#so the game feels less concerned about him and more sees Link as a divine governor of power and resources | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zelda-photography · 1 year

Text

TotK Dungeon Thoughts!

Finally finished the first four main dungeons. Whether there's more or not, I'll find out, but I thought I'd make a quickly little post on my general thoughts.

More details below, but up here I'll say: It feels like you were 'expected' to complete them Rito-Zora-Goron-Gerudo (very gently tho). However, I think for the most satisfying route, I'd go Goron-Rito-Zora-Gerudo (if nothing else Goron first).

Rito and Tulin

The game pushes you in the direction of the Rito very strongly when you start the game, and I decided to do them first. Over all, a pretty good choice as you run into a lot of good things on the way.

The story itself, I like! I like that you arrive in Rito Village and only the kids are left, really already telling you a lot about what's going on. I like that Teba was left behind because he's the new chief, rip the old Chief. It also makes me very happy how excited Tulin was to see Link, really showing that Tulin looks up to Link. Tulin having wind powers shows that that was not just a Revali thing, just that he was extremely skilled with his own, and I very much like that.

Tulin's power itself is distinct from Revali's Gale. I miss Revali's Gale because of how useful it was to get around, but it also did makes things a little too easy at times, and Tulin's power feels more in tune with the game as it is, as being able to push yourself through the air is useful. Easily the power I use the most of the sages.

The trip up to the Wind Dungeon is a lot of fun. It just barely doesn't overstay it's welcome, and about halfway through there is a shrine so that you can take a break. Over all, it was a lot of fun, though I was hoping that the flying ships we'd seen were going to appear more in the other places in the sky.

The Wind Dungeon itself is, well, it's fine. It's more distinct in style than the divine beasts, which I like, but I did also like the how the divine beasts you could manipulate things. It's give and take, though, and I get that. What mostly bugs me is how every element felt isolated; solving one part of the dungeon did not help me solve another, and that really bugged me, especially since I had a lot of trouble with a couple of the locks (mostly because I'm dumb but that's besides the point).

I like the boss! It felt really good to dive right through the week points, or to be smart enough and a good enough shot to shoot out the weak points from beneath the boss. It also has you utilize Tulin well enough when you need to dodge the boss.

This was my first dungeon, so the ending cutscene with the previous sage was very good and interesting, and I loved that you get to have a shade of the sage to help you fight! It really captures how one of the themes of Tears of the Kingdom is how much Link is not alone.

Goron and Yunobo

Climbing Death Mountain always sucks a little because I hate the armor, but at least the Gorons live in a place where you don't die trying to reach them, so that's a win in my book. The goron quest line is easily my least favorite, hence why I suggest doing it first. I'm also going back and forth on how much/what I'd change.

I think the marbled rock roast is, ugh, fine I guess as a plot point? The biggest problem to me is that the plot lines of the rest of the regions feel very personal, and make you really really worried about the well being of those there. I'm not not concerned for the Goron, but I could definitely be more concerned.

I'm also undecided on how I feel about Yunobo with the mask. When Yunobo first showed up and was mean, I wanted to punch is teeth in. But also, what an interesting take on the character, where over the years he got maybe a little big in the head over his company and his status, and how it's time to bring him down to earth again. The mask breaking off and him being nice again, I was happy to see my nice friend again, but also he was more or less the same as when I'd last seen him.

The up Eldin Volcano sucked, I totally didn't understand what I was supposed to do with the monster on top of the volcano at first, which made it a little frustrating at first. The mini battle itself was fine enough, though, and flying on the machines is always fun.

Going through the Depths to the Fire Dungeon sucked. I wasn't a huge fan of that, it just felt like padding. Why not put me there just right away?

The Fire Dungeon, like everything else, was fine I guess. I like rails and minecarts a lot, but a lot of the tracks felt too short honestly to be much fun, and sometimes I'd give up navigating them and just straight up climb the sides of the buildings to get where I needed to go. The boss fight, on the other hand, i thought was really nice! It felt good to put Yunobo's power to so much use, it flowered pretty well, It felt both challenging but also like I was prepared for it.

Zora and Sidon

Seeing Zora's Domain all swamped in shit water was a shock and I love how shocking it was and how upset it made me to see the place in such a state. I was immediately invested in finding out what had happened to cause this and how I could help. The statue in Zora's domain with Link and Sidon is great (even if I was worried at first where Mipha's had gone) and SO FUNNY to see it and meet Sidon's fiancee right afterwards.

I like that Yona gets a mantaray head - it immediately sets her off as different from most of the other Zora, and she and her attendents have different armor than the Hyrule Zora. She's a little simplistic as a character, but over all I like her. I another small detail I like is that the child Zora are playing in the water in the throne room, and that room seems to be some of the cleanest water, and I like to imagine that was on purpose. We also see here that healing is magic many Zora have, which I like, but also that it seems hard for them.

Sidon trying so hard to heal as much water as he can, and be the only one putting his life on the line so no one else dies like Mipha, was just so good. It's great set up in BotW, and pay off here of how traumatizing of an experience that was. Again, I like that Yona got to be like 'I know you, Sidon, and I know youre trauma, and I know what you want to and should do in this situation, so do it'.

Getting to the dungeon was so fun! The floaty jumping was a little weird at times, but over all I loved it and gave the path such a distinct feel, a lot like the path to the Wind Dungeon.

The Water Temple was the easiest in my opinion (none of them were overly hard, but this felt really quick to me) (also the Lightning Temple is a close second) ((ALSO ALSO some of that can probably be attributed to me just getting more used to the game and the kind of thought processes it asks of you)) but I thought the way it worked was pretty good. The boss was also very funny, as you were totally set up to expect a like like and instead got the weirdest octorock you've ever seen, and you're pushed to use Sidon's power in a way that feels very natural, though I haven't used it much after this dungeon tbh.

Gerudo and Riju

Going through the desert and seeing the Gerudo Town so destroyed was devastating. This was also where the gibdo were introduced, a suitably creepy enemy for such a scary thing going on. However, they don't stun you. This makes some sense since they show up in such hoards, but also takes away a lot of the scariness of them, and they're almost laughably easy to beat after they've been hit by some kind of elemental attack. Again, I was immediately concerned and wanted to do whatever I could to help the Gerudo. I like that you didn't have to really sneak in (except at first) because you've earned their trust by now and these are extenuating circumstances.

Buliara is one of my fav characters (she was really important in a fanfic I was working on where a new Gerudo male was born) so getting to see her and her specifically vouching for Link absolutely made my day. I like that the Gerudo are utilizing the underground bunker - in general, I love all the times in the game emergency things like that are broken out because these are hard times. Riju, a little older now and training hard, but not frustrated or feeling (at least not acting like) she thought she wasn't good enough was great. She wasn't hitting the mark, but she seemed just focused on training until she could.

The way to the Lightning Temple was okay, It wasn't bad but it wasn't note worthy, although I did like that you got to see the boss before you actually fought her. The best part was when Link had to help defend Gerudo Town from the gibdo. I'm not sure I did actually put together the best plan, but I felt like I helped, and getting the spoils afterwards made it even better.

The temple was a bit weird to navigate, and I'm not even sure I solved everything the way it was 'supposed' to go, but I did it so hey, what more can you ask for. The boss was pretty good, although she was, like, very bug like, and I think it made you kind of go 'oh, the gibdo aren't humans, they're bugs' which further makes them a little less creepy in my opinion.

General/Final Thoughts

Over all, I thought the dungeons felt a lot more like Zelda dungeons than the divine beasts did, and I like them well enough. I wish they were a little trickier, but also I wasn't overly bugged by them being too easy. Each dungeon felt very distinct, which I loved, and you never think you're in one place over the other.

Honestly, my biggest problem is with the Sages. I wish we 1) got names for them or learned more about them and 2) I wish the little cutscenes were a little more distinct.

The end of each dungeon goes: here's the sage, the sage was in the fight and won, Sage of Time told them to recreuit their descendent, wow didn't the Sage of Time look like Zelda? I understand this is because you could visit any dungeon in any order, but I think they would've, like, shown the Sage was in charge of something specific, show more of how the war impacted them specifically, something or anything to make that part more distinct.

Uh, so yeah, I like them, I think they're mostly an improvement over BotW (they both have pros and cons, though, and there are defo things that BotW did better than TotK). Let me know your thoughts about the dungeons if you want! (without spoiling anything past them please ^-^)

#loz #legend of zelda #totk #tears of the kingdom #totk spoilers #mod speaks

20 notes · View notes

hydrachea · 2 years

Note

Lost Underground Anon:

I think that...within...like, a couple *WEEKS* of Volo getting beaten...

Bringing back Akari *would* prevent him from facing serious punishment.

Aside from him losing Giratina, being *F I R E D* from the Guild, and the wider distrust.

You have to understand, without the pall of suspicion, Akari is an *actual hero* to the people! And, despite Volo's crimes being what she was blamed for...Volo himself didn't...actually do anything to her, aside from taking the Plates she had gathered.

However, neither of them know this and aren't too keen on sending so much as a single Zubat to check...so Volo has to live in a cave with Akari for awhile.

And good lord, does Akari make him feel bad! She's just...so excited to see a friendly face she can talk with... But he's hurt, so she offers her bed. She cooks food, she treats his injuries, she goes on about how nice it is to see him...occasionally asking about the few people she was closest to, but mostly just being very concerned *for him*! And as time goes on, she slowly opens up about her fears of the Surface World...About how she's scared that Jubilife hurt her 'mons she couldn't bring with her, her worries over her friends in the Clans and the possibility of them fighting again, the sorrow when she realised her ArcPhone(tm) was stolen (and isn't that a kicker, that weird thing is the sacred artifact Arceus gave her that she *NEEDS* to go home!), how many nightmares she's had of Galaxy Team (especially Kamano) finding and doing horrible things to her...and her deepest worries about where she came from...if she left anyone behind...

And Volo *knows* that he's, directly or indirectly, at fault for so much of that. BUT HERE SHE IS, NURSING HIM TO HEALTH LIKE A CHANSEY!

Lost Underground anon: Ultimately, Volo has to deal with being cared for by Akari...whom he unintentionally destroyed the life of...all the while she's talking about her fears and the joys of the Underground...

And he's going to be living in close quarters with her for weeks, if not MONTHS, as she opens her "home" (it's a Cave, Akari, it doesn't count as a house!) to him and teaches him how to survive and befriend the Pokemon here!

It's an ironic hell, his punishment for causing so much pain to The Chosen One. It has to be!

Oh the irony. Going back together would ensure them a safe life (if full of distrust for Volo, but come on, he earned that) on the surface, but neither of them even want to go back. Even just sending Volo's Togekiss out to overhear a couple conversations would be enough, but they don't even do that because Volo doesn't want to risk Akari learning what he did from anyone but him, and Akari doesn't want to give herself false hopes.

Learning the Arc-Phone is gone would do a number on Volo, too. This whole time he thought Akari was under divine protection, the kind he dreamed to have for himself, but now her link to Arceus is... Gone, stolen by some commoner just like that. For a time it makes him want to go back to the surface, just for that off chance of finding the Arc-Phone and claiming it. But the longer he stays with Akari as she nurses him back to health, the less appealing the idea is. The more he spends time with her the more he understands why she was chosen, and his resentment for her gradually starts fading as he get to see her not as a perfect hero but as someone who suffered and was betrayed just like him. He's still bitter, but it's nowhere near the hatred he displayed when they faced each other at the Spear Pillar in the main game.

Instead of thinking she didn't deserve to be chosen by Arceus, he starts wondering if he really deserves her kindness.

#anon #ask #answer #lost underground au #pokemon #all of it veeeeeeeery gradual #it's still volo and he's still lost everything he's worked towards very recently #but here he gets to see that akari hasn't had it easy since she was exiled #obviously it could be worse but it's clear she's lonely and sad #and yet she's putting all her energy towards caring for HIM #how ironic #if she knew he'd have erased her from existence without a second thought had he succeeded #now he isn't so sure #man anon i've been really enjoying this #i hope i don't go against what you have in mind for this au too much in my replies #i get excited #thanks for sharing it always!

22 notes · View notes

aminiatureworld · 3 years

Text

Give and Take

Characters: Albedo, gn!reader

Word Count: 2,111

Warnings: Injury

Premise: Everything in the world comes with a price. But should you really bear that burden alone?

In which the reader’s vision harms them.

Author’s Note: It’s Valentine’s Day weekend and I’m here to give you all the fanfic-y goodness I can! I’d like to thank lovely anon for requesting this, I hope I did your prompt justice!

Writing this reminded me of why I hate Mount Everest. Also I realize I keep connecting Albedo to Dragonspine. Truly living up to his quests. Similarly to past prompts I injected a hospital into Monstadt because, I mean, of course a huge city will have some sort of hospital. I mean I’m sure there’s also a school and a bakery and such but there’s no point in having that as an in game mechanic.

Version without bulletpoints on Ao3

Albedo

You supposed that you shouldn’t’ve been surprised that a mysterious and indescribable power came with a price. Honestly it wasn’t the vision’s fault that you weren’t the most aware sort of person, that you needed a warning label dropped down from the heavens to accompany the raw elemental energy you’d be handed.

At first you hadn’t really noticed it. I mean sure your hands were a bit tingly, but you’d just been handed a vision! Who would’ve thought you’d have suddenly developed the ability to control Cryo, coating your weapon with it, or simply lifting snowflakes off of your hand? It was a novel experience, and a welcome one at that.

But eventually the reality crept up on you. It was the small things at first. How your hands seemed frightfully cold all of a sudden, the odd purple hue of your fingernails that was now ever present, how you found yourself wearing gloves more and more often. But then came the red spots and the blistering, and you’d come to the sickening realization that this gift you’d been given had turned into a curse.

As the time had passed you’d come to the conclusion that there was nothing to be done about it. The world was made up of give and take, and if you wanted to continue to use your vision – something which had become essential to your life and which you weren’t even sure you could get rid of – you’d simply have to deal with the consequences. You didn’t like to bring attention to it, and though members of your closest circle knew about it you tried to ignore it as much as possible, doing what you can when possible and hiding your perpetually frostbitten hands when not.

And then you’d met Albedo. And if there was one thing you were certain of it was that you were never going to tell Albedo.

Albedo had come into your life unexpectedly, having run into you while searching for ingredients to use in his alchemy. What had started with a pleasant conversation had quickly turned into infatuation, then into love, and suddenly you’d found yourself the happiest you’d been in a long time.

It didn’t feel right to tell him. You knew that Albedo already had his struggles, things that shadowed his face for a moment before he returned to his serene expression. The last thing you wanted to do was to add to those struggles. Especially not about something that simply couldn’t be fixed. You knew he’d run himself ragged looking for a cure, but it was simply the way things were. And in truth you were tired, oh so tired, and it was easier in a way accept your predicament as inevitability rather than try to fight it.

It was a cold day outside, and you silently cursed the Guild for sending you out to deal with some rogue Fatui members in Dragonspine. Already the temperature was near unbearably, adding your issues made it near fatal. Though you’d managed to deal with the Fatui it’d been a long and hard battle, filled less with strategy and more with desperation as you tried to ignore the numbness in your fingers. Your weapon felt clunky in your hand and you felt tears of frustration as you missed over and over again. By the time you’d finished the feeling had spread throughout your body, and you fell over a few times on the way home, legs stiff and unfeeling. You were dreading having to look at them.

You collapsed as soon as you stepped inside, crying out as your blistered arms hit the wooden floor. Bath, you had to get to the bath. Your legs seemed near useless, dragging behind you, feeling like dead weight. As you peeled off your slightly damp clothes the sight that met you caused your heart to shudder, and tears of fear clouded your eyes. Your skin was of a ghastly white complexion, tinged with blue at the back of your knees and near your ankles. Already you could see the heat blisters forming and you wondered whether bathing might even be worthwhile at this point, or whether it could lead to even more tissue death.

You leaned against the wall, suddenly seized with fatigue. Though you knew that you should get up, should keep moving, that sleep could be deadly, you remained as you were. You were just so tired, and so confused. Why? Why did it have to be like this? You never saw Albedo suffering like this, never saw your fellow guild members toil on, day after day, suffering from that which allowed their livelihood. Why did you suffer this way?

You realized it was incredibly useless to stew in it. After all you’d come so far, grown so much. You knew the risks and you continued to act as if there were none. Was it not expected then that you would continue to struggle? Besides it was payment. You shouldn’t expect anything to happen without something else happening, especially in cases such as these. No one would just hand you a wad of money without expectations, why should magic have a different system? Really you just needed to get up, get up and… what were you doing again?

Right as your grasp on the situation became exceedingly tenuous the door opened.

“Sorry for arriving a bit late my dear, I hope – ”

Whatever Albedo was going to say it was replaced by the sound of something dropping, accompanied by a sharp intake of breath.

“What happened?” Albedo’s voice was sharp, filled with concern and with determination. You shook your head slightly, though even your neck felt as if was cracking with every movement.

“Nothing. I just, I…” you weren’t quite sure how to answer that, your mind felt like it was barely functioning, “…this is normal.”

“It’s certainly not normal.” Albedo dropped down besides you, slinging your arm over his shoulder – something you barely registered. “Who or what in the name of the Seven caused this?”

“Me.” You replied, still trying to focus on what was going on, to mixed up in fear and fatigue to try to spin lies. “I did this. I told you. Normal.”

“You’re being delirious.” By this point Albedo had managed to pick you up. Kicking the door all the way open he barely turned back to close it, instead running through the streets, turning towards the hospital.

“No, it’s true. It’s… my…” you began to push on the brakes but it was too far into the confession for that now “… my vision. This is my vision.” The look that Albedo gave you was pure alarm. Shaking his head he cursed under his breath.

“As soon as you’ve healed we’re talking about this.”

You didn’t want to think how the whole scenario might’ve turned out in a world without magic. Though the healing was slow going – it took you almost a whole week of hospitalization and half of it in intensive care to finally be considered in the clear. You hadn’t been conscious the whole way, having been through various treatments and surgeries, but when you woke up in your hospital room Albedo was invariably there.

The already reticent alchemist was practically a statue. He said little to you, and what was said were little things, encouraging words, comforting little nothings. There was nothing substantial in his sentences, and you sensed that he was waiting. Whether that was for your recovery or for your confession you weren’t entirely sure.

The day that you were finally released was surprisingly warm, and your hands were slightly sweaty in their mittens. Not that it mattered. It’d been over a week since you’d last used your vision, and you were feeling as good as new. Considering what you’d just gone through that was perhaps unsurprising.

Albedo met you right as you signing the last of some paperwork. A smile was on his face, and he made no attempt to hide his affection, slinging his arm around your waist. You smiled back at him, finally happy to be done with the whole dilemma. Kissing him on the cheek – something which brought about an intense blush on his part – you let out a triumphant “I’m going home.”

“Yes my darling, you are.” Albedo replied.

The walk home turned out to be a bit of a long one. The two of you stopped for lunch, discussing this and that. After a week of practically no conversation you were bursting with random thoughts. The simple act of talking to Albedo felt divine, and you reveled in it. You also kept your hands constantly linked, although you joked that it must be a bit difficult considering your mittens. Albedo simply shook his head.

“I love when our hands are joined, no matter the context.”

Finally you two arrived home. Throwing yourself on the familiar couch you let out a sigh of relief.

“Would you like some tea?” Albedo called out.

“Yes!” You replied, before picking up a book you’d left on the coffee table. You’d missed being surrounded by familiar things.

Albedo placed the tea on the table before sitting next to you. You leaned into his shoulder picking up the tea and blowing on it slightly.

“Darling?”

“Yes?” You replied smiling at him. Albedo’s gaze was that of seemingly perfect happiness, but curiosity lurked behind that, and even more than curiosity was worried.

“I was wondering if you might not tell me more about what you said when I was carrying you to the hospital. About your vision.”

You paused for a moment. Not that you weren’t expecting this, indeed you were surprised Albedo hadn’t brought it up when you were in the hospital; though you appreciated his reticence. You’d decided during your recovery that you might as well tell him. There was no point in hiding it after what had just passed. Not that you truly believed you could.

So you told him, pausing here and there, trying to explain why you’d never told him.

“I mean it’s sort of expected, isn’t it? I was given a vision after all. Surely I must have something taken away, some burden placed on me in return?” You finished.

“Of course not.” Albedo’s tone was slightly brusque, but you sensed nothing behind it. Indeed your partner looked five seconds from passing out himself, his face having taken on a ghastly pallor. He brought his hand up to your cheek and you leaned into his palm, savoring this small moment. “I’m sorry you’ve been suffering this way.” He murmured.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with this now.” You replied, voice just as soft. “I didn’t want to burden you with my plight. But I’m also sorry I hid it from you for so long.”

“That’s a bit contradictory my love.” Albedo let out a huff of a laugh. You simply shrugged, knowing that what he said was true. “I wish to help you.” He continued. “You shouldn’t have to continue to suffer like this. Your experience with your vision should be like mine; purely a blessing, without hint of a curse.” He paused, glancing away slightly, expression suddenly thoughtful.

“It’s true, what you say. Most of this world is governed by the laws of exchange. We put in coal and get out diamonds, at the price of intense heat and pressure and work. Energy only converts but it never simply converts to what you want. That is one of the first things one must understand when it comes to alchemy.”

Albedo glanced back at you. Saying nothing he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, then your cheeks, before finally pressing his lips to yours, giving you a brief, almost reverent kiss. “But that’s the wonder about magic you see.” He continued. “Magic lives outside these laws, scoffs at all the silly things the natural world must abide by. Magic is utterly self-contained, and with it comes the ability to do miraculous things, all without worrying about what one must give up. So you see, my love, there is no reason you should suffer.”

The rest of the nice was spent peacefully, filled with soft laughter and tender kisses. When you fell asleep – cuddled up against the man you loved the most, limbs entangled here and there – you felt nothing but peace, peace and a great deal of relief. You’d trust in this world that Albedo envisioned, one without continual struggle, without endless suffering. For you knew he adored you as you adored him, and, that being true, even if there wasn’t a way for you to live a calmer, happier life, he’d make it happen.

#wasn't sure whether or not to bullet point this cause it was only one character #but since the reader specifically requested a scenario and not a fic I decided to keep format #but like I said non bullet points on ao3 #slightly angsty I know but like idk man #it's my vibe #albedo #albedo x reader #genshin impact #genshin impact fanfiction #scenarios #my writing #requested

191 notes · View notes

c-is-for-circinate · 3 years

Text

So as close as I am to fully escaping Hades for the first time, I figure I might take this opportunity to write down a couple of things I'm scared of from this ending. The story is so good so far! But I have seen good stories before! And there are patterns, right, patterns it's so easy for even good stories to fall into, so yeah, I have fears, and they mostly come down to Hades himself.

(Yep, this one got long again! People seem to be enjoying my game-reaction rambles, so, for your enjoyment under the cut: themes of separation and reunion, predictions for what Zagreus is the god of, and a whole lot of discussion of familial abuse dynamics, how they're depicted in fiction, and the work it takes to change them in real life. Stay warned! Stay safe!)

(ALSO, I still haven't made it past the first couple of chambers in the Temple of Styx, so no spoilers in the reblogs/comments please! Yes, even though the whole post is me going on about predictions and hopes and concerns about the path the story might take. I WILL GET THERE SOON.)

It has been really interesting watching some of the stuff the game is doing with themes of parting and reunion, and how that corresponds to life and death. So many of our social links are about reuniting estranged loved ones: Chaos and Nyx, Eurydice and Orpheus, Patroclus and Achilles. Hades is estranged from Olympus, Persephone left. And every time we leave, or try to leave, it is both an attempt at a parting (and Meg and Than are so hurt by that goodbye, or lack thereof) and an attempt at a reunion with our mother. Every time we die it's a reunion, every time we die it's fun, it's great, we get to go back home and check in with all of our friends and be impressed by whoever made Employee Of The [Timeperiod] and sell fish to the cook and put down yet more rugs. (My Zagreus has something of a rug addiction. What can you do.)

It's at the point where I feel pretty secure in stating that Zagreus is going to discover eventually that he is both life/death/rebirth god, and god of partings and reunions. Both halves of both of those things. People leave each other when they die and re-find their loved ones in death; you go away from one group of people to come back to another; you have to depart to return, and I really think that's where we're going to end up with Zagreus. He's going to reunite his various friends with their loved ones, he's probably going to restore communications between Hades and Olympus and even Persephone, he's going to reunite with his mom, and he's going to come back to the Underworld before he leaves to see everyone up top all over again. And of course the vehicle for all of this coming and going is death, because death is the ultimate departure and reuniter. (This is absolutely a religious concept containing a whole bunch of "oh hey our culture has a lot of Christian influence, doesn't it", Greek trappings aside, but that's fine, it's a game made in 2018 not 300 BC, these things happen. They keep calling the Underworld 'hell' and 'infernal'. It's all good.) Of course he's a cthonic god. Of course he bleeds, because you have to bleed in order to die, and Zagreus has to die again and again and again. That's his whole thing.

