#so much wine and so much gin

[landofgay]

we're going to have GROWN UP DINNER. I am making a SALAD. there will be CHAMPAGNE. it will be FANCY. we will be smoking WEED.

[menlove]

i cant even fully relate to that bc i DO like beer but thats genuinely me whenever i have to suffer anything with gin in it

[chuluoyi]

good god i got wasted for the first time and it sure as hell a whole new experience

[glitteratti]

old man in the ways that matter (lover of scotch&gin) 20 something dirtbag also in the ways that matter (box wine lover)

[littlebitofbluelittlebitofcoffee]

…

[jellybeansmud]

after 3 hours of walking i realized my grandma took me out to look for a birthday gift for me

horrible pain and desperate to go home

lead her to the toaster isle of the electronics store we're in

she said :/

ma'am you know full well if you dont know what to get me you can just buy a bag of tea and ill be happy why did you have to make me walk so much if youre just gonna think that what i want is stupid

[jaennie]

wheezing

[anhedonyan]

As I've never been someone to go to parties and such I barely know how every alcohol drink tastes. So when I have the opportunity of trying a "new" one I do it, and everyone asks me "what's your veredict on this one?" and I feel like I'm a sommelier or something.

[rosicheeks]

Hi I want to send you money and get you drunk. What do you like to drink?

🫣

[badgerbl00d]

first dates with the one piece boys

☆ characters: shanks, crocodile

☆ up next: taking an aphrodisiac w/ one piece boys ft. ace, kidd, and law

☆ summary: first dates with shanks and crocodile, crocodile is kind of as asshole but he's whipped so like it's cute..., suggestive content

☆ a/n: i'm back! i'll try to post something else this week but uni is kicking my ass :p requests are open!

☆ 18+, mdni

shanks:

“Ready, sweetheart?”

You blushed, nodding as you tried to ignore the cheers and whoops that erupted from the rest of the crew on board.

Shanks shot a look over his shoulder and you were rewarded with immediate silence. 

He placed a hand on the small of your back and gently guided you alongside him onto the island. 

“Use protection!” someone called out. Definitely Yasopp. 

“Ignore ‘em,” Shanks said. 

“So you don’t wanna use protection?”

Shanks shot you a look, surprised at your quip, “No! Yes! I mean- well, no… We don’t have to y’know- Whatever you want to do ....”

“Very smooth, Captain.” 

He laughed, bringing you toward him, and placed a rough kiss on the top of your head. 

“Ya make me nervous, what can I say?”

Your chest contracted at this confession. You felt an embarrassing amount of pride watching him rendered so uncharacteristically bashful from your words. 

You slipped your hand into his, giving him a soft squeeze, “Just cause this is a date doesn’t mean anything changes between us.”

“Well, we might kiss. And according to you we might fu-”

“Shanks.”

He laughed, louder this time, “Sorry, sorry. I think you’ll like where I’m taking you.” 

There was a cool breeze making its way over both of you, giving you temporary reprieve from the summertime warmth the city was buzzing with. Overgrown trees and flower bushes poured into the lamp-lit streets. 

You talked with each other, never a dull moment between the two of you, as you walked toward wherever Shanks was planning on taking you. 

By the time you stopped walking, you’d made it to a much more empty part of town.

Shanks pointed to a sign on the corner, ‘Happy Hour 8 p.m. - 10 p.m.’

“A bar,” you mused, playfully rolling your eyes at him, “How surprising.”

He smiled and tugged at the strap of your dress, “Tsk, tsk. So impatient.”

He led you into the dinghy building, the wooden door damaged from what you imagined was years of drunk patrons spilling their drinks over themselves and their surroundings.  The inside was dusty and it looked as though no one had used it for years. 

“Your usual, honey?” Shanks asked, approaching the bar. 

“Please.” 

He smiled at you, “Yes, captain.”

God, he was handsome.

You watched Shanks ordering your drinks from where you stood, looking at his face through the mirror behind the bartender. You pressed your thighs together as a familiar pulsing sensation began coursing through your lower half. You accepted long before this date that it was beyond your control- he was just so handsome. He ran a hand through his hair, winking at you in the mirror. You blew him a kiss and though you couldn’t be sure in the dim light a pale blush seemed to spread over his features. 

“One martini please, with three olives. And a Gin and Glamour.” 

You shot him a look, Gin? You?

“Follow me this way,” the bartender said. 

A smirk settled onto your captain’s face and he beckoned you toward him. 

The bartender opened a tall door that seemed to lead to darkness. 

“Enjoy,” he said. Curiosity had completely taken over and you led the way through the dark hallway, the faint sound of a bass being plucked echoing through, until you reached the end which was covered with a thick velvet curtain. 

You pushed through, Shanks’ hand once again finding itself on your back, though much lower this time. 

Soft, warm light lit up the room. Your eyes immediately jumped to the jazz band in the center illuminated by a red light. “… and in July, a lemonade, to cool you…,” the singer was halfway through "I Wish You Love". There were booths stationed around, with dark mahogany tables and wine-red velvet couches. Several other couples were spread through the bar, the soft buzz of background conversation filling the room. 

“Shanks,” you gasped. 

“You didn’t really think I’d take you to a shitty bar for our first date did ‘ja?” 

“I’m going to choose not to answer,” you smiled, taking his hand in yours. For a split second your attention was taken away from the room you were in and you could only focus on the feeling of your hand in his- his strength apparent even without him trying. 

“Must suck having to be the guy up front, huh?” 

You giggled and pulled him toward an empty booth with a good view of the band, “I’ll say. Though I would like that martini.”

“How ‘bout you go sit and I’ll grab it for you, sweetheart,” he said, gently patting your ass as you turned. 

With your drinks in hand, Shanks sat next to you, pulling you in closer to him. “Looks like we’re the only new couple in here,” he whispered in your ear, gesturing over toward a couple in the middle of a heated makeout session. You smiled at him, your eyes glimmering with mischief, “Hm, wanna try blending in?”

Shanks smiled, catching on to your request. You sipped your martini and bit an olive off of the toothpick that rested in the glass. 

“We’ve kissed before, y’know.”

“We have!? I think I’d remember if we had,” he returned. 

“No, no, we did,” you said, and he gave you a look that begged you to elaborate, “It was a few months back- when we did that stupid drinking contest. We were both pretty drunk, but I’d drank a lot less than you. Anyways, um, everyone had gone to bed or, I dunno, gone to find something else to do and we were left alone on deck. Unsupervised.” 

You wiggled your eyebrows at him earning a laugh. 

“I don’t remember it well, but I remember we laughed after. A lot.”

Shanks was smiling, resting his head on his hand as he gazed up on you. You averted your gaze. 

He moved quickly and by the time you realized what was happening you were already sinking into the kiss, bringing a hand up to grab the collar of his shirt, anything to stabilize yourself. 

Your heart was crawling up your throat, Shanks’ eyes were closed tight and he was clearly trying to savor every moment of the indulgent feeling of your lips against his. It warmed your heart that a man so feared on the open sea was reduced to a gentle, eager mess the moment he kissed you. 

You leaned further into him and his arms wrapped around your waist, his hands palming at your hips. His facial hair tickled and poked your face earning a head-spinning giggle from you. Shanks pulled away, his breaths short and 

“I want to tell you how long I’ve been wanting to do that but apparently this isn’t my first time kissing you,” he said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. 

The jazz band had started a new tune, longer notes and the steady strum of the bass playing a rendition of Waltz for Debby,  further amplifying the intimacy between the two of you. 

“Hopefully you remember this one,” you said smirking at him, “Or do you need a more memorable one?”

“Are you asking to kiss me again? Or do you just want confirmation that you’re a good kisser?”

“I am a good kisser. Better than you, anyway.”

“HA! You don’t even come close!”

“So arrogant, Captain. But I’d love to prove you wrong,” you took another sip of your drink. 

Pinching his cheeks between your fingers you pulled him toward you, this time savoring how he tasted. The bitterness of the whiskey on his lips coated your mouth as you slipped your tongue past his. Shanks’ breathing deepened and his fingertips sunk further into your hips- you could feel where you’d find bruises tomorrow morning. You brought a hand up to softly hold his throat and he moaned-

Oh god, he moaned! 

You pulled away pupils blown and lips puffy. 

Shanks’ cheeks were deep red, a sight that had your ego swelling. 

“You know,” he started, breathless, “I think you may be right.”

You smiled and finished the rest of your drink, “Need more evidence?”

He smiled and pressed a kiss to your forehead, running a hand through your hair.

“As a matter of fact, Y/n, I do.”

It was late when you finally found your way back to the ship. Shanks’ face was covered in red blotches of your smeared lipstick and your lips were equally messy. Your dress strap was falling off of your shoulder and Shanks’ shirt was plenty unbuttoned. 

“Well,” he said, placing a kiss on the back of your hand, “Now you get to choose.”

