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#so now its literally past one and i only got like two things done
skyeateyourdonuts · 2 years
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fhaldhskdhs
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fury road. when furiosa has one evening of downtime for the first time in two days and also two decades and goes blankie mode
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#she's everything. obviously#the rich genre of ppl driving around killing people then respectfully Not having a convo literally face to face#presumably not just downtime but also abt having had a [furiosa's big day] or two lately#your arc as a protagonist Just had its low point. you can't just walk over normally like so anyways....#walk over normally but Cozy Mode while getting through mutually coughing up blood over the effort of a brief exchange. never gets old#anyways i'm obsessed with literally everything she does at any point & think of any of it all the time b/c. i've simply seen this film#obsessed with things other people do also and even go ''yeah this action movie is like an action movie to me'' for once but You Know#everything i could cite is like this is so funny. and so excellent. and so [aaarghhh i - ]#tangential but when i learned they were originally trying to produce this film in the 00s......god delayed that#for one thing i couldn't have seen it like at least once a week for as many weeks as it was in theaters if that happened lol#partly just so happening to go see it the first time like going ''ah. i see'' over & over after various shots like well. i'm different now#blankie mode not necessarily among them lmao but hey. 7 yrs later N viewings later you can appreciate specifics afresh#there was something or other i only Got watching it the other year for the zillionth time that wasn't even like meant to be like#an easter egg or tiny detail or anything. i just missed something / needed to receive the info totally afresh lol like oh okay [parses]#the other day it was like damn haven't read through this narrative comic in ages & that means i forget plenty of details / how they connect#had only done a handful of Straight Through catchup rereads Ever but only this time was i like ohh. i've connected some dots so much more#clearly in a case or two like [didn't quite Get this one plot point but kinda had breezed past it] [a Mystery point is obvious now]#anyways#i've gone ''did the blanket somehow survive / make the transfer'' (not so far as i can tell) like oops doing more media analysis like nice.#there's threads here....have your last seen exchange while more literally coughing up blood. more literally face to face & Yet Only Kinda..#okay anyways. she's everything. and [cinema]
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guinevereslancelot · 2 months
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is there any worse feeling than when you feel like someone is mad at you bc they literally are mad at you
#i came into the living room and my dad was yelling abt how he basically hates everyone in the whole family#bc nobody got around to reqding the latest chapter of his book yet#but he was really upset and mad#i get being hurt by that but it literally is not a personal rejection people are just busy idk#he didn't let on he was upset at all until he completely flipped out#now he doesn't want anyone to read it anymore#he's really hurt tho bc we all always read my mom's stuff#and my brother and i talk abt what we're writing together all the time#and i get there's a special kind of hoy sharing your writing with someone but only when they're really interested and engaged#unfortunately the two people most likely to care abt hia book are my two oldest brothers and they dont live w us#so they cant really give him that feedback#he did send hia chapters to them but they arent around to talk abt it and havent responded yet#basically nobody actually cares abt his book#he's been talking abt writing one for like ten years or more and only started in the past few months#its a zombie book and full of his really weird and controversial political and religious takes tho sp its a stressful read#i dont really agree w him on certain issues and we're ok abt it usually but it makes reading it more stressful#anyway#he's really upset tho#and he can only express unpleasant emotions through anger so i shut down and cant interact#and he specifically said he doesnt want people do do the thing he's so hurt that we didnt do#so there's no real way to set things right to alleviate my anxiety#he's a very difficult person to love with sometimes but he's really generous and has done a lot to help me#so i can live my dream and start a business and he's not really pressuring me abt my job seaech and rent and stuff#so it does make me feel guilty that i basically didn't care abt his book#it wouldnt be as bad if literally everyone in the family hadn't also done that#when he does to much for everyone#he's mad at everyone but im the only one having a panic attack and im the only one he didn't yell at#he's not handling his emotions well but neither do i so we usually just dont acknowledge things like this until everyone is over it#but i hate that i literally need conflict to be resolved immediately or i go insane
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retroellie · 4 months
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Polluted
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Summary: After a long day of work, Spencer comes home and fucks his stresses away.
A/N: This was written in literally 45 minutes but I had this idea and I couldn't make it into a full fic, my mind could only think of the smut part lmao. Enjoy!!! :)
Warnings: NSFW, slapping, degradation, squirting, unprotected sex, mean!spencer
Word count: 1.9K
Prison changed Spencer Reid, plain and simple. This is not the man you came to love. He was cruel, possessive, completely and utterly damaged. You hoped that prison wouldn't taint Spencer too much, you hoped that he would continue to be sweet little Dr. Spencer Reid. But you knew what prison could do to a person, for you locked people up daily. You knew that the system would take Spencer's old soul and soft heart into its muddy hands, squeezing them until they became one. Although sometimes in the right lighting, in the right moment, you can see a hint of Spencer in his light brown eyes.
You can't say that you hated the change in Spencer, obviously there was much work to be done before Spencer could truly be himself again. However, you could live with this change. He was hungry, feeling as though your body was the only thing that could fill that hunger. It was extremely attractive to you, his sudden hunger for you. Spencer was always using you, using your body or your mouth or your hands... just you. There was always an excuse for him to be inside of you in his mind. A man thought of looking at you? He bent you over the kitchen table. You wore a shirt that showed a bit of your chest? He dragged you into the bathroom and forced you onto your knees. You smiled at him? He would shove his face between your thighs until you couldn't even see straight.
Even on the way back home after he had gotten out of prison, he bent you over the backseat on the side of the road and fucked you roughly. It felt like you were stepping on eggshells every time around him because you never know what can set him off... it was oddly scandalous, almost arousing as the thought of how he'd fuck you next was always on your mind. A big plus was that spencer dug himself into your brain, pulling out your deepest and darkest kinks, and using them to give you earth-shattering, mind-blowing, life-changing orgasms. Now you don't think you two could ever go back to just plain sex. He had ruined you, ruined your body so much that only the thought of being hurt could get you off now.
"Fucking bitch..." Spencer spat out, his hand spreading your legs further open as his cock drilled into your soaked cunt. "That bitch looked at me like I was fucking stupid..."
His words came out breathy and jagged as he fucked into you at an animalistic pace. Spencer came home today upset, his tie being ripped off and thrown down as soon as he got into the door. You knew something was up by this action, but also the look on his face. He seemed to have a frown sewn onto his face, something that he wore most days. You asked what was wrong but you were met with him ripping off your clothes, hinting that he didn't want to talk but to fuck his frustrations into you. Now here you were, panties ripped off, legs wide open, Spencer deep inside you with his hand placed on your neck.
You couldn't tell how many times you came just in this position alone, you couldn't keep count. His hand gripped your through, affecting the way your brain functioned. You felt with every thrust of Spencer's hips you would lose brain cells... creating the dumb cock whore that Spencer ached to achieve. Spencer's hand applied more pressure to your throat as he thought of what happened at work, how while section chief Erin Strauss critiqued his work, people were being murdered.
"As if my 187 IQ wasn't enough for her." He started, his hand on your thigh being slammed down past your face and into the wooden table he was drilling you into. " I mean, I've been at this place for over 10 years... I know what I'm fucking doing"
You came again, not able to keep yourself from unraveling now. His hand on your throat was constricting your moans, completely silencing them as the only thing that could come out of your mouth was soft gurgles. You loved this feeling, knowing that at any moment if you didn't like it you could alert Spencer and he'd stop immediately. I guess you could say that Spencer's care for you never disappeared after prison, he would go on to say that it strengthened his love for you. He had this picture of you that you had sent him in one of your many letters, he kept it with him everywhere he went for it was the only thing that kept him sane.
One time a fellow inmate saw it, snatched it from him, and digested every single inch of you. He went on to explain the disgusting things he would do to you if he got the chance, that is exactly why Spencer came home to fuck you nice and good every night. Because if he wasn't the one to do it, he knew that other people would take you for granted, they would spend only minutes with you... ignoring what you needed and taking what they wanted. You would feel incomplete, unsatisfied, and completely in denial that love existed. You would assume love was only made for books and movies, that no one could show you the love you deserved. This is the love you deserve. You deserve a love that could have you coming undone over and over again, a harsh and mean kind of love but that always ended with soft kisses and a nice hot bath. A love that was sour at first but ended sweet, making sure that the words "i love you" were carved onto your skin.
"You wouldn't do that would you?" He whispered into your ear, his grip on your throat as he waited for your response. " You don't think I'm stupid ...hmm?"
His cock was too deep inside you, it was deep enough to have you going cross-eyed and unable to speak. Your moans became audible now, no longer being stuck in your throat due to his pressure being released. His pace was still inhumanly fast, not stopping even for a second. The table had started to shit forward, being scrapped across the floor and probably worrying the downstairs neighbors. You were on the verge of cumming again, your mind not even able to comprehend his question until you felt a harsh sting on your cheek. Spencer had slapped you across the face, growing impatient while waiting for your answer.
"Answer me...." He hissed out, leaning down and taking his lips to yours. He bit down on your lip, creating a pain that shot through your body. "Or I'm going to make you cum over and over and over again until you can't think of anything else besides my cock deep inside your tight little pussy..."
You could taste blood now, your lip bleeding and seeping into your mouth. His words created this deep, rough knot in your stomach. It wasn't like the rest of the orgasms you had tonight, no it was more intense. It hurt, painful with every thrust of his cock. It created a deep pain and pleasure dynamic in your body but felt like something was trying to claw itself out of your body.
"Fuck..." You screamed out, grabbing onto him and digging your fingernails into his back. "No I wouldn't! Fuck... I wouldn't! I won't!"
You finally replied, hoping with those words he would deepen his thrust if that was even possible. Spencer just grinned down at you, placing his head in between your shoulder blade and your neck. He set soft kisses to the skin, his warm lips against your burning skin. Spencer was close, your words pushing him further to the edge. The feeling inside your stomach didn't stop or dull, it only got worse. You were screaming now, Spencer's hand lingering on your neck but sitting gently on your skin. Spencer picked up his speed, the table scraping against the floor even harder.
You couldn't handle it, everything around you becoming so far away yet being so close. The feeling got to a point of feeling terrifyingly painful but also so potent of pleasure and so bewitching that you didn't want it to end now. A couple more of Spencer's deep and harsh thrusts sent you over the edge, the painful knot in your stomach snapping and shooting liquid out of your body. It was the first time you had ever squirted, the feeling so glorious that you wished it would happen every time. Your vision went out, only seeing light and hearing Spencer's soft moans as he finished inside of you. The world felt like it ended, nothing to be seen or to be experienced... just emptiness but complete fullness all at the same time.
"Good girl..." You heard Spencer's words echo through your now-empty mind. You couldn't tell if your eyes were closed or not. "You did so good for me honey... I'm so proud of you."
Those single words were all you needed to hear as you floated back to earth and into your body, you blinked a couple times... forgetting where and who you were for a split second. You came back to see Spencer brushing your hair back from your sweaty face, his face inches from yours as his face filled with concern that maybe he had broken you finally.
"There she is..." He chuckled softly, kissing your lips softly. " There's my girl..."
You gave him a weak smile, raise your hand to rest on his cheek. You rubbed it softly, feeling the growing stubble on his face. He was just as sweaty as you, his body hot to the touch. You two probably looked insane, one of you barely able to walk looking beat the hell up and the other one scratched up and drenched with liquids. Spencer gently slid himself out of you, watching you wince softly as it felt like he was connected to you at this point.
"Sorry..." He whispered, taking your hand in his as he rubbed your thigh gently "I was too rough huh?"
Rough was not even close to what Spencer was. He was brutal, sadistic, barbaric but you couldn't deny that you would choose it over compassion any day. You began to think that maybe prison was the best thing that could've happened to Spencer Reid, not only was he a genius but he now had a powerful glow to him. Shy kisses and longing gazes were a thing of the past for you two, Spencer knew what he wanted and he was going to get it.
"You were just rough enough..." I chuckled, feeling nothing but content and at peace in this moment.
Spencer laughed with you, pecking your lips one last time before pulling away from you. He looked around, his eyes landing on the couch. He smiled, walking over and leaving you but only for a second. He came back with a blanket, wrapping it around you then picking you up bridal style. You thanked him silently because you knew there was no way you were getting off the table without some kind of help.
"To the bath you go..." He joked, holding you close to him as he walked you to your shared bathroom. 
You looked into his eyes and at the right lighting, the right moment, you looked into his light brown eyes... realizing that this is Spencer Reid. This is Spencer Reid damaged, polluted, and bruised... but it was still the man you fell in love with all those years ago.
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hoseoksluna · 2 months
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MIST | myg ft. jjk
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pairing: boyfriend!yoongi x oc (feat. jungkook)
genre: angst, smut
word count: 11.3k
summary: one encounter with jungkook makes you forget about your boyfriend.
playlist: mist / pinterest board: mist
warnings: the unfolding of polyamory, provocation, cuckold kink, cum eating, oc and yoongi fight, use of vulgar names, mentions of female masturbation, punishment, spanking, hair pulling, dom/sub dynamics, fingering, nipple play, disobedience, use of a sex toy, multiple orgasms, yoongi isn't comfortable with a certain sexual practice at first, spit kink, oc feels pain and likes it
note: it's here, you guys oh my god. this is part two of STEAM. i thought this would have only two parts, but when i got to the end, it was evident that it needs another one. i worked hard on this, guys. if you haven't read my little updates, i was literally sick today and threw up my breakfast, but i still somehow managed to get this writing done, so make sure you let me know how much you love this, hate this, what you expect and what you're feeling. pls!!! my inbox is open for you always x enjoy reading, love you all. ᯓ ᡣ𐭩
side note: HOBI'S NEW ALBUM IS OUT SLDKFJSDLFJSFJSLDF.
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The night is feverish. 
So much that small pearls of its perspiration settle over the arc of your hand, between your thumb and your index, peeking from beneath the enfolding of your crossed legs. It’s as if the darkened heavens were hot and bothered while eavesdropping on the conversation you’re having with the two males sitting by the table, one right next to you and the other across from you. Even the clouds have halted their drift and the stars… they haven’t dared to blink, focused entirely on the question slipping from the mouth of the male you’ve known the least amount of time. 
Is this gonna be a one time thing? 
You will your mind to be empty, for if you allow yourself to think about it, your answer is as clear as the flare of those lights above. And you don’t want to voice out how much you like the idea of the sex being continual in fear of being turned down, in fear of Jungkook wanting this to be a one night only matter. What’s worse, you’re terrified of awakening Yoongi’s wrath. You believe the wine in your hand is the only bitterness you can manage to swallow. 
Oh.
You chuckle. 
A mist blankets your shoulders, the softest of summer drizzles. A briskness that steals your attention from the double meaning swarming in your brain. But when you lift your eyes to welcome in the small rain, it’s Jungkook’s gaze that you meet. Dark eyelashes, heavied down by the weight of the half-drunk bottle of red that you and him have been drinking. An ivory swirl of brightness glossing over dilated pupils, fixated on you. On your own blurry left eye, the sheen of your mouth, past your neck to the shimmery glow of your collarbones and your right eye. The coldness of the mist thickens, yet it’s not the reason behind your gooseflesh. No, it’s quite far from it. 
What roughens your skin is that very intentional stare. The slight narrowness to his once perpetually round eyes as he, for a mere second, shifts his gaze from your boyfriend back to you, adamantly expecting a response, one you refuse to have. It’s such a stark change to his countenance that, besides being stirred by it, you’re completely in awe of it. The smooth forehead, the slightly raised brow and smug mouth, now adorned with a lip ring that wasn’t there before. You don’t find the good man with purity in his eyes that, days ago, made a ruckus out of your life sitting before you, but someone else entirely. 
A man, whose arousal emanates out of him like fragrance, seeping into your fresh mango scent scattered along the perimeters of your skin. 
A man, like Yoongi had predicted, came to you like a puppy through him, asking you out for dinner. 
Horny puppy. You squeeze your legs, hiding your faint smile behind the rim of your wine glass, tilting the carmine nectar into your mouth. Jungkook examines the bobble of your throat, the dart of your tongue as the muscle drifts across the rosy brownness of your bottom lip and you’re heedful of it—a moonlight personified, the mist around you like the clouds clinging to that planetary body.
Jungkook calls you by your name. “What’s funny?” 
A momentary stillness. You thought your soft laughter was unheard. Your brain goes empty, mouth parts, the entirety of your vocabulary vanishes— 
“I think that’s something we decide after the night is over,” Yoongi answers Jungkook’s question lowly, propping a strong palm on the cloth of the table. The wet breeze dampens his hair, leaves a glow to his pale face. You wonder how he feels—if he’s still as okay with it as he was while fucking the life out of you—if he’s now, perhaps, facing some internal doubts that you know nothing of, that he hides beneath his words. “A collective decision.” 
He looks at you and beams at you with a tight-lipped smile. An expression that conveys that he wants this for you. You let out a sigh of relief, placing your hand on top of his and Yoongi makes a space for your fingers to fold in between his. Like he always does when he’s giving you backshots. 
A gooseflesh changed for hot flashes. You become the night, its fever thudding inside your lit skin. A familiar ache begins to grow in between your legs, demanding it. As if Jungkook’s lustful expression and energy wasn’t enough, your boyfriend had to remind you of something so intimate. 
You want both of them—right now.
Jungkook’s gape falls on your intertwined hands. Lover’s grasp. You note recognition, and perhaps a flashback, pulses with a dimmed light for a mere heartbeat in his eyes. It worsens your ache and, like Yoongi’s hair, you feel your panties dampen under your dress. You squeeze your thighs one more time before you untangle your legs, your heels clanging on the concrete, your knee bumping into Jungkook’s.
So close to him, yet so far away. 
You let yourself dream about how he fucks. Rough strokes, those muscled thighs straddling you—
“You agree with this?” 
A question from him directed towards you. Your throat dries up, dizzy from being pulled back to Earth. You take a long sip of your wine, but it doesn’t help your state. On the contrary, the buzz of the alcohol makes you tremble all over, intensifying your lightheadedness. You want to be fucked. Multiple times. Until you can’t walk. 
You wet your lips. “Of course,” you say, squeezing Yoongi’s fingers once, twice, letting him know through your own version of Morse code how horny you’re becoming, hoping he gets the memo. “It’s smart. If we made the decision now, who’s to say you won’t get sick of me?” 
Your response hurt you and you cringe, regretting your words. Your knuckles turn white, the breeze brushes through your hair and you relax your hold. Let out a hard breath. 
If he got sick of you after fucking you, you’d hate yourself for the rest of your life. Move out to a cave, far from civilization, so no one would see you ever again. 
Jungkook raises his brows, shaking his head. The smug smile on his lips remains, as if sewn into his skin. You wish you could wipe it away and straddle him right here in front of everyone—
“Sweetheart, don’t think that. I won’t get sick of you.” He toys with the foot of his wine glass, fingers moving it in slow circles as though he was—
Such a fucking tease. 
Your clit throbs. You won’t think that, all right. You’ll keep your mind empty and stupid just for him. 
You watch the movement of his digits, smiling slyly. The night rushes within you and, mentally, you wrap a collar around your neck in order to stop yourself from crawling across the table and taking a seat on his lap. A yearning forms. A yearning to feel the semi you know full well he’s sporting in his pants. You bite your lip, squeezing Yoongi’s hand again. He merely chuckles, aware of what the pair of you is doing and it’s too much for you. 
You need a dick rearranging your guts. Right now. 
Perhaps, two. 
You stifle a groan. 
“Tell you what. I have a cabin out in the mountains. With toys,” Jungkook says and you widen your eyes, his deep voice fraternizing with the night in you. Toys as in…? “An hour away from here. I can show you there how much I’m willing to not get sick of you.” 
Yoongi’s chuckle amplifies and you’re struck. Fucked up. Your cunt drools, ruining your panties. Your cheeks flush. Feverish, beyond feverish—you’re on fire. Your breathing gains speed and fuck. Toys? 
You have no thoughts. All that your brain is filled with is dick. Two dicks. 
Yoongi lifts his hand, unsnarling your intertwinement, and he sneaks it beneath your dress. His fingers feel up the drenched material of your underwear and hums. You reckon he already expected to find you wet and his sound of approval coaxes more of your dewiness to try and come into contact with him, but to your dismay and his, the fabric stands in the way. 
For two beats of time, Yoongi puts pressure on your clit as he feels up more of you and, faintly, so no one hears, you mewl, hiding your face beneath your palm. You swallow your whine for more, instead you sigh, camouflaging your moment of weakness. Bury your gaze into Yoongi’s, silently pleading him to take you home. 
Yoongi only smirks down at you before he faces Jungkook. “She’s wet. I think it’s safe to say she’d like that.” 
You slap his arm and Yoongi takes his hand away. The men laugh and you feel terrible, but not for long. You decide to take charge of the energy. 