Thing is, though, looking at those themes, I am also continually aware of the fact that some partings are for a really good reason. Some partings should not end in reunion.

Yes, of course this is about Hades the abusive dad. I have been talking about Hades the abusive dad basically non-stop since I started playing this game, where did you think this post was going.

There are a few things I'm nervous about, separate but related, and at the core it all comes down to, I'm not okay with it if we learn why Hades got to be this way, and Zagreus forgives him as we-the-audience are meant to do, and Hades promises to do better, and nothing concrete about the situation is forced to change. Actual, meaningful, practical, logistical, non-hypothetical non-metaphorical change, not just for Zagreus but for Hades himself.

Because I know how this story tends to go, in fiction. Fictional abusive parents (especially in fantasy/sci-fi stories) tend to come in two types: 'coerced their offspring into actual murder with a side of physical abuse and optional unethical lab experimentation', or 'this was here to create character conflict, we didn't mean for it to read as actually abusive, this parent just has flaws to make them a good character, we swear!' Hades isn't the first type--we have never once seen Hades strike his son, or anybody, or even come out from behind his desk--which means that the fear is, always, always, in every piece of fiction, that he's the second. That the writers are going to decide that the right response to his abuses is remorse, forgiveness, and one really good conversation. That they don't realize it's abuse in the first place.

And, like. They have to know, right? They have to. They can't have done this by accident. (Sometimes, writers get so close by accident.) They can't have done so well at drawing out this situation simply by going, 'well, people are meant to fear this god, so they'd probably react like this, and I guess based on what I've seen in other stories or vague acquaintances they'd then do this,' and never put the name on the situation. Every single time we leave to the tune of a Hades word-flash, he's being dismissive, insulting, and sometimes downright cruel. He is cruel. They have to know!!!

But oh boy have I been consuming media for a lot of years, and oh boy have I run into a lot of writers who don't know.

Reconciliation is such a loaded word, but stories about dysfunctional families really do love it. Stories based around themes of reunion are primed for it. And of course, it's nice, it ties a happy ending off with a sweet little bow, everyone gets to be with the people they love and the family is safe and nobody gets hurt, but so rarely have I seen stories that show the actual work required to rebuild those relationships in a realistic or meaningful way. So rarely do stories trying to build that happy ending actually let the victim of abuse set and maintain boundaries. The character never gets to actually just cut the damn ties to the thing that hurt them. The character so rarely even gets to be safe.

And it's so hard in this game specifically, because "THERE IS NO ESCAPE", because every single thing about this game says that the story's not over when Zagreus gets to the surface, that no matter what he's going to have to come back. It's so hard, because this is a game about reunions. I am not going to get an ending where the abused kid trying to flee his toxic home and abusive dad actually gets to leave and stay gone, not in this one. And that hurts (I have watched and supported and done my best to help multiple real-life friends get the fuck out of homes like that, and stay gone, I have seen how hard it is, how complicated, how awful, and there are never stories for that), but I can live with it, if I get an ending where Zagreus is at least safe. Where things change. Where they really change.

Which is why I need actual, concrete, material changes in the logistics and power structure of the Underworld for this ending to be okay. Understanding why Hades is Like That doesn't cut it. Remorse doesn't cut it! Because look, even if Hades wants to do better, even if he admits he's at fault and tries to be better, he is still set up in a position as an all-powerful tyrant, and trying to become a better person is hard. There is nobody around who can keep him in check when he starts backsliding, which he will. Even if he doesn't want to, he will.

Because people are people, and it's really difficult to break patterns! Especially if everything around them stays the same. Hades is going to slip at some point, be cruel, be callous, be tyrannical, no matter how much of an effort he's making. Not to mention, it is STRESSFUL to face your own crimes and improve, it sucks, it feels bad. And what do habitual abusers do when they feel bad? What's the only coping mechanism Hades appears to have established for dealing with his own shit? That's right, it's inflicting suffering on everyone else around him. (This is why it doesn't really matter what circumstances drove Hades to act this way, why it can't matter--I believe that he is suffering, but he copes with that suffering by inflicting additional suffering on everyone around him, everyone who relies on him, and that's still true no matter what made him feel bad to begin with.) So then we just get a great old guilt-->lashing out-->more guilt-->more lashing out merry-go-round of abuse even as Hades is trying to change. That's how these things work. And yes, change is possible, improvement is absolutely possible, but the environment needs to change first. The system that enables and rewards Hades for acting this way can't stay in place. Things need to actually change, with people who are around to support Hades in his growth and also check his power, people who have power of their own to stop him. And however it happens, for this story with this protagonist with these goals to feel like a happy ending, Zagreus needs to be safe.

It would be okay, though a little disappointing, if those changes were mostly based in magic and fate and, idk, divine mind-control. (This story has been so grounded in actual human dynamics that a fantastical solution to a realistic problem would feel like a letdown, but if it actually solved the problem I'd be okay with it, more or less.) It would be okay, though a little disappointing, if the responsibility for bringing Hades to heel fell upon Zagreus and Persephone, if the two family members who he hurt badly enough that they felt the need to run away from him entirely now had to shoulder the burden of helping him fix himself. (There are definitely ways to write that dynamic better and ways to write it worse, and I think I trust these writers to land on the 'better' side of the scale, but I still don't love the implications.) I think I'd be pretty into it if Hades took a vacation off to Olympus to Work Out His Shit with his own family, while a coalition of Meg, Nyx, Thanatos, Zagreus, and Queen Persephone took over running the Underworld in his absence. I think we might end up getting some combination of those things. I'm hopeful. I think these writers might know what they've written. I think they might have a sense for what it'll take to fix.

But yeah, I'm nervous. (Nervous enough that I might switch to God Mode just to get through, combat has started getting really tedious instead of fun, I want to know what happens next, and this is a game and there is no shame in making it more fun for myself by making the boring parts a little quicker and easier.) I've seen so many stories go wrong. This one has done so much to earn my trust. We'll see if it breaks.

#Hades game #Hades spoilers #driveby meta attack #C plays stuff #I have so much hope!!!!~!#I have so much fear!!!!!#DO NOT TELL ME WHAT THE ANSWER IS GOING TO BE!!!!!

52 notes · View notes

mysticmachmir · 4 years

Text

Tarot Through a Jewish Lens (Part I)

Is Tarot Jewish?

No. Tarot was not a Jewish creation and nor does it come from Kabbalah. When Waite made his famous RWS deck, he was a Christian occultist/magician and part of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn and also formed his own Fellowship of the Rosy Cross. He was a Catholic involved in 'western esotericism' and fell under the learnings of Eliphas Levi. Eliphas Levi was not a Jewish man. He was a French gentile occultist who changed his name from Alphonse Louis Constant to Éliphas Lévi Zahed -- why? He wanted his magical works to sound more authentically exotic (aka, Jewish) because he appropriated from Jewish mysticism and skewed it for his own wants. He believed that Kabbalah was the "linking factor between the Old Testament and the New Testament", and that is rooted in Christian supersessionism, a violent ideology that has resulted in many murders of the Jewish people. Another example is the french occultist, Court de Gébelin, who claimed that the Major Arcana were numbered to correspond to the 22 letters in both the Egyptian and Hebrew alphabets. It didn’t seem to trouble him that at the time different versions of the deck that was in circulation sometimes had more than and sometimes less than 22 Major Arcana cards. Or that ancient Egyptians didn’t use an alphabet.

So no. Tarot was created as a playing card game, sprung up in Italy, Germany, and France. It was not intended for 'occult' use until much later. And still, in no way shape or form, was it ever Jewish in origin. In the Torah, besides certain kinds of divination/tools, divination is forbidden and Tarot is considered avodah zarah (idolatry) because it is a non-Jewish practice.

Now I'm sure you're asking: Well you read tarot, why are you telling me this? Aren't you incriminating yourself? I'm telling you because I want to stress and push back against cultural appropriation and Christian supersessionism that is rooted in these beliefs, and I want to make it clear that the relationship between a Jew, halacha, and G!d is on them - but to not fool oneself claiming a non-Jewish practice is actually Jewish. That, I think, is more ludicrous than just using tarot.

Alright, now onto the fun parts and what you are here for.

My Jewish Theology with Tarot

So, this is all my personal theology which obviously you do not have to share. I am Jewish and practice religious Judaism. I believe that there is only one G!d, Hashem, and that They are everywhere and in everything. In academic terms, I am a monotheistic panentheist. This aligns with a lot of Jewish mysticism, especially Chassidus, and consider myself a crossover between the Conservative Jewish denomination and Renewal, with a solid base in the American Neo-Hasidic movement . (Conservative =/= political right-wing in the Jewish movements). I deeply respect Jewish traditions, halacha, and have put a lot of thought in what I believe and how it relates to tarot. There will be of course Jews who disagree with me, but I'm not here to dwell on that. When I read tarot, I am not asking the cards to tell me the answer I am seeking - the cards are a tool, an object, and do not possess spirits of their own. I am asking G!d. Now, angels won't interfere, but sheydim (demons) can. I will talk about protections/rituals one can use to avoid sheydim meddling later. As for questions like: How does one ethically divine? How much power do interpreters have? Does G!d plan everything? Do we have free will when it comes to our future? Let’s look to source texts. “All is foreseen, but free will is given.” —Rabbi Akiva, Pirke Avot 3:15 "Rabbi Bena’a: There were twenty-four interpreters of dreams in Jerusalem. One time, I dreamed a dream and went to each of them to interpret it. What one interpreted for me the other did not interpret for me, and, nevertheless, all of the interpretations were realized in me, to fulfill that which is stated: All dreams follow the mouth of the interpreter." —Berakhot 55b "The Gemara asks: But doesn’t Rav say that any divination that is not like the divination of Eliezer, the servant of Abraham, when he went to seek a bride for Isaac (see Genesis 24:14), or like the divination of Jonathan, son of Saul, who sought an omen as to whether he and his arms bearer would defeat the Philistines (see I Samuel 14:8–12), is not divination? Since Rav did not rely on the omen in his decision making, he did not violate the prohibition against divination, and there was no reason for him to penalize himself." —Chullin 95b "What is a diviner? One who takes his stick in hand and says, (as though he were consulting it), “Shall I go, or shall I not go?” So does it state, (Hoshea 4:12) “My people ask counsel of their stick, and their staff declareth unto them” (Sifrei Devarim 171:6). (3) מעונן — Rabbi Akiba said, Such are people who assign times (עונות plural of עונה “period”, “time”) — who say, “This time is auspicious to begin some work”; the Sages, however, say, It refers to those “who hold your eyes under control” (who delude by optical deception; they connect מעונן with עין “eye”) (Sifrei Devarim 171:9)." —Rashi on Devarim 18:10-12 "... here he does not rely on the אות which he had stipulated, but where he asked G’d in prayer for help, saying that if certain things were to happen he would regard this as a sign that his prayer had been answered favorably (compare Ibn Ezra there). When the Talmud Chulin 95 כל נחש שאינו כאליעזר עבד אברהם ויהונתן בן שאול אינו נחש, the meaning is that “any divination which is not like that of Eliezer or that of Yonatan ben Sha-ul is not a divination,” i.e. is not permissible, but is akin to relying on witchcraft [Unless the person requesting a sign does so as a prayer directed to G’d it is forbidden. Ed.]" —Sforno on Beresheit 24:14 “The true power of the tarot lies in its ability to channel a clear path for our deep intuition to shine through. Consulting the tarot can help clear creativity blockages, clarify ambitions, work through complex decisions, and make sense of emotions and relationships.” —Holistic Tarot, Benebell Wen

In my interpretation of these quotes, I gather a few things:

1. In Jewish thought, dreams are 1/60th prophecy. However, dreams follow the mouth, i.e. interpretations. Multiple interpretations can be true. Being a confident and learned interpreter is important. While I did not quote it, the sages also advise the one should pay your interpreters fairly.

2. Hashem has given humans free will, so we can make our own choices. That is unique to us as beings, unlike angels. G!d already knows the possible outcomes.

3. It is not divination to notice and realize patterns or answers as long as you do not use it as an omen to change immediate course - examples the sages mention in specific are "a piece of bread falls from your mouth, so you decide not to walk to the lake", i.e, seeking 'signs' and omens randomly to direct your life.

4. Rashi's explanation of what a diviner and sorcerer are, compiled from different Jewish texts. Now, I am not here to say "and this is proof Judaism and halacha are actually fine with divination!" Nope, in Bamidbar 23:23, it is very clear that Jews are told to get what they need from prophets or G!d themself, and do not need augury. What I am arguing here is that by these specifications, and connecting to my final point of what tarot actually is, tarot may not fall under that category depending on how you use it.

5. I wanted to highlight Sforno's commentary here because the way I read tarot is via prayer. Tarot is a tool, and when I begin a reading, I am not asking the cards, I am asking Hashem to use these cards as a sign and communication.

6. Finally, I quoted Benebell Wen because of her poignant understanding of how tarot is less about "fortune-telling" and more about a creative psycho-spiritual exercise for intuition and is more like a mirror to our subconscious telling us what is true. Fusing this with the ideas above, this is my short rundown of how I see and view Tarot: Tarot is a prayerful, spiritual tool as a way I can interpret and communicate from G!d, and I understand the cards themselves are not going to tell the future. Tarot is a mirror for the subconscious and a way for us to work through things we do not feel we can do on our own, be'ezrat Hashem (with the help of G!d).

Jewish Tarot Spreads

As I don't want to just post photos, I am instead going to include links to the tarot spreads I have found, to their origins so you can know the creator!The Archangel Spread The Divine Threads Spread Wisdom of the Hebrew Priestess Spread Vessel, Offering, Ally Spread Do Not Play It Small Spread Rooting and Releasing Spread

Jewish Tarot and Oracle Decks

Eht/Aht Netivot Oracle Deck

Tu B’shevat Oracle Deck

Moon Angels Oracle Deck

Malakhim Meditative Cards

Raziel Tarot Deck (Out of Print)

Jewish Tarot (Never Printed, Can See All Cards Virtually)

72 Names Deck

Tokens of Light Deck

King Solomon Deck

Revealed by the Letters Deck

Cleansing and Protection

So, of course, this is so dependent on what you think is most important for you, as it is your practice. However, I will share what I do.

When it comes to doing readings, I have a very specific ritual. First, I light incense or a candle depending on what I feel like doing at the time. This is something I am still working on and trying what fits best for me and my cards. I will use incense smoke to cleanse cards or the "knocking" card trick. Then, I say two prayers - I recite the blessing:

"Blessed are you G!d, Ruler of the Universe, who opens the eyes of the blind. The reason is because of the allegory that intuition and divination are connecting to a special type of sight. Then, in the case of the concern with sheydim messing with the reading, I have decided to use the protective angel prayer:

"In the name of the Lord, G!d of Israel:

May the angel Michael be at my right side,

and at my left side, Gabriel,

before me Uriel, behind me Raphael,

and above my head, Shekhinat El, G!d's presence." This is traditionally recited at night, but I felt it was just as appropriate to call on these angels for protection. Plus, Uriel is associated with illumination and is a useful presence to have during these readings. In Jewish gemology, lapis lazuli is good for bringing understanding and grounding intuition, so I use that gemstone as well while I read. Eventually, I'd like to also get an onyx as it is associated with enlightenment and wisdom in Jewish gemology. I also use a tarot cloth with a hamsa and have a protective amulet pendant.

Finally, when I shuffle my cards, I sing a very specific phrase - the "ein od milvado" from Kohelet 1:2, in a tune that puts me into a meditative headspace - and I shuffle with my eyes closed, only stopping when I feel it is right to do so. I also use a kabbalistic meditation technique to allow the divine flow (shefa) from G!d's light flow through the crown of my head.

If you liked this work and information, consider tipping me at: https://ko-fi.com/ezrasaville!

Sources (I will post this in every post of this series): Sefaria Chabad Tarot and the Gates of Light by Mark Horn Torah, Tarot, and Tantra by William Blank The Jewish Dream Book by Vanessa Ochs Magic of the Ordinary by R. Gershon Winkler Tarot Wisdom by Rachel Pollack The Wisdom in the Hebrew Alphabet by R. Michael Munk The Encyclopedia of Jewish Magic, Myth, and Mysticism by R. Geoffrey Dennis https://www.telshemesh.org/ https://hsastrology.weebly.com/hebrew-zodiac-signs.html https://ohr.edu/this_week/ask_the_rabbi/2394 https://www.gatesoflighttarot.com/ http://www.devotaj.com/ http://www.peelapom.com/

414 notes · View notes

h3rmitsunited · 4 years

Text

Continuing Thoughts on Age of Calamity: I am about 19 hours in at this point and oh man are things going down. Just wanted to record some of my thoughts, theories, reactions, etc... before I get to the last four missions of the story because I’m just thinking about this non-stop and want to share.

Spoilers below the read more, so don’t read if you plan on playing the game. It is a lot more fun to experience in the game than reading it, so just you know, don’t read it.

THE NEW BOTW CHAMPIONS ARE HERE, THE OG CHAMPIONS ARE ALIVE!

-After the siege of the castle mission that ends with the king's death at the hands of the guardians off screen and the menu music changing to the awesome dark theme and the prompt on the screen saying that Mipha, Daruk, Revali, and Urbosa are trapped in the Divine Beasts, I legitimately cried a little bit. Like I was mostly tearing up because of the bit with Zelda and her father and Link dragging her away, but with the context of BOTW and the Divine Beasts and the Champions having been killed in battle with the Calamity Blights, I was like holy crap, they killed them, they're trapped because they died, but then I started the next chapter and decided to do Urbosa and Revali's first and then it starts and they're both still alive and then we see that Teba and Riju come through and like I lost my shit. I was like WHAT!? IS!? HAPPENING?! I thought that it was a really cool way to get more characters to play as (because this is a Warriors game so the vast array of characters to play as is a selling point) and a cool way to keep the OG Champions from being dead which is depressing. So I got Urbosa and Revali back and then realized what this meant for the other mission, that Mipha would be saved by giant grown Sidon and it was just as cute and sweet as I thought it was going to be. And then them working together on the Divine Beast and teaming up and you can see how much Sidon missed his sister and looks up to her, despite the fact that he is literally ginormous and she is a tiny little thing. It made me tear up. The other champion relationships don't really hit that hard because none of them actually met each other before, but it was pretty funny the bit with Teba and Revali when Revali is once again being an asshole to Link and Teba is just like.... WTF? This is the Rito champion, he's like kind of a di- and Urbosa is like yes, we know. Moving on. Because like damn, they really turned Revali's dick factor way up in this game. Like seriously, bird, can you like chill?

-Anyways, another thing that got me going literally insane was the bit in Hyrule field with Astor and Sooga and Kohga when Astor was like...pulling soul power or something from the Yiga soldiers and like turned it into Hollow Link and when I saw that I was like losing my mind. I don't know why it got me so hyped up, but it did and I'm very excited to battle it out with this dark Link character.

-I just finished the battle at Akkala citadel, which was a pretty cool fight, and going to go into the next battle, something about thunder, so obviously another Divine Beast lead in with Divine Beast support trying to fight off Guardians and monsters and stuff. From the placement, it appears like it'll be near Hateno, and will be involving Urbosa and Vah Nahboris. I don't really care for the Divine Beast levels. They are frustrating to control and the camera movements are annoying and the targeting system just is frustrating. The level with Vah Rudania fighting off the guardians was so annoying, just trying to target the guardians and move around and then I just kept getting stuck on the walls and stuff and the movements are so slow, and it was just like, I don't really care for this at all, thanks... I much prefer the on the ground, quick fighting. Obviously, Link is the most intuitive and easiest to use, he's the highest level, and he's the main fighting character, so he's my favorite to use. I really want to unlock the Hyrule Warriors armor set, so I'm going to have to do a ton of quests and stuff which is a lot, but it will make me keep playing the game for a while, which is good since the game cost sixty dollars. It's fun to play though, so I feel like it's worth it. -Regarding the timeline pieces, I'm really conflicted about the backstory elements that we're getting, and I realize that the moment the eggo was introduced, it set this timeline off into a completely different direction, but it brings up questions for me about the original timeline. We don't really know exactly when the Hyrule Warriors timeline starts out and how far from the Calamity attack it was in the past. I would assume that it wasn't too far in the past, most like like less than a year, maybe less than six months? It's difficult to tell because we don't get a whole lot of context. We are given the information that in this game, the Calamity attack on the castle happens at the same time as in the original timeline, on Zelda's 17th birthday, maybe a little sooner, since in the OG, she's coming down from Lanayru with Link and in this one, I think she's leaving the castle to go to Lanayru when the attack happens. But when did everything else happen? How long has Link had the Master sword and been the chosen knight? He's been following Zelda in this timeline since eggo was introduced, but he was still "just a knight" at that point, even if he was a really good and talented one. But wouldn't that mean that he activates his power in Korok forest like barely anytime before the Calamity attack? I mean I guess in the OG timeline, we can kind of get hints that Link hasn't been chosen for a super long time, since Zelda questions him about how confident he is with the Master Sword and can he hear the voice, and is a bit more antagonistic with him, so he probably hadn't been doing that for a super long time either, but it does feel like he's had it longer in the OG timeline memories compared to here when he gets the Master sword and then like two missions later Ganon is popping up at the castle. I mean, it wouldn't make sense really to drag things out a super long time, so I understand that having a bunch of extra cut scenes and missions that aren't super plot relevant would be kind of weird, especially with this Astor dude's involvement, he would want to push things along. But the Ganon attack still happens the same time as the OG timeline, so all of these things happen within the same amount of time. I don't remember in the OG timeline if we ever got any details about how Link awakened his power. I do like how they did it in this version, how it was like a parallel to how Zelda awakened her power protecting Link, which gave me all the Zelink feels, but I just want canon backstory for the OG timeline, you know? We know that this timeline isn't canon for the OG timeline because of eggo being involved, so we can only really pull character elements from this timeline rather than specific plot elements. I also wondered about Impa since she is there kind of escorting Zelda in most of the missions, but was only in BOTW as an old lady, which is fine because they likely hadn't have developed that into the story at that point, but I also think maybe since Link in AOC hasn't become the chosen knight until later, he wasn't seen as capable or trustworthy enough to be her sole escort knight and wanted to keep Impa around for additional protection or something. I don't know, doesn't make a whole lot of sense, but whatever. I'm also trying to remember... when did the Champions get their champion clothes? Does Link have the blue tunic on in all the memories? I'm pretty sure that one of the first memories is that depressing one where Zelda is like knighting Link or something in the gazebo thing in front of the castle, but I can't remember the order... It's just all so confusing and I'm sure I'm deeply overthinking everything and that they're kind of just like retconning elements, but like what does it all mean? I mean maybe... maybe... since Zelda remembers the eggo in her like baby dream memory in that one cut scene, maybe that means eggo was also sent way back in time to the beginning of her life, so this timeline is deeply changed from the beginning of her life, so while the initial difference weren't super evident, just some small things, once they got to later in the timeline and all the Master sword/Champion stuff, it really just like threw everything in the air. I don't know why it bothers me so much, I think it's just me Zelink heart wanting Link and Zelda to have more time together when it's not just crazy monster fighting sad Zelda all the time like in the AOC cutscenes. In BOTW, we get these soft little memories of Zelda and Link researching in the field and riding horses and stuff and like yes the ever present concern about Zelda's power and Ganon is there in the memories still, but it feels more intimate and slow and down to earth. I think it's also because in several of the memories, it's just them two, and in AOC, there hasn't really been any memories with just the two of them together, so it has a different feel to it. I liked in BOTW, the stories in Zelda's diary about talking to Link about his destiny and why he doesn't talk and how he feels the weight of this title and it keeps him silent and it gave Link this interesting depth and emotion that you couldn't really see without that, and then in the AOC, there are some little moments where you see Link having a scrap of emotion, tiny smiles he gives to Zelda, serious face, confused, happy to eat stuff, but most of his moments are the little grunts and blank stares that he gives. Like seriously? Zelda's father just died, she feels like it's all her fault and Link's response is a tiny smile and a "huh". Like yes, there are dynamics with them, she's a princess, he's a knight, he's protective of her and doesn't push her boundaries or whatever, but like just hug please. I loved that memory in the forest in BOTW where she just collapses into his chest and he holds her and we see this pained expression on his face and it's like yes please give me more not lobotomized Link. Like I know this sounds like complaining, because it is, and like I do understand they want Link to kind of be this blank slate, character insert type of character, but give him something please!

-I'm hoping we get some good content in these last few mission cut scenes. I'm getting down to the last few missions, only four left, and looking at the chapter titles, which is the only spoilers that I have allowed myself, I'm like, okay, what is going to happen next. And like I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that we win and the bad BOTW timeline ending is subverted and Ganon has to go night night, but like who knows, maybe they'll surprise me, but probably not. This is supposed to be a game that you keep playing after you finish the main story, so like killing off a bunch of playable characters and having it end in destruction would be probably not so smart...