You raised an eyebrow.

“My bed or yours?”

You laughed and wrapped your hands around his neck to bring him down for another kiss. 

“Yours.”

(whipped!)Crocodile:

“You owe me money, Croc.”

“Let me take you to dinner.” 

He reached for your hand, which you let him take. 

He pressed his lips to it and started to trail kisses up your arm until you stopped him by pushing him off you and taking a seat on his lap. 

“If I go to dinner with you will you give me my money?”

“You’ll get it either way, sweetheart. A job well done is a job well done. I just want to take you out.”

Liar, you thought. 

But still, you took a second to think about it, letting him wrap his arms around your waist and rest his head on your shoulder, kissing your collarbone. 

You were intoxicating to him, completely overwhelming all of his senses. He knew how unprofessional it was to involve himself with the assassins for hire he dealt with but this was now his eighth time working with you and though you always did a fantastic and clean job, the quality of your work wasn’t really the reason he was hiring you anymore. 

“Where would you take me?”

“Desert Point. Or anywhere you wanted, really. I’ll cook for you if you’d like.”

You shifted in his lap, letting your thighs straddle his hips, and looked up at him. 

He pulled out a cigar from his breast-pocket, which you quickly snatched from his hand, “I hate the smell.”

He put a hand up in surrender and placed the cigar back in his pocket. 

Your eyes were focused on him, looking at his lips and trailing a finger up his neck. Your lips pouted as you considered his offer and the smell of your perfume filling every nook and cranny of his office and still, it wasn’t enough for him. He wanted all of you. 

The two of you had, of course, had a handsy encounter or two and you were more than familiar with how he tasted after a long night of office work and whiskey. But, greedy and selfish as ever, the warlord wanted more. He wanted you. In the mornings in his bed, and at night by his side. 

“Alright. You can cook for me, I suppose.” 

He smiled, not even trying to fight the rare display of happiness. 

“Any requests?”

You got up from his lap, batting away his hands which tried to grab you and hold you. 

“Don’t burn anything. I’ll bring a bottle of that whiskey you like,” you said heading open the door to his office, “Tomorrow night at 7.” 

Crocodile leaned back in his chair, savoring the lingering smell of you that had been making it difficult to concentrate for the past week, and waited until the click on your heels was far enough away to call Miss All Sunday and ask that she, “Please cancel all my appointments tomorrow.”

You knew Crocodile’s apartment well, having paid a few unknown visits and a few known ones. The last time you visited was after Crocodile had begged you to stop by for a glass of wine. You ended up drinking closer to five and neither of you could remember anything the morning after. You did, however, take note of the safe in his office where, if Baroque Works intel was anything to go off of, he kept the cash he used to pay black market hires such as yourself. Tonight would be a perfect opportunity to get your money, which you suspected he had no real intention of giving you. 

Dinner had gone well and you found yourself in his office, lounging on his couch. 

A jazz record played softly in the background and you’d both taken off a few layers of clothing. The only lighting was provided by a few candles he’d lit and you sat facing each other, each several glasses of wine in. 

“Stay here for a while,” he said, softly rubbing up and down your leg which you had draped over his lap, “With me.”

“I have work, Croc.”

“I’ll hire you, full-time.”

“No offense to your…. staff, but their work is a bit beneath me.” He laughed, “Then I’ll fund your stay here. You won’t pay for anything.”

This interested you. Staying a week in the nicest apartment on the continent with Crocodile wasn’t such a terrible deal. You swished your wine around in your cup.

“Will you cook?”

“For you? Of course.”

You stared at him and pretended to pass the thought over as he kissed your neck and palmed at your ass.

“Give me a chance to convince you to stay.”

“How do you plan on doing that?”

A smirk settled on his face and he pulled you in for a kiss. 

You indulged him and deepened the kiss, letting your tongue slip past his lips. 

You giggled and sunk into his hold on you, his big hands holding you steady.

“I’ll stay, I’ll stay,” you buried your face into his chest, trying to fight the warmth in your cheeks.

The warlord squeezed you even tighter, earning a bout of laughter from you that placed a smile on his face. 

“This is bad for your image you know. You’re getting soft,” you mused, pressing a kiss to his lips. 

“I promise you I am anything but soft right now.”

“Ha. Ha.”

He wrapped a hand up into your hair, gently pulling back at the base of your neck so he had full access to your neck, and sunk his teeth in biting gently so as not to draw blood but not gently enough to avoid leaving a mark. 

Your back arched into him and you mewled at the feeling, your nails digging into his shoulder. 

He brought your head back up and kissed you.

You brought your hands up to his collar and began undoing his tie, leaving it hanging on his shoulders. 

Slowly and without interrupting the kiss, you began undoing the buttons on his shirt. Crocodile leaned back into the couch to make your job easier and began undoing his belt, which you took from him. 

Crocodile went to bring his hands back up to your neck but- they didn’t move.

He looked down and his belt was fastened around his wrists. He tried to tear it but you’d done a damn good job and he was rendered rather helpless.

You got up and, after placing a soft kiss on his forehead, made your way to the safe behind the painting on the wall. 

“You said you’d stay!”

Not that it was much of a problem for him but Crocodile preferred when things went over smoothly. 

“Did I? Hmmm,” you said, ear to the safe as you turned the dial listening for the telltale click that let you know you unlocked it, “I lied.”

Click! 

“And if I make you stay? This makeshift restraint isn’t sea prism stone.”

You laughed and turned to look at him. 

“Go ahead.”

He scoffed. You both knew well you were the last person on earth he’d ever harm. 

“I’m gonna take my money and then some as a tip, alright? I will miss you though,” you said, making sure his arms were still tied in his lap. 

He couldn’t help but smile as you turned back around to the very empty safe. 

Your stomach dropped. 

“Where is the money-” 

“Like I’d keep it here, sweetheart. Especially not with you coming over.”

“You’re a thief. And a dirty one at that.”

“I’d take more offense if it wasn’t coming from you.”

You huffed and turned to his desk where you were quickly opening and closing drawers looking for where he’d moved the money. 

“Come and finish your wine, Y/n.”

“It isn’t here, is it? You’re a liar and a thief,”

He stayed silent and gestured toward your spot on the couch, a satisfied smirk settled on his infuriatingly handsome face. 

“Crocodile…” you warned, “I think you know better than to not pay me.”

He smiled, as though daring you to continue. Or what? the expression on his face begged. 

“Stay the week with me,” he said as you approached, “Please.”

You took your seat next to him and looking down at his hands noted the very significant absence of a belt tied around them. Your heartbeat picked up as he used a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.  

“You’re good, sweetness, but I’m better.”

You sighed and let him kiss you, reluctantly leaning into his touch. 

“You’ll stay the week.”

You nodded and were upset at yourself for feeling excited at the thought. You felt like a schoolgirl holding her crush’s hand. 

“Shall we go to bed then?”

He smiled and picked you up princess-style, one arm around your waist and one under your knees.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed a kiss on his cheek, “If you keep this game going you’ll end up having to marry me, you know.”

He smiled, his most sincere smile of the night. 

“Ah, wouldn’t that be terrible?” 

[mncxbe]

𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐞'𝐬 𝐝𝐚𝐲

𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: bsd, csm, headcanons fluff n smut♡

𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: since Vday will be here soon I wanted to do a little something♡ hope you like it babes

ღೀ๋࣭ ⭑ ღೀ๋࣭ ⭑ ღೀ๋࣭ ⭑

𝐃𝐚𝐳𝐚𝐢

sneaky bastard. he pretends to forget about Valentine's day just to see your cute pout– "aww bella didn't know you cared so much about this silly little day. fine, fine, you got me. I did get you a gift"

totally gets you a very thoughtful gift and writes you a letter. he's really not good at expressing his feelings through words, so letters have to do

he wakes up early so he can pick fresh flowers for you from the park. I really think Dazai isn't the type to buy you tacky bouquets. and of course he makes you breakfast in bed– "rise and shine, beautiful. I made you your favourite." he'd purr, placing a plate of hot blueberry pancakes in front of you "dig in, we have plans today"

definitely skips work so he can spend time with you, but he eventually has to go to the Ada office after Kunikida threatens to fire him. don't worry tho, he'll make up for the lost time when he comes back home in the evening

that night he's more gentle than usual, making sure that you enjoy yourself. after all the day is all about you and he's going to do his best to please you– "Ah fuck 'donna you're doing so well. you like it? s-sure hope you do angel 'm gonna make you cum f'me alright? atta girl..."