“What kind of toys?” You will your voice to be confident and it’s only a split of it that comes out. You don’t mind—it’s enough because it silences their laughter, seriousness taking place instead. 
Jungkook licks his lips, adjusting in his seat—like Yoongi during that video call—and you sense it moving through you. You also feel the need to adjust, to peel your panties away from your cunt, discomfort seizing you a little. “I’ll show you tomorrow. Or the weekend after that?” Your eyes widen in panic. No—no, you can’t wait that long. He smiles fondly at you, sensing your emotions. “Tomorrow, then.”
You sigh in relief, downing your wine, but Jungkook isn’t done with you. 
“Will you pack your little red robe?” 
You choke. 
Amidst the chaos of the situation, you didn’t even realize he saw you. You didn’t even detect his eyes drifting that low. Thought Yoongi’s body colliding into you prevented him from seeing your intimate nighttime attire, but then you grasp that due to your shock, you might have missed that. 
Jungkook’s smirk widens. 
Oh, you want to say you’ll pack your little lace number that Yoongi particularly likes, along with your garters and stockings, though you opt to say something else entirely. You decide you want to steam him a tiny bit. Dominate the energy. Make him uneasy. For ulterior motives. 
“Will you brush off the cobwebs on your condoms  when packing or should I buy you new ones?” You quirk your brow, finger wiping away the drop of red that slipped out of the corner of your mouth. It’s all just talk—you want him to fuck you raw—a straight allusion to his loneliness that Yoongi told you about. Amused, Jungkook’s darkened eyes follow your movement. 
“Will you lick that finger?” 
You’re convinced your bloodstream came to a standstill. You don’t breathe, you don’t hear anything—your entire being becomes him, melding with the night, the moonlight. It’s him who now erases your brain. Yoongi touches your thigh, his fingers skimming the bare skin, but you don’t feel them. No, you pierce your gaze through Jungkook’s, penetrating right into his soul. And you simply decide that you want to own it. 
So much for steaming. 
“Do you want me to?” you retort, fluttering your lashes, the smile you give him as seductive as moonlight fluttering in you. You tap your finger on your bottom lip. Watch as his hand drifts somewhere beneath the table. 
He taps your knee in the same, identical beat. And, instinctively, you widen your legs. Your other knee bumps into Yoongi’s thigh. 
His first touch on your skin. You burn. Thank the heavens for slipping the idea inside your mind to wear a short dress. You inhale a breath in. Bite your lip, impatient for his answer. Tense your body so your trembles aren’t evident. You want to be strong, confident, despite the fact your body longs to submit to Jungkook—to be at his complete disposal, to be his, his to smooth down those quivers. 
Jungkook spreads his fingers along the roundness of your knee. Caresses you once. Then, nods. “Lick it for me.” 
Your heart jumps out of your chest. Right into his glass of wine. A flashback fills your brain—Yoongi saying familiar words to you on the night that perpetually changed your life. Stick it in your mouth for me. It must have rustled through his being just like it has in you. Has caused enough mayhem in him that he used those words. For me. He wants you to be naughty, be a little slut that listens to his commands—for him. 
Oh, and you shall do as he asks. 
Yoongi spreads an arm on the back of your chair, fingers sinking into your hair. The attention of both men, the lewdness, your wetness coating your panties, the warmth of the wine in your stomach, the night and the soft rain—you brim with life. You’re so elated that you’re sure you’re luminous. 
You plunge your red-tinged finger into your mouth. Keep it open for both men to see how you swirl your tongue around the digit before you close it. You make exaggerated sucking noises, your instincts and habits telling you to roll your eyes, but you decide against them. You’re in public after all—and you don’t really want to give Jungkook the full experience. Not yet. 
But then Yoongi pulls your hair and unwittingly, in a second, you moan. You shoot him a look, withdrawing your finger. He only chuckles, loosening his hold on your hair, the love in his eyes growing, mingling with joy and excitement. The sight of it calms you like still, deep waters and suddenly, you’re suffused with the desire to kiss him. 
Jungkook steals your attention, however. In typical fashion. 
He squeezes your knee between his thumb and forefinger, making you look at him. He’s propped his elbows on his thighs and the position broadens his shoulders more, the fabric of his black linen shirt taut around his muscles. The breeze quivers his lashes, strengthening the dimness and the lustfulness in his eyes. No glint of light to be found—just an abyss, bottomless eternity, enlivened by the scent of chocolate, the color of his eyes. It doesn’t unnerve you, on the contrary it boundlessly stimulates you. 
“You listen well,” he drawls, skimming his first knuckle down the smoothness of your shin before trailing back up. Gooseflesh—hard, thrilling gooseflesh. Your breath comes out choppy and you’re too transfixed by his feisty, lascivious aura to do something, anything about it. “But can you misbehave?” 
Your jaw falls open. At a loss for words. Brain muddy, cunt dripping. Your vocabulary long gone, your decision to be the one who takes charge of the situation long forgotten, long erased—more like—by someone who’s proved himself to be more dominant than your own boyfriend. Your boyfriend who has made you cry multiple times during sex. 
You let your trembles show. Bare, vulnerable. 
Yoongi strokes your hair, nuzzling his face behind your ear, placing a singular kiss there and it grounds you. Envelops a shield of safety around you. The breeze nourishes it. 
Jungkook slaps the side of your thigh softly. You gasp almost breathlessly, the impact vibrating through your body, the pulse on your clit a full drum. 
“Tomorrow then. At my cabin. Bring your robe,” he mutters, hypnotizing you with his gaze and you submit to it, unreservedly. This time, he drags his palm down your shin and his warmth guides you as you extend your leg for him, propping it between his outstretched legs, on the edge of his chair. He straightens, welcoming your gesture. “No condoms, no panties. Pussy dripping, preferably.” He halts the venture of his hand at your ankle, long fingers stretching to grab a hold of the heel of your stiletto. Flicks his eyes to Yoongi. “You can either make sure she’s wet or,” he pauses, whisking his gaze back to you. “You can touch your pussy for me? How’s that?” 
A carousel of dreams floods your mind and, fighting against the lodge in your throat, you voice out the one you like the most. You don’t want Yoongi to decide for you—you desire the decision to be yours, yours only. “Can I call you then?” 
Jungkook quickly raises his brows, stupefied by your answer. He didn’t expect that from you, and that fact makes you giddy. Night flowers begin to bloom in you, evening primrose and chocolate daisy—his flowers. They spread their petals when he says, “of course you can. Call me from his phone.”
Ever so persistent in the game of the roleplay. You could have exchanged numbers, but no. He wants it to be from the cuck’s phone. 
Yoongi grips your thigh, hard enough to make you wince. Even through your hypnosis, tipsiness and arousal, you sense that something is wrong. You turn your head to look at him and you discover that the love in his eyes, joy and excitement has gone out. Solemness has replaced it and into it, little by little, like the bottle of red Jungkook now tilts to your glass, overflows his wine of wrath. 
The threat you feared the most. 
You drop your leg to the ground and Jungkook lets you. Yoongi slackens his hold and you wonder what it was exactly that Yoongi didn’t like. The fact that Jungkook touched your leg or the plan between the pair of you—you touching yourself for him—that never had his approval? You release a breath, aware that you’ve done something very bad and your hypnosis and your smile declines with it. You even push your glass away, sobering up. The night flowers in you wilt. 
Yoongi relaxes beside you and you slip your fingers between his. 
You must have overdone it and the perception of that causes guilt to pool in your core. You should’ve at least looked at Yoongi to make sure he’s okay with it before jumping head-first. Nerves rise within you and you reach for your pack of cigarettes, hoping to chase your negative feelings away. Both men watch you, but the energy has already shifted. Arousal has evaporated and now, like the mist, seriousness settles in its place. Jungkook gives you a soft smile and you realize that your guilt is written all over your face, but he doesn’t say anything. Not to you; not to Yoongi.
The man before you returns to the good man you know, although his smug pride doesn’t let him become the healer that you know him to be. 
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The ride home is silent. 
Jungkook texted Yoongi the address to his cabin as soon as you said your goodbyes. Your boyfriend scowled at the message before he pocketed his phone, taking your hand and walking a little faster to his car, as if to run away from the mess you’ve created. You felt so bad that you let him trail you behind him like a child, chin tilted to your chest, the heft of your guilt pressing down at you like a murky cloud. 
The rain is thickening by the time Yoongi drives down the familiar road to his apartment. He keeps his hands tightly wrapped around the steering wheel and the gear stick, knuckles white like the moonlight that left you and fled back to the dark heavens. He doesn’t reach for the radio or his phone to play some music. Lets the rain sing instead; lets the rain mend the tension between you. You overfill, uncomfortably, with so many beginnings to your sentences, but none of them fit right—none of them really portray what you think you should say to him, so it all falls into the abyss of the night that still lingers within you. 
It’s Yoongi who speaks first when he kills the engine, as if he needed the fifteen minute long car drive to think about what just happened, but it’s not the words that you want to hear. He stares ahead at the line of cars parked before him, at the canopy of trees bending to their roofs. The pitter-patter sounds of the raindrops worsen the guilt eating at your insides, especially when Yoongi remains seated with his hands in his lap.
“You’re not calling him tomorrow.” 
Your deduction was right. He didn’t like the idea of you calling Jungkook while you’d be touching yourself. You get that he has the right to not feel comfortable letting his friend in on a particular sexual practice, but you want to know why. If you’re not getting your own way and he gets to decide everything, you at least want to know the reason. 
“Why?” you ask, calmly. I want to, you don’t add. You fold your hands on your lap similarly to him, mirroring his body language. Feel the bubble of your disappointment sizzling in you. 
“You’re fucking him tomorrow and that’s the end of it,” he mutters, waving a hand through the air sharply to emphasize his words. Doesn’t look at you. Not once. “No collective fucking decision. One time and that’s it.” 
You will your calmness to stay, even when a foam of your own wrath pours into your disappointment. Do your own wishes and desires not matter at all in this situation? Or does the unfolding of it only belong to Yoongi and you have no say in it? Are you to shut your mouth or speak up? 
He was the one who made a comment about your self-pleasure to Jungkook when he was fucking the shit out of you and picked up his phone to call him. I recall her saying your name would be pretty to moan while she played with her pussy. Why did he say it if the thought of you pleasuring yourself on the phone with his friend makes him jealous? Did he really think Jungkook wouldn’t latch onto it, not want it to play out in real life?
The uncertainty, the questions devour your gut, but you go back to the start. 
“That’s not what I asked.” 
Yoongi sighs. Hangs his head and rakes his hands through his hair. “I said—”
You suck in a breath. “That’s not what I asked,” you spit out with a venom that you didn’t mean and Yoongi finally looks at you—catches you closing your eyes at the rush of your emotions and turning your head away from him. “I want to know why.”
Yoongi scoffs. “How come you don’t know, huh?” His voice raises in volume and it paralyzes you with fear—he’s never yelled at you before. The question itself strikes you cold and you don’t like the feeling of it crawling up your legs. “How come I have to fucking remind you?” 
You’re embarrassed that you don’t know what he’s talking about, caught in the middle. You want to get out of this car and walk home, afraid—so terribly afraid of what might come next. Fuck the rain, you don’t care. 
Silence, intertwined with the long breaths that he’s trying to calm himself with, floods the car. You don’t know what to say and Yoongi keeps it at that. You consider the conversation finished. 
Your hand reaches for the handle. 
“Stay in the car.” 
Your back faces him. “I don’t want to be here.” 
“Then get drenched in the fucking rain.”
In disbelief, you turn around to look at him. Yoongi boils with anger, elbow propped on the door, index finger outstretched along his cupid’s bow, staring down the myriads of cars before him, setting them on fire with his gaze. 
“And I will,” you bark, frowning at him, needing to have the last word. “Don’t come running after me.” 
Your hand reaches the handle again and pops it open, your foot swinging over to the wet ground, but Yoongi grabs your leg and hauls you back inside, closing the door shut.
You open your mouth to yell at him. “What is your—”
Yoongi takes your face in his hand, puckers your lips and kisses you harshly. You groan, but you don’t fight it. In fact, you kiss him back, needing him—needing him warm and not cold to you. He stays nose-to-nose once he withdraws, watching as your irises dilate. The sadness that you catch whirling past his eyes punches you in the gut, hard enough that you regret the fight you’ve caused, regret every word you said and every action that can never be erased. You hate yourself for your desires, for your ugly soul and your abhorrence becomes an anchor wrapped around your heart, dragging it down. 
You whimper, but no tears come out. Yoongi pulls you onto his lap and cradles you, folding you into his chest. He rubs you back in circles, sweeps your hair to one side and you cling to his heat, wondering what the fuck just happened. 
You and him never had an argument before, never met each other halfway through the decaying meadow of negative feelings while being two opposite forces. You both were always there for the other person, absorbing their feelings, on their side through and through. Until now, you’ve truly never been two separate people with separate emotions and it’s a reality check. A breath of fresh air—the sudden, brisk disentanglement of an unhealthy attachment. 
Jungkook didn’t just make a ruckus out of your life, but out of your relationship, too. And by that ruckus, he healed it. 
And right then and there, you find the beginning to your sentence that you were searching for. 
“I’m sorry,” you whisper into the fabric of his polo shirt and your apology stops Yoongi’s motions. You lift your head to look into his eyes. “I should’ve checked in with you—I admit that. It was wrong of me. You’re allowed to not be okay with something and I should respect it, act accordingly, even when I might have a different opinion.” 
And your opinion shouldn’t change to be identical to his. Your thinking is your thinking. You’re your own person. 
The anchor loosens and falls from your heart when that understanding takes form within you. You feel much lighter. 
Yoongi frowns, but it doesn’t perturb you. Not anymore. “I will say this once so listen to me carefully,” he says, curling a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’m not letting him see you touch yourself because that belongs to me—that’s what we do. Remember that.” 
So that’s what he meant. Guilt clenches your heart in a deathly grip for not knowing, for not realizing it. 
“If you so much as touch your clit tomorrow when he fucks you, I won’t think twice to carry you away and leave him with blue balls,” he continues, keeping his hand on your cheek.  “You’re still mine, even when I’m letting him have you. You’re mine. You got that?” 
You place your hands on his shoulders and nod. 
“Are you still okay with it, though?” you ask, not expecting him to go along with it after this and you wouldn’t be disappointed, not anymore. The healing that took place is bigger than your desire. The freedom that you feel is better than anything your intimate parts ask for. Your relationship at this very state, at this very moment, has grown past the sexual part. Before it was just lustful love. “We don’t have to do it. Jungkook would understand, wouldn’t he?” 
Yoongi sighs and presses a kiss on your cheek. You feel all of his stress and wrath dispersing into your skin. “I want this for you, honey. You were so excited about it, so into it. I’ve never seen you filled with so much light before.” 
You do the same for him—you press the same kiss, on the same right side of his cheek. “So just tomorrow then?” 
A tight-lipped smile, like the one at the beginning of the night. Yoongi nods. “Just tomorrow.” 
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You disobeyed in every way you could. Brought panties and condoms. Left your red little robe at home. Didn’t look once at the lace little number you planned to pack. Decided you wanted to keep that for Yoongi’s eyes only. 
Decided you were going to paint your encounter with Jungkook with different colors, one that differs from the stained ones on your palette that you use with Yoongi. 
He wants you to be bad. Yoongi wants you to be good. 
It’s all your mind is suffused with as Yoongi drives into the woods and the sunlight spilling through the windshield, cutting through the trees, tempers it. No music, no conversation. 
You’re empty. You think the brown barks of the passing trees have more life in them than you do and along with that difference rise questions. Questions of what you’re allowed to do and what you’re not. Questions that you’re wary to ask. 
Not because there’s a lingering tension between you and Yoongi after the fight. As a matter of fact, he made love to you after you both ran for the door. Licked you clean of the rain while breathing in the heady scent of petrichor on your skin. All that had been broken was mended, beautifully. The reason why you’re nervous to ask is that you don’t want to venture back to that place of wrath. Where you are right now is a place of brisk freedom, one that you don’t want to leave, but to have a clear state of mind, you reckon you have to risk it. 
You place your hand on top of Yoongi’s on the gear stick, breaking the silence with your body language. You turn your torso halfway to face him. Meet his angelic early-afternoon-kissed countenance, hidden by his black shades and the long wisps of hair falling to each side of his face. 
Murmuring his name, Yoongi only hums at your call. 
“I have some questions,” you say slowly, carefully making your way to the place you’re timid to go to.
“Ask away, honey.” 
You swallow the lump in your throat. “I know I’m not allowed to touch myself and I won’t, I promise. But is there anything else that’s off limits?” 
Yoongi also swallows sorely, his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. He takes a moment to think about it and because you’ve already brainstormed what he might not like, you make it easy for him. 
“Is he allowed to kiss me?” you try, fingers grasping your dainty necklace to play with, to distract your nerves. 
“Kissing is a part of sex, but if you’re not comfortable with kissing him, you don’t have to. Please,” Yoongi says your name with a sigh. “Don’t force yourself to do anything that doesn’t feel good. I beg you.” 
A hit of your liquid emotions. A little vein of life springing in your body. You blink the sudden tears away, dipping your fingers into the space between his. You’re so grateful to have such a thoughtful, intelligent man like him. 
“Okay, what about blowjobs?” 
Yoongi sucks in a breath. Ponders it. “Well, that’s an important part of the kink, isn’t it?” He looks at you momentarily before bringing his eyes back to the road. “Watching your girlfriend suck someone else’s dick. That’s the appeal.” 
“Besides watching her get fucked.” 
He chuckles shortly. “That’s what I’m most excited about.” 
A soft smile. “You’re excited about watching me get fucked?” Yoongi nods, but you didn’t get the answer you wanted. You go back. “So you’re not comfortable with me sucking his—”
Yoongi sighs, rubbing his forehead before slapping his hand back down on the steering wheel. “I don’t know yet, honey. We’ll see when we get there.” He squeezes it, the white of his knuckle appears and you take a mental note of that. No blowjobs, or no overindulging in the act, more like. Not knowing is an answer, too. 
“And he’s allowed to eat me out?” 
He doesn’t smile as he says, “he’s skilled with his tongue. You’ll lose your mind. It’s all I could ever want for you.” 
You raise your brows in doubt. “No one is as skilled as you.” At that, his coy smile finally rises and you brush your thumb across the side of his hand. “Will you join in or are you just gonna watch?” 
Yoongi shifts the gear and speeds down the road. “I was planning to watch only, but I guess it depends on the situation. I’m willing to join if I feel like it.” He lifts your hand and kisses the soft skin. “You nervous, honey?” 
You still feel slightly empty, no nerves to be found. You shake your head ‘no’. 
“You’re gonna like it there. It’s a nice cabin.” 
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What Yoongi said was an understatement. 
When you witness the greenery enveloping the mountains, you stand gaping with your mouth half open. A warm summer wind billows in and out of the balcony, ushering in such liveliness and joy of life that you feel it slinking into each and every pore of your body, filling you up with all that you’ve been lacking. Giddiness clutches you and lingers, the flimsy curtains quivering against your thigh with each movement to and fro. You willingly become the nature—the sunlight and the slowly diffusing mist wrapped around the grays, blues and greens. The trees curtsy at your presence and a fond smile blossoms on your face. 
Now, at last, you can’t wait to get fucked. You’re glad it’s going to happen at such a lovely place like this. 
Jungkook, dressed in a white oversized T-shirt and a pair of cargos, takes your travel bag from Yoongi’s hand. He looks so soft that it’s hard to believe you’re staring at the same man from yesterday—he changes drastically when he’s aroused, like you takes on the likeness of the dark whenever he hears its call. It’s fascinating to you. 
“Come see the room upstairs.” 
Quietly, you and Yoongi follow him, your feet thudding along the wood of the stairs. And there, there your breath gets snatched altogether. 
A white, heavenly canopy above the king sized bed, white furniture—void of any dust—adorned with nourished plants that sway and rustle in the wind. The summer breathes through the open wide windows and in the corner, next to a dresser, a mirror stands, a mirror with a rocking chair right beside it that causes gooseflesh to prick at your skin. 
If this is where you’re getting fucked, Yoongi will have first row view of it. It’s as if Jungkook planned it all along and that speculation causes a shiver to run down your spine. 
Jungkook sets your bag and Yoongi’s on the mattress. Skims his surroundings in case there’s any untidiness that he hasn’t touched and one glance at Yoongi tells you that he spent the first half of the day cleaning up the place. 
Cute puppy. You and Yoongi share a smile. 
“This is where you’ll be sleeping,” Jungkook says, straightening his spine. 
“We’ll be sleeping?” you joke and the men shoot you a look, which makes you burst out into laughter. The sound blends into the song of the birds and the sway of the trees. You feel a spark of joy perk up in your chest. 
“I’ll fuck you to sleep.” 
Oh. 