-Okay, that's all my current thoughts. I'll be playing more tonight and we'll see if I finish the story tonight, or maybe I'll have to stop myself and take a breather before blasting through the remaining missions. I finished I think three missions(?) last night, and I had a break for dinner, but like I don't work tomorrow, so like, I could probably blast through the last ones, but I'd also still need to do some additional quest stuff in between for level up purposes since I just go through rupees like crazy. Oh my gosh, that reminds me... it is so dang annoying when you get one of those like quest find item marker things that lights up when you have all the items and you're like sweet I'll complete this and as you're pressing the button, out of habit, without super paying attention, you realize it's going to cost like 2,000 rupees or something and it's like... not again! I can't tell you how many times I have done this and it's so annoying. Like warn me if I have to pay rupees, I don't want to use my brain, game! Lol yes, it's my fault, I'm not really mad.

-Okay, the end. For now. TLDR: This game is fun and unexpected, but it is also not BOTW, so don't go into this expecting BOTW mechanics or gameplay. But hey, smashing through tons of enemies is also kind of satisfying too. Also, like the new enemies are wild. Elemental Moblins, Hinoxs, Lynels, Guardians(!), the use of the Elemental weapons is a cool mechanic, and it's cool having some cinematic fight moments, even if it might get repetitive after playing the game for a while, but you also can use a ton of different characters, so there's variety there, I just have yet to leave my boy because he's the easiest to blast through anything and everything, though Impa is pretty cool too, even if most of my moves with her are random button smashes since I don't really have a good grip on how her moves work. At least with Link it's pretty obvious and I've gotten better about actually having some sort of strategy with how he works, the other characters I haven't played enough to have any sort of knowledge on how they work. Also Zelda's moves are not fun to play at all, sorry, but they're just annoying and useless. Also Daruk is bad at fighting Hinoxes. Okay, now, the end.

#hyrule warriors age of calamity #age of calamity #hwaoc #hwaoc spoilers #loz

2 notes · View notes

kaialone · 4 years

Text

Spirit Tracks Translation Comparison: Reclaiming Zelda’s Body

This will be a comparison of the original Japanese version and the US English localized version.

Specifically, this will cover the cutscene before the very final battle, during which Princess Zelda returns to her body.

You can also watch this cutscene for yourself in English and Japanese. If you want, you can check out the EU English version, too.

For the comparison, the usual points apply:

Bolded is the original Japanese text, for the reference.

Bolded and italicized is my translation.

Italicized is the official NOA translation.

A (number) indicates that I have a specific comment to make on that part in the translation notes.

As you read this, please keep in mind that with translations like these, it’s important not to focus on the exact literal wordings, since there is no single “correct answer” when it comes to translations.

Rather than that, consider the actual information that is being conveyed, in which way, and why.

Characters in this part who had their names changed between versions:

Kimaroki = Cole, Mallador = Malladus, Dego = Byrne

Before the Final Battle:

Zelda:

…リンク！リンク！！

...Link! Link!!

...Link!

Link!

Zelda:

目を覚ましてくださいリンク！！

Please open your eyes, Link!!

Please open your eyes, Link!

Zelda:

…大丈夫ですか？リンク…

...Are you alright, Link...?

Are you all right?

Zelda:

リンク！！

Link!!

Oh, no...

Cole:

ああぁ…魔王様のイケニエが…魂の器がぁ…

A-ahh... The sacrifice for His Majesty... The vessel for his soul...

Stop! That vessel belongs to His Majesty!

Cole:

はっ！魔王様！！急いでゼルダの体にお戻りを!

Oh! Your Majesty!! Return to Zelda's body, quickly!

Quickly, Your Majesty!

You must hurry back to Zelda's body!

Zelda:

あぁ…やはりわたしの体はもう…

Ahh... So my body really is already... (1)

Why...why isn't this working?

Byrne:

あきらめるな！

Don't give up!

You cannot give up now!

Byrne:

お前の体には聖なる力が宿っているのだろう？！

You have sacred power dwelling in your body, don't you?!

Your body has the sacred power of the spirits!

Byrne:

意識を集中しろ！自分の体を取り戻すのだ！！

Focus on it! Reclaim your own body!!

Now concentrate on reclaiming it!

Byrne:

お前が体を取り戻したら…

Once you get it back...

After all...

Byrne:

私にたっぷりと言いたいことがある…そうだったな？

You wanted to have some words with me... didn't you?

Didn't you say you wanted to have words with me?

Zelda:

…わたしの体に宿る聖なる力よどうかこの思いに答えて…

...Oh, sacred power dwelling within my body... Please, answer my call... (2)

If there really is a sacred power in my body...

Please let it hear me!

Zelda:

…おばあ様わたしにご加護を！

...Grandmother, please grant me your blessing!

Tetra! Please give me your blessing!

Byrne:

今だ！行け！！

Now! Go!!

Go now! Right now!

Zelda:

あっ…も戻れた？

Ah... A-am I back?

Mmmhh... Am I...back?

Cole:

イェーッ！イエェーッ！！魔王様サイコーッ！！

Yeah! Wooo!! You are the BEST, Your Majesty!!

Brave, Your Majesty! Bravo!

Cole:

さあ魔王様時間がありません

Now, Your Majesty, there is no time to waste.

But time is short, Your Majesty.

Cole:

小僧を始末しゼルダを捕らえもう一度復活を…

Dispose of the boy, and then capture Zelda to resurrect once more...

Please do away with the boy and capture Zelda.

Cole:

こ…こ…こ…

Th- Th- Th-

...Your Majesty?

Cole:

こんなバカなぁーっ！！

This can't be happening!!

Please, no!

Malladus:

…ダメダ…

…ダメダコンナ体デハ…

…コンナ体デハ我ノ魂ハスグニ消エテシマウ…

…オノレ…オノレ…

…IT'S NO USE…

…IT'S NO USE, IN A BODY LIKE THIS…

…IN A BODY LIKE THIS, MY SOUL WILL SOON VANISH…

...DAMN YOU... DAMN YOU...

This vessel…is…rejecting my spirit.

I’m…slipping from it…

I can’t hold on for long…

Malladus:

残サレタ時間デコノ世界全テヲ滅ボシテクレルワ！！

IN THE TIME I HAVE LEFT, I WILL LAY WASTE TO THE ENTIRE WORLD!!

But the world will crumble in the time I have left!

Zelda:

リンク！

Link!

Come on, Link!

Zelda:

この戦いで全てに決着をつけましょう！！

Let us settle it all with this battle!!

Let's settle this, once and for all!

Translation Notes:

Since Zelda doesn’t completely finish her line in Japanese, I tried to keep my wording ambiguous, as it’s technically not certain what her full line would have been.

The section I adapted as “answer my call” is この思いに答えて/kono omoi ni kotaete in Japanese, which would more literally translate to something like “answer my feelings” or “answer my thoughts”. I adapted it the way I did so it would sound more natural in English.

Comparisons & Thoughts:

Since this is the very last cutscene before the definite final battle, there are quite a lot of things I want to talk about here, both small and big.

So let me just go over them in order.

Right at the start of the scene, Zelda ends up repeating Link’s name quite a lot in the Japanese version.

The English version dials that back a little, and I feel this was probably intentional, to make her dialogue in that section feel slightly less repetitive.

If that was the reason, I think this slight change makes sense, especially if you’re only looking at the text.

When Cole sees Zelda attempting to enter her body, and panics as a result, his lines are a bit different between version:

A-ahh… The sacrifice for His Majesty… The vessel for his soul…

Stop! That vessel belongs to His Majesty!

In the Japanese version, the ellipses make Cole sound more concerned compared to the English version, and he goes into slightly more detail.

It’s possible that the English version removed the mention of Zelda’s body being a “sacrifice” to be more child-friendly, but they have actually used this word before, so I’m not sure.

I actually think it’s more likely that these lines were rewritten in English to be shorter, so it would be easier to fit the text here.

When Zelda fails to enter her body, she has this to say:

Ahh… So my body really is already…

Why…why isn’t this working?

In the Japanese version, Zelda is likely alluding to what Anjean told her earlier in the game:

“I’m not sure what would happen to your body then… If things go badly… It might no longer be able to take in your soul…”

So, in Japanese, Zelda seemingly fears that this assumption of Anjean has come true, meaning her body is no longer able to take in her soul.

The underlying implication is that, for all they know, her body could possibly already be dead, but the game never explicitly states this.

In the English version, her line is changed, which is a bit strange, since Anjean did give Zelda the same basic warning earlier in this version, too.

There could be many reasons for this, like wanting to make the line more understandable out of context, or not wanting it to sound like it’s implying Zelda could be dead already.

But regardless of what the reason was, the callback to Anjean’s words is omitted as a result.

There is a slight difference with a huge impact in Byrne’s dialogue when he tries to encourage Zelda.

In the Japanese version, Byrne reminds Zelda that she has “sacred power“ dwelling in her body, as has been mentioned multiple times over the course of the game.

But in the English version, this was adapted as him saying that her body has “the sacred power of the spirits”.

This can only be either a huge error, or an ill-conceived alteration.

Zelda’s body does not have the power of the gods of this land, or spirits in this case. And implying that it does not only doesn’t work with the established story, it also goes against it thematically.

To elaborate, even if one only goes by what has been said in the English version, there isn’t much of a way for Zelda’s body to have obtained the power of the spirits, since they used up their power and left the land before the Hyrulean settlers arrived there.

Yes, the English version does obscure that detail a bit, but in the end it still appears to be factual in this version.

Adding to that, the power in Zelda’s body has essentially been stated to exceed the powers of the spirits of old anyway, since using her as a vessel would supposedly make Malladus so strong that even they would not be able to beat him once more.

More importantly though, one of the game’s major themes is the idea of humans learning to prevail without any divine protection.

To quote Zelda herself, after the battle with Byrne: “We have neither the power of spirits nor demons.”

Because of that, having Byrne just state that Zelda has the power of the spirits, apropos of nothing, just seems really poorly thought out, especially if it wasn’t just an oversight.

And you might recall that this isn’t the first time they did something along these lines, as they also had Anjean say “May the spirits be with you” in an earlier cutscene, even though she said nothing of the sort in Japanese.

At this point in the game, the theme of mortals carrying on without divine guidance is about to reach its conclusion, so it’s especially frustrating that the English version now suddenly starts to undermine it like that.

Continuing from the last point, I want to take this moment to talk about Byrne a bit more.

This is technically his final scene, after all.

We’ve reached the point where Byrne sacrifices himself to help Zelda and Link, which acts as a form of redemption for him, given his earlier actions.

Aside from the point I discussed above, Byrne’s dialogue in this scene was adapted quite faithfully into English, being virtually identical between versions.

And yet, because of changes that happened earlier in the story, I feel that Byrne’s switching sides makes more sense in the Japanese version.

In the Japanese version, Byrne is mainly driven by vanity, to put it simply.

He intends to become a god himself, which means he would effectively be replacing the old god, who has already left this land.

He described his motivation as such: “I am one meant to obtain the power of God, meant to become the same as God.“

It comes across as Byrne seeing higher purpose for himself in this quite literally godforsaken land.

Someone has to take the old god’s place, and that someone is him. It's vain to be sure, but you can see how it’s an idea that could have formed within him as an unexpected result of the ideals he would have cultivated as a Lokomo.

It may appear contradictory, but this is why he chose to oppose his god and ally himself with a demon king,

But during their battle, Link and Zelda have revealed the "true answer" to Byrne's dilemma. The truth is, there actually is no need for a new god. The humans of this land do not need gods anymore.

And in turn, this is why Byrne eventually decides to join forces with them. They have simply proved him wrong, and after having had time to process it, he has come to accept it.

That's the point of what Byrne tells Zelda here, when he protects her from Malladus. He’s essentially reminding her of what she has already taught him. She can't give up now, because the power she needs to win is already inside her.

Humans like her are capable of fighting for themselves now.

In contrast, the English version has Byrne being mainly driven by greed, to put it simply.

His desire for power is not portrayed as him being vain and misguided, but as him wanting said power simply because obtaining it is possible.

This is how he describes his motivation: “Why would I want to serve the spirits…When I can become as powerful as they are?”

And as a result, I personally don’t quite buy as easily that this version of Byrne would decide to help out here. At least, not without a hint of a more self-centered ulterior motive, or the like.

To clarify, I don’t consider the English version of Byrne an actual bad guy anymore at this point, nor do I think he would still mean Link and Zelda any harm, I just don’t fully believe that this Byrne would have given up on this idea of gaining all that power.

In any case, Byrne encouraging Zelda now also has less of a connection to his own character arc in English, both due to the prior alterations, and him stating Zelda has the “power of the spirits” here.

...Unless the English version was using the "power of the spirits” aspect in this scene to try and imply Byrne had regained his piety to the spirits?

But if that was the case, it would still be a different kind of character development compared to the Japanese version.

Now, another factor of Byrne’s redemption that exists in both versions is the fact that Byrne appears to be touched by the mercy and kindness shown to him by Zelda, even if he never directly expresses it.

There is this idea that, by witnessing Zelda’s actions, Byrne can’t help but agree that this is a mature and honorable way to act, deserving of his respect. Especially after how shamefully Cole and Malladus had treated him by comparison.

And since the English version retains this aspect of Byrne’s story, it’s not like his deciding to help Zelda and Link comes completely out of nowhere or anything.

Though I still think the English portrayal of Byrne feels a bit less like the sort of person to be moved by something like this, but we all know that friendship is some powerful stuff.

With Byrne meeting his end here, I can only say that while I think his character development was slightly more logical and cohesive in the original Japanese version, he also wasn’t really handled badly in English.

When it comes to the actual way he talks, they nail him pretty well, and most of the issues I have with how he was localized stem more from the general issue of how the English version has chosen to approach anything divine in this game.

And even with that, I think the core of his original character still manages to shine through in the end.

This next point will be another long one, because we have a significant moment here.

When Zelda focuses on reclaiming her body, the way she calls out to her ancestor was changed between versions:

…Grandmother, please grant me your blessing!

Tetra! Please give me your blessing!

In the Japanese version, Zelda refers to Tetra as おばあ様/obaa-sama during this moment, which I adapted as “Grandmother”.

Just to make sure you’re all aware of it though, remember that Tetra is specifically the great-great-grandmother of this Princess Zelda.

You might notice that おばあ様/obaa-sama is nearly identical to ばあ様/baa-sama, which is the term Anjean uses to refer to Tetra affectionately. The only difference is the added prefix お/o- which makes it sound more respectful or formal.

The similarity here is most likely intentional.

Up until now, Zelda had only ever referred to Tetra as “my ancestor”, and from the way she spoke of her, it seemed clear that Zelda’s connection to Tetra was more of a distant one.

Of course, Zelda knew that Tetra was an important person who founded the kingdom, giving her some big shoes to fill as her descendant. At the same time though, it seems she didn’t know much about Tetra as a person.

But Anjean actually knew Tetra, and so it’s through her that Zelda indirectly gains a more personal connection with Tetra.

When they first meet, Anjean talks about how Zelda reminds her of Tetra, particularly because of her personality, her temperament and tenacity. Learning more about Tetra as a person, rather than an unreachable predecessor, is an important factor of the relationship between Zelda and Anjean.

In part, Zelda’s character arc throughout this game is about her finally freeing herself from being controlled by the likes of Cole. Thus, it’s also about her embracing the wild, unrestrained aspects of herself that she had been forced to suppress.

So, Anjean acts as a positive influence on Zelda, being someone who is not only amused and even impressed by her attitude, but also teaches her that her venerable dignified ancestor was actually just like that, in her own way.

It’s not something to dismiss as her being childish, it’s something she can take pride in.

That aspect culminates in this moment right here, where Zelda calls out to Tetra, but rather than calling her “ancestor”, she calls her the more familiar “Grandmother”, in a manner seemingly alluding to the way Anjean would refer to Tetra.

Moving on to the English version, Zelda instead calls out to Tetra by using her actual name.

Since English version doesn’t have a specific term that Anjean uses to refer to Tetra, they couldn’t do the same thing as the Japanese version did here.

Though aside from that, I’m assuming having Zelda say “Tetra” here was also done to give this moment a more immediately obvious impact, and I wouldn’t say that it failed at that.

But, there are still some problems because of prior changes.

Remember, aside from the cutscene in which Anjean first appears, any mentions of Tetra in the original Japanese version were changed to the more general “ancestors” in English, almost completely removing Tetra’s already subtle presence from the story.

As a result, the English version didn’t have the same buildup to this moment. Tetra’s name feels impactful because she is an important character in the franchise, but we have less of an idea of what she personally means to the characters of the current story.

At most, one could recall how Zelda spoke about her “grandmother” once, much earlier in the English version, and assume that this was Tetra. I do get the feeling that this might be what the English version wanted to imply back then, but it still clashes with the rest of the established story.

So in a way, the emotional connection between Zelda and Tetra in English sort of depends on the audience getting story details mixed up, and that’s a bit unfortunate.

There is also the topic of mentioning Tetra’s name at all.

Tetra’s name is actually never directly stated at any point in the Japanese version, it can only be found hidden in that one easter egg, where you need to tap ばあ様/baa-sama when Anjean says it.

Like I said before, I think one possible way to adapt this into English would be to pick out one specific moment where the name Tetra is actually said. But I personally don’t think this moment here is the best choice for that.

I still feel that the best moment for someone to say “Tetra” out loud in an adaption of this game would be during the cutscene before the battle on top of the Demon Train.

It’s a quiet, almost private moment, which fits the feeling of the name originally being hidden away, just for Anjean and the audience to see.

In this moment right here, Zelda calling out “Grandmother” in Japanese makes sense thematically, we know from the story itself why this is something she would call her now, and what it likely means to her emotionally.

Zelda calling out “Tetra” in English is more of a moment for the audience, a moment for people who are already fans of this character. In this version, there isn’t much of an in-story reason for why Zelda would use this name now, at least not one that is actually conveyed.

And just as a thought, consider how the Japanese version’s take on this moment would have an emotional impact on both old and new fans, while the English version wouldn’t have the same sort of impact on someone who was playing Spirit Tracks as one of their first Zelda games.

To conclude this point of discussion, I don’t think it was bad of the English version to literally use the name “Tetra” here.

I think Zelda calling out Tetra’s name here makes for fine alteration, but it’s slightly weakened by this version of the story lacking the buildup to back it up.

The game as a whole shouldn’t have removed so much of Tetra’s presence, so this moment could have had its full potential.

Still, I’ve seen many people who loved this moment regardless, though I think that’s more of a testament to how beloved of a character Tetra is.

Now it’s Cole’s turn.

They toned down his zany side as usual, but there aren’t many notable changes here aside from his last words:

Th- Th- Th-

This can’t be happening!!

…Your Majesty?

Please, no!

The English version opted to completely rewrite this part.

I’m guessing this was at least in part due to their general approach of making Cole more dignified, for the lack of a better term, but I also feel they might have wanted his last words to be more pitiful.

It is not a very fun way to go, after all.

I don’t think this is a bad change, it makes sense to give a slightly somber note to the moment in which your story’s most prominent antagonist meets his ironic fate.

And it fits with their take on Cole, too.

There is merit to the Japanese version’s take, but it wouldn’t really work in adaptation.

The way Cole just kind of screams “This can’t be happening!!” in Japanese fits with the personality he has in this version, and it happens to be similar to the words Byrne said when he was defeated by Zelda and Link.

That could be a coincidence, but since these characters act as counterparts to each other and were developed as a duo from the start, it could be an intentional parallel.

Also, a little fun fact.

You might have noticed that in Japanese, Cole has a habit of laughing and giggling like “ka ka ka”, “keekeekee”, or “ke ke ke”, and his voice clips reflect these, too.

Well, in this cutscene, as he’s stammering in fear, it actually reads as こ…こ…こ…/ko... ko... ko... in Japanese.

And if you listen closely, you can tell his voice clip at that point in the cutscene is literally him saying that, too.

I don’t know, that’s just a small detail I enjoy.

Lastly, we have the second (and final) moment during which Malladus gets to speak words.

Like I mentioned the previous time, the Japanese version has Malladus only use カタカナ/katakana and 漢字/kanji when he speaks.

I chose to adapt this by having him talk in all caps, which the English version did too during that first instance, but they drop it here for some unknown reason.

Maybe this was an oversight, or maybe they thought it didn’t look good with more words like that?

In any case, I think it would have been nice if they kept it. Malladus doesn’t get a lot of time to speak, so his speech looking unusual like that gives him just a little bit more of an identity.

Aside from that, there were also changes made to the content of what he says here.

In the Japanese version, Malladus notes that a body like Cole’s is no good, and that his soul will soon vanish.

This is something which was foreshadowed in two previous cutscenes.

First, during Anjean’s debut cutscene, she mentions that only Zelda’s body could take in Malladus’ mighty soul.

Second, after Malladus’ resurrection, Anjean also explains that in his current state, being only a soul, Malladus can’t last for much longer without a proper body.

With that in mind, it’s obvious that Cole’s body could not withstand Malladus’ soul, hence it transforming in such an extreme way, and that Malladus is in the process of running out of time.

The way Malladus talks here makes it seem like he tried to possess Cole in the vain hope that it might work somehow, but it didn’t.

In the English version, Malladus instead states that Cole’s body is rejecting his spirit, though it’s unclear if that would be because they’re not compatible, or if maybe Cole is actively resisting this possession somehow.

Either way, Malladus says he is slowly slipping from the body and can’t hold on for much longer.

Because of that, the English version lacks direct callbacks to details that were established earlier, and it also doesn’t seem like Malladus is in danger of dying soon here, just in danger of losing a physical body to use.

I’m guessing the callbacks not being featured in English was an oversight, they probably just didn’t realize this very thing happening had been set up earlier. Especially since they seemingly mistranslated one of those earlier moments.

But for all I know, it could have been an intentional change as well, in which case I can only speculate on the reason.

Perhaps it was to make Malladus seem more intimidating by not having him be on death’s door already. And maybe the implication of Cole still fighting back was intentional, to give him one last hurrah?

We don’t really have a way of knowing for sure, but I’m leaning towards a combination of both - oversights and intentional changes.

Oh, they also don’t have Malladus cursing in anger in the English version, but note that he says オノレ/onore in the Japanese version, which can be adapted as “DAMN YOU” like I did, but isn’t considered a curse unsuitable for children’s media in Japanese.

In fact, the English version of Ocarina of Time adapted it as “CURSE YOU”, when Ganondorf says it during the ending, so I’m not sure why they didn’t go for something similar in English here.

But yes, this is not really them censoring a swear, or at least it shouldn’t be?

It’s just them reducing Malladus’ already preciously short dialogue.

Looking at this cutscene as a whole, this is another one with its ups and downs in the localization.

The character’s dialogue is well-written as usual here, I’d even say it’s probably one of the best ones in that regard, as you’d want for your penultimate cutscene.

And a few flubs aside, the general adaptation of the text is faithful. Outside of Byrne saying “power of the spirits”, none of the changes in this scene really have a huge negative impact on it.

But that’s just looking at the cutscene by itself, and like many times before, there are a lot more problems when you consider it in the context of the story so far.

In the original version, this cutscene features pay-off after pay-off to various things that have been set up over the course of the game’s story.

Several plot threads understandably reach their conclusion at this point, and almost all of them don’t work in English.

Some because their earlier set-up wasn’t translated properly, and some because their conclusion was glossed over here.

Each individual one of these plot threads might seem minor and expendable on their own, but when you lose out on almost all of them collectively, it does hurt the story in some form.

If you just go by the English version, it can feel a bit like things just happen because they have to happen now, since there is not as much of a connection between the game’s separate cutscenes.

Less details mentioned at one point that then return later, less direct continuity between individual events that happen, less things leading from point A to point B as the story goes on.

And I know this is more than likely because the localizers probably had to work with the text out of context, possibly out of order, and even with different people having to handle different parts, too.

So please don’t think that I believe the translators were bad or anything, I know they almost certainly did the best they could under the circumstances.

Again, I think this game’s localization is good, actually.

On that note, this is the end of this part. Feel free to check out the next one!

< Previous Part | Start | Next Part >

#legend of zelda #the legend of zelda #tloz #spirit tracks #legend of zelda spirit tracks #legend of zelda translations #spirit tracks translations #my translations #spirit tracks comparisons

14 notes · View notes

eturni · 4 years

Text

So @drawlight has an advent calendar of prompts for the husbands and I have both no self control and a need for more prompts to be reative so here goes nothing.

I’ve been out all day so this is slightly late but it’s still 1st of December across a good chunk of the world, right?

Day 1 - Mistletoe

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21638803/chapters/51598996

It was one of those wonderful little things that persisted throughout the human psyche and made it through almost every iteration of their celebrations.

Evergreens. In this case, specifically, mistletoe.