𝐂𝐡𝐮𝐮𝐲𝐚

he's such a gentleman omg

because of his job, he can't be there with you when you wake up, but you can be sure he's going to leave you a romantic note on the nightstand

he sends you flowers and expensive praline boxes at work just to make sure that your female colleagues envy you–"everyone needs to know how well i treat my pretty girl, right baby?"

in the evening he finally gets the chance to give you the rest of his gifts: lingerie, expensive perfumes and of course, his affections and undivided attention♡

a candle lit, bubble bath with a glass of wine is mandatory. you lay in his arms, your back flush against his chest while he plays with your hair, whispering the sweetest things in your ear "i love you, pretty girl. i'm glad that you're mine never forget that"

𝐀𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐰𝐚

sweet boy, he's so confused and overwhelmed

he doesn't really understand the whole point of Valentine's day but he wantes to make the day special for you

he plans it weeks ahead, asking Chuuya for advice. i see him talking to Gin about what gifts he could give you; she's his sister after all, she must know what a girl wants

Akutagawa buys you books for Valentine's day. a book-bouquet to be more specific and makes you dinner at home

please show him that you care and appreciate his efforts. he's super anxious about it– "You mean it was nice? you enjoyed yourself with me, right? oh thank god"

after dinner, he wouldn't mind getting down to some more intimate activities♡ if you want that ofc. once he's back in your arms with his face buried in the crook of your neck as he fucks you slowly, he finally manages to relax, all worries seeping out of him "My angel... I-I love you so much ah fuck- please never leave me" yea, he gets very emotional

𝐅𝐮𝐤𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢

he straight up forgets about Valentine's day, it's just not a priority for him and no matter how many times you try to hint at it he doesn't get it

he's confused when he sees you pouting and doesn't really understand what's wrong? but once he gets to work Teruko tells him that it's Valentine's day he's so mad at himself.

ofc he tries to make up for it in the evening when he gets home from work

he brings you a bouquet of roses (one of the pre-made ones y'all know what i'm talking about💀) but it's the thought that counts and apologises for forgetting– "i'm sorry sweetheart, didn't mean to upset you, ya know? i had a lot on my plate lately and it just slipped my mind. c'mon baby don't be mad"

he doesn't drop it until you accept his apology. if you're up for it he takes you out to dinner at the most expensive place in town♡

𝐊𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐛𝐞

man... where do i even start

he doesn't get the point of it either, just sees the day as an opportunity to spend time with his beloved♡

despite his cold demeanour, Kishibe's a real thoughtful person. he doesn't buy you any overly expensive gifts but he picks flowers for you probably sneaks some from the cemetery too

if you wanna do something special he's totally down for it– "Hm? You wanna go have dinner at that new place in town? Sure, dear, I'll book us a table don't worry about it."

he's not very affectionate either but once you two are back home, in the comfort of your apartment, his tongue loosens a bit–"Ya know, princess, you're one of the best things that happened to me. thank you, really. why're you laughing, i'm serious. you know i don't joke about matters of the heart"

𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥 𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥

you probably have to explain the concept of Valentine's day to him

Angel's too lazy to plan anything for the two of you so you have to settle for ordering takeout and watching a movie

lets you cuddle him if you insist enough and make sure that every inch of your skin is covered so he doesn't accidentally drain your lifespan

hear me out now. stargazing with him >>

he's the happiest man on earth if you gift him a pack of ice cream cones or some flowers. he's definitely the type to press them just because they're a gift from you and he treasures every little thing you do for him, even if he doesn't always show it

[somanyratsinthewalls]

A Little Funny Business (+18)

Pairing: Buggy x Afab!Reader

WC: 3760

Summary: As a Warlord, you’re always being invited to prestigious Marine Events. With your insatiable sexual appetite, you use these events as a hunting ground for your next prey, and tonight you’re feeling a bit… silly. 

Warnings: Bisexual cunty BFF Mihawk, Alcohol consumption, Face Sitting (HONK), Oral Sex (m and f receiving), Inappropriate use of Devil Fruit Powers, nervous Bugs, Missionary, unprotected sex (bad idea!), cream pie (worse idea!), spitting, multiple orgasms, porn with a lot of plot for no reason. 

*authors note* I saw someone ask a few weeks ago for more fics about Buggy being a huge loser and I was a little inspired by that LOL he's such a dork wow

MINORS DNI YOU WILL BE BLOCKED

——

“And why do I need to come to this again? I have much better things to be doing than rubbing elbows with those fools.” Dracule ‘Hawkeye’ Mihawk was lounging in your parlor chair with his  boots kicked up on the glass coffee table, the large glass of red wine you had offered him swirling in his hand. He was your best… friend? As a fearsome pirate, no one had friends, per se, but he was probably the closest thing you had other than your own crew. 

“Because…” You emphasize while you throw on one of your dresses from behind your changing curtain. “I’m in the mood for a romp and if I can’t find someone I think can satisfy me tonight, I might as well bring along ole reliable.” You peek over the top of the curtain and shoot him a wink. Over the years you’ve known each other, you and Mihawk realized that you have incredible sexual compatibility but the thought of being in a committed relationship repulsed you both. 

Mihawk rolls his eyes at you. 

“For future reference, it’s not sexy to tell a man that he’s your second choice.” He smirked as he sipped his wine. He was indifferent, he just liked to poke fun at you. “So who do you have your eyes on, then? Another Admiral?” He teased.

You scoff as you exit the curtain in a red plunging, halter, backless gown with a slit up nearly to your hip. “After Aokiji? No way. His hands were so cold I felt like I was the the doctor’s office.” You give Mihawk a twirl, gesticulating at your dress. “Thoughts?” 

Mihawk takes another sip of his wine. 

“You look like a whore.” He smiles slightly and quirks up an eyebrow at your body. You turn around to face yourself in the mirror. You grin. 

“Perfect.”

— — 

Upon docking your ship at the upper-class Marine town where the ball was being held, you slipped on your jacket and heels and made your way to the banquet hall. You made sure to arrive fashionably late, to make your presence known once most of the attendees have already gotten comfortable in their cups. 

“Miss Y/n, I can take your coat, please allow me.” A dinky little pink-haired Marine Cadet gently shuffled your coat off your now bare shoulders. 

“Aren’t you cute, thank you dear. Keep it warm for me, hey?” With a wink you slipped a one-thousand berry note into his uniform pocket. 

“Y-y-y-yes! Of course, Miss! M-m-my pleasure!” The young cadet sputters out while hurrying off to hang your coat. 

You square your shoulders as you saunter into the extravagant banquet hall filled with important men and women. The hall had vaulted ceilings with beautiful skylights and the walls were adorned with gold appliqué and candelabras. You feel the eyes of many on you as you stroll towards the bar. 

“A gin martini please, up, extra dirty.” The bartender nods at you and begins mixing your cocktail. You reach into your purse for your pocket mirror and lipstick and reapply the gorgeous shade of red that matches your dress. After stowing your cosmetics, your drink was ready so you reach out and touch the martini glass. 

“Really? The Marines can’t even spring for chilled glasses?” You furrow your brow at how cheap the government organization had gotten lately. You hear a low chuckle from the man next to you. 

“Allow me.” You hear him say. Suddenly, as if by magic, a frost of ice begins to form from the bottom of your glass to the very top. Realizing who was standing beside you at the bar, you smile. 

“I wondered where you’d made off to. You never called me back, you know.” Admiral Aokiji looks down at you. 

“I do know. It’s nothing personal, Admiral, but keep frosting these glasses for me and I might just change my mind.” You wink and stroll back to the rest of the party with your drink. 

After scanning the crowd you see Mihawk seated at a table with a few others. He was hard to miss… he just had to bring that eyesore of a weapon everywhere. You take the seat next to him and put your drink on the table. 

“I miss anything good yet? Did the fishmen get here? They always make it weird.” You question Mihawk. 

“No, painfully boring as expected.” Mihawk swigs from his drink. “At least it’s an open bar. Have you found your ‘soup of the day’ yet?” He inquires about your hunt for your next sexual conquest. You laugh out loud at his phrasing. 

“Hah! Not yet. Old man Garp looks kind of nice lately though…” You say looking over your left shoulder at the vice-admiral who was paying attention only to the roving stewards with trays of meat-heavy appetizers. Mihawk crinkles up his nose slightly. 

“He looks like he bites. Not in a good way.” The two of you make eye contact then snort into your drinks trying to hold in your laughter. 

“Ah, my friends! What a pleasure to see you both!” A booming voice caused both you and Mihawk to turn around in your chairs. A massively tall, blonde, sunglasses-clad man was sidling your way. 

“Oh gods, why him? I thought for sure he wouldn’t make it…” Mihawk whispers as he takes a huge gulp of his drink. 

“Ugh.” You turn back towards the table, hoping he would just go away. 

“Is that any way to greet an old pal?” DonQuixote Doflamingo laughs as he muscles his way in-between the two of you. 

“Doflamingo.” You beam up at him with the fakest smile you could muster. You extend a limp hand which he takes in his much larger one. He licks his lips before he kisses it. “Couldn’t be bothered leaving that gaudy thing at the coat check?” You nod your chin towards his ridiculous hot pink jacket. Doflamingo chortles. 