He said it so casually that you feel hot all over. You glimpse at Yoongi, though his face utters no words of emotion. Eyes fixed at a point on the hardwood floors, hands in his pockets, teeth nibbling on his bottom lip. Did he not say he was excited to watch you get fucked? Have you made a mistake? 
You rake a hand through your hair, exhausted of your questions and doubt. 
Jungkook leads you back down to the main floor, but Yoongi stays behind. Wants to take a shower before lunch. Nervousness nips at your fingertips at the thought of being alone with his friend, but you nod anyways, having no other choice. 
You watch the swing of his body as he goes down the stairs, little wisps of hair bouncing on the back of his head that you find immensely endearing. They’re like some floppy ears of a puppy to you. Your breasts bounce as well with each skip down and you become aware of how full they are in your low neckline as with each movement your bare, pebbled nipples graze against its fabric, stimulating you, sending a familiar ache down to your intimate parts beneath the ruffles of your skirt. 
You need to be very careful from this moment on upon this dangerous territory. 
“I want to show you something,” Jungkook says, walking towards the balcony. He doesn’t look back at you, he just expects that you’re following him blindly and something about that overwhelms you peculiarly. You want to slap yourself for getting aroused so quickly—you just got here. 
He extends his arms along the railing and you saunter to his side, taking a peek above his shoulder but failing, miserably. All you face is the hard wall of his muscles, even when you lift yourself on your tippy toes and it makes you huff out a frustrated breath against the material of his T-shirt, despite the fact his tall form dampens your cunt—
Is it your ovulation day? Fuck, you make a mental note to check that later. 
Jungkook turns his head to look at you and chuckles. Grabs the back of your neck to push you closer to the railing and you fear your eyes will pop out of their sockets due to the way you widen them. The second body part he touched—one of many. You hope, you pray he keeps his hand there but he withdraws as soon as your fingers wrap around the wood of the railing. You narrow your lips in a tight line. 
He points to what he wanted to show you. You try your hardest to not notice the details of his tattooed hand, to ignore the silver ring around that index finger of his and the ghost of his touch on the nape of your neck. You close your eyes for a heartbeat to regain your composure before they catch the view he’s pointing to. 
A pond. A clear body of water under a thick weeping willow that wets its petals in the freshness of it. Your mouth parts. You sense his gaze on you, but you can’t reciprocate it. Not when such a lovely view like this lulls your soul, permeates it with the pleasure of beauty. 
“Can we get closer?” you ask, mesmerized completely. 
Jungkook grabs your elbow. Another body part. He drags you to another set of stairs. And you realize that the balcony is a veranda of some sort. The feeling of grass under your bare feet is exhilarating and, like a child, you begin to run to the pond, your skirt furling around you, exposing a sliver of your bottom. Jungkook lets you. Walks sluggishly with his hands in his pockets, watching you—smirking at that piece of skin he got to see. 
You crouch to touch the stillness of the water, your fingertips reflected upon it. The coldness, despite the steaming sunlight, is so refreshing and you long to take a dip, to fill your hot body with the briskness it so evidently needs. 
Standing upright, you twist to yap about how beautiful the scenery is—but Jungkook pushes you into the water. 
You were so wrong. So very wrong. 
Your feverish body didn’t need the coolness of the pond to dull your arousal because when you come up for air and your little outfit sticks to you body, your heartbeat picks up its speed, thumping in tandem with your clit. Jungkook wipes his smirking mouth at the sight of you and you’ve convinced that’s your undoing. 
Nipples stiffened through your little top. Skirt shrunken. Skin wet and glossy. You run your palms through your hair, squeezing water out of your strands, feeling sensual, confident and so fucking playful. You smirk right back at him when you wade your way to him. Pull your shoulders back, tits on full show for him, when you lift your leg onto the grass. 
And you stalk him down. You thought he’d move but he stays put. Those hands still in his pockets, those eyes zeroing down on yours—now different, now much smaller. Darker. Willing you to come after him. 
“Prick.” You screw up your face at him, your chest tightening, an inch away from his. 
Jungkook releases a breath. Grins smugly, briefly, swiping his tongue down the side of his inner cheek, as if he liked the fact you called him something like that. His irises drift down to your tits unabashedly and you swear you can see his hands twitching—
“You look pretty like this,” he murmurs, irises back on yours, twinkling, dilated. “Wet.” 
You blush. Ache to be touched. Think about Yoongi and whether he’s finished with his shower because you need to be attended to. Taken to a safe place where the pleasure of his words and energy can unfold, where you can enjoy it. But Jungkook hypnotizes you again—and you don’t know how he does it, how he manages to draw your body close to his without hands. You hate him for it. 
“Prick,” you repeat, more to yourself than him, drops of water trickling down every perimeter of your skin. 
Jungkook cups your chin, raising it to his level. “And what else?” 
You dart out your tongue and wet your mouth— slowly around the arc of your top lip to tease him. Then, you narrow your eyes even more at him. “Asshole.” 
Affectionately, he titters, influenced by your actions so much that you catch flecks of drunkenness in his features. It makes you feel so brilliant that you beam up at him and once his laughter softens, he reciprocates the grin. Like you and Yoongi had, but in a different way. 
The swish of the willow tree. A teetering bird. Jungkook fondles your glowy cheek. 
“Why didn’t you call me?” 
Your breath lodges in your throat but you push against it. Want to speak up. “I couldn’t.” 
He frowns. “But did you want to?”
You nod. The question causes you to blossom, shed the last of thorns left in your body from the attachment. He’s the only person you could say this to and naively you trust that he won’t peep a word to Yoongi. A relief bolts through you that you put yourself first and spoke your truth for the first time in your life. You understand the reason why Yoongi isn’t comfortable with that practice and you promised him you wouldn’t do it. Intending to keep your word, it doesn’t change your opinion, however. Your opinion being that there’s nothing wrong with letting him see this part of your sex life. 
It could be reversed. Jungkook being the one who watches. 
He wraps his fingers back around your chin, hovers his thumb an inch away from your lips, as if he’s fighting himself from touching them. “Tell me with your words.” 
A question that makes the time stand still. Do you listen or misbehave? 
The decision is fast. 
You press up your body against his. Jungkook sucks in a breath at the sensation of your stiffened nubs beneath his pecs, the water of the pond soaking through his T-shirt, marking your tits on him. You interlock your hands behind your back and Jungkook withdraws his hand. Surprises you when he lets it roam down your arm until he finds your clasped wrist. 
He’s waiting for your answer. You know he is. And you want to gratify the puppy. 
“I did want to rub my clit for you,” you breathe out and the hotness of his exhale envelopes you in a heat, even more so when his other hand grips your wrist and nuzzles you even further into the shadow of his body. 
Hard length against your tummy. The roundness of his nose nudging against yours. It’s too much, way too fucking much and you mewl—to which Jungkook immediately responds, approves of the sound, of your neediness and presses you closer to him, your tits squished against him. 
Lips above your ear, he whispers, “would you have called me or would you have let me see?” 
He takes both of your wrists into his fist and his other hand goes to your wet hair, smoothing down the strands. You find the gesture calming, calming enough for you to say, “let you see.” 
You inhale his scent—wood, vanilla and fabric softener. The fragrance of gentleness. 
“Hm, would you have fingered yourself for me?” Jungkook continues, pulling your hair so you look at him. No hint of darkness in his eyes, but tenderness—a healing kind of tenderness that makes you give yourself over to him. 
“Yes. More than once.” 
Jungkook grunts. Turns you around and flips your skirt to see if you’re wearing any panties. Is met with the bareness of your behind as your choice of underwear for the day is a white thong. Optical illusion. 
A quick heartbeat. Dry throat. 
He straightens you and presses you back against him—this time from behind. Lips to ear, the same one. You feel the shape of him on your palms. Thick. Big. You roll your eyes back. “On the count of three, you run and hide. If I find you, you get fifteen spanks for wearing panties when I specifically told you not to.” His breathing turns ragged, in sync with yours, the thought of punishing you turning him on. 
“What happens if you can’t find me?” You squeeze his full balls and you hear that grunt again, vibrating through you. 
“You don’t wanna know. Did you forget I have toys?” 
With that, he pushes you and you gaze back at him with horror—a lustful horror that blazes you. What kind of toys does he have? You want to find out, badly enough that you don’t mind misbehaving. 
Jungkook begins to count. 
You don’t wait until you hear the number three before you run for your life. 
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Inside the cabin, near the balcony, you bump into Yoongi’s naked chest. And you don’t have time to react before Yoongi scowls down at you, ridding you of any sounds of shock that desire to pour out of you. 
“Why the fuck are you wet?” he asks, bracing you with both hands, skimming a glance upon the sight of you. 
You panic. “Yoongi, I—”
A creak on the hardwood floors behind you. You round your brows. Will you ever make a decision on your own? Your fate was, again, picked for you. By Yoongi, by Jungkook—who didn’t give you enough time to hide. 
Even a tendril of disappointment doesn’t have time to perforate your being because you sense another hand on the ruffle of your dripping skirt. 
“Tell me why you didn’t take the second to make sure she was bare for me? You don’t check her holes?” 
A deep, indignant murmur. Not expressed towards you, but towards your boyfriend. Yoongi’s scowl deepens, but you smile through your shock—the sun leaking through the clouds—and you sneak a finger along the definition of his abdomen that tenses under your touch. A conveyance that it has begun—that he should play along. You nod your head even, shortly, letting him know it’s okay. 
Yoongi relaxes. Drifts his hands to your palms, holds them. Flicks his eyes to Jungkook above your head. Swallows. “She’s a brat that has a mind of her own,” he says and perhaps he’s right. Now you get to be one, at last. “She didn’t even pack her robe. Did she tell you that?” 
You freeze. Jungkook fists your skirt. 
Lips back to your ear. Heat radiating. You hope Yoongi didn’t see the marks of your breasts on his T-shirt. “Is that right?”
Vigor courses through you. You get to be a brat. And the possibility makes you feel infinitely alive. 
“Yes,” you giggle, and when Yoongi gives you an endearing smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling, you find that safe place you were searching for, that you needed. “I figured I should be naked for the occasion.” 
Jungkook scoffs. “And yet you disobeyed me. Do you even use your brain or are you just that horny?” 
Your lashes quiver at that, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip, feeling stupid, although you know the reason behind your defiance. 
Jungkook doesn’t wait for your response. He pushes you towards Yoongi until you collide into his chest. If your panties weren’t drenched from the pond, his manhandling would’ve taken care of that already. “Turn her around and strip her.” 
You panic. Fear that Yoongi will see your tits on his T-shirt. Noticing your emotions, Jungkook understands. Pinches the back of his shirt and flings it on the back of the couch. Broad shoulders, big pecs, deeply defined abdominal muscles and the lines of his V leading into his intimate parts. No happy trail. Jungkook smiles at your relief. Your body flutters. 
Yoongi’s hands grasp the hem of your soaked top and swiftly pull it over your head, making your full breasts bounce from the impact. He can’t help but knead them, face nuzzling into the crook of your forest-scented neck to pepper kisses there, and you catch the protest in Jungkook’s eyes—only to watch it dwindle away with the slow realization that he can’t tell your boyfriend not to touch you. 
It makes you whimper. And the licks of Yoongi’s tongue and harsh kisses merely heighten that sound. 
He continues as his hands find the waistband of your skirt and drag it down your hips until it plops onto the floor. And to fully present you to him at last, he hooks his thumbs under your thong—at which Jungkook shakes his head, disapproving. Walking towards you, he kneels before you and Yoongi blows on the traces of saliva he left on the side of your neck. Shivers, ones that Jungkook smooths down on your thighs to calm you down before he rips your panties in one motion. 
If Yoongi wasn’t holding you, you’d fall to the floor—your legs boneless, jelly. 
Like a leaf out in the forest, your ruined thong plummets to your feet. Jungkook lifts your ankle, helping you step out of it. Throws the scrap on top of his T-shirt, perhaps as a keepsake. 
He doesn’t rise. Gazes upon your cunt, instead. Upon the glistening of your folds and lips, the swollenness of your clit. You part your legs wider for him. In appreciation, he looks up at you and strokes the back of your knee. Pupils dilated, the black swallowing the brown. And when Yoongi presses his length against you, pinches your nipples and you roll your eyes back, your attention stolen, Jungkook rises to his feet. 
Licks his fingers and places them on your clit, starting a speedy series of circles—and you can’t catch your breath. Not when Yoongi rolls your nipples under his digits, not when Jungkook narrows his eyes at you and commands, “apologize.” 
The pleasure overwhelms you so fast and you can’t speak. Can’t for the life of you remember how to apologize and what for, especially not when you grind your ass against Yoongi’s length and he grunts into your ear, not when you’re aware of the quickening of Jungkook’s breath. 
Briefly, Jungkook speeds up his pace before he plunges the same wet digits into your hole. Doesn’t let you adjust, but instead keeps filling you to the brim. Then, with the same rapidness, he fucks you. 
And you can’t stop yourself from coming and drenching his hand. The second fastest orgasm of your life. Your drops of essence are added to the pile of chunks of dry mud, grass and the pond water dripping from your hair on the floor. 
Jungkook withdraws, completely. And you feel cold without his heat, without his closeness. “Why did you come?” 
Yoongi begins to focus on your earlobe and you perceive the smug, proud smirk on his mouth. You don’t know what to say—beyond overwhelmed, beyond fucked out. All you know is that you don’t have enough, that you need more, that you hated how quickly your orgasm came upon you. 
Jungkook takes Yoongi’s hands gently and rearranges them. The right one on your cunt, the left one on your jawline. To your surprise, he lets him. Something about that coaxes a string of your wetness to trickle down your thigh. 
Yoongi’s hold on your chin is rough, causing a litany of soft mewls to spill out of your mouth as you wait for the next move. Needy, horny. And your mewls turn into loud moans that waft out into the forest when Jungkook grips your tits, pushes them together and licks against both of your nipples, your whole body fluttering, trembling, weak and stimulated. Yoongi begins to rub your clit and Jungkook catches you go cross-eyed, stifling his chuckle, but smiling at you regardless. 
Drawing close to you until your bare, wet nipples come into contact with his skin, he glimpses at your mouth once before boring his eyes into yours. “Apologize,” he says lowly. “Apologize for wearing panties.” 
Yoongi squeezes your cheeks, puckering your mouth, despite the fact this is something you only do together. Then, Jungkook tilts his head to the side and kisses you softly, owning you entirely. The puffy tenderness of his mouth, the gentleness which he pressed that kiss with—Yoongi squeezes your cheeks even harder, opening your jaw, giving Jungkook the green light to use his tongue and you’re gone. 
You’re gone when Jungkook swipes his tongue on top of yours. Gone when he toys with it, swirls around it for a moment before closing his lips around yours, kissing you deeply—the smacking sound so loud in your ears, so delicious that you moan, losing your strength to stand and sagging a little bit in Yoongi’s arms. 
“Fuck,” you utter once he lets you breathe and even through the hypnosis, the hot flashes signaling the upcoming of your second orgasm and the blurriness of your vision, you can see how much that kiss affected him. 
Softening glossy eyes, features loosening—smirk wiped clean, unbelief, wooziness and arousal in its place instead. Mouth parted, puffy, shiny with saliva. A beautiful, extraordinary sight. 
“She can’t apologize, but she can swear,” Jungkook comments, but it doesn’t reflect the turmoil happening on the inside of him. And it doesn’t explain what he does next. 
He kisses you again. More gently than before. A slight whirl of tongue around yours before he closes his lips against you all over again. Although this time, he doesn’t stop. He pinches your nipples with his fingers, over and over, while moving his mouth against yours, a slow ripple of the pond behind you if there ever was one. And you feel the heat, the sweat coating your body and you feel Jungkook feeling you come. You don’t have to make a sound. He knows. 
Your orgasm is a deep current moving through you. Like that kiss. You lose yourself in it, eyes rolled back into darkness, fluttering to and fro—from light to dark—and when you resurface, you find Jungkook’s cavernous, enthralled gaze fixed on you, fixed on the forging process of your orgasm taking roots in you. 
Yoongi lets you drop to the floor, breathless. Jungkook shoots him a dirty look, but you reach for the button of his pants, not caring. He stops you with a gentle grasp of your wrist. Bends to your level. 
“You’re not sucking dick. Not mine, not his,” Jungkook snarls, helping you stand to your feet. Hooks an arm under your knees and back and lifts you into his arms—carries you upstairs, without any other words spared. 
He sets you on the bed. Gently cleans your feet with a wet cloth and when he’s done, he takes a seat on the white rocking chair across from you. Palms his length briefly before he manspreads, propping his elbows on his thighs like he did at dinner. Once Yoongi arrives, he pats your head and caresses your hair, an apology for letting you fall. You’re on the verge of tears. 
Jungkook doesn’t even look at him. “Fifteen spanks from him for wearing panties. Fifteen more from me for not apologizing. To me.” 
Yoongi never spanked you. You recognize it’s as much of a punishment for him as it is for you. They haven’t been friends for a day. Jungkook must be very well aware of Yoongi’s disliking of any impact play. He might like to make you cry during sex, but he never uses violence to do so. He uses his words, his dominance and his length. 
Jungkook is teaching him a lesson for letting you drop to the floor. And it coaxes an onrush of foreign emotions to swarm within you. You’re touched. Deeply, deeply touched. 
So much that you don’t take in the fact you’re getting spanked thirty times. 
Yoongi scowls and you’re sick of seeing it. Getting on your knees, you wait for him to sit down. He remains standing. 
Jungkook clicks his tongue. “Sit down, hyung.” 
Power play. He has no business ordering him around and calling him hyung while at it. Has no business to be in control when he’s the bull. Your essence sticks to your thighs. 
“I’m not spanking her,” Yoongi mutters. “Do it yourself.” 
Jungkook leans back, a finger to his temple. Darkness soaks him in heat and he shines, dimly. “You allowed it to happen, so you punish her. For me.” In other words: You dropped her, so you’re getting punished. 
Yoongi has no other choice. You can see the defeat wrung into his face and he doesn’t look at his friend as he sits down. You do. 
And the look you share should mangle your heart, but it doesn’t. You should feel bad that you’re on his side and not on Yoongi’s, but you don’t. 
Purposefully, you angle your pussy so Jungkook has a perfect view of her as you crawl on Yoongi’s lap. One leg on the mattress, the other in the middle of his thighs—
“Lie down,” Jungkook orders and you listen, immediately, plopping down on Yoongi’s lap, making him gasp. 
Yoongi cages you in. Pushes you farther towards his back, but you fight against it. You want to look at Jungkook when you’re getting spanked by your boyfriend for the first time, and so you twist your torso to the side. Just in time to catch a sunray penetrating his aura of darkness, enkindling him softly. 
With his hand wrapped around his still clothed cock, Jungkook nods at Yoongi. You didn’t even realize he was waiting for his signal. Your pussy drools. Jungkook squeezes his girth in response. 
The first spank is tender. And so is the second and the third. Jungkook sighs, rubbing his temple, but he doesn’t say anything. Not yet. 
Fourth and fifth—it gains a small amount of intensity, barely. Sixth and seventh, he rubs both of your cheeks as if it hurt, when in reality it was a caress to you. 
Jungkook slowly blinks at you, telling you to be patient through that gesture. 
Because it’s the tenth one that makes you gasp. The prickling pain coursing through your body, pooling at your core—your core that shows him how much you liked that sharp spank. Jungkook smiles, proven right. 
Yoongi’s breath shakes. His cock twitches against your stomach. 
“Harder,” Jungkook mutters, his own breath quick, eyes never leaving yours. “For the last five. And faster.” 
Yoongi obeys. Your moans grow in volume with each spank, your bottom painted in faint red. Yoongi quickly pulls you up to face him, brushing your hair away from your face. 
“You liked that?” he asks in disbelief, eyes flicking between yours, looking for any hint of discomfort. 
You nod. “I need—” Him, you don’t say. You can’t. 
The rocking chair creaks. Jungkook walks towards you. You twist your body again to meet him halfway and he caresses your cheek, rewarding you. You go to turn your body wholly, but Jungkook stops you, holding you steady by the waist. While you still straddle Yoongi, knees on either side of his thigh, he gently prompts you to lift up your bum against him, arching your back, tits in Yoongi’s face. 
“Stay like this,” he whispers into the waterfall of your hair and as you rub your cheeks against his manhood slowly, he hums, pressing a deep kiss onto your scalp. “Hold onto his shoulders.” 
You do as he says. As if Yoongi knows something you don’t, he latches his hands onto the back of your knees, clamping you down on the mattress. 
The first spank causes you to squeeze your eyes shut, pain so acute striking your body like flashes of lightning. And unlike Yoongi, Jungkook doesn’t stop. He keeps spanking you, each hit harder and more painful than the one before and you lose count of how many you’ve taken. You grip Yoongi’s good shoulder with all your might, wrapping your other hand around his neck. 