Aziraphale very fondly remembered the first time Crowley had sauntered into his living quarters in Rome around the early 4th century and offered up a woven mistletoe wreath. Ostensibly, it had been to go with the other little evergreens up for the solstice.

Aziraphale, naturally, had baulked at the idea at first given the berry’s links to fertility and the like.

“It’s traditional for Saturnalia.” Crowley had argued, gamely.

“And I do not pray to Saturn.”

“No, but you do the ‘looking human’ bit of it.” Crowley rolled his eyes theatrically. Not that it could be seen behind his new sunglasses and at that point in time the demon hadn’t quite got the hang of exaggerating his body language to make up for it.

Then he’d straightened up, stilled, and Aziraphale didn’t need to hear the softness in his voice to understand that this was important to him as he raised the woven wreath of plant again. “Besides, it’s not just all that fertility bollocks. It’s peace, like a ceasefire or- or a parley, right? Means a temporary truce, just over the season, you see? Hang this up, certain demon might know that there was a cease fire. Might know to bring wine instead of wiles when he turned up.” He’d shrugged, attempting for nonchalant but for the slight smirk curling at the edge of his lips and the anxious tension across his shoulders.

Aziraphale had snatched the wreath from Crowley and looked down at it with far more theatrical horror than was frankly warranted “You and I are enemies, Crowley. There is no cease fire where the forces of heaven are concerned.” He had of course run Crowley out of there in short order.

And found his anxious hands wringing their way around the wreath he had never given back.

It had taken him three days to pluck up the courage to place the wreath in his doorway and as Crowley had suggested it did seem to be well received by those he counted among his neighbours at the time.

It also led Crowley back to his temporary home less than a week following. They spent most of the night together, enjoying good wine and better company. Surprisingly enough talking a fair bit about Jesus. Crowley had known more of the boy than he’d dared to let on during… the rather grizzly events of the end of his life. Apparently with them now looking into re-purposing the solstice for a birthday celebration Crowley’s feelings about the matter had been jangled terribly and he’d needed someone to talk to.

That someone, behind a doorway protected by the promise of mistletoe, had been Aziraphale. He found himself with the demon half sprawled across his lap, open and vulnerable as he rambled on with Aziraphale’s fascinated fingers curling and brushing through his hair.

It was of course the worst kind of temptation entirely because Crowley had no clue he was doing anything at all; laying himself out bare in a way that had made Aziraphale’s heart twist and ache for more.

After that, any year that Crowley was in the area he would invariably turn up with some sort of mistletoe and use it to wheedle his way into a truce that needed less and less convincing each time. There were plenty of years that Crowley was decidedly not nearby and during those years Aziraphale often found himself putting up mistletoe regardless.

Just in case, he always thought. He dared not think further than that. To the: in case of what? In case Crowley comes into the area and doubts his welcome. In case having it there somehow calls him nearer if he isn’t too far. All things that Aziraphale couldn’t afford to think; and therefore things that he most assuredly Did Not think.

Aziraphale watched traditions gain and lose popularity and whilst mistletoe certainly did do that it never entirely fell out of favour. The magic of evergreens too ingrained in the human psyche. Naturally none of that anything to do with any divine or demonic intervention.

When Crowley turned up to the bookshop with a sprig of mistletoe the year of the failed Armageddon, Aziraphale had to admit he was a little perplexed.

“I thought… Well, we’re working on it just being our side, isn’t that right my dear?” He asked, no longer enjoying the idea of a temporary ceasefire in the same way he had previously.

The way Crowley’s smile softened with a mixture of delight and surprise made something inside Aziraphale glow up and he had to fight to avoid a small wiggle at the sight. He settled instead for letting the delight wiggle inside of him and thinking what a wonderful gift it was to see softness in Crowley.

“Yeah, guess it is.” Crowley agreed, so gentle as to almost be reverent but for the hint of something in his voice.

When he moved closer Aziraphale fought the urge to take a step back and instead levelled his gaze up at the suddenly playful demon. “Still, all this time, a truce isn’t the only tradition any more. Could take on one of the others, if you like.” Crowley suggested, already reaching to pluck one of the berries from the sprig he held.

Aziraphale didn’t see where it went, focused as he was on the way that Crowley’s eyes flickered down to his lips. On the fact that Crowley was so close that he could see that in his eyes despite the sunglasses. He held his breath as the demon leaned in close.

And left the faintest of soft, warm brushes of lips against his cheek.

When the demon pulled back Aziraphale was still holding his breath waiting for more despite the fact that Crowley’s eyes were wide and worried, tension clear in his shoulders.

As though he already thought he had moved too fast. Ah.

Aziraphale nodded and almost imperceptibly straightened himself up, gathering his courage as he reached out and plucked another of the berries, discarding it away thoughtlessly as he leaned in to press his lips fully against Crowley’s, feeling his heart swell at the way the other leaned in and sunk in and <i>gave in</i> immediately to the kiss.

“Yes.” He agreed when he finally pulled back, completely unable to do anything to reign in the grin on his face. “Though, perhaps, like the truce it needn’t be entirely constrained by the holidays?”

The answering smile he received was something more for Aziraphale to catalogue away into his fondest memories.

#31 days of ineffables #good omens #ineffable husbands #writing prompts #mini fic

13 notes · View notes

sdbjkksdnfkjsbagksbgakeovnsdfbjg · 5 years

Text

Then/Now (Part 2)

[Part 1], [ao3 link]

Part 2 of my Fantasy High fic

Trigger warning for anxiety, panic attaks, and very minor self harm

Part 2- Now

Everything is normal, but then, that's how it usually starts. I'm sat on my bed reading a High Level Divination book. A word I read triggers a small memory, a feeling. Something bad. I don't know what it is, but it hurts.

I start thinking. Usually, nowadays, when I think, it's good. It's about Divination, or ice cream, or my friends. But when I get like this, all of that seems to dissipate and Bad Thoughts swarm my brain, overwhelming me.

My pulse quickens and my vision clouds, and I need to get more air into my lungs. I start to hyperventilate, wringing my hands together and frantically looking around. Are Tracker and Jawbone home? Have I taken my meds today?

My mind is a whirlwind as I try to recall anything useful, but try as I might, I can only see the blank, accusatory faces of those whose deaths I've caused. Doreen, Mr Gibbons, Johnny Spells, Zayn, Coach Daybreak, Penelope, Dayne, Mr Seacaster, and countless others I can't name. I killed them! So many people are dead because of me! I'm a fucking monster!

Light headed, I grab at my hair, trying to pull it out, begging my brain to just shut the fuck up! My glasses slide off my nose, I can't see where they went. Everything is blurry and I don't know if it's because of my shitty eyesight, or something else.

Dizzying pictures and sounds and thoughts flash in my head and I can't breathe and I'm going to faint and I've just got to get away.

I bolt for the door, but my hands are clammy and I can't open it. I cast Mage Hand on the door to pull the handle into my hand, but I can't concentrate. Lightning Bolt, then Burning Hands, then fucking Witch Bolt, but they all just fizzle at my fingertips. My sister's voice echoes in my head: 'A real wizard would be able to do it. You just aren't good enough. Loser.' A sob catches in my throat and, before I can stop myself, I am crying, having slid down the door onto the floor.

My knees are tucked to my chest and I am rocking back and forth, feeling uneasy and shaky and panicked all at once. My breathing is out of hand and I am close to throwing up. Subconsciously I begin to scratch at my arms, desperately trying to claw myself out of my skin.

I'm trapped and alone and afraid, with thunder and lightning striking throughout my head.

A knock on the front door, sounding so far away I think I've imagined it. "Hey, Adaine! Can we come in?" I don't respond. A different voice, "Tracker? Are you home?"

She isn't, or she would've come to check on me. Or maybe she is, and she just doesn't care. Makes sense. No-one cares about me, they never have. Even my own parents hate me. They hate me so much they just left without me! They haven't even tried to contact me since they left! I say I don't care, but who wouldn't care if their parents just abandoned them? No matter how shitty they are. I-

A scuffle. Someone tries to open my bedroom door.

I'm sat against it, blocking the way. What if it's the police, come to take me away again? What if it's Aelwen, having come back to seek revenge? What if the Harvestmen are still at large and they've come for me? I can't think straight, immediately jumping to the worst possible conclusions.

"Adaine, open up!" a voice from the other side commands.

I shake my head vehemently, though they can't see.

"Leave me alone! Go away!"

"Adaine, I can tell you're panicking. I can feel that you're against the door. Can you please let us in? We just want to help."

'Just want to help'. Aelwen said she wanted to help when she told me to steal that stupid book on the first day of school. I broke a ward and started the freeing of Kalvaxus because she said she wanted to help! Biz said he wanted to help by being The Hacker, but he was using the girls in the palimpsests for his sick little games- Riz even told me he said he wanted to put me in one of those things, that creep. We trusted him and look how that turned out!

No. No-one ever wants to help. I can't open the door. They're tricking me. They're going to hurt me.

I push harder against the door, on the verge of passing out from shortness of breath.

A deafening guitar riff, and the door bursts open, shoving me out of my safe spot. I scramble backwards against my chest of drawers, still blind and panicking, readying Web in my outstretched hand. I can't move to escape; I'm paralysed.

"Stay back! St-Stay back or else!"

"Adaine, I'm sorry, we just needed to get the door open. Don't cast anything, it's us! It's Kristen and Fig!" "We just wanted to hang! Are you okay?"

Eyes screwed shut and shaking my head furiously once again, I lower my hand. The ruckus in my head is confusing me and it's not Kristen and Fig's voices I am hearing. But if it really is my friends, I don't want to hurt them. Haven't I caused enough damage in the world?

"I'm going to kneel down next to you, and I'm going to hug you. Is that okay?" She seems genuine, so I slowly nod, keeping Web at the ready just in case.

True to her word, they both pull me into a tight embrace. At first I stiffen, but the way they feel, so soft and warm, and smelling of popcorn and smoke, tells me it really is them and I hug back. Sobs racket through my body as my friends hold me, rubbing circles on my back and whispering calming words into my ear.

After ten minutes of crying on the floor, clinging to them like a Koala bear, I manage to stop crying.

"Deep breaths in through your nose, and out through your mouth," I am instructed, and I comply. It doesn't take long before my head becomes less clouded and my breathing returns to normal, and though I am still violently shaking, I can now see and hear and think almost normally.

"F-Fig, Kristen, I.." my voice, raspy and shaky, breaks the silence of us looking at each other. I don't know what I'm trying to say. Sorry? Thank you? Just.. everything.

Fig looks worried, searching around for evidence of a fight. Kristen is smiling comfortingly at me, a hand on my shoulder. Gently placing my glasses back on my face, she shakes her head softly.

"It's okay, you don't have to talk. I know how draining panic attacks can be! In the Church, I volunteered at a call centre for people with anxiety, so I know how to help! Plus, you're our friend! We get it!" Kristen grins at me, making the whole room light up. Or maybe it's the bright tie dye and her almost-neon hair doing that. "Oh.. Oh." Fig comes to a realisation. "Dude, you don't have to explain anything."

"What does Jawbone do when you have attacks?" she asks, and it takes a moment for me to register the question.

"I, uh.. he makes me do affirmations. Guys, I am so, so sorry! I- I nearly attacked you! And I made you sit here with me and I got your shirts all wet and- I'm really sorry, I didn't mean- I'm so stupid a-and selfish and-! Thank you. Thank you." I splutter out in one breath.

Kristen shakes her head again. "Do you do your affirmations by yourself, or does he make you repeat them after him?"

"I..." My brain is still scrambled. "I.. repeat them. There's a list on my bedside table."

As she moves to get the list and Fig fetches a glass of water, I rearrange myself so that I am cross-legged, and wipe my eyes with my sleeve. I'm so embarassed that my friends saw me like that, I just want to curl up in a ball and die. But I don't. I sit prim and proper, my back straight and my hands on my knees, just like I was taught. Put on the façade that I am okay now, try not to lose any more of my dignity. They probably hate me, now that they've seen how pathetic I am. None of my friends have ever seen my attacks, I make excuses when I feel them coming and get out of there so that they don't find out. They'd think me such a coward if they knew. I'm sure Kristen and Fig do now.

Paper in hand, she sits opposite me, Fig entering a moment later and handing me the liquid. I take a large sip, breathing deeply.

"Okay, repeat after me: 'I am safe'." "I.. am safe." I mumble, looking at the floor.

"'My panic disorder does not define me'." "My panic disorder doesn't define me.."

My cheeks redden as a sense of humiliation takes over. I can't look at them. They must think I'm so stupid for having to do this. Stupid. Idiot. Should've been quieter- they didn't have to get involved.

"'My panic attacks are not my fault'." "My panic attacks are not my fault."

What's the point? Do they really think that repeating these meaningless phrases is going to make me believe them?

"'I am not a coward'." "I... I'm not a coward."

"'I am not pathetic'." "I'm not pathetic."

"'I am not a burden on others for having this disorder'." "I am not a burden on others for having this disorder.."

"'This isn't who I am. I am ill'." "I.. This isn't who I am, I'm ill."

"'I have a mental illness and that's fine'." "...I have a mental illness and that's fine."

I know the mantra by heart, the amount of times Jawbone has made me repeat it to him, but that doesn't mean I think any of it is true. But the look on my friends' faces- they look so proud of me- says that they think it is.

I manage a small smile back at them.

"Are you tired? Do you want to sleep? If not, I can call the rest of the group over to hang out! We can order take out! I'll eat anything but corn! Or... maybe especially corn... do you think if I eat it with bad intentions, it becomes sacrelige instead of prayer? Oh, nevermind. What do you think?" Kristen rambles at a million miles a minute, and it takes me a second to register what she's asking me.

"I, uh... Yeah. Yeah, I guess Jawbone and Tracker are out, so as long we don't make a mess..."

"Awesome! I'll message them right away!" she exclaims, grin wide and eyes bright. As she hurries away, I am left with Fig, who still looks incredibly concerned. I don't look at her.

"Dude... Why didn't you tell us you have anxiety?" her voice is soft and upset- a total contrast to how she usually presents herself. I hate it.

"I, uh..." I don't know how to answer. "Well... Well, I don't know. I- I didn't want to cause a fuss, I suppose. I can deal with it by myself." I don't mean to sound so uppity, to regress into an old persona of pretentiousness to distance myself.

"No, that's... that's not what I mean to say." At this point, Kristen has re-entered the room, and is listening too. "What I mean is... I know, logically and objectively, that if I had just told you about... that, then no harm would come from it. I knew that. You guys are my friends. I'm ill and I can't- can't help it. "But, in my head, I get these paranoid feelings that, if anyone knew, they'd think me lesser. They'd think I'm weak and stupid and pathetic. I was never allowed- I've never been very good at conveying emotion and, um... I suppose I just thought I'd make a fool out of myself." My voice is barely above a whisper and my eyes do not leave the floor the entire time. I can't look at them and see them judging me like I know they are.

"Adaine," Kristen speaks from the doorway. "Nothing you feel is stupid. You're not stupid." "Yeah, you're the most metal person I know, and one of my two dads is a Devil!" Fig chimes in, and I let out a quiet giggle.

"Riz, Gorgug, and Fabian will be here soon, and we don't have to tell them anything. But I promise, they won't think any less of you. And neither do we." "Nuh uh! We could never! Besides, if you were 'stupid', why would I copy off you all the time in tests?" I laugh again, and concede that maybe they're right. They don't seem to be upset with me, or to be looking down on me. I never really thought they would- they are nice people- but I tend to imagine the worst.

We sit in a comfortable quiet for a few minutes, until the rest of our little group show up. I am now entirely poised and okay- all traces of tears are gone from my face, and I have completely composed myself.

"Hey, gang! Do we have any leads? I've been working on my board, but so far-" "The Ball, we have not convened at this sub-standard dwelling place for mysteries. It is none of our concern." "I dunno, Fabian, it's a little concerning... Hey, can I call Zelda over?"

I smile. A genuine, happy smile. I may not be entirely okay, and there may be times where I slip... but I have a brilliant group of friends right there next to me who will support me and love me through it all. My family left me, but so what? I have a new, better family. I found them myself and I love them! And they love me!

"Hey guys, listen. I know I can be pretty tough to read, like, I don't wear my heart on my sleeve and..."

I am happy.

#adaine abernant #fantasy high #dimension 20 #anxiety attacks #oof #friends being supportive #the bad kids #collegehumor #riz gukgak #fabian seacaster #fig faeth #kristen applebees #gorgug thistlespring

19 notes · View notes

valasania-the-pale · 4 years

Text

A Healer’s Dilemma - Chapter Four

Author: Valasania the Pale

Rating: K

Words: 5286~

Pairing: Mipha/Zelda/Link

Notes: Here’s the final chapter! Please enjoy and leave a review :)

Mipha surged out of her bedroll, heart pounding and eyes scanning her surroundings with lightning alacrity.

A darkened campsite, just one tent. Her bedroll and another's laid out under the canopy. No foes, no creatures, no scents and no huntsmen.

And yet…

She was surrounded by shadows, shade, bushes, trunks, a sprawling foliage that might hide a cunning predator. They might lurk beneath the ground or high in the bows.

Anywhere, anywhere could house a threat – it could— would come for her from where she'd least expect it.

Her heart pounded in her breast, safe beneath her armor of scales from all but the most cunningly wrought weapons, yet feeling horribly, terribly exposed all the same. Unconsciously, she reached for her trident, fingers itching.

How could she know, without the acute senses of a beast? Her nose was weak – limited to what was effectively right below it. Her ears were stifled like the world had become shrouded in cloying fog. Even her eyes felt wrong. She saw the world in different shades and textures, fit for aquatic environs but ill-suited for a night under the forest canopy.

Compared to her – His – wolf's senses, it was like being able to see only a few feet in front of her.

And even those had been blind to an upwind approach.

Such a thought did her no favors, and her eyes darted to the shadows.

There was a gleaming broadhead in every shudder of undergrowth, every twisting shadow cast by the flame.

She would later wonder why she hadn't registered Link sitting on a low tree bough when scanning for danger.

"Are you alright?"

Mipha whirled so violently that her head-tail slapped her shoulder and her jewelry rattled.

For—

For a moment, as her head tilted back to look up at him, she saw those icy blue eyes and suddenly her heartbeat was arrested she was held – seized – she could not breathe the arrow dug deeper and—

And she breathed in. And she breathed out.

Link's eyes pierced her, grounding her to this body and this time and this life.

It was a dream, Mipha remembered belatedly.

A dream.

She shivered.

An important dream, but a dream. Just a dream. She was not being hunted, not here and not now. She was not.

She was not sundered from—

She wasn't.

Mipha inhaled, and let it out in a long draft. She tucked her arms in on herself, pressing her chin downwards. Link's concerned eyes were fixed on her, but they – he – had to wait.

It was just a dream.

Just?

Mipha's hands trembled. The arrowshaft drove deeper. She resisted the urge to flood her body with healing magic, just to reassure herself with its cool flush.

Breath in. Out.

Slowly, seconds passed.

Her shoulders sagged, and her pulse slackened.

The understanding she'd been granted – a boon she hadn't asked for – it deserved her consideration. She needed to process it all. She needed time to think.

Her promise weighed heavy in her heart.

"Mipha?"

She looked up again.

Link's eyes were not the icy blue of the wolf. They were like the limitless blue of the sky. A deep, flowing stream. Her Link's blue. Hers.

"It was a dream," she said faintly. The words were heavy in her mouth.

His head tilted to the side, concerned, curious. "Do you want to talk about it?"

She should.

She couldn't.

He would understand.

How could he?

Did it matter?

Mipha would have offered to do the same thing if he'd been the one suffering from a nightmare – had done so, even, when they were young.

He'd never needed to ask her, until now. It had never come up.

Had he ever offered Zelda the same? Surely she had bad dreams…

Why hadn't she?

Deeper…

She…

Her head was spinning. She needed to think.

Mipha shook her head, not helping the almost-nausea churning in her stomach. "No, not now at least. Maybe later," she managed.

"Okay." He still watched her. Less like a hawk, more like a mother cat watches her kittens. He wouldn't intervene unless something made him, but it wasn't for lack of care.

She had a creeping suspicion that he would be watching her for the rest of the night with the same frightful intensity. That…

That made her heart do funny things in her chest.

She sucked in a draft of air and held it. There. She'd admitted it. But…

But what, she accused herself.

It changed nothing. Nothing. She'd known already.

She'd known for a long time that—

No.

Stop…

…She had to move.

Mipha untangled her legs from her bedroll and rose to her feet, adjusting her sash awkwardly. A few of her charms managed to wind themselves up again…

She'd considered leaving them behind – ornamentation was well and good at court, at official functions, and around the Domain, but among friends it really was too ostentatious…

…Really, they were suffocating. That would explain the lack of breath, it had been a long time since she'd last been able to walk without silver and beads and thread jingling around her. She had to envy the other Zora; they could get away with a few metal bands and scales and nobody would make a comment about it.

She should just—

"Mipha?"

She looked at him, fingers wrapped around her choker, and her suddenly leaden hands fell to her sides. "I'm going to go for a walk, I think."

He blinked. "Are you sure you don't want to talk?"

His brow furrowed. He was tense, coiled in a way that told her he was ready to leap down to sit with her, if she'd just say the words.

It was more concern than he'd show almost anyone else.

"I'm sure," she said faintly.

Link continued to stare pointedly at her. Mipha suddenly felt the furthest from sure she'd ever been. He gestured to her charms with a dip of his head.

"If you don't want to wear any of that, you don't have to you know."

Oh, he'd noticed.

Of course he'd noticed, stupid.

It wasn't like removing them was a big deal – Zora didn't have the same concept of nudity as did Hylians or Gerudo. The ornaments only became a regular fixture after he'd left, and she'd had to start attending to her duties as princess more often.

Before then, save for the rosier tint to her scales, she'd been hardly discernable from the other Zora girls. She remembered first seeing Link's face when he saw her with them – the last time she could remember seeing his eyes go wide with shock and—

Those same eyes blinked at her, questioning.

She was staring at him. Oh.

"I…" Mipha floundered for a moment, then surrendered. "I'm going for a walk."

She made it to the edge of the campsite before Link called out, "Mipha—"

Mipha looked at him over her shoulder. He was unreadable again, something in his gaze that wasn't quite animal – not the raptor, not the cat, not the wolf – it was something… something warm, and dark, and liquid, and Mipha was reminded of the look he'd given Zelda before pulling her from the water.

He struggled for a moment. Two. His mouth opened and closed. Five.

"Link?" She wished her voice wasn't so soft, that it didn't sound so hopeful.

He let out a breath of his own – a long sigh that made her wonder if he was having trouble remembering to breathe too.

Talking never used to be so difficult.

"Never mind," he said, and his eyes were on the forest again, in the shadows, far away from her. The abating firelight cast his face in pink and orange, and so she could not tell if his face was flushed with embarrassment for not finding the right words.

When they were younger, she wouldn't need to look to know that. There was a dim sense of sadness in that knowledge. She wouldn't have needed him to tell her what he was thinking, then, either.

She thought to say something more, but her voice was similarly absent.

She floundered for one moment, glanced at the lone tent the next, and the occupant hopefully sleeping within, and her chest twisted again.

Mipha did not run from them, then, but it could be said that she fled.

X_0_X

She wandered for a while.

Alone with her thoughts, Mipha made an idle game of counting the moonbeams playing over the dewy leaves of the forest. The silver face suspended in the dark sky was near-full that night, so there were plenty to see.

It distracted her from her need to search the shadows to calm her heartbeat.

The part of her still shaking off her recent not-death regretted leaving her trident by her bedroll. Another part reasoned that it probably wouldn't help her soothe her anxiety as much as walking unarmed through the woods.

A third part urged her to go back to the campsite and sit with Link.

She ignored that part.

Still, Mipha's heartbeat did slowly subside, and the residual tension did drain away from limbs, so she counted it a victory, and took them time instead to wonder.

Why her?

She remembered, vaguely, the rift between the dreams – the space she'd been suspended in, with the Master Sword before her.

Soft purple light flared from the hilt, while the blade, pointed downwards, emitted a piercing, holy blue glow.

Why would she receive such a vision, and not Zelda or Link? They were the chosen, after all. They were the Hero and the Princess. The bearer and the blood of Hyrule. They, not her, were divinely chosen. Talented. Strong. Steadfast. Infinitely more worthy of divine guidance. They—

Mipha's fingers flexed so powerfully she felt the bones in her hands creak.

They needed help! Not her!

"But I don't hear… or feel anything!" Zelda whispered, speaking to the goddess who would not hear her.

She needed a vision, guidance, anything! The world hung in the balance, their lives, the kingdom, the soul of Hyrule—

Zelda sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, her gown's soaking hem drying by the fire. Surely, she had to be cold. Surely, she hadn't pulled away from them because she was okay after being denied once again. Surely—

"She needed the help, damnit!" The words came from deep within her. Some shadowed corner that eschewed the light – there was too much to hide, too much that would change things in some irrevocable way. "Why me, Hylia?"

