I missed my heater.

“Yeah, by like what? Two weeks?” his silky voice chuckled out.

“I missed you Embry.” I told him, placing a kiss on his exposed shoulder.

“I missed you too. Now let's go back to sleep, you look tired.” He said to me as he rested his chin atop my head and pulling me closer.

#embry call imagine #embry call x reader #twilight wolves #twilight wolf pack #twilight renaissance #twilight revival #twilight saga #wolf pack #embry call #jared cameron #jacob black #sam uley #paul lahote #quil ateara #seth clearwater #leah clearwater

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obxsummer · 3 years

Text

By Your Side // John B Routledge

john b routledge x reader

warnings: physical violence, angst

part of #obx2celebration

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a/n: y'all please keep in mind this is fictional. i know the process of what happens in here would never happen in real life but that's the fun of it all :)

summary below the cut to avoid spoilers

summary: seeing your boyfriend in prison was never easy, but seeing him in the medical wing leads to a heart to heart in each other's arms.

The weight in your chest was getting heavier and heavier with each breath you took. It felt like you would never catch a break, never be able to breathe fully ever again. Ever since you and John B returned to the Outer Banks, it felt like it was one thing after another that just caused more and more trouble for the two of you. Nothing was worse than the look on his face when the cops finally cornered you and your friends. You had gripped John B’s hand as long as possible before he was torn from your grasp.

The whole day seemed like a blur then, but the soreness in your throat was still there from where you screamed at Shoupe and Deputy Thomas for how they handled John B. It was unforgivable, burned in your mind on repeat as you watched the scene over and over again with your heart cracking a little more each time. Regardless of the fact that your boyfriend was being arrested and charged for something he had nothing to do with, you couldn’t get over the fact that he was being shoved around and literally beaten by the people who were supposed to protect and help you. Needless to say, anytime you saw Shoupe or Deputy Thomas, your glare was enough to make them wish they hadn’t stepped foot in your path.

You were a mess without John B. Normally, the two of you were attached at the hip, but being without him was never this hard. The lingering thought in the back of your head kept reminding you that he wasn’t safe, he wasn’t home. Every minute he spent in prison was a minute you didn’t sleep because you were so worried.

Kie had done her best to try to console you. JJ had spewed crazy plans that only made you more upset because you knew none of them would work and John B wasn’t getting out unless you exposed Ward. Pope was silent, lurking in the shadows at the loss of his best friend. He clung to Kie in hopes that they would all figure something out soon enough.

The Chateau was nowhere near as comforting, even with all of your friends scattered across the house at every second of the day. You had visited John B each chance you had just to reassure yourself that he wasn’t gone completely. You would do anything to be in his arms, to hold him and just tell him everything would be okay.

Walking through the doors of the county jail, you moved without words to set all of your stuff on the counter that you couldn’t bring through. The lady behind the desk, Beth, was the only saving grace you had found in the chaos of this mess. She was the only one to treat you respectfully when it came to anything revolving John B. Although she never outwardly stated it, she believed your story, and that meant more to you than she would ever know.

“Hi, Y/N,” She greeted with a small smile. You returned the gesture and accepted the visitor lanyard she stretched out to you. Walking through the metal detector, you followed her back through the hallways. You had slowly gotten used to the cursing and yelling that followed your arrival. Beth was the Director of Visitor Safety throughout the building and in the short time you had known her, she had pulled many strings in regards to you and John B. Within the first two days, she had realized how uncomfortable it was for the two of you to sit and stare at each other with everyone listening. (And yes, she meant everyone because nobody could be in the presence of a “cop killer” and not be amazed).

Beth led you into her office with a smile and shut the door behind her as she left to grab John B. You were more than grateful for her help with everything. Had Beth not been there the day you walked in with tears streaming down your face from the anxiety and terrifying aura of the whole idea, you didn’t know what you would’ve done.

Glancing at the clock, you noticed more time had gone by than usual, and the sound of yelling that emerged had your heart sinking. You stood up, fingers twisting into the torn bandana fabric around your neck out of habit as you stared at the door in worry.