“Always such a charmer, y/n. What does a King have to do for you to join them in his bedchambers tonight?” He licks his lips again. Still smiling at him widely, you respond. 

“When I say that I would rather cover a sea cucumber in sandpaper and-“

Doflamingo leans over you, trying to intimidate you. 

“You’re rejecting me? You must think I won’t kill every single one in here and then-“ 

Mihawk rises and pushes a hand against Doflamingo’s massive chest. 

“Wait until she has a few more martinis. She’s much more… adventurous. Speaking from experience… friend.” Mihawk dispels the situation with ease. Doflamingo huffs and heads off to converse with some Marine Higher-Ups. 

“He’s going to actually kill you one day, you know.” 

“I’d rather fight him than fuck him. He’s insufferable and you know it. Fucking bird brain.” You snap at Mihawk as you take the last sip of your drink. You notice Mihawk’s drink is empty as well. “Get me another drink, will you love?” You smile sweetly at the swordsman. 

“You’re lucky I can’t say no to you.” Mihawk grabs your empty glasses and leaves for the bar. You take this opportunity to scan the ballroom for potential lovers or anyone interesting enough to even have a conversation with. You were starting to regret even coming… when you overhear two marine captains chatting near you.  

“Who invited that guy?”

“Bro he’s a warlord now, can you believe that?”

“No way… he’s so… lame?”

This piqued your interest. You looked in the direction they were gesturing in. There was a man who had just arrived at the event, one you had yet to meet in person. This gentleman was wearing a slightly dirty orange fur jacket with a matching giant, orange pirate hat adorned with blue and green. What you noticed immediately, though, was his large, round, red nose. 

“Buggy the clown, nice to meet ya. It’s me, Buggy, the clown. The Genius Jester, Buggy the Clown, yes that’s me. Captain Buggy, pleasure to meet ya.” The silly looking man was shaking hands like he was running for office. It was corny and he was clearly out of place. You found yourself smiling at his awkward behavior. After pandering to the crowd, the clown eventually seated himself at a table across the room with a glass of whiskey. 

“Your martini, my lady, just the way you like it.” Mihawk returns with a new martini for you, unfortunately not chilled. 

“Thanks. Say, what do you know about the circus guy?” You nod in Buggy’s direction.

“Oh him? We have an old mutual friend. He’s an idiot. Everything good that’s ever happened to him he’s stumbled ass-backwards into it. I give it a week or two as a warlord before someone’s killed him for his spot.” Mihawk explains. 

“Interesting. I’ll be back.” You stride towards Buggy’s table at the opposite end of the ballroom. Without asking or saying anything, you take a seat right beside the clown. 

“Hi.” You lean on your elbow on the table with your head tilted to the side. 

“O-oh, Hi! You’re uh- um- y/n!” The clown stutters out, startled by your sudden appearance next to him. 

“Mhmm…. And you’re Buggy… Captain Buggy.” You look into his sea-glass colored eyes. 

“Y-yes! I am Captain Buggy the Clown. A powerful warlord of the sea!” He nervously chokes out at you.  You giggle. 

“Yeah, me too. So…” You draw circles on the table with your finger. “What brings you to some stuffy Marine function like this one? Doesn’t really seem like your speed.”

“Uh… The free food and booze, honestly.” 

You laugh. Buggy’s posture becomes less stiff and uncomfortable. 

“I’m glad we’re here for similar reasons, Mr. Clown.” You raise your martini glass in his direction. Buggy raises his whiskey and clinks his glass to yours. 

“Please, y/n, call me Buggy. Mr. Clown was my father.” 

Maybe it was the gin talking, but you found yourself laughing out loud at his stupid joke. You both finish your drinks after your toast. 

“Hey, y/n… wanna see a card trick?” Buggy pulls a crusty old deck of cards out of his coat pocket and starts shuffling them. Your eyes widen, not expecting this man to be fully committed to the clown bit. 

“Fuck it, show me.” 

Several minutes of shuffling and slight-of-hand go by before the clown pulls a Queen of Hearts out the deck. 

“Is this your card?” He raises an eyebrow at you. 

“No fucking shit!” You slam your hands on the table, genuinely impressed that he had picked your card. 

“Hah Hah! Told ya!” Buggy laughs as he finishes his drink. You notice his empty glass. 

“Let me get you another drink. Don’t go anywhere.” You wink as you grab your glasses and turn towards the bar. After ordering and receiving your two drinks, you spy Mihawk at the end of the bar facing outward. 

“So, how’s the plight of the huntress going? Anyone that you-“ He starts as he brings his drink to his lips, but you cut him off. 

“I’m going to fuck the clown.” You say with a deadpan expression. 

“Gods, y/n, what?” Mihawk chokes out after he spits out his drink. 

“Yep. See you!” You don’t give Mihawk a chance to criticize your choice before you walk off. You bring the drinks back to the blue-haired clown and sit down, pulling your chair close to his as you sit. 

“Thanks!” Buggy takes a big gulp of his drink, noticing that your knees are now touching his. “So… uh… y/n? I gotta ask… with all these big wigs here… why are ya talking to me all night?” 

You sense his insecurities. Cute, you thought. 

“Well, Buggy,” You emphasize his name. “Unlike you, I am not new to this game. And since I am not new to this game, frankly, I am bored. All these stuck up, no-fun, corporate dickheads make for a very boring party.” You grab his hand that’s clutching his drink on the table. “You however…” You stroke your thumb along the back of his glove. You could see a drop of sweat slide down his temple. “You are fun. I like fun.” 

Buggy giggles nervously.

“Heh, well, uh, t-thank you. You’re… you’re f-fun too…” He uses his free gloved hand to rub the back of his neck. 

“Do you wanna see how much fun I can be, Captain Buggy?” You cock your head to the side and place your other hand on his knee. Buggy’s eyes blow so wide you thought he had seen a ghost. 

“I-… I- Um… Ah!” He jolts as you slide your hand up his thigh, further trying to get your point across. 

“Want to come back to my ship with me, Buggy?” You lean and whisper in his ear. 

“Yes! Of course I do! Now? Can we go now?” He stands up. You laugh. 

“Follow me, funny guy.” 

— —

Buggy follows you all the way back to your ship like a lovesick puppy. Trailing behind you and asking you all kinds of questions and oversharing about himself. You board your ship and lead him into your luxurious captain’s quarters and close the door behind you both. 

“Wow it’s really nice in here, y/n! Who does your…-mmph!” Buggy is cut off by your lips smashing against his as you push him against the closed door. 

You wrap your arms around the back of his neck and kiss him deeper. You feel smooth gloved hands wrap around your waist as he finally kisses you back once the shock wore off. Your lips move slowly together at first. Buggy is awkwardly trying to find a rhythm, but after a few moments he feels confident enough to walk you backwards and push you both onto your plush pink comforter. Now laying down, you wrap your legs around his hips, effectively hiking your dress up and exposing your panties to him. Buggy pulls back breathlessly and looks down at you. 

“Uh, so, uh… I-I don’t do this a lot… A-Are you sure you want to-?” His brows are furrowed and his eyes are full of uncertainty. 

You bring your hands up and remove his hat and tossing it to the floor, smoothing his long blue hair off to one side. 

“Buggy. I want you. Please.” With your last plead, you bucked your hips upward to grind into his hardened bulge. Buggy’s eyes rolled into the back of his head. 

“Fuck! Okay, okay, okay- let’s get this thing off you, hey?” Hurriedly, Buggy lifts your already hiked up dress over your head leaving you fully exposed except for a red lace thong with a little wet patch right over your hole. His eyes dart from your naked breasts to your long legs to your clothed sex, before you snapped him out of it. 

“I think you have too many clothes on.” You jump up and slide his jacket off of his shoulders and then lift his shirt off his head as he takes off his trousers and boots. Not wearing underwear (you smirk at this realization) he was now naked in front of you. You grab his face with both hands and pull him into a passionate kiss. He falls on top of you again. But during your heated make out, you roll him over so that you’re on top, grinding your lace covered cunt against his hard cock. 

“Y-y/n! Ah!” Buggy moans out lewdly, and he isn’t even inside of you yet. Perhaps knowing he wouldn’t last long once he feels your warm insides sucking him in, he pleads with you.

“Let me taste you, please, y/n. Wanna make you feel good on me…” He was so desperate, it was so cute. You giggle.

“Aww, you’re so cute, Buggy. Of course I’ll let you have a taste. Now open wide baby…” You shuffle your way up to his face and straddle it with your body facing the headboard. You grip your panties and push them forcefully to the side, exposing your slick pussy mere millimeters above Buggy’s waiting mouth. You fully seat yourself down on his face, knowing he could take it. He was a warlord now, after all. 

“Mmmpph!” Buggy swirls his tongue experimentally around your slit, groaning at the sinful taste. He laps and sucks up and down your cunt until he eventually finds your clit, eliciting a loud moan from you when he slurps it between his lips. 