Mipha belatedly realized her tirade had culminated in a pained whisper, not a shout. That her voice was choked, her lungs were full of lead, and her eyes were burning.

Why? Why her? Surely, the wisdom of the sword would have been better spent on them instead of a pathetic, heartsick Zora…

Her back met the cool trunk of a towering beech tree, smooth bark slick with a thin film of moisture. She slid down slowly, her knees pulling up to her chest, her arms wrapping around herself again as the question rattled around her brain.

It didn't make sense…

Why?

X_0_X

Zelda found her the next morning, sitting on the edge of the spring with her feet submerged, her hands trailing idly through the cool, clean water.

Mipha did not notice the Hylian princess until she lowered her feet into the water beside her, hiking up her gown to avoid drenching the hemline. Glancing over absently, Mipha watched the goosebumps erupt on her arms silently, pebbling her tanned skin.

Zelda caught her eyes. Mipha looked away. "Hello Zelda."

She tried not to let her fatigue show in her voice.

It was a beautiful morning. Zelda took in a breath of the clean air, smelling autumn on the water and in the aging leaves on the trees. "Mipha," she inclined her head.

She sounded tired. It was possible she'd gotten even less sleep than Mipha had.

More than that, though, she looked shy, as though something heavy weighed on her mind. Tension gathered in her shoulders, like static collects in the air before a thunderstorm

"I just wanted to say…"

Mipha found herself turning to look properly at her, her eyes drawn to Zelda's by some invisible force. Her regard momentarily silenced Zelda, words dying on her lips.

Her eyes were very green.

"I just wanted to say that I'm glad you came with us," Zelda said, the words coming slowly, that she wouldn't find herself stuck again. "Your presence has been a balm. I know Link feels the same."

"It was my pleasure, princess."

The look Zelda shot her made Mipha's lips quirk.

"Zelda, Mipha," she corrected shortly. "There are no formalities between us anymore. Link is bad enough as it is."

"As you say."

Zelda sniffed, but there was humor in it.

It didn't last, though. Zelda's gaze turned inward, and it seemed as though a cloud had passed overhead to veil her features. "I'm sorry there wasn't much for you to do… or much of a reason to celebrate afterwards. I'm sure you have many things that occupy your time."

As if attending the lax functions of Zora court, or Muzu's lessons, for that matter, could be as important as this journey...

"I'm glad I came with you," Mipha said instead.

Zelda blinked. "Why?"

Mipha thought back to the night by the fireside. To the girl she'd seen sitting there with the weight of the world on her shoulders, seemingly alone despite being with two that cared for her. That girl, who was a princess, and would become a queen and vessel to the goddess of all the lands.

That girl who sat beside her, probably as sleep deprived, tired, and anxious as Mipha herself.

But she couldn't say all of that, so…

"Because I think I understand you a bit better than I did before." Mipha said. She nodded a moment later, satisfied. That summed it up nicely.

She looked back to the spring, decidedly not looking up at the goddess statue staring blankly down at them. She could feel the warmth of Zelda's stare on her – that calculating gaze that could burn a hole through a guardian's armor, if left alone long enough.

She missed Zelda's nonplussed expression, however.

"It's nice, you know," Mipha said.

"Pardon?"

"This." Mipha gestured to the spring. "Once you get past the statue, and the pilgrimage, it's a nice spring. Very peaceful, and beautiful. It reminds me of some of the quieter spots around the Domain."

Zelda subtly tensed.

Mipha felt it, and a fey recklessness suddenly overtook her alongside the anger that Zelda's discomfort – her fear of reprisal, of criticism, of judgement – incited. Her legs made a splash as she pulled them from the water. Turning to face Zelda, she tucked them neatly under her, and gently grabbed the princess' hand, pulling it into her lap.

Her heart beat faster within her chest; she had managed to surprise herself as well, but she needed this. She needed to say this. Within the cage of her fingers, she could feel the tension in every little muscle, as well as each minute twitch of bone and sinew, like she'd captured a dove in her hands.

"Mipha—"

Mipha interrupted her before she could begin. "Do you know how my magic works, Zelda?"

Zelda's lips parted, but she hesitated again. Mipha had caught her off guard twice. "I don't… no. No, I don't," she said.

Mipha pressed her advantage, giving the girl's hand a warm squeeze to settle her nerves. It was an effort not to smile and show off the broad row of serrated teeth… what was comforting to a Zora was less so to a Hylian… unless you were Link. She had to field the full array of compassion she possessed in her expression alone.

"Healing magic is… complicated." To severely understate the reality. "Which is why so few have learned it. But there are a few basic principles most people would be able to grasp even without magical skill."

Zelda watched her silently, listening.

She hadn't made a move to take back her hand yet, so Mipha held on to it.

"First," she continued, "is that it takes energy to achieve. You cannot draw on nothing and expect results. Most magic will take from the reserves of the body, much like the body draws on itself to regenerate from injuries naturally. Some will draw energy from the environment, as Sheikah constructs do. I have no talent for that, personally…"

She could see curiosity burning in the princess' eyes, but Mipha squeezed her hand again, willing her to be patient.

"And some magic – the most potent – can draw upon the energies of the spirit, generated by the soul, which can be affected by our emotions."

Mipha paused, which Zelda took as an opportunity to interject. "I learned about this while working on the guardians," she said slowly. "What has it to do with me? Do you think—" She glanced at the goddess statue.

Mipha's lips tightened and she reached up to gently touch Zelda's cheek, turning her face to return her attention back to Mipha.

"I think your magic is quite different from mine," she said. "But might share some characteristics. My magic works best when I think of the people I care about, did you know?"

Zelda blinked. "Your emotional state affects your results?"

Mipha nodded. "Yes. Learning to use the magic is only part of the process. If it were only that easy, there would be many more healers. You have to have the mindset of a healer to use healing magic best. You have to want your patient to heal – sincerely. You have to care about their recovery, and better yet to care about them. It's different from simply sewing them up and letting them leave."

Zelda's brow furrowed. "I'm guessing this isn't only about bedside conduct."

"No." Mipha frowned. "It's… the magic is like a connection. I might not even know who I'm healing while I'm doing it – maybe we've never even met before. But if I think about the people I care about, and put those same emotions to work, then the magic is… more."

"And you think my abilities might be similar?" Doubt creased Zelda's brow.

Mipha nodded. "Potentially. It can't hurt, can it? Maybe it hasn't worked so far because you're only thinking of the prayers."

And, it went without saying, prayers did not draw on the same wellspring of emotion as thoughts of loved ones – especially not in Zelda's case.

The furrow didn't disappear, though Zelda's eyes took on a far-off quality as she mulled over the information. It was like watching the fine mechanisms of a clock move.

She still hadn't taken back her hand. It was warm in Mipha's.

An idea struck her.

She squeezed Zelda's fingers. "Can I show you?"

Her blood pumped quicker at the thought.

"How?" Zelda asked. By her face, she didn't seem opposed, just somewhat wary. "I don't need to be injured, do I?"

"No," Mipha smiled. "You won't get any particular benefit from it, but you don't need to be hurt for it to work. I don't feel like having Link cross with me today."

Zelda's lips twitched. "Understandable. What do I have to do?"

"Just get comfortable." Mipha indicated she sit facing her. "I used to do this with Link when we were children." She smiled. "Half the time he would be fast asleep when I was finished."

"I can't picture that happening now." Zelda returned the expression fully this time, slight dimples showing in her cheeks. "I don't think I've ever seen him fall asleep before me."

She resettled herself before Mipha, sitting primly on her ankles, uncaring of the moisture soaking into her dress. Mipha scooted a little closer, glad suddenly for the scales on her face that hid the faint blush warming her cheeks. The last time the two had been so near each other had been when Mipha and Link had held her between them, and before then, never.

She reached up to press her fingertips to Zelda's temples, grateful she had no sharp claws like some Zora, lest she inadvertently draw blood.

The spring fell silent, or perhaps it was Mipha's perceptions themselves shrinking… Restricting like the contraction of a pupil bathed in light. Only herself and Zelda remained. Amidst the distant sounds of the forest, she listened to her breathing. To Zelda's.

The Hylian's eyes closed at Mipha's touch, her head bowing slightly, and Mipha was reminded of her face by the fireside, shadowed, vulnerable, lonely.

She drew on the emotions and let them cycle within her, distilling themselves, becoming warm, soft, green energy… She grasped the thread with a delicate mental hand and channeled it through her fingertips, conducting through Zelda like she was a copper wire and Mipha the current.

Zelda sucked in a breath.

The girl swam before Mipha's eyes, this time not merely the impressions of her mortal eyes but rather the first sight of the soul as if it was rising above the horizon like the dawn.

Mipha saw Zelda then; truly saw her, and a dark wave rose within the Zora princess, high and wide enough to drown the sunrise. The thread of herself became two, then three, and five, and continued to multiply as Mipha braided them together into a single stream.

The healing magic flooded Zelda, pulsing through her with an inner glow, and then suddenly, after a moment where her entire body tensed up, the Hylian princess melted in Mipha's hands.

Mipha nearly lost control of the magic when Zelda's body went slack and collapsed against her, every muscle going loose as the tension sloughed away. As it was, Mipha was forced to pull away from Zelda's temples, her hands instead coming to rest on Zelda's back.

An errant shiver seemed to pass through Zelda once more, and she sighed.

"This is… nice…" she murmured.

Mipha hummed, her smile firm on her face as she held the magic. She had never heard Zelda's voice like that – dozy, as though she was held upon the hazy edge of sleep and waking.

She reached up with one hand to stroke Zelda's hair. Carding her fingers through the long, golden tresses, awash in the glow of her magic and the emotions that fueled it, with her princess tucked snugly against her, Mipha briefly forgot time.

Only briefly, though. She could have held the spell until the sun set again, but her mind was not so constant, and she knew that Link would be returning soon.

Mipha felt Zelda shift in her arms as she thought of the Hylian knight, though she knew not what the girl felt from her through their connection.

She barely knew what she felt herself…

Zelda's whisper brushed her chest. "You really care about him, don't you?"

The flow faltered, much like her voice.

"You miss him." It wasn't a question, this time. Zelda only seemed to confirm it to herself.

Mipha mentally took hold of the flow and rebound the threads again. It became steady, in contrast to the roiling tide within her. No doubt Zelda could feel the echoes of the storm, though Mipha wasn't ready to cut it off yet.

Her silence seemed to annoy Zelda though, who lifted her head to look at her properly.

Her eyes were dilated and dark. Mipha's breath caught. Zelda frowned faintly as she spoke, her thoughts seemingly hazy and muddled, though Mipha was doubtful that anything in the kingdom would suffice to truly still the girl's mind.

"You think I took him away from you," Zelda said.

"I don't." Mipha frowned, alarmed by the sudden downturn. "You didn't."

"I can feel you." There was something fierce in the girl's expression. "You miss him. He is bound to follow me. I took him away from you…"

"Zelda—"

"Me," Zelda interrupted, pressing on doggedly. Her face fell and her forehead dropped to Mipha's chest, resting where Mipha had no doubt she would hear her hammering heartbeat, the roaring squall in her pulse. "The girl who can't do her one job. The princess who failed her people, the—"

"Zelda," Mipha snapped.

Her ears rang and by the slackening of the pale, delicate skin around Zelda's eyes, Mipha guessed that she finally felt the rising tide of anger-frustration-protectiveness flooding through her hands, the magic forgotten but not yet dispelled.

Mipha grabbed Zelda's chin, not forcefully, but firm enough that she would be unable to look away. Then she waited until her voice was steady, lest she lose it early again.

It was harder than it should have been.

"You." She poked Zelda in the chest. "Are not a failure. You didn't take anyone away from me. It is not your fault Hylia isn't being cooperative. It is not your fault you're struggling without a teacher. It is not your fault that you do not feel ready when you have done everything within your power to become so. And it is not your fault that Ganon is returning," Mipha announced angrily.

"You." She jabbed her in the chest again, and the wisps of magic that clung to Zelda's chest like fireflies made the girl shiver. "Are a fine princess, a steadfast priestess, a worthy ally, and an excellent friend. Stop forgetting it!"

Mipha belatedly realized that, in a parody of the night before, instead of remaining a whisper her voice had risen to a near shout.

Fortunately, she did not have to spend the time to process it, because a moment later Zelda's expression wavered, and then Mipha's arms were thrown back around her because she was sobbing and her warm tears were flowing down her cheeks and oh merciful gods she'd made her friend cry—

Zelda laughed, fey and wracked with a slew of incomprehensible emotions, and Mipha realized that she was still channeling her magic.

She cut it off then with a flush and simply held Zelda against her. Her arms squeezed Mipha tighter around the middle when the warm sea-green magic faded.

Such was the situation that Mipha barely registered when Link returned.

His footsteps should have been obvious, after all, given the hard soles of his boots and the stone entrance to the spring amplifying the sound, but Mipha was tidily distracted by the sobbing girl in her arms.

She noticed, however, when his arms settled around their shoulders and Zelda snapped one arm out to pull him in closer.

Mipha lifted her face from the crown of Zelda's head to look him in the eyes and saw nothing less than alarm in the limitless blue orbs.

She looked away in shame.

He squeezed her, holding her closer without judgement.

In that moment Mipha regretted not speaking with him the night before. Perhaps they could have confronted Zelda together. Perhaps he might have had the words that would buoy the princess' spirit.

She looked back down to the sniffling girl in their arms. The sobbing was abating, her breathing coming in slower and calmer, if not quite composed yet.

…Perhaps what she'd needed was a good cry.

Mipha rested her chin on Zelda's head again with a sigh. Regardless, there was no changing things, and hopefully she would feel better after that day. Mipha tensed momentarily when she felt another chin, this one settling on top of her head, and then let herself relax, leaning into the hollow Link had provided.

She felt drained. First by the nightmare, then by the magic and the tempest of emotions she'd experienced, and now…

The exhaustion of the night before had caught up to her. She thought, for a moment, to fight it, but…

Zelda's breathing had calmed, but much like before when she'd let Mipha keep her hand, she didn't seem keen on moving. Link too, was a solid warmth against them both.

Mipha closed her eyes.

X_0_X

They did not forget the events of their foray as they journeyed back to the castle. It showed in small ways that Mipha might have overlooked were she an outsider.

Still, there was silence around the campfire more often than not.

Still, did the shadows that stole over the faces of her companions reappear.

Still, was the weight of the world upon their shoulders.

But, despite it all, upon their return Mipha sensed a hint of peace among them.

Silence, after all, need not betoken discomfort. When words would not suffice sometimes Mipha would sit beside them and only a simple touch would suffice to communicate.

While the shadows lingered, they were more easily banished, she felt.

And when Zelda looked upon the towering edifice of Hyrule Castle, Mipha thought she could sense her renewed resolve, and a greater hint of the steel that would become her as queen one day.

When they returned, though the disappointment of their failure to awaken Zelda's powers at the spring hovered over their heads like a vulture when they reported to King Rhoam, it did not crush them as it might have.

Instead, they took the moments that they needed, sometimes to hold each other, sometimes to talk, sometimes merely to breathe.

With each passing sunrise, as the apocalypse drew nearer, Mipha felt their problems draw closer, and while they never felt manageable, at least she did not feel alone.

They were enough in that way. They were everything.

#Breath of the Wild #Valasania the Pale #A Healer's Dilemma #Chapter Four #Mipha #Link #Zelda #BoTW #Shrine of Power #my stories #Mipha/Zelda/Link #Mipha/Link/Zelda #Zelda/Link/Mipha #Zelda/Mipha/Link

1 note · View note

minijenn · 5 years

Text

Father and Daughter (Commission)

And at long last the last of these commissions! This is for @rpbattleman, who wanted a Zelda BotW commission about Zelda interacting with her father’s spirit post game. This is a bit angsty, pretty emotional, makes me wanna write more Breath of the Wild stuff so yeah, I liked it! Hope ya’ll do too, enjoy!

***

Out of all the things Zelda expected to see upon making the treacherous voyage into the ruined throne room of her former castle home, this had been about the very last.

It was supposed to have been a simple trip, solely for the purpose of combing through the castle ruins for any sort of important relics or records. Link had already told her that he hadn’t really found anything of note during his first excursion there, but Zelda was insistent, unable to bear the thought of so much important history being lost in such a way. However, talking about it was one thing; actually going there was another altogether. 100 years worth of dread and grief settled in Zelda’s heart as her and Link passed through the crumbling threshold into the musty ruins. Now bereft of Ganon’s malice, the castle was eerily silent and empty, a stark contrast from the bustling hub of Hyrule’s government that Zelda had grown up in. Yet even despite its horrific state, every step the princess took through its decimated halls brought more and more memories of her childhood there. Terrorizing the castle guards with reptiles and insects she had found in the courtyard, following her mother in flowing gowns to grand balls, walking alongside her father as he explained Hyrule’s hallowed history to her. All of these moments rested dead and gone, over 100 years in the past now. And as far as Zelda was concerned, that was exactly how far away they felt to her now.

What wasn’t far away, however, was her father, or rather, his ghostly spirit. For the moment the princess had stepped foot into the leveled throne room that had once been the lair of Calamity Ganon itself, there he was. The king hovered over his throne, or at least what was left of it, his spectral form facing the dull light filtering into the room from the window where elegant stained glass once hung. Even so, as soon as she spotted him, Zelda’s heart ached with far too many emotions to count. Link had mentioned to her that he had encountered her father’s spirit at the start of his quest, and Zelda believed him, knowing that lingering phantoms were a common occurrence in Hyrule. However, seeing her father’s ghost with her own eyes 100 years after his passing was in a league all its own.

So she stiffened, offering a silent nod to Link with the unspoken instruction for to wait outside. He complied, respecting the princess’s request for a private moment with her father, one that was clearly long past due.

Zelda stepped forward, unsure of what to even say to him first, but fortunately the king kickstarted the conversation instead. “Zelda…” Rhoam spoke, his deep voice resonating throughout the lofty chamber despite his incorporeal form. “You cannot fathom the countless years I have longed to see your face again.”

“A-actually,” Zelda said, her voice much less steady than she hoped it would sound. “I think I can.”

The king turned, sadness etched into his usually stern expression. Admittedly, it took Zelda aback, to see so much genuine emotion in the place of where a mask of solid stoicism usually rested instead. “It brings my departed heart peace to see you finally free from the malice you so admirably subdued. Words cannot my pride towards the sealing power that you at long last managed to successfully unlock.”

A flash of sudden anger rushed through Zelda as she heard this. His pride towards her power, not towards her. She should have expected it, but even so, the sentiment still stung all the same. “All these years, and you still haven’t changed…” she said, her voice quiet, though the edge in it was undeniable. “All my life, you told me that ceaseless prayer and dedication to my duties would awaken the sacred power within me. But you were wrong. My power came not from divinity but from within, from the desire to protect what matters most, from… from the love I found that is far more than any you once offered me!”

Rhoam was silent for a moment, but when he did speak, the rare shame in his tone was clear. “Zelda…” he sighed in what seemed like defeat. “You have every right to be angry with me. In truth, I’ve spent the last hundred years being overwhelmingly disappointed in myself.”

“I find that hard to believe,” Zelda shook her head with an incredulous laugh. After all, her father was nothing if not the prideful monarch of Hyrule all of his subjects had once known him to be in both public and private, a fact that the princess knew all too well.

“There was no excuse for my foolish stubbornness,” Rhoam continued. “I knew your heart lied with your research, and yet I coldly forbade it, not knowing that the untold truths your brilliant mind could have uncovered about the Guardians and the Divine Beasts might have held the potential to save us all from the grim fate we indeed met. In that way… perhaps it was my own failures to both you and this kingdom that doomed Hyrule most of all.”

By now, Zelda’s hands were clenched into such tight fists that she was shaking. Perhaps it was the fact that her father was nothing more than a spirit now or something else entirely, but the scars and shame of the past had finally pushed her over the edge. Urging her to say what she had wanted to say for well over 100 years now. “And you’re only just realizing that fact now?” she asked, perhaps a bit too harshly. “Now that this kingdom has all but crumbled around you? Now that our former champions, my dearest friends, perished in a war that Hyrule was sorely unprepared for all because of your silly insistence on withered, ancient tradition?! You once told me that I was set to inherit a throne of nothing, but take a look around you, Father! I am not the one sitting upon a throne that no longer exists; you are.”

For what seemed like ages, the princess’s final proclamation hung hard and heavy on in the still, musty air. Truth be told, Zelda had no idea how her father was going to react, but if she did know one thing, it was that everything she had just told him was the absolute truth. Which was why, regardless of how bitterly she had delivered it, she had no intentions of taking any of it back whatsoever.

But out of all of the ways Zelda had expected her father to react, the last thing she thought he’d do was laugh. It was a sad sort of chuckle, but a chuckle all the same, something that the princess had rarely heard out of her father since before her mother’s death so long ago now. “Yes…” Rhoam said with a small, rueful smile. “I suppose I am…” At that, the ghostly king glided forward, away from his former throne and towards his daughter instead. “Over these past 100 years I’ve spent restlessly wandering this land I have thought of nothing else but what I would say to you if we ever met again. But now that you’re truly here, there is but only one thing I feel there is left to say… It is this… Zelda… I… I am sorry.”

Zelda took in a sharp breath, everything freezing around her even more than it already was as those words and their weight sunk in. “Y-you… what?” she asked, her face warm as she felt the tears already building behind her eyes draw ever closer to the surface.

“I’m sorry,” Rhoam repeated, sad yet sincere. “For everything I have ever put you through. I always believed that I was acting in the best interest of the kingdom and its people in line with my duty as their king… but all the while, I was failing you as a father. And out of anything else, that is the single greatest regret of my ended life that I could ever carry.”

For the first 17 years of her life, all Zelda had ever, ever wanted was her father’s approval and pride. It was something any child would seek from a parent, really, but it meant so much more to her. Her father was the king, after all, his adulation wasn’t merely given, it was earned. And when she was a bit younger and a bit more foolish, she had thought that the only way to earn that adulation was to do as he expected of her and tap into the sealing power supposedly sleeping deep within her soul. And yet, for whatever mission, for years and years that had been an impossible mission, no matter how hard she tried. Which meant that no matter how she tried, she had never been able to earn the pride and affection she craved so much from one of the people she respected most. Pride and affection she thought she had lost forever on the dark, dark day he died.

But now…

Now, here he was, a wandering, listless spirt, standing before her and finally, finally freely giving her everything she thoughts she ever wanted. And in light of at long last receiving it, Zelda wasn’t entirely sure how to react. But above all else, she wanted to make sure that she wasn’t just dreaming after all. “I… I’ve finally earned it, haven’t I?” she asked, choking on a small sob. “I-is it really true? Have I finally made you proud? Have I at last brought honor to our family? H-have I…”

The princess trailed off as the king reached a hand to position it against the side of her face. It was intangible, of course, but for the briefest of moments, Zelda almost thought she could feel its calloused warmth against her skin. “My dear Zelda…” he said, his smile conveying the upmost love and comfort. “My greatest pride and honor is having you for a daughter.”

Zelda was unable to keep her floodgates closed any longer upon hearing this. She wanted, so desperately, to embrace her father, to fold into his strong, steadying arms just as she used to when she was little. But as he was now, she knew she couldn’t. So instead, she hugged herself, weeping softly out of joy of what she finally had and grief over how late it all was. But even so, better late than never at all.

“F-Father…” she whispered tearfully. “I… I love y-”

Zelda stopped short as she glanced up, only to notice that her father’s spirit had disappeared into thin air. She swallowed another sob, briefly wondering if he had ever really been there at all, until he called out his final message from whatever unknown beyond he was finally departing to. “Zelda, my dear little princess…” he said, calling her by a childhood nickname she hadn’t heard in countless years, but still deeply treasured all the same. “I have no doubt that you will succeed this kingdom where I have failed it… and Zelda, never, ever forget… how much your poor, foolish father loves you, even from beyond the grave… farewell…”

“Farewell… Father…” Zelda said, her voice barely audible as she looked to the light the king had vanished into. For a moment, she simply stood there, alone and surrounded by the ruined remnants of the past, a past that she knew she was no longer a part of, but still clung onto all the same. She felt as though she was lost adrift in a sea of countless overwhelming emotions, both good and bad. Until, that is, a pair steadying arms wrapped around her from behind. For the briefest of moments, she almost thought it was her father, somehow returned from the afterlife to an actually corporeal form. But as she looked back, she found not the king, but her knight instead.

Link looked to her intently, saying nothing but asking so much all the same. Zelda allowed herself one final small sob, accepting his comforting embrace before nodding her resolve. After all, the time for living in the past was over after all; and the future, whatever it might hold, lay straight ahead.