Beth appeared in the window a second later before opening the barrier and looking at you. “Come with me, hurry.” You followed her without another word, keeping close so you wouldn’t lose her. When she diverged off the normal path, you knew something was really wrong. She led you down a separate hallway, scanning her badge when necessary until big letters above the door told you this was the medical bay.

When you made it past the door frame, your eyes instantly landed on the bright orange jumpsuit that your boyfriend was clad in before noticing the expression of terror on his face as he sat on the bed. “John B!”

Wide brown eyes met your gaze in a split second before John B was shoving the nurse’s hands away to catch you the moment you collided with him. You could hear Shoupe, who had been standing nearby, let out what sounded like a sigh of relief before he mumbled something about filing a report and left the room.

“Are you okay? What the hell happened?” You asked John B once you leaned back, hands still grabbing his uniform as if he would disappear through your fingers.

“This is my daughter, Macy,” Beth introduced the nurse standing close by as she avoided your question. “We’re gonna hang over here for a second. If you guys need anything, let us know.”

The two of you gave Beth an appreciative nod as she stepped aside with her daughter. Turning back to your boyfriend, you caught the bruises covering his neck in the light. “JB…” Tears burned your eyes as your fingers glazed over the marks which made him wince. “What the fuck?”

Your boyfriend pulled you back into his chest, fingers running through your hair as he took a deep breath. Nothing was more calming to him than having you in his arms. Being able to actually hold you, feel your skin on his, was healing to him. “Doesn’t matter,” He mumbled against your hair as he recognized the comforting smell of your shampoo. “So glad you’re here.”

The small sob that escaped your throat didn’t surprise him much. John B wasn’t oblivious to what was going on to you without him around. It broke his heart that he couldn’t be there to talk you through it all. Most of the times you came to visit, you were constantly holding him in some way just to feel his skin on yours.

“What if something worse happens?” You choked out through shaking breaths. “John B, you’re not safe here. This isn’t fair. I’m not losing you in a prison of all places!”

“It’s gonna be fine,” He hummed as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. “I’m gonna be fine, babe. We’re gonna figure it out.”

“I’m ripping Shoupe a new one,” You grumbled as you reluctantly let go of him to look at the bruises lining his skin. You let out a teary sigh before your boyfriend brushed the salty drops from your face. “I’m getting you out of here. I’m going home and I’m literally… I don’t know, I’ll find something, somehow. I’m not standing here and letting this happen.”

John B couldn’t keep the smile from forming on his face as he kissed you softly. “I don’t want you doing anything besides taking care of yourself, okay? Please. For me.”

You huffed but nodded regardless. “Whatever, JB.”

“I’m serious!” He argued as he placed his hands on your cheeks to get your attention. “Please. There’s no point in tearing yourself apart without me.”

“Fine, then tell me what happened.”

John B rolled his eyes and sat on the edge of the bed before grabbing your hips and situating you to stand between his legs. His fingers squeezed your sides before he spoke up, “I think your dad has someone on the inside, here, and he’s trying to get rid of me and make it look like an accident.”

You blinked for a moment as you processed before you nodded slightly in agreement. “I wouldn’t put it past him.” You struggled with the idea that this was all your father’s fault and the guilt in your chest was getting worse each second. “I’m sorry, JB.”

“It’s not your fault,” He comforted as he squeezed your hips again in reassurance. “Come on, babe. You know that. I would never blame you for any of this. We just gotta get some evidence to end it, okay?”

“Y/N.” Beth’s voice interrupted your thoughts as you looked up at her. “I’m sorry, honey. We gotta go.”

You nodded slowly, hands intertwining with John B’s as you pressed one last kiss to his forehead. “Promise me you’ll be careful?”

Your boyfriend smiled slightly. “You know careful’s not in my vocabulary.”

Flicking his cheek gently, you smiled as you stepped out of his grasp to follow Beth back out while Macy attended to your boyfriend. Your thoughts were running, but one thing you knew for certain. You would get John B out of prison if it was the last thing you did.

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