“Fuck, there!” You throw your head back in pleasure as the man below you learns what turns you on and how to bring you to that edge. “Just like that, fuck! Keep going!” He enthusiastically licks at your clit harder with your praise. He moves to slip his tongue into your hole, you sigh out and wind your hands in his hair below you. Instinctively, you push your cunt onto his face, trying to force his tongue deeper into you when you hear-

HONK!

You gasp as all motions on your sex stop and you look down. Nervous, anxious eyes look back up at you from between your legs.

“Buggy… baby…” 

“Y/n I-“

“Baby that’s so hot.” You were panting down at him. His expression became one of even more confusion. “I want more. Do it again.”

Buggy was in shock. There’s no way you were really saying his nose was… sexy? It was turning you on? You had to be joking. There’s no way that you-

Buggy’s thoughts were cut off by you pushing your pussy down onto his mouth again, whining and begging for more of his tongue. 

HONK!

“Please baby? Make me cum on that handsome face of yours.” You gasp out as he resumes his ministrations on your swollen clit. You close your eyes and moan loudly. You feel two hands massaging at your breasts, and you snap your eyes open to see two disembodied hands at your chest. 

“Shit, yes! I’m gonna- ah!” 

With a final pinch of your nipples and a harsh suck to your clit, your orgasm rips through your body and you shriek out and grab the headboard in front of you for balance. Shudders of pleasure still radiate through your body as you hear Buggy’s hands reattach to his body and he pulls you down onto the bed with him. He cradles your face and kisses you deeply. You moan at the taste of your release on his lips. 

Buggy pulls back from the kiss. 

“D-Do ya still want to-?” Buggy asked, hesitantly, like he didn’t just let you ride his face. 

“Gods, yes. Fuck me.” You sighed as you slipped your panties all the way off and laid back on the bed with your legs spread. You were wiped from your orgasm, but your hole was still aching to be filled by the clown. He climbs on top of you and smiles a wicked smile. 

“Get it nice and wet for me first, kay?”

Suddenly you feel something velvety and hard tap against the side of your mouth. You glance down and see Buggy’s detached cock prodding at your kiss-bitten lips. You mindlessly obey and open your mouth and allow Buggy to slide it onto your tongue hands (and body) free. You wrap your lips around his shaft and try to suck it in as far as it will go down your throat. 

“W-wow doll, you really are somethin’!” Feeling himself already losing it at your cock-hungry expression, he pulls himself from your lips and attaches his spit-soaked cock back to his body, positioned at your dripping hole. 

“Just fuck me already, Buggy!” You grab his ass and push his hips into yours. He gets the message and swiftly bottoms out inside of you, the sloppy wetness of your saliva and arousal making it easy to slip right in. His long blue locks are splayed over his bare shoulders that stutter as he tries to compose himself now that he’s fully buried in your hot sex. You groan out, finally feeling him fill you. 

“FUCK, y/n!” Buggy leans forward and bites deeply into your neck, still trying to steel himself. Thinking this would keep him from cumming immediately, it had the opposite effect. When you felt his teeth in your neck, your cunt clenched on him so tight that it triggered his orgasm. Buggy’s eyes roll back and he muffles his moan. He can’t let you know that he came so early. 

Fighting overstimulation, he shallowly starts thrusting his hips into yours. Buggy whimpers at the feeling of his oversensitive cock gliding through your slippery, now cum-coated walls. 

“Harder, fuck me harder, PLEASE!” You were begging him to rail you, and he knew he had to give it to you. Hearing you plead made him fully hard again immeasurably quickly. Buggy places one hand on your hip and angles himself to thrust upwards inside your cunt. 

“That’s so good baby, please, right there just like that, you’re doing so good for me.” You slid your left hand down and rubbed your clit in tight circles. 

“Fuck, let me…” Buggy slaps your hand away to replace it with one of his now detached hands. He slows down his thrusts enough to drop a glob of spit down onto your clit and start rubbing it himself. 

“Bugs, fuck! Gonna cum! Ah, shit… yes!” You jolt upwards and waves of pleasure start overtaking your body. Buggy fucks you through your orgasm and picks up his pace. He attaches his hand and now places both hands on your hips to slam you onto his cock at a breakneck speed.

“Gonna fucking make you mine…. All mine…”

“Ah- yes- yours- fuck-“ You sputter out incoherently as you bounce back and forth against the bed on Buggy’s cock. 

“There it is baby… yes-!… ” Buggy slams his hips into yours deeply and empties himself for a second time inside of you tonight. After catching his breath in the crook of your neck, Buggy rolls off of you and lays his head on the pillow next to yours. You both make eye contact and start laughing. 

Buggy eventually rolls his body into a sitting position and rises from the bed. He begins picking up his belongings and tries pulling his shirt over his head. You sit up and look at him, while pulling the blankets over your body. 

“You’re not staying?” You inquire of your clown lover. 

“I-I wasn’t… I mean I wasn’t invited to sleep- sleep over? You know? I didn’t want to-“ He stutters out, his shirt on, dick still out in front of you. You giggle and flop back on the bed. 

“Get in here. I may be tired now, but I might want to see what else those chop-chop powers can do in the morning.” 

Buggy strips his shirt again and hops under the covers with you. 

“Doll, you haven’t even seen the half of it.”

xx 

[ww2yaoi]

funny/interesting anecdotes from parachute infantry:

web's head was shaved for the normandy jump

web slamming the entire package of air sickness pills in an attempt to completely numb himself from what was going on on d-day

the whole spiel about how colonel sink didn't want any of the paratroopers to be caught dead wearing these woollen hats without their helmets on because it was undignified for whatever reason and the generals would ream him about it. and web being like we're jumping into german-occupied france why are you talking about what hats we can't wear

web getting transferred from hq company because he was bored and wanted to see more action but then of course complaining every time he was in combat

the entire saga of web's hatred for lieutenant peacock. in holland, peacock made web sweep out his quarters while the enlisted men slept outside in holes. web then proceeds to dream about beating peacock with a broom/fantasize about shooting him

also: web saying the only thing him and peacock ever had in common was diarrhea

in hagenau, johnny martin almost got web and a few others killed when he called in an artillery strike way too close to the house they were holed up in and they nearly got blown up

just so much alcohol consumption. luz driving like a maniac and web raiding the berghof's cellar in berchtesgaden. web being disappointed that all hitler had was wine and champagne and no hard liquour

web being really drunk when grant was shot and barely making it out to the road to guard it in case the offending replacement showed up

the whole saga with speirs' mercedes. speirs confiscated this german car in austria but then colonel strayer wanted the car so speirs proceeded to shoot out the windshield then drive the thing off a cliff (he bailed just in time)

web being super drunk in front of speirs and embarrassing himself. then being a complete mess during ceremonial retreat and getting yelled at

stealing like 50 bottles of german gin from some factory

showing up at regimental headquarters to see about his points muddy and soaked from the rain and getting scolded by colonel sink (who he was dreaming about meeting one-on-one the entire war) for wearing fatigues in the building

there's probably more i've forgotten but boy what a book

[angelrari]

gossip girl · pt. xiv

based on the tv series gossip girl

max verstappen / charles leclerc x socialité!reader

fc: elsa hosk (y/n) · taylor hill (léa) · barbara palvin (jolie)

a/n: hi!! thank you so much for leaving comments and supporting this!! i hope you enjoy this new part!! ps. I APOLOGIZE BEFOREHAND PLEASE DON'T HATE ME and i haven't proofread it so i'm sorry if there are any mistakes🤍

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· · · · ·

gossip girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of monaco's elite.

yourusername

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yourusername 🤎

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joliedebelle the prettiest

pierregasly don't take too long lando's already on his third mojito🏃

yourusername we're on our way i swear!!

yourusername @/landonorris don't get drunk without me

landonorris it might be too late, but you know i am always up for another round of shots🤠

username ngl her and max are cute, but i still don't trust her

username get a life!!

· · · · ·

the lights of the club were blinding and the music was way too loud to hear what the people around you were saying. max held your hand as he moved around the dancing bodies, trying to get to the vip section on the club. you had spotted your sister jolie, who was talking with the youngest of the leclerc brothers. next to her, you could see pierre, alex and yuki who were laughing about something the latter had said.

"look who has arrived!". daniel screamed as you entered the vip section, catching everyone's attention. "how did the date go?".

"hey mate, it was good. how was dinner?". max asked referring to the meal some drivers had enjoyed to celebrate the end of the season.

"it was great". daniel replied. "we missed you, mate".

"you know, i had other priorities". max replied, giving you a quick glance. "but we're here to celebrate".

as you looked around, you saw pierre, who kept making gestures telling you to sit with him and charles. you squeezed max's hand to his attention and he looked at you.

"i'm gonna go and talk to pierre, okay?". you said and he nodded.