#jen writes #legend of zelda #breath of the wild #commissions #writing comms

10 notes · View notes

customhawke · 5 years

Note

I love your questionnaires... would you consider making a version for companion OCs? I have a few and fleshing them out is. hm. hard

Thank you very much! I’m glad you enjoyed my questionnaires. Unfortunately, I wrote them when I was deep into DA hyperfocus, and I don’t know when/if I’ll ever be that interested again to write new ones or finish the ones I started and abandoned

However, there is already a DA companion meme out there! I believe this is the source for it, so you can use that to help flesh out your ocs! There are little links that lead to other parts of the inquisitor companion meme in the original post as well.

I have a slightly more detailed version in my notes that I used for my inquisitor and warden (which I never finished and posted lol) so I’m adding that under the cut if the extra questions are any helpful. I’m keeping my answers in because some of the questions are little vague, so hopefully the answers help with how I intended them to be answered. Feel free to delete them to use for yourself, or use the shorter original one in the link!

Inquisitor’s Name: Phaedre Lavellan

Alternate Name?: Phaedre Athevera

Race, Class, & Specialization: Elven mage, specialized Rift Mage

Varric’s Nickname for them: Dewdrop

Default Tarot Card: Reverse Judgment (Self-doubt, refusal of self-examination)

How they are recruited:

After being snubbed by the templars at Val Royeaux, a cutscene with Josephine is available where she can speak of gaining more allies, specifically with non-human species (since the Chantry/humans are pretty much non-communicative). She’ll mention that a Dalish clan near the Emerald Graves has offered to meet with Inquisition forces and discuss possible benefits of an alliance. If the Inquisitor is Dalish, they will have the option of learning they are the Athevera clan, one of the largest Dalish clans in Fereldan/Orlais, and one of relative renown—their Keeper tends to lead the Arlathvhen,and mainly decides where the next one will be held.

Show interest in this option and the war table operation to unlock a special area will appear. It will take 2 power to complete with Connections. Fast travel there, and you will be immediately ambushed by local human soldiers—while the Dalish waited for the meeting, it seems the humans decided to drive them off, killing some in the process. Phaedre is the only one still alive, and the Inquisitor helps kill/drive off the human forces.

Afterwards, a cutscene will ensue with Phaedre introducing herself. She was part of the welcome group that was to escort the Inquisitor to the clan’s location to discuss alliance terms, but now that the humans have acted up it is very likely the clan has packed up and moved. Phaedre thanks the Inquisitor for helping her and with varying levels of enthusiasm will offer her services to the Inquisition, both as a mage and as a connection to the largest Dalish clan in Orlais (she will wholeheartedly help if the Inquisitor is Dalish, be neutral if the Inquisitor is dwarven, and be reluctant if the Inquisitor is human/Qunari, though this may be nullified if the Inquisitor is a mage—this enthusiasm level will determine her starting approval rate). If the Inquisitor agrees, Phaedre will join as a companion.

Where they are in Haven:

In Josephine’s office, next to Minaeve. If the Inquisitor waits, idle banter will sometimes appear where Phaedre speaks to Minaeve, either asking her about Minaeve’s research or arguing with her about the Dalish.

Where they are in Skyhold:

In the secret library beneath the war room, near the kitchens.

Things they Generally Approve of:

Asking for her input on anything will generally yield approval, as well as asking about Dalish history and/or magic. Showing support for mage freedom will garner great approval, as well as choices that help the helpless, even if (or especially if) it means the Inquisitor must give up something (ie charity, or taking on quests that do not have to be done). Being lenient in judgments and showing interest in learning new things/history will also gain her approval (ie, accepting quests that involve magic/rune gathering, reading certain codexes, etc.).

Things they Generally Disapprove of:

Supporting Templars/the Circle in any way, expressing hatred/fear of magic or mages, being harsh in judgment or refusing to help civilians/be rude to them (she will disapprove if you walk away from conversations with civilians, so watch out for that), asking for her opinion on the matter and then ignoring her advice, expressing disinterest in her stories and history, expressing distaste of elven culture.

***Depending on race, Phaedre will automatically be at a certain approval level (similar to how Dorian’s approval is automatically changed depending on if you sided with mages or Templars). She automatically Greatly Approves if you are an elf, Approves if you are a Dwarf, Slightly Disapproves if you are Qunari, and Greatly Disapproves if you are a human. She will also Approve if you are a mage (so add that on to whatever approval and disapproval already gained). It’s pretty easy to build a good relationship with her as long as you’re pro-mage, though, so it’s not too much of a detriment.

Mages, Templars, Other?:

Super pro-mage. She’s very sympathetic to the cause, and believes that while there definitely needs to be a checks and balance system it’s basically a system of oppression and abuse under Templars/Chantry. She actively fears Templars and will avoid them in the beginning, which she can reveal through conversation to be because she once witnessed a Templar group brutalize their mage charges as a child. She believes magic is a gift, not a curse, and the way the Chantry teaches mages to view their magic and themselves is despicable.

Friends in the Inquisition:

Solas: Phaedre takes on a bit of a mentor-mentee relationship with Solas, and their banter generally consists of her peppering him with questions about the Fade and of his journeys there. Later on, she will express interest in learning how to walk in the Fade as he does, so she can learn more about her lost history. However, several banters will appear where Solas derides the Dalish, and depending on whether or not her personal quest was completed, Phaedre will either uncomfortably change the subject or argue with Solas on the point.

Sera: Phaedre and Sera are BEST FRIENDS due to Phaedre’s initial reluctance to make herself seem contrary, and their similar ages. Their banter will consist of references to pranks they’ve pulled, inside jokes, gushing over girls (mainly Cassandra) and general goofing off—if neither Sera nor Phaedre are romanced, it will be referenced that they may have slept together (if the Inquisitor’s friendship level gets beyond a certain point, they can ask about the encounter either at Haven or at Skyhold). However, after IHW/CotJ, banter will appear where Sera derides the Dalish, and (again, depending on status of personal quest) Phaedre will become uncomfortable/angry. This will spread over several banters (Phaedre will inevitably become angry and argue, regardless of personal quest), to the point where other companions will remark upon their “spat.” Eventually Phaedre will apologize and say that even if Sera doesn’t consider herself an elf Phaedre will always see her as a friend, but any romantic entanglement ends.

After this fight (or, alternatively, sometime after either Here Lies the Abyss or Wicked Eyes, whichever is completed first), Sera will start to comment on a hidden crush Phaedre has on a member of the Inquisition. Depending on the Inquisitor’s actions, the identity of the object of Phaedre’s admiration will vary:

if the Inquisitor has flirted with Phaedre and either hard-locked or soft-locked into a romance, the “crush” will be the Inquisitor (which Phaedre will outright confirm to Sera once her personal quest is completed; otherwise, she will be close-lipped about it, saying she doesn’t know if “the interested party” is willing to advertise the flirting—the Inquisitor can make a comment during this banter)

if the Inquisitor has not romanced Phaedre and has not romanced Cullen, it will be Cullen (which Phaedre will be close-lipped and surly about, saying that she’s not sure “the other party is interested” and “even if they are interested, I’m not sure I want them to be interested”). Later, after both her and Cullen’s personal quests are completed, Sera will accuse Phaedre of having kissed Cullen, revealing him as the object of her affection

if the Inquisitor has romanced Cullen, the object of affection will turn out to be Cassandra (which Phaedre will not reveal, saying she knows “the other party is not interested”). Later banter with Sera and Cassandra will have Cassandra letting Phaedre down gently.

Varric: Varric outright compares Phaedre to Merrill (you’re like another Dalish I knew, but with less blood magic), and treats her in a similar manner—calling her “Dewdrop,” he often expresses worry over her battles and constantly invites her to play games of Wicked Grace to “get her out of those dusty tomes.” Unlike Merrill, Phaedre happily accepts the fatherly concern, allowing herself to be drawn out when asked to appease Varric. After her personal quest, she will thank Varric for looking out for her, but asks him to let her take a few steps on her own.

Cassandra: Early banter with Cassandra will reveal a puppy-crush on her, which may or may not blossom into full-blown infatuation. Cassandra will ask about Phaedre’s life as part of the Dalish, which will reveal more about Phaedre’s life not otherwise accessible; Phaedre will also compliment Cassandra’s ability as a warrior and her opinions on change (she very much approves that Cassandra is willing to see the innate corruption within the Templars and her willingness to admit that she’s wrong/change things). If Cassandra is chosen for Divine, Phaedre will offer to help Cassandra; Cassandra will then point out that Phaedre isn’t Andrastian, to which Phaedre will say “you don’t need to believe in the power to believe in good people.” Depending on the Inquisitor’s choices, post-game dialogue may reveal that Cassandra has taken her up on her offer and she will be leaving the Inquisition with Cassandra.

Several banters will also include arguments surrounding the Chantry and its purpose, as well as Templars.

Cole: She and Cole get along great. She constantly tries to decipher what Cole (and sometimes Solas) are saying, and other banter will reveal that she actively tries to help Cole with his “helping” people, which Cole appreciates.

She will, however, get rather uncomfortable when Cole tries to help her, though she’s pretty much used to people trying to help and protect her and therefore her reaction is very mild compared to others’.

Dorian: Phaedre and Dorian both get along well, though initially Phaedre is hostile to the “Vint.” She will often make references to Tevinter habit of slavery, and most of the early banter is her arguing with him about his stance on it (Solas, if in the party, will often have extra dialogue). Later banter will allude to the fact that Dorian was properly convinced about slavery, and the banter becomes much more friendly and lighthearted (if Sera is also in the party, she will contribute, alluding to the idea that Phaedre spends a lot of time with them and Varric).

Companions she doesn’t get along with:

Vivienne: While they don’t necessarily fight, Phaedre clearly acts uncomfortable around Vivienne, and Vivienne treats Phaedre like a child that is to be ignored or derided. After her personal quest, Phaedre will actively stand up to Vivienne and argue for mage rights, and during a particular cutscene they can be found discussing the issue on Vivienne’s balcony, where Vivienne will tell her that even if they never agree, Vivienne will always respect her articulate way of debating the matter.

If Vivienne is made Divine, Phaedre will express disapproval.

Iron Bull: Phaedre’s interactions with Iron Bull reveal she is rather intimidated by him and his bloodlust, and strongly disagrees with the importance of the Qun. Iron Bull, for his part, treats her like a little girl who can occasionally make things explode.

Later on, if Bull saves the Chargers they will become closer, as banter will reveal she has started to spend time with the Chargers and learned a few new tricks from Dalish, spending more time with Iron Bull as a result.

If Bull does not save the chargers and Phaedre’s personal quest is completed, Phaedre will actively tear down Iron Bull for his decision, and calls him despicable.

Blackwall: While she is always respectful of Blackwall, they are distant with each other. Their banter typically involves him giving her advice on how to better fight—she more or less treats him like an elder, but not one she is especially close to, though she does express admiration for his noble goals and purpose, and if asked on her opinion of him she will speak praise BEFORE it is revealed who he is. Blackwall, for his part, admires Phaedre’s dedication and kindhearted nature, and takes on a benevolent-uncle kind of relationship with her.

After he is revealed as Thom Rainier, she will say that she doesn’t know who he is anymore, and she cannot trust him to be a different person than he was before. Later he will say that he will show her he is different by earning back his honor as Rainier, to which Phaedre replies with a neutral “We’ll see about it, then.”

MISSIONS

Small side mission:

After moving to Skyhold and approval is around 35+, Phaedre will comment that there are various tomes missing from the Hidden Library that she cannot find anywhere. She and Solas have together looked (in the Fade) for the various possible locations of the tomes and asks the Inquisitor to keep an eye out for them. If she is present when one is discovered, she Approves; if all are discovered, she Greatly Approves at its completion.

· War Table Missions:

There will be various war-table missions concerning Phaedre’s connections with various Dalish clans. Depending on who is used to complete them (generally anything but Forces), Phaedre will gain approval.

Companion quest:

After HLtA, a cutscene will occur the next time the Inquisitor tries to speak with Phaedre. Josephine will ask after Clan Athevera—though the war table missions involve connecting with various Dalish clans, none of them are her own, and Josephine wonders at their safety. Phaedre will be dodgy and walk away, and Josephine will go to the Inquisitor and express distress. If you ask Phaedre about it, she will say the clan is fine and not to bother them, but it will unlock the war table operation “Find Clan Athevera” regardless. Only Josephine can complete it, and doing so means gaining a letter asking to meet the Inquisitor, with Phaedre, to properly discuss an alliance—the entire letter is worded all shady and shit. When traveling there, Phaedre is a locked companion.

When they arrive, the Keeper of the clan is there to welcome you. She expresses happiness that Phaedre is safe and unharmed, and talks to Phaedre like she is a young child. She will tell the Inquisitor that Phaedre should not have been waiting to meet the Inquisitor with the hunter group, as it is too dangerous for her to leave the safety of the clan—she was never given permission to join the Inquisition, and as such was never working on behalf of the clan. Phaedre will attempt to interject at various points, and will be shot down by the Keeper. She then asks the Inquisitor to let Phaedre return home where she can be “safe and taken care of properly,” away from the dangers of the Inquisition. In return, they will send a new representative to deal with the Inquisition, and the true force of the clan will be utilized in the alliance.

Option 1: Tell Phaedre to return “home.” Phaedre will go back to the Keeper without complaint, and while very quiet seems to part with little ill will. New war table operations will appear, and a Dalish agent will be added for Josephine.

Sera and Solas Greatly Disapprove; Varric and Cassandra Disapprove; Cole Slightly Disapproves/Approves (depending on dialogue choices made); Vivienne Approves

Option 2: The Inquisitor insists Phaedre stay with the Inquisition, saying that Phaedre has been an invaluable asset. The Keeper will get angry and says that Phaedre is still too young and too inexperienced to make it on her own. The Inquisitor can either encourage Phaedre to talk the Keeper down or further the break by egging her on; either way, there is no alliance, and any unfinished War Table operations involving securing Dalish clan alliances will disappear.

Phaedre Approves, Sera Greatly Approves, Varric Approves, Cole Approves

Option 3: The Inquisitor insists that it’s Phaedre’s choice to make, not theirs. Phaedre tells the Keeper that while she loves them all and understands they are trying to protect her, she needs to make her own path now, and her past has begun to choke her. She respectfully asks to leave the clan to join the Inquisition permanently. With great reluctance, the Keeper will agree after seeing how Phaedre has grown, but will refuse to cut Phaedre off from the clan, telling her she is always able to return home if she needs to. New war table missions specifically concerning Clan Athevera appear, and Phaedre remains a companion.

Phaedre Greatly Approves, Sera Greatly Approves, Solas Approves, Varric Approves, Cole Approves

If the Inquisitor picks Options 2 or 3, a following scene back at Skyhold will ensue. Dialogue will slightly vary depending on if the Inquisitor defended Phaedre themselves or if they let Phaedre choose, but the main portion is the same. Phaedre defends the Keeper’s actions, saying that the clan is just looking out for what’s best for her. She tells the Inquisitor about the death of the clan’s old First—her best friend and future Bonded—and how his death essentially destroyed her for a long time, making her unable to really care for herself or make decisions. She states that joining the Inquisition was the first time in years she truly made a decision for herself, and it’s one that made her remember why she needs to stand up for what’s important. She decides it’s time for her to put aside her past and remember what’s truly vital about living. If the Inquisitor has flirted with Phaedre in the past and picks the romance option here (and approval is high enough), Phaedre will say that staying with the Inquisition was the best choice to make because it meant meeting them. A kiss scene will occur and the Inquisitor will be hard-locked into a relationship. Romance dialogue options will now be available.

Romance-specific quest:

After a romance is initiated, the Inquisitor can ask more about the clan’s old First, Ghandriel. They will learn the circumstances surrounding his death—he died protecting Phaedre from rogue mages escaping the Circle—and Phaedre will lament that because of the clan’s need to flee, she never retrieved the body or laid it to rest. This will unlock a war table operation to scout the area where Ghandriel died to find his remains—the mission is unsuccessful, but they do find the place where Ghandriel likely died. The Inquisitor can then take Phaedre to the clearing, where she will confirm it is where she watched Ghandriel fall. The Inquisitor will tell her that she can finally put Ghandriel’s soul to rest here, and they will help her create a small pyre to burn. A cutscene will occur where the Inquisitor witnesses Phaedre sing In Uthenerato small shrine that she built before lighting it on fire. Back at Skyhold, Phaedre will express a wish to have properly burned the remains, but feels that Ghandriel’s spirit may finally be at rest now—at least, she now feels more at peace with it.

Tarot card change

Option 1: (If Phaedre returns to her clan) Phaedre’s tarot card changes to a darkened Reverse Tower.

Option 2: (Friendship card) Changes to the upright Star

Option 3 (Romance): Changes to upright Sun or upright World

ROMANCE

Romanceable?:

Yes, by any gender and any race. However, she will be easier to romance as an elf, a female, and/or a mage, as flirt options will gain more approval if you are a certain gender/race and there are extra dialogue options that will gain approval for certain races/classes.

Sexual/Racial Preference:

Phaedre is bisexual, with a stronger preference for women. She is highly wary of humans and prefers to date within her own species, but is amenable to advances from any race.

Nickname for PC:

“Arla,” meaning home.When asked what that means (or why ‘home’, if Dalish), she will respond that home is wherever her heart is.

Dialogue:

Being asked for a kiss:

“Really? Well, I was just in the middle of this book…I’m just kidding, come here.”

Halamshiral Dialogue:

“Wow, there are so many people! Look at all these masks—have you talked to anyone yet? I’ve been talking to the elves, but they don’t like talking to me for some reason.”

Being asked to dance during the mission:

“Oh, dancing! I don’t actually know how to dance. You might get your toes stepped on, is that all right? Oh, but maybe later, too. There’s another elf over there and he’s giving me a look, I think he wants to talk to me.”

Asking to dance post-mission:“-giggles- Well, remember to watch out for your toes.”

Party Reactions:

Who is concerned about their relationship?

Vivienne expresses disapproval at starting up with a Dalish apostate, even if the Inquisitor is Dalish.

Varric will worry about Phaedre’s feelings, and tells the Inquisitor not to hurt her.

Sera threatens the Inquisitor to keep Phaedre happy or else.

Who supports the relationship?

Solas will offer congratulations to Phaedre about the relationship regardless of the gender/race of the Inquisitor, saying that a strong partnership will only help her, and that he’s noticed she’s been happier.

Blackwall will offer congratulations as well, but depending on whether or not his personal quest is completed, Phaedre will either respond positively or negatively.

Cassandra will make a comment on it, saying she’s happy to see Phaedre happy. Cassandra will allude to the fact that she knew about Phaedre’s infatuation, and is glad to see her with someone who can return her affections.

Sera will be sour about Phaedre not telling her immediately, but will later be enthusiastic, talking to Phaedre about possible pranks to pull on the Inquisitor.

Who had a bet running on it?

Sera and Dorian will have been trying to find out who Phaedre’s “crush” is, and will have willingly or unwillingly dragged various people and companions into the speculation. Regardless of who Phaedre actually holds affection for, Dorian will always choose wrong and Sera will always choose right.

Breaking Up:

If PC Breaks it off:

If NPC breaks it off (and why):

Love Confession:

End game dialogue:

BANTER

Cole’s reflection on their thoughts:

“She waits for the sunlight, strength to stand on her own, a solitary sapling with hearts carved in the bark, still bleeding, still sore.”

“Sick of trying for her, sick of dying for her, she walks away instead of wagering lives.”

(After personal quest is completed) “Home stays in her heart, roots no longer planted in the ground but in the soul. The bark still bleeds, but the pain has faded.”

(If in Romance): “She tires of trembling, but standing beside you gives her the strength protect herself.”

(After romance quest) “The breaks in the bark fade, not gone, but no longer bleeding. The hearts smooth out into scars.”

Comment(s) on Mages:

“Oh…well…yes, I think that mages deserve to be free. It just…it’s right, you know? It’s the right thing.”

“I’ve seen what happens when you trap and keep a wild animal still for too long—they try to hurt themselves, trying to get out. People are no different, and mages have been struggling for centuries to leave their cages.”

“Why is everyone so angry that mages just want to be treated like people and not weapons?”

“All power is dangerous, and all power corrupts. But you don’t see anyone locking away the swordsman because of how well he swings, or the ruler because she bends a country to her will. Teach a mage how to control themselves, not how to be controlled.”

“Stop speaking that Chantry nonsense. Magic is a force of nature like anything else, not something to be put in a box. Does the Chantry also claim that the monsoon rains are meant to serve man? What about thunderstorms, or the snow, or the sun?”

Comment(s) on Templars:

“I mean…I’m sure there are nice ones. There are nice everythings. But…well, I was taught to hide whenever I saw the flaming sword insignia. That’s all.”

“It’s amazing how people will deride mages for being so easily corrupted when the people we expect to protect them from us are already rotten to the core.”

(If CotJ is completed) “Mages are dangerous because they can be taken over by demons—but who was being led by a demon this entire time?”

“’It’s not that simple?’ No, I suppose the consistent brutalization of the fellow being isn’t that simple.”

“It’s funny, but somehow the Dalish managed to deal with magic without Templars for centuries now.”

“Don’t tell me the system is needed. Don’t tell me it’s good. For every good Templar, there’s a bad Templar giving bad orders. The entire Order is designed to terrorize mages.”

When looking for something:

“I’m feeling a thing. Maybe we should look a little closer?”

When finding a campsite:

“Oh good, my feet were just getting tired.”

When the Inquisitor Falls:

(If romanced) “Arla! Stay with me, I’m coming!”

“No, not again—I won’t let it happen this time!”

“Inquisitor!”

When they are low on Health:

“Where are the healing potions again?”

“This is harder than I thought!”

When they see a Dragon:

“Oh, look at that majestic beast—no, no, looking at it this far away is good enough, thank you though.”

When doing their small side quest:

“This is close to where Solas and I think a tome is!”

Default saying: (when you want to talk to them in Skyhold, how do they respond?)

Default: “Hello again.”

Low approval: “Oh…it’s you. Um. Did you need something?”

High approval:“Is there anything I can do for you?”

“Here for another story again, huh?”

Romance:“Arla.”

“Oh, there you are. I was just wondering if I would have to go searching.”

Travel Banter with Canon Companions of your choice:

Varric

Vivienne

Solas

P: “Solas…”S: “Again? Here?”P: “This is really boring. Please?”S: -sighs- “What would you like to hear?”P: “Tell another story about that one faith spirit. The one that was always near those temple-things?”

Cassandra

Sera

Blackwall

Iron Bull

Dorian

Cole

Location Banter:

The Hinterlands:

The Fallow Mire:

The Storm Coast:

Exalted Plains:

Emerald Graves:

Crestwood:

Emprise du Lion:

Fade:

Forbidden Oasis:

Hissing Wastes:

The Western Approach:

Leaving the Inquisition: (what do they say or do if the approval is low enough for them to leave?)

OPINIONS

The Fade

How they react: They’re pretty excited. Actually walking in the Fade can lead to new and interesting information about magic.

Their Tombstone: Abandonment

What the Fears look like: They all tend to look like Ghandriel’s corpse, following her and whispering about protecting her.

What the Nightmare says:

Their reflection about the Fade:

Hawke or Warden: Phaedre is upset that anyone is left behind, but will Disapprove if Hawke is left—she got to know Hawke while they stayed at Skyhold and apparently looks up to them. Beyond that, she likes Hawke because Hawke is Varric’s friend.

As for a Warden, she will show varying levels of distress at their sacrifice; for Alistair, she will be very distraught, especially if Alistair is in a relationship with the Warden (she’s a romantic at heart—even more so if the warden is Mahariel). She will be sympathetic to Stroud, but she won’t show that much distress over Loghain’s departure, as she never really trusts him.

The Wardens

Their feelings: Her clan fought with the Dalish forces against the Blight, and while Phaedre herself was too young to fight she personally knew people who had to go up against Darkspawn (one of whom is revealed to be Ghandriel). As such, she has a healthy fear of Blights and believes Wardens to be necessary; it is one of her points of argument against Solas. The idea that Wardens can’t actually stop Blights once Archdemons are dead makes her very, very scared.

Exile or Allies?: Allies, though she expresses fear about the chance of the Wardens being corrupted again. She will not disapprove heavily if they are exiled, though she will express fear of the organization disappearing.

The Ball

How they feel: Excited!!! There’s so much food!! So many pretty sights!!! A secret library!!! People always like talking to her, though the elves don’t seem very happy here, and that makes a her a bit upset—she will tell the Inquisitor afterwards that she helped them deliver certain messages while hanging about.

Where they linger: Near Cullen in the main ballroom. When asked, she says that she thinks it’s funny that Cullen is so uncomfortable, but ambient dialogue will show her intervening when Cullen gets too overwhelmed with people.

Are they good at the Game?: To the surprise of literally everyone in existence, Phaedre more or less accidentally masters the game. Her nature is so guileless it comes off as dissembling, and everyone more or less takes her polite, passive remarks as hints that she knows what they’re thinking. There is a chance to gain Court Approval during the mission by talking to Phaedre while she’s conversing with a noble—the noble will then make a comment about the Inquisition not being made up “completely of rustics” after all. (+5 Approval. It will only occur after returning to the ballroom after meeting Morrigan. It cannot be accessed after you leave the ballroom.)