You like the pain. You like the pain so much that you stay still. And because of that, Jungkook tilts your chin so you can look at him, coming to your side and propping a knee on the mattress. You see amusement and amazement swimming in his eyes when you finally open yours, dazed. He smiles at you, softly and tenderly. And you pucker your lips at him, asking for a kiss. 
Jungkook willingly obliges. Gives you a deep peck full of meaning that you don’t know the language of yet—and it sinks down your body, makes a bed there. The coldness of his lip ring turns you whiny. Jungkook kisses you over and over again, just to hear your sounds. 
Yoongi is red when you glance down at him. He’s at loss for words and there’s a puzzling look to his face that you don’t want to decipher. 
“Five more,” Jungkook whispers, tracing the outline of your abused, sensitive ass. “Can you handle five more? You’ve taken it so well so far.” 
“Yes, please,” you breathe out and the fact you asked for it makes both of the males still. Jungkook sneaks a hand between your legs and circles your hole, gathering your arousal, teasing you, finding you wetter than before. 
Yoongi begins to suck on your nipples. And when Jungkook finishes his punishment faster than you anticipated or even noticed, your bum burning, you could come like this—but you don’t. Jungkook sticks his tongue down your throat, does what Yoongi does on your nipple and you begin to tremble, making a mess on Yoongi’s thigh. 
As if pitying the abuse, Jungkook kneels before you and peppers gentle, wet kisses on the red flecks of your disobedience, making it right, healing it. Careful with his lip ring, careful not to suck on the skin. 
Then, he places a singular kiss on your clit, making you shiver. Stands to his feet. Walks over to his dresser. “Both of you lean back against the headboard. You against his chest. Keep her legs open, hyung.” 
You hiss at the change of positions, your cheeks hurting, even when Yoongi places a pillow underneath your butt. It worries him, your expression of pain and he tries to alleviate it by kissing you. There’s so much difference to the way he does it that it makes you emotional, drags you deeper into the madness of your hypnosis. 
“You enjoyed that?” Yoongi asks, knuckles brushing against the side of your face, as if he truly can’t believe you enjoyed the inflicting of pain. 
And you’d want it again, if your skin wasn’t so sore. 
“I loved it, Yoongi.” 
Shock flares in his eyes and you look away. 
Jungkook crawls upon the bed with a pink toy in his hand. A small egg with a small gap in the top half. You smile at him, excitement surging in you, and he reciprocates it. Lifts your leg to your shoulder and Yoongi holds it in place. 
“Butt hurts?” Jungkook asks, noticing the pillow, and you nod. “Good.” 
You laugh, softly. 
Placing a hand on your mound, covering it entirely, he brushes his thumb across your cunt, checking your arousal, spreading it on your clit. Doesn’t think there’s enough, which you find ridiculous, and he spits on her, making you moan. Turns the toy on. 
“Spit on her again,” you command, grinding your hips, feeling the trail go down to your hole. 
Jungkook smirks at you. “Filthy girl.” 
Bends to your cunt and spits at her again, tongue darting out to lightly keep the liquid love, where he wants it to be. And you mewl, welcoming his tongue on your clit, and you yearn for more, lifting your pelvis even though it hurts, but Jungkook withdraws. Places the toy on it, thumb clicking on the intensity, rising it, rising it high so much that you widen your eyes—
It sucks on your clit. 
You cry out, pleasure seizing you in its grasp and all you can do is close your eyes and feel it. It paralyzes you, takes your breath and—
“Look at me.” 
You can’t. 
“I know it feels good, but I’m not letting you have it until you look at me.” 
He takes the toy away. You grip his tattooed arm, opening your eyes. 
“Please, Jungkook—”
He doesn’t listen to your plea. Lifts your other leg. Doesn’t give it to Yoongi—keeps his hand there, nice and firm. Begins to concentrate on the back of your thigh, leaving behind wet marks of red and purple, tongue sliding on the skin before he sucks on it, keeping his eyes on you as he does it. You grab a hold of his hair. Soft, so silkily soft, short and healthy. You imagine the tiny petals on the weeping willow outside have the same softness. 
You’re spellbound. Jungkook places the toy back on your clit, pleasure flooding you—now more fervent and extreme, with his puffy lips still sucking your skin in tandem. And hearing your moans, Jungkook fires them back at you, setting your body ablaze. 
“That’s it. Keep looking at me,” he husks and Yoongi squeezes your other thigh, kissing your hair, reminding you he’s here with you. But he’s not the one who moans along with you. It’s Jungkook. Your eyes lid, but you try your hardest to keep them open, your feverish body swaying, the nearness of your orgasm at hand. “Yes, like that. I’m gonna make you come for me.” 
Letting go of your thigh, he sinks the two of his fingers inside your heat, gasping along with you. Stuffing you to the brim like he did before, he doesn’t have to fuck you fast to bring you over the edge. He moves the toy from side to side—and it’s the feeling of fullness, the twist of his features as if he was the one pleasured that makes you come all over his hand, the pillow and the bedding. 
It’s like being submerged under the water of the pond and you keep your eyes open the entire time, the endearment on his face and his attentiveness taking care of you, watching over you as he talks you through your orgasm. 
“Don’t hold back for me, yes, take it, baby. Good, so good, I know,” he says it in such undertones that you sob, emotions rushing out along with your release, trickling out of your tear ducts. You feel so safe and so well taken care of, so content that you don’t shy away from your feelings. You let both males be witnesses to it. 
It’s Jungkook first, who reacts. Brows knitted, he wipes your tears away. And it’s him who decides to take a break. 
“Let’s eat lunch.”
Your focus is enveloped around him so tightly that you don’t even know how your boyfriend reacted to your tears. You don’t feel him when he lets go of your leg and stands up to his feet to dress. It’s Jungkook who cleans you and checks the redness of your ass if there are any bruises. 
Yoongi doesn’t wait for you as he goes down the stairs. 
And it’s you who feels defeated now. And when Jungkook looks at you, he knows. 
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{She Gets The Flowers, Right?} Reader x Lucien {Pt.2}
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Welp. Here we are. Didn't know this was gonna happen. I had ZERO INTENTIONS of writing a part two but I basically got cyber bullied into making another so here ya go fuckers. Someone literally threatened to stop taking their meds so to whoever that was I hope you get to keep your kidney! Enjoy! This part is inspired by this song.
Word Count: 6,111
Warnings: ANGST (yall thought you’re gonna get a happy ending? HAHAHAH) Some pretty negative self talk.
Tagging: @bubybubsters @cyrygher @thelov3lybookworm @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @anuttellaa @lookingforamissingpage @thehighlordishere @crazylokonugget
Summary: In the days and weeks that follow your downfall with Lucien, he has no fucking clue how to go about life without you. He can’t cope. And he desperately wants to fix everything with you.
~~~~~~~
LUCIEN’S POV
I have made the biggest mistake of my entire life. I thought that would be reserved for not being able to protect Jesminda. No. This… this is… I don’t even know.
I’m just standing on the sidewalk, staring at our- her home. At the rustic, auburn door we painted. At its brass knob, at the rusty, creaking hinges that would ring through the house when someone came in. At the little potted plant in the corner, the vines spilling out of it. 
I’ll never be back here again. 
I’ll never get to hear her laugh.
I’ll never get to taste her new recipes.
I will never be able to take all that I said back. That is the most haunting feeling of it all.
I’m an awful person. After all she’s done for me. After saving my life– on more than one occasion– I went and did nothing in return. I gave her nothing for her endless kindness. All I was capable of doing was destroying the one person in my life who has given me everything I’ve ever wanted. 
Unconditionally. She always loved me unconditionally. How could I have been so blind and naive to it? How did I never see it? 
Gods every single time she made me something to eat, a recipe to try… she was basically shoving the bond in my face, hoping I would see it. And I never ever considered it. I was so lost in Elain. Lost in the fact that I finally had feelings for someone after Jesminda… Not once did I think it could be Yn. 
I don’t deserve her. I never did. I was a bitter, rotten shell of a man when she met me. She dragged me by the arms to her house to fix me. She thought I was worthy of being saved when my own father thought the opposite. Yn put me back together. She made me who I am. And this is the thanks I give her?
Elain has said all of ten sentences to me in the past year. I haven’t been able to do anything but replay every single one of them in my head. A thousand times– a hundred thousand times. I wish I couldn’t. It’s exhausting. Constantly thinking of her. But I don’t have a choice. 
I like the feeling of being able to feel again. But at the cost of Yn? At the complete sacrifice of all I’ve known for the past century? My rock? My best friend? Nothing is worth more. 
But it is far too late to do anything about it. I’ve lost her.
I want her back. 
Yn did things to me that no one else could. She just seemed to know when things were wrong. She always knows what to say, when to say it, and how. She never tells you what you want to hear, it’s always what you need. She is the most well rounded person I’ve ever met. She’s never afraid to feel her emotions. 
I envy that skill.
I’ve always hid my feelings deep down. It took years to decipher them again. But it was Yn who made me do it. She always fought for me, fought me for me. Yn never let me do it alone. Refused to, actually. Was there every step of the way and never told me I was taking too long or wasting her time. 
I get it now.
And there is nothing I can do. I have nowhere to go. Tears scald my eyes as I trudge down the little path that we beat into the grass. Day in and day out. 
I remember when we picked this place. We had only been in Velaris for a week or two when we stumbled across it. It was run down and needed a new roof. As a thank you for keeping Feyre safe on our journey across the Courts, Rhysand gifted it to us. Complete with a new roof, new furniture, a new kitchen for Yn to cook in. And he let us be. Well, let her be. I still had my debts to pay off. 
And then I met Elain and… fuck. Everything went to shit after that. 
There is no way of processing all of these emotions at once. These very real feelings I still have for Elain. And these all-of-a-sudden very fucking real feelings I now have for Yn. It’s how I imagine imploding feels like. My body wants to cave into itself and never fold back out. 
I pray to the Cauldron that I do self destruct. This feeling, a mixture between irrational rage and betrayal… I don’t wish it upon another living soul. And Gods know I’d sell mine to change everything I’ve just done. 
I don’t even know how I ended up at the Town House. All of a sudden I was just standing in front of it. I normally resent coming here, but for some reason I was relieved to see the bricks and busted up cobblestone sidewalk. Maybe no one would be here; Rhys was more often than not at the River House with Feyre and Nyx, indulging in the life of parenthood. Nesta and Cassian were probably somewhere in the House of Wind with Elain, Mor at Rita’s, Amren with Varian, and who the hell knows where Azriel is.
I can’t wait to be alone to scream. 
Fuck, the door is locked. Of course the door is locked, no one’s here. It takes every bit of control in my shiver-ridden body to not rip the door off its hinges. And it takes even more control to not collapse against the door and break down for the whole street to see. 
The lock clicks and the door opens. 
I force myself to appear relaxed. I wipe my tears and brush away my loose strands of hair. No use. My face is probably as red as the burning self hatred inside my twisted heart. 
“What are you doing here Lucien?” The High Lord asks. 
I gulp. Of all the people, it had to be him? At least it’s not Azriel, I think. I might hate him more than I hate myself. For actually getting Elain’s attention. Yn was right, I am selfish. “Sorry, didn’t realize you were in.”
“Did you leave something?” I don’t move, and I stay deathly still. Rhys looks me head to toe, and I know he can scent me from a mile away. “Lucien, what the fuck did you do?”
“Stay the fuck out of my head,” I snarled, pointing a finger at his chest. 
“I don’t need to read your thoughts. Your face says it all.”  Rhys crosses his arms over his chest, “Look, we’ve all told you that Elain is hard to reach these days. She isn’t worth-”
“This… this doesn’t have anything to do with Elain.” I lied. He seemed to know it. “Can I just come in?”
Rhys just steps aside, shutting the door behind me. “I don’t really have time for-”
“I fucked up.”
“Clearly.”
“Rhysand,” I said. So full of disgust. He looked at me with a blank expression. One I have seen too many times to not know what comes next. I eased up my tone. “Is anyone else here?”
“No,” he answers, moving around me and heading into a study on the other side of the living room. 
I can’t help but think of how we all gathered in that living room a few months ago for Solstice. Exchanging gifts and drinks and smiles and stories. I vividly remember making Yn laugh so hard she tipped her head over the arm of the couch, sending her wine tumbling to the ground. The stain still on the small rug almost makes me smile, and it almost makes me burst into tears. 
“I ruined everything in my life. Yn’s gone.” I could feel the air freeze around me. “Not like, gone gone but she’s… I don’t think I’ll ever be seeing her again.”
“So this is because of Elain.”
I bit my tongue so hard I thought I’d bite it off completely. But I sighed, the tears coming with it. “Yes.” A really long pause. “She told me I’m-”
“You’re Yn’s mate?”
“Yes.”
“And you never knew because you were so focused on Elain.” “Is that supposed to be a question?”
“It was, but you just gave me your answer,” Rhys sat. “Do you want me to keep guessing or are you going to tell me what happened?”
I took the biggest breath I could, steading my words. “I missed the opening of her restaurant because I was with Elain.”
Rhysand looked at me with such revulsion that I thought he might put me through a wall. Those wicked, violet eyes could’ve boiled my bones. For a split second I wished he would. I could tell he wanted to say something, but I don’t think there were enough words in the world for how much of an awful person I was. 
“There are things in this world that we sacrifice in this world Lucien,” Rhys said.
Hesitantly, “I know.” 
“And Yn gave up the biggest of them all. She shut her mouth to let you be happy. She did what I did for Feyre until she realized what situation she was in. You are one spineless bastard for doing anything but giving your life to her.”
“I know.”
“Have you any idea what you’ve done to her? She gave you everything you could ever ask for. From the moment the two of you stepped in my Court I could tell she only had eyes for you. When you are in the room you’re the only one she looks at. How could you have not known?”
“I don’t know…” “Yes, you do.”
I plunged my nails into my palms. “For Cauldron's sake Rhysand of course I know.”
“Then why did you continue to ignore Yn?”
“Because I couldn’t ever let myself think a female like her would like such a broken, dismantled and lost soul like mine.” Rhysand stared at me. “When Yn pulled me from the border to fix me, she spent every waking moment of her life stringing my mind and body into one piece. If I let myself think for even a second that it was anything other than kindness, I would’ve gone mad.”
“Would it have been so terrible to love her?”
“I’ve always loved her. I just never thought I’d be allowed to love her the way she loves me.”
“Because of Elain?” “Because of Elain.”
Rhys blew out a breath, sitting down on the corner of his desk. “So, let me see if I have all of this correct. You wouldn’t let yourself fall for Yn because you thought you were unworthy. Instead, you sabotaged both of your happiness for Elain simply because she was your mate and you just wanted to feel something?”
“It sounds so much more fucked when you say it outloud.” I rubbed my hands over my tired, burning eyes. “And it’s not just because she’s my mate, Rhys. I genuinely like her. She’s… she has the potential to be so sweet. I’ve seen glimpses of it, heard stories from Feyre and Nesta. Why won’t she let me see?”
“You are still clueless, aren’t you?” He scoffed. “Here you are, a ruined man because you drove away your best friend, and you’re still worried about someone who doesn’t want you. Pathetic. You are a selfish son of a bitch.”
“I can’t just ignore Elain. It’s impossible to think of anything else but her and how I can help her.” “Lucien,” Rhysand stopped me from going on another tangent. “Maybe start considering that she doesn’t want you.”
“What?” My lip trembled. “N-No she… we have a bond. It’s there she just needs time. I’m her mate, she’ll want one eventually.”
“Just like Yn will want one?” His eyes were as viscous as the tone of his voice. “You are doing the same thing to Yn that Elain is doing to you. You understand how that feels. Now imagine that Elain was the one you found on the border of the Spring Court and you spent decades nursing her mind back into her body. Recreating her personality and passions. Wouldn’t you be a little fucking irate if she started showing interest in another male after all you did for her?”
I froze.
This was so much deeper than I ever thought it could be. But I could see it. Bringing Elain back to herself all for it to be thrown away by another male. Azriel filled that roll, and I was filled with raw fury at the mere thought of that happening. 
“So now you see what Yn has been dealing with. And Gods, Lucien, she has been dealing with it for a long while. What you did was wrong, unjust, and unfair. And for you to be with Elain on the day of her grand opening, where all of us just were, is… that may be unforgivable.”
“I don’t deserve to be forgiven for what I’ve just done…”
My shoulder hunch, and my chest cracks. I am a bleeding mess of tears. I can barely stand as I openly sob in front of Rhys. I’m surprised when he shoves a chair under me instead of letting me crumble to the floor in my self induced agony. And I’m even more surprised when he puts a hand on my shoulder. 
It’s Yn. It’s always been Yn. There is nothing in this world that can compare to her or her kindness or her love. What a fool I have been to not take the hand that was given me. What a selfish, self-serving waste of a man I have been to her. 
I can’t take it. I have to have her back. I have to fix this. I have to. I have to. I have to. 
I stand. “Woah, what are you doing?” Rhys tried to get me to sit down. 
“Yn- I have to fix this with Yn-”
“No,” Rhys slams me back into the chair. “You are not going to march back over there.”
“I have to,” I yelled. “I can’t let her kick me out without her knowing that I’m sorry. That I’ll do anything she wants me to to win her back. I can’t be without her, I need her.”
“She kicked you out?” I nodded. “You’re not going anywhere. She clearly doesn’t want to see you. Nothing you could say to her would suffice. Especially right now. She needs time. She needs space. If I find out that you go back to your- her house, I’ll drop you back in the Spring Court, do you understand me?”
I nod viciously. 
“Good,” Rhys let out a heavy breath. “You can have your old room back. Nothing in it but a few storage boxes. Everything is otherwise untouched.” Great. My old memories to haunt me. Just what I needed. For a very short week we stayed here. Yn’s room was right across from mine. Just another reminder of everything that’s happened between now and then. 
I slump in the seat, letting tears trickle down my nose and onto my knee. Watching them evaporate and dry, just for the material to be soaked again. “I’m so sorry Yn…”
I heard Rhys whirl around, and I could feel the tension across the room. He probably thinks I’m mad. I might as well be. 
More footsteps sounded than people in the house and Cassian walked in the room. Luckily I was facing away from him. “Don’t tell me he’s a part of our special detachment.”
I rolled my eyes. Cassian, ever the charming.
“No, he’s… well, he’ll be living here for a little while.”
“Do I wanna know?”
“It’s none of your business,” I snapped. No one spoke. I sighed for what felt like the billionth time today. “Sorry.”
“What happened?” Cassian asked, coming to stand next to me, his body reeking of sweat and dirt. All I had to do was lift my head and I think he understood enough. That or Rhys told him. “I won’t say anything cause I’ll probably just make it worse.”
“Probably,” Rhys nodded. 
“Probably.” My eyes burned, so did my skin. “I have to get all my stuff out tomorrow. She told me to.”
“Then you’ll do it tomorrow. Not tonight, tomorrow. Respect her wishes, or I will make you.”
“I heard you the first time.”
“We’ll be back,” Rhys grabbed a few things from his desk then ushered Cassian out the door. “Don’t do anything. Just stay here.”
It could’ve been twenty minutes or two hours until I finally moved upstairs. Forcing myself to not go to Yn’s room was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. All the conversations we had, all the plans we made. It’s where she first got the idea of her restaurant. She literally had a dream and made it a reality. 
I’d be lying if I said I told her how proud of her I was. I never have. Why have I never told her that? Could I really have been that caught up in Elain that… Wow. It’s funny how you only realize after the fact. 
My bed caught me as I collapsed into it, tucking my knees into my chest. I am such a loser. Pathetic. Just like Rhys said. My heart would burn up and die at this rate. It was a mystery how I hadn’t burst into flames yet. 
There are so many things I need, and Yn takes the top of the list. She had always been everything I needed. When I needed comfort, I went to Yn. When I needed solutions, I went to Yn. When I needed answers, to be heard, to be validated, to be loved… who was I supposed to go to now? Definitely not Rhys or Cassian, and certainly not Elain.
Maybe for the first time ever I wanted nothing to do with Elain. I didn’t want to see her. I couldn’t care less if I ever saw her again. Her presence in my life has done nothing but tear my other relationships apart. 
She’s the reason I’m here in this mess.
_____
At some ridiculous hour of the night– morning? Is that the sun?– I heard the door open. I shot up, then deflated down. I wasn’t in my bed. I wasn’t at home. And that wasn’t Yn walking in the door. 
Every thought and emotion rushed back into my head, creating an endless tangle of thoughts. The next more horrid and self destructive than the last. I deserve it. 
Missing the opening of her restaurant, Latibule–an ancient word for refuge or safe place–was the biggest mistake of my life. I will never be able to make that up to her. I turned her biggest accomplishment into a slimy, diseased memory. I ruined what was supposed to be the best night of her life.
I’ve let her down in a way I’ll never be able to repair. 