"yeah". he replied, as he leaned to give you a quick peck. "let me know if you need anything or if you want to head back to the hotel".

charles was staring at the scene happening before his eyes. the brown dress you were wearing was driving him insane and he could not help but wonder how max could keep his hands to himself. if he had been in his position, he knows damn well you would not have made it to the club.

"hi pierre". you said and he looked up to meet your eyes. "hi charles".

"you look gorgeous, y/n". pierre said, as you sat down next to the monegasque. "how's max treating you?".

"can't complain, he's a kind man". you replied. "how was your dinner? did you guys have fun?".

"yeah". pierre answered. "but the wine was terrible".

"y/n, what do you want to drink?". charles interrupted your conversation with pierre. "i'm about to go to ask the bartender for one more gin-tonic and i'll bring you whatever you want".

"i'll come". you said and charles smiled at you. "i'm not sure of what i want, i need to see what they offer here".

charles led the way to the bar, passing by your boyfriend, who could not stop himself from staring at you. max had never been the jealous type, but something about charles made him have his guard up. he watched as the monegasque placed his hand on your back to lead you, how he leaned in to talk to you, how you smiled widely back at him whenever he made a joke and it made his blood boil. he could only observe as you took a sip of charles' drink, when he stroke your leg when you accidentally hit the counter and you complained about it and when he asked you to dance and you agreed.

the chemistry of two ex-lovers was still there and max envied that. he could not say anything, he did not want you to know he felt this way. it was the first time, since you started dating, that he realized he was scared to lose you. and for nearly two long hours, max had to swallow the bitterness of the feelings caused by seeing his girlfriend have fun with her ex.

"who's that?". lance asked as a brunette girl entered the vip section.

max recognized her instantly and he thought the night could not get any worse. léa blanc, who used to be your best friend years before and who also was charles' ex-partner, was walking straight to you.

your heartbeat skipped a beat when you noticed léa was here. you felt the anxiety creeping in and a million questions clouded your mind. what the hell was she doing here? somehow you felt like you have been caught red-handed and you were sure léa would misinterpret everything.

charles, who saw your smile drop, turned around to see what had made your expression change like that in just one second. léa looked gorgeous, she was wearing a little black dress and some leather black boots that made everyone around her stop and stare at her. but in that moment that did not matter to charles. he could feel a lump in his throat as his ex confidently approached the two of you with a mischievous smile on her face.

"can i borrow charles for a minute?". léa asked you as she placed a hand on his shoulder.

"what are you doing here?". you defensively asked.

"it's none of your business".

"y/n". max, who was now on your side, said as he grabbed your hand. "let's go".

· · · · ·

leablanc

liked by charles_leclerc, gossipgirl and 112.215 others

leablanc martinis taste better in abu dhabi.

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username PAUSE WHAT'S GOING ON WHY IS SHE IN ABU DHABI

username are charles and léa back?

username they never said they broke up 🤷

username CHARLES LIKED THE POST

username she's in her reputation era

liked by leablanc

· · · · ·

the silence between the max and you was louder than ever. max sat down on the sofa in front of you, trying to organize his thoughts, but the blood was boiling in his veins and he could not calm down. you paced around the room, unaware of max's feelings. the anxiety and the questions clouded your mind.

"i don't get it". you said frustrated. "why would léa be here?".

"why does it bother you?". max coldly asked.

"because the last time i saw her she acted like a bitch towards me?". you replied. "i'm pretty sure you were around when that happened".

"are you sure it's because of that?"

"what do you mean?". you asked as you stared at him. "of course it's because of that".

"sure". he replied bitterly and you frowned.

"what is wrong, max?"

"i think you're jealous of her". he spat out.

"you can't be serious".

"you spent nearly two hours with charles before she came. two. hours". he emphasized.

"and that doesn't mean anything!". you said as you dropped your arms in the air. "he's my friend, max".

"bullshit".

"so what does it mean then?". you said. "fuck, max. we have had this conversation before, i have asked you if you were bothered by it and you said you weren't. you know i have chosen you over him, so i don't get why are getting so defensive now. fuck, max, i love you-".

"doesn't feel like it".

those four words made your heart drop and shatter into pieces. you stood up as the tears threatened to fall from your eyes as you stared at him. max knew he had messed it up the moment those words had left his lips. he quickly grabbed your arm, making you turn around and look at him. his heart broke when he saw the disappointed look on his face.

"fuck, i am sorry". he apologized as he placed hand on your cheek. quickly, you brushed it off. "i didn't mean it like that".

"max, leave me alone".

"we need to talk about this".

"we do, but not now". you said. "please let me go, i don't want to do this right now".

"fuck, y/n, i am sorry, i swear i didn't mean it like that".

"it doesn't feel like it".

· · · · ·

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taglist: @cha-hot @carlandonorri-s @raizelchrysanderoctavius @drunkinthemiddleoftheday @crlsummer @f1mockingjay @ssararuffoni @au-ghosttype @jointhehunt67 @amalialeclerc @lazybot @kimmchijjajang @roseseraj @ponkaniee @champagneproblems17 @starshapedb0x @aundercover @lqvesoph @coffeewhore18 @coolio2195 @crazysaladchopshop @mirrorball-6 @nataliambc @scenesofobx @stopeatread @woozarts @spaghetittied @inloveallthetime @f1mockingjay @smnthnclj @ironmaiden1313 @d3kstar @kapsylia @toalltheboyswhowastedmytime

let me know if you want to be exlcuded from the taglist!

[sjyuns]

🗒️ 、 SUGARCOAT

bad boy heeseung x fem reader 1036 words warnings cursing genre fluff listen sugarcoat ( natty ) mikaela’s note sorry for the spam, i’m clearing drafts

There are 171,476 words in the english language, but you could never string any of them together to explain how much you wanted to hit Lee Heeseung with a chair, against his head (hopefully splitting it open). Because he’s being extremely difficult at the moment — not like he ever was not.

“Can you not shut up for one fucking minute? You’re giving me a headache,” you groan, eyes rolling before you shoot a sharp glare at the purple haired boy, “just because a blueberry vomited on your head, doesn’t give you the right to be a whiny brat.”

He scoffs, and takes a step closer to you, eyes trailing from your eyes to your lips. It distracts you — his gaze, and you can feel your body heat up. He’s attractive; with his bambi eyes that held a contrasting devilish stare that hypnotises, his tall figure, muscular build, and that dark purple hair of his, which you hate to admit, suited him so well.

Heeseung looked like a corrupt angel, almost supernaturally handsome, and he was unnervingly unforgettable.

The task at hand long forgotten as you held his dead stare, and you cursed him in your mind over and over again. Who knew that one simple agreement to meet your father’s coworker’s family would lead you to him — the absolute bane of your existence.

“Hate me so much, sweetheart? The door’s right there,” he smirks, crystal eyes like gin and as pretty as sin, “leave, and you lose.” And it was like he knew what irked you because you weren’t ever one to back down from a challenge, even more if you were losing to Lee Heeseung, who only in your third time meeting him, managed to wring out every single drop of patience in your being. “Called it that you won’t ever be able to handle me.”

You heave a burdened sigh, eye filtering through the different stores in the empty mall, before fixing your eyes on the arcade. Without a second thought, you reach out to grab his hand, your eyes doe as you give him a sharp glare, as if challenging him to go against you.

“You need me here, Lee Heeseung, or how will you ever prove to your parents that you’re a so-called changed man,” you grin, pulling him over to a claw machine situated at the entrance of the arcade.

There’s an unexplainable feeling sitting uncomfortably in Heeseung’s chest as he stares at your figure; you were the kind of girl boys would swoon over, with silky hair, bedroom eyes, and cheeks like wine, your beauty was intimidating yet you smelt like white roses and had a voice of honey. And he thinks that as much as you’re different from the other girls he’s been with, he won’t think of you, he wouldn’t allow himself to.

“Get me that doll,” you say blandly, finger pressing against the glass casing of the claw machine as you point to a deer soft toy.

Heeseung scoffs at your demanding tone, “a deer?” he questions, eyebrows knitted together, “didn’t think you’d like deers, thought you’d be more of a cat person.”

The nerve of this boy, you think, face morphing into one of judgement, “what do you even know about me, Lee?” you say, watching Heeseung’s eyes glisten with competitiveness as he fixated on the small brown soft toy. “Plus, it kind of looks like you.”

“Ew, you think I'm cute?” He throws out and you’re shocked at his narcissism.

“No, it’s ugly. You’re ugly,” you reply, and god is that a big fat lie. Because the last word you’d use to describe Lee Heeseung, with his egotistical personality sugarcoated in glorified looks would be ‘ugly’.

He smirks as he bends down, face excruciatingly close to yours as his sinfully intoxicating aura encases you, “really sweetheart?” he asks, before his gaze drops down to your lips, “then why are you so red?”