What people say about them:

“The elf, the little one. What is that knife-ear playing at? I don’t even know what she’s thinking.”

“Oh she’s so very polite, for a knife-ear. She’s even nice to her own kind—how quaint.”

“I spoke to her for ten minutes and know nothing about her! She never seemed to say anything true—what is her game?”

Gaspard, Briala, or Celene?: For obvious reasons, Phaedre supports Briala and will Greatly Approve if you put her in charge. However, she will show a romantic streak and Approve if you reconcile Celene and Briala. She will Disapprove if Celene or Gaspard rule alone, believing them to be a threat to elves and the country at large. She will have no opinion of them working together, except that she doubts it will last too long.

Temple of Mythal

Rituals or Hole?: RITUALS. She will Greatly Disapprove if you bypass them.

Agree with the Elves’ bargain?: Agree. She will also have extra dialogue about learning Dalish history and culture if she’s brought to meet Abelas. She’s hurt by his dismissal, but will continually insist on helping the Temple elves as they go through.

Morrigan or Inquisitor for the Well?: As she’s a mage, she can be asked to drink from the Well herself. She’ll say she can’t say she’s not tempted, being an elf and all, but says that she isn’t really equipped to handle that kind of power, and will decline.

As she seems to heavily dislike Morrigan and her remarks about elven culture, Phaedre will Greatly Disapprove if she drinks from the well. She will Approve if you drink, though she will warn you that the effects of such knowledge may be detrimental.

Comments on Canon Romance (little remarks on the inquisitor getting lucky)

Cassandra:

Dorian: “Dorian seems much happier now. I wonder why? I’m joking, I know why.”

Sera: -pleasant voice- “Hurt her at all, and after she’s done with you you’ll have to deal with me.”

Iron Bull:“I didn’t realize you were into that. If you need some extra…um, rope or anything, I can find you some that doesn’t chafe.”

Josephine: “I see her smile all the time now—you two are so cute together.”

Cullen: “The Templar? Well, he’s a good one, at least. Or better than most. Stay safe though, okay?”

Blackwall:“Uh. Okay. Well, as long as you’re happy!”

After Rainier:“If you can trust him after…well, it’s not any of my business.”

Solas: “But…isn’t he old? I mean, okay, but I’m just saying. He’s a little old.”

#reply #i don't remember how i tag asks anymore lol #dragon age #companion meme #i have ocs too #(since the example one is phaedre as a companion #hope this helps!

10 notes · View notes

crowkingwrites · 6 years

Text

Forty Days

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Fic Request: Loki x Reader based off the song “out of my league” by fitz and tantrums where the reader is coming back from war and was on a 40 day 40 night journey and Loki is so happy to see the love of his life again you can be creative with it :D

Words: 1688

Ao3 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14764748

The thoughts swirled in his head as he paced the balcony. The day was clear enough to see the sky. It was only just after breakfast. Loki paced back and forth incessantly and without any sort of patience. His hair was loose around him and he had bags under his eyes.

“Loki, please sit and finish this tea,” Frigga pleaded with him. She was concerned over her son’s health as any good mother would be. Loki had caught a sickness before they sent out the royal army. She and Eir had forbid Loki from leaving the palace. He threw a fit and demanded to leave with you towards a troubled realm.

You were the High Lady of Divination. When you were young, you had reached the top of your class with spellbinding, sorcery, and illusions. This caught Odin’s and Loki’s attention. While Odin praised you and put you in a position of power, Loki became smitten with you.

You agreed with Frigga when you saw him. Loki couldn’t hold any food in his stomach. He was too weak to walk around much less fight. After his fit, you settled him down in bed and did something you regretted. You placed your hand over his sweating head and said quiet words of incantation. It sent him straight to sleep. You placed a kiss on his forehead and left with the rest of the royal army.

When Loki finally woke up, it had been a week after everyone had left. He felt hurt after realizing what truly happened. He was angry with you, of course, but he had no energy to take it out. He laid in bed, hoping you would be back soon.

Eir gave him golden milk to help him sleep and cure his cold of sorts, but Loki almost never drank it out of spite. What would be the point of feeling better when the army already left without him? They didn’t need him. You didn’t need him.

He spent nights awake, thinking to himself how foolish he was to let himself fall in love with someone who didn’t care about him at all. The thoughts tortured him. All of those times, he practiced magic with you, danced with you, laughed with you. He felt a sort of betrayal.

Until one evening, he found something unexpected. Your personal journal where Loki’s favorite book of magic should be. At first, he put it back. He would never want to invade your privacy. He trusted you. Dark thoughts started to fill his head as he began to walk away. What if her heart belonged to another? What if you had never loved him at all?

Loki raced back to the bookshelf and took your journal. He opened it to the first page to find your handwriting all over the place. You were never known for your organization, but Loki found notes to yourself, hand drawn doodles of birds, flowers, and diagrams of spells. Your attitude towards magic reminded Loki why he liked you so much in the first place.

Then, you started to write about Loki. You described his long, black hair in detail. How his blue eyes always seemed to find yours. How you truly felt about him. Whenever Loki danced with you, you felt like a true princess that only belonged to him. Magic had been labor and talent to you until he came around. Now, it was something you found so much love in. You wrote how grateful you were to Loki when Odin named you the High Lady of Divination.

Loki kept reading. You wrote about him every week, and then weeks turned into days, and then days turned into hours. You wrote of him whenever you could. You were enamored with him. Loki realized how wrong he was about you.

He laid back in the bed with your journal against his chest. You only put him to sleep for his own good. You never meant to hurt him. He closed his eyes, thinking how stupid his anger was. He had no reason to be angry with you. He felt angry at himself.

How could someone so beautiful, kind, and caring be malicious? How could someone like you be so in love with someone like him? He hit himself in the face with your journal, cursing himself. Your actions had been so kind and he doubted you. He did not deserve you.

Loki thought to write you a letter, but it would never reach you in time. So he waited. For forty days and nights, he waited for you to return back to Asgard, so he may tell you how much he truly cared for you and that he knew how much you truly cared for him.

So he paced back and forth, Loki heard his mother call out to him, but he looked for you. The royal army would be marching back any time now. He heard ticking in his mind as if his internal clock would explode any time now for waiting that much longer.

Loki heard drums in the background. Their low, rhythmic beat announced the royal army’s arrival. Soon, the first rows of the army came into his view. Their golden uniforms shone in the sun, and their steps were equal to each other. After the first few rows, you rode in on your horse, leading your branch of the army.

Upon seeing you, Loki rushed inside the palace to see you first. Damn his father and his formalities. He ran as quickly as he could into corridors and down hallways until he reached the doors of the throne room. This is where you were headed. To greet Odin himself first, but Loki was determined to get to you first.

Several soldiers passed and bowed to him, but Loki did not pay any attention to them. They were specks of dust compared to you. Your horse turned the corner and his eyes landed on you. Loki ran to you.

“Y/N!” he called out. You stopped your horse and smiled at him. Loki’s hands reached your body and he pulled you down from the horse. Your hands found his chest and your feet dangled off the ground as he held you tight.

“Loki,” you said warmly. Your head tucked into his shoulder.

“Y/N,” Loki held you there for what seemed like several moments. He felt warm and back to his normal self until he started coughing. You nearly jumped out of his arms and looked at his face. He still had bags under his eyes, and his face was a mixture of yellow and pale white.

“You’re still sick,” you took his face in your hands. “I thought you would over this by now. It’s been—

“Forty days and forty nights. I know. I counted,” Loki said, nuzzling his face in your hands. “I’ve missed you.” You smiled, but you couldn’t help but see how sick he was.

“How about we go back to your bed, hm?” you suggested.

“I’ve been there. I don’t need to go back there. I want to be with you,” Loki stopped you from going forward. “After you left, I was angry with you. For what you did.”

“Loki, I’m sorry. I really am, but there was no way you—

“I know,” Loki placed his hand over your mouth. “I know what you meant. I had thought that you didn’t care for me. I thought this was a game we were playing and I had lost. I was wrong.”

“Where is this all coming from? Have you truly missed me that much?” you asked him. Loki sighed, cursing himself for invading your privacy. He wanted only you, and he waited for so long to admit this all to you. If he wanted something meaningful, he needed to be honest.

“I found your journal,” Loki paused. “And I read it. Most of it.” Your face went white. You found it hard to swallow. All of your private thoughts went into that journal. Most of them had about Loki.

“So you know everything,” you said slowly.

“I do,” Loki confirmed. He took your hands into his. “We’ve been playing this game for years now it seems. I never really knew your true feelings, and you never really knew mine. Now that I know how you feel, let me show you mine.”

Loki placed his lips against yours for the first time. He was warm as ever, but he was genuine. It felt soft as he held your head in place. You pulled away first, and Loki leaned his forehead against yours. The space between you filled with heat and impatience. You kissed him again, not wanting to wait another second. Your arms wrapped around him and you wanted to stay like this for as long as you could. Both of you heard a throat clearing behind you.

When you pulled away, you watched Loki’s face turned from happy to annoyed. Thor stood before you smiling.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he rose his hands in surrender. “Only passing through.” Thor walked around both of you, still smiling, and passed through the throne room doors.

“I should go,” you said, looking at the doors. “I do have a duty to report to your father.”

“Do you have to?”

“I do,” you kissed Loki’s cheek. He grabbed your wrist before you could go any further.

“After you’re done here,” Loki’s smile turned mischievous. “Meet me in my bedroom, away from any prying eyes. Without your armor.” You blushed. The Prince of Asgard was very eager to truly show you how he felt.

“You feel that strongly for me?”

“Darling,” Loki spoke into your ear. “If this were a dream, I would kill the man who woke me up. Fortunately, this is reality. You have saved me from the darkness. I only wish to be selfish with you.” He kissed your temple and let go of you. You turned and blushed again from Loki’s intimate thoughts. You turned back to look at him one more time, but he was gone. You smiled, knowing that the mischief between you both had just begun.

Taglist: @angelicshinigami @sugarwastaken @carilov09 @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @i-theredqueen @sleepylunarwolf @trashpandabarnes @loki-0fasgard

#loki #Loki Laufeyson #loki odinson #loki fanfic #loki x reader #loki imagine #forty days #fitz and the tantrums

124 notes · View notes

esonikofanfiction · 5 years

Text

K: TALES OF MIDNIGHT: CHAPTER I: SASHIMI || pt. II

Fushimi gained his feet, choking in the cool night air as though he’d since forgotten how to breathe, or even that he needed to, until his breath came flooding back to him.

Across the pebbled surface of the roof, the woman merely stared at him, stone-frozen as a statue.

Fushimi then recalled with startling vividness: the burn he felt a moment prior, caught within her aura's pitch-black wrath, was not a fiery heat at all but biting as a rain of icy fractals cutting through the skin and puncturing the bone; and with its steady passing, still the sting remained inside this woman's gaze, locking him inside.

Pronounced among her features' snowy confines, all was cold and lifeless, save her eyes, which flashed him with a tinkling of jade; and yet for all their listlessness, they seized him in a manner that he could not comprehend, nor did he particularly wish to comprehend it. What, in truth, he wanted was to rid himself entirely of all concerning her: to take what he had come for and be done with her as quickly as he could.

A moment passed and still she did not move; even so, she seemed to rise as would some haunted being, grim and treacherous before him. She reminded him of a black hole, her very essence that of an anomalistic trap no matter how one went about her: always one would find himself enveloped and consumed. It made him cringe to look at her. He wished to look away but somehow found he couldn't.

He sensed resolution in the strange degree of ravenous regard she seemed to give him; and it dawned on him to wonder why she even bothered being there at all. You got what you came for, he reflected. You even had the lead on me. Why stop and fight and then not even kill me when you clearly had the chance?

Scanning every facet of her sly, unflinching countenance, the large yet highly slitted eyes that looked at him, he found her absolutely blank. It was impossible to divine her thoughts, yet at the time, he realized — rather angrily — that it was too late. A slight reverberation in her eye informed him that she'd read his own transparent features fluently. Her visage, once unmoved, contorted in a grin, causing him to flinch and raise his saber in the air. "The Kawaguchi Algorithm," he spoke in cutting tones. "I know you took it before you chucked the laptop." Holding out his hand, he ordered, "Give it to me."

"You mean you're not going to ask me my name?" She said, blinking into feigned, wide-eyed innocence. Her voice was unexpectedly soft.

"Like I care about your name," he answered in somewhat of a lie. He took a step toward her, his sword-point inching closer to her throat.

"Yes, that's right, you're here for this," she said, pulling out a flash drive from her pocket. Tauntingly, she waved it at him, watching with amusement as he gripped his saber tightly in response, his eyes a trailing movement in alignment with the drive. "You know, you nearly had me back there. Another moment and..." she popped her brow excitedly and smiled, slinking out her tongue in a not-so-subtle lick along the edges of her mouth.

Fushimi sneered at her. ”Better to lose it altogether than to let you run off with it."

“Yes, but without it, you wouldn't be here," she pointed out.

"And I'd really like to leave here, so if you'd just give it to me..." he suggested, at which, she sent him three consecutive clicks of her tongue, accompanied by a finger tapping likewise in the air.

"Not before I have a chance to formally introduce myself. I'm Rei Kiyoka." She blinked: a minute gesture of a bow. "Your living night flower," she added. Again, she donned a fabricated air of sincerity, broken altogether with a wink. "Come now, don't tell me you've not wondered all this time chasing me. You've been on my tail for weeks. I could feel you inching closer day by day." Then adopting a higher mimicking voice, she forced her lips into a pucker. "'But why can't I keep up?' you kept asking yourself. 'Always trailing behind, never making it in time.’" She humphed a little snicker. "I wonder: how many proxies did you meet instead of me these past few weeks?"

“Funny, I don’t see one now,” Fushimi answered dryly, and another laugh escaped her lips, causing him to blink.

"I should hope not," she replied, flitting her slim hand into a wave. "A chase, of course, is fun if there's a bit of bait to test you with, but even that was beginning to grow dull. Quite honestly, the blossoming tediousness of it all was enough to make me anxious. I longed to finally have you." She smirked a sinuous grin, making him uncomfortable, and sighed as one enraptured in a daydream. "Alas, appearances and such forbade me from indulging any earlier than the game itself allowed. My only consolation, then, in being forced to wait, was knowing that in every line of bait, in every trail I left, commanding you to follow, I was merely laying out the pieces that would one day lead you here; and now look at us!" She uttered happily, at which, her smile turned devious. "Together at last."

Just then, alarm awakened in Fushimi and he stiffened in his place. Let alone the obvious vulgarity of Rei Kiyoka's overly refined advance (or was she merely teasing him?), Fushimi dawned more thoroughly on the truth between the fluff and the indecency. 'Laying out the pieces?' He repeated in his mind. Hold on. That would mean...she planned this from the beginning? Eyes alert, he looked at her; she looked at him; no one said a word. So while I was chasing her, she was really chasing me? Or worse: she was baiting me? He lost his breath, cringing in a sudden recoil. What kind of twisted — !

"You're with Scepter 4," She said, cutting off his inner monologue. Unlike him, it seemed, who's mind had momentarily lapsed, Kiyoka had since reached the height of comfortability and began to pace around him, followed by the cautious tip of his sword, on which, she set her finger in a sly, hypnotic gesture up and down its flattened edge. "Third-in-command," she went on, "the one who's name sounds like 'sushi." Once again Fushimi cringed, sending off his saber from her reach, a gesture that she did not seem to mind or even bring herself to notice.

Tapping her same finger on her chin, she feigned an epiphany. "Ah yes, I have it! Sashimi!" Pointing to him, "That's you, right?" She raked her head, eyeing him a bit more snakily than was natural. "Yummy. You know I think from now on I'll get hungry every time I see you."

Fushimi's eyes narrowed. "Then I'll be sure to visit often once you're neatly behind bars — granted I don't kill you first."

Kiyoka rose a single brow. "I see. Best keep me wanting all the time, is that it?"

He blinked into a shrug. "Something like that."

“Well then, Sashimi, until that day comes — because let's face it: that day's not today," she bat her eyes and dipped into a sweeping bow, rising with her rapier aimed at him, "I plan to claim my prize and satisfy my hunger right here, right now."

At this, her farcical tone (he assumed) meant only to mock him, Fushimi waved his sword haphazardly, gaping with a snigger at the lewd absurdity of her words. "And I'm just supposed to what: roll over?" Repositioning his saber in alignment with her blade, he darted her a similarly provoking grin. "Not a chance."

Kiyoka turned her rapier with a simultaneous coil of her neck as like a cobra in observance of its prey. "Don't be boring, Sashimi. Have you not learned your lesson?"

"I'm still here aren't I?"

She hummed a mesmerizing taunt. "By my good graces."

"Then finish it."

Kiyoka seemed to ponder this a moment, or else she faked a slight degree of rapt consideration. "Yes, but then all this would be for naught," she whined. "What a waste." Clicking her tongue, "No, I'm afraid I just can't let that happen," she decided, at which, her rhythmic convolution, partnered with another one of her unfathomable expressions that Fushimi could not hope to comprehend, sent her lunging in a sudden dash, her weapon brought against his in a clang that echoed shrilly in the breeze.

Fushimi darted back, sending out his aura. "What the — !" He shot out. Shaking her away, he thought, You weren't going to kill me then but now you are? Make up your mind!

He parried with a spin (less cheerfully done than hers) and found himself where she had stood while she assumed his former stance, facing him again, her rapier posed and darkened aura sumptuously lit.

It came as no surprise (so livid and confusing were his thoughts), Fushimi's look of fury was perceived by his opponent, and in a laugh as eerily as that of a madman wreaking terror for the fun of it, Kiyoka whirled around his saber, rushing him again, shielding every onslaught while frolicking about as though their parry were a dance, their two conflicting auras linked inside a symphony that played on either set of ears: one of chaos and disorder, yet surprisingly, no genuine disorder came between the pair despite the evident chaos Fushimi met from her before. Strangely, by some unknown and unspeakable force indeterminate yet nonetheless apparent, everything had changed.

With every clash that brought their swords together, Kiyoka's face grew more serene. Her slanted eyes reduced themselves to lazy, verdant pools while all her flowing waves, their rich delightful scent, sailed sweetly in the air. In the same way, her aura fountained downward in a smooth and fluid stream, hardly monstrous anymore, nor torn with poisoned fumes, but sailing to the rhythm of her form, and hers to that of his.

Such balance having formed itself, a bit of life emerged — or something thereabouts. Her former coarse frigidity, what once was so apparent, had subsided like a gust of wind that brought a stir, then promptly slid away. It made Fushimi wary, giving him a sickening sensation to have witnessed transformation pass so flawlessly and seemingly so naturally, when truthfully, he understood that nothing could be further from reality. Thus he was annoyed, and desirably so, for it only proved to nourish her delight as she assailed on him again and again, though never out of malice but to toy with him, to test him and to tease him, less with might and force enacted with an aura but with swiftness and agility in combat with a sword — that, and her all-too-ghostly tremor of a laugh that sent a shiver up his spine — until at last, she leapt apart and spun around to face him, the bulk of her aura sinking to a fog about her sides, her weapon lowered halfway through the cloud.

"My, you're fun to play with, Sashimi.”

"And you're just wasting time," he answered. Observing his slim margin of a chance, he flicked his sleeve and whipped himself about, one-by-one propelling red-soaked daggers through the crack in her defense.

Kiyoka made no effort to resume her aura-shield and therefore counter his attack but rather bounded to the side, spinning past one dagger, then another, while a third produced a twang as it collided with her blade and ricocheted away.

Without the force of an aura, she radiated fluent artistry, yet it was not enough. Fushimi stole the shot and bridged the gap between them with an aura-seeped hand bound tightly round her throat. "That's enough!" He ordered. "End this now. I won't ask you again."

Kiyoka made to laugh, though it only brought his fingers in a deeper wringing hold, cutting off her air. She choked and dropped her rapier to the ground, extending both her arms in signal of defeat. “Alright, Sashimi,” she breathed. “You win.”

"Yeah, whatever,” he mumbled, highly agitated. “Now give me the — "

Another zing ignited in a penetrating burst that sent him sprawling back, knocking the wind from his lungs; his saber ripped apart from him and chinked across the pebbles to the side. His sight gave way to flashing scenes of her, the roof, the sky, and all conjoined with equal blots of darkness like a bulb inside a pitch-black room that flickers on and off, disabling the eye from fully resting on the darkness or the light.

The pair of lightning bolts emitted from Rei Kiyoka's palms subsided in an instant and she paused, patiently observing as Fushimi landed with a crash against a metal unit sprouting from the roof.

Stupefied from head to foot and achy all around, Fushimi rolled into a kneel, head spinning, and witnessed Rei Kiyoka, her blurry form, releasing a small glittering object in the air. An instant passed and the flash drive clinked against his boot. He blinked, scowling at the drive, then flashed an angry glance at her. "The Algorithm," he wheezed. "It was never here." Reaching out a wobbly hand, he took it, tightening his grip. "Just an empty drive."

Kiyoka shrugged. "That's not entirely true," she said with aggravating coolness. "I mean, not unless you like kitten videos."

Fushimi glared at her. She merely smirked. "Don't get so worked up, Sashimi. The real algorithm's safe."

"Tch. 'Safe,'" he growled. "Don't make me laugh." Fuming, he tried to rise and fell against his knee, still reeling and suddenly nauseous. "So those tin nobodies?" He coughed, suppressing the urge to gag. "Were they part of your little act too? This 'game' you're insisting on playing?"

Kiyoka hummed in the affirmative. "Call it: 'festering belief.'" Rapier in hand, she turned her back to him and sighed her features to the sky. "Face it, Sash," she said, soothing her closed eyes against the breeze. "If I hadn't done exactly what I did, you wouldn't have come...and I needed you to come. What were a few deterrences if not to spur you on?"

“If, by 'deterrences' you mean 'giving cheap guns to morons.'"

Another hum hit the air. "Quite the morons since they obviously fooled you." She glanced around her shoulder, winking at him. "They helped bring you here, didn’t they?"

Another gust blew past her and she slowly turned to face it, breathing in the air with a long, contented blink as though in desperate need of it. "Besides, I knew their lack of auras would annoy you. You Blues have always been so noble when it comes to keeping ordinary humans nice and safe, even the bad ones."

Fushimi chuckled ruefully and stumbled to his feet. The ground seemed all at once precarious. "Yeah well, normally I wouldn't care," he answered, spotting his saber several feet away, "except I made a promise not to kill anyone — not civilians, anyway."

Kiyoka turned to look at him, for the first time drawn to what he said. "A promise, huh?" Then, as though it never happened, her unnerving smile returned. "I made one similar." slinkily, she took a step toward him and he tensed, shooting his saber an urgent glance. "I made a promise not to kill you," he heard her whisper dangerously close, a sibilating potency resounding in her voice. He flinched his stare back onto her: the black hole, the endless web of entanglement. No, he told himself, peering into cryptic pearl-green eyes. I won't fall for that.

"We're done here," he declared, and in one darting leap, he skid across the gravel, taking up his sword and posing it against her.

Kiyoka neither moved, nor cared enough to pay him any heed. Her sword did not ascend an inch above its resting pose; her aura wallowed gently at her knees. She simply stood, her features calm and placid as a doll's.

"No more games," he said deliberately, narrowing the gap between his sword-point and the edge of her lapel. "I know you're searching for technology that coincides with supernatural energy, and I know you need the Kawaguchi Algorithm to do it; but if that's not why you came, then why exactly are you here? And if not for yourself, then who are you working for?"

Triggered into coyness yet again, Kiyoka peered a knowing eye to him, raising slender fingers in the air while backing off a step. "You mean you don't believe I planned this just for you? After all the trouble I went through explaining it to you? Still, you're unconvinced?"

Fushimi narrowed in. "I said: 'No more games.' Tell me what you know!"

Kiyoka chuckled, inching further back. "Poor Sashimi," she said in babied tones. "I'm afraid we're all out of time."

"Don't!" He ordered, spotting her retreat.

"However," she went on, sliding back a pace, "I hope you don't mind — "

"Stop moving!"

" — I left you a small parting gift: just something to remember me by." She paused, shifting a transient glance to his chest and back.

Fushimi froze and darted his attention down the length of his uniform. Skimming over pockets, he produced a slender object and sighed, suddenly relieved. Not a bomb, he told himself, and peered back up to find Kiyoka standing at the building's edge, balancing on one heeled boot while giggling back at him.

"I said I wouldn't kill you," she laughed. "I wasn't lying about that. What use are you to me if I killed you? For starters, I’d be out a plaything; and besides, he’d not bet very happy with me either." She smiled, perhaps genuinely, for all that he could tell. "I hope you won’t forget that, Sashimi.”