Even Rhys and Feyre were there last night. And I wasn’t. Nesta and Cassian. Azriel, Amren, Mor… they were all there, supporting her. And I was with Elain. She probably wanted to go, and I was there, holding her back. 
I need to get out of this room before it crushes me whole.
I could see the sun just barely peeking over the Sidra when I stepped outside, cloak wrapped tightly around my head and shoulders to keep out the early morning bite. 
There wasn’t a soul around, Velaris still blissfully asleep besides this one small corner store that sold hot tea and pastries all hours of the day. Rustling in my pocket was just enough for a peach turnover and a cherry blossom tea. 
The bell chimed above the door as I walked in, knocking my boots against the step to not track dirt in. 
“Early start to the day, Luc?” Ms. Immy smiled from behind the counter, polishing a few mugs before moving to come to the display case, packed full of delicious goods, savory and sweet. 
“Unfortunately,” I sighed. “Couldn’t really sleep.”
“Well I am glad to have you in, the usual?”
“That would be great, Ms. Immy.” 
The lovely owner of the bakery was Ms. Immy. One of the older members of the Night Court but as wise as they come. She’s the kindest, most gentle fae to roam Prythian. With her soft, sage green eyes and long, slender ears adorn with piercings, Ms. Immy was by far one of my favorites here. 
The kettles whistled behind her as she dipped a tea bag into my mug. Ms. Immy always had designated mugs for her regular customers. Mine was made of green clay, mostly green with a white oval on the front with two lines of flowers. In the center of it all was a simple fox. She once told me that I had the spirit of one of those extinct creatures in the human lands. That I was reserved, and at my core I fiercely protected those I cared about.
If only I had been able to protect Yn from myself.
Her mug had been one crafted of the moon and the stars. With all the constellations of the Gods being lifted into the air by the magic of the Cauldron. Ms. Immy had told her it was a visual representation that Yn was a great reminder of the past to the current world. That she was lost art that was to never be forgotten. 
There is nothing I want more than for the rest of the world to be loved as fiercely as she had loved me.
“Here is your tea, Lucien,” Ms. Immy set the mug on the counter, pushing up the glass case and plucking a peach turnover out. “And for you as well.”
“Thank you,” I tried to smile. I stared at the blackberry tart next to the peach turnovers. Yn’s go-to. It made my blood run cold. 
I put the coins in her hand before I could begin to cry again and scooted out the door as another person was coming in. 
The table and chairs outside were hard and covered in a light mist. It creaked as I sat, just as it always did. I should've sat anywhere else, but my body naturally drifted to this exact spot. It had a good view of the street so Yn and I could watch the people walk by. Pretending we know every bit of their personal lives and beyond. Make up extravagant stories and adventures for the most boring looking individuals in hopes they may one day get to go on them in another lifetime. 
Gods she is everywhere. She’s in the tavern across the street, in the stones on the ground that we used to kick on our walks. She’s in the sunrise, the same color of her heated cheeks filling the sky. There is no escaping what used to be my whole world. 
Silently, I let a few tears roll down my cheeks. I ought to be ashamed of showing so much emotion in public, but for some reason I can’t find the will to care. 
The door chimes and footsteps go back down the street. The door chimes again. 
“My fox boy,” Ms. Immy says so softly I almost don’t hear it over the roar in my ears. “What troubles you so badly you can’t sleep?”
I bite my lip to keep from making any embarrassing noises. “I don’t know how to fix something that I’ve done.”
“You missed the opening of Yn’s restaurant.” She says. 
I nod. “How did you know?”
“Because I did not see you there, fox boy.”
“She kicked me out, Ms. Immy. I deserved it, every bit of what she said was true.”
“I think that is true, Lucien,” Ms. Immy came and sat in Yn’s spot, folding her hands in her lap, letting out a breath of air as she extended her old, feeble legs. “Nobody is happy with what you’ve done but-”
“I didn’t mean to blow her off Ms. Immy I just-”
“But,” she cuts me off with a pointed look. “I think you are a very lost soul. For the first time in your life you are truly free. No High Lord to obey, no throne to fight for, no war to fight in. Just a High Lord to serve and to respect. You have everything you could ask for, and yet you have no idea what to do with it.”
She’s right. She’s always right. “I want to fix it. I have to.”
“I am afraid that may not be what the spirit of the Gods wants.” Why is it that I get called fox boy and Yn get’s called something as majestic as ‘spirit of the Gods’? “If those are her wishes, you are going to respect them. Eternally.”
“I will go mad. If I don’t have her by my side for the rest of my life I will go mad.” “So you share a bond with her as well?” She asks. 
“I don’t know. All I do is that I haven’t stopped crying and shaking at every reminder of her. No matter how small. Life without her in it is meaningless to me. Afterall, she is the one who gave it back to me.”
“And a good job she did, fox boy,” Ms. Immy smiled softly. “You are a good male who has been blinded by instincts. While it is not your fault, it has become your problem. And by the looks of you, it seems like it has become quite the ordeal.”
My shoulders dropped as I put my head in my palms. I breathed. “I don’t know how to function without her. She has been there, every day of my life, for nearly seventy years, Ms. Immy. We did everything together. Our mornings were spent as one, our evenings, all the restaurant planning and-and brunches here with you-”
“Breathe, Lucien-”
“How am I supposed to just pack up my things today and move on? H-How am I supposed to just carry on as if she never existed in my life? The thought of not being able to see her every day makes me want to peel the skin off my flesh.”
Ms. Immy looked at me, the hard lines in her face becoming more defined. “Listen to me very carefully, fox boy. What’s done is done. You cannot go back in time and take back what you said. The worst of it is over. Now comes the long process of trying to piece your life together. Whether Yn will be able to help you will depend on what you decide to do in the next several days. If you follow her wishes of moving out and staying clear, there could be a chance in the future. But, if you neglect her wishes, as you had neglected her to lead you to this moment, then there is no hope.”
If you neglect her wishes, as you had neglected her to lead you to this moment, then there is no hope… Words have never stunned me quite as forcefully as Ms. Immy’s had. The true gravity of the situation has set in, if it hadn’t already. One wrong move and she’s gone. For good.
“There is a reason why you are my little fox, Lucien,” Ms. Immy stood, taking my cold mug that I hadn’t touched. “They were intelligent, cunning creatures, just as you are. Do not let your instincts guide you to a decision. Let your heart and the facts do it for you.”
“The facts? What facts?” “The fact that you have screwed up. The fact that Yn has made a decision for you since you were incapable of doing it yourself. It is truth, and it hurts, but it has to for change to come.” And then she went inside. 
I sat with those final words for far longer than I anticipated. It was long enough for people to begin leaving their homes, the streets beginning to fill with people. 
Yn would be out of the house by now, opening for the restaurant’s breakfast hours. I could go now. Or I could stay here and try to blend into the hundreds of faces passing in and out. But I need to move. Yn might come in for her apple cider and blackberry tart. If I saw her right now I’d surely do something stupid. 
As I walked, the clouds blocked out the sun and it began to drizzle. The drizzle turned into a steady rain, then a downpour. I was soaked through my cloak and boots, water seeping in and out with every step. My hair stuck to the back of my neck. 
I kept my head down as I walked, afraid of being recognized. If Ms. Immy had been there to not see me at Latibule, who else? 
The cobblestone ended and mud replaced it. I knew where I was.
The old, beaten path dared me to go up to the house. It beckoned me. From here, at the bottom of the hill, I could see several boxes stacked up outside the door, the disposable brown material soaked through with the rain. She was serious…
Some part of me– the extremely selfish part– has been secretly hoping that she’ll tell me she made a mistake and that she wants me back. But I think those boxes are a not-so-gentle-shove in the opposite direction. 
The key in my pocket might as well have been the key to another universe, because when I opened the door it was like I entered a whole new world. One without me in it. All the pictures of us, all the paintings Feyre had done for us, were off the walls. All the plants and trinkets and decorations I gifter here were piled in the corner for me to collect.
How could so much damage have been done in just a few hours? 
One by one, I packed away the things into the soggy boxes. I moved from room to room. Silently. Hoping this was all a dream only to be launched back into reality with every memory that surfaced. Every possession I had given her in the last seventy years was piled here for me to take. 
She wanted no trace of me here. And I didn’t blame her. I don’t want any trace of me either. 
I must’ve stayed there for hours– crying, packing, reliving moments I had long forgotten only to cry again– because it was close to sunset now. Every trace of me was packed up; all those pictures, all those trinkets, all my clothes and bathing goods… everything I owned fit into these boxes. Everything except for the one person I didn’t want to do life without. 
But Rhys and Ms. Immy are right. If I try to do something now, to get her back, I’ll ruin any real chance. That is something I can’t afford. 
To an immortal, a few months or years equivalates to just a few minutes of human life. But if it takes years for Yn to accept me back in her life…
Besides the clothes and membranes from the Autumn and Spring Courts, I discard everything. I will tear myself to bits if I don’t get rid of them. Will I regret it down the road, probably, but I can’t have them. 
The two boxes and bag of clothes I carry from her house to the Town House are water logged and falling apart. It’s a miracle they didn’t unravel completely. Just add more humiliation to a High Lords son dragging boxes and bags through the street. I deserve all the stare’s and hushed questions. 
Nothing could’ve prepared me for the sights of Rhys and Cassian helping me carry them up the stairs. 
“I don’t know how you’re feeling but-”
“Don’t,” I pleaded. “Just… just don’t. I don’t want your pity, Cassian.”
“I am probably the last person besides Azriel who would pity you, Lucien. And I had no intentions to belittle you for what you did. I was going to offer you a spot in my training ring if you ever needed an escape.”
His kindness shocked me. I can’t say I know the Illyrian well, but this gesture spoke a lot to his character. So I sighed, of course I thought he was going to be hostile to me. Everyone should. “Oh.”
“Training starts at eight and goes to one. Come well fed and in something warm. The top of the House is colder.”
Neither of us said anything else as he left me to unpack.
______
Some weeks later I had taken Cassian up on his offer. Him and Nesta were great at kicking my ass and telling me about it. This side of both of them was far different than the ones I had seen. Here, Cassian wasn’t a prick. He was an instructor, teaching me how to defend my life and my honor. Nesta was… less Nesat. She channeled this otherworldly presence and became one with her weapon.
Me on the other hand… it was far more difficult. Fighting and battle wasn’t rooted in my blood like it was for Cassian. It was much harder for me to get it but I sorta did. Sorta. 
“Just keep working on that footwork and it’ll help with the sword placement. If you’re solid by the end of the week, I’ll put a real one in your hands,” Cassian grinned, chucking me my practice weapon. 
It brought a quick smile to my face. As fast as it was there it was gone. Like most these days. 
When I got home, I rifled through my closet. Brown and green and cream colored shirts after another. Where was that Night Court Blue one I had gotten a long time ago? I could’ve sworn I plucked it from the pile on the floor- no, that was a towel. I was planning on wearing it to dinner at the River House tonight for Mor’s birthday.
Oh, Yn has it. I had given it to her to wear for a meeting with a realtor when looking at properties. She had tucked it into this black leather skirt.
I’ll swing by on my way to the party to get it. Mor always liked the color on me, and said it brought out the fire in my hair. She’ll appreciate the gesture.
After a shower and some other outfit choices, I can’t help but want that blue shirt. I’ll just go get it.
Through the falling leaves, I make my way down the street, across it, and to the meadow. There are six or seven houses with smoke billowing out of their chimneys. But there, right in the distance, is her house. She’ll be at her restaurant tonight so I know I’m safe. 
I scurry up the path, still worried about being seen for some reason. 
Has it been easy these past couple weeks? No. I haven’t been able to think of anything but her. Or dream of anything but her. It’s awful. Not her, but the fact that somehow, someway, she is still everywhere I am. In those memories in the darkest part of the night. The darkest part of my mind reserved for her and her only. 
I hadn’t dared to go visit Elain. I don’t feel the need anymore. Which is relieving and frightening at the same time. It’s like there is a gaping hole in my heart that nothing will fill. Not even training. It proves a good secondary distraction, but nothing can suppress the primary guilt I feel every waking–
What is that smell? I stopped just shy of the door, key in hand. It wants to smell like the rest of the smoke and ash wafting into the air from the nearby cabins, but it’s… more alive? What if she left the stove on? Or a candle? There are hints of woods mixed into it, but not the type of woodsy scent from pine or maple logs. 
I jam the key in as fast as I can to unlock the door. What if she left the fireplace burning or had an electrical fire or-
In the span of five seconds, three things happened. One: Yn was here. And she looked so beautiful. Her eyes are bright and full of color. Two: she was being held by someone, his hands on her cheeks. Three: boiling rage shot through when I realized who it was.
Eris.
~~~~~~~~~
Part 3
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purinfelix · 3 months
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Joao with actress reader 👀
just an act ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚
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pairing: actress reader x joao felix (established relationship) summary: in which your boyfriend's possessive tendencies are put to the test warnings: none! w/c: 1.1k
a/n: take a shot everytime i apologise for being ia challenge !! also this is a teensy bit rushed and i'm not entirely happy with it but, i hope it's alright !! tysm anon for the req (and for waiting for so long for me to answer it 😭)
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“Joao, you’re sure you’re okay with it?”
“How many times are you going to ask me that?” your boyfriend huffed, “I’m fine! Really!”
“You literally skipped out on training to follow me to work,” you reminded him, with a slightly teasing tone.
“So?”
You let out a sigh for what felt like the hundredth time in the past hour and tried your best to maintain your composure. Around you, the atmosphere of an active film set roared with its flurry of light, noise, and movement. Neither your hair nor makeup were close to being done, and you were still standing wrapped in the plush white robe the costuming staff had given you before you changed into your outfit for your scene. Somewhere to your right you watched the director and his entourage of nervous interns scrounge around the perfect the set’s lighting, and push all of the cameras and mics in their right places. Behind you, your costar sat on his chair, waiting impatiently, ready for the scene the two of you were shooting today.
And yet, the only thing you found your attention being drawn to was the boy that stood in front of you, with floppy hair and pleading eyes and a pout that was just too hard to deny.
“So, are you sure you’re alright with this? With me kissing another man?” you repeated, slowly, growing more aware of how little time you had until the cameras were set to start rolling.
When you had come home a couple of weeks ago with the news - that the new movie you were starring in would involve a kissing scene between you and your costar - you were nervous, to say the least. You knew Joao was the type to value your career just as much as you did, and would never do anything to stop you from achieving your dreams. However, you were equally aware that he had possessive tendencies, as much as he pretended not to. Of course, he had acted casual about the news at first, telling you that as long as you were comfortable with it, he was too.
But now that the time to shoot the scene had actually come, it seemed like he was having second thoughts - evidenced by the fact he had insisted on following you to work and had spent the past hour or so hovering around as you got ready, expression equal parts nervous and stern. Despite this, you knew he’d rather die than admit how he really felt, even if you prodded him a thousand times just to say what was clearly on his mind.
“Yep! Totally fine!” he chirped out in a falsely cheery tone. The way his eyes flickered anxiously between you, and your costar waiting in the distance, seemed to suggest otherwise.
You could only rub his arm reassuringly though, offering a look that you hoped conveyed your gratefulness at the fact he trusted you enough to not get in your way, but also cared enough to be so watchful. Still, the staff around you waited for no one, and soon enough you were ushered back into your makeup chair, from which you watched your boyfriend linger behind the cameras, chewing on his bottom lip nervously.
“Joao, baby.”
You were starting to feel like a broken record at this point.
The scene had gone well, and you had only had to reshoot it a couple of times because of either you or your costar forgetting or stumbling over your lines. But the two of you had done your best to maintain an air of professionalism surrounding the intimate scene - your boyfriend however hadn’t been so well.
“I’m fine.” His tone, and the fact that his back was facing you as the two of you lay in bed together, told you otherwise.
The kiss - or kisses as Joao had corrected you - had only lasted seconds, nothing more than quick pecks in fleeting moments. You hadn’t thought much of them before, during, and now after them but it was clear he didn’t share the same sentiment.
“You said you were okay with it,” you sighed softly, trying your best to push the understanding tone in your voice.
“I am.”
“It doesn’t really seem like it.” Whilst it seemed like the bare minimum for him to let you go ahead with something your job required of you, you couldn’t help but feel grateful for him putting aside his feelings for you - or at least trying to. A part of you found it slightly adorable as well, that he was trying so hard to hide his slight jealousy - evidenced by his moody demeanour the entire afternoon after you got back from shooting.
“What makes you think that?” You couldn’t tell if he was genuinely clueless or whether he was just messing with you. Struggling against your mattress, you pushed yourself up and leaned over to him, resting your chin on his shoulder - from where you could see his side profile, and furrowed brows.
“Hmm, I wonder,” you hum, fingers moving to gently interlace his fingers with yours as a silent way of saying I know something’s wrong.
“It’s just,” he began, and you felt a weight lift off of your shoulders at finally breaking through to him, “that costar of yours, Andy or whatever his name is, seemed a little bit too into it.”
You had to stop yourself from giggling, given how sincere his words were, but you couldn’t help but find his jealousy a little bit adorable.
“Joao, his name is Andrew,” you corrected him, “and he has a girlfriend.”
“What?”
“Yeah, and she’s lovely,” you chuckled softly, relief washing over you as you watched your boyfriend break into a small smile for what felt like the first time all day. You could physically feel the tension in his shoulders melt away as he let out a sigh of relief he must’ve been holding ever since you had come home with the news.
“Thank God,” he finally mumbled, turning back around to face you as he pulled you in close. You felt his grip tightly around your waist as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, sighing deeply.
“Plus, it’s not like he would pose much competition anyways,” you added, laughing softly as you wrapped your arms around him. He only hummed in response, not saying much more. You pecked the top of his forehead, relishing the fact that you had finally managed to heal his mood. After all, whilst acting was your job, you knew that at times like this - away from any cameras and in the comfort of your boyfriend’s arms - none of it was an act.
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lemon-natalia · 3 months
Text
Gideon the Ninth Reaction - Chapter 20
i just wanna apologise in advance for how long these posts are getting lol, i have a lot of Thoughts about this book
oh wait nope they are going back to the creepy lab where two people just got murdered. great plan guys
Dulcinea wanting to team up surprised me a little, but it really shouldn't have. she's been paying a lot of attention to the Ninth, and especially Gideon.
'thousands of years after you're gone ... is when you really live' this is such a different, almost warmer, perspective on death and necromancy, and i can see why it appeals to Dulcinea specifically, who's clearly had to come to terms with her mortality pretty early on in life. but its also part of the more disturbing theme that the past never really goes away, and can't help but view this line along the same lines of discovering the ancient study last chapter, and the ancient laboratory, and Canaan House in general, which are only just now having their secrets revealed, and the terrible consequences of those secrets becoming apparent, after thousands of years
'she grasped a railing, leaned over, and proffered her hand' well this is getting very courtly romance
ah yes lets go through the door decorated with a swirl of human teeth, i'm sure there's happy fun times to be had in there. harrow, resident goth interior designer who specialises in bone decor, is probably taking notes as we speak
even after hurting her hand twice, Harrow really just can't resist experimenting even further huh. she's so very reluctant to accept that her existing powers aren't enough by themselves for this
ooohhhh, having to literally suck the life force out of your cavalier to win?? thats so sick and twisted and i love it. these challenges are, again, clearly relying on this intense relationship between the pair, both in trusting them absolutely and in this literal soul-siphoning/melding link thing.
however, it feels like Gideon's really getting the brunt of it in these challenges. Harrow's absolutely putting in an awful lot of effort and power, but it's the cavalier who has to fight the bone amalgamation, the cavalier who has to have their life literally siphoned out. they're about trust and a bond between them, but also seemingly about a willingness to sacrifice your cavalier to achieve that goal, and i have a really bad feeling about where exactly this is going in terms of how exactly one achieves lyctorhood
'under no circumstances will i ever desire your juice' Harrow you may wish to revisit this sentiment when you guys (to my limited knowledge) eventually become girlfriends
'none of this is worth it, at all [...] i'm sorry. We take so much' i'm like 90% sure the voice talking to Gideon throughout all this was Dulcinea, largely because it doesn't really make sense for it to be anyone else, but there were certain lines, specifically these ones, that made me suspicious at first it might be some(one? thing?) else. but it also feels fitting that its Dulcinea coaching her through this.
wow, just wow, i'm really impressed with the writing in this chapter, and how the pain Gideon is feeling is expressed. its such an abstract experience/feeling to describe, but i think its done incredibly well
'Ha-ha, said Gideon, first time you didn't call me Griddle, and died' ok i know she didn't but THANKS for giving me an absolute heart attack with that sentence Tamsyn Muir
Harrow i get understand u are protective of Gideon but let Dulcinea comfort her plz
'you can't just ask someone why they want to be a Lyctor'. ahh the duality of Gideon the Ninth. this just evocative prose about how it feels to be on the brink of death, and then immediately afterwards hits you in the face with a mean girls reference. beautiful, iconic, effervescent.