Your palms push against his chest, eyes darting everywhere but Heeseung’s face which held a winner’s smirk, “just get me the fucking toy,” you mutter. He chuckles softly at your embarrassed state before he shifts his focus back onto clawing the soft toy.

And you aren’t surprised that it takes him less than three tries to successfully grab it — in fact you weren’t ever surprised at Heeseung’s excellence, because you knew that despite the arrogance that lined him, he was talented.

“Happy?” Heeseung questions as he looks at your elated expression, as you tightly grip the small soft toy in your hands, gazing at it adoringly. “You ever going to pay me back?”

There it is again, and you think there isn’t one full moment where he can shut up.

“You’re asking me to pay on our second date, Lee? That’s almost romantic,” you scoff, “the blueberry juice must have really seeped through your roots into your empty brain. Just as I was about to thank you for this adorable toy too.”

“Adorable? I thought you said it was ugly like me?” he swivels his body to face you, “you think i’m cute, pretty girl?”

“As cute as the disney troll that pissed on your hair,” you bite back, rolling your eyes as you quicken your step.

The expression on your face loosens when you’re sure Heeseung cannot see it, as you fight back a smile presented to you by the awfully interesting boy who makes your heart tremble at just the thought of him.

“Next week, same time,” Heeseung shouts at your disappearing figure, an unfiltered smile plastered on his face, “don’t forget, pretty girl.” And it’s a whole new sensation for him; to want to see you again even though you’ve just left.

You fall asleep with the bambi soft toy pressed firmly against the flesh of your cheeks, and you can’t help but let out soft giggles at the simple thought of the boy who looked like a fallen angel and handsome devil all at once, a boy named Lee Heeseung who calls you disgustingly domestic nicknames that your heart can’t help but flutter at the sound of. Lee Heeseung who — though is conceited and prideful, listens to your every word like it’s the most interesting thing on earth.

© SJYUNS

[smileyerim]

the urge to kiss your wine stained lips

The lines are blurring between friends and lovers and you wouldn’t mind taking advantage of it, leaning in closer until you can taste the gin cocktail on his tongue.

pairing: haechan x reader

genre: fluff, suggestive (MDNI!), slight angst

length: 3.5k

warnings: heavy makeout, reader gets tipsy

net tags: @kflixnet @neowritingsnet

happy early 300 followers (still 20 away!)

You’re not naive. Okay, well, maybe you are but that’s not the point here. The point is that your relationship with Haechan is something you care about. Cherish, even. So much so that the idea of screwing it up with him is terrifying. So terrifying that you feel like running away any time you feel those little sparks fly through you any time he does anything that could be perceived as anything other than friendly.

You’ve heard the warning, that guys and girls can’t just be friends but you never bought into it, using your friendship with Haechan as proof. That is, until he got his dick sucked for the first time and dyed his hair pink. He gained such an attractive confidence and his regular teasing jokes started to feel more like flirting and suddenly everything you used to find endearing about him became straight up torturous.

The worst part of it all is that you aren’t just attracted to the new Haechan, you have grown real life big girl feelings for him too. The scary ones, the friendship ending ones. The ones you’d never have the courage to confess to him. The ones you desperately hope he reciprocates but aren’t quite sure if he does.

It’s all come to a head tonight. Of course it does, your hormones are insane and he just got his roots touched up and his hair is styled in a perfect quiff.

Fuck his hairstylist.

You’re scowling, thinking about the damned attractive man in front of you as you down your final sips of red wine in your glass.

“Woah,” he grabs your wrist and that makes you want to groan. “What are you going so fast for? I’m not done yet and you’re already on your second glass.”

There’s a reason for your sudden affinity for binge drinking, but you can’t tell him. He had grown interested in sophisticated life skills recently for some godawful reason and decided tonight was the perfect night to show off his new cooking skills to you.

So now you’re here in your kitchen that you’ve never so much as turned your oven on in, while your “best friend” flies around in an apron making you a meal.

Goddamn. He looks so fine.

You sink, dropping your glass down onto the counter you’re sitting on beside you.

“Bad day I guess.” You lie, swinging your feet back and forth.

He chuckles an extremely attractive chuckle, “Cacio E Pepe will make it all better.” you frown at that, you’ve never even heard of such a dish but it sounds amazing and totally not something that your best friend would know about either.

With the courage of a wine glass behind you, you allow your curiosity to get the best of you.

“Why are you doing this anyway?” You ask, words slightly mumbled from your tipsiness. With a soft groan you pull the cork out of the wine bottle you were supposed to share with him with no difficulty preparing to pour another glass.

He frowns, his eyes not leaving the pan as he stirs the pasta, perfectly pretending not to have heard the cork pop.

“What do you mean, cooking for you?” He asks.

You take a sip, “No, the learning to cook thing. Why? Trying to impress girls?” You try to hide your bitterness but you aren’t sure how well you’ve done it. You take another sip.

He looks at you this time and you want to hide.

He pauses for a minute, an unreadable expression on his face before he looks back down to his pan and says softly, “Something like that.”

You scoff and roll your eyes at that, the jealousy burning alive at the idea that he’s using you as a trial run.

“Well, thank whoever she is for making you want to get your act together.” You jump off the counter and brush past him on your way to the fridge.

Bending over, your head half in the vegetable drawer looking for the gin you keep stocked for nights like these.

“So I’m your fake girlfriend for the evening?” You ask, avoiding his eyes as you shuffle through your fridge.

He giggled to himself at your comment before saying, “I guess so.”

“What was that giggle for?” You tease, poking his shoulder, making him rock a bit and let out another chuckle.

“Nothing.” He says casually before grabbing the pepper grinder and twists, adding his own flair as he flicks his wrist.

Fuck, you’re going to go crazy. If he was anyone else you’d make fun of him for the stupid moves he’s pulling clearly in an attempt to impress you. The issue with that, of course, is that you want him to want to impress you.

So you draw your attention to the cocktail you’re stirring up for him, your own little sophisticated life skill you picked up around the same time Haechan began cooking.

Something about all of this feels insanely domestic and it’s comforting. As selfish as it sounds, you don’t mind stealing the memories from Haechan’s future girlfriend. It’s a life you wouldn’t hesitate to steal from her provided the chance, too.

You squeeze the lemon peel once to spritz the glass before pouring in the spirits and taking your knife to the lemon to curl a perfect twist for his drink.

Satisfied with the cocktail you’ve created for your fake boyfriend (gag, by the way. You’ve never been into cute stuff like this. Of course, until now.) you turn around, placing a hand on his shoulder to grab your attention and hand him the glass.

He smiles down at the glass and then once he’s caught your eyes he says, “Thanks, fake girlfriend for the evening.” His arm loops around your waist, pulling you into him as he plants a delicate kiss on your cheek.

Your brain goes haywire as he doesn’t let you go, taking a sip of the drink. You’re not quite sure what to do as you stand, slightly stunned by the proximity.

Lowering the glass from his lips, he smacks them together and grows a thoughtful frown on his face, “This is your best one yet.” He says looking into your eyes again with a glimmer.

Your stomach drops the moment your eyes lock. And as if he has some sort of insane agenda, his sparkling eye winks at you before letting go to give his attention back to the pan in front of him.

Your wine is calling your name again as you try to will away the blush that’s definitely arisen on your cheeks.

As much as you probably shouldn’t, you pop the cork and top off your glass, situating yourself back up on the counter to watch him again.

You sit quietly and sip, watching his every move. Every once in a while he’ll sneak a glance out of the corner of his eye, a smirk growing on his lips watching you turn your gaze quickly elsewhere as to pretend you weren’t just staring at him.

He’s getting confident, aware that he’s had some sort of effect on you as he pulls out his tricks, gallivanting around the kitchen, faking a French accent as he explains the ingredients to you.

Your face is warm with flush from the wine you’ve been drinking all night and a permanent small smile is on your face as you watch him, eyes low with relaxation.

Maybe it’s the wine, or the “fake girlfriend” title, or the intimacy of the moment that boldens you to flirt the way you do next.

“We should do this more often.” He looks at you, surprised by your first words in a while.

“I cook for you all the time!” He fakes offense and that leads you to laugh and stretch out your leg to kick his hip.

“Not ramen, but this sort of romantic dinner thing.” You half speak into your wine glass, the embarrassment catching up to you but but enough to prevent you from saying it all together.

“Ooooh,” he teases, shifting his weight from one hip to another, “you like the romance, huh?” He giggles and with a smile he attempts to catch your eye.

You blush outright this time, the butterflies in your belly erupt from their cage, sneaking up your sternum when you make eye contact. Quickly, you look away and giggle.

“Shut up.” You whisper, both hands on your wine glass in your lap. You stare down and try and preoccupy your thoughts with counting the bubbles that come to the surface, playing with the overhead light reflection in the effervescent pale yellow.

Thankfully, Haechan does shut up this time and you watch him again, this time he’s lost his playful edge and you feel the tipsiness rock you back and forth, setting your glass down beside you. Maybe it is time to slow down, you don’t want to forget tonight.