He tightened up again, repulsed; then he comprehended and his lip meandered upward with the onrush of a thought. So you do work for someone, whoever this ‘He’ is.

“Oh, one more thing," she added, and another violent instant, he was reeling back a step, a ripping screech resounding in his ears.

By way of a second parting gift, Rei Kiyoka flicked a bolt of what was then an unmistakably black aura toward the rim of his glasses. Merely a spark sent out to pester him, Fushimi stumbled sideways, blinking over fuzzy pictures flashing in his eyes.

“Will you stop doing that!” He raged, swiveling back to face her general direction. He caught her eye, received a noticeably flirtatious wink, and watched in vain as she ascended from the ledge and leapt into the air. “Stop!” He called out after her. Bounding two unsteady paces to the ledge, he shot his gaze across the open spans below, but she was nowhere to be found.

“Damn it!” He yelled, partially to her and also to himself. He huffed a furious breath and gripped the concrete block, his anger oozing outward until one long breath, partnered with a heavy blink, commanded him to peace.

“Clever, I’ll give you that," he uttered low, “if not totally insane. But not clever enough.” Holding up his arm, he pressed a little button on his wrist device. A holographic screen appeared: a map of Shizume City; inside: a dot, red and blinking, roamed the digital streets.

The tracker he had painfully neared himself enough to sneak inside the hem of Kiyoka’s trench coat wouldn't last, but it would certainly give him some idea as to where she was headed, where her hideout was, and — if he was lucky — where the actual Kawaguchi Algorithm was and this ‘He’ she spoke of: her accomplice, perhaps.

He followed the dot as it drew further from the trade building, away from him. “This isn’t over,” he said. “You should know: we’re just getting started.” With this, his own game afoot, he grinned. Then, as though remembering a dream, he scowled, shifting his attention to the object in his hand. It was a vial of translucent liquid, it's swirling crystal flecks emitting their own sheen, as though the little vial bore a life-force all its own. He stared into it, baffled. He'd never seen anything like it before. Why? He brought himself to wonder. Why give me this?

In a rush, Fushimi traced his mind back over all her lies, her vile affronts, her mystic air: all-in-all, the lifeless life-form that was she, and wondered what her purpose was, why he seemed to matter in whatever twisted way she hinted at, a way too deeply hidden, a way he couldn’t fathom. Is it really that important? He asked himself, and all at once, he scoffed, brushing off the thought, angry, frowning, contemplating, wondering. He sighed long, gripping tightly to the vial as though seeking to distinguish, to cling to, perhaps to understand? No. To stifle some small, terrorizing remnant of her.

By then, the final rays of daylight had diminished, taken on by darkness and the brisk night air that blew against his face. Abstractedly, he glanced out at the place where she had been. “Rei Kiyoka,” he said to the wind, “Who are you?”

(Chapter I: Sashimi, pt. I // Chapter II: Game)

(K:Tales of Midnight is an Eso Niko Fan Fiction series based on the anime/manga series K, written by GoRa and produced by GoHands. All fan fiction works written by Eso Niko are categorized as ‘unofficial fan fiction,’ and are in no way affiliated to GoRa and GoHands.)

3 notes · View notes

moiraineswife · 6 years

Text

Alone With You, Part 1: Cold Comfort

For @widomauk sorry this took 16 years but as u are well aware by now I Suck, and hey! This meant I could add in New Molly Stuff, so u know, swings and roundabouts..I hope you enjoy it though, gray!!!! Thank u for ur prompt and also ur patience.

Title: Cold Comfort

Summary: Prompt: Molly and Caleb: Scared/Ashamed to sleep because of their nightmares. Caleb wakes up intending to relieve Molly of the guard duty for the night, but the tiefling insists on staying awake and the two end up sharing the watch.

Teaser: “Caleb,” Molly said, in that way where he caused his voice to drip with a saccharine sweetness that made Caleb simultaneously fight the mad, battling desires to punch and kiss his stupid, smug mouth.

Link: AO3

The fire had burned down to embers by the time Caleb awoke.

As he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, the image the world chose to present to his slightly blurry vision was the slender outline of Mollymauk silhouetted by the ghost of the flames that had filled their campsite when he had dropped off to sleep.

He was rocking absently where he sat, sitting with his legs crossed, his head slightly bowed, though he glanced up every now and then. His tail was waving idly back and forth over one shoulder in the way it moved when he wanted to try and tease Frumpkin. The firelight gilded the honed edges of his scimitars, placed deliberately at his back within easy reach if he needed them.

There was a strange, ethereal beauty to the tiefling framed by the fire as he was now, and Caleb found himself sitting still and silent for almost a full minute, just watching the hypnotic rhythm of Molly’s tail, before he came to himself with a start.

Pushing himself up he picked his way through the hunched shapes of his friends. Nott was curled into her usual tight ball, her knees almost in her mouth. Beau curled up on her side, completely covered by blankets. Fjord lay on his back, one hand behind his head, while Jester sprawled like a starburst, limbs, and hair, and tail everywhere, taking up far more room than she should have been able to with her size.

Molly glanced over his shoulder as Caleb approached. The last light of their dying fire made his red eyes burn. Caleb knew full-well that most people would have been scared senseless by the sight of those eyes looming at them from the darkness of the night. He knew that many would have seen the demons that Molly’s ancestors had hailed from. But he…He found comfort in them, now.

Molly had overwhelmed him when they had first met, and for some time afterwards. With his red eyes, and lavender skin, deep purple hair, and patterned rainbow silk cloak, the tiefling seemed a deliberate walking assault to the senses. The red of those eyes had burst with fire, and heat, and passion, and lust. Strong, raging, sharp emotions that drew the eyes and demanded attention.

Now he realised that, much like the glowing embers, that red and those eyes could contain a gentle, soothing warmth, which was more a comfort to wake up to on a cold, dark night than he could ever explain.

Molly smiled as Caleb stood over him, but made no move to get up. Frowning slightly, Caleb settled himself down on the soft, cold grass beside him and, keeping his voice low so as to avoid waking the others, he said, softly, “Your watch is up, it’s my turn until dawn, you can go and get some sleep, now.”

“Tempting as that is,” Molly said, rolling his shoulders idly, “I’ll do you a favour and just keep going.” He patted Caleb’s hand where it was braced on the ground beside him and added, “You can go back to bed, get your beauty rest,” he winked.

“That is...Generous of you,” Caleb said, frowning slightly, since it didn’t particularly seem generous at all, but he couldn’t identify what else it could be at the moment, and that seemed like the right thing to say. “But, really, you need to get your sleep. We swap people out for a reason, Molly, no-one can stay alert for an entire night alone.”

“Caleb,” Molly said, in that way where he caused his voice to drip with a saccharine sweetness that made Caleb simultaneously fight the mad, battling desires to punch and kiss his stupid, smug mouth.

“Yes, Molly?” he sighed, when it became apparent as Molly remained with that ridiculous grin on his face, tail lashing playfully back and forth behind him, that he wasn’t going to spit out whatever it was he wanted to say unless Caleb indulged him.

“You fuss too much,” Molly informed him, the tail arcing out like a long, thin lavender snake and tapping him lightly in the small of the back. “Now, off to bed with you,” he said in a brisk, commanding tone, “There’s no reason the two of us should be freezing our tails-“ he raised a finger in Caleb’s direction in a hushing motion, obviously noting him opening his mouth to challenge this, and amended irritably, “metaphorical tails off. Go back to the warm, and have sweet dreams of me.”

He fluttered his eyelashes at Caleb who cleared his throat and pointedly looked away so he couldn’t see him anymore.

“I think there is no reason you should continue freezing your literal tail off when you could go back to bed and let me take the watch as I’m supposed to,” he said, unable to understand the ulterior motive behind Molly wanting to remain awake and on watch. Because he was Molly, so of course there was an ulterior motive.

“You’re a very strange soul, Caleb, have I ever told you that?” Molly said, conversationally, bracing his palms behind him and lolling back, leaning his weight on them and extending his long, slender body in an irritatingly distracting way, with very clearly no intention of getting up to go to bed any time soon.

“I believe you have, yes, several times if my memory serves me, and it usually does,” he replied, stiffly.

He’d had nice, sensible, orderly plans for this quiet time alone. They had included a lot of reading, perhaps some transcribing of spells, and approximately no flirtatious, irritating, impossible tieflings who refused to surrender the watch.

“Well I’ll say it again now,” Molly replied smoothly. He was always so quick. Every reply and retort seemed to have formed in his head before Caleb had even finished stuttering out his own words. He felt clunky, and awkward, and even more socially useless than usual around Molly, and it was not a pleasant experience. “You’re a strange soul, Caleb. If I’d offered this to Fjord he’d have chewed my hand off at the chance of a few extra hours of sleep, but you want to fight me on it.” He mock-pouted, pushing his lip out like a child denied sweets, and making his large red eyes even larger in an attempt to inspire pity, “Why do you want to fight me?”

“I do not want to fight you,” Caleb protested, wondering how this conversation had managed to turn around on him already. “But I don’t feel entirely safe leaving you on watch for another four hours when you’re bound to be exhausted.”

“Do I look exhausted?” Molly demanded, one eyebrow raised.

Caleb squinted at him, trying to decide. The tiefling was notoriously difficult to read. He hid almost everything behind that smile that seemed to be perpetually tugging at the corners of lips. Caleb was quite certain he’d manage to look idle and nonchalant with one foot through death’s door. It was infuriating.

“It doesn’t matter how you look,” he said, finally, after he realised he’d been staring at Molly a little too long since the asking of his question, “It matters that you’ve had no sleep, and you will be tired. I can’t just leave you alone when it might result in us all getting eaten by a dragon or some such because you were too tired to notice.”

Molly snorted at that, “Caleb, I think I might have to be dead to not notice a giant dragon eating our companions, not just a little drowsy.”

They stared at each other for a long moment like a weathered cliff-face and the relentless tide, both of them utterly convinced of the rightness of their own existence, neither willing to yield an inch to the other.

Finally, Molly broke the silence, and the slight tension, between them with a soft laugh and an uncaring shrug. “Have it your way, then,” he said, “Two pairs of eyes are better than one, we’ll both keep watch, and when you’re complaining about your pinky toe falling off due to frostbite tomorrow I promise not to say ‘I told you so’ too often.”

Caleb frowned yet again. It was amazing how often Molly could coax that expression from him, in a myriad of different ways, no less.

“Aren’t you concerned about your pinky toes?” he asked, doing a slight double-take a second after the words left his lips as he realised exactly how ridiculous the conversation they were currently having was.

Molly smirked, cocked his head to one side, and let his voice drop to a low purr as he said, “Save your fussing for something else, sweetheart, I run hot.”

“I’ve noticed,” he muttered, without thinking.

Molly’s grin became razor-edged and near-feral, his red eyes sparkling as his tail lashed back and forth.

Caleb felt his face burn and sincerely hoped it was either too dark for Molly to see, or that he’d assume it was a reflection of the dying fire. Judging by his satisfied smirk, however, Caleb was fairly certain he could see, and was under no illusions whatsoever about the cause of his flushed cheeks.

Molly, still leaning back on his elbows, tilted his head towards the sky and closed his eyes, humming softly in contentment as a light breeze ran its fingers through his hair. He inhaled deeply, a soft, relaxed smile settling over his face.

Caleb drank in the sight of him greedily. It was rare to see him in these moments, relaxed, almost vulnerable. There was a strange intimacy to it, to watching the softness of his face, the gentle lines it fell into when he relaxed and let his guard down. He felt both privileged, and also as though he was staring at something sacred, something divine, that was not meant for his mortal, unworthy eyes.

Molly played a good game. He came across as always at his ease, unconcerned about everything, but Caleb knew that was a front, a mask he donned to hide whatever truths would otherwise be revealed. No-one looked too closely at someone like that, at someone who didn’t seem to care about anything, and who was freely open about how much bullshit they regularly spilled for little more than their own entertainment.

But Caleb knew the cost of such a front, the effort it took to maintain it, the constant tension that filled the body of a person who was forcing themselves at every turn to edit their responses and maintain this carefully crafted persona.

Watching it drop, now, as Molly’s eyes were closed, and the smile on his face was not broad, or smug, or sarcastic, but soft, barely there, and slightly crooked, with one side higher than the other, was a strange experience. It made Molly look younger, and so different, as though another person entirely was sitting in this quiet, grassy field with their face tipped up bask in the gentle gilding glow from the stars in the heavens above.

And it made Caleb feel as though he knew him better in this singular moment with the two of them alone together in the darkness than he had in all the time they’d been travelling together.

He had opened his mouth to push further but...really, what did it matter if they both sat up? What did it matter why Molly wanted to remain on watch? Maybe he, like Caleb, simply enjoyed the peace and solace that could only be found in the quiet, peaceful nights spent alone with no-one to speak at you but the soft voice of the wind, and no touch but the kiss of the cold against your skin, with no-one watching you but the thousands of glittering eyes in the distant darkness above.

He liked everyone that he was travelling with, was perhaps even fond of them, at this point, and would miss not travelling with them. But he still enjoyed the quiet, still enjoyed the peace, and privacy, and relaxed solace that only came with solitude, that could never be found by day while travelling with a group the way that they were.

“Do you mind if I summon a few lights so I can read my books?” Caleb asked, “I can’t see in the dark the way you can.”

Molly smiled, his tail lazily swaying back and forth, like a snake before a charmer. He leaned forwards, smiling, “What if your lights draw some fell beast down upon us? Perhaps I should just read it to you instead.”

Caleb opened his mouth to protest that he had to copy the spells over, and that Molly likely wouldn’t be able to make sense of it, anyway, then he closed it.

“Alright,” he said, relishing the small blink of surprise that slipped through Molly’s idle composure.

He handed over the book he was working on, opened at the last page he had left off, then balanced his spell book open on his knee, dipped his pen in an inkpot and looked up expectantly at the tiefling.

Molly was moving the book, which he had balanced open in one long-fingered hand, closer and further from his nose, as though this might help him decipher it. His eyebrows knit together, and Caleb had to bite his lip to stop himself laughing at him.

Finally, Molly cleared his throat, straightened his back officially, and proceeded to announce as though he was doing a dramatic reading for a tavern full of half-drunk folks he was hoping would toss a few silver his way, “This is complete and utter gibberish.”

Caleb smiled and gently took his book back, stating primly, “No, it is just Zemnian.”

“Isn’t that what I said?” Molly asked, waving an elegant hand as he lounged back, propping himself up on an elbow, “Gibberish, Zemnian, six and half a dozen, isn’t it?”

“Not really, no,” Caleb said, frowning. Then he smiled, “It was amusing to watch you struggle, though.” He jolted slightly as Molly whacked him lightly on the back with his tail, scowling slightly. He huffed out a soft laugh, “You can’t be the only one who gets to have fun around here, you know,” he said, his smile growing more broad.

Molly held his hands up in a gesture of mock-surrender, “You’re right, you’re right, it was very amusing.” He waved his hand idly and said, “Light up the whole campsite if you like, I don’t care, I’m staying up either way.”

Caleb nodded vaguely then summoned his dancing lights, smothering them with a rag to make a hooded lantern which he could use to read by, but which wouldn’t disturb his sleeping companions.

Molly managed to maintain the silence for all of ten second before he was peering over Caleb’s shoulder at the scrawls of Zemnian notes and magical script and symbols that were indecipherable to him. Then he laid his chin on Caleb’s shoulder and said conversationally, “You should teach me, one day.”

Caleb blinked over at him, rolling his shoulder gently to dislodge Molly, who obligingly withdrew, “Teach you what? Magic?”

“Well, if you really want,” Molly shrugged, “But I was more meaning Zemnian.”

Caleb frowned again, “Really?”

“Sure,” Molly said lazily, plucking up a long blade of grass and plaiting it seemingly effortlessly with his long, dextrous fingers, which entirely consumed Caleb’s attention for a moment before Molly’s voice jolted him back to reality, “I figure I should at least be able to say the important things in every language.”

“That is...A good policy,” Caleb said, unable to keep a note of caution and suspicion from his tone, since this seemed entirely too....Reasonable for Molly.

This feeling was confirmed a moment later when Molly rolled onto his stomach, smirking up at Caleb and said, with a distinct purr in his voice, “I feel the important things to be able to say in any language are ‘fuck you’ and ‘fuck me’. If I can do that, I’m golden.”

Caleb flushed again, cleared his throat, and pointedly returned to his book.

Molly crawled a little closer and opened his mouth again but Caleb, growing a little impatient, said, “Mollymauk, I appreciate a conversation with you sometimes. This is not one of those times. I would like it if you would just let me get on with my work, please?”

Molly pushed himself up, eyed Caleb for a long moment with his head cocked to one side like a confused puppy, then he gave a little half-shrug and nodded, “Of course,” he replied evenly, “Whatever you like.”

The tiefling then promptly flopped onto his back, gazing up at the expansive heavens spread above them and spattered by stars. Caleb gave him another moment of consideration as he realised he had never really seen the tiefling get angry, or even mildly frustrated, by anything the others did.

Then, savouring the peace and quiet at last, he dedicated himself to his book.

A few minutes later he was jolted out of his focused study by the grating sound of metal rasping against stone.

Suddenly painfully alert, he allowed his palm to blacken with fire, feeling the scalding through his veins, ready to use it, ready to-

Molly’s soft, dark laughter made him turn his head, looking down to see him, realising he had stood up without realising it.

“Relax,” Molly said, smiling, “We’re not in danger, which you’d know if you were actually paying attention.” He gave him a broad, lazy smirk, fangs exposed, “Good thing I stayed up after all, eh?”

Caleb pursed his lips and said, “If I was alone I would be paying less attention to this,” he held his book up, “And more attention to this,” he gestured around at the dark night around them.

Molly laughed softly, “I thought you didn’t want me to stay up,” he said, cocking his head slightly to one side.

“I said it was unnecessary, and that you should get to sleep. I did not say that I didn’t want you to stay up.”

“Well that’s good to know,” Molly replied mildly, “I was almost insulted you thought so little of my company.” Caleb opened and closed his mouth several times, not sure how to respond. Molly huffed impatiently and tugged at his hand, “Sit down,” he urged him, “You’re making me nervous with your hovering.”

Caleb settled himself on the ground once more, then glanced back at Molly, frowning slightly, “What was that noise?”

“You mean this noise?” Molly smirked. From the ground he picked up one of his scimitars and a small, palm sized whetstone which he drew along the curved blade, replicating the rasping sound that had startled Caleb earlier.

Molly laughed again at Caleb’s reaction, then tossed down the stone, and delicately laid the scimitar beside its fellow with a shrug. “I can stop if it bothers you,” he said, “Though it’d probably benefit you if my swords were sharp.”

“It doesn’t bother me,” Caleb murmured.

“Good,” Molly chirped brightly, promptly picking up the scimitar and whetstone once again.

As Molly returned to his work, he found that, now anticipated, the rhythmic sound was actually quite soothing. He also found that his attention began to wander from his book to the light gilded form of Mollymauk sitting beside him. His hands were deft and sure in the practiced way they moved along the blade, pausing the rhythm of his strokes every few minutes to check the edge.

Caleb felt Molly’s red eyes on him as the rasping of the whetstone stopped for longer than it typically did. He cleared his throat, trying to ignore the pleased smirk that spread across the tiefling’s face, as if he knew exactly what Caleb had been thinking, and exactly why those scarred, long-fingered lavender hands of his were capturing his imagination, and returned to his book.

It was incredible, truly. He had sat in leaking inns with wind whistling between cracks in the wooden walls, rain battering the windows, as the storm made the very foundations creak, the roof leaking, and had found it almost no trouble to concentrate on his studies. Yet all it took was one flamboyantly dressed, ostentatious tiefling sitting so close Caleb could feel the inviting heat seeping from his skin to make it almost impossible to write more than a few words at a time.

He gripped the pen more tightly and, frowning, forced himself to focus. He needed to get this spell done some time before dawn and-

A sharp hiss and curse from Molly had him sitting up, the nib of the pen snapping as he pressed it down too hard onto the page. Looking over he saw blood welling on the ball of Molly’s thumb. Glancing down, his own fingers were stained with the dark liquid of the ink that oozed from the pen in a similar way the blood wept from Molly’s skin.

“Sorry,” Molly offered, looking down at the now ruined page in Caleb’s book.

“It is alright,” Caleb said, and it was, mostly, thanks to Molly’s distracting presence he had made barely any headway at all with the spell. A dedicated five minutes without the intrusion of purple tieflings would catch him up. “Are you?” he found himself asking.

“Mm?” Molly replied, absently, now sucking on his cut thumb.

“Alright, I meant,” Caleb pressed.

Molly smirked, his fangs tinted faintly red, “Caleb,” he said, smiling and cocking his head to one side, “It’s very sweet of you, but you should have noticed by now I’m not very easily bothered by pain.”

Covered in scars as he was, this assertion should have made Caleb feel foolish for asking after him. Instead he felt a strange, soft tinge of sadness.

“Still,” Caleb murmured, “I thought I should at least ask.”

Molly opened his mouth, no doubt to toss out one of his frequent quick quips, then he closed it again, studying Caleb. He fiddled idly with a loose thread in his trousers for a moment then, without looking up, said softly, “Thank you.”

There was a pregnant silence, in which neither of them seemed to know what to say. Molly broke it with a bright, “Well, I’d definitely say this one is sharp enough now,” he laid the first scimitar down and picked up the second, allowing them both to relax in the wake of the rhythm of stone against steel.

A breeze picked up, making the grass around them ripple in waves, as though it had been transformed to a pond of star-dappled emeralds and a stone had been tossed into it. Caleb shifted a little, cursing quietly in Zemnian and tugging his coat more tightly around himself.

There was a soft clink of metal on metal as Molly set down his second sword and said, “Problem?”

Caleb shrugged his shoulders noncommittally and muttered, “Just cold.”

Molly snorted softly in reply and Caleb blinked up at him, frowning slightly, “Is that all?” he said, mildly.

Caleb opened his mouth irritably to point out that some of them might be tieflings with fire in their blood and the ability to stay warm while encased in an ice cube, but others were only human, and weren’t accustomed to sleeping outdoors as Winter drew in- But he had barely opened his mouth when Molly had scooted right next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, coiling his tail around his waist, and tossing a blanket around them both.

“You should voice your problems more often, you know,” Molly told him conversationally, as though completely unaffected by their proximity, while Caleb struggled to remember how to breathe, “Especially when they have such simple solutions.”

“I, I- Molly, this is really not necessary, I-“ he began, torn between the comforting warmth of Molly that was already seeping into him and relaxing his cold-stiff muscles, and the rush of heat in his core that had nothing to do with shared body heat, and everything to do with his aching awareness of how close Molly was.

“’Course it is!” Molly said, brightly, “Can’t have our wizard freezing to death when it’s so easily prevented.” He squinted to the side and withdrew slightly, pulling his upper body away, though his tail remained curled around his waist, “Although,” he added, “If it’s a problem, I can-“

He made to pull further away and Caleb found himself reacting a little too quickly, “No, no it is not a problem, I-“ he broke off, cleared his throat, and said as composedly as he could, “Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Molly replied, winking at him.

Silence claimed the camp once again and Caleb returned to his books. Molly’s warmth and the softness of his body against his was oddly comforting and he found himself relaxing, savouring the warmth and the contact from the tiefling.

Molly seemed to sway beside him, his head nodding, blinking rapidly and giving himself little shakes. Caleb noted this, but chose not to comment on it. If it was selfish, that he didn’t want Molly to leave him alone in the cold for his bedroom, then he couldn’t be blamed for that, surely?

After a long while, Caleb oddly finding that he focused better with Molly right beside him, leaning heavily against him, worked on his notes, scrapping the ruined page and starting afresh, feeling the tiefling’s red eyes following the rhythmic progress of his pen.

There was a strange beauty in it, Caleb had found, a hypnotic quality to the flow of smooth black ink on the rough pale parchment, and he could feel Molly being drawn into it. It gave him a strange sense of heady power, to have him so close, so focused on his movements, on his study, on the thing he had dedicated his life to.

A half hour later, however, Molly had rested his head against Caleb’s shoulder, letting him take almost his full weight, which he was happy enough to do. He had rarely seen Molly this truly comfortable. Oh the tiefling acted it well, he seemed not to care about anything or anyone, but there was always at least a part of him that remained switched on and alert. All of that was gone now.

A while later, still, Caleb realised that Molly’s breathing had deepened and, with a start, he glanced up and realised he had fallen asleep.

A small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, Caleb gently rearranged the blanket around his shoulders to make sure he was completely covered, then returned to his reading.

#widomauk #caleb widogast #mollymauk tealeaf #mollymauk #critical role #cr2 #critical role fic #widomauk fic #my fic #text post tag #user: widomauk #the gray tag #I HOPE U LIKE IT AFTER IT TOOK SIXTEEN YEARS #AND I HOPE U DON'T MIND I SPLIT IT INTO A TWO-PARTER D:#but it just seemed to make sense

239 notes · View notes