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hearts-4-vicky · 3 months
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can you do quarterback minji x shy cheerleader reader? i literally just thought of this and i think it’s adorable
ty baby<3
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warnings: kissing, fluff, swearing…, minji is cringe…(shes a loser to me) kinda short😭and um thats it😜
i only know a few things abt football so 🫠
(not proofread…)
The championship football game was already in its fourth quarter, with 50 seconds on the clock. To say Minji was stressed was a HUGE understatement, being the quarterback was cool and all😵‍💫 but when her team’s losing by 3 points its gonna get to her🥺The pressure was getting wayy too much for her since the school has been winning for 9 consecutive years. If they lose, not only will she be failing her school and her teammates, but also you🥺🥺🥺You were the reason she started playing football in the first place, her good luck charm, her cheerleader 🎀 Co-Captain and one of the flyers (someone thrown and lifted in stunts) in the schools cheer squad, y/n l/n (basic asf but shit thats the only option 😭)
Calling a timeout was the best option, all they needed was one touchdown and boom, win😝 though its gonna be harder since their best wide receiver, Yunjin, had suffered a bad shoulder injury just a few minutes before (idk who to put on this team😭) Minji had no game plan since it all relied on Yunjin’s speed and agility, she needed to think of something😵‍💫 Getting in a circle with her team, she speaks up “Okay guys! Just one more push and we win the whole thing right?” Minji flashes a grin, trying to be optimistic “how are we gonna score? Yunjins out and Yujin can barely run without staring at the cheer captain.. Look! She has heart eyes right now!” Haewon was right, Yujin wasn’t even listening to the team but staring at Wonyoung🥺(i love them) Minji noticed you were there too, talking with wony, laughing at something she said🎀 She unconsciously smiles at you, your smile brought light to the dark skies of the night and your laughter made her feel warm🥺 “Fuck.. I forgot you’re both down bad…” Ryujin mentions, the whole team starting to tease those two😭”Alright alright! Yujin, lets do this for our girlfriends… Everyone make sure no one is guarding her!” “Gotchu bro, but I think we need your pretty girlfriends to cheer us on real quickkk” Yuna pokes both Minji and Yujin🎀 “Suck my- “LETS GO BEARS!” (idk man😭) You and Minji make eye contact, “You got this” is what she reads from your lips. A fire lit in her heart as she saw you throw her a kiss, she’s ready for the game.
“HUT HUT! HIKE!” Minji scans the field for Yujin, seeing her in the open, she throws it to her. Caught it. Yujin sprints with everything she had as both teams were after her. One of the opposing team members came out of no where, making Yujin trip. Minji winces at it, must’ve hurt bad. She only thinks of one think,
We fucked it up. We lost.
“HOLY SHIT I DID IT?!” Yujin’s piercing shout got the attention of everyone, she got the ball past the goal line🙏
The stadium erupted into cheers as people started running to the field to celebrate😍😍😍 You full on SPRINT to see your girlfriend, pushing everyone out of the way (r u the football player now or what😭🙏)
Smiling brightly as you spot each other. Minji throws her helmet to the floor to catch you😵‍💫
“YOU WERE SO GOOD OUT THERE BABY!!!” You said as you jumped into Minjis open arms, kissing her face between every word🥺(me when) “I’m all sweaty babe! hol-“”don’ttt care!” Minji stifles a snort as you pepper her face so more, “couldn’t have done it without you, my sunshine” accepting your soft lips against every inch of her face while spinning you around had you both in your own world🥺🥺🥺 Both of you were giggling like teens in love (duh) as your lipstick stains her still sweaty face😛 you guys are taken back to reality as the school journalists come to interview you guys “Who would like to thank for this win Kim Minji?” the camera pans to you guys, still in her arms as she replies,
“My gorgeous girl right here!!”
you hide your face in her neck, blushing at her words
“And those marks on your face?”
“M-minji wait-“
“Also from this gorgeous girl!”
She’s never seen your face as red as it was before😭
with annyeongz
“but I scored the touchdown…”
“Let them have their moment love”
ive been wantin to write fluff again omg 🙏🙏
im sorry i havent been doing many requests lately, ive gotten a bit busier than usual😭 I need to get my grades up or else im out☹️Ive only been writin for school this week im so sorry if this isnt that good😭😭😭
Im really sorry my loves❤️ Stay safe and love you guys!!
-Vicky💋
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hawkinsbnbg · 7 months
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‪Steve was such an embodiment of a golden retriever that Eddie could hardly hate him even when his Munson Doctrine said otherwise.‬
‪Once Eddie got to know him better, he knew he was done for.‬
‪The guy wasn't only a pretty face and fine muscles, he was also kind and a goddamn sweetheart.‬
‪And Eddie? He was a sucker for Steve Harrington. ‬
‪Had been since high school and never thought he could fall any deeper until Dustin literally force introduced him to Steve who took one look at him and invited him to his house.‬
‪As if they were good friends and not two strangers who had just talked to each other for the first time.‬
‪"We actually talked once before all of this," said Steve absentmindedly as they were chilling out on the lounge chairs by the pool.
‪Sometimes, the night breeze would sail past them and Eddie would be able to smell Steve's citrus cologne mix with the chlorine that came from the pool. ‬
‪Also, he'd never admit that the sight of Steve in that white snug T and those stupid tiny green shorts made him a little bit dizzy.‬
‪"When?" Eddie was bewildered. Because if he had interacted with Steve, then he sure as hell he'd remember it for the rest of his life.‬
‪"On my first year," Steve gave him a meaningful look. "You seemed to hate me a lot the moment we met so I didn't try to approach you anymore."
‪Eddie remembered it now. That day, Steve had come to buy from him but since he didn't sell to underages, he decided to scare the younger boy away and then forgot all about it once he returned to his trailer.
‪Turned out, his tactic worked a little bit too well and now, Eddie finally understood why Steve never came to him and it was always Tommy or Carol's brother instead.‬
‪"Thanks for that anyway," said Steve quietly.‬
‪"For what?" Eddie frowned slightly in confusion.‬
‪"For denying me the weeds," Steve gave him a warm smile. "I had been goaded to buy them from you but now thinking back, I'm glad that I didn't get them. Because I knew the moment I went back with a bag of weeds, those people would encourage me to buy drugs next. It'd go on until they got me addicted and my life would be much more different if I was sent into rehab by my father."‬
‪Though Eddie knew this was what he hoped his little conscience would do to those teenagers, he still didn't expect Steve Harrington of all people to thank him for it.‬
‪And he didn't expect his heart to leap into Steve's hand without his consent, either.‬
‪"It's nothing," Eddie cleared his throat slightly and picked up his beer bottle so he'd have something to do instead of flailing his hands around like an idiot. "It's just one of my rules that I don't sell to underages."‬
‪"And thanks to you, many guys like me can have a better life," Steve raised his beer into the air. "Cheers for Eddie Munson."‬
‪Eddie though blushed at the lovely smile Steve sent him, still held up his bottle and clinked it with Steve's.‬
‪After that night, they started hanging out together more often. Sometimes, it'd be at Steve's place, and some other times, it'd be in Eddie's bedroom at the Munson trailer.
‪Steve even chatted with Wayne about basketball, on which Eddie would never in his wildest dream expect to walk in when he returned from a gig one late night.‬
‪Gradually, it became their thing to spend time together whenever they could.‬
‪Yet, Eddie didn't dare to consider them as anything but friends.‬
‪Sure, they hung out all the time in each other's bedroom, they shared forehead kisses and cuddles, they brushed each other's hair, and they even lived in each other's wardrobe.‬
‪But, clearly, Steve was as straight as a ruler and Eddie wouldn't ruin their friendship just because of his stupid feelings.‬
‪So Eddie did what he thought was the best. He tried to move on.‬
‪But he had failed the moment a random girl walked up to Steve and started flirting with him.‬
‪An ugly thing reared its head inside Eddie and caused him to see Red.‬
‪He just stormed over and pulled Steve away from that girl, out of the bar, and into the back of his van without much thought for the consequences.‬
‪Fuck the consequences. Because Steve was his and his alone. Anyone could fuck off.‬
‪"Eds? Did something happen? Are you okay?" Steve looked at him in concern.‬
‪That got an amused huff out of Eddie. Of course, his sweetheart would worry about everyone but himself.‬
‪"No, I'm okay," he took in a deep breath to calm down. Then, he met those hazel eyes and decided to be honest for once. "I was just jealous."‬
‪"Of who?" Steve’s brows pinched in bafflement.‬
‪"Of that girl," Eddie licked his dry lips and watched Steve's gaze flick down to them before meeting his eyes again.‬
‪"Why?"‬
‪"Why?" Eddie parroted back before giving out the answer that had been locked inside him for years. "Because I like you, Steve."‬
‪"Oh," Steve breathed out.‬
‪"Yeah," Eddie snorted bitterly and braced himself for the imminent heartbreak. ‬
‪He waited for Steve to either turn him down gently or punch him in the face for taking advantage of their friendship for his greed and selfishness.‬
‪He knew Steve would never do that. But it'd hurt far worse if Steve got upset enough with him to resort to pure violence.‬
‪Instead, all Steve did was ask with a raised eyebrow, "So are you gonna kiss me now or do I need to do it first?"‬
‪Eddie didn't need to be told twice to cup Steve's face and lock their lips together.‬
‪This could be another good dream for all he cared.‬
‪For now, Eddie didn't want to drown himself in yet another existential crisis until he was done making out with his darling.‬
‪Until they stumbled into Steve's bed, until Eddie was permitted to do everything to the other man, including blowing his back out that he knew it wasn't a dream. Because Eddie never made it this far in his dreams before.‬
‪"So are we boyfriends now?" Eddie asked again just to make sure as he cuddled and shared lazy kisses with an adorably sleepy Steve.‬
‪"Mhm," Steve hummed under his breath, all rosy cheeks and blissed out.‬
‪"Just so you know," Eddie traced his forefinger on the soft outline of Steve's chin. "You're gonna be stuck with me for a very long time and even if you try to kick me away, I'd find a way to get back to you."‬
‪"That sounds perfect to me," Steve yawned and snuggled up to him.‬
‪"Yeah?" Eddie tightened his arms around Steve.‬
‪"Uh-huh," Steve planted a small kiss on his jaw. "We're in this together now. And you're gonna see how clingy I am very soon. Just don't regret it, Munson."‬
‪"I'd never, sweetheart," Eddie whispered back and gave his lovely boyfriend another smooch on his forehead.‬
‪As Eddie slowly drifted off, he just knew he was the world's happiest and luckiest man to have Steve in his life.
‪And that was a blessing he'd never take for granted.‬
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multi-fxndom446 · 5 months
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Cold days
Alex Keller x Reader
Summary: (based on this ask) you and Alex share a warm bath together when you both are freezing.
Warning: fluff literally so much fluff. Y’all are so in love in this. There’s like the slightest hint of angst but it’s not much. Established relationship. Don’t come for me if some things are inaccurate when the military is brought up. Pet names (baby, sweetheart, darling)
Word count: 2.5k shortish and sweet:)
Honestly I saw this request and fell in love with it so I had to write it as I work on Johnnys part two. Which his is about half way done as of right now so it should be out soon. I hope you guys enjoy this one!<3 I hope I did your request justice @offbrandmeowmix 🫶🏻
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You could hear the moment the front door opened and closed. You didn’t honestly want to move from your spot under your cocoon of blankets but seeing his face sounded pretty nice too.
You had only returned from work about an hour ago. As soon as you came home you changed into warmer clothes and then searched for your personal heater before realizing he was gone you were forced to hide under a pile of blankets and wait for him.
“Alex?” You called when you finally got yourself to roll out of bed but not without taking a fuzzy blanket with you and wrapping it tightly around your body. “Is that you?”
You peaked your head around the corner to the front door to see him just barely hanging up his coat. When he turned and saw you a relieved smile made its way onto his face, “hey, you cold?” He asked when you stepped further into his view.
“Freezing.” You confirmed and he chuckled softly as he made his way to you. Smiling at you like you were the only thing that mattered to him in that moment. Your own soft smile made its way to your face when he leaned down to give you a soft kiss on the head. “Where have you been?”
“I was helping the neighbors shovel the snow out of their driveways.” He sighed out in exhaustion while he caressed your face gently as if he hadn’t seen you in a lifetime. Immediately you flinched away from his cold hands and he retracted them with a chuckle before moving past you to sit on the couch. “Sorry.”
“It took you only an hour?” You followed after him, noticing the slight limp in his step. While he always had one it was a little more prominent now.
He glanced up at you for a moment while he massaged his thigh the prosthetic was on. “Longer actually. It took me an hour to help our neighbors then another two to help the other two elderly neighbors that asked for help afterwards.” You laughed softly at this. It was no secret your husband was a kind man who would help anyone who asked so it didn’t surprise you in the slightest.
After watching him massage his thigh for a few more minutes you noticed the slight frown that was on his face. “You okay?” You took a step closer to him and he quickly smiled up at you to ease your nerves. “Alex.”
“I’m okay baby.” You could practically melt anytime he called you some kind of endearing nick name but right now you didn’t believe him in the slightest. “How was work?”
“Work was fine.” You quickly dismissed his attempt at changing the subject and went to stand directly in front of him. You stood between his legs and grabbed his face to make him look at you as his hands automatically went to rest on your lower thighs. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
He stayed silent for a moment. “Your hands are feeezing.” He muttered and you smacked his shoulder while he laughed. “Seriously, I’m okay. My leg has just been bothering me a little since it’s gotten colder out.”
He gently took your hands in his and cupped them in his hands while he brought them close to his lips to blow warm air on them. You couldn’t help but feel warmer already with just his attention alone.
“Come on.” You whispered softly to him and took your hands away but not before grabbing onto one of his hands to try and pull him off the couch. “Let’s go take a warm bath. It’ll help you relax.”
“Well how could I say no to that.” He followed after you as you led him into the master bathroom that was connected to your shared bedroom.
After tossing the blanket into a basket you had in the corner you let him sit down on the toilet lid so he wouldn’t have to stand on his prosthetic anymore. As you turned on the water and got it set to a good temperature he was getting ready to take the prosthetic off but stopped when he saw you turn back to him.
“Do you want any help?” You asked, kneeling down so he would look you in the eyes. He gave you a soft smile in an attempt to reassure you but you and he both knew this was a new insecurity for him that he had yet to find a way around. “Here let me at least take the prosthetic off for you.”
And he let you but he stopped you from helping him any further the moment it was off. “Let me do the rest of this darlin.” You looked up at him as if just to ask if he was sure but all he did was cup your face in his hands and kiss your lips softly. “Please.”
“Okay..” you relented and stood to your feet. “I’ll be right back.” You gave him a chaste kiss on the cheek as you left the bathroom to let him have his privacy as he took everything else for the prosthetic off.
Though it had already been about a year, give or take, since Alex lost his leg it was still very much a new thing to him. You did your best to be there and support him but losing your leg was something you couldn’t understand and you knew that.
It was something that was a little easier for him to ignore when he was away on mission but something he felt a little harder when he was home with you. He didn’t mean to but sometimes he’d get into his head about it. You’d only helped him with his full routine for his leg maybe a few times when he was comfortable with it but never pushed him when he wasn’t.
You never thought less of him. If anything it made you fall more in love with him and you’d spend everyday reassuring him about how much you loved him if that’s what he needed. All you were happy about was that he made it home alive to you.
That’s all you’d ever care about.
“Y/n?” His voice broke you from your thoughts and you realized you were just standing at the dresser staring down at it. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah! Yeah sorry!” You called to him, quickly grabbing two pairs of sweats and a few shirts before making your way back to him. “Got distracted.”
He only hummed in response and watched you as you set the clothes down to come closer to him. He didn’t put up any resistance when you helped him take off his shirt and then again when you helped him with the rest of his clothes.
You helped him ease into the tub before turning off the water and turning away from him to strip from your own clothes.
“You’re so beautiful.” He practically whispered when you slid into the tub with him, his arms instinctively wrapping around you.
You almost immediately melted into him, your head finding its place on his chest just below his jaw. You hummed contentedly as your hand ran delicately over the arms he had wrapped around you. “I missed you today.”
He kissed the top of your head before replying, “I miss you everyday.” You chuckled at his response but his arms tightened around you slightly. “Every minute I’m away from you I miss you.”
The words settled in the air. You didn’t know how to respond to that so you just grabbed onto his hand so you could play with his fingers while he other hand traced gentle patterns just below your breast.
“Somethings on your mind.” He pointed out when he noticed you got lost in thoughts again. You didn’t answer and just continued to play with his fingers so he grabbed onto your left one with both of his to start massaging it.
“What are you doing?”
“Don’t act like I don’t know you start hurting in winter to, sweetheart.” He brought your hand to his lips to leave a kiss. “I know your joints start gettin stiff.”
You smiled softly. “You know me to well Mr. Keller.” You murmured, watching him rotate between both your hands.
“That’s my job darlin’” he kissed your shoulder this time. “Now tell me what’s on your mind.”
You hated asking him about his leave, you wish you could just sit here and enjoy every second you had with him. But he had been on leave for almost two weeks already and never said anything about when he was supposed to return to the field and you were starting to feel like your seconds were ticking down.
“When do you go back?” You asked him quietly and you could feel the way his chest deflated a little when he finally understood why you were so quiet.
“Beginning of next week.” He admitted and you went silent. It was Wednesday today. He could sense your sadness and the way you wanted to close yourself off but he wouldn’t allow it. “Baby don’t do that. Don’t think about it, let’s just enjoy the time we have okay?”
You could only nod and continue to watch him massage your hands gently. “Do you remember when we first met?” It was a weak attempt at changing the subject but he’d take anything you’d give him.
“How could I forget?” He chuckled. “The marines were on the track running that day and then there you came to deliver some papers. I couldn’t look away from you and you nearly made me trip when you turned and looked at me with that beautiful smile.”
You laughed at his recollection of your first meeting. In truth you had seen him around long before that but never approached him. Only because at the time you worked at a desk filling out paperwork and you’d only catch glimpses of him here and there so the moment someone asked for a volunteer to go deliver papers to someone who was training the marines you jumped at the opportunity.
It was safe to say you made an impression on him that day because the next day he found you at your desk and asked for your name with that charming smile of his.
“You were very charming.” You told him as you recalled the days after you started dating. “You would bring me flowers every week.”
“That reminds me I need to go buy you more, the ones I gave you are dying.” You laughed.
You had long since left that office job and found one that made you happier and you and Alex held strong through everything. You wouldn’t change a thing about your life with this man.
“I love you more than anything Alex.” You turned your head to look at him slightly and his hand that had been massaging your hand came up to gently hold your jaw so he could kiss you properly.
“I love you more than any words can express sweetheart.” He whispered against your lips and you smiled and snuggled closer to him.
You spent almost an hour in the bath just enjoying each other's presence. Soft touches shared between you as you both told stories of what you could remember from the beginning of your relationship. Laughs shared at every embarrassing detail the other would bring up and soft kisses placed as comfortable silence fell over you.
By the time you got out of the bath the water was getting cold and both your fingers were pruned but neither of you seemed to mind as you helped him out of the tub to get dressed before you left him there to get his crutches with a towel wrapped tightly around your own body.
When he was finally sat on his side of the bed and watching you go about your nightly routine he had a soft smile on his face. “Y/n?” He called your name softly as you emerged from the bathroom after brushing your teeth.
You hummed as you slid into the bed next to him before you saw the look on his face. A look that meant he had something he wanted to say but didn’t know how, it made you nervous. “You okay?”
“I was just thinking.” He looked away from you and to the dresser where one of your wedding photos was placed. “This next mission it’s going to be a long one..”
“Okay?” You said gently
“What would you think..” he took a deep breathe and looked back at you. “If this were to be my last mission?”
You felt your breathe catch in your throat as you looked at him to see if he was being serious. “Alex..are you sure? This is-this is your life! If you’re only doing this for me because you think I’m lonely-“
He grabbed your hand to get you to stop and you did. “It was my life for more years than I can even count. And I sacrificed a lot for it but I don’t want to sacrifice any more time with you.” You almost felt like you could cry. “We’ve been together damn near a decade and you’ve stayed by my side for it all. I see how many men die on the field, I see how many heartbroken spouses there are and I don’t want you to be one of them.”
“Alex..”
“I want to live my life with you Y/n, I want to start a family, move houses if you want, hell just do mundane things like bathe with you. I want to do it everyday.” He was ranting now so you could see how long he had been thinking about this. “I hate being away from you. I can't imagine ever putting you through the pain of losing me.”
He watched your expression closely, you had tears threatening to fall from your eyes. This was something you never even really let yourself think, you honestly didn’t think Alex would be the one to bring up retirement.
“Y/n?”