He looks more pensive as he continues, he’s standing up straight and is looking straight ahead at the pan. It worries you how when a song you know he despises comes on shuffle and he doesn’t move to change it or complain to you how it’s still on your playlist although you know he doesn’t like it.

The butterflies have settled down probably a bit too much, as you feel a sinking feeling of embarrassment that you spoke too candidly earlier, the flush on your face taking on a new meaning.

“Y/N,” he says with a small voice, looking over to you.

“Yeah?” You croak out, watching with wide eyes as he looks you up and down. You gulp when his eyes linger a little too long on your chest. What has gotten into him?

He drops the wooden spoon in an act you weren’t expecting one bit and traverses the 3 steps over to stand in front of you, his hips inches away from your knees.

His hands find your knees and it feels like fire as he pushes them apart to make space for himself between them. While he’s doing this his gaze is locked on you. Well, your lips, that is. You swallow thickly, trying to figure out his motive as his hands trail farther up your legs and finding their home eventually on your hips. You’re still sitting quite stiff, until he looks into your eyes as if to ask permission. When you don’t protest, he moves in closer and closer until your lips are finally together.

The sparks that are present every time he touches you seem so small compared to the absolute lightning you feel as he kisses you. It’s slow at first, his soft lips moving against yours gently and carefully. He’s holding back in a way you wish he wouldn’t, your hands moving to find the back of his head as you kiss him harder.

He takes the hint, his hands holding you just a bit tighter as he licks into your mouth. You can’t help the moan you let out, absolutely shocked at your own reaction. This is your first kiss with your best friend. Yet you can’t seem to hold it together.

Unsurprisingly, he can’t either as his hands move down just a bit further to tease at touching your ass. You move off his mouth to trail kisses down to his neck where you begin to suck and lick. He’s panting in your ears, his hands grabbing a full handful now.

“So, uh, Y/N,” he says, and you hum in response not picking up on his tone. You’re on a mission you don’t particularly wish to be taken off of.

You hum, moving your hand to his hair and kissing him again, humming to urge him to go on.

“Can I tell you something?” He says and you lean back to get a proper look at him. He looks unbelievably sexy, but you have to ignore that for the slightly worried look behind his eyes. This is not the same man that boldly started this make out session with you. This is Donghyuck, your best friend of 9 years.

“Yeah.” You say, your hands intertwining behind his head, forearms on his shoulders.

“I don’t want to be your fake boyfriend.” He breathes out, avoiding eye contact and looking back down at your lips as he begins chewing on his own.

“Oh?” Your confidence takes over as the butterflies are released from their cage and flutter upwards out of your belly and light up your body in a strange tingly feeling.

“What do you want to be then?” You whisper, eyes wide waiting for him to look back up at you. He does, but only in short sequences as his eyes find yours and then back down. He’s holding his breath, you can tell by how his fingers that were dancing across your skin before have stilled uncomfortably.

He’s taking too long, you decide, so you make the executive decision to get back on track with the original plan by pulling on the back of his neck to join your lips again.

It’s the right call obviously as he kisses you back almost immediately and the tension from the moment before is expressed through strong squeezes of your thigh and ass flesh as his tongue enters your mouth again.

The same guy that kissed you in the first place is back as he situates both his hands on your hips and pulls you forward harshly so that his hips can officially meet yours.

You moan, letting your head fall back at the feeling of him underneath his jeans meets your core. You wrap your legs around his hips as he kisses down your neck, pressing his hips harder into yours and sliding up to offer some much appreciated friction.

“Hae- Haechan.” You stutter, blissed out and he responds with a hum, clearly not appreciating being interrupted on his mission to mark you.

“You- oh fuck” his hand slithers up your shirt to grasp your breast, thumbing your hard nipple through your thin bralette. He smiles into your neck as he listens to you breathe, gauging what makes you make the noises he loves so much.

“You never answered my question.” You half moan out and that makes him lean back from his work on your neck and look into your eyes with an incredulous look. Taking in your stunned features at him halting his work on you, he groans and lifts you up from the counter.

With a squeal you wrap both your hands around his shoulders as he moves to carry you out of the kitchen.

“Wait-“ you smack his shoulder.

“Haechan! The stove!” You point from your look over his shoulder.

“What? Oh” He then chuckes a deep chuckle before walking back into the kitchen, releasing his grip on one of your thighs to turn the knob and remove the sauce pan from the stove.

“Thanks for that.” He smiles at you and gives you a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth drawing a giggle from you.

“That’s what fake girlfriends are for, right?” You joke and something switches behind his eyes, the fierce sexy guy who was just about to carry you to his bed is now looking at you with the same soft heartbroken eyes that he had when he got stood up that one time freshman year.

He sighs long and loud before letting you down. Your feet touch the floor with unceremonious thuds as you watch him take a step and a half back from you, a pained expression on his face as he lets out a sharp breath through his pursed lips.

“What?” You say, concerned by the crease between his eyebrows and the way he won’t make eye contact with you.

You suddenly feel exposed, and extremely stupid. Your roommates were right about you, you are the dumbest bitch on the planet. Why would you say something like that? Bringing up a fake girlfriend joke when he’s trying to hook up with you freaked him out.

“Ouch, I mean ouch, Y/N” You don’t say anything, continuing to stand and stare at him with wide eyes.

“Damn, that hurt to hear. Do you know what you just implied?” He finally looks up at you and you can finally read him— he’s hurt.

“I mean I’ve been trying to prove to you that I’m into you for months. Like months, Y/N. I’m here now cooking a romantic dinner for you and I just kissed you. I don’t know what else to do here. You don’t get it at all.” His hands are flying about, exasperated. His words cut you like a knife.

Your heart sinks and you can’t pin down the emotion that is creeping up inside of you. Similar to relief and shock but it’s more than that, much more.

“You were okay with the fake girlfriend bit before, how was I supposed to know it would hurt you now?” You say, finally landing on your feelings of offense at his words. How dare he make this into something more than it was?

“I was fine with it until I kissed you! I did that and was about to do a whole lot more and yet you still think this is a game to me?”

That shut you up fast. You didn’t know, you truly didn’t.

“I- I didn’t know.” You say, your sternum stinging with the telltale sign you may start crying soon.

“Of course you didn’t, I didn’t tell you but trust me I’ve tried. I just thought you understood.”

“I’m sorry.” A tear slipped. Overwhelmed with far too many emotions of finally having the awareness that the man in front of you is familiar with his own demon of having feelings for you.

At the notice of your tear, Haechan’s face changes from anger to concern as he steps into you, toes touching. His hands find your cold biceps and he rubs his hand up and down to comfort you.

“No, no don’t be sorry. Please don’t be sorry. It’s me, it was my job to tell you how I felt and I was expecting you to read my mind.” He sighs to himself, head hanging low to try and meet your eye.

“I just thought you wanted to hook up. That’s all you’ve been doing nowadays anyway I thought that was happening here too.”

You say, chin still tucked into your chest.

“Fuck, I’m sorry that you felt that way. You could never just be a regular hookup to me. I- I mean I’ve been all about you for a long time. That’s why I was having all those hookups and everything. Like, for you.”

You laugh through your sniffles, finally looking up into his eyes with a teary smile. He smiles back and giggles with you.

“That didn’t sound right I just mean— I meant— I dunno, hookups are hookups but you’re more I hope you believe me.”

“I believe you.” You whisper, eyes flicking between his two. He notices your stare and his smile softens to a comfortable one.

“So, I did my part.” He draws out with a playful tone in his voice, hands still on your arms. “How about you?” His pleading eyes pierce into your heart.

You sniffle once more, hand coming up to wipe one stray tear from your chin. It’s now or never, you think as your heart beats out of your chest. You’re surprised he can’t hear it.

“I like you, you idiot.” You finally speak, giggling at the last word. His face lights up in a bright smile, eyes swimming in adoration as he stares down at you.

“Really?” He gasps and you both laugh, eyes filled to the brim with fondness for one another meeting.

You bite your lip, watching his eyes immediately stare down at your lips as you hum, nodding in affirmation.

He smiles a satisfied wide grin, “how lucky am I?”

His lips barely meet yours in your kiss, both of you simply unable to stop grinning or laughing with joy. When his hand travels down to grab your hips with more passion, you finally kiss him for real. He responds quickly, slotting his pillowy lips with yours, eyes squinting shut.

“You’re my girl now, right?” He says once you both lean away to catch your breaths, cheeks blushing and warm.

You nod again in response, a “yeah,” escaping your swollen lips through a giggle.

His eyes open fully to look at you again and something mysterious flashes in his eyes as his wide hands find the space between your ass and thighs, picking you up swiftly.

taglist: @matchahyuck @shxnz @haechanaceah @haeerisuh @haetkeeper @count-your-shadows @yamaggukie