“Are you sure this is something you want to do Alex?” You had to ask him again. “You’re not just doing this for me right? This is something you want to do?”
He sighed slightly and moved to caress your jaw. “Sweetheart, I’ve been thinking about this since the last few deployments. I’ve been thinking about this since I almost sacrificed myself but was lucky enough to only lose a leg. So trust me it is something I want to do. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Finally a few tears did manage to escape and you cupped his cheeks to bring him to you, kissing him like there’s a whole new hope for the two of you. “I love you so much.” You whispered when you pulled away and he wiped your tears.
“I love you too.” Then he was pulling you down so you were both laying on the bed and your head was safely tucked under his chin.
Silence enveloped you again before you broke it. “You wanna start a family eh?” He rolled his eyes at your playful tone and tickled your sides. His heart swelling as your laughter filled the room.
“Don’t push your luck.”
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lyrebright · 2 years
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so! you want to rip a fic from fanfiction dot net?
I’m sure at this point we’ve all seen the posts about FFN’s inevitable demise. Not to downplay how much that would suck, for all we riff on FFN--but people have been saying that for literal years at this point, and while I do not doubt that FFN is dying, it’s probably not going to up and vanish on us in the next week. It’s got some good time of chugging and wheezing along left yet.
But among the panic there are people asking sincere questions about what can be done to save fics from FFN in the case of the site going down and taking literal decades of fandom history with it, and I’m seeing a surprising amount of people saying that the only way to do it is to either screenshot the fics or type them out yourself because copy/paste does not work on FFN. And that is just blatantly not true. There are many ways in which you can save fics from FFN. Here are just a few:
You can copy/paste directly from the mobile site. This is probably one of the easiest methods for anyone to do. Just click on the URL of the chapter you’re reading, and change the www. to m. Hit enter and the page will reload in mobile mode. You can now copy/paste the chapter right into a word document. You will have to go chapter by chapter.
CTRL+S. Go to the fic you want to save, and hit ctrl+s. Save the damn webpage. This will keep it in the exact format of the webpage, which you could see as a pro or a con, but it will also keep the ads, which does suck. You’ll also have to go chapter by chapter with this method but it does go a lot faster than manually copy/pasting the text.
HTML to PDF. This method I’m admittedly a little less sure about, since when I used it it was like, 2013 and I was in highschool so I’m not sure how viable it still is, but--just a quick google search should find you a website that will let you save a webpage as a PDF file. I have folders and folders of fics I saved back in highschool using this method. It will again have to go chapter by chapter and just like saving the webpage will keep the format of the site intact--down to keeping the ads.
Use a fanfiction downloader. Two I’ve been using for years are FF2eBook and FicHub. You put in the link of the fic you want to download and it converts the entire thing into a file for you. Yes, the entire thing--you don’t need to manually go through chapter by chapter. By default, both sites download in epub format, though FicHub does have a few other options. I’ve never really experimented with them though because I’m personally fine with epub, and there are a million epub to pdf (or other file type) converters out there.
And there you go: a handful of ways for you to save your favourite fics before FFN goes under. Again, I don’t think it’s something to be too worried about, but the best time to do your part for fandom preservation was yesterday. The second best time is to get started right now. There is no reason to wait for FFN to be on its death bed to start saving fics. I’ve been doing this for years just so I have fics to read offline. 
I’m a little too young to have been around for livejournal, but I was one of those weirdos that posted their first fics on quizilla. I remember when quizilla just...changed. And so much was lost. Looking back, almost none of what was posted on quizilla was actually good, but it was still something that someone put time and effort and passion into creating, and it was important.
There is almost no way that when FFN inevitably goes down that its entire archive will be saved. But we can do our best to save as much as we can. Stop panicking and start saving.
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daresplaining · 2 months
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"You're crazy, all of you. I'm real, you hear me? As real as anyone." Daredevil vol. 5 #607 by Charles Soule, Phil Noto, and Clayton Cowles
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"I don't even know how to say this...I'm not real." Devil's Reign #5 by Chip Zdarsky, Marco Checchetto,  Marcio Menyz, and Clayton Cowles
I touched on this topic in this post, but the thought has been gnawing on my brain since Devil's Reign #5 dropped (in March 2022? Mike has been dead for two years already?! God...) so I'm giving it its own post.
Modern Mike's existence is divided into two clearly delineated states of being: "fragment" (Reader's umbrella term for his creations) and "Real Boy" (Mike's term for himself from the 2020 Annual, though shout-out to the fans who had already been calling him that since 2018). It's a literal transformation, from one form of life to another, but it also spans Mike's character arc and psychological journey: from desperately declaring his realness in Daredevil volume 5 to begrudgingly accepting the nature of his existence at the end of his introductory arc, to taking action and making himself real in Daredevil volume 6. For me, the above scene from #607 was the gut-punch moment that first got me intensely intensely invested in modern Mike, when the depth of his fear and the horror of his situation became clear-- and the emotional resonance of that moment, for me, carried over into the bombshell scene in Devil's Reign #5 when he answered the questions that had been left dangling after he rewrote reality in the 2020 Annual: Did he still remember the previous version of the world? Did he remember what he had done to change it? Did he remember being a "fragment"?
His nervous declaration to Butch-- "I'm not real"-- hits like a truck not just because it is such a risky admission, but also because of how it contextualizes Mike's new reality and what his cosmic rewrite actually changed for him. Which, it would seem, was probably not enough.
Yes, after his trick with the Norn Stone, the gaps in his memories have been filled in. Yes, he now has a birth certificate and a social security number (presumably) and actual friends and family who share actual history with him, and I'm sure that's a tremendous relief. But how much of a solace can it really be, when he still knows that the only reason he has all of those things is because he forced the universe to give them to him? His twin might think they were born together now, but Mike still knows the truth about how he was created, and now he is the only person in the world who does. He has gone from having unique memories of a past that doesn't exist for anyone else to...having unique memories of a past that doesn't exist for anyone else.
Is this new reality that much better than the old one for Mike? If he still knows that he hasn't always been real, does he feel any less like a ghost?
It is very easy to find parallels between Mike being the only person who remembers his time as a "fragment" and Matt, following the Purple Children's mind wipe, being the only person who still knew that he was Daredevil. Matt was stuck with knowledge of a world that once was-- a world in which his identity was public-- and he couldn't handle the sudden total isolation of no one at all sharing his secret, and so decided to tell someone (but just one person; Foggy). Mike's situation was nearly the same. The fear and isolation and vulnerability he'd felt as a fragment was something he had literally bent the universe to escape, but he was still left haunted by the memory of it. We didn't get much of a sense of what was going on in Mike's head in his appearances following the Annual, but I can only imagine that, mixed in with everything else he was feeling in that scene in Devil's Reign #5, he felt some amount of relief sharing the weight of that secret with his best friend. I have to wonder if, had he lived long enough, he would have told anyone else.
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honeypiehotchner · 2 years
Text
Recompense (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- one shot
My suitemate made me write this /hj
Also talk about returning to Hotch fics with something completely out of left field 🤪🤪
Warnings: 18+ only pleaseeee y’all know the drill, slight sub!Hotch/dom!reader, light bondage, grinding, angst, MAYBE dubcon if you absolutely squint
WC: 2.1k
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Hotch had been gone for weeks, which isn’t unusual, but still takes its toll. To combat it, you and Hotch have been planning a dinner for when he gets back.
“Should we go out or stay in?”
“Stay in,” Aaron said, exhaustion laced through his words. “I’m so tired of eating out.”
“I know you are, babe,” you murmured. As much as Hotch loves his junk food, he hates eating out so often. He misses your home cooked meals, homemade lunches. He misses running every morning, coming back to your sleepy eyes as you fix coffee for the both of you. “We’ll stay in. I’ll cook.”
“No, no, I’ll cook, you’ve been cooking a lot.”
“I actually haven’t,” you admitted sheepishly. “Cooking for one is hard and I’ve been too lazy anyway.”
“Honey…” He knows when you say ‘lazy,’ you really mean you’ve been missing him and it’s been getting to you. “I’ll be home soon.”
“I know you will.”
Every night he called, and every night a new facet of the date was planned. The menu, the table setting, the music.
If this hadn’t been the fourth case in a row that the BAU was called on, this feeling of missing him wouldn’t be as bad. But he barely had six hours of sleep before he was called out on the second one, and he didn’t even get to come home before the third. With the fourth one, he was home for a blissful twelve hours, but he was exhausted and slept for eight.
Needless to say, it’s been a while since the two of you have really seen one another.
The day that Hotch texts you that he’s coming home can’t come fast enough.
You haul yourself out of bed immediately, flipping lights on and throwing clothes over your body to get ready for the day. There’s a lot to be done, and you can’t wait to get started.
You have all day because it’s a long flight and they haven’t actually left yet, but still. There’s no time to waste.
+++
Hotch doesn’t know how time got so far away from him.
He texted with you when the jet landed, but you weren’t quite ready for him yet, so he went to the office with the rest of the team. His plan was to do paperwork for a few hours, then check back in with you.
Well, he worked for more than a few hours. And forgot to check in.
By the time he looks up, it’s well past the time when he was supposed to text you. It’s dark outside, for Christ’s sake.
He immediately calls you instead, but you send him straight to voicemail. He forgets all about the work he was doing and grabs his coat and keys.
He makes it home in less than half the normal time, but you’re not there. You’ve left a note on the counter, telling him you’ve gone for a drive to get a milkshake, and you don’t know what time you’ll feel like coming back.
He calls you again. Voicemail again.
This time, he leaves one for you. Telling you to come back -- begging, more like. His only hope is that it works, and that you’ll be walking through that door tonight.
+++
The sight before you makes your mouth water. And you hate it because you’re supposed to be angry, but you can’t be when your partner is sitting in front of you with his hands tied. Literally.
He took one of the chairs from the dining table and placed it in the middle of the living room. He’s out of his tie and has it tightened around his wrists, palms facing each other, fingers curled into fists.
“How did you even do that?” is the first question out of your mouth.
He chuckles. “You think I’d do something to you that I haven’t tried on myself?”
“Oh,” you squeak, but really, you’re thinking, that’s hot. “Right.”
You set your things down and lock the door behind you. You’re not sure exactly what to say. If you weren’t mad at him, you’d be on top of him right now. You’d be all over him. But you’re resisting, and you’re keeping your feet planted firmly here, by the front door.
“I’m sorry,” he says from his place in the living room.
“Is this your apology?” you deadpan, gesturing to his self-made predicament.
“Part of it,” he admits. “Do you want me to get up?”
You’re not sure what happened exactly to flip the switch, but something did.
You shake your head, lifting it to meet his eyes. “No. I’ll tell you when I want you to do something.”
He hears the shift too and he nods. “Yes ma’am.”
You like the sound of that.
With a heavy sigh, you cave.
Slowly, you strip your jacket from your shoulders. “Why weren’t you home on time?”
“I-I got caught up in paperwork--”
“We’ve talked about that, Aaron.”
“I know,” he replies, shameful.
“What should you have done?” you prompt him, hanging your jacket on the hook by the door. You spin around and cross your arms over your chest, waiting.
“I should’ve set an alarm,” he says. “Or three. To check in and keep myself aware of the time.”
“Mhm,” you nod. “Why didn’t you?”
“I forgot.”
You click your tongue. “Not a good enough answer.”
“I know,” he says quietly, hanging his head.
His head remains hung in shame as you walk over toward him, toeing off your shoes by the couch. Aaron registers the noise, but doesn’t lift his head until you tell him to.
“Look at me,” you murmur, standing in front of him, but not touching him. His hands are mere centimeters from your legs where they rest on his knees. You see him tighten his fists and you know he’s fighting the urge to reach out and touch you. “Lift your arms.”
Aaron does as he’s told, albeit confused. Until you sit down on his lap.
You face him, your breath caressing his lips. You reach up and guide his arms back down, looped around your neck.
“I would’ve had you tie them behind your back,” you comment, “but since you’re already like this, we’ll make do.”
He nods, looking into your eyes intently. It’s been so long since he’s kissed you. It’s torture for the both of you to have your faces this close, but not touching. It’s hurting you just as much as it is him, but you are determined to take your time.
You can feel him hardening beneath you, much quicker than you expected, but still it doesn’t surprise you. It’s been a while since the two of you have had sex, too. Not over the phone, at least.
You roll your hips, earning a low groan from the back of his throat. You smirk.
“I’m not sure what I want to do,” you muse, letting your fingers wander to the buttons on his shirt. You begin undoing them, one by one, while you speak. “I could take something that I’ve wanted for weeks. I could refuse to let you cum while I do it. Or,” you finish the last button and snake your cold hands over his warm, toned chest. “Or I could let you cum, on one condition.”
“What is it?” he asks quickly, already breathing hard. Between the way you’re sitting, straddling him, your scent, and your hands, he’s ready to burst. “I’ll do it.”
“You don’t even know what it is,” you chuckle. “It could be something you hate. Or not necessarily hate, but something you prefer not to do.”
At that moment, Aaron knows what you mean. And he doesn’t like it. But he also doesn’t like the alternative.
“Okay,” he says.
You grin. “Someone’s desperate.”
“You have no idea,” he replies.
“Believe me,” you snap. “I do.”
He frowns. “I’m sorry--”
“Be quiet,” you tell him, removing your hands from his chest, to instead work on removing your pants. “Lift your arms.”
He does, and you step back, stripping yourself of your pants and panties, kicking them away. He watches them wistfully, and you have to snap your fingers to bring his attention back to you.
You take your shirt off as well, loving the way his eyes darken when he sees you aren’t wearing a bra. And knowing that he can’t touch you.
You straddle him once more, noticing his bulge has gotten considerably larger.
If there’s one thing Aaron hates, it’s cumming in his pants. Especially when he could be touching your skin.
It makes a mess, sure, but the mess is always the least of his worries. He has them dry cleaned regardless. But it’s the pain. The agony. Being confined when you’re right there, stripped naked for him -- for yourself, really, because you’re angry with him right now. None of this is for him. This is all for you.
You guide his arms back around your neck, wanting to feel them there as you begin rocking your hips. You feel his muscles flex, the physical sign of his internal strife.
You’re sensitive on most days, but it’s especially bad when you haven’t felt him in a while. Just the feel of his dress pants against your core sends sparks through your entire body. Not to mention when you clit brushes against his belt.
You can’t stand it anymore, so you kiss him, hot and heavy, moaning into his mouth. He stretches his arms straight out, desperate for some relief. You pull him toward you by the back of his neck, your nails scraping his scalp.
His tongue easily finds yours and takes control. You let him, at least in this aspect, knowing he’s dying for it. You like it when he does, anyway, so this is an easy concession.
Your first climax comes soon, but it isn’t enough, so you don’t stop.
Without needing to be asked, Aaron goes for your neck, sucking and biting as you ride out your high. You keep his lips there, pressing your hand on the back of his neck. When the pressure is a little too hard, you hear him groan, and that’s enough to make you wild.
His hips jerk every now and again, the movement difficult on its own with the way he’s sitting and the way you’re grinding against him.
“I know you’re fighting it,” you murmur against his ear, sending chills down his arms. “You’re going to give in.”
The truth is, it is harder for him to climax when he’s constrained, but at the same time, he is fighting it right now. He hates that you noticed, that you know him well enough to catch it, but he doesn’t know why he’s surprised. You know him as if he is you. And the same goes for the way he knows you.
“Come on,” you press, lifting his head from your neck to look him in his eyes. Your lips brush against his as you say, “I want to hear you.”
He closes the gap between your lips with a fierce growl. The sound alone sends a wave of heat over your body, like molten lava poured overtop of you. You spread your legs wider, chasing your next climax, noticing for the first time how wet you’ve made the fabric of his pants. Or maybe some of it is from him, too.
“Let go,” you demand, lowering your hands to rake your nails over his chest. He shudders at the movement, his head falling onto your shoulder. His moans are broken, almost sobs. “Let me hear you, baby.”
You reach down and rub your clit, desperate to reach your climax at the same time as Aaron. Your sounds drive him over the edge.
He tenses, cries. His hips jerk in sync with yours, and you feel him twitch beneath you -- a harsh movement for you to be able to feel it through the layers.
You drive your hips down toward his, already cumming when he finally breaks, and climaxes with a shout. It lasts much longer than normal, purely because of how constricted his movements are.
“That’s it,” you murmur, pressing your chest against his, relishing in the sweet pleasure of your simultaneous highs. “That’s it, baby.”
He rests his head on your shoulder, his chest heaving.
“Are you okay?” you ask, chuckling a little when he nods.
“I’m great, I’m— Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” you nod. “Here, let me.”
“No, I got it,” Aaron flexes his wrists and the tie comes off, falling to the ground.
Your eyes widen. “That’s hot.”
“Really?” he laughs, smoothing his hands down your arms.
“Oh yeah,” you nod, holding his face. He’s still hard beneath you. “Continue in the bedroom?”
His only response is standing up, with you in his arms, carrying you down the hall for more ‘apologies’.
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funnyexel · 2 years
Text
Til’ Sea Do Us Part
Arthur Curry (Aquaman) x Black Female Reader
Summary: After being in a complicated fling with Arthur, you take a much needed vacation to clear your head. But when your vacation uncovers an unexpected surprise, what will you do once confronted?
Warning(s): L Bombs, Hair pulling, Smut, Degrading, Praise
Word Count: 4.7k
Grabbing a shirt from the big pile of clothes on your bed, you fold it up and place it in your suitcase. Packing had to be the worst part of going on any vacation, your room would always be left in a total wreck afterwards.
“Knock knock.”
You sigh, already knowing who would have the nerve to knock on your door and actually say the words 'knock, knock'.
“What.”
You say, knowing who was at your door before you ever opened it because there’s only one person who knocks like that.
“Am I disturbing you.” He pushes past you and goes to your kitchen.
“Actually, yes. You are.” He rolls his shoulders as he cracks a beer he got from your fridge.
“Too bad. What are you doing anyway.” He leans over, seeing the tornado in your room. Going in it, he immediately sees the suitcase.
“You’re leaving?” A serious statement finally leaves his mouth.
“Yeah?” You go back to folding and packing.
“Where are you going.”
He crosses his arms, demanding a response.
“Wow. You never listen to me.” You huff, being more aggressive with your clothes.
“What do you mean. Yeah I do, all the time unfortunately.” You roll your eyes, walking up to him and his arms relax at his sides.
“If you did you would know where I am going.” You shove a pair of pants into his chest, pointing to your dresser.
“Third drawer.”
“Don’t do this to me now. It had to be a while ago.”
He chugs his beer and quickly throws it away. Well to be fair, you did tell him around a month and a half ago so it has been a minute.
“A cruise. I’m going away on a cruise, Arthur.”
Done with the outfits you start packing panties and bras.
“Yeah, with your best friend. See, I do listen.” You chuckle in the slightest.
“Whatever you say.”
You take a few from your drawer and place them in two piles.
“Woah! What are you planning to do with those panties?” He points to a dark green lace panties you have in your hands.
“I’m a grown woman, Arthur.” He shakes his head and snatches your underwear.
“I’m gonna need you to keep it pg on this cruise.” He says stretching his arm up so its impossible for you to reach your underwear.
“Stop being a child and give me that.” You hold out your hand and he stares down at you not letting up.
“Come on! I don’t have time to play around, the boat is leaving this evening.”
You reach up, putting your hand on his shoulder, “Please,” You plead, he sighs and finally hands it to you.
Zipping up your suitcase, you roll it in the hallway by the front door. You shove him out your room, “Aria will literally kill me if I’m late.”
“It won’t be the end of the world.” He tries to persuade you to let him stay but you are relentless.
“No. But it will be the end of our vacation.” He turns to you in your doorway, towering over you.
“A moment can’t hurt…come on.”
He leans down mere centimeters from your lips. Temptation calls out to you, just one moment won’t hurt. You put your lips against his. A peck is all that could be managed with how fast you pulled away.
“Arthur, I can’t do this.” You keep your distance with your hand on his chest.
“What do you mean? Its a kiss.” He bites his lip, thinking about that teasing peck.
“A kiss that turns into touching, that turns into sex, that turns into you…not wanting a relationship after you rocked my world the night before,” You see the guilt in his eye,
“We tried that whole thing and it didn’t work. I know what I want and I’m not settling for less.” He runs his fingers through his hair.
“I rocked your world, huh?” He smugly says, but the unamused look on your face says that this isn’t the time to joke.
“Bottom line is, you’re not ready for commitment.” You take a deep breath, slowly closing the door on him.
“So I’m going to pack matching lace sets, short dresses and swimsuits that shouldn’t be labeled as such because I’m not casual sex, I am a person that deserves to be valued and not seen as a personal fuck toy.”
You closed the door on him, not letting him issue a response. It needs to sink in for him. You met up with Aria and got on the cruise, as soon as you both got your bags sent to your room you changed into swimsuits and lounged on the top deck by the pool.
“and I told him, I’m not casual sex, I deserve to be valued as a woman.” You tell her, taking a sip of your margarita.
“I know thats right. It was long overdue. You let him get away with too much shit.”
You take out the straw and down the drink, sighing.
“He fucks so good.” She laughs at your blunt words.
“And he can be sweet from time to time. He checks off all the boxes and I mean all.”
She opens her mouth to ask you further questions but ultimately takes you word for it. Continuing to listen you ramble on.
“He just can’t commit. Its always something and its always me!” A worker picks up your empty glass and asks if you want another.
“Pina colada with extra vodka please.” They nod to you.
“Darling, that’s just men. There’s always something wrong when you find the “perfect” guy. Whether that be snoring or in-laws. Sometimes I wonder if life was easier when we were dating women.”
She puts on her shades.
“For now lets tan or get darker in our case and we’ll continue this conversation in the room. I can feel the conservative stares.”
You chuckle at her and smile closing your eyes.A few days in and your battling a crazy hangover. You were in the Bahamas for two days, Aria had family there so she spent time with them while you recovered. You got food and everything but you stayed in the room.
“When you see him after the cruise, tell him how you feel and if he isn’t honest with you then forget him for wasting your time.”
Her words repeated in your head, thats one thing you could depend on her for. Telling you what you needed to hear, no matter how much you hated it. Looking out on the balcony from the comfort of your bed, the sun was long gone and the moon shined on the ocean. You contemplated going out to the deck party but you didn’t want to push your luck, you were convinced you were one shot away from throwing up if you didn’t recover properly.
“I guess drinking my problems away only does so much.” You smack your pillow over your face.
A banging was irritating you and the tv wasn’t doing enough. Getting out the bed you drink some water from the fridge and the banging continues, at this point it wasn’t in your head. Looking around, you figured that it was coming from the balcony door. Opening the locked door, you’re immediately backed into the room.
“I can handle those little outfits you wear but body shots is where I draw the line.” He says as he locks the door behind him.
“How did you get here?” You ask, jaw dropped.
“And you saw my story?” He looks at you from head to toe and shifts his stance.
“Of course I saw it. Me and 600 other people.” You nod.
“Why are you here? Did you get so horny, you had to track me down?” You cross your arms over your chest.
“No, don’t be ridiculous. Thats not the reason I came. I came because-“
“-Let me stop you right there. You came all this way somehow. Cut to the chase.” You tell him sternly with your finger placed against his lips, having a strong feeling he was on the verge of ranting.
“Can I kiss you?” He asks, not making any moves yet.
“No, you cannot.”
Who were you kidding of course you wanted to kiss him, honestly kissing barely touched the surface of what you wanted him to do to you.
“I understand. My life was a mess the week you were away. I found out I was a potential royal air to Atlantis, my half brother reeked havoc on the surface, tried to kill me in a duel, I found my mom, became king and I had a few near death experiences on the way.”
That is hard to follow up. Staring at him, your jaw slightly drops to his summary.
“This all happened in a week?” You exclaim in clear bewilderment. Processing everything he said to you, you smile to him.
“You found your mom.”
He smirks, you know how much it means to him to finally be with his mom. He always talked about how he wanted to at least have a conversation with her, he wanted her to see his growth and now he finally has that.
“So you’re a king?” He hums to your question, “Hopefully they know what they’re in for,” He nudges you, chuckling at your remark. Noticing how close you are to him, your breathing slows.
“I thought about what you said and is that really what you think? I see you as a sex toy?” You take a steady step back, your mind sways in distaste at those words leaving his mouth.
“You can reassure me all you want but your actions say so much.”
The eye contact was intense, he was looking for a lie something that told him you were lying but there was nothing. You were telling the truth. At this he practically collapsed on the bed, his hands stabilizing himself on his knees.
“Y/n, I don’t know what to say. What can I say?” He laughs sarcastically to himself.
“I don’t see you as a sex toy. I never did. Ever. I just…I have issues and I know you deserve way better than what I have to give you. But I want you. I always did, still do and I tried to stop, move on but that didn’t work.”
He says pouring out his truth to you. You know exactly what he’s talking about. That long night you two shared together, he lost his restraint? Pushing his hair back, he watches as your face goes through so much realization at once.
“I can work on my commitment issues. I can grow, I can mature. I will do whatever I possibly can to be a fraction of the man you need.”
You’ve never heard him speak about his feelings and issues so much. When you tried he would always change the subject but he was facing it head on. Whatever he’s been through definitely changed him for the better.
“Arthur.”
His name lingers on your lips as you move closer, standing directly in front of him. Doing your best to hold back tears, you take a breath.
“I-I…” The words couldn’t manifest on your tongue as you burst into tears. Wiping the tears away, you see him staring at you and embarrassment fills your whole being.
“I’m sorry. I need a moment.” You go to the bathroom in a rush.
Looking in the mirror, you shake your head. Crying in front of him had to be a new low. In the two years, you’ve cried over the whole mess of a relationship you both had, if you can even call it that, but you never cried in front of him. At all. He sat in shock. What did he say? Did he say the wrong things? His mother told him to speak from the heart and thats what he did. The whole thing is so overwhelming. When you saw him, you were determined to break things off but now you can’t bring yourself to do it. As corny as it might sound, it would feel like a piece of you was taken if you were to do it. Pulling yourself together, you grab a tissue, open the door and there he was ready to knock.
“I’m at a lost for words,” You sniffle, blowing your nose, “I was holding onto this for two years, just to hear you say that as I was ready to break this off.” He backs up as you get out the bathroom. His face visually drained, the optimism he had before now disappeared.
“Do you mean it?” You hiccup and he perks up, “I don’t want you saying all this to get in my pants.” You point to him and he puts his hands up, shaking his head.
“I mean it. I do. Sex didn’t even cross my mind.” You grace him with a small smile, complimented with puff eyes and tear stains.
Slowly he cups your cheeks, wiping your face with his thumbs. Leaning into you, he kisses the top of your head and hugs you. Rapping your arms under his arms, he holds you tightly and close to his chest. Stroking your head.
“I’m so glad you’re safe.” He mutters into your bonnet. The embrace was loving as if he was deathly afraid of losing you.
“I don’t want you to keep crying so let's stop talking about feelings for now.” You chuckle into his chest, looking up to him.
“I agree.”
You both figured things out yet tension was still in the air. Jealousy was somehow in the air. Shifting his head down, he kisses you. It’s no mediocre or shy kiss it was demanding and wanting. He was fully in the moment and so were you. Moving your arms up, you hooked them around his neck and he moved his down to your waist. Forcing his tongue in your mouth, he takes a breath through his nose. Drinking you in, squeezing your waist to make sure this moment is real. He went through so much just to recognize a great woman like you and understand not to let you go. This is the perfect moment. The moment for him to prove himself to you in this new relationship. Breaking away from the kiss, you hum as you lean your head back.
His kisses trail down your neck. Erratic patterns all over it, with the way he’s moving you know the hickeys will be more than visible even with your melanin skin. His touch is burning on your cold skin, you’re convinced steam is radiating off you with every touch and kiss.
“mm, arthur.”
You breathe out, sigh of relief leaving your lips as your shorts slide down your legs. He stops briefly, making sure you want this. Looking down to you, tenderness is seen in his eyes.
“touch me arthur.” You strip your skimpy shirt, revealing the matching set he was teasing you about.
“Keep talking to me like that and you might not like what I do.” He smiles, gripping you by the thighs and dumping you on the bed.
“This is your favorite color isn’t it?” You tempt him, the green lace on your body the physical representation of temptation.
The amount of wetness piling up in your underwear clearly amusing and exciting him as you hear a grunt rumble from his chest. Eyeing your body with a burning flame and pouncing on you, crawling on top of you. The bikini line that shows under your bra, your brown skin turning a shade darker from the sun, your tired hungover gaze and your curves. The dips on either side of your hips, the little chub on your stomach thats perfectly proportionate to your thighs and your soft shiny skin.
He notices everything, the inside of your thighs were calling to him, blinding him with the sparkly trail of wetness that left your cunt, your cute aching cunt. He shouldn’t be rewarding you, he thought, he should be punishing you for leaving him with a painful boner every time he saw you. But punishing is for another day, tonight is all about making everything up to you. Goodness are you attractive, your beauty alone makes him forget about every problem, every responsibility he has. All he thinks about is you when you’re in his view. He ran his hands over your body, soft touches from your knees to the inside of your thighs to tight squeezes at the sides of your stomach to light rubbing on your arms.
Reaching behind your back, he unclips your bra taking a good look at your breasts as he throws the clothing to the side. His hands cup your chest and you roll your eyes, slapping your hands on top of his to ensure he doesn’t move them. A cocky smirk plays at his lips as he leans down into your ear.
“tell me what you want,” he breaths lowly against your cheek, a moan falling from your lips as his knee nudges your clit.
“I want you to fuck me. Fuck me into the sheets. Please, please, pretty please.”
Your desperation meets no ends as you immediately beg him, you’ve experienced his strokes before, you know what you’re in for and thats what makes this even more of a tease.
"I guess I should give you what you want. Since you asked so nicely.”
You nod repeatedly as finger plays with the hem of your underwear. Yanking them down your legs, you kick them down, flinging them off them bed. You make things too easy for him, who needs foreplay when you’re so wet. Pushing a finger in your tight hole, its goes in without a problem. Unbuckling his pants, he takes them off and pushes them to the floor. Cock on full display for you, rubbing his soaked finger on the head of his dick, his breath shuddered. Pumping his dick a few times, he makes sure he’s his hardest for you before lining up with your hole.
You tap your stomach in anticipation, waiting patiently to be filled up with his big cock. Pushing through your squeezing he groans, halfway through he stops to take a few deep breaths.
“I missed your hole.” He grunts lowly, sounding pussy drunk when not even his tip is inside.
“Your pretty little pussy.”
His hand reaches down rubbing your clit as he hastily bullies his way inside your gummy walls. Your toes curl at the stretch and you feel the coil in your tummy winding up with each moment he's inside you.
“no one...m'..can fuck- fuck me like you.”
You gasp as he leans down, moving out of you and pushing in, he smirks. You’ve been craving this even if you never wanted to admit it out loud, you were singing like a canary for him and he couldn’t have loved it more.
“miss me, baby?” His hips pulled back and snapped forward, finally finding a sinful stroke.
He was knocking into you like he didn’t travel thousands of miles to see you on this boat. Speaking of, the rough currents of the deepest waters couldn’t touch the way he thirstily thrusted into you. The hangover will be the least of your worries later. Tightening your legs around his waist, your nails move across his back, threatening to break the skin barrier, shortened moans leaving your lips as wind is knocked out of your lungs with every move of his hips. He was determined to fuck that bonnet off your head so he can pull on your braids, making you tell him you love him, he knows you do. Why would you put so much effort into a person and relationship if you didn’t, but he was executing this step by step.
“w-wow.. A-arthur.” Your core was twisting and churning, your fingers could not match up to the climax you’re about to get from this man. His words are now registering to you.
“I did…m-miss you. Oh fuck. Yes! I did.” You whine in his arms, his hand tries pushing your legs down, all you can do is smile as he looks you in the eyes. Trapping him in a tight hold, your cunt soaks his dick, his tip curving and scraping the top of your g spot. Your nails scratched down his entire back as you came down from your high, moaning.
Prying your legs off him, he sits up, resting them on his shoulders. All the while watching as your face twists up from the sensitivity, the skin slapping matched with his balls hitting your ass over and over makes you want to stay on this boat forever.
“You’re so tight. Loosen up a little.” He asks as his movements slow down, he knows you’re doing it on purpose now.
“I don’t want to hurt you.” He says referring to him getting lost in you, shaking your head you grab his hand and interlock your fingers.
“its okay…” You smile to him and your hooded eyes gave away how dick drunk you are but if you say you’re okay then you’re okay. Keeping the slow pace, he pounds into you. The position mocked missionary and your soul honestly can’t take anymore of him staring into you with his piercing eyes. His other hand made its way to your head as he flipped you into another position, pulling off your bonnet and he holds onto your braids.
“Arthur!” You wince, head being pulled back and your back forced to arch, he had you on all fours. Right where he wanted you.
“do you have to be…this rough?” You whine and grunt as he holds your braids tighter. He’s considerate of where to pull your hair, so he doesn’t yank out your braids.
“What makes you think you don’t deserve it? I could do much worse. If you want that.” He says to you in between pants, his voice hitting a dangerous low in your ear. The promising opportunity leaving a smirk on your lips. Hitting your high once again, your body tingles all over, it felt like butterflies but more intense. Its confusing, isn’t it a tad bit too late for butterflies at this rate? he’s literally inside you.
“Tell me something.” He gathers your attention, pulling you completely out of your bliss and thoughts as his pace reaches a halt.
“And don’t lie to me.” He speaks deeply into your right ear, a message only meant for you to hear as his hand goes down and cups your mound.
“Do you love me?”
You bite your tongue, wincing at the pain. Out of all the things he could say…he said that.
“Is now really the time-“ You turn your head to the side, able to see him out the corner of your eye.
“Yes. Now is the time.” His expression is neutral, no joking or anything of the sorts, he is 100% looking for a truthful answer. You sigh.
“I do love you.”
The silence consumed the both of you as you stood on the bed in fucking position. Was that the answer he’s looking for?
“Say it again.”
He demands, rubbing on your clit as he grips your hair tightly.
“I love you.”
You bite back moaning the words, your fingers tangling in the sheets more and more.
“Again.”
Your legs cross at the ankles as you forcefully squeeze him in you, his fingers on your clit isn’t nearly enough.
“I love you, Arthur.” You exclaim, swallowing heavily and he shifts forward, his beard tickling your shoulder and cheek.
“I love you too.” He says in your ear, a smirk painted on his lips, as he kisses your cheek, neck and shoulder. Taking in a deep breath, you grin.
⋆﹥━━━━━━━━━━━━ ━━━━━━━━━━━━ ﹤⋆
Breathing in and out, you sniffle at the hair that went up your nostril. Moving the hair out your face, you shift on the pillow, basically hiding your face in it. Nothing registered for you yet, for all you care its a regular morning in bed. A slight chill on your neck causes you to shrug and blink your eyes open, turning over your eyes focus on the surroundings.
“Look who’s finally awake.” She says in an sarcastic tone, looking up from scrolling on her phone.
“when did you get back?” You ask in a whisper, your throat sore as hell.
“Last night, although I had to take a detour because of all the ruckus you were making in here.”
She was definitely waiting for you to wake up to tease you. Letting out a short embarrassed giggle, you wave her off.
“you sound like an old lady.” She chuckles at your comment and sighs.
“could you pass me a shirt, I’m pretty naked.” Aria throws a shirt at your head, slipping it on, you sit up and look next to you. Arthur is passed out cold with a raging case of bedhead, the sight is one to be photographed and framed. Stretching and rolling your shoulders, you blink slowly as if your brain is still mush.
“Never thought I’d see the day where an underwear would be flung on my bed.”
You laugh, holding your stomach as she points to the panties she placed on the table in-between both beds.
“So thats where I kicked it.” Getting out the bed, you grab the underwear and put it with your dirty stuff, putting on new undies.
“What time is it?” You ask, picking up the clothes on the floor, folding his up nicely and placing them on the foot of the bed.
“11:42” You nod, stifling a yawn as you scratch your head.
“What on earth did you do to him?”
She utters, genuinely concerned as she stands over him, eyeing the visible hickeys, bites and marks all over him.
“Someone was hungry.”
“Do you ever get tired of teasing me.”
You ask, half rhetorical and half serious. Lifting up to stretch your stiff limbs as you watch her movements.
“Nope, you know what else I never get tired of?”
“Wine.” Your tired voice mixed with her joyous voice in a harmonious yet comedic way.
“So if you’ll excuse me, I have a wine tasting to get to.”
She grabs her purse and waves you off as she leaves the room. A sharp pain hits you in your bladder and you run to the bathroom. As you use the toilet, the pain leaves your stomach and you go back into the room.
“Good morning.” His raspy morning voice just makes you want to crawl under his skin.
“Good morning.” You shoot him a warm smile as he motions you to come closer. Standing by the bed, he reaches up and traces your jawline, rubbing your chin with his finger tips.
Pulling you down to his level to kiss you tenderly, a low moan leaving your lips, his hand moving up underneath your shirt to squeeze your hip.
“How are you feeling?” He breaks the kiss, sits up and off the bed in his boxers.
“I’m good, my stomach is hurting a bit but I’ll live.”
“Where is it hurting?” He helps you lift up your shirt and watches as you point to the area below your belly button.
“Somewhere here.” You grunt softly, accidentally touching the sore spot.
“Here?”
You shake your head.
“Here?”
You see what he’s doing, one hand trying to point out the problem and the other caressing your back, making its way to your butt.
“Here??”
He stares at your stomach, glancing at you for a moment, making you chuckle and utter a no. Your eyes go wide as he gropes your ass, playfully grabbing his wrist, you shake your head.
“You’re not slick.” You chuckle with him.
“Relax, I’m trying to assess your situation, so be a good patient and stay still.” He cackles mid sentence and finds his composure.
“The whore is jumping out, Arthur.” He bursts out laughing as you reach up to fix his hair, pulling down your shirt, you put on your shorts and point to his clothes.
“Let’s get some breakfast, I’m hungry.”
You tell him as your stomach rumbles. Putting on his clothes from last night, he turns to you as he messes with his hair.
“I’ll have to leave soon.” He warns you and you nod.
“Time is money then.” You grin, grabbing your phone and walking to the door with him close behind, before you open the door he spins you around.
“I love you.”
He gives you a kiss on the cheek and one on your lips.
“I love you too.”
You kiss him back several times as if you weren’t sure the others were up to par.
“Alright now we can go.” He says while opening the door for you and putting on some shades.
“Is that mine?” You ask as you walk through the hallway to the elevators, fingers interlocked.
“Yeah.”
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ganondoodle · 10 months
Text
more totk rewritten thoughts
since the mastersword still breaks at the start even in my rewrite, its gotta get restored somehow, so i think i wanna be a little 'classic' about it;
you can find the broken mastersword in a cave system near hyrule castle, its very obvious so you are more likely to come across it and pick it up, it doesnt use up an inventory slot but gets its own just like it did in botw
once you find it zelda inspects it and decides you need to talk to probably purah or impa to determine if its savable, since while it got damaged before its way worse this time; you get told you should ask the deku tree about it (so theres an actual incentive to go to the forest of the krogs/koroks) and discover that its been corrupted
in the corrupted forest you can walk around in freely here, without the mist teleporting you around since the spell of the krogs/koroks isnt working anymore, the center is mostly the same as in canon
zelda detects bigger concentrations of miasma all around the forest, at each point she directs you to is a miniboss, in total there are 3, but while the trees in the forest start to grow leaves again after you defeat each of them (there are mostly to all barren in botw too so i thought that would be a cool thing to siginify the ground has been cleansed more now) the center and the dekutree are still corrupted, however the deku trees insides are now accessible, once you go down there there is a boss (main big one thats unique and not just phantom ganon, tho that WAS a cool moment in canon, im using phantom ganons as the guys you gotta fight for the memory tree thingies so it would be too much reuse u think) once you are done with the first phase it flees into the underground via burrowing down, you follow through the hole and theres phase two in an underground boss arena themed around roots .. since its in the roots of the dekutree still
afterwards the forest goes back to normal (just with the other trees more alive again) and the deku tree tells you to put the sword back into its good ol pedestal, while its not gonna be fortified against miasma it can restore the blade form, and due to you cleansing the forest and making it more healthier it will not take ages to do so
then you are left to your own devices again, but once you reach the middle point of the game, after fighting ganondorf for the first time (which also triggers the miasma memory tree thingies i made a concept of a while back) you can go back to the forest and get the mastersword back, its blade restored physically but it being still vunerable to miasma and has only little attack power
zelda has the idea of going to the springs to ask for a blessing for the sword, however the deku tree suggests to ask the three dragons for it instead (so if you havent tried it yet you are hinted to go and try an land on them, since you couldnt do that in botw, also reference to skyward sword and how the mastersword got to be) after each blessing it gets higher damage and durability; once you obtain all three it still does not seem to be where it should be
now here i am a little unsure about if i want zelda to bless it also (similar to how skysw zelda needed to bless it) or if you should bring it to the giant hylia statue in the forgotten temple
(for zelda it would be neat bc its both a reference and something more character connected, but also you where already hunting down the deku tree and the dragons for it so making you go yet somewhere else again seems a little much; i like the giant statue as a way to guide you there but then again i dont think you an incentive for literally every place)
(on a side note about link shiekah arm, it has a battery that recharges and you can upgrade, but i also thought about making it so you CAN push it past its battery but then it takes from your health instead - like the destroyer in the botw DLC, but slower- which eliminates the need for an equivalent of the lil zonau charges